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cinnamon-galaxies · 23 days

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Unspoken Feelings

Pairings: Alastor x gn!Reader

Warnings/Tags: gn!reader, tension, lots of tension, unspoken feelings, hurt but also comfort?, Alastor is bad at feelings, inner conflict, suppressed feelings, does the ending count as (light) angst?, bittersweet ending, I'm bad at tagging

Summary: Loving you is hard, but being with you is harder. And being with Alastor is dangerous.

Wordcount: 1.9k

A/N: This one is very short compared to my other fic but full of (heartbreaking) tension.

*****

{Masterlist}

───*✱*.｡:｡*✱*.:｡.*✧*.:｡*✰*｡:.*✧*.｡:.*✱*｡: ｡.*✱*───

You sat at the grand piano in the dimly lit lounge of the hotel. Your fingers glided gracefully across the keys, seamlessly transitioning between the notes with a captivating elegance. With closed eyes you surrendered to the enchanting melody, completely entranced by its spell. Your soft voice sang along, a subtle sound that harmonized with heartbreaking lyrics of the ballad that had such a special place in your heart, reminding you of bittersweet moments and cherished dreams.

Alastor sat not far from you in an armchair with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His crimson eyes remained fixed on you, captivated by your fervent performance that fully caught his attention. Though he heard you play before he had never witnessed such a fiery passion put into the music that came from your fingers. Your singing voice was enchanting, echoed from the high ceiling like a siren’s song casting a spell on every person who could hear you. It was as though you were revealing a concealed message and opening your heart to whatever you had in mind.

He closed his eyes while he let himself get bewitched by your spell, fully succumbing to your beautiful performance. Were you even aware that he was watching you? Listened to you singing and playing like a muse? He didn’t know it but also he didn’t care as long as you kept playing and filled the hole in his heart with the sound of your song, as a clenching feeling tugged on his stomach, clouded by a pang of longing. He knew exactly what he felt right now. How he felt about you, but expressing those emotions was a different story. He wasn’t good at feelings, let alone at admitting them. It was hard to even admit them to himself, just to begin with. He found himself caught up in denial for far too long and had blamed it on his mind playing tricks on him – he even preferred to diagnose himself as mentally ill than to just accept the fact that he had grown fond of you. Way too fond.

That he started longing for you.

Loved you.

Love.

He let out a dismissive laugh that was far too quiet for you to hear over the sound of the piano.

Love was a feeling he had never felt before. At least not in this way. He had loved his mother unconditionally. She had been the closest and dearest person to him that ever existed in his whole lifetime. And there were other people who were close to him and who he cared about. A lot. But nothing like this could be compared to what he felt in your presence. What feelings you evoke deep inside of him as he looked you in the eyes, felt your lingering gaze on him, listened to you talk and laugh with all your heart. The way his thoughts about you occupied his every breath and kept him awake at night because otherwise if he closed his eyes all he could see was your beautiful face haunting his mind like a tormenting ghost. Oh sweet hells, he even dreamed about you. Was this really the love people were so obsessed with and that was considered the most beautiful thing in the world? There was no way he could comprehend this; no matter how hard he tried. You possessed his every thought and made him question his sanity. It was an uncomfortable feeling that tugged on him, almost completely tore him apart. He hated it. But yet he didn’t want to miss it.

He opened his eyes again, watching your graceful silhouette moving in front of the grand piano and couldn’t help himself but smile contendly, his eyes glowing with sparks of joy. Though no matter how many feelings of happiness tingled in his guts, he felt heartbroken at the same time. Your relationship has always been complicated. You danced around each other, both too far to take the leap. There was so much on you that Alastor admired. Your view on life and your admiration for the smaller things. The way you animatedly gestured around while you told him a story and how your eyes sparkled with anticipation whenever you were about to do the things you adored the most. He admired your creativity and your talent, the passion you put into your music when you played one of your instruments and used your powerful voice to sing along. The way you danced with him as if you were a graceful swan. He also admired your strength and independence, your self-confidence, your stubbornness, your abnormal sense of humor and psychotic tendencies that always reminded him that you were in hell for a reason. He admired the way you weren’t afraid to show off your insanity, even implemented some of your sickest fantasies on hell’s worst spawns. He admired you.

Alastor took a sip of his whiskey. His thoughts made him sound like a fool – an immature and cheesy teenager – whenever he tried to unravel the clot that every oh so normal person considered love.

By now he was aware that he himself had become a victim of this cruel but also beautiful torture. But no matter how confident he was of his actions his own demons held him back to fully committing to you and the feelings he harbored in his chest, carefully tucked away in a heart shaped box. He was everything but a saint. He’d never be enough for you because he knew that he would never change. All he could give you was sorrow and pain and if there was one thing he didn’t want you to bear, it was you suffering from his incapabilities of being the lover you deserved.

The song came to an end and that was when Alastor noticed that he had swallowed his whole drink within the shortest amount of time. Not good, as he already felt the effects of the alcohol starting to cloud his senses.

Through the corner of his eye he saw you move and when he turned his face towards you, you caught him by surprise as he met your gaze. Time stood still for a short moment, his heart pounded in his chest as he returned your startled gaze. You obviously hadn’t been aware of his presence until now.

Alastors smile widened in amusement at your dumbfounded expression but he didn’t laugh. Instead, his voice was calm and smooth as he said, “That was quite the performance, my dear.”

You forced yourself to smile, trying hard to hide your embarrassment in front of him – unsuccessfully. What a cute sight, Alastor thought but shook off the thought as soon as it entered his mind.

“Thank you, Alastor,” you responded to him, your voice much more confident than your startled body language expressed. A wave of reassurance overcame you and you calmed down, recovering from the surprise of your unexpected listener. “It’s always nice to have a captive audience. Even though I would’ve preferred to be aware of it,” you then added with a soft voice, a genuine smile forming on your lips.

Alastor chuckled softly. “Well, consider me captivated, indeed.”

The room became silent for a moment as you and Alastor exchanged glances, the air heavy with unspoken words. There was a moment of silent understanding between you, a shared acknowledgement of the unspoken feelings that lingered beneath the surface. Alastor knew he had to say something, to break the tension between you, but the words caught in his throat, unable to be spoken out loud. It was one of those moments when he should have risen from his seat and approached you, embracing your delicate presence and pulling you in a tender kiss. It was what he had dreamed about for weeks, one of those perfect moments that needed no words but mere actions to confess your feelings for each other. There was no doubt that you felt the same for him. Alastor knew that you returned his feelings (at least in some similar way). You had to. Otherwise you would have acted differently in his presence, less nervous, less attentive in his personal needs, less affectionate. You would’ve maintained less eye contact with him, not lingering your gaze longer on him than necessary and not secretly stealing glances. Yes, he knew about it but not only because he could feel it when he was watched, but also because people had told him. Not only Charlie had tried to confront him about the supposed ‘tension’ between the both of you, but also Angel couldn’t help but joke loudly about it. Alastor was told how much you smiled in his presence, how much more vivid you behaved in his presence, that subtle tries of yours to catch his attention without raising suspicion. Well, your attempt to remain inconspicuous seemed to have failed – at least in the eyes of the other residents. If no one had told Alastor about it and he wouldn’t have spent time actively paying attention to your changes in behavior around him, he would have never noticed. Never guessed it. You were truly bad at concealing your feelings. Did you even try?

Normally Alastor would’ve laughed at this thought. But in this moment there was nothing to laugh about as the tension between you burned with a subtle passion, drawing the both of you to each other in an unspoken longing.

You loved him at least as much as he loved you.

You wanted him at least as much as he wanted you.

And you needed him at least as much as he needed you.

At least that’s what Rosie had told him when he had spent a whole afternoon conversing with her about that peculiar demoness that made him feel things he never thought possible. But yet, Alastor remained in his armchair, returning your loving expression with unveiled eyes. His breath was heavy and his heart pounded in his chest like a drum on a battlefield.

Oh, how much he wanted to touch you.

To get close to you.

To hug you.

To kiss you.

To make him his. For the rest of eternity.

But he knew his inner demons would show you no mercy. That he would just hurt you to a point of no return. And that was something he was determined not to allow under any circumstances. Something he would never forgive himself for. And he would hurt you. He knew that.

Alastor felt a lump building in his throat and held his breath as it was too painful to continue breathing with that pressure clenching his chest.

The both of you stood there for a moment longer, staring at each other but remained in your unmoved state, silently confessing to each other without a spoken word.

Without making a sound Alastor stood up, his hand wrapped tightly around his empty whiskey glass, knuckles whitening under the pressure. He offered you a small, toothless smile before turning around to leave. His heart was heavy from unspoken desires and the pain of his decision tore his heart into shreds as he left you alone. The door swung close behind him and Alastor couldn’t help but feel a sense of loss wash over him. He knew that loving you was hard. And being without you was even harder.

Cruel.

But it was for the best.

He could never love you the way he wanted to – the way you deserved it. And if protecting you meant tearing himself apart in the most gruesome ways possible, so it should be.

*****

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glitterp0prhaps0dy · 1 month

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'HeartBreak au' part 1

so idk if its obvious or not, but this is the first part to that john dory angst au I asked if yall wanted to see :) I'm not that good at making comics look good, I so far can make them look like..........well this lemme know if you want more parts and or have any questions!

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skyjasper · 1 month

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Betray You Like A Man.

Azriel X Rhys sister oc (but Rhys Centric kinda?! Rhys and Az angst?)

Summary: HOFAS bonus chapter inspired. Azriel and his mate Y/N Moonbeam aka Rhysands little sister have been hiding for over 50 years. When her older brother finds out he is anything but happy.

Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of SA, Yelling, lots and lots of Angst, quite Az.

Words: 1,382.

~~~

She and Azriel had been seeing each other secretly for over 50 years now. They had been through hell and back together, finding out about Rhysand under the mountain, Supporting her brother with his mate, fighting a damned war, and even finding out they were mates. Not once did either of them let on to their secret relationship, always passing each other with cold glances and curt words. The only form of kindness shown was on important occasions. But the minute they were alone, when they got back to their secret apartment, they were perfectly fine.

That was until Rhysand barged into Azriel’s apartment yelling something about Nesta telling Feyre something about their babe and found the two of them laying on the floor. Y/N reading and Azriel mulling over paperwork with a biscuit. In an instant, albeit a second too late, Azriel’s wing was covering her. Rhysands words fell away and he stood still, she could see him just barely through her mate's wing but she knew that her older brother could smell her.

“Azriel,” Rhysand growled out. With a knowing sight, Azriel released his wing that covered Y/N’s frame, not hiding her wings.

The moment Rhysands eyes found her matching violet ones he turned and walked out, slamming the door. She turned her head to her mate whose eyes were glazed over in silent conversation, she decided to listen to what Rhys had told him.

“Do we go? We should probably give him time to calm down shouldn’t we?” She asked, staring at Azriel’s golden eyes. He just nodded quietly.

Silently and with deathly calmness they gathered themselves and flew to the river house. She winced as they walked in the door, taking in the ruined vases and the loud shouting of her other brother and sister trying to calm Rhysand down.

“I DO NOT CARE. THAT IS MY SISTER.” He screamed at Cassian. She turned to Azriel, putting a hand on his chest to stop him,

“Maybe I should go in there alone.” She offered. And with a short nod he agreed, before she could walk away he grabbed her arm, and with a deadly voice he spoke,

“If he even thinks about yelling at you I will be in there. I will just be right outside.” Then he let go so she could enter the room. When she did she gasped at the sight of her older brother.

“Rhysand,” she spoke firmly, only slightly scared as his raging eyes turned on her.

“Is that bastard here?!” He spoke.

“It doesn’t matter, Rhysand.” She went to place her hand on his arm when he flinched away and stared at her with disgust.

“Don’t even get me started on you.” He raised his voice, tears springing to her eyes at his reaction. The pair of them had always been as thick as thieves, never staying mad, and definitely never yelling at each other like this.

In an instant, Azriel was behind her, hands on her waist to inform her he was behind her. Her brother didn’t even glance at the male behind her before continuing,

“I can’t believe you slept with my brother like some common whore.” He spat out like a slap in the face, he knew what she had been through, what she had done for him while he was under the mountain. A cry fell out of her mouth, his words inflicting more pain than any physical blow could.

Before she could say anything the entire room went still, the bottom half of the room covered in angry shadows. Before she could blink her mate had her brother around the throat against the wall.

“Be very careful how you talk about my mate,” Azriel growled, she could feel his anger festering through the bond. She sent a comforting phantom hand over his shoulder.

“Your mate?!” Rhysand laughed, “That’s hilarious brother, no one could ever love a bastard like you. We all know it, just admit it Azriel, you aren’t capable of loving a female.”

And then it was Y/N who was on top of her brother, facing him with a slap that resonated throughout the entire room. Not a single soul spoke as the sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the room. Not even Feyre said anything as her sister-in-law hit her mate.

“Fuck you Rhysand.” She yelled. “Fuck you for reacting like this! You are nothing but a cowardly piece of shit. You blame everyone else for everything that is your fault. Did you ever stop and think as to why we didn’t tell you?!” She yelled, Rhysands mouth opened to respond but she continued, “No Rhysand, you don’t get to speak. Maybe if for once in your godsforsaken life actually looked at anyone other than your mate you see that the people around you are going through shit! You would see the face that Elain is on the verge of breaking, that Nesta was going through something none of us could possibly imagine, that Cassian was coping and that I, your fucking sister, was traumatized. I get it Rhysand, what you went through under the mountain, trust me I get it, but it does not give you the right to treat everyone else like shit because they don’t react the same way you do to trauma. You do not get to sit here and act like my brother trying to defend my honor when you haven’t actually acted like a decent brother for the past 3 years!” She screamed in his face.

She gave him one more resounding slap before standing up and finding Azriels hands.

“Do not come find us brother, for I do not want to see your pitiful face.”

Then, hand in hand with her mate, they left. They both flew, flew for hours till they were at the cabin Azriel had built for his mother before she passed. When they arrived and got out of the cold she sunk to her knees, tears finally flowing.

Az’s rough hands came to hold her face, “Shh my love, he is not worthy of your tears.” He murmured into her hair. Instead of trying to calm her again he just let her cry, not once letting her go, instead instructing his shadows to gather water and blankets.

So she fell asleep crying in his arms over the hurt her brother had caused. And when she woke she found Azriel’s dark hair. She stared at him as her fingers twirled in the onyx strands.

“You know what he said wasn’t true right, you know how to love and you are worthy of it Azriel. You and I are the proof, this right here,” she gestured in between the two, lightly pulling on the golden ribbon that flowed between them. “This is the proof. I love you beyond words Azriel. I know you feel the same shadow singer.” She told him. Observing as his hands tightened around her waist. They had both suffered far too much to let the words of her cruel brother diminish all the progress they had made.

It wasn’t easy at the beginning, getting Azriel to open up and come to accept himself. It took him years to realize he was worthy of her love. That he wasn’t a broken bastard.

“I love you beyond the sun and the stars, I would travel worlds for you Azriel. And if the stars would vanish then I would voyage through the darkness with nothing but my bare hands to find you.” She whispered, “I would rip the wings off my back if yours were ruined because I know how much you need to fly. I would kill gods and kings alike to ensure you are safe. For as long as I am alive you will no longer be alone ever again, you will always be loved. I will always love every part of you.” She brought his scarred hands to her lips and kissed the skin on them. When she released his hands her lips found his mouth.

“There are not enough words in this world for me to express my love for you Y/N Moonbeam, So instead let me show you.” He spoke against her lips before moving his kiss down her neck.

And show her he did.

Taglist:

@littlelunatica @going-through-shit @annaaaaa88 @i-am-infinite @impossibelle

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mercymaker · 5 months

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You… you are full of surprises, aren’t you?

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satiraexhibition · 6 months

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#furry character #furry commissions #furrydrawing #clean furry #furry streamer #gay furry #furry oc #furry fandom #furry community #furrycore #back pain #back problems #heartbreak #heartache #halloween

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thatgirlstrawberry · 4 months

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Tolerate It - Spencer Reid

In which Spencer has a hard time treating his girlfriend right after a hard case

Warning: cursing, sadness, angry arguments, suggestiveness, lmk if I missed anything!

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

It seemed to always be dark after that one case. During the daytime, it was cloudy, during the night not even the moon would illuminate the dark corners in their apartment. Spencer was dark.

She sat curled up in an arm chair with her head resting against her fist. She watched Spencer read with his head down low, slower than he had ever read in his life.

He’d barely looked at her all month. When he came back from a case a few weeks prior, he seemed off. He came in and gave her a kiss and a hug, like always but something was off. He did embrace her. He didn’t hold her and make sure she was there. He didn’t kiss her lips like he missed them. He made it seem like a chore.

She inhaled deeply, tearing her eyes away from him for a few moments. “Spence,” she called.

He said nothing but she knew that he’d heard her.

“Spencer.” She tried again. He looked up from his book slowly.

“What?” He asked. It wasn’t snappy but, he let out an exaggerated sigh behind it.

The woman bit her lip. “I just—“ She paused when he looked back down at his book. Her face fell and she swallowed. “What do you… want for dinner?” She asked, giving up on her original question.

“Whatever we have is fine.” He looked back down at his book.

She slid out of the chair, standing up and looking at him. “Okay.” She whispered. She turned and headed for the kitchen, her eyes stinging. Her heart banged against her rib cage and she tried not to make too much noise.

Her hands pressed against the edge of the sink as she tried to breathe steadily. Tears poured from her eyes and she could see a faint reflection of herself in the window in front of her. She looked at the reflection behind, Spencer was still looking down at his stupid book.

She ended up making some sort of pasta. She set the tiny table they had with two glistening plates and forks. She filled their glasses with wine and lit a candle in the middle. It was her attempt at some sort of romantic dinner.

“Spencer, dinner’s ready.” She turned her head to look at him.

He walked over, seemingly coming right for her. He leaned down, she thought he would kiss her without being asked. But no. Instead he blew out the candle in the middle of the table.

Her eyes immediately filled with tears as she watched him go to the other side and sit down. “The scent was giving me a headache.” He shrugged.

She lowered her head and inhaled. They ate in silence. Her leg bounced up and down rapidly underneath the table. He didn’t look at her once.

Later that night, Spencer was in the shower and she was getting ready for bed. She sat staring at the wall until she heard the water stop.

She bit her lip and blinked. She got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom door. She opened it and saw Spencer standing there with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

He went to step in front of the sink but she stepped in front of him before he could get to it. His hands instinctively grabbed her arms. “What are you doing?” He asked, his hands were warm against her cold arms.

“Please kiss me.” She looked up at him in desperation. He leaned down and kissed her with no emotion, a single peck. He pulled away. “Really?” She shook her head. “You haven’t touched me in weeks. Really kiss me, Spencer.”

He leaned down, lips ghosting over her own. “I can’t.” He frowned.

She stared into his eyes searching for a way she could understand why he was acting like this. She shut her mouth and glared at him after a moment. She moved from between the him and the sink and left the bathroom, slamming the door.

She crawled underneath the heavy duvet and squeezed her eyes shut to prevent any tears from coming out.

But they poured anyway.

.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.

She was standing in the kitchen the next morning doing the dishes she didn’t have the energy to do the night before. She stood in her own pajama pants and a tank top when she’d usually be wearing something of Spencer’s.

Spencer walked out of the bedroom in distress. “Why didn’t you wake me up, I’m going to be late.” He asked, walking into the kitchen looking for his watch.

She didn’t respond to him. She finished cleaning the dishes and took a sip of her coffee. “Your watch is on the end table.” She spoke softly.

He walked into the kitchen after putting his watch on and grabbed the cup of lukewarm coffee that his girlfriend had made for him.

“I can’t keep doing this, Spencer.” She said loudly. She wanted to catch his attention.

“I’m going to be late for work—“

“No. We need to talk about this.”

He sighed and looked at his watch. “I think—“

“Listen, Spencer.” She snapped. “Whatever happened, I’m sorry. I am. I know that your job is hard and you see messed up things but you can’t just— stop being you!” She shook her head and set down her coffee cup. “Where are you Spencer? You have to help me so I can help you.”

“I really can’t talk about this right now.”

“So you’re just gonna throw away four years, Spencer?” She scoffed. He shook his head, crossing his arms.

“I’m not throwing away anything! You’re the one trying to break up what we have!” He yelled.

“You already did!”

A silence was loud between them. Her breaths were ragged, her lips parted like something was trying to escape. “I’ve had this— this dagger in me ever since you came back from that case. You won’t talk about it and it feels like you’re just pushing it in deeper! I’ve been afraid to break free and leave us in ruins because you’re the first person I’ve ever loved, Spencer.”

He looked like he didn’t know what to say. He never did.

“You come home day after day and I’m waiting there, wishing you snapped out of it. I look like a kid standing there with my hands behind my back, begging you to feel something for me! Every time I speak about you to my mom on the phone I use the best words to describe you but you don’t even think about me, do you?”

He took a step forward and she pushed herself back in to the kitchen counter. Tears fell down her cheeks. “I got out the fact fucking plates, Spencer!”

He tilted his head, the first sign of emotion that she’d seen in a while. “I tried to give you space! I’ve been walking on eggshells , waiting for you to come to me but you’ve treated me like barbed wire.”

The desperation in her voice made Spencer sick to his stomach. Why couldn’t he just snap out of it? Why couldn’t he give her the love she deserved?

“Just tell me why, Spencer. Tell me what I can do and I’ll do it.” She walked towards him and placed her hands on the side of his face. A last ditch effort, hoping that he’d come to his senses.

A single tear cascaded down his cheek and he backed out of her hands. He walked away from her and left the apartment.

He shut the door and leaned up against it, listening to her gut wrenching sobs. He heard her knees hit the floor and squeezed his eyes shut before walking away.

When he came home that night, she wasn’t there.

He walked into the bedroom expecting her to be cuddled up in the sheets but the bed was made. He found the dresser drawers opened. Her side was cleaned out.

He panicked and walked into the kitchen and saw that dinner was made and sitting on the stove.

A sticky note was stuck to the range hood above the stove.

I took the dagger in me and removed it, I’m sorry.

With a sigh, he bit his lip and shuffled back to the room that he used to share with the love of his life.

But now, she was gone all because he couldn’t do anything but tolerate her.

———————————-

Hello! I’m so sorry that I’ve been gone for so long.

I took a break because I’ve been so busy and my boyfriend and I had broken up so I was pretty sad for a while but I’m heeled now sand better than ever!

I hope you enjoyed this this is my favorite Taylor Swift song atm and I relate soooo much!

Love ya bunches ❤️❤️❤️

Taglist:

@tuesday-yellowxx

@blue-willows

@montarella

@criminallymagic

@mermateyepmatewithte

@lipstixstain

@urlovelydarling

@dreatine

@f-me-reid

@fantastic-fans

@aleyda5

@thatsonezesty13

@creativeuser101

@d0ntfeedaftermidnight

@jacksonms31

@scorpiofangirl1109

@perseuswaves

@baseballmama35

@lilybarnesposts

@s-udaku-my-love

@melifluorei-d

@lavenderrway

@fairy-alix

@whompwhompbang

@callsignwidow

@regulus-black-223048

@mushy-mushroom04

@v-i-o-l-e-t

@livviex

@fudosl

@rintheemolion

@abbygraceasd

@yuulina-vre

@oatmealisweird

@steveharringtonssidepiece

@ameliaxcriminalminds

@miaxx03

@moyo5653

@stevenknightmarc

@honey-on-my-lips

@whenmypartysover

@sophiario

@cynbx

@princess-ofthe-pages

@kenzi-woycehoski

@loving-and-dreaming

#spencer reid #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid x original female character #spencer x oc #spencer x reader #crimimal minds #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #spencer reid angst #sadness #heartbreak

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moodytanuki · 6 days

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waiting for a message that doesn't come

#furry #fursona #ocs #commissions #heartbreak #sad #idk

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rui-drawsbox · 8 months

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fakit. if life isnt going to isekaime into twst ill do it myself

me and some ppl were talking in discord abt how should we put our sonas in the dormitories (if we should put were we like more or the one that fits us more) and we agreed that the ones that r in ignihyde fits because the personality and/or like games, bc no one knows how to fix techno things

#blue is actually one of the colors that doesnt look that good in my skin. heartbreaking :#c #rui draw smth #twisted wonderland #twst #twst oc

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antlerqueer · 9 months

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Heartbreak High (2022-). Canon Queer Characters.

@lgbtqcreators event 15 — lgbtq+ around the world ; bingo - free space

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strangegutz · 19 days

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Ain’t letting it happen to me.

#heartbreak gulch #eddie ramirez #eddie black eyes #oc art #a lonesome cowboy

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elderwisp · 2 months

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HAD THE BLUES OVER YOU, I DIDN'T HANG WITH MY FRIENDS!

#i showed my bf this one and he was like this one is my fave :)#this honestly feels so different even for me but i loved editing this sm!#the font says “you're the leech i'm the man i guess you don't understand” v catchy song #fellas it's gonna be a heartbreak summer in tessellate #because i am evil #oc: ares #ts4 #simblr #my sims #sims 4

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deadfishbullthing · 1 month

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Fanart of @facelesskiwami 's sona HEARTBREAK!

Super fun to draw ^ w ^

#fanart #others ocs #fatfur #my art #heartbreak #furry art

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good-beanswrites · 3 months

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My thoughts on how the Milgram mv machine works based on the evidence we have:

(I know there’s been discussion about where exactly the interrogations take place, but wherever they are,) the prisoners are made to sit in a specific chair near the wall that houses the machine.

It’s ordinarily hidden, but the wall panels shift aside to reveal it when the mechanical sounds play in the dramas. As well as the walls moving, the chair transforms to restrain the prisoner and attach whatever it takes to access their brain. The fact that none of the more frightened prisoners try to run or break it makes it seem like they physically cannot. This is why Fuuta sounds so panicked, and why Amane is suddenly helpless in front of Es in their T1 vds.

(My mind conjures very classic sci-fi mad scientist machines with wires, pipes, lights, nodes, needles, etc, but I’d love to hear how other people visualize it.)

In some vds (maybe all? I’d need to check,) you can hear Es take some steps right before their iconic line -- it would make sense that for safety reasons, the power mechanism is placed across the room. Once again it could be anything, but the sound effect makes me think of one of those giant wall-mounted levers you have to pull down.

The voice dramas don’t really provide the type of crime details that an actual interrogation would reveal, and it’s odd that they’re placed before the extraction rather than after Es gets to see the new details. This leads me to believe the machine functions with priming. All Es needs to do is get them talking about their murder, so it’s on their mind.

The video produced is much like a (non-lucid) dream. Even if the prisoners figure out that this is how it works, they can’t control it just by thinking really hard about something else. The murders produce the strongest emotional affect, and that’s what it picks up on. If someone else used the machine, it would default to whatever gave them the strongest emotional reaction in the ~15 minutes beforehand, hence why Es’ video focuses on their daunting task ahead. (The Undercover theory is still a bit loose, though, given the private shots that Es wouldn't have known about). It’s why the videos are usually closely linked to the vd topics/beats. I also like to think that the reason their prisoner colors appear so much is because they’re looking at those colors on their uniform 24/7.

The bell rings to inform Es that it’s the optimal time to use the machine -- the prisoner has been thinking about things for long enough that the video will be about their crime, and if the conversation lasts much longer they’ll start thinking of other things. It’s at a different time for each prisoner because it’s based on the specific conversation. I guess Jackalope is listening in to the interrogation, timing it perfectly. (The only one that kind of messes with this theory is Yonah, because they just keep talking afterwards lol, but it could just show that the interrogation is still in Es’ control.)

Their “Sing your sins” is the final priming nudge to get them to think of their actions as a sin, revealing their guilt.

Once activated, the prisoner enters a sort of trance/sleeping state. It’s very much like REM sleep, with the machine forcibly activating neurons and recording the output. The prisoners have asked Es what they saw, meaning they don’t remember the mvs. I like to think the prisoners do experience the mv in real time, acting as the major version of themself that appears, but can’t remember it afterwards. It’s when you experience a dream, but as soon as you wake up you’re just left with fleeting emotions and memories right on the tip of your tongue.

The video plays immediately upon extraction -- whether on a huge projection or little screen depends on which room it’s in. It simultaneously saves the memory so that Es can rewatch it later (on those old TVs in the jailbreak mix). The machine downloads the song and video together, but requires special parts to retrieve them. The technology is pretty new and fragile, so if one is broken, there might be a delay between when Es can hear the extracted song and see it with the video. (That’s my justification for Kotoko’s delays -- after 9 prisoners the parts wear out, or maybe Mikoto himself overheats it with his complex situation.)

Based on the lack of conversation we get afterwards, I picture Es leaving before the prisoner wakes from the trance. The machine adjusts their brain back to normal before they awaken, restraints freed and able to return to the rest of the prison.

It’s very much like a dream, so it’s not harmful despite the amnesia/head injuries the prisoners have. It does, however, exhaust them. Brain activity alone takes a lot of energy, so forced brain activity with added emotional strain would cause them to feel pretty drained the rest of the day.

#milgram #👍👍#if theres anything contradictory please lmk -- this is how ive been taking the evidence we have so i definitely want to rethink things if #theres a mistake #but also i just wanna hear what people have been picturing 🤔#i mentioned it before but the jailbreak tvs really did shift my brain from sleek tech to clunky old scifi vibes #im also still partial to an idea mentioned a long time ago about the prisoners waking up to catch the last few moments of their mv #and how heartbreaking that can be for some #but i feel like it would make more sense if there was no direct interaction after the extraction since es is overwhelmed with different #reactions (from us) and the prisoners themselves are raw with emotion and fatigue #i like the thought of interrogations occuring in that big courtroom (seen in undercover and now deep cover)#but that room seems way too echo-y for the vds to take place in #and it seems overkill to build every cell with moving panel walls and access to the machine #so the jurys still out on that one #(also hehe im still so excited that my oc fits very nicely into all of this but i kept this post 100% canon compliant)#analysis/thoughts

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