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jpitha · 1 year

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Late, late at night on the Human/K'laxi Starbase. Long after most everyone has gone to bed. The shops are shut, even the bars and dance clubs have turned their last tipsy patrons towards home.

The main promenade on the way to the Commons is dark, and quiet.

Linaren the K'laxi stands nervously at one end of the promenade. In his hands are a case holding his paints, brushes and applicators, K'laxi safe solvents and his idea.

Across the Human/K'laxi Sarbase, and in fact in nearly all human Starbases, Art is promoted, encouraged, and loved. Human starships are all decorated, painted in wild colors and patterns. Human pressure suits are decorated, human spaces are decorated. When the humans came to the Starbase, they brought their institution of public art with them.

Anyone can pick an open area on the walls, floors or ceilings of the Starbase that isn't already painted on and isn't used for infrastructure, security or other essential needs to decorate. They can decorate in any way that suits them. Most people paint, but people have yarnbomed, put up textural mixed media pieces and even sound and light installations.

If everyone likes your art, it stays up. If they don't, you get to keep it up for a week and then the next person who applied to use the space gets their turn. In some parts of the Starbase, the art changes weekly, in others, it has never changed. Crowded and popular locations like the promenade, commons and docking bay have a near constant rotation of art with some special and much loved pieces staying in place.

Linaren put in his request to Starbase yesterday and was surprised when it was approved almost immediately. He wasn't asked to provide any drafts or drawings of what he was going to do. Just where he wanted to apply his art. In his approval Starbase pointed out that due to his choice of location, his best chance would be to do it after most everyone went to sleep.

"I want to paint a mural on the floor of the promenade, right at the entrance from the docking bay." was all he wrote in his request.

Now, here he was, paint in hand, nobody around.

He got to work.

He had bee thinking about his idea for weeks, months. He tried out different paints on panels in his room, trying to see how the color of the panel would bleed though and tone the work. He brought the colored panels with him to the promenade and looked how they appeared under the lights and windows at different times of day.

Once he got started, the art flowed from his arms. He was barely a part of it. It was as if it was already there, he was just making it appear.

“Do the humans feel like this when they make art?” He thought as he worked. “Do they have these feelings of exhilaration and anxiety, of fun and worry, all blended together?”

All in all, it took Linaren nearly 5 hours to finish. Except stopping for a sip of water, or to stand up and make sure he was going in the right direction, he painted the entire time.

When he was done, he applied sealant and the accelerator so that it could be walked upon, and before the first shopkeepers came to open their stores he left.

As people streamed in, they stopped and stared at Lin's work. Everyone was amazed to see what showed up, practically instantly.

It was a massive, abstract piece titled “thoughts of home.”

It was a riot of color, high contrast, bright tones, sweeping lines and bold blacks meant to make the viewer think about what Home meant to them.

It was nearly the entire width of the promenade and a third of its length, it was by far the largest piece on Starbase.

Lin’s piece was the talk of the Starbase.

Lin was the talk of the Starbase. He hadn't signed it, but he did apply for permission to paint it, so Starbase knew who did the work, but nobody else did.

"Lin?" Starbase queried later that day. "Lin, everyone loves your work. they want to know more about you and what you did,"

Lin dropped the pad he was holding. "They...what?" he whispered.

"Lin, everyone loves your art. They want to talk to you about it."

"No" he whispered "No, I don't want to. It was just something I did. Something I needed to do. It's not anything special."

"Lin, it is special. You are special. Everyone loves it."

"I'm not an artist!" He said, his ears flat. "I just painted something."

"Lin, that is what an artist does." Starbase said kindly. "It's okay to be overwhelmed by the attention. It's even okay to not want to talk to anyone about it. I won't let anyone know who painted the piece if you don't want me to. But" They went on "I need you to know that you are an artist. You make art. You make art that you enjoy and honestly, that's enough. The fact that you also make art that others enjoy is an amazing bonus."

"People like it?" he said curiously.

"People love it." Starbase replied. "I've gotten no less than seventy five requests for the artist who made it, some for kudos, some for an interview and two from Captains who want to commission you."

"Commission me?"

"Yeah, they want to pay you to do a piece on on in their ships."

Lin stood in his room, looking at the wall. Getting paid to do something he liked doing anyway seemed like a good deal.

"Okay. I'll talk to them. Thanks Starbase. You always seem like you know what to say."

"Hah, thank you Lin, I appreciate that. I've just been around a long time, and have seen lots of strange and wonderful things."

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans make art #k'laxi make art #writing #sci fi writing #humans are space capybaras #humans are space oddities #worldbuilding #humans and aliens

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sakasakiii · 11 months

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Hi!

I love your work!! Your art is very pretty. Do you have a specific idea of how old everyone is ? Do you lean more towards canon or do you have your own dates in mind ? If don’t wanna a answer it’s ok!

Hope u have a nice day

(Remember to drink water!)

hiiii nonnie!!! thank you for checking in, and im happy u like the stuff i put out!! when it comes to ages, it's difficult to answer sometimes bc of the way professor tolkien's timeline is-- it makes gauging one singular place where most of the cast can be compared something that makes my tired brain go 😵🤧🤕 but i love the prompt youve given! and thus heres my attempt at it

with most of my tolkien stuff, i always try to stick to canon wherever possible emphasis is on try lmao and the topic of ages is one such place. i do make exceptions to the Professor's canon sometimes for a few reasons: 1) i like some of the scrapped ideas in his drafts, or 2) i just prefer other options. with ages, i think the only charas with canon-established ages i deviated from are fingolfin, finrod, turgon, and aredhel. i try to keep cases like these minimal tho, so i hope it doesn't bother anyone too much... 👉👈

anyways i figured just dropping a list of numbers would be kinda boring to look at so heres an illustrated guide to what the ~rough~ ages of the finweans are in my head whenever i write or draw. Y.T. 1495 (the year Finwe dies) is the controlled medium ive used to enable a fair comparison of the Finweans

note: "born Y.T. xxx" means this is the canon date of birth listed on Tolkien Gateway. "est. born [xxx]" means this is a noncanon estimate:

the First Age gets a lot more muddled from there due to the hullaballoo of everything going on, so ill only be including the doriathrim and a few other denizens of nargothrond:

it's mostly the older elves that are more undefined/vague with their ages (i.o.w. others like elwing, earendil, the peredhil twins, and most Men all have set dates of birth), so they're all i'll be doing for now. but it's that vagueness which makes hcing all the more enjoyable, isn't it! plus since we’re on this subject, under the cut are just a few headcanons and musings ive had that i wanted to put somewhere 😙

Finarfin and Earwen were born within months of each other! Finwe and Olwe made a Really Big Deal out of when they found out their wives were pregnant at the same time. As a result, the two were often sent on many playdates with each other to “bolster healthy relations” between the Noldor and the Teleri. It wasn’t an arranged marriage situation, but I like to think they were goofy for each other from the start… Resulting in the two eventually getting married as soon as they came of age, the fastest out of all of Finwe’s kids to do so.

The reason the Ambarussa are significantly younger than the other Finweans (especially the Feanorians-- there’s a 100 Valian year gap between them and Curufin alone!) is because I imagine they were accidental babies that even Feanor didn’t expect to conceive. too bad morgoth said "its morgin time!" and started Messing Things Up shortly afterwards.....

Anaire was Lalwen's good friend long before she married Fingolfin; they met through Lalwen who wingmanned Fingolfin the whole time. i like think Anaire'd be the best out of all the wives at keeping good, healthy bonds with all the women of her family :DD

luthien's potential 姐姐/big sis dynamic with all the younger doriathrim elves is something i daydream about a lot 😌 but sometimes the fact that she's older than finarfin keeps me up at night

this has been really fun, so thanks again for asking-- annnd yessir, i am chugging water as i write this so you better be doing the same ❤️ have a great start to your week!

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lemonisntreal · 1 year

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Do you have a Tone Deaf version of Clay Calloway?

(Perfectly fine if you don't. I was just curious, plus I love all your redesigns) 🦁🎸

SORRY THIS TOOK FUCKING FOREVER LMAO [been sitting in my inbox since FEBRUARY THIRTEENTH, HOLY SHIT :D]. YEAH, here he is :pppp a solid draft for you

Lowkey [highkey] gave up on the clothing wrinkles on the arms, but I still like how it turned out I think. I don't have much on him in terms of rewrite, but I do have some, so I'll dump it all here under the cut.

I swear I love asks, please feel free to say/ask whatever, I'm just horrible at answering in a reasonable time-frame because I always want to make it this beautiful masterpiece and end up turning all of them into full-on posts- or, at least I want to ~_~

Headcanonssss-

Ash gave him that button off her jacket [probably needs to be resized I'm realizing lol] [also I totally adopted this headcanon from someone elses post- might've been yours. Whoever came up with it I love it <3]

Born during the reformation that happened after the war- basically, nobody was really fighting anymore during this time, but some big people in power were still being stupid [aka: not letting their prisoners go]

So that would be somewhere around 1947? Which would put his age at 61 in my universe [which is in 2008- the times are pretty much random, nothing really lines up irl. Ignore how they use tech and other things that shouldn't have been invented yet lol]

He grew up when the Skunk Dolls were new and popular and stuff. And he loved them- so much that the band actually kinda inspired his music career

[Skunk Dolls also made loads of protest songs btw. War stuff]

Takes a ridiculous amount of care with his mane, and if he lets you touch it, that's a true sign of trust

So the Piglets always like to play with it, and Ash has given him braids a few times

He's had that scruffy red jacket since his early days

I should draw patches on it-

Ash probably'll give him a quill or two to put in it too with all the patches and repair stitches

He wears a lot of plaid, I just didn't wanna draw it <3

Rough and torn up clothes too

Everything he owns has some sort of smudge or tear in it from motorbiking and/or just being himself <3

His ears are pierced in almost every way imaginable, and when Ash found out, she went CRAZY

Cue her getting him to try on a bunch of stuff

He likes wrought iron jewelry and has never been a fan of anything with gemstones in it

Buster is terrified of him, but Clay is just kinda a blunt person and it doesn't mix well with Buster sometimes. They get along eventually tho. There was also some really bad timing with the circumstances of how they even met in the first place too lol-

Johnny is also. Super terrified.

Buster and him are like "Ahhh.... that guy scares the living daylights out of me." "Ohh, thank god it's not just me-"

He has a strange out-of-pocket interest in astrology.

And in herbology and plants in general, but he picked that up from Ruby. Astrology was all his, and it is the one thing he will "nerd out" over

Also the kind of guy to make fun of you for nerding out too

Making fun of people is his love language

So is giving people food

He's not great with his words and can find it hard to express love by just telling someone. Back to the bluntness thing, you can often find him accidentally offending someone and he doesn't even realize it

The troupe very quickly learned this and it's more of an endearing trait of his to them [and to most people who know him]

REALLY good cook. Fantastic, in fact. Probably one of the best chefs out of any of the characters.

Learned the hard way that enlisting Buster's help in the kitchen is a bad idea. Also Ash isn't great either, but he actually tries to teach her some of his recipes. And she's quickly improving

Buster was just being an idiot and forgot you shouldn't microwave tinfoil

Clay travels a lot, but spends most of his time in Calatonia [he technically still lives at his and Ruby's house, but he's super scared of accidentally closing himself off again, so he only visits to check up on the flowers and maintain the property pretty much]

He's like Ash's second [and very cool] dad. Which- also intimidates Buster quite a bit :D

I feel like their dynamic could be a sitcom. Clay is Ash's awesome dad and Buster is Ash's lame [endearing] and oddly unhinged and anxious dad who feels like he has to be as cool as Clay [and always fails heehee]

Clay is more entertained by Buster's ridiculous criminal record than horrified and I don't know if that's worrying or just a classic Calloway W

He's a very nonchalant person

Ruby's death is the only time I can really think he had a legitimate emotional break that wasn't just him being snappy [which is also pretty rare]

Clay's also like an uncle to the Piglets

He's kinda just taken up the role of "super awesome miscellaneous family member" for everyone at this point

He's back performing again after Sing 2- just not frequently or putting out any new songs [on his own at least- he might do a collaboration or two with Ash]

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rockybloo · 8 months

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I'm curious, who would Jack end up with if Nana didn't exist? It's kinda cursed imagining the red beans with anyone except each other

Aight so when I started Beanstalked and was fleshing out Jack, I just KNEW I wanted him to end up with somebody. He had the vibes of a character who needed somebody to be in love with. I dunno how to explain it but that farm boy was the most "bonded pair-do not separate" coded fella but he didn't have another half to be bonded with

This is gonna be a long one

SO I tried to play match maker with some Beanstalked characters. I'mma just put a list and explain each character listed and why it didn't work:

Goldilocks: Very simple reasoning which was just "She's cute and dense-he is also cute and dense". However, because it was so simple it didn't have any meat to it and I just settled on them being pals. Goldilocks eventually became Maple and Maple winded up with her girlfriend Amelia instead.

Unnamed male Red Riding Hood: I went through two designs for Little Red Riding Hood before settling on Nana on a whim, who eventually stuck. The first little red was a little girl who very much fit the expectations of the fairy tale character. Obviously-she was a child so she was never in line for romance because...ew. But the second Red was an antagonist and a wolf boy. He had very Kisshu vibes to him and was obsessed with Jack...I should state this was a character I drafted up in my early teens during my peak time of discovering yaoi so...once again no meat to it. I also just didn't like the bitch because he had no personality other than bully Jack. I eventually scrapped him. Thank god too because just thinking back to him makes me cringe.

Cinderella: So...I was basically like "Well Cinderella is a fairy tale about a peasant who winds up becoming royalty after hardship. And Jack and the Beanstalk is about a peasant who winds up becoming rich after hardship...THAT'S LIKE A PERFECT MATCH FOR SOMETHING RIGHT?" I was fuckin' wrong. I can't even remember if I had any cute interactions planned between them. I scrapped the romance for friendship. Cinderella eventually became Ashe who eventually winded up with Pinokuni and Kai. Speaking Of Pinokuni...

Pinokuni: This puppet got super fuckin' close to becoming Jack's love interest. They literally had the fun dynamic of friendship and the banter and them risking it all to keep the other happy and safe. But the thing that sunk this ship was the simple fact that Pinokuni was and still is an asshole. And Jack is a guy who needs someone who isn't so hard due to him being a sensitive fella. The dynamic of their friendship ultimately would have been healthier for the two. Plus two masculine characters having a close friendship and being comfortable with it instead of questioning their sexualities is always a breath of fresh air. Eventually, Pinokuni winded up with Ashe. I winded up discovering that Kai had a similar relationship dynamic like Jack has with Pinokuni and realized he would work romantically with Pinokuni as well and even better than Jack because Kai, while he is sensitive, isn't afraid to bully Pinokuni back. And rather than ditching Ashe x Pinokuni for Pinokuni x Kai-I just tossed Kai into the mix because Pinokuni has two hands. So does Ashe. Now all three of them are in a happy polyamorous relationship together.

Odette: I dare say her and Pinokuni tied for the closest any Beanstalked character got to holding hands with Jack. SHE WAS SO DAMN CLOSE AS WELL! She was a princess and Jack was a peasant so it was practically a fairy tale romance writing itself. Plus, she is basically a swan and Jack had and still has duck energy to him. And one of the first drawings I've ever drawn and posted of Jack was with a character who is meant to be the Ugly Ducking, who is basically Odette's little duck friend that follows her around everywhere. So there's that cute concept of him being a little wing man. But it didn't work out for the simple reason that around that time, I had gotten around to working on a new Little Red Riding Hood who was more unique and not the same Red we've seen again and again. And what was just a random shot in the dark for a design winded up becoming a character who would eventually be the Nana we all know and love. Odette eventually became Anatina. Unlike the others on this list-she didn't wind up with anyone else romantically. She got pretty close to Kai being the one but it never worked out in my head. Currently she is close friends with Charming because girl and guy best buds is another underrated thing.

I think the major reason Nana won in the end over Odette is because she was just more fun to write for when it came to interactions with Jack. Princess x Peasant is a cute dynamic but it's also very common. Which isn't a bad thing but because it's so common all the possible interactions between Jack and Odette kinda wrote themselves.

For Jack and Nana, it was free range. Especially when I realized I really liked monsters during the early days of shipping them which lead to Nana becoming a Lupine. And that made their potential interactions even more fun for me to write. There's also the added cuteness of neither of them being royalty so they didn't gain anything from being together. And over the course of developing Beanstalked, it actually winded up becoming a point of potential conflict over what they lose ending up together since they aren't part of the same story.

So I am very happy picking Red Beans in the end. I don't know where I'd be without them and I love drawing them together.

I also think it's very funny that Nana is one of the strongest Beanstalked characters AND she literally beat everyone else when it came to holding Jack's hand. She truly is powerful.

#ask #ask: beanstalked #ask: red beans #ask: jack #ask: nana #ask: maple #ask: ashe #ask: anatina #ask: pinokuni

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poupeesdecirque · 5 months

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Hobby Update.

For quite some time I have been sitting on a drafted hobby update entry, I wrote it back in October.

I took the last step this week and left one hobby space I loved for years.

I can tell 2023 was a quite difficult year for me in doll hobby terms, well, on the social side. A lot of things have changed.

For the last week, since I left the space, feel like a huge load fell off my chest, it's coincidence that a lot of things arrived this week and some orders finally came to an end, it's still on going in some cases but I can tell I feel ... free?

My close friends know I have been struggling with a lot of things in hobby terms as I am trying to care for myself more and some people were constantly poisoning my mind.

My conclusion right now is I love my creative hobbies, I don't want to end any of all but I also don't want to feel like I need to hide my decisions. I know I don't need to but being reduced to just "having a lot of" while I am using the dolls as blank canvas and learned how to sculpt my own head, learned to do face ups, to make wigs, full clothing sets, I draw, I write, I take photos, I can use my knowledge on cosplay and cosplay knowledge on the dolls. I am versatile. Also it's my way to cope with stress. I am stressed I draw, I sew, I write. Take that away from me and I will become a braindead mess.

2023 showed me that I hate certain parts of the doll community, I hate the binge & purge mindset, I hate that you are reduced to be a "content creator", I am not. I don't put out mindless stuff I pour my heart into every creation, every photo, every display, every drawing.

People have expectations of me, and I can't and won't cater their interests anymore. I got shit for so many things and I want to step away from that. Disconnecting from the community is the best I can do right now. Will I return? I can't tell that now. I need my distance for now.

I want to create my own little cosy places and I am thankful for everyone who became a friend with me during the last years.

2024 will be full of dolls, full of fun projects, full of sewing, crafting, creating, full of cosplay, full of traveling. It will be full of meeting friends, learning new things, challeging myself.

I want to get this off my chest as well. If you are interested in a glimpse of my feelings during the last months... behind the cut is the old entry.

Here is my original drafted journal from the 24th October.

For those who are knowing me for longer (and with that I mean longer than this blog here exist) there is the fact I cut ties with several communities over the years. Not only doll ones but different too. It all had several reasons over the last two decades but I won't go that much into detail here.

I am about to do the same again and I know I don't owe anyone an explanation why, but I need to get it out of my head and that's what I made this blog for in the first place. This is subjective I will not discuss anything about it and you can't change how I perceive it, I know I have my flaws too, not innocent, no saint. I just want to get steam off. Thanks.

Don't read further if just the pure art content interests you :)

Two years ago I had a literal doll burn out, I overstressed myself with keeping up on releases "because omg they are so cool" and pressured myself to get customs done in inhumane speed, that sucked all energy from me and I only saw mistakes and hated my work.

It was the time I picked up watching Anime again and fell into DGM and that brought me my love for not only Anime/Mana back but also for the dolls. My focus shifted into doing fan based dolls again. I can say my relationship with OC dolls isn't on par with what it was before the burn out but I will come to that later on.

In the last two years the hobby changed, not only because I had a different approach to it but because of the people who joined the places I used to socialize within the hobby.

First the type, who is annyoing, but well you can ignore quite well. It's people who glorify buying every clothing fullset they can get their hands on and the only love they show for the hobby is actually telling everyone to do the same and just buy half of taobao, like they do. I know people like this were common in before but it got out of hand the last years. You don't buy from taobao? You don't even consider it? Well, you are not part of the club anymore. We always had brand snobs, nothing new. But the amount of energy regarding taobao got quite annyoing.

That's a thing you can ignore, as mentioned, what I can't ignore is stealing ideas or telling lies or just downtalking every release you come across.

And those three type of people is what just makes me leave the hobby spaces I am in.

First of all if something goes wrong just have the balls to apologize to everyone who is involved. Don't go telling lies, don't go and show you basically do what you said I can't do just in another shape. This behaviour took something from me I loved within the hobby: seeing how people grow with their dolls, because I had to block whole areas as I got constantly reminded of person X. I was reminded of situations, of being told my opinion doesn't matter, several times, I got reminded that handcraft work means nothing as long as you can sculpt on a pc and just vomit out products to hide the fact you messed up something else. Oh and of course the "how can't you have time for fast progress"? Coming from a burn out trying to slow down while the real life basically ate me ... ahaha. thanks. And all that despite the fact the people who are causing those problems for me are protected by everyone, oh beware if you dare to say a word. It started with one person and got a bigger mess over the time.

This overall leads to the fact that somehow almost all preorders from non-Asian artists were all super chewy or went horribily wrong for me in the last 3 years. Started with ZeligenArt whom at least popped up after calling out, the clusterfuck with IntotheDeepDolls to the failed Preorder with AceofDolls to Logan.Dolls taking forever with several reminders, or the one with LenaRuiiz I'm still in I literally don't have the nerves to go into details here anymore as it just tires me out. Oh and the post eating my Parcel from Mirror didn't help much either, but that was out of control for us both and Mirror replaced the lost heads for me and just send them out. I don't have the patience for this anymore, I just want them all to be done. That's the reason why I kept pushing back some dolls, normally I do them by arrival. In one(!) preorder case I was asked directly(!) if I want a refund instead of my heads, but I was waiting for 1 1/2 years now, I didn't want to end up with nothing/or even less than I have begun with.

Then we have the audacity of people using other people's creations as their own and only mentioning it briefly, after they got popular with the doll/character "they" have created. If you have references just tell people you have used them. There is nothing wrong with that.

I can't overlook the fact of people 1:1 taking someone's character and slapping on another name and calling them theirs though. There is something going very wrong here.

Then we have the people being nasty about releases that don't fit their aesthetics (yes I am aware this is a thing for years, don't come at me I was member of Den of Demons I know the drill), comparing them to real people and downtalking people they never met and never will understand their beauty standards.

Those 4 types are ruining what I learned to love after leaving the bitch fights of my local community. The support, the open ears, the - we grow together - even when we have different tastes. I miss that.

I know i have withdrawn from telling my OC's backstories as there were too many putting their expectations on how I have to do dolls onto me. I stopped sharing even more photos ... which resulted in people thinking I'm just that one person with a lot of dolls. Sigh. I know growing a thick skin, I'm healing from being a people pleaser and all but in the end ...

i love the dolls. I love the hobby. I love being creative, I love sharing my joy, I love seeing how other people get inspired, how they grow and not this "fast"-fashion type of mentality that somehow came into the hobby. I hate THAT.

I love the people I met and have conversations with, but I don't love how I feel like not part of the hobby anymore, like someone like me don't have space anymore because I just want to have fun, I don't want to buy brand x, and I don't want to be urged to buy size Y, I don't want to reduced to the number of dolls I have - because every finished doll is a huge project for me, all tell a story, some a whole epic book some more just a small article. Because I don't want to be a sassy asshole, because I can't read the irony among the lines when people making fun of me, I take this literally.

I just have no idea anymore if there is a space for me. As I write this I have unboxed a new head and the excitement of having it here, it's still there, I love the hobby, but fell out of love with what the community space - that once felt like home to me - has become.

I will continue my blog, as I like to see my own progress and smile at what I have created. And as long as just one person maybe smiles at my creations or is inspired, or I can help with what I have written down I know it's worth sharing.

... I just want to enjoy my hobby.

There is a ton more going on, my head is full of thoughts, but getting at least this out of my head here might help to sort my feelings.

#blog

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ticklish-touch · 3 months

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Decided to post my Backrooms chapter illustrations separately. The links to all the (SFW) chapters can be found here:

I really wanted to push myself not just as a writer, but also as a digital artist for this story.

You can read some rambles about my art process for each illustration below the cut.

Ch 1: For this chapter cover, I wanted to do my best to replicate the eerie, sickly vibe of Level Zero. And that resulted me in really playing around with the lighting and shadows in a way that I hadn't before. I also wanted to give it a bit of wonky perspective and feel a bit like an illusion-house.

Ch 2: Lookit this cheeky fucker. Totally isn't a Tower of Terror employee luring you into a false sense of security. 😁 My initial idea for this illustration was to make it look as if the Manager's cuttlefish head was really morphing & bowing out from within the wallpaper. I tried a couple drafts where I attempted to line up his tentacles and facial patterns with the wallpaper patterns. And idk, it just didn't end up looking as cool as it did in my head. (Also hallelujiah for Clip pattern brushes, they helped me make the trim around the elevator.)

Ch 3: Fun fact: This chapter was originally going to be the second half of my hotel chapter. But I'm glad it became its own thing, cause otherwise it would've robbed me of the chance to draw Rags acting like a supervillain in a construction helmet and flannel 👍

also Clip Studio Assets are a godsend, they prevent me from having to draw out an entire freakin warehouse floorplan. I did color it all myself though.

Ch 4: I remember this drawing taking me longer than I would've liked.Then again I've always struggled to draw somewhat realistic-looking water. The shadow off-shooting below the smaller cube pool into the deeper water was actually a complete accident.

And in case anyone was wanting to see a close-up of Lionfish Rags:

And again, Spike and Drake are temporary names for the sake of this AU setting until I think of actual names (for if and when I ever get around to making a Mer-Nautica AU like I've been wanting to). The silhouettes show how big they were when I first saw them in my dreams:

Ch 5: I had visuals in mind for a group of Wanderers/ Survivors since before I wrote this chapter, and grew even more attached to them as I wrote them. I was originally going to just have them depicted here, but I also couldn't get the stupid image of Rags and his megaphone out of my head and decided it needed to be shared 👌

Ch 6: When I tell yall that it was a struggle to get through drawing this. And not because of genuine art struggles; No, because of the pure Lee Panik that gripped my soul when having to zoom in close on Rags' sadistic unhinged Ler face hhhhhhfdhdfjgkfghl-

This was one of the chapters I was most looking forward to writing. It's still one of my favs in terms of pure unbridled ruthless gang-tickling, the culmination of my pred/prey/chasing fantasies revolving around laughter-hungry monsters, along with some good ol Mad Scientist roleplay.

...Oh and the first official introduction of the final antagonist, there's that too 😛

Ch 7: Yall have no idea the absolute childlike glee I felt when discovering that there's a freaking Bouncehouse/McDonalds Playplace level of the Backrooms. But holy hell, drawing the Toon Monsters was more of a challenge than I thought. There's a surprising amount of finesse in depicting that wacky, slightly-unnerving/uncanny toony charm. (Ballpit brush is best brush, change mymind)

Ch 8: Since this chapter was more or less meant to be a sort of mid-series Climax, a hint of what the battle with the Keymaster would be like, I really wanted to push myself with making this chapter cover truly stand out. It was fun to come up with a full-body design for the Court Jester (based on his Wiki interpretation of course), and it was fun to experiment with the ideas I had in mind for his magic visuals.

Once again, Clip Studio assets are a lifesaver, you can catch me actually attempting to draw a rollercoaster or carousel when I'm six feet under 👌

Ch 9: I was both excited about, and dreading, the chance to play around with various different light colors & sources. I wasn't sure how I was going to make neon blues, purples and magentas work in contrast to Rags' color palette, but I'm very happy with what I came up with.

The Dark Sovereign was also a chance for me to play around with chiaroscuro, an art technique that I've always admired (and actually really liked to do with chalk & pastel back in college). As much as I'm a slut for bright colors, I love stark contrasting black & white.

Ch 10: I went through about three iterations of sketches for this chapter cover. I felt like I just couldn't figure out how to angle the perspective of the treeline in comparison to the Giant. I'm still not even sure if I thoroughly pulled off the proper perspective of the greenhouse in the far distance. But once I added all the pretty, spooky fog effects, I became much happier with it.

Unfortunately I do not have a standalone drawing of Naga!Rags. It will definitely happen one of these days.

Ch 11: For this chapter, I wanted to draw a very cramped, stark, foreboding stretch of environment: Basically, a quintessential scene that one would see in the Backrooms if they were wandering through them alone. This is meant to be a much more down-to-earth chapter than the rest, with an air of melancholy and uncertainty. Turns out it actually lined up quite well with some of my own mental and emotional struggles that I was going through at the time.

Ch 12: For the final hurrah, I really wanted to push myself as a digital artist for this piece. (Though that doesn't mean I was about to draw all those goddamn keys from scratch, lmaoo you can thank Clip Assets for that key ring.) I wanted to try and find a way to make the Keymaster the more imposing figure in the piece, despite the fact that Rags is fully powered-up and closest to the viewer. I'm not sure if I entirely succeeded, since my end solution for making him stand out more was "MOAR GLOWY KEYS!!!"

But it was still fun, and very rewarding to get it completed.

Ch 13: I was very happy to finally get the chance to fully render Kenni for this fic. As much as shading his tendrils still drives me up the wall, it felt nice drawing the good soff boi. And I was happy to give an idea of how his Dream realm looks, with all its pastel clouds and close proximity to the Astral plane.

#backrooms #backrooms fanart #tickling #tickle fic #oc #original character #original characters #monster #monster boy #tickle monster #artoftt

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whenthechickencry · 27 days

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Our Confession

I actually have read both this one and Last Note Before, it was a long while ago though... so I know the general gist but I don't quite remember all the details

The way Beatrice is doing her dead inside sprite before she realizes others were in the room and then she plays up her hamminess a bunch is really sad, aaa.

Dlanor constantly tells Beatrice she's a good writer and she's so excited but a little sad she won't get to see it as a full-blown game first, and Beatrice is like you don't need to flatter me but she's right Beato you should accept her compliments.

Iirc what the Booklet did for this was having the pages be sealed after this and you had to unseal them, which is actually extremely cool. They did their best here but a simple choice prompt just can't match that, I think.

Haha, the complaining about how Natsuhi is hard to make an accomplice... she's like the only person that cares about the headship as much as the gold, Eva as well but Eva isn't getting that without Sayo's help anyways, thinking about it even in Episode 4 she was one of the first to go,, so I can imagine getting her to cooperate is kind of hard. Granted, once you bring up Jessica to the equation you can probably get her to relent.

Beatrice getting a gun sprite is kind of uncanny, haha, really bringing it home was an early draft before Sayo had the chance to embellish the story with magic.

Kinzo being willing to explain to his children that he would blow them up if he felt like it worked in Sayo's favor when getting accomplices, I suppose.

You know, the fact Genji was like "hey! you are a product of incest. we rewrote your entire life for your incestuous grandfather. All your lovers are your cousins. Everything in your life is a lie. By the way, you have a bomb to blow everything up!" like okaayyy what were you expecting at that point Genji.

It's kind of interesting Beatrice tells accomplices that Kuwadorian is safe - technically Rosa could have probably survived Episode 2 with Maria if she just checked Shannon's corpses and realized she really was dead and just tried to make a mad dash to Kuwadorian, maybe.

Krauss is like yeah sure, sure, why not I guess. The fact that Natsuhi is the one more hesitant about this when she's the one thrust into solving all their problems, figuring out what to do, and she never had the option to not do her part...

This episode really does feel like tearing up the guts of Umineko... you can tell a lot of the accomplices act a little weird around Battler so you can guess Sayo probably told them vaguely of her plan, but it's the sort of thing you don't expect to be explicitly confirmed.

Kumasawa is grinning here, haha, she really does think she's a prank up to the very end.... it's kind of sad. She probably can't even imagine Sayo as someone who would do what she did, but I guess that also shows the way she didn't reach out to try and understand her enough...

It's kind of funny how sometimes you see the story going, ah, shit, sorry I have to embellish this more, right.

While thinking on how to properly kill 5 people she gets distracted by the fact she wants to draw a cute girl instead of a man, haha.

It's kind of funny because she does absolutely think they also did something wrong, but I guess talking to herself like this also makes it easier for her to justify herself to her...

Huh... now that I think about it most magic circles were indeed in places that people don't usually go to, ie the shed or Kinzo's rooms... I did think Sayo did the drawings in between murders, haha

The fact Sayo writes some of her tales while thinking about how the argument with Battler is going to go is kind of funny, haha. I wonder what the Japanese version said for metaworld here... it's not a sentence the translation has used so far and the side arcs don't have the greatest translation, so I am curious...

Beatrice is making fun of Battler for reading so many mystery novels but not being able to figure out the mystery, but also praises the person able to see the fantasy aspect of it...

The fact that so many of the mysteries in Umineko rely on several characters thinking that Shannon/Kanon wouldn't do X is very sad... like Sayo is writing these stories with the assumptions that no one in the family actually understands her and won't care to try to, so her mysteries are safe.

It's kind of interesting how in the episodes Sayo does this they mix up whether a Sayo actor is doing it or whether it's an actual conclusion the characters reached, in order to have more difficulty seeing the pattern. For ex: in Ep1 Eva, the accomplice, and Natsuhi both brought up this argument. Eva was an accomplice but Natsuhi isn't.

It's brought up that Gohda and Kumasawa don't know its actual murder, I knew about Kumasawa but didn't know about Gohda, actually... I think the roulette accomplices always know or at least figure it out early enough. Kumasawa's the one who is always clueless. Not really sure about Gohda in ep2, though. I think a lot of people were probably clueless in ep4.

This scene always fucks me up.... the way one of the few light conversations we see between Sayo and Kumasawa is here, the fact Sayo is crying after what she does before resuming the mocking Beatrice act. The use of "End of a Daydream" as the song...

In general this episode really highlights how? Disassociative? Sayo was during all of this. She constantly switches from doing the cruel witch that laughs at everyone's misfortune, to passing the blame on to Battler for what happened, to being fucked up about what is happening. None of these are Sayo on their own but all of them together make up Sayo. I think an episode like this really helps you see how all of the Sayos are one Sayo. Its role as a post-Umineko arc is interesting too. Even people sympathetic to Sayo occasionally role her as ie the innocent victim who did nothing wrong or flatten her into her relationship with Battler. Sayo is so much more than that and this episode forces you to confront that.

Shannon's words here hit so hard... Sayo here is affirming she was an incomprehensible being that was impossible to understand in the first place. In general, Shannon seems to be the persona most resigned to giving up... Beatrice might think its a long shot but her game and the meta arguments show that she does have a hope that she can be understood. Kanon might not think better is possible, but still yearns for it and isn't satisfied with what they have; as opposed to Shannon who seems completely resigned to the fact no one will understand them and that there is no hope for the future. Ofc all of these are the same person, so it's not useful to see them as totally different perspectives. But I think trying to understand each persona on their own is useful to analyzing Sayo. Like, why is the persona that has completely given up tied to George? Why is the persona that wants better but doesn't think its possible tied to Jessica? I think answering those kinds of questions can help you understand what was going on in Sayo's head during a lot of moments as well as help you contextualize their relationships more.

It's kind of funny how they do the missing corpse trick with Kanon constantly but never with Shannon, when Shannon's corpse appears its either after Sayo is dead or they hide the corpse another way entirely. R07 probably didn't want you to figure out they were the only corpses allowed to do this.

Dlanor points out that Beatrice surely wants to be understood by more than one person, Beatrice doesn't really answer to that remark and just says it's fine for her to just hope that one person understands her.

Of course, Dlanor did end up guiding Battler to Beatrice... and thankfully he didn't have to release her guts in order to do it, but... Battler still didn't understand her with just Beatrice's own words and actions. He needed to be guided and prompted by others to be able to get there, and it was still too late. This is still very sad.

Beatrice gets a shocked expression once Dlanor points out that said prince needs to have love for her or otherwise they won't get to her, and Beatrice relents in giving her the manuscript as long as Dlanor agrees to not release it before she is dead.

Now, on to the present.

Of course, Sayo didn't *just* want Battler to understand her. She wanted others to be able to see her heart. She wanted others to stop painting over her for the benefit of others. She wanted everyone to see her for the full person that she was. But that seems like such an impossible, naive dream that she won't even accept to having it.

There's just so much going on here... Dlanor begging for you to understand her, the reuse of the episode 4 red truth. Dlanor points out that just understanding what went on in the gameboards isn't enough to understand Sayo, there is still so much more for you to understand.

This is the first of all the side arcs I would say is completely required reading, Umineko's Saikoroshi basically. The writing here was excellent, allowing you to see the gameboard from a different perspective helps you understand Sayo much more. Being post-ep8 also lets them be so much more explicit with things they didn't have as much of liberty in the main arcs. There are so many heartbreaking scenes in this episode. If anyone reading this hasn't read this arc, I really beg you to do so.

#umineko #UmiSaku

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midnightexpressproductions · 7 months

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I completely forgot I had these in my drafts

With these last two character intros, this finally rounds out the full main cast!

No update for today but I'll hopefully have one coming up for y'all soon.

Gwen Nguyen | The Kid

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While she might seem like a sweet and innocent kid at first glance, Gwen is precocious and snarky to a fault. She wants to be taken seriously and doesn't like being coddled due to her disability or because of her age. Gwen isn't afraid to make her dislike of someone known, making crude gestures or mocking them behind their backs. She'd say that she is mature for her age but that couldn't be further from the truth. Because Gwen doesn't want to be seen as helpless, she is very adamant in learning how to fight and take care of herself, wanting to do her part in protecting the crew. Gwen is very trusting when you first meet her. However, that trust can be easily broken and once lost can never be regained. Even during the apocalypse, Gwen has not given up hope of a brighter future.

Fun Facts:

She absolutely loves bears. Gwen's favorites are sun bears and grizzly bears.

Her full name is Gwendolyn. Call her that and she'll hate you forever.

She likes giving little trinkets of her appreciation to the rest of the crew. Shiny rocks, flowers, bottle caps, anything she thinks that they would like.

Gwen is fluent in ASL and she is learning how to speak HCMC sign language.

She doesn't like dogs.

If she had to choose who her favorite was in the crew, it'd be either Max or Javier. Gwen likes drawing with Max and pushing Javier's buttons is always fun.

She hates the dark.

Gwen still has her polar bear plush that she's had since birth. She keeps it hidden away in her backpack.

Pa and Ma Hazel | The Guardians

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Pa might look like a big scary dog but in actuality, he's just a big ol' doofus. He's more friendlier compared to Ma Hazel, greeting anyone (human or animal) he meets with a multitude of puppy dog kisses. He's also much more curious, a trait that causes Pa to wander off rather frequently. Luckily, Ma Hazel is around to keep him in check. She's the complete opposite of Pa, her almost cat-like personality making her a difficult dog to get along with. She's known as the princess of the crew and she likes to be treated as such. While it doesn't take much for Pa to trust someone, Ma Hazel isn't so easily swayed. Once you've gained their trust however, you've gained a friend for life and both Pa and Ma Hazel will fiercely protect the people they love.

Fun Facts:

No one knows their real names. Derek's the one who renamed them as Pa and Ma Hazel and that's what they've been answering to ever since.

Ma Hazel is picky with who she gives attention to. Her favorite humans so far are Derek and Gwen.

Pa loves everyone equally but Gwen seems to be his most favorite.

Ma Hazel hates getting baths. She loves having her fur brushed through.

Pa likes to chew on everything he finds and because of this, will bring back random objects. After the crew received a few grisly presents, he's not allowed to wander by himself anymore.

Ma Hazel is a secret troublemaker. She'll get into the treats hidden away or eat any food left out. Because of how stoic she seems, everyone assumes Pa did it.

They both seem to understand commands in English and Spanish.

#if wip #when the dead wake #character intro #gwen nguyen #pa and ma hazel

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tlgpandoramia · 5 months

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Neon Blood : The First Chapter

Just the first chapter of my new book. Currently it's the second draft, however I still didn't decided entirely about many things, so It may drastically change it in the future...Or Not XD Any (kind) feedback it's appreaciate it. OBS: It contains several spelling and grammar errors.

Welcome To Near Dark

Great and creatives mind preaches about the Devil and evil in the form of a horned man, that the world started as a ball of nothingness, beginning when the first human were born...A little egocentric thought, it isn't?

The devil can be quite a genius, tricking people to believe that It doesn’t exist, alive in the mind of the faithful that if though they pray for Its destruction, fear gives birth to strength, after all it’s a standard human thing to ignore the fact that if you despise something, then you’re acknowledging its existence. A perfect disguise for a world where no one believes the very thing in front of their eyes. Think about it, a perfect disguise, for the evil to do the Devil’s job.

Mary Shelley once said ‘’No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks’’. Few blood-hand individual will see themselves as doing a genuine macabre thing, instead perusing the path of justifying their actions, either by using the excuse of a god complex, or just for fun, true evil draws in the weakness of the unfaithful.

How easy it would be to tell a tale and make as if some guy in a jumpsuit, or a creepy clown acted as the antagonist bogeyman in my closet, after all many children are scared by that. When I came to be, Father called me a perfect angel, saying how pretty those bright blue eyes were, or the pretty ginger flocks coming out of the skull. An ordinary man, disguising himself as an angelic persona with fluffy white wings, yet later that child grow to be a girl and she started to see his true self, a definition of deception and pain.

I could indulge in a story about some child that got crushed by an incoming truck and left on the scorching asphalt. However, nothing worked as in the movies, as she learned why fiction is called fiction, no reanimated corpses attempting to eat your brain, werewolves howling under the moonlight and ripping humans apart, or the cliche that danger is outside and lurking in the dark.

Sometimes it happened in the dark, I would cry and beg for someone to be telepathic and read my thoughts. Father loved horror movies, he used to tell stories about shadow like beings living in the house, and locked me inside a dark closet just for the laughs.

‘’You talk and our family’s over, you don’t want that, do ya?’’ the raspy tone still plagues my mind, in special during the night. A perfect child, quiet, intelligence, non problematic and quite independent, yet I had to act as a the clumsy and silly girl that would fall and injured herself in a daily basis.

Now I’m seventeen, just achieved that milestone last year February’s, although no pride behind it, I saw more disgrace, poverty and pain than an experience slash horror protagonist, no scary slasher killed me, in the final scene a random car appeared and picked me up. On the outside a neutral persona, yet inside things were different, screaming, crying and laughing, all in the same time, and in the same order.

Things changed, and the prophecy of the family being separated came true, although I stayed in the good guys side, it could a case of Freddy and Frank, that returned to the sequel to suffer the same fate in a different place, nevertheless it feels that a mantle of fog envelops me and prevents anyone to see me the same way they did before, it can be so cold and lifeless inside of it, a feverish dream, or a summer afternoon nap, nothing has the sensation to be real, a collective madness that involves my brothers and mother, a dream sequence of some kind, although it sound absurd, not a single souls enjoys when everything’s perfect and the character realizes that it happened during a dream.

No demon or haunting are present in this plot, I’m haunted, okay, yet not by some gray skin with spiked fangs. It may be wrong to think, but it would’ve be easier if the haunting stayed physical, the screams and traumas caused more injuries that the metal leash or the slaps, no one wishes to hear from their parent that they were a mistake, that nobody would missed me, Father acted cruel without trying, or he tried to offer a lesson about real life.

The Dilemma that ‘’if it’s bad, why not leave?’’ can be common, and I have an answer for it, a caged bird that lived its entire live inside bars sees flying as an illness. If Shelley’s quote has real knowledge, then it means that father held no evil inside of him, trying on his own way to prove a point of view.

By thinking about it, I can’t shake the thought that no one stood up for me, how wrong its to think it, even as a intrusive emotion, I didn’t asked for help, feeding the foolish judgment that somehow any of the three could notice it. Kids dream about strong heroes flying and save them, later in life that children becomes the adult that were their ideal savior. I don’t feel like one, or capable of aiding that little girl, to be honest from time to time I tend to still be scared of the past.

I had mother in my thought when the decision to reveal what happened won, I didn’t wished for her to remain married with that boomer, yet the doubt that she would take his side and refuse to believe in my version kept me from sleeping for many nights. Telling that a child is bad when it isn’t changes their soul, starting as a thought, then confirmation and last, vengeance, when the wish of wanting nothing more that to be evil comes over.

I didn’t turned into a slasher. However I didn’t gained justice for ten years of abuse, we just left it all behind in Detroit, hoping that moving somewhere else could help all four of us.

She couldn’t afford Las Californias, or a one bedroom house anywhere in the country. We were lost, they all enjoyed our old home and it broke the younger one.

As a child, I imagined how the sea and a beach would be, photos could’ve helped, if only people without a neural implant could access it. The sea fascinates me, how life began in it, so full of life and history, a living poetry of billion of years.

For three days and three nights we stayed in cramped hotels that smelled as if a chem party happened there, I preferred to stay on the chair instead of sleeping on those bed sheets, imaging the beach waves and how it could feel during late evenings, more that once I caught signs of people meant to be road killers, yet much less charming.

Mother talked about that town hundred of times, describing it as the perfect haven for the punks and wires, a woman born and raised there, leaving it behind for some steam surfer guy.

The trip proved to be brutal to mother’s wallet, and for me, since I have a bad breath dog breathing on my neck for hours.

Both boys kept going on who should decide the radio song , quite annoying bantering, songs changing every two minutes, until one of the great lords decided that it’s worth to be played.

‘’In the web that is my, I begin again…’’ Mom hums to the song coming out of the dusty radio, she has her moments, sometimes longer that usual.

‘’Nope’’ Jesse leans over, pressing the button and changing station for the fifth time.

‘’Come on, that was rad in my time’’ the next music station proves to be boring to both boys, two industrial guys cringing over the slang and non synth wave song.

‘’Not yet’’ the two syncs their voices, Mom sighs in defeat, pressing the button three times until a rock music plays, something about a teenage frankstein.

Xeno stretches its paws, forcing me to further shrug my legs, between the travel from that creepy hotel and the three hours on the highway my poor lower limbs took the worse, not to mention wearing a long skirt had been the stupidest thing ever after the name Jesse gave the dog. It feels that every lower muscle cramped and shrink, January should've been colder, winter and all, yet the climates changes, plus the local humidity made everything worse.

It amazes me how neither of them bother to ask ‘’Are we there yet?’’, classic line in any horror movie, a family moving into a chaotic and fisherman town, to live in a decayed overpopulated building, still requires a decent author to make things interesting, it could have some dark romance, and no computer generated imagery, or that virtual reality images, I’m a practical effects girl all the way.

‘’Look, jus’ a little longer’’ Mom points to the neon billboard on a small island a few meters from the shore and the coastal rocks.

It says ‘’Welcome To Near Dark’’, a turned off neon LED banner, daytime reduced it to a giant glass letters, erasing all the traces of the images.

‘’Real niche, Mom’’ Jesse adjust the headphones that ran out of battery hours ago’’It smells funny, fish, and oil, and fuel…’’

‘’Jesse...’’Mom rubs his left arm, glancing back at Michael and I, she told so many tales about this town, conjuring images of a true Las Californias haven experience’’I know things are awful, like totally gnarly, but I think that you’re goin’ to really like here’’

Mom optimism can make a corpse believe in resurrection, it makes my heart twitches, almost if it would hurt if I chose not to believe, as if she speak it enough times it will be true.

The air’s hotter, cursed be humidity, making my hair frizzy and reducing my head size. A fresh breeze comes from the sea helps to fend off the thick warm air, Michael has a stoic expression, yet this type of weather its his thing, how Jesse and him would spend hours in the backyard old pool, the horrible combination of aromas is just a side effect for him.

For me it plays a different role, as the sun only purpose is to burn my skin, causing some friendly fire on my exposed forearms.

And so it begins, the first sights of civilization of Near Dark, which promised nothing and delivered everything, a kaleidoscope of styles and bizarreness. People driving convertibles, whooping and hollering at anything that has legs, pedestrians showing middle fingers and shouting bad names, cursing the driver’s family down to their first generation, a few throw things at it, a true free for all, a true beach town experience, the weakest here could send the strongest from Detroit to a clinic.

To add further, sunburn skins and bodily implants seems to be the fashion, plus a notorious clothing shortage, a lady wearing a yellow fluorescent bikini spins around on a Rollerblade, waving at the upcoming vehicles and just acting as the standard gore character that get kill in the first forty minutes.

Tourist and locals alike passes by the street, carrying their frozen treats and ice cream cones melting on the two afternoon sun, a thrill of sweat grease on the sidewalk, it should be the least of the contamination worries, as the gutter are filled with wasted cigarettes, discarded food packaging and plastic, I can imagine the state of the water drainage system, at least no one will flow down there.

Mom flags the pedestrians, giving time for the crowd to disperse, some do just that, allowing us to pull over and enter a side way to some rinky dink gas station. Others are not so polite, screaming at mother to be careful, a guy punches the hood, not hard enough to cause a full argument, yet loud enough to make her apologizes. He passes by my window, although the wagon truck is tall, I just sink lower on the seat to avoid eye contact, a gang of Nazi Runners, mowhanks, loose tank tops, thick gloves covered by spikes, shoulders pad meant to tackle on their victims and the surgical implanted enhance eyes, dark silver goggles scanning me and waiting for a breach to engage in their illicit hobbies.

As soon as the wagon parks, Jesse jumps out, dragging Xeno along by the leash, running to the opposite side of the station.

Although Michael’s my brother which I love with all my heart, being alone with a male a few centimeters away sparks an unsettling sensation, he breaks the uncomfortable mood between us by distancing himself.

‘’Hey, you saw that thing on the sign?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Nevermind’’ Michael sighs, leaving the car and entering the gas station, just standing there without any goal.

My knees twinges on the chance to be stretch, however the humidity is worse outside, forcing me to shield my eyes from the sun and the breeze of warm wind. The beach has a second sea, this one of people, some laying on the hot sand, cooking alive while others are enjoying the water, most of the frequents are tourist, it can be spotted with ease due to eye squinting and expensive sunglasses, over the years pollution made the sun increased its radiation rays, or whatever its called. People passes by and throw glares at me, the worst part is how I can feel the sweat sliding on my legs below the socks, lack high knees frying my skin, can’t blame them for the crooked eyes, I would do the same if someone’s wearing fluorescent bikinis back in Detroit.

Mom fills the car with gas, giving me an accidental high from the smell, natives from here drinks fuel as part of an initiation ritual, how she knows this is beyond me, although I can guess the answer for this enigma.

On the outskirts, three older teenagers ignores the beach across the street, instead diving in the dumpster, Jesse run past it, pointing beyond the city.

‘’There’s a freakin’ amusement park there, look, Mom!’’

At the distance, a glorious roller coaster shape decorates the horizon, even two enormous spotlights simulating eyes of some sort, below it a large construction gives access to the pier, beach and a coastal mall. The whole place’s sleeping, the glass signs and billboards, plus it lacks crowd, although Jesse’s swooning over the sight, Mom’s unphased, mere giving him an agreement and focusing her attention to the gas pump.

One of the teens falls on the floor, laughing about it and complaining about the cement hardness, only to dive right back in. A faded green hair girl pick a white and red fast food package, taking a piece of a half eaten pie, biting it as it’s a delicacy of some sort.

Runways escaping from someone or something, those three could’ve been Michael, Jesse and I, Mom worked hard to prevent that, pointing us to the right direction and creating an environment where we could talk to each other, instead of dwelling within our heads and battling it alone.

Near Dark it’s full of this type, overpopulated it, one on every sidewalk, some better dressed, a few with implants, yet all carries the same essence, a dozen bleed with the background, attempting to survive and just go on another day.

As I open my bad, the wallet beg for some content, it’s being a whole month since it saw money, yet a single ten Neodollar chip remains, the last memory from my collection sold two months ago.

Mom expressions frowns, yet she makes the choice to handle over her last chip to those teenagers, urging Jesse to approach.

‘’Jes, get those kid this for some food’’ although Jesse don’t challenges her orders, yet gives me a side look when I also give some chips for the homeless youth.

He opens the mouth for a split second, a single word coming out, however Mom rubs his shoulder, although he’s reluctant, Jesse budges, giving the chips to the teenagers, signaling that the task went smooth. It mesmerizes me how happy those kids are by receiving the chips, jumping around and teasing each other by touches and playful punches, waving at Mom and screaming around.

‘’Thanks, cougar, you’re ten!’’ the green hair one performs a gesture with both hands, Mom face lights up on the compliment.

No doubt that those chips will be quite useful for them, buying food for tonight or maybe rent some place to take a shower, nevertheless we could’ve used it as well.

Jay insist on going into the amusement park as a reward from following the command, circling around the car and putting Xeno back inside.

‘’Come on, I’m more desperate that a brain eater zombie in a influencers party!’’

‘’Later, zombie punk, Grandma’s watin’ for us’’

A convertible full of Runners approaches, the beat coming out of their speakers vibrates the wagon interior, at least it look that the group’s having fun, unlike me, being burn alive by the scorching seat. Michael has the right idea, getting the key for his motorcycle on the wagon’s cart, a true classic from decades ago, a custom Cynthia Davidson model, bough in a junkyard and customize to his taste, the memory of Jesse bringing the possibility that it could’ve belonged to someone that died in an accident cheers me up a little, he cherishes that motorcycle so much, and to think how he tried to sell it for money.

The remain of the city follows the same pattern, crowds of gangs, runaways, guys and gal rocking ripped bodies , turned off neon billboards and a awful brightness for a place that has the word ‘’dark’’ in its name. Ahead of the park the avenue gives access to several residential streets, the terrain so flat that I can see homes miles away, Mom calls it the ‘’Diamondback’’ where the rich lives, near the beach and the city’s center, the poor lives near the mountains, and below.

Jesse seems unpleased by the idea of meeting Grandma, crossing the arms and shaking the legs, to be honest, I can’t recall much of her and I understand his disinterested by it, she meet him the day he was born , almost fifteen years ago, even leaving the in the same day, Grandma refuses to leave the house for the past fifty years, she didn’t even show up for mine or Michael birth, so one can imagine everyone surprise when that old lady ring our apartment. Although, it seems cruel of a grandparent to do such thing, she never hide the distance between us, her and mom had many issues and it strained further the day she discovered about Michael’s pregnancy, I still remember the day she call and mistaken me for mom, ‘’Hey, did you or the kids die yet?’’, when a negative answer came, the call ended.

It must be hard for mom to have no one else to turn to help, forced to live with her three children in their grandmother’s house in some backwater Las Californias town. However, its amazing how Grandma agreed to offer us shelter in the first place. I have the best memory between the four of us and even with this quality, I recall little of her, a reddish brown hair woman with the same eyes as mine, although I’m not expecting a graceful elder lady serving milk and cookies, I hope that we ain’t digging yourselves in a house that will be plagued by constant discussions, it may be a sign of weakness, yet I no longer can’t take violence and screams, at least for the next months.

The stimulating from earlier vanishes as quick as it came, turning into the only clues of nature in this place. Bleached from the sunshine, overcrowded by rangy flora, almost if this place segregates from the rest of the city, who could’ve guess that’s the same location from forty minutes ago, a harsh, yet positive chance, I only hope Michael didn’t forgot to put on googles. Following an inclined road, and a eerie view of a ravine by the right, the Andrei matriarch house shows itself by the cliff. Large wooden poles laying around, forming symbols that fails to be familiar, some are craved to resemble animals, one type is the trident poles, it means ‘’Algiz’’, belonging to the Elder Futhrark runic alphabet, its use to offer protection and security, surrounding the fence project that seems untouched in decades. A six foot pentagram forged in metal hangs on the arc by the entrance.

Mother parks the car in front of the eight steps wood stairs leading to the porch, a delicate two people size swing agitates by wind, no doubt Jesse’s thinking how much this resembles the Knowby Cabin, although it’s larger and with luck no evil book in the basement. A shed ahead seems to act as a garage, however its impossible to go any further, as all manners of bizarre symbols and ornaments blocks the passage, some are unfinished poles or craving of the symbols around the property. Dolls head are hanging on the trees, their eyes replaced by shards of mirror, crosses made of wood circles around, either grandma’s trying to keep the evil in, or out, guess we’ll see soon.

This house, or cabin, it’s something else, to be mild. The design dates back to the two thousand, yet the construction pattern from the today is strong with this one, large windows, brown and neutral colors, lack of vibrant ones and a double glass door featuring seven tiles in a pair of segment top and solid, whatever it means, I read once about it in a magazine that explained about it, it was the same door, it seems heavy and sturdy, way to thick for the house of an elder lady edging her eighty years.

All is so quiet, Mom stares around, from her blink less eyes she’s expecting something to occur. Michael climbs down , going a few steps ahead before freezing, staring at the porch hidden for my vision.

A pair of legs sprawled out, wearing a worn out slipper. On the floor, Grandma’s impaled by a short wooden pole, right through her chest. The body lies below an aluminum plate, crushing the fragile body, a brick broken in half close to her head indicates how it happened.

An absurd amount of crimson blood overflows the porch, dripping on the stair as he eyes are wide open, and the tongue already purple, spread out on the right corner of the lips. Michael pupils dilated as if he saw his soulmate, while Jesse quint ahead, shaking the head and sitting on the part of the porch untouched by the substance. Mom sighs and kneels.

‘’Mom?’’ Michael’s unruffled about it, stepping back.

‘’Great, she died, how’ bout we sell this and go back to Detroit?’’ Jesse ignores a answer and takes Xeno out .

‘’Syrup mixed with red dye’’ Mom wheeze in disappointment, showing us the scheme, as the stake proves to be a mere piece of foam ‘’Mom, get up’’

The former corpse comes to live, removing the false eyeballs and laughing, like if anyone found it funny.

‘’Did a damn good job this time’’ the elder put her glasses back on, coughing the red syrup that invade the mouth.

Mom embraces her, still it doesn’t make the situation better or helps me to forget about the silly prank. The air get stuck in my throat, as if invisible hands strangulates me, I could pay the same way, fall on the floor and pretend to be dead, that would make us even, good thing Mom gave me such a good education.

She opened both main door, allowing the boys to bring in the boxes. Unpacking it’s the easier part about it, every appliance and furniture we owned was sold to either pay the lawyers or the bills, plus most of our belongings were left behind. We couldn’t afford a true moving trailer to bring everything, so everything ended up on the general store balcony, not even Jesse rare comic books escaped the fate, good thing Mom raised us in a bohemian style, avoiding implants, neural links and eletronics, instead letting us focus on physical things, I still remember about high school, while the others had their fancy neural implants, I resorted to dusty books fabricated in the past century, a few nicknamed me ‘’Time Traveler’’, teasing all the time about the peculiar way my family lived, I don’t miss school or technology.

The last books in the wagon are the rest of my books and Mom’s vinyl collection, tunnels to the past. Weird how much life changed over such a short time, it feels scary to be on this highway, things can go over the weather so quick, I had good memories about those vinyl, if only Dad hadn’t blighted it, once he kicked the door of my room because the music was too loud, wielding that leather leash that hurted so bad, the metal parts were heavy and wide, meant to cause bruises and with enough force, broken bones, the final hit would hurt me the most, as if each hit I would shrink, getting smaller and smaller, the final one gave me some nasty purple bruise on the back of my neck, a soreness that last for almost one week, in a few occasions I would catch my reflection during shower and see the damage on my back and shoulders , one more reason for a silly teenager to be disgust with her body.

‘’You alrigh’?’’ Mom pulls me off the trance, petting my shoulder and smiling, I know she means well and I’m not ashamed to talk about feelings, yet I can’t shake off the feeling of shame, as if she knows something quite embarrassing about me, I don’t want people pitying me or mentioning all the time what happened, on the other hand there’s nothing I wish more that to be given a lot of attention.

‘’Darling, you’th only woman that got nothing in a divorce’’ Grandma smokes a jet, grape flavor, a horrible smell raises.

‘’I know, but the guy had nothin’ to take, and I didn’t wanted a huge fight’’Mom takes off one box, putting on the floor before organizing everything in a weight order’’We didn’t need more fight’’

That’s my queue to leave, before they starts to referring to me in the third person as if I’m not present.

Inside, those two are already jumping around and exploring the first floor. Two bathrooms, one upstairs and other below the stairs, four bedrooms and a thick door blocking the access to the basement, eight padlocks and four locks, none of the fancy electronic codes or locks, just the vanilla way people used to do it. A woman living in a isolated house on the hill inviting people to live with her, talk about The House On The Skull Mountain.

The place’s a mess, to be delicate about it. Melted candles stick on the chandeliers, long ago since cleaned, weird symbols hanging around the living room, plants with vines and covered by thorns, the awfull scent of religious aroma and the essence of jet grape smoke. A true alternative nightmare, to add further, the huge statues of owls and wolfs don’t make things better in any degree, up on the wall a taxidermy head of a bear stares at me all the time, as if those glass eyes are following each step, and watching over the entrance.

It’s cozy, won’t lie about it, a certain charm mixing several styles and delusions. Aside from how muddle the house is, it’s clean enough, the wood floor shines and the decoration has no traces of dust.

Every room is a living tomb.

#women writers #writerscommunity #artists on tumblr #book blog #female writers #writers on tumblr #creative writing #horror writing #booklr #reading

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courtofmatchups · 1 year

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I’m genuinely curious to see who I would get(you can be honest dw 💀) so can I please get a matchup? (Not Jasper tho 😟)

Also I’m really sorry if this is horrible at explaining-

I would say I’m a nice person and when I first meet people or don’t know others I’m pretty quiet but after the first few times I’m pretty chill

I tend to think more logically more often then not unless I’m with my friends and having fun then I sometimes forget

I’m willing to learn things though it takes me a few(hundred /j) times to memories things but all in all I memorize things somewhat quickly after some practice

I’m a great listener and I enjoy writing and sometimes even reading and on a rare occasion drawing(even though it sucks-), I also very much enjoy making up scenarios for random writing prompts/stories and I even imagine myself in them haha

I like sweets but I don’t eat them much

I like jokes and pranks(particularly doing them) and I even find it funny to scare people(it happens unintentionally like 90% of the time 💀) sometimes(I do it rarely tho)

I’m actually pretty quiet some(like 50%) of the time and people have actually forgotten I’m there so ig that’s another thing LMAO

I really like kids and am not that bad at taking care of some. Kids also like me a lot of the time(I chase them around and they find it funny)

I’ve been described as chaotic fun by friends and I’m also a hugger after I get to know people enough haha(I also have a tendency to jokingly steal things from my friends like their glasses and hats and put them on then run when they try and get them back LMAO)

I don’t have a single coherent thought in my head

Absolutely none /hj ( ˊ̱˂˃ˋ̱ )

I’m sorry if this is bad please take your time-

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

It seems you have captured the heart of

The Devious Libertine

Fenn Luxure!

Fenn, Fenn, Fenn. It seems he met his match when he first became friends with you. He likes that you seem like a nice person, and as he grew closer to you he came to appreciate the chaos you bring. Heck, he'll even join you in it. Expect to play pranks on each other and on your friends

Fenn likes the fact that you are such a good listener and will enjoy talking to you. Also, he likes the fact that you like to write, too. Your process of formulating these stories is fascinating to him, and perhaps he might even ask for your input when he decides to write a new novel.

Now, if being good with kids isn't simpable as hell to Fenn, He doesn't know what is. He'd probably see you reading to some kids at a local library or something to that equivalent, and the way the kids are totally entranced by you is something he'd never tire of seeing

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Writer's block. It's every writer's worst enemy. Now here Fenn is, slumped at his desk at his mental limit. Sitting around idly won't get the creative juices flowing, so he decides to see you.

Fenn: Treeaasuure~

You: Hey, Fenn. What's up?

Fenn: I am incredibly bored right now, and I would like your company

You: ...Writer's block?

Fenn nods

You: Let's go into town together. Maybe going out will help you clear your mind

Fenn: A capital idea! Actually, there's a new import of wine from Luxure, let's get some

Your day in town was a fun one to be sure. Some children you had read to had come up to you. They caught up with you and Fenn to chat a little bit. The way their eyes lit up as they spoke to the two of you made Fenn smile a little bit. It was simply small talk, but he felt something spark in his mind

Soon your conversation ended and the children's parents came to pick them up, and then the two of you headed on your way to get a bottle of wine to share.

You made some more stops to shop for some things before going back to the academy. Fenn had an idea for a storyline with a character based on you, so he asked you to help him "act out the plot" if you will.

Thanks to your help, he was able to actually write out the story. After a few months of drafting, his new novel came to print, and it seems like it was becoming quite the hit. This was a victory he dedicates to you

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

#fenn luxure x reader #fenn luxure #fenn modea #court of darkness #court of darkness matchups #court of matchups #this was written as if i had no idea who you were #and it shows #🥲#this was a little ooc #this was rushed and it shows #court of darkness x reader

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dangerous-advantage · 9 months

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For the ask game, 7, 10, 14, and 62 👀

[link to ask game] (thanks so much for the ask! sorry this took a while, i have been procrastinating :P)

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

short answer: i have no fucking clue

long answer: i have some ideas but it's complicated

the big thing for me, other than 'what is the best way to make the plot move forward, and who is the best character to see that through,' is keeping povs balanced. unless i have ulterior motives, or i feel a certain pov is unnecessary/redundant, i try to give everyone their time to shine.

this isn't to say there's a specific formula or sequence i'll follow, it's more of what "feels right" for their individual arcs and what needs to happen for them to get to a certain point.

pacing also plays a really big part in it. pov can be a lifesaver in imbuing a sense of time into the narrative. you can create "transitions" in the story by shoving a well-placed pov in there that takes the eyes off of the main action for a bit.

my biggest struggle with this is balancing pov and what i want the audience to know. when you have a lot of perspectives, things can get messy fast, so "checking up" with you audience about what each character is up to is vital to the plot feeling smooth.

however, this can be at odds with the utilization of perspective itself-- i.e., each character will have different insights on a given situation. withholding information to create as sense of tension can be as easy as avoiding a certain pov, and favoring one whose perspective will be less helpful in a given situation.

this can be really fun, and if you play your cards right, create really intriguing, satisfying plots with reveals that work. but doing so can come at the risk of suppressing another characters' pov.

all this aside, i really don't have a great explanation. there's no real process here for me, other than outlining, hoping for the best, and if that doesn't work out, writing and rewriting until i find a perspective that works.

10. Control + F "blinks" and copy/paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up.

fun fact: for my current wip, i have four separate documents, each containing a different version of the draft. the first one is for my really rough draft, the second is for my rough draft, the third is for my 'god why' draft, and the fourth is for my final draft.

given all of this, you would think i could find the word 'blink' somewhere in that whole mess. but apparently, as of this post, i have not written the word 'blink' a single time in arc II.

so, because i still want to do this, i ran a random word generator and got 'constant' instead.

here's what i got (not even my beta has seen this yet, haha):

"Everything looked damp and new. Rivulets of water raced each other down smooth stone [walls,] collecting in shallow pools and rocky crevices. Years of constant run-off had shaped the walls, each minute drop chiseling away sediment to be swept away and deposited elsewhere."

(from an upcoming chapter of 'it was futile;' may be subject to change.)

14. How do you write emotional scenes? Do you draw from personal experiences?

i could be all tongue in cheek and say, "all writing stems from personal experience," but that's a cop-out, and a generalization. plus, i love to talk about myself, so... /silly

for the most part, when i'm writing emotional scenes, i'll try and get into a character's head(s) and explore what i think their reaction would be.

that doesn't mean that i don't or haven't used my own personal experiences as inspiration, or to really get myself in the headspace i want to be in for writing a certain scene.

usually, when i'm going in to writing a certain scene, i try to imbue the entire thing with the underlying sense of whatever emotion i'm trying to evoke. if i need, i'll also try and get myself in the 'mood' of whatever the scene is supposed to be via brainstorming, or listening to music that suits the scene.

music is a big part of my writing process. some people cannot stand background noise of any kind when writing, which is understandable. i generally prefer music without words, but if i know a song well enough, i can sometimes put it on loop and just let it play in the back of my head as i write, anchoring me to a scene.

well-written emotional scenes are my bread and butter, because there's so much meaning you could drag out of just a small, quiet moment. most of the emotional 'scenes' i write aren't really 'scenes' in the traditional sense, but instead just little moments in the narrative.

these serve to build-up characterization and character dynamics, two things i enjoy exploring in my writing. i'm more of a character-driven writer than a plot-driven one, though i try to balance things where i can.

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

if anybody has ever read my writing, they'll probably notice i tend to spend a lot of time building suspense, whether i mean to or not. i enjoy writing, and i do like myself a good cliffhanger.

i don't have any polarizing feelings on this. i know some people hate them, and i understand. i think what it comes down to, for me, is whether a cliffhanger can justify itself.

it's the same thing with twists-- if you have a twist just for the sake of having a twist, it's probably not a good twist. you want your reveals to impact the narrative and the characters in a way that feels important.

in my mind, every twist or reveal should be a metaphorical step. after you learn this information, there's no going back. the story has been impacted, and from now on, this information will be important and relevant to the story. there's no closing pandora's box.

for cliffhangers, it's little different, but the guiding principle is still the same: don't have cliifhangers just to have cliffhangers.

cliffhangers are an extended reveal. they're a narrative device that, if used correctly, should elevate your story. they're also very good for pacing and pov changes. sometimes, a cliffhanger just makes it's way in there because that's the natural progression of a scene.

a good cliffhanger carries it's own wait. you learn something new, or something happens that leaves you going, "oh my god, what's gonna happen next?" and then when that thing happens next, the cliffhanger will have only made things more satisfying.

if the reveal isn't satisfying, you shouldn't put in a cliffhanger. it's like double-jeopardy: if you get it right, the pay-off will be big. if you get it wrong, you might have just ruined a huge aspect of your story.

practicing restraint here also means that when you put a cliffhanger in, it hits even harder, just because of the novelty of it. it raises the stakes. you lose that if you overuse them.

#@crows-murder #<3 you are so cool for this #i swear i'll send some of these too when i have time tonight <3 #long post #tw long post #unedited

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danpuff-ao3 · 1 year

Text

The Making of: Spaghetti

No, this is not a spaghetti recipe. Truth be told I'm an atrocious cook. On a good day I can scramble some eggs. Baking is where I shine.

So, no...this isn't about food. This is about Spaghetti: the story.

It's not very long. Only 1,663 words. But for me they're an important 1,663 words.

First: the concept. "Harry's friends don't approve of Snarry." It's an idea I'd long wanted to portray.

Snarry can be a bit of a controversial ship in the real world. I imagine it'd be even more so in the Wizarding World. Even to Harry's friends. The controversial nature of it is one of the many things that draw me in! And I see so few stories exploring that very specific issue.

Harry's friends love him. They trust him, mostly. They want to support him. But they won't necessarily agree with everything he does. And if they think he's in trouble...if they think he's being manipulated, or used; if they think he's being reckless, and foolish...they're going to tell him. They're not going to smile placidly and pretend everything is okay.

They know Harry. And they know Snape. Of course they're going to have a reaction.

Relatedly: friendship dynamics. Taking a step back, not just focusing on the Snarry of it all, friendship is as ripe for drama and misunderstandings as romances. People are not bad friends for having their own minds, and not reacting the way we want them to. And even if your friends are in the wrong, that doesn't mean they acted out of malice.

Human relationships are complicated and difficult and weird.

I needed to explore that. Both the friendship hiccups and the Snarry reaction.

Harry knows people are going to have Opinions about his relationship with Snape. He is aware that between his fame, Severus' infamy, and their antagonist history, there are going to be a lot of questions raised. That's why (here) they've kept the relationship secret for so long. To protect it. To put off the inevitable and enjoy their time together.

Telling his friends is the first step. And he knows it isn't going to go well. But that doesn't stop him hoping. That doesn't mean he wants to deal with the questions, the doubts, the judgment.

Importantly, Harry's friends love him. They truly do. And they don't know any better. They have their own views of Snape, their own memories of him. Of course they're shocked.

I like to believe they'll come around one day. It might not be right away. It won't be an easy transition for anyone involved. But out of love for Harry...I like to think they'll keep a wary eye on matters until they see for themselves how real it is.

I like to think that. But I didn't really resolve matters here, did I?

The first draft for this story began during NaNoWriMo 2020. I still have the original in my 2020 NaNoWriMo Scrivener file. I jumped around to various projects that year. Some saw the light of day soon after. Right Now (One Day) I wrote and posted same day. Romantic Notions I spruced up in time for December. The whole Christmas in Hogsmeade series was written and posted that year.

But for Spaghetti...I poked and prodded. I'd leave it to work in another fic, then return to poke and prod some more. I couldn't quite make it work. (fun fact: Neville and Luna featured in the original, and it took place in a pub, rather than Hermione and Ginny's flat.)

It wasn't until June 2021 that I took the essence of what I had and breathed new life into it.

Because...

Second: real life friend issues.

You may or may not know that I escaped a pretty toxic and painful fandom space in 2021. In June of that year I was neck deep in it. I had no idea, at the time, that it could possibly get worse. (Spoiler alert: it got much worse.)

At that time, I felt...lonely. Achingly lonely. The sort of awful loneliness you only feel surrounded by other people. I was overburdened; swallowing down my own pain, and accepting the judgment of others. I cried nearly every day. I was having frequent panic attacks. I was legitimately terrified of interacting with my so-called friends.

It was...a very bad time, to put it mildly.

Just keep trying, I told myself. Keep working on it. Stay strong.

They’re your friends, they love you.

I told myself over and over. That we were friends. That they cared. But so much despair was pent up inside, with nowhere to put it. My friends were too caught up in their own correctness to listen to my hurt, or my perspective.

Maybe they’d understand, if they listened. But they aren’t listening. They’re telling him things he already knows.

Talking, and trying, didn't do me any good. However hard I tried, they were determined to misunderstand me, to twist my words; resolute in their beliefs, unwilling to be swayed.

I was so, so desperate to be heard.

There was no one for me to talk to. There was nowhere safe to turn. When one is buddies with a BNF there is no where to turn. When there is an imbalance of power, you're sort of screwed. I couldn't talk to just anyone about the issues at play. No one could understand without all of the details. And when it came to our mutual friends, well...

Let's just say...no one was listening.

I typed out several messages I would never send. I have a long history of trauma associated with talking. It's hard to talk to people when your words have always been weaponized against you. And though I tried to push past that trauma for said friends, well...The same tactics my abuser used against me were employed by them. I was legitimately terrified. And in my dealings with them, old wounds were ripped open.

The mantra of "They’re your friends, they love you..." replayed in my mind over and over. And eventually I scrapped my messages and began a story.

It wasn't my story, exactly. It wasn't a play by play of the issues I'd been having. But it was my story, in some ways. The fear of opening up to people you should trust, because you know -- you know -- it isn't going to go well. And hoping against hope that you're wrong. It's the bitterness of opening up and being shut down. The irritation of trying to get a word in edgewise when people have already made up their minds. It's the temporary disgust and hatred of people you love. It's feeling so betrayed, and feeling ridiculous.

The story was always meant to be open ended, but the original version was meant to end on a more hopeful note. The original was an outsider's POV, not Harry's. And by the end, at least one of the outsiders would feel guilty for how it all plays out.

In the state I was in, I didn't have the heart to give it that much resolution.

That same mantra opens and closes the story.

In my case...I'm not so sure it was true. For months after, my own situation worsened. And never, not once, did they really hear me out. The pain I felt in June was nowhere near the agony I felt by November, when I finally cut my losses and fled.

In Harry's case...I have more hope for Ron and Ginny and Hermione. I know they mean well and want what's best for Harry. And I really, truly believe they can get there one day.

This Making Of is, perhaps, a bit too personal. But this story itself is a deeply personal one. For all of the stories I've written that have reflected my own thoughts and feelings, that have acted as therapy for pain I've been dealt, I had never, until then, written a story so intimately associated with current issues. And I haven't since. Writing is a way of revisiting old wounds. It is a way of looking back, and working through, matters that have left a scar. Rarely do I dare delve into an open wound.

Spaghetti might not look like much, but it's a very special case. Part nostalgia; for an old idea, an ongoing desire finally put into words. And part diary; a very real reflection of what I was dealing with at the time it was written.

#personal #writing #meta #danpuff writes #the making of #spaghetti #mentions of abuse #friendship drama

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king-there0f · 1 year

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🖊 🖊 🖊 for you!! free spaces for three different kiddos (or just three facts about one! up to you!) :D @kerra-and-company

Aw thank you so much!

Lets give these kiddos a chance to shine. Under the cut are some snippets about 🖊Kerxsus, 🖊Meena, and 🖊Asphreah

🖊KERXSUS

I never talk about him which is a shame because of all my salads, he might have my favorite design. He is based on three plants in particular, those being a begonia maculata, maple and japanese maple, as well as the red burning bush plant.

I just love red plants.

Kerxsus was my first monochromatic sylvari design, though yellow and green feature as well, his color palette is predominately red. He is my autumnal salad and he's been on my mind a lot lately since I live in a place where maple trees are abundant. There are so many beautiful changing colors right now and so many different shades of reds and oranges and yellows and muddy greens. Muah, chefs kiss. Best season.

Kerxsus is an odd egg. He met a Nightmare Courtier very early upon waking and was intrigued by their sympathetic nature. He does not get very caught up in right VS wrong. He thinks the courtiers have their place. He doesn't like things that are overly dogmatic though, so joining as a formal member never held much appeal to him.

He has a fascination for insects and arachnids, and keeps several as odd pets. He's a bit of a mad scientist type and is constantly experimenting and testing new poisons and antidotes and solutions and solvents and isn't always the most discerning about what or who he tests them on.

He loves shiny things and likes to adorn himself with pretty gems. Sometimes he goes to what some might call extreme measures to acquire pretty shiny things. Very nearsighted. probably a monsterfucker. He likes a specimen.

🖊MEENA

My beautiful Not-Norn baby. The youngest of all my GW2 characters (not counting sylvari since they are basically born adults) Meena is in the 17-20 ish range. I haven't worked out a ton for her yet so I haven't nailed down the specifics.

But I'd love to spend more time with her character! Her color palette is very inspired by Lady Amalthia from The Last Unicorn, which is one of my favorite movies. And I really love her design - she's fun to draw!

Meena is a human who was found abandoned as a baby in the shiverpeaks and was adopted by a loving Norn couple who desperately wanted a child and felt the spirits of the wild blessed them when they found her. They assumed that a child that could survive such extreme temperatures long enough to be found bust be a Norn, so they never questioned it. She was raised like a Norn, though she never got quite as tall as her peers. Her dad's love her very much and fret over her constantly.

I have a couple different comics drafted for their family. One being of her dad's finding her for the first time. Hopefully I'll get that actually finished someday haha ; ;

I like the idea of her general vibe feeling somewhat fairy-tale or folklore-ish. There's some mystery surrounding where exactly she came from and how she didn't die as an infant in the snow and I would love to delve more into that. I feel like there are a lot of opportunities for some fun environmental pieces and warm cozy illustrations of her and her dads.

🖊ASPHREAH

They're based on a Purple Queen plant, which my Grandmom always had in her garden!

Their name is a combination of the words Asphyxiate and Freya.

They are more attractive than you and they know it.

While not an official member of the Nightmare Court, they might do the odd job for them every now and again. More of an independent contractor kind of deal. They despise the idea of working under anyone long term. It's simply beneath them.

Asphreah appreciates fine fancy clothes and things that look fashionable and expensive and they dress themselves like they want to be noticed. They wear lavish materials that they hate to dirty or stain and will consider murder over a spilled drink.

When contracted or asked for favors they will accept payment in the form of rare out of print books of poetry and they keep an extensive library of books and manuscripts worth a frankly ungodly amount of money.

They're most definitely a wine snob. They're a snob about most things actually. They hate having things chosen for them because other people are more likely to make shit choices. Unless, of course the choice being made is in their favor.

Absolutely the kind of person who flirts and convinces you to dump your partner to date them, only to dump you not long after because they only wanted to prove they could make you fall for them.

They would rather not perform strenuous tasks, preferring to convince other people to handle things for them.

All in all, not a very nice person, but certainly one that knows their own worth.

#original character #ask game #asksksksk #gw2

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postalninja · 2 years

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A ⭐ for you :)

Things I can think of, in no particular order!

The Meaning of Family: In this story I introduced H'aanit and Olberic's daughter as an original character, so of course I needed to give that baby a name! I wanted something that was in the style of S'warkii but referenced both her parents. I actually ended up dreaming the name B'renit - I guess my subconscious was working on the problem, and it came up with the perfect answer! I also had to pick a name for the family's new animal companion, and since Linde is of German/Dutch/Scandinavian origin, that's where I focused my research and found Lieven, which is Dutch and means 'dear friend'. Seemed pretty perfect, so I went with it! Ballade No.1 in G minor: This story was my assignment for Chocolate Box, and I was so excited to write it because I was once a music major and writing slashfic about Romantic Era composers seemed like a lot of fun! But I got too in my head about doing historical research at first, so I had to get over that feeling of not knowing enough before I was able to just hammer it out. Also, I kind of want to share this story with my uncle some day, because he is an opera singer and also gay, so I feel like he would be able to appreciate it! :)

Changing Fate: One of the many plot ideas provided to me by my partner. He is my idea-man, always suggesting scenarios that make me go "Damn! I need to write that!" and this fic was entirely one of those instances. Fun fact: he also writes really, really well, but doesn't do it often if at all because he is so in his head about it that he doesn't enjoy doing it (I often describe it as him taking half an hour to write a one paragraph email, which isn't actually an exaggeration). But I will just go ahead and bang out a first draft in 20 minutes and not question it until I edit. So it's a win-win, though I feel like I'm getting the better part of the deal because he is so much better at plot stuff than I am.

Would She Love Me if She Knew?: When I was planning out this story and knew that I wanted to introduce the prince of the Cliftlands as a villain, I originally considered making him be Therion. But I was hesitant, because he is such a fan favorite, and I didn't want the fandom to come after me with torches and pitchforks. But then I thought, why not make him Darius, a character that everyone already hates?, and I came up with a different idea for incorporating Therion instead.

A Reason To Stay: I posted this fic, my first for the Auron/Lulu pairing, with accompanying fanart, but I believe I had started working on the drawing first. I had already drawn some Aurlu smut (posted under the title Words Are Not Enough) and wanted to make another piece for them since I was in the midst of my shipping obsession with them. So while I was writing the fic, I kept the logistics of the drawing and the pose in mind as I was writing the love scene between them.

I could keep going, but that is probably more than anyone actually wants to read already, hahaha!

#director's commentary #ask meme #cajunandfire #octopath traveler #final fantasy x #chrono trigger #postal ninja fanfic

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bobariri · 4 years

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chapter summary: it turns out america isn't the only one who treats their foreigners differently, but erika thought it probably was just a facet of human nature, in the end.

notes: hsdfkdhsfds more word vomit i wish i knew what i was doing with this series tbh LMAO anyway liu wei... ur hair was hard to draw

#knb #liu wei #yosen #kuroko no basket #knb oc #fun fact: this isn't the first draft i had for the drawing #the first drawing was a different perspective of the same scene #BUT MY LAPTOP BLUE SCREENED #and i didnt SAVE #so i lost the original #but.... i like this version better tbh #so maybe a blessing in disguise #parables of yosen

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subbe93 · 2 years

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All I want for Christmas...

A/N: Like I told in The Roulette of Destiny chapter 13, sadly, this is going to "replace" this week's chapter, because I really wanted to write some kind of Christmas fic :) And I kind of wanted this to be my Christmas present for all of you ❤

I made a little research and learned that in Japan, Christmas isn't as a big deal as it is in Finland which was kind of sad, because my first draft was based on the Christmas that we spend in Finland. But I also learned that Chrismas eve is the most romantic day of the year in Japan if you know where I'm going with this ;D

I also want to thank my friend @joa9457 who drew a picture based on this fic. I was touched when she asked if she could draw something, and of course, I wanted to include it with the story :) Thank you so much ❤

But now: Happy and peaceful Christmas for all of you! I hope you all have relaxing and enjoyable holidays ❤

And as a reminder: The next chapter of Roulette of Destiny is coming out 2.1.2022! Sorry again for delaying it!

All I want for Christmas...

Shinichi has known Sonoko for as long as he cared to remember. She was an annoying rich girl who always looked after boys and teased him and Ran for being a couple. It was so irritating, but at this point, Shinichi has heard it too many times that he didn’t even care to get angry or annoyed by it anymore. He knew that the reaction was all that Sonoko wanted because that way she got another reason to make fun of him and Ran.

And maybe, only maybe, Shinichi kind of wished that Sonoko's words would be true. But they weren’t… at least not yet.

But it didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t a nice thing to shout around.

Deep down, Sonoko was a nice girl, and her intentions were always good. This Christmas Sonoko has planned fundraising which collected money and gifts for poor and orphan children. It was a noble and kind cause, and of course, Shinichi took his part. He didn’t tell about it to Sonoko and part of him didn’t like the idea that Ran knew about it, but since she was with him when he was donating some old stuff and some of his allowance (well, since he had told his parents about the charity, they gave him a little extra), there was no point to try to hide it. It was enough that Sonoko wouldn’t get that knowledge because he was pretty sure that she wouldn’t let him be after that. Gosh, she would never let him live down with that.

So, to make Ran keep her mouth shut, he had to make a promise to take her on Christmas eve to some restaurant to eat, walk around the city and buy some gifts, and eat the Christmas cake with her and her father.

Well, making Ran keep her mouth shut was very expensive, but since it was Ran, he would do it. And when he thought about it more, maybe it wasn't a bad idea at all. After she would be ready with their event (since Ran wanted to help Sonoko with it), he would take her to a nice place to eat, and after they had bought some gifts, maybe he could take her somewhere where it would be a nice view to look at all the lights and he would confess to her. It would be romantic, at least Shinichi thought so, and he knew that Ran liked that kind of thing. Though there was a chance that Ran didn't feel the same, and it would destroy that romantic atmosphere at once, but it was a risk that he was willing to take.

But what Shinichi didn't consider was the fact, that with Sonoko, nothing went as she had planned. Those were rare occasions that her plans worked out, and surprisingly, this one wasn’t on that list.

Shinichi was very aware of their plans: They got permission to use kindergarten as the place where they would meet those children on Christmas eve. Sonoko's father had promised to be Santa Claus, sit on the armchair, and take those poor and orphan children one by one to sit on his lap, asking questions, then he would give them a present and if they would like to, they could take a picture as a memory. After that, they would go to another room where would be a chance to enjoy some hot juice and gingerbreads (that Ran and Sonoko had made) before leaving.

Sadly, Sonoko’s father came sick a day before the event. Of course, it was no one’s fault since no one could be prepared for getting cold and no one can’t get rid of their sickness in one night.

That also meant that Sonoko and Ran needed to find a new Santa Claus, and fast.

Which was the reason why Shinichi sat on that big armchair in Santa Claus costume and took every child on their own turn to sit on his lap.

It was embarrassing. He was a detective, not an actor or... or... well, whoever wanted to get dressed as another character! He cursed in his mind Ran's father just because he knew that the old man could have done this job instead of him, but just because that drunkard had been "wishing Merry Christmas to his favorite bars" last night and was sleeping soundly, Shinichi didn't have any other choices than wake up early in the morning and let Ran drag him in here.

Well, it wasn't like Shinichi himself had better things to do, but... still.

Gosh, he really hoped that none of their classmates wouldn’t pay a visit. He would be a lucky one if Sonoko would let him down with this, but his classmates? They would never forget this.

At least his only relief was that Ran was the one who stood beside him with a present sack, listening to what he was talking about with the children, and without anyone noticing, she searched for something suitable before giving the present to Shinichi. Luckily those children kept him busy because he had seen the Christmas dresses that Sonoko had bought herself and Ran, and as much as he wanted to appreciate it, he also cursed Sonoko to the deep under the ground. Why on the earth she had decided that Ran (like he cared what Sonoko was wearing) needed to wear a dress which didn't even reach her knees and neckline showed a little too much?! Luckily Ran had a little red cape with white outlines on her bare shoulders, which hid a little more of her skin... But still!

Shinichi wondered if Ran knew how hard she had made this for him. He almost wanted to claim that this should be a payment enough for her to keep her mouth shut about his donating, but in the end, it wasn't completely Ran’s fault that he was in this situation. If she hadn’t been the one who had prayed for his help…

Gosh, every time! Why was it so hard to say no to her?

Hah, even if he could say no to her, he doubted if he would.

But after some time, meeting all those children, it started to be easier and went smoothly. He got his constant questions, and since he got hold of acting like a Santa Claus, he didn’t even need to think about it. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but seeing those children leaving with happiness, made him happy too. Well, it wasn’t as thrilling as searching for evidence and cornering the culprit with his deduction, but this was a good and nice thing to do. And he was part of the reason why those, who wouldn’t have much, got even a little something for Christmas.

The clock started to be close to three, and the event started to come to its end. The last children stood up and went to their parents to show them a present before they went together to the next room to take something to eat before leaving. Shinichi was kind of happy that the day was over because even if he had a few breaks from sitting on that armchair and got a chance to move a little, it felt like he had a long day behind him. It was a pretty hard job to be Santa Claus.

He stood up relieved and stretching was the first thing he did. It felt so good, and it would be better as soon as he would get his fake beard and that Christmas hat away…

“Shinichi, wait!”

Shinichi turned to look at Ran. She had folded one of the sacks away and looked at him with a questioning look on her face.

“What?” he asked and relaxed.

“Can you just… sit still?”

“Why?” Shinichi asked and felt already annoyed. His job here was done, right? Hasn't he sat down long enough for today? And after two hours, he would be sitting again, with her, at that restaurant that he made the reservation. “Isn’t my job here done already?”

“Yeah, but…”

Ran lowered her gaze and looked so bothered.

“But?” Shinichi asked.

“But… I have never sat on Santa Claus’ lap and wished anything…”

He just stared at her. He wasn’t sure at all that he had heard her right. “What?”

“You heard me right”, Ran shouted embarrassment without meeting his eyes. “I have never done that!”

“Aaaand?” Shinichi asked slowly. “What can I do about that?”

“God, do I need to say it out loud, you idiot?” Ran snorted out before stepping in front of him and pushing him enough that he took a step backward. His calf touched the armchair which made him fall back to sit on it. He barely had time to take a better position when something heavy set on his thighs. Shinichi tried to stop his surprised inhale when Ran's body pressed closer to his, and as soon as he saw some of her skin in his view, he looked away. Actually, he started to be happy that he didn’t have time to take that fake beard away because right now it hid half of his red face. And apparently, the situation didn’t get any better when he felt her left arm wrapping around his neck.

“Ran”, he got out from his mouth. He raised his gaze at her, trying to leer at her to tell her how annoyed he was right now.

“Come on, Shinichi”, Ran pleaded and flapped her eyelashes. “This one time, please?”

“I’m not Santa Claus, you know”, Shinichi muttered and looked around like trying to find a way to escape from this. "And I already promised to pay the restaurant and buy you something..."

“I'm not asking anything more you to buy”, Ran interrupted. “But you were so good with kids, they loved you so much. You made them happy.”

Shinichi felt his cheeks burning. Yeah, he had seen those happy faces and he was happy that he was the one who had done it, but hearing it from Ran’s mouth…

"So... is it too much to ask that you would still play that part? One more time?"

“But they were kids…”

"For me?"

"Ran..."

“Please, Shinichi…”

“No”, he said. “I’m not Santa Claus, I can’t make any wishes come true…”

“I know, and more importantly, that's not the point”, Ran answered. “But please, I have never done that and I want… at least once in my life…”

Shinichi was ready to tell her to go find her Santa Claus somewhere else. In the end, they were going to the city after this and he was pretty sure that in some shopping malls, there could be Santa Clauses still waiting for children to come to meet them. But when he made his mistake and looked at those beautiful and begging orchid eyes, he was already gone. Gosh, that girl didn’t have to do anything else than just show her smile, begging eyes, or… or… actually, never mind that. Ran didn’t even have to do anything, it was enough that Shinichi looked at her and he was a goner.

He was so weak.

“Fiiiiine”, he sighed and tried to straighten himself a little more, making Ran move a little. “But we’re not talking about this when we are done. Never. Okay?”

Ran shouted shrilly as an answer before letting herself sit back on his lap. Shinichi tried his best to relax since he had taken a good position to be, but the truth was, as long as Ran was the one who sat on his lap, he couldn’t feel comfortable at all. It was like he had a porcelain wase in his arms which could be broken anytime... Though he was pretty sure that from the two of them, he was the one who could break any time. So, carefully and a little reluctantly he wrapped his arm around her waist.

Okay, he just needed to focus. It was only Ran, his childhood friend. There was no reason to be nervous around her because it seemed that she wasn’t either. It wasn’t so uncommon that they were this close to each other…

Except this wasn't fine at all! Normally they were standing or sitting beside each other. She could have held his arm, been close to him, but it was okay, those were normal things. But now? She was on his lap! She was all over him! Closer than normally! And there was no way that he could leave without making her mad.

This wouldn’t take too long, he promised to himself. He would be fast.

“So, little one…” Shinichi started like he had done with those children, trying to keep his voice deeper than normal, but looking at smiling Ran, he knew that he couldn’t do this. He sighed. “Okay, that sounded so wrong…”

“Just keep going.”

Shinichi rolled his eyes before taking a deep breath to continue.

“So, little miss… What is your name?”

“Mouri Ran”, she answered brightly, like she really had been a child. As much as Shinichi wanted to think that he was happy to make one of Ran’s wishes come true, it still felt so stupid.

“Ran-san…” It was so weird to call her like that. “Have you been a good girl this year?”

“I think I have”, she answered leaning a little closer to him, which made Shinichi only more uncomfortable. “I have looked after my father, who sometimes has hard times, but I have tried to be at his side when he needs me to be. I have also made sure that my childhood friend is surviving while his parents are overseas, and when he has a big urge to play detective…”

“Haa, haa, Ran”, Shinichi commented dryly.

“Aaand”, she continued like he hadn’t said anything, “I have tried to be kind and nice to everyone. I have helped those who had needed or asked for it. So… I think I have been a good girl.”

And that was the truth, and Shinichi knew it even if she hadn't said it. Ran was always nice and kind to everyone, no matter what. She always lends her helping hand to everyone who needed help. She was so selfless. Ran would deserve everything she ever wishes for, but since she was selfless, she would probably give all her wishes to someone else, to someone who would need them more than she. If Shinichi only could, he would make all her wishes come true.

“It sounds like you have been very nice this year”, he said eventually. “Now then, what would you like to wish for Christmas?”

The arm behind his neck moves, but Shinichi tried to ignore it. Ran smiled and looked away. Shinichi wasn't sure if he saw a light blush on her cheeks since there was colorful Christmas light around them...

“I… I should wish peace and happiness in the whole world, right?” She let out a laugh.

Shinichi wasn’t surprised.

“Noble thing to wish”, he said and part of him wanted to tell her that there was no way that he could grant that wish, as much as he would like to, but at the same time, he thought that Santa Claus wouldn’t say something like that, and he at this point, he didn’t want to ruin this moment. If this was so important to Ran, he wanted to give it to her - even if he wasn't comfortable with this. “But if you could wish something for yourself, and only to yourself, what would it be?”

“Anything?”

As much as Shinichi wanted to say yes, he knew that he probably couldn’t. Though Ran knew that they weren't doing this because she could wish impossible from him, but at the same time, Shinichi knew that Ran was a pretty humble girl. She probably wouldn't ask much, so there was a chance that he could grant that wish. Well, it also depended on how much he got remained from his allowance after the restaurant, but he promised himself that if it would be something he could afford and find, he would give it to her.

“Anything”, he promised.

"Anything”, she repeated like thinking and looked away. When Shinichi started to think that he needs to speed things up, he heard her mumbling something.

“What did you say?” he asked.

“I…” she turned to look at him, and she seemed to be so nervous. Gosh, she looked so cute with her puppy eyes, with that unsure smile, with light red cheeks... “I… would like to… have… you…”

Shinichi just stared at those orchid eyes, and he wasn’t sure if he had heard her right.

“You…” he repeated unsure, trying to fully understand what she had said. Did he miss some of her words? “You… mean..?”

The arm behind his neck moved. He felt fingers on his neck hair which wasn't hidden under his Christmas hat, and before he had even registered that in his brain, something moved his fake beard down enough that he felt something on his lips.

And that something was Ran’s soft lips.

As many wishes as he has wished, he never had dared to hope something like this. Even when he was feeling her with all his instincts, he was still doubting that he was dreaming this whole thing. Soon he would wake up and realise that he was only dreaming.

Except he wasn't...

He realised that he needed to do something. Even if there were too many feelings and thoughts in his head trying to fully understand what was happening, some part of him knew strongly that he needed to act. And since Ran was the one who made the first move...

He gave himself permission to fall for it. Slowly he closed his eyes and made sure that those lips on his has no reason to be unsure of being there. If this was what she wanted for... If this was what she wished for...

And when he felt her fingers on his cheek, others on his hair, and her lips dancing braver with his, he knew that he had gotten the best gift for Christmas. He didn't even care to count how many times he had stolen glances of her lips, wondering what they would taste, dreamed how they would feel, but nothing he had thought didn't match with the reality. It was much, much better, and feeling them coming back to his, touching his again, asking more…

Click.

He moved away fast and looked in the direction of the voice.

“Oh, sorry!” a familiar voice said before Shinichi properly realised who was it. “I thought that this was in silent mode…”

“Sonoko!”

“Whaaat, that was a perfect photo of your first kiss”, a light brown-haired girl smiled and looked mischievous while she started to move to the closest doorway. “But it seems I interrupted something important here, so I’m just leaving, you two just continue…”

“SONOKO!” Ran shouted again and stood up before Shinichi even realised it, running after Sonoko who laughed while running away. Both of them disappeared from the next door, leaving Shinichi alone there, still sitting on that armchair. He was still processing everything that had happened in the last two minutes… or three? Well, he wasn’t even sure if last minutes was even true.

But he still felt her fingers on his neck, other ones on his cheek, and soft, warm lips on his. They were his proves that it had happened.

Well, not precisely only ones since it seemed that Sonoko had taken her own proof.

He smiled before standing up and taking off his fake beard and Christmas hat. He could already imagine how much it would take to get rid of Sonoko after they have cleaned up the place. He wasn't sure how much Ran had told their plans to Sonoko, but if that girl knows that they were going to eat and do some shopping...

He hoped that Sonoko would read the situation and understand that they wanted to be together. In the end, there would be much to talk about and... Well, as scary as it somehow was, he still wanted to verify that Ran had meant what she had wished for since part of him was a little scared that he had just dreamed it.

But there was still one problem: If that was really her wish for Christmas, how could he give her something that she has had all these years?

#ShinRan #Christmas fic #Detective Conan #Shinichi Kudo #Ran Mouri #Sonoko Suzuki #Fanfiction #Happy Christmas everyone!

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