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emmieblueeyes · 9 months

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Let me introduce you to my inner voice. She is one serious bitch! She's cruel, violent and she hates me.

At my worst moments of failure and personal recognition of lameness, she is there to cast a shadow over me. She tells me that I am disgusting. She tells me that I am a mistake. That I am ugly and that no one would miss me. She twists harmless comments made by the people in my life into cruel proof that if I was to die today, people would move on. She tells me I am a coward. She tells me everybody, especially me would be better off if I wasn't here.

She makes me cry. She also makes sense to me. I know her, she's been around for a long time and I secretly believe she's right.

Positive mental health has been made into a morbidly obese happiness eater. People are applauded and heralded as positive role models when they tell you on various media platforms how to keep smiling, how to chase your goals, how to be happy in spite of your traumas, and road rage at traffic. Most of all, these welfare and mental health gurus tell you various steps on how to have a positive or solution focused mindset that will eradicate the toxic inner voice.

I am going to a funeral tomorrow. For a client that I cared about and I want to honour them. I work in social work. I bought a dress. My boyfriend asked to see pictures that he could look at from across a different time zone. The evening descended into chaos. Seven months ago I was 24 stone. I am now 17 stone. I wasnt always big. Five years ago, I had a wonderful body that I wasn't grateful for and judged. I used to wear dresses everyday. Now I rarely wear them because my big belly and tree trunk calves cause me to wince and so I wear clothes that are strategic in what they highlight and hide. I go to the gym every day. I have cut out wheat, sugar and I live in calorie deficit. It works. Week on week, I lose pounds, small and great. But when I wear the dress, there is still mounds of fat everywhere. I can't send any photos to my boyfriend. He's not going to be turned on by my morbidly obese backside and bouncy castle physique. I am not turned on by it. I have another 7 stone to lose to be at my target. I look terrible in the dress. I look terrible full stop. I look as large as I did at 24 stone. I don't look normal, I look like an eye sore.

That's when the bitch serves me her best hits. She unleashes such torment that I want to die. I truly want to close my eyes and not wake up. I don't think I would really be missed for long. I am a blimp. Remembered and then forgotten. Not truly needed by anyone that couldn't replace me. I am temporarily suicidal. Seriously and not.

I say this as someone who not only works in mental health but as a trainee therapist about to qualify this year.

Good mental health is not the absence of toxic thoughts or never having a desire to die or to hurt yourself. It is the ability to know how to make sure that you around tomorrow and the day after. To continue even with a bitch throwing shade. To try again, even when you believe her. Good mental health is being able to hold a state of hope and hopelessness - waiting for the choas to quieten and move towards a kinder reasoning.

I want media platforms to talk more about the bitch. Maybe if we talked more honest about her and her long-term stay in our own lives, more suicidal thoughts would stay temporary, and we wouldn't hide this bully so effectively. We could help each other wait it out. Like strangers at the bus stop during a storm. We talk, and we joke because together, it feels a little less shit and the bus seems to get there quicker.

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zenwords · 2 years

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Giving Our Critical Voice Room to Speak The way to deal with the critical voice is by practicing meditation, and by giving it room to speak. In this way we start to notice it popping up in our everyday lives and we begin to feel more empowered about choosing whether or not to believe it - and whether or not we should act upon its distorted view of reality, or the one we see in front of us. This process takes patience (the voice has been with us forever and it’s not going to disappear overnight), and it also takes compassion. Turning self-judgment into self-compassion goes hand in hand with turning outward looking judgments into compassion for others. — galeyman #internalVoice #meditation #zenwords #criticalVoice #compassion #judgment #self-judgment #self-compassion #mindfulness #meditation #zenwords #galeyman https://www.instagram.com/p/Ci2eXgXu2F2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#internalvoice #meditation #zenwords #criticalvoice #compassion #judgment #self #mindfulness #galeyman

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littlebent-notbroken · 3 years

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The voice that kept saying “you’re a worthless piece a sh*t” sounded like my voice, but it also sounded a lot like my mom’s words. And in making that realization, it jolted me into wanting to speak kinder to myself, about myself. I wanted to be nothing like my mom, in any way shape or form. Then, as I got older, the voice started to say things that COULD be said by real and imaginary people. It was like my default setting was skepticism and criticism. I would imagine that as soon as I walked into a room or when I finished a presentation, people would begin judging me. I would go down the list of all the possible awful things everyone would say about me, and convince myself that they were true--even if there was no "evidence" to back it up. “I’m ugly, I’m fat, I’m not smart, I’m not funny, I’m being annoying, a burden.” So, who’s actually saying you’re not good enough? Who’s conditioned you to believe you’re less than? You’re unloved? You’re unwanted? And how can you come back to yourself and wrap yourself in the love and compassion you need and say to yourself “I’m here, I’m proud of you, I love you”? How can you reclaim your voice? #selfworth #findyourvoice #depressionrecovery #innercriticalvoice #criticalvoice #innerwork #mentalhealthawareness #cptsdwarrior #resilience #turnitaround #selflove #selfcompassion #selfcare #innerdialoguecoach #innercritic #empoweringthoughts #perfectionism #recoveringperfectionist #practicenotperfection #impostersyndrome (at San Francisco Bay Area) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLZuE54D-MF/?igshid=1kls6qwsge5ad

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nottinghamcounselling · 3 years

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Someone will always be a #critic about what you do or who you are. But if we dodge #criticism we #staysmall. Watch your #innercritic too. And #doitanyway .#graffiti #graffitiart #mentalhealth #criticalvoice #counselling #counsellor #therapy #gedling #gedlingcounsellor #mapperley #mapperleycounselling #carltonnottingham #carltoncounselling #netherfield #netherfieldcounsellor #nottingham #nottinghamcounselling #ng4 #ng4counselling #elainebondcounselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHXqmIjF5O2/?igshid=1x2msk5phnn17

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firstlastlovemusic · 6 years

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#whodoyoutrust @nogaerez - Off the Radar - We make up everything We tell it as we want A reasonable substitute For something that never was Small pieces are captured Stolen from your DNA I am the carrier I am the carrier #music @cityslangrecords #firstlastlovemusic #FLLM #nowplaying #nogaerez #shoutout #pp #sound • • • • • #musikk #musica #telaviv #israel #criticalvoice #experimental #electropop #rnb #alternativepop #producer #cityslangrecords #listen #takeamoment #discover #songoftheday (ved Tel Aviv, Israel) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnLIbo7BO2c/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3iigbxah5qfi

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carpedaymotiv8-blog · 6 years

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Lesson 22: Question the Critical Voice in Your Mind

“Non-judgment quiets the internal dialogue, and this opens once again the doorway to creativity.” Deepak Chopra

#carpedaymotiv8 #carpediem #criticalvoice #question #personaldevelopment #motivation

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megdunleyauthor · 6 years

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Dealing with critical voices

Writing first words, or a first draft, can be difficult if you let the critical voice in. Find out more about how to deal with critical voices so that you can get the first draft done. #amwriting #creativewriting #criticalvoices

One thing I love to do is to catch up with other writers and chat with them about their process, any hurdles and how they see their way forward. Recently I caught up with a friend who has taken on a mammoth job of writing his memoir. It’s a tough task as there can be loads of emotional baggage in there, as well as the invisible but powerful critical voice.

He’d just returned from a trip away to a…

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#Creative Writing #Creativity #Novel writing #Writing

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zenwords · 7 years

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#criticalVoice #compassion #judgment #self-judgment #self-compassion #mindfulness #meditation #zenwords #galeyman The way to deal with the critical voice is by practicing meditation, and by giving it room to speak. In this way we start to notice it popping up in our everyday lives and we begin to feel more empowered about choosing whether or not to believe it - and whether or not we should act upon its distorted view of reality, or the one we see in front of us. This process takes patience (the voice has been with us forever and it’s not going to disappear overnight), and it also takes compassion. Turning self-judgment into self-compassion goes hand in hand with turning outward looking judgments into compassion for others. — galeyman

#zenwords #criticalvoice #galeyman #judgment #meditation #self #compassion #mindfulness

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nottinghamcounselling · 4 years

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#progress and #recovery take time .Ironically we beat ourselves up about what we should do today and ignore the distance we have travelled already. #therapyjourney #mentalhealth #selfawareness #criticalvoice #innercritic #gedling #gedlingcounsellor #carltonnottingham #carltoncounselling #ng4 #ng4counselling #netherfield #netherfieldcounsellor #nottingham #nottinghamcounselling #elainebondcounselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CE87GDaF-pr/?igshid=1tdsu7xwxalgy

#progress #recovery #therapyjourney #mentalhealth #selfawareness #criticalvoice #innercritic #gedling #gedlingcounsellor #carltonnottingham #carltoncounselling #ng4 #ng4counselling #netherfield #netherfieldcounsellor #nottingham #nottinghamcounselling #elainebondcounselling

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nottinghamcounselling · 4 years

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This is massive the #criticalvoice ,the #innercritic ,#selfdeprecating and #selfabuse lead to low #selfesteem and lack of #selfbelief .#mayaangelou #counsellingservices #counseling #counsellor #gedling #gedlingcounsellor #carltoncounselling #carlton #nottingham #nottinghamcounselling #mapperley #mapperleycounselling #ng4counselling #ng4 #mentalhealth #selfcare (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CDdbjPXlzU5/?igshid=1joyb8ctv4c22

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nottinghamcounselling · 4 years

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Our #innervoice can be our #criticalvoice or our #nuturingvoice . It’s the voice we hear the most, so check out what you say to yourself and #changethevoice .#mentalhealth #innerchild #innercritic #counseling #counsellors #selfesteem #selfbelief #gedlingcounsellor #carltoncounselling #mapperleycounselling #nottinghamcounselling #ng4counselling #gedling #mapperley #childrencounseling #innerchild (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CC3EpRAFDHq/?igshid=ufa0do1fiay0

#innervoice #criticalvoice #nuturingvoice #changethevoice #mentalhealth #innerchild #innercritic #counseling #counsellors #selfesteem #selfbelief #gedlingcounsellor #carltoncounselling #mapperleycounselling #nottinghamcounselling #ng4counselling #gedling #mapperley #childrencounseling

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nottinghamcounselling · 4 years

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#laughteristhebestmedicine but remember what we say to #children becomes thier #innervoice . #innerchildwork #criticalvoice #parenting #selfesteem #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellors #gedlingcounsellor #carltoncounselling #mapperleycounselling #ng4counselling #nottinghamcounselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/CCS8J9UFPmN/?igshid=1dw4yqzm7rwp8

#laughteristhebestmedicine #children #innervoice #innerchildwork #criticalvoice #parenting #selfesteem #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellors #gedlingcounsellor #carltoncounselling #mapperleycounselling #ng4counselling #nottinghamcounselling

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nottinghamcounselling · 5 years

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Remember your #words stay in your child head and becomes their #criticalvoice .#innerchild #gedlingcounsellor #nottinghamcounselling #ng4counselling (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4PNZoQFS41/?igshid=rby6e9syo10n

#words #criticalvoice #innerchild #gedlingcounsellor #nottinghamcounselling #ng4counselling

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nottinghamcounselling · 5 years

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Watch your #criticalvoice #bekind to yourself and flourish #gedlingcounsellor #nottinghamcounselling #NG4cousellor #mentalhealth (at Elaine Bond Counselling Services) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3MSGhCFJgH/?igshid=1ftqqfs2lkocj

#criticalvoice #bekind #gedlingcounsellor #nottinghamcounselling #ng4cousellor #mentalhealth

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