#depressed character

[cannondisabledcharacters]

Today’s disabled character of the day is Sunny from Omori, who has hikikomori syndrome, depression, an unspecified trauma, selective mutism, Arachnophobia, Aquaphobia, and Acrophobia. He is also visually impaired (route dependent)

Requested by Anon

[Image Description: Drawing of a boy with medical wrapping around his head and right eye. He is drawing with blue lines with a faint blue background. He has short black hair and black eyes. He is wearing a white hospital gown.]

#spoilers! #visually impaired character #acrophobia character #Aquaphobic character #selective mute character #unspecified character #depressed character #hikikomori syndrome character #Omori #Omori Sunny #disabled character of the day

[katiajewelbox]

My latest Picmix GIF, this time in honour of the mysterious Folken Fanel. In this composition, the gears symbolise his association with science and engineering in Zaibach. The clocks represent how he knows his life will be cut short and that he is racing against time. The black feathers recall his black wings and the curse upon him. Folken is one of the most intriguing characters in the anime Vision of Escaflowne with his noble heart allied against his will to the evil forces of Zaibach. I find that he's also a sympathetic and accurate depiction of a depressed person in anime.

My Picmix composition uses official promotional art from the 1996 anime Vision of Escaflowne with digital edits.

#escaflowne #vision of escaflowne #tenkuu no escaflowne #anime #folken fanel #villian #anime villain #mad scientist #steampunk #clockpunk #thunderstorm #90s anime #90s anime aesthetic #90s shoujo #whimsigoth #gothic #depressed character #zaibach #picmix #purple and black #blue hair #biseinen #male character #clocks #black feathers #feathers #draconian #escaflowne characters #escaflowne fan art #escaflowne fanart

[typically-untypical]

Nobody talks about how Logan has begun to drink a concerning amount of alcohol in recent episodes. Maybe a fic about his new found coping mechanism?

You my dear anon are a person of a discerning palate. I have been thinking about this for a while but didn't think about writing anything on it. Apparently, I had a lot to say though because this fic ended up being a little over 2.7k

That being said there are a lot of Content Warnings: Alcohol Abuse, Violence, depression, isolation, and self-hatred, so everyone please read with caution!

PS to my Tag list: Sorry I didn't tag y'all in all of the other ones I've posted this week, I wasn't using my own computer so I didn't have easy access to the list!

Logan didn’t have a problem. A problem would constitute that it was affecting him in ways that were unexpected. Logan knew exactly what he was doing, exactly how it was affecting him, and exactly what the outcomes would be. He was logic, and he was smart enough to make the choices that needed to be made to make him most efficient. His new founding coping mechanism might be less than healthy but addictions were tied to emotional triggers, and he was Logic, he didn’t have emotions. He wasn't addicted and the moment that this wasn't the most logical option for processing his stressors he would stop.

He would have no problem stopping.

Looking down at the empty bottle of wine that sat on his desk, Logan sighed, pushing himself out of his chair. He was desperately trying to lie to himself. Even he wasn’t convinced it hadn’t become problematic. He was spiraling, and Logan was aware of it. It used to be that a single glass at the end of the day would help his frayed nerves but now he was drinking at least a bottle a day, if not more. Whatever it took to keep himself from feeling the world around him. He wasn't supposed to feel. He just wanted to be numb.

Numb was so much easier than the screaming echoes in his head. 

With a snap, Logan cleaned up his room, looking around what used to be a calming place for him. At one time his room had been his pride and joy, awards from childhood, Thomas' diploma, everything that Logan had worked hard to build. Now it was a monument to his failures, a life they could have had that was abandoned along with him.

After cleaning up his room, Logan had to sit back down. That was a lot of energy for someone not completely sober, and a lingering thought in the back of his head told him that he had earned another glass of wine but he could feel that maybe he needed a glass of water, just this once. Cleaning up his room felt like giving himself a new perspective. He summoned himself a water, sipping at it lightly. It was nice to have everything looking so clean, it was relaxing. It made him feel better to have the area looking clean again after so long. There was a small bit of hope in him that maybe he could keep his room clean, but he knew it wouldn't last. It wasn't just the bottles, it was his mental state, the things he was constantly trying to pretend that he wasn't feeling. However, maybe for just a little bit longer he could pretend like everything was okay, like he wasn’t being ignored, like his function hadn’t been relegated to ‘comic relief’, like he had actually found his answers at the bottle of the bottle. 

Time wasn't kind. He couldn't sit there in his world of fantasy much longer. Despite all of the turmoil in the mindscape, Patton had been trying to maintain movie night, a tradition that had started when they had accepted Virgil. Things had felt simpler back then. Watching Big Hero 6 with everyone else after Virgil had convinced Roman that his choice sucked, had been entertaining. Now, everything was strained. Patton let Roman get away with everything he wanted, Virgil was on the Prince's side, and Logan was left to fend for himself, if he wanted to fight at all. Honestly, he had a feeling all of this was going to fall apart. The sooner the better, he didn't want to have to deal with the three of them but he continued to out of obligation. It served no purpose for Thomas to continue to fight himself. In what little ways he could, Logan wanted to support Thomas' growth as a person, even if it meant he got left behind. 

“Hey Logan!” Patton said with a smile that looked a bit forced. He was trying his best, but they all knew it wasn’t enough. As Logan looked at the fatherly side he could only see the panicked look of frustration and fear as he hit the "Skip All" button, as he shoved aside Logan's commentary.

“Patton,” he responded with a nod, sitting down on the couch in the same spot he always took. He didn't want to add to the stress Patton had been experiencing. Logan was trying to be the best logic he could be, he wanted to support everyone's mental health, he had been trying to change, but it didn't feel like enough. 

He could already feel his buzz wearing off and he rubbed his temples, debating on if he was going to try to make it thought movie night as he continued to grow more sober, or if he was going to continue on his bad habit? Roman was glaring at Patton, refusing to say a word to him. Virgil refused to make eye contact all together and Logan felt his headache grow. “You look awful, nerd.” Roman had always been like this, he pushed and teased and did whatever he wanted. He said cruel things not because he was cruel but because he had so little of a filter. HE was more like his brother than he realized sometimes. Normally, Logan just let it brush off his shoulders, much like he brushed off Remus' morning star but today... he just couldn't handle it anymore. He conjured himself a glass of wine, sipping at it slowly. He didn't want to feel anymore.

As Roman put on a movie, Logan could feel Patton staring at him. Logan was sure that Patton was judging him, silently trying to figure out how to bring up the conversation without being rude. Well the joke was on him, that wasn't possible, not if he wanted to get the information he thought it was so important he needed. Logan ignore him, just like everyone else had been doing to him. At least, he did until he had finished his glass and Patton continued to stare. At that point it was just annoying. “Is there something you need?” Logan snapped, eyebrow raised, irritation written into every harsh crease on his face.

Patton hesitated, if he had any good sense about him he would drop it, but of course he didn't. Logan knew only a few of the sides had brain cells and Patton wasn't one of them... maybe he was being to harsh... no, after everything that had happened Patton deserved worse, and it wasn't as if he was saying any of this out loud. "You've been drinking a lot of wine recently, are you... are you enjoying it?" He chickened out of the question he was going to ask. Of course he did, it was Patton. 

"This was a decent vintage, I have it simulated from one of Thomas' memories." 

"Oh, well... I'm glad you are enjoying it. You should be careful not to drink too much though, it's not healthy for you."

Logan looked at Patton, eyebrow raised. "Patton we are metephisical beings, drinking doesn't even make us drunk unless we choose for it to do so." He stated, waving his hand as if that fact was obvious.

"Well... it's um... it's just unlike you kiddo."

“First of all, I'm not your child, and second of all, I am allowed to pick up new habits as they suit me.” If Patton wanted to continue to dance around his point, the Logan wasn't going to entertain him and give him the information he wanted. 

And apparently Patton wasn't going to ask. “Yeah, you're right, I just... I wanted to make sure you were aware of the change. You know sometimes we start picking up habits and we don't even realize it."

"Leave the nerd alone," Roman called, "If he wants to drink let him drink." Logan was both thankful that Roman cut in and frustrated.

He was aware, he was drowning and all the three of them could do was push him aside as they continued their next fight. Roman came to his defense, but he was completely ignoring the fact that Logan needed help. Silence once again fell over the room, the only sound being that of the TV in front of them. The wine in Logan's stomach churned and the itch to grab something stronger ran up his spine. There was a part of him that was thankful Patton had dropped the subject, a part of him that was thankful Roman had stopped their conversation. He didn’t want to talk about the unhealthy nature of his coping mechanism and all of the other things he already knew. He just wanted to be left alone. However, there was another part of him desperately crying out, begging for someone to notice he was in trouble and needed help. He was desperate for the care which might make him break and truthfully answer the question Patton refused to ask. “I’m very much aware," He answered, gripping the side of the couch. How could he not be?

He was aware he had a problem; he was aware he needed help, but the numbness was so much more preferable to the pain. Loud intrusive thoughts plagued him during the day, and if he didn’t self mediacate, they would almost assuredly win. What was a side to do when they realized that they were no longer a useful part to the human they cared for? He needed to cope more than he needed to stop himself. He wasn't willing to admit the truth that waited for him in sobriety. 

No one was going to offer him a helping hand, so he was going to do what he needed to do.

The quiet was no longer the calm of a movie night but the tenseness from an unfinished conversation. Patton was fidgeting and Roman and Virgil eventually looked back at the two of them. There was something in both of their eyes that Logan couldn't pin point, but he wasn't comfortable under their gaze. “I will be returning to my room.” He stood up, pushing himself from the couch, maybe that wine had been a little stronger than he thought. It was fine, he could continue to pretend, he had a lot of practice in it. Honestly, he was thankful to have an excuse to leave anyway. He hadn’t come down to be judged, and he had no intention of staying here if all they wanted to do was stare at him and make him feel guilty for the way he was coping with the pain they caused. 

He swayed a little bit as he reached the top of the stairs, hand on the wall to keep himself up. It didn't feel like they were staring anymore, maybe this was just one more time that they wanted to get rid of him. He summoned a bottle, drinking a heafty swig before disappearing it.

He was fine. Everything was fine.

The world was spinning, but he had nothing else to do tonight. He didn't have to work and he could just slip into unconsciousness. As he entered his bedroom, he found the whole floor covered in empty bottles, glasses, any kind of container that had once held alcohol. What was more, he knew each one, the bottle he had just drank from a moment ago was sitting on his desk. They were all staring at him, mocking him and he recoiled, hand on the door handle. He had just cleaned his room, all of this should be cleaned, instead in was meticulously placed as if to mock him. Was he really so drunk that he was starting to hallucinate? He knew he had a problem, he just didn't think it had gotten this bad.

“Hello Chemisty Solution, get it? Cuz that’s what you smell like.” Remus was laying on his bed, looking at him. There was a smirk outlined on the chaotic man's face. He didn’t normally have issues with Remus but after the incident with Thomas’ schedule…. After one more person had helped him be pushed away!

“Out,” He growled. Logan snapped to get rid of the bottles, but they didn’t move. This had to be some fuckery that Remus was pulling to prove a point. Fine, Logan would just do it the old fashion way. He began picking them up one by one.

“Now where is the fun in that?” Remus watched him like a hawk, this was the exact reason that Logan had left the Movie night. He didn’t need to be judged. He wanted to cope in peace where no one else could give their two cents into how he could fix a problem they caused. “Y’know, Jannie says you are going to come to your sense and reach out for help, but I think he underestimates how stubborn you are, so I’m taking over.”

Why should he reach out for help from a prince who never listened to him, an emo who called him the least favorite, a father who refused to listen to anyone's voice other than his own, a gremlin who wanted him to suffer, or a snake who benched him? Why would he reach out to any of them?!

“Get Out,” Logan stated again, frustration and anger pouring over him as he fought to grab one of the bottles that was sitting on his floor. Bending down like that was hard, he almost lost his balance but he refused to lose his dignity in front of Remus. He refused!

“Nah, I’m here to stop you and force you to look at the consequences of your actions or some shit.” Remus was acting nonchalant, laying in the bed as if this were a normal conversation between friends but he didn't get that privilage. 

Logan could feel his blood boiling, his anger pouring off of him in waves as he threw a bottle towards Remus’ head. He shouldn't have done that, but the anger felt so good. The bottle shattered next to Remus and Logan could feel his body getting hot. “You don’t get to play the hero when you are part of the problem!” Logan went to grab another bottle, ready to throw it again, but Remus wasn’t on the bed anymore. Instead, he stood in front of Logan, holding onto the other man’s wrist tightly. He was stopping Logan from expressing his anger, stopping him from lashing out but this was the most he had felt in weeks. He wanted the anger, because it was the only emotion that didn't leave him feeling like a gaping hole had been shot through his chest. He didn't want to see the pity in Remus’ eyes.

“I want you to go crazy," Remus' voice was surprisingly calm and quiet, "but this isn’t what I meant. You need to throw that anger somewhere where it will be constructive, or you’re just going to get consumed by your own flames.” No, he didn't get to lecture Logan. He didn't get to try to be a savior.

Logan fought and struggled against Remus hand. He didn’t want to hear this. He had been fighting alone for so long, when he was hurt no one reached out to him. He wasn't going to lay down his weapon just because someone was finally acknowledging that there was a problem.

"Remus, let me take over." That was Janus, his voice also smooth and calm as Logan felt Remus disappear. Janus took his place, but he led Logan's hand down, no longer raised in a form of aggression. "I'm sorry Logan," He whispered, and for a brief moment Logan almost felt like he was going to get the apology he wanted, but instead, Janus continued. "This is going to hurt, but you need to let yourself feel all of it."

Suddenly the buzz and the anger were gone, instead replaced by everything both had been trying to mask. Tears began pouring down Logan's face as he almost collapsed to his knees, caught by Janus' other arms.

"Please, I don't want to feel, I don't want..."

"I know," Janus cooed quietly, "But you need to. If you are going to get over this, you are going to have to feel all of the pain you've been hiding."

Logan collapsed into Janus' chest, his legs having already given out.

"Please, I don't want to feel anymore."

Tag List: @simplestoryteller @fantasticfangirl21 @joylessnightsky @melaniidarling

#Untypical Creations #Sanders Sides #Sanders Side fic #Fanfic #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Roman Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Remus Sanders #Janus Sanders #alcohol abuse #Depressed Character #Violence #Logan Angst

[foxywrites]

all my agony fades away (when you hold me in your embrace) - CH 1

Dazai calls Chuuya drunk from a bar on a stormy night at 3 am, and things just escalate from there on.

(this fic was slightly inspired by @caelanglang's drunk fem SKK drawings!)

WORD COUNT; 2,237 words

RATING; Teen (SFW)

CHAPTER; 1/3

WARNINGS; Attempted Rape, Depressed Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Heavy Drinking, Murder

FANDOM: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs

RELATIONSHIPS/PAIRINGS; Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

CHARACTERS; Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Ensemble (Bungou Stray Dogs)

ADDITIONAL TAGS; Drunken Shenanigans, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Murder, Protective Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Female Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Female Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Female Dazai Osamu & Female Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Heavy Drinking, Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), July Break Bingo, July Break Bingo 2023, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Hurt/Comfort, Any Fandom Goes Bingo, Any Fandom Angst Bingo, Any Fandom Dark Bingo, Genderbending, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, (OH AND THE NON-CON IS NOT BETWEEN DAZAI AND CHUUYA!)

JULY BREAK FLASH BINGO PROMPTS || @julybreakbingo

- “I think I’m losing my mind.”

JULY BREAK MINI BINGO PROMPTS || @julybreakbingo

- Bar or Restaurant

BAD THINGS HAPPEN BINGO PROMPTS || @badthingshappenbingo

- Attempted Rape

ANY FANDOM ANGST BINGO PROMPTS || @anyfandomangstbingo

- Homicidal Tendencies (by Chuuya)

ANY FANDOM DARK BINGO PROMPTS || @anyfandomdarkbingo

- Blue on Black by Kenny Wayne Shepherd

LGBTQ BINGO || @lgbtqbingo

- Height Difference

#july break bingo 2023 #jbbingo2023 #fandom: bungou stray dogs #ship: Chuuya x Dazai #ship: Soukoku #trigger warnings : #Attempted Rape #Depressed Character #Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms #Heavy Drinking #Murder #any fandom angst bingo #lgbtq bingo #any fandom dark bingo #fanfic #dazai osamu #bsd #alternate universe #female dazai osamu #female chuuya nakahara #fem skk #femlae skk #fem dazai #fem chuuya #character moodboard #moodboard #aesthetic #chapter aesthetic #bungou stray dogs #foxy's updates

[seratonintriggers]

🎥: via TikTok

#supernatural #spn tiktok #dean winchester #character insights #depressed character #depression

[moreaithusaplease]

The death of Arthur

You'd died.

That thing is wearing your skin

Yet no one perceived what took your place

Even when the thing was so silent that didn't looked like you anymore.

You help them but they don't know the truth

Because the real one died the same day he did die

The day he did die the sun seemed less bright or maybe it was just me

"—Oh darling, even Rome fell"

When the goodness told me that you weren't backing soon, I wished i did screamed, screamed as loud as i could.

I didn't even sob or wail, mine grief was discreet, Horrible but persistent, Silent just like a internal bleeding that take time to do the damage.

Maybe i did wished that you did in heard my silent plea on your peaceful rest, that you would open your eyes and hug me teasingly in the way just you could do

Thinking about we again, i couldn't even ask you to stay when everyone you loved got away, and who knows if you would like my company ever again.

Maybe is the egoism, the type of egoism that all the dragon Lords had, a simple desire of own something that no one else has

Because i thinked i could read you like a open book, but you? You my darling were in another whole language.

How could have i never have understood this? I could never had this type of feeling, i know today, maybe i knew since then and didn't wanted to recognize it.

Even knowing it all, i would do anything to simple have you here, But even the most powerful know that at this time i can't break the destiny course, how i tried to and failed miserably

It was terrifying.

While i mourned everything

Everyone else clearly forgotten

I saw when they started to see our world as a myth.

When they started to see you as a Myth

I could have done something, yes i could.

But in those myths you were happy, I couldn't destroy that happiness even if it was all fake to me, Silently I dreamed about a world where every single of those myths happened and you were alive

Maybe my magic was the one to guilt

It seemed to work, Since no one remember the real story anymore and even i started to forget little by little, I can't even bring myself to remember the tone of your eyes.

Would you call me idiot if you could read this?

Maybe it was actually the time, but you knew i never liked to out the fault in my shoulders My darling Arthur

I miss you

#the start talks about merlin #and then after rome fall its arthur #Merlin #Merlin grief #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #can be read as methur actually but it also can be read as a normal friendship (i writed as methur anyways) #Arthur Pendragon is dead #Merlin writes his memories to nro forget #fanfic prompts #bbc arthur #grief #forgetting Memories #forgetting #depressed character

[miseribusiness]

Broken Reflections

🌑

The following work includes moderately graphic descriptions of burn wounds, depressive tendencies, self hatred, and the topic of (slightly) premeditated murder (Character wishes for another characters death). If this work is not suitable for you, please scroll

🪐

The white sheet looked ghostly, flowing limply and resting against the sink counter as the breeze from the open window toyed with its physics. As one would with a ghost, Thatcher remained wary and stared at the circular mass beyond the sheet. It was a mirror, that's all it was.

He had been working up the courage to look at his new appearance for months as he’d now healed moderately from the burns he sustained when the manor fell in flames, of course being held down against the fire and feeling his skin rip, tear and blister as he screamed for the one person he loved to stop would result in some hefty issues. It's been six months, he can stop being dramatic now, can't he?

Working up the courage to look at himself had not been easy. The mere idea of it sent a chill down his spine and more often than not, nausea would plague him, caressing his thoughts with the taste of stomach acid. Overall about 65 percent of his body had been burned, primarily on his left side and the expanse of his back had been so bad that cloth of any sort had caused tears to well in his eyes and his body to become dizzy with pain. His face had not been exempted.

The left side of his face was of a differing, blotchy skin tone now. His flesh sensitive and warped, digging into his soul more than the muscle if anything. He hated himself plenty beforehand but this truly felt like a curse. Perhaps he was in damnation or limbo, forever woven in with self hatred. That would suck. And still, he stares longingly at the billowing white sheet, as if to challenge it. Eventually he had to work up the courage to look at himself, right? He had to. What kind of fucking wimp bitch couldnt look at themselves in the mirror anyway? He grimaced at the train of thought, derailing from one thought to the next as his mind became a clusterfuck of emotion, all bundled up inside the singular issue he faced. All of this, for the task of looking into his reflection and seeing the monster he's become. He truly is a wimp.

Lucius Thatcher rips the sheet of the mirror, not allowing himself to dwell for much longer. The seconds pass by the minute it seems, his heart racing at the sight of his mutilated image. He turns his face slowly to the right, grimacing at the grotesque imagery painting itself over his scalp and cheek, his ear semi melded to the skin and cut right through the lower half of his ear lobe after he’d ripped himself away from the wreckage. His arm had followed suit when he did.

Lucius Thatcher is going to kill Sasha Auburn for doing this to him.

#whump #whump oc #whump wounds #writers on tumblr #whump author #hurt no comfort #depressed character #oc whump #fantasy

[ravenpoefan]

Been struggling these past few weeks so here’s a struggling Arturo because this is what I’ve also been doing tbh

#my oc Arturo #Arturo zephyr freycrest #my oc art #ravenpoefan art #my art #if I had to suffer then so does he #but seriously I needed to draw some vent art #vent art #depression #depressed character #I had this in my drafts and forgot to post it

[queer-book-character-tournament]

Character, book, and author names under the cut

Neil Josten- All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

Gideon Nav- The Locked Tomb by Tamsyn Muir

#depressed redhead showdown #Neil Josten #aftg #the foxhole court #tfc #the kings men #the raven king #all for the game #Nora Sakavic #Gideon Nav #The Locked Tomb #gideon the ninth #tlt #Tamsyn Muir #lgbt books #polls #queer book character tournament 2.0

[jessdrawz]

magic doesn't feel the same anymore

#here have a cleaned up and colored depression doodle lol #artists on tumblr #illustration #character design #digital art #digital illustration

[canisalbus]

Hypothetically if. If they had a kiddo. A puppy. Does that hypothetical child have a design in your genius artist head anywhere

.

#hmm #no probably not #they can't have biological children #and I doubt they'd ever end up adopting either #it would be just a little depressing to design a character that can't ever be used #and even if you did it just because you wanted to see how their genetics could potentially mix #Machete is albinistic and unless his offspring inherited the condition (rendering them fully white like him) #they would have completely different colors #so it wouldn't be gold + white but gold + mystery mix #right? #answered #anonymous

[cannondisabledcharacters]

Today's disabled character of the day is Melinda Sordino (Mel) from Speak, who has depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and is selectively mute

[Image Description: Black and drawing of a girl wearing a backpack and clutching the straps. She has long dark hair that cover his left eye. She is wearing a short sleeve shirt, skirt, and sneakers.]

#ptsd character #depressed character #selective mute character #Melinda Sordino #Speak 1999 #Speak Mel #disabled character of the day

[maranull]

anyway, Elden Ring is about love and hope

Marika burns everything she has build out of sorrow

Ranni banishes the Outer Gods and also fucks off the Lands, giving agency back to the normal beings of the Lands

Fortissax endlessly fights Death for his friend/lover

Melina burns herself and Erdtree in hopes of a better world in the hands of the Tarnished

Blaidd fights against the very reason he was created out of love for his sister

Ranni and Rykard always keep an eye on their mother, protecting her

Radahn evokes so much love from his troops that they organise a whole festival to give him a honorable death even in his madness

Radahn learns an entire new school of magic in order to still ride his favourite horse

Boc's love for his mother, his mother's love for him

How all but two endings are build on the hope that this new era (whatever it might be) will be good

Miquella attempting to create an whole new world-tree to host the forsaken and the damned

Miquella turning on the faith he was raised and even believed in to an extent, when it was unable to cure his sister's curse

The Cleanrot's loyalty to Malenia and their endurance of the Rot, only to stay in her service

Malenia marching through the entire continent in search of her brother

Finlay traveling all the way back on her own, carrying the incapacitated demigod on her back

Tanith's love for Rya

Dialos' entire questline

Edgar being driven mad after his daughter dies

Vyke embracing, to a point, the Frenzied Flame in order to save his finger maiden

or you know, that's just how I see it

#elden ring #i'm simplifying a lot in this #but that's the story #to me #it follows the pattern of the ds series too #where the world was miserable and depressing #yet the main theme was hope and perseverance #with elden ring we got so many more characters and as such love began playing a bigger part too #and you can't really have interesting characters without their actions being driven by love and hope #or lack thereof #even power-hungry characters are driven by the hope of reaching the power “level” they want #and hateful ones are driven by lack of love #or so i think

[typically-untypical]

Wake Up Again

AU: Canon-ish

CW: Attempted Suicide, Disassociation

WC: 1953

Date: 11/29/2022

The morning air was calm and quiet, soft summer rays were flowing through Logan's winder, warming up the room slowly. For all intents and purposes it was a perfect morning, yet Logan was not warm. A cold pain had gripped his chest and he looked up at the ceiling, staring at the unchanging stucco on the ceiling. It was the same as it had been the morning before. Logan wasn't supposed to have seen this ceiling again.

He wasn't supposed to wake up.

Pushing himself out of bed, his arms trembled but he ignored it. There was really no point in indulging in a pain he had caused. Obviously his experiment had been a failure. His eyes slowly roamed the room, everything was blurry but he could still tell that the room was exactly how he left it, pristine except for the bed. He rubbed his eyes, pushing away the lingering panic that had set itself in his heart until it was gone, just barely a whisper. Instead, he embraced the numbness the cold left behind. He knew there was a possibility he wouldn't succeed, knew that the mind could do amazing things to heal itself, but he still didn't really expect to wake up. He wasn't the mind, just logic, just a imaginative figment to give reality to a dream.

He had hoped that being a figment might let him escape, but there was no such luck.

Letting out a long and slow sigh, he stood up, glasses affixed to his face as he started to go about his day. He had woken up against his will but he wasn't going to make it anyone else's problem. He snapped his fingers, disappearing the red soaked sheets and replacing them with something darker, something that wouldn't show the mess next time. He should have thought of that previously. Logan stepped towards his personal shower, each movement like a marionette being led by it's strings. Even the water didn't feel like anything, he knew he had set the temperature to cold but it didn't penetrate the chill in his skin. That was fine. It would make everything that happened easier. He preferred numb to the screaming inside his own head. The quiet was... something. Maybe peaceful... or it might have been at one time. Logan wasn't sure, but he also didn't care. Stepping out of the shower he dried his hair, fingers working purely on muscle memory. When he finally looked at himself in the mirror, he was already dressed, tie affixed as it always was like a noose around his neck. He turned from the mirror without a second glance, stepping into his bedroom and standing amongst the quiet. It felt like chaos compared to the emptiness in his head. There were books on the shelf that he used to enjoy, scholastic trophies, and a calendar impressing on him the deadlines of the day. He didn't feel the need or the pressure to do any of it, so he walked to his bed and sat down. He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he heard the knock on the door, but the light had visibly shifted. Something had changed.

"Logan, is everything okay?" Patton's voice had that edge of concern to it. Logan could recognize it from when Patton had addressed the others, the way he spoke to Roman after the wedding, trying to assure him that things would get better, the way he had spoken to Virgil when their friend thought he wasn't wanted. Logan had heard that voice many times towards other people. Now that it was directed towards him, he wasn't sure how to answer.

"Logan?" Soft, curious, full of worry and concern. It was easy to hear it all as it echoed through his hollowness, but none of it felt real.

"I'm coming," He finally answered, pushing himself up and mechanically walking to the door. The knob twisted under his grip and the door swung open. Logan blinked at it before turning his face to Patton with the same level of curious apathy.

"Hey there, were you working yourself too hard again?" Patton asked, trying to keep a positive smile. It didn't reach his eyes. Logan had spent so long looking at each of them, hoping if he could figure out what they wanted he could be what they needed him to be. If he played along with their games maybe they would listen; if he was serious and above reproach maybe they would listen. It was fine now. He didn't care. 

"It's lunch time and none of us have seen you all day, normally you at least come down for some crofters."

Patton was needling. There was a question he wanted to ask but he was being indirect, trying not to hurt Logan's feelings. It was fine. He didn't have feelings.

"Simply lost track of time." Would it have taken them this long if he hadn't woken up? Or would the mind have known something was irreparably wrong? No, not irreparably, Logan didn't think so highly of himself, but certainly his absence would have caused a crack, a fissure, something?

Patton looked at him opening his mouth to ask a question before shaking his head and holding out his hand, offering a lifeline to Logan. He felt a pull in his heart, a twinge as he starred down at Patton's soft palm. He had longed for this, for so long he had wanted a lifeline but not now, not when he had finally found a way to turn it off. "Do you want to come down for lunch?" 

It was harder to weigh the pros and cons, but Logan knew he had been sitting in his room for several hours if it was now lunch time. Though they didn't necessarily need to eat, it would probably be in his best interest to put something into his stomach. He nodded, but didn't take Patton's hand. For a moment the other man's smile faltered, eyes flicking between Logan's hand and Logan's face, but the logical side didn't move, and eventually, Patton turned around to lead them both to the kitchen.

Things fell back into a routine, everything was the same... except Logan. Virgil continued to talk about his band interests, trading jabs with Roman. The prince in return would go off on tangents about future video ideas and Patton would encourage him. There was still a palpable tension in the air, but that was also rather common. Things still weren't back to how they had been before the fallout. Occasionally, Patton looked Logan's way, biting his lip, but he didn't say anything, and Logan was content with that. He was enjoying the numbness of being a ghost in his friend's peripherals. He wasn't here to give Roman advice that would be shot down. He wasn't here to discuss the effects of negative self thought with Virgil. He was only here to put sustenance in his body, and to appease Patton.

Once his food was gone, he excused himself. The others fell quiet for a moment, and though he could hear quiet whispering he paid it no mind. Maybe once he got back to his room he'd be able to work. If he couldn't, however, he didn't mind remaining in idle mode until he was called on again. The world could continue to move forward, but he wasn't supposed to wake up, so there wasn't a need for him to participate. As he went to turn his doorknob, his other hand was grabbed, his body pulled along by a force he couldn't control until he was looking into deep red eyes. "Nerd?" Remus asked, looking him up and down with a jerky movement that was very much like him. There was so much in him, fire, passion, a storm that Logan knew he could easily be encompassed and overwhelmed by. His grip was tight, and Logan didn't try to pull away until he felt it loosen.

"Was there something you needed Remus?" Though Logan hadn't necessarily been expecting Remus' interruption, he certainly wasn't surprised by it. This was rather normal and he found it better to give Remus exactly what he wanted. It would bore him and he would walk away.

"Yeah, something's wrong, I can't hear your thoughts." Remus was poking and prodding at him as if he were an experiment, but Logan continued to stand still. Honestly, he barely felt it, his body mostly reacting on instinct when Remus stabbed him in the side with one of his nails. The only thing that lingered was a curiosity sitting in the back of Logan's mind, a question he asked without truly thinking about it.

"Is that something you can normally do?"

"Intrusive thoughts, and just about everyone has them, even if they are just little ones, but you sound blank, and your eyes look glossy." He got far too close, into Logan's personal space barely a breath away. Logan didn't flinch.

"I'm not certain why," he said, and he thought he was being honest but Janus appeared in the shadows next to him. There was a brief silence between the three of them as the 'deceitful' side looked him over.

"That's a lie," he said, taking a step closer. He gently took Logan's chin, holding it still so that he could look into Logan's eyes. For the first time since he woke up, Logan felt the icy grip of fear pull at him, causing his body to shiver as he stepped away from Janus. He couldn't get far, he back against his own door. He hoped that would be it, not wanting his numbness to crumple in front of anyone else. He had been enjoying it, he had been thankful not to feel.

"What happened?" Janus asked, trapping Logan so he couldn't step away.

He didn't want to answer, he didn't need anyone to know, but Janus' eyes were piercing. Logan didn't know it was possible to freeze from fear and burn from shame at the same time. Even more now he wanted to disappear.

"I woke up," he whispered, voice quiet as he searched for his door handle. Janus and Remus were both staring now, and Logan could feel the question falling off them. Despite the echoes of pain now loudly screaming in his mind, the terror of finally being known only for it to be at his worst, Logan straightened his shoulders. They were both asking the same question, and what more did he have to lose?

"I woke up and I wasn't supposed to."

The other two froze as they seemed to process what they had heard, fear filling both of them as they looked to one another. Logan took this as his opportunity, turning his door knob and sliding inside. The numbness was gone, replaced with everything he had been fighting to ignore. It was overwhelming, it was too much for him to bare. Logan sat down on his bed before falling over, curling up tightly on his new sheets. He could hear the pounding on his door but he ignored it. He ignored everything he could ignore. There was work to be done, sitting on his desk where it had been left last night, where it had been left this morning; it would still be there tomorrow. 

Logan curled up, closing his eyes tightly as if it might protect him from the noise inside his head. He just wanted to sleep again. He wanted to disappear. He knew it wouldn't work, he had already tired that. Maybe tomorrow he could pretend to function as a normal human being. Maybe tomorrow numb wouldn't be better than existing.

Or, maybe tomorrow he wouldn't wake up.

Tag List: @simplestoryteller @fantasticfangirl21 @joylessnightsky @melaniidarling

#Untypical Creations #Sanders Sides #Sanders Side fic #Fanfic #Logan Sanders #Patton Sanders #Roman Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Remus Sanders #Janus Sanders #Depressed Character #Logan Angst #Attempted suicide #depression #disassociation

[kaibacorpintern]

yugioh isn't "good" i.e. its hardly a cowboy bebop or NGE or FLCL or mushishi but if anyone was like "it's bad" i'd be like be quiet. kaiba's about to summon obelisk out of the fucking ground

#millennium world sucks in so many ways. virtual world resists sense-making #battle city suffers from the wildly uneven relative power of the character motivations #the ceremonial duel is thematically indecisive and contradictory #and. of course. JOHJI #but yugioh is great. i fucking love yugioh #intern memo #edit: NGE is on this post because it's a masterpiece and rightfully described as one of the best anime of all time #a gripping and unflinching portrait of depression and alienation and the struggles of intimacy and loneliness

[nokkiart]

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."

This quote from Robin Williams has always stuck with me.

There's a reason I mostly make cute, wholesome art, even when things are dark and I'm crumbling inside. Its because I love making you all smile. And I hope you never have to feel as sad as I do.

#im having a rough day and decided to illustrate one of my fav celebrity quotes #helps to fight off the loneliness and depression a bit #genie youre free #genie #aladdin #disney #digital #artists of tumblr #illustration #art #character design #painting #robin williams