#everything you're saying about knowing myself and being myself... when i know that God wants us to deny ourselves.... i.... can't

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #comix #an open fly walking

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

hello! I'm in a bit of a slump and I don't know how to get out of it. 3D is kicking my ass and I'm feeling very defeated, seemingly can't even feel excited,happy or anything alike when it comes to my manifestation,I've been crying and trying to get a hold of myself however,I just don't know what to do. I'm manifesting a celebrity SP and managed to manifest some things about him but my intrusive thoughts get a hold of me and sometimes end up manifesting...could you please give me some sort of advice? I apologize for my possibly bad english at times,it's not my first language

Hello love!

Well to begin with i advice you to take a break and just forget about everything, just take your mind off, go for a walk, hang out with Friends, or just spend some Time with yourself like watching some movies and just having fun.

I need you to forget about everything you learned about the Law and just going to the basic:

: ̗̀➛ Decide.

: ̗̀➛ Affirm.

: ̗̀➛ Persist.

That it.

Shhh nope, nope no questions as : what if? How? When? No. Don't question that.

You need to understand that you are the creator of your own reality, everything goes your way, you are the boss, the master! Okay?

Everything is you pushed out, you Can assume who's nice to you, obsessed with you, jealous of you, or mean to you.

How you view the World and yourself = how it is gonna show up.

Your sp celebrity is just a human being like us, eating like us, breathing the same air like us, it is nothing above you and when i mean NOTHING that means you are the only one in the pedestal.

You need to take him off the pedestal, you have the power to manifest him, yes you are limitless. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO YOU. Nuh uh impossible is not in my dictionary 🙄💅🏻.

Your subconscious is blind. It believes whatever you tell it to, so take advantage of that.

For the 3d i know you can't ignore it when it is obviously in front of your face.

Just dismiss it, yup that it, read that post and this one it explain it so well.

Fulfill yourself in imagination cause that the only true reality.

Change yourself within and the 3d will follow.

Seeing something in the 3d? Nope nope i do already have my desires 💅🏻🙄.

Hard circumstances? Nope i have it in my imagination.

Too good to be true? Nope what do you mean? I'm the creator of my Reality and i'm the only one in the pedestal 💅🏻🙄.

Second of all you need to get off social media because you'll start obsessing over your sp celebrity and seeing if he conformed or if he showed any signs.

I advice you to know to completely know that your sp celebrity belongs to you, he's yours, no one and i mean no one gonna take them away from you.

You said you have intrusive thought and you fear they'll manifest? Nope you are much more greater and powerful than that, YOU ARE GOD! What do you mean? You're trying to Say that someone as powerful as you fear their intrusive thought?! Hell nah you control them! You make them get away from your head! You decide what gonna manifest if it is that and that.

Just know that your subconscious is smart and it knows what you want and what you want to manifest so keep that in mind.

If you want to manifest them you need to start being disciplined and keep a strict mental diet.

See my post and this post of the blogger that manifested their sp celebrity.

I Hope you understood this and i Hope you take Care of yourself and prioritize your mental health 💗🫶🏻.

And don't worry your english is good ☺️.

Xoxo, Eli

#law of assumption #loa tumblr #loa #loa blog #law of manifestation #how to manifest #asks #anon ask #loassumption #loablr

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[vulpinesaint]

aro people are so fucking cool and great and awesome. you're so strong, every single one of you. i love you so much for waking up every day and contending with the idea that we need love to live, whether you do it by fighting for the idea that you experience love in other ways or fighting for the idea that you don't experience love at all or however else you push back against that system. it can be so hard to be told by society that you're never going to have something that's supposed to be fulfilling above all else but by god you're getting through it and you're doing it amazingly. you're revolutionary and so strong and whatever societal aspects tell you that you're unloveable are lying because i love you (and if that means nothing to you, that's perfectly fine. you're fantastic just the way you are.)

#loveless aros are so great i see you and i embrace you you're everything #my personal approach is to say that i simply experience and understand love better than alloromantics which is true because i do <3 #aromanticism #aro positivity #i've never made a positivity post before i think i should do it more often #aromantic positivity #aro #aroace #aroace positivity #so hard to speak and be vocal about being aspec it feels like #i spent a good amount of formative years being privy to the whole exclusionism thing and now it's hard for me to feel like part of things #because goddamn was out community decimated by that #again! i hate that they made me feel like my own label was cringe #fuck it though i'll build a community again myself #god knows i've aro'd and ace'd enough friends at this point dfgjsdhf #put ur middle finger black rings on mfrs i want people to know what it means when i go out in public!!!!

[non-un-topo]

Seems like I'm having another pain flare-up, this time so much worse than the last :(

#i don't know what i'm gonna do about school this year. at this point i definitely can't carry a bag #can't even carry just my ass around without being in so much pain. and i can't fit anything in a fanny pack #i've been stretching and trying to work out my muscles veeeery slowly. because if i don't i'll injure myself again #..........maybe i should just say fuck it and finally see a doctor. #but nooo. if you're afab and you see a doctor for pain it's gonna be two things: #'oh it's your period of course!' 'oh it's not your period? then have you tried yoga? drinking water?' #i swear to god it's always like that #partner thinks i might have fibro and i'm not completely unconvinced #my entire middle-upper back and ribs and sternum are just killing me. can't stand up straight or slouch without pain #stretching doesn't seem to be doing anything to help but i'm going to keep trying #can't tell if this is just because i'm 26 and not active at all or if i have some other serious underlying condition #though if i've been in pain every single day for at least the last 11 years it's probably p fucking serious. #i just want to cry. everything aches like when you have a fever or the flu #i'm also feeling SO nauseous this morning like holy shit #someone might have to physically drag me to the doctor tbh #medical trauma wee hoo!!!

[danielnelsen]

family is out having a nice dinner and trying to convince me to come but i have way too much to do before i have to get up at the crack of dawn to get on a plane tomorrow, so dad's like "the food will be so nice, you're really missing out" then gives the phone to my sister who's like "the food will be so nice, you're really missing out," like........what part of "i have too much to do" says i can be convinced as if im just lazily deciding to stay home? all you've done is made me feel bad on top of being stressed about everything i have to do and how im not gonna get to have nice food today. cool thanks

#personal #if you know me i am CONSTANTLY complaining about how we never have any food at home #so i was gonna make some toast or something #but oh im so glad you're gonna be enjoying your nice restaurant food #do you think with everything ive said over the last few days that any of them realise that im having a TERRIBLE TIME RIGHT NOW??? #it's like when we were out on sunday and i started saying i was exhausted and wanted to go home after we'd been out for HOURS-- #--and everyone just shrugged and told me to deal with it for MORE HOURS while i was VERY VISIBLY HAVING A BAD TIME #and very obviously been recovering from that since then #AND BEING STRESSED OUT OF MY MIND ABOUT OUR PETS WHILE WE'RE GONNA BE AWAY #that's another thing. like late last week i said thing were really stressful #that was because my sister volunteered to look after my cat at her house while we're away like DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CATS #terrible idea. and she suggested a trial run and i was so stressed for that but thought maybe it'd be fine and reassure me... #no. cat was at my sister's house for about 24 hrs and didnt eat AT ALL. just hid under the bed the WHOLE TIME #and like. my cat doesnt drink water at all; she only gets it through her food. so she DIDNT DRINK that whole time too #and i was so stressed beforehand and then so much more stressed when nobody seemed pressed about getting her back home with any haste????? #someone's gonna look after her at home while we're away now which will be fine but there's still a bit of background stress there #like i have been stressed out of my mind the last two weeks and ive been explaining why im stressed to people all through it #and NOBODY IS PAYING ANY ATTENTION. IM EXHAUSTED AND STRESSED AND I HATE TRAVELLING AND EVERYONE KNOWS THIS #i was looking forward to having a few days by myself because im coming home before everyone else (thank god) #but the person looking after the cat needs somewhere to stay for a bit so they'll be here for a few days after i get back #i'll still get a few days by myself after they've left but like. i need a break. we havent even left and i need a break. im gonna go cry no #but only briefly because I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO #sorry this has just been building for weeks and so much of it has just been worse than i expected and im still just so fucking tired #this food thing isnt too big of a deal. im just gonna order something. but just on top of everything else................ #im just upset that everyone around me is just completely oblivious to me TELLING THEM THAT IM FEELING TERRIBLE #like i said on the phone just now 'why are you making me feel bad when ive said i cant go' and dad didnt really have an answer #AND THEN HE JUST GAVE ME A LIST OF OTHER THINGS HE WANTS ME TO DO BEFORE THEY GET BACK TONIGHT. HELLO??????? #sorry that part only just occurred to me. he literally just gave me more to do after i said i cant go out because i have too much to do. ok

[neverendingford]

.

#got knocked off my gourd last night. it peeled back some layers that I've already learnt to pull back. #tag talk #I of course took two edibles when I should have only taken one. because I do not do anything by half measures #any deeper thought feels like a fake deep like in a dream when you have a conviction but it's not real. #we split into two though. for a moment. he was watching a movie and I was fixated on a corn dog for like.. what felt like an hour #mostly my sense of time went to shit. everything in the past stopped existing so even speaking was hard because that requires forethought #how can you think about what you're going to say when you can't remember what you just said. a sentence is a linear construct #I just really wanna get fucked while high now. that would be wild as hell #I'm a fan of roller coasters. you get on and strap in and you have no control over stopping the experience until it's over. you just hang on #it's how I prefer to drink too. load up quick and ride it out. I don't want to ride the line as a static waveform. #I want to dive too deep and hold my breath until I surface. #I still had rational thought of course. I asked a friend about boundaries before talking about a few subjects. #I thought about frying bread but recognized it was not a safe smart thing to do in that state. #I kept a no-spill water bottle close. had a snack. #idk. very fun experience. but it feels kind of dumb to talk about it to people. it was such an internal experience. best experienced alone #like. very private. but like. not in some bs spiritual sense. I'm not trying to make it sound like I saw gods or anything. #I already know what I think and what I care about. I already love my friends and care for myself. but looking at it from a different angle. #it felt familiar though. cause like. being dissociative is something I'm pretty well used to. not as much anymore though which is good. #but yeah. I already knew how to be careful and direct my body even though I wasn't in the control room #muscle memory and habit carried me a ton through the experience.

[shadow4-1]

I'm just imagining having spent the night with a lover who isn't in the 141, only to wake up the next morning and there's in intervention waiting for you in the rec room.

Like, at first you're just confused. But when Price opens his mouth to ask you about how you slept...you have a bit of a meltdown. Why does it matter? Why is everyone staring at you? What's going on?

Soap grabs the collar of your t-shirt and pulls it down so everyone can get a look at the dark hickies dotting your neck. You slap his hand away, tears in your eyes.

"So all of you can do whatever you want? Sneak bitches on base and fuck around at all the bars we pass through! But I'm not allowed to do anything with someone I actually like?!"

It hurts. It feels like you're being stripped bare in front of them.

Price sighs, his gaze softens. It's obvious he doesn't want to have this conversation but something you've done has given him no choice. Soap just stands a few feet away, chest puffed out, eyeing you with a strange annoyance. You know if you try to leave he'll stop you.

"You are...not in the same position as us." Price tries and winces. He's obviously not putting his thoughts into soft enough words, but he continues. "You are...it is our responsibility to keep you safe."

"Safe? You're trying to keep me safe?" Your voice is raised higher than you've ever raised it at Price. "Safe by what? Fighting off all the guys at the bars? Safe by spreading lies about me to all of the PMCs and the other Task Forces?"

Price just closed his eyes and set his jaw. He had to know about the subterfuge you'd been experiencing for well over a couple years now. Everyone in the room was guilty as charged.

"You're and asset. And you're also a liability." Ghost speaks up, eyes narrowed, stance way too relaxed against the metal folding chair he sits in. "Do you remember what happened to the 7th Division?"

Saliva pools in your mouth, a sudden queasiness filling your stomach. Yeah, of course you remembered. Their beloved medic had been kidnapped by a group of angry drug lords using a mercenary group as their muscle. The 7th Division had gone in guns blazing to get their member back and well...they'd been wiped out. And their star medic they'd sacrificed everything for? She'd been brainwashed and inducted into the very agency that stole her away.

KORTAC

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" You mutter. "Please tell me you're not."

"We can't have you fraternizing with anyone." Price states smoothly. "As our medic, you have a responsibility to us, your team. We can't have you getting caught up in something bigger."

"I understand what you're saying, but can't you see how ridiculous this is?" You try to reason. "I'm human, I have- god this is embarrassing. I h-have wants and...needs, just like you guys."

The silence is loud. You can't meet anyone's gaze. Price steps closer to you, swallowing hard. His next few words are spoken softly, conspiratorially.

"All of your needs will be taken care of. We will never let you suffer by yourself."

Price cocks his head to the men before you both. All of them straighten beneath his gaze. Price places a hand on the small of your back.

"Whatever it takes." He commands them. "I better not hear or see anything. Do I make myself clear?"

A trio of "yessirs" bounce off the white walls. Price just smiles and nods. He pats your back.

"There we go. You'll be fine." He sighs. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to your guest."

Your eyes widen, your throat drops into your stomach.

"Wait!"

"We've got ye, Bonnie. You n' all yer needs."

Six hands are on you from several different angles. Their massive frames block out the fluorescent lights.

"Ah, where are you goin'?" Gaz chuckles, his arm wraps around your belly.

You try to run after Price but the rec room door is slammed shut and locked. You try to push the closest man away, but he just grins down at you.

#cod imagines #mw2 #call of duty #mw2 headcanons #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #john soap mactavish #captain price #simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick

[churipu]

STRAIGHT TO VOICEMAIL 𓆝 ⋆｡𖦹°‧

ִ ࣪𖤐 featuring. gojo satoru

ִ ࣪𖤐 warnings. cursing, mentions of death, gojo being sad and angry, 2006 gojo geto shoko.

note. for some reason i feel angsty today and i just saw this prompt on pin, just had to write it lol.

gojo has never loathed himself more than when he missed your call — your very last call.

"i could've fuckin' saved them, suguru." gojo blankly stared at the ceiling, his head thrown back onto the couch's rest; he was conflicted, he didn't know what to do. it was as if his motoric abilities had just stopped all of a sudden.

"satoru . . ."

"i could've fuckin' saved y/n." the white haired male mumbled out, his face scrunching in frustration.

gojo has dealt with death. a lot. the concept of death isn't a stranger to him anymore, not in this world — and to think that he'd actually be alive to experience deaths of his loved ones, thinking he could have done so much more made him hate himself.

god, gojo hated crying in front of other people. the aura in the room was palpable. nobody spoke —nobody dared to speak— and the only sound resounding was the vague ticking belonging to the clock hanging on the wall.

"i could've fuckin' saved them," the male repeated for the third time, his voice breaking that he had to inhale sharply to stop himself from breaking down right there.

gojo pushed himself up, placing his palms above his eyes, pressing down on them harshly; he lets out a loud sigh, "where the fuck did it all go wrong?"

"y/n was killed in action . . ." god, gojo wanted to rip his hair out when yaga called him in privately to say that. the male had lost count of how many times the statement repeated in his mind.

frankly, it's haunting.

out of all the news he could have received today, he never expected to hear your death lulling into his eardrums. so soon. so many things swirling in his mind all at once that even he, deemed the strongest, felt the sensation of losing. he felt weak.

"hi, 'toru — you're probably busy since my call went straight to voice mail, but 'm just saying . . . i love you, and i miss you. so much." there was a slight pause and your breathing shallowed into the mic, every single detail in your last moments were graved in that file, "'m not sure if . . . i'll be back as soon as i promised, but, i just want you to know that whatever happens. happens."

there was a slight static before your soft voice recoiled back into the mic, "i've never broken any promises to you, but this might be the very first time — and just know that i've never wanted to do this, i fucking hate myself for this," your voice broke slightly, "'m bleeding. a lot. but 'm trying to stop it just like how ieiri taught me. and i think 'm doing shit at it . . . i don't know what happened, and how it happened; but 'm not doing okay."

"i don't want to die, 'toru." you whispered into the mic, hoarse and weak — feeling the life drain out, "i really don't want to die . . . i have so many things i want to do with you, and suguru, and ieiri . . ." you murmur out, inhaling sharply but it all ended up with you coughing out in pain.

"remember that time i said i wanted to open a pet hotel . . ? i don't know if you think i was joking, but i was really serious about opening one," you began to mumble out, all in random directions — none of your words make any sense anymore, and you could barely keep yourself awake.

"i don't want to die, please," you pleaded, desperate for life. no matter what you did at this point — the light inside of you was almost out, and you can't do anything about it, "fuck. i hate this. so much, 'toru."

"i want to see you again. i miss you. i miss you so so much," you softly murmur out, " . . . i love you. i love you so much, satoru."

and everything ended right after. including you.

gojo has never loathed himself more than when he missed your call. your. very. last. call.

© CHURIPU 2024 , DO NOT COPY OR REPOST ANYWHERE

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo #satoru #gojo angst #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst #gojo satoru angst #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #angst

[amourane]

kick in the right direction

pairing: football player!seungcheol x mascot!reader

genre: fluff, university au

w/c: 0.9k

summary: seungcheol is the star football player in your university but he becomes a bumbling mess in front of you.

warnings: none, you do get hit by a ball though

a/n: i have decided to start writing fics for seventeen too because i just love them way way too much <3 also disclaimer this post used to be under my old url httphannie <3

Seungcheol doesn’t know what to say. He usually has an explanation for his actions. There doesn’t seem to be anything coming to his mind when he sees you on the ground. The problem with being the star player on the football team was the amount of trust his coach put on him. As well as the thought that they needed to win every game, that wasn’t a problem though because Choi Seungcheol was a beast when he was in game mode. His aim was the best on the whole team, he’d never missed a goal. 

Obviously today was an off day.

“You’re staring, Cheol.” Jeonghan gives him a hearty slap on the back. “You really like our school mascot don’t you?” All Seungcheol can do is nod, watching as Seungkwan helps you up.

He really wants to go over and say sorry for nearly knocking you out with his kick but he can’t. Not because he doesn’t want to but because he simply can’t. It’s stupid really. Choi Seungcheol, star player of the football team, can’t say two words when he’s faced with you. He’s tried speaking to you. Once after a game, not the best choice because he’d become so nervous he spilt his water bottle all over you. Even after you told him it was fine he was still stuttering his words. Another time he’d managed to catch you walking down the hallway. The moment you smiled and said ‘hi’ his mind blanked. No words could come out of his mouth and he stood there gaping like a goldfish.

Talking to girls was easy for Seungcheol. He could give them a smile and they’d be fawning all over him. You were different. There isn’t one time he’s had a full conversation with you with nothing embarrassing happening. He’d stumble over his words or nothing would come out of his mouth. The only thing that kept him from giving up was the fact you would grin every time he came up to you and he didn’t like giving up.

“Of course I like her!” Seungcheol runs a hand through his hair. “I just don't know what to do?”

“You could ask her out.”

“I can’t!” 

His friend arches an eyebrow, clearly puzzled. "What do you mean you can't ask her out? Like you're scared, or you don't know how to, because those two are completely different things." Jeonghan's tone is gentle but probing, urging Seungcheol to confront the root of his hesitation.

“That’s not it. I’ve got everything planned out. I know what to say and I know where I want to bring her to. There’s a whole plan in my notebook, it’s coloured in and everything!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Seungcheol fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “Whenever I go up to her to ask her out my throat closes and I can’t find the right words. Or when I try to even write my confession, my hand freezes and no letters can be written. It’s even worse because I manage to make a fool of myself whenever I’m in front of her!” He kicks the football away.

Jeonghan sighs, staring at Seungcheol as he aimed a perfect kick to the goal. The boy was completely enamoured by you. Practically the whole school knew about his crush on you. Everyone was just waiting for the day the both of you would come in hand in hand. 

//

“Y/n, oh my god! Are you okay?” Seungkwan was shaking you by your shoulders. You rub your head. That football was really hard. Who knew air could hurt you? “How many fingers am I holding up?” He waves three fingers around and your eyes struggle to adjust to his trembling hand.

“Calm down. I just got hit in the head, I don’t have a concussion or anything.” You just know there’s going to be a huge bump on your forehead tomorrow. “It’s partly Stuart’s fault.” You pat the dragon costume you had on. The fuzzy green body was heavy and the long swishy tail at the back was quite annoying to lug around.

"Why are you blaming our mascot? Stuart did nothing wrong," Seungkwan interjects, shooting a pointed glare at Seungcheol. "Star player my ass." He mutters under his breath, clearly unimpressed.

“Hey, don’t blame him. I’m sure it was an accident.” You give Seungcheol a little smile and an ‘okay’ sign to tell him everything was fine. 

“I can’t believe you like that dumbass, he can’t string two sentences together when he’s in front of you.” Seungkwan helps you up, handing you Stuart’s head. You dust off the dirt on your costume. 

What was there not to like about Choi Seungcheol? He was popular, athletic, smart and talented in everything. Not to mention he was the literal definition of eye candy. There hadn’t been many occasions where you two had met. He’d always stutter helplessly or his cheeks would resemble a fire truck, which was very endearing. It was quite funny seeing him stumble over his words whenever he tried to ask you out.

“Why don’t you just ask him out? You already know he likes you, not that he makes it the most obvious thing in the world.” 

“But isn't it just the cutest thing when he tries to ask me out but he’s a stuttering blushing mess?” You giggle when you catch sight of the pout Seungcheol has on his face. “I hope he asks me out soon though, I can’t wait to finally go on a date with him.” 

The smile you shoot at Seungcheol has him tripping over his feet, face planting into the ground. Suppressing your laughter behind your hand, you watch as he hurriedly picks himself up, only to see his teammates rolling on the floor with amusement.

“How long are you even willing to wait?”

“As long as it takes.”

#choi seungcheol #seungcheol x reader #seungcheol fluff #scoups x reader #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #choi seungcheol x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #svt imagines #svt fluff #seungcheol imagines #scoups fluff #scoups imagines #scoups x you #seventeen scoups #seventeen #seungcheol scenarios

[yeslordmyking]

"Be you, at least for once..."

Like always, it's like he knows exactly what I'm going through and knows all the things I want to hear.

He's been through so much pain...

And now I can't give him my support to make it better anymore.

I wish I'd known you were something I had to lose. To choose to get rid of even though you make me smile 🥺

I feel gutted. But... I can't love anything more than God. No idols before me... May it please the Lord. May all our pain please the Lord. Eventually. Somehow. 💔

#if only i could jackson... 😭😭😭 #if only our natural human selves wasn't wired to offend and betray God. if only the things that feel good were right #if only even... things like liking and seeing the good in other people who are just sinners like me wasn't smth i needed to stop #because i will always love you and see something beautiful in you even if i never let myself be a fan of and enjoy anything ever again #everything you're saying about knowing myself and being myself... when i know that God wants us to deny ourselves.... i.... can't #as beautiful and comforting and inspiring those words are i know i have to do what God wants instead of what i want. always #i can't trust that what i want is good for me. i have to let God show me what's actually good for me and my soul #ny 'gut feeling' could be deception of the devil and flesh. my life doesn't matter. just my soul. #i worry that our wants and dreams can replace God. i can't let that be a possibility #i hope that you're chasing things in your life that God has placed in your path. i worry about you just like you worry about your fans #that's why i can't make myself stop praying over you no matter how much i convince myself that it's dumb or a waste of time #because.... because i think i love you too. whether i really do or not who knows. i hope i really do love you jackson #maybe i'm not allowed to love you the way i want. maybe not in the way the world understands love and support. but I'm trying to love you #and I'm trying to let you go and let God do what I'll never even be able to fathom for your life and your soul. i don't want to let go #I've let go of everything about myself. it's all still there but i don't engage in it anymore. you're still there #clearly me posting this is proof that i'm a failure to die for God and give Him full control without involving myself #you helped me believe that i didn't have to do this to myself. to kill my dreams and everything in my heart to be an empty vessel for God #i wish my heart would let itself believe your words again. would let me believe it was ok to love you #if it's wrong to hold you in my heart despite trying to stop then i pray God has mercy on me on the day of judgment #because i still love you. and i don't understand why i should stop loving someone i see pieces of God #i can't stop loving you because i don't have faith that God's got you. I've seen it. maybe. I've convinced myself that God is in your life #I've convinced myself that i care this deeply about a complete celebrity stranger so i could convince myself of anything i want to believe #i wish i could convince myself that.... nevermind. i just had to vent and cry over another beautiful thing that i'm losing #i want to stay. i want to be part of your loved ones that you support. would God ever allow it? would i recognize it if He did? #take care of my beautiful Jackson. Your beautiful creation Jackson. please #no matter if i never know about it. I'm trying to get better so i can get to Heaven. i want to see Jackson there too #jackson wang you are my only true love #my baby boo #super secret fanfirl queue #i'll probably delete this later

[crazy4leclerc]

i can fix him (no really i can) — m.v.

The Tortured Drivers Department Series

pairing: fratboy!boxer!max verstappen x fem!reader

summary: you’re a bit too confident you can fix the stubborn boxer — max verstappen

warnings: angst, swearing, max being a stubborn lil bitch, dom!max?, and kissing

a/n: making a series called the tortured drivers department !!

—

never in my life did i think i would ever be watching an illegal boxing match, but here i am in this musty underground ring watching max beat the shit out of every opponent that dares to step foot in the ring.

"he is a beast out there!" charles yells to me over the roaring of the crowd, "i know, it's unbelievable!" i exclaim.

me and charles are standing in the front row, watching as another opponent steps in the ring. i bite on my fingers nervously watching as they circle eachother in the ring.

suddenly, the guy takes a swing at max, which max dodges and smirks devishly at his opponent.

"please tell me this is the last match." i ask charles and he nods his head yes. i sigh out in relief because i don't know how much longer i can continue to watch max’s life be in danger.

a gasp escapes me as i watch the opponent take a upper cut right into max's jaw. max stumbles backwards into the rope, gripping onto it as his opponent stands in the middle of the ring while the crowd goes crazy.

"that's the first time someone has laid a finger on max in months." charles confesses next to me, "oh my god, i don't think i can watch this anymore." i say before i turn around to walk out of the roaring arena.

charles didn't stop me and i'm glad he didn't. he knew this was my first time ever coming to a match and i worry too much about max to watch him get hurt without me running over to him.

running my hand over my face and sighing, i make my way into max's locker room, thankfully i remembered where it was. i throw my purse on the nearby bench and taking a seat. i put my head in my hands trying to even figure out why max wants to do any of this, putting his life into danger because it's fun? because he gets paid?

mine and max's relationship was weird. we weren't dating yet but we also weren't just friends. i think we both decided that we were together just no labels without confirming. me and max met outside of a bar a couple months ago when i found him slumped on the sidewalk, nose bleeding and a black eye forming. the caring person that i am, of course i went to go check on him, which then lead to where we are now.

i should have known the day i found him beat up that i was getting myself wrapped up in a troubled man, but i really couldn't help myself. today was the first time he invited me to one of his matches since i finally demanded answers from him of why he would always visit me with bloodied and bruised knuckles. i remember the night he explained everything to me.

taking me out of my thoughts, charles walks in the locker room, "i figured you would be in here. the match is over, max should be back here any minute."

"oh thank god, is he okay?" charles his head, "yes, he is all good and he won.” i sigh out in relief as the man himself walks in.

i jump up from the bench and rush over to him, throwing my arms around his neck, "i was worried sick about you!" maxs' arm wraps around my waist, squeezing me back.

"i'm alright, sweetheart." he says and lets go of me and tosses his gloves on the bench.

"is there a reason you're still lurking, charles?" i watch as charles eyes widen at max and mumbled out a 'sorry' as he walks out the locker room, leaving me and max alone.

max takes a seat on the bench and i hear him hiss out in pain. "max you really shouldn't be doing this anymore, i hate seeing you like this." i say as i walk over to him and slot my way in between his thighs.

"i get your concern, schat, but this is what i want to do." he huffs out, beginning to untape his bloodied knuckles, "here, let me."

i grab his hand gently and slowly unpeel the tape off, i feel max grip the back of my thighs, pulling me closer as he hisses out in pain.

"i know it hurts, im sorry." i try my best to comfort him as he winces in pain. it makes my heart ache seeing him in pain like this knowing this is what he likes to do.

"can you just- c'mere." he huffs out and pulls me down into his lap. my cheeks flushed at the action, "this is better. i like having you close." he murmurs to me as i begin to work on his other hand.

"i need to doctor your hands and then i need to check out your jaw." i tell him sternly and he grips my hips, "no, you don't need to do all that, you know i'm fine." i roll my eyes at him as i stand up from his lap, getting out of his grip.

"max, you need to take this serious. i'm tired of seeing your hands all beat up every week and seeing bruises on your body. charles told me tonight was the first night anyone has hit you in months. you always refuse to just let me help you and doctor up the cuts and i don't understand why, just let me fix you." i confess and he just sits there, eyes refusing to meet mine as i stand in front of him.

i reach out to grab his bloodied hand, "max, please? can you just listen-" he catches me off guard as he stands up quickly, now towering over me. his eyes bore into mine as his hand reaches up and grabs my jaw, he tilts my head up and whispers,

"i don't need fixing, sweetheart."

i reach up to grab his hand but i'm too late when he rips his hand away from my face, walking around me to the bathroom, leaving me standing alone.

"max, c'mon. don't be like this. i have yet to complain about you being too stubborn to let me help you but you can't just try to push me away now that i'm opening up about it. you know i just want to help." i say as i watch max yank his shirt over his head, "me? stubborn? no baby, i never asked for your help so i don't need it."

i cross my arms and audibly groan out in frustration. "are we seriously arguing over me being concerned for your well-being?"

i hear him chuckle as i watch his strip to his boxers, "who said we were arguing? why don't you come in here and let me fuck the frustration out of you?" he taunts me and i scoff at him.

"we aren't solving this with sex, max." he shrugs as i watch him strip his boxers off, smirking at me, "your loss, schat."

i roll my eyes as at him as he turns the shower on, stepping in.

"i'm just going to ask charles to take me home!" i exclaim but i hear max laugh, "your funny, he's already left. i'm your only ride unless you want to walk home." sitting back down on the bench, i face away from the open door of the bathroom and try to calm myself down while max showers.

what am i even doing? trying to fix a broken man? a man that refuses to recieve any form of help? a man that beats the shit out of others for money and because he likes it? what the actual hell am i doing.

"still mad at me?" i jump at the sound of his voice and how close it is. but i don't respond.

i stare at the ground as i can feel max walking over to stand in front of me.

"look at me." i snap my eyes up to meet his, refusing to look anywhere else even though his chest was twinkling in the light from the water.

"y'know i apprciate you, baby?" he questions me, "i feel like you don't, i just want to help you-"

"and i know you do, but you need to understand that i don't need help. there is no changing me. there is no fixing me, and that is something you need to get through that pretty head of yours if you want to be with me. got it?" i sigh out and stand up as max reaches out to me, grabbing my face in his big hands, "do you got it, leifje."

"yes." i say and he smiles at me, "that's my girl." patting my cheek, he pulls away and gets dressed. "now since we established there is no fixing one another, what do you think about being my girlfriend, hm?"

i stand there, frozen at his words, "girlfriend?" i repeat back and he hums. "me? you want me to be your girlfriend?" he laughs at my dumbfoundness and walks over to me, grabbing my waist as he sits down, pulling me into his lap.

"yes, you y/n, will you be a good girl and take the honors of being my girlfriend?" i cup his face in my hands and pull him in as we meet in a searing kiss.

"yes, i'll be your girlfriend, max." i whisper in the kiss and he smirks, pulling my hips closer, "and i will be your boyfriend."

meeting in another kiss, signifing our now relationship with labels, even though i couldn't fix him now, doesn't mean i won't stop trying in the future.

#nat writes #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen smut #formula 1 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 imagine #charles leclerc #mv1 #mv1 x reader

[emismunch]

Abbys reaction to you telling her how hot she is while making out: "you're so hot I can't stand it it drives me crazy." - maybe the first time or one of the first times

all my love is free | abby anderson

tags: eighteen+, lesbians obsessed with each other, had to post during lesbian visibilty week like c'mon???, just a big bag of fluff packaged with light steam, abby being a nervous goofball, sfw with suggestive themes.

an. sorry i kind of disappeared with posts. new collab is taking over my brain. but wanted to at least post something. can't wait for y'all to get a taste. until then, i'll be finishing the requests in my inbox (hopefully). with all the love, ray.

the end of your first date with abby marks a colossal milestone, especially for the two of you. the moment almost seemed monumental. taking one year of abby’s pining, six months of flirting and six months of tiptoeing while you were with someone else. respectfully, waiting until a month after the breakup, she asks you out.

unimaginable expectations abby had before going into tonight, but all she had to offer it seems was her nerves. god, she was acting like a dumb, mumbling, dork tonight. saying the first thought coming to mind, but it makes you laugh. when abby nearly eats it on the sidewalk, tripping over a crack of grout in the cement. your soft angelic voice taking her out for a moment, the only thing centering her from having a meltdown. 

“baby, are you alright? be careful, honey.” there it is, angelic. “wouldn’t want you to fall.” the first pet names hurled her way by you, making her heartbeat faster than she could keep up with. you cut her off at her knees, ensuring you are the only person she could ever want.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

it’s pretty obvious who was in control the entire night. if the two of you are friends, this night has a year of expectations, hopes, goals to meet and abby felt like she was failing. deeply.

as she walks you up to the front door, she knows the only thing she accomplished was letting you down. nothing went the way she thought it was going to. everything felt off. worst of all, your silence snuffs her out, completely.

you grab her hands, pulling her up the stairs with you. the collar feels too hot, tense, off. delicate fingers playing with the collar before you unclasp the buttons, keeping down before you move to her chest, placing your hand on abby’s inconsistent heartbeat.

“can i? s’tense, need you to loosen up for me. alright?” abby nods, accepting you can read her like the back of your hand. she just doesn’t want you to stop touching her. “get out of this head of yours. s’just me and you, no one else.” your nimble fingers pop the first three buttons, revealing her freckled chest, dipping into her sternum, giving you a delicious preview. she takes a deep breath, and you believe it’s the first one she’s allowed herself since she showed up with a bouquet of flowers in hand. 

“‘m sorry, i didn’t mean to ruin tonight. i just— it’s you. y’know? i’ve never wanted someone like this. been friends for ages and this is just everything. you are everything. i’ll never live with myself if i let you slip through my fingers.” her heartbeat calms under your touch the longer abby speaks, bringing a warmness to your own. “don’t worry about all of it. you’re not going to. i won’t let you.” 

“okay.” abby says as she gets lost in the light in your eyes. the fire visible behind yours. the way she’s looking at you? fuck. unimaginable desire — all for you. it almost seems too good to be true. like you don’t deserve it. waiting for the pin to drop, all the misery drowning you with it. “did you have a good time tonight?” 

“yes baby, i did.” you smirk as she inches forward, closing you into your front door. back pressed against it, her small breasts pressed to your chest, her free hand extended, next to your head as it lays flat on the door.

“s’good. wouldn’t want to kiss you if the date was bad.” all the confidence is back. the abby who flirted with you shamelessly for months on end. knowing you’re happy is enough for her. it’s all she needs to know to let the loser in her fall to ashes. but you taking the reins for a moment, does something so visceral inside her. she nearly doesn’t know how to act until her instincts kick in. 

she’ll satisfy you — just in the way she knows how. 

“what are y—” abby pressed her body weight into you, strong hips pinning you against the door using one of her hands to pin both of yours above your head. you’re whimpering, signaling your shock but the whine omitting from your lips tells abby your pussy is shocked. soaked.

“doing what i should have done months ago.” her pink plump lips meet yours, taking complete control over you. but you welcome it with open arms. she grunts in your mouth causing you to gasp as abby’s tongue enters your mouth. massaging it with yours in a swift battle for dominance. 

it’s too much but also not enough. you’re grinding against her, your crotch kissing hers as you lift a leg, wrapping it around her waist. she continues kissing you like her entire life depends on it. not letting you feel anything but her. she’ll be your everything and you’re not leaving until you understand it just as much as her. “abs—” you mumble in her mouth, abby relinquishes the tight grip on her hands.

immediately your hands are woven in her hair. tugging at the golden hair, as you try to pull her closer to you, if it was even possible. but the two of you have to come up for air, abby the first one to break as she chuckles at both of your heaving chests. 

“fuck, you’re so hot, baby. can’t stand it.” you peck her lips softly. admiring how puffy and swollen they look from her ministrations. god, you want her to devour you once again. “‘m, drives me crazy.” you admit, taking in the intoxicating smirk on her face. you’re not made into a fumbling mess easily. the both of you know it. that’s how abby knows it in her bones, she has you. fuck, she can’t ever imagine letting go. 

#hi again #my abby lovers !!! #hope you like this one :') #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x masc reader #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x poc #wlw x reader #tlou x reader #lesbian #wlw post

[ohcorny]

so! it's been a year since i put never satisfied on hiatus, and 9 years since i started posting it, and rather than make you read everything if all you want to know is "when's it coming back?" the answer is still: don't know! but the answer has also shifted closer to "it isn't" the longer i've spent on break, and i think it's worth being up front about that.

i talked about it a little here a few weeks ago, but the long and short of it is that between taking on better paying work, writing better stories, and looking back at what i'd already done for never satisfied... i just don't think i want to continue it? the year off has been incredibly good for my mental health, and i can't see myself wanting to go back after the two-three years still ahead of me on my current project. that's not to say i never want to return to the characters or the concept, but if i did, i imagine it would be with something completely new, in a different form. after all, i started this comic when i was 21 years old, a lesbian, and a sophomore in college. i am now just shy of 30, a bi man, and overall a completely different person than i was, back when i was writing without a plan and putting all of my insecurities into the comic--insecurities i don't identify with anymore. lord i'm closer to rothart's age than i am to lucy's. hate that

anyway. you have all been extraordinarily kind for following never satisfied for as long as you have, for supporting it as much as you have, and being as patient as you have. whatever form never satisfied takes in the future (god willing, with a more cohesive story structure and A PLAN FOR THE ENDING, WHICH BY THE WAY I NEVER, EVER HAD) i hope to see you there!

in the meantime, as an update on where i'm at with the thing that made me stop working on NS: i finished it! all the pages for Hunger's Bite (if you remember it with a different title: no you don't) have been turned in and now it's just revisions and covers and then........ waiting a year until it can come out. because that's how it is in traditionally published graphic novels! nothing releases for a full year after you finished it! and you're even getting it earlier than was originally planned, because i'm a creature and finished it like three months ahead of schedule. i've also already started thumbnailing the sequel book which i can't talk about whatsoever and will now be working on that for the next two years and then HOPEFULLY the first book will have done well enough that i can sell a third! so you better buy it when it comes out next february!!!!!!

to ease you all into it, i wanted to do a little crossover to introduce the main characters. we have emery, whose design is fully and unintentionally just Seiji Again down to his color palette (but seiji would bully him if they met. like so hard. he's a wimp). then we have neeta, a girl who dreams of travel and cares deeply about worker's rights, and wick, a vampire agent investigating the mysterious and sinister new owner of the 1910s ocean liner emery and neeta call home. he's also gay. but sorry lucy, you aren't his type. you're not mean enough.

the best place to keep up with me these days is probably here, as this first book gets closer to release, i will probably be posting about it a lot. and i will certainly post about it here when there's an official release date and cover reveal! i hope you'll go read it. i really think if you liked never satisfied and its themes, you'll like hunger's bite!

thank you again for reading!!

#corndraws #hunger's bite #never satisfied

[liesmyth]

@moscca you're right and you should say it! Here's a really great compilation of Taz quotes I've been keeping in mind

From an interview where she says that Lovecraft was one of her main inspirations, talks about her relationship with horror vs. sff as a genre author, and wanting to find relatable heroines in horror lit.

I didn’t write Gideon the Ninth for the characters—I wrote it entirely for the structure. I wanted to tell a very specific story, and I needed everything to serve that story.

I want people to realise there are no boundaries. I also want to release people from having to take their universe entirely seriously, if they don’t want to. Science fiction and fantasy reflects ourselves, our anxieties, our joys. I’m just writing to amuse myself, as per usual.

I am writing for my younger self and it would be disgusting of me to try to teach her anything.

(& other quotes from that same interview)

Although love and forgiveness aren’t necessarily the same thing either, Gideon’s frankly divine ability to forgive is a huge core of the novel. [...] Forgiveness is almost the electrical current being able to transmit through love.

The way I personally stay true to the story I started down on is to give myself permission to not teach anyone anything. [...] I know that a lot of people do take enormous pleasure and relief in lines or phrases or ideas from stories that ring true to their own lives, but it’s important for me that I tell a story and that I’m not writing Chicken Soup for the Necromantic Soul.

...the God of the Locked Tomb IS a man; he IS the Father and the Teacher; it’s an inherently masc role played by someone who has an uneasy relationship himself to playing a Biblical patriarch. John falls back on hierarchies and roles because they’re familiar even when he’s struggling not to. But the divine in the Locked Tomb is essentially feminine on multiple axes.

It seems to me that most books by anyone female-adjacent have an expectation that they will comfort the uncomfortable and discomfit the comfortable etc., whereas a guy can just tell an adventure story and be done with it. This ties in with an idea that I think nowadays that good art is moral and bad art is immoral: i.e. if a story is good it must somehow be beautiful on the moral scale. We go looking for why the art we love is moral even if the art we love is a donut.

#gathering quotes for the ask in my inbox lol #tamsyn muir #tlt thoughts #on writing #i want to get drunk with her so bad. what a mind #elle tlt posting

[resi4skz]

Title: My Nerdy Girl

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Warning: smut, fingering, kissing, hard thoughts, horny chan, all the shebang

MDNI !!!

You know when you're the most popular guy in college and have girls asking for your phone number? And when you politely reject them because you have a huge crush on your good friend who also happens to be one of your classmates in one of your classes?

Yeah. That's me. I'm currently looking at her eat her lunch, sitting across from her best friend, Luna, who happens to be the girlfriend of my best friend, Han. Luna and Han met because of Y/N last year, during Han's birthday. Now, that was a fun day, even if it did end with Han and Luna going at it in a closet. Good thing no one interrupted them.

Right. Back to my point about Y/N. I don't know what it is about her. I feel attracted to her. I find her cute. Endearing. And the clothes, she's always wearing baggy clothes and it has made my mind to not shut up about the filthy images I've had and been having. Now, I'm not going to deny that I have eye fucked her many times because one could only imagine what's behind all those clothes. And those glasses she wears. Something about her being a nerd makes me want to scream her name every night with my hand down my pants. I've lost count of how many times I've jerked off to her.

"Bro, just tell her already," Han says, munching on snacks.

"Remind me why you're here instead of with your girlfriend?"

"Annoyed much?" He gives me a look.

"Much."

He throws a popcorn at me which I catch with my mouth. "I can't tell her."

"Why not?"

"Because. It's Y/N. I don't want to ruin our friendship," I replied, sighing as I sit in my chair. "Fuck, I want her so bad."

"Ugh," Han groans, rolling his eyes. "Why do I have to do everything myself?" I watch as he fishes out his phone and types something.

"What are you doing?"

"Just so you know," he says putting his phone down. "I'm only doing this because you're like my bro but just this once. The rest is on you." He gets up, pats my back and leaves giving me a peace sign.

What just happened?

------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck me. That's her? She follows the waiter to where our table is. Oh my god. She's wearing a black dress that goes to her mid thighs and she paired it up with suede high knee boots and beige cardigan. If it's one thing that makes me turn feral, it's women wearing black.

Correction: it's Y/N wearing black. And no glasses??

Fuck.

How am I going to survive this date?

As she approaches the table, I stand up pulling the chair out for her. "Thank you," she says as she takes a seat.

"My pleasure."

My pleasure indeed.

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We're both laughing as we walk side by side by the river. "No, you're telling me that Luna is Han's first girlfriend?" She asked, laughing.

"And the only one from the looks of it," I replied.

How I never knew she would be this fun to be with, I would have made a move much sooner. She places her hand on the railing in front of her, leaning against it as she sighs, looking at the river below us. "It's so pretty."

I glance at her, not being able to take it anymore. So I cage her in from the back, putting my hands on either side of her. I feel her stiffen as I lean in near her ear. "Very pretty. Like you."

She turns her head and her cheeks turn pink realizing the sudden close proximity we're in. Her eyes travel down to my lips then to my eyes. "So pretty," I whisper as I lean in towards her parted lips. "May I?" When she nods, I waste no time. I have dreamt of kissing this woman and to finally be able to do it doesn't even compare to my dreams.

I pull back, our breaths heavy. "Fuck, Y/N. Is it safe to say that I like you?"

She chuckles, fully turns around and wraps her arms around my neck. "Yes, because I like you too. Now kiss me."

"Fuck yes," I say and crash my lips on her. She tastes like cherries. But I break the kiss too soon. She chases my lips but I stop her, gazing into her lustful eyes. "Do you wanna come over at my place?"

She blinks at me, and I can see cogs turning in her brain. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe this was too soon. I just want her so bad and I haven't been this fucking hard ever. As I slowly let her go, she fists my shirt yanking me back. I blink down at her, surprised. "Yes."

The ride to my apartment was....let's say it wasn't the best. I had to put all my focus on driving and going above the speed limit was an understatement. The amount of times I just wanted her to climb over and have her way with me.

Fuck.

I'm doomed.

And the fact that my apartment was on the eighth floor. The elevator ride, I couldn't take it anymore. I pushed Y/N against the wall, my face in the crook of her neck, drinking in her scent. I wanted to memorize it. She let out a moan as I sucked on her pulse point, making her whimper. My hands slither around her waist, travelling lower to grip both of her cheeks in my palms, pulling her closer to my body. I felt her arms wrap around my neck, tilted her head to the side for me to gain more access to skin.

I hooked her leg on my hip as my left hand went up her thigh, going beneath her dress to give her ass a tight grip. The material of my jeans rubbed against her clothed clit, and that was enough to set me into overdrive. "Chan..." Y/N whimpered as I sucked on her neck.

I wish I could listen to her whimpers and moans any day of the week. And every night, if she were up to it.

When I finally pulled away, I took a moment to stare at her dead in the eyes before leaning down to smash my lips to hers. She matched my energy as her hands travelled to my hair, her fingers raking through my black locks. Her small whimpers and moans spurred me on, her tongue swirled around mine and my cock grew hard at the sensation.

The dinging of the elevator brought me back to reality as I stepped back and we both walked off the machine. Her giggles are my favorite so far, as I pressed her against the wall, licking and biting along her neck as we tried to walk to my apartment. When we arrived, her hand intertwining with mine, I used my key to unlock the door and allowed Y/N to walk inside first. But as soon as the door closed, she was on me and I moaned into her mouth as I softly slammed her against the nearest wall.

Sliding my hands around her hips, I hoisted Y/N in my arms as her legs wrapped around my torso. Yet again, our lips moved in sync, never leaving, but quickly deepened as I walked over to my room. Upon entering, I head straight for the bed, Y/N’s back hits the soft mattress as I dive right back to her neck as hands fisted my hair giving it a light tug. "Fuck, do that again." She blinks twice before tugging at my hair, making my mind go fuzzy, unable to think straight. In return, I gripped her thigh and pulled it up a bit, lifting her thighs as I grind my hips against hers.

Y/N moaned and grinds her hips back, her covered sensitive clit, giving her the right amount of friction. She squirmed beneath me as the wetness of her panties became uncomfortable. I kissed her deeply, pausing briefly to strip out of her dress, leaving her in her black thong. "No bra?" I asked, blinking at her perky breasts to which her cheeks turns pink. I admired her body, staring at every curve and dip in her skin, running my hands up and down her frame. "Fuck. You're gorgeous."

She had swollen lips as her chest rose and fell with each breath and I trailed my lips down her body. Starting at Y/N's neck, nibbling down her collarbone to the dip of her breasts, making sure to suck her sensitive buds. She moaned, once again running her fingers through my hair and pulling my face closer. Smiling into the kiss, I was starting to love hearing her moan and could listen to them all day. Heck, if it was up to me, I would want to keep her beneath the sheets, under me.

I continued trailing my tongue down the her torso. When I got to her black panties, I look up, and she nods for me to continue. I reached up and peeled the black item of clothing down her legs, throwing it behind me as it joins with the rest of of our clothing.

Pushing her legs open, I run my fingers through her folds before slipping my middle finger into her. “Such a pretty cunt.”

Her cheeks turn pink at the compliment. I watch as her back arches as I thrust my finger inside, knuckle deep, exploring her soft walls.

"Fuck, Channie.” she moaned, closing her eyes in pleasure.

I hovered over her lips as my fingers slowly worked in and out of her. She kept arching and writhing as I continued, mouth wide open as she let out silent moans.

“I can feel you tightening already.” But as I added a second finger, she couldn't contain herself. Her moans spilled out of her like she was a pornstar. Even when I kissed her, nothing stopped the volume she was outputting. “Fuck, I can't wait to fuck you."

Her walls clamp down on my fingers and I silently cursed at myself for not doing this sooner. “Channie…please…” The moans that escaped her mouth as they bounced off my room's walls. If the neighbors complain, I wouldn't give a fuck.

“Please, what?” I smirked watching her come undone at my pleasure. “I can’t hear you, baby.” I started moving my fingers faster in and out of her tight wet cunt that I had been dreaming about. I smile hearing her beg and plead. Gazing up at her lustfully, I smirk before taking her by surprise by leaning down and latching my mouth on her clit. She lets out a muffled moan, making me come up to see her biting the back of her hand.

Something came over me and I swat her ass cheek, making her yelp. "I want to hear you." She draws her hand back as I go back to my first mission and groan at the taste of her juices as they run down my chin. I hear her gasp before her hand grips the back of my head, fisting my hair and then pushes me deeper into her sopping pussy. "You taste so fucking good.”

“Don’t fucking stop,” Y/N moaned, as I run my fingers over her sensitive nub. “I’m so close.”

I couldn't say no to her so I grabbed the back of her knees, pushed her legs towards her chest, and began to devour her. I ran my tongue through her already soaking pussy before sticking it inside of her. Her thighs started shaking as I feel her first orgasm of the night approaching. And it was coming fast. "Cum on my face, baby. Can you do that for me?"

Her walls clenched around my fingers. She moaned my name as her orgasm hit her hard, she closed her thighs around my head as the aftershocks flowed through her body. I trailed kisses up her chest, sucking her sensitive nubs again before smashing my lips to hers.

As I shed my pants and boxers, I felt her watching me and saw her eyes widen at my rock hard cock. I quickly grabbed a condom, teared the corner of the foil with my teeth before putting it on. "Ready?" When she gives me a nod, I hover over her as I aligned myself at her enterance. She cries out as I slide in, all at once. I wanted to move and ruin her under my spell. But the look on her face made me stop. "Are you okay?"

She nods, opening her eyes. "I didn't expect you to be this big."

I laugh. "You've got a smart mouth. I wonder what else it can do."

"Why don't you find out?"

Fuck me. Drawing myself back, I thrust my cock inside her and threw her head back, arching her back as her walls pulsated wildly around me. “So fucking tight…” I hissed as I speed up the pace to the point where I'm hammering into her. Her glistening neck had me going crazy as I licked and nibbled at a spot and mumbled how she felt around me. She felt so tight, so warm, just right. “Babygirl, is this good? Do you want me to go harder, faster?”

I slowed down when she didn't respond, making her whine. I didn't want to pull out because I had wanted to be inside, nice and snug in her warmth. She was stretching well to my size, much to my surprise.

“Channie, if you don't fuck me in the next 5 seconds, I'm leaving you with blue balls,” Y/N stated, eyes glazed over with lust, and her cheek flushed.

"You asked for it," I said as I grabbed her hips and slammed my hips against her at an ungodly speed. She looked so sexy, so good, and willing to take what I had to offer. Fuck, her fucked out appearance was beyond my dreams. My thumb rubbed her sensitive clit making her mewl out loud.

“Oh, are you sensitive?” She nodded at my question. "I'm going to have so much fun with this later on but right now, I need you to come on my cock," I grunted, leaving a hickey on her neck.

“Ahhh…no wait…” She squirmed beneath me, and her hand went to grab my wrist. "Chan, ah, fuck, please." I noticed how she didn’t pull my hand away despite her pleads.

I could feel her walls clenching down around me. “Sorry baby,” I breathed out as the pressure in my balls kept rising. “You’re just too perfect for me."

“Fuck, Channie,” She came with a cry. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her body convulsing as she held me close.

I wasn't far behind. “Oh, fuck. I'm gonna cum. You're gonna make me cum. Fuck, fuck, I'm cumming.” I stilled as the hot sticky cum painted the inside of Y/N's tight cunt.

Our heavy breaths filled the room, bouncing off the walls as I blinked down at her, catching my breath. I pressed my lips to hers as her hands ran down my back. "You okay?"

"Yes," she nods, smiling.

"Wait here," I pull out when I've gone soft and retrieve a small towel from the bathroom. As I cleaned her off, her hand grabs mine and I glance up. "What is it? Are you hurt? Was I too rough?"

She giggles. Oh, I love her giggles. "I'm okay, Channie. In fact, I don't think I can walk." She grins and asks, "So does this mean I'll see you again?"

I smile. "Oh, you'll definitely be seeing me again. Because I intend on seeing you outside of my room." I laugh when she hits my arm playfully. "Y/N. You're mine."

She smiles, beaming at me. "I'm yours."

Settling down in the bed next to her, she snuggles up to me as I wrap my arm around her, kissing her forehead. It doesn't take too long for her to falls asleep, making me smile. "Goodnight, babygirl. Sweet dreams."

A/N: i dont know what to do with myself now.....

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