#come talk to me about those two because I am devastated

[t0ast-ghost]

S3 episode 4 (And The Children Shall Lead) I'll explain what happened to episode 3 under the cut of this post.

Start here:

- The three of them beaming down together is a good start

- Guys they're not dead!… they’re just sleepy

- Kirk is not amused

- As much as I want to believe Kirk would be good with children, it’s proven (canonically) he is not

- “I am getting a feeling of anxiety in this place.” This reminds me of a good omens line. If ya know, ya know.

- I love nurse chapel. The medical department being good with kids is heartwarming

- Is this a Peter Pan situation? (edit: nope)

- So why are the kids chanting and summoning an entity? Let's not have to call the exorcist.

- “Have Dr. McCoy report to my quarters.” Yeah…?

- We get to watch Sulu press buttons and turn dials :)

- Uhura’s double take

- “You’re losing control of yourself, sir.” “Not yet.” Scotty then proceeds to fight two guys and get knocked out

- “The enemy from within!” Previous episode mention

- That’s horrific. The children controlling their parents caused them to die on Triacus. Star Trek can write some pretty fucked up shit actually. But it doesn't deal with the consequences.

- McCoy’s opinion is outnumbered two to one again so he just storms out

- They just beamed those two redshirts out into space…

- “Friendly angel come to me.”

- Kirk and Spock share a look like, ‘what the fuck is going on’

- Spell that makes you see knives in space

- Poor Uhura. No one wants to see their own death, but amazing acting

- “Captain, why are we bothering starfleet?” Spock too? Kirk you gotta go find McCoy, maybe he’ll be talking some sense

- So why haven’t I seen anyone talk about this?

- “My Vulcan friend.” Yep Kirk. Reassert your friendship.

- Spock grabs Kirk’s arm to reassure him

- WOAH! He jumped to killing kids way too fast (worst case scenario stun or hypo them! Jesus)

- Kirk has had to remind himself that it’s not okay to punch a child a few too many times in this episode (I can see it in his eyes)

- He’s playing the video of all the kids playing with their parents on Triacus and they’re smiling but I’m expecting Kirk to just say ‘and now.. your parents are dead.’ - omg they really did just switch suddenly to their DEAD PARENTS. No remorse.

- This episode is fucking devastating

- Bones is going to come back from wherever the fuck he is and just, 'Jim, I specifically told you not to traumatize these kids.'

- The ‘angel’ dying is fucking horrifying

Now everything’s fine and dandy. Not like the entire bridge just went through major mind fuck of an ordeal or anything

Masterpost

Episode written by Edward J. Lakso

So I didn't actually watch episode 3, I watched around 15 minutes and then said, 'I really just don’t want to watch this episode. So I won’t.'

Only thoughts from this episode that I'm gonna mention are:

- The reason that they didn't let Spock point out the pine trees is because he would have said their scientific name

- “Typical human reaction to an idyllic natural setting.” McCoy says this with so little bite towards Spock, like he’s actually having a conversation with him and explaining what it is. AHH

- They could have easily left McCoy on the planet to search for Jim while Spock goes to divert the asteroid. If being alone was the issue they could've beamed down a security officer/team

Other than that... there's nothing. Sorry Margaret Armen.

#Youtube #star trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #captain james kirk #tos kirk #spock #s'chn t'gai spock #tos spock #leonard bones mccoy #tos mccoy #tos bones #hikaru sulu #tos sulu #nyota uhura #tos uhura

[flo-n-flon]

"Do not let Lan follow me. He will try, if he sees me."

#The Shadow Rising #The wheel of time #wot book spoilers #moiraine damodred #lan mandragoran #book: wheel of time #character: moiraine damodred #character: lan mandragoran #fanart #clothing the ladies unnecessarily bared one scene at a time #but yeah I finished TFoH and UH #that quote is resonant #I was not fine during that scene in TSR #a lot of it is the strain between them and how little we get of them and suddenly this scene which is desperate and completely silent #come talk to me about those two because I am devastated #I have still one scene I want to draw from TSR but it's going to be the hardest emotionally #I am afraid

[mrs-monaghan]

Hey Shaz,

sorry if this is phrased weirdly

Sometimes when anons come here bringing up the possibility of a petty jikook breakup or a breakdown of their relationship over certain things, you say "JK would never allow that to happen".

No idea if you've thought this much about it, but it's a heavy line that might say a lot about how much you believe JK regards having Jimin as his partner. Can you share what moments or traits about JK make you think he wouldn't let Jimin easily walk away?

I could definitely see a Jimin version of this too seeing how much those two adore each other lol

Hello my lovely. It always boils down to satellite Jeon for me. It always will

Did you see that?

RM got in the way and it wasn't even on purpose this time. JK just wasn't quick enough. This moment reminds me of the one I always bring up from this post. Him trying and failing. I feel bad when he fails. Especially when Jimin doesn't notice 😔

Okay so, Jimin loves JK, don't get me wrong. He loves him very, very, very much and is proud to have Jeon Jungkook as a boyfriend. That has been made very clear over the years. So me saying what I'm about to say on this post, does not mean that Jimin loves JK less or doesn't love JK as much as JK loves him. No, that's not it at all and I beg you to not think that that's what I'm saying, at all. Jimin is just as dedicated and committed to the rlship. They both are.

But, it is of my personal opinion that if they broke up it would destroy JK. Jimin would be heartbroken and devastated too but it would hit JK harder.

Now, idk if this spectrum thing is true, but we have seen evidence that points to the fact that Jimin is JK's rock. 1300% When I use the words safe space here, I am not using them lightly. I take satellite Jeon very, very seriously. That my dear is a need not a want.

Now forget about Jimin touching on JK's neck for... sexual reasons

That definitely made JK's dick twitch. For sure. It's the finger placement and how deep he's pressing. It's JK's face. There is nothing innocent about that touch 👆🏽 which explains why it affected JK the way it did. Mans was super confused. Stood up for nothing before sitting back down. But I digress.

If we could all turn to page 13 of our Jikook books we will find this moment here.

An anon brought this up recently but I can't find that ask. Anyhu, the director wanted JK to relax and of course Jimin knew how to get him there. Which, what?

The thing about watching Jikook moments over and over and over is that they start to become just sweet or adorable or cute... they become normal. But, my dear anon there is nothing normal about Jimin knowing exactly where to massage in order to relax JK. There is something about Jimin when it comes to JK's neck because he always finds a reason to touch that neck. There is more than enough compilations of this.

Suffice to say, JK's neck is hella sensitive and his man knows this. As he should. But my main point remains that Jimin knew exactly what to do to relax JK. And that's just a scratch of the surface when we think about just how much Jimin knows about JK.

The post i linked above for the satellite Jeon moment is about what happened with JK when Jimin was busy during FACE era. How it was clearly affecting JK. Maybe even physically. Jimin's absence was affecting him.

Y'all just stop for a second and think about that. Jimin's absence was affecting JK. That's... thats big. That's fucking huge.

Anyone else ever wonder if BTS almost disbanding in 2018 had anything at all to do with Jikook? Like I know they have all talked about how they were overworking and it got to be too much. The fame got to be too much. But was there other factors that couldn't be brought up? Y'all ever wonder about that?

I am reminded of this post by a friend of mine and I'm inclined to agree with her. That maybe, just maybe JK was naive enough to think now that he was essentially an adult they could be more open. But instead they were pushed further into the closest. What's that thing he said that he also started singing about? About how he can finally take off his uniform?

While it sounds like a sexual innuendo, idk. There is something about that whole "FINALLY!"

Look at his face 😂😂😂 its either JK hated school and was glad to have been done with it or it was about Jikook. Or both. As we all know there is alot of questionable things that take place on this day. But either way I agree with my friend up there that JK thought things were going to change after graduation but instead they didn't. Thus why he started being loud in 2018 onwards.

Back to the disbanding, I've always wondered if BTS thought hiding Jikook wasn't sustainable. Its alot of work keeping such a secret. I mean, look at the amount of slip ups. From all of them. And so I often wonder if this affected the Jikook rlship in any way. If over the years their rlship has ever put their group in a difficult position. A position where they thought about halting the breaks on their rlship. And I can see something like this coming from Jimin. Self sacrificing Jimin who puts other people's happiness before his own. And I wonder if this could have affected JK... badly. I'm not saying it happened. It's just something I can see happen. Aint no way the Jikook rlship hasn't caused trouble for all of them at one point or another.

I digressed. But y'all should be used to it by now 😂😂

In 2019 it was rumoured that it was Jimin's idea for them to spend their holidays separately. I already talked about it here how this affected JK. He went along with it, of course. I mean, its what Jimin wanted so of course JK went along with it. But to me it seems like JK would have been just fine being with Jimin over the holidays even though they were always together at work.

I've mentioned before how fascinating it is that they lived together and yet when they got to work JK was fighting to stand next to Jimin or was cheating so they could be on the same team. Like damn. You left the same house and are gonna take the same car to go and sleep in the same bed how do you still want to spend all your time with Jimin at work too????? No wonder Jimin wanted them to have a break from eo that holiday. It's not healthy. U need space.

You see what I mean, anon?

RM and Jin are two members we've seen complain that JK won't come out with them. (Jin in BV4 and RM in a recent live) I'm sure Suga would too but... I don't think they're that close 😂😂 (y'all know how I feel about Yoonkook. Don't start with me) As for V I'm pretty sure they're hanging out is a recent development. And I'm almost positive it's Jimin's doing. Then there's Jhope. Yes, 3J are close. But Jhope is Jimin's bestfriend. So he's gonna be around. But without Jimin, I feel like JK wouldn't bother.

Like, to me, in my opinion, it seems like when it comes to JK, Jimin is enough. He don't need other people. And I can see Jimin pushing him to make other friends, hang out with other people, etc. Wasn't the 97 liners first public appearance in 2019? Which is when Jimin suggested they do their own thing? I know they knew eo way before that. But JK must not have been spending time with them for Jimin to suggest they do their own thing.

See what I mean?

And let's not forget about JK coming live when Jimin leaves the country. When bae is gone, thats when the man remembers we exist 🤭🤭 but hey, I'm not mad at it.

Like I said anon, it all comes down to satellite Jeon. I'm not saying JK can't live without Jimin but I think that's what he believes. That's why he's so protective and territorial coz he can't afford to lose Jimin.

I've brought up how all members have been caught thirsting over other men and women including Jimin but there is no footage out there that exists of JK checking out another person. I mean, he has eyes, he sees other attractive guys but Jimin seems to be the only one that does it for him. Not that I blame him, of course.

Anon I have said alot of words but I hope I have answered your question; Jikook are interdependent....there's no question about it. But, JK more than Jimin....

.

.

.

.

I know there are Jikookers who don't like Satellite Jeon. Usually they're the JK biased Jkkrs. And I get it. They think JK needs Jimin too much and wish he was more independent. But I think he is. To some extent. Or at least he's gotten better. And no, I dont think it makes him look weak at all. If anything we should be happy he is attached to the right person. A person who has the kindest soul and would never do anything to hurt him. A person who loves him back and takes great care of him. Maybe you wish JK didn't need Jimin so much. But I believe he's in good hands. Jimin fucking loves that man

Has adored him since the beginning

And he would do anything for him.

Trust.

#jikook theories #jikook theory #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #satellite jeon #whipped jk #whipped jungkook #jikook is real #if jikook isn't real then neither I'm i #bts #jimin #jungkook #park jimin #jeon jungkook

[ingravinoveritas]

How did u feel with the age gap question was it pr or do u really think he meant it and this was the truth

This is referring to the question asked on The Assembly last night. I'll post the clip here, for those who haven't seen it yet:

A lot of what I felt while watching this was touched on in this incredibly thoughtful post from @body-face-words, so I encourage folks to give that a read. But I think for me, when it comes to Michael's answer, it's not a matter of whether he lied or told the truth. It's that his response was sweet, but it was also a version of the truth that sounded convincing because it needed to, because this was not a time or place where he could say what he actually felt.

I'm really not sure what people expected him to say, in all honesty, as he was never going to say anything that would make him or Anna look bad, and especially not anything that could potentially negatively impact the kids, so he instead gave a very perfect PR answer. This again does not come as a surprise because we know Michael has scripted his answers about AL/their relationship in the past, but I noticed how careful he was in his response, which seems to contrast with how off-the-cuff he normally is when discussing every other subject. Part of what so many of us love about Michael is how unfiltered he is and always has been, with the exception of how much he filters and edits himself when talking about Anna.

It also seemed like, at least from my perspective, that Michael answered the question without answering the question. What the girl asked wasn't so much about the age gap, but about AL being five years older than Michael's daughter Lily, and it would've been a perfect opportunity for him to mention her, or how the relationship with AL affected his and Lily's relationship. He could've talked about the falling out he had with her (and Kate) in 2019 once AL's existence/pregnancy came to light, and what has happened in the years since, or how Lily now gets along with Anna/her half-sisters. But instead Michael deflected from all of that and talked about everything while saying nothing at the same time.

It was also the things Michael didn't say that stood out as much as the things he did. In the entire answer to the question, Michael never once used the word "love." Prior to the show airing, I saw a lot of people online confident that he would say that he loves Anna, but he never did. He never praised her, never talked about the things he loves about her, or how glad he is to be with her. He never once mentioned her by name. The pivot and focus was on the kids, and there was a clear distinction made between how happy he is to have the family he does, rather than to be in the relationship that he is in. Michael's use of the phrase "very happy" was also identical to the wording of a comment AL wrote on Instagram the other day, which added to the whole "reinforcing a public narrative" feeling of his response.

I think what struck me most of all, though, was how somber and heavyhearted Michael sounded while saying how happy he is. It reminded me of the song "I Am a Rock" by Simon & Garfunkel, where the upbeat and cheerful music contrasts starkly with the fraught, angry lyrics. There was no sparkle in Michael's eyes when he said it, no enthusiasm for what he was saying (which is particularly jarring when we know Michael has the capacity for incredible enthusiasm), and his face never lit up while he was talking.

There was one specific moment (which is also highlighted in the body language post) where he seemed to visibly wince and the micro-expressions were in overdrive, and it immediately made me think of a moment from Good Omens:

Time and again, I have seen fans talk about Michael's micro-expressions as an actor and how he uses them to such devastating effect (especially in the role of Aziraphale). And while these two moments are not completely identical, the idea of ignoring how Michael uses those same micro-expressions in real life makes no sense to me at all. In this instance, what we're seeing could be either because he has put so much of himself into Aziraphale that we can now recognize those "Michael" moments...or it could be because in both clips he is performing, albeit for different reasons.

The difference between Michael when he is doing this vs. when he is being genuinely himself is made even more apparent by the question immediately following this one. Unprompted, he brings up David, and the change in his expression and demeanor is swift and dramatic:

Having the mention of David happen so soon after the AL question seemed to highlight so many things. I can't help but feel that David is a security blanket for Michael, something he hides behind when he is feeling anxious or sad or overwhelmed. I wondered if perhaps he was even already thinking of David while answering the AL question, which would explain why he named him so readily--as if his mind needed to drift to someplace else just to finish answering that question.

To me, this made it abundantly clear that David is Michael's safe place. Here was where we saw Michael's eyes sparkling. Here was where we saw him light up from the inside. And it was David he kept returning to and bringing up during the rest of the show in response to other questions. So if that doesn't speak volumes about where Michael's heart seems to be, I'm not sure what does.

So yes, those are my thoughts on Michael answering the age gap question on The Assembly. As always, this is just my interpretation, but I am glad to hear from my followers with your take as well. Thanks for writing in! x

#angel19924 #reply post #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #the assembly #michael is a talented actor #but he can't hide his true feelings as himself #the only other time AL came up as well was when one of the interviewers said his mother likes Michael #and Michael said 'Don't tell Anna' as mirthlessly as possible #also the way he talked about being afraid of being alone broke my heart #it made me think of how you can be with someone and still feel totally alone #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #i'm feeling a lot of feelings #and will soon answer another Ask I have waiting about the show #anna lundberg #relationships #discourse #gifs by me

[prismatoxic]

cause I need to hear more of your sweet thoughts bout those two freaks, favorite laichil moments that have been stewing in the back of the mind?

oh gosh ummmmm

well now that episode 11 is out i am so very deeply fond of laios's visual pan from kensuke to chilchuck's dawning, rage-filled horror at what's happened

i think the swearing was better in the manga--not because the anime let him say actual words (bc i think that's awesome) but bc in the manga i thought they were still running while chilchuck was doing this. good visual

OF COURSE THE BEST EPISODE 11 CHILAIOS MOMENT... TO ME... is when chilchuck tells laios they're going to have a Talk later

the dub delivery kind of disappointed me (as it always does) BUT IN THE SUB the way laios immediately agrees is so very much, to me, a "yes sir" moment. and if you read my fic you know i'm very into this

i have a lot of little canon moments that i'm super fond of and am very excited to see in the anime... my faves are often when chilchuck is being a hostile little goblin but i'm so fucking excited about what i assume will be episode 13. you know. because

um

okay i have a lot of thoughts actually (MANGA SPOILERS I'M SERIOUS)

so. chapter 30.

chilchuck goes to get the party's supplies from where they were abandoned in the house they had dinner with falin at, having his own character arc along the way. we have seen him try to convince both leed and senshi that the smartest thing to do will be to lie to laios and marcille so they can return to the surface. trying to continue in this state will kill them, but neither of them will rest if they think they can still find falin. neither senshi nor leed agree with chilchuck's plan, and leed insinuates he's a coward. chilchuck stays firm. even after he's clearly pushed off kilter by leed saying he should just tell the truth, we don't have any concrete reason to think he will.

then they return and senshi is struggling to keep a now-awake laios down. laios is wounded and weak and senshi is a dwarf but laios is so deeply, fervently determined to get falin back that he's very hard to stop.

chilchuck, by contrast, is not strong at all, but somehow his added presence gets laios to sit back down. chilchuck rests a hand on laios's shoulder and even before he says anything, laios is looking at him. he knows something is coming. i think he resents chilchuck for it, too--the implication that there's anything to be said here.

we don't know at this point what chilchuck intends to say. senshi still thinks he wants to lie and intends to stop him, but i think it's clear in this moment that chilchuck has changed his mind.

he kneels--proud, all-too-aware of "how his people are treated for their size" chilchuck kneels between laios's legs. and i'm not pointing this out for horny reasons, for once.

he's bringing himself closer to laios--assuming a position associated with pleading and willingly making himself not the authority in this interaction. he believes, wholeheartedly, in what he wants to do and what needs to be said, but...

he also knows laios is hurting.

laios is... devastated. he's terrified. he's angry. but he's also still laios, and he knows chilchuck, insofar as chilchuck has allowed him to. he also respects chilchuck. so this--a teary-eyed plea to do what goes against everything he feels--gives him pause. chilchuck does not beg, and he does not cry.

...and he never talks about how he feels.

but he does, here: he doesn't want to lose his friends. and he does mean all of them, senshi included. he has three people to think of--three people whose lives he cannot in good conscience allow to be put at risk any more than they already have been. even so, he acknowledges that however laios feels about falin is probably incomparable.

but he tries to give laios hope--he gives him a plan of action. he says we will come back. he tries to impress upon laios that this isn't defeat and it isn't surrender, it's being safe. it's giving themselves an actual fighting chance at getting falin back.

laios doesn't want to... but he also doesn't say that. all the things he's feeling haven't gone away, but he's also aware of just how big this situation is if chilchuck opened himself up this way. chilchuck does not and never has done this. up until the fight with the red dragon, you could be forgiven for assuming chilchuck is just a contracted coworker who's a little fond of the party and nothing more.

senshi and leed, the only people who knew chilchuck's plan to lie to the others, don't openly acknowledge his change of heart... but they back him up. they pitch in to push laios just a little further, to get him to agree.

and it works.

so. um. episode 13 will be good i think

#tox answers #chilaios #dunmeshi spoilers #dunmeshi anime spoilers #ummmmm i got a little into this one #long post

[leclerc-s]

so american

series masterlist

logansargeant posted a new story

hey! this pretty girl has 5 extra songs coming out soon! go stream or else!

liked by lilymhe, maejonesverstappen, logansargeant and others

zoyatorres we're so american

tagged: logansargeant

view all comments

logansargeant POOKIE I LOVE YOU!

↳ zoyatorres NO POOKIE, I LOVE YOU!

user92 see we knew the song was about him but the caption is still so cute.

lilymhe when is it my turn to get a love song written about me?

↳ zoyatorres this just means alex_albon needs to step up his game!

↳ alex_albon how am i supposed to compete with 'he's like a poem i wish i wrote' i can't!

isabellaperez WRITE A LOVE SONG ABOUT ME NEXT!!

logansargeant keep this shit up and i'm going to marry you

↳ zoyatorres logan sargeant are you proposing to moi?

↳ charles_leclerc i sure hope that's not on how he plans to ask you.

↳ jensonbutton as do i. i taught you better than this logan.

↳ logansargeant IT'S A LYRIC IN THE SONG!

user45 no one is doing it like them.

irisapatow okay, i guess you guys are cute.

↳ logansargeant POOKIE! I GOT THE APPROVAL!

↳ zoyatorres LET'S GO! IRIS I LOVE YOU!

user31 those are my parents guys!! they're so fucking cute!!

user20 it's such a cute love song for a girl who's never released a love song before. (i'm not talking about gross!)

rhysjones just two americans in love, for once. everyone seems to love dating people from different countries.

↳ isabellaperez i would argue against but it seems to be true. they are the only couple from the same country.

oscarpiastri you wrote a love song about the guy who tripped over air and ended up covered in mud before your first date?

↳ logansargeant SHUT UP? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET?

↳ isabellaperez it's okay logan, he almost shit his pants the first time he met my mom and brother.

↳ oscarpiastri do you hate me?

maejonesverstappen this is so cute. the song is so cute, i'm obsessed one could say.

↳ rhysjones that was a horrible joke, never joke again.

↳ maejonesverstappen i will revoke your paddock passes.

user04 i sincerely hope logan knows how lucky he is to be dating zoya.

↳ logansargeant i am very much aware.

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¡leclerc-s speaks! i am devastated about what williams decided to do, but that is because i have a soft spot for my fellow american, so this is what happens. it's a little short but that's okay. lastly, manifesting points for williams tomorrow. hope their decision works out for them.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #logan sargeant #logan sargeant x female oc #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

Ed’s journey this season is going to perfectly mirror addiction and recovery, and I am so fucking here for it. Watching these first three episodes of S2 was like watching a highly dramatized AU of my own descent into rock bottom (except everyone was dressed wayyyyyy cooler than I ever was), so I have a lot of thoughts, reactions, and insights that I want to share with other fans. I’m sure many of us who have struggled with our mental health connected with Ed in these episodes, but I think addiction is the most appropriate lens through which to view him because addicts (more often than people who struggle with other mental illnesses) so wholly destroy their own lives and utterly devastate those of their loved ones. I want to share - from the perspective of someone who has steered her own ship straight into a storm and woke up alone to face some very hard choices - what is going on with Ed at the start of this season and what I think is coming.

Let me start by saying that Ed isn’t literally addicted to any one thing, despite his heavy use of drugs and alcohol, but his goal is the same as that of all addicts: escape. He does not want to sit with the pain of Stede leaving him on an immediate, surface level; on a deeper, more habitual level, he doesn’t want to sit with the pain of his own self-loathing. Of course the two are related: the former brings the latter to a head. Stede abandoning him dredges up and brightly illuminates all of his insecurities, and now Ed has to run. Get out. Escape. Don’t think about it. So he is fighting, stealing, drinking, snorting, shooting, killing - whatever it takes to not think about it.

“Demon? I’m the fuckin’ devil.” People in recovery often talk about addiction as if it were a separate, sentient monster living within them. Ed taking on the mantle of demon - a creature known specifically for possession, for removing the host’s free will - is intentional. So is his insistence that he’s not just any demon but the demon. The worst there is. (More on that when we get to The Innkeeper.)

Izzy’s confrontation of Ed in the captain’s cabin and then on deck is a form of intervention. Izzy is trying to help Ed, but of course this goes terribly for him and for Ed because interventions (I cannot stress this enough) are maybe the worst thing you could do to an addict. All addicts know things are bad, but they cannot be pushed to change one single second before they’re ready. Ed knows things are bad. He’s well-aware of how he’s spending his time, how his crew feels about him, how disappointed Izzy is. Being confronted with all of those truths by Izzy was always only going to make him do two things: 1) dig further into his unhealthy coping mechanisms, never mind that they don’t have nearly the effect that they used to; and 2) lash out at the person who forced him to think about it. Izzy lost his leg the moment he stepped into Ed’s cabin.

The impossible bird. You guys remember the song Chandelier by Sia? The one about her addiction to alcohol? The whole thing may as well come right out of Ed’s mouth at the end of that first episode, because that experience is exactly what he’s trying to convey to Frenchie. Nevermind that Frenchie has the temerity to tell him the bird can’t exist, that it has to come down sometime, that flying forever isn’t sustainable. The bird can come down on its own terms, or crash… but Frenchie’s definitely not going to say that much. Still, “that sounds like something that can’t exist” hits Ed, and leads us to the next episode.

Now we’ve got Ed forlorn, heartbroken, almost catatonic while playing with his cake toppers. We don’t actually see him crying in the opening of the episode, which is the point. He’s done crying now. The impossible bird can’t exist, and Ed has already resigned himself to this. He’s decided to die. The only sure-fire permanent way to not think about it.

When next we see Ed, he seems to be doing better, but this is a huge red flag for anyone who knows to look. He’s giving away his responsibility to Frenchie; he’s cleaning the cabin for the closure. He knows the end is coming fast, and the relief that knowledge brings him leaves him weirdly at peace. It is he eeriest part of these episodes, IMO.

Then he goes to find his first mate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world, the man he just fucking shot and ordered killed. Ed needs his low opinion of himself validated, and of course he thinks he’ll get it from Izzy after everything he’s done to him. He wants the one person who has stuck with him through everything to confirm that he’s now irretrievably broken and no longer worthy of his love. Ed wants someone to tell him that he’s right: he should die.

He doesn’t get that from Izzy. Interestingly, Izzy doesn’t tell him he should die. He says “Clean up your own mess.” Izzy has learned the lesson now that Ed isn’t ready to get better and that he can’t make him be ready. (This post isn’t about Izzy, but hoo boy - I have big feels about that man.)

Ed has been indulging in various forms of self-destruction in order to not feel his feelings, and steering the ship into the storm is his worst indulgence yet. This is the worst of his crimes - not beheading or arson or a red wedding. It’s when he tries to bring down everyone who has ever loved him into his misery, into believing what he believes. The audience generally (and Ed’s audience of Stede specifically) can forgive him for hurting strangers and for the non-specific mayhem whose victims we’ve never met; but it is much less certain that anyone will forgive him for hurting the only family he’s ever known.

The storm itself is the perfect metaphor for Ed’s attempt on his and, incidentally, everyone else’s lives. One of the most common metaphors used by friends and family members of addicts is that of a hurricane: that their addicted loved-ones tend to destroy everything they touch, anyone who was foolish or brave enough to stick around. And, like hurricanes, addicts aren’t malicious. Ed’s primary goal here is to get himself killed, not to kill everyone else. He wants the ship to go down so his death is certain. His firing a cannonball into the mast and asking Jim and Archie to fight to the death isn’t malice: it’s utter and complete nihilism. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing and no one. The end is near, and he’s so fucking drunk and high off these distractions that he couldn’t think about it if he tried. He’s manic with relief. (See also: “Finally.”)

And now for the finale: Purgatory. Buckle up, because this is where the addiction analogy gets real *chef’s kiss.* Purgatory is the equivalent of the morning after the worst, most rock bottom binge night of your life. You wake up with no one for company but the ghosts of your former selves. Now what?

Well, first - who is Hornigold to Ed? Why is he the guy Ed sees? It’s because Hornigold is another addict, if you will, but one who is (in this Purgatory hallucination) farther along in his recovery. He can impart some wisdom from that place, but he can also stand in as someone Ed can loathe because they’re not as different as Ed once thought, even if Hornigold can say he’s grown.

Hornigold tries to give him soup. He tells Ed, “Gotta get these nutrients into you,” and then literally shoves soup down his throat. That’s what it’s like in rock bottom. You don’t want to take care of yourself, but some lizard brain survival instinct takes over and makes you drink water, eat a piece of fruit, take yourself to the hospital. These things don’t really happen voluntarily that morning after, but you can still count on that instinct to kick in with some damage control.

Ed telling Hornigold how he “got here.” Hornigold says “Mutiny. It’s always mutiny.” Ed insists his mutiny was special, worse somehow. This whole scene is exactly what happens in your first recovery support group meeting. You go in thinking no one has ever been as fucked and fucked up as you are, which makes you feel isolated and alone. But then you get there and everyone else in the circle has done the same shit, been through the same shit. Ed’s not actually the devil; he’s just another demon, like many demons before him.

Ed worries he’s insane when he reflects on everything he’s done. Hornigold’s reply that “Feeling bad isn’t going to rebuild an abdominal wall” is a concept that people usually learn a little bit later in recovery, so I expect we’ll see more on this theme from Ed. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to conversely make the addict feel better but doesn’t help the harmed party: the addict feels like their suffering is cleansing, but it’s not - feeling guilt is just more self-indulgence, more self-destruction. Hornigold - a fellow addict in this moment - is trying to get this lesson to him early. It’ll return.

“You’ve got to move on or blow your brains out.” We’re getting back to Purgatory as the metaphor for the morning-after rock bottom, because this is the exact calculation that every person in recovery has done. They all had to answer that one big question. Your whole life is a mess, and you made the mess. Do you want to clean it up? Or quit? (Or make some soup? Yeah. That big question can’t be answered without basic needs having been met. So let’s eat. Let’s start there. It’s easier.)

Now we have Ed’s fantasy about opening an inn: This is also a common part of the morning-after rock bottom. You start thinking about the wrong turns you took, the mistakes you made, the way your life was supposed to go and all the reasons you’re not where you wanted to be. (And all the people you can blame for the fact that your life didn’t go as planned.) And when that honest part of yourself starts telling you that actually it’s all your fault… well, a) you don’t wanna hear it, and b) you can’t silence (kill) that monster, no matter how hard you try. You’ve got to face it. Face all those truths you’ve been running from for years. Now you have to think about it.

So now the big question, the inevitable math. Hornigold suggests looking at the pros and the cons. That’s the easiest way to break the calculation into manageable variables. This is probably my favorite moment of the episode, because when you’re sitting there, morning after the worst night of your life, everything is fucked - these are the exact variables that go into your equation. Do I really want to live? You ask yourself that, and because your life is in fucking shambles, you come up with the stupidest goddamn reasons to keep going. You wanna see the next seasons of Good Omens and Loki. You wanna eat your mom’s spaghetti again. Sometimes it’s nice when someone hugs you. It’s never the big things that save your life; it’s a bunch of the littlest things. The smallest comforts. The big things… they’re too unattainable. They’re too much to hope for, and they’re more than you could possibly deserve. What are the pros of living for Ed? Warmth, good food, orgasms. This is a stunningly accurate representation of the things that will keep you alive once you’ve hit rock bottom.

And then the cons: “I don’t think anyone is waiting for me.” This is why addiction is the better metaphor. There is no human experience more isolating than addiction. You are alone in more ways than you’ve ever been before. You have pushed away or pissed off everyone who ever cared about you. And even the ones who will maybe still be there for you - they can’t help you clean up the mess you’ve made. You have to do the work alone, even if they’re still willing to stand next to you. And this con… it’s the scariest one. Your list of little pros looks so pathetic next to the horror of being utterly fucking alone. Who is going to brave that for some stupid shit like Tom Hiddleston sexily flipping his hair back in that Loki way he does? Why should Ed carry on just because blankets are cozy and marmalade is pleasant?

This is where we get to the moment on the mountain, and what Stede represents. Hornigold tells Ed “You’re unlovable, and you’re afraid to do anything about it.” Ed could do two things about being unlovable: He could try to fix it, or he could end it all. Hornigold represents the worst part of Ed: his weaknesses and cowardice. And if Hornigold is in the driver’s seat, he’s going to end it all. He throws the rock off the cliff, and Ed gets dragged down into the water to drown. (Let’s also talk later about how often addiction is compared to drowning, and how nothing else in the show actually threatened Ed’s life - not Izzy with a gun, not all the rhino horn, not Jim’s cannonball - like drowning in his own mind.)

But then there’s Stede. Stede is how the pros win over that one big, horrifying con. Stede is hope. Stede is just a glimmer of hope. Hope is the most important thing you need in the morning-after rock bottom. As much as I enjoy the idea that it was love that saved Ed, I don’t think that’s a wholly faithful interpretation. Because Stede’s love for Ed doesn’t solve anything, doesn’t fix anything - it certainly doesn’t fix Ed. It cannot fix Ed. Hornigold just told Ed that he’s the one who has to “do something about it,” because Ed is the only one who can save himself. But even if Stede’s love for him in itself isn’t what saves Ed, Ed’s trust in Stede combined with that love gives him hope. Stede loves Ed, truly loves him, came back to him even though he knows Ed’s nature, knows his list of crimes, knows what he’s done to Stede’s friends and family. And maybe Ed can find in himself what he trusts Stede truly sees. It’s a “maybe,” not a certainty. But it’s hope. Someone loves him. Maybe he can love himself, too.

This Woman’s Work: I read this song as referring more appropriately to Ed’s relationship with himself, in no small part because Ed literally made himself the woman in the cake topper couple. All the things that should have been done, should have been said - they’re things Ed needs to do and say to himself. He’s got a little life and a lot of strength left. The journey has just begun.

I want to pop back quickly to a few other moments in The Innkeeper that resonated, starting with Stede and Izzy’s discussion about what happened to Ed: “He went mad. He was a wild dog.” Izzy describes Ed’s breakdown as if he was no longer the same person he once was; this is exactly what addiction does to a person. Ed hasn’t been himself; he’s been held hostage by his need for escape, and he’s become something else. Possessed, if you will.

Izzy: “You and me did this to him, and we can’t let the crew suffer any more for our mistakes.” I’m not writing an essay on Izzy (yet), but this is a very interesting perspective that says a lot about Izzy. Stede and Izzy both owe apologies to Ed, but they are not responsible for his actions. I predict we’re going to see this theme explored in later episodes as a part of Ed’s healing process and recovery. And also hopefully in Izzy’s growth.

Frenchie’s line that “We’ve been living second-to-second for a while now” is a callback to the impossible bird idea. Which, again, is just Chandelier x Sia. “I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes, keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.”

So what’s next? For me, it was learning to sit alone in a quiet room with my thoughts. It was apologizing to the ones I hurt, because even if I didn’t mean to hurt them - even if I was suffering also and worse - they still got hurt, and in the end it didn’t matter why. It was developing the habit of liking myself, and acting on whatever self-love and affection I could conjure up. And yes… it was new seasons of Good Omens and Loki, my mom’s spaghetti, and hugs.

So I think Ed has a lot of accountability, reflection, and breaking of old habits in his future… but also warmth, good food, and orgasms. And good for him. That’s the beauty of recovery: we get to come back.

#our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #ed teach #edward teach #blackbeard #ofmd kraken #gentlebeard #stede bonnet #izzy hands #ed teach meta #ofmd meta #ofmd analysis #taika waititi #david jenkins #recovery #ofmd predictions #ofmd season 2 #ed x stede #blackbonnet

[swaps55]

Okay, but if I ask *nicely* will you yell about how Shadowfax can't do lead changes? :D

MY TIME HAS COME.

Ok. So. When horses are moving at a canter or a gallop, they have ‘leads.’ As in, one front foot and one hind foot is always ‘leading’ the opposite foot. Generally, when they are tracking to the right, they will lead with their right foot, and when tracking left, they’ll lead with their left foot. Turning is smoother when the lead foot matches the direction you’re turning.

Horses can change leads while moving at speed. It works a lot like a skip, only they have to skip the front and the hind end. Changing leads is something horses do naturally, but they can also learn to do it on cue. The trick is getting them to change both the front and the hind in the same stride. If they don’t – and what usually happens is they change the front end but take another step or two to change the hind – their movement gets really choppy because their front and hind ends are on different leads. This can cause you problems when jumping a course, for instance, when you sometimes have to change directions quickly.

Here's a video that demonstrates it:

SO. Imagine my horse-obsessed ass sitting the theater at the midnight showing of The Two Towers, eyes peeled for Shadowfax, because the Lord of Horses was going to be in front of my eyeballs AT LAST, and if Asfaloth in Fellowship of the Ring was not the Lord of Horses, then holy fuck I can’t wait to see who IS.

...

Before I continue, let’s talk about the Flight to the Ford.

This is one of my favorite sequences in film, and it’s largely because Asfaloth is such a badass. Watch this horse’s feet throughout this sequence. This horse is carrying two fully costumed riders (I can’t remember if they had Kiran – Elijah Wood’s stunt double – actually in the saddle for those scenes, but even if they didn’t, they had something bumping along up there) while moving at high speeds, turning, and jumping.

WATCH THIS HORSE’S FEET.

The way this horse moves, the way he changes leads is incredible to watch.

(Side note: the horse’s name is Florian, and his stunt rider, Jane Abbot, adored him and was devastated that she couldn’t afford to buy him when filming ended. Viggo Mortenson bought him for her, and when I looked, she still had him at age 29.)   

[gently takes your face in my hands] WATCH THAT VIDEO AGAIN.

I believe without question that Florian was indeed Asfaloth, Glorfindel/Arwen’s steed.

Hang on, I’m gonna go watch it again.

…

Ok. I’m better now. I’m fine. I’m not totally overwhelmed by how much I love Asfaloth and how quickly I would sell my soul to sit on that horse’s back.

Now let’s talk about Shadowfax.  

One of the Mearas. Lord of Horses. Who should definitely be able to do a really elegant lead change, because of the whole Lord of Horses thing.

As Shadowfax is running down the hill towards Gandalf, he’s on his left lead. Since he’s about to bend right towards Gandalf, he switches to his right.

In the front.

It takes him another step and a half or so to get the hind end to follow suit.

Is that totally normal for a horse, especially one with no rider? Sure.

BUT THIS IS SHADOWFAX, LORD OF FUCKING HORSES.

ASFALOTH IS OUT THERE DODGING RINGWRAITHS WITH TWO PEOPLE ON HIS BACK AND SWITCHING LEADS ON THE FLY LIKE IT AIN’T NO THANG AND THIS ‘LORD OF HORSES’ CAN’T EVEN HANDLE A HILL.

This was your BIG INTRO, man. There was inspirational music. The rapt attention of Aragorn, Legolas, and fucking Gandalf, and he flubbed the lead change.

SHADOWFAX: LORD OF LAZY LEAD CHANGES.

It’s been over 20 years and I am still not over it. Asfaloth was better, fight me.

#swaps replies #scribblesandknots #lotr #lord of the rings #shadowfax #the two towers #flight to the ford #asfaloth #urrone has had to listen to me go off about this in person several times for over 20 years now #she was the first to hear me yell about this ahahaha

[captain-mj]

Vampire Part 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Content Warning: Implied delusions?? It used to be true but not anymore and that upset Ghost

Soap got to work immediately on Ghost’s new mask. He needed something that would cover the majority of his face while also not bothering his new ears. 

Ghost was lounging on the couch, giant body on display. 

Soap had to bite his lip and look back at the mask that he was working on. Images of those teeth and that mouth around his… 

Anyway. 

His throat hadn’t quite healed. The bruising had faded but there were two holes in his neck that looked like they might scar despite how gentle Ghost had been. His hips had also not healed. They still ached from how hard Ghost had gripped him when he messed up and said the lord’s name. The way Ghost’s nails had sank into him so deep. It had definitely awoken things in him. Now all he could think about was how nice it would be to have those nails holding him down. Sinking into his flesh again. Ghost’s mouth had been cold. Incredibly soft and cold. 

Ghost hummed. “Johnny. How is my mask coming along? I am tired of this.” 

Soap hated this. He didn’t want Ghost to cover his face again. If he could, he’d draw him right now. Take his immense beauty and get it on paper. He wished he could take photos but he knew Ghost, or… Simon… It was such a trip knowing that name, but he would just disappear. Like mirrors, they couldn’t appear in photos. Which was devastating. He wanted so many pictures of them. But he supposed unlike humans, Ghost would never change. He’d always remain the same. No need for something as silly and sentimental as photos. 

“Soap.” Ghost snapped at him. 

“Oh! Sorry, sir. Yeah, it’s coming along.” He held up the mask for him to look at. Like his old one, it had a skull design on it. It would fit more like a medical mask rather than a balaclava but it was the only design Soap could think of that would work. 

Ghost nodded. “I’ll need you to get more bleach. I want to keep my hair blond.”

Soap paused. “I’m sorry. You get your ears. Rip your mask. Get so distraught you don’t eat. But you had time to bleach your hair?”

“Yeah, exactly.” Ghost nodded like that was okay. 

Soap just shook his head, unbelievable. 

“Johnny, I’d like to talk about yesterday.”

“Yes! I’d also like to talk about yesterday.” Johnny turned around to face him. “I have so many questions. Was my blood really that good?” 

Ghost frowned. “I meant you killing someone.” 

Soap got a bit pale. “Thought we were just going to not talk about it.” 

“Who were they?”

“Don’t know. It was on accident. I thought they’d stop at the sunlight not… Not…” 

Ghost nodded. “Good. Senile. If you’re being forced to tell the truth, you can say they ran out into the sun. If there’s any more details, don’t say them. And don’t tell me.” 

Soap nodded. “Understood, sir. Thank you…” 

“Yeah. It’s alright.” He reached over and grabbed his hair, pulling him over. His hand was so big. It made Soap feel very, very small. “And yes. You did taste good.” 

Those intense, dark eyes stared right through him like he was made of glass. Soap should’ve kept his mouth shut. Should’ve just kept it moving. Let the blissful thing that was Ghost’s attention wash over him. 

He did no such thing. Instead, stupidly, he asked a question. 

“What are you going to do about Price?”

Ghost could hardly be described as a fragile person, but Soap watched something snap. His mouth twisted up into a snarl and he tried so hard to seem angry. 

He didn’t though. 

No, Simon just looked heartbreakingly sad. 

“The only reason I don’t tear him limb from limb is because I can’t.”

Soap swallowed. “Is he why you haven’t turned me yet?”

“I just… want to make sure this is something you really, really want. I want it to be special. For you to have a choice.”

Soap nodded and they kept eye contact. It made Ghost speak again. 

“Price was my commander. He talked to me like I was an equal. Discussed plans with me.” 

Soap squeezed his wrist and he felt him tighten the grip in his hair. It started to hurt but he didn’t want to interrupt. 

“I thought he was attractive. The fangs. The way his eyes glowed. I was swayed. An idiot. A stupid fucking human. Walking into the jaws of something I couldn’t understand. I need to make sure that doesn’t happen to you. That when I sink my teeth right here.” He tapped his gloved fingers onto his jugular. “And claim you as mine for eternity. Make myself your sire. That it’s something you’ll never regret.”

Soap wanted him to continue. To keeping talking in that accent that was both ancient and so modern. 

When it was clear that Ghost would not continue, Soap spoke up. “I do. I want this. Want… Want…” You. Want you. He could say it. Nice and easy.

Rodolfo burst through the doors. Ghost released him and he fell. “Rudy. Something wrong.”

“None at all. Just wanted to check on you. Rough few days.” He reached over and ruffled Ghost’s hair. Soap felt green with envy. The way they interacted so easily. He wanted to run his fingers through his hair. Kiss his temples. Feel his cold mouth on his body again. 

Soap looked away. He reached up and grabbed his necklace, toying with it. His old one had been snapped and unusable, so he got a new one. Protection. 

Sometimes, he didn’t want to be protected. But the little cross stayed around his throat all the same. 

Ghost stood up. “I am going outside to the backyard. Tell me if you finish the mask.” He disappeared in a wave of smoke. 

Rudy looked down at Soap, still on the floor and hummed. “Feel better now that you’ve finally been bit?”

“Surprisingly? Yeah, a little.”

“Good. Happy familiar, happy home.” Rudy seemed to have something they wanted to say. His nails, not quite as sharp as Price and Ghost’s but that was due to age and age alone, picked at his pants. He turned abruptly to leave before swiveling back around. 

Soap waited. It worked with Ghost, so why not.

Rudy took a deep breath. “I think you’re… a good… person.”

Soap almost choked. Was this a compliment? Was he being complimented right now?

“You’re nice. Good.” Rodolfo patted him on the head. “What you did, even if it was stupid, was the right thing to do.”

Soap nodded blankly. They were being nice. 

Too nice. 

“Are you guys going to kill me?”

Rodolfo laughed. “No. We’re not going to kill you. Just relax.” He smiled at him. 

Soap’s heart didn’t slow down.

Ghost came back in eventually. “Price managed to seduce our neighbor and I swear if he eats that guy.” He shoved everything off Soap’s bed to sit on it. 

Soap should’ve reprimanded him, Ghost would probably listen, but he found it endearing. He was sketching. Luckily not Ghost. Just some random portraits. But this did give him a perfect opportunity.

“Ghost, sir.”

“Yes?”

“Can I draw you?” 

Ghost paused at that and looked at him. He weighed his options. “I suppose it has been a long time since I’ve seen what I look like…”

“Exactly. May be good to remember, yeah?”

Ghost tapped his fingers against the wood. “I think my last portraits were made at my wedding.” 

Soap had long since learned that Ghost had married a few times over the years, most of his spouses nothing more than political alliances or were ways to cover up what he was. Both admissions were said with so much guilt when Ghost had drank too much drugged blood that Soap felt inclined to believe him. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Price had an artist paint us consummating in a graveyard.”

“Did you… actually consummate… in a graveyard?”

“Yes. I wore the mask though.” 

Soap laughed a little. “Really? Mask on, fucking in a graveyard?”

“Yes. It was fun. I think that was the last time I get married actually. Didn’t mean much, just a little bit of fun.” He tilted his head back, exposing more of his jaw and throat. It made Soap feel funny things in the pit of his stomach. 

Soap focused on getting him on paper. He had the excuse and the permission to stare at him until he gets his fill. He wants to gulp Ghost down until he can only taste him in his mouth. A bitter aftertaste coffee couldn’t mask. 

Instead, he draws him. He makes two portraits. One he can keep, one for Ghost. He’ll pretend the first one had something wrong with it if Ghost sees it. That way he can have it. He could color it later. Make it as close to real life as possible. 

Maybe it was a tad obsessive, but Soap had always liked his things to be his and his only. Ghost couldn’t be one of his things but the portrait could be. All his. 

He spent the rest of the night and a good bit of the morning like this. Ghost taking up his bed, perfectly still. At one point, Soap was pretty sure he had dozed off, eyes closed and no sign of life in him. 

Soap finished the portrait and as soon as his pencil stopped scratching the page, Ghost opened his eyes and held out his hand. He painstakingly ripped out the page for him and handed it to him. 

“You left out my scarring.”

Soap tilted his head. “What?”

“My scars. The…” Ghost made a motion around his mouth to mimic a blade cutting his mouth. It made him think of the Joker weirdly enough. 

“What scars?”

Ghost looked hurt. “That’s not very funny, Soap.”

Soap didn’t understand, but Ghost seemed so upset it made him want to fix it. “I drew you exactly as you are. I didn’t change any details.”

“Yes, you did. You got rid of my scars. I understand if you don’t like them, but you could just admit it.” Ghost hissed at him. Clearly this was hitting some nerve that Soap couldn’t begin to understand. 

“Ghost. You don’t have any scars.” 

Simon swallowed so hard it made an audible click in his throat. “It’s the whole reason I cover up.”

Soap wasn’t sure if vampirism cured scars, but despite their lifestyles, none of the vampires had any, so it made sense. Maybe they just didn’t notice?

Ghost got up and went looking for Alejandro, Soap trailing behind him. He held the portrait up to Alejandro.

“I look like this?”

“Your hair is a little fluffier, but yeah. That’s how you look.” 

Soap thought Ghost was going to have a meltdown. 

“I look like this? Exactly like this? I have no scars?”

“No? As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been scarred up.” Alejandro looked confused. 

Simon started to scratch at his arm, clearly going through a lot right now. 

Soap made a decision right then and there. He was going to keep Ghost from having to deal with anything else for a bit. It wouldn’t be too hard to convince him to just relax at home for a little while. Just as long as no one brought any more news. 

Price burst into the room. 

“Guys. I’m getting married!!”

#captain john price #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty #johnny soap mactavish #soapghost #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare ii #Vampire Au #rodolfo parra

[valsarchives]

as it was - t.c (part 3)

requested. sorry for grammar mistakes!

face claim: lily-rose depp

part 1 | part 2

yourusername

liked by tchalamet, jacobelordi, aron.piper and 13,482,173 others

yourusername me and jimmyfallon might have a surprise for you tonight 👀

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“You’re still reading the comments?” Timothèe asked. His arms wrapped around you from behind, his head resting on your shoulder.

“Yeah. It’s good to see them after all this chaos.”

He sighed. “Y/n-”

“Hey. I know what you’re gonna say. Don’t.”

“But-”

“Look,” you turned around to see his beautiful face. “I never blamed you for this. So stop feeling bad. It’s over now, I barely get any negative comments.”

He looked at you for a long time before kissing you. “Alright, mon coeur.”

“We should get going tho. We’re gonna be late.”

He smiled. “Yeah, you’re right.”

fallontonight

liked by zendaya, florencepugh, tayrussell and 8,284,295 others

fallontonight Timothèe Chalamet is here with us again! We asked him all the questions you guys might want to know 👀 Tonight on NBC!

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ynmyqueen I love how we thought Y/n will go to the show because of her post but Timmy attended instead

timmytimmy he looks so happy 🥹

yourusername love that smile

tchalamet ♥️

ynmybaby I hope you asked about all this happed for past few months Jimmy

timotheefan452 🥺🥺🥺

timmytim I’m so excited!

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“So Timothèe, you don’t have to answer this if you feel uncomfortable but your fans are wondering about your relationship with Y/n L/n. Anything you want to share?”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah. You all probably know most parts we- mostly she had to deal with a lot of things. It was hard for both of us. I felt so devastated because she didn’t deserve to hear those horrible things they’ve said about her.”

“What did you guys do after the break up?”

“Well, I worked harder in order to keep myself busy. I don’t even know how could I stand being without her. I take a break from social media but I saw her posts. About herself, about her new film, about her life. I was so proud of her because she was so strong but I felt so bad because I couldn’t be there with her. The moment I watched her interview with vogue I knew I had to talk to her. I’m so glad she accepted it and here we are.”

“I’m so happy for you guys. I hope you two will never have to go through something like this again.”

“Me too. Thanks,” he smiled.

tchalametupdates

1,483,374 likes

tchalametupdates Timothèe Chalamet talks about how him and his girlfriend Y/n L/n met.

“I was fan of her works. She was literally my celebrity crush but I had zero hope for meeting her. […] I was working hard and I needed some time for myself. I went to Coachella with my friends and that’s where we first met. I think I used all of my luck in there.”

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ynandtimmy I love the way he smiles and giggles everytime he talks about Y/n.

timotea0 “Can you describe her with three words?”

“Oh no three words won’t be enough.”

“Come on try it!”

“Ok.. Strong, Caring.. and… this is gonna be so cheesy but Home.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

chalafan That was my favorite part 🤧

ynmybaby plss he is so in love with her I’m jealous

ynsbabygirl God I feel so single

timmytimmy I want what they have 😩

kissmeyn I need someone to love me the way Timothèe loves Y/n

timotheefan194 God, it’s me again…

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yourusername’s story

#timothee chalamet social media au #timothee chamalet #x reader #instagram au #timothee chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet x reader #timothée chamalet #celebrity reader #timothee x reader #timothee x y/n #timothée chalamet x y/n #timothee x you #timothee chalamet #timothee chalamet imagine

[nexility-sims]

𝐍𝐎. 𝟗 (𝟐/𝟐)   ❛ 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐲𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐦𝐚 ❜   |   NAKAWE PALACE, DEC. 1990

❧  𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  /  𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭.

❛ Leonor had been a silent observer of her parents’ marriage for as long as she could remember. Endlessly, like an infinite spool, it unraveled. That was how she understood it: her mother spun, but she never reached an end. Leonor hadn't wanted to cast her father as a villain, but she knew his fingers were the ones tugging and yanking and pulling the thread. Those parental arguments were integral to the soundscape of her childhood. She could close her eyes and hear their voices still locked in a discordant, overlapping loop—muffled, underwater. Of course, sometimes they did argue in the open. They all behaved in a choreographed fashion when that happened. The children shrunk and quieted; the parents grew loud and frenetic. The setting didn’t matter. Her parents could fight over breakfast, in the gardens, in cars and planes, on the telephone, as they arrived at events or departed them. They bickered in public on rare occasions. On the most infamous of such occasions, they shouted, shoved, slapped.

𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞𝐝 & 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭 ↓

❧ can you believe it ????? that's a wrap on episode one !!!!! come sunday, we're moving on to episode two .... of twenty, lmao. sure this is very unfortunate and sad but i think it's also very fun and cool that leonor broke up with her boyfriend in this room then had a romantic evening with her other boyfriend in this room many years later

The causes for arguments varied, but Leonor suspected an underlying flaw: they were meant to be apart but couldn’t escape each other. Her mother had ritualized throwing away her ring. She would rip it from her finger and send it clattering. A new fight began, invariably, because she made a show of it. Still, it would come back. ‘ It’s a piece of you, ’ Rodrigo would say, somehow earnest in his self-satisfaction. ‘ It has a piece of your spirit. It will return to you like your animal. ’ Safya had not been a true believer all of the time, but that resonated with her as it did with Leonor, ever an eavesdropper. Marriage was sacred and, anyway, they shared blood. Safya’s spirit was in the ring she wore, and it would—like any animistic entity, a dog or a monkey or a vulture—find her wherever she went. And, even if the ring lost its power, their children never would.

Her father accepted desultory ​​exiles away from the estate when the ring went away and yet, within a fortnight, with the children who bore their blood as witnesses, it returned. They reconciled. Her mother had her own saying during those reunions: ' I loved you once. I'll love you again. I'll always love you. '

On the night Safya died, Rodrigo called his daughter on a police telephone. He wept as he spoke. Leonor would have demanded to come to the marina, but he asked it of her first. It was his devastation that greeted her upon arrival. Standing in the doorway of the car, he shielded her from the flashbulbs. They walked with arms interlocked toward the silent crowd at the harbor’s edge. At the time, Leonor had been in a daze as she heard his voice in her ear. It occurred to her later that he had been murmuring, broken and desperate, ‘ I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Nora. I’m sorry. I’m sorry— ’

TRANSCRIPT:

[L] There you are.

[A] I came as fast as I could.

[L] I want to talk, but I’m not sure what to say. [A] Nerves? We don’t have to talk.

[L] No, we do. Before the funeral. [A] Sure.

[L] I’m grateful for you. Really, I am. You’ve been so kind.

[A] You don’t have to thank me. I love you. [L] Don’t tell me that. [A] What? It’s true. I— [L] Can I continue?

[L] Last night, this morning, whenever it was, I was thinking about my parents—about what I would have changed in mama’s life.

[L] Please don’t.

[L] Thinking about them made me think about us. I decided that I don’t want there to be an “us” anymore. [A] I don’t understand. What does that mean?

[L] We have to break up. I need to be alone. [A] What? Why? [L] Please don’t make me repeat it. [A] Leonor, this doesn’t make any— [L] {tearfully} Please.

[A] Okay. [L] You’ll go? [A] I won’t argue with you. Certainly not today.

[A] And, I won’t attend. If you want to talk later— [L] I don’t think I will, but thank you. [A] I’ll pray for you. For her.

{Footsteps receding}

{Leonor sobs}

#ts4 story #sims story #sims 4 story #ts4 royalty #sims 4 royalty #ts4 royal legacy #ts4 royal family #royal sims #simblr #ts4 legacy #1992.story.post #1992.a1 #1992.ep01

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Best of QL 2023: Favorite Lines

Okay well, I was going to spare everyone (and myself) from having to choose between all the pre-2023 shows I binged this year, but @twig-tea wanted more pain and suffering so here it goes:

Top Five Pre-2023 Lines that Lived Rent-Free In My Brain This Year:

"I don't want to see him sad." -Oh'Aew, I Told Sunset About You, Ep. 5

Okay so you see, my real problem here is that my favorite parts of ITSAY, the things that stay in my head rent free. No. The things I pay to stay in my head because I love them so much are the things that happen in the silence. Beginning of Ep 3, end of Ep 3, the kiss in Ep 4, the wrestling at the end of Ep 2. Those aspects, those moments are what absolutely destroyed me with this show. But I am gonna be real with you all, when Bas let Oh go like that? I wept. And I do love what it says about Oh that despite how much he has been hurt by Teh, he loves Teh enough to know how utterly devasted Teh is right now, and he cannot bear the pain of seeing someone he loves so hurt. Especially when he and Teh haven't spoken since Teh gave up his seat.

"You're tired, aren't you?" -Mork, My Ride, Ep. 5

If you saw my Favorite Lines 2023 post you would notice that this line is very very similar to my favorite line in Moonlight Chicken. And that is because loving and caring for people is super fucking exhausting. Meeting the world with kindness and grace and radical empathy in the face of horrible things, in the face of people who think you are weak for your kindness, or who seek to take advantage of it is fucking exhausting. And it is honestly quite rare that I see kind characters being asked this question, so I always go feral when they do because it is such a testament to love to say 'i see you' but to grant people enough space and autonomy to decide how honest and vulnerable they are going to let themselves be. I was talking with @ginnymoonbeam about this line a little so I am going to steal a line from her: "have you eaten" = I love and care for you

"are you tired" = I see how much you love and care for me/others

Of course the fact that Tawan absolutely just melts in to a puddle of tears because yes, yes he is tired, so so fucking tired does absolutely nothing to help me stop thinking about this scene. I love my boys!

"Because you raised me this way, that's why I'm not like other kids" || "I had to hate Pran, to compete against him, because of you? That's the reason? -Pran || Pat, Bad Buddy, Ep. 10

I cheated here. I do not care. These lines come almost one right after another and are just the same level of one-two gut punch that makes Bad Buddy so fucking incredible. Pat and Pran have been through so much because their parents were trying to save face. All the pain they have suffered, the lies they've had to tell, the caution, the fear, the secrecy in their relationship. How long Pran has had to keep his feelings for Pat at bay, how much Pat is sacrificing to let Pran maintain a good relationship with his mother, is all because their parents have decades old beef. There are so many good lines in this show, if I were to pick another one it would be "do you want to be friends?" "no" from Episode 5, but I feel like no lines sum up the conflict of Bad Buddy better than Pran and Pat confronting their parents.

"You must be disappointed in me." -Wang, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Ep 7

Ok so I lied about this one, the line that absolutely stays in my head rent free is the line "Mom." Wang sobs after his fight with In in Episode 8 but I had a legitimate 30 minute melt-down over that singular line and moment so I am picking one of the next most painful lines for me. And if it wasn't this it would be the entirety of the 52 Hertz Whale monologue that In gives in Episode 3 because that is the saddest gayest monologue for the saddest gayest man. And if it wasn't those it would be the boy in boarding school monologue Wang gives in Episode 5. Honestly this entire script, and this entire show is with me always.

BUT what absolutely kills me about this line in particular is that Swasimol tries to shake her head no, and can't bring herself to lie, and Wang watches his mother nod in confirmation that she is disappointed in him when he tells her he is in love with In. And that's the part that is truly crushing.

"I know you're hurting," -Shiro, What Did You Eat Yesterday?

GOD. THEY MAKE ME SO. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Honestly a huge fuck you to @bengiyo for introducing this show to me, this brain rot is 1000% his fault.

There is something just so fascinating to me about Kenji and Shiro's dynamic especially around how they handle and navigate their queerness. Kenji is loud and out and proud and while we don't know if there was time his mother had to work up to it, we know that Kenji's mother is pretty accepting of Kenji being gay. But Shiro didn't have that same experience, and he is quiet, and struggling with internalized homophobia, and decently rooted in the closet. And I think when you have a character like Kenji who rarely seems to take the insults and the jabs to heart, who is just the human embodiment of sunshine you can forget that Kenji is human, and Kenji uses his sunshine as armor the way that Shiro uses his silence.

Shiro never says I love you to Kenji, in the first season he rarely engaged in any level of physical affection, and kept a distance from Kenji if they were walking together in public. But Shiro loves Kenji so goddamn much, so so fucking much, and while he can't bring himself to say the words it is in moments like this one, where Shiro knows despite the fact that Kenji hasn't given any indication, that Kenji is hurt by the fact that Shiro's mother rescinded his New Year's invitation.

Shiro and Kenji mean everything to me.

If anyone is curious about any other favorites (shows, cinematography, pain, etc) from this year, feel free to drop an ask!

#i told sunset about you #bad buddy #bad buddy series #180 degree #180 degree longitude passes through us #what did you eat yesterday? #kinou nani tabeta? #my ride the series #best of ql 2023

[munson-blurbs]

Saw your requests were open and just had an idea where Eddie survived the bat attack in s4 and is self conscious of the scars they left behind? Can be smut or fluff or fluffy smut I don’t mind :)

One fluffy fix-it fic, coming right up!

Warnings: so much fluff, so much angst, mentions of sex/nudity but no explicit details, descriptions of Demobat attack and scars, mentions of hating one's body

WC: 2.2k

A/N: Thank you for requesting this <3 I am so partial to Eddie's vulnerability, and this was really cathartic for me to write.

--

"Hey, Steve?" you turn to your friend and co-worker, who is busy checking out a group of 20-something women who just walked into Family Video. "Steve!" you call a little louder, finally getting his attention.

"Huh-what?" he looks over, flustered.

"Hi. Could you stop drooling over those college girls long enough to help me with something?" you tease, but your question is actually serious, something you need to confide in him.

Steve gives you the middle finger but rests his elbows on the counter and leans in. "Sure, fine."

"So you know how you and Robin set me up with Eddie over the summer?" you start, fiddling with your vest. You always play with your clothes when you're nervous.

"Uh-huh," he nods. "And as I recall, it was a great job on our part, because you two have been inseparable ever since." He laughs. "I call best man at the wedding, by the way."

You look down at the ground, tears welling in your eyes. "Steve, I...I don't think there's gonna be a wedding." you confess quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

"Y/N, what's going on? Are you...are you breaking up with him?" Steve looks heartbroken, almost as if you're breaking up with him and not his buddy.

"I think I have to. He's not interested in me anymore, but he won't pull the plug on it. It just keeps dragging on."

Steve wrinkles his nose and furrows his brows. He can't ask his follow-up questions because Robin bursts through the door, ten minutes late for her shift.

"Sorry, sorry, Vickie and I fell asleep and I thought I set an alarm..." she trails off after seeing the puzzled look on Steve's face and the devastated look on yours. "Who died?"

"Y/N and Eddie's relationship," Steve reports sadly as you elbow him.

"What?" Robin screeches, attracting the attention of the customers. She's unbothered by this as she continues, "why did you break up?"

"We didn't break up yet," you say as you glare at Steve, "but I can't stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's not fair to either of us."

"Is this a joke?" Robin asks you, then asks Steve: "Is she joking? She has to be joking."

Steve shrugs. "Seems pretty serious to me."

"Y/N, why on God's green Earth would you think that Munson isn't into you?" Robin's eyes keep shifting from you to Steve. "The man never shuts up about how much he loves you, how he 'found the one.' Honestly, it's kinda nauseating."

"Because..." you start, then drop your voice to a whisper, "we've been together for six months and we haven't done anything more than kiss. Fully clothed." You're so embarrassed to admit it. While most 20-year-old guys would be frothing at the mouth to sleep with their partner, or at the very least see them naked, Eddie would always pull the plug on make-out sessions once things got really heated.

Steve and Robin share a knowing look but say nothing.

"What?" you ask, desperate to be in on their secret. "What do you two know that I don't?"

Robin sighs. "Look, I'm the first person to tell girls to dump a loser boyfriend. But Eddie...his situation is more complex than that." She places a comforting hand atop yours. "Just talk to him before you end things, okay? Give him a chance to explain."

"Okay," you agree numbly, although you're not sure if you want an explanation about why your boyfriend is apparently repulsed by you.

~

After work, you drive to Eddie's trailer. He knows your work schedule and is already waiting outside, shivering in the cold December air.

"Eddie, what are you doing? It's freezing!" you call out as you turn off your car. The sound of your voice immediately puts a smile on his face.

"Waitin' for my girl to come warm me up," he walks over to your old truck to help you out, extending a hand as you hop out of the driver's seat. You take it, and as soon as your feet touch the ground, he pulls you in for a kiss. You're hesitant to return it, very aware of the impending conversation you need to have, and he senses your resistance.

"No kiss?" he asks, pouting his lips. He's so cute that it may kill you. You may literally die of Eddie Munson Sweetness Overload.

"Hey, um, Eds, can we talk inside?" you give his hand a quick squeeze. He stands frozen for a moment but then nods.

"Uh, sure. You're kinda scaring me, though." He shuffles ahead of you to open the door.

"Thanks." Your voice is barely audible. You make a beeline for the couch and pat the spot next to you. Eddie sits and takes your hands in his.

"Eddie, I need you to be honest with me. I'm tough; I can take it," you crack a small smile, trying to be brave when you actually feel like sobbing. "Do you want to be with me?"

Your boyfriend's eyes widen. "Of-of course, baby. Why would you think that I don't? I practically worship the ground you walk on. Just ask Steve and Robin!"

"Then h-how come," your voice breaks and you try to blink back tears, "how come you keep pushing me away when I try to take things farther? I don't want to pressure you, and I respect if you're not ready, but..." You feel a tear slide down your cheek and you get frustrated with your own emotions. "It's okay if you're not attracted to me," you finish quietly.

"Oh. Oh, sweetheart," he pulls you in for a tight hug, as close as he can get while sitting on a sofa. "Baby, that's not it at all. You are the most beautiful, sexy, incredibly gorgeous woman I've ever met." He rubs his eyes and you can practically see him overthinking. "Come with me," he says and leads you into his room.

"Now you're scaring me," you muse but listen. He moves an empty box of Honeycomb cereal from his bed onto his already overflowing dresser and sits you down.

"What I'm about to tell you is going to sound...insane, at the very least. But you can ask Robin and Steve. Even Dustin, although he's never much of a reliable source anyway."

And then Eddie launches into a story about a place called the Upside Down, a pseudo-Hawkins that's overrun with monsters and controlled by someone called Vecna. Vecna, he explains, is the reason why Chrissy, Fred, and Patrick died, and why Max was in a coma.

"And-and you remember the Starcourt Mall fire?" He's sputtering now, as though he's unable to stop talking now that he's started. "That damage was actually caused by a creature called the Mind Flayer. And it was defeated by Mike Wheeler's telekinetic girlfriend and Henderson's super genius girlfriend." He goes on about the Hawkins Lab, Russian involvement, government cover-ups, the Will Byers case that got his little sheep involved in this mess. You take it all in, processing the information silently.

Finally, after you stay silent for longer than Eddie would like, you tell him the words he's needed to hear: "I believe you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. There's always been something weird about this town, all of the disappearances and deaths and fires. I have a lot of follow-up questions," you joke lightly. "But...Eddie, what does this have to do with us not having sex? Does Vecna spare virgins? Because I hate to break it to you, it's a little late for both of us if that's the case."

Eddie shakes his head, tousling his curly mop of hair. "No, that's not it. When I got wrapped up in this, I was so determined to be a hero. I didn't think I had it in me, but after I played Sweetheart in the Upside Down, I just got this...rush, you know? This overwhelming urge to avenge all these deaths, to protect my friends. To be the hero I was too afraid to be outside of Hellfire." He swallows the lump in his throat.

"After Henderson and I ran back to Hawkins--the real Hawkins--the Demobats followed us. They were gonna infiltrate, so I-I went back."

"You went back?" you ask incredulously.

He offers a tight smile. "Hard to believe, isn't it? The same guy who's scared to show you a little vulnerability was voluntarily fighting off a swarm of bats in an alternate dimension."

"What happened?" you whisper, too stunned to cry, though you feel the tears prickling.

"They attacked me. It was awful. The screeching, the bites that seemed to come from all directions, like they wouldn't stop until..." He's trembling and lets out a heaving sob. "Dustin and Steve dragged me out, got me to the hospital just in time. A few more minutes and I wouldn't be here."

"No," you say involuntarily, not wanting to picture a world without Eddie Munson. Your Eddie.

"And every time I see the scars, I just think about how ugly they are, how ugly I am. I promised myself that I'd never let anyone else see them. But when I went to visit Robin and Steve at Family Video and I saw you, so damn pretty even in that horrendous uniform." You can't help but giggle at the compliment. "Harrington was totally oblivious, but Robin noticed me staring at you right away and told me that I'd be a complete moron if I survived all of that and didn't even attempt to get your number."

"That's why you came to visit when they weren't working," you mused, mostly to yourself.

"Honestly, I figured we'd go out, you'd realize what a loser I am, and that would be it. I never thought..." he brings your hand to his lips, kissing it softly, "never thought that we'd love each other this much."

"Of course I love you, Eddie. I'll always love you," you reassure him. "And I'll keep loving you after you show me your scars."

"Okay. I'll show you. But I want to warn you, even though they're healing well, they're still..."

You interrupt him gently. "It's okay. I'm ready."

Eddie nods and stands up. He slowly lifts his shirt and grimaces slightly. You stifle a gasp. His torso is marred with grotesque bite marks, fading but still prominent. There are parts of his skin that look mismatched, and you realize that the Demobats took so much of him that he needed skin grafts. You hear a sniffle; he's crying harder, and you wipe the tears from his face.

"Can I touch them?" you whisper. "Or will it hurt too much?"

"Just be gentle," he concedes. You lightly run a finger over the pink ridges, in awe of his courage.

"Eddie, you're so beautiful," you say finally and allow yourself to cry alongside him. "How could you ever believe that I'd think otherwise?" You lean in and place soft, purposeful kisses all over his chest and stomach.

"You don't think they're disgusting?" He looks down, defeated. "Because I do. I hate them. Hate them so fucking much."

"I think..." you choose your words carefully. "If I could take away the pain you went through, the pain that led to these scars, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But the scars themselves? Never." You pull him back down so he's sitting next to you again. "They're part of you, and I love every part of you."

Eddie takes your face in his strong hands and kisses you until you're both forced to come up for air.

"I'm not really ready to take my shirt off for long periods of time. I don't even like to shower anymore because I don't want to see them. I just do it so I don't smell for you." He smiles through his tears.

"And I am so appreciative," you joke back. "We don't have to do anything involving undressing until you're ready, Eds. There's no pressure, okay?" You pause for a moment before asking, "But if your concern was with me seeing you, why did you always stop me when I tried to take off my shirt?"

Eddie bows his head bashfully. "I didn't want you to think I was just some douchebag trying to get you naked without ever, y'know, reciprocating."

"So what you're saying is that you're okay with me..."

"Sweetheart, I am more than okay with that," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to your lips. "I think about it more than one man should, honestly."

You pull your legs underneath you and snuggle into Eddie's chest. "Good to know." He looks at you amusedly and you clarify. "I'm being serious! I'm glad you like the way I look. I was worried that you didn't."

His arm snakes its way over your shoulder. "Never want you to feel like that again."

You hold out your pinky. "Promise me that we won't hide from each other anymore. When something upset us, about ourselves or about each other, we'll be honest about it."

Eddie smiles, a sight so beautiful that it takes your breath away. He wraps his pinky around yours.

"I promise."

--

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #eddie x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson stranger things #stranger things #fanfic #eddie munson fanfic #requests

[majimasleftasscheek]

Hi, im very sorry if this has already been answered or established somewhere else but im curious, with your Kazumaji stuff, around what time did they start dating (i.e. after the events of Yakuza 0 and all that) and how?

tbh, I dunno!

I don't really have an established date for that cuz sometimes I'm like man they'd be really cute during y0 and then other times I set it between post y0 and the beginning of y1. The latest they would start me thinks is some months after the events of y1 but in general it sorta depends on how I'm feeling and what silly scenarios play in my head

ideas under the cut tho 👀

if we're talking y0: I like to think Kiryu has to go to Sotenbori for some reason, be it business or he's there with Nishiki for some partying. he sees Majima at the Grand being depressed and is like "damn girl those bags under your eyes makes my dick go *boing sound effect*" and asks him out 🥺 Kiryu gets rejected immediately cuz Majima's in this cycle of 'I deserve nothing but pain and suffering' but Kiryu can't read the room so he is persistently showing up at the Grand despite Majima very obviously wanting to kick his ass. eventually he relents and goes on cute™ dates with Kiryu and realizes oof maybe human intimacy be kinda gucci

if between y0 and y1: Majima's fresh in his mad dog era starting shit with people just to be annoying and Kiryu's one of his targets mainly due to the events of y0. he's kinda like "lol this goober really did some important plot stuff, huh?" and his curiosity gets the better of him because Kiryu is an enigma who eats bugs and Majima cannot suppress his need to get some sense of understanding on this weirdo. in this timeline, it's more one-sided affection from Majima that comes in the form of stabbing while Kiryu is desperately trying to fight the gay allegations and failing. eventually he caves but it's a sorta unofficial, on and off thing that Kiryu doesn't really know how to evaluate for himself. Majima doesn't really care what they are since he's high on life atm and has a cute dude with big boobs on his arm

if during y1: literally just everything Majima Everywhere. Goromi. GOROMI 😩💦 Kiryu is all: I LIKE PUSSY but everyone's like okay big man then why's Majima pole dancing for you huh. the two braincells he has start to click and he realizes maybe Majima wants to hold hands or something unthinkable like that. ngl I like to think Kiryu's thing for Yumi is like a demisexual bi thing where he's like, I do love her but she don't zap my brain quite like the bowlcut freak who knows how to punch me real good and it becomes sorta his personal introspective journey during this time. Majima is also floating in the space of am I doing this for his benefit cuz "training" or am I falling for this dork. he's pretty sad about it cuz of the Saejima reminder vibes but eventually Kiryu falls into his own person that Majima really meshes with and the two of them struggle to actually voice how they feel all the while their pants are down in some dirty alley

if after y1: (going to insert shit from a fic I'm working on) Kiryu's absolutely devastated with what happened in the Millennium Tower + now having to take care of Haruka that he's shut himself off from everyone and everything other than doing the bare minimum to live. in comes Majima being a menace like yo you can't like, let a child parent herself you gotta get outta this slump and Kiryu's all fuck you stop breaking into my house. so it's a long pain in the ass process to help Kiryu deal with his grief while Majima keeps unintentionally making googoo eyes at him and both of them are like boy I sure hope this doesn't awaken anything within me. there's also a lotta dadjima stuff going on and Kiryu's like wowie zowie so you do have a heart and Majima's like no way loser while being just 😳👉👈

#apologies for the way I write sometimes I like to put out total garble because it makes my heart go thumpa thump #god I love them I LOVE THEM #THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER ON A LEVEL BEYOND THAT OF FLESH AND BLOOD AND IT HURTS KNOWING THEY DO #THAT THEY BOTH SUFFER AND THEY FEEL THAT IT'S BEST TO BE ALONE RATHER THAN BRING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE RIDE #BUT THAT RIDE BRINGS THEM BOTH TO THE SAME DESTINATION THAT THEY ARE BOTH BROKEN MEN HAUNTED BY THINGS THEY DID—THINGS THEY COULD HAVE DONE #BUT MAYBE THERE'S HOPE IN HAVING SOMEONE TO LIVE FOR—SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE STRUGGLE OF REDEMPTION DESPITE ONE'S NATURE #TO LIFT EACH OTHER FROM THE DEPTHS OF SELF LOATHING BECAUSE THEY CAN DO BETTER #then I'm tranquilized and shoved back into my cage for relocation #kazumaji #kiryu kazuma #majima goro #my hcs

[love-hatred-stuff]

solo [sequel shot]

》 alright so I know it's starts off rough but this is for those who needed a happy end for my fic "solo"

Enjoy my babiesss :3 ♡

"Come on. Please tell me what I did wrong and I'll fix it."

"I'm wrong, James! I was wrong and that isn't your fault. I just don't wanna hang out anymore." A few tears slipped past your eyelids. You were devastated and you knew this day would come. You knew one day he'll find someone that's better than you. Not as broken as you. More useful as a partner in a relationship and not someone who ruins fucking everything.

You were truly heartbroken. But you tried to be happy for him and you were actually. It stung nonetheless, seeing him with another girl that seems to be so put together, so emotionally available. Complete opposite of you and you guess that's why it hurt even more. Him picking someone who is the exact opposite personality type of yours, not to mention someone who looks completely different from what you looked like. It underlined your deepest fear, him actually prefering everything that doesn't represent you.

The thought that had held you together for the past years had suddenly lost its meaning, the thought that he loved you more than anyone else, his promise to be always available for you, vanished, broken. You tried to understand, but it was more than just hard to comprehend.

"But why won't you tell me the reason!?" Bucky was crushed when he heard from you that you can't see each other anymore privately, that he had to forget about you and your close friendship. Because what you didn't know, was that he still loved you, he never stopped. He had never found someone better than you because for him someone like that doesn't even exist. Bucky only ever wanted you to be his, the person he's been in love with for the past two years, the one that he can't help but feel the need to take care of.

"I can't just say 'yeah okay, I won't bother you anymore' to my best friend of so many years I've lost count! You're not just a friend to me, y/n. You're everything I have. You're the only person that truly knows me." James wiped his mouth in desperation. He couldn't loose you. He'd stop breathing.

"Yeah, clearly not." You mumbled under your breath.

"What was that?" He didn't quite catch that.

"James, you know how I am. I'm selfish, manipulative and stubborn. I can't look at your face anymore. Not while knowing you're thinking of someone else while looking a me."

Buckys eyes widened. Only now realising what was going on.

"Why would I do that? I only ever think of you. My brain doesn't even know what to think of otherwise. Would you mind to explain what or who got you thinking this way?" He k ow demanded further explanation.

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I'm gonna head home." Was the only answer you gave him, taking your bag, ready to leave him the fuck alone with his new girl.

"I think the fuck not." Bucky walked in front of you, blocking your way.

Now it was your turn to be surprised. He never talked to you like this. He barely cursed.

"I really should though, I don't wanna take away your quality time with someone else." It may have sounded childish but you meant it. You didn't wanna take away his chance to find and enjoy love. You've done that enough the past years.

"What are you even talking about? I don't have anyone else to spend my time with, are you kidding me?" He was endlessly confused.

This was the last straw, now you were getting angry. He should stop acting like he wasn't meeting up with this girl that he met at a party. You were fucking there when they introduced each other. And you were convinced he had already slept with her. Though you wouldn't blame him, as she really was gorgeous, not only that, but she seemed genuine, too. A real catch.

"Are you kidding me?! James, stop acting like there's nothing between Anna and you! I know there is, I have eyes, you know. Besides, Steve always tells me how much you talk, not only with her but also about her. And knowing that makes me sick! I want you to be happy, and if that happiness doesn't require me, I'm fine with that, but I don't wanna watch you fall in love with her! I just can't, okay? So my decision is to avoid you two so I don't have to look at it any fucking longer, or else I'll go insane!" That's it. That's all you had to say. It was more than you intended to but at least you've got it out.

Bucky just stood there, completely baffled, speechless. He couldn't believe it.

You've tried to shove him out of your way, but he didn't budge.

"If you aren't gonna say anything, can I leave?" You groaned, feeling vulnerable now that he knew your heart.

"So you are telling me, you're jealous of Anna? Of someone who'll always be more interested in you than me?" Your heart began to race.

"Are you implying that she isn't into guys?" You wanted to make sure, not quite getting his point.

Bucky nodded calmly.

"Yeah, she's into you though." He replied.

"Oh my God!" You scoffed, embarrassed by yourself, looking anywhere except his eyes.

"I really thought you liked her. I thought you two were hooking up. I'm so sorry for misinterpreting this, James."

"Quit with the 'James'. You were jealous, weren't you?" He nudged you.

"I guess I was." You nodded shyly.

"Does that mean that- that you like me?" His cheeks getting rosy, you looked up at him.

"Of course I like you, dork!" You laughed, but he sighed.

"No I mean; really like me. As in you're in love me?" Bucky was unsure and scared asking this, but it was time to make this confession.

You looked away, your smile turning into something more vulnerable.

"I don't know? I just want you to myself. I want you to only take care of me, no one else. You're only boy I would let sleep in my bed next to me. And over all I guess I wouldn't mind being more than just a friend to you."

Bucky gently stroked your tear stained cheek, looking lovingly into your eyes.

"You've always been more than a friend to me Y/n. If you let me, I would like to call you my girlfriend and not just my best friend. Because hell, I fucking am in love with you!" He leaned in and let his lips softly touch yours for the first time. It was even better than he imagined it to be.

You two kissed for the following ten minutes without having to take a break. When he carefully let go of your lips to breath, he leaned his forehead against you and sighed once again, this time in utter happiness.

"So what do you say? Will you finally be mine?" His voice sweet and so full of love, just like the kiss you had shared.

"I don't know, what did you say? Anna likes me, yeah?" You joked, giggling into his chest.

He laughed along with you.

"Don't you dare." Bucky smiled, giving you another kiss.

He knew he wouldn't ever be able to get enough of the girl he was now finally allowed to call his.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky moodboards

[raisedbythetv89]

I hate all of this “well he was Buffy’s first love!” talk when discussing how much pain and devastation Angel caused in Buffy’s life as if for women our first loves MUST be horrible and painful always???? As if it was unavoidable anyway so let’s not be too critical of him.

First off, HE LITERALLY WASNT EVEN HER FIRST LOVE

The show acknowledges what happens in the movie so canonically what happened in the movie happened to tv show Buffy INCLUDING HER RELATIONSHIP. ANGEL WAS NOT HER FIRST LOVE.

Angel was just the first guy who stalked and targeted Buffy when she was at her most vulnerable and continued to constantly lie and manipulate her for his own selfish gains only to toss her aside once she no longer served her original purpose while continuing to lead her on and show up in her life every time she tried to move on and THAT is why it was so painful!!!

STOP NORMALIZING THE PAIN CAUSED BY ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AS THE SAME THING AS REGULAR HEARTBREAK IN NORMAL RELATIONSHIPS.

I did not have a good childhood, my parents had a horrible divorce when I was 7 and I had never seen a healthy relationship modeled IN MY LIFE - AND YET - my first serious relationship when I was 16 while it definitely had it problems like all young love does (his friends didn’t like how much time he spent with me and his mom both hated me for “taking her son away” but also loved me because she wanted a daughter so badly but only had sons - she was insane lol and we were both teenagers who made stupid teenager mistakes) he was with me for 3 1/2 years and absolutely would have married me if that was what I had wanted.

He would sneak out to see me when I was sad despite his strict parents, always bought me lunch because I would eat what I was sent to school with by 10 AM because I was STARVING because I had an almond mom who never fed either of us enough. Would happily listen to me rant about the twilight books as I read them during that whole phase, WROTE ME A SONG for my birthday (he was actually a talented musician and works as a sound engineer and music producer now) and basically just spent every second he could either with me or talking to me when we were apart. He loved taking me on dates and writing me love notes and we just laughed all the time. He was my best friend as well as my boyfriend and ending that relationship because I had outgrown him was SO PAINFUL because he loved me so much and even during the break up - which I handled HORRIBLY - he was kind and even gave me the birthday present he had bought me because he wanted me to have it even though it was still months away. (I say all of this to try and just show first loves CAN be more than just pain and devastation and if it isn’t making you happy a minimum 80% of the time and you instead just feel sad and confused THAT IS NOT NORMAL AND YOU DESERVE BETTER 🩷)

I know good experiences are not the case for everyone when it comes to first relationships and that’s awful and is not fair because young love SHOULD be innocent and naive. Just two idiots in love who have no clue what they’re doing but just happy to be around each other no matter what they’re doing (like what willow got to experience with Oz in high school) and Angel robbed Buffy of those experiences. He broke her trust of other people and in love and her trust in HERSELF - that’s not her “first love” that’s her first abusive relationship and calling it “her first love” or worse “her soulmate” only serves the patriarchy and harms little girls everywhere who grow up not knowing to look for or expect better because everyone around them and society is telling them “your first experiences with love and sex will be awful and painful and there’s no escaping it” when that is just NOT TRUE at all, especially if you date someone age appropriate in high school. Angel is the first older “man” she dated and like all older men with high school girls do, he took advantage of that imbalance in power in literally every way possible and I will despise that whiney little bitch until the end of time for that and wish he would have just stayed trapped in that hell dimension until the end of time as it is what he deserves.

“True love” doesn’t require severe pain and tears for it to be deep or meaningful. Don’t believe the lies terrible men like jw and so many others feed us.

#fuck joss whedon #fuck the patriarchy #fuck misogyny #buffy summers girl you deserved better 🖤 #anti angel #anti bangel #spuffy #btvs meta