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jadegrey711 · 4 years

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It’s your Voodoo Working

Caliban x Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello my loves. I’m slowly getting through my requests and one of them requested I do another Caliban oneshot. Which i was more than happy to do since there is so little of him. I tried making it passionate but then a song gave me this other idea for him and i just love writing him as a mischievous little shit.

Also apparently making something passionate means long as fuck. Also by the end of this I just wasn’t feeling the smut so i kind of cut it out. I’m not really feeling my writing very much these days but I hope you guys still enjoy this.

Word Count: 2787

*NOT MY GIF*

Anon: Can you pls do another Caliban smut but maybe this time it’s like passionate as shit? Thank you, love your writing!!

Song Inspiration:

It’s your voodoo working - Charles Sheffield

Feel Me - Mecca Kalani

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711)

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake.

The very first time you laid your eyes on him, you had to admit he was breathtaking. You stood there in awe as he appeared before you and the rest of the Fright Club in a ball of whirling fire. Once he fully materialized in front of all of you, he immediately turned to Sabrina.

“Sabrina.” He regarded her with an easy smile.

“Caliban.” She regarded him in turn, her voice laced with ice. But his smile never wavered.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of you summoning me here, Sabrina?”

“My friends and I need your help, Caliban; in defeating a most foul eldritch beast.” Sabrina said, before she gestured towards us and you watched as Caliban regarded each of you. Starting with Roz, Harvey, Theo and then he turned his attention towards you; his mossy green eyes met yours and that lazy smile returned to his handsome face.

“Enchanted.” He purred as he drank you in and let the room sit in silence for a beat before he continued, looking away from you and back to Sabrina.

“You know my help doesn’t come free Sabrina.”

Sabrina outwardly groaned. “Name your price.” She said with a wave of her hand as if that’ll make him spit out his demands faster so she can move on with her life.

“I don’t require much. All I require is your name, fair maiden.” He purred, taking your hand in his before he placed a kiss upon your knuckles.

“Oh damn.” You heard Roz whisper beside you.

Sabrina however, looked extremely irritated. “Come on Caliban you expect me to believe that all you want in exchange for your help is my friend’s name? You must want something else. You can’t have Y/-” Just as Sabrina was about to say your name Caliban cut her off.

“I want her name and I want it from her own lips.” he said an edge of danger in his voice, before he looked back to you, his hand still holding yours in his grasp.

You felt your heart flutter in your chest like a bird in a cage and wet your lips with your tongue before you spoke. “Y/N. My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N.” He whispered your name almost reverently, letting your name roll across his tongue. “It suits you.” He smiled, and that smile made you feel like you had just made the biggest mistake telling him your name.

That first encounter was over a month ago and in that time Caliban was true to his word to his word. He had helped in any capacity he could to aid you in defeating this horror you all were facing. However, in that same amount of time Sabrina had figured out his true intentions for being so helpful. Word on the hellish grapevine was that hell had been lonely for the new king, since he and Sabrina had locked up dear old dad and he wanted a queen for himself, and was setting his eyes upon you.

Sabrina warned you, to stay away that he was the definition of a bastard and to not put it past him that he would not simply take his mortal bride like Hades did to Persephone. You tried to shake off the chill as you imagined Caliban rising from the cracked earth, his strong hands gripping you closely to his body as he dragged you to his kingdom of nightmares.

Also within that month you tried avoiding him like the plague, but it seemed no use; Caliban was everywhere you turned, like gum stuck on your shoe. He would meet you outside of your lecture halls, stay close to you at the academy’s library brushing his hands against yours, sometimes leaning in to whisper something close to your ear.

It was starting to become so difficult to keep your blood from not warming at the smallest of his touches, or even just the feeling of his presence as he walked into a room. You felt yourself going mad at each of those little touches and how when he would walk up behind you, leaning over your shoulder to see what your were doing; you found the temptation to just push your body back into his achingly warm one harder to resist. It was like he was working some kind of voodoo on your body, making it so you craved him, wanted him with every fiber of your being; until he didn’t need to wrap his arms around you and steal you away to his kingdom. No. You were going to throw yourself into his arms at the very mention of taking you away.

*****

Today he was working his voodoo again, he came up behind you and placed his hands on your hips. You tried not to moan out right at the feeling of his large warm hands on your waist, making you immediately conjure up images of what he could do with those hands.

“How are you today, lovely Y/N?” He whispered in your ear.

You steeled yourself before your answered him. “I’ll be better when you get your hands off of me.” you tried to say it with menace but there was no bite in your voice.

“Why would I want to do that?” he nuzzled his nose in your hair just behind your ear before he whispered. “I think my hands belong here and I think your hands belong on me. Don’t you agree?”

“No.” you said shakily. You looked around the academy’s library but no one was here, not even Sabrina. No one was here to save you from the eclipsing fog filling your head that was Caliban.

“Come on Y/N.” he said nuzzling your hair again, making goosebumps run down your arms and your back erupt with a spine tingling shiver. “Why do you keep denying what we have here? I’ve seen the carnal lust in your eyes from the very moment that we met, just as you’ve seen it in mine. So, why fight it?”

You steeled yourself as your turned in Caliban’s arms, facing him now; those moss green eyes focused acutely on your body. Taking in the way your chest heaved up and down with each deep steadying breath you took, your breasts barely brushing against his chest with every breath. He took in the sound of your heartbeat rapidly increasing as he kept staring at you, observing you, devouring the image of you.

“I know what you want from me. And it’s not just carnal, as you love to say.” You said, trying not to notice the heat radiating from his body, or the way your nipples were aching peaks as you gazed back into those jade eyes.

Caliban licked his lips, stepping just a hair closer to you and closing the small space between your bodies. “And what is it that I truly want from you Y/N?” he asked as he reached up and tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Sabrina told me about you and your desire for some meek mortal bride. Someone to use and frighten for eons.” You said, trying to calm your increasing heartbeat.

“Do I frighten you Y/N?” he asked, his eyebrow quirked up in question.

“No.” You said, feeling the truth of it ring out in your voice.

“I’m glad to hear that.” He said before pausing for a breath, leaning down to place a small kiss against your cheek, and felt that small kiss shoot through your entire body like a lightning strike. “Sabrina has heard right, I am looking for a queen. But, you’re wrong about wanting a meek woman by my side, someone like that wouldn’t last five seconds. No.” he said as he placed another kiss but this time on the other cheek.

You should push him away from you, wipe his gentle kisses off with disgust but you couldn’t fight the increasing warmth that seemed to radiate deeper into your bones and soul with each small kiss he gave you.

“I wanted someone strong and fiery. Someone who would defy me at every turn.” He placed a kiss against your neck on your rapid pulse, making you gasp. “This makes me a bit of a masochist I know this. But, I wanted a woman, not a girl and when I first saw you Y/N, I knew instantly that you were that woman and from that moment on I’ve desperately wanted to see a crown placed on your head.” He finished, placing a kiss on the other side of your neck.

“Caliban.” You whispered, biting your bottom lip hard.

“You don’t have to love me Y/N, not now that’ll come in time” Caliban said breathily as his soft kisses on your neck became more desperate, and started to feel your resolve weaken as Caliban’s spell on your was finally working it’s magic on you. “Just let me love you right now.” Caliban said his voice husky. “Please Y/N.” That’s when you realized he was asking your permission. His hands were starting to roam over your body, igniting your even hotter as they lifted up your shirt slightly in their exploration, and skin touched skin.

But with one word from you, he’d stop; you knew that. But did you actually want him to stop? His large hands grabbed your ass by the handfuls and you knew that was most definitely not the case.

You reached up with trembling hands and dug your fingers into those luscious blonde locks, hearing Caliban moan as you gently pulled on them. His eyes never left yours as you nodded slowly to him, telling him exactly what you wanted; that you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

Caliban’s lips crashed against yours, and you felt his heat fully envelope you as you opened your mouth to his invading tongue, letting yours meet his in a dance of dominance. With your hands still deep in his blonde locks, you pulled him closer to you, wanting to feel every part of his body against yours.

Caliban’s hands roamed back down your back and ass until they reached the back of your thighs and you took that as a signal to jump and wrap your legs around his waist. He smiled against your lips and starting walking away from the table you were originally by and closer towards the massive fireplace in the library. Without breaking the kiss Caliban brought the both of you in front of the fireplace and sat down on the rug in front of it, having you straddle his lap.

Caliban’s lips pulled away from yours only so they could attach themselves to your neck, placing soft kisses there before those soft kisses turned to harsh sucks. You craned your neck to the side to give him more access as you delved your fingers into his luscious locks. You felt Caliban’s hands roam down your back and gently squeezed your ass, making you smile before you felt his fingers grab the edges of your shirt and as they roamed back up your back he was bringing up your shirt. You helped him out by bringing up your arms and then your shirt was on the floor next to you.

You watched as Caliban took in the sight of your exposed body with such an intensity in his eyes that it made you blush all over. You watched with equal intensity as Caliban lowered his head to your breasts and kissed the tops of them, his hands reaching behind you once again to undo the clasp of your bra with ease. He looked mesmerizing as he watched it slip from your shoulders and you placed it with your shirt.

Caliban started to lower his head again but you stopped him. “Wait.” You said biting your lip. “I want to see you.” You said as you grabbed the edge of his shirt and lifted it off of him and watched as his shirt joined yours in the ever growing pile of clothes next to you.

You reach your hands out hesitantly to touch him, and heard a low groan come from between his plush lips as your hands rested at the top of his chest. You ran your hands down him feeling every muscle tighten as you explored his grooves and scars.

“You’re beautiful.” You whispered. “If you truly were made from clay as Sabrina says, I think you were perfectly sculpted.”

“Oh, Y/N. I think you’ll be the death of me.” he groaned and suddenly you felt the sensation of falling and your head met with the soft rug underneath you. You watched as Caliban hovered over you, situating himself between your legs and drinking you in.

Caliban let out a small sigh. “I may be beautiful yes this is true.” He said, a small smirk growing on his face and you smiled at his arrogance, fighting the urge to give his arm a smack. “But my beauty is nothing compared to you and especially to you in this moment laid out before me like a goddess. I pale in comparison.” He said and lowered his head back to you neck and you instinctively moved it to the side to giving him more access to you. You watched in wonder as Caliban’s kisses started moving lower, kissing the tops of your collarbones, his tongue tracing down your sternum and to the valley of your breasts, his hair all the while tickling you as he moved lower.

You let out a gasp as you felt Caliban’s tongue trace circles around your harden nipple before bringing it into his mouth and sucking. The sensation of his mouth around you and his tongue flicking at your nipple made your back arch into his mouth, desperately wanting more.

Suddenly, you felt Caliban’s hands on the tops of your jeans and began unbuttoning them as he began lavishing your other breast with the same devotion.

His hands were agile and he finished undoing the buttons of your jeans and began pulling them down; at the same time his lips were beginning to move further down your body.

You felt the heat in your body spike as you realized what Caliban was planning to do to you next. “Caliban.” You sounded breathy, as his name came out almost as a plea. You wanted him to end his slow methodical torture and just wanted to take you, make you his. But as Caliban pulled away from you and brought your legs up to start pulling off your jeans, you realized he had other plans for you.

He gently pulled away your jeans and panties all at once, being so gentle as he took your feet out of each one of the pant legs, before tossing your panties and jeans both to the side; leaving you completely bare under him. He kept your legs up and by his face and never broke eye contact with you as he took one leg and began kissing you, starting from your ankle and working down till he got to your inner thigh.

“Caliban, please.” You heard yourself beg. But beg for what? Him to stop or for him to never stop?

“What do you want princess?” he asked his voice a low growl, as he started kissing your other leg, working down it slowly placing kisses on your ankles, behind your knees, working to your inner thighs again.

“I feel like you’re torturing me. You’ve been torturing me this whole month and now now you’re killing me.”

You watched as he lowered himself to settle in between your thighs, feeling breathless and needy.

He smiled at you his eyes locking onto yours as you felt those soft lips kiss you intimately. “There’ll be no more torture Y/N. Once you’ve given yourself fully over to me you will only know bliss.” He murmured against your inner thighs, kissing down both of them before he continued licking at you; his tongue flicked your clit and you felt your back lift from the ground.

“Caliban.” You pleaded, digging your fingers in his hair, almost as if you wanted to pull him away or push him closer to you. “Caliban, I need you, I want you, I want to give in to you.”

With that Caliban stopped and pulled away from your quaking center, making you whimper from the loss of contact. His eyes seemed to glow with the intensity they held in them. “Do you mean it? Because if you do, there’s no going back. You’re mine and I am yours.”

“I mean it.” You say with a sincerity that surprised you and felt a smile bloom across your face as Caliban wrapped you up in him and sealed your fate.

#Caliban #caliban x reader #jade tries writing #caliban imagines #caliban chilling adventures of sabrina #caos caliban #caliban caos #caliban x you #caliban insert #the chilling adventures of Sabrina #chilling adventures of sabrina imagines #chilling adventures of sabrina netflix #chilling adventures of sabrina oneshots #caos #netflix the chilling adventures of sabrina #caos imagines #caos oneshots #not so smutty smut

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gothamslittlejester · 4 years

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SFW Alphabet with Phoenix!Joker and Ledger!Joker

Hello, I am not dead. I’m really sorry I haven’t posted in forever, so here’s a pretty long piece for both the clownbois to make up for it for you guys (hopefully,, aghhh). I hope my joker license has not been revoked lol, forgive me lovelies.

The characters will be written separately, but feel free to imagine them together if you wish! I just thought writing them both at once made for an interesting comparison. Phoenix!Joker will be referred to as Arthur, and Ledger!Joker as J. I didn’t do all the alphabet letters because some were repetitive, so here’s the ones I thought would make good headcannons!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Out of the two, Arthur is considerably more affectionate. Being so deprived of love for so long, he doesn’t hesitate to absolutely smother you in affection 24/7, whether that be through kisses, long hugs and warm smiles, or more subtle actions like helping you clean around the house or washing your hair in the bath. He may be a killer clown, but he can’t help dotting on you every time you’re together.

· He also praises you any chance he gets, cooing in your ears how amazing you are and how much you mean to him. He wants you to feel loved in every way possible, both verbally and physically.

· His favorite way of showing affection is making you laugh or cheering you up whenever you’re down. Bad jokes? Cute magic tricks? Running your boss over with a truck? He knows the blues can come and go as they please and they can really affect your whole mood, so he makes sure to always bring some happiness in your life.

Ledger!Joker

· J shows his affection in much more subtle ways, although with time you find yourself picking up on them effortlessly. He may not always vocalize his affection, but there’s no denying his adoration for you.

· He’s very playful with you; tickle fights, wrestling matches, pinching your ass and ruffling your hair are all things you grow accustomed to, and they never fail to make you laugh. If you blush or squeak in response to his antics, J will think it’s the cutest and funniest thing in the world. He’ll only be more encouraged to get that response out of you next time, so good luck to you.

· At night, his displays of affection shift from playful to more protective and domineering. If he’s feeling suddenly possessive of you, he envelops you in a protective hug and pulls you into his chest. His side of the bed will always the one closest to the door in case of trouble.

· His affection is very physical, and will often be shown through actions. He’ll take care of any inconvenience you have- someone bother you, sweetheart? You never see them again.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur will always be there for you, listening to you vent for hours, helping you with any little chore or problem you have and just chilling with you by the television for hours. He’s never had someone to confide in and care for him, and every understanding look and encouraging smile you give him is stored in a special place in his heart.

· Not only is he a great listener for you too, but his advice is never halfhearted. If you have a problem, or something you’re uncertain about, he’ll do his best to help you sort it out until you’re confident again. He’ll be there for you no matter what, because you’ll be there for him too.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, Having J as a friend is extremely chaotic and often leads to him dragging you away to join him on some illegal adventure at 3 in the morning. Are you gonna go rob a bank or go scare the elderly? Who knows, who cares! Just get dressed and join him!

· Philosophical conversations with J are incredible. He never dismisses your ideas or thoughts of the world, encouraging you to always speak your mind, filter free. There’s no need to hide from him, ever.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Phoenix!Joker

· When he cuddles you, Arthur feels like all his problems just melt away, and therefor will not let go of your body for hours. It’s therapeutic and heals his soul in a way that his medication never could.

· His little secret is that he loves it when he’s the little spoon, or just generally being cradled by you. Lying on top of your chest just to hear your heartbeat? Absolute heaven.

· His favorite thing to do is to rub his nose in the crook of your neck and take a big breath, relishing in your scent. It makes him feel so safe and loved he could cry, and during bad days he probably has. Even after he turned into Joker, it would take a bulldozer to rip his grabby hands away from your warm body. Due to how frail and cold his body is, he’s not the epitome of a teddy bear, but the amount of love and comfort that radiate off of him is enough to make for that. It’s nothing a warm blanket can’t fix, and his kisses are the warmest all year round.

Ledger!Joker

· Now, J would never admit it, but he’s just as big of a cuddler as Arthur. I know, I know, controversial! But there is no way you can convince me that this man isn’t an attention seeking, touch starved, hug deprived needy little asshole. Having you wrap your arms around him in the middle of the night, melting into his body with a satisfied sigh, is cocaine to him. Feeling you playfully jump on his back and embrace him from behind makes J want to blow up the city for you. He’ll do it too, don’t tempt him.

· Only difference is, he much more prefers it when you initiate it- seeing you all needy and pouty for him just makes him so giddy. What’s that Y/N? You’re desperate for him? Well, I guess he can hold you in his arms, since he’s so generous...

· Of course, he’s not shy either, and will get his way if need be. If you sit more than 2 inches away from him on the couch you’re instantly pulled onto his lap, and don’t even think about falling asleep without being buried in his side. He wants to feel loved, dammit!

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur’s kisses are soft and dotting, always gentle and loving. He often moans into the kiss and pulls you closer, never getting enough of you. They can be desperate and needy after a long day away from you, but they are generally very sweet and slow.

· He likes to press kisses all over your face and cheeks, liking the way you giggle as he peppers them all over you. He really cant get enough of you, and just the knowledge that he has someone in his life that enjoys being intimate with him leaves Arthur completely awed.

· He’ll take any sort of kiss from you without complaint, but his favorite is when you’re holding him from behind, either in bed or in the bath, and press a gentle one to his back. It makes him feel loved and safe, which he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Ledger!Joker

· When J kisses you, he truly does steal your breath away. All his passion, obsession and need for you are conveyed effortlessly with the way he moves against your mouth and wraps his arms around your body in a protective manner.

· Although oftentimes rough and sensual, his kisses can also be very teasing and playful. He’ll kiss your hand in a romantic manner just to see you blush and shake your head, or leave little hickeys down neck that he likes to kiss again later. He’s also not opposed to licking you, so watch out for that.

· He’ll never admit it, but he loves it when you lean up to kiss his cheek. It’s such a sweet and gentle action, something he’s not accustomed to whatsoever, and it leaves him feeling very warm and protective inside. Especially when your lips brush against his scars- knowing you love them and want to show them affection makes J want to kill for you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Phoenix!Joker

·Arthur loves being there for children, especially the less fortunate ones. Despite how crazy and ruthless Joker can be, he would never even dream of laying a hand on a child.

· There are times when he remembers the joy that his old persona “Carnival” could bring to the sad young faces of all those kids, and it’s enough to make him grimace and reminisce on what he lost.

· He’d never expect to start a family with you while he’s out being criminal menace as a full time job, but there are times where he allows his imagination to run wild, picturing a world with a better life for the both of you, his children playing in the garden while you grow old together.

Ledger!Joker

· J... J is a bully. He doesn’t have the patience whatsoever to deal with children at all, and overall just finds their incessant questions mind-numbing. They’re not even good questions- questions that provoke a philosophical debate or reconsideration of our purpose in the universe for example- just dumb ones that can be googled in a second. Why is the sky blue? Give him a break.

· Now, He wouldn’t go out of his way to single out a child and brutally kill them- he wants his victims to fully understand their doom, and kids don’t have that level of comprehension yet- but if one of those smug little shits happened to be carrying around a balloon, ho ho! It’s getting popped on sight. You know that saying “steeling lollipops from babies?” Yeah, that’s J.

· May not be a big fan of kids, but if you ever need a top quality dead baby joke, he’s your guy!

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Having had so many jobs in his life, Arthur has adapted to waking up in the early morning with ease.

· If he has to go somewhere, he’ll quietly tiptoe around the apartment as he gets ready, careful not wake you up as he gets dressed in his red suit and applies his makeup. He’ll place a gentle kiss to your temple just before he has to leave, staring adoringly at your peaceful face for a few minutes.

· If he has nothing planned, Arthur will just lay in bed until you wake up naturally, enjoying the feeling on your arm body pressed against him.

Ledger!Joker

· J is a drama queen. Being mostly nocturnal, J doesn’t even get out of his REM sleep cycle until like 3 pm at the earliest.

· On those days where he gets woken up at, god forbid, 9 am, he’ll be so groggy and grumpy that not even coffee can save him.

· Alarm wakes him up? That’s now enemy number one. Someone outside being loud? If he had the energy, they’d be dead. And don’t think you’re getting out of bed without him either. He’ll pull you back and wrap all his limbs around you like a snake, snuggling into you so you can’t leave.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur only really gets angry when someone attacks him or tries to make him feel worthless. As Joker, he’s definitely gained quite a bit of confidence, and will start a fight with strangers for the smallest of reasons, but they rarely actually make him angry.

· His patience in general is actually quite remarkable. Most of his schemes and plots take quite a while to plan out, and although he does rely on luck here and there, he puts in quite a few hours at a time to flesh out the details.

· He’ll wait as long as he needs to get what he wants. For example, it’s not like he shy’s away from stalking people, and that takes quite a bit of resilience and patience.

Ledger!Joker

· J is... an emotional man. An open book. He almost never gets angry at you- unless you do something stupid like put yourself in harms way- but everyone else? All it takes is very trivial inconveniences to get him riled up and ready to murder some poor soul on sight.

· He’ll be patient for a while if he needs to work on some elaborately villainous scheme, but after a few days of obsessing over the schematics he’ll start to get antsy and bored. He’s a man of action, who has the time for all this planning?

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur would do his very best to make dates and anniversaries special. Dinner from your favorite restaurant, long walks by the place you first met, movie nights under a warm fort with intermediate pillow fights; Arthur will always find something that will put a smile on your face.

· He may not have that much money to begin with, but after adapting into his joker persona, a little bit of petty theft is nothing too unacceptable. Especially since he can use the extra cash to treat his lover to the most lavish things.

Ledger!Joker

· J would absolutely spoil you. Unfortunately due to his “job”, he has to leave you for hours or even days at a time to do his business, and he knows you tend to feel lonely in those times. So for him, date night is about you. And he’ll be damned if you don’t get the best present, meal and clown in Gotham all to yourself.

· You want your favorite snack? He’ll get you a bucket-full.

· You want that new dress you saw at the mall, but can’t afford it? Neither can he! Join him for some late-night theft and he’ll grab the garment just for you.

· You want to spend the whole night tucked away in his arms as he cuddles you for hours? “Come to daddy~”

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Phoenix!Joker

· Arthur sometimes forgets to eat, a habit that scares you. You don’t mean to nag, but you just can’t help it when you see how thin and weak Arthur becomes after barely eating anything.

· You know he doesn’t do it on purpose, and you never hold it against him, but it does scare you when you see how weak and exhausted he gets. You make sure to always fill the cabinets with snacks and get him to eat dinner whenever he’s home, but who knows if he eats while he’s out causing panic in Gotham.

· The smoking is also a bit of an issue, but you’d rather make sure your clown is well fed before you tackle this other issue.

Ledger!Joker

· J’s teeth can be... very much a turnoff sometimes. Stained to hell with a coffee addiction and lack of hygiene, it made kissing him an experience at first.

· He soon began trying to make himself more dapper and charming just for his little one (yes you) once his need for you grew, but sometimes he just forgets. He knew his hygiene wasn’t his best quality, and he often smelled like dried blood and gasoline, so he makes sure to take a shower when he can. Plus, he figured quite quickly that you like the smell of his cologne…

· You can’t be too mad though, not with a smile so bright and yellow it matches the sun!

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Phoenix!Joker

· For Arthur, yes. When you finally admitted your feelings for him, he knew you were the first and last person who will ever give his life meaning. He would rip out his lungs if you asked- just if it meant seeing you another day.

· Leaving him would break his soul and put him in such a dark, black space that not even Joker’s red suit would have color there.

· It’s not the healthiest, and he doesn’t want to scare you away, but his obsession and need for you will never die down. He loves you, and you really do make him whole.

Ledger!Joker

· For J, his feelings aren’t that far off from Arthur’s. As his obsession with you grows, so does his adoration and glee. Everyday he finds new quirks and traits of yours that he likes, and everyday he begins to expect them, to crave them, to need them.

· He’ll find out what you like to do, what your favorite things are, what makes you truly and utterly happy, and he’ll store them in his memory to spoil you later.

· J’s love is absolutely obsessive and possessive, like a child with a doll he refuses to share even for a second, but that’s all he knows. He’ll never hurt you or lay his hands on you, but his love is nothing short of mad.

· Leaving him is not an option. Ever. He’ll do anything to ensure that you stay right in his line of sight, and putting you in a pretty glass cage is not beyond him. You make him happy, and whole- you complete him- so why would he ever throw that away?

#joker x reader #joker headcannons #ledger joker #Arthur fleck x reader #ledger joker x reader #TDK joker #my writing

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hawkins-high86 · 3 years

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Review: honestly idk y/n moves to new York and joins the avengers and falls in love with peter but something happens

Warning: language blood mentioned of death mentions of smut/smut/cheating ?bad writing I apologize 😳

My hometown was mystic falls I left there about when I was 17 because my parents split up so me and my dad and step mom moved to new York and I went to midtown high school and me and Peter because fast friends and we became I couple until he found out who I was my secret I was a vampire yes damon salvatore turned me into one I hated it but stefan teached me how to resist the temptation of the blood I didn't want to leave mystic falls I had elena bonnie caroline stefan I kinda had a crush on stefan but I left there stefan always updated me everyday if i wasn't busy on missions I knew Peter was spiderman because he told me and I believe him but I wasn't sure but he showed me his suit and I know that I didn't have any powers but tony stark said that I was super fast and strong enough to fight anyone but I didn't use vamp speed I usually compel them and afterwards like at midnight I usually followed them and feed on them sometimes I couldn't help it I was so hungry but after that one night everything changed I went back into my house and the house was on fire and my parents were dead inside the house tony stark enemy did this to my parents I was so upset I texted stefan he wanted to know if I wanted to move back to mystic falls I declined his offer I likes new York maybe I just needed time and stuff so no home but tony stark was kind enough for me to move in to his huge house that's were everyone lived together except for Peter parker he lived in queens, new York I was heart broken about how he found out about my secret I compel him to forget what he saw i didn't really trust him but, he was my boyfriend I broke up with him I told him we are better of as friends so he wouldn't get hurt so he understand and within a few months he was dating mj Jones my best friend i was kinda jealous of course call I had to call stefan about it he asked me if I could come to new York to check on me I said of course you can you can come as soon as possible "are you sure I don't want to interrupt anything"he replied just come over mr stark has enough room's in this house I will invite you in even I almost cried "don't be sad y/n I will come tomorrow" he said ok thanks stefan see you tomorrow love you I hunged up the phone I heard a Tap at my door um come in I said it was steve Rogers "I don't mean do interrupt anything but I heard you talking on the phone so is this stefan guy like you ex boyfriend?"he asked me what-no we are just friends very good friends and I can't believe that you were spying on me "I'm sorry but I don't want you to get hurt "he said steve I stood up I am not going to get stood up jeez he is just a friend I but my hand on his shoulder and smiled he is coming to new York tomorrow is that ok steve?I asked him

"Sure what's he like"he asked me

Um,I cleared my throat he is very nice and he has always been there for me when I needed him on my bad days and on my good days too I was so upset when we moved here but we promised each other that we would update each other what is happening and he cares about me a lot.

"Oh ok that's nice I will tell everyone else that he is coming over tomorrow he seems nice " steve said

Wait ,I need a favor you kinda have to invite him in the compound like you have to say it dont ask me questions about just do it or tony please steve ?I begged

"Um ok sure"he said he was kinda confused about this

Thanks Steve I said while he left the room I shut the bedroom door and locked it I grabbed the storage box under my bed it was filled with blood bags from the hospital i heard on the news that there were break ins from the hospital stealing stuff but I wasn't a ripper or anything sometimes I couldn't resist it peter texted me something.

(Hey y/n can I please come over? Mj broke up with me and I really could use a friend? )

(Of course sure come over also I got to tell you something anyways )

I put the phone on my desk hey Peter I'm a vampire and I feed on blood I said to myself sarcastically I'm so stupid I should just compel them all and get out of new York and go back to mystic falls I miss everyone there pack up and go wish it was that easy to do ugh! I layed down on my bed on a second blood bag than I heard a knock on my door I hid the blood bag under my pillow and sat up um come in I said it was Peter.

"How can mj do this I am so upset so broke my heart and it hurts " he said

Aw peter is so sorry I hugged him do you want some ice cream and watch movies or we can play video games he smiled at me

"You always know what to do y/n your the best friend ever" he said

I know I laughed stay here I will get the ice cream and some spoons ok I walked downstairs to get the ice cream and walked upstairs back to my room.

"Great I love chocolate " he said

Me to we can watch Netflix at the same time he plopped down on my bed thank God he didn't see the blood bag I sat down next to him I carefully removed the blood bag under my bed into the other one's after the movie he was cuddling with me.

"Can I tell you something y/n?"

Of course I looked up and held his hand well what is it?before I could say anything else he kissed me I was shocked wait I'm confused Peter stop.

"What I know this is really werid but I can't stop thinking about you are-" I cut him off

You can't be with me Peter I'm so sorry

"Why not what are you hiding? Come on you could tell me" he said

Well please don't freak out of shit you are probably going to freak out anyways he held my hand.

"Just tell me" he said

Forget it I started to kiss kiss him with passion i could hear his heart beating i was hungry stop peter I'm a vampire i said quietly embarrassed my face was red.

"Haha very funny you know I seen twilight and I'm not impressed by it" he said

Peter, you know how on the news that the people breaking in the hospital's? Well that is well me I stood up and tossed him a blood bag.

"Oh my God, your a killer you actually killed all those innocent people "he said

It's not like that Peter I Sw- before I could say anything else

"I never want to see you again "he said walking out of my room no wait I yelled but it was to late I started to cry I didn't want to tell him but I just had to still upset I grabbed my phone and dialed stefan number it was ringing come on come on please pick up.

"Hello" he said

Stefan it's me can you possibly come here sooner please I will tell you everything once you get here please I need you.

"Of course right on it heading out right now " he said

I smiled thanks your the best love you I end this call and brush my teeth are got into something more comfortable and went to bed.

...next day.....

I woke up I wanted to turn my humans off but the last time wasn't very pretty I got dressed and brush my teeth and hair than I heard a tap on my window it was peter ,what do you want Peter? I asked him.

"So I did a little research about you ,you know and I understand if you don't want to be with me or you want to kill me but I love you y/n and I know we have been going almost out for a year and we have been sneaking around the avengers because mr stark is like your father to you " I cut him off it's ok just promise that you won't tell anyone? I asked him nicely you have to swear it .

"Ugh fine I swear I won't tell anyone else "he said

Thank you so you don't hate me anymore, you don't think I'm a monster or a killer ?I asked him raising a eyebrow at him what is it ?

"Can I ask you something about it you know about being a vampire and stuff ?" He said

Sure I said

"So I have been doing research and how come you dont burn in the sunlight and who turned you and how old are you and stuff like that" he said

Oh well i wasn't a vampire my hole life let's just say I'm 17 almost 18 and damon salvatore turned me into a vampire and I dont burn in the sunlight well..I held up my hand see this ring that I always where well it basically protects me from the sunlight so I won't burn anymore questions about me I asked him.

"Who's damon salvatore where you his friend or something and he got mad at you " he asked me

No well I held his hand I can't believe I'm actually telling someone else this besides stefan salvatore ok so I was depressed and and my friends stefan house and I got some bourbon and I asked Stefan's brother if he wanted to join me and he said yes and well one think lead to another and he bit me and well here we are I smiled at him.

"Shit I'm sorry about that does your dad I mean mr stark know about it or steve Rogers you uncle steve I should say "

Nope not a soul well except for stefan and damon and all my other friends in mystic falls.

"Oh ok I noticed that she looked very cute when here hair wasn't up in a ponytail so I leaned to kiss her I put my hands around her cheeks and leaned into her closer I love you y/n so much and are eyes met and she smiled at me"

"Are lips were still connected with each other I didn't want to stop I slowly threw her on her bed and she was staring back at me before things could get werid she kissed me back I slid closer to her she was on my lap now I started to kiss her down her neck I'm sorry I stopped kissing her is this to much? I asked her.

No,its fine please continue I said to him.

"I smiled at her ok if you say so I started to kiss her neck again my fingers touched her cheeks and she laughed is it ok if I could take my shirt- before I could say anything else she ripped my shirt off sorry us vampire's can get a little turned on she said "it's fine unless you want me to stop "no don't stop ok I held her hand ok she began to feel my chest "wow who knew that spiderman had abs she smiled at me oh shut up she said I started to unbuttoned her blouse she nodded for my approval "wait this is my first time and I want it to be special "she said.

We can stop if you want me to or I could go easy on you "well I love you peter so go ahead I trust you "she said great I thew her blouse across the room and she slightly laughed at me now all I could see her black bra let me unhook it if that's ok with you "aw always and gentlemen "she laughed she nodded again for my approval I unhook the back and let my bra fall down to the ground so beautiful baby I kissed her chest "take your pants off now"she said oh um ok I took my pants off and I took her skirt off and saw her pink lace underwear so beautiful baby I could tell that you are wet already I started to kiss her hips and thighs before I came do anything else I heard a knock on her bedroom door "shit" she whispered to me "be right out " she said we got dressed quickly.

Y/n pov

"I'm scared who is it ?is it mr stark oh no he will kill me " he said shhh no peter I don't know yet let's just pretend nothing happened ok I opened the door "well isn't y/n" he said stefan salvatore I said I hugged him so glad that your hear missed you a lot oh this is peter ,peter ,stefan ,stefan,peter "hi nice to meet you " he said I noticed something behind stefan I used my vamp speed and it was damon salvatore I pinned him against the wall what do you think that your doing here? I asked him "well nice to see you to "he said I smiled at him and hugged him nice to see you my fellow bourbon buddy he smiled at me again I saw peter walking towards us "what the hell " he yelled at him what's wrong peter? I asked him "this is the guy that had sex with you and turned you into a vampire "he said my face got super red no we didn't have sex I didn't say that all I said we were drunk and started to kiss we never had sex before we are just friends ok and I forgave him so please chill out peter.

"Ok"he said how did you get in I mean how did damon salvatore get in he usually has to compel someone or kill them I smirked "haha very funny y/n"he he said I know I'm hilarious I smiled at him um peter can you go downstairs for a minute with damon don't worry he isn't going to bite he is actually really nice once you get to know him I smiled at them "sure anything for you y/n"peter said hi stefan I faced him so how would you like to spend your time in new York? I ask him before I could say anything else he gave me some blood bags oh my God thank you I was running out of them "no problem I don't mean to be werid or anything but...were you and peter just doing it?"he asked me what no! "Y/n!" Fine we were untill you came in with damon. "How long have you been dating peter "he asked me about 6-7 months "oh ok listen the real reason I said yes about coming to new York is to get you back to mystic falls before you say no or anything else elena and damon and Bonnie and caroline are in danger from the original family " wow um sure I went downstairs and I saw Peter and damon and tony and Steve and bucky

."don't worry I didn't tell anyone except for Steve and tony."

Peter you did not tell them please tell me you did not.

."so is this supposed to be like a twilight movie."buck said

I used my vamp speed to pin him against the wall and let him go

."so vampires do exist?,"

Yes,I smiled peter didn't seem to happy about me and stefan was he jealous? I asked myself me and stefan are just friends I was going to confess that I had feelings for him but than I moved and I met Peter I cleared my throat guy's this is stefan salvatore he is a very close friend of mine

".what's he doing here?."

Tony he is just visiting right stefan ?I asked him

."yes and no you need to kinda need to come back to mystic falls." He said

Wait why please tell me damon didn't do anything stupid again I smiled at him

."this is serious y/n remember I told you about the original family ?and the cure well we finally found it 3 bottles of it and I know that you don't really like being a vampire so I saved it for you ."

Are you serious wow okay maybe for a few days won't hurt what does that have to do with the mikaelsons? I asked him

."well they invited you to the mikaelson ball I know it's kinda short notice but can you make it ".he said

Sure let me see if I have any fancy clothes in my closet I said.

."can I um come with you y/n". Peter said

Peter that's very sweet of you but um mystic falls isn't the safest place in the world I'm sorry I don't want to put you in danger I put my hand on his cheek I promise I will be back soon I went upstairs found the dress that I was going to wear to the ball and pack some extra clothes and makeup stuff like that I will be back as soon as I can sorry I grabbed my bag and headed out of the building driving to mystic falls with stefan salvatore do you think he will actually forgive me? He called me a monster and a killer and he apologized and now he understands it I'm so confused ugh how I can I be this stupid

."hey stop don't beat yourself up about it just focus on taking the cure so you can have a healthy normal relationship with him."

Thanks I smiled you know what to say I don't know if I would survive without you stefan really I held his hand

."thanks have you met the mikkelson? I don't remember."

Only, klaus and Rebekah and Elijah oh no don't tell me there are more of them I laughed

."you didn't met esther and kol the other brother they want the cure too ."

But ,I want it I know that sounds so rude but I deserve it want to grow old and have kids

."hey don't worry we will get it I swear."

Thanks, I closed my eyes for a nap but it seemed like a lifetime for me

"Hey we are here y/n"

I jumped up oh wow it's good to be back in mystic falls

"Nothing changed her y/n"

Oh well ok I went inside the house and I put my bags in my guest room took a shower put on some light makeup and put on some perfume and jewelry and my dress was kinda nervous about this hole mikaelson ball thing didn't have a date wish Peter was here with me but he wouldn't be safe here anyways I put on my dress. Light blue dress with lace fabric but on some blue hight heels and walked downstairs stefan salvatore oh my you look handsome

"Y/n you look so pretty damon and elena are already there "

Oh ok I took his hand and we headed out it was a big house I don't really remember it it's been a long time I saw Rebekah klaus and Elijah and a other one that I didn't recognize that has to kol mikaelson ! Everyone was chatting.

"Hi I'm kol mikaelson nice to meet you "

He kissed my hand oh I'm y/n nice to meet you to I smiled at him everyone started to slow dance kol do you want to be my partner for the dance ?

"Sure "

He put his hands on my waist and I put my hands around his neck and started to dance he had brown eyes and dark hair he seemed mysterious in a way I know this is werid to bring up but do you know about the cure or I'm just going crazy

"Who told you about the cure?"

Damon salvatore why? I asked him

"There is only three and damon want to give it to elena why do you trust him ?"

Oh elena Gilbert? I trust damon I know hard to believe but I do or I thought I did so I came back to mystic falls for no reason ugh wish I was back in new York with Peter eating junk food and watching star wars after a few hours tons of songs the ball was over Rebekah approached me.

"Hey do you want to come over to our house tonight free drinks our on me "

I smiled at Rebekah how could I say no to free drinks yes totally let's go she took my hand and took me to the kitchen wow this is your kitchen its so nice.

"Thanks y/n/n/ "

What do you have any vodka or bourbon? I asked her

"Y/n I knew you for a half of a century your a bourbon girl"

Yes ,I smiled she handed me a glass one drink became two became three and things started to get fizzy I better stop Rebekah don't feel so good I ran into the bathroom and puked oh shit I knew I should drink that much

"Y/n are you ok?"

I stood up not really Hey can I spend the night here and have a sleepover and help me with my hangover?

"Of course you can I will get you some comfy pajamas and some painkillers and some mint tea "

Thanks beck I appreciate it waiting for Rebekah I took the painkillers and the tea

"How are you feeling y/n?"

A little bit better I rubbed my shoulders put my dress in Rebekah closet.

"Um well it's getting late I need my rest "

Oh I cleared my throat same here I laid down on the mattress on the floor next to her bed she turned on the light and I went fast asleep it was a werid dream this one was peter and kol together fighting over me I gasped for air and woke up shit! I woke up it was 3am you have got to be kidding me I stood up I was really thirsty for a blood bag this would happen often it wasn't unusual went downstairs and went into the refrigerator and got a blood bag a-postive my favorite I closed the door and saw some figure standing there hello? I turned on the lights it was kol mikaelson the one I was dancing with what are you doing?

"I couldn't sleep what about you? "

Um er same here I said I should get to bed soon goodnight kol

"Wait "

Huh ,what ?I asked him

"It's nothing don't worry about it "

Oh ok before I could go back upstairs and corned me to the kitchen wall we were starting at each other for a while his big brown eyes were stunning he kissed me and my heart was beating so fast he turned away.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that it was really stu-"

You kissed him back with passion wrapped my legs around his waist I took his shirt off digging my nails into his skin licking and kissing over his abs for a bit wow your so strong

"Darling I'm an a original"

Yea but your so fucking sexy I got my hands around his belt buckle we don't have to do this if that makes sense.

"We could do it"

Oh you sure?I asked him

"Yes I'm sure but may I try something if you don't mind me"

No go ahead I trust you I know that I met you today but it feels strange you just caught my eye and heart he laughed

"Your so cute and beautiful "

Thanks your handsome man yourself

"Can I try it now?"

Sure I trust you kol before i could say anything else he started to kiss my neck and i heard a ripping sound my pajamas i covered my chest

"Don't worry darling is there something wrong? "

No ,I laugh I got to tell you something but don't-he cut me off

"What?"

Don't judge me but I- I am a virgin ok let's face it I never got all the way was saving myself for someone special and I think that special someone is you -i know it's crazy but fuck ! I started to kiss his abs and I let go of my hands from my breasts-he looked at me and smile at me what do look funny?

"No they are amazing"

He started to kiss the top of my breasts I moaned than He was kissing down your tummy, smiling up at you as he starts fumbling with the button of your shorts

“May I?” He asked. I smiled and nodded.

“Hm, I can smell you. So wet and needy for me, huh?” He mumbled. I nodded as his lips got closer to my pussy He ripped off my panties, the cold air hitting my skin in an instant. I heard kol groan as he looked over my naked body. He looked back into my eyes, reaching up to kiss my lips.

Kol then stood up and began to unbuckle his belt and my eyes widened. I sat up immediately.

#stefans wife #kol mikaelson smut #kol mikaelson #the originals

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dameronology · 4 years

Text

the one with the intergalactic babysitter (mando x reader)

summary: you’re a little lost in life - you moved to coruscant to become a writer, but working two jobs to make ends meet has made you dismayed. one babysitting gig with a mandalorian and his weird green kid might change everything.

this is my first mando piece!! it might be the first part of a series or it might be a stand alone - if you want to see more, i’m definitely down to see what else my brain spews up

enjoy,

- val xx

Coruscant was a very fucking expensive place to live.

It was understandable, seeing as it was the political and cultural hub of the galaxy - the kind of place that Frank Sinatra might write songs about titled Coruscant, Coruscant - but maker, it felt like they were charging you simply to exist in the city. Perhaps if you’d had a career, or a solid job that didn’t require chasing around after rude patrons and yelling at middle-aged women for severely under tipping. Being a waitress simply wasn’t enough to make ends meet. You’d originally moved to the capital to make it as a writer - a statement you would come to learn would age like milk on a hot July day.

So, you turned to babysitting too; you already spent your day dealing with sticky-handed children and tuning out their incessant screaming. The extra credits wouldn’t hurt and it was something to do that didn’t involve sitting within the four walls of your tiny, concrete apartment.

The first few weeks were a bit sow, usually tending to the spoilt of children of rich, inner city politicians. They were easy jobs; the kids were easily entertained by a holomovie and their parents usually left enough money to order take away food for them. You simply had to sit and watch them; making sure they didn’t choke and that they were in bed on time. Simple.

One slow Monday - the kind were the hours dragged and there was a sort of grey cloud of gloom hanging over the skyscrapers - you got a call. Initially, it was supposed to be your night off to work on your debut novel. The first thing on your to-do list was to come up with an idea for said novel but as it usually went with writers, you found it easier to find excuses than to get on with the thing you claimed was your livelihood.

‘Hello?’ You were halfway through the door of your apartment, your commslink in one hand as you tossed your apron onto the kitchen counter.

‘Is this...Y/N?’

‘Maybe.’ You thinned your eyes. ‘Who’s asking?’

‘A potential client.’ It sounded as though the caller was covering their mouth. ‘Are your services exclusive to human children?’

‘Not at all. I had a Twi’lek kid last week.’ You replied. ‘What kinda kid are we talking?’

‘I’m not entirely sure.’

‘You don’t know what species your own kid is?’

‘He’s adopted?’ The voice came back, a little unsure. ‘Look, it’s a long story but I’ve had an emergency at work and I need someone to keep an eye on him for a few hours. I’ll pay double.’

That was how you ended up rushing out again, plans for the night completely disregarded in lieu of money . Admittedly, you were a little unsure because a) the address he had given you was in an air hangar and b) you were half-expecting to turn up and find that the child was a demon. But the guy was paying double and you needed to make rent - and you were like eighty percent sure he probably wasn’t going to kill you.

When you got to Air Hangar 64 - a jet parking spot right in the middle of downtown Coruscant - you almost turned around, thinking you’d got the wrong address. A man in Mandalorian armour (one hell of a man, it should be added) was standing outside of a jet, a bundle of robes in his arms. He was tapping his foot on the ground, the bright lights of the city around you illuminating against the beskar of his suit.

‘Y/N?’ You hadn’t even noticed that he’d spotted you, given the whole face apparatus situation. The voice, however, matched the one from the phone.

‘Right. Hi.’ You cautiously approached him. ‘I didn’t catch your name on the phone.’

‘Mando.’ He replied.

‘Mando the Mandalorian?’ You quirked a brow at him. ‘Or is it short for Mandalorian?’

‘Up to you.’ His words were blunt.

It was then that you noticed the bundle in his arms was actually moving, a tiny and clawed green hand reaching up. It wriggled slightly and you tried - you really tried - to hide the look of horror on your face.

‘That's the thing I’m babysitting?’

‘He’s the thing you're babysitting.’ Mando replied. ‘His face is much better than his hands.’

He handed you the bundle - and you noted that the shiny guy had been right. The little face staring back at you, with its wide eyes, brown eyes and hilariously oversized ears, was certainly much cuter than a human baby. He wrapped his tiny hand around your finger, letting out a tiny giggle.

‘Is that why you wear the helmet?’ You asked. ‘Cos you’re green and wrinkly too?’

You couldn’t see the Mandalorian’s face, but you could tell from the way that he tilted his head to the side that he wasn’t amused by your statement. Tough crowd.

‘I’ll only be gone a few hours.’ He said. ‘I appreciate you doing this.’

‘And I appreciate you paying double.’ You shot back.

‘There’s food for him on the ship - some freeze dried frogs and some bantha milk.’

‘I’m sorry, did you just say freeze dried frogs and-’

‘- I’d appreciate it if you stayed out the hull of the ship.’ Mando continued, ignoring your question. ‘Just stick to the cockpit.’

‘Right.’ You forced a smile, inwardly reminding yourself of the double payment. ‘And do you have a rough ETA?’

‘Sometime between now and tomorrow morning.’

‘No need to be precise, I suppose.’ You muttered under your breath. ‘Well, have fun doing whatever is that you do...Mando.’

He didn’t mean to come across as icy and rude. It was just that he rarely ever interacted with anybody else - the Child was hardly chatty and he usually knocked his cargo out before they could get a word in. Still, the Mandalorian smiled slightly to himself at the use of his name. He wouldn’t usually trust a single soul in the galaxy to be alone with his kid on his ship, but he didn’t have much choice. You didn’t seem like the sort of person who would steal it - in fact, he got the impression you probably couldn’t fly it at all.

Just like that, you were alone with the weird, Kermit-looking child. The first hour was slow; painfully so, in fact. All you could do was sit in the pilot’s chair, spinning around aimlessly in circles as the kid napped. The pile of dead, freeze-dried frogs stacked atop the dashboard was a little unnerving, but not any less unnerving than the six-foot-tall, armour-clad man to whom they belonged.

By the third hour, you were beginning to wish the kid was still asleep. You quickly learnt that he enjoyed waddling about and pressing random buttons; he was particularly drawn to the bright red one next to your seat. You were no expert, but you’d seen enough holocartoons growing up to know what an ejector seat was.

‘Oh no, let’s leave the blaster alone.’ You jumped out your chair, quickly picking up the Child. You held him up in the air, eyes meeting for a moment - then he burst into tears. ‘Hey, it’s okay! It’s better to play with safe things, like this mildly disturbing freeze dried-’

- The kid ripped his food from your hand before you could finish the sentence, shoving the creature into his slobbery mouth with an ostentatiousness that was impressive and disturbing in equal measures.

Watching him guzzle down the bantha milk was a similar experience; half of it ended up down his robes, the other half splattering to the floor. It could have been worse. He could have spilled it all over the controls or down the seat. Heck, he could have poured it over your head.

By the time the Mandalorian came back, both you and the Child were passed out. So much so, in fact, that you didn’t hear him enter the ship. You were snoring quietly in the pilot’s seat, leg stretched out to the other chair. The little green rat was snoozing on your chest, one of your hands resting over his back. There was blue milk all down your shirt and a frog’s leg stuck to the windscreen.

He gently leant forward to pick his kid up, placing him back in his floating crib. You began to stir when you felt the warmth move from your chest, your brain mentally registering the sudden absence of the creature.

‘Hey, Mando the Mandalorian.’ You sat up, rubbing your eyes. As you did, the frog that had been plastered to the windscreen fell, bouncing off of his helmet. Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to stifle the laugh that was about to come out. ‘I am so sorry about the mess-’

‘- don’t be.’ He cut you off, sticking out his gloved hand to help you up. ‘He’s a messy kid.’

You weren’t sure how you could tell, but something about him seemed much more docile than your previous, brief encounter. His tone was a little warmer - or was it more tired? It was hard to tell with the helmet.

Your best guess was that whatever work-related task he’d run out to had really taken it out of him. His shoulders were a little slumped, words tinged with exasperation. Coming home to find his ship covered in frogs and blue milk was probably only salt in the wound.

‘I’ll clean it up.’ You offered.

‘No, it’s fine.’ Mando shook his head, releasing his grip on your hand.

‘You’re tired.’ You said. ‘I mean...I think you’re tired. It’s hard to tell with that metal thing covering your face but I’m getting some exhausted dad vibes from you and I did make the mess after all.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Certain.’ You rubbed your eyes. ‘We spent most of the time you were out napping so I’m well-rested anyways.’

After pointing you in the direction of a tiny closet towards the back of the cock-pit, you gathered what appeared to be an ages-old mop and a bottle of unidentified cleaning liquid. Cleaning up spilled and splattered food was simply part of your day job and it didn’t take you long to reassemble the place. You mopped the floor, prying the occasional frog leg or arm from the ship’s windscreen and controls.

Mando watched as you did, eyes following you as you darted around. You couldn’t see him staring at you but you could certainly feel it. Glancing up from the floor, you paused your cleaning to hold his gaze, letting the mop fall against the wall.

‘So, what do you do?’ You asked.

Helmet tilt.

‘I mean, for like a job.’ You continued. ‘You live on a ship and you have a weird kid - he’s lovely, don’t get me wrong - but he’s fucking weird. Doesn’t he have a mum or something? Or another dad?’

‘I’m a bounty hunter.’ Mando replied. ‘And no.’

Did you always talk this much? Or was it just his wordless responses that made it feel like you were having a conversation with yourself? You could have sworn that most conversations didn’t take this much effort.

‘Bounty hunter, huh?’ You raised your eyebrow. ‘I don’t suppose that finding an individual in these Coruscanti crowds is very easy - sorry. I also don’t suppose that you want my running commentary-’

‘- no, I like it.’ His words took you by surprise. ‘I don’t come across many chatty people.’

There was something about you that he liked - you were bright, sparky. The complete opposite of every antisocial criminal and cantina-dweller that he’d ever come across. He was tired beyond words but your voice was soothing.

‘Yeah, the kid isn’t much of a conversationalist.’ You replied. ‘Where did you find him?’

‘He had a bounty on his head.’ Mando replied. ‘The people that wanted him were bad.’

‘So you ran away with him?’ You dropped the mop, taking a seat in the chair beside him. ‘And just called him your own?’

‘Not at first, but there are a lot of people after him.’

‘Oh yeah. I’m sure that tiny green thing is the galaxy’s most wanted criminal.’ You scoffed.

‘What do you do?’ His helmet tilted again, this time out of curiosity. He got the vibe that you probably weren’t a full-time babysitter. You’d looked after his kid well enough but you didn’t seem like the sort of person who would voluntarily spend all their time with children. You swore too much for that.

‘I’m trying to be a writer.’ You explained.

That made sense, Mando thought, you certainly had plenty to say.

‘Trying?’

‘Let’s just say that there isn’t a whole lot of writing happening.’ You replied. ‘You know, life gets in the way. I babysit and waitress to make ends meet but that leaves little time for getting shit done. I’m hopeful, though.’

Mando was almost bewildered by you at that point: you were the opposite of him in every way. You spoke about anything & everything, you’d anchored yourself to this city and you were trying to achieve a dream - an uncertain dream. He was the one that travelled the galaxy but somehow, you seemed to be more free. You had the sort of energy and optimism that felt like a stranger to him. Your presence alone against the cold, metal walls of his ship felt like a warm hug.

‘Is it lack of inspiration?’ He asked.

‘Maybe.’ You replied. ‘I thought Coruscant would help with that but it’s actually pretty fucking sad here. I can’t travel though, not when I’m working two jobs just so I can afford to live, let alone go on kriffing vacation.’

‘Right.’ He nodded. ‘I’m heading out tomorrow morning.’

You furrowed your brow. ‘Yeah. Where to?’

‘I have no idea.’ He replied. ‘But I need someone to watch the kid and you need to travel.’

‘Sure.’ You snorted. ‘I’ll just...I’ll just up and leave my whole life here behind to drop everything and travel the galaxy with a random man and his weird frog baby whilst I search for inspiration and - oh.’

‘What?’

‘That sounds like one hell of a story.’

#mandalorian x reader #mandalorian imagines #mando x reader #mando imagine #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars fanfic

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horrorslashergirl · 4 years

Text

Desperate Measures

A Richard Firewood Fic.

Authors Note: Richards.... First time. Every murder story starts from somewhere.

This couldn’t be good, not by how the black haired man was gripping his once perfect styled hair in his hands, bags under his eyes that made him look almost sick.

The bills upon bills notes on the big dark mahogony desk were the main reason for Richards current mood; lack of sleep, drinking and the full ashtray were obviously visible.

Ever since he recieved the letter from his grandfather about inveriting the intimidating and luxurious hotel, and of course saying 'bye, bye' to his dream of being a famous surgeon, his temper started to be on thin ice. Its been just two years since he started to lead the hotel and things have been going down ever since. The debts, the pressure; Richard was used to it, but in these two years he couldn't deny that he started to feed on the luxury: a floor at the very top of the hotel, all his, finest food and drinks, expensive clothes that costed maybe thousand upon thousand of dollars.

He basked in being rich!

Like hell, will he go back to living in a cardboard apartament and working two jobs to sustain in just paying the rent. He was done feeling like the worst. His green eyes were full of hate and rage; then just like that he got up and threw the crystal glass of whiskey right into the wall, glass shattering.

In not even 10 seconds, Martha, one of the oldest maids came in, preparing to clean up the mess, not even glancing at the huffing, red faced man.

"Master Firewood... Dinner will be served in half an hour." she annouced, finally looking at the raven haired man.

"Fuck dinner..... We have problems.... Financial problems." Richard said, through gritted teeth, trying to control his temper.

To think that when he started medical college, he was a shy and scrawny guy Who couldn’t be noticed. Now the 6'5 impossing figure with defined muscels and an attitude to match was like a volcano, maybe all these sleepless years of studing medicine, fucked up his brain.

"Leave." Richards authoritive voice boomed and Martha knew better than to try to reason with him at this point, so she left, only to come after one hour.

"Master Firewood.... There is someone that wants to talk to you." She spoke from the entry of his office and Richard only told her to let said person enter.

In came an old man, all dressed in an impecable black suit with a dark coat. He was probably in his 80 from how slowly he walked and sat down in one of the armchairs in front of the desk. He looked like he knew the place, seeming all comfortable.

"Hello Richard. Its good to finally meet you." the old man spoke, making Richard raise an eyebrow.

"And you are?" he asked, his tone all but rude. He wasn't in the mood for chit chatting.

"Oh, pardon me! I am Alfred William. A pleasure to finally meet the nephew of my deceased friend." Alfred spoke, catching Richards attention.

"You knew my grandfather?" The younger male asked.

"Yes, yes indeed! We were golf partners and got on many adventures in young times, until I settled down with my wife. He was such a workaholic and very smart.... I remember when-" But he was cut off by Richard.

"Get to the point." Alfred chuckled at Richards cold tone.

"Ahh... He told me before he died that you were straight to the point. The reason I am here its because of your problems.... Financial problems." That caught Richards attention and he was all ears.

"I may have an answer to your stack of bills." The old man motioned to all the bills on the desk.

"I am old indeed... And my wide just passed away three months ago. I feel so lonely without her. All I have are my children and nephews.....but my health isn't so bright as in the good ol' days." Alfred told Richard with a sad sigh.

"Your point?"

"I have so much money, but I don't know what to do with it. At my age money cannot bring me happiness and I would love nothing more than to enjoy my nephews as much as I can. They are so cute."

Richard was starting to lose his patience and the older man noticed.

"To put it simply I need a kidney and liver transplant. I will pay all your bills and debts. You may wonder why? Simple. I know how much your grandfather put his soul into this hotel and I would hate to see everything crumble down."

Richard was curious where this was going.

"Get me a healthy kidney and liver and we got ourself a deal." Alfred finally spoke, making Richards eyes widen.

"Like steal? You know this isn't like stealing a diamond or a purse from an old lady, old geezer." Richard said, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Alfred just chuckled and stood up.

"Think about the offer." with that he left the black haired man alone in his office.

Later that day, Richard was standing outside the hotel, at the entrace, smoking a cigarette and debating over the offer.

The old man was nuts, but the offer was tempting and Richard wondered how he could do it.

'A kidney and a liver? He must be talking nonsense.' he thought and was ready to go back inside after finishing his smoke, when someone bumped into him.

"I-I am so sorry.... I am such a klutz. I should be looking where I am going." a gentle voice spoke, and green eyes meet hazel ones.

It was a young woman, no older than 25, a pink blush on her cheeks as she looked at him, excusing herself.

Richard wanted to tell her rudely to watch where she was walking, despite her polițe excuse. He just wasn't in the mood.

Then it was like something striked him.

'You know, Richy man? All the women are looking at you. I bet they will crawl over the place you walk like a God.'

That's what one of his friends from college told him one time they were out drinking.

"Wait! I should be the one apologizing." Richards deep voice spoke, making the young female stop and look at him with wide eyes.

"How about I make it up to you? I invite you for a drink. A form of saying sorry to such a beautiful girl." he spoke in a suave voice, giving her a lop sided smile.

"S-Sure... I would love to." the girl spoke in a shy voice, biting on her lower lip.

Richard smirked inside.

'Jack pot.'

Later at night, they went off for drinks at the bar of the hotel, laughing and joking, basically just talking. The girl was already tipsy and she just drunk two glasses of wine.

"Y-You are so handsome...." the girl slurred, as Richard lead her through the hallways of the hotel, then he pulled out a syringe, piercing the need le in her neck and she fell into his arms.

She indeed woke up, but she was strapped onto a metal table, imobolized and without escape. Her hazel eyes widened when she noticed Richard at the end of the surgical table, next to him another smaller one filled with medical tools.

"What are you doing? H-Help!" That's when the screaming began, but not like anyone could hear her. They were deep down into The basement of the hotel.

Richard put on a pair of nitril gloves, the girl already naked. He took a scalpel and looked at her nervously. Its been so long since he'd done this and all the practice he had done so far in medical school was on dead bodies.

"W-Why?" The girl asked and Richard wondered.

"Why? Nothing personal, darling..... I call this survival. As much as I would have loved to get you between the sheets, money makes the world go around." he spoke, looking at the scalpel and began to work.

He started by cutting up the first layer of skin, the girls screams and tears continuing to follow. Next was the muscels, pulling them carefully apart. He had to be precise or else the organs wouldn't be of any use.

After three hours of cutting, slicing and digging, he finally got the wanted organs out, putting them in special boxes to stay fresh.

He was proud of his work, the girl was still alive but pretty much dizzy and pale.

"P-Please.... God..." she was still speaking, he had to give her credit for being so strong.

"I-I hope you burn in hell..." the girl finally spoke looking deeply into The emerald eyes.

Richard snarled and without realizing he piercing the scalpel right into her left eye, then pulled out.

Oh, she screamed indeed... All bloody murder.

Then, he pushed two of his fingers in her eyesocket, digging and making her scream more.

He smirked darkly, then finally he sliced her neck, blood pouring out of her and down the metal table onto the cold concrete.

------------

"Ahhh... Such a good work. It was a pleasure doing business with you, Richard." the old man spoke, as two tall men clad in black, took the two boxes that contained the desired organs.

"The money has been delievered into the bank account." Alfred spoke and Richard nodded, looking down.

Before the old man could leave, he stopped.

"I have many friends and relations who would be very much interested into your.... Services." Alfred spoke in an voice that could send shivers down anyones spine, but not to Richard.

"Looking forward to it." the black haired man, spoke, a twisted smirk on his face.

"Atta' boy......Have a nice day!" Alfreds cheerfull voice spoke, saluting Richard and getting into the back limousine, taking off.

Well.... This was a start of a very promising business.

#Richard Firewood #Slasher OC #Alfred William #Horror story #Murder story #Horror characters

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winchester90210 · 4 years

Text

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x20: Spring Training.

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

Chapter Summary: Alongside Brandon, you take a dive into the world of little league.

Word count: 2,000

Warnings: Swearing, brief mention of violence. Also... I know nothing about baseball.

A/N: Hi everyone! Hope you enjoy this week’s episode! Took an extra week off to focus on my mental health and am feeling much better with everything now. I hope you guys are as excited as the next chapter as I am! It’s almost time for the spring dance :)

My work is to not be reposted/republished, and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is great and encouraged!!)

Feedback is very appreciated and encouraged!! :)

"With my dad laid up, we need all the help we can get. We’re practicing today if either of you want to join in on the festivities," Brandon persuades the two of you as you round the corner of the Peach Pit to sit at your usual booth. The familiar scent of pie crust and burgers fills the air, instantly putting your soul at ease.

"Thanks… but no thanks, slim," Dylan rejects him, sliding into the seat opposite of you while Brandon follows suit.

"Dylan, I thought you were a total baseball freak!" You tell him.

"I am, but listening to these parents berate their kids from the sidelines all day long," he shakes his head, cringing, "Brings back a whole slew of bad memories."

"But it shouldn't be about the parents!" Brandon protests, "It should be about being on a team, learning fundamentals, having a good time!"

"That's very noble, Brandon. But when I was playing? It was about winning at any cost necessary.” Dylan argues. Brandon sighs in defeat, looking to you.

"What about you, Y/N/N?"

"Not a chance,” you laugh.

"What? Why not?"

"Brandon… me and 20 kids, in an extremely competitive state? Did you learn nothing from the summer of '85?" You jest. Brandon chuckles at your extreme rejection, sliding a laminated menu your way.

"Wait… what happened in '85?" Dylan's eyes flicker cluelessly between the two of you, awaiting an explanation.

"Look, it was no big deal. Things got a little heated during one of Eric's little league games," you shrug dismissively, flipping through the Peach Pit's menu as if you didn't get the same thing every time.

"She beat up a nine-year-old,” Brandon quips.

“I didn’t beat up a—“ you pause, taking in a breath. “To put it simply I… put a kid back in his rightful place. He was picking on my brother, nothing happened that he didn't deserve."

“What’d you do, tackle him out on the field?” Dylan lifts his eyebrows, amused smile on his face.

“No, of course not!” You duck your head back into your menu, mumbling, “I went out there and hit him in the groin with his bat.”

The kids run out into the field, taking their positions with their needed equipment in hand. You lean back onto the warm metal fence, slipping a pair of sunglasses over your eyes to get a better look at Nat’s team. Without the glaring sun in your eyes.

“This is pathetic!” A young boy, adorned in a bright yellow Dukes uniform comes hurdling out from behind the fence to join Brandon and Steve. “They’re not even wearing uniforms!”

“So what?” Brandon shrugs, voice hardened, “It’s a practice game.” Steve leans into Brandon to whisper something to him, but since he lacks the levels of common decency that most people acquire by the age of five, he talks loud enough for the whole team to hear.

“They don’t look so good, Brandon.”

“It’s okay. They came to play, that’s the important thing.” Man… sometimes Brandon felt too good to be true. You’re convinced there has to be a catch at this point. Gorgeous, smart, great with kids. What’s next? He opens up an animal sanctuary for underprivileged strays? Buys a soup kitchen? “Listen up, you guys. The way you treat your competition is a direct comment on how you play the game. Good sportsmanship counts big time with me and my old man…” as he continues to ramble on, your thoughts begin to shift elsewhere. Like how good he looks. It’s purely criminal for anyone to look so hot in yellow. It’s an inherently unattractive color. Yet, there he is—coaching children in the blazing heat, instilling them with good sportsmanship, and all you want to do is to get him to yourself. That bastard. You shake it off, chalking it up to teenage hormones, and try to focus on the game.

“Hey doofus! You really eat toads!” The same kid whining about uniforms earlier is now directing all of his pent up privilege and ten-year-old angst towards the poor, sweet, small child from Nat's team, the Pitts, further solidifying your desire to never procreate.

“You’ll throw it better next time, Manny!” Nat encourages the little boy wholeheartedly, clapping for him as loudly as he can.

“Hey Corey! Throw it to the doofus, he’s a real toad!” Does this kid only know two insults? The smaller brunette, the less athletically gifted child hangs his head, kicking sand around the base plate in frustration. Brandon takes note of it, immediately bounding out into the middle of the game.

“Time out! Crawford, get in the game for Noah!” His voice is stern, and as he approaches the boy he’s in total coach mode. It’s kinda hot... Well, it’s not your fault baseball’s boring. Gotta keep yourself entertained somehow.

Steve stops Randy Crawford from going out from the fence with the back of his hand, and going after Brandon himself, sand slipping from under his shoes. You can’t hear what they're saying but you know it’s not the happiest conversation. Knowing them, you know exactly how this is playing out. You don’t even need to hear them. You can see Steve furrow his brows from the sidelines, and Brandon’s gesticulating with his hands wildly as they talk but can’t make out any words that are flying from their mouths. Brandon, the moral center of Los Angeles wants Noah out for being a little jerk. Steve, being Steve, would probably rather keep the better player in than save the self esteem of a little boy before it’s too late and it no longer exists. It’s not long until Brandon pats Steve hard on the shoulder, storming off the field in a blur of sand and sweat.

Well, that’s your cue to leave, isn't it? You go to follow Brandon out, but Steve stops you short.

“That boyfriend of yours is a total Boy Scout,” he spits.

“Well, someone’s gotta be," You scoff, eyes rolling, ”They’re just kids, Steve! This isn’t Major League Baseball. There’s no trophy, there’s no prize. There’s absolutely nothing at stake here. What they need to be doing is having fun, and while that snot-nosed little jerk is out there on the field, they’re all gonna be miserable.”

You flop down onto Dylan's couch, feet up on the armrest as he grabs a soda from the fridge and parks himself on the ottoman beside you. You exhale, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"Rough day out with the little leaguers?"

"Rough day out with Steve," you snort. “I’m so used to being around Brandon I forget that people like Steve Sanders even exist.”

“Come on, Steve isn't that bad."

"Dylan, you're talking about the guy that got carjacked by a girl he was trying to hook up with, and still bailed her out of jail--despite the fact she robbed him justminutes before--in the hopes of getting laid, only for her to steal his wallet." Dylan's face screws in a mix of amusement and total disbelief.

"Okay, so he's that bad," Dylan laughs. "Sorry to break it to you, Y/N/N, but not everyone is a part of the illustrious Walsh family."

"Not everyone can be," you tease. He gently tosses you a throw pillow from the chair across the room, and you use it to prop up your head. "It’s a tragedy.”

“See, what did I tell you? Isn’t he sweet? Isn’t he great?” Brenda watches as you comb through the stray dog’s long gray fur. He really is cute… wet black nose, shaggy gray hair, big puppy dog eyes. But you can’t keep him. “I think he likes you!”

“Bren, as much as I’d love to take this puppy home, my parents would kill me!"

“Just take him for a trial run, and if you like him, keep him!”

“Bren—“

“Please?”

“Bren—“

“Come on!” She pleads.

“Fine! Okay, okay. I’ll see if we can take him in tomorrow night,” you concede, giving the dog one last pat on the head. Brenda squeals happily, a grin on her face as she wraps her arms around you.

“He’s great! You’ll love him!”

"Fine. See you later... Wally."

The four of you watch silently, perched up at the counter of the Peach Pit as Nat's baseball team chows down on slices of pepperoni pizza. We've got Nat to your far left, wondering how the hell they're going to survive against the team from Beverly Hills, then we've got Dylan to your left debating on whether to finally help Nat and shack up with the struggling team, Brandon to your right who hasn't lifted his hand from your upper thigh this whole time which is seriously distracting, and you, wondering how such little boys could devour so much pizza in so little time.

"You know the improvement from one week to the next is remarkable." You mumble.

"Oh yeah… the kids are showing a lot of promise." Brandon nods absentmindedly, bringing his cup to his lips.

"But…" Dylan begins, "you still need a pitcher that can put the ball over the plate."

"Yeah," Nat sighs, "but win or lose, the most important thing is how good the kids feel about themselves." He's trying to convince you, but the more he talks the more you know he's trying to convince himself.

"Absolutely." You agree.

"Totally." Brandon nods.

"Yeah, I mean, in the long run that's all that counts," Dylan shrugs, his voice coated with scepticism.

"Absolutely." Brandon concurs.

"Totally…” You say. “Y’know, I was talking to Andrea about this and she knows a pretty great player from the valley."

They all turn their heads, slowly, with Nat glancing from you to the phone. You roll your eyes at the boys, making your way over to the payphone. The group watches with bated breath behind you as you slip in the quarters and dial her number, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Andrea, hi! Listen, uh, do you remember the other day? You told me you knew some kid in the valley who was a major blue-chip little leaguer?"

"Oh, yeah! Avery?"

"Yeah… Avery." You twist your head back, giving them a smile and a thumbs up.

"What's Dylan doing? Bringing in a ringer?" Steve scoffs, twisting the metal bat in his hand as he cleans it. You exchange knowing smirks with Brandon as Dylan helps Avery get ready on the sidelines. She takes off her ball cap, releasing the foot of long brunette pony-tailed hair. Gasps are heard from center field, seemingly originating from Noah. Shocker.

"Oh my god! Dude, it's a girl!" He laughs out, adjusting his cap against the wind.

"Poor Dylan, he's really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?" Oh, if only you and that misogynistic head of yours knew, Steve-O. And surprise, surprise—Every pitch she's involved in ends up in a home run for the Pitts.

And little by little, much to your joy, Steve is getting progressively more aggravated— tapping feet, flaring nostrils, bugged-out eyes. You’re beginning to like baseball.

Eventually you make your way over to Brenda, off by the sidelines. You watch as they send Davey from the Dukes out, and Manny, the small, athletically challenged boy from the Pitts, isn’t far behind. Brandon perks up, calling a timeout to give what you can only assume is another one of his infamous Brandon talks to his team. After a moment the team breaks up, moving into their correct positions and as Manny chokes up on his bat ready to pitch. You cringe, hiding your face in your hand.

But it's nothing short of a miracle as Davey throws the ball. It makes contact with Manny's bat, soaring across the field as he jets off across the bases. The catcher from the Dukes runs for the ball, tripping over his own foot and skidding across the grass. The whole team erupts into ecstatic cheers, rushing out and lifting Manny onto their shoulders. You know that Davey blew the pitch for him, you’ve seen him pitch a hundred times. But seeing the joy on that little boy's face, you knew that it didn't matter.

"Poor kid," Brenda sighs, looking out to the opposite direction to Randy Crawford, the catcher that landed face-first into the grass. "I mean, he really gave it his best-- Wally!"

"Wally? Bren, what're you-- oh my god! That is Wally!" Off in the distance, you can see the gray ball of hair hurdling towards the baseball diamond.

"That's not Wally! That's Rupert! It's my dog, he's back!" Randy gasps, watching in amazement as his shaggy mutt runs across the crowds and into his open arms.

"Hey uh," Brandon comes to greet you, but is looking out into the field as well, "isn't that supposed to be your dog, Y/N/N?"

"No, Brandon," Brenda shakes her head, light smile lacing her lips. "I guess that's Randy's dog…" You sigh, but seeing the little boy giggle with glee as Wally-- er, Rupert, laps at his cheek, there's no troubling emotions to be found.

"I'm sorry, Y/N/N," Brandon laces his fingers with yours, grabbing your attention with a soft kiss to your temple.

"I'm not," you assure him. You smile, the sight of the boy reuniting with his long lost dog something straight out of a movie scene. One last look and you turn away from the boy, eyes meeting your boyfriend’s. “Hey, Brandon... have a date for that dance yet?”

Taglist: @be-patient-be-good @mpmarypoppins @bevelyhills90210 @blueoz @princess-ghost-alien @hueycat2004 @l4life @keepcalm-and-beyou @isthatabutterfly @rosy-pugs @thewalshess

#beverly hills 90210 #bh90210 #90210 #brandon walsh x reader #jason priestley x reader #beverly hills 90210 imagine #90210 imagine #brandon walsh #jason priestley #steve sanders #ian ziering #gif is mine #dylan mckay #luke perry #90s fanfiction #90s x reader

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unstoppablepjm · 5 years

Text

My Ultimate Jikook Fic Rec Part 1

Hello everyone~

Finally! I’ll be starting my kookmin/jikook fic rec. This has taken quite a while and I have over 500 fics to share 😭I’ll be dividing my posts into different parts and hopefully when I read new ones, I can start posting them separately.

So again, some disclaimers before we start!

Most of the fics I read involve some pretty heavy tags and almost always involve smut (lmao sorry, I’m a heathen what can I say)

With that said, READ THE TAGS FOR EACH FIC. Remember kids: dead dove don’t eat.

This compilation will include: one-shots (c*mshots hekhek), chaptered, on-going, completed, and discontinued (yes, sadistic i know).

There may be some fluff recs here. But don’t count on it.

I'll cut the summaries as much as I can so that you won't get the whole block of text some writers include ksjdkjs

Again, and I will not stress this enough, don’t come at me if there are fics with dubious tags. I am a pretty open-minded reader and I’ve read my sizeable share of dark, disturbing fics so if you see tags not for you, move along.

I won't tag side ships unless they're tagged as the main relationship too

Also, I’ll intersperse some personal comments/observation if I feel like it. Usually I have these if a fic is particularly good or if I love how it's written 😊

Here's the link to my previous fic rec post: My Ultimate Jikook One-shot Fic Rec

OKAY, LET’S GET IT!

You are my home | On-going (15/?) | by: Erika1694

Summary: Jungkook is an awkward guy who befriends his next door neighbour Taehyung. Things go well until Taehyung introduces him to Jimin after which Jungkook's world turns upside down and he starts questioning everything including his sexuality.

His Pup | On-going (7/?) | by:Cho_Ha

Summary:Park Jimin must be going crazy because there was no way this disheveled looking guy was the cute little puppy he used to feed everyday after his night shift at the restaurant. Or Park Jimin feeds a puppy and meets a naked-ass dude.

Eden Afterworld | On-going (22/?) | by:Hadefex

Summary:Driven by rage over the public execution of his law abiding parents, Jimin enters the elite military district under the guise of being a prized Omega Positive to come face-to-face with the one person he hates more than himself - High Commander Jeon Jungkook. In a world where being Neutral is about as useless as being dead, how far is Jimin willing to go to get revenge?

Comment: i LOVE the writer's big mind. this is ot5 before jikook happens tho ehehe so if ur not down with that, skip

My Honey, You Taste So Sweet | On-going (7/?) | by:MyHope (CutesyMe)

Summary:Where Jimin only wants to find his soulmate but there is a war threatening him every second of his life

PHASES | On-going (2/?) | by:disneykoo

Summary:It was 4:30pm on a sunny friday evening in the middle of Seoul with nobody noticing that Park Jimin, son of CEO Park Jaemin, got kidnapped in the span of 15 seconds.

Typhon.exe | On-going (5/?) | by:kookiepeach

Summary:When grey hat hacker Jeon Jungkook sees Park Jimin at a party, all he wants to do is find out just a little bit more.

Your heartbeats told me | Completed (27/27) | by:Linn_Linn

Summary:What starts off with hate, soon turns to something else as Jimin and Jungkook begin to meet in secret. But what happens when secrets no longer can be kept? Friends comes and goes, but what about soulmates?

Comment: OMG I LOVE THIS FIC SM!! the gay awakening, the jk POV, the character development, the twists UGH! love it

Stockholm Syndrome | On-going (9/15) | by:expensive_latTae

Summary:“P-please, I’m sorry, let me go!” “You’re mine now. I’ll only let you go in death Angel.” Jimin never understood the Jeon Mafia’s Heir’s twisted obsession with him, and when did the pulsing pain under his skin and the artificial cage he was locked up in become a sign of love.

Comment: I'm interested to see where this goes. Hopefully the writer hasn't abandoned this yet

I Want Your Heart, Not Just Body | On-going (27/?) | by:IlovewritingJikook

Summary:When his village is attacked, Jimin is captured made a slave where he is bought on a whim as a birthday gift, and his life takes a drastic turn. Third Prince, Jungkook receives a surprising birthday gift- a beautiful, human named, Jimin. But Jungkook has no use for a personal slave, however, Jungkook has no choice but to keep him. The Two find friendship and love when they least expect it but can love between a vampire and a slave survive the lies, deceit, and betrayal that looms around every corner of the palace?

Kindred | On-going (2/?) | by:serendiplini

Summary:Jeon Jeongguk, heir of the illustrious Jeon Enterprises, is sent to a sleepy lakeside town to stake out a location for a new shopping mall. Unfortunately, his search quickly reaches a dead end—literally—when he learns the previous owner of the property has passed away with an iron grip on the deed to the land. Luckily for him, it just so happens that his eccentric innkeeper Park Jimin has a way of communicating with the dead. For a price, of course.

Soul Mates | On-going *Abandoned?* (8/?) | by:SomewhereAnywhere

the heart of a siren | Completed (16/16) | by:namakemono

Summary:Beware of what you take from the sea. She is not a treasure to be plundered, but a dark, vast void that will swallow you up and think nothing of it.

Comment: What a damn wonderful fic. The merman!JM fic I've always wanted to read. Loved the writing, the plot and how each character was portrayed.

Blood, Love & Tears | On-going *Abandoned?* (9/?) | by:Iamconfusion

Summary:You would think Jimin's life is like any other broke, 23 years old university student.

He has the craziest bestfriends.

He works a waitersjob at a highclass club.

He caught the interest of Jeon Jungkook.

Maybe it’s not so ordinary afterall.

This is Another Jikook Mafia au.

Comment: I hate that the writer seems to have abandoned this but good lord this fic is HOT.

The Lost Kingdom of Crows | On-going (7/10) | by:Priska

Summary:Jimin, who belongs to the widely spread kingdom of swans, falls in love with the youngest heir of a small noble family despite knowing they can never be. Jungkook, the youngest and wildest Prince of the crows, doesn't care about rules and restrictions. Wars and politics. He wants Jimin anyway. He wants him, even if it results in a curse that'll follow them through time and into a different reality.

Comment: Cute fic.

Life As a Beta | On-going (4/?) | by:lapetitemortjm

Summary:“Who wanted to present as a Beta?” Park Jimin had shit for luck when his unrequited love happened to be Jeon Jeongguk, an Alpha.

Dark Paradise | Completed (13/13) | by:makimonojjk

Summary:Park Jimin has life sorted. He does. He has a good job, a lovely wife and two beautiful kids. When he starts working at one of the most dangerous prisons in Seoul, he begins to question many of his life choices. When a certain inmate, Jeon Jeongguk, gets into his head and makes him rethink his whole life he knows he's in big trouble.

Comment: I enjoyed this fic sm. I loved the unique setting and ohhh myy JM is so hot in this one.

Arrangement Null And Void | Completed (15/15) | by:Holymotherofduck

Summary:Jungkook is the prince of the north. Dutiful to his position and passionate about his kingdom. When his parents announce they have found him a partner he is not surprised it is a member of the south kingdom. They had spoken for years on a union between the two sides of their country. What he does not expect is for that person to be a prince, in the same position he is and with the same passion. Prince Park Jimin. Unfortunately their views differ greatly and Jungkook has little respect for the south's soft approach, but Jimin is a prince just like him and will not stand by and let him have his way.

Comment: Nice plot progression.

Nemesis: Love | Completed (18/18) | by:AttilaTheHun

Summary:Park Jimin works hard, and everyone knows it. His boss likes him, his coworkers adore him, and he knows it's just a matter of time until he graduates from the ranks of the desk farm and into something better. All he has to do is conquer every single feeling of inadequacy he's ever had. Simple enough. Job-stealing newcomer Jeon Jeongguk doesn't seem to work for much of anything at all, and he's more than arrogant enough for them both. But he's certainly well-connected, tall and rich and good at everything. Jimin hates him on sight, and by the end of the first week he's sure they're eternal enemies. And sure, Jeongguk may be cute, even hot underneath his suits, but Jimin doesn't care about that. Not at all.

Comment: They say this is the must-read office!KM fic.

The Scent of Lemons | Completed (1/1) | by:Portent

Summary:There's Jimin, a dog, a duck and a tree. There's Jungkook, a little prejudiced, a little clueless and a whole lot gorgeous. Then there's this thing called love. Sometimes it hits like a truck and sometimes it blows like a gentle breeze.

Comment: The writing is awesome! This fic is too cute for words and literally JM is so cute here with his lil pets :D

a dose of salt | On-going (9/10) | by:Daisyjjang

Summary:Park Jimin is a renown cardiothoracic surgeon—a genius, a medical prodigy, the best surgeon at the hospital. He’s kind, friendly, handsome, and patient. He’s also the son of the hospital’s Chairman. But nobody needs to know that since he’s worked for and earned everything he’s accomplished on his own without the help of nepotism. Everyone loves him. Everyone but Jeon Jungkook, the hot new military trauma surgeon straight out of the army. The decorated veteran is brilliant and quick witted, but has a hot temper and absolutely zero tolerance for bullshit. When Park Jimin makes a bad first impression on him, things get extremely salty between the two very different personalities.

Comment: From one of my fave twitter AU writers, she never disappoints. The medical!KM fic y'all should read. Don't be bothered by the remaining chapter, I think it's only an epilogue to the story anyway.

Okay, this is it for now! I'll create part 2 in a while. Let me know if you loved any of these! Enjoyyy! Thanks!!

#jikook #kookmin #jikook fic rec #kookmin fic rec #bts ships #bts fic rec #my fic rec #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction

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rayveewrites · 3 years

Text

So as a simultaneous end of the year/ completion of Golden Echoes/ launch of Buried Gold celebration, I thought it would be neat to go through every chapter and post my favourite line/phrase/sentence/paragraph/etc from each. Why? Is this a genuine celebration? Do I think I’m funny and laugh at my own jokes? Am I actually just procrastinating? Yes. (Very obviously spoilers for the entire fic.)

Prologue: Lost Darkness, pierced by the faint glow of sunlight through the holes in the ceiling. The sound of dripping water, pooling in the centre of the room.

Prologue: Found It remembered a time of life and colour, when it danced and played and sang, when children flocked around him and fed off its happiness and energy and gave him their own. Would it ever experience that again?

Prologue: Name Old, brittle bones grinded. Rusted metal sounded against the tiled floor. Colourless eyes softly glowed silver.

Returned ...whoever thought it was a good idea to create a horror attraction out of the actual murders of actual children needed to have their heads readjusted. Forcefully. With a mask full of crossbeams and wires.

Exploration ...servos and circuits, they had been at this location for an hour and Freddy was already having a terrible day. Also it was 10 AM. The location operated at night. Why.

Darkness So young, and left without a voice. I ask you now to make your choice. Clean the tiles of blood and tears? Or let them suffer with their fears?

Void He called up a memory, of turquoise eyes and golden fur, of whispers in the night that meant nothing and everything, of a feeling of happiness, that nothing would ever change, because the world was already perfect.

Balloons Of course this place has wonky physics.

JJ “So let me get this straight. A potentially dangerous supernatural rabbit wants me to take a cryptic message to a potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit, and then somehow convince the other potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit and his potentially dangerous animatronic friends that the first potentially dangerous animatronic rabbit is not, in fact, the definitely dangerous child-murdering serial killer who’s...somewhere else. Have I got all that?”

Rabbit Part of his mouth twitched, as if he was trying to make a facial expression, but couldn't.

Arcade The Void was not cooperating.

Parts Things had always seemed much brighter when they were two.

Guard Whatever came to one or the other's mind, in the breaks between people coming through and Sam playing creepy sounds over the speakers because 'a couple of teenagers are smooching on cam six, do they you realize I can see you, jesus christ, why are you even snogging in a horror attraction anyway, I really don't get the appeal, I swear to god-' or something along those lines, anyway.

Adventure Peace wasn't a feeling the ghost had had for a very long time.

Notes ...it had been a handful of wild yellow daisies a little girl had found, and he’d woven them into a ‘flower crown’ (actually more of a flower bracelet- the girl had picked as many as she could hold, but children had small hands) and put it on Fredbear’s hat when his partner wasn’t looking. Fredbear had promptly worn it all that night and the next day, daisies and all. Spring hadn’t been sure if he’d noticed or not, but either way, it had been very cute.

Cupcakes If the kid wanted a dinosaur, the kid should get a dinosaur, as far as he was concerned. Clothes were clothes. Why did people kick up such a stink about it sometimes?

Tapes “Uh, hello? Hello, hello! Uh, there’s been a slight change of company policy concerning use of the suits. Um, don’t.” “Oh gee,” JJ muttered, “imagine. It’s almost as if they were giant metal deathtraps.”

Talk ...she didn’t need to understand every aspect of Springtrap's life. That was Springtrap’s job, and he was apparently terrible at it.

Performance “It smells like something crawled in there and died.”

Gold Fredbear had been Springtrap’s heart and soul; as much as he loved the children and gave each performance his all, his real reason for living was in the bear who sang beside him. Springtrap remembered singing on stage, a guitar in his hands and love in his soul. He remembered stolen kisses in the night, waltzing on cool tiles with music nobody else could hear. He remembered stealing Fredbear’s hat dozens of times, running off wearing it and giggling like a small child himself. He remembered quiet nights, when the only sounds were his guitar and Fred’s soft humming, sometimes the same tune, sometimes not, but neither of them ever cared. He remembered curling up together, watching stars twinkle in the night sky beyond the walls of the little diner, and truly believing that the time they had together was infinite.

Stage He was holding something. He looked down, opened his hand and saw a gleaming purple microphone, accented with gold. It had been years, decades, since he had last seen it, but he recognized it. He knew what it meant. "Even after everything, I’m still with you."

[Note: this is also the chapter that contained Springtrap’s poem. I’m quite proud of that one, despite how much of a pain it was to write. So, honourable mention]

Notes [Note: wait, crud, there’s two chapters named Notes? I’m gonna have to change one of those later.]

Maybe she just needed to hit something.

Knife [Note: I forgot to actually title this one in AO3. Welp. Better fix that later]

It was slightly strange, a Freddy’s-related crime that was just… basic burglary. It was always the unusual crimes that happened- murder, manslaughter, OSHA violations (so many OSHA violations). But theft? That was new.

Shadows

They lapsed back into silence for a moment. “So, this place… is it real?” In a fashion. It was created from your memories of what is gone. “So… if Fredbear isn’t here…” He is unreachable. “Where?” I cannot tell you. “You don’t know, do you.” The Shadow-Bear was silent, telling Springtrap all he needed to know.

Puppet RWQ… Yes? Stop tormenting the rabbit. You’re no fun. Puppet? She hissed at the purple bear. Stop tormenting the rabbit. “And why would I listen to you?” Because, Shadow Freddy said as the Puppet was slowly levitated up into the air, all four limbs flailing, he’s needed. And also, you are being, as Springtrap so eloquently called RWQ earlier, an asshole.

Voice Specifically, it was more a mixture of blood, rotting flesh, and whatever other bodily fluids lingered in William Afton’s partially mummified decomposing head and was accessible via Springtrap’s mouth, without opening said mouth to the point where someone would notice said partially mummified decomposing head. [Or] Springtrap was displaying remarkable self-restraint. First, he hadn’t punched the Puppet in the face for threatening his friend’s life. Then, he hadn’t punched the Puppet in the face for implying he had a problem with the golden bear. Now, he wasn’t squeezing the life out of JJ in a hug.

Ghosts “No. The thing is, I’ve never had a name I felt truly fit before it. I can’t be Bonnie any more; the Classic model has taken that name, and he is welcome to have it. Spring Bonnie was the name the Man Behind the Slaughter used; I never truly referred to myself with it. Some employees called me Golden Bonnie, to fit with the whispers of a Golden Freddy, but that was never truly a name either, although I suppose I could have gotten used to it eventually. But Springtrap? It lets me keep my past, and it lets me have a future. Sure, it’s a little odd, but I don’t mind. I kind of like it. It’s unique.”

Humans Oh, Spring has a key. That explains where the spare went! When did he get that? Jake’s been looking for it for ages. Not that it’s my business. He says he technically works here, so it’s not stealing. Cheeky. He’s right though.

Henry “I’m not sure whether I should be pissed about the weird way he’s been constructed, or impressed he hasn’t collapsed yet. What the hell is holding him togeth- wait what the hell is that.” Springtrap winced. He knew he should’ve warned them beforehand, but he still tended to hide the rotting corpse. It was instinctive, a sort of habit- born from the fear he would be scrapped is the workers found out, and increased by the fact he was being blamed for murder.

Sound No matter how bad Springtrap’s eyesight could get, no matter how often his joints locked up, Springtrap had always had his rabbit hearing. It had saved his life several times, back when the Classics were hunting him. He had figured out a basic method of echolocation for when his eyes were useless. He relied on his ears, and now they were letting him down for the first time in his life. It scared him.

Doors “Freddy! We have a problem!”

Attack He did. He needed a hand. God, it hurt. Where was his arm? Was that his arm? No, it couldn’t be. He was gold. Not green. Or maybe it was. It was hard to think. Thinking. What a strange concept. The Greeks had invented thinking, hadn't they? Why would they do that?

Rest There were voices. Voices. His voicebox had lungs. His lungs were in his spine. His spine was being held together by lungs. His spine attached to his legs. He had no legs. He heard voices. He couldn’t hear. The grass was nice. Cool. Soft. Green. Like his eyes. Not like his eyes. Like his fur. He had no fur. Like his plush. His plush was green. Or gold. Or red. Or brown. He couldn’t remember which. Maybe it was all of them There was a breeze. It was nice. Warm. Hot. It was sunny. The sun was a star. He liked stars. Stars meant Fredbear. And dancing. Where were his legs? He wanted to dance with the stars. Or with Fredbear. Fredbear. His Fredbear. He missed Fredbear.

Epilogue: Box Smeared down the plaster, it started about six feet up, and grew thicker toward the ground. It looked like Springtrap, or the Purple Guy, had slid down the wall until they were sitting. The tile beneath was stained heavily, and Freddy marvelled at how much blood was in a human body.

Epilogue: Opening ... no killing. That was the new rule. It was a strange one, for Master, but he supposed Master knew what he was talking about. He had changed, too; he had scratched behind his ears a couple days ago and it had felt so good.

Epilogue: Spark He remembered a time of life and colour, when he danced and played and sang, when children flocked around him and fed off his happiness and energy and gave him their own. He would experience that again.

#Golden Echoes

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zen3to5 · 4 years

Text

J/H 4-01: It’s A Wonderful Life

Well, Eric broke up with Donna, just as in the show, and Hyde went and got Jackie and Kelso back together...what does that mean for Season 4?

(We're doing things a little differently this time. Because "It's A Wonderful Life" has only one storyline, and because all my changes happen in the middle of the episode, I didn't write out the entire thing. You can imagine this version of 4-01 beginning just the same as it does in the show, with Eric in bed, through meeting the angel, cancelling out the kiss, and the first look at life without Eric and Donna's relationship in the basement. Imagine, then, that after the angel tells Eric "I'm gonna show you a lot of neat stuff like this," the scene cuts, and we move on to:)

FF.Net AO3

***

INT. HUB - DAY A sunny and busy afternoon. ERIC and the ANGEL stand in front of the pinball machine. Right in front of them, ALTERNATE ERIC, clad in letter sweater, plays chess with a NERD, while THREE DORKS stand around them, watching. ERIC: This can’t be that bad. I’m wearing a letter sweater. ANGEL: Chess club. Loser. Alt. Eric considers the board, then makes his move with a smug grin. ALT. ERIC: Ah, checkmate. The nerd and the dorks walk away, defeated, as Eric and the angel share a look. ALTERNATE FEZ enters, in full marching band uniform, with a trumpet in hand. He crosses to Alt. Eric. ALT. FEZ: Hey, I made the marching band. Oh, at last I will be accepted by the cool kids and not get beat up. Alt. Eric nods encouragingly. Unfortunately, a JOCK and a HUNK appear, grab Fez by the arms, and haul him back to the door. ALT. FEZ (cont’d): Ai, no! Not again, guys! A SECOND JOCK holds the door open, and they all disappear with poor Fez. The bathroom door swings open, and out step ALTERNATE HYDE and ALTERNATE DONNA, Alt. Hyde’s arm around Alt. Donna’s shoulders. Alt. Hyde has lost his sunglasses and wears a ratty jeans’ vest over his T-shirt. Alt. Donna wears a leather jacket. She has her shirt pulled up, showing a tattoo across her stomach - “Question Authority.” Alt. Eric glances up at them briefly before bowing his head over the chess board. His head snaps to the door when ALTERNATE KELSO bursts in and makes a beeline for Eric’s table. ALT. KELSO: Is your sister home? ALT. ERIC: Well, yes, but - ALT. KELSO: Great. He throws himself across the room over to Alt. Hyde and Alt. Donna. ALT. KELSO: (to Alt. Donna) I need you to keep Jackie busy for, like, a half-hour. She’s out back and I need to get over to Laurie. ALT. DONNA: Again? Kelso, I am not a babysitter for your midget brat girlfriend. Alt. Hyde jostles her, gives her a peck on the cheek before clapping Alt. Kelso on the shoulder with his free hand. ALT. HYDE: Don’t worry, man. I’ve got you covered. We need wheels for the drive-in tonight, so we’ll have Jackie drive us there. ALT. KELSO: Great. ALT. HYDE: Then we’ll swipe the keys and ditch her. All three of them laugh. ALT. KELSO: All right! (to Hyde) You know, you’ve gotten so much cooler since you dropped out of school! Grinning ear to ear, he runs out of the Hub, and Alt. Hyde and Alt. Donna begin making out while Alt. Eric steals glances. Eric steps toward the smooching couple for a better look. ERIC: No, wait. That’s – this is all wrong. Donna wouldn’t get a tattoo, she and Hyde wouldn’t help Kelso cheat on Jackie, and... well, Hyde might drop out, but I’m pretty sure that’s where Red’s “foot in ass” theories on parenting would go into practice. ANGEL: It’s not Red’s problem. ERIC: What do you mean? ANGEL: Look at you. He indicates Alt. Eric and Alt. Hyde – or rather, the space between them. ANGEL (cont’d): Between Donna going with Hyde and you turning into – that... He gestures dismissively at Alt. Eric, who’s now fingering the chess pieces. ANGEL (cont’d): You and Hyde started to drift apart. ERIC: Wait... you’re saying Hyde and I aren’t friends? ANGEL: Not good enough friends that you’d take him in when his mom left. That’s why Hyde dropped out. And without your parents’ influence, he went wild, and it rubbed off on Donna. As if to illustrate, Alt. Hyde’s hand drifts down to Alt. Donna’s butt. They make out across the room until they’re bent over the pinball machine. Not once do they notice Alt. Eric. ANGEL (cont’d): And once they went wild, they didn’t care what Kelso did, and never developed the soft spot for Jackie that led Donna to be her friend and Hyde to look out for her. Alt. Donna moans with delight and kicks out. Her sandal flies off her foot and beans Alt. Eric in the head, knocking him from his chair and sending the chess set flying.

BUMPER INT. FORMAN BASEMENT - NIGHT Eric sits on the deep freeze with the angel standing nearby. Alt. Eric, watches TV on the couch. On the other end of the couch is ALTERNATE JACKIE, wearing her street clothes from 1-21 (“Prom Night.”) She lets out a long, loud sigh. Alt. Eric slowly turns to look at her. ALT. ERIC: You don’t like Soul Train? ALT. JACKIE: It’s just... that powder blue suit on Don Cornelius reminded me of the prom. ALT. ERIC: Oh, right. That thing no one asked us to. His voice trails off as he turns back to the TV. Eric leans back in disgust. ERIC: I sat out the prom with Jackie? Oh, let me guess – Hyde had a magical freakin’ night there before having sex with Donna in the motel room I was supposed to get. ANGEL: No. Hyde didn’t go the prom. He’s at home right now too. Eric sits up straighter, smiles. ERIC: Oh. The angel turns to him and grins. ANGEL: Having sex with Donna. Eric throws his hands up. ERIC: OH! The basement phone rings. Alt. Eric gingerly picks it up. ALT. ERIC: Hello? Donna? ...Uh-huh... uh-huh... but are you sure... oh. Okay. Great! Thank you. See you soon. He hangs up. With a nervous glance over at Alt. Jackie, he stands and stretches. ALT. ERIC (cont’d): So... that was Donna. There’s a party over at Hyde’s for after prom. Alt. Jackie looks up, eyes shining, and hops to her feet. ALT. JACKIE: Great! Then what are we waiting for? Will Michael be there? ALT. ERIC: Well, yes... but you can’t be. You’re not invited. ALT. JACKIE: (beat) And you’re still going? You’re leaving me here alone? She’s either about to cry or about to kill him. Alt. Eric looks all over the basement in a futile search for the right answer. Finally, he holds up a hand. ALT. ERIC: Or – you know what we could do... CUT TO: INT. HYDE’S HOUSE – NIGHT If the Hyde residence looked dirty when his mother was still at home, it’s an absolute wreck now. Alt. Jackie stands outside, looking in through the window with a furious expression. Alt. Eric, inside looking out, gives her an apologetic shrug and moves into the party. It isn’t all that wild an affair; a couple of couples dancing and some unsavory-looking characters roaming around the halls. Alt. Hyde and Alt. Donna sway together in the middle of the room, holding each other tight. Eric and the angel stand behind Alt. Donna, who has a fresh tattoo on her right bicep. ANGEL: Hmm... another tattoo... (reading) “Property of Hyde.” Classy. Eric rolls his eyes as Alt. Eric tries to pass by the couple. They bump into him as they dance. Alt. Donna looks up first; it’s clear that she and Alt. Hyde are both drunk. ALT. DONNA: (slurred) Eric! You made it. It’s so good to see you. ALT. ERIC: You too. I’m surprised you were able to call – did call. And Hyde, man – it’s really good to see you again - ALT. HYDE: (slurred) Yeah, yeah, that’s great, Forman. Keg’s in the kitchen. He claps Alt. Eric on the back and shoves him toward the kitchen door. Alt. Eric bumps into Alt. Fez, clad in Elton John glasses and acid-wash jeans. He has a record in his hands. Alt. Eric straightens up and looks down at the record. ALT. ERIC: Hey, Fez. Whatcha got there? ALT. FEZ: The new Leo Sayer album. From nowhere, the jocks and hunk from earlier swoop down on them. A jock punches Alt. Fez in the jaw, the other jock catches him and drags him into the kitchen, and the hunk does the same with Alt. Eric. The angel gives Eric a light elbow to the ribs, but Eric just scoffs and looks around the room. Alt. Hyde and Alt. Donna are back to dancing, but another couple catches Eric’s eye – Alt. Kelso and PAM MACY, making out on the arm of the couch. ALT. KELSO: I wrote you a love poem, Pam. It goes like this: “I love your rack I’d love to shack Up with you And do it too.” PAM: Oh, Michael... that is so deep. ALT. KELSO: Yeah. I kicked that poem’s ass! He leans in for more kissing, and the two of them fall down across the couch. Eric instinctively inches away from them. ERIC: Kelso and Pam Macy... because Kelso and Jackie never got back together on prom night. ANGEL: You see the domino effect? You never kiss Donna, Hyde doesn’t take Jackie to prom, she never makes up with Kelso. Now she’s out in the cold, and you and Fez are having your underwear stretched over your heads. ERIC: I know. It’s like my relationship with Donna touched everyone’s lives for the better. And I was just gonna throw that a – He blows a long raspberry in the angel’s face. The angel winces, wipes away the spittle. ANGEL: Okay. You’re unpleasant. ERIC: Just give it up. I don’t care. This still isn’t as bad as having Donna and losing her. ANGEL: Oh, no? Well, it gets a lot worse. Come on, we’re going into the future. That’s right – the ‘80s! Heard only by the angel and a stunned Eric, “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats begins to play. MEN WITHOUT HATS (aud. only): We can dance if we want to We can leave your friends behind ‘Cause your friends don’t dance And if they don’t dance Well, they’re - The music cuts out, and Eric looks to the angel. ERIC: Man, what the hell was that? ANGEL: Oh, you’ll find out. FADE TO BLACK COMMERCIAL BUMPER INT. FORMAN KITCHEN - DAY The 1980s. They’ve had no impact on the Forman’s decorating sense, but some impact on Alt. Eric: he actually has sideburns now. He wears the same Price Mart manager’s suit his father used to wear as he eats a bowl of cereal at the kitchen island. Behind him stand Eric and the angel. They watch as ALTERNATE KITTY, her hair now worn down and a brighter blonde, enters from the living room. She looks less than thrilled to see her son eating at the island. ANGEL: Welcome to 1983, Eric. ERIC: Wait... I still work at Price Mart? I still live here? The angel nods. Eric moans, sits down at the kitchen table. ERIC (cont’d): Good God, I wish I could just wake up. ANGEL: Oh, you may never wake up. This could be a coma dream. Eric drops his head onto the table. Alt. Eric smiles up at Alt. Kitty. She attempts to smile back and goes immediately for a wine glass in the cupboard. ALT. KITTY: Eric, honey, college registrations are going to be done soon. Have you thought at all about finally applying and enrolling - and moving away - to UW, or Chicago, or... or Africa? Eric’s head snaps up. ERIC: I haven’t even gone to college? The angel throws his head back and laughs. Alt. Eric stands, moves around the island to Alt. Kitty. ALT. ERIC: No, but I have thought about putting in for another promotion at Price Mart so I can stay at home with my mother, who I just couldn’t stand to be away from. He stands, hugs Alt. Kitty. ALT. KITTY: Oh, God. The kitchen door swings open, and in come ALTERNATE RED and Alt. Jackie. Alt. Red looks the same as always; Alt. Jackie has gained a giant ‘80s hairdo and a hell of a lot of mascara. ALT. RED: (to Alt. Eric) Are you still here? For God’s sake, Eric! I told you to go pick up the Toyota from the shop over an hour ago! ALT. JACKIE: And what about my dry cleaning? I need my green dress for the Price Mart ball. And you’d better remember those dance classes, or so help me, my foot is going right up your ass! Alt. Red nods approvingly. Alt. Eric bows his head, cowed. Our Eric leaps to his feet and grabs the angel by the shoulders. ERIC: No! Oh, dear sweet Jesus, please tell me, no! I cannot be married to Jackie Burkhart! The angel shrugs himself free. ANGEL: Relax, you’re not married. Neither of you are. You never found anyone. But Jackie needed someone to yell at and you’re always around, so she’s always over. It’s a little like marriage, but... you know, without any love or sex. ERIC: (beat) You know, that actually makes it better. Alt. Eric passes meekly by them, and they follow him out to: EXT. FORMAN DRIVEWAY - DAY The hedges may be a bit thicker, but otherwise, 1983’s passed the driveway by. The Vista Cruiser still sits in the garage. Alt. Eric pulls its keys from his jacket pocket as a motorcycle pulls into the driveway. On it is Alt. Hyde and Alt. Donna. Alt. Hyde has gone full-on biker: a giant beard, leather jacket, chaps, and bandana. Alt. Donna has dreadlocks in her hair, a loose white dress, and a pregnant belly, along with several more tattoos. Her arms are wrapped tight around Alt. Hyde’s chest. He puts his left hand over hers, displaying their matching wedding bands. ALT. DONNA: Eric? ALT. ERIC: Donna? Is that you? And – and Hyde? Where have you two been? It’s been forever. ALT. HYDE: Layin’ low ‘til the heat was off that jewelry store bust. ALT. DONNA: Well, we were just down at the courthouse, but not for that. Beaming, she wiggles her ring finger. ALT. HYDE: Congratulate us, Forman – we just tied the knot. ALT. ERIC: (beat) Oh... well, that is just – super! He puts on his best fake grin. Eric and the angel share a pitying look. Alt. Jackie stomps out from the kitchen and slaps Alt. Eric on the arm. ALT. JACKIE: Eric! You can give money to hobos later! Now go, dry cleaning, now! Alt. Donna and Alt. Hyde laugh. ALT. HYDE: Oh, Forman, don’t tell me you’re still under the Man’s bitchiest boot heel. He and Alt. Donna laugh again as Alt. Jackie glowers. Alt. Kelso sneaks around from the back of the house. He has perfectly coiffed hair and a slick gray suit. His eyes are fixed on the kitchen door; he doesn’t notice the others, but they see him. ALT. ERIC: Kelso? He spins around, sees the gang. ALT. ERIC (cont’d): What are you doing here? Alt. Kelso stands up straight, flashes a huge grin. ALT. KELSO: (anchor voice) This just in: your sister’s in town, and I never miss a home visit by Laurie Forman! (sees Jackie, drops voice) Oh. Hello, Jackie. ALT. JACKIE: Hello, moron. Alt. Kelso recoils, scoffs. ALT. KELSO: Well, for your information, this moron is the number one anchorman of Cedar Rapids, whereas last I heard, you got thrown out of UW for making the cheerleading coach cry and had to settle for a job as a stewardess! They stare each other down as the last member of this sad group appears: Alt. Fez slowly walks up the driveway. He’s got quite the look going on: Mike Score’s haircut, bright red pants, black leather vest and boots, an electronic keyboard tucked under his arm, and egg yolks everywhere. ALT. FEZ: I was hired to play the national anthem at the high school football game. (beat) I don’t think they liked it. The six of them all look around, swaying on their feet. The angel turns to Eric, who does his best to look unaffected. ALT. ERIC: Boy, I sure am glad this isn’t uncomfortable. Alt. Hyde reaches into his vest and pulls out a brown paper bag. ALT. HYDE: I think I know how to take care of that. Everyone realizes what he has in the bag; they all smile and nod. CUT TO: INT. FORMAN BASEMENT – DAY THE CIRCLE. Alt. Eric hacks and sputters, while Alt. Jackie looks on disapprovingly next to him. ALT. ERIC: (between coughs) You were right, Hyde. This – this is so much more comfortable... Pan to Alt. Kelso. ALT. KELSO: (anchor voice) We have breaking news: I’m toasted. (drops voice) Man, they pay me gobs of money to talk like that. Pan to Alt. Hyde, his arm around Alt. Donna. ALT. HYDE: (to Alt. Fez) Fez, do something with your hair, man. It’s making me paranoid. Pan to Alt. Fez. ALT. FEZ: Guys, I have discovered a band that will change music forever. He starts up his electric keyboard and begins to sing. ALT. FEZ (cont’d): And I ran I ran so far away I just ran I ran all night and day... Pan to the angel. He takes a big inhale and cracks up. ANGEL: You know, there are some things about Earth I really miss! CUT TO: INT. EVENT CENTER - NIGHT A generic white room for renting out, a few round seating tables and a buffet line set up. A large green sign welcomes the class of 1978. Eric and the angel enter through the veranda doors. ANGEL: Okay, welcome to your ten-year high school reunion. They survey the party. It isn’t much of one; a few scattered attendees and Alt. Fez as the entertainment, dancing to prerecorded music in yet another disastrous ‘80s outfit of pinstriped white suit and aqua T-shirt. Alt. Eric, in a conservative suit, approaches the buffet table. A brown smear covers his upper lip. ERIC: All right! I finally grew a moustache! ANGEL: Actually, it’s chocolate cake. Just to prove it, Alt. Eric wipes it away with a napkin. Alt. Kelso enters from the hall, beer in hand. His hair is still coiffed, but he’s gained a large beer gut. Pam Macy, with the frizziest of ‘80s hair and a pregnant belly, is with him. ERIC: What happened to Kelso? ANGEL: Oh, he got fired. Yeah, he thought the news would be funnier drunk. Now he works for you, selling waterbeds. ERIC: (laughs) What a loser. (beat) Wait, I sell waterbeds? ANGEL: That’s right. Alt. Kelso and Pam make their way to the buffet table. Alt. Eric sees them, frowns. ALT. ERIC: Kelso, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to lock up the store tonight. ALT. KELSO: But it’s our reunion, man! I’ll lock it up tomorrow, I promise. Unless your sister’s flight gets canceled, then I’m sneaking over. Alt. Eric throws his hands up and Pam swats Alt. Kelso on the arm. Alt. Jackie, who has been walking the floor throughout the scene, comes up behind Alt. Kelso. She wears a gray business suit with long skirt, straight hair pulled into a tight bun, tortoiseshell glasses, a clipboard and pencil in one hand and a whistle around her neck. She raises the whistle and blows. Alt. Kelso, Alt. Eric, and Pam all jump. ALT. KELSO (cont’d): Damn, Jackie! That’s even more annoying than your voice! Alt. Jackie glares at him and starts furiously scribbling on her clipboard. ALT. JACKIE: “Bringing alcohol to a school-sponsored function...” ALT. KELSO: What? But Jackie - ALT. JACKIE: “Not addressing the vice principal as ‘Miss Burkhart...’” “Neglecting the orders of your supervisor...” ALT. ERIC: Thank you, Jackie, but - ALT. JACKIE: Shut up, Eric! (looks Pam over) “Bringing your skank...” Pam gives an offended gasp, and Alt. Kelso puffs out what passes for his chest. ALT. KELSO: She is my wife! And we’re not actually in school, Miss Burkhart, so you’ve got no business telling us what’s - ALT. JACKIE: “Being an idiot...” She jabs the clipboard and looks up, a nasty smirk on her face. ALT. JACKIE (cont’d): Know what that adds up to? YOU’RE OUT, MICHAEL! She blows her whistle and points to the hall. When Alt. Kelso and Pam don’t immediately move, she blows again and advances, chasing them out. Alt. Eric makes his way over to Alt. Fez’s stage. He’s busy singing “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by Wang Chung. ALT. FEZ: Rip it up Move down Rip it up Move it down to the ground Rip it up Cool down Rip it up And get the body feeling right As Alt. Eric watches, Alt. Donna enters from the hall and takes a spot on the floor behind him. She’s come a long way from her wedding; she now has a short haircut and a conservative dress, very much a housewife look. ALT. FEZ (cont’d): Everybody have fun tonight Everybody have fun Everybody Wang Chung tonight Everybody have fun Everybody have fun! The crowd, such as it is, applauds. Alt. Eric glances behind and sees Alt. Donna. He straightens himself up and moves to her. ALT. ERIC: Oh, hey, hi! Hey, Donna! It’s Eric Forman from, um, Point Place High School. ALT. DONNA: Yeah, Eric. I know. It’s our reunion. ALT. ERIC: Right, good one. So, uh, how’re you doing? ALT. DONNA: Um... pretty lousy, until I saw how fat Kelso got. Made the drive from Joliet worth it. ALT. ERIC: Oh, right, I heard you guys moved. How’s Hyde? ALT. DONNA: Hyde’s good. The kids are good. (beat) He’s gone a lot. Prison, whatever. (beat) So, Eric, uh, how... how are you? ALT. ERIC: I’m, uh, great. I’m the number three waterbed dealer in Wisconsin, so... (beat) Donna, you look great. ALT. DONNA: Oh, thanks. (beat) You know, don’t laugh, but... (beat) Actually, never mind. ALT. ERIC: No, no. What? ALT. DONNA: I had a crush on you in high school. ALT. ERIC: I had a crush on you too. ALT. DONNA: You know, I almost kissed you once. ALT. ERIC: What might have been, huh? (beat) So, are you still writing? ALT. DONNA: Oh, God. Well... I mean, permission slips. Three kids, you know? ALT. ERIC: Right. Well, you should start again. ‘Cause, you know, you were really good at it. ALT. DONNA: Ah, well, it’s too late for that. It’s too late for a lot of... She trails off. Alt. Eric can’t meet her eyes. ALT. DONNA (cont’d): Hey, so, I’ll see you, Eric. ALT. ERIC: Yeah, I’ll see you, Donna. ALT. DONNA: ‘Kay. ALT. ERIC: Okay. She walks away. Alt. Eric bows his head. Eric and the angel slowly approach, the angel gesturing to the scene they just watched. ANGEL: Huh? Huh? Start the waterworks. He pulls a handkerchief from his suit and offers it to Eric, but Eric just shrugs. ERIC: Sorry. ANGEL: Come on. You’ve gotta feel something. ERIC: Yeah, envy. He never had to feel the pain of losing her. Alt. Eric’s head snaps up. He crosses to them. ALT. ERIC: Oh, wait a minute. You actually had a relationship with Donna? ERIC: (to angel) Wait, I thought you said he couldn’t hear me. ANGEL: I’m loose with the rules. So sue me. ALT. ERIC: No, seriously, you had Donna? ERIC: Look, we broke up. You’re much better off. ALT. ERIC: Says you! Look at me – I’m 28 years old! The closest thing I’ve had to sex is whenever Jackie goes to kick me in my shins and ends up catching me in the nads! ERIC: Idiot! You’re sad you were never with Donna? Well, you got off light, man! I had her and I lost her, and believe me, you don’t want to know how bad that hurts! He storms off. The angel turns to Alt. Eric. ALT. ERIC: So... you’re an angel, right? ANGEL: Why, yes. Yes I am. ALT. ANGEL: Could you, like... could you do anything to help me? ANGEL: Listen closely – no.

***

And from here, the episode wraps up just as you know it, with the same credits scene of Fez singing.

#z's fics #that 70s show #zenmasters #jackie x hyde #zen3to5 #fan fiction #fan script

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pinkykitten · 5 years

Text

Feelin Confident!

Stranger Things

Billy Hargrove x plus size! female reader

Warning: abuse (billy’s abuse), curse words

Specifics: comedy, romance, angst, plus size reader, race neutral reader, confident reader

People: Billy Hargrove, you, Steve Harrington, Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers, Eleven Jane Hopper, Max Mayfield

Words: 1,925

Requested: By anon Could you please do a plus size reader and billy Hargrove imagine where the reader is confident in her body and that surprises billy and she is close with Steve and the kids?

Authors Note: i hope i did justice with this one lol i kinda had writers block with this but i still hope yall enjoy. billy is daddy and is so hot, well dacre is. hope u all like this u guys r dah best :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

The heat was starting to get to you. Your body feeling like it was melting bit by bit. Outside the sun beamed harshly to the Earth, making a statement of how powerful of a star it really is.

It was the summer of 1984, you were sitting, exhausted, in the living room of Dustin’s house. The other kids were there as well.

“Oh my god this weather is going to kill me,” you complained to the world as you fanned yourself with a sports magazine.

“Tell me about it,” Mike said as he wiped his forehead from the sweat.

Dustin munched on his 6th Popsicle that day, “I can’t keep eating these anymore! Guys its summer we should be out there doing...well something!”

El had already made the ac units go as fast as they could with her telekinesis power along with making the fan go to the highest speed possible. Even she was desperate at this moment. You looked at the young girl and she was placing ice chips down her back and in her short, wavy hair. “Its so hot,” was all she said as she continued with her ice chips.

“Hey maybe we can go to the park?” Suggested Lucas wiping his forehead.

“Are you crazy Lucas,” Dustin looked back to him, “do you want us to melt for real?”

“Right, right.”

“What about going to the beach?” Will came up with this idea. You stopped fanning yourself and meditated on that thought for a while. It didn’t sound half bad. The beach was only a 45 minute drive from where you were at. It sounded so satisfying at the moment.

“That sounds like an actually good idea Will, thanks. Okay kids get all your swimsuits ready and meet me up at the arcade, I’m gonna pick up Max and see if she’d like to come as well.”

You got your dad’s huge truck so everyone in the gang could fit. Even Steve Harrington. You invited your best friend Steve to go to the beach as well.

Arriving at the arcade you see another confrontation with Max and her step brother, Billy. You take your sunglasses off and rub your face from stress. How could someone treat a little girl that way? Your mama instincts were starting to control you as you went to Max. She was putting up the middle finger to his car.

“Hey Maxy girl, whats going on?”

She rolled her eyes in frustration, “whats new? My step brother is being a huge dic* today!”

You shook your head, “I wanted to ask you, me and the kids are going to the beach, would you like to go? I got an extra swimsuit in your size in my car. I was gonna give it to my niece but I think you will like it way more.” Max thinks about it then grants you a smile and nods her head. “I’d love to go!”

“Okay well, let me get the swimsuit and give it to you so you could change in the arcade.”

You went and got her the swimsuit and she walked in to change.

“Lets have a talk shall we Billy,” you said a loud to yourself. Seeing his car not far away you walk to his side. You knock on the glass lightly, you can already tell this boy has an attitude. Oh hel* no not with you.

Billy pulls down the glass with an annoyed face and his shades on, “what?”

“Hey Billy hello to you too. I’m gonna steal Max for a while, um, we’re going to the beach-”

Billy then blew out the smoke of the cigarette in your face. You stared angry, and with a big sigh you licked your thumb and pointer finger, squishing the end, it goes out and the cigarette is no good no more.

Billy just laughs and bites his lip, “you’re gonna pay for that.”

“I’m not gonna pay for anything and plus maybe I could be saving your life. Smoking is bad sweetie, look. it. up.” You pronounced the p in up.

“Oooh fiesty, I kinda like it.”

“Anyways Billy I was asking you is she allowed to go with me, I think it will be good for her to get away from all the fiasco in her life.”

“Sure take her wherever the hel* you want to. But how do you know I didn’t want to go as well?”

Placing your hands on your hips you lean against his car, “Billy. The Billy Hargrove wants to join me and a couple of kids to the beach? Any particular real reason you really want to go?”

“Maybe its because I can get a good look at you, see you in a tight swimsuit that shows all them curves of yours-”

“I’m gonna have to stop you there buddy, you’re gonna have to earn this tree because I ain’t no branch, no delicacy,” your lips go to his ear as you lean closer to him, you whisper to him, “I am a whole lot of lovin, more lovin than you are used to.” You kinda want to hit yourself at the end because you think you set something aflame that you didn’t want to. That made Billy want you more and hot for you.

“Fine get in the dam* car,” you finally gave in as you walk back to your truck, your hips swaying with each step you took.

“Dam* y/n,” Billy said to himself as he watched you go.

The car drive was awkward...very awkward. Steve was sitting next to you in the passengers seat while Billy sat behind you. The atmosphere was uncomfortable because Steve and Billy have had fights and are not on the greatest terms. You were not there to start fights though, you were going to have a good time. You and Steve joked around like the bffs you were in the car, but as you looked in the rear view mirror you saw Billy’s face full of jealousy. He gave you a maddening glare, his jaw clenching and his piercing light eyes digging into your soul. It was like he was trying to control you. It was difficult unfortunately, he was very handsome and he knew it. He knew you were falling for his plan. The smell of his cologne and the cigarettes he smoked earlier wafted in the air and in your nose.

The beach was perfect, the sand was cool under your feet and it was soft. You dug your toes in it and smiled to yourself. You set all the items you brought with you down under a umbrella.

“Okay rules for kids, don’t go too far, be careful in the water, shuffle your feet, and if you have an emergency please call either me or Steve.” You shooed them away and all the children ran to the water, their laughter being heard in the air. You chuckled to yourself seeing them have a great time. “Ugh they’re such good kids, they deserve this time off to have fun.”

“Yeah, hey are you getting in?” Steve asked, taking off his clothes leaving him in his bathing suit.

“Of course I’m gettin in Steve, duh.”

Billy is sitting on one of the chairs, his clothes off so he’s left in his really short...shorts. This was your time to be confident. You know you would probably get looks for being your size and the swim suit you were wearing but you didn’t care. You found yourself beautiful and sexy and thats all that mattered to you. Breathing in the salty air you strip your clothes off.

You could care less if your swim suit showed off too much or showed some of your fat, this was you and you were going to enjoy what you got. You were gonna work it and shake it. Bending down in your tight suit you put your clothes away you smirk though hearing Steve and Billy’s breathing harden as if they are struggling to breathe.

“Well boys I think I’m gonna go get wet, see ya.” Motioning to the water you make sure to move your hips and butt extra this time knowing the boys were watching.

“Dam*,” said Billy and Steve at the same time as they watched your full body leave and enter into the blue water.

“How have you not taken her for yourself man?” Billy was shocked, you were everything he needed, mature, sassy, kind, sexy, sweet, understanding, and very smart-mouthed. He liked how bold you were and independent, that just made him want you more.

Steve shook his head, still shocked that his best friend, you, were that hot in that suit, “I’m crazy man, I don’t know what the hel* is wrong with me anymore.” Steve shrugged and ran to you in the water. Leaving Billy sitting there like an outcast.

You two played chicken fight against Mike and El, went underwater with each other. You and Steve and the children were having the time of their lives but you felt bad. Seeing Billy all left out made you get out of the water by yourself to talk to him.

“Hey Billy,” you said sweetly as you got closer to him. Your face and body were all wet from the water making you look more like a goddess. “You gonna go in the water?”

Billy shrugged, “and if I did who would really care.”

“I would care. I would like it if you would join us.” As you sat next to him you noticed a bruise on his face and neck. “Oh my god Billy what happened!” Your cold hands landed on his face as you brought him closer to you so you could inspect it more.

“Its nothing y/n, nothing for you to worry about.”

“Really nothing for me to worry about? Billy just because you’re an as* sometimes doesn’t mean I want you dead! Who did this to you?”

Billy didn’t answer.

“It was your fathe-that man again...was it?”

Billy tried looking away, his eyes getting filled with tears. “Yes.”

“God that son of a bitc* doesn’t deserve to be alive! Its terrible how he is treating you Billy, I want you to know that and understand that. I am here for you if you need anything.”

“I was um surprised.” Billy wiped his tears away, trying to change the subject.

“Surprised? About what?”

“You, you’re really comfortable in your own skin.”

“I gotcha, you would think with how I look that I feel down everyday or I think of myself as ugly. There was a time when I was like that, but everyday I convinced myself and told myself that I was beautiful and I was enough, that helped me and made me go through tough times in my life. I think that way about you Billy, you are enough. You are always enough.”

Billy gives you boyish smile, it actually seemed genuine.

“Its actually really hot.”

Your hip jutted out and you looked around, “yeah it is really hot I’m like sweating-”

“No not that hot, I mean you, the way you think about your body, the way you act like you own the world...its hot. Its sexy.”

“Oh,” you flirted back pulling your bottom swimsuit higher, showing more skin. “I think you’re pretty hot too.”

“We should work something out then before anybody else gets you,” Billy’s voice was rough, it sent chills down your spine. He grinned again and gave you a wink.

God this boy was gonna be the death of you.

Tag List: @harrington-lover, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @dreamsofwhiteandblack, @hyehoney, @wtfisalltherandoms, @haven-prelude, @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @polyglot-t, @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @collectiveyou

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doodling-doodler · 5 years

Photo

THE LOUDEST SHOW FANFIC

(PLEASE READ THROUGH THE WHOLE POST)

Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah Woah

Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for (woah)

Doodling Doodler here with a special message for all you guys! I. AM. BACK!!! I also have exciting news. Remember that little project I got? What was it… ah! The Loudest Show! Well guess what! The first chapter is out now!!! What are you waiting for? Looking at the art? Thank you by the way. Part of the first chapter is just down here. Oh wait before you do I give you ivanthestoryteller who wants to give you all 2 special messages. One just down here and the other all the way at the end of this post.

1vanth30s0m3/ivanthestoryteller: I’m not going to take up your time too much here. It’s been awhile since my last story wrapped up and here I am again. I’d like to thank doodler for the opportunity to work on this story. I understand that someone else has also been writing about this AU from doodler and I want it to be known that I’m not trying to steal ideas or even ride that person’s coattails. I simply wish to tell a good story. Hopefully you’ll stick around for the ending notes since I want to use that space for a more productive reason and will try to stick to those when I write out any more notes. Please enjoy the first chapter.

(Please come down and visit)

Story: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8482143/

Tumblr: https://ivanthestoryteller.tumblr.com/

Chapter 1 What is a man?

A young Lincoln waited on the couch in the reading room, just as his mother had instructed him. He tugged at the collar on his shirt, trying to loosen it so he wouldn’t feel strangled. The day was warm and the manor was just as such. He finally heard the clacking of shoes on the wood floor and turned to see his parents leading a girl who appeared two, maybe three years older than him. They all stopped in front of the couch, the girl standing in front of them. She had buckteeth and her hair was drawn into a braid. Lincoln didn’t know why she was there and eagerly awaited.

“Lincoln, as you know,” his father began, “we have considered how to go about your education. We finally have decided that a private tutor is the best option for you. However, we also know that you need other children to play with,” his father looked down and gestured towards the girl, “so we also decided to hire an apprentice to the maids. She will live here with the rest of the staff and fulfill her duties, but she will also be here to help keep you from feeling lonely.” The girl was wide-eyed, looking very nervous at the prospect of the future that awaited her. Lincoln only looked curious, stuck in a state of wonderment.

“Go on, Lincoln, say hello,” his mother instructed.

“Hi, I’m Lincoln,” he said.

“Hello, my name is Luan,” the girl said with a curtsy.

“Now, I do think it best for the two of you to get to know each other, so would you kindly show her around, Lincoln?” his father requested. Lincoln got off the couch and began an impromptu tour of the manor. He showed her every room, asking bits and pieces, not sure of what to really say. She was just as quiet, unsure of herself when responding. She noticed he was developing buck teeth, even if it was early, much like her. That was something they at least had in common.

“Why did you want to become a maid?” Lincoln asked. It was the only thing that felt right to say when he exhausted what little small talk he knew. She waited for a moment.

“My mom made me,” she replied, saddened. Lincoln only grew more curious to the answer.

“Why did she make you?” They had stopped in the middle of the hallway on the way to the north wing.

“She wanted to see me in a better place that would help take care of me,” Luan said. Lincoln was sure that he didn’t want to press that issue too much.

“Do you want to be with her?”

“Yes.” Luan looked at the floor. Lincoln thought quickly.

“Where are you from?” She looked up, her face reverting back to nervous.

“Royal Woods,” she spoke quietly, her voice distracted from her mother.

“Oh, that’s a quick train ride away,” he stated with realization.

“Have you been there?” Luan asked.

“No. I haven’t been able to go many places and my parents won’t let me visit places with them. But that’ll change in a few months.” He was jovial with the date for then.

“Do you want me to tell you about it?” He nodded fervently. They began their tour again, with her describing her hometown to him. He listened, marveling at her stories. She looked comfortable, as if she were in her own home and they were lifelong friends. Her voice was nice, as if he could listen to it for hours on end.

Lincoln enjoyed this memory, as he loved to remember meeting his best friend for the first time at the age of five. He enjoyed the games they played, although he enjoyed her company always, particularly when ditching their responsibilities. Though it had been a month on from when they met, they hid in a den that was rarely used by his family and just as touched by the staff. He didn’t like the schoolwork he had to do and she was trying to buy time before she had to do anything. She wore a white frilled cap, a simple gray dress, and the apron was not too far off from the cap in design. He was wearing an orange suit that was more to impress the tutor than to be comfortable.

“I don’t know why I ever have to wear this stupid suit. It does nothing but choke me,” Lincoln complained. Luan giggled a little.

“I like it. Orange seems to be your color.” He looked at her with an empty warning in his eyes.

“If you like it, then why don’t you wear it?” he jested. She laughed a little.

“I would but I’m afraid I would be mistaken for a savage, much like you,” she delivered with a wide grin. He laughed, knowing her words were meant only for tickling him.

“I’m still wondering who took the pies from the kitchen,” he rhetorically declared.

“I don’t know, but three butlers certainly found them.” Lincoln laughed harder, remembering how all three were covered in the varying pie fillings. She joined him in laughter, enjoying her handiwork. “I wish everyone could laugh like this all the time,” she said in between giggles. He looked over at her, coming down from the giddiness.

“You want to see the world happy all the time?”

“Yeah. I only wish to make the world happy,” she spoke with a bittersweet tone.

“That’s what you’d love to do, huh?” He never knew before now.

“Yep.” She pulled out something small from her pocket. He saw it had many sides, all of which were yellow, dangling from a small string. “I’ve got my wish right here: to see everyone happy and to bring it to them.” She was smiling grandly. He saw her conviction of wanting to carry out the dream and saw the item go back into her pocket. He looked on at her, wondering if her dream could ever be fulfilled.

He stared, still, his face solemn and stony. He saw the caskets, ready to be lowered after some final words. He held the hand of Lily, his newborn sister. Lincoln wanted her to be able to see their parents one last time before interment, helping to build a chair for her carriage so she could look at them. His mother’s words were always fresh whenever he saw Lily. Promise me you’ll look after Lily, he heard her say with a voice growing weaker and weaker, all happening right after her delivery of her daughter. He promised her and she gave one final breath, smiling as she heard his words. He made sure he would keep his promise, always checking on her and tending to her if he heard her.

Luan was right beside him, looking worse than he was, tearing up but not sobbing, unlike some of the staff who were. He told them it wasn’t mandatory to attend and he would understand if they wished not to, but all of them came. The mourners at the funeral were clothed in black garb. The crowd heard the pastor clear his throat and begin the last step of his job for the event.

“These poor souls were taken from us, beginning with the passing of Lynn Loud, of whom had passed away on the twelfth of April, in the year of our Lord eighteen-hundred and eighty-two. On the nineteenth of April, in the same year, Rita Loud passed away and has joined her husband. They were kind souls in life and so shall be in Heaven.” The sky was gray but no other sign of rain coming was present. “I do believe that the book of Ecclesiastes has some important words for all of us and are most fitting for any occasion. I shall now recite chapter three, verses one through eight.” He cleared his throat again. “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance...”

Lincoln listened to the pastor. He waited for the man to be done, carefully observing each word he spoke. The words brought some comfort, but he wished not for comfort. He wished he could carry on with his parents being there for when he needed them most. And now he needed to be there when they needed him most. The pastor finished his services and approached Lincoln.

“My condolences, Mr. Loud,” he spoke, voice filled with the same solemnity he kept from before.

“Thank you, Pastor Mannard,” Lincoln replied. His voice was low.

“I’ll go ahead and retrieve the gravediggers for their burial. Are you sure you wish to stay around?” the pastor asked.

“I wish to see things through and give them the first shovelful of dirt,” he replied, still low with his voice.

“Then I shall be back in a moment.” The pastor left, going to where the diggers were. Luan put a hand on his shoulder.

“Do you want me to take Lily back to the mansion?” Her voice sounded broken, trying hard to keep itself together. She noticed the staff heading back and wondered what Lincoln would like to do.

“No, let her be until I head back myself.” He moved toward their gravestones, Luan pulling her hand away. She moved closer to Lily, staying within arm’s reach of her. Lincoln stood before the deceased, looking over their gravestones to check for any imperfection.

A good wife and perfect mother, letting no one else say otherwise, he read on the stone for his mother. He made sure the words were perfect, wanting to never disrespect her memory.

A kind husband and an even greater father, he read on the stone for his father. The same case could made here. The pastor returned with his two assistants, spades in hand. They lowered the couple into the holes, taking extreme care with doing so. True to his word, Lincoln gave the first portion of dirt to his mother and the next portion to his father, handing back the spade. He walked away, Luan and Lily in tow. He could hear the movement of dirt until he could hear no more, mostly since a set of walls blocked the sounds.

“Take Lily to her wet-nurse and please tell the staff that I don’t wish to disturbed for the rest of the day,” he told Luan after entering the foyer, the door barely being closed behind them. She nodded and he went to the den his father used almost all the time. Luan did precisely as instructed, informing those who needed to know and ensuring that Lily was to be taken care of before leaving her to see Lincoln. She opened the door with no warning and stepped in.

“May I come in?” she asked, unsure if he would entertain the thought of having her there at this time. He turned to see that it was indeed her before turning back and giving his response.

“Please do,” he spoke quietly from his seat. She moved in farther after shutting the door with a soft thunk. “It’s quite surreal, sitting here,” he spoke again.

“How so?” she indulged the pleasantry, sure of what the answer might be.

“He would always sit there,” Lincoln gestured at the giant, empty seat on the other side of the desk in front of him, “tending to any and all matters that were for business. I never saw him within this room without his presence on that side.” He rested his head in one hand as he looked at the floor. “I’ll never see him standing there again. He filled that seat, but now...” He turned to Luan and she saw his facade slowly breaking down. “But now… I’m not even sure I can fill it. Not even sure I want to fill it.” She stood behind him and clasped a hand upon his shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ll figure this out in due time,” she said, trying her best to comfort him. “Maybe so, but… there’s just so much to do,” he voiced with grave concern. “I have to assume control over my father’s business ventures, I have to make sure the estate isn’t just suddenly taken away, I have to make sure Lily is taken care of, all the while with me needing to put bread on the table for everyone here.” He looked back down. “Luan, I’m ill-prepared to be Master of the Estate.”

“We all have faith in you, Lincoln,” she said to soothe his woes. “You might not be prepared but I know you’ll succeed. You always do.” She finished with a giant smile showing off her buckteeth. He returned one that was weak, but it was still a smile nonetheless.

“Thank you, Luan, for your kind words,” he said. “However, I must ask you follow suit with the other staff and allow me to be alone for the rest of the day. I apologize if I sound unreasonable.”

“Not at all. I’ll let you know if an emergency arises and requires your attention,” she said and gave truth to her words by letting him be. With the door closed behind her, she set off for her normal rounds, checking to see if anyone was in need of company or wished to check on their employer’s emotional state. She left each room since not one spec of dust or dirt could found and everyone was given the same information when she encountered them. Finally, she walked into Lily’s room, sure there was something to pass the time there.

“How is Master Lincoln fairing?” the woman holding Lily as she herself sat in the rocking chair asked. Her age was certainly not large in number, though it was possible for her to be a grandmother (albeit, a young one at that), her hair reflecting this slightly and the formation of wrinkles barely taking root.

“He seems to be doing better than yesterday but the toll is still plain to see,” Luan responded from a chair stationed near the door. “I’m assuming that tomorrow, Lincoln will wish to be left alone in his room.”

“That’s Master Lincoln. He’s the head of the estate now; you must show him the proper respect his position carries,” the woman scolded her.

“I am showing him respect. He had the title thrust upon him and is still trying to get used to holding it. He wishes that his father still held it,” Luan said, defending her choice in words. The woman sighed.

“I suppose your words have merit, but that does not mean you should be used to speaking with a lack of title in your address of him.” Luan couldn’t argue her words. For as much as Lincoln was her friend, it was inevitable that he would simply become less so and then she would either have to leave or deal with it as her only paths.

“Fair enough,” Luan submitted. “But for now, it’s reasonable.” The older woman chuckled.

“That stubbornness will either put you on the streets or take you to the top of society,” the woman said as she stifled her laughing.

“And I’ll gladly accept such a fate, Ms. Agnis,” Luan spoke with confidence. With the time passing by quickly the more she conversed, night soon fell and she, along with all other members of the manor (to her knowledge), turned in so as to rise in the morning.

However, the next day was still as dreary as the previous one. Lincoln refused to have her as company, something she had expected and so she waited for the next day, and then the next day. And the one after that. It was at long last on the fourth day that she set her mind to disturbing her good friend in his time away from it all.

“Lincoln?” she called from her side of a large door after a quick rap. There was nothing. She repeated her actions, calling a second time, still gaining no response. “I’m coming in,” she warned as she tried the knob. It gave no resistance to her entrance. She entered and saw Lincoln slumped in a chair, his clothes still surrounding him as if he had been productive through the night. He had severe bags under his eyes and the occasional snore let her know he was still breathing. “Wake up, Lincoln.”

“What’s the time?” he asked as he roused at her hand’s behest.

“Time for breakfast,” she answered. He rubbed his eyes to rid them of sleep.

“Send it up then,” he responded, beginning to sit up and get some life into his limbs.

“Everyone’s worried about you,” she informed him. He paused and looked at her, his eyes barely focused.

“I’ll be down in a few minutes, then,” he conceded, slumping forward in the seat. She began to make her way out of the room so as to give him the space for his own needs but was stopped just before the door. “Tell everyone they’re more than welcome to join me, though I suspect I won’t be down there for long,” he added on. She nodded and went to spread the news. Almost all of the staff declined such an offer, the only one willing to accept being Ms. Agnis, on the conditions that she not be served anything.

Enough time passed to cause Luan to wonder if she would have to go back to retrieve her friend when he showed up. His clothes were more put together and fresher looking, but he still had a disheveled look to his head. She knew better than to point it out, seeing how him arriving was an achievement in and of itself. He took his seat and bowed his head so as to stare at the table. Luan delivered his breakfast directly to him.

“How’s the meal, Lincoln?” she asked after a few bites were taken. It was a simple testing of the waters, meant mostly to be done in stealth behind kind words.

“Quite good. Thank you,” he replied with little life in his words. She had taken a seat beside him, something she was rarely afforded a chance to do.

“That’s good to hear,” Luan said, unsure what else to truly do. He continued to eat the meal in peace, leaving with barely a word at the end of it. Luan followed him, even after he ducked into his room and tried to shut the door behind himself.

“I wish to be in peace,” he spoke with slight annoyance, turning around and seeing who he had given such a command to. “My apologies. I didn’t see you there.”

“There’s no need to be sorry. I completely understand,” she replied. He turned back to sit in his chair once more.

“I do wish to be alone,” he said in a much calmer tone. She ignored this and went directly to him, standing by his side as he sat at his desk.

“I’m worried about you,” she said, her tone showing it. “I haven’t seen you smile in an eternity.”

“Luan, now is not the right time–”

“I’m not leaving until I see a smile on your face, Lincoln.” She delivered the ultimatum and he knew that he was in for a fight to be rid of her. “Did you hear about the man wandering a police station? Apparently when he was stopped and asked why he was there, he said he didn’t have the faintest clue.” She saw the twinges of a smile touch the edges of his mouth and used this as a hope to keep pressing on. “Did you hear about the other man wandering the police station? He was trying to find someone to talk to about his pole’s lease”, she delivered, allowing a smile to touch her lips. Lincoln was trying quite hard to suppress the smile he was developing.

“Please, Luan,” he begged. She ignored him.

“Three men and a dwarf walk into a bar,” she began. A knock at the door to the room interrupted her. They both looked toward the door.

“Enter,” Lincoln called. The door opened to reveal a member of staff, a butler by the name of Drewson.

“There’s someone here who requests to meet you, sir,” he spoke, his very voice unsure if he should have even alerted the Master of the Estate to this guest and instead to have sent the person packing at the door.

(Go see the other half of the story at https://www.fanfiction.net/u/8482143/)

1vanth30s0m3/ivanthestoryteller: That was quite something. If you enjoyed it, then hopefully you’ll stick around for the rest of the story. I’ve never written an AU nor have I ever dreamed I would. I’d like to take this time to say that I’m probably going to get these chapters released very slowly, so hopefully I’ll be able to keep to a schedule of no more than every three months (I’m not joking). At least until I finish everything and then I’ll up the releases. I’d also like to take this time to recommend stories to you, dear reader. The first two stories go against my personal criteria for this section, but I’ll also be putting in two instead of one, so nothing will be as I want it to be in the future as I have it now. The first story is “Loud Like Love” by ThisAccountKillsFascists. I think I forgot to mention them in the last story I wrote and so I’m just being safe here. The second story I want to recommend is “A Sister’s Love” by (current name) Outsider316. Both can be found on fanfiction.net and are great stories. I really think you should check them out. In the future, I’ll be aiming for stories with under 50 favorites and 50 follows as well as less than 100 reviews from the same site. Other than that, tell me or doodler what you think about this story either here or on fanfiction.net. Reviews and/or pm’s are greatly appreciated.

Doodler here, now many of you fine ladies and gents know I had been absent for a while well that’s because recently I have been out of a job and had been struggling to make ends meet which is not a good thing when you are the constant whipping boy of that jerk called depression. I apologized for the delay and what I am about to do. I will be setting up some of the old fundraising sites like patreon. Not looking for much nor do I have a plan. All I will ask is just some small amount like a dollar, not even per month just a one time donation to help keep the lights on.

But have no fear! I will still be producing more content regardless!

The Loudest Show is a go!!!

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uncovereliminate · 5 years

Text

Splicers

Since I needed to do some research for a project I will be starting soon, I decided to put everything I found interesting about Splicers in one compact post for me to always find it back.

General Splicers

Thuggish Splicer

Leadhead Splicer

Spider Splicer

Nitro Splicer

Houdini Splicer

Because of the way this game works, a lot of the ‘standard’ splicers listed above use either the Splicer-models I am getting into further into this post or the standard model showing on their wiki.

Baby Jane

Came to Rapture to make it big in show business, but ended up having to resort to other means to get by. Can be heard constantly questioning the reality of the situation happening around her and regretting her loss of beauty.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"Get away from my face!" [Screams] "Not on my face!"

"Look at yourself! And you would do it too!"

"Why did you cut me?! Why?!"

"It's my part! Mine!"

"Stop ogling me!"

"You're making me lose my place! STOP IT!"

"Get your FAT. HANDS. AWAY FROM ME!"

"Just say something, goddammit!"

"Honey? Is that you…?"

"I'm sorry… We can do it together!"

"DARLING! I'M HOME EARLY!"

"I don't- I don't wanna- I don't wanna hear this… I- [Whimpering] I don't want to hear this…"

"Pretend you're not interested. They like that."

"He's gone! They always leave…"

"He left, he left, he left, left, left! He left! He left!"

"Came here to be a star! Came here to be a star- Not too late, not too late!"

"Mr. Ryan's gonna notice me, and I'm gonna be a star! It's not too late, not too late!"

"I used to be beautiful. What happened to me?!"

[Laughs] "And even that was a bad performance."

[Crying] "They'll be okay, right?! I mean, it was just- it was just an accident!"

"Tell me you love me! Go on, say it!"

"Someone shou- should do this for me, someone should be doing this for me!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"Ow—! And I— used to love bees!"

"I had real talent!"

"I had innocence- I was innocent!"

"I had innocence! You took my innocence!"

"Parasite! Paparazzi!"

"Stop — STARING!"

"You're a plain little girl! Plain- too plain."

"This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Only geniuses get saved, lunkhead!"

"Your memories? Yeah, we don't need 'em."

"Why would you bring a kid?!"

"Send your daughter home, freak!"

"Just me and the roaches."

"Rejection." [Cries]

"I don't understand." [Cries]

"To have seen what I have seen… see what I see…"

"I worked hard to look this good, and they still appreciate it… some of them…"

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, la da di da da da [Hums] nothing like a good old picture show…"

"Siren Alley [Sigh] well, the rent is cheap and there's work."

"Can we try that scene over? I forgot my line."

The Breadwinner

A wanna-be big-shot who thinks money and fame are everything. He's convinced himself that Rapture’s downfall was just a small problem in his ultimate goal.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"Finally. [coughs] Happy."

"I was right, I tell ya. I was right, god damn it."

"Come on! Just- just let me explain, will ya?"

[Disgusted noise] "I'm too busy for this shit."

"She should not have come here."

"Ah, a man can start a business down here, yeah. Now now, it's- it's not too late. I'll get to it."

"Yeah. Yeah, Ryan's gonna stake me, huh? Yeah! No, he- he'll stake us all. Just give it some time. Yeah, just a little time."

"It's just a bad quarter. Naw, that's all. Yeah, market'll come back, huh? Yeah! Everything'll be fine. Yeah, it'll all be fine… Augh."

"You think that I'm dumb? Sure, sure, why not? You keep on thinkin' that."

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"You can’t take this from me!"

"Think you can take what’s mine?!"

"I ain’t gettin’ reborn with you, no way."

He also has very gross misogynistic lines that are uh... interesting for his character, but I don’t want to be near them with a ten-foot pole, so you can check out the wiki-page for those.

"I ain’t lost my touch, just look at me! I’m a king down here, a king! Yeah!"

"You think I’m that dumb?! Sure, sure, why not. You keep thinking that!"

"The business world’s ruthless, kid. Get used to it."

Dr. Grossman

A roaming medical professional who’s use of ADAM twisted his germophobia into something horrific. He can be seen trying to destroy/murder anything he deems unclean/unhealthy.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"You're infecting this whole place!"

"You keep away from my patients!"

"You're crawling with disease!"

"Well, he won't get any better that way."

"I'm- I'm covered in his filth! DISGUSTING!"

"I've got patients to see, no time for distractions!"

"The subject… appears to have been ripped apart from the inside… probably a failed teleport."

"I- I try to help, but- sometimes I- I make mistakes… I try to help! But sometimes I- I make mistakes."

"I hate the babies, the most. They come out covered in death."

"I like the prestige, but I don't like the germs. The germs, they-they get under your nails, they crawl around at night."

"It's unsanitary in here, filthy! Come, let me take care of you."

"Haven't slept in weeks."

"Typical behavior for someone with your condition!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"My services, for free? [laughs] Get out!"

"I no longer require your services… nurse."

"Don't dare get your disease on me!"

"I killed [coughs] lost you! Once already."

"I guess it was just the wind… or was it a dream?"

"I gave up on helping people long ago, but I still ease their suffering.

"Might as well call me an undertaker these days… But, it suits me just fine."

"I come away from that damn clinic smelling like death. Everywhere! It smells like death!"

"Wait, my scrubs! All a-tatter?! Wha-what's happened here?"

"The thing about genes, they're just germs, and we're all crawling with them, all of us."

"Eternity will be so clean. So clean! So very, very clean!"

"The days are getting shorter! No no, that's not right!"

Ducky

A bitter lonely old man with a lot of prejudice who works security around Rapture. Becomes a devout part of ‘The Family’ during Bioshock II.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"He-hey? Hello? I'm here." [Crying]

"Poor sucker… my soul… my soul."

"They'll never find out about this. It's all gone away."

"Stop this… this isn't what ya think it is."

"Those stupid kids… they don't even know."

"Somebody gotta keep order around this place. If not, it'll go to the parasites."

"All these parasites want a piece of this place. And we gotta guard the borders, we gotta keep 'em out."

"They want what we got. And we gotta defend what's ours!"

"The parasites, the papists, the race mixers- I got my eye on all of them!"

"I'm just lonely! I— I'm lonely!"

"Down on the ground! DOWN ON THE GROUND!"

"You can run, but we'll find you! We run this place from tips to toes!"

"Oh… gimme my hat, Emma. Sweet mother of mercy!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"Fuck it! God dammit! I hate bees!"

"Not the blood of the Son... my blood!"

"You wear the mark of the beast!"

"¡Qué estúpido!"

"¡Por favor! Help me!"

"¡Aye, Madonna mia! I'm bleeding!"

The rest is all religious rambling, and tbh ?? I have no time for it. Ducky really annoys me.

Lady Smith

One of the upper-class matrons of Rapture and pretty much a WASP stereotype. (I really don’t like her.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"Darling, is that you?"

"Hello? Oh, get the door, Sydney!"

"Nothing there, but we should bring in the hounds from the stables, just the same."

"Audrey, Michelle, Peter, Thomas, William, Joseph… no wait, n-not Peter."

"My dear elite, no, distinguished friends. I've finally found the answer we've all been looking for!"

"Too introverted for anyone to notice."

"Charles! I think the negro cook's been stealing. It's always like that with the coloreds. Take, take, take."

"They always arrive with out-stretched hands. They're a tuneful people, I'll grant you, but so lazy."

"It's not like those people in Apollo Square. Animals, every one of them!"

"They talk talk talk, but in the end they've got nothing to offer society. Just more mouths to feed."

"Look at him, just lying there! Another parasite!"

"Run away! You people will never amount to anything!"

"You know what they do to vagrants in Rapture? They hang them!"

"You think you can just take what you want? This isn't the jungle!"

"There's proper folk, here. You don't fit in."

"It's always the same with you parasites, looking for a hand out."

"Yes, Dr. Steinman. Uh, no Dr. Steinman… sorry, Dr. Steinman."

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"Audrey, Michelle, Peter, Thomas, William, Joseph… Oh, no! No no no! Wait, not Peter!"

"I'm writing down your name, you filth!"

"The times may be unkind, but did you have to take our home? I raised my children there! Bastards!"

"I'm surrounded by them, and yet they can tell… I'm their better! They know it… I know it!"

"Three children. Yes, three little angels, all gone now. I wonder if they miss their mommy?"

"I'll not associate with your kind."

"This is an outrage! AN OUTRAGE!"

"Lester, where is my doll…?"

Toasty

I hope you guys will forgive me and also understand that I will honor the memory of Henry R. Lumley as he actually was and not as the horrible person the Bioshock devs painted him as.

I am still really disgusted by the fact that they would use his face as the model for Toasty (a literal murderer/rapist!) and never even asked his surviving family members if they could do such.

So I will skip this one, hope you don’t mind.

Pigskin

A young American football player pressured to Splice to become a better athlete. Unlike most Splicers, they seem to have partial awareness of what is happening to them.

(Honestly ?? they’re my personal favorites.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"Uh, baby…? I'm- I'm… I'm all calmed down, now… Okay? So-… Just open?! Would ja- shit!"

"Hey, come on- come on… Joey's gone, alright? You- you could come out, now."

"Not today, Dad, alright? I mean god damn!"

"Eh, Mom…? Mom…? I- it's er-"

"It's alright, Dad. It's alright, Dad."

"It's cold… Stay- stay focused, stay whatever, stay in the game. Stay."

[Chuckle] "Oh, shit. Hey, Dad, check this out!"

"I… I know you… No, I- I know you. I- I- I know I know you. You're- you're- you're that guy with the writing."

"It- it's different, this time, ya know? Really, it is. It- it certainly is."

"I'm good enough…! Why don't you believe it?"

"I'm tryin', Mr. Ryan. Please don't judge me! Please!"

"Look at me, Mr. Ryan. I- I've got nothin' left to give."

"Mom…? Dad…? Can you come get me?"

"It hurts… It- it- it hurts just to breathe."

"He's an intruder… and- and they make us kill intruders."

"I just wanna go to sleep… Just wanna go to sleep, I just wanna go to sleep."

"They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see!"

"I do what I'm told! I just do what I'm told! I always just do what I'm told!"

"Where are you?! They'll kill me if I don't find you!"

"Better come out! It- it'll go easier for both of us!"

"Please, come on out! It'll be so much worse if you hide!"

"Do you have any idea what they'll do if I don't find you?!"

"Yeah, am I entertaining you? Great! Is this fun to watch?!"

"Mom. Mom? Look what I've done. Mom?"

"I did it, okay? He's dead! Now just leave me alone!"

"Why did you make me do it? Why?"

"There! He's dead! Now just shut up!"

"It's over, okay? It's over! Now just get out of my head!"

"It hurts! It hurts! Jesus, it hurts!"

Plastered Splicer

Splicers that fell victim to being turned into Cohen’s art-work. There are no specifics on how this exactly happened or how they function and are even still alive, but they are and they’re scary as feck.

Rosebud

A female worker frantically looking for her lost child (who has most likely been turned into a Little Sister). She is known as ‘ruthless and deceptive’, being one of the few Splicer-types that can actually set traps.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"Behind every door, an opportunity is so dangerous. "

"A floor, one two three four six seven… twelve thirteen thirty-four twenty-seven."

"She's still breathing… Oh, of course she is, she's just a child…"

"Shh… Oh, no… Of course you're not dying, my little one. You're just a baby… Babies don't die."

"No… they won't take you… you're just a- a little child."

"But she's my little girl… She has my eyes, can't you see?"

"Ah, don't hurt her! No, please! Take me, instead!"

"Oh, please… please… you don't want my girl. She's no use to you… can't you take… the neighbor's girl, instead?"

"Take me! Take my body! Take anything! Just don't hurt- take my little one!"

"Wake up, sleepy. [Chuckle] They're gone… Please? Please…? Please?!"

"I have time monster. I have all the time in the ocean."

"Kislány! Are you there, little child?"

"Sweetness? Mama's here to hold you."

"Sweetheart…? Where are you…? Come out, please… Mama just wants to hold you."

"Why would you take my little one?!"

Waders

The model for the secretly religious zealot from Bioshock (pretty much the same function as Ducky from Bioshock II) he believes he is avenging angel serving an angry God by punishing the sinful denizens of Rapture.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK DIALOGUE

"You'll open up if you know what's good for you!"

"Open up! ¡Ay! Qué mierda."

"I traded You, oh Lord, for Mammon, and what did it get me, huh?!"

"I'm sorry, Father! I'll do what You say, I-I'll do what You say!"

"Even miles under water, He still sees everything, sees everything, sees everything, sees everything, sees everything!"

[Singing] "Jesus loves me, this I know; for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong!"

And other religious stuff.

Brute

A result of Splicing with a concoction of Sports Boost and Armored Shell Gene Tonics. Brutes are very aggressively masculine and homophobic, which is revealed to be internalized homophobia once you Hypnotize him and he flirts with Delta. (I could not make this shit up.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"A million little pricks- fuck, fuck! Leave me be!"

"Fucking sodomites everywhere."

"I know what you're thinkin'."

"Not my bloody type, luv."

"Oh, you're pissin' yourself now, eh?"

"You're mine now, lil' girl."

"I'm top man down here!"

"We're just mates, you titface!"

"Clip your wings, ya fairy!"

[Chuckles] "Oh, he wants a tussle."

"She's gonna watch me do ya, son!"

"Who's the daddy NOW, son!?"

"Suit don't make you a man."

"I feel… nothin'…"

"Peace, quiet, solitude. Proper solitude."

"These fuck's gotta bring more in, or I'll hafta…" [Chuckles] "I'll hafta start teaching 'em. Ooh…"

"We can start over down here, once we drown out all the buggers and the queens. It'll be real men only."

"Some thoughts are just wrong. Nasty thoughts. Gotta stomp them thoughts right out!"

"Doctor Lamb says to embrace the man in the mirror. How bloody queer is that?"

"Sander Cohen. There was a man! Sharp suit, good mustache, took no guff!"

"Lass wanted me to try wrestlin' before the city started pissin' itself, but I don't go in for all that touchin' and sweatin'. I'm a boxin' man."

(Just to point out, this is him after being hypnotized)

"I love you, ya lil' shite. I do."

"Jus' tell me who to kill, guv."

"Feel so—what you call it—comfortable witcha."

"Nice to have a proper mate at last."

"Partners, yeah? I like the sound of that."

"I like a man what keeps his mystery."

"Mates, right? Mates. Yeah."

"Do anything for ya. I mean that."

"Right, guv, let's get into some nasty."

"I'd look a poof in that suit, but you carry it."

"Shite! Gah! You fucked me 'ead!"

"Lyin' lil' mince! I trusted ya!"

The Mother

A very overprotective mom who sees herself as very nurturing and self-sacrificing, but is fairly possessive and restrictive in actuality.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"Nothing could happened to my boy, I made him wear his best scarf today… he's bundled up tight!"

"I would never leave him with the sitter, they're all perverts."

"Wake up son. You worry me when you sleep so deeply."

"Gonorrhea, that's what you'll get. And there's no cure but the madhouse."

"Franklin, get Mother's cream out of the armoire. I need you to do your magic."

"Franklin, why don't you come over and rub mother's feet? They're barking."

"Friends? Of course he's got friends, but I always come first."

"There's no relationship like mother and son, it's deeply intimate."

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!"

"I'd like to see you run away, you wouldn't last the night!"

"No one'll ever love you as much as me!"

"I only worry so much because I love you!"

"I raised you better than this!"

"What's mothering but a thankless job?"

The Performer

A singer who hasn’t had work in a while, but never let it dampen his spirit.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"Yeah, folks always stare when I make the scene… You get used to it!"

"I told Sander Cohen, I'm always ready to cut a record or put on a show! Said he'd call."

"Yeah… Those old numbers sure got some high notes. But I got something new in the works!"

"I been on sabbatical for… goin' on 15 years now… I got some work, but I want to get back to real acting!"

"I warned you to stop following me!"

"Hello? You from the "Stars and Screen" magazine?"

"Don't leave me! Not again!"

The Social Darwinist

A doctor of psychiatry who advocates for the survival of the fittest and evolutionary superiority no matter the cost. (Hate this sob.)

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"That's right… Cry like a baby. Your mother didn't love you… Why should she? What did you ever do to earn it? Nothing."

"You were the worst kind of parasite! Only taking, giving nothing in return! That you were a child means nothing!"

"Do you know what they call men who shy from adversity in war-time? Deserters… They shoot them… And rightly so!"

"Very painful, I assure you… But you will be hardier for it! More highly evolved! Superhuman!"

"No it's not the strongest that survive, but the fittest! Those most capable of change! A good start is thinking for yourself…"

"Did you come to Rapture because it seemed fashionable?! Or did you intend to make something of yourself? If you don't keep ahead of the rest you'll be resigned to follow."

"If you're going to disappear before my diagnosis, why did you come in the first place?!"

The Small Business Owner

Okay, I take back everything I was about to say about The Salesman, this is Sinclair 2.0! The description literally says ‘This businessman is willing to do whatever it takes to thrive, even if it's technically illegal.’ JFC, they could have at least tried.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"So I greased a few palms here an' there, time-to-time… What of it? I've been told this town is friendly to free enterprise!"

"'Fat Cat'? If that's what they call a fella who's prosperous?! Determined?! Uncompromising?! Then, FINE! The shoe fits! You got me."

"Criminal Dealings?! [short laugh] Fallacy! Misdirection! From those afraid to let the market take its natural course."

"You ain't no big shot round here!"

"Push me? I push right back!"

"You'll never amount to nothing!"

[short laugh] "I'm gonna bring you to heel!"

The Beauty Queen / King

A woman who recites her prepared speech for the Rapture Pageant.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"I'm just honored to be in the competition and… gee, I hope you like me… Because I'd like nothing more than to be Miss Rapture 1958…"

"Mother always says it's important to be yourself, so here I am, 100% the genuine article."

"Well, he's gotta be handsome AND smart and self-assured like Andrew Ryan… [short laugh] And good with his hands like Dr. Steinman!"

"No need to hide. I'm 'a regular person.' Just like you!"

"Butterflies in your stomach? C'mere. I have just the thing!"

(male variant)

"We're all adults… Nothing we can't work around with a little elbow grease."

"Women don't care for character anymore. It's all money and looks."

"Hello? You from "Star and Screen" magazine?"

Ryan Security Agent

Men and women handpicked by Sullivan to maintain order and keep the city safe from potential threats. There’s not much else known about this specific character model.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"Atlas' followers have been living on borrowed time if you ask me. Who knows, maybe Ryan got tired of footing the bill for this place."

"Told Ryan he should've given each of these clowns a bullet, not a prison."

"Guy made a city at the bottom of the ocean, and they thought it was a wise idea crossing him."

"We get in, disappear the girl and Atlas' crew, back before happy hour."

"I'm smart enough to know Ryan's smarter than all of us."

"You judge a man by his enemies? Then Ryan doesn't amount to much."

"Fontaine's followers put up a good fight at the fisheries. I'd expected more from this lot."

"What did you think was gonna happen? You cross Ryan and get off scot-free?"

Misc.

Didn’t really feel like getting into the Crawlers, Buttons, Heady, The Hypochondriac, The Ex-Boyfriend, The Schoolteacher, Frosty Splicers, Houdini, Survivors and Jockey Splicers because they either feel uninteresting to me or are super area restricted.

#*mine #splicers #bioshock

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cherry-slushie-cosplay-blog · 5 years

Text

Freshman Year Quotes

Ok so I did a list of all the stupid shit I heard in my Freshman year of high school. Enjoy.

(T) - Teacher (AP) - Freshman Assistant Principal

FRESHMAN YEAR ----

"Any weeb brethren, see me after class I want to be friends." *class is totally silent* "*loudly* I have a seven inch penis." "I'm a farmer bitch I will throw my crops at you." "You can teach tiny cil- chilr- chilud- chiluden, wait what?" "I'm telling Jesus!" "Jesus already knows." "(T) Use your 5 sols! Haha, get it? Like soul?" "Bold of you to assume I have any at all." "HE CALLED ME THE N-WORD, HE CALLED- oh shit you're a girl my bad I'm just messing around trying to get someone in trouble. Have a nice weekend!" "Eins, zwei, drei, vier, fünf, sechs, sieben, acht...FUCK!" "How do you make an equilateral square?" "I think my back has scoliosis." "I've got a bag of chicken." "Why do you have a bag of chicken?" "Because. Why do you have a bottle with mangos on it?" "This- this is mango-flavored tea!" "AND THIS IS CHICKEN-FLAVORED BAG" "...and some condoms have spermicide which kills off the sperm. Don't ask me how I know all that, Mrs. ********." "Are you from Russian?" "Sit your ADHD-filled ass down." "If we were in hell, do you really think I would be here?" "(T) Yes." (T) "Is stupid written on your forehead?" "I don't know, is it written on yours?" "His forehead's big enough for it." "That looks like an orgy pile over there." "Why do you guys always sit behind me?" "If we want to kill you, you won't see it coming." "Is this what Julius Caesar felt like?" "You're so tiny! You look like a doll!" "And you look like a cock-riding motherfucker." " Technically, time is a construct." "Technically, none of this matters and we're all gonna die soon." "Will you two shut up please?" (T) "My 2019 has been completed, I made a student cry." (This was January 10th btw) (T) "As long as you do your best and turn that in, you'll be fine." "What if my best sucks and I get a bad grade?" "Ok that was good I'm gonna give you that." "I'm gonna put on black lipstick and go to sleep." *Aggressively singing Dream Daddy For Me* "What's that?" "A grapefruit." "Bitch that ain't a grape." "No, grapeFRUIT." "It looks like you put Kool Aid in an orange." "Dude it's called a grapefruit." "No, fuck you and your Kool Aid orange." "I ate a mouse dongle." "Why the fuck would you do that?" "I don't know, I just did." "Racism is my bitch. I bend racism over and take it from behind." "A function is an input and a function...oh wait hold on I messed up- stop laughing at me I got this." "James Charles did one of Bob Ross's tutorials on his forehead." "So he has a big forehead-" "Shut the hell up ***** no one cares." "The answer was D! D as in 'Dinosaur chicken nuggets'!" (T) "What are the first ten amendments?" "I know the ten COMMANDments." "No one cares, we're not in Christian school." "YES WE ARE HAIL MARY" (T) "Do your work or the Lord may strike you." *this was at the religious girl from the previous quote* "What time is it?" "It's fuckin uhhhhh noon o 5." "Noon o 5?" "I forgot the word twelve." "I SEE HEADLIGHTS" "Hm?" "Headlights is nipples." "If this is a test I'm gonna throw myself out the window. I was about to go to the hospital this weekend and I'm still gonna make it happen." "I won't T-Pose for dominance but I will screech and make your eardrums bleed." "Does anyone remember Llamas With Hats?" 4 people: "caAAARRLLLLL" "Pagans terrify me." "Why?" "Every pagan I know of is a furry." "sKeDaDdLe SkAdOoDlE yOuR dIcK iS nOw A nOoDlE" "NO NOT IN MATH CLASS" "Doodlebops." "shUT THE FUCK UP" "I watched that yesterday, I have it on DVD." "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE DOODLEBOPS ON DVD" (T) *random Chewbacca noise* "My brain is smaller than my dick." "If you feel stupid, you should." "What about King Solomon?" (T) "What has Solomon ever done for America?" "What have YOU ever done for America?" "Nothing should be in your mouth unless it's a banana." "What type of banana?" "A yellow one, duh." *laughter* "Or a green one, whichever you like more." (T) "For the people who I'm signing these for: are you going to the farm-" "YES WE FINNA BE COWBOYS" (T) "What y'all playing over there?" "Chess." (T) "I hope you lose." (T) "If you're stupid, it's your fault." (T) "Let's go guys!" "hoLD ON I'M SAVING MY POKEMON GAME" "There's people taking pictures down there - should I pour Monster on them?" "When you gave me my pencil I was like 'I like Zoe, she's nice' in my brain and then my brain somehow connected that to 'You tryna smash?' and another part of my brain said 'No, stop, she'd cut your dick off'." "That's the strangest intrusive thought I've ever heard from a friend." "How many of y'all think I'm gay?" *about 6 people raise their hands* "Ok then." "May I please go to the bathroom?" (T) "You just have to get out of here at any chance you get, don't you?" "I'm serious, I'm really hungry, does anyone have any food?" "I have lotion." "Fuck you." (T) "OH MY GOD SHE HAS TAP SHOES CAN YOU DANCE???" "...no" (T) "YOU STILL LOOK GOOD" *watching Sorcerer's Stone* "Who's at the window?" *ta-da it's Malfoy* "Oh it's a blonde-headed lesbian." "Shit fuck goddammit bitch pussy fucking Jesus Christ." "I have ibuprofen, you know." "Nah, I'm good." "I'm a lil loli short and flat~ My head is for pat- wait fuck what was it" "Hello~ my fuCKING HIP OW" "Are you ok?" "I popped my hip...Hello, my name is Elder Price~" (T) "Here, it's legal to marry your 2nd cousin twice removed." "I'm doing it." (T) "******** no-" "Fuck (insert name of school district), man. On my mom." "I wanna fucking die I hate this class." "No. I look like Jesus, I'm telling you no. Therefore, Jesus says no and you're not allowed to die." (T) "How else could we have solved this?" "With a calculator." "Did Diego steal his money from Dora?" (T) "I don't know, moving on." "All y'all talking about how your souls are dark black, mine is baby blue. It's brighter than your hair." "uwu my stomach hurts" "I'm serious I'm not on my phone." (T) "Oh really?" "I swear to GOD she wasn't!" (T) "Oooooohhh" "Holy shit Zoe you're gonna send **** to hell." "You were staring at me for like 20 seconds before calling on me!" (T) "No, my glass eye was staring at you. My real eye was over there seeing that stuff, and over here I didn't see sHIT." "I heard there's G-Spots in your ass, why don't you shove it up there and have some fun." "How about no?" "Suit yourself." "I don't like raw fish — it makes me sad." "100 senators!! Come ON, Sen - a - tors!" "Shut up go stick your head in a dick." "I want that Mormon Milk." "I'm begging you to stop talking." "I'm salivating for that salvation." "Shut the fuck up."

BONUS: SCHOOL'S POWER OUT

"My god that sun is brighter than Kirishima's smile." "Zoe is turning into Trina." "I'm breaking down~" "Come over here anyone who wants to take 'Golden-Hour Mental Breakdown' selfies and/or get Pocky." "Anyone who refuses to let their anxious child come home will be personally smacked by me with Zoe's copy of 'Half-Blood Prince'."

NORMAL SCHOOL

"Stab me in the ovary or whatever you said." "CORRODED ARTERY YOU ARE MALE" "Same difference." "Perfect boy lookin-ass- no homo." "What the fuck" "People think that Sherlock Holmes isn't real because he was written in a book. God was too but you don't see people denying HE exists, do you?" "Ok do a burpee." *burps loudly* "No a- you're a fucking idiot." "Heyyyyy Zoe, can we- holy shit is that Pornhub?" "How do you make a baby crawl in a circle?" "I don't fucking know." "Ok...do you know how to make one stop?" "When did you get here!?" "Couple minutes ago." "???" "I'm quiet and people generally don't notice I'm here." "...do you need a hug?" (T) "What'd you do this weekend?" "Some sewing." (T) "What'd you sew?" "Robes…" (T) "For what?" "*increasingly embarrassed* A costume." "From what?" "*very red by now* Harry Potter…" "Which character?" "*wanting to crawl into a hole* Draco Malfoy…" "*polite clapping from entire class*" (T) "He's on the road to alcoholism." "I'm doing a 21-Day challenge of not talking, if I do - punch me." (T) "Oooohhh this is gonna be fun." *knock at door* (T) "*presses face against door window* What's the password?" "bitCH GIVE ME BACK MY CAPRI-SUN" "It's not Capri-S-" "IT'S BOOTLEG CAPRI-SUN GIVE IT BACK" "Holy shit you turned the Jesus-freak gay." "What happens if you don't deletus the fetus?" "Then the abortion isn't completus." (T) Can you see where I'm going?" "To hell." "Oh look, a wasp." "KILL THAT SHIT" "Oh man I can't hear my eardrums." "How the fuck would you hear your eardrums?" "That's the POINT." "I like a p p l e s ~I like 'em big and juicy-" (T) "NO." "Everyone raise your hand if you want Mr. **** out of the room." *80% raises their hands* (T) "Even you?" "What do you mean 'even me'!?!?" "******? ******!!" "What?" "If I ask you a question will you be a douche?" "Probably." "Understandable." "What the hell am I reading?" "Words." "Mr. **** do you like donkey ducks?" (T) "I'm not even going to answer you." "I'm scared of homophobes." "Homophobophobia." "If gay is a slur does that mean that African American is a slur?" "Who has my mcfreaking phone? WHOMST HAS MY PHONE" (T) "Ooh free charger! *wraps cord around neck like a scarf*" "Whee whee mone me jam apple laff-yeti" "If someone is being homophobic, give them dyslexia." "Troom Troom life hack: if someone is harassing you — eat them." "Troom Troom banana hack: if someone is harassing you — shove a banana up their ass." (T) "Take that hat off." "I'm a gangsta." "I'm never gonna use this shit. Do you think I'm gonna go to McDonald's and say something like, I don't know, 'Oh riddle me dubious'? NO." "I'm gonna meticulate you until you get dyslexia." "What the fuck does that even mean?" "I'm gonna meticulate your rectum." "Please stop." (T) "See that girl? She likes bad boys." (T) "Ask her, she has tape." "What the hell has made you think I have tape?!?" "I don't care if you have 106% in this class, you can kiss my fat ass!" "No, PICasso." "I like Costco-" "No." "Holy shit *points at red train in movie watched in class* it's the Hogwarts Express." "Stop it." "Choo choo bitch we goin' to magic school." (T) "Guys Mr. ***** is in here, quick make it look like you're doing math." "3 + 7 = 9!!!" "Are you serious?" "MOVE IT, MUNCHKINS!" *shoves us apart and runs off* "Excuse-moi, I'm gonna beat her ass." "Oh my god someone's weave is on the floor." "Only at (insert school name here)." "THERE'S MORE THEY THREW IT OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW" "*handing out books* Take this dick, *throws book on student's desk next to me* and here you go. *places book gently on my desk*" "waIT TAKE THAT BACK I WANT A 'HERE YOU GO' WTF" (T) "-and so the corn salsa would be 20...thaaaat's not one of the answers oh no." "You fucking whore, happy birthday." (T) "How do you know you are college and career ready?" "Because Jesus loves me." "Last time I shit my pants was in middle school." "rePEAT THAT?" "I'm gonna show up tomorrow with AIDS." "Did you just say you'd show up with AIDS?" "Yeah." "Why??" "Cause HE put his spit on me." "I'm borrowing your chair. To sleep." "I'm straight as a line." "Oh? *makes loop-de-loops in the air* You mean THIS line?" (T) "I will decimate you. I will wipe your name from the earth." "Is the government making us take this test?" (T) "No, the district is making us take it." "Well the district can suck my ass." *calling every white person in a certain scene of Ernest Green a toothpick* "Is it just me or does ******** seem like he'd end up having a job at Chuck and Dale's?" "GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE I WANNA WATCH MERLIN" (T) "You boys don't know how to chop down a tree, do you? You wouldn't be able to do that." "Yes I would, I do it in Minecraft all the time!" (T) "Ok, remember to put your name on your paper." "No. I have no name. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Voldemordita." "Stop it." "Shut up, both y'all gay, always smackin' each other's asses in class." (T) "Easy, Luigi, we're not watching a movie." (This was a sub for Civics class and he had just walked in 2 minutes prior. The student's name was not Luigi) "Hold on I'm gonna be Oprah: YOU GET A CALCULATOR, YOU GET A CALCULATOR!" "Y'know ***** still needs one." "F R I C K" *girl walks into a desk* "There's a desk there ****." "I KNOW fuck OFF" "I feel like we need to warn her about everything when she walks." "Watch out for life, ****." "Can we do it on paper?" (T) "No, this is not Burger King." *leaving the room* "Remember, cocaine is not your friend. I'll kick your ass." (T) "Wow! It's Good Friday, and you're talking about your baptism and stuff like that, and you said 'oh my fricking god'? For shame." (T) "I'm on a lot of drugs and alcohol right now and I can't feel anything." "Oh my GOD USE A YARDSTICK" "No." "MR. ******** I'M GONNA HURT HER" "Gonna stab her with the yardstick?" "I need bail money." "I need money PERIOD." "DRAW. A STRAIGHT. L I N E." "NO, FUCK YOU" "You know you're gay when it takes you 3 tries to draw a straight line." "DON'T TAKE MY JOKE" "You definitely know you're gay if it still isn't straight after 3 tries." (T) "What would you do if someone came into your neighborhood?" "Who's neighborhood? Mr. Rodger's?" "I have 15 pets." "I have 13 siblings, does that count?" "No but it does mean that your parents need to learn how to use a fucking condom." "Hi my name is J. Michael Tater Tot welcome to the Dairy Dome." "Dyslexia? I thought you said...cannibalistic tendencies." "What?" "I couldn't think of anything that rhymed." "You need to flex seal your anus closed." "If you don't fucking shut up I will shave off your eyebrows using my toenail as a razor you cunt." "Sippy Cup looks depressed." "Sippy Cup, you going through some shit?" "Hit or Miss, I guess they never miss, huh? You got a boyfriend-" "Yep." "I bet he doesn't kiss ya!" "Haha nope." "Ew I look like Casper." (T) "...and we're going to write a paragraph." "Oh you're FUNNY." "I think I'm switch. Like, I'm good with being sub, but I'd like to dominate my bitch too. Like F.B.I get on the ground open your legs." "Ms. ******* that's really bright-" (T) "YOU'RE bright." Video: *talking about how important this song is to them* (T) "I don't care stop talking." "I peed on the desk again." "Key word: AGAIN???" "You should send ****** and I to get them." "That is a HORRIBLE idea." "What do you mean it's a horrible idea? You don't know me!" "What do you mean 'I don't know you?' We have gone to school together for almost 4 years." (T) "Look, I know you're obsessed with me, GET TO WORK." "He's harassing me." "You harassed me first. It's not harassment if you do it in self-defense." "You can have the benefit of my middle finger." "It's the progression of the climb of the rocket." (T) "Oh my GOOODDDD JUST SAY IT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING" "Fine. The speed." (T) "ExACTLY." "Oh look a firetruck's outside." "Whee whoo whee whoo- oh my god you're serious. Oh god it's (crappy fire department) jesus christ." "I think we need to potty train our classmates again." "AGAIN???" "Well, yeah. They're supposed to be." "'Supposed to' and 'are' are two different things." "Mr. **** can I put mascara on you?" (T) "No." "Whyyyyy?" (T) "Do I look like a Barbie doll?" (T) "Mascara girl is the one who's talking." "You act like I don't have a name!!!" "Do you?" "What the hell are you doing?" "It makes your eyelashes look nicer." "Yeah; easy, breezy, beautiful: Covergirl. Get with the program." "James Charles is QUAKING." "Sister shook." "Give me my paper." "Bitch I'm gluing my fingers together, I didn't fucking take it." "Do you have a charger?" "No, but I have a notebook full of English notes." "I don't have any round characters, all of mine are gay and sad."

BONUS 2: BIRTHDAY

"I'm sorry I don't have anything for you for your birthday all I have is Reese's and duct tape." "Wait it's your birthday??? HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO-" "NO STOP SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT" "Thank you." "You're welcome." (T) "Pay attention my dudes." *collective groaning from entire class* "*asking for tampons*" (T) "*holding a marker* I can throw another red one at you." "I don't get it. *sudden realization*" (T) "***** pick your jaw up off the floor, I was joking." "I'm tired of the word 'domain'." "Oh yeahhhh me too, cause we hear it a lot in physics now." "Domain, domain, domain; I hate it." "I'm in a domain of hating myself." "I'm joking, I love you." "I'm not joking, but I love you too anyways." "**** don't lose your Crocs again." (T) "Get that earbud out of your ear." "No, this is keeping me sane." "Why is my name 'desire'??? I put it as 'pee pee poo poo'!"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I've finally done a fraction! I flipped it over, turned it around, smacked its ass and had it call me daddy." "PARDON???" "What?" (in Physics talking about electricity) "Ok positive top, negative bottom-" "ME?" "He said you can't learn if you burn but you do learn. You learn fire is hot. Also the sensation of being burned alive as you are consumed by flames." "*shows Thanos smut* Spoilers for Endgame that no one asked for." "Legend has it that if you work at the Dairy Dome, you get free tickets to Domegame." Have a marvelous Monday, a Terrific Tuesday, a Wonderful Wednesday, a...Thesis Thursday. I couldn't think of anything." "You look like a frog." (T) "And you look like a squid." "Someone today said I looked like a drug dealer magician. Would you like *sweeps off hat* MARIJUANA??? Or...*pretends to pull something out of hat* COKE??? Perhaps some *flourishes* *whispers* acid???" "I'm gonna Detroit Smash him to hell." "LGBT, let's get this bread." "My hero academia as in Aizawa can shove my ass up his head- wait hold on" "*talking about Ariel* She's hot but that doesn't excuse the fact that she put her entire species in jeopardy for some dick." (T) "Does anyone not have medicine in their bag that ******* cannot have while I look down at the floor because I dropped my pen?" (T) "*reaches for paper*" "Ah ah **** no swipin'." *in science class* "Nothing's happening but I saw that bitch SPARK and I'm terrified." "I'm basically teacher today, your assignment is to do nothing. YOU get an A." "SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER I'LL EAT YOUR ANUS THEY DON'T CALL ME RECTUMUS PRIME FOR NOTHING" "EXCUSE ME" "What was the word again?" "David Hasselhoff?" "What, no???" "This is why you shouldn't scratch yourself, here." "*instantly shoves necklace in mouth*" "I wouldn't use that as a chew fidget, I got it off the ground in Louisiana." "*chews even more aggressively*" (T) "Don't mess with me I will throw something at you, I played softball for 14 years." "Really???" (T) "Yeah. I was the captain biatch." "James Charles looks like the dragon from Shrek." "***'s touching my wenis." "Gay fantasies don't really matter." "Yeah, I mean, did you see the way that Tony and Cap looked at each other in Endgame?" "When he was, a young boy, his father, took him to the dark lord, to kill the principalofawizardachool" "He said son when, you grow up, will you b-" "HE SAID WILL YOU, GETSHANKEDINABATHROOM-" "Watch out: I have peanut butter and a knife!" (T) "All you need is at least a 60% to pass the test-" "BOI I GET 40S AND 30S IN YOUR CLASS AND YOU KNOW IT" (T) "So you used to go to (other school name)?" "Yeah. But people growling and barking at me was a little much." (T) "Were they furries?" "Dude, tornadoes in Kansas are no joke." "But you go to Oz." "THERE AIN'T NO YELLOW BRICK ROAD AFTER A TORNADO" "Uh, yeah! Yellow brick road to HEAVEN." "Toto isn't god” "You awakened something you didn't want to awaken." "Is it god??? Is it Totoro? Remember to pay your taxes or Hong Kong will come eat you." "Today's weather is cloudy with a chance of rectal prolapse." (T) "Who's at the door?" "It's ***." (T) "Who's ***?" "***. Your student." (T) "*opens door* Who are you?" "I'm nobody." "Who is commander in chief of the military? My p e n i s" "Are those grandma shoes??? Can I e a t them???" "She sounds like a fetus screaming for extra guac at Chik-Fil-A." "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN" "*singing the Boku No Pico theme off-key in a loli voice*" "I will hit you." "I'd feel bad for you but you have a 69% and that causes you to get a D and I can't look that over." "Do you ever wonder where babies come from? Cause I don't. All you have to do is pee into a lady's Digornio." "rePEAT THAT??" "Don't forget to degrade your dog." "Imagine a world: where you have 2 fetuses hanging from your eyebrow."

BONUS 3: GIANT, END-OF-THE-YEAR CIVICS TEST

"Why the fuck is Christmas a national holiday???" (T) "Ok, the president during WWII was...Roose-" "-A PARKS" (T) "Are you even paying attention?" (T) "What happened on September 11th, 2001?" "9/11!" (T) "We're gonna need you to be a little more specific, buddy." (T) "What's a state that borders Canada?" "I deadass was about to say Arizona, I need sleep." "WHAT is your name?" "*****." "WHAT is your quest?" "To clap the best pussy out there." "*through laughter* What is your favorite color?" "The color of the next pussy I'm gonna crunch." "I got a Voltage from the ROTC room, and I dropped it and someone said 'OOH', picked it up and yeeted with it." "WHAT THE FUCK I'D SHIT ON THEIR HOUSE" "Can we play a song after our presentation?" (T) "As long as it's not like 20 minutes like an Allman Brothers song." "Huh?" (T) "You know how when you have an acid trip, people tell you to listen to the Allman Brothers?" "..." (T) "I'm old." (T) "If this eye starts drooping, there was something in the brownie." (T) "*teaching us Piccolo Mini*" "You just made me feel dyslexic." "YOU GUYS WANNA KNOW THE TEA??? I'M THE REAL HOE" *applause from class* "BITCH WE BEEN KNEW" "*unintelligible*" (T) "What?" "*still unintelligible*" (T) "I still didn't hear you." "You talk like your handwriting." "I WILL THROW THIS CROC AT YOU" "I will literally pay a dollar for one." "I will literally eat these." "Petunia is not a phone." "Electronic device, then." "She's not an electronic device, I gave birth to her." (T) "**** that's the whitest you've ever sounded." "My dingaling is messed up." "Mine too." (T) "Ok so say you wanted aides-" "I DON'T WANT AIDS WHAT THE HELL" (T) "IN THE CLASSROOM. CLASSROOM AIDES. HELPERS. "Can we talk while doing this?" (T) "No, this isn't Burger King." "What is your obsession with Burger King????" "HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S SPRAYING IT DOWN. HE'S PUTTING THE WHITE NECTAR ON THE RAMEN SINK" "Have you ever seen a 14 year old looking badass?" "Have you ever seen a beaver chomping down on a carrot? Cause I wanna see that." "I don't wanna go to Papa Louie's Arcade, Papa Louie can pop a cap in your ass." "Micheal does a Thanos Snap in season 14." "Cas, I don't feel so good." "NO" "Your Crocs are in sport mode." "My cock is hard." "THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID" "It's ok lil diglett I'm gonna evolve you." (T) "Stop it." "I'm gonna evolve you it's fine, you're weak but you're gonna get better. *throws stress ball at teacher*" (T) "******* looks like Ted Bundy" (T) "He's falling asleep. Hey, ****, are you sad you can't have an abortion?" "What???" (T) "If you don't like high school relationships, who's that guy you keep making out with in the hallway?" "*pointing at random places on the map in the civics classroom, threatening to deport each other to random places*" "You're jiggling my titties." "*half the class is singing I Write Sins Not Tragedies*" "I love you!" "Shut it, I'm doing a presentation." "I love you!!" "Stop." "I love you!!!" "God damnit, *******, I'm gonna hit you." (T) "If you drop any f-bombs during the presentation, I'm gonna kill you." "Bottom, take the apple." "I'm not black, I'm O.J." "Balls. That was the word." "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET 'BALLS' FROM 'THE BUCKS ARE WINNING THE FINALS'??" "Who's this? Tom? No I don't wanna streak with you. Stranger danger." "Why is it called Field Day if it's only 2 periods?" (AP) "I- That's actually a good question." "ALRIGHT THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO-" "*gets literally kissing distance from him* *salutes* Yes sir?" "We're playing cornhole." "Stop laughing, how is cornhole inappropriate?" "Mr. **** this is the type of yardstick that could take your kneecaps. Do you want me to take yours?" (T) "I'd like to see you try." "Is that Ratatouille?" "Ratatouille isn't the rat. That's Remy, you insolent fuck." "I'm gonna call you the 'G' word." "What's the 'G' word?" "Jew." "That's…porny." "...send it to me." "Where you going?" "To hell." "WHY" "*shrugs* Seems fun." "You see, this is why I need to work with you. I'm your insurance."

BONUS 4: FIELD DAY

(T) "Are you part 1 or part 2?" "Uh…" (T) "Top line or bottom line?" "Bottom- no, top- uhhhhh…" "He looks like a top." "I still don't understand why we fucking dropped Bohemian Rhapsody for a song from fucking T W I L I G H T." (T) "*throws a marker at the Assistant Principal*" *various cheers and "OHHHHHH"s from the class* (AP) "Are you actually serious." Not a quote but in the 2nd to last week of school, we spent almost the entirety of 4th period Algebra (including the teacher — he started it) throwing dry-erase markers at each other and didn't even stop when the AP (seen above) came in. (T) "*walks through the middle of the room*" "FIRE" *8 people pelt markers at him* "Wait you guys realize he's gonna throw all of those back, right?" "I have a D I'm hanging on the edge my dudes." "I did a math? I did a math!!!" "You did meth?" "YES!!!" "*gets head shoved out of window* OW! FUCK, ****** MY TIT" "You exude strong Kenny energy." "Why?" "Cause you die a lot? Cause your heart was replaced with a baked potato? Cause your family's poor?" "*laughing so hard we can't breathe*" "*leaves the cafeteria to calm down from laughing too hard*" "I'm having elementary school flashbacks." "Shut your social justice warrior ass up." "You ok?" "I stabbed myself." "Sorry, only girls get it. Also, this is my last customer today." "Hold on, if it's only girls, why does HE get it?" "Hi." "OH SHIT YOU'RE A GIRL MY BAD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

“Did I just witness a drug deal?” "Why do you look like a dad?" "I need some weed in my system again, I'm fucking drained." "There's a fucking big-ass run in my tights — I'm gonna eat my own ass and then some." "Hi I'm ***** and Mr. **** can suck my 13 inch dong. My Long John Silver." "This ignorant pickle of a person can die." "This cashew of a long dong. Cashews look like telephones." "A shirt says Mr. **** can suck my magnum horse, my stallion." "His mom should've fucking swallowed." "Spit his ass in a Dixie cup." "I will tattoo my eyes shut." "I'm talking about this mongoose man that's called Mr. ****." "Can you speak some Spanish?" "Hola, como estas, sugma." "Sugma?" "Suck my fuckin' balls lmao" "It's your sugar daddy. *shows picture of Andrew Jackson*" "It's Mr. **** as a woman." "That's fucking Christopher Columbus." "*howling laughter*" "I was just thinking 'have it stop raining so that I don't have to walk in it', but then I remembered I have work today so it should keep pouring. The more the sky cries, the less I cry. Unless I'm on drive." "Excuse me sir, *raises leg* my penis has fallen off." "I pray you get AIDS." (T) "Please throw away your sheet music, it's illegal to copy sheet music and I don't wanna go to jail." "*loud smack* I am so sorry, I didn't mean it to be that loud! Come here baby boy, let me give you the sweet taste of my mother milk." "It's not mother anymore, it's daddy now." "Dude what if you were born with a set of words that if said, would implode your testicles." "Bomb go boom, Mormons go extinct." "MR. **** YOU TOOK OUR NOODS" "DON'T TAKE THE NOODS" "NOT THE NOODS!!!" "****, I thought you were Catholic." "The pencil's black." "Like my ass-cheeks." "Someone stole it!!!!" "Like ****'s virginity."

BONUS 5: WATCHING INSIDIOUS (FOR SOME FUCKING REASON)

*kid falls off ladder* *various banshee screeches from students* "They're kissing AGAIN. This movie is NOT appropriate." "I'm hearding weeeesssst~ I don't know what to dooooo~ " That's not how you make a superpowered baby. You kill the mother and put her on the ceiling." "Wait, pause. What the hell?" "F.B.I, open up." "IT'S DALTON." "PUT A CHAIR ON THE DAMN DOOR" "HOW WOULD A CHAIR WORK AGAINST THE DEMON" "He's in a deep sleep. Wake him up with true love's kiss." "It's a pedo-demon! Everyone run!" "He's cheating on her." "What if this was linked to Supernatural?" "Ooh she's echoing now." "My legs are shaking bruh." "Is that blood on the window?" "No, it's a tree." "SMACK THE CHILD"

NORMAL SCHOOL

"I figured out why I'm so quiet today." "Oh, really?" "Yeah, *shows trembling hands* I'm on vibrate." "I can't wait to go to church."

BONUS 6: LAST DAY OF SCHOOL

"The first thing I ate when I came to this country, it was in the airport and it was Doritos." (T) "They gave me the shortest teachers' gown they had. I have a baby gown." "That isn't a happy little bush." "IT'S. TREE." "Hello ladies, *winks* *blows kiss*" "I'm GAY." *I Will Survive playing really loudly* "******* you're not in our friend group so get the FUCK OUT." "Now I can swear! FUCK Y'ALL BITCHES I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEECAPS" "Oh shit it's an end of the year fight!" Four kids got into a fight at the same time and one got tazed."

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ticklikeabomb · 6 years

Text

Rio pra não chorar

Pairing : (Chris Evans ; Chris Pratt ; Sebastian Stan ; Tom Holland ; Tom Hiddleston) ??? x Plus Size Reader

Warnings : Language ; grammar/spelling mistakes

Work Count : 1.6k

« Who do you think it will be? Man or Woman? », asked Chris Patt curiously, facing his fellow co-stars. Some shook their head and Scarlett declared smiling, « I don’t know but I hope it’s a woman. » Zoe’s eyes lit up and agreed « Yes, I would love to see a fellow Latina girl in the house. » The others smiled and Robert exclaimed smirking, « Wait, why can’t it be a guy? ». Elizabeth rolled her eyes and pointed at the male audience that was gathered around for their traditional gathering before the big production starts. « Are you kidding? Look around, we’re overflown with testosterone », she said, making Chris (Evans) laugh loudly. « She’s not wrong », he stated after he calmed down. « No matter who it will be, I hope the person is cool », said Anthony (Mackie).

An unknown fact for the mortal ones was that, considering that the Marvel Studios were expanding their comic characters into movies every year, some of the actors were concerned. Not about their image or all that ‘steal the spotlight’ argument, but about their harmony as a group. The actors became a sort of family and welcoming a new person every time was something. Some were afraid that the dynamic would change or that there would be rivalry between one and the other, or just basically not liking each other. So this new addition that they were supposed to meet the following day, was making some of the actors nervous. Of course, they would welcome the person as well as they could, but still there was a small fraction of concern floating on their minds.

Following the lead of Infinity War, the Studio was going full hardcore again - all the Avengers were on board, along with all of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Dr Strange, Black Panther, Ant-Man and the Wasp and of course let’s not forget the Goth God, Loki himself. To say that adding a brand new character to the picture was insane, it was. But Marvel being Marvel they knew what they were doing and couldn’t wait to introduce the newbie.

9 am sharp the next day, all the actors were gathered around the directors, and again Marvel went hardcore. Anthony Russo, Joe Russo AND Taika Waititi were working together to direct the most anticipated movie of the year. After everyone greeted, the directors called silence and asked them to sit down. « Thank you for being present this morning. As you noticed this movie is gonna be huge and we can’t wait to start filming », announced one of the Russo’s. It was Taika’s turn to speak up, « We can’t wait for you to meet your new co-star. She’s gonna blow… ». The girls cheered loudly and did small signs of victory. « Blow our what? », asked RDJ amused, making everyone laugh at his innuendo. Taika smirked and replied « Guys, come on don’t scare the poor girl already. As I was saying, she’s gonna blow your MINDS off. I can speak for everyone that had the privilege to vision her audition tape and let me say she’s badass and it’s her first time ever in acting. »

« Ohhh fresh blood », grinned Chris Pratt. « You know what that means fellas? » replied Hemsworth mischievously. « We get to prank that girl A LOT! », his thick Australian accent came out, making everyone cheer and holler, happy to be all reunited again. Taika smirked towards the Russo’s who were trying to hide their smiles. A smile that could be easily translated as ‘Oh boy, they have no idea what’s about to hit them’. « Anyway she must be here by now », exclaimed Anthony Russo and Joe marched towards the door opposite where the actors came from. He called for the girl and the actors heard her greet him.

When she entered the place, some gasps could be heard among the noise. There stood their new co-star - a girl/woman in her mid-twenties, maybe late twenties, smiling brightly, glowing eyes and skin, her plump/thick and curvy figure in all her glory. « Hello », she said loudly for everyone to hear, a bright smile that could reach the sky. She didn’t seemed phased by the A-list actors in front of her, at the contrary, completely at ease, her voice not showing any sign of stress. « Marvel crew, meet Y/N Y/L/N », Joe announced. She waved at the people in front of her and quickly exclaimed with an amused voice « I know your names, don’t worry » and a sweet laugh escaped out of her.

After the introduction and greetings done, the directors explained the production and schedule plan. Everyone was curiously feeling at ease and relaxed around their new co-star, who they quickly discovered she had a witty and fun personality. The first weeks confirmed their impressions. She was funny, feisty, always in a good mood and cheerful and would absolutely not back off a prank or bet. The actors discovered it the hard way during one of their pranks. Chris Evans was hiding next to her trailer, waiting for her to come out, while the others were hiding and filming the whole thing. When she came out, Chris splashed her with a bucket of water. Instead of being angry, she just started laughing. « Oh you gonna pay for that Evans », she exclaimed. And boy he did. A week later, with the complicity with other actors and Taika, the firefighters appeared on set for an ‘emergency’. She discretely took one of the firefighters lance and opened it and directing it towards Evans. The water jet was so harsh that he fell on the floor, not a single parcel of him dry. « Payback’s a bitch Chris. Told you, you would play », she yelled towards him laughing. The Bostonian stood up completely dumbfounded and dripping wet and after a few seconds laughed too. « Damn, I’m never pranking you again. EVER », he told her and she high fived him.

Everyone was awesome and apparently some of them fond you more than the others. By some it was some - Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, Sebastian Stan, Tom Hiddleston and Tom Holland. What did those actors had in commun, appart from that awesome diversity in names - well they were all single. When they were in position for a fight scene and you emerged on set, everyone turned around. The five Spice ‘Man’ were looking at you with their eyes widened and mouth agape. Seeing you in tight fitting dark red suit and having your glorious thick thighs and ass compressed in such a suit, made their mind wonder to heated places. For this scene, you were positioned in front of all the Avengers, which led half of the male cast to have a pretty descent, alright fuck it let’s be real, a great sigh at your ass. Before the scene began, you turned around and without paying attention you pushed the fabric of your suit a little on one of your thighs because it was way to tight for your liking and the fabric made a slapping sound. Taika put on music and asked you to dance. « What? Why would I do that? », you asked confused. He smirked and declared through a megaphone « To stretch the fabric of your suit a little. You don’t want it to rip do you? » You frowned but laughed.

The song « Vide Gal » by Daniela Mercury was playing and you smiled. « God I can believe I’m doing this. It’s so weird », you mumbled when you began to do some shy moves and then you thought ‘fuck it’ and began to sway your hips to the beat. You even took some of the girls hands and began to dance and laugh with them. The Spice ‘Man’ were looking at you with hungry eyes from head to toe and wishing you would chose them and dance, but you didn’t. Taika cut the music and exclaimed proudly « I think it’s enough because if you keep swaying those hips, there are some that will have a heart attack », and pointed to the guys behind you. You turned around and saw them all blush and you couldn’t escape the small giggle that came out of your mouth. You smirked their way and winked before getting in position for the fight scene.

After a long day of work, you headed towards your trailer and took a shower before preparing yourself for going out with Mark. You put a jeans and a cute top and headed out of your trailer. You heard someone whistle and turned to the source. You gave the responsable a stern look but quickly a smile took place on your face. « Where you going at girl? », Mackie asked. « Out with Mark », you replied nonchalantly. The Spice ‘Man’ frowned at the mention of a male name. When RDJ was about to ask further, the roaming of a bike was heard and you smiled. You waved towards the biker and he joined. « Avengers this is Mark, Mark this is the Avengers », you smiled. He waved at them and looked deeply at Evans, Pratt, Stan, Holland and Hiddleston before asking you if you were ready. You nodded and headed out. « So who is the one you’re dating? The Captain? Winter Soldier? Star-lord? Loki or Spiderman? », he asked smirking. You frowned and replied « What are you talking about? » He looked at you dumbfounded and said « Come on, you didn’t notice the way they were looking at me, like they were pissed. » You laughed loudly and said « You’re delusional dear brother. » He shook his head and continued « God you’re so oblivious sometimes. » You rolled your eyes and said « Whatever. Let’s go, I’m hungry », and took the helmet he handed you. Your adoptive brother smiled and shook his head again. You sat behind him on the bike and looked a last time at the others before leaving. Your eyes landed on the male actor’s strong and deep gaze. In that moment you wondered if your brother’s words were right.

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