#crack humor
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Max: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Mike: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Lucas: Then you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, Mike, learn to listen.
El: What if it bites itself and I die?
Will : That’s voodoo.
Dustin: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Mike: That’s correlation, not causation.
El: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Will : That’s kinky.
Max: Oh my God.
#elmax#max mayfield#eleven hopper#elumax#lucas sinclair#lumax#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#henclair#dustin henderson#the party#stranger things#crack humor#elmike#platonic elmike#platonic madwheeler
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I cannot with any breath in my body not see Sasuke in douchebag-Ken. He is not Kenough. Making this was therapeutic, so glad to be back to making funny comics again 😂 Wish the resolution was better, but oh well. If you can think of better tags, let me know.
#naruto edit#naruto crossover#narutomeme#barbie movie#barbie edit#barbie meme#Barbie#Sakura Haruno#sasuke uchiha#sasuke ken#ken#kenough#humor#missjewelsart#Naruto#comic#naruto comic#crack#crack humor#Naruto Barbie
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Each side of the table was experiencing wildly different moments here 🤣
#critical role#critical role c3e67#crack humor#critical role screenshots#matthew mercer#travis willingham#sam riegel#marisha ray#ashley johnson#laura bailey#liam o'brien#talesin jaffe#critical role c3#bells hells
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#christopher plummer#the sound of music#the sound of music (1965)#text post#incorrect quotes#source: twitter#speech bubble#text meme#captain von trapp#tsom crack#The Sound of Music memes#The Sound of Music meme#The Sound of Music crack#crack humor#sea captain
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#crack humor#hws canada#hws america#na brothers#na twins#alfred f. jones#na bros#aph america#aph canada#hws na bros#Matthew Williams
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Unprompted things my friends and I have said. Pt. 1
A/N: None of these have context and to be honest bout half of these are from one person alone. Feel free to use any of these for dialogue or just random starters.
Most of these are 18+ so minors go away.
1. “Brian get your ass in the car, we’re horny”
2. “We are not starting a fucking cult”
3. “I’m not explaining to you parents why you passed away from beans”
4. “Did you just ask her if she wanted Asperger’s?”
“Fucking aspirin you whore.”
5. Walking back from the kitchen. “Who’s throwing bread?”
6. “I don’t have time to be drowned in cream.”
“I do.”
7. “I can’t hear you beyond ass clown.”
8. “I’m gonna hit you if you call cantaloupe outside it’s name again”
9. “You think monsters only come out at night? Wrong”
10. “So back on the topic of werewolves”
11. “He has free will but he will be punished for the choices he makes”
12. “I listen to 80’s rap but I know who SZA is”
13. “I hope you see Chewbacca. He’s furry”
14. -try’s to open a jar of mayo. can’t open jar goes to S/O
“Hey can you open the jar please”
-tries to open jar but are not successful
“Do I need to bang it”
-S/O proceeds to bang the jar’s lid on the corner of a cabinet breaking the lid in the process
“Jesus Christ” is now holding a broken jar lid and a full jar of mayo.
“I got it. I- I opened it” awkward proudness
“Babe….I love you but no.”
15. Turning up radio volume “Aw come on I wanted to hear about the manslaughter”
16. “Does your shirt say fuck daddy?”
17. “Open thine gate like you open thine’s legs”
18. “Give me your ass (give me thine ass)”
19. “Yeah you wanted to die last year”
“I did”
20. “Fuck Richard, your soda’s in the bathtub”
21. “I can’t cry myself so I sit in the shower and imagine they’re tears.” -finger guns-
22. “My ass isn’t that big”
23. “I was gonna go pee then I saw my face”
24. “How much furry porn have your watched Richard”
24. “You gotta come out sometime”
Pterodactyl screech
25. “Yeah you look like a senior. a senior citizen.”
26. Gremlin voice “give me your money”
27. “Why is it tingling?”
28. “I believe in you”
“I don’t”
29. “Oh my Christ on a stick you stupid bitch”
30. “I guess I could’ve gotten closer.”
31. “Ahhhh drive you whore”
32. “If you call me in the morning I will rip out your throat.”
33. -holds out hand for hand holding-
-gives a high five-
“Crisp”
34. Talking about a star wars gun keychain. “It goes pew pew not bang bang”
35. “Do we want to get fancy drunk or regular drunk”
36. “Jesus”
“You okay over there?”
“Yeah just felt the power of god come through my ass”
37. “I thought it was a furry turns out it was fanart about Markiplier.”
38. “Slap my ass and call me daddy…. Wait that’s not it” (love a brain merging sayings)
#crack humor#crack dialogues#lckoda writes#lckoda#writing prompts#bookblr#unprompted#dialouge#funny dialogue#friendship prompts#18+#writin prompts#prompts#writers block#tw triggers
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#febficaday2 - Day 22 (AUs)
Author: OptimisticDinosaur
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 7,636
Type: Canon Divergent AU
Summary: Things that are not covered in the absolutely USELESS parenting books that Sirius Black, recently freed from Azkaban and new guardian of Harry James Potter, bought in a recent panic:
- How to balance parenting and wooing the hot Dark Magic Exterminator from Lupin & Co that you hired to clear out your parents’ creepy townhouse
- How to convince your five-year-old that the basilisk, boggart and ghoul you planted in the house so said hot exterminator would have to keep coming back are not, in fact, his new best friends
- How to walk your child’s pet basilisk (when you inevitably fail).
Comments: Absolutely charming and incredibly fun! I really loved every aspect of this - the humor, the characters, Sirius pining so hard he fills his house with dark creatures, which little Harry then names and insists on keeping. It’s a wild, wonderful ride.
#wolfstar#fic#febficaday2#OptimisticDinosaur#magicau#au: canon divergent#teen#5to10k#relationship: get together#crack humor#raising harry#fluff#relationship: strangers to lovers#theme: parenthood#sirius: pining
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This was more funnier in my head. LMAO ;3;
#creative expression#bastardcore#calligraphy#tw cussing#cursive#cursed image#absurd#crack humor#blursed#cursed#LMAO#writing#Shitpost#absurdism#LOL#art#profanity#crude humor#funny#absurd art#absurd humor#ROFL#cursive writing#tumblr chaos
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I dedicate this joke to @neopolitansworld and @geckosquid, who were two of the main contributing factors to my involvement in the Pretty Cure Fandom. I’m not sorry for this bit of crack humor. If anything, I’m surprised that it hadn’t been made yet until I made it.
#pretty cure#happiness charge precure#international precure#international cures#merci precure#cure art#crack post#crack humor
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#Aftg#Andreil#all for the game#the foxhole court#Tfc#Andrew Minyard#Neil josten#Crack humor#Tiktok#Mine#Booktok#Nora sakavic#Humor
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Crack thought of 10pm.
If I gave Kyrii a raw king crab and said it was edible he’d eat that fucker raw. He’d crack it over his knee and eat it feral.
#you’re welcome for this thought#this thought brought to you by#stress headaches and pain.#I need to find whimsy in the small things#blame!#blame! manga#blame! killy#blame! anime#crack post#crack#crack headcanons#crack humor#jajaja#hahahajajajajajaja
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Reid Diggory 'Remembers'
Reid, about to get into a fight: Okay, Reid, don't panic. Be calm and remember what your mentors taught you...
(Memory of Instructor comes into Reid's mind)
Instructor: If you ever get into a fight, just remember-
(Memory is replaced by Lou in White Butterfly 'Outfit')
Lou: Feels like I'm wearing NOTHIN' AT ALL!
(Echoes) Nothin' at all!
(Echoes) Nothin' at all!!
Reid: AGH, STUPID SEXY WIFE!
#serpent and dove#gods and monsters#reid diggory#lou le blanc#lou x reid#the simpsons#headcanon#crack#why am i like this lmfao#crack humor
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Waking up call!
.....
Sasuke: Ya think, its gonna work out? ( Raises an eyebrow over the lazy Nara. Still uncertain.)
Shikamaru(Annoyed.): If it can wake up a dead woman, you mean? Heck yeah.(Took out his phone and started to dial up a number here, as he glared up at the raven guy who was confused about the idea..) Just watch the master, duckhead.
(Puts the phone over onto speaker.)
Shikamaru: Hear this woman, your mom has it with Jirraya--
PUNCH!
A loud punch was heard in the background and as someone fell down hard with a grunt. Or maybe it sounded like two guys that fell down along with what sounded like chair falling, over onto the floor, through Shikamaru’s ear. As he and Sasuke got startled up a bit by surprise.
Tenten(Yells up.): THE HECK WHAAAT?
Sasuke(Winces back at the sound when Shikamaru pushed his phone away with disgust at the sound.): Man, you were right. You woken her up hard.
Shikamaru(Clears up one ear with a finger, and sighed defeated.): Damn sure, I was..Man, I thought was gonna be deaf for a second.
Sasuke: Who fell?
Shikamaru(Looks back at Sasuke, with an annoyed frown.): Huh?
Sasuke(Points the phone.): Back over the phone, I pretty sure I heard someone getting punched and fell down when Tenten yelled up..(Turns back at the lazy Nara with as he made a weird face.) Lee?
Shikamaru( Shakes his head in denial.): Sorry to tell you this, but I don’t think there was only one person, here, but two.( Closes up his phone and puts it back into his used winter coat pocket.)
Sasuke: So, who was it?
Shikamaru(Admits.): It wasn’t only Lee, that she had punched but Neji as well..(Sighs) Yeah, I heard him and Lee whine for a bit. Sounded like they were dying for a second.
Sasuke(Dumbfounded for a second, but in shock..): Ohh..
Shikamaru(Shrugs in defeat.): Yeah, what a drag.
#shikamaru rocks#poor sasuke#tenten#neji and lee got punched#naruto#modern world#incorrect quotes#tenten is mad and scary#Crack humor#sitcom#naruto and friends#nejiten
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#ofmd edward teach#ofmd blackbeard#ofmd stede#the gentleman pirate#our flag means death#our flag means death meme#our flag means death crack#crack humor#ofmd crack#taika waititi#rhys darby#incorrect quotes#twitter quotes#source: twitter
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Weird.com 1
ratatouille with a gun is a movie I want to see him struggle to get out of the streets and have an existential crises mid-movie with an accurate depiction of what a breakdown for a rat would look like. I don’t want to watch ratatouille I want to watch ratatat
#Weird.com#crack humor#3 am thoughts#Weird girl#tumblr memes#relatable memes#just me???#Lack of sleep#remy the rat#ratatouille#numerous thoughts
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I find it difficult to" say if I was to put me in a room with all my fictional crushes" because I don't think a room will fit all of us
Maybe a whole convention center lol
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