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nikolai-alexi · 11 months

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Jegulus Mini Fic #4

WC: 5900 average read time 45 minutes

CW/Tags: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH, graphic descriptions of death, graphic descriptions of drowning, angst, all hurt kind of comfort?, HEA in death, minor descriptions/allusions of child abuse, period typical racism, barely proofread, yet again neither my goddamn HTML horizontal line or read more link formatting will not work so if anyone knows how to fix that please help I'm about to set this entire app on fire ngl, enjoy copious amounts of angst pals I made myself sad with this so you get to be sad too fuckers

Quote Credit: "The kindest people...so important in this world" - Bianca Sparacino "The Mind Journal" & "How is it so easy for you to be kind to people...because people have not been kind to me" - Rupi Kaur (quote is tweaked into multiple dialogues and extra detail)

They are perched together, not in the Astronomy Tower, but rather on top of it, the night Regulus asks James the question that tilts his entire world axis. They've not been together long, just a few blissful months filled to the brim with secret meetings above the roof of the Astronomy Tower and stolen kisses in broom cupboards and empty classrooms. They are still getting to know one another, really. Regulus knows James’ favourite colour is yellow and that he’s an absolute swot when it comes to Transfiguration, but struggles a lot with Potions. James knows that Regulus’ favourite colour is blue and that while Potions might be what he’s good at, he likes Charms more. Getting to know each other on a surface level like this has been fun, really; they laugh at each other for silly things, argue over what sweets are superior, share stories of things their friends have done, and they do so in the middle of heated snogging sessions and exploratory wanderings.

Tonight, however, the frigid November air between them is melancholy. There is a heavy silence and neither one of them seem to know how to break it. They aren’t touching, Regulus can barely stand their proximity as it is, his skin is crawling and his mind is racing, yet the thought of not being near James is much worse than the discomfort he’s currently facing. James’ eyes are dark and oh-so sad. Regulus sees all the emotions he desperately wants to let out reflected back to him in those warm, espresso-coloured eyes.

Walburga has informed him that he is to take the Mark this summer. He will be sacrificed to the Dark Lord and be a shackled slave for the rest of his life. He will be forced to torture and kill in the name of someone who he does not have the barest hint of respect for. He will be forced to kneel and simper before someone who he would otherwise look down upon and scoff. At barely sixteen years old, he will be forced to give himself over and enslave his magic. He cannot breathe right with this knowledge weighing down on his chest. He has no choice but to do as his Mother wishes; otherwise, she will hunt his brother down to the ends of the Earth and rip him away from the only home and real family he’s ever known. Regulus refuses to be so selfish. He will do anything to keep Sirius safe from her, even if it means condemning himself to die. Sirius saved him so much pain and suffering for the sixteen years he lived in that house; this is the least Regulus can do for him in return.

This whirlpool of thoughts circling ‘round and ‘round his head is what prompts the question to fall past his lips without his permission.

“How do you do it?” He asks, his voice is hoarse from all the crying he’s done today. He’s so drained that he doesn’t have it in him to be embarrassed about it.

James looks at him, a little startled from the sudden cease in their respective silences, but cocks his head curiously at him, “How do I do what, Reg?”

He fumbles for words for a moment, and he hates the inadequacy of the ones he chooses, but he doesn’t actually know how to ask this, “How are you so kind? How is it so easy for you to be so kind to people?”

James is quiet, but Regulus can tell he’s thinking, so naturally, he word vomits his nervousness at James' answer out, “It’s just— well, I don’t want to be bad, James. I don’t like being cold and cruel, but I don’t know how to be kind. I don’t know how to feel kindness or sincerity. I watch you with people you don’t even know and I wonder if there’s some fundamental part of me that’s missing or if they’ve just made me into a monster,”

James sighs heavily, and he looks up into the sky for a long time before he speaks. His lip trembles a little bit and it strikes Regulus as strange. James looks…scared? The words that tumble out of his mouth drip with milk and honey, the tone is quiet and sweet, gentle, in a way that James is so rarely allowed to be, but the words themselves are bitter, poisonous things. They cut Regulus to the core, despite them not being directed at him at all.

“It’s not easy at all,” James sighs. He’s terrified and ashamed of speaking those words aloud. A large part of him wants to lie and say he just is that kind, that his parents raised a good kid who does his best to care for others and be kind to everyone. But he refuses to lie to Regulus, “I’m kind to others because people haven’t been kind to me,”

There is a long silence, and Regulus feels like he’s trying to decipher a lost language. He understands the words James says, but he can’t grasp what he means with them.

“But, everyone loves you, James. I don’t understand?”

James chuckles a hollow laugh and turns his entire body towards Regulus. Regulus follows suit. James looks at him intently, “Look at me, Regulus,” and, oh, hearing his full name fall from James’ lips feels strange, James calls him all sorts of ridiculous pet names he pretends to hate, or Reg, or Reggie, he very rarely calls him Regulus, “Look at me and tell me the very first thing you see. Pretend you’ve never met me before. Like I’m someone you pass in the street. What do you see first and foremost?”

Regulus scrunches his nose. He feels as though this is a trick question. There are so many variables to what someone would notice about another person depending on the situation. How should he know what he would notice first about James if he’d passed him on the street? Probably that he was bloody fit, but that doesn’t seem like the answer James is looking for. If he passed James on the street, would James be wearing one of his worn, holey band tee shirts? Or his yellow trainers? Would he smile at Regulus as he walks by?

“Your glasses?” Regulus guesses, it seems like a fair assumption. But James just smiles a sad smile.

“Put your hand up,” he says softly, and Regulus does. James doesn’t touch him, but he raises his own hand to mirror Regulus’.

“What do you see, Regulus?”

Oh. He understands now.

Compared to Regulus’ pasty, pale complexion, James’ is almost startlingly dark against it. Where you can quite clearly see the blue of some of Regulus’ veins, the skin around his hands and wrists almost translucent-like, James' skin is full of warmth and colour. His face and arms still hold onto the remains of a deep tan from the summer hols. He knows James spent a lot of time gardening with his mum over the break, and the right side of his face is just slightly darker than the left. He has freckles that dot his face, neck, and hands that are barely visible from far away, but Regulus has played connect the dots with them all. He has scars that litter his body, leaving little silver streaks against his skin. James is beautiful. Everything about him is warm and full of life and colour and joy. Regulus cannot imagine that anyone could look at James and not fall in love with what they see.

“My entire life has been riddled with slurs and vitriol, love. When people pass me in the street, the first thing they see is the colour of my skin, and immediately I am less than human to them. The Wizarding World and the Muggle World are the same in that regard.”

“When I was seven, I met a boy in town at the park. We played together all day until his Dad came to pick him up. We’d agreed to meet again the next day to play. I went home and told my parents how excited I was, and all about the new friend I’d made. That next day, I went to the park to play with my new friend and he told me to go back to my own country and threw sand in my face,”

Regulus’ mouth dropped open, “Merlin,” he breathed. James cocked a sad smile.

“I have dual citizenship with Britain and India, but I was born here in the UK. But people see the colour of my skin, and nothing I do will ever change their perception of me. I will always be second because my skin is brown and theirs is white,”

James is quiet for a long moment, “There is a cruelty in me, Reg. One that festered with years of anger and bitterness because I hated being judged and scrutinised for every little thing. There are times I genuinely want to hurt people. There are times when I desperately want to turn that vitriol back at the people who yell it at me. There are times I want to just scream and let my magic last out and destroy everything around me,”

“Being kind doesn’t come easy to me, Reg. I have to consciously choose, each and every time, to do the right thing or be the bigger person. And I don’t always make that choice when I should, sometimes I let that cruel side of me out. In the moment, letting that viciousness out, letting the bitterness breathe, releasing everything that I’m constantly fighting against, it feels good. It makes me feel victorious and superior, like if I cut the people around me down until they’re small, it’ll make me feel bigger. In the moment, it’s a wonderful feeling, a dark one, but no less wonderful. In the end, though, I might hurt someone else and feel my own wounds close temporarily, I only end up bleeding more,” James falls quiet once more, tapping his fingers against his knees that he’s drawn into his chest.

Regulus knows exactly what James is talking about. He does exactly that to the people around him. Using words to gut another person, to inflict pain and anger and make them feel exactly how he always feels, is something of a talent of his. Or, it’s something of a Black Family talent, he supposes. For as good as Sirius is in comparison to the rest of them, he does the same thing. Andy, Bella, and Cissa are the same. They have never felt the hand of kindness; it’s like wielding a weapon they’ve never seen before. The Black children have only been taught how to slice, rip, and stab at others with fatal efficiency. He doubts they will ever truly understand how to caress, nurture, or love.

Regulus nearly misses James’ next words, lost in his own mind as he is, but thankfully he comes back to the present in time. James’ words are careful and gentle, but there is a brittle edge to his voice still.

“My mum says that the best things in life rarely come from easy choices. And I believe that, at least partly. Choosing to be kind or do the right thing isn’t easy, but lots of good things come from it. But hard choices aren’t the only things that bring good things. Sometimes, the easiest choice is the best thing that ever happens to you,”

Regulus cocks his head, curious. James sounds certain, like he’s thinking about something specific. He waits to see if James will elaborate, but when he doesn’t, Regulus glances over at him, “Like what?”

James smiles, it’s a sad thing; his eyes are misty with tears he won’t let fall, and Regulus feels like no wonders of the world will ever measure up to the beauty of James Potter and the endless, foreign feeling of security Regulus always feels when he looks into James’ eyes.

“Like loving you,” he says, as though it’s the most simple thing in the world for him to say.

Regulus feels as though he can’t breathe again, but oxygen feels irrelevant in the face of this revelation. His body, his brain, and his heart are screaming. He so desperately wants to love James. He so desperately wants to be loved by James. He wants, and wants, and wants. He's well aware that he's a selfish little creature, but here in this moment, all he can think about is how desperately he craves to understand what it is to be loved. What is it like to feel valued and cherished by another person? His namesake is at the very heart of the Leo constellation, but he cannot be satisfied by that any longer. The centre of a constellation lightyears away is no longer enough; he wants to be the centre of someone's entire universe. Will it feel like the silly muggle romance books he pretends he doesn't read describe? Does he know how to love in return? He doesn't know the answer to that, but he thinks he would work so very hard at trying to love James. He knows he shouldn't. He knows he should end this now and save them both the pain, but as he searches James' face and looks into those eyes, so full of warmth and life, he finds that he simply doesn't care what he should or shouldn't do. He peers into James' eyes, searching for any hint of deception, but all he finds is an endless feeling of foreign-feeling security and promise. And he knows then that he won't choose kindness as James does. He is an evil, selfish creature at his core, and he is not strong enough to pick the hard choice. He wants. He needs.

"You shouldn't," Regulus whispers, "love me. You shouldn't. You should run and save yourself from the Hell I'm going to put you through."

James says nothing. He watches Regulus, and he waits. Regulus runs his hands through his curls, musing them in a way he would never do in the company of anyone else. He knows he should make James leave, protect him somehow, but he doesn't.

"I don't even know what love is, James," His voice cracks, admitting that out loud, letting those words finally surface from the depths of his soul feels like it rips a hole in his heart, "I'm like a slow poison. I'll end up killing you in the end, you know that, don't you?"

James' lips quirk in a humourless grin. They will be on opposite sides of the War. Neither of them have a choice in that matter, and even if they did, Regulus doubts either of them would choose differently.

"I have a hard time believing that any poison could taste as sweet as you do," He says. The words are flirtatious, but they lack his customary playful smirk and spark. Regulus lets out a brittle laugh.

They are silent for long moments. The sounds of the Forest coming to life surround them. Regulus has half a mind to snatch James up and seek sanctuary in the Forest. Perhaps they can outrun the War together. They could disappear into the night's mist, and find a home within the woods and wilderness. Their biggest worry would be werewolves on the full moon, and in comparison to the Dark Lord, werewolves looked like overgrown puppies.

Regulus sighs; the cloud of air puffs in front of him, billowing like smoke in the empty space before him. He returns his gaze to James. They stare at each other, neither blinking, neither speaking, neither breathing.

"You understand what you're doing, right? You know how this will go?"

"Yeah, Regulus, I know,"

"What will we do when..." He can't push the rest of the words past his lips, already the thought of the inevitable threatens to drown him in the waves of his emotions. He may not need to worry about killing James after all. The weight and pain of this may kill him instead.

James says nothing for a long time, breaking their connection and gazing across the grounds. Regulus wants him to look back again, look, he wants to say, look at me, even if all you see is darkness, look at me because I cannot stand for you to look away and see someone better.

"We do what we can for as long as we can, and when we can't anymore, we try to handle the can't as best we can," James' voice is full of conviction and his eyes blaze with a kind of fire Regulus has never seen before. He's seen the fires of pain, of anger, and of sadistic glee, but he's never seen a fire in someone's eyes made of pure love. He finds himself wishing he could step into the dark orbs of James' eyes and let that fire consume him wholly and leave nothing of him behind.

Before he's able to respond, James speaks once more, "Who knows," he whispers, "Maybe we get lucky in this life and on the other side of the can't, there'll be a can,"

Regulus doesn't have the heart to tell James that he simply isn't a lucky person. Luck has abandoned him at every turn, and he's not deluded enough to hope it might change this time, so he just hums and drops his head against James' shoulder and lets his arm pull him into the warmth of his body, "Maybe," he whispers.

***

The kindest people are not born that way, Regulus thinks; they are made. They are the souls that have experienced so much at the hands of life. They are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, the ones who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The kindest people do not just exist — oh no, Regulus knows that the kindest people are the ones who choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them. They choose to believe in goodness because they have seen firsthand why compassion is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why tenderness is so important in this world.

Regulus now knows intimately what kind of strength it takes for someone to choose kindness over something like anger or fear. He is reminded of it as he watches James Potter dive to knock Evan Rosier out of the way of the bright green Killing Curse that Mad-Eye Moody sends his way, completely ignoring the yells from his comrades. Even as he stuns Evan and whips around to punch Barty in the face, knocking him out cold, Regulus is flooded with reminders of how strong James’ kindness is. He is floored by an emotion he can only describe as tenderness, maybe love? He doesn’t know, but when he meets James’ eyes across the battlefield, he sees that same feeling reflected back at him in those beautiful eyes and he thinks he finally understands what it feels like to love another person wholly and completely. The force and intensity of it threatens to bring him to his knees right there in the middle of the blood-soaked battlefield. He gets it now. He breathes in deeply. They are still locked onto each other’s gaze, spellfire is all around them and screams fill the air as people from both sides are hit with curses or watch their comrades take their last breaths. He breathes in the putrid smell of ash, flames, and blood that surrounds him. He squares his shoulders.

He knows what he must do now. This time, he will choose kindness.

James must see the resolve that comes over his face because suddenly he’s running towards him like a madman. Regulus smiles behind his mask, smiles the sweet, soft smile that makes his dimple appear. He smiles the smile that James adored several years ago when they sat up on the roof of the Astronomy Tower. He smiles the smile that only James has ever seen.

"I love you" he whispers, the words are thick and heavy against his tongue; he's not sure if he's ever said those words, "I want to be good this time. I want to choose kindness. Goodbye, Jamie, remember me, please,"

He twists to apparate away, but James is quick; his hand latches onto Regulus’ ankle with a vice grip, and he gets sucked into the apparition with him. They land on a sorry-looking beach in Devon, where a large cave sits at the end of the shore.

They bicker and squabble the entire time, just like they used to. It feels as though no time has passed since the last time they held each other. Everything with James feels so easy, so warm, so sweet. Like honey and hot chocolate and cardamom. He wants to breathe in James and let that comforting feeling envelop him for the rest of his life.

They enter the cave together and they obliterate the Horcrux beneath the basin. Regulus falls even more in love with the way James wields Dark magic that they both knew he shouldn't know. James rocks him through the delirium from the Dark Lord's potion, he stays aware of James' arms around him the whole time. The memories assault his consciousness, but he doesn't pay them real mind. All he can focus on, even with the scorching pain and spasms running through his body, is how much he missed the feeling of James' strong arms around him. Oh, how he missed the seeping warmth caressing his skin. How he missed the only feeling of safety he's ever known. When the potion has run its course, when the haze of pain leaves Regulus' eyes, they celebrate on that little island, tangled together; they still fit together perfectly. Like two pieces of a fucked up jigsaw puzzle, they are cut precisely to slot their edges together.

Regulus' ankle is grabbed for the second time this day, but this time it's by a hand that is completely devoid of warmth. It's a slimy, grey hand partially decayed. It yanks him towards the water and he tries to fight it off. But he is magically and mentally exhausted from the potion and destroying the Horcrux; his reactions are slow and his thoughts are muddled. James is fighting off several inferi, but he is slowing. He's just as exhausted as Regulus is. Fear claws at his chest, not for himself, no, he had known he would die here, and he's made his peace with that, but James cannot die here. He won't allow it. James is good and kind and brave. James cannot die in some cave in Devon where no one will ever find his body. He must live.

Before he is pulled into the murky water, Regulus pulls every scrap of magic he has left in his body and screams out a spell he's only used twice in his life.

"Fiendfyre!"

His flames form a magnificent stag and they cut through the inferi like they're nothing. He is still being dragged into the water and he feels more hands gripping and pulling his leg further into the dark depths below. James grabs onto his free hand and tries futility to pull him back to shore, but they both know it's no use.

"Go," Regulus whispers, "Leave me. Get out of here, my love,"

James smiles that crooked grin of his, adorable and charming even as the light in his eyes shines brightly with fear and tears.

"I told you once I would never let you feel alone again. I don't break my promises, Regulus Arcturus Black. I'm not about to start now."

Two men walked into that cave at the end of that pathetic-looking beach in Devon.

Neither of them walks out.

As the water fills his lungs and the lack of oxygen begins to make black spots speckle across his vision, Regulus stares into James' eyes. James stares back. With the last bit of air in his lungs he opens his mouth and says,

"Thank you for teaching me how to be kind. I love you, forever, James Potter,"

He has no way of knowing if James heard him or understands what he said, but as the water rushes into his lungs and he feels himself slip away, he can't help but feel happy that he isn't dying alone. He's always been a selfish little creature, hasn't he? He knows when James is leaving behind. He knows he should make him leave. But he won't. The frigid water should be chilling him to the bone, should be making his teeth chatter, should make him go numb, but holding James' hand as they're both being dragged under, all he feels is completely engulfed in that perfect, warm flame that he'd wanted to step into the first time he'd seen it. The last thing he registers feeling is the warmth and love coming from James' steel grip on his hand.

Maybe he's a little selfish for leaving the world without their human equivalent of the sun. He doesn't care. Despite the water's icy cold chill and the pressure in his lungs, he feels at peace.

He knows now what it means to love someone. He knows now what it means to choose kindness.

His eyes drift shut.

He is at peace.

***

The world moves on without them. The Dark Lord, unknowingly rendered mortal by Regulus and James, is killed in the least dramatic fashion. A misfired jelly-legs jinx wobbles him right in the way of a Killing Curse fired by none other than Bellatrix Lestrange.

Wizarding Britain starts to heal, slowly, but surely. The Ministry is rebuilt and legislation is passed in the hopes of preventing another Dark Lord. Funerals are held, eulogies are given, and mourning wear is worn by everyone.

Everyone except one.

Sirius becomes obsessed with finding his brother's and best friend's remains. He knows they're both dead. Going through their things has been a dreadful process. Finding out they had been dating for two years right under his nose was a nasty shock, but even he could see their adoration for each other plain as day in their letters, that each of them saved, and the few stolen pictures he found. It takes him several years to find Regulus' research on the Horcruxes. He finds the tattered remains of a diary, the gnarled remains of a ring, and a half-melted goblet that looks suspiciously like the one in the portrait of Helga Hufflepuff back at Hogwarts, stashed below the floorboards in Regulus’ room with countless scrolls and annotated pages of books torn out.

Regulus' research stops with a cave in Devon where he's located the next Horcrux, so Sirius grabs Remus and they apparate to a rather dismal beach with a cave at the end of the shore. Despite it being nearly seven years after Regulus and James apparated here, their magical signatures are still very evident. No wizard has been here since then.

A short walk and a smear of blood across a rock wall lead them to the cavern where a small island rests in the middle. Sirius and Remus ride the boat across the lake. They can feel there were once very heavy and dark wards laid across the basin, but they're no longer active. Remus siphons the grey potion out of the basin and Slytherin's locket appears in the bottom. It has a small magical signature, but nothing like the destroyed diary had. He opens it.

The note left addressed to Voldemort is signed by his brother, with his typical flare for dramatics. The real Horcrux is destroyed, probably discarded somewhere in the cave. He looks at Remus.

"The lake is full of inferi," Remus says, sniffing the air lightly and wrinkling his nose at the unpleasant smell.

Sirius grimaces. But he hasn't dedicated half a decade and change trying to find James and Regulus for nothing. This will be one of the hardest things he ever does, he knows, but it will destroy him if he doesn't find them and lay them both to rest.

"Whatcha say, then, Moons? Up for a bit of bar-be-que?"

Remus grins dangerously, amber eyes glinting golden. Always ready for a fight, that one, "You know it,"

Sirius can't help but grin in return. He slaps the water with his hand and jerks quickly away as inferi race to the surface. They work quickly together. Both powerful wizards and comfortable duelling with each other, they manage to cut through hundreds of inferi with little difficulty.

"Pads," Remus says quietly. Sirius knows that tone of voice. A trickle of fear runs down his spine. Remus couldn't be tiring, could he? They haven't been duelling for more than an hour, Sirius has barely broken a sweat.

"Yeah, Moony?"

"Trade spots with me. You need to see this,"

Oh.

He swallows against the rising lump in his throat. He has to do this. He can't back out now. He takes a gulp of unpleasant air, trying to prepare himself for what he's about to come face to face with.

"On my count, then, yeah?" Sirius asks, a little breathless. Remus just grunts in the affirmative as he blasts several inferi apart with a strong incendio.

"Right then," Sirius mumbles. He slices four inferi apart with quick whips of lacero that his mother would likely be proud of, Merlin only knew she'd used it on him and Regulus enough as children. Really, it only made sense that he would be a deft hand at it, "Ready...now!"

Remus and Sirius roll against each other's backs, balancing and propelling one another in the right direction. It's a practised move for them; they haven't used it since the War, but it's still smooth as ever. They have to work hard for a few minutes fighting back the inferi that closed in during the half-second it took them to change sides. So he doesn't see it at first.

Once he's gotten the charging undead pushed back to a manageable distance, he glances around. His knees nearly buckle when he sees it. Only instinctual self-preservation keeps him standing up, his body intrinsically knowing that if he crashed to the ground, he'd surely die.

"Fucking hell," he wheezes. His breath has been punched out of him. He's basically fighting blind because he can't tear his eyes away from it.

Standing away from the hoard of fighting water zombies, are two inferi with their hands and arms melded together. They're both partially decayed, but not as bad as one would expect for seven years underwater. They aren't attacking, or moving at all, just standing on the beach in the torn remains of a long black robe and one yellow trainer on the left foot, and one red trainer on the right. The James-inferi has its head cocked, almost curiously. Sirius wants to cry from how familiar that look is. Wants to laugh at James' mismatched trainers he completely forgot he'd worn the night he'd disappeared.

It doesn't take them much longer before he and Remus have destroyed the last of the inferi. They vanish the remains of the undead and turn their attention to the inferi still standing in the same place. Their hands and half their firearms are conjoined by mangled flesh; it's a gruesome image, certainly, but it's also romantic in a way. Even though they're both long gone, long dead, Sirius can't help but be grateful he gets to see tangible proof of their love for each other.

Sirius sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. He feels for Regulus' magical signature, trying to see if he can tell what he cast before they died. Luckily, he'd used a massive spell, and even seven years later, he can feel the ashen touch of Fiendfyre.

"Right then, lovebirds, you've been away from home long enough, don't you think? It's high time to rest now," Sirius says. He doesn't know why he's bothering to talk to inferi; they aren't sentient creatures, so it's rather pointless. But James and Regulus still look so human. It's hard to believe they aren't alive, even with the bits of flesh falling off their bones, and sagging with waterlogged skin. He wants to believe that he sees their shoulders drop in tandem, like relief, but he knows that's madness. It's still a nice thought, even if it hurts, to believe there's something of them left now; it makes it easier to do this. He knows without a doubt that neither James nor Regulus would want to be tied to the Earth like this after their deaths. He's happy to give them their freedom from this watery hellscape of a grave.

He readies himself. He summons every bit of bitter resentment and hatred he has in him and casts the spell. The inferi take a tandem step into the flames. He knows he's not imagining their relief when the James-inferi smiles and the Regulus-inferi turns its head to James, a look of peace across his features. The snarling canine flame consumes their water-logged bodies with a painful, echoing howl in seconds as if his very magic calls out for the two people he will never have again and leaves a small pile of ash behind it. Remus accio’s the pile and puts it gently into an urn they’d made.

"Okay," Sirius heaves a deep breath, trying to stave off his impending breakdown; there will be time for that later, "I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Remus asks, his voice is just as hoarse as Sirius' own. He's just as affected and emotional as Sirius is, but trying to keep it together. They'll fall to pieces together, but later, only after they've finished this.

"To lay them to rest. They've been cremated, obviously, but Reggie put in his will that he wants a tombstone and a gravesite, so I want to make sure he gets it. And I don't want to separate them,"

"Best get crackin' on, then, shall we?"

Their headstones are delivered a week later. The caskets remain empty besides a destroyed locket and melted goblet in one, and a shredded diary and a ring in the other. Sirius and Remus clutch necklaces with small, clear vials filled with ash as the gravedigger lowers the caskets gently into their graves and seals the dirt in with magic.

The headstones are two different marble types. One of them is white marble, and the other is black marble. The stone is cut to fit together like a puzzle piece, two completely different types of the same material. Just as James and Regulus were to each other.

The stone reads the run-of-the-mill things, their names, birthdays, best approximate death dates, etc. but across the top, carving through the puzzle pieces reads a quote that Sirius still hasn't been able to work out the meaning from Regulus' many notes and written ramblings. It's a profound thing, that's for sure, and Sirius is glad he stumbled upon it, because it simply felt right to go on their headstone. It reads:

True kindness is only found in the person who has experienced the horrors of life, has the capacity for cruelty, and yet often still chooses to be compassionate. Anyone can be violent, but very few are truly kind.

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snek-panini · 1 year

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Printing another book and I have never had a project fight me as hard as this one has today. There's been just one roadblock after another here. I'm putting it under a cut because it got long and I just want to rant, lol.

Yesterday, go to print. Printer runs out of ink about 1/3 of the way through the job. I don't have any at home and have to go buy it.

Today, get in small accident in parking lot after buying ink. Everyone's ok, the cars just have small cosmetic dents in them now.

Replace ink. Delete pages that have already been printed from the document so I don't get duplicates. Printer prints three more signatures. I find out later that some of the pages here are blurry.

Printer has a mysterious error. Pauses, restarts job from the beginning. Cancel print job. I never found the source of this error.

Discover blurry pages. Fight with HP app till it lets me realign the printer. Delete more text in the original document. Print the remaining signatures.

Try to format blurry pages for reprinting without reprinting entire book. Word's book fold has no option to do this.

Paste offending pages into their own document. Can now print only these pages but the page numbers are wrong. Cannot fix this with any of Word's page number functions, including screenshots of the correct numbers pasted into the document. Nothing works.

Reformat to PDF because it has a was to print only select pages.

PDF does not support custom paper sizes, which this book uses.

Delete PDF in fit of rage. Exit original document without saving so the text I removed earlier isn't lost. Quit for a while. Contemplate all life choices that have led to this place.

Come back later to try one last thing.

Wifi (it's a wireless printer) is not working on only my computer. Other devices have no issues. Restart required.

Massive computer update that takes 20-30 minutes.

Get back into document, delete more text and blank out earlier pages so even if it prints those before I can cancel them I won't waste much ink.

Delete wrong pages, leading to Word reformatting the signature page counts on its own, because it feels left out and wants to help.

Cancel job, add more blanks to the end so it can't do that again. Printer sucks in two pages instead of one, prints on them sandwiched together, so while it did technically print on both sides, it has also in reality printed on only one side.

Cancel job. Yell at sky. Open print tray and shuffle all the pages to make sure they are not stuck together.

Finally print the godforsaken pages.

I do not think I will touch this text block again for a couple of days. I usually don't have much waste paper on projects, but I have enough from this one to have made a whole other book from it. This is the most I have ever fought with any craft project, software, or printer. Including that time in college when my home printer just went on strike for three or four days when I had a paper due. This was worse.

#long post #bookbinding #snek makes books #or she tries anyway #the books are not cooperating today though

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twatkcox · 2 months

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[TWATKRant XX]

Don't get your hopes up. This is not about my plans for this year.

xxxxxxxxxx

It's been a couple of months since 2024 started, but I felt it'd be the same as the previous year. It's not surprising, considering that there's not a single change in my anxiety-riddled life. I just don't want another repeat of that cursed previous year.

It's bad enough that the pandemic completely ruined my life, and now I won't be able to experience the pre-pandemic life once again. Just because it's back to normal doesn't mean everything will change back to how it was before COVID-19.

Now what? This year seems promising enough, but I have to deal with my worsening anxiety, which has manifested since last year. These days, I find myself in numerous tough situations, mostly personal issues. I don't even know how to deal with my family anymore, and my desire to shift to atheism has become stronger since that unfortunate incident last year. I find it increasingly difficult to spend my weekends outdoors, no thanks to the pandemic. That makes me want to vent my anger to God for letting this unfortunate catastrophe happen, at a time when I'm about to spend the last years of my bittersweet life enjoying all the things I could.

And so, I'm about to list down some of the things that I want to happen for this year. I initially promised to be kinder to myself this 2024, but now I have the feeling that I cannot do it just yet since I still wasn't able to go out on most Saturdays, except during those mall-hopping trips. God intentionally made this happen so that I can express my extreme hatred towards him even more.

Now then, where do I start?

With all the terrible things that happened in the last few years, I'm slowly losing hope and I'm about to plan a sudden exit from this world. I'm trying to make the most of the remaining years of my life, yet something is preventing me from doing so. Why is that? I just wished that I could resume my weekend rituals, just like the pre-pandemic days. It is where I'm at my best.

My worsening anxiety is starting to impede my ability to think clearly. I ended up getting disoriented and depressed, and at times, contemplating my own demise. I really need to clear my mind of some negative thoughts, but that might depend on the situation. I hope I won't encounter any more upsetting moments in life.

I thought I might want a change in scenery. That's why I'm working to reclaim my weekends back so I can enjoy them once again. And not something like going out once a week, or something like that.

xxxxxxxxxx

Well, I thought I might want to ease up on my misotheist thoughts for now. These words are much stronger than you think.

Back in January, Instagram has been showing its defects, first by not being able to select photos from my external storage. And now what? Once I managed to upload some of the photos (by temporarily copying the ones I wanted to upload via internal memory), it no longer saves copies of the uploaded pics, even when the option to automatically save pics is turned on. What kind of bulls**t is this, Meta?

Previously, the saved copies of photos from my Instagram uploads, although viewable via my smartphone and Google Photos site, cannot be viewed on my PC via the Windows Photos app (it shows that the format is unsupported, or something like that). Unsurprisingly, it does not affect individually uploaded pics.

What is wrong with you?

xxxxxxxxxx

I was thinking of writing a post that deals primarily with aging and why I think negatively of it. I suppose I won't live long enough to experience that, but who knows?

I mean, what's good about aging anyway? It's basically just limiting your physical activities, acquiring health issues like high blood or diabetes, not being able to enjoy the things you used to do, and getting cranky towards the younger generation. Is that what it's supposed to be like?

If that's the way it is, then I'm aiming not to get past my 30s. After all, getting old sucks. Even at my current age, I'm starting to experience old-people symptoms, like arthritis or back pain. That's one way of suffering the worst of my greatest anxieties in life.

xxxxxxxxxx

I've been thinking about this for a very long time. You know, in case my old friends (from elementary) would ever think of reaching out to me once again, more than two decades after last seeing them. In fact, I just ran into one of them a few weeks ago, which is kind of a surprise.

Years ago, I managed to meet up with one of my so-called friends from elementary. In fact, he actually wanted to see me in person just for the sole purpose of a business talk. I was really disappointed thinking that this could be my opportunity to ask what happened after I left my former school, but all I got were vague answers. I even attempted to have a friendly chat, but it all ended up in such BS business talk. Since then, I become wary of unexpected chat messages from my old friends.

To think I no longer had any grudge against them after ostracizing me at such an unexpected time? They need to see how much I've changed since I left that boring, depressing private school. So, do you think there'll be a chance of us having a reunion? If you ask me, it'll be very unlikely. I mean, I've already moved on from that, and I don't want to go back. They're all strangers to me from that point on. There's no way I'll ever gonna put a closure to that miserable incident from way, way back.

xxxxxxxxxx

Why? I may have endured so much misery, yet I was never happy. Perhaps I was never destined to be happy at all. Maybe I'll end up taking some meds to ease up my anxiety and depression, even at the cost of a risky side effect. God really wanted me to live this kind of life so that I would suffer.

My pessimism may have taken over my life these past few years, but I know I still have that optimistic outlook. Just don't give me any reason to doubt myself, God, and/or the people around me.

#life crisis #rant #thoughts

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coursesoffline · 2 years

Text

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interbanana · 2 years

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How to download music to iphone

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vangsgaard94leblanc · 2 years

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Create Lovely Microsoft Word Borders With Plain Fonts And Horizontal Lines

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sampanfrown9 · 2 years

Text

How can we make it easier to get from one place to another with trucks and fishing boats?

Hi. Here's a short story about my life in America. At the age of 20 young, I came from Slovenia. I am now on the East coast, Mid West, West coast and West coast. I've been from and to every region of North America, including Canada and Alaska. I didn't stay long in any of them for more than a few months to a couple of years maybe the most in New York, but hey this is New York, you simply cannot pass it by so you should give it one or two years in your lifetime. If you give New York some time, I can almost guarantee that it will be one of the most memorable experiences in your life. It doesn't matter what you believe, this isn't an account of good places or bad places in the USA It's not about that, actually.. It's a simple story about how to get to one location from another. I am a bit concerned that I may have some type of attention deficit issue. I've never sought help from a physician to treat this. My mother has not checked me. I'm not sure if I believe it to be true. But I do observe that I drop items in the middle of shows due to them becoming boring. I quit watching certain shows after five seasons. Then, it stops being interesting. The entire collection is stored in my basement. Perhaps someone will one day find them and complete the entire project. But I cannot bear to touch them. But I am always looking for the next interesting item, the latest captivating idea app or Tik Tok contest. I have tried them all. When I was traveling on the trailer of a big vessel to Alaska I was searching for something to read, or to watch an old TV show that I transferred to Hulu to stream offline. It's difficult to discover something new when you are trapped on a boat. There is almost no activities. The science fiction podcasts are my absolute favorite thing. This series started with a couple of Netflix and Hulu shows. Then came How things are created, followed by a few documentary about nature. I came across these different video producers through Youtube. All of them know each other very well and have quoted their rivals, but they're not spreading rumors, or discrediting coworkers. If their research needs assistance, they frequently gather to discuss an episode. It's very enjoyable to watch. I've tried downloading videos from Youtube to my laptop but then I realized I was filling my laptop with dead weight of videos that I did not want, what I wanted was the audio that transform videos into short podcasts. This YouTube to mp3 converter was really helpful, I am able to enter my channel's name, any of the 4 channels and it brings up the videos that have been uploaded on the channel, sorted from top to bottom, which makes it very easy to find new videos, download them, or as I've been doing recently convert them to mp3 and save to my smartphone. Later, I connect my headphones and can listen to podcasts in the form of debunk videos. They usually inform me in the beginning if this episode will be audio or visual. This makes it much easier for my to decide which route to take, and to convert to mp3 audio or video. There's always plenty to anticipate between port and destination. Kevin Costner has a plan to share stories of the many locations you visit during your long journeys to various states. Although it will be an annual cost that you must pay fees. This won't be a good idea if you are in Illinois. But, it is still a good idea. I would listen to his information on the places I've been to. It could be able replace my downloads of lectures. Even though it's an expensive annual cost of $40, it is worthwhile if your travels are long. It's one of my favourite things - lazy ways to earn money, learn more money, and so on.

http://ytmp3.re Whatever KC's gentle voice is telling you about your surroundings, or you've downloaded some YouTube videos in mp3 format and downloaded them to your phone, it's still an excellent idea to entertain yourself on long and sedentary travels. You should not do this if you enjoy cycling or outdoor activities. You are still able to take pleasure on the back of a car or aboard boats. Keep in mind that you need to keep your eyes open for fun things and keep your ears entertained.

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soygarlic44 · 2 years

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How do you speed up your time when you travel in trucks or fishing boats from one place to another?

Salut! Here's my story. I am from Slovenia and moved to the United States at the age of 20. I am located in the East coast. Mid West and West coast. I have been across North America, visiting Canada and Alaska. Although I did not remain at each location for very long, it was a short duration. New York is the most exciting city. If you give New York some time, I'm pretty sure it will be one of the most memorable moments in your life. http://qdownloader.org/ Whatever you think it is not about America's worst and best. This is just a story about moving from one location to another. I believe I'm suffering from some kind of form of attention deficit issues... I haven't attempted to consult a doctor regarding it, and my mom has never had me tested. They are all in my basement. Perhaps one day, someone will find them and finish the entire project, but I just cannot bring myself to touch them. However, I am always searching for the next innovative item, the latest captivating idea, app or Tik Tok contest. I have tried them all. When I was traveling on the trailer of a big vessel to Alaska, I found myself seeking out something to read, or to watch an old television show that I transferred to Hulu to stream offline. It's difficult to discover something new when in a boat. There's almost nothing to do. Science fiction podcasts are my absolute favorite thing.

I began to watch these shows after watching the shows on Netflix and Hulu. Then came How things were made after which came a few documentary about nature. In the end, I've found numerous video makers on Youtube. Each of them knows each other very well and have quoted their competitors, but they're not spreading rumors or discrediting their coworkers. If their experiments need assistance, they usually gather to discuss episodes. I've been enjoying their shows for a long time. Although most episodes don't need to be watched, you are able to listen to them talk about the current events. They don't usually include experiments, and are all about nature, discussion, and reflection. My initial attempt to download videos from Youtube was unsuccessful. After some time I realized that my computer was overflowing with useless video. What I was really looking for was audio, so I decided to put an end to wasting my time. The YouTube to Mp3 online Converter was very helpful. It allows you to enter your channel's name, or any one of the 4 channels, and it will display the complete list of videos. You can download them, search for new uploads, or even convert the video to MP3 before saving to your phone. Then, I connect my headphones, and then I can listen as podcasts to discredit videos. I can usually tell the difference between a conversational or a visual one in the start. This makes it much easier to decide which way to take and then convert it to mp3 or other audio or video files. Time spent in between ports of departure and points of arrival is always filled with anticipation and anticipation of exciting new things to happen, anticipating to visit new places and have a lot of fun and learn about things actually real.. That's why I myself sometimes can't wait to get there and look up YouTube videos about the area. Kevin Costner plans to tell stories about the places you pass on long drives across other states and states. It will cost the cost of a monthly subscription and will only be available when you're physically elsewhere, it's not possible to hear about Texas even while located in Illinois However, it's nevertheless a good idea. I'd like to listen to the information he gives about the places I have been to. I may even be able to use it to replace my downloads of lectures. It will cost you $40 per year, but when there are a lot of destinations to explore, it will make it worth it. It's my favorite thing. No matter if KC's soft voice is talking to you about your surroundings or you've downloaded YouTube videos in mp3 format and downloaded them to your smartphone, it's a good idea to entertain yourself on long and sedentary travels. Don't ride bikes or venture out into the open if you don't like it. It could cause you to lose track of what's happening and cause you to feel uneasy. If you are in the backseat of a car , or in the boat's belly Keep it in your mind to look up fun stuff and keep you entertained.

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skiesofthesketchy · 4 years

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Unsend {1}

JJ Maybank x reader

Summary: You accidentally sent your nude to your friend lol.

AN: Hi! Ummm... I wrote this. Idk lemme know if you like it and if you’d like to read a part 2!! Me.. over here obsessed with JJ baby. Ok thanks for reading love you :)

Warnings: lots of swearing, somewhat explicit descriptions, a smidge of blackmail...

Word count: 2.9k

Part 2: Send It

***

It was one of those days where you weren’t feeling particularly great about yourself. Nothing specific was the cause of such feelings, but today you just felt... bleh.

Your rattiest pair of sweatpants adorned your legs and you wore an extra large shirt on top. Your hair was pulled into something that sort of resembled a bun, your face was covered in a mud mask, which looked and smelled gross, but the packaging said it would make your skin soft. You usually didn’t mind your appearance, especially when you’re just lounging around at home, but today you didn’t feel pretty.

Pretty is not the most important thing in the world. Still, it felt nice to feel pretty.

This led you to go through some of your old photos. It always made you happier to look back on some of the amazing memories you’d made. Scrolling through your camera roll on your phone, you found pictures from instances you had totally forgotten about. Your heart melted when you clicked on one of you and your friends.

It was the first day of summer, and your squad spent the entire day surfing before hanging out at the Chateau afterwards. John B. and JJ had grilled up some burgers while you helped Pope make a fire in the yard. Kiara had been the designated DJ of the night, which was her excuse for not helping with dinner. You all sat in camping chairs and hammocks as you ate and listened to music, talking and laughing about anything that came up.

It was a pure moment, and you smiled at the photo. You had insisted on taking a picture to commemorate the amazing day, the first day of a wild summer ahead of you. You had set your phone on the porch with a timer, and yelled at everyone to quickly pose. They were already standing in somewhat of a formation, and as you ran to them to get ready for the picture, JJ grabbed you by the waist and spun you around so that he was holding you with your back against his chest.

“Say pogues for life!” Kiara shouted, and you all huddled closer together in a group hug, JJ smooshing his cheek against yours with arms around your waist as you all screamed at the top of your lungs, “Pogues for life!”

You saved the photo to favorites, the sight of it making you feel better already. Before scrolling again, you zoomed in on your face, your cheek squished against JJ’s, and it made you blush. Any time he held you close, it made your skin heat up and your insides turn to mush.

Sighing, you kept scrolling, and were surprised to find a handful of scandalous pictures you had taken. You remember this day too, and you were feeling extra great about yourself then. So great that you had decided to snap a few nudes. You hadn’t sent them to anyone, but figured it was nice to have a few photos of you looking sexy. You blushed as you looked through these, wondering if you’d ever have the courage to actually send them to someone someday.

Your screen still displayed one of your nudes when you got a text from Kie. For some unknown reason, your phone spazzed out and the screen froze. “Come on,” you mumbled, pressing on the screen and the home button several times. You tapped repeatedly on the screen, annoyed that nothing was happening. Then it seemed to have started working again, because it lit up and you were suddenly watching your photo being sent to someone.

“Oh my fucking god.” Your eyes widened. “What the fuck did I just do!?”

Panic surged throughout your whole body. Your phone seemed to be working just fine now, but did you actually just send your nude to somebody?! You rushed to your messaging app, and the first name at the top of the screen was none other than JJ Maybank.

“No!” you yelled. You clicked on his name and sure enough, your naked body was in the chat, underneath it, the word, ‘Delivered.’

You threw your phone onto the bed. “This cannot be happening to me right now.” ‘Shit, shit, shit,’ was all that was running through your head on a loop as you tried to think of what to do.

‘Maybe he hasn’t seen it yet,’ you thought. You quickly picked up your phone again and called JJ, praying he would pick up. You needed to tell him NOT to open his messages. To delete the whole chat right now before he sees the picture.

He didn’t answer, and you huffed, dialing his number again. You had to get a hold of him. If there’s any chance he hasn’t seen it yet, you were going to make sure he never does. You don’t know how you’d live with the humiliation.

The call once again went to voicemail, and you were on your feet in seconds. You still had hope, thinking if he wasn’t answering your calls, he didn’t even have his phone on him, which means he couldn’t have seen the picture yet.

You slid on some shoes and grabbed your backpack, not even bothering to look in the mirror before running out of your house. You knew JJ would be at the Chateau, and it was only a fifteen minute walk from your house. You figured you could make it in five if you ran.

Then you were sprinting down the streets like a mad woman, your face still painted with the brown mud mask, which was starting to melt off as it mixed with your sweat. You didn’t even care. You just needed to get to JJ’s phone before he did.

“I’m gon’ take a shower,” John B. muttered to JJ. JJ didn’t respond as he grabbed a beer from the fridge. He found his phone resting on the couch as he sat down, taking a swig of Coors. He scrolled through the few notifications he had, the boy furrowing his brows when he saw two missed calls from you and a text.

He didn’t think anything of it when he clicked on your text message, but what he saw had him spitting out his beer all over his lap and the coffee table.

Your face wasn’t in the shot, but JJ knew it was you without a doubt. You were completely naked and laid across your bed. The frame showed from your collarbones down to your thighs, one of your legs propped up lazily, showing all of your most private parts.

JJ was stunned. He wasn’t thinking about why you had sent him this photo out of the blue. He was left ogling the picture in utter disbelief. Your tits were on full display, your nipples hardened into peaks, your skin looking flawless. JJ couldn’t help the grunt that escaped him when he zoomed in on your pussy. He had only dreamed of seeing you this way, but never in a million years thought that he actually would. Naughty thoughts started to swirl in his head when he heard the sound of rapid footsteps just outside.

It was you, panting wildly and your mind still racing. “JJ?” you yelled as you bounded up the porch steps. JJ quickly tucked his phone away on instinct, as if he already knew he shouldn’t have been looking at that photo.

You barged into the front door and stopped in your tracks when you found JJ standing in the living room. He chuckled as he looked you up and down. You were a complete mess, and it was plainly obvious that you had just been running for your life. “Y/N?” he asked.

“Where’s your phone?” You didn’t have time to explain, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to delete the photo without JJ knowing, and then you could forget this ever happened.

JJ decided to play dumb. He found the current state you were in more than amusing, and he thought about how his day has already gotten so much better. “Uh, I don’t know. Why?”

“Come on, J, where is it?”

“I said I don’t have it. What’s this about?” He had an idea of why you ran in demanding his phone, but he wanted to watch you squirm as you tried to explain it. He wasn’t going to let you know he had seen your nude just yet.

“Nothing, I just need it, okay?” You started frantically looking around, throwing pillows and blankets onto the floor. “Where is it?” you grumbled. You still looked like a crazy person, and JJ was enjoying the scene in front of him way too much.

“I’ll help you look if you tell me why you need it.” The man was smirking, which pissed you off but you were too busy panicking to care right now.

“I’ll just call it,” you said, before taking your phone out to call him. JJ took another swig of his beer as he watched you, totally unhinged. He knew he was about to be caught in his lie, but he was excited for it. This whole situation excited him.

His ringtone started blaring from his pocket and you looked at him in disbelief. “JJ, seriously? Gimme your damn phone.” You were now standing in front of him, still quivering with nerves but putting on an angry face for him.

“No,” he smiled, looking more like the devil than the JJ you know and love.

“I swear to god, JJ, I will murder you.” You reached for his pockets, but he had already slipped the phone out and held it above his head, out of your reach.

“Just tell me why you need it so badly!” He laughed as you jumped and yanked on his arm trying to get his phone. He easily kept it away from you, but you were putting in an admirable amount of effort.

“None of your business!” you yelled childishly, hitting him in the chest as you continued to reach for the phone.

“My phone, my business.” You shouted in anguish and jumped on him, making you both crash onto the couch with you practically laying on top of him. Being in this position with your friend would’ve made you embarrassed, but you had too much adrenaline pumping through your veins to care.

Your hands finally grabbed hold of the phone but he snatched it away from you and tucked it into the front of his pants. You looked at him again baffled. “Go on, take it,” he said. You wanted to slap the smirk right off his face.

“Don’t think I won't.”

“I hope you do, sweetheart.” His eyes burned into you in a challenging stare, his face only inches from yours. You knew he was just having the time of his life right now, teasing the shit out of you. You held his gaze, wishing you could burn a hole right through him.

“Fine. You win,” you sighed. It was a bluff. You weren’t going to actually stick your hand down his pants! You sat back in defeat, but that’s when you realized the position you were in. You were straddling JJ, your top half leaning over him and his stupid, cocky face right under you. Heat rose to your cheeks as you hurried to get off of him.

“Seriously JJ. I accidentally sent you something that you’re not supposed to see.” You decided to come clean, the embarrassment of the situation too much for you to handle any longer. You just needed to get this over with.

He sat up, deciding to come clean as well. “Oh, are you talking about the nudie?” he asked.

Your eyes widened until they were bulging out of your head. “You saw it?!” you screamed. This was your worst nightmare, accidentally sending a naked photo to someone. Of course it had to randomly be sent to JJ. You knew he would never let you live this down. You were right, this is utterly humiliating.

“Come on,” JJ laughed, still enjoying every second of this. “Don’t be embarrassed!”

“Of course I’m embarrassed, JJ!” you yelled at him. “You weren’t supposed to see that. It was an accident!”

“It’s nothing to get so worked up about. It’s a great picture, and I’ll cherish it forever.” The gleam in his eye had your stomach twisting in knots.

“Like hell you will. Fucking delete it.”

“You sent it to me. It’s mine now,” he smiled wickedly.

“JJ,” you warned, glaring at him. He didn’t take you seriously though, mud still on your face in patches.

“Y/N...” he teased.

The scolding approach wasn’t going to work, and you sighed. “Please JJ? Can’t you see how humiliating this is for me?”

“It shouldn't be. You’re hot as fuck and you should be flaunting it.” Your cheeks burned at his words and the butterflies you knew oh so well were set loose in your stomach. The butterflies that only seemed to appear when you’re with JJ.

“What? That-- that’s not the point,” you stuttered. “I don’t want a naked picture of me to be on your phone!”

“But I do,” he argued.

“JJ!” You didn’t let your mind drift to why he wanted the photo and only focused on getting the picture deleted. “You’re being a dick!”

“Fine, I’ll delete it,” he said after laughing at your pissed off expression, then standing up and retrieving the phone from his crotch. “On one condition.”

You hit him repeatedly in the chest, overrun by anger once again. “So you’re gonna blackmail me now? Are you fucking kidding me?”

He laughed, not affected at all by your assault. “I’m not above blackmail, sweetheart. Do you want to hear my condition or not?”

You crossed your arms over your chest with a huff. “Fine. What is it?”

He smirked, coming closer to you. As scary and seductive as he looked right now, you held your ground, eyes meeting his devilish stare.

“I’ll delete the pic if I get to see the real thing.”

“What?!” Your mind was spinning once again as heat rushed to your cheeks. “You-- You’re not serious!”

“Dead serious, Y/N.” He was shameless. Despite his attraction and feelings towards you, he knew you were off limits. No pogue on pogue macking was the rule. But today’s series of events had him thinking perhaps you weren’t as out of reach as he thought.

If you agreed to his condition, it would be the best day of his life. If not, he knew he’d have to deal with you hating him for a while until he finally made it up to you, but this was a risk he was willing to take.

You shook your head, turning away from him to hide your embarrassment. You didn’t understand why he would actually suggest such a thing. Was he really going to treat you like every other touron he picked up? Or did he like you? You couldn’t fathom the latter actually being true.

“That’ll never happen, JJ.”

He ignored the pain in his chest that was struck by your words. “Then I guess I’m the proud owner of one of your nudes,” he smiled.

“Come on, JJ. This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s funny.”

“Well it’s not!” You eyed the phone in his hands and decided to take a chance. You pushed the man as hard as you could and when he crashed to the couch, you lunged for it.

“Ha!” you yelled, grinning ear to ear with his phone in your hands.

“Hey, give that back!” JJ got up, but you bolted out of the house, JJ running after you.

As you tried not to stumble over your own feet, you unlocked his phone and clicked on your message. “You better not delete it!” he yelled after you, catching up fast. Despite how serious you thought this situation was, it really wasn’t too big of a deal. He was laughing as he chased you, and you cheered in triumph when you finally managed to delete the photo.

‘Crisis averted,’ you thought. Except now you had to deal with the knowledge that JJ actually saw a naked photo of you. You were still embarrassed, but at least now there’s no evidence of this ever actually happening.

“Aw, come on,” JJ chuckled as he finally caught up to you. “I didn’t even have a chance to jerk off to it yet.”

“JJ!” You hit him in the chest. You didn’t think you could take much more of his teasing. Not today.

“Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to get my hands on it again someday,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes and started stalking away, ready to just go home now. He only laughed as he watched you retreat.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned around to find him behind you, looking as handsome as ever. “What?”

“It was sexy,” he said bluntly, as if his words didn’t just light your insides on fire. “You’re sexy.” He winked at you, then casually sauntered off back to the house, leaving you in a confused daze.

“Fuck you!” you yelled after him before running off into the direction of your house. ‘At least that’s over with,’ you thought, but you knew JJ was only going to continue teasing and flirting with you now that he saw how riled up you had become. How you were going to handle that, you didn’t know, but for some crazy reason, you smiled at the thought.

---------------------------------------------------------------

part 2??

#jj maybank #outer banks #obx #rudy pankow #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic

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animemental · 3 years

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FMA Forever

Why Edward Elric changed my view on anime for mental health.

Also, please share this post if you or anyone else finds it interesting, informative, helpful in any way. I love to write and other than a few books I have going on through Wattpad and drafts, this is a good way for me to get out some thoughts and connect to others!

Anyways, onwards to the good stuff!

Photo from: Fullmetal Alchemist Fandom -Wiki

So, here we are, four or five posts deep into the crevices of my brain. I have a new idea for formatting these posts so bare with me. Please. It will be my interpretation of an anime with some actual facts thrown in; thoughts on the series as a whole; answering the question/statement from subtitle or previous pose.

Background of Anime:

Fullmetal Alchemist is a manga by Hiromu Arakawa, serialized in 2001-2010. It tells of two young brothers living in a steampunk world of alchemy in a fictional country called Amestris . They commit taboo, pay the ultimate price and set off to fix everything. Edward is the oldest and Alphonse is the younger brother. Their father is a lot to deal with and their mother is... well, I don’t want to spoil it for those who have not seen the series. Though trial and tribulation, these bros fight tooth and nail for what they believe in and meet fantastic characters along the way. Ultimate goal: Figure out how to reverse their punishment.

Series As I View It:

When it comes to overall mental health, I would say that FMA was not the most helpful in regulating emotional stability. This series had me up and down, riding a rollercoaster of emotions. I came to the FMA a bit later than others, getting the chance to binge the whole thing versus waiting each week for a snippet of the story. From the get go, I was horrified and downright pissed at fate. These boys are just trying to do the right thing out of desperation and life did them dirty. Thankfully, my life at the time was pretty calm, so I didn’t have to add anything into the mix other than watching a good plot and intriguing characters. The idea of alchemy is so wonderful; having the ability to change matter into other matter. In the Elrics case, their world took it a step further and includes automail; metal limbs. This made Edward and Al’s struggle even more sad. But then you get swept away by the detailed fight scenes and you are screaming for them to kick ass with those metal limbs. Overall, the series was equal parts entertaining and frustrating. You want the underdogs to win, but the author made sure that reality catches up to the viewer pretty quickly. They cannot win every fight, save everyone person in distress or always make it in time. Just watch episode 7: Night of the Chimera’s Cry and you will truly know pain and heart ache.

To Answer the Question:

Why did Edward change my view on mental health?

Guys and gals, this kid is thrown every shitty thing possible and still manages to live his life. The dude has trauma galore and his soul mission for many episodes is fueled with regret, anguish, guilt, self-blame. I thought he was going to break in episode 7. He did struggle with the idea of not saving everyone and the unfairness of life, but fate did not give him a moment to breath. Reminds of the the webtoon Random Chat. LET OUR BOY HAVE A MOMENT TO JUST CHILL AND GO ON A DATE WITH HA-MIN, PLEASE.

So, when I think mental health, I picture a functioning brain. It may have some troubles and need a moment to process life events, but overall is healthy and content. The person can cope with life stressors and feels okay with life majority of the time thanks to self-care, coping skills and other resources. Edward Elric was given the fewest resources but continued to push through to his ultimate goal. His problem-solving skills grow with each situation and he learns to depend on Alphonse as a brother and partner in fights more and more. He is creating his own coping skills and strategies to deal with immense stress. He doesn’t get the option of a therapist, a coping skills app, friends. He and his brother have to figure it out on their own 99% of the time and hope they live to the next day. It gives a lot of inspiration when you feel like nothing is going right and you will never feel better.

Having a mental health disorder/illness sucks. Plain and simple, none of them are fun to experience and no one wished to feel that way. However, I believe that everyone has some spark in them that can help change some of the maladaptive thoughts and behaviors. It may be buried way deep down, but it is there. Edward discovers his many episodes into the series.

In the next post, here are some questions to answer:

1. Is there any other instances or aspects of the anime that you want to point out?

2. What is the beef with episode 7?

3. Tell me more about how Ed discovers his inner spark.

Okay, folks! This concludes Part 1 of my FMA rant. I think this may be a three part series. I could go on and on about FMA but I do have A LOT of series to get through.

#anime #manga #anime / manga #anime icons #fullmetal alchemist #fma #mental heath awareness #mental health #positive mental attitude #animemental

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livefromphilly · 3 years

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Panasonic Lumix GX7 Thoughts After 10 Days

PROS:

It's a small and light system. While the body isn't that much smaller than other interchangeable lens cameras I've owned like the Sony A6500, the compact lenses make a huge difference. I can fit the body, two lenses that cover 24mm-300mm, a 50mm equivalent prime, and have room to spare in my smallest camera bag.

The autofocus seems reasonably quick and pretty ok at things that don't involve tracking.

It's very usable for not having a joystick. Although it's a 2013 camera it's touch screen interface is much better than my much newer A7III (to say nothing of the 2015 A7RII that didn't even have a touch screen). Aside from just being able to change the focus point with the touch screen you can also use it to navigate the menus (neither the Sony nor my Fuji can do that) as well as swipe through photos and pinch to zoom (my Fuji can also, my Sony cannot).

It also has built in wifi and a very usable camera app; another nice surprise for such an old body. Sending photos from the camera to my phone is a lot more reliable with Panasonic's app than Fuji's.

The flash sync speed is 1/320, which is the highest in any camera I've owned that didn't use a leaf shutter.

Focus peaking works really well on this. Maybe because of the smaller sensor and deeper depth of field, but it's nice to just see what's in focus quickly and know you got it without having to double check.

It was cheap! I was thinking about getting a zoom lens like the Sigma 100-400 or a compact zoom camera like a Sony RX100VII for a while now because I've been enjoying using my 24-105 but wanted a little more reach for some things. This camera with the 45-150 (90-300mm equivalent) solves that issue for less than half the price of any other option I considered.

It's stylish! While not quite up to the X100V, the two tone black and silver look is still dope on this body.

It has a tilting EVF. It's weird because it also has a tilt screen but I guess it could be useful in some scenarios I dunno.

CONS:

Small and old sensor means that high ISO performance is a bit on the rough side. It's somewhere between modern APS-C sensors and modern 1" sensors and it performs closer to the former than the later. That said, it's usable if you're careful with it and don't try to shoot it like it's a full frame camera.

The eye sensor can sometimes get tricked into turning the EVF on and the screen off when you're shooting waist-level. I like my more modern cameras that can tell when you have the tilt screen tilted. That said, there's a button right next to the EVF that switches it instantly when it does screw up and the EVF can't til up so it won't screw up.

It has a built in stabilization, but I don't think it's quite as good as my Sony's. An even more minor quibble: it lets you dial in focal lengths for adapted lenses or manual focus glass, but the one manual focus lens I got is 25mm and there's no setting for that (which is weird considering 25mm is a standard nifty fifty in this format). Something is better than nothing I guess.

No usb charging. That wasn't really a common thing in 2013, but it still kinda stinks.

Poor(ish) battery life. Thankfully the batteries are small and cheap enough that this isn't a huge deal.

Unless you're shooting in manual you don't get a proper preview of the exposure (ie it looks well lit even if you have exposure comp dialed in to the extremes). I've taken to just shooting in manual to avoid this issue. It’s a real head scratcher, tho.

Overall this camera is pleasantly surprising considering it’s age and price. I paid $270 for it with the kit lens but used body-only setups can be even cheaper. Of course if you’re in the market for one of these and you plan to use it as your only camera, the newer Panasonic GX85 has better autofocus and stabilization for only $600 with the 12-32 and 45-150. I saved about $260 getting a used older model with the same lenses but for some people buying new might be a better move.

The two Panasonic lenses seem decently sharp, but the size is the real draw for both. The 12-32 collapses in on itself to the height of maybe two Oreos so the footprint of the GX7 with that attached is absolutely tiny. The 45-150, while considerably larger, is still very small for what it is. The barrel extends as you zoom but even pushed out all the way it’s still smaller than a can of PBR. I also got the 7Artisans 25mm f/1.8 which is an absolutely fantastic lens for the $70 they cost new. While it’s not going to impress many people in terms of corner to corner sharpness, it’s sharp enough in the middle and focuses ridiculously close to your subjects. It’s also a fair small lens and sits in the middle of the other two in length and weight.

I guess the elephant in the room for people considering cameras like this is the state of micro four thirds as a system. Olympus recently sold their camera business to a company called JIP that isn’t known for doing big things with the brands they inherit (they turned Sony VAIO computers into a junk brand basically). Panasonic is the other big name in M43rds and it seems like their focus has been on their full frame cameras as of late since they’re more profitable in a declining market. While this isn’t great news for the long term if you’re picking it as your primary system, for people already invested in other systems that want something cheap and small with a nice selection of lenses, it can be really appealing.

My plan is to stick to buying several year old used stuff for any of my micro four thirds purchases, but I think I’m set for the time being with the three lenses I currently own.

SAMPLE PHOTOS:

7Artisans 25mm f/1.8 | 1/160 sec, ISO 1600

7Artisans 25mm f/1.8 | 1/125 sec, ISO 1600

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 45mm | 1/2000 sec, ISO 400, f/7.1

Panasonic 12-32mm ƒ/3.5-5.6 ASPH MEGA O.I.S. Lumix G Vario @ 15mm | 1/250 sec, ISO 400, f/3.7

Panasonic 12-32mm ƒ/3.5-5.6 ASPH MEGA O.I.S. Lumix G Vario @ 17mm | 1/160 sec, ISO 400, f/4.1

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 93mm | 1/2500 sec, ISO 200, f/5.4

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 45mm | 1/80 sec, ISO 200, f/5.6

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 53mm | 1/320 sec, ISO 200, f/5.6

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 80mm | 1/1250 sec, ISO 400, f/5.1

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 45mm | 1/500 sec, ISO 200, f/5.6

Panasonic LUMIX G VARIO 45-150mm f/4-f/5.6 @ 45mm | 1/125 sec, ISO 1250, f/5.6

#Cameras #Panasonic #Lumix #Lumix GX7 #Micro Four Thirds #Informal Reviews of Cameras

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outcfpages · 3 years

Text

Hi, sorry for disappearing again.

My mental health has affected my online life dramatically and has prevented me from actively responding to dash-posted threads.

Also, I am almost never on my laptop outside of school which means it's harder for me to reply to dash-posted threads as I cannot format them to save space.

It has been a hard back and forth, but until I am in a better headspace, I will only be replying to PM threads. Please do not message me that I haven't replied even though my rules say that you can.

I am in the process of setting up a Discord server for my RP as I always have access to the app. If you would like to be added to the server, please let me know.

I know that I just introduced Mar'i and want to make her active as soon as possible, but my health takes priority. The minute you guys see a starter for her that's when you'll know I'm back.

With Love,

Jewel

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studiylog · 4 years

Photo

my younger sister is a soon-to-be freshman and as a 2020 high school graduate I though it would be very big sister of me if I were to hand off some advice to the younger children such as herself.

Why do I need a planner?

life if going to start being VERY VERY hectic, especially if you do other activities besides school work. Even though we are currently in quarantine it is good to have some sort of organization of your life or else things will get mushy and time will pass by quickly. Just have one usable planner to get your academic year started. Write down assignments and other chores such as watering the plants even. It is better to practice getting organized the sooner the better. There are many different options for planners! here are some of the ways I have used before:

Bullet journaling:

I used to bullet journal during the school year back when we were all still in class. It was super helpful and helped me keep my mind on track. Bujo was my favorite to use during the school year because I would work on spreads during downtime. Here are some pictures of my spreads (they were never pretty hahah!) :

Pros:

customizable!! Make whatever spread you want!! Flowers and stickers or even just a good ole' to do list will work too! I used to have whole blank pages just for planning club events and choreography. I used to have a mood tracker too!

relatively cheap Any good notebook/journal will work! For my senior year I used my 1/4 full sketchbook for junior year as my bujo and it worked pretty well!

easy to navigate! Since you are the one who is creating the spreads, you are the one in charge. You like lots of trackers and drawings? Put it in! You only like monthly spreads? GO AHEAD!!

Cons:

Easy to get caught up with the "aesthetic" and not think your bujo is pretty enough...BUT WHO CARES!!! Its your planner!! It should be fluid and comfortable to use daily. You can have pretty spreads one week and then black bullets points of the next! As long as it is helping you get your shit done its good! I am an advocate for those super pretty bujos with calligraphy and kpop boys, but I know that I myself cannot get too complicated with bujos or else I get super caught up with making my spreads super pretty and I'll get too anxious to use it and then forget about it.

You actually have to do it yourself Its a blank journal, which means you have to draw out all the spreads yourself. oop.

Planners (the ones you buy!)

I've only truly used two store-bought planners in life. Moleskin and Passion planner!:

Moleskin

I used a moleskin for my sophomore year of high school because the super expensive moleskins finally went on sale so I copped one. It did its job, but there wasn't anything really special to it that blew me away. It was very dependable, like an earthbender.

Passion planner (passion planner spread)

This is another planner I bought on sale! I loved this one, it helped me organize my SUPER hectic junior year. I took on a load of 4 AP's, a sport, and two clubs to run! There were many options for organization and I really liked the different time slots. I would buy this again but I really like my current planning tools at the moment.

Pros:

Pre-made spreads Its much easier to concentrate and do work with a store bought planner because you wont have to take the extra time to draw out spreads and trackers! These were great during my hectic years where I didn't really want to use up 30 minutes to make an organized spread. Especially the Passion planner because it was organized as a timetable! I wrote the exact hours I would be available to do things, and scheduling was much easier. (Also the dates are already written down...saves lots of headache)

Cons:

$$$ A really nice planner with a bunch of different spreads can be quite pricey depending on where you are looking. You don't exactly need a fancy-shmancy planner, but most of the ones i've actually used on the daily ended up being more expensive ones :/ If you look out for sales though you might find a good deal! Knowing my cheap-ass I got both my Passion planner and Moleskin on sale :)

Online Planning

This is what I have been currently using under quarantine! I currently use the app notion for LITERALLY EVERYTHING. This thing literally sorts my life out. I started using notion due to Rowena Tsai's video and @noodledesks master post! This was a life saver now that everything is online. I can put teacher website links and online course schedules on both my computer and my phone! The only problem is that it is a somewhat complicated interface due to its customizability. Nonetheless, I think it a wonderful plat form.

Rowena Tsai’s video

@noodledesk ‘s Post

Pros:

Online platform If you are currently a student, most of you work will be online I assume, which means links, videos, PDF's, and other documents will be your coursework! Well where will you organize all those things? ONLINE duhhhh...

Customizable If you like how customizable a bujo is? You can do the same with Notion! I have tons of pages, databases, and task lists which organize my life. If you look into it more you will see that the app supports tons of different templates and have some pre-made ones too. I usually just take a premade template and customize it to fit my needs.

Can connect to other devices Notion also has an app! It can be found on both the apple store and google play store. This means even on the go you can make changes to your planner.

Cons:

Can be hard to navigate If you aren't very tech-friendly this might not be the one for you. When I first started using notion I just used the templates on their own, and I still was confused for how to use them because I am not very tech-friendly for my age (which is quite bad). But after a couple hours of re-organizing and watching youtube videos I got the hang of it. Now its super easy.

I’ll upload images of my planners in another post attached to this one because I don’t know how to format them nicely on this post lol!)

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anikkis-fantasirealities · 3 years

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“Finding the Captivating Dialogue for You”

④ How-to-do Feature ┊ ᴬˡˡ ᵒᶠ ᵃⁿ ᵃⁿᵉᶜᵈᵒᵗᵉ ˢᵒ ᵃʳᶦᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˡˡᵘʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵃᵗ ᵒⁿᶜᵉ··· ᶜᵃⁿ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᶦᶜ ᶜᵃᵖᵗᵘʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒʳᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒˡᵒʳᵉᵈ ᶜᵒʳⁿᵉᵃˢ·

꒰⁺˚₊·₍₍loading...₎₎ ✎...۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪ -ˏˋ 🃏 ˊˎ-

༘✶ ㊉㈦〘 ⅯⅯ 〙⋆｡˚𓆟 ༉ ║ Posted : ０６/１５/２１° ｡༄ ‧₊˚ ๑ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ •ଓ.° ｡❍ ㈩㊇

- - ——— ꒰ An article by Nicole “Nikki” Elaine S. Chua ꒱

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ࿐ྂ—͙❬₊° ᶦ ᵃᵐ ᵃ ᵇˡᵒᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃˡˡ·“= ‹⸙͎

Cure your boredom by finding something new! Enter the world of art and stories combined! Find the story to obsess over, only here on WEBTOON! Hold on, let me just shake out all the interpretative literary devices I had from my previous articles... There, much better! Welcome back to your favorite bunny—Nikki’s Tumblr blog! It feels a bit different here compared to when I am on Amino, to be honest. Yes, when I formally write without too many literary devices, my blogs smoothen like this, like it was polished with sandpaper or something. Anyway, I loosen up in order to display my love for something I’d like to offer to this world—one of those precious gems that have not been excavated in the realm of fandoms. Today, in this article, let’s enter the world of Webtoons and figure out 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙒𝙀𝘽𝙏𝙊𝙊𝙉 (𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙒𝙚𝙗𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙨) 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧!

Oh, hold on your horses! You’re asking what do I mean by Line Webtoons? My apologies for not explaining that before I bring you along this own carpet ride. To begin with this sudden class session, webtoons are webcomics that have a vertical reading format. In Korea, “manhwa” is often something you’d hear when the locals there refer to comics. These webtoons originated from South Korea, and now, they are rebranded by different companies with their hit titles. One of those brands is Naver Webtoon, and internationally, it is known as Line Webtoons. In 2019, it has now become WEBTOON, for short! Korean webtoons that are from Naver Webtoon have been officially translated into English, Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian, Thai, Spanish, French, and German languages in the present. At the same time, all these countries of the world wide web get to also be webtoon creators, too!

Comics are a mix of art and writing in multiple panels. Though unlike those readable from right to left, or the complete opposite of that, webtoons take advantage of vertical scrolling to reveal shocking key plot points and add more aesthetic in the blooming & stunning art they provide to the audience. They don’t upload once a month or year—in WEBTOON, there’s always something to read daily! Most WEBTOON series upload once a week, depending on its creator. As a reader, you’ll surely enjoy the vast options of webtoons to choose from reading at your own pace. There are many interesting genres, art styles, character designs, pairings, story lines, and themes to look forward to. The best part is, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚! There’s a perfect story to dwell into for all kinds of people, so if you’re curious in knowing how to begin reading, let’s go ahead and jump into the app!

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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓵: 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗮𝗽𝗽 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲.

The first step to get started with WEBTOON is approaching its services, first! You If you haven’t encountered WEBTOON yet, you could either take a little peak behind its digital pages online. I recommend downloading the app to enjoy the WEBTOON experience to the maximum level. If your first language is not English, perhaps a more comfortable version of the app made for your location fortunately exists! Search for WEBTOON on the playstore, and you will spot the application in a flash. It is only 21 MB or megabytes big, so it is not painful to the phone storage.

However, if you want to save space, you can always take the other route and access the WEBTOON site here. You can search for WEBTOON on your device’s browser, and the link you see immediately will lead you to the destination you desire to land onto. The site is mostly used by personal computer users and those who cannot download the app. It functions the same way as the app, but not all the features, events, and other cool activities can be done here. So, I still suggest to head over to your device’s playstore to get the application!

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓶: 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻-𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗮𝗽𝗽.

Any app would instruct the user to create an account to use its services. For WEBTOON though, this is very worth it, for it gives you a chance to use your account to comment on WEBTOON episodes you adore, or subscribe to the series you want to follow and support. You can create an account using your email address and the password to access it personally. Just the same as any other process in signing-up for an account, you will type your own username. You could also your very own Facebook, Twitter, Google, or LINE account to enter, and your name on the site you’ve chosen to log-on with will become your name on WEBTOON.

It is editable, so don’t worry if your username so happened to be humiliating, and you absolutely must change it! Though, if you don’t want to create an account just yet, users can view webtoons with a press of a finger without signing up for anything, if you’d press the return key on your phone or if you’re browsing on the site. Once you submit your approval that you’ve read and understood the Terms of Use & Privacy Policy of WEBTOON, you can finally set foot on the real fun of webtoons!

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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓷: 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀” 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲.

Okay, do not get confused! We’ll get to the rest of the areas of the app in a little bit! There’s a lot of things to do, now that we’ve finally arrived on WEBTOON platform itself. Though before being hyped at the things you are seeing right now, I’d like you to scroll down to the bottom of this “For You” section, and dig up the “Find your series” questionnaire to answer it. This is so that you can have an idea of what to expect here on WEBTOON, as well as what to read first. This is a questionnaire that will also introduce you to stories that you’d enjoy, without getting totally overwhelmed with content to stretch out into. No pressure in choosing, it will not affect how your account is set-up! Don’t worry about the results either. Answer as natural and honest as you can! This step is only applicable to those who are on the WEBTOON application. It is also optional to the reader, specifically if they are already used to reading webcomics and know what to expect.

Once you enter, it’d ask what are the genres you like. There is horror, comedy, thriller, fantasy, drama, romance, superhero, slice of life, action, and sci-fi. To clarify, slice of life does not literally mean a splitted life! It is a genre for stories that showcase the everyday life of a person, that are either relatable or engaging to read about. Choose as many genres as you want—it’s totally fine to check everything, or to choose one specific genre. Then, you can choose which art styles you prefer from the choices you see in front of your screen. Again, don’t worry about picking art styles—this is not a critical survey! Go ahead and pick many art styles you find pleasing to the eye. Then, you’ll get a list of webtoons recommended to you by the WEBTOON management! Easy, right?

You can take note of these titles given to you, or you can press on the webtoons you find interest in, and you will be taken to the webtoon’s contents in a jifty. That’s where you can read the description of the title’s plot, and you can instantly start reading if it strummed your heartstrings. You can continue discovering more stories to read from here, since the freedom is yours. Even so, there are still parts of the application to discuss that may give you an extra hand later on. Stick around this article for more of that, especially when you need an enthusiatic tour guide like me!

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓸: 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗢𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.

If you’re still following me, you may exit the questionnaire that you entered into a while ago. Now, if you scroll up, we’re back seeing graphics moving sideways at the front page. Oh, did you something catch your eye there? These graphics that WEBTOON fans usually call as “banners” (or, for me, personally—anyway,) are another way to gain interest in choosing stories to read. Long story short, when I became a WEBTOON reader, my all-time favorite webcomic from WEBTOON was first shown to me on a banner. (A very epic one, too!) Most of the webtoons shown here are in the “Originals” tab! From “For You,” press the Originals tab next. These are the tenths of webtoons that you can also read here on WEBTOON. The image is just one section of that. If you can observe, there are the seven days of the week stated at the top of these webtoons, under the word, “Daily.” You might be asking why is this section called, “Originals.” All these webtoons found under this tab are in partnership with the WEBTOON management, and these stories release new episodes weekly!

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That simply means that the creators of these webtoons are working together with WEBTOON to share their stories with us, and what’s the best thing? They get to tell their stories, while fulfilling their dream full-time job as a paid webcomic creator! Their work is now known as “WEBTOON ORIGINALs,” though before, they used to be “Featured Webtoons.” Everyday, various webtoons of different genres update with new parts to continue the story from where they left off previously, so there’s definitely something to look forward to from Mondays to Sundays. There are also more choices here than those in the questionnaire, so if you weren’t contented with what you got from answering questions, you can also come here to pick out stories. There are also webtoons under “Completed,” and we’ll get to those in a bit. If you’d ask me what I usually do on Originals, I read everything in general, so I never run out of things to read, but I’m more fond of fantasy genres. You can also choose webtoons from all days of the week, so you can keep reading something everyday before going to school or work, or perhaps, when you’re about to sleep.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓹: 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗖𝗮𝗻𝘃𝗮𝘀” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.

Now, there must be another question in your head. “How are these webcomic creators chosen to be featured, or have their work included under WEBTOON ORIGINALs?” There are a couple of ways, though, we’ll focus on this canvas of ideas for this article. Usually, creators are discovered on the fan submissions area of the application. Yes, you heard me right! If you are someone who loves drawing comics as well, then you can give this opportunity a shot and meet other aspiring creators here on “Canvas!” So, let’s move from the “Originals” tab and head straight into the “Canvas” section. The webtoons here are under the word, “Spotlight.” It’s simply because these webtoons are uploaded by other webcomic creators who are not affiliated by WEBTOON, yet. So, you could say that this is the wider scope of webtoons to look through. The best thing about “Canvas” which used to be “Discover,” is the fact that we can support these writers and/or artists by reading their stories.

WEBTOON is a platform perfect for people to test the waves of being a webcomic creator. At the same time, they are given the chance to gain a community of a readers that you could also be a part of! However, since these webtoons labeled as “CANVAS WEBTOONs,” are not fully paid by WEBTOON, there is no guarantee that they’ll upload episodes every week. They are free to upload on their own running schedule, but in return, they are also free to create any story they like, as long as it follows the WEBTOON guidelines. Just a brief heads-up, you must have a computer or laptop, in order to upload your own webcomic on WEBTOON. For us readers, it’s a big chance for us to find stories we’ll fall in love with—the one that will make us invested and devoted to how the story continues. If you give the CANVAS WEBTOON more support, who knows? You might be a part of their life accomplishment journey to doing what they love for a living. Very heartwarming, I see.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓺: 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.

We’ve already seen all the webtoons that the app has to offer to us. Despite that, there’s a chance that you still don’t know what stories pique the elements you like in a plot. Now that you know that there are more webtoons to search for on the WEBTOON app, you might need a guide or factor to know what’s the best story to try out. This is why the rankings and genre sections exist on the app! You can view the rankings of WEBTOON ORIGINALs and CANVAS WEBTOONs in their respective tabs. For ORIGINALs, you can click on the badge-like icon to the top right, while in CANVAS, you can see the rankings immediately. If you want to see the complete rankings list for CANVAS WEBTOONs, pressing the arrow at the right side of the rankings preview will do the trick! This step is for users who cannot decide based on what gem of a webtoon preview has caught their attention. If you'd like to find out what webtoons are popular overall, or in their corresponding genres, be sure to use this feature to weigh the odds. We are people who are influenced by whatever is loved by many, after all.

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If ten genres weren't enough choices during the questionnaire, well, thankfully there is more to play with! In the genre sections of both types of webtoons on WEBTOON, which you can see alongside the rankings, you can also view webtoons listed under the supernatural, mystery, sports, historical, heartwarming, and informative genres! So, in total, there are 16 genres to step into, and that's a plenty! In that said area, you can tell which genres have the best stories based on how many people read each webtoon. You can also sort these webtoons by interests, likes, or date. Just press the "Genres" button next to the "Daily" or "Spotlight" text on either tabs. The "sorting the webtoons by interests" option would depend on what your account has read, so far. These features are really handy to introduce to you new webtoons to take your eyes on or pay attention to.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓻: 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗠𝘆” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.

I suppose you've already chosen a webtoon to read, or maybe you're already into collecting webtoon titles to remember reading. Regardless, let's make things a little easier. You'd need your account, first! If you haven't created one yet, head to the log-in page and go back to Step No. 2. Catch up here when you're done, alright? If you’re already here, let me take you a stroll around this “My” tab. This section has list of features that are for the account’s convenience and personalization. It tells you what webtoons episodes have you recently read, downloaded, commented, and unlocked. It also states what webtoons have you subscribed to. Oh, yes, you can do all these things for your favorite stories on WEBTOON! To try that out, go to your chosen webtoon to read. As a reader, you are given the chance to rate the webtoon from 1 to 10—whether it is an ORIGINAL or CANVAS-type. That also makes heads turn away or stare closer at the stories, to see if they are worthy of their time.

Just like how subscriptions work on Youtube or any other platform, subscribing to a webtoon with your account means that you’ll get notifications whenever it uploads. It’s also easier to access subscribed webtoons through the “My” tab, instead of continously searching for your favorite stories all over the application or site as if you’re in a never-ending maze. You can track down the episodes you’ve downloaded for offline use as well, which comes in great situations where wifi is not available. Be aware that downloaded episodes will remain on your account for 30 days only, however. After 30 days, you may download the episodes again. Commenting on episodes can give you interaction with other readers’ ideas—those reactions, arguments, discussions, and, well! You could even talk about romantic pairing wars and all that’s fizzling in the premise of the story. With this section of the app, your account will be able to be fit and active, while it gives access to more parts of WEBTOON—including the possession of fast pass coins to unlock episodes for early reading! Wait a minute. Why must we, and how do we do that?

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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓼: 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁.

Fast pass on WEBTOON allows you to read episodes before they are publicly released. In other words, you can gain early access to your most awaited ORIGINAL WEBTOONs’ episodes, especially when they get on that gripping cliffhanger that makes you want to go crazy with what happens next! The question is, how can we use fast pass? We can do that with coins called, “fast pass coins.” This in-app currency will permit you to avail one fast pass episode every five coins. In order to get coins, however, there is real money transactions involved. Though, do not fret, because you do not need to spend a dime or a single peso over buying fast pass episodes! WEBTOON offers users to gain five or more fast pass coins through events in the app.

These vary from having to log-in in 7 days, or read similarly themed webtoons that are featured per event. It’s free to do, though, they do not come by all the time—events do not run forever, after all. So, take on the challenge when it arrives, and get yourself some fast pass episodes to enjoy! One benefit in taking part in fast pass coins events is reading new stories that you’ve never tried peaking into before, because who knows when will it become your top webtoon choice in the future? Take it for me—one webtoon became my favorite when the first fast pass coins event entitled, “Climb the Tower challenge,” occured. I participated and had climbed 100 episodes, and now here I am chilling with floors and betrayal!

If you haven’t asked, all fast pass coins given to each webtoon will have a part of its value given to the creators of the said stories. In other words, it’s like directly supporting the artists, writers, and creators of the stories you love! This step can only be done to ORIGINAL WEBTOONs. CANVAS WEBTOONs do not have fast pass, though its creators can provide Patreon accounts where fans can donate or give thanks for their eloquent and awesome stories to tell.

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓽: 𝗗𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲.

Remember when I mentioned “completed” webtoons prior to this step? It’s interesting that there also webtoons that have ended, so there is a section for WEBTOON ORIGINALs that have ended in the “Originals” tab. Here, you can still binge-read completed webtoons for as many times you want to, and you can also gain a collection of read finished webtoons on your proud wall. The satisfaction is there when you finish a story—but, wait a minute. We are familiar with fast pass, now, what’s up with this daily pass? For some completed webtoons, they are readable with the daily pass feature. This makes a webtoon’s episodes first episode public for reading, but the twist is, to read the next episodes, you must come back everyday to continue. Episodes in the middle until the end of the story are locked, and can only be carried on if you’ve lended a daily pass entry for it to be opened for a limited time. Then, you can access the next episodes in the following days. Tedious as it may be, you could also pay for fast pass coins to read these specific completed webtoons quicker.

However, if your route is free reading, it is also a fulfilling experience to follow a story as if it was still uploading everyday, instead of reading it in one sitting. This is the patience, yet satisfaction, that can be acquired from daily pass. That is also the goal of WEBTOON for implementing such a feature to their application. You don’t have to pay for anything if you don’t want to speed up your time in reading. This step is definitely for you, if you’re already reading ongoing webtoons, but want to find more stories in the completed section. Trust me, the stories we got here with the daily pass feature were real hits back in the day—somehow, the dust on their covers will be swept away when you touch it. It’s worth it, so why not give it a shot? I heard that one completed webtoon here was recently adaptated into an anime, another has been published physically, while the other was given a live-action K-drama on Netflix! Let’s see if you can figure out which stories these are!

𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓾: 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗻𝘀!

So, once you’ve found your beloved webtoons, fully invested into them with your account, made use of fast pass, and indulge into daily pass, the only thing left to do to begin on WEBTOON is to stick to it! Keep being a WEBTOON reader, and enjoy as many webtoons as you’d like. As you keep being on the application or site, you will encounter more features of WEBTOON, and maybe, as you stick around, more surprises & stories will be coming your way. There’s the fan translation area to explore, where you can translate the webtoons you’d love to support and be a contributor to its spread to other languages. There are thousands of CANVAS WEBTOONs being promoted in the front page for explorers to uncover reading. Spotlights at the bottom of the front page compile webtoons together, and you’d get to see more webtoons that may be under the spotlighted theme you adore!

You will be a part of this passionate WEBTOON community, and I’d like to thank you if you keep engaging into this craft as a reader. WEBTOON is a group of people who loves comics, and webcomics alike. It’s a place where creators and readers get to connect, at the same time, reach for their dreams. This is where their imaginations sprint wild—the happiness, sadness, anger, fear, worry, doubt, cheer, and excitement at every panel scrolling down your devices. You will be joining along with its growth, as well as all webcomic creators trying out on the platform, that WEBTOON sincerely cares for, wherever or whoever they are. You can witness how its stories will not only become panels and dialogue, but also animation, live-action, physical books, and other media types all around the world.

Do continue finding the captivating dialogue for you in WEBTOON, because for sure, it will become the message you will hold onto for life. Dramatic Nikki aside, thank you very much for reading this article! I had a blast—almost like I was going to be blasted on a rocket ship to Mars, while I was writing this feature. I hope my steps were able to help you get started on WEBTOON, and I’d like to bid you all the best on your personal voyage here. I believe each story of how we became attached to something is very significant, so take this moment to make it a memorable event in your life. Once more, thank you for reading! Come back again in another blog in the unknown future, where my fantasies become realities! A Nikki reminder: don’t just be ordinary when everyone is doing wrong—be unORDINARY, right & just, and continue to climb without holding back!

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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⋆ · * . · ㅤㅤ . · · .. . . · + .

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ. · + . *

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ * . * . .

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ . · ·

ㅤㅤ﹙dedication. ﹚ ୨˚୧ ˚ ༘♡.↳ ₊˚‧

This blog is dedicated to you who is like me, and him who is like her. Both webtoon characters that I salute the most—and that beautiful set of panels that has become my lifestory. May you be in work for ten years or five years, I will cherish you, with this shining sword—diamond, ADAMAS.

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 🗼 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ┊彡 Credits

➥ Cover Edit

➫ WEBTOON app

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ First Blog Dividers

➫ Soara Academy

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ

➥ The Rest of the Blog Dividers

➫ WEBTOON app

➥ Source of Information

➫ Webtoon Wikipedia page

➫ WEBTOON (Line Webtoon) Wikipedia page

➫ My own knowledge as a WEBTOON reader

ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 end. 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋

...Are you asking me if I wanted to be a WEBTOON ambassador...? Yes, but I have no social media influence. I'm just a small bunny in a burrow who loves talking and helping people get to know more about WEBTOON. Also, thank you for liking this, cheezbot. You're such a cute Tumblr bot, indeed.

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