#does this make sense? i don't even know

[everlastiingiimmortals]

I was thinking again about Ratio's speech to Screwllum and how incensed he became, the sheer emotion in his voice when he speaks of the tumbles and triumphs of human life, and something about that clicked to me. And I think it's something I mentioned before, but it just never hit me so hard.

Ratio finds the human existence so beautiful.

He is so passionate about life, about the belief that it is because the human life is so small and fleeting that people should push and push and strive to their absolute limit, because that is what it means to be human, to be alive.

"Even a life marked by failure is a life worth living."

These are his words directly from the 1.6 ending cutscene. Would someone who only hated stupid, ignorant, factually incorrect people say that? I don't think so. And it is here that I realized: what Ratio hates isn't ignorance in the sense of not knowing something. Ignorance isn't the root cause of his dread.

It's a symptom.

It is a symptom of an attitude of complacency, of stagnation. Because it is as Screwllum says: everyone is ignorant of one thing or another; nobody knows everything, not even Nous. What Ratio is trying to pinpoint and change is that attitude, that quality of being ignorant as a trait, not a state. He's trying to kindle the drive for self-improvement, because to embrace oneself, complete with one's flaws and acknowledging them but striving to improve on them, that is so fucking beautiful. That is the meaning of life.

And I wonder if, really, he uses the word "ignorance" on purpose because it's just... an easier goal to communicate to others, especially with his methods of sparking change. I wonder if he sets himself up to be this "boss" to be challenged, and his classes the battle, because he takes such an antagonistic approach to every aspect of a person that can be criticized that people are compelled to challenge him. In this sense, he's similar to a certain Otto Apocalypse (and possibly his alts as well).

We even see in the space station that he's not specifically attacking ignorance with the phase flame incident, but rather the researchers' complacency and dependence on Herta. What he does is label it under "ignorance" because it is a more inflammatory word, and for those who walk the Path of Erudition, it is an insult. Ignorance is the antonym to erudition. And I guess that his decision to use this approach is because all his life he's been the scholarly type, been surrounded by scholarly types, and it is because of professors that challenged him and wanted to see him push his limits that got him this far. How much of his life might have been wasted if Professor Rond hadn't advocated for him in his youth? If he were to say he wanted to challenge complacency and preach self-sufficiency directly, he'd be a therapist. He would rather die; he could not stand being a therapist, his own sanity would not be able to handle it. What better way to spark change than through the profession he is most familiar with, the one that encouraged him, the one that he knows best? What better way than to use his passion for philosophy and the sciences to spark others'?

Call him a narcissist all you want, it's true, but also nobody would work this hard if they did not believe that their end goal wasn't absolutely worth it. No one would care so much if they didn't find the object of their care precious enough to cultivate. Nobody would make so many fucking statues if they didn't love and celebrate the human body because sculpting requires so much goddamn effort, especially with masonry.

What Ratio pursues is not necessarily the eradication of ignorance, but rather the advocacy of self-improvement, because the human existence is only its most beautiful when passion has a direction and the momentum to propel itself to its limit regardless of whatever stands in its way. That is his self-evident, unchanging truth.

#//about; (DOCTOR OF TRUTH) #i have written this a total of three separate times because i was just babbling about it to two different servers #willow cries and weeps about dr ratio yet again more at 11 #does this make sense? i don't even know #my head is only filled with ratio not rationality

[userjoel]

cards against joel / cards against ellie : [ THE 1.02 PACK ]

#joel miller #ellie williams #the last of us #tlou #tlouhboedit #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #userbbelcher #tusercora #tuserpolly #userallisyn #userconstance #tusernicky #xuserannie #* #tlou spoilers #does this even make sense #probably not #just thought this would be fun #i.... don't know if CAH are a thing anymore but

[m-for-now]

As someone who is genderfae (microlabel under genderfluid), I have a lot of different experiences with gender.

I just wish someone told me sooner that it won't go like "today I'm a girl" "today I'm an enby" but more like ,,, "today I am a swamp witch" "today I am a feminine victorian vampire boy" "today I am a forest goblin collecting people's stares about my gender expression like shiny rocks on the ground" "today I'm an androgynous pirate lady"

Like,,, sure, are those real genders? I don't fucking now. If a cisgender person asked me what I identify as that day, would I answer like that? No, definitely not.

But to my genderqueer, trans and genderfluid friends; do you get me? I can't be alone with this, right?

#genderfluid #genderfae #gender expression #genderqueer #transgender #nonbinary #queer #questioning my gender yet again #gender crisis #gender #my gender soup has so many flavours you don't understand #i needed to explain to my friend that when i say i want to dress like the cutest victorian inspired goth vampire prince #it's not actually a male gender #like.. you would really think it is #but that is a very nonbiney gender somehow #don't ask me how #or maybe it does count as male? #but the femininest androgynous male you can think of #like cute pretty let me giggle like a little girl kinda feminine #i don't even know if half of these things make sense #“why don't you just say girl or enby” #because moon witch dark cottagecore female isn't the same #as go out in the sun and enjoy the breeze i command a ship androgynous pirate lady female #anyways

[jade-of-mourning]

sorry sometimes i think about mako and my heart hurts so much. this kid raised himself and his brother on the streets in homelessness and utter poverty from eight through fifteen, promptly after seeing the violent death of his mother and father. he turned to the triple threats because they couldn't survive as a pair of wretched kids without any adult support, and the environment forced him to turn into the exact character that killed his parents in a terrible twist of irony. and after sheer-fucking-luck hits and they aren't homeless anymore, their livelihood wavers on the outcome of what's a literally game to everyone but them; and after things are finally starting to look up and their team is going places and things just might be okay, his gradually stabilizing world unceremoniously expands and everything goes to shit.

and the city that chewed him up and spat him back out, ruined him as a child and took away his ability to stay afloat in a true sense of normalcy as an adult — when it's on the verge of destruction and falling to pieces before his eyes, he gives himself to save it with the full expectation to die. he went from the kid who didn't and couldn't care about anything outside of himself and his brother, to finding redemption for his younger self in his police work despite its injustice against him, to willingly sacrificing himself to a world that had never loved him.

he's a desperate people pleaser, socially and emotionally stunted for the adult he had to be as a kid, unable to navigate interpersonal relationships easily yet still trying his damned hardest. he's intensely and entirely devoted to the things that matter to him and for so long it was only him, bolin, and ensuring their survival — yet by the end, that devotion has expanded to protecting the rest of the world. he starts out entirely self-reliant and ends in trusting the people he cares about to know their own needs, to be able to take care of themselves, to be okay without him despite having spent so much of his life defined by his role in others' well-being.

just. what the fuck i'm such a big fan of this fictional guy and i'm unashamed about it at this point. also let him cry please (if you won't i'll do it i'll let him cry)

#lychee's brain trash #mako lok #mako tlok #sorry for the shitpost i don't do a lot of those i realize #how tf did this guy not had a massive break down in canon at any point #nd like;; he never shows resentment for the unfairness of it all #he doesn't ever use his past to excuse any of his choices/actions that are influenced by it #which is pretty intrinsically linked to his relationship fumbles #he just quietly holds himself accountable and probably mildly despises himself haha #as much as i don't care for the love triangle it really does make complete sense in accordance to his backstory #anyway this is just a roundabout way of me expressing my salt at people writing him off as a malicious asshole lol #i literally cannot articulate the intense complex things his conjured up existence makes me feel #this does not even scratch the surface there is SO MUCH #i need to actually write the fifty fics that exist to my brain otherwise all these thoughts will never see the sun #trust that one day the avatar!mako au will emerge from my drafts;;; #and. you know. that one shot i've had in wip for the past 2.5 years #and the four other oneshots that will probably never be converted into actual words

[annabelle--cane]

a lot of my first thoughts about martin's characterization back when I first listened were about how he experienced the process of transition into adulthood in a weird out of joint manner, and I want to try and bring that back into the way I think about him. if he dropped out of school at 17 to become his family's breadwinner, then it stands to reason that he'd probably been filling a lot of the "head of household" roles since his early teens, but always in service to and under the direction of a parent that hated him. assuming that he got his institute job within, say, a year of dropping out, and he had to move to london on his own, being able to do all that as a teenager and not just implode (especially with no emotional support) is a significant feat, but it was all based on lies. all of his coworkers would have thought he was 4-6 years older than he was, and he could manage it, but only by making them think he was an incompetent young adult instead of an actually very capable teen. he went straight from being a kid with no time for being a kid to being an adult who was never taught how to be an adult. I think that does something to a person's ability to evaluate their own skills and importance.

#tma #marina marvels at life #I know some people don't really like ajn's take that for the first few seasons he's emotionally an 18 y/o and I get why #but it does kinda make sense. that's the age where he would have had to start lying about nearly every aspect of his life. #hard to have healthy social development when you can't even tell your peers your real birthday

[seaweedstarshine]

“They engineered a psychopath to kill you.” “Totally married her. I'd never have made it here alive without River Song.”

Sources: Let's Kill Hitler, Diary of River Song: My Dinner With Andrew, Closing Time, The Husbands of River Song, Diary of River Song: The Furies, Diary of River Song: Animal Instinct, The Ruby's Curse, Time of the Doctor

#I don't know if this makes sense but I'm having fun #this is not an attempt to assign meaning to 'psychopath' but to explore how river relates to the identifier in relation to her trauma #and obvs not trying to equate implications of what river does with kovarian- rather examine how the abuse shaped her #river song #doctor who #ive got so many ideas for these and im wasting my 'time off' making gifs instead of taking advantage of #the ability to ignore work emails to get done other massive work projects. oh well #you know what. since this is my second media set in a row ima start tagging them like so- #edits by seaweed #words by seaweed #madame kovarian #crispy!master #the master #I deliberately didnt include the psychopath lines from Picnic at Asgard bc im saving it for a set about River as a demiurge :D #oh and I'm saving 'my bespoke psychopath' for a possible yowzah post surrounding 'two psychopaths is too much for one tardis' line #is SO much easier to do this to express my thoughts than writing words. you don't even KNOW how many incoherent essays in my drafts #okay ima get back to work #and then sleep

[keferon]

I don't want medieval mechs to transform into cars and airplanes and helicopters because that would kinda ruin the whole medieval fantasy vibe.

But Senator Shockwave's altmode is a space shuttle...

And shuttles also aren't exactly very medieval...

But what if I made him fly without altmode...

...

What if I gave him wings.....

What if I gave him gorgeous shiny metal wings...

#you know haha #Blurr can still be so freaking fast even without his altmode #it would be bair if our beloved senator could still fly #*fair #i don't know #I need to think about that #his armor does have these big pointy pieces on the back #right behind his shoulders #they...c o u l d ...be turning into pair of wings maybe #hmm #I'm not sure if that would fit him #but he would be able to....potentially...theoreticaly...fly and carry Blurr in his arms #okay it's midnight I'm probably making no sense haha

[p4nishers]

the fact that buck didn't start smiling or try to play it off as a joke when eddie asked if he was okay. bc with maddie and the others he felt like he had to be okay FOR them. like they were waiting for him to fall apart but he just couldn't allow himself that, because no matter how much he loves them, he can never be truly vulnerable with them without feeling like a burden. but with eddie, he doesn't have that. eddie is his safe place, the person who has seen him at his worst and let buck see him at his worst. so no, he didn't play dying off as a joke bc this was eddie and eddie never needed him to pretend to be alright, he only needed him to be there, alive and with eddie. that's the difference.

it really boils down to buck saying "you don't need to pretend with me" in s5. because they don't, they really don't have to pretend with each other and now that eddie is in a better place he can recognize that and apply it to their relationship as well.

#going actually clinically insane at this point i don't even know what im saying like the brain parasites are working OVERTIME to get those #braincells destroyed like i seriously need a lobotomy or to drink acid or some shit cause jesus #does this even make sense? its too late for big brain posts sorry #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 fox #911 spoilers #911 6b #buddie 911 #911 6x12 #buck x eddie #buck and eddie

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've been thinking a lot about the one-dimensional kinda fandom interpretations of Dazai and Chuuya in particular - the overemphasis on Dazai's weird brand of mischief/manipulation and Chuuya's anger and tendency to lash out and how it's not like these traits are... wrong, per se - these are their surface level/immediately notable characteristics - it's just that it misses the nuance as to why these traits likely exist.

What these interpretations don't fully capture is their very similar cores deep down - two people plagued by feelings of alienation, human inadequacy and repeated loss. Despite starting from these very similar places, they both dealt with the issue in near opposite ways. Dazai numbed himself to pain (remember: he hates pain! I cannot emphasize this enough!) and rarely gets close to anyone for fear he will lose them - his loss led to apathy, a withdrawal from humanity, a fear that he will always be empty inside - his ability: No Longer Human. Chuuya, on the other hand, refuses to numb himself and instead feels every single emotion in full and values his bonds with others over anything. He wants to belong and makes efforts to be perceived as a part of his group. Underlying this, however, is a kind of tired grief paired with resilience - remember that his ability is Upon the Tainted Sorrow. Not anger, or rage.

Sorrow is what results from this kind of heavy identity crisis and loss - for both of them. Think of Odasaku's read on Dazai as someone who looked close to tears when "acting" in front of the sniper poised to shoot him, describing him to Gide as a too-smart child left in the dark, or the way Stormbringer constantly reminds us that Chuuya is 16 and the desperation he feels in the scene where he holds his own dying clone, unable to help him.

Both characters carry a melancholy, resulting from their respective issues with their own humanity - I know I'm not the first one to comment on how their abilities could just as easily be referring to each other as well as themselves. This reads as very intentional to me - much like Atsushi's story begins as a clear parallel to the short story Rashoumon and Akutagawa sometimes being referred to in more beast-like terms than man, it makes sense that Dazai and Chuuya would reference each other in a similar vein.

And if that was the end of it, then we would expect that deep sorrow to shine through in both characters, but it rarely does except in pivotal moments. That's because the both of them have had to constantly deal with external threats - they believe they cannot afford to show vulnerability.

So, what you get instead is Dazai taking a kind of twisted ownership over his inhumanity and using it to make people afraid of him and to control everything so that he is never blindsided and hurt again, in the process, further alienating himself and making his issues worse. He inflicts fear so he doesn't have to be afraid. He can relax and be as silly as he wants - so long as everything around him is completely according to his predictions. There's a bonus to his foolish demeanour as well: hardly anyone can read him well enough to get close.

Then you get Chuuya, who feels so strongly and so much that it has no choice but to boil over, and due to never being able to or feeling comfortable with being anything but "the strongest", he hides moments when he is touched, or worried, or grieving, with anger and violence and defensiveness. As such, he is always seen as more weapon than person, a cut above the rest, forever standing out to others no matter how much he tries to integrate. The closest he came to true belonging was wrenched away from him before he could have a chance to know what that would actually feel like with the death of the Flags.

These surface traits are defense mechanisms. And the amusing thing to me is that likely means these two would love if that's all most people ever saw of them. (Of course, they clearly do want to be seen and accepted, but defense mechanisms become automatic over time because they often feel much safer. Likely another reason they clash so much - they see each other, and it is deeply uncomfortable for them both.)

So, you have Dazai defending himself with his two-faced nature, making jokes and/or manipulating everyone in the vicinity, and Chuuya defending himself with intimidation and anger, never letting any vulnerability show through because anger is easier but at the core of all of this is that loss and that grief and the sorrow and fear that pervades from it.

#they both really said 'do not perceive me' lol #i know i'm kinda stating the obvious here but eh #it was fun to write out #also quick note #i don't have the novels on me so i'm relying on memory #if i've misremembered something please let me know and i'll fix it - just be polite! #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #skk #storyrambles #actually does this even make sense? #lol i hope it does #bsd meta #bsd analysis #ugh i've read this over like five times i'm just gonna post it now

[lover-of-mine]

I couldn't get that right...

#911 #buddie #911edit #buddieedit #911verse #buddiesource #911 spoilers #911 on fox #911 fox #911 abc #eddiediazedit #evanbuckleyedit #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #usercam #i need a buddie and x tag #evan buckley #eddie diaz #flashing tw #i dont even know if this makes sense #does this make sense?????????? #anyway #i saw a vision now you get it #aoksaokasasok

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[petercapaldi]

😌

#ofmdedit #our flag means death #ofmd #blackbonnet #blackstede #edward teach #stede bonnet #[you wear fine things well] #* #shows #is this anything #i dont know idk #it's like #they're releasing a breath they didn't know they were holding? like it's a relief #does that make sense #honestly i didn't know what else to use instead of sigh. it's not perfect but my first choice turned out to not even be a word lmao #also i don't have an actual caption for this so fkshfksk

[lesbianbanana]

genuinely how was Dakota born? Does Bacchus sometimes come to life while Dionysus is at chb and randomly go reproduce because he's not confined to Zeus' rules? Did Bacchus just think the kid into existence Athena style? Was he just really fucking drunk one time?

#can just imagine dionysus/bacchus missing from camp for a few days and chirons like ah yes bacchus must be roaming #zeus watching bacchus roam around knowing he cant trap a roman god in a greek camp: oof #OR MAYBE HE DOES TRAP BOTH BACCHUS AND DIONYSUS THERE AND THATS WHY SOMETIMES HES EXTRA SALTY AND SOMETIMES HES RANDOMLY ACTUALLY NICE #chiron: kids stay away from mr. d for a while #bacchus: MR. D??????? BITCH CALL ME MR. B??? *CHUGS DIET PEPSI* #the campers: ???????????? #honestly when they learn abt the romans i bet half of them were like ohhhh now everything makes sense #don't even get me started abt liber #pjo dionysus #dionysus #bacchus #bacchus pjo #pjo #hoo #dakota pjo #camp halfblood #camp jupiter

[saucy-mesothelioma]

People who don't watch Mystery Science Theater 3000, explain what's happening in this scene:

#believe it or not this actually does make some sense in context #but I'm curious to see what people think #Joel always gets me in this scene #I aspire to be like him one day #I have no clue what to tag this #do I even tag MST3K if I want people who don't know the show to answer? #fuck it who cares #mst3k #mystery science theater 3000 #YouTube

[uncanny-tranny]

I was always enraged at the way capitalism has devalued some of the most important labour in human history, but now I'm even more angry since I have started getting more into crafts.

So many people are alienated from the world to such an extent they don't realize how fucking important textiles and construction and art and culinary labour is, because its all ubiquitous under capitalism: it is all profit, and if it isn't profit, then it is worthless. People don't realize just how revolutionary all of the labour was, how important it is, and was, to our survival. And that enrages me.

#politics #anti capitalism #the reason you have people going 'would it be $20 if you knit me a sweater' is because of that alienation... #...because of the fact that they're not used to non-exploitation and the fact that textiles are fundamental to humanity... #...because capitalism has so alienated them from the world around them they don't understand what goes INTO textiles... #...they only know that sweaters cost $20 at walmart and that price is rational for them #and that isn't to say that they are at fault but that they are the result of capitalistic alienation and exploitation #like i'm sorry for posting so much about crafts and shit but it really makes me think more about all of this you know? #and it's just made me think that all of this is so much deeper #DOES THIS ALL MAKE SENSE.... #i feel like no-bark noonan right now the way i am raving and ranting #the hobbyist crafter to even stauncher anticapitalist pipeline has fucking yeeted me through #yes i'm aware of karl marx's theory of alienation and i'm saying he was onto something

[spill-to-t]

"Rick cries so much" "Daryl cries too much" "Maggie cries too much"...

Imagine one day this whole world changes and you see your loved ones dying in front of you. You see your best friend, husband/wife, child, brother/sister dying in front of you. You feel responsible because you weren't there or didn't act the right way. Imagine you feel guilty for so many bad happenings. Imagine that you are just confused and overwhelmed sometimes. I really don't understand why you would say this? Doesn't matter which character, they all lost not only one person, some of them lost their whole family. This show is about the fucking death and it's a fucking drama show. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT? How can you be annoyed by people crying when they just lost someone? What else should they do? Have a little dance?

I don't get it

#Imagine you are a parent and see you child dying... oh why do they cry so much #If you don't like drama don't watch it #Hell I'm crying and I dont even know these FICTIONAL people #just wanted to say that #the walking dead #twd #rick grimes #daryl dixon #maggie rhee #the walking dead fandom #I always get so mad when people say this because it does not even make sense