#did someone see this post on social media/tumblr and just decided to put it in this episode??? it's the part where leah and bucky talk about

[rbbrbikerthorp]

Meeting Mick

In the centre of London, a 22-year-old junior office clerk named Gareth found himself trawling through his email inbox once again. For such a young lad, he was already fatigued with the tediousness of routine.

He had been conventional all his life, descending from a lineage of monotony. His father was an accountant who was coming up to retirement - a greyish man who wore greyish suits, his grandfather had been an accountant and he was pretty sure his great grandfather had also been in the profession. “It’s in our DNA, numbers run in our blood,” the words of his dad would echo around his head.

As a teenager, Gareth tried to rebel, well he put a bit of effort in to trying to rebel. First of all he let his hair grow, then he got a number 2 at the barbers. He bought a pair of DMs with some of his savings but never wore them for fear of what his mother and father might say. Once he came home ten minutes late for dinner, which was enough for his father to take him on one side and lecture him on the importance of timekeeping.

Anyway, let's get back to the present. Gareth got home early evening after another dull day in the office. He prepared a nice healthy meal of grilled salmon and steamed vegetables. After washing up, he decided to check his social media feeds, not that he was a prolific user of social networks, but at least they were a doorway to 'other worlds' that offered some escape.

As he was scrolling through Tumblr one profile in particular caught his attention. The profile belonged to someone calling himself 'Mick', an older man who proudly identified as a Skinhead Boss.

Gareth just stared at the profile picture; he studied it from top to bottom; his overarching thought was that this was an older guy who didn't give a f**k. He lost himself staring at the shiny black boots, which contrasted with the white laces and the arms covered in tattoos. Gareth then clicked on the profile and immediately pressed the 'follow' button.

He scrolled through Mick's blog and found himself getting more and more aroused at the pictures, which included from videos of lads getting their heads shaved, pictures of skinheads in full skinhead gear, groups of skinheads drinking and even photos of skins getting pierced and tattooed. The posts included many skinhead transformation stories as well as a few articles about skinhead culture, which Gareth read with interest.

Gareth really wanted to message Mick, and he pointed the cursor but kept hesitating because, to be honest, he felt a bit stupid. The voices in his head told him not to bother, Mick is a hard, tattooed skinhead and why would he want to chat with someone as boring and vanilla as you, Gareth?

After deliberating for many minutes whilst continuing to look over Mick's blog, he managed to silence the voices momentarily finding the resolve to send a message. He clicked on the icon and noticed the green dot, so Mick was probably online. After a lot of thought he decided to keep the first message short, "hey there, love the blog, love the gear," and pressed the send icon. No, he thought in a moment of regret and as the voices reasserted themselves, why did I type that? After a few minutes, and much to Gareth's surprise, the number 1 appeared on the messages side-menu. Expecting a "get lost" or "Eff off back to your boring, mundane life," he clicked to see what the reply was.

“Oi oi m8 thx. I didn’t think I’d be your type. Just seen your profile pic you look like just a conventional clean-cut lad." Reading this, Gareth was rock hard. He’d never spoken to a skinhead before and the thought of chatting with one was already driving him crazy. He thought very carefully about what to type next. “Ha ha, well yes, but skinheads - they're something else,” and he pressed send. Mick replied straight away “Thanks. I know you’d look good with your head shaved, wearing a nice tight pair of bleachers and all booted up lad.”

Gareth had often wondered what his life would be like if he had taken a different path maybe as a tradesman or a workie, even a punk or skinhead but it would never work, plus what would his parents and friends say. He quickly typed a reply, “Ah, I’d love to but I don’t think I could - I’d be a terrible skinhead,” and clicked on the send icon.

Gareth was starting to feel stupid again for initiating the conversation with Mick - but before he cold wallow in his foolishness he received another message, which had a much firmer tone to it “Listen lad, you WILL make a perfect skinhead. I CAN make it happen m8. I'll be in the White Hart pub on Grange Road at tonight 8 - be on time. If not, we won't chat again. It's a one time offer."

Having read the message, Gareth noticed the green light disappear - Mick must have signed out.

Gareth didn’t know what to do. This skinhead he’d spoken to for all of five minutes was willing to take him 'under his wing' and make all his dreams come true. Was this a set-up? Was it all one big joke? Was he being foolish turning up in a pub some stranger had mentioned

In that moment Gareth was 'paralysed' Should he carry on as Mr Conventional or take this opportunity to escape the monotony and drudgery of routine? Well there was only one way to find out.

After nearly an hour of procrastination he decided it was worth the risk and he would go and meet Mick. After all nothing was going to happen in pub full of customers? With a mix of excitement and apprehension, Gareth put on a pair of jeans, a plan blue t-shirt and a his coat. He opened Google Maps and searched for The White Hart and followed the directions.

After a twenty minute bus ride and ten minute walk he arrived at The White Hart. He paused for a moment. This looked like any other pub he'd seen in the city. Was he really going to enter a pub frequented by skinheads? Was he about to meet the man he'd been messaging on Tumblr? He was about to discover that this pub, adorned with memorabilia reflecting the skinhead subculture, would become the backdrop for his transformation.

He walked through the double doors and entered the tap room. He was immediately met by the sight of three skinheads standing at the bar. He checked them out; they all had shaved heads, some dressed in green or black bomber jackets, some just in t-shirts or Fred Perry polos and wearing skinhead boots; some black some red/brown.

Standing for a moment, just inside the doors (close enough to make a quick retreat should it be necessary), he took in the atmosphere. He looked around the room, trying not to catch anyone's attention. However, a few of the skins had noticed the new lad enter. Gareth was aware of several faces looking in his director, some seeming to sneer at him in contempt. He imagined they were thinking "what are you doing in our place?" After all he was a normal looking, average 22 year old in the middle of a pub occupied by tattooed, pierced, and booted skinheads.

Gareth got a sense that tension was building, but at the same time he was very aroused. He'd never been so close to one skinhead, let alone a pub full of pretty hot looking skins. He glanced at his watch - it was almost 8 o'clock - so finding Mick was his priority.

Gareth was feeling intimidated by the many eyes focussed on him. Believing Mick would be somewhere in the pub meant he was able to dig deep and find the courage not to run out through the door through which he entered. As he walked around, he noticed a skinhead standing at the bar smoking a cigarette. He always thought that smoking was banned indoors - and that included pubs - but this skinhead didn't seem to care. "You look out of place my lad - don't think you want to be in here!" he said taking the cig out of his mouth.

"Well, erm, I, I'm supposed to be meeting someone here." Gareth stuttered a reply taking in the sight in front of him.

"Oh, is that so?" The skinhead started to smile. "And who is this person you're supposed to be meeting or do you just like being in a room filled with skinheads?"

Gareth was getting even more aroused. "No, erm Mick," he initially replied meekly, then getting his confidence back, "he's called Mick".

Suddenly Gareth heard a booming voice to his right, which he knew was aimed at him. “Boy, I've been waiting."

Gareth headed over to where the voice originated, very aware that the skinhead he'd just been talking to was still staring at him as he walked away.

"Good job you turned up lad." Gareth was mesmerised at seeing Mick in person - as if in a trance, he walked towards the man that would permanently change his life. With each step forward, he took in Mick's weathered face, shaved head, tattooed arms and, holding a metal baseball bat in his left hand. "Boy, I thought you might chicken out." Finally standing next to Mick, he laughed nervously; he actually was scared-stiff but at the same time he was so turned on by this older skinhead. “You wanna be a proper skinhead - just like ALL the lads around you, don’t you?"

Gareth turned around and looked around the pub - no one was staring at him now. Everywhere he turned he saw skinheads laughing, chatting, getting the beers in and even playing pool - it was the camaraderie that caught his attention.

All his life he'd been a 'lost sheep'; he'd been desperate for the kind of kinship he was witnessing. Yes this is what he wanted, and he would do whatever it takes to be accepted. He turned back to Mick, and more certain than he'd been about anything in his life, "Yes, YES, I want to be a skinhead."

"Good lad," Mick cracked a smile for the first time since they'd met in person. "I can make it come true boy. First, I should warn you that once you say yes, there’s no going back. So, you're absolutely sure about this?”

Gareth had never been more certain in his life, oh and had never felt like this before (not to mention the forming bulge that was hard to miss). “Yes, I really want this”.

Mick was relieved, he made it a mission to bring new lads into the skinhead world “good choice, I’ll make a proper skinhead out of you boy. When I'm done with you, you'll be a proud skinhead, following the skinhead code.” Gareth nearly erupted in his trousers, he couldn’t believe this was happening. Right seat yourself down, I'll get the beers in an we'll talk about your skinhead transformation.

In a matter of minutes, Mick returned accompanied by two other skinheads who sat down alongside Gareth. "This is Charlie and this is his boi Chris. Chris once had a boring life - he was a going to be a lawyer but he hated his life. He met first Charlie on Grindr and now they're inseparable; Chris now works for the council in the cleansing department. Lads, this is Gareth," he said, nodding in Gareth's direction."

Gareth nervously picked up his glass that had been put in front of him and took a big gulp of the beer. One gulp turned into two, three, four and in no time, he'd almost finished his pint. In doing so he'd plucked up the courage to initiate a conversation about what life would be like as a skinhead.

Mick was about to start waxing lyrical about his life when Charlie jumped in, having just finished his pint, "tell the lad how long you've been a skinhead Mick," turning to Gareth, "Mick also knows what it means to be a skin and how we watch out for one another. C'mon Chris let's get the next round in."

As they chatted over three more pints Mick regaled his life experiences and the subculture he had embraced since he started secondary school. He shared stories of camaraderie, rebellion, and talked affectionately about the unique sense of identity that exists within the skinhead community. Despite the age gap, a connection had formed between the two. Mick decided it was time to begin Gareth's transformation. "Right lad, follow me."

Mick put on what Gareth would learn is his black Harrington, he picked up his baseball bat and headed through a set of double doors. Gareth followed a few paces behind Mick heading down a short dimly lit corridor.

They walked through the door and entered a room with black and white tiles on the floor, three sides of the room had walls covered in pictures of skinheads, the other wall was simply a floor to ceiling mirror. In the middle of the room was a barber's chair.

"Right lad, take your top off"

Without a second thought Gareth complied. "Get in the chair." It was an order, not a request, which had to be obeyed. Gareth was about to take the first step and most symbolic stage his transformation to a skinhead.

Sitting in the old barber's chair, Gaz could only watch as Mick walked over to the shelf and picked up a set of clippers. Mick removed the guard that was covering the cutting end and turned to Gareth, ""this is it lad; in a few minutes Gareth will be gone. I'm going to transform you into Gaz - my Skinhead boi."

With that Mick pressed the on button on the side of the clippers; immediately he heard the familiar 'clack' sound echo around the room. Mick pressed the clippers into the nape and worked his way up the lad's head. With a deliberate slowness, Gareth's hair was stripped away. With each stroke, inches of hair fell on his chest and on the floor around the chair until it was all gone.

Gareth was more turned on than he'd been; at any time in his life. Nothing he'd done in his 22 years to date had resulted in the mild sweating, butterflies and raised heart-rate that he was experiencing as he stared into the mirror watching this tattooed thug denuding his head.

Mick could tell Gaz was enjoying the experience as he heard a little pleasure moan escape from his mouth. He ran the clippers over Gaz's head at least three times, ensuring there was only stubble left. Mick noticed Gaz staring in the mirror - it wasn't all he noticed. "Like what you see boi?"

Gareth simply nodded - his brain simply couldn't process the combination of his feelings and the sight of his shaved head in the mirror. He was about to touch his head when Mick interrupted, "No you don't boi. I'll tell you when you can touch your head."

Mick then walked over to the sink and turned on the hot tap. When the water was steaming hot, he grabbed a towel and wet it thoroughly. He squeezed the towel removing the excess water and placed the very towel on Gaz's head; leaving it for a few minutes.

This gave him time to grab a can of shaving foam. He completely covered his boi's head in foam. He grabbed a new Mach III razor and started the next stage of the transformation. It took a few minutes to shave away the stubble from his boi's head and make him as smooth and shiny as a baby.

Gaz sat there frozen in disbelief as each stroke of the razor revealed another patch of scalp completely void of hair. As Mick finished up, he produced a handheld mirror to show the back and sides: “what do you think boi?”

Gaz didn’t recognise the person staring back at him - he was starting to look like a dumb thug who’d grown up on a council estate and spent years getting in trouble with the law. Not some twenty-something who had grown up the perfect, but very boring, nuclear family. “Yeah, this is perfect, just how I wanted to look”.

"It's only the beginning of your transformation lad. Now we need to get you dressed. Stay there." Mick ordered and walked over to a cupboard ar the back of the room.

Gaz didn't want to move. He was transfixed by the skinhead he saw in the mirror - so much so that he didn't hear Mick calling to him.

"Get over here boi!"

Gaz came back to reality and jumped out of the chair. He walked over to where Mick was standing. It was a cupboard full of boots, jeans with bleach splashes, t-shirts, polo shirts and bomber jackets.

For the second time in as many hours, Gaz was enthralled by the content in the cupboard - as he stared at the many pairs boots on the shelf he was almost drooling. "Right lad," Mick said jerking Gaz out of his boot gazing, "we can get you started with what's in here. You'll need to get more in time but that can wait till you start yer new job."

With that Mick began to outfit his boi in classic skinhead attire. He started by handing Gaz a t-shirt wich the boy slipped over his head, then came a pair of very tight fitting jeans with bleach splashes - bleachers as they are generally known. As he put them on he could sense blood rushing towards his groin area. Seeing this Mick smiled; Gaz smiled back sensing he was blushing. As he finished buttoning his bleachers, he saw the jeans had been cut off just below the knee - he would soon find out why. Next, Gaz was handed a pair of white(ish) football socks. "Get them on your feet."

As Gaz was putting his socks, he looked up when another skinhead entered the room. He was a bit younger than Mick but older than Gaz; his arms covered in tattoos and a huge ring in his nose and both ears pierced, "is he ready Mick?"

"Not quite Al, he's got his boots to put on an lace properly." He turned to Gaz, "for now you need to pull your socks over your knees." When Gaz had done as instructed, Mick put a pair of black 20 hole boots with white laces in front of him. He sat down and began talking him through tightly ladder-lacing his boots, first the right foot then the left.

In no time at all Gaz had ladder-laced his boots.

"Stand up lad - look in the mirror!" Mick instructed, "how does that feel?" He didn't need to ask - the lump in the boi's bleachers was there for all to see.

"i...," Gaz was stuck for words. After a few moments he spurted, "I can't believe what I'm looking at," as Gaz found himself feeling a sense of belonging he had never experienced before.

Mick was pleased with the transformation so far. He offered Gaz a cigarette. “Sorry, I don’t smoke”. Mick threw Gaz against the wall “lesson one, you don’t get the choose what you do and don’t do anymore. Skinheads smoke and now you're a skinhead so that means you're a smoker too. I want you to smoke a pack a day boi”.

For the first time since he walked into the pub Gaz was intimidated - especially knowing there was another skinhead in the room watching. Gaz gingerly took the smoke from Mick and lit up. It tasted awful and he was trying his best not to cough after every inhale.

“You’ll get use to it boi. Give it a few weeks you won’t be able to get out of bed without sparking up” Mick laughed. This is Al by the way. He's a tattooist - he's going to make your transformation more permanent.

"Right Al, he's ready for the next stage."

Al smiled, "come slong me boi."

Gaz followed Mick and Al out of the room, and out of a side door in the pub. Even though he'd worn his Doc Martens on a number of occasions, walking in 20-hole boots felt so different. To start with the leather was new and the soles of were solid and heavy. Mick and Al were heading off and Gaz had trouble keeping up. Eventually the two older skinheads arrived at a tattoo studio, with Gaz arriving a few seconds later.

"Right here we are. It's time to finish the job. Al's gonna give you your ink and we'll get some metal into you too,"

"Yes boi," interjected Al, "in the chair, take your shirt off and we can get started."

Gaz took off his shirt and sat in the chair.

"I think you should light up boi," Mick instructed, holding out a pack of cigs. Gaz took one and lit up. Even though it was only his second cigarette, he was doing better at not coughing every time he inhale.

"Right Mick, so just as we talked about earlier?" Al asked.

"Yes, just the ones he can't hide - the ones on his knuckles, hands, neck for today, then over the next few visits he can get his sleeves done and then you can work on his back.

Gaz's heartbeat was rising rapidly as he was listening to what was about to happen. The transformation so-far was reversible, but the moment the tattooing started there would be no turning back. Then all of a sudden he felt a wave of calm as he realised he wasn't forcibly being transformed. His lifetime wish was become a reality and Mick and Al were facilitating his deep desires.

Al set up his equipment and began. As the needle buzzed, skinhead symbols etched themselves onto Gaz's skin – a commitment to a lifestyle that was rapidly becoming his own. The letters S-K-I-N and H-E-A-D were tattooed onto his knuckles. Next, a swallow was tattooed on the back of his left hand, followed by his right hand. Then Al began the more painful and time consuming work of tattooing a spiderweb onto the left side of Gaz's neck and a pair of red DMs on the right hand side. Both would be positioned too high for Gaz to cover them up - even if that's what he wanted to do - and he didn't, ever!

Piercings followed suit, adding a further edge to Gaz's appearance. His ears were adorned with small gold hoops, then his nipples were pierced - wincing at the pain as the needle went through the sensitive skin.

"One more for today boi and then we are done. If you thought your nipple piercings hurt, then you'll really feel it when we get your septum done."

Mick wasn't wrong. However, compared to the continuous, vibrating pain of being tattooed, Gaz would describe the septum piercing as a quick, sharp pain. In no time at all he had a 14 gauge septum piercing with a gold ring though it.

"Your nose is going to be tender to touch and will probably take a couple of week to heal." Al told Gaz. We'll look at changing to a slightly bigger ring as Mick wants in a couple of months, that's provided it has healed well."

Mick walked over to Gaz and grabbed him roughly. Mick pressed his body up against Gaz and kissed him lightly on the lips. Then he thrust his tongue harshly into Gaz's mouth. Gaz had never kissed a man before, in fact he hadn't kissed many girls before. So he just let Mick take charge. Gaz found he loved the smokey taste of Mick's mouth too - imagining that his would taste the same as he become a 20-a-day smoker.

In that single moment Gaz felt a sense of liberation that transcended his previous life. There would be no return for once ordinary office worker. Instead, with Mick's guidance, Gaz secured his first manual job. Being a workie on a building site was a fitting occupation for his newfound identity.

In the end, Gareth's (now Gaz's) transformation went beyond skin-deep. He found a sense of purpose and community that resonated with him on a profound level. Mick, the seasoned skinhead mentor, had unwittingly become Gaz's Alpha guiding the 22 year old through a journey of self-discovery that led him to embrace a life that, just weeks before, had been unimaginable.

#ranger boots #tattoos #bleachers #conversion #skinhead #smoking

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒏𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅

I'm already deciding on part 3, so don't bother asking for it! do feel free to send in suggestions, characters for her to end up with, etc.

find part 1 here.

summary - after your breakup with steve, you change, no longer wanting to deal with your emotions. after months of your team not hearing from or seeing you, they decide to track you down.

warning - angst, death.

the gif and header I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

The Avengers were worried. Your friends and family were concerned. Hell, even your asshole of an ex was worried. It has been months since anyone had seen or heard from you, not since the day of the gathering. The house you and Steve used to live in was burnt to a crisp. Nothing was left. You had just disappeared. Steve ended up getting a couple of bruises and some broken bones that healed from your friends. They knew he was the reason for this.

You stood there, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies. You had been minding your own business, wanting to grab some food and return to your cabin, but these men. Oh, these men. Why did they have to think they were better than you? Why couldn’t they have minded their own business and left you alone? Was their entire species built on invading a woman’s life? Could they not just fuck off. You were so annoyed, looking around at the pathetic beings that lay bloody and lifeless. “Men.” You growl quietly before bending down to grab your bags full of food and return to where you call home. You guess this could be a time to think about everything you have done and that has happened. 

Sure, burning your house down was probably a bit over the top. But you wanted to get rid of the memory of Steve, and that was the only thing you could think of at the time. Some may call you childish or crazy for how you dealt with your emotions, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care anymore. You had spent years in a relationship with a man who was stuck in the past, who had thought you were only meant to cook, clean and bear his children. Steve didn’t really love you, he just wanted to use you, and it took him behaving like a child and throwing a tantrum for you to see he wasn’t meant for you.

It doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. In the end, you did love him. He did have a piece of your heart. The woman inside of you was grieving and hurting. She begged you to forgive him, make him see you were meant for him. But you were stronger than her. You know that no man could ever treat you like that. You know he wasn’t right for you, and you were on a war path. You groaned as you walked up the stairs and onto your porch. Making your way into your house, you walk past everything and to the kitchen, where you place the bags down. “Hello, people who do not live here.” You hum, facing your old team members, who look shocked as you are covered in blood. 

“Y/n?” Nat steps forward, looking you up and down, trying to determine if the blood is yours. You nod, digging into the bag and pulling out your food. You reach over and grab a fork as you begin to dig in. 

“That’s my name.” You give a sarcastic smile, chewing on your food. Your eyes move over everyone before focusing on your ex. “What’s he doing here? I thought you were too busy finding someone else to put up with your shit? Ya know…” You jump up onto the counter, swinging your legs as you glare. “Someone who would make a better mother than I would.” You smile before stuffing more food into your mouth, humming at its taste. 

Tony tilts his head, making his way over to you, unafraid. “You’ve changed.” His eyes move over your face, and yours connect with him. He smiles. “I like it.” He pulls you into a hug, “I missed you, kid.” You smile, patting his back.

“Missed you too, dumbass.” He pulls back, and the rest of the Avengers make their way over to hug you, letting you know how much they’ve missed you and how worried they’ve been. “So… Whatcha doing here? I won’t ask how you found me because that’d be a stupid question.” 

“As we said, we were worried.” Nat tilts her head, “were you attacked?” You shrug, chewing your food more. “Y/n?”

“Sorta, I guess? I don’t know. Men don’t know how to mind their business.” Your focus moves to the container in your hand, barely noticing the looks they give each other. “Yes, I killed them, and it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?! You murdered people! See, this is why I said what I said.” Steve growls, staring you down as he tries to make you uncomfortable. 

“What is it, asshole day?” You groan, tilting your head back as you feel a headache form. “Yes, Steven. I murdered people, and again, you’ve stated I wouldn’t be a good mother. How about you get over that?” You hum, shovelling more food into your mouth as you stare at him without emotion. You point your fork at him. “Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you're the problem? Maybe you're the one who wouldn’t make a good parent? I mean, let’s face it, you have issues. You can’t even keep anything good in your life, and when you do find something good, you try and destroy it because you are so self-absorbed.” You roll your eyes, ignoring how some team members chuckle as you tear the retired Captain a new one. “You think you're better than any of us? You’ve killed, too. You’ve done worse. So what if I did the world a favour and took out some pathetic men? What are you going to do? What is worse than you ripping my heart out like I meant nothing to you?” You place the food down, hop off the counter and approach him with a glare. 

And the dumbass decides to open his mouth. “Well, if you want my opinion–” 

“I don’t.” Your glare hardens, jaw clenching as you stop yourself from killing him, especially in front of your friends and family. “I have my own.” Everyone’s breath hitches when you step closer to the towering man. “Now, if you don’t mind. I don’t want trash in my house, so I suggest you find the door before I set you on fire.” You growl lowly, sending shivers up everyone’s spines before you turn and go into your bathroom, needing to get the blood of the useless off of you. 

Once you finish showering and changing into comfier clothes, you return and stop when you notice everyone bar one, still here. “Oh, you guys didn’t leave?” You look over and see Wanda preparing a feast in your kitchen while everyone else makes themselves at home around your cabin. You look around to make sure Steve isn’t hiding around a corner. “Huh, I guess trash does know how to take itself out.” Your head turns as you hear Tony laugh, nearly falling out of his seat.

“Oh, kid. You don’t know how much I missed you and your sarcasm.” He sips the very expensive whiskey that you may or may not have stolen from him. “Morgan’s missed you too, especially how you’d teach her your sarcastic ways.” You smile softly, accepting a glass from Natasha as she walks up to you. 

“I’ve missed her too. I’m sorry for not rushing over when she got hurt.” You take a sip, leaning into Natasha as she wraps an arm around you. 

Tony shrugs. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologise. She had help plus. She isn’t even your kid. You shouldn’t have to apologise for not rushing to someone else’s kid.” He rubs his forehead, “It’s not your job to do that. Sure, when you are on the field. I get it because that’s our job.” Tony points at you. “Don’t let Captain tightass get to you. You’d be a wonderful mother.” 

You smile, “Thanks, Tony. Always one for wise words.” You smile when Wanda comes around and kisses your cheek softly, mentioning that dinner’s ready. You all head over to the table and sit down, feeling a pair of eyes on you. You turn and notice Bucky staring at you with a soft smile. “What’s up, Buck?” 

He shakes his head, “nothing. I just want you to know that I tried talking some sense into him, and when he didn’t listen and we found out the truth of your disappearance, we kicked his ass.” You giggle, shaking your head at the image. Bucky flashes a proud smile at making you laugh. He’s happy you’re smiling and loves his best friend, but Steve didn’t deserve someone like you. You deserved the world, and he knew the rest of the team was thinking it.

“Thank you, you guys didn’t have to do that. I know you’ve known him longer than you’ve known me, but I appreciate the love you’ve shown me.” You thank them, feeling loved even though deep down you feel broken. Once dinner was over, they said their goodbyes and left, promising that they’ll come and see you again. You were left alone once again. Left in your thoughts as the broken woman inside you pounded against your heart, she wanted out. She wanted to cry and grieve the relationship you once had. But anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. You walked into your bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror. The person staring back at you wasn’t who Steve had left. She was different. “How could you have been so stupid?” You spoke to her, watching her mouth move like yours did. “Why did you fall for him?! Why did you give your heart over?!” You screamed, your fist flying forward and shattering the glass. 

You were better off alone. Maybe one day you could open your heart again, and maybe one day you’ll find the person right for you. But right now, you needed to find yourself, find the woman you were without him. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

part 3

#imyourbratzdollwork #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers #steve rogers angst #steve rogers au #steve rogers drabble #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers series #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x fem!reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #marvel fic #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans blurb #chris evans character #chris evans characters #chris evans drabble #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fan fiction

[ryuusei-ryka]

I emerge from my grave to post a theory about MILGRAM

Hello hello everyone! I don't know how many of you will see this post due to my avoidance of social media these past years and thus my absolute ignorance about every possible change in this site.

ANYHOW let's get down to business.

I am going to write this post because I made my boyfriend (who does not use tumblr) catch up to MILGRAM's second trial and while I was teaching him about some fan theories he said something that I'm not sure I'll believe, but BOY isn't that interesting. So I thought it would be cool to share with other people and hear their thoughts.

Now, as the cool kids say, theory under the cut (?).

A necessary premise to do is that this theory is built on another one (that I can't find so please if you happen to have the link to the post, give it to me so that I can put it here!) that says Kotoko's murder is actually an indirect one.

If I recall correctly without missing anything important, this thesis exists due to Deep Cover being so vague about the murder and on a specific official picture, this one:

We can clearly see Haruka, Muu, Shido, Amane and Mikoto on one side and Yuno, Fuuta, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko on the other. Being that the first column murders are all direct (choking, cutterknife in the gut, dissection, crashing head with a mace/bat) and the second one's are all indirect (abortion, cyberbullying, toxic love, miscommunication), Kotoko being there could imply that hers too is an indirect murder.

I'm not fond on this theory tbh (just based on my guts and my perception of the girl), especially because here they're all just arranged to make a "snake" following their numbers (Haruka on the bottom left -> Yuno on the bottom right -> Fuuta besides her higher on the right -> back on the left side with Muu -> up left with Shidou... and so on, I hope the gist's clear skfvnfk). Surely there is a reason behind the "snake" arrangement given how MILGRAM is so keen on hidden details, but the direct/indirect murder thing? Not my two cents (but it'd be super cool to be proven wrong of course).

Another thing worth mentioning for the sake of this post is the very first (?) theory about MILGRAM, aka Es as the 11th prisoner. I don't want to be negative, but I'm not fond on this one either- that's just because it would be so predictable that, eh, it'd make me a bit sad.

SO, all this premise is to get to THIS POST's theory.

What if the real prison pairs are 0102, 0304, 0506, 0708, 0909 and 1011? Let me elaborate a bit.

Every couple from 0102 to 0708 has allegedly (MILGRAM may prove everything wrong of course) one indirect and one direct murder, fact. At the same time we all know that prisoner 09 is a system, so there are at least two people in there, one being "clueless" Mikoto, one being "violent" John (I'm putting it simply, I'm not symplifying everything due to disrespect, I swear).

So, theory is: what if Mikoto's system represents both direct and indirect murder, while Kotoko represents direct murder because Es (aka we) represesents the indirect one?

I've seen a theory stating that the real prisoner in Milgram is not Mikoto, not John (as we have seen in their first VD), but it's actually Midokoto (not elaborating because I'm pretty sure you're all aware of the threekoto theory). That'd be because even if John may be the one doing the killing (not considering it may very well be Mikoto himself tbf), Midokoto most likely is the gatekeeper of the system. That means HE is the one in charge of deciding the alter that fronts, thus letting John/Mikoto swap and, well, crash someone's head with a bat. Knowing Milgram as far as we've seen it, it's not absurd that it would consider Midokoto the "mastermind" of the action, having then the "culprit" of indirect murder and the one that phisically did it both in one body.

So then, Kotoko is very likely (at least in my opinion) to have killed in a very phisical way as well. We still don't really know her story nor her victim but, assuming it's not the CEO son she reads about nor the guy we see on the floor both in HARROW and Deep Cover, vigilantes usually take very direct actions as far as I know. It's easy for someone so blinded by their belief to take a step further and, well, overstep.

Es, on the other hand, is the guard of Milgram, but it's pristine they know... as much as the prisoners, basically? They hear Jackalope and all, yeah, but... they're still part of the experiment/whatever it is (so maybe this theory may work even if Es is not the 11th prisoner, as long as they're part of the experiment). The first trial ended substantially well if we think that everyone survived, but we know nothing about what will happen now that the second one has ended. Probably (hopefully) Kotoko won't be able to lash on the unforgiven prisoners, but what if Haruka manages to k*ll himself? That'd be a death "caused" by Es judgement... fulfilling the indirect murder requirement [and making everyone who ever voted a ~ murderer ~ (to Milgram's eyes, ofc)].

I don't know if any of this is plausible nor anything about Kotoko's murder, so it may very well be just something silly... but I thought it was super interesting, so I wanted to share it!

Feel free to reply/write to me to share your opinion!

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #yuzuriha kotoko #milgram theory #es (milgram) #theory #kayano mikoto #mikoto kayano #john (milgram)

[starberry-cupcake]

To add to the pile of questionable tumblr behavior as of late, and as a psa at large:

I searched a mental health related tag last week and I got immediately a message from a bot called Koko. It intended to put me through to "people who are interested in mental health topics". In this tumblr message format, they didn't immediately facilitate hotlines, specific mental health care services or professional help, just "people".

I didn't respond to it. It's a bot. I didn't block it because I was interested to see where it would lead, but I didn't talk back. In the following days, it kept sending me messages, trying to get me to use their service.

Among the messages, they told me how it works, not that I had asked:

So, it sounds like a recipe for disaster in the making to me. My personal mental health information being passed through random tumblr users and getting a reply from someone who, not only isn't a professional or part of any sort of mental health care group I could get informed about, but they also will provide unsupervised answers to topics of great importance to someone who was looking into related tags.

But, tumblr user thewindandthewolves seems to endorse it, so let's check them out and see what they have to say.

Well. I'm posting the responses in chronological order, but I guess the raving review from a tumblr user was actually a kid who didn't give them consent to use their words as endorsement. Great look.

Today, I got a new message. Again, unprompted.

Second review person has apparently deleted their blog, so no background information on that one. If that's you, let us know.

I decided to look at their blog and read people's comments on their posts. The tumblr userbase came through with the receipts and linked this very detailed article about not only the bot and its founder but the sketchy study it uses as a foundation:

Here's an important quote from this article regarding the study in which Koko is founded as a clear notion of what consent means to them:

Morris [Koko's founder] declined to say whether he thought the subjects had meaningfully consented to the study. He told Motherboard that his goal was to establish a new best practice, where he would be able to transparently show his results to social media platforms. However, when asked if he felt that the experiment was transparent to the participants involved, he said he’d needed more time to think about it. 

It's not a tough one to respond to, Morris.

I suggest you to please read the whole article but the way in which these people perform verbal gymnastics to try to justify the lack of consent from people involved is alarming.

About Tumblr's involvement, the article didn't get comments from them on it:

Stony Brook's IRB [Institutional Review Board] and multiple people tasked with overseeing the IRB did not respond to multiple emails from Motherboard about the study or the process. Facebook, Discord, and Tumblr responded to Motherboard’s initial emails but did not provide comment. Telegram did not respond to Motherboard’s request for comment. 

The article also read the fine print of the Terms of Service, the only thing they provide as any type of consent to users, and the previous situation of using tumblr user posts without them knowing is illuminated further:

The current dynamic between Koko and its users more closely parallels the relationship between most tech companies and their users than that between a mental health provider and patient. Its Terms of Service, for instance, state that, “You grant Koko a fully paid, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive, transferable and fully sublicensable right (including any moral rights) and license to use, license, distribute, reproduce, modify, adapt, prepare derivative works of, publicly perform, publicly display, and otherwise fully exploit Your Content.” 

As an editor, that sounds more like a US release agreement form for intellectual property, which should not be used as any form of mediation for personal data. It also alarms me to no end that the "Content" in question, in the example we have was, according to OP, a post they had made on their own blog about Kokobot and not a response or quote provided to Kokobot itself which, in tow, signifies that the data collected could come from anywhere and not only what you actively provide them. But what do I know.

I did more digging by myself and found even more articles denouncing the behavior of this bot and company, this being another interesting one:

This one included the following thing about the peer-counseling aspect of it and the use of AI to craft the supposed "people" responses:

During the AI experiment—which applied to about 30,000 messages, according to Morris—volunteers providing assistance to others had the option to use a response automatically generated by OpenAI's GPT-3 large language model instead of writing one themselves (GPT-3 is the technology behind the recently popular ChatGPT chatbot).

Apparently, Koko has been around for a while, with articles discussing it as far as, at least, 2017. Still, I had never before received unprompted, unwanted, invasive messages from it on tumblr until now.

If you post or search tags related to mental health, it's very likely that you'll get this bot in your messages or you already have. There are many layers of breach of ethics in this situation, in my opinion, each one worse than the last one.

Before using it or sharing any information at all (with any bot ever), I'd advice you to look into it beforehand. I know we are the "trust no bots" website and the fake ladybots have taught us well on how to spot them and protect ourselves, but this one in particular seems very dangerous to me.

I can't talk about whether or not this has helped anybody, I'm not coming anywhere near it, but the sole concept of this sounds like a bad idea. The advice provided doesn't seem to come from selected professionals the platform is endorsing legally but by random people (and/or AI) who are not only not trained for it, they aren't being compensated for work made for a program, which is probably making good money out of all the social media platforms it's working with. It also allows them to not be responsible for the advice given, to some extent.

Even if people with mental health concerns can discuss things between them in very productive and helpful ways, there isn't genuinely transparent communication if it's anonymously mediated by a company and there isn't a proper professional care that can accompany them from someone who is trained to facilitate it. You can talk to a friend without having to provide data to a company that could identify you since, according to the first article:

There is, further, no easy way to wall the collection of such data off from actual subjects, as anonymized datasets can often still be traced back to specific individuals. (A 2019 study found that 99.98 percent of Americans could be correctly re-identified in any dataset using 15 demographic attributes.) This is why privacy experts have been vocal about the exploitation of data privacy and the unreliability of an anonymous dataset. 

I'm not here to tell anyone what to do or not to do but I'm here to share this because I know that I would appreciate the information if someone else had come across it instead. Make decisions with all the information you can get.

Throwing a wild idea for the hellsite but maybe staff and ceo should be a little less occupied in persecuting trans folk and more into reading the fine print of the unethical companies they're signing with, who are exploiting their userbase's mental health, especially that of literal children whose quotes are being used to endorse their business without any legal consent, aside from a terribly worded TOS. But what do I know.

#long post #luly rambles #mental health #tumblr dot hell

[wygolvillage]

a new year's resolution

well, as of 2024 i’ve decided i will no longer be posting on tumblr... this shouldnt be the hugest surprise since ive been pretty critical of staff, the over-monetization of the website, the site culture, and the user experience for the past year and gradually reducing my time spent scrolling the ol’ dashboard- ive even mentioned my intent to eventually leave; well, that eventually is now! gradually ive found myself analyzing the effect that using tumblr for 7+ years has had on me, and the effects of social media in general.

ive never had to write a goodbye letter like this before. while ive joined and left several online platforms over the years, its always been a gradual fade in interest rather than a conscious decision to stop. never have i used a platform as long as ive used tumblr, over 1/3 of my life. ive grown up with tumblr, for better or worse. how do you write a goodbye for that? i guess ill have to try my best. because as important as tumblr was for me, ive recognized the way its hurt me too.

finding other avenues of online self-expression particularly has made me think a lot about this. when i edit my website i feel accomplished, happy, and content, feeling i have put something of myself out into the world, my seed to grow and garden to tend. when i scroll through tumblr i feel as if my brain is mostly idle, and when i do emotionally respond its often out of anger or annoyance, because anger = engagement and social media sites like tumblr WANT engagement. particularly because i have OCD ive found myself upset by certain aspects of tumblr discourse culture, as well- it is basically the Scrupulosity Website and much of the way i react to and interact with media has been colored by my years spent absorbing the viewpoints of said Scrupulosity Website! i even used to look up discourse topics on tumblr just to anger myself on purpose, which is a dangerous road to go down, to build up Enemies and Factions in your mind- this is how discourse culture works. the culture of tumblr teaches you to see the world in black and white, and to feel like youre always in danger of compromising your moral purity or being attacked by the morally impure. If You Don’t Reblog This You Are A Bad Person. even as someone who nowadays tries to stay away from discourse entirely, its still there in the back of my mind, because the way we interact on this website is colored by this. when im online i dont actually want to be angry all the time! in fact i like putting my effort towards more positive stuff. but additionally: tumblr made me unhappy but it also made me an addict

and yeah social media addiction sounds like a silly boomer thing to complain about but one thing i noticed when i started trying to curb my time spent on tumblr was that opening the site was damn near compulsive. we all know those “open tumblr, close tumblr, open tumblr again immediately after” memes but that did describe my behavior pretty accurately. the draw and allure of social media feeds is powerful, if i accidentally click the youtubes short tab ill find myself a half hour later scrolling through random shit i don't care about and asking well how the hell did i get here? i dont even like that stuff! tumblr is no different no matter how much the site tries to coast on the reputation of being the last social media that's a “remnant of the old web” and “has no algorithm”. i like my chronological dash but it is equally as addicting to scroll through the thousands of people ive followed over the years, as it is to scroll through the algorithmic feeds of youtube shorts, because that's just social media!

and kicking addiction is pretty damn hard. before 2023, i made two separate attempts at reducing my tumblr usage and both fell through within a week due to that addiction. for reference this current bought of thoughts about reducing my tumblr usage and making my online/irl balance more healthy, around the start of 2023 when i began working on my website and its taken me an entire year to wean myself off of the hellsite, bit by bit. theres a point where it stopped being a conscious act, and even as i was carefully whittling down how often i use tumblr with extensions like leechblock i still had that compulsion go off multiple times every day, its a really strange feeling. but now that ive found so many more ways to express myself online, i just feel more whole now... i guess what im saying is that when i post on tumblr my first instinct is to complain or wallow about something, when i post on my own handmade blog on my website i always want to talk about things that excite me or make me happy! and its been such a tangible change in the way i think and act and im certain its because of the way social media and tumblr have their own “societal expectations” and structure that is built to feed on this negativity loop.

and a lot of the biggest shifts happened when i began immersing myself in the ideals of the web revival, while creating my own website. finding things that genuinely interested me and niches i want to occupy made me so much happier. i know we make a lot of jokes about having mutuals we never talk to that mean the world to us and i do think that is indicative of something. like, when i post on a forum full of strangers i am engaging with more “face to face” (or the digital equivalent) communication than i do with years-long mutuals. how genuine are these connections, this dashboard, the enjoyment i got from that meme post ill forget in 10 minutes? (not to say that i don’t genuinely care abt my followers and mutuals. ykwim?) i can still get all the things i enjoy out of tumblr in a more curated form via rss feeds; ive been so much more proud of what i post and create and code on my website. what am i here for? i gradually realized that i am losing absolutely nothing when i “miss out” or block tumblr on my phone or what have you.

since starting working on my neocities site ive felt so much creative drive. ive created whole interactive essays and worlds and games and writings and so many things i could never host on social media. my website is a place of my very own, and ive been learning the value of focusing on what i put out into the net compared to what i take from it. its made me feel so much more fulfilled when i spend time online.

and let's not forget about staff. i have broader issues with how automattic in particular has gone about running the site. the ads only took up more and more of the dashboard, and every month it felt like there was some new paid feature doomed to never take off. all while the user experience gradually degraded. using the site without browser extensions to fix the ui and block the ads and tumblr live and all the other shit they threw all over the place makes it look like its ridden with viruses, and i think the fact that its become so normalized to feel like we have to stay in spaces that become increasingly hostile to us, even while the internet is so vast, is really strange (i mean, i also thought that way at first). but Anyway. so much time and effort was spent on features no one liked or wanted in some desperate attempt to get a little extra money, while staff members get in public fights with users who complain about getting monetization shoved down their throat. its so openly pathetic. the merch store had mostly mediocre designs and the digital tumblrmart is absolutely full of useless digital goods with free alternatives. considering this is a userbase that gladly donates to other sites donation drives for hosting costs (i.e. ao3, wikipedia, internet archive), i am shocked that staff never considered the obvious answer of a fucking donation drive once a year or so! the ceo telling people with concerns about the ads being unsafe for epilepsy to “just pay the ad free subscription” is one of the most disgusting things ive ever heard from someone officially representing such a platform. do not be fooled by the reputation tumblr has cultivated: all that it cares about is making money from you. tumblr is “in danger” because it can't turn a profit- because a profit is all they care about!

so why stay here when im happier elsewhere, apart from the addictive compulsion? that's what ive been thinking through for nearly a year, realizing that i have no reason to, and that weaning myself off of the addiction is in my best interest. i can create and blog and have fun online and connect with others and follow other peoples work all without the need for tumblr anymore! and i think id be all the healthier for it.

over the past year ive truly fallen in love with the internet again and ive loved putting myself out there, unrestrained in ways i havent felt since i was very young. but nonetheless ive learned a lot on tumblr, ive had some of the worst and best experiences of my online life, and i dont doubt that i would be a much different person if i had never been a tumblr user for as long as i was. but i had to break out of this shell eventually.

i keep going over this wondering how i can express every feeling in my head, how i can word everything just a little better, how i can make the perfect goodbye. but i think this will have to suffice.

you can still keep up with me online here:

-explore my website: i keep it consistently updated and im always adding new things and writing new posts on my blog! you can even speak to me directly on the site! if you sign my guestbook or use my chatbox ill try to respond :) if theres anything on this list you do id like it to be this one! i worked hard on it! you can even send me chat messages on my homepage! just keep in mind it may not display everything right on most mobile browsers, but it should be mostly navigable...

you can also subscribe to my rss feed. if you don't know what rss is, it allows you to use a feed reader to keep up with updates from sites all over the internet! my rss feed will notify you whenever ive made a new post on my blog or made an interesting edit on my site id like you to take a peek at :0 convenient, right?

you can also email me at [email protected] to message me directly. if you prefer im also “wygolvillage” on discord

thank you and happy new years :) thanks for seeing me off as i sail to a new sunrise <3

[diabolikpersonals]

I am not certain yet that I want to call out specific blogs (last time I did that it got WEIRD) but it has been a while since we've had a discussion about reposting art as a fandom, and someone asked me to comment :')

I've been in the fandom long enough to see art reposting cause plenty of problems, and I've also been a victim of it myself, so I hope I can help someone understand.

So, fanartists, right? You might not be aware if you're not an artist yourself, but a lot of artists dislike it when you take their work and post it somewhere else. Plenty will have something like "DO NOT REPOST" written right there on their page. Even if they don't, that does not mean that they allow reposts.

There are plenty of reasons why an artist might feel this way, but to name a few common reasons, it could be an issue of credit or publicity: imagine you put hours of work into a piece of art, but another account posts it and they're the one who gains interactions, followers, etc. Even if that account mentions you as the artist, people aren't necessarily going to seek out the original artist. They're probably going to interact with the repost that's right in front of them. Can you imagine that feeling? Like, "Why is this person building a social media presence based on my work, and the work of other artists?" Interactions aside, it's really frustrating when you put a ton of effort into something and you're not recognized for it.

To name another reason, an artist might only want their work to be published in one particular place. This is often the case for me too, actually; I only want my dialovers fanart on tumblr, and I never post it on my twitter account, because I don't want it there. Another medium but still relevant: I don't want my youtube videos exported to other sites because if a lot of people view those reposts, I lose money that I would've gotten if they had just watched my video. Maybe there's a certain type of user that you don't want your work to be exposed to, or maybe you just don't like a site and you don't want your work there. This is something an artist should be able to decide for themself, and it's not right for you to put their art in places they didn't consent to putting it.

It's a case-by-case basis, of course, because different artists have different feelings about it, but generally, you need to obtain permission from an artist before taking their work and publishing it yourself. You can just ask! It's totally normal to ask. Worst they can say is no. Plenty of artists do allow reposts, and if they say that they allow reposts, then go for it!! But if they don't have "reposting is ok" written anywhere, and if you didn't ask permission......then that's not okay. You need to respect artists a little more than that.

Because you know what artists do when they don't feel respected? When their boundaries are crossed, and people post their work without permission?? A lot of times, they delete their stuff, they move their work someplace else to try and evade reposters, and sometimes they stop drawing for a fandom altogether. If you've been in the dialovers fandom for a long time, this has absolutely happened multiple times, whether or not you were aware of it. If you know which repost acc we're discussing here, you might've seen some of their posts say something like "artist is no longer active." And it blows my mind, because I was there when they became inactive, and more than one of them because inactive because people reposted their art! So, besides being disrespectful, it also leads to less dialovers fanart.

But anyway, most of you reading this probably don't repost art, so the more useful thing I can tell you is that I hope you can support artists by interacting with them rather than repost accounts. If you see a repost acc and like the art you see, and if you want to see more of it, seek out the artist's original account instead.

unfollow art repost accounts. seek out and follow artists instead. they are out there. they are awesome. change da world… my final message. Goodb ye.

#text #also just to be safe uh. dont like dogpile on anybody ok. u can talk nicely to people online #I've found that a lot of times it's a lot more effective to just politely ask reposters if they have permission lol

[rose-riot-johnson]

Well my Tumblr Peeps... I didn't think I was gonna write this, however because of atleast a couple of the fanfics I recently written, a fanfic or a few I have read, some thinking for maybe the last few days or so, I just felt inspired about writing a fanfic about a particular Blue Lock character I have written about before... And I'm starting to feel maybe I can write more about Rensuke Kunigami (fanfic wise)😃👍While I was gonna write a fanfic about the reader being a fanfic writer for a crossover fanfic I was thinking about writing and I did have thoughts of writing that for a couple different Blue Lock characters I have yet to write about, however my heart is telling me to write about the reader being the fanfic writer with Rensuke Kunigami in this type of fanfic⚽😁👍

*Note: From just realizing that I may have misspelled any part Rensuke's name for the 1st fanfic I have written about him, I sincerely apologize for it😅I get it's a minor thing to apologize, however I just figured I'd mention it😅And this fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

⚽📝Being A Fan Of Someone, Who Turned Out To Be Your Biggest Supporter📝⚽((Adult) Rensuke Kunigami x Female Reader)

Genres: Fluff, Cuddling, Kissing, and Fanfic mentions in the fanfic (Warning⚠️: Manga Spoiler(s))

When you and Rensuke Kunigami first met eachother, he was a professional football (which some people call soccer) player and you became a huge fan of his. After every football match (which some people refer as soccer (ball) game), considering you madesure to attend the football matches (some call it soccer (ball) games) he was playing at, you talked to him and he also has been opening up to you more about his time in the Blue Lock program, his opportunity to walk into the "Wild Card" door, what happened while he was in there, and the aftermath of returning from the "Wild Card" door. While he admitted to you that this is how and why he became the football (some people call it soccer) player that he is today, however he has shown to treat you very kindly, so the both of you decided to exchange cellphone numbers and both you and Rensuke have began your relationship together, since then.

A few years went by, as you and Rensuke Kunigami are still together in your relationship with him. You're even wearing your engagement ring he got for you, as the both of you have been engaged (up to reader's imagination how long ago Rensuke Kunigami has proposed to you (no longer than four years and 6 months ago and no shorter than five months ago, however)) ago. The thing is he thought he knew everything about you.

One day while Rensuke Kunigami was on vacation from professional football (some people call it soccer (ball)), as he notices you left your (laptop or cellphone screen on), while confused what social media platform you are on. While he doesn't usually snoop into your business when it comes to your stuff on your laptop and your cellphone, however he did start to get concerned about another name that is part of what you're trying to put in a post, so he figured he wanted to try to get to the bottom of what you're trying to do. Once he started to snoop on your (laptop or cellphone), he notices that name he was pertaining a character you like and he clearly read the word "reader" in it.

Once you got out of the bathroom you caught Rensuke Kunigami snooping on your cellphone, as you were confused (especially about if you should be upset or giggle or etc...), knowing it's very unlike of him to snoop into your personal stuff, including your laptop and cellphone. You then asked, "Rensuke... What are you doing, snooping my (laptop or cellphone)? Am I doing anything wrong?". He then grined and answered, "Ofcourse you didn't do anything wrong, cutie... I was just a little concerned about you, considering that I saw a name, which I thought something happened between you and a particular person, so I had to see, if someone was bothering or anything and come to find out, you seem to be writing a fanfic about a character x reader type of fanfic... I kinda find that cute... I didn't know you write fanfics on (social media platform up to the reader's imagination)...", before (closing your laptop or putting your cellphone down).

The next thing you did was replied, "I still feel that's not a good reason for you to snoop on my (laptop or cellphone), however I appreciate your concern... Anyways I'm glad you liked that I'm writing the fanfic, Kunigami... I'm not exactly the greatest at writing fanfics, however I really wanted to write them for fun, feeling inspired by other fanfic writers with the fanfics they have written, and I wanted to try to make everyone else's days and/or nights from writing the fanfics I have written and wanted to write like the other fanfic writers made my (day and/or night) with the fanfics they have written when I first started reading fanfics through (social media platform up to reader's imagination), since this was my first time reading fanfics in general, honestly...", before you started blushing. Rensuke Kunigami then replied back, "I actually find your reasons of writing fanfics pretty cool... The only thing is you can't just act like you're not confident with your own writing, sweetness... I actually think you're amazing at the fanfics you write from what I saw on your (laptop or cellphone), not too long ago... Especially with (up to the reader's imagination what character the reader is writing about) for this character x reader fanfic you're working on writing about. So, if writing fanfics is really your passion, then don't give up on it... I'm sure you will evolve, as time goes by with writing fanfics, considering I feel you are an amazing fanfic writer...", before he walked up to you and kissed your forehead to make you blush more. He then said, "Now let's start on some cuddle time, sweetheart... And by the way... I like it when you blush... I think it's cute...".

After Rensuke went inside the bedroom room you share with him, you followed him in the same room he went in. Once the both of you got on the bed together, he held you from behind, with his arm wrapped around you, as if you're his little spoon and cooed, "I missed you, so much, (Female Reader Name)... I've been waiting a while to have this moment with you...", before kissing the side and the nape of your neck, then you turned your head around just enough for both you and Rensuke to peck kiss eachother on the lips, as you replied, "I missed you too Rensuke Kunigami... I've waiting to have some time with you, especially cuddle time...", proceeding to kiss the left side of his facial cheeks. The both of you then had hours worth of cuddle time.

Once the both of you finished your cuddle time together, Rensuke Kunigami decided to cook supper, while you checked your cellphone to finish up with the fanfic you were working on. As much as Rensuke Kunigami doesn't mind you helping him with cooking, he rather that you relax while he's cooking. So you finished (and posted) the fanfic you were working on before you decided to set the table for him, since you figured he's cooking and you still want to help him with atleast something pertaining supper time.

After both you and Rensuke started eating supper together the notification sound came from your cellphone and it was multiple times your cellphone was making that sound. You were hesitant to check on your cellphone, however he smiled and said, "You can check on your cellphone, beautiful... It's not like anything bad is happening and you don't check on it often when we spend time together... I insist, (Female Reader Name)...". "Are you sure, Kunigami?", you asked. He replied, "Yes, I'm sure...", while trying to encourage you.

Once you checked your notifications, it turned out it was the notifications that was coming from the social media platform, pertaining the post of the fanfic you have written about the character you have written about. You have noticed alot of praise (and likes, shares, etcs...) pertaining the fanfic you have written about. "I take it you had some success with the fanfic you were working on today, (Female Reader Name)?", Rensuke Kunigami asked, smiling at you. "Yes, I did... And you turned out to be right about what you said about me as a fanfic writer, Rensuke...", you answered before the both of you looked into eachother's eyes, then proceeded to kiss eachother.

While you have always been a huge fan of your fiance Rensuke Kunigami, since the first time you have seen him playing a football match (to some people it's soccer (ball) game), you were surprised that he became your biggest supporter when it comes to you writing fanfics, when he first found out about you writing fanfics. Once you and Rensuke finished eating supper and tooken cared of the dishes, he picked you up and had your legs wrapped around his waist, your arms around his neck, and his arms around you (and behind your back), as the both of you passionatly kissed eachother even after both you and Rensuke Kunigami landed on the bed inside the bedroom the both of you share together (Rensuke Kunigami on top with your back laying on the bed). After the both of you finished kissing, you touched his face and he touched your face, as he said, "(Female Reader Name)... Not only you're the best thing that has ever happened to me... Aside from the day we met, the day we exchanged cellphone numbers, and the night I proposed to you, today must be one of the best days of my life... I love you very much, (Female Reader Name) and thank you for being a huge fan of mine, for all of these years...".

You replied, "You're very welcome Rensuke Kunigami and thank you, very much... I feel the same way with today, the day we met, the day we exchanged cellphone numbers with eachother, and the night you proposed to me... I'm truly grateful for you turning out to be my biggest supporter when it comes to me writing fanfics, today... And I love you too, Rensuke Kunigami.", as you and Rensuke, then gave eachother one more deep kiss before cuddling together again, while he gets you to lay on top of him (with your head on his chest). Before you fell asleep you cooed, "Good night, Rensuke... I love you...". Rensuke then replied, as he whispered in your ear, "I love you too, sweetie... And Good night, my beautiful (Female Reader Name)...", while he holds you into a tighter hug, while trying to keep you comfortable. Before he lets himself fall asleep, he madesure you're sleeping peacefully, as he enjoys watching you have a peaceful slumber and while you fall asleep, he carefully pets your head, until the both of you fall asleep.

📝⚽The End⚽📝

I do hope you enjoyed this Rensuke Kunigami fanfic my Tumblr Peeps📝⚽😃👍Anyways, if I wrote stuff that didn't make sense or might not, I do have an explanation (or so on) why I wrote the fanfic out the way I did😅 While I did want to write about Rensuke finding out the the reader writes fanfics, I also wanted to write about about Rensuke and the reader kissing, cuddling, and other stuff, because that's something that has been in my head, if not just similar stuff to this, and I really wanted come up with more than a few paragraphs for this fanfic, so I decided to mix atleast the reader writing fanfic idea and the kissing, cuddling, and other stuff pertaining the reader and Rensuke idea right in the same fanfic💡I also figured I'd come up with an ending for this particular fanfic, as well😃👍 I'm really considering writing another fanfic or so with Rensuke in the fanfic(s) and I basically have some more ideas pertaining when I do write those ideas out fanfic wise💡📝⚽😁👍

#rensuke kunigami x reader #rose riot writings #rose riot johnson #fanfic written by rose riot johnson #blue lock kunigami #blue lock #kunigami rensuke #rensuke kunigami #rensuke kunigami x you #blue lock manga spoiler(s) #Rensuke Kunigami fluff #rensuke fluff #kunigami fluff #kunigami x reader #blue lock rensuke #rensuke x reader

[penissirius]

Seo Changbin VS Feelings

Seo Changbin x male reader

SUMMARY: Changbin isn't the best at feelings and emotions. Misunderstandings happen because he's stupid lol.

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: 3 aussies and a devil bunny fight dwaeki over golden retriever child

SPECIAL THANKS TO: @ldrei Thank you for encouraging me to finish this! This is dedicated to you!💕

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: AJ is my OC and he's used as the M/n of this story! Miyeon is my partners OC, she is AJ's sister, and is dating Felix. I actually have 2 full stories one a AO3 chapter story and the other a non-idol social media AU that ill post here. If you'd be interested, please let me know so i know at least someone is looking forward to those stories T-T

AUTHORS NOTE: So, I wrote the beginning of this for my English essay and it was the only essay I've gotten an 100% and a good comment on so I went to Tumblr and my partner asking if I should finish it and publish it because I liked it and my teacher loved it (her Not knowing it was a Stray kids fanfic I wrote just for the essay lol) after some convincing I finished it and now here it is. I would like to apologize because this was finished in December, and I promised I would post it after it was done and never did. I hit a really big depression block in my life, and I didn't want to do anything but now I'm back! Just a heads up I wrote this for my Victorian Drama Essay so don't hope too hard for a so happy ending lol. Have fun reading!

WARNINGS: Arguing, Angstish Ig, Insecure thoughts, breakdowns, panic attacks, yelling, violence, bAd WoRdS

FEMALE ALIGNED PLEASE DNI <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AJ was on his way to the JYP Entertainment building to meet up with his boyfriend? Close friend? Friend with romantic benefits? AJ didn’t know but Changbin had said he had something seriously important to talk to him about, AJ had hoped this was when Changbin would finally ask him out for real. Oh, boy was it the opposite of that. AJ texted his best friend and sister, Miyeon, that he was on his way to JYPE and that if she needed a ride home then he could give her one. When he was done texting her he speeded off eager to see the man he loves, he also had serious but good information to share with him. 

    Meanwhile, at JYPE, Changbin is pacing back and forth in his studio panicking and talking to the one person he could for love help, Hyunjin, which honestly wasn’t that good of an idea but he was better than the rest of their friends. “God Hyunjin do something! Give me advice or something idiot!” Changbin says finally standing in one spot facing his group member while tugging on his own hair. Hyunjin stood pushing Changbin into the seat behind him, “First of all sit-down and get your hands out of your hair. You’re stressing yourself out and the stylist will be pissed if you pull any of your hair out.” Changbin took a deep breath and put his hands on his lap. “Now I can’t really help you seeing as this is your own very stupid plan. Everyone in the group is dating someone in some way or another. Why are you purposely putting yourself through this? Even Chan has someone. Chan has more game than you!”

    Changbin sat in silence for a few seconds before looking at his tall dramatic member. “I don’t want to take any chances, what if it’s not what he expects and leaves me? What if we date and get found out? He’s not an idol. He’d get way more hate and things like that! I couldn’t do that to him.” Hyunjin just shakes his head. “So instead of letting him make that decision, you decided to break his heart and make the decision for him? Well-”, Hyunjin started walking to the door, “You do that but don’t expect me to help protect you when the three Aussies and Lee know find out what you did. Even tho I think your stupid for giving up a guy who does so much, some that you don't even know, for you. I kinda understand why you're doing it. You better not hurt him, he’s the sweetest when it comes to his friends. So don’t make it worse than it has to be.” That's all Hyunjin said before walking out. 

    The shorter man is left sitting in an empty studio by himself, left with thoughts, “Dammit! I didn’t even think about the AJ protection Squad™️ that would be after me! If AJ doesn’t kill me himself they sure will.” Just then his inner voice said ‘Remember you used to be one of them, but now you’re about to shatter his heart just because fans and other companies believe it's wrong for you to date.’ Changbin shakes his head arguing back, “It’s more than that. Us being together could damage the careers we both worked so hard for! If people were to find out he’d get non-stop hate! I’m just protecting him!” He would definitely sound crazy if anyone else was around to hear him argue with his self-consciousness. He shut up quickly when he heard his phone ding with a message from AJ saying he was on his way up to the studio. 

    When AJ got inside the studio he hugged the shorter man happily before sitting in the armchair that Hyunjin was previously sitting in, looking towards Changbin with a bright smile. “Hi, Hi Baby Binnie!” Changbin swore that AJ’s beautiful smile would be the death of him one day. Changbin gave a nervous smile back, “Hey AJ” “So what serious thing did you want to talk to me about?”AJ tilted his head confused, still smiling. The idol was starting to panic not knowing how to talk about it without hurting AJ’s feelings. “Didn't you say you had good news? You should go first!” AJ laughed, smiling less than before, “Well whatever you wanted to talk about seems to be making you stressed and upset so maybe you should go first and I'll tell you the good news when you're feeling better!” Changbin sighed, AJ was right it's better to rip the bandaid off now rather than give himself more time to think it over and panic. 

    “Alright, please promise that you won't take this personally and you won't get mad at me.” That brought a small nervous giggle from AJ, “I've never gotten mad at you before, I'm sure it's not that bad!” Changbin took a deep breath and finally said, “I don't think we can be a thing anymore- we should just stay friends…” It was silent for a minute before Changbin looked up at AJ and saw that he no longer had a smile on his face. AJ paused, it was like his whole world stopped when he heard Changbin say those words. Changbin had never seen AJ speechless or that upset in the year that he's known him. AJ sat paused and baffled, Changbin didn't want to be with him anymore let alone be officially together. “AJ?-” Changbin was cut off when the taller one turned to him blank-faced and asked, “Why?” The idol was confused and because of all the panic earlier his brain was no longer working. 

    “Why what?” Changbin asked stupidly. AJ scoffed, still looking at him with the same blank face that Changbin had never seen before, likely none of his friends other than his sister had seen him with a blank emotionless face, that just wasn't him. “Why all of a sudden do you not want to be with me? How long have you been waiting to tell me? You let me believe this whole time that you actually liked me and there was a possibility that we could be together. So WHY is my question?” Changbin took a moment to gather his thoughts before replying. “Us being together would be a risk. It’s not that I don't like you, because I do! It's just that our careers could be ruined if anyone were to find out. I know that being an artist and dancer is very important to you. I don't wanna be the reason that all falls plus if I get any scandals I might damage everyone in Stray Kids' careers as well.” 

AJ stood angry but still pretty much blank. “Alright, guess it’s my fault for thinking that you were different and didn't care about what everyone else thought. I'm sorry for thinking that maybe we would be able to be together and happy like my sister and Felix. And more importantly, I'm sorry that I went through all this trouble for you. I stepped out of my comfort zone and went through so many panic attacks for you. Turns out it’s not enough. Guess I'll see you around Changbin.” AJ slammed a piece of paper down on the desk in front of Changbin before storming out to go find his sister and then go home. Changbin, saddened and confused, tried to call after AJ but he was already gone down the hall and into a different part of the building. Changbin got up and looked at the paper that AJ left, it was crumbed and there was a corner torn off at the bottom. It was a printed-out picture from JYPs staff to AJ saying that he passed all the auditions and was officially a JYP trainee. Changbin stared at the paper in shock, feeling more like an asshole than he originally did.

AJ walked from Changbin’s studio downstairs to the practice room that he knew his sister and Felix would be in and slammed the door open, way harder than he meant to, and looked at his sister. “Oh, hey AJ- What's wrong? Who did it? WHO hurt you? Whose ass do I have to beat?” Miyeon immediately noticed the difference in her brother's face despite his trying to act like his normal self. “Nothings wrong, I'm just ready to go home.” AJ said, walking over to them. “Nope, something is clearly wrong, sit. Sit your ass down. Family Circle.” Miyeon said, looking up at him from where she and Felix were sitting on the ground. “Since when did we still do Family Circle? And how is it Family Circle if it’s just me, you, and Felix?” AJ said, sitting in the half circle they formed. “Shut up now tell me who hurt you, imma beat their ass!” Miyeon said. “We beating ass? Should I call Chan?” Felix said, pulling out his phone. 

“There is no reason to call Chan. Don’t call him, I said I was okay!” AJ said trying to reason with the two Aussies but trying to do that is like talking to a wall. “Call him!” “I’m calling him!” Miyeon and Felix said after staring at AJ for a sec. AJ groaned defeated, leaning back on the floor still sitting with his legs crossed. After a couple of rings, Chan picked up the call. He put the call on speakerphone.  “Felix? What’s up dude, I thought you and Miyeon were practicing, what’s up?” “You need to come to the Micheal Jackson dance room!” Miyeon said over the owner of the phone's shoulder. “Why did something go wrong?” Chan said and you can hear shuffling on his side of the phone he gets up grabbing some stuff. “Nothings wrong Hyung, they're just being dramatic!” AJ yelled from his spot laying on the floor. “Someone hurt AJ. We’re trying to find out who so we can beat their ass.” Felix said into his phone. 

“Really? Why didn’t you start with that! I’m on my fucking way. Should I get Lee Know? I’m gonna get Lee Know.” You hear Chan set his phone on his desk and open his door screaming down the hallway in the dorms. “MINHO! LET'S GO WE GOT A CODE GAY DOWN!” AJ turns to them shocked “You guys have codes for this shit?” Felix looked back at him, “Yes. We are the AJ Protection Squad and we take our job very seriously.” They heard stomping before they could hear Minho’s voice clearly. “A code gay down? Whose ass am I beating? Where’s my child?” “At the Company let’s go.” You hear them both shuffle around before Chan turns to his phone. “We’ll be there in 5.” Chan says before hanging up. “The dorms are 15 minutes away!” AJ said, still confused about everything going on. “As Felix said we in the AJPS take our job very seriously.” Miyeon said looking at her brother, still bothered by the fact that someone made him upset. 

AJ decided to no longer ask questions and stared at the ceiling sadly still thinking back to what Changbin had said. Miyeon and Felix just looked at each other and at him knowing that something was wrong and they were determined to get to the bottom of it. In 5 minutes exactly there comes a worried and already angry Chan and Lee Know burst through the door. ‘If they are already pissed before knowing what happened, how will they be after?’ AJ thought, still staring at the ceiling, not moving. Lee Know and Chan move to join the makeshift ‘Family Circle’ before they all turn to AJ. “Alright now what’s wrong and who did it? And no bullshit answers AJ or I swear to god.” Lee Know says. They all looked more calm and worried rather than angry so AJ just decided to tell them, also because they probably would never leave him alone until he told them and it would feel better to talk to them about it. 

AJ took a deep breath before sitting up and looking at all of them suddenly feeling shy when he realized that they were all staring at him. “Well, this morning Changbin texted me saying that he wanted to talk and that it was something serious so we agreed to meet at the studio. And I don’t know why but a small part of me was hoping that this was when he’d finally ask me out or something, after all the mixed signals he was giving about whether we were in a relationship or not. But I should’ve known that wouldn’t have happened.” AJ looked down at his lap holding back tears, now that he was saying it all out loud the sadness and rejection is hitting him in waves. “I was gonna tell him the good news after he said what he needed to say but when he said what he did I was no longer in a happy mood. It felt like my whole world shattered-” By the time he got that out he had already started crying letting the tears fall into his lap. 

“He had said that he doesn’t think we should be a thing anymore and that we should just stay friends. And that hurt! It hurt so much but I still hadn’t processed how much it hurt until now, all I felt was anger. All I could think of was to ask why. Why did he let me believe that there could ever be something between us? Why did he let me get my hopes up just to crush them? Why had I been stupid enough to believe that he would like me back and wanna be with me? And he spouted some bullshit answer about how he actually did like me but us dating was a risk and that because I wasn’t an idol if our relationship was found I’d get so much more hate and shit. That it could ruin the careers we both worked so hard for. That he didn’t wanna be the reason I couldn’t be an artist or dancer anymore. And that if he got any dating scandals he could possibly ruin Stray Kids' career as well.” 

At this point, AJ was ugly sobbing and barely getting his sentences out correctly. Lee Know moved until he was directly behind AJ pulling the younger into his lap and wrapping his arms around him, setting his chin on the crying boy's shoulder. Felix and Chan moved to each side of him, Felix grabbing one of AJ’s hands and Chan setting his arm on his thigh. Miyeon moved to sit in front of her brother holding his other hand. The only thing on all four of their minds was comforting their youngest yet tallest friend and beating the shit out of Changbin later. AJ, although a pain in their ass some days, was their baby, the maknae of the friend group, and the only one who could get Minho to be this soft and cuddly by will. Not even Jisung had that pleasure. Hell even I.N. loved the younger and gave him affection. He was always happy and had something stupid or sassy to say, always there to make them smile on their worst days, and to see him crying aggressively over something one their friends did really pissed them off. 

AJ took some shuddery breaths trying to calm down to no avail before speaking again. “All I could think of in the back of my head was that I wasn’t good enough. That I’m still not good enough. That he was just trying to protect my feelings by not telling me that he didn’t like me that way. I'm not an idol so I’m not good enough. That I was stupid to think that just because all my friends got their happy ever after that I could get mine! I’ve tried so hard! I did so many things and it still wasn’t good enough! The amount of panic I’ve gone through during this whole audition process, the way I’ve unhealthily thrown myself into school and practice so I could get a better shot of getting accepted. The stupid strict diet I let that staff member put me on cause they thought it would make me look better. Because I wanted to be better! For him! I wanted to look better, dance better, rap better, be better. All for him. Just to find out my efforts were for nothing. That I’ll never be good enough!” 

At this point, AJ was working himself into a panic attack and Felix and Miyeon were thankful they grabbed his hands earlier because they know how bad his attacks can be on himself. They were all shocked none of them knew about the things he said. Miyeon knew about the school and practice thing and would try to pull him away whenever she could but that’s because she was used to him being a workaholic and thought that it was because of the constant auditions, not Changbin. Felix knew about the panic attacks because he’s helped him calm down from a few but none of them knew about the diet. He already has a bad relationship with food so the diet might have made it worse. AJ started falling deeper into panic and Lee Know pulled him closer whispering calming words in the boy he saw as his little brother's ear. They all huddled closer hugging the younger, letting him cry, and doing little things they knew calmed him down. 

Eventually, AJ calmed down and his cries turned into small hiccups and tears. He was so thankful they made him talk about this rather than him bottling it up and telling no one until he exploded and had a much worse breakdown. When AJ finally felt calm enough he lifted his head and everyone pulled away. Although he was squeezing Felix and Miyeon’s hands, leaning onto Chan’s shoulder, and refusing to get out of Lee Know’s lap, he was a lot calmer than before. He was very tired from so many emotions and crying. He was half asleep in Lee Know’s lap and leaning on Chan still. There was a long moment of silence before Miyeon spoke up. “You know I’m gonna beat his ass right?” The other 3 hummed in agreement. “Please don’t do that. I know I can’t stop you from talking to him but don’t do anything irrational. That’ll just make it worse.” AJ said in his broken sore and half-sleepy voice. “Can’t make any promises little Bro” Miyeon said, already standing up. 

“Just don’t do anything to have to go to jail, I don’t have bail money” AJ said before falling asleep fully. Miyeon leaned down and kissed her brother's forehead whispering, “later we will talk about that diet stuff.” She stood and turned to the other boys “Alright I have a Pig to slaughter and it won’t be the first time. Who’s coming with?” Lee know whipped his head to her, “you’ve done what?” “You heard me” was all she replied. “We all want to come but I don’t think it’s right to leave AJ alone so 2 of us should stay and the other 2 go.” Chan said, looking at AJ sleeping on his shoulder. “Alright, we’ll who’s coming with me?” Miyeon said. “I’ll stay with AJ, I will take him back to the dorms so he can rest and make sure he doesn’t try to do any work when he wakes. I also don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from fighting Changbin.” Chan said. Minho looked at the sleeping curly-haired boy and up at Miyeon. “I’ll go.” Lee Know reluctantly handed over the sleeping boy, putting him in Chan’s lap. “I’ll go to the dorm with Chris and make AJ’s favorite food and dessert.” Felix said from his spot on the ground. Chan handed Lee Know the car keys since they rode together and he and Miyeon would need to get back to the dorms. 

“We’ll drive AJ’s car to the dorm since I’m the only one other than Miyeon he lets drive it. And He was Felix and Miyeon’s ride home anyways.” They all nodded before Miyeon and Lee Know left the room storming up to the studios. Felix gathered his and AJs stuff while Chan picked AJ himself up. When they had everything they walked down to the parking lot and looked for AJs car. It wasn’t that hard to find with the obnoxious bright light blue color of it. Felix sat both of their bags on the floor in the backseat and got in on the right side. Chan set AJ on the left so he was leaning on Felix while sleeping. Chan got in the driver's side and started the car checking on the two younger ones in the back before driving off towards the Stray Kids dorm. 

Back at the company, Changbin is panicking. He feels so many emotions at once, he feels like an asshole, he’s upset about having to break AJs heart like that and overall he’s scared. He’s terrified because he knows that it’s only a matter of time before Miyeon or someone else shows up to beat his ass. He paces back and forth like earlier when Hyunjin was with him. “Fuck man what am I gonna do? I mean if I leave now there’s a possibility I can start running before they catch me- but where would I go? If I run, they're gonna be expecting me at the dorms and attack me then! I’m better off just staying here-“ As he finished saying that there were loud stomps and banging on the studio door, Changbin was glad he locked the door earlier. “COME OUT CHANGBIN YOU CAN'T STAY IN THERE FOREVER!” While Miyeon was shouting at him through the door, Lee Know looked through the keys Chan gave him and was happy to find a key to the studio amongst them. 

He pushed Miyeon slightly over and proceeded to unlock the door. Changbin visually panicked now, it was all happening so fast! He quickly ran to the other side of the couch and sat between it and the wall, knowing damn well his muscled ass was not gonna be able to hide fully back there. The two angry friends stormed in and Lee Know walked over to Changbin not knowing whether to laugh that he thought would work or just stare at him before he grabbed him by his arm and pulled him up to face Miyeon. The rapper looked at the angry sister in fear, the two scariest members of their friend group were currently mad and it was directed at him. Changbin should’ve said bye to his family when he had the chance. He opened his mouth to say something that would spare his life but before he could Miyeon delivered a hefty right hook to his face. ‘Damn that hurt like shit’ Changbin thought, grabbing his cheek. For a 5 foot girl, she sure does pack a punch but that’s to be expected from her seeing as she and AJ got into fights in high school. 

Lee Know gawked at how hard she hit him, not that he didn’t deserve it but goddamn he could feel that punch and he was behind Changbin still holding his arm. “You have exactly 5 minutes to explain why you did and said what you did to my brother and if it’s not a good reason I’m gonna punch you again!” Changbin quickly replied with pretty much the same thing he told AJ and Hyunjin, he was honestly terrified and looked everywhere but at her. When he was done Miyeon took a deep breath before punching him again in the face. Poor Changbin is gonna end up with bruises on his cheek and eye. “It’s a good thing we’re on a break right now. If we weren’t idols I’d leave more bruises than she did.” Lee know said smacking Changbin hard on the back of his head. 

“Listen I don’t care if you thought you did what was best or anything. You broke my brother. I’ve never seen him cry so hard he sent himself into a panic attack over someone. He loved you. He did everything for you. Originally I was supposed to be the only one auditioning and when I tried to talk him into it I stopped because I knew it would be too much pressure for him. But he did, why? Because he wanted to be closer to you.” Miyeon was raising her voice as she talked, her accent getting stronger, and the fact that the studio is soundproof definitely helped. “Do you know what I found out in the last hour? No? Then let me enlighten you. My brother worked himself into the ground with school, dance, and practice for you. He thinks that he’s not good enough. He let one of the staff members put him on some stupidly strict diet because she said it would help him look better! Why? Because he wanted to look better for you!”

Miyeon looked at him disgusted, “I trusted you with my brother's feelings and you broke him more than anyone had in the past. If you like him so goddamn much why didn’t you just date him! Instead, you lead him on. You’ve been all lovey with him, cuddling with him, taking him on dates just to outright turn him down and make him feel like he’s not good enough for you! Felix and I are dating and there’s no problem! Hell half of JYPE is in a relationship! Why are you the only one who is thinking so hard about your career and not the man right in front of you who would and has done literally anything for you! AJ is perfect and if you can’t see that then I don’t know what the hell to tell you. If this is how you're gonna treat anyone who has any interest in you your whole life. Then have fun being single and friendless because clearly, your career is more important.” 

Lee Know moved to stand next to Miyeon, rubbing her shoulder before saying, “We’re giving you one shot to make this better. If you fuck up even more so help me god Seo Changbin, Miyeon and I will not be the thing you need to be afraid of. You’ll have his parents and Chan after you at that point. You better make this up, but at this point, I’d be surprised if he even talks to you again let alone still loves you. If I were him I sure as hell wouldn’t.” Changbin looked at the ground in shock, sadness, and pain because damn those punches hurt. “I will make it better, I really do love him and I hadn’t realized how much pain I’ve put him through. Or how I was only really thinking about myself and my feelings and not his.” Changbin said, nodding. “Good, you have a week, and if he decides he never wants to speak to you again or doesn’t want to be with you. You can’t get mad because you fucked that up for yourself.” Lee Know said, looking at him. 

“I know and I take full responsibility. I definitely deserved the punches because I was stupid. And I wouldn’t blame him if he no longer wanted to be with me” Changbin looked up at them. “Not just stupid. You were a dumbass and full-on idiot. Now I’m gonna go back to the dorms and check on my brother. You are not allowed to even look at him until you’ve decided how you’re gonna fix your huge fuck up. Do you understand me?” Miyeon glared at the short rapper. “Yes ma’am” Changbin nodded firmly. “Good now sit and think about your mistakes” was all Miyeon said before storming out of the room to the car. “You really did fuck up and it’s hard to understand whatever stupid logic you thought you had but hopefully you make this right because he seems happiest when he’s with you and that’s all we want for him” Lee Know said looking towards the chair Changbin sat in. “MINHO!” Miyeon yelled down the hall. “That’s my cue to go. Don’t fuck up Seo Changbin” He said before he left the room. And so there Changbin sat left with his thoughts of how much of an idiot he is and how he’s going to fix it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I really hope you like it! If you did leave likes and comments! reblogs help as well! If you wanna read more of my shitty works you can follow me on AO3 @/penissirius ! If you’d like to see more of AJ and Miyeon and their Interesting Adventures in life in Korea and Becoming JYP trainees well you’re just in luck because the whole story of them is being written and made. Tho I will not post it until I have the whole thing finished which will be a while but I have a few chapters now! So be on the lookout for that! I will be posting a Social Media AU that is completely unrelated to that story so let me know if you wanna be on the tag list for it! Byeeeeee~

#stray kids x male oc #stinky stinky fic #stray kids #x male reader #changbin x male reader #changbin #i tried my hardest #stray kids x male #kpop idol #stray kids x male reader #seo changbin x male reader #kpop x male reader #idol x male reader #pls dont steal #penissirius.req

[chacusha]

My tips to new users to make Tumblr more usable

This is kind of random but I think Tumblr is one of those websites that hides a lot of its functionality from users and comes with default settings that makes it kind unusable (at least for me). So I've decided to collect some suggestions about things to do immediately in order to make Tumblr a much more usable website:

Most important: Put the content you actually opt into on your dash. First, go to Settings > Dashboard and turn off "Best Stuff First." In general, (1) I don't think it's good to let social media sites curate your content feed (they're not very good! you can curate your own content feeds!), and (2) chronological ordering is much more helpful for making sense of information. I don't know why you would want posts on a site to be presented in any other way. Please save yourself and make your dash chronological by toggling this monstrosity OFF. Also for the love of god, turn off "Include posts liked by the blogs you follow" and "Include 'Based On Your Likes!'" too. Other people's experiences might be different from mine, but when Tumblr first introduced this feature and I tried it out for a while, it was so predictable that every time I came across a post that made me viscerally angry and think, "How the HELL did this get on my dash?" it was always always some random post from someone I wasn't even following… So yeah, get rid of that.

Second, make the "Following" tab your default, instead of the "For you" tab. How to do this is not particularly obvious. From the Tumblr homepage (not settings), you need to find the tabs at the top of your dash (For you, Following, Your tags) and then click the toggle/settings icon to the right of those tabs. This will allow you to reorder your tabs. In particular, what you need to do is click the pin icon to the right of "Following," and this will set Following to be your pinned and first tab. By default, when you open Tumblr, your dash will show the posts of people you have actually opted into following rather than what Tumblr suggests to you.

Next, make sure timestamps on posts are on. This should be the default (despite what Tumblr says?), but if you don't see timestamps at the top of all posts, I highly recommend turning this setting on (under Settings > Dashboard). Knowing when a post was made is hugely helpful for understanding the context of the post, and I don't know why websites would allow you to hide this, really, unless they want you walking around with no sense of time or context, which uh… I don't recommend that social media experience!

Turn off endless scrolling (under Settings > Dashboard): Websites like endless scrolling to keep people from leaving the site. I recommend turning this off to make it more obvious how many posts you've scrolled through on Tumblr, to make it easier to find your place in older posts, and also to make the website just lighter to load. When I last used it, the Tumblr mobile app does not allow pagination, which is pretty typical of social media apps in general. Honestly, I recommend just not using the Tumblr mobile app at all. I've uninstalled it and aside from missing the convenience of being able to attach photos from my phone onto Tumblr posts, I really don't miss it…

Things that you may or may not be interested in:

Enable custom theme on (each of) your blog(s): So fun fact: If you don't have a custom theme enabled, then when people visit your blog when not logged into Tumblr, they will only be able to scroll through a few of the posts on your blog before being prompted by Tumblr to log in if they want to see more. This popup cannot be gotten around, and so people without Tumblr accounts or who are browsing on a device/browser without a login session just won't be able to see your posts. Personally, I do not like this behavior -- I like my blogs to be archives with useful permalinks that can be browsed by anyone. Anyway, you can get rid of this annoying prompt by going to Account > (select blog) > Blog settings and toggling that "Enable custom theme" slider. It doesn't really matter what theme you use (although there are a lot of options to choose from), just use a custom one!

Turn off "Shorten long posts" (under Settings > Dashboard): YMMV, but I personally don't find this setting very helpful as the maximum length for when it starts cutting off posts is pretty short and falls far short of what I would consider a "long post" that is inconvenient to scroll past. Instead, you may want to turn off this setting and create a filter for the tag "long post" (under Settings > Account > Filtered Tags).

Mature content: If you're interested in possibly seeing mature content, you may want to review your mature content settings (under Settings > Account) as by default, Tumblr is set to hide it entirely and doesn't tell you that it's hidden posts from you and so you probably just will not be aware this setting is a thing! Personally, I use the "Blur" setting.

Hiding content from users you don't want to see: As far as I can tell, if you see someone's posts in (e.g.) tag searches and would prefer not to see any of that person's posts in public places like that tag or appear on your dash by people you follow reblogging their posts, you should block them. Official Tumblr documentation does not say that this is a feature of blocking, but it is.

When Tumblr's functionality isn't enough… External tools such as XKit Rewritten provide a whole lot of QoL fixes to Tumblr's interface like making it easier to reply to replies, hiding posts you've already seen, showing how many new/unread posts are in tracked tags, showing all tags on posts by default rather than requiring you to click "See all," etc. For me, one thing I needed in order to make Tumblr semi-usable for me is hiding notes in tag searches (because I don't really need constant reminders that my tastes aren't aligned with wider fandom's tastes lol). I couldn't find a tool that does this, so I wrote a simple Tampermonkey script to do it for me.

Hope this helps new users of Tumblr, and feel free to add other helpful tips if you have them!

#tumblr #complaining about tumblr on tumblr #social media #guides for new users

[xavieryaa]

Making My Own Tumblr Year In Review

So tumblr is not doing the individual years in review for 2023 like they did the last couple of years :(

This is the first year I’ve really been active on Tumblr and used it as my primary social media, so I was really sad to hear that. But then I decided…why not do it myself?

I posted 1837 times in 2023. That’s 5 times per day.

1748 (95%) of my posts were reblogs, and 89 (5%) of my posts were original.

Blogs I think I reblogged the most? Not in order.

@yipeewahoo

@hoodie-sys

@94erz

@namchyoon

@heybaetae

These are just based on me cmd-f'ing my blog using the names of blogs I remember reblogging a lot. It's probably wrong.

My top 15 most used tags (not 5 because i love tagging and want to show more):

#bts - 1045 posts (yeah obviously)

#bts pics - 803 posts (yeah obviously x2)

#queue attack my heart - 691 posts

#memery - 312 posts

#namjoon - 308 posts (i am so mentally ill)

#hoseok - 167 posts

#jungkook - 166 posts

#seokjin - 138 posts

#jimin - 138 posts (i wrote down seokjin's tag first so i put it higher)

#yoongi - 119 posts

#fic & writing - 108 posts

#taehyung - 103 posts

#bts birthdays - 99 posts

#serious posts - 92 posts

#namjoonposting - 59 posts (my favorite tag)

By the way this was so fucking annoying to do. The archive does not show how many posts you have in a certain tag. For every month I counted the amount of rows in a tag, multiplied it by 8, and added in any rows that didn't quite get up to 8. Then I added all those months together. I had to do that for every tag. Tumblr why is there no easy way to see the number of posts in a tag.

My top 5 posts of 2023:

5. Luffy Tab - 20 notes

Still can't believe we just. got a luffy tab. i just woke up and had a luffy tab

4. BTS Post Search - 27 notes

As it turned out. the poster changed their name to something else so that's why i couldn't find the post from tumblr user soupmoths -- they were an entirely different person. oopsie

Also I ended up being able to reblog it! Someone tagged me!

3. 3D Rant - 32 notes

This post got me my first hate reblog <3

In case anyone is wondering. I still agree with everything I said here.

2. Porn - 99 notes

Not doing the big link preview for this one since that on its own is kinda nsfw. Minors don’t click that link.

But yeah. That makes sense.

Even though there’s only 5 reblogs people find it semi-frequently (especially the past few days, no idea why), so I guess it’s spreading somehow? Which makes me happy :)

The Reddit Post - 2.1k notes

Obviously that was going to be it lol, over 20 times the amount of notes than anything else. My notifications were Dying.

Also, this stuff wasn’t in the actual Year in Review(s), but I’m adding them in for fun.

I liked 21k posts in 2023.

I followed 426 blogs in 2023 (not including the accounts I unfollowed).

I gained 69 followers in 2023 (excluding porn bots and regular bots). Nice.

I started 4 blogs on this account, 1 main blog and 3 side blogs.

I gained 15 mutuals in 2023 <3

All this data was as of December 18th, 2023.

#xavi.txt #tumblr year in review #year in review #diy year in review #tumblr year in review 2023 #year in review 2023

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓, 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒓

🦇halloween masterlist - monsterverse masterlist🦇

warning - smut, slight manipulation, dacryphilia, knife/blade kink, oral, creampie, sort of loss of virginity?, nipple play, slut used.

18+ only please, the gif and headers I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

The sound of thunder could be heard from within the walls, a mad scientist leant over his crafting table as he peered down at his latest creation. His monster lurked within the shadows, watching with curiosity as his creator informed him of her. Edward would finally get someone like him, someone to call his own, but he felt his stomach twist as he watched Bucky, something deep inside was telling him he wouldn’t be getting her all to himself.

Bucky moved swiftly, reaching over to his machine as he worked fast. Needing to connect it to you in time of the lightning or else it wouldn’t work. As lightning cracked throughout the night sky, Bucky pressed something against your chest, bringing you to life. You shoot up, eyes wide as your chest heaves rapidly. Your gaze darts around until it lands on the man standing in front of you, his hair wild, eyes crazed, and a shimmer catches your attention causing it to fall to his arm. Something inhuman rests there, making you feel as though he is one of you, whatever you are.

Movement from the corner of your eye catches your attention and you move toward it, landing on another man. His hair darker and wilder, face scarred and what are thought to be fingers that accompany his hand are instead scissors. The sharpness of them causes you to feel a tingle between your legs, something unfamiliar, for you are new to this world. Your mouth opens and closes as you feel you want to say something, but no clue on how. The crazed man beside you jumps, causing you to follow. 

“It worked! My god, finally!” Your brows furrow, wondering what he means. His eyes connect with yours and you feel a flutter in your stomach, the feeling foreign, but so is everything else. “Welcome to the land of the living, doll.” His smile does something to you, making you feel as though you owe your life to him, but a grunt interrupts those thoughts. 

Edward lurks forward, eyes wide and innocent looking, but something darker hides between. “Mine.” His grunt brings back those strange feelings between your thighs, causing you to squeeze them together. He looks toward his creator, repeating. “Mine!” No hint of a question can be heard. 

Bucky rolls his eyes, ignoring his monster and eyeing you. He did in fact create you for Edward but seeing you now. So beautiful, so unknowing. It did something to him, could he really give you up? You were his creation after all. His silver arm moves forward to brush against your soft skin but is brutally slapped away by another. 

“No touch. Mine.” You were confused, but also something else. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but seeing two men openly make it known they want you, did something to your insides. 

“H–h–el–lo...?” You try and speak, your words come out broken. Your brows furrow and head tilts wondering if you had said that correctly, two sets of eyes watching you. You try again, “he–l–lo?” It felt like you were improving, and with the smile that was making it’s way onto the crazed mans face, you decided to try it one more time. “Hello...?” 

Bucky jumps again, clapping. “Brilliant! Just brilliant, doll! You sure learned a lot faster than Edward here.” He cackles, throwing his head back. Edward? So that was the scarred man’s name, your eyes fell onto him as you thought, and you noticed his cheeks turning a sickly pink colour. Was that normal? Bucky returns to somewhat normal for a crazy scientist and looks back down at you. “Right, where are my manners? I’m Bucky Frankenstein, I am the one that created you and Edward here.” He leans forward and there’s a weird thumping in your chest. “What would you like to be named, doll?” 

You think, not really knowing any name, but one does appear in your mind as if it’s an echo, a sign. Your mouth opens again, and you softly reply. “Y/n… My name.” Bucky beams and Edward nods with approval.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He winks, ignoring the glare from the other. Bucky holds his arm out, helping you off the table. “Come, I.” A throat clears. “We shall show you around and once you get comfortable, you can decide which of us you would rather.” It seemed quite mean, for him to make you choose when you didn’t even know yourself yet. They showed you around before leading you to your room and leaving you to get comfortable, for they would want answers later. 

A week had passed since Bucky had brought you to life, you had learnt more by going down to the library or listening to the stories he would tell. Your speech was improving, and you felt happier but there was one thing you were dreading and that was deciding between the two men. You couldn’t choose, they both had different things you loved, Bucky with his knowledge and Edward with his affection. You knew you were created for Edward, and that should’ve made your decision easier. But something in your gut was pulling you toward Bucky, knowing that even if you did choose Edward, he wouldn’t let you go. 

The dreaded day had come, you had walked into the library, wearing a new dress Edward had gotten you. (More like stolen, but the gesture was sweet.) You halted in your tracks as you noticed Bucky and Edward standing there, a wild look in the formers eyes and a soft in the latter's. “Hello...” 

“My dear doll. The day has come, do you have an answer for us?” Your palms felt sweaty, and your heart pounded in your chest, you had learnt these were nerves. You look between them, your mouth opening and closing, your chest feeling tighter and tighter as it becomes hard to breathe.

“Is okay.” Edward grunts, nodding. “Pick him.” He begins to step away and finally it was no longer hard to breathe, instead you felt sadness erupt throughout you and tears brimming your eyes. This is why you didn’t want to choose, you wanted them both, but they never made that an option, so you pushed it away. 

“I–I can’t… I don’t want to decide!” As dramatic as ever, you run after declaring that and as if it were a Disney film, you ran into your room and drastically flopped onto your bed, burying your face into your pillow. 

Bucky shakes his head, gesturing to Edward to follow as they make their way to your room. To be honest, he was never going to make you pick one. He was insane, he wanted to mess with everyone and everything. Bucky wanted to drive you to your breaking point, so you had no choice to agree to sharing, he had planned everything to a T. As he and Edward entered your room and your cries filled their ears, he felt his cock twitch. Ah, that wonderful feeling that he hadn’t felt for so long until you came along. A feeling you gave him every time you entered the room, spoke, even existed. The amount of times he wanted to bend you over the library table and pound his thick cock into you was driving him even more insane. 

“Doll, it’s okay.” He shoved those thoughts aside as he and Edward sat beside you on the bed. “You don’t have to decide, we’ll do it for you if you allow us.” His hand rests on your upper thigh, so close to the spot you all wanted to be touched/touch. Your head lifted from the soft pillow, looking up at him with tear-filled eyes. Unknowingly causing their cocks to harden and twitch. “Will you let us share you, doll?” You nod, not being able to speak with how overwhelmed you feel. 

Edward’s hand slowly moves up your body, the feel of his blades and the coldness they bring cause you to clench around nothing. It’s as though he knows how you feel about them because he begins to taunt you, dragging them even slower, pressing the tips into you soft enough to not break skin. “Mine… Ours.” He corrects himself, smiling gently down at you as you whimper beneath them. With quick movement, the dress splits from the middle and falls delicately to the sides, exposing your bare breasts to them. “Beautiful…” 

Bucky groans, ruining the soft moment between you two as he roughly reaches over and fondles your soft flesh. His fingers brush against your nipples, flicking and rubbing them until you are a whimpering mess beneath him. Your mind is cloudy as he touches you, pleasure exploding throughout your body. “Such a perfect creation. My pretty doll.” Bucky groans, leaning down and taking a nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before sucking, causing your back to arch. 

Edward moves softly, pressing and running his blades all over your body as he watches your reactions. His eyes latched onto your glistening cunt, feeling his pants tighten as your juices begin to leak from your pretty hole. With slow and gentle movements, he brings his hand down to between your legs, experimenting as he presses the flat side of his blade against your puffy clit, enjoying the soft mewls that fall from your lips. Your hands fly out and clutch Bucky, tightening your grip as they continue to bring you pleasure. 

Bucky pulls away, leaving a string of saliva to follow as his eyes move down your body and glares at Edward’s hand. “Switch.” Without a fight, Edward slowly moves away with a pout until his gaze locks onto your juices that cover his finger replacements. You watch as he brings them to his mouth, eyes locked with yours as he licks it clean. You let out a soft moan, your hooded eyes watch as they move, switching places. “Good. You got her all ready for me.” Bucky speaks with a groan. You let out a gasp as Bucky rubs your swollen clit, making you wetter if that was even possible. 

Your hands lift as you decide to help Edward with his pants, needing to feel him in your mouth, taste him. See if he is as sweet as he seems. You move swiftly, moaning when you finally free his hardened cock. Your mouth falls open and you quickly latch onto his leaking tip, not wasting anytime as you begin to suck. Edward’s head falls back, whimpers escaping him, never having experienced this kind of pleasure before, Edward didn’t know what to do except dig his blades into the mattress. Your mouth so skilful as if Bucky himself made it that way. 

Bucky watches with heated eyes as you suck the soul out of his monster. His hands fall to his pants and immediately takes himself out, groaning as he wraps his hand around his thick, throbbing member, giving it a squeeze before slowly beginning to stroke it. “You’re doing so good, doll. A natural slut. One made for us.” He growls before laughing as he realises you were literally made for them, lining his swollen tip up against your sopping entrance, he groans as he slowly pushes in. Your walls squeeze him tightly, pulsating around him as he begins to thrust in and out. 

You moan around Edward, eyes crossing as Bucky fucks hard and fast into you. Your cheeks suck in, sucking him harder and swirling your tongue around his leaking tip. Your head bobs up and down, Bucky pounds into you. His hands grip your hips, balls slapping against your arse. Edward whines, his hips begin to jerk, thrusting his cock deeper into your mouth and hitting your throat as he feels his orgasm approaching. 

“G–gonna… So close!” He moans, squeezing his eyes shut as spurts of cum shoot out of him. You moan softly, swallowing his cum and finally finding out that he was sweet both inside out and out. He slips out of you and sags into your bed, watching you with a happy look in his eyes. 

Your moans are loud, bouncing off the walls as Bucky pulls you closer to him. His cock slides in and out of you roughly, a ring of white coating his base which each movement. Fingers gripping your flesh so hard, it’ll leave bruises in the morning. Your hands grip the sheets, fingers and toes curling as your back arches from the bed and your juices squirt out of you, covering your creator. Bucky groans, leaning over your body as he thrusts a few more times before releasing thick spurts of cum deep into you, coating your walls with white. 

He leans back, peering down at you and pushes your hair out of your face. “Such a good doll for us.” The smile he gives is almost wicked, suited for a crazed man. Edward curls toward the two of you, carefully placing his arm around you as you all begin to drift off into a blissful sleep. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

#imyourbratzdollwork #imyourbratzdollhalloween #monsterverse #frankenstein bucky barnes x frankensteins monster edward scissorhands x indecisive reader #bucky barnes imagine #edward scissorhands au #bucky barnes imagines #edward scissorhands fanfic #bucky barnes #edward scissorhands #bucky barnes au #edward scissorhands x reader #bucky barnes angst #edward scissorhands fanfiction #bucky barnes drabble #edward scissorhands imagines #bucky barnes fanfic #edward scissorhands oneshot #bucky barnes fanfiction #edward scissorhands angst #bucky barnes fic #edward scissorhands fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes oneshot #edward scissorhands fic #bucky barnes x fem!reader #edward scissorhands x fem!reader

[izzyeffinhands]

The only Facebook group I feel safe in as an Izzy Hands stan is Our Flag Means Daddy.

Even though I am apart of the two main groups as well, i.e. Our Flag Means Deathposting, Our Flag Means Fans, I do NOT feel SAFE. I see the wildest and hottest fucking takes in these groups and they piss me off. Are you even watching the same show? I’m also sick and tired of people calling Izzy a villain when he clearly is not. Also there are many that don’t recognize he’s gay, even after season 2. If you voice you’re upset and betrayed? You get attacked. I was again last night.

I guess I’m a proud Izzy “apologist”, but it fucking baffles me how fans just give Ed a pass on all the brutal things he did. Oh but the love story—- NO. Recognize you’re an Ed apologist as well. I like both Ed and Izzy, but I recognize the horrifying things Ed did.

The day of the finale, I posted my thoughts on various social media. I got attacked. I got messages even on tumblr from anon cowards who I imagine followed through Twatter. I was called the t slur. That I was stupid, fat, all sorts of things.

It’s because I said I’ll never trust David Jenkins again. Now, do I have my own thoughts as to whether parts of the finale are a dream state/gravy basket that Stede himself is in? Absolutely. But let’s dive into why I was especially hurt.

First off. I am disabled. For those who know me, I’ve also had two leg surgeries and my injury has ruined my life. So seeing Izzy with a false leg, as a disabled character, still being badass? It felt good. It boosted my confidence for me to keep going. I had so much metal in my leg it caused pain that left me bedridden and using a wheelchair and cane. Many a time I wish they’d chopped my leg off.

I see a lot of myself in Izzy. I swear, he has the traits of an Aries with his anger and intense emotions. This man feels deeply for those who cares for, even though at first this seemed to just be Edward. Despite the hardened shell, he’s a romantic at heart. I’m very much the same.

That hardened shell is also a form of masking to me. In my opinion, and in my own headcanon for this roleplaying blog, Israel is neurodivergent and suffered sexual assault on ships when he was young. It’s part of the reason he has bowel issues. He had to force himself to put on that rough motherfucker mask in order to protect himself. I was bullied mercilessly in school. When I started middle school, I decided to align myself with the “bad kids” as a form of protection. Guess what? Part of myself was masking I was a bad ass, part of myself became the badass I was masking to be after years of torture.

Also. I am transmasculine. I’m pre-HRT. But to me, Izzy is very transmasc coded. This was even confirmed by Con himself when a transmasc fan at Supercon brought the conversation up. I’d just like to say again how much I adore him for supporting the trans community, particularly transmascs who often are glanced over.

Then David Jenkins, a straight man, that swore he wouldn’t fall into the kill your gays trope did exactly that. So let’s exclude here the thought that this is possibly a dream state, or even that he might be resurrected by Buttons as a zombie or ghost which I fucking hope not. We’re talking about my initial feelings. Now it felt like they were setting him up to be killed but I said oh no Jenkins wouldn’t do that to us. He promised he wouldn’t.

Guess what?! He fucking did. Not only that, he murdered off the disabled, gay, transmasc coded character after giving him the most beautiful character arc of any character on the show. You can have a gay pirate rom com, you can understand some characters can get hurt, but killing someone as a means to advance plot? Fuck you. Also, the fact that Izzy apologized to his ABUSER?! As if the victim blaming and shaming wasn’t enough for Izzy Hands, which I see plenty of still, that’s fucked up on so many levels.

So to me I watched a version of myself be murdered. It hit me in the hardest way imaginable. I cried for days. I’ve never been so attached to a character in my 38 years of existence. I’m sick and tired of people saying they like his redemption arc. Izzy never needed redemption. He just needed one, single, person to tell him that he was loved and cared about.

So voicing that I felt betrayed and that I no longer trust Jenkins got me nothing but vitriol. Then toward the end of the day, he made a tweet about how there’s no version of the show without Izzy and had the comments turned off. He knows what he did. And then in the FB groups, if you dared say you were upset that day, requoted Jenkins, you’re a horrible person? Right. I didn’t start attacking the writers. I just said I’m betrayed and I can’t trust what I thought was my comfort show. Because of that, I got hate.

As much as I’d like to believe Izzy will return, the interviews David has done post season 2 talking about his character give me little hope. It’s like he just stabbed every fan in the back. Id like to think the rushed finale is really a dream sequence or gravy basket deal. Id like to think that Izzy will come back thanks to Buttons. But now I just don’t trust David Jenkins.

And if you dare voice this opinion anywhere but Our Flag Means Daddy and Twatter, you get attacked. So here goes. Thanks for my TED talk.

#izzy hands #our flag means death #out of hands [ooc] #ofmd #my personal thoughts #our flag means death season 2 #our flag means death finale #david jenkins

[ramayantika]

Random free gyan for chotus here

I took time off from social media, news, everything for a while. I logged out of my main insta page. I used the internet only to watch lectures, dance and writing. I have come back but I no longer login to tumblr like I used to nor do I use my other accounts for Instagram that much. My main account is still logged out since 27th August. Hence, here are some few things I discovered/realized

1. Navigating through loneliness, FOMO, and restlessness about your work/future/friends etc

I took a drop year in 2022, gave entrance exams till July and I have now secured a college. All this while I barely talked to my school friends who themselves were busy in their courses and college activities. So it does feel sad and a little depressing seeing everyone do other stuff while you are here in a small room studying the same 11th 12th books.

Then I made a new insta account once again after my exam dates neared so I would reconnect with everyone again. Does it happen so easily? Not at all. I was still alone. I would like reels, stories and posts but apart from that nothing except a few calls from friends.

That did give me a desperation to share everything about myself. No one to talk to, no friend nearby and you have so much to talk. I remember staying late up and writing god knows what on my closed stories, ranting about my crying episodes every damn thing. Then after getting a college I was still feeling lost, thinking what to do ahead regarding my career plans. I would then chat with whoever I found from school groups or online friends groupchats late at night but a lot of it was just shallow interaction because I wanted to pass time and not utilize time. We all write about the strange cringe feeling we get after oversharing about ourselves, put up memes for it, but do we ever work on it.

Yes, you can shitpost on tumblr, reblog those relatable posts but you have to put in work to control yourself. And after a while I was fed up. I knew I needed to change it. I needed to put a line over myself which made me disable and log out social media accounts. I came back home after completing my admission related work at my college, finally deciding to find my own worth, fix my restless hopeless personality for wanting to share everything on the first online app I get. This doesn't mean that you stop posting on tumblr. I literally wrote in all caps about savitha Sastry, dance stuff, college, yes. But if you are someone who is alone preparing for exams, away from friends, do not give in to that strong desperate urge to put up everything for everyone to read; to share every bit of it to the new person you made friends online.

I have had my own share of FOMO. Not knowing what I am doing with myself while seeing others doing internships, attending competitions, fests and trips while I sit here scrolling right to left. We are all online most of the time, but it is really necessary to not attach your sense of worth to social media.

Some of you are younger to me, still in school, and maybe you all aren't at that stage now, you all can be tomorrow for preparing for entrances or other stuff that will demand you to be away from social events for a while, to have a rigorous academic schedules. It's sad, but that's how it is. Maybe some change can be brought later for young minds to still have a healthy routine that combines studies as well as other activities.

If you all ever get this dreadful feeling wondering where you are, what are you doing, is it all even worth it. I need you all to take a deep breath. Yes, it is worth it. Yes, you are at the right place, and yes you are learning at this age so you are doing good. It's okay. Your attempts, your hardwork will always get you 'success.' failure is a path to success, and all that disappointment, sadness etc will exist. You will have endless doubts over yourself but please remember that all of it was worthy. You will definitely see in some later period that whatever you underwent was all worth it.

But what about my lost time, lost friends didi?

You know little ones, friends change with age. Some stay intact for a long time while some move away and sometimes you grow out of it. Sometimes you will also reconnect with those friends from class with whom you barely had any conversation but later you see them talking with you and you realize that they are fun too.

And about lost time... I did this mistake too. You all never lose time. You aren't ahead in the race nor are you behind. You are where you have to be. You will get your desired friends, colleges and life. But to reach there, that 'lost' time teaches you patience. And to learn patience, one needs to learn how to wait through hopeless situations and endless moments of despair where you want to give up. But that's the catch, if you give up, you don't learn it anymore.

This is why for every thing that sometimes goes wrong in your life at this delicate stage where you all are growing up, I want you all to be kind to yourself. Take a deep breath, and indulge yourself in your favourite activity or close your eyes and actually meditate or just listen to music depending on your mood. Yes, the same advice everyone gives, but it works. You all, me, everyone needs discipline bacha. Wherever you see yourself, be it career, financial stuff or relationships, one needs to learn discipline and patience. You need to learn how to control the mind because it's going to be very easy to fall into a mindless scrolling session, or giving in to other distracting temptations.

The mind loves chaos. It easily jumps to doubtful thoughts. In the end, from this age you need to learn to control the mind and take steps to be your best self, best adult figure for your younger self to look upto. Jin posts ko reblog karte ho ki I want to be the woman, my 10 year self would look upto etc uske liye effort time sab lagana padega.

Meine bhi voh memes pinterest posts like reblog ki hai that were about existential crisis, the absolute dread of not doing anything in life and other stuff that are actually problematic in the long run for the mind. Kahin na kahin tum jab inko like reblog karte ho they do retain inside your head and tum vaise hi mind ko train karte ho.

Aaj jee neet cuet ke liye akele sabse durr rehna hai, kal badme masters ke liye wait karna padega ek saal ya phir baki exams. Uske liye vapas doston se durr, ek room mein padhai, phone kamm, shaadiyan trips band hoti rahegi. We all need to take life in a simple and easy way too. And sometimes these problems have solutions that you all know deep inside but choose to procrastinate or not take a step towards it.

In the end all of you chotus, just understand one thing ki life badi hai. Aaj yeh nahi hai kuch mahine baad sab milega vapas. Phir kuch pal baad tumhe vapas se akele rehna padega yeh phase sabka hota rehta hai. Rona aarha hai ro lo, akelapan lagega but iske liye jaisa meine pehle kaha tumhe hi khudko kehna hoga ki mujhe apne life mein abhi bahut kuch karna hai yeh sab usi laksh tak le jayegi. I know you all are wonderful, and capable of so many things. You all need to wait for a while, and work hard. Tumhare friends sab tumhe badme milenge humesha aisa boring akela phase zindagi bhar nahi rehta aur nahi hai humesha Bunny from yjhd types happening hogi.

Jab yeh sab permanent nahi hai toh bas mann ko samjhao ki apne kaam pe dhyan do. Tumblr pe bhadas nikaldi kabhi ek baar kisiko overshare kar diya theek hai chalta hai par isse apni personality mein pura entwine nahi kar daalo.

You all are made for so much for. There's so much in life that you all will slowly experience, good and bad everything. You all are growing up and I wish you all the best for it.

#samridhi speaks #desiblr #log out maar rahi for now because I have dance class in an hour #this is for chotu mutuals who are in school #wish you all the best once again aur zindagi badi hai sirf vahi same dost aur same school life teenage life hi nahi hai agar mil gaya sab #acha toh good and if not toh aur bhi achi chizein wait kar rahi hai

[sushigirlali]

Bad Idea Right? - Part II (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III (Complete!)

Summary: Rey Niima realizes she may not be over Ben Solo when Hux’s social media posts show her ex-boyfriend may be moving on at Poe’s Halloween party. Donning a matching costume purchased before their breakup, Rey decides to stop running and confront him. Horny Halloween hijinks ensue!

Pairings: Rey/Ben, Rose/Hux, Finn/Poe

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: Happy Halloween, rats!! May I present Part II of my holiday-themed fic, or as I like to call it: Rey, please get it together, babe, you’ve giving Ben whiplash 😵‍

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

Bad Idea Right? - Part II

By: sushigirlali

——————

Boston, MA

Friday, October 31

——————

Now I'm gettin' in the car, wreckin' all my plans

I know I should stop-, but I can't

And I told my friends I was asleep

But I never said where or in whose sheets

——————

A week passed and Ben didn’t text again. She would say he ghosted her, but that wouldn’t be fair. Expecting him to put himself out there again given how badly she’d bungled their chance of reconciliation was ridiculous. She had enough self-awareness to admit it to herself at least. 

So, in an effort to give him some peace, she had decided not to go to Poe and Finn’s Halloween party that night. Although she had broken up with Ben, they still had numerous mutual friends in common and she didn’t want to make the event awkward for him. 

Another mark against her going was that none of their friends actually knew why they had broken up as far as she was aware. She tried to make it seem amicable anytime the topic came up, but she could tell Finn and Rose both low key blamed Ben. It wasn’t fair, but she was too ashamed to give the real reason. 

They all knew about her upbringing in foster care, some of the trials and tribulations she went through, but none of them had lived it. And while her motives behind rejecting Ben’s proposal made sense to her, or they had at the time anyway, she didn’t expect her moderately well adjusted friends to understand.

For his part, according to Rose, Ben’s response when asked about their split was always, “Whatever Rey says happened is what happened.” He was too gracious by far and she didn’t deserve it. Or him. Which was why…

Rey started as her phone dinged loudly. Lowering the volume, she looked at the screen and saw that Hux, Rose’s boyfriend and Ben’s best frenemy, had posted something new on Instagram. Curious, she couldn’t remember the last time the stoic redhead had posted anything, Rey opened the notification.

“What the fuck!” She held the phone away from her like it had bit her. But quickly after, unable to help herself, she pressed on the photo and zoomed in and out on every possible angle. Whitehot anger blazed through her at the sight of Bazine, dressed like Jessica Rabbit, sitting on Ben’s lap, her arm around his shoulders while they laughed about something she couldn’t decipher.

The freeze frame was captioned, “Eddie and Jessica, who knew 👀,” and it made her want to throw things.

“So, he thinks he’s over me, huh?” Rey raged, nearly tripping over a new pile of unwashed clothes on the way to her closet. “He’s wearing our couples costume and he thinks he’s over me? We’ll just see about that!”

——————

And I pull up to your place, on the second floor

And you're standin', smiling at the door

And I'm sure I've seen much hotter men

But I really can't remember when

——————

Rey adjusted her very short green cheerleader skirt, checking that her ass was covered before stepping through Finn’s front door. He didn’t know she was coming, nobody did, and she supposed she should have let her friends know in case some major drama was about to start, but she wanted the element of surprise. She needed to catch Ben off guard to get a real reaction out of him; he was too good at schooling his features otherwise. 

Gingerly twisting the handle, she was relieved when it opened without her needing to call someone to let her in. Pushing the door halfway, a wave of loud club music and strobe lights assaulted her senses.

There was a mass of people moving to the music in the living room, the green velvet couch Finn was obsessed with pushed against the wall to allow for a makeshift dance floor. Cupping her hands over her ears, she slowly walked inside, squinting at the faces before her. 

When she didn’t see Ben, and no one paid her any mind, she moved past the study on her right and into the open concept kitchen. Through the glass doors that led to the patio, Rey could see several of her close friends gathered around a game of cornhole.

Rose and Hux were dressed as western Barbie and Ken (how Rose got her snobby boyfriend to wear such a fun outfit was beyond Rey), Finn and Poe were Spider-Men Miles Morales and Miguel O'Hara, Jannah was Starfire, and Kaydel was wearing a giant, inflatable t-rex costume.

Rolling her eyes as her colorfully dressed friends drunkenly missed shot after shot, Rey backtracked to the hallway between the kitchen and study that led to the back bedrooms. What if Ben was back there with Bazine? Were they already fucking? The thought hadn’t crossed her mind until now, but it sickened her.

In all fairness, it shouldn’t. She was the one who ended things. It wasn’t his fault if he’d found someone else. But after what she and Ben had done on the phone last week? Yeah, no, she was…

“Ben.” Suddenly spotting a talk, dark shadow near the end of the hall, Rey released a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding.

He wasn’t in a dimly lit bedroom with another woman, he was alone in the hallway leading to the guest bath, leaning against the wall with a dejected look on his face. Had Bazine rejected him? Was he thinking about her? She had to know.

Pacing down the hallway, she wrapped her hand around one thick bicep. “Ben, we need to–” 

“Bazine, I said no. I’m not–Rey?” He looked shocked to see her, but not unhappily so.

“Come with me,” she said over the music. 

He didn’t resist when she tugged him into the nearby bathroom and locked the door. She turned on the overhead light and got a better look at him. He was wearing the Stranger Things costume they had picked out together, and he looked damn good in it. The patched vest, tight jeans, and long, wavy wig made him look like a rock god.

She had intended to immediately launch into an interrogation all the way here, but now that she was alone with him again for the first time in months, all she could think about was the other night. His direction, his selflessness, his filthy words…

Without another thought, she dropped to her knees in front of him.

“Rey!” Still shocked. Good.

Looking up at him from under her lashes, she reached for his black belt. He didn’t stop her when she undid it, or when she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, but he did stay her hand when she reached into the slit of his checkered boxers. 

“What is this?” he asked seriously, holding her fingers still when she tried to wiggle them against his hard flesh.

“I would think that’s fairly obvious.”

“Fine, then why?” he pressed. 

“Because I want to,” she said simply.

“Rey.”

“Because Hux posted a pic of you with Bazine and it made me jealous, okay?”

He shook his head as if to make sense of her. “Rey, you made it pretty clear last week that you–fuck!”

His hands went into her hair as she leaned forward to press her lips against the bulge in his shorts. “I want to suck your cock,” she said impatiently. “Are you going to let me?”

Ben cupped her cheeks, staring into her eyes, looking for something. Whatever he found there seemed to satisfy him, thankfully. “Okay.”

Smirking at her victory, she grabbed the waistband of his boxers and peeled them down over his hips, bearing his heavy sex to her eager eyes. “Yummy.” He staggered a little as she circled him with her hands, testing his hardness. “You’re bigger than I remember, heavier,” she said absently.

“Maybe because I haven't…”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but she knew what he meant. “Neither have I.”

His expression turned tender, but she wasn’t here for that. She was here to wreck him. Stroking the base of his penis in tight concentric circles, she sucked his fat head into her mouth.

“Fucking hell, Rey!” he yelped, supporting the back of her head with his massive hands. “Baby, you really don’t have to–ahhh!”

She loved hearing him groan because of her, so she sucked harder and tongued his tip like a lollipop. His thickness was a little uncomfortable after not being with him for so long, but she just relaxed her jaw as much as possible and kept going.

“I’m not going to last–it’s been 69 days,” he gasped, trying to pull back. “Rey, please, I’m going to come.” He actually sounded kind of embarrassed by how turned on he was, poor boy. “Rey!”

She giggled around his length and wiggled her eyebrows. “69 days, huh?” 

He seemed to realize what she was so amused about and choked out a laugh too. Then he was swearing and straining against her again, trying to limit his response to a few quick, shallow thrusts. But she was having none of that. She wanted him out of control.

“Baby, please slow down. I’m going to make a mess all over your pretty costume,” he groaned. “You look so hot, I don’t think I can—uh!”

She smiled at his courtesy, but continued to ignore his pleas, focusing on the motion of her hands, the push and pull of her lips, determined to drive him wild. But it didn’t take much more stimulation before his fingers tightened almost painfully in her hair and his whole body shook as he came in her mouth.

Then she barely had time to swallow before he was hauling her to her feet with his hands under her armpits, lifting her onto the counter, and forcing her thighs wide around his hips. Brown eyes so dark they were almost black, he stared at her lips for the briefest of moments before kissing the life out of her.

Their bodies surged together, their hands and tongues everywhere. It was like the first time, it was like coming home. It was…

“Oh!” Rey moaned as Ben’s cock pressed into her wet slit. If she could only get him to move slightly to the left… His lips suddenly lifted and this time she moaned in disappointment. 

Dodging her attempts to bring his face back down to hers, Ben pulled up her skirt. “What–oh, fuck.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Your place?”

“What?”

“Do you have any condoms on you?”

“No, I–Rey, you’re not wearing underwear.” His tone suggested his brain had disconnected from the rest of his body.

“Right. So, your place?” she said again.

He lifted his eyes in wonder, or maybe it was shellshock, but he nodded.

——————

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts (I cannot hear my thoughts)

Like blah-blah-blah (blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah)

——————

Rey held his hand all the way to his black mustang and allowed him to open the door and buckle her in. It was like before, they way he took care of her. Smiling stupidly, feeling loopy and weirdly calm, the insistent buzz of her cell interrupted her train of happy thoughts.

Rose: Rey, what the heck? Did I just see you leave with your ex?.

Rey: Maybe

Rose: I thought you weren’t coming to the party?

Rey: Check your boyfriend’s insta

Ben looked sideways at her furious texting. “Everything okay?”

“Fine,” she said blithely. She didn’t care what anyone thought about her relationship–situationship?–with Ben. Not even her best friend.

Rose: I’m going to kill him. He did that on purpose!

Rey: Just realizing that lol

Rose: Look, he’s your ex but he’s also my friend and I know it’s none of my business, but do you think this is a good idea?

Rey: Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

Rose: Are you together again then?

Rey: I only see him as a friend

“The biggest lie I ever said.”

Rose: Rey

Rey: What?

She could practically hear Rose’s annoyed sigh through the screen.

Rose: Can we at least meet for brunch tomorrow and discuss? 

Rey: Sure. Frenchie’s?

Rose: See you there at 11am

Rose: MAKE GOOD CHOICES

She turned back to Ben, amused that his tall form somehow fit into the too small muscle car. It was miraculous, really. He always took up so much space, always weighed her down in bed… “Mmm.” She especially liked it when his big body was on top of hers in bed. “Make good choices?” Rey reached over the middle console to lay her hand on his muscular thigh. “No, I don’t think I will.”

——————

Should probably not

I should probably, probably not

I should probably, probably not

——————

They stumbled into his brownstone fifteen minutes later, but Ben’s sense of urgency was seriously lacking as far as Rey was concerned; she pouted while he made her stay still long enough to lock the door and re-engage the security system. Struggling against the strong arm wrapped around her waist, she tried to turn and kiss his face.

“Still such a greedy little thing, huh?” he said fondly, deftly securing the door before ducking to haul her up over his shoulder.

“Ben!” she gasped, loving his display of strength. And the hand that creeped up her thigh and under her skirt. “That’s the spirit,” she simpered, hanging over his body like a limp scarf.

“Happy now?” he chuckled, kneading her ass.

Rey didn’t know how to answer that, so she stuck her hands into his back pockets instead. 

“Rey!” Ben danced on the spot like she’d jammed him with a hot poker. 

Releasing a peel of laughter, she squeezed his butt cheeks through his jeans. “Have you been working out more, Solo? I don’t remember these buns of steel!”

“Yeah,” he said a little sadly, “I’ve had a lot of time on my hands lately.”

“Well, it’s really paid off,” she replied lightly.

“Thanks.” He cleared his throat. “Are you, um, hungry?”

“Just for your dick,” she said boldly, wanting to sail straight past any awkwardness. “Take me to bed.”

“Fuck, Rey, you’re killing me here,” he complained, but he started moving toward his bedroom all the same.

The trip upstairs was quick and she was happy to see that his bedroom looked the same as it had two months ago when he flipped a lamp on. He even kept the numerous photos of them together, the heavy, expensive looking frames scattered across several surfaces. Clearly, he was about as over her as she was of him.

They really should talk before getting down to business, even if Rey’s natural instinct was to avoid all possibility of rejection. It was clear there was still something between them, that she hadn’t completely ruined everything. But before she could summon the courage to say anything, Ben was flipping her onto the bed and hauling her close to the edge. 

Shrugging off her crossbody purse, which only housed her phone, her keys, a slim wallet, and red lipstick, Rey hurriedly tossed it aside. The only distraction she needed tonight was Ben Solo.

Responding to her eagerness, Ben’s hands cupped the underside of her knees, stretching and bending her legs backward like the photo she had gotten off to a week ago. “Ben,” she whispered unsteadily, the position blatantly exposing her core to his needy gaze.

He looked down at her, sprawled in her green and yellow cheerleader uniform and blonde wig, already flushed and dripping. “I don’t think I can be gentle, the first time.”

“The first time?” She licked her lips. “Okay.”

“Can I fuck you in your costume?”

“Please,” she said enthusiastically, reaching for him.

But Ben captured her wrists and placed them above her head on the coverlet. “No, don’t move. I want to taste you first.”

Rey shook her head, so slick from anticipation that she was already primed to go. “I don’t need–”

“I do.” His eyes were saying incredible things, bright and imploring, wanting, loving…

Rey relaxed on the bed, clasping her fingers together where they still rested above her head. “You can do whatever you want to me, Ben.” 

She saw the exact millisecond he snapped, the switch in his brain flipping from considerate lover to voracious demon, and it was exhilarating. 

Prying her legs further apart to accommodate the width of his shoulders, Ben kneeled on the floor, pulled her close, and jammed his tongue so far inside her that stars burst behind her eyes. This was what she had been missing, what her stubbornness had denied her for weeks and weeks. The instant connection, the burning desire, the overwhelming pleasure only Ben Solo could rend from her body. 

Why had she broken up with him again? With someone who loved her to distraction? Someone who took care of her every need and allowed her to reciprocate without measure? 

Surely she wasn’t stupid enough to lose the man she loved because of a few silly hang-ups. They could work through them, maybe have a nice, long engagement to get her used to the idea. They didn't have to get married tomorrow, just the promise of commitment was enough. Somehow it all seemed so clear now when it had been murky before. 

“Ben, Ben, Ben,” she chanted as he switched angles, distracting her from serious thought.

He growled in response, nipping gently at her clitoris in time with the languid stokes of his tongue. She tried to grind her pussy into his intimate kiss, but he wouldn’t be rushed. Gripping her thighs tighter, he forced her lower body to remain still, single-minded in his pursuit of pleasure. Nobody ate pussy like Ben Solo.

“Ben! Yes! Right there!” 

He zeroed in on the spot that had her screaming, stirring her bundle of nerves until tears were streaming down her cheeks from pleasure so intense it boarded on pain. And then she was coming, gushing fluid into his waiting mouth, straining and whimpering while he held her captive.

What felt like an eternity later, she felt him shifting her body on the bed, tilting her pelvis upward to take him. “Ben?” she whispered, utterly boneless, ready and willing for anything.

“I need to be inside you. Right now.” His face was fierce, and the rocker costume he was still mostly wearing only increased her desire. 

She’d always wanted to roleplay in bed with him but had been too shy to suggest it. But now, with his pants pulled down just enough to free his pulsating need, Rey knew he would be willing to try anything she wanted. 

“I need you inside me,” she echoed, reaching for him again.

He went into her arms willingly this time, planting a knee on the bed for leverage before sinking into her warmth in one smooth motion. They both groaned as he penetrated her, the feeling of completeness bringing more tears to Rey’s eyes.

“Sweetheart,” he murmured, sipping the salty stains off her cheeks, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she sniffed. “Everything is incredibly right.”

Ben rewarded her words by kissing her upturned mouth in long, drugging pulls, sucking on her tongue until she was moaning harshly again. “I love the way you sound when I make love to you.” 

“Ben,” she sighed, wrapping her legs around his waist, wanting to trap him inside her body forever.

His mouth trailed down her cheek to her neck before meeting the edge of her shirt. Huffing at the barricade, he pushed the cheer top and her favorite lacy bralette up to her chin to gain access to her breasts. Ben dipped to capture a stiff nipple and her back arched of its own accord, pushing her small breast halfway into his mouth and choking him a little. 

“Bad girl,” he admonished, lightly biting her tip in playful retaliation, but she found the pressure to be oddly arousing.

“Ben! Oh–I really like that! Bite me again!” He laughed, delighted by her enthusiasm, and did as she asked. “Ah! That feels so good! Ben!”

He went to work on her then, biting and sucking at every piece of flesh he could get his lips on, tunneling his thick cock into her over and over again, reaching for an explosive completion that they could only achieve together. 

“Fuck,” he said, still pumping hard. “Rey, I forgot to put on a condom. I’m sorry, let me–”

“No! Don’t you dare!” She locked her ankles together to prevent him from pulling out.

His pace faltered, but when she squeezed her internal muscles hard around him, Ben’s hips snapped back into rapid action. “Ah! God, Rey! Are–are you sure, baby? I want to protect you.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else and neither have you!” she gasped, so close to coming again she could taste it. “I’m still on the pill, I never stopped taking it in case…” Ben did stop then and the sudden lack of friction was unbearable. “Ben, please!”

“In case what?” He held her down when she tried to lift her hips. “Tell me.”

“In case you called!” she shouted. “In case you still wanted me after–after what I did.”

He was quiet for a moment before picking up the pace again, pistoning his hips like he wanted to brand her. “Okay, but now I’m definitely going to make a mess all over your pretty costume.”

True to his word, Ben exploded inside her a minute later as she clenched hard around him, his release dripping all over her pleated skirt where it was crushed beneath her hips. As he collapsed on top of her, she made a cursory effort to say something romantic, to tease him about his desire for her, but the mind-blowing orgasm she’d just experienced left her mentally and physically depleted. 

Instead, she simply cuddled his dark head to her breast and murmured a weak, “Happy Halloween!” as his heavy body pressed hers into the mattress.

——————

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, it's a bad idea, right?

Seein' you tonight, fuck it, it's fine

——————

A/N: I had a great time deciding what to make all the characters be for Halloween. I love dressing up for conventions all year, so cosplay is never far from my thoughts 💃 Check back tomorrow for Part III!

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Halloween costume reference:

#reylo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #kylo ren #ben solo #my fanfiction #sushigirlali #happy halloween rats

[titoist]

two things that i have awareness of simultaneously:

it would probably be greatly beneficial to my well-being to harbor a general distaste for (& distance from) the internet. & not in my way where i come on here & try to type cathartic paragraphs dissecting broad or narrow things that happen on the internet, but rather in a more direct firsthand way

longstanding personal circumstances of isolation drove me into a place where because of excess exposure to the internet it has become kind of difficult to precisely draw the line between it & myself, muddling all attempts to identify exactly what i should apply distaste & distance to. i have a povertous store of early memories that i actually feel able to point to & confidently say that this one or that one portrays the original, standard form of my life before i psychologically entangled with life as refracted through the whole online lens. is it in the decor of my room? is it in this or that hobby? & is it in this, & is it in that, & what is it not in…?

the sum of these two things is a kind of scared desperation, a sense of infestation of my being

the most strict & obvious answer as to where to draw the line would be at the actual devices & applications that enable access to the internet in the first place. but, when i take it that far, the aloneness with my thoughts & the interminable stillness of a room can become unbearable at times. maybe it doesn't have to be that way though, maybe it's just a weaning process

can't decide whether i have a life to replace the internet with

a more liberal place to draw the line might be cessation of anything that could be called social media. the internet can be something to sift through rather than talk into. sift through databases. spend an hour hitting this button that opens some random ancient web 1.0 website & see what i uncover. investigate. torrent books, find my interests (doesn't tumblr have journaling / introspection utility for me? can it really feel the same just writing everything out in a local document? doing it this way feels so decisive, the progression towards a singular decision that the writing at hand is finished & will be published. would a private blog work? can i find the drive to do this without the constant pull of inferring that i am being seen in some capacity, even if it is so distant? is it a necessary component that, for /someone/, for no one in particular, i put in real effort to be understood & know that it will succeed or fail on those terms?)

or i could limit myself to Discord, with its privacy & direct conversation? can just that be good for me? but it can become just vicarious intake of other people's less careful intake. is watching videos still okay? i don't know. maybe block every html element that serves to present false commonality. no more reviews, no more comments, no more scores, no more metrics, no more forum. no more of the total thing so bigger than me that i always feel crushed by & have to find some productive way to react to, writing paragraphs instead of poisoning the psychic well by sharing the disgusting advertisement or what-have-you to relate around hearing it

the right people are having stimulating empathetic thoughtful productive discussions right before my eyes, where i can see, or join, & i can't bring myself to keep up with it all through the channels interface & the backlogs & the calls & the everything, i can't rein in my attention. i have the great fortune of finding people & things that feel really real, & i squander that with my indefinitely postponed of really exploring it all. i think i might just be apathetic, i think i don't care enough, i'm not sure that i care enough to really want to /really/ exist - but if that's the case then why did i type this post?

[theageofsims]

Perks of having a simblr: it's a sideblog -- I don't see all the drama.

I signed up for Twitter a couple of years ago and forgot my password, but also deleted the email I had it under so I can't get back in...

Yes I am everything... Except smart. 😂

Anyway, I created a new one and thought it'd be the perfect place to post about any speed builds I put on my YouTube channel (which I still think it is)... But my god it is exhausting on there.

I'm an introvert so I thought maybe this is why I feel like this, but then I realized -- it ain't me.

Since my account is just for Sims there's no filter and I see posts from anyone tagging anything about the game whether I follow them or not and it's like a bunch of people keep getting up on the wrong side of the bed.

I saw someone once say that Tumblr was so nice compared to Twitter and all I could think was well don't bring your moody ass over here and ruin it -- we just fine here, thanks! 😂

But the truth is I'm sure there's drama here as well, and other forms of social media -- but as I said at the top of my post, having my Sims blog as a side blog makes it so I don't see all that's going on -- Thank you sweet baby Jesus.

There's so much calling out and policing every single thing. It's not just Sims, it's any "community" and I'm just left wondering like so... Are we not supposed to be our own person or have individuality?

I understand some viewpoints of these arguments, but I also don't have time in my day to be going bat shit over a damn video game. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I remember during my Sims 2 days it was like paddling up shits creek to get help with the game from other simmers. If you dared to ask for help people would lash out at you and demand you to tell them when and where you decided to figure out the answers yourself by searching the internet.

It was like sorry yahoo! Search ain't helping me find a damn thing, but yes Master and Mistress -- I shall continue my search and bring back the gold even if I lose a limb in the process. 😂 I mean people were Grinch-y as fuck.

I was actually shocked to find people were helping others in the community when I made this blog. Never did I think I could ask a question and have people willing to help -- and still, I see simmers all the time state their wcif's aren't open or aren't welcome and I think... They the offspring of the ones from back in them early Sims days, aren't they? 😂

But things have gotten nuts now. New generation, new topics of the world. A new demand. Entitlement everywhere. It's just full on rage for so many people and I often think... How long is this going to go on until some people are left screaming in the void because the truth of the reality is they're never going to be happy no matter what they're served.

I get it. There are people who actively try to enlighten people so they can have them change their opinions or as I sometimes call it, luring them to the dark side...😂... But what's the need? I swear I will never know.

I'm not one of those people who can't see that EA is milking the shit out of us, but I also know there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I was fortunate enough to have parents who could afford to buy me the games in my Sims 1 and 2 days, but by Sims 3 and Sims 4 -- it's been up to me.

Packs are even becoming free now which is amazing because I have NEVER experienced that in my 23 years of Simming. Does it suck that I had to pay for them? I guess. I mean would I have wanted them free if given the chance? Of course, but they weren't free when I wanted them so... I had to pay.

And one truth still remains... You don't like it? Then you don't buy it.

You don't attack people who like what you don't. You don't put the blame on them you don't target them to the point they think you're gonna meet up with them in the sandbox after preschool -- because that's just what this shit truly is.

It's preschool and some people just need a nap.

Also calling out other gamers and making sure to alert everyone who follows them how they need to unfollow them. 😒 Why are we doing this? Why are we not letting people think for themselves and decide for themselves?

It's this hivemind mentality where things are supposed to be wholesome and warm and comforting... But it's not.

No one can force another person to think like them. You want to call out gamers for being anti-gay or anti-trans or racist or x,y,z... What's it going to prove to the person who feels this way? It's like that Bonnie Raitt song, "I can't make you love me if you don't..."

I'm not saying these people are right or that they haven't got problems, but let's be honest -- how is their way of playing bothering our way of playing? Why do we care? What gives us the right to control what they do or how they do it?

This is literally call-out culture -- for sure, but for a video game? I don't see how anything someone is doing in their game is harming others in that if you don't like it or you're triggered -- you remove yourself from the situation.

Your responsibility is not to be responsible for others. If they want to do shit in poor taste, let them. Let them turn others off to their content and so on. Most of the time the more attention you give the more they continue because they're attention seekers.

I wasn't raised with call out culture. I mean if a cat was stuck up a tree you usually alerted someone's parents, but Sims didn't exist until I was 12 and the only frustrations anyone had was the roaches and the infestation of flies and your kid failing school and getting taken away to to military school.

Not at all THIS that we have now.

I don't know whether to say get a grip or take a chill pill -- but those sayings are outdated and that's facts. 😂

#blurb #lordt #lordt jesus... help meh please! 😂