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giannasturn · 2 days

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༊*·˚ the cut that always bleeds.. 🩸🩹 M.S

W A R N I N G S: angst, situationship, sex, alcohol, smoking, kinda toxic Matt?, fighting, swearing, no happy ending

S U M M A R Y: friends with benefits with Matt turns into the biggest heartbreak you’ve ever experienced when you catch feelings but he doesn’t.

THIS IS MY WORK, MY IDEA, NO STEALING !!

4 months ago..

“that was fucking amazing” Matt, your best friends brother says. “Yeah it was” you say.

It just kept happening, you would find yourself in his bed almost every night, and you would find yourselves hooking up at every party you showed up to together.

One night, after you guys had hooked up, he asked you if you wanted to be “friends with benefits” you agreed, with no strings attached and the cycle just kept repeating.

Now..

Matt cleans you up with the rag that was already laying on his floor from yesterday, “I think I’m gonna go” you say, as he stands up and throws the rag in the laundry.

“Why?” He asks. Deep down in your head you know why. You cannot lay on his chest while he plays with your hair again, you cannot go on another late drive to get food and have a deep talk together again, you just can’t.

Your heart falls in love with him a little more every time you spend time with him, “i just need to leave” you say.

“Well okay, bye y/n.” He says while kissing your cheek.

You let out a quick “bye” while tying on your shoes and heading out the door.

You get in your car and start heading towards your apartment which you shared with your best friend Ava.

Ava was the only one who knew about your feelings for Matt, and it was gonna stay that way. Right..?

🎶 I can’t be your lover on a leash, every other week when you please. 🎶

“I just can’t do it anymore Ava” you say while eating ice cream sitting on your shared couch. “I wanted nothing more but to just hold him and kiss him but I know if I would, it would just kill me even more.”

“You have to let him go” Ava says, “no no, I can get over these stupid feelings I know I can.” “I just can’t let him go” you say.

You feel a buzz in the pocket of your baggy sweatpants, you grab your phone to see it’s Matt.

“You have to ignore him girl” Ava says. “I know” you say.

No matter how much it pained you you know Ava is right. So you do just that, you ignore him.

Next thing you know you hear your phone start buzzing again, this time Matt is calling you.

You cant help yourself so you pick up.

“Hello?” Matt says with a confused tone in his voice

“Hey” you say.

“Why didn’t you answer my text?” Matt says, sounding almost concerned.

“I just didn’t, why do you care so much” I say.

I dont wanna be rude, but if I wasn’t then I know I would end up just acting like his little side hoe again, and I couldn’t keep doing that.

“Wow someone’s grouchy” he says.

“Matt what do you want, why did you call”

“Why are you getting so upset with me?” Matt says.

“Did I do something”

“Matt just leave me alone.” I say while hanging up.

- - -

🎶 cause you keep me on a rope, and tied a noose around my throat. 🎶

Fuck me. I think to myself, as I stand in this random persons house, at a party I was invited too last minute.

“Cmonnn, you gotta loosen up a bit” Madi says. I know she’s right, but all I wanna do is look for Matt and lay on his chest while his soft gentle fingers run through my hair.

“Maybe you could find someone else to hook up with even” Ava says. “Okay..fineee” I say.

While glancing around the room trying to find someone at least a little attractive, I see Matt with a random blonde tracing his tattoos and giving him “fuck me” eyes.

I move my eyes down a little bit and see his hand on her ass. Fuck, I think to myself.

As the tears start forming at my eyes, I feel my chest start to tighten.

I run through the crowd trying not to make it obvious that I’m upset, until I find a door and open it, only to find 2 random people fucking each other. “Sorry!” I say while storming out.

I find another door and open it, thank god nobody’s in this one. My back hits the door and I slide down it while heavy sobs escape my mouth.

I hear a knock at the door, “hey y/n you in there?” I hear from a familiar voice, Matt’s voice.

I try to stay silent but then once I feel the door push my back foward, I realize that I forgot to lock the door.

“What’s wrong, baby?” The words escape his mouth so easily, yet effect me so much.

“I’m fine, Matt really just leave me alone” I say.

“No, what is wrong? It’s obvious I did something.” He says.

I’m in love with you Matt. I wanna say, but of course, I don’t.

“Did you not fin- fuck y/n you didn’t finish did you.” He says.

“Oh my god Matt yes I fucking finished dumbass” I say.

“I think you just need to loosen up” he says, picking me off the ground gently

Before I know it, he turns me around an slams me against the door

He slowly lifts up my dress with his hands, and moves my underwear to the side.

Without a warning, he inserts 2 fingers into me. “Fuck matt” I say.

“Now.. you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He says.

“It’s nothing I’m just going through a tough time right now” I say, breathing heavily and trying not to moan.

- - -

🎶you know what your doing when your coming back, and I don’t wanna have another heart attack🎶

He puts my clothing back on, kissing all over my body. “So pretty” he says. “And your all mine” he says. Killing me

“fuck I love you” he says. Killing me.

I agree to go back to his house and hangout for a bit. I knew I shouldn’t, but at the end of the day he is also my best friend and I just missed it.

“you know, i enjoy fucking, but I also just enjoy your presence and hanging out with you.” He says while rubbing my thigh. Killing me.

“Yeah me too” I say. “Then why have you been so distant?” He says. I know I shouldn’t admit anything, but maybe he deserves to know something at least.

“Well when we were at the party earlier, and I saw your hand on that girls ass” “I kinda got upset and I-“ I say before he cuts me off

“Y/n, we never agreed to not seeing other people.” “We are just friends with benefits right?” He says.

“Right.” I say. Killing me

- - -

🎶 but even though your killing me, yeah 🎶

Everything he is doing is killing me. The kisses and praises he leaves all over my body after sex killed me.

Every time I seen him go on a date, or dancing with another girl at a party killed me.

But most importantly, every time he has to remind me that we are just friends kills me.

I know this is not good, I know leaving his house bawling my eyes out was not good for me.

Everyone tells me I need to tell him. My therapist, my friends, even his brothers, which now know about my feelings because I mean come on it’s pretty obvious.

It could be the fact that it’s midnight, or the fact that that I smoked 2 j’s, but i think its time to tell him.

I get into my car, put some music on and before I can think I start driving.

- - -

I arrive at his door, and immediately knock. Nick & Chris don’t stay up that late but Matt does so Matt answers the door.

“Hey y/n, you didn’t tell me you were coming”

“I know” I say. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah sure” he says. Opening the door wider for me to come in.

We arrive to his room, and the tension is high. He can tell something’s off, and my heart is pounding out of my chest.

“Y/n what the fuck is wrong?” “You ignore me, and then we have sex and you don’t let me even hold you!”

“I don’t fucking understand, you say your going through a tough time but you don’t tell me anything!” He says.

“Matt it’s cause I’m fucking in love with you.” I say.

…. The silence is a unbearable amount of loud and the air becomes even more tense if that’s possible

“Every time you kiss me it kills me because I know we won’t ever be able to do that without fucking.”

“Every time you hold me, it kills me because I know your just doing it because you just nearly took my ability to walk away.”

“Every time you call me yours it kills me because I know that I’m not, and I never will be”

“I thought maybe if I ignored you it would get better and these feelings would pass but the more I ignored you the more it hurt and I couldn’t take it anymore” I say.

“I can’t just fucking be your lover when you want me to be, and then see you eye fucking a ton of other girls at parties” I say

“You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve me. I caught feelings and this is all my fault.”

“But I also don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve to feel like I’m getting stabbed anytime I come near you.” I say while leaving his room and slamming the door on my way out.

My chest feels tighter then it ever has, but I also somehow feel relieved. I finally let it out, I don’t feel so locked up anymore.

I run out of the house ignoring all of the “y/n wait!” “Y/n comeback” s that come out of his mouth.

- - -

🎶 beat my heart to black and blue 🎶

When I arrive home, I walk in sobbing and Immediately drop to the floor.

“Oh my god y/n what happened” Ava says.

I am on the verge of passing out, everything around me is tuned out and my eyes are blurry, quite frankly I don’t know how I survived the drive home. I felt light headed and like I was about to puke.

“Y/n stay with me, everything’s going to be okay” Ava says.

- - -

Everything from that night is a blur. I know what happened and I know what I did, but all the details are erased from my brain.

My room reeks of alcohol, weed, and just disgustingness considering I haven’t cleaned my room, nor got out of my bed for 4 days.

I haven’t gotten any messages from Matt, he hasn’t came here, he’s just gone.

There’s been music blaring in my room for 3 hours straight, the songs going from sad, to chill, to hype music where I start convincing myself I’m over it until it turns back into sad music again.

“The cut that always bleeds” by Conan Grey turns on, and I immediately turn it all the way up.

This song can explain me and Matt’s relationship more then I can, and I can’t listen to it without bawling my eyes out.

“Oooh, oooh, but even though your killing me” I sing while my head lays back on my headboard

Tears start streaming down my face, Matt’s shirt I haven’t token off for 4 days getting soaked from my tears.

“I need you like the air I breath”

“I need, I need you more than me.”

No matter how much I don’t wanna admit it, I need Matt more then anything. I need his hands rubbing all over me, i need his lips against mine, I need our hands interlinked. I need him………

…. The end.

A/N, this is my 2nd fic ever, I think this fic is way better then my 1st one, but I still don’t know if I would consider it good, anywho I love the cut that always bleeds but I can’t listen to it without crying so I thought why not make a fic about it!! I love angst and couldn’t wait to write it so I did just that. Hope you enjoyed!! 😋😋

TAGLIST:

@bernardsbendystraws comment if u wanna be added !!

#Spotify #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fandom #fanfic #tumblr fyp #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #conan grey #sturniolo fanfic #giannasturn

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thediktatortot · 4 months

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Don't mind me, I'm just fucking depressed

#life feels meaningless again and i don't know how to make it go away #i have friends but i cant find the energy or the mental ability to be around them #i cant even get myself out of my house let alone see people #ive got no car again which means you habe 0 autonomy #the VA has zero empathy for anyone and im left stranded for help #ive got my parents winter depression to deal with on top of my own #I'm basically the primary bread winner in my house because of my disability being more than my dads SSI #everything is breaking and i have no money to replace it #my country hates me in multiple ways #my avenues of enjoyment are being priced out or gotten rid of #there's no third spaces #no places to hang out #my grocery bill is 2x the price now #my body hurts my brain hurts my heart hurts my teeth hurt everything fucking hurts #i cant even use Tumblr anymore because the account ive been using for the last few years wont get un shadowbanned #i dont even get the reprieve of dreams when i sleep

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dirt-str1der · 1 year

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Hate that im trying to write a story about haruka and i have to cut kiryu out of the story by making him too sick to participate in playtime and then i realise ive dug myself into a deep hole because i cant stop perving on harukas sexy sickly father

#Yakuza loveblog #it was literally fine when she was out of the house but when she gets back befause inevitably she has to tend to him #i picture kiryu in bed with a fever and i start to sweat myself #so im like okay maybe hes out of bed watching tv or something. then i picture him slumped on the couch because he fell asleep and i my #vision starts to blur at the edges. and even having him better is not okay because hed be so embarrassed and i get red in the face too #i cant figure out where to place him because every position hes in becomes irresistable and tantalising #majima walks in the house and sees kiryu collapsed on the floor (sorry i forgot to mention that this fic is about haruka and majima bonding #he stabs like two people in front of her of course she isnt even fazed btw shes seen kiryu do worse to innocent thugs and he took her home #because he didnt want her to be alone so hes here too) and he kicks him onto his back and squats over him and starts making fun of him for #letting himself be so vulnerable and helpless and haruka tells him STOP it!!! and he stops it

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timehascomeagain · 2 years

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Im sore and guilty and i want to be held until the feelings go away. <- 24/7 shouted chant in the back of my brain

#i feel so badd😭😭 i will always put myself ahead of what i owe other people but not in a good way in a deeply selfish unkind unpleasant #way. like girl no one cares u were overwhelmed with school and work get a fucking grip on yourself.#i dont know what it is i just find it all so difficult. i feel like ill always let people down by dropping out of touch so it's just better #not to try at all WHICH DOESNY EVEN MAKE SENSE..........#but i feel so bad bc my mum so #unded so put out when she asked why i hadnt been texting her while she was away #and i didnt even have an answer #and i feel this visceral tug of grief every time i think of my grandma as if shses not still alive and also waiting to hear from me. it all #feels so frahile and temporary and like theres so much riding on it all and im so stressed and it's not good. anne Carson did you ever figu #re out where to put it down etc #im just so freaked out. i have to write 3 essays tomorrow ajd clean the house and avoid getting into any shit with my family. it's all #painfully real now ngl #i feel so alone but i cant bring myself to nurture the connections ive got. especially family. and it sucks. i wish it didnt feel like it #is all on me to keep everything together.#like i guess it's just a matter of really really trying to balance everything bc at the end of the day id rather have a late essay than kno #w i put an essay before my family.#but it's all just sooooooooòooooooiioooooiioioioiouououiyoririioo #Omfg i realized today that the intro of free in the knowledge uses the same chord progression asthat 1 bit of sweet song thats like #And ahhhhh it seems that we keep falling apart but i hope i see the good in you come back again. which i think is neat.#also i think someone is using the blundering #the blender* and i am not impressed.#oh my god im just so tired i think getting a job might have been a mistake. i think surviving birth was a mistake actually🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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starrystormwritings · 9 months

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Approval

Master List <3 Request list <3 Marauders Master List

Regulus Black x Slytherin! Potter! Reader

A/n: This had no plot as I began writing it I had no idea what I was doing and just winged it. I'm desperately looking for requests because I have no ideas at the moment lol. Anyway this is my first time writing anything Harry Potter/ Marauders so if anything is ooc let me know and bare with me <3

Summery: You and Regulus have been keeping your relationship secret from fear of your brother and his friends approval.

Warnings: Swearing, judgment, a little ooc (James and Sirius come across kind of mean I cant lie), reader is James's sister but no mention of their parents or appearance so you can imagine being adopted.

Word Count: 2367

(NOT MY GIF)

"Hey guys!" I said with a smile, taking a seat next to my brother and his friends at the Gryffindor table for breakfast.

"Why were you talking to him?" James asked me with a frown, my brother has forever hated the Slytherin house and as much as I can't blame him when I see the way that some of them act I also feel as if I need to defend them, seeming as it is my house.

James was devastated when the sorting hat placed me in Slytherin.

He spent weeks arguing with Professor Mcgonigal about how it was wrong and how I needed a do over because there is no way his 'good hearted and kind little sister could be one of those snakes'

I'd be lying if I said it didn't sting a little, I fit in with the other Slytherins in my year and made friends easily. I stayed away from the ones who shared the likes and opinions of people like Snape because I couldn't bring myself to be friends with people with such hurtful and outdated views.

But a lot of the people I met were nice and friendly.

But James would refuse to ever see that.

"I was taking to him because he's my friend, and we were walking to breakfast together." I said with a roll of my eyes, leaning over to grab myself some food.

"You are not friends with that snake." James said with a look of disgust.

He went to continue his complaints but Sirius cut him off.

"Evan Rosier is one of my brothers friends. Stay away from him." He said with a frown glaring over at the Slytherin table over my shoulder.

"Well even though he is your brothers friend he's also mine. I know shocking crossover for you. He's a nice guy, we do potions study sessions together and he's helped me with charms. He's a nice enough guy." I shook my head at Sirius with a frown, fed up of having the same conversation again and again.

"He's a pure blood Y/n." James said with a frown.

"And so are we, and Sirius." I said with a chuckle, looking to Remus for help but he just looked straight back down at his book.

"Yeah but we're not like them. They're mean and well snakes." James said, trying to keep his voice down despite his growing annoyance.

"They're family's made them like that. Not everyone could get away like Sirius luckily did. Evans a nice enough guy, and if he wasn't you know I'd stop talking to him."

"Yeah but-" James started before I cut him off.

"Remus help me here please." I sighed looking over at Remus pleadingly as he gave me a 'keep me out of this' look.

"Guys leave her alone, she can be friends with who she wants to be." He offered me a small smile before looking back down at his book "Now leave me out of this I'm trying to study."

"Fine fine. Anyway do you guys want to head to the library to pull a prank, I was thinking we could hex the books to make them scream if you fold the paper. Will probably make some people jump out of their skin." James said with a laugh, elbowing Sirius to hype him up about this stupid idea.

"As stupid as that sounds I need to study and since all the books in the library will be screaming I think I'll go to my dorm, I'll see you guys later." I smiled at my friends, waving at them as I stood up.

They all said they're goodbyes in return as I walked out of the hall.

I could feel a familiar Slytherins eyes on me as I left, slowing my pace down in the corridor as I heard the same familiar footsteps approaching me.

"Guess who?" He said from behind me with a chuckle, covering my eyes with his hands.

"Judging from this very shaky blindfold I'm gonna guess Regulus." I said with a laugh, turning around to face the smiling boy.

His hair was still messy despite his obvious efforts to style it, he grinned at me with that stupid lopsided smile you wouldn't expect from him if you were anyone else passing him in the corridor. A stern unemotional expression usually painting his face if he was around anyone else.

My relationship with Regulus started a few months ago when he caught me on the verge of throwing a book at some seventh years who were laughing at me over something so stupid I can't even remember what it was anymore.

He'd told them to piss off and then sat next to me, we spoke for a bit and despite my efforts to brush him off due to Sirius's warnings I couldn't help but be encapsulated by him.

Next thing I knew we were having secret meetings in empty dorms and broom closets.

"How's my favourite girl?" He asked, planting a small kiss on my forehead.

I swatted him away, taking a step to the side. I began walking again, him following close behind.

"What're you doing, someone could've saw." I said with a roll of my eyes, looking for a quite corner or broom cupboard we could duck into to talk.

"Why do you care, we have every right to speak to each other." He said with a groan, he'd been fed up of the secrecy for a while.

He was a private person, and it wasn't like he was looking for a relationship with heavy PDA but the secrecy was beginning to bother Regulus. Just the other day the head of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team asked me on a date to Hogsmead and Regulus just stood there biting his tongue as this guy just continued to flirt out of the excuses I was giving him.

He just wants people to know we are in a relationship, or at least see us together so often they don't bother asking.

But I wouldn't even let him speak to me in public.

"No we don't. I just think spent breakfast getting lectured about walking with Evan. I still haven't lived down when James saw me laugh at a joke Barty made the other week, and that's because they're friends with you. It would cause a war if James and Sirius found out we were together." I frowned at him as we slipped into a quiet corner of the castle.

He stood as close to me as he could and I found myself looking around to check no one was looking.

He put his finger under my chin, tilting my head up to look at him, taking all my attention away from worrying and onto him.

"I know your worried but I couldn't care less. What're you so scared of? James is your brother he's not going to hate you." He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and behind my ear as he spoke, leaving his hand to linger on the side of my face.

"Sirius is your brother and he seems to hate you." He frowned at that, taking his hand away and stepping back.

I quickly realised what I said, reaching out for his hand and pulling him close to me again.

"I'm sorry, that was mean. I didn't mean that. I just mean me and James have always been so close and I don't want that to change. I love him so much and I love Sirius and Remus and Peter so much as well. I can't loose them over something like this. But I can't loose you either, so if keeping this a secret is the only way I can keep all of you that's what I want to do." I gave him a small smile, holding my breath as I waited for him to respond, hoping he'd just drop the whole conversation.

"Okay I understand. More dates in broom cupboards it is." His hand returned to my face and I giggled lightly.

I looked up at his face with a smile taking in everything about him as I did so.

He was just so perfect I couldn't understand how anybody could hate him.

He leant down to plant a soft kiss on my lips, leaving me breathless despite the chasteness of it.

I smiled at him completely entranced by how amazing he was.

"What the fuck."

Sirius voice made me jump, pulling me out of the daydream I was in as I moved away from Regulus, trying to come up with some sort of explanation.

"Sirius I can explain."

"Explain what? Explain how your kissing my brother? Explain how your betraying me, one of your closest friends? Sure Y/n I'd love a fucking explanation." He glared at me with a look I'd never really seen from him before.

Betrayal.

"I just,,, Sirius." I couldn't think of an excuse, I looked between the two brothers as I weighed my options. I didn't have many "Sirius I love him. Please just let me love him. Don't be angry or turn it into something, please don't bring James into this. Please." I looked at him with pleading eyes as I felt Regulus's hand touch my shoulder comfortingly.

"Take your fucking hand off her." Sirius said with a glare, causing Regulus to back away from me. "How could you do this to me, to James. He cares about you so much he's trying to protect you from people like him. But I guess we were wrong you really are just a snake."

His words stung as I just looked at him speechless.

"Don't speak to her like that, none of this is her fault. What happens between me and you is between me and you, not her." Regulus said, stepping up to his brother.

"You don't get to talk to me like that, your the one in the wrong here not me. That's the way it always is." Sirius said, glaring daggers at him before giving me another hurt look and turning to walk away.

"Your the one who left me! Not the other way around." Regulus said, voice cracking at the end of his sentence.

Sirius stopped for a second before continuing to storm off without turning back around.

~~~

The next morning I walked to breakfast with Barty and Evan on my one side and Regulus on my other, holding my hand with a small smile.

Despite the drama of yesterday and the sinking feeling I had all night the weight of the secret had been lifted off both of our chests and it was nice to be able to be together in public without worrying.

I glanced over at the Gryffindor table, hoping to take my usual seat.

I saw the eyes of mine and Regulus's brother staring at me with daggers. I went to take a step towards them, dropping Regulus's hand but Sirius took the book that Remus was reading and slammed it into the empty seat next to him. Earning an annoyed and disapproving look from Remus who then looked up at me with a supportive smile.

I offered him a small smile back before sighing at the other boy's behaviour.

Regulus noticed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, leading me over to the Slytherin table.

I focused my attention back on my friends as Barty continued telling some crude joke, trying to cheer me up a little.

~~~

"I'm sure they'll come around. He's your brother, he loves you." Regulus said whilst running a hand through my hair.

We were cuddling on the floor of a study room in the library, surrounded by books as we chatted and helped each other with potions homework.

"It's been three weeks and the only one of them that's spoken to me is Remus and that's only when we bump into each other. James is avoiding me like the plague, Sirius looks like he's about to kill me and Peters afraid to talk to me as if he'll get excommunicated as well if he does." I sighed, scribbling the notes I was writing out since I'd gotten distracted and lost what I was trying to write.

"They're just adjusting, this is new information they just need time." He kissed my forehead before leaning down to kiss my lips properly, causing me to smile again.

A cough from the door broke us apart.

"Am I intruding?" He asked, leaning against the door frame with a frown.

"James! Hi, your speaking to me?" I said with a small smile, getting out of Regulus's hug and onto my feet, walking over to him.

Regulus looked back down at his book, pretending to study and not listen to the conversation.

"I figured we should talk, I think this is the longest we've ever been apart. I just wanted to clear the air I guess." He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you too."

"I'm still beyond angry at you though, how could you date someone like him and not tell me." He said with a sigh, pinching his nose.

"Someone like him? I'm so fed up of you speaking about my friends and boyfriend like they're these evil people before you've even met them! He's a loving, caring, sweet boy who I love and who loves me. He just happens to come from a shitty family with shitty ideals. The exact same one your best friend comes from may I add. I'm sorry I kept this a secret from you, I was scared of what your reaction would be and obviously I had a right to be. But I will not apologise for being with him and loving him because I have every right to. I want nothing more than for us to be close again and to hang out like we were but if you can't deal with this then I'm sorry but I'm not going to break up with him over it, so it's you that's going to loose me." I watched his face, searching for some reaction but there wasn't one.

The room went silent for a second as James just stood there staring at me.

"Alright." He said, standing up straight and clearing his throat.

"Alright?"

"Alright. Your important to me, I can learn to get over it. No matter how gross it makes me feel."

I chuckled lightly and hugged him, feeling like a weight had been taken off my shoulders knowing we weren't fighting anymore.

"Are you going to introduce me to lover boy then?" He asked with a strained laugh.

He was trying his best.

#marauders #marauders x reader #harry potter #regulus black #regulus black x reader #x reader #fanfiction #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders era

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pondering-gales-left-orb · 17 days

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i will not accept shane spouse room slander anymore im sick of it

I'm so mad at everyone who is mad at Shane's spouse room and i cant keep silent about it anymore

let me start by saying yes Shane was my first ever spouse in SDV and no i was not thinking i could fix him i was just impressed by his progress and self improvement so i had my character marry him

then i went online to see what are people saying about him and i was SHOCKED everyone was so mean to him and were absolutely wronggggggggggg about him

this man does improve himself he absolutely is better after marriage and everyone that's mischaracterizing that because of his spouse room is a coward sorry i don't make the rules

facts: Shane goes to therapy and starts getting his alcoholism under control by eliminating the source of his pain which is wasting his life away at joja and doing something he loves which is raise blue chickens THAT HE MADE MIGHT I ADD HE INVENTED A NEW BREED OF CHICKENS BTW. that last point alone pisses me of so hard because people so often over look it! he is just as smart as Maru just as creative as Eliot and just as ambitious as Sam, let me repeat myself HE INVENTED A NEW BREED OF CHICKEN WHILE HE WAS DEPRESSED AND SUFFERING OF ALCOHOLISM.... recognize his brilliance please

so that means people saying he falls back into his old habits because he has a six pack in his room is wrong, imo he stops being an alcoholic and goes back to having drinking be a hobby he does while gaming or hanging out with friends at the bar THAT'S THE POINT UR SUPPOSED TO GET FROM HIS HEART EVENTS

yes his room has mud tracks but consider this this man's WHOLE JOB is to RAISE CHICKENS IN A COOP !!!!! chickens who again he literally invented their breed who track mud shit and drop feed on the floor of the coop he is in all day!!! OF FUCKING COURSE HES GONNA HAVE MUD ON HIS SHOES!!

he works all day for his blue chickens and then just wants to come in and relax playing a video game and drinking a beer if he was a horrible dirty alcoholic like people claim he is he would track mud ALL OVER THE HOUSE AND DIRTY UP ALL THE HOUSE but no its just his tiny hobby room

you as a farmer also work all day on chores and after you are done you also just wanna do something fun to relax and guess what YOU HAVE THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERY ROOM IN THE HOUSE TO MAKE INTO YOUR HOBBY ROOM some of you fill the house with kegs because you are making it your thing hell one of my farmers who was a witch had an entire room that's just crystals potions and a fucking cauldron , in my Shane save i had a room LINED with fish tanks that was my farmers Hobby, do you think Shane gets mad that i had 4 to 6 fish tanks running all day with puffer fishes and some legendary fishes stinking up the house?? NO because he gets his hobby room and the farmer gets their hobby room everyone keeps to their space period.

i think everyone needs to understand that having a messy hobby room is not a bad thing and that Shane and the other spouses have a right to their own room to look however they want and it doesn't have to match the house

everyone also needs to look at Shane in a better light please I'm begging you to let characters have small flaws and not be squeaky clean perfect

Shane sought help he is helping himself and trying to be better but that doesn't mean he doesn't get to indulge in some guilty pleasures he is human and is aloud to be one even while still in recovery! the difference now is that he HAS CONTROL OVER ALCOHOL AND GAMING CONSUMPTION AND IS NOT SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL LIKE BEFORE he has job he loves a family he takes care of and he makes sure he doesn't dirty up his entire house but gives himself a break in his ONE room and doesn't stop himself form having fun doing the things he enjoys without over indulging or falling into bad habits.

Edit: i know in the end the drinks are non alcoholic as confirmed by him and i mentioned beer and drinks cause i know there is non alcoholic Versions of them som.. but as i said im adressing the MISSCHARACTERIZATION of shane by the shane haters who didn't go through his heart events hence me saying "you are supposed to learn all this from his heart events" cause they dont go through them :D

Anyway,

in conclusion SHANE IS GOOD SPOUSE, a good man and an inventor in his own right. yall just need to be gentle to him in your judgment cause man is he trying his earnest and that needs to be recognized. i mean look at him look at this healthy man <3

#stardew valley #stardew valley 1.6 #SDV #SDV shane #stardew shane #shane stardew valley #leah stardew valley #haley stardew valley #Sam stardew valley #Sebastian stardew valley #Elliot stardew valley #Maru stardew valley #emily stardew valley #abigail stardew valley

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everlastlady · 6 months

Note

Hi there!! thank you so much for letting me do a trade matchup with you! it means a lot to me ^_^ and since you said that I can request another matchup for Alastor I’ll do it here right now! zacznijmy od tego (:

Fandom: I’d like a romantic matchup for Hazbin Hotel please (part 2 with Alastor since you almost chose him LOL)

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Eden too! I’m Transgender (FTM), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/iraqi/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, when I'm bored or feeling trapped, I become anxious, scattered, and impatient. I may make impulsive decisions or take needless unnecessary risks, I tend to enjoy strategizing, problem-solving, and brainstorming new ways to complete everyday tasks, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

Love Languages & Dates: I have all the love languages I'm serious lmaoo, for dates it would be like going to a movie theater and then afterwards we can go get dinner, or personal for me I would like to go to an arcade and the shop for a little and whatever my partner wants really lolz xP

things I love about myself: when someone is going through anything or needs help with anything they will call me before anyone else, i have an ugly laugh so guaranteed if i laugh someone else will as well, how much i love animals if i see a stray around my house i will adopt it immediately, if i see a stranger crying in public my eyes will not leave them alone until i get the courage to walk up to them and ask whats wrong, i am very confrontational i will always stand up for whats right no matter how scary the situation may be, how greedy i am for money but when i love someone i will spend the world on them, how excited i get for little things like when someone buys me redbull, monster, cherry pepsi or chocolate pretzels/strawberries my day cant be ruined, how in touch i am with being grateful if someone helps me in anyway or does something in general to benefit me i will never forget it, dont take people for granted, ive been told anytime someone hangs out with me that being with me feels safe and peaceful, I pay attention to the little things, how even though i dont care about plushies i have been given some and i make sure to kiss them all goodnight in case they are actually real and see what happens, if i know someone is having a hard mental health day i will clean for them/ get them icecream and be patient till they are ready to talk about it, without fail a quiet person will always be loud with me, i am the type of person who just wants people i love to be happy even if its not with me, i will always choose them i dont say i love you until i mean it i will celebrate the people i love, i am very observant if i see that someone wants something i will get it for them no matter what, i will make it my mission to compliment a stranger that looks like they are having a hard time so their day is a little better, how i say i hate kids but i will protect them with my life and im so gentle with them, I am not ashamed of what i love like anime for example even though when I was teased for it when I was little i never once hid that i loved it, even if i dont like a song that someone shows me i will be hyper while listening to it so they dont feel small and embarrassed around me, how soft i become when someone holds my hand, even though hugging makes me uncomfortable i will push past that boundary and hug someone with all my heart if they needed it, i love how hardworking i am, whether its how much i love actually working or just getting out of bed knowing how hard my mind is fighting i love how i have gotten up everyday for the past 12 years despite how challenging it is to, i am an emotional person but i will always cry for a sad scene in a movie, if i love you, you'll be seen.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid/regular producer, i rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO, BABYMETAL, YOASOBI & Ado too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), writing, learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals/music CDs and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it.

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, V系, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, hotels, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(scp 3008, get a snack at 3am, flicker), otome games and more!

these are some of my top kins!!: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), nanami kento (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

misc: I live in a mixed language house hold where I speak mostly polish and Arabic, and some Korean and Japanese, it world be nice if the person who I get can react to that lol, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), clumsy; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of “blow this popsicle stand"); prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, tries not to take life to seriously, i love dancing a lot, I do a lot of dancing like tiktok (idk I’m so sorry😭) dancing, belly dancing, dabke dancing and more.

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, sometimes wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei and more, i like wearing traditional asian dresses here and there, but the ones highlighted are the ones I wear mostly.

thank you so much again for this opportunity again! 낮이든 밤이든 좋은 시간 보내세요! وداعا الآن

Finally getting this posted even though writing has been quite draining especially with the things going on real life but I hope that you enjoy this story/match up with Alastor! 🤍

Hazbin Hotel Matchup: Alastor The Radio Demon

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✰- Author's Note: Another Hazbin Hotel Matchup remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

✰- Posted: 10/27/2023

✰- Story Contains: Alastor, Romance, Partner Alastor, & Sweet Moments.

✰- Word Count: 1712

✰- matchup is for: @averagetoyakinnie

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The radio demon never really bothered with love, of course he had a few people he cared about. But love? Alastor didn’t really care about it; that was until he started working at the hotel, he met you at first Alastor didn’t know why he found you interesting, but he did. Seeing how awkward you were made Alastor laughed - he would try his best to get you to come out of your shell around him. But he did find your shyness adorable, to the point that whenever meeting people Alastor would help you introduce yourself and make you feel welcomed to the hotel; or when getting something to eat with him and Rosie. Rosie also adored you and made sure to keep an eye on you whenever Alastor was busy. Once you are comfortable around Alastor, he could listen to you talk for hours about things you hate or like. He doesn’t mind that you speak loud; it lets him know that you are passionate. Alastor can match your silly and sarcastic energy which can turn into a game for the both of you. Seeing you be confident and straightforward makes Alastor grin ear to ear, he loves a partner that can stand up for themselves especially when he’s not around since Hell is a tough place. Alastor will do his best to make everyday fun for the both of you or give you some space so that you don’t feel anxious or scattered. He doesn’t mind if you are inpatient. Alastor will watch you help Charlie with her hotel, seeing you be able to solve problems in the hotel or demons that are causing them. He still thanks you for finding a way to get Angel Dust to leave him alone. His little busy bee, he knows what your thinking face looks like, the amount of times he has come home and kissed you because you gave him ideas on how to one up or annoy Vox made him happy. He doesn’t talk about you in front of Vox after messing with him. He doesn’t want Vox coming after you. So you two aren’t really seen in public so whenever you two are out it’s usually with a group or the two of you pretend to be friends so that Vox doesn’t use you against Alastor.

Alastor always tells you a joke, seeing you smile makes Alastor happy but hearing you laugh makes his heart flutter. He’s glad that you have a sense of humor because he also loves your jokes or seeing you be mischievous. The two of you are nosy; so the two of you know all the hotel gossip. This helps Alastor make deals with other demons. When he comes home; he will tell you things about the demons he made deals with. Alastor is your gossip partner, even if you sometimes enjoy gossip with Angel Dust. You still love having a cute gossip session in bed with Alastor. He even has juicy gossip about the overlords in Hell. Before dating Alastor he had seen you break a lot of hotel rules with Husk and Angel Dust. Whenever Alastor caught you and the two of you locked eyes. You would freeze in fear thinking he would tell Charlie. But he the demonic deer would only smile and put a finger towards his lips before walking away, he never told on you because he loves to see how sneaky you can be even if it means breaking a few rules. Even though Alastor doesn’t want kids, he knows that you would make a great parent because you have that fatherly side towards you. “ Thanks for the water (name) “ Charlie would say as the two of you work in the hotel garden. “ Thanks for listening (Name) “ Husk would say after drinking so much that he would go on a drunken rant about his old life while you helped him back home and into bed. Alastor could tell that you hide your anger, sometimes he wants you to release but other times he doesn’t want to force it; whenever you pop then Alastor will be there for you.

He could tell that you are autistic, he loves you and does his best to understand your condition. Seeing you stim is something Alastor takes notes on. If places are too crowded Alastor will get you out of that place. Alastor’s home doesn’t have bright lights. It's very dim at his place so you never have to worry about bright lights. Alastor doesn’t like seeing you overwhelmed so he will do everything in his power to make you feel safe, calm, and comfortable. You and Alastor know all the love languages. The two of you see a lot of movies together even if you both have different types of film taste. Alastor likes to cook dinner for you both. Tying his hair back and wearing a pink apron that has strawberries on it with the red letters that spell “ kiss or kill the cook “ you got it for him when you moved in. Alastor will cook your favorite meals or meals from his mother’s recipe books. But if you two do go out to eat. Alastor will take you to the finest restaurants. Alastor doesn’t really understand video games but he likes to watch you play; you got him into animal crossing….. Don’t look at his animal village. He hates this thought and fears it, here is what it is and why. You are caring towards others; always helping other people or animals. You have such a kind heart it makes Alastor wonder how did you end up in Hell, so if Charlie’s project does work then maybe you will get into Heaven - Alastor is unsure if he will ever get into Heaven, but if you do then Alastor refuses to date anyone else and will spend every night talking to the sky hoping you could hear him from Heaven. But those are just thoughts he has; he’s happy that you are by his side right now.

He won’t do anything to risk you not getting into Heaven. Especially if it’s something that you want. Alastor can see that fiery passion that makes him love that part of you always standing up for what you believe in. Even if the situation can be scary, he admires how brave you can be. “ I’m proud of you my dear. “ Alastor would place a kiss on your cheek. Alastor does spoil you a lot, he will buy you whatever you desire. He doesn’t like when you drink energy drinks like red bull but if you want then he buys it. “ Energy drinks are nasty, but I found a way to get you one, here you are my dear. “ Alastor said, placing the drink in your hand. Even Alastor doesn’t like sweets. He does keep his cabinet and fridge with some sweets for you. He gets you the best sweet treats, the only sweet thing he would eat with you, are strawberries and this because he grows those tasty little things with you. Alastor watches you a lot, so one time he watched you kiss the heads of all your plushies goodnight, when he asked why you do this; you told him just in case they are alive this caused him to roll on the floor while laughing. He finds it funny but also adorable that you do this. Sometimes when you aren’t looking he will use his magic to move one of the plushies when you kiss their head, this makes you think you are just seeing things but that was until you caught Alastor and chased him because of this. Even though Alastor is a mischievous trickster who loves to laugh and cause chaos sometimes his days aren’t wonderful his mental health wouldn’t be the best and he would lay in bed. You notice this so you would stay home and clean up the house, check on Alastor seeing if he’s ready to talk, and make his favorite meal. Alastor is grateful for all this and will hug you from behind before mumbling thank you against your neck.

Alastor could see that you still have humanity in you, especially the emotional parts of you. Whenever you two have a movie night and cuddle on the couch watching movies. You would cry at tragic or happy scenes in the movies. He always has a box of tissues nearby and would hug you close. Alastor doesn’t mind your hobbies even if he doesn't get some of them. You did kinda get him into video games like before he loves to play animal crossing but he does find horror physiology games interesting and will play them whenever he has free time, sometimes those physiology horror games come in handy with his victims. Alastor has tried some asian dishes with you. He finds Mandela Catalog interesting and is something he likes to watch with you at night in bed. You and Alastor sit in the window with you in between his legs and your back against his chest, watching the rain as his radio plays smooth jazz. Alastor finds it fascinating that you can speak six languages. He knows a lot of languages himself so the two of you have conversations in different languages to keep each other educated on these languages. With Alastor being taller than you because you are only 5’6 he teases you a lot but also likes to pick you up. But he knows that you are what is considered average height. He finds your fashion sense interesting, seeing you in new and different outfits. He always compliments you and will go out of his way to buy you the outfits you want, even if you two go shopping and when you look in the mirror at an outfit that is on display he will get it for you. His favorite outfit to see you in is your Victorian goth outfit. He thinks you look breathtaking. Maybe sometimes he will match with you only if he is up for it. Alastor loves everything about you and will never leave you behind or put you in harm's way. He didn’t bother with love but now that he has met you, he will always bother with it.

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin #hazbin alastor #hazbin matchup #alastor x reader #alastor #alastor the radio demon #everlast answers☕#everlasting writes🪻

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katronautt · 1 year

Text

KAT'S 2022 YEAR REVIEW & THANK YOU NOTE

well hello there everyone. i'm not sure if this is still a thing this year because i haven't seen anyone doing this (or i just wasn't tagged in one at all sdjfkfkf) but that won't stop me from writing another year review and saying thank you to my wonderful internet friends!

at the end of last year i finally moved out of my parents house so i've been officially living alone for a whole year now and i'm proud to announce that i still live haha its not easy sometimes and it's hella expensive but i enjoy it nonetheless. i continued decorating and furnishing my apartment and it slowly but surely became my comfy little corner on this earth and im very proud of it :3

i know i said last year sucked and i was hoping for a better one in 2022 but boy oh boy was i wrong lmao

this year was shite. like utter shite. i didn't get a job that i enjoy doing or pays well BUT at least i still have a job lol the job sucks and sometimes i wanna jump out from the 3rd floor window but i managed to make wonderful friends among my colleagues so i'm definitely thankful for that. i only work there for 7 months but i already feel like we've known each for years and they definitely make working there bareable.

this year i also finally get to meet my bff (braincell for life), Ariana (@queenofthefaceless) in person and i am very much grateful for that. i'm sad no more meeting could happen in the rest of the year but maybe in the next one 😉❤

towards the end of the year i started working out again because i gained a little bit of weight and altough i became much more confident this year, it started to bother me so i'm proud of myself for not letting it slide and now i'm mostly focusing on getting my strength back i used to have instead of being the couch potato i was all year lol and one of my new years revolution for 2023 is to eat healthier and work out even more.

and yes i am still not over the fact that you guys putting out those wonderful fics for us for free. you still rock !! 💜💜

next year i will continue to hope for a better job, one that i enjoy and pays better (or at least one of these lol) and to be even more confident and open to new things ( and finding a rich husband 🙏)

ALRIGHTY NOW ONTO THE THANK YOU NOTES:

⭐@queenofthefaceless i still love you bro sm. you rock & i can't wait for another year with you (and your amazing fics)💜

⭐my dearest cee @fuckyeahdindjarin. you started writing for the pedro fandom earlier this year and you decided to start it all with a bang haha. i was hooked on consent after the 2nd chapter and was never let go. your writing is brilliant, my favorite thing is how you can amazingly combine comedy, angst and smut in one chapter in such a kickass way i found myself rereading sentences and conversations just so a chapter would last longer. i loved that series and i cant wat to see what you will bringing into 2023! 💜

⭐ i am so honored to call you my friend kc @avennger. and i'm now so glad that i had the courage of sliding into your dm's and start incoheretnly screaming at you (YOU KNOW AFTER WHICH CHAPTER).. because that started our conversation and i love love love chatting with you and bonding over our disaster saurondriel couple haha. you are one of the most talented writer i've met and you have such great potential i'm honestly in awe. the research and work you put ito your works is absolutely mind-blowing and i hope i'll get to read many many amazing works from you in the future! ily 💜

⭐ @foli-vora foli, you continue to amaze me with your amazing fics and your wonderful and friendly personality. please never change and here's to another year filled with insane horniness towards middle aged man 🥂💜

⭐ i think we can all agree that cristina @pedropascalsx is the nicest and most supportive person on this hellsite right? you always surprise me with the insane amount of goodness you have for the people you care about and you showed nothing but supportiveness and kindness towards me too and for that i am so so grateful. you are a wonderful and talented person and i hope you'll have just as wonderful year in 2023 🥰

⭐ @sirtadcooper ruth, even tho you spent a good amount of 2022 taking a break from tumblr (which i completely understand, believe me) like i said before, i was so happy seeing you back on my dash, you were always so supportive and i hope you won't stop making those amazing edits of yours 😘

⭐@mandosmistress mari, you wonderful, wonderful friend.. i was honored to be your best reader of 2022 very early in the year and here i am hoping to achieve the best reader of 2023 next year just as quckily while we continue our horny brainstorming in the dms because i love doing that with you 🤭💜

⭐@ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa i love and miss our late night (& horny) conversations so much. you are such an amazing and nice person katryn and i hope we get to chat again in the new year! ily 💜

and here's tagging the rest of y'all who i owe my life to because once again your amazing fics give me absolute joy and i know i will never be able to pay it back to you beside the support i'm always trying to give back in reblogs and reviews and promotions and such. here's to you all!! 🥂❤ (i am forever sorry if i missed someone):

@absurdthirst, @the-darklings, @softpedropascal, @write-and-buried, @oonajaeadira, @honestly-shite, @outercrasis, @qveenbvtch, @javier-pena, @toomanystoriessolittletime, @storiesofthefandomlovers, @lellowberry, @frannyzooey, @charnelhouse, @krissology, @juletheghoul, @dincrypt, @f0rever15elf, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @astroboots, @brandyllyn, @littlemisspascal, @radiowallet, @just-here-for-the-moment, @letterfromvienna, @amywritesthings, @the-scandalorian, @whataperfectwasteoftime, @orcas86, @saintmurd0ck, @demonscantgothere

HERE'S TO 2023!!! 🥂💜

#Kat stuff #i love my mutuals #And i love my friends #Here's to you guys #💜💜

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morgandoesstuffsig · 1 year

Text

Party Time! [Genshin]

alt. title; costume party with the og 3 archons! (small kusanali mention)

warnings/tws; dark place, reader is alone in the dark + rain for a second, mentions of loud noises, pretty possessive Zhongli + Ei, sneaky mf Venti purposely pissing them off, semi-dense reader, probably some yandere themes (though not extremely disturbing,) not proofread so there's probably grammar mistakes

req. by; none

chars. used; Zhongli, Venti, Ei.

song of the day; Pretty Little Psycho

a/ns; Heya lovelies! Sorry I've been gone, shits happened, but I'm here! I did, unfortunately, rush this one, but at least I got something out :)

LATER A/N; decided to make this a multi-part post cause i am tired 😻

by continuing from this point on you understand that it is your fault if you see any opinions that you do not agree with and that make you mad. you will not take it out on me or anyone else who enjoys/agrees with them, and you especially will not do anything illegal/dangerous to them or myself.

images do not belong to me and belong to their rightful owners.

PARTY WITH THE THREE ARCHONS!

Zhongli sits alone on the balcony, waiting for a certain someone to arrive. He has all the decors up; a cup of red punch in his hand, the full bowl sitting on a table inside on a table, where two other certain people were, surrounded by others. There Ei sat at a table, also drinking the punch in her hand, only searching through the crowd for them. They hadnt arrived, had they? Were they going to? They had to, they'd promised to! Of course, if they didnt keep to their word, she'd be dissapointed, but everything happens for a reason, doesn't it? Across the room, a certain bard fixed his lyre for his performance. Venti was going to sing a special poem he had written just for them, but what point was there in reading it if they didn't even show up?

Running through the dark streets of Sumeru City, you continously twisted and turned corners. The people who owned the place had ever so graciously loaned it for a costume party, saying that is was on the Greater Lord and Lesser Lord's behalf, even if it really wasn't. The rainwater sloshed against your shoes, splashing against your socks and top. You had to cover your face, or else youd break into the house looking like you crawled out of a lagoon! You finally made the last turn, approaching a large mansion-like building, similar to the Dawn Winery in Mondstat. Looking up, you made eye contact with Zhongli, whose eyes slightly lit up upon meeting yours. He then remembered how hard it was raining, only being sheltered by the cover above the balcony allowing him to forget for a while. He went downstairs, albeit quickly, and opened the door for you, greeting you with a smile plastered on his face. "Ah Y/N, so glad you're here. I thought you may have gotten lost as Sumeru is quite large." He said, grabbing your hand gently and leading you inside. "Yeah, almost did! All those twists and turns really did mess me up a bit, but I made it here nonetheless!" You replied, smiling. "You're soaking wet, come come, let's get you settled—" He said before being cut off by a unexpected voice coming from behind you. "Y/N! There you are! I thought you wouldnt make it in time for my performance!" Venti whined, grabbing your hand from Zhongli's, interlocking it with his and holding it up to his chest, dramatic and comical tears threatening to spill from his puppy eyes. "Wow, cant have faith in me, huh?" You said, giggling at the theatre he was putting on already, not noticing Zhongli's slight glare at Venti, clenching his hand into a fist before exhaling and putting it on his side. Unfortunately, Venti did notice and gave Zhongli a condescending smirk. This only irked him more, exactly what the shorter man wanted. "I'm going to go talk to Ei now, dont want her to feel left out!" You said, removing your hands from Venti's, making him frown. "Awww do you have to gooo?" He said, but you had already headed towards the table she was seated at. "I dont know what you're up to, but I know that you're going to purposely make it annoy me, so take some advice from your elders... Don't."

"Hey Ei! Hope you didnt think I forgot about you!" You said as you took at seat next to her. "Ah, greetings Y/N. It's a pleasure to see you again." She replied, looking at you and giving the smallest smile ever. "Its nice to see you too! What have you been up too?" "..." She looked away, nervous, which was odd for the Electro Archon. She was always so confident, what could she possibly be doing to make her embarrassed? "Ei?" "....I.. err... nothing much. What have you been up to? We havent.. seen eachother... properly.. in a while." She said, directing the focus back onto you. Weird. Maybe something's bothering her, but if she doesnt want to tell me, I wont pry. It's her decision to tell me, not my choice to pressure her into doing so. "Nothing much actually. Just running around and doing commissions and looking around Sumeru now that I have the chance to." You answered her. She looked back up at and said in a soft tone, "I'm sorry for... making you deal with.. my problems.. it wasnt very responsible of me and I should've thought more about what you had on your plate before I shoved my issues onto you.. I truly am sorry." The apology shocked you — you hadnt expected it, even if you did technically deserve it. She seemed genuine and nervous, you couldnt just leave her without a response, now could you? "It's okay, I know–" "No, it's not okay!" She suddenly cut you off. "Its not okay for me to just land my problems on to handle when you were already dealing with so much! You didn't - and still dont - deserve that! You needed a chance to rest, yet I dropped a trainwreck of problems on you because I was too weak to deal with them myself! I not only mistreated you, but also all my subjects, and they are what make me a leader! It is not okay!" She said sternly, putting her hands on your shoulders. "It is not your place to deal with other's problems because you should be your top priority, not anyone or anything else." "I– uhm.." You didnt know how to respond to that. She was right, of course, but you never really thought too much about it. Youd been juggling all these problems that werent your own and it felt like they were. You needed to be reminded of that, and that's exactly what Ei did. She reminded you that you are also important.

PT 1. END

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attackradish · 16 days

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Hello my mental health is the worst it’s been all year. If not longer

I could verify this by going through my vent tag but I am not going to because that takes time. This trait of mine is part of the problem but I’m not in a place to fix that right now.

ANYWAYS why am I like this. I have some inklings as to why.

Work is now opening an hour sooner. Meaning I have to wake up earlier and I have been losing sleep as a result. This is not good for the Mental Health

Current drama with a coworker that I am not going to go into that because it’s complicated and rather stupid.

Today was supposed to be my Tax Day where I did my Taxes but I was hit by dread this morning so I didn’t get around to it until like 5PM and then realized I don’t have one of my W2 forms and I can’t go looking around for that because my dad will tell me how stupid I am and how I never care about anything and am doing this on purpose. And I actually can’t care about anything I feel, but it’s not like I’m not trying it’s just that I have no soul.

I cannot give my friends the attention they deserve. I am burnt out I have no energy left for being a friend and yet there are people who miss me. And I can’t be there often enough for them not to miss me. I am neglecting them and I am a terrible person but I need to be alone.

I really do feel that I have reached my full potential. There is simply not enough caring or gumption or whatever it is I’m missing in this body of mine to achieve anything further. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move out or date or even get a job I like better than DQ. I’m done being closeted in my parents house and I’m ready to quit early.

I can’t quit early. Firstoff I have friends who care about me, and I can’t imagine what it’d do to them. I’ve got a baby niece in the house too who smiles when she sees me so I gotta live for her too. And that’s not mentioning how difficult and impractical non-painful methods of dying are. Seriously. Best option I have is locking myself in the walk in freezer with a CO2 canister, but I learned from a cool book I read that high concentrations of CO2 will make you feel like you’re suffocating, and the best gas for that purpose is Nitrogen. Which costs money and is very conspicuous.

I also don’t want to die. I just want the suffering to be over, and death really seems to be the only way out aside from Miracles like universal housing passing within the next year or two, or I attain Godhood and can just do as I please. I think about dying and it makes me want to cry. Being on the verge of tears for long periods of time really does something for my perception of my mental health, being that I haven’t been like this since the family dog died. Maybe crying would do me good.

I should probably get a therapist but I don’t have time or energy for my friends, scheduling these things takes time and effort and I don’t want to have to talk to my parents about it. I should probably get antidepressants. Also my laundry basket from yesterday isn’t even all the way filled up and it’s 9:58. And I have work tomorrow but no uniforms. God I just need to rest.

BUT HERE’S THE THING ABOUT REST. I’VE ALREADY HAD A WEEK OFF OF WORK BECAUSE OF THE FEVER. MY JOB IS UNDERSTAFFED AND I CANT MAKE THEM SUFFER THROUGH THAT AGAIN AT SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

Anyways I have been putting no effort into finding a place since like last year, or finding a therapist. Or really anything. I’m not sure if I can even do that. I have reached my limit. I’m simply not much substance. I’m nice to have around and talk to but quite frankly I don’t have it in me to actually survive on my own. I don’t have it in me to die either. So who knows what is going to happen. I’m going to rot forever. Dying a slow death with nothing but fantasy to dull the edges.

I have a friend who’s offered to let me crash at their place, but I can’t take them up on that offer because I’ll just be the same lifeless rock that I am. Forever. And I can’t do that to them. If I can’t break free on my own then I’m afraid I never will. My chrysalis will just stay gathering dust. Sapping resources. I need to grow wings but I don’t know if I can.

So here I remain. Closeted at my parent’s house. Probably forever. The brain does not engage. I’ve been dead for years but the body still breathes. This is all I am and it is not enough. I’m gonna pretend I live in Star Wars now until I forget the useless thing that I am. I have work tomorrow.

#vent.tw #Suicide mention #Literally I cannot kill myself. I lack the executive function and the conviction #If I had enough motivation to get sleeping pills or nitrogen or whatever I’d have enough to get an apartment and be free from this mess #God. I’m going to die of old age #Anyways I was considering going to a friend over this but I have not invested enough in those friendships to just dump this on one of them #Out of the blue

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confessions-official · 2 months

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Tw ed and possible depression?

I feel sick when I think about if I'm depressed or not. I dont like using that word, I havent earned it. I have a loving family and the best girlfriend in the world. I dont wanna die, I just dont wanna exist. I dont wanna do anything except smoke weed, Which helps things not seem so dim. It makes me feel less. Bored I guess. I sont wanna do anything. I dont wanna game, I dont wanna talk to my family, I dont wanna talk to my friends, I dont wanna talk to my girlfriend, I dont wanna draw, I dont wanna do my work, I dont wanna get out of bed. But I do. I know people who are depressed who cant make themself gwt out of bed.

I feel like a faker. I cant tell anyone I feel this way because it'd be unnecessary burden to them, And their lives are already hard enough without me adding to it. I don't want to tell anyone the bad stuff because then they'd think the same way, But mt life isnt even that bad. Its hard to say or send anything because my body just. Doesnt let me. I'll be trying to post a silent cry for help and automatically exit out and cancel the post. I'll write it all up and instead of hitting send I delete it all.

I dont even eat half the time anymore. I wait until its unbearable and affecting me to eat. I used to tell my gf because when she tells me to eat I do, But I stopped. I dont wanna bother her. Nobody notices either, Since in our house we usually only eat dinner together, And that's if my dad doesnt have to work. He leaves at 3 o'clock every day so its not like he can see if I'm eating or not.

Im doing better in school now, I was trying but. Now I'm not. It doesnt matter though. I dont even remember what grade I'm in. Being homeschooled means I never have to see or speak to anyone. Its what I wanted anyways. Less work. Less hours. Less effort lower goals yet higher outcomes. I had 3 F's almost constantly in school, Now I only have one, And the rest are A's and B's.

Its easy when you can search anything and everything up. If I have an essay I read the wiki page for whatever its about and I've only gotten 100%'s in english so far. My overall grade is a 100% for english actually

I just dont understand. I dont hate myself do I? I thought i finally loved myself. I thought i finally fixed it i fixed myself i was finally better i was normal. Theres no reaskn i should be feeling so desprately lost and so alone nd so. Sad

I'm sorry. I know this isnt the blog for this, I know this is for confessions but this is the only place I can say any of this. I couldnt tell anyone in my life that I dont wanna exist, Or that I think my brain snapped, Or that I have serious problems. I hate this. I just want someone to know and care. I just want someone to notice something is wrong. Itd make it so much fucking easier if I coulrnt jide behind the lie of 'im okay'

#confession #suicide #eating disorder

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br4inr0tx · 5 months

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Hello how are you doing this fine evening/or morning? hopefully well I expect, thank you for doing a matchup exchange with me and let’s start!

Fandom: May I have a romantic male matchup for hazbin hotel, helluva boss and the John Doe game please? I just don’t want mammon, or any hellhounds(like vortex, loona) at all (I love them but I don’t wanna be matched up with one) and no Angel dust either, just wanna change in character :,)

My name is Jaxrel but I also go by Himawari, Rin, Eden or Luke too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Polyamory, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD, im wasian (eastern european & west-southeast asian), polish, arab/middle eastern, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward, shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, im on the more severe of of the Autism Spectrum so I would like someone to acknowledge that and I also stim when I’m to overwhelmed when there’s a crowded place, to much lighting, etc.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid/regular producer, i can rap, i make odecore/breakcore/scenecore music and I make music to similar artists I like, dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer(football)/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, k-pop/j-pop, vkei, watching documentaries/youtube, decorating my room, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, partys, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, any asian food (japanese, korean, chinese, taiwanese, etc), the mandela catalog, your boyfriend (game), roblox(game), otome games and more!

these are some of my top kins!!: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), urumi akamaki (alice in borderland), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), blade (honkai star rail), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot such as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i basically wear casual clothes too but can also pull off a kpop idol look, i also wear a lot of cool dresses and suits, i wear fishnets and combat boats/converse, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT, I wear a lot of other harajuku styles such as kimono style, jirai kei, decora, mori kei, cult party kei, i like wearing traditional asian dresses and more but the ones highlighted are the ones I wear mostly. (I wear a LOT of gyaru, lolita, ouji & vkei recently LOL)

どうもありがとうございます！Have a good day/or night!

Ofc! I’m glad I got to do one with you. You’re extremely cool btw, I hope we can be mutuals! <3

tw - blood, knives, guns, murder of others, occultism, description of mutilation on another person, implied stalking, toxic relationships (they’re murderous people, what do you expect?)

Your Hazbin Hotel matchup is… ALASTOR !!

• I think the next best ship for you would be Alastor! I’m not super confident with this one, but I hope you do enjoy this match nonetheless.

• Alastor would immediately break down those awkward walls you built up, making conversation with your pretty quickly, almost instantly after you meet. He kind of is a little pushy too, if he needs something from you, whatever that might be. He’s used to awkwardness though, so please don’t feel ashamed.

• I like to think it’s impossible for Alastor to be absolutely quiet. There’s always radio noises being played, and his voice can get only get to a pitch where it’s literally just him using an inside voice. I don’t think he can whisper lmao.

• That being said, you guys are relatively loud. The both of you can embrace it together! Anyone who speaks on it will surely have a talk with Alastor.

• The both of you have a great sense of humor, and laugh at each others jokes a lot! Granted he may use a lot of dad-jokes, but the times he’s genuinely funny you adore.

• He loves it when you break the rules of what’s "normal". Or even the times you cause trouble! Alastor definitely encourages it and will sometimes be right by your side while you’re at it.

• He doesn’t take offense to things easily. If you ever catch onto his tricks and point them out, he’ll just love of observant and clever you are..which is something he’s attracted to in my mind.

• Your laugh is extremely cute to him, especially if you’re laughing at his silly dad-jokes. He tries to get you to laugh when he can!

• I’d imagine you’d want to pet his deer ears. If you’re daring enough you probably died and spawned in Hell again. Mind you he doesn’t like animals for their cuteness, as he used to hunt them. Perhaps you can warm him up to them just a little? Most likely he’ll just let you indulge.

• You’re a very independent person, and while he sometimes fantasizes seeing you at your lowest, it might makes him feel tingly seeing not everyone on this Earth is pathetic.

• He’s more of a tea person (Or at least I think so, as he’s shown drinking tea in his prequel comic.). He at spoils you with little outings to the coffee shop together too.

• Honestly, he spoils you rotten with gifts too. Especially plushies and the remains of those people you oh so hate.

• He doesn’t understand your soda craze..so instead of buying you soda he’s more traditional, getting you chocolates and sweets instead.

• He hates TV. He won’t watch Anime with you typically, but if you want to rant or talk about it you may humor him, along with sometimes hearing his opinion on it.

• Most of the time he tries to get a genuine understanding on whatever you love. As I mentioned he wouldn’t watch anything, but definitely picks up on common details that’ll probably make you feel heard when he mentions them.

• Alastor isn’t a touchy person either. If by any chance you want to be touched, it’ll have to be in complete privacy.

• You’re very cute when you cry. He’ll do a light head pat to make you feel better, though honestly he doesn’t do much else. He loves to have his control over your emotions.

• Alastor thinks you’re very talented! He loves seeing you draw, and he can often pick out specific small details in your art, which you like.

• Honestly, all of your collections are impressive! Though Alastor might poke fun and ask if it’s really necessary to collect so much.

• The languages you speak are gorgeous. He loves hearing you speak them. Especially in a intimate or feisty manner.

• You’re style is gorgeous as well. He’s especially in love with your gothic and Vkei style, since it compliments the both of you together. Whenever you wear dresses or suits he's over the moon!

• He definitely dances with you a lot! He’s more prone to traditional and jazz dancing, but all dancing is very fun! Though I don’t think you could ever catch Alastor doing hip hop or any jazz dancing.

• You’re more of a prized pet to Alastor. I wouldn’t be sad by that either, since it’s be way worse to be on his shit list instead. I don’t think he’s truly capable of pure love, but at the same time your relationship isn’t one sided. He loves you most, since you’re the most entertaining to his daily afterlife.

Your Helluva Boss matchup is… BLITZØ !!

• The one hell of a boss from I.M.P.! I think he’d be a good match for you, Stolas and Millie being a close seconds.

• Blitzø is very extroverted, though at sometimes he can be awkward, and not really in the mood to talk. It’s easy to tell when he wants to be alone, since he makes an active effort to isolate himself, so be aware of that and take not hard feelings.

• Just like you, he’s very talkative and loud. Don’t worry about talk to much, as he does the same thing.

• He’s especially loud when he’s off doing regular Blitzø shinanigans. Though it seems if it’s something serious he knows to calm down and focus, and will try to get you to do the same.

• I like to think he’s the friend at the lunch table that accidentally seems to always laugh way to loud and then get everyone to turn to your table and cringe at you guys. (That might be specific lmao-)

• He’s very much a silly goober, and will do certain things with no rhyme or reason to some extent. Please don’t worry if you get too silly, as remember you now have a boyfriend that will commit arson in every ring just to see which one gets the most pissed off.

• Blitzø constantly hurts himself considering what he does for a job. It melts his heart when you heal him from a mission..he feels extremely cared for in those moments.

• While Blitzø might not say he doesn’t need it, he really appreciates you taking care of him on his down days.

• Considering you both need to get some anger out, I can see a date night being the both of you going to a wreck room or something. He usually doesn’t have all the time in the world for dates due to his job, but when they do happen they usually have a lot of thought out into them.

• Another cute idea would be to go to his favorite horse ranch, since Blitzø loves horses, and you simply love all animals. He’ll even buy to riding lessons!

• Blitzø probably thought stimming was weird at first, but after he started replicating (probably mockingly knowing him smh) it with, he realized how fun and regulating it can be.

• Blitzø has no personal space unless he’s the one that wants it, he’s around you a lot, though knows your boundaries. He’s more usually in a five meter radius of you then touching, as he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Honestly, others are scared to be around you two for too long, but that just keeps the two of you closer.

• As for your anger issues, he recommends you take it out on others by killing! (Take the advice of you want, up to you.)

• Blitzø can’t be left alone for too long, or he’ll just end up doing something stupid anyway. That being said, being in company to calms down both of your racing minds.

• Blitzø isn’t really into money as much as he’s into actual items. That being said, he’s very money blind, and simply spends a lot. I’d like to think he buys his random horse figurines with I.M.P.’s money. If you ever call him out on that, he might just realize your own habits. This way the two of you can call each other out and maybe set a certain budget for the both of you, and if anything goes over that price you’d need to discuss it together to see if it’s worth it.

• He LOVES junk food, and he most definitely has stashes of snacks all over his office. He’d love to share it with you!

• There was this one time before you went to bed, Blitzø snuck into your bed and pretended to be one of your plushies just so he could get a goodnight kiss lmao. You ended up with him as your stuffie to cuddle tightly that night. <3

• He does love to watch it with you when he has the time, and hopefully you’d like to watch his own shows sometimes too.

• He loves playing video games with you! Though on certain games he can get particularly competitive, and would probably not care less to let you win unless you did of fair and square. He can be a bit of an asshole in that regard, but at least you’d get some fun commentary on the way!

• Your music is on his playlist for sure, and he’ll always ask to be the first one to listen to a new song, demo or not.

• He also really adores your art! He’d commission you all the time to draw horses for him lmao

• He spoils you rotten with presents in the form of figurines and plushies! If he’s in more of a mood though, sometimes the presents will be bootlegs. He means well by it of course.

• Blitzø loves coffee! (Supposedly, as on his Instagram he’s seen with it a lot.) He’d loves getting coffee with you all the time so the two of you can both fill that caffeine rush you have.

• You guys would also bully kids on roblox. I thin Blitzø would really enjoy playing mimic and piggy, but he honestly hops into whatever game you’re in.

• You’re definitely taller then him, since he’s an Imp. Please billy him about it lmao.

• Still on appearances, Blitzø really cares about the outfits he wears. He always has an aesthetic he sticks to for a day, much like you. That being said, he can easily help you pick an outfit for the day if you just ask.

• Blitzø isn’t the best at cheering you up with words often times. He tries to go by the mentality that misery love company, and for that, he simply lends a helping hand and hope it works.

• Blitzø might seem like asshole of a guy sometimes, but he genuinely cares about people weather he tries to show that or not. He loves you, and he’s glad to have someone that will, once again, be a genuine friend.

Your John Doe matchup is… JOHN DOE !!

• you little cheater he’s the only fucker in the game. Unless you’re also counting House Hunted and Fox’s other games- but with that still in place Doe is the best match for you.

• Doe is very forward, and never beats around the bush. Doe is more extroverted then you, and therefore will be willing to speak for you if you ever needed that.

• Doe doesn’t really have a rhyme or reason for some of the things she does, so I believe your guidance would be needed. On the other hand though, Doe would help you find ways to let loose!

• He buys you a lot of stuff, since he knows you love it! He will literally spoil you rotten. He also likes the reaction you make to his presents, disc

• Doe will literally become a house wife if that’s what you want, even. They’re extremely flexible to whatever you desire, especially since it’s coming from you.

• She would do anything for a goodnight kiss..Like Blitzø, she’d most likely pretend to be one of your plushies just so she could steal I kiss, even though they’re very well capable of just asking lol.

• Doe doesn’t typically have bad mental health days, but he’s very poignant to yours. He may get not do well with the speaking parts in that regard, but like I said before, misery loves company. He’ll most likely just sit next to you like a curious puppy, knowing your dad but not understanding anything beyond that realization.

• Doe is really loud, from what I gather. Especially when they’re excited about something, they start to speak up, even speeding up their words a little. It’s hard to keep up with sometimes, but seriously, don’t be worried about your volume. Doe is basically blind to that stuff.

• She watches all of your favorite shows with no judgement whatsoever. Doe loves all TV! She also listens to all kinds of music, though her personal favorite is static noise.

• Doe is very touchy, so unfortunately it will take some times to resist touching you since he’s been waiting a long, looong time to do anything with you.

• Doe can’t really help with sleep. They’d just stare at you, maybe stroke their warm fingers through your hair to lull you to sleep if you as them to.

• Doe plays a lot of games with you though! She might cheat with her reality warping powers just to tease you. Your reaction is always so cute!!

• Doe worships you like a god, honestly. Especially if the relationship works out. Doe loves you for every talent you have, weather that be dancing or drawing. They praise you so much for it, it’s really sweet.

• I’d also like to think he likes candy and coffee, with some er..specific ingredients at the very least. Still, they love following you around most of the time. If you go to a certain place, expect Doe to certainly be there either next to you or hiding somewhere to stalk you closely. Sometimes it’s best to just walk gnome it and go on with your daily lives.

• They don’t understand speaking other languages, but when you call him something in a specific name or anything similar he lights up like a lightbulb too. You’re just too cute! Too adorable..

• After looking through John Doe cosplays, I saw this one cosplayer on my feed that would often go around making skits at parks and stuff with their friends. Therefore, that gave me the headcanon the Doe ADORES making tiktoks of any kind.

• You both dress in similar styles! Doe would love to wear one of those couple onesies with you, or just genuinely match your outfit for a day. Either way, you’re not brushing their hair still. It will stay extremely stiff and still for many few more years,.

• feel free to dress him in else - Of course, feel free to dress himself in anything you want. Goth might be his go-to look, but I bet he wouldn’t mind the change up once in awhile.

• John Doe loves you so much, he’d practically do anything for you. Just be appreciative, and don’t hurt Doe’s feelings too much, and you’ll have the definition of a golden retriever boyfriend!

your Boyfriend to Death matchup is.. LAWRENCE OLEANDER !!

• I feel Lawrence would be the best match for you! It’s not even because you like him either, I think genuinely next place to Ren, Lawrence would be there!

• He relates to you awkward moments quite a bit. He has them all the time, so he finds comfort in the times you fumble your words. It makes him feel a little less alone.

• Though when you get to excited, he asks you to quiet down a little. He’ll probably be the first quiet person you absolutely cannot make be loud. Well, I guess unless he’s gutting you or sm.

• He appreciates your straight forwardness as well. When people beat around the bush, or joke around to often, it can often get him nervous.

• He gets in his head a lot, much like you do. The both of you often vent to each other instead. Though I can’t promise Lawrence will fully listen, as he often can’t take too much of others feelings. Especially if it pertains to him.

• He vents to you guine often actually, most of the time without permission or warning. He has a lot on his mind, and you tend to quell his shattering sanity with your calming presence.

• He definitely feels more chill around you, which is great you give off that affect! He doesn’t feel that way with anyone else, aside maybe from Ren. His chest tightens when he’s around you..and his heart skips a beat. You must be special.

• That being said though, he’ll become very needy for your comfort, so be prepared for that.

• I headcanon Lawrence as autistic, so he most likely stims with you! His favorites are toe taps and hand flapping, and his apartment is probably cluttered with fidget toys in random areas. You’re free to use them if you want!

• He buys your favorite drinks if you listen to his long vents. Just a simple gift for listening to him for so long.

• He’s not big on touch either, so you guys don’t really have that issues of physical affection. If one of you by any chance wants to be touched, you talk, and that’s that.

• He enjoys how creative you can get! His mind can go a little dull, as the river consumes most of his thoughts. Thinking about things you do is a nice change of pace, and immediately gets him attached to you.

• He just loves everything you do. Watching you dance is so cute..especially when you don’t know he’s watching.

• I think he’d mostly enjoy listening to documentaries with you, especially if the narrator has a calming voice lol.

• Lawrence really likes tea! He also enjoys going on outings with you, even if that doesn’t immediately read on his face. Most likely he likes seeing you happy, but it’s also another way to get his mind off things.

• He doesn’t notice when you fumble your words. He’s not really aware of most modern slang anyway. Even if he does notice somethings, he usually gets what really mean anyway to point it out.

• I believe Lawrence likes people with an specific aesthetic different from the norm, especially if they show it through their clothing. Seeing you in different styles and confident to wear them out makes his heart skip a beat! Especially if you’re wearing something particularly revealing. He eats that up. <3

• He loves the way you looked despite what you might say. He tends to obsess over your physical appearance, as he’s not much of a people person to point out your personality, unfortunately. I’m sure he’s aware of some things though.

• He loves you a lot. Please, don’t break his heart. You wouldn’t want him punish you otherwise, do you?

your Price of Flesh matchup is.. KOMODO & DRAGON !!

• I think these two would be perfect for you! I don’t think you’d really be able to get away with dating one of them without the other either, so I hope you like having both!

• Outside the desert games, I think Mike and Jace keep to themselves. They can be very reserved like you sometimes, and most often don’t bother with taking in anyone. They’re both tough nuts to crack, I’m that sense.

• Eventually, the two will open up to you, seeing as you have the same interests as them. If you aren’t a victim or already convinced, they’d try convincing you to join their yearly game of manhunt. They even recommend kidnapping someone you hate so you can sacrifice them to Strade! Surely ripping their guts out will be satisfying, and a stress relief. You wouldn’t need to deal with that asshole anymore!

• They love teasing you on your awkward behavior weather you’re a victim or not. It gives them a total power rush that they simply can’t let you get away with.

• Even if they tease a lot, they secretly love your cute little quirks. Your laugh, greedy and neediness; as well as the times you fumble your words and your taste in food. Much like everyone else on this matchup list, they like to buy you things. Especially when you guys plan on hanging out all together.

• When officially a part of their relationship, your emotions will be taken care anytime you need to attention. They’ll do whatever they can to make you feel better and comfortable.

• Although Jace, or Dragon, is more blunt, most of the time he’s just teasing. If he says something brutally honest as to where it’s not a joke, he’ll apologize for being too harsh.

• Mike, or Komodo, is the more laxed partner. He can get a little emotional too, and sometimes cry if something particularly pulls at his heartstrings. He’s definitely a cryer, although he doesn’t want to admit that. So I’d see the two of you bonding over your shared sensitive emotions.

• They’re extremely glad you reciprocate the same love and care as well. Sometimes it gets dark for them too, and to have you on there side as much as they have yours is well valued amongst the two of them.

• You’re extremely cute to them. The feeling of you being smaller then them, and absolutely having you as their cute plaything they have to share drives them nuts. Rest assured, they have plenty of plans for you.

• They bully you for having plushies, in a playful way. Mike and Jace think they’re cute, although may or may not get jealous sometimes if you’re cuddling one. They should be the one you’re cuddling.

• They watch anime with you a lot! I think they watch anime quite often anyway, so watching it with you is nice. Most of the time you guys agree of one anime to binge, and you guys watch as much as you can together. As you’d expect, they’re drawn to anime with a more dark setting or plot.

• They can go with you without touching you to be honest. Maybe one of them will have a hand over you on the couch, but not necessarily touching you. They don’t bring it up or care that much if you don’t want to be touched. Either way, you’re still theirs.

• I have no clue what they listen to, but I can assume it’s probably metal music? They both look like generic metal heads anyway, especially Mike. I doubt they listen to Vocaloid, K-pop, or J-pop, but they wouldn’t be annoyed by it. Some songs got them jamming too! Not to mention they like listening to the song your produce, you’re so talented!

• You’re art is amazing as well! Though I see them being those assholes that beg you to draw them lmao. Weather you indulge them or not is up to you.

• Overall, they mostly enjoy chilling out with you all together, playing video games or watching YouTube, anime, or any show/movie you guys feel like watching. It’s the best past time amongst the three of you!

• They adore seeing you dance, by the way. It may or may not be a turn on for them, but I totally didn’t say that.

• Like Lawrence, they get giddy if you wear anything revealing. On the flip side, they enjoy how much effort you put into your outfits, and how you always come out looking as cute as you are. They like to show you off sometimes too! You’re so amazing, how could they not once in awhile?

• By the by, they think you’re perfect. You’re super sweet to them, and treat them like babies, so they treat you like a prince in return, much like you deserve. They’d turn the world upside down just for you.

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