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#i am simultaneously scared and in love with you
hobisexually · 2 years
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#hi I am back with a long tag post about how I can’t keep up with life#very boring 30 year old stuff that I am struggling with very much and isn’t interesting to anyone#but I just put on my hobi playlist to feel better and instead sobbed so hard to just dance (which is a very happy song I don’t even enjoy)#that my pillow is soaked through so obviously sleep isn’t gonna happen until I get this out somewhere#so first. get this. one of my best and longest friends gets engaged and lets 1.5 months go by before she bothers to tell me#in front of four other friends who are decidedly less close to her but we all found out simultaneously.#Bad enough. you get confronted with the fleetingness of life and friendships and how everything changes even when you don’t want it to.#then. you talk it out. another friend’s dad just died. another one just bought a house and is moving away#engaged friend comes by again? And suddenly says she’s gonna get try to pregnant within the remainder of the year#and suddenly I’m hit with the fact that our friendship will never be TBE same and the life I thought we would live together is just not#gonna line up? We’re not gonna hit the clubs we’re not gonna go on adventures we’re not gonna paint the town red now that I’m a little bit#more chill re: covid. All of that? Gone. i thought I could make up for all of it but all my friends are in stages I’m not in#and with kids neber will be in? i won’t have a kid. i knew this but I didn’t /know/ this I won’t be able to follow#I’ll be aunt amber and I’ll love all their kids to the moon and back but I won’t follow. i know I don’t want kids#but I don’t think I thought about it before. what that would mean in relation to others#and I also just pictured myself with my own baby and though I don’t want it I never envisioned it and now I can’t stop crying#over the fact that I won’t have a baby. And it’s by choice yes but it doesn’t make it easy????????#I’m suddenly saying goodbye to a life I’m closing the door on and that’s. terrifying#and I’m so. so scared I’ll end up all alone and never find love or fulfilment#30 is great in terms of feeling calmer and knowing what you want bht this whole ………. this whole thing?#i HATE it I HATE it I can’t stop crying and I’m panicking I HATE IT#FUCK. CHANGE TRULY FUCK IT ALL#and FUCK everything the last two years have taken away from me and how low I was because of it and how hard my friendships got because of it#can I STOP crying now that would be GREAT
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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i love and cherish my armpit hair (which i realize is like. Smacks of Hella Basic White Feminism, except, you know, possibly a little more complicated when it's for very extremely trans reasons), but the fact that it's so blond and wispy as to be almost invisible in photos is a serious disappointment to me every time
#if i could wave a wand and get fuzzier armpits i for sure would#non-vellus thigh/stomach hair ditto#chest hair is scarier but also pretty interesting#lotta uncertain confused feelings abt like. what changes i would and wouldn't want exactly#and of course the reality is that you can't really pick and choose#but like. being a fuzzier creature... wistful face#love my fuzzy calves a LOT. like. visually good‚ tactilely extremely good. comforting and satisfying to run my hands along.#like. idk. there's the piece of Gender that's abt perception and there's also the piece that's like. the body you wanna inhabit#i sort of feel like. i wanna be a boy in a girlbody and i wanna be a girl in a boybody#and like. you can't really do both those things simultaneously#(i mean like. you can if yr defining yr terms differently‚ which wld be valid)#(and i don't really totally endorse the way i'm using language here but like. ykwim)#anyway boy-in-girlbody mode is obvs easier to access given the givens‚ but#that mode has girl-in-boybody-mode body hair envy#anyway all of this is like. such rarefied world-of-pure-imagination stuff and it's like. is anyone even willing to meet me there tbh#maybe. outside chance of it. but am *i* willing to meet *them* there and to *ask* to be met there. ouf idk. scary scary scary vulnerable#and then of course i feel like feeling scared and shy is Intrinsically Feminine of me which is SO extremely bullshit#for so many reasons incl that every man i know and love is scared and shy sometimes if not often#(also incl. that plenty of women are confident and/or outgoing! which i feel like is more self-evident as an assertion but.#never hurts to both-sides yr objections to binarist stereotypes so yr not just centering men)#but it just feels like. do you remember those bodycon dresses years ago that had like. a smaller curvier silhouette on them#so there'd be like. the wearer's actual body & then the smaller curvier imagined body carved out of theirs by the colorblocking of the dress#and i feel like. there's whatever the essential 'me' is or was and then like. the more-feminine shape they got traumatically carved into#and now it's just like. any moves i might wanna make‚ i gotta make with the carved-up psyche that's the only psyche i've got#and it just immediately intrinsically undermines anything i might try#anyway. idk. these tags have gone a LOT of different places lol i just. mrrrh.#maybe the actual thing to do is worry less abt gender possibilities and more abt getting physically stronger. cultivate meatiness#good for all genders#anyway uh. apologies for the 4 AM spiral lol#embodiment (is violence)
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d1anna · 1 year
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@ PRETTY BALLET GIRL! DO YOU LIKE GIRLS???? LIKE ME?????
#i saw her backstage after we performed and i could have stood next to her but i was like.......#i am not worthy............ i'll stand in the corner even though there's space </3#like literally i looked up her name to find her instagram#i found her linkedin instead and she's a biomedical engineering major and working at this major tech company (like WORKING not INTERNING)#she's so accomplished 😭😭 simultaneously envious and in awe and in love ok...…#on a slightly different note i haven't had a crush like this on a girl in a while#i always try to suppress my crushes on girls because i always feel like i'm being (internalized) creepy (homophobia)#like even backstage today it was all girls and some of them were changing and i was like looking everywhere but where#people were standing#i felt so self-conscious … like i always get scared that someone will notice my...…..gayness lol#also like her staring at me while she was dancing and like stealing glances at me every now and then made me feel even more self-conscious#i swear i have a gaydar until it comes to girls i'm attracted to#I JUST DON'T WANT TO ASSUME AND LIKE........MAKE TROUBLE YOU KNOW (INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA ALERT!!!!!!!!!)#having crushes on boys is so much easier because i typically don't care for them as much lol#it's hard to explain but i find guys physically attractive but i rarely find them actually romantically attractive#most of the time the prospect of being in an actual REAL relationship with men repulses me or at the very least gives me indigestion#i don't know............ anyway i'm kind of on a sugar high from one (ONE) cookie that i ate after dinner#it was really good but i had two yesterday as well and it gave me a bad sugar crash after my parents and i went to this park#knocked out for two hours after we got back to our hotel#and then we went to this venezuelan restaurant and it was AMAZING#i had an arepa and an empanada con queso with fosforera soup (gorgeous)#i want more it was so good#so sad i have to go back to my rotation of the same four meals now that my parents have gone back home lol#dianna.moon#also i could have broken up this post instead of writing everything in the tags but i do what i want
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dotster001 · 7 months
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Meeting Their Future Kids With You
Summary: Vil/Idia/Crewel/Crowley/Malleus/Rook x gn! Reader. A child suddenly appears. And it seems to have a connection to you? Requested by @stygianoir
A/N: It's in my pinned post, and I've mentioned this in a couple posts, but if this is the first of my stuff you've read, I view NRC as an actual college, so reader here is 18+. If it makes you more comfy, imagine it as grad school age.
CW: spreading my asexual Malleus agenda, especially now that I've been spoiled for the fact that the dragon lays an egg and all it needs is love to hatch. ASEXUAL MALLEUS CAN NOW BE CANON Y'ALL!!!! Anyways...his kid is the only one with physical descriptors, so do with that what you will 😅
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Something was wrong. There was a presence at Ramshackle that shouldn't be there. Could it be? Could someone be trying to steal you from him? No! He had only just started courting you! It wasn't fair. 
He poofed into your sitting room and froze. 
You were snuggling what looked like…a small version of him?
You looked up and your jaw dropped.
"Wait, I thought this was you!" You looked back down at the kid who giggled and made grabby hands at Malleus.
"Daddy!"
Ah! Yes, he understood now. Draconia genes were strong. This child clearly was barely old enough to even hold a human form, it was not out of the realm of possibility that it had accidentally used a time travel spell. Perhaps that was even the child's unique magic.
He walked over to the child in your arms, scooped it up, and gave it a soft kiss between the two tiny horns emerging from their head.
"It's wonderful to see you, but it's time to go home, little one."
The child nodded sagely and vanished in a puff of green smoke. You looked at him in complete confusion, but he simply laughed, repeating his kiss, but this time to your forehead.
He knew you were his soulmate.
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He knew with a single glance. The familiarity the twin girls before him held in their gazes, the way they carried themselves, the hats on their heads. Everything screamed his influence.
And though that didn't make any sense, Rook knew his eye and his instincts were never wrong.
But there was something about the girls that was distinctly…..
"Rook! Hi- aw shit, please tell me you didn't kidnap some kids!"
So distinctly you.
The two girls shared what, to anyone but Rook, would seem like an unsettling smile as you approached the silent scene.
"Non non, they are just passing through, oui, petites fleur's?"
"Oui," they said simultaneously, grinning at you, their eyes taking in your every facial twitch.
"Uh, okay? Relatives of yours?"
"One could say that."
All three of them laughed, leaving you confused and a little frightened.
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It was a normal day like any other. Searching for Epel who had once again fled his lessons.
And he had found him in the worst possible place. A mud pile with an already very muddy teenage girl.
Epel splashed the girl with a childish giggle, and she laughed hysterically.
"Papa was right, you were crazy!" She giggled making a mud ball and throwing it at him.
He dodged and it hit Vil.
"Ah shit," she whispered under her breath. But after a second of reflection, she grinned. "Wait, why am I scared? You're not the boss of me."
Vil glared, and she suddenly looked apologetic again.
Both Epel and the girl stared at the ground, completely avoiding eye contact.
"What school are you from?" Vil snapped at the girl.
She snickered but said nothing.
"Who do I report you to?"
She laughed louder. "Nah, I don't have to tell you shit."
"Language," he snapped, and tears filled her eyes.
"It was all uncle Epel's fault. I told him I didn't want to play in the mud, but he made me do it!"
"You absolute rat!" Epel shouted, picking up some mud and preparing to throw it.
Vil cast a quick spell, freezing both of you in place. He stormed over and snatched each of your wrists, preparing to storm off with the two trouble makers in tow, when he saw the shimmering gold bracelet on your wrist. Engraved on it was L/N-Schoenheit.
He stared for a moment, then groaned.
"Epel, remind me to never let you around my future child."
"He's my godfather," the girl grinned impishly, and Vil felt a part of himself die.
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"Excuse me, I'm looking for my dad. You look like you could be related to him."
Idia knew he shouldn't have left his room today. All he wanted was a snack, and to maybe see you if you happened to not be in a class right now, and now this extroverted teenager was asking about his dad.
What the absolute fuck?
He quickly pulled out his ipad, typing something about how anyone related to him wasn't worth finding, when the twerp yanked the iPad out of his hands.
"Nevermind, I figured it out," the kid snorted. "Hi dad!"
Idia started stuttering. Not only was this twerp an extroverted teen who stole his iPad, he was also insane.
"Nah, nah, not today, not today…" Idia started muttering under his breath.
The kid rolled his eyes.  
"Forgot about this part. Guess they really did change you for the better," he started typing something on his watch, and a hologram popped up, showing the kid, you, and Idia…? Your and Idia's faces were a bit more lined than they were right now but….it was definitely you.
He stared at the hologram, his hair turning a bright red. 
"Oh! Hey Idia!" Your voice called from behind him.
He turned and waved to you shyly, then turned back to the teen. But he was gone.
And the damn boy stole his iPad.
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If his hair wasn't already dyed, those two freshmen would have given him gray hair by now.
Once again, they'd made a potion explode in his classroom. And once again, the fallout would be a pain to clean up.
Where you had once sat was a small child. A small child who was looking at him expectantly.
"Well?" She asked.
At first he had assumed this small child was your child form. But no. She looked nothing like you. Though, she did have a similar glint in her eye.
"Who are you?" He asked softly, not wishing to scare the child with the rage that was building up inside him. He'd told you again and again that your friends were trouble, and now look where it got you.
Wait. Where exactly were you?
Before the girl could speak, a red smoke filled the room, and a him with a few more wrinkles appeared, dragging you by the wrist. Your face was covered in a vicious pout.
"I already told them," future Crewel said, eying the freshmen with a vicious glare. "No need to repeat it."
He opened his arms in front of the little girl, a warm smile taking over his features, as the girl climbed into his arms, snuggling into him. He pointed at you and the freshman one more time, said, "Behave." And vanished into red smoke.
Present day Crewel pinched the bridge of his nose, and pointed at you.
"He already said it," you snapped,punching Ace in the shoulder for good measure.
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"Morning dad."
"Morning," Crowley muttered tiredly as he sipped his coffee.
Then he choked on it. There should be no one in his office right now. And there should be no one calling him dad.
He looked over and saw a kid who was somewhere between the age of 10 and 13 sorting through his stack of paperwork.
"Pardon me, but do you mind explaining what you're doing?"
The kid looked up and raised a brow in confusion.
"Um, morning paperwork?" He laughed nervously. "Wait did you forget that….uh, nevermind, I'll just go then."
The kid hastily made the papers into a pile, grabbed a backpack, and started to hustle out of the office. Only to be stopped when he bumped into you as you were storming into the office.
"Crowley! You promised you'd fix my goddamn roof!"
"Dad said I wasn't grounded anymore!"
Both of you shouted over the top of each other, and then stared in confusion.
The kid sprinted out of the office, knocking you over in the process.
Dire, meanwhile, released a delighted giggle, his face feeling warm as he grinned at you with a lovesick grin. Only to be annoyed as you brought up your roof again.
"If you excuse me, I have other things to attend to. I assure you that child will only cause trouble."
He ran out of his own office, no intention of actually finding his future son, only intending to hide from you.
Too bad you could always see through him, and were right on his tail.
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sarawritestories · 3 months
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can I request an Az x reader fic with lots of hurt/comfort vibes? maybe they are out on the town and they run into the readers ex who was not very nice to her and she gets scared and az goes into protective mode? thanks thanks thanks!!
My Wife. My Mate. My World
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Azriel X Plus Size F Reader
A/N: Thank you for this request! This just felt fitting to have as a plus size reader I hope that's okay! This is also my first time writing for Az and I hope I did him justice for you!
Summary: Azriel and You are in your home Court of the Summer Court. When you run into your ex, the confidence you spent a long time building was shredded and your Mate was more than happy to remind you how amazing you were.
Content Warning: 18+ Minors DNI, Depictions of verbal abuse and slight (Briefly), slight fat shaming, low self esteem, fluffy ending
Masterlist
Word Count: 2.6k words
It was a beautiful day in your home court, Summer Court, your hair was up in a curly bun and a loose cobalt dress that had a crisscross design on the front and two high slits. The dress accentuated your curves and was one of your favorites. You didn’t bother with jewelry as shadows were always swirling around your arms and in the blazing summer heat their cool touch was a welcome reprieve.  A Hand wrapped around your waist as you walked through the beach, “I love you, in Night Court attire, but you are a goddess in Summer Court dresses.” Azriel whispered causing you to giggle.
“Azriel, you have said that when we are in every other court except for the Spring Court, and you also say that I am a goddess with no clothes on at all.” I tuck myself into his side, “I’m beginning to think I could wear garbage and you would call me a goddess.”
Azriel kissed the top of your head. “You would make quite divine garbage, Angel.” You rolled your eyes and elbowed him though he was quick and gripped your arm spinning you around while simultaneously taking your legs out from under you with his own. The next thing you knew your back was pressed against the warm sand and the shadowsinger was on top of you pinning your arms above your head with one hand. His wings flared up to block the sun rays, so you weren’t squinting. He had a playful smirk on his face, “Violence is never the answer, my love.” There was a twinkle in his eye as his face lowered to yours.
“Says one of the most feared spymaster and warrior in all of Prythian.” You murmured before his lips were on yours. The kiss makes your toes curl but every kiss he gives you has that effect ever since your first date, it only intensified when the mating bond snapped for both of you. He slipped his tongue in your mouth, and you moaned and arched your back yearning for more friction.  He pulled away causing you to groan in protest. He chuckled and pushed off you standing and dusting the sand off his knees.  You glared at him, “You’re cruel, Shadowsinger,” he laughed and held out his hand, you grasped it the scars bringing comfort on your skin.
Azriel lifted you up and gripped your waist bringing you close kissing your nose, “Listen I’m not trying to get a bloodstone because of public nudity. Rhys would kill us both.” His hand grazed down to your plump ass and squeezed, “When we get home though,” he continued to grope and, in a flash, slapped your tender flesh causing you to gasp as his lips grazed the shell of your ear, “I will happily show you how cruel I can be.”
You could feel the heat rise from your neck to your cheeks, “Is that a promise?”
He was about to respond when a familiar voice rang in your ears, “Y/N? Is that you?” Your body stilled and shadows swirled around my body anxious from the shift. You turned and were met with a familiar set of eyes. The male was in the Summer Court army uniform his gold skin compliment
You pulled away from Azriel and he let you to fully face your ex, “Micah, what a pleasant surprise.” You gave him a grin, but Azriel as he moved to your side his wings tucked in tightly.
Micah gave you a tight lip smile, “For sure, I heard you were in the throws of the Night Court.” He looked over to where your mate his cold assessing gaze.  Azriel’s relaxed demeaner shifted, he widened his legs, crossed his arms and made sure that one wing curved around you.
Micah opened his mouth and with a familiar glint in his eye you gripped Azriel’s arm. “Where are my manners? Micah, this is Azriel, my mate. Az, this is Micah, an old friend of mine.” Rage flared briefly in his gaze at your choice of words. “Darling, could you give us a minute?” you looked over at my mate, who’s hazel eyes met yours his brow quirked, “Just going to catch up, I’ll meet you at the café, okay?” Azriel met Micah’s gaze who puffed his chest out and you rolled your eyes.
Azriel pressed his lips to your forehead. “You sure?” he whispered, you gave him a nod and he gripped your face in your hands, and he crushed his lips to yours letting the kiss linger for a minute longer, and with a wary glance over the other male, he made a few stepped backs and took to the skies. A cool shadow still swirled around your wrist sliding up your arm and around your neck.
Micah held out an arm and I slipped my hand through his I felt his hand instantly flexed. “So, you fuck vermin now?” I scowled at him, and he laughed and continued, “You really had to scrape the bottom of the barrel, huh?”
You gritted my teeth, “Watch your fucking mouth, Micah,” trying to focus on your feet sinking into the sand.
Micah proceeded, “Why did you leave, Y/N?” He feigned sadness and you saw right through it. “We were so good together.” He took a moment to look me up and down, “Though you, don’t look nearly as radiant as you did when you were sinking into my cock.” His arm moved and snaked around my waist, his hand gripped the flesh and my body tensed. “They clearly do not treat you the way you deserved. With discipline.” I didn’t even notice my shadow fleeing.
You closed your eyes and tried block out his words, but you were sent back to that time before the Night Court took you in.
“Get out of my house,” Micah gritted out. The blonde soldier in his bed scrambled to get clothes on as the male placed his arms behind his head arrogance seeping out of his pores as the female fled and bumped into you fleeing the house you shared. “Enjoy the show, Princess.”
You wanted to be heartbroken by this, but you had suspected him of being unfaithful. I crossed my arms and leaned on the door frame, “How long?”
He snorted and decided to rise from the bed, “Does it matter? You’re not going to leave.”
Anger began to bubble up, “Oh really? Why is that?”
Micah approached with predatory grace and gripped my chin tightly. “Because I’m the only one who will give you the time of day. I mean you and I both know you’re plain looking,” He looked down at my body, “Your body is subpar, and you are lucky that I put up with you.” He pressed his thumb that smelled of the female he was with on my bottom lip and propped my mouth open. I knew what he wanted me to do. “You going to be a good girl or are we going to need to punish you.” I closed my mouth over his thumb and sucked, tears did fall of humiliation. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, “So here is what’s going to happen, you are going to be my pretty little doll for all events, and we’ll go on dates, and I will fuck anyone in our shared bed I please.”
A hand patting my cheek brought me back to the present, “Ah, good you’re back.” Micah smirked. “Were you thinking about me, Princess.” Uncomfort began to settle in my bones, and I sent that feeling down the bond as Micah pinned me against his chest.
With a thud and a cloud of sand blue siphons radiated through the smoke. Emerging from the cloud Azriel’s shadows swirled around and ready to attack. Rage filled those hazel eyes of his. “Get. Your. Hands. Off. Her. Now.” His voice was ethereal the shadows giving it a haunting cadence and it entranced you.
 Micah only tightened his grip on the order, and you yelped Azriel snarled. “Well look at that, Y/N you found someone who would be willing to kill, for your mediocrity.” You flinched as you met the shadowsinger’s eyes. His Hazel irises softened as he watched the verbal blow land. Though in a flash they steeled into calm rage as shadows leaked from his body and wrapped around you again bringing comfort.
Micah ignored the lethal man in front of him, “I mean maybe your Cunt is not so medio-“Azriel’s fist collided with the male’s face and he released his gripped on you. You wrapped your arms around Azriel’s neck and inhaled his scent.
“I got here as quickly as I could,” The High Lord of the Summer Court’s voice broke through the chaos on the beach. “Y/N, are you okay?” You turned to face him, Azriel’s hand splayed across your stomach soft circles rubbing my stomach.
“I’m fine, Asshole never knew when to shut up.” You muttered, your brows furrowed, “How did you know?”
“Azriel’s shadows alerted us something was wrong with one of our Soldiers and a member of a different court.”
You leaned into Azriel’s chest his hand holding you protectively, your head resting at his shoulder, “You never went to the café did you,” his shadows sputtered around me as if trying to confirm my theory.
He pressed his lips on your hair line, “The shadows that love you so much didn’t trust him, so I didn’t go far.”  He looked at Tarquin, “Will he be taken care of?”
Tarquin nodded, “Yes he will, we don’t take lightly to our soldiers manhandling civilians, especially when they hail from a different Court.” He looked at you, “I know this was once your home, I always want you to feel welcome here. I’m so sorry for Micah’s behavior.”
You crossed my arms around my body, “Micah has always been like that, but I appreciate you handling this for me.”
Tarquin nodded and walked to the other sentries that were hauling a knocked-out Micah away.
Azriel nuzzled his nose in your neck taking in your scent, “Would you like to go home?” He whispered.
               You closed my eyes, “Please.” Azriel pressed his lips to your neck and shadows erupted around the two of you and then you were in our town home that you built after you had your mating ceremony.
You pulled away from your mate and gave him a tight smile, “I’m going to hop in the bath get the sand out.”
Azriel smiled, “Want me to join you, worship you like the goddess you are.”
You shook your head, “Sorry, my love, I’m not in the mood.” You cupped his face and gave his free cheek a kiss.
He furrowed his brow and watched as you walked to your shared room and went into the bathroom.  In a few moments’ time you were in the bathtub and thinking back to everything Micah had said.
Your body is subpar, and you are lucky that I put up with you.
Did Azriel feel that way?
You’re plain looking.
Azriel always said you were his goddess, was he lying. Micah always lied and told me how beautiful I was.
Hours went by and you barely moved out of the bath and there was a soft knock on the door, Azriel poked his head in as you were staring at your knees. “Angel.” The spymaster walked into the room, closing the door behind him, and leaned against it. “You’ve been in here for hours.” You met his gaze, and he inhaled sharply as he felt worthlessness down the bond. In only a few strides he was by your side and gripping your hand, “Talk to me.”
Tears began to resurface as you faced your mate, “I’m sorry, Az.”
Azriel’s brows furrowed. “For what?” He was stroking the top of your hand with his thumb.
“For not being a good enough mate for you.” Azriel’s eyes flashed with pain but were gone in an instant. “You deserve someone better than me.” Tears were falling down your face and your breathing began to quicken, “I’m not worth-“
Azriel gripped the back of your neck and pressed your forehead against his and your eyes fluttered closed. “Shhh, enough of that.” He pressed a kiss on your forehead that was so tender, and he sent love down the bond like a caress on your soul. “Let’s get you clean up.” Azriel grabbed soap and a rag and began washing your body and massaging your hair. He was whispering sweet little nothings in your ear as he cleaned the sand and dirt from the day.
When he was done, he helped you out of the tub and wrapped you in a towel, his shadows bringing in your favorite nightgown that was the same blue as Azriel’s siphons. “Arms up.” You lifted your arms, tears still flowing down your cheeks.
Once the nightgown hugs your skin you wrap your arms around yourself, and the cool touch of the shadows yank my arms apart and your brows furrowed. “They don’t like you hiding,” His hands met yours and the comfort of his scars kissing your skin the shadows slithering between both of your hands. “I don’t like it either.”
He led you to your shared bedroom and led you to the full-length mirror. His shadows swirling around your neck and through your hair giving you some light kisses. He rubbed the top of your arms and left soft kisses on your bare shoulder. His hazel eyes met yours in the mirror, “Tell me, Angel, what do you see?”
You took a deep shaky breath, “I see me.” He casts a look toward you, causing you to bite your lip. “I see a plain, large woman who isn’t a warrior like Feyre or Nesta, Or beautiful like Gwyn or Elain.”
Azriel wrapped his arms around your torso, his fingers digging into your soft skin and gave your shoulder a soft bite, eliciting a moan from you. “You want to know what I see?” I nod and he presses you closer to his chest and sways back and forth as he looks at your reflection. “I see a strong female, that fought and lived though a war. I see a kindhearted female, who took it upon herself to make her best friend’s mate comfortable just so she didn’t feel alone,” You smile thinking of the first time you met Ferye. “I see a loving female, who saw the mangled hands of a broken male and decided to kiss every scare telling him that you want to place good memories on those scars to erase the bad ones.”
Your hand founds his and gave him a squeeze as tears streamed down before he turned you around to face him, he tucked the wet strands of hair behind your ear, “I see a female, who is powerful because she was brave enough to leave an abusive situation with someone who did not appreciate or respect all the amazing things, I adore about you.” He wiped the tears from your cheeks and kissed you passionately for a moment and when he pulls away, he keeps your face close to his. “I love you, Y/N. Your smile almost made me fall to my knees in praise.” You laughed and you could see his eyes light up at the sound. “My Wife, My Mate, my world, is anything but mediocre. You are amazing and I thank the Cauldron everyday that it brought you to me.” He kissed your nose, “My beautiful.” A kiss to my lips, “Kind,” Another kiss, “Passionate,” another kiss, “Sexy,” he growled, and I smiled, “Mate.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, “I love you, Az.” You kissed his lips and Azriel’s hands slid down to grip your plump ass, “Now I do recall you saying something about worshiping me-“ You couldn’t finish your statement before Azriel scooped you in his arms and put you to your bed and spent all night showing you just how amazing he thought you were.
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ajokeformur-ray · 5 months
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The breeze seems to whisper 'I love you' // Astarion x gn!reader / Tav
This is my first Astarion fic so I really hope I bring him justice; he deserves that and everything else which is good in life. It took me three days in total to fall head over heels for him, and this piece is dedicated to @ace-tarion for being such a sweetheart in this, as in everything. I love you, dude!❤️
I haven't played BG3, I know maybe 80% of the plot (tadpoles in brain = bad = travel to Baldur's Gate), I've watched a ton of Astarion clips, so apologies for any inaccuracies or inconsistencies. I'm just here for Astarion (though I'd love to play BG3, I don't have any technology capable of running it💔).
Content: You/Tav x Astarion (established relationship), canonical past for Astarion is hinted at and laced within narrative, cuddles, animals referred to as 'snacks' within mentions of Astarion (only a mention; no actual description of animal-feeding/mentions of anything pertaining to animals being fed on).
Summary: Night-time falls, your heart sinks into your stomach as surely as your body sinks into your bedroll, and you want cuddles from Astarion.
Word count: 1, 624.
I am accepting requests for Astarion ❤️ no smut and no pregnancy/birth/kids!!
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You lay on the cold, hard ground. The earth is unforgiving, soaking up the day's sweat without offering any kind of reprieve. Stones and hard clumps of dirt dig into your back through the bedroll, the wind is slightly too cold and it penetrates your thin blanket, haphazardly thrown over you in an attempt to ward off the elements.
Everyone has a tent, except you, and you make it a point to lay as close to the fire as you can on the nights Astarion is out hunting; it wouldn't do to help yourself to his tent. He keeps his tent away from the others, though still adhering to the semi-circle layout chosen by the others around the campfire. He would not mind you letting yourself in to his tent, he would likely welcome returning to you there, and yet you cannot justify it even to yourself.
After two hundred years of shit, pure shit, he deserves every ounce of privacy and the security of knowing his tent is his own.
You sit up just enough to shuffle yourself closer to the fire, curling inwards as a shiver wracks your body. It isn't cold, necessarily, but your temperature is not conducive to a restful sleep. You lay on your back, gazing up at the stars which punctuate the sky, breaking up the inky black and blues with pinpricks of white, yellow, and some dull spots of grey from the stars which died many eons ago and are now fading from the sky.
You promise yourself you'll try to remember their placement in the sky.
Despite the best of intentions, you know that you won't.
Your vision goes blurry at the edges as you continue staring up at the night sky, looking for any constellations you recognise by way of finding yourself a bedtime story to recount as you try to fall asleep. The leaves on the trees sway gently in the breeze, and your mind wanders, as it so often does, to Astarion. Your sweet vampire, who simultaneously breaks your heart and put it back together in the same moment every time you uncover more of who he is, more of his past.
Oh, but you love him.
Of its own accord does your body take a long, deep breath in, your heart sinking into your stomach as surely as your body melts into the bedroll. All of your thoughts of Astarion and all of your feelings for him are safe inside yourself, and they serve you now in warming you from the inside out.
Your eyes slide closed, and if you press your forehead closer into your blanket, you can almost tell yourself that you can feel Astarion lying down beside you, you can smell bergamot and feel his silver hair tickle your cheeks, you can feel his fingers intertwined with yours, your legs tangled together, his crimson eyes upon your face so intently fixed like he's scared to blink in case you disappear before his eyes, leaving him clutching only the cold night air, his equally cold body pressed against every line of yours...
You smile to yourself and burrow deeper into your blanket, feeling sleepier, warmer and closer to your rest by the second. Thoughts of Astarion flood your mind and you curl up tighter, as if to keep all these thoughts right where they are. You know if you open your eyes that you'll be alone; you know not where Astarion is this night, but you know he is trying to sate his hunger with the snacks which live in the forest.
So you keep your eyes shut.
As you allow yourself to slip further into your threshold consciousness, you wonder what Astarion would say to you if he returned at this very moment...
"Hello, sweet. Gods, you are beautiful."
You smile again and squeeze your blanket ever tighter to you. Yes, he would probably say something like -
Wait.
Wait.
Was that - ?
With great caution do you open your eyes, ready to slam them shut again once you see that Astarion isn't there, that he didn't just speak to you. But instead of the cold hard truth slamming into you, flowers bloom in your heart because Astarion is here, looming over you, his silver curls seeming to be glowing in the soft moonlight. His crimson eyes seem black, his charming smirk soft at the edges as he gazes down at you with obvious fondness, vulnerable such as it is.
Of all the stars above me, this one's the prettiest, you think to yourself, and you open your eyes wider to better enjoy the view.
Astarion's smirk melts until it becomes a smile as he kneels down beside you, one of his arms reaching out to brush a leaf away from your face. His fingers ghost across your skin, and you shiver. "Thank you, darling. I know I'm beautiful. Not enough people mention it." His joke fades into vulnerability, as it so often does around you.
But it is no matter. You always meet him where he is, and right now it is no exception.
You smile at Astarion, all of the love for him shining in your eyes until they look like molten galaxies, and he swears he feels his heart, which stopped working centuries ago, skip a beat. You are unguarded where you lay in your threshold consciousness, not embarrassed to have spoke aloud your thoughts, and Astarion wonders if the old saying, that love makes fools of people, is true. You lay at the foot of a vampire, at the foot of a predator, smiling at him, physically and emotionally vulnerable, completely unguarded. Most others at the camp are asleep, Astarion can hear, and yet here you are...
Wait. Why are you awake?
"Darling," Astarion's voice is a hush and you strain your ears to be able to hear him. He bends closer to you to accommodate, anticipating your needs before you fully register them yourself, "Why aren't you sleeping? No harm shall befall you when I'm here." Long ago, he had sought your protection, but now he wanted you both to be safe. If this is how the mighty fall, then Astarion must admit that he is happy he lost his balance. He quite likes the view from down here.
You shake your head and shuffle closer still, unable to get close enough to your most beloved vampire. "Can't sleep without you." I just want to be held.
Oh, help him, but this is devastating in its simplicity. His undead heart bleeds and words have brought Astarion to the point where they run dry. Instead, he stands, and reaches a hand out to you. The message is clear - he wants you to accompany him to his tent, he wants to carve a piece of heaven out with you amongst all the chaos unleashed, he wants to hold and to be held.
Astarion just wants you, and who are you to deny him?
One of your hands slips into his while the other pulls the blanket away from you and Astarion's smile widens as he effortlessly pulls you up to stand beside him. You bend to scoop up your bedroll, and follow Astarion into your tent. The door flap flutters in the wind as Astarion releases it, and it settles in place like a butterfly finding a flower.
You find yourselves easily, your bedroll dumped next to Astarion's, pushed up close until his bedroll becomes a double. It's a well established routine for the two of you, with you spending more nights here than you don't. You never enter his tent if he isn't here, and you certainly never come in without his permission. One day, Astarion will find the words to convey his appreciation for your concern, but until then, he will remind you at every chance he finds that you are always welcome. He finds it greatly ironic that you seek permission to enter space and he, a vampire, does not. He knows he is welcome, wanted, cherished, loved.
It took some work for the both of you to get here, but his months with you are the counterweight to the hell he escaped from.
He'll never be able to thank you enough, he has no idea what he is doing, but perhaps this is a start.
Somehow, through the fuzziness of denied sleep, you end up back in bed, your blanket around you and Astarion's still chest under your head. He lays beneath you like he is patiently waiting for you to make yourself comfortable, and you take the opportunity to wind both of your arms around his waist and squeeze, pulling yourself up just enough to be able to bury your face in his neck. One of your legs slips between his, anchoring the two of you together.
Slowly, like he's afraid to move too quickly in case you disappear within his grasp and leave Astarion holding nothing but the cold empty night air, his hands settle upon your back and a sigh which seems to come from deep within him spells peace for the both of you. "This is nice," Astarion's voice rumbles through your ear and you press yourself ever closer to him, unable to get close enough. Your arms constrict around him again and you feel yourself smile as all those sleepy dreams you were having earlier are now here, beneath you, wrapped around you. As you hold on tighter, so too does Astarion, until the two of you are so completely intertwined that the elements cannot reach you. He has no body temperature and yet you are the comfiest and the warmest you have ever been.
Safe.
This time, Astarion doesn't tell you that you accidentally spoke your thoughts aloud.
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thegreatcaptainusopp · 5 months
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I am just. SO fascinated by the core theme of dreams in One Piece as it pertains to Usopp. Everyone else has a dream that’s like…either very specific as a goal, very ambitious, or both (some at different levels of quantifiable than others). But Usopp’s simultaneously so simple and so unquantifiable. It’s not a hyperbole, like “bravest warrior of the sea”, for example. It’s just “brave warrior of the sea”. So straightforward. But like, how do you even declare that completed? At which point does Usopp look at himself and go: dream achieved! Because in that case, he’s already achieved it. He achieved it the second he stepped on the merry. He achieved it the second he was terrified scared during a fight and stayed to fight anyway. He achieved it the second he decided to fight everyone he loved because he thought they gave up on their ship. He achieved it the second he put on a mask and pretended to be someone else to be a hero.
The existence of Sogeking is so telling about this because like. He invents a persona in order to be a warrior and feel worthy enough to fight. But that’s still him under there. It seems like Luffy and Chopper aren’t the only ones fooled by the Sogeking persona, Usopp himself believes to an extent that that’s another guy, that’s the brave warrior of the sea he wants to be. But it’s still him!
So like. His journey is less about achieving the dream. It’s more about realizing that he’s already achieved it.
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kneelingshadowsalome · 4 months
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Genuinely so obsessed with the ask you answered about reader being associated with König’s childhood bullies and coming back years later to try and make amends……. I need the angst, the drama, the nasty disgusting degrading sex, the absolute turmoil on both of their parts 😭 I am starving for this, the way you portray König especially there is exactly how I’ve always envisioned him in my mind!!!!!! And then with reader desperately trying to make him happy now out of guilt and her crush that’s grown 10x since she saw him in school, delusionally hoping and believing there’s a *relationship* between them and she can fix what she thinks she allowed to happen back then 10 years after the fact, while König is constantly fighting himself to not fall for reader despite his own buried crush resurfacing, and convincing himself he’s only using her to release stress and tension after assignment while simultaneously holding so much resentment for her and her sheer proximity to the people that tormented him back then, I am foaming at the mouth for the toxic dynamics to be found there !!!!!!!!! The old him begging to fulfill some childish need to have her, while this new monstrous version of himself only wants to watch her suffer to repent for how he had to suffer !!!!!!!!!!!!
I know right?! I’m obsessed with this too!
I’m so here for the toxic relationship dynamic (sue me), also me and @bucca2/@wordstome had a whole conversation about this yesterday because König would bend over backwards to self sabotage this shit.
(The following is mainly a summary from our brainstorm session from last night + I have bucca to thank for the precious meme at the end, it’s König in a nutshell with his high school crush lol)
First of all our girl is sooo in love. She was in love when they were young, but now? She’s a goner, König is out of this world. He's so handsome, so confident, the epitome of cool if there ever was one... and God, would you look at those muscles?
Now she can finally drool all over him but back then, what was she to do? As the shy one of the clique, she always tried to avoid attention; she could never have endured what König did. Perhaps it was cowardly of her, but she really was just scared. She could only dream about him from afar, and in her dreams, they would both change schools due to their parents moving or something... Ending up in the same area, finally getting to be together like it was a miracle, Deus ex Machina.
Her silly dreams never came true, but it looks like they're coming to fruition now. And this time, she's going to make everything better! Now that they're both grown up and free from their tormentors she can finally admit that she has feelings for him, feelings that are only sparked fast aflame when she sees the man he has become.
And König can’t stand it.
Where was she when he was odd and scrawny? Where was she when he cried himself to sleep over her?? Of course she wants him now that he’s big, independent and menacing, an odd nerd who discovered guns and gym... He thought she was better than this.
Deep inside, he’s still like this:
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...but we just need to forget about it because König is NOT going to fold for this girl.
He’s not.
And the sex is so NASTY. Bordering on degrading, König wants to be a gentleman when it comes to ladies, but this one? This one he wants to fuck like he paid for her. She brings out the beast in him, and he finds himself asking her to get on her knees and blow his cock on some filthy cruise... Fucks her like he doesn’t love her, and she’s absolutely lovestruck, when did König become so mean? (God, that she loves him)
Trying not to fall in love with her (as if he ever fell out), König is so incredibly mad at this girl – is this what she wanted this whole time? A buff jerk who fucks her doggystyle until her knees bleed, who gives her the bare minimum, who barely even calls her when he’s away? (He has to physically restrain himself from doing that because of course he’d like to hear her pick up the phone with pure hope in her voice)
While changing his tactics and devising a plot to make her pay, König doesn’t even understand that he’s falling fast for her again while becoming now (seemingly) the best version of himself. It's only to dump her later, of course. He's just being nice so that she'll cry over losing him later. He brings her flowers, eats her out for hours, getting sick satisfaction from the way she cries about how it’s the best sex she’s ever had. He’s going to bring her to her knees, in more ways than just one... She’s going to remember him for the rest of his life when he rearranges her guts, ruining her for any other man.
König is becoming the thing he hates the most while she’s learned her lesson, now wearing her heart on her sleeve. No more shame and secrets, she’s not afraid to tell him how she feels! How she always had a small crush on him… And not even that small… How she loved to hear his presentations, no matter what silly subject they were about because he had actually done his research. How she could’ve swooned when his voice changed. After a short breaking period, he started to talk lower than anyone else in the class, earning himself more of that bullying because he sounded so manly at such a young age.
König is about to burst a blood vessel when hearing all this: she had a crush on him back then? What the actual fuck??
And then come the cuddles, the slow mornings, the coffee and toast, the showering together… She leaves her toothbrush in his place, and it stares at him accusingly from the side of the sink. She wears his t-shirts and looks absolutely gorgeous, mouth-watering and sweet in them. His sexy little minx, the one who didn’t get away…
Wait, what? No. No. No!
And when his high school sweetheart confesses her love for him for the first time, she's so open and vulnerable and sweet about it. Like she has been from the start, his sweet, sweet girl, exactly the kind of woman he always wanted to bring home to see his mom. König is about to lose his mind when she tugs at his shirt, almost cries when she says how much she loves him and couldn’t bear to live without him… She would cry herself to the grave if anything ever happened to him…
(König is like:)
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somelazyassartist · 2 years
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Actually have to turn on something else I was planning on falling asleep to TAZ but I've been laying here for like an episode and a half and I am just enjoying it I'm not any closer to falling asleep lmao
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gottaluvharry · 8 months
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Tossing & Turning
Charles Leclerc x Female Reader
Summary: Charles coaxes you back to sleep when your cramps keep you up.
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Tossing. Turning. Tossing. Turning. All night long you haven’t been able to get comfortable, your cramps irritating you behind belief. You were envious of your boyfriend who was still, somehow, sound asleep behind you. While he does sleep like a rock, he always gravitates toward you when you move around. If you roll out of his embrace, he blindly feels for you until he can pull you back in. He had no idea he was doing it, it was an act he committed subconsciously, yet it made you smile every time. You huff and look up at the ceiling with your arms clenching your lower stomach, so fed up with not being able to sleep. The worst part was that you couldn’t wake Charles about it as he had early training in the morning- you would feel terrible if you woke him up just to complain. With a groan, you spin around to sit with your feet on the floor of your room, looking behind you at your boyfriend sprawled out and fast asleep. Your love. Even in pain, you still took the time to admire him. You wait for your pain to die down before you get up to go to the kitchen. Unlucky for you though, as your reaching up to get the tea from the cupboard your pain returns, amplified more than before. A groan of pain escapes your lips as you simultaneously double over and drop the box of tea to the floor. You don’t even acknowledge how the sound of the box hitting the floor might wake Charles. You crouch down, unable to hold yourself up as you wait out the pain. Unbeknownst to you, Charles is awake down the hall trying to figure out why his girl isn’t in his arms anymore. He can feel the warmth on your pillow, indicating to him that you haven’t been gone long. He starts to rise slowly, but picks up the pace when he hears quiet sobs from across the house. He quickly makes his way towards the sound, his heart sinking when he sees you folded over on the floor silently crying next to a spilled box of tea bags. He knows you’re on your period, and he also knows how bad ylur cramps can be. He frowns as he comes up behind you slowly, trying not to scare you. “Amour” he whispers, “why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?” he asks as he sits and leans against the counters, slotting you between his legs. “I didn’t want to wake you, you have training tomorrow” you say as you wipe your eyes. You try your hardest not to lean into him, you don’t want to make him feel like he has to stay with you- and he doesn’t like that one bit. “Y/n” he pleads. “I’m not mad at you for waking me up, please relax and let me take care of you”. At that, you finally lean into him and let yourself feel comfort in your boyfriends embrace. You sigh when you feel his warm hands start to knead the skin over where you hurt. “Thank you” you whisper. “You don’t have to thank me amour. This is what boyfriends are for” he says as he leans down to kiss your neck. “Are you feeling better? Do you want to go back to bed?” he asks. With the nod of your head, he gently picks you up and carries you back to your room, placing you in the same spot you were in a half hour ago. Before you even have the chance to ask him where he’s going, he comes back into the room with the heating pad in his hands. You just smile at the caring man who plugs it in next to your bed and places it over your lower stomach. As he crawls back into his side of the bed he pulls you into him and your head immediately finds the crook of his neck. With the feeling of your legs intertwined and his arms wrapped around your shoulders and back, you finally feel comfortable for the first time tonight. As your on the brink of sleep you hear him whisper “Je t’aime tellement. Je t’aiderai toujours quand tu auras mal. Tu comptes tellement pour moi, y/n, et je vais t’épouser un jour.” I love you so much. I will always help you when you hurt. You mean so much to me, y/n, and I am going to marry you someday. The last thing you feel before you fall into a much needed slumber is the soft feather of his lips on your forehead, and the light comfort of his hands brushing up and down your back.
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being touch deprived and on your period at the same time is so painful😪 lonely girlies rise!!!!!!!
also, i didn’t edit this so sorry for mistakes, the gif is not mine, and i used google translate for the french:)
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cow-smells · 7 months
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Decisions | you chose: Vinsmoke Sanji x reader
Summary: After a misunderstanding makes the crew think you and Zoro are sleeping together, you're forced to confront the man you have feeling towards in order to make things right.
Word count: 890
Warnings: slightly suggestive at most
BEFORE reading this, make sure you read the prequel (Zoro's ending here)
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Read on AO3
Instinctively, your hands came up to grip Sanji’s arms that were wrapped tightly around your shoulder line. Your head tilted up to look at the man towering over you, and from the corner of your eye you could see Zoro practically deflate.
Sanji’s expression softened as you looked up at him – he had his answer.
Sanji’s hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, making you turn to him thoughtlessly. You felt as though you were on autopilot and yet, simultaneously hyper aware of his every feature, of the way he was looking at you as though drinking you in. The simplest brush of his fingertips on your cheekbone sent a wave of heat through you.
He had such tenderness in his voice as he said, “Y/n… You’re the one for me. Since the day you boarded this ship, you’ve been the apple of my eye, the light of my life, the fire of  my -”
            “Hey,” Nami interjected, the tone of her voice a clear warning. Sanji’s lips pressed in to a smile, unbothered by the disruption. His large hands held your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks as though you were the most precious thing he ever had the privilege of meeting.
            “I’m so in love with you,” Sanji continued, “that I don’t know what to do with myself.”
            “You could start by kissing me,” you suggested, a shy smile on your lips.
            “I’ll remind you two that you’re in the kitchen, it’s eight AM and there are other people in the room.” Nami interjected once more – and truthfully, you couldn’t blame her. You were so caught up in the moment you had forgotten about anyone and anything else. Being suddenly pulled out of your haze, you looked at your crewmates – Luffy and Usopp were watching you and Sanji like a telenovela was unraveling before them. Zoro was gone – he must have left the room without you noticing. You were sad to hurt him, but your feelings for Sanji were undeniable.
            “Come, my love,” Sanji took your hand and took to leading you out of the kitchen. “let’s continue this somewhere more private.” Luffy and Usopp cheered and whistled at that (you thought you could hear Nami sigh in between) – heat rushed to your cheeks as you thought of the implications that must have come to their minds.
You felt like a kid, giggling excitedly as the man you loved guided you to the boys’ room (you were silently grateful Zoro took the spare room for himself). Sanji guided you in to the room before following, shutting the door behind himself. Before you could take it all in his lips were already on yours – he had descended upon you with all the urgency he had felt for so long. He had one hand in your hair, holding you in place, almost scared to let you go – the other hand caressing the side of your body, struggling to decide where exactly he wanted to touch, after having dreamt of this moment for so long.
You couldn’t believe this was finally happening – and it was even better than you imagined. Sanji’s lips meshed perfectly against yours, the perfect combination of passionate and hot but still delicate and caring. You thread an arm behind his neck, holding him closely to you. Sanji took that as the go-ahead to take hold of your waist and press you against him, reveling in your warmth, in the softness of your body; you surely couldn’t complain, as you enjoyed feeling the hardness of his muscular chest, the outline of his figure… things you hadn’t felt before.
After a while, you had no choice but to break apart to breath; a need that Sanji didn’t seem to have, because the moment you broke the kiss he seized the opportunity to kiss down your neck, biting lightly until he found your sweet spot. He knew he found the spot because you couldn’t contain your moan. That only edged Sanji on to bite harder, needing to leave his mark on you; you were driving him insane, and you had only just began.
Sanji’s grip on your waist gradually became so strong it would bruise, but you were enjoying it all too much to notice. It was only when you noticed his nimble fingers undoing your shirt buttons – just as you heard Usopp laugh not too far away – that you came to your senses. The crew must have finished eating, and soon your privacy would be gone.
            “Wait,” you took a step back from Sanji. He stopped his assault on your neck, but he couldn’t contain the kicked-puppy expression he had at the loss of you. “we should cool it. For now. With everyone around, and all…”
Sanji cleared his throat, straightening his jacket and stepping closer to you to rebutton your shirt. “Right. You’re right. For now.” With the last words he looked in to your eyes, making sure you knew you would be continuing these activities at a later point. Sanji flattened your shirt, but you were half sure it was just a guise to touch you some more before you had to part. Finally, his hand came to your neck, fingertips lightly caressing the spot he bit hard – where there surely was a frightening bruise forming. “At least now you know you’re mine.”
-
tags: @gardens-light @yeonieesss
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yeoosaangg · 7 months
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Do or Die || Kinktober - Day 8
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pairing ▸ lee minho × f!reader
now playing ▸ do or die - natalie jane
⤷ ❝whisper that i'm your burnin' desire. feelin' the heat, now my heart is on fire.❞
genre ▸ idol au, bf!seungmin, perv!minho, smut
warnings ▸ voyeurism, masturbation, squirting, shower sex, infidelity
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Minho didn't mean for this to happen, but he can't seem to stop.
He's been watching you and Seungmin have sex with each other whenever he's had the opportunity to do so.
It started when you accidentally left the door to their joint bathroom slightly open. He was going to scold Seungmin thinking he was responsible when he heard your moans.
He peeked through the crack of the door and saw you bouncing on your boyfriend's cock, facing his direction.
He felt himself get hard at the sight of your fucked out face, tits on display for him.
He got scared when you made eye contact with him. To his surprise, you smirked at him.
You fucked yourself while staring at him, making his cock ache. Even though he knew it was wrong, he unzipped his pants and started jerking himself off while you watched.
You rubbed your clit, seemingly for him rather than yourself.
Seungmin: Fuck, I'm gonna cum.
Y/n: I'm almost there, Min. Wait for me.
Minho's dick twitched in excitement. You were talking to your boyfriend while simultaneously giving him attention.
Seungmin didn't have a problem with waiting, grabbing your hips and slamming up against your ass.
Minho silently pumped his cock as you squeezed your breasts, rubbing your nipples for him to see.
He knew you were close when you scrunched your face in pure bliss.
Y/n: I'm gonna cum.
Seungmin spilled into you at the same time you squirted all over him. You slowly moved your hips back and forth, watching Minho spill into his hands.
Ever since then, he's noticed you left the door open whenever you did anything sexual with Seungmin. And he gladly watched.
Just like he is now.
You were facing the window upside down, side profile on display for Minho. You knew he was watching, making you even wetter.
Seungmin: So wet for me, huh?
Not just him. For Minho as well.
It was wrong to feel this way over your boyfriend's friend and bandmate, but you fucking love it.
Seungmin switches positions, your ass on display for him. He gives you four hard spanks, the impact helping him press your face into the matress.
You managed to face in the direction of the bathroom, seeing Minho pumping his hard cock.
You moan louder, Seungmin slamming into you.
Seungmin: You look so far gone, baby. Am I fucking you to perfection?
Y/n: Mhm. So fucking good!
Seungmin: Careful, baby. Minho hyung's in his room. He might hear how much of a cockslut you are for me.
Oh, he's had an idea for two months now.
He smirks when you quietly giggle. You bite your bottom lip as you gaze into Minho's eyes.
Seungmin: On second thought, let him hear you. He'll know how lucky I am to have you while he's still single.
You widen your eyes, shaking your head as best you could. You had to keep the act up, knowing how perceptive he is to a lot of things.
You cover your mouth, muffling your moans as your boyfriend pounds into you mercilessly from behind. His nails dig into your hips, cock stretching you perfectly.
Seungmin: So good for me, baby. I can feel how hard you're squeezing. Go ahead and make a mess of yourself.
You scream into your hand, squirting all over his cock. You watch Minho spill into his hands as Seungmin cums inside you for the third time that night.
Minho swiftly makes his way to his room, using his own tissues to clean himself up. He purposely locked his side of the bathroom door so Seungmin doesn't get suspicious.
You breath irratically as your boyfriend pulls out of you. You roll onto your back, smiling as he massages your hips and kisses your face.
Seungmin: You okay, baby?
You nod, kissing his lips so he doesn't worry too much.
Y/n: I want to shower.
Seungmin: Want me to join you?
Y/n: Not tonight. Feel sore.
He chuckles, kissing your forehead.
Seungmin: Okay. You can go first. I'll put on my sweats and get something to eat. Want anything?
Y/n: Mm... Spicy chicken!
Seungmin: Alright, my baby. I'll get you your spicy chicken.
You let him pull you up, helping you into the bathroom.
Y/n: I like when I wear your shirt. Makes me feel small.
Seungmin: You are small. Now take a shower, stinky.
You scoff, pushing him out of the bathroom. You can hear his laugh as you lock the door.
You shake your head while turning the shower faucet on.
A mischievous grin paints your face as you head for Minho's door. You unlock it, opening the door to find him sitting on the edge of his bed.
He looks up with a shocked expression. You cover your lips with your finger, locking his main door. He looked so confused and flustered.
You grab him by the wrist and take him into the bathroom with you. You lock the door and press him against it.
He clears his throat as silently as possible. You rub against his bulge, making him flinch. He whispers in panic, afraid of getting caught.
Minho: What about Seungmin?
Y/n: Don't worry about him, Min. This is about us right now. Don't you want me?
He does. Oh, so desperately. But what if your boyfriend finds out?
Y/n: Minho, it's okay. I won't tell him if you don't.
He gasps, covering his mouth when you slip your hand into his boxers to pump his cock.
Y/n: Join me in the shower. Show me what you've been wanting to do to me.
He has no will to hold back anymore, stripping off his clothes and kissing you hungrily.
Minho: I want to fuck you so hard, you'll have to be carried around for a week.
Y/n: Then do it.
He pulls you into the shower, hoisting you onto his hips and shoving his cock inside you. It was so easy to slide in, having been prepped so good by your boyfriend.
He explores every corner of your mouth he could reach, hips slamming against yours in desperation.
Minho: Wish I could leave marks on your pretty neck.
Y/n: Is that right, handsome?
He nods, burying his face in your neck as he pounds into you. He whimpers, careful to not make any sounds out as you squeeze down on his cock.
Minho: So warm and wet. Very good.
You giggle, scratching his back when he hits your g-spot repeatedly. You bite down on your tongue to avoid screaming his name.
Minho: Can I cum inside you? Please?
This was a new dynamic for you.
Seungmin is the dominant one in your relationship. But being the one in control and reducing a man to nothing but a pussy puppet feels riveting.
Y/n: Of course you can.
He spills into you, feeling your juices mix with his. He shudders, not stopping from pounding into you.
He picks up his pace, watching your eyes roll to the back of your head. You were already sensitive from being fucked by your boyfriend, but this was sending you to the clouds.
Minho was slightly bigger and thicker. So this was a new stretch that has your legs shaking violently. He covers your mouth, preventing you from screaming.
Minho: God, I don't think I'll be able to stay away from you. Want to keep you all to myself.
You nod, agreeing with his statement. He can have his way with your body whenever and wherever he wants. He just has to send you a text.
You moan against his hand, squirting once again. He continues to bully his cock into your swollen cunt, cumming deep into your womb.
He stays inside you, breathing heavily against your collarbone. Your body was shaking, not knowing if you'd be able to walk out to your boyfriend's room.
Minho: Wanna stay like this forever.
Y/n: So cute. You gonna help me change? I don't think I can stand by myself.
He smiles, pouring the body wash on his hands. He lathers you up, cock still stimulating you.
You wash each other, loving how intimate this felt.
You smile in content, kissing his face like you weren't cheating on Seungmin right now.
He dries you up, finally pulling out of your pretty pussy. He dives down, licking up and down your folds. You gasp, pushing his head against your sensitive clit.
His tongue fucks into you, so you roll your hips against his hot tongue. You spill more cum on his face, he swallows all of it.
Minho: Clean.
You catch your breath, wiping your pussy with the towel. He helps you slide on your thong and pulling Seungmin's shirt over your head.
Minho: Can I fuck you again. Tomorrow?
Y/n: Slow your roll, handsome. I'm gonna need to recover. I just got dicked down by two sexy men.
Minho: Didn't mean to make you cheat. I just couldn't help myself. You looked so pretty all fucked out.
Y/n: You didn't make me do anything, Min. I wanted you to fuck me.
He purses his lips, nodding away his guilt.
A knock on Seungmin's bathroom door startles you two. You giggle, watching Minho quietly make his way to his room.
You find him so cute.
Seungmin: You okay? Thought I heard your voice.
Y/n: Yeah! I was calling you so you can help me.
Seungmin: With what?
You carefully climb down to the floor, using the counter to hold yourself up.
You unlock the door and smile at your boyfriend.
Y/n: Turns out, taking a shower leaves your body aching more than it should be.
Seungmin: My poor baby. Let me help you.
You laugh when he carries you into his room, closing the bathroom with his foot. He helps you get comfortable in the sheets, sliding in next to you.
Seungmin: By the way, how was the shower sex?
---
a/n: LMAO. have fun dwelling on this. thanks for reading ‹𝟹
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calliesmemes · 2 months
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DARKNESS HAUNTS YOUR NARRATIVE
UNSETTLING SENTENCE STARTERS FROM VARIOUS SOURCES THAT WILL SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE AND LEAVE AN OMINOUS FEELING LINGERING IN THE ROOM.
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CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
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“   I’m deep inside your mind. There is no escape for you. ”
“   You save everyone, but who saves you? ”
“   The power inside of me — it’s terrifying. ”
“   Power belongs to those who take it. ”
“   You’ll be the ruin of me, won’t you? ”
“   You weren’t meant to save the world — you were meant to destroy it. ”
“   You didn’t break me; you built me. All you did was make me ruthless. ”
“   You have no power over me. ”
“   I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me. ”
“   All the greatest loves end in violence. ”
“   I don’t think you’re truly mean. You have sad eyes. ”
“   In theory the prophecy could still come true. ”
“   One day, your empathy is going to get you killed. ”
“   We are masters of our own destiny. ”
“   Never trust a survivor until you find out what they did to survive. ”
“   The horror that you have seen is not who you are. ”
“   A little too much anger, too often or at the wrong time, can destroy more than you would ever imagine. ”
“   Your scars are not your shame; they are your story. ”
“   I will never turn my back on people who need me. ”
“   Isn’t it scary to be ready to die at such a young age? ”
“   Your mind is a weapon. Keep it loaded. ”
“   Are you hearing those voices again? ”
“   It scares me sometimes. The emptiness I see in your eyes. ”
“   You may not be interested in the war, but the war is interested in you. ”
“   Haven’t you taken enough from me? ”
“   You collect scars because you want proof that you are paying for whatever sins you have committed. ”
“   It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel. ”
“   I hope that what you did to me haunts you. ”
“   The price of freedom is high. It always has been. ”
“   When you talk, I can hear the revolution. ”
“   Do not pretend that you are some meek, pathetic little girl when I can see that vicious mind working behind your eyes. ”
“   Your new life will cost you your old one. ”
“   Watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can. ”
“   Some people are in your life to test you ”
“   Fear makes men more dangerous than magic ever could. ”
“   At what point do you think i'll become the wound itself and not simply the bearer? ”
“   We are made of all those who have built and broken us. ”
“   All power demands sacrifice and pain. ”
“   Some things buried deep need to stay that way. ”
“   You and I are going to change the world. ”
“   I wonder which will get you killed faster — your loyalty, or your stubbornness? ”
“   Something’s made your eyes go cold. ”
“   If I am not a weapon, then what am I? ”
“   Your chains are broken, but are you truly free? ”
“   You were alone before they left you. ”
“   You can love a monster, it can even love you back, but that doesn’t change its nature. ”
“   It’s awful not to be loved. It’s the worst thing in the world … it makes you mean, and violent, and cruel ”
“   We can simultaneously be both human and monster. ”
“   I have this strange feeling that I’m not myself anymore. ”
“   You laugh like a little girl and think like a martyr. ”
“   Grief taught me inhumane things. ”
“   You will always be a monster. There is no turning back from it. ”
“   I know there’s a villain, and I’m worried it’s me. ”
“   I can’t stand the bitter thing that I’ve become. ”
“   People will never bleed enough to fulfill your vision of justice. ”
“   What if I told you the truth about what happened that night? ”
“   Part of me died in order to survive. ”
“   We are cursed with a tendency for violence. ”
“   I speak in verses, prophecies, and curses. ”
“   I see no use quarrelling with fate. ”
“   Nobody smart plays fair. ”
“   Fine, make me your villain. ”
“   They should be terrified of me. ”
“   I gave you devotion, blood, and my life. ”
“   How disappointing, when people succumb to what is expected of them. ”
“   Perhaps that was why I had to endure pain — because true transformation can only happen in the crucible of suffering. ”
“   Morality, too, is a question of time. ”
“   Memories destroy us. ”
“   My entire life, I’ve been fighting a war. ”
“   Fair is foul, and foul is fair. ”
“   Are you becoming what you’ve always hated? ”
“   I have found it takes a lot of strength to endure myself. ”
“   Loving any of us is a death sentence, isn’t it? ”
“   You long to be bandaged before you have been cut. ”
“   I feel so lost among these entirely strange people. ”
“   Remembering is like an open wound. ”
“   The wounded recognize the wounded. ”
“   I am alone and am suffocating because I cannot give voice to my emotions. ”
“   I’ve lived through entire tragedies in silence. ”
“   The more you love, the more you suffer. ”
“   The crowd that applauds a ruler’s coronation is the same crowd that will applaud a tyrant’s beheading. People like a show. ”
“   You are a better knife than you are a person. ”
“   Life goes more smoothly without a heart. ”
“   People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. ”
“   I’m nostalgic for the anger I once had. ”
“   The pain I didn’t tell you about has built a home inside of me. ”
“   My greatest regret was how much I believed in my own future. ”
“   All I ever do is grieve. ”
“   Do not mock a pain you haven’t endured. ”
“   I control the shadows. They do not control me. ”
“   Turn the pain into power. ”
“   Sometimes, we survive by forgetting. ”
“   I am now the most miserable man living. ”
“   To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me. ”
“   In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and, to the young, it comes with bitterest agony. ”
“   I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me. ”
“   Memories do not always soften with time; some grow edges like knives. ”
“   Maybe everything that you thought was breaking you was actually leading you towards yourself. ”
“   Sometimes, not being in control is the most beautiful thing in the world. ”
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pupyuj · 3 months
Note
ENA WE NEED GHOSTFACE YUJIN PLEASE
Sadly I have no plot but im sure your genius brain can come up with something crazy 🤭
LOVE YOU
AAAAAA THIS ASKKKK ILY TOO KEER HEHEHEHE 😭💕💕 hopefully i get to do a full fic on ghostface!yujin in the future bcs i am sooo into the idea omgkdhjkhvc
yujinnie definitely the type of ghostface to initially plan on killing you fr but thought you were too pretty so she'd have a bit of fun with you first! it helps that you knew yujin as that unfairly handsome girl who walked aimlessly around the local library (that you just so happened to frequently hang out in) for no reason... bcs when she took off her mask after breaking into your room and scaring the living lights out of you, you found yourself softening up instead of screaming your head off and it only made things easier for yujin! she wouldn't even let you recover from your initial shock and just grab you 😳
definitely makes fun of you while you're desperately sucking her off as if your life depended on it bcs guess what... it did! see, you weren't restrained so you could have easily stolen her stupid knife and finally put an end to the nightmare she has put the entire neighborhood in but god you're such a whore that the sight of yujin throwing her head back and hearing her moan turned your brain into mush... making you only capable of pleasuring her and nothing else 😵‍💫 and her praises only made you want to do her better! "just like that... fuck—" yujinnie would feel so good that she'd fuck your mouth herself!
"y-you... don't feel any shame at all, huh, slut? fuck.. sucking off a murderer like this... if only those goody-two-shoes of a friend group you have could see you now..." yujinnie says while you're crying bcs it just dawned on you how much of an idiot you were being :(( even if you somehow gave yujin the best fuck of her life, she'd still kill you! you were practically spending your last moments sucking her dick which wasn't only embarrassing but also just fucking crazy...
ofc a serial killer as sick as yujin wouldn't care at all when you're bent over and sobbing on your pillow while she pounded you from behind, not letting up even when you've cum so much 😣 she'd be so happy to see you all messed up under her,, "take it, you bitch..." omgomg she would grab your jaw and push your back to her chest so she can hear you clearly, giggling against you shoulder while she simultaneously toyed with your clit and thrusted deeply inside you… as dirty as it was, it was definitely way better than being stabbed to death… and yujin got to know how grateful you were of her for sparing your life for the night when you obediently started riding her, doing anything and everything to get the two of you to cum together… 😵‍💫
yujinnie would leave without another word after all of that, but she definitely comes back for more! after every other kill, she comes to you for relief… or to waste whatever energy she has left! sometimes you never really know if it’s your last night whenever yujin knocks on your window… but the fear in your eyes every time you turn around to look at her was such a turn on that yujin just can’t help but let you live night after night… your life was just a sick game to her and you know what?? as long as you’re still breathing the morning after, you’ll let her play with you for as long as she wants 🤭🤭
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strongheartneteyam · 10 months
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Realize where you belong.
Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader
Chapter 5
CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!
I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.
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Chapter 4
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust
In your sweetest torment I am lost
And we sense the danger but don't want to give up
It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end
It's heartache every moment with you
Heartache Every Moment (HIM)
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.
Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.
"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...
"Obsession." you thought
Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.
Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.
"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)
Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.
"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.
Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief
"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"
"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab
"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"
"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?
"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.
"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"
“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."
Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."
"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.
You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.
You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.
You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:
"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"
Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.
"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."
"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said
"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face
"Opening my window for you was a mistake."
Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness
He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.
"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes
"I'm sorry. I have to go."
༊⁀➷
Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.
You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 
You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.
You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.
You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.
Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.
Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 
Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?
You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.
༊⁀➷
Taglist:
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dilfsfordinner · 5 months
Text
a/n- yeah, i’m still not over the leaks
——————————————————————————
“-it funny. Just the idea of Annabeth trying to sit quietly and draw all day,” you spoke into the quiet atmosphere of your bedroom, a queasy Megumi nuzzled into the valley of your chest, little sniffles coming from him as you read a chapter from one of his favorite books.
A heavy comforter was thrown atop your bodies, his body supplying more than enough heat on its own, but the doctor said warmer was better anyway, especially when cold sweats would pelt his form simultaneously. “Athena expects her children to create things, not just tear them dow-”
“I thought Athena was the war one,” came a scratchy voice to your right, the usual teasing tone Gojo used with you gone from his arsenal, replaced by the signature rasps of a sore throat. Looking up from your book, you turned to look upon your very sick lover, his blue eyes red and shot from fatigue, slow blinks indicating he was genuinely awaiting your answer.
A sympathetic smile pulled at your lips as you just nodded and pulled him closer, his soft hair tickling the skin of your neck as he rested the back of his head against your shoulder, his long form sinking down the bed, hip just below your hip, side to your side.
“Then why would she like architects,” he mumbled, eyes closing to get his much-needed rest, relaxation melting his limbs before a jab was dealt to his side, ribs aching from a tiny elbow, its little bone just sharp enough to knock a cough out of him.
“Listen,” came Megumi’s irritated response, the boy clearly too tired to put up with your lover’s antics, huffing as he nestled back into the comfort of your arms, which used his back as a makeshift table, holding the book up once more to continue reading.
Stifling a laugh at the scowl you knew was gracing Gojo’s features at the moment, you read to your makeshift patients, trying your best to mediate between them and keep the peace whenever a petty argument rose.
“… I am Thalia,’ the girl said, ‘Daughter of Zeus’”.
Closing the book with a contented sigh, you peeked down to find Megumi sleeping soundly, his pale face finally gaining a flush of color after days of palidity. Combing his hair away from his forehead, you tested his temperature with the back of your hand, your hope for his recovery short-lived as his skin felt as scalding as ever.
“Fuck,” you whispered, worry for the little boy lying on top of you building as you imagined how bad he must feel and the fact that you couldn’t cure him on your own.
“He’ll be okay,” came that scratchy voice again, a warm hand rubbing smooth circles on your thigh, Gojo sensing your racing thoughts of desperation, could tell from your shift in mood alone that you were scared Megumi’s sickness could possibly get even worse.
“I promise,” he added, his own fingers carding through Megumi’s silky hair this time, the two of you watching the young boy, his uneven inhales slightly evening out at the feeling of his “father’s” touch.
The sight had the worry sitting in your chest dissipating, if only for a moment, and you relaxed back against the headboard, nodding to acknowledge that you trusted him, trusted that he wouldn’t let anything happen to Megumi.
“Besides, we’re unkillable, love” he somehow purred, rough voice aside. An incredulous scoff bubbled out of you at his comment, shaking your head in disbelief at Gojo’s pure nonchalance, his own laugh slipping from his lips. Once again, Satoru Gojo knew exactly what to say to push buttons, the only difference being that it was an adult elbow jamming into his side this time.
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