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rrcenic · 4 months

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DECEMBER ONESHOTS - Genshin Impact

these were written by me, some accompanied by amazing art by some cool people!! go check em out!

some of the art is not completed, but i wanted to make sure to post this on christmas. i’ll add the art when it’s done!

they’re all modern aus, all focused on a ship :)

happy holidays and merry christmas!!

—-

FREMINET HATES PARTIES

freminet attends quite a few gatherings for his siblings, and meets an interesting boy

pairings: freminet/scaramouche

i drew this art :))

It is December 21st, and Freminet Foyer is going to pass out.

He sits in the corner of the party, clutching a red plastic cup and trying to remember how to breathe.

Sure, he could go try to find one of his siblings to help de-stress, but Lynette is busy explaining something to Charlotte and Lyney is surrounded by fans.

Perhaps the worst part of having famous siblings was the events they’d get you caught up in.

Ever since the twins had gone viral for their magic trick videos, their lives have been full of media interviews, paparazzi, sponsorships, and, perhaps the worst of all, Christmas parties.

Social anxiety is a curse. But at least he’s not the center of attention. There’s an aspect of comfort that comes with being known only as “the Foyer twin’s little brother.” You never have pressure to be anything more.

Except tonight, he’s been noticed.

“Hey, mind if I hang over here?”

Freminet looks up, and looses his breath.

Perhaps the most beautiful person Freminet has ever seen is standing there. Pale skin framed with dark purple hair, and deep lavender-blue eyes. His dark eyeliner and red eyeshadow are perfectly done, and his outfit is graceful and androgynous.

“Enjoying the view?” the strange boy laughs, and Freminet notices he has been staring.

“S-sorry- I’m- I’m not very good at this kind of… of thing…”

“You’re fine. Trust me, you’re one of the most normal people I’ve seen tonight. Wanna get a beer? Your cup is empty.”

Freminet blushes. “N-no thanks, I’m 16-“

The stranger laughs again. It’s a disturbing sound, eerily enticing. “I’m 17, but you don’t see that stopping me. Hey, no pressure if you don’t want any, though. Kudos to you for making good decisions.”

You know what? Fuck it. Father never seemed to care when the twins came back hammered. Freminet gave a slight smile and grabbed a can from the table, downing it in three sips.

“Wow, impressive. I’m Scara. Scara Raiden. I’m only here because my mother and her wife are rich shitheads, and any excuse to tarnish their reputation must be taken.”

The younger man was slightly taken aback. Scara was… opinionated. And loud about it. But not in the way Lyney was, being open as a way to sweet talk into getting his way. No, Scara seemed to be brash simply for the sake of being brash.

Freminet wondered if he was single.

He opened his mouth to ask Scara for his number…

And vomited onto the hardwood floor, barely missing Scara.

Oh god. Oh god, Freminet can’t breathe.

“Oh shit, are you alright?! Is it okay if I touch your arm?”

Freminet nods. Strange, for the circumstance, but the asking of consent for contact was nice. If only he hadn’t thrown up and made a complete idiot of himself.

Scara leads him outside and sits next to him on the cool stone steps, rubbing circles on his back.

“Wow, you can’t hold your liquor, can you?”

Freminet shakes his head. His voice comes out hoarse. “No. I mean, I don’t really drink… but my siblings do, and you seemed impressed…”

Scara scoffs. “Dude, you don’t need to impress me. I mean, I saw you having a panic attack and looking lost and alone, and I still came over. It’s kind of obvious that I think you’re cute.”

Wait. He. So. He’d been flirting the whole time?!

It’s Scara’s turn to go red. “I… I mean- I would… I’d like to get to know-“

“What’s your number?” Freminet blurts.

Scara grins, and looks at the door frame above them. “Huh. Mistletoe. If you hadn’t just puked your guts out, I’d ask to kiss you.”

“If I hadn’t just puked my guts out, I’d say yes.”

—-

DIRECTIONALLY CHALLENGED

navia attempts to prove herself to her wife by answering once and for all: can gays drive?

pairings: navia/clorinde

the lovely @eternal-moss made the art!!

apologies for spelling mistakes, my phone really wanted to correct clorinde to chlorine 😭😭😭

It is December 22nd, and Navia Rosula is definitely not lost.

At least, that’s what she is reassuring her wife.

“Are you sure you know where you’re going?” Clorinde asks again, as Navia takes yet another right turn.

“Yes! I’ve been this way, like, 6 times!”

“Never at night. While it’s snowing.”

Clorinde had her there. Navia sighs, and pulls over, dirty blond hair spilling over the dashboard as she rests her head on the black leather steering wheel.

“Fine- I’m lost. I’ve just… I usually have all these chauffeurs and drivers, being the daughter of a wealthy father and all… and I… I really wanted to prove to you that I can do something for myself! I don’t want to let you down, not on our first Christmas as wives!”

Clorinde smiles. “First of all, I know you can do things. You’re one of the most capable people I know. And secondly, I’m an atheist and you’re Jewish. Christmas doesn’t have some kind of Hallmark meaning to me. Or you.”

Navia sniffles. “I know… but, I thought you really wanted to go to this party…”

Clorinde laughs. “‘Via, I have no interest in milling around with a bunch of rich kids. What do you say we call it a night, and go home? You can call Meluse and Silver right now, and they can order us a pizza?”

Navia smiles. “I’d like that, yeah.”

Clorinde pecks her cheek. “Oh, and one more thing?”

“Yes?”

“Let me drive.”

“…fine.”

—-

ZHONGLI IS A GOOD DAD

in which xiao gives childe a chance

pairings: zhongli/childe, zhongli is xiao dad

art by the amazingly talented @nickwildelvr !!

It is December 23rd, and Zhongli Lapis-Morax is about to potentially destroy his relationship with his son.

6 days ago, Ajax proposed. It was…magical. They were at a nice Italian restaurant, Zhongli’s favorite place in town. A ring, miraculously in his glass.

For 6 days, Zhongli has been filled with a flood of joy, hope… and anxiety.

Zhongli had adopted a four-year-old Xiao 11 years ago, from an abusive home. The boy was fearful and distant, and when he did finally become close to Zhongli, he stayed unsure of anyone else. Especially grown men.

Xiao also despised Ajax. Though this was completely unrelated to his traumatic past, Zhongli still wanted to give his son as much grace as possible when it came to new adjustments.

But they’d been together for almost two years. And the only improvement in Xiao’s attitude was that he was no longer frightened of his father’s partner, and felt perfect fine insulting him to his face.

And still, Ajax, sweet, understanding Ajax, had kept trying and trying to make a real connection.

He’d asked when Zhongli planned on telling his son, just last night. They were laying in bed, Ajax scrolling through his phone and Zhongli comfortably nestled with his head in the crook of his neck, face pressed against unruly ginger locks. Zhongli changed subject immediately.

And it’s been 6 days. 6 days since Zhongli made a long-term commitment. 6 days that he has avoided his son.

3:45 pm. Every other Sunday at 3:45, Zhongli picks up Xiao from his practice with his rock band. Their music is not amazing, but anything that makes his son happy makes Zhongli happy.

Xiao is waving goodbye to his friend (Whst was his name?? Aether??) when Zhongli pulls up at the house. The teen hurries over, the green highlights in his dark hair glinting in the sun. Zhongli had been opposed to the dye at first, but had grown to enjoy the look. It was really the only color that Xiao would wear, anyway.

Xiao smiles at his father, but avoids his attempts for a hug, grumbling something under his breath. He climbs into the passenger seat of the old silver minivan, and immediately pulls out his phone.

After a minute of driving in silence, Zhongli musters up his courage to raise the subject.

“Xiao, dear, could I have your attention for a short while?”

Xiao looks up. “Yeah, sure. Everything okay?”

Zhongli takes a deep breath, and pulled over to the side of the road.

This is it. Xiao is never going to speak to him again.

“…I know you dislike Ajax…”

Xiao groans.

“Xiao… please-“

Xiao scoffs. “Whatever you want to lecture me about isn’t really that important, is it? Just let me be-“

“Ajax asked me to marry him!”

Silence.

Dead silence.

“Ajax asked me to marry him, and I… I said yes. He… he makes me happy, Xiao. Please. For me. For Christmas. Give him a chance?”

Xiao stayed silent.

Zhongli closed his eyes. Oh god, Xiao is so upset. How was he going to fix this??

Without warning, Xiao leaned across the seat and hugged him. Zhongli was taken aback, but quickly pulled Xiao closer.

The teen mumbled something into his father’s chest.

“Hmm?”

“For you. I’ll give him a chance, for you.”

Zhongli grinned, eyes brimming with tears. It was going to be okay. They were going to be okay.

—-

KAVEH NEEDS A HUG (tw for suicidal ideation/attempt)

in the end, alhaitham will always be there for him

pairings: alhaitham/kaveh

art by the epic@kavehboobs !!

It is December 24th, and Kaveh Singh is going to kill himself.

It’s not really a solid plan. But he’s alone, half-drunk, and he doesn’t think Alhaitham is coming home.

The cold two-room apartment is dark. Its vacant. The marble kitchen counter casts a cool shadow on the tall tan walls. The blond shivers, and tightens his grip on the half empty bottle of wine.

Alhaitham isn’t home. Alhaitham promised to be home by 6 pm, or to call. Alhaitham never changes his plans. Alhaitham left him on read.

It hits him like a slap. He’s alone. Alhaitham isn’t coming home. He’s finally had enough, and left Kaveh to rot. On Christmas eve.

Kaveh doesn’t want to wake up on Christmas alone. And so he has a date with a bottle of pills.

And yet… he hesitates. Because he is a coward, because he is brave, he doesn’t know.

He’s crying. Typical Kaveh. That’s what ‘Haitham would say if he were here. Typical pathetic Kaveh.

The architect lets out a choked sob. 11:45 pm. It’s going to be Christmas in 15 minutes. In 15 minutes, he’s going to do it.

Kaveh hears a car pull up in the driveway.

The doorbell rings.

The lock clicks.

The door swings opens, and a tall dark figure with soft gray hair steps in.

Haitham.

Alhaitham must be here to get his things.

“Kaveh, I apologize for my lateness, I- …have you been crying?”

Kaveh sniffs, and ignores his boyfriend. Alhaitham doesn’t get the hint, and his eyes fall on the bottle of pills.

“Kaveh, what the hell- why do you-“

It clicks. Alhaitham silently grabs the orange canister and the drink. Kaveh feels strong arms wrap around his shaking body.

“Kaveh… love…”

Kaveh whips his head around. “Why didn’t you call?! I thought you’d left me! I- I thought-“

Alhaitham sighs. “My phone died, love. I would never leave you. Listen to me, I swear it on my life.”

Kaveh laughs, watery and shrill.

“My god, I’m an idiot. You’re dating an idiot, you know that?”

Alhaitham kisses his temple. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. Can you be safe to stay at home? Will you let me take care of you?”

Kaveh nods into Alhaitham’s shoulder.

“Hey… it’s midnight…”

“Merry Christmas, Kaveh, you dumbass.”

“Merry Christmas. Now kiss me, please.”

—-

VENTI STOPS HIMSELF FROM COMMITTING A MURDER

after kaeya leaves venti and diluc his cat to take care of, things go south fast.

pairings: diluc/venti

art by the amazing @peachtaglia !!

It is December 25th, and Venti Ragdnvindr needs an allergy pill.

He is this close, this close to grabbing his brother-in-law’s blasted cat and hurling it out the window. But that would probably make him sneeze more.

It is a cute cat. A russian blue, 2 years old, named Alexandria, Kaeya had proudly told them when he dropped her off yesterday evening. Venti wishes he’d just brought the cat with him on his trip to the mountains, but the Dragonspine Ski Lodge doesn’t allow pets, and his husband does owe Kaeya a favor.

And so it’s Christmas. 6 am. He should be asleep. Or having a sleepy holiday morning makeout session with Diluc. Or opening gifts with the housestaff.

However, he can’t really do anything at the moment. As there is a cat sitting squarely on his chest, staring into him with its beady little eyes. The Ragdnvindr’s portie, Dvalin, is still curled at their feet. That’s just great. When Venti finally needs a brave guard dog, Dvalin seems to have no problem dozing away. But when he hears a doorbell ring on the TV, he’s ready to rip someone’s head off.

Diluc is still asleep, deep red hair splayed on the pillow beside Venti. His chest rises and falls, peaceful. He’s wearing a gag gift from his brother that reads “I SAVED MONDSTADT AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS SWEATER.” Venti doesn’t want to wake him.

But unfortunately, he sneezes. Diluc grumbles and sits up, sighing.

“Merry Christmas, Ven-“

“Diluc. The cat is going to kill me, Diluc.”

“…What?”

The evil creature yawns, and stretches. Venti shrieks.

“Hon, it’s just a little kitten. Want me to move her?”

Venti shakes his head, and sneezes again. “NO!! Don’t touch it! It’s not safe!”

Diluc roles his eyes and smiles, reaching for the cat.

With a yowel, she launches herself at the couple, claws bared. Venti tries to scream, but instead falls into a fit of sneezing.

By the time they manage to put the cat in her cage, Venti’s nose is red and both him and Diluc are covered in scratches.

Diluc, surprisingly, laughs.

“Well, that was certainly some way to start Christmas. Wanna go back to bed?”

Venti grins. “That sounds lovely.”

—-

again, merry christmas and thanks for checking this out!! so much love and thanks to @peachtaglia @eternal-moss @nickwildelvr @kavehboobs for making stunning art <33

hope y’all enjoyed!!

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nicheanimegame · 11 months

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Figure 17 - A profound and deeply personal slice-of-life/sci-fi twist on the magical girl formula

Figure 17 - Tsubasa & Hikaru is a 2001, 13-episode (46 minute each!) show created by, as leaf so kindly put, “the studio of all time”: OLM, Inc. OLM is responsible for a few recent vaguely relevant titles that I’m actually not familiar with at all, but more notably they produced To Heart and Comic Party back in 2001. Oh, and also Pokémon. And Beyblade. And Cardfight!! Vanguard. And just a metric shit-ton of video game and multi-media adaptations, with majority of their wholly original series being children’s anime. Figure 17 is interesting conceptually in this line-up just because while it is literally about children, it has a very quiet and patient atmosphere more on par with the deliberate, thought-provoking* stories of Bee Train’s prominent catalogue (that is, titles like Noir and .hack//Sign).

*Which is not to say that children’s shows aren’t capable of being that but I’d be hard pressed to say that something like Noir is explicitly for kids.

For the sake of not writing (and subjecting you to) an entire thesis paper on this show’s themes, I am going to structure this post similarly to that of a MAL review - discuss the art, story, characters, sound/music as succinctly as possible and maximally spoiler-free, although hopefully without the undertone that I’m also a Reddit regular. I just want to lay down what it is that makes Figure 17 so unbelievably good. Oh, yeah, I haven’t mentioned that up until now, have I? Figure 17 has got to be one of the best shows I have ever seen and that judgement stands both in regards to its impact on me, personally, and what I believe are its objective strengths.

ART/ANIMATION

This is a fairly controversial category that I’m not gonna spend too much time in because generally speaking, art is “good” if it achieved what it set out to do. If smooth animation is your fancy, may I direct you to YouTube dot com, which features a plethora of animation degree graduates’ portfolios. With that out of the way and the skin of an elitist shed, the backgrounds in this show are so pretty.

The background art team here did not hold back in the slightest and I commend them both on their raw skill and because these establishing shots set the tone and atmosphere for a good majority of this show. A solid portion of it is in fact spent watching these landscapes slide by, often times in complete silence (a standout Bee Train similarity), but never does it feel like padding, in large part due to the undeniable feeling of comfort that this countryside evokes.

As far as animation is concerned, I won’t deny that this stuff is quite smooth. Children have the mannerisms of children and the action, however infrequent it may be (I’d say that each episode has about as much action as your average 24-minute episode of a similar premise, not counting the last), pays off with a lively rhythm. Not to mention that the characters are always well-drawn and carefully shaded, giving each character and the scene they are within an appropriate and impressive amount of depth. We also can’t forget the character designer for this show, Yuriko Chiba, who’s worked on Berserk, To Heart, and Code Geass and she brought her absolute A-game, as always.

And since this is also a show about aliens and sci-fi, oh my god the aliens are gross, and I mean that as a huge compliment. The first episode had me physically recoiling away from the screen in my seat, thinking, “God dammit, leaf, I thought we agreed that you’re not gonna recommend me anything that’ll keep me awake at night.”. They are considerably less gross throughout, with the focus being more on the battles with them than the perpetual horror of the monsters themselves, but I promise (or warn, I guess) that they do get gross again at the end. These things are intricate in their alien-ness, unnerving in both the way that they move and the way that they are and the show never holds back in detailing every part of them in all of their fleshy glory.

SOUND/MUSIC

The mostly-MIDI OST contains 40 tracks, a solid portion of which I believe are exclusive to the tense moments of the first episode and the last two, as there is a distinct soundscape within all the episodes in-between. There is one particular melody that is weaved within every scene that it needs to be in, in order to unify and then properly evoke your emotions at a later point. It’s catchy and never overstays its welcome, often serving as a backdrop to convey emotions that cannot be summatively expressed as “happy” or “sad”, especially as the melody slowly snowballs with connotations as the show goes on. It’s a Pavlov’s dog response, of sorts, or maybe it’s just good scoring, but this show doesn’t suffer from an overabundance of minor little tracks to hold your hand along every emotional moment. Every melody has its purpose, and when it’s not being used for that specific purpose, there is silence. Sometimes (but honestly, not frequently, to my recollection) it’s intercut with the natural sounds of the countryside. Other times, it’s a heavy, genuinely empty silence, used at points of panning over the scenery, of character deliberation, and the grounded and “mundane”.

We can’t not mention the aliens, of course, which sound as fleshy and otherworldly in all of the most unpleasant of ways as they look. And I’ll also give it this: for a show made in 2001, somehow it made me adjust my volume less throughout the duration of any number of episodes than majority of modern shows that excessively alternate their quietest moments with their loudest. I am no sound designer but I think a show that doesn’t make me go “Wait, did someone say something?” or “Oh, please shut the fuck up!” and have me reach for the knob on my speaker, is probably a show whose sound has been well-mixed.

STORY / CHARACTER(S)

Before I begin, here’s Anilist’s summary of this show: “Tsubasa Shiina is a 10-year-old girl who recently moved to Hokkaido to live with her father. In school, she is very quiet and unsociable with her classmates. Then one night, she witnesses a UFO crash in the forest near her home. She rushes to the scene and finds the pilot, codenamed "D.D.", in a barely stable condition. Also in the scene is a Maguar, a hideous alien that hatched aboard D.D.'s ship. As the Maguar is close to taking Tsubasa's life, an alien lifeform fuses with her body to form the Riberus battle armor Figure 17, which shortly destroys the alien threat. The life form takes the name Hikaru and turns into an identical twin of Tsubasa. As time passes, Tsubasa becomes more open to everyone around her, thanks to her new twin sister Hikaru. However, with Maguar eggs scattered all over Hokkaido, their ability to form Figure 17 is needed to eliminate all hatched Maguars until backup from D.D.'s home planet arrives on Earth.”

This summary is … haphazard at best. I think the reason that it rubs me in all of the wrong places is that not once does it mention the most important piece of this set-up: Tsubasa goes to live with her father in Hokkaido because her mother died. Wikipedia at least mentions this fact, sure, but for some reason it’s still framed as one of those episodic little life lessons about growing up and things changing, as if it’s just a trivial one-note plot like any other. While this is a show with children as the primary characters, I struggle to call this a children’s story. Figure 17 is a story about grief. Namely, Tsubasa’s grief.

It’s a very honest rendition of grief that reaches much deeper than what I reckon is the usual representation of just … “missing someone to a crippling extent”. Furthermore, I don’t know about any media that addressed a child’s grief with any nuance beyond the usual plot of “an overly-self-reliant kid that steps up to the plate within their home to fill whatever void has been left behind with the occasional overwhelming breakdown and eventual reconciliation that they still have to be a child to some extent and have to allow themselves to be vulnerable”.

Grief is, more often than not, framed as something that is, for lack of a better term, easy. Like it is something that can be cried out a few times and tempered with a reminder to hold your head up higher. If you’re an adult, it’s just something that you have to learn to deal with because “all things end” and you should have the maturity to look ever onward. At best, the common, even earnest! story about grief, ultimately ends up conflating it to regret. Representations and renditions of grief don’t often tell you about how it comes and goes in tidal waves, about how much it hurts to have that piece of you severed. They’re not particularly fond of addressing that unfillable void left in their place, nor do they bring up that choking anxiety that it will happen again, and you don’t know when or to whom. And most damningly, absent is that acute helplessness of finding yourself there, again, having convinced yourself that you’re better. If you’ve compartmentalized it enough, if you’ve gone through it once, then surely, you can hold your ground at least a little bit? and yet your knees still give out beneath you and you’re enveloped in that utterly hollow shroud.

Figure 17 is different.

The evident elephant…s in the room are the aliens but as far as I’m aware, I don’t think it would’ve worked as a stand-alone slice of life, just like I don’t think it would’ve worked as a stand-alone OVA about some kids fighting some aliens. Even if at some point these elements may have been separate, I wouldn’t consider the slice of life a reprieve from the action or the action a “reward” for the viewer that had the patience to sit through the slice of life. The dynamics of one fit into the other in a meaningful way that goes beyond the usual, “We have to keep our identities a secret!”. Spoiler alert — they do keep their identities a secret. This story isn’t about that.

Figure 17 is slow, but not meandering. The scenery is chewed just enough to feel lived in and the dialogue, as far as I can tell from the cadence of the voice actors and the English subtitles, is natural. I will say that at many points I held my breath, thinking that there's no way this show could possibly weave through this so flawlessly and not fall to any of the usual dramatic conventions, but I’m pleased to announce it does. Every single character feels like a real person and no one is blatantly antagonized. There are familiar faces in the characters like “shy girl”, “boyish, outgoing girl”, “rowdy boy who’s probably poor”, “class rep girl” and “difficult teenager”, just to name a few, but they feel less like stereotypes and more so just as the people we’d encounter in our day to day. They go beyond their pre-determined roles without ever miraculously metamorphosing into somebody else entirely after “seeing the error of their way”.

I think what I appreciate most about this story is that it’s not fixated on a take-away, hence my affectionate Bee Train comparison. I hyperfocused so much on the summaries partially because I think that they themselves are too fixated on the idea that a story has to have an ultimatum. To “learn”, to “become” — they’re such confining words, aren’t they? In the context of a narrative, when such a premise is presented, the assumption then is that is what will happen, that there is a moment where we can conclusively say that that is what occurred and/or was reached. This story isn’t about that. Will it be considered strange or unappealing for that exact fact? Yeah, probably. And it’s also probably the reason why this show, made by a prolific studio with a proven team and profound art direction never cemented a spot in public consciousness. But why is that the pedestal all media is obligated to be held to?

FINAL THOUGHTS

rat (05/10/2023 6:57 PM)

So i uh finished figure 17

leaf (05/10/2023 7:13 PM)

wait was it that good?

rat (05/10/2023 7:14 PM)

I will need a night to sleep on it to put it into words

yes

I’m like

[an emoji that conveys that I’m vibrating at an audible frequency]

leaf (05/10/2023 7:15 PM)

OLM really is the studio of all time

rat (05/10/2023 7:16 PM)

On god

#figure 17 #2001 - 2002 #OLM inc #mod 🐀#kinda crazy how much hella anime is buried in the archives of the 2000s #it was tough to write this without getting carried away emotionally #it's like ... a really humble show if that makes sense #it's technically adequate in every single regard but it's never trying to flex #it just uses all of its strengths to tell a really good story

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beehindblueeyes · 2 years

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So, I'm new to the The Black Phone tag, I pretty much have only been following you (your info posts are amazing. I love them so much) because almost every other blog I found only published Grabber fics. Now, after finally getting to see the movie, I decided to check the tag a little more ( hoping to find people talking about the movie and maybe a fic or to about what it was like after the movie or a more in depth about Finneys days in the basement), but I can only really find X Readers

Like, the movie was amazing and the implications in it and the possibility to explore what haplened next are so fascinating, but all I can find are either Grabber x Reader or the ghost kids x reader. I... Am I insane? For hoping there would be more to it than that? I don't mind fics, but really?? Nothing about the trauma? The PTSD?? Finney snapped someone's neck for Pete's sake!

I'm sorry for ranting, you're just the only blog for this movie I've found that actually talks about the movie

Hey! Sorry I didn’t answer this sooner I just have a bunch of school work to do and I can’t post as consistently/often as I did over the summer sadly. And once again thank you 🥺 it means a lot to know I make stuff people genuinely enjoy (esp because a lot of reblogs lately don’t comment or say thing I the tags so I never know).

Ok don’t even get me starteddddddddd! I made a post about this a while ago and it’s really just gotten worse. It’s the fandomization. NOPE gets to have fanart and people talking about the movie and it’s details and we don’t sadly. And your right, for the most part the tags been X. Reader and little else. I like to point out details and make fics exploring the little things and the character arcs for myself and all those who like it but at the end of the day I’m only one person in the sea of content. I get drown out. Something something make the stuff you wanna see you know?

In my old post I also talked about the fandom when the movie first came out and there wasn’t that many of us… it was great! It was talking about the movie, making art, jokes , commentary etc. A bunch of people talking about and making stuff for a movie they really enjoyed and then it got more popular… not that the movie doesn’t deserve that popularity just that it brings out the real wild and off topic people, someone said It before me but it’s the honest to god IT 2017 treatment where all the analysis, fanart etc gets washed away by content that is so ooc it’s practically ocs alongside X reader and being REALLY creepy about a cast of kids. 😫

Part of me wants to say that the reason is… well Kids. I know the content I made when I was 13 and irs similar (not that I’m a old man or anything just I’ve grown as a person and literally). Edgy for edge. Not quite fully grasping the character or knowing how to character study so just going off fan interpretation (which… see fandomization). Etc. Not to say everyone else is a bad writer or is a child but a influx of the stuff currently flooding tags gives me the vibes 🤷‍♀️

Idk man, there’s a few more like me but we all get drowned out.

#asks #slightly bitter #I’m also not trying to be the fun police I just want to talk about the movie and find other people like me #without digging through piles of X reader of modern headcannons..#the black phone #black phone #the black phone 2022 #fandomization #fandom problems

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doctorofmagic · 3 years

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My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

#what if...?#doctor strange #stephen strange #what if doctor strange lost his heart instead of his hands?#wong #christine palmer #the ancient one #long post #review #he did nothing wrong #so what? he destroyed a whole universe #/j #benedict cumberbatch

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no-reply95 · 3 years

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Jealous Guys

Something I’ve been thinking about for a while now is the different ways jealousy manifested for John and Paul over the course of their friendship.

I’m going to look at John and Paul in turn and have a look at some of the key ways jealousy appeared, before, during and after the Beatles period. This will be a looooong post so if you want to go on deep dive keep reading below.

John

Jealousy was something that John acknowledged as a big part of his personality, as far as I’m aware, he only acknowledged his jealousy publicly in terms of his relationship with Yoko but I believe jealousy was a feature of all of John’s major relationships. John’s first real partnership was with Pete Shotton, his childhood best friend, and Pete has outlined how John’s jealousy and possessiveness was a feature in their friendship with them falling out when Pete first started showing interest in girls and with John acting out when Pete started to spend more time with other friends, instead of him, here Pete recounts John’s reflection on this period of their friendship:

“Years later John confessed to having felt acutely jealous throughout that interlude: “I was scared shitless I’d lost you after our fight in science class, when you starting playing with David Jones. I really thought I’d gone too far with you that time.“

Pete Shotton, John Lennon: In My Life , 1983

Pete’s recollections establish a pattern in John’s life of acting out due to a fear of abandonment and losing those who are closest to him so it’s not surprising that once John had formed a strong bond with Paul that would stir similar fears in him.

Below I’ve categorised the groups of people that were the focus of John’s jealousy and have picked one person from each group as an example:

Family - Jim McCartney

Paul’s family was and continues to be a big part of his life. From the outset of their friendship, John was made aware of how important Jim was to Paul and vice versa. John and Paul had to skip school to hang out together because Jim wouldn’t have John in their house initially and John confessed his resentment of Jim’s influence over Paul’s life. It appears that after some time John grew tired of having to contend with Jim for the position of the most important person in Paul’s life, and this culminated in John giving Paul a pseudo ultimatum as John discussed in 1971:

“But Paul would always give in to his dad. His dad told him to get a job, he fucking dropped the group and started working on the fucking lorries, saying, "I need a steady career." We couldn't believe it… “So I told him on the phone, "Either come or you're out." So he had to make a decision between me and his dad then, and in the end he chose me”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Friends - Mal Evans

Throughout the active years of the band it was typical of them to refer to each other as their best friends and, given the lives they led, I think the simple fact that no one else could understand what it was like to be a Beatle would have meant they all shared a special bond. However, they all had friendships outside of the band and this was something that could cause issues for John when it came to Paul.

According to Tune In, Mal initially became friends with Paul during the band's initial shows at the Cavern Club then, after a suggestion from George, Mal became a part of the Beatles entourage thereafter. Mal had friendships with all the Beatles, as part of their inner circle, but from his comments it appears John took umbrage with the closeness of Mal’s friendship with Paul:

“Paul would suddenly come in with this circle saying, “This is Magical Mystery Tour, will you write that bit?” And I was choked that he’d arranged it all with Mal anyway, for a kickoff, and had all this idea going”

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

Mal also comes up when John discusses his recollections of the writing of Eleanor Rigby:

“So rather than ask me, “John, do these lyrics—” Because by that period, he didn’t want to say that – to me. Okay? So what he would say was, “Hey, you guys, finish off the lyrics,”... “ Now, I sat there with Mal Evans, a road manager who was a telephone installer, and Neil Aspinall, who was a not-completed student accountant who became our road manager. And I was insulted and hurt that he’d thrown it out in the air”...” There might be a version that they contributed, but there isn’t a line in there that they put in.“

Playboy interview, David Sheff 1980

John’s discomfort with the closeness of Paul’s relationship with Mal was something that wasn’t lost on Mal’s wife Lil:

“He was always at their beck and call. He was a nice fella to have around, so much so that it could provoke little jealousies within the band. When I met Yoko years after Mal died, she said John had told her he’d been very jealous at one point of Mal’s relationship with Paul.”

Lil Evans interview with Ray Connolly, 2005

Love interests - Linda McCartney

Throughout their friendship both John and Paul had quite a few love interests, which (to varying degrees) prompted jealousy between them.

Although John displayed jealousy of a few of Paul’s love interests this was no more apparent than with Paul’s first wife Linda McCartney, which is confirmed by both John’s words and actions regarding Linda and her partnership with Paul:

“"Then Klein informed Lennon that McCartney had secretly been increasing his stake in Northern Songs. ‘John flew into a rage,’ recalled Apple executive Peter Brown. ‘At one point I thought he was really going to hit Paul, but he managed to calm himself down.’ One unconfirmed report of this meeting had Lennon leaping towards Linda McCartney, his fists raised in her face"

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money

"Int: When did you first meet her [Linda]? John: The first time I saw her was after that press conference to announce Apple in America. We were just going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive, I wondered what he was bothering having her in the car for. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

St. Regis Hotel interview, Sept. 5, 1971

“I was reading your letter and wondering what middle aged cranky Beatle fan wrote it... "What the hell—it’s Linda! . . . Linda— if you don’t care what I say—shut up!—let Paul write—or whatever.”

"Of course, the money angle is important—to all of us—especially after all the petty shit that came from your insane family/in laws—and GOD HELP YOU OUT, PAUL—see you in two years—I reckon you’ll be out then"

Draft letter from John Lennon to Linda McCartney, circa 1971

"The presumption is a) the Beatles would get together again or are even thinking about it and b) if they got together, John and Yoko split, Paul and Linda split"

John (with Yoko) talks to John Fielding on Weekend World, 1973

"John often speculated on why Paul and Linda remained married while, at the same time, resenting their evident happiness, to the extent that he had Green do a tarot reading to ensure him that Paul and Linda were really secretly miserable and were going to divorce within a year"

According to Fred Seaman and John Green, source

Paul

Of course jealousy wasn't a one-way street in the Lennon-McCartney relationship. Unlike with John, for Paul I'm focusing more on the key people I believe his jealousy, regarding John, was directed to:

Stuart Sutcliffe

John met Stu at Art College and struck up a really close friendship with him. At the point that John met Stu, John had already become friends with Paul so Paul felt threatened when Stu entered the picture:

"When he [Stu] came into the band, around Christmas of 1959, we were a little jealous of him; it was something I didn’t deal with very well. We were always slightly jealous of John’s other friendships.

When Stuart came in, it felt as if he was taking the position away from George and me. We had to take a bit of a back seat."

Paul McCartney, Anthology 2000

"Paul was saying something about Stu’s girl – he was jealous because she was a great girl, and Stu hit him, on stage. And Stu wasn’t a violent guy at all."

John Lennon, 1967 Anthology 2000

"I looked up to Stu. I depended on him to tell me the truth. Stu would tell me if something was good and I’d believe him. We were awful to him sometimes. Especially Paul, always picking on him. I used to explain afterwards that we didn’t dislike him, really."

John Lennon, The Beatles Hunter Davies 1968

Yoko Ono

Of all the relationships I've already discussed, the relationship and jealousy displayed from Paul towards Yoko is probably the most widely discussed in Beatles historiography and general discourse. From the official start of Yoko's relationship with John in 1968 it was clear that Paul resented her presence in John's life and her proximity to the band:

"He even sent them [John and Yoko] a hate letter once, unsigned, typed. I brought it in with the morning mail. Paul put most of his fan mail in a big basket and let it sit for weeks, but John and Yoko opened every piece. When they got to the anonymous note, they looked puzzled, looking at each other with genuine pain in their eyes. ‘You and your Jap tart think you’re hot shit’, it said."

Francie Schwartz, Body Count 1972

"Cause she’s [Yoko] very much to do with it from John’s angle, that’s the thing, you know. And I – the thing is that I – there’s— Again, like, there’s always only two answers. One is to fight it, and fight her, and try and get The Beatles back to four people without Yoko, and sort of ask her to sit down at the board meetings. Or else, the other thing is to just realize that she’s there, you know. And he’s not gonna sort of – split with her, just for our sakes."

Paul McCartney, Let It Be Sessions, 1969

"I told John on the phone the other day that at the beginning of last year I was annoyed with him. I was jealous because of Yoko, and afraid about the break-up of a great musical partnership. It’s taken me a year to realise that they were in love. Just like Linda and me."

Paul McCartney, interview with Ray Connolly, 1970

What are the similarities and differences in the way jealousy manifested for John and Paul?

I think it's obvious but bears repeating that both John and Paul displayed jealousy towards other people who they felt would threaten their relationship so that's central to all the instances I have flagged, Jim, Mal, Linda, Stu, Yoko all posed real or imagined threats to John and Paul's partnership.

However, you'll note that I included more sources to display John's jealousy regarding Paul and that I categorised John's jealousy targets whereas I only pulled out two key individuals for Paul, this isn't to say that John was more jealous than Paul was, as jealousy isn't something you can quantify, but to highlight my opinion that Paul's jealousy regarding John was more targeted than John's jealousy regarding Paul. I think what stands out to me is that, I think generally Stu and Yoko are held up as the prime examples of Paul's jealousy of other people getting close to John, as far as we know, Paul never had significant issues with other people who formed close relationships with John like Pete Shotton, Cynthia Lennon, Magic Alex etc., why was that? I think that Paul was more threatened when he felt that John was replacing him so by bringing Stu into the band (even though he wasn't a musician) and Yoko into the studio (one instance where Paul was especially hurt was when John gave Paul's line in The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill to Yoko to sing), Paul perhaps felt that his place as John's primary collaborator was in jeopardy and that he could lose a partnership that had become central to his self-worth as a person - that, I believe, was when his jealousy was most likely to rise to the fore. John, on the other hand, had a much wider range of targets when it came to jealousy regarding Paul, why was John jealous of Linda? Linda wasn't trying to replace John as Paul's collaborator, if anything she wanted the Lennon-McCartney partnership to be stronger. Why was John jealous of Mal? Mal wasn't a musician, Mal was a huge fan of the band and constantly worked to fulfil their requests, so why was John so threatened by his friendship with Paul? For me, John's jealousy regarding Paul was more than just a fear of directly being replaced, I believe John's jealousy was fundamentally triggered by a fear of abandonment. I think the childhood trauma John experienced, of being left by both his parents, meant that whenever any of his close friendships and relationships were threatened, or he felt that someone close to him may leave him, he would act out. John fell out with his childhood best friend Pete when he got a girlfriend, John hit Cynthia when he saw her dancing with Stu, John was rude to several of Paul's love interests and ultimately John never fully accepted Paul's relationship with Linda because, although he could see that she could offer Paul the family life he always wanted, John didn't want Linda to take Paul away and give him a family that meant that Paul would no longer be able to prioritise John in his life as he had in the past.

Ultimately, we'll never know all the ways that jealousy factored into John and Paul's relationship with each other and those around them, as I'm sure it impacted several relationships in more complex ways than I can articulate (i.e. I suspect jealousy played a part in Paul's initial resentment of Brian but they grew closer over time so maybe Paul's jealousy lessened over time or Brian became less of a threat?). I do think it's important to consider that jealousy was present on both sides and was likely a factor in the breakdown of John and Paul's relationship, the breakdown of the Beatles and was a continued factor in disrupting reconciliations between John and Paul into the 70s and 1980.

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #paul and linda #john and yoko #jealous guy #linda mccartney #yoko ono #stuart sutcliffe #mal evans #jim mccartney #brian epstein #long post #thoughts

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1dmonthlyficroundup · 3 years

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1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

#28th appreciation #tracksintheam #trackinghome #trackinghappily #1dsource #one direction fan fic

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duhragonball · 3 years

Note

What are your favorite fights from each anime iteration of Dragon Ball? (DB/Z/GT/Super etc. Yknow lol) I’m curious!

This is a good ask, anon. Just wanted to point it out.

I'm not sure how long a list I want to make for this, because if I really go nuts with this I'll probably end up covering like 75% of the fights in the franchise. But I don't want to just pick one favorite fight from each series, because that feels too short. Tell you what, let's just play it by ear and see how this goes. I won't bother ranking these, because I'm not sure I can.

OG Dragon Ball

1) Goku vs. Jackie Chun, 21st World Tournament final

2) Goku vs. Tien Shinhan, 22nd World Tournament final

3) Goku vs. Piccolo Junior, 23rd World Tournament final.

We'll start with these, because they're tentpole moments for the series, and they define Goku's character arc so well. The Jackie Chun fight was pretty short, but it was really the first big fight in the franchise, and it set the tone for all the later battles to follow. What makes it work is how Chun is determined to keep Goku from winning, not for his own sake, but because he thinks Goku will lose interest in martial arts if he wins a big tournament on his first try. Chun entered as a ringer, but he finds Goku a lot harder to stop than he expected, and the match very nearly ends in a draw.

So you'd think Goku would be a shoo-in at the next tournament, but he has to get through Tien for that, and Tien turns out to be extremely tough and he wants to murder Goku to avenge his master's brother. It's an awesome fight, made more awesome by the way Tien's character arc begins to overtake the action itself. He starts out wanting Goku dead, then decides he'd rather fight fair because he enjoys the competition too much.

So by the time we get to the 23rd tournament, the contest itself feels like an afterthought. This is just the venue for the more important showdown between Goku and Piccolo. Except Goku still wants that World title. It means a lot to him, and no one else seems to get that. Through this whole arc, everyone is scared shitless of Piccolo, worrying that Goku might not be able to beat him. But Goku has a game plan, and he sticks to it and powers on through to victory. And yet it's still this insanely close match. I dare say this is the most even battle in the franchise, but Goku seems like an underdog to start out, and by the end of it, you see that he had things under control the whole time.

4) Goku vs. Red Ribbon Army HQ

5) Goku vs. King Piccolo

6) Goku vs. Grandpa Gohan

I guess you can call these #reference fights, because when I rewatched these episodes in 2019, I noticed how much they resembled battles I've written in to my big-ass OC fanfic. Goku just charging headlong into an army base is sort of the prototype for Saiyan mayhem, and when I started writing Luffa I quickly realized that this would have to be the sort of combat she'd be used to. There's no Vegeta or Perfect Cell to tackle a thousand years ago. She's got no rival, so her best bet is to fight large armies single-handedly, as Goku does here.

Likewise, I ended up inventing a lot of villains who think themselves invincible, only to get knocked on their ass when they find out how vincible they really are. King Piccolo's meltdown during this battle is a sight to behold, because once he starts losing, all he knows how to do is talk about his fearsome reputation, except it's completely hollow when the other guy is feeding you a can of whoop-ass. He just doesn't know how to process this beating, and that's always left an impression with me.

Let's just say, hypothetically speaking, that you had this character who has some relation to another character, and gosh, wouldn't it be nice if they could meet and fight each other, and one of them could leap forward beyond their natural lifespan to make that happen? I dunno, maybe it'd be kind of emotional? I haven't actually written anything like that so far, but if I ever do, it'll probably resemble Goku vs. Grandpa Gohan quite a bit.

Dragon Ball Z

1) Goku vs. Vegeta

I mean, what else can you say here? This one's a classic.

2) Anybody vs. Cell, pretty much.

Obviously, the Goku and Gohan fights from the Cell Games are the best of the best, but Cell's entire run in DBZ is awesome, including the fights he has with Vegeta, Trunks, Android 16, Piccolo... you just can't lose. I could go on, but I don't want to get too far down this one category.

3) Pikkon vs. Goku.

This one gets dunked on a lot because it's filler, but it's excellent. Just a friendly competition where everyone's dead and there's nothing at stake but bragging rights and fighting spirit. Pikkon's a brilliant opponent and Goku has to find a way to beat him, and that's really all the story you need, sometimes.

4) Goku-Vegeta II

This one's a bit wonky because there's no clear-cut winner and the Buu crisis overshadows it, and it doesn't quite hold up compared to the original Goku/Vegeta fight, but it's still awesome, because of the buildup and also a lot of the intensity. It kind of functions as a coda to the Androids/Cell Saga, where both guys were Super Saiyans but they never got a chance to duke it out. As it turns out, they're so evenly matched that it kind of works against the fight. One of them does a big move, and the other one just shrugs it off like nothing happened. In a way it's kind of the opposite of the Goku/Piccolo fight. When it's a couple of Super Saiyan 2's, there's just no way for anybody to pull ahead, and ultimately their battle takes on a very tragic tone, which is awesome.

5) Majin Buu vs. Everybody in Season 9.

Okay, apparently Tumblr won't let me post any more images, but that's cool, you all know what Buu looks like. I remember flipping through an issue of Beckett DBZ Collector at the grocery in 2003 or 2004, and it did this top ten fights article, with this as #1. I just liked the sheer gall of counting the entire Fusion and Kid Buu Sagas as one big fight. But let's face it, it works. From the moment Evil Buu shows up to the Spirit Bomb finale, it's basically nonstop action for Majin Buu, as he takes on one opponent after another in a zany gauntlet. And sure, I'd probably say Vegito and SSJ3 Goku were my favorite portions of that larger battle, but it's tough to isolate any one section.

Dragon Ball GT: There were no good fights in GT.

Dragon Ball Super

1) The Tournament of Power.

I suppose this also counts as one big battle, although my absolute favorite part is when Caulifla and Kale battle Goku and he ends up using Ultra Instinct to beat them.

There's also a lot to be said for Vegeta vs. God of Destruction Toppo, and the whole endgame with Jiren against Goku, 17, and Frieza. Oh, and the part where Universe 9 gets wiped out in one episode.

For my money, Dragon Ball Super doesn't really get off the blocks until the Tournament of Power begins, which has always frustrated me about DBS. It's basically one really good run of episodes at the tail end of an otherwise lackluster series. The U6 tournament was pretty weak and the Zamasu/Goku Black saga was downright pathetic.

Movie-wise... let me see here. Mystical Adventure had some good action, Dead Zone, Cooler 1, Super Android 13, Broly 1, Fusion Reborn and Wrath of the Dragon were classics, and Battle of Gods and Super Broly had some excellent fights too.

And yeah, I think that about covers it.

#dragon ball #ask duhragonball #dbgt has no good fights #no i will not elaborate #what else can i say?#if there was a decent fight in gt i would talk about it

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dannypuro · 3 years

Note

You said your askbox was open so!! From Something Telling I am very invested in the mutual pining of Feuilly and Baz and just that individually they were like. Whispering their feels to their friends. I am parched for any details of. Them. If you are amenable. BYE <3

YOU!!! YOU UNDERSTAND!!!! YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL ASKS AND GIANT COMMENTS UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANT PARTS OF SOMETHING TELLING ma’am i owe you my life. i adore you. and yes, without further ado... A Very Long Post about the boys.

feuilly moves into bahorel’s apartment building when he first moves to france, like, five or six years before the start of Something Telling. and he doesn’t speak a lot of french at ALL, at first, because he wasn’t expecting to move, but he got an opportunity with a gallery kind of last minute and he only had time to panic and duolingo it up a little bit. but he moves into baz’s apartment building, all the way up in the tiny attic apartment, and he doesn’t hire any movers because he’s broke, and that would be fine, except the elevator breaks sometime between when he goes out to find some furniture and when he gets said furniture delivered to outside the building. and now he has to figure out how to get this stupid second-hand couch up five flights of stairs and he doesn’t even know anyone in the country he can call for help.

cue bahorel, coming back from the gym and all sweaty and gross. (nasty.) and he’s never seen feuilly before, but he is CERTAINLY seeing him now. 👁👁. and they have an awkward little conversation--all “hey, dude, do you, like, need a hand?” and poor feuilly desperately trying to remember his duolingo to figure out what the fuck this hot guy is saying to him. bahorel is instantly enamored--feuilly is fucking pretty, okay, and he’s funny and his accent is cute and baz just fucking knows feuilly’s smarter than him and he’s so fucking into it. just. he’s so into him.

and the thing is, baz is pretty sure feuilly’s maybe into him, too--he helps him drag the couch up the stairs, and they make conversation, and he thinks that he’s flirting, a little, and he’s definitely ogling baz up a bit. and, like, yeah, sure--he knows he’s hot, and feuilly’s smoking hot, in an overworked, tired, starving artist way, so... yeah. he’s totally gonna sleep with his brand-new hot neighbor.

only, then they start talking about why feuilly’s moving into the building--he tells baz that he’s new to paris, new to france, and he doesn’t know anybody, doesn’t even really speak french, and he moved for work but he doesn’t really know what he’ll do outside of that, and he’s just so! fucking! charming! and smart! and baz is like. right. well. 🥺, dude.

they get up to feuilly’s apartment (and HOOOO, feuilly’s pretty strong, actually 👁👁 wow 👁👁 what a coincidence bahorel is shredded as well👁👁 maybe we can hook up and be shredded together👁👁) and set the couch down. and bahorel looks around his empty little attic apartment and takes in his nearly-empty kitchen and his one beautiful houseplant in the middle of the room, because that’s where the most light is, and he can’t just LEAVE. not when feuilly doesn’t have any friends. feuilly’s awesome, baz already knows it! he should meet baz’s awesome friends!

only, feuilly’s kind of- feuilly’s kind of leaning in, a bit, and bahorel has hooked up with enough dudes to know when someone’s putting on the moves. and he’s SO into it, and he almost just kisses him, almost hooks up with him on the couch that they just hauled up five flights of stairs together, only-

only, if feuilly’s a one-night stand, he won’t want to meet baz’s awesome friends, and he seems so lonely. so bahorel takes one for the team. and instead of leaning in to make out with the hottest dude he’s ever met, he’s just like HEY MY FRIENDS ARE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER TONIGHT WANNA COME YOU CAN MEET THEM THEY’RE SUPER NICE AND COOL. (oh, god, he really hopes feuilly wants to.)

feuilly’s a little taken aback, for obvious reasons, but- but he does want to meet bahorel’s friends, and mostly, he wants to spend some more time with bahorel, and it’s a shame that he wasn’t reading the room right when he thought baz was into him, but, well, you can’t have everything. maybe he can’t get laid by his super-hot neighbor, but hey, if he can meet some people who don’t mind that he doesn’t actually speak french yet, and if he can get to know bahorel a little better, he’ll take it.

feuilly goes to the party. jehan adores him, obviously. feuilly doesn’t, like... get what’s up with them, yet, since he didn’t watch french media growing up and therefore missed all of their child-stardom, but he likes them just fine, anyways. jehan’s like 20 and is blazed out of their mind and is having a medieval phase (one of many). feuilly is confused, but also within 90 minutes realizes that he would INSTANTLY throw hands with ANYONE if it was for jehan’s sake. so.

jehan’s all like “go talk to grantaire! he knows all sorts of things about art! he’s working on painting me naked!” so feuilly goes to talk to the lump in the corner but like. listen. grantaire’s having a hard time. he doesn’t make an awesome first impression. not awful, just... he’s having a hard time. feuilly gets it. they become better friends a little later, mostly because bahorel keeps dragging feuilly around with him whenever he’s free. (not like feuilly minds)

but feuilly doesn’t make a move on bahorel again. because he must have misread the situation, right? otherwise they would have fucked. they’d BE fucking. too bad bahorel doesn’t like him like that. oh, well, at least they’re friends!

bahorel DOES like him like that. duh. feuilly’s awesome. but he hasn’t made a move on bahorel since that first afternoon. he’s probably just not that into bahorel, past the one-night-stand type stuff. oh, well, at least they’re friends!

life goes on. they hang out a lot. like, a LOT. they’re totally each other’s best friends. feuilly learns more french. (baz is actually super relieved when he can’t quite manage to get rid of the accent, even though he would never say so, because that would hurt feuilly’s feelings. baz tries not to act like a dick around feuilly, even though he kind of is one around other people, sometimes. he just... wants feuilly to like him.) feuilly gets absorbed into the group. he picks up another job, in addition to the work he’s doing for the gallery, and he’s making a little more money, which is good for both of them, because feuilly can afford meals that aren’t mostly rice, sometimes, and bahorel doesn’t have to spend all day every day wondering how he’s going to be able to get feuilly to let him pay for his food this time around. (if they were dating, baz thinks, if they were dating, he could take feuilly out for dinner and pay for it and pay for the wine and for the dessert, too, and feuilly wouldn’t be able to give him that look he shoots him whenever baz “accidentally” orders the wrong dish from the thai place down the road, so what if it always happens to be feuilly’s favorite, shut up, man, it’s a coincidence)

but feuilly’s making more money, so he decides to move out of his shitty attic apartment, because it kind of sucks, and it’s miniscule, and he’s an adult, damn it. he finds a new place that is marginally larger and marginally less shitty, and it’s not even that far away, just a couple blocks, and he tells baz he’ll be moving when his lease is up that year.

bahorel just wants to beg him to move in with him, but he only has the one bedroom, and feuilly’s not his fucking boyfriend. so he helps feuilly move, because he’s a good buddy, and he gets hammered with grantaire, after, because grantaire is lonely for someone he hasn’t met yet and bahorel is terrified that feuilly isn’t going to want to hang out with him now that they aren’t neighbors anymore.

feuilly, meanwhile, is across town at grantaire’s apartment (sans grantaire) getting blazed with jehan because he’s terrified that bahorel isn’t going to want to hang out with him now that they aren’t neighbors anymore. (jehan’s all 🥺You Are Always Welcome At My Humble Abode🥺 and feuilly’s very touched but he’s pretty sure he’s totally in love with bahorel and he’s scared and he’s also not sure that jehan even pays rent. so.)

they totally keep hanging out. obviously. (maybe a little bit less than they used to, but if baz thinks about that he’ll fucking cry.) bahorel feels a little bit like his heart is going to break, which is totally lame and which was not the plan when he agreed to help move a couch three years earlier. it’s just... there’s nobody like feuilly. there’s nobody even CLOSE to being like feuilly. and feuilly doesn’t like him. and so he spends a lot of time at grantaire’s place, and jehan finally gets their own apartment, so he’s free to cry into grantaire’s shoulder all he fucking wants.

feuilly goes on dates, sometimes. bahorel could totally treat him better than any of those dickheads. damn it.

bahorel hooks up with people, sometimes. feuilly could totally fuck him better than any of those dickheads. damn it.

and then grantaire gets a weird new roommate, or something. baz doesn’t know, fuck, nobody tells him jack shit. but he stops hearing from grantaire for a couple weeks, for the most part, and then he gets the party invite in the groupchat, and fuck, if there’s a housewarming party, he shall attend. feuilly mentions something to him about R’s new roomie being some philosopher, or something, but bahorel was kind of busy watching him fold up little origami flowers out of newspaper, so he missed all that. it’s cool, he’ll catch up.

apparently, grantaire’s roommate is from the 19th century. apparently, grantaire also has a massive fucking crush on him. huh.

when they first meet, feuilly and enjolras are kind of hilariously enamored by one another. not in a romantic way, just in a Very Intense Admiration type way. after they meet at the housewarming party, enjolras is like “I Must Find A Way To Speak With Feuilly Again, For He Is A Brilliant Mind And A Good Man” and combeferre is like... want me to invite him over? and enjy is like “No, I Must Pen Him A Letter. Yes. This Is A Good And Rational Plan.” (he spills coffee all over the letter right when he’s almost done and almost cries. ferre just invites feuilly over anyways.)

feuilly, of course, is freaking out about whether or not he can find a way to hang out with enjolras again. because! ahh!!! that’s François-Marie Enjolras, political revolutionary and philosopher!!!! feuilly’s read his essays like five times!!! what reason would he have to want to talk to feuilly? but also, like... he did want to talk to feuilly--at the party, he’d talked to feuilly for hours, and he’s so smart and a little funny and he’d listen to Feuilly go on and on about slavic history and he hadn’t looked bored once, and just- Ah!!!! and he’s trying to figure out if it would be weird if he asked enjolras if he’d want to meet over coffee when he gets combeferre’s text. (it’s something like, enjolras just composed a letter trying to ask you if you’d want to hang out with him do you want to come over before he uses up all of my printer paper? and then, also, don’t tell him i told you about the letter he’s kind of freaked about making a good impression) and feuilly’s just like. :o

and both grantaire and bahorel see enjolras and feuilly embarking on this sweet, awkward, smart person friendship and they’re like. Oh Shit. They’re In Love With Each Other. Shit. because of course feuilly would fall in love with enjolras--feuilly’s too smart for bahorel, anyways, baz has always known that, and it makes sense that he’d fall for someone who can keep up with him. and of course enjolras would fall in love with feuilly--feuilly is kind and super smart and he knows all sorts of things about modern philosophy and he’s hot, okay, and enjolras is too smart for grantaire, anyways. ugh. baz and R get hammered and cry about it together, but the shitty thing is that they can’t even be too angry, because it’s so obvious.

meanwhile, enjolras and feuilly are across town talking about their stupid crushes on their hot beefy friends. commiserating, yanno? feuilly’s all “sometimes i wish i just kissed him that first day i met him, sometimes i wish i hooked up with him at that party, maybe he would have started liking me after” and enjolras is all “why does he never wear shirts with SLEEVES, i do not know what to DO with myself!!!”

and then one day feuilly and baz are hanging out and baz is like “haha grantaire has the biggest crush on enjolras” (because he can’t keep a secret to save his life.) and feuilly’s like.... “grantaire likes enjolras?” and baz is like “uh YEAH dude. DUH” and feuilly’s like. “that can’t be right--enjolras told me grantaire doesn’t like him back” and baz is like... “bACK?” and then he’s like “WAIT ENJOLRAS DOESN’T LIKE YOU?” and feuilly is like... no?

they realize that their friends are idiots. and they try to help, really, they do--feuilly keeps suggesting that maybe, maybe, enjolras can’t know that grantaire doesn’t like him if he’s never actually asked, and he keeps pointing out things that grantaire does that nobody actually does if they’re not totally gone for somebody; bahorel is straight up just like “R bro enjolras wants to be your boy so bad” and R is like I Am Electing Not To Listen To You.

and then-

and then, they all go out to a bar together. they get hammered, etc. etc. and they’re laughing about how grantaire and enjolras are oblivious, how could they not know that they like each other, everybody keeps telling them to go for it, and then-

hold on.

hold on, because- because that’s what everybody tells bahorel about feuilly. that he should just go for it. that maybe it’s not as hopeless as he thinks. and feuilly’s just sitting there, and he’s so fucking pretty, sometimes, honestly, and bahorel loves him so much, and he’s drunk, and he can’t stand not knowing even a second longer.

#i'll post the bar scene later tonight hold yer horses #bahorel x feuilly #les miserables #les mis #kiaronna

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themousefromfantasyland · 3 years

Text

Creatures of Yuletide: Krampus, the Christmas Demon

He sees you when you're sleeping

And he knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been bad or good

So be good FOR YOUR OWN GODDAMNIT SAKE!!!

Christmas season is full of magical beings and creatures that travel through our world. Jolly old men from the north, elves that sleep in our homes, goats that give presents, the holiday season is full of all sorts of weird and wonderful characters. However, Santa Claus tends to me the most famous among them, and the most remembered in popular culture. This was, until some years ago, when a forgotten Christmas character rose in popularity in pop culture as an antithesis of good old St. Nick. I’m talking about Krampus, the Christmas Demon from German and Alpine lore.

One of the reasons why I believe Krampus became so popular recently is because he’s a scarier and less commercial alternative to Santa. In older posts I talked about how people used to tell scary ghost stories during Christmas and how Christmas once had this spooky side to it. Then one day it hit me that, in a way, Krampus is exactly a call back to these traditions. While not a ghost, Krampus brings back the scary atmosphere to the holiday. People tell stories about Krampus, they dress like him, they fright their neighbors in these costumes. People in general like to be scared, and in particular, even though they won’t admit it now, children too. Krampus is celebrated because he brings back the fun that overly commercialized Santa took out from Christmas.

Jeremy Seghers, organizer of the first Krampusnacht festival held in Orlando, said this in an interview to the Smithsonian Magazine:

"The Krampus is the yin to St. Nick's yang. You have the saint, you have the devil. It taps into a subconscious macabre desire that a lot of people have that is the opposite of the saccharine Christmas a lot of us grew up with."

Krampus is mainly a holiday tradition from the Alpine region and Central Europe in general. His name is derives from the German word krampen, meaning claw. On the night of December 5th, the eve of Saint Nicholas Feast, Krampus, and Saint Nicholas himself go out in the streets to punish or reward kids. This makes him one of the Companions of Saint Nicholas, a group of holiday figures that would help him in punishing kids. While they do the punishment, jolly old Nick brings the kids gifts, in a sort of Good Cop, Bad Cop dynamic.

Our friend St. Nick fills the shoes of good children with fruits and sweets. Krampus carries birch branches for senseless beating the misbehaving ones. On his back he is often depicted carrying a sack or a basket. This is to carry the naughty kids to his layer for more torture later. He can also eat them, threw them out in the river to drown, or bring them straight to the depths of Hell. In some parts of Austria, Krampus presents the families with gold-painted twigs that are to be displayed year-round in the house, constantly reminding the kids of his ever-watching presence.

What lovable fellow!

It was common in the 19th century to exchange Gruß vom Krampus, “Greetings from Krampus” cards that contained humorous rhymes and poems. In these Krampus is depicted looming menacingly over children. In others the creature receives sexual undertones, pursuing scantily dressed women.

There is also the Krampuslauf, or, Krampus Run, where people dress up as him and parade through the street dressed in fur suits and carved wooden masks and carrying cowbells. This one is very important for understanding Krampus origins.

Now, no one really know where Krampus comes from. The most popular theory is that he was a fertility god from the Alpine Region before Christianity retconned him as demon. Scholars often link him, Pan, and the satyrs to the archetype of the Horned God. Some claim he’s the son of Hel, but I didn’t find any real or credible source to this.

What we do know is that Krampus has some connections to a goddess in the Alpine region called Frau Perchta.

Now Frau Perchta is a very mysterious figure from the German folklore. She had many different names depending on the era and region. We don’t know a lot about her before Christianization, but what we do know is that in the folklore of Bavaria and Austria, she was a witch said to roam the countryside at midwinter, and to enter homes during the twelve days between Christmas and Epiphany. Good children would find a silver coin in their shoes. Bad children would have their bellies sliced open, their stomach and guts removed, and she would stuff the straw and pebbles in the hole left behind. She had two forms in which she could be encountered, beautiful and white as snow, or elderly and haggard.

Perchten is plural for Perchta. Originally, the word referred to female masks representing her, but the name come to refer to the animal masks worn in parades and festivals in the mountainous regions of Austria.

A Perchten mask

In the 16th century, the Perchten took two main forms: Schönperchten, "beautiful Perchten", or the Schiachperchten, "ugly Perchten”. The beautiful Perchten came during the twelve nights of Christmas and festivals to bring luck and wealth to the people. The ugly Perchten, who had fangs, tusks and horse tails which were used to drive out demons and ghosts. Men dressed as the ugly Perchten during this time and went from house to house driving out bad spirits.

From the Smithsonian Magazine: A man dressed in a traditional Perchten costume and mask performs during a Perchten festival in the western Austrian village of Kappl, November 13, 2015. Each year in November and January, people in the western Austria regions dress up in Perchten (also known in some regions as Krampus or Tuifl) costumes and parade through the streets to perform a 1,500 year-old pagan ritual to disperse the ghosts of winter. (DOMINIC EBENBICHLER/Reuters/Corbis)

People would masquerade as these devilish figures and march in processions known as Perchtenlaufs. The Church didn’t like these creatures and tried many times to ban these practices, but due to the sparse population and the rugged environments within the region, the ban was useless.

In Catholicism, St. Nicholas is the patron saint of children. His saint day falls in early December, which helped strengthen his association with the Yuletide season. A seasonal play that spread throughout the Alpine regions was known as the Nikolausspiel, "Nicholas play". In these plays St. Nick would make questions about morality and reward children for their scholarly efforts. Eventually the Perchtenlauf, in an attempt to pacify the Church, introduced Saint Nicholas and his set of good morals. Krampus, the in-chains helper of Saint Nicholas, was then born.

In 1975, anthropologist John J. Honigmann wrote that:

"The Saint Nicholas festival we are describing incorporates cultural elements widely distributed in Europe, in some cases going back to pre-Christian times. Nicholas himself became popular in Germany around the eleventh century. The feast dedicated to this patron of children is only one winter occasion in which children are the objects of special attention, others being Martinmas, the Feast of the Holy Innocents, and New Year's Day. Masked devils acting boisterously and making nuisances of themselves are known in Germany since at least the sixteenth century while animal masked devils combining dreadful-comic (schauriglustig) antics appeared in Medieval church plays. A large literature, much of it by European folklorists, bears on these subjects. ... Austrians in the community we studied are quite aware of "heathen" elements being blended with Christian elements in the Saint Nicholas customs and in other traditional winter ceremonies. They believe Krampus derives from a pagan supernatural who was assimilated to the Christian devil"

Is worth noting that this is exactly what happened to the Yule Goat. He was a pagan symbol, people dressed like him to keep winter spirits at bay, but the Christians demonized him. There are illustrations of Saint Nicholas or of Father Christmas riding the Yule Goat during Christmas and these were meant to represent the power of God over the power of the Devil. Krampus is represented in chains by the same reason. However, the Yule Goat came to become a gift-giver and a more positive force in holiday lore, with people dressing as goats to deliver gifts to their families in the 19th century. Krampus didn’t have the same luck. I really wonder if the Yule Goat and Krampus came from variants from the same or similar cultural traditions, but that took drastically different routes.

I must say that, although I'm more in the team Santa, I learned to love Krampus over the years. It’s undeniable the amount of fun he brought to those who wanted something a little more darker and creepier in the holidays, and as someone who identifies itself as 90% lover of cheesy, cutesy and sappy stuff and 10% lover of everything earie and macabre, the idea of a monstrous boogeyman in the shadows of good old Santa Claus is fun. I personally think there’s enough space for both, the terrifyingly scary and the joyful jolliness.

Fun fact: Krampus, the one people rescued from German obscurity to combat the overly commercialized Christmas, is now being criticized as being too commercialized. C'est la vie

Story time: In my country I once heard the tale of a guy that went as Santa to deliver Christmas presents to children in a poor community. He brought many gifts and toys with him. The children loved them, until there were no more gifts to be delivered. The remaining children and their parents became so angry that they chased away the guy, throwing rocks at him. The guy came to them with free stuff, helped as much as he could, and people still threw rocks at him and chased him away, almost seriously hurting him.

I admit, there are cases where Krampus is truly needed 🤣🤣🤣

Art by Helen Mask

#The Creatures of Yuletide #christmas #holiday season #gruss vom krampus #krampus #Greetings from Krampus #Gruß vom Krampus

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bnhayyy · 3 years

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The Call (6)

Chapter Title: Heartache

Wordcount: 2.8k

Fic Tag: Click

Ao3 Link: Click

Chapter Summary: Mikasa tells Annie about her past.

Notes: Alright! So this chapter is a little on the short side. The next two chapters will be as well, having originally been one super long chapter that I cut into three for the sake of themes and pacing. But on the bright side, yesterday I posted a Yumihisu one-shot that takes place between the second and third scene of chapter three, so be sure to check that out if you haven't seen it already. Once again, thank you to Celadon for betaing this chapter! And if you’re enjoying this fic, please consider joining my writing discord or buying me a ko-fi! You know, ko-fi. The thing that exists so monetized tumblr doesn't have to.

The week following the visit to the club passed by in a blur. Annie watched as Mikasa doubled down on trying to hunt Ymir, only for none of her efforts to bear fruit. For good reason. The whole time Mikasa hunted, Annie carefully walked the line of looking helpful while contributing nothing.

Her faked efforts and need to preserve the scapegoat for as long as possible canceled out Mikasa's genuine zeal.

Or maybe Ymir was just better at this than they were. The results were the same either way. It looked like they weren't going to see Ymir again until she was ready to be seen.

Krista had proven herself to be both a help and a hindrance.

Annie hadn't seen the girl since that night at the club. Art was the only class she shared with her, but a little snooping had revealed that she hadn't been to any of her other classes either. Apparently, she had been calling in sick. Although they had been able to find the apartment building she lived in, they hadn't been able to get her exact address, and Mikasa wasn't quite ready to break into every single apartment in her quest to find Ymir.

Or confirm that Krista was still alive.

Annie noticed that Mikasa's anxiety had subtly grown with every day that they didn't see Krista… just not enough to make her break the law. For her part, Annie didn't press the matter. Seeming too willing to break into someone's apartment could set off all kinds of alarms. Besides, it was good that Krista was making herself scarce. If she had decided to stick around and give Mikasa ideas about Ymir's innocence, Annie really might have had to act.

That didn't mean that she was in the clear. Even if she was staying away for the time being, the fact remained that Krista Lenz was an unknown factor in a carefully calculated equation. Ymir too, for all that her little group had been using her presence to their favor so far. They had the potential to throw everything off balance if they decided to get involved. For that reason, they had decided to crack down on as much as they could.

Getting phone taps set up was a risky, tedious, and nerve-wracking process. However, by the end of the week, the phone in Smith's office, Smith's landline, Smith's cellphone, Mikasa's phone, and even Jean, Connie, Sasha, and Armin's phones were all bugged. Annie still had to find an opportunity to get Smith's friend's phones, but she planned on taking care of it soon.

Annie didn't know what to make of those two. An overly energetic watcher and a grouchy little demon hunter, the meeting Smith called to introduce them to everyone had been dominated by the former rambling while the latter glared at anyone who dared to look at him for more than three seconds. She didn't understand how Smith would mesh with personalities like theirs. Yet watching them for a little while had made it clear that the three of them were close. Genuinely close, not like the act that she, Reiner, and Bertolt put on.

Or the lie that she was building with Mikasa.

***

Annie: Patrolling tonight?

Mikasa: Of course

Mikasa: I'll be at your place at 7

***

It was 7:15 when Mikasa arrived. Annie may not claim to know her well, but she had gotten to know the last slayer well enough over the past few weeks to know that being late was unusual for her. She raised an eyebrow when she opened the door for her, allowing it to ask her unspoken question.

"Armin was over," Mikasa said as she stepped inside.

"I see," Annie said, closing the door. "You seem... close."

No. That wasn't right. One of the first things she had learned about Mikasa was that she wasn't truly close to anyone, Armin included. Annie leaned against the door as she reconsidered her phrasing. "You seem like you could be close," she settled on.

Mikasa stiffened. She turned to face Annie, but instead of making eye contact with her, she looked down at the bag that held her slaying supplies. "Yeah," she said, voice soft, but too vague to make out any specific emotion. She clutched her bag to her chest, probably unthinkingly. If she knew that she was holding onto it like a comfort and a shield, god knew that she probably wouldn't let herself. "If things were different, we probably could be."

Annie frowned. So that was the problem, the mindset that she and Reiner had been working so hard to cure her of. (Just in time to snatch her life away from her.) "You keep him at a distance because you're the slayer," she surmised.

"No," Mikasa said, causing Annie to blink in surprise. "It's because of..."

Mikasa hesitated. At least, that was what Annie thought was happening at first. As the seconds dragged on, she saw that whatever she was thinking about seemed to be actively causing her pain.

Annie frowned and stepped away from the door. She wanted to know about Mikasa, but not if it forced the other girl to dredge up painful thoughts. Annie was already going to be enough of a shadow on her existence. If it eased her suffering a little, she was okay with the other slayer dying a mystery. "Hey," she said, "you don't have to-"

"No," Mikasa cut her off. "You deserve to know this." A shadow of resolve fell over her expression as she spoke. She clearly wasn't happy about whatever she was going to say, but that wasn't going to stop her from saying it.

Annie felt something warm flicker in her chest. Maybe it was respect. Maybe it was admiration. Whatever it was, it was helpless to change the course of events. She still acknowledged it, because there was something to be said for someone who was willing to face things that they knew would hurt them.

This feeling was probably the closest that Annie would ever come to self-sacrifice, the selfish, cowardly person that she was. But she could still allow herself to look at that light.

For as long as it was allowed to burn.

"Do you want to talk in my room?" Annie asked. If Mikasa really was about to spill her guts, then a degree of privacy was the least she could offer her. It was the only thing she could offer her.

Mikasa swallowed heavily and nodded. "Yes please."

Annie nodded and turned to lead her down the hall. The room at the very end was hers. It was small - all of their rooms were. Their organization had paid for them to rent a small house so that they didn't have to take the additional risk that would have been killing someone and occupying theirs, but they hadn't been willing to spring for anything extravagant. At least it wasn't hard to make people believe that a trio of college students could afford to rent it.

If Mikasa had any thoughts on how sparsely decorated the room was, she didn't voice them. Annie lead her over to the bed, where she sat down on one end while Annie took the other. There they sat, Annie trying not to stare too intensely at the other slayer as she waited for her to start. For her part, Mikasa was clearly trying to gather herself. She stared distantly up at the ceiling as she ran through whatever thoughts might be racing through her mind.

Finally, Mikasa shifted her gaze to Annie. "I met Armin through his best friend," she said. "A boy named Eren Yaeger."

Annie frowned. Barely anything had been said, yet she already got the sense that it was more complicated than that. The look on Mikasa's face made it impossible for her not to.

"There was a home invasion when I was fourteen," Mikasa continued. Her voice was gaining a distant quality, like she was trying not to get caught up in the memory. Based on what she was saying, Annie was all but certain that really was the case. "My parents were killed and I was abducted. Eren ran into us when they were forcing me into the car."

Mikasa paused. Her attempt to distance herself from her emotions must not have been working, because something in her gaze fractured.

Suddenly, Annie had a horrible feeling about how this story ended for Eren.

"Eren saved me," Mikasa managed. "He killed two of my abductors, and when the third arrived, he gave me the strength to kill him myself."

Mikasa had killed someone? A human being? Annie tried to keep her surprise from showing too readily. She must have failed, because Mikasa paused, fresh hesitation written across her features.

Annie gave a tiny nod. "It was understandable, given the circumstances."

"That's…" Mikasa faltered. "Eren said that they didn't count as human beings."

"I suppose he might be right." Of course, by that logic, she probably didn't either.

Mikasa nodded. Whether she was agreeing with Annie or simply recalibrating herself, she did not know. The slayer pulled herself together and continued before she had a chance to make a definitive guess either way.

"After that, it looked like things might be... Eren wrapped his scarf around me and said I could come home with him." Mikasa's expression was blank in a way that could only be forced. However, something in her eyes said that she was struggling to breathe. "That was when the vampire showed up. I didn't know that I was the slayer yet or understand what that meant. But I think he knew, somehow, and wanted to kill me before I could become a problem. It was me he was after. But he was harder to fight than a human, and I was scared, and Eren... he wouldn't let him take me without a fight."

For half a second, Mikasa zoned off, her gaze focusing on some point over Annie's shoulder. She snapped back to herself before Annie could figure out if she should say something. It made her wonder if she didn't want any interruptions.

No. It was more likely that she just wanted to be done with this story as soon as possible.

Annie understood the feeling.

"The vampire knocked both of us unconscious," Mikasa continued. "He must have taken the car keys off one of the dead men's corpses, because when we woke up, we were in the trunk. We tried to get out, but it was no use.

"He took us out by a cliff looking over the sea. He went for me first. Eren didn't like that. I tried to fight the vampire off and told Eren to run, but I couldn't... It wasn't..."

Mikasa started blinking as she fell silent. Annie would have been horrified to see the normally stoic slayer struggling to hold back tears if she weren't surprised that she hadn't started crying sooner.

"You were fourteen," Annie whispered. "You didn't have any training or know what you were dealing with."

Even fourteen-year-olds with years of training and who knew what they were dealing with would have a hard time against a vampire. How much had she struggled against Bertolt and Reiner when she was that age? She had been one of the best human cadets in the organization and Bertolt was far too prone to trying to go easy on her, but it was still hard. It might have been easier if she had already been called back then, but even that wouldn't have been enough to make up for the fear and ignorance if she hadn't been aware of the supernatural.

It seemed that Mikasa didn't see it that way. She shook her head and murmured, "I still had the strength of the slayer."

"Raw strength isn't everything," Annie insisted.

"Maybe not," Mikasa said. "But it should have been enough.

Her gaze drifted back to that spot over Annie's shoulder for a moment. Annie couldn't begin to try to gauge the look in her eyes, especially since it was only visible for a short moment. Her eyes switched to something far more shuttered and closed off in an instant.

"I was thrown over the cliff and into the ocean," Mikasa continued. "I thought I was going to die. And for a moment, I did."

The slayer's eyes closed as she remembered the moment, and Annie was foolishly tempted to do the same, just to acknowledge the event that allowed her to come into being.

Even if Annie herself had only become a slayer two years after Mikasa's death. She wondered, did Mikasa realize that some poor, unknown, short-lived slayer had come between them? She must have. Annie had already said that she was called in 2016 back at the meeting. The lost slayer was probably going to be one of those things that no one talked about, for those who realized that she'd even existed.

Just like Eren Yaeger.

Mikasa opened her eyes. "The cliff was by a park," she said. "Someone must have heard the commotion, because emergency services arrived and resuscitated me. But it was too late for Eren.

"Armin and I met at his funeral."

Annie felt her mouth go dry. What could she possibly say to that?

Perhaps it was a good thing that Mikasa wasn't done talking yet.

"There were holes in my story. Most of the adults brushed it off as trauma, but not him. He asked what really happened, and I was still weak and scared. I told him everything, and he... he offered to help me. I said no, but I did reach out to tell him when I killed my first vampire, because it was... it was the one that killed Eren.

"I thought that would be it for us, but he kept reaching out. Kept trying... to be my friend." Mikasa paused, the fragile expression of someone caught between hope and longing fluttering across her face before she remembered to shut it down. "And I want to. He's... Armin is good. But that's exactly why I can't let him get close. Erwin may have had a point about him knowing how to defend himself from the Supernatural, but I want him to stay as far away from this as possible. And..."

You can't see him without thinking about Eren, Annie thought.

She understood. That was exactly how she had felt about Porco in the months after Marcel died. That was how she felt when she looked at the vampires she'd been abandoned with for a while after Porco and Pieck disappeared. Armin may have been a good person, but he had also been Eren's best friend, whereas it sounded like Mikasa hadn't even known him for a day. If being around Armin was painful for Mikasa, then she could only imagine how it felt for him.

How difficult must it be to build a genuine friendship around a barrier like that?

Impossible, if you weren't even willing to try.

"...It's complicated," Mikasa finished.

"Sounds like it," Annie murmured. "But... it also sounds lonely."

This, she also understood. That understanding did not make her any less of a vile thing. It did not stop her from taking advantage of a moment of vulnerability and loneliness to draw the other slayer closer to her. Closer to her eventual doom.

"It is," Mikasa admitted. Her words were slow and measured, holding all the weight of an unbelievable, life-changing confession. "But it's... less with you around, I think."

Annie's heart did a funny thing as it tried to stop and speed up at the same time. "Is it?" she asked. The dryness in her mouth was back. She wanted to move closer to Mikasa, even though there were a million reasons why she shouldn't.

"Yeah," Mikasa said. "It's... it's nice having someone around who understands what it's like to be the slayer." Her lips twitched into a small, bittersweet, but genuine smile. Annie's eyes lingered on them. "I'm glad that I met you, Annie."

Annie swallowed heavily. "Me too," she lied. In that moment, she wished that she had never met Mikasa Ackerman. She wished that she'd never even heard of her, that she and her companions had continued with their lives utterly unaware of her existence.

She wished that she didn't have to kill her.

She wished that she didn't want to kiss her so much.

Annie shifted back, only then realizing just how close she had gotten to the other slayer, and stood up. "It's getting late," she said. "We should get patrolling, if you're still interested."

Mikasa nodded, snapping out of whatever trance had fallen between the two of them. "I am," she said.

And that was that.

Or so Annie told herself. Because although she wanted to believe that it was a fluke, that she had caught herself and would be able to continue walking her predetermined path, unwavering and unstoppable...

...In her heart of hearts, she could not deny the tension, that there was tension between them for the rest of the night.

She couldn't quite convince herself that it was gone come morning.

#mikannie #mikasa ackerman #annie leonhart #snk #attack on titan #my fic #my writing #the call

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quinntheebrain · 4 years

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Two Wrongs pt. 2

Hi! After 10 long years I finally finished the second part. I was little scared to post because I don’t know how much you all will like it (regardless of how much I do). But I hope you enjoy. *goes into hiding*

Warnings: 18+, porn with a plot?????????

Word count: 9,458 (a little longer than I expected)

It would’ve been wise to listen to your conscience, but you ignored it for the sake of preserving your fantasy. Instead of making the smart decision to leave the Aizawa’s residence without looking back, you spent the weekend playing house with Shouta and his children. For a few moments, they all felt like they belonged to you: the man, the kids, the house. Unfortunately, that moment passed. In an instant, everything in your grasp was ripped away, leaving you with nothing more than obsessive, unrequited, thoughts.

When Mrs. Aizawa waltzed through the door with a smile on her face, still on a high from the weekend she had, the reality of your situation came crashing down on you. You allowed yourself to play into pleasure and sleep with a married man. A man whose wife had been kind enough to employ you and pay you more than required for your services. A part of you felt filthy for betraying her trust the way you did but the other side of you couldn’t let go of your infatuation with this man. Despite everything, you still wanted him but you knew her unexpected return only meant the worst.

Satoshi and Eri ran to their mother, trapping her in a hug that said how much they missed her presence. They spent the whole weekend awaiting her return. No matter what you tried, they just couldn’t get their mother off their mind.

You were just a placeholder to them, someone to just barely keep them occupied until she returned. You could never hold a candle to her. You would never replace her.

Shouta, on the other hand, remained in his seat, continuing to eat his meal. Truly a master of the art of stoicism, he didn’t seem the slightest bit affected by her presence. His eyes met yours for a brief moment and even then you couldn’t tell what was running through his mind. You wondered if he shared the same sentiments as his children. Were you just a placeholder in his eyes as well or did he mean the things he said to you?

“Dinner smells great.” She flashed a bright smile as she skipped past you hand in hand with her children who were practically dragging her to the dining room table. “I’m starving.”

So were you. That’s why you prepared a meal suitable for four people. A meal you planned to eat with Shouta and his children. You wanted to feel like a family. Even if the children were completely oblivious to the implications of this dinner, you’d know it was much more than a housekeeper sharing a meal with her employers. That dinner would’ve been the start of your own familial bond.

But, she came back.

Of course.

Of fucking course she came back.

Now, you could only watch from the kitchen as she enjoyed a meal meant for you. With the man meant for you. In the house meant for you. With the family you wished was yours.

Tears fell from your eyes, creating ripples in the sudsy dish water as you looked at how they interacted with each other. She was their mother. Even though you did it all: the cooking and cleaning, helping them with homework and preparing them for bed, making lunches and picking them up from school. She was the one who made their faces light up. She was the one who made them happy.

How could you be so foolish to think one weekend would automatically change the way they viewed you? Better yet, change anything at all? You took your anger out on the dishes, scrubbing the pans so hard that water splashed back at you.

“Shit.” You whispered as a pot slipped from your hand and hit the ground. The sound of metal crashing to the floor caught the attention of everyone in the dining room causing them to become silent. They tried peeking into the kitchen to see what happened, but to their surprise, you weren’t there. Your feet carried you up the stairs and away from the kitchen that made you feel like nothing more than a maid. The sound of your quick paced steps made Aizawa excuse himself from dinner to run after you.

Closing the guest room door behind you, you prayed for a few moments to collect your thoughts. Seeing them together would have never bothered you before this past weekend, but once you let him inside of you things changed. You had gotten a taste of what it’s like to be his and you didn’t want to go on without it. You wanted to always enjoy the feeling of being seen, being admired by Shouta. When you closed your eyes and thought about the moment you two shared, you could practically feel his hands roaming your body. You could feel his breath on your neck, his sweat dripping onto your skin. How would you go on without that feeling? The short answer was, you’d have to.

You said you’d be there for Shouta but that didn’t mean you’d wait around while he attempted to fix things with his wife. Twice now, the thought of quitting this job crossed your mind but your attraction to Shouta made you stay. Not the money, or the hours which were the things that originally made you take the job. It was him. You suffered day in and day out for the sake of seeing that face and hearing his voice for a few brief moments. There was no way you could walk in this house everyday without feeling resentment toward his wife. She had the luxury of being with the man you dreamed of yet she still chose to cheat and you hated her for that. So, as long as she was here, you couldn’t be.

Soft knocks at the door forced you to stand your feet, gathering the few items you left sitting in the guest room over the weekend. Shouta softly pushed the door open to find you with your bags thrown over your shoulder.

“Listen, I need you to believe me when I say I didn’t think she’d come home. I mean that night I sent her screenshots of the transactions, I sent her proof, I told her I knew she was cheating and I wanted nothing more to do with her.” His words came out fast once he realized you were ready to leave. At the very least, he wanted you to hear him out.

“Did you really think it would be that simple? That a few text messages would be enough?” You laughed harshly. “Her children are here, her life is here. Of course she’d come home.” You were speaking to both yourself and Shouta. He told you she wouldn’t return because he believed it to be true and you chose to believe Shouta simply because it allowed you to remain in his arms for a few nights longer. “God, what was I thinking? I’m so stupid.”

“No. You’re not stupid.” Shouta stepped closer to you, wrapping his hands around your own. “You didn’t do anything wrong. We’re adults and I really enjoyed what we did.”

“Didn’t do anything wrong?” You scoffed. “I slept with a married man. Regardless of your situation, regardless of her cheating, I made a conscious decision to sleep with you knowing-.”

“You did what?” You lost all feelings in your legs as you locked eyes with Mrs. Aizawa, who ran after you and Shouta solely to make sure you were okay. “Shouta you slept with this woman? In our house? How could you?” Her lips quivered. The grave expression on her face instantly made you feel terrible.

“Please, don’t play innocent. You started this.” He released his grip on your hands to turn and face his wife. “You’ve been fucking whoever for months now. Did you think I was an idiot? That I wouldn’t notice the late nights and the lingering smell of cologne? You’d run to the bathroom, wash his scent off of you then lay next to me like nothing happened for months.”

“I didn’t think you cared. You were so distracted by her, shit!” Mrs. Aizawa pointed at you, fingers shaking from anger. “I noticed how you looked at her during the interview, but I let go because I knew she was perfect for the job. Then I saw how you interacted when you had conversations, how you looked at her, how your eyes lit up when she walked into the room and how you’d sulk when she left for the night. But, Eri was feeling so much better so once again, I let it go.” Slapping her hand against her face, she let out a heavy sigh. “But I could only take so much of that, Shouta. Months of feeling unwanted and unattractive. Even when you made love to me I knew you were thinking about her. So I found someone who was attracted to me and only me.” Mrs. Aizawa laughed while shaking her head. “If you would’ve confronted me, showed me some fucking passion or something I would’ve stopped that moment, but you didn’t say a word. I made it obvious on purpose. I wanted to know you still cared.” She cried.

“You sound crazy. I mean honestly, do you hear yourself? Do I think she’s attractive? Of course, but that’s all it was. You let your insecurities get the best of you. Instead of talking to me about it, you decided to cheat.” Shouta talked through his teeth. He didn’t want to yell and alarm the children.

“You cheated, too!” Mrs. Aizawa semi screamed, her voice cracking with every word. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, Shouta.” She paused, shutting the door all the way. Stepping past Shouta, Mrs. Aizawa stood in front of you. “And you, after all we’ve done for you I figured you’d show a little gratitude, but you behaved like a low class slut. I will be sure to tell my friends. You will never work again.”

You couldn’t speak if you wanted to; your throat dry and mind racing as a reaction to confrontation. All you wanted to do was cry but you wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing you like that. Cowardice, you had the balls to sleep with her husband but not enough to address her like a woman.

“Leave her out of this.” Shouta spoke up for you. Grabbing his wife’s arm, he turned her around to face him. “I know what I did but we could’ve avoided all this if you had spoken up.” His voice was stern. “We could’ve easily replaced her, but splitting up our family.” He paused, exhaling to calm himself down. “Splitting up our family is hard. That’s why I didn’t say anything. Not because I didn’t care but because I was scared of losing you, losing the kids. I’m still scared of losing you.” Shouta admitted. This family is something they built together. 7 years of marriage down the drain over miscommunication is something he couldn’t fathom.

It was crazy to see how fast Shouta flipped his narrative, but what hurt more than anything was watching him wrap his hands around her own like he had done to you less than two minutes ago. The only difference was the expression in his eyes; he looked at her like he loved her, something you wish you could experience.

“I should go. It’s obvious you two have some things to talk about.” You whispered softly, completely broken from the words Shouta said. You were expendable. He’d replace you then all of their problems would be solved. “I’m truly sorry for all of the trouble I’ve caused.”

You wanted him to follow you, but once you reached the bottom of the stairs you realized that wouldn’t happen. Stepping into the kitchen you waved at the kids, telling them you’d see them tomorrow even though it was a lie. Closing the front door behind you, you let out a heavy sigh. Exiting the Aizawa’s residence was a bittersweet moment. You’d never see him again but knowing your absence would heal their family put you at ease. Your very presence was the reason their marriage was hanging by a thread, so the least you could do was set aside your own selfish desires and leave them be.

Your commute home was different tonight. Normally you’d spend your train ride thinking about ways to impress Shouta but after tonight you could only think about the damage you’d unintentionally caused both them and yourself. You let lust cloud your better judgement and now you were the only person truly suffering from the decision you made. In the end, Aizawa and his wife had each other, but you were left with nothing.

After getting off the train, you took a long walk home on purpose. You were in no rush to be in your apartment, confined to solitude and left with your thoughts. You went everywhere you could think of. Your favorite convenient store, the park you loved, you even stopped by a bar for a few minutes, but you could only avoid your home for so long.

Opening the door to your apartment, you threw your things on the floor and screamed as loud as you could. Being home dragged you back to reality. This was the first time that you actually thought about yourself and the consequences of your actions. You needed that job to pay for school and your apartment. You needed that job for the experience. You threw all of that away for one night pleasure. This whole time you’d been so consumed with Aizawa and trying to be a part of his life that you put yourself on the back burner.

You walked past the living room, kicking your shoes off along the way. Pushing your bedroom door open, you were met with a mess you left behind, your clothes scattered all over the room. You laughed, thinking about how you spent Friday morning picking out an outfit to impress Shouta. How naive of you to think you to think these trivial things would make him leave his wife. Your laughing turned hysterical as you haphazardly shoved your clothes into your closet. Cleaning your room was just the tip of the iceberg. You’d be cleaning up the mess in your life for a while, but for now you just wanted to rest. Falling onto your bed, you cried.

You had everything you wanted right in the palm of your hands, but you were forced to let it go.

—————————-

5 years later.

You had everything you wanted. Despite some rough patches, you were able to obtain a Master’s degree and finally start your career. You started off in foster homes, working as a behavioral therapist. Then you started your own practice, making a home for children with quirks deemed unfit for society. A place where children who were cast out and abandoned by their families could learn and be loved.

Grocery shopping was one of your favorite things to do. On Saturday, you spent your mornings roaming the aisles of numerous grocery stores, searching for food that would satisfy your children’s diverse palettes. It was one of the few times a week you got to spend to yourself. You were the manager, you employed your own staff and you were the primary provider for these children. Your days were always busy and your nights were often spent consoling terrified children, so the time you spent by yourself was important for your mental health. It allowed you to unpack any problems you had without being bothered by children or your staff.

The dreaded snack aisle, the place you spent most of your time. It was important for you to find good, healthy snacks for the kids to enjoy. You stepped on the shelf to grab some applesauce, but your foot slipped and you fell. You were prepared to hit the ground, but you didn’t. The hand pressed against your back kept you stable as you slowly stepped down onto the tile floor.

“Thank you.” You turned around with a smile that immediately faded when you saw who saved you. The joke you were prepared to make was wiped from your mind and you were only left with thoughts from your past.

Shouta Aizawa, the man you spent a year forgetting about as you struggled through your final year of graduate school. The man whose touch was so intoxicating that no one else ever came close to giving you the feeling he did. The man who cheated on his wife with you. The reason you swore to never be someone’s side piece or second option again. Honestly, he was the reason you swore off men until you were stable and well rounded. A few years ago if you had run into him, you would’ve fled the store without looking back but now you felt secure and confident about your place in society.

That didn’t necessarily mean you were excited to see him. It was cringe worthy to think about your former self running from his house, holding back tears. That moment was the closest thing to a heart break you’d ever experienced. It took months of therapy and focus to realize that their relationship problems weren’t your fault, even though you did play a part in what you assumed was their demise.

“No problem. I would hate to see you slam into the ground.” You pressed your lips together, appearing unamused by his comment. When you didn’t reply, he knew he had spark up another conversation to keep you in his presence for a little while longer. “That’s a lot of groceries.” He peaked around you, looking into your cart filled to the top.

“Oh, they’re for my kids.” You waved it off with a smile. They were one of the few things that genuinely made you happy.

“Kids?” He choked. Peering down, he looked for a ring on your finger, but your hands were hidden behind your back.

“Well not my kids.” You laughed. “I run a facility meant to help kids who were cast out because of their quirks. I’ve taken care of a few of them since birth so they feel like my own.” Your eyes lit up when you talked about them. You loved those children with your whole heart. “But speaking of kids, how are Eri and Satoshi?”

“They’re fine.” He nodded his head. “They’re both doing really well in school. Eri is actually thinking of applying for Yuuei and Satoshi is taking up soccer. It took a while to find Eri a new therapist. She just wouldn’t open up to anybody like she did with you.”

“That’s good to hear and Mrs. Aizawa?” You whispered, almost afraid to receive an answer. There was a part of you that still cared, a part of you that still wished he would have ran after you 5 years ago.

“Who knows.” He lifted his left hand, showing off his bare ring finger. That almost meant nothing to you. The last time you saw him without a ring on his finger, he was apologizing to his wife a few days later. “We split shortly after she found out about us. You were the least of our problems, though.”

“I know.” You said confidently. It was nice to hear him say that, though; the reassurance made you feel whole. “I’m glad you got to keep the kids. I can tell how much you care about them.”

“I can see how much you care about yours.” He motioned to your cart again. “Let me get this for you.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“Well you didn’t, I offered.” He smiled, pushing your cart along before you had a chance to disagree.

You followed behind him in shock that he’d do something so nice for you and the kids. Despite his tough exterior, you knew Aizawa was a softie; you thought back to how he used to talk about his students.

The two of you stood in line, catching up on each other’s lives. You found out that they actually tried couple’s therapy to get over their rough patch but that didn’t help. The two of them were so busy that they could never commit to a time; it was then they realized how little they cared. You make time for the things you want and neither of them were willing to compromise.

You told him about how it was working in social services. The work was brutal. It took a toll on your mental health seeing children neglected and abused on a daily basis. You were doing what you could to reform the system that villainized kids for something they couldn’t control.

After paying for your groceries, Shouta escorted you to your car and helped you put your things inside.

“It was so kind of you to buy those groceries.” Your mouth curved into a smile. Honestly, this profession didn’t make a lot of money. You relied heavily on government grants to care for these kids. “I could never repay you.”

“Let me take you out to dinner?” He said with a cocky grin plastered on his face. Shouta had to see you again and he hoped you felt the same.

It felt insane to get involved with him after all of these years, but it didn’t feel like a coincidence that he was the one to catch you in the store. You couldn’t deny the emotions that came rushing back when you laid eyes on him. Regardless of the way things ended, your employment and your “relationship”, Shouta crossed your mind every now and then. What was the harm in one date?

“Sure.” You drew your lower lip in between your teeth as he handed you his phone to put in your contact information.

“I’ll text you later on this week with reservation details.” He pulled you into a hug. “It was so good to see you.” He opened your car door for you, leaning down to get one last look into your eyes.

“Yeah.” You shook your head. “You too.” He closed your door, leaving you in the car alone.

A small smile formed on your face. After all these years, Shouta Aizawa still had the same effect on you.

———————————

Why did I agree to this? You flattened your skirt as you stepped out of the taxi.

You were nervous. When Shouta asked you to accompany him to dinner you thought it was a joke then he sent you reservation details and you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. You used to dream of being on his arm, partaking in the “glamorous” life of a hero. This would be your chance to see how well you fit into his world.

From the outside you could tell this restaurant was far nicer than anywhere you’d been in a long time. The night of your graduation your parents took you somewhere fancy, but even that didn’t compare.

Opening the door you were instantly met by a hostess. “Name?” She smiled before looking down at the clipboard clutched in her right hand.

Clearing your throat, you spoke. “It should be under Aizawa.” You pulled your phone from your purse, prepared to shoot him a text just in case there was a mix up.

“Would you like to check your coat?” You nodded while removing your trench coat and handing it to the young man stationed on your left. “Right this way.” She placed the clipboard at her side before showing you to your table.

The outside honestly didn’t do the restaurant justice. Reaching the top of the grand staircase, your eyes twinkled, completely in awe of the decor. Dimly lit chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. Large glass windows, draped in navy blue curtains, giving you the perfect view of the city. Flowers and candles adorning every table. And in the corner, was your date for the evening, Shouta Aizawa.

He spotted you the minute you walked upstairs, completely enthralled by your appearance. Elbows rested on the table with his chin placed on his hands, he watched you carefully with a narrow gaze as you admired your surroundings before catching up to the hostess. As you drew closer, he stood to his feet to greet you. Sending the hostess off, he wrapped you in a hug.

“This is nice.” You slid into the booth before immediately opening the menu to look at the drink options. You needed liquid courage to make it through the night.

“Call it a late graduation present.” He smirked at you, removing his phone from the table so you had his undivided attention. “You look amazing.” He sipped his drink slowly, his eyes never leaving yours.

There was no way you could lie and say you weren’t the least bit excited about the date. You spent the whole afternoon doing your hair and making sure your makeup was perfect. The dark smokey eye and burgundy lip went well with your outfit. A black two piece matching set: a wrapped crop top and a ruched maxi skirt with a slit in it. You matched your jewelry and shoes perfectly with the jacket that you had on earlier.

“Thank you.” You grinned, happy that he noticed your effort. “So do you.” You didn’t say that because he complimented you, you meant it. His usually unruly hair was pulled back into a low bun, streaks of grey hidden under his black strands. The suit he was wearing fit his body just right, accentuating the muscles his hero costume hid. His neck was normally hidden under his scarf so just seeing it made you feel naughty. But most of all, he looked well rested and the look in his eyes told you he was more than prepared for a long night.

The two of you started by ordering drinks and appetizers. You assumed that tonight would be boring, full of awkward conversations and quiet moments. But by the time the second round of drinks came out and the waitress brought your appetizers, the two of you couldn’t stop laughing.

You never realized how much you missed your quick conversations and now that you had more time to elaborate without prying eyes, those quick conversations went on for hours. Shouta always knew you were smart, but the things you talked about tonight showed him just how much you’d grown. You went on about the children you were raising, giving him the details of their quirks asking for advice on handling them. He promised he would come help out one day and that made you happy. He talked about UA, his most recent group of students sounded promising. Shouta was a good teacher, while his methods didn’t sound gentle they were effective when training future heroes. It felt nice to talk to him like this. Two people talking about their professions, sharing wisdom and giving words of encouragement.

As the night carried on, the two of you moved closer to each other, meeting in the middle of the large, circular booth. Your head rested on his right shoulder, laughing at the jokes he whispered in your ear about the couples sitting near your table. His hand rested on the skin exposed by the slit in your skirt. Even after all these years, nothing satisfied you like his touch.

The dinner was great. Your entrees weren’t small like you feared they would be. You picked off of his plate, fed him from yours. From the outside, the two of you looked like a great couple and at one point that’s all you ever wanted: to look, speak, act like you belonged next to him. Though it was rare he carried himself this way, you could tell Shouta was made of money and even though he was underground, the status that came with being a hero was always a plus. Now that you’d established yourself, it felt right pursuing something with him. You were no longer his maid, you were a strong woman with your own practice.

“You ready?” He whispered in your ear as the waitress took your plates.

You shook your head yes. “Let me go to the restroom while you pay. I’ll meet you downstairs?” You smiled while sliding out of the booth and walking to the ladies’ room.

You stood in the mirror giving yourself a quick pep talk before exiting the restroom and looking for your date for the evening.

Shouta watched in awe as you descended the staircase, walking like you owned the place. Heads turning as they passed you by, but you could only keep your eyes on him. There was something he loved about your new found confidence. Something that only made him want you more. He took your hand at the last stair to help you and also to stop the stares from greedy men.

Like the gentleman he was, Shouta opened the door for you, his hand discretely caressing your ass when you walked by. He followed you to the edge of the sidewalk, where you waited for a taxi to pull up.

“You didn’t drive?” Shouta placed your coat on your shoulders from behind. He let his arms linger around your waist and he buried his chin in the crook of your neck. You shook your head no and you felt him smile. “Because you knew you’d be leaving with me?” Shouta’s mouth hovered dangerously close to your ear, his cool breath tickling the inside.

“No, shut up.” You smacked his arm but that didn’t make him move. It actually made him hold you closer. You could feel a bulge growing in his pants. It was nice to know he was just as anxious as you. Truthfully, you knew Shouta was right about your reason for not driving, but you’d never give him the satisfaction of telling him that. “So, where are we going?”

He didn’t answer your question, instead he grabbed your hand and led you down the sidewalk adjacent to the restaurant you just dined at. The night life was so comforting. The two of you moved against the crowd like young lovers who couldn’t wait to get their hands on each other. The constant chatter drowned out the nasty things he said to you so shamelessly.

The hotel Shouta booked for the weekend was just as nice as the restaurant you went to. He was honestly trying his hardest to wine and dine you. He wanted you to feel special and you did.

The two your way past the concierge’s desk and onto the elevator. The minute the doors shut behind you, Shouta pinned you in the corner, ghosting his lips over yours. He squinted his eyes, searching yours for any hints of reservations and sense of regret. When he found nothing but adoration in those doe eyes of yours, he kissed you. Instinctively, your body moved toward his. Pushing yourself up from the steel elevator walls, you rested your arms lazily on his shoulders, your fingers caressing the nape of his neck. As the doors opened, he bit his lip while shaking his head, mumbling something along the lines of how he couldn’t wait to get his hands on you.

The room’s dark interior immediately set the mood. The matte black furniture meshed so well with the dim lights and greenery. You were in the middle of Yokohama, but you felt like you were in the jungle.

Throwing your jacket over the chair, you allowed the cool air in the room to hit your skin. Hotel air conditioning units always worked better so for the time being, you turned it off. You wanted the room to be warm and muggy. You wanted to see Shouta sweat.

“Did I tell you how good you look tonight?” Shouta’s hands landed on your hips and unlike earlier you decided to indulge him.

Rolling your eyes, you pressed against the bulge forming in his pants. “About a hundred times, but I appreciate every single one.” You dropped your head back so you could look him in the eyes. “I’m really glad you invited me out tonight.”

“I’m glad you accepted.” He placed a small kiss on the tip of your nose. “I really missed you.” He released his grip on you, going to sit on the bed.

“Really? How much?” You smiled, walking to stand in between his legs.

You felt powerful standing over him but the minute his hand touched your waist, you lost all control. His touch was like a drug for you. You’d done a great job of holding yourself together all night, but you finally allowed yourself to give in to the feeling of passion that made you high.

Shouta peeled off your outfit, his eyes taking in every inch of your bare skin. You were hardly bashful but the intense glare he was giving had heat rushing to your cheeks. He placed soft kisses on your stomach as he slid your skirt down your legs and held it still so you could step over it. You were left in nothing but your lingerie and the five inch heels you wore tonight.

The lingerie set you wore was burgundy with hints of gold and orange in the trimming. You wanted something that embodied fall, your favorite season, and this set did just that. The lacy bra did a good job of barely covering your nipples and the underwear were so thin they could be ripped off. One look at you had Shouta ready to take you, but he didn’t want to rush the night. He wanted to savor every moment with you.

Standing to his feet, Shouta pulled you into a sensual kiss. Your heart pounded in your chest and the familiar feeling of butterflies swirled in your stomach. Eyes closed, you could only focus on the way he made you feel. When you landed on the bed, you let a warm laugh escape your mouth. You were so entranced by the kiss that you hadn’t even noticed he’d turn you around, so he could sit you on the bed. You extended your legs as his fingers gilded gently from your thighs, over your knees and down your shins. Stopping at the straps of your heels, he undid them and pulled them off.

“Fuck.” He cursed under his breath. You looked breathtakingly beautiful. Shouta was upset with himself for letting you walk out his house five years ago, but everything happened for a reason. All that matters is that he had you again and he wouldn’t let you go. “Baby, you really look amazing.”

You only laughed as you began to undress him. The roles had reversed. Now, Shouta was hovering on you, exuding power and sensuality. Button by button, his bare chest and chiseled abs were exposed to you. It’s as if the curtains were being pulled back and the angels were harmonizing; his body was just that perfect. The man aged like fine wine and you knew it was the hero work that kept him fit. You threw his shirt onto the loveseat in the corner before moving on to his pants. You used one hand to quickly remove the belt and undo his zipper, eager to see his growing cock straining under the confines of his briefs.

Placing his index finger under your chin, Shouta lifted your head so you were looking up at him. Your wide eyes, beaming with vulnerability, made Shouta smile to himself before leaning down to kiss you, softly at first, and then the kiss became so sloppy, so desperate that it made you dizzy. You placed your hands on his cheeks, gripping his face firmly to keep yourself stable. The kiss never broke, even when you lifted your hips to scoot yourself further on to the bed while Shouta crawled to join you. Once settled on the plush, cotton comforter he used one hand to gently push you back on the bed, while using the other rub circles on your lace covered clit. You moaned into his mouth, allowing his tongue to slip inside. Pulling your panties to the side, he pushed two fingers along your slick folds. While his weight was unevenly distributed, you pushed him from on top of you and quickly pinned him down on the bed.

“Damn.” He mumbled, turned on by the way you tossed him.

Lowering yourself onto his clothed member, you began to slowly move your hips back and forth. You almost felt like you were too old for dry humping, but when Shouta coughed to keep himself groaning you knew you made the right choice. The friction you created had you both excited for everything tonight had in store.

Leaning down, you peppered kisses along his neckline, using your tongue to tease the soft spot right above his collar bone. The sounds that escaped his lips were euphoric, making you hum happily as you snagged his ear between your incisors. Smiling, you let your tongue roll from your mouth and licked from his ear to the base of his neck, leaving a trail of saliva along the way. His low groans had transformed into heavy breathing and curse words littered with occasional “please”. You were soaking wet, watching as he squirmed under your touch. You knew his neck was sensitive but his reaction made you think he could cum from this alone.

Shouta used one to free his cock from his boxers, stroking himself desperately as you assaulted his neck with your teeth. The feeling of him touching himself underneath you sent a shock through your body, making you moan against his neck before switching sides. You focused on the left side of his neck, alternating between open mouth kisses and sucking hard enough to leave a mark. You traced small circles over the trail of saliva you made on the right side of his neck, giving him enough stimulation to make his body stiffen briefly before relaxing with a laugh. You could feel a little of the mess he made on your ass. You took upon yourself to clean him up. Hopping off of him and moving your face toward his dick, you licked him clean before giving him a smile.

“Such a tease” He growled, earning a laugh from you.

“Look at what you do to me. Seeing you so vulnerable just-.” You sighed, unable to put the feeling into words. Grabbing his hand, you guided his fingers to your folds, now dripping wet from the sweet sounds he made in your ear.

Taking his hand back, he sucked the juices off of his finger. Licking his lips in satisfaction, Shouta smirked up at you. “Fuck, you taste the same.” Forcefully pushing you on your back, he pulled your underwear off and spread your legs. “I’ve missed this.” He smiled, rubbing his calloused hands over your moisturized thighs.

He planted kisses along your inner thigh. The stubble on his chin left behind a strange sensation that only made you want more of his touch. The sassy remark you were about to make about him teasing you was ripped from your throat along with the air you were about to inhale. His warm tongue lapping over your folds was enough to send you into shock for a few seconds. You’d forgotten how generous of a lover Shouta was, but he was quick to remind you. Painfully slow, long licks had you iching for more. Rolling your hips, you fucked yourself against his tongue, making sure he passed over your clit every now and then.

Once you got used to his pace, he switched it, moving his tongue faster, focusing more intensely on your throbbing bundle of nerves. You placed your hand on his head, gently running your fingers through his black locks. He stopped suddenly, making you whine before plunging two long fingers into your dripping core and securing his lips around your clit. He sucked on you ferociously while continuously pushing his fingers into your g-spot.

“Shouta.” You moaned, mouth wide open, a drop of drool sliding down your cheek. “Add one more, please.” You begged and when he did as you asked, you rewarded him with a soft moan.

“I love a woman who knows what she wants.” He talked into your cunt, the vibrations from his voice made you whimper. “I know you’re ready to cum for me.” He quickened the pace of his fingers, twisting them ferociously, yearning for your release.

Your stomach caved in as a pulsating sensation ran through your pussy. Shouta shook his head, using the flat of his tongue to catch the juices from your orgasm while still stimulating you.

Lifting his head, you noticed the small string of saliva hanging from his chin. As he crawled closer to you, you pulled him into a hungry kiss. Desperate to taste yourself and also feel his tongue swirl around your mouth.

“Fuck me.” Even though you were still panting from your first release, your voice was alluring to him.

His body hovered over yours with his arms on either side of you. He pushed all of his weight to the left side of his body and used his right arm to guide himself inside of you with a hiss. He alternated between quick experimental thrust and rubbing his tip along your folds while he adjusted to how wet and warm you were.

Rolling his neck, he let out a breathy laugh. “You feel so good.”

Shouta dropped onto his forearms so he could be closer to you. The sweat forming on his body felt cool against your skin. His forehead rested gently on top of yours. You inhaled the air he exhaled. In this moment, you felt like one. His thrusts were slow and methodical, allowing you to feel everything he had to offer. The love you felt pouring off of him was unlike anything you’d experienced in a long time. Even if you knew he didn’t really love you, it felt like and for the night you were fine with that.

His gaze was gentle yet carnal, full of lust and passion. You couldn’t handle it so you closed your eyes much to his disapproval. “Look at me.” He demanded, his low voice sending chills down your spine. Your eyes fluttered open to find him looking smugly at you.

Your lips found their way to his ear, releasing your low, drawn out moans that only fueled the need fuck you senseless.

Shouta’s large hands snaked around your neck as his pace sped up; his slightly curved cock slamming into you again and again. He swiftly threw one of your legs over his shoulder, allowing himself more access to the deepest parts of you. The sensation was overwhelming for the both you; you could tell by the way his eyes rolled back and how erratic his strokes became. Removing his hand from your neck, he used the pad of his thumb to put pressure on your clit.

“Shouta.” You moaned, pushing your head so far back into the mattress that your back started to arch off the bed. His name was the only thing you could think of; you repeated it like a mantra as he drilled into you.

“Don’t hold it in.” He talked through his teeth, focusing on holding himself together long enough for you to cum first. “Come on baby. Show me how good I make you feel.”

You melted into the mattress as the swirling pressure in your stomach fizzled away. Shouta let your juices flow onto his throbbing dick before pulling out and releasing his seed on your stomach. Flopping on the bed next to you, he sighed in satisfaction.

“Let me get you a rag.” He smacked your thigh.

“It’s okay.” You smiled. “I’m just gonna take a shower. Join me?” You whispered seductively.

“No.” He laughed at your pouting face as he rolled from the bed and walked to the bathroom. He was never big in sharing showers and he would use your brief absence to get some work done. “But you enjoy yourself.” You stood to follow him in the bathroom and run the water.

He wiped himself down before leaving you in the bathroom by yourself. Stepping into the black marble shower, you felt instant relief on some of your sore areas. The hot water and the steam relaxed your body in a way only a nice drink after a long day could. Sitting on the bench in the shower, you let the water run over your legs. Head pressed against the wall, you thought about the day with the goofiest smile plastered on your face. Shouta really made you feel like a child, giddy from the flashbacks of the evening.

You washed yourself off using the hotel’s soap. The strong yet relaxing scent of eucalyptus was in their products and you loved it. Rising yourself off one final time, you stepped out of the shower and dried yourself off. Wrapping the towel around you, you stepped into the bedroom.

“I actually didn’t bring any clothes.” Your voice caught his attention, pulling off his glasses he turned in the desk chair to face you. You bit the inside of your cheek, hoping he’d have something for you. “I wasn’t expecting this.” You motioned to the hotel room. Except, a part of you was expecting this, hoping he’d whisk you away for a romantic week.

He walked to the closet, pulling out a suitcase and throwing you one of his many black, long sleeved shirts. It stopped mid thigh on you so you were fine roaming the room with no underwear on. Shouta returned to his spot at the desk, watching you look at yourself in the mirror.

“Looks good on you.” He patted his lap and you ran to sit in it.

“You think so Eraserhead.” He nodded with a laugh while running circles on your bare thigh. “That means so much coming from you.” You teased. Looking at his tablet, you realized he was doing work. “Hey! No work.” You smiled, locking his device before hopping off of his lap and making yourself comfortable in between his legs on the floor.

“You won’t let me rest will you?” He laughed. “I’m not young anymore.” He bit his lip while looking at you settled on your knees, groping his cock through his sweats. The second you felt him grow, you stripped him of his pants and boxers.

“Could’ve fooled me.”

You opened your mouth and stuck your tongue out, allowing all the saliva you collected to slowly drip onto Shouta’s semi erect dick. In one swift motion, you swallowed him whole, wanting nothing more than to feel him grow in your mouth. As you felt him getting harder, you pulled off his cock, opting to run the flat of your tongue along his shaft before swirling around his tip and giving it a quick kiss.

Shouta had enough of your teasing. Placing his hand on the back of your neck, he guided you down his length, setting a pace that was pleasurable for him. Your eyes squeezed shut as you forced all of him into your mouth, bobbing your head and hollowing out your cheeks.

“You’re doing great, baby.” He pushed your hair out of your face. “Just like that.”

You hummed in satisfaction at his praise, sending vibrations down his now fully erect cock. You managed to make it to the base, opening your mouth wider, your tongue rolled out of your mouth to lick his balls. He hissed at the sensation, thrusting his hips up so you could do it again.

You ignored your gag reflex and your need for air. The only thing that mattered was pleasing him. Tears formed as Shouta picked up the pace, fucking your throat mercilessly. Heat began to pool between your legs. Sending one hand down, you toyed with your clit, making you moan around his cock.

“I see you touching yourself.” His words came out slow. “If you want to fuck again, you’re doing the work this time.” You nodded as you pulled his dick from your mouth.

Standing to your feet, you turned around giving him a view of your ass. Bending over, you reached your arm through your legs, grabbing his length and giving it a few pumps. Shouta smacked your ass while you aligned his dick with your entrance and sunk down on him.

“Shit.” You both moaned, completely in love with the feeling of him stretching you out.

You remained still before sinfully rolling your hips. Shouta’s hands shot to your waist, steadying you and halting your movements as he enjoyed the feeling of his cock inside of you.

Gripping the armrests of the chair to steady yourself, you started to bounce on his length. His grip on your waist tightened, keeping him somewhat in control of your speed. This feeling was amazing. Shouta had flashbacks of the first time you rode him and your skills had only gotten better. The way you clenched around him as you raised and fell on to his thick cock had him seeing stars.

His hands moved from your waist underneath the shirt you were wearing to grope your breast. He pinched both of your nipples, rolling them between your fingers, sending a tingling sensation down your spine. Your head fell back onto his shoulders, and your mouth dropped open. Shouta nibbled on your ear, only adding to the overwhelming stimulation you were feeling.

“Kitten.” He moaned into your back before biting down on your shoulder.

Kitten? The term of endearment he only ever called you in your dreams. Heat rushed between your legs and to compensate for the feeling you bounced even harder. Shouta noticed your increase in speed and thrust up matching your pace.

At this rate, Shouta would cum any minute.

He lifted you off of his length, allowing himself a few seconds to collect his thoughts. Standing up, Shouta bent you over the bed to take control. His thrusts were quick and powerful, pushing deeper into you with every stroke. He rubbed your pussy, spreading your slick to your ass before licking his thumb and sliding it into your puckered hole. Your hands flung out to grab the sheets, grab something to keep you sane. Muffled moans letting him know, you liked the new sensation.

“You look so pretty like this.” Shouta used his free hand to continuously slap your ass. You whimpered from the harsh contact, only making you wetter by the second.

Removing his finger from your asshole, Shouta grabbed both of yours arms behind your back, using them to pull you back on his cock and keep you from running from his strokes.

“Any louder and we’ll have complaints.” His gruff voice made you weak in the knees. “Fuck, your close. I can feel it.”

It didn’t take him long to learn your body. Shouta was an observant man; he knew how to make you feel good and he knew when you were about to cum. He was the perfect lover.

Your arms fell to your side as Shouta released his grip on them, opting to use his right to push down on the small of your back while the left made its way to your mouth. He placed his thumb in your mouth, allowing you to twirl your tongue around it before he pulled on the corner of your lips, hooking you like a fish that fell for the bait. He propped one of his legs up on the edge of the bed, fucking you from an angle that made your whole body tremble, especially your legs, virtually reduced to putty as he pounded into your sweet spot.

Shouta was close too. You could feel it. His cock throbbing inside of you, ready for his own release. He snapped his hips into you one last time, balls smacking your cunt. You sunk into the mattress, completely worn out from the night as your final orgasm rushed through you.

“Don’t.” You stopped him from pulling out of your aching cunt. You wanted to feel his warm seed inside of you.

Shouta pulled out of you slowly, leaving you feeling empty. You could feel the mix of your juices running down your leg. It was more than satisfying.

You could fall asleep right where you were: still bent over the bed, ass in the air. You had a busy day and tonight was the stress reliever you needed. The sensation of a warm washcloth against your pussy made you melt. Shouta cleaned you off, making sure he got everything that was dripping

“Do you need anything?” He pressed a lingering kiss on your cheek, making the corners of your mouth turn up.

“A water would be nice.” You said while crawling into the bed and getting comfortable under the covers.

Shouta grabbed you a water bottle from the minibar and put on his sweatpants before joining you in the bed. He wrapped his arms around, pulling you closer to his warm body.

“You remember what you said to me?” Shouta whispered in your ear. His voice husky from how tired he was. You shook your head no, taking a sip of your water. “I know now might not be the time, but when it is, I’ll be here for you.” He repeated your words verbatim. “Now is the time.”

You flipped over to face him. “Listen, I was naive then but now I don’t have time for lies. I have kids to worry about and I don’t need my ment-.”

Shouta shut you up with a kiss. A searing kiss that made you warm all over. “I’m sorry for how I treated you all those years ago. I knew how you felt about me and I took advantage of that, but I’m serious this time. I don’t believe in fate but I’m so glad I ran into you at the supermarket. I know this is sudden seeing as how we just reunited, but I’m ready whenever you are.”

“I’m ready now.” Sleepiness washed over you, it almost felt like you were dreaming when he said those words. “Let’s just start slowly, okay.”

You didn’t want to rush things and he completely understood. The two of you had just found each other and given your past, you were right to be cautious.

“Perfect.” He placed a kiss on your forehead and you smiled. Closing your eyes, you nodded off to sleep.

When you woke up in the morning, Shouta was in the process of placing the room service he ordered on the desk. You yawned with a stretch, catching his attention.

“Morning.” He smirked at you, bringing you the tray of breakfast. “Sleep well.”

“What are you doing up early?”

“It’s 11:30.” He deadpanned, pointing to the clock. “Your phone has been ringing like crazy. I tried waking you up but you wouldn’t budge.”

You raised an eyebrow, grabbing your phone and looking at your call log. You realized it was one of your employees that called you multiple times and immediately called them back. She told you one of the kids was having an episode and only wanted to see you. Jumping out of the bed you threw on your skirt from last night and tucked Shouta’s large black shirt into it.

“Everything okay?” His brows drew together as he watched you frantically gather your things.

“No, one of my babies isn’t feeling well.” You explained. “I’m so sorry but I really have to go.”

“But you didn’t drive. Let me take you. Maybe I can help.” He followed your lead, grabbing his things and putting on some clothes.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“What did I say last night?” His question was rhetorical. “You have me, now. Nothing you ask me to do would be an inconvenience. I want to help.” He said, making you pause in your tracks.

Walking up to him, you planted a gentle kiss on his lips. “You really are perfect. Now, let’s go.” Grabbing his hand you rushed out of the hotel.

It was a simple gesture but it meant so much to you. Also, it wasn’t the first thing Shouta did for you and your children. He was willing to drop his relaxing weekend to help you. He was willing to deal with you, your kids and everything else you had to offer because he knew you would do the same for him. This whole time you’d been trying to see how you fit into his work when the real question was how would he fit into yours.

The way things looked, the two of you would be just fine.

#aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa smut #bnha smut #bnha imagines #aizawa imagine

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neverendingstories00 · 4 years

Text

Past The Point Of No Return (Ch.3)

Summary: Safin takes you on a tour of your new home and offers an interesting proposition.

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: n/a

A/n: Guys, sometime needs to take my labtop away. Safin is 100% going to be the death of me. I cannot stop thinking about this pyscho man PLEASE rearrange my guts. Anyways, school is starting for me tomorrow (today since i’m posting this at like 2:30am). I’ll try and get Ch.4 out asap since that’s where the drama is gonna rise. Also, thank you for all the support and comments! I’m gonna respond to them all tomorrow, I promise. I love ya’ll and enjoy the story!! ❣️❣️

Previous Chapter | Masterlist

Three days had gone by. You refused to leave your room after Safin’s temper tantrum. Three days in isolation weren’t the worst thing in the world even if you had no idea where you were. The room Safin had given you was elegant and bigger than your old flat. It was like if Japanese Zen had met modern times. A living room with endless books and plants connected to a bedroom and large bathroom. You felt like you were in a fancy hotel. Inside of the bathroom was a freestanding club that outlook a rock garden. Of course, you had tried to break the glass or crawl out one of the closet vents, but everything had been locked shut. At one point, you had felt the room had been made just for you (which it probably had been). Safin must have had a lot of time on his hands to be able to construct it. The books that were on the shelves were the same books you owned a home, the candles were all lavender and cherry blossom, and even the small amount of clothes he had offered and gotten your sizing in were accurate to your taste. It was oddly amiable, but alarming that he knew so much about you.

As you finished making your Feng Shi bed, you heard a gentle knock at the door. With years in the military, you had recognized footstep patterns. Safin had light but quick footsteps, his boots always making a clicking noise.

“Good morning Y/n.” He says, his cold accented voice slightly muffled behind the door. “I wanted to come and apologize for my uncivilized manner a few nights ago. I didn’t realize that you would be in such a sensitive state. I believe adjusting to new surroundings can be quite difficult. The way I acted certainly didn’t help with that. I did not mean to frighten you.”

Rolling your eyes, you didn’t even want to respond. If you could survive on your own in the wilderness for a month, then you could survive in a lavish bedroom in the middle of god no’s where until-

Oh right. There weren’t coming.

“It truly bothers me that you feel the need to isolate yourself in that room.” Safin. Instead of sounding condescending, he seemed genuine and even beseeching. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink.”

“I’m fine, thank you though.” You coldy reply, seeing it as a facade. Safin was an anarchist, insane and cruel. “You’re a solid actor though, I’ll give you that.”

Safin sighs but doesn’t give in to anger or defeat. “For what I did to you, you have every right to upset at me. I’m upset at myself. I’m sorry for scaring you into isolation, my dear. It was not my intention.”

You refuse to respond, crossing your arms as you hear him let out a loud sigh. Safin looks at the nearest object to throw in frustration but stops himself for her.

“Y/n, I need you to understand that under no circumstance, that I will ever hurt you. You are a resident, not a prisoner. I want to show you my..” He freezes. It’s not a home, it’s a lair. But for y/n’s sake, it was there home. “I mean, our home. It will be short, and I will get you something to eat. After that, I will not bother you if you accompany me for just one hour.”

Two sides of you were battling with each other. The younger and more stubborn part of you wants to say a snarky remark and tell him to kindly fuck off. But the wiser and more calm side of you says that your starving and need to get out. You don’t sympathize with his actions and hate him more than anything in the world. The man threatened to hurt your friends and family if you didn’t obey his commands. But If he was going to hurt you, then why hasn’t he killed you yet? What was the point of keeping you there, knowing that you could possibly kill him with anything? Safin has stalked your whole life, from your clothing sizes to your military history.

You freeze as your fingers fiddle with each other. Letting the villain win always bothered you. But he offered you food and freedom for an hour. He had better kept to his promise. Looking at the door, you break the silence. “I’ll be ready in five minutes.”

He responds, “Take your time.”

Walking over the closet, you look at the outfits organized by monotone colors. Everything seemed the same as you searched for something that wasn’t oversized on you. Eventually, you came down to wearing a black turtleneck, light grayish blue kimono jacket, and olive peg pants with black boots. The clothes were oddly comfortable and looked more expensive than your shitty flat. You hated wearing tight and revealing clothes, so it was doable. Looking in the mirror before you leave, you see your eyes. They’re tired from crying and sleepless nights. Your body had no energy as your stomach rumbled and throat thirsted for water. The last person you wanted to see was Safin, but you truly had no choice.

Opening the door, you see him standing in front of it with a straight posture and hands behind his back. A subtle smile appeared on his face, seeing you walk out.

“You look lovely, y/n.” He compliments as you walk side by side. He thought you could pull anything off and still looking amazing. You looked at him and nod, a silent response of “thank you”.

As you walk down the hallway, Safin noticed y/n limping more than walking. He made sure Serrano and his men had there asses yelled at. They had done everything they weren’t supposed to do; treat you like an animal, hurt, and embarrass her. No wonder y/n hated him, he thought she was going to be a prisoner or some toy for Safin to fiddle around with. As much as Safin yearned for her beauty, he saw her talent and intelligence. She would be useful in many ways.

In an attempt to be a gentleman, he held his arm out for her for support. Y/n, being the woman she was, silently and polarity declined this offer. Safin found it darling that she was so stubborn, refusing the help of others even if she needed it. Seeing you limp and silently groan made Safin’s stone cold heart drop. He wouldn’t be a gentleman if he didn’t help this sweet, little y/n. In a devilish move, Safin tucked his arm under her hand, linking them both. Her clutched fist dangled in his tight hold, wanting to resist. Seeing her [y/s/c] burn up, Safin softly smiled at her. She eventually gave him as her fist unclenched, softly leaning onto him.

The hallways were long and large, lit by hidden lights. From what you could tell, it seemed like an abandoned Russian military site that had been reconstructed by Safin. It was all concrete and void of any color or life. The Architecture was Raw, brutalist, extraordinary. Taking you up a dark hallway, Safin showed you a bright hallway, full of mustard yellow art. Leading you under a dark tunnel, it revealed a large, empty room. In the middle of the room was a large low black table with cushions, and that was it. On the sides were rock gardens full of shrubs and bamboo. You could hear a running river disconnect the gardens from the concrete gray floor. A few guards stared at you for linking arms with Safin. Seeing them whisper made you look down. Safin had noticed and looked at the men, who had fear in there eyes as they stood straight.

Safin explained that his room was where he and Serrano (or other co-workers in his words) would discuss their ordeals. He saw the light in y/n’s slowly disappear, seeing her thoughts run to something else. There wasn’t really much to show considering that Safin was the only man who inhabited the submarine pen. The soldiers and Serrano resided on another part of the island. He didn’t want to bore y/n but wanted to make sure she was adjusted with her new home.

“Are you enjoying everything, my dear?” He asked, Y/n looked up and nodded in response. She looked exhausted and upset, trying to hide it. Her once glowy [y/s/c] skin was turning lifeless and grey. Safin could see that you were miserable and depressed. He knew being trapped in the submarine pen wasn’t ideal, he had been doing it for years and was ever so alone. Having the company of a woman was something he desired more than anything. Over the years his man had brought him women, but they refused to lay with because of his scars. Safin hated seeing the once joyful and bright light he saw in you.

No words came out of your mouth. You once again nod in response, forcing a faked and sad smile. Safin heart breaks seeing you so silent and upset. His grasp tightens on your arm, to squeeze some reassurance into your dying soul.

“My dear, please speak to me.” He gently cooed, looking into her [y/e/c] orbs.

“I’m fine, just please continue…” You sigh in frustration.

Not knowing what to say, Safin simply continues. It had been years since he had touched or even been close to a woman. Having you here with him was a dream come true. He hated having you sleep all by yourself that was in the opposite quarters of him. All he could imagine was y/n’s soft cries into her pillow from giving up on life. He knew what would hopefully cheer you up. Walking up a spiral staircase, Safin opened the door for you to exit. Upon exiting, you were greeted with a beautiful view. Safin allowed you to walk to the edge to admire the breathtaking view. Not one cloud was in the bright, blue sky. The top of the submarine pen was covered in the island’s rich plants. You truly were in the middle of nowhere, you could have been in the Medaterrian or off the coast of Africa. The Island was so beautiful on the outside, yet so depressing and ugly on the inside. The sun shined onto your skin as you felt the gentle breeze through your hair.

You stand on the edge, seeing that the only island in the distance was you. You were surrounded by miles of water, along with the world’s most feared Anarchist. “It’s so..”

“Breathtaking.” He breathed, standing right behind you. You turn around, somewhat scared by how close he was. Your [y/e/c] met with his milky orbs. His face was grey and dark, his sleek black hair, and dark navy clothes were so dark except for his eyes. He had an usual and exotic face. But his eyes were beautiful and mesmerizing. “Just like you, my dear.”

You huff, rolling your eyes. What had been a nice moment turned into Safin trying to subtly flirt, or so that’s what you thought. “Can you please call me y/n?”

A small frown appeared on Safin’s arms. He’s confused about why you don’t enjoy his attention. “Why not, my sweet?”

“Because I’m not your partner,” You clarify. The way those words rolled over his lips made you squirm and your cheeks burn.

“Whatever you say, my little dove.” He smiles, holding you close. A disgusted “ugh” escapes from your mouth. The time you had outside makes you feel somewhat better. Feeling the sun and wind against your skin felt so normal in your little fucked up world.

Safin tried to pull you closer to him, but you pull away. Even if he was trying to be a “gentlemen’, he was still an anarchist who wanted to kill millions and overthrow the government. All you knew was that you weren’t going to fall in love with him, ever. You shrug him off, looking away from him.

“How did you find this place?” You ask to break the silence.

“Me and Serrano discovered this place when I had left Spectre,” He explains, looking around the gardens before back at y/n. “It was an abandoned communist Submarine Pen. Nobody inhabited it, so I simply took it as my own. I was based in Okinawa before I denounced, so I took slight inspiration from the gardens.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Denounced Spectre?”

“One of my targets resurfaced, a young woman. A woman who I spared...who I loved,” Safin stated, “I had let them go and let them live a comfortable life. She promised herself to me, but loved another man...and birthed his child when she was mine. Spectre wanted her alive, I wanted her and her whole family dead. When they didn’t let me kill all of them, I killed every agent I could. All of them.”

Chills had been sent down your spine. When Safin didn’t get his way, he used violence. You never knew Spectre’s downfall, but all along it had been his man. No wonder Bond was able to take them down; it was all because Safin had practically murdered half of them in a rage since he couldn’t kill his ex-lover’s family. Your thoughts began to race. If you didn’t do as Safin pleased, would he truly kill you? Who could have ever loved someone such as Safin? Too many questions came to your mind.

“So, that’s what you do.” You noted, raising your eyebrows. “Kidnap women and force them to fall in love with you?”

Safin’s face scrunches up with anger, “No, she was different. She was a whore. I never hurt her. I spoiled her and loved her. She betrayed me. But you...” He looks at you with his expressions softening. “Are different. Out of all the women I have encountered, you y/n...are different.”

“That’s all you men come up?” You snort, staring right into his eyes. “Say that were different and then only use us for our bodies? You’re different, Safin. If you don’t get what you please, you act out. You use violence and kill.”

Safin looked at y/n, seeing the smirk on her face. She knew how obsessed he was with her, the anarchist obsessed with the cyrptographer. Safin had no intention of killing you and couldn’t bring himself to kill the woman he was madly in love with. Instead of becoming upset, he saw through you. All y/n was doing was poking the bear, refusing to give into Safin. Safin knew her antics all too well.

“Your hands are not clean either, y/n,” He debated. “Three hundred and thirteen men is a large kill count for such a young woman…”

In your short time in the military, you had achieved one of the highest kill counts in your ranking. Everyone knew you as the girl who never missed. From surviving alone in Serbia and crawling out of building rubble in Iraq, you were respected and feared. But that had been in the past when you still were young and had sanity. Now you were older, wiser, and even more broken. The military had changed your life drastically.

Safin truly knew how to dig under your skin and make you upset. He wanted to see you weak and feel stronger. You refused to let him. A small voice in your head kept telling you, “ Don't play his game. Play yours.”

“ Safin, you’re the most accomplished stalker I’ve ever met” You chuckle. He’s oddly smiling like nothing was wrong.

“A beautiful bird cannot freely fly in a cage.” The anarchist response, a small smile on his face. He relinked your arms as you walked back inside of the submarine pen.

Safin saw y/n, once acting up again. Seeing her make small “hmphs” and look away softly made Safin chuckle. He kept telling himself that with time, she would fall in love with him. Y/n was a young and stubborn woman who didn’t go down without a fight. Once Safin had her, he wasn’t going to let her go. Y/n was all Safin’s now. All the anarchist ever desired was to have company in his lonely lair. Not only someone to love but someone he could talk to and even work with. Y/n was the woman of his dreams who he had yearned for. She had to fall in love with him. She didn’t have another choice.

Safin let her slide away but still kept their arms linked. A part of him wanted to carry her to there next location, but he knew that she would probably punch him. In his spare time, Safin spent hours preparing the submarine pen for Y/n’s arrival. The bedroom was designed to fulfill her needs, but that wasn’t the only place that was meant for her.

“Close your eyes,” He says as you arrive at a large door.

You look at him and raise an eyebrow, immediately protesting. “Your going to trap me in a room where I cannot escape, aren’t you?”

“You are a guest, not a prisoner.” Safin reminded. You roll your eyes, deciding to go alone. Closing your eyes, Safin’s opens the door and leads you in. Taking small steps into the room, you can bear water running and birds chirping. A light that wasn’t artificial was projecting onto your skin. Opening your eyes, you couldn’t believe what you were seeing.

You were inside of a large glass atrium that had an open ceiling, showing the sun and cherry blossom tears. Their sakura petals fell into the garden, a few landing on your clothes and hair. Like all of the other gardens in the submarine pen, it was inspired after a Japanese Zen Garden but with color. There were Cherries, Bamboo, Camellias, Lavender, and a range of other flowers. Out of all of the places in your cold and unwelcoming home, this place had shined the brightest. It brought a true smile onto your face. Letting go of Safin, you walk down into the shrubs and are greeted with a small pond and a chabudai with a teapot and two cups.

“Would you like to have some tea?” Safin offers. You turn around and nod, a smile still on his face. Your not smiling at him, but the beauty of the garden. Before, the flat you had lived in was too small to host a garden (you also lived in the heart of Chelsea). As a substitute, your garden was a bunch of homemade terrariums and flowers. It felt like ethereal heaven.

The two of you sit down in the garden. Safin loves to see you so memorized with all of the plants. He had been in your apartment a few times when you weren’t there. He didn’t know how you managed to live in such a contained space. He had noticed all of the flowers and candles you had kept around and tried to replicate it best. He wasn’t doing something for himself, but his y/n.

“ Your smile is like the flowers in the spring.” He compliments. You look at him as you admire the diverse range of flowers that surround you. “It’s divine.”

“Oh..” You say as you feel your cheeks burn. This man was not going to stop until he got what he wanted. Safin went from kidnapping you to giving you a beautiful garden, along with subtle flirting. You weren’t really into dating much and never were hit on, even if you were a young woman. “Um, thank you..?”

He pours you a cup of Chai tea, and the two of you sit there, drinking in silence. Safin refuses to take his eyes off of you, admiring your every breath you take. Seeing you look at the flowers, fiddle with the cup, and small strands of hair fall into your face as you push them behind your ear. Everything about you was so magical to Safin. No matter what, Safin was going to make y/n fall in love with him. The two of you had enjoyed your tea in peace. Out of all of the madness, being in the gardens brought you peace.

Safin had let you enjoy the moment until he asked the question that he had been pondering about. “Do you love me?”

You nearly spit your tea out. Safin had been subtly flirting with you, but hearing him say the world love made you nearly choke. His face looked surprised, waiting for an answer. You had barely been around this man for a week, and he was already claiming he loved then. Then again, he did stalk you.

“I..um..no?” You spit, furrowing your thick eyebrows. The question had caught you completely off-guard.

Safin smiles, nodding at the response. Although upset at your answer, he knows that you will eventually have to give into him. Safin always got what he wanted, no matter the cost. “Fair enough, you will come around with time.”

The younger and more stubborn part of you would have loved to throw the tea into his hideous face and beat him. But it wasn’t so simple. Safin was a dangerous and mysterious man. The reason Europe was probably going to go into a civil war was because of him. M16 was probably going to have it’s a downfall because his blood became tainted on your hands. Not only were your friends were at risk, but so was your family. Safin had made a threat that if you didn’t comply, then he would...hurt them for you to love you. You couldn’t love a man that would hurt your family and drag them into your mess.

So you did the selfless act. You, a young woman, sacrificed yourself to Safin so your family could be safe from him. You would comply but at a price. No matter the cost, you wouldn’t give Safin exactly what he wanted.

Y/n was giving him the silent treatment again. Her face scrunched up as she looked away, annoyed.

“More like a thousand years.”

“Listen to me, my dear. I will strike a deal. Every night, I will ask you at dinner if you love me. Tell me no as much as you want. I don’t care how long it takes for you to come to your senses.” Safin proposes his plan. He sees y/n’s sudden interest with his “idea.”

“And when I do?”

“The next day will be your wedding day.”

Your jaw almost drops to the ground. Safin was an insane man; you already knew that. He was delusional enough to think that you were going to love him, but marry? That was a whole other level.

“You told Q in Athens you wanted to fall in love before you married, so I have given you however long you need.” He reassures. “But I know it will happen.”

You look at him with pure hate in your eyes. Words could barely process in your mind. You clench your teacup so tightly that you don’t even care if it begins to burn your palms. Safin had a smile on his face. He stood up and walked over to you, helping you up.

“I can get up myself, thank you very much,” You grumble as you walk ahead of him. Safin catches up and walks right beside you, seeing your anger. He pulls you closer than he did last time, tightly holding onto you. He knew that you weren’t going to protest if your family and friends were on the line. As you walk back to the bedroom, you feel relieved since being with Safin is emotionally exhausting. You mentally declare that he is one of the most insane men you had ever come across.

He stops in front of the door. A pissy “goodbye” leaves your mouth before Safin takes your hand, spinning you around. Your faces are even closer now. He smells like an expensive cologne with his haunting, big green eyes. The scars on his face aren’t burns, but horrid cuts that mutated his whole face. His hands were cold and rough from all of the scars. Safin doesn’t speak at all and just looks at your face in a creepy manner.

You feel his fingers brush against your skin as he puts a camellia behind your hair. Safin backs away, a smile on his face as he adores you. Out of all of the gloom in his life, y/n was ever so bright. She had been caught off guard when he placed the flower in her hair. His beautiful bride to be.

“I thought it would go well with your hair,’ He purrs as his fingers stroke it. “Anything would look lovely on you.”

Holding back at eye-roll, a soft sigh escapes your lips. “Thanks…”

“I hope you enjoyed our time together. The garden is for you and only you. Feel free to wander as you please. After all, this is our home now.” He slowly backs away, seeing your eyes watch him disappear down the fall. “I will be pack to pick you up for dinner at seven. Goodbye, my sweet y/n.”

Once he disappeared, you retreat back to your room and slam the door. You see yourself in the mirror with a bright flower in your hair. The hair you had combed had been touched by Safin, making you cringe. As much as you hated him, this new place was your home. This would be your life from now on, whether you liked it or not. Your family and friends’ lives were on the line. It wasn’t such a horrible life. The submarine pen was void of all life but lavish. If being in love with Safin meant your mother and sister would be safe, then so it be. You couldn’t believe you, a simple cryptographer, was the Anarchist’s, true love. Sighing in the mirror, you ask yourself a question that will never be answered.

What the hell had you gotten yourself into?

#rami malek x reader #safin x reader #safin #rami malek #no time to die #james bond #my writing

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