“The average Pirates smp character has 1.5 pets” factoid is a statistical error Scott Denholm who lives on a cliff side and has 30 pets is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
yall i KNOW we clown on loki’s shoes but. i kinda want them. to trot around the house in and pretend i’m in a happy, rural, magic fantasy world. little bits of magic colour my hands, cauldron bubbling as i cook potions for my siblings so they may stay healthy and happy forever. blades of grass tickle my ankles, and it’s warm everywhere the sun shines on me. there are dragons in the sky. i can feel the ground underneath my feet without it hurting me.
he was just feeling really whimsical guys and i think i Get It
Nyarko tinha uma bolsa de moedas roubadas e pouco tempo para fazê-las sumir. O último passo daquele roubo perfeito sendo estragado pela habilidade de alguém que não tinha percebido a presença e, agora, a suspeita rondava sua figura. As roupas foram descartadas em alguma esquina (e marcada na memória para buscar depois)., a postura logo seguindo ao ficar mais tranquilo e relaxado. Nyarko ousou olhar para trás e não vendo ninguém entrou na primeira porta. O cheiro o acertou com força no nariz, animais presos e confinados naquele espaço preenchido com uma cacofonia infinita. Seus olhos passavam de pelo para chifre, olhos brancos e vermelhos como fogo. Merda, o garoto apontava para a direção contrária da que estava, mas logo seria visto. "Monstours Loveours à sua disposição, caro cliente. Em que podemos ajudá-lo?” Suas pernas eram cobras e ela não parava quieta, as mesmas cobrinhas trançadas num penteado que sibilava sem parar. O Leons coçou a cabeça, a mão na cintura procurando por alguma coisa que combinasse consigo... Qualquer criatura... O cachorro com chifre? O demônio batendo contra a grade? O felpudo irritante? Subiu e não achou uma gaiola decente, manteve na linha dos olhos e os animais o rejeitaram, desceu e recebeu competição. Olhos amarelados e um sorriso cheio de dentes que não cabiam na boca. Pele grossa, riscada de cicatrizes e olhos com riscos. A cauda comprida agitando a água enquanto usava de impulso para levantar o corpo e subir na borda da piscina improvisada. Ele bufou, irritado, a boca abrindo e revelando o inteiro esbranquiçado. “Joga logo essa merda pra dentro.” A voz reptiliano era mais ranger e animalesco, mas Nyarko entendeu muito bem. Esvaziou a bolsa de moedas na mão da atendente. “Eu quero ele.” Anunciou, como se já não fosse óbvio, e jogou a prova do crime na boca do jacaré. “E você pode ficar com o resto se me fazer um favor.”
5 minutos depois ele saía da loja com um jacaré nos braços, carregado feito uma criança. Seus perseguidores saíam frustrados da loja cuja atendente alegava com todas as forças que Nyarko estivera ali pela tarde toda. ‘Ele veio para o banho anual do jacaré, não veem como está limpo?’
FICHA CADASTRAL
Nome: Cigaro (o nome da última música escrita por Nyarko)
Idade: É feio perguntar
Raça: Reptiliano modificado, mistura de crocodilo e jacaré e algo mais...
Due to funds being tight because I am still paying off my bed and couch after the fire, I can't afford a new Halloween costume this year, but no fear. Since it didn't get enough play at the time for pandemic reasons, I am going as Alligator Loki again. I just needed shoes. Of course, I went with bright green Crocs.
Marvel (not Iron Man, Starlord, Loki, Thor, Doctor Strange, or Hawkeye, Drax, Victor Creed, Antman, Adam Warlocke, AG's Spiderman, or Cyclops)
DCEU (not Peacemaker, Killer Croc, JL's Joker, RP's Batman, or anyone from Gotham except Jerome/Jeremiah Valeska)
Scream Queens (not Chad Radwell or Pete Martinez)
American Horror Story (only Murder House, 1984, Freakshow, and Cult)
Hunger Games (not Gale, Maymitch, President Snow, or Cato)
The Maze Runner (not Ava Paige, Jorge, or Janson)
My Little Pony
Once Upon A Time (not Hook, David, Rumple, Neal, Peter Pan, or Zelena)
Pacific Rim (not the sequel)
Twilight (not Seth, Edward, Carlyle, or Jasper)
Stranger Things (not Will Byers, Billy Hargrove, or Jim Hopper)
IT (2017, 2019, and tv series) (not Henry Bowers or Pennywise)
Jurassic Park/World (not Owen Grady or Ian Malcolm)
Jumanji (1997 & 2017)
Zathura (not the dad or robot)
Stand By Me (not Ace Merrill)
Girl, Interrupted (not Jared Leto's character)
The Black Phone (not the Grabber or Mr. Blake)
Teen Wolf (the film & series)
Equestria Girls
Teen Wolf (not Peter, Jackson, Theo, or Derek)
The Office (not Jim, Ryan, or Dwight)
Now You See Me (not Dylan Rhodes or Merritt McKinney)
Descendants (not Chad, Harry, Ben, Jay, or Carlos)
Sky High (not Zach or Speed)
Percy Jackson films (not Luke Castellan)
The Umbrella Academy (not Five)
TMNT (live action ver. only)
Dance Moms (not the final season)
Ender's Game
Wednesday (not Xavier, Tyler, or the Dean)
Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse (not Mentor Peter Parker)
Unbreakable (not Hedwig or Dennis)
Big Hero 6
The Black Mirror
Dynasty (not Culhane, Adam, or Blake)
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Spy Kids
Sharkboy & Lavagirl
Clue, Knives Out, & Glass Onion
Back to the Future (not Biff), Breakfast Club (not Bender), Sandlot, Stand By Me (not Ace Merrill), Mighty Ducks, The Outsiders (not Dally, Two-Bit, Randy, Bob, Steve, or Darry)
I’m willing to write imagines for underage characters so long as there's no romance (examples: hang out with the Losers Club at the barrens; go shopping with Eleven and Max; play baseball with Finney and Bruce). I’m allowed to deny any request and the longest I should take ever to write one is about 2 weeks. I’ll write smut, fluff, angst, poly relationships, LGBTQ+, etc. Generally most of my x readers are female unless stated otherwise.
What I won’t write-
I won’t write anything to do with rape, bestiality, necrophilia, incest, romance with anyone younger than 18, gun play, anything about poo(sexually), anything about urine(squirting is fine considering it’s not technically urine), age gaps. See guidelines for more details.
It's hump day people! So that means it's time to find out what everyone is working on! 😎 As for your girl Nerdie, I have a few things in the works: two Dieter fics, two Marcus Pike fics, and Dave/Santi.
@iamasaddie Popped out a dark Valentine's Day prompt and past Nerdie said sure! Thus we're going to have a different version of Marcus Pike. (Not “Daddy” I made a slight edit to the prompt). He might be a bit manipulative, but it's for your benefit. Not odd at all. It's still in bullet points and some of them may change I gave @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin a preview so have to ask her if it makes any sense. 😄 (The above gif is how I picture this Marcus. Like he looks so sweet, but sir, SIR! But also we're okay with it, maybe.)
@magpiepills gave me an excellent idea for meeting Marcus Pike at a motel based off a Tag game we did a week or two ago. I've thought of three parts for the thing. I just gotta write it. That will be the Marcus fluff we know and love. 💕
@angelofsmalldeath-codeine Sweetly asked if there was an update on my chapter Dieter series "Weddings 101 with Dieter." I am working on chapter 4, I just have to work out the details. The devil is there and he is mocking me. 😈 The Horny Delegation's High Chancellor has high expectations. Maybe I should have written it a little worse. 🤗
Dave/Santi have their bullet points mostly. I did start on them. Maybe February @for-a-longlongtime It needs a lot more meat, lube, cargo pants and zip ties. There may be a preview of that next week along with some Santiago smut. The Santi x reader smut will be @rhoorl (she started it with her ask) and @legendary-pink-dot fault who sent me one journalist's investigative piece on Oscar's Dune beard. 🤣 I also blame Pinterest. You search “Oscar Isaac beard” one time. Sheesh. 😒
I finished my addition to the PMAMC 2024 challenge organized by the talented @wannab-urs and, well, it's done and out there. 👀 Read the other ones and come back to mine, if you think about it. This week is everyone is posting so there will be a masterlist up later with everyone who participated.
I'll end with a small preview of my Dieter Brovo one-shot:
God he needs to feel you, the pocket pussy he has is alright but he needs your full weight on him. You mewling at him, giving him silent direction as he tries to make you vocalize more. Dieter’s aware he’s often loud enough for the both of you and he finds that hearing the few moans that you will give him, fill him with a sense of accomplishment. He remembered that you’d told him that it was difficult to climax sometimes and actually you’ve reached your peak so much more often with him than other partners, because he cared to find out where your spots are, what makes you feel good. Your hushed noises weren’t an indication that he wasn’t doing well, you just weren't used to making sounds during sex. Since the two of you met at a club where you had misplaced your shoes and Dieter let you borrow his crocs, you’d been seeing each other when you could. It was one of the few stable relationships Dieter had outside of his business team.
So that’s all I have this week. 🤗 See you next week!
What I'll write; fluff, angst, headcanons, one shots, platonic relationships, yanderes, suggestive themes.
What I won't write; actual nsfw, oc x reader, cheating, suicide, romantic adult x minor.
When requesting something please be specific but also keep it simple.
Please be kind, not only to me but other people and remember that some of the stuff I write (anything yandere related) is purely for entertainment only I don't support any of these actions in real life.
Please be patient when requesting something. I have a life outside of tumblr, and a terrible habit of procrastinating with certain things.
Remeber that I can say no to any requests I don't feel comfortable writing.
Fandom(s) I write for + who I write for.
DC
Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two Face, Mr. Freeze, Joker, Harley Quinn, Killer croc, Victor Zsasz, Firefly
Outlast Whistleblower
Eddie Glunskin.
Black Butler
Grell, Undertaker, William T Spears, Othello, Ludger, Sascha, Snake, Ciel( platonic only!), Sebastian, Ronald Knox, Eric Slingby and Alan Humphries.
Sir Crocodile, Enel, Mihawk, Boa Hancock, Eustass Kid, Killer, Wire, Heat, Donquixote Doflamingo, Viola, Monet, Corazon, Dellinger, Baby 5, Gladius, Caesar Clown, Law, Luffy, Sanji, Zoro, Nico Robin, Van Augur, Laffitte, Ace and Nami.
Resident Evil
Ethan Winters, Karl Heisenberg, Lady Dimitrescu, Donna Benevento, Mother Miranda, Dimitrescu Daughters.
Dead By Daylight
The Wraith, The Huntress, Trickster, The Spirit, The Oni, The Doctor, The Legion, The Plague.
Record Of Ragnarok
Heimdall, Thor, Loki, Adam and Eve, Shiva, Parvati, Kali, Durga, Jack The Ripper, Brunhilde, Buddha, Odin, Aphrodite, Hermes, Ares, Forseti, Heracles and Hades.