#i am so sorry this took forever but phew there was a lot of them

[aftgficlibrary]

Post-Canon

Here is a list of fics set after the books so we can live on even after the series ends (Note: due to the sheer amount of Post-Canon fics, this only includes completed fics and is an extremely long list)

light fires at night (to push back the void) by inthesea (M | 61,862 | 3/3)

The first time Andrew realizes he wants to hear the words, Neil isn’t even doing anything. He’s just sitting there, staring at the horizon with that stupidly dramatic faraway expression of his, and letting the cigarette burn down between his fingers all the way to the filter — an outrageous waste of good nicotine, if you asked Andrew.

(Or: 20+ times Andrew and Neil say I love you, and one time they say it out loud.)

Trust Fall (And Welcoming Arms) by SpangleBangle (E | 84,557 | 13/13)

Life goes on after the Foxes win the championship, and for Andrew and Neil it’s uncharted territory with only each other for guides. Maybe it’s time to put away some of those hard edges, and learn how to touch more softly, and speak more honestly. And if they falter, they have their family to help them get back on their feet.

right side of rock bottom by allyasavedtheday (M | 20,019 | 1/1)

Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

*

A little look into Neil and Andrew’s relationship after The King’s Men where they learn to touch, to talk and to trust.

The Name Game by minyrrds (G | 3,042 | 1/1)

What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys

something like home by nightswatch (T | 5,197 | 1/1)

Andrew keeps showing up at Neil’s apartment. But that’s what he gave him the key for, isn’t it?

lessons in trust by nightswatch (T | 3,609 | 1/1)

They don’t talk about what exactly they are, but Neil is more and more convinced that they’re on a good way to becoming something.

raze it to the ground by ilgaksu for badacts (T | 4,511 | 1/1)

It stops being about Neil entirely, and it starts being about this: Andrew is really, really fucking tired.

sugar, spice, and something nice by ephemeralsky (T | 6,258 | 1/1)

Andrew appears by his side seconds later, takes one look at the charred disaster, and says, “At least you did not burn the Tower down.”

Neil sighs. Happy birthday, he thinks mockingly as he chucks the brownie into the garbage bin.

(or: Neil finds a new hobby and indulges his family with sweets, Andrew indulges Neil, and they both can’t stop staring at each other)

a love song for the cliffhanger boys by ilgaksu for clockworkmoon (T | 1,680 | 1/1)

Some days, you work with what you got. 

thorn in my skin by ephemeralsky (T | 5,861 | 1/1)

These days, both of them are able to sleep on the same bed without any weapons underneath their pillows and on their person, and Andrew is not sure what he wants to do with this knowledge. They have poured years into forging their armors, and now they are stripping them, piece by tattered piece.

(or: the five weapons Neil has at his disposal + the one weapon he wields without knowing it)

/Graphic Depictions Of Violence

next stop: nowhere by nightswatch (M | 8,117 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew have a week to themselves and decide to hit the road.

i’ll carry you home by broship_addict (E | 4,257 | 1/1)

“I thought we agreed that you were getting rid of it. Not coming back with two.”

“We agreed that I would take the cat to the shelter. I did.”

Or, Andrew and Neil and their cats, in seven parts.

above us only stars by nightswatch (T |  2,206 | 1/1)

Neil wants to say that he is fine. He wants to say that Nathaniel Wesninski doesn’t own a single part of him.

The Days That Followed by lipsstainedbloodred (E | 7,410 | 1/1)

Andrew’s hand moved up further to Neil’s ruined cheek and he held a hand over it briefly. “These are not ugly,” Andrew said, forcing Neil to look up and face himself directly in the mirror, “You will not be ashamed of these. You will not shy away from your reflection because of them. These are not ugly.”

or, the fic where Neil is self conscious of his scars and Andrew forces him not to be.

Hold It Together (Until You Can’t) by Joana789 (M | 5,560 | 1/1)

Andrew holds his gaze just for a second longer before turning away, and Neil breathes in, because even if Andrew Minyard, with his extraordinary memory, remembers the date — which is likely, Neil knows — he gives no sign of it.

Neil thinks that perhaps it is carved into his memory only.

or

Exactly a year after Baltimore, Neil doesn’t expect to feel like this.

Kisses on Scars by rememberednoah (G | 1,941 | 1/1)

In which Andrew decides to kiss all of Neil’s scars. In which Neil isn’t quite sure how to react and feel about this.

Josten Has A Neck Fetish by keihtkogane (T | 2,301 | 1/1)

An full length ficlet extension of my tumblr headcanon which ends with Andrew revealing Neil has a neck fetish on live television.

–

Written for the anon who asked: omfg can i pleASE get an extension of the last part of your andreil and subtle touches headcanon? the part where andrew’s like “josten has a fucking neck fetish”

Every Choice Leads To You by SpangleBangle (G | 2,809 | 1/1)

Andrew knew they had to get up at some point, if only for the bathroom, but was loathe to hurry the moment along. He would take every greedy minute of Neil snug in his bed, for as long as he could. It was the choice he’d made years before, and the one he made every day when he saw Neil’s ‘good morning’ smile. He had a feeling it was a choice he’d be making for many years to come. And while that thought should be terrifying, with Neil sweet and content in his arms, fear was far away.

All Hail the Underdogs by wildfrancium (T | 25,411 | 10/10)

Ten years after Neil Josten becomes Neil Josten, life is full of Exy and Andrew. And then they decide to try fostering a kid.

Late Night, Welcome Home by ThePackWantstheD (T | 1,160 | 1/1)

“I thought Andrew shredded those pants,” Kevin answered.

Neil’s lips quirked further up. “Wymack got me another pair.”

“What did I do to deserve this kind of punishment?” Kevin asked. “You’re the problem child.”

Fighting Heavy Shoulders by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,718 | 1/1)

He would stick a knife in the throat of anyone who tried to make him admit it, but Andrew was actually a little concerned about Neil running this race. From what he can tell, this can go one of two ways. Option one: Neil would be reasonable and just survive the race. Run at a sensible pace, make it across the finish line alive, and keep his mouth shut the next time some asshole reporter starts harassing him. Option two: Neil, because he is Neil, would try way too hard to keep up with the people who actually put in a lot of time training for these things. He would pull a muscle or pass out on the course, and Andrew would have to drag his ass to the nearest hospital, which would really throw a wrench in Andrew’s weekend plans of doing absolutely nothing. Not even to mention the absolute hissy fit Kevin would throw if Neil were injured. If Andrew were a betting man, his money would go to option two.

—

Wymack follows through on his threats, and Andrew is a protective asshole in love.

built this house on memories by modernpatroclus (T | 4,138 | 3/3)

Prompt: OMG when i was reading ur last andreil fic i started thinking “okay but what if neil woke up and didNT REMEMBER ANDREW” CAN U MAKE THIS HAPPEN I WILL PAY U

Or: Neil gets amnesia and can’t remember anything past the night he was drugged in Columbia.

Something Borrowed by Pi (Rhea) (T | 7,266 | 1/1)

After graduation, Neil and Andrew go on a road trip to return particular items to Neil’s mother’s contacts.

Or: two times Neil visited the Henrietta, Virginia.

Perfect by SpangleBangle (G | 1,547 | 1/1)

Ten years on, and things are just perfect.

But Broken Pieces Make Beautiful Mosaics by lipsstainedbloodred (T | 1,926 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is a broken, damaged thing. Pieces of a tattered personality and a traumatized mind, scared and skittish with one foot always out the door. And on Nathaniel Wesninski’s birthday, he runs.

Pillow Talk by zayndehaan for ohwhatanight (M | 3,826 | 1/1)

Neil finds a new fear, and doesn’t know how to bring it up without sounding foolish.

(a.k.a. lots of snuggling and banter and feelings)

Take Another Drag by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,233 | 1/1)

Andrew knows exactly who Travis is. Travis William Patterson, 27 years old, 6’3” backliner from middle of nowhere, Texas, current starter for the Boston Hurricanes, #9. As a matter of fact, Andrew is looking at him right now. ESPN is showing Exy highlights from last weekend, and Neil’s team just happens to be up at this very moment.

The Neil on screen has just performed some ridiculous move that absolutely should not have ended with a goal but somehow did, and he is immediately met with high-fives from his teammates and an affectionate-looking hug from Travis. Andrew can most certainly be objective, and this exchange looks pretty platonic. But Andrew is also a man attracted to men, and he has to admit that Travis is good looking. Really good looking.

-

Neil seems to be spending a lot of time with his new friend, and Andrew is Not Jealous.

dreamed in red by Frostandcoal (M | 7,261 | 1/1)

Four times the nightmares don’t win, and one time they almost do. Post-canon.

Minyard-Josten: A Rivalry For The Ages by dustbottle (M | 4,203 | 1/1)

After four years of playing together at Palmetto State University, Neil and Andrew end up on different professional teams. Neil is the new striker for the Atlanta Hawks; Andrew is goalie for the Boston Rebels. This is the story of their so-called rivalry.

Three guesses as to who starts the rumours.

(Spoilers: It’s Neil.)

Inside the Outsider by ouroboros for finkpishnets (M | 2,215 | 1/1)

It is little things like that that make this okay. Small rules, steps to follow: Pants staying buttoned, Neil’s hands where he can see them, no words but “Yes or no.” And, now, door locked. Check.

(Andrew looks back on the first time he does more than kiss Neil)

uncurling lifelines by Frostandcoal (M | 3,202 | 1/1)

That Andrew likes Neil being vocal in bed – that’s a key, and Neil intends to use it. This is something that Neil can give Andrew, a thing Andrew likes, that doesn’t involve touching or crossing boundaries Andrew is not yet ready for Neil to cross.

Besides, if Neil is good at anything besides Exy, it’s running his mouth.

Or: Neil learns that Andrew “I’m An Instigator At Heart And So Are You” Minyard might just like hearing Neil express not only his consent, but his enthusiasm, when they’re in bed.

back and forth by broship_addict (T | 2,573 | 1/1)

Years later Andrew and Neil find themselves revisiting Palmetto. It’s a lot more fun than Andrew’s ready to admit.

Lost Boy by the_ocean_burned (M | 6,401 | 1/1)

A look through Andrew’s eyes during some of the major events in the series.

Since I did use scenes and quotes from the series, I’m going to put a disclaimer on this one: All copyright rights to the characters, dialogue, and canon events belong solely to Nora Sakavic. I don’t own any of it; please don’t sue me. I’m broke.

The Self I Am by dustbottle (E | 5,536 | 1/1)

Though Neil and Andrew have been on the same professional team for years, the Minyard-Josten rivalry is still going strong. No one has caught wind of the truth of their relationship – but maybe it’s time for that to change.

(Or: Neil and Andrew decide to come out. This is how it happens.)

late night by Frostandcoal (G | 2,355 | 1/1)

People think that Exy “saved” him, but they are wrong. Exy is not a savior – there are no saviors for people like Andrew.

In which Andrew Minyard decides to pay it forward thanks to an all-night bodega, terrible ice cream choices and a cashier who just happens to play collegiate Exy.

out of breath by Frostandcoal for tycutiovevo (G | 3,418 | 1/1)

For tycutiovevo, who wanted Andreil in cold!weather, no angst. I hope you like this, bb! <3! <3!

Neil wants to live his life like he plays Exy – he wants the freedom to take chances, he wants the thrill of last-second goals, he wants the exhilaration of pushing his body to its limits, wants the ache and burn of every single bruise and scrape. His body is marked by other people’s cruelty and other people’s choices made on his behalf – he wants to cover it with the marks of the life he chose for himself.

Neil doesn’t understand what a “blizzard” is, and thinks it’s a good idea to go running in one. Andrew is not impressed.

Delayed Reaction by run_for_me (T | 3,035 | 1/1)

It’s been so long since he’s felt anything but affection for Nicky that he’d almost forgotten there was time when he’d been viscerally and intensely afraid of him.

*

In which the events of Neil’s first visit to Eden’s Twilight are finally addressed a year later.

I Want to Hold Your Hand by conniptionns (T | 5,009 | 4/4)

If this was Allison and Renee it would be cute and fluffy and very Across the Universe for this song, but it’s Andrew and Neil so

until the end of the world by broship_addict (T | 2,731 | 1/1)

Twenty years, two cats, and a whole lot of sports-related injuries later, they’re still home.

light it up by broship_addict (T | 1,879 | 1/1)

Neil Josten is probably the only person in the world capable of getting Andrew into an ugly Christmas sweater.

missing you (is all i am) by dustbottle (T | 2,677 | 1/1)

After graduating college, Andrew starts his professional Exy career as goalie for the Boston Rebels. Meanwhile, Neil is in his fifth and final year at Palmetto State University. Being apart turns out to be harder than either of them expected, and adjusting is a struggle.

When Neil visits Andrew in Boston, things come to a head.

maybe just the touch of a hand by niallszayn (G | 1,822 | 1/1)

All the Foxes come to Nicky and Erik’s wedding. Bets are made, and no one ever understands Andrew and Neil’s relationship.

Careless by Poteto (G | 1,474 | 1/1)

Matt likes to think Neil is done saying things that will get himself killed. Andrew disagrees.

way i tend to be by Frostandcoal (G | 1,665 | 1/1)

For erinaceinae-lutrinae on tumblr, who gave me the following prompt:

“Someone on Neil’s pro-team decides his nickname should be junior, and Neil does not take it well.”

Blossom Under Kindness by dustbottle (E | 3,433 | 1/1)

After Neil’s first year as a professional Exy player, Andrew and Neil spend their summer together in Columbia. There are good days and bad days. Today is a good day.

take my breath away (you know i’m bound to choke) by essenceofheroism (Not Rated | 1,620 | 1/1)

or the one in which andrew dreams neil runs away.

We Can Be Soft by SpookyMiscreant (M | 20,229 | 13/13)

Andreil and their daily lives. Fun ensues as always. Some of my HCs and some HCs from Tumblr. This has no plot or timeline please forgive me.

of being happy by artemis_west (E | 4,774 | 1/1)

On his flight home, Neil could barely sit still. He kept going back to his phone and staring at the message on his screen, the last one he’d received from Andrew:

I’ll be there.

Sounds Like a Good Excuse for Coming Home by OrdinaryVegan

Andrew is stressed, and Neil is problematic. Long-distance can be rather inconvenient, especially when your not-boyfriend is a murder magnet.

Summer Showers by Previously8 (T | 1,852 | 1/1)

Includes, but is not limited to: lots of staring, one (1) mention of chia seeds, Neil Josten’s new phone, the colours blue, green, and orange, talk of walls, a visit to Home Depot, and "452%”.

Rated T for swearing.

billboard. by lolainslackss (T | 2,940 | 1/1)

“Even when I turn away I can’t unsee it,” Aaron continued, his back to the rest of them, “It’s disgusting.”

…

Neil follows Kevin’s advice and agrees to be part of an ad campaign for Exy shoes. This ends up with Neil’s face on an eight-hundred-foot-wide moving billboard, and he’s not at all sure what to make of it. Neither is everyone else. Especially when Andrew notices everything.

Right Here in the Light by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,398 | 1/1)

It takes all of his willpower not to physically react from shock when he finds Piper curled up tightly on Andrew’s chest, King tucked behind the bend in her knees. His surprise is two-fold. First, he can’t believe he slept through another person being added into their bed. And second, he can’t believe that Andrew is actually asleep in his current position. His arm is wrapped tightly around Piper’s shoulders, the entirety of her small upper body resting on his chest. Neil can do nothing but stare in awe at the pair of them. He thinks of how far they’ve all come, each of them with their own unique struggles, and his sentimentality nearly gets the better of him.

“Staring,” comes Andrew’s low voice, disguised by disuse. All these years, and Neil still doesn’t know how he does that. His eyes aren’t even open. Ridiculous.

A few members of the domestic Andreil household find themselves awake in the middle of the night. In other words, Andrew Minyard is the best father in the universe, and no one will convince me otherwise.

this calls for a toast by Frostandcoal (G | 1,872 | 1/1)

Three years ago, Andrew Minyard threatened to kill her if she ever spoke to him. She hasn’t, but only because she’s had nothing to say.

Until today.

It’s Katelyn’s wedding day, and she’s got a little something to clear up with her brand-new brother-in-law.

As the Fire Spread by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,022 | 1/1)

Neil’s weight beside him is now familiar and even a comfort, sometimes. But on the occasions when Andrew’s senses are on overdrive and the smallest movement feels like an avalanche, an earthquake, a fucking planetary realignment, Neil knows better than to take Andrew’s abandonment personally.

Neil’s hoodie is thrown over the back of his desk chair, so Andrew makes his way over to dig out the pack of cigarettes from the pocket. He thinks he could light it with just the fire on the edge of his tongue, but he grabs a lighter from the drawer just in case.

—

Neil wants to help. Andrew just wants to breathe without feeling like his lungs will go up in flames.

Weddings and Other Kinds of Vows bya_case_for_wonder (T | 12,328 | 1/1)

“Lord, Andrew, you’d think you hadn’t been dating the guy for half a decade!” Nicky said. “When is he going to ask you to marry him, of course!” Andrew had known it was coming, but it still felt like the world slowed down a little. The question hung in the air between them like an ugly spell, until Andrew shook himself enough to answer. “He’s not going to ask me.“

OR

Nicky is finally getting married, the third Fox wedding in as many years. Andrew is just trying to get through it, Neil is just trying to have a good time, but with all this love in the air, their friends keep insisting on asking questions they are Not Ready For. They try to work through it together.

Time is Standing Still by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,441 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil have a daughter, and she is an actual ray of sunshine.

Leave Me on the Tracks by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,092 | 1/1)

If this had happened a few years ago, Andrew would have stood by and watched him leave. No argument, no attempted persuasion. Because that’s what people do. They leave, or they treat you badly enough that you leave first. People are never worth the trouble.

But not this time. The past decade with Neil has made Andrew come to terms with the fact that this means something. Andrew is rather shocked to find that he believes he himself should be enough to make Neil stay. That he is worthy of it. That he wants Neil to stay, and he will be damned if he lets him go without a fight. Andrew is asking. And if that won’t make Neil stay, nothing will.

In which Neil tries to protect Andrew, and Andrew tells him to get over his hero complex.

Patch Your Wounds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 2,290 | 1/1)

“Really, Neil,” Andrew drawls. He could have chosen to phrase it as a question, but Neil knows he isn’t surprised. It’s more of an acknowledgement of Neil’s apparent inability to remain injury-free. “You’ve been here for less than forty-five seconds, and you’re already bleeding on my carpet.”

—

In which Neil is a klutz, the cats are a nuisance, and Andrew is his own special brand of helpful.

I Want You To Know by kayxpc (G | 733 | 1/1)

one love, one house by freefall for cats-are-assholes (T | 2,592 | 1/1)

It’s the little things that make an apartment into a home, that make a sequence of moments into a life.

Or, five times Andrew hates that damn couch, and one time he thinks it isn’t so bad.

Missed This (Not as much as You) by kayxpc (E | 2,087 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew finally get a weekend off of their professional teams and pickup exactly where they left off.

Hidden by kayxpc (G | 2,000 | 1/1)

His Father’s Eyes by maeusetod (Not Rated | 3,012 | 1/1)

Sometimes Neil had thought about, when and under which circumstances he would hear the name Nathaniel again, but he had not expected it to happen like this.

Shut Up, Baby by aftgandreil (arituzz) (E | 693 | 1/1)

“Can you not call me Josten when we are about to have sex?” Neil protests, tugging the hem of his shirt up and over his head.

“What do you want me to call you, then? Asshole?” Andrew says with a smirk on his face, already taking his boxers off.

“Fuck, no. Just–” The advances they’ve made so far have been amazing, Neil thinks, engraving the sight of his naked lover in his head. He can’t help biting his lower lip at the vision in front of him. They’ve come this far, which is more than Neil could have ever hoped for. He guesses it won’t hurt to try for a tinsy little bit more. Locking his eyes with Andrew’s, he says, “Call me baby.”

restless by wesninski for lorcathegreat (G | 2,121 | 1/1)

It’s an expression of restlessness, the kind of bout of spontaneous recklessness at which Neil has always excelled. A new city with new teammates and a new apartment and new stress, and Neil turns to Andrew one summer night, the smell of cigarette smoke mingling with the perfume of Andrew’s flowers on the balcony because they haven’t picked the lock to the roof yet, and says, “let’s get out of here.”

Or: Andrew and Neil go on a road trip and bring the cats along. They should have just found a cat sitter.

if things went differently by yuhee (T | 1,810 | 1/1)

The day Neil Josten disappeared on the Foxes, he had died in a fire incident along with his father and his men. Or so they said. Because Andrew now sees the man in flesh and bones at a city in England after two years.

this place is a shelter by Joana789 (T | 1,786 | 1/1)

”Well,” Andrew says, and the answer feels raw on his tongue. ”Someone has to make sure you don’t run again.”

ask me no questions (and i might not cuss you out) by WingsOfWax (T | 2,77 | 1/1)

Neil’s and Andrew’s relationship becomes public - without their permission. It’s annoying because now they have to actually deal with it. Neil gets more than a little rude when someone asks the wrong kind of question.

"Call me Marcus; he’s strong and noble.” by AroPeterWam (E | 6,899 | 1/1)

“Which one is Sir Fat Cat McCatterson? And why does he have a long name? I like the name King Fluffkins, but isn’t that too many noble titles for the cats?” Marcus, slowly coming out of his shell reached under the coffee table for one of the cats. – In which Neil and Andrew come across a boy who might not be like any of their stray cats.

wake your ghost by Frostandcoal (G | 2,741 | 1/1)

“Kevin’s been obsessed with Riko Moriyama his entire life. It’s going to take more than a bullet to stop that.”

The amount of mental energy Kevin has wasted on Riko is like a faucet, and Andrew has yet to see any definitive proof that Kevin’s ready to turn off the pipes.

In which Kevin has Complicated Feelings ™, Neil does not approve, and Andrew does not care. And Andreil!Banter, for it is like crack unto me, and I love them :|

Close & Closer by kayxpc (E | 1,290 | 1/1)

Andrew & Neil map another safe place out in their relationship

You & Me by kayxpc (E | 782 | 1/1)

A bottom Andrew fic because the fandom is in need of more and I couldn’t get it out of my head.

Here With You by kayxpc (G | 295 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil sleep together after being apart for far too long

an acceptable surprise by kayxpc (G | 1,181 | 1/1)

permanent key//permanent home by kayxpc (T | 1,025 | 1/1)

Andrew visits Neil

She Was Found by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,591 | 1/1)

"We’ve been over this and over this. We have looked at it from every possible angle. We agreed on this, that this is what we both want. You agreed to get over your daddy issues, and I agreed to actively ignore every parenting example I’ve ever had. Right?”

Neil nods his head once with a little too much force to be convincing. “Right.”

“Okay,” Andrew says, not really sure if it was loud enough for Neil to hear. He tightens his hand on Neil’s neck, pulling him closer until their foreheads are touching. Neil’s hand has made it up to hang off of his bicep, gripping like it’s the only thing keeping him on the ground. Andrew fights to keep his voice as even as possible. “Neil. You have to tell me that you’re in this all the way. This is permanent. Once we sign those papers, she is ours. Forever. I refuse to send her away. I will not be like them,” he says, fiercely. “Do you want this?”

AKA Piper: The Prequel

Sundays by celestia (G | 887 | 1/1)

A lazy sunday

something just like this by kayxpc (G | 566 | 1/1)

happy holidays from the foxes by artemis_westfor OneSweetMelody (G | 5,446 | 1/1)

This is my gift exchange for Jules, who wanted Fox family bonding during the holiday/post-grad! A fic set in the future after the books, when all the Foxes have their kids. They have a yearly reunion during the holidays! Soft andreil living their happy life, Andrew healing and having a better relationship with Aaron and Nicky, everyone is happy and sappy. Merry Christmas!

Always by merlypops for badtemperblue (G | 583 | 1/1)

“Am I annoying you?” “You always do,” Andrew said, cradling Neil’s cheek gently before he shoved his face away again. “Always, Josten.” Neil’s heart squeezed in his chest with something that felt dangerously like happiness. He was glad that name was still alive. He was glad he was still around to hear it. He was glad Andrew wasn’t gone.

Neil and Andrew on a plane. Fluff ensues.

smile, smile, smile by mikeymomoo (G | 744 | 1/1)

andrew is getting groceries and a fan spots him. he fucks with him.

All We Ever Knew by OrdinaryVegan (G | 1,317 | 1/1)

Robin comes to Neil for life advice, and he is surprisingly helpful. 

Phone Calls by celestia (G | 3,339 | 1/1)

It’s Andrew’s birthday. Even though he and Neil don’t celebrate birthdays, Andrew always gets three phone calls on his birthday.

tell me pretty lies by kayxpc (G | 754 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil apartment shop after Andrew graduates.

out & proud by kayxpc (G | 1,417 | 1/1)

Same sex marriage is finally legalized in Germany and the foxes come to support Nicky and Erik! Lots of love and happiness in this fic, angst who?

Eventually by writerforlife (T | 850 | 1/1)

Eventually, Andrew Minyard found his version of happiness.

Weddings in Germany by kayxpc (G | 978 | 1/1)

all the foxes visit Germany for Nicky and Eriks wedding! :) pure andreil fluff ahead

New Places by Q_Jem_Bee (M | 937 | 1/1)

That was the greatest thing about this, about them.

They had all the time in the world.

[Podfic] right side of rock bottom byfrecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (M | 20 | 1/1)

Author’s summary: Neil thinks it might be the first time he’s taken a breath in days.

He hadn’t realised it because he’d been so caught up in packing and saying goodbye to everyone but now that it’s over he remembers his self-imposed countdown was meant to be up by now. It’s the end of the school year and five months ago, he thought he’d be dead by now.

Instead he has a team and a future and a home and Andrew.

(The last two might be interchangeable.)

Permanence by justapipe-dream (ginita105) (T | 702 | 1/1)

Neil wasn’t the reason for Andrew’s newfound stability, but he had been the eye opener. Neil had taught him that not all humans wanted to break the glass walls he built around himself, some had the decency to find the door and knock.

For the Vagabonds by OrdinaryVegan (T | 1,301 | 1/1)

Neil and Andrew versus the Maserati and the mountains.

Out by Q_Jem_Bee, shewhoisntnamed44 (G | 4,378 | 1/1)

Chris was lucky enough to have a co-worker who Neil Josten owed a favour to – and was about to launch her journalism career through the roof.

Beg and Borrow and Steal by OrdinaryVegan (T | 3,349 | 1/1)

Andrew and Neil are dragged into a school dance by their certified Sassmaster and Ray of Sunshine daughter.

pull me back by thetinyconstellation for lethargicawe (T | 2,032 | 1/1)

Neil has a bad day and his boyfriends do what they can to help. Well, if he lets them.

Children of the Universe by aceaaronminyard (necklace) (Not Rated | 1,630 | 1/1)

in which aaron and andrew figure their shit out with only a minimal amount of bruises

-

“If Aaron is being honest, Andrew looks like a spawn of Death herself; dark and weathered and just as lethal. Aaron smiles cruelly at the glare Andrew fixes him, and for the first time in months, feels galaxies explode in his lungs and make a home under his fingernails.”

mel i mató by R_Gunns (T | 1,934 | 1/1)

Being away from Andrew was harder than Neil had anticipated. Missing him was loud, thinking about him was like a cacophony of sounds, a discordant mess of sensory memories that Neil couldn’t make sense of.

(Neil’s final year at Palmetto is over, and he’ll be moving in with Andrew soon. In the meantime, he pines.)

home (is whenever i’m with you) by nightquills for apear55 (G | 2,067 | 1/1)

It’s been weeks since he saw Andrew last, and Neil can’t wait to finally see him in person, have him near, hear his voice without the tinny echo of a phone call between them.

Neverland is home to lost boys like me byjustapipe-dream (ginita105) (G | 627 | 1/1)

‘Oh, how lucky you are,’ it said, ‘Two lost boys found their Neverland in each other.’

proper punishment for an angel by artemis_west (E | 5,912 | 1/1)

Neil’s mouth gets him in trouble. What else is new?

In which… by Nikotheamazingspoonklepto (Not Rated | 22,238 | 1/1)

…the Foxes get the love they deserve. ~ This fic is a story of growth, character development, and happiness, where Neil loves his Fox family in varying degrees, ranging from platonic to romantic or sexually. Beginning at the start of Neil’s Sophomore year at PSU, he is becoming more confident, self-assured, and a happy person, supported by his original Fox family and learning how to be a leader toward the six Freshman that arrived at PSU.

Ice Cream by kayxpc (E | 944 | 1/1)

Nora’s tweets have inspired andreil smut. It’s what they deserve.

[Podfic] The Name Game by frecklebombfic (frecklebomb) for Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard) (G | 18 | 1\1)

Author’s summary: What happens when Andrew and Neil change the names on their jerseys.

Independence Day by imagined_melody (G | 1,054 | 1/1)

Neil Josten graduates from Palmetto State University on May 12—five years to the day after he arrived.

In which a life transition falls on an important date, and Neil deals with the prospect of his life changing again.

To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it bywesninskids (Not Rated | 2,203 | 1/1)

Some nights, Kevin Day jerks awake with the weight of his past. These nights, Neil’s there to pull him back to the present.

Sunday Mornings by cleopatras (T | 1,178 | 1/1)

how Neil and Andrew spend a Sunday morning in their home in San Clemente

three keys by lovelyloss (T | 516 | 1/1)

andrew thinks about the three keys neil and him share. [my descriptions are bad whoops]

Another Lonely Christmas by SpookyMiscreant (G | 1,112 | 1/1)

This is a gift for ten-paces-fire for the aftg winter exchange! Kevin is stuck playing Exy overseas instead of in Columbia with his family for christmas.

this is it by morticianists (T | 207 | 1/1)

the future isn’t as bleak as it used to be.

Neil is forbidden to have a relationship with Andrew by his new contract by Vinjana (G | 586 | 1/1)

Neil, who joined Andrew’s team, doesn’t read his contracts…

a haze of fleeting moments by luna_lovegood (G | 2,666 | 1/1)

Renee looked at her as she sat up on the couch and undid her braid, eyes bright and lips stained red. “Alright,” Renee agreed. “That sounds like fun. Do you have any nail polish?”

“Chanel or Essie?” Allison shot back and smirked.

(Or, five moments Renee spent with people she cared about.)

“Why did you name it Burrito?’ by AroPeterWam (Not Rated | 6,828 | 1/1)

“So, is this language barrier ever going to end?” It was Dan who spoke, seemingly entertained by them as she rubbed her temples. – Marcus meets the Foxes and other issues his dads help him through.

You Found Me by howmanyshipscanashippership ( T | 1,539 | 1/1 )

Andrew wakes up a few days after the Foxes win the championships from a nightmare. He wants to look to Neil for comfort and wonders when that became a thing. He falls back asleep and remembers various scenes from when Andrew first met Neil and then things some more about that. Andrew never says to Neil "I love you" but it is heavily implied.... so cannon compliant.

#masterlist #postcanon #i am so sorry this took forever but phew there was a lot of them #andreil #andrewminyard #neiljosten #kandreil #kevinday #renison #reneewalker #allisonreynolds #theme:postcanon

[strawberry--bride]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sharon’s Route [DARK EPILOGUE]

*FLASHBACK STARTS*

Location: Kitchen

Mother: Ready...?

She places a large cake on the table.

*Thud*

Father: Go ahead, open your eyes!

Little girl: Wah...~! 

Mother & Father: Happy birthday!

Little girl: A strawberry cake!

Father: I can’t believe my little girl is turning five years old already.

Mother: Fufu, they do grow up fast.

Father: Come on, blow out the candles and make a wish!

Little girl: Mmh! ...Phewー!

*Clap clap clap*

Mother: Of course, we got you a present as well!

Father: It’s small, but we think you’ll like it a lot.

They hand her the present.

Little girl: Let’s see...

*Rustle rustle*

Little girl: Ah...

Mother: What do you think?

Little girl: It’s a strawberry! ...Looks yummy~

Father: Haha, don’t eat that one. It’s a hair clip after all.

Mother: We wanted to give you something you could keep on you at all times. That way, there will always be a part of us with you, even when we’re apart.

Little girl: Mommy! Can you put it in my hair?

Mother: Of course. Hold still one second, okay?

*Rustle*

Father: Look at that! Our little strawberry!

Little girl: Does it look good?

Mother: Fufu, why don’t we take a picture to remember today?

Little girl: Yes!

Father: Let me get the camera!

Little girl: Mama, papa!

Mother: Hm? 

Father: What’s wrong?

Little girl: ーー Thank you. I love you!

Mother & Father: Haha...

Mother: We love you too.

Father: In the past, the present ー and in the future. 

Mother: You were everything we could ever wish for. 

Our cute, little...

ーー Nozomi (*). 

*FLASHBACK ENDS*

Location: Sakamaki manor ;;  Sharon’s room

*Creaaak*

Sharon: Nn...I can’t sleep.

She sits up on the bed.

Sharon: ( In the end, I never found my hair clip... )

Sharon reached underneath her pillow, clutching a photograph against her chest.

*Rustle*

Sharon: Mom, dad...

I’m sorry. The hair clip you gave me...I lost it.

( I always thought that as long as I had that hair clip, there would always be a part of them with me. )

( So what should I do now...? )

( Aside from this picture and mom’s recipe book, I barely have anything left of my past... )

Perhaps this is a sign...

A sign that it’s time to move on.

*Knock knock*

Sharon: ...!!

( Who could that be...? )

Coming!

She runs over to the door to open it.

Subaru: ...Yo.

Sharon: ...Subaru-kun? What brings you here?

Subaru: ...Nothin’ special. Besides, you’re our prey, so I shouldn’t have to justify myself!

Sharon: R-Right! ...Come on in.

( I better not upset him. I don’t want a hole in my bedroom wall... )

Subaru steps inside the room.

Subaru: ...Here.

Sharon: Eh?

Subaru: This is yours, right?

Sharon: That’s...!!

*Rustle*

Sharon: My hair clip...! Where did you find it!?

Subaru: The entrance hall. Don’t leave your shit layin’ ‘round. You’re lucky I’m the one who picked it up this time. 

Sharon: Thank you so much! I honestly don’t know how to repay you...I thought I had lost it forever.

Subaru: Haah? ...’s fine. Besides, don’t make such a big deal out of a hair clip.

Sharon: I’m sure it’s nothing but an ordinary hair clip to others, but it holds a special meaning for me.

ーー This hair clip was given to me by my late parents.

Subaru: ...

Sharon: No other hair clip could ever replace it. ーー So thank you, I mean it.

Subaru: Che...

Sharon: Are you sure there’s no way I could return the favor?

Subaru: ...Oi, do you understand what you’re saying?

Sharon: Eh?

Subaru: There’s only one thing a Vampire could want from a human, right?

*THUD*

Sharon: ...!?

( H-He pinned me against the door...!? )

Subaru: I’m not all that thirsty right now, but since you insist...Hehe.

Sharon: W-Wait! I neverーー

Subaru: Too late to back out now.

He leans in close.

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...Hah?

Sharon: ...?

( What’s wrong? He’s staring right at me... )

Subaru: You...

...Tsk!

*RIIIIIP*

Sharon: Kyah!

( My nightgown...! )

Subaru: I knew it...

Sharon: (  Ah... )

( Those marks... )

( That’s where Shuu-san bit me earlier... )

Subaru: Reiji...? No, Shuu...? 

Tsk. You gave me a whole sentimental speech ‘bout your hair clip earlier, but instead of actually lookin’ for it, you were lettin’ that guy feed off you, huh?

Sharon: N-No, Iーー!

Subaru: What? Trying to make excuses now? These marks don’t lie though.

I bet you enjoyed it, didn’t you? Heh. All of you human chicks are the same.

I don’t like the idea of havin’ someone else’s leftovers, but since you’re so persistent ‘bout thanking me, I’ll give you these fangs.

ーー Right here.

Subaru bites her.

Sharon: Ah...!

( His fangs...are sinking inside my shoulder... )

( It hurts...! )

Subaru: Nnh...Mm...

Sharon: Uu...

Subaru: ーー Hah! ...Not bad for some dull human.

It flashes black before her eyes for a few seconds.

Sharon: ( Huh...? )

Subaru: ...?

Sharon: ( I feel a little...light-headed for some reason... )

( Could it be because I had my blood sucked twice on the same day...? )

Subaru: Oi...

Sharon: ( It’s no use...My consciousness is slipping... )

Everything fades to black as she collapses.

*Thud*

Subaru: ーー Oi!!

Monologue

Amidst my fading consciousness,

I could have sworn I heard Subaru-kun’s voice,

calling out for me.

ー No, the name falling from his lips.

Isn’t who I truly am. 

Or is it? 

At this point,

I no longer know myself. 

What I do know,

is when I opened my eyes again,

I was met with the familiar warmth and softness of my bed.

*Rustle*

Sharon: Nn...

*Rustle rustle*

She opens her eyes in her room.

Sharon: ...My bed? How did I...?

Subaru: Che. You’re finally awake? Took you long enough.

Sharon: Subaru-kun...

( Right. I started feeling faint right after Subaru-kun sucked my blood. )

( Does that mean he’s the one who carried me back to bed? )

Subaru: Honestly, you humans are way too frail. 

You lose a few drops of blood and immediately collapse.

Sharon: ( I’m sure I lost more than just a few drops... )

( However, despite his complaints, he actually stayed my by side until I woke up. )

...Thank you.

Subaru: H-Haah!? Why are you thankin’ me!? I only stayed ‘cause I had nothin’ better to do! Don’t get the wrong idea!

Sharon: ...Fufu.

Subaru: What’s so funny!?

Sharon: Oh, nothing...~ 

Subaru: ...Che. Seems like you’ll be fine. I’m leavin’ then.

Sharon: Mmh. I’ll be okay.

Once again, thank you so much for returning my hair clip.

Subaru: ...Whatever.

Subaru leaves the room.

Sharon: Phew...

( I still feel a little sluggish. I should get some more rest. )

*Rustle*

Hm...?

( Ah. The photo. I must have forgotten to put it back earlier. )

Sharon returns family photo to the recipe book before slipping it underneath her pillow.

Sharon: There we go...

She reaches for the hair clip on her bedside table, pinning it to her side bangs.

*Rustle*

Sharon: Welcome back...Mom, dad.

ーー DARK EPILOGUE: END ーー

<- [ Dark 10 ] [ Maniac Prologue ] ->

Writer’s notes

(*) Sharon’s birth name is Nozomi (望実) written with the characters for ‘hope/wish’ and ‘sincerity/honesty’. 

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers oc #diabolik lovers custom route #sharon's route #(( this is a very important chapter tbh <u< )) #(( it reveals some extremely important information about Sharon ))

[lumosinlove]

Sweater Weather

WARNING: struggles with homophobia and past abuse.

part xv

Remus had his head in Lily’s lap, the TV on a commercial break from the All-Stars game, when there was a knock at the door. Remus’ head ached, but he raised it anyway at the delusional thought that it might be Sirius, despite knowing exactly where he was. He remembered a similar knock, one that had actually revealed Sirius, who had fallen straight into his arms. And Remus had been there for him.

“Do you want me to get it?” Lily asked gently, her hands in Remus’ hair.

“I will,” Remus sighed, and sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Sorry that’s probably not a comfortable position for you and the baby.”

James appeared from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel. “Do you want me to get it?”

“I’ll do it,” Remus smiled a little, standing. “Thanks for getting the dishes, Pots, really.”

“No problem,” James shrugged.

Another knock sounded and Remus called out that he was coming.

“Probably just one of those salespeople,” Remus sighed as he turned the lock. “Someone always falls for it and lets them in—”

Remus’ words died in his mouth in surprise.

Finn sent him a hesitant smile from the other side of the door, Leo mirroring it.

“Sup, Loops,” Finn said.

“I…Hi, boys.”

James poked his head around Remus to see.

“Cubs?” James questioned.

“Pots?” Leo said.

“And Lily!” Lily called from the living room.

Remus stared at them. “What are you doing here? Are you…”

And Remus realized. How could he have forgotten? Logan.

He didn’t know what was going on with these three, but maybe he was about to find out.

Finn held up a bag. “We brought tacos.”

“You just missed it, I made dinner,” James said.

“Oh,” Finn lowered the bag slowly. “Well…phew.”

James scoffed. “Thankless little rookie babies.”

“I’m not a rookie,” Finn pointed out. “More tacos for us.”

“Still.”

Remus blinked back to life. “Jeez, sorry, come in, guys.”

Finn walked past him only to receive a slug on the arm from James, and Leo put his hand on Remus’ shoulder as they followed James and Finn back into the living room.

“How are you?”

Remus looked up at him with a shaky smile and raised a shoulder. Leo nodded, understanding.

“We haven’t talked,” Remus found himself saying, throat closing a little at just the words. “I don’t really—Things are really just…busy right now.”

“I’m so sorry, Loops,” Leo said quietly.

“Don’t make excuses for him,” Finn said as he unpacked the take-out containers.

Lily spread her hands. “Thank you, O’Hara.”

“I’m not,” Remus said. “I didn’t expect smooth sailing, alright? Look, it’s…” Remus sat down. “It’s more complicated than that. Is there a point where I’m going to stop cutting him slack? Of course. But I need you guys to trust that I know when that point is. That point isn’t now, when he got brutally outed, which he was terrified of, and then had to go to one of the most public events in hockey in the same fucking breath.”

Remus stared around at them all. Finn was still holding the same take-out box.

“Okay?” Remus said.

“You got outed, too,” Leo said quietly.

“Yes,” Remus said over an exhale. “But I was ready. Not the way I would have chose, but I was. That’s the difference.”

The room got quiet again. Remus glanced at the television, but a commercial was still playing.

So,” Finn began slowly. “Is this a good time to say that me and Leo—”

Lily gasped, clapping her hands to her chest. “I knew it. Wait—”

“…are dating Logan?”

Lily’s gasp turned to one of surprise, slow and drawn out. She put her hand on her belly, eyes wide as she looked between them.

“Oh,” she breathed. “Yes.”

James put his towel on his head, pulling at it by his ears. “The cubs?”

Finn gave James a confused look. “Yes? What are you doing?”

“How did that happen?”

“Lots of misunderstanding,” Leo sighed. “And time.”

“Eight years in some cases,” Finn added.

Lily cooed. “Since college, aw, babies. Nut, are you wearing Logan’s hat? I’m going to cry. I’m pregnant so I’m allowed to cry at this.”

Everything Remus wanted to say felt lodged in his chest. He blinked and he saw Sirius’ haunted expression.

“Re?” Leo said hesitantly.

Remus snapped his head up. “Hm?”

“I know this is probably the last thing you’d want to hear,” Leo continued with a glance at Finn. Through the glass coffee table, Remus saw Finn put a hand on Leo’s thigh. “But we really have you to thank. Logan was sort of our missing link, you know? He was…” Scared, Remus knew Leo was about to say. Just like Sirius. But he shifted at the last second. “You really got through to him.”

What Remus couldn’t do for Sirius.

Remus smiled at them, knowing it was probably shadowed with everything bouncing around in his head and chest right now.

“I’m so happy you guys worked it out,” he said, and it was true. “Really, that’s…”

Sirius turning away, disappearing.

“That’s amazing.”

Sirius, the morning after.

Who I love has nothing to—

“Sorry,” Finn said. “Maybe that was…”

“No,” Remus said. “No, I’m glad you told us. I’m glad you’re comfortable, of course I am. I don’t want any of this making you feel like you can’t be yourself.”

“I think it did the opposite, Re,” Lily said gently.

Remus nodded. “Exactly.”

There was another knock on the door. Remus turned around.

“Um,” he said. “I’ll get it? Again, I guess?”

“What’s up, Fruit-loop,” Natalie said when Remus opened the door. Her blonde hair was pulled into a high, messy bun and she was wearing pajamas. “I brought face masks.”

“I brought alcohol,” Kasey said from behind her. He held up a bag. “And candy.”

Remus stared. “I…”

“We brought tacos!” Finn yelled from the living room.

Natalie clicked her tongue, smiling. “I knew I liked that red-head.”

“Sup, Nat,” Remus heard Finn say as he and Kasey watched Natalie walk into the living room from the door.

“You are a walking freckle, O’Hara, but you brought tacos, so it’s okay.”

Finn snorted, and Remus turned back to meet Kasey’s dark eyes.

“Hey, Bliz,” Remus said softly. “Uh, thanks for bringing—”

“He was selfish,” Kasey interrupted him. “And you’re allowed to think that and love him at the same time.”

Remus almost laughed. It seemed that everyone knew Remus loved Sirius except Sirius. Kasey’s words hit like stone, but they were soothing, too. The ache of pressing on a paper cut.

Kasey smiled a little, just a closed upturn of his lips.

“Come on,” he said, and nudged Remus inside the door, closing it behind him. “I make mean cocktails.”

Walking back into the living room, Remus stared around at them all. They were spread out, Kasey in the kitchen unloading what seemed like ten bottles, Natalie and Lily with their arms around each other on the couch. James and Finn seemed to be seeing who could build the biggest taco, Finn leaning back into Leo’s chest and feeding him chips.

Natalie pointed between them. “When?”

“A while,” Finn said. “Logan, too.”

Natalie’s smile was approving. “Hot.”

Leo pressed his finger over his lips, and Natalie pretended to zip her mouth closed.

Remus let out a breath. He had thought he would want to be alone, but this felt—better. The chatter, the laughter…it distracted him. Sirius wasn’t his entire world, no matter how big a part of it he occupied. Remus liked being reminded of that.

He took his place back on Lily’s other side and leaned into her.

“And welcome back to all our viewers,” the television said. “To our 2020 All-Star Weekend, where you can see your favorites present their best skills, and dream lines compete against each other.”

Remus sucked in a breath.

“You gonna be okay?” Lily said quietly. “Watching this?”

“Yes,” Remus said firmly. He wanted to see Sirius’ face.

It was true, Remus did have a point when he would stop cutting Sirius slack.

He would wait, but not forever. And not for the wrong reasons.

He had told Sirius that himself.

“Red carpet first, right?” Finn asked through a mouthful of chips.

“Yep,” Leo said.

“Okay,” James said, staring at Finn and Leo. “I love this. Where would Logan be sitting right now? Like, does it get crowded?”

“Imagine if you had two Lilys, James,” Finn said with a raised eyebrow.

James blinked for a moment, then flushed behind his glasses. “Fuck.”

Finn grinned. “Yeah.”

James took another bite of taco and chewed slowly. “That’s so much love.”

“Yeah,” Leo said softly, and pressed his cheek to the top of Finn’s head.

“What we’ll be doing tonight is welcoming all of our players, who were voted in by the fans, of course,” said the announcer. “And there is our nice red carpet. We’ll see who arrives first shortly, I’m sure.”

“I am so excited to see Crosby,” Lily sighed. “That man’s butt, my god.”

James made a disgruntled sound.

“Love you, Potter,” Lily smiled.

“It is a legendary ass,” Kasey said.

“Me and Kase rate asses every year,” Natalie said. “I think Crosby won.”

“He wins every year,” Kasey said. “Deservingly so.”

“That’s true.”

They watched the Stars arrive, then the Bruins. Zibanejad  and Panarin came from the Rangers.

Sirius and Logan were one of the last team members to show up and, ironically, they did so at the same time as the Snakes.

“Oh, Jesus fuck,” Finn breathed. They had finished their tacos and Finn was still sitting against Leo’s chest while Leo leant back against the couch, their hands laced on Finn’s stomach.

Remus watched, holding his breath, as Sirius and Logan got out of the car.

“Our boys,” Kasey said. “And…”

From just beside them, Snape and Regulus emerged, straightening their suit.

James and Finn hissed loudly.

“The snakes,” Leo finished.

Remus only half heard them, too focused on the camera flashing to a close up of Sirius’ face. His heart positively yearned.

Sirius looked exhausted. His eyes were a dull gray, hair curling agonizingly soft over his forehead. He was wearing a black suit, lapels velvet.

“Sirius Black with the fashion statement,” one of the announcers laughed. Remus couldn’t even tell them apart. “I guess we should expect that now.”

“Oh, fuck you!” Natalie yelled. “Fuck you, you stereotyping ass-hat.”

It rolled Remus’ stomach, but not as much as Sirius’ expression when he saw his brother and Snape. It was only on the screen for a second, his clenched jaw and unsteady eyes, before it switched to Logan.

“Oh, baby,” Finn sighed. “Look at that glare.”

It was true. Logan’s stare, aimed at Snape, was menacing.

“And there’s the League’s oldest and most famous rivalry right there,” the commentators said with a laugh. “Arriving at the same time. And, of course, Sirius Black who, as you all might know, has made a bit of a splash in the news recently when photos of him kissing another man were leaked to the media and turned out a major Twitter trend. That man is Remus Lupin.”

Remus’ stomach clenched. He had known they might bring him up, but he didn’t really think—

“Now, what do we know about Remus Lupin?” the announcer continued. “Not much. He’s on the Lions training staff, working, shall we say, closely with the players. And, well, the man was one heck of a hockey player himself. Let us play you the tapes we dredged up from Lupin’s college days at the University of Wisconsin.”

“What the hell,” Remus breathed, tucking his knees to his chest and hugging them. He felt Lily glance at him.

The screen faded away from the carpet and suddenly Remus was staring at an old memory. The footage was a little grainy, but he saw himself—could remember the feeling of himself—sprinting up the ice, skates cutting in. He took one player down, another, and scored. The tape cut and he won a Face-off, knocking it back to—

“Is that Greyback?” Finn leaned forward. “Fenrir Greyback?”

Remus swallowed. “Yes.”

“You played with—”

The announcers came back into view, grinning at each other.

“Pretty great. Unfortunately, Lupin was injured just before his draft eligibility, but, rumor has it, he was set for first. Would you look at that, Rob?”

“I know, John. Well, looks like he found another way to get some fame, eh?”

The two laughed. The living room was dead silent.

“Up next, we’ll get to talk to some of the stars. We’ll be right back after this break.”

“Excuse me,” Remus managed.

“Remus,” James called.

But Remus was already up, walking quickly out of the living room and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Remus squeezed his eyes shut, then open. He fumbled for his phone, sinking down to the floor against the door with his knees against his chest. His thumb missed the call button twice, but finally the screen went dark with the call display.

It rang and rang. And rang. Remus rubbed his thumb along his neck. Of course, Sirius wouldn’t answer. Look what he was in the middle of.

“Hey.”

Remus closed his eyes.

“You’ve reached the Sirius Black,” James’ voice said on Sirius’ voicemail. “I can’t come to the phone because either girls are proposing marriage, or I’m scorning a hat trick. Maybe both! Leave a message!”

The beep was piercing, for the thirty-seventh time. He’d never left a message before.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered into the speaker. He pressed his forehead to his knees. “I know you’re—busy and I’m not going to beg you to talk to me, I…”

Remus took a breath.

“Just re-watch your arrival. I’m not going to beg, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for you to see. See if you really care what those sort of people think about you.”

Remus hung up.

“Remus?”

It was Leo’s voice through the door.

Remus let out a steadying breath, scrubbing his face before standing and opening the door.

“Sorry,” Remus said. “I’m good, I just—I haven’t seen those in a long time, and then the two guys… I just needed a second.”

Leo had his hands in the front pocket of his sweatshirt, Logan’s hat backwards on his head, his blond hair fluffing out over the adjustment strap.

Leo nodded. “Do you want us all to clear out?”

Remus shook his head. “No.” He looked to the living room where the soft faces of his friends were peering at him. “No, I really don’t. C’mon let’s watch. I—Crosby does have a good ass and, you know…at least I can say that out loud now.”

Kasey laughed, pumping his fist in the air.

Remus settled himself on the couch again as they waited for the commercials to end.

“We’re cuddling too much,” Remus heard Finn whisper to Leo.

“No,” Remus said, hands out. “Please cuddle. Really, that’s not what’s wrong, I’m so happy for you guys.”

“It’s so cute,” James mumbled. “Lily, can we cuddle?”

“No, I’m cuddling Remus. We’ll cuddle later, baby.”

James nodded. “Kasey?”

Kasey raised an eyebrow from his chair. “You want to sit in this chair with me?”

James shrugged. “You can come on the floor.”

“I am a net minder,” Kasey said. “We do not sit on the floor.”

Natalie laughed, peeling a face mask out of its package. “Snob.”

Kasey winked at her.

Remus let out a breath, and smiled at Lily when she smiled at him. Things would happen, one way or another.

The ball was in Sirius’ court, the puck in his zone.

~

Sirius eyed the photographers and interviewers. His stomach churned. He had barely said two words to Logan, who had basically gotten right off the plane, into his suit, and into the car with Sirius, Minnie, and Logan’s agent, Clyde. They’d bumped fist, but the most Sirius had received from Logan was a hello and a serious of unreadable looks. It was those looks that disquieted Sirius more than the reporters. If Logan hated him—

“Hey,” Logan said as they were ushered forward onto the red carpet. Sirius was tense with Snape and his brother at their backs.

He looked at Logan.

“We’re talking later, okay? If we get split up, text me when you’re back at the hotel.”

Sirius blinked. It was—harsh for Logan. It was the way he spoke on the ice.

“I—okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

Dread pooled in Sirius’ gut. But Logan wouldn’t want to talk if he didn’t like who Sirius was anymore, right?

Logan clapped him on the shoulder. “I have your back, Cap,” he said, and then he was pulled away to do his own run of interviews before Sirius could respond. Minnie approached him while Sirius was still standing there, mouth open, expression still changing.

“Right,” she sighed. “Well, here we are.”

Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m sorry, Minnie. I’m such a headache.”

“Stop that nonsense, Sirius,” Minnie said, patting his arm. “You are the most real person I have ever met. Snapping at stupid questions instead of being a drone. It was unfair how the world thanked you for it, but I believe in you. You have a game plan, I’m assuming, although you refuse to tell me anything about it?”

Sirius sighed. “Sirius Black being gay is news. Sirius Black telling the media to go fuck themselves isn’t.”

“Excuse me,” an aid came up to them, headset on. “We’re ready for you on the carpet now.

“Thank you,” Sirius said, and he had just started forward when Minnie lay a gentle hand on his chest.

She pressed her lips together. “You remember what Alice said. This could be important to a lot of people. That includes yourself, my boy.”

Sirius swallowed hard. He nodded, quiet, and then followed the aid into the camera fray.

~

“Logan Tremblay, holding his fucking own,” Kasey slow clapped.

“You mean holding his fucking tongue,” Natalie said. “That’s kid’s a fire cracker.”

Finn, gestured to the television with his ice cream. “He was the perfect medium between civil and simmer. And now I can tell you all that I bought him that suit when we were eighteen. Well, I was eighteen. He was seventeen.”

“Does Tremz know we all know?” James questioned.

Leo nodded. “His plan was just to start making out in the locker room. I thought we should go for more of a verbal approach first.”

“I was okay with either,” Finn added, then looked at Remus. “I’m sorry I’m eating all your ice cream.”

Remus waved him off, heart still ringing with Logan’s words to the third interview he had.

You guys wouldn’t care if he had a girlfriend, Logan had said with a shrug. Why are you asking me that question with such a crazy look on your face? And then, finally. I support my Captain.

Sirius had been too far away to hear. He hoped Minnie played it for him later.

“But if that was one of Logan’s first interviews, that means…” Lily trailed off.

Sirius.

“I hope he knows what’s coming,” he said instead. By the looks of him, shoulders hunched, eyes guarded, he did.

All Remus wanted was for Sirius to talk to him about it. It was like a single, hooked claw dragging its way through him.

The screen flipped to Sirius, his gray eyes focused on the reporter’s grin. His own smile was small. The reporter threw him softball after softball, and Sirius answered them shortly. Remus waited, waited for it to happen, for the interview to take the turn they all expected.

But the reporter held out his hand. “Great to have you in the League, my friend. Have a great weekend, eh?”

Sirius stared at the hand, the camera zooming in a little.

“Ah, yes,” Sirius said haltingly, and took his hand. “Thank you.”

Remus sat forward.

“Well, that was okay,” Leo said, sounding out of breath.

“Yeah…” Remus said. He wasn’t ready to believe it was over yet, though.

“So, Sirius,” another reporter said. “You’ve been in the news lately, huh?”

“Oh, here we fucking go, eh?” Kasey gestured angrily at the screen.

“I’m in the news a lot,” Sirius said blankly. “More than I’d like.”

She laughed. “But first openly gay NHL player. That’s got to feel good?”

Sirius stared at her.

“He wasn’t,” Remus sat back again, cheeks hot as he stared at the microphone that was being held closer and closer to Sirius’ mouth. “You fucking lunatic, what is open about this to you?”

“Preach, Loops,” Natalie said, leaning over to pat his knee.

“I’m looking forward to a good weekend,” Sirius said. “Playing some good hockey.”

“I—”

But Sirius was already walking away, in fact, walking past all the cameras. The television camera caught some reporters staring at Minnie with alarmed eyes, angry at missing their interview with Sirius Black.

They could just see a glimpse of Minnie’s head following Sirius as the camera tracked his back all the way into the building.

Commercials filled the room.

“Wowza,” Finn said. “Okay.”

“I think it’s good he didn’t stick around for those guys,” Leo said. “I mean, he shouldn’t be made to talk about it like that, you know?”

“Yeah, maybe he should talk to me first,” Remus grumbled and took a long sip of his cocktail.

“Yes, Lupin,” Natalie clapped. “Bitch all you want, we know we all love him. It’s all good.”

Remus did want that, at least a little. It even made him smile, Natalie’s words. But most of him was longing for Sirius, for his phone to ring. He kept it close, even as the screen played another two hours of Sirius and all the other All-Stars signing puck after puck, doing stupid game after stupid game, preparing for the skills competitions tomorrow, and the three-on-three games the day after that.

~

Sirius was exhausted. The day had been camera after camera, signature after signature. He could have fallen asleep on his feet, but Logan’s promise kept his adrenaline up. Remus’ text, too.

Thankfully, he and Logan had shared a car back to the hotel.

“Your room,” Logan said simply, and pressed the elevator button.

They were mostly quiet on their way up, and Sirius’ hands fumbled a little with the keycard as he let Logan in. His suitcase was still zipped up where the bell-boy had left it, and Logan took his jacket off, tossing it onto the bed. Sirius heard the door shut behind them, and then it was quiet.

“Là,” Logan sighed, crossing the room and then turning around to face Sirius. “Straight to it, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Sirius breathed.

“I don’t want to sound like I know more than you. Because I don’t. I really, really don’t, but, this is just something I think you should know.”

Sirius looked at Logan carefully, wondering what he meant.

“Knowing about you, knowing that you’re…” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Gay,” Sirius said.

“Gay,” Logan finished. “Cap, it,” he looked around, but they were alone. He took a step forward. “Sirius, it did more for me than I could ever tell you.”

Sirius felt the words sink in slowly. He looked at Logan. Really looked at him. Brighter. He stood straighter. He looked more focused.

“You mean you’re…”

“I get that you think you’re the only one, that you’re alone in all of this,” Logan said. “I thought that. I felt that. It nearly crushed me. But you aren’t. I’m not alone, either. Neither of us are alone, but…but you’re on one hell of a precipice.” 

Sirius knew what he meant.

“I ran from him.”

“Yeah,” Logan said. “What the fuck, Sirius?”

“I know,” Sirius felt like the air was leaving the room. “I’m horrible.”

“You aren’t,” Logan said, and looked up at Sirius. “But, that was. That was horrible. But you must have talked, I mean, it’s been…what? Two days?”

Shame burned Sirius through and through. “No,” he choked out. “We haven’t. He’s—he’s waiting for me—”

The words hurt. Remus seemed always to be waiting for Sirius, and Sirius always asking Remus to wait. It had seemed romantic, under the veil of Christmas and gifts. It didn’t feel that way now. Sirius felt selfish and cruel. He was.

“I left—” Logan reached up, as if to take off his hat that wasn’t there, and then smoothed his unruly hair instead. “I left Finn so many times.”

Sirius jerked his head up. Finn.

“And I was so scared and guilty because of that, that I left Leo, too.”

“Leo?” Sirius said, confused. “You…wait, I don’t—”

“Both of them,” Logan said simply. “Yeah, it’s…” despite everything, Logan smiled. “It’s…yeah. It’s us.”

Three, Sirius thought. On his own team, and he—he had thought—

“How could you do that?” Logan said softly. “How could you do that to him?”

Sirius stared at Logan, throat closed. He swallowed over the bile.

A mistake. He had made a mistake, of course he had made a mistake, he always made—

“Cap, I saw you,” Logan stepped forward. “I saw you every day and I didn’t know why, but you were happy. You were so fucking happy and I thought maybe you were just…I don’t know. I was jealous, to be honest,” Logan let out a short laugh. “I wanted to know how you did it. And now I see because I did it. I found my…” Logan took a breath, as if this was the first time he was saying it aloud. “I found my two.”

I lost my one, Sirius thought.

“You’re like my brother,” Logan said. “And, growing up with three sisters, I’ve always wanted a brother. I’ve looked up to you since I was, what, in high school? And you deserve that, Cap. You’re good, and you’re kind, and you’re a hell of a hockey player.” Logan shook his head. “But fuck what you did to Remus.”

“I don’t know what to say!” Sirius shouted, and Logan blinked at the suddenness. It had burst out of Sirius, the words hiding until he couldn’t, he couldn’t—

Sirius sat on the end of his bed. He was exhausted, and Logan hated him, and—

The bed dipped beside him and Logan’s arm wrapped around his shoulder. The sudden warmth at his side made Sirius close his eyes, dropping his head.

“Cap,” Logan’s voice was soft. “Merde, this is coming for someone who didn’t say a word about how they felt to the boy the loved for eight fucking years, but, yes, you do know what to say. I always knew what to say, I just couldn’t.”

“I can’t,” Sirius said.

“Sirius, fucking think for yourself,” Logan said, taking hold of Sirius’ shoulders and turning him to the side to face each other. “I said I couldn’t, that doesn’t mean you can’t. We can now. Who the fuck knows what your fucking family said to you all your life, but that doesn’t mean they’re right. All the shitty things Twitter said are wrong—everyone is allowed to be wrong but what the fuck are you doing if you can’t fix things?”

Logan was breathing hard by the end. He swallowed over a dry throat and Sirius watched, stunned. Logan shook his head, eyes bright.

“I saw what happened to you and I got angry and scared. You saw what happened to you and you got scared. You need to get angry. Drop the fucking gloves a little, Black, lose your temper. I’ve seen it before. It’s like a dead point streak mid-season. You fucking accept that you can’t score anymore? No.”

I don’t know how many times you’ve heard that you aren’t good enough. But I’m going to make you forget each one.

“I’m fucking mad at you,” Logan said. “But it’s because I love you. Not because you’re bad or because you’re hopeless, or because you made a mistake. You aren’t a bad person. And you’re allowed to make mistakes.”

Do not make any mistakes, his mother had said.

Logan let go of him, then, and the sat there shoulder to shoulder, quiet. Sirius felt—lighter. He’d never felt that after being yelled at before.

“Tremz,” he began shakily, then cleared his scratchy throat. “I’m…I’m proud of you, you know? If that means anything right now.”

Logan’s voice was thick, too. “Of course it does.”

“You’re right,” Sirius whispered. “You’re right, I…I made a horrible mistake. I had never been so terrified in my life. If I lost the team, I—I don’t know what…” Sirius pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “You all are the only family I ever…”

Logan was quiet for a moment, and then his hand replaced itself on Sirius’ back.

“It’s not just about Remus, huh?”

Sirius let out a sob, let it tear through him, and shook his head.

“Cap,” Logan hushed, and Sirius felt him press his forehead to Sirius’ temple, like they did after a goal sometimes, in a scrimmage, only there was no helmet. No hockey. This was his friend. “You’re our Captain. We gave you that, and we keep you there. We want you there, you’re our leader. You’re our friend.”

“Have you talked to the boys?” Sirius wiped at his eyes, looking at Logan. “Have they said anything?”

“No one’s texted you because Leo thought we should all let you tell us in the way you wanted to,” Logan said. “Not because no one supports you. To be honest, we didn’t think you’d go radio silent for this long when we made that decision, but… And after you didn’t let James in…”

“I have a lot of people to talk to, huh?”

Logan smiled. “Not right now. Right now, you have one person to talk to.”

Sirius smiled, too. “Yeah.”

Fuck, he hadn’t looked at his phone all day.

Logan got up and stretched with a groan. “That media run was hell. Fuck this weekend. If I so much as pull a muscle tomorrow I’m going to murder someone.”

“That’s what we all say,” Sirius stood too. “Tremzy.”

Logan looked up at him.

“I’m really happy for you. You and Finn…and Leo,” Sirius laughed a little. “How did that work out?”

“So much drama,” Logan rolled his eyes. “And moping. And, what’s the word, destin?”

“Fate,” Sirius said.

“Right, fate,” Logan smiled. “See? Not so different from you.”

“Guess not, no.”

“I’m going to call my boys,” Logan said, and held up his phone, shaking it at Sirius. “You call yours.”

Sirius’ heart lurched with guilt, but he nodded. “I will. Really, though, I…I don’t know what I’d be doing now if you weren’t here.”

“Spiraling, like you did after that failed cup run?”

Sirius laughed. “Yes.”

Logan swung his jacket over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow, Cap. I’ll be ready to defend your honor.”

“No, you aren’t allowed to fight because of this.”

“D’accord, d’accord,” Logan waved him off and shut the door.

Sirius stood there, feeling strangely light, given everything. He blinked after Logan for a moment, and vowed to call James, too, who had pounded on his door for hours. He felt stupid and selfish still, but he wanted to apologize. Not hide. But only after. After Remus.

Sirius took his phone from his pocket.

He had a voicemail. Remus hadn’t left a voicemail before. Sirius thought of the cold, formal text. He didn’t know if he could bare to hear that in Remus’ voice, but he clicked listen anyway.

“Sirius,” Remus’ voice came after a second, and Sirius sat down heavily.

I know you’re—busy and I’m not going to beg you to talk to me, I… Just re-watch your arrival. I’m not going to beg, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to fight for you to see. See if you really care what those sort of people think about you.

The phone went dead and Sirius scrambled for his remote.

~

Everyone had left for the night, but the apartment still felt warm from their presence. Remus decided to make himself a bowl of ice cream, but found himself eating straight from the carton instead. Finn really had made all-gone.

He was watching the melted part pool in his spoon when his phone rang. Everything, even the air, seemed to still and cool.

Sirius.

The name flashed at him. He hadn’t dared to put a contact photo, a picture of him that Remus had taken, bare in bed, sleepy eyed and smiling—

Now, maybe he could. One day. Soon. 

Remus pushed himself up to sit on his kitchen counter. He set his ice cream down, feet swinging nervously against the cupboards, and answered the call.

“Hi,” Remus’ voice was shot.

“I didn’t have my phone,” Sirius sounded desperate. Remus’ heart broke. “No, that’s not an excuse, I…Remus—”

“For the last thirty calls, or…”

“I know,” Sirius whispered. “I know, I know, Re, oh god, what they said about you—”

“I’ve been defending you to—to everyone,” Remus’ voice was thick. “Everyone, but I don’t…I can’t…”

“I’m coming home,” Sirius said. “Fuck these games, Remus, I’m coming home.”

Remus didn’t say anything for a long moment. He could picture Sirius there, alone in his hotel room. “I don’t know what to tell you right now, I’m… It hurt, Sirius. You left. You left and then you ignored me.”

“I know I did,” Sirius whispered. “But—”

“You aren’t the only one who this happened to,” Remus said, hushed, and then, even surprising himself, let out a sudden sob. He tried to reign it back in, but he couldn’t. It burned now, hearing Sirius’ voice, being alone. It hurt more than it had. He didn’t know if he had been ignoring it, or pushing through it, or if it was just hearing Sirius know that he had been wrong.

“I know that,” Sirius said. “I do, Remus, I know that. I made a mistake. I made a mistake. The meeting. I should have taken a later flight, too, I should have talked to you. I shouldn’t have run out, that was—I’m—”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone,” Remus replied with a hitch in his words. He stirred the spoon in the melted ice cream, just for something to do, then gave up and fisted his sweatshirt by his neck. “I know I said call me, but I really—I really want it to be us together talking, okay?”

“You mean…after the games?”

Remus took a slow breath. “I’m not just going to say everything’s okay, Sirius. It fucking hurt. All of it. And I know you’re hurting, too. I hate that you’re hurting, too, but…”

“You don’t have to explain,” Sirius felt guilt like it was something crawling inside of him. “I’ll—let me wait for you now.”

Remus let out a breath, remembering the words.

“I…I understand why what happened happened,” Remus said. “I do. Of course, I understand. And all I want is for you to be okay. For us to be okay. I just need my own time, too.”

“I want that. Please, just—let me tell you one thing,” Sirius said. “Is it okay?”

“Yeah,” Remus said softly, curious. “Go for it.”

“I talked to Logan. Well—he also talked to me. Really gave it to me. I deserved it.”

“Don’t put yourself down to me right now,” Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

“I’m not, no, I’m not,” there was a sound like Sirius sitting down on the bed. “I…I won’t explain it all to you now, but I just need you to know that things are clearer for me. I’m…I’m not alone.”

“You never were,” Remus managed.

Remus listened as Sirius’ breathing changed into cries. Remus wanted to hold him tight.

“It’s so good to hear your voice,” Remus said softly. “Be careful, okay? With everyone this weekend. Snape. Regulus.”

Your mother, Remus thought.

“Logan will be with me,” Sirius said, and then added, as if remembering, “and I’ll be with Logan.”

Remus nodded. So Logan had told him.

“Protect each other.”

Sirius nodded. “And everyone else who needs it.”

Remus sucked in a breath, and cradled the phone closer, eyes soft.

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Yeah, baby, everyone else, too.”

At the name, Sirius sounded all but torn apart. He let it out, lungs out racing his heart.

“I miss you,” he choked out. “Am I allowed to say that?”

“Yes,” Remus hushed him. “Sirius, I’m mad, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you. Of course I want you, you’re mine. You’re my wish, okay? This happened because we’re each other’s. We can be—we can be something good that comes out of this, can’t we?”

“Oui, yes, yes,” Sirius said. “I’ll tell you everything, okay?” He sniffed, taking a moment to breathe. “It’s different, hearing these things from my friends. From you.”

“You haven’t had a lot of support, Sirius. I…I get that it’s going to take a second. And so…I’m here, okay? But I’m not here to run back to if you keep leaving me. That wasn’t good. That was…” Remus would never forget that feeling.

“I’ll be better,” Sirius said, and then sucked in a breath. “I mean…for myself. For you.”

Remus nodded, even though he knew Sirius couldn’t see him.

“I’m going to try and sleep,” Sirius said.

“I miss you,” Remus replied.

“I miss you, too,” Sirius said. “So much.”

~

Sirius stepped out of the tunnel and immediately his eyes were drawn by flashes of color near the glass. There were six teenagers standing there. Their cheeks were decked out in painted on rainbow flags, and they were wrapped in them, too, holding paper versions up to the glass with the words HERE FOR #12 on them.

All Sirius could think about was going over there and maybe crying. Instead, he picked up a few pucks to sign.

The locker room had been—intense. There was no way Sirius could have missed the way some guys had moved away from him, avoided him. But others came up and shook his hand. They didn’t say much, but Sirius didn’t really want to be congratulated. The support, even quiet, was enough to keep him on his feet and focused enough to feel like, sure, he could perform some hockey tricks today.

And Remus’ words. We’re each other’s.

“Sometimes I think hockey just isn’t colorful enough, you know?”

When the voice spoke, Sirius’ eyes found the stick that had come into his vision first. The tape wasn’t the usual white or black, but all colors, neatly wrapped and waxed off.

Sirius looked up to find Alex O’Hara grinning widely at him.

“What’s up, Lion?”

“Hi, Alex,” Sirius said faintly, as they tapped helmets.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he gestured to the tape.

Sirius, to his own surprise, let out a laugh. “Of course I don’t, I… I should have thought of it, maybe.”

“You want some?”

Sirius looked at the pucks he was holding, then back at the kids at the glass.

“Yeah,” he nodded, setting the pucks aside for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“Alex,” Logan stopped hard in front of them with a spray of ice. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

Alex laughed, and then leaned in close. “Oh, yeah? More than my brother?”

Logan flushed pink beneath his tan skin. Then, he grinned and punched his arm. “How long have you known?”

Alex scoffed. “Please.”

And so Sirius found himself, sitting beside Logan as they re-taped their sticks with rainbow tape, while millions of cameras and cell-phones watched.

It was terrifying. And wonderful. It was something that went along with the phrase never in a million years, in Sirius’ mind. Only, it was happening now.

“Could I get some of that maybe?”

It was Mika Zibanejad, his hair pulled back beneath his helmet, dark eyes kind and soft.

It was the flood gates.

Sidney Crosby, Kris Letang. Braden Holtby, Nate MacKinnon.

Not every player did it, not by far, but they did have to ask for another roll.

Sirius’ breathing was working against his pounding heart when he took to the ice again, throwing a puck down and watching it bounce darkly between the colors. He smiled, and looked up at the kids behind the glass again.

Silver sharpies were not in short supply, and he fired off six signatures before skating over with them balanced within his arms. They began to pound on the glass as he approached, and he nodded to them. They were hard to hear over the crowd and the announcer’s noise, but he smiled and mouthed thank you, and they seemed to understand. He flipped the pucks over the glass easily, and bumped his fisted glove to it.

They loved him for who he was.

And Logan had been right. His team would, too. The thought that they wouldn’t still chilled him, but there were two sides of the coin now.

It even made him forget about—

“Stop this,” Regulus was there, hissing at him and grabbing him by the arm as he skated back with Logan, who had wandered over to a little boy with a Tremblay sign and jersey.

Sirius stared at his brother, surprised that he’d even approached.

“What are you—” he began, but Logan cut him off.

“Back off,” Logan growled, and gave him a little push. Sirius cursed internally. He didn’t want to start a fight right now.

Regulus ignored him.

“Sirius—” Regulus said quietly. “Think about—”

“Don’t tell me to think about the family,” Sirius practically snarled. “I’m thinking about myself for once. What I want.”

“Think about what you’re doing,” Regulus said, glancing at Logan desperately, like he wanted him to leave. “This is it, if you really—”

Sirius shook his head, yanking out of his brother’s grip. “I tried to take you with me, Reg. I tried so hard. And what did you do?”

“Fuck you,” Logan spat in Regulus’ face. “You call yourself his brother? When was the last fucking time you acted like that? Oh, right, was it when you trashed talked him?”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Regulus growled. He had switched to French now.

“Rookie,” Snape said in English from the outskirts of their triad, eyes on Regulus. “Come on.”

“Daddy’s calling,” Logan snarled.“La marionnette.”

Sirius watched his brother swallow, pale eyes wide and fierce.

Puppet, Logan had said.

“Tremz,” Sirius said, and put a hand on his shoulder.

Regulus looked to Sirius, then.

“Microphone?” he asked.

Regulus was asking if he was mic’d up. Sirius shook his head, and Logan scoffed.

“Little late,” Logan said.

Regulus, once again, ignored him. “Maman est là.”

“Je l’ai deviné,” Sirius had guessed as much.

Logan was still standing between them, but he looked like he wasn’t sure if he should be now.

Regulus pushed forward one stride, and Logan’s glove pressed against his chest. Regulus glared down at him, then turned back to Sirius. He was nearly as tall as him now, but for a single moment, Regulus’ expression flickered. Sirius saw his brother again, his little brother, the boy who had snuck him a Lions hat and hugged him and told him he’d miss him more than anything, and please don’t leave me alone in this house, with them—

“Fais attention,” Regulus bit out.

Be careful.

Regulus shoved Logan with his stick and Logan cursed again, but Sirius barely heard. He watched Regulus skate away, back to Snape’s side. Sirius and Snape looked at each other, across the ice, for a brief moment.

Sirius didn’t think Regulus would ever forgive him for leaving. Especially not with Snape at his side.

Snape’s lip curled, and he turned away, over the boards.

~

“That’s my big brother!” Finn shouted.

Remus laughed, hand on his throat as he stared at the screen, at Sirius, sitting on the bench beside Logan and Alex O’Hara, Zibanejad, Panarin, Crosby, Letang, Holtby…

Sirius, camera honing in on his focused face as he scribbled the signature that Remus knew well. The camera had been showing the fans wrapped in rainbow flags off and on, and it showed them now, too, as Sirius skated over with a wide, if not a little shy, smile on his face. He sort of talked to them, mostly just nodding and bumping fists as he passed the pucks over.

The camera saw Regulus coming before Sirius did.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Finn sat up in Leo’s arms, pulling him with him. “Black brothers, Black brothers.”

“Fuck,” Remus said, and felt Lily grab his wrist nervously.

Regulus and Sirius were talking furiously at each other, at least until Logan got between them.

“I swear to god, someone’s gotta get that kid out of Slytherin,” Kasey grumbled. “He’s like the Captain was, but on steroids.”

Remus nodded slowly, eyes on Regulus’, or at least what sliver of his face the camera was able to get.

Kasey hit Remus’ couch with his fist when they showed a long shot of Snape and Sirius. They were practically staring each other down.

“Can I just,” Kasey gestured at the television. “Can I kill him? Or shave his head?”

“Fine with it,” James nodded.

Leo glanced at Kasey. “I like that that’s your next worst fate after death.”

The cameras moved on relatively quickly as the skill events began. Hardest shot, accuracy, puck handling…

“So, Cap is accuracy, and Lo’s hardest shot,” Leo said, staring at his phone as he scrolled through the website.

“I wanna see how hard Logan can shoot,” Finn mumbled, and Leo whacked him on the head. Natalie nearly cackled and gave Finn a pat on the head.

Remus couldn’t stop looking at the tape on Sirius’ stick.

“Quite a display of camaraderie, seemingly begun by Alex O’Hara, older brother of Finn O’Hara who is Black’s teammate,” one of the commentators began. He was a new voice from yesterday’s red carpet. “It’s good to see that, eh, Tom?”

Remus liked him.

“Sure is, Nate,” replied Tom. “Sure is.”

“Well, that’s more like it,” Remus sighed.

No matter how fun it was to watch Sirius execute a perfect score as he dangled a puck between tight cones and flipped it through tiny slots, Remus itched to talk to him. He itched to see him.

He loved seeing the sticks tap for him, see other boys knock helmets with him like nothing had changed, but still. Remus wanted him home. He wanted him away from Regulus and Snape, and here in Gryffindor, or anywhere where support was strong. Remus had spent hours last night after the team had left scrolling through articles and Twitter. His mind was filled with the messages telling Sirius that he’d changed their life.

He couldn’t believe he had to sit through another entire day of this, watching Sirius play three-on-three games—possibly against Snape.

“Hey, Leo, did they announce the lines for tomorrow yet?” Remus asked. “Would you look it up for me?”

“Sure,” Leo said, looking around Finn’s head to get at his phone.

“The boys aren’t going for fastest?” Lily said disappointedly.

James snorted. “Um, I think we know Remus wins that one, Lils.”

Finn shook his head. “I’m still like, at family skate…I fucking fell over. I haven’t fallen over since, like, I don’t even know.”

Remus smiled. “Sorry about that, Harzy.”

“You really tore Kasey up, Fruit-Loop,” Natalie laughed, reaching up to push her hand through Kasey’s hair.

“Look, he’s really good, I was surprised, and I hadn’t warmed up, okay? I was surprised.”

Remus laughed. “I did have that up on you, Bliz. I’ll admit it, and give you a free pass.”

“No,” Kasey huffed. “I don’t want a free pass, I want to play again and stop your shot.”

“Fuck,” Leo breathed, and Remus stopped laughing.

“What? Is it Snape? Did they put them on the same line?”

Remus knew they liked to do that at All-Stars, put rivals on the same line. Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux were frequent victims.

Leo looked back at him, then up at the television where Regulus was taking his mark for the fasted skater loop.

“Not Snape,” Leo said. “Regulus.”

As if on cue, the announcer spoke up.

“And here’s Regulus Black getting ready to skate. We’ll be getting a real treat tomorrow, Nate. We’ll be getting to see Sirius and Regulus Black, hockey’s most famous brothers right now, play on the same line with Mathew Barzal. That should be quite some hockey.”

“Oh my god,” Remus heard someone breathe.

Quite some hockey.

Remus wondered if Sirius knew.

On everyone’s way out, Lily squeezed him in a hug. “You seem better today. Did you guys…”

Remus nodded. “We talked. It was…you know, it’s hard. It was good.”

“Yeah…”

“But I said I want to talk about it mostly face to face and so…all I can really do is wait now. I’m probably going to call him again now. See if he wants to talk about Regulus.”

Remus was absolutely going to call him again now.

“Okay,” Lily sent him a smile. “See you tomorrow for three-on-three?”

“Hang out at Lupin’s,” Finn hollered in the hallway and was immediately shushed by Leo.

“Jesus, Harzy,” Kasey groaned as he hit the button on the elevator.

Remus was in the middle of doing dishes when his phone rang. He wiped his hands quickly and picked up, nearly fumbling his phone into the sink.

“Hi,” Remus sounded breathless even to himself.

“Hey,” Sirius said. “Do you want to FaceTime?”

“Yeah,” Remus said. “Yeah, yeah, one second.”

Remus more or less ran to the couch, socks sliding on the floor, and sat down just in time for his phone to light up. Sirius’ face filled the screen. His hair was wet from a shower, and Remus didn’t know if it was the light, but the bags under his eyes looked worse than Remus had thought.

“Hi,” Remus said softly, smiling. “God, I’ve been staring at your face all day on TV but I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Sirius smiled, rubbing one of his eyes before stretching back on the bed. “Wish I could stare at your face all day.”

“You’ll be home soon,” Remus said. “Hey, I…today was pretty amazing.”

Sirius laughed and reached out of frame for something. His hand came back swinging a roll of rainbow tape around his finger. “A fan gave me this.”

Remus grinned. “I’m so proud of you.”

Sirius looked at him for a moment, like he wasn’t sure what to say. Then, he smiled again, but it was quieter this time, less at Remus and more at himself.

“Me too. Today was—good. I mean…you probably saw Reg, but…”

Remus nodded. “Did you see your lines for tomorrow?”

Sirius shook his head. “Not yet. Why, are they up?”

Remus took a breath. “Yeah. They’re up.”

~

The All-Stars management seemed to enjoy the idea of putting Sirius and his brother together as much as possible, even going so far as moving their lockers beside each other. It felt like there was always a camera trained on the two of them, and Sirius had never been more on edge. The only good take away from this, it seemed, was that people weren’t asking him about his sexuality anymore.

“You’re welcome,” Minnie had said when Sirius had mentioned it to her in the car over to the arena that morning with Logan and Clyde.

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“I had to give them something, Sirius,” Minnie said. “They need their publicity. I hate it as much as you, but I thought this would be better.”

Sirius had to give Minnie some credit for that PR move, actually. At least with his brother, Sirius was used to dealing with the hounding.

“As Harzy would say,” Logan said from his seat, headphones on one ear and making his hair stick up. He raised his sickly-sweet coffee at her. “Bitch-ass move, Minnie.”

“Why, thank you for that assessment, Mr. Tremblay.” 

Sirius was just as thankful for Remus’ heads up about the game lines, even though he would have found out this morning anyway.

He only wished he had had one about Greyback. Sirius’ line, consisting of himself, Regulus, and Barzal, were set to face off against Greyback, Tom Wilson from the Washington Capitals, and Tony DeAngelo from the New York Rangers.

There was no fighting in All-Stars, which was a shame.

Cameras had followed him all the way into the locker room, where Regulus had cleared his throat awkwardly as he sat down beside Sirius and started dressing. Sirius felt a strong pang in his heart. They had done this with each other a million times. He hated that it felt so strange.

“Maman—”

“I don’t give a damn,” Sirius whispered lowly, using French so there were at least fewer people around them who could keep up. “And you shouldn’t either.”

Regulus laughed, and he made it look mirthful for the sake of the cameras. So, he was learning. There was no humor in his eyes.

“Do I have a choice?” he said.

“I did.”

“Yeah, well, I think we all know how you chose.”

“Regulus,” Sirius sighed.

“Drop it,” his brother bit back.

But this was the longest they had been and would be together in probably months. Maybe years, if Sirius counted his family. He didn’t want to drop it.

Sirius pulled him aside in the locker room while the cameras had to follow the stream of players leaving for the tunnel. It was a brief moment of privacy.

“I would have done anything to get you out with me,” Sirius whispered intently, and pressed his glove to his little brother’s helmet, keeping them close. “Anything. But I couldn’t help you if I was trapped there with you. Maman’s, the Snakes, either one. I had to get out. And then—”

“You don’t know what it was like,” Regulus’ voice came out shaky, and Sirius realized he had tears in his eyes. Regulus closed them quickly, head bowed so that their helmets tapped together. “You left, they lost you, and so they doubled down. I couldn’t—I couldn’t breathe. I can’t breathe.”

Sirius stared at him. In some ways, this hurt more than anything that had happened in the past few days. This hurt more, his little brother, his to protect.

“Reg…” Sirius began.

“You don’t know what he’s like,” Regulus whispered, and then, like he was afraid to say the words aloud. “Snape. Malfoy.” He swallowed, and added, even quieter so that Sirius could barely hear. “Riddle.”

“Mon étoile…” Sirius said. He hadn’t said the old nickname since they were little, and Regulus jolted to look at him. Stars, the two of them. “I’m sorry. Please, let me help you.”

“They made me hate you,” Regulus said. “But I never did.”

They both looked up when the locker room was beginning to empty out. Their moment was over.

“Let’s play,” Sirius said. “Let’s play, and then let’s talk, d’accord?”

“They made me delete your number, but I memorized it,” Regulus said. “Is it the same?”

Sirius closed his eyes, then nodded. “Oui.”

“D’accord,” Regulus said, then jerked his head towards the tunnel.

Sirius tapped Regulus’ chest with his glove. “Allez.”

Sirius followed him towards the tunnel, going out last. People would play it off as a strange superstition, but Sirius knew there would be pictures of him and Regulus talking anyway. He felt different this weekend. For obvious reasons, and not.

His life had always had a path, and that path had always been set. If it changed, the breaks had been slow. A trade deal. A contract. Longing for Remus. Everything had happened with time.

Not this. He was out. He was proud. It was an earthquake, a fault slipping. Regulus needed him, he didn’t hate him, after so long believing otherwise. An aftershock.

He was half way to the tunnel when he saw her.

Another slip.

His mother stood against the wall, her too thin body all in black, hair inky. She spared a short look to Regulus, but followed Sirius with her eyes. Minnie was standing beside her.

Sirius stopped walking.

Regulus, seeming to sense that Sirius wasn’t behind him anymore, stopped, too. Sirius held out his stick, telling him to stay put, and made his way over to the two women.

Sirius’ mother’s lip curled in what maybe appeared to be a smile. “Sirius,” she held out her arms. “I have so much to say to my son—”

Sirius turned at the last minute, minutely. It was a classic play, a fake out right in front of the net. He watched his mother realize his side-step at the last moment when it was too late.

Sirius hugged Minnie close to his chest.

“Regulus,” he whispered, and let go.

“Sirius?” Walburga’s laugh was high. “I beg your pardon?”

“You can’t have it,” Sirius said, and looked her straight in the eye. He towered over her. He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized that before. He looked to Regulus, then at Minnie, and then back at the dark woman.

“Never contact us again,” he said, and then turned towards the tunnel and into the bright lights, eyes on his brightly colored stick tape, and on his brother walking ahead of him.

~

“Welcome back to the 2020 All-Star weekend, everyone! As you can see, the players are out on the ice and this news has just reached us. It seems that Sirius Black has just thrown his own mother out of the arena.”

“Say what?” Natalie yelled.

The commentator laughed. “I know, Nate, this is very…well, there have been rumors about the Black family. I really thought they were, you know, classic hockey parents. Sirius seems to have taken matters into his own hands. He deserves to, honestly, after what he’s been through these past days. What a kid, I—oh, man, hold on everyone, we’ve got a fight!”

Remus and Lily both yelped when the camera cut away quickly from where Patrick Kane and Artemi Panarin had been joking around, and to Sirius—beside Fenrir Greyback, to Remus’ horror—throwing a punch.

~

“Sirius Black,” a voice said, and Sirius took a long breath through his nose, and turned.

Fenrir Greyback, American, had perfectly straight, light brown hair, cropped short and sticking up in the front. His face was scruffy, and when he smiled, his thin lips revealed sharp canine teeth. The teeth beside his jolly laugh made for an eerie sight. Knowing he was the same age as Remus unsettled Sirius. He didn’t look it. He had the timeless look of a corpse, skin waxy and smooth safe for a bad scar, a skate cut, raking over his left cheek. Greyback leaned against his stick, smile in place.

“We have a game soon, don’t we? You and your cubs will be coming to Vegas.”

“Looks like.”

“Ready to lose?”

Sirius smiled wryly. “What sort of question is that?”

Fenrir shrugged. “How is Lupin these days? He was quite a player.”

Sirius could feel the cameras on them, but decided he didn’t care if they were mic’d. The crowd was roaring, he had seen Vegas fans taking pictures with Fenrir. They deserved to know who they were supporting.

“Before you destroyed his career, you mean?” Sirius said evenly.

Logan looked up, eyes wide, from where he had been re-lacing his skate.

Fenrir laughed. “Still pushing that story, huh? Look, man, if you watch the tape it was a clean hit.”

“How the fuck could it have been clean? You ruined his shoulder.”

“Oh, his shoulder. Well, that’s a different story,” Fenrir nodded, as if remembering, and then looked at Sirius, his sick grin still in place. “And there’s no video of that.”

Sirius’ entire bloodstream went cold. He thought of Remus. His panicked expression whenever any conversation got close to his hockey career, his mom’s worried one. But Remus had said, a bad hit, Fenrir…

“No proof,” Fenrir shrugged, and then gripped Sirius’ shoulder, fingers digging into his pads. Louder, so that the other players around them could hear, he said, “Really sorry that he had to stop playing, though. I heard it was one hell of a car accident.”

A fourth shock-wave, rocking his Earth.

~

“Holy fuck,” Finn said loudly. “What is happening? What is happening?”

Remus couldn’t look away from the screen, from where Sirius basically had Fenrir in a choke hold, the momentum of their swings propelling them in a slow, oblong circle as the other players backed away from the sudden fight.

“Jesus, what do you think he said?” Finn asked.

Kuny, who had decided to join them today, shook his head. “Shit-head player, doesn’t matter. Go Cap. I punch him also, when we play Vegas.”

“Remus, you said you played together?” Leo questioned. “Was he a shit-head in college, too?”

“I…” Remus began, and the whistles blew on screens, refs skating forward to pull the two players off of each other.

“Well, man-oh-man, Rob,” one of the commentators said. “I wonder what he said.”

“One could guess,” replied Rob.

Remus felt dread swirling in his stomach. They couldn’t guess, but Remus could. Remus was the only one who knew aside from Greyback.

Remus could still taste the bile from the biting pain of Greyback’s fingers, ripping into the muscle between his neck and shoulder. His hand covered it instinctively.

You hurt it in the game and didn’t tell anyone, Greyback had spat at him. That’s your lie. Remember, I know about you.

He hadn’t, of course. Remus knew that now. It was a bluff, an easy sentence that could mean anything to anyone. Everyone had secrets. Greyback had simply put faith in just how powerfully Remus’ secret would hold him.

Enough for Remus to tell his training staff that he had been hiding a very serious shoulder  injury. Festering muscle tears, dislocated, would heal wrong for sure, not a worthy investment, not anymore—

“Remus?” Kasey said.

Well. Remus’ secret was out now. Fenrir’s could be, too.

“He’s the reason I don’t play anymore,” Remus said quietly.

Lily sat forward, hand on her belly. “What do you mean, Re?”

“He was your bad hit?” Finn asked in a hushed voice. “Was it—on purpose?”

Remus pressed his lips together, trying to steady his breath. “It wasn’t even on the ice. He cornered me in one of the recovery rooms. My routine used to be long, I would stay after the other guys, cool down, stretch, you guys know.” Remus kept his gaze steady on the television where they were zoomed in on Logan and Sirius speaking with their heads close together. Sirius would no doubt have a black eye in a few hours.

“Ripped my shoulder apart,” Remus said softly. “Told me if I told anyone he’d tell my secret.”

“He knew?” Leo said. He sounded horrified. “And that’s what he did?”

Remus shook his head. “He didn’t know. I was too careful. But everyone has secrets, don’t they? I guess he just put his bets in the right place. Some people do.”

“And you never said anything,” Kasey said. “Jesus, Loops.”

“Well, now everyone knows my secret, eh? And I didn’t want to be that guy, blaming the end of their career on someone, some other player. No one would have believed me. And now, it’s so long ago, what does it matter?”

“It matters,” James said urgently. “It does. We can—we should do something.”

“Maybe,” Remus said. “But not now. Not with all of this.”

“And Sirius? He know?” Kuny asked.

Remus looked at the television. ““I think he just found out.”

Which was stupid of Greyback, really. What did he expect Sirius to do? Laugh along?

The game had resumed. Greyback, Wilson, and DeAngelo were lined against Sirius, Regulus, and Barzal. Sirius and Regulus were talking. They bumped fists before taking position. Remus blinked. That was new.

“What the fuck, are we friends now?” Kasey mumbled, intent on the screen.

Sirius scored easily, like a fire was at his heels. Remus loved that look he got in his eyes. The camera zoomed in on their celebration. Sirius wasn’t smiling, but he clutched Regulus and Barzal to him. Barzal looked a little hesitant, like he could sense he was in the middle of something that he knew nothing about.

As Sirius skated towards the bench for glove taps, he found a camera and stopped. The camera held, of course. Sirius Black was looking right at it. Sirius wedge his glove under his arm and reached for his neck.

“What’s happening,” Finn whispered again. He had his hands in his hair, like everything was too suspenseful.

Meanwhile, Remus’ heart was clattering down his ribs.

Sirius withdrew the silver and gold number twelve necklace, gray eyes steely.

He pressed the numbers to his lips.

“Oh…” Remus whispered, hand over his neck.

Sirius’ eyes grew soft as he tucked the necklace, Remus’ gift, safely back into his jersey. Like he knew Remus was gazing at him, too. Remus felt his entire world zero in on this moment. That was for him. Sirius was defending him.

An animal sound came from James.

“Necklace,” James shouted. “Fuck me!”

“Yeah, you’re the only one who was still working on that, sweetheart,” Natalie said.

Lily laughed. “But we love you.”

“We do.”

Remus gripped his watch, thumb rubbing over the face.

I love you. I love you IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou.

He would be home tomorrow.

Remus’ chest was a scrap of feeling. His heart was warm, his blood cool, his neck hot, his hands shaky.

Home tomorrow.

~

The cameras that had swarmed Sirius a moment ago now swarmed Regulus’ stall. Regulus had a towel around his neck, sweat dripping into his eyes. They were lighter though. He kept looking at Sirius, and Sirius remained seated in his stall, showing him that he was staying right where he was. He wasn’t leaving him.

“Regulus, do you have any…” the reporter glanced at Sirius and seemed smart enough to make his question vague. “…thoughts on your brother? Or, what was it like playing with him today? How long has it been?”

Regulus was slow in answering. He wiped his face, adjusted the hat he had on backwards. They look so much alike it’s scary, Sirius heard a reporter whisper to her friend. Finally, Regulus cleared his throat, and looked up from where he had been picking at the label of his water bottle.

“I’m very proud of my brother,” Regulus’ voice was steady and deep. He was unblinking. “It was very brave what he did, especially given the—the intrusive situation. No one deserves that. I wish him all the best, and Lupin, too. I look forward to spending time with him this summer in Gryffindor.”

Sirius’ smiled. And he knew the cameras caught it.

Sirius was sitting in Regulus’ stall this time when his brother got out of the showers. He stayed seated, the two of them silent among the other changing players, while Regulus got dressed. Sirius slipped his phone out of his pocket.

Call you in twenty, he shot a text to Remus.

“Hey, Cap,” Logan said from the doorway. “I’m going out with some of the guys. You’re…” he glanced at Regulus.

“See you on the plane,” Sirius said, and Logan nodded, understanding.

Regulus sat in Sirius’ stall. He had a Snakes sweatshirt on, and the sleeves were picked practically to pieces, fraying and ratty. It hurt to look at them.

They were alone.

“Alors,” Regulus said hesitantly.

Sirius turned to him. “Come back to Gryffindor with me. Minnie got you a seat with me and Logan. Tomorrow.”

An expression of relief so pure crossed Regulus’ face, that Sirius watched him ache with it. Sirius stood and pulled his brother into a hug. The first in a long, long time.

“Okay,” Regulus said into Sirius’ neck, voice thick. “Okay."

#sweater weather #sweater weather lumosinlove #wolfstar #wolfstar au #hockey!au #harry potter #Harry Potter au #sirius black #remus lupin #sirius x remus #remus x sirius #lumosinlove #lumosinlove oc #sweater weather part 15

[nyctolovian]

Summary: Where Jon and Martin get to grow old together and live out the rest of their lives in a village. Told from the POV of a 7-year-old girl, Trish, who just moved in next door.

Written in preparation for the emotional trainwreck that would be the finale of TMA :”)

Trish peeked out from behind the bushes to look at the cottage. She was new in the neighbourhood, but she had already heard all sorts of stories about it from the other kids she played with. There was a ghost in there, or a wizard, and anyone who stepped foot into its boundaries would be cursed and get kidnapped by a giant clown with claws for hands. 

If you asked Trish, she’d tell you she didn’t believe in stupid fairytales and ghost stories like this. While the other kids still believed in Santa Claus, she already knew that it was just her parents sneaking treats into her Christmas socks. There was no way there was some sort of cursed monster living at the bottom of the hill.

Still, as she stood outside it’s fences, wiping her sweaty palms against her skirt, she gulped nervously. The way the other kids acted as they told her to get the ball because “you were the one who kicked it there!” still scared her. What if there was a bad guy in the house? She was only seven! What could she do?

She ran through several possible scenarios. She’d run. If she couldn’t, she’d kick the bad guy as hard as she could; her aunt had always said she had a good kick. If not, she’ll bite as hard as she can. Or she could–

“Excuse me. What are you doing in front of my house?” came a low voice.

Trish leapt backwards in fright with a squeak. 

Standing behind her was an old man with a stubble in a long yellow dress (woman?), carrying several bags of groceries on her left arm. With her other hand, she wielded a cane. There were pale scars all over her dark skin and Trish wondered if this old lady might have been a pirate. Her dark eyes seemed to stare into Trish's soul as her lips were set in a downwards curl. Her eyebrows were thick and tightly knitted in a permanent-looking scowl. She reminded Trish of Mdm Taylor from school, except older and grumpier.

"I… Uh, I…" Trish shifted from foot to foot, her palms growing even sweatier. "I… My ball…" She pointed towards the ball in the lawn. 

The woman with the beard followed her gaze to the bright pink ball beside the front door. "Ah," she said, sighing loudly. She walked to the front gate.

With her hands full, she had to fumble with the latch for a good minute before pushing the gate open. "There we are," she said. "Get your ball."

Trish blinked. It was that easy? 

She ran past the lady with the beard and picked up her ball. She hugged it close to her chest and looked back up at the old lady, half-expecting her to declare that there was a price for taking the ball back, or that she was trapped here forever. 

However, instead the old lady just hobbled through the gate. Some of her grocery bags got caught between the gate and she let out a groan. Trish's eyes darted between the old lady and the bags before she placed her ball back down, stepped forward and took some of the groceries from the lady with the beard. 

"Oh, um," she said. "Thank you."

"It's okay," Trish replied, lifting the bags and walking towards the front door of the cottage. "I help my Ma take the groceries all the time."

The lady with the beard followed after and reached into the pockets of her dress (which were very deep pockets, Trish enviously noticed). As soon as she unlocked the door, Trish lugged the grocery bags into the house. 

It was a clean house, and it smelled a lot like her Gramma's house. Old people smell, she reckoned. 

"Where's your kitchen?" 

"Over here."

Trish followed after her into the kitchen and she placed the groceries down where she was told. 

"What's your name?" the old lady asked.

Trish froze. Her mother told her not to trust strangers and not to tell strangers her name. But perhaps she had already broken some of the rules since she just walked into a stranger's house. But she wasn't kidnapped yet so it was probably safe.

"I'm Trish."

"Ah, thank you so much, Trish. You have been of tremendous help." The lady with the beard began to pack her groceries away. "Usually, my husband would help me with all this."

"What happened to your husband?"

"He's in the hospital."

Trish gasped.

"He's going to be fine. Don't worry. It's just his knee. He'll be back in a week."

"Phew!" Trish dragged her hand across her forehead. "That's good. What's your name by the way?"

"Oh. My name's Jon."

"Jon?!" Trish shouted. "But that's a boy's name!"

The old lady looked confused. "I… yes? It is a masculine name, I suppose?"

"Are you a boy?"

Jon's eyes widened. "I see. Well… I'm neither a boy or a girl. But I am a he. As in, um, for example, 'his name is Jon and he likes eating peaches.'" 

"How are you both not a boy or a girl though?"

Jon frowned in thought. "I just am. It just happens sometimes for people. Some people aren't a boy or a girl."

"Then, what are you?"

Jon frowned. "I'm nonbinary."

"Non…"

"Non-bi-na-ry," Jon repeated, slower, and Trish followed after. He smiled. "It can be a difficult word to pronounce."

"It's not that hard. I can do it," Trish said, rolling her eyes. Adults always made it seem like everything was too hard for her to do. "Nonbinary! See!"

Jon smiled. It was a small one, but Trish spotted it anyway. 

She puffed up her chest and announced, “I need to go now. Bye bye!"

"Bye," Jon replied, waving his hand.

On the way out, Trish picked up her ball and made sure to close the doors behind her.

***

When Trish next spotted Jon, she was at the market with her father. As soon as she sees him, she tugs her dad's shirt and whispers loudly, "That's Jon at the fruit place. He lives in the cottage at the bottom of the hill."

Her father hummed absently as he picked out the vegetables. "Why don't you go say hi, sweetheart?"

With a nod, Trish headed over to the fruit stand where Jon was. He spotted her before she reached him and gave her a little wave. Today, he is in a button-up shirt and black pants.

"Hello, Trish," he greeted. "Helping your mother out?"

"Nope. My Da's shopping this time." She points to her father, who was still engrossed in examining the vegetables. She peered into Jon's basket and saw that in it, there were apples, mangoes and peaches. "Is your husband back yet?"

"Hm? Yes, he is. But he's resting at home. The surgery did a number on him."

"Surgery?!" Trish screeched. Jon winced at the shout and she muttered an apology.

Forgivingly, Jon shook his head. "Sometimes, when you get old, your joints will get a bit painful so the doctors have to replace it with an implant. He's on the road to recovery now so no worries."

“Implant…?”

Jon took time to explain what that meant. Trish had a million questions swirling around her head and she continued to press him for answers. Unlike a lot of adults, Jon took time to answer her questions to the best of his abilities. 

Trish was about to ask how on earth someone can survive being cut open by another person when someone interrupted them. "Retired to teach primary school children, eh, Jon?" the fruit seller said, folding her arms. "Didn't know you were taking in new students."

Jon scowled. "You know full well—"

"Enough of you," the fruit seller brushed him aside in favour of leaning over her counter to look at Trish. "Heya, pipsqueak. Haven't seen you before."

"I’m not his student… My Ma and Da and me moved in last last week. My Da's there," she said, pointing.

It was also then that her father seemed to have settled the payment for vegetables and came over. “Trish, there you are. Where’s your friend? I thought you went to talk to him.”

Trish tugged Jon’s shirt. “Here.”

Da's eyes widened. “Oh! You’re Jon?” He quickly schooled his expression into a friendly smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. The way she talked about you… I just thought she was talking about her classmate so I was…”

“Expecting a seven-year-old and not a seventy-year-old,” Jon replied, raising an eyebrow. “That’s understandable. I’m Jonathan Blackwood-Sims. Nice to meet you.” 

“Nathan Fujisaki. I’m Trish’s dad. Nice to meet you too.”

Jon’s phone began to ring and his brow furrowed. “Apologies,” he muttered as he placed his grocery bag on the stand before fumbling out his phone. He frowned as soon as he saw the caller-ID and picked it up immediately. “Martin, what’s wrong?” His eyes darted from side to side before he cupped a hand over the receiver and turned away from the rest of them to whisper into the phone.

“His husband,” the fruit seller said. “The two of them fuss over each other a lot.”

"Is that so?"

The fruit seller's eyes lit up with glee at the opportunity to gossip a little. "Yeah. When they first moved in, I was, like, 15? It's a lot better now but back then, the two of them were hardly ever apart. He taught me for a year, you know? And I don't know what arrangement they had with the school but they were practically glued to the hip anytime outside of class."

"So he is a teacher!" Trish exclaimed. "He reminded me of Mdm Taylor so I thought he might be a teacher."

"Yeah, he does have that vibe about him, doesn't he?" the fruit seller said. "Cross about everything and anything. He had that even when he was my teacher. And he was pretty scary back in the day too. Nothing seemed to get past him."

"If you truly believed that, you would know better than to gossip about me," Jon countered as he returned to pick up his grocery bag. 

"How is he?" Trish asked.

Jon winced. "It's… better now. But I should head back as soon as I can." He began to make his move and said, "Take care."

"Would you like a lift?" Da offered. "It's on the way."

"I…" Jon glanced down at his cane before he let out a sigh. "Yes, please. I would appreciate that."

It didn't take very long to fetch Jon to his house. Da gave Jon his contact number in case he and his husband needed any help. Jon stared openly, expression unreadable for a moment, before he gave a brief nod and rushed into the house.

On the way home, Da was frowning. "He seems familiar…" he muttered when Trish asked. "Like I've seen him somewhere before."

***

Stupid Da. Stupid Ma. 

They weren't listening to her. In a fit of anger, she ran out of the house and to the first place she could think of. It wasn't fair, she thought. Trish's lower lip wobbled as she curled harder into herself. 

Suddenly, the door to the cottage at the bottom of the hill opened. A large old man with a thick beard wearing a pair of boxers and a singlet emerged and his eyes fell upon the small girl who had squished herself into a corner of the porch. "Oh my god!" squeaked the old man. "Wh-What are you doing out here? Where are your parents?"

Trish glared up through the tears in her eyes. "You're not Jon," she said, her voice rough from crying.

 "Oh, he's… he's out right now," the man said, smiling apologetically. "Would you like to come in and wait for him? Or, uh, or not. We can wait for him outside."

Trish nodded.

"Feel free to sit in the chair there.”

Trish shook her head. 

“Okay. Would you like something to drink then? We have tea, and milk."

"Milk."

With a gentle smile, the man went back into the house and came out, dressed in a knee-length skirt and a loose shirt. He had also brought out a cup of milk, which he placed in Trish's hand. He went back inside for a moment, before returning with a piping hot cup of tea for himself.

The man limped over to a rocking chair and sat down heavily with a sigh. As he placed his own cup down on the table beside himself, Trish noticed the massive scar on his left leg that ran from his mid-calf up to his knee. "Are you Jon's husband?" she asked. "Martin?"

The man's eyes practically lit up. "Oh yes!" He drummed his fingers against his belly delightfully. "I'm guessing that you're Trish then?"

She nodded.

"Jon's told me a bit about you," he said.

"Are you also non… nonbinary," she said the word slowly to make sure she got it right.

From the look of it, she had because Martin smiled again. "Nope. I'm a man. Just one who finds skirts incredibly comfortable."

"I don't like skirts," Trish said frankly. "They're too wooshy and swishy."

"Perfectly understandable." Martin nodded. 

"Where's Jon?"

"He's doing groceries."

Trish stuck her lower lip out. "He's always doing groceries."

Something between a laugh and a sigh escaped Martin's chest. "He is, isn't he? My poor husband just can't sit still. He has to go to the market once a day or he'll get cranky. Or crankier than usual."

Trish nodded as she took a sip from her cup. 

"So, what are you doing here?"

Trish lowered her cup. "I don't know."

"Did something happen to make you cry?" Martin asked.

Curling in harder into herself, she muttered, "I'm not telling."

"Oh, um… Sure."

"Does it hurt?"

"Hm?" Martin followed her gaze to his knee. "Oh, you mean my knee? It was hurting really badly before I went to the hospital. I mean, it's still hurting a bit now because I'm recovering so I take a bit of painkiller to deal with that. It'll get better soon."

"Does it hurt when they do it on you?"

"Mm… not really? They give you an injection that makes you sleep through the entire surgery. It's kind of when you wake up that you start feeling the pain."

Trish frowned. It sounded a bit unrealistic. How could you sleep through being cut open? She didn’t get the opportunity to ask Martin anything though because, in the distance, a small figure could be seen hobbling towards the house. Martin immediately straightened up. "There he is," he said, before waving. 

Trish followed suit with a big wave of her own, putting her entire arm into it. 

“You have a little visitor,” Martin said as soon as Jon stepped past the gate.

“I can see that very well,” Jon said, rolling his eyes. He made a small detour to their side of the porch to give Martin’s forehead a kiss. Then, he looked at Trish and probably noticed her red-rimmed eyes. "Did something happen?"

Trish frowned. "Ma and Da won't let me have a birthday party. They said it's a waste of time and I'll forget it anyway."

"Oh…" Jon pursed his lips. "Do they know you're here now?"

"No. And I don't want them to."

"They must be worried sick," Martin remarked with a small frown. 

Shrinking into herself, Trish muttered sourly, "Let them."

“I know you’re angry at them and you don’t want to see them right now but it is quite  unkind to cause them needless worry,” Jon reasoned gently. “I shall give them a call, okay? Just to let them know you’re here. I promise I’ll let you stay here until you’re ready to talk to them again. But you wouldn't want them to think you're in danger, right?”

Trish pouted hard, but eventually nodded.

“Right,” Jon said with a nod before heading into the house. He came back out after about 5 minutes with some cut fruits. “We have permission for you to stay until dinner,” he said as he sat down in the other chair with a low grunt. “Now, I hope you didn’t have to suffer Martin’s nagging for too long while I was away.”

“Nagging?!” Martin shot back with an offended voice. “And don’t you think I suffer when you insist on leaving a trail of cups all over the house? Do you think you’re Gretel or something?”

“Actually,” Jon said, knowing full well what he was doing, “Hansel was the one who left the trails.”

Martin groaned comically and Trish giggled a little.

***

“You know what?” Trish yelled as she threw the door open. From the kitchen, Martin made a weird squeaky noise.

“It would be polite to knock. Martin’s already got a weak enough heart already,” Jon chided as he stood up from his sofa and went to the entrance. 

“Oh… Um...” She gently closed the door again before knocking. Then, she patiently waited as the sound of Jon’s shuffling slippers got closer.

“Trish,” Jon said exasperatedly as he opened the door. “You don’t have to close the door again if you’re already inside. We know you’re here.”

“Oh, okay,” Trish said, walking in.

Martin came into view and he was laughing a little. “God, you sound like such a curmudgeon.”

Frowning, Trish asked, “Cur…?”

“A grumpy old person,” Martin explained. “You know, like Jon.”

Teasingly, Jon poked Martin’s rib. “Oh yeah? Is that resentment in your voice, Mr Blackwood-Sims?”

Martin grabbed the offending hand. “Oh, absolutely not. You’re my curmudgeon. I’m not resenting you anytime soon.”

“Sap,” Jon muttered, covering his mouth with his hand, but that did nothing to hide the smile in his voice.

Trish rolled her eyes. “Aaaaanyway,” she said, putting her hands on her hips, “I’m here to announce something.”

“Yes, yes, announce away,” Jon said.

But he was making goo-goo eyes at Martin so Trish decided she’d leave the very important announcement of her birthday party for another day.

***

Having chicken pox and being forced to stay in her room for an entire week was already bad enough. But then, it just had to be on the week of her birthday. What’s worse was that Trish had gone and scratched at her skin, and even though it was healed, she had some scars on her arms and face. And she really did not appreciate scars as a birthday present.

Ma chided her for not listening and handed her a bottle of cream to apply over the scars. “If you properly apply it, then maybe it’ll get rid of those scars,” she said.

Not wanting any of the scars to remain, Trish religiously applied the cream every night. But they didn’t seem to be going away anytime soon.

“It isn’t the end of the world if it does leave scars anyway. Look at the both of us! We have scars and we’re doing fine,” Jon comforted her, which wasn’t very comforting.

“It’s okay if you two have scars. You’re old people anyway,” Trish said, popping one of Martin’s freshly baked cookies into her mouth.

“Ouch!” Martin said, sitting down beside Jon at the dining table. “That’s a bit mean, Trish.”

Wincing, she muttered, “Sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Jon said. He peered over at her arm. "I think it's fading. It's just a bit slow so be patient with it."

Trish nodded. However, even as she sat there talking with them, her index finger kept returning to rub over the most prominent scar on her forearm. The tiny bump of the scar annoyed her and she wished she could tear it out, but she knew that would likely only make the scar worse.

"You know, Trish," Martin said, "it's normal for kids to get scars. We all get scars from at your age too."

"Jon too?"

"I…" Jon frowned. "I don't recall much of when I was young unfortunately."

"How come?"

"Complicated stuff," Jon said, making a vague gesture. "It'd be too long a story to explain."

"Well," Martin interjected, "he doesn't remember his. But I do." He lifted his arm to show the pale jagged patch on his elbow. "This one I got from when I fell off a tree outside my house. I got a kite snagged onto the branches so I had to get it down. It's a bit faded now actually." 

"Yeah, but that's a cool scar. Mine is just from stupid chicken pox," Trish grumbled. Then, she lifted her head. "What about those though? The dot-dot ones both you and Jon have? They're not from chicken pox too, right? They're really big."

"Oh, these?" Martin said, running his hand over the pockmark scars on his face and arms. 

"Yeah. How did the both of you get it? It looks really bad…" Trish frowned. "What kind is it?"

"Um… yeah," Jon said. "It... It was a… bad disease."

Martin sighed. "It was an office-wide infection. From when Jon and I worked in the same place." He then switched the subject by showing a long scar he had on his finger. "Oh, Trish, look at this one. Guess how I got this one? It was kind of dumb. I got it when I was, I think, 5 years old? I stuck my finger into the fan."

Trish scrunched her face. "Why did you do that?!" she shouted. "What if it got chopped off?"

"I don't know to be honest. I was five, Trish. I wasn't a very smart five-year-old."

"Five-year-olds generally aren't very smart," she assured Martin, who threw his head back and laughed.

They continued to talk about scars and dumb injuries for the rest of the afternoon. And by the time Trish went home, she realised that even if the scars remained in the end, she wouldn't be that upset. 

***

As Martin’s knee got better, he began to join Jon’s grocery trips more often. The marketplace got a little bit more noisy on the days Martin went with Jon. 

Firstly, Martin and the fruit seller seemed to have this bit that involved making fun of Jon, even though Trish didn’t necessarily understand most of the jokes. (For some reason, Martin likes to make fun of Jon for liking peaches.)

Then, Martin had what Jon called “itchy fingers'', which meant that Martin liked touching things he wasn’t supposed to. There was this one time when Martin had decided to poke something pink on the side of a carton, which turned out to be used gum. “You’d think you’d grow out of touching things unnecessarily, Martin,” Jon reprimanded as he dragged his husband to the toilet to wash his hands.

Trish just thought they were quite funny.

Sometimes, she would be with Da for groceries when she bumped into them. On those days, Da would talk to them about grown-up stuff that Trish had no hope of understanding. But it was fine since, with Martin at the front seat most of the time, this meant that Trish can lean to her side and whisper to Jon.

Sometimes, Trish would see Jon and Martin walking around together in the neighbourhood. More often than not, Martin joined Jon on his daily trips to the market, and they would slowly walk hand-in-hand. It was during those times that Jon most often had a smile on his face, and at times bursting into uproarious laughter.

Sometimes, Trish would dash over to greet them. People often told Trish that she was a bit too chatty for her own good. But around those two, she felt that maybe it was alright to talk a bit more because Martin would always smile warmly at Trish as she talked about the frog she found on the side of the road or about her stupid homework assignment. Jon, on the other hand, often had something to add to whatever Trish was saying, be it with questions or a weird trivia of his own. 

Of course, there were days where Trish was far too busy to call out to them. It was highly impractical to rush out to them during a game of Hide-and-Seek.

Sometimes though, the two of them would walk especially close to each other, and they’d be whispering, or at least, one of them would be. There were times when Martin looked greyer than usual, and his gaze would be distant even as he ran his fingers along railings, fences, or any surface available. Other times, Jon would look rattled, his eyes darting about and breaths shallow. The non-cane-wielding hand would not be holding Martin’s on those days, instead, it would be tracing the scar over his neck, or twisting his hair in a quiet frenzy.

And then, sometimes, they would sit together on the park bench, holding hands and whispering and chuckling to themselves.

Those were the days when Trish knew better than to disturb them.

#tma #the magnus archives #magpod #jonmartin #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #nb jon #fanfic #my writing #canon divergent #cos ofc theyll grow old tgt after the apocalypse #im not in denial ;-;

[monsoonblooms12]

Detectives By Chance: Chapter 4- Seeking and Chasing

A/N: Hi, how is everyone doing💫💛? I finally completed the 4th chapter, phew. I am really sorry for the delay, It has been some time ( a month to be precise). But I hope that you enjoy reading this💛. Thank you for all the love that you have given the earlier chapters and I love you all very much 💛

Thank you so very much @ohramsey​ for everything. I love you x infinite and I will miss you so much😭🤍❤

Series Summary: It was supposed to be a usual weekend for the four. Coffee, fun, friends and love. But an unexpected case changed their lives in a way they had never imagined. A mystery - a murder - many secrets… Will Ethan, Pooja, Alexandra and Mark, be able to survive? Or will the circumstances twist and break their lives forever?

Pairing: Ethan × f!MC (Dr. Pooja Sharma)

Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters. I only own the OCs and my MC.

Word count: 2.3K 

Triggers: Mentions of blood, murder

For Ethan and Pooja, a mutual day off was once in a blue moon thing. So whenever they had one, they would put the world out of their mind and remain engrossed in each other.

And now, after getting a cherished day off for the first time in at least one and a half months, they were sitting here scrutinizing the clues they had assembled from the crime scene.

They sat down on the couch, opened their laptops and kept auxiliary notebooks with them to note any admissible details they could find. Ethan took the three pieces of paper and stationed them down on the coffee table.

The first one was the third bloody note that Pooja had received.

It said: "Ahh, here you are. I knew, I knew you would come. You bastards are as obstinate as I am. But don't worry, I like it. So, did you like my pretty little portrayal that I had made for you? All this is just a sprinkle of my intuitive plan. The real game hasn't even begun yet. Just wait and be on your guard for my twisties and turnsies."

"Hasn't this person done enough? What the freaking hell does he want?" Pooja said, on the brink of tears. She was literally done with this pathetic game of blood.

Ethan hugged her tightly. "Calm down, Love. It hurts me to see you like this. We will find out everything. We will find this person, and we will make them compensate for their sins. I promise." 

"Ethan, I love you so much. Please be with me ad infinitum." Pooja planted a featherlight kiss on Ethan's cheek. 

"I will, Baby, I will, I love you too," Ethan assured her, while tenderly wiping off her tears. 

"And... you don't have to use fancy terms to tell me to love you forever."

At this, Pooja let out a tee-hee.

After she had calmed down, they looked at the second piece of paper. It was a drug store receipt.

"Propofol?"

"If this is a receipt left-back by the murderer, then why Propofol, did they feel remorseful for Davis? " Pooja scoffed. 

"Remorseful? I sure as hell that's not the case." 

Pooja's question lingered in Ethan's mind. Why would, he thought, the murder make the patient unconscious? So that he doesn't shout?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Poke Poke. Pooja poked at his side, bringing him back to reality.

 "A penny for your thoughts?"

" Just thinking about propofol."

" And what does the mind of the world-class diagnostician say about that?"

" As for now, it says nothing essential."

"But?"

"there is a what if."

"And that is?"

" What if the criminal is right in our plain sight?"

" So, as I understand, you are suggesting that the murder is someone-"

"From the hospital. It would be the easiest for a staff member to do everything, isn't it?"

" Hmmm. Although it is a stab in the dark, it is a pretty commendable reasoning. Good job Mr Mitter."

"Mr what?"

"You don't know Mr. Mitter??!! You need to catch up on your detective knowledge, Ramsey. We need to go on a mystery novel-reading spree, ASAP!"

"Don't you think that's just irrelevant to what we are discussing?"

"Excuse You! How the hell are mysteries irrelevant in a discussion of mysteries?" 

Pooja made a phoney, angry face that made Ethan laugh.

" Okay, so number one you are looking ridiculous with that face and number two maybe, I agree with you, just a little."

"WAIT"

"Did you just... give in and agree with me? The Ethan freaking Ramsey accepted his defeat?"

"How is this def-"

"I will write about this day in golden letters in my autobiography."

"Autobiography?" Ethan was chuckling like an idiot.

"Hey, what do you think? I can't write an autobiography or what?"

"No, no, of course, you can! But I really wanna know if you are going to write about your escapades with Jenner or the sleep-talks you do all night. Or maybe about the variety of chocolate you like."

"ETHAN!"

"Okay Okay, I will stop. Let's look at the third bit of paper." 

The third paper was a visiting card. Or something that looked like visiting card held together with a lot of tape. The name on it was too faded for them to interpret. However, they could make out the address and the designation which, surprisingly, was Dr.

All the lingers of laughter and joy from the previous exchange dispersed and seriousness took its place.

"So, this person is a doctor. Very Peculiar!" Pooja remarked.

"What about all this is not uncommon, Poo? Even if they are a doctor, why target you and Alex? How does this person even know you both?" Ethan said, a tinge of anger lingering in his tone.

Pooja absently fiddled with the card while suddenly something caught her eye. In tiny handwriting, the letters D.I.B.S.15. She presented it to Ethan.

"What is this supposed to mean?"

"It looks like some cryptic message to me. Maybe the murderer wrote it absently on this card. We need to infer its meaning. It can be crucial."

"Hmm. Seems, like we have a lot of investigation to do. But at first, let's note down the enigmas we need to find the answers of."

They grabbed a notebook and wrote down all the lingering inquiries and matters about which they were going to seek.

Who is Mr Davis? Why was he targeted?

Why did no one from his acquaintances never come to question about him?

Why did the murderer target Pooja and Alex? How does he know them?

How was the murder perpetrated?

The addresses

MedMinder Drug Store

D.I.B.S.15

"Ethan?"

"Hmm?"

"Should we call the medical store? They might have vital information about the person who bought their stuff."

"Sure they will, reckoning that the person who bought the stuff is the same as the one who murdered Mr Davis."

"Or, you know, we can go there. Like check out both the addresses personally? So many facts are not present on the 'net. We may find something worthwhile for the case or maybe, even find the mastermind?"

"I was contemplating the same thing. But I wanted to take Mark and Alex with us. After all, four brains are more dependable than two." Pooja snickered a little. 

"Sure. I will shoot them both a text to meet us up after their shifts get over." 

But there was no need to do that. When Pooja unplugged her phone from the charger, she saw their texts. Both of them had taken an off early and were en route to Ethan's penthouse.

After fifteen minutes, Mark and Alex arrived. Ethan and Pooja filled them up with everything they had come across.

Then they told them about their plan of visiting the two addresses. 

"That would be incredible. But before that, you both should know the autopsy results." Mark said. 

"The Autopsy result came?" Pooja asked. 

"Yup, this morning. And guess what?"

"The cause of death is not the throat slit. It is Acute Cyanide Poisoning. The throat was slit afterwards." Alex informed them.

"What the hell?" Pooja remarked, wide-eyed.

"All this is so seriously messed up, isn't it?"

"The person has a medical history. They would know the dosage. Also, looking at the kind of criminal he is, it would not have been too difficult for him to arrange the cyanide." Ethan stated. 

"But Why Mr. Davis? I don't understand" Alex queried curiously. 

"Let's get going. I am sure we will get at least some of our answers from these two addresses." 

The four grabbed their coats, took the three clues, packed their tab and set off. The first address on Lyon Avenue was not far from Ethan and Pooja's place. 

They arrived there in ten minutes and spent another five minutes in searching the store.

The drug store was not very busy, dimly illuminated and smelt fusty. 

The man at the counter didn't even notice them coming until, 

"Ahm" 

Ethan cleared his throat. 

The man almost jumped out of his seat. Regaining his composure, he said, "How, ahem, How may I help you?" 

"We need some information. Can you remember who was the person who bought these from you?" Pooja said, handing him the receipt. 

"I am sorry, but information of our customers is confidential. We can not reveal it to anyone except security personals or family member."

Uh Oh. Now what? Nothing a sprinkle of drama can't resolve. 

"Um, Actually the person who bought these from you was most probably my brother. And he is missing for the last three days. So we are searching for information which can lead up to him." Mark said.

Either The shopkeeper was disinterested in their explanation or whatever he said about confidentiality was a lie because he didn't question Mark. He just eyed him sceptically and revealed,

"It was four days ago. I don't remember quite well, but I can give you some information. It was a man of medium height, wearing a high collared black jacket. He wore sleek black sunglasses and a mask. He did not speak anything but handed me the list of items he needed.

He made his payment in cash. When I asked if he was a medical professional, he showed me his visiting card. The card seemed pretty old and unkempt, but the designation Dr. was visible. So I didn't think much and gave him his things. That's all I can recollect."

"Was the visiting card that he showed similar to this?" Ethan asked, presenting the visiting card they had.

"Let me see."

"Yup, the font does seem similar." 

"Seems like this might be our man. Thank you very much for the information." Mark said before they started to exit the shop.

"Wait a sec." The man at the counter beckoned them.

They turned back.

"What is it?"

"I just remembered something. The man, he gave me an extra 20 bucks. When I informed him that he had given me extra cash, he gestured me to keep it. Also, when he was handing over the money, he folded up the left sleeve of his shirt, and there were numerous cut marks on it." The man at the counter told them.

The instant they heard about the cuts, they got the confirmation of their lingering suspicions.

This man was the murderer, and he was the one who was sending them the bloody notes.

The four thanked the man, and as a gesture of gratitude handed him some bucks. Then they left the shop and set off for their next destination.

Once seated back in the car, Pooja said, "So now we know that we are following the right person. Maybe the second address will tell us more."

"Mark, How did you deduce the murderer to be a man?" Alex asked.

"Just took a wild speculation. And because I have,"

Mark stopped.

"had a brother, that came out spontaneously." Mark's voice held traces of pain and brought out the confrontation among his thoughts.

But he quickly regained composure and said, "But thank god the guess was right. If not, we would be in a hell of a mess."

Mark laughed a bit, but his laughter sounded somewhat void.

For the rest of the journey, there was no conversation. A deafening muteness fell in the car, but no one tried to rip through it.

The journey to the second address took 20 minutes.

But they were a bit taken aback from the situation of the place.

It was a cryptic, morose part of the city, and it was awkward for a doctor to set up their practice here. In the entire street, darkness lurked. Flickers of light were visible in some of the houses.

Ethan, Pooja and Alex started to walk down the street slowly to locate the private clinic, but Mark stayed behind.

It was as if distasteful remembrances came to him, inundating him, due to the sight in front of him.

There was a glimmer of identification of the area in his eyes.

After walking a few steps, Alex realized that Mark was not with them.

At first, she began to panic, but when she turned around and saw Mark standing by the car, sighed in relaxation.

"MARK, MARK" Alex beckoned him.

Alex's voice caused Ethan and Pooja to turned around. They, too, detected Mark and the three started to pace towards the car.

"Mark, what happened?" Alex asked after arriving at the car, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Then she spotted the tears rolling down Mark's face.

Before she could say anything, Mark hugged her and broke into stringent sobs. His entire body was shuddering with every cry.

Ethan and Pooja quickly went beside him, trying to calm him down while Alex held him in her embrace.

"Mark, Honey, what happened? Is something wrong? Are you feeling unwell or something?" Alex asked, panic apparent in her voice.

Sensing her dread, Mark tried to regain his composure. And he succeeded a bit.

Breaking himself from Alex's embrace but holding her hand for strength, he levelled up. The other three looked at him, concern and curiosity both unambiguous on their faces.

"T-T-This place, I k-know this place." Mark began, voice trembling a bit.

"You do?" Pooja asked.

"Y-yup. This place, it endures as the beholder of the pain my family went through. All our sufferings, all our cries started here and ended h-here." Mark said, on the verge of tears.

"Mark, if you don't want to talk about it, it is okay, you don't have to," Ethan said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"N-No, I have to say this. I have to tell you."

Mark took a pause.

"T-T-This place is where m-my c-childhood home is."

The grief that we hide from the world, that we bury deep in our soul, when it comes out, it twists knives in a way that rips through all our soul leaving us as shredded as we were when we encountered it.

PS: This case had pulled strings which no one had expected. But will these strings tug the answers with them? This chapter feels like the beginning of the end. What do you think, is Mark's dilemma? What about Pooja's childhood? And what new challenge will the murderer place in front of them?

Every question will be answered and every Mystery will be solved. They might be Detectives by chance but their skills know no bound.

If you enjoyed the story, please like, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going 💕. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you have a great day ahead.💕💕

#pixelberry choices #choices oh #choices open heart #open heart second year #open heart #ethan x pooja #open heart ethan #ethan x mc #ethan jonah ramsey #alexandra walton #lex x mark #mark danvers #choices stories we play #choices stories you play #playchoices #choices #choices the stories you play #choices fanfiction #open heart fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #pooja sharma #fics of the week #choices oph #detectives by chance #my fanfics✒

[bohemiansweede]

First time...

In Santa's lap

Ch 2

Fanfic

Pairing Roger Taylor Reader

Warnings Smut 🔞

A/N Rogers POV Part 2 of the series (part 1 is posted below) Please like and comment or reblog if you like

When you read part 2

Listen to this

🥂 🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

I hide away in the studio almost the whole December, I had to keep my head busy with other things than... Her

There she was again

Shit..

I flipped over the cymbals with a loud *CRASH*, John looked up and I shrugged a bit and lit up a cigarette

- Hey man, what's is all the fuss about?

- Nothing John.. I'm fine.

- You are a terrible liar.. You know that?

He joined me on the drumrisers and took up his own cigarettes

- You still think about her.. Right?

- Yeah.. I do.. I was a moron, an idiot.. A complete dick.. Fuck.. She was so beautiful, amazing.. so different, so..

- She is back in London Roger, did you know?

I almost fell of my chair

- What?, Since when?.. Omg.. I have to see her

- Roger.. I don’t think..

- What? I haven't t even looked after a girl since then, not even the groupies at the Christmas gig, all I can think of is her

John looked at me as if I was from an other planet, he shook his head

- You sure you are ready to be serious Roger, she is not that kind of girl you play with

-.. I'm... Yes.. I want her.. I wanted her back that evening too but.. Omg.. I screwed up

- I don't think she is so keen on meeting you, but me and Veronica can maybe luer her into something.. But Roger.. It is something you need to know

My eyes widened, I could only hear his words ringing in my head

"she is back.. I can see her.. a ..."

- She is pregnant Roger ..you hear me?

- What?.. I immediately bounced back to earth, a..am I.. going to be a dad?

Tears fell down on my cheeks

I looked on my own hands, fiddled with my drumsticks, almost whispering

- I have to see her, I want her more than ever

The upcoming week passed by slowly

The day was here, I had kicked out Brian to be with Chrissie

I was so fuckin nervous, I told myself out loud.. I'm going to show her.. that I'm not just a player.. that I'm serious, that she can trust me

I went back and forth in my kitchen, shit.. She is soon here

Shit... The owen!!!

I looked inside, it wasn't ruined

*phew*

I lighted a few more candles and corrected the flowers in the vase

*doorbell*

I was suddenly wide awake

I went out in the hallway and opened the door

There she was, even more beautiful than I remembered, in a fur coat, a cute scarf and her red blushed cheeks from the cold, her mouth, slightly open..

She looked at me with big eyes, we were both like frozen to the ground

- Y/N... Hi... You came, I showed her inside, come in.. Its cold

She just nodded quietly

I helped her off with the coat

I saw the back of her, a cute dark blue dress, her hair in a messy bun, her neck..

She turned around

- I'm ready to hear you out.. To give you a chance to explain.. But I'm not.. I'm disappointed.. Not just you.. But at myself to letting me..

- Hey... Look.., I stuttered and shook my head, please.. Please come in.. Are you hungry?

She followed me out in the kitchen

I saw her looking at the table, the roses, the candles..

I smiled at her

Saw a little smile in the corner of her mouth

- I guess that I was right then, please sit

I pulled out her chair

- I bought non alcoholic wine.. I

She sat down and started to cry heavily

I held around her tense shoulders and kissed her temple, she leaned her face onto my chest

- I... I'm so sorry Roger.. I can have.. have it removed

I looked at her

- No.. No.. Don't even think about that.. NO.. I want you, both of you

I placed my hand on her belly, I'm serious

I took away a tear with my thumb

- Are you sure about that.. I mean..

- I'm sure, even more now. I have only thought about you since that day, I.. I fell in love with you that night Y/N... Thoose other girls there and at the concerts, they don't mean anything, please give me a chance.. Please.. I

She turned her head and looked up at me

Placed a kiss carefully at my lips

Nodded

- Ok... IF we eat first, it smells delicious and I'm starving

She let out a soft giggle

I kissed her nose and stood up

Took her plate and served up the food from the stove

I turned around and smiled at her

She was here

I placed the plates on the table and poured up wine for both of us

She ate and drank with big apetite

It became easier and easier to talk, we talked about just everything really

We got to know each other, we laughed a lot and I saw in her eyes that she started to maybe feel the same

-.. So.. when I saw you Y/N, I knew what I wanted, but I became shy and tried to cover that shyness with being my cocky self

I'm so sorry for that, I should have run after you

- I know Roger, John told me a little and Veronica.. She comforted me that night, just before I left. She knew..

- Yeah.. John wasn't happy with me.. Neither of them were, at least myself

I took down the last wine

She smiled at me

- You don't have to drink non alcoholic wine because of me

- It was actually quite good.. besides, I want to remember this evening, more wine?.. Dessert?

- Ehhhmm... In a bit... I... mmmm

I stod up and took her hand

She followed me out in the living room

I had prepared a vinyl already and soon Joe Cockers hoarse voice streamed out

I walked towards her and took her in my arms, kissed her cheek and felt her arms closing around my shoulders

I pulled away a little, just looked at her

- I have to agree with him.. "You are so beautiful", I leaned down a little and kissed her, just tasting her lips carefully

She pulled me closer and deepened the kiss, I smiled while we kissed

We just stod like that, holding each other until the song ended

Without a word she took my hand and started to walk, I followed her to my room and she closed the door behind us

- Hunnie.. we don't...

- Ssssccchhhh... She pulled down the straps on her dress and let it fall down

I just couldn't stop staring at her

The moonlight made her skin shimmer like diamonds

I reached out my hand.. slowly.. touched her arm, I let my eyes wander up and down her body

- I'm not made of glass Roger.. You can touch me

She closed the gap between us and I felt the heat from her body

She opened the buttons on my shirt one by one

She giggled a little when her fingers didn't follow her mind

I kissed her passionately while helping her

Her stiff nipples brushed against my chest

- Ohhh God hunnie...

We backed further into the room and when she had the bed behind her I made a little push so she bounced on the mattress

She bit her lip and crawled up in bed

I leaned down and kissed her again and again and again

Continued my kisses down her neck, nibbling on her soft skin

Closed my lips around her nipple and heard her breathing getting more intense

I looked up at her while kissing her burning skin, I stopped a little and leaned my cheek on her belly as if I was listening, I placed a kiss on it and whispered, I can't wait to meet you, our unborn child

She smiled at me and held around my head, she slightly pushed me down

I bit my lip and pulled down her underwear while kissing her hips, her thighs, her innerthighs

She opened up under me and I gasped for air, she was just so amazingly beautiful

I seperated her folds with my tounge, dragged it slowly up and down, I circled it around her clit and her soft moans sounded like music to my ears

I closed my lips around her clit and licked faster, my finger started to slowly entering her

She bucked up her hips and whined a little

I stopped

- Are you alright?

- Yes... Ohhh yes.. Omg.. Don't stop Roger

I let out a breathy laugh and started to eat her out more intense, I added a finger and curled them over her spot

I rubbed it over and over

Not long after I felt her walls collapsing around my fingers

I kept fucking her wet pussy her intire orgasm

My tounge replaced the fingers I pushed it deep inside her, drinking all her sweet nectar, I kept moving my tounge in and out, around and around, my thumb circeled her clit

- Mmmm.. Hunnie.. You are amazing

My tounge found her spot, it kept on nudging it, her thighs clenched around my neck and seconds after she scuirted down my throat

- Ops... She looked down at me with a big smile

I simply couldn't resist her so I crawled back up and kissed her

My cock teased her entrance and my eyes locked with hers

- I love you.. You know that

- Ohh God Roger.. I love you too

Slowly I entered her and we became one

We rolled out hips together in unison, I held around her hips, moving in and out of her

I kissed down her neck and moaned in her ear

My hips thrusted faster and faster

I gripped the headboard and and snapped my hips even more, but not too deep

We kissed again and she moaned into my mouth

I felt she became tighter and I held her close

- Shit love .. I'm coming

- Ohhhh... OHHHH ROGER

I flushed my seed inside her and her contractions squeezed the last drops

I fell to the side in bed, pulling her with me, still inside of her

She had her head on my chest and I pulled her closer

It was silent

All we heart was a little whining wind and the clock on my nightstand

It was after midnight, it was new years eve

I smiled a little to myself

- Y/N..?.. I... I was going to wait until tonight, but.. I cannot hold myself any longer

I pulled out the drawer and took out a box, placed in between us

- This is the last day of the year, and last day I was alone, I want to be with you.. Both of you.. Forever

.... Marry me

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍

Enjoy more reading in my masterlist

Thank you and Happy New year 🎉

#queen #roger taylor #queen band #queendom #my edits #roger meddows taylor #queen smut #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor imagine #Queen smut #New year #pregnancy #Marriage #70s

[milkybunbuns]

ii. battles → perfection masterlist → next → previous

w/c: 1.9 K

warnings: spoilers for season 1 episodes 6 and 7

a/n: I moved the basic hero training part to morning because I realised half way through it happened in the afternoon and I was too lazy to change everything 😅

A brand new day, which meant a brand new day of school. You wouldn’t even be surprised if today there would be another test and just unluckily for you, Hawks was nowhere to be seen in the morning, leaving you with no food (the fridge was empty) and there was no time to go shopping considering you were running late. Home school was kinda nicer, you could wake up whenever you want, learn whenever you want and train whenever you want, but sometimes it did get a little bit boring.

Sliding the door open quietly, you slid through the smallest opening possible and settled down in your seat, All Might completely oblivious to the fact that you had just walked in, 7 minutes late, however, it clearly didn’t go unnoticed by Iida. You watched as he raised his arm, panicking internally and waving your hands crazily at him, trying to signal him, no. Yet he paid no mind to you. Grrr, Iida!! Way to blow my sneaky entrance smh.

“Yes young Iida?”

“I’m sorry for disrupting the class, but I would like to point out that L/n-san has entered the classroom late and being part of UA, it is expected that all students should be on time”, he pointed at you, exposing you as everyone turned their heads towards you.

You heard whispers of ‘huhh, who’s that?’, ‘I didn’t see her’, ‘Is she new?’, which brought a lot of embarrassment upon yourself.

“It’s not very nice to whisper about someone in front of them kero”, Tsuyu, spoke up, which stopped all the whispers.

Iida stood up and bowed an almost perfect bow to All Might, “I’m sorry All Might for the discrepancy, please continue.”

“Right!”, the no.1 hero sweat dropped, “Please put on your costumes and meet me at Ground B”, he pressed a button on a remote, the wall somehow magically producing cases which held individual costumes based on requests. You grabbed your case, which was labelled no.9, looking around for Tsuyu so you thank her properly for standing up for you. Her green hair was pretty easy to spot, as you rushed to her.

“Oh hi L/n-san!”, she waved at you with her free hand, still keeping a fast pace.

“Hi Asui-san, thank you so much for standing up for me, I would’ve been a gonner without you.”

“It’s no problem at all and call me Tsuyu.”

“Alright Tsuyu, I was wondering if you’d like to be friends with me?”

“Of course! It’d be my pleasure kero”, okay phew it would’ve been so embarassing if she said no sjoakpa.

Everyone met outside, after changing into various hero costumes. Some looked out right ridiculous, Mineta’s was a great example for sure, while some looked really good and you couldn’t help but be in awe at Ochaco’s costume. It had a really nice colour palette consisting of pink, white and black and fitted her quirk really well.

“Ochaco!”, you waved her over, from where she was standing with Deku, quickly examining his hero costume, you noticed that the teeth looked a bit strange and he kinda looked like a bunny though it was clearly meant to be All Might style.

“Hi Y/n!!”, Ochaco smiled bouncing up and down excitedly, “This is so exciting! Our first hero training class!!”

“Yeah, I guess it is. Your costume is really cutee~”

She scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, “Thanks, but I honestly didn’t expect this to be skin-tight.”

“It’s good for your quirk and easier to manoeuvre around with a tight suit rather than a loose suit. We don’t want you accidentally making yourself float in a battle.”

“Oh yeah, of course, that would be pretty bad. But I love your costume, it’s really bright though, wouldn’t that be bad for stealth?”

“That’s why I’ve already figured out what I want to be. If or when I become a hero, I’m going to be a daylight hero.” Your costume was almost all white, but it also had bits of f/c with it. It consisted of white combat boots lined with stars in f/c near the soles, as well as 3/4 length leggings and a skin-tight top which was able to help cool you off. In terms of gadgets, you had heatproof f/c gloves, a utility belt which contained ice cubes in a small thermos, bandages, a small bottle of water. Other than those, you had a heatproof visor on your face. (Feel free to imagine up your own costume)

“Wait, you’ve already thought so far ahead, we still have 3 years here tho!”

“Well, maybe I’ll change my thoughts along the way, but lets listen to All Might before we get called out.”

“Right.”

It turned out you were put in team I, along with an invisible girl, who had introduced herself as Hagakure and a tail boy who was called Ojiro.

“Okay, Hagakure, you should go scout for them and me and Ojiro will protect the bomb.”

“On it!”, and she was soon out of the room, discarding her clothes in one of the many rooms to become completely invisible. The extra time for the villains was over and before you could begin anything, ice quickly made it’s way to your feet, trapping both you and Ojiro in the ice.

Ojiro pressed a finger to his ear pierce, “Hagakure! Where are you what’s the situation?”

“The Todoroki guy has frozen the whole building and he’s coming to the room right now!”

“Okay, I’ll get us out of this”, you activated your quirk, hands quickly heating up as you let them hover over your feet, the temperature enough to melt it off. Thanks to Todoroki, the whole room was cold, so you could freely use your quirk without overheating, but the negative to this was you could only use up any stored energy from before, since it was almost pitch-black in this room. The door slammed over before you could free Ojiro, revealing Todoroki, who seemed slightly surprised that you were free. He still had no clue how your quirk operated and what it did exactly.

“So,Todoroki-kun? You after this?”, you grabbed the bomb which was still coated in a thick layer of ice and ripped it right out of the ground, allowing a pair of wings to form on your back. He raised his right foot, slamming it down to create a large scale ice attack which you avoided easily, flying out of the window and onto the rooftop where your quirk could operate freely and without end, until your body temperature gets too hot.

Todoroki followed the particles of light out, creating his own path of ice, but by the time he arrived, you already had the bomb safely sitting on the other side of the roof, now instead of being coated with ice, being coated with light energy, which was hot to the touch and melted the ice. Wordlessly, he sent an ice attack towards you, hoping to knock you out to remove the barrier around the bomb. Well he knew it’d know you out, he knew his ice side was powerful. So when you rushed from behind the glacier, sending a ball of light towards him, he was shocked to say the least, but still dodged it.

“If you haven’t figured out by now, your ice only helps me. Using ice attacks is useless, to defeat me, you’ve gotta use your fire side.”

Todoroki frowned, “I can defeat you with just ice, no matter how powerful you are.”

“Hm?”, you arched an eyebrow then shrugged, “Alright, sure.” You created a few more light balls just enough so they were surrounding you, “Say bye then”, you sent them all at once, controlling them to follow Todoroki like guiding missiles. He quickly created a cube like shape of ice around himself, the ice shattering into pieces leaving him unscathed except for a few scratched form the shards which pierced him.

A glacier, larger than the others before raced towards you, and you thought quickly, covering the space around you with light energy which melted all the ice.

“Your quirk relies on light doesn’t it, so what if you run out of it”, Todoroki pointed out, now the rooftop was encased with a thick layer of ice all the way around which was too much for you to melt through without wasting all the energy you had saved. “And even though ice helps keep your body cold, how much of it can you handle before your body starts to get frostbite. My body was made to be able to withstand these temperatures, but yours is made to withstand heat.”

 He could already see that you were shivering, your costume didn’t provide much warmth at all, since you simply assumed you would always be too hot rather than cold.

“No way am I letting you win”, you said through clenched teeth, if there was one thing you hated, it was losing. In your palms you held bits of light energy to keep you warm, but you knew you couldn’t keep this up forever, you had to think and act quickly. Your eyes darted around the ice room, all that was there was you, Todoroki and the bomb. Of course! The bomb! The bomb was still covered with light energy. You grabbed onto the bomb, burning your hands in the process, but still managing to throw it at the ice, the heat melting through the ice to create a hole out. At that moment, you realised you had been baited. Todoroki knew you could withstand the heat of your own light energy better than he could and made it so you had no choice but to use the energy form there which got rid of the layer so he could get the bomb. You watched in horror as he reached towards the bomb and in panic, you sent one towards his hand which was badly aimed and went over his arm instead and into the ice walls.

You lunched forwards, even though you knew there was no way you could make it to him in time, as he touched the bomb, signalling the heroes win. Placing his left hand on the floor, everything was melted off. You were shivering from the cold, frost forming along your body. He took notice and felt just a bit bad, and got permission from all might to take you to the nurse’s office. After all, a hero’s role was to save.

You got on the bed, rubbing your arms to try and get warmth, recovery girl’s quirk couldn’t help you warm up since it wasn’t really an injury.

“Here, I’ll warm you up”, Todoroki stated bluntly holding out his left hand.

“R-right thanks”, you chattered, trying to fit both of your hands in his, which were extremely warm, but not too hot. After a few moments of awkward silence, with him staring at you, you let go. “Thanks for the help, but I think I can warm up myself from here on.”

“Alright L/n-san, but I have proven that I can defeat you with only my right side. I will not need my left side to defeat you.”

His words left you thinking for a while, he only required half his strength to take you out, which meant you still had miles to improve. When you got third in the quirk apprehension test, you thought you were pretty good, but you never noticed the difference in power between you and Todoroki till now. Training was definitely needed.

previous - masterlist - next

tagged: @dyna-m1ght​

#todoroki x you #todoroki x reader #mha todoroki #bnha shoto todoroki #todoroki x y/n #bnha todoroki #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki #todoroki shoto #bnha #mha #boku no academia #my hero academia

[darling-i-read-it]

Midnight Pools in Hollywood

Cliff Booth x reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: talking about sex, some teasing and shirtless brad pitt phew

Author’s Note: I loved loved loved this. Like the whole thing, I love it. I couldn’t figure out how to get an old hollywood au started but I CLIFF! BRAD! I really like this one oh my gosh golly geez

Summary: Rick's pool and fireworks and laughter and summer and Hollywood

Genre: FLUFF

Song:

(not my gif)

“What?!” you leaned back in the little trailer as Cliff moved to open the front door of it. You were getting out Brandys food. Cliff had just gotten back from driving around Rick all afternoon and even a shoot around noon today. He was in the middle of telling you all about it when he left out of the door which cut him off. He opened the door again and held up some papers that he had left in the car.

“Sorry I had to get some shit from the car. Anyway I saw this chick needing a ride somewhere and it’s the second time I’ve seen her so I thought it was funny. Think I might pick her up if I see her again.” You nodded and shrugged.

“As long as you don’t let her suck your dick babe. But what were you saying about Ricks earlier?” He had to think about that for a minute and you dropped Brandys food in her bowl before whistling as she ran over to you. You walked over to the counter in the small place.

“He said something about the pool. I can’t remember,” he said with a small chuckle, leaning onto the other side of the counter, a small smirk on his face as he faced you.

“Was it that we could use the pool?” you questioned. He raised an eyebrow.

“Why would we-”

“Because I called him at the set earlier and said we were coming over to raid his place and he agreed.” He shook his head with a laugh. “Come on we haven’t gone out in forever and if you plan to be giving some other hippie girl some ride then maybe we should raid Ricks. Come on Cliff,” you pleaded and put your elbow on the counter and then your head on your palm. He laughed and looked at Brandy who had just finished her food.

“Can you believe this one?” he asked, pointing at you. You rolled your eyes and put your head on his shoulder from across the counter. He finally just kissed your head and nodded.

“I guess I wouldn’t mind doing some raiding tonight like we’re in our twenties.” You clapped and moved away from him.

“Should I grab a swimsuit? Should I grab yours?” He gave you a look, still leaning against the counter. You nodded. “No swimsuits. Got it. Come on!” You grabbed his arm and dragged him out into the night air. You smiled and he made a big show about letting you drag him along. You threw yourself into the passenger seat of Ricks car and Cliff started it, backing out of the small back of the drive in.

The night was a nice California one. It was nearly perfect, Cliffs hand loosely on your thigh, your shorts hiking up just a bit and your shirt just perfectly almost fitting but not fitting. It was hot and humid but also had a light breeze. You adored the summer. You turned to Cliff. You adored Cliff too.

It wasn’t long before he pulled into Ricks driveway. There was another car in front of you going to the house above Ricks.

“You know Roman Polanski lives up there?” he questioned. Your eyes went wide.

“With Sharon Tate?” you asked, sitting up and moving your foot off the dashboard.

“Yeah. I’ve seen em.”

“The Valley Of The Dolls is my everything Cliff. Sorry I have to move in with Rick, I can't be with you anymore,” you said seriously and he rolled his eyes, turning off the car and getting out. You followed him and smiled, putting your arms on the hood of the car.

“I’m going to make some drinks if Rick hasn’t already.” You nodded.

“Maybe I should make Rick some drinks, you know butter him up so I can move in with him,” you teased and followed him into the house. Rick was sitting in the living room and you walked over, throwing your arms around him from the back.

“H-hey babe, glad you could make it,” he teased and you kissed his cheek before standing up again.

“I’m about to go ride Cliff in the pool but do you want a margarita before I kick you out of your home?” you asked, walking to the kitchen. Cliff rolled his eyes and handed you some ice he had gotten out. Rick turned off the recording he was listening to and stood up.

“Well I ain’t about to t-turn down a drink,” he said, walking to where you were standing. You pointed at Cliff and then turned to Rick.

“Go get me a floatie. Did you know that your neighbor is Sharon Tate? Because I am in love with her,” you said before starting the mixer.

After making more than you needed and leaving a lot of it with Rick you walked outside, holding two glasses in your hands. Cliff was throwing a floatie in from the pool shed when he saw you.

“I have brought drinks and knocked out Dalton,” you called. He walked over and you handed him a drink before putting yours down on the side of the pool. You looked at him and at the view from the pool and smiled.

“Are you supposed to get in after me?” he asked, taking a drink. You took his aviators off his shirt and put them beside your drink.

“I will get in but you have to take off your shirt,” you said pointing at him. His eyes went wide and he smirked before putting his hands on your shoulders and moving you closer to him before shoving you back. You landed in the pool with a splash, your shirt clinging to you. You laughed and he took off his shirt before putting his drink down and throwing his t-shirt to the side as well and got in, his splash hitting your face as he came in. You swam to the floatie and hoisted yourself up onto the little chair.

“Ah don’t even think about it,” he called and grabbed your waist before shoving you back into the water with him, causing you to submerge and laugh when you came up. You wrapped your legs around his waist and clung to him so he couldn’t bring you down without bringing himself down as well.

Your face was close to his and you admired his features in the pool lights.

“Do you think Sharon Tate can see us?” you whispered and he chuckled, causing you to laugh as well.

“I think she’s asleep like the rest of the world.” You rolled your eyes and kissed him gently, hands on the nape of his neck. You let your legs drop to the shallow end of the pool so you could touch and push yourself closer to him.

You kissed him harsher and only stopped when you heard the sliding glass door open.

“I would prefer you keep it PG-13 out here while I sleep,” Rick called, holding the whole blender cup in his hand. You laughed and turned to him, Cliff wrapping his arms around you from the back.

“Rick go inside,” you told him. He gave you a look and you felt Cliff grab your shirt and slip the wet fabric off of you and throw it aside.

“If Roman Polanski sees the two of you going at it you could get arrested-” he pointed the blender at you- “and I’m n-not going to pay for it buddy.” You slid out of Cliffs grip and swam to the edge of the pool.

“Babe, don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it.” He pointed it at you one more and then at Cliff to whom he gave a look and then a wink. Cliff swam over to you and you fell back into his grasp.

“Goodnight Rick,” Cliff called. He rolled his eyes and closed the door. You leaned back into Cliffs chest and smiled dreamily at the stars above the pool. He looked at you and wondered how the hell he got there, talking about Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate in a pool in Hollywood with you.

You turned back around with every intention of kissing him again when you heard the loud boom of fireworks from down the hill. Your eyes went wide and you both looked over there, seeing the end product of some sparkles in the sky.

You swam over to the other end of the pool and Cliff followed as your eyes followed the new lights that had entered the black in the night sky. You leaned into Cliffs side and he wrapped his arms back around you as the booms echoed through the sky.

“I know one thing for sure,” Cliff started and you glanced at him in acknowledgement, “Sharon Tate and Roman Polanski aren’t seeing the view I am.” He looked down at you and then the fireworks and you couldn’t help yourself from kissing him again, clinging to his neck, a smile on your face.

“Well they’ve never had a night so perfect,” you promised when you pulled away. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Well shit babe,” he teased. You rolled your eyes and another firework went off before you kissed him again.

Cliff : @satanslov3r

#cliff booth x reader #cliff booth imagines

[supernatural-jackles]

guess who back? me aka long feedback anon :D i missed you, how have you been? i had a rough couple of weeks, but i’m starting to feel better now. sadly i wasn’t able to catch up on the bet until recently, but luckily it meant i got to have a mini-binge session. so this review’s just going to be a jumbled mess of everything that happened from chapter 20 up until the recent update.

vegas was amazing and just the perfect vacation those two needed. they deserve to relax a bit and i’m glad their relationship got stronger. also we met danneel! i wasn’t expecting that but it was a pleasant surprise. sadly not all good things can last forever. chapter 22 was a ride. we met ruth and lil’ alex! the small interaction between alex and jensen was so sweet 🥺🥰 mike needs some serious help cause his obsession is not healthy. i thought he was all bark, no bite, but now he’s just crazy, especially when he had a gun pointed to reader, and caused a crash just so jensen would die. talk about obsessive. and it made me so mad when he said everything was fine until reader showed up, as if he wasn’t the one trying to make her miserable. glad he’s out of jensen’s and reader’s life. i love reader and jensen, but if i’m being honest, baxter has to be my favorite character in the series. i love how he just has his own personality, and cats are just so cute!

the ending of chapter 23 had me on the edge of my seat. i was so scared for jensen, and the way you wrote the ending was heartbreaking (i loved it). last chapter we got some very sweet moments between reader and donna!! i love how close they’ve gotten. i will hate mike forever, but i’m glad reader got closure, and we finally have an answer as to why mike is so obsessed over making reader miserable. and jensen is ok! phew, i was worried. i can’t wait to see what mike has against jensen, and i hope reader and jensen are doing ok after the accident.

also i noticed some changes to the bet masterlist, Jen 👀 i see we’re getting some time stamps in the future, but i’m sad this series is coming to an end soon :(

lots of love 💕

- long feedback anon :)

Hi long feedback anon!

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. It has been the week from hell and it's just the start of how it's going to be from now on unfortunately. I am very grateful and thankful for your kind, detail messages about what you enjoy about each part of this series. It means so much to me that you share them with me. It truly does keep me wanting to share more with you.

I am happy that you've enjoyed from their vacation onwards. They did deserve to have a moment of peace before shit hit the fan with Mike. We learned how truly messed up he is and saw just what lengths he was willing to go in order to ruin his sister's life.

Everyone is okay though, and things will move forward now that Jensen's awake. You'll find out in part 25 what Mike has on Jensen.

Yes, there are some changes to the masterlist. After the final part is posted, those ??? will be filled in. I'm sad this is coming to an end myself, but there will be timestamps, and little tidbits into their lives.

Love to you! Thank you for reading! 💜

#Jen loves long feedback anon #fic love #the bet #jen answers asks

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

#an innocent sin #dohye x noah #noah x dohye #long post #tori talks #tori has opinions #reactions #yes I do this often in our dms #poor mei #toriqueue

[fanfoolishness]

Growing Things

The road to recovery is a long one, but the journey is easier with good company. Steven and Connie work in the garden and discuss the past and future.  Connverse, 2797 words, a little angst, a lot of fluff.  

(A sequel to my Steven-gets-therapy stories Full Disclosure and ice cream sundaes that asks, what if Prickly Pair had occurred in a healthy way?)

***

A throb of power, a humming in his ears, a light, a song.  Rage boiled in his chest; he sobbed into his hands, gasping with the weight of it.  Pink light shimmered around him.  It built itself into a cage of lies and fears, and he flung his hands out, fingers sliding down its smooth surface.  As it closed in around him it changed into a mirror that glinted and rippled.  He tried to hide his face, but he could see how much he looked like her --

Steven woke up suddenly, breathing hard, sweaty and trembling.  I’m here, I’m here, he remembered.  He ran a shaky hand through his unruly hair, wiping the sweat away.  

A knock at the sliding door startled him, and he looked up, fighting momentary panic.  The fear dissolved when he saw Connie waving at him through the glass.  He nodded to her and she let herself in with the key he’d given her ages ago.

“Hey!” she said happily, but the smile on her face quickly faded.  “Are you okay?”  

Steven took a few breaths.  Focus, then let it go.  No feeling lasts forever.   “No,” he said, simply, honestly.  Another breath.  “Give me a minute.  I think I will be.”  

She sat down beside him, kicking off her shoes and curling up on the bed.  She leaned against him and settled her head on his shoulder. It was one of her newest favorite spots to lean on him, and he relaxed into her, his breathing slowing.  

“Another nightmare?” Connie asked, hugging him.  He dug his hands into his thighs, gripping hard at first, then gradually relaxing until his knuckles were no longer white.

“Yeah.  Not a flashback or anything. Just me, stuck in my own head.”  He paid attention to how he felt, the way Connie felt against him, the sound of his breathing, his feet flat on the floor.  

Get out of your head.  It was starting to help.

“Well, I’m here too,” Connie reassured him.  She pressed a gentle kiss to his temple, then his cheek.  He grinned despite the nightmare’s memory, fighting the sudden urge to float up to the ceiling and take her with him. He turned his face to hers and kissed her, her mouth parting open beneath his, and the nightmare quickly slipped back into distant recollection.  How could he think of that when the way Connie held him was so right?

They drew apart a moment later, both slightly breathless, Connie as pink-cheeked as Steven felt.  “Thanks for coming over,” Steven said, suddenly shy.  “Even if I overslept.”

“Nah, I’m early.  I might have missed you a little bit since yesterday,” said Connie, pretending to look innocent.  Then she giggled and nudged him with her shoulder.  “Besides, I’m starting to get into this whole gardening thing with you.  These plants won’t take care of themselves… unless you’ve added any --”

Steven laughed a little, climbing out of bed.  Connie stood up beside him, slipping on her shoes.  “No, no, these ones up here are still just normal Earth plants.  No cheating.  I’ll get dressed.  Um, maybe you should --”

“Suddenly shy, Steven Universe?”  She turned around so that she couldn’t see him change, but she was blushing as she did so.  

“Um, maybe,” Steven said, his voice threatening to crack for a second.  He gulped through it, disguising it with a swallow.  Oh jeez.  “Uh, maybe I just don’t want you to be overwhelmed by my extremely handsome physique,” he blustered. Better.  

They’d only officially been dating for six and a half weeks, and he was still figuring out how to be both a friend and a boyfriend.  He wasn’t sure how exactly to do it, but it felt like he was doing okay.  Except what was this flirting thing, again?  He hoped she didn’t think he was too ridiculous.

He pulled off the light tank top he’d slept in.  Part of him half-hoped Connie would watch him get changed after all -- but that was both too exciting and too terrifying to handle just yet, so he quickly changed with his back to her, sweating again.  Where had he put that deodorant?  Ah, there it was. Phew.

“Well, it’s true,” Connie mused from across the room.  “I do think you’re handsome.”

“Come on, Connie, don’t tease me,” he said, rummaging for fresh underwear and jeans.  He put them on at lightning speed.

“I wasn’t teasing, but I can start.  Isn’t calling you handsome one of the perks of being your girlfriend?”  The way she said girlfriend was light and airy, tinged with pride and the excitement of newness.  The sound of it made him feel all floaty again.

“Can I just say that us actually dating is… it’s kinda weird, and more than a little scary, and also I really love it?  Because it’s awesome.  You’re awesome. And beautiful, and smart, and funny, and badass, and -- well, you know,” Steven said in a rush, pulling on a fresh shirt.  It got stuck temporarily on his head, and he pulled it down, his hair going every which way as he did so.  “Okay, I’m decent.”

“Decently goofy, that is,” said Connie, turning back around.  They headed out onto the deck, and she laughed brightly, one of his favorite sounds.  “I feel the same way.  It’s weird, and I get all these crazy butterflies every time I look at you, but you’re still Steven.  It’s like… being best friends plus this whole new thing where I get to hold your hand and kiss you and tease you until you blush.  I’m a big fan.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”  He bent down to examine some of the plants in their pots and planters.  He had considered growing them magically, but there was something comforting about these ones, their shades of green and blue and goldenrod a cheery sight against the Gem-constructed dome.  Maybe it was that they were content to stay here and grow where he’d asked them to; but maybe it was that there was no way they would cause problems any more severe than allergies.

“It isn’t really cheating,” Connie said, watering a row of blue and pink-blooming hydrangeas in their beds.  

“Huh?” Steven asked, nonplussed over by the burgeoning azaleas.  Their first blossoms were just starting to unfurl in shocking fuschia. 

“Using magic to grow these.  It would be okay if you did, I think.”  She paused, trailing a hand over a bundle of pink blossoms.  “Magic’s part of you just as much as being human, if that’s what you’re worried about.  It’s not wrong to use it, and it’s not wrong to not use it, you know?”

How did she always see through him?  He was glad she knew him so well, but sometimes, it made it difficult to hide.  He thought back to the sessions he’d started going to, human therapy with someone who didn’t know him, didn’t know Dad and the Gems, didn’t know any of this stuff… but someone who let Steven talk.  And one of the things he’d suggested was reconnecting to his human side.

“I know.  But I fought so hard to be a good Gem, to get control of my powers, to save the galaxy… I forgot about who I was as a human.  I guess this is me trying to figure it out, one plant at a time.  Plus my counselor thinks the whole gardening thing is a good idea.” He brushed his fingertips over the spiny leaves of a variegated aloe plant. “Thanks for helping me look into it.  Peridot’s advice was super technical, but just hanging out and taking care of plants is a little more my speed.”

She left the watering can, closing the distance between them and taking his hand.  “It’s okay if it takes time.”

“I know,” he said, and he did know it, and the thought made him glad.  There was a time, not that long ago, that he wouldn’t have believed her.  That he would have thought she wasn’t telling the truth.  “That’s why I’ve been working so hard on letting myself not work.  I really needed help.  And it feels good to be getting it.”

Connie looked down at his hand, held in her slender one.  “I’m so sorry you were struggling so much.  I knew something was wrong, I just… I didn’t know what exactly.”

He gripped her hand tighter.  “Well, my counselor says I can be really stubborn,” he laughed.  “And he says I’m really good at hiding things.  The Gems didn’t know, Dad didn’t know…”  He sighed, the laughter in his voice fading.  

Oh.  There it was, that feeling.  Steven tried to sit with it, instead of trying to shove it aside.  It was still a difficult thing for him.  “I just can’t believe I lost a whole year, feeling like that.  Empty and angry and numb….  I wish it had been different. That I’d been better at dealing with everything.  I mean, I could have been going off to college with you in fall, and we could have been dating so much sooner because I wouldn’t have been so messed up.  I wouldn’t have worried everyone so much, or scared you so much that night -- I’m really sorry -- ”

“Hey, hey hey hey,” said Connie softly.  

He looked up.  She searched his face, her brown eyes wide and earnest.  She smiled gently at him, and he realized what she meant.

“Oh man, I’m doing it again,” Steven said, shaking his head and smiling faintly.  “That thing where I assume I have to apologize if I try to talk about my feelings.  And that other thing where I assume I have to take care of everyone else’s problems instead of mine.  Ahhh, it’s really hard to unlearn!” He let go of her hand, throwing his up in the air.  “What’s that saying?  Two steps forward, one step back?  It’s annoying.”

“I think it’s really normal,” said Connie, reaching out and booping him on the nose.  He giggled.  Sure enough, the painful feeling from earlier was already starting to fade, all the less powerful for having been shared but not ruminated on.  It was a balance he worked at with every counseling visit.  More and more often, he was getting better at it.

“And I think it’s amazing you’ve worked so hard.  I can tell you have, Steven.  You just seem… like you again.  Maybe it’s a you that’s still figuring things out, but I am too,” said Connie.  “It’s not like I know everything about what I want to do.  There’s my classes now, which college to pick, my driving exam… and how much time I want to spend in space in the future versus if I want a career that’s more Earth-based… there’s a lot to think about!”

Steven kissed her on the cheek, then wiped off a bit of dirt that had gotten on her nose.  “I know it’s hard to choose -- oh man, do I know -- but I hope you know you can do anything you want, Connie. You’re so smart, and you work so hard.  Whatever you pick, you’ll be incredible.”  She flushed, but didn’t contradict him.  “And if you ever want to practice driving the Dondai, I’ll go with you any time.  I know you’ll pass it.  Stevonnie was a great driver even when we were kids, so I’m sure you’ll do great.”

She poked him in the side.  “Yeah, but it’s a little different when someone’s grading you on it.  And I think the racing moves Stevonnie’s so good at are a little frowned upon in the driving test.”

“The test wasn’t bad at all,” said Steven.  “I got dinged on a couple things, but they still passed me.  Turns out parallel parking is crazy hard when you’re used to parking on an entire beach…”

“Dork,” said Connie, smirking.

“Guilty.”

“You know, we’re not doing a very good job with the plants, Steven,” she said, glancing around them.  

“Someone’s very distracting,” said Steven, halfheartedly picking up his watering can.  “You’re just really good to talk to, and super cute, and you smell really nice --”

“Such a dork!” She went to pick up a trowel, but sighed.  “Dang it, you’re really distracting too.  Your hair’s doing this extra curly thing where it’s sticking up in the back and it’s adorable, and I keep just wanting to touch you and hold your hand --”

“Hey, I have an idea,” said Steven shyly, an idea occurring to him.  “I know a way we could be a little more productive.”

“You better not tell me to go home already, Universe,” Connie said, raising an eyebrow.  “I thought I was supposed to go to lunch with you and your dad and the Gems later.”

“What do you take me for, Maheswaren?” he scoffed.  “No.  I was thinking --” He stepped backward, leaving a little space between them, and held out his hand.  “I bet Stevonnie could focus more.”

She grinned, blinking rapidly, her eyes a little too bright.  He knew how she felt -- hopeful, eager, excited -- and a little nervous.  “Are you sure?” she asked.  “I mean -- we haven’t since….”

He took a deep breath.  “Since before I broke down?  I know.  But I think… I think I feel enough like me now that I want to try, if you do.”

Her grin deepened into a fierce, blazing expression, the type of expression that said she would take on the world.  He loved that look. “Then let’s dance.”

Their dance was slow at first, the steps a little fumbling, out of practice.  For a moment, Steven’s eagerness shifted into worry.  Maybe he wasn’t ready after all.  Maybe he still wasn’t enough of himself to fuse.  Maybe --

But Connie’s dancing was so joyful, so familiar, that his worry slipped away.  It’s okay.  I’m me.  We’re us.   A lightness filled him, a happiness so intense his eyes pricked.  He took her hand in his, and together they whirled, they spun, they fused  --

Stevonnie laughed, the sound ringing throughout the dome. It felt so good to be themselves again.  “Yes!” they crowed.  They felt so much different than they had the last time they had formed.  That day, months ago, Stevonnie had felt unsettled and strange throughout.  They had struggled to stay themselves in a way that hadn’t made sense, and they had only remained a few moments before Steven and Connie unfused.  Now they understood why, and it was a relief to once more feel like Stevonnie, confident, relaxed, at ease.

They realized things felt a little different.  “Ooh!” they said, reaching up to feel stubble on their cheeks. “Huh, might be a good look for me.”  Stevonnie reached down to touch their toes, then stood up and stretched as tall as they could.  Ahhh, that was nice.  

Stevonnie glanced around the garden, noting how little work had been done this morning.  Steven and Connie really were too much sometimes (only in the best way, of course).  “Yeah, I think it’ll be a little easier not to be distracted this way.”  They collected the watering can and the pruning shears.  

Stevonnie hummed to themselves as they made their way through the rows of Steven’s garden, watering here, pruning the occasional dead branch there.  A few plants needed some fertilizer, and Stevonnie sank their hands into the soil of each pot, relishing the feel of cool dirt against their fingertips.  A breeze played through the open door of the conservatory, its touch blowing lightly through their hair.  The morning sunlight streamed through the glass, brilliant, coruscating, lining the edges of the plants with golden light. Below them, Stevonnie could hear the surf breaking against the sand, wave after wave, the sound mingling with their humming.

Stevonnie finished with the gardening in an hour, much quicker than it would have taken Steven and Connie with all of their flirting.  They wondered what the future held for them both: Connie’s schooling and future career, Steven’s Gem and human struggles and his improvements, this new layer to their friendship that had developed recently.  So many changes, but good ones, they thought.

They looked around at the garden, feeling a warm sense of pride at how well it was doing.   Steven and Connie had worked so hard to help this place become lush and beautiful.  It had changed, too.  No longer a sterile Gem structure, it was a true garden, vibrant and alive and growing.

Stevonnie sat down cross-legged in the middle of the conservatory, surrounded by greens and pinks and yellows, scents of jasmine and rose.  The surf was steady in the background.  Stevonnie closed their eyes, considering the future, and took a moment to breathe deeply.

They smiled, calm and serene.  Maybe they didn’t have future vision, but the future seemed bright after all.

****

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*

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(Author’s note:

I had this rattling around in my drafts but was waiting until Prickly Pair aired to figure out what direction I wanted to go with it. WOW that episode was a gut punch, wasn’t it? So I felt I had to reimagine it in a much healthier setting since in these stories, Steven’s breakdown occurred earlier and he was willing to go to therapy. You can see he’s not 100% better — old fears and patterns slip through — but he’s social now and overall has a much better outlook.

I also thought it was important to spell out that dating wasn’t really possible until Steven had made significant improvements in his mental health, and that dating/relationships alone can’t save you from mental illness. They can help if there’s a solid foundation there, but you can’t jump into a relationship at your lowest point because your self is too wounded to be a good partner. So, this is set some months after Steven had been in therapy. They were very close before then but not officially dating yet, at least in these stories.)

#connverse #steven universe future #suf #steven universe #steven x connie #connie maheswaran #stevonnie #steven for therapy 2020 #fanfoolishness steven universe fic

[raysofcrosby]

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW PT. 8

"𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 ����𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵...𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥?" ━ 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫

gif credit (x)

series masterlist

requested: yes | no

warnings: implied smut, otherwise some slight fluff and angst.

word count: 4,916 [i barely proofread this bc lack of sleep so plz dont h8 me]

authors note: phew ok i was a little scared that i wouldn’t get this out before sunday, but i literally forced myself to sit down and write (both as a way to destress and get this done) and voila, i finished! i hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, i love everyone for reblogging and liking! i love seeing your tags, and hearing what you guys think about the series! i hope you enjoy and without further ado, here’s part 8!

Your last few weeks with Tyler felt like you were living on cloud 9. As usual, you and Kennedy switched off on nights of who got the dorm room, so more often than not, you'd been at Tyler's. In those few weeks, while you were dedicated to studying and preparing for finals week, Tyler often pulled his charm and managed to get you away from studying for an hour or two, and as he put it, christen every surface in the house with you, though honestly, you wouldn't have been surprised if he had done that before. None of that mattered, his past didn't matter and neither did his former hookups because he was here with you. You went to bed with him almost every night either cuddling into his side, him cuddling you or the both of you cuddling with the dogs.

Literal Cloud 9.

But that easy lifestyle came to a pause as finals week loomed over you, Kennedy and your entire campus. Luckily for you, you only had three finals. One final on the first day, a final the morning before tonight's game and then one on Monday. Your first two finals you felt as if you aced them– their courses were an easy A and you never struggled or felt stressed whenever it came to studying or writing papers for them. Your last final, however, was the one you were the most worried about– and quite frankly, spent the most time studying.

Stupid Physiology and Anatomy.

You were determined to lock yourself away in the library after the game tonight to study for Monday, but as usual, Tyler invited you over, even offering to help you study. You accepted and like always, he picked you up from your dorm and took you home. Of course, not failing to stop at the grocery store so you guys could pick up some quick ingredients to make yourselves mini pizzas while you studied. A study break, Tyler called it. Though, while more tomato sauce ended up on the counter and ingredients were tossed around– and your pizzas turned out a little crispy...it was a fun distraction, one that you were grateful Tyler planned and one that he knew you desperately needed.

However, when dinner came and went, you plopped down onto the couch in his living room and broke out your study cards You set them out all around you and started to plan out where you'd start when Tyler came down and plopped beside you. You were suspicious at first because you could feel him staring at you from the corner of his eye, but you brushed it off. It wasn't until you felt him creep his hands around your waist and press a kiss against your neck, did you realize what he was trying to do.

"No, Tyler. I have to study!"

He pressed another kiss to your neck, higher this time before pulling away and pouting at you. "It's anatomy, I like to think that you know enough about that."

You laughed, turning at him and poking him in the chest with a card. "Not the point Seguin. How am I supposed to for sure know what a–" you took a glimpse at the card. "Epiglottis is, if I don't study?"

Tyler looked off and mumbled to himself before looking back at you. "That's the thingy that stops food and water from getting into your lungs, right?"

You flipped the card over, reading a definition that summed up what Tyler had said. "Lucky guess."

"No, not lucky guess," he pulled you closer to him. "If I know what any of this fancy stuff means, then you do too. Because I only know it from helping you study, which no offense...is a shit ton, ya nerd."

You sighed, staring down at the card and feeling his eyes burn holes into your head. "Tyler..."

"Pleaseeeeee?" He started to squeeze your sides before tickling your waist. You smacked at his hands, trying to get them away and failing. "Please, please, please?"

He lied you down onto the couch and you sighed, smacking his chest with your card. "Fine."

He leaned down and kissed you before pulling away and sitting up, taking off his shirt. He looked down at you and wiggled his eyebrows. "If you're so torn up about not studying...you could always study me?"

You smiled, reaching up and wrapping your arms around him and tugging him down closer to you, nudging your nose against his own. "Studying can wait."

❒❒❒❒

Your studying session took you from downstairs on his living room couch, to upstairs on the theatre couch. While Tyler had managed to strip you from your clothing downstairs, he carried you upstairs, fully clothed and even offering you a pair of boxers and a shirt because 'it was only fair for what I have planned next.'

What he had planned next, of course, was studying...but a studying game he made fun. He'd help you study your cards by using reading them to you and if you couldn't tell him the definition and point out where the card belonged, then you'd have to strip (see how unfair?) And for every 15  cards you got right, he'd strip. Of course, Tyler being Tyler started to pout when you were still dressed in his t-shirt and boxers and he was left with nothing but 1 card left and his boxers. When you got that last card correct and he had to full-on strip, he was even more upset. Though, he didn't let that fully show until after he congratulated you on being smart and reassuring you that you'd ace this final.

And of course, you rewarded him with some good ole fun since he helped you study for a while, but then after that, it was back to studying again. And that was the routine: Study, break, study– just like that. Now, the two of you were relaxing on the couch. He was sitting up and you were lying down, your head rested on his thigh, the both of you covered with your shared blanket as he rubbed your arm with one hand and played with your hair with the other one.

"You know, for someone who played 65 minutes of intense hockey...you sure do have a lot of pent up energy," you turned your head and looked up at him. "four times in three hours is...a little aggressive."

His childlike smile took over his face as his smugness crept in. "If you keep moving your head, it's going to be five times." He leaned down and kissed you before sitting back up. "Let me guess. Was Cole a one and done, kind of guy?"

You felt a little embarrassed to reveal your past sex life to Tyler, especially since you knew how much he disliked Cole, but that soon eased. "More like once a week and that stopped before summer."

Tyler burst into laughter and you felt yourself at ease when the vibration from his chest echoed throughout his body. You could listen to him laugh for hours on end and never get tired. "No wonder why you're able to keep up with me." He poked at your nose, "you've got pent up energy too."

You laughed and swatted his hand away, sticking your tongue out at him. "It's all fun and games until you break a hip, Seguin."

"Eh, I don't see that happening anytime soon," he smiles, nodding back down at his lap.

You roll your eyes and look up at him. "Better calm down boy, because we've still got some studying to do."

"If it leads us back to where we are right now, then I'm perfectly okay with that." He smiled and you reached an arm up and cradled the left side of his face. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your nose and then your lips, resting his forehead against your own. "I think I could stay like this forever."

"Oh, I'm sure you'd love to have me in your lap forever, Seguin." You joked, looking at him.

Only then did you see the look in his eyes that you'd never really noticed before. It was a soft, tender look, one that you'd only seen in movies or described in the Nicholas Sparks books your brothers teased you about. "Well yeah, but no...I meant–"

A creak, following by a thud caught your attention and you were silently curing whatever it was that interrupted whatever Tyler was about to confess. "Did your front door just open?" You asked, pulling away from Tyler and looking towards the open theatre room door.

"Hey Seggy, it's just me! Are you here?" Oh shit, you knew that voice anywhere...it was Jamie.

"Oh fuck!" Tyler grunted, scrambling off of the couch and standing up quickly, resulting in you falling onto the floor with a thud. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry," He apologized, stepping over you and looking around for his shorts and putting them on.

You reached out for your fallen blanket and wrapped it around your body. "What is he doing here?!"

"I don't know, it's almost 1 A.M." He whispered back, rushing towards the door and turning back to you. "Just...stay here."

No sooner than he disappeared around the corner and down the stairs, did you take in your surroundings. You grabbed all of your study cards and your notebooks, quickly shoving them beneath the couch. Your heart was racing and it felt like you could pass out at any moment. This was the worst-case scenario– Jamie walking in on you and Tyler before you ever had the opportunity to tell him about your relationship. You'd spent weeks, thinking of this scenario and telling yourself that it wouldn't have a chance of coming true...and yet it was right downstairs. I mean, there's no other way you'd be able to explain exactly why you were naked in Tyler's house.

"Oh, dude did I...interrupt you?" You heard Jamie say as you paused your clean up and moved a little more towards the door to wait for the 'coast is clear' sign.

"What? No...why?" God, could Tyler be any more panicked? Just by the way he stuttered over his reply, was enough for Jamie not to believe it.

"Because there are women's clothes on your couch...unless this bra is yours?"

Your eyes widened as you mentally smacked yourself for ever letting Tyler undress you on his couch. He didn't strip out of his clothes down there, which was evident by the fact that you were the one stranded in a blanket and he was in the comfort of his running shorts.

"Oh uh...yeah, uh..."

"Jesus Tyler, get it together," you whispered, closing your eyes and resting your head against the door frame.

"Dude...are you back with Maisy again?"

"WHAT? No...why would you think that?"

Jamie paused and it killed you not to know why he did. "SMU? Is this her sweatshirt?"

You could feel yourself begin to sweat as the fear of Jamie recognizing anything down there as yours, set in. He even bought you that sweatshirt your freshman year move in! What if he recognized it as yours? Did Tyler had the capability to play it off as you leaving it here from the last time you watched the dogs? Honestly...probably not.

"Oh Uhm," Tyler cleared his throat, once, twice...and a third time. "No, it's not Maisy's."

"Let me guess," Jamie sighed, probably tossing your sweatshirt onto the back of the couch. "You found another hot girl from SMU then?"

"Well, yeah she's pretty hot," Tyler replied, and you could tell by the way that he ended his statement, that he was smiling and you couldn't help but wonder if you should be flattered that Tyler said you were hot or scared of your current situation.

"Dude, you've got to stay away from the college girls! No college girl is worth the drama, even if she's smoking hot. I mean, did you ever listen to Y/N and her Cole drama? Or the drama from this last year? You're wanting to put up with more of that?"

"But–"

"Anyway," your brother sighed. "Y/N asked me to come by sometime to pick up her Psychology or Anatomy book or whatever. I guess she left it here when she sat the dogs last week. She's been so busy with finals, so she forgot it and I forgot to come by before the game today. But I'm with Bish checking up on their house so since we're in the neighborhood, I thought I'd stop by."

Now you really wanted to smack yourself. In the mess and stress of finals and hanging out with Tyler and the pups, you completely forgot that you had asked Jamie to stop by and pick up your book. Though, in your defense...you weren't supposed to be here anyway.

"The Physiology and Anatomy one?" Tyler must have seen the confused look on Jamie's face, so he cleared his throat. "She's been complaining about that course whenever she tapes up my ankles– huge bore of a book. Do you know where she left it? I can grab–"

"No, no. You go back to your girl." Jamie patted Tyler on the shoulder, "she told me where she left it. I'll just grab it and go."

You could hear Jamie's footsteps come up the stairs and it was like you were frozen in place. You had told him it was in the theatre, which is where you did most of your studying at Tyler's. When your eyes scanned the room, you saw it lying on the left side of the couch, right on top of the small side table. You considered running across the room and shoving it under the couch until you focused in on how close their footsteps were.

"No, really...I can grab it for you. You wouldn't want to leave Bish in the car!" Tyler said, obviously trying to prevent Jamie from coming up the stairs.

"He's not a dog, Segs. Plus the A.C. is on...I think he's good. Now really, you go back to your girl, I'm a big boy. I can find a college textbook."

There were no good places to hide in the theatre room and you could feel the panic in your chest only continue to rise. There was not enough time to book it across the hall and into Tyler's room without risking being seen and identified by Jamie. You looked to your right and saw the little crook that Tyler's door made, rest up against his entertainment center. A designing flaw you'd pointed out to him many times– but not one Tyler cared too much about to fix. Right now, you felt like hugging that stupid flaw, because it was about to become your saving grace.

You quickly opened the door and ducked into the space, pulling the door right behind you and casting you in the crook. Just as you went to peek through the crack to see if they were near...they walked into the room. You held your breath as you saw Tyler relax a little bit, knowing that you had managed to hide just in time. You moved away from the crack in the door, pressing yourself against the wall as you heard the two of them move around.

"She said it was in here somewhere...."

"Are you sure she left it here? I haven't seen it."

"I mean," Jamie paused, digging into his sweatshirt pocket for his phone. "She texted me yesterday saying that she desperately needed it and forgot it in the theatre. But she's also really stressed...so it's possible."

"Great! Then maybe she just–"

"I just thought that I'd come and check, just in case. Acing these finals means a lot to her. Plus Jordie and I are planning a huge Hawaii trip for her and Kennedy after graduation. So I just don't want her to stress herself out too bad and ruin her chances at getting a good grade...just because of this book."

You felt a twinge of guilty hit your chest hard. Jordie and Jamie were currently planning an amazing trip for you and your best friend...and you were not only hiding the biggest secret from them but also currently hiding behind a door...naked and wrapped in a blanket.

"HA!" Jamie yelled, scaring you and almost causing you to jump and knee the entertainment center. "I found it! Physiology and Anatomy, perfect!"

"Huh, I guess she really did leave it." What a liar, since the two of you were just using that book for a guideline to your cards.

"Hey, do you know that your entertainment center is completely blocking your door?"

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

Your heart was hammering against your chest as you closed your eyes and prayed that Jamie would stay as far away from your location as possible.

"I mean, either you need to get this door realigned or figure out a better place for your entertainment center, man. This door closes too fast?" You watched in horror as Jamie's fingers curled around the upper side of the door. He tugged it towards him, revealing you and your hiding space as his attention was all on Tyler. "It could really damage it."

You looked at Tyler as you gulped, sending him a helpless look. His eyes were wide and staring in your direction, as Jamie held all of his focus on Tyler. "Why do you look like you've seen a–" Jamie finally turned to you, "Y/N?"

You were speechless. The moment you opened your mouth to explain, your throat dried and it was as if you forgot how to speak. You could see Jamie was still trying to register in his brain why you were there. You watched helplessly as his eyes traveled down to your blanket before coming right back up. It was scary, watching his eyes gloss over and darken all at once– something that only happened whenever he was really angry...or on the ice.

"Bish and Jordie were right...weren't they?" He turned to Tyler and you already knew what was going to happen. "You're sleeping with my sister?"

Tyler opened his mouth to speak, stuttering to come up with an answer at first as he looked at you over Jamie's shoulder. "Listen, Chubbs it's not–"

In a flashing moment, Jamie swung at Tyler, landing a solid hit right on Tyler's eye. "Are you sleeping with my fucking sister, Tyler?"

You pushed past Jamie and rushed to Tyler's side, tugging your blanket tighter against your body before placing yourself in between the two grown men. "Jamie, stop!" You yelled, your voice cracking since your throat had been so dry.

You turned your attention to Tyler, who was just nodding you off as you brushed your thumb against the warm red spot beneath his left eye. "Jesus Christ," Jamie scoffed, shaking his head as he rested both hands on top of his head. "Jordie and Bish were right. You two are...you're..."

You've always heard the phrase of someone 'turning green' whenever they were going to be sick, but you never understood it until you looked at Jamie in this very moment. The look in his eyes and his expression on his face said it all– he looked as if he could throw up at any moment. He went to say something again, closing his mouth before turning away from you and Tyler and rushing out of the room.

"Jamie!" You called out, turning to Tyler who just nodded at you to go after him.

"Jamie, stop!" This time you screamed, feeling the desperation practically leaking from you as you held the blanket tight against your body and ran down the steps after your older brother.  "Please, stop!"

Yet his steps hadn't faulted and he kept the same pace and his back to you. He didn't need to turn around for you to understand just how mad he was. You could feel the anger radiating off of him as he came to a stop at the front door. "Jamie, please..." You cried, not even realizing that tears had started to fall down your cheeks until you heard yourself speak.

He kept his back turned to you for what felt like hours but was only seconds. "When?" He asked, finally turning to you, his look of anger still plastered on his face. "When did this all start?"

"I-I mean I've had feelings for him for a while and we-we've been flirting and–"

"When did you start having sex with him? Halloween?" The loud and harsh tone of his voice, startled you back a few steps and for the first time, you were scared of your brother.

"N-no! Not until I broke up with Cole." He turned away from you again, this time grabbing the doorknob and you reached out for his arm, grasping onto his sweatshirt sleeve. "P-please, Jamie just...listen, please."

Jamie starts to turn the knob, ignoring you before he took a deep breath and sighed, turning back to face you with a look of hurt written all over his face. "I just...I don't get it! Don't you know his reputation, Y/N?" He asked, his left hand waving towards the stairs. "It's not a lie! He sleeps with girls all the time, it's who he is!"

You tugged the blanket tighter, letting your grip on his sweatshirt sleeve fall. "It's different with me J. I...I think I–"

Before you were even able to confess your feelings, Jamie brushed them off with an aggressive scoff. "Don't even say it, Y/N. Do you really think that you love him? That he loves you?" His voice was getting higher and if you could shrink into the floor, you would. "He's not even capable of loving someone, Y/N! And you–" he drops a hand at you, shaking his head. "You're just a kid."

"I'm almost 22-years-old, Jamie. I'm not that little girl with pigtails following you, Jenny and Jordie around like a puppy. I'm a big girl capable of making decisions and I know what I feel!"

Jamie just stared at you as you felt your confidence start to dwindle off, just as fast as it appeared. But then you saw it, a small moment in his eyes where his anger subsided and he seemed to be taking in your statement. Maybe this was it, maybe he wouldn't brush off your feelings for Tyler like it's a pre-school crush, and actually take you seriously. For that moment, he was the big brother that you went to for so many years when you skinned your knee and needed someone to hold your hand while your mom drowned the wound in hydrogen peroxide.

And no sooner than that moment opened up, it closed off again the moment his eyes wandered off of you and to the area behind you. His eyes glossed over and darkened once again, pushing your comforting big brother aside. "You asked me about Maisy? Well, there's a reason why he never let her post anything. Because she was nothing more than a hookup. A piece of ass that he could call when he was lonely and needed to get laid." His eyes wandered back down to your blanket and you pulled it tighter against you as he looked you back in the eye. "What makes you think that you're any different than her?"

He turned back towards the door, only for a moment before turning back and looking at you. "I'm down with you." His eyes looked over your shoulder. "Both of you."

He opened the door and walked out, slamming it hard behind him. "Jamie!" You cried out, staring at Tyler's front door, knowing that going after him was not an option. When you went to take a deep breath, sobs escaped from the back of your throat and your legs felt like buckling beneath your weight.

You turned around to see Tyler standing there and looking somber, dressed up in sweats and a t-shirt, which was a whole different outfit from when he answered the door. His eye was starting to swell and it only served as a reminder of everything that had just happened in minutes. He places your clothes in a neat pile and looked at you, taking in your tears. You walked towards him, wrapping your arms around him and feeling him return your embrace...only somehow, he felt distant.

You pulled out of his arms and sniffled, wiping your cheeks on to your arm as he pulled the blanket tight against you, again. "I think you should leave. I can go pack up your backpack and call you an uber."

It was as if he drove a stake through your chest with those two sentences. You nodded, only because if you were to speak, you'd let out more sobs you were holding. He handed you your clothes before disappearing up the stairs.

The moment he was out of view, you made your way to the downstairs bathroom and locked yourself inside of it, letting your sobs escape. You played the details in your mind: Jamie's face, the spite in his words. How distant and cold Tyler just seemed to you. Like he was brushing you off as just another random hook-up with his uber comment when normally you'd be staying the night or he offered to drive you back to campus.

As you got dressed and splashed water onto your face, you took in your reflection. You hadn't realized just how hard you had been crying until now. Your face was flushed and your eyes swollen and red. You splashed some more water onto your face before drying it off with a towel, leaning against the counter and letting your head drop.

Everything has changed.

❒❒❒❒

"Have a good night Ma'am and whatever it is that has you so upset...I'm sorry." Your uber driver, a friendly elder man said, giving you a soft smile and offering you a candy cane from his candy bowl.

You smiled, sniffling as you took one. "Thank you and I'm sorry for being such a mess."

"Oh don't apologize. I remember what it was like being your age. It's a difficult time, and I'm sorry if I'm just overstepping here...but young men at this age? Wouldn't be able to see the women of their dreams if she was standing right in front of his face. So don't let him get you down and you just go ahead and focus on school and being your best self? Okay?"

You nodded, closing the door and watching as he drove away. You adjusted your backpack on your shoulders and stuff the candy cane into your sweatshirt pocket, wiping your cheeks on your sleeves. You hadn't stopped crying the moment you got into your uber. Hell, it was a miracle you had managed to stop crying when Tyler came to get you from the bathroom.

He had knocked on the door, giving you only seconds to collect yourself and grab the blanket before opening the door to him saying: 'The uber is here'

And all you were able to say was 'Okay.'

The walk from the bathroom to his front door was awkward– you just followed behind him like a lost puppy, trading his blanket for your backpack. He had opened the front door and you walked outside, expecting him to follow after you– only when you turned around, he was rested in the doorway and nodding his head at the end of his driveway. You couldn't think of anything to say except for– "See you"

And all he did was nod and watch you walk down the driveway. When you got to your uber, you turned around to wave at him, only to have your heart sink into your stomach when you noticed that the door was closed. That's what started your endless tears in the uber. He didn't even bother to make sure that you were safe getting into the uber and didn't even bother to shoot you a text to ask you to text him when you got to your dorm.

Speaking of which, walking to your dorm right now at almost 2 A.M. felt like an extreme walk of shame, though since it was finals week...maybe you could pass it off as you coming back from a hardcore study session that just caused you to spiral into a mental breakdown. When you got to your room, you opened it and walked in to see Kennedy and Big Rig chilling on her bed, watching Netflix.

"Hey babe, how did studying go?" When she turned to look at you, she immediately took in your appearance, tossing off her blankets as you made your way to your bed.

You dropped your backpack onto the floor, keeping your face hidden from them and trying to best to keep your cool. But the moment Kennedy started to rub your back, your bottom lip started to quiver and you let out a sob. You heard Big Rig shift in Kennedy's bed as he paused their show and you kept your back to the both of them as you climbed up onto your bed.

"Am I kicking his ass?" Big Rig asked, causing you to let out another sob and you saw Kennedy wave him off as she rested her arms on your knees.

"What's wrong, Y/N?" She asked, tapping her finger against one of your knees and causing you to look at her.

You sniffled again and looked at both of them through teary eyes. "Jamie knows."

#tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin one shot #tyler seguin writing #nhl imagine #nhl one shot #nhl writing #hockey imagine #hockey one shot #hockey writing #ldyk fic #my writing

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

10 Times Arnav Singh Raizada Crossed The Line (Part 1)

Arnav Singh Raizada is our perfect, tortured Mills & Boons hero. Sometimes it’s unfortunate when recent shows have aped his behavior and not the layered characterization that he had. However, sometimes (according to my own opinion) I felt that his character might have crossed the line. 

It’s moments where no explanations justify his behavior. 

Please remember this is all my crazy opinion so feel free to add your own in notes! Oh and don’t worry, a similar list is coming for Khushi as well as they’re truly made for each other. After all, aren’t they our favorite ‘will-they-won’t-they’ idiots?

Tearing the dori.

Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize.

Blasting at Khushi for pranking, PRANKING him.

Telling Khushi her anklet, their almost kiss & she, does not matter.

Arnav Hypocrite Raizada - forcing an engaged Khushi to confess her feelings when he’s unable to do so.

Reminding Khushi of her broken engagement cause he can’t handle jealousy.

Manipulating & frightening Khushi with Akash & Payal’s divorce papers.

Telling Khushi he ‘faked’ his sickness to get rid of the ‘Swami’ tag.

Refusing to believe Khushi’s version of events.

Becoming Khushi’s landlord and blackmailing her (emotionally and financially) to get her to come back home.

Bonus

Telling Khushi that she does not have the brains, courage nor talent to face the real world.  

#1 “Badtameezi toh maine abhi shuru bhi nahi ki.” (S1, E2)

“I haven’t even started misbehaving.”

First Reaction: No Arnav bitwa, no. That dialogue never has and never will make sense.

What’s wrong with it: 

Almost everything. First of all when someone is in a position to abuse his/her/their position of power and authority, they don’t get to make rules on what counts as misbehavior. Secondly, just because one hasn’t sexually harassed a person does not mean one’s harassment hasn’t been “bad enough”. 

Arnav’s behavior crossed the line the minute you tell Khushi that she and her sister are the kind of women who can easily get another man - and none of us are kids here to know what the thinly veiled insult meant to Khushi & Payal’s character. 

What makes this entire situation problematic is that he accuses her with certainty based on assumptions and Khushi, really, has not warranted any sort of behavior from his end - she actually makes a compelling argument. This kind of a situation, unfortunately, keeps happening in the future where Arnav accuses her based on half truths/assumptions.

Of course there’s a part of me that always wonders what idiots as staff does Arnav have because they; (1) let a newbie go on the ramp (can’t imagine that happening at a Sabyasachi / Manish Malhotra fashion show), (2) are incompetent enough to not be able to procure and verify any information about Khushi.

Track Rewrite: 

First of all, this is perhaps the only terrible moment that I want to leave untouched. It’s perfect. It sounds ludicrous but this level of animosity was required to create a hatred the two had for each other until love and lust suddenly stormed into their thoughts. 

Khushi looks perfectly devastated and Arnav’s anger rises because his fashion show in Lucknow (out of all cities) has been ruined. The less can be said about recent shows where there’s very little logic to the hatred shared between characters.

It establishes that Arnav has been very aware, right from the start, how beautiful Khushi is. And not just the delicate beauty like Payal, but the beauty that can make one lose their path, their calm, their temper and tempt them out of their stupor. 

It’s this opinion that he forms about Khushi that he subconsciously carries for the longest time - (it’s what makes it easier for him to believe Shyam’s version of events because this assumption of a tempting, young, poor woman out to seduce the rich never really leaves his mind).

Head-canon: 

This was the only time Aman Mathur took a vacation. Poor Arnav, he really needed efficient staff. 

Public Service Announcement: 

Ladies and gentlemen, this does not mean that hate, pain and misbehavior is necessary for love to bloom. No, love does not have a template and this is a love story that happens despite the hate, not because of it. 

Also, just so you know that Khushi - or any person - is not responsible for the things that happen to them. If a person’s self respect, dignity or agency is threatened - you go ahead and bash the attacker and not blame the person! *phew*

#2 “Arnav Singh Raizada kabhi kisise maafi nahi maangta.” (S2, E19)

“Arnav Singh Raizada does not apologize to anyone.”

First Reaction: Screw you Raizada! How dare you? Buaji - throw your infamous damned belan over his head! Raizada, do you realise you’re saying this while standing on someone else’s property?

And…

Why do I find it hot that Khushi opens the door to an impatient Arnav who’s dressed as dark as the sky, his temper matching the thunder in the background while they lock eyes? *i need help* when I watched this show for the first time I totally expected another scene like this would occur where Arnav asks her back or confesses his love. Yeah I trusted him enough to make another mistake where Khushi’s left home and he needs to get her back.

What’s wrong with it: 

The things he said to her before he came to her house. The insults he levied on her are based on an accusation which is baseless. We get to know that until Akash’s public proposal to Payal that Arnav never bothered on learning the truth about what happened that night. 

Hence it reveals another trait that Arnav never double checks his assumption until he’s faced with a confronting reality. But, in the length of time he’s gotten to know Khushi until that point - the things he tells her is way out of line. 

And when he reaches her home, slapping that money on her table and insulting her in front of her family… yeah it’s difficult to watch that. Especially after all the Rabba Ve’s they’ve had and his difficulty & helplessness on learning that this same woman was going to leave for Lucknow forever.

Track Rewrite: 

Arnav’s anger is really a projection of his frustration on himself for hurting Anjali and a terrible act of him confirming to himself that money can get him everything - even his sister’s happiness, which he attributes to his ability to get Khushi back into the house using money because he only knows the language of money. 

So my problem isn’t much with him… it’s with Khushi’s inaction. This is one of my least favourite scenes in the show because once Khushi stops (mostly) retaliating to Arnav from this point - she never really retaliates ever again. It’s like they kill that intellectual and mature aspect of Khushi who really knew how to debate (ah, don’t I love the resignation scene and her moment with Lavanya, Sim & Pam in the office).

Of course, Arnav and Khushi argue bucket lots in the future but from this moment on they really amp up Khushi’s silent crying and reduce her logical arguments to her emotions. Hence, if there’s anything I would have changed then I would always give Khushi the final word - the logical final word because who doesn’t like a solid rebuttal.

Quick note; Arnav does amend from saying “women like you” to “people like you”. So there’s a shift from his belief of her being a gold digger (and hence, lack of character) to a middle class greedy person (like his uncle).

Head-canon: 

I believe she doesn’t give Arnav a chance to gloat that he got her back with his money. Hence, the following exchange takes place in my head…

--

Arnav: “Mujhe pata tha tum paise ke liye kuch bhi karogi.”

Khushi: “Hum aap se ek baat kahe? Aap ghalat hai.”

Arnav: “No, main tum jaiso ko achi tarah se jaanta hai.”

Khushi: “Haan, shayad aap hum jaiso ko jaante hai. Par humein nahi. Aur rahi baat humara yaha aake kaam karne ka, toh humein nahi lagta ki humein kisi ko bhi safai deni ki zaroorat hai. Khaas kar ki aapko.”

- -

Arnav: “I knew you’d do anything for money,”

Khushi: “You know what? You’re wrong.”

Arnav: “I’m not. I know people like you.”

Khushi: “You may know people like me, but not me. And as far as me choosing to work here, I don’t find it necessary to give anyone any explanation. Especially you.”

--

Public Service Announcement/Crazy thought: 

The old 500 rupee notes are banned post demonetization. So don’t use those notes.

Check out my crazy version of this episode. 

#3 “Di isse sorry bolne ki koi zaruri nahi hai. Yeh aapki naukar hai.” (S3, E1/E2)

“Di you don’t have to apologise to her. She’s your servant.”

First Reaction: Oh no you didn’t… you didn’t!

What’s wrong with it: 

I think it gets on my nerves how rude he is and that he constantly measures her to her financial and societal status. And all of this is because she pranked him. Like she literally put sugar crystals in his petrol tank, changed his phone ringtone to a silly item number and put juice in his shoes. And he responds to that with some pretty damaging words. He literally tells her that lying and cheating is in her blood. 

Yikes! Flashback time Arnav - when she just alluded how he would feel if his sister’s marriage broke he tore her strings, and he legit just insulted her parents. All because she played some childish pranks. 

I have to say Khushi does put up a good fight, for most of it, and I love Anjali trying her best to intervene but yes… the way Arnav just flares up here - he crosses quite a few lines (hence I am not at all sorry when Khushi flings the hot tea on him, sorry I’m a sadist). I think his continuous push to show his authority, superiority over her is not really healthy. 

And that last Rabba Ve (although the tune is beautiful) which is evoked by her tears, and previously evoked by the impressions of his fingers around her wrist, gives a very wrong message to the public.

Track Rewrite: 

I never, ever want to change their essential characteristic. I’m pretty satisfied when he’s literally burned after he’s burned her with his words. Karma always gets him...

But, I really wouldn’t mind a strong, confident, and angry “ENOUGH” from Khushi as well. Or even a quiet, deadly, whisper of an “enough” that would stop his nonsensical tirade. It’s important for him to know when he’s crossed the line, before Khushi starts crying.

Really, it wouldn’t hurt if he was taken aback by her burst of anger or the threat of anger instead of tears (remember the Guesthouse incident… he was turned on by her fury, and then he simmered down and felt guilty - that’s a good cycle to follow when there’s an argument. No, not always the turn on side but the ability to give both the parties anger).

Because of late there seems to be an obsession of male heroes getting the ability to insult their “soulmates” and then stopping because of her tears and then never following it up with an apology. There’s a lot of context in the case of Arnav and Khushi… but I always relish when he’s flabbergasted and silenced by her retaliated anger more than anything else (cue, the resignation scene again).

Head-canon:

Arnav: “Di you don’t have to apologise to her, she’s your servant-”

Khushi: “-enough.” / or / “ENOUGH!”

Arnav and Anjali stand, silenced by Khushi’s anger.

Khushi (to Arnav): “Do yourself and your status a favour. Don’t open your mouth. Especially in front of me. I may fall before your eyes, but you dig yourself a grave.”

Khushi walks away, leaving Arnav stunned.

---

Arnav: “Di isse sorry bolne ki koi zaruri nahi hai. Yeh aapki naukar hai-”

Khushi: “-bas.” / or / “BAS!”

Arnav and Anjali stand, silenced by Khushi’s anger.

Khushi (to Arnav): “Aap apne aap aur apne aukaad pe ek ehsaan kijiye. Apna muh mat kholiye. Khaas karke humare saamne. Shayad hum aapke nazro main gir jaate hai, par aap toh khai khodke apne aap ko giraate hai.”

Khushi walks away, leaving Arnav stunned.

--

Too harsh? Too unlike Khushi? Sorry, I’ve been watching that scene on repeat way too many times and I may have vented out a bit - it gets crazier when I list out Khushi’s antics!

Public Service Announcement: 

Don’t break laptops or play pranks on people who might explode on you. Also, don’t waste mango juice on pranks - it’s delicious consumed. Probably that’s why Arnav was angry - one, he cannot drink mango juice due to his diabetes, and two, she wasted it on shoes!

#4 “Mere liye uss baat ki, ya tumhari, koi ehmiyat nahi hai.” (S3, E40)

“For me, that [the almost kiss], or you, don’t mean a thing to me.”

First Reaction: YES THAT’S WHY YOU KEEP ON THINKING ABOUT IT! LIKE OF COURSE BABUA ALWAYS SAYS THE TRUTH AND SAYS THE THINGS HE MEANS. LIKE OF COURSE YOU DID NOT INITIATE THE KISS OR PRESERVE HER ANKLET IN THE KHUSHI SHRINE OF YOURS! What the fu-dge Babua, literally?

What’s wrong with it:

Actually nothing. I just want to mentally slap him, that’s it. This needs to happen. Because honestly at this point of their relationship if this hadn’t happened - if they had kissed, chosen to break up with their partners (more like Khushi absolutely refusing to get engaged and even end up giving an ultimatum to her family) - then they would technically end up together and the most unhealthy point of their relationship.

Arnav is not at all ready for marriage but he would say yes because it’s the only way Khushi would be with him? Khushi, although in love with Arnav, still really has no actual reach to his depth and emotions. 

And really all her fantasies of Arnav are really fantasies, she loves him for what he evokes in her more than what he truly is. He is unable to get her out of his system. It would be a bad place to begin a relationship.

So although nothing is wrong with this scene and it’s like a bitter pill that needs to be swallowed, I still want to say he crossed a line by reinstating that she means nothing to him even though he led her on the entire foreplay of a Diwali. And like… wow, he’s asking what he means to her after he just declared that he’s going to get engaged to his longtime girlfriend who is also now Khushi’s closest friend? Like why… why would Khushi tell you what you mean to her?

Track Rewrite: 

I would rewrite Buaji’s pressure on Khushi. It’s regressive, painful and terrible to watch. I know it’s necessary… and if not rewrite this scene then I would just add a scene in the future where Buaji truly apologises for ruining her dearest Sanka Devi’s life. She owed this at least and it would be nice to see elders recognize their own mistakes at times.

Head-canon: 

Lavanya is in a happy relationship with NK <3.

Public Service Announcement: 

If you have a difficulty in saying what you want to say, enroll in Jalebi Teaches Feelz Expression classes.

#5 “I hope tumhe koi farak nahi padta.” (S4, E8 - S4, E14)

“I hope it means nothing to you / I hope it doesn’t affect you / I hope it doesn’t make a difference to you.” It = me, Arnav, our relationship (or whatever it is).

First Reaction: wherefore art thou asking questions yond thee cannot answ'r?

What’s wrong with it: 

This is where Arnav’s moralities really turn grey. Over here any affection, concern or committment to Lavanya is literally forgotten. Almost possessed, Arnav has three goals; 

(1) Make Khushi admit what he himself cannot admit - that he, them, everything matters to her (2) Prove to Khushi she won’t find a better match than him, that he’s her equal and he’s the only one who can provide for her and give her everything she desires (3) Make her breakup with her undesirable and unworthy fiance (he hasn’t met him but he just knows that her fiance does not deserve Khushi and I have to agree with Arnav, he’s right) and probably end up getting engaged with him.

The epic part of the Raizada plan is - he doesn’t have an idea what would happen if Khushi actually gives a farak. It’s not that Arnav is right or justified, he just stands the way he has always been - in all his fifty thousands shades of grey (not I’m not a fan of that book, pleej no).

Track Rewrite: 

A bit more time for Arnav, Lavanya, his apology and their break up. I love it that he does it instantly, but I also wish he spent more time talking to Lavanya. Just some more Arnav/Lavanya scenes, we really never got to see more of their friendship and her understanding.  

As far as everything else, Khushi’s inner battles and silence is really amazing - it’s what gives her dignity and it’s her self preservation. Arnav is redeemed by the fact that he genuinely is Khushi’s soulmate and he can feel her distress and is the only one who accurately senses that Khushi might have been pressured to agree to this marriage. Who knows Khushi cannot live in a loveless marriage. It’s something he can now guarantee, after a whirlwind of denial.

Although his actions are dubious, he’s the only one who senses the lack of joy and passion. So, rather terribly, he tries to put it across that he can fulfill her needs.

This comes to a halt when Payal refuses Akash in the first proposal. It sheds light on his earlier mistake and he realises that he has been wrong about Khushi all along (so he does not bring up her financial/societal status in insults post the event because Khushi really did end up in fashion show by mistake and more than that - her sister’s marriage did break because of him - not until the hate marriage).

And he realises his error with Lavanya that brings him out of this “I need to possess Khushi” phase.  

So I liked that we saw the ugliest side of their love, the irrational jealousy and demand of possession. And I love that Khushi did not budge in, no matter how much it hurt.

Head-canon: 

Lavanya knew all about it. Hence, she never holds Khushi responsible and instead guides Arnav to making better decisions. 

Also, Khushi went through a similar, crazed phase. Except we never see it because Khushi grows increasingly quiet when her heart is suffering. She uses words to express and choses silence when she does not want to acknowledge.

Public Service Announcement: 

Remember, it’s a good thing that they show us the unhealthy and healthy phase of a relationship between two people who love each other. This phase was decidedly toxic between Arnav and Khushi - when love is jealous, causes pain, is insensitive, is madness - see the signs and don’t go in deep when it’s at this phase. Every love has its time to mature and grow. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Read Part 2

#ipkknd #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #Arnav Singh Raizada #Khushi kumari gupta #tv analysis #analysis #isspyaarkokyanaamdoon #i write too much #my opinion

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Thanks for the tag @ichiharakazu! ^^ Btw I love To Dazzling Darkness and Chizuru too! ^^

Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! Put your favourite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs.

side note: I am not 100% sure about the translations I looked online to find them, my Japanese are still elementary level. I saw people who previously played, added some lyrics they liked so I tried too.

1) Nakigahara - the Gazette “Namida (x3) doukokuno ame, Kyomuto mukiautabi afure, tsuzuru kotobaga nijimu Namida (x3) itsukawa kare, Seijakuni korosareru, kagefumino owarini chimayoi“ (Tears (x3) rain of lamentation Every time I'm facing nothingness they're flowing over, the spelled words are blurrying Tears (x3) Somewhen they'll dry, I will be killed by silence At the end of walking in shadows I'll lose my mind)

2) die after day - Marely *couldn’t find lyrics to that*

3) actor - New Sodmy “Nigete ikite mo nani mo kawaranai” (Even if you live by running away, nothing will change)

4) Kimi ga matteiru kara - Gackt “Sekaijuu no dare mo ga wakara nakute mo ii sa... Kimi ga matte iru nara Ima mo kawara nai kimi wo miteru Kono mama...” (Even if no one else in all the world understands, it's all right If you're still there waiting. Even now, i still see you, unchanging, Just like this...) 5) Ayakashi - Versailles “Majinai to kemono no koe ga Kousa suru arashi no gotoku Hikisaka reta ama no kizu ni Kazara reta tsuki” (A curse and a bestial voice Intersected, just like a storm The wound of the torn Heaven Is embellished with the Moon)

6) Don’t Hold Back - Hyde “I didn't mean to hurt you - that was my mistake I'm sorry that I realized it so damn late You don't have to understand my pain I left it in the past so that's ok I won't give up if you don't hold back on me”

7) 宵の影踏み - Morrigan *instrumental*

8) The Redemption - Diaura “mou sugu yo ga akeru kiri wa harete iku kioku ni sukuu zankoku wo keshisaru you ni mou sugu yo ga akeru boku ga kowarete iku subete (x3)... yakitsukusu taiyou” (The dawn is going to break The fog is going to be cleared As if I want to clear out the brutalness settled down in my memory The dawn is going to break I am going to be destroyed Everything (x3)...the scorching sun)

9) Shallow Sleep - Hyde “An artist without a brush, Can’t paint upon the canvas Without you here, There is no colour A colourless landscape”

10) Shinjuuka - Kiryu “sayonara o utaimashou itsu itsu made mo hanarenu you ni ai o musabori tsukushi joushi o sanbi sayonara o utaimashou itsu itsu no hi ka meguriau you ni ai o musabori tsukushi joushi o sanbi Aah Shinjuuka!” (Let’s sing our goodbye, in order to be together forever we’ll consume greedily our love and praise this double suicide. Let’s sing our goodbye, in order to meet by chance again one day we’ll consume greedily our grief and praise the poem of our feelings. Aah song of the double suicide) Phew, this took more time than I expected ^^> I tag @call-my-master , @fermagyar , @taiyonikorosareta , @deme-lu , @mochachocolatteyaya , @kittykatsandbox , @xanaxanaxanadu , @ladytakanorisuzuki , @riyusama , @hanak0toba , @theatrical-vox-novis and anyone else who wishes to do it, if you of course wish to do it.

#mdp

[captainthane]

The Fall And The Resurrection

Disclaimer: this is the direct sequel of the story “The Queen’S Secret”

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His mind was boiling up. He couldn’t think properly. He never faced such situation before. All he wanted was a simple life. The decision was his only. So many thoughts were going through his brain. His girlfriend stayed by him and held his hand in a such warm and kind way. 

- Let’s go for a walk to clear your mind, shall we? (Lilith)

Jeff nodded quietly and dressed himself up. He followed his beautiful lover. They first took the motorbike and they drove until they reached a nice forest. From there, they walked for several minutes. It was helping for Jeff. He was calming himself.

- Thank you, I needed it. (Jeff)

- No problem~ And do not be worried. I don’t expect you to give your answer today. You still have time to give me your choice. (Lilith)

Jeff smiled and held her hand while they kept walking. 

- Should I still call you Lily? Or Lilith now? (Jeff)

- It’s up to you~ Lily is a cute nickname~ Choose whatever makes you comfortable~ (Lilith)

They both giggled and stopped walking to look at the nature. It was peaceful. Suddenly, Jeff was being grabbed by the neck and was projected to some tree. The impact injured him and made him groan from it. Before she could react, Lilith was being tackled and pushed away from her lover. She regained her composure and freed herself from the tackle. Only to notice it was an angel that was attacking her. 

- What the?! Hey, how dare you attack me and my sweetheart?! (Lilith)

The angel laughed insanely and tried to attack her again. She easily blocked the attack and threw the angel in another direction. She flew towards Jeff and what I seemed to be a demon. However, the angel launched several lightning spears at her. She was forced to use a fire shield to block them. 

- Leonard would have been so disappointed to see you hanging out with an insect~ (Fallen Angel)

- What did you say?! (Lilith)

Meanwhile, the demon grabbed Jeff again by the neck and lifted him with no difficulty. He was laughing and decided to lick Jeff’s neck slowly with his bitter tongue. Jeff was scared and was freezing.

- I forgot how tasty you humans can taste~ I think I will just drink your blood~ (Fallen Demon)

Jeff swallowed but he decided to punch him in the face. That didn’t do anything and the demon smiled in a scary way.

- That’s cute~ You are not as defendless as I thought~ My other victims were not that brave~ Now, don’t move~ This is gonna hurt very bad~ (Fallen Demon)

In just a fraction of second, Lilith could see what would happen to Jeff. She raged and transformed into her demon form. She quickly caught the angel by the head and flew at full speed to also grab the demon by the head with the other hand. Jeff was free while Lilith flew right up in the sky with them.

- I AM GOING TO REMIND YOU TWO WHY I AM THE QUEEN OF THE DEMONS! (Lilith)

She was crushing their faces while flying higher in the sky.  The angel struck her with a lightning spear. It forced her to release them. However, before they could fight back, hundred of fireballs were surrounding them as she launched those towards them. Together, the demon and the angel created a giant fire and electric shield that could barely absorb the fireballs.  Using the smokescreen, the demon flied back in the direction of Jeff. Lilith followed him but the angel was attacking her again to distract her. When the demon arrived, Jeff tried to punch him several times. The demon just dodged them. 

- I will finish this quick~ This is a message from Ghemora~ (Fallen Demon)

He punched Jeff right through his chest. Jeff coughed lots of blood while more was on the demon’s arm. Lilith felt what happened from where she was. She screamed violently. Her body changed again. Her skin became darker and she was having a monstruous demon face. Lilith kicked the angel so hard that she was sent to space. But she wasn’t dead. Heavily injured but not dead. 

- Time for me to go~ (Fallen Demon)

He teleported himself next to the angel and grabbed her before disappearing from this realm. Lilith, in rage, flew directly to Jeff. She regained her human form and knelt next to her lover. 

- JEFF! PLEASE RESPOND! (Lilith)

He coughed more blood and he was barely breathing. His life was fading away quickly. 

- No...no no...don’t die! Not you! Not again! P-Please hold on! (Lilith)

She put her hands on his injured chest and used her powers. She was crying. She was taking away his choices. She was choosing for him. Soon, the hole disappeared and Jeff was feeling much better. He was panting but he knew he was safe. 

- I’m sorry...I’m so sorry...I....(Lilith)

With the strength he was getting back, he put his hand on her cheek and said softly.

- I already chose immortality. I’m glad you and me thought the same. (Jeff)

He giggled and caressed her cheek calmly. She kept having tears but she also smiled.

- You idiot. You are still able to joke in such situation. You are my lovely idiot. (Lilith)

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Welcome to the immortal world Jeff :DD you will know live forever :DD. Phew that was hard to write but I made it XD (using the dragon ball fighting soundtrack helps XD)

Lilith, Ghemora and Jeff belong to me

Okaria et feria belongs to me and @wildstarfan

#okaria et feria #the fall and the resurrection #lilith #jeff #ghemora #fallen angel #fallen demon #enjoy the story #^^ <3

[askcountryhumansusa]

So who’s in your general friend circle? (I can’t remember if I already sent this sorry if I did)

[Ame: I’m blessed to have a lot of amazing friends! I have way more friends than I do enemies, and even though we don’t always get along perfectly, I’d do anything for them! Here’s a few!]

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(description below // hella tags obv)

ASNJDNOFBDSKJM;KSAOMGITSFINALLYDONE!!!!!!! This took fucking forEVER to finish. 33 countries are in this picture, I believe, and I had to look up their personalities/history/cultures to design each one. I tried to go with a mixture of things I saw in other depictions of the country, what I knew about the country, and what stereotypes there were about them I could incorporate to show off their character (like Switzerland loving chocolate, Netherlands smoking weed, Ireland being drunk, etc). But I did it. I finally did it. 33 countries done. Phew!

Also fair warning there are gonna be a lot of tags since I’m tagging each country lol so forgive me for that. 🙏

#countryhumans #countryhumans america #countryhumans usa #ch america #ch usa #ch canada #ch uk #ch britain #ch scotland #ch wales #ch ireland #ch germany #ch france #ch spain #ch italy #ch philippines #ch japan #ch south korea #ch australia #ch new zealand #ch norway #ch belgium #ch czechia #ch czech republic #ch estonia #ch finland #ch denmark #ch netherlands #ch sweden #ch switzerland