DAY 9: Voice Loss
@febuwhump
Finn had had a seizure overnight, that much was obvious by the stabbing pains in his limbs. It wasn't the end of the world, so he took his time, changed his pyjamas -it was his day off, he wasn’t going to get dressed - and then headed downstairs.
In the kitchen, Fao was making tea when Finn appeared, his hair a mess and looking tired. He glanced at the clock - just after nine - and then frowned at his brother. “Didn’t expect you up so early.”
Finn gave his brother a look, and then frowned. His smartarse comment had somehow got lost between his mind and mouth, but he tried again. Still, nothing.
He grumbled in frustration, pulling his hoodie closer as he flopped on the sofa. He couldn't be dealing with this.
“You alright?” He asked, following his brother into the living room. “Want a tea?”
From his nest, he shook his head.
“Something to eat?”
"No." He eventually managed, frustrated.
Fao sat on the sofa next to him, frowning. “What’s wrong?”
More questions he couldn’t answer. He huffed, though curled against Fao. "No."
“Your words fucked off?” He asked, stroking through his brother’s hair.
He nodded, visibly relaxing. He should have known better than to be worried about Fao, worried that he wouldn't get it; he always understood.
“You can sign, if you want.” Fao said. “But you’ll have to emerge a little from your nest.”
"No." He was comfy and warm,and Fao knew what he wanted without him needing to do anything.
“Is no the only word you can find right now?”
"No." He fought for a moment, managing a smirk. "Fuck."
“Oh, you’ve got that one too? Of course you have, you little shit.”
He laughed. Of course he did, he took after his older brother, after all.
“You’re the worst.” Fao shot back. “Sure I can’t get you anything?”
Finn wiggled enough to get his hand out. Lucozade. Seized.
“Overnight?” Fao asked gently.
He shrugged; he couldn't be sure for definite, but it sure felt like he had.
“Mm, okay. I think we have lucozade in the fridge. Let me up to get some?”
Finn slowly shuffled off his brother, the promise of sugar slightly better than just Fao. He left room for him on the sofa, but pulled his hoard of blankets and pillows around him.
Whilst Fao disappeared to find the lucozade, Arrow appeared, standing on his back legs to sniff Finn’s leg on the sofa. After a moment, he scrambled up to join him, struggling to get any purchase.
The pup was a welcome surprise, though he startled Finn slightly. He ruffled the dog's fur, scratching his chin before he settled. He'd taken half of the sofa up, but Finn didn't care. He gave the pup a kiss on his nose, screwing his face up and laughing as he returned the favour.
Arrow wriggled his way onto Finn’s chest, enjoying the fuss from him as he settled. He was growing like a weed, seemingly bigger every day now.
Fao arrived back with the lucozade for Finn and a cup of tea for himself, settling next to his brother again. “Oh, you’ve got a friend there.”
Finn grinned, stretching out. "Mine."
“Oh, you got another word.” Fao murmured. “Maybe he’s magic. He’s not yours, though. My baby.”
He pulled a face. "Mine."
“Yeah?”
He nodded, wrapping his arms around Arrow to prove his point. For good measure, he signed it too, looking proud of himself.
“Alright. Let’s just have a sofa day.”
Work? He signed - remembering Fao's shifts was just far too much brain power.
“Not today.”
Ollie?
Fao hummed. “I don’t think so. I didn’t hear him leave, he slept in his own bed last night.”
Finn pulled a face. Of course he slept in his own bed.
“What? Don’t look at me like that.”
Loud together.
“Oh, shut up. You’re such a prude.”
Fuck you.
“No, it doesn’t work quite like that. Other way around.”
You fuck me? Gross.
“Finn!”
Gross!
“You’re gross.” Fao replied, as Ollie appeared.
“Morning. Who’s gross?”
Finn huffed, his grin disappearing. "No."
“I’m gross, apparently. Finn says we’re too loud.”
“Sorry Finn, can’t help it. He’s good at what he does.”
Finn made a noise, hiding his face in Arrow's fur. He didn't need to know that.
Fao laughed. “Such a prude. You’re an adult too, Finn. Can’t hide from reality forever.”
“Are we having a sofa day?” Ollie asked.
Finn struggled, the words somehow getting lost on his tongue. He just wanted to be able to have a fucking normal conversation, not be limited to three words and a possible grunt. "Fuck."
Ollie frowned. “Everything alright?”
“Finn’s having trouble with his words.” Fao explained.
“Oh, that’s shit.” Ollie replied. “Do you need anything, Finn?”
He could manage that one. "No."
“Sounds like a good excuse for a sofa day to me. Arrow agrees.”
Finn shot Fao a look. He didn't want to have to share with Ollie. He just wanted Fao to himself.
Ollie hesitated, sensing Finn’s unease from the way he looked at Fao. “Well, I’m going to get a shower, then. We need to go shopping too, so if either of you think of anything, let me know and I’ll go later.”
Guilt flared through him. He wouldn't say he hadn't meant it; he had. But it still made him feel bad. I'm not moving. He can stay.
“Sorry, I…” Ollie mumbled. “I don’t know sign.”
“He says you can stay.” Fao translated quickly.
“No, it’s alright. I need a shower anyway.”
"No." He'll come back?
“Finn wants to know if you’ll come back.”
“Uh, no, you guys can have some quality time.”
Finn groaned, struggling to find the words. He stumbled over the sounds, face screwed up in frustration. "Stay."
“Are you sure?” Ollie asked. “I really don’t mind.”
A grin made its way to Finn’s face. But he needs to bring snacks.
“Finn says you need to bring snacks.”
“I can do snacks. What do you want?”
Everything.
“I’ll see what I can do, then.”
11 notes
·
View notes
Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
14K notes
·
View notes