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#give me more Kim scenes you cowards!!
banannasposts · 4 months
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There are only two episodes of Pit Babe left and I am not too worried 'cause Kim is finally free and well rested so he is ready to get shit done.
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wannaeatramyeon · 11 months
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Word quantity: high. Word quality: low. You have been warned.
Goo Kim x Reader: School Days with Princess & the Delinquent
Chapter 3 - Please read chapter 1 first!
Index: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Epilogue
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It's only a couple weeks later, when Goo hasn't seen you at lunch, when you haven't reprimanded him for his sloppy uniform, and not even said a word to him.
That's when it gets to him.
It's no surprise that you're scared. People like you are gutless and weak. Running away in the face of violence, not understanding and not wanting to understand how the grimy underbelly of the world works.
Goo was mistaken to think you could be interesting when you stood up to him on his first day about his uniform.
He hates being wrong.
.
.
Goo Kim doesn't have friends. 
Acquaintances at best, who know him at surface level but never more than that. He holds his cards too close to his chest to let anyone in.
You were never a friend, not by any stretch of the imagination.
He knows he pisses you off. Revels in it, in fact.
Still, it's a routine he had gotten used to. Only being human after all, and humans do like routine. He doesn't miss you, just needs to adapt his lunch times to something else.
Even as he considers this, he can't help wondering about you. 
What are you doing and where are you hiding.
Are you making any progress or still as dumb as ever. 
If you make your feelings of contempt with anyone else so obvious. 
He has seen the murderous glint in your eye when he points out your mistakes and it warms his heart.
.
.
Goo finds himself stealing glances at you when you're in classes together. It's far more exciting than listening to the teacher droning on.
Studies the shape of your back, the colour of your hair. Memorises the gait of your walk, not realising it's all seared into his brain until it's too late.
.
.
"Are you ok?"
Taking small, tentative steps, you approach Goo sitting on the sidewalk. Bodies scattered around him and him, for the first time since you've met, looking worse for wear.
Disoriented and blood trickling from his scalp, Goo can barely hear you over the ringing in his ears. You repeat yourself a few more times before he registers your presence.
Adrenaline still coursing through his veins and reacting automatically at the foreign presence seated besides him, he raises the baseball bat-
His body recognises you before his foggy brain can, movement stilling when he sees your eyes widening and you flinching, knowing there's no way you can move out the way and almost bracing for impact.
"Oh," Goo lowers the weapon, "It's you."
"It's me," you repeat pointlessly. He can hear the tremble in your voice.
With a sigh, he removes his glasses, cleaning them with his torn shirt. "What do you want?"
You think about how stupid your question is, considering what the scene looks like. But you ask once more, "Are you ok?"
Goo spits out a mouthful of blood and you wrinkle your nose. He gives you his trademark oily smile. "Princess, I'm A-OK!"
"Oh... that's good then." You want to facepalm your inane responses.
"Anyway," he places his glasses back on and pouts. Another typical Goo Kim expression. "Didn't I offend your delicate sensibilities the other week with my fighting?"
You bite your lip, considering your response. Then, realising there's no point in lying, "Not... offended. I-" you rack your brain to see if there was a way to make you sound any less of a coward but- "I'm scared of you."
"Shame. That hurts my feelings," Goo quickly moves on, realising there is the tiniest grain of truth in what was supposed to be a sarcastic statement and not knowing how to deal with that, "And we were starting to get so close."
"We were?!"
"You know," he peers over the top of his frames, "We could have really been something."
You start to stammer some sort of reply. Before you manage any comprehensible words, you're cut off by Goo's hyena laugh. A bit too loud and a bit too jarring though it is still good to hear again. You smile, and don't bother to hide it. 
Nevertheless, you're still worried about him.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" 
"Princess, I'm good." 
Goo dusts off his knees, now fully recovered and stands up-
Your hand shoots out, grabbing onto his wrist and yanking him back down.
"Hold on," you rummage around your backpack, "I've got a first aid kit here. Let me patch you up at least."
Of course you have a first aid kit in your bag. Goo chuckles to himself, it just fits you so well.
He is uncharacteristically obedient and silent as you clean up the dried blood and scrapes, leaving him neatly bandaged.
It's the first time anyone has ever done this for him.
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shadowofahope · 2 years
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In Too Deep
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Pairing: Kim Taehyung!xFemale Reader
Warning: swearing, crude language, mentions of fwb, and mentions of intimate sex
Premise: He's your brother's best friend, that's why you let things slide, but he's gone too far. He's crossed too many lines and now he had to accept that his regular excuses weren't good enough. One hell of a wake-up call to realize just how deep he was in.
word count: 4.1K
Authors notes: I had originally planned this one to contain smut, but no matter how I wrote it it didn't feel quite right. HOWEVER, if you all want a part two with the smut..... I am more than willing to indulge.
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Loud footsteps boom through your apartment as you throw the door open, heels flying off. Marching over to the couch and throwing your work bag down you spin around rage all but consuming you. Every breath coming out ragged, body trembling from sheer outrage. The man following behind you drags his feet, closing the door after you, head down sheepishly avoiding eye contact.
If he was going to act like a man-child at your workplace, unasked for might you add, he could at least take his consequences and the brutal chastising he was about to get like an adult. 
“What the actual hell do you think you’re doing?” You can’t keep your voice calm, you can’t keep your mind calm. Everything in your being is ready to punch this beautiful man in his stupid beautiful face. 
He stands there silently, still not making eye contact. His shaggy hair covers your line of sight to his eyes. 
‘Coward’ your brain supplies you in his silence. 
“He wanted to sleep with you.” He eventually mutters out. 
Your mouth drops open. He did not just say that. Please lord help you, he did not just say that. 
“He wanted to…” Completely dumbfounded. This has to be the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. “...sleep with me”
“He was trying to get lucky. He was getting all handsy with you.” Finally finding his excuses, eyes coming to rest on yours. “I heard him bragging to his friend about how he was getting laid tonight. There was no way I was going to let a sleeze talk about you like that.”
This was his justification? THIS is why he caused a scene at your work? Almost getting into a fight with a customer and being escorted out by security. You had managed to talk to the owners of the club you work at and apologize profusely. Only a warning was given thankfully as you had been one of their favorite waitresses and hype dancers since starting over a year ago, bringing in a good chunk of regulars to their VIP lounge area. 
He had to be fucking joking right now. 
“First of all, you don’t get to tell me who I can and can't sleep with.” Your voice comes out like acid, finger pointing at him viciously. “Secondly, it’s my job to make them believe they have a chance. That's how they tip well and keep coming back. I was doing my job! And I was doing it well until you had to neanderthal your way into being almost on the permanent blacklist. Not to mention risking my job.”
Exasperation didn’t cut it. Pure imbridadled rage didn’t cut it. This was giving you a migraine. Trying to relieve some pain you rub at your temples. 
“If you don’t like what I’m doing then LEAVE.” You kindly gesture to the front door, eyes now closed due to the increasing throbbing. “My brother said it would be 4 days, why are you still here?” You were exhausted. He was exhausting. 
“Because we realized just how much you fool around, it’s not safe for you like this. We needed to keep an eye on you.” He tries to persuade you. Always trying to be the hero. Something’s never changed. You roll your eyes at his pathetic attempt at passing blame.
“Who is we?” You bite back bitterly. 
“Your brother and I” 
“No. Hell no! My brother already knows what I do, he’s fine with it. Do not pin your weird hyperfixation of us being a family on me.” Great now you were full blown shouting at him. 
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m worried about you, you’re like a sister to me.” His small pleading means nothing to you. You’ve heard this excuse too many times before. 
“YOU’RE NOT MY BROTHER TAEHYUNG!” You scream at him, now turning away from him to walk away. Anything to give yourself room to breathe. 
“I understand you don’t see me as family but- I just want you to be safe. What if something bad happens? I don't understand why you’re being so reckless.” He chastises you as you stomp over toward your large bay window. 
“You know exactly why I do this!” You spin around at him. Your old nickname of Viper coming back full force. You wanted to tear his head off.
“Don’t make this my fault!” His aim at defending himself came out as an unconfident whine.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault! GOD!” Hands scratching at your skelp, you wanted to pull all of your hair out. These double standard rules were driving you crazy.  “I’m saying let me deal with rejection and heartbreak the way I want to! When Ari dumped you, you went on a gym binge for 3 months and opted for one night stands. When my brother was cheated on he never came out of his room for 6 months and slept with a previous ex. Everyone deals with it differently, so let me deal with it.”
“3 years. 3 years you’ve been messing around, never committing to a serious relationship. 3 years of your extreme recklessness. Why aren’t you over this by now?” He scoffs at you. Wait…did he just. The venom returned in full force.
“BECAUSE YOU WON’T LEAVE. I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR 9 YEARS! I FINALLY TELL YOU HOW I FELT AND YOU BRUSH ME OFF WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO THINK ABOUT IT” You let everything out, right into his face, making short work of the room between you. All pent up rage over the years, all the resentment you had for him, as coming out in an almost hysteria. 
“We were only kids….”
“And I was dumb enough think I was special to you. I let myself fall for you and when you were finally 21 I told you my feelings and you said ‘we’re family’ and then introduced me to your girlfriend!” You scream, finally you were addressing it. Finally the elephant in the room was pointed out.  “Do you not understand how aggravating that is?”
“We-” 
“Every time I go home to see my brother and parents, you’re there. Every time my brother visits me, you’re there. I meet up with my brother, you're there. I meet up with our old friends YOU ARE THERE. And now I’ve finally gotten away and distanced myself from you…” You breathe shakily. “You show up at my door needing a place to stay for a couple days.”
“I can’t get over you if you’re in my life. I can’t forget you when every chance you get you meddle into my personal life. Your comments. Your judgements. The way you talk about me to your new friends.” You scoff at him, walking away again to look out of the same window as before. Muttering over your shoulder at his cheap pathetic expression.. “You think I want to keep loving someone who thinks so little of me?”
You laugh bitterly. Some sick joke this is. 
“You’re the one with the preconceived notions. You have no right to talk bad about the people I sleep with.” You can’t let yourself break yet. Not yet. Not when he’s looking at you with disbelief and the smallest hint of disgust. Your arms crossing over your chest, eyes narrowing at the outside world.  “Yes I have friends I occasionally sleep with, but they are still my FRIENDS. We have mutual respect for each other, which is something clearly you and I don’t have.”
You turn to look at him when you hear the floorboards creak under him, his steps heavy. Eyes ablaze with fury? Something you just said made him snap. But what the hell was it? 
“How do you think I feel having to defend you all the time? Most of the guys around town know who you are all because you can’t stop acting like a whore!” His dropping to the deepest parts of his chest. 
You stare at him in disbelief. All need to fight him is gone. You both drown in silence, his words sinking in.
“Get out.” You try to steady your voice. 
“Wait Y/N i didn’t mean-” He pleads.
“Didn’t mean to what Tae? Tell me you're embarrassed to have such a whore of a sister.” Your tongue feels like barbed wire in your mouth as it moves. 
“I-”
“Whatever you thought this was between you and me. Family. A stupid one-sided crush. We’re done. We are nothing anymore, understood?” You slowly walk over, every step in time to your words until you are directly in front of him. 
All he does is stand there, shock all over his face, eyes wide. If you didn’t know better it looked more like he was surprised at himself for saying it, then your reaction. You rip your eyes away from his stunned figure. Neglecting to think further then your need to leave, you stare at your front door.
“Now I’m going to tell you exactly what is going to happen. I’m heading over to Jimin and Hoseoks for the night. YOU are packing your stuff up and finding somewhere else to stay. You will be gone when I get back. And I will never speak to you again.” 
Pushing past him you don't say goodbye or anything else. No looking back to check on him. Slipping your bare feet into your sneakers you leave your apartment. 
‘Don’t break. Don’t break.’ You tell yourself over and over again as you make your way sprinting over to your friend's place. No phone, no keys, no wallet. Nothing, not like you’ll need it anyways. You continue your mantra until you're standing in front of their door, shaking. You’re holding on by a thread and it's not until the door opens and you’re confronted with Hoseok and Jimin’s concerned faces that you finally let yourself break down into a sobbing mess. Two pairs of arms wrap around you instantly, pulling you into the safety of their space. 
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“You called my sister a WHORE? Are you fucking kidding me Taehyung?!” Yoongi barrels into his living room from his office, upon hearing his best friend enter and fussing around in the kitchen. He had just gotten off the phone with Hoseok, who you had told everything to after you stopped crying and fell asleep. 
Out of nowhere Taehyung had showed up at his place a few days ago asking to stay there instead. Yoongi could tell something was wrong, but he was waiting patiently for one of you to explain it to him. Clearly he should have demanded answers sooner.
“It was an accident! It slipped out before I could think clearly.” Visibly shaken by the outburst, his eyes jump to the older, brain scrambled.
“You are so fucking dumb. I thought I knew how dumb you were, but it turns out you are on a whole nother level of stupidity.” Yoongi has always been calm, nothing really makes him raise his voice. Well nothing except things to do with his sister.
“I KNOW!” He can’t defend himself, not from you and definitely not from your brother. “I’m a fucking moron ok?!”
“Not ok. You’ve known her your entire life and somehow your empty fucking head neglects the fact that y/n sleeping around are RUMOURS.” 
“But she’s-”
“Sleeping with Hoseok and Jimin? Yes, but that’s it! Have you ever talked to these guys? Probably not because your ignorant ass cant see passed the fact that she’s actually fucking people.” He’s became friends with both of them soon after you had started spending all your time with them. 
You had started talking about them almost every time yoongi and you went out for dinner. They were obviously really special people in your life. So he had asked you about them, and you had smiled and said that you’d like them. To which that led them to meeting him in person. He easily found them bearable. Both with bright and positive personalities he could see why you had latched onto them. 
But he wasn’t stupid or blind and the three of you didn’t try to hide anything either.
“It’s not that I thought she wouldn’t. I was just mad that she wasn’t being careful. I just wanted her to find a nice guy and settle down! Is that so wrong?”  Taehyung truly believes every word he’s saying. He’s just looking out for you.
“Being careful? Settling down? How many one night stands have you had in the last 6 months Tae? How many relationships have you been in for the 3 years? Hell what about me?” Yoongi reasons with him. One thing he knows almost as much as his sister is his bestfriend. Even if his bestfriend is too blind to notice.“You don’t get to call my sister a whore just because you're jealous!”
“Jealous?”Taehyung hesitates, the wheels in his head turning. “Of what?”
“For fuck sakes Tae. I really hoped you would figure your shit out. You’re so fucking dense when it comes to Y/n.” 
The confusion sets in on his face, brows and nose scrunching. What was he dense about? What the hell was Yoongi on about. He wanted you to be safe. Be with someone who knew you, inside and out. Who could treasure you in every chance they’d get. Look after you when your anxiety got too much, knew what you’d need. Be ready to suffer at the end of your viper tongue, handling your blunt and independent demands. Reassure you that you are the most beautiful being in the universe. Someone that would check all the boxes of what you deserve from a partner. 
He had high expectations of who ever wanted to be with you, what was so wrong with that?
“You’re in love with her.” Yoongi fights himself not to smack Taehyung, when the others' eyes shoot to him in utter skepticism. “Don't give me any of the family bullshit you try to shove down her throat. It’s pathetic how hard you push it. You’re pissed because after all this time you are in love with her and she is doing her damned best to move on from you. Including fucking her friends.”
“But she’s your sister! And you’re my best friend! Of course I’d see her as my sister too.”
That wasn’t a proper rebuttal. Yoongi let’s it slide for now. Staring down Taehyung from across the kitchen. This man needed a wakeup call, and Yoongi was gonna give him a hell of a ride through actualization-vill. 
“You don’t get to use that as an excuse, just because she’s my sister. She’s my sister to worry about, not yours!” 
His immediate dismissal set Taehyung's jaw on edge. Shoulders tense, hands into fists before his own outburst, “How can you say that? I’ve always had your back when you were protecting her from those idiots trying to get with her. You’re extremely protective of her.”
“You’ve only had my back because it meant keeping other people away from her. Stop using me as an excuse for how you feel. I know my sister, better than anyone, just like I know you. Just admit it to yourself already.”
“I’m not-“ He can’t find the words. He can’t bring himself to. How was he supposed to make Yoongi see…
“Not what? Not in love with her… or not worth her love?” Yoongi sighs, eyes softening. Empathy now shining in them, he crosses the room to make his friend listen, to make him see. Hand coming to rest on the tallers shoulder.
“She-“
“She’s been in your life since you can remember. She’s the only female that has supported you 100% of the time, through every tough decision. She’s never once asked you to change. She’s never once demanded anything from you. She was there when your parents were fighting. She was there when you had surgery. She was there when you had no place to go. She was there when you needed someone to cry to.” His voice comes out calm again.
“…but she’s your sister and I’m-“ His last attempt barely is above a whisper.
“The one person that would make her truly happy. And that’s what I want for her. To be happy, besides if that makes my best friend happy too, that's a bonus. But you need to LET yourself accept this. No one is saying you can’t be in love with her or be with her. Only you are fighting this. Only you are telling yourself you can't have her when she’s right there, willing and wanting to be yours. Open your eyes Taehyung before she closes them for you forever.”
Patting his shoulder Yoongi leaves Taehyung alone in the kitchen, Taehyung watching him retreat back to his office. And for the first time he truly lets himself think about what Yoongi and you have said to him. So much conflict running through his mind and heart.
“Shit…” 
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Requested champagne in hand, black strappy heels clicking on the dark marbled tiles. Black leather shirt draping off your shoulders, body-con dress fitting you just right. Tonight was a Friday night, one of your busiest nights thankfully this was your last room of the night, once this party was done you could go home and snuggle into your fluffy blankets and cozy pajamas. Playing the part, skin aglow, welcome smile plastered on your makeup perfected face. Your 3rd Friday since you last saw Taehyung, your smile hides the pain you still felt but it was a welcome distraction nonetheless. 
You stall yourself in front of the VIP ROOM door. Deep breath. Shoulders back. Smile bright. 
You give the door a knock before entering. 
“Good evening Gentlemen, I have brought you the champagne you requ-” 
Lungs on fire, contradicting your now frozen body, eyes trained on the back of a single figure staring out at the rest of the club. His broad shoulders and shaggy hair, backlit by the lights from the stage and dance floor. Why did he have to look so agonizingly beautiful in his snug black slacks and silk dress shirt. Damnit, that was the same shirt you bought him a couple of birthdays ago. 
2 steps in the door, still you could run. You should run. 
You can’t run.
“What are you doing here?!” Finding your voice, it comes out a little more gravely then you had hoped. 
“I just want to talk” Sheepish warm brown eyes look at you, they take in your appearance. Your whole appearance. 
Music booms behind you through the open door, you barely can hear him. Regardless it still makes you itch, anger festering deep within you. 
“I told you we were done.” Thankfully your voice comes out firmer then you feel. Inside you can feel yourself slipping through your fingers already. Just by seeing him again.
“I know. I tried calling but you blocked my number and all of my social media.” He gives a nod, dead smile ghosting his lips momentarily. 
“I meant what I said.” You walk farther into the room, resolution sound as you place the glass bottle of the expensive liquid down on the frosted glass table. Glancing at it briefly, his favourite kind, you should have known.
“Please just let me explain-” He takes a hesitant step toward you.
“You explained yourself enough. Tae,” You exhale deeply.  “please. Just let it be done. I don’t want to do this with you anymore.”
“I can’t-” His deep voice barely audible over the sound, but you can hear it break. “I can’t let you go”
Your head shakes involuntarily, failing to stop the tears from collecting in your eyes you turn away arms crossed over you, protecting what you could of your heart. “This isn’t fair Taehyung.”
Footsteps approach you, you’re hyper aware of his presence close behind you. “I know, I am the worst of the worst and I promise I’ll leave you alone but please just listen to what I have to say first? Please”
You reach out for the door, creating distance between you. One last chance to leave.
“You have 2 minutes” 
The door shuts, all the night life now muffled, softly placing yourself on the couch. Spine rigid, you wait eyes now on his overly anxious figure as he continues to stand. You can see the slight sweat on his temples now. Good, he's nervous. He should be.
“Thank you. Ok first I want to say I’m sorry for calling you.. that name… it was unjustified, and completely wrong of me to say that. You sleeping with 1 or 2, hell even 50 people doesn’t give me the right to demean you. And it was none of my business, regardless because yes. I am not your brother. I fooled myself into believing it. Pushing myself to only allow myself to see you as my sister when I asked you to think about what we were to each other. I was so afraid at the time you’d shut me down, and saying something about my adolescence factoring my love for you. Which was true. I was young and I so desperately wanted you to see me as a man but you said you’d let me know when I was older and I felt like I was being buried alive with guilt and rejection. Guilt for wanting my best friend's sister, guilt for possibly ruining the friendship the three of us had, guilt of possibly making you feel uncomfortable around me. So when that girl confessed to me I just said yes on a whim. Hoping I could maybe fall in love with her if I try really hard, as well as make myself fall out of love with you. I was so scared of what I asked of you and then of what I did. I pushed it down so well I truly believed I only loved you like a sister. But I could never stand idle when it came to you. Every event I wanted to be at to support you, every heartbreak I wanted to pummel those guys into the ground. I was so panicked every time Yoongi would tell me something about you and would always ask him ‘well what are we gonna do?’. I put myself on the front line, I tried to place myself between you and the world all while still believing I loved you like a sister. Like I should be doing, family. That’s what I always wanted from your brother and your parents. They felt like family to me, so you had to be too. But knowing now you are working in a place like this, where everyone can see you looking absolutely breathtaking, knowing that Jimin and Hoseok get to see you in a way that I never could. Something so vulnerable and intimate for their eyes only. That they were your friends. They get to have friendly banter, movie marathons, nights out, smart quips from your venomous tongue AND be with you like that. I’m sorry I talked badly about them, I know they mean so much to you. I had to understand, to pull myself away and think about it without my feelings getting in the way. Yoongi was right, I’ve been blind and stupid because of the fear I made up in my head. When I should have held you close I pushed you away and chained myself. But I’ve realized how I feel about you know, about us. And I know I’m years too late to give you an actual answer and I know I need to do better. I’m still immature and possessive and I don’t think things through all the way and I’m clearly terrible at communicating and I know I have to change and-“
“What do you feel now.” You cut him off. You maintain a neutral expression. He needed to say it before you made up your mind.
“You still want to know?” He chokes out, almost a whimper. 
“I’ve always known about your terrible personality Tae. This isn’t new, I’ve been around you long enough to see your relationships fall apart, remember? You don’t have to change, just grow, like you’re doing right now. If you change who you are completely then you aren’t you anymore, then who am I supposed to be in love with?” He needs to say it. “So tell me. Right now, how do you feel about me?”
“I love you. Not as a sister but as someone I want to be with. I am so idiotically In love with you that I detest myself for putting you through this pain.” It all tumbles from his mouth. “But I’m still scared.”
“Why?” No more excuses.
“What if you find out I’m not worth your love?”
“Taehyung. If I thought that I would have stopped years ago. I’m in too deep.” You give him a slight smile, eyes sparkling with something new.
“I’m in too deep too.” 
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oneuldo · 4 months
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Drama Review: Death’s Game
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Spoilers ahead! If you haven’t watched Death’s Game yet, stop reading and go watch this series first. I assure you, you’ll not be disappointed.
I just finished watching part two of this drama last January 07 (Sunday). It is one of the best dramas based on a Webtoon that I’ve watched after Moving. I regret not reading the Webtoon first (because I tend to compare it with the drama version). Maybe if I have the time, I’ll squeeze it on top of the other Webtoon that I’m reading.
I already knew it’s going to be amazing when they announced the cast. Seo In-Guk plays the protagonist while Park So-Dam plays Death. Since I have no idea about the other casts and which characters they play, watching this drama was like opening a present— you’ll never know what you’ll get. I was not let down by their performances— each of them portrayed their character’s so well. I especially liked Lee Jae-wook’s acting here. I was so amazed how well he act here that I had to replay some scenes twice (even thrice!). I also need more action scenes from him! I was also surprised with Seo In-Guk’s acting especially that part in episode 6 where he started laughing as soon as he died in Park Tae-U’s hands the second time (that serial killer played by Kim Jae-Wook). He laughed maniacally while a single tear falls. What. A. Scene. I must have replayed it thrice because he was so good on that part. Everyone was amazing!
I’m not sure about how it ended in the Webtoon but, I really liked the ending of this drama and I’m satisfied with how it ends. It also conveyed an important lesson about life and death. It is a wake up call to me— a reminder that death is not the end of everything. There will be days when the world felt unfair, days when I felt hopeless, days when I felt alone and wanted to give up. I hope to always remind myself to trudge on with life even if it’s hard. To remind myself that I can always turn my bad days a little bit better.
To remember that there is only one ME in this world.
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You really can’t say you’re living when you live in constant fear. But since I was a coward, I always lived in constant fear. Afraid that the world wouldn’t recognize my worth, that I would fall behind my peers, and that I would be rejected, I ended up taking my own life due to this fear before my life could even blossom. I only realized after dying that life in itself was an opportunity. And the pain that I thought engulfed my whole life was only a small part of it. A clear day. A rainy day. A windy day. I learned that life was made up of these different days. And that it was okay to fail as long as I kept going.
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minniemariex · 2 years
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imma just write my experience here lol
welcome to the stream of thoughts on first watch of ep 10 of KINNPORSCE The Series (yay)
SPOLIERS FOR THE EPISODE AHEAD
i really wrote it while watching so expect a lot of random stuff
so pete. i love you. i’m excited for vegaspete in this episode.
so far so good. thank you production team for the fight scene that looks good and realistic and show their skillets quite well. lol for bodyguards they did little body guarding in those 10 ep lol
that was so good. also side note i love pete in his suit/uniform he’s so hot 🥵
noooooo kinnn
omg wtf
the puppy eyes. yes trust him baby.
also i saw that nod to pete before he turned away
omgOMG KIMPORCHAY
jeff baby i so hot. omg they so cuuute. so glad they get a bit more screen time. chay is a sunshine. kim is the protector. and like i’m in love.
it must feel amazing to wake up in the arms of the person you love.
okay i saw someone else ask but how tf did jeff make cheek kiss look better than some normal kisses in other series? like it’s so cute and wholesome and like ugh i love kimchay so much it’s ridiculous
(how is it that i’m always more invested in side dishes than in main ??? like i like kinnporsche but kimchay and vegaspete have consumed me (see what i did there lol))
chay pretending to sleep is me lol
the way chay grabbed kim’s waist when he was kissed was H.O.T.
awww baby i can cry if you want to. omg okay let me just say that chay saying he is unlucky is not some foreshadowing (i welcome anything that will make kim go batshit crazy (idk why i like my fictional men morally grey and slightly violent when needed but i do and like fits perfec))
and then the look on kim face. i wonder if he’s not fully there yet and kinda went with chay on the whole i like you phi thing.
omg his face when chay said i love you was just adoration and like awe taht someone would say that to him. omg he couldn’t say it back. i mean yeah that’s when the guilty should hit him.
the staring at the hand that was in chaya hair. is giving me.
is this where everything goes to shit??
omg kim don’t leave. you little coward.
OMG IT IS
thé gonna kidnap chay. and kim gonna go crazy.
OMG the running. the screaming. kik coming to the rescue. the teaser. the fading to black. it was great.
why do i feel like the producers heard us wanting more of mafia story line and putting it in. like that most of the complainants i heard were that it was a bit tame in that department ement. and people (me included) wanted sth a bit darker. so that’s what we got this week it seems.
omg we all agreed to hate tawan right? glad to have big spreading the word lol.
yes kinn baby trust poersche not tawan.
pete baby i back. looking fresh.
the way he looked up and away when talking about torture but looked straight into kinns eyes when he said they might get me to talk and that they will kill him at the end is GREAT detail.
omg porsche is gonna loose his shit when he finds out chay is gone.
kim woke up. and he’s calling kinn. kim is pissed enough to call kinn and ask wtf happens taht made others kidnap chay. he probably wonders if it’s against him or porsche.
and we back at the minor fam house. with pete in a red uniform. are bodyguards at minor house randomly placed? cause like four in one corridor?? a bit much isn’t it??
pete taht was a really lame excuse. boy learn to lie better. IS THERE NO SURVEILLANCE IN TJIS HOUSE?? how did they miss him??
omg vegas has a red room xD it’s literally whips and cabins and ball gags and cuffs and i’m LIVING FOR IT
pete you innocent baby. don’t touch the ball gag. it’s gonna be your but later honey. collars and harness too? vegas i see you are fully equipped.
omg ofc vegas would not hide stuf in a folder called CONFIDECIAL like pete bby i know you smart why you so dumb now??
okay so ofc porsche would chose to find his bro instead of dirt on tawan vegas !!
and lol kinn you weren’t expecting tawan to run away ? bitch that’s obvious he’s the bad guy. and now you’ve lost the cctv.
omg porsche you dumb dumb bitch why go there alone?? please kim to the rescue.
omg tawan you grave is deep and ready.
the way porsches face lit up at the sight of vegas is so precious but also so sad. cause like god why would you ever trust vegas. porsche really you shouldn’t trust some people. i really need kim to the rescue.
omg okay. so pete rapportés to kinn and immediately got caught by KEN. perth bby i knew you were the traitor since the character story came out but i still live you but also want to know the reasoning behind your actions.
also pete’s steel look at ken was glorious.
OMG VGEAS did you seduce tawan? bby i’m proud of you. you can manipulate him however you want to.
also bible speaking english is such a turn on. like seriously. it’s hot 🥵 af.
okay to be honest that was a good plan. and it honestly wouldn’t have mattered if kinn believed it. what mattered was the opinion of the public. the perception of being weak would’ve made kinn not act on his believe in the innocence of porsche. cause we already saw that he cares about his power and his image. and also i don’t think korn would let him ruin his reputation (that’s the word) for love of all things.
omg so yeah that happened. well i wasn’t exactly expecting anything else from vegas lol. i wonder if tawan was his sub(?) cause that would make sense. with the way vegas kisses his forehead and is somewhat gentle with him even though we can clearly see him getting annoyed.
and porsche finally sees what kind of person vegas really is. a ruthless one, without care for others if they stand in they way to his goal. even if they helped immensely and are loyal to him (idk if tawan was loyal to vegas but he clearly cared for him).
KIM TO THE RESCUE. also is this first time porsche gonna meet kim? as i’m kim not wik cause he must know WIK as the idol his little bro is obsessed with. that gonna be fun. does porsche think kim is a bodyguard.
OMG what just happened. big you … can’t believe this wow that was something
omg i just realized billie is smaller than most of the cast. it just shows that height and muscle is not all. he looks way more dominant than tawan even though tawan is bigger and back hugging him. vegas just seems way bigger than he physically is.
kinn likes hot just smoking. awww liked the kiss and porsche needed that hug very badly.
ANOTHER TRAILER SCNENE. this can’t be comfortable position to sit in lol.
omg porsche. that was disgusting.
chay is being a very reasonable person wanting his brother safe and out of the mafia.
also I CNAT BELIEVE KINN ACTUALLY FORGOT ABOUT PETE my god that will give me soo many trust issues won’t kinn. like man he went there for info for but you just forget about him??? rude
okay so we’re done
lol seems like next ep we’ll see more of vegaspete for which i am grateful
also the line ‘papa will finally accept us’ is great. shows taht he not only desires power but also acceptance for who he is. must’ve been told he’s deprived for liking first boys and then more sadistic and controlled sex. probably experiences a lot of pressure to be the perfect son knowing he already fails at the basic level.
but also MASTE MANIPULATOR loving this shit.
the explosions were weak af.
kim just left chay didn’t he? omg he did lol
also is this the moment chay finds out his brother joined the f MAFIA ???
i do not understand why they let chay just walk off ? he’s been unconscious for x amount of time. just woke up. and is in the middle of nowhere. porsche you big dolt go after him and get him somewhere safe for f sake.
god kinn being a mood with ‘i went there to tell you tawan was working with vegas But you run away’ lol
kinn being ‘do i want to smoke? am i forgetting sth? i am aren’t i? what am i forgetting?’ lol
finally we get pete tied up to the post. TRAILER SCENE HERE WE COME.
pete looks so f crazy. like deranged him laughing and smiling but then looking starting into vegas’ eyes with like seriousness is so hot.
also the screamed were really good.
omg perth is such a good actor. that was so good. and i hate kan so much.
omg yes just kill him please. omg don’t say it honor or some other bullshit just kill him.
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la-pheacienne · 1 year
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Chuck for meme?
@cauldronofmorning Chuuuuuck omg ok (I didn't read yours on purpose even tho I saw you answered this, to not be influenced 😅)
1: sexuality headcanon : sexually insecure, has felt attraction for men when he was in college but he was a coward and he didn't do anything
2: otp : his wife. I liked them together.
3: brotp : Jimmy. Brotp from hell, each scene they shared was an absolute miracle but also made me wanna tear my eyes out.
4: notp : Kim. They didn't vibe at all. Very cold akward vibe
5: first headcanon that pops into my head : aaaaaaah Chuck as a kid bringing his good grades home all happy but his mum was more excited about a silly thing little Jimmy has done to make her happy, like probably a very silly drawing or a funny theater sketch and she totally ignored Chuck and his grades and he was crying alone at night all bitter and spiteful.
6: favorite line from this character : ahhhhhhh let me think fuck fuck so many ok obviously "slippin Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun" but also "in the end, you're gonna hurt everyone around you, you can't help it, so stop apologizing, embrace it! I would have more respect for you if you did". And then "if you don't like where you're heading there is no shame in going back and changing your path". Traumatising little shit
7: one way in which I relate to this character : well I studied law, I was always the very good student who just isn't cut for interpersonal relationships that are so fundamental for a lawyer, and it's frustrating to see other people who know less than me do better at the job simply for being charming. That I understand very well. But I'm an only child so the similarities stop there.
8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character : well the CHICANERY scene. Iconic tho
9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? : Problematic fave. I love him. During the show I absolutely hated his guts but now I love him. Definitely problematic.
Thank you for asking 💖
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marshmallow-phd · 3 years
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Genre: Angst, Unrequited Love
Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader
A/N: This was basically just a therapy write. 
**
What is worth? It is neither tangible nor seeable. It doesn’t have a body or a shell. Yet, the endless chase to catch it, to hold it captive, is a never ending disease that eats away at the brain and tears apart the heart. It’s only descriptor is feeling. A judgement. Something either is or isn’t. When it's an object in question, the call for worth is passive, innocent. It’s wanted or it's not. The deterioration comes into play when the worth is applied to a person. 
Kim Junmyeon was worth the world. 
With a smile that could chase away a storm and a heart too good and pure for the human populace, he was truly worth more than the world. He was worth more than you deserved. 
Not only was his face kind, but it was handsome. Beautiful, even. Candid photos were museum worthy masterpieces. There was a gentleness, a softness to his eyes and cheeks that contradicted the sharpness of his jaw and the strength of his body. His laugh was infectious and his mind as vast and deep as the ocean. The sum of his whole was worth so much. 
But you were not worthy of such a person. You weren’t as stunning as a sunset over the mountains or as extraordinary as a new discovery. You were simply… you. Staring from afar, admiring but never touching. 
You wished you could be worthy. You wished you could be special enough - good enough to be with him. Pretty enough would be something decent to settle for. But you were invisible. A person on the sidelines. Out of the spotlight. You were an admirer - not one to be admired. 
“You’re doing it again.”
You blinked, your attention torn away from the spot where Junmyeon was standing, laughing and chatting with a few of his seniors. Kyungsoo, who sat to your left at the small table in the entertainment building’s cafe, didn’t even look up from the script he was currently reviewing. He’d only been given it the day before and was still considering if he wanted the part that was being offered to him. 
Your gaze dropped to the opened yet untouched notebook lying in front of you on the somewhat sticky surface. Someone must have spilled their syprup-y coffee and didn’t do the best job at cleaning it up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Without moving his head, Kyungsoo looked at you over the rim of his glasses. Even though you were sure you were nothing more than a blur to his eyes at the moment, he could always see right through you. “If you keep staring at him like that, you’re going to give yourself away.”
The ultimate nightmare. The humiliation of being found out. The sweet but awkward rejection that you knew would follow. With his laugh still ringing in your ears, you forced yourself to tune Junmyeon out. 
Pushing his glasses up his nose with his middle finger, Kyungsoo straightened and closed the script. “We can go somewhere else, if that would help.”
You wanted to argue no. That you weren’t a coward. That you weren’t going to run and hide simply because you looked at him like he was the night sky while you were stuck on the ground. You used to have better control of yourself. You used to be able to hide it better. But lately, it had only gotten worse. 
And you were a coward. 
“Yeah. Maybe one of the practice rooms is empty.”
“There’s usually one.”
After gathering up your things, you followed Kyungsoo out of the cafe, stealing a final glance. Junmyeon didn’t so much as twitch in your direction. It wouldn’t have been surprising if he hadn’t even realized that you were there in the cafe for the past half hour. 
Kyungsoo settled into one corner of the worn navy blue couch while you squeezed into the other. Not speaking a word, he went back to reading the script. That was a nicety of your friendship. Comfortable silence was more than readily available when needed. He didn’t push or give unasked for advice. He was an ear to listen and a presence to take in when you didn’t want to be alone. 
You stared down at the notebook in your lap where your next story ideas were supposed to be filling the pages. But nothing was coming out. Not even the vague pictures you’d had earlier this morning. The only things being called to the paper were the sentences held in the invisible tears you refused to shed. Words of wishes and frustrations swirled around inside the tiny droplets, every letter as heavy as lead. Your cruel mind kept echoing at you the conversation that had constricted the air in your lungs. 
Two days ago, you’d accidentally overheard a drama staff worker jokingly say that Junmyeon and his current co-star seemed awfully close, more than merely friends. Stomach lurching, you ran to the nearest bathroom. Nothing came out but almost fifteen minutes of deliberate breathing had gone by before you emerged again. Kyungsoo was quick to dismiss the comment after barely three words from you. The effect, however, still lingered. 
Despite the history of your intrusive thoughts, you wanted to believe that you could be good enough. That you were worthy of being beside someone like Junmyeon. His co-costar was stunning, even in real life. Someone who didn’t need photoshop to draw out gasps of awe and astonishment. Someone you most certainly couldn’t compete with in any race. 
You weren’t asking for much. Just to be able to hold his hand, your fingers interlaced between his own. The fantasy you allowed yourself to indulge in at times wasn’t a grand gesture or a modern fairytale. You wanted simplicity. The smaller moments that could mean so much. Mundane, to some eyes. 
Warm sun rays leaked through the closed blinds over the living room windows. A clock on the wall ticked away the meaningless minutes. Sometimes soft music hummed in the background, sometimes there was nothing but silence. Junmyeon would lay across the length of the couch with you wrapped around his side. His fingers would absentmindedly caress your shoulder or arm. In his other hand was a book, held open by his thumb and pinky. Your own hand drifted through his hair while he read aloud. 
The two of you had dozens of endless conversations about books. About the ones you loved and the ones you hated. About deeper meanings and the reflections of life. His love of literature - from the celebrated classics to the obscure unknown - had been what initially drew you in. Everything else was what made you stay.
A muscle in your hand cramped. The peaceful scene faded from your eyes. The page was now filled with barely legible, ink-smeared words. You’d written the entire scenario out, along with your heart, without even realizing it. 
In a panic, you ripped the paper from its spiral hold, crumpled it up, and tossed it to the trash can across the room. It missed. 
“I doubt whatever you wrote was that bad,” Kyungsoo murmured. He read the final few lines of the script and closed it. 
“It wasn’t,” you admitted bitterly. “But I shouldn’t have written it.” You described the scene to him while your eyes stayed trained on the loose thread twirling between your fingers. 
He sighed. “You’re never going to tell him, are you?”
“I can’t.”
“You can. You’re just stopping yourself.”
You scoffed. “Why would I deliberately set myself up like that? Break me the rest of the way?”
Kyungsoo stared at you, long and hard, his expression blank to those who couldn’t read the tell-tale signs that his thoughts were in overdrive. “You’re really hurting, aren’t you?”
You sniffed, though no tears were yet forcing their way to the surface. “Most days.”
“Then walk away.”
“I can’t.” Your voice broke - just like your heart. The world blurred when you shook your head. “I can’t… simplify it. But-- It’s like I was this stupid lump of rock drifting aimlessly through space, content with my life. Then suddenly, I came across this brilliant star that shined so brightly and… we collided. And now I’m stuck in his orbit. But he just keeps on spinning while my whole world had changed completely. He’s… my gravity. I don’t know anything else anymore.”
“Maybe it’s time to find your own orbit.”
Afraid it might crack again, your voice was barely a whisper. “I don’t know how.”
The door creaked open and your heart leapt. Junmyeon stuck his head inside. Had he overheard everything?
“There you are! I turned away for a second and suddenly you two weren’t in the cafe anymore.”
He’d… He’d seen you? In the cafe?
“It was too loud,” Kyungsoo lied, covering up for you like he always did. 
“It’s always too loud for you,” Junmyeon teased. Then his face morphed into that leader-esque expression. “We need to head to rehearsal. You’re welcome to join us,” he nodded to you.
“No, that’s okay,” you said quickly in response. “I have a writer’s meeting.” No, you didn’t, but space felt like the right choice at the moment. You tried not to focus on the lack of disappointment coming from the direction of the door. 
“Maybe next time.” Junmyeon slapped the side of the door. “Let’s go, Soo.”
You were actually the first one on your feet, muttering goodbyes to both of them and then walking down the hall perhaps a little too fast. 
You didn’t allow your mind to think the whole way home. Every action was done in automatic mode. Only the minimal amount of awareness was used. But when the apartment door clicked behind you, when the near darkness wrapped you up, when the silence crept in and the empty couch mocked you… you broke. 
Knees buckling from under you, the cold hard floor came closer and you didn’t leave that spot just inside the room as the tears and sobs crashed out in waves. 
This was what you hated the most. The breakdowns that came with no excuse. They were built up by your own mind, by your intrusive thoughts. You tortured yourself with what you could never have. The attacks were random and it was only recently that you had learned to hold them in long enough until you were safe within your own walls. One time, you hadn’t made it. Kyungsoo had been there to pat your shoulder. 
Kyungsoo. He was right. 
That clarity was coming through as the tears dried and your breathing evened out again. You needed space. You needed to separate yourself from what wasn’t good for you and not see him. Not even have the temptation to. 
This was going to hurt like hell. 
**
The office somehow looked smaller with the bare walls. Since the day you moved in, you tried to liven it up, give it character, make it reflect the interests you loved. How were you supposed to write if this place felt like a stifling corporate desert, dry of any creativity?
Not that you ever actually wrote in this twelve by eight space. This place had been reserved for meetings and other usually boring necessities. You didn’t know the next time a budget meeting or an email check would be conducted here. You could be back in a few months and move back in as if you never left. Or someone else could take over. Only time would tell. 
The box that currently had your attention was nearly full. You’d have to come back for the rest. There wasn’t much left, anyway. You took another look around to see if there was anything else you could do at the moment. The monitors were black, the tower underneath - so much smaller than the one you’d had as a kid - was powered off, and the chair that was aligned just so to your favored adjustments was pushed into the gray desk. Saying goodbye to this place really did hurt. 
But you needed to do this. 
And yet, you felt like you were drowning, being dragged deeper into the black water. Your lungs were screaming for relief. 
“You’re really leaving?”
Your shoulders stiffened. At first, you didn’t look up at him. You weren’t sure what to say to him. Being here… it was the last place you expected him to be today. Kyungsoo would have told him, but you wouldn’t have waited around for him to appear. 
“Hi, Junmyeon.” You folded up the top of the box, overlapping the pieces so it would stay shut in transport. 
“I thought you liked it here?”
“I love it,” you confessed. “But I- I need to go home for a little while.”
“Are you homesick?”
“Something like that.” Definitely some version of sick. 
He nodded. “Will you be gone long?” His eyes drifted over the holes in the walls leftover from the frames that used to hang in front of them. 
“I don’t know.” You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. This was…. You should go. Pushing your fingers under the box, you started to lift it to take it home. 
“Do you have to go?”
The question stalled you. Confused, the box went back down on the desk. “Why are you here, Junmyeon?”
He shrugged, though it didn’t shake off the stiffness in his shoulders. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, his arms all the way to his wrists covered up by the sleeves of his shirt. Lately he had been rolling them up. You wondered what had changed today. “You’re our friend.”
Friend. 
Friend. Friend. Friend. 
The word rang over and over like a declaration of war. Our friend. 
The smart thing to do would have been to nod, say goodbye, and leave. But - instead - you opened your mouth. 
“I will always be your friend.”
That didn't make him smile like you would have thought. “So, then why do you have to leave?”
You rubbed your eyebrow, fighting within yourself. You lost. 
“Have you ever had a friend so head over heels for someone that won’t even look at them twice? But they don’t care? Because as long as the person they’re looking at is happy, then they’re happy. Even if your friend is completely miserable in the process. Because they no longer care about their own self. They just keep looking at the other person, doing anything that entails that they’re still happy.” You swallowed thickly to try and keep your voice steady. By your sides, your hands were trembling at this roundabout confession. “And you want to shake them. You want to tell them to get out. Because as long as they stick around, they won’t look at one else. No one else exists. Well, this is me. Getting out.”
The frown on Junmyeon’s face deepened as he let your words sink in. “Who is it? Will you tell me?”
No. Because this was enough of an admittance. Because it was time to find your own sense of gravity. 
So, without a word, you picked up the box and left the office. 
Waiting for you when you came back was the scene you had written in the practice room that day, flattened out but still wrinkled as it laid on the desk. 
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
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Always.
“Truth” is just... I mean, I want to say “garbage” but that doesn’t even do how bad it is justice? Like, okay, I take four major issues with it (my followers be like: just four? :P):
First is the writing in general and the continuity of it all. This episode looks like it’s been through multiple drafts and the final product is an amalgamation of a bunch of them with no coherency between any of them. I already could kind of guess it from the Adrimi kiss that the finale removed, but it’s obvious that there were going to be Adrimi/Lukanette arcs in Season 4 but then stuff happened (i.e: the staff being cowards) and they got cut. It’s totally possible that the plot with Jagged Stone being the father and Marinette having to keep secrets from Luka were still the same episode even in the original draft, but I imagine it at least wasn’t episode one.
There are other, more subtle hints as well, like the episode giving no time to Luka learning that Jagged is his father (making the fandom wonder if Luka remembered when he was Truth) and Ladybug being shocked when she realizes that the akuma is Luka as if she didn’t already see him be akumatized. Juleka also gets weirdly sidelined in the episode despite being Luka’s twin (Astruc has stated that both Luka and Juleka are older and Juleka got held back, which is why she’s in Marinette’s grade but Luka isn’t), so she’s Jagged’s offspring as well. One might presume that Juleka just never cared at all but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be allowed to interact directly with the guy or have any involvement at all. All it would’ve taken is for Luka to mention that Juleka never cared about who their father was but he did, thereby implying that Juleka’s reaction to Jagged would probably be more like, “oh okay.”
You know, if they didn’t reduce her to incoherent mumbling.
Second is the timing of this episode. We had the New York special with Paris being destroyed, but it’s clearly fine here (so I guess it isn’t canon now; thank God honestly), and while it’s technically possible that enough time has passed (supported by the vague implication that Marinette having to miss out on dates with Luka has gone on for a while, given Tom and Sabine’s lack of reaction to them dating), it’s not supported by Marinette examining the Miracle Box as if she’s only just gotten it.
There’s also Shadow Moth, where we’re shown an extended version of the scene from the end of “Miracle Queen” where Gabriel repairs the peacock miraculous, giving the episode a “Volpina”->”The Collector” vibe but then why are the events lining up the way they do???
The narrative also does a really bad job at showing us why Marinette is so strapped for time. She has guardian duties now but you’d think it’d balance out with her not having to go to Fu anymore for guardian training (you know, that thing we never saw but was said to be happening or at least that it was Fu’s intent to have it happen). You could argue that maybe Shadow Moth is more active, but then Chat Noir should be affected by this too; Ladybug states outright that she’s been busy and Chat Noir responds with something akin to, “oh I know, because you’re guardian,” which implies that it’s her guardian duties keeping her busy and Shadow Moth is just interrupting her dates specifically.
But we don’t even see what responsibilities she has added on as guardian. I knew the writers would make it so her being guardian was a hassle, but it’s the first episode of the series and we’ve gotten next to no answers for what being guardian actually adds.
It’s almost like this was a rushed first episode to break up the only thing that unambiguously made Marinette happy for the sake of bringing the love square back and needlessly making her suffer because the writers think it’s hilarious.
Speaking of which, the third thing thing is the comedy because--just--I hate the comedy in this show.
Like, just to start, there’s the kwami, who clearly begin with their mob mentality from the later episode of “Furious Fu” and all proceed to act like children. No, I didn’t expect them to all be wise (I mean, Xuppu exists and is very much not that, having been implied to be a fit for Kim who is known for being a total himbo), but I don’t expect them to all scatter like they do. Kaalki in particular, who was shown to be more poised and refined, blatantly reveals herself to a bunch of civilians just for the sake of Marinette freaking out and needing to make up an excuse.
Same with Alya and her friends. Marinette is panicking because of the kwami and Alya “deduces” (while shading Marinette so blatantly that it’s insulting) that Adrien must be there in her house which--maybe don’t SAY THAT OUT LOUD in case Adrien is literally in her room???). Then Marinette gets a call from Luka, shouts his name, and the girls do a complete 180 in support of Lukentte. It’s not like I’m not for them supporting whatever Marinette wants to do, but the shift is so sudden (and contradicts “Frozer”) that it gave me whiplash and the entire scene ends up being pointless since the girls still go with the “Marinette is in love with Adrien” thing when Truth asks them what Marinette’s secret is. Like, we could’ve gotten small, stupid secrets that everyone thought only they knew about Marinette, but instead it’s just the same thing over and over again (which makes no sense since, by the time Alya blabs the secret - which Alya has already told Nino before anyway - it’s no longer a secret therefore making the answer invalid).
Heck, the whole “secret” thing could’ve even been the people Truth shoots finding ways of answering his questions in a way that is technically telling the truth but also not really, such as if Anarka had answered the, “Who’s my father?” question with, “someone you know/someone famous,” so as to avoid saying that it’s Jagged Stone. It’s just boring seeing characters answer with whatever the asker wants to hear instead of being able to find a way around it.
And then there’s Chat Noir, who’s just--ugh.
Like--okay, I’m going to be extremely petty for a moment and just go off because I hate Chat Noir’s role in this entire episode. The Season 3 finale went out of its way to have Chat Noir be all like, “I have a girlfriend,” when it was a lie, and then Season 4 just parkours around Ladybug telling him that she’s dating (Ladybug clearly took no issue with Chat Noir telling her he’s dating so it’s not like she’s worried about issues there; she’s gotten on his case before in episodes like “Startrain” so there are exceptions) because they want to keep having him flirt and not be sAd because this is Marinette’s episode of suffering and Chat Noir actually having to face the reality that Ladybug is dating (not just in love with someone else) would’ve actually been interesting. Chat Noir gets tons of unnecessary screentime in the episode - mostly for the show to shove in LadyNoir shipping fuel - and then actively avoids telling him the obvious thing because he would’ve actually been forced to grow/develop/stop flirting.
It would’ve been so cute and sweet to see him awkwardly trying to flirt without overstepping boundaries (so more like banter than flirt) or - you know - actually try to support Ladybug and want her to be able to finish her dates by him offering to keep akuma/sentimonsters busy, but no, he’s just left in the dark.
The finale had Chat Noir supporting her (terribly but I digress) and then doesn’t do anything with it at the start of Season 4, meaning his support of her was completely meaningless and just there.
His first appearance is him pranking Ladybug when she’s already overstressed and busy, which comes off as super poor taste and I’m both glad he got splatted into that window for it but also upset because it’s screentime completely gone to waste, and of course it’s just a lead up to him guilting her by being like, “nooo the only thing that hurts me is when you leave me alone during patrol!”
I know he’s teasing (...probably) but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because we know (well, I knew because I know how this show works) that Luka and Marinette were going to break up because of Marinette’s hectic schedule, so it just comes off as insensitive to joke about it, especially when Ladybug’s busy guardian status just serves as a reminder that Fu is gone.
Even when he’s protecting Ladybug from Truth’s questions by cutting in and asking a question of his own, of course he asks about himself to forcibly fish compliments out of Ladybug because she can’t lie to him, and of course they have Ladybug compliment his humor most of all as if that trait hasn’t nearly gotten them in danger multiple times and she’s been repeatedly annoyed when he decides to joke during the worst possible times. It’s as if the writers wanted to pat themselves on the back for their own comedy, so they had Ladybug be a mouthpiece to stroke Chat Noir’s ego.
He claims he won’t force a truth out of her and then literally forces her to say what her favorite things about him are. I acknowledge that this can be seen as me nitpicking but we went from the finale where Chat Noir actually stepped up and took charge (because Ladybug was stressed but I guess him doing anything useful is just whenever it serves the plot) to this where he’s back to flirting constantly and jamming in as much LadyNoir shipping fuel as physically possible. It’s not that he’s useless but he’s annoying and takes up space in an episode that’s supposed to be about Luka and Marinette.
And that leads us into the fourth thing, which is the break-up and just the treatment of Luka and Marinette in general. I could go on and on about how the Season 3 finale built up their relationship just to tear it down in the first episode of Season 4, but that’s not the main issue here.
Luka brought Marinette comfort. He made her happy. He never judged her. He was happy to just date her regardless of any conflicted feelings she might have because hey, who is he to complain if she wants to give him a try and who knows what’ll happen?
And the season couldn’t even give one moment of them being unambiguously happy without ruining or interrupting it. I was ready for the break-up and I was even ready for it to be the first episode but I wasn’t ready for it to be so bad.
Marinette’s Adrien pictures appear out of nowhere (again, makes no sense for the timeline) when they’ve been gone for basically all of Season 3 and even “The Puppeteer 2″ specifically which makes a direct reference to “Troublemaker,” the episode that purposefully overdid it with her pictures (”Truth” has more hanging up and clearly used “Troublemaker” as a reference, by the way). They’re just there for force the love square and Adrien into the episode as much as possible to remind the audience that Adrien breathes. There is literally no purpose to any mention of Adrien and bringing him up isn’t even relevant to Marinette and Luka’s break-up.
It’s just upsetting to know that the umbrella scene from “Origins” (which is already flawed in and of itself) kickstarts this whole thing. Adrien did basically nothing there except for clear up a misunderstanding and give Marinette an umbrella when his ride was a few meters away and Marinette’s house was just across the street, but that actives Marinette’s absolutely crippling crush on him that lasts for 3-4 seasons. Marinette is in this eternal struggle of not being allowed to grow and change because the writers think her stammering/crushing on Adrien is funny while actively punishing her for having this crush in the first place (again, like in the scene with Alya, which insults Marinette for her crush when she wasn’t even panicking over her crush).
It’s the same with Luka, and I can’t believe that it took me until this episode to realize that he and Marinette are both treated the same way: tormented by episodes for having a crush on someone. Episodes will go out of their way to forcibly insert Adrien into the plot to both humiliate Marinette and make Luka feel awkward when the episode isn’t supposed to be about Adrien at all. “Truth” is just “Desperada 2.0″ except Adrien is barely on screen at all and they still felt the need to name drop him constantly. The writers are so sensitive to the idea of people jumping onto another ship or forgetting that Adrien exists that they’ll find any possible way to include him.
“Silencer” knew better. “Silencer” knew that Marinette’s life didn’t have to revolve around the mere mention of Adrien’s name and that she had other interests/desires/traits outside of him. Adrien isn’t brought up once and it was great because the show didn’t feel the need (for once) to throw Adrien into an episode that he had nothing to do with.
Even if I was a love square shipper, I would feel insulted by “Truth” because one half of my ship kept getting name dropped and used as a tool to humiliate the other half, which makes it all the more eyeroll-worthy when the love square stans of the fandom praise this episode for breaking Lukanette up when--oh, wait, they didn’t even break up “because Adrien.”
And that ends up being the real thing here. The writers had to invent a reason for Marinette and Luka to break up. We already know that Jagged Stone being Luka’s dad is a retcon (not technically in the show’s canon but in information we heard about outside of it), so they shoved in Luka having issues about not knowing his father specifically so that he would be pushed over the edge when Marinette couldn’t tell him about her being Ladybug.
When Luka and Marinette were just together and hanging out, Adrien wasn’t mentioned once. Say whatever about the Adrien pictures being on the wall and Marinette’s stammering (she always says stupid stuff when she panics - especially stuff she doesn’t mean - so I’m not upset with her so much as the writing for having her mess up in that specific way), but the only time Marinette talks about Adrien at all in the episode is when someone else brings him up.
She goes on a date with Luka to the cinema and they were having a great time without Adrien involved at all. I know I already stressed this point in a previous post, but one of the reasons that I find Lukanette to be so amazing is because the show actually focuses on Marinette’s interests and doesn’t force her to be the writer’s mouthpiece for gushing about their sunshine boy a punching bag for comedy. In every Lukanette scene that doesn’t bring up Adrien/before Adrien shows up, Marinette is either praised, able to be happy, or is showing one of her interests that isn’t aDrIeN, and whereas Adrien being on-screen around Marinette usually just means that she’s gushing about/stammering around him with no development, Lukanette features us actually learning more about Luka or other characters.
“Captain Hardrock” - lets her bond with Luka over a shared interest in Jagged Stone, and Luka is established as a sort of empath who uses music as a way to speak for himself
“Frozer” - gets to practice ice skating with Luka, who is actually good at ice skating and also can tie laces despite not tying his own because he’s a rebel
“Desperada” - gets to try out guitar with Luka and we learn that Luka has been playing guitar for as long as he can remember
“Silencer” - showcases Marinette’s interest in fashion and properly introduces Kitty Section; has a plot featuring all of them together doing something not even remotely love-related and we get actual confirmation of Luka’s crush on Marinette, along with Marinette’s reaction (blushy+happy; just saying, idk how anyone could watch “Silencer” and not think that Marinette was crushing on Luka)
“Heart Hunter” - Marinette gets a song written for/about her and Luka is established to have a job
“Truth” - brings up Lukanette’s shared interest in Jagged Stone, features Marinette’s interest in fashion when she gives him a gift she made + had Jagged Stone sign, and shows her raising her voice but not being judged by Luka for it, who’s happy with her just the way he is
When the show focuses on Lukanette, it’s all about lifting Marinette up, praising her, and making her feel good. When Adrien is involved or it’s hyper-fixating on Marinette’s crush on him, it’s about bringing her down and making her feel bad for a crush they keep forcing her to hold onto and humiliating her for.
Point being, the writers had to force their way into getting Lukanette broken up because of their precious love square and the fact that Marinette and Luka being happy is the opposite of what they want.
It’s embarrassing to watch a team full of old white guys (I’m convinced at this point that they just hang their female writer on a coat hanger so they can point to her whenever someone says that their staff is too male-dominated) treat their female biracial lead with such disrespect, and I can only presume that the mistreatment of Luka is because he’s supportive of her and they don’t like that, meaning that the way she’s treated ends up rubbing off on him.
It doesn’t come off as a fun or interesting plot; it comes off as cruel. When Adrien is sad, he usually gets people rushing to comfort him (”Party Crasher,” “Gamer”), but “Truth” has Marinette in tears over the fact that she can’t have a boyfriend due to being Ladybug and the writing has the gall to crack jokes about Kaalki not knowing what tears are, and then Marinette has to ask for the kwami to hug her for comfort.
When Luka gets akumatized into Truth, the episode doesn’t even hesitate at bashing away at him, from everyone saying that Marinette’s secret is that she “loves Adrien” (which, as Truth points out, isn’t a secret, and they could’ve had this somehow lead up to a twist ending where Marinette actually isn’t into Adrien anymore and the Adrien pictures were genuinely for reference, but she stammered about it because it was embarrassing that her boyfriend got sent it with no context) to one of Luka’s favorite songs actually being about how Jagged abandoned him to go on tour. Luka has to deal with Marinette ditching him constantly (not that I blame her) and not knowing who his father is despite wanting to know, and the episode treats him like trash for... what? Having a crush on a girl who’s secretly Ladybug? Because that’s all it seems to come down to in the end.
I also have serious gripes with the fact that Marinette has this huge schedule established in “Gamer 2.0″ and they don’t even try to explain why she can’t use it to keep track of her obligations. The episode has her say (in a roundabout way but still) that she’s forgetting stuff constantly because of all of her emergencies (the emergencies of which are not stated and I hate the subtle implication that forgetting something means you don’t care about it when that’s clearly not how things work and also not what Marinette comes off as because - again - they establish that she’s overworked) but fails to properly explain it. The episode hammers away at Marinette having all these issues and even has Tikki chide Marinette by asking her about leaving Luka alone while apparently neglecting the fact that Marinette HAS to go be Ladybug right now and what else is there to even do??
Both Luka and Marinette are punished for just having a crush and wanting to be together and I hate that the episode forces a break-up instead of coming up with a solution to the problem. Instead of “Marinette isn’t ready for a romantic relationship,” it feels more like she’s just not allowed to be happy.
Long-distance relationships are a thing. Relationships where people don’t get to go on dates frequently are a thing. Instead of forcing a break-up, the episode could’ve had a lesson/development where Marinette is told that she’s allowed to pursue a relationship and just needs to plan accordingly. but they just didn’t want to.
For example: instead of planning dates, Marinette could wait until an akuma/sentimonster is defeated to call Luka and ask him out, because Hawk Moth usually doesn’t strike immediately after one is dealt with. I’m positive that Luka would happily take impromptu/sudden dates over planned-but-inconsclusive ones. Heck, they don’t even have to date specifically and can just stick to phone calls (kwami can’t be picked up on technology) or hanging out in Marinette’s room/on Marinette’s balcony while they do their thing.
Relationships are a commitment, but that doesn’t mean they have to be a burden, and the episode absolutely drags Marinette over it. The whole thing with the kwami being released and stressing her out when they’re not supposed to be able to just come out normally is explained away by, “oh, the new box must be like you, Marinette; full of surprises!” when the reality is just that the show wants to take away everything that’s sacred to Marinette. The Season 3 finale had Fu’s letter telling Marinette that “life doesn’t always give you what you want, but the real gift is life itself,” then proceeds to turn Marinette’s life into a living hell.
Her room? She has to say good-bye to her privacy because now the kwami are always going to be around. The first thing one of them (Trixx) did was start reading her diary, showing that they have absolutely no shame or regard for Marinette’s feelings.
Her schedule? Conveniently pops away into the realm of non-existence so she can look bad for ditching Chat Noir on patrol and neglecting dates with Luka due to her responsibilities/stress.
Her boyfriend, the one person in the entire show who loved her, respected her agency, never judged her, actually apologized when he made her sad, and who she was genuinely in love with rather than just having the equivalent of a celebrity crush for? She had to break up with him because plot and needing to force her to go back to fawning over the guy who has only made her life worse by her crushing on him.
When I say the universe hates Marinette, this is what I mean. It created random akuma to attack Paris all for the sake of forcing Marinette away from Luka, and apparently didn’t realize what they were doing in the scene where Marinette hurries back to the Liberty when Kitty Section and Adrien are playing together when Adrien is Chat Noir so he should’ve been late too.
(Oh, and Marinette completely ignores Adrien in favor of waving at Luka and even tells Luka outright that Adrien isn’t even a factor in their relationship issues, further proving the “multiple drafts smashed together” and “the Adrien name drops are pointless” points.)
The whole thing in “Backwarder” where it was basically outright stated that Marianne could’ve been Fu’s confidant had Marianne not been outed by Ladybug’s mistake? Completely forgotten and left to the wayside. Marinette could’ve told Luka that she was watching the Miracle Box in Ladybug’s place (for any number of reasons, really: either Ladybug thinks it’s too dangerous to keep with her, or if the public doesn’t know that Ladybug is guardian, then Marinette can just say that she’s guardian) and that she has to run off to keep guard of the Miracle Box when an akuma/sentimonster happens in case Ladybug needs a miraculous.
Boom, done, episode solved. Luka gets to help Marinette with the kwami, Marinette is less stressed because someone knows half of her secret, and Luka and Marinette continue to date but are able to plan around akuma attacks.
But no. That whole thing in “Backwarder” where guardians (or at least Fu) can have a confidant was just there so Marinette could feel guilty about screwing it all up, because she’s not able to take advantage of that perk herself.
How convenient.
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Ok, ok, ok, ok. I am way too focus on this but I really really wanted to list out every Star Trek ship (from TNG, DS9, and VOY cause those are the ones I have seen most of) I could think of and give my opinion on it. Why? Because I don’t wanna do my math test. Lets go down the spiral of hyperfixation and little impulse control. (FYI, this became a long ass post, so read through if you want or don’t lol)
Let’s start from the beginning. 
The Next Generation: (aka gays that all share one smart brain cell) 
Picard x Crusher: Honestly, I like their chemistry, and if it became canon I would be alright with that. No real strong feelings on this ship.
Picard x Q: The epitome of enemies to lovers slow burn in 300k words. The sexual tension is too much to handle, I absolutely adore these two. They probably fucked once and Picard regrets it immeasurably. 
Picard x Riker: Nah, not for me. But you do you dudes.
Riker x Troi: Again, I quite like these two together. Two Bi Icons getting together, I’m here for it. 
Riker x Worf: Eh, Worf isn’t really a fav of mine so that makes me bias against this ship. It cool tho.
Riker x Crusher: *war flashbacks to when Crusher had sex with a Trill worm that was inside currently inside Riker’s body* Haha, fuck no. 
Troi x Crusher: Two queens getting together and tearing down the patriarchy, I stan.
Troi x Tasha: I tend to block out season one of TNG from my mind, but honestly, I like the vibe.
Data x Geordi: My OTP for this show. It should have happened. Rick Berman is a coward. They are just so sweet and they understand each other like no one else. A few of their scenes in this show made me cry. I ship
Data x Tasha: Nah, I don’t vibe. Would have been better as mlm and wlw solidarity. 
Worf x Troi: They had a few cute scenes together in the later seasons, I don’t hate neither super enjoy.
Deep Space Nine: (aka no straights in space)
Sisko x Kasidy: I liked them better in the early seasons. I think the writers low-key forgot about Kasidy until she was convenient plot device. 
Kira x Odo: I preferred it in the first few seasons where Odo had a little crush on Kira and it was kinda adorable. But after their relationship had become canon in the later seasons I was kinda disappointed.
Kira x Jadzia: I am here for this ship, two powerful women ready to take on the world together but also have their own insecurities that come up as the situation arises. Immaculate, I want it.
Dukat x Kira: Fuck no, they are enemies. Idk why the DS9 writers thought it would be a great idea to pair THESE two together. But thank god for Nana Visitor for being such a queen. 
Odo x Quark: Again, another amazing enemies to lovers ship. I love seeing those two on screen together, their chemistry is just *chef’s kiss*.
Miles x Keiko: Miles is like, the token heterosexual on this show. He loves his wife, his kids, and his job.
Bashir x Garak: Fuck yeah, OTP of this show for me gang. It was so heavily implied and it would have been so cool to see, especially in the 90s. But oh well, at least we got the actors writing and performing fanfiction for us.
Bashir x Jadzia: Yeah no, I wouldn’t ship them romantically. And the writers definetly did not favors to Bashir when they make his crush on her a bit creepy in the early seasons. But would be a BROTP for me.
Bashir x Ezri: Hnng, I don’t like. It just feels like Bashir is trying to date the Jadzia he never had and I don’t like it.
Jadzia x Worf: It’s fine, I guess. I don’t really see the chemistry.
Ezri x Jake: I mean, it’s better than Ezri x Bashir, but like, Dax has known Jake over 3 lifetimes and watched him grow up soooo, nah.
Jake x Ziyal: I am a fan. I think these two would have been really cool together especially since they are both artistic people with Jake’s writing and Ziyal’s painting. They could have done some really cool stuff together. Plus, it would make some interesting family reunion moments between Dukat and Sisko hehe.
Jake x Nog: Again, I am a fan. Tol and smol dynamics are what I am here for.
Garak x Ziyal: No
Voyager: (aka gays lost in space)
Janeway x Chakotay: The of the few straight ships I would die for. I am quite disappointed that nothing ever formed between the two because it would have been really cute and oh my god the tension the writers made between the two. I feel baited for this ship, AND IT’S A STRAIGHT SHIP! I’m sorry I have feelings about this. 
Janeway x Seven: Not a top ship of mine but I definitely see the chemistry here and I support it. 
Janeway x Paris: I only bring this up because in like season 1 or 2 they have axolotl children together because the writers were probably high as a kite when they came up with this idea for an episode. But a hard pass. 
Janeway x Coffee: I’m pretty sure this is already canon and I stan. 
Chakotay x Seven: I haven’t completely finished Voyager yet but I heard that this is the endgame for the two and WTF. I don’t see or understand it and it makes me upset, like really upset.
Chakotay x B’elanna: I’m just glad this wasn’t canon. I more just bring it up because I remembered B’elanna had a crush on Chakotay in the early seasons before Tom. And like, I get it because if Chakotay was my commanding officer I’d probably crush too girl. 
B’elanna x Paris: It’s a canon ship that I honestly kinda like. There are some moments where I’m like “oh no” and other where I’m like “YES”. But overall, I enjoy it. I just feel like there is something missing.
Paris x Kim: Fuck yea, I love these two together. Two bros turned lovers I am fucking here for it my dudes. But again, I feel like there is something else missing here.
B’elanna x Paris x Kim: Oh hell yea, I found what was missing. This is my personal OTP of Voyager. In my head I think Kim and B’elanna are just really close friends who do engineering things together. While Paris is in the corner, loving them both, but also setting the Delta Flyer on fire for the third time this week. I haven’t really looked into the Voyager tag (because spoilers) so idk if this is a popular ship. But I think they all have some really fun chemistry and I enjoy it. 
Paris x Delta Flyer: This just came to my head 20 seconds ago as I wrote the last one but I’m pretty sure this one is already canon. 
Kim x Seven: Nah
Seven x The Doctor: Hmm, do I dislike it as much as I do Seven x Chakotay? No, I do not. But do I like it that much? No, no I do not. I ship them as friends.
Tuvok x Nelix: No, not really. Opposites attract is not really my cup of tea all the time.
Nelix x Kes: Oh damn, I almost forgot about Kes. I know this is canon but where did this come from. The writers NEVER EXPLAIN IT! And then they never explain why the later broke up. I just... I just don’t understand. 
I doubt I have covered every ship, these were just the ones that came to me while writing this. Also, these are just my personal opinions please don’t come for my knees.
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benka79 · 3 years
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"The Chute" and "Day of Honor" parallels
A love triangle story
KimRis meta.
Okay, this is gonna be short, I promise.
I found an interesting parallel between 'The Chute' and 'Day of Honor' that settles the love triangle between B'elanna ➡️Paris ➡️ Kim
First of all I must say, we had B'elanna shooting at Harry in the holonovel and then mocking him after coming back from sickbay, in 3x26/4x01 where he almost died... Those are signs of jealousy. Our lady senses there's something odd between those two.
I understand that blurry Harry in Tom's background in the holodeck in the B'elanna and Tom scene, is because when B'elanna mentions "warm hands" Tom recalls immediately Tom holding his hands, because the person in his heart is Harry.
So... The thing is, the scene with Tom and B'elanna floating in the space, in which B'elanna gives him oxygen (symbolism for the air Tom needed in his brokenheart) the dialogues are similar and sometimes the opposite to the scene in 'The Chute'.
The Eyes and the Dream
4x03
TORRES: Tom. Come on. Open your eyes.
COMPUTER: Warning. Oxygen level at eighty seven millibars.
PARIS: I was having a dream.
3x3
PARIS: Harry.
KIM: How are you feeling?
PARIS: Er, I was dreaming about Megan Delaney.
KIM: Next time I'll try not to wake you.
............
PARIS: Harry?
KIM: Yeah?
PARIS: Don't leave me here.
KIM: Close your eyes.
About the Eyes: When B'elanna asks Tom to "open his eyes", symbolically she's asking him to see her. She's the one in front of him, loving him. Is the contrary to What Harry asks Tom, Kim is asking him to "close his eyes", as a symbolism of not to see him. As if he was rejecting Tom's feelings. Both scenes are full of intimacy, but in the scene in the prison the amount of intimacy is deeper. Tom is showing vulnerability and he is afraid, he is like naked in front of his friend. And Harry comforts him holding his hands and rubbing them with tender. There's physical contact, wich are not with the scene with B'elanna. But is settling the love triangle between them.
About the dream: When Harry wakes Tom up, Tom confesses he was dreaming about Megan Delaney, this means, he was dreaming about someone that wasn't Harry. Someone else. Now, when B'elanna wakes him up, Tom repeats the same, that he was dreaming, but he omits with who. Following the subtext and logical of these two scenes, it means he wasn't dreaming about her, but someone else. It could be anyone. We will never know. But he seems more calm after that, as if he had made a decision. So my suspicions are, he was dreaming about Harry. Why? Just like in "The Chute" he was dreaming about the girl he liked. Now, is not crazy to think he was dreaming about the man he loves.
Stay Away From Me
4x03
TORRES: There's something I have to say.
PARIS: Me too. I'm glad the last thing I'll see is you.
TORRES: I've been a coward about everything. Everything that really matters.
PARIS: Now you're being a little hard on yourself.
TORRES: No. I'm going to die without a shred of honour. And for the first time in my life that really bothers me. So I have to tell you something. I
COMPUTER: Warning. Oxygen level at seventy one millibars.
TORRES: I have to tell you the truth.
PARIS: The truth about what?
TORRES: I love you. Say something.
PARIS: You picked a great time to tell me.
3x03
PARIS: What, what happened to me?
KIM: Easy, Tom. You got stabbed, remember?
PARIS: Who, who did it?
KIM: One of the prisoners.
PARIS: No. No, it was you.
KIM: I'm trying to change your bandage.
PARIS: No, get away from me!
KIM: Please!
PARIS: Get away from me!
(...)
PARIS: Harry. What's happening to me?
KIM: You're going to be okay.
The Rejection. Tom and B'elanna again mirroring each other. Both of them here trying to avoid the truth. Avoid their feelings. Because they're afraid. Because they've been hard with themselves. (Low Self esteem again, hello).
Tom's "Don't leave me here" can be taken as a love confession in this parallel, with the 'close your eyes' as an answer and the 'not reciprocation of feelings' in 4x03 (😭 Tom didn't say it back!!! He couldn't bc he loves Harry!!!)
So, why is Tom happy to see B'elanna before dying? Is this related with the dream he had? It's because he knows if he had that someone else in front of him, he would definitely confess his love to him? Did he do that in his dreams? So he is kind of relieved to have B'elanna in front of him and not Harry?
Yes. I'm sure about this, why? Because Tom replies to B'elanna's love confession with:
"You picked a great time to tell me."
He is referring to the love confession before dying. He says it, maybe, because he did that in his dreams.
So, we can infer Tom was dreaming about confessing his feelings to Harry before dying. That's why he awakes calmly, and decided. Because in that precisely moment he accepted his feelings. And he was grateful it wasn't Harry the one in front of him but B'elanna. The one he chooses to move on from his unrequited love.
To Conclude:
"The Chute" and "Day of Honor" were written to mirrored each other into a love triangle with unrequited love and pining.
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Stage Name: Mimi
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Genre: Underground Rapper Joon / Underground Rapper Yoongi / Non-Idol AU
Pairing: Namjoon x Reader/ Yoongi x Reader
Word count: 4.6k
Rating: 18+
Summary: Kim Namjoon a.k.a Rap Monster, drops a new mixtape which includes a particularly interesting verse: "Is your name Mimi shawty?". Though completely unintentional, the real Mimi, an underground rapper like him and Yoongi, thinks it's a jab taken at her. What happens when the two meet?
CHAPTER 1
TW: alc*hol, mentions of physical violence
Hypothesis 1: The place in which two people meet is a reflection of their future.
This chapter shall prove that.
It is hard to move freely when all you can think about is how everyone seems to watch you. Everyone is putting it mildly. It feels like everything is watching you. Even the tall glass giants that tower over the streets are anticipating what your next move is. What are you going to do? Where are you going to go? It’s hard to even walk straight at this point. It feels like the alleyways are mixing up between your feet and suddenly, as you look around, you can’t recognize where you are. How did you get here? What led you astray? But it’s futile to stop at this point, so far in your journey towards your goal. So, you keep walking, so much that your legs are giving up under you and your lungs are burning up, your throat is begging for water and your head is dizzy. Your vision is blurry, stumbling around with your hands in front of you, hoping to stay stable, head is spinning with the want of rest and for everything to just stop. But it’s impossible at this point. You’re in this journey way too deep to just stop now, not when all that you want is right in front of you. Dangling, as if to challenge you to walk just a bit further. But can you? Can you get your feet to listen to you? Can you pick yourself up and go further? Is it worth risking everything you have just to get that one thing that will supposedly make you happy?
Seoul sings. In the daytime, it's too hard to notice what a beautiful symphony this city makes, the bustling and the huge crowds that trample the concrete underneath their feet on their way to work or school drowns, without a doubt, the song that this city sings. If you want to find the true rhythm of a city, you have to listen after the daylight creatures go home for the day, and the night ones come out. That is when you can really hear, what Seoul has to offer. Its inhabitants are active members in this continuous, never-ending concert, even though they don't realize it. They manage to execute it perfectly every single time. Everyone knows their tempo and notes, the place where they're supposed to be. Sounds of bottles opening, glass shattering, the base in speakers, lighter sparks, whimpers of pleasure, secrets told around the corner, you name it. They come together to make the most beautiful sound, and it's done perfectly every single time. And Lord, it's loud. The absolute sensory overload that the night brings pales in comparison to the one that the day brings. You can't compare the rushed, uncoordinated and rather selfish song that the day brings to the powerful, sometimes vicious and thrilling song of the night. The night keeps you on your toes, makes the hairs on your skin stand up, makes you skittish and aware of yourself so much more than what you're used to. Makes you feel watched...how tiring. This concert...it's tiring. You have to take a part in this and make the show reach it's end when the sun goes up, you can't just leave. You must see this thru. You want to see this thru. Even though, all you would want to do right now is close your eyes and drift off to sleep. Either way, it’s impossible to sleep in Seoul.
How could you, when everything is too bright, too loud, and too good.
"I'm so tired." Yoongi said, while yawning and stretching his arms behind his back.
11 PM in a empty parking lot underneath a shopping center. Namjoon's and Yoongi's favorite spot to talk things thru before a show. After the mall workers go home when their shifts are done, this place is practically desolate of any human contact, with the exception a few cars here and there that sometimes stop, but never for too long. Why would anyone want to sit here anyway? It looks haunted. The smell of wet concrete is horrid and coats your throat, a few light water drops from one of the broken mall pipes make a pretty beat that Namjoon thought would record and use in a song one day. But the absolute worst part is the flickering of the also broken, neon lights on the ceiling. They were so so bright, giving a light blue hue to the puddles of water on the ground. As a testament to just how grimy this parking lot is, this type of lights are most definitely old, not only is the sterile-like color giving it away, but also the intensity. None of the newer buildings in South Korea have these type of neon’s anymore, they take too much energy and are not kind to the eyes. Namjoon couldn't stand them, and neither could Yoongi. Especially Yoongi, since his idea of a perfect day is sitting in a secluded music studio with barely any lights on and as little human contact as possible. Namjoon knows this, because he had to drag him out of the studio to eat more times than Yoongi will ever admit in his life. Even so, this was their spot. This, is where things were taking shape, where they made plans for the future, where they shared lyrics or beats, where ideas were made and remade and so on...They’re creatures of the night, even though they probably don’t realize it.
But right now, it was a place to drink sort of warm beer before a show to calm your nerves.
"Drink some more, maybe it will help." Namjoon said dismissively, while taking another swing from the beer. But underneath that the devil may care attitude, Namjoon was feeling awful. To say that he was feeling overwhelmed right now would be an understatement. It felt like someone was squeezing his lungs with an iron fist. Each and every one of his senses was heightened. Everything was too loud. The beer in his hand was too strong. The smell of wet concrete was making him sick. No matter how many times he does this. he will always be too nervous for words.
"I'd recommend you the same thing." His friend said next to him, making himself more comfortable on the hood of the car and grinning. Always the smartass.
"Why? I feel great." Namjoon said with obvious fake enthusiasm.
"You don’t look like it. Might as well smash that bottle to the ground, you look like you’re about to break it."
He took a quick look at the hand that was holding the bottle. The grip on that poor bottle was so strong that his veins were protruding, and his knuckles turned white. Namjoon was so concentrated in holding all his nerves in that he forgot that he stood absolutely no chance against the human radar that his best friend, Min Yoongi was. Nothing could get past him, not even the simple gestures like turning the page on one of his loved books more aggressively, without Yoongi saying "Got to a bad part?" with a shit-eating grin. This...radar of his was both a blessing and a curse, at least to Namjoon. Right now, it felt like a curse.
"Are you saying this because you don’t want me to waste the beer?” Namjoon responded jokingly.
"Partially”. Yoongi returned his joke with a chuckle. „But also because I know how you’re like before a show. And I honestly don't know what you're so worried about. You've rehearsed this set so many times in the living room, I think I heard you sing it in your sleep. Stop worrying so much."
Easier said than done. When you love this as much as Namjoon does, every missed beat is a dagger straight into the heart. Rapping is all he ever did, and most likely will continue to do. He gained some fame after his first mixtape dropped about a year ago. The response was overwhelmingly positive from his fans, which he held in his heart dearly, but some...felt like what he was saying was “too much”. That's all he saw on social media lately in regard to him. It was either Rap Monster is too explicit, or Rap Monster can't keep a flow. Prudes and cowards. But he didn't really care about the potentially offended, pearl-clutching people that were trying to make him feel bad for being "explicit". They were not going to make him feel bad for expressing himself and being everything that all those people couldn't be. Themselves. Who cares? He only cares about the love that his fans give him, he only has eyes for them. When he sees their faces light up as soon as he entered the stage, nothing else matters. That's what life is all about for him. His fans. How they see him. And tonight's show, is all about that.
"It's all about them right now” was his mantra for tonight's show. As a thank you to the positive response to his mixtape drop, Namjoon decided to do a impromptu concert dedicated to his fans exclusively. Every song that they scream for him to sing, he'll sing it. He loved his fans so much, maybe too much, because he did present the idea of a "no ticket entrance" to Yoongi, which he shut down promptly with the threat of "potential non-fans entering", which could get nasty very quickly. Oh and Namjoon knows all about that. After being in the rap scene for a while and having hundreds of pairs of eyes watching everything you do, you start to learn a little bit about perspective. How you look and how you're looked at. And the only perspective that mattered to him was his fans. He wanted nothing more than to be loved by his fans thru the music that he puts out and make sure that everything he makes is artistically pleasing to him first. He would never in his life put out a half-assed song. He would never have collaborations with people that only want to sit in his spotlight and have a taste of it. No. Not on his time. Not on his hard work.
But that’s not the only perspective. There's another crowd watching behind the curtains, sneering at his success, laughing at his mistakes, making him feel that whatever he does, he'll never be good enough. And of course, they never have the balls to show their faces, they sit in the dark, either typing out hate or sitting posted up in the back of the club he's performing at, watching every move he does before dissecting it and judging it mercilessly. It was only talk and no bite until unfortunately, one night it did get physical, when a man outside of the club tried to fight him and Yoongi as they were leaving after a show. Yoongi is "small but packs a punch" as Namjoon liked to point out sometimes, so when he saw that he tried to fight back, he wasn't that surprise. Fortunately, there was never a fight because the man ran before his friend could get ready, probably getting scared that Yoongi actually tried to push back. Namjoon isn't a fan of violence, unless absolutely necessary, as in, to protect yourself, but besides that, he never genuinely got into a fight. Yoongi on the other case. he has been through a few fights here and there, but never in front of him. He mysteriously comes back at their shared apartment with cuts or bruises that "he doesn't want to talk about it", so Namjoon never pushed him further. He has an idea of where and how...but he'd rather not get on his friend's bad side.
"It's easier said than done" Namjoon said, picking up the conversation again after a long pause in which he thought about that back alley fight.
"I know a cure...if you're interested of course". The same gummy grin, with the same know-it-all attitude. Namjoon would never get tired of his friend's antics and gestures. After being together for so long, he has all his mannerism memorized. Which is why he knows exactly what this "cure" is, but he decided to play along.
"What is it, doctor Min Yoongi?"
Yoongi pushed himself from the hood of the car and walked towards the backseat door, opening it up and retrieving two bottles of beer from the case that they brought earlier in the night. They made a soft clanking sound as Yoongi walked towards hie friend, all smiles of course
"Tonight's prescription."
To Namjoon's surprise, Yoongi placed both bottles besides him on the ground, implying that the second one, was not for himself, but also for Namjoon.
"Both of them??"
"Yes."
"This is my second one Yoongi, I can't be four beers in at a concert, I'll be all over the place!"
His friend laughed, probably at the image of seeing him drunk on stage before continuing
"They're not even that strong. Besides, you're bigger than me, you can take some more. It's the only next best thing to...other stuff that will help you relax."
Namjoon wasn't sure about this. Sure, being a little bit buzzed might make him look and feel more relaxed on stage, but that would be a bit of a pang in his work ethic. And if he starts to get addicted to this before-a-show ritual of drinking, as he's seen with many artists...
"Other stuff..." said Namjoon suspiciously. He couldn't brush off Yoongi's words that easily. "That you couldn't possibly get a hold off..." he eyed him up and down "right, Yoongi?"
After that statement, he saw in Yoongi's eyes that he didn't like what he implied. Drugs here are impossible to get a hold off. Of course, if you're rich and have connections, everything is possible. But what Yoongi lacked in wealth, he made up in "a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy". So it wasn't a huge stretch in the imagination that his friend could make something work. But Namjoon refuse to believe that his friend would get involved in this stuff. He wouldn't let him get involved in this stuff. The problem with that is that Yoongi is extremely secretive, never lets words out unless absolutely necessary, or Namjoon has to pull him by his tongue to speak. It was next to impossible to read what was going on through his mind. But after knowing him for so long, he could read that the brow crease in his face and the look in his eyes bothered him. It was like lightning, so fast that if Namjoon wasn't looking directly in Yoongi's face, he couldn't make out what his reaction might be. He was wrong anyway to assume that he's be mad, because Yoongi replied alarmingly calm.
"I'm going to assume that the beer got to your head for you to say shit like that, so I'll let it slide." He reached down to the ground and grabbed one of the bottles that he brought, popped it open and took a swig. Smiling he continued "Have to revise your prescription...if I gave you two you might've thought I'm a pimp on the low or something."
There was a strain in his voice, as if he was holding back. So much for not getting to his bad side. But Yoongi wasn't currently thinking about that. He was making plans in how protect his friend from the very thing he got suspicious about. Of course, it hurt to hear Namjoon make assumptions about him without evidence to stand on. It was suspicion. That’s it. And he's partially right in his suspicion, but not in the way he thinks. Yoongi had more experience in the rap scene than him, so it was only natural that he would help Namjoon in everything related to it. Especially now, when every eye is on him and what his next move might be. He’s had way too many acquaintances fall in vicious business because of all the temptations that came with fame. To lust after all things that cam make a good person fall from grace becomes incredibly easy and more accessible than ever. So Yoongi’s main priority in regards to Namjoon was to make sure that he stays on track with his career and morals, most of all.
But that came with challenges. First, and quite frankly the only one, is Namjoon himself. Yoongi swears on his life that he has never met a more stubborn person than the taller man that is currently sipping beer next to him, looking all apologetic. Every time he tries to steer his friend from a potentially dangerous situation, he tugs as hard as he can to keep it his way. A good example would be the back alley fight, in which even though Yoongi said to stay back and let him handle it, Namjoon was ready to fight. He yaps about "not liking violence" but Yoongi knows it's bullshit. Ever since he got a little bit of fame, it's like Namjoon is itching at the palms to punch a dude into next week. Success is giving him tunnel vision and it's what Yoongi is scared about the most. All he's going to see in front of him is cash, cars and diamond rings with no regards to what's next to him: family, friends, fans etc. His worst fears about what might become of Namjoon’s career could become a reality, no matter how many warning signs he could place in front of him. But he would be damned if he let this shit happen. He would drill his mind every single day if that’s what it took to stir his friend away from the danger that this life could expose him to.
"I'm sorry." Namjoon was genuine in his apology. He looked straight at Yoongi, even though he wasn't looking back at him. He was staring into the distance, as if to size up the emptiness of the parking lot. It was obvious that Yoongi was upset, and Namjoon felt terrible for that. But at the same time, there was a part of him that was telling him that was justified in his suspicion. A voice in the back of his head telling him that something isn't quite right. Therefore, he continued.
"But you have to understand me too." Yoongi whipped his head quickly at that.
"Understand? Understand what Namjoon?". He came off way more threatening than how he wanted. It was hard not to. This is a touchy subject for them, and it was always a bit of a problem in their relationship. Secrets. They trust each other with their life but not enough to tell each other how they really feel. They lack in communication, both of them, Yoongi was a brick wall and Namjoon was determined to break it, even without Yoongi's will which made things difficult. Also, Namjoon doesn't know when to drop it. Like now right, for example.
"You never tell me anything. Ever. Not even when I'm in the right to question you."
Yoongi felt guilt take over him, it the worst possible way. The kind of guilt that makes someone question if whatever they're doing right now is the right thing to do, even if it makes other feel uncomfortable or unwanted. As if this missed connection that Yoongi put intentionally between them was for a greater purpose. At least, that's what Yoongi liked to think. Sure, he could open up, tell him that he wants nothing more than to just see him succeed at everything he wants, to protect him from this life's fatal choices, to trust him unconditionally...but he wasn't ready for it. Not right now at least. Brick walls have feelings too, you know?
“Joonie-”
“Listen! I get it...” Namjoon said dismissively before drinking the rest of the now-lukewarm beer: “You don’t have to babysit me Yoongi, I know what might happen.” There was stifled anger in his words, that even though he tried to contain to not come off as angry to his friend, Yoongi picked on it.
“I’m just trying to-”
“I know what you’re trying to do! You don’t want me to become like all your other rapper friends. I assure you; it won’t happen.” His face was angled towards the neon light of the parking lot, staring into the distance almost. The lights were so strong it made him want to pull his eyes out…must be hard being so shiny and up there: “Joonie don’t do this, Joonie don’t do that…” he continued in a mocking tone that didn’t help to alleviate the tension that was currently rising.
“I’m not saying all of this to babysit you, I’m saying all of this because I care about you! And don’t you worry about my friends, mind your business!” Now they were both angry at each other. The tension was starting to rise between them. To Yoongi, the parking lot started to shrink, making him feel cornered, and to Namjoon started to expand beyond his comprehension, just like his suspicion and determination. Namjoon really didn't want to fight his friend, especially right before a show. This really wasn't the kind of adrenaline that he wanted. Maybe he should've accepted that second beer.
“Is that why you get calls at 2 AM to pick their drunk asses off from the club? Because your protection worked so well?” He was staring at Yoongi now, with the intent to prove him wrong. That he can do this without ending up like all the others. To prove him that he doesn’t need help from him. He can't be sure why he insists into proving that he's special or cut from a different cloth but the look in Yoongi's eyes made him reconsider his purpose entirely. Yoongi's eyes showed that all thosecalls at 2 AM weren't giving him any sort of pleasure but were making him sad instead. Instead of the anger that Namjoon expected to throw back at him, his eyes were pointed downwards, half lidded, and his arms were gathered more tightly around him
"If you think I like having to prevent my friends from becoming drug addicts and alcoholics, you're very wrong." Yoongi now looked straight at him now. "I just want you to not forget who you are."
Namjoon didn't expect that all, he would have rather have Yoongi curse him out and call him names than to give him this regretful look. He could tell that he was hurting deep inside, deeper than what he could comprehend. His shoulders are slumped as if he's got the world's weight on him, wanting to get crushed and disappear under the ground. What web of feelings does Yoongi have tangled in him, so much that he can't even tell Namjoon how he really feels.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." He got cut off quickly. The fact that he didn't even let him finish his apology send a clear message. To stop talking.
"Just finish that beer."
And so he did. After a few sips, in which the silence hung so heavy between both of them that it felt crushing, the sounds of tires scratching and screaming crashed completely against that silence. Both of the men whipped their heads around confused in the direction of the sounds. The car that pulled up in the parking lot didn't looked like the usual cars that stop sometimes here, it looked quite expensive, which is why that reckless driving made them question who was behind the steering wheel to risk the destruction of such a nice car. After a few more swerves, that left dark round marks on the cement and the smoke cleared out, it stopped next to Yoongi and Namjoon's parked car. The windows were tinted, so you couldn't make out who was in the car. Instead, a song with heavy base was coming out, making the identity of this driver even more mysterious. Yoongi was quick to judge, thinking that it must be some rich father’s son that stole his daddy's car and is trying to show off. He clicked his tongue at the thought, Namjoon thought similarly, but judging by the different pitches of screams that were inside the car as they were swerving, it was highly probable that were girls there. It completed Yoongi's fantasy perfectly. Rich boy trying to show off daddy's car to some girls. Perfect.
But very wrong.
Both of them had quite the surprise when a girl opens up the door from the driver’s seat and exists, slamming the car's door with such force that it startled the two men. The rest of the people in the car come out, two girls and two men, who were so giddy and happy, it was clear that they were at least a little bit buzzed. But Yoongi an Namjoon were two distracted by the designated driver for tonight. She seemed sober, very much so, the look of pure stoic indifference to the screams of her friends said a lot. She checked herself out in the tinted mirror of the car, fixing her hair and outfit. Namjoon was so distracted by her identity, he barely had time to process her appearance. And it was a lot to process. It wouldn't do it justice to call her beautiful. It's like everything about her was effortless, from hair strands that didn't need to be fixed, to her hands smoothing out the creases in her outfit which mapped out the shape of her body. While Namjoon ogled at her without a crumb of shame, Yoongi looked at her face in the car window. He wasn't blind, he could admit that she was a beautiful girl, but there was a complete crash when you looked at her expression. Purely devoid of any emotion. Stone cold, Stoic. Completely unreadable. Maybe she was shy or more reserved, though, that hard cold stare into the car window could hardly be of a shy person. Her friends were calling out to her, making signs to come to the trunk and open it. So this was her car.
"Come ooonnnn...! I don't wont this soju to get warm!”
"Open iiitttt..."
Her friends, presumably, slurred their words like children, like they were trying to make their babysitter open the cabinet with sweets. But she didn’t budge at their insistence. Not even a little bit. She just kept...staring at the car window. Namjoon, in his true philosophical nature, started to draw conclusions "Maybe she's deaf? Or just works as a driver to these people? Did she forget to turn headlights off?" Yoongi was harsher, his experiences spoke for themselves "She hates these people...who wouldn't hate to carry around 4 drunk people at the same time."  Namjoon eventually ran out of space in his mind to draw out his theories, so he gave up and lifted the bottle of beer that had a sip at the bottom, only to stop suddenly. He noticed something. She wasn't looking in the window at herself. She was looking at them. The window tint was so dark you couldn't really make out the reflection. As soon as Namjoon caught that, which he didn't even had time to process fully the extent of how fucking weird it is to stare at someone through a car window, she took it upon herself to point that out, in a lightning fast turn from her car and a scowl directed at them.
"What the fuck are you looking at!?''
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hellomynudebrain · 3 years
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Paths (Jumin X reader) Part#18
The party is near, and between your work and the party, you were more busier than ever. Most of the people could think you were stress or maybe overwhelmed with all the work, but in fact you weren't.  Since that day on Jumin's villa, you felt way lighter than before and Jumin and you become much more closer than before. You spent your free days together, eating in some high class restaurant, playing with Elizabeth, trying bottles of wine while talkign about your lifes. You were more honest, which means the constant fights lessen and he laughed more often  when you met him. You were clumsy sometimes like when you were with Jihyun but Jumin didn't matter, he was having fun spending time with you. 
But after some good days with Jumin, suddenly he became distant and started to arrive late. You didn't want to get worried but you did. Maybe he found someone he really likes and that's why he turned like that.  One night, he offered to bring you to a nice restaurant with excelent Italian food, but in the middle of the dinner he got up from his chair and left the room. 
"Excuse me, I need to attend this phone call"
"Yes, work is work...so you can go...hahaha..."
You were curious about the call, so you followed him and see his reactions. The restaurant had the perfect wall for you to hide. So you put yourself behind it and picked on one side. You could see him smiling and he looked so relaxed while he was making the phone call. Maybe he did found someone. That bothered you, but you weren't his "real" girlfriend, which means you haven't the right to be jelous. Resignated, you went back to your table. 
A few minutes later he came back to the table, too. But his smile was so abroad that it was hard to hide it. Sudden, you weren't hungry and the conversation wasn't interesting anymore. You only looked down the food and answer his questions without care. Jumin was so happy that this time he didn't notice the change of your mood. The rest of the night passed. 
The next day you were thinking in Jumin's call. Maybe he did find someone to be with and he didn't end your relationship since you have a contract, and the contract establised that you have to be together until the party. Your chest hurted a little with the thought of you and Jumin spliting off  after that day. You were confused about your feelings. 
The gaze that you had was lost on a wall of your office until that trance was broke off by you phone.It was Jumin. His timing was perfect almost as if you were calling him with your mind. You picked your phone, hesitated a bit, however you anwered.
"....Good afternoon....What can I do for you, Jumin?"
"Oh! It's good that you answered me like that. Tonight, I'll pick you up, driver Kim is going to arrive to you work and deliver a package with  the appropiate attire for this evening date. Please wear it, I didn't buy it. It was Seven and MC's purchase, so  if the outfit is not from your liking, it's not my fault....Anyhow...be ready at 8 pm, that's all." 
He hang up. 
You were surprise with the speed he talked. It sounded like he was in a hurry....Maybe he was about to dump you and that was the reason Seven and MC bought the outfit, maybe he used them to do the dirty job and it was a break up outfit...
Diver Kim arrived to your office and delivered the  package in your hands. He smiled at you like hidding somehing. Now, you were sure. Jumin was a bout to dump you and all were part of the plan, even driver Kim. After, you hesitated to wear whatever the package had, at the end you put yourself together and open the package.  
The dress was a simple but lovely red dress, light and with fluid movements when you weared it, dance heels and water proff make up.All was perfect to dance. How the hell Seven and MC new about your love for  dancing? Maybe Jumin will invite you to dance and dump you on the dance floor? Your mind was playing tricks on you and the worst, each scene was worst than the next one. You looked beautiful, you said when you were standing in front of the mirror on the restrooms of your work, but your sweaty hands and your dry mouth were telling to not go. But was too late, Jumin was outside of your wok place waiting for you. You took the elevator, you wanted to keep inside there all the eternity but unfourtunately, you arrived to the first floor and Jumin's limo is right in front of the entrance. You don't have where to run away. 
The door of the limo opened and inside  Jumin was wearing a light T-shirt in black  with brown colored jeans and a jacket. That surprise you, since you met him, you never saw him like that. He was about to dump you, it was for sure. He wouldn't dress like that for anyone at least was a woman who made him to do it. Again, you hesitated. The coward attitudes weren't your thing, you speak and act with no fear, but entering in that limo was the most terrifying thing in your life. But you put yourself together again, and with your fearful guts, you steped inside and jump to your broke up scene. You were nervous thinking in the worst scenes. Jumin wasn't good either. The clothes made them uncomfortable, and someway hard to think in something to talk. At this time, you have lost the count how many time you have this kind of mood in the limo with Jumin. The limo stoped and your fear and more scenes came to your mind, maybe Jumin would introduce to his real girlfriend and they will kiss infront of you...and how will you feel? How are you going to feel? The answer shaked you inside, you would feel broken again. 
Again lost in your thoughts, Jumin called you and brought you back to reality. You looked him in the eyes, your ideas and feelings were clear but at the same confusing. He smiled to you, took your hand and even with all the scenes in your head, you became brave again. 
The building was an old house with european style and flowers all over it. On the backround, you could hear music, but not any kind music. It was salsa music, cumbia and merengue, the musica you like to dance.
Once you and Jumin entered, a bunch of people scream...
"Surprise!"
"What?! Why?" 
You felt lost in words, that wasn't nothing like the scenes on your head. Your surprise got bigger when a women with long brown hair, white skin and hazelnut eyes came to you accompanied with a redhead with a funny pattern on his glasses and yellow eyes. 
"Hello! Agent 707 is here with Agents MC! Did we surprise you, fair lady?" The red head man talked.
You only nooded with your wide open mouth but no sound came from it.
"*giggles* That's great! Sorry, I'm MC and this crazy man is my husband" "....Oh, thank you! But today it's not my birthday..." You answered with a really confused voice.
"hahaha....Of course not silly! This is your welcome party to the RFA!" MC aswered you back.
All disoriented, Jumin took you from you arm and seat you in a table. "I want to apologize with you..."
"Why?" 
"Because I was a little distant with you the last few days, but it was to keep myself quite about the welcome party"
"Is this because of me?"
"Yes, MC and Saeyong wanted to give you a surprise as a welcome and as a gratitude for helping with the party" 
"Wow! Really?! This...is really a big surprise....hahaha....now I feel like a dumb for all my crazy ideas"
"What crazy ideas?" Jumin asked with curiosity. 
You bite your tongue.
"...no...forget it"  
All the RFA came to you and gave you a welcome gift. Zen and Eve gave you a kit for skincare, Yoosung and Alice, a direction of a refuge for cats and a collar for your next cat, Jaehee and Saeran a pair of coffee cups for couples and finally MC and Saeyong a RFA ID, however when those last two go away. Saeyong came back to you and whispered something on your ear. 
"Here, use them wisely~" And ran away wiking his eye. He put a little box on your hand, it was wrapped in a pretty red paper. You got courious, but suddenly Ali took your hand and brought you to the food table. You put the little box and put it on Jumin's jacket.
You eat and drink, the party could be small but all the people were really enjoyed it. 
There was even a dance floor. Ali was teaching how to dance latin rhythms, Eve and Zen were kiling it on the dance floor dancing as profesionals, Jaehee  was talking and drinking with MC since she has a broken leg, thought Saeran was only drinking juice as Saeyong was making fun of him.
However, Jumin and you were seeing all having fun, you wanted to dance but you were a coward and didn't want to ask Jumin. And Jumin was embarrased because he only knew how to dance waltz and tango, and none of the songs they were dancing was one. 
Zen noticed you wanted to get to dance and since Jumin hadn't the guts to take you at the dance floor. He went to your place and grabed your hand. Zen and you were on the dance floor dancing, at first, you felt weird because Zen was dancing with Eve and they were hell good, but at that moment you were dancing as you used to do before and enjoyed it. Both of you were dancing in perfect synchrony, Eve was happy to see both of you dancing, however, there was a man who started to drink with a sour face, a bottle of wine when you started to dance with Zen. Jumin.
Jumin felt rage against Zen, because he was dancing so near to you, touching you...All that made him mad, and each glass of wine he drank made him madder. 
You were having the time of the year, dancing until your feet hurted, so happy that made you thirsty which made you drink more. 
Finally, Jumin tired of seeing you dance with Zen, stood up from his seat and walked through the dance floor, tapped on Zen's shoulder and talked.
"Zen, I think it's enough dance with MY girlfriend. Love, I don't know how to dance this rhythms, could you teach me?"
You looked Zen, and Zen as a gentleman, set aside and let Jumin dance with you. 
Jumin was stiff but as a patient teacher, you helped him to move and started to dance. His movements were clumpsy but that only made both of you laugh as sillies. 
The song changed and a salsa with a smother sound came, you felt awkard but Jumin took you from you waist and got closer to you. The tension was evident. You looked at him he looked at you, your noses were near as you felt his breath on you, his touch and the smooth music on the background. You automatically close you eyes and he got near your mouth. 
His lips and your lips touched  in a kiss, suddenly he turned his kiss deeper and his tongue started to play with yours. You wanted more and more, but you were interrupted.
"*whistling* Get a room and use my present!!" The redhead with glasses screamed at you.
You remembered, both of you were in a party and you kissed in front of them. You stoped and felt embarrased, but even so, you want more, what made you more embarrased and redder. 
Jumin looked at you and couldn't stand how cute you were at that moment. Maybe was the alcohol or the dance, but he lean to you, kiss your cheek and whispered something on your ear. 
"Let's go back home and continue this~"
You were mesmerized for the kiss and agreed with him. Both say goodbye to everyone and ran to the limo.
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almondbiscotti · 3 years
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Top 10 Netflix Watches in 2020
A roundup of my favourites from what I’ve watched this year on Netflix.
 1.       Alice in Borderland
I only recently finished this (in like 2 days) and it is the best thing I watched this year. 10/10 will recommend, will pine for season 2, will attempt the webtoon even to keep my obsession at bay.
If you have not heard of AIB, you must be living under a rock. Or don’t have Netflix which is close to the same thing. The premise of AIB is that 3 friends suddenly find themselves in an alternate Tokyo where all the residents have mysteriously disappeared. They quickly realise they have to play pretty sadistic games to in order to survive and lives are dispensable. It has elements of Battle Royale (hey, also Japanese! The Japanese have some serious issues.) but I found AIB more engaging and suspenseful than Battle Royale because unlike Battle Royale which can be thought of as one long killing game, AIB is a series of many, extremely stressful but shorter games that aren’t just about killing each other.
What works so wonderful for AIB is the storytelling. It has AMAZING storytelling. How the characters progress from stage to stage and the mystery behind this “country” they’re in is kind of slowly revealed, how there are parallels with Alice in Wonderland, the playing cards, the excellently fleshed out characters. *Chef’s kiss* Chishiya is my favourite character. LONG LIVE CHISHIYA! I don’t care if everyone else dies but CHISHIYA MUST LIVE.
There are things I didn’t like about it, but it’s less to do with the show and more to do with Japanese acting/dramas in general. I find it very unnatural when the characters give very dramatic outbursts or attempt to act gangster-ish but I find this is very common in most Japanese shows. So I like to believe it’s a cultural thing. I also didn’t like the pointless skin showing and sex. I mean, we get an entire scene where a girl in a bikini fights a katana wielding mad man. But I think it might be more because it was adapted from a webtoon and it’s just adapting the anime style? And EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER has a depressing backstory, like every single one has some weird ass issue. (Tell me it doesn’t sound like Battle Royale.)
But overall, AIB’s winning combination of great world building, excellent storytelling and likeable characters, makes it my favourite in 2020.
 2.       Kim’s Convenience
I’ve talked about Kim’s Convenience before so I shall not go too much into it. It’s great, just watch it. If only for Appa. Just watch it for Appa. Appa is best. I love Appa.
 3.       Kingdom (S2)
I started on Kingdom quite a lot later than most people. Mostly because I’m a coward and horror is well, horrifying. So I watched Season 1 about 1-2 weeks before Season 2 was released. Must say I’m glad I did cos hello cliff hanger much?!?!
S2 was great too. Has all the elements I loved in S1. Excellent storytelling, the suspense, the build up, NO ROMANCE (makes it a frickin unicorn in Korealand), believable villains but the thing I enjoyed the most about Kingdom is the relationship between characters. SO PURE. SO REAL. SO AMAZING. MUST PROTECT.
The one thing I didn’t like was how the damn characters like to do this thing where they’d just freeze and AIIIISIH FFFFFFUUUUCCCCKKKKK and draw out the suspense when a literal tonne of zombies are coming for them. Like dude, RUN. But no. They will pose there like fucking idiots for like 2 minutes while the zombies come closer and closer till FINALLY, someone goes “RUN, YOU FOOLS” before they move a muscle. It’s nonsensical, it’s frustrating but it happens in every damn Korean show so… I’ll give it a pass. It’s not the show, it’s Korea.
No news if there will be a season 3 but there is a special episode being released next year, a side sequel of sorts. So… yay?
Still, IS GREAT. WATCH IT. LOVE IT. DESPAIR WHEN IT’S OVER.
 4.       Queen’s Gambit
This baby made chess sexy. How it did it, I have no idea. But 10/10 will recommend. It made chess so alluring, I downloaded a damn app and played 2 games and remembered how much I sucked at chess and promptly deleted the app again.
Anya Taylor-Joy is beautiful. Will recommend just for her face alone. And the beautiful cinematography. Beautiful, the whole thing is just beautiful.
I didn’t like the guy that played Benny though. Seriously what a weird casting choice. Dude is supposed to play some devil may care gangster but he looks like he’d fall over if breeze came by.
I think what makes Queen’s Gambit so appealing is that you see Beth succeed and rise up, then falls dramatically down but she comes back and triumphs over her chess opponents and her own issues. It’s essentially a story of overcoming adversary, of triumph. Gives you hope. Gave me hope. Made me want to play chess. Made me watch entire Youtube videos explaining the chess games featured in it. I’ll say that’s a win.
 5.       Sweet Home
My (and apparently the rest of the world’s) latest obsession. Well, my obsession is actually less the show, more just one character/actor.
CHA HYUN SOO IS A PRECIOUS BEAN THAT MUST BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS. So frickin precious, with his broomstick spear and mismatched socks. I. LOVE.
But honestly, it is a pretty good show, my obsession with Song Kang (the actor) aside. The world building in Sweet Home was pretty well done, characters were compelling though as with Kingdom, characters do the same thing where they just stand there and freeze when danger is about to descend on them. Seriously, I lost count of the times I yelled HELLO FOOL RUN!??! at the screen. If the Spanish have magical dicks, then Koreans have idiotic legs.
I think the director/writer made a deliberate decision not to explain how the infection (if it’s even an infection) occurs, how monsters can be defeated or if they can even be defeated, and how the monsters’ abilities/traits are determined. And I enjoyed the mystery of not knowing and could understand the characters’ despair better because they were just as bewildered as me. (Me being me of course went to read a bit and it is explained more in the webtoon the show is adapted from but, I like to think the two are different.)
I find myself comparing it to Alice In Borderland quite a bit. Might be because I watched them one after another but also, the main characters share such similar traits, they even look similar. And with that comparison, AIB won. AIB has better storytelling and pacing. But Sweet Home has more characters you feel for and more deaths you care about. I cried a FUCK TON watching Sweet Home.
It’s good. Would recommend. If only to stare at Song Kang’s perfect face. 😊 Oh oh oh and the Soundtrack is also 10/10.
 6.       Derry Girls
I did not expect to like Derry Girls as much as I did. This was supposed to be a mindless Circuit Breaker watch for me but it was SO FUNNY! I related so hard to the characters because I was from an all girls catholic school in my youth.
Each episode is a bit of a standalone so you don’t even have to watch the episodes in chronological order. But they are all SO DAMN FRICKIN FUNNY. That’s what I loved the most about Derry Girls. It’s just funny. Watch it if you want something to make yourself happier.
Also, Irish accents are LOVE. That alone is worth the A grade.  
 7.       Criminal United Kingdom S2
Depressing as fuck but so engrossing. It’s literally watching a mystery unfold. The acting is also 10/10. Though the episode with Kunal Nayyar (Raj from BBT) made me very uncomfortable because I couldn’t unsee Raj.
What makes Criminal even more amazing is that there is only one set, an interrogation room. So the show can only rely on the writing and acting to be good. And it is really really very good. Not light watching but feed your soul with the excellent artistry.
(S1 is just as good as S2. 100% will recommend the entire Criminal Series TBH. France, Germany and Spain all are good.)
 8.       Teenage Bounty Hunters
CRACK. 10/10 SOLID CRACK. The show is as ridiculous as the title suggests. But I enjoyed it because it was so engaging! Storytelling was great, characters were great and IT WAS SO FUNNY. Great light watching. 😊
 9.       Dirty Money
ALSO DEPRESSING AS FUUUUUUUUCK. But I learned so much from it. Will not recommend watching it all at one go but it was hella educational. I feel like it opened my eyes to many things.
 10.   Dr Jason Leong Hashtag Blessed
SO FUCKING FUNNY. Nuff said.
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My faves after the first ranking announcement (+ my thoughts/impressions of them)
I'm crying okay
#1: Kim Yohan
He just has this vibe around him that makes you fall for him
Not my top pick, but he certainly has what it takes to be an idol
#3: Song Hyeongjun
Added to my list after ep 5
Soft™
I'm generally not into the young/boyish charm, but there are just some exceptions lol. Oh my girl would be another example (on that note, listen to their new comeback "The fifth season" it's a bop👌)
May not be my top pick, but you have to acknowledge this guy
Worked his ass off to get to that spot
#4: Kim Wooseok
Center-material
Idol-material
(support up10tion you cowards)
(also blue rose deserved at least a win🧐 they were robbed)
#8: Song Yuvin
Vocalssss
The final line-up needs someone like him
Funny dude
(myteen has some great songs, you should go check them out)
#16: Kim Kookheon
1/3 of my top picks
All rounded guy (dancing, sincing, stage presence), he's got it all
STOP SLEEPING ON HIM MNET
Meme lord (if you haven't seen his video with the weird food hat you should go watch it)
He's so funny without even trying, I love his sense of humor
The leader of myteen jumped out when yuvin's mic broke (he also looked so proud when yuvin performed successfully)
I'm soft for him
#19: Choi Byungchan
That girl girls girls performance? Yes.
His hips don't lie
This doesn't just go for him but all the trainees that have already debuted but
You can seriously tell when someone already experienced performing on stage many times
Quality performance
#20: Tony
Another soft™
I love the English outbursts he has here and there xD
#21: Lee Hangyul
If he doesn't debut then idk
Hella stage presence
Also hella attractive
Mnet's really trying to give him the manly image
They took that scene of him not being scared of ghosts and milked it (not complaining tho more screen time for him)
#23: Kim Hyeonbin
Growls for day mhmm
Deep voice
Born in 2001 wth how is he younger than me
He ripped that no more days performance apart man
#25: Lee Jinhyuk
Dad™
Underrated rapper
Underrated in general
Lead the boss team with Seungwoo and they both deserved much more
Stable performer (all the experience being an idol definetly came through)
#26: Kim Dongbin
Wasn't too sure about him when I saw that he's participating again
But he's improved tremendously
The seventh sense wouldn't have been the same without him, he did so well
#28: Cho Seungyoun
2/3 of my top picks
NO. 1 IN MY HEART
All rounded, hella talented
From main rapper of Uniq to main vocal of the love shot team
Made love shot his bitch
HILARIOUS
Impressions for days
How can someone turn 180 degrees from on to off stage? It's like 2 different people
You don't understand how happy I am that he slowly started rising in ranks
I love him
#29: Yuri
Meme lord the 2nd
His reactions are hilarious xD
*cue his :0 face*
Tbh i didnt expect much of the esteem trainees since they're models (like yg k+ in s2) but they did pretty well
Idol Material (why didn't sm debut him with nct??)
How does he do the helium voice???
He's one of the best looking people I've ever seen
#30: Han Seungwoo
Made Boss his bitch
High notes so good they could clear your acne
Someone please shower with him
I swear idk what they did with the Boss performamce, but i fell for him right then and I couldn't get up since
I fell hard
#35: Kang Seokhwa
I'm so happy that the individual trainees are doing well this season
His vocals are underrated
I hope he makes yg regret not debuting him
Not scared of ghosts lol
#36: Lee Midam
Wtf is his rank, he deserves a way higher one
SLEEP ON BEDS NOT LEE MIDAM
Hard carried the 7th sense
Istg if he doesn't make it I'm throwing hands
#45: Baekjin
3/3 of my top picks
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY I WAS WHEN HE GOT SOME SECONDS OF SCREEN TIME
Like he said, he's been break dancing since he arrived lol
But he's really good at it soo
Improves so much since mixnine
"it'S bAeKJin tiME"
I'm looking forward to the position battle so he can show everyone who's the dancing king
May be short but like yuvin said "small peppers are spicier"
#58: Peak
Rakes in millions of views
Damn son
YOUNG WTH younger than me????
His english is niceeee
Eliminated, but I'll keep supporting ;-;
#61: Anzardi Timothee:
Maybe it's really superficial of me to like him cuz he's also half-asian like me, but seeing him participating made me really happy
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After the Fall Ch.14 Reflections
LoganLight, AO3
Notes:
Trigger Warning: Panic Attack.
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Alya was confused.
She didn't like being confused. Even if the source of her confusion was making her other friends happy. Things should make sense when you put them together. That's not to say she didn't see the pattern.
Nino started talking to her about his music again. And more than that, actually sharing it with her. Letting her listen to unfinished mixes and accepting her input.
Marinette was having bursts of inspiration Alya hadn't seen in months. And she wasn't ripping out the Chat Noir inspired designs from her sketchbook like she used to, either.
Alya knew exactly who was responsible for these positive changes: Adrien Agreste!
. . . Okay, so it was probably too convenient for Adrien to be responsible for everything. But he was definitely a major factor!
Nino was spending more time with Adrien (and Kagami). Alya was happy Nino wasn't coming to her about Adrien being reserved around him anymore . . . Although, it was a bit weird that Nino wasn't being as forthcoming about his best friend as he used to be.
Marinette had the opposite reaction, her girl had so many thoughts they all came out in a jumble. They had talked late into the night about that first conversation after half a year of stuttering and single syllable answers. A conversation Adrien had started.
Maybe she was reading too much into this. It was normal to be happy when your friend starts talking to you again . . . But she needed to distract herself from Chat Noir.
Ladybug probably regrets telling me about that.
Alya was in the unenviable position of wanting to respect Ladybug's privacy and really, really wanting to know what happened to Chat Noir. Even if she'd only asked a handful of times her questions upset Ladybug. And that just wouldn't do.
So, without the boys around Rena Rouge had apologized for her behavior. That wasn't something she wanted to repeat anytime soon. Ladybug had enough to deal with as it was.
Still. Sometimes Ladybug acted . . . un-Ladybug-like. The guys wouldn't say anything so that left Rena Rouge to tactfully suggest maybe not putting their heavy hitter in the back. Alya understood why; Ladybug already lost one Black Cat, she wasn't about to lose another one.
Alya put those thoughts into the back of her mind to better focus on the blond enigma in front of her.
Adrien went from being Chloe's friend to her best friend's crush to her boyfriend's best friend. Throughout that first year Alya had spent precious little time actually being Adrien's friend. Instead focusing on Marinette's elaborate . . . she didn't want to say 'schemes'.
Alya hadn't noticed until Marinette's plans went from trying to gain Adrien's affection to trying to help Adrien open up.
And I thought her romance-oriented plans were out there.
. . . Alya really shouldn't be doing this . . . But she wanted to help. She wanted to know. And she wasn't the only one; the whole class wanted to know too.
Good thing Alix is here.
That girl made sure everyone had their head on straight. Especially Kim. Alix was good at talking Marinette out of some . . . questionable ideas. And keeping the art room from bugging Rose about her bandmate too much.
Or she used to. Everyone seemed to have accepted that whatever-it-is would remain a mystery. Adrien was smiling after all. Playing video games with Max, taking part in Kim's silly challenges, giving Nathaniel and Marc constructive criticism (not sure how that happened) on their comics, and basically being more involved with his friends than ever.
Maybe she should just let this go? Adrien wasn't the only one that ever died in an akuma attack or the only one to take it this hard. Alya shuddered as she remembered Syren.
"Trixx, what do you think?"
"I think you've been staring at a guy who isn't your boyfriend longer than socially acceptable," Trixx replied from his hiding place in her hair.
Alya blushed. "I have not!"
Some of the students in the courtyard turned to give her funny looks. Thankfully Adrien and Kagami were too far away to hear. Alya held her phone a bit higher, pretending to speak into it. No, it wasn't recording. Yet.
"Mm, you kind of have though. It's starting to reach Marinette levels," Trixx pointed out.
"I'm nowhere near Marinette levels!" Alya whisper-shouted.
"True. She never took pictures."
Alya groaned. Or maybe it was a growl.
"Didn't Nino make it abundantly clear that Adrien doesn't want to tell anyone else whatever-it-is?" Trixx reminded her.
"According to the Bro Code it is totally prohibited for me to reveal confidential info without the express permission of said bro . . . Sorry, dude."
". . . I wanna be mad at him."
"For being as good a friend to Adrien as you are to Marinette?"
"Majestia help me. It sounds so terrible when you put it like that."
Trixx patted her head. "You're a good Fox. And part of being a good Fox is knowing when to keep a secret."
"Even though I don't actually know it?"
"Especially then."
Alya lowered her phone. "So . . . No more snooping around Adrien?"
"What're you asking me for?"
"Right," Alya stood straighter and repeated herself with more conviction. "Right! Adrien is my friend who greatly values his privacy and I should respect-"
"M. DUPAIN! W-w-what are you doing here!?"
Alya looked at Adrien again and standing beside him was indeed Tom Dupain. How had she missed someone so tall? Alya walked toward them.
"-seen Marinette?" Tom Dupain asked.
"N-n-no." Adrien took a step back. "She m-might be in the art room."
Kagami grasped one of his hands tightly and stepped forward. "I'm sure Marinette just forgot to turn her phone back on . . . M. Damocles! M. Dupain is looking for Marinette."
Adrien quickly backed away, removing his hand from Kagami's who followed a step behind. Kagami positioned herself between Tom Dupain and Adrien.
"-really come to the office first." M. Damocles chastised.
"Oh, yes, of course! It's just . . . where is that again?"
Alya passed the two adults who didn't notice Adrien curling in on himself.
"It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him . . . It wasn't him!"
"What- What's going on?" she asked Kagami.
Kagami ignored her and reached toward Adrien, who was pressing himself against the wall. "Adrien-"
"Don't. Touch. Me."
Kagami snatched her hand back. Adrien took deep breaths. Alya restrained herself from asking more questions.
Nino zoomed past her. "Adrien! Dude, what-"
Kagami jerked him to a stop.
"Hey!"
"He said no touching," Kagami explained.
"Oh . . ." Nino glanced from Adrien to their surroundings, his frown deepened.
Alya followed his gaze and realized they were attracting attention.
Nino gave Kagami a you-know-what-to-do look. She nodded and turned to glare at the gawkers; suddenly everyone was very interested in something else.
"Hey, bro? You wanna, maybe, go somewhere less . . . public?"
". . . Don't talk to me like that."
". . . You're totally causing a scene and I know you hate that. So get your butt moving, dude!"
Adrien's lips twitched. "Okay." He wouldn't meet anyone's eyes as he made his way to the boy's restroom.
"Nino!" This time Alya reached out to stop him. "Wait. What . . . What triggered him?"
Nino glanced between Alya's expectant face and Adrien's retreating back. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ah, yeah. Look, dude, Adrien needs me now but, uh . . . Kagami! You explain!"
Alya turned to see Kagami's look of surprise and then turned back just in time to see her boyfriend disappear into the boy's room.
Why, that little-
"Coward!" Kagami exclaimed.
I'm the only one allowed to insult my boyfriend!
Alya mentally shook the automatic thought away. "So, how 'bout that explanation?"
"My honor prevents me from divulging anything without Adrien's consent," Kagami replied neutrally.
That sounded suspiciously similar to what Nino had told her . . . Although it wasn't any different from what Kagami had said before. The idea that the three of them had planned specifically for her left Alya feeling  . . . conflicted.
"All I want is to know what happened so I can help! Then Adrien won't have to deal with . . . This!" Alya gestured vaguely around them.
Kagami's eyes softened. "Today was a special circumstance. I doubt he's encountered this trigger at all since the incident."
Alya tried not to feel annoyed at the deflection. "This trigger? What was different today?"
Kagami just raised an eyebrow.
"Adrien, you, no Nino, no Marinette, M. Dupain . . ." Alya's eyes widened. "Weredad!"
"Keep your voice down!"
"Of course! The timing matches up! That's why he . . . Oh."
"It took you this long to piece that together?"
"I was a bit distracted at finding out one of my friends died! Not turned into a statue or encased in magical ice or . . . Or anything else! Died."
Kagami's look shifted. "Is this the first time it's happened to someone close to you?"
"No, but . . . It's been a while."
"I see." Kagami must've seen that Alya didn't want to talk about that with her. "Have you told Marinette?"
"My girl has enough to deal with. I can't just go 'Hey, Marinette! Adrien died half a year ago and didn't tell anyone because reasons!' "
"Perhaps you should say that louder so everyone can hear," Kagami said sarcastically.
Alya ignored this and barreled on with her rant. "No way! Not doing that! Especially with Weredad involved. She has this weird guilt about that villain! Knowing Adrien got caught up in it will only make her feel worse!"
"And how would Adrien feel if I betrayed his trust by telling you something he doesn't want me to?"
. . . Well, drat.
"That's a fair point but I already figured out Weredad. Isn't there anything you can tell me about what happened?"
"Adrien didn't offer specifics and I didn't ask."
Alya sighed in defeat. Kagami hadn't budged since this whole affair started. At this point Alya was just questioning Kagami out of habit.
"At least I know why Adrien was avoiding my girl now."
"Right. That's why he did that."
". . . Do you think Nino needs help?"
"Boy's bathroom. And no, he's much better at getting Adrien to 'chill' than I am."
"You three seem close."
"Hasn't Nino provided exposition?"
"My boyfriend is suspiciously unforthcoming"
Kagami smiled. "He really is terrible at keeping secrets."
"Oh, you have no idea."
Kagami gave her a thoughtful look. "How is Marinette?"
"Well, now that 'Sunshine' is talking to her again Marinette's obs- concern is at an all time low. Thanks for that."
Kagami shook her head. "I should be thanking you. I don't think Adrien would have opened up to Nino when he did if you hadn't talked to him. You're a good friend."
Gratitude swelled in Alya's chest at the words.
"He's had fewer off day's with Nino around," Kagami continued. "Today notwithstanding."
"Do you think they'll stay in there all day?" Alya remembered Adrien's previous episodes.
"Adrien's stronger than you think," Kagami stated with conviction.
As if to prove her point that's when the boys emerged. Nino looked at the girls nervously. Adrien seemed embarrassed but held his head up.
Kagami stepped toward them and raised an eyebrow "Well?"
Adrien took a deep breath and said, "I need to see M. Dupain again."
"What!?" Alya exclaimed.
Kagami's other eyebrow rose to meet the first then she narrowed her eyes accusingly at Nino.
"Dude, it's not my fault! I tried to talk him out of it! Bro's seriously determined."
Kagami looked at Adrien. "You shouldn't push yourself before you're ready. Healing takes time."
"I've had time. Now I need to face my demons." Adrien squared his shoulders.
"That's great and all," Alya said. "But you faced him ten minutes ago. Didn't turn out so great."
"Understatement," Nino agreed.
Adrien gave a questioning look to Kagami.
"She knows about Weredad," Kagami explained.
"Ah." Adrien pushed his surprise aside and looked at them, unwavering. "He took me by surprise. I can do this! . . . If you help me."
Well . . . That's just cheating.
Kagami stared at him for a moment. Apparently satisfied with what she saw Kagami nodded. "Alright."
"What!?" Nino cried out, full of concern. "But . . . Dude . . ."
"He says he can do it," Kagami said, giving Nino a meaningful look.
Nino glanced between Adrien and Kagami, his worried eyes landed on Alya.
"I'm in," Alya said.
Adrien gave her a grateful smile.
Nino slumped in resignation but quickly straitened and set his cap. "Right dudes! If we're gonna do this someone needs to look out for Marinette and Chloe."
Alya understood perfectly. Didn't want Marinette seeing Adrien react badly to her dad. And as for Chloe . . .
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"Of course Queen Bee is the best superhero!" Chloe exclaimed. "But at least Panthera is much better than that mangy alley cat who turned tail and ran!"
The courtyard was suddenly very quiet except for Marinette's growling beside Alya. Nino and Kagami stood next to a stiff Adrien, shooting daggers at Chloe.
"What?" Chloe asked disdainfully. "Anyone with eyes can see it. Ladybug herself told me Chat Noir just up and left! Right?"
Sabrina nodded vigorously.
Alya wasn't sure who was angrier: her or Nino. That was not what Ladybug told them! Alya opened her mouth to launch verbal barbs at Chloe, but her words were lost in the cacophony of voices.
"How dare you!?"
"Like you'd know a good superhero-"
"Chloe Bourgeois!"
"-if he fell on your head!"
"Chat Noir was an awesome hero!"
"Ladybug would be ashamed of-"
"Oh, please!'" Chloe cut them off . "Like you haven't been thinking the same thing! We're all better off without that-"
"Shut. Up."
Everyone stared at Adrien in varying degrees of shock. He was trembling, eyes down and fists clenched.
"A-all you do is i-insult everyone around you. Criticizing e-every flaw l-like you don't have any." Adrien looked up to glare at Chloe who stood frozen. "That- That's not okay! J-just because you're in pain doesn't give you the right to m-make everyone else as miserable as you!"
Adrien bolted. Chloe lurched after him. "Adrien, wait!"
She didn't get far as Nino blocked her path. "No, you don't, dude!"
"Outta my way you-"
Kagami walked up to Nino's side "No."
Fluttering black wings appeared in the corner of Alya's eye. She whipped her head toward it so fast pain flared in her neck . . . But it was only a white butterfly.
Unease filled Alya as she gazed around at her agitated classmates. Alix and Kim glared angrily at Chloe. The blond herself demanded to see Adrien, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. Rose and Juleka held each other while Luka stood protectively near them. Max was attempting to calm a confused Markov. It was a powder keg.
Alya turned to a troubled Marinette who gazed in the direction Adrien fled. "Girl, you gotta do something."
Marinette snapped out of her thoughts. "M-me?"
"Yes, you!" Alya took in everyone around them with her hands. "This is one black butterfly short of an akuma attack."
"Yeah, but . . ."
"They'll listen to you, Marinette."
Determination filled Marinette"s eyes as she nodded. "Make sure Adrien doesn't get akumatized."
"You got it, girl."
As Marinette went to pacify a former Bee, a Turtle, and a potential Dragon, Alya searched for Adrien. He wasn't hard to find.
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Notes:
Alya is being introspective (and a bit hard on herself) due to circumstances. Trixx can totally hide in her hair and no one can convince me otherwise! Trixx is either a more nuanced Plagg or a more mischievous Tikki: I can't decide which.
The second part is a flashback in case that wasn't clear.
Chloe is the most vocal critic of Chat Noir. If she was less clingy or if Adrien was more vulnerable I believe he'd take it MUCH harder than he does in canon. Though he might be repressing that like he does everything else. Also, Adrien is her main motivator when it comes to improving herself. Take him away and she regresses easily.
As for Alya's observations in the beginning: All of her friends are under new and stressful conditions that have only really been normalizing recently. Her boyfriend and best friend are creative types and stress is very good at giving you a creative block.
(Also, I’m taking liberties with panic attacks because I didn’t research them at all when I wrote this. Sorry, about that.)
Ch.1  Ch.2  Ch.3   Ch.4  Ch.5  Ch.6  Ch.7  Ch.8  Ch.9  Ch.10  Ch.11  Ch.12  Ch.13     Ch.15  Ch.16  Ch.17  Ch.18  Ch.19  Ch.20  Ch.21  Ch.22
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marshmallow-phd · 5 years
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Charming Instruction
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Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe
Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au
Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader
Summary: You were just an average, everyday college student desperately trying to graduate. Only one more year stood between you and that celebratory walk. However, due to an oversight by your adviser, it seemed that the one class you never wanted to take was required to take that walk. It wasn’t the subject matter that made you uncomfortable. It was the teacher. Your heart sped up every time you saw him and you didn’t want that distraction in your life, attractive or not. With meeting him now an inevitability, you swore that you would keep your hormones in check. But after your first day of class, a series of hi jinks and weird situations lead you to discovering the secret of your professor and why he seemed to bombard your every thought.
Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final
**
Jiyoung kept her attention on the road, not even silently judging you as she took you back home. You weren’t sure if that was because the two of you didn’t really know each other or if because – perhaps just a little bit – she understood.
The first words she spoke were to simply ask you where you lived once the city limits came into view. You directed her towards the student apartments and fell quiet again.
Outside your building, you unbuckled your seatbelt and softly thanked her for driving you the long way home. Before you could open the door, however, Jiyoung pressed down on the lock button, trapping you inside with a click. You whipped your head around, eyes round and wide.
“Look,” Jiyoung sighed, turning in her seat to face you, “I’m not going to lecture you or scold you or anything. I’m just going to say that I know what you’re going through right now.” A little sympathetic smile turned up in the corner of her mouth. “Your heart is hurting. A lot. But once the pain has dulled down, listen to it. It’ll tell you where to go from there.”
You frowned, fingers still glued to the door handle. “What do you mean you know what I’m going through? You’re with Jongdae. You’re happy.”
“I wasn’t always.” Running her hands down the steering wheel, she moved her gaze down to the radio. “I was in love with Jongdae for the longest time. All that pining from a far stuff. He – uh – kind of ignored me for a while. And when he was finally looking at me, it wasn’t all sunshine and fireworks. It took a lot a work, but we got there eventually. I just… I just don’t think you should run away quite yet.”
“I’m not running away,” you defended. “I shouldn’t have ever attached myself to Jun- Professor Kim. He’s my teacher and any sort of relationship beyond that is inappropriate. I’m putting things back where they belong.”
“But he won’t be your teacher forever,” Jiyoung argued.
And you wanted to agree with her. You wanted to say something about how – maybe after the semester was over or after graduation – then you could go back and listen to whatever Junmyeon had to say; maybe actually put up a good fight and tell him that you thought you could be good for him, that you felt something for him that was so deep and drowning you didn’t know how to describe it. But right now you were treading water, limbs tiring out from struggling to stay afloat. You’d found a life preserver and now you were going to cling on to that to keep yourself from going under.
Maybe… Maybe in the future, once you’ve recovered and pulled yourself up again, you could give it another try. You could put your heart a little further out there once your skin has thicken and you were more ready for rejection. But now you were shattered, too broken. You needed time to pick up the pieces.
“It doesn’t matter,” you told her. “I’ll be gone after graduation.”
She gasped. “But-”
“Please just open the door.” You tried hard to convey your annoyance and eagerness to get inside.”
Giving in, Jiyoung unlocked the door and you scrambled out of there faster than a wolf on fire.
**
After you begged him to let go, Junmyeon couldn’t stand there and watch you fade away.
Why wouldn’t you just let him tell you? Why couldn’t he have just told you earlier so all of this could be avoided? Why was he such a coward?
Why? Why? WHY?
Junmyeon let out a long howl before taking off in the woods. He didn’t remember shifting. He didn’t know what direction he was going in or where he was headed, just that he need to run. He needed to do something and this was the answer his instincts had given him.
His paws pounded against the dirt floor, pushing him farther and farther away from the farmhouse. Several howls echoed in the distance behind him, calling for their alpha to come back home. Junmyeon pressed on, ignoring the cries.
Around him the trees began to thin after running for who knew how long. He never tired, never slowed down, just kept going.
Additional paws hurrying to catch up with him beat in rhythmic sync some distance behind him. Then, a body much bigger than Junmyeon’s slammed into him, causing him to lose his footing and roll over several times. The wolf inside had taken control and Junmyeon leaped, teeth bared, at whoever the beast deemed a threat. He latched on to a neck, not paying attention to the russet colored fur.
Junmyeon, stop!
Two more wolves wedged themselves in between Junmyeon and his opponent, shoving him away. Just as he turned to attack again, his senses pushed through, screaming at him that the wolves were his brother. Kris huffing and shaking off the nicks left from Junmyeon’s teeth. They would heal, but in the meantime they would sting.
Why the hell did you pounce on me like that? Junmyeon growled.
Kris flicked his head to Junmyeon’s right.
You were about to hit the city limits, Chanyeol whined. No one there is supposed to see us.
Junmyeon blinked. Why did I come this way?
You were headed for your mate, Kris answered, his thoughts conveying the venom he felt for being on the receiving end of Junmyeon’s anger.
Your urge to stop her was probably too great in this form, Yixing added. Your feet took you where your logic wouldn’t.
Junmyeon let out something that somewhat resembled a sigh. I’m sorry, guys. I just… He couldn’t finish that thought. Turning to Kris, he thought instead, You should be at home resting. You barely have energy as it is.
Kris had mastered “the look” in wolf form years ago. I’m fine. Making sure you don’t expose all of us by making a scene is more important.
It took will power for Junmyeon not to snap back. Instead, he huffed, looking at the boys who came after him. Never had he been so thankful for their loyalty that stopped him from doing something incredibly stupid.
Come on, Kris flicked his head in the direction of the farmhouse with that natural authority Junmyeon always envied. Let’s get out of here before we’re spotted.
Reluctantly, Junmyeon agreed and everyone started slowly moving away from the tree line. Before they could get too far away, he paused, turning to look behind him once more as if you would miraculously know that he was there and come running to him. He messed everything up after having it all land perfectly in his lap. You were everything to him and yet – with mistake after mistake – he let you down.
Hanging his head, he walked on, fearful for the pain that would be awaiting him soon.
**
Cam and Gemma nearly broke down when you came shuffling through the door. Apparently, they’d made it back to the apartment last night but didn’t realize you weren’t with them until they woke up this morning. They were just about to call the police when you walked in, dropping their phones to come suffocate you in their overbearing hugs. At least, that was what you could understand from as they were talking at the same time.
“Oh my god, I thought you were kidnapped!” Gemma sniffed your ear.
Pulling back, Cam was a bit more aggressive. “Why the hell did you leave?”
You shrugged. “Junie showed up. I – um, I accidentally drunk texted him and he came to get me. I guess he didn’t like the idea of me being at the SAE house. I crashed at his place.”
Gemma let you go to get a better look at you. “That Junie guy actually had the nerve to show up?”
“What gave him the right to decide whether or not you could be there?” Cam snapped.
“It wasn’t like that,” you mumbled. You didn’t want to have this conversation. Mostly because – despite everything else – you were a little thankful he’d come to get you. Who knows what could have happened. You didn’t get that wasted very often and the fact that you couldn’t remember chunks of last night – despite no harm coming to you – freaked you out. “I wanted to leave with him.”
Shaking her head, Gemma crossed her arms while giving you a look of pity. “Oh, (y/n)-”
“Don’t!” You snapped. You were not going to stand there and take another psycho-analyzed lecture. “I’m not going to see him again. I’m moving on with my life and that’s the end of it. So, don’t go all ‘shrink’ on me.”
Cam’s mouth dropped. “(y/n)-”
“Just leave me alone.” You pushed through your friends to your room. Throwing yourself on your bed, you clung to your pillow, wrapping around it like a child with their safety blanket.
You did exactly what you said you would do.
While you couldn’t continue to skip class altogether, you made sure to sit in the very back, closest to the door for a quick getaway. The few times a paper or a quiz needed to be handed in over the next week, you’d make acquaintances with whoever sat next to you and get them to hand it in for you with some excuse about having to leave as soon as possible. The ultimate goal was to make it seem as if you weren’t there at all. You even wore a baseball cap pulled down to cover up most of your face. That probably made you stand out more than blend in, but it kept you from staring at him, so that was a silver lining.
Moving on was easier said than done though.
Every time you turned a corner, you panicked when you saw his face. It was never actually him, just your mind playing tricks on you, superimposing his face onto whoever was headed in your direction. How could it betray you like this? You were trying to move on with your life and yet it seemed dead set on reminding you of him every chance it got.
Footsteps in the library would make you look up. At times you thought you heard his voice, making you whirl around in the middle of a busy hallway. Stupid songs on your playlist would make you think of him and you couldn’t even watch your favorite shows without wondering if Junmyeon was watching it was well.
One night, when you were particularly restless, you found yourself sneaking out of the apartment and heading for the little park. Just like that night with Junmyeon, there was no else around as you followed the concrete path to that secluded bench. You sat down, bringing your feet up and closing your eyes as you went back to that time.
You’d been so happy in that brief, fleeting moment. Still a little unsure and hesitant, but happy. Junmyeon had called you one of the most important people in his world. You’d believed it, taking in his honesty. But after that, you felt more like a convenience, something to shake up his world that maybe had become a little too boring.
The phantom feeling of his arms wrapped around you made you shrink into yourself more. If you were just a convenience, if you weren’t something more to him that a person who knew his secret, then why did he so desperately try to stop you? What was he going to tell you?
“Your my-”
You put your fists over your ears to try and block out the memory. His what? His friend? His confidant? What was so important that he had to tell you right then and there? What had you refused to listen to?
Regret was starting to way down you.
Did you do the right thing? Would you ever be able to move on? You wanted to. You wanted to so desperately, but everything reminded you of him, everything made you want to turn around and ask for him to tell you whatever it was he wanted to say, that you would listen to every word without judgement.
You felt like the lead in a rom com right after the dramatic turn in the plot. All you needed to do was wait a little while longer and he would miraculously show up, the feeling of needing to revisit this place again. After you’d jump to your feet, you’d then give some drawn out speech about you were an idiot and how you just wanted to protect your heart and how you had plans before he came along and that’s why you tried to push him away, but now you just might adjust them – not banish them completely – if that meant he would stay in your life.
Life wasn’t a movie, though. You didn’t get miraculous coincidences that –
Oh, screw it.
Pushing away your self-pity, you decided to take the chance. You ran out of the park and towards the campus. There were still cars in the parking lot, enough to indicate that evening classes were still in session. If you remembered the schedule correctly, Junmyeon didn’t have any, but there was still a chance that he could be in his office. The lights were still on in the hallway of the world studies building. You nearly slipped on the freshly mopped floor, but you figured that would just be the slight comic relief before you pressed on.
Coming up to Junmyeon’s office, your heart sped up. The light was on inside and the sound of movement was evident behind the door.
You could do this. It wasn’t that hard to turn the handle and walk inside.
The doorknob was cold when you grasped it. Slowly, you turned it before throwing the door open. “Junmyeon, I- Oh. Sorry.”
It wasn’t Junmyeon rummaging around in the office. It was a man from the cleaning crew. He hadn’t heard you enter at first, earbuds in and blaring loud enough for you to vaguely hear something resembling rap music.
Realizing that he was no longer alone, he turned around and plucked out the buds. “Yeah?”
“Sorry,” you mumbled, waving your apology before closing the door once more.
Well, at least you tried. If you couldn’t talk to him tonight, then you would just have to wait until class on Monday.
**
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
Over and over, Junmyeon let the back of his head knock against the wall behind him. He had one elbow resting on a bent knee while the other leg was laying down flat as he sat on the floor of his bedroom. He hadn’t really moved since waking up this morning. Getting out of bed hadn’t been too bad, but after that all motivation had evaporated and he couldn’t leave the room for breakfast.
Tomorrow he’d have to face you again. Not nearly as close as you once had been, but your very presence in that classroom was just enough to drive him mad, even with you sitting all the way in the back, trying hide under a hat and hunched shoulders. Each minute that went by drained even more of his control. How much longer would he last before he snapped completely, running up those stairs in the middle of a lecture before snatching you up and hauling you away to make you listen to him?
He couldn’t do that. No matter how much he wanted to. He was lucky, though. So far, he’d only had one attack and it was last Thursday in the middle of dinner. The few wolves that had been home had rushed to his side, making him feel a little appreciated and cared for, but it’d subsided quickly and he hadn’t had one since. Kris grumbled around him a few times about the whole ordeal. His own attacks hadn’t let up, making it great cause for concern. Junmyeon didn’t want anyone worrying about him when his fellow alpha was in more danger.
Junmyeon scoffed. Fellow alpha. That was giving himself too much credit. While he was the official leader of the pack and certainly displayed the qualities of an alpha, he wasn’t on the same level as Kris. Junmyeon had been raised to be a leader of wolves, but it was in Kris’ blood. Others immediately looked to him and fell in line. When Kris left all those years ago, Junmyeon was surprised that more didn’t leave with him, just on instinct.
“Okay, you seriously need to stop.”
Baekhyun, along with Yixing, barged into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him before standing over Junmyeon. Fists on his hips, it was a bit of a comical sight. Baekhyun just wasn’t the serious one and when he tried to be, it was hard to keep a straight face. Yixing simply carried a look of concern.
“Stop what?” Junmyeon asked as he strained to stay composed.
Rolling his eyes, Baekhyun replied, “Banging your head against the wall. We can all hear it and, honestly, it’s a little pathetic. You need to pick yourself up.”
A little offended, Junmyeon grabbed a dirty, rolled up sock and threw it at the younger wolf’s face. “Easy for you to say, your mate practically fell into your lap.”
“She is a little clumsy,” Baekhyun beamed. Letting the smile slip from his face, he sighed and sat down next to Junmyeon. “This is sad, though. I never expected you to mess up this much. Whatever happened to the smooth operator? Did you leave him behind in your college days?”
Yixing, still quiet as ever, sat down on the other side. He sported a thoughtful look, making Junmyeon wonder what was going through his head, but that was nothing new. Yixing was always hard to read.
“I didn’t care back then,” Junmyeon answered honestly as he turned back to the other wolf. “If they said no, I could always move on to the next one. I wasn’t exposing myself life this.”
Baekhyun snorted. “Yeah. You really did expose yourself to her that night in the woods, didn’t you?”
As much as he wanted to throw a punch, Junmyeon only had the energy to throw a look of annoyance in Baekhyun’s direction.
“It’ll be okay,” Baekhyun said, all joking out of his voice. There was no hint of his normal goofy grin on his face.
Junmyeon was taken back, but certainly grateful. “Thank you. I don’t know if it will be. I think I hurt her pretty badly. All because I couldn’t open my damn mouth and say what needed to be said. I should have just been honest with her along.”
“You should have,” Yixing agreed, “but your fear kept you from doing it.”
“My fear?” Junmyeon echoed. “My fear of what? Her rejecting me?”
Yixing shook his head. “No. Not that. You didn’t want to give her the option of choosing between you and her dream of archaeology. Because you’re scared of what she’ll choose. Our mates may accept us, but they don’t have to stay by our side. They don’t yearn in the same way we do. They can leave while we stay behind.”
Yixing was right, of course. He didn’t want to ask you to choose just for you go off on a dig. And then he’d be alone again, surrounded by his mated brothers living so happily while he pined for you. But it wasn’t right to make you choose him either. So, however unknowingly, he stayed quiet and kept that choice away from you. Then he wouldn’t have to face the worst possible outcome.
Well, second worst.
“I don’t want to hold her back,” Junmyeon whispered.
“It’s up to her.” Yixing smiled, “But her choice might surprise you.”
If anyone knew, it would definitely be Yixing. Junmyeon almost forgot about his previous predicament.
Baekhyun exhaled a loud huff. “Thank god Hae In just wants to be a kindergarten teacher.”
Junmyeon snorted. There was a lot for Baekhyun to be grateful for.
It wasn’t going to be easy, but Junmyeon was going to try one more time to speak with you. But first, he had another matter he needed to look into as well.
**
No. No, no, no, no. This couldn’t be happening to you!
This morning you had a plan. You were going to corner Junmyeon when class was over, after sitting right there in the front know so he knew that you wanted to talk to him. It was all supposed to be fixed one way or the other. You needed to fix it.  
But you did what you normally tasked yourself with doing in the morning before you headed off to class: you checked your email. Right there at the very top was a new message labeled from “Professor Kim”. Your heart was skipping in your chest from excitement… until you opened the email.
It was a mass message to your whole class explaining that class would be canceled today and to turn in the papers electronically instead for this one time.
Letting out a high pitched whine, you let your head fall down to your keyboard. You didn’t want to wait until Wednesday to try again. What if he also canceled that class? How the hell were you supposed to see him now?
Your brain offered you the solution of driving back up to the farmhouse. You still had the directions, but you didn’t want to drive all the out there just to discover that he wasn’t there.
Was this all your fault? Did he cancel class because of you?
You scoffed at yourself. You didn’t think you had that strong of a hold on him.
Sighing, you closed your laptop and drummed your fingers on your table. You had nearly four hours before your next class would start. There was only one thing you could think to do to calm down. You needed to go to your happy place.
Getting dressed with the minimal amount of effort, you packed up for your things for class and headed out. The bus stop was right at the corner and yet you still barely made it in time to catch your ride before it took off.
The bus was crowded with commuters since it was still early in the morning, most of them talking on the phone or with each other. You found a seat near the back, cutting out the loud buzzing chatter, and counted down the stops until you were just a block away from the museum. Thanking the driver out of politeness, you walked the rest of the way, making it just in time for the unlocking of the doors.
“You’re here especially early,” Mrs. Kang, one of the curators, teased as she let you in.
You shrugged. “I had some time to kill.”
“So many visitors this morning,” Mrs. Kang murmured to herself. “Must be something in the air.”
You frowned at her observation, but shrugged it off.
For a while, you simply wandered around the first floor, staring at the dinosaur bones and reading the little plaques you’d memorized a long time ago. Soon you found yourself in front of the newsboard. One little flyer caught your eye. It was a job for the museum. It wouldn’t open up until next spring but it intrigued you and there was promise of a possible trip to an excavation site.
“(y/n)?”
You gasped, turning towards the voice. You nearly cried right then and there.
Junmyeon was standing just a few feet away. Like a miracle.
Out of instinct, you glanced around frantically before asking, “W-what are you doing here?”
He smiled at you. How could he be smiling at you right now? “I needed to spend some time with the artifacts. I had to research something.”
“And did you find what you were looking for you?” you asked.
Junmyeon shook his head. “No, unfortunately not.” He tilted his head, staring at you. “What are you doing here?”
“You canceled class,” you mumbled. “I didn’t know what else to do, so I came here.” Playing with your fingers, you fidgeted back and forth on the balls of your feet. “Can I talk to you?”
He chuckled. “You can always talk to me, (y/n).”
The cheesy line made you smile. “I appreciate that. But I mean… about something important.”
“Of course.” After glancing at the front, Junmyeon motioned towards the back door with his head. “Let's go back to the room.”
You nodded and followed him, your system going crazy with anticipation. This morning when you woke up, all you wanted was to talk to him. Now that opportunity was in front of you, you were scared as hell.
Oh, well. Here goes nothing.
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