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livelaughlovesubs · 6 months

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Yandere fyodor

Dom!Reader x sub!fyodor

Nini!rant: Pretty sfw tbh, the ask was Fyodor getting pinned down by reader. Him not being able to concentrate cuz he liked the view of us on top too much.

Thud, a loud noise echoed through the dimly lit room. A low groan following shortly after, “ugh-” it was painful, his head crashed against the floor so harshly. Before he could compose himself, he felt the control of his body slipping from him. Someone was holding his wrists above his head, preventing him from escaping. You were the one who restricted him, you, his love of his life.

Ah..what a magnificent view, your firm hands holding his delicate body down, the closeness of your two bodies causing him to feel your heat. Fyodor could feel a sudden blood rush course through his veins, eyes melting at the view of you hovering above him. One of your legs landed between his legs, causing him to shiver every so slightly. Bottom lips trembling in anticipation, eagerly awaiting your next movements. He was just so smitten with you. Your scent, the warmth radiating from you, the painful ache on his wrists… too good to be true. Finally you were reacting to his antics, he has been pursuing you forever~

Heavy panting as he furrowed his brows, body shaking slightly while he admired you. So hot, so cool, so sexy, so handsome, so pretty so- addicting oh he could write an entire book about you, and make it a series. It was so worth it to kill your enemies, this was heaven, a blessing from above. He wanted to be yours, he wanted you to own him and no one else. Oh god, out of all those people, you choose him. So now he belongs to you, you can't have anyone else but him, don't give your attention to anyone else, he is yours just as how you are his now. Take responsibility, take care of him you have to it's only fair!

Tausends of thoughts are pestering his brain, he was thinking about all the possible scenarios that could happen now. Just the sight of you on top was enough to make him hard, bottom lips trembling as his body shuddered. I love you, I love you, I love you so much, please, l'm yours, please, don't you see? I'm the only one who can make you happy, I can make you feel so good, please I love you, it's hurts so bad I want you, I need you, I'd do anything one chance one chance one chance oh please!'

Hectic and sanity breaking thoughts were filling his head, he wasn't by his right mind, there was no way he was. Everything you said falling on deaf ears, just watching your angry expression was getting him hot. He was so close, normally he only got to watch you from a distance but now you were touching him even. Oh please, please! To die at your hands, that sounds like a gift from the heavens. Please die for him, he wants to keep you with him forever. You claimed him, you took him and now you own him. It's all your fault that he is like this, it's your fault, yours only yours. If only you weren't so enticing, if only you didn't put a spell on him and his body. Just please let him be yours, acknowledge his love for you~!

"Fyodor, fyodor! Fuck, you aren't even listening. Get of your high horse, you disgusting rat. I have to beat some fucking manners into that brain of yours don't I?" You were so furious, why did he have to annoy you so much, getting on your nerves at every opportunity. The grip tightened unknowingly to you, all while grinding your teeth furiously. He got snapped out of his thoughts, but the gaze he wore soon returned to his previous revolting one, “Yes, please do… hit me all you want, I crave it.” Now you were the one who was shocked, taken aback by this sudden confession. “What?” This was rather a question you mumbled to yourself, but he answered you anyway, “i belong to you, you own me, it’s only fair that I’m obedient.” his voice was weirdly sweet, as if he was cooing at you, though it was by no means pleasant. Never would you have guessed that this was his intention from the very start, even if it was obvious. Because now that you think about it, it made sense, especially those fierce eyes he had, the way he looked at you with an emotion strong enough to make you have goosebumps. “You- you are sick.” You said, a wave of nausea hit you while you let go of him. This was sick, truly, it was off putting and any other synonyms you couldn’t think of right now. The man in front of you sit up, those violet pupils staring into yours with twisted desires hidden behind them. He used a gentle yet menacing tone as one line after another spilled from his lips, “Come on, didn’t you want to make me pay? Do whatever you wish, I am yours after all.”

#dom reader #sub fyodor #sub bungou stray dogs #sub bsd #sub character #sub!character #dom!reader #fyodor x you #fyodor dostoyevsky x reader #fyodor x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor x y/n #fyodor bsd #fyodor bungou stray dogs #sub yandere

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wileys-russo · 6 months

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Could you write for maya le tissier please halloween addition where trick or treaters come but maya has nothing for them but reader comes to the rescue

trick or treat II m.le-tissier

"is that yours going?" you glanced up from your textbook at your sister who was frowning at you from her place on the sofa. "no?" you shook your head at the ringing which filled the living room. "well it's not mine! didn't you just change the tone?" mary questioned.

"no? why would i do that?" you scoffed, dropping your gaze back to your textbook to study. "because your little girlfriend said it was the same tone as her alarm!" mary huffed, throwing a cushion in your direction, eyes narrowing as yours widened and you hurried to your feet.

"see! idiot." mary mumbled, attention falling back to her show as you sprinted into the kitchen where your phone was on charge. "i heard that! feel free to go back to your own home mary." you warned, your sister only using you for your prime account which you refused to give her the password to.

"alright alright! no need to be hasty with it." mary held up her hands in surrender. "hello?" you grabbed your phone on the last ring, clutching at your chest, not even having checked who was calling you.

"i need help!" you frowned hearing the panicked voice of your girlfriend. "why what happened? are you hurt? do i need to call an ambulance?" you asked, mary glancing over to you with a concerned frown.

"no! i'm being held hostage in my own home!" maya hissed quietly and you heard a thump. "what! hang on i'm calling the police." you put her on speaker and gestured for mary to hand you her phone.

"what? no i don't need the police! i'm being held hostage by angry children." maya huffed as you scrunched your face up in confusion, waving away an equally confused looking mary who offered you her phone.

"wait did you just go for a run or something? why are you panting? you sound like murphy." maya changed topic swiftly. "may focus! i need a bit of context to this hostage and children situation please." you sighed tiredly at her lack of explanation.

"oh! well obviously i forgot that it's halloween and all these kids keep turning up and i haven't gone shopping so i told them they could have an apple? and now they won't leave till i give em a chocolate or something!" maya rambled and your frown immediately switched to a grin as you bit your lip to stop laughing, covering up your half giggle with a cough.

"babe it's not funny! they won't leave and i heard one of them mention getting eggs." she whined in annoyance. "so you're telling me that you're allowing yourself to be bullied by children? because you offered them apples....on halloween." you repeated slowly, shit eating grin only growing as mary started to laugh loudly from the living room at your word.

"nah stop taking the piss this is serious! i don't want my house or my car egged!" she groaned in annoyance, and you heard a gasp and a few more thumps. "oh my god they're banging on the door again i think its a new group, they're creating alliances and forming a small army help me!" she again hissed as you shook your head.

"and how would you like me to do that my love? come and scare the big bad kiddies away for you?" you mocked sarcastically, pulling yourself up to sit on the counter. "woman i swear to god-" maya began to warn as you heard some movement and rustling.

"go to the shops and bring me some chocolate or something to give them as a peace offering!" she ordered with a huff. "may, baby its halloween there isn't a chance in hell i can get chocolate at....nine fourteen at night. they'll leave eventually i'm sure it's almost past their bedtime!" you teased, moving to rummage through your own cupboards.

"oh my god they threw an egg, babe they threw an egg at my window the little shits!" she scoffed with a gasp. "and you want to reward that with chocolate? call the police to disperse them if you're that worried." you laughed, finding what you were looking for and dropping it in your lap.

"no! i don't want to get the reputation as the cranky old woman who hates children and hates halloween or as the health nut who offers apples. god i would have egged my house too at their age!" she moaned in realization as you unwrapped a twirl, popping it into your mouth.

"are you seriously...did you just open a chocolate?" your girlfriend accused as you hummed happily. "mm, twirl." you answered with a mouthful as again she gasped.

"oh you dickhead! come bring me some fucking chocolate i know you've always got some i've seen the period drawer, hell i fill it up every month for you!" your girlfriend demanded and you couldn't argue that point, the brunette nothing but the biggest sweetheart when it was that time of the month.

"say please and maybe i'll consider it." you wound her up, hearing another thump which you assumed to be yet another egg hauled at the poor girls house, already moving off the counter to gather your supplies as you squished the phone between your shoulder and ear.

"please. but hurry!" she groaned and before you could say another word she'd abruptly hung up. "do i even want to know the details?" your sister grinned as you hung your bag over your shoulder and rolled your eyes with a shake of your head.

"i expect you out of my house by the time i get back." you warned, shoving her head and darting back as the older girl lunged for you. "please! like you'll be coming back." mary chuckled and stretched out more on your sofa, making herself comfortable.

"go home!" you warned again, smacking her in the face with the cushion she'd thrown at you earlier and heading for the door.

"i am half way through this season of real housewives i can't stop now! kicking your own flesh and blood out onto the cold dark sidewalk, you're a disgrace to the earps family name." mary yelled after you with a shake of her head.

"and you're a thirty year old mooching freeloader who won't cough up an extra twelve dollars a month for her own subscription, get out!" you laughed, closing the front door before you could hear her reply, already certain you'd return and she would just be passed out on the lounge as always.

under strict instruction from the brunette you'd parked in the street behind her house, letting yourself into her backyard through the back fence, armed with a bag full of lollies and a very amused smile.

you spotted your girlfriend sat on the floor behind her sofa, glancing over the top toward her front door and windows which she'd drawn the curtains over making you roll your eyes.

you knocked suddenly at the back door as you heard claws skidding over toward you and maya jumped about a foot in the air at the noise. though seeing it was only you she hurried to her feet, pushing murphy out of the way with her foot as she slid the door open and hastily pulled you inside.

"trick or treat!" you teased, handing her the bag and leaning in to kiss her only for her to duck around you. "were you seen? followed?" she questioned in a whisper as you rolled your eyes. "no! for god sakes may they're kids, they have to be about ten years old i drove past them." you laughed as she nodded and moved to the kitchen.

"okay, off you go!" she dumped the confectionery into a bowl and held it out to you expectantly. "no! this is your problem to fix baby, i only agreed to bring you supplies." you held your hands up and stepped back as she groaned and smacked the bowl back down on the counter.

"they'll eat me alive after i offered them apples, or they'll egg me. please!" she begged as you firmly shook your head. "and you'd rather they egg me? thanks a bunch." you scoffed.

"no! you're too gorgeous baby, they'll be so dazzled by englands star striker handing them some chocolate they'll take it and be on their merry way!" she smiled charmingly, which normally would work however tonight you held firm.

"rehearsed that little speech before i got here did you?" you sighed, sitting down on the arm of her lounge. "baby! please." she knocked your legs apart and stood between them, the taller girl pouting adorably.

"no! may the more time you spend whining to me the more eggs they're gathering to throw." you smiled making her throw her head back with a groan. "but they haven't met you, and like i said you're just so gorgeous, and kind, and sweet, and funny." tucking her head into your neck you felt her lips start to kiss a trail down the column of your throat with each compliment she threw your way.

"and i'll make it worth your while love, scouts honour." she switched tactics, pushing you back onto the lounge and smiling down at you suggestively.

"you weren't a scout." you teased with a wink as she smacked your leg playfully. "i still know my way around a rope and some knots baby, happy to show you later if you do this teeny little favor for me." she smirked which did have some affect on you as your cheeks flushed bright red.

"no! just go and get it over it." you declined again, pushing her away with your foot as she moaned dramatically, stomping over and grabbing the bowl with a huff. "will you at least come with me?" she requested to which you nodded and hauled yourself up.

"go on." you nudged her in the back as she hesitated by the door, sighing and yanking it open. "peace offering. you all stop the eggs, i'll make sure i have chocolate next year!" she called out to the small group of children huddled on her lawn.

"correction you all clean up the eggs and then you get the chocolate, and we don't find out who you all are and call your parents about this vandalism." you stepped out and warned more sternly, a few of the older ones sharing a look.

ducking back inside you grabbed some paper towel and multipurpose spray, tossing them onto the grass and fixing those who hadn't run off with a hard look as they hurried to start wiping down your girlfriend's windows.

with that maya left the bowl on her door step, gently pushing you inside and closing the door, making a point to dead lock it after her. "you're gonna be a top mum one day babe." the taller girl grinned, hands moving to grab your hips as you hummed, returning her smile.

"you're welcome baby. now what was that you said about making it worth my while?"

#maya le tissier x reader #woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #maya le tissier #woso imagine #woso blurbs #engwnt

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margotw10bis · 5 months

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Crashing On Crush. JJK 3 [m]

crush!Jungkook x reader

Genre: smut; series; romance; angst

Words: 4.4k

Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?

Warnings: sexual tension; alcohol consumption; make out in public; oral sex (f. receiving); handjob

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God must have heard your silenced prayers because a cup of coffee is floating in front of your face. You look up and meet Namjoon's soft brown eyes. You take the life-saving beverage and appreciate the delicious taste.

"Oh God, you don't know how much I needed it! Thank you Namjoon"

"No offense but you did look like you needed it" he jokes

You sigh, knowing that he's probably right. It's been eight days since you and Jungkook kissed. Eight fucking days and you haven't heard from him. No text, no call. Nothing. If work - which is so interesting and gratifying - keeps your mind busy at day, alone in your apartment at night you have no distraction. You just think over and over again, replaying the night in your head to spot what you've missed and could explain why he hasn't contacted you. So, yeah, you haven't slept very well the past week.

"Uhm, Y/N" Namjoon seems embarrassed, he clears his throat to pull himself together. "I was thinking, uhm, if you are free tonight, we could have dinner"

His red cheeks are so cute, your heart melts. Namjoon has been nothing but kind and sweet towards you. And it's not the first time you think 'I wish he were my crush, so I wouldn't be stressed about radio-silence Jungkook'. But you know damn well that your mind and your heart are full of a man with lip piercing and tattooed arm... However, you can't wait forever for Jungkook to pay attention to you - or can you?

This dinner will be a great opportunity to think about something else and to get to know Namjoon better.

"Sure!"

The blond man sighs in relief, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Great, uhm, let's meet after your shift at the entrance door"

You nod and watch him leave, not without almost hitting a large plant pot which makes you laugh. Cute.

At seven pm, you exit the gallery to wait for Namjoon in front of the building. However, you certainly didn't think you would meet this person. You halt your movement by astonishment. Jungkook is here. Right in front of you. And you have mixed feelings about that. Obviously, you are very happy to see him because, in fact, you missed him. But you are also angry with him for being quiet during a whole week... You have no idea what he is doing here. Well, you know he is probably here to talk to you but to say what? That he doesn't want to see you again? That he wants to kiss you again? So you stay silent, waiting for him to speak. And he does:

"Hi, Y/N"

"Hi"

You wait but he doesn't say anything.

"What are you doing here?" You ask after few seconds of unbearable stillness that is the exact opposite of your harsh heartbeats.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner"

What the fuck? You can't help a disdained laugh. You have been waiting eight fucking days and he just shows up at your work like nothing happened! You are so mad right now but why does you heart soften at the thought he wants to spend some time with you?

"I already have something set up for tonight" Your voice is harsher than you want and you kind of feel bad when you see the disappointment in Jungkook's eyes.

He bits his bottom lip and this simple act reminds you of how good his lips feels... You shake your head to not think about it.

"I wanted to call you but I didn't have time" Jungkook says lowly

"Yeah, sure" You reply, annoyed

"Actually, I spent the week at my parents for my grandpa's funeral" His voice is not filled with reproach but with a will of explanation.

You gaps and immediately feel horrible to have treated him so coldly. Your eyes soften and you put a hand on his shoulder to confort him.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jungkook, I didn't know. Are you okay?"

"He has been sick for a while so we were prepared, but it was hard for my mum. I'm sorry, I should have at least sent you a text"

You can see in his doe eyes and hear in his voice the guilt. You shake your head.

"No, you don't have to apologize, I totally understand. You needed to focus on your family. Please don't feel bad"

You want to hug him so bad when you see the sadness on his face. You don't really know what to say or what to do to erase his pain but when Jungkook looks into your eyes, he knows how you wish to console him and his heavy heart feels lighter. So many words are running through his mind, so many things he would like to say to you. Like the fact that he has been thinking about you the past few days, that he has wished you were there with him to hug him, that he has been fucking missing you each fucking minute.

You open your mouth to say something but you are cut off by Namjoon joining you.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks you cheerfully

You are aware of the sudden tension between the two men. Jungkook's jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. 'Him again', he thinks. He wonders if the guy is now your boyfriend, if he has kissed you while he was gone, which makes him regret even more to not have contacted you. Now he is pissed off because at first, he thought that you having plans was a lie to not see him but it's way worse that you actually have plans. With another man. A man you have seen all week.

"I-Namjoon and I are going to eat" you start, embarrassed, blushing hard before turning towards your colleague "if it's okay with you, Jungkook could join us?" You try

Well, that was not what Namjoon had in mind. But what could he say now? No? He cannot refuse so he swallows the sword in his throat and he answers a not-so-conceiving 'sure'. And the three of you head to the Korean barbecue restaurant.

———

Saying that there is tension in the air is an understatement. The meat grilling is quite the only sound coming from your table. Seeing the two men side by side, you realize they couldn't be more different. Namjoon, wearing a white shirt and light grey slacks, is a very sweet boy, and very cute with his dimples. His glasses makes him look smarter - even though he is the smartest person you've ever met - and professional. Definitely the type every parents would love to have as son-in-law. On the other hand, Jungkook is the opposite, the perfect example of what a 'bad boy look' is. He is not a bad boy in fact because you can see the kindness in his so pretty eyes but he is surely intimidating. He always wears dark and baggy cloths. His piercing and his tattoos enhance his B boy vibes, but they also make him so fucking hot.

Jungkook and Namjoon haven't talked and you feel ill at ease, waddling on your seat. You clear your throat to save the night:

"Let's cheer"

You smile and pull up your glass in the most cheerful way possible, hoping that it will give rise to a better mood. But it doesn't. The two men click their glass but they still don't speak. You sigh in disappointment...

"So, Jungkook, right?" Finally says Namjoon "What do you do for living?"

You send a grateful gaze at your colleague.

"I'm a graphic designer" Jungkook answers politely but a little bit coldly, not sharing any more details. "What about you? What do you do exactly?"

"I'm the owner's assistant. I help him to supervise everything: the exhibitions, the contacts with the artists, the communication, the staff. I'm also in charge of training new recruits, that's why I've spent a lot of time with Y/N these days"

Jungkook grins, he knows damn well that this Namjoon guy wanted to snap at him. He sips on his beer, fantasying how satisfying it would be to kiss you again, like the last time, in front of Namjoon. He really has to behave to not put his hand on your thigh. It's even harder when you are so pretty in your pink a-line dress with small puff sleeves.

"Hey, Y/N, we could have a last drink at Danbam, what do you think?" Jungkook asks suddenly

You choke on your spit, blushing hard. Last time you were in this bar was for your make-out session with Jungkook. And the little sparkle of cockiness in his eyes proves you he meant to tease.

"I, uhm, I don't think I want to drink more than this tonight" you say cautiously

Namjoon grabs his chopsticks to gather some beef and puts it on your plate. The kind gesture makes you smile. At the same time, it makes Jungkook even more irritated. Yet, luck is on his side because a couple of minutes later, Namjoon receives a call: his boss requires him immediately. He wanted to spend time with you, get to know you because since your first day, he has found you so sweet and beautiful and smart and passionate. Since your first day, he has had a crush on you that only kept growing day by day. With a huge regret, he tells you goodbye and leaves you with Jungkook.

"So, do you go out with him a lot?"

Jungkook couldn't help but asking you. He feels so jealous, he doesn't even recognize himself. What are you doing to him?

"No, actually it was the first time"

"Good"

You turn your head to Jungkook with an abrupt movement. Your mouth is opened by surprise, questioning him silently about the meaning.

"I want to kiss you again" Jungkook says simply

His words provoke a whole ardent fire in your body. You want it too. So fucking much. You miss his lips, his hands on you. You miss feeling him on your skin - kissing him one time isn't enough. You want to do it again. You want more.

"Do it" you manage to whisper

It's enough for Jungkook to blend your lips together. The kiss is stronger, rawer than the last one. He is hungry and maybe a little angry. When the little moans he loves so much return to life, he smirks. He wants to kiss you like Namjoon nor any other men can. And he does. There is no word to describe how much you love his mouth. You wish the moment could last forever, you never want to be lips apart. But humans are not perfect and they do need to breath so you distance your face just enough to catch your breathe.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Jungkook asks

You know it's not just a ride home. It's an implicit question: do you want more? Fuck yeah.

You nod and Jungkook smiles. He looks happy and relieved. He leaves a soft kiss on your inflamed lips and grabs your hand.

———

You mostly stay silent in the car. It's not a weird or uncomfortable silence but just a calm silence, full of promise for what will happen next. You can't deny that your heart beats loudly and your hands are a little shaky. Jungkook remarks and intertwines yours fingers, saying with no words that everything is fine and you don't have to be stressed. But how can you not when you will spend the night with your crush? Your - two now - kisses proved you that you have feelings for him. Strong feelings.

After you opened your door and took off your shoes, Jungkook and you stay, once again, in silence. You are looking everywhere except at him, feeling so nervous. It has been more than one year since you last had sex, and all the times you had before were with your boyfriends. However, Jungkook is not your boyfriend, your relationship is... undetermined. You also wonder if he finds you attractive enough, and if you will be good enough in bed. All these thoughts make your hands sweaty.

But Jungkook gets closer and cups your red cheeks with his big and warm hands, making you look into his black doe eyes. They are so soft, so shiny - just like the billions of stars in the sky at night. They are so beautiful. Everything in Jungkook is beautiful.

"Hey, we don't have to do anything" he says gently "We can have sex, or not. We can do other things than having sex. Or we can just talk. Don't pressure yourself"

Your heart melts at his consideration. He is so nice, so sweet that you are falling in lo... No! No, it's too soon, you don't know much about him even after hours spent on his Instagram. It's just your arousal speaking, it messes up with your brain.

You take the time to look at Jungkook and you can't help but imagining what's underneath his black bomber jacket. You remember this one pic from Instagram of him at the beach, shirtless. His 'I know I make your panties wet' look has never been more accurate. Even right now, you are feeling horny.

He leans down and kisses you. At first, gently but the kiss is getting rougher. You instantly feel your pussy clench and moan at its emptiness. Your hands running through Jungkook's hair pull him closer and invite him to kiss you deeper if it's even possible. His own hands move all over your body: your hair, your neck, your back, your waist and your ass. He squeezes the latter and a small groan from you tells him you love it. Actually, you love every single of his touch on your body.

Your hands are struggling to take off his jacket but manage to do it. You want to feel closer, better. Without this barrier, you can appreciate his hard muscles. Gosh, it feels so good under your fingertips.

Jungkook leads you to your couch and puts you on his lap without breaking the kiss for a second. You are completely high on his touch, you can't think straight - not that you really care. Between your legs, you can feel his hard cock pressing on your covered and wet pussy. A moan of pure delight escapes your mouth and you press down to enhance the touch. You slowly begin to move your hips back and forth to release some of the urge of friction. Jungkook grabs your ass to control your move and you love it. You love how he uses your body to please himself.

But it's not enough. You need to feel his skin. You don't know if you said it or if Jungkook can read in your mind but he halts the kiss for just a couple of seconds in order to take off your dress. His intense eyes discover your matching white bra and panties, so pure, so innocent. It makes him crazy because the horniness visible on your face is far from innocent. He leans down and places his head between your boobs, kissing your skin. Your body is on fire. Your head rolls back - which makes your moans huskier - and you pull on his black hair by pleasure and he smirks.

You are so hot, so beautiful, he doesn't want any other men to touch you. He wants to mark you to make you his but he also knows that a huge hickey on your neck will not be great for your career. So he decides to put his mark somewhere only him can see. You feel his mouth sucking on the skin of your left breast, close to your heart. It hurts a little but it's a delightful hurt. Jungkook takes the time to admire his art piece - he has never created something so beautiful. The red, purplish mark is shiny because of his saliva and it looks so good on your soft skin.

"You're so fucking hot" he says with a raspy and so sexy voice

He suddenly changes position to lie you down underneath him and kisses you again. You take the hem of his black and large t-shirt to indicate you want it to disappear. One second later your wish is fulfilled. What a beautiful view. His chest is buff, his abs are well drawn, his arms are strong and his shoulders are large. Your hands brush his warm skin and you feel his muscles flexing under your touch. His body is so perfect. You'll never be bored of looking at it.

However, your eyes spontaneously shut when Jungkook's hand reaches your groin. His fingers find your clit in a second and start circle it through your panties.

"Oh my god!" You moan in his neck

It's so good. So fucking good. It's like you've never have been touched before. Your moans are louder as his fingers get faster. At this point, your panties are soaked by your juices - it could be kind of an unpleasant sensation if you could think.

"You're so wet" Jungkook teases you while he kisses your neck

You are feeling your orgasm slowly building up in you but the emptiness in your pussy is torture. You need something to fix that.

"Please"

It's the only thing you manage to say with a choked voice.

"Please what?" Jungkook smirks

He knows damn well that you can't concentrate enough to speak properly and he is filled with pride that the reason is himself. Seeing how you are going crazy under his touch is so fucking satisfying. The most important, the only mission in his life right now is to make you cum. He leaves your neck to kiss your body all the way down until he reaches your wet pussy.

"I think we should take this off" he says while trapping the fabric of your panties with his forefinger

He looks up at you to have your approval.

"Yes, please" you moan, looking away with embarrassment of Jungkook being so close to your intimacy.

What you don't know is that your shaky 'please' turned him on so fucking bad. He loves having control during sex, even being a little dominant. Fulfilling his desires without even knowing it makes him want to please you even more. So he slides your soaked panties down your legs and opens your thighs. The sight is breathtaking: your cunt is glistening with your arousal. He wants to taste you, you make him hungry. He gently rubs two fingers from your clit to your entrance before diving onto your pussy with his mouth.

He gives a single kiss on your clit at first and the feeling is so fucking good that you immediately grab his hair in a desperate need of holding on to something to not sink into this unbearable pleasure. Your fingers in his black strands give him the green light to go further. His tongue is now completely attached to your pussy. He is literally making out with it. He is so good with his mouth. Your clit is taken care of like it deserves. His tongue rolls around your bud, then takes a quick strip from your entrance to your clit and rolls again. It's a perfect pattern and it makes you go crazy. The wetness created by his saliva and your own arousal is full of sins and pleasures.

"Oh my god, Jungkook!"

You feel your orgasm coming and your fist clenches as much as your pussy. Jungkook notices it and enters your pussy with his finger. This friction in your body is exactly what you needed. He pulls in and out at a pleasant pace with his digit. Your brain is foggy, you don't even know where you are, you don't even hear your own moans. All you can feel is him.

"More, more!" Is all you can say

He adds another finger, sightly speeding up the back-and-forth's pace, his tongue still playing with your clit.

"You taste so fucking good, I could eat you all day"

His words reasoning on your pussy is too much to bare and you cum on his face and on his two fingers in you, screaming his name. The best fucking orgasm of your life. Your legs quiver when you reach your climax. But what did you expect from Jungkook? He was your best kiss, it's only natural for him to make you cum like nobody had done it before.

It takes you a few seconds to catch your breathe and to settle down back on Earth. Your cheeks, even red before, are blushing harder when you realize that you just let your crush eating you out. It takes you a lot of courage to look down to meet Jungkook's face between your legs. You see his mouth and chin glistening with your juice. The view is sinful. But he defies even more the limits of hotness allowed when he puts his fingers into his mouth to taste more of your cum. You gasp at the indecent teasing.

Jungkook goes up to your face and kisses you. You taste yourself on his mouth and you have to say that it's hot.

"Are you okay?" He asks you gently

His consideration is a dangerous weapon for your heart. Fortunately, you're still too much in the frog of pleasure to overthink it.

"Yes. It-It was really good" you whisper, blushing.

Jungkook's pride is beyond clouds when he saw how strong was your orgasm because of him. He wants to be the one that makes you cum the most, the only one that makes you cum. Because you are so pretty, so hot when you reach your high, he wants to be the only one who witnesses it. He wants to fuck you so hard that you won't ever be attracted to another man. His possessiveness is killing him. You are messing with his brain and you don't even know it. You are crushing down all his boundaries.

"I, uhm, I want to please you too" you say shyly

Jungkook is amused by your shyness when he just made you cum. But he is also touched that you care about his pleasure. He can't deny that his cock is really hard and that he would love to release the tension in his body. But he doesn't want you to feel obligated to return the favor. He didn't touch you to have something in return, he did it because he wanted to see your cute face torn in pleasure, a pleasure provided by him.

"You don't have to, Y/N" he says with a small peck on your lips

He helps you sit correctly on your couch, and the leaking between your legs make you wince. But not as much as his answer. Doesn't he want you to touch him? Does he think you won't please him? You feel a dragger in your heart, and maybe in your pride also. Jungkook frowns when he notices your expression darkens.

"It's not that I don't want to" he feels the need to tell you "Because, believe me, I want to. You make me fucking hard. But you don't have to, you don't have to feel obligated"

He cups your cheeks and you see the sincerity in his eyes. Rather than pushing you off, it makes you want to please him stronger.

"I want to" you simply say

The determination in your voice startles him a little bit because a new wave of arousal rushes through him.

"Okay" is the only thing he finds to say

You put your delicate hand on his stretched crotch, feeling him hard and big through the fabric of his pants. You can't deny that it makes you horny. Jungkook's body tenses, watching carefully your movements to detect any sign of displeasure and stop you in this case. But he only sees the way you blush and bit your bottom lip. So fucking cute, he thinks. He waits for you to express by your actions your want to get rid of his pants. He doesn't want to rush you and let you be in control of the pace, even if it's like a torture for him: he has been hard for a long time now.

When you grab the hem of this pants, he gets the message and rises his hips to slide down his piece of clothing. The bulge of his black underwear shocks you a little bit: he is fucking big. Your reaction makes him cocky, he knows he's big - a lot of women already told him that - but now he wants you to think that. He wants you to think about how his cock would fill your tight pussy. The thought of it makes his hard member twitch.

You push down the hem of his underwear to free his length. Your mouth waters at the sight of the perfect, velvety skin. He is hard, and thick. You wonder how would feel the stretch if he were in your pussy. You gently caresse his tip with your thumb and a drop of pre-cum escapes. You spread it on the tip, which makes it shiny and appetizing. You start jerking him off and a sigh of delight comes from Jungkook's mouth.

"You're doing great, babe"

The pet name makes your pussy clench and your heart beat faster. You also feel proud and more confident so you increase the speed, putting the right pressure. Jungkook's breathing gets more and more rugged, you can tell that he likes it. He grabs firmly - but not too harshly to not hurt you - your hair and pull you closer. He kisses you ruthlessly, his tongue meets yours. You moan at his sudden ardent desire. And this is what he wanted: hearing your sweet whimpers while you jerking him off. Your hand on his cock and your mouth on his lips are a dangerous combination for his sanity.

"You're perfect, so fucking perfect" he says against your pretty mouth "Keep going, you gonna make me cum, babe"

Babe.

Once again, it fills you with indescribable sensations - physical sensations and other sensations that you push away to not overthink. You keep sliding up and down your hand on Jungkook's fat cock, your arm is beginning to hurt but you don't stop. Making him feel good is so fucking satisfying. You being the reason of the orgasm of such an attractive, hot, handsome man messes up your bain - and your wet pussy.

"I'm cumming" Jungkook says in a gasp

After a few more strokes, you feel a hot and thick liquid on your hand. Jungkook relaxes his grip in your hair and kisses your temple, with a shortness of breath. Then, he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, to recover a regular breathing.

"It was perfect" he says with a soft smile.

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#bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts #jjk smut #smut #jungkook #jjk #jeon jungkook

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ruskaroma · 9 months

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omg omg (i really need professional help) i had this Vision of dark+DARK+mean!john wick learning about an asshole who bullied their bunny-really-the-nicest-human-being!reader back during her school years (the reader cluelessly mentions it during conversation). john is not just angry outraged etc, he is The Rage, The War, The Biblical Day of Wrath, so he finds that guy, beats/tortures the living shit out of him and then brings his absolutely clueless little pretty bunny so that she could finish him. john is behind the reader, his arms wrapped around her arms, his hands on her shaking hands holding a gun pointing at the barely breathing man tied to a chair. the reader is crying begging to stop, and john goes "he deserves it, honey <3. now, right kneecap. go, princess, don't let me down".

Oh my god I have something for you.

Let’s give it a very dark twist, shall we? We’ll stick to this concept, but let’s make it even darker.

TW: mentions of past sexual and physical abuse, blood and gore, graphic depiction of torture, john being a very very mean man like he is fucked in the head may god bless his soul, john is also forcefully making the reader kill the man so there’s that.

It was a slip of your tongue. You didn’t notice it, but John surely did. You were used to rambling your thoughts away, a habbit that John adores so much, hearing your voice and telling him everything that’s in your head, because it means you’re not keeping any secrets from him.

A supposed to be peaceful Saturday night ruined John’s whole week, but he didn’t let it show. He kept himself composed around you, smiling so softly when you’d share a random fact about the things you’re holding or whatever comes in mind. He’s a master in the arts of keeping his expression controlled despite his emotions practically clawing their way out of his fucking lungs.

Your head was on his lap as he brushed your hair with his long fingers softly. For a hand that’s killed too many people to count, it’s surprisingly merciful around you. A shitty horror movie was playing on the TV but your attention quickly diverted to somewhere else when you watched a rather familiar scene in the film.

“Oh, man, that sucks. I know how it feels, I used to get hit by my ex-boyfriend all the time.”

What the fuck, John thought. His fingers stopped their movements as he furrowed his eyebrows. You said it as a whisper too but he heard it. He heard it fucking clearly.

“What?”

“Huh?” You moved your head to look up to him. “You said something?”

“You did,” John pointed out. “About your ex-boyfriend. What did you say?”

“Ohhh,” you said in realization, but your tone was calm. Like it was the most fucking normal thing to say in a conversation. “Yeah, he was mean. He used to hit me every time I made a very small mistake, but he said sorry when we broke up.”

John didn’t know what to say. He was frozen, trying to comprehend the words that were being thrown at him all at once.

His baby – the love of his life, someone who cannot even hurt a fucking ant – just dropped a bomb that she was a victim of abuse.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” John tried to keep his voice leveled, soft, as he placed a large hand on your cheek and pulled you up so he could take a good look at your face.

“Well, you didn’t ask. And it’s not like it mattered anymore. I went to therapy and everything was back to normal.”

“No, that’s not –” he closed his eyes in frustration, trying so hard to keep his shit together. “Did he do anything else? Where is he now?”

“He’s–he’s doing fine. I don’t know where he is, it’s been awhile since we’ve gotten in touch.”

John could hear the tremble in your voice, like you knew what was going to come, like you knew what he’s going to do.

He didn’t answer after you said that. He looked away from you, put his attention back to the television.

You shrugged it off, hoping he would let it go.

He did not, in fact, let it go.

You came home one day after work to see him being rather... cheery than usual. It was unusual in itself. John being particularly cheery was not something you see in your everyday life.

He had already cooked dinner when you arrived, ate it beside you with an arm around your shoulders. He was also crooning at your ears, asking about your day if something special happened.

“I have a surprise for you.”

Your eyebrows flew up, curious yet amused. Is this why he was cheery all of a sudden?

He led you to his basement – a place where you’re never allowed to go, always bolted shut and completely restricted to you. You were getting a pretty bad feeling about this.

“What–what are we doing here, John?”

Again, he didn’t answer. You could see the grim, dark expression on his face as he opened the door. The face you only ever see when he was just coming back from a long, tiring day at work. The face you only see you know he just slaughtered someone.

Turns out, he did.

Not exactly slaughtered, but close enough.

The man who made you go through hell for years, tied up in a chair in the middle of the room, missing all his fingers on both his feet and hands.

“John, what the–”

Your boyfriend pushed a heavy pistol in your hand, and your heart is beating so hard inside your chest you couldn’t speak properly. You haven’t yet got the time to comprehend what was happening. It was all too fast.

“Pull it.”

“J-John, please don’t–”

“Pull it,” John repeated. He didn’t like repeating himself. You know this. He was standing behind you, his chest pressing against your back, warm and broad and his voice sounded so menice and fucking evil and– “Pull it, baby, before I do it myself.”

“Why are you–” your voice was shaking as well as your hands. You wanted to drop the weapon but you knew it wouldn’t do you any good, not when John was just behind you. “Why are you doing this, John? Please let him–let him go, it was a long time ago–”

“I don’t care,” he said simply, one large hand sneaking down to grab your wrist that’s holding the gun, pointing it directly at the man who’s – Jesus, was he still alive? You saw him move, he flinched, then let out a cough that made more blood from his mouth drip onto his lap. “I haven’t killed him yet because that’s your job.”

“N-No–” tears were forming into your eyes. The feeling of John’s hand gripping yours was already too much to bear, much worse pointing it to the man who abused and neglected you during your relationship, but why were you feeling bad? “John, I–I don’t w-want to, John, please, I don’t want–”

John sighed, disappointed, but he didn’t let you go. Instead, he leaned down closer to your ear and pressed a soft kiss there. His beard tickled, making you flinch and let out a shaky breath as you gulped hard.

“John, he–I know you’re doing this because you think it’s best, but I–I promise you that it’s not worth it–it’s in the past and, and–”

“Excuses, excuses,” John whispered, standing straight and taking a step away from you, positioning himself in front of the gun. “Here you are, begging for the life of the man who abused you in the past. Don’t you think that sounds absolutely ridiculous, baby?”

“It’s not–it’s not ridiculous, John, I promised! We–we talked one time after our breakup and he–he apologized for everything, I swear–I swear, John, it was all in the past–”

John cut off your rambling with an evil stare, and it was so unlike him that it scared you right to the very core. “Pull the trigger or I will. I’ll put a fucking hole in his head, saw it off and send it to his little wife and children back in Vegas.”

“John–” you sobbed. “John, please–”

“Did you know that I made him confess every diabolical shit that he’d done to you every time I chop off one of his fingers?” John said it in such a calm and steady tone that it made you only afraid of him even more. “I chopped all his fingers, and he still won’t stop confessing more. Can you believe that?”

“I already forgave him–I already forgave him, John, this wasn’t necessary–”

“It won’t be the same if I’m the one who pulls the trigger now, would it? It wouldn’t be fair, because I’m not the one who suffered under his hands,” John pushed even further, walking back to his original position behind you, gripping your arm and pointing the pistol directly at his head. “If you don’t pull that fucking trigger in the next five second, I’ll let you use a chainsaw to do it and trust me when I say you wouldn’t want it messy.”

You gulped, feeling yourself grow more and more afraid as John stood behind you. He was radiating anger, but he was keeping it at bay, though his swear words might be some of the leakage of his emotions he couldn’t contain any longer.

“I don’t want–don’t make me d-do this, John–”

“One...”

“John, please–”

“Two....” His voice was scary. Deep and level, and the grip on your arm tightened. You felt suffocated.

“I’m gonna throw u-up if I–”

“Three...” He was getting agitated.

The man’s head rose up from his position earlier to meet your eyes, and you swore you felt your stomach churn. His eyes were fucking gone.

The man opened his mouth to speak and a weak voice came. “D-Don’t–”

You pulled the trigger.

“There’s my little bunny.”

You dropped the gun as soon as his brains flew against your face and onto the wall, painting it red. You couldn’t bear to watch any further. You turned with a sob and buried your face in John’s chest, crying hysterically as he soothed you calmly by petting your head.

“Good girl. You did so fucking good, I’m so proud of you.”

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bitterpotionn · 7 months

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Johnny Slaughter Headcanons - Daddy's Girl

I had to get this out there. It's gonna be longer than my usual headcanons because I have a lot of opinions on this topic. I will most likely expand on this dynamic in the future and maybe create a full-length fic about it. Johnny as a daddy does something to me...

Warnings: Johnny isn't a great father, unhealthy dynamics, implied daddy issues

Due to Johnny being Johnny, you most likely got pregnant under not ideal circumstances. Johnny wouldn't intentionally cause a pregnancy if you two were casually dating, but as we all know; You can't just casually date Johnny for long. Soon, you'll be under his control entirely.

Getting you pregnant is purely a control tactic for Johnny. It keeps you grounded with him. You can't just leave with his baby, no you're staying with him for good now.

Johnny likes the idea of pregnancy more than the actual process. I don't think Johnny is all too fond of children anyway. He likes seeing you big and helpless. You would rely on him for everything and that would make him ecstatic.

During the bulk of your pregnancy he would keep you away from most of the family. He doesn't like you around them normally. So if you're carrying his child, you're off limits to them entirely. Except for Nancy of course.

Nancy is excited, to say the least. She always wanted grandbabies and is happy that Johnny is finally stepping up and "settling down" (as much as he can after all). She would be almost overbearing in her involvement. From sewing your maternity clothes to helping you set up a small nursery in the camper Johnny and you shared. She would constantly be nagging Johnny about how he needs to get a real home for his family, criticizing him for letting you stay couped up in that small camper.

Johnny would appreciate the help from Nancy. Because he's still a busy man and he can't babysit you all day.

We all know that Johnny is scummy, and this won't change just because you're pregnant. He might be a little more lenient with you but his behavior will be relatively the same. He'd still have his violent outbursts. Cursing you and the "damn kid" in your stomach for being a pain in his ass and too much trouble.

Johnny would feel extra guilty after chewing you out though, his angry eyes would snap to your swollen stomach and his heart felt like it was getting squeezed. He would mutter a pathetic apology hours later when you're half asleep and laying in bed, his strong hands resting firmly on your stomach.

You better be careful to regulate your pregnancy-related mood swings because Johnny doesn't tolerate disrespect from you. He will put up with the food cravings and the neediness but not the disrespect. He's not above locking you in the camper for a day or two by yourself to "learn your lesson."

You were sitting at the small table in the camper. Pregnancy magazines and catalogs were scattered around you. You spent most of your time flipping through these catalogs and reading the books Nancy provided for you. You were eager to learn and absorb as much information as you could, after all, you were going to be handling this mostly alone.

You heard some movement outside, loud footsteps approaching the camper. Without much warning, the creaky door of the camper opened, revealing Johnny. He'd been gone most of the day, doing god knows what. You stopped asking questions a long time ago. His eyes shifted over to you then the magazines and books strewn out on the table. He sauntered over and picked one up, "The Complete Book of Pregnancy." His eyes scanned over the cover.

"Looks interestin'" he teased, flashing her a sarcastic smirk. She pouted and laid her hands on her swollen stomach. "Well I gotta be prepared don't I? Nancy gave me some books from the library to read up on" she explained, trying to shuffle the loose magazines and books in a neat pile. He set the book down and leaned down, both of his hands held her stomach as he gave it a kiss. "She will be fine. She's gonna be strong like her daddy," he said referring to the baby. You noted how he already gendered the baby, despite neither of them knowing yet.

He stood up straight and stretched out his arms. "Why don't we go on a walk, mama said it's important for you to get your exercise." he didn't give her much time to respond as he grabbed her hand, helping you up from your seated position. You let out a small groan as she looked up at him. "Johnny, I dunno, my legs hurt and I don't want-" He shot her a look. You knew that look. It was a warning look. You quickly stopped speaking and just nodded. "Okay," you gave him a weak smile. "That's what I thought," he said as he led you outside.

Johnny is a girl-dad. No arguments, no if and or butts about it. He's a girl-dad. It's canon (I've decided). "Boys are trouble" he would say, shaking his head with a disapproving look. He "knew how boys were" he would explain to you. However, you knew that wasn't true. He knew how he was. The terrible things he did to women.

Overprotective as shit. We all know those stereotypical "no dating until you're in your 50's" dads. Well, he'd be one of them.

While he wouldn't be too active in her life, he would try. His temper would get the better of him a lot of the time and I think she'd grow to kind of resent him. He wouldn't know what to do with her, sometimes he felt a disconnect because, after all, she was just an extension of him. His property. His baby. He would find it hard to consider her, her own individual person this would only worsen as she grew up.

When she's younger he would dote on her and keep her close. Going on walks with her and showing her how to do small things around the farm. "She has to pull her weight around here."

Most of the time though, you'd be the one solely taking care of her. He wouldn't be around for most of her firsts.

I think Johnny would be in for a big slap in the face as she turned into an adult. Especially when she's a late teenager/early 20s. He could see how young and full of life she was. It would make him think back to all the women he has brutally killed who were around her age too. It would make him sick, he could barely look at her sometimes. The thought of someone doing that to her made him furious.

They would definitely butt heads as she grew as well. Constant arguments and disagreements on how she chose to do things or live her life. She would also grow to see the effects of his abuse on you and it would make her furious. She would be confrontational and wouldn't take his shit. She most likely would leave as soon as she could, only keeping in contact with you.

Johnny would regret how things went with her. He'd miss her and wish she talked to him more. He isn't blind, he knew why she shut him out and part of him didn't blame her for doing so.

"Look at my perfect girl" he cooed as he held her. About a year passed since you had your home birth. She was a healthy baby and full of energy. Nancy and the family always told you she looked like you. But you thought she looked a lot like Johnny. She had the same thick brown hair and same dark piercing eyes.

You and Johnny made it a habit to take her on walks in the sunflower fields, letting her small hands play with the bright yellow petals. Johnny swayed back in forth as he watched her carefully pick the petals off one by one. You stood beside him, admiring how calm he looked, how content. You knew it was just temporary, his good moods always were.

She started to fuss a bit as she ran out of petals to pick. She flapped her hands around trying to signal Johnny to move on to the next flower. He let out a small chuckle as he shuffled to the side, letting her reach another.

The property was getting dark as the two of you walked back to the camper, she was fast asleep by now, laying her head on Johnny's chest as she slept soundly. Her little hands gripped some of his shirt. He was quiet as the two of you walked. His face was stoic and expressionless like he was thinking about something. The two of you silently entered. He laid her down in her make-shift crib (courtesy of Nancy).

You watched as he just stared at her for a bit, his eyebrows furrowed. He let out a small sigh as he leaned back, his eyes flicking over to you. "Why don't you head to bed, I'm goin' out" You gave him a puzzled look as your eyes shifted to the analog clock on the wall, 8:30pm. "It's late, Johnny." your voice was meek.

"I know, I don't wanna be couped up in here all night" he snapped shooting a glare at you. You just stared at him his outburst didn't surprise you, after all you were used to them by now. You theorized that after a while, Johnny would get tired of how domestic everything was. Like he needed to do something, anything to fuck it up. You knew what he was going to do when he left. He was a creature of habit at the end of the day.

He leaned down one more time and gave his baby a kiss on the forehead, running his large hand over her small amount of hair. He stood up fully and glared back down at you. Sometimes you felt like he was angry at you, for tying him down like this (despite the fact that it was his doing). You, you were expendable, replaceable. But she wasn't. That was his baby, his flesh and blood and at the end of the day, he was always tied to her in some way. He thought getting you pregnant would make you tied down but as it turns out; it tied him right down with you.

He could go out and do the things he was used to. Inflict pain and torture whoever he wanted to. Yet, every time he came home he was faced with her, his baby. He swore that sometimes she would know, know what he did, and yet, she looked at him with no malice, no underlying hatred. He knew that you hated him, he could see it in your eyes but she didn't. She was his little girl, the one person in the world that didn't despise him or judge him for what he's done. He couldn't handle that, it became too much sometimes. He needed to get out, just leave for a couple of days.

He grabbed a couple of things from a drawer before exiting the camper, not sparing you a second glance. You just stood there for a while, taking in the silence that swept over the camper. You heard the loud rumble of his truck as it drove off the property. You didn't know when you would see him again.

You made your way to the crib and leaned down, scooping her gently in your arms. "You can sleep with me tonight honey" you mumbled. Softly giving her a kiss on the forehead as you made your way to the bed. You let out a sigh of relief as your back hit the bed, all the exhaustion throughout the day had finally caught up to you. You snuggled close to her. Sometimes you wish this was just how it was. Johnny wasn't around and it was just you two, together, facing the world. You could dream, right?

#johnny slaughter #texas chainsaw massacre #johnny tcm game #tcm #tcm game #johnny slaughter x reader #bitterpotionnheadcanons #why did this make me emotional #johnnyslaughterdaddy'sgirl

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slyvieselkie · 10 months

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Regret

They say if there's one thing you'd never want to leave behind in this world, it is regret.

Gojo Satoru is known as the strongest man in the world. And unfortunately, that was his weakness. Because despite being hailed as the closest thing to god, this white haired man never felt like it. Because regrets clung onto his withering soul every time he tries to take a step forward.

He thought he could escape another one: you.

The strongest man in the world has no time and no chance for love. Just because you reign the skies, doesn't the people on the land can't fire at you. And Gojo Satoru couldn't have that.

That's why, you became just another person below his feet. From his love, his angel, his flower, his pearl, you transformed into a faceless figure. Just another ant under his feet to walk over and forget.

Satoru still remembers how he could hold you tightly, knowing that you'll never leave him. How he leans all of his weight onto you and clings to you because he knows you'll endure anything he throws at you. How he could give a soft smile and sparkle his eyes, knowing that you understand how much he loves you. How sometimes, he'll take a step back from your side knowing that you'll immediately see that something's wrong with him. Every little small movement of his, was so precious to you.

But unfortunately, the strongest man was too scared. Just because you are strong, doesn't mean you don't have any fears. And Satoru had more fears than strength.

That's why, Gojo left you. Despite embracing all types of bodies day and night, his arms still felt empty, but that's something he'll keep to himself. He began baring the weight of the world by himself, hoping that at some point he'll get used to the ache. Gojo smiled through the fear and pain of losing the people around him, because everyone believes that he'll save them in time. He stood in the middle of the limelight with straight shoulders because that's what the world expected. He changed everything about himself, so that he would never regret again.

"Satoru..."

He froze hearing your mellow voice, worn down from his torture betrayal. Once upon a time, Satoru had promised that if there was anyone in the world he couldn't hurt...it was you. But look at where he was, the center of your pain and distress. That was his fourth last regret.

Satoru couldn't turn around, he couldn't bare to the see the visualization of the treason he had committed on your soul, body, and mind. So he stood there, back facing you, and hoped that you would quickly leave. That was his third last regret.

There was a small sigh, "I've...I've been sent to deal with a curse", the white haired man blinked behind his circular framed glasses, "Hmm, and?", pursing his lips at the cold response.

"Satoru...I hope you don't hurt yourself even more, you shouldn't live with any regrets. Be happy, be sad, be angry, and cry whenever you want."

And with that, you left him. Hoping that he'll one day learn to love someone and live with his fears, know that his strength comes from the strength of others.

That was his second last regret, letting you walk away so easily. Even though he had so many things he wanted to say and do, to kneel before your feet and proclaim his love for you, to apologize and forever grovel to gain your trust back, to receive your gentle love.

So imagine Satoru's anguish when the higher ups announced you had been killed in action. They couldn't even retrieve your body because there was nothing left it. Not a single bit of hair, cloth, or drop of blood for to the poor man who finally decided that he would ask for your forgiveness when you returned to him.

He cried and screamed for days, destroying the world around him. Imagining your last breaths, your last words, your last thoughts. How you died so painfully and so cruelly, that no one could ever speak of it. You who had been so bright, so loving, in a world of evilness, should have deserved a better ending.

You were his last regret. He should've been there for you, at every step of the way, walking into the abandoned church to rid the world of that filth. But he didn't do that, and now this was the consequences of his foolish actions.

All he could do was heed your last words: never live with any regrets. However, your wish wouldn't come true. Because you would be his final love, the last one to take care of his weathered heart. And if there was some god out there, then the strongest man will come face to face with him, and demand that you two meet again in a better world.

But until then, Gojo Satoru will be creating that better world. So just wait for him, he'll be there shortly.

To all of my lovelies who read through that, thank you for doing so! This was quite a roller coaster of emotions for me, I definitely had to stop a few times and collect myself. But it was worth it! I loved the way it turned and I'm super proud of this. Of course, feedback is always welcome!

Love you 💋

#jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo #gojo saturo #angst #gojo satoru angst #romance #tragedy #reader insert #no comfort #not proofread

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monstrousvoice · 1 year

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Hi, followed after your latest chapter, so anyway thought you would enjoy the mental image of Morgott trying certain foods for the first time as King.

Normally he wouldn't partake in fancy [to him] foods, but sometimes there's dinners meant to serve for strengthening the nobility's measure of him. And it would look suspicious as hell if everyone BUT him ate.

So I just keep imagining him trying honey cakes, roast boar, chicken, fruits from orchards he half saw during a initial patrol as Margit. All while trying to keep a straight face. Hell, warm food that isn't burnt in some way probably feels weird to him for a while.

I don't know, i just keep imagining he purposely saves eating those things for when he Has to because he likes them So Much that it becomes a thing he denies himself-- like a bed or tailored clothes.

I have thoughts and your fic hasn't helped stop them.

Oh Anon you sweet bean!!

I do think that Morgott is the type to deny himself any simple pleasures when he can. Sleeping? Anywhere that is out of the way of others and that gets the job done. Doesn't matter if he wakes up feeling sore and uncomfortable, a being like him doesn't deserve the luxury of a bed.

Clothing? The same story. He is dedicated to protecting his city and the Erdtree, any fine clothing would be torn to shreds during battle, not to mention it only hinders his movements. What does it matter if his wishes to feel soft cotton against his skin instead of coarse fibers that are worn and frayed and smell of his own sweat? He hasn't earned the right to feel such things. He has always wanted to see if he would look...somewhat less horrifying if he was dressed in clothing that had his mother's gold as an accent color. Would he seem less shameful to her then?

And food? Food is the most tempting and cruel thing he denies himself. Fun fact, the short I'm finishing up and going to post next goes over this issue a little more 👀

When he first donned the Mimic Veil and took his place as king, he actually could not eat the food given to him. His body was malnourished (still is actually) and the food was so rich in nutrients for him that his body couldn't handle it.

But he was so hungry.

He is ashamed for it, but it was a night where he actually caved into his shameful desires and ate as much of the food he could get his hands on. It smelled so delicious...A smell he had only ever caught a whiff of while hiding in the shadows of sewer tunnels, when the common folk walked above him eating and selling from carts.

He ate, and ate, and ate. Until he could eat no more.

And he very quickly regretted it. His stomach roiled and rebelled against the onslaught of rich proteins and pure sugars, and he was sick. He threw everything back up almost as quickly as he had caved to his desires and scarfed it down.

Months later, when he was studying in the library, he would learn that the reason for his sickness was indeed due to his malnourished state, but at the time? He had thought it was a fitting punishment by Grace, the Greater Will, for succumbing to his cravings and eating the food that belonged to the people more deserving than him.

If he must eat, such as at a party of nobility, he eats the very bare minimum regardless of how his stomach may growl and beg. The sights and scents alone can be overwhelming for his advanced senses, but he manages to pull through.

As his Lord Consort (and possibly God depending on how you like to think you got married to him) you take it upon yourself to help him with these issues. Its a long and arduous process, one that has the both of you get angry or cry or feel like giving up. But the key to being Morgott's beloved? You're just as stubborn as he is.

You help him with these habits and even encourage him to improve himself more. For the food in particular, there are a couple ways to convince him to eat. You can guilt trip him, or make it a secret and reward.

Guilt tripping is when his response to your prodding is anger, which happens the most in the beginning. If he's in a mood where he refuses to eat and gets angry when you convince him otherwise? Bring out the crocodile tears and sniffling. He's going to let all this wonderful food, made just for him, go to waste? Food that the chefs spent hours on, just to be thrown into the back alleys for the rats to eat? When there are those out there who don't have anything at all? This triggers his memories of being a starved child...and he finds he can't actually send you away.

The method of making it a secret and reward is the most common way to convince him to eat, and the most effective. Take a couple bites of the meal yourself, lay it on a little thick how good it tastes, how wonderful it is, to get his attention. When he looks to you, say you got it for him but it's so delicious you couldn't help but sneak a bite. He doesn't mind, truly. It's the exact opposite actually, he is rather happy to know that you are fed and healthy.

Then offer it to him as intended. When he tries to refuse, make it into a "game". You won't tell anyone, least of all the Greater Will, that he ate some of the meal. It's your shared secret, and no one else will ever find out. And if it's a secret between just the two of you...then it's okay to do it this one time, yes? Just one time, he'll take a bite and be done with it.

But then he chews and swallows...and you praise him. Tell him that you're so proud he actually ate! And it was so tasty right? Maybe he should take another bite, just to really savor the taste and texture. It's just a small part to add to your new secret! No one will know...

And before he knows it...the whole meal is gone. Sitting comfortably in his very full belly and giving his body the nourishment it's been craving. Eventually he gets so used to these little "secret" food meetings between you both, he doesn't even need you to pretend any longer. You can just come in and settle down with him and hold his food out, and he takes it without hesitation.

#Elden Ring #Morgott #Morgott the Omen King #Morgott X Tarnished #Morgott X Reader #TW Eating Disorder #Good lordy I really went ham here #I love talking about character habits and anon you got my gears turning #Hope you stick around for future chapters and stories!!! 💖#Bee buzzing and crow cawing

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paintedscales · 4 months

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Describe how they communicate

and

23. Did you tailor your OC for the other in the romance?

Hiiii, thank you so much for the ask! ; w ; Sorry it took so long for me to answer it. TT u TT / ♥

ROMANCE ASKS

Nomin and Estinien have a lot of non-verbal ways of communication, both being people that tend to do via actions versus speaking. I like to imagine that from HW all the way to EW, Estinien took notice of Nomin's tail movements and started correlating them to certain emotional responses when he's not looking at her face directly.

So whenever Estinien sees the telltale tail signs ( :) ), he can use them to approach Nomin and comfort her. Whether they're the annoyed and quick flicks to the left, the stiffened tail with stiff movements when she's angry or scared, or the confused / uncertain / apprehensive slow curls, he can typically discern her emotions and approach her to place a gentle hand on her shoulder, or hug her if she's amicable.

Otherwise, when speaking, both Estinien and Nomin are pretty blunt people who can comfortably share brutal honesty with one another without offense being taken. Despite their bluntness, they're also playful with one another, being able to tease one another and roast one another while finding amusement in themselves.

Since Nomin also knows that Estinien would rather backflip into the Rhotano Sea than be encumbered by reading most forms of writing, she makes sure he has a linkpearl on hand if he wants to keep in touch when he's off doing work in Thavnair at Vrtra's request because she does like hearing his voice (though this may be set to be rethought out pending how Dawntrail plays out and if we learn more about what Estinien gets up to outside of Radz-at-Han once we're in Tural).

As for tailoring my OC for the romance: absolutely not.

Putting the rest of the answer under a cut, because this actually got longer than I anticipated. But the sentence above is a perfect tl;dr.

I've made it no secret that I started off really despising Estinien, and I was annoyed with him throughout the DRG quests, and all of HW. I often was like, "man, if this dude dies, fucking good riddance. Fuck that guy." Even as he was laying in the sickbed and waxing poetic about his self-reflection, I was just, "GOD, CAN MY CHARACTER JUST WALK AWAY..."

Nomin wasn't tailored for Estinien in any fashion. When I made her, I made her because I wanted to have a dedicated Warrior of Light character that I wanted to go through content again with and make a story for. When I learned more about the Xaela and their tribes, and customs, I grew to love them -- especially because I LOVE seeing representation of people you don't normally see in media and video games. I'm happy for all the Mongolians that are so, so happy to see their people represented. If Square Enix makes a fantasy land with people that are representative of the Filipino people, I will genuinely LOVE that and make another dedicated WoL who represents half of my cultural roots.

When Endwalker started and we got to fucking customs, his reaction to being asked what his current occupation was...that was the "FUCK!" moment for me. Because I LOVE when powerful men show dumbass himbo mcbuffoonisms to the audience -- that makes them 10000% more endearing to me. (No, his admission of 'swinging a lance with nary a thought in my head' quote wasn't enough at the time because he still never really outwardly showed that kind of silliness in a way that was visible to me.)

#questions and answers #user: crowdsourcedloner #thank you ♥#ffxiv #ffxiv oc #oc: nomin tal kheeriin #estinien varlineau #cinnamon ship

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azuraskys · 2 years

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But like what if the champions had an s/o that’s human that played BotW :00 so their s/o knew they would die and stuff

I really like this idea. Someone from our world just plops into Hyrule PRE Calamity, like super pre-Calamity. Maybe a good few years, to allow for relationships to grow, right? And once the Champions are called together, their S/O comes along to assist. God it sounds so good.

Headcanons for each Champion meeting their world travelling S/O below the cut! Its long;;

The Champions with an S/O that has played Breath of the Wild

Revali

He would have met his future S/O by the Flight Range. One minute, he was calmly training and practicing using his Gale, the next minute there's just... this change. A strange energy surrounds him. Its not necessarily malevolent. Its just... strange. Something has changed in the nearby area.

He comes upon someone shivering like a leaf in the cold, laying in the frigid snow of Northwest Hebra. They are severely underdressed for the weather. Not only that, but strangely dressed, too.

Coming up to the stranger in the snow, he sees they're barely conscious. "They should have prepared better," he thinks. Luckily, they don't appear to be frostbitten. But, its strange. There's no footprints to suggest they walked here, and it hasn't snowed recently. Its almost as if they just... appeared here.

He fights with himself for a bit. On one hand. this is a defenseless stranger, obviously in need of help, but on the other, this could potentially be something dangerous. After all, with talks of Calamity Ganon's possible resurgence, it has been reported all over Hyrule that the ancient Yiga Clan has resumed movement. This could be one of their tricks. But if not, Revali would just be leaving someone to die.

He groans and picks the person up, taking them to the Flight Range's loft by leaning them on his shoulder. He puts them down on the pillows and checks to see if the fire under the cooking pot is hot enough. Then he simply takes a seat nearby and fiddles with his bow to give himself something to do until this stranger wakes up.

When they do, his life changes forever.

This stranger, that he encountered purely by chance, is now talking of things unimaginable. They speak of a future laid with ruin, Hyrule's downfall, and most shockingly of all, his death. Revali, like anyone in that situation, refuses to believe it at first. He's insulted, maybe even angry, that they would dare to say he'd fail like that. He scoffs, asking them what proof they have. When they falter, it actually makes him anxious. Proof can be forged. But, a lack of it...

What the person said to him wasn't entirely unbelievable. Like him becoming a "Champion", for instance. He knew he was the most skilled out of all the Rito, and his Gale only added to that. He didn't doubt that the Royal Family would inevitably come looking for his help, seeing how desperate they are to build up manpower.

He can see that this stranger is very downtrodden by his skepticism. They keep pleading with him to just believe them, because they don't want to see him, or anyone for that matter, die.

"If what you say is true... then what can we do to prevent it?"

Revali struggles with the idea a lot. Especially the fact that he supposedly died. It almost makes him want to give up at one point.

But his future S/0 is with him every step of the way. They're kind, patient, and always telling him that his death wasn't his fault. It wasn't that he wasn't strong enough. It was that Ganon simply planned ahead, and they didn't know.

He's pessimistic at first, of course, but eventually... he starts to believe them.

Their relationship slowly grows from there. His S/O's insistence on being there when he trains, and constant pep-talking starts to begrudgingly become endearing.

"You can do this, Revali." "Yes, yes. I know."

They're never seen apart from one another. While they don't explicitly state they're together, everyone knows.

And when Princess Zelda comes to request Revali's assistance in the fight against The Calamity, his S/O grabs his hand and holds it firmly. They're going to be with him, no matter what. And he'd expect nothing less.

Once the Champions are all called together and begin the real meat of their endeavors, they tend to stay a few days in the castle. Revali would be okay with it at first, but after a while, he'd request to bring his S/O along. "For good reason, of course." He says. Zelda would remind him this is a serious mission, and that it isn't a time to be flirting, and Revali would probably retort a little harshly. But he'd take a breath and say, again, that he has good reason.

When his S/O comes along with him the next time, things are very professional, unlike what everyone was hoping for expecting. Revali asks them to tell the Princess what they told him, and he vouches for their honesty.

"I know, I know. I didn't believe it either. I mean, me. Dying?"

Daruk

Daruk would encounter his future S/O while out patrolling the area one day by Goronbi Lake. They'd be unconscious from heatstroke, leaned up against a rock.

"Hey, buddy, you alright there?" He tries gently nudging them awake, but they groan. He knows Hylians can't handle the heat of Eldin Volcano without elixirs... and it seems like this person didn't get the memo. Worried, he carefully picks them up and takes them farther down the path, out of the hotter areas so they can cool off.

Being the one who found them, he can't leave them until he knows they're okay, so he waits patiently for them to wake up, all the while checking to make sure they're still breathing. Hylians can be fickle creatures!

But why are this person's ears so weird?

Daruk doesn't even consider the possibility that they could be a threat. If they were, they would have attacked by now. He could tell they were just someone in need of help.

He was lost in his own thoughts when the stranger woke up with a "oh my god" before promptly vomiting.

Who would've thought this would be the beginning of everything?

When initially hearing everything his future S/O would have to say, the first thing Daruk would think is "Are you sure the heat didn't mess with your head?" But just... seeing how earnest they are, he's inclined to believe them. He doesn't really understand this whole "magic" thing the Hylians talk about, despite essentially having it himself, so he assumes this person is some kind of magic seer, like the fortune teller who warned of Calamity Ganon's revival.

"So... What can we do?"

The stranger explains everything. They're serious, but optimistic. They're always saying to him "You're strong, Daruk! You just need the right tools, and I'll help you get them."

The two of them are inseparable. They work together to brainstorm different strategies for dealing with Fireblight Ganon, and how they can help fight in the larger battle. Daruk lets them stay in Goron City, making sure to catch every Fireproof Lizard he sees on his patrols so they're stocked up. He's caring like that.

Over time, their bond deepens. He sees how much they care for Hyrule, and for him (and how they're not a Hylian). But Daruk wouldn't really know it was love until someone pointed it out to him. That person would probably be Revali, through sarcasm. That he would have to end up explaining.

When Princess Zelda asks Daruk to be one of her Champions, Daruk and his S/O share a look before giving the Princess a hearty "Yeah! We're ready for anything!" "I'm asking Daruk, but, okay..."

Daruk would immediately ask to bring his S/O along to the castle. Zelda is a little put off, and asks "Why? This is a very serious mission!"

"You won't believe it but... They're magic!" What? "They can, you know, see the future. Like that fortune teller." Zelda's mind is literally spinning. His S/O? A seer? She needs to hear it for herself.

That's when Daruk gets them to tell the Princess everything.

"I believe them. They told me you'd ask me to be a Champion, and you did!"

Mipha

Mipha would find her future S/O at the edge of a riverbank while out swimming. They'd be groggy, but not unconscious. Of course, Mipha would be extremely concerned, checking them up and down and asking if they feel alright. Their strange appearance is the least of her worries.

They're not wet, so it doesn't seem like they had trouble swimming. But if that's the case, why were they waking up at the edge of a river?

The first thing this stranger says is "... Are you... Mipha?"

She's a little surprised, but nods affirmatively. Now she's a little wary. But, she still wants to make sure they're okay.

Immediately this person just begins to ramble, fumbling over their own words before just looking up at her and Goddess do they look so sad.

After giving them a moment, she tells them to say everything again, but slowly. When they do, she just can't make sense of it. "What a cruel thing to say." She says, hearing them speak of Hyrule's downfall. The stranger in front of her pleads with her. Promises that what they're saying isn't a cruel joke, but what could very well happen in the future.

Honestly, it makes Mipha get really downtrodden. Just the idea of everything falling apart, her dying, Link dying...

"B-but don't worry! There's still time, we can prevent it!" The stranger grabs her hands and looks at her with hope. While she doesn't entirely believe them... she appreciates their optimism.

Finding out they don't have anywhere to stay, Mipha allows them to stay at the Domain for a bit. They start following her whenever they see her, talking about strategies to fight "Waterblight" as they call it, the best ways to handle Calamity Ganon, and how soon enough the Princess of Hyrule is going to be asking Mipha to be a Champion.

She finds their presence endearing, thinking at first that its because they remind her of her brother, but after a while she realizes that's not the case. She likes having them around because she likes them.

Of course, to her, Link comes first still. But that doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate her future S/O. It just takes time for her to move on.

The day Zelda asks Mipha to be a Champion, it really starts to set in that her S/O was right. Mipha immediately pushes them in front of Zelda at the earliest chance, saying "This person has very important information that you must hear!"

Baby Sidon may or may not be EXTREMELY jealous of this stranger.

Urbosa

Encounters her future S/O outside of Gerudo Town, in the nearby area. They're passed out in the sand, starting to shiver from the oncoming desert night. Urbosa is cautious, approaching carefully and asking aloud if the person is alright.

They'd awake with a "Huh?!", quickly sitting up, causing Urbosa to reach for the hilt of her sword. The stranger would look at her and ask if she really is Urbosa.

This would be the final straw for her and she'd take out her blade, pointing it straight toward this mysterious person she's found passed out, in the desert, at night, who is now asking if she's "really Urbosa". Sounds like a Yiga plot to her.

"Woah, woah! I promise I'm not a threat!" She narrows her eyes. "... Ma'am."

After a moment, she'd put her sword away and sternly question them on what they're doing out in the desert. They'd sheepishly shrug, explaining they just ended up there. They are not making a good case for themself.

"Y-you guys need help fighting Calamity Ganon, right? I can help! I've seen what's going to happen!" This sounds unbelievable, until they mention that the Princess was going to ask her to be a Champion. No one else should have known that- it was only spoken of in private talks between the Princess and Urbosa at the moment.

She points her sword at them again. "How do you know that?"

From then on, she starts to see the sincerity in this person. They're not pulling anything. They're being genuine. Instead of waiting for Zelda to come to her, Urbosa immediately calls for Zelda to meet with this stranger. Its from there that their relationship deepens over time, as they assist both Zelda and Urbosa with the situation at hand.

If her S/O is male, that's a little bit of an issue. She'd likely set them up in the Kara Kara Bazaar, as they can't enter Gerudo Town. Otherwise, they'd stay with her in the Royal Palace.

She'd have them by her side often though. With the rising threat of Calamity Ganon, she has to frequently visit the castle. She'd take her S/O along, silently admiring how awestruck they are at everything.

Link

He'd encounter his future S/O while out with Zelda, trailing behind her as her guard while she investigates a point of interest. As they're walking around, they come upon a stranger laying in the nearby grass, unconscious.

Zelda goes to help them, but Link stands in front of her, reminding her to be cautious. Carefully, he approaches the figure, hand wrapped around the hilt of the Master Sword.

But before he can do anything, they stir. Slowly rising up from their spot in the grass, they look around before looking right at the pair of Hylians staring intensely.

The stranger immediately tries to get up to approach them, fumbling over their words before Link unsheathes his sword and points it at them.

"W-okay, Master Sword in my face." Throwing their hands in the air they insist they're not trying to do anything, its just that they're kind of freaking out like is this really Hyrule????? Are you Link and Princess Zelda????

Antics ensue. After ensuring they're not a threat, Zelda begins questioning them on everything. They scramble to explain as much as they can, and how they really, really want to help in the battle against Calamity Ganon.

But after hearing everything, Link feels really upset. He feels ashamed. If what you're saying is true, in the future, he dies before defeating Calamity Ganon. He fails at the one thing he has been expected to succeed at his entire life.

His future S/O would undoubtedly notice this. When they're brought to the castle to assist Zelda and the rest of Hyrule, they try to catch him when he's alone so they can try to make him feel better.

"I know you won't take it if I say its not your fault, but its not, Link. You- No one could have predicted what Calamity Ganon would do. You can't expect yourself to always be prepared for the unknown- that's impossible."

"And don't try to give me the "its my duty as the Hero" thing. While I respect it, at the end of the day, you are one person. You cannot save the world alone."

Link would actually consider their words. At least, he would appreciate the fact they considered his feelings.

The two would start to bond during their time spent with Zelda, because if you spending time with Zelda, you're spending time with Link.

If his S/O was trying to explain something important to a crowd of officials and they were refusing to listen, he would shoot them all a stern look that would let them know the Hero himself trusts this person's word.

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ksjade · 2 years

Text

Revisiting a Legend

Tupac Shakur. I could really stop it at that, no need for introduction. But, for the sake of formalities, I wont. Tupac is the most celebrated MC in the culture, a man people still hail as hip-hops visionary, messiah, legend, or god even. Why? It’s because of what he stood for and how he represented his community. With all this notoriety one would think he was on the scene for YEARS but no, he was only out for about 5 before his untimely death. Although a full discography review would do better justice in really showing who Tupac was, for now I’ll settle for a few songs from his album before his death: All Eyez On Me.

Before getting into the songs lets first start with the album itself. All Eyez on Me was the first album of its time to be released as a hip-hop double disk. Back then, this was unseen but after Pac others started following the blueprint. Not only that but this album became certified diamond when it broke records selling 10 million copies in the US. Why does this matter? It just goes to show how much work Pac put into his art, not many people can release 6 more albums after death. But Pac didn’t just put the work in for himself, he also did it for his people. In his 1994 MTV interview he gives a palatable analogy as to why his community is so angry and why it’s justified, he says,

“we was ASKING 10 years ago. We was ASKING with the Panthers, we was ASKING with them, you know, with the civil rights movement. We was asking. Now these people who were asking are all dead and in jail, now what do you think we’re going to do? ASK??… And we shouldn’t be angry? And my raps that I’m rapping to my community shouldn’t be filled with rage?”

In most, if not all, Pac’s interviews he talks about needing to rap about the suffering and injustices his people face because if not him then who? Not the media, not the schools, not government, so it had to be him. I could really go on and on, quoting interviews, movies, songs etc., etc. but lemme move on.

“Only God Can Judge Me”

This one is a personal favorite. From start to finish Pac has amazing bars that lament about the struggles of living in the gutter, the lies of the media, and the mental struggles of it all. This whole song could honestly be dissected line for line but I’ll stick with a few.

“And all my memories, of seein' brothers bleed

And everybody grieves, but still nobody sees

Recollect your thoughts don't get caught up in the mix

'Cause the media is full of dirty tricks”

Although not as descriptive or ‘vulgar’ as some other lines Pac has used they still say a lot. To put it simply, what’s being described is the horror and trauma his community faces and despite it all they’re repeatedly ignored and looked over. But, when talked about (or rapped about) the media paints him, or any other speaker, as the aggressor, the instigator, or the evil. Throughout the song he mentions thoughts of death and suicidal / dangerous actions that are brought about because of the pain and the struggle people have to endure just to live. At the end of the day people are just doing what they gotta do to just stay alive and keep themselves and their families fed. So, no, no one can judge what they’ve done except for God.

“Heartz Of Men” & “All Eyez on Me”

This album has a lot of feel good, ‘Thug Life,’ music. This doesn’t change the integrity of Pac though. To start, Pac’s definition of a thug is not the textbook, he means the underdog, the beaten, the abused. Songs like Heartz of Men and All Eyez on Me still describe a lot about his struggles, just more personal. Throughout both songs he talks about being back stabbed by friends and having people after him, but still getting back up to keep doing what he’s doing. Particularly in All Eyez on Me the title alone describes his ongoing struggle of not wanting to be forgotten. And just like his other songs that showcase his lyrical prowess these songs are no different. Many people are put off by rap music because of the ‘vulgarity’ or it’s claimed to condone gang life but, although this might be true in some cases, in many cases, especially Tupac’s case, it’s just describing what really goes down, what people really experience. In a 1994 interview with Ed Gordon Pac describes living,

“We all living in a war zone. It’s not as easy as people are making us think… it’s not like that. We live in hell, we live in the gutter… by the time you get out your house you strapped up to protect yourself cause’ you living in the same community the police is carrying rifles and riot gear.”

In another interview, 1995 MTV News, he describes wanting to finish school and wanting to go to college but just like so many kids he was unable to. He describes having to work to feed himself, his mother’s drug addiction at the time, and his house not having any light as factors. So even though it may be fair to say that rap is too aggressive or vulgar it’s not a true understanding of what the genre is. If just hearing about the struggle is too much just imagine being cursed with it.

2Pac’s Legacy

Just describing these few things truly doesn’t do enough justice. Some other honorable mentions are Do For Love, Keep Ya Head Up, Ghetto Gospel, and Dear Mama. Tupac is emotional, and I don’t mean that negatively. His raw emotion, his big mouth, his willingness to speak his heart, and the obligation he feels towards his community is really what makes him so beloved. Aside from his music, this is what makes him a legend. In all his interviews he connects to and speaks for his people, they never leave his mind. In the 1994 BET interview he says he speaks for the youth, all youth. Going back to his 1994 MTV interview he says

“All the society is doing is leeching off the ghetto. They use the ghetto for their pain, for their sorrow, for their culture, for their music, for their happiness, for their movies… I don’t wanna be another 50 years old at a BET ‘we shall over come’ achievement awards… I want when they see me they know that everyday when I’m breathing it’s for us to go farther.”

He says “us.” He keeps the same energy for the poor. Theres so many clips out there with pac asking how can you make millions and be okay with people living on the streets? It’s clear to see just how and why Tupac really changed a community.

Even today rappers still go back to him, the blue print. Kendrick saying that he’s continuing the legacy and even dreaming about him. ASAP Rocky admitting that he’s still a fan and is still moved by his work. And many, many, many more. It’s sad to hear that the youth doesn’t fully remember and acknowledge his legacy and although I understand his music isn’t this generations taste or some just might not care, his influence on the genre and on his people is undeniable. Many forget Tupac was a just a boy, only 25 when he died, but even in such a short amount of time he’s made more than a generations worth of impact.

“I’m not saying I’m gonna rule the world or in gonna change the world but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world”

#tupac shakur #2pacforever #all eyez on me #Spotify

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margotw10 · 1 year

Text

Crashing on Crush. JJK (m)

Pairing : crush!Jungkook x Female Reader

Synopsis : After your make-out session with Jungkook, you haven't hear of him for days, until he visits you at work.

Words : 4.4k

Warnings : explicit language; alcohol consumption ; cursing ; lap ridding ; oral sex (f. receiving) ; handjob

A/n : Hi! Welcome back for the third part (so pls read the previous ones) :) Don't hesitate to comment. We are going for some spice here 🌶 Please keep in mind that English is not my first language. Once again, thanks to my friend Mathilde who fixed a lot of grammar mistakes <3

Ch. 1. --- Ch. 2 --- Ch. 3 --- Ch. 4---- Ch. 5---- Ch. 6---- Ch. 7---- Ch. 8---- Ch. 9----

God must have heard your silenced prayers because a cup of coffee is floating in front of your face. You look up and meet Namjoon’s soft brown eyes. You take the life-saving beverage and appreciate the delicious taste.

"Oh God, you don’t know how much I needed it! Thank you Namjoon"

"No offense but you did look like you needed it" he jokes

You sigh, knowing that he’s probably right. It’s been eight days since you and Jungkook kissed. Eight fucking days and you haven’t heard from him. No text, no call. Nothing. If work - which is so interesting and gratifying - keeps your mind busy at day, alone in your apartment at night you have no distraction. You just think over and over again, replaying the night in your head to spot what you’ve missed and could explain why he hasn't contacted you. So, yeah, you haven’t slept very well the past week.

"Uhm, Y/N" Namjoon seems embarrassed, he clears his throat to pull himself together. "I was thinking, uhm, if you are free tonight, we could have dinner"

His red cheeks are so cute, your heart melts. Namjoon has been nothing but kind and sweet towards you. And it’s not the first time you think ‘I wish he were my crush, so I wouldn’t be stressed about radio-silence Jungkook’. But you know damn well that your mind and your heart are full of a man with lip piercing and tattooed arm… However, you can’t wait forever for Jungkook to pay attention to you - or can you?

This dinner will be a great opportunity to think about something else and to get to know Namjoon better.

"Sure!"

The blond man sighs in relief, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Great, uhm, let’s meet after your shift at the entrance door"

You nod and watch him leave, not without almost hitting a large plant pot which makes you laugh. Cute.

At seven pm, you exit the gallery to wait for Namjoon in front of the building. However, you certainly didn’t think you would meet this person. You halt your movement by astonishment. Jungkook is here. Right in front of you. And you have mixed feelings about that. Obviously, you are very happy to see him because, in fact, you missed him. But you are also angry with him for being quiet during a whole week… You have no idea what he is doing here. Well, you know is probably here to talk to you but to say what? That he doesn’t want to see you again? That he wants to kiss you again? So you stay silent, waiting for him to speak. And he does:

"Hi, Y/N"

"Hi"

You wait but he doesn’t say anything.

"What are you doing here?" You ask after few seconds of unbearable stillness that is the exact opposite of your harsh heartbeats.

"I wanted to invite you to dinner"

What the fuck? You can’t help a disdained laugh. You have been waiting eight fucking days and he just shows up at your work like nothing happened! You are so mad right now but why does you heart soften at the thought he wants to spend some time with you?

"I already have something set up for tonight" Your voice is harsher than you want and you kind of feel bad when you see the disappointment in Jungkook’s eyes.

He bits his bottom lip and this simple act reminds you of how good his lips feels… You shake your head to not think about it.

"I wanted to call you but I didn’t have time" Jungkook says lowly

"Yeah, sure" You reply, annoyed

"Actually, I spent the week at my parents for my grandpa’s funeral" His voice is not filled with reproach but with a will of explanation.

You gaps and immediately feel horrible to have treated him so coldly. Your eyes soften and you put a hand on his shoulder to confort him.

"Oh my god, I’m so sorry Jungkook, I didn’t know. Are you okay?"

"He has been sick for a while so we were prepared, but it was hard for my mum. I’m sorry, I should have at least sent you a text"

You can see in his doe eyes and hear in his voice the guilt. You shake your head.

"No, you don’t have to apologize, I totally understand. You needed to focus on your family. Please don’t feel bad"

You want to hug him so bad when you see the sadness on his face. You don’t really know what to say or what to do to erase his pain but when Jungkook looks into your eyes, he knows how you wish to console him and his heavy heart feels lighter. So many words are running through his mind, so many things he would like to say to you. Like the fact that he has been thinking about you the past few days, that he has wished you were there with him to hug him, that he has been fucking missing you each fucking minute.

You open your mouth to say something but you are cut off by Namjoon joining you.

"Are you ready to go?" He asks you cheerfully

You are aware of the sudden tension between the two men. Jungkook’s jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. ‘Him again’, he thinks. He wonders if the guy is now your boyfriend, if he has kissed you while he was gone, which makes him regret even more to not have contacted you. Now he is pissed off because at first, he thought that you having plans was a lie to not see him but it’s way worse that you actually have plans. With another man. A man you have seen all week.

"I-Namjoon and I are going to eat" you start, embarrassed, blushing hard before turning towards your colleague "if it’s okay with you, Jungkook could join us?" You try

Well, that was not what Namjoon had in mind. But what could he say now? No? He cannot refuse so he swallows the sword in his throat and he answers a no-so-conceiving ‘sure’. And the three of you head to the Korean barbecue restaurant.

———

Saying that there is tension in the air is an understatement. The meat grilling is quite the only sound coming from your table. Seeing the two men side by side, you realize they couldn’t be more different. Namjoon, wearing a white shirt and light grey slacks, is a very sweet boy, and very cute with his dimples. His glasses makes him look smarter - even though he is the smartest person you’ve ever met - and professional. Definitely the type every parents would love to have as son-in-law. On the other hand, Jungkook is the opposite, the perfect example of what a 'bad boy look’ is. He is not a bad boy in fact because you can see the kindness in his so pretty eyes but he is surely intimidating. He always wears dark and baggy cloths. His piercing and his tattoos enhance his B boy vibes, but they also make him so fucking hot.

Jungkook and Namjoon haven’t talked and you feel ill at ease, waddling on your seat. You clear your throat to save the night:

"Let’s cheer"

You smile and pull up your glass in the most cheerful way possible, hoping that it will give rise to a better mood. But it doesn’t. The two men click their glass but they still don’t speak. You sigh in disappointment…

"So, Jungkook, right?" Finally says Namjoon "What do you do for living?"

You send a grateful gaze at your colleague.

"I’m a graphic designer" Jungkook answers politely but a little bit coldly, not sharing any more details. "What about you? What do you do exactly?"

"I’m the owner’s assistant. I help him to supervise everything: the exhibitions, the contacts with the artists, the communication, the staff. I’m also in charge of training new recruits, that’s why I’ve spent a lot of time with Y/N these days"

Jungkook grins, he knows damn well that this Namjoon guy wanted to snap at him. He sips on his beer, fantasying how satisfying it would be to kiss you again, like the last time, in front of Namjoon. He really has to behave to not put his hand on your thigh. It’s even harder when you are so pretty in your pink a-line dress with small puff sleeves.

"Hey, Y/N, we could have a last drink at Danbam, what do you think?" Jungkook asks suddenly

You choke on your spit, blushing hard. Last time you were in this bar was for your make-out session with Jungkook. And the little sparkle of cockiness in his eyes proves you he meant to tease.

"I, uhm, I don’t think I want to drink more than this tonight" you say cautiously

"So, do you go out with him a lot?"

Jungkook couldn’t help but asking you. He feels so jealous, he doesn’t even recognize himself. What are you doing to him?

"No, actually it was the first time"

"Good"

You turn your head to Jungkook with an abrupt movement. Your mouth is opened by surprise, questioning him silently about the meaning.

"I want to kiss you again" Jungkook says simply

His words provoke a whole ardent fire in your body. You want it too. So fucking much. You miss his lips, his hands on you. You miss feeling him on your skin - kissing him one time isn’t enough. You want to do it again. You want more.

"Do it" you manage to whisper

It’s enough for Jungkook to blend your lips together. The kiss is stronger, rawer than the last one. He is hungry and maybe a little angry. When the little moans he loves so much return to life, he smirks. He wants to kiss you like Namjoon nor any other men can. And he does. There is no word to describe how much you love his mouth. You wish the moment could last forever, you never want to be lips apart. But humans are not perfect and they do need to breath so you distance your face just enough to catch your breathe.

"Do you want me to take you home?" Jungkook asks

You know it’s not just a ride home. It’s an implicit question: do you want more? Fuck yeah.

You nod and Jungkook smiles. He looks happy and relieved. He leaves a soft kiss on your inflamed lips and grabs your hand.

———

You mostly stay silent in the car. It’s not a weird or uncomfortable silence but just a calm silence, full of promise for what will happen next. You can’t deny that your heart beats loudly and your hands are a little shaky. Jungkook remarks and intertwines yours fingers, saying with no words that everything is fine and you don’t have to be stressed. But how can you not when you will spend the night with your crush? Your - two now - kisses proved you that you have feelings for him. Strong feelings.

After you opened your door and took off your shoes, Jungkook and you stay, once again, in silence. You are looking everywhere except at him, feeling so nervous. It has been more than one year since you last had sex, and all the times you had before were with your boyfriends. However, Jungkook is not your boyfriend, your relationship is… undetermined. You also wonder if he finds you attractive enough, and if you will be good enough in bed. All these thoughts make your hands sweaty.

"Hey, we don’t have to do anything" he says gently "We can have sex, or not. We can do other things than having sex. Or we can just talk. Don’t pressure yourself"

Your heart melts at his consideration. He is so nice, so sweet that you are falling in lo… No! No, it’s too soon, you don’t know much about him even after hours spent on his Instagram. It’s just your arousal speaking, it messes up with your brain.

You take the time to look at Jungkook and you can’t help but imagining what’s underneath his black bomber jacket. You remember this one pic from Instagram of him at the beach, shirtless. His ‘I know I make your panties wet’ look has never been more accurate. Even right now, you are feeling horny.

He leans down and kisses you. At first, gently but the kiss is getting rougher. You instantly feel your pussy clench and moan at its emptiness. Your hands running through Jungkook’s hair pull him closer and invite him to kiss you deeper if it’s even possible. His own hands move all over your body: your hair, your neck, your back, your waist and your ass. He squeezes the latter and a small groan from you tells him you love it. Actually, you love every single of his touch on your body.

Jungkook leads you to your couch and puts you on his lap without breaking the kiss for a second. You are completely high on his touch, you can’t think straight - not that you really care. Between your legs, you can feel his hard cock pressing on your covered and wet pussy. A moan of pure delight escapes your mouth and you press down to enhance the touch. You slowly begin to move your hips back and forth to release some of the urge of friction. Jungkook grabs your ass to control your move and you love it. You love how he uses your body to please himself.

But it’s not enough. You need to feel his skin. You don’t know if you said it or if Jungkook can read in your mind but he halts the kiss for just a couple of seconds in order to take off your dress. His intense eyes discover your matching white bra and panties, so pure, so innocent. It makes him crazy because the horniness visible on your face is far from innocent. He leans down and places his head between your boobs, kissing your skin. Your body is on fire. Your head rolls back - which makes your moans huskier - and you pull on his black hair by pleasure and he smirks.

You are so hot, so beautiful, he doesn’t want any other men to touch you. He wants to mark you to make you his but he also knows that a huge hickey on your neck will not be great for your career. So he decides to put his mark somewhere only him can see. You feel his mouth sucking on the skin of your left breast, close to your heart. It hurts a little but it’s a delightful hurt. Jungkook takes the time to admire his art piece - he has never created something so beautiful. The red, purplish mark is shiny because of his saliva and it looks so good on your soft skin.

"You’re so fucking hot" he says with a raspy and so sexy voice

However, your eyes spontaneously shut when Jungkook’s hand reaches your groin. His fingers find your clit in a second and start circle it through your panties.

"Oh my god!" You moan in his neck

It’s so good. So fucking good. It’s like you’ve never have been touched before. Your moans are louder as his fingers get faster. At this point, your panties are soaked by your juices - it could be kind of an unpleasant sensation if you could think.

"You’re so wet" Jungkook teases you while he kisses your neck

You are feeling your orgasm slowly building up in you but the emptiness in your pussy is torture. You need something to fix that.

"Please"

It’s the only thing you manage to say with a choked voice.

"Please what?" Jungkook smirks

He knows damn well that you can’t concentrate enough to speak properly and he is filled with pride that the reason is himself. Seeing how you are going crazy under his touch is so fucking satisfying. The most important, the only mission in his life right now is to make you cum. He leaves your neck to kiss your body all the way down until he reaches your wet pussy.

"I think we should take this off" he says while trapping the fabric of your panties with his forefinger

He looks up at you to have your approval.

"Yes, please" you moan, looking away with embarrassment of Jungkook being so close to your intimacy.

What you don’t know is that your shaky ‘please’ turned him on so fucking bad. He loves having control during sex, even being a little dominant. Fulfilling his desires without even knowing it makes him want to please you even more. So he slides your soaked panties down your legs and opens your thighs. The sight is breathtaking: your cunt is glistening with your arousal. He wants to taste you, you make him hungry. He gently rubs two fingers from your clit to your entrance before diving onto your pussy with his mouth.

He gives a single kiss on your clit at first and the feeling is so fucking good that you immediately grab his hair in a desperate need of holding on to something to not sink into this unbearable pleasure. Your fingers in his black strands give him the green light to go further. His tongue is now completely attached to your pussy. He is literally making out with it. He is so good with his mouth. Your clit is taken care of like it deserves. His tongue rolls around your bud, then takes a quick strip from your entrance to your clit and rolls again. It’s a perfect pattern and it makes you go crazy. The wetness created by his saliva and your own arousal is full of sins and pleasures.

"Oh my god, Jungkook!"

You feel your orgasm coming and your fist clenches as much as your pussy. Jungkook notices it and enters your pussy with his finger. This friction in your body is exactly what you needed. He pulls in and out at a pleasant pace with his digit. Your brain is foggy, you don’t even know where you are, you don’t even hear your own moans. All you can feel is him.

"More, more!" Is all you can say

He adds another finger, sightly speeding up the back-and-forth’s pace, his tongue still playing with your clit.

"You taste so fucking good, I could eat you all day"

His words reasoning on your pussy is too much to bare and you cum on his face and on his two fingers in you, screaming his name. The best fucking orgasm of your life. Your legs quiver when you reach your climax. But what did you expect from Jungkook? He was your best kiss, it’s only natural for him to make you cum like nobody had done it before.

It takes you a few seconds to catch your breathe and to settle down back on Earth. Your cheeks, even red before, are blushing harder when you realize that you just let your crush eating you out. It takes you a lot of courage to look down to meet Jungkook’s face between your legs. You see his mouth and chin glistening with your juice. The view is sinful. But he defies even more the limits of hotness allowed when he puts his fingers into his mouth to taste more of your cum. You gasp at the indecent teasing.

Jungkook goes up to your face and kisses you. You taste yourself on his mouth and you have to say that it’s hot.

"Are you okay?" He asks you gently

His consideration is a dangerous weapon for your heart. Fortunately, you're still too much in the frog of pleasure to overthink it.

"Yes. It-It was really good" you whisper, blushing.

Jungkook’s pride is beyond clouds when he saw how strong was your orgasm because of him. He wants to be the one that makes you cum the most, the only one that makes you cum. Because you are so pretty, so hot when you reach your high, he wants to be the only one who witnesses it. He wants to fuck you so hard that you won’t ever be attracted to another man. His possessiveness is killing him. You are messing with his brain and you don’t even know it. You are crushing down all his boundaries.

"I, uhm, I want to please you too" you say shyly

Jungkook is amused by your shyness when he just made you cum. But he is also touched that you care about his pleasure. He can’t deny that his cock is really hard and that he would love to release the tension in his body. But he doesn’t want you to feel obligated to return the favor. He didn’t touch you to have something in return, he did it because he wanted to see your cute face torn in pleasure, a pleasure provided by him.

"You don’t have to, Y/N" he says with a small peck on your lips

He helps you sit correctly on your couch, and the leaking between your legs make you wince. But not as much as his answer. Doesn’t he want you to touch him? Does he think you won’t please him? You feel a dragger in your heart, and maybe in your pride also. Jungkook frowns when he notices your expression darkens.

"It’s not that I don’t want to" he feels the need to tell you "Because, believe me, I want to. You make me fucking hard. But you don’t have to, you don’t have to feel obligated"

He cups your cheeks and you see the sincerity in his eyes. Rather than pushing you off, it makes you want to please him stronger.

"I want to" you simply say

The determination in your voice startles him a little bit because a new wave of arousal rushes through him.

"Okay" is the only thing he finds to say

You put your delicate hand on his stretched crotch, feeling him hard and big through the fabric of his pants. You can’t deny that it makes you horny. Jungkook’s body tenses, watching carefully your movements to detect any sign of displeasure and stop you in this case. But he only sees the way you blush and bit your bottom lip. So fucking cute, he thinks. He waits for you to express by your actions your want to get rid of his pants. He doesn’t want to rush you and let you be in control of the pace, even if it’s like a torture for him: he has been hard for a long time now.

When you grab the hem of this pants, he gets the message and rises his hips to slide down his piece of clothing. The bulge of his black underwear shocks you a little bit: he is fucking big. Your reaction makes him cocky, he knows he’s big - a lot of women already told him that - but now he wants you to think that. He wants you to think about how his cock would fill your tight pussy. The thought of it makes his hard member twitch.

"You’re doing great, babe"

The pet name makes your pussy clench and your heart beat faster. You also feel proud and more confident so you increase the speed, putting the right pressure. Jungkook’s breathing gets more and more rugged, you can tell that he likes it. He grabs firmly - but not too harshly to not hurt you - your hair and pull you closer. He kisses you ruthlessly, his tongue meets yours. You moan at his sudden ardent desire. And this is what he wanted: hearing your sweet whimpers while you jerking him off. Your hand on his cock and your mouth on his lips are a dangerous combination for his sanity.

"You’re perfect, so fucking perfect" he says against your pretty mouth "Keep going, you gonna make me cum, babe"

Babe.

Once again, it fills you with indescribable sensations - physical sensations and other sensations that you push away to not overthink. You keep sliding up and down your hand on Jungkook’s fat cock, your arm is beginning to hurt but you don’t stop. Making him feel good is so fucking satisfying. You being the reason of the orgasm of such an attractive, hot, handsome man messes up your bain - and your wet pussy.

"I’m cumming" Jungkook says in a gasp

"It was perfect" he says with a soft smile.

#bts jungkook #bts #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #namjoon #jungkook #jungkook fiction #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jeon jungguk #fanfic

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gracegrove · 2 years

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Why Billy would like CrossFit - A Treatise

compound exercise programming that rotates around 3 categories: powerlifting, olympic lifting, and gymnastics.

arguably also includes a 4th: endurance training

mentally & physically grueling

got anxiety? got racing thoughts or want to quiet your mind for a bit? especially if mindfulness, sitting still, or any of that meditation stuff doesn't work so good for you? great. you're gonna be so damn busy counting reps and keeping track of movements you're not gonna have time to think of anything else. don't forget to breath out as you lift.

great outlet. come in feeling pent up? angry? sad, put out, etc. leave it all on the gym floor. put it all in the workout. you're gonna be exhausted and way too drained to carry that around by the time you're done. work out first thing in the morning have a great outlook. or work out at the end of the day to wash out all the bs that happened so you can sleep well.

skimpy outfits. don't matter the gender. crossfit is about speed and movement. the clothing is lacking and form fitting. nothing is going to constrict your lift. so much muscle. so much sweat. so much skin. loads of good looking people.

grunting, groaning, and the occasional primal scream. we're all here to lift heavy things. improve ourselves in some way. meet personal goals. maybe look cool while doing it too if we're lucky... but the longer the workouts get and the heavier the weights are... the more likely that an "AAHHHH" is gonna slip out when you're just a push away from getting that weight overhead.

bragging rights. getting to tell people you're in crossfit is a privilege all its own. and you can hold people hostage and tell them about your latest workout, your personal records, your training regimen.. your diet. all of it. because fuck it. if you're in crossfit you're a god damn athlete and no one can say otherwise. you can also whine constantly about how sore you are because you worked out so hard.... and that damn you need a massage so bad rn

community. going to a small local crossfit gym everyone's gonna know you. gonna greet you when you show up. say hi, just for the sake of being glad you came to the workout. the classes are small and intimate. you know everyone. you even know the people leaving the previous class and coming in to the one following yours. your fellow members are interested in you as a person and want to help support you in reaching your fitness goals as much as you do for them.

personal satisfaction. being able to build and see and feel yourself getting stronger. pushing yourself. having that yearning to try harder to see what you can really do. having that catharsis when you finish a workout with higher reps or heavier weight or a faster finish time than you had when you first tried it a year prior.

#am i just pushing my own interests and agenda here?#yes yes i am #but fuck it billy would like crossfit and you aint tellin me otherwise

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shadowbrightshine · 4 months

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I was looking for a name of an old teacher from my sophomore diary and I was very, very unhealthy with how I talked to myself. tw for me beating myself up and downplaying my anger. I found the time I had an autistic meltdown at school in a class I hated. A bunch of kids were purposefully triggering my movement tics and making it hard for me to write or type because of it.

Luckily by the end my mother set straight my theology. I'd been beating myself up about being angry and how God wouldn't want me to hate them. (I'm a Christian) She explained what Righteous anger actually is and that I wasn't sinning by being angry at them.

Not to also fandom tag but half of this sounds like something I could imagine Grace Chasity writing. Or my au of Tim. I was so stressed and upset. I'd never used a diary before and I had a mix of saying my feelings. Being dramatic, and bullying myself for what I wrote down in my private diary.

I have many moments in the diary like this, with me beating myself up and then making fun of myself, telling myself I'm just being dramatic and trying to get attention. When no one was reading but me. And the problem is I have a writer's mind, so for all I know I was playing it up, but this is how I felt. And that's what's important. I don't even know where this intense self deprication came from, because my parents are supportive and kind.

Idk, but it makes me sad to think about sophomore me writing this. I'm glad mom explained the actual theology to me though. Because I'd wrongly thought a few things about my Christian life and it was used, by me, to bully myself even further. I was still toxicly positive. Less so than when I was young, but it wasn't gone. I'm not saying it's completely gone now either.

Though I was justified in my anger towards those kids. I spent half an hour trying to work without trouble and they kept doing it because they thought it was funny to see my tics. It was really mean and really gross to do to anyone.

Transcript of the text for screen readers. sorry everyone for the long post please don't let it discourage you from reblogging it.

It’s 7th and 6th was a nightmare! The boys found out I twitch when people drag their computers over the table to make a screeching noise and they did it for half an hour. It was on purpose, I could hear them snicker every time my neck twitched sideways or my hands spasemed. I almost threw my book at them like 3 times on pure reflex. I eventually shouted at them to stop.

“Isn’t it funny making the autistic girl twitch!? I can hear you laughing every time my neck goes sideways or my hands twitch! It’s so funny to watch her unable to type because her hands shake too much! How funny right??” I think that’s what I said. Or something like that my head was spinning because I was so mad.

The teacher moved them back a row and me forward a row. I’m grateful but I shouldn’t need it! People should be decent enough to NOT PROVOKE THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED GIRL ON PURPOSE AND LAUGH ABOUT IT!!!

I hate them.

It’s not Godly, it’s not right to, but I hate them right now.

I hate (name), I know it’s him but I can never prove it so no consequences for any of the stupid boys. They can keep finding things that make me annoyed and do it over and over to make me react, and I keep trying to not react. I try, I last 30 minutes, and then I can’t do it anymore!

For months. I’ve been doing this for months. I’m sure this was just a bad day for me, maybe I’m more sensitive today.

I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT!!! I SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND NOT TORTURED FOR THEIR ENTERTAINMENT!

Sure I’m probably exaggerating. I’m just sensitive, I’m overreacting it’s not that bad blah blah blah!

No one says that to me, it’s my own self doubt.

I feel hurt. I want them to hurt, not physically I just want them to understand how mad they make me. I wish I’d hit them with the book. Just once. Let them know I’m not all bluff.

It’s so wrong to think. God forgive me for sinning like this but I want them to hurt for what they put me through every single day!

I don’t understand why I’m so fun to hurt.

They probably don’t even think about it. They don’t understand how upset I get. I’m good at hiding it. I hate letting them see me break down over something so stupid. I know I’m misspelling things but I’m also trying to listen to my teacher while I type this.

I must sound like such a baby.

I wish I wasn’t so easy to hurt. Just make a screech noise and look at the puppet girl twitch and shake and jitter around and be unable to do her schoolwork because she’s autistic.

They don’t even think about the autism, I know that.

But how do they find it funny? I don’t do anything to them! I only react to what they do. What did I do to make me such a fun little toy for all of them?

I want to cry right now.

God forgive me for wanting harm on my enemies. I feel like I give them so many chances, I try to be nice. I feel so lost. I can stand up for myself but they laugh at me. Violence is the only thing I can think of that would make them take me seriously. I don’t want to get in trouble with school or sin. But what can I do!?

How do you make them know I don’t want to be pushed around anymore! They don’t listen to me or the teacher, the principal can’t seem to make them stop.

How do I make them stop?

I can’t hurt them.

But that’s all I can come up with. There’s too many students for her to see what they do or hear them, and she can’t prove who did it and I can’t either. There’s nothing I can do that doesn’t involve hitting them!

Doing it now unprovoked would look crazy but I just want it to stop I’ve been doing this dance all semester and I’m sick of it!

Please don’t think I’m crazy I know this isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme. I know I shouldn’t be so angry about it it’s just been building inside me for so long.

I just want them to leave me alone. I’m being bullied and I can’t stop it.

God give me wisdom and the strength to NOT hit them today if I see them. If they do it tomorrow I might just start slapping!

Tuesday 5/10/22

So Mom set me straight about my Godly theology. Righteous anger isn’t just about the threatening of religious stuff, but also about things being actually wrong.

I’ve been thinking about this wrong, I’m not bad for wanting things to change, so my beating myself up in my diary was not in God’s name.

I need to read my Bible more, fix my theology.

But I feel so much better knowing I’m not a bad person. Mom says we’re all sinful, but seeing me grow up and seeing how upset I get about evening thinking of making others sad…she says I’m really trying to be a good person, and that’s all you can really do. We can have slip ups, God will forgive us.

So I can be mad at them and not be sinful doing it.

#shine post #grace chasity #sorry for the tag #christianity #past unhealthy behaviors #looking back at younger me #autism struggles #autistic rage #actually autistic #autism #tag your character #lmao?#I got set straight #I guess reblog if you want to let people know this is bad?#but also I was justified for being angry they were being jerks

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silverskye13 · 2 years

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read your tags about how doc is a hivemind of creepers... imagine him getting injured and a creeper trying to get someone to help like ren who is SO scared of the creeper, cowering and SO sure hes about to die... but then... the creeper just is like... follow me please <3 and leads him to doc....

Doc wakes up, and a thousand aches and pains wake with him, and then he promptly decides he wished he hadn't woken up at all. Respawn would've sucked, like really sucked, but it still would've been kinder than this.

He hates the new caves. Really, truly, he hates them. And now he has a reason to take it personally. Just as soon as he. Well. Hmm.

What a mess. He's a mess.

His head is still spinning, even though he's pinned to the ground, and the rocking movement is making him nauseous on top of everything else. On top of everything else. Between the skeleton that shot him, and the cliff edge he didn't see, and the dripstone below, and the spike now firmly punched through his cybernetics keeping him from moving, tacked to the floor like an insect in a specimen case. It hurts, as does the awkward way his legs landed tangled in each other, and the arm he's pretty sure is broken, and the arrow in his shoulder. His pride too, hurts, because a skeleton? Really? But wounded pride stings less than the redstone shock that occasionally spasms when his broken cybernetics try to function. It's hard to think, really, outside of being angry. It's hard to think outside of hurt, and how fuzzy his head is, and how badly the world is rocking. It's hard to make sense of his surroundings. His head can't decide if he's in some monster's jaws or a dripstone cave. He's dreaming, he could convince himself, ahm, you know, that he's dreaming. He'd rather be dreaming. He'd rather respawn. He'd rather this weren't happening--

There's something moving in his peripheral, and Doc tries to focus on it. One more hazy, gently rocking shape in the dark. It has a familiar silhouette. Doc, on the verge of passing out again, reaches out desperately towards it. He feels a brush on the edge of his mind, a haze of colors and shapes, of a mind that isn't reeling like his is, and its comfortable. The creeper approaches him in the dark, a black shape gently backlit by the red sparks of his broken cybernetics.

"I need help," he says, or he tries to. The words tumble past his lips barely above a whisper, a jumble of syllables that stick to his teeth. The creeper watches him quietly, and the soft colors and impressions of it's mind seem to tilt questioningly.

Doc passes out again.

Ren wakes up to the sound of someone screaming at him to move. He opens his eyes, sees the creeper darting towards him across the grass, and with a scream of his own and a spike of adrenaline, he's scrambling towards the open door of Giga Pies. Cub is there holding the door open, and Ren dives inside at a dead sprint. He skids to a stop on the floor at about the same time Cub slams the door shut, and Cub flinches back when the creeper, hot on Ren's heels, pounces at the door angrily. It shudders once, but Cub slams the lock on the deadbolt and it holds. The two of them are silent for a moment, breath held as the creeper outside hisses angrily... but it doesn't explode.

"Oh my god," Ren laughs from the floor, because the high from the adrenaline is already starting to crash, and he's shaking, and laughing seems like the better reaction out of the many available to him, "that was a close one my dude."

"No kidding," Cub laughs as well, and it's high-pitched and tense in a way that Ren can empathize with, "I thought you were a goner, dude."

"I almost was," Ren pulls himself to his feet shakily, and knocks some of the dust off his pant leg from the skid across the ground. "Jeez, note to self I guess. Don't fall asleep outside for any reason."

"Absolutely," Cub sighs, running his hands through his hair like he can sooth his nerves that way, "Man that thing was aggressive. It made a b-line right for you just as soon as it saw you. You tick off any creepers lately?"

Ren shook his head, "Not beyond the usual, I don't think. Maybe I'm just the first person it's seen around in awhile?"

Cub shrugs, checks the lock on the door one more time to make sure they're safe, and then turns to face Ren fully. Ren watches as his eyes slip immediately to a point above his right shoulder.

"We left the back door open."

Ren spins on his heel to look behind him, and is immediately met by the blur of bright green as the same creeper from before comes bursting through the open back door. Ren stares at it, mouth agape. It's head swivels in his and Cub's direction, crouches and pounces so quickly he hardly has time to register the motion. Then he's on the ground again, the heavy step of the creeper's foot weighing his shoulder down, and Ren holds his breath, waiting for the ripping explosion before the respawn. He screws his eyes shut.

Nothing happens.

Nothing happens, and the creeper is still standing on his shoulder, pinning him down, and he can hear Cub behind him, pressed against the locked door, his breathing panicked. Or maybe it's Ren's breathing he's hearing? It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell and he's confused because he isn't dead yet. Ren cracks one eye open and looks up. It's definitely a creeper pinning him down. Definitely a creeper. But he's still alive. And the white of Cub's coat is dancing in his periphery as he fiddles with the lock on the door, but he's too panicked to get it to work, and probably not looking at his hands anyway.

The creeper leans its face closer to him and hisses, low and deep in its chest, and Ren thinks, ah, finally all is right with the world. The creeper will explode and he'll respawn, devastated that he has to rebuild the interior of his shop. His heart is pounding in his ears, he can feel his pulse beneath the creeper's claws, and its going to suck to feel the explosion, and the respawn will be thoroughly unpleasant, but death is a temporary inconvenience.

The creeper, despite its hissing and leaning, doesn't explode. It stares down at him, and it makes a noise he's never heard a creeper make before. And then it just stands there, waiting.

Cub's fiddling with the handle stops dead. Ren blinks.

"I--" he stammers.

"What the hell?" Cub's voice is high and it echoes faintly, like there's magic there where it shouldn't be. Ren makes a mental note that when Cub is thoroughly terrified, the vex in him starts to come out a bit. The creeper hisses long, and it makes the noise again, and this time Ren can actually sort of place it. It's a jumbled mess, but he can clearly hear the word help.

"Is that--?"

"Doc?"

The creeper narrows its eyes at Ren, and he nearly convinces himself it looks pleased. It steps off of his shoulder and hisses again, and the words I need help in a voice that is very distinctly Doc's, wounded and in pain, tumble once again into the air. The creeper watches them expectantly, and when neither of them move, it begins to hiss again.

"No no, we got it! We got it!" Ren stammers quickly, finally managing to stumble to his feet, "I-- okay-- ohmigod-- okay-- where is he? I-- wait-- Cub come on."

He points at the creeper, "Uh... don't go anywhere."

Ren runs for his nearest chest, grabbing armor and blocks and a few tools, and Cub follows him, clinging to the wall to stay as far away from the creeper as possible. The two gear up and approach the creeper again, who regards them with an air of curious impatience. It surveys them for a moment, and then turns to prowl back out the way it'd come. Ren and Cub follow, surprised to see the creeper they had locked outside the front door was still standing there. It regards them with quiet contemplation in the same way the one they're following did, lilts out a hiss and a quiet help in Doc's voice, and follows them.

-------

Going caving with a creeper is... a nerve-wracking experience. And it only gets weirder the further they walk. Explosions would occasionally go off around them, an unlucky undead or spider running afoul of the creatures currently escorting Cub and Ren further through the cave. Creepers, as it turns out, have a use for their claws, and more than one zombie was scared off with just a swipe and a hiss. Creepers were good climbers too - of course they were, they could climb ladders, which was a fact Ren found incredibly unfair - and the creatures seemed annoyed with the clumsiness by which Ren and Cub stumbled through the caverns. Once one of their escort even nudged Ren from behind to keep him from tripping over, an encounter that left his heart racing at its disgruntled hiss, but he ultimately decided was kind of cute once he'd calmed down. The quiet was unnerving though, as was their number. They would turn a corner and there would be three creepers there, huddled and staring with dark eyes, watching them pass with mute judgement, a choir of glaring statues. One would walk up on them, and they'd only know it was there when it hissed help to them in the dark in a voice unnervingly like Doc's. They crouched among dripstone pillars, waiting to drop down on wandering zombies if they clamored too close. They skated around the sides of the caves, hunting for things to distract and kill. They hissed amongst each other, and Ren could almost pretend they were gossiping, passing along the word that he and Cub were not to be harmed.

"Man, I hate this," Cub says at length, startling Ren with the sudden sound of his voice, "Like, I thought the moon falling would be the scariest thing I ever saw. Or maybe evoker-vex stuff, if I thought about it, you know?"

"Yeah, my dude, I'm definitely right there with you," Ren laughs nervously, and one of the creepers standing against a nearby wall narrows its eyes at him, offended by the reminder its helping a player.

Ren has just about decided they're walking to the center of the earth when a red light sparking in the distance catches his attention. Then he and Cub are sprinting past their escort through the dark, clambering over dripstone stalactites to Doc's side. He's in rough shape, rough enough that Ren manages to feel a little sick at the amount of blood spilled, but they have a few health and regeneration potions, which will help. The worst of it by far is the stalactite that has managed to impale itself through Doc's prosthetic arm, and Ren can only be thankful it wasn't his physical arm, or he might have fainted himself trying to pry him off it. Cub takes it a better than he does, but he's a vex, so he's probably seen - and caused - more than his fair share of gnarly injuries. They work in a quiet rush, their audience of creepers clinging to the surrounding stalactites, watching with their now familiarly unsettling silence. It takes time, all their potions, and there's no way they can repair the redstone in the cave, but they do manage to get Doc awake and talking.

"Doc, my dude, since when did you have so many creeper friends?" Ren asked him when he was back on his feet again, draping Doc's arm over his shoulders to help him walk. Cub starts ahead of them, trying to find the easiest way for them to climb out the way they'd come. The creepers that had watched them are dispersing, and Ren can almost feel them disconnecting from each other, like so many light switches flickering off. Something like instinct, or maybe intuition, tells him that in a few minutes, or a few hours, they will be back to hostile mobs again, preoccupied only with spreading their spores and unintentionally griefing builds. For now they lay dormant, resting after the journey escorting help to Doc.

"I told you, didn't I?" Doc chuckles at him, and it's comforting to hear his voice in a way that isn't broken and pleading for help, "It's the hivemind, man."

#the barking writer #answering asks #anonymous #docm77 #rendog #cubfan135 #hermitcraft season 9 #hermitcraft fic #i'm sorry that was just a really fun prompt idea i had to #took a little longer than i thought it would but my brain is oatmeal right now so thats all fine

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iluvjakey · 2 years

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I'm having a hard time cuz of soobin

so I saw this

https://twitter.com/worththetroubl3/status/1517233062945468417?t=72nR6loByJw53PMI2ASIBA&s=19

& this https://twitter.com/worththetroubl3/status/1516846398758699015?t=72nR6loByJw53PMI2ASIBA&s=19

and now I'm thinking if it was soobin...Idk can you please write something about him? I'm getting crazyyyy

telepatía

warnings: mentions of sexting, video call sex, dirty talk, masturbation, pet naming.

pairing: idol!bf!soobin x chubby!gf!reader

a/n: thank god i'm not the only one that thinks soobin has such a big dick energy!!!!! :') ty anonnie<3

when the night falls, you know there's gonna be soobin in your dms. you had been dating him for a couple of months and as soon as you two started having sex, it didn't stop. he loves it so much, in every way. maybe it is because he was inexperienced before meeting you and suddenly have a cute girl ready to take his cock when he's about to pull down his pants is what his young needy mind desired the most all this time.

you don't complain at all; the sex was further than good that you never get tired of the new ideas he comes to you everyday. you haven't tried this certain position? he would definitely try it with you. always wanting to give you the best of the experiences; to make you beg for more, scream his name and praise him for being so good with you, rocking your own hips against either his long fingers, cock or pinky lips. it is a whole reward for him, and if it comes with love marks that his friends would ask him about, of course keeping the answers to himself, it boost his self-steem.

this day he's horny as usual, not keeping his hands off of himself, thinking of you and how good you're with your fingers on his length, on his mouth when you want him to be quiet, or his butt. he likes to touch himself, he can't help it. being far away from you since he's on tour is the hardest for him, luckily, sexting was another way to have sex and you're willing to help your needy bunny.

“are you shy, right now? c'mon baby~” he purred smiling at the screen, caressing his thighs when you're about to take off your shirt.

“someone's desperate, isn't it?”

“always, yes.”

“then take off your pants, bunny.” you get rid of your upper clothes. not wearing a bra made it faster for you and soobin was just adoring your breasts bouncing when the shirt was pulled out of your head, wanting to lick them already. “it's not cool when i'm the only one getting naked.”

“yes, uhh, sorry...” he muttered nervously, pulling down his ankles the grey sweatpants along with his soaked boxers.

your thighs pressed against each other when his angry and big cock got released from the clothed jail and it hit completely on his belly button, making you squirm a little for the friction. he giggled at the sudden movement, cheeks getting slightly pink for the both of you. you decided to show him more about you, lifting your skirt as your thick legs spreaded in front of the screen with your boyfriend watching every single thing you did.

his lower lip got stuck in his teeth, holding heavy breaths while his naughty hands touched the warm tip of his cock, covering the glans of it and going slowly while spreading the precum on his length. you continued to show him those cute panties, the ones that he uses to jerk off with when he's in your apartment, only quickening his moves chuckling charmingly at the friction down there and the pretty show you put on for him. just to see him your mouth started watering, how could he be so fucking hot?

“god, i miss you so bad.” you said to him, fingers digging in the skin of your thighs, spreading and teasing him. “need you right here.”

soobin started bucking up his hips on his hand stroking harder as his head was thrown backwards to the chair, definitely being vocal with him drives his senses crazy.

“i, ah—! i want you to face fuck me right now, y/n.” he moaned out loud carelessly, his friends should be probably out of the hotel room.

your fingers rubbed against your clothed clit, better than actual fingering unless they're soobin's. it made your back arch a little, listening to your boyfriend's wishes certainly did something on you. if it was in your hands, you would definitely go straight to his hotel room, but you had to conform with it, after all it wasn't that bad but you needed him so badly.

“i want you to fill me up with that big cock, ah—!”

“fuck— i will, baby.” his hand kept squeezing hard, gasping for breath.

your digits started drawing circles in your panties, closing your legs everytime your clit was getting well stimulated. soobin didn't stop the pleasure his hand was giving to himself, pumping tight as the other hand went down to caress his balls, drowning sweet moans with his teeth biting his lip. the more you see him, you felt good everywhere: from the top of your head to your toes curling, moving your fingers up and down the wet patch in your panties.

“soobin... ah! cum for me, baby.” you grunt at him.

he looks so pretty like this, that image of him stroking in a beastly way his thick length, thighs trembling as milky shots of his cum fall sticky on his belly. your fingers kept doing a beautiful rhythm with his moans hugging sweetly your ears, imagining he's right next you touching himself to tease you and then fuck you so good that it end up burning deliciously. the spams ran through your nerves, making you cum after soobin, his mischievous eyes not wasting any second of your incredible orgasm, all because of him.

“hmm~ that was so hot” the grin on his face was such a serve, he would make you cum in your panties again if it was for his look.

“you better be here soon.” you finally said, taking your phone to see him well.

“can't wait another week for me? looks like you know exactly what to do in my absence.”

#txt smut #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #txt moodboard #txt soobin #soobin hard thoughts #choi soobin smut #choi soobin

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