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versadies · 1 year

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN || EVERMORE

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which a certain ragnvindr struggles with his fate and the complications in his life.

SYPNOSIS (of series). breaking up with your first love was heartbreaking, but not as heartbreaking as getting invited to his wedding after years of not seeing him. that is, until things seem to be easier when you encounter a certain guest, who could end up being more than just a blooming friend to you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, and thoma (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. angst/comfort(?), grammar errors (?), mentions of violence, sh1nsuke 🤥🤥, minor character death, car accident, mentions of threats, mentions of jeanluc, terribly written crime case (lost my brain after exams, sorry lads), diluc and kaeya are in good terms, spoilers to diluc’s canon story, possibly terribly written chapter overall (lost it after chap 13, sorry lads)

PENPALS. @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @ladycoleigh @034ven @dear-dairiess @owozi8 @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii @jiminscarmex @mitsukii14 @nejibot @ylimeprive @sachispet @loreleis-world @sn-owo @starforecasts @someonetookmynamelmao @ceylestia @lychme @ymikkos @reallysporadicarcade @melodyyamino @dudufodd @somberrock @yevenly @lemontum @nghing @elychee @astrxlis @denkineptune @franini i @sophisticatedleslie @thedivinepriestress @smashsubs @httpmitsuya @bl6o6dy @cottonkendi (please visit this post if you’d like to be tagged !)

WORD COUNT. 14.6k words

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST \ EVERMORE SURVEY

POST-SCRIPT. once again i have finally finished this godforsaken chapter after many weeks of my disappearance — ill try to finish chapter 15 before new year’s or so :,)) please take note to not expect too much from this chapter but it’ll help clear up the truth about diluc and his thoughts (but it wont clear your disappointment towards chapter 13)

PREVIOUS || NEXT || VERSADIES’ VERSION (PROCEED TO THIS LINK FOR FLUFF LOVERS)

A few things Diluc has lost were the bright hopes and future he once had when he was but a teen who's ready to fulfill as many achievements and dreams as he can.

He could still remember how happy he was with the life he had back then, how he dedicated himself to being faithful with his duties as a detective in the Favonius, Mondstadt’s police department, and used to follow his father around, listening to every word he says as he learns the ways of running the business.

He remembers all the lessons Crepus taught. He remembers his first time making a drink with the ingredients his father provided on a long table. He remembers his first time serving drinks to customers in Angel’s Share. He remembers his first time attending a business event with his father.

He remembers his past too much. A price to pay for dwelling too much in the past.

That Diluc is long gone. All that remains is his shell that’s swallowed by guilt, pain, and helplessness.

He does not live for himself, but lives for his family’s business to continue thriving and succeed like what his father wanted him to do. He lives to fulfill his father's wishes written on an old piece of paper. He lives to make sure his land is safe from the corrupted and from harm.

He lives to deal with the burdens that he gained from his birthday. A special, cruel gift from fate.

Wine is something he didn’t like much, which is ironic for someone who specializes in making them. His father actually planned to let him try some of their famous wines that people loved once he’s allowed to, until something happened.

Wine.. reminds him too much of what happened.

Diluc didn’t expect to lose his father so early, especially since his father is a healthy man who still had a life ahead of him and a son to guide. He thought his father would live long until he died of old age, a peaceful way of meeting death’s doorstep.

If only it weren’t for that treacherous car accident…

If only that drunk driver didn’t drink at all with a darn wine.

For one moment, Diluc was sitting right across from his father in their private van. They were just talking about what Adelaide would cook for dinner, they were just discussing about the client they were talking with earlier, they were just talking about what his father was supposed to say–

Then before he knew it, everything was turned upside down. Literally.

He has a hard time breathing, his vision is blurry as he feels lightheaded from being upside down.

Father…

Diluc tries to get his vision clear and come to his senses. He could hear people screaming somewhere, there’s something that tastes like metallic in his mouth, everything’s hot, he feels like he’s about to puke– but where is his father?

“Fa…Father…” He calls out. Everything aches so bad, what just happened to him?

Once Diluc finally sees more, he realizes the car he’s in is upside down. Is this… a car accident?

The young heir looks ahead when he hears a groan, and his eyes widens at the sight of his father being in the same situation as him – except, his state is way worse than his.

As for the driver… He doesn’t know where on Earth he is.

“Fa-Father!” He calls out, his fingers shakily try to unclasp the seatbelt before falling down to the ground that’s filled with the shattered windows from the van. “Father, are you alright?”

Diluc tries to ignore the pain all over his body as he crawls towards his father and helps him get out of the van. “Hold on, father. I’ll get you out of here!” He says as he reaches out towards his father’s seatbelt to unclasp it.

“Di..luc? Is that you my.. Son?” Crepus asks weakly, letting out a cough as he falls down from his seat. “I’m glad you’re,” He lets out another cough, “alright…”

“Don’t worry about me, father.” Diluc reassures him, helping him crawl out of the van through the broken window nearby. The only thing in his head is that he needs to get his father to the hospital immediately.

As soon as Diluc and Crepus finally manage to get out of the van, the younger man immediately tries to look for his phone in hopes of calling for the ambulance. Thankfully, his phone is still in his pocket and working despite its destroyed state, and he instantly dials the emergency contact.

“H-Hello? We need help, we’re somewhere by…” As he explains the situation to the operator, the young teen didn’t manage to notice how slow his father’s chest is moving up and down nor did he notice the blood on his hands from covering his mouth when coughing.

When Diluc finally looks at where his father is, his eyes are full of hope that they’re going to be okay.

“Father, help is on their way. We’re going to be okay” He says, hoping his father will be alright and be proud of him for what he has done.

Crepus remains silent.

“...Father?” He quietly calls, his heart sinking when he notices how his father’s chest is stilled. “Father, are you… a-alive?”

Diluc slowly leaned down with his ear on top of his father’s chest, his eyes widening in fear when he couldn’t hear any heartbeat at all, as though he’s….

No, let’s not jump into conclusions.. He’s probably asleep..

The heir gently shakes his father in hopes it’d wake him up, only for his shoulders to sink when his father is still motionless. “Father…?”

It took the ambulance to arrive for Diluc to stop trying to wake up his father, the paramedics carried him away as another inspected the young heir’s body for any injuries to take care of.

Whatever the paramedic told Diluc, he did not pay any attention to it. Not when he’s watching the two paramedics looking at each other with hesitant looks on their faces after putting all of their efforts in trying to bring back Crepus, who remains motionless.

The light in Diluc’s eyes fades away when he realizes what just happened.

He thought this was just a horrible nightmare. He thought he’d wake up to the familiar sight of his room and continue living in his life with his father who’s alive. It wasn’t until he realized he’s in the hospital room when his hopes shattered in realization that his father was dead and gone.

“Breaking News! The infamous wine tycoon, Crepus Ragnvindr, has unfortunately passed away due to a car accident. His son, Diluc Ragnvindr, has fortunately survived from the accident. We do not have any updates on the young heir’s condition, but we can only hope that he is well and we give him our condolences for his father’s passing.”

Diluc finds himself staring at the TV helplessly as he continues to stay on his hospital bed. After the paramedics took him and his father to a nearby hospital, he was hospitalized in a VIP room after getting his wounds treated.

Why did this happen?

He looks down at his bandaged-hands, only for him to remember seeing his father’s blood on his hands.

Why not me?

He suddenly hears a knock, to be followed by someone entering the room.

“And here I thought you’d never wake up.” Kaeya spoke as he closed the door behind him, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “How are you?”

Diluc stays silent, still staring at his hands.

“...Why am I still alive?”

The red head didn’t bother to look at his sworn brother, who was extremely taken back by his question.

“...Why shouldn’t you be?” Kaeya responds, his tone is more serious. “What happened last night is out of your control–”

“I could’ve done something.” He interrupts, he now looks at the blue-haired man with an unfamiliar expression that wasn’t seen before from the usual brightful man.

It’s as if said brightful man has died with his father.

The blue-haired man dared not to say another word, causing the other to continue speaking. “I could’ve… I could’ve dragged him myself until I found a hospital. Or… Or maybe I could’ve noticed the signs more and performed CPR – but I was busy talking to the operator I couldn’t… I could’ve done something instead of watching him die.”

Diluc clenches his fists at the memory of the car accident. If only he watched his father more carefully, if only he insisted that they went to another place, if only–

If only he was the one who died instead of his father.

He can’t imagine running Angel’s Share on his own nor can’t he imagine being able to keep his family’s business together at this age. He thought his father would guide him all the way – he thought he wouldn’t be alone.

He doesn’t even know if he’s ready to become the next head of the Ragnvindr family.

“Whatever you could’ve done, there’s no point in that anymore when it already happened.” Kaeya says, grabbing a chair nearby and placing it beside Diluc’s bed before sitting down on it. “Father wouldn’t want to see you like this. He’d want you to carry yourself and take care of the family business with what he had taught you–”

“He isn’t here and he’ll never be.” He snaps. “I can’t just move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase me. I lost someone special to me.”

“He’s someone special to me too.” Kaeya retorts. “You’re not alone, Diluc. You have me, Adelinde, Elzer, and everyone else in the mansion who are willing to help you and be there for you. I’m not saying you should move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase you, but you should stop thinking of what could’ve been and think of what could be now.”

Diluc looks away from his sworn-brother, knowing he’s right.

It’s true… It’s better for him to think of what he can do now instead of the past.

“Did you find out who was behind the car accident?” Diluc questioned.

The blue-haired man fell silent.

“What would you do if I said yes?” Kaeya asks, leaning back against his chair.

Diluc took a long while to answer, something that made Kaeya guess his answer already. The young heir – well, the young CEO rather – is not one to sit idly by and let justice handle itself, it’s precisely why he’s such an efficient officer who never lets one case go ignored or incompleted.

So when he finally answered, Kaeya did not believe it one bit.

“Nothing.”

Liar. I bet you’ll suddenly disappear from this room the next day. Kaeya thought. Yet then again, regardless of what he’ll say to Diluc, he knows he’ll only get himself out later on to find more answers.

“I better not receive any calls from the hospital about you disappearing,” He said, letting out a defeated sigh. “There was a driver who crashed into your van. He’s currently imprisoned and will face charges as well as imprisonment.”

Diluc was about to open his mouth for another question when Kaeya lifted up his hand to stop him. “I’m not some person of interest being interrogated. Save your questions for later, focus on your health first.” He clarifies. “I can’t disclose too much about the incident to you since Chief Varka instructed me to, but I can reassure you we have everything under control, brother.”

The red-haired looks at him with an unexplainable expression on his face.

“...Fine.”

And so, Diluc trusted Kaeya, knowing fully well all the words his sworn brother told him were all a lie.

Eventually, he found out that the police suspected it was a drunk driver who drove into the car. However, thanks to the security cameras around that area being disabled due to technical problems that have been ongoing for the past weeks before, it took a while to find out who was exactly the drunk driver that managed to get away from the scene of the crime before the authorities arrived.

What made it more strange was how the person who was driving the van is not the same driver who usually brings Diluc and Crepus around the place. The driver was left behind in the building he and his father visited, meaning that this whole time, the two men were unknowingly in the same car with an unknown person who has unexplained motives.

Diluc could only guess the motives weren’t pleasant given the aftermath.

Unfortunately, the police weren’t able to find the unknown driver and are still looking for him, making all the things worse for Diluc, who feels like his lifespan is draining away the more he stays in the hospital doing nothing but wait and ponder.

Countless time that’s spent inside the hospital room made the red-haired feel suffocated. His patience is getting thin each time he receives no useful information whatsoever about the damn cause of the car accident that drove his father to death, his overwhelming guilt for being the only one to survive is getting bigger each day after spending too much in his thoughts, and his loneliness began to devour him inside out as the sounds of the TV news were just white noise to him.

He hates that he’s doing nothing.

It would’ve been better if he didn’t feel anything, but at this moment, he’s feeling everything.

Eventually, Kaeya and the others manage to find out who was involved in the incident – an FPD officer in his mid-20s who was trying to move on from a heartbreak, only to end up drinking more than he intended and got into a car accident.

He’s relieved that they finally found who was partially the cause of it, but that doesn't mean he feels like he can rest peacefully.

Not when the other driver is still missing.

It took a few more days until there’s finally more news about what FPD (Favonius Police Department) would do to the drunk driver, but it wasn’t what Diluc was hoping for.

“What…?” He asks for Kaeya to repeat what he had just said from the phone. It felt unreal to hear it – he would’ve thought his brother is joking with him again if it weren’t for the remorseful tone in his voice.

Surely… Surely Favonius did not go mad while he was gone, did they?

“I’m sorry you have to hear this, brother.” Kaeya said. “I couldn’t believe it either. When I came back from the hospital, Amber suddenly informed me that Officer Pallad was released with no charges at all.”

Had Diluc not controlled his strength, his phone would’ve been crushed and destroyed from anger.

“Why?”

“...Lieutenant Eroch informed me it was because there was not enough evidence to prove that he’s the one who was involved with the incident. Don’t worry, my team and I are already looking for more evidences–”

“I’ve waited long enough.” Diluc interrupts before ending the phone call, his eyes darted towards his coat that’s hanging near the door.

It wouldn’t hurt to have a chat with Lieutenant Eroch, would it?

“My deepest condolences for your loss, Detective Ragnvindr.” Eroch said, sitting on his chair as Diluc stood across from him. “Alberich informed me that you were still hospitalized, but it appears he isn’t aware that you’re discharged today. How are you?”

“I’ve been feeling better.” He answers, not bothering to give him a polite smile as he usually does with everyone back then. “May I ask something regarding the case of the car accident?”

Eroch hums. “Getting to the topic, huh? Alright, you may.”

“...Why did you release Officer Pallad?”

It took a few moments before the lieutenant let out a sigh, as though he suspected the young detective to ask such a question. “I may have realized that our officers could possibly have arrested the wrong man after the testimony of Officer Pallad during our interrogation. I cannot let our image as the protectors of our city be tarnished for such a possible mistake, especially since he’s a part of the department.”

“But the evidence is all there, is it not?” Diluc clarifies, not caring about the fact that he could get in trouble for questioning a higher up’s motives. “Alberich found that Officer Pallad was in Angel’s Share before he drove through the route that led to the car accident. He’s the only one whose vehicle has a huge dent at the fr–”

“It’s not enough for us to officially conclude it’s him who crashed into your van.” Eroch interrupts.

“Then what will it take for you and the others to consider him being–”

“Never. Unless you have a clear footage of Officer Pallad’s vehicle crashing into yours.”

Diluc tries not to feel hopeless. “...What about the person who was driving the van? Did your team at least find something about them?”

Eroch shakes his head. “Unfortunately we have not. But that’s none of our concerns at the moment, not when there are other important cases we have to look into.”

The red-haired man feels his hands clenched into fists. “None of your concerns? You’re looking for the two people who killed my father–”

“Tell me, Detective Ragnvindr. Are you here to waste my time telling me to do something I can’t do in a blink of an eye? Or are you here to give me something worth my time?”

The other man stays silent, his mind filled with more questions instead of the answers he wanted.

Why?

It didn’t help that the lieutenant looked less guilty and more bored, something that made Diluc start considering if the police department truly serves to protect the people of Mondstadt.

Eroch lets out another sigh before standing up. “I assure you detective that we’ll quickly let you know if we found something about the culprits, but now is not the time unfortunately. It’s best that you should keep this a secret from the public. We wouldn’t want our reputation to be tarnished because of a reckless officer drinking. If we won’t be able to find the culprits, then we have no choice but to consider–“

Eroch stopped talking when he hears something on his table, causing him to glance down and realize it’s a badge,

The badge that belongs to Diluc.

“Forget it.” The detective said in a cold tone before turning around to take his leave.

The lieutenant didn’t bother convincing Diluc to change his mind, and simply watched as the ex-detective left his office with all hope and faith lost in him.

All that remains is the determination in bringing down what brought his father to his death.

When Kaeya found out, he did not find the power to persuade his brother to come back and work for FPD, not when Diluc isn’t the type to retire from his career as a detective so quickly. Instead, he wished him well and made sure to let him know that he will do his best to help his dear brother out in finding out the culprits of the accident, something that the red-haired appreciated.

The news that Diluc has retired from being a detective spread like wildfire the day after. It didn’t matter what the public thinks, all that mattered for Diluc is that his father gets a proper and quiet funeral that he deserves.

The funeral… It’s hard to talk about it.

The ceremony left an empty part in the poor young man’s heart. Had it not been for Kaeya and those who work in the mansion, he would’ve felt alone. There wasn’t an overwhelming number of people who came to his funeral, but just the right amount of people for others to know how much Crepus was cared for and loved by a lot of people. Some were his close acquaintances in the business world, some were his old pals, some were his dear friends, and some were employees from both the mansion and from Angel’s Share who have been loyal for a long time.

Diluc tried to hold it together and not break down in front of everyone, wanting people to know that he can handle Angel’s Share without his father’s guidance anymore. It still feels unreal that he won’t see his father for the rest of his life now.

I promise father, Diluc thought in his mind as he placed a flower on top of Crepus’s coffin. I promise I will find out who caused your death and will make sure justice will come.

Of course, just because he stopped working in FPD, it doesn’t mean he’ll stop helping and protecting everyone in his nation.

Diluc plans to disappear sometime after his father’s burial, wanting to find out who crashed into the van and who was driving the van that he and Crepus were in. The least he can do is to bring justice to those who are responsible for his father’s undeserving death.

Before that, he must hear his father’s wills as well as a paper that’s written by his father that Adelaide managed to find when she was fixing the passed CEO’s bedroom.

His wills are simple. The mansion, the company, the establishment will now be in the hands of Diluc as he is the rightful heir. Kaeya got some valuable items of Crepus that’ll be of use to his life and his job in Favonius. The rest of the items will then be handed over to both charity and to Alice, Diluc’s godmother.

As for the paper…

It was a letter for both Diluc and Kaeya that the passed CEO managed to write in case he died. Not only did it contain advice and going through the memory lane, it also contained secret feelings and unsaid words that the man didn’t get to say.

One of them in particular is how an arranged marriage is offered for Diluc.

“As you know, arranged marriages are not uncommon in the business world, but I was surprised to see such an offer from the Gunnhildr family themselves. Nevertheless, I did not accept it nor did I reject it – simply because I assume you might consider it since the person they arranged you with is Jean Gunnhildr. Remember her? She was the one who had a pet turtle like you.

I also think you might be too busy with your work to even think about your love life, and it’d make me sad if a man like you ends up being alone for the rest of your life. So this arranged marriage is your best option if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone as kind, as capable, and as loved as Miss Jean. And do not worry, I know what you’re thinking, Miss Jean agreed willingly on this arranged marriage.

So I told them perhaps in time my son will send a response. And to my surprise, they’re very willing to wait for it no matter how long it takes. You may feel free to reject their offer as soon as you finish reading this letter your old man wrote for you and Kaeya, there’s nothing wrong with that. Though, it’ll make your old man incredibly happy if you decide to accept their offer (the rest of the letter is blank, making it evident that Crepus hasn’t finished it completely for unknown reasons). (1)”

Diluc didn’t know what to think when he read it.

Arranged marriage…? He never imagined he'd be in such a situation. He’s heard how it’s extremely beneficial for both parties, especially when it comes to businesses. Then again, that reason is simply not enough for him to accept nor consider the arranged marriage.

However… If it makes his father happy…

No, he has better things to do than that.

Now that the wills have been revealed, Diluc and Kaeya have no choice but to come visit Alice – who’s currently in Liyue for her next book about the region – to transfer some items for her.

“My deepest condolences for your loss.” She said, watching as Diluc sat down on his seat across from hers as someone filled his drink with tea. Unfortunately, Kaeya had a call from work and won’t be able to come inside the room to talk to the woman. “It saddens me that your father has to go so soon. How have you and Kaeya been?”

“Thank you… We’re doing well, Aunt Alice.” Diluc responds.

The woman smiles lightly. “That’s good to hear.. I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t found those who are responsible for the… accident. But you must know, revenge won’t do much for your grievance towards your father.”

The red-haired man tries not to look surprised, but stays silent, causing Alice to continue.

“I know it’s difficult to lose someone who guides you in your life. Partings are the most painful things, but they also encourage us to grow. A bird that has lost the roof over its head will fly further than others of its kind.”

She then lets out a chuckle. “But of course.. I know you wouldn’t be persuaded by my words, so I wish you still have your sense of good and justice on your journey to look for them. It’s not an easy task I bet, but I’m sure you’ll be able to catch them with your capabilities.”

The woman’s eyes gazed towards a bulletin board on one of the walls before looking back at the young man. “Should you be able to find the culprits, then you can try to go out and see the world afterwards. That’s the best course of action I can envision for you. Only by feeling, observing, and listening can your heart be healed. Everything that was your father now finds new life with you, that which you will experience in this world may have been things that your father experienced once upon a time.”

When Diluc looks at the older woman’s eyes, it screams nothing but good things for him and Kaeya.

Something he never thought he needed until now.

“...Thank you for your words.”

“Anything for you. I hope that the wind will bring you all manner of wondrous things in your many journeys to come, Diluc. Should you need a person to talk to or consult with, I’m always willing to lend an ear. I hope you won’t mind if I treat you as if you were my own child.”

–

It only took two days for Diluc and Kaeya to deal with the rest of the items that once belonged to Crepus while catching up with Alice before they decided to take their leave. Not only did they both have to go back for their jobs, but Diluc also had to go back to start his search in finding the culprits of the accident.

Before the two young men could leave the estate Alice lives in, the woman stops them for a moment.

“One last thing before you two go.” The woman then pulls out two items: a pocket watch and an earring with a blue jewel in it. “These belong to your father who left these with me back then. I think it’s best if you have these instead.”

Diluc hesitantly grabs the pocket watch while Kaeya grabs the earring, letting out a comment about “what a perfect timing this is, I was thinking of a good accessory to buy as a souvenir from Liyue.” causing Alice to laugh.

“Thank you, Aunt Alice. We wish you well on your journey as well as your work.” Diluc said politely.

Alice waves them off. “Have a safe trip, boys. Do tell my darling Klee that I said hi when you get back, alright?”

And so, the two men left.

As they’re on their way to the airport, Diluc stares down at the pocket watch Alice gave him, his mind filled with what’s to come for him once he comes back.

He can’t turn back now, not when the two drivers could potentially hurt someone else.

“You’re planning something, aren’t you?” Kaeya asks suddenly, causing the red-haired man to look up at his sworn brother.

“...What’s it to you?”

The blue-haired man lets out a chuckle. “Oh Diluc, I thought you’ve learned by now that I wouldn’t let you do things on your own, have you?”

He lets out a sigh in response. “I don’t need your help. This should be something I must do on my own–”

“You’re finding the two culprits who are responsible for our father's death, so I too want to take them both down with you because they deserve to go to jail for their crimes. Besides, you’re no longer a detective in FPD, the least thing I can do is to hand out some information that’s given to us, particularly the one that involves the mysterious driver that managed to get his hands on your van.”

His eyes slightly widened from hearing that. “...There’s info on the driver now?”

Kaeya hums. “It’s not much, but it’s worth reading it since I’m sure it’ll help you with your investigation. Feel free to ask more about the case, it’ll definitely take some work off my shoulders if you somehow find that driver. I’ll take care of the aftermath once you do”

Diluc stays quiet for a moment.

“..Fine, you can hand it over to me anytime. Just.. make sure to keep an eye on Eroch and his men.” He says.

The blue-haired crosses his arms. “Who said I don’t? That lieutenant has been suspicious since day one. I’m relieved Deputy Chief Jean is quite determined to investigate him and see if there’s anything suspicious.”

Jean…

“You mean Gunnhildr?” Diluc asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. She recently transferred to the department thanks to Chief Varka. I caught her skimming around the lieutenant's office while he was gone.” Kaeya then smiles. “You should try talking with her. Isn’t she an old friend of yours?”

“We weren’t close.”

“Still. I’m sure she’ll be delighted to see someone who’s just like her in the department – besides the retirement – and is familiar with her personally.”

The red-haired man thinks about it for a while. If it makes Father happy…

“I’ll.. Think about it sometime.”

“Perfect.”

By the time the two men are on their way through the airport, Diluc finds himself immersed in his thoughts about his plan in going around Mondstadt to look for the culprits who are responsible for his father’s death. He was so distracted that he didn’t pay attention to how there are paparazzis lingering around nor did he realize that he was about to bump into someone until it’s too late.

“Sorry.” He mutters to the person he bumped into before continuing his way towards his plane. He failed to notice how a certain item managed to slip out from the pocket of his black and long coat.

Until he hears someone calling him.

“Sir!” The stranger called, causing Diluc to stop his tracks for a moment and turn around to see if the stranger was calling him, only to spot someone walking towards him with a familiar object that he stared at moments ago.

“You dropped this,” you said, showing him the pocket watch, “sorry again for bumping into you, by the way.”

Diluc’s eyes slightly widened, a bit stunned by your kind act. Had it been anyone else, they probably would’ve kept it with them..

He slowly grabs the watch from you. “Thank you.”

You give him a smile and nod in response. “It’s no problem”

Without another word, you immediately ran off from Diluc, as if you didn’t just get the chance to meet Mondstadt’s two most famous men.

“My, I’m surprised they didn’t know about us two, Diluc.” Kaeya spoke in amusement, watching you go away. “You’re lucky they gave you that pocket watch. I’m not sure what would happen to you if you lost your father's watch after he just died.”

Diluc’s expression quickly changes to a glare, looking at Kaeya’s direction. “Watch your mouth before I make sure you’re not going to my private plane on our way back to Mondstadt.”

The other laughed. “I’m rich too, Diluc.”

The red-haired man then turns around. “We should go before we start wasting our time. The sooner we get to Mondstadt, the better.”

“Whatever you say, brother.”

–

Diluc didn’t hesitate to start his search immediately when he arrived in Mondstadt.

Unfortunately, after Pallad was released from the department cell, the vehicle that had a dent was immediately returned to him, so there’s a chance that it’s gone by now.

Despite being accused of reckless driving and a culprit of a car accident, Pallad still had the audacity to come back to Angel’s Share – not that the CEO is complaining, this definitely made things easier for him.

It’s already an alarming sight to see the officer using a new vehicle.

For the rest of the night, the young CEO listens attentively to Pallad’s conversations with other customers who are familiar with him. There wasn’t any useful information until someone finally asked the officer about his car. Apparently, he got himself a new car because his other one is too old and not functioning well, making him give it up in a car graveyard.

That was all the information he needed.

It took a while when Diluc finally found the graveyard that Pallad owns with the help of some of his connections (one of them being Kaeya, who told him the details of what the car looks like). It wasn’t hard to find the car Pallad used since he only gave it up recently, but it was hard to hold himself back after seeing the officer’s car that clearly has a huge dent despite seeing it for the second time.

He will never forgive that drunkard for killing his father.

Diluc was at the very least relieved when he spotted a dash cam inside the car. The officer must’ve been confident enough to not consider deleting footage of his dash cam, thinking it’ll be destroyed thanks to the graveyard. Unfortunately though, the dash cam was broken from possibly the accident, so it took a while to restore the footage until the ex detective got his hands on the piece of evidence that Eroch will surely not reject.

After the repair, Diluc sent it to Kaeya, who would pass it to Chief Varka and drag Pallad back to prison at last.

All that’s left was the unknown driver.

If it weren’t for Kaeya’s help in giving him information, Diluc wouldn’t know where to start. The only information the Favonious Department found about the culprit is they’re a part of an organization called the Fatui, based on a blurry CCTV that contains footage of someone in a Fatui uniform infiltrating the parking lot where the Ragnvindr’s van is and was never seen coming out.

The Fatui… Just hearing that name made Diluc feel angry.

They’re not an unfamiliar name in the business world. They’re known for being dangerous, powerful, threatening, and not to be underestimated. A woman who owns the company, Tsaritsa, is the most powerful person in all of Snezhnaya. People in the cold region respect her and look up to her for her contributions to the country, particularly the advanced technology that she invented. Those who aren't from Snezhnaya look at her in the opposite way.

Crepus and Diluc are those people.

He’s heard of what they do to those who have wronged the company as well as the things they can do to those who associate with them. It’s a miracle that the Ragnvindr hasn’t interacted with them at all (as far as the young CEO knows at least..), and as the new CEO, he knew he had to keep it that way.

Now that he thinks about it, just what did Crepus do if Fatui is responsible for his death?

Diluc isn’t sure if he wants to know the answer.

But he knows he has to. He has to understand why this happened to his father and where the driver ran off to, even though he’s fully aware that he won’t be able to grasp the full truth of the story.

He then considers Alice’s advice: to travel around Teyvat. The Fatui is everywhere in the world, so he plans to go through every single one of them in each nation until he reaches Snezhnaya, where he’ll try to confront those who hold the higher ground of the Fatui and hopefully learn the truth.

He hands over the Dawn Winery business to Adelaide, Elzer, and Kaeya and informs them that they can always reach him through messages. He trusts them all that his family business won’t sink and will remain as strong as ever, so he isn’t worried that he’ll be contacted to come back to Mondstadt to fix a situation.

“How long will you be away?” Kaeya asks as he watches his brother pack his items in his luggage. “I’m not sure how to tell everyone about your leave, what should I answer if they ask when you’ll come back?”

“Tell them I’ll be back in due time.” He answers, focusing on thinking about what else to bring for his travels. “I can’t… guarantee when I’ll come back. This won’t be an easy trip for me.”

“Of course not, not when you’re taking on the Fatui.” The blue-haired said, his smile begins to fade. “Just… make sure not to die while you’re at it. I can’t attend another funeral again.”

“No promises.”

The two of them then fell silent. The only noise around the room is Diluc placing his necessities in his luggage.

“...Could you at least talk to Miss Jean once before you leave?” Kaeya asks.

Diluc lets out a sigh. “You’re seriously never going to live that down, are you?”

His brother lets out a chuckle. “Of course not. I’m quite curious to see why father didn’t try to reject the Gunnhildr family instantly. Besides, I’m sure Miss Jean would handle your company perfectly on her own should you leave again, you should see her capabilities as a leader and detective–”

“Fine, I’ll consider having a chat with her if that’ll keep your mouth shut.” He said with a huff.

Kaeya smirks. “Good. You can thank me by giving me a free drink in your establishment if you end up getting something out of that hangout.”

“In your dreams.”

–

With the help of Kaeya, Diluc was able to contact Jean and see if she’s willing to spend some time with him, only for her to instantly agree and invite him to a private restaurant where they won’t be disturbed.

“It’s an honor to be able to meet you, Mr. Ragnvindr.” Jean said with a polite smile as she and Diluc sat down on their seats across from one another, the server pouring water on their glasses before handing out two menus and taking his leave. “I hope you didn’t have a hard time finding this place, did you?”

The red-haired man shakes his head. “No worries, I didn’t have any difficulties. How’s your… day?”

“I’m relieved you didn’t have any hard time, and my day has been a breeze, thank you.” She then lifts up her cup towards her lips. “If I may ask, what brings you to spend time with me today?” She asks before taking a sip of her drink.

He lets out a sigh when he remembers his brother. “Ah… You should thank Kaeya for that. He’s been nagging me to come and talk to one of my colleagues before I take my leave.”

Jean’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re leaving?”

He nodded in response. “I’m planning to… travel to some places. I won’t be back for a long time, so I’m sure a lot of things will change by the time I return.” He explained.

“I see… I understand, you need something to get your mind off of everything.” She says with a sad smile. “I hope you get something out of your trip, and may the wind lead you to the closure you needed.”

He processes her words. “...Thank you.”

Something flashes through Diluc’s eyes, and the atmosphere turns serious. “I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to discuss something regarding… something about a certain PD.” He adds.

Jean stays silent for a moment, also turning serious.

“...Is this related to the reason why you’ve asked for a chat with me?” She asks.

She’s not wrong, there’s actually more to this special hangout for Diluc that isn’t about the possible arranged marriage and indulgence. He remembered Kaeya telling him how she recently transferred to the department and had her eye on Lieutenant Eroch for reasons unknown. There’s no doubt that there’s something amiss in the police department, and it’s related to the lieutenant who shrugged off the case of his accident.

Could he be the one behind his father’s death perhaps?

Diluc feels a little guilty, feeling like he’s just using the woman for information. “Yes. I understand if you’re not willing to talk about it.”

Jean shakes her head reassuringly. “No it’s alright. I have a feeling I know where this is going now.”

She then looks around cautiously before whispering, “we are talking about Lieutenant Eroch, right?”

He nodded. “Correct. I heard that you’ve been skimming around his office.”

“You must’ve heard it from Mr. Alberich then.” She says with a light chuckle. “He’s the only one outside of the operation who knows, your brother has my deepest gratitude – if anything, I would’ve been easily caught by Lieutenant Eroch and make the situation worse if your brother tells him.”

“What’s your purpose there?” He asks.

Jean taps her fingers on the table, careful of what to say. “Let’s just say the lieutenant has been way too suspicious lately. Too suspicious that it caught the attention of a certain chief.”

“And the certain chief requested you to personally investigate it?”

She hums, looking down at her drink. “I suppose it’s for the better since we’re not sure who’s on our side, hence why I was transferred to the Lion of the South Department (2).”

“You came from the Falcon of the West Department, correct?”

“Yes. I was actually supposed to come to the Lion of the South Department in a year, but it seems Chief Varka has other plans.”

Diluc chuckles. “He’s one unpredictable man, indeed.”

Jean then looks up at the man. “Is there.. Something you want me to do?”

He crosses his arms. “There is. I take it that you haven’t found anything from his office?”

She shakes her head with a sigh, only for Diluc to continue his words. “Then you should look on the rooftop.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, now curious. “May I ask why?”

“The lieutenant’s always up there if he’s not in the conference room and office.” Diluc says. “I’m sure a man like him wouldn’t go to the rooftop for view-watching or some peace and quiet. You should check if there’s something that’s hidden in sight.”

Jean nodded slowly. “I see… Thank you for this, Mr. Ragnvindr.”

“Please, you may call me Diluc.” He says. “I’m sure this won’t be the last time we’ll interact and talk like this.”

It’s safe to say he’s right, this wasn’t the last time he’ll be interacting with Jean.

He’ll admit, she’s good to cooperate with. Not only did she take note of his advice, she also made sure to give a piece of her mind in return.

Had the arranged marriage been a business partnership instead, he would’ve taken it.

Then again, what difference does it make?

As soon as their hangout came to an end, both parties were satisfied with the information they gained. They both agreed to keep in touch with one another through texts so Jean could update him about Eroch (and hopefully something about the Fatui should the Favonius find out about something), thus exchanging each other’s numbers before taking their leave.

Afterwards, he began his journey to travel around Teyvat in search of the truth.

He supposedly wanted to stay in Mondstadt to investigate them, but knowing the possibility that they could be watching him given that he didn’t die from the accident, he instead decided to make it his last resort.

Of course, he kept in touch with Kaeya, Adelinde, and Jean. Who all informed him of updates regarding Mondstadt, the wine establishment, and the FPD. There were many good news to hear, such as how Kaeya became even more famous after a particular case where he found many children who were missing, how Angel’s Share is still the most sought-after establishment–

The one news that made him relieved is how Lieutenant Eroch has finally been arrested for many countless crimes committed, but unfortunately, none of the crimes were involved with the car accident.

He also learned how Chief Varka and a couple of officers were sent to a classified mission, which resulted with Jean becoming the current Chief of Police while he was gone. Meanwhile, Kaeya also became the lieutenant of the FPD, claiming he’s now “oh-so busy after my dearest brother left me here to rot with these never ending cases.”

In a blink of an eye, four years have passed.

There was never a moment when his determination wavered, his passion is as strong as an eternal flame that never goes out. He never fails to remember why he’s doing this and why he must finish this journey, reminding himself by remembering all the memories he shared with his father.

Sometimes, he goes back to that time when Crepus died. Trying to remember if there was a single detail he must’ve missed that could help him make more progress with his investigation, only to bring back the pain, helplessness, and guilt he tried to suppress.

He took down most – if not all – that involved the Fatui’s dirty work, brought down those who are as evil as they can be and exposed them in public, and even fought them with either his own hands or with a weapon should the situation resolve in.. an inappropriate manner.

Because of this, he’s now considered a threat who shouldn’t be underestimated.

Throughout his trip, he once helped a few people who have the same motives as him, such as a woman from Liyue’s government – the Qixing – whose against one of the members of the board of directors in the Fatui, a young CEO in Inazuma who disapproves the Fatui, a man who holds an important position in Teyvat’s most prestige academy and also has something against the Fatui for reasons he didn’t disclose, and many more.

However, the most notable person he came to work with is someone who introduced him to a secretive network. If it weren’t for them, he would’ve been killed in Snezhnaya by the Fatui.

Despite how far he has come, Diluc never encountered Tsaritsa – besides some of the board of the directors, who all have anything but good intentions towards him. This doesn’t mean his journey all came to fruitless of course, not when he learned so much from traveling around the world and encountering other people.

He looked past his progress from his journey, and after a lot of thoughts, he decided to join the underground intelligence network, where he put all his dedication in it just as he did in the FPD. Not only did he rise up into the upper ranks of the network, he also gained even more useful information about the Fatui, such as how Officer Pallad’s involvement with the accident has nothing to do with the Fatui, causing the driver to run away from the incident since the van is destroyed.

He also finds out from the network that the Fatui can’t touch certain people such as the Tianquan, the Chief of Police, certain families, and even certain CEOs of companies who are too valuable in their nations. He also gained new comrades – most of whose pasts are left behind and go on with the future like the wind.

Perhaps he too, should stop looking back with the past and not think about all of what could’ve been anymore.

By the time his journey had ended, he had a conclusion.

The driver is still unknown, but he knew the order came from either the board of the directors, the chairman, or the CEO herself based on certain documents from each branch that mentioned the Ragnvindr name. The possible explanation is that Fatui wanted to burn down the biggest supplier and the company who has unmatched wines in Mondstadt, whose nation revolves around wine and freedom, to give themselves the opportunity to have such title.

Not to mention how everything will turn out worse should he face the Tsaritsa with ill intentions. Given how the Tsaritsa is one of the most – if not the most – important figures in Snezhnaya, only Celestia can tell what will happen to Diluc.

He also realized that when he comes back to Mondstadt, he is still just as unsafe as he was during his stay in Snezhnaya.

He started thinking: what if he loses everyone he cares for? What if his brother gets taken? What if his dedicated and loyal employees get hurt? What if he somehow falls in love with someone, and they get hurt because of him?

This led Diluc to believe that it’s for the best that he tries not to get too close with anyone anymore – let alone fall in love. Hence why he isn’t usually found with people around him, besides those who work for him or want to work with him in the business world of course.

If he wants to be safe as well as protect those who he cares for, he must protect Mondstadt and be associated with someone who can’t be touched by Fatui.

When he finally returned to Mondstadt, everyone was too busy talking about the latest mystery of the nation, aka the person responsible for the crime rates suddenly going down and for dragging criminals to the FPD’s doorstep before the sun rises. No one suspected it was the CEO of Angel’s Share – not when he just came back from his journey (in reality he actually arrived back a bit early but went undercover for a couple of days before announcing his comeback).

By day, Diluc stays in his office doing his work by signing and approving documents, inventing new beverages, and sometimes serving in Angel’s Share if the days are quite slow. By night, he strolls around the city when everyone’s asleep, looking out for anyone who’s in possible danger as well as anyone who’s possibly a threat. He makes sure no one was followed or stalked, no shops being stolen, and no houses being invaded – it honestly reminded him of his old days as a detective back then.

A few days after his arrival, he received an invitation to visit the Gunnhildr estate.

He saw no reason to reject such an invitation, but it was rather a bit strange how the head of the family’s keen on meeting him.

Deep down, he thinks he knows the reason why.

Right now, he finds himself sitting across Frederica Gunnhildr in her study, anticipating for what’s to come. He hasn’t been in the Gunnhildr estate ever since his father was still alive. He always spends time outside playing with Jean back when they were kids, so this is his first time being in Frederica’s study as the head of the Ragnvindr family.

“Thank you for deciding to visit my estate, Mr. Ragnvindr.” Frederica says with a smile. “I hope your journey has been beneficial to you, how was it?”

“It’s alright. My journey’s as unforgettable as the memories I had from it.” He responds. “Congratulations on your daughter’s promotion. You must be proud of her for being in quite an influential position in the FPD.”

The elder woman laughs in flattery. “Oh my, thank you. You’re right on that, I am proud of my darling Jean. She’s been working hard in the FPD for as long as I can remember – she reminds me of my passed mother.”

She then sighs. “Oh but it is a shame she has no lover. I worry that she’ll be too focused on her work to the point where she won't fall in love with anyone at that rate.”

“I’m sure your daughter will be able to think about it in some time. Her career is full of responsibility after all, so it’s not too surprising that she’s not so focused on something else than protecting Mondstadt.”

Frederica hums in agreement. “That’s true… What about you, Mr. Ragnvindr?”

Diluc looks at the woman in confusion. “Pardon…?”

“Are you in love with someone perhaps? Surely a handsome man such as you would reach people’s interests. There’s bound to be someone who catches your eye.” She clarifies with a small laugh.

He shakes his head in response. “There’s none, and I like to keep it that way. It’s the least of my priorities since I just returned to Mondstadt and my family’s business requires my full attention.”

“Business, huh?” She mumbled. “..What do you think about arranged marriages then? It’s quite beneficial to both parties depending on their contract and agreement.”

Ah, his suspicions were right.

Despite the fact that Diluc has no interest in such a topic, he can’t help but see an opportunity in this.

The Fatui’s bound to make their move soon, and he fears they might do something to him and everyone around him. However, being with Jean means he can’t be touched by the organization due to how they can’t exactly touch a person who’s associated with someone as powerful as a chief in a police department in fear of being considered as a threat to a nation itself. Not to mention how he can also get benefits of gaining access to the FPD’s files if Jean allows it since she now has the power to get anything in the police department as a chief.

He then remembers the letter Crepus wrote. “It’ll make your old man incredibly happy if you decide to accept their offer.”

…

“...I haven’t thought much about it.” He answers slowly.

“Would you consider marrying my daughter through arranged marriage then?”

“...”

Frederica covers her mouth as if she didn’t mean to ask such a question. “Ah, I might’ve been too straightforward.” She says apologetically. “It’s just.. Your father – may he rest in peace – and I have talked about it back then, and he says–”

“I’m aware of that.” Diluc is quick to clarify. “I’m grateful he let me be the one to decide such a matter as it is my life we’re talking about. Did your daughter agree to this…?”

The woman nodded in response. “I suppose this arrangement is one of the reasons why she hadn’t thought about love as she still has a proposal to wait for. Of course, just as your father must’ve told you, it’s alright if you reject this marriage since this is just an option for you both.”

The red-haired man slowly nodded in understanding.

He doesn’t see any bad reasons as to why he shouldn’t accept their offer, but neither did he see any bad reasons in accepting their offer. Jean’s capable of protecting herself and not getting targeted by the Fatui as she’s important to both FPD and Varka, and she’s willing to be in the marriage for business reasons just like him.

Not to mention how there’s no certainty that they’ll fall in love with one another, which is something Diluc’s grateful for as he never sees the woman that way.

And if accepting the marriage is what makes his father happy…

“...Then… I suppose I can consider such an offer.”

Frederica’s smile grew wider. “Perfect.”

And so, Diluc finds himself being a fiance.

When Jean heard the news that he accepted the marriage offer, she was quite surprised, but nevertheless was happy that she’s able to make her family even more proud by being able to marry a man as influential and powerful as Diluc.

Thankfully, the two of them were on the same page about not wanting to have any strings attached between them besides being friends, as they completely see each other as nothing but such. They’ve also come to terms with their conditions about what marriage can bring to them and their businesses which all bring benefits to one another.

For the past year since then, it was evident that they’ve grown closer with each other – but in a way that friends do with one another rather than lovers. The two of them eventually got comfortable with the other’s presence in their life as they continue collaborating for various reasons. Sometimes, they’d joke with one another. Sometimes, they’d reminisce about memories. Sometimes they’d read books with each other in the same room, though at a fair distance. Sometimes, they’d wonder what it’s like to be out of the burdens of their lives. Sometimes, they’d share some peaceful silence between one another.

Those times never really changed their uninterested feelings towards each other, because to Diluc, this marriage is simply more of a promise of eternal alliance and friendship rather than a promise of a romantic future, and Jean wholeheartedly feels the same.

To Diluc’s relief, there were no actions from the Fatui towards him – unless you consider the few Snezhnayan merchants who’d come to the wine tycoon in hopes for a partnership with their business – thanks to the news about how Diluc and Jean are frequently seen with each other, but not one person outside the two families were none the wiser about the upcoming marriage that’ll be announced soon.

It’s understandable for them to not talk about the possibility of being in love with someone else during their marriage, none of them could imagine experiencing that from how busy they are with their work.

Fate really is humorous.

Fast forward, Diluc was recently invited to attend the Grand Goth Hotel for the wedding between Hiiragi Chisato and Kamisato Ayato, and unfortunately he had to go alone since Jean’s too busy with her work and will visit once she’s done, so he thought he’ll just be all alone, something he grew used to and didn’t mind thanks to his four years of exploring around Teyvat.

Then he met you.

When he bumped into you due to him being distracted by his call with Kaeya. He realized his mistake for not apologizing quickly, but when he turned around to look at where you are, you’re far from his reach.

He thought that was the end of it, until he saw you again in the souvenir shop hours later. He felt like you looked familiar when he first saw you in the shop, and perhaps you must be feeling the same way as well from how you’ve been staring at him like a hawk. However, when it’s revealed that you’re only staring at him because you remembered him bumping into you, he felt… taken back. That’s the reason why you’ve been staring at him?

He was even more taken back when you were quick to tell him how he was so rude for not apologizing to you. He’ll admit, it’s sort of a refreshing sight to see someone who isn’t so timid or nervous around him and isn’t afraid to scold someone for their errors no matter who they are. Nevertheless, he didn’t hesitate to apologize for his behavior – and when he found out you’re also a guest in the wedding, he was even willing to pay for your wedding gift if you allow him to share, something you reluctantly agreed on after checking its price. In a way, this is his payment for what you’ve done for him back at the airport (though, he wasn’t aware that you’re the same person that gave him his father’s watch at that time).

The next time you meet was in Good Hunter’s, whereas he overhears your conversation with who seems to be your group of friends. He didn’t bother listening to it, until he heard his name being mentioned.

When you explained how you don’t like him because of how rude he is, he felt taken back once again. Were you really that hurt from him bumping into you? Well, his shoulders are broad and must’ve hit you quite harshly if he wasn’t careful at that time, so he can’t blame you for thinking he’s rude for that.

But then again, he thought buying those champagne flutes for you was enough…

Turns out, it is enough.

It was strange how he keeps seeing you these days, especially this particular day. Almost everywhere he goes, you’re also there. It was quite an interesting situation, he thinks.

However, he knows that he shouldn’t get close to you. He swore to never be close with anyone anymore (with the exception of his loved ones) and you cannot be an exception. That’s why he has to make sure he can’t meet you again, for you and his sake.

Yet despite his oath, he still finds himself getting involved with you – especially during one of those encounters when he sees you in a rather uncomfortable situation.

He recognizes the two men talking to you as being the members of the Kamisato family. He would’ve mind his business if it weren’t for how you seem to be in need of help,

And Diluc is not someone who ignores such a situation.

So he comes over to where you are, acting as if he was looking for you despite a part of him telling him to not go and help you. Fortunately, you caught on to what he was trying to do and played along to his lie, something that the other two men fell for and decided to leave you two alone.

He’s not one to pry into someone’s life, but he wonders what the Kamisato has done to make you so distraught and sad. Instead of asking, he simply kept his mouth shut and offered you his handkerchief, and you reluctantly grabbed it from him.

The gesture made him finally realize why you’re so familiar to him.

The incident was years ago, but he’ll never forget you giving him back something precious to him. He really can’t imagine what would’ve happened if he lost one of the things that belonged to his father. He isn’t sure if you remembered it, but it didn’t matter, because he finally repaid his gratitude to you.

After comforting you, he eventually found out that you indeed had forgiven him already, causing him to feel a bit embarrassed that he’s been thinking that you still haven’t forgiven him.

As soon as you enter your hotel room after what happened, Diluc realizes that somehow, this wedding no longer seems to be as lonely as he anticipated it to be.

You became a familiar sight for Diluc from then on as much as he didn’t want to.

The next time you meet is in the bachelor party, whereas the two of you started to get to know each other more. You’re pleasant and smooth to talk with, and there was never a moment where the two of you felt off with your conversation despite some differences with opinions and ideas – at least, that’s what he feels – and bonded a lot on how you two have a lot in common.

You’re not afraid to speak your thoughts and even laughed at some words he said that were unintentionally a joke. Even though you now know of his achievements and reputation, you still treated him the same, which is something that made him feel pleasant. Even more so when you praised him for being such “a cool multitasker” as you watch him make drinks and serve them throughout your conversation with each other.

He can’t help but be reminded of his father, and yet for some reason, he didn’t feel remorse from that.

He’d never thought he’d click with someone, let alone having a conversation that could last forever, like he did with you. Interacting with you feels like he doesn’t have to be so uptight and has to keep up with the formalities – especially after convincing him that he doesn’t have to do so – and he’s free to say his thoughts.

When you decide to stop your conversation for a moment and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, Diluc tries not to show the disappointment in his eyes and words. It’s strange to him, why is he so disappointed? You’ll come back anyway just like you said.

As he waits and waits, he earns himself a new company.

Kamisato Ayato is… One secretive and mysterious man. It’s not something Diluc is suspicious of, really. If anything, the two of them have a few things in common, such as their shared determination in protecting the people they care for, their shared hatred towards the Fatui, their share experiences of being the CEO at such a young age –

As well as the shared fact that their marriages are arranged.

Diluc isn’t so surprised with the fact that the other is aware of his situation, but he was surprised that he sent him a warning about being careful with how he spends time with you, who is still in the bathroom doing only Celestia knows what.

His warning alone made the bartender wake up from his daze, and he faced the reality he had always hated.

You can’t be involved with someone like him, a man whose hands have been dirtied and committed things that he dares not to explain.

Once you’re entangled with him, you’ll simply be yet another person he has to protect from the Fatui and the burdens of only simply being his friend. Although he’s soon to be a part of the Gunnhildr family, he knows that won’t completely make the Fatui leave him alone. Spending time with you will only make things hard for you.

Not to mention how people would react if they see you spending time with Diluc, and only Celestia can tell how drastic the rumors can be once this spreads around, so Ayato is indeed right, he should leave you alone.

He does not acknowledge how such thought aches his chest deeply.

Still, he knows that ignoring you wouldn’t do anything but cause problems, so he tells himself that it’s up to you if you still want to spend time with him.

And it seems you do, especially the next day after that.

The CEO was surprised to see you entering Angel’s Share, especially since the wedding is today. What surprised him more was when he realized just how much he missed you – or talking to you rather.

What a strange feeling…

As he continues doing his job, he can’t help but observe you from afar; a habit that he does at times during his shifts here whenever an unfamiliar customer visits the establishment but unlike everyone he observes, he doesn’t observe you out of suspicion that you have something up your sleeve. You looked like you’re enjoying your time with your few friends, something that made him quite happy to see (even though one of your friends is someone who’s rather a hassle in his establishment when he feels like it).

He feels all the more pleasant when you decide to chat with him for a bit as though you’re old time friends, not realizing that he may or may not have slipped up a few words that he didn’t really mean, making you assume that he’s just there for the wedding to serve his finest drinks.

It’s only a matter of time until Diluc realizes what he was doing, especially when he finds himself looking at your way unintentionally. You just look so out of place in Angel’s Share in such a good way that his eyes are drawn to you, like how a moth can’t help but be captivated by a shining light.

It comforted him to see you being relaxed in his establishment – be it because he’s happy to see his customers satisfied or because you’re happy – and he wanted to let it stay that way, especially when he has a few guesses on why you were saddened whenever the groom of the wedding is around.

When he catches on to the fact that you’re also staring at him, he can’t help but feel conscious about himself, thinking about how he mixes his drinks, how he positions himself by the bar, or how he talks to his fellow customers politely, he wonders what you think about what he’s doing even if it’s the simplest of gestures.

…Is this really something friends think of about each other?

By the time it’s time for you and your two friends to leave in order to get ready for the wedding, Diluc couldn’t help but feel disappointed, wanting to say more to you but couldn’t.

However, when you take one more look at him while he’s staring at you as well, and give him an acknowledged nod with that smile of yours; he knows the two of you will eventually talk again and catch up once more.

For some reason, he’s looking forward to the wedding more than ever.

By the time he makes it to the wedding, he was a bit surprised to see that the ceremony hasn’t commenced yet. His surprise instantly disappears when his eyes land on you, who looks as though you’re looking for someone. Could it be him, he hopes?

Thankfully, luck was on Diluc’s side. Seeing how there’s one more seat that’s empty beside yours, he slowly makes his way over to you to sit on that empty chair. When he sits down, you instantly look at him and your eyes brighten.

Him noticing you being excited from simply seeing him made the wine tycoon feel.. Something. Important? Valued? He isn’t sure anymore, he’s at a loss for words when it comes to you.

Truly, this must be something friends have sometimes.

As he watches the wedding ceremony commence, he can’t help but feel as if someone’s watching him from behind. This caused him to cautiously turn around for a bit, only to find the father of the bride glaring at his direction, but not at him it seems.

He then realizes that the father of the bride was glaring at you.

Diluc couldn’t help but feel protective, internally taking note to watch the current CEO of the Chisato company should he plan to do something to you.

When the wedding went on to the reception, it seems luck is still on Diluc’s side. When he arrives at his assigned table by looking for his name displayed on the seats, he spots your name on the seat that’s next to his once again.

It made him feel relieved, knowing that he won’t be sitting next to those who would most likely talk to him in hopes of gaining opportunity to have the CEO’s attention and support in their businesses and whatnot.

When you find out as well, you’re pleasantly surprised, but nevertheless happy with the arrangement. If anything, it gives you a chance to continue your previous conversation with your friend!

Throughout the party, the two of you bonded more and are closer than ever. Diluc really couldn’t recall when’s the last time he had a conversation like this. It really feels as if he could never get tired of talking with you and won’t run out of topics to talk about.

His highlights of your conversation are the times when you laugh at his words, when you listen to him with an awe look on your face, and when you talk so passionately about the things you love.

Diluc particularly admires how you talk about your beloved nation, Inazuma. You talk as if Inazuma is your child, and you’re a parent who’s proud of it. Not only did you tell him the things that you love about it, but also showed him just how much you missed your home with the longing look on your face. Considering how long you haven’t visited the nation ever since you went to Liyue, he can understand the feeling.

Someday, he’d like to go there with you… Maybe then you’ll be happier than you are now, and he wants to see that in his own eyes.

After you explained all there is to know about Inazuma, Dilic then shares his own words about his nation in return. He talks about the things that he thinks you might like about his land, only to find that you love everything about Mondstadt and explain how much you love the place, telling him how you’ve always wanted to go to Mondstadt because of its carefree nature and kind people. It was something that Diluc isn’t surprised by – he’s used to many foreigners he had talked to telling him about how wonderful Mondstadt is – and yet, he feels his heart warming hearing such compliments about his home from you.

While he was explaining though, he can’t help but notice how you’re somewhat.. distracted, as if your thoughts drifted off to something, causing him to feel a bit concerned. Are you bored from his explanation? Did he say something wrong? Or.. Is it because of Ayato?

When he asked you if you’re alright, you only responded that you’re distracted by the sight of the garden that surrounds the open-air room. He wasn’t convinced obviously, but seeing how you don’t want to admit the real reason, he knows not to push you for it and respect your privacy.

However, asking you somehow got him to spend time with you in the hotel’s garden.

Diluc could see why the garden is one of the hotel’s best spots for guests. It’s as magical and peaceful as what most people described.

And yet, he can’t help but think that this place is all the more magical and special when you’re here with him.

“It’s so beautiful..!” You comment in pure awe. If you at least glance at where Diluc is, you would’ve realized that he isn’t staring at the view of the garden that is indeed beautiful.

“Indeed.” He quietly agrees, his gaze never left you.

…

Diluc feels his shoulders sinking a bit. Friends don’t think of each other this way, don’t they?

…

As the two of you stroll around the garden, Diluc covers topics regarding the flowers that surround the two of you and about other things, all the while you listen with great eagerness.

It was only when he started talking about his first drink when he realized something.

How long has it been since he talked to someone about his father? Let alone his past?

Was he really that comfortable talking to you to the point where he’s willing to share the things he never thought he’d talk about with someone?

He was sincerely taken back that he didn’t watch his step and accidentally stumbled from a bump on the pathway.

…How embarrassing.

His thoughts from before instantly fade away, replaced by how embarrassed he is from the situation he put himself in. It was impressive how you managed to pull him back from falling, had it not been for your strength, he would’ve been even more embarrassed from falling down to the ground completely.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t the only embarrassing incident that occurred between the two of you. One thing led to one another, and suddenly he finds you hugging his arm out of fear from the sudden appearance of your plus one.

Diluc felt like he was frozen the moment he felt your touch on him. He didn’t know what to do really, especially when you’re holding onto him as if your life depends on it. It was only by the time you let him go when he felt like he could breathe, watching you walk away first to get back to the venue.

Despite letting him go, he still feels the ghost of your touch.

–

It seems the night is still young for you and Diluc.

After the reception, the two of you proceeded to explore around Mondstadt City together to hang out more. But this particular night brought the man to something more than just a hangout.

The more the both of you continue to spend time together, the more Diluc feels more confused, maybe even worried, about his thoughts and feelings towards you. He doesn’t know who you are to him if not a friend. If you’re indeed just a friend, then why does he feel like it’s more than just? If not a friend, then what?

Deep inside, a small part of him already knows the answer to his worries and thoughts.

So when he sees you talking with someone who interrupted your hangout with him, an unpleasant feeling creeps up on him, especially when it turns out that the stranger is someone you’re familiar with.

He hasn’t felt jealous for a long time until now.

Just the thought of you being with someone else made him feel unpleasant, and he isn’t sure what to do with it. He could only watch as you happily chatted with Heizou, his mind clouded with conflicts and realizations.

Diluc realizes that his feelings towards you are something serious. This isn’t a mere admiration and fondness that will go away in a blink of an eye, but the kind of admiration and fondness that made him want more.

What hurts is that he knows he can’t have that. Not when his life is too complicated to have the happiness he wants to have more with you, not when his life is as dangerous as it can be to have the peacefulness he wants to share with you, and certainly not when he’s entangled himself with an eternal marriage with his partner who he considers as his friend to have you as his.

Yes, Diluc finally admitted it. He wants you to be more than his friend. He wants you to be more than just someone who he sees on a daily basis, but someone who he sees when he wakes up to another day, someone who he sees when he’s all dressed up with gifts for yet another memorable date night, someone who understands him more than he understands himself, someone who he kisses goodnight before sleeping away next to each other, someone who he will cherish with all his heart without hesitation,

Someone who he loves just as soulmates do.

But he knows that it’s far out of his reach.

What hurts more is how the two of you won’t be able to see each other soon, and none of you are sure when you’ll be able to.

…It’s for the best, he thinks.

The morning after, he received a phone call from Jean.

“How was the wedding?” She asks.

“It was… not bad.” He replies. “I made friends with someone.”

“Really? Wow, that’s great! I hope I’ll be able to meet your friend when I get there, they must be one great person.”

His eyebrows raised up in surprise. “You’ll visit here today?”

“Yeah, I’ll be able to come to the hotel today to congratulate the couple. I hope you don’t mind introducing me to your friend while I’m at it.”

Diluc isn’t sure what to feel about Jean’s eagerness to meet you, but regardless, he agrees to her request. “…Of course. You two would get along well.”

“I sure hope so! And if you want to, we can also invite your friend to our wedding! I’m sure there’s room for one more guest.”

“…We’ll see. Let’s meet up by the lobby when you arrive.”

“Alright, I’ll let you know when I arrive. See you there, Diluc.”

And just like that, the call ended.

Diluc puts his phone down with a sigh. What is he going to do?

Nothing it seems.

Though, he can’t help but notice how a few Fatui members have been around the hotel lately. Usually he ignores them if it weren’t for how.. often he sees them today. Is it perhaps related to a certain higher up who wants to buy the hotel?

Or.. is it related to a scheme he has yet to know about?

He thinks about it deeply to the point where he even spaced out a bit while talking to you in the garden as you wait for your friend.

He eventually finds out what the Fatui were up to when he decided to contact one of his associates in the underground network.

“The people you’ve been seeing are under the security branch of the Fatui, so it’s evident that someone must’ve hired them for something they’re planning to do that needs to be under wraps. We’ll let you know if we happen to find out who’s their employer and whether or not you should intervene.” His informant tells him through the phone as Diluc continues to stand around the lobby waiting for Jean, eyeing on the Fatui guards carefully from afar.

He didn’t have to wait for long on who’s the employer of the Fatui guards.

As soon as he kept his phone away after the phone call, he noticed the father of the bride walking around the lobby with a couple of the Fatui following him. He raises an eyebrow at the sight of the guards walking in a certain formation as though they’re surrounding someone–

Only for his heart to drop when he sees you among said guards.

What are they doing with you?

He then remembers how Shinsuke was glaring at you at the wedding ceremony back then, causing him to conclude that it must’ve been related to whatever’s going on with you and Ayato.

He didn’t hesitate to start following them in hopes of getting you out of there safely, only to lose sight of you when a lot of people suddenly entered the lobby.

He quietly curses at himself in irritation as he tries to walk through the busy crowd, hoping that he’ll still be able to see you once he’s out of there.

When he still doesn't see you, he feels like he’s about to burn this place down.

Please be alright, he thinks as he runs around the lobby like a madman, looking at every hallway to see a glimpse of you or your captors who seem to have more than just ill intentions towards you. It feels like he’s back in the incident where his father died as he feels the same thing that his younger self felt. Helplessness and fear of losing his loved one.

Fortunately, it was only a matter of time when he spotted the familiar Fatui guards standing in front of a door, holding what appears to be the very same bag that he saw you carrying at the garden earlier.

He didn’t hesitate to go towards where they were, causing the guards to notice him at last and be alerted.

“Sir, you’re not allowe–”

“I don’t care.”

As minutes passed, not one single person among the busy crowds in the lobby noticed the unconscious guards around the secluded hallway, with a tall man standing in the middle of the aftermath of his anger.

As soon as Diluc finishes dealing with the Fatui guards, he immediately grabs your bag before reaching out to the closed room to open it.

His heart drops at the sight of Shinsuke’s raised hand towards you.

Hold yourself, he orders to himself in his thoughts, not wanting to throw hands towards the man who was planning to hurt you.

He puts on his calm facade. “Was I interrupting something?”

It wasn’t hard to get Shinsuke out of the room and get you to safety, by the time he did, his heart breaks at the sight of you being all shaken up from whatever the older man did to you before he could arrive.

This is an example of what will happen if they’re with me, Diluc thought as he tries to comfort you. He knows that even though your situation right now has nothing to do with him, you’ll get more situations like this if you’re with him, making him realize that even if he’s not an engaged man, he knows he still can’t have you. Not when it’s a risk to even be with him.

He just wishes you to be safe and happy, but it hurts that it’s not something you’ll get from him.

That’s why when you tell him to go with Jean instead of letting him escort you back to your room, he knows not to insist and do what you want him to (but not before bidding you goodbye).

He feels selfish for wanting to do the opposite and go with you.

But he knows his place.

As he heads towards Jean, he takes one more glance at your direction. He internally wants to reach his hand out towards you, begging you to look back so he could excuse himself and go to you.

But you didn’t.

And so, hesitantly and defeatedly, he lets you go.

Hours later, he stares at the ceiling while lying down on his bed, with Jean busily doing her paperworks on her bed that’s next to his. He wonders what could’ve been if his life wasn’t so complicated and dangerous. He wonders what could’ve been if it were you who he gets to call his spouse instead of the one who he considers as his business partner and good friend. He wonders what could’ve been if he wasn’t such a coward.

He wonders if you think of him the way he thinks of you.

You realize that suppressing your feelings is not the way of moving on.

Love hurts. Thinking of the past hurts. You realize that Diluc is just someone who helped you with your confrontation towards the past you so wanted to forget because of the pain it brings, but he’s not the one who can completely help you heal.

By the end of the day, it’s you alone who can heal yourself.

It breaks your heart to know that Diluc, your dear friend who helped you in ways you’re so grateful for, isn’t the one you can have as your lover. But you know it’s best this way – after all, you still have to take time focusing on yourself first now that you took a big step from your burdens. All you can do is accept that he’s just going to be your friend in this lifetime and cherish that.

After all that has happened today as well as a good long hour of crying and letting everything out, you find yourself lying down on your bed as you scroll through your photo gallery, finally looking back at the memories that you shared with Ayato, with your friends, and with yourself. It’s been so long since you’ve looked at them that you almost forgot some of the moments that made you happy.

Happy.. When will you ever be as happy as you were back then?

It took a while until you finally decided to call it a night, turning off your phone and placing it on the nightstand next to your bed before trying to sleep.

You hope you’ll be able to at least face Diluc and spend time with him one last time. The last thing you want is to experience the same thing you did with Ayato and ruin what you have with Diluc before you leave to go back home. But perhaps that’s why the past is so important, isn’t it? It helps you prevent yourself from making the same mistake.

Home..

You let out a sigh to yourself, quietly wondering when you’ll be able to go back to your homeland that you oh so missed.

Maybe it won’t hurt to ask Ei for a transfer someday.

DAN’S NOTES

(the rest of the letter is blank, making it evident that Crepus hasn’t finished it completely for unknown reasons).

this information won’t be revealed in the series whatsoever but if crepus didn’t die from the accident, he wouldve decided to remove what he said to diluc and rewrite his statement in the letter to make it clear that it’s alright for diluc to completely reject the marriage offer since the only thing crepus will be happy about is if his son lives happily with someone and not be alone for the rest of his life.

hence why I was transferred to the Lion of the South Department

in the favonius police department, there are 4 departments situated all around mondstadt: the lion of the south (basically the main department), the falcon of the west, the wolf of the north, and the dragon of the east.

PREVIOUS || NEXT || VERSADIES’ VERSION (PROCEED TO THIS LINK FOR FLUFF LOVERS)

#diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x gn reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin angst #genshin angst no comfort #diluc angst #diluc x gender neutral reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x gn reader #genshin impact fanfiction

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miko-magica · 1 year

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Helpless

♡ Synopsis : In which Kaeya and Diluc never lost their father Crepus and the uncrowned king knight of Mondstat starts to be interested with a certain painter from Liyue.

♡ Note !! : Sorry I need Ragbros and Diluc fluff, It's 12am rn so don't expect anything too good when it comes to words. Diluc in this fic is still a bit like himself now but he's cheery and closer with Kaeya. Ajax (Childe) is your brother because I love him and I think it'd be a funny conversation to have. Crepus is a friendly man in this fic and I can't tell you otherwise, he is a FRIENDLY MAN (I'm a hyv employee fr)

A beautiful Monday morning. Your brother, Ajax decided this time of day would be a good day to have a drink in Mondstat's Angel share. "Ajax, if we were truly related I would question how." You say taking a drink of your Dandelion wine that you both ordered. " Well, I would question why you drink only one glass of this amazing wine Master Crepus here have given us!" Ajax said with a chuckle sharing a kind grin towards the man who returned the favor with a chuckle.

Crepus wasn't really fond of the Fatui himself but you being a big help and a well known painter as well as his associate— he grew fond of your brother. "Well I can't exactly take all the credit, my sons did help me with brewing that drink. It was their idea in fact." He said in a cheery voice, Ajax seemed to be enlightened by this news; He seemed to have gotten the instinct to adopt another sibling. "Ah! Yes I remember seeing a knight with red hair, I don't remember another though?" You say with a smile on your face taking another sip of your wine.

"Ah you've probably seen Kaeya, he doesn't look much like me. The blue haired knight with a Cryo vision. He's a remarkable fighter and though he is quite fond of drinking he's very reliable. Diluc is the one you saw, he's very serious and snarky yet he's really cheerful around his brother. They're basically inseparable!" Crepus replied as the doors of the Tavern opened revealing two tall knights "Good morning Father!" The two said in sync as they walked over to master Crepus. "Ah! Speak of the devils." He chuckled.

Ajax saw the two and never took his eyes off of them, on the other hand.. the boys also had their eyes glued onto your brother. "Hello, you must me Kaeya and Diluc? I'm glad to have finally met you both!" You say in an attempt to break the tension, Diluc turned his head towards you and paused to open his mouth for a moment but he only bit his inner lip and blinked several times while Kaeya snickered. "Hello, you must be the painter our father has been talking about! You're even more stunning than father had warned you to be." He said nudging his brother with a chuckle, you laughed from his statement— a statement your brother seemed to not have appreciated.

"What do you mean by that?" Ajax said putting his drink down and staring Kaeya dead in the eyes "oh! I didn't mean anything like that, apologies I was just teasing." Kaeya chuckled apologetically while Diluc nudged and whispered something to his brother then cleared his throat "Welcome to Mondstat, I heard you were from Liyue? How've you enjoyed your stay so far?" He asked with a smile on his face as he sat down on the barstool next to yours. "It's been great, I enjoy the scenery here a lot. The people of Mondstat are also very welcoming and kind, I'm quite glad I've come here again." You say as you took another drink of your wine which seemed to have never run out.

"Ah.. yes. I see— yes.." Diluc silently says while Crepus gave a little chuckle, as you turned to them you see that Kaeya seemed to have whispered something to him. "Huh? Have I missed something.." You ask with confused eyes, Ajax laughed through his drink while shaking his head ever so slightly almost as if he was mocking you.

— Two weeks

"Kae I don't think you understand! Have you seen their eyes? They're gorgeous— not just their eyes it's- it's them as a person! I- oh my archons what's happening to me." Diluc says catching his breath "Yeah 'luc you told me 'Kae.. this one's mine..' in that tavern when you first met, it's crazy to see the great knight Diluc fonding over someone like this... Wait til' Jean hears about this!" Kaeya said teasingly, while Diluc sat on his chair helplessly. Everytime you looked at Diluc, he started to get lost in your eyes, every small contact with you had him almost melt into a small puddle.

"Kae you can't blame me— they wrote letters ! See-! These letters! Their handwriting- choice of words I- just everything! Do you see!? Kae I can't— what am I compared to them? All I have is my honor and my tolerance for pain! How can I —" Diluc said fumbling over his words while he showed the letters to his dear brother who seemed to have been getting a kick out of his brother's misery "Hm..you're definitely— Ah! HAHAHA! OH DILUC! You're crushing so badly I have to tell father!" He says with an overly happy tone.

"What— no! Kae you can't do that!" The redhead said with a huff but Kaeya seemed to not have listened since now Diluc is watching Crepus walk across the room to you— stone faced you were. By that time he thought 'I'm through' , the nights he received your letters, the time when he'd look into your eyes and he'd drown in them. Crepus said nothing about Diluc liking you but he did hint that he knew you felt the same way.

He was helpless when your smile was as bright as ever, your eyes shining ever more brighter than it ever did. The more he stared the more he felt himself slowly melting and fading away into nothing but liquid. The more he thinks of your beautiful smile the more he falls for you, the more he thinks of what his father could've said that brought you that much joy, the more he succumbs to the gentle feeling of being around you. When you looked back at him he looked away immediately while he grabbed Kaeya's arm and started to chat with a random topic and a bright red face.

— One month later

God, he was drowning in your presence,he finally had the guts to ask you out. You two ate in a fancy restaurant, his whole being was frozen the moment he had a conversation with you going on for hours on end. When he picked you up, when you ate, when he sent you home. You chatted almost endlessly, he wished for it to last forever. Diluc was melting everytime you wrapped your arm around his, everytime he saw his father and brother in the corner of his eye cheering him on. The moment you held his hand to bid goodbye, he was melting inside and each moment he couldn't help but feel so warm that it physically made him weak.

— Two months later

Ajax grew fond of Diluc upon seeing how much weaker he seems when he's with you, how he sees his hands tremble when you hold his hand to guide him, when he sees Diluc's face heat up in a way that it could be hotter than his pyro vision. "Treat them well, I don't want to see them cry." Ajax said patting Diluc's shoulder while Diluc just nodded firmly. Even though his face was straight, he was bursting with joy inside.

— Seven months later

He met your family, Teucer grew fond of Diluc almost immediately, a new side of Diluc was unlocked whenever your siblings came close to him. He wasn't really fond of children but your siblings were too sweet for him to ignore. It's actually really rare to see him like this.

"Your family sure is something, they bring out a side of me I can't really explain. Teucer confides with me and Ajax tried to Fight me." He said with a smile plastered on his face, you can't help but smile and chuckle. This man beside you, he could be yours if you just say so. But do you really have the courage to do so? Teucer was going to go home with Ajax to Snezhnaya tomorrow, you have bigger matters to attend to.

— Half a month later

"REALLY?" Kaeya yelled, it echoed through the whole winery. Crepus and Adelinde hurried up to Diluc's room upon hearing the commotion. They saw Diluc as flustered as ever but this time he's smiling more than he ever had, Kaeya was chuckling and nudging Diluc while small "congratulations" escaped his mouth. "What happened?" Crepus asks, Elzer who followed to see what was happening could be seen behind the two also confused by the matter.

"They're together !" Kaeya exclaimed as the three took a pause and cheered, Diluc was more than embarrassed now. Adelinde asked Diluc to tell her everything while Elzer watched on the sidelines as Diluc stuttered and fumbled. It wasn't over though, Diluc was teased the whole day— it even extended to the next day, Crepus and Kaeya never stopped talking about how red and happy he was to finally be with you. Though he's embarrassed, he seemed to be more than glad to be with you. More than happy to enjoy your touch and your presence everyday.

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dawn-moths · 1 year

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“Our Love Was Written in the Stars”

Kaeya Alberich x Female Reader

word count: 18,700+

(After losing touch with your childhood best friend and first love, you find yourself face to face with Kaeya four years later while back in Mondstadt for a university research project. While part of you had hoped to see him, you also hadn’t expected it to be so soon. But the more you two begin to reconnect, the more you realize he missed you just as much as you missed him. So, with a lot of lost time to make up for, you and Kaeya explore the relationship you were probably always meant to have.)

disclaimer/content warning: 18+ content! minors dni! Mostly fluff and then smut at the end, some spoilers for Kaeya and Diluc’s backstory (though I’m sure I didn’t get the exact timeline right), childhood friends to lovers, drinking/alcohol, some hurt/comfort with a little bit of angst, slow burn.

*thank you to the anon who requested this fic, i hope you enjoy!*

*ao3 mirror*

***

Things always seemed so much simpler, looking back. Things used to last longer.

A day spent playing with your friends would feel like forever. At least, until the time came to go home. Then it felt like the fun had barely even begun.

And the four weeks out of every year— two in the fall and two in the spring— that your father left you under the care of the Ragnvindr household’s staff while he and Crepus were off on a mutual business trip in one of the other nations…

Those weeks had lasted eons.

That was, of course, until both of the wine tycoons returned and you were once again whisked away back to your own family estate.

However, even as you became more aware of just how short that sliver of time was the older you grew, you never stopped looking forward to spending those weeks with Master Ragnvindr’s sons, Kaeya and Diluc, who were just about the same age as you.

You used to kick and cry and scream when your father told you to thank Crepus and his boys for letting you stay with them before you headed home. Then, after a very stern talking to about how, if that kind of behavior was to result every time your father returned to retrieve you, you wouldn’t be allowed to stay with your friends anymore, you turned to crying yourself to sleep on the last night in the Ragnvindr mansion and the first night back in yours.

By the time you were a teenager, the pain of leaving your closest friends had been reduced to a dull ache in your heart. You knew you’d see them again. By then, you didn’t even have to wait for your fathers’ business trips, because for your thirteenth birthday you’d been given a horse, your father allowing you to ride there any day you pleased— so long as all your lessons where completed with your private tutor— insisting one of the boys accompanied you home before dark.

It was always Kaeya who brought you back, so eager at the first chance he’d practically volunteered himself before you’d finished the explanation of your father’s conditions. And you’d been grateful for the extra time with him, sometimes racing each other through the winding woods that lay in between your home and his as your laughter and playful taunts echoed through the trees.

It had always been Kaeya, in so many ways.

It had always been Kaeya who was so excited to play with you when your father dropped you off, even if just for a few hours while he and Crepus disappeared off to one of the private meeting rooms to discuss more business.

It had always been Kaeya who let you choose the games, who would be enthusiastic whether you were playing war or house or hide and seek.

It had always been Kaeya who held your hand when you got sad, squeezed it a little as he told you not to cry, that you’d see each other again soon.

It had always been Kaeya who wrote to you during the winter months when you’d become snowed in, neither of you able to travel the miles it took to see each other let alone get much further than the front door.

And it wasn’t that Diluc was forgotten. But he’d never been as willing to play along.

For a little while, the three of you had been an even trio, the boys happy to have a new playmate and you, well, you had no siblings of your own back home. You were just happy not to be alone. But as time went on, the scales shifted.

No matter what you wanted to do, Kaeya was always on board. Diluc would argue, say he’d rather sneak out to the back woods that lined the edge of the property and play manhunt or adventurer than sit around wasting time doing stupid arts and crafts projects or dressing up in ridiculous outfits in order to make each other laugh.

You’d start to get upset as the two brothers would fight, Kaeya calling Diluc selfish while Diluc insisted Kaeya was just a pushover.

“It’s all because you like her!” the young Ragnvindr would spit, clearly trying to rile Kaeya. “That’s why you’re always doing whatever she wants, even if it’s stupid and boring!” That was about the time Kaeya would lunge at his brother, the two of them tackling each other to the ground and throwing flailing punches while you yelled at them not to fight, your eyes welling with tears.

In the end, Diluc would storm off and go do whatever he did when he was alone, maybe just sulk in his room for all you knew, but Kaeya would never chase after him. He’d come back to you, assure you that his brother was the boring one for always wanting to play the same games, and then hold your hand and help wipe your tears, giving you a smile as he told you he’d sneak into his father’s study to steal some of the new paints that had recently arrived, maybe snag an old canvas or two he didn’t think the master of the house would notice missing.

You’d smile and hug him, even join him in getting into trouble sometimes, and then it was like all your worries faded away. Because there was something about Kaeya, about being around him, that always helped untangle any knots that had formed in your heart.

But your most favorite thing to do with Kaeya— not that you didn’t love the games and the giggles and the mischief you shared— was to sneak out his window on the second floor and climb up onto the roof with him where you’d both lay side by side, hand in hand, and look up at the stars.

You’d get scared sleeping alone and inevitably pitter-patter your way to his room, giving a gentle tap on his door before cracking it open with a broken whisper of his name on your lips. He’d sit upright in bed, flipping the layers of blankets back and padding his little feet across the floor to come meet you, reminding you there was nothing to be afraid of.

He’d told you that the dark was not an enemy, that it could be beautiful and inviting and that he’d show you how.

The star gazing in itself eventually became a game, as most mundane between you two often did, and you’d gradually begin to cheer up as you and him took turns creating shapes in the stars and trying to guess the constellations that floated above your heads.

Kaeya’s favorite was the peacock— one he’d made up and had quite the time trying to get you to form the shape of as he directed your eyes to all the little twinkling dots of light in the correct order— and once you saw it you hummed to yourself. It suited him, and when you told him this around the third time he pointed it out he’d just rolled his eyes and smirked, coyly suggesting you were jealous he’d found such a cool grouping of stars.

But what you didn’t know was that, as much as the peacock reminded you of your friend, the grandiose bird also began to remind Kaeya of you, too.

The peacock soon made its way into his letters, a carefully drawn eyespot feather in indigo ink signed at the bottom of every message. It made you smile to yourself, your heart full and lonely at the same time.

It was Kaeya’s way of saying “I love you. I want you to never forget that, just like I never forgot the night I showed you the peacock in the sky.” But if you were aware of the symbol’s significance, you didn’t seem to return the favor when you sent a reply.

How could you, when you’d convinced yourself he would never think of you that way? When he’d treat you like a little sister one day only to perform something common of courtship the next?

Kaeya was reluctantly sentimental. Perhaps that was a side effect of being abandoned by his birth father at such a young age, a bitter lesson to never get too attached to anything or anyone in fear of losing them. But he couldn’t help how attached he’d become to you.

In some ways, you two had felt more like siblings than he and Diluc did, for a while.

You used to wish Kaeya was your real brother. That way you two would forever be bonded, no matter how great the distance or time between you. But as you entered into your teenage years, your heart and your mind changing along with your body, something about that notion began to shift and evolve as well.

By the time you were sixteen, Kaeya’s playful flirtations and cheeky winks felt like they held more weight than before. Because your immediate reaction wasn’t to roll your eyes or slap his arm like it had been in previous years. Now, those gestures made your ears run hot and your hummingbird heart bat its wings a little faster. But you could never quite tell if he was joking or not, perhaps just being mischievously mean to get a reaction out of you which, as he’d learned pretty early on, wasn’t that hard to do.

But sometimes, when you replayed his words or actions in your head when you were alone— the way his voice dipped lower, tone smooth and tempting as his eyes scanned your body, his fingers brushing against yours during dinner time or as he handed you a book from a high shelf you couldn’t reach— you asked yourself why you weren’t willing to play this game with him, if that’s all it really was.

Deep down you knew it must be. Because, if you did decide to join in, it might cease to be a game altogether. At least, for you it would. And then what if you found out he’d been joking all along? It would break your heart. It would ruin everything. It was a risk you weren’t willing to take.

So you held your tongue and clenched your jaw when your best friend, adopted brother, star-crossed lover in a different life— whatever Kaeya was to you— gave you those winks when no one else was watching. When he came up behind you and stood just a little too close, said something about how, pretty soon, he’d be a whole head taller than you…

And on slow, quiet days as rain poured from the sky and dark clouds flooded the valley and you both found yourselves huddled on the chaise by the fireplace when you read your book aloud and Kaeya listened like he only cared about the sound of your voice and not the story, as he combed his lithe fingers gently through your hair, smoothing out the tangles while you entertained him— and sometimes even Diluc, if he had nothing better to do— with tales of dragons and knights, talking animals and princesses who wielded silver swords…

You told yourself all of it— every word and glance and ghosting touch— meant absolutely nothing.

It was all for the sake of ensuring Kaeya stayed in your life, just as he’d always been, after all.

How ironic your feeble attempt at control became because of one fateful, unforgivable night.

†††

You’d heard the news from Diluc, of all people— the news that Crepus Ragnvindr was dead and Kaeya Alberich was nowhere to be found.

Though, Kaeya had been found eventually, slumped over in a bar tucked away in some alley, drinking himself stupid as he gazed deep into the miniature snowstorm that swirled within the cryo vision clutched in his palm. But even as his speech slurred and his movements lagged and staggered, he refused to come back home.

Eventually, those who’d been sent to fetch their deceased master’s adopted son gave up. They left the tavern and headed back to report their findings to Diluc, who continued to turn a cold shoulder and act as if he wasn’t worried or bothered about his brother’s well-being in the slightest.

So when he’d told you, his tone stiff and cruel and spiteful, you’d found yourself crying before your brain even had time to process what had just been said.

“Where is he now?” you’d asked, your voice cracking as you tried to clear the heartbreak away.

“If he’s not still drowning his sorrows, well…” Diluc sneered, already turning his back on you and heading into the house that you’d known as well as your own— the house you now might never see the inside of ever again— all that remained being the shadows of your memories left flickering on the walls by the candlelight or echoing eerily down the long hallways late at night. “Then I have no idea where he is.”

However, his long red hair, usually kept so orderly but rather disheveled at the moment, and the dark circles under his crimson eyes told a different story as to how Diluc was dealing with his missing brother.

Your mouth opened to ask what the bar was called, at least, but all that was able to leave your mouth before the door slammed in your face was a broken squeak. From there, you rode into the city, spent nearly the entire night hopping from one bar to the next only in hopes of catching a glimpse of all that navy hair or hearing a burst of that confident laughter.

By the time morning came and your search had yielded nothing other than a widening in the hollow carved out in your chest and the dizziness of the sleepless night, you had no choice but to call it quits. You wrote to Kaeya the moment you returned home, the letter not even making it into the envelope before you finally collapsed into bed. It was a simple message, but direct enough.

Kaeya, it read in your curling scrawl, though this time a little messier on account of the exhaustion. Please, tell me what happened? Where have you gone? I need to see you.

About a week later, when his reply came, your heart nearly lept out of your throat, your eager, shaking hands tearing the gold envelope with your name printed perfectly across it to shreds, letting the scraps of paper fall to the floor around your feet.

Your eyes watered upon seeing his handwriting again. You could hear his voice as you quickly scanned the page, a narration that had once been so enthusiastic and charming now turned regretful and hesitant.

But Kaeya did tell you what happened, both about Crepus Ragnvindr and the arrival of his Vision. When you reached the end of the explanation, however, you began to panic. Because you were sure there had to be more than that. He would’ve told you where he’d gone, wouldn’t he? He would’ve said he was coming to you, that he’d be arriving by the following afternoon.

But there were no words left, only the frayed edge of the parchment’s end.

There wasn’t even the signing of his name, always so beautiful and poetic in his elegant, looping cursive.

There was only a shaky drawing of a peacock feather, the ink smudged at the edge of the eyespot like Kaeya hadn’t been patient enough to let it dry before sending it.

†††

It had been nearly four years since you left the nation of Mondstadt.

Four years since you applied for and got accepted into one of the top universities in Liyue, moving to the nation of contracts and Mora and ore, now only returning to your home territory for a prestigious research project you still couldn’t believe you got approved onto the small team of.

Four years since hearing from the boy you’d grown up with, loved, and then lost.

You stood before the city’s high walls and felt that familiar breeze weaving through your hair, the warm summer air being drawn shakily into your lungs as you took one, long inhale, then exhaled the remnants of your past back out to be carried across the rolling hills on the wind. You forced yourself to step past the Knights guarding the front entrance, hoping to hide your reservations at being back in your homeland while your two eager and excited classmates pointed out unfamiliar and interesting things to each other a little ways ahead of you.

They were Liyue born and raised and had taken you under their wing when you’d been the stranger in a new city, all wide-eyed and anxiously hopeful. You wished you could return the favor in being their personal tour guide, but it’s just that the ache you thought you’d left behind after departing from the city of Freedom is back and it hurts, pulsing between your ribs and making it a little harder to breathe through the season’s humidity.

But it’s the beginning of June, the sky a clear and nearly cloudless blue. The birds are chirping from the eaves of the houses and the cobblestone is sure and strong under your feet, familiar smells drifting out from the Good Hunter restaurant beckoning you in for some of your childhood favorites. Perhaps that would make you feel better.

But, then again, it’s also possible that it could make you feel much, much worse.

“You never told us how lively it was!” one of your classmates, Haoyu, calls back to you. You give him a weak smile and continue with your steady pace.

“Yeah, or how many cute boys live in Mondstadt,” your other friend, Fenhua, slyly remarks as she eyes a trio of Knights strolling by.

“I can’t believe we get to spend the whole summer here,” Haoyu goes on, turning in circles as he gazes up at all the architecture that touches the sky. Then he gives you a mischievous look as he teasingly asks, “First night out is on you, right?”

You scoff as your lips pull up into a crooked smirk. “Yeah, you wish,” you reply.

Fenhua gives Haoyu a nudge and reminds him jokingly, “So much for all that talk about your family owning one of the ports. What, were you overcompensating for secretly being bankrupt or something?”

The two of them bicker and banter back and forth until Fenhua is laughing, but the details of their conversation fade into the busy sounds of the city as your memories fill in the gaps.

You still remember how it used to feel running these streets beside Kaeya and Diluc. It was rare that your fathers let you come here, always so strict about keeping their heirs protected and secure behind the iron wrought gates of their looming estates. But, every once in a while, you were able to convince one of the caretakers who had been put in charge of watching you three for the day to let you accompany her into the city.

You’d all pressed your noses to the shop windows, gazing inside and picking out the object you liked best. Kaeya always had the most expensive taste. You and Diluc used to tease him for it, always guessing which one he’d choose based on what seemed to cost the most Mora.

“Don’t be mad that I can spot luxury just by looking at it,” Kaeya used to defend with his nose up in the air, arms crossed over his chest. “It’s not my fault I enjoy nice things.”

Diluc would tease his brother for it, say he ought to be more humble once in a while, but you’d usually just end up agreeing with Kaeya. The ring or scarf or shoes he’d pointed out as his favorite was usually to your liking too, though you’d never considered yourself confident or flashy enough to pull them off. Kaeya valued beauty over practicality while Diluc liked something simple that could serve its purpose.

You supposed you were somewhere in the middle.

And, maybe, as you were now leisurely pacing the streets, you’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of that flowing, navy hair out of the corner of your eye, hear that devilish chuckle echoing down the alleys. For all you knew, Kaeya didn’t even live anywhere near Mondstadt anymore. Perhaps that would make it easier for you to stay the season here, if only you had a way to confirm it.

But then, something made you stop in your tracks. As two more Knights passed by you and your curious classmates, you glanced over your shoulder, eager to catch what you could of their conversation…

“…Cavalry Captain is always trying to get others to do his work for him,” one grumbled. “I swear, he really thinks he gets a pass just because of his looks.”

“Aww, don’t be jealous,” the other Knight teased his colleague. “Besides, you can’t tell me that if you weren’t as attractive as Kaeya you wouldn’t use it to your advantage too.”

You felt like your blood had turned to ice, veins frosted over from your head to your toes, numbing your fingertips as you just stood in the middle of the street, your friends traveling a little ways ahead of you until they turned and realized you’d lagged behind.

“Hey!” Haoyu called, tugging you back to reality. But it isn’t until you felt a hand lightly resting on your arm that you broke from your wide eyed, seemingly terrified trance and saw they’d both returned to your side. “What’s up? Everything ok?” he asked, looking a little concerned while Fenhua looked dangerously intrigued.

“Oh, yeah…” you nervously giggled, turning to face them and urging them to follow as you slowly made your way further down the street. “I thought I forgot something important back in Liyue but I remembered I have it now. I’m good.”

The rest of the day was spent trying to act like you hadn’t heard the name you’d been trying so hard to let go of.

But now you know.

Kaeya Alberich was not only still in Mondstadt, but the Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius.

Maybe it’s a different Kaeya, you spent the remainder of the week trying to convince yourself.

But you know it’s not a different Kaeya.

Kaeya is a rarity.

A one of a kind.

You’ve never met another him and you probably never will.

So the question then becomes, over the years, had he met another you?

†††

The research project keeps you busy and focused…

Until it doesn’t.

June has come and gone and now the saplings of late spring have turned to the blossoms of early July, decorating the trees with pale lilacs and pinks, the air a little thicker, the sun burning a little hotter as it beams down on you, beading sweat on your brow as you and your classmates work day after day to study, log, and produce results for what could potentially be a very big door into all your futures.

You’re up late one night, jotting down a few more notes and trying not to smudge the ink as you struggle to read Haoyu’s jagged scrawl and compare techniques. You keep trying to stay centered and present, replaying the day’s work in your mind to accurately contribute to the project, but every time you go to put pen to paper, his face pops into your head and makes the sharp nib hover over the parchment, the unwritten words captured in the ink desperate to be recorded but denied again and again.

You’ve wondered whether you should reach out to Kaeya or not.

Did he know you were back? If he did, would he even care? Were you overthinking all of this?

Well, at least you knew the answer to the last of those questions, which was absolutely.

But how could you not? You could only assume, with the way things had ended, or rather, faded away, that he had no interest in contacting you. He’d had these past four years to do so and you hadn’t seen a single peacock feather in all that time.

Maybe he hated you.

But why would he? You’d done nothing wrong.

But what if he did? What if he hated you?

You let the pen fall from your hands, tiny blotches of ink that had been knocked loose freckling the page of your notes, and let out an exasperated sigh as you leaned back in your chair, slumping and turning your face up to the ceiling, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to rid his image from your mind.

You wanted to cry. You wanted to go to him. You wished you’d never come back to this city. You’ve been dying to see him. You were so mad at him for torturing you like this. You just wanted to see him smile at you again like he did back when everything was alright. You wanted to hit him. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted a drink, a distraction, anything to still your mind for a little while.

So when Fenhua came scampering into the room a little while later with the proposal that the three of you get out for a bit and have some fun because all this damn research was starting to make all of you slowly go insane, you were grateful for the invitation.

As you approached the Angel’s Share, hanging in the back of your trio, always the quiet, observant one of your pack, you felt a familiar feeling. It wasn’t quite dread, but it wasn’t quite excitement either.

It was more like anticipation.

Something was going to happen tonight, here, at this place.

You just didn’t know whether you wanted to be brave enough to step through the tavern doors and figure out what it was.

But it seemed you didn’t have much of a choice as Fenhua and Haoyu looped their arms through each of yours, guiding you inside with them, clearly sensing you needed the support.

The moment the door swung open, the jumbled noise of constant, lively chatter along with the clinking of glasses and boisterous shouts flooded the air around you, drawing you in. And soon, to your relief, you found that maybe anticipation didn’t always warn of something bad, but instead hinted that something good was on its way. Because, as you took a seat between your two friends at the bar, you found yourself smiling and laughing without even having to fake it anymore.

You made a toast to all your hard work so far, and to all the work that was still to come, may the Archons bless it to go smoothly. About an hour in, you felt lighter, warmer, and, with the help of some of that liquid courage flowing through your veins, a little more confident.

“Hey, I’ll be right back!” you shouted to Fenhua who, despite being right next to you, still might not’ve even heard you over the ever growing rowdiness, each passing hour bringing with it more lively patrons.

You turned and slid off the barstool, heading for the tiny bathroom where the line had finally shortened, leaning against the nook in the wall while waiting for the current occupant to exit and gazing out at the mass of moving people in a daze when you finally caught it— a glimpse of all that navy hair, the charming chuckle of a man blessed with good fortune and even better looks cutting through the noise of the packed crowd.

You and Kaeya locked eyes from across the room and then neither of you were smiling anymore. But Kaeya never let any surprise he felt show for too long, remedying his sudden shock with a small smirk while your heart continued to pound. You hadn’t even realized you’d been holding your breath until the tightness in your lungs turned into a dull ache, reminding you to exhale the air you’d been halfway to sucking down before the sight of him suffocated you.

The bathroom door opened behind you, the exiting occupant nudging your shoulder slightly and giving a startled apology. You turned your head to face her for but a second, jostled by the unexpected contact, and uttered a quiet, “It’s fine,” as she squeezed past you in the short, narrow hallway and back into all the hubbub of the bar.

When you turned back to train your eyes where Kaeya had just been, he was gone, as elusive as a ghost as he carefully slinked through the maze of people and disappeared.

You stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, just standing there for what felt like forever until you were finally able to calm down enough to think.

Maybe it had been your imagination. Between all the late nights and stress and the alcohol, your brain could just be manifesting things to trick you.

You blinked hard, trying to rid the view of him from your thoughts.

He looked the same, but also different. You could’ve sworn he’d had something over one of his eyes. The Kaeya you remembered had periwinkle eyes— two of them— and had still looked a bit like a boy the last time you’d seen him. The person you’d just glimpsed was a man, his stature tall and lean and lithe, shoulders broad and arms strong.

Four years is a long time, a little voice in your head reminded you. You’ve changed a lot too.

Once you crept out from the bathroom, seeing the line having once again grown to stretch down the perimeter of the wall, you began to take a step back towards the direction of your friends but stopped mid-stride.

You couldn’t go back to them. Not like this, when you felt like you didn’t know up from down or left from right or fear from longing.

So, instead, you turned and headed towards the staircase, finding the second floor significantly less claustrophobic, and made your way to the balcony, which you were relieved to find empty.

You leaned against the railing, iron digging into your elbows as the steady breeze sent strands of your hair into your eyes. You hung your head, slumping further over the balcony, and let out a long, deep sigh.

It all seemed like a mistake— Kaeya and Diluc’s fight, Kaeya’s final letter to you, you going off to Liyue, Kaeya not reaching out, you not reaching out, you coming back to the one place you knew you’d secretly been avoiding, thinking about him nonstop, coming to this bar, seeing him here, running away— every last decision or event that had occurred in the last four years suddenly running through your head like a sped up film reel, the images making you dizzy, little bursts of stars spotting your vision when you tipped your head back up to the sky.

You felt the threat of oncoming tears as the memories kept flooding through you— the smiling, laughing face of an eight-year-old Kaeya, you trying to stifle your own giggles while Diluc looked more than displeased— the sparkling, periwinkle eyes of a twelve-year-old Kaeya as he lay next to you on the roof, pointing out shapes in the stars, finding his beloved peacock constellation and giving a smirk of satisfaction when you told him it suited him— the smooth, charming words of a fifteen-year-old Kaeya who leaned up against the wall as he looked at you, teasing that he was getting taller than you by the day, holding something just out of your reach as you jumped to try and grab it, scolding him to knock it off but laughing nonetheless— and, finally, an eighteen-year-old Kaeya, riding next to you through the woods, both of you urging your horses to gallop faster and faster as you raced between the trees, your shouts and taunts and laughter echoing across the land until he inevitably beat you and you broke out into the valley on the other side, already having rehearsed some excuse about how you would’ve won if only he hadn’t cheated or caught you off guard.

That might’ve been the last good memory you had of him— that afternoon with your horses, just passing time until the storm rolling overhead caught up with you— the last good memory you had before you were forced to imagine him distraught, just having lost his father for the second time. You envisioned him spilling over with fury as he and Diluc threw fists or crossed blades. You’d heard that’s when he’d gained his Vision, a sudden blast of cryo shooting an icy frost across the battlefield between him and his brother.

You could imagine the look and both their faces— Diluc shocked, maybe even a little fearful, eyes pleading not to let this go any further, while Kaeya was stunned, only to launch right back into battle as his ego breathed in the sweet drug of his newfound power, his talents recognized by the gods.

And when Diluc had told you the news, told you about Crepus’s death and Kaeya’s gift from the Archons and, with slamming that door in your face, greatly inferring that no more good memories would be born under the roof of the Ragnvindr home, that had been the last that you’d seen of him, too.

It was sort of funny.

With them, there had once been so many beautiful beginnings.

But now, all you could seem to grasp onto was the heartbreaking endings.

You felt your body tense as the balcony doors swung open and then closed, the quiet swoosh and click bringing a wave of annoyance over you.

Was there nowhere you were allowed to be alone in this place? You ought to turn and give whoever had just walked out a glare sharp enough to send them staggering back a few steps, maybe reconsider where they sought out their own sliver of peace and quiet. But before you could so much as glance over your shoulder, the voice interrupted your agitation like a light cutting through the dark.

“Hey…” It was the first rays of dawn splitting through the velvety night on the horizon, chasing the stars away until the moon returned to reclaim the sky. “I thought that was you.”

Your heart was quicker to accept the truth than your brain was, your bones drawn instinctually towards that smooth, sly tone like a moth to a flame. You didn’t want to go, knew if you got too close your delicate wings would catch fire and you’d be reduced to death and ash, but alas, you drifted towards the light, blinded by your yearning to touch it, addicted.

“It’s been a while,” Kaeya greeted you with that charming smile, giving a hesitant wave. “How’ve ya been?”

You could only gawk at him for a while, eyes scanning his entire being as if speaking to the figure before you was some kind of trap, some kind of test, like if you didn’t make sure he was the real thing and lent your voice to his ears you’d be cast into the abyss forever.

And while he felt the same, what you’d thought before had been right. The Kaeya currently standing before you did indeed look different than you remembered.

His skin was still that same warm, honey brown shade, his hair still sleek and navy though worn much longer than you’d ever seen it before, a lock of it cascading over his shoulder and down to his waist. He was taller than you remembered, too, though you supposed he could’ve grown a bit between the age of eighteen and now. His face had lost the last of its boyish softness and in its place was the handsome, chiseled features of a confident young man. And those eyes— those sparkling periwinkle eyes you could’ve gotten lost in if he’d let you stare long enough— were no longer a set of two, but a single one, his right covered with a black eyepatch while the left seemed to gaze upon you apologetically, despite the unbothered, casual stature of his nonchalant stance leaning against the doors with his arms crossed over his chest, one ankle resting over the other.

Your mouth hung open with a million different words to say, the combinations of them endless, but all you could taste was the frantic beating of your heart in your throat, any of the excited reliefs or bitter resentments stirring together in your brain becoming indistinguishable.

Your face suddenly felt too warm, the summer’s refreshing evening atmosphere turning to a stifling humidity as your nerves made it harder to breathe. Your dizziness only increased as Kaeya’s ghost drifted closer, the revenant of your love striding slowly towards you while he continued to speak.

“How long have you been back in the city?” you thought you heard him say, but couldn’t be too sure as your ears were ringing, blood rushing at an alarming rate to your head, vision swaying as you gripped the iron railing of the balcony in a white-knuckled fist behind you. “I would’ve been at the gates to greet you, had I known. I mean, not that you wanted to see me, I just—”

“I’ve been studying in Liyue,” you cut in, only a slight tremble in your voice as you wore a look closer to anger than disbelief now. You cleared your throat, took a steadying breath, then continued, “I’m only back for the summer— for a research project— then I’ll be going back…”

A hint of sadness crossed Kaeya’s face, there and then gone like a cloud of breath fogging in the winter air, and then he grinned at you again, congratulating you on making it into such a prestigious school. “We always knew you were smart,” he remarked, clinking the nearly empty bottle in his hand with a half full one that had been left on the balcony railing, assuming it was yours, cheersing with a stranger’s abandoned drink. He leaned against the railing, his shoulder only inches from yours yet feeling like a world away. He winked and jokingly said, “By the way, next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

Kaeya tipped the final swig of his drink back to his lips, downing the contents and only wincing a little as he swallowed, letting out a quiet exhale as he turned his attention back out to the city he’d continued to make a home out of— the very place you’d been desperate to escape yet now found yourself a willing prisoner in once more.

And the silence that fell over you both then was suffocating. You wanted to say something— anything— so that the final words shared between you two weren’t, “Next time you see Morax, tell him I said hello.”

This could truly be the last chance you got to interact with him. You wanted to take control while you still had a drop of it in your hands, so you dug up some rare bits of courage, cleared the last of the dread from your throat, and asked him, “Why didn’t you try to find me?”

When you and Kaeya met eyes again, both your stares were wide. To be fair, that hadn’t really been what you’d meant to ask. You’d intended to start out with something much less heavy and accusatory like, “So, what have you been up to?” or “I’ve heard you’ve risen up the ranks. What would the Knights of Favonius think if they knew what a little terror their Cavalry Captain had been growing up?”

Anything that brought the rose before the thorn, feeding him soothing honey before you offered up the bitter pill.

But it was too late. The words that had just left your mouth couldn’t be taken back, and the way Kaeya looked at you now made your next breath catch. Because you’d just ruined everything, hadn’t you? You’d been given one last chance and you’d wasted it. And it was all your fault, all your fault, all your fault.

Kaeya let out a small, sad puff of a laugh under his breath, his smirk struggling to stay steady on his lips, and the fear that he’d morph to hate you only grew in your chest, a hungry monster clawing to break free from your ribs, tear through your body, and devour its host mercilessly.

“I suppose I could ask you the same thing,” he responded with a half shrug, swishing his bangs away from his face, exposing more of the eyepatch he used to cover the evidence of some injury hidden underneath.

You felt a stab in your chest when you considered that he could’ve gotten it after his fight with Diluc, the image of the boys who’d basically been your brothers purposely hurting each other beyond repair breaking your heart.

Kaeya sighed then, flashing a sliver of a sly smirk before the expression turned back to being apologetic, concluding his prior statement with, “Though, I think I have a pretty good idea…”

You still couldn’t quite believe that he was standing before you, standing this close, so much the same yet so much so different all at once. You just wanted to look at him, stare at him until the deep emptiness you’d felt for the past four years filled up with the memories of what could’ve been and overflowed.

“You have a right to be mad at me, y’know…” Kaeya continued, hanging his head a bit and unable to look at you as his mouth curved up into a crooked, nervous smile. “If I were you, I’d be mad at me…”

You remembered the time you two were sixteen and had snuck out to the city at night. It was the first time you’d gone unsupervised and the light that glowed from the tavern windows was like a beacon to your first taste of true teenage freedom.

It had been Kaeya’s idea to check out the bar, of course, and even as you protested and told him you’d never get away with it, that he was too recognizable and you looked too young, you had a giddy grin spread across your face, lacing your arm to interlock with his as the two of you approached the humble little establishment.

“The place is packed,” Kaeya had tried to convince you as you both surveyed the crowd inside through the latticed windows. “We’ll just duck in, check it out, maybe find someone willing to buy us a drink, and then be home before anyone even knows we’re gone.”

Right before he’d reached out to open the door for you, you giggled and playfully pulled him back. When he gave you a confused glance you shook your head and said, “If we get caught and have to make a run for it, don’t expect me to wait for you.”

Kaeya’s smile was soft and serene for a moment, as if he found your every man for himself mentality endearing somehow, but then he cracked another one of those signature smirks. “Whatever you say,” he scoffed. “Just remember that I’m a faster runner than you are.”

In the end, you two had been able to convince someone to buy a drink for you— well, technically, they just ordered. Kaeya had bribed them with enough money for a pint for you, him, and an additional round for your willing participant and their small group of friends— and you’d even danced together among the cramped crowd when the band began to play an upbeat jig of a tune. The night had been mischievous, magical, and probably the most fun you’d had in a long time.

Until it wasn’t.

Because Kaeya got a little too tipsy, swearing he could handle a second round, a third, a fourth— swearing that he drank all the time and had the tolerance for it— and then started to get sloppy.

You couldn’t have been gone for more than two minutes, pushing your way to the bar counter to retrieve some water in hopes of remedying Kaeya’s spinning vision, but when you returned to where you’d left him on the edge of the dancefloor, you nearly dropped the full glasses and let them shatter all over the creaky, wooden floors.

Because, although his back was to you, you knew exactly what Kaeya was doing with the girl you’d noticed who’d been giving him doe-eyes all night. Her hand was twined through his silky hair, their lips too close to merely be talking, and when he put his hand on her hip to shift her slightly to the side, you saw head on just how deeply he’d been kissing her.

Back then, you’d been more than mad.

You’d been absolutely furious, blinded by your jealousy and longing and all those complicated, messy feelings you kept contained for the sake of ensuring things between you two were stable.

You’d slammed the glasses on the nearest table, water sloshing over the brims and nearly hitting the chatting patrons standing off to the side— who shot you scathing looks as they stepped away from the puddle that was forming as the liquid dripped off the edge of the furniture— wetting the floor by their feet. Then you’d stormed out, not caring if Kaeya followed you or spent all night trading saliva with some random stranger.

Or, at least, that’s what you’d tried to tell yourself.

Truth was, you’d started crying before the door of the tavern finished closing behind you and then you’d nearly collapsed in the next alley you came across, pressing your hand to your mouth as if that could contain all the sobs that were trying to barrel out, shakily steadying yourself against the cold brick wall and feeling like you were going to be sick.

Less than a minute later though, Kaeya caught up with you, having followed you out the moment he caught a glimpse of your silhouette rushing out the front doors, and immediately began trying to explain what had really happened through heavily slurred words and stumbling strides.

“I swear— She just came onto me! I told ‘er I was drunk— told ‘er I was with somebody but she wouldn’t listen—!” He’d stammered, all the while you stared him down like a wounded animal ready to strike if he got too close, all scrunch-nosed and sharp-glared, jaw clenched and breathing heavily.

You’d wanted to hit him. To scream that you loved him— you did— not some girl who didn’t even know his name or the types of sweets he snuck from the manor kitchen or his favorite shapes found among the stars. You wanted to go home. You wanted to curl up in bed beside him like you did when you were little and still scared of the dark. You wanted him. You wanted him to want you too.

“Just take me home!” You’d cut him off, marching past him out of the alley and back onto the main streets, the cobblestones feeling much more unsteady than you remembered them before.

So, yeah. Back then, you’d been mad. You’d gotten over it eventually, really heard him out and decided to accept his apology the following day when you both were sober and weighed down with the regret that bad decisions tended to leave behind.

But now, when Kaeya acted like four years of silence was worth the same as some one-off, instantaneous occurrence you’d gone through as immature teenagers…

You felt more hollow than anything, similar to the way tossing and turning through several sleepless, anxious nights left you with the sense that you were no longer a living, breathing girl but a ghost searching for the end of its own haunting, the world moving too fast around you as you drifted along and your thoughts rolled lazily through your mind, too exhausted to be bothered anymore.

“I was trying to give you space,” you admitted with a defeated sigh, draping yourself further over the railing to match his forlorn posture. “After everything that happened, I just thought…”

It came back in quick flashes— Diluc’s scathing, scornful words upon delivering the news of his father’s death and how you’d choked on your tears and sorrow as you rode back home through the woods and the smudged peacock feather used to sign off Kaeya’s final letter to you…

Then you looked over at him and admitted, “I thought you’d come back when you were ready. But the more time that went by…”

Kaeya met your gaze. You still weren’t over the initial shock of the eyepatch. You might never be, if you even got another chance to see him. You looked away again. Holding his stare for too long was like staring into the sun. It left his image burned into your vision even when you closed your eyes and made you ask yourself why you’d taken the risk to steal a glance in the first place. “I dunno… I guess I just thought you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

His hand was laying itself over yours on the railing now, a hand you’d seen in nearly every stage of its development— the small, clumsy grasp of a six-year-old as he’d fumbled with little knick-knacks given to him by one of the servants so he wouldn’t have to fight with Diluc over toys— the mischievous fiddling of a curious ten-year-old trying to pick the lock of his father’s home office just to see what lay beyond the heavy wooden doors— the awkward, lanky fingers of a thirteen-year-old learning to grow into the first stages of his adolescent body, how he used to nervously fidget with the sapphire newly pierced through his left ear when he was telling you some story he hoped would impress you— the sure, swift strength of a seventeen-year-old who caught your wrist as you’d tripped over your own feet while walking through the woods, helping you back up and no longer attempting to hide how much he liked seeing you blush upon receiving even the simplest of touches from him.

Now, being in his early twenties, Kaeya’s hands were slender and a little scuffed, knuckles scratched from sparring matches among the Knights and a callus on his middle finger from writing one too many reports, sending messages between nations when the Acting Grand Master became too busy with her end of foreign relations and he had to pick up the slack.

But even so, they were beautiful— nails manicured and skin still soft enough to prove that, despite his title, Kaeya wasn’t in the habit of working too hard.

“There is nothing—” Kaeya began, voice stern and reassuring, “Nothing— that you could ever do that would make me want nothing to do with you.” You could read the guilt scribbled across his face, biting your tongue as you felt the threat of tears prinkling in the back of your nose, a lump forming in your throat that you tried to swallow. “It was never my intention to cut you off…”

Kaeya gave your hand a light squeeze, the small pressure enough to burst the dam sealed off behind your eyes, causing your vision to become blurred as four years worth of uncertainty and sadness sparkled on the rim of your gaze.

“Then why—” you croaked, voice cracking as the tears spilled over, clumping your bottom lashes together in watery spikes, pair after pair of sparkling sorrow racing down your cheeks to meet under your chin. Kaeya didn’t let go of your hand as you began to cry. He only held on a little tighter, lacing his fingers together with yours and making a stifled sob slip past your lips.

“I just thought that you’d be upset with me— that you’d blame me. I mean…” he tried to explain, gently wiping away your next round of tears with the pad of his thumb, tracing a soft line across the apple of your cheek. “You grew up with Diluc, too. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward position with having to pick a side but, well…” Kaeya cracked another one of those apologetic smiles and suddenly you became overwhelmed with the urge to bury your face in his chest, to just let him hold you until you felt whole again. “I guess it’s too late for that.”

You just couldn’t stop crying, the slow drip of a leaking faucet suddenly becoming a pipe burst beyond repair.

Because you’d spent the last four years worrying Kaeya hated you for nothing.

All that pain, all that blame, pent up and pushed down over and over and over again until the glass bottle was ready to crack and splinter and shatter into a million shards of glittering glass dust…

It all seemed to be remedied the moment Kaeya wrapped both his long, lean arms around you, pulling you into his chest and running a hand through your hair, combing his fingers through the tangles created by the summer wind and soothing you with a quiet, whispered coo of, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

You could barely get the words out as you nuzzled your face into his shoulder, shaking your head in miniscule motions as you muttered out a pathetic sounding, “S’ok… I never blamed you—” A hiccuped sob interrupted your forgiveness, but your tears were starting to slow, the deep well they’d collected in nearly running dry. “I don’t even think Diluc blamed you… Not for what happened to—”

“It’s ok,” Kaeya cut in, the blade of his voice sharper than before but dulling by the second, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “It’s ok. Even if he does, that’s not your fault.”

“I know, I just—” One last shuddering exhale before you collected yourself, making the foolish mistake to stare directly back up into the bright star of his one-eyed gaze, though this time you didn’t care if it blinded you. You wouldn’t look away. “I just wish things could’ve ended up differently… For all of us.”

All the times you and Kaeya had caught a shooting star arching across the night sky during one of your celestial rooftop escapades, how many times had you wished for things to stay just as they had been?

How many times had you wished the sun would never rise, that the night would stretch across Teyvat’s vast horizon for the rest of eternity so you and Kaeya could stay laying side by side, hands clasped between you while your free fingers pointed out all kinds of animals and imaginary heroes in the tangled constellations?

Not enough times, apparently. And now it was too late. You could barely even make out the peacock anymore, too many misty clouds drifting in to veil the moon. But there was one thing you knew for certain, and that was, even if you couldn’t go back and rewrite the events of your lives so that you’d never have to spend even a single day apart wondering where in the world the other could’ve gone, you would do anything to not lose Kaeya again. Even if it was just ink and parchment keeping you two connected across cities— across nations— you would take up the pen again and again until you received another eyespot feather in the vibrant teal or aquamarine or violet Kaeya liked to sign his letters with.

“I know…” Kaeya mumbled, resisting the urge to press a chaste kiss to the crown of your head. But then he was pulling back from you, just enough so you could see the flicker of appraising charm forcing itself over his features, and said with a hint of those sly undertones that usually spelled some mix of trouble and fun, “But, you know, while you’re here, I’m sure we have quite the bit of catching up to do. How long are you in Mondstadt, anyhow?”

You blinked away the remaining film of tears glossing over your eyes, gave a weak sniffle, and replied, “Till the end of summer…”

You could tell the grin Kaeya wore next was a real one, not just adopted in the moment for your sake, and after smoothing down your hair and using the edge of his glove to wipe away the last of the salt streaking your face, he said, “Well then… I guess we have a lot of lost time to make up for until then.”

†††

Standing by the fountain in the Mondstadt square, the hiss of flowing water and whistle of the summer breeze creating an intertwining melody over the cobblestone streets, you took your first deep breath in what felt like years.

Well, in some ways, it was. And even though you’d waited this long to reconcile with your childhood friend, it was funny how long a week could feel when you’d spent literal years waiting for something you thought might never come.

But, seeing Kaeya approaching you now, it almost made it feel like no time had passed at all.

Because he was giving you that charming, mischievous smile, tossing up a coin and catching it, the glint of shimmering gold flying higher and higher above his head with every new throw, and making your heart flutter with every step closer to you he took.

“I haven’t kept you waiting long, I hope?” Kaeya’s question lilted with melodic smoothness, stopping before you with the gold Mora coin pinched between his fingers.

You smiled, shook your head, and replied, “Not at all. Plus,” you winked, leaning in a little closer as if telling a secret, your past self returning to you for a moment, the way you’d often become absorbed in Kaeya’s own scheming behavior if you spent a little too much time around him, “if you would’ve kept me waiting, I still remember the way to all your favorite taverns.”

Kaeya looked surprised for a moment, then softened as a giggle bubbled past his lips, his shoulders shaking with mirth. “Well, in that case…” He held his arm out to you, his elbow bent so you could loop your arm with his, and as soon as you took the invitation, he began to walk with you. “I guess we should get going before I end up passed out drunk in an alley somewhere.”

And things seemed perfect as you two strolled along under a clear, sunny sky— almost too good to be true. And wasn’t it always when you were blinded by joy that the parasites of doubt began to gnaw at your insides? To burrow their way deeper into your heart and inject poison into your veins?

Because, even as Kaeya complained about working for the Knights and rambled on about the best new bakery in town, the smile that had sat so easy and natural on your face slowly began to become strained, forced.

Because this, too, would end.

This moment, right here, right now, with him…

It would all become a memory once you returned to Liyue, faded and frayed around the edges the more time you spent away.

“—But you’ll just have to wait to try it once we get there.”

You blinked back into reality, glancing up at Kaeya with minor confusion and asking, “What? Get where?”

Kaeya smirked, finding pleasure in keeping you at least a little in the dark, so long as the end result would make you smile. “Heh… Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he teased, giving your shoulder a soft nudge with his own.

“No fair…” you lightly protested, puffing out a weak chuckle. Then you said, “You really haven’t changed, y’know. You used to keep secrets from me all the time when we were kids…” Now it was your turn to nudge him, harder than he’d nudged you, and soon you found yourself wearing a devious expression as you remarked, “You’re such a bully!”

“Am not!” Kaeya defended, laughing as he knocked some more of his weight into you and nearly caused you both to topple over. “Besides, it’s not keeping secrets! It’s surprising you.” He stuck his nose up in the air, going from goofy to regal in two seconds flat, another habit of his you remembered from back in the day.

It used to drive you crazy, how easily he could recover from a fit of laughter or straighten his posture after scrambling away from one of his schemes— how you’d always be the one to give things away because you could never compose yourself on command like that— but now, you found it endearing. It was unexpectedly familiar. Comforting. It helped settle all the doubts swimming around inside of you for a bit, at least.

“Oh, c’mon!” You begged playfully, pouting and pulling on his arm. “Just tell me!”

“Seems you haven’t changed much either.” Kaeya lowered his voice to something a little more serious, some melancholy longing slipping through. When you gazed up at him that time, you saw the shift with your own two eyes, the way he looked so pained one second only to mask it with playfulness the next. He reached over and pinched your ear with his free hand and declared through a chuckle, “You never were the most patient!”

“Hey!” You scolded through a poorly concealed laugh, swatting him away. “That’s not fair when you were always telling me things like ‘you’ll see’!” You mocked the quote in a deeper voice, as if it sounded anything like the warm, smooth, honey-sweet tone of Kaeya’s vocals. “Admit it! You liked to torture me with the suspense!”

Then you were both laughing, stumbling down the streets with your arms still interlocked as you reflected on a few more fond memories from your childhoods together. You unearthed stories he’d nearly forgotten while Kaeya teased you about embarrassing moments you wished he would forget.

But then the mood began to wither, all the petals of your bright, blooming banter plucked from the flower of your childhoods one by one until all that was left was the thorny stem.

“I’m sorry…” you apologized, trying to swallow the uncomfortable lump forming in your throat. “For what happened— to your family and to you. I’m just… I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“Don’t—” Kaeya cut in, his voice quiet. Fragile. Like a star made of blown glass. Yet still his words contained the power to draw blood if the shattered shards were touched. His throat bobbed with a particularly hard swallow— he wanted to spare you his tears— and after clearing his throat, he concluded with, “It’s fine.”

“But I—”

“It’s not your fault!” Kaeya snapped, raising his voice over yours, then immediately kicked himself, sighing out a frustrated exhale before remedying his outburst with a kinder, “It’s not your fault, ok? It’s just…” He hesitated, searching for the right words to say. Then he shrugged, grasping your hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “It’s just the way things turned out.”

You realized then, as Kaeya forced himself to give you a smile, how you must look when you tried to fake the same emotions to him.

No matter how hard either of you tried to hide your feelings, to keep secrets, to lie…

The other would always know.

It was a part of your relationship that had never had its sharp edge dulled, never lost the saturation of its vivid color.

It was a side effect of being connected by the stars, the irony that the celestial plane had placed upon two soulmates.

So, if you couldn’t lie, the next best thing was to create a new truth.

You squeezed Kaeya’s hand back, gave him a crooked grin, and said, “Maybe we’ve both been holding onto the past… Maybe, even just for today, we should focus on the present.”

The curl of Kaeya’s palm around yours felt like coming home. Because, though Kaeya’s hands had changed from the last time you’d touched them— gotten bigger, stronger, colder— they still held onto you like you were something he wanted to protect.

“C’mon…” Kaeya nodded towards a nearby alley, the vaguely familiar crookedness of it sending a flash of a spontaneous escape route while trying to evade your chaperone through your memory. “For old times’ sake… Plus…” You started down the narrow alley with him, the sounds of both your laughter and shouts echoing through your brain like the ghosts you’d almost forgotten as your feet tapped over the cracked cobblestones. “This is the shortcut to the scenic route.”

†††

The romantic little row boat rocked upon gentle waves at the end of the dock, waiting for you and Kaeya to board it and drift out to one of the private islands in the middle of Cider Lake.

There was a picnic waiting for you there when you arrived and he’d packed all of your old favorites along with some new treats from that bakery he’d been trying to tell you about earlier. You could tell how much care he’d put into preparing it and found yourself a little taken aback considering this was your first real time together since reconnecting.

You know, aside from when you sobbed into his shoulder on the balcony of the Angel’s Share.

So, as you two enjoyed lunch together, talking and laughing and catching up, you did, for once, allow yourself to enjoy the present.

However, as the sun arched across the sky and the first golds and lilacs of sunset began to blush the horizon, the energy started to shift. Not necessarily in a bad way, but more so in a bittersweet way. Because you two could’ve shared so many more smiles, stories, touches, and tender gazes if only you hadn’t been separated by time.

If only, if only, if only, if only…

If only you’d allowed yourself to fall for him sooner.

If only you’d been brave enough to tell him how you’d really felt.

If only he would’ve told you how he really felt.

If only one of you would’ve reached out during all that time.

If only.

“What…?” you asked in a dream-like daze, laying out on your stomach across from Kaeya on the picnic blanket and gazing into his periwinkle eyes— well, the one that was left visible to you, at least.

You were still getting used to that, but the more you looked at him, the more you thought the eyepatch suited him. You could already imagine all the outrageous stories he’d made up when people asked him why he wore it or what was underneath. It made another tired giggle hum in your chest.

“Nothing…” Kaeya stalled, caught in the same dreamy state as you, his eye tracing all the features of your face. Unlike him, you still looked the same. Just a little bit older, a little more tired on account of all the late nights this current research project was demanding from you, your hair a little different, but your eyes and your smile…

To him, those would always be just like he remembered.

“It’s something…” Your voice was nearly a whisper, only speaking loud enough to be heard over the breeze, your feet kicking lazily behind you, Kaeya’s face only inches from yours. You outstretched one arm, lowered your head to rest your cheek on your shoulder, and stared up at him through your lashes. “You can’t lie to me…” You reminded him with a sated smile. “I always know.”

Kaeya let out a breathy chuckle, mimicking your relaxed posture and allowing himself to sink closer to the earth, the plush grass underneath felt through the blue and white checkered picnic blanket. He placed his hand on top of yours, gently rubbing his thumb along your soft skin, his voice growing even quieter, as if admitting what he was about to say next too loudly would wake him from the serene dream he was starting to believe this was.

He said, “It’s a secret,” which only made you roll your eyes and let out a cynical sigh, pushing off from the ground to sit back up, Kaeya following suit.

“Fine then,” you teased, nose up in the air as you shot him a playfully devious side glance, trying to hide a smile. “Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out on my own sooner or later.”

Kaeya chuckled. “Oh, you will, will you?”

“Of course I will,” you continued, now absentmindedly playing with a stray thread on the hem of one of the quilted stitches. “And even if I don’t, you’ll tell me eventually. You can’t stand to be the only one in on something.”

Kaeya let out a hearty laugh, one that made you wish you could spend every day like this, with him, skirting on the edge of arguments and making harmless jokes and pulling on each other’s strings in just the right ways.

Just the way you used to.

Just the way you used to…

“Well which is it?” Kaeya continued to tease. “Do you want to figure it out on your own or do you want me to tell you?”

You picked up one of the lingering blueberries left in the basket and tossed it at him. “I want you to tell me.” You grinned as Kaeya caught it, tossing it back at you only for it to bounce away into the grass somewhere.

“Alright then,” Kaeya finally yielded with a resolute nod. “But you’ll have to come closer. It is a secret, after all.”

You scooted closer, leaning in with one ear as if you really expected him to whisper it to you. But then, after his silence stretched on for one moment too long, you looked back to him, your faces closer than they’d been since you two had snuggled up in his bed on a stormy night as children.

You felt your breath catch, unable to tear your stare away from his eye as if all the secrets of the universe were contained within that small pool of periwinkle, and as Kaeya’s hand reached forward to gently cup your cheek, weaving his fingers into your hair, you closed your eyes.

How long had you waited for this? Wanted this? Dreamt of it?

How many nights had you mourned a kiss that would never come as you stared over all the glittering lights that shimmered along every path in Liyue, wondering if you’d ever come close to feeling the way you’d felt about Kaeya with anyone else?

As his lips touched yours, everything else faded away— all the fear and the doubt and the past and the future.

There was only right here, right now, as if this single moment was all you’d ever lived in, all you’d ever known.

And Kaeya was so tender with you, so gentle and caring. Considering how long he’d also been waiting for this, wanting it, dreaming of it, it was a miracle he hadn’t ruined the moment and kissed you the very second you two stepped off the boat and onto the grassy shore, not stopping until it got so late that someone else sailed out searching for the missing Cavalry Captain.

The moment he broke away, the eternal bliss that had just filled you was stolen quicker than a wave pulling back from the shore, and you wove your fingers through his hair, using that as an anchor to keep you two close, tugging him in a little to press your forehead against his, any kind of contact that would make you feel like that wasn’t the first and the last, a silent pleading to hold on and never let go.

“Sorry…” Kaeya nervously whispered through a crooked smile, his eyes closed and careful hand moving to rest on the back of your neck, not wanting to let go either.

In return, you whispered, “Sorry for what?”

Kaeya let out a shuddering sigh, reluctantly pulled away a few inches so he could look you in the eyes. He searched your face for something— some kind of anger or sorrow or hesitation— anything to make the fact that you couldn’t stay easier on him.

But all he could scavenge from your loving, gentle expression was that none of this was ever meant to be easy. Because easy things were fleeting.

It was the hard things— the things you fought for— that ended up sticking around the longest.

It was the things you decided to grab and hold onto even through the thrashing and the clawing and whatever other odds that tried to cause you to give up and let go that you could truly call your own.

So he kissed you again, this time with a little more urgency, a little more passion, as if that was the only response that could accurately express whatever answer he could’ve spoken with words.

He was right when he’d said you two had a lot of lost time to make up for.

This seemed like a good place to start.

†††

Over the coming weeks, the city of Mondstadt had never seemed so small to you before in your entire life.

The once uncharted and mysterious alleys that winded between the buildings were now secret passageways and shortcuts to you. The rising levels of brick and stone that loomed and casted shadows big enough to swallow you whole were now a view of Kaeya’s office from the headquarters of the Knights or the windows of some foreign leader’s favorite hotel suite.

Because, despite the fact the city still may have looked the same on the surface, much had changed in the years you’d been away. Kaeya thought he ought to catch you up, maybe make a guessing game out of it while he was at it too.

“Let’s see…” you pondered, gazing up at some luxury apartment in the distance he’d pointed out to you. “It has a pretty good view, so it must be expensive, aside from its upper level location…” You’d already guessed the vacation homes of Fontaine politicians and Snezhnayan royals, Inazuma CEOs and wealthy Liyue traders. Kaeya had made you guess the residency of someone prominent from nearly every nation in Teyvat at one point or another with the exception of one you should’ve found most obvious in this case. “Wait, don’t tell me… It’s someone from Mondstadt, isn’t it?”

Kaeya gave a smile and a nod, keeping his lips sealed though seeming to struggle the more and more he could sense your wheels turning.

“It’s someone you know personally, isn’t it?” you asked next.

To that, Kaeya gave a conflicted shrug and replied, “I suppose you could say that, yes.”

“It’s the Grand Master of the Knights then— Or maybe the Acting Grand Master?” The two of you continued your lazy stroll through the streets, your hands clasped and on your way to a lunch reservation, which you were going to be late for if this particular game dragged on for much longer.

“Hmm… Close,” Kaeya hinted, and you perked up for a second. Then he said, “But not quite,” and you deflated back into a silent, pouting frustration.

“I give up then,” you resigned, trying to bait him into telling you.

Kaeya gave you a nudge. “No, c’mon, you know it.”

“Archons know what kinds of company you’ve kept over these past four years,” you sarcastically teased. “How am I supposed to guess when I haven’t even met a single one of your friends?”

Kaeya chuckled, amused, only becoming even more so when you frowned and asked him what was so funny. “You know him,” he hinted. That earned him a look caught between confusion and annoyance. “Just think,” he tried to encourage. “If it’s someone that you know, who I also— technically— know, and they’re from this nation…” The pride that settled over his features the moment he saw your eyes light up with the answer was enough to tell you you were right before you even said it.

“No—!” You exclaimed in hushed disbelief, staring at him wide-eyed as if waiting for him to admit he was just messing with you. You glanced from him back to the gilded ivory of the luxury complex then back to him. “So you mean this entire time you were hiding out in some high-rise palace?!” You let out a scoff of incredulous laughter, feeling both slighted and relieved. “And to think,” you added with a certain air of forced pretentiousness as you eyed him slyly, “all these years I was worried you were shivering in a shack somewhere.”

Kaeya let out another burst of laughter and a dramatic response of, “I shiver just imagining living in a shack. You think I would’ve ever allowed myself to end up in such a place?”

The remaining way to the restaurant and throughout the entire afternoon meal as well, the two of you traded more banter and flirtatious glances.

You’d found yourself becoming more comfortable with being on the receiving end of Kaeya’s playful quips or the naughty suggestions he’d whisper in your ear when you two found yourselves nestled within a crowd, always taking pleasure in how flustered you’d become while he remained cool and calm in that easy, calculated way of his, the only evidence of his comment being that sly smirk spread across his lips.

Kaeya was determined to make the most of his time with you— he hadn’t gone to the trouble of rearranging his entire work schedule to match your research hours for nothing. So, at every given chance he would take you out. He’d plan a special surprise. Sometimes, you two would just spend the entire day talking, hours passing like minutes. If you weren’t submerged in research, you were out on the town with what Fenhua and Haoyu had started referring to as your “mysterious suitor”.

As soon as the sky grew dark with the lilacs and violets of night, Kaeya would walk you back home to the quaint little living space you shared with your other two classmates, kissing you on the hand and wishing you a good night and the sweetest of dreams whilst Haoyu and Fenhua watched from the window (less than subtly, you’d noticed on more occasions than not) and began to conjure up a new round of questions and curiosities about who the handsome, one-eyed gentleman really was to you.

Not to mention, how you’d had any time whatsoever to begin a courtship amidst the busy work schedule this research project was trapping you all in.

“So who is he?” Haoyu asked first, unable to contain his nosiness, however harmless it usually was.

“Yeah, and where’d you two meet?” Fenhua would jump in, both of them trailing along behind you as you attempted to retreat to your room to unload your things and take a breather.

“Is he a Knight? I heard you should watch out around those guys,” Haoyu warned. “They get bored with the girls from their own city and latch onto any new face they meet.”

“Oh, but he’s so dreamy, isn’t he?” Fenhua sighed, throwing herself to lay across the end of your bed while you kicked off your shoes and tried to suppress an amused smile. “And don’t listen to Haoyu. I mean, sure, maybe some of the Knights who are on the prowl are a little promiscuous, but if you end up changing your mind about the one you managed to lure in…” She gave you a cheeky wink accompanied by a sly smirk. “Feel free to send him my way.”

Haoyu sat on the other side of Fenhua, rolling his eyes at her and handing you the glass of water you’d left out that morning as you went to reach for it, continuing as you took a sip, “I mean, I’m not trying to sound like I’m—”

“What? Jealous?” Fenhua cut in with a giggle, earning her a sharp nudge in the shoulder from Haoyu.

“What I was trying to say—” Haoyu began again, shaking his head and smirking at his mischievous friend before looking back to you, “—is that I’m not trying to sound like I don’t trust your judgment. It’s just, well… You’ve always been like a little sister to us. We’re protective over you. And you’re so shy most of the time, especially around new people…” Fenhua sat up, taking a slightly more serious stance alongside Haoyu now, nodding along as he spoke. “I’m just wondering why you’ve caught his attention— I mean,” he anxiously remedied, “Ok, that sounded bad. I’m just worried that guy has ulterior motives, know what I mean?”

You set the now empty glass on the bedside table, looking to both your friends with a sense of gratitude, but also a slight twinge of guilt. “Guys,” you began, “I appreciate you always looking out for me, but I didn’t just meet Kaeya.” You paused for a moment, trying to decipher the puzzled looks exchanged between both your friends. “We knew each other when we were kids,” you then clarified, both Haoyu and Fenhua giving a synchronized “oooohh…” of understanding.

You filled them in, explained how you grew up together, pretty much all the way until you were eighteen, but lost touch right before you left to attend university in Liyue.

“We haven’t seen each other in a long time so…” you shrugged, your bashful smile giving you away. “We’ve just been catching up.”

And so came more questions from the two of them, naturally, but as you answered this time— in the moments they both stopped trying to speak over each other and actually lent you a small space of silence to try and address one of their many inquiries— you found yourself being careful about which truths you divulged to them and which ones you wanted to keep for yourself.

Because while the memories of your childhood might’ve been up for grabs when it came to what you were willing to expose, the more intimate details of the recent developments of you and Kaeya’s relationship were under lock and key.

Almost all of your alone time— and, if you were being honest, most of the time meant to be dedicated to your research— was spent thinking about him if you weren’t seeing him. It was spent replaying all the times over these past weeks that Kaeya had held your hand, put his arm around you, pulled you in close, held your face in his palms as you gazed up at him lovingly, kissed you…

Even things that hadn’t yet happened, but you’d very much like to try, if the occasion so arised.

“But you guys have gotta be more than friends, right?” Fenhua pushed, giving you a half-lidded look as if to say, give it up. “I mean, I’ve seen you two walking arm in arm when he drops you off. The guy has kissed your hand—!” She was gesturing wildly now, nearly hitting Haoyu in the face a few times and making him flinch. “We may not be from this city but you can’t tell me that all Mondstadter’s express friendship like that, I mean…”

You admitted that, growing up, Kaeya would harmlessly flirt with you all the time. When asked what you’d do in response, you simply said you’d just scoff and brush him off, tell him to stop teasing, which wasn’t a complete lie. The fact that you were leaving out how you wished he’d just be direct and stop keeping you guessing all the time so you could finally know if you two were more than just friends didn’t make what you’d told them any less true.

“Ok, but did you ever consider,” Haoyu raised, “that maybe he was doing all of that back then because he actually did like you?”

Yes, you thought to yourself, a million times, yes.

But, even now, that made the distance you’d just finally gotten a chance to close all the more painful.

If Kaeya had had feelings for you— those kinds of feelings— all along…

How could he have let you go like that?

“Well of course he liked her,” Fenhua stated like it was the most obvious fact in the world. She threw her arm around you, pulling you in for a side hug and saying with a warm smile, “What’s not to like?”

And so the three of you sat around on your bed talking and teasing each other for much later than any of you had intended, given you had an early start to tomorrow’s work. But for as much as you’d smiled and giggled at all their speculations, by the time you were alone in your bed again, all of that doubt started creeping back in.

Because your time was ticking down every single week, every single day, and soon, every single hour before you had to leave this little bubble of bliss you’d accidentally discovered and return to Liyue.

You couldn’t just skip out on your final year of university to chase some guy, even if that guy was Kaeya Alberich— not when you’d worked so hard to get this far.

And so a war began to rage inside your mind, a constant push and pull of leave, stay, leave, stay, leave, stay colliding every time you tried to focus on your work only to be distracted with intrusive thoughts like how many more times would you and Kaeya get to kiss before you couldn’t anymore?

How many more times would you get to hold his hand, liking the way his cool palms helped stave off the season’s heat as you strolled through the square?

How many more times would you have the chance to memorize the exact shade of periwinkle that glittered in his eyes?

How much sooner and how much longer could you have been able to learn and appreciate these kinds of experiences with him if only things had turned out different?

The dread and regret could eat you alive, if you let it, but eventually, after much tossing and turning, you’d fall asleep.

Some nights, you’d have pleasant dreams, others, vicious nightmares. But by the time you woke up, you’d only be left with one thought, one feeling.

And that was that you didn’t want to leave Kaeya— not for another year or another month or another day. But this version of reality you were currently living couldn’t last forever. You both had your own paths, your own lives and goals and dreams.

It was unfair to choose. Cruel to choose.

It was a painful reminder that to love was to suffer, one way or another.

At least, you thought, this time you wouldn’t be suffering alone.

†††

With summer on its deathbed, so was the stress of completing your research in Mondstadt.

You were relieved to have finished on time, to have all those early mornings, hectic afternoons, and sleepless nights behind you. But that relief was merely the honey that came before the bitter pill you knew you’d have to force yourself to swallow.

Kaeya was better at masking it than you were, all his playful remarks and charming smiles working overtime to put you at ease and brighten your spirits. But, behind that disguise was a sense of loneliness.

Your grins were lonely too, every upturn of the corners of your mouth hosting a silent apology for something that wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Time was running out, Kaeya knew. He could hear it woven into your words and embroidered around the edges of your laughter. But despite the summer coming to an end, he was determined to make every day that you two had left together count.

He’d spent the last few weeks planning a most special surprise for the both of you to share.

“So you really aren’t gonna tell me this time…” you kept on pressing as you leaned closer into Kaeya’s side, both of you strolling along with your arms linked under a sunset sky. “Are you?” Velvety lilacs bled into the sky more and more with every hill you climbed, chasing away the soft blues and pale golds of daylight’s final moments.

Kaeya chuckled, shook his head, and replied, “Nope. You’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The two of you had left the city, the walls that still held the ghosts of so many childhood memories growing smaller in the distance every time you peaked behind you.

“Well, can you at least tell me if we’re almost there?” you asked a little while later, part of you starting to wonder if he was playing a trick on you.

“Hmm… I could…” Kaeya teased, pretending to weigh his options. Then he flashed you a mischievous grin and said, “But I think it’s more fun to watch you squirm.” That earned him a jab in his ribs from your elbow, but your playful, otherwise painless assault only won you another chuckle from him. “Alright, alright,” Kaeya caved, slipping his arm around your waist and tugging you closer to his side. “We’re almost there.” He kissed the top of your head, his mischief softening to something a little more demure. “I promise it’ll be worth the wait.”

The remaining trek didn’t last long, thankfully for your giddy impatience, and as you reached the top of the final slope and took in the view, you sucked in a gasp.

“Kaeya!” you exclaimed, covering your mouth as if that would muffle your awe and excitement. “Don’t tell me— Is this really for us?”

Kaeya stood next to you, hands on his hips, looking rather pleased with himself as he surveyed the private campsite he’d set up for the two of you, a large tent with an open roof to view the stars placed across from a crackling bonfire, a case full of cold drinks and food you two could cook together doubling as a makeshift bench for the time being.

Kaeya pretended to scan the horizon, sweeping his gaze from one side of the cliff to the next as he shielded his eye from a sun no longer present. “Well, considering there’s no one else here…” he shrugged, sneaking you a wink and a playful side glance. Then, pulling you back in close to whisper in your ear he said, “Think you can still find our favorite constellation?”

And you were so happy in that moment that the reminder of your dwindling time left together was temporarily forgotten. You felt almost like you could cry, though this time for completely different reasons.

You were just taking everything in— the sight of the fire glowing through the dusk and the sound of nature’s ambient buzz and the feeling of longing, once starved, now being fed for the first time in years, swelling in your chest— so you didn’t even notice how long you’d remained silent, awe-struck, until you heard the nervous tremble in Kaeya’s next words.

“I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay the whole night here if you’re not comfortable…” he gently backpedaled, though where his hand rested on your hip didn’t waver. “I don’t want to assume—”

“Kaeya…” you cut him off, wanting to sound as sure about your answer as you felt, but the emotions flooding you made the end of his name quiver.

You cleared your throat, turned to better face him, and looked into his periwinkle eye, studied how it glittered so brilliantly even in the dark, like he held a galaxy within him, celestial and divine. Then you cupped his face in your hands, his skin cool against your summer-warmed palms, and said, “I have spent years waiting— hoping— for something like this. So please…”

Kaeya’s simmering apprehension turned to the still waters of relief as a fresh smile was cast upon you, offering you his hand the way he’d done so many times before, only this time, you knew the intention held much more weight than helping you up after a picnic in the glade or lending assistance dismounting a horse. He said, “Then, shall we?” and the yes that left your mouth held all the adoration that had been hibernating in your heart during those long, lonely years.

†††

As you and Kaeya sat huddled beside each other after the barbeque, nearly dozing off with bellies full and cravings for all your childhood favorites satisfied, a serene silence filled the place where laughter and conversation had previously been. You stared into the fire, once dancing, now dying, and swore you kept catching glimpses of memories long forgotten forming in the flames.

It made you miss Diluc too, in a strange way, wishing he could’ve been here to recount adolescent mischief and humorous anecdotes that were sure to cause him and Kaeya to bicker. But what had happened between the brothers was still a wound you didn’t dare dress. You doubted the bandage of your comfort was enough to heal such an injury, especially one that was likely already long scarred over, irreparable.

“Ah— Found it,” Kaeya finally spoke, breaking you from your bittersweet pondering. When you followed the line of his pointing finger, your gaze landed on that glittering group of familiar stars. As Kaeya leaned back to lay across the blanket beneath you two, he clasped his hands behind his neck and said through a dreamy sigh, “It’s been a while, old friend…”

After a moment, you lay back to join him. But that’s when the pang of regret and guilt you’d been trying so hard to avoid returned to poke its pointed edge in through your ribs, aiming for your fragile heart.

In a voice strained with tears soon to come, you said, “I have to go back to Liyue in less than a week…” To this, Kaeya merely turned his head to better look at you, that slight crinkle of elegant worry tugging at his brow. You blew out a deep, shuddering breath, hoping to compose yourself. “I just wish—” You swallowed, squeezed your eyes shut, then tried again. “I just wish we had more time.”

You couldn’t look at him. As much as you could feel his gaze studying you, as much as you wanted to glance over and learn those twitches in his expression, read his face over and over again like it was your favorite book, pages dog-eared and passages underlined and annotated with meticulous care, you couldn’t.

The moment you caught your reflection in all that shimmering periwinkle would be the last drop to burst the dam.

But Kaeya had never been much for flowing water. His area of expertise was freezing it, preserving it with frosted, crystalline beauty until such a time came when the heat of a flame or the shift to a warmer season caused his ice sculpture of love to melt.

“Hey, hey…” he cooed, flipping to his side, readying himself to comfort you. “This doesn’t have to be the end.” But you both knew it was more complicated than that. You both had obligations and responsibilities that would keep you apart, people who counted on you who you couldn’t abandon.

It seemed both of you had made a habit of abandoning yourselves, sacrificing what your hearts told you to be sacred and true all for the sake of opportunity or status.

“I’ll wait for you, y’know?” When he first said it, you could’ve sworn you hadn’t heard him right. Blinking back your misting sorrows, you choked out an uncertain, “What?” and when the boy you’d loved for so long, now a man who loved you right back, repeated the first four words of the loyal vow, well…

You didn’t have the strength to hold back your emotions anymore.

But Kaeya was smiling as he wiped your tears. He offered to help you find a position in Mondstadt once you graduated, if that was something you wanted. With his connections through the Knights, after all, he should be capable of pulling a few strings.

It was sort of overwhelming, hearing him ramble off his plans— plans that sounded like he’d already put quite some thought into them, actually— to make this work between you two. You weren’t giving a clear indication to whether or not you were on board with his efforts, but truth be told you were still recovering from being blindsided by his promise.

I’ll wait for you.

How long had he already been waiting?

The way he spoke now, so hopelessly sure of himself, made it seem like just as long as you had. When you finally forced yourself to meet his eyes, you thought it might’ve been even longer.

“Please—” Kaeya practically begged, taking both your hands in his, clasping them between the two of you as if they were a sacrosanct talisman he was praying upon, gracing the very Archons themselves. “I’ve already lost you once. Don’t make me lose you again…”

He’d been just as terrified as you back then, racing through the pouring rain on horseback, blood painting the right side of his face where his eye was matted shut with rusted red, hands numb with the newfound cold that laced its way through his bones— yet as he dashed from the scene, leaving the news of his second father’s death and the remnants of the battle against his brother behind him, what he thought of wasn’t the loss of the only family he’d probably ever be able to recall…

He thought of losing you.

He thought of the scared, sorrowful look you’d give him if you ever came to learn the full truth of that night, and it had torn him apart with every gallop his steed took further into the piney tangle of the woods.

So, finally able to utter a response, no matter how simple, you whispered, “Ok.”

“Ok?” he muttered, tasting the answer with his own tongue and then reveling in the sweetness of it. Pressing his forehead to yours, letting his eye fall shut and feeling his heartbeat drum a little less frantic, he whispered those two magic syllables once more, as if finally granting himself the right to reclaim something from his past that wasn’t marred by mystery or mourning, “Ok…”

Suddenly you felt a giggle bubbling up in your chest, finding it ironic that you now felt the need to comfort him. “You could always find a way to take a business trip to Liyue sometime, too,” you suggested. “But, to answer your previous question. Yes, I would most definitely accept a position in Mondstadt after graduation if given the chance.”

Lightly nudging his nose to yours, Kaeya was able to smile again. Because, so long as the two of you were together, everything would turn out ok. You’d figure it out, lean on each other when things got tough, and whether you were together or apart, you’d forever be linked by the night.

“Just look for the peacock in the sky,” he muttered, his mouth hovering right over yours, the gentle fan of his cool breath melting you from the inside out. “Remember that it’s me looking after you…”

†††

The tent was bigger on the inside than it appeared. Spacious, with an abundance of blankets and pillows and room to nest. The ceiling opened to let the stars in, so many twinkling lights serving as a reminder of just how many times you and Kaeya must’ve looked up at the same exact constellations and had all those fond childhood memories come rushing back.

That, in itself, was its own kind of unbreakable bond.

And he was right. No matter how far the distance between you two spanned, you felt closer to him knowing the peacock was glittering somewhere above your head.

You two were just settling in, getting comfortable when you had the sudden urge to seek him out for another kiss. You’d never grow tired of the way his lips felt against yours, the way he tasted of crisp winter air and dandelion wine. The way his long fingers wove into your hair, so tender yet so desperate to hold you and never let go.

Kaeya deepened the kiss, his tongue teasing along the seam of your lips until they parted for him to give a sample of your flavor, something subtly sweet but no less satisfying. Before you knew it— not even having the chance to think about it— you were being pulled into his lap, your thighs straddling his hips as both your motions became more erratic, any and all savoring smoothness slowly saturating to the vibrant colors of desire, your stomach fluttering with that warm, rolling feeling as yearning turned lazily inside of you.

Your fingers had found their way into the river of his silky, navy strands, reminded how shiny and soft Kaeya’s hair had always been, the envy of everyone, just like most traits he’d been blessed by the Archons with.

It was quickly becoming clear that both of you wanted more of each other— far more than you’d gotten thus far— but before things could go too far too fast, Kaeya pulled back, giving you both a moment to catch your breath before asking if you’d done this before.

Suddenly more abashed by his question than the act you’d fully been ready to engage in, you said that you had, but only once. It had been when you’d first started university. It hadn’t been a particularly notable experience, but also not a horrible one either.

“I imagined it was you…” you admitted, unable to hold his gaze as you confessed something you now had regrets about. If you would’ve known you’d end up here, you would’ve saved the first time for him.

“C’mon now,” Kaeya began, letting out a breathy chuckle as he lightly hooked a finger under your chin, guiding your gaze back up to meet his. “Don’t say that.” You were about to interject, unsure whether the words that would leave your mouth would be assurance that you were telling the truth or a scolding for him not to tease you, but before you could say anything he continued with a sly, flirtatious whisper of, “Besides, if he didn’t leave much of an impression, he could never compare to me…”

You felt your face burn with shame and annoyance, flashing an adorably stunned scowl, mouth agape with a silent gasp which only made Kaeya laugh. Once he regained some of his composure though, he faded back into that soft, intimate security you never get tired of, resting his hands on your hips and assuring you in earnest that he was going to take good care of you. That you had nothing to worry about with him. That you were safe. You were loved.

“I got you…” he cooed as he helped you undress, every article of clothing he rid your body of removed with slow, savoring intention, his gaze tracking the newly exposed flesh with reverence, worshiping your figure with his single-eyed stare.

And you watched Kaeya undress too, enamored with all that beautiful brown skin, the glow of the moon outlining him in its silvery light, tracing over the toned expanse of his chest and broad shoulders, counting the new scars he’d earned over the years but finding they did nothing to take away from his regal beauty.

“Your eyepatch…” you then muttered as he drew closer to settle his skin against yours. “Are you going to…?”

Kaeya then seemed to become a little self conscious, as if he’d forgotten about it entirely until you’d spoken of its existence. His fingers hovered over the black material hiding his right eye, frozen in the decision to show you what was hidden underneath or not.

“No, y’know what…” you assured him, taking his hesitant hand in yours. “It’s ok. I don’t care about that. If it’s a secret you want to keep for yourself,” you said, “I’ll respect that.”

Kaeya looked like he wanted to tell you something— maybe he wanted to tell you everything— but then decided against it. Perhaps another time. Surely when you were both fully clothed and not so distracted by each other’s bodies the way you were now.

And then you were laying under him, and he was kissing you again in that way that made any and all thoughts that weren’t concerning right here and right now dissipate, and his hands felt cold like they usually did but his mouth was so much hotter than before. Goosebumps rose over your skin as his skilled touch explored the soft curves and planes of your form, both eager and patient at the same time, searching for the places that you responded to most and paying them more attention until you were gifting him soft whines and lilting mewls, gasps hitching as his mouth sucked his own pattern of constellations into your skin.

It was almost too much for you and all he’d done was kiss and touch you. It was enough to convince you that, like Kaeya had previously said, whether just a joke meant to fluster you or not, when you’d been imagining the boy who’d taken your virginity had been Kaeya back then, he hadn’t even come close.

This felt like worship.

Heavenly.

Divine.

For a moment, it made you think perhaps Kaeya was an Archon disguised as a human. His natural beauty was enough to rival the gods, a fact that presented itself at an early age, and his bountiful talents for combat and charming conversation were even more evident of such an assumption.

But for Kaeya, he saw you as the otherworldly deity, captivated most by the things only he got to know about you, like the way you sighed his name when he kissed your neck and the way your fingers felt tugging in his hair as he laved over the sensitive bud of your breast, feeling it furl even tighter in his mouth and earning another pleasured whine from your throat.

You felt yourself nearing an edge you hadn’t faced in a long time, and for a moment you tried to push him away, needing a moment to regain even a sliver of yourself before truly allowing it all to let go.

Kaeya prayed that you didn’t want to stop, but was also willing to do whatever it took to make you comfortable in this new, still so unexplored situation. He told you that if you needed to wait, he’d wait as long as it took. He’d already spent years waiting for this, and if it meant getting to have you of your own volition, there was no span of time he wasn’t willing to endure.

“No…” you breathed, cradling his face in your trembling palms, making sure he didn’t take his periwinkle gaze off you. “No, I want to keep going… I just…” You closed your eyes for a moment, swallowed down the fear, remembering his promise to take care of you. “I want to keep going.”

So Kaeya prepared you the best he could, slowly working you open with his fingers and paying close attention to how your body reacted to that slight stretch, letting out a hiss as he felt you clench around him before he was even really inside yet. He couldn’t believe this moment— one he’d spent countless nights falling asleep to or kept wide awake by for years— was actually happening.

By the time he was lining himself up with your entrance, your pulsing little hole already trying to swallow up his length before he’d barely nudged the tip in, Kaeya was sure he was experiencing pure ecstasy. It was hard not to sink into you down to the hilt in one harsh thrust, but he’d made you a promise and he intended to keep it.

After you’d adjusted to the sweet sting of him nestled inside of you, both of you taking time to catch your breath and relax a little, Kaeya began to move, holding you close as his hips rolled slow and rhythmic to meet the apex of your thighs, deepening the connection between your two bodies with each new motion and drinking in every sound of pleasure that left your pretty little mouth.

He couldn’t help but mark you with more bruises, wanting to claim you as his but not go so far as to hurt you. He was first and foremost focused on making you feel good. That way, in turn, you could make him feel good. And so the back and forth, endless cycle of drawing pleasure from each other’s bodies filled the tent with his strained whimpers and your delectable, melodic little whines.

Reaching a hand down to massage more gentle circles on your already overstimulated, swollen little clit, Kaeya’s thrusts picked up speed. Your tight cunt was constricting around him so hard he knew he didn’t have much longer before he lost control, but he was on a mission to make sure you came first.

“Kaeya—!” You called out through a clipped moan. And, Archons, you were so beautiful like this. Always so, so beautiful without even having to try. And Kaeya loved you. Kaeya loved you.

When you reached your limit, entire body tensing as wave after wave of pleasure washed through your veins, Kaeya gave a few more deep rolls of his hips and then he too was coming undone, filling you to the brim and stroking your face with the back of his hand as you both rode out the aftermath of the high.

The next thing you knew, you were wrapped up in Kaeya’s arms again. He held you close, and like this, listening to the steady beat of his heart as your vision swirled with sparkling stars, you felt like you were in a dream, drifting off to sleep on this cloud of warmth and pleasure.

And you loved him. Archons, you loved him.

The last thought you could recall before falling unconscious was that all this had been worth the wait, and a little while later, after Kaeya had cleaned you up, careful not to wake you, and bundled you both up in the blankets, snuggling back in close to you, he whispered those words out loud, meaning every syllable even if you weren’t able to hear them.

“I’ve always loved you,” he said, his voice a ghost drifting away on the next breeze. “And I’m never going to lose you again.”

Kaeya was quick to doze off beside you, and there was just a sense that, by the time you both woke up tomorrow, all your old wounds would be healed.

†††

The final day of your summer in Mondsadt was coming to a close, the city of contracts calling you and your classmates back to begin a new semester. But, as you stared out at the city of freedom, the landscape glowing gold with the setting sun, you were relieved to find you didn’t feel sad.

You, Kaeya, and your two research partners had all gone for a nice lunch that day. You thought it might be important for your friends to get to know your boyfriend a little better, now that you were lucky enough to be able to refer to Kaeya as such. So, throughout a lengthy afternoon full of laughter and banter, food and drinks, the time arrived for you to return to your temporary apartment and pack your things.

Kaeya offered to help, but you insisted all he had to do was make himself comfortable, unable to hide a smirk as he chose to lounge across your bed rather than take the chair by the desk, already acting right at home.

Neither of you really talked about it— how much you were going to miss each other— but that was all well and good with you.

Besides, Kaeya had already made arrangements to come visit you in Liyue a few weeks from now, wanting you to give him the full tour once you’d gotten all settled in and back to the normal swing of your routine. In between now and then though, you’d both spend your time writing letters and counting down the days. You were excited to see his messages signed off with that indigo eyespot feather again. Just the thought had your heart skipping a beat.

Waving goodbye to Kaeya as you crossed the bridge leading away from Mondstadt, his lithe silhouette shrinking by the stone arches more and more every time you dared glance back, the sky entering its era of peach and lilac before shrouding the valleys with its velvet navy, you found yourself craving the darkness of night.

Because, from now on, all you’d have to do to be reminded Kaeya was with you was to look up and find the peacock in the stars.

***

(Hello and thank you for reading! Also, to the person who requested this fic— first and foremost, I sincerely hope you enjoyed, and second, thank you for making such a nice request!

I had a lot of fun writing for Kaeya again. I guess I kind of can’t help but make him soft and tender in the end haha. I think he talks a big game and plays up his whole flirtatious side but deep down what he really wants and needs is a deep emotional connection as well.

Anyway, thanks again for reading, and if anyone else is ever interested in making a request, please check out my request guidelines.

See you next time <3)

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himeryu · 2 years

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Away (Kamisato Ayato x Reader)

CH NOTES: established relationship, childhood friends, implied one-sided love/ unrequited love, oneshot, angst, open ending.

PAIRING: Ayato x Gunnhildr!Reader (gender neutral)

SUMMARY: Ayato waits for you to come back to him.

... navigation masterlist

Ayato stays locked up in his office as he completes his work. His mind is unable to focus as the thoughts of the season plague his mind. Summer has arrived in Inazuma. He used to look forward to summer. Playing under the hot summer sun while drinking cool boba with his family by his side. It was during this season he felt free from the burden of his clan.

But now he eagerly waits for a certain someone to arrive in Mondstadt– you.

He smiles alone in his office as he recalls the summer days he spent with you. You are older than Ayato; more mature than him, yet more playful than him. He concludes it was because of the difference in your upbringing. You grew up in the land of free, Mondstadt, and he grew up in the land of eternity, Inazuma.

You were different than him, yet so similar. If Kamisato Ayato had to describe your entire personality in one word, it would be free. It was Cliche since you hail from Mondstadt and are an anemo vision user, after all. But no other word could perfectly describe your personality.

He recalls your first meeting, how his eyes widened in confusion as you greet him in Mondstadt etiquette.

He continues to bask in memories of you– engraving you into his heart, memorizing your habits and hobbies. Afraid that one day he might forget everything about you. His heart aches at the thought. He can’t forget you, he told himself– you were there for him at his toughest.

But did you forget about him?

He bites his lower lip.

It has been five years since you last visited Inazuma; four years since your last letter to him; three years since Inazuma closed its borders; and one year since Inazuma opened its borders to foreign visitors again. Yet where are you? Ayato sighs to himself, rubbing his nose bridge as his thoughts once again get plagued by you– the Mondstadt noble who barged into his life unannounced and left unannounced.

five years ago, in the year he just turned 18, you didn’t come. All that arrived from Mondstadt was his now retainer and a letter from you. He sighs as he opens his drawer, unveiling the very letter he received from you all those years ago.

Ayato grabs it, scanning the paper. It has been five years since this letter found its way to his doorstep, yet the letter is still in great shape because of his care. He unfolds the letter, rereading the contents for the umpteenth time.

To Kamisato Ayato,

Happy birthday, you have finally turned 18! I was getting tired of being the only adult between the 3 of us. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to visit Inazuma this summer. As much as I wanted to see you and have your first drink of Mondstadt’s famous dandelion wine, problems occurred.

You might’ve heard of it— I mean, of course, you would! Though, let me retell it to you. Master Crepus, someone very dear to me, passed away, and his son, Diluc Ragnvindr ran away. Because of that, politics in Mondstadt has been pretty hectic. I had to assist my sister with Ordo Favonius's affairs— even though I’m not a knight!

Also, I recently heard an acquaintance of mine would visit Inazuma to find his long-lost father or something— I forgot! But anyway, his name is Thoma. So if you ever come across a blonde-haired man with green eyes, take good care of him for me, alright?

Anyways, I promise I will make it up to you next summer! I’ll even bring extra dandelion wine from the vault of Dawn Winery for us to drink together!! So, let’s see again next summer, Ayato. :D

— [Name] Gunnhildr.

Ayato smiles to himself– the contents of your letter never get old. Yet he still can’t help but think how time traveled so fast. He is no longer 18 years old, he has drunk Mondstadt’s famous Dandelion Wine, and Thoma, your acquaintance, is now one of the people he trusts the most. But the only thing that didn’t change, was you not coming back next summer.

He puts down the paper with a painful expression. How can he ever forget about you? when he can’t seem to remove the very existence that reminds him of you?

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dandelion-wings · 10 months

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it's really easy to write young!Kaeya as abused before Crepus took him in, I have read and enjoyed those fics, but I honestly enjoy much more the concept that a lot of his reactions at first just look like the way people expect an abused kid to act (being unfamiliar with the sky and hence agoraphobic and fearful outdoors, quiet and retiring at first because he's still adapting to the language and customs and doesn't want to be found out through a mistake, flinchy around adult strangers because. they're adult strangers and he's a malnourished little kid, with the aforementioned fear of exposing himself only magnified by the Adult Strangers part, etc.), and once he realizes that this is making Crepus concerned about him, he feels obliged to play it up because it's getting him more care and attention and thus securing his place with the Ragnvindrs. but it leads to really awful presumptions about his original father and he hates that. that part is awful and he never really gets over it.

(someday I will finish the wingfic, in which this has become an unexpectedly significant part. but I enjoy it as a thing in general)

but the addendum to that line of thinking is that, depending on what other people know about the fight and about Diluc and Kaeya's relationship in general, it is possible to likewise take Kaeya's... ~everything~ as an adult and attribute that to abuse at the Dawn Winery. he used to be quiet and reserved and Diluc's shadow, but he's blossomed into a much more charismatic individual since Diluc left and he moved away from the Winery. he was injured in the fight, but refuses to say more than that he provoked it, and sometimes, in his cups (or during his first frantic refusal to let anyone investigate or press charges), that he deserved it. he tends to avoid going to the Winery and acts as if he has none of the family privileges. despite his friendly mask, some people can definitely catch glimpses behind it, and there's a wariness there about opening up to people and a whole fucking lot of trauma. he hates when people make these assumptions just as much as he did the ones about his original father, but they're pretty impossible to believably deny without peeling the lids off a lot of boxes he doesn't want anyone touching.

anyway, the specific upshot of that most often tends, for me, to be that Lisa, who didn't know Diluc but is very perceptive and, in my headcanon, rather older and more learned than Kaeya, comes back to Mondstadt to become Ordo Librarian, more-or-less befriends him (and/or ends up sharing Jean with him, which leads to the same result), learns all the information above in bits and pieces, and, in that manga scene where she's drinking tea with Diluc, is 100% contemplating whether she could get away with poisoning him. :>

(obviously her views have changed by the time of the Weinlesefest, if I'm lining this up with canon. but I have soft spots for both Lisa and Kaeya being friends and Lisa being vengefully protective and for dunking on Diluc, and sometimes I want to indulge that >> )

#kaeya is a bundle of knives behind a smile #i still need a kaeya and lisa tag fuck #the shape of teyvat #abuse tw

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toasteaa · 1 year

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hhhhhnghm...hear me out...childhood friends with the ragbros...growing up with these two boys with hearts set on adventure, wanting to go and explore the world with them. The both of them. While the three of you play, your parents meet with Diluc's father - the content of their conversations doesn't affect you now. Not immediately at least.

Seashells and pinecones the three of you collected together as children start turning into calla lilies from Kaeya and windwheel asters from Diluc; you cherish both equally and try not to show favoritism...but one bouquet gets the nicer vase. One makes your heart race a little faster. Your parents tell you of their discussions once they believe you'll be able to understand it - a marriage between the two families. You've been promised to Diluc, and when you settle with your thoughts that evening, you find yourself flustered and afraid at the same time. A decision had been made for you before you could even understand what (or more precisely, who) it was you wanted.

A confession goes unspoken the night of Crepus's death; it remains unspoken for years. You spend days with Kaeya, tending to his wounds, trying to get him to say something, anything, about what happened. You spend your nights crying over another undeliverable letter to Diluc, thoughts wandering back to the Dawn Winery standing vacant and cold beyond Mondstadt. How the three of you used to play together there, how you used to plan your journey into the neighboring Liyue, and how those plans will never come to fruition.

You don't expect Kaeya's first words after weeks of silence to be an apology, but you've come to always be surprised by his actions. Whether it's him accompanying you on an evening stroll or working alongside you silently. It stirs something in you; a cocktail of emotions, both infatuation and perhaps something deeper, that you wish you could keep bottled up and hide. But it only pushes back harder each time Kaeya's hand brushes yours, each time he manages to pull a laugh out of you, or returns from another mission unscathed.

You feel light. You feel guilty. You were promised to Diluc, not Kaeya.

And yet that guilt fades for a moment when you hear of the rumors of Diluc's return to Mondstadt. You're not allowed further than the foyer and Adelinde explains it's for the young master's privacy, but you can see the apology in her eyes. You know that she's aware of what you are - what you're supposed to be - to Diluc, but she cannot ignore what she's told. Or what she believes is best. But the rumors are confirmed and your heart hammers against your ribcage: Diluc was back. He was home.

But he's changed. When you do see him, there's no light in his eyes and his smiles (if you could call them that) are cold and closed off. But the more you return to the winery, the more you see there is something there. Something warm and familiar just beneath the icy exterior that brings heat flooding back into your cheeks. It's there in the way he says your name before changing his mind and the way he moves to reach out for you before stopping himself.

But the guilt returns. The weight of your parent's and maid's whispering of your arrangement settling heavily on your shoulders. You were promised to Diluc; raised, primmed, and prepped for a marriage to link yours with the Ragnvindr's and yet you wish Barbatos would strike you where you stood.

How could you love them both so dearly and be forced to choose one?

#toast talks #genshin impacted #this was half stream of consciousness and half fuck it we ball #Been thinking of something like this for awhile #There are also just regular Diluc arranged marriage thoughts #However Kaeya is not pleased that Diluc took up residence just as he was about to get a major update #So yeah I guess you could say this is also extremely self indulgent because I cannot choose between them #Just let me have both yeah?#I would put this in the main tags but again insanely self indulgent and idk if I could write a full fic again

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scarahours · 2 years

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"how long will it take for you to give up on me?"

- in which you ask him just how long it'll take for your autumn love to completely fall apart. P.1 [ANGST]

CHARACTERS: Diluc, Childe and Xiao (separately) x gn! reader

Being in a relationship with someone who was still grieving over the death of his late father was exhausting. Terribly so. Even now as you find your bodies intertwined, having the sweetest and most passionate night - holding on like it's the last you'll see of each other ever again, you wonder if this was a stroke of luck or the reason for your demise.

Diluc was quite literally, in all aspects - the perfect partner, both in paper and in reality. He often took you out to late night dinners whenever you had overtime, he left you little trinkets all over the house, and he even introduced you to his father as the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It was all going so well.

But when Crepus Ragnvindr had suddenly died from a heart attack, Diluc didn't take the news well. He began to neglect himself, only ever focusing on you. Who were you with? Why were you home so late? By god, what if you got into a sudden accident?!

It was another night spent shouting and throwing. A pair of strong arms wrap itself around your waist, pulling you closer to him like he was afraid he'll lose you - like you weren't just at each other's throats earlier because apparently, hanging out with your friends and getting home a tad bit late is a crime punishable by death now.

Diluc was obsessive over you and your well being - you must understand, he can't lose the only other person in his life left! Kaeya has long left him and so has Crepus. It was just you and him against this cruel, cruel world.

But it was suffocating you. HE was suffocating you. It was too much. His love isn't passionate and home anymore, it was heavy.

"How long will it take for you to just... Let me go, 'Luc? I can't do this anymore." You laugh, pretending as if you were talking to a conscious person.

He doesn't say anything. But you knew if he'd heard it, he'd call you ungrateful and selfish. And another fight breaks out, the cycle simply repeats.

But Diluc won't back down, no - he will never.

For all he wanted was your safety, don't you see?

Childe was a family oriented man, above all. He made it clear to you from the very first day that before he was your lover - he was a son and an older brother. He treasured his siblings and would often be out with them, leaving you all alone in the house with nothing to do but clean, wait for him and act like a loving spouse - which, you weren't. "Yet," he said, but you aren't so sure if you would stick around long enough.

Most of the time you felt more like a servant rather than his partner, you took up more than half of the responsibilities around the house and you barely even saw each other because he was either out working or with his siblings.

One time, however, when his youngest brother - Teucer, was in the house playing and running around while Childe left you to "bond" with him (when really it was just an excuse for him to leave and go to his work without his brother finding what he did for a living), did things start to go south. He accidentally knocked one of the only portraits you had from your childhood, a competition that you won in which both of your parents were in the frame - from more than a decade ago. It was your father's last gift to you before he accidentally got into a car crash.

Unable to control your anger - you lashed out at the young child, making him cry. You hadn't noticed that Childe was right by the door frame.

He immediately stormed over and kneeled down to console his little brother who was a crying mess, barely stuttering out an "I'm sorry," and "I'll never do it again."

Childe was fuming, but so were you.

"GET OUT." His voice was hard and stern.

"FINE THEN!" You screamed, running up the stairs and hastily grabbing your things.

From the corner of your eye you see Childe rush into the room, he pulls your arm over and asks, "Are you fucking serious [name]? Once you step out of our house it's over."

"YOUR house. Not mine. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, I'm giving up. You knew how much that portrait meant to me." You spat venom.

"For fucks sakes Teucer is just a child! He makes mistakes, and the picture isn't ruined - look! It's just the frame, stop being so immature [name] it's fixable!" Childe argues.

"I don't give a fuck if it was just the frame, this single thing held much more value to me than you'll ever do." You seethe, grabbing the picture out of his hand and pushing him away to leave.

Loving Xiao was easy, but understanding him was another thing. You thought that with time, the distance between the two of you will slowly disappear - but it never did.

No matter how much he claimed to love you, he refused to tell you anything about what was bothering him and how he felt. Communication was a foreign thing in your relationship, and you knew that continuing on like this would prove to be difficult. So you broke things off, despite loving him with your whole being.

Surprisingly, he took it quite well. No questions asked, no why's and where did it all go wrong. Perhaps he also thought that things were never gonna work out between you two. At least, you thought. The subtle change was there, it began with him slowly avoiding you to openly walking out whenever his eyes met yours. The air between the both of you had taken a nasty turn, for better for him - for worst for you.

Eventually he began meeting someone else, and his world began to light up again. You often pass by the couple enjoying their time together. Seeing Xiao look much more happier with her rather than he was with you was like a jab to your ego, what does she have that you don't? Why is she capable of making him smile that way when you can't? You want to be bitter about how easily he's given up on mending things with you - but you know it yourself that you have no right. Especially when you were the one who had broken up with him first.

Xiao was in the hands of someone better now, better than you'll ever be. So why feel envious? Why feel sour?

You crumble with regret when you realize that had you just given him time - a little more time to feel at ease with you, he would have opened up too. He would've treated you the same as he did her now - hell, possibly even better. He was always capable of change - but you just didn't trust him. Xiao didn't give up on you, you did.

Why am I dogshit with angst I'm gonna cry wtf someone send help I don't like how this turned out

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dreamerinthemoonlight · 2 months

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No Secrets, No Hiding

Summary: Diluc gets more than he bargained for while hunting fatui. Thankfully, Kaeya is close enough to help. (or: another Kaeya and Diluc reconciliation fic, lol)

CW: Violence

Word Count: 1436

A/N: Me? Write ragbros reconciliation? only all the fucking time. I've got a lot of these and I kinda wanna write more, lol

The late autumn rain drenches Mondstadt’s countryside. It’s chill cuts through Diluc’s vision-conjured warmth, ignoring his layers of fine wool, and digs its claws into his bones.

It’s as if the frozen fingers of the Tsaritsa herself are reaching down to chill Mondstadt to the core.

Really, it’s fitting, given that the only thing that would draw him out of the Winery in this weather is the hunt for her loyal fatui--more specifically, the minion of Il Dottore.

It didn’t take long after the rumored events in Sumeru--a coup and the restoration of the Dendro Archon to her green throne--for the truth to reach him. A truth that included confirmation that each and every single one of the doctor’s clones has disappeared. And with the disappearance of the clones, came a greater reliance on the rank-and-file fatui.

Just a few nights before. He had received word that some of the bastard’s new helpers would be paying a visit to Mondstadt. For materials or a new test subject, he doesn’t know, and really… he couldn’t care. The end result is going to be the same.

A thread of anger works its way through his usual calm.

An image of his father’s body, killed by a delusion developed by the Doctor, rises unbidden. It’s quickly followed by one of Kaeya’s face, the night they clashed--scared, burdened with the guilt of betrayal, but grief-stricken. He of all people should have seen how the loss of a second father had hurt him.

Crepus and Kaeya, his family torn from him because of his inadequacy. He couldn’t stop the drake and couldn’t see past his own pain. And because an amoral bastard plays with lives like a child plays with dolls.

No. Nothing save a blizzard crafted by the Tzaritsa herself would keep him from this hunt.

Diluc clenches his fist, but takes a deep breath, attempting to calm his raging heart. Entering a fight with heated emotions is a good way to end up dead.

Not long after, the scarlet-haired vigilante finds himself caught between his quarry and a pack of hilichurls with the walls of a canyon preventing an escape to either side.

Diluc springs into motion, flames coiling around his blade, turning the rain to steam.

Half of the hilichurls and a couple fatui are down before they can react.

Despite the advantage given by taking the offensive, Diluc soon finds himself ducking and dodging.

Hours of rain have chilled his body and slowed his mind, dulling his usually keen edge.

At least he has rage and duty to fuel his flame.

In the end, the difference between victory and defeat is the hours spent training, pitting himself against the now cavalry captain.

Dash. Cut. Cut. Scramble to the side. Whatever you do, don’t fall.

He falls into a familiar rhythm. Blood spatters the mud, only to be washed away by the rain.

A few minutes after the fight began, it’s over. Bodies litter the ground, but Diluc is still standing-- assuming using his claymore to keep himself from passing out and joining the corpses at his feet counts as still standing.

His hand is frozen to his claymore, thanks to the bad combination of rain and a cryo gunner and he’s covered in slices ranging from a scratch on the cheek to a gash on the thigh.

Diluc sways, his vision blurring briefly.

Another memory surfaces, this one from when he was 14 or 15.

Kaeya stands over him smirking. “Is that all you’ve got, D? Ready to give up yet?”

At the time, Diluc had bit back, laughing, before going another round.

Now Diluc only sighs. “No Kae, I’ve got more than this.”

The red-head sheaths his claymore, ripping his glove and several layers of skin in the process of returning his hand to his side.

For the first time in a long time, Diluc sends a prayer to the flighty drunk who loves his bar. Barbatos, please, just get me home.

Sometime that evening, Kaeya wanders the wilds of Mondstadt, hiding in the mist that has sprung up in the wake of the downpour.

It’s cold, certainly, but Kaeya can’t remember the last time the cold was truly uncomfortable.

Kaeya pauses somewhere near the cliff south of Windrise.

Something--a sound muffled by fog, maybe, or the tangy scent of blood, too faint to be confirmed--raises the hair on his arms.

His hand drifts to the hilt of his sword. “Who’s there?”

A dark shape stumbles out of the fog.

By the time that Kaeya realizes that the pale, rain-and-blood soaked figure is Diluc, he’s holding the red-head up.

“What the fuck, D? What is Barbato’s name happened?””

Diluc groans. “Hunting fatui. Went south.”

“What archon--You know, I don’t care right now. Just hold on to me.”

Pale white light bursts forth from Kaeya’s vision and a flawless ice-sculpture, a peacock like the stars that guide his fate, manifests itself.

“Go find help. Jean or Barbara. Bring them to the tree at Windrise.”

The bird flies off and Kaeya hauls Diluc onto his back, wincing at the sticky combination of blood and rain on his back. He wonders, for a moment, how Diluc managed to get to him at all.

“Damn, D,” he says,the fleeting memory of him carrying a 11 year old Diluc after he broke his leg climbing a tree crossing his mind, “you weren’t this heavy when you were a kid.”

“Not much has changed, has it,” he huffs a bitter laugh as he makes his way towards Vanessa’s tree. “Except that you hate me almost as much as you hate fatui.”

“Don’t….hate you.”

Diluc’s voice is sluggish, but the words are clear.

“Since when? You can’t wait to get rid of me any time I--- Shit. We’re not talking about this right now. I’m getting you to Jean. You’re going to survive, and then we’re going to talk. No swords, not visions. Just talk.”

“Not going to---”

“No.” The mist around the pair freezes solid. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“Stubborn pain…”

“As if you’re any better.”

Kaeya trips the last few steps to the tree. He props Diluc against the trunk before sitting beside him.

“Just don’t leave me, Diluc. You’re all I’ve got left.”

If Diluc hears him, he doesn’t answer.

“It’s about time you figured it out,” a gentle voice says.

The wind rises, laced with fragrant dandelion seeds, and the clouds clear away to reveal a magnificent sunset.

Venti sets himself down in front of them, lyre hanging loosely in one land.

“I thought something was odd about you. Where’s Jean?”

“She wasn’t going to make it in time. So I came.”

“Lord Barbatos, can you heal him?”

“I wouldn’t have come otherwise. It’s not his time yet.”

“Please….”

Barbatos touches his lyre strings and the breeze intensifies, carrying with it the song of the Thousand Winds.

The worst of Diluc’s wounds close, leaving faint scars in their place and color returns to the red-heads skin.

“There. The only thing he’s in danger of now is a head cold. Watch his back, Kaeya. He does too much alone.”

“I will---I would have-- if he’d let me.”

“I know. I think he’ll let you now.”

The archon vanishes, taking the clear skies and sweet smelling winds with him.

Kaeya leans back and pulls Diluc to him, intent on at least preventing hypothermia while they wait. He closes his eyes, intending on just resting a little.

When Jean and Barbara finally arrive, both men are fast asleep.

When Diluc wakes up, he’s warm. Warm, dry, and without pain. Though the inability to breathe through his nose is… not what he expected.

“You’re awake.”

A familiar voice jars him out of his sleepy haze.

Diluc opens his eyes to find Kaeya sitting in a chair across the room. “Kae?”

More interesting than the stuffy nose, more interesting than the fact that he’s alive to have a stuffy nose, more interesting than the cavalry captain watching over him as he sleeps, is Kaeya’s eyepatch--or lack thereof.

Two star-pupiled eyes, one scarred, the other familiar and smooth, watch him.

“Eyepatch?”

Kaeya raises a hand to show Diluc the accessory. “You knew I didn't need it. The bard gave us an extra chance, so no more secrets. No more hiding.”

What Diluc finds in Kaeya’s gaze is something they had never had. True understanding, brutal honesty. He finds in the Khaenri’an eyes something he had refused to acknowledge and might have died never facing it: the love of his brother.

So he nods and sneezes, drawing a brief chuckle out of the other man. “Alright, Kae. No more secrets. No more hiding.”

#me? put characters in near death situations so they can make up? neeever #I mean #it might take that much to get those to idiots to talk to each other properly #kaeya alberich #kaeya fic #kaeya writing #diluc ragnvindr #diluc fic #diluc writing #diluc and kaeya reconcile #genshin imapct #genshin writing #genshin fic

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dumbcoffeebee · 1 year

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drops hcs and runs

Diluc-

Ice burn scars on chest & forearms from the fight when Kae got his vision

Lots of scars. Lots. Blades, bludgeoning dmg, various elements from the Fatui hunt or otherwise

Slight permanent tinge of blue/purple at fingertips from being unacclimated to the Snezhnayan weather the first few months of the Fatui hunt (no pyro vision during that time)

More red to his hair, bit of an orange tinge to the ends (make it look more like fire, basically)

By extension he gets grey hairs every once in a while and nobody really comments on them bc yk its Diluc mans is stressed all the time but he dyes them out/plucks them every time he notices them bc it reminds him of his dad when he started using his delusion too much & it makes him sad :(

Thick eyelashes— not super long but really thick

Freckles!! Lots of them!! Resident pretty boy fr

Calloused hands from claymore

Fire burn scars from not knowing how to infuse weapon w/ fire at first

Hawk talon scars on forearm

TAN. TAN. GIVE THIS MAN A TAN. I BEG.

Has the second of Kae’s earrings hanging next to his vision on his belt (sobbing)

Bro used to have sharp teeth but he grinds tf outta them so he should wear a grind plate thing but he doesn’t bc he’s stubborn

Every time he goes like a madlad, which is all the time but yk, he just,, forgets to shave & so it’s not uncommon to see him with like a family of six worth’s of luggage under his eyes & red stubble (little bit of grey in there?)

Oh my god this man’s eye bags. It’s so hot but oh my god the dark circles too?? Holy shit

Used to wear black pencil liner on his waterline (jk he still does esp when he’s doin the whole darknight hero thing OH MY GOD HE TAKES THE MASK OFF AND HE.. OH MY GOD DRAW THAT DRAW THAT NOW JESUS SHIT)

As much as he runs himself ragged he actually has really high personal maintenance esp hygiene-wise like bfr he’s the no.1 most sought after bachelor in Mondstadt for a reason (and it’s not just bc of his money) & that’s also just bc he was raised by Crepus who I feel like believed that no matter who you were or where you came from, everyone is deserving of respect regardless of anything & first impressions are highly important for people like them (direct descendants of the Ragnvindr clan)

So then Diluc has like an eight step skincare routine that he speedruns & I feel like he takes care of his nails really well for some reason??

Circular reddish scarring on left hand from repeated delusion use, both in Snezhnaya & out of it— it looks like a matrix-style computer virus but in his veins

Kaeya

Lets start w/ the obvious. He says there's nothing wrong with his right eye but I beg to differ there’s a long vertical scar in the middle of his eyelid from Diluc’s weapon grazing it in their fight.

As a result its not that sensitive since it was years ago, almost a decade from my math

One eye is blue like we see yes but i hc that the other is like yellow with the star pupil bc mm khaenriah

Once again freckles

Long ass fingers

Ice burn scars on chest from receiving vision & the shield it created, blasting Diluc away from being able to go in for the strike to his chest he was planning.

Constantly cold. Not really appearance but just general temp he’s always cold

Blisters/callouses on fingertips- partly from the ice, partly from training so vigorously with Diluc in swordsmanship.

Very small star tattoo from Khaenriah on inner left forearm like- the crook of it

Dark blue hair like it’s sapphire dark Albedo describes it as flowing jewels with a streak of starlight through it (the lighter streak in his bangs)

Much darker complexion than is shown in game like i hc that he’s half Khaenriahn (well, all Khaenriahn but yk) and half Sumerian on his mother’s side

Lots of scars like his brother. Not to Diluc’s magnitude, but still a lot nonetheless.

Lots of little scars from different elements w/ close calls from abyss mages, ruin guards, etc.

Yet another thing he picked up from Diluc as a child, has a really good hair care routine

Consistently dry skin & eyes from the ice n shit

Muscle spasms & slight numbness in hands from the cold

His smile is the same as it was when he was a kid— when it’s real, that is

Little bit of a tooth gap in his front middle teeth

There’s a theory bopping around that the Alberich clan messed with Kae’s eye, being able to see through it & considering the symbolism with Khaenriah and eyes it makes a lot of sense, as well as his turning his back on his clan and nation in favor of Mondstadt would make the eyepatch much more of a useful thing beyond appearances, refusing to let whatever higher Abyssal powers get intel on Mondstadt by his doing.

Traveler Lumine-

Constantly getting new scars & bruises (she has a knack for worrying Paimon)

Lets her hair grow out- it reminds her of Aether. (she ends up cutting it short again save for her bangs in an episode, and she says it’s better for fighting that way anyway.)

Lightning scars from anti-raiden shogun training (she still slightly distrusts Yae Miko for that), as well as getting struck down constantly in Inazuma- they’re all over her spine, shoulder blades, neck, hands, legs, everything. She jumps every time lightning cracks in a storm, whipping around as if to lunge at the next thing that moves

Various elemental-caused scarring from mastering different elements- that’s why she prefers Anemo, it does the least long-term damage to her body and it’s easiest for her to control because she’s had it the longest

Oh my god her hands are filled with callouses, they’re so rough yet her touch is so soft girlie is pretty <33

Her hair is consistently knotty and dirty- what can I say, the girl doesn’t get to thoroughly shower much, especially before getting the teapot

Literally every item of clothing she owns is stained. Noelle is her saviour every time she comes back to Mondstadt for insisting on getting the stains out and patching her clothes up for her/redoing Lumi’s shoddy patch jobs— sewing was always Aether’s thing.

This isn’t new for me but she and Aether have matching earrings— his is still black in the Abyss but he never takes it out, the only time he tried he got a gut punch of regret and feeling like he was viscerally betraying some unspoken binding law, and Lumi has never even tried taking it out, always cherishing how it connects her to her brother no matter where he is, changing colors with each nation closer she gets to finding him and bringing him home to her.

May the Seven help the monster that rips it out as she’s fighting. You think you’ve seen Lumine seething with unbridled rage until you saw what happened to every monster in a 700 m radius of her that night. It makes her grinding teeth and piercing stares that could kill look like child’s play in comparison. Tears rivered down her cheeks and sobs wracked her body as she staggered towards the nearest teleport waypoint, seeking out the one statue she finds the most comfort in. Under the tree of Windrise, she places the earring back into the slit where it once hung as Barbatos’s statue seals her wounds and encloses her earring back into place, housing her safely for the night high in the tree, the wind god watching over his warrior.

She handles her injuries well, both physical and mental. It’s only in the teapot, secluded in her room with Paimon and a German shepard from Mondstadt as her only comfort, that she lets her cries rock her to sleep.

Although a nuisance while swimming, she’s always thankful for the white and grey armor she had gotten custom-made after her initiation as honorary knight at the start of her travels.

Every region she’s traveled through, she’s made sure to acquire a signature accessory, displaying them on her dresser in the teapot and wearing them when she misses those in other nations.

Makes it a habit that every first new flower she picks up gets pressed in her adventure journal. Her favorite has always been the windwheel asters.

Lumine is always the one to protect Paimon, so the first time her floating companion throws herself in between her and the enemy, she makes a vow to herself to never let harm come to the best travel guide in all of Teyvat, even if it costs her everything.

Lumi is often off put by quiet things, preferring to let every noise filter through her. As a result, she ends up seeming very aloof and reserved, but she’s really just studying everything she can get her eyes on. She often forgets to even speak, despite being active in conversations with others mentally, and the link between her and Paimon forged after their many travels has allowed for Paimon to be able to speak up for Lumine in most situations, with well-enough accuracy. Paimon uses this to great degree when she can sense Lumine becoming overwhelmed and nonverbal, subbing in for her, as well as for phrases and words Lumine had not yet learnt in the common language of Teyvat at the start of her adventures. While the language barrier is much less of a problem now, Paimon still often speaks up for Lumine when the ladder starts feeling overwhelmed and anxious, something she greatly appreciates.

When Lumine finds it difficult to sleep, she often ends up taking walks around wherever she’s staying, most often the teapot or whatever hotel she can find. She finds the moon and stars calming, knowing every time she lays eyes on Celestia that she and Aether will one day return to those gates and conquer the one who had separated them 500 years ago. She finds comfort in knowing she and her brother can and will be reunited.

Despite “The Traveler” being a well-known enigma across Teyvat, most end up not being able to recognize her on the streets until she eventually ends up saving their country. She wonders what it would be like to be able to live in anonymity for eternity, not having to put everything on the line in trade for simple recognition?

Despite the familiarity of her armor and dress, she often wonders what the fashion of different nations would be like to wear. That is, until she sees the price tag, resolving to save her Mora for better equipment instead.

God I have so many brain melt heartache traveler ideas

Lumine is always gentle with animals out of compassion, but it never occurs to people why she is so ruthlessly efficient with what she dismantles or kills— ever since the incident with Dain in the Chasm, she has vowed to make whatever suffering of Abyss creatures brief, viewing her extermination of camps as early releases from the curse of the Abyss. She couldn’t handle thinking about it any other way. She couldn’t let herself view them as anything more than things to be put out of their misery after learning the truth of their existence.

#genshin #genshin hcs #genshin impact #kaeya #kaeya genshin impact #kaeya headcanons #diluc #diluc genshin impact #diluc headcanons #traveler #genshin traveler #genshin impact traveler #lumine #lumine genshin impact #traveler lumine #rambles #beelikesgenshin #Bee stfu #long post

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versadies · 1 year

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN \\ EVERMORE (VERSADIES'S VERSION)

SYPNOSIS (of chapter). in which a certain ragnvindr's fate and complications in his life have all led up to a certain you.

CHARACTERS. kamisato ayato, diluc ragnvindr, thoma (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. angst/comfort, grammar errors (?), mentions of violence, sh1nsuke, minor character death, car accident, mentions of threats, spoilers to diluc's canon backstory, terribly written crime case, diluc and kaeya are in good terms

WORD COUNT. 13.7k words

LINKS. EVERMORE MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST \ EVERMORE SURVEY

POST-SCRIPT. thanks to your answers in my recent survey that i posted, i decided to put my taglist at the very bottom of the chapter (as well as my other fics from now on) so you could have an easier time reading <333 i hope this version doesn’t disappoint you :DDDD

PREVIOUS || NEXT || ORIGINAL VERSION

A few things Diluc had lost were the bright hopes and future he once had when he was but a teen who's ready to fulfill as many achievements and dreams as he can.

He remembers his past too much. A price to pay for dwelling too much in the past.

That Diluc is long gone. All that remains is his shell that’s swallowed by guilt, pain, and helplessness.

He lives to deal with the burdens that he gained from his birthday. A special, cruel gift from fate.

Wine.. reminds him too much of what happened.

If only it weren’t for that treacherous car accident…

If only that drunk driver didn’t drink at all with a darn wine.

Then before he knew it, everything was turned upside down. Literally.

He has a hard time breathing, his vision is blurry as he feels lightheaded from being upside down.

Father…

“Fa…Father…” He calls out. Everything aches so bad, what just happened to him?

Once Diluc finally sees more, he realizes the car he’s in is upside down. Is this… a car accident?

The young heir looks ahead when he hears a groan, and his eyes widens at the sight of his father being in the same situation as him – except, his state is way worse than his.

As for the driver… He doesn’t know where on Earth he is.

“Di..luc? Is that you my.. Son?” Crepus asks weakly, letting out a cough as he falls down from his seat. “I’m glad you’re,” He lets out another cough, “alright…”

When Diluc finally looks at where his father is, his eyes are full of hope that they’re going to be okay.

“Father, help is on their way. We’re going to be okay” He says, hoping his father will be alright and be proud of him for what he has done.

Crepus remains silent.

“...Father?” He quietly calls, his heart sinking when he notices how his father’s chest is stilled. “Father, are you… a-alive?”

Diluc slowly leaned down with his ear on top of his father’s chest, his eyes widening in fear when he couldn’t hear any heartbeat at all, as though he’s….

No, let’s not jump into conclusions.. He’s probably asleep..

The heir gently shakes his father in hopes it’d wake him up, only for his shoulders to sink when his father is still motionless. “Father…?”

It took the ambulance to arrive for Diluc to stop trying to wake up his father, the paramedics carried him away as another inspected the young heir’s body for any injuries to take care of.

The light in Diluc’s eyes fades away when he realizes what just happened.

Why did this happen?

He looks down at his bandaged-hands, only for him to remember seeing his father’s blood on his hands.

Why not me?

He suddenly hears a knock, to be followed by someone entering the room.

“And here I thought you’d never wake up.” Kaeya spoke as he closed the door behind him, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. “How are you?”

Diluc stays silent, still staring at his hands.

“...Why am I still alive?”

The red head didn’t bother to look at his sworn brother, who was extremely taken back by his question.

“...Why shouldn’t you be?” Kaeya responds, his tone is more serious. “What happened last night is out of your control–”

“I could’ve done something.” He interrupts, he now looks at the blue-haired man with an unfamiliar expression that wasn’t seen before from the usual brightful man.

It’s as if said brightful man has died with his father.

Diluc clenches his fists at the memory of the car accident. If only he watched his father more carefully, if only he insisted that they went to another place, if only–

If only he was the one who died instead of his father.

He doesn’t even know if he’s ready to become the next head of the Ragnvindr family.

“He isn’t here and he’ll never be.” He snaps. “I can’t just move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase me. I lost someone special to me.”

“He’s someone special to me too.” Kaeya retorts. “You’re not alone, Diluc. You have me, Adelaide, Elzer, and everyone else in the mansion who are willing to help you and be there for you. I’m not saying you should move on and act as if his death doesn’t phase you, but you should stop thinking of what could’ve been and think of what could be now.”