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privateanxieties · 9 months

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forget my mercy, take my blame (chapter 2)

Summary: You thought the events of the day couldn't get worse than one robbery and a cryptic conversation with a mysterious stranger. You thought wrong. This, you realize, is how it all starts.

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Many hours later, guilt is eating its way through a considerable portion of your conscience, as it usually does following the clash of hot temper and arrogance— both of them yours. You're no longer insistent on pinning your shortcomings on the mysterious stranger with molten brown eyes, though you're still grumpy about his bold assumptions and oddly skewering way of getting a point across.

Just let it go. Don't do what I know you want to do.

You split the four hundred dollars he left between your two employees, but for some reason, the crumpled up singles still rest in your jacket pocket. The money takes up a lot more space inside your head as you drive home, radio turned up above its usual volume. It doesn't provide much of a distraction, because the faintly illuminated road ahead is the perfect canvas for a busy mind to fill.

Traces of the past hide inside misshapen trees and uneven asphalt, and if your grip were a little tighter, it would leave the same dent in the steering wheel that it did the night you drove back from that slate quarry in your hometown. Nineteen years is a long time to still remember the smell of overheated excavation equipment. It's far away, yet surfaces so abruptly that your nose almost floods with it. Your lips press together in displeasure.

Well, at least you're breathing. You suppose Mark couldn't from beneath all that gravel you buried him under. Did he suffocate or was he crushed? Maybe a question you'll always have in the back of your mind. You know the answer wouldn't give you peace, were it to arrive from an omniscient being. What does it matter how he died? Yours is the will that killed him. Turning an event around and over and upside down two decades after it took place is just another way of engaging your guilt and letting it gnaw on more mental acuity. You need your wits about you, so you don't forget what all this is even for. You're alive. You have a life that needs living. Sometimes, there will be people who won't let you live it, and you can't just throw everything away to settle the score.

Scoffing at the bullshit mantra you’ve tried feeding yourself all day, you take the last right turn before you're finally on the road that leads home, hand reaching out to lower the volume on the stereo. Whatever. You made it through today, and you'll try your hardest not to think about the little shit who stole from you and his neon green jacket. You’ll also do your best not to think about your encounter with the strange man and his gruff voice, lest he become the thing you lose sleep over tonight.

It'll be hard to avoid it, because you kept his message. Maybe as a symbol, or maybe as an excuse. There is some part of you that wants to believe he was meant to be there today, if only so you didn't truly screw up this time and become a criminal. Shooting someone while they're robbing you and hunting them down to do it afterwards are actions that the law tends to distinguish between unfavorably. Just like it might distinguish between killing someone inside an old quarry and killing them after they'd already taken you there for murder.

The self-defense angle always felt shoddy in your mind. Maybe what you did to Mark would've looked like self-defense to a jury, but you sure know you didn't bury him under seven tons of jagged rock because you wanted to protect yourself. You didn't burn down his house because you were feeling reasonably threatened. You just wanted him to get what was coming his way. Karma, your hands.

You might have a problem, but you're alive. You survived that and you're going to survive more, just as soon as you take a cold bath and chase away the heat settling in your bones. That's what mid-August spent in an ancient car with no working air conditioner will get you. Replacing the shitty truck will have to wait, because news of the robbery will spread and you don't want to be telegraphing the fact that the bakery isn't your main source of income.

This may be a nice town, but today was a good example of a gap in people's decency— yours included, because you were so fucking rude to that mysterious stranger, and what did it accomplish? He replenished your losses and left without another word. The longer you look back, the more guilt advances on your psyche. It stills momentarily, however, when a suitable distraction finally appears as you find yourself a couple hundred feet down the road from your house. It’s true that you wanted something else to focus on, but this is so unwelcomed that it sends a wave of nausea through your body.

The scene is flooded with the red and blue lights of two police cruisers and one ambulance, all parked along the narrow cul-de-sac housing only two buildings: yours and Hazel's. Your mind kicks into high gear before you even lay eyes upon the crowd that has gathered on your front lawn. The sky turned dark not long ago, the hands of the clock approaching a kind of twilight zone of your neighborhood: nobody is typically out at this time of night, and yet, at least twelve people found enough interest in the unfolding scene to leave the comfort of their homes.

The commotion is centered around your property, but the ambulance suggests someone requiring medical attention. You live alone. Hazel is in her late 80s, and you've known her to need a doctor now and then. However, the police being here is the part of the equation that you really don't like. You try to slow down a mind that by nature has already zeroed in on potential scenarios, making a decision to pull over right outside the cul-de-sac instead of crowding it with another vehicle. In a neighborhood this small, your arrival is noticed.

You don't linger, unsticking yourself from the clammy leather seats and stepping out of the truck. The air outside is marginally better than inside the car, though heat still scalds with the gentler hand of a dry climate. At least you're not pouring sweat and disheveled, because it appears that bath will have to wait. And, after only a few moments of approaching the scene, you realize just how long that wait is going to be. There is black tarp on your porch.

The closer you get, the more your spine tingles. Pairs of wide eyes settle on you as you pass them, and it isn't long before Sheriff Randy O'Hare nails you with his own bulbous gaze. He looks like an idiot, and not even one that's in charge. You glance at the porch again.

Tiny surface area. Not much room between the ground and the black material taking up space. Small, lithe. Your house.

The sheriff is having some sort of internal conflict you wish you weren't here to witness. He shuffles from one foot to the other and clears his throat as you stop in front of him, several feet away from the stairs leading up to your front door. It's spattered with blood, visible even against the dark brown oak. Fresh.

Randy says nothing for several more seconds. You have many things to say, none which are appropriate. You've never been good at playing the emotionally fragile. There's a body on your front porch and you need this fucking idiot to speak or—

"I'm so sorry. We're… We're all still in shock. I've known her—" He stops, wiping his mouth and looking away as if something startled him. "—my whole life, I swear. She never did nothing to nobody. Jesus help me, if I get my hands on the one that did it—"

"Who is that, Randy?" you interrupt. It's a question you've asked law enforcement before in your life. The air pressing down on your skin is even warmer now.

"Look, I can't imagine how hard this is. She meant a great deal to everyone in this town, but you knew her best. Ain't nobody ever have a kinder word to say than her. I can't believe—"

"Randy, who the fuck is that?"

If you snap, it's not of your own volition. You're not here. Not really. You aren't with Randy O'Hare, Sheriff of Apolline County who apparently can't utter a simple name. Your mind has traveled backwards in time, and the house you're standing next to isn't your own, but it's painted just about the same. It’s easy to slip away into memory. The awning and the windows are fashioned into the same mold as your childhood home, because those were the things you’d loved most about that house— a mistake. You made a mistake. Your eyes are drawn to the ground, mind working in all directions.

"Hazel Bergman."

You think you hear another name for a brief and cruel moment. The sight of polished black boots atop lush grass only works to further blur the line between past and present.

"I'm so sorry, honey."

"What happened?"

You haven't been so aware of the nuance in your voice since it last betrayed you by shaking as it now is. It's so, so warm outside, but not humid. Not like Auckney. It's not as bad as it was when you were standing in front of a similar house, aged nineteen and wondering why the woman who raised you wouldn't get up from her rocking chair.

You need to get a grip. Look O'Hare in the eyes. You need to know if he lies to you, like cops always do. His face is melting under the cowboy hat. Even his eyeballs are sweating. He's emotional. He should be truthful.

"Daniel Roywood said he saw her arguing with somebody on your porch. He ain't hear what they were talkin' about, just that she looked upset. I've never seen that woman upset once in thirty years. She must've had a damn good reason," Randy explains, looking torn between grief and inoffensive anger. You're not torn between anything.

"Who was she arguing with?"

O'Hare sighs, a curt movement of his neck telling you he doesn't know shit.

"Nobody Danny knew. He couldn't get a good look— the damn house is too far away. But he just said they were arguin', and that was it. He shot her. Just some punk in a green jacket."

It's a miracle you don't react in any meaningful way. For that small interval between the words hitting you and your brain processing them, you're as impassive as before. That brief amount of time is all you get, however, because putting a face to that vague description happens in the blink of an eye.

You look away, covering your face with both hands. You slow your breathing as much as you can, trying to not make any noise as blood rushes through veins that have no hope of containing the pressure. It pounds at your temples and raises your temperature, and suddenly the only lever that hasn’t been flipped on your temper is labeled self-preservation. You can’t do this with people watching, and you’re briskly reminded of that as an unexpected weight settles upon your shoulders. It makes you flinch and move away, and you hear O'Hare apologize before he clears his throat again. A silence follows that isn't long enough.

"Look, I know this is hard. But you know I need to ask you some questions, right? We need to find the son of a bitch that did it and if you have any idea who—"

"I don't."

You've clipped your tongue with how hard you were biting it, but at least you've got your breathing back under control. Facing Randy is easier with a constant trickle of pain and metal. He looks torn, apologetic.

"Come on, honey. I know you don't want to think about anybody you know doin' something like this, but we need something to go on," he pleads. You don’t like the implication behind his words or the ring of truth around it.

"Randy. Everybody knows everybody here. I promise you, if Roywood didn't know him, then I sure as hell don't. I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not divorced. I generally don't keep male company. There is no one! " you seethe, and you're certain that he mistakes your outburst for lingering shock and anger about what happened. It is, but not in the way he seems to think.

The Sheriff frowns, so obviously pitying you and finally seeming more at ease now that you're the emotionally vulnerable one. It's fine. It works in your favor. Tonight will be long and you will benefit from not raising eyebrows or invoking anything other than sympathy from both police and neighbors. The Sheriff looks around for several moments, lips pressing together like he's chewing on the words he hasn't yet said. Soon enough, they part.

"Listen, I hate to ask right now. But if we have any chance in hell of catching this bastard, we could really use the feed from your cameras," he says, gesturing left. Your gaze follows his to the perimeter of the house, covered at every angle by wireless surveillance systems.

Just like that, a spark. A needle to thread. Another choice presented.

Crumpled up bills in your front pocket.

Warm steel at your back.

A splattered front door.

The maligned prescience of four words.

Ain't worth dying for.

"Randy, I…” You enjoy the first real breath since you've arrived. It really doesn't take you long to make a decision. “I'm sorry. I left those up for show more than anything. Couldn't afford the bills after a while. They don't work."

O’Hare deflates. There’s no suspicion you’ve told a lie. It's as if the grit he's supposed to have is flowing through you instead, lighting up your eyes and triggering the itch in your fingers. It's the challenge, the defiance, the guilt that sears through your veins now. The air is almost cool compared to the heat of your skin and the surge in your temper.

The Sheriff imparts more condolences you don't care to hear before walking away, but he's soon replaced by Deputy Dipshit, who you hope is wise enough to only offer pertinent details for the unfolding scene. You aren't interested in what Brent Rivers has been up to, and he usually insists on making it everybody's business. All you want to know is how long before you can enter your house, but pretty soon you realize he won't provide any clarity. It has to be his first murder scene, because he stumbles around simple words after greeting you with a mumbled hi .

He talks and talks, and nowhere does he utter that crucial piece of information you’re waiting to be told. Too long into his jumbled speech, you find the right place to interrupt. He had the nerve to comment on how you’re holding up.

"I'm sorry. I just don't think I'm all ears right now. All I want to do is…" A shaky breath rattles your chest. "… get away for a few days. I don't think I can sleep in my own house knowing this happened. Um, is there any way I could grab a few things and get out? I don't want to be alone once you leave."

Along the way, your words are punctuated by little tells of vulnerability: eyes downcast, vocal chords trembling, excessive blinking. Your shoulders pull in. Brent nods up a storm, mood lightening up as his arm comes to rest around them uninvited.

"Yeah, 'course. I can take you—"

You break away from his grip with an apologetic smile, rubbing your neck to keep your hands busy.

"Can you wait for me at the door? I'll feel better knowing someone's downstairs, and I already have a bag ready. You know, for uh, emergencies and stuff."

The Deputy is less pleased than before, but he acquiesces to your request with a nod and a motion towards the house. You pretend to hesitate before taking the wooden stairs slowly, keeping your eyes averted as you plant your feet on the porch. The edge of the tarp is barely an arm's length away. From this spot, you can see both the pool of blood seeping out from under it and the drops spread across the brick wall. You retrieve the keys from your jacket as Brent stops behind you.

"I'll be right here," he reassures in a too-gentle tone.

You walk inside without a reply, and to Brent's briefly glimpsed surprise, shut the door after you. The security system needs a two-step deactivation that would raise eyebrows after you've told O'Hare you can't afford the bills for the cameras. You breathe deeply for another moment, finally alone.

You only told a half-lie. There is a bag for emergencies, but not for the kind that people usually have. Downstairs as well as upstairs, you keep two duffels properly stocked and periodically checked. They're similar in contents, and yet your preference has always been clear. The bedroom closet. Upstairs. You move untethered towards your target.

Throwing two changes of clothes inside along with a plain pair of sneakers, you zip it back up and lift it over your shoulder. It feels familiar. This bag could be your life. Your life could be this bag. If things go wrong, you'll be good for a while. Back downstairs, where you arrive in the same haze, you make sure Piper and Mae will be good for a while too, replenishing the bird feeder and their respective water drippers, bidding them goodbye soon thereafter. You try not to linger in the house, but a glint draws your attention to the kitchen counter in your peripheral.

The casserole you stuffed your face with this morning and forgot to put back inside the fridge is resting exactly where you left it, the blue sticky note still attached to its side. You remember the message word for word, as well as the curving of the letters you've always been impressed by, though never more so than by the kindness behind each gesture. Hazel couldn't grip the pen quite as well as she used to in her old age, but she liked to practice in the notes she left for you.

She made you food. Cared for you. Made life feel less lonely.

She's outside your door for the last time because you didn't do the right thing today.

Ain't worth dying for.

You don’t realize you’ve walked over until your outstretched hand hesitates before the small note. It's the final one you'll ever get.

'Don't work so hard! It's Saturday, live a little!'

More copper flows into your mouth, this time springing from the lip you tore into so a sob could be stifled. You fold the paper with care and it goes into the same pocket as the pair of singles, just as your mind goes to the same place it's always been more comfortable resting. Maybe, the only place it can have any peace.

Keeping your head down as you exit the house, your eyes find her almost by accident. They're drawn to the tarp. You figure they have to be, since you put it there. You put her there, because you didn’t put a bullet in the right person. You didn't do what you knew you should've.

"Hey. Did you get what you need?"

Ain't worth dying for.

Your eyes don't stray, glued to a puddle of blood and the greedy floorboards swallowing it up. The eyes want to remember, just like the ears remember a thundering rock slide and the nose remembers diesel and construction equipment.

You tell the truth, and it sets you free.

"No."

-to be continued-

A/N: No Frank in this one unfortunately, but plenty of him in the next one and let me tell you, they are not the best of friends. Chapter 3 is scheduled for August 13th. If you'd like to be tagged for updates, you can reblog any of the previous chapters!

#frank castle x reader #frank castle x you #frank castle imagine #the punisher x reader #frank castle #frank castle smut

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critter-genfic-events · 7 months

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This week, we've got nineteen gen fics featuring your favorite purple tiefling! Whether that's Molly, Lucien, or Kingsley, they're covered here, under the cut. As ever, if you liked them, please leave them a comment or kudos!

it takes two by wastrelwoods (3023,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Beauregard Lionett & Mollymauk Tealeaf

Beau and Molly get trapped in a cave-in. Vitriolic bonding ensues.

Reccer says: This fic just absolutely encapsulates everything I love about Molly and Beau.

there’s a ghost in my lungs by QueenWithABeeThrone (289247, Teen) Warnings: Heavy Angst, implying/reference to brainwashing and torture, Hurt/Comfort, mind control aftermath. Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Beauregard & Fjord & Jester& Nott & Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast & Yasha, Beauregard/Yasha, Fjord/Jester

it is a Mollymauk!Winter Soldier AU

Reccer says: I will never not recommend this fic

Carry It Until We Die by starkraving (64513,Teen) Warnings: Hurt/comfort, angst, temporary Character Death, Whump, canon, divergence Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf & The Mighty Nein

Mollymauk resurrection au. Molly comes back to yell at his Level 20 friends.

Reccer says: I liked it!

A Reversal of Fate by FeralScribe (40580, Teen) Warnings: Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast

It is a role reversal between Molly and Caleb. So now Molly is the shy traumatized one and Caleb is the carnival amnesiac.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Hook, Line, Sinker by steelneena (5141, Teen) Warnings: Minor Character Death Pairings:

The Nein's arrival in Balenpost from Lucien's POV.

Reccer says: This fic has wonderful characterization, takes a crack theory and runs with it, and is just an al-together delicious read.

what the promised land would promise me by grayintogreen (3169, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

The Tombtakers' side of the intuit charge trap.

Reccer says: I liked it!

He Did the Goat Dance Very Well by Operafloozy (13529, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Five tales Kingsley hears about Lucien and Molly, and one time he tells his own.

Reccer says: I love a good Kingsley coming into his own story and coping with what other people say about his previous lives and how he takes that and runs with it. This is a more humorous take on that concept than most.

steady lodged between beast and god by Junkyard_Rose (6737, Mature) Warnings: general suicidal ideation Pairings:

Lucien survives the fall of Cognouza; Essek is left with custody.

Reccer says: A well-characterized "Lucien lives" fic that really gets into the trauma of surviving your swan song. Both Lucien and Essek are wonderfully written.

Autotomous, We by InsanitySilver (53978, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Years of high seas adventures pass, but for every ounce of freedom Kingsley Tealeaf gains, the nightmares grow in kind. With the help of the clerics, he sinks into his own mind to root out the source of the corruption, but, in that claustrophobic dream world, he finds unfortunate company—some more … palatable than others.

Reccer says: This fic has a wonderfully unique set piece, a lovely original backstory for Lucien, and vivid descriptions. It's an excellent tale of self-acceptance.

in the dream we are always posthumous by hanap (4219, Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Lucien & Kingsley Tealeaf & Mollymauk Tealeaf, The Mighty Nein & Kingsley Tealeaf

Kingsley reconciles with the people he was and the person he is now.

Reccer says: This is such a poignant exploration of identity through Kingsley and the Threeleafs. Gorgeously written and structured, it has stuck so vividly in my memory.

Crown of Cinderz by AkizaDragonBane (148365, Teen) Warnings: Slow Burn, Inspired by Tumblr, Alternate Universe, royal au, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Violence, Blood and Gore, Implied/Referenced Torture, Childhood Trauma, Attempted Murder, Attempted Kidnapping Pairings: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Ashton Greymoore/Mollymauk Tealeaf

Mysteriously appearing when Lucien Nonagon starts hunting his two brothers. It also happens Mollymauk is seeking refuge for him and his toddler brother. Coming to the throne of the most fearsome ruler in Wildmount. Will Caleb Widowgast take the risk and take them in is the real question?

Reccer says: I liked it!

Wine-Dark Sea by fruitzbat (161010, Mature) Warnings: This piece is pretty heavily focused on post-traumatic, post-apocalyptic and post-genocidal themes. Most of the POV characters are struggling with some form of PTSD. Pairings: Kingsley/Original Character, Fjord/Jester.

Kingsley has just freed himself from something extraordinarily traumatic and is trying to rebuild something after it -- the question is more *what*.

Reccer says: This is a sequel to another iconic Kingsley-centric fic that may have already made the list; unlike the first, this is slower in pace and focuses a lot more on the characterization. I love the way that, while it does have some focus on his relationship to a supporting character, it's entirely about exploring Kingsley (as a character)'s relationship to the notion of free choice. His character arc in this is really well done. The themes are quite heavy, but are explored very thoughtfully and with the weight that they deserve.

The Fathoms Below by Lady_King (6423, Teen) Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Pairings: Fjord & Jester Lavorre & Kingsley Tealeaf

while shipping a priority item, the crew of the Nein Heroez attract some attention from the deep...

Reccer says: An extremely well-written fight scene and aftermath that feels like it could slot perfectly into canon.

It’ll Be Over Soon by NKMLN (27,898, Mature) Warnings: Pairings: Fjord/Jester, Fjord & King, Jester & King, Caduceus & King, King & Molly & Lucien

When a trip to check on Bwualli goes wrong, Kingsley finds himself marooned in the Shattered Teeth, far from the reach of the gods. World history ensues.

Reccer says: This fic is my baby. I worked really hard on writing a good horror fic, only to be informed that i had not written a horror fic and had, in fact, written a tragedy. I put a lot of love into this. I hope you enjoy.

looking glass by Anubis_2701 (26721, Mature) Warnings: Pairings: Lucien & Mollymauk Tealeaf, The Mighty Nein & Mollymauk Tealeaf, Cree & Lucien, Lucien & The Mighty Nein

Lucien and Molly are twins. with a different back story

Reccer says: I liked it!

The Fool and The Soldier by mare_astrorum (123354, Mature) Warnings: Pairings: The Mighty Nein & Mollymauk Tealeaf

Mollymauk Tealeaf survived the Mighty Nein's encounter with the Iron Shepherds on Glory Run Road, but a short time later, a spirit began hunting him, claiming that he stole his body. This Campaign 2 AU begins with Episode 26 and continues on from there.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Let Your Bloated Brain Balloon and Float Away by R_Black (5074, Teen) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings: Lucien & Mollymauk Tealeaf

After Lucien dies for the second time, he gets to chat a bit with the special sliver of his soul that broke off after his first death.

Reccer says: I adored the descriptions and worldbuilding of this version of the afterlife, and both Lucien and Molly's characterizations felt true to form and uniquely distinct in the best way possible.

And then two recs each for these two fics!

the same twist in your heart as mine by hanap (6000,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Kingsley Tealeaf & Aldreda Tavelle Seriblo, Lucien & Aldreda Tavelle Seriblo, Kingsley Tealeaf & Essek Thelyss, Kingsley Tealeaf & Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast

In which Kingsley discovers that the last occupant of his body had a younger sister.

Reccer 1 says: I think the most compelling thing to come out of the Nine Eyes of Lucien was that Lucien had a sister living in Rexxentrum the entire time. I like this fic's characterization of Kingsley, and the soft and heartbreaking reunion. Reccer 2 says: One of the thoughts that loomed largest in my mind after finishing Nine Eyes was "What would happen if King learned about Aldreda?" and this fic is *such* an interesting, emotion-filled exploration of that. Things did not play out how I expected they would in the best of ways, which is all I'll say on that. Never enough Kingsley fic in the world and getting into his head and how he would handle things was so fascinating and enjoyable here. Also, Essek and Kingsley's friendship is to die for and an excellent side to this fic!

Crowned Teeth (Or, An Offering Revoked) by fruitzbat (130,570, Teen) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairings: Kingsley Tealeaf/Original Character

After a standard trip towards the Bay of Gifts goes horribly wrong, Kingsley finds himself trapped and vowing to himself to hold those responsible to the light -- betrayed, isolated, and far from home, Kingsley must carve out his own destiny and forge a legacy he can say is worthy of those who came before him.

Reccer 1 says: This fic is absolutely amazing on every level, taking a sentence worth of a setting and expanding it into a beautiful bunch of worldbuilding. The original characters are amazing, the lore is air-tight, and it reads very much like a canon novel I could pick up in a bookstore. There is romance towards the end, but I consider it more of a "story with kissing" as opposed to "kissing with story" and the relationships between King and his crew are all developed well. This is also the first fic in a trilogy and all of them are worth a read. Reccer 2 says: This has some of the best worldbuilding I’ve ever seen in a fic. The world of piracy and sailing Kingsley inhabits is painstakingly described and true to life, and the portrayal of Kingsley’s state of mind, his friends and his enemies here is on point. I highly recommend this whole series for anyone who likes to wonder what Kingsley’s time on the seas and eventual journey to become Plank King might have entailed.

If you liked this rec list, follow along for more! We'll be posting a new list with a new theme each Monday. Want to make your own recs? Check out the rules, and then use the form to submit!

Next week, we'll be reccing fic featuring any of the campaign's pets! This includes familiars, noncanonical pets, Trinket and any flame spirit monkey children that pop up from time to time.

If you're looking for some more, there's some good stuff in the critter genfic bingo tag! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

#critical role fic #critter genfic rec lists #the mighty nein #mollymauk tealeaf #lucient tavelle #kingsley tealeaf #cr fic recs

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cloverdaisies · 6 months

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[🗝️] cloverdaisies’ navigation: the garden

➵ feel free to explore the garden & stay as long as you like ! ♡

[ (* )-my personal favorites / SEARCH! [🔎] FIC LIST SO FAR….. ]

‘TOSS YOUR DIRTY SHOES IN MY WASHING MACHINE HEART’

➵ OT11 / MULTIPLE MEMBERS

nowhere to run ⊹ horror *

— if the landline rings, remember to answer the questions 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭. you don’t want to be locked in a house with a masked killer. a tbz au based on & inspired by (scream 1996).

black heart ⊹ thriller

— a mysterious trio rules the night, masked in balaclavas armed with whatever they could get their hands on… one favor can reveal a whole lot more than you expect. this is not your first visit to the black hearted universe.

… NEXT

96’ ➵ SANGYEON

insanity ⊹ angst

— “i want you to make the darkness disappear. i want to drive to crazy. my love is dangerous.”

how to build perfect humans ⊹ thriller / romance * 2.3k

— somewhere in the f u t u r e, undercover agents are trailing the government creation of microchips, inserted into the human brain to collect information in order create a generation of ai that will infiltrate and eventually eliminate all need for the last survivors of the human race. time is ticking…

… NEXT

97’ ➵ YOUNGHOON

gingerbread man ⊹˚. fluff / 0.8k

— “a late night stroll through the xmas markets with boyfriend!younghoon, carols being sung in the distance, the smell of freshly baked gingerbread men and children building snowmen nearby; the feeling of christmas.”

… NEXT

97’ ➵ HYUNJAE

hey chat! ⊹ fluff / streamer au

— two streamers get paired to win a competition between their fellow streamers! most popular man on the app, jae.mp3 ! gets paired with smaller streamer y.n.xi ! will they win? or will they not be able to work together at all? let’s see how they get on! <3

… NEXT

98’ ➵ JUYEON

slow it down ⊹ thriller

— hi (your name) you’ve been invited to play RACEFORTIME! do you accept yes or no? nerve au

nearly witches ⊹ angst

christmas lights ⊹ angst / fluff / 2k+

— the city was lonely, as they say home is where the heart is. as you return to see your childhood friends for the annual christmas get together, old faces resurface unhealed wounds that you wish you could rewind

series: genesis angst / fluff / post apocalyptic au

— ‘the world was destroyed by nuclear warfare, 177 years later the only survivors were those living in a large system of underground bunkers, with food supply running short and rationing proving no longer effective. the higher council decide to send the younger generation of juveniles to the surface to test the earth’s survivability.’

… NEXT

98’ ➵ KEVIN

earth to kevin ⊹ fluff / safe place au

— the boy that lives in outerspace has to make contact with the real world eventually, this short piece documents his small amount of contact with earth. when someone with a raincloud over their world collides with someone that lives in complete disassociation from reality.

… NEXT

98’ ➵ CHANHEE

# ur such an emo! ⊹˚. angst / fluff * / 4.1k+

— “a preppy boy meets his unconventional match in one of the school’s most hated emo’s. from lab partners to cleaning buddies: the events that caused social royalty to fall in love with someone from the very bottom of the high school food chain.”

… NEXT

98’ ➵ CHANGMIN

wish you were sober ⊹ angst / suggestive.

— “nineteen but you act 25 now. real sweet but i wish you were sober.” a ji changmin very lightly suggestive? angst? based on conan gray’s wish you were sober.

art class ⊹ fluff * 5k+

—“your crush on your art professor might be affecting your grades, he was just perfect but you’re just a student. how you accidentally fell in love with art class for the wrong reasons…”

… NEXT

00’ ➵ SUNWOO

media studies ⊹ fluff / diary au

— this document contains a letter to the pretty boy who sits quietly in the back of a poorly lit media studies classroom. ☆

fantasize ⊹ suggestive

— “i fantasize about it all the time if you were mine.. ♪” there was something about your coworker that made you want him, maybe it was his cherry red lips or every charming word that slipped from them - whatever it was, you couldn’t resist. ʚїɞ

piece of string ⊹ fluff

— dear sunwoo, autumn nights are always better when they’re spent with you. please don’t hide yourself, you know you’re safe with me.

… NEXT

00’ ➵ ERIC

trouble to me ⊹ suggestive ish

— should’ve known he was a bad guy, maybe all the red flags would be a good sign? are you really gonna let eric sohn take you on a test drive?

how to survive senior year ⊹˚. fluff * 5k+

— a chaotic how to guide on surviving high school with an 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 crush on the skater boy with the locker next to urs.

COMING SOON…

97’ ➵ JACOB

𝗈𝗈𝗉𝗌 ! 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝖾𝗍!

99’ ➵ HAKNYEON

𝗈𝗈𝗉𝗌 ! 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗁𝖺𝗌 𝖻𝖾𝖾𝗇 𝗉𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝖾𝗍!

‘I KNOW WHO YOU PRETEND I AM’

I KNOW.. WHO YOU PRETEND I AM’

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junebugtwin · 1 year

Text

fun little Worm ocs I've got stuck in my head (under the cut because this post ended up longer than I thought it would be):

Kathline 'Katie' Darner aka: WYSLMIIWAW (pronounced like 'wise-limm-wah') a nineteen year old runaway and member of 'The Party Crashers' a small and relatively informal rouge group that steals from the rich/ morally questionable and gives to the poor. (in this case they are The Poor but semantics) The party crashers prefer to target villain groups or cops- which makes them pretty much villains in the eyes of the law, though other villain groups find that opinion controversial.

Her power is that she can 'transform' into a worm (in reality its more like her consciousness switches into that of a worm that has been teleported where she was and her body has been teleported to another dimension in a location where it is physically safe, but she doesn't know that). It happens instantaneously and can be undone instantaneously, which gives her a surprising amount of movement and agility.

She can use her powers to dodge hits, survive falls she wouldn't as a human, sneak into places, hide, or dig through the ground. She perceives the world similar to how she might if her human body was made tiny, as though she has somehow retained her human senses- though they are fuzzy and tend to 'lag' a half second or so behind reality.

If she dies as a worm she wakes up in her human body in another universe. She does not know this because she has assumed (fairly) that dying as a worm would just kill her like normal.

Her name is a acronym, the full title is 'Would You Still Love Me If I Was A Worm'- a truly stupid name made up by her girlfriend that she went along with. They have not bothered to explain it to the press or anyone outside of their group- which, hilariously combining with the fact that the 'worm' aspect of Katies powers is mostly unknown- leaves her as a mysterious figure with an annoyingly instant mover power.

Katie mostly stays quiet in costume, but as a civilian she's relaxed and pleasant to be around, if not incredibly easy to push over and boss around.

Maxine 'Max' Arbor aka: Hot Wheels- An eighteen year old girl who lives with her grandparents and barely passed highschool. She's one of the other members of 'The Party Crashers' and girlfriend to Katie.

At fourteen she was in a bad accident and became permanently disabled, resulting in her using a wheelchair to get around, among other chronic pains and annoyances. She does not let this stop her from being an active member of a semi-criminal gang of hooligans, though maybe it should honestly.

Her power allows her to use as much force as the most powerful thing to impact her (ever) into any movement she does with her body. She can not tone this power down- if it's on it's all the way on. This would not be so disasterous except the most powerful thing to hit her was a bus.

Max's physical body is protected from the after effects of punching/shoving things with the force of a bus, but it does not protect her immedate surroundings, the floor, or her wheel chair.

This is unfortunate because she definitely cannot pay for multiple wheelchairs, and thus uses her thievery as an income to replace her mobility aid which she destroyed via her job as a thief. It's a self perpetuating cycle that she doesn't really like thinking about.

Max has obvious brute powers, and can move extremely fast when necessary- however she's not so great at the steering or stopping part of things.

She's naturally impulsive, quick to anger and quick to forgive and a generally kind hearted person when she remembers to be one.

Rose Winters- A nine year old girl who doesn't have a cape identity because she doesn't really consider herself one and hasn't stopped to think too hard about things.

Rose is extremely intelligent for her age, in part because of her powers, and in part because her parental situation is neglectful enough that it borders on abusive and she's sort of had to learn how to fend for herself.

She has a tinker power in a round about way, she makes little 'statues' out of mud, rocks, grass, leaves and other natural items- with each ingredients adding different abilities or quirks to the statue as she goes. The location the items were found in, the condition they are in, the order they are added to her creations, even her emotions toward said object all effect the final product even if only slightly.

These creatures are made animate when she considers them 'done' and are friendly towards her, with the problem solving skills of maybe a particularly smart dog. She can make them at any size, but it's quite hard to make them overly big without it collapsing in on itself.

Each statue has it's own simple personality, and some work together better or worse than others. Depending on what she put into them they can have a huge range of abilities and properties, such as blending into the background, being hot to the touch, shooting gravel, making extremely loud sounds, seeing in the dark, or giving out a mild electric shock.

Rose is more interested in collecting, making and testing out her statues than the local cape scene but she has accidentally caused some chaos- her creatures are free to roam where they want and not every one takes seeing what is obviously some ones minion wandering around their turf very well.

I do have more characters, including the rest of the members of The Party Crashers, but this post is already waaay longer than I thought it would be and it's getting late. Feel free to ask me any questions/clarification about these guys, I'm always down to talk about ocs.

#I love them all dearly but they are all stupid in slightly different ways #i haven't classified any of them yet but I'm really not great at doing that anyway lol #feel free to do so if you'd like! I'd love to see what other people think they would be rated as #worm #parahumans #parahuman oc

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justkending · 2 years

Text

Moral of the Story. Chapter 20.

Series Summary: Marrying too young out of highschool leads to a naive and failed marriage. Now 10 years later, word comes that the divorce was never actually completed. Bucky and Y/N have to come back together after all these years to settle what wasn’t all those years back. Passive attitudes, miscommunicated endings, and reminiscing of old loves and lives all comes back for the two.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N

Word Count: 1900+

A/N: It’s back!! I’ve finally sat down and got another chapter out! I think there may be one to two more chapters for this series. Sorry it’s shorter, but I promise it’s works. Love you all and sorry for my long leave of absence!

Chapter Nineteen:

The rest of the food truck festivities were fun and lively. The group tested out new foods and exchanged when the flavor wasn’t right for one or the other. Conversations and old banter was had.

Overall it was a great way to end the week with each other.

However the night did have to end. The girls had school the next day and Bucky and Steve had work. Then of course, it was Y/N’s last full day making tomorrow mainly a travel day.

When the girls returned home, Tom and Sherri did a movie night like old times when they would spend time in the mountain house.

Sherri would make the popcorn. Tom would create a small fort on the floor for the girls to lay on, while he and Sherri took the couch behind them. Of course the stash of M&M’s for special nights like this were scattered throughout the freshly popped corn in a big bowl between Chloe and Y/N.

And lastly, the movie that both families bonded over when first meeting. Clue.

They were a murder mystery family. Tom had shown Y/N the I Survived series when he discovered it and she introduced him to criminal minds.

On Tom and Sherri’s first date, the topic of an old haunted building they were passing on their walk brought up and old mob murder. Of course after that, the conversation rarely strayed from the little knowledgeable facts about different cases and serial killers. The two instantly hit it off with an entertaining little interest.

Then of course with only a DVD and VHS player at the cabin, Clue from 1985 was a family favorite and eventual tradition.

_____________________

The next morning, Y/N got up early wanting to soak up every last minute she had in her childhood home. Around 6:30 Chloe came downstairs and was about to make breakfast when she saw Y/N made a bowl of oatmeal for the two.

A smile on her face as Y/N grinned offering the bowl with freshly cut fruit and almonds scattering the top.

“You’re 100% positive you have to go back so soon?” Chloe asked, taking the dish.

“No one is 100% anything. But… This is about 99% though. I’ve missed more work this week than I have my entire time working there I’m pretty sure,” Y/N shrugged, grabbing a spoon and handing it off. “But I promise I’m going to make more of an effort to come out here more. I’ve seen just how much I’ve missed from making work one of my top priorities. I don’t care for it much.”

“I guess I can come to terms with that…” Chloe sighed. “But I’m not 100%.”

Y/N chuckled at the remark and Chloe and her had one last sister hang out session before Chloe packed and left for school.

Thomas was the next to come in, going straight for the coffee maker which Y/N had already had a pot going.

“You’re up earlier than I expected.”

“I wanted to say bye to Chloe before she left. That and I couldn't sleep much knowing today is going to be mainly a travel day.”

“Understandable,” Thomas nodded, pouring the near to black liquid in his cup before turning, blowing on it, and taking a sip. “Hmmm, that’s a good pot.”

“Thanks. I was in charge of the coffee pot for the beginning of our business and I guess I mastered putting coffee grounds into a filter,” she laughed.

“Don’t tell Sherri I said this, but sometimes she waters it down too much. I don’t say anything though.”

“Smart move on your end.”

There was a moment of silence as the two quietly enjoyed their cup of joe and the peace that was the early morning in Brooklyn.

“What time is your flight?”

“Noon. I should be back in California by eight tonight,” she sighed and a look of heartache flitted across her face.

“You don’t sound too enthused about that. Is it because it’ll be late or…” he left room for her to fill in the details.

She smiled and looked up at him knowing he knew exactly what she was thinking.

“I miss it here,” she said softly.

“We miss you here too,” he smiled back, walking up to the counter opposite of her. “But there are always flights available. And lucky for you, you have Natasha who knows how to score a sweet deal in the airline business.”

“Yeah,” she hummed, knowing it may have sounded that easy, but realistically it wasn’t.

“Don’t worry, Bug. We will make it work. We always do,” he walked around pulling her into a side hug.

“I know,” she smiled sadly this time, burrowing into her side.

_________________________

Since all her friends in Brooklyn were at work, she wasn’t able to say bye in person, so she sent a quick text on the ride to the airport saying she hoped to be back in town soon to see them. And that they were more than welcome to come visit and stay in her guest room in L.A. if need be.

The only person she was hesitant to text was Bucky. Sure they had made up quite a bit for a week of reconnecting, but something felt weird still about texting him goodbye.

So she continued to procrastinate on it, not sure how to send that text.

Sherri and Thomas dropped Y/N off at the airport, said their goodbyes, gave long and tearful hugs, and she was on her way to security.

The line was long as expected, but luckily she got in early to prepare for the traffic.

She had moved about three steps since getting in line when she heard a shouting down the way.

“Y/N!”

She furrowed her eyebrows. Did she hear it right?

“Y/N!”

There must have been another person with her name.

“Everest!”

Ok, very unlikely that someone went by that.

She turned, trying to peer over the tall men and women in line, but the place was too crowded to see anyone.

But the voice got closer.

“Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry!”

“Buck?” she mumbled, standing on her tiptoes seeing a hint on dark brown shaggy hair maneuvering through people.

“I promise I’m not trying to cut. I don’t even have a flight. I’m just trying to get to someone.”

There were a few groans and passive okays as they allowed him through. About 5 people back, she saw his face clearly.

“Bucky? What the hell?” she said confused, but couldn’t hold back the small start of a smile on her lips.

“Hey!” he shouted happy to finally see her. “Excuse me,” he said a few more times, moving through the crowd.

“Watch it man,” an angry business man grunted.

“Sorry!” he apologized before coming face to face with Y/N. “Hey.” His words were out of breath, but the nervous smile on his face showed he didn’t regret his actions.

“Hey,” she chuckled back.

No words were muttered for the next few seconds and Y/N shook her head trying to come up with a reason for this surprise.

“I wanted to say bye before you left,” he said, slightly still breathless. Unlikely from the urgency and more from the nerves.

“Is that so?” she smirked.

“I’m now realizing this may have been a touch of a stretch,” he laughed under his breath uncomfortably while looking around at the somewhat frustrated travelers he had just pushed his way through.

“Maybe a touch,” she laughed.

“It’s also starting to look a lot more cliche than I was planning on it to…”

“Definitely more than a touch on that one,” she nodded, looking back and seeing the line had moved again.

Bucky and her both stepped forward with it.

“I thought I would catch you before you left, but when I got to your house, no one answered, so I put two and two together and realized you were probably already here. At first, I was just going to walk away and send you a text, but… I don’t know. Didn’t feel right,” he shrugged slightly.

“Running through a crowd of strangers impatiently waiting to go through security in a busy airport did seem right though?” she grinned in a sassy manner.

He couldn’t help the laugh that came out hearing just how ridiculous it sounded put into words now.

“Guess so.” He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously.

Another long pause as the awkwardness of the situation set in. He was there now, but he didn’t plan this far.

“So…” Y/N mumbled, fidgeting with her suitcase.

“Right. Well I guess I just came here to say bye really…”

“Ok,” she nodded. “Bye then?” A part of her was pushing her to make the move, but being still in shock at the whole situation, she wasn’t sure what move that was.

Lucky for her, he fell into his impulse and pulled her into a hug.

She hesitated at first, mainly in surprise, but eventually hugged him back tightly.

It wasn’t a normal farewell hug either. It was one full of apologies, sorrow, and forgiveness. They held onto each other for a while soaking in the nostalgia of what their relationship used to feel like until the man behind him cleared his throat. The line had moved and reality set back in that there were at least 50 people behind them waiting to carry on with their day.

Bucky pulled back and looked down at her as they moved with the line some more.

“Bye I guess,” he said softly.

“Bye Barnes,” she smiled.

They held eye contact for a bit before Bucky spilled his next question.

“You’ll come back to visit more, right?”

She grinned at the childlike hope in his inquiry.

“Of course.”

“Good. I know a lot of people are going to want to see you again,” he nodded, stepping back some.

“You on that list Barnes?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“Would you be ok with that?” he asked cautiously.

“More than ok with it,” she replied.

“Then add me to it,” he beamed.

“Next!”

How she got to the front of the line already, she wasn’t sure, but it was time.

“Until next time, Everest,” he smiled, stepping out of line and walking backwards.

“Until next time,” she saluted. “Bye Bucky.”

There it was. The name and connection they used to have was back.

He wasn’t able to turn and walk away until she was long gone through the security line and he could no longer see her.

It looked better and better with how things were going to work out for the two now.

Tags are closed for this series. Please turn on notifications if you would like updates:)

Moral of the Story Taglist:

@taylormobley @ximaginx @vicmc624 @leyannrae @lonerlovescompany @jessyballet @angstysebfan @tita127 @youcanbethebeauty @im-a-light-child @alyssahowden @studiesinspanish @natyvwe @rebekahdawkins @fanfictionjunkie1112 @millennial-teenybopper @scotlandasshole @aquariusbarnes @shinykoalacat @wayward-river @buckyswillows @natdrunk @iloveangstposts @fanngirl19 @seybox

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx @death-unbecomes-you @heyiamthatbitch @lizzymacy555 @srrymydood @xa-dia @redhairedfeistynerd @morganclaire4 @connie326 @captain-asguard @mollygetssherlockcoffee @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses @livstilinski @basicallylool

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon @lauravicente @kakakatey @traceyaudette @notyourtypicalrose @laneygthememequeen @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @sandlee44 @thorne93 @thefaithfulwriter1 @essie1876 @greyeyedsmile14 @capsiclehan @xostephanie @averyrogers83 @awesomenursingstudent @gh0stgurl @cs-please @torayuri777 @jjlevin @rainbowkisses31 @anise-d-castle6 @deannotmoose @their-bibliophile @kitkatd7 @willowbleedsonpaper @mariaenchanted @snffbeebee @couldabeenamermaid @rebekahdawkins @alyispunk

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker @charmedbysarge @jbarness @bellamy-barnes @katiaw2 @aikeia @stopjustlovethemcu

#moral of the story #justkending moral of the story #bucky barnes x highschool sweetheart #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes marvel #bucky buchanan #bucky barnes series avenger #bucky barnes series au #bucky barnes series #justkending

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eggcatsreads · 8 months

Text

August Reading Wrap-Up

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Favorite Read of the Month:

The Bone Season (10th Anniversary Special Edition) by Samantha Shannon (GR review)

The year is 2059. Nineteen-year-old Paige Mahoney is working in the criminal underworld of Scion London, based at Seven Dials, employed by a man named Jaxon Hall. For Paige is a dreamwalker, a clairvoyant and, in the world of Scion, she commits treason simply by breathing. Attacked, drugged and kidnapped, Paige is transported to Oxford – a city kept secret for two hundred years, controlled by a powerful, otherworldly race. Paige is assigned to Warden, a Rephaite with mysterious motives. But if Paige wants to regain her freedom she must allow herself to be nurtured in this prison where she is meant to die.

The Bone Season is a PHENEMONAL series. And if you've read it - then I suggest a reread for the anniversary edition. If you haven't - pick up this version. If you tried reading it, or didn't like it (assuming your issues weren't simply only the plot/world/etc) please give it a second chance with this version. The 10th anniversary edition isn't simply a rewrap of the series - it's an intense edit and revision that takes the same story - but uses Samantha Shannon's current prowess as a writer that she hadn't developed yet for her debut novel. Many MANY things are edited, or removed, or reworked to the point that even though I knew how things were going, since I've already read TBS, I even got a few pleasant surprises. The character dynamics are smoother, and I loved Paige and Warden even more in this edition than I originally did, somehow.

I loved TBS when I first read it last year - but I can also readily admit to some issues with the format and storytelling (and, to her credit, so does SamShan in her blurb at the end for reasoning for the revisions). This edition could NEVER be described as "info-dumping" at you, or being choppy at places - it's such a breath of fresh air it made me love the series all over again and become excited for book 5. I, personally, will be purchasing the revised editions of books 2-4 as well - and these will be edited as well, but more so to bring them in line with any changes present in TBS10E.

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Other Five Star Reads:

She Who Became the Sun, He Who Drowned the World by Shelly Parker-Chan

In 1345, China lies under harsh Mongol rule. When the Zhu family’s eighth-born son, Zhu Chongba, is given a fate of greatness, everyone is mystified as to how it will come to pass. When a bandit attack orphans the two children, though, it is Zhu Chongba who succumbs to despair and dies. Desperate to escape her own fated death, the girl uses her brother's identity to enter a monastery as a young male novice. There, propelled by her burning desire to survive, Zhu learns she is capable of doing whatever it takes, no matter how callous, to stay hidden from her fate.

I reread She Who Became the Sun so I could read Drowned while not forgetting anything, and somehow I loved Sun even more the first time. This story is intense, it's dark, and yet the characters really speak to you. I liked how even the enemies in this book are given their own narratives and there are no clear lines for right and wrong. If you liked The Poppy War then I cannot suggest this duology enough.

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Epic of Helinthia by MJ Pankey (GR review)

When a madman seized the throne, the gods on Olympus fell silent, and the island of Helinthia withered into decay... Dargos is sure these events are no coincidence and convinces Kelric and Gadnor to join him in a rebellion against the king, hoping to incur favor with the gods and restore prosperity to their ravaged lands. Turmoil follows their footsteps, and they're confronted with the terrifying truth that not all who dwell on Olympus want the island to recover, and some will stop at nothing to ensure Helinthia spirals deeper into chaos.

Do you like stories of Greek myths, and retellings of those myths? Does a part of you wish you didn't already know EVERYTHNG about them, so that nothing is a real surprise to you and sometimes you have to confront interpretations you don't agree with? READ THIS. READ IT. This book felt like reading a Greek myth I wasn't aware of, and yet it felt familiar. The mythos of Helinthia, a goddess to an island that neither actually exist, still fit so perfectly into the mythology that it simply felt like I just didn't know this story. That I missed an epic of Homer somewhere.

This book comes out in October, and I highly suggest adding it to your TBR and/or pre-ordering it.

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Vampires of El Norte by Isabel Canas

As the daughter of a rancher in 1840s Mexico, Nena knows a thing or two about monsters—her home has long been threatened by tensions with Anglo settlers from the north. But something more sinister lurks near the ranch at night, something that drains men of their blood and leaves them for dead.

Together We Rot by Skyla Arndt (GR review)

Wil Greene's mom has been missing for over a year, and the police are ready to call the case closed--they claim she skipped town and you can't find a woman who wants to disappear. But she knows her mom wouldn't just leave...and she knows the family of her former best friend, Elwood Clarke, has something to do with it.

Before the Devil Knows You're Here by Autumn Krause (GR review)

1836. As Catalina sets plans to ensure their survival, a strange man appears—a man covered in bark, leaves growing from his head, and sap dripping from his eyes. Before Catalina can stop him, he scoops Jose Luis up and disappears. Along the way she finds help from a young Paul Bunyan, whose life has also been changed by the Man of Sap. As they travel deeper into the Northwoods, they uncover more of the Man of Sap’s history and the connections he and Catalina share, giving her the power to change his life, or end it.

This book comes out in October, and I highly recommend it. There's signed and personalized books if you check the author's Instagram.

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Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

Seven years ago, the Atargatis set off on a voyage to the Mariana Trench to film a “mockumentary” bringing to life ancient sea creatures of legend. It was lost at sea with all hands. Now, a new crew has been assembled. For the ambitious young scientist Victoria Stewart this is a voyage to uncover the fate of the sister she lost.

EVIL KILLER MERMAIDS!!! KILLER MERMAID HORROR!! I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE THIS BUT IF YOU LOVE AQUATIC HORROR, READ THIS!!!

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Maeve Fly by CJ Leede

By day, Maeve Fly works at the happiest place in the world as every child’s favorite ice princess. By the neon night glow of the Sunset Strip, Maeve haunts the dive bars with a drink in one hand and a book in the other, imitating her misanthropic literary heroes. Maeve ditches her discontented act and tries on a new persona, inspired by the pages of American Psycho. Step aside Patrick Bateman, it’s Maeve’s turn with the knife.

Rest of Books Read Under the Cut:

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Art of Prophecy, The Art of Destiny by Wesley Chu

It has been foretold: A child will rise to defeat the Eternal Khan, a cruel immortal god-king, and save the kingdom. The hero: Jian, who has been raised since birth in luxury and splendor, celebrated before he has won a single battle. But the prophecy was wrong.

The Devil Makes Three by Tori Bovalino

Tess Matheson finds herself working all summer at her boarding school library, shelving books and dealing with the intolerable patrons. The worst of them is Eliot Birch: snide, privileged, and constantly requesting forbidden grimoires. After a bargain with Eliot leads to the discovery of an ancient book in the library's grimoire collection, the pair accidentally unleash a book-bound demon.

She is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran

When Jade Nguyen arrives in Vietnam for a visit with her estranged father, she has one goal: survive five weeks pretending to be a happy family in the French colonial house Ba is restoring. But the house has other plans. Night after night, Jade wakes up paralyzed. Jade can’t ignore the ghost of the beautiful bride who leaves her cryptic warnings: Don’t eat.

Lone Women by Victor Lavalle

Adelaide Henry carries an enormous steamer trunk with her wherever she goes. It’s locked at all times. Because when the trunk opens, people around Adelaide start to disappear.

Graveyard of Lost Children by Katrina Monroe

At four months old, Olivia Dahl was almost murdered. Driven by haunting visions, her mother became obsessed with the idea that Olivia was a changeling, and that the only way to get her real baby back was to make a trade with the "dead women" living at the bottom of the well. Now Olivia is ready to give birth to a daughter of her own…and for the first time, she hears the women whispering.

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Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

The Hexologists by Josiah Banecroft (GR review)

The Hexologists, Iz and Warren Wilby, are quite accustomed to helping desperate clients with the bugbears of city life. But when they are approached by the royal secretary, the Wilbies soon find themselves embroiled in a mystery that could very well see the nation turned on its head.

Athena's Child by Hannah Lynn (GR review)

Gifted and burdened with stunning beauty, young Medusa seeks sanctuary with the Goddess Athena. But when she catches the eye of the lecherous but mighty Poseidon, she is beyond protection. Powerful men rarely answer for their actions, after all.

Brother by Ania Ahlborn (GR review)

The Morrows keep to themselves, and it’s served them well so far. When girls go missing off the side of the highway, the cops don’t knock on their door. Which is a good thing, seeing as to what’s buried in the Morrows’ backyard. But nineteen-year-old Michael Morrow isn’t like the rest of his family. When he meets Alice, a pretty girl working at a record shop in the small nearby town of Dahlia, he’s immediately smitten. But his brother, Rebel, is all too eager to remind Michael of his place…

Listen. Call me a fucked up monster all you like, but I thought this book was kind of boring and predictable. The synopsis gives it entirely away, there's no real twists or surprises (I mean, there are, but they never change the tone of the book, if you know what I mean? Like, okay it's a twist, but it didn't change anything from what I assumed this book would be) and the characters remain static the entire novel. Another reviewer called it tame considering the trigger warnings, and I have to agree.

-----------------------

Books read so far this year: 101

How I rate books.

#books #bookblr #reading wrap up 2023 #reading wrap up #august #august 2023 #long post

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writer59january13 · 1 year

Text

Ah... tis nothing greater than...

malfunctioning heater on that brisk winter day recorded here as proof positive regarding following reasonable rhyme.

While scrolling thru

poems crafted yesteryear, I chanced to jog my memory where

there

occurred power outage necessitated

more than divine intervention yielded courtesy effort

vis a vis wing and prayer

while yours truly kept burrowed

under blankets within

Highland Manor lair

squirting wd-40 into

ears, mouth, and nostrils

failed to activate, lubricate, and remediate

sluggish primary cerebral cog and gear

subjected to bitter cold apartment air.

Thee particular date being December twenty eighth, two thousand nineteen, (three years ago from today), I saith

the then Jack of all trades maintenance technician Kevin Blank said he would notify HVAC expert in good faith,

yet to compliment clangorous din... I called upon the ghost of Marley's wraith.

Thus despite compressor issuing cacophonous, deafening, ear splitting noise clattering din louder than convention of reindeer - doubled as all boys

(choir) followed by cavalcade of Santa Claus, who employed, the missus of course with equipoise, and countless elves pressed for service mending broken brand new toys.

Why... yes twas during most recent brutal bitter cold spell

methought, yours truly got sent, where absolute zero temperature more frigid than when hell froze over

of course, I felt like human popsicle

management didn't give a lick, no matter yours truly gave rebel yell

Billy me you, I immediately yearned (some months back) for April

May, June... some tell

tale sign to alleviate pell mell

bone crushing polar vortex preserved frozen awful botox smile impossible mission to quell, nor avoid frostbite to deep freeze (frieze) every cell;

millenniums later archeologists

discovered embalmed human

once preserved in ice despite climate changed dystopian future

found me thawed out body

reason to sing and kvell.

Forsooth mindlessly jabbering away

jaw frenziedly attempting to convey

how this schlemiel

procrastinated and did delay,

NOT taking page from

playbook of Dick Proenneke

without possessing an iota of survival skills to live alone in the wilderness such cockamimi half cocked notion

would fly in the face

of sense and sensibility

and I a creature of comfort

best be war re: not game

to warm cockles and muscles

loosely translated restrained foray

toward forbidding verboten terrain (exalting in bosom of paramour) think fifty shades of gray

kindling like ice cold tinder thawing

frigid celibate stasis,

an unnatural rut versus making whoopie

to generate body heat hooray,

but clothes minded chap

even entertaining bacchanalian melee

alien fantasy unrecognizable

yielded Abort, Retry, Fail?

– nay

synonymous to when yours truly

adopted Presbyterian sacred ministerial

he pledged allegiance linkedin

and jumpstarting career

parallel to the late Mister Rogers,

his neighborhood of make-believe

immune to weather related events,

thus forever okay,

nevertheless expressed gratitude

confessed, I unconsciously did (as iterated earlier) pray

while suspended animation did stay

slowing or stopping of biological function

physiological capabilities unpitted and preserved - yea.

Hence today upon being and getting woke, (where central heater set at a comfortable sixty five degrees fahrenheit)

feeling like I slept forever and a day - no joke

most certainly well rested constitution; dreams did evoke

intensely scrutinizing

Scottish matted cognomen,

chilled wren, and whim hen folk,

who appeared out of this

dreamy Maxfield Parrish world

hybridized, mutated,

and segued into rorschach Roanoke

Island mystery

disappearance smooth

as glass skin cloak immune against ultraviolet rays ordinarily causing skin cancer,

their attenuated limbs

(ala El Greco) strong as oak

versatile to prod

analogous to pig in a poke,

whereby superior petsmart doggone noggin could invoke telepathic communication interestingly enough issuing smoke

signals, whenever danger present

and capable to disappear

as if doing breast stroke,

thus concludes trademark

discombobulated poetic anecdote

of one garden variety generic bloke.

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sikapa1345-23 · 1 year

Text

You didn't ask but here is the first chapter of mystery of the pretend. You find can the link it in my intro.

I realised that as time goes by her scares become more and more dangerous life-threatening even, I thought before that it was crazy, but now it feels real, it feels like it's happening.

and soon enough maybe she may get what she's seeking from me, but I'm never gonna give up, I can't leave henry and Micheal behind, they mean too much to me, and I mean too much to them, so I have to stay alive, but every time I get this mindset, her words cut through me like a machete.

'you are weak'

'you don't stand a chance against me'

'I will have my revenge'

her words made me wonder if I ever had a past life and what I did in that past life to hurt her so badly that even until now she seeks revenge, yet at the end of the day I'm still left confused because she says she wants my body but the very next day she wants to destroy this same body that she desires.

as time goes by, I get more feeble thinner and even more afraid than I was before.

I have tried to seek help but soon I learned that no one can help me I either give her what she wants or I keep fighting, even so, I believe that if I go on any longer time will catch up to me, and she will catch to me, thus I make the best of every moment I have with Henry or Micheal.

it's the best I could do for the limited days I had.

because of her, I became fond of the dark, why? because if I don't see her I can't be scared, that was the only benefit, apart from that everything else is hard to do, it's hard to run when I feel her creeping up onto me.

it's hard to survive, so much so that I ended up in a hospital this time, with a broken arm.

as time goes by, written by Leah sarsha Jones.

I placed my book down after writing what seemed like the hardest thing I have ever written in my diary, maybe because it's true, still, I don't like to admit it even to myself, Micheal came inside the room with my breakfast in hand alongside him was a nurse and henry.

"happy birthday Leah" they all yelled slightly, I almost forgot it was my birthday today, I grew to hate my birthday ever since she made me her victim, she would throw a party of her own a party to kill me, it gets worse every year, the only reason I'm happy today is that I survived.

apart from that, there's nothing to celebrate.

the higher the age the more I get tortured, thus I can't truly celebrate, I would be celebrating my lamentations.

"aren't you happy?, you are nineteen today," Henry said as he sat on a chair next to me, I looked down at my fingers the ones I was fidgeting, "I would if I wasn't in a hospital" I replied lowly, henry nodded, there wasn't much to say, "well you don't have to celebrate but can you at least eat?" Micheal said.

"can I be left alone?" I asked the nurse standing beside Micheal, she placed her hand on her hips, "do you promise to eat this time?" I nodded, I lost my appetite for a while but the breakfast looked amazing, I felt hungry after a long time of forcing myself to eat, and ending up vomiting it all out.

she sighed, "alright, I trust you but I will come back here in five minutes" she gestured for the two boys to follow her outside, I looked at my food as a small genuine smile grew on my face, for the first time in a long time I felt like eating.

______

Micheal opened the door for me as we were leaving the hospital, henry left thirty minutes ago, because he had school work, though I wished that he had stayed a bit longer, I didn't want to be the reason he failed our final exam.

"How are you feeling?" I sighed, "isn't it obvious" I sat down and shut the car door rather harshly, I didn't mean to lay my anger and disappointment on him, however, I had no one to vent to, I was on my own, and it just felt frustrating, frustrating not telling anyone about what I was going through.

angering that it had to be me, disappointing because whatever I try fails, it's endless torture, that I got myself into, and now I needed so badly to get myself out, my arm hurt but my heart hurt more.

I didn't want to lose Micheal but the moment the car set on the road, a familiar yet painful feeling hit me right where it hurt the most, that's when I realised that there wasn't much time left for me, I held my heart tightly as tears stained my cheeks.

it felt like I was losing both myself and my brother, "no-no stop" with my lost vision I tried my hardest to protect him, yet no matter how much I tried I didn't find him, my legs fell on hard Rocks, only then did I realise that I wasn't in the car any more, "WEAK HUMAN GIVE ME WANT I WANT" my ear drums broke due to her high pitched howl.

I cried out in pain as blood slid down my ears, I fell to the ground my head hitting a rock before reality hit harder, I found myself in the car in our garage, I looked at Micheal who had tear-stained cheeks, "are you okay?" he asked his lips trembling with fear and shock, "....yes yes I'm fine don't worry!" I answered in a panicked voice.

I held him by the shoulders slowly, and in a more calm tone I reassured him, "I'm fine.... you're fine, okay?"

we went inside after some time of just embracing one another in the car, and dinner was rather bitter than sweet, if she was going to involve my loved ones then what was I to do?

again after I wanted to eat, I lost my appetite, thinking about how she could easily take him away from me but decided to mess with my head and make me suffer pre-death of my brother once in my room I vomited all the food I ate.

I clinched to the toilet as tight as I could, as the food came out harshly, tears didn't hesitate to sprout out of my eyes heavy, mucus-filled my Nostrils making it hard to breathe, leaving the only choice to breath through my mouth, one that was letting even the food I ate from the hospital come out, I held the toilet tighter realising that I was losing my consciousness.

due to the lack of air I forced the mucus out of my Nostrils, somehow causing me to choke, I hit my back trying to get whatever it was out, but as I slowly lost my consciousness I had no hope of getting it out, so I tried swallowing it, yet nothing I tried worked.

and just as I thought I was about to pass out it came out, making all the others come out fast and painful after I finished my body fell weak on the floor, my head turned to my open bathroom door, there saw I Micheal shocked and scared, my eyes became heavy therefore I couldn't keep them open for any while longer.

before losing consciousness I tried to get at least one word out, "h-he-lp I mustered enough strength to say before everything went black.

Thank you for reading

Book cover by hadassah yaa sikapa smart.

Story by hadassah yaa sikapa smart.

Published in August 1st and on-going.

Genre of story: horror mystery thriller.

Chapters 12345678-

Amount of words 10.965

Only one review.

On webnovel and tumblr.

Not for the public domain.

Link to story in my intro.

Sikapa smart.

#books & libraries #bookworm #writer tumblr #novelty #writers #horror #mystery novel #story writing #christian living #christian motivation #writerblr #writing #must read #read and interact #reading #mysterythriller #mystery of the pretend

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ash-and-books · 1 year

Photo

Rating: 1/5

Book Blurb: Sarah J. Maas meets A Deadly Education in A.M. Strickland's lush, queer YA dark fantasy novel. In becoming a vampire, I’m less than a girl. And more. Or maybe I’m becoming what I always have been, deep inside. A blade. When nineteen-year-old Fin volunteers to take her secret love's place in their village's Finding, she is terrified. Those who are chosen at the Finding are whisked away to Castle Courtsheart, a vampire school where human students either succeed and become vampires, fail and spend the rest of their lives as human thralls...or they don't survive long enough to become either. Fin is determined to forge a different path: learn how to kill the undead and get revenge for her mother, who was taken by the vampires years ago. But Courtsheart is as captivating as it is deadly, and Fin is quickly swept up in her new world and its inhabitants - particularly Gavron, her handsome and hostile vampire maker, whose blood is nothing short of intoxicating. As Fin begins to discover new aspects of her own identity and test her newfound powers, she stumbles across a string of murders that may be connected to a larger ritual - one with potentially lethal consequences for vampires and humans alike. Fin must uncover the truth and find the killer before she loses her life...or betrays her own heart. Court of the Undying Seasons is a deliciously dark romantic novel and a pitch perfect modern take on classic vampire tropes.

Review:

A human girl forced to become a vampire apprentice in a world in which humans are taken into the court of vampires and trained to become part of one of the five different houses and eventually a vampire themself. Fin is a 19 year old who volunteers in the place of their crush when vampires come to select the human that would be taken back to Castle Courtsheart, a vampire school where human students study and train to become vampires or fail and end up as human thralls... or get killed off. Fin absolutely hates vampires but thinks what shes doing is to save her crush... only to realize that she has been sorely mistaken. Fin’s one mission now is to learn how to kill vampires and get revenge for her mother who was taken years ago by vampires. Yet Fin finds herself barely surviving due to not only her stubbornness over being forced to study to become a vampire but her complicated relationship and feelings for her handsome and hostile vampire maker Gavin. It doesn’t help that there is a killer killing off humans from each house and Fin is determined to find out who it is... but something much darker is going on and a ritual is underfoot. She’ll have to hone her skills and unravel the secrets of the courts if she wants to make it out alive. I adored the author’s previous books, in fact, they were both 5 stars from me, and I was excited to read this one but it fell flat and completely missed the mark for me. It had everything I would normally love: vampires, queer individuals, court/academia setting, enemies to lovers, murder mystery... and I still like it. Fin is irritating, let me just say that, I disliked her and honestly found some of her decisions to be so dumb that I have to constantly remind myself: she’s 19 she’s young its FINE. (Its not). She wants revenge but gives it up like 25% into the story???? Then there was the whole “romance” with Gavin and that didn’t even work for me, seriously what was that. They dont have any chemistry, and honestly I would have preferred if she ended up with Marai instead, at least they had chemistry and actually made sense as. a couple. The mystery was meh, and the whole arc of Fin’s character journey and progression to becoming a vampire was lackluster. Seriously, i was so disappointed i didn’t like this one. Despite this review, I will be reading the author’s future works, I loved their previous works so maybe the next book will be a better fit for me. Overall, if you’re into a vampire school setting with a student falling for their mentor ( a la Vampire Academy sort of) with court politics and a murder mystery, give this one a go, maybe it’ll be right for you.

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group, Feiwel & Friends for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

#book review #bookish #ya fantasy #vampire book #court of the undying seasons

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

Text

October prompts — 3. JJ MAYBANK ; OBX

Prompt: ❛ i don’t think we should be here. ❜

A/N: inspired by the Blair witch project, Chernobyl diaries, & a little bit Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children? I started writing this late and just finished so I think I’ll be done writing for the next few days to recoup? Unless I get another ounce of inspiration then I might drop a Barry blurb that’s in my drafts but no promises. This one is lengthy! *Now edited*

There’s a smidge of a crossover with “never have I ever” since Trent decided to pop in my dream the other night? Not overly important. And I also got a little creeped out myself writing this so that must say something? I live for this shit if you haven’t noticed 😆!!!

WARNINGS: Youtuber reference I guess you can say? Crossover with another Netflix show? Language? JJ not passing the spooky vibe check? 😂 Halloween is definitely not a favorite holiday of JJ’s after that episode in s1, it’s confirmed. It’s canon! Jealousy? + A dedicated?/ determined? Reader. Take that how you will!

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

[Hello everybody, welcome back to the channel! You’re here with if not your favorite or should be favorite, mystery teller, CloverOctobers and I want to tell you about a recent unsettling tale that doesn’t get talked about enough. Its known as: The OBX Amusment Park Incident. If you’re curious to see what this mystery maybe about, then please stayed tuned!]

On October 5th, 2020 seven friends: Eighteen year old Y/N Y/L|N, seventeen year old JJ Maybank, sixteen year old Kiara Carerra, eighteen year old John B. Routledge, sixteen year old Pope Heyward, seventeen year old Sarah Cameron, and nineteen year old Cleo Turnquest decided to go exploring. Those who knew of the friends stated that they were always up to something and getting involved in dangerous tasks as either a source of survival or for fun. Unbeknownst to the group of friends, this adventure might have been their last.

Y/N Y/L|N favorite hobby was anything that had to do with film, whether it be photography to filmmaking it interested them and it was obvious they took it seriously according to their socials. They said recently before they decided to all go exploring that they’ve been up watching youtubers explore not only any place but mainly abandoned places. The amusement park in which the friends would explore was in the outerbanks, North Carolina and it was reported that the park was shut down in 2016. We will get into the history behind that in just a bit. It was agreed that Pope would be the recorder of their adventure while Y/N would be mainly in front of the camera along with the rest of their friends.

They would not be the only ones exploring this abandoned park as a few other group of friends would be meeting them there. It was hinted that Y/N had history with one of the other’s in the opposite group and that he was the one who suggested the amusement park to Y/N. At approximately 10AM the morning of October 5th, 2020 Y/N left their home to meet up with their friends at John B Routledge’s, better known as “John B’s” house before hitting the road.

The two separate friend groups went missing on two different timelines, the first friend group consisting of Y/N and their six friends were missing for almost two weeks whereas the second, which consisted of Trent Harrison — a old friend of Y/N’s and his friends went missing for a week. Authorities were able to determine after a few hours due to the searching of the teens homes, their socials, and help from subscribers that watched Trent’s YouTube channel, the possible location of their disappearance. Three vehicles were found south east of were the amusement park sat, one of the vehicles’ driver side door was left wide open with a trace of blood on the steering wheel and the driver’s seat.

DNA testing confirmed that the blood belonged to Y/N. Along with searching the vehicle they were able to find a camcorder and a go-pro nearby, also covered in blood believed to be Y/N’s with footage still intact. The events that took place on October 5th, 2020 are very disturbing and still have yet to be determined on what exactly happened.

•*•*•*•*•*••*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

“Who do you think we are, mystery inc?” JJ complained from behind you as you led the way up a grass covered hill.

You were not the only one to let out a laugh as you made it up another set of hills. You weren’t completely there at the destination just yet but you knew after that last hill that you would be. Standing in the center of the pathway, which was big enough for some sort of vehicle to ride through, you held your arms out and breathed in the fresh fall air.

Sarah smiled at you as you twirled around waiting for the rest of your friends to get up on higher ground. Pope stood to the left of her, holding onto a camcorder and made sure to fulfill his task of the ultimate camera man, he zoomed in on you twirling away.

“Come on, JJ. Lighten up man, you’re out here with some good looking people, and the rest of these guys.” John B grinned at the blond, tossing an arm over his shoulder while the rest of the friends scoffed at his lame joke and Kie sent him the bird in response before he continued, “What more could you complain about?”

JJ zeroed in on you as the wind tossed your hair around, making you pull up the collars to your jacket against the breeze. Kiara went over to you holding out a map as the two of you leaned close, shortly after you nodded at her, grinning and pointed straight. Don’t get JJ Maybank wrong, he loved spending time with his friends because he wasn’t much of a guy that cared for solitude. He was very much a people person but this bright idea that you had? He wasn’t feeling it when you brought it the table two days prior. However after everyone was on board, how could he say no?

Until he gained knowledge on the arrival to the woods, that you would be meeting some others at this place, those others consisting of one of your exes but not really your ex? Whatever that means. When he should be saying as if he doesn’t know what that means (he does).

“I could think of a few things, John B.” He mumbled.

The brunette lightly tapped JJ’s cheek to get his attention, “what’s our motto, JJ?”

“To have a good time all the time.”

“Then you better start acting like it and not moping around. We said we’re not dealing with the emotional feelings…keeping everything platonic, right?” John B squeezed his shoulder wiggling the boy back and forth.

JJ blinked, “does that also apply to you and kate moss over there?”

John B glanced over at Sarah who appeared deeply in a conversation with Cleo as they suddenly turned and slowly followed after you and Kie skipping leading the way. Pope had the camera on his best friends, making the two boys cheese and wave.

“We’re not talking about me here.” John B winked while JJ scoffed as they made their way over to walk alongside Pope.

Shocker! And here we thought John B was the main character.

The group of seven took a short five to seven minute walk, the pathway curving along the slope and sure it was mighty beautiful with the thin trees hanging onto their leaves…however JJ couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen. And he hated being that guy, manifesting the bad shit or simply being in a crap mood but he did what he did best, ignore the issue and hoped it goes away.

At the steel sea green painted gates you gripped onto them, the material crumbling underneath your light grasp. You peered beneath the gaps to see the area of the ticket booth and bounced in excitement as you turned back to your friends and the main camera.

“You guys ready?”

Cleo twirled her knife eyeing the area around and shrugged as a reply. Sarah nodded her head, Pope gave a raised thumb, and John B let out a whoop.

“Not really, no.” JJ coughed, while the rest of your friends stepped towards you.

“How do we get in?” Sarah asked, glancing upwards at the pointy ends of the gate.

You smiled and gave jazz hands, “we hop.”

“Those bars are pretty dang tall, y/n.” Kiara said craning her neck, although she was a solid 5’8.

“That’s what we have those three for.” You pointed.

John B sighed, “are we only good for stepping on?”

“Yes.” Sarah answered making John B frown, appalled.

You laughed as you corrected, “Everyone except Pope.”

“Well wow, what the fuck?” JJ commented, “you are aware John b and I can just leave right now?”

“I’m not going anywhere. I read about this place and I want to get to the top of their famous water slide, maybe get a pic or two. Sorry buddy.” John b apologized, while JJ rolled his eyes.

Pope spoke to the camera telling them he would be right back, cutting off the device then he moved to stand beside John b as they got ready to help Kiara, Sarah, and then Cleo to hop the gate. Which was no walk in the park since it indeed look slippery, with Sarah confirming that, as her foot slipped twice.

“Seriously, J. If you want to back out, you can. No peer pressure here.” You quietly said, walking to stand in front of the light-eyed boy.

JJ chewed on his bottom lip as Cleo successfully jumped down to meet the other girls and straightened out her posture. “Do you honestly think I’m going to walk back to the car, by myself and wait for who knows how long for you guys to get back? If you get back.” He mumbled that last part.

“If? Whoa, what’s with all this negativity bro? Need a CBD gummy?” You offered while JJ tapped his chin in thought about it then surprisingly declined.

JJ huffed and then a smirk came over his face, “you could give me a kiss, that would be a great help to my nerves.”

“Why don’t you ask your fling from yesterday night? Since the both of you seemed like you only know how to eat tongues. Oh yeah, that’s right they weren’t invited.” You gave a smug smile, “the best I could do is when you get scared shitless and if I’m near by, I’ll give you my hand to hold, Maybank.” You patted his chest and turned to head over to John b and Pope with JJ shaking his head at you, followed by a small laugh.

You were so jealous.

Easily the two lifted you up and over leaving you to do the rest by flinging yourself from the top.

“Thanks for all your help, JJ. Really.” Pope exasperated, holding his arms out.

“Don’t start with me, man.” JJ held his hand out while John B took that as his turn to get over the gate and away from his two friend’s bickering.

Pope went next, wheezing as he landed on his butt and laid there for a good minute.

“Pope, you okay?” Kiara tried not to laugh.

Cleo was the one to yank Pope up as he held his back, “I might have broken my tailbone or asscheek, I can’t really tell.”

“Ay, Walk it off, P.” Cleo ordered which Pope saluted, with his eyes clenched shut in pain.

And to make matters worse, JJ got the sleeve of his jacket caught on the pointy end of the gate when it was his turn, which left him hanging there for a few moments. Sarah already got Pope on footage busting his ass so to get JJ dangling there was just the icing on the cake, so far, so good on this trip, in her eyes!

“Stop flopping around like a fish, Peter Pan and just lift and pull.” Cleo ordered, “cheese on bread.”

JJ wiggled from side to side and huffed, “can’t you see that’s what I’m doing?!”

On top of that, your ex who isn’t your ex decided to show up with his group of friends while Cleo and John B went to JJ’s aide. It appeared as if you were going to help as well but when that Trent guy made a scene—as he commonly did by putting a dangling JJ on blast along with calling your name, it was like he did not matter anymore.

At least the other two friends of trent’s came over to help while Trent couldn’t keep his hands off of you, hugging you to death and spinning you around. By the time JJ got down he was groaning at the new hole in his jacket and glared daggers into the back of your head.

“Now that you’re down here with us, I’m Paxton.” A dark haired boy who looked thirty something held his hand out for JJ to shake.

John B nudged JJ but that seemed to do nothing.

“And I’m Ben, but you don’t give a shit what our names are clearly because it looks like your target right now is y/n.” The dirty blond haired boy with big round blue eyes stated.

It took seconds for Paxton to piece what was happening here as the four girls he came with, introduced themselves to the rest of your group.

“Ah, you must be the jealous boyfriend, you don’t have to hate on Trent.” Paxton said.

JJ finally cut his eyes at Paxton, “I don’t know who you are or what you’re even talking about but I’m not y/n’s boyfriend. Strictly besties.”

That felt like a lie and by the look on the two strangers faces, they knew it too.

“Could have had me fooled.” Ben pursed his lips while John B clicked his tongue and rubbed the back of his neck.

Paxton forcefully got his point across, “just told you. I’m paxton, my girlfriend is Devi over there and I kinda have to agree with what’s his face standing next to you.” He motioned towards Ben who gave a sarcastic smile, “The whole vibe screams jealous, plus Trent is my best friend and he kinda has something going on with my girlfriend’s best friend, Eleanor. So really, you don’t have to worry…I don’t think.”

JJ was hearing what this Paxton guy was saying but it didn’t fully register, not with the way your eyes crinkled when the long haired poser skater boy talked to you. Did your face ever look like that when he talked to you? He only wondered.

“Whatever, none of this matters. Are you guys into this crap, finding abandoned places? What if we find a body or worse?” JJ decided to change the subject now pacing, which John B thought was a good change of topics, minus the whole finding a dead body part.

Ben sighed, “oh heck no! I’m just imagining all sorts of diseases we might pick up from just standing here, which is why I bought a gas mask. And made multiple appointments with many doctors after this. I had free time and Anessa asked me to come.”

“And Marcus couldn’t so…” Paxton threw in while Ben shot him a look.

John B let out a low whistle thinking to himself, ‘well, this is a nice conversation.’

Thankfully you and Trent called everybody’s attention, making everyone gather around. You always had a thing for giving presentations so it was no wonder you were so at ease explaining the history behind this place. JJ didn’t care much for going to school or getting up early for it but one subject he didn’t mind was history.

“This amusement park was built on what used to be a circus or what many would call a freak show. This amusement park was first built in 2002 and rebranded multiple times as they shifted owners throughout the years. This land used to be the home of those who were categorized as unusual people.” You announced.

Trent took over, “until the first owner of the freak show basically got away with murder, abuse, and kidnapping. His name was Albert Griffiths and he was basically like this poor dude who fell in love with this rich babe he met on this boat, big as the titanic really, the boat came all the way from England I think back in the late 1930s? Once they got together and he came across multiple people with noticeable abnormalities around the town here, he came up with this idea for a freak show. The kidnapping began after his wife bought this land.”

Eleanor gasped with a raise of her hand, “and his wife was just okay with that?”

Trent nodded with a snap of his finger, “she sure was pretty lady up front! because she was all about the bennies.”

“Whatta biotch.” A tall curly headed girl commented then covered her mouth at the insult while Sarah and Kiara snickered.

“When business picked up and cash was coming in, reporters wanted a behind the scenes look but Albert and his wife who’s name was: Fanny Berrycloth decided not to do that since they treated those who were making them profit like complete crap.” You told them, your eyes scanning the faces of everyone who seemed intrigued with the story.

Trent added, “so like this nosy reporter wanted the scoop so she went to great lengths to get it. She broke in with her brother by her side who recorded everything kinda like what we’re doing now.” He laughed at the irony, “the twins oh yeah, they were twins by the way found the living conditions to be gross as hell and just messed up. Albert and Fanny were doing their employees dirty, straight up. And they got it all on camera without them knowing or so they thought.”

“And when it came to light, the police were after them but want to know another level of fucked up?” You went quiet as everyone expected you to finish.

Cleo kissed her teeth, “if you don’t spit it out!”

“They had enough money to flee and left early that morning before sunrise but not without setting the place on fire with the unusual people locked in their resting places for the night.” You finally answered.

Trent had his arms locked behind him waiting for the moment to add the final touch, “all thirty of them perished before the authorities returned back to this land. It is believed that each attraction here in the amusement park was the place where each of their bodies were found. It’s also common that some still see them walking since the place got abandoned and even before this place shut down. Many attendees said once the moon comes out, they would see them standing together just watching.”

JJ felt a shiver run up his spine and he immediately shared a look with John B who tilted his head to the side. It could be true, who knows? He didn’t bother to do any research, John b was just glad to be doing something.

“Is this real or bullshit, y/n?” Sarah asked, folding her arms. She looked a little uneasy.

“Very real. I’d say Google it but there’s no reception beyond this gates, I’ve checked.” Y/N held up their phone, as a way to tell everyone to do the same.

Majority of the friends did while JJ didn’t bother, his phone never held any battery and he didn’t have unlimited data, he couldn’t afford it.

“Anybody else a little freaked out now? I mean are they gonna come after us for simply being here and disturbing their peace?” Devi spoke and JJ couldn’t help but to agree.

“That’s the thing, they weren’t at peace. Not at this place where they couldn’t live their lives, they were tortured to work and probably didn’t see a penny of it. I’m sure of it, it’s cruel and disgusting!” Kie clenched her fist.

Cleo added, “and what exactly is our purpose here? Are we supposed to free their souls somehow because I wasn’t asked to do that and I don’t play with the dead.”

You shook your head, “no. We’re just here to explore and maybe feel the contradiction of this place now that you all know what this amusement park is about. Don’t take anything you may find from here because I can’t promise you what might follow.”

Sarah widened her eyes, “how do we know we won’t be followed even if we don’t?”

“Great question!” Trent exclaimed, “which we don’t have the answer to. But if anybody is already crapping their pants then you can turn away now, we won’t blame you. We plan to be out of here by 6-7 at the latest. Way before the time of their untimely deaths, just to be safe.”

Murmurs fell among the group, a lot of uncertainty on half of the faces but Pope and Eleanor seemed to be the voice of reason for each side.

“You said by 6-7 we can go. It’s 12pm now, I’m going to set a timer…we also haven’t eaten lunch so we’ll need a break and as long as the both of you can shake on it, our side agrees.” Eleanor held out her hand for both you and Trent to shake, which they did.

Pope tossed in, “and if at any point any of us gets too creeped out and no one else feels that way we can’t send them off by their self. That’s never a good idea to separate. I suggest always being in groups or with at least a partner.”

“That’s fair.” JJ quickly said, while everyone else nodded.

You and Trent clapped your hands happy that this was settled. Everyone naturally slipped into two lines to get through the ticket booth, either hopping the turnstiles or crawling under it to get by. Somehow you seemed to end up standing next to JJ as you both halted staring out at the abandoned entrance. It was large and open and could have been thriving at one point. Neither of you been to this amusement park before, since it was too out of the way from back home, it was always easier just to go down to the county fair instead of traveling so much outside of town.

Even though you were considered a kook, you never flaunted it in anybody’s face. Neglect was kind of a thing with your mom and step-dad always being anywhere but at home, however they didn’t see it that way. Your mom was a U.S. customs agent so that required lengthy hours and risky situations but your mom thrived on that, you got a call maybe once a week from her? Your step-dad was sketch to begin with having a obsession with cars, apparently owning multiple repair shops (his definition of his profession not yours) from LA to Dubai but he was cool enough, he loved your mom and he cared about you so that was fine but it didn’t make you feel whole.

Then there was your biological dad who was a firefighter before he went to jail. He recently got out and is trying to rebuild a relationship with you but it’s hard. And one person outside of your best friends that you had was your god-father who was a swat member, at least he came to see you once a month or every other month.

“Looks like you and I designated partners?” JJ began walking backwards with you slowly following.

“Eh, could be worse.”

JJ laughed, “you love me somewhere in that cold heart of yours.”

“Maybe, Maybank.”

“So tell me, are you recording or is it only Pope and Trent?”

You shook your head, “we all have go-pro’s remember? It’s up to you to attach it whenever you see fit.”

JJ must have been asleep during that instruction, or at least trying to as a way to calm down his nerves. He didn’t feel any better by the story the both of you just told but you always knew how to set the tone.

“I think I’m good.”

“Suit yourself. Visuals always help what you can’t verbally explain.” You told as you strapped the go-pro around your head.

JJ waited for you to turn it on then rested his hands on your shoulders, “visuals you say? Maybe we should make out to give the people what they really want?”

“What you want or what the unusual people lingering around want?” You quirked up your brows with a wiggle of your fingers towards the pretty blond’s face.

JJ shuddered, “you sure know how to ruin the moment don’t ya, sweetheart?”

You bumped your hip with JJ’s as you continued walking side by side now, seeing everyone starting to go their separate ways. You could see Pope shaking his head in disapproval as he had his camera pointed towards you two, before Cleo yanked him along with Sarah.

Poor Pope. That must mean John B and Kie were partnered up but you couldn’t see those two anywhere. You and JJ decided to head straight seeing Trent’s group off to the right. Underneath another entrance you spotted what could have been a old fountain, along with a sculpture inside of some kids chasing after some balloons.

“Let’s head to the toy or merch shop over there.” You use your chin to point at the portion of the building that had words hanging off it.

JJ nodded, “I see what this is. You want me to win you a big ‘ol stuffie. Don’t worry, y/n. I’ll do my best.”

You shook your head following after him as JJ went to grab the door, you glanced around you to hear the slight cawing of birds and the squeaking sound of what could be a swing in the distance. Reaching backwards you felt around the side your backpack and pulled out a flashlight to turn on, JJ carefully slipped his hand through the broken glass of the door to turn the knob from the inside.

And inside the two of you went.

The place looked ransacked. It was the size of two medium sized rooms put together, dark and smelled stale. JJ stepped over some glass as you made sure to keep some extra light on for the footage, you heard a light buzzing the more you moved around. JJ went to a shelf in the center of the room that was still standing upwards and pulled out a shirt from the other side. He shook out the dust to read the name of the amusement park branded on the front of it and smiled to himself. He was sure the inner kid in him would appreciate it so he folded it up and shoved it into a inside pocket of his jacket.

You walked alongside the wall, eyeing the wallpaper that appeared hand painted of certain characters that were possible mascots of the park? Your light flashed along it as JJ moved behind the counter to pop open the register to find it…empty. Whoever came to this place got exactly what they wanted years ago.

“Do you hear that, J?” You asked, picking up on the buzzing sound.

It sounded louder the closer you stepped to where the register sat on the counter, “sounds like it’s comin’ from back there?”

You rested your hand along the wall which carried the same theme park wallpaper along it. Your hand dipped towards the spot you could reach the highest and it came open with a pop.

A secret door!

JJ licked his lips and before he could say anything further, you were already pushing the door open expecting him to follow. The both of you didn’t like being left alone, you could deal with it but JJ hated it. So he stuck to you like glue following shortly after you to see a light fixture clinging to the ceiling.

“That’s a safety hazard.” JJ lamely commented, feeling colder in this room than the previous.

You didn’t respond as you circled around the room full of desks and broken computers. “This must be the stock room.”

JJ didn’t miss the soft click behind them and deeply exhaled through his nostrils, moving back to that door. He reached up, his shirt lifting with him as he tried to feel for the same spot you just did to get the door back open. “Y/n.”

“…where they kept all the extras?” You trailed off, eyes scanning some stuffed animals tossed around, along with a cotton machine kicked over on its side.

JJ began jamming his shoulder into the door but it wouldn’t budge and you wouldn’t stop walking around. His heartbeat was beginning to sound off in his ears and he could hear the buzzing getting louder now. He shifted resting his back against the door as he looked at you across the room, “Y/N! I don’t think we should be here.”

You turned as JJ said this, smiling at him, “why?”

“Because the door just shut on us and you’re still walkin’ around like what we’re doing here is normal especially since you just told us this fucked up story!” JJ spazzed.

“C’mon, get over here and hold my hand, Big baby.” You waved him over as you lifted your head, looking up at the ceiling to see something carved into it.

You expected graffiti but not carvings? Slowly you began moving, head tilting as you tried to figure out the words but some lifted wood sticking outwards, sent you flying. You had no time to process what was happening, even with JJ calling out your name, you fell onto your arm with a loud crunch, you were sure you let out a scream at the impact but not for long as the wood beneath you then pulled you through the floorboards and down to the unknown.

JJ’s heart fell into his stomach as he watched you fall in slow motion. If you thought he was scared before, seeing that? Amplified his worries as he carefully jogged to you, testing the floorboards as he crouched down. He could see the light from the flashlight you had in your hands some distance away from where you fell, shining into your face which was now bleeding from your hairline.

You were out cold.

“Y/N! You better answer me, let me know that you’re still breathing!” JJ called out to you but you did not move.

He felt himself falling back onto his backside as he saw a black form flash by where your body lay. You landed on your back, when you originally fell on your side so he wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing to your possibly broken arm. He had two choices: find a way out to get help…however he didn’t want to leave you OR jump down there with whatever else might be with you and get the both of you back up. Somehow.

“Damn it, Y/N.” JJ hissed as he rested his hands on his faded red fitted cap that he had turned backwards. He reached into one of his pockets to pull out his phone and you were right, no bars…which means no reception.

He couldn’t call for help.

The both of you were on your own.

JJ kept his eyes on you as he got back to his feet. He was pissed that he had to do this but it wouldn’t be a question to help you out. You were hardheaded and he was impulsive so that made the both of you a chaotic team. Nonetheless you would do anything for each other just like that song you liked to sing when you were drunk off your ass and often serenaded to your friends. It only mattered when you sung it to JJ though! since you made his heart skip a beat.

It felt nice and frustrating as ever too. Nobody’s ever made him feel like that before, he only hoped he had that effect on his flings. However that was just moments and with you time always felt everlasting.

You know the song? By Foster the People. The one that goes o-o-la-la? It’s a old one. Ah, look it up. That was your song and that was his source of encouragement to get down to you and get you both the hell out. His gut was right and you were wrong, you were gonna hate to hear that whenever you opened those pretty large eyes.

And down into the abyss he went with a war cry bursting from his lungs.

•*•*•**•**•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•^•^•^••*•*•*•*•*•

Part two

#obx #obx netflix #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #john b routledge #Pope Heyward #kiara carerra #Sarah Cameron #cleo obx #obx Cleo #never have i ever netflix #trent harrison #crossover fic #october prompts #the obx amusement incident

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starbuckie · 3 years

Text

𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤

challenge: time travel challenge by @justagirlinafandomworld

prompt: “we’re divorced?”

pairing: sirius black x reader

words: 5.7k words

warnings: FOURTH WALL BREAK!!(sorry im very excited about that), lots of angst, almost smut(hehe), sirius lowkey has a breeding kink, sirius is an asshole for a bit, the smallest bit of fluff, fix-it, and the same time travel theory as back to the future

summary: an unnatural occurrence lets a woman go back in time to try and change everything she’s known for the past twenty years.

a/n: wow, i normally don’t write for harry potter so this was a nice change. anyways, this is for yvette’s time travel writing challenge, and everybody say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! i’m so sorry this is late, it got deleted and i needed to re-edit, but i truly appreciate your friendship and your lovely, amazingly beautiful self, and I’m so so glad that we became friends :) this fic is not beta-read at all, so if you see any mistakes tell me, but otherwise i really hope you enjoy this fic<3

main masterlist || harry potter masterlist

It still wasn’t over. After all she had lost, more specifically everyone she had lost, and the shitty cycle that she had to call her life, it still wasn’t over. The people she had watched the life drain from, the screams of those suffering from the loss caused by the Dark Lord, and yet life still hadn’t had its fill of torturing Y/N. Grimmauld Place felt empty without the kids, without the Weasleys, but they had gone back to their home and soon enough she would have to as well. Harry had gone back to Hogwarts with Dumbledore, though she’d argued to hold onto him just a bit longer after-

After Sirius had died.

Time had passed, maybe two or three weeks, but no matter what the woman couldn’t bring herself to get out of Sirius’ old bedroom, simply staring at the ceiling with her tears at bay. Her and Sirius had been a complicated thing, to say the least, a topic nobody had brought up since 1983, when she had banned it. Not as if there was much to talk about after the divorce and Sirius going to Azkaban. After Lily and James had died, after she had fought with Dumbledore for custody of Harry, after she had become a professor at Beauxbatons and moved to France without a second thought. Sirius had been locked up after he’d hurt her in the worst possible way, and Y/N’s heartbroken soul found no other reason to return to England.

But, she pushed those bad memories to the back of her mind. It seemed so trivial, looking back on it. Not the broken house, of course, that had been his own mistake. But Y/N had many regrets, all of them seeming to revolve around the mischievous black-haired man who she had fallen in love with as a teen. The night it went down, the night their relationship had fractured at the seams and fallen down, was her greatest one however. It had been so stupid, so, so stupid, but they’d both gotten caught up in the moment, and Y/N had let him die without knowing how much she was sorry for that night that they let their fears consume them.

The cries that she had tried so hard to contain finally broke free from the restraints of her heart. “I’m so sorry, Siri,” she whispered into the air, “I couldn’t save you this time.” As the hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks, Y/N shuffled across the room, letting her feet drag her to the old Black family room, the dark green walls embracing her rainy emotions.

A little gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the portraits among the wall. The Black family tree was faded along the age-old wall, but what she was really looking for was the burned out image of her raven-haired love. There, right next to Regulus, was a black spot, scorned and scarred by the prestigious family for being a blood traitor. Y/N smiled and traced the burn with her finger, remembering their fourth year when she had accompanied him home for the holidays so he wouldn’t be completely alone in the hellhole he had to call his house. Sirius had snuck them up to this room and spent the night talking in hushed whispers sworn secrets. “I’ll be yours forever, Siri, and I’m sorry for fighting with you. I wish-” she sniffled, glaring at the spot in the wall as she tried to garble out her words, “I wish, I could go back in time, and just fix it. Just me and you, and that stupid night, with the bloody fight about children because you deserve it all, darling.”

“Ah, I think you can.”

Y/N turned around, her eyes wide with fear. That was not Kreacher’s voice. There stood a younger woman, around nineteen, a scroll of paper and a quill in her hand. There was a whisper of a smirk on her face, brown eyes glittering even in the dimness in the room. “Who the hell are you?” Y/N looked at the door, which was still closed as she left it. She cast her wand out, pointing it at the stranger who did nothing but smile. “How did you get in here? Are you with the Lord?”

“With Voldemort?” The woman simply laughed. “Dude, I’m not with ‘the Lord’,” she added with air quotations. “Also I’m not really even here, so don’t you worry about that. My name’s Malia.”

Malia held her hand out, but Y/N kept her guard up. “You’re American. What brings you here? Are you a muggle?”

“Oh, nope, not a wizard, I’m just the author of this story.” Malia confided. “I’m here to tell you that you can fix this.”

“Fix… what?” Malia just rolled her eyes and sighed, staring up towards the ceiling as she spoke.

“God, did I write you to be hard of hearing now, too? I ought to fix that when I get back.” The woman blankly stared at the strange girl, wondering what the actual fuck she was talking about. “I can give you the chance to go back in time, Y/N. It won’t be for long, it’s really not gonna be interesting for more than two hours at most, but that should be enough time to tell the gang about what’s to come with Voldemort.”

“Like... time travel?” Y/N asked. The only way she knew how to time travel was the time turners. “But all of the ti-”

“Time turners were destroyed in the Department of Mysteries, I know, I know. Trust me, I’ve read Harry Potter more times than I’ve said ‘I love you’ to my parents.” Malia smiled. “I’m the author, I make the rules, and my rule is that I’m giving you two hours in 1978 to talk to Sirius so he can fix the emotional fucking mess left behind by J.K. Rowling.”

“Who’s J.K. Rowling?” Malia shuddered at the name.

“A raggedy-ass, transphobic bitch who wrote y’all into existence, but she’s not of importance right now.” She checked the small, rectangular box in her hand, which glowed and provided little light in the darkened room. “Let’s see, it’s currently eleven-forty, so you have until one-forty to find the Marauders and fix this future. It may not be fixed in the books in the future, but if you are able to do it here that’s all that matters.” Malia’s brown eyes were downcast, her bright and loud personality dimming for just a moment before returning to Y/N’s confused gaze once more. “Try not to screw up too much while you’re there, just enough that you defeat the Dark Lord the first time. Tell Sirius all you know and that should be enough for him to fix all the mistakes, but do not under any circumstances let him or anyone else know who you are. I wish you luck, Y/N, it was nice to meet ya in person.”

And with a peace sign in front of her face, she disappeared into a flash of neon pink light.

“Bloody hell! Fix my future? Talk to Sirius? If this even is time travel, then how am I supposed to get there- AH!” Y/N’s body felt like it was turning inside out, her guts being torn from her stomach and back into it again. A delirious giggle arose from her lips in the black void she was pulled into, and a soft chatter could be heard, like voices at the end of a tunnel.

“Blimey, looks like we got ourselves a nutter on school grounds.” Y/N’s arms flailed around, desperately seeking some sort of grounding surface to hold on to when her back hit a rough surface. There was an audible crack somewhere in her body, but she felt so sick that she couldn’t tell where.

“Are you okay, ma’am? You just appeared from the sky and hit the ground.” Warm, brown eyes met Y/N’s, a familiar mess of black curls resting atop of the boy’s head. Large, rounded glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose, and an impish smile, one she used to know so well before he died, met his lips.

“James,” she sighed. The boy stared at her strangely, and only then did she notice the three other boys and girls each behind them. Remus, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, and Alice.

Sirius.

The sight that met her eyes made her nearly emotional. It had technically been only three weeks since she had seen him, but here was the young boy she had fallen in love with. The one who charmed her with his smart words and witty retorts to her brush-offs, who used to hold her in his arms in the most intimate and gentle ways. His grey eyes sparkled with curiosity, the infamous Marauder mischief swirling within the silvery pools.

Seeing him so young tugged at her heartstrings, and though she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms and never let go, a small, niggling feeling at the back of her head held her back. Was there something wrong?

“You know me?” Oh right, she was currently thirty-five. Looking around she noticed that she was outside the quidditch pitch, and there were other students, staring at her with widened eyes. No one knew she was Y/N L/N, their fellow schoolmate and probably one of the very few of them that survived the Death Eaters attacks. None of them were aware how it ended, or how it was currently going for them back in 1996, and in this time there was the first Wizarding War going on and they had every right to be terrified for their lives.

James now took a more defensive stance, standing tall and holding his wand out. “Who are you?”

She couldn’t give him the answer, instead letting her mouth gape open as she stared at him with wide eyes. Y/N looked across the grounds for the nearest exit, which was down by Hagrid’s hut and into the Forbidden Forest. It was her only choice at this point, to hide in the dark, creepy space, maybe just until the students went away so she could find Sirius and talk to him alone. It’d be hard to separate him from the boys, but if Lily were occupied with James it sure would be easy.

Her younger, seventh-year self didn’t seem to be in the audience, thank Merlin, and with that knowledge, she got up and ran, ignoring her screaming muscles. That time travel really did a number on her.

As she ran through the crowd, shoving people aside, she heard the students mutter, too much in shock and disarray to stop the crazy, old woman who knew James Potter.

“This is dodgy.”

“Someone ought to tell Dumbledore about this.”

“She kinda looks like Y/N L/N.’

“Don’t insult the poor girl like that, that wonker is ages old.”

“Come back here! Who the bloody hell are you?” Y/N’s heart beat quickly in her chest, threatening to burst out. Only three minutes in the past and it was all going straight to shit. “Stupefy!”

Shit. “No, James, please don’t-“ Her body hit the ground and her eyes closed, the last thing she saw being the pumpkin patch by the hut.

“I see you’re awake now, Ms. L/N.” Dumbledore stood above Y/N in the hospital ward bed, his grey beard dangling in front of her face. Her first instinct was to start blaming him for everything that had happened, starting from Lily and James’ deaths to Sirius’, already opening her mouth to call him an old, senile cow, but then she realized that Harry hadn’t been sent to the Dursleys yet, much less been born yet, so none of it would have an effect on him. Y/N’s second instinct was to question how Dumbledore knew who she was in 1978, but her former Headmaster started to speak before she could do so. “I must admit, it’s very courageous, that stunt you just pulled. I don’t think Ms. Louie will be too happy about that.” Y/N sent him a questioning stare. “Malia, the girl you met earlier. Malia Louie.”

“Headmaster Dumbledore, how did you know it was me?” She was dressed in a white gown that went to her knees, and behind him she could see her blouse and jeans folded and clean. Ah, the Hospital Wing. She had brought the boys here more times than she could count in her years at Hogwarts. “I don’t exactly look as young as I used to.”

“Ah, don’t worry Ms. L/N, you’ve kept your good looks quite nicely, even in your older age.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully, his wrinkled eyes sparkling with joy. “And speaking of young, if you are still worrying yourself about your younger self, you can put that to a stop. I am aware that you are not able to tell anyone who you are, and time travel is exceptionally dangerous if you are seen by the other version of yourself. I’ve already told the students that you were just a stray witch, misguided in your ways and that you were well taken care of. However, I think that brings us to the question of what your intentions are in the past, Ms. L/N.”

“Headmaster, I don’t think I can tell you about my business here. I’ve already messed up by letting the school see me by letting everyone see me, I don’t know why that girl even sent me here, it’s clear that this was a mistake.” Y/N sat up on the headboard, feeling her eyes fill with tears once again. The tall arches of windows let the sun in the room, and she could see the specks of dust swirling around in the golden light. It had to be close to the end of the year for them, maybe sometime around April or May, near the end of N.E.W.T.s at least. She could imagine that it’d be easy for her to get out of Hogwarts for the day, with all the students studying for the stressful exams in the library, maybe she'd make her way to Hogsmeade and walk around or visit Hagrid under a false name to have some tea. He was always open for a nice cuppa with strangers on any free day he had. “Thank you Headmaster, for your kindness, but I really ought to be going. I-it was nice to see you.”

Y/N started to help herself out of the bed, swinging her feet over to touch the cool stone ground. Bones cracked with pain and fatigue, her muscles stretching sluggishly. Merlin, that she was not expecting that much hurt from the fall, but she should have never underestimated James Potter. No one ever should if they want to keep their good mind and sanity.

Dumbledore handed her her clothes, cracked lips set in a straight line as he nodded solemnly. “I hope you accomplish whatever it is you are here to do, Ms. L/N, but I have no doubt that you will.” With a sly wink, he added, “You were always one of our most ardent and bright students.”

Y/N let herself smile, and with a wave, swiftly brought herself to the door. “Thank you, Headmaster.”

After slipping outside, she ran down the corridors, echoes of her feet ringing lightly behind her. The courtyard proved to be empty and she quickly ducked behind a column and tugged her jeans on hastily, making sure that no professors came walking past. Though the sky proved to be bright and cheerful, a slight breeze carried through, making her fall off balance and fall on the cemented ground.

“Are you okay, darling? You look like you’re in need of a little help.” Y/N looked up to the speaking figure, one that she both loved and dreaded to see.

She gathered herself quickly, her mind running fast and heart beating out of her chest as she tried to get out. “Yes, I am okay, thank you for asking. I think I’ll just get up and going now, I don’t need to take time out of your day like this-”

“I know who you are, Y/N.”

Y/N came to a full stop, going against her brain that screamed at her to run away. Sirius looked downtrodden, his grey eyes watering despite the small hint of a smirk on his face. Though he was always one for playing around and not taking anything seriously, she knew when it was time to stop pretending and get real. “How’d you know it was me, Sirius?”

“You really don’t look bad for your age, darling.” He offered her a hand to help her up and she took it graciously, eyeing him nearly guiltily and forgetting about her promise to Y/N. But that was useless now, this moment with her first love was much more important. “Also you have the tattoo on your chest. I knew it was you the moment you landed on school grounds.”

She traced his gaze to her left collarbone, where a paw print, just barely visible beneath her low-cut blouse, sat. It was his, or Snuffles’, paw print, and at this point in time they had probably gotten it done about three months before. He had one for her too, a horseshoe for her horse patronus, right on his left side of his chest too. So they’d always be right next to each other’s hearts, as cheesy as it seemed.

But they were dumb, lovesick teenagers, and they acted the part well too. Their love was all-consuming, shagging in under the bleachers at the quidditch pitch and making out under the stars. It was fast, everything was fast, decisions, ideas, classes, all of them under the impression that they had to do everything right then or they’d be dead before they got to actually live. They had dreams of marriage, and a big, big family, obviously so far away from his family so they could never hurt their children’s lives the way they had hurt his.

They were fantasies, Y/N had known that well enough when she and Sirius got divorced, but it was something that eighteen year-old Sirius Black held close to his heart. No matter how shitty his life got, he was always a firm believer in a happy ending. In their happy ending.

“How am I right now?” They now stood over the Black Lake, staring into the glittering depths of the water where some mermaids could be seen sneaking peeks at the handsome boy and the strange lady who had fallen from the sky.

Sirius stared at her questioningly for a moment. “How are you doing right now? I mean, I believe that I should be asking you that ques- oh, Merlin, I’m such a git, you meant your younger self.” Y/N laughed at that, her heart lifting with the goofiness of the old Sirius relieving an ache in her heart that she had had for so long. Not that old (it felt weird to say that) Sirius had been anything less than silly and snarky, but it was never directed towards her. It was nice to have the resemblance of their old relationship back, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. “I suppose that you’re okay. You didn’t see, well, your big moment on the field, but at this point Lily has probably opened her big, fat mouth and told you. N.E.W.T.s are just finishing up, so you’re much more light-hearted than during the study season.”

“I really did have a stick up my arse during exam time, you always told me to loosen up-”

“Y/N, cut out the small talk, I think it’s okay for me to ask how and what is happening.” Sirius cut in.

So she told him. Y/N had always been upfront with people about everything. Or rather, she had learned how to be upfront with people after her and Sirius’ divorce. Without details of the deaths, she explained how she was sent back into the past to fix it in some conceivable way. However, she did tell him about the fall out. Maybe she wanted him to understand her pain, even though it was a younger him, but she had to admit to herself that it was because she just wanted Sirius, in whatever form life gave her to hear out her grievances and apologies.

Since her Sirius was dead before she could.

“We’re divorced?” Sirius looked about ready to break down into tears, almost as if the concept of them breaking up or separating was foreign to him. “What exactly did we fight over, Y/N? That doesn’t seem normal for the two of us.” Sirius asked.

“Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a normal predicament for us. either…”

Sirius slammed the door shut, efficiently pinning her against it with his white button up ruffled up, navy tie hanging from his neck loosely. Y/N’s arms were held down tightly against the oak wood, the sensation of the cold door burning into her rather warm skin making her squeal. Her husband’s tongue worked its way through her parted lips, low groans rising from the back of his throat from the way she moaned in tandem with his hips pushing into hers. Legs wrapped around his tapered waist, the pink, floral skirt Y/N wore rising high on her thighs, revealing more of her flesh to the lust-filled man. Both of their giggles echoed off the hallway walls of their small cottage home, just four miles west of their best friends’.

As the twenty year-old man threw his wife unceremoniously on the bed, he shed himself of his shirt and swiftly unbuttoned his slacks, throwing them haphazardly across the room. Merlin, Y/N looked ethereal laying spread out on the bed, panties around her left ankle, swollen lips parted with short puffs of air leaving them. “You just get right down to business, don’t you, Black.”

Crawling over his body, his hot breath hit her neck as he growled against her skin. “Could say the same thing about you, darling.” Sirius’ lips made their way down every inch, every curve, nook, and cranny of Y/N’s body, smoothly slipping her clothes off as he did so. Her sweet gasps filled the bedroom, back arching off the bed to meet his chest. “I’m going to put a baby in you tonight, sweetheart, we’re-”

Y/N sat up straight, her eyebrows trained in confusion at her husband. “What? A baby?”

Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest. “Yes.” He remarked in a clipped tone. “Is that not what you wanted?”

Her mind recalled her words from earlier that day, as she chatted happily with Lily about the news of her pregnancy. “Siri, I said I may one day enjoy having a kid of my own. Not right now, of course, but later. After all, we only got married a few months ago, don’t you think we should hold off a bit on that? We’re twenty years-old, Siri, there’s so many years for that.”

Rage filled Sirius’ blood like a spreading fire. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much about his anger as it was his hurt and fear. Fear that she had realized how fucked up he truly was, fear that she realized what he had known all along- that she deserved better than him. “So you don’t want a baby with me?”

“I never said I didn’t want that, Sirius, I just said that I’m not ready!” Y/N yelled back. At this point both of them stood on opposite sides of the bed, faces hot with tears. “We’re in the middle of a bloody war, people we know, people we love, have lost their lives, and it is not the ideal environment to raise a child, Sirius! Just because James and Lily are ready to have one doesn’t mean that I am too!”

“When will you be ready, Y/N? When will it ever be enough time for you? When will I be enough for you?” The heartbroken girl tried to interject, but her voice was cut off by her husband’s quickly enough. Sirius climbed onto the bed, holding her chin harshly with one hand. “Tell me, did you ever want to be with me in the first place?”

“Yes, Sirius, of course I wanted to be with you.” His heart hurt looking at the love of his life in tears, but even that was able to melt his cold facade. “I love you more than anything in the world.”

“Then fucking prove it, Y/N.” With that declaration, he removed his hand from her face and gathered his clothes, slamming everything in their shared room as Y/N quivered, knees ready to buckle on the spot. “I’m going out, don’t wait up for me.”

As soon as the front door shut, she fell to the ground in tears, the laughter that once filled their home replaced with the sound of her shattered heart.

Y/N had done her best to not tear up during her explanation of the events that had taken that night, but Sirius' eyes watered, refusing to believe the truth. “No. No. I didn’t do that. Y/N, tell me,” he gripped her biceps with trembling hands, “please tell me I didn’t really do that. I can’t believe that I-I, that I-”

“You were drunk, Sirius, I don’t think you truly knew what you were saying at the time.” She sighed, “But people always say that drunken words are just sober thoughts.” Y/N rubbed her arms, just shivering slightly in the Scotland breeze. “You came back two hours later punching the wall and breaking it, and that’s when I knew that we wouldn’t last.”

The raven-haired boy’s head started to shake, even more mortified of the actions that his future self, the man he’d be in just two years' time, had done. “I packed up my things, not that there were many, we’d only moved into the house a month before, left, and I sent the divorce papers a week later. It was probably better that way, you would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t done it first.” Y/N had gotten used to telling her sob story to colleagues at Beauxbatons, to her family, but it felt different with pre-divorce Sirius. Of course, she had never thought she’d be in this citation either, so no one could really blame her for feeling weird. “You signed them easily, and my lawyer made sure that I never had to see you again.” Until Lily and James died.

“Until…” Sirius led on.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius, you’ve always been able to read my mind. Shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” He smiled at the sentiment, gesturing for her to continue. “I can’t tell you, Sirius, I hope you can understand that.”

“Why, Y/N, what happens that can be any worse in the future?” Oh dear, Sirius, you really do not want the answer to that question. She needed any way out of this conversation, after all running away was what she did best, and her eyes already searched for several routes to which she could run. Not that Y/N could ever outrun Sirius in his animagus form, but it was nice to have the belief that she could. The boy sensed her distress and grabbed hold of her hand. “You don’t have to tell me, darling, but I have to admit that I am a bit worried, just in the slightest.”

Y/N let herself calm down, squeezing Sirius’ hand and noticing his watch. She had actually given him that watch, gold-plated and dark grey metal, but it wasn’t the beauty of the gift that caught her eye, but rather the actual time on it. One-thirty.

How had that much time gone by so quickly? She was going to be sucked into the black void of time travel again in ten minutes, and that wasn’t nearly enough time to unload nearly twenty years worth of history onto Sirius. No, he would go insane from that much knowledge, which was exactly against what Malia had advised.

“I don’t have enough time to tell you everything that happens in the future, Sirius. But what I am about to tell you is vital, absolutely vital for the good of all of us in the future.” Sirius nodded with a serious sort of smile on his face. “Don’t let Peter be Lily and James’ secret keeper. When the time comes that they move away, I’m not going to tell you where yet, do not under any circumstances let Peter be their secret keeper. I know he’s one of our best friends right now, and do not tell anyone about this, but he’s going to betray us in the worst way possible.”

While Sirius was shocked, he nodded solemnly and ran a hand through his long hair. “I won’t tell anyone, Y/N. Can I fix us, Y/N? I don’t know if you should be letting the key to a happier future rest in my hands.”

“I full heartedly trust that you’ll do some good, whatever the outcome may be. As for fixing us, I hope you can, but depending on what happens we’ll just have to wait and see.” She sighed, “If you want my opinion on it, I think that we both should have waited longer to get married. It was right after James and Lily got married, but we aren’t and never will be them. We both had a lot of growing up to do, so I would take it slowly. Communicate your wants and needs in the relationship and in the end it may not even be us together. But I know you, Siri, don’t let this get in the way of your entire life. The most important part is that you tell James and Lily about Peter.”

She glanced back up the school grounds where students could start to be seen leaving their classes. “You better get back to the castle, Sirius. McGonagall is going to come for your arse and this time the boys aren’t going to be able to cover for you.”

“If they knew where I was, darling, I don’t even think they’d believe me.” Sirius chuckled.

Y/N nodded in agreement and pulled Sirius into a tight hug. “You can do this, sweetheart, and even if you can’t, it will not stop me from loving you any less. Maybe the future wasn’t meant to be changed, but regardless of whether that is true or not, I know that you will try your hardest, Sirius. Just try not to die, okay?”

The boy was still clutching onto her tightly, his tears soaking her rose-colored blouse. “I’ll do my best, darling.”

With one last kiss on the forehead, she smiled at him. “I know you will, Siri.”

Y/N’s arse hit the floor once again, her spine cracking once again. “What’s the year?” She yelled out, reaching for the walls of the black family room.

But it wasn’t there. Upon opening her eyes, she saw James, Lily, and Sirius sitting at a wooden table in her old white cottage. A nice tea set, her grandmother’s as she realized later, sat in the center, along with a large stack of letters. “Y/N, what the bloody hell happened to you, I’ve been worried sick!”

Her red-headed best friend scurried over to her, brushing invisible dirt off her shoulders and pulling her up abruptly. James fixed the glasses on his nose, cleaning them off with his striped jumper. “You look a little disheveled right now, Y/N, what ran you over?”

“You know who she reminds me of right now, Jamie? That crazy witch friend of Dumbledore’s that made her way onto campus back in seventh year.” Lily giggled as she hugged Y/N.

“Merlin’s beard, you’re right!” James walked over to the woman of the hour, ruffling her hair with a smirk on his face. “If you were about twenty years older I’d have no trouble believing you were the same person.”

While Lily and James recalled their memories from the strange woman all those years ago at Hogwarts, Sirius pulled Y/N aside, an arm wrapped around her waist. The warmth radiating from his body was nice, embracing her in a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

“I’m going to go ahead and believe that I did something right?” Sirius grabbed her hand, and only then did she notice the coolness of metal sitting on her left ring finger. There sat the single band of gold, a small ruby encased in its plating. She had once joked that diamonds were too overrated, and he went out and got her the most vibrant gem he could find, claiming that it was just like her. But regardless of its shape, size, or type of gem, it was there.

“Yeah, Siri,” Y/N replied with tears in her eyes, “you did good.”

“Oi, Blacks, stop making out and get over here, we got a letter from Minnie!” James yelled, making both wives chuckle. “Harry’s gotten himself in detention for punching Malfoy again.”

“Oh, thank Merlin, the boy deserves a few more good hits.” Sirius laughed.

“McGonagall still talks to us?” Y/N asked in amazement. “You’ve got to get me caught up.”

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sirius gently placed his lips onto hers, and for once in nearly twenty years, Y/N felt at peace. There were no more hasty warnings of the future, no psychotic old men coming after her family, no young girls rushing in to tell her how to fix her screwed up life. Cracked, pink lips moving against her own, his tongue delving into her mouth, and Y/N knew she was finally off the clock.

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shig-a-shig-ah · 2 years

Note

Good luck with your grading!

And for the astrology asks: Pluto + Descendant ❣️

astrology ask game

Thank you, and thanks for playing! I'm so behind on grading discussion posts and there's so many of them, but I'm hoping I'll survive lmao.

descendant ⇢ what kind of people do you usually attract?

I do not know the nice way to say this but, uh... people with issues, lol. Like I have frequently and (I think) accurately described myself as hopelessly well-adjusted, but I swear to god everyone I know has major mental health issues. And I don't mean that to be rude or anything--obviously I love and support them and it's partly a product of just living in such a fucked up society--but it is definitely a pattern and I'm not quite sure what the deal is or how that happens.

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

Okay, this is a little long so I'm putting it under a read more. Most of it's actually just context, but whatever--I love to talk about this place.

So when I was nineteen, I lived in this pretty sketchy house. And part of the sketchiness was the people I lived there with, which included my on-and-off-tweaker, not-quite-boyfriend at the time and a few of his friends, but another part was the house itself. Not only was the place super old (at least 100 years, which wasn't super common where I lived), but it also had a really strange situation with one of the rooms. It was a two story house, and very back bedroom on the second floor had this half-sized door at the back of the closet that was clumsily boarded up when they moved in (think literally just a couple two-by-fours nailed over the door, plus a padlock through the latch).

The landlord also specifically told them not to fuck with that door when they first moved in, but this is a bunch of early-20s kids who like to party, so of course it took all of a week for them to get really high and decide that they needed to know what was behind the mystery door. As it turns out, the door itself didn't lead initially lead anywhere too wild--it actually went out onto this little platform in the garage, which shared a wall with this bedroom. So basically, if you were in the garage, you could see what looked like a loft area for storage, but the angle and the way it was set up was such that you wouldn't be able to see the door if you were just standing on the garage floor, but it would've been visible if you like, got a ladder to store stuff up there.

What was, weird, however, was that it turned out that loft area wasn't just a storage area. There was actually a set of stairs running down one side that also wouldn't be visible unless you'd either 1) gone through the forbidden door or 2) gotten a ladder to actually look up there. The stairs led down to a trapdoor, which in turn led into an unfinished basement--literally just a dirt floor, concrete walls, a couple support pillars, and a single lightbulb hanging from the ceiling.Slightly spooky on its own but also potentially just a very strange storage setup thanks to it be an old house and all. The thing that took this from slightly spooky to full creepy is that there was exactly one (1) thing in this basement--an old foldable metal mattress frame (think like this, but obviously old) with no mattress.

Now, there are a couple of things that were creepy about finding nothing but a bed frame down inside a spooky basement. First is the obvious implication that someone was sleeping down there at some point. Second is that, in this case, there wasn’t even a good way to believe it was incidental--that it just got put down there to get it out of the way--because the trapdoor was narrower than this bed frame. Either the bed frame was in the basement before that trapdoor was there, or someone went through the trouble of assembling it down in the basement.

Now, nothing ever came of that--it’s really just to set the scene and give some additional context about the house’s weirdness, and to maybe add some weight when I tell you that basically everyone who ever lived in this place believed that it was haunted. I only lived there for a couple months before I met my husband and got into a way better situation, but when I moved in all the other roommates, past and present (because there were many of them and even the ones who’d moved out still came around to hang out) had some paranormal experience. Most of them were mundane, or easy to brush off as either old house stuff, or flights of imagination. Common stories included doors shutting on their own (could be the old, uneven house or poor insulation), hearing footsteps (house settling noises or old pipes, perhaps), and people going down into the murder basement to find that the bed frame down there had moved, for example by going from being open to folded up. (People honestly went down there semi-regularly, because everyone who came over for the first time wanted to see the creepy secret basement.)

I did not experience any of that, but I did have one tiny, maybe supernatural experience that made me at least raise an eyebrow. Me and my not-boyfriend came home one day to find one of the other roommates there by himself, all freaked out, and the minute we ask what’s up he tells us a story that’s pretty aligned with other stuff people had experienced. Basically, he was home alone all afternoon, and had been hanging out in his bedroom upstairs. Now, this house had a door at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the second floor, and he told us how he’d specifically left that door open so he could hear if anyone showed up, because yet another part of the general sketchiness of this place was that the front door was basically never locked, and people--guests included--just kind of came and went as they pleased.

So. Roommate is sitting up in his room, and hears a door slam. When no one comes up the stairs, he gets up to go investigate, and--importantly--has to open the door at the bottom of the stairs when he goes down. He finds no one there, and only then realizes that the door he’d left open was closed when he came downstairs. He then tells us that shortly after this, the baseball bat he’d had propped up against the wall in his bedroom fell over.

Now, he thinks this is all some supernatural thing. I, a skeptic, am more skeptical. It’s an old house, the foundation is probably uneven and there’s drafts. I figure the door just shut on its own because of something like that, and that his baseball bat falling over is even flimsier evidence of anything supernatural because, you know, it’s round-ish and not exactly the most stable kind of thing to have propped up somewhere.

But also, as he’s telling us this story, said baseball bat is propped in the corner of his room. It’s not just leaning against the wall, but tucked in the corner, and as my not-boyfriend and I are expressing our skepticism, said baseball bat falls over, but not in the way you would expect for how it was positioned? Instead of the bottom of the bat sliding along the floor, it fell away from the wall? It’s very hard to describe so have these shitty doodles I did once while trying to explain this to someone else.The top one is how you’d expect it to fall over, and the bottom one is what actually happened--it was basically like someone tapped the back of the bat near the top to send it falling straight away from the corner.

So, what you’d expect to happen:

And what actually happened:

I am still not convinced this was completely supernatural, but I will admit that with the general vibe of the house, and the timing of it happening, I had to raise to an eyebrow. And honestly, that place in general just had terrible vibes and I love talking about it. So, I hope you enjoyed this meandering tale.

#astrology asks #putridsimp #ghuleh.plays

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crystal-snowing · 3 years

Text

forbidden fruit | lee felix

synopsis: you were told to stay away by your parents and the rest of society, but that was nearly impossible when he just looks so goddamn irresistible.

genre: enemies to lovers!au, gang!au, college!au, angst, fluff

pairing: rich!reader x gangster!felix

word count: 15.9k

warnings: slight violence, explicit language, mentions kidnapping

a/n: i’ve been thinking about writing a longer fic for quite some time now and i think i went a bit overboard on this one, but i hope you guys enjoy in nevertheless ! also special thanks to @crscendoforsung, mwah soro !

one.

If there was one thing that your parents warned you about, it was to stay away from Stray Kids, also known as the most prominent and dangerous gang in the city. This warning was drilled into your head ever since you were a young child, as you were told two things, to stay away from the south side of town and to never associate with known members of this gang. They were two simple rules to follow, and for the past nineteen years of your life, those were two simple rules to follow. And up until last year, you were proud to say that you have never seen or associated with one of those things. But that all changed in your senior year of high school. A new mayor was recently elected to govern the city and insisted on fixing the abnormal disparity between the extremely wealthy and the extremely poor, while this mostly included building new luxury apartment complexes and stores in the less fortunate side of town. However, there was one policy that enraged your parents and the rest of those on the privileged side of town—that the next school year, the mayor was taking eight students from the other side of town and having them enroll in your prestigious school system for the remainder of their educational journey.

No amount of protesting or defiance from your parents or the rest of the community could possibly persuade the mayor to change his mind, and just like that it was done, your entire world would be forever changed.

It was your first semester at college, and on top of that, it was also the first semester of for the new students to be admitted onto your side of town. That day was vividly etched in your memory, your parents helping you pack your bags into the car, hugging you goodbye and giving you a final reminder to not cause any trouble while you’re there. They didn’t need to say it, but you knew that the words were on the tip of their tongue. The essence of that phrase surrounded you and practically swallowed you, it was in the way they squeezed just a little too tightly or the way their gaze lingered on you a little too long as the car finally pulled out of the driveway and you waved goodbye.

This was your promise to them, and the only promise that you needed to keep—no matter the circumstances, you were not allowed to associate or be near any of those gang members.

However, you had to admit that there was some alluring about them. They were the talk of the entire campus, even among the freshmen class, the campus was alive with their arrival. Of course, they stood out from every other student on campus, and when they were walking it was the parting of the Red Sea, every other student making space (either out of fear or shock) to allow them to pass through. Dressed in all black, hoods on and masks covering their entire face except their eyes—they were the epitome of a notorious gang. Even though they passed by you for only a second, they had already piqued your interest, but you had made a promise and you were not willing to let some scum destroy everything that you and your parents have worked so hard for. You were determined and nothing was going to stand in your way, after going through twelve years of schooling and enduring the countless tutors and towers of textbooks, you worked your ass to get to where you are today. And you would be damned if you allowed a few lowlifes to stand in your way, after all, no matter how educated they become they wouldn’t be able to change the fact that they were nothing but garbage from the other side of town—in the end, they would never be able to change who they truly are.

That incident was only a small one in comparison to the many that happened that day. You had almost forgotten to remind yourself that it was also your first day of college as well, and soon the memory of early this morning was soon forgotten in the sea of other memories and experiences that happened the rest of that morning. The orientation was brief, the dean’s speech ending with a round of applause as the entire freshman class was soon released to go to classes and begin to adjust to the campus lifestyle. It was kind of stuffy and crowded inside the auditorium and you were glad that all the boring formalities were over and done with, finally you were able to go to your classes and escape the large mass of people. You stood from the velour red chair and your way outside, where the sunlight and the fresh air felt good against your skin after spending nearly two hours in the dark auditorium.

It was only when you made eye contact with one of them, did your heart really snap out of your dazed state. Your eyes were not fully adjusted to the bright sunlight and for a moment you could have been mistaken about who or what you could have seen, but you soon realized that there was no mistaking the all black clothes that he adorned or his slightly dyed strawberry blond hair. He was standing furthest from the group of three other boys that were also dressed from head-to-toe in the dark color, and while you could have chosen to make eye contact with any of the four boys, he stood out to you the most. And there it was again, this feeling of intrigue—attraction, as he stood less than seven feet away from you.

The two of you couldn’t have been staring at each other for more than a few seconds, when one of his friends slapped on the head, calling out his name and making a joke that you couldn’t really make out from where you were standing. Just like that, the spell was broken and as you glanced at your phone for the time, you realized that you were running late for class. You watched as his friends bid him goodbye before walking off in the opposite direction, and before you could believe that everything that happened in the past few seconds was just a dream, his warm brown eyes once again made eye contact with your own [E/C] eyes. Clearing your throat, you whipped your head around and immediately began walking away from the mysterious boy and towards your first class of the day, the object that was supposed to capture more of your attention compared to this insignificant delinquent. And while it was possible to convince yourself that the awkward encounter that just took place between you and that strawberry blond boy was nothing out of the ordinary, the reddening of your cheeks definitely told a different story.

It had only been a few minutes since you arrived in the lecture hall, while you were not the first one to enter, you certainly weren’t late which was honestly all that mattered to you. Taking out your phone, you decided to scroll through some of your social media pages in order to pass the time, and you were barely a minute into your Instagram feed when you felt a presence sit down next to you. Glancing up from your screen, you were met with a wall of black clothing. Upon a closer inspection, you could see that he was wearing a black leather jacket, a white cotton t-shirt, black jeans, and a black mask covering half of his face. His skin was pale, but had an entire galaxy of freckles that decorated his nose and cheeks, and his eyes were a warm shade of espresso brown.

“Excuse me?”

Sparing you only a glance, he pulled out his phone and tapped the screen, before pulling out one of his airpods before looking at you again, only then did you have his full attention. There was honestly no way to approach this without sounding rude, but you had no other choice, and honestly he happened to be quite fortunate that it was you giving him this lecture instead of other students, who wouldn’t hesitate to rip him to shreds compared to you who was doing your best to try at least be semi-polite and give him some useful advice in order to survive in this new world.

“There are tons of seats in this hall and I was wondering if you could maybe not sit next to me? Considering that we don’t know each other and how much I enjoy my personal space and I would appreciate it if you could maybe move a couple chairs down or maybe a whole another row—” your polite speech was interrupted by his low but hearty laugh, as he removed his face mask to reveal his plump pink lips.

“So let me get this straight, you want me to move my seat since you believe, and I quote, ‘am violating your personal space’?” he paused, cocking one of his eyebrows with a smirk sitting on his lips, “sweetheart, if it bothers you that much, how about you get up and move yourself?”

You were absolutely flabbergasted to say the least, and couldn’t believe that someone like him had the audacity to even suggest something like that to someone like you. His attention had refocused back on the device in front of him, and it was clear that by his demeanor that he wasn’t going to be moving any time soon and you were stuck next to him for the remainder of class. This left you with two options, either move and give him the satisfaction of successfully bullying you into submission or stay exactly where you are and stand your ground against a brat like him. And with a small huff, you released your grip on your bag and the rest of your belongings before crossing your arms and focusing on your phone once again. There was no way in hell were you going to give this asshole the satisfaction of seeing you pissed off, instead you stood your ground and watched as the professor finally stood at the center of the room and quieted the class down in order to begin his introduction.

And for the rest of the class out of the corner of your eyes, you couldn’t help but see that smirk envelop the lips of the boy sitting next to you, the very sight of it making your blood boil and your face flushed. Whoever this boy was you were certain of only one thing, he was nothing but an arrogant prick.

two.

The cafe across the street from your dorm has become one of your favorite places on the entire campus, especially when you needed to study. Not only did they have the best drinks on campus, the pastries were to die for, and every time you walked through the doors you were reminded of that as the sweet smell of cinnamon and sugar filled your nose. Cafe 4419 was never too noisy nor was it ever too quiet, the lo-fi playlist and soft murmur from the patrons made it one of your favorite sanctuaries to stay apart from your dorm.

While it was only a few weeks into college, half of the first semester has already flown by and you were practically swimming in essays, projects and studying for upcoming tests. Which is how you found yourself here, spending almost every waking second at the cafe with your favorite drink by your side and piles of textbooks and papers towered around you. Anybody passing by would have immediately assumed that it was finals season, instead of simply being just an ordinary test during the first semester. But you were serious about your academics and grades, and you were not about to let something ruin your concentration that you had going for you.

This was the one place where you could also find an escape from those people. Everywhere else around campus that you seemed to find yourself, it was only a matter of minutes before you were humbly graced with their presence. They seemed to be everywhere and the only two places on campus where you seemed to be safe from them was your own dorm room and this cafe. In a way it sort of is your sanctuary, one of the few places where you didn’t have to see their depressing black clothing, scowling faces or even hear about their very being. Instead, it was just you, your textbooks, notes, and computer—the way it should be, and you were experiencing nothing but pure bliss.

And that moment was completely shattered, when the screech of the stool across the wooden floors next to you and the slamming of an iced coffee of some sort onto the table.

Glaring up at the perpetrator, you weren’t surprised to be faced with a wall of black clothing, including the infamous leather jacket. As your eyes traveled higher up, you were finally met with a pair of brown eyes and a cocky expression looking down on you. Him. The same boy who had the audacity to sit right next to you during your first lecture, currently has the audacity to interrupt your precious study time. His appearance was practically unchanged since the last time you saw him less than a week ago, his strawberry blond hair was a bit more faded than before but his irises still sparkled with that same mischievous and playful glint.

“Fancy running into you here,” he smirked, moving to sit down next to you. His thigh was quick to press up against your own, as you flinched—moving your leg away as if you were being burned. He didn’t acknowledge your actions, instead his eyes seemed to be locked onto your own, scanning over your facial features as if he was studying and reading your every move and expression.

“What do you want?”

He put his hands in surrender attempting to show you that he means no harm and that he’s not a threat, but with that sparkle in his eyes and that sly expression never leaving his face.

“I know we kind of started off on the wrong foot, but I was hoping that we could fix that” he paused, stretching out his hand, “I’m Lee Felix,” he introduced himself with a wink. It was nice to finally put a name to the face, but in all honesty, you didn’t really give a damn about what his name was or were you curious about what he wanted from you. Apparently, it was too much for you to ask him to leave you alone, either that or he was too dense to get the hint.

“Alright, Felix, as much as I enjoyed resolving that little issue, I’m extremely busy. So, if you wouldn’t mind?”

Shooting him one final glare, you assumed that this was the end of the conversation between the two of you, and all you needed to do was to wait for him to leave and refocus back on the mountains of papers in front of you. However, you were naive to think that this was the end of your conversation, and as far as you could tell with Lee Felix, he always needed to have the last word.

‘You know, my feelings were deeply hurt the day we met, and I think it’s only fair for you to make it up to me,” something in his tone of voice shifted causing you to whip your head in his direction and away from the studyguide in front of you. This should have been a major red flag, a glaring neon sign starring right in front of you, but you would be lying if you didn’t say that he intrigued you. Perhaps it was your upbringing, or maybe it was the incessant warnings about people like him, you weren’t sure—the only thing you knew in that moment, for once in your life, he had your undivided attention. “My grades are kind of slipping and in order to keep this scholarship and stay at this ‘prestigious’ school they need to be a bit higher,” he paused before flashing you a blinding smile, “so I was thinking that you could tutor me and we could really spend some more time getting to know one another,” he finished before ending his proposal with a wink.

You had to give it to him, the dirtbag had guts.

The confidence and ego that seemed to ooze out of him was unbelievable and it was hard to believe that people like him still existed. And just like that, you were once again uninterested in the boy sitting in front of you.

“Is that all? I think you already know my answer to that question, now if you could excuse me,” rolling your eyes, you wave him off with a dismissive flick of your wrist. Of course, you should have expected that this wasn’t all that he had planned, he wasn’t known for being a quitter especially when it came to people like you. The two of you were more similar than either of you cared to realize and unbeknownst to you, Lee Felix was determined not to walk out here without having your number in his back pocket and a promise that you were going to see him again. Instead, he did what he did best—completely disregard what he’s been told and follow his instincts.

“Think about this for a moment, the infamous and obviously talented child of the [L/N] refusing to help a poor and unfortunate boy like me, surely that won’t make a great impression on the professors or even the media once they catch word of this,” he shrugged letting the weight of words sink in. You hated to admit it, but he was right. Your family was powerful, but in exchange for that power, every single thing that you did was scrutinized—your daily lives constantly under the microscope. While it was considerably bad press to be seen around people like him, especially with the amount of warnings that you received from your parents as well as other members in the community, there was no denying that it was perhaps even worse press for you to completely ignore and reject him. “It’s really up to you, princess/prince.”

You had no choice, and he knew it.

“Fine, I’ll tutor you,” you turned away from him for a second to grab a pen before scribbling your phone number on a piece before ripping it off and handing it to him. Before he could take it from your hand, you snatched the piece of paper from out of his reach. “Just letting you know, I’m not doing this for you. Meet me at the library on Friday and make sure you’re not late.”

Grabbing the slip of paper out your hand, and his drink in the other, he stood and made his way towards the door. You couldn’t help but watch him go, a frown present on your face. With a final wink, he was gone and out the door, and you could finally relax and relieve all the tension that was built up in your shoulders. Mentally scolding yourself, you wondered how the hell you even ended up in a situation like this, in a matter of only weeks you managed to break the only promise to your parents and somehow make acquaintances with one of the very people that you swore to hate.

At this point it was useless to try and study, there was no way that you could possibly study after a distraction like that. Gathering your materials, before haphazardly shoving them into your bag, and grabbing your drink and walking out of the cafe door. The weather was transitioning between autumn and winter, the brisk air blew against your face as you walked, your mind replaying everything that happened within the span of a few minutes.

Scoffing to yourself, you shook your head as you made your way back to your dorm. Fine, if Lee Felix wanted to make an enemy out of you, then so be it, and from this day forward you were determined to make his life a living hell.

three.

After sitting in the library for almost half an hour, you were about a millimeter away from losing your shit. As usually the library was pretty quiet and the only noises that could be heard were the faint rustling of papers and the dull hum of the heater. You had threatened him not to be late, and you had even promised him that you would leave if he was even a minute late, but somehow you found yourself sitting at one of the many wooden tables in the gigantic library tapping your pencil impatiently. You should leave, that much was obvious, but there was some part of you that was holding onto hope that he was going to show. Standing up, you scolded yourself for being so foolish, you were smarter than this—you were smarter than him—but somehow you allowed yourself to end up in this situation, again.

“Sorry I’m late, princess/prince, I got caught up with a few things.”

You didn’t even hear him approach, but as you turned around you were met with his figure. It seemed like his entire wardrobe was composed of only dark clothing, his outfit pretty much the same as it was less than four days ago. The only difference was the gold chain that he adorned around his neck, which was a stark contrast compared to his black clothing. He noticed how your eyes seemed to be drawn to the flashy object, before he quickly placed the object underneath his shirt and cleared his throat. However, there was something different about his appearance than before, his hair was a bit messier and tousled than usual, his skin glistened and was a bit more flushed, and there were visible red or pink marks that littered his neck.

Oh.

That realization finally seemed to draw you from your daze, as you stared back at him, your steely [E/C] eyes met his mahogany ones. Under your gaze his eyes seemed to soften a bit and it wasn’t until he saw your arms crossed against your chest did he realize the gravity of his mistake.

“You’re late,” you practically growled, “if you’re not going to take this seriously then fine, I told you not to waste my time and if you’re going to be a piece of—”

Felix’s hard and once impenetrable exterior was suddenly cracked by the fierceness and fire that shone in your eyes, only then did he feel some sort of small pang inside his hair. This was an entirely foreign feeling to him, and even stranger was that you were the one causing him to feel this way. For his entire life he has been dealing with people like you, those that dripped with wealth and decadence, but he knew that there was a hidden evil within them. The facade was only a ploy to distract from the devil inside of them—they were malicious, unforgiving, monsters that from day one have done nothing but persecute people like him. People like him were rendered powerless against the people like them, kicked to the desolate part of town and condemned to live a life of misfortune and suffering. Felix knew exactly what to say that would make your blood boil, that would aggravate you till you wouldn’t be able to stand the mention of his name, he knew exactly what to do to make you despise him even more, and yet his mouth and words failed him.

For once, he didn’t know what to say, so he instead slammed his books down on the table—the sound echoing in the almost silent library. A sound like that was bound to have repercussions, and the glares and disgusted looks you received was enough to force you into submission. You should have just walked out of the door, but going against your better judgement and rationale, you decided to stay. Sitting down, you pulled the textbooks and notebooks from your bag as Felix sat next to you taking out his own materials. Flipping the book to the first page, you pointed at the first problem.

“Let’s start with this problem first and make sure you show all your work,” you gestured to the first of many problems in the workbook, “oh, and if you’re ever late again because of some dick appointment, I’ll make sure that every single person on this campus knows how small that four inch dick of yours really looks like.”

After that, the two of you seemed to fall into a comfortable rhythm. There was minimal talking between the two of you, coming to the mutual agreement that you were only here for one purpose and one purpose only. But, just because he stopped bickering with you for once didn’t necessarily make your job any easier. There wasn’t really any nice way to put it, but he was horrible at everything. It was expected of course, unlike the other students that attended the prestigious JYP University he didn’t need to pass the rigorous entrance exam nor did he need extremely high grades in high school. You had your work cut out for you, but you weren’t one to back down from a challenge. But that didn’t mean that Felix was going to make it easy on you.

While you have tutored other students in the past before, you could safely say that none of them were quite like Lee Felix. Never have you met someone so unmotivated and lazy. He was the one who was practically begged for your help, and now he’s sitting here with his head resting against his arm absentmindedly doodling in the margins of the book.

“Look, if you’re not going to take this seriously then what are we even doing here? You’re just wasting my time and your own,” you huffed, tapping your pen harshly against the workbook to stir the strawberry blond from his thoughts. “At least you could pretend to do the work that I’m assigning you, instead of blatantly ignoring everything I say.”

That grabbed his attention, as he sat up straighter and stretched his arms over his head as he rolled his eyes. “That’s easy for you to say when you’ve had everything handed to you all of your life. I bet you don’t even understand what it’s like to have to work hard for something, princess/prince,” he scoffed. Your head snapped in his direction, his words echoing in your head.

What the fuck did he just say to you?

“You think I’ve had it easy, well newsflash, princess/price, you’re not the only one whose had a hard life. Yes, privilege does exist but don’t you even think for a damn second that I haven’t worked in order to get here to this university. Just because you were admitted on a scholarship and without taking the entrance exam, doesn’t mean that it was the case for everybody,” you huffed as you stood up, causing an abrupt noise as the chair slid against the wooden floors. “My parents used their money to buy their way through life, but there is only so much money can buy. And if you really think that I bought my way into the school, then why did you even ask me to tutor you in the first place?”

Your last outburst received the nastiest glares from the other students around the both of you, and if looks could kill you would have been dead over ten times over. But at the moment you couldn’t care less, this was your final farewell—your final “go-fuck-yourself” to Lee Felix so you could finally be rid of this parasite. With the last slam of your chair, you turned away from the male and made your hasty escape towards the exit of the library.

If you ever saw him again before the year was over, it would be too soon.

four.

This year was probably the year of firsts for Lee Felix, in addition to meeting you he was also beginning to experience these foreign emotions that came along with you. In no way shape or form was he a bully, instead he often had some certain choice words for those that exhibited egotistical and arrogant qualities—and in his defense, they were usually the ones who started it. He was known for his unforgiving nature, after all, there was no way he could live the lifestyle he did without being this way. This feeling of guilt and regret was new for him, in his opinion what he said to you wasn’t even the worst thing to make it past those lips, yet the look of fiery passion and hurt that was written across your features was enough to make him think twice. He felt apologetic, even though he practically spits poison every day to people like you, something about you attracted him, pulled him in and made you different.

That being said, he was horrible at apologizing.

Which was why when you could feel a presence next to you during the next lecture, you didn’t even bat an eyelash. Nor did you even dare to look at him as he slammed something down on your desk, before turning away and mumbling to himself. Upon further inspection, you found a Coke can sitting untouched and unopened with a note taped to the front with two simple words written on it.

I’m sorry.

Rolling your eyes, you glanced to the right where you knew he would be sitting with some of his other friends. They were always the ones making the most noise in the class, treating the lecture as a study hall instead of an opportunity for growth and maturation. You could spot three of them easily, their freshly dyed hair sticking out sorely in the sea of neutral colors. They were too far away for you to tell what they were talking about, but their gleeful expressions and smiles etched on their faces probably meant that they were up to no good. You could spot Felix immediately, he distanced himself from his group of friends. While he still engaged in the conversation, he was passive, his brown eyes dull as his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

This was the first time that you have seen the fire extinguished from his eyes, and he looked so goddamn pitiful. As if he could sense your eyes, his face turned to meet yours, his eyes catching you red-handed. His expression was complex, to say the least. On the one hand, all traces of remorse and regret seemed to disappear completely and was replaced with another emotion that you couldn’t read. Furiously you turned away from him, your cheeks dusted with a pink hue. Thankfully, before he could manage to approach you the professor entered at the front of the room and began the lecture, your thoughts now becoming full of Shakespeare’s prose and the impact of foil characters in Romeo and Juliet, leaving no room to worry about that imbecile.

You had to admit, Lee Felix definitely did have some charms. If he didn’t have something at least, then there would be no reason why you found yourself sitting next to him in this empty lecture hall, the both of you sprawled over notebooks and countless works of Shakespeare at your disposal. You should be mad at him, furious even, he was nothing but a good-for-nothing gangster who had the audacity to insult you—but here you were, crawling back to him. But, even through his shitty apology you somehow found it hard to stay away. He was dangerous, the closest thing that you had to breaking the rules and to give him up would be bringing your life back to normalcy—uneventful, boring and you would be damned if you ever had to give him up and return to life before. As infuriating as he was, he came into your life like a whirlwind and while at times he made your life a living hell, you kind of enjoyed his presence.

Of course you were wary about tutoring him again, but your fear was soon quelled by the fact that his personality seemed to have done a complete flip from the day before. Not only was he attentive, but it just goes to show that if he would just sit down and put his ego in check for a second, then maybe he actually had a chance at succeeding at this school. With his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth nibbling softly on his lower lip as his hand moved quickly across the paper to solve the problem. His hair would continually fall in front of his eyes as he concentrated, and he kept swiping at it every so often. Your hand itches to reach away and brush away those stray locks, but you refrain yourself from doing so, instead opting to pick at your sleeve as you admired his expression.

“It’s getting late,” your voice sounded foreign against the silence, those three words being the first thing you have said to him in the past few hours. “Maybe we should call it a night, and continue next week.” He nodded, prying his eyes away from the rows of words in front of him, helping you gather your materials into one place and pack them into your bag. Wordlessly, you both pushed in your chairs before exiting the lecture hall together.

The walk outside was silent, while the previous argument didn’t necessarily still hang in the air, it’s presence was still made apparent due to the wall of tension between the two of you. The campus was softly being illuminated by the streetlights that littered the property, aided slightly by the moonlight that seemed to cast the entire scenery in a different light. There was something different about the university when the sun went down, while it certainly wasn’t a ghost town (the constant parties on campus made sure of that) it made the campus look almost softer and whimsical in a sense. The ancient buildings that were used as classrooms during the day time had transformed into castles, the streets practically shining when the moonlight sparkled on them and you—you felt as if you could rule it all.

You both stopped in front of a sleek black Harley Davidson, the motorcycle in pristine condition and didn’t have a single scratch on it. There was no denying how expensive this was, and for once it looked as if he actually belonged at this school with a ride like that. You knew this was where the two of you were meant to part ways. For you, it was back to the dormitories—hopefully being able to sneak in before room check and for him, back to his other life, doing whatever misfits like him do best by causing mischief and mayhem in the dead of night.

This was your cue to leave, turn on your heels and rush back to your dorm room, but you couldn’t help but stand there and watch him. Felix looked absolutely ethereal in the moonlight, his tan skin glowing and eyes sparkling—and you were entranced, watching him unclip the helmet from the handlebars of his motorcycle and holding it in his hands There was this unknown tightening in your chest, this foreign hitch in your breath, your hands growing clammy as the seconds continued to pass on.

“Here, put this on. I like to think that I’m a safe driver, but safety first,” his voice calls out to you, before the black helmet was tossed your way. Fumbling with the object for a few seconds, you finally caught it as your brain finished rebooting. As you looked down at the helmet, and back at him you were at a loss of words. “Well, are you coming or not? I don’t have all day, princess/prince.”

His head was cocked to the side, and while his words had a bit of bite to them, his expression is playful. You were supposed to be the rational one in this situation, and the “correct” answer was clearly staring you right in the face. You were old enough to take care of yourself, and you certainly didn’t need a dollar-store version of a knight in shining armor to take you home.

“I can make it back on my own, thanks for the offer—”

It took him two strides in order to make it over to you and a total of ten seconds to get you on the bike. Two seconds in order to yank the helmet out of your hands, three seconds to secure it on your head, three seconds to pull you onto the vehicle behind him and two seconds to wrap your arms loosely around his waist.

“Hold on tight.”

That was the last thing he uttered to you, before he revved the engine and the two of you sped off into the night. At this rate, it was too late to even think about getting off unless you wanted to seriously injure yourself. Instead, you opted for clinging onto his body and pressing yourself flat against his back as you held on for dear life. Immediately, you could feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach the moment the vehicle started, the wind practically making you deaf as the scenery of campus whipped around you in a blur. Yes, you were scared, after all you were riding around on a death trap with a boy that you barely know and who was currently in control of your life. Despite all of these factors, there was something exhilarating about riding with Felix. The feeling of your hair whipping around you, speeding through the empty streets of campus and the faint smell of sandalwood and lemon that emitted from him was intoxicating. And it was safe to say that you were drunk off this feeling.

By the time Felix pulled in front of your dorm room, you were still buzzed and your senses were working over time trying to process everything around you. It wasn’t long before reality washed harshly over you, removing your arms from his toned waist and scrambling off the bike, the helmet still sitting lop-sided on your head. Your whole body was aflame, every place where you made contact with him was burning and your heart was beating painfully loud against your chest.

“Thanks for the ride,” you muttered, clearing your throat, avoiding eye contact with him. He didn’t say anything in return, instead placing the break down on the motorcycle and walking over to you. His fingers brushed against your face as he unclipped the helmet, which sent a new wave of heat to rush to your cheeks, before he took the safety gear off you and tucked it under his arm. If you had blinked, you might have missed the way his eyes flitted over your lips, as he unconsciously licked his lips before turning on his heel and making his way back to his vehicle.

The only evidence that this wasn’t a dream and was real life was the faint smell of gasoline and the roar of a motorcycle in the distance, signalling his departure.

five.

Over the next few weeks, the two of you have met at the university’s cafe between eight and ten times for the purpose of studying. Granted, you both were studying (only because Felix knew you would have his head if he didn’t concentrate) but there was this underlying reason why you both kept coming back. His presence was like a drug, addicting and thrilling, and you couldn’t keep away. Both of you were chasing that high, the overwhelming feeling of euphoria and you were both relentless in reaching your goal. It started that night that he dropped you off at your dorm, and ever since then you’ve been hooked. His lips didn’t even manage to touch yours, and you were quite disappointed at this fact, but you weren’t going to let him go that easily, no if he wanted you to work for it, then so be it. And that’s how you found yourself, practically slaving away over textbooks all for him.

It has become a ritual for the two of you to linger outside of his lecture hall on exam day. He would always pick you up from your dorm that morning and take you to his classroom, where you would both wait until the very last second before leaving his presence. Time with him was precious, it was fleeting and you always wanted to spend just a second longer with him. He looked gorgeous in the sunlight as it tangled itself up in his locks of hair, bouncing off his dewy tan skin before capturing his entire body in its rays. A cup of coffee always in his left hand, while his right held onto a packet of stapled papers, his messy scrawling decorated the pages and there were a few places where your neat handwriting made an appearance as he recited some facts off the sheets.

“So, the whole point of having Fortinbras and just mentioning him in the play is to be a foil character for Hamlet?”

“Sort of, remember Fortinbras was also trying to take over Denmark as revenge for Hamlet murdering his father,” you reminded him, shaking your finger gently in front of his face. There was a teasing expression written on your face, and he returned it with a sneer of his own. You both stopped a couple of feet in front of the entrance of the classroom as he took the stack of papers before smacking his forehead with them, a groan escaping his lips.

“I give up, how about we ditch this exam and instead I’ll treat you to your favorite pastries at that bakery down the block,” he suggested, lifting the papers away from his face and giving you a dazzling smile. On any other person, by this point they would be putty in his hands and he would easily be able to have his way with them. But you knew better, and for the most part you would like to think that you were immune to his charms.

“Are you trying to bribe me, Felix?”

Your eyes narrowed at his choice of words with one eyebrow raised, but a teasing smirk was dancing across your lips. Rolling his eyes in your direction, he placed his hands up as if he was surrendering as a small chuckle escaped his lips.

“Me? I would never!” Sarcasm dripped off every word that he spoke, turning away you as he refocused his attention back on the study guide in front of him as a look of disgust overcame his features. “I want to know, how likely is it that you’ll still associate with me even after I fail this test, because the odds are currently not in my favor.”

There was something about his tone of voice that seemed to throw you off a little bit. Yes, he was still trying to keep the conversation with you as playful as possible, but you could hear the slight undertone of insecurity and doubt in his voice. He was genuinely worried about this test and it showed. It was quite an odd sight to witness, the boy who weeks before didn’t care about anything except annoying the crap out of you was worried about something as mundane as a test.

“Hmm, well if you fail this exam then I’m not sure we can be friends anymore,” you slyly spoke, “you know, I don’t associate myself with losers.”

The word “friends” caused something to bloom inside his chest, a warm feeling spreading throughout his entire body. Honestly, he’s never really thought to put a definition on your relationship, sure the two of you have spent a lot time together the past few weeks to study and cram for this exam, but everything wasn’t exactly business related. There were times during those sessions where you would both chuck erasers and pencils at each other, making fun of each other’s favorite foods and having conversations that were far from the original topic of the works of William Shakespeare. He enjoyed your presence, and liked having you around, and if being your friend meant that he could continue standing by your side then so be it.

“I’m a loser? Says the one who literally spends all their time studying and didn’t know how to let loose until I showed you how—your definition of ‘fun’ was spending four hours isolated at the library reading about the influential aspects of Renaissance paintings in modern art,” Felix countered, thinking back fondly on the memory.

The two of you continued to playfully bicker even after entering the lecture hall, only managing to quiet down as soon as the professor began administering the test. You finished a lot quicker than he did, and you could see his pained expression as he continued to struggle with the assignment for the next hour. The class was silent, students either leaving after the examination was completed or were sitting quietly on their phones waiting for the rest of the class to finish the exam, and with everyone mostly distracted it gave you a good excuse to admire him from afar. His face was contorted with a whole bunch of different emotions running through his features, and while you were considering helping him on at least one problem, it would violate your code of ethics—not to mention that he was a big boy, and you were confident that he could manage by himself.

It was another forty minutes before he finished, standing up with a visible frown on his face as he handed the test back to the professor before making his way back to you. Both of you walked out the classroom side-by-side and in silence, and as you exited the building you began to notice the worry that seemed to have etched itself into his face. Slapping him lightly on the bicep, you brought him out of his stupor and flashed him a smile that seemed to calm his racing heart for now.

“Relax, let’s go to the cafe down the street to get your mind off this test. Remember, I accept bribes in the form of anything that has caffeine or is sugary and sweet,” you suggested, looping your arm with his and tugging him towards the building.

And for about half an hour, that seemed to do the trick. The test was soon forgotten as he watched you devour a cinnamon bun, and drink at least two cups of coffee as you both chatted aimlessly about miscellaneous things. It wasn’t until he was walking you back to your dorm and he heard a ping! from his cellphone did the worrisome thoughts come flooding back in.

“95, huh I knew the professor was going to drop that question,” you shrugged, glancing down at your phone, before pocketing it. As you looked back on his figure, you could see his face fall slightly behind the phone, and you knew this meant bad news. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.”

Felix tugged the phone out of your reach, holding it over his head as you came closer and stood underneath him. The two of you were only a few inches apart, and you could practically hear his heart hammering in his chest, and the warmth from his breath as he towered over you.

“Promise you won’t get mad,” a small but playful pout sat on his lips as he continued to hold the phone out of your reach. Rolling your eyes, you continued to jump and try to reach the phone, but since he was taller than you it was pretty much impossible for you to reach. “Hmm, an 80 isn’t that terrible for studying is it?”

It was back, his signature cocky smirk that repulsed yet attracted you at the same time, flitting across his lips. With your mouth agape, you weren’t sure what you were supposed to be feeling at the moment. All you were aware of was the surge of undistinguishable emotions that flooded your body and before you could even begin to process what was going on, your arms somehow find their way around his waist with your head resting against his chest. His entire body stiffened up at your touch and you could feel his heart racing against your ear, your heart beating at the same speed. Only a few seconds seemed to pass, before you could feel his hands on your body, they were tentative at first, but soon held you with as much strength as you gripped his body.

There it was again, a few seconds late and you would have missed it. Despite the redness in your cheeks and the overwhelming amount of embarrassment that radiated off of you, your eyes glanced up to meet his own, watching as they tentatively flitted over your lips. He seemed unsure of himself, deciding whether he really wanted to follow through with his actions, and in that split second he decided to risk it all, casually leaning in—hoping to close the already short space between your bodies.

They are nothing but worthless nobodies and they will bring you nothing but trouble. Promise me, you’ll stay as far away as possible from them, please.

In an instant, your body untangled itself from his, your breath ragged and your eyes darting everyone except his face. He stood there dumbfounded, he wanted to reach out to you, to ask what he did wrong—was he misinterpreting the signals, imagine the chemistry between the two of you, did he make a mistake? You barely had enough brain power to focus on him as you could feel your heart crumbling inside of your ribcage, your breath coming out in short spurts as you struggled to regain control over the situation at hand. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore, the person that you have become after attending the university for a few measly months and you have already strayed so far from where you started. But this wasn’t the type of growth that you could be proud of, fraternizing with the enemy, the same enemy that you were warned countless times before to stay away from.

This was wrong—everything was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, your life wasn’t supposed to come to this point as you stood here as living proof of everything that your parents despised. But, you weren’t that far from salvation. You had been delusional for months, and it was about time that you started making amends. Whatever thing that you had with him was now over, and it was about time that you began living the life that your parents wanted you to have, free from parasites and monstrosities like him.

Muttering some sort of excuse, you backed away from him before taking off back to your dorm, leaving in your wake a bewildered heartbroken (although he would never admit it) Lee Felix in your wake.

six.

You have successfully managed to avoid him for three days, but you knew that was just luck. He knew your schedule like the back of his hand, you have told him a numerous amount of times where you were throughout the day and well, old habits die hard. Honestly, if he really wanted to find you he would have done it already, but he was being a gentleman and giving some personal space to let you calm down before the confrontation happened. You were grateful in a sense, you needed this time to reflect on what an utter disaster you have become. This has gone on for too long, what started off as bringing some joy and excitement to your dull life has spiraled out of control. You lost yourself in the process, fading to the background as this unrecognizable version has taken center stage. What would your parents say if they saw you like this, completely different from the child they raised you to become, fraternizing with the enemy and sympathizing with the same scum they told you to avoid for your entire life.

Regret oozed through your entire being and you wished that you could take back everything that has happened. You should have turned him down that fateful day, rejected him cold-heartedly in the cafe, and let the rumors come about you and your family—the outcome would have probably been better than your current reality. While you couldn’t go back and change the past, you could instead work on mending the future, which is why you thrusted yourself back into your studies at full force. There was no place for distractions where you’re heading, and you assumed it would be easy to surround yourself with other intellectuals that shared your same passion and drive.

This would prove more difficult than you originally assumed. The atmosphere on campus has changed completely, and to put it frankly, you were being avoided like the fucking plague. Every time you walked past a group of students, you could hear the hushed whispers and feel the glares being directed your way. Obviously, they were smart enough not to say their comments loud enough for you to hear or for you to catch them staring, as they looked away as soon as you even turned your head in their direction. Even some of your friends, the same ones that you’ve known perhaps your entire life would even spare a glance in your direction. You could even feel the glares from some of the members of Stray Kids, and while you were not necessarily on speaking terms with them, it didn’t give them an excuse to be rude with you.

You did your best to ignore the lingering looks and comments throughout the day, but as you strolled out of your last class of the day, you couldn’t stand it any longer. In particular, there was a group of girls that you have practically known all of your life, ever since elementary school, who had the audacity to mutter your name and laugh as you walked by—and that was your breaking point. You were usually a patient person and usually weren’t quick to rush to judgement, but this was the last straw. Rolling up your sleeves, you marched up to them with a scowl written across your face..

“If you have a problem with me you should say something to my face instead of talking shit behind my back, you fucking cowards,” you hissed, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you glared at them. Two of the girls mumbled something under their breath, tugging at the sleeves of the main girl in the center. But, she wasn’t intimidated by you, instead she took a step forward till your faces were only a couple inches apart.

“[L/N] [Y/N], long time no see. Where’s that boyfriend of yours, is he off robbing some banks?” her voice was shrill as she hissed out that insult. Her behavior was typical, and while she appeared to act condescending and superior towards you, her true emotions were written as plain as day across her face—she was jealous. It was in the way her rhetorical question had that unnecessary sharpness curled at the end of words or the way the scowl on her face was a little more prominent than it needed to be. In all honesty, you couldn’t blame her. As much as you didn’t want to admit it, Lee Felix was quite an attractive person, but that was all besides the point. He wasn’t yours to begin with and whatever relationship the two of you had was now nonexistent, so it didn’t matter how pretty you find his face.

“He’s not my boyfriend, so if you could kindly back the—” you huffed, readjusting the stack of papers and textbooks in your arms.

“Whatever, look we don’t mean any harm, honestly we’re just worried about you, honey. I mean, you’ve heard the rumors about people like them, they’re dangerous and we’re just worried about you getting in harm's way,” you could see the way the glint in her eyes seemed to return after you confirmed that were in fact not dating Felix. The fake sincerity in her voice was piercing to your ears, and you wanted nothing more than to get rid of her and stop her from prying into your personal life. “Plus, what would you parents say if they see you hanging out with someone like him?”

So that’s what this about, this was the entire underlying reason why, this is why she decided to pick a fight with you. Of course, everything was about power, it always is with someone like her and her family—the Moon family was always power-hungry gremlins. For many years your family has sort of allied itself with the Moons, not by choice, but just because of circumstances. You have known her your entire life, and up until this point you have always known her to be jealous of everything that you had. And now, it was no different, she always wanted what she couldn’t get her hands on, and everything in your life was currently on the menu.It was the typical story, she wanted to use him for what she did best, flirting with danger—like your parents, hers would practically disown her if they found out she was fooling around with someone with low status like him, but the thrill and the temptation was too great to pass up. It was all for the thrill, and some desire was too strong.

Oh did you have some choice words for her, but it seemed like your voice failed you felt a warm hand envelop your wrist. Whipping around you were once again met with an eyeful of black clothing that obscured your vision. The heat radiating off of him was almost suffocating, and you struggled to catch your breath around him. With a final glare in the direction of the trio, he tugged your wrist and your body followed as he dragged you away from the trio of girls. The two of you rounded the corner to one of the Biology lecture halls, before you finally grasped control of yourself and shook off his hold from your body.

You were your own independent person meaning that you could definitely handle yourself, and definitely didn’t need someone like him to save you. There was an unreadable expression written across his features, as you cradled your burning wrist to your chest. Neither of you dared to speak a word, the awkward silence was deafening, both of your eyes were diverted towards the ground distracted by the concrete sidewalks. You needed to get out of there, as far away as you could manage and while you didn’t want to be the one to break the silence, you knew it was necessary unless you wanted to prolong your time spent in his presence.

“Thanks for you know, everything that you did back there, but I was handling things on my own.”

You still couldn’t look him in the eyes, knowing that you would break if that ever happened. Instead, you opted to look straight ahead, finding some interesting looking trees that stood out behind him. His scoff startled you slightly, causing you to quickly look at his face before diverting your eyes once more.

“Whatever you say, princess/prince. I’m sure you could have managed just fine on your own,” he rolled his eyes. That statement that ignited a fire within you, your face flushed and your palms growing sweaty as you balled them up into fists.

“What do you mean by that?” you hissed, in an instant your eyes locked with his own—and your expression immediately softened. His demeanor also seemed to soften under your gaze, and he hesitantly approached your figure, till only a couple of inches stood between the two of you. But, you weren’t going to let him get away with it that easily. As you attempted to take a step back, his hand grabbed your wrist suddenly, stopping your body from moving away from him any further. “Hey, look, I’m serious, I’m not some damsel in distress that constantly needs saving. I can take care of myself and I don’t need you constantly babysitting me, like I’m some child because I—”

With two steps the distance between the two of you closed, his face leaned and before you knew it, his lips were pressed against your own. He tasted like caramel with a bit of a smokey flavor, not quite like barbeque and not quite like cigarettes, perhaps something in between. His lips were slightly chapped against your own, but the kiss itself was gentle, his hands placed gingerly on your hips as he pulled you against his body. He was a fantastic kisser, by the way, every direction that his lips moved in and the way he was holding you made you practically putty in his hands as you melted into his touch. Soon, the need for oxygen was too great, the two of you breaking apart as the only sounds that could be heard were the pants from the both of you that stood out harshly against the quietness of the campus.

“We, oh god, we shouldn’t have—” you paused, attempting to gather your thoughts, trying to quiet the thousands upon thousands scenarios and ideas that were running through your head at the moment. Your parents, god, if they ever found out about this you would be ruined. Everything that you have worked for over the years would be completely shattered, demolished and bulldozed by the boy that stood in front of you—and for some reason, when you looked into his warm brown eyes, you didn’t seem to care. You were never really a reckless person, but for him, you were willing to risk it all. At this point in time, what he meant to you was worth more than whatever punishment your parents were going to inflict on you once they found out.

“You know I don’t care about what people think, and neither should you. Why is it any of their business what the two of us do with our lives? If I like you and you like me, then I don’t see the problem,” he pushed your body back a little bit, so he could look into your eyes. For once, there was no cockiness or arrogance in his voice, instead he looked at you passionately, with his hands holding yours and his thumb rubbing circles on the tops of your hands. There was so many unspoken words between the two of you, but just this once his touch and his presence was enough.

And for once you could safely say that Lee Felix was right, in this moment it was quite honestly you and him against the world.

seven.

To say that things were weird between the two of you was definitely an understatement. Neither of you addressed what had happened a couple of nights ago, the kiss was almost a taboo subject and to mention it meant that you both had to address the change in your relationship with each other. Instead, it was easier to ignore everything that changed and instead pretend that everything was just fine between the two of you. In all honesty, you would be lying if you said that you never considered a relationship with him, and in reality, that is all you have been thinking about the last couple of days. You never thought that love could feel like this, every moment with him was as if you were floating, drifting endlessly on cloud nine with no intentions of stopping. Every stereotype and previous assumptions about him were completely thrown out the window. He was perhaps the kindest soul that you could ever meet, despite his rough exterior, and he treated you with the utmost kindness, his manners rivaling some of the more posh boys that you have dated in the past. He was a complete gentleman and never pushed you to do anything that you didn’t want to, respected his boundaries and of course, acted as the epitome of the perfect boyfriend. You knew that you should tread with caution, the honeymoon phase was still in full effect, but with him, you couldn’t help but dive straight in. With him you were loose and reckless, the complete opposite of everything that you were molded to be by your parents.

And while you were unsure of where your relationship with him stands, you were first and foremost his tutor, you would be damned if you were the one who ultimately caused his grades to slip again. Which is why most of your dates the past few days have been focused on only studying, the two of you meeting up at cafes or the library in order to help him prepare for this upcoming final on Literature of the 20th Century. There was a slight tension between the two of you, understandable considering the circumstances, but you were adamant that there would be nothing to distract him from acing this exam, and this was evident in how you threatened him with everything under the sun if he even dared to try anything other than studying.

Before both of you knew it the exam was quickly approaching, the last study date seemed to fly by in a matter of minutes, and you both found yourself walking the familiar path on the way to the lecture hall in time for the morning exam. As usual, Felix clutched the study guide in his hand as he walked, mumbling little facts about each work of literature that was present on the page. You couldn’t help but smile at his mannerisms, watching his face furrow as he was deep in thought made him appear almost cute, vastly different from his every day cool and cocky exterior.

“So, what’s my prize this time for scoring well on the exam?” he asked you coolly, cocking one eyebrow in the air playfully, the study guide soon forgotten in his hands.

“Bold of you to assume that there is a prize, I mean, studying hard and putting in the work and receiving the outcome you wanted sounds like enough of a reward to me,” you shrugged, giving him a wink. In response, he shot you a teasing glare shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

“While that sounds very uh tempting I have another idea,” he paused slightly for dramatic effect before continuing, “if I get an A on this test, then I think you should promise me something.” Of course, he didn’t really go into details after that, citing that if he talked about it any longer than he will jinx himself and not only fluke this test, but he will also cheat himself out of this deal.

Bidding you a quick farewell, he disappeared inside the lecture hall blowing you a kiss before vanishing behind the wooden doors. Even in a situation like this he seemed to find time to be flirty, ignoring the obvious tension and oddness between the two of you in favor of attempting to restore some sense of normalcy. He was different to say the least, and that’s probably what attracted you to him in the first place, and with a slight shake of your head, you turned away and walked towards your own classroom.

And you couldn’t begin to hide the redness in your cheeks or the boisterous hammering of your heart beneath your ribcage, which confirmed what you had previously known already—that you were head-over-heels in love with this boy.

As soon as Felix stepped foot outside of the lecture room, his eyes desperately scanned the campus grounds looking for your figure. He was ecstatic and couldn't wait to share the good news with you, but as his eyes moved around looking for any sign of you, he was disappointed to not see your figure in sight. This emotion was evident on his face, and it was hard for him to hide it, as he opted to shove his hands inside the pockets of his leather jacket. He wanted to boast to you, to shove his high grade in your face and smugly demand his prize—an official date with you. No, he wouldn’t accept anymore of this “study date” bullshit, while he did get to spend time with you (which he did very much enjoy) he wanted something that wasn’t underneath the guise of school. He wanted something that was real and concrete between the two of you, and this was the perfect opportunity to voice his true intentions.

Felix was no idiot, the kiss that you both shared was something that doesn’t normally happen between a tutor and a student, let alone between friends. At the moment he wasn’t really sure where your relationship stood, the two had walked the very thin line between friends and lovers, and after the kiss, a boundary was crossed and it’s too late to go back now. Pulling out his phone, he decided to send you a quick text just in case you were running late from class.

very annoying (but cute) boy: hey, where are you??

very annoying (but cute) boy: i think i would like to redeem my prize right now, and in order for me to do that i need you to be here

Even after ten minutes there was no response from you, while it wasn’t that odd for you to go a bit radio silent when you’re busy studying, but he thought it was a bit strange of you to forget something as important as this. That was it, you must have become preoccupied with something else, and you’ll end up getting back to him when you find the time. Shrugging his shoulders, he pocketed his phone before taking off to find the rest of his friends, his thoughts lingering on you the whole way there.

It’s only a few hours later when an announcement is made across the campus, alerting the entire student body of your disappearance. Of course the word “kidnapping” isn’t used in order to not alarm the rest of the student body, but the meaning behind your disappearance was evident across the campus. The first thing that he did once the news was broken to him was punch a wall, sure, not the most effective thing to do but at the moment he was unable to contain himself and his emotions. He was angry, in fact he was more than angry, and he honestly didn’t know what to do with himself. How could this have happened, especially under his watch? You were his responsibility, he was supposed to be able to protect you from everything, especially things like this, but he has failed you.

Currently he was both a mess inside and out, his hand coming in contact with the coffee table that was situated in the center of the room. His eyes were ablaze, a storm brewing within them, as he glared at the taller male in front of him. The rest of his friends gathered around the two males, watching the scene unfold in front of them.

“What do you mean we can’t go and save her? We’ve done recon missions like this all time, we will in and out before anything really happens,” Felix slammed his fist down on the coffee table, shaking the furniture in an attempt to prove his point to the male in front of him. However, Chan was more mature than that and would not be easily swayed by irrational persuasions.

“I know you care about them and under different circumstances I wouldn’t be opposing you, but we can’t risk anything right now. The media’s attention is already fixated on us, and causing any more publicity like this would draw us even more into the spotlight, and right now we don't need everything we do to be a spectacle for the public to criticize."

It was logical, every single word that ushered past his mouth and Felix knew that. But, he couldn’t help the fire that spread across his entire body, tingling from the top of his head to the tips of his fingers, urging him to do something, anything, calling him to action. He couldn’t take this bureaucracy anymore, following the rules in order to appease the ever critical public and for what? The outcome was always the same in the end, the public always demanding (and never satisfied) for a change, a way to exterminate the vermin that lived in the streets, and they always drew the short-end of the stick. Forced to retreat back into the outskirts of the town, hiding as if they were the ones who committed the sins, while the real demons hide among the general population.

The door slammed closed behind him, the sound echoing slightly in the empty streets of the campus. In wake of your disappearance, it seemed like the student body and the school was taking extra precautions by instilling a mandatory curfew and for once, it seems that the student body was actually complying. Felix scoffed, shoving his hands into his pocket, before turning and taking off in a random direction. He couldn’t think straight, his brain too busy being clouded over by the sheer frustration and anger that he felt. In this moment, he truly understood what it meant to be helpless, and he could earnestly say that it was the worst feeling in the world. The fire inside was itching for him to do something—to take action, but as much as he wanted to, he was completely helpless to the situation at hand.

And for the first time in his life, Lee Felix felt utterly defeated.

eight.

It has been three days since you have gone missing, and he could swear that he was losing his mind. There was nothing, no clues, no witnesses, nothing—as if you had simply disappeared without a trace. By now the campus had returned to a version of normalcy, the streets were no longer empty, the classrooms and dorms repopulated, and the campus seemed to buzz with life once again, which only seemed to enrage the male. He couldn’t understand how everyone could simply pick up and move on, turn a blind eye to the fact that it hasn’t even been a week since your disappearance and suddenly, it was perfectly acceptable for everything to return to normal? No. He wouldn’t stand for this, he couldn’t. His conscience wouldn’t allow him to idly sit by and wait for news to come to him, instead he needed to be proactive—be out there searching and not resting until he brought you back safely.

But, here lies the problem. Felix was floating in the same boat as the detectives, officers and everyone else looking for you, with absolutely no leads on who took you and why. All he could do was rely on his gut instincts, and thus far in life, there wasn’t a time where his gut has ever steered him wrong. Everything about this was pointing to their rival gang Neo Culture Technology, or what they liked to call themselves, NCT. Sure, it was only a hunch that he had, but everything seemed to fall into place around this theory. Exhibit A, they had the means to do it. Saying that they were extremely well funded was an understatement, in more simpler terms, they were loaded. Anything they wanted, they could have just by waving a stack of bills and it was done. Exhibit B, they had the motive to do it. The rivalry between the two gangs was no joking matter, even though they both seemed dominant now, any action was a small enough spark to set the whole rivalry ablaze once again. And he would damned if this wasn’t the signalling flare. Exhibit C, his gut was telling him that this was the answer. Now, there have been many things that Lee Felix has been wrong about in his life, his gut has always steered him in the right direction—and right now, it was practically screaming at him to follow this lead.

However, there was a slight problem and that came in the form of someone named Bang Chan. Felix was explicitly told not to move a muscle, to not do anything that would draw attention to the gang, and rescuing you was bound to blow everything that they have worked so hard for—obliterated due to his selfish desire. But, he couldn’t help himself. What kind of person would he be if he had the chance to possibly save you and instead decided that the reputation of Stray Kids was more valuable. No, if he did that he would embody exactly what society deemed him: a monster.

That’s how he found himself here, somewhere past two in the morning outside one of the many abandoned warehouses in the inner city. It was almost idiotic for him to be here, alone, with no backup and he was certainly a madman to try to even attempt to pull something off like this. The darkness provided a decent cover and gave him the slight element of surprise, but with no windows, it was impossible to actually see if he was walking into a trap. All he was running on was his gut instinct, and while it has never failed him before, there was always a first time for everything.

Bracing himself, he kicked the doors open putting up his fists and readying his stance, prepared for a fight. But, it never came, his posture immediately relaxing as soon as he looked towards the center of the vast room. There you were, bound to a chair with rope and gagged, but otherwise unharmed staring at him with wide eyes. Navigating around the miscellaneous shipping containers and wooden boxes that plagued the room, he ran to you, undoing your gag and began working on the ropes that held your body to the chair.

“I thought you would never find me,” you choked out, your voice hoarse and scratchy. The relief that flooded your body once you saw him almost had tears pooling in your eyes. Suddenly the frigid air of the warehouse didn’t feel that cold anymore, and it was as if all your prayers had finally been answered. Within the next minute, he had freed you from your binds, taking off his leather jacket and draping the article of clothing over your shoulders in an attempt to keep you warm, while wrapping one arm around you and pulling you into his body. Despite all the warmth that he was providing, you were still freezing, and you could barely feel your legs moving as he attempted to guide you out of the warehouse.

You were vaguely aware of him talking, his lips were moving yet, at least to you, it seemed like there was no sound coming out. The blank expression on your features was enough to indicate this fact to him, as he instead tried to navigate you faster through the warehouse. It was obvious that he was worried, it was written all over his face—the way his eyebrows were furrowed, his arm wrapped just a bit too tightly around your shoulders, and the way his other hand kept hovering over his pocket as if he was going to pull a weapon out any minute now. Come to think of it, you haven’t seen your captures in a while, and that probably was not a good thing. It had slipped your mind, but as Felix led you out of the warehouse it seemed to be the only thing on the forefront of your mind.

The feeling of anxiety seemed to crawl up your throat, the thought of being captured again causing a new wave of panic to wash over you. Never have you experienced a situation as horrible as these past few days, and you were not willing to relive this horrifying experience again. With these overwhelming new emotions everything seemed to be too much for you, added onto the sound of distant sounds of sirens and bright spotlights that seemed to dance in front of your field of vision, your body couldn’t hold on any longer as you suddenly collapsed—becoming limp in the arms of your savior.

It took a second for Felix to adjust your newfound weight in his arms, grunting slightly as he picked you up and began carrying you through the open doors of the warehouse and was met with a swarm of police cars and officers with their guns drawn directly at him.

Fuck, what did he manage to get himself into?

nine.

Felix knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here, but then again, when has he ever followed directions? Hospitals were never his favorite place, and in all honesty, he tended to avoid them when he could, the sterile and cleanliness smell from them making him feel as if he was choking on a gallon of hand sanitizer. But, at the moment, he was here of his own free will—lurking around the corridors of the building for something specific. It was obvious that he stuck out like a sore thumb, his dark clothing standing out against the cleanliness white background, but for some reason no one seemed to pay him any attention. Instead, every nurse, doctor, and patient were too preoccupied with their own tasks, far too busy to pay him any mind.

Rounding the corner with his hands tucked deep into his pockets, his eyes scanned the halls of the hospital before landing on a specific room, PATIENT ROOM 325. He glanced to the left, then to the right, and after making sure that no one was around, he pulled the handle of the door and opened it just enough to slip into the room.

It was dark, and the only light came from the open windows in front of him, casting a soft glow. The full moon hung brightly in the sky and the stars were on full display tonight, and it would have been a beautiful sight if he wasn’t focused on something else. A couple of feet away from the window was a stereotypical hospital bed, or what he could assume was a hospital bed, with the curtains drawn around it. There was no other noise in the room besides the faint hum of a few machines by the bedside and the occasional sound of crickets from outside, which caused him to question if there was perhaps anybody in the room.

Taking another step forward, he reached forward and grabbed one side of the curtain, prepared to see who (if anybody) was lying in the bed. However, a voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

“You know we’re supposed to stay away from each other.” The voice was hoarse, but still recognizable, and his heart clenched at the sound. He stepped forward, grasping at the curtain in front of him, his knuckles turning white from how firmly he was gripping the material. There was an internal war raging inside of him, trying to decide if he could even bear to see you in your current state. However, he soon decided against his current judgement and before he could reason against himself, he yanked the curtains aside to reveal the sight of you before him.

In all honesty, you could have fared worse from the whole ordeal, but you managed to only make it out with slight dehydration and some minor cuts and bruising. Nevertheless, Felix’s breath hitched at the sight of you as he slowly approached the side of your bed. Even with your hair a mess, the prominent bags underneath your eyes, and a small but tired smile, he couldn’t help but think that you were the most beautiful person that he has ever laid eyes on.

“You’re doing it again,” you purse your lips, your eyes narrowing as you drink in his figure in the moonlight.

“Doing what?”

“Looking at me like I hung both the moon and the stars in the sky.”

He was thankful for the dimness of the room to conceal the flush of his cheeks. Approaching your bedside, he sat at the very edge of the bed, almost afraid to get any closer, as if one slight movement would break you. The both of you soon fell into a comfortable silence, but there was a slight amount of awkward tension that hung in the air. You wanted to tell him so many things, spend the rest of your lifetime apologizing for dragging him into this mess, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say a word—everything you want to say sitting heavily on your tongue. Instead, you gingerly moved your hand to brush over his own and let it rest on top of his own as he interlocked your fingers together. There it was, a silent conversation exchanged between the two of you, and when you gave his hand a long squeeze, he gave you a small squeeze back.

There were sounds coming from outside of your room, the sound of low chatter followed by the brisk footsteps was enough for Felix to recoil his hand abruptly and to stand suddenly. It was the cold wave of reality raining down on the both of you, that he shouldn’t be here and you shouldn’t be seeing someone like him.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, right, all of this wasn’t your fault,” you muttered, choking back tears. You reached up to grab his hand once again, feeling his body slightly tense up at your touch. This was a cruel world and the two of you were simply living proof of that statement, unable to change your fate and the bad luck that came with it. Ultimately, the entire plot was an elaborate plan by Stray Kids’ rival gang in order to draw attention to them at that prestigious school and keep the gang in the limelight to distract from the nefarious activities executed by NCT. And for the most part, while it seemed like everything turned out alright in the end, there were consequences that needed to be paid.

After spending some long hours in the police station, Felix was finally released after being found innocent of any involvement in your attack. Not only did he earn a complete berating from Chan, but he was also banned from seeing you, and if he was caught well, the wrath of Chan was going to come raining down on him once more. But for you he was willing to risk it, you were different from every other risk that he has ever taken in his life, and if he was being completely honest, you were the best one. And he would like to think that he could one day reap the rewards.

You on the other hand, were rushed to the hospital where you were met with your parents on the phone, demanding lawyers and the police enforcement catch whoever did this to their child. Immediately they blamed Felix, and would not listen to a single word you said defending him. Their minds were already made up, and in their minds he had tainted you—changed you from their perfect and lovely child, into someone just like them.

“You can’t change my mind, sweetheart, my decision is final,” your mother declares, shuffling around the hospital room, rearranging your items that were haphazardly thrown around the room. Your dad stood in the corner with his arms folded across his chest, not uttering a word against your mother’s declaration.

“You want me to move halfway across the world after I’ve gotten into the most prestigious university here, and you’re telling me not to be upset?” you throw up your hands in exasperation, sitting up in the bed.

Your sudden outburst caused your mother to stop in her tracks, before taking three steps closer towards your bed, until she was only a few feet away. Her eyebrows were scrunched together, the look in her eyes was enough to send chills down your spine, and the snarl sitting on her lips let you know that you were about to be in a deep pile of shit.

“[Y/N], I’m going to tell you once more and after that I don’t want to hear any more complaints from you anymore, understand? We are all moving to America and away from this wretched place and that’s final,” she spat at you, before turning away and resumed tidying the room, “you need a fresh start away from this tainted place, I mean, look at what you’ve become—infected by those vermin, and look what they turned you into! A fresh start will be good for all of us, and maybe finally getting away from those despicable people can you finally return to how you were.”

Your mother was never a woman who actively changed her mind once it was set on something, and her latest decision was no different. Everything was practically being finalized as you and Felix both, the entire house being condensed into cardboard boxes then placed on a plane to go to America, and you were going to join them in a few days.

“You should probably get back soon,” your voice was barely above a whisper and if it was any quieter the strawberry blond would have missed everything that you had uttered. HIs jaw visibly clenched at your words, his face turned away from you so you couldn’t see the internal turmoil that was written across his features—eyebrows furrowed, a deep frown sitting on his lips and a storm brewing within his brown eyes. “I don’t want to get you into more trouble than I already have.”

“And what if I don’t want to go?”

He turned around to face you, his usually warm brown eyes now ablaze, and you could only describe the expression on his face as the most passionate that you have ever seen him. Reaching out for your hand, he grasped it, intertwining his fingers with your own and gripping onto you as if his life depended on it.

“Please, don’t make this harder than it already is,” you turned your head away from him, feeling tears fighting to spill over. He didn’t need to see you like this and it would only make it harder to say goodbye. With one blink, the tears start falling, cascading down your cheeks before dribbling down onto the sterile hospital sheets below.

Felix couldn’t help but feel his heart break at the sight, and instead opted to gingerly pull you into his arms. Your head rested against his chest, your tears soaking his shirt and sobs wracking your body as he patted your back soothingly. He wasn’t sure how long the two of you stayed there like it, but it was only until your sobs had turned into quiet sniffles and your tears had almost ceased.

“I don’t know what the future will hold for the both of us, but I promise you, I will find you. I don’t care how long it will take, but someday I will make my way back to you,” his voice was soft, the softest that you have ever heard from him, but instead of feeling the usual comfort from his words, you couldn’t help but feel a cold sense of dread wash over you.

“You shouldn’t make promises that you can’t keep,” you muttered. His body stiffened at your words, and it was as if the confusion was radiating off of him, and it was only when you pulled your body away could you really see his face.

ten.

Bidding goodbye to some of your classmates, you readjusted your backpack before walking out of the cafe and into the busy street. America was certainly nothing like you could have ever imagined, in more ways than one it was similar to the city that you grew up, but completely different at the same time. In the six months that you have been here, you have adjusted to the best of your ability. Everything from the culture to the language, at first completely baffled you, but as you listened to the locals aimlessly chat amongst themselves as you walked down the sidewalk, you couldn’t help but feel as if you fit right in.

The sun was high in the sky, the warm rays shining down on you, as you carefully slipped your sunglasses over your eyes and continued walking. In the distance, you faintly heard the sound of a motorcycle roaring in the distance. The revving of the engine continues to get louder, until you one zoom past you and continue on towards the highway. Not that it mattered, but you couldn’t make out the driver behind the tinted helmet, and for some reason that caused the ache in your heart to return.

You paused for a second, just as the pedestrian signal turned green, allowing you to cross the street. Around you people moved forward, carrying on with their conversations, but you were frozen on one side of the street. And suddenly you were back in there all over again, the familiar feeling of his arm wrapped around your waist, the melodic sound of his laughter ringing in your ears, and the stupidly cute smile that always seemed to grace his lips whenever you were around. Every memory about him seemed to crash over you, until you were drowning in a sea of moments where you could never return.

Your heart clenched at the thought, and briefly you allowed yourself to wonder about him. Over the months that you have spent here, you have repressed every thought about him. In the beginning everything reminded you of him, he was everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. However, as time went on, it became easier. You made new friends, went to new places, and slowly but surely you started to accept that this was the way that things were—and you were coming to terms with your newfound reality. But sometimes you days like these happen, and you’re suddenly crippled with the thought of him.

However, you are instead learning how to swim, and managing to stay afloat in the ocean of memories. You were learning to breathe without him by your side. You exhaled, releasing a shaky breath, before refocusing on the crosswalk in front of you. Looking both ways and making sure that the light was green, you continued walking—one foot in front of the other.

You were grateful that he walked into your life. He taught you lessons that you could have never learned on your own, and gave you memories that you would never trade for the world. In the end, while it was never meant to be, you would never forget the taste of the fruit that you were never meant to have—the irresistible sweetness of a boy named Lee Felix.

#stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #districtninewriters #sk imagines #sk scenarios #skz #stray kids #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #lee felix #lee felix x reader #lee felix imagines #my writing

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concussed-to-pieces · 3 years

Text

The Mettle Of A Man; Part Twenty

Fandom: Fallout (4)

Pairing: Paladin Danse/Female Sole Survivor

Rating: Holy shit M.

AN: Welcome to the end of our tale, everyone! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying over the years. I love you so much and appreciate you more than words can say. Here's to 2021, my friends! Ad Victoriam, and stay safe! Tagging @anonymouscosmos, @culturalrebel, @wrestlingfae, @toxiicpop, @mercy-and-malice, @deepkittycollecto, @nelba, @mechanicalism, @commandershepardshtole, @valkyriejack and @kovu-the-mythical-being. Enjoy!

Part One: ArcJet

Part Two: The Prydwen

Part Three: Orders

Part Four: Finding Brandis

Part Five: Weston Water And Oberland

Part Six: Meeting Preston And Matthew

Part Seven: Radstag And Radstorm

Part Eight: The Return To Sanctuary Hills

Part Nine: Domestic Ruminations

Part Ten: Institutionalized

Part Eleven: Two Weeks, Three Days

Part Twelve: Haylen’s Warning And The Glowing Sea

Part Thirteen: Under Fire

Part Fourteen: Dichotomy

Part Fifteen: The Litany Trial

Part Sixteen: Nice Try

Part Seventeen: Preparations

Part Eighteen: Divide And Conquer

Part Nineteen: Lucky

[!TRIGGER WARNING!: This installment contains holiday celebrations, brief emotional distress and unprotected sex. Stay safe!]

Time seemed to pass both too fast and not fast enough.

Synths were accommodated, reprogrammed at their wishes or helped to adjust to their new lives. Doctor Amari and the rest of the Railroad had no shortage of work, and Desdemona eventually tapped MacCready and Cait to oversee their caravan logistics back to the Capital Wasteland.

"And the people of the Commonwealth slept soundly, for the greatest monster was gone." Nick had remarked, touching the brim of his fedora in a half-salute. The old detective quickly appointed himself as head of first impressions in Diamond City, making certain that no trouble befell any wayward synth that accidentally wandered in. There was still a lot of work to be done to repair the Broken Mask incident, after all.

New settlements sprang up overnight and while there may not have been total harmony, there was the sensation of the whole Commonwealth heaving a sigh of relief. Recruits flocked to the Minutemen and Brotherhood in droves as Piper's Publick Occurrences spread the word of their successful campaign against the Institute.

Commonwealth boogeyman decimated by combination effort: Brotherhood Of Steel and Minutemen join forces to save Boston from bodysnatchers!

Deacon had effortlessly deflected Piper every time she asked for an interview, the mysterious man more than content to keep the Railroad shadowy. The less everyone knew, the less they could tell, and that suited him just fine. "You did real good, Icebox. Helped a lot of people."

Elder Brandis sought approval to establish a permanent outpost at the Boston airport ruins, the former paladin keen to send the Prydwen back to the Capital Wasteland. "Oh the Prydwen's a fine ship, but put me in the field any day!" The airship, once a proud symbol of the Maxson reign, now served little purpose aside from blocking the sun on occasion. Scribes laughed and played in the massive shadow, kicking up dust until the circle where the litany trial had taken place was nothing but a memory.

X6-88 had floundered for several weeks, the courser falling into a depressive slump that not even Curie could rouse him from. Oddly enough, it was Preston who ended up being able to haul him out of the darkness, the lieutenant making a point to visit the courser to drag him from his room for target practice and other low-effort patrol duties. "Sometimes all folks need is a hand, General."

The courser went on to reluctantly take the role of defective defector, working as a consultant to the Minutemen to help ward off any future attacks by desperate coursers or Institute scientists. Preston found his input invaluable, and the duo could often be found in the lieutenant's quarters poring over threadbare maps and trading tactical information. Preston also seemed to have a calming effect on the synth hunter, helping to blunt some of the cold steel edge that X6 had honed his entire life. Add on to that the constant caring presence of Curie, and they made a strange but surprisingly effective trio.

With the new supply line firmly established between the verdant utopia of Starlight Drive-In and Oberland Station, the strain of the prior lean months finally eased a bit. Faces grew less pinched even with the increased burden of the synths, and many settlers began to tentatively plan for a small celebration in the beginning of the winter.

"'The Holidays' is what they been callin' it, real simple and succinct. Some freaky hodgepodge of everyone's traditions. I guess a lot of folks on that fancy director's board also celebrated around this time of year. Not that the synths would know, naturally." Hancock had muttered, his expression sour. "Poor bastards always workin', and they ain't got fuckall to show for it. Seems like a shit deal."

Elder Brandis granted Danse an extended leave of absence after the toppling of the Institute without the paladin even requesting it, the large man dumbfounded for a moment upon receiving the news.

"If you're up for it, I could use a hand back at Sanctuary." Vega had grinned up at him, her eyes squinting a little under the force of her smile. "A lot of prep work goes into a holiday, after all."

...

Danse had taken it upon himself to retreat from Shaun's previous bedroom when he accompanied Vega and her son back to Sanctuary. He debated heavily on returning to the airport; after all, there was no real reason for him to stay in Sanctuary Hills, at least none that he dared to dwell upon. The few small projects that Vega had to manage were easily accomplished and he was left a bit lost in the wake of the excess of his leave.

Vega, however, had begun framing in what was once the carpark for her house. Sturges helped of course, and once Danse caught on he was touched by the gesture.

"I don't want you to feel like there isn't room for you just because Shaun is back." Elizabeth had said, lugging a chunk of scrap metal from the wreckage of her car.

The paladin had to take a moment, claiming sawdust in his eye as the culprit.

Now Danse lived in the area she had partitioned off for him, uncertain if he still believed he was intruding. Those thoughts were troubling, because if he could get comfortable…

What if Vega eventually decided that Shaun needed a father and what if...what if she chose a real man? Really real, not a sham like Danse was. And if she did, what man would permit Danse to stay? What real man would permit a synth that was currently entangled by these...human emotions to remain on their property, even if Danse proved he wasn't a threat?

What man would believe him if he claimed to have no interest in Vega? Hell, Danse didn't even believe himself.

But he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay. He wanted to tell Elizabeth...well, there were a lot of things he wanted to tell her.

His silence was more of a burden each day, and Danse knew he must seem sullen. It gnawed at him; it felt like lying every time he choked the words back down because it wasn't the right time or he just didn't know what to say, and he didn't trust himself not to say something foolish.

He decided he would wait until after the holiday gathering. Whatever the verdict was, it shouldn't take away from the joy she was clearly feeling over the festivities. So Danse threw himself into helping Sturges, Mama Murphy and the Longs around Sanctuary.

Secretly making a toy truck for Shaun had been a painstaking process fraught with peril. Mainly because Danse was somewhat indelicate and carving tiny wheels had never been his area of expertise. Oh certainly, he could build a survival camp with nothing but a combat knife and time, but a toy...

The paladin had spent countless hours creating prototypes in his cobbled-together room as he pondered the path he should take, sometimes working into the wan light of the morning. He eventually showed the truck to Jun, immensely fearful that Shaun might not enjoy the toy. Danse couldn't recall his own interests when he had been Shaun's age, and thus fell back on the other man's expertise.

"It looks good! Sand the wheels a little more, maybe give it a coat or two of paint." Jun praised the pensive paladin, turning the vehicle over in his hands to examine it. "Kyle loved these kinds of things y'know, trucks and trains and little toy boats." His gaze grew distant for a moment, the rough plaything stilling in his grasp. "Marcy thinks she's pregnant." He said abruptly.

"Pregnant?" Danse repeated without meaning to, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline.

Jun nodded jerkily. "It's been three months now. She's scared, Mr. Danse, real scared. Thinks something bad will happen."

"What can we do?" The paladin asked sharply.

Jun gawked up at him, seeming confused. "We?"

"I am unfamiliar with this process. What needs to be done?"

"I...I don't follow, Mr. Danse."

"To simplify the duration! What precautions can I-"

"Whoa, hang on." Jun protested. "We aren't sure if the general will even let us stay here with an extra mouth to feed. I've been trying to figure out how to bring up the subject." He admitted.

"You haven't even told General Vega yet?!" Danse squawked.

"W-Well, no! I figured maybe we would...we'd see how the winter went and play it by ear." Jun mumbled, seeming defensive.

Danse seized the other man's arm, heedless of his protests as he hauled him across the front lawn to Vega's abode. Today was the day that Vega had planned to sort through decorations; there were many left over from the fall holiday the Commonwealth had been preparing to celebrate before...well, time had stopped for most when the bombs fell, it was understandable that faded pumpkins and skeletons would still grace crumbling walls with their orangey-cream presence.

Vega looked up from the veritable pile of brittle, salvaged decor in confusion when Danse barged into their...her home, the paladin immediately halting and offering a sharp salute. "Danse! I...uh, what's wrong?"

"Mr. Long has something he needs to discuss with you immediately." Danse informed her, tugging the other man forward.

"I-I...er, General, you…" Jun struggled to speak, twiddling his fingers wildly. "M-Marcy--"

"What's wrong, Jun? Is she okay?" Vega asked, getting to her feet and shooting Danse a worried look. "Did something happen?"

"B-Baby." Jun squeaked. "Pregnant."Backhand went still, her freckles stark against the fresh pallor of her face. "I'm sorry, General, I know we haven't discussed it beforehand a-and I know food's been better as of late...I-I guess she got enough nutrients and got healthy enough for...er, well, you know." Mr. Long looked like he wanted to disappear into the ground. "We should have spoke to you sooner; I don't know if she can leave with the weather being--"

"Wh-Where are you going? Why leave, what?" Vega stammered, "Jun, you can't travel now, if something goes wrong-!"

"We weren't sure if you'd let us stay!" The thin man interrupted her frantically. "This is your base, after all, and you didn't sign on for an extra person to worry about."

Vega inhaled deeply. "Danse, could you give me a minute with Mr. Long?" She requested, her voice suspiciously even.

Danse obeyed, closing the front door gently and meandering a pointed distance down the main thoroughfare so as not to eavesdrop. He had a relatively good idea of how the conversation would go, despite Jun's misgivings. So he wandered down to the huge tree at the end of the cul-de-sac, fiddling with the truck in his pocket absently as he stared upwards at the barren branches.

"Y'know kid," Mama Murphy piped up from her customary chair on her porch and the paladin turned to face her, giving the elderly woman his full attention. "When I had the Sight, I saw this place. Sanctuary." She nodded in the direction of the river, then gestured upwards. "The bridge, and this tree. Massive and old, worn out from all those years." She cocked her head, giving Danse an appraising look. "The tree though, it was...covered in lights. Like what you see in the pre-war mags. The Holidays, shinin' like a beacon of hope at the end of the tunnel."

Danse hummed, the vaguest beginnings of an idea taking root in his mind. He couldn't bring Vega's old life back, but maybe...maybe he could bring something from it back to her. Like what you see in the pre-war mags.

"I think you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, kid." Mama Murphy's smile was knowing, the old woman reaching over to pet Dogmeat. The dog seemed to materialize out of thin air sometimes! "Now get to it."

...

Backhand was already scurrying around the kitchen when Danse rose on the morning of the Holiday celebration, the paladin pausing only momentarily to yawn in the doorway before sleepily offering his assistance. "Is there something I can help with, Vega?"

"Uh, Sturges, he said something about you and stuff from Goodneighbor, I think?" Elizabeth replied, obviously preoccupied with whatever she had in the semi-functional oven. Danse nodded, trudging across the kitchen to tug on his boots by the door.

Shaun bounded out of the bathroom, his face still damp from his morning wash. "Oh, can I help too? Please Mom, let me help Mister Danse and Mister Sturges!" He begged.

"You'd better stay right where Danse and Sturges can see you." Backhand instructed him sternly, one oven-mitted hand gesturing to indicate the gravity of the situation. "Otherwise you're coming straight back inside. Go put on your warm coat."

Shaun cheered in delight, racing back to his room.

"It's okay that he's with you two, right? I know he's not your responsibility." Backhand continued in an undertone to the paladin.

Danse's throat tightened and it took him a moment to respond, "I don't mind at all. He's a very well-behaved child."

"Let me know if he's an issue and I'll bring him back inside. I just need to get this done and the oven is being all-"

Danse stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders, deliberately schooling his expression into something more stern. "General, you're doing a fine job. Stop worrying."

"Am I? Shit, I really hope so." Elizabeth mumbled, tipping her forehead until it rested against his chest. Danse prayed she couldn't hear his heart, hammering merely from her proximity. God, his body was nothing but an embarrassment waiting to happen. "I've never really done this crap. Not sure if I'm cut out for it."

The momentary respite was broken when Shaun reappeared in his oversized flannel and oilcloth jacket, the child bolting past the two adults to put on his boots. Danse reluctantly released Backhand, noting how flushed her face was but not really daring to dwell on it. "I'll...I'll watch him." The paladin said, his voice a bit stilted. "I promise."

"Thank you." Backhand mumbled, wiping her eyes and then returning to coddle…whatever it was in the oven.

"Ready, Shaun?" Danse asked the boy, who nodded rapidly and extended a hand.

The snow outside was still fresh from the night before and Danse took a moment to appreciate the view of the Commonwealth covered in a thin layer of white. Off in the distance, the towering crimson insignia of the Red Rocket gasoline station stood stark against the backdrop of the gray sky. Even further down the road slumbered the empty shell of Concord, the tallest of the town's dilapidated buildings only just visible from the paladin's position.

Shaun tugged at his hand, pulling his attention back to the present. "Mister Danse, Mister Sturges is waiting for us!" The child announced, waving up at the engineer who was currently settled into a crook of the brittle branches that graced the tree on the cul-de-sac island. "Hi Mister Sturges!"

"Howdy fellas! Come to give me a helpin' hand?" Sturges called, grinning down at the two of them.

"What assistance can we offer?" Danse queried, wary that the other man might suggest Shaun climb up to him. His fears were quickly allayed when Sturges instead asked Shaun and Danse to begin untangling the long strands of old lights.

Hancock and his ilk had arrived from Goodneighbor, bearing the gifts of dubious treats and many, many mangled strings of lights. Goodneighbor had always been drenched in neon, after all, so Danse had assumed the ghoul mayor would be the best person to call upon for aid. It would appear that Hancock had delivered in spectacular fashion.

"With your help, we'll have this place lookin' pretty as a picture in no time!"

…

Maybe she had bitten off slightly more than she could chew, trying to cook a traditional dinner. Backhand sighed, glumly poking at the cold poultry with a wooden spoon. Her cooking skills had never been much to write home about in the first place, and this only served to solidify that fact.

"Oh Mum, I'm so sorry. The old oven just isn't how it used to be." Codsworth commented, his mechanical voice tinged with melancholy.

"It's not a big deal, Codsworth. I hate to waste the food, that's all." Backhand muttered, assuring herself that she wasn't fighting back frustrated tears, her eyes were just tired. "Damn thing didn't even get to the warm phase."

"Mum, if I might suggest…?" The robot started hesitantly, carrying on when she nodded. "Perhaps it can be salvaged. After all, we make bread in that same pan by tucking it beneath the hot coals out front. What do you say, shall we give it a go?"

"Got nothing to lose, right?"

"It will be just fine, Mum! You're an adaptive sort." Codsworth remarked, drifting out the front door to stoke the usual cooking fire to life once more. "Indeed, just fine!" He called.

Vega shook her head ruefully. "Oh I'm sure." The woman grumbled. "Can't cook and comes with baggage. What a catch ol' Vega is." At least the bread had come out well, in spite of the brisk weather. She could thank whoever for that small favor.

Once Codsworth had coaxed the embers to life in the fire pit, Elizabeth bundled up and brought the still-cold cast-iron pot outside. Maybe it had been wishful thinking to believe that the oven portion of her stove would still work. Or even heat at all. It had been promising earlier in the week, but this might be a blessing in disguise. If the whole house had gone up due to a cooking malfunction...well, the holidays wouldn't be too happy then, would they?

"Please cook." She begged under her breath, troweling hot coals onto the battered dutch oven lid. "I need this, y'know? Just a little victory, that's all I'm asking for here."

"Shall I get started on the tatoes, Miss Vega?"

Elizabeth nodded, only half-listening to Codsworth. She knew she would have a good forty five minutes to an hour to wait, and it wasn't as if it was colder outside than it was inside. The joys of semi-functional heating!

Vega shook her head at herself after a second, since when did she dwell on everything that Sanctuary wasn't? At the end of the day, it was her home. She wouldn't trade it for the world, and she knew she had much more than most people.

At that thought, her gaze wandered to where Danse and Shaun were. The larger man had Shaun on his shoulders while he patiently unwound a massive bundle of flickering string lights. Shaun, for his part, was passing the untangled lights up to Sturges. The engineer slid down the ladder so he could reach the child, looping the lights over his arm before climbing back up and painstakingly placing them in the gnarled grasp of the tree's limbs.

The manufactured cheer that the lights had given off pre-war was still somewhat there, though the radiant colors were washed out to pastel and the warm whites had gone dingy gray. Instead of it being a melancholy reminder that her life had changed irreparably, Backhand was overcome with gratitude. For her son's safe return, regardless of his synthetic makeup, and for the man who was currently carrying Shaun on his shoulders. For her home, for her family.

A family.

Perhaps she was getting a little ahead of herself. After all, Danse was still adjusting to life in ordinary time. It would be selfish of her to voice her feelings to him while he was coming to terms with everything that had happened. For better or for worse, their lives were different now.

It ought to be enough that he was in her life at all. She should be content. His presence alone was a miracle; for all intents and purposes he should be dead. Yet there he was, mere feet away, helping to brighten up the holiday celebration.

Tonight there would be a multitude of visitors. God only knew how many would arrive from settlements near and far, to say nothing of Goodneighbor, Diamond City, the Prydwen and the Castle! It would be an incredibly busy evening for certain. Hancock had arrived early with a posse of ragtag drifters from Goodneighbor, all of them offering gifts of food or scavenged ornaments to decorate. Hence the massive mound of lights that was currently being diligently sorted through.

The aforementioned ghoul appeared to have delegated the task of quality checking the lights, as his form currently leaned against the faded blue siding of her house. With cigarette smoke wafting from his mouth and nasal cavity in equal amounts, he seemed content to just watch the chaos unfold.

"Aren't you a little chilly?" Backhand queried, raising an eyebrow. The mayor was still clad in his usual garb of...for lack of a better term, repurposed period dress. Granted it wasn't seasonably cold out, at least not like how she remembered it being before the bombs dropped.

"Nah, we ghouls run pretty warm. Ham's like a portable space heater." Hancock answered, giving her a lazy grin. "Cute of you to worry, though. I must be growin' on ya'."

"Whoa there, let's not get too crazy."

"Whatcha' think, General?" Sturges shouted from his perch, waving to get her attention.

Danse turned in place, appearing to realize that she was watching as his hands flew up and grabbed Shaun's legs, stabilizing the small boy on his shoulders.

Backhand couldn't keep from smiling when she called back, "it looks wonderful! Keep up the great work!"

"That ain't the only thing that looks wonderful, right Sunshine?" Hancock snickered, rolling his eyes at the now-sputtering woman. "You better give the Brave Little Toaster the ride of his life, that's all I gotta' say."

"Hancock!" Vega hissed, making a half-hearted swipe at the mayor. "You fuckin'--"

"Ah ah, little pitchers!" Hancock scolded, tilting his head to the side to draw Vega's attention to the rapidly-approaching form of Duncan, MacCready's son. "Gotta' watch that mouth of yours, Sunshine."

"This ain't over, ya' raisin-lookin' bastard." Backhand snarled under her breath, pasting on a friendly smile for Duncan while Hancock wheezed with laughter. "Hey bud, how's things?" She greeted the child, who grimaced.

"Dad's kissin' Miss Cait again. S'gross." The little boy announced, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"That does sound pretty gross." Hancock piped up before Backhand could reply. "But you like seein' your old man happy, right? The lady makes him happy. Simple as that."

"Yeah, I guess. Can I play with Shaun?" Duncan asked Vega, eyes wide as he seemed to take in the tree covered with lights.

"Go ahead, kiddo! Just be careful and stay away from Sturges' ladder." Elizabeth warned, grinning when the little boy took off with a whoop.

Cait and MacCready strode up after a moment, both of them red-faced. MacCready bent double, his hands on his knees. "I'm not built for these bullsh--awful conditions." He panted. "I don't know how the kid does it. He was nearly dead a few months ago and now he's out here kicking the snow in the a--er, butt."

Backhand glanced around, and then snorted. "You call this snow? It's a dusting. Back before-"

"Ah ah, easy now Mumsicle, we ain't got time for yer trip down memory lane." Cait teased. "Work to be done, aye? C'mon then, General, shape up. What you doin' on the ground anyway, all crouched like a mother hen broodin'?"

"I'm cooking." Vega replied tersely.

"Oh aye? Looks like yer shirkin' t' me, love. Codsy can manage that mess, c'mon." Cait seized her elbow, levering her up out of the snowy grass. "Now, what needs doin'?"

...

The day was a whirlwind of arrivals, preparations and well wishers. Elder Brandis even stopped by briefly, taking precious time away from his all-consuming duties to distribute some useful supplies and catch up on the gossip.

The Diamond City trio graced Sanctuary with their presence shortly before noon, Nat scurrying off to play with Duncan and Shaun while Piper made a beeline for Hancock's merry band. Nick was more keen to meander around the outskirts of the groups forming, amber eyes taking in his surroundings.

Preston appeared midafternoon with X6, Curie and the entire O'Brian clan in tow, later than expected but apparently they had stopped to help out a settlement along the way.

The cul-de-sac soon rang with the laughter of the rambunctious children; even little Siusan was permitted to briefly toddle about in the trampled snow under the watchful gaze of Eamon. The weather was chilly but the sun had broken through the clouds throughout the day, sending momentary waves of brilliance across the Commonwealth.

Every table and chair that could be salvaged had been assembled on the old foundation at the end of the cul-de-sac, and it was there that the adults began to gather as the sun set. Metal drums loaded with wood were lit, providing heat and illumination to the many guests of the Commonwealth's first official potluck dinner.

"Or rather," Piper amended, clearing her throat with a touch of self-importance as she tapped her notepad, "the first documented official potluck dinner."

The large tree twinkled and shone in the fast-approaching darkness, the occasional flicker or broken bulb doing little to diminish the cheer it provided. The food was distributed, Backhand's roast chicken disappearing without a hitch. The young woman couldn't help doing a mental dance of victory, delighted that Codsworth's quick thinking had saved that particular endeavor.

Vega found a place to sit somewhere in the middle of one of the many long tables, red from the praise of her companions and the persistent chill in the air. She got even redder when Preston loudly proclaimed a toast, to the General!, her lieutenant tipping his bottle and everyone else following suit.

"I remember when I first met the general, she was half-dead on her feet." Preston began the story, his smile fond. "Sturges couldn't even believe our luck. Hell, none of us could. When freedom called, our general answered!"

Backhand, who had lived the story and knew all the ins and outs, found her attention wandering to Danse while Preston regaled the crowd with his tale. The paladin seemed to be listening closely, his meal forgotten. Deacon even began to thieve bits of chicken and tato out from beneath his nose, the Railroad agent shooting Vega a sly wink over his sunglasses.

Backhand shook her head at the other man's antics, then focused her attention on Preston. "...'Lurk queen, a huge, mean seabug, taken out by landmines! The Castle was ours once again, and we all had General Vega to thank for it." The lieutenant stated firmly. "The one who can get things done in the Commonwealth, the one who gave folks hope when it was in mighty short supply. We uh, we owe you a lot, ma'am." He raised his bottle once more. "To General Vega, leader of the Minutemen!"

"To Elizabeth!" Hancock yelled, echoed by half the damn populace as Vega tried to wave it off, the young woman laughing awkwardly. "To our Sunshine, the hero of the Commonwealth!"

"Synth savior, a regular knight in shining armor." Deacon teased.

"Well done, General Vega." Danse said warmly, "I can't know for certain whether the Brotherhood itself would be proud, but I certainly am." His praise for whatever reason made Vega's blush feel like it would scorch her skin.

Oh she knew damn well why, she was just being willfully oblivious at this point.

"Speech! Speech! Is that not zee norm for zis sort of occasion?" Curie called, the diminutive synth currently sharing X6-88's coat as well as his plate of food. X6 didn't seem to have any reservations about the matter, his arm slung around her shoulders without a care in the world.

Much to Vega's chagrin, the majority appeared to be in favor of such a vocal endeavor. She attempted to laugh off the suggestion to no avail, and finally got to her feet. "Alright, alright, settle down. I'll say a few words if it'll get you all off my damn back." She grumbled, her body thoroughly warm now with a combination of embarrassment and gratitude. "I uh…"

Vega trailed off as she looked out over the ragtag gang of expectant faces staring back at her. So many friends and neighbors, finally getting the chance to breathe. The chance to celebrate the fruits of their labor...it was sobering.

"I can't thank you all enough for...well, for everything that you've done. You all sacrificed so much for this peace, stuff I could never imagine doing even before the bombs dropped." She cleared her throat. "My mentor, Sergeant Shaun Cathan, was a great man, and he often had some very succinct or choice words which I'm not about to repeat in polite company."

"Aw c'mon-!" Zeke began to protest loudly, his voice fading as he noticed the small gaggle of children still gawking at his power armor.

Backhand continued, her jaw set firmly, "but one thing I can say that he told me is this: a leader who permits their pride to impede their decisions is doomed to failure. Pride built the Institute, and that same pride rotted it to the core. Pride built the Brotherhood of Steel, the Minutemen, and we've seen the both of them nearly toppled." Vega clenched her fist. "Pride brought nuclear fire down on Boston, but people hauled themselves outta' the ashes of that fire. Good people, tough people. Folks I knew. Folks I cared for, even if some of 'em did spend a little too much time on the Cape. If pride can do so much effin' harm, I expect simple compassion and decency to do just as much good. Hell, more than that. Humanity's built itself back up after the cluster that was armageddon, and we ain't through yet."

She tipped the jar she had been drinking out of towards the crowd, sternly studying the collection of scavengers, families both new and familiar.

...

"So here's to you, my friends. To all that you've done, and to all that you will do."

Vega's salute was rigid, pre-war. Like her helmet on the table beside her, scraped and covered in faded sigils. The mixture of candlelight and the lights on the tree reflected off the worn lenses of her glasses, shielding her eyes from view. Danse wished desperately that he could see her eyes; more than anything he wished to stand up and flat-out state what she had done for him to every soul there, display his...admiration.

Was that even the right word? Admiration, adoration, affection--

His face was strangely warm all of a sudden. Danse flinched, staring down at his mug of coffee with single-minded intent as the buzz of conversation around him picked back up. His mind raced, pieces falling into place in a nigh-unstoppable rush.

Affection. Like...what he had felt for Cutler? Almost. A little to the left of that. Brighter.

Happier.

Not perfect, nothing could ever be perfect. But...

"Elizabeth Vega?" A male ghoul's voice barely penetrated the paladin's consciousness, his words not really registering until, "Beth, it really is you!" The ghoul exclaimed. "I thought I was crazy! It's me, Beth. It's Nate."

"...Nate?"

Danse's head whipped up so fast his neck popped in warning, the paladin having been only tangentially aware of the conversation happening mere feet away from his position. But at that particular nickname his entire being snapped to attention, eyes darting sidelong from where he had been intently studying his mug of coffee.

The ghoul man that Vega was currently speaking to was an inch or two taller than her, with a single tuft of dark hair that still remained over his left ear. He appeared absolutely delighted, but Vega seemed...wary.

"Beth," Danse heard him say once more, and he watched Backhand visibly tense. "I never thought I would see you again! After the bombs dropped--I mean how the hell did...is that Shaun? God, he got so big!"

"Nate, is there something I can do for you?"

Nate.

Danse's breath caught in his throat and his mouth went dry. Nate? Nate her ex-husband from before the war? Nate, the man who had divorced her once he found out she was pregnant with his child?

Somehow he had managed to survive?

Oh, what an incredibly bitter thing to think! Danse was somewhat startled by his own dark path of reasoning. But it wasn't untrue; his mind railed at the unfairness of it all.

The paladin stood up, his mug of coffee forgotten. He wasn't exactly certain what he was about to do, but he also wasn't going to do nothing. He cast around wildly for a plan as he approached Elizabeth from behind around the table, and Danse latched onto what was probably the least intelligent course of action that he could have conjured up.

"Elizabeth," the paladin called, loud enough to be heard over the general hubbub. She turned and Danse briefly spied a look of intense relief on her face before he enveloped her in his arms. "You appeared cold, figured I could warm you up a bit." He reasoned aloud, smiling benignly over her head at Nate. "Who's this?"

Vega began to introduce him even with her face still comically buried in Danse's chest, "Nate, I'd like you to meet-"

"Paladin Logan Danse, Northeastern chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel." Danse interrupted her smoothly, extending a hand to Nate. "I've heard a great deal about you, Nate. It's a privilege to meet you, and a welcome surprise to see that you endured the radiation."

"Uh, is it? Well I-I guess it is." Nate looked flummoxed and crestfallen all at once, glumly shaking Danse's hand. "I suppose you two are, er..."

"Vega is my partner, yes. For over a year now." Danse replied once the other man had trailed off, his tone saccharine-sweet. He heard Vega gasp against his chest. "She is a truly incredible woman. I'm immensely lucky."

"Yeah, I...yeah. Uh, I have to go...talk to--I'll see you later, Beth." Nate squeaked, sidestepping away from the two of them and making a beeline for the road.

"I can't even believe it." Backhand's voice grated with tangible irritation. "I cannot even fuckin' fathom--I...dammit, why him?!" She seethed into Danse's jacket, clenching her fists on his hips. "Phew, boy, I sort of thought I'd already dealt with all that resentment." The woman admitted unhappily.

"You do things in your own time." Danse replied quietly. "Are you alright?"

Vega went still for a second. Danse felt her unclench her fists, hands going slack on his body. Had he misspoken-?

"In my own time, huh?" Vega muttered, almost like she was thinking out loud. "I...I'll be back in a little while, Danse."

…

I'm not panicking. Definitely not panicking. One hundred percent not panicking, totally fine.

Backhand scurried away from the paladin, trying to hide the tell-tale redness of her face. She needed to find either Mrs. O'Brian or MacCready, fast.

As luck would have it, MacCready found her. The former merc tapped on her shoulder as she bounced up on her tiptoes to search for Mrs. O'Brian. "Hey boss, Shaun wanted me to ask you if he could sleep over with Duncan tonight." The man began after she whirled around to face him.

"Yes." Vega replied, perhaps a little too quick and definitely too enthusiastic. "Mac you're a lifesaver, I was just about to ask-"

"-for me and Cait to watch your kid so you and the tin can can get some alone time?" MacCready smirked, giving her a wink. "Dang General, I don't think I've ever seen you so red! Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

"Shut up, Mac, you're so exasperating." Backhand jabbed a teasing finger into the center of his chest. "You talk, Mayor, and I'll know." The threat was toothless; the both of them grinned at each other after their fierce staring contest. "Thanks for everything."

"Don't mention it. I figure getting you some Brotherhood...uh, Steel, heh, is a pretty decent way to make up for the fact that I didn't bring you a present." Mac shrugged, fiddling with the bill of his hat. "I have beef with the Capital Brotherhood, but these guys...I mean, they don't seem all bad." He allowed grudgingly, giving Vega a gentle nudge with his shoulder. "Go on."

A bracing shot of whiskey shored up her tenuous spark of confidence and Vega marched back to Danse, the large man now engaged in conversation with X6 while Shaun, Duncan, Bridget, Nat and Matthew swirled around their ankles.

Danse was saying, "--collateral ramifications would be inadvisable, I suggest a soft breach. With adequate preparation-"

"Adequate preparation on your part borders on over-caution." X6 interrupted him dismissively. "However, I will take it into account and speak with Preston on the matter. He seems to share your morality. A pity."

"Play at the unfeeling machine all you want, X6." Danse retorted. "It does you no favors. You have people who care about you now, and you would not have asked for my input if you believed the endeavour would be futile."

"True enough, Paladin." The vaguest hint of a smile tugged at X6's mouth. "You are capable."

"I suppose that is the best that I can hope for."

"Hey, Danse? Can I uh, have a little chat?" Backhand asked, stifling a hysterical giggle when Danse immediately looked guilty. The paladin nodded, bidding X6 farewell and attempting to sidestep around the children who were currently playing tag in an ever-tightening circle. "Not um, here though. Let's go to my house, okay? Shaun, you're all set to stay overnight with Duncan, Mac and Cait, right?"

"Yeah!" Shaun replied breathlessly, pausing in his chase to give his mother a massive grin. "Already brought my blankets over and everything. Mister MacCready said Duncan and I could sleep in their wagon, and that he'd tell us Grognak stories!"

Danse's brow furrowed. "We are leaving the gathering, then?" He asked, looking a bit distressed when Elizabeth nodded. "A moment, please." He turned back to the children, calling for Shaun.

The boy bolted away from the group, skidding in the muddy slush. "Yeah, Mister Danse?" He asked, his impatience plain.

"I, er. I...happy holidays." The paladin mumbled, extracting a small bundle from his jacket pocket and giving it to the child.

"Whoa, for me?!" Shaun practically crowed, tearing through the old newspaper to reveal the gift.

It was a sturdy carved vehicle, its edges sleek and smooth. The wood was coated in shiny green paint, giving the little truck a distinct air of newness in this post-apocalyptic world. Danse swallowed audibly as Shaun stared down at the toy without saying a word.

Backhand closed her eyes, hoping and praying that the kid remembered his manners. She hadn't even known Danse had planned on giving him something. Did he make the truck himself? It was wood, not the usual plastic or aluminum of pre-war children's toys. When had he found the time to make a toy? She suddenly remembered his uncharacteristically wide yawn that morning and her eyes flew open, darting to look at Danse. He had been staying up, hadn't he?

"I love it, Mister Danse!" Shaun interrupted her mental panic with his enthusiastic eruption, smiling wide and bolting forward to hug Danse around the waist. Danse's own relief was evident, the large man patting the child on the back with an awkward chuckle.

Oh Jesus, I'm not going to cry, Vega insisted, taking a deep breath. Nope, won't do it.

"Mom look, look what Mister Danse gave me!" Shaun exclaimed, as if she hadn't been standing right there the whole time.

"It's really cool, right?" Backhand grinned, rumpling his hair and then giving him a kiss on the forehead. "Make sure you wash your face and brush your teeth before bed, okay? I hope you and Duncan have fun. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom, I will. Thank you again, Mister Danse!" Shaun rushed to say, clearly eager to return to his friends.

"Alright, go on." Vega tapped the end of his nose, "go have fun." She watched him scramble through the slush, nearly tripping again. "Jesus, he's a bull in a china shop," she sighed, making Danse snort. "Shall we, Paladin?"

He fell into step beside her, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket and his back ramrod straight. He was silent until they were actually in Elizabeth's living room, the young woman barely able to shut the front door before he started babbling, "if I offended you earlier, if I-I overstepped my bounds, I apologize. I just recalled what you had said about the name he used for you and I'm afraid I started moving before I could reconsider-"

"Danse, do you remember how we started all of this?" Vega cut off what promised to be a downright incredible justification, cocking her head to the side. "How we met, and what happened?"

"You came to our aid at the Cambridge police station. Then you carried on assisting me with our mission. You helped acquire the deep range transmitter. You greased my armor." Danse paused, fidgeting. "You...said it was alright if I wanted to kiss you."

“It’s alright if you want to kiss me, you know.” Her smile was gentle. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Vega nodded, smiling once more. "The offer still stands, naturally."

"I...things are different now. I'm different. You still...even now, after everything that you know about me?"

"Of course."

"I didn't want to believe you felt that strongly about our...about us." Danse was smiling, actually smiling! "I'd given up hope a long time ago that I would ever be enough for anyone. I was never...enough. Smart enough, or strong enough or...well, just enough, I suppose." He shrugged, his smile fading. "With what happened between Maxson and I, and previously with Cutler…" The large man trailed off.

Vega took a deep breath, nodding furiously. "I do feel strongly for you. Danse, I know that this is a lot, b-but I...uh, I think I love you." She gestured up and down at the speechless paladin, feeling the heat that bloomed fresh on her cheeks. "Not just the wrapping, y'know, but uh. The whole package. You."

His look of shock and confusion slowly dissolved into something unreadable, and he broke eye contact for a moment to stare down at his boots.

"Uh, it's okay if you don't reciprocate! O-Or even if you can't reciprocate, I'm not going to be offended!" Elizabeth rushed to add, waving her hands nervously. "I know that this is a lot to dump on you all at once, I-I'm sorry. I don't want you feeling pressured to give me an affirmative answer just because you don't want to hurt my feelings or whatever."

"I...I can't say that I haven't thought about it." He admitted softly. "But Shaun, he needs--Vega, I'm not really human."

"Neither is Shaun, but I don't love him any less." Elizabeth replied. "Shaun is my son. For all intents and purposes, he is my real son, Danse."

"It's one thing to overlook it for a child, Vega. But I'm...what if something goes wrong with me? What if there's some sort of fault in my programming, and that's why I'm like this? What if-"

"It's alright if you don't want me, or even if this is too much right now. I know, it's a lot." Vega interrupted him, her heart sinking but determined to make damn sure he didn't feel pressured.

"Christ, that's not what I meant. I just want to make certain you know exactly what it is that you're agreeing to." Danse cut her off, his shoulders rigid like he was bracing for impact.

"I understand, Danse. I've understood for a while now." Elizabeth dared to rest her hand on his arm. "I want to be with you. I know that nothing in this shitshow of a future is guaranteed and I want to have something good in my life before my inevitable demise at the hands of some overconfident mole rat."

Danse nodded stiffly, and then grabbed her by the lapels of her canvas coat. Vega found herself abruptly pinned against the wall, Danse's mouth hungrily seeking her own. "You mean that?" He panted.

The brush of the stubble on his face reminded her of their first kiss in the Cambridge station and drove home the differences between he and Nate for the hundredth time. Nate was always clean-shaven, favored pecks on the cheek and lived saturated with cologne. But Danse was grizzled, earnest, reeking of the outdoors and power armor grease. Nate had been eloquent, while Danse was taciturn or tripped over his words. Nate was cold and calculating, and Danse…

Danse was fiery and raw, more vulnerable now than she could ever recall him being before. His knee nudged against her thigh and without conscious input, Elizabeth parted her legs for it and threw her arms around his neck to try to urge him even closer. "Yes, Danse," she gasped. "Oh, Jesus, yes, fuck-ing shit--"

She ground herself down against his leg, relieved that everything seemed to be functioning normally and somewhat impressed by her body's ability to mount such a rapid response after a two hundred-plus year dry spell!

"Language," Danse rumbled in reply, his hands tugging her heavy coat off of her shoulders. "Too fast?"

"No, hell no!" Backhand protested, "not fast enough."

"Shh," Danse rested his hands on her hips, shoving up her shirt slightly so he could touch bare skin. "I have you, Vega." Vega pushed herself excitedly into his grip, grinding on his thigh and arching her back. The way his breath hitched sent shockwaves to her core; the way he watched her...

"Danse we should...we should-" Vega's voice wavered as Danse laved her throat with tender kisses. "-should--bedroom, bed."

"Yes." The paladin growled, making no move to actually follow the direction. That is, until he hoisted her up to rest on his hips.

Backhand yelped, her thighs gripping his sides tightly. "H-Hey!"

Danse pressed his forehead to her own, brown eyes attempting to read her soul. "Elizabeth…" he sighed, his expression gone hopelessly soft. "I should warn you, if we...if you do this, I...listen, I can be a little--a little wordy, sometimes. If I am speaking too much-"

"Hey, no, you talk as much as you'd like, okay? Doesn't bug me at all." Vega assured him, slightly curious about what this might mean. Wordy?

"Elizabeth, you are everything that I never knew I was looking for." Danse murmured. "When I lost Cutler, I didn't think I deserved to be happy again. I assumed that my failure would continue to darken any future triumph, and when the majority of Gladius was...I feared that I was unfit for my rank. How could anyone have faith in my skills after such a catastrophic loss of life?"

"It's hard being the one making the choices. You have to be able to bear the burden of responsibility and also the burden of guilt." Vega reasoned, sympathizing with his plight.

"You had faith in me, though. You didn't even know me, but you didn't judge me for my inadequacy and you allowed me some damn peace. I'm just sorry you had to go through that abuse at Maxson's whim for my sake." Danse cupped her hand in his own, pressing kisses to her scarred knuckles. "You've already done so much for me, Vega. Let me undo you?" He offered seriously, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Well, I uh, I-I can't say I've ever been propositioned quite like that!" Backhand stuttered, certain that her flush covered her entire body at this point.

His laughter, heard so rarely, washed over her like a tidal wave. "Forgive me."

"Only if you keep asking me to have sex like that." Vega shifted her hand in his grip, intertwining their fingers. "C'mon, bedroom."

"It's not just that." Danse tried to protest, shaking his head. "I care about you. About your wellbeing. I want to make you happy."

"You do. So happy. I'm so glad that you're here with me still." Vega turned in the doorway of her room when he set her down, seizing Danse by the collar of his worn t-shirt and tugging him into her arms. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Danse."

"You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that."

"It's the truth, though!" She insisted.

Danse surged forward, his kisses still rough and demanding as he fought to claim her affection. But she gave it freely, all he could ever want and more.

He stripped her of her shirt and dragged his own off over his head, chuckling at the way she greedily drank in the bare skin he presented. "See something you like, General?"

He was hairier than she was used to, but Backhand decided it suited him. Nate, after all, had been absolutely adamant that body hair was grotesque, and now look at him. He'd likely never have to worry about that again.

Thinking of Nate yet again put a frown on her face and Danse paused, giving her a quizzical look. "Is something amiss?"

"Oh! No, I'm sorry. I was just remembering. Nate was all…" Elizabeth gestured vaguely at Danse's chest. "He shaved everything. I'm not used to all...well, seeing so much."

"Is it off-putting? I assure you it's within the Brotherhood's hygiene guidelines, but if you don't like it I-"

"No, I love it. It's new. I've seen your arms, after all, I knew what I was getting into." Vega teased, grinning to ease his worry. "If you can accept all my stretch marks and leftovers, I can definitely handle your chest pelt."

"I'm planning on doing far more than accepting." Danse cradled her breasts in his palms, the paladin lowering his head to draw his tongue over one of her nipples. "I don't care." He soothed when Elizabeth tried to stammer out something else in regard to her stretch marks. "I don't care. It doesn't make you any less desirable to me, Elizabeth."

Vega squeezed her eyes shut, kissing his forehead as he continued to cautiously rouse her peaks until they were stiff and aching for more. Then his thumbs took over, stroking in slow, firm circles that made her quiver from head to toe. "You...you're really good at that." Elizabeth said faintly.

"I'm pleased you think so." Danse grunted when her fingers found his belt buckle. "It has been a significant amount of time for me as well, I...my excitement may be a bit obvious." He admitted, his smile sheepish.

Vega's breath caught in her throat, her hands trembling as she struggled to draw down the worn zipper of his jeans. The underside of his cock throbbed against her palm when she dared to slip her hand into his briefs, his skin searing and smooth.

Danse huffed out a breath, crumpling a little at her tentative touch. "Elizabeth," he groaned, hiding his face in her neck as he rolled his hips eagerly into her hand.

"Keep saying my name like that." She ordered, laughing when the paladin nodded rapidly into her shoulder. "I love you, Danse."

...

Danse rumbled again, words failing him while Elizabeth's fingers wrapped around his cock. This seemed like a dream, another one of his fantasies brought into being. He couldn't seem to do anything aside from stare down at her hand.

"Hey, Danse?"

He jerked to attention, eyes flying up to meet her own guiltily. "Y-Yes, Vega?" He stuttered.

"Do you...uh, y'know." Backhand fumbled to undo the button on her jeans. "You can, if you'd like." She finished awkwardly.

No sooner had she given him permission than Danse was pulling her hand out of his pants, urging her backwards onto her bed even as he kissed her battered knuckles again. "Yes." He grated out, kneeling to untie her boots so he could get her pants off. "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes."

"A for enthusiasm, big guy." Elizabeth teased, lazily fingercombing his short hair back. Her veneer of composure was shattered when the paladin eased her underwear down her legs, the young woman covering her face as if she was embarrassed. "Listen, just uh, go easy on me. It's been over two hundred years, after all." She reasoned weakly.

Danse swallowed hard. Cutler had always praised his dirty talk, the calculated way he could take apart a person with his words and touch alone. Maxson hadn't appreciated his speech, granted, but perhaps…

"You're saying you don't want me to bury my fingers in you, Elizabeth? You don't want me to open you up, work my way into that beautiful, flushed little cunt of yours?" Danse rasped, two fingers tracing lightly on her pubic mound. Her cesarean scar was faintly visible, and he felt a brief flare of concern before recalling that was indeed where the scar was from.

"Oh, Jesus. Okay." Vega gasped, blue eyes wide in what Danse could only assume was shock. "Keep that up and you won't have to worry about using anything else. Fuck, Danse, have some pity here." She pleaded, burying her hands in her hair.

"Language. Do you deserve my pity? How would you earn it?" The paladin queried, the heel of his hand applying steady pressure to her mound now.

"I can be good, Paladin! I can be really good. So good." Her breathless use of his title had Danse's cock pounding, though he tried not to make it obvious. "Please Danse, please touch me…"

Danse climbed up onto the bed alongside her, gently parting her labia with his fingers. "You'll be good for me, Elizabeth?" He asked, propping himself up with an elbow.

"Yes, please."

She had wonderful manners. Danse grazed her clit and her breath stuttered, the paladin spreading the liberal lubrication that she had already created with deft, slow strokes of his index. "Please, what?"

"P-Please...Danse."

He cautiously eased one finger into her, exhaling raggedly when her hand sought out his cock. "Vega-"

"Shh, let me." Elizabeth hushed him, her smile a little dreamy as Danse crooked his finger and rubbed in just the right spot. "Oh, f-uck, Paladin, you--"

"Language, Vega. Can't have you being a bad example while I'm knuckle deep in your cunt." Danse admonished, groaning when she whimpered. "You're so tight, this could take ages. We'll need to come up with some stretches to cope with this." He teased gruffly, sliding in another finger and spreading her open. "Mm, Elizabeth, you need to relax. Relax." He murmured, latching onto her breast.

He felt her pussy clench down around his fingers and he took a greedy suckle from her breast, making Vega cry out his name, "Danse!" She twitched and writhed under his deft attack, her thighs quivering even as she tried to spread them wider for him. Her hand fell still on his cock, not that Danse minded. It had always been more about his partner, he couldn't care less if nothing was done for him. Watching someone else fall apart because of him...now that was its own reward.

"What do I need to do to get you there, hmm?" Danse taunted playfully, tonguing sloppily over the peak of her breast. "What will it take, Elizabeth?"

She arched her back in response, pressing her breast firmly against his mouth, and Danse gently nibbled on the sensitive area she had offered up. Elizabeth sobbed out, shoving one hand down to her cunt to spread herself even wider for his plundering fingers. "More, Danse! Please please please-" she begged, her moan when he pressed a third finger into her absolutely enough to have Danse hurrying to talk himself down. "Yes, Danse." She was practically growling, her arousal something primal and untamed.

If Danse had his way, it would stay like that forever.

"What is it that you want, Vega?" His inquiry was almost lazy, three fingers stroking in and out with much less resistance now. "Hmm, I wonder if you're wet enough to take me."

"You can't just-" Vega made a noise of dismay. "That's not fair, Danse, that's not fair, you know it's not. Please, please fuck me."

Jesus. Danse almost choked on his own breath, letting his fingers slip out of her cunt. "How do you want me?" His voice broke noticeably. It felt like a lifetime since he had been desired, wanted in such a blatant and strangely pure fashion. She loved him. She wanted him inside her. Wanted him to make love to her. Wanted him.

The speed at which she flung herself up a little higher on the bed made Danse want to laugh, but then she was arching her back and looking over her shoulder at him and he suddenly forgot how to breathe for a moment. "This okay?" She panted, brown hair all tumbled around her face as she took off her glasses and pitched them in the general direction of her bedside table.

Danse nodded hurriedly, kicking his pants off. "If you need me to stop, just grab my hand." He instructed.

"This isn't exactly my first time getting fucked, Danse-"

"Language," the paladin reprimanded her with a chuckle, greedily fondling her rear as he mounted up behind her. "You have such a beautiful form, Vega." He murmured, leaning over to press a kiss between her shoulder blades. "An absolute vision."

"I do have nice tits."

Danse rolled his eyes, slipping his hands down to grope said breasts. She gasped out, rocking back against him as he agreed, "yes you do, that can't be denied. Soft, the perfect size, they fit in my hands so well, and so sensitive." He found himself laughing when she whimpered again. "Don't offer up all your weak spots unless you want them taken advantage of, Vega."

"The only thing I want to take advantage of right now is the raging hard-on I can feel." Elizabeth wriggled and Danse grunted, shuddering. "Pl-ease Danse, please put it in me."

The paladin slipped his cock between her labia, the hot, slick flesh pressing against him mercilessly as he teased her. He suddenly felt her fingers on his cock and then-

"Fuck." The paladin grated out the uncharacteristic curse through his teeth, his fists meeting the bedding on either side of her body as he fought the urge to thrust himself home in one breath.

Elizabeth half-collapsed while he slowly, slowly rutted into her, the woman panting and clawing at the blankets. "Mmmgod, Danse-" she slurred, sighing loudly. "So good, fuck, Danse…"

Danse toyed with her nipples, stupidly snarling "language," as she keened in reply. "I'll take care of you, Elizabeth. Be good for me." He pressed a kiss to her temple, smirking at the way her body quaked when he finally bottomed out in her. "That's it, look at you, taking all of me so well," he praised. "Now, how can I make you come?"

"Fu--Please use your big cock to get me off, oh please Danse!" She begged and Danse fondled her breasts yet again.

"You don't want me to touch you here, just like this?" He asked, stroking over her nipples and lingering to tease the area. "They're so hard, though, begging for my attention."

Backhand made a noise of despair, burying her face in her pillow.

"I think you need me to play with them, don't you? You like when I touch them like this." Danse muttered, thinking out loud and coming to that realization even as the words left his mouth. "What is it about it that you like?"

"S-Sensitive." Vega whimpered, "feels good."

Danse rumbled again, bending over to press his chest to her back so he could whisper in her ear, "does it feel good when I'm inside you, Elizabeth? Can you feel how hard I am for you? Feel how badly I need you?"

Elizabeth gifted him this pitiful sound, canting her hips and clenching down around his cock so tightly it took Danse's breath away. "Yes, I love it. I need you too, Danse." She murmured, shifting back and forth ever so slightly.

"Good. I'm glad." Danse took hold of her hips, seating his cock as deeply as he could in her cunt. Elizabeth whined, burying her face in her pillow again as he slowly began to make love to her.

Paladin Logan Danse, pride of the Brotherhood of Steel, had never been a man who took sex lightly. It was too important. Even after everything that had happened with Maxson, Danse still held to that belief. The display of vulnerability, the offer of power in exchange for pleasurable release, the brief moments of tenderness in an existence that was soul-crushingly difficult…

It was serious. It always was.

Vega's arms gave out and she slumped onto the bed, but Danse followed her down. Covering her with his body, the paladin thrust into her again and again, her soft whimpers and cries of his name music to his ears. "What do you need, sweetheart?" He asked raggedly when she began to squirm and arch back against him. "What can I give you, Elizabeth?"

"Fuck me, Danse!" She pleaded, turning her head to the side so she could see him.

"Language," Danse smiled, kissing her temple again. "But understood, ma'am."

…

For the first time since she'd awoken to an irradiated hellscape, Vega was wholly content to just lay down and be taken care of.

Danse was huge, proportionate to his already overgrown size, and he made the most incredible sounds when she inadvertently squeezed down on him. Groans burring in his chest like some untamed animal; he seemed content to just slowly fuck her into oblivion. Which was honestly more than she thought she would ever get.

Her fantasies, much as she'd believed they were wrong or silly at the time, didn't hold a candle to the reality of having Danse on top of her. She had gotten off more than once to this exact idea, being dominated and pinned by the massive paladin. This was a dream come true.

Elizabeth whined when he bottomed out in her again and just rutted himself back and forth slightly, making her feel every inch of his cock. The underside of his dick throbbed against the spot that made her see stars and then, the bastard, he slid his cock out of her cunt to press the head to her clit for a second. "Turn over for me?" He requested, punctuated by a gentle smack to her ass.

Vega rushed to obey, eager to have him back inside her as quickly as possible. The woman spread her legs wide so Danse could settle in between them and when the paladin did, he shifted upwards to kiss her tenderly.

"I've wanted this for so long." He admitted quietly.

"So have I!" Elizabeth replied in delight, her grin beaming. She was sure she looked like a mess, her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat and her face all flushed. But the way Danse was smiling at her…

She found she didn't really care about her appearance at this point in time.

"I love you." Danse murmured as he slid back inside her.

"I l-love you, Danse." Vega stuttered, the natural curvature of his cock applying steady pressure to her g-spot. "Make me feel so good, fuck."

"Language." He growled, making her laugh and then moan.

"Feels too good, brain can't cope." She gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck and tugging him closer until all he could do was grind down into her in a merciless manner. The motion flung her towards her peak, disconnecting her mouth even further from her brain and making her ramble into his ear, "God, I love you so much, make me feel so good--"

"I love you too, Elizabeth." He panted into the hollow of her throat, "you feel incredible. Outstanding."

Elizabeth wasn't sure how she could feel both so aroused she thought she might die and so annoyed that she wanted to explode. "Danse, did you just call my pussy outstanding?"

"It's not an incorrect statement, from my perspective. It's perfect. Wet and tight and hot." The paladin praised her freely, a hand lowering to apply gentle pressure over the scar on her lower stomach. "Beautiful."

I am not going to cry, Vega told herself sternly as she hid her face in Danse's neck. Definitely not going to cry, not going to.

A sob somehow escaped her as she came and Danse froze, his whole body flinching when her cunt clenched down on his dick. "V...Vega?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm fine! I'm fine, I promise, m'not hurt or anything. My brain is just dumb." Elizabeth hiccupped, rubbing her eyes. "I'm okay, Danse, I'm fine."

The paladin seemed uncertain and she couldn't blame him, she didn't seem fine even if she felt a thousand times better than she had in literal months.

"I swear I'm okay, that was just...it was really intense, y'know?" She mumbled awkwardly, unable to make eye contact anymore.

She felt Danse shift his weight and then he settled down on top of her, holding her close and tight. "You're sure?" He murmured, "if you're overwhelmed, that's entirely acceptable. I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No, shit no, you feel incredible. I'm not going to be able to walk after this." Vega huffed, giggling a little when he rolled his eyes. "Keep going, okay? It feels fantastic."

"If you're certain." Danse acquiesced, kissing a hot trail down her neck when she nodded. "Let me know if you need me to stop."

Watching his forearms cord with muscle as he propped himself back up again, Vega's mouth went dry. "I have to say, this might be the best night of my life."

Danse pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead, the tenderness of the action a wonderful contrast to the needy way he sheathed his cock in her body once more. "I've thought about this." He confessed again, punctuated by a roll of his hips. "What you'd sound like, look like beneath me. You put my imagination to shame."

"What did I do in your dreams?" Backhand asked, unable to keep from breathlessly laughing when Danse hid his face in her neck. "So shy, Paladin! Even with that huge cock in me?"

"It's lewd, Elizabeth, I-I'm not proud of it." He mumbled. "Shouldn't have thought of you that way." He spread her legs wider, one hand on the back of each knee to urge her to bend.

"Mm, you thought about fucking me? Nice to know I'm not the only one with dirty thoughts."

"I did not." He protested staunchly. His cock slid back and forth between her pussy lips in a purposeful teasing motion. "I thought about how...I thought about how good it would feel to make love to you." He continued, his voice wavering slightly as his dick brushed her entrance and he plunged deep yet again. "Thought about how good I could make you feel."

Now it was Vega's turn to be shy, the woman looking away from him and flushing.

"It was still inappropriate at the...time, but I assure you it was never about that. I am not-" Danse struggled for a moment to find the words, before he sighed and rested his forehead against her own. "This already isn't simple, and I know I make it miles less so. Forgive me."

"I feel like it's pretty simple." Vega gasped, twitching as his fingers landed on her clit. "I f--fuck, Danse--I feel like it's real simple. You like me. Love me, yeah?"

"It's more than that, dammit." Danse growled, rubbing her clit in merciless circles. "What you did for me...how can I ever be worth your affection? Hell, your time?"

Elizabeth threw her head back, arching her entire body up into his chest. "Whatever good I give to you," she moaned, almost exasperated that they were even having this discussion, "you deserve it. Take it."

Danse's hands latched down on her hips, thumbs stroking back and forth over her pronounced stretch marks as he fucked into her so fiercely that Vega swore she saw stars. His pelvis ground against her own, body hair providing a delicious new sensation that had Vega grasping at the blankets in an effort to keep herself grounded. "I'm going to come, Elizabeth." Danse panted. "Where do you-"

"Inside." Backhand implored him, "come inside me, Paladin, please come inside me-" Her voice broke as she begged and Danse groaned loud, the sound incredulous.

"You...inside? Are you sure?" He asked through gritted teeth, dark brown eyes conveying his uncertainty. In reply, Vega dug the heels of her feet in beneath his rear, effectively locking him in place.

She caught a handful of his hair, gently tugging it until he leaned down again so she could seethe in his ear, "yes."

"Oh, dammit." With that wonderfully characteristic swear, Danse shoved his mouth against hers gracelessly. The heat in her belly spilled over from the onslaught of his enthusiastic thrusts and Backhand cried out, fingernails digging into his back when she came a second time.

Danse, either spurred on by her sounds or by the way her pussy gripped his dick (maybe a combination? Backhand mused) found his release seconds after, his voice breaking and dropping into a lower tone as he moaned her name. Her real name.

Elizabeth.

Vega cupped the nape of his neck, guiding his face into the hollow of her shoulder. "Lay down, sweetheart, you're shaking." She murmured, stroking over his quivering back.

"Don't want to flatten you." Danse rasped, his dick still throbbing inside her.

"Lay down. It's okay." Elizabeth flexed her bicep. "I'm strong, I can handle it." Danse laughed wearily, almost immediately going limp on top of her. She wrapped her arms back around him, fingers digging into the knots that she found to ease out the tension. "There, isn't that better?"

"Mmmmuch." Danse slurred into her neck, sounding exhausted. "Love you."

"I love you. Sleep, okay? We'll get cleaned up later. Right now though you seem like you could use a nap."

Danse nodded, the tangled mess of his hair mashed flat against her cheek in the process. "Want...to be a good parent." He mumbled several minutes later, just as Vega had thought he was dozing off. Danse propped himself up with one arm, cradling Vega's cheek in his palm. His thumb absently traced the cryo burn marks from the stasis as he continued, "a true partner for you. I don't know if you...if you even want me in that capacity, I--I don't know whether you would prefer that Shaun thinks of me as simply your friend, but I-"

"Danse," Elizabeth interrupted him sternly, raising an eyebrow. "Someone who's simply a friend wouldn't be balls deep in me."

Danse sputtered, his blush spreading down his neck to his chest. Despite his proclivity for dirty talk in the moment, he was endearingly embarrassed by her blunt words. Vega felt her heart pound as he floundered to collect himself, the large man looking away.

He's really nothing at all like Nate.

"Danse." Her voice was gentler this time, unmistakable affection bleeding through. "I would have to ask Shaun, of course, and I'd like to have an adjustment period before I do so that he can get comfortable with the idea on his own, but…" The young woman swallowed hard. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? Oh sure, she could handle the vulnerability of being naked and fucked with absolute abandon but this? This was where her brain drew the line? Unbelievable, Backhand grumbled at herself. "I think the odds are in your favor." She concluded with a grin.

"You...even though I'm not-?"

"He's probably the last person to care about that kinda' stuff, Danse. C'mon." Vega chided, running her fingers through his sweaty hair. "Now. We are...absolutely disgusting. We need a bath big time."

"I...you're right, of course." Danse agreed absently, still seeming shocked at the whole scenario. "I should...w-we should bathe. Er, at the same time. To save water." He didn't meet her eyes, his attention focused somewhere by her left shoulder.

Elizabeth laughed, bumping their foreheads together before carefully scooting up the bed. His cock slipped out of her and she couldn't help her sigh, the noise echoed by the paladin who tilted his chin to catch her with a kiss.

"You are amazing." He breathed when they parted, his smile small but sincere. "I'm...I'll be hard-pressed to keep my hands off you, Elizabeth."

"Why bother?" Vega asked, chuckling as he ducked back in for another kiss.

...

Hours later, Danse laid awake while Elizabeth slept peacefully on his chest. The paladin stared up at the ceiling, his mind running rampant.

The future.

He hadn't really dared to think about it since discovering his true identity. Hadn't felt like it was something he deserved. After all, if he was just a machine, it hardly mattered. But Elizabeth…

She thought it mattered. She wanted him. Wanted him to stay with her. Wanted him to act as a father. Pending Shaun's approval, of course.

It was surreal how much his life had changed, how far they had come in such a short amount of time. Danse was a little overwhelmed by it all, if he was being honest. Scared, yet hopeful at the same time. And, he thought as he wrapped his arm around Elizabeth, incredibly, immensely grateful.

This new world was unforgiving, the universe coldly testing the mettle of a man time and again. But Danse had finally come out the other side, and he liked to think he had changed for the better.

Whatever the future held, they would face it together.

Ad Victoriam, General Vega. Thank you for having faith in me.

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