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shepscapades · 3 months

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Hey! i’m really into the dbch story and i was wondering if doc and xisuma ever tell bdubs the specifics of why etho lost his memories, cause if they do that is prime self blaming angst for bdubs

I’m inclined to believe they don’t. Actually (and maybe I should do a small comic for this so more people see it) I imagine, once a month or a few pass and they finally return etho to bdubs as reset, I imagine they are VERY serious about warning bdubs not to try to force Etho to re-deviate— they don’t go into specifics, but they probably tell bdubs that whatever happened had to do with something that was emotionally overwhelming, and that forcing him to redeviate/not letting it happen naturally could trigger the same error. They have no idea what could happen so bdubs needs to be very careful and let Etho find himself again on his own.

Whether or not bdubs gets impatient or can only go so long before he doubts it would be that bad if he tried pushing Etho in the right direction is another story.

But yeah. I don’t think Xisuma or Doc really… tell anyone that this happened. Etho’s error seemed like a very specific one-off scenario, so it’s not something the other hermits should be trying to avoid or be careful about happening to their own android friends, and the only thing telling people would do is make them worried about the situation. All they need to know is that etho was broken and that they need to be careful with him. I don’t agree with their decision to keep what happened to themselves but I understand it I think. Xisuma “i don’t want to worry the hermits” Void and Docm “eh this isn’t the first time I’ve replaced this arm, people won’t question it” 77

#that’s a lie actually I think xisuma ends up telling Cleo :>#but only because Cleo is very smart and I think they should be close in this au :]#but no she would clock Tired Overworked Existential Crisis Xisuma in an instant #Cleo calls them both idiots and gives them big hugs and tells them they need therapy. also that they’re welcome by her place anytime to talk #it’s very sweet and healing to me #this is where “all things end’’ on Xisuma’s playlist comes in actually #oh my god I got so off topic #BDUBS IS GOING TO FEEL GUILTY NO MATTER WHAT THOUGH #like okay. technically #the reason etho shut down is because he was freaking out that everything was his fault #(last life—not giving bdubs a heart— trying to win for bdubs and then losing— coming back to s8 feeling like he can’t face bdubs—>#ending up leaving him alone when the moon hit #and bdubs was hurt by these things. no doubt #but bdubs just wants his friend back and maybe he’s a little reckless about it #bdubs hides his emotions behind cartoonish frustration and complaining but he feels bad #he feels like he should be doing more to ‘save’ etho and bring him back even though he was to #told* he shouldn’t #dbhc ask #dbhc #dbhc bdubs #dbhc etho #dbhc doc #dbhc xisuma #ask #anon

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mandalhoerian · 1 year

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leon kennedy + love languages analysis

It’s in Leon’s job description to help and serve, he’s always out there chasing bioweapons and their makers to save others or doing the bidding of his higher-ups — it’s all in the name of the right thing and out of his strong sense of justice. It doesn’t matter if he’s in an overbearing mission breathing down his neck in utmost priority, he will stop and try his best to help out a random citizen as you can see in RE6. He does also state in RE2 remake that helping people in need was why he chose his occupation, be it in his emo era too, Leon just can’t look away from innocent bystanders. Accepting to look for Claire’s brother when he just met her that night, and also the inability to leave Ada alone in the maze of the sewer he has no idea how to solve the puzzle to, and agreeing to whatever Helena wanted to show him when he was so suspicious of her because she was distraught and clearly in need of something are just some examples of this.

He helps however he can, whenever he can; he also expresses great concern for the wellbeing of others before his own as it’s his main drive in life. Leon’s a man of duty and selfless in nature, the only time he’s done anything for himself was when he wanted to chase the trail of bioweapons in Eastern Slav Republic instead of pulling back like he was ordered to, and even that was work.

Therefore we can say acts of service is his primary love language, so much so you would want him to take a break from it.

Leon really doesn’t look after himself.

His go-to self-destruction method is to indulge in alcohol to deal with his problems and drink away his feelings instead of seeking help. Maybe he doesn’t believe in getting help in his field of work (nobody has gone through what he has, and seen what he’s seen, and maybe he doesn’t want to bother people with any of it), but he does shut himself off and ignores his problems — doesn’t ask for help, at all.

In Damnation, he pushes Hunnigan away when she tries to explain the situation to him and nonchalantly dissolves the conversation when she’s afraid he’s going to take off. In Vendetta, he’d rather fight Chris and put on a sarcastic demeanor than to express vulnerability when he clearly needs someone to be his confidant. He doesn’t want to share his burden, but will relentlessly pressure you to share yours.

With his significant other, he would want to take on the weight of whatever’s on you regardless — from mundane things around the house like cleaning, fixing things, preparing breakfast so you can sleep a little bit more and being a great giver in bed to grander gestures like taking a bullet for you and becoming mean to you in order to keep you away from harm’s way (like he did with Claire at the end of Infinite Darkness, he lost his friendship with her but it kept her safe). Leon will go above and beyond to make life better and easier for you, but he is obsessed with your safety first and foremost.

However, you will have problems with getting him to open up like I mentioned previously, he deals with his problems on his own and he won’t want to trouble you with whatever he’s going through at the moment — with the plus of his job being mostly confidential, it’s a struggle to help him when the most of his suffering comes from the loss and trauma that comes with it.

It makes him emotional that you help in other areas though, when you clean up his place at times he is away for a long time, when you make a homemade meal cooked just for him, or when you offer to give him shoulder massages seeing as he’s extremely tired. He isn’t used to being taken care of, and part of him feels guilty, but he’s so appreciative and happy someone cares for him this much.

Leon moves around quite often and is rarely at his place of residence, so he doesn’t spend a lot of time at home. Therefore, even when his place screams how fat his salary is from the outside, his house is not a home, it doesn’t have a lot in it and is basically empty like a ghost is living in it. And again, with being an agent comes the practicality of not having a lot on you so you can be more flexible, but it’s almost as if it reflects how little he thinks of his life and has nothing to leave behind if he dies on duty.

He even has two default outfits, first is anything he can throw on himself (preferably jeans) with a leather jacket and the second is the agent outfit, which is just a suit (button-up shirts grew on him over the years.) He isn’t someone who treats himself aside from alcohol and he doesn’t care much for luxuries — the only materialistic things that could excite him were a bike and a bazooka, and both were found by him randomly and were tools to help him in action.

What he chooses to own, though, are high in quality. His RE4 outfit has Schott’s Classic B-3 Sheepskin Leather Bomber Jacket is $1495 USD. He also drove to Racoon City in a Jeep that he had to abandon. Being rich makes you this carefree, huh?

He has a lot more than he can spend, therefore I believe he would happily spend it on his significant other. Leon would be the type of guy who buys something out of nowhere because it reminded him of you, or that he saw you looking at it, maybe it was a chocolate bar, or maybe some random scented candle you thought looked sick. He loves seeing you surprised and delighted, and thinking of your space having the traces of him makes him happy — makes him feel the bond is more concrete and tangible. He’s a giver, so it’s only natural he gives presents too.

Now, receiving gifts from you is another level of joy for him. Leon wouldn’t have thought he cared much about things like that but the thought. The idea of you thinking this much of him and putting your heart into it, there’s something intimate in it that has him feeling so important. Owning things you gave him has a special place in his heart, and he will take great care of them. Maybe he still has the wrapper of some ribbon from a package in his drawer, who’s to say? It’s the carnal desire to hold onto the proof of your existence, perhaps.

Leon has absolutely no time at all for himself, and in his days off, they keep pulling him back for some unexpected emergency. His schedule is unpredictable. In RE4, he does say “Story of my life,” when Hunnigan reminds him that he’s on duty right now after he flirts with her. Then later, he reminds her that it was them who pulled him out of furlough for this when she tells him to fall back on his Eastern Slav Republic mission. Leon rarely gets any break from bioweapon fighting and over the years, the exhaustion has taken a toll on him, the only constant is chaos in his life, he scarcely can spare any mundane moments to his acquaintances as he barely has any time for himself.

Quality time though, as he lacks so much of it, is something he yearns for deep down. I mean, hello, the way he wanted that dinner with Claire in Infinite Darkness? He really really wanted her company, and to catch up with her. He asked Shenmei as well. It's a crime that nobody accepted his requests, someone go get dinner with him right now.

It’s because he can’t spend time with people that he wants it so badly in the first place. That’s where he is also self-destructive and it’s a double-edged sword. He seeks company of flirtations because he’s lonely, yet he won’t pursue anything serious. He’s scared of committing to someone since it won’t work due to complications and the distance, it’ll get messy.

He even deprives himself of friendships and is unwilling to let anyone get too close. Leon is an isolationist, yet he needs people in his life to process his trauma and grief and bully him about his drinking habits but keeps denying himself the company.

And then there’s the fear of losing that person. He doesn’t spend any time getting close to people, he treasures the companions he has, but everybody is at an arm’s length. He already reacts so negatively to the deaths of allies he barely got to know briefly — Ada messed him up real good, too. How do you think he feels imagining what he could have had with her? He wants stability and settling, but Ada is anything but that. He chases every interaction to be longer, seeks her company just for their meeting to be stretched even by minutes. Leon gets attached so easily, and he deprives himself of time with them out of being scared by it. One part of him must be comfortable in his love for her because it’ll never become a reality, because she’ll never take him up to it, he’d rather take the suffering than the happiness.

But quality time also is so important to him because it’s in these times of ordinary domesticity that he can find normalness outside the crazy undead shit he has to deal with. It helps him recharge and he craves having this to come back to.

He would feel so guilty about not being able to be with his significant other, he could even forget important days and miss important moments of your life and he wouldn’t even know most of the time because he’s just so occupied and in survival mode for a while after he comes back. You would have to be understanding of his situation and forgiving, too, it’s not up to him whatever he gets called in for, and because you wouldn’t know what it was, it’s a great deal of practicing patience, and that’s why it’s hard being in a relationship with Leon. Hell, it’s the base reason why couples break up; the guy is inattentive and negligent and the girl breaks it off in the end. In this scenario, zombies are involved.

You can only get the peaceful moments inbetween with him. And it has to be enough, and believe that he hates going away as much as you do and more.

Leon hates being praised. He dislikes being heralded as some legend for getting out of Racoon City alive and his experiences ultimately leading him to rescuing the president’s daughter only to be elevated in praise more.

He was just at the wrong place at the right time. He got lucky, ended up trailing behind Ada who was competent at what she did and reached the root of the problem just because he happened to run into her — it wasn’t him, it was just stars aligning. Pure coincidence.

Leon sometimes thinks he didn’t deserve making it out, but he did anyway, and now this life of his belongs to a purpose, the purpose.

He’s just doing his job. One shouldn’t be applauded for doing their job.

Compliments make him uncomfortable and it’s the easiest way to make him clamp up on a conversation, he’ll vehemently deny whatever it is and change the subject. It looks like Leon’s being humble (he is), but there’s a deeper reason with an underlying imposter syndrome going on in the back of his mind. He just doesn’t feel worthy some days.

Affirmations on the other hand also don’t come easy, he’s in one of the most coldly professional fields and it’s strictly business, and he is emotionally constipated and deeply traumatized, therefore there’s a lot he doesn’t say and he doesn’t know how to say, and he is bad at telling you what he wants. He’s good at sass and banter, but ask him to tell you about his nightmares and he’ll just hug you and go back to sleep.

Leon isn’t used to expressing affection through words either, and prefers to show it instead. You’ll know he loves you even if he doesn’t say it outright. But with his significant other, though, he’ll do his best to learn to be more affectionate with words to you to show his appreciation — just prepare for shy and awkward Leon. The soft side of him comes out this way, he’ll hesitantly ask you to stay and he’ll look so young doing it that it’ll melt your heart.

Leon is one touch-starved poor bastard.

Here’s the reason why: he’s a pretty lonely guy but he’d rather indulge in the warmth of a person than letting them in. Solitude is a personal preference of his, and it leads him to seeking out temporary companionship to feed this part of his. Meaningless one-night stands are a go-to of his, as they mean no deeper connection but all the skin to skin contact and the soothing heat beside him. If he’s lucky, his partner would pet his head during the deed, or caress his face, now those are the treat.

If he could just let go and the perfect opportunity arose, he would just lie in the arms of his significant other for hours being hugged by them, enveloped in the coziness, head empty and fuzzy. Those would be the perfect naps he needed, because wow does this guy not sleep well.

It would be a first for him to get affectionate touches coming with a friendship as well, it’s been a lifetime since he let himself be that way with someone, it’s not easy to get him to be chummy and lighthearted with you in that aspect. He’s a well-mannered guy too, so he’s the type to keep a respectable distance even when he’s being playful. Half-hugs, back pats and handshakes are the best you’re going to get as his friend, and they don’t happen often.

The clinginess blooms well into the relationship after Leon gets comfortable with exploring that childish, neglected part of his. He would adore hugs, hand-holding, reaching out to grab you casually while sitting next to you in the confines of your private space, you would feel his love through him seeking you out for comfort voluntarily and lowering his serious exterior to be relaxed around you. His utmost weakness is you playing with his hair and tracing his face with your fingers, because he goes out like a light almost immediately.

Leon also won't be rough with you physically while bonking so don't expect playfighting and do not hit him while joking around, he gets thrown around and hurt so much as it is (the amount of being strangled by tyrants and plagas? no, he's not into choking), and he tends to be extremely tender and sweet. Though you might discover a pretty interesting side of him if you decide to be assertive and take care of him in bed, you might just get addicted to how shy he could get.

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#leon kennedy #leon s. kennedy #leon kennedy headcanons #leon s. kennedy headcanons #leon kennedy x reader #leon s. kennedy x reader #leon x ada #resident evil headcanons #leon kennedy x you #im adding the reader tag even though this is very leon-centric because i can #who's gonna stop me #leon needs a hug #and all the affection he can get #this is just a very long post about his loneliness and isolation #Honestly Leon's that pretty intimidating guy who turns out to be so sweet and respectful and i want him #god i love this guy i just want to wrap him in a blanket and give him a break #shai talks #character: leon kennedy

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rainy-day-revelry · 24 days

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Absolutely adoring how the chain seems to have assigned big brother little brother pairings for all of the minors:

Legend who is making sure Hyrule doesn’t overuse his magic and exhaust himself

Warriors who is constantly scruffing Wind to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid

And Twilight who is trying to stop Wild from yeeting himself off the nearest cliff and failing miserably

Peak sibling behavior

#Oh minus Four #Though he (they?) is basically his own brother #The colors are all constantly holding each other back from doing stupid shit which is why Four appears sensible #And then Sky and Time are the Mom and Dad friends respectively #Sky is the affectionate baked goods kind of mom and you can’t convince me otherwise #Sky: Do you need a hug?#Every other member of The Chain: I- yeS-#i love these idiots #linked universe #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu warriors #lu wind #lu twilight #lu wild #siblings

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onefey · 2 years

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in a lot of shows the found family splitting up is an unsatisfying ending to their characters, but the writers make them go their seperate ways regardless.

in dhmis the found family would really like to go their seperate ways, but the "creator" keeps forcing them to stay together in the end.

#don't hug me i'm scared #dhmis #something something unique spin on found family. idk #transport is really telling to me because red guy doesn't say they'll never see eachother again. he says they'll be *neighbors*#he doesn't want to abandon them he wants Space #they are a family. not the kind that needs to live together though #idk. listen to me ramble.#fey rambles

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theaviatorthatcouldnotfly · 5 days

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about simon’s social media plotline

instead of deleting it, why didn’t simon just temporarily deactivate his instagram/make a private account?

all season, simon has been trying to find workarounds to his worsening situation when it comes to outside pressures and an increasingly stifling environment. he tries to find ways to still be himself and have some sense of freedom, even with all the criticism and negativity being hurled his way.

he’s hit with a barrage of hate comments everywhere? fine. he’ll reply to some of them, just to make sure that everyone gets a sense of who he really is. but he soon finds that when he does so, he’s only met with even more hatred and people coming for his throat. and wille himself tells him replying will only make things worse, so he should try to refrain from doing so.

okay, then. he might not be able to directly comment and tell the world who he is and how all of this is making him feel, but he can show them. so he uploads the video of him singing, the thing he loves most in the world, and he expresses himself through that original song. but that doesn’t work either, and wille tells that simon shouldn’t be posting those things on social media because they can easily be misinterpreted and cause harmful speculations and media attention. and to make things worse, there’s a whole new barrage of hate comments, this time leaning into more sinister territory.

but simon is not going to give up so easily— even if tons of people online are telling him that he’s a golddigger and pathetic and chasing fame, he knows that those aren’t his intentions. he’s with wille because he loves him, and he’s not looking for fame or wealth out of it. and all simon wants out of life is to make some positive change in the world. so of course he can’t help himself when he adds himself to the post of the picture he took with the younger boy who looks up to him. he’s hopeful and a little giddy about it all, because he is making a change. he is helping and inspiring others. he wants to share that with others.

and then simon goes home to find that an anonymous stranger has thrown a rock through his window, into his house.

simon loves his family dearly. he would do anything for them. and someone he likely doesn’t even know hated him enough to threaten his family’s safety, his mother’s safety, by finding his house and breaking the window with the rock. being harassed on social media and in person by reporters fucking sucks, but in simon’s mind, at least that’s only affecting him. but this? this is too far. this is his family, and they’re unintentional targets now, too. they aren’t even safe in their own home anymore, where they’ve lived in the last fourteen years.

so when jan olof and farima come by and tell simon to delete his social media accounts for his own safety— not temporarily deactivate, not make private, specifically delete— simon does it. because private accounts and deactivations are workarounds, and to simon, workarounds have only made things worse. it’s not just him on the line anymore, it’s his family and safety and his relationship with wille altogether, so he does exactly what the royal court says and deletes his accounts. workarounds just aren’t worth it.

okay, but why is deleting his instagram account such a big deal? he can always make a new one, so why does it matter?

one of the first times that we get a deeper look into who simon is, not coincidentally, through the contents of his instagram account! when wille is lurking on simon’s profile, we get a solid introduction into the key aspects and people in simon’s life. he he has two best friends who he adores, he loves his sister and his mother, and even his bio says “music makes my world go round”.

but looking past that aspect for now, we also get to see who simon is outside of social media and these close relationships: he’s very outspoken, doesn’t let others silence him (even in his very first scene, he sings louder when vincent makes fun of him), is unafraid to call others out on their bullshit and has strong values that he’s quick to share.

but throughout season three, as simon is faced with more and more pressure and cruelty on behalf of the public and royal court, he starts losing himself. he finds that singing isn’t as enjoyable anymore, he becomes quieter and quieter. he initially fights back when he feels that the royal court is being unreasonable, like when he was first told by wille about being careful on social media, but eventually just reaches a point where he stops and just takes it. he ends up going against his own values just for the sake of not fighting with wille during the sit-in, despite clearly being bothered by it. and of course, this isn’t helped by the fact that he’s not on speaking terms with sara again until much later and his relationship with his mom is strained until mid-season, so a integral part of his support system isn’t able to help him until he was a little too deep into all this.

so looking back at the social media aspect, simon deleting his instagram accounts is the nail in the coffin. he publicly displays his unabashed love for his family, friends, and music through his posts, all of which are essential to his sense of self and who he is as a person, and we see him literally delete it all. this drives home the point that simon is deleting himself, and marks one of his lowest points in terms of losing and changing himself to try and fit into a space that will never be made for someone like him. square peg in a circular hole.

so yes, realistically, simon deleting instagram is a sad thing to see, although not necessarily earth-shattering. but metaphorically? it’s everything.

why were there only hate comments? sweden is very progressive in terms of queer rights and social acceptance, so it couldn’t have been that bad.

of course, i can’t speak for lisa and the rest of the team, but i feel that this was an intentional detail. because the truth is, there probably weren’t only hate comments! we even see the initial response after simon posts the clip of him singing, and it’s positive.

but as an overall society, we tend to take criticism harder than we do compliments. you likely don’t remember that one time last week where a stranger complimented your hair or outfit or handwriting, whatever it may be, but you probably do remember the last time someone told you that your efforts weren’t enough. you probably remember the last time you got a bad review or a bad grade on something you tried hard on, or when someone made fun of your interests. and speaking as a teenager, i can confirm that this is a huge thing to us as well— we want to be accepted and complimented, we want to be wanted, and when we aren’t, it feels like it’s the end of the world.

so of course simon would take all those disgusting comments to heart. anyone would, especially when they haven’t had any time to prepare for it. so as more and more hate comments roll in, it’s harder to pay attention to the positivity that may also be there. from simon’s point of view, the hate is everywhere and too much to ignore, so that’s what we get to see. we see criticism and threats and people being mean, because those are the responses and the view that affect simon the most.

tldr; simon deleted his instagram because he felt that using another workaround in deactivation/private acc would be a risk, it’s a big deal because by literally deleting his social media the writers show that simon is deleting himself, and there’s mostly hate comments because through simon’s pov those are the ones that are the most impactful.

#it’s okay to not like the storyline ofc but it’s getting annoying to see people use it against simon over and over again #saying that he’s dramatic because “he didn’t have to delete his acc” “it’s just social media get over it”#or that he’s completely in the wrong for not listening to wille/royal court in the first place im 😭😭😭#simon is trying his best in a crappy situation that no one should have to handle in the first place and you’re here coming for his throat??#anyways i need to give him a hug. he and wille both need the biggest hugs in the universe #i rly enjoyed this storyline though! social media involvement is chekov’s gun and i’m glad the writers used it to their advantage #young royals #simon eriksson #simon young royals #young royals analysis #lisa ambjörn #avi rambles #wilmon #long post #long text post

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10underoot2 · 5 days

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There's something about a man losing his mind in grief being comforted by the women he loves.

#The way he couldn't breathe #the way he fell to the ground #the way he needed to keep holding her to know it was real #the way he was unconsolable #Only reason he was consoled was because it was Hae in hugging him #That hug though #I really thought something would happen to him in his grief #This scene will live rent free in my mind #queen of tears #baek hyun woo #hong hae in #kdrama #kim ji won #kim soo hyun #Kim Soohyun is hell bent on making us all cry

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 1 month

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I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much #No wonder he cracked #and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man #WAY more than for Ceroba #sorry fox lady #uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him #what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are #sobbing for star #poor poor man #meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse #she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have #everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover #I'm sorry Starlo #like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life #y'all are reckless too btw #you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish #Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy #wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this #he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself #and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY

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chuthulhu-reads · 11 months

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[ID: A page from Trigun Maximum. In the top panel, Vash has his arms outstretched to hold his gun. His right arm, sleeve and all, is distorting and cracking as part of it twists and extends up into a branch that has curled around and caught a bullet in mid-air. Little feathers, like the beginnings of wings, are extending from some of the cracks. Vash is wide-eyed, frantic-looking. The bottom panel shows a closer up image of Vash's face and upper arm, showing that the branch has caught the bullet just inches from his right eye. The bullet is still turning and giving off smoke as it expends its momentum, the thin branch evidently extremely strong to hold it. End ID.]

Not that I don't love a good wingfic/wingart but I think we've got some REAL wasted potential in leaving out how much Vash's extensions are both feathered and resembling leaves, bark and branches. And evidently capable of not just warping his body but the fabric of anything he's wearing. The first time I read this I thought this might have been as much of a surprise to him as it is to the reader--that he's so off his game today that he has a closer call than he has before and reacts with an instinct he didn't know he had. My current read, based on a panel below, is that he did know he could do this, but usually does his damndest not to. He is off his game, not fully in control of his reactions, so he slips and does something he normally avoids at all costs, possibly because he knows what the reaction will be...

[ID: three panels from Trigun Maximum. In the first, Meryl is collapsing, clutching her head in both hands, her mouth open and eyes wide in terror. Milly is throwing her arms around Meryl with a frantic expression, yelling "Ma'am! What's wrong, Meryl?! Hang on!" The second panel is a flashback to Vash's partial angel transformation, focused on the inhuman scream on his face and his right arm transforming into the Angel Arm weapon. The whole panel is overlaid with a staticky filter that makes this dark and chaotic. The third panel is a close-up of Meryl's terrified expression, in a photo-negative style so that her skin is dark and her hair is light. End ID.]

PTSD is a BITCH. Meryl seems to be holding it together after Ryutsu Citadel--she often comes off as the kind of woman who prides herself on being level-headed and keeping her shit together in chaotic situations--but this unanticipated transformation triggers a whole-ass flashback and that throws her into a level of terror we've never seen her experience before, not even when she was actually kidnapped, because that's how PTSD be. All that terror that she would have felt at the time had she not been full of adrenaline and anger and panic, unloading out of nowhere when there's nothing else to interrupt it. I'm glad Milly is there, she seems like she gives good hugs, but GOD this hurts to see--especially since it generates more grief and guilt for Meryl because of how her reaction drives Vash away. She's vibing with Wolfwood on the "this guy is terrifying but he's also the best person I've ever met and I can't help being in love with him" but she's had WAY less time to process knowing what Vash is...

[ID: Four panels from Trigun Maximum. In the first, Vash looks angry and frustrated, his teeth gritted as he looks down, panting, "Sh-shit!" The second panel shows some random generic townspeople looking on with wide-eyed, startled expressions. The third panel has reduced those same townspeople into pitch-black silhouettes, with only their eyes and mouths visible as blank white lines as they say, "Did you see that?", "He's a monster", and "He really does have the power of the devil." The fourth panel shows Meryl, her arms cradling her head and mostly covering her expression, but one eye is visible, wide and crying. She's visibly trembling. End ID.]

With so much Christianity about it's not surprising that some people jump to "he's a witch!" but still, OUCH. Vash's frustrated expression here is what makes me think that maybe he did know he could do this--he has, after all, seen Knives create his blades from his arm--but he really, really, REALLY does not want to and usually avoids it at all costs. He's just that far off-kilter to begin with and accidentally doing this does not help. I have to wonder if he's ever done this before and gotten the "burn the witch!" reaction before... that REALLY wouldn't help his fear/lack of knowledge about his own body as an independent plant if he never actually explored what he can do because he wants so badly to be perceived as human/pass socially among humans. And if showing his non-humanity so deeply terrifies not just strangers but even someone he was getting quite close to like Meryl, why wouldn't he hate and fear himself?

#Trigun #Start your projectors folks #I'm having feelings about being visibly disabled in public myself #Meryl's PTSD is no joke but you just KNOW that Vash can't really untangle her fear from the Ryutsu Citadel shit #from the crowd reaction to him being Visibly Not Human #He feels inherently unfit to be around humans when he doesn't Look Normal Enough #Though in his case it's not just how he looks #These powers that he doesn't understand DID destroy a city and DID kill people #He knows people have a good reason to fear and hate him #God dammit both of these people deserve and need full-body Milly hugs but there's only one of her

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