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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 1 year

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Well. I guess today is the day I post this.

Putting this all below a cut to spare your dashes.

This statement will seem dramatic. I apologize. I don't know any other way to put this.

For a long time, I've felt unsafe in this fandom as a bisexual person.

At some point we got a new wave of people in this fandom (I can't pinpoint when since I never know anything that goes on in this godforsaken cesspit), and we started to get a growing wave of people talking about Eddie as a gay man, rather than bisexual or queer or ambiguous/unlabeled in his sexuality.

It was something I could easily ignore at first. I didn't agree with it, but I rolled my eyes and kept on keepin' on. It didn't really affect me. I had my own little corner and that was that.

But as time has gone on, it's become so popular and pervasive that every time I turn around, I'm running into it. It seems to be (but might not be, I could be wrong) the more popular interpretation of Eddie.

For example, I got an ask at the beginning of February, asking me what was wrong with gay Eddie, since it seems to be the "general consensus." Additionally, there was a podcast episode an anthropology student made where the host said that they have also seen people have generally decided Eddie is gay, not bi or queer. I'm not the only one who's noticed this and decided this is the general/most popular opinion of the fandom.

And I'm here to say that it's unbelievably hurtful.

It's not a new thing for people to dismiss Shannon. And let me tell you, it brings me no joy to defend her. I deeply, deeply dislike her and always have. But I must, because whether I like her or not doesn't matter as much as her importance to Eddie and her role in his life. Not just as Christopher's mother, but as his first love and as his wife.

However, over the past year or so there's been a serious shift within the fandom to ignore or gloss over Shannon, and to paint Eddie as a gay man who has always been gay, and never been attracted to women, and never wanted to sleep with one. Even though, canonically, he and Shannon jumped right back into bed together and wouldn't stop fucking every time they met up, despite that choice being detrimental to their relationship and preventing them from discussing important things.

Eddie was so busy fucking his wife like a rabbit in springtime that he couldn't settle down and talk with her. He fucked her repeatedly even though he didn't fully trust her with their son anymore. If that's not thinking with your dick I don't know what is.

Eddie's grief over Shannon's loss and his complicated feelings about her (his love for her vs his anger at her choices vs his own poor self-esteem) haunted him throughout season three. It's why he joined the fight club. It haunts him in season four, when he chooses to date Ana to give Chris a substitute mother even though he is not yet ready to date/move on from Shannon.

Even if I put on my Buddie shipper goggles and say, "what about Buck?" I do not think it makes any sense whatsoever for Eddie to be aware of his feelings for Buck pre-shooting. I think that is the moment he realizes what his heart wants and where he's chosen to love again. Not before.

Bobby moving on with Athena does in no way erase his love for his previous wife, and he went through a process similar to Eddie - in fact that similarity is part of why Bobby sees so much of himself in Eddie and why he tries to give Eddie advice on the subject. But I have to wonder, if Bobby had dated Michael instead of Athena, if the fandom would react the same way they do with Eddie - if they would claim Bobby was gay the whole time, and never truly felt sexual attraction for his wife.

I know Shannon is a disliked character by and large (I'm one of the people who dislikes her) and that her relationship with Eddie was complicated. Eddie wasn't always happy in his relationship with her. But neither was Athena, and yet the fact she was once attracted to and in love with Michael is never questioned.

Eddie is simply not allowed nuance in his relationship with Shannon. He is not allowed (as Bobby and Athena are) to have a complicated relationship with his spouse or to move on with another character while not denying his previous attraction to her. Eddie's relationship with Shannon is reduced to something he did because he had to, without any genuine sexual attraction, and without any sexual enjoyment. He is allowed to love her, but to never have been in love with her.

Eddie's biggest arc and piece of character development for two whole seasons (seasons two and three, arguably parts of season four) are erased.

The underlying message, whether intended or not, is that they are erased because they do not matter. And they do not matter because if they did, Eddie would be bi, or queer, or anything except 100% homosexual. And that means that the underlying message is that being gay is more important, more valid, and better than bisexuality.

I'm not saying this message is intentional. Frankly I don't think it is. I'm saying it is there.

And of course, when others have pointed out that this is hurtful and erases a big part of Eddie's history, and that therefore makes them feel ignored and erased as a bisexual person, there's been hostility. Some of it's been openly hostile and frankly feels like fighting for the sake of fighting, the kind of self-righteous love of blood in the water that has kept me a lurker in fandoms for so long.

The more insidious hurt, for me, is the people who refuse to publicly support people who call out the biphobia. They say nothing when people talk about how they're attacked for pointing out the issues with gay!Eddie, or they support both gay!Eddie and bi!Eddie sides, depending on the time of day and who's saying it. It makes me distrusting of a lot of people who try to tell me they support me. How can I believe you when you turn around and agree with the people saying Eddie's gay? Reblogging posts and championing it?

At best it feels like being accidentally hurtful while supporting/being open to multiple headcanons. At worst it feels like lying to placate me.

I don't appreciate being placated.

Fandom can give a skewed perspective on things such as representation in media. I understand that many people who identify as 6 on the Kinsey Scale have struggled deeply with repression, self-loathing, ignorance, and compulsive heterosexuality. I understand wanting that representation, especially in an older character when it feels like a lot of our media is still about queer teenagers rather than queer adults (especially queer adults over the age of thirty). And so with many slash ships having to deal with the existence of opposite-sex love interests in the characters comprising that ship, bisexuality can feel like the norm when in reality, characters who are gay (whether they always knew it or discover it later) are still much more prevalent than bisexual characters in media.

For example, in Our Flag Means Death we have Stede. In IT, Richie is inferred to be gay rather than bi (god forbid they confirm Eddie K's gayness but that's another matter...) In fact, in 9-1-1 alone, we have Michael. There's also the matter of who gets to be gay and who gets to be bi. In Glee, for example, Santana is the one who gets the nuanced coming-out story with drama and depth. Brittany, her bisexual girlfriend, doesn't get nearly as much attention or thought, and off-screen cheats on Santana in a staggering moment of biphobia (a decision the likes of which Ryan Murphy is not-so-affectionately known for).

Yet from people who headcanon Eddie as gay I repeatedly see the rallying cry of "letting us have this," as if 'this' is something they never get, or get less than bisexual people. Again, I understand the way fandom might skew things. But we cannot allow the broken goggles of fandom to, in turn, blinker our reality of the media landscape. Bisexuality is still less represented, and the wounds of "oh being with X man is nothing like all those women I was with, this is special and real" are still fresh (looking at you, Destiel shippers circa 2009-2012).

In fact as I out myself here as uh one of those veterans, I implore people to understand how this was the norm for so, so many years. Fandom has a short memory, I get it. It's hard to keep track of everything. But this embrace of bisexuality is rather recent. You look around and you see, for example, people happily joking about Dean Winchester's bisexuality. That was not always the case. For a long time, it was about perpetuating biphobia and casual misogyny as shippers wrote meta and fic about how no woman could ever make him feel like Cas does.

*pause for war flashbacks*

This was not the only instance or fandom. But I don't have time to name all the examples. My point is that there is a false collective narrative. My point is that when you are hurt, and have struggled, it can be hard to see that others have also been hurt and have also struggled. My point is that there is a continued instinct to put a certain type of character in one box and another type of character in a different box, and to try and expand the boxes, or move one character to another, is treated as a personal attack rather than an expansion of our understanding and a dismantling of our stereotypes.

Why is it always the character who has a lot of sex and/or is super comfortable on the subject of sex, or is very casual about sex, who gets to be bi/pan/fluid in sexuality? Why are bi people never allowed to be reserved, or have only one or two partners in their life?

Why is the character who is casual (or seems like they will be casual) and relaxed about sexuality the one who is labeled bisexual? Why are bisexuals never allowed to have angst around their sexuality or come out later in life? Why is our pain, our internal struggle, never allowed to be discussed?

I'm not saying Buck should be viewed as gay. I think it's correct to talk about him as bi/pan/queer. But I do think it's fair to examine why Buck's relationship with Abby is viewed in its proper important context while Eddie's relationship with Shannon is diminished and ignored.

Buck gets to talk about Abby. He gets to have genuinely been in love with her. He gets to retain that piece of his character. Eddie does not. Eddie's relationship with Shannon ended up hurting him just as much as Buck's relationship with Abby, in fact even more so, and yet people handwave that away as compulsive heterosexuality (which is not restricted to gay people, by the way, bi people experience that as well) and act like he didn't actually fall in love with her and have repeated enthusiastic sex with her.

People love to tout Ana as proof that Eddie is gay, but it doesn't matter what your sexuality is - if you aren't attracted to someone and you don't want them touching you, then you don't want them touching you. If you don't want to have sex with someone, you don't want to have sex with someone. Your sexuality doesn't matter. Just because a man is straight doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all women. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all men. Just because a person is bi doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone on the planet. And just because someone is asexual doesn't mean they have no libido or would never have sex at all for another reason (intimacy, fun, etc.). Sexual desire and drive are a very personal things, and both romantic and sexual attraction can play various roles or no role at all depending on the individual.

Eddie’s refusal to sleep with Ana or touch her is not a sign of him being gay as opposed to bi or queer or any other sexuality. It’s not a sign of any sexuality at all. It’s a sign that he was forcing himself into that relationship. He didn't want to be with Ana. He didn't love Ana. He didn't want to have sex with Ana.

Now, do I think how he broke up with her - his words about "the idea of us" - is insanely queer? Yes. Yes I do. And yes, for the record, I think that was deliberate on the part of the writers. But that simply says to me that he's queer. Not gay, not bi, not pan, not demi, not anything other than not straight.

To take that speech and those words and to say they could only possibly apply to a fully 100% gay man as opposed to anyone under the queer umbrella is hurtful. People's experiences as gay people are valid, and often, sadly, painful and just like Eddie's. But so are people's experiences as bi people, as pan people, as unlabeled people, as 'queer as in fuck you' people.

To wit: People ignore canonical evidence about Shannon, and claim canonical evidence about Ana as their own and no one else's, in order to support their interpretation of Eddie's sexuality.

That erases the rest of us.

I know that's hard to hear. I know that sounds like it comes with judgment. You are trying to speak your own truth, and you are identifying strongly with a character that you love, and it's hard to then hear that in doing those things, you are hurting or erasing others. I've had to hear that in my time, and I'm sure I'll have to hear it again, and it's never easy. But we must sit with this discomfort as our friend, not our foe, and use it to grow.

However, since fandom is our safe space, we often view anything and everything as a personal attack, and we often make judgments and interpretations based too strongly on our own experiences. Sometimes this is a good thing - I think the number of people who say Buck reminds them of their own ADHD are correct and that it adds great depth to his character. I'm glad Oliver has embraced it. I think the people who say Eddie speaks to their own demisexuality have a great point and I think it adds nuance to his character and behavior.

(In fact I also love trans!Buck headcanons! I think they're neat and I've read some fics I enjoyed that featured that.)

On the other hand, however, it often leads to people adding interpretations onto things that do not reflect canon or the actual character. They then view others pointing out the lack of support for this in canon, or the contradiction with canon, as a personal attack (looking at you, "Chim is abusive" people, go jump in a lake). It's hard to take that breath and recognize that not everything a character is or does or experiences is the same as what you are, or do, or have experienced. Especially when it touches on something as personal and important as our sexuality.

Because of this, I debated a long time on whether I should say something. I tried to identify the difference between what hurt me because it didn't line up with my thoughts and what hurt me because of actual stereotyping. I worked to make sure that this was more than simply taking an innocuous difference of opinion and twisting it into a personal attack.

Which brings me to why I say the word 'unsafe'. That seems like an extreme word. But I've seen people say that they "got a brain" and realized Eddie was gay, not bi. I've seen people take gifsets that mention Eddie being bi and tag them 'okay but I believe in gay!Eddie' or 'I'm a gay!Eddie truther'. I've seen people go out of their way in fics to mention Eddie disliking/being grossed out by female genitalia. I've seen fanartists put Eddie in gay colors/flags as opposed to bi/demi/etc colors/flags, on art that really didn't need it to convey the story - as if one cannot make a piece of art with Eddie on it without declaring one's opinion on his sexuality.

(Yes, I think there's a strong possibility that Eddie is demisexual. I wish people would embrace that idea more. Personally, I think he wouldn't label himself at all and simply say he was queer if asked. But given the discussion we're having right now on this post about gay/bi headcanons, I think it's clear a lot of people actually aren't as ready to embrace or consider minority sexualities as they might like to think.)

I repeat: this is not just happening on a person's own art or post or fanfic. People are reblogging posts, gifsets, and so on that mention bisexual Eddie and saying, okay but I see him as gay. They are not content to live and let live. They are actively saying they disagree. If you disagree, then why reblog the thing that talks about/mentions Eddie as bi? Why not simply leave it be?

I cannot overstate how hurtful this is; how much it feels like erasure, dismissal, and condescension.

You cannot tell me if that was something you saw about your gender, or sexuality, or so on, that you wouldn't begin to feel unsafe. That you wouldn't begin to question if you would be unheard, or dismissed, or viewed as less-than. Tell me you wouldn't start to wonder, if you were a character on a TV show, if people wouldn't erase your sexual and romantic history and ignore a big piece of yourself because certain sexualities just weren't good enough for them.

You cannot tell me that in seeing these things you wouldn't walk away with the idea that bisexuality (or other sexualities in general but bisexuality is the one brought up and to which being gay is compared in regards to Eddie) is viewed as lesser to these people, and to the community at large. You cannot tell me that some people are not internalizing this narrative, no matter what their own sexuality might be.

And, yes, reading that earlier paragraph you might say, "Mads, are you vagueing?" That is not my intention. I want to head off at the pass the rebuttal that this isn't happening. I want to cut off the demand for examples. However, I'm also not going to name names, because I don't wish to cause harm to people who I think, by and large, are well-meaning.

That's what I'm hoping is true, in writing this. That most of the people reading this, and pushing the Eddie-is-gay narrative, are well-meaning. "I'm bi myself!" many of you will say.

Yes, well. I'm a woman and I was perfectly capable of a lot of misogynistic thinking growing up, and I often fell into sexist stereotypes in my headcanons and writing and so on.

But I hope, since most of you are well-meaning, this post will instead cause you to think, and examine, and ponder.

I'm sure many people reading this are rolling their eyes and thinking, "what about the first rule of fandom? Ship and let ship? Kink tomato? Etc? Let people have different headcanons." I've certainly seen such flippant remarks from people before on this very subject in this fandom.

And the thing is, I have really tried to do that. I have tried to take it that way. But I think that it's also entirely fair for me to be hurt when a person's headcanon/interpretation ignores canon and erases a big part of a character's life and history.

I know, I know, we could get into a big philosophical discussion about how slash and femslash shipping by nature does something along those lines. But I feel that in the now-common interpretation of Eddie as gay, there is a pushing of stereotypes about both gay and bisexual people. There is a splitting of hairs on queerness. There is a subtext, whether acknowledged or not by those who push this interpretation, that being gay as opposed to a more fluid sexuality is more painful, more fraught, more challenging. That bisexuality, pansexuality, queerness as an umbrella term - those are less fraught and inherently easier. It's one of the pillars upon which exclusion in the queer community is based.

It also, generally, ignores the idea that one's sexuality can change over time. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe most people with the interpretation of Eddie as gay actually view him as being gay now and that's how he identifies now without erasing his canonical (and important) sexual and romantic attraction to Shannon. But that doesn't seem to be the case, and I certainly don't want to risk myself emotionally by trying to find out.

Not to mention that hey, when people are saying something is hurtful to them, seeing people make posts hand-waving and saying "get over yourselves, relax, take a chill pill" feels beyond condescending and dismissive.

I'd like to make it clear, I'm not asking for people to never write Eddie as gay, and that we should never see Eddie as gay again in this fandom, or that anyone who writes Eddie as gay should be dogpiled. I'm not the boss of anyone, I'm not the fandom police, I don't make the rules. But I think, when a certain behavior brings people pain - and more people than just myself, as I have learned in many private conversations - there comes a time when the least one can do is speak up about it.

Sometimes someone needs to be the one to stand up and say, "this hurts me. I am in pain, and this is why."

Again, especially when people are going out of their way to say "but I disagree, he's gay" on posts, gifsets, and so on mentioning Eddie having a different sexuality. You might feel this post is unnecessary. You might feel it's preachy. You might feel I should shut up and get off my high horse.

But the fact of the matter is when you come into someone's house tracking mud and they tell you to clean it up, you don't get to yell at them and claim they are trying to stop you from playing outside.

I kept my silence on this for a long time and part of that was I didn't want to police anyone. Now, however, we are at a point where people who think Eddie is gay are invading other people's spaces. It's not just that this headcanon is everywhere. It's not just that people are using such dismissive language when the possibility of Eddie liking women comes up. It is also that people are going out of their way to dismiss Eddie's bisexuality and argue that their interpretation is better on posts about Eddie being bi.

So frankly, I don't think anyone gets to walk away from this scoffing "don't like don't read" at me when nobody else around here is offering me that courtesy. If I could avoid reading it, I would. You came into my house, and the house of everyone else who makes a post, a fic, a gif, about Eddie being anything except a Kinsey 6.

Yes, reblogs are turned off for this. Anon is also turned off. You might say that's cutting off discussion, and you would be right. The blunt truth is I don't trust people online to respond with thoughtfulness, good faith, and care. I don't trust people to take their time and think before shooting off an emotional, defensive response. And I don't care to spend my time and energy educating people.

Maybe if I was a better person - a more social, more patient, and less private person - I would be the kind of person who would have the long hard discussions to educate and share my thoughts, to help you see my side. But that's not who I am, and I certainly don't owe it to anyone, not a single person here, to scrounge up my nonexistent trust and goodwill to have that discussion with you.

I've said my piece on this. I'm sure my tone seems harsh. The tone with which this is actually written is weariness, exhaustion, and, yes, nausea. It makes one sick and wears one down, to feel so on edge in a space and yet to try and ignore that to find joy anyway. Because I get a lot of joy in sharing my fics, and reblogging gifsets and meta, and I don't want to lose that joy.

But I suppose it needs to be said. I know others have said it, but I hope that I have said all this with enough calm and articulation that it will truly be understood, and it will not start drama or discourse, because that's not what I want. Truly. I spent enough of 2020 being dragged into one piece of bullshit drama after another. I'm not interested in wading back into that. I've kept pretty extreme radio silence for a reason.

My hope is simply for people to step back and take a long hard look at why they've decided one half of our ship is gay, and one half is bi, and what that might say about their subconscious stereotypes about gay and bi people.

If I've gotten you to do that, then this post is worth it.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers. I'm sure this would be a lot easier for people to read if I ended it with "and here's what to do moving forward." I think the desire to provide answers - for themselves and for others - is what drives people to make posts that condemn, or get aggressive, or seem to simply be out there to shut people up. People want to have a solution. They want the problem to go away.

I don't have a solution. I don't have answers for anyone. I truly wish I did. Part of why I've waited so long in posting this is trying to come up with a way to end this that would give people actionable steps. But at the end of the day, all I can really say is that I hope the people reading this will do some internal searching, and thoughtful discussion, and understand better the subconscious choices we make, the biases we hold, and how we can hurt people without meaning to.

I don't want apologies. I say that with love - I'm not looking for people to self-flagellate before me or make some kind of mea culpa post. I don't think that would help anything, and I don't think anyone owes that to me. Frankly I'm not interested in public discussion, and if there are posts others make about this, I don't want to see them.

You can make posts on your blog ranting about me (just please don't tag me, again, I don't want to see it). You can discuss this in your discord groups. You can vagueblog about me and chat about me in DMs. I don't care. I'd just like people to hear me say, "I am hurt, and you are hurting me, and I know it's not intentional, but this is why." Anything else is up to you. Any changes, in thought or behavior, are up to you. Probably nothing will change. But at least I've said something, and I've tried.

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you have a great day. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

#I am so sorry this turned into such a manifesto #I tried to keep it succinct while also covering every possible base #to avoid misinterpretation or unkindness #but I suppose at the end of the day I am a long-winded person #who tends to over-explain everything #hopefully that over-explaining has cut down on bad faith assumptions #but with this fandom who knows #I'll probably be off tumblr for a bit because my anxiety is through the roof posting this #mads rants

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raayllum · 10 months

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One of the tricky things about speculating from a thematic and symbolic basis is that it gives you a very good gist of what the pieces are and what to derive from, but of course is harder to predict when - and sometimes precisely what - is going to happen.

For example: Callum has always been a character who has a tendency to get stuck in his head, hence why 2x08 has this happen literally. He also something in his possession related to Aaravos that he got in a situation that had good intentions but ultimately with sideways. From these two facts I deduced, 2-ish months post-S3, that Callum’s tendencies and behaviours would lead to him being more like Viren than he was comfortable with; that he’d have a part to play in Aaravos’ plans; and that his worst fear would be his mind being unsafe / his mind being invaded by Aaravos in some manner (dreams, nightmares, etc). I didn’t think it’d be quite so Literal and total as possession (although I did note Callum’s new S4 outfit with the circles around his wrist were rather like chains), but it was ultimately just a different take on the same thematic basis. I had all the right pieces and the right gist.

With all that said, here are the next set / ongoing set of pieces in approximate order of dissection:

Game Motif

Callum’s Associations with Freedom

Light and Dark Motif

Book 6: Star / Destiny

The Game Motif

The game motif is most interesting to me personally, as many people know. In S1-S3 it’s primarily carried through in Rayla’s comments regarding the Key of Aaravos, found in the game room (and pointed out) by her in 1x04. As of S4, the game motif has a subset consisting of Ezran’s hide and seek motif (given that the key and Aaravos’ prison was hidden), the literal puzzle it takes to figure out the placement of the prison (S4), and four figures displayed as game pieces: Viren (S4 intro), Callum (S4 intro) with the cube as a bonus, Avizandum (flashbacks in 2x06 and 3x06; also literally turned to stone), and Rayla (elven toy in 1x04).

The two theories regarding the Key of Aaravos that I’ve had are centred around the assumption that it is something Aaravos wants or needs back (as this could not be the case). The first, most likely if the Key’s use is revealed in S5, is that it’ll relate to his prison. The second, perhaps more likely if it the secret is only revealed post-S5, is that it is a Key related to Aaravos: his chest piece, a memory holder, or something else he needs to seemingly regain his full powers.

The Game Motif, therefore, on a certain level works quite well with TDP’s tendency to be both more literal than expected (see: possession plot line) and simultaneously less literal than expected. If the Key is related to his prison, then it’s more literal, in which a captured chess piece can be exchanged for a pawn if the latter has reached the end of the board (hi, Aaravos getting out in S5). If it’s related to something else Aaravos adjacent and is involved in S6, then it’s still literal, but involved not in his escape but in his victory, or checkmate, if you will, key squares with pawns and kings and all. It would also make sense that Viren is the primary pawn in S5 and for Callum to be the primary pawn in S6 (as indicated in the Ziard-Viren-Callum game motif art forever ago).

But more on that later.

Callum’s Associations with Freedom

I’ve talked more about Callum’s associations in this meta about how TDP is inherently thematic, so I won’t repeat too much of it here. The core of it is that of course Callum is a Sky mage (“My breath for freedom”) being set both literally and thematically against a being from the Stars (“and destined to play right into my hands”) as the centrepiece of the story’s conflict. Aaravos’ associations and hand in creating/discovering dark magic and Callum being a human primal mage with an arcanum just extends this further.

What this means going into S5 / the coin / possession plot line threads (for future seasons) is that Callum and Aaravos are both seeking freedom, much like Claudia (for Aaravos and her father by extension) and Kim’Dael (for herself). Which is to say: in S5 Aaravos is seeking Callum’s thematic core, and that’s interesting to say the least. The symbolism of a Key and Breaking the Chains of History don’t help either.

What this means, ultimately, is that there are roughly two main thematic paths (in line with the above) that this can take.

1) Callum is coerced into helping to free Aaravos (cube or otherwise) and that’s how his freedom is trampled upon, quasi-losing his own in exchange for Aaravos’ literal formation (+ possible bonus points if freeing Rayla or her parents’ plays a role as well).

2) Callum’s role in Aaravos’ plans relates to Aaravos’ checkmate move. This would more away from the more literal manifestations of Callum’s role as like, Freedom, to his more lowkey motif of Breaking Things (Rayla’s binding, the primal stone, the seal of King Harrow’s letter, the chains in 2x07, Rayla’s pendant in 3x08, and probably the boat in S5). This again plays into Aaravos’ talk of shattering: “And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky” (TDP Reflections: Patience).

The key factor to each, I think, is putting Callum’s wrestling of freedom, and by extension narrative control and bodily autonomy, on full display. S5 and S6 are the Tragedy Seasons, and given that all signs point to him losing Aaravos’ game (at least at first). Whether it’s him doing something under possession (although more on that later) or him regaining his freedom by well, breaking free, only to play into Aaravos’ hands anyway... It’s clear the Startouch elf wants him for something, and it can’t be anything good, whether it’s a Path of Darkness or Light.

And, speaking of which...

Light and Dark Motif

Again, I’ve gone over this before (here’s how it manifests with Rayla and Callum, and here is why the ‘light’ isn’t the solidly good thing it can be easy to think of it is, in-show). General light and darkness motif tag here for anyone interested in tracking this motif further / it’s extensiveness going into S5.

What matters though is that 4x02, 4x04, and 4x07 complicate the Game Motif and Callum’s dynamic with Aaravos further by tethering it explicitly to the Light and Dark motif. It’s not just that the cube is in Callum’s hands before Aaravos picks him up; it’s that the cube flashes a bright white light as well beforehand. It’s “In darkness, gaze upon a Fallen Star” and “the human mage, already tainted by darkness, and destined to play right into my hands” and “what if I’m on a path of darkness?” This duality also ties back into Viren’s statement in 2x06 (“We emerged into darkness and quickly got to work. [Xadia] held both the promise of our salvation and threat of our destruction”) as well as statements regarding Rayla (“So they might kill you or they might save you” from the book 1 novelization, explicitly about Rayla / “Now you’re back. That’s kind of good and kind of bad”). These both tie into the keys themselves being something that can lock and mutually unlock things.

They’ll either come to fruition in book 5 (which, I could see Rayla breaking Callum out of brainwashing, and/or Callum doing something that leads him into being ‘in darkness’) or will be built upon mildly in order for S6 to deliver the true sucker punch. But it is still likely in the cards that Rayla will save Callum from brainwashing when the Light and Dark Motif finally, fully, comes to call.

And while the full resolution of the plot line would work nicely for Book 5: Ocean (the ocean is about navigation and inherently cyclical; Rayla is accordingly scared of water and of losing him) I do wonder about the well, irresistible temptation perhaps of it being in S6. Callum choosing Rayla over Aaravos’ brainwashing is him choosing agency and love (for however long) over fear and control. A chosen destiny over an enforced destiny. And well, doesn’t that sound like

Book 6: Star

It is known now that in S5 we’re going to get to go to a place that Rayla went to during her time away, meaning she gets to act a bit like a guide. We also know that however Rayla and Stella, and indeed why Stella is connected to the Star arcanum, is important and yet untold. And that Stella is our only non-Aaravos related being/object related to the Star arcanum that is also not a quasar diamond or tied to Aaravos (the key, the staff, Sir Sparklepuff, and the elf himself).

And that the Key, the star arcanum, Stella, and Rayla’s reappearance into Callum’s life are all tied together with Light in 4x02.

Uncovering secrets and discovering the truth is also often associated with light, both in general and canonically in-universe with the show’s symbolism (i.e. Callum walking towards Rayla in the light out of the darkness once he discovers the truth about King Harrow).

The fact of the matter is that until the Key comes into play in some way, the according foreshadowing attached to it ( “I hope it was worth it to you, putting everyone’s lives in danger” / “Are you practicing magic or losing to Bait at a game of rolly-cubes?” / “It’s the Key of Aaravos. No good can come of it”) is still floating up in the air.

And thematically, Stars is all about Destiny, wishes, and vision. Stars are lights in the dark, both a sign of hope (hi Leola’s Wish and the South Star) and a manifestation of our main villain. S6 could also be dark magic, which would take the ‘dark and light’ associations to a new level. If S5 is about getting Callum be in or more inclined to the darkness, then S6 is when he will presumably be in it, whatever that means (possession or hopelessness/rage, probably).

I could see him becoming obsessive to figure out the Key, hoping that it’ll be a weapon or Aaravos’ downfall (as also posited pre-S4) only for it to lead to everything spiralling out of control, leading to possession or putting Ez and Rayla at risk in another manner. And of course, they/she save him, because they always will. But as I’ve said many times, S6 is also the Tragedy Arc. It has to bring everyone to their lowest moment. One of these Tragedy Seasons will also, I think, be the perfect place for Callum to do his Fucked Up Thing and bring his Viren (and Claudia) parallels full circle. “They aren’t games, they’re tests” and “tests of love” and all that. Cause if all those plot threads and parallels and consistent imagery doesn’t go somewhere in S5 (and S5 has already majorly added to it) it has to go somewhere, and S6 is it.

After all, with Aaravos’ shattering in mind...

And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky.

I laid out here how Rayla and Aaravos represent Callum’s two future paths (similarly to the way Rayla and primal magic vs Claudia and dark magic are Callum’s two paths in S2) and how well, choosing her over Aaravos may not be as mutually exclusive as he thinks.

It’s not a coincidence, either, that S4 ramps up the negative cube associations to a 10: showing Callum toying around with it while Zubeia explicitly states that mages are Aaravos’ favourite prey; the cube being in the 4x04 intro when it did not have to be, and the intro exists entirely for the audience’s benefit; Callum being unable to let it go / give it up in 4x07, even though he’s willing to give up his life to stop Aaravos from using him, etc.

Explaining/exploring Stella’s connection to the Star arcanum in the same season that will finally explain the Key of Aaravos in the same season Callum has to confront ‘his destiny’ in the same season that the kids are destined to lose more than ever? Sounds amazing, don’t you think?

Conclusion

One of the reasons it’s comparatively easy to speculate is because well, like any good tragedy, we know how S5 and S6 have to end: not well. It seems more likely than ever that Aaravos will indeed be released by the end of S5 / very beginning of S6, leading to destruction and upheaval. Either way, it leaves S6 to be Aaravos, in his mind, ending the story. Finishing the book. This is his checkmate, his victory. Callum and the rest of his pawns have lived out their usefulness. But just like how Aaravos outlived the end of his myth/story, so will they, and Callum (and Rayla, and Ezran) at the very least will return to successfully win in S7, come hell or high water.

As such, much of what is highlighted above is taken from these consistent puzzle pieces, if you will, and attempting to figure out the various options we have for their execution. And of course, TDP could always throw us some delightful curveballs, but it seems the gist and playing out of well, the game, has to fall somewhere along these patterns / routes, tethered together by the possession plot line and Callum being coerced to do Aaravos’ bidding. There’s not a lot of ways those things can go happily in a Tragedy.

And that is exactly why I am very happy and excited to see where it all goes, and I hope you are too.

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amnestyliketaz · 7 months

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HELLO

newest episodes ‼️‼️‼️

THE SKETCH. ARCHIE AND JIM AND OLUWANDE WERE ALL HOLDING HANDS AND SHARING A ROOM. THE PROPOSAL. STEDE AND IZZY. ED TRYING SO SO HARD. YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL. LETS TAKE IT SLOW. IZZYS LITTLE WHALE. ANNE AND MARY. BUTTONS TURNED INTO A BIRD. FOR THE NEW UNICORN.

#what the the fuck #what the fuck #oh my god #i don’t have any actual coherent thoughts i’m just insane #these were the best episodes ever #ever ever ever #i watched 4 and was like they can’t top this. and then they did #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd season 2 #hopefully that covers all bases #amnesty original

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so-very-small · 7 months

Text

(headsup for mentions of weed in this post)

im taking a little break from thc and man. i need to be tiny in a jar so whenever i go “this fucking sucks i wanna smoke” the giant can shake the jar really hard

#weed mention #drug mention #weed tw #i think that covers all bases #i am actually glad im going on a break. i like to use it to manage my health symptoms #but lately ive been in a not great headspace and kinda going ham #so im taking some time to cool off. reprioritize. hopefully get myself out of this brain funk #sobriety has never been. an easy thing for me so i am a lil proud #taking it one day at a time baybee

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fandomfluffandfuck · 8 months

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not sure what to qualify this as, but I read the following in "getting where your face won't spoil the view" by notlucy and it's been stuck in my brain ever since

(tw for like implied cannibalism/vore I think?)

they were initially talking about rimming but then bucky went too stupid (affectionate)

“Steve…”

“Eat you out for days.” He fists a hand in Bucky’s hair, yanking his head back and exposing the column of his throat. Grinning, he goes in for a bite, sucking the rough, stubbled skin. “You need a shave.”

“Eat… me… “

It’s not an insult—he’s too spacey to be witty—but the way he says it makes Steve laugh all the same, and he kisses his jaw, his neck, the space beneath his ear. “Yeah, eat you up. Inside and out. Cut off pieces of you, just for me.” Bucky licks his lips; Steve takes advantage of an open mouth and shoves his thumb in, forcing Bucky’s tongue down, gratified when he gags. “You want that, Buck?”

A frantic nod, head moving as much as it’s able. God, he’s pretty like this.

do you have any thoughts like this about them?? idk if it falls under primal but it just scratches my brain well and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it some!!

ps. I don't like it in a gore way, more like the concept of consumption itself, on a brain sense more than the body? * insert Steve Kemp's speech about eating/consuming/being consumed being a form of love * I really don't know if this ask makes any sense anymore lmao thanks for reading this

"getting where your face won't spoil the view" by notlucy

I FUCKING LOVE THAT SERIES AND LET ME SAY--

Another line/idea from that series that makes me feral that's also, if you think realistically, very graphic is:

“What’d I say about moving, genius?” he growls, jerking his arm higher and oh, Jesus, Steve’s strong, he’s so strong and he could break the bone if he wanted to, but Bucky doesn’t want him to, doesn’t think he would, except that he could, and probably that’s the point. “I didn’t—ow, fuck, I’m sorry, but…” “No buts. No excuses. Next time I’ll nail your hand to the wall. Got me?” Bucky shivers and whines, caught between pure fantasy and harsh reality as he gasps out, “please don’t do that…” “No?” Steve’s grip tightens on his wrist, the pain a bright spark. “Why shouldn’t I? Because you’re in charge?” “Shouldn’t…” He drinks in a lungful of air, desperate and yowling, both loving and hating the threat. “Not… shouldn’t. You can but please don’t because I’m sorry and I’m…” “That’s right. I could. But I won’t. Because I believe in second chances.”

That excerpt is from "those clinging vines that had me bound, well i don't need them" by notlucy

I have many asks I need to get to, and I try to go in order of when they were sent in, but... maybe it's just my barely disguised teeth fetish talking (or maybe it's the vague religious undertone, nailing a hand to a cross that gets me, oops)... I could not resist this one.

All credit for inspiration goes to notlucy. This particular AU of Steve and Bucky, I am not claiming as mine! I'm just writing a general, darker d/s stucky pairing.

Content warning for non-gore, non-graphic mentions of dismemberment, death, etc. I promise it's not as dark as it sounds?? I don't know. This just came out of me 💀💀

"E-eat me," Bucky whimpers, voice strung out and pathetic.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, sweetheart," Steve teases him, just the right amount of bite to his words as he prowls circles around Bucky's strung up, helpless form.

Bucky's wrists are encircled by thick, padded cuffs. Attached via chain to the anchor points in the ceiling, his arms are held straight up above his body. Not too unforgiving, not too relaxed. Meanwhile, Bucky's legs are forced embarrassingly wide by a spreader bar at his ankles, attached via matching, snug ankle cuffs. He's not going anywhere. All he can do to squirm is shiver.

Helpless.

Just like Steve likes him.

He grins meanly, "you're so desperate for me."

Bucky whimpers in agreement, running out of words as he gets deeper and deeper into subspace. The expression on his face is stupid. Slack and empty-eyed. So precious.

"You just want to be in my mouth," Steve's upper lip curls up as he says it, almost snarling the words out.

Bucky's head lulls back between his shoulders, collared throat fully exposed, crumbling under his words, his voice, his promises. Wanting it just as badly as Steve is claiming he does. Slut.

Steve grabs his throat, standing in front of him, big and imposing, "you just wanna serve me, huh?" He shakes him around. Just a little. Enough to make him choke and sputter, glowing red under the attention. "Give into your higher purpose, yeah? Yeah. I know, sweetheart, you can't hide it, you want me to take little pieces of you, keep you close, so all I have to is reach over when I'm starting to feel hungry and..." Steve rakes his nails down his sides, unkind, "get a little piece of you to satisfy my appetite. More and more until there's nothing left."

"Hhuh, please!" Bucky keens.

His dick is so hard, jutting up obvious and obscene and wet between his trembling, lithe thighs. He already must've been on fire before Steve grated him with his nails, but as a result of the treatment... he burns hotter. His flesh turns even more pink. Red. Stained from his hairline, all down his face, neck, and chest, to his heaving stomach. The shape of his ribcage expanding and contracting, gleaming with sweat, as he struggles to breathe is fuckin' poetry in motion.

Steve bites down a groan, barely resisting taking the moment to himself to jerk off or to stand behind Bucky and fuck up into his exposed backside. Maybe not even his hole. Bucky is for him, after all. He could fuck his thighs instead. Deny him everything, but the glide of his throbbing, hard dick between those sweet thighs.

Jesus.

"You're so inspiring, baby," Steve waltzes behind him, dragging his nails across the canvas of his skin as if he wants to paint a masterpiece. All desire and lust. Art. "The way you cry and writhe," he lets out a hungry sound, "God, I don't know if I wouldn't be able to resist and I would eat you up right away, devour you like the starving man I am, or if I would have to drag it out and savor the taste, the thrill, because you beg and squirm and cry so prettily. Dinner and a show. How about that?" Steve chuckles, slapping his side hard enough to leave a handprint.

"God! G-AH!"

Steve cuts his second adorable little wail right in half, with a few equally had slaps to his ass. More handprints. One on each cheek, then a few overlapping prints. More claims. Like a brand on a prized piece of cattle.

And, huh, isn't that a thought?

Maybe he'll bend Bucky over, put him in a stockade so he can't go anywhere, and carve his initials into him. SGR. Maybe he'll make a custom brand, heat it, and listen to him squeal and cry as it sizzles. SGR. Although...

His Ma did always tell him not to play with his food before eating.

Glossing over that delicous idea, for now, Steve pinches Bucky right where it hurts, if his chest rattling sob is anything to go by. Yet, he conversationally speaks over his struggles, "what if I strung you up, tied you up all pretty, and just took little bites out of my new piece of artwork?"

Bucky makes a wordless caterwaul that sounds like assent. Or please. He's squirming, he's crying, and he's enjoying himself. It's hard to tell. Completely incoherent.

"Or, maybe I decide to bring over some friends and show off my catch, hm?" Catch. As if Bucky is some kind of game--fish, deer, elk--and Steve the hunter. "I know their mouths would water just looking at you. You look so delicious. Tender and juicy, huh?" Steve gropes his pointedly tender (from the spanks) ass, unashamed and filthy.

"AH!" Bucky keens.

"Don't worry, though, sweetheart," Steve smoothly purrs, "you're all mine." He bares his teeth. Wolfish.

"St-Steeve," Bucky whimpers. Cute.

"Mine. I'd never let them have a taste," he grabs him hard. His hips. He wants to leave fingerprint bruises behind. "They'll just have to hunger from afar. Admiring all the marks in you--chunks taken out by my teeth." Steve bites his shoulder, smelling his dark musk. He's sweating badly. Glistening. Beautiful. Steve licks his lips and goes on, "aaaall these marks because I couldn't help but steal bites while waiting for them to show. You're irresistible, sweetheart," he inhales deeply, as if he's wafting a fine wine, taking in the notes. "Want you so bad. I want you in me. All of you. 'M gonna eat you."

"Eat me!" Bucky begs, pathetic, mouth open and lips trembling.

"Yeah, yeah," Steve encourages, his mouth is split in such a wide grin that his face aches. He can't stop, though. "You're gonna be begging for it right up until you're swallowed whole, aren't you? You just can't help yourself," Steve pulls his head up just to grab at his chin and pinch his sweet dimpled chin. Shaking his head around. He looks so silly. Yet, Steve really does want to eat him. He makes him so hungry. "You want it so bad."

"Y's!" Bucky slurs, crying out.

Steve licks up his tears, swallows, then licks his teeth and shuts his eyes as he makes a humming sound like he's a delectable dessert. Like he's never tasted anything sweeter.

He hasn't.

God.

"After I'm done with you," Steve whispers harshly, "I'm never gonna forget it." He bites at Bucky's jaw, moaning despite himself because poor Bucky is completely limp. His head is up because Steve's holding it that way. "I'll taste you on my tongue forever. And I'm gonna tell everyone about it."

Bucky moans hoarsely, and he swoons in bonds. Feet giving from under him. Falling onto Steve's solid chest.

Steve chuckles, pleased, but pushes him back to standing, lips to Bucky's ear, "'m gonna say how there was this adorable, sweet sub that wanted me so bad he cried and begged and plead until I just ate him up like the big, bad wolf."

Bucky whimpers, a tiny, desperate sound.

"My sweet little bunny..." Steve licks his tongue up Bucky's throat, over his Adam's apple as he swallows, broad and hot, "I'm gonna tell them about how stupid you went whenever I sunk my teeth into your neck." He does it now. Bucky shakes, silently screaming. "And they're gonna stare at my teeth and know. They'll know how sweet you were. Too bad I had you all to myself."

Bucky can't speak. He can't stop shaking. He just stays there limp, whining, crying, wanting. The want rolls off of him in waves. Steve's going to devour him. Mouth on his throat, sucking bruises and leaving behind teeth indents, and hand tight around his cock. It doesn't even take him three strokes before he's giving in. Cumming right in Steve's palm. Steve licks it all up. His mess. Every part of Bucky is delicious and demands to be savored.

P.S. I have a playlist specifically themed around teeth that I was unashamedly blasting as I wrote this 😏 (and yes, I have a problem. I just like teeth, okay?)

#asks #fandomfluffandfuck #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #tw cannibalism #tw vore #tw implied death #tw implied gore #tw implied violence #does that cover all my bases??#hopefully lol #teeth #fic rec #🔪 anon

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mc-tummy-blur · 9 months

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Realized it’s the 36th anniversary for The Lost Boys (released July 31, 1987) a.k.a the movie that fundamentally changed me as a child (in a queer way)

Usually I link my ko-fi to my art pieces but considering this is a movie distributed by Warner Bros., I’m not gonna cause even though I just draw for fun for a small amount of followers, I don’t wanna risk making money from this post specifically (as unlikely as it is). I don’t know how strict the lines are for fan content that are made by the companies being struck right now (both for new media and old media), I just know that you can’t take any deals that a company tries to make with you in order promote current work for the companies being struck. However, considering I want to work in the industry one day, I’m not going to risk it by putting the ko-fi link directly onto this post. I’m only using this fanart to express my love for how this movie was written and acted, as it is filled with so much queer subtext, iconic comedic lines, and genuinely scary moments. This movie would not be a cult classic without the writers and actors involved, and considering this movie is on streaming sites like Netflix, those actors and writers should be paid for what they are worth, and I want to express that.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #michael emerson #michael the lost boys #joel schumacher #horror movies #tw eyestrain #mcart #that long paragraph may come across as over dramatic but I really just wanna cover my bases when posting art that is related #to the companies that are being struck right now because even though I see fanart being post of new media stuff as well as people #spreading the word to watch something I wanna be as clear as I can when I post something because it’s important to me #and even though I’m not being paid to promote anything since I’m literally nobody on here #I’m not gonna risk it by putting my ko-fi link on art that is fan art of media related to the struck companies #because I would really like to work in the industry one day #hopefully when a deal is made that rightfully pays the workers what they are deserved among other things #so whenever I post fanart expect a long paragraph to be in place of the ko-fi link

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astrangerlately · 2 years

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#catholic guilt #lyrics #catholicism cw #animal flag lyrics #st cecilia's #catholic imagery #catholic aesthetic #religious imagery #religion cw #hopefully that covers all bases but ask if you need it tagged #this is such a fucking banger and extremely underrated among the community of gays who collect gender neutral songs w blasphemous imagery #every time i kneel down to meet my maker the only thing i see is your face #you #i #love #slove #warm #dark

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cha1cedony · 3 months

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Just woke up in the middle of the night and about to try to get back to sleep again but: if Grant Wilson had the chance to live as any kind of bug for idk 24 hours? What kind of bug do you think he’d choose and, if it’s different, which bug do YOU think would suit him best? 🥰

OH MY GOODNESS. This is the best thing anyone’s ever asked me HAHAHA. For context… I love bugs (and Grant ofc) SOOO much

Ahem. Okay. Okay. This is a multi-faceted question. And I plan to be very annoying about it 😁‼️‼️‼️ I’m going to put it under a break bc I actually spent (too much) time rambling and overthinking this lol

WARNING: Very long and nonsensical Grant bug ramble below. Also, there are images of insects and spiders!

The Grant Bug Post

24-hour bug survival (lmao)

As much as I love bugs (using that term very loosely in this post btw), I doubt Grant would WANT to be a bug for a day (because he is no fun!!! 😤👎 /lh). However, let’s say he’s fighting an entomologist acolyte (who used to be one of Henry’s co-docents at the natural history museum or something lol) and is turned into a bug for 24 hours, but he gets to choose the bug beforehand.

In this situation, Grant would go for a tactical bug, but he probably also has limited knowledge of bugs (again, no fun). His pick would need to be resilient and small enough to hide/run quickly. I don’t think he would go for something that can actually do much damage; he’d rather wait out the 24 hour period. Cockroaches infamously can take a few stomps, can hold up to radiation (which mayyy have been important in pre-Code Purple apocalypse Earth?), and can kinda scurry around and hide and survive on trash for a day. They also live for about a year (not that Grant would probably know that), so in case something went awry and he WASN’T immediately turned back after 24 hours, he would live longer than other bugs, giving the other kiddads enough time to hopefully figure something out (although, if Nicky’s problem-solving skills are any evidence, they probably would NOT figure out a way to turn Grant back 😔 lol)

If Grant was in a similar situation, but he NEEDED to defend himself/others (instead of just running and hiding), I can imagine him going for something that both flies and stings, like a bee or wasp: feels sniper-y, satisfies both his violent and self-sacrificial tendencies, etc. Unfortunately, one sting is not gonna get the job done, unless maybe the acolyte is allergic to bees :) Grant is very headstrong and unfortunately would definitely launch himself into battle as fuckin bee if he was in a bad mood. Hopefully, in this situation, the other guys would be there to hold him back from becoming a bee and immediately dying 😭

I was also trying to think of bugs (or bug-adjacent creatures) that shoot projectiles of any kind (because sniper lol), but I can only think of bombardier beetles, which shoot explosive liquid out of their abdomens (very cool, but Grant would not know about them).

PS: Snails can also shoot hormonal projectiles called “love darts” that are used to determine assert sexual dominance and which snail will be male/female for reproduction (since they’re hermaphroditic) but. That’s definitely not applicable here 😭😭 I just wanted to share. They also have bad aim, so Grant could never be a snail 🙄 hehehah

For fun :)

Aside from missions or life/death situations, the only time I think Grant would willingly become a bug for 24 hours (<- CRAZY phrase LMAO) is to make Lincoln happy :) Link’s favorite animals are caterpillars, and I can imagine Grant finding some kind of item/spell to turn himself into a bug and IMMEDIATELY dropping everything to be Link’s pet caterpillar for the day hehe. Some kind of friendly, cute caterpillar who won’t make Lincoln itchy… or turn into a butterfly and fly away 🥲 He would even let Link shake him around in a jar for a little while (he always scolds Link for trying to keep bugs in jars hehe). That way, he gets to encourage Link’s interests in a way that is VERY safe for all parties involved. If Grant had to pick ONE bug for to become, I think he would go with a caterpillar, unless he was in the special situations I described above. (Maybe I should’ve put this paragraph higher up! :p)

Google (more specifically, this website—that’s right; I’m citing my sources in the Grant bug post 😎) says monarchs and anise swallowtails are common in southern California, and they’re both big and cute and not too prickly, so I can imagine those being some of Link’s favorites :) I think his favorite is the monarch specifically (the yellow stripey one below) but Grant likes the swallowtail (the green spotted one)

Kid/teen Grant

As a kid, I think Grant was probably grossed out by bugs and would NOT want to be one (again, boring smh). I was trying to think of a soccer-related bug, but the best I can come up with is a dung beetle 😬 He would NOT want to be a dung beetle. There are unfortunately no gamer bugs (except maybe the Pikachu spider shown below, but Grant would not like spiders, nor would he really care about Pokemon). Bugs should try playing Fortnite, I think

Assigning him a… bugsona? lol

OKAY. On to the more important question… What bug do I think Grant would be? I’m actually shocked I’ve never thought about it before because, in past fandoms I’ve been in, I have a history of making lists of what bug each character would be. Very self-indulgent, I know. Shush. I’m being self-indulgent right now 😤 I think I’ll make a list of potential bugs for each DnDads character… ANYWAY

My immediate reaction to this question was some kind of beetle. Grant actually has always reminded me a LOT of an old anthropomorphic beetle OC I had in high school :) He was a green stag beetle—Lamprima adolphinae—and I think it suits Grant really well!

As a character, Grant generally feels very beetle-ish to me; he is very big and imposing with a tough exterior, both physically and metaphorically. BUT he can also be very lovey, easily embarrassed, bookish, a little geeky, etc. which I associate with these beetles in particular mostly just because of that old OC I mentioned before. And they’re GREEN! Grant is green (in my heart and mind hehe). It’s perfect B)

I know my initial cockroach mention might’ve sounded funny, but I can definitely imagine Grant as a roach o_o !!! Again, they’re wide and sturdy and headstrong, but flighty/skittish at the same time. Very Grant. I also could see him being an assassin bug. The name works for him too haha 🥲🥲

I could also MAYBE imagine him as other similarly sleek bugs, like a bald-faced hornet, but I think beetles or true bugs (assassin bugs, cicadas, etc.) suit him best. I can’t really imagine him being a small bug

Okay. Okay. Phew. I cannot believe I wrote THIS MUCH about bug Grant. If only I could write this much of my fic this fast lmao 😭

MY FINAL VERDICT…. 🥁🥁🥁

I think Grant would choose to be a cockroach 🪳 for survival purposes, but he would easily be a caterpillar 🐛 to make his son happy. If I had to give Grant a.. bugsona?, it would be a stag beetle 🪲 for sure! :)

If you actually read all of this, uhhh thank you???? 🐞 <- here’s a lucky ladybug for you. PLEASE tell me your DnDads bug opinions if you have any I’d love to hear them 🙏 Maybe someday I will draw the main characters as anthro bugs (bc that’s like. the only thing I can draw heheh)

Thanks so much to Isadora for sending this ask omg!!!! :’) I saw it a little bit ago while doing schoolwork, and I was super excited to write this silly post, so it helped motivate me to finish. Feeling a lot better :) Sorry I wrote such a long response haha! PS: I hope you got some sleep!!! >:0

#chalcy stuff #long post #ask #should I tag this……. 😭😭#grant wilson #not tagging this with the main dndads tags. it’s too silly #bugs #insects #cw insects #cw bugs #<- hopefully that covers my bases 🤞

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