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screamin-abt-haikyuu · 2 months

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You're jealous but you can't do anything because you're not dating him (Part 7) - Wakatoshi Ushijima

Pairing: Ushijima x Fem! reader

Genre: Angst to fluff

Warnings: none, really? Reader calls him Toshi.

Requested by: @ushisrever

A/N: Can't believe I posted the last update to this more than two years ago. Has it really been that long???? The incomplete series has been bothering me for two years now lmao. Didn't think I'd ever find a fitting scenario for Ushiwaka but thanks to @dira333 helping me sound off some ideas, I was able to get that perfect "snap!" you get when you fit a puzzle piece in perfectly. Gave me enough brain juice to write this out before going back into hibernation.

Serving you some fresh, hot angst and then some lol. Enjoy the burn and then the healing. For someone who was as far removed from Ushiwaka (emotionally) as one can, writing this actually made me see him in a new light. Loved writing him. Hopefully, it stays as true to his canon nature as it can. Hopefully I don't trash this before it's out💀 but if you're reading this, it's good lol.

It feels like the entire Shiratorizawa is at the gates of the school.

"I can't believe she's coming to our school!"

"AAA I can't stop imagining how she'll look in our school uniform."

"Do you think she already has a boyfriend? Maybe I have a chance?"

"I don't know about a boyfriend but you certainly don't have a chance with her."

"Must you always be so cruel?!"

"If you think a star child actor who has made it so big in the industry is going to date a simpleton like you, you're delusional."

You sigh, annoyed, as you try to make your way through the babbling crowd. You're already late for your morning classes and you couldn't care any less about Hoshiko Nakamura. Or any celebrity for that matter.

"In fact, I don't think any boy in this school has a chance with her. Hmm... except maybe Ushiwaka? Not that he'd be interested in dating her anyway. Sometimes I feel like that guy doesn't have any emotions at all."

Your ears perk up at the Ace's name.

Wakatoshi Ushijima has become somewhat of a celebrity at school ever since he was selected for the under 19 representative for Japan in the Youth World Championship.

He was already well known as the formidable volleyball player who crushes any team that he takes on. However, his serious and stoic nature has kept most people from approaching him. Till now, at least.

The girl was right. Wakatoshi wouldn't even think about dating anyone. You seem fairly sure of that. However, the suggestion still leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

You're wrong about him not having any emotions you think as you finally break free from the crowd and sprint towards your classroom.

You've known Wakatoshi for as long as you can remember. You remember when his family moved into the house next to yours when you were just little kids. You remember watching the reserved, determined figure of the boy practicing volleyball all by himself in the nearby park. You remember going up to him and offering to play with him. Out of all these memories, the most vivid of them all was the way his eyes subtly lit up when you said you wanted to play with him.

Time has blurred into a haze since then. Even though you both went to different schools all through junior and middle school years, you both kept alive the tradition of playing volleyball together in park.

"You should come to Shiratorizawa," he had said that fateful day. You both were in the last year of middle school. It was a beautiful evening as you both walked back home from the park, the setting sun throwing hues of red and gold across the partially cloudy sky.

"That's not in my hands. I tried in middle school, remember? I want Shiratorizawa but Shiratorizawa doesn't seem to want me," you said, kicking a pebble on the road. Funny how I could say the same about you.

"That was three years ago. You have grown," he said without pause.

"We'll see. I don't want to get my hopes too high. You know just as well as I do that they give preference to athletes over normal students like me. Casual volleyball games with you are just about as sporty as I get," you said as you reached out to open the gate to your home.

You turned to say goodbye to him and found him looking at you, his expression more serious than usual.

"It's not about athleticism."

"Shiratorizawa only accepts the best. Be it volleyball or anything else. I believe you fit into that category. You should come," he says, looking straight into your eyes.

Your stomach flutters. How could he have so much faith in you? There is no doubt that he believes in you because Wakatoshi Ushijima always means what he says. Almost 5 years of knowing him had taught you that. You still found it hard to digest, though.

"I'll try my best, I promise."

"I know you will."

"Class, please give a warm welcome your new classmate, Hoshiko Nakamura!"

You can't help but gawk at her. Saying she is pretty would be a severe understatement. If she looks pretty on screen, it is nothing compared to what she looks like off screen. You look at your desk partner to see if he is thinking the same. Wakatoshi, however, seems to simply be listening to the teacher.

"Miss Nakamura, I'm sure you will have no problem settling in here. To kind of help you settle in this new environment, I was thinking of seating you next to Ushijima as I believe you two have met before at some of the national events."

The teacher might as well have thrown a bus at you and it would have felt just about the same as you do now.

Hoshiko's face lights up. "That would be great. Wakatoshi-kun has always been a delight to be with. Thank you for having me," she says and bows.

Did she just call him by his first name?

"Ah, Y/N, sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I wanted to get a hold of you before morning class but couldn't. I hope it's not a problem," the teacher says.

You force a polite smile. "It's not a problem at all," you say and start packing your bag.

Hoshiko walks up to the desk and waits patiently for you to gather your stuff, thanking you again.

Your legs feel heavy as you take the empty seat diagonal to them in the adjacent row.

I'm panicking for no reason. They just know each other from an event. It makes sense to make her sit with a familiar and safe person, given her popularity. Yes, Wakatoshi is definitely the ideal choice in this scenario. He is not someone who would be creepy in any sense. He's also strong and intimidating so it would keep the creeps away. It's fine. It'll be fine. Nothing is going to happen between them... right?

"Wakatoshi-kun, I'm so glad I got to sit next to you," she says, smiling at him, speaking loud enough for people sitting nearby to hear.

"Actually, if I'm being honest, when I decided to come back to my hometown to complete my studies, I knew I wanted to go to Shiratorizawa immediately," she continues.

"Of course. Shiratorizawa is the best school in the prefecture. It's only natural to want to study here," Ushijima says, completely seriously.

Hoshiko blushes. "Ah... that is not what I meant... nevermind," she says, causing the guy behind them to burst into laughter.

It seems like the hollow sensation growing in your stomach is here to stay.

It has been two months since the day Hoshiko joined your school. With Ushijima going to school earlier than usual and practicing late into the night for the Inter High preliminaries, he hasn't been able to spend much time with you lately. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered you because you could see him in class everyday but with Hoshiko now taking your place, you barely get to say more than hi to him.

However, with the prelims now over and the upcoming week-long break ahead, you're hoping to get some one-on-one time with him once again. All these years with him have made him such an intrinsic part of your daily life that it feels like something big is missing when he's not around. To the world, Wakatoshi Ushijima might be a lot of things. But to you, Wakatoshi Ushijima is home. He is comfort. He is strength. He is someone that you know like the back of your own hand. He is someone that your heart always keeps coming back to. He is the only love you have ever known.

You know that he doesn't share the same feelings for you. But that doesn't stop your heart from longing for him.

The lessons for the day are over and you walk back to your class, eager to pack your bag and go home with Ushijima. You wonder if he'll want to go to the park in the evening.

"She's asking him out! She's asking him out!"

"No WAY! I am SO jealous."

A small crowd has gathered around the window and they're whispering amongst themselves as they look outside.

"Man, that Ushiwaka is so lucky! He gets to date the most beautiful girl in the entire country."

"I mean… he is in the nation's top 3 aces and an under 19 representative of Japan. Not to mention he's tall and strong and good looking. They're actually perfect for each other."

Your heart drops down to your feet.

You look out the window and find yourself looking at Hoshiko and Ushijima standing a ways away from the school building. They're in a quiet, secluded spot and Hoshiko seems to be blushing as she says something to him. You see him nod and say something in return. Hoshiko's face lights up in pure delight and even though they are at a distance, you can hear the joy in her voice.

"No way!!!! He said yes?? I thought he wasn't interested in girls!"

"Goddamn it! There goes my chance!"

You feel dizzy as you watch the two of them walk back to school together.

No. This can't be. You have always known that he doesn't like you that way. But you thought he wasn't interested in dating at all.

No. You shouldn't make any assumptions just yet. These gossip mongers are messing with your head. For all you know, he could have said yes to being in a show or something. You shouldn't despair before you hear the truth from him.

You blink back your tears and run to your class. Thankfully, it's empty. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and wait. Both of them soon appear in the hallway. The crowd surrounds them instantly, wanting to drown them in questions but Ushijima breaks away from them easily and walks towards the class. He comes up to you.

"Y/N. I'm sorry I won't be able to come to the park today."

It's true.

"Hoshiko and I are going to watch this new movie playing at the theatre-"

He's going on a date with her.

"Apparently it has a lot of volleyball in it-"

He's going on a date with h-

"You should join us."

Huh?

"What?"

"I figured you might like it since you play volleyball with me even though you don't play it otherwise."

What? What? What?? What is happening right now??

Ushijima patiently waits for your answer.

"Uh... Whose idea was it to go to the movie?"

"Nakamura's. Why?"

"And how did she bring up the idea?"

"Well, I was returning from the club and she asked to speak to me in private. And then she told me about the movie and if I wanted to watch it with her."

He didn't get it.

"Ah... Toshi... I'm pretty sure she was asking you out on a date."

His eyes widen with surprise.

"A... date? But she never said she had romantic feelings for me."

Could this mean...? Can I hope...?

"Well, her asking you out on the date was her way of saying it."

"I see. I didn't realise. Thank you for telling me. In that case, I should tell her my feelings for her as well."

He has feelings for her.

Your heart shatters.

You're glad that he walks out right away because you couldn't have stopped your tears from coming out even if you wanted to. You run out of the back door, desperate to get far away.

I guess I was the problem all this time. I just wasn't someone you could look at that way.

You had always known that. You had always known that he didn't feel for you the way you did. But that hadn't stopped you from falling for him. Hard. How could you have not? Eight years of knowing him... You didn't even realise when you fell for him. Loving him just came so naturally to you.

Logically, it makes sense. They make sense. She is beautiful and tall and smart. And so is he. They are the type of couple who would be featured on the cover of a magazine. Which, given their career trajectories, is bound to happen sooner or later.

But the heart doesn't care for logic and at this moment you feel like it will actually burst from the amount of pain you're feeling.

You spend the rest of the evening and the entire night crying in your room.

Morning comes and you feel worse than ever. Your head is throbbing, your nose is stuffy and your eyes are swollen. You decide to skip school. It's the last day before break anyway. Maybe this break will be good for you. It will give you some time to adjust to everything and compose yourself.

You go back to bed and sleep through the entire day.

You thought you'd feel better after getting some rest but you still feel like shit.

You drag yourself out of bed. Your entire body feels like it weighs ten times more.

Maybe a shower and some fresh air will do you good.

You head out.

No matter how much you try to think of something else, your mind keeps coming back to him. Your eyes keep searching for him. You look in the direction of his room. The curtains are open and you can see it is empty.

Of course he's not home yet. He's probably out with her again.

Even though it's barely a minute away, you feel exhausted by the time you reach the park. Thankfully, it is empty.

You sit on one of the swings and look around. Most of your memories with Ushijima are tied to this park. This is where you both have spent the majority of your last eight years together.

All the sweet memories make you tear up again.

"You didn't come to school today."

You were so lost in your head that you didn't realise when he walked up to you. You blink back your tears.

"Oh... hi. Yeah, I - I wasn't feeling very well today," you say, not meeting his eye.

"You seem upset."

He noticed.

"Oh... I'm fine. Really. It's just been a rough day. It's nothing to worry about," you say, still evading his gaze.

He sits on the swing next to you. You look to the side and see he has a volleyball in his lap.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You quickly avert your gaze again.

"No."

"I see. Well, would you like me to distract you? Talk about something else?"

It is getting harder to keep your tears in check. You're sure your voice will crack if you speak. You just nod.

"You would've liked the movie. It wasn't as focused on volleyball as Nakamura said it would-"

Great. He's chosen the worst topic he could have talked about. You don't want to hear about his date. You need to change the topic. Quickly.

"What are you doing here?" you blurt out the one question that has been weighing on your mind ever since he came here.

"What do you mean? I came here to play volleyball with you."

"I- I mean... I thought you would spend your free time with Ho-Hoshiko from now."

"Why would I do that?"

"B- because you're d-dating her?" Your voice cracks.

"I am not dating Nakamura."

What?

"What do you mean you're not dating her? I thought you liked her. Didn't you go on a date with her yesterday?"

"I do like her. Just not romantically. And no, I went to watch the movie with Tendou. She had already bought the tickets so I bought them from her. I wanted to watch it with you but you went home. "

"But... you left to tell her your feelings for her..."

"I did. I wanted to clarify that I only feel for her as a friend. It was only thanks to you that I was able to tell her in time before I ended up hurting her unintentionally."

"I...see..."

Relief floods your heart. You suddenly feel a hundred pounds lighter. You finally gather the courage to look at him. He is looking right back at you.

"Can I ask you something?" you say, your lower lip trembling.

"Of course."

"Do you have romantic feelings for anyone?"

You instantly regret speaking up as soon as the question leaves your mouth. You know he never lies. And if he doesn't feel the same w-

"Yes. You."

You stare at him blankly.

It's subtle but his expression has changed from completely serious to something a little softer. You can't quite place what it is. Is it concern? nervousness? Adoration?

"R-really? You like me? Romantically?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Ah," he rubs his chin, "I'm not sure..."

You're still having difficulty believing that any of this is real.

"You know," he continues, "After my father, you were the first person who ever wanted to play with me."

He points towards the corner of the park. "I was practicing against that wall that day when you came up to me. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember. I can never forget that day."

"So many people have come and gone from my life but you have been with me for so long that, I guess somewhere along the way I just assumed you would stay forever. Which, I now realise, I shouldn't have."

He feels the same. He has always felt the same.

"Toshi?"

He turns to you again.

"I love you."

He breaks into a soft smile.

"I love you too."

Holyshit this was a ride. I'm glad I wrote this and I hope you guys enjoy.

Reblogs appreciated. Please do not steal or repost.

Taglist: @pinkiipeachiikeen @duckymcdoorknob @kakiwrites @ebiharachan @r0binscript I wasn't sure if you guys still want to be tagged for this series, seeing that it has been over two years so let me know if you want me to remove you from the taglist.

Check out THIS POST to know what all characters I have written for in this series.

MASTERLISTS | If you enjoy my work and want to, you can Buy me a Kofi!

#wakatoshi ushijima #ushijima wakatoshi #Haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#ushijima x reader #wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #ushiwaka #jealous series #ushijima headcanons #ushijima imagines #shiratorizawa #hq!!#haikyuu imagines #Ushijima x you

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vaguely-concerned · 1 year

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listen I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore but on this playthrough of DA2 I found myself once more entranced and heartbroken to see hawke reenact their relationship with their mother with the entire cursed city of kirkwall. you can never do enough for leandra, and you can never do enough for kirkwall. leandra is proud of you, and kirkwall uplifts its champion, but no matter how hard you try for them you can't fix everything there that's broken, no one could, and even the fact that anyone would feel the burning responsibility to take that task on is a huge warning sign on its own. leandra will easily allow you to sacrifice yourself on the altar of the family's continued well-being again and again, even when she'll beg you to spare the twins from the same thing. it's such a sad, painfully realistic thing because I truly don't think leandra meant to fuck up her kids, and yet she primed her oldest for an abusive toxic codependent relationship with an entire ongoing dumpster fire of a city state better than she ever could have if she had meant to.

I think what leandra actually, deep down wants from you is something you can never ever give her and that is cruel to ask of anyone, but especially your kid -- to bring her back to a time when she was happy. to reclaim when you were all happy, when nothing was broken that couldn't be fixed, before malcolm died, before you had to leave behind bethany or carver's broken body on the ground. to get her childhood back from where she left it and found it all gone and in ruins when she returned. 'this is all your fault'. this is the tragedy of parenthood sometimes I think, that capacity to define a life: she said that once, in a moment of profound pain, and she probably wouldn't have said it under other circumstances and she apologizes later, but now hawke has to live with that forever. leandra can't bear her own emotions without letting them spill over onto someone else so she won't have to hold the discomfort of them anymore, and hawke is left to shoulder that burden and responsibility again and again, handed the impossible task of making it all okay again, somehow -- of stopping anything bad from ever happening again in the Nr 1 Bad Things Constantly Happening capital of thedas.

and then at the same time there's the mirror of how varric's whole family wants orzammar back (and to him orzammar is just a ghost he's seen in their eyes -- there's something in his voice when he says 'That stupid plate was the whole city of Orzammar to him' that gets me every time, how much he understands that he doesn't understand and how lonely that makes him among them, and on top of it all he's frustrated and ashamed and sad that he just doesn't get it and can't meet them on it -- like it's a betrayal that he actually belongs up here, when varric wants so badly to be loyal), just as the hawkes want happiness back. (I don't think it's Lothering in itself that longing is for, it's for being together. Lothering was just the place they stayed the longest.) they're all in exile, even as they try to make a new home out of that exile.

(varric and hawke's real 🤝 quality across all personalities, affinities and choices is 'parentified child' lmao. so much of varric's character makes perfect sense once you know he grew up supporting a mother who was an emotionally volatile alcoholic, honestly. between varric, the hawkes, isabela, seb if you have him and merrill's whole Situation with marethari I feel like DA2 covertly is to mommy issues what ME2 is to daddy issues fjsdjfa)

basically I think I'm trying to pick apart exactly why the fact that leandra is clearly proud of hawke and tells them so several times doesn't feel like it helps at all, almost feels more like a cage even though it's clearly meant well? and what I'm getting is that it's because my sense of what hawke actually needs, in general but especially from a parent, isn't admiration or approval but to be loved and supported and understood. I don't believe leandra ever quite understands them, and it scares her because it makes her think she maybe never even understood malcolm. (that's the subtext of a lot of what leandra will say about him in legacy, at least. he's slipping away from her as the years pass after his death and she fears she never really had him in the first place, if he had secrets like these.) she consistently treats her oldest more like a partner or peer than as her child, which considering hawke is always described as being very similar to their father… I mean I totally see how that could be easy to slip into for her after he died especially, but it doesn't make it any less fucked up or unfair.

the real leandra in legacy is. she is SO absurdly self-centered, if you really pay attention. I don't want to keep dunking on her because I don't think she's like this on purpose, but it boggles my mind. if you do the quest in act 1 she gets so upset and overwhelmed that the kids just sort of sit there like :( at the end, which adds to the trend that through the game you constantly see hawke comforting leandra, and you pretty much never see leandra comforting hawke, beyond some light vaguely encouraging comments in passing. if you do legacy in act 2 while she's still alive hawke comes to her, tentatively asking if malcolm ever spoke to her about any of it -- clearly requesting some sort of emotional support or help to make sense of it. she then expresses her side of it, but never once does she say anything to the effect of 'hey that was a lot to go through, are you okay after all that?'.

instead she essentially hands them the responsibility of having a good life, to repay what malcolm did for all of them. and in theory that's not the worst takeaway I suppose, malcolm probably would want them all to be happy, but in the moment it only feels like more expectation heaped upon you somehow? especially since you don't really get to express anything about how it made you feel before she goes to the 'ah no use complaining' zone (after SHE got to express her grief at feeling like she's losing more and more of that old life, and hawke barely got to say anything fhsfalkjfs). in general she really doesn't do much like. parenting, does she haha. there is so much love there in that relationship, and yet so little comfort. Oh, those days. All of us, in that simple place. Well, that's neither here nor there, is it. This life, we have to make the best of it. And thanks to you, and him, I will. Oh well, mum, I'm uh. I'm glad you feel better after that, at least. Nice to be of service.

it's varric's ghost-leandra who actually acknowledges what a burden hawke has taken on, that shows an understanding of why they're doing it, acknowledges the loss they've been through and also reassures them in their sense of belonging that still can't be taken from them, despite it all -- The best of him is still with you. The best of all of us. It's what makes you try so hard. You'll always have that. We'll always be family. (you can't take 'loved' away, huh.) you get a bit more of a reconciliation/reconnection between hawke and their dad's memory by being reminded he got like this too, you know (implicitly you're not alone). varric through leandra is the one who tells them what they probably would have wanted and needed to hear from a parent right then -- It's going to be alright. that's what Hawke, The Champion means to everyone else, and for once they get to be the one to hear it. except only in a kind dream that never really happened. I. it. hmmmmmm. crushing. that is crushing. but also so incredibly tender from varric's side, and so moving to me that he's seen all this stuff and so desperately wants to give them that comfort. anyway DA2 is about love in some of the realest and thus messiest and most human ways I've ever seen and it makes my brain go wild it's my favorite game of all time goodnight

#I don't even know what I'm saying anymore folks please just. accept this. it makes no sense/compels me though etc.#dragon age meta #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #leandra amell #honestly someone should do an analysis of the mother figures of DA2 because oh BOY something is up here #elthina and all her talk of the chantry as a 'gentle mother' very much included #as I believe terry pratchett once wrote:#That's Nature for you in a nutshell. Always dealing off the bottom of the pack. No wonder they called her a mother.

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stealingyourbones · 1 year

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Hey Bones, I saw your thing about a Bat family member becoming a ghost and it reminded me of a very heart breaking au a friend and I came up with a while back that I don't remember if I submitted or not. Either way, be prepared to have your heart broken.

Tim is dead. He's been dead for a while actually. But No one seems to have noticed. He looks and feels just as solid as he did before he died, even if he's got a lower body temperature and doesn't seem to get hurt on patrol beyond bumps and bruises. Never anything that would land him in med Bay, never anything that would make his family check on him.

No one has noticed the way he doesn't eat anymore, or the fact he doesn't sleep. He's extended his patrol hours and cut back on time at Wayne Enterprises. He's pretty sure not even Alfred noticed. He knows the Kryptonians aren't worried about him not having a heart beat and they have no reason to tell anyone. They know he has a special device that can hide him from their senses and tests it on Kon a lot to make him focus on spacial awareness beyond his hearing. He used it a lot before he died. They just think he hasn't turned it off in a while.

Tim remembers how he died. Not fully, but there are pieces. He remembers he was fighting someone on a bridge and he didn't call for back up because he thought he could handle it. He doesn't remember who he thought he could handle. He remembers something stinging his arm. A bug? No a bug couldn't bite through Kevlar, it was a needle. Then everything started going dark and he was stumbling back. His back hit something hard and he tiped over it. He thought he could land on the other side. He remembers wondering why his suit felt so damp and heavy as the world went black around him.

Tim's body is still at the bottom of the bay where it will likely stay forever with so, so many other bodies. It makes Tim wonder, why him? Why not everyone else who ended up down there? Why not everyone who has died in Gothem? Did he come back like Jason did, is it something to do with being a vigilante? Tim checks his own pulse again while he's alone. Yep. Still dead. He continues on his patrol and tries to shove those thoughts away.

So what if Tim's dead? He's still here and he still has work to do. His family is full of detectives. If they can't figure out that something as important as death has happened to one of their own? Well then Tim thinks they need to pay more attention. He ignores the pain that curls in the back of his mind at that thought.

It's been 6 months. Why hasn't anyone noticed? Tim can't help but wonder if they ever will.

Howdy its me @bonebrokebuddy answering. I'm Twone's (twin bones) twin who is helping answer asks because this fucker has like, over 100 of them in her ask box and I help her with making prompt ideas frequently so she trusts me to not horribly fuck up her account.

This is my first answer for her I've written because I had my screen on low brightness and on darkmode, so your profile jump scared the shit out of me when I scrolled past it. Therefore im answering this one first.

Anywho, from my chronic inability to write angst here goes: Tim died, came back and none of the Bats seemed to care. So what? It's not like his best friends hadn't done the same thing. And he was tired and sick of the Bats thinking his entire life revolved around them.

So he packed up his bags and headed to Kansas.

The Bats might not be worried but neither was Kon or Bart. They're actually thrilled after getting over their initial grief that Tim now has also personally experienced death and came back. The funeral was a rather small, breif, and quiet afar. Kon made sure to help locate Tim's corpse and Bart helped with the eulogy (surprisingly heartfelt and moved them all to tears.)

Sure, they're sad that Tim died but he's right in front of them, it's a little more difficult to morn when you've been laughing at said dead guy who got stuck halfway through phasing out of the wall. And now Tim can keep track with them!

Kon is a little pissed that Tim can now go intangible and escape his TTK so he can't take away Tim's coffee anymore. But it's kinda worth it. The first time he took Rob on his favorite flight path, he's never wanted anything else than to hear Tim's breathless laugh and see his frighteningly perfect smile again. They now often go on flights together, high above the clouds with no-one else but them for thousands of miles around. (it almost felt like a date)

Bart knew this would happen one day. He was from the future, of course he knew that Tim Drake, formerly Red Robin, died at age 19 and changed his alias to The Grey Ghost. It doesn't mean that Bart doesn't morn the passing of his friend. Tim means a lot to him and the brief guilt that he did not stop Tim's death also quickly passes. He can finally show Tim that hiding space in the walls that no one else can get to without phasing through the wall! One other thing. Bart is unsure if Kon has noticed yet, which he knows Kon isn't the most observant of the old young justice crew but he has to have noticed it by now. Ever since Tim left Gotham he's developed an insane appetite despite claiming that he didn't need to eat while in Gotham and also being dead so why does he need to eat? (Unknown to Bart, Kansas doesn't have as much ambient ectoplasm as Gotham and Tim is starting to experience the withdraw symptoms. If the trio don't realize how to fix Tim's worsening symptoms soon, Tim might actually die for good this time.)

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny phantom #seersnake #ones replies #twones replies #bones replies #dont worry ill make the tagging system confusing quICK #I POSTED IT BEFORE IT WAS DONE FUCK #okay fixed it.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for blocking my business partner and our mutual friends?

First of all, I want to establish that I'm not an idiot. I don't think I'm the smartest person in the world, I didn't do very well in school, and I'm generally a bit forgetful. I've been struggling with undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergency for my entire life. My family growing up was very anti therapy and I've only recently brought anything up to a doctor. However, I like to think I manage myself pretty well. I have my own systems for doing things, and they may be unconventional, but it works. I've come to terms with the fact that no matter what I do, I'm going to have to work a lot harder than the average person and get a lot less credit. That's just how it is. I have two jobs, one of which is at a restaurant, and the other is a business that I started with my friend. It's still fairly small and local, but I'm really proud of how far it's come.

Me and my business partner, we'll call her Shelly, have a group of friends that we hang out with from time to time. I honestly don't like them very much, but Shelly, who has been my best friend for over a decade really enjoys hanging out with them, so though I've expressed to her that I want to start seeing them less, I've stayed friends with them, both to make Shelly happy and to avoid any drama that might be caused.

Among this group of friends is someone we'll call Dianne. Dianne will insult and berate me consistently, and then insist it was a joke. Nobody has ever laughed, and I have told Dianne that I don't find any of it funny. The other members of the friend group (aside from Shelly) said that this is just how she expresses that she likes somebody, and tried to make it seem like playful banter, but the insults are incredibly one-sided (I've never said an ill word about her to any of them, and especially not to her. I'm not rude.) and she never insults anyone but me and sometimes Shelly.

Recently ( a couple months or so ago) she started taking digs at my intelligence, as I have been a few minutes late to a couple of our hangouts, and I have trouble with my left and right. I said explicitly that I don't like it when people treat me like an idiot. I tried to be polite, but I won't stand for that. Also, being late and directions are very common things for people to struggle with, so I don't understand why that insinuates that I'm at all unintelligent. She also may have gotten this idea because I don't tend to laugh at her jokes, which are mostly things like "that's what she said" and other cheap and immature sex jokes. She usually tries to brush off the fact that I don't laugh by saying I must be dumb because I don't get her jokes. I do, they're just not very clever and I clearly have a different sense of humor than her.

I just kept trying to avoid any sort of conflict, because the rest of the group makes Shelly really happy. But then it started to get worse. The whole group seemed to be influenced by these jokes, and stopped expecting me to be able to do anything. I wasn't even the designated driver anymore, even though I'm usually the obvious choice because I don't drink. Dianne told me I'd probably crash because she didn't think I could read street signs. I've driven her home multiple times (during none of which she's been sober enough to remember my driving ability) and I've never driven at all irresponsibly while any of them were in the car. The whole group, aside from Shelly, began making jokes about how I was the resident airhead. For my birthday, Dianne got me a toddler sippy cup, and a card that said "Congrats, you're 2!". Get it. Because I'm so stupid I'm basically a child. Ha ha. So funny I forgot to laugh.

The last straw for me was when Shelly sent me a business email that was like "Are you going to be able to get the books done in time?" and basically told me to make sure I wasn't lazy when it came to keeping track of the sales, even though I've never been late with that kind of stuff. I really care about our business, and I keep track of all of the financials and do our taxes. I don't have a degree or anything, I could never afford college, so I emailed Shelly back very passive-agressively about how if she doesn't think I can do it in time, she can hire a real accountant.

We met with the friendgroup the next day and I was incredibly pissed. Dianne made another dig at me, something about our business probably going under because I'm too incompetent to do anything. I snapped. In the midst of yelling at her, I said "I am not stupid. You don't get to treat me like I am." and she said "But aren't you, though?" and I stormed out. I blocked everyone, except for Shelly.

I texted Shelly and said that she could be friends with whoever she wants, but that I'm never speaking to any of them ever again. Shelly said that I was being overdramatic, and that they're all being awkward to her now because they know that we're such good friends. I apologized for putting her in a position where she felt like she was in the middle, but told her that I was not about to take any more of that treatment. I told her I'm disappointed that after all this time, she let other people dictate the way that she sees me. When her new friends call me stupid, I can let it slide off of my back, but when my best friend of over a decade starts treating me like I'm incompetent and I can't get anything done, that really hurts. She told me that I need to learn to take a joke. I blocked her too after that. We've continued having meetings and being mostly civil, but we haven't spoken outside of that, and all the friendship is gone.

I'm mostly concerned about how this situation is going to affect our business, because I have worked so hard and I'd hate to see it fail because of petty drama and insults. I'm now feeling like I made a huge mistake by blowing up. Should I have just kept quiet to protect my job and friendship?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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thevirgodoll · 16 days

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when you decide to love yourself more, you pick up the pieces you thought they left and just move tf on with your life. you take those pieces and do some heart surgery. this may be the first person, the tenth person, or the fiftieth that has hurt you and shattered you. but it's far more worth it to reconstruct your heart to be whole again than to let someone who didn't even have half of a heart when they met you steal yours and walk around with it as their own.

it's dramatic, but you have to decide that your life is literally on the line. people lose their minds trying to figure out why someone lied to them and why they're gone. heartbreak (from an ex, a friend, a family member, etc) can literally kill you. the light in your eyes is now a poor excuse for a fire that can barely spark. your appetite doesn't even exist and left a pit in your stomach. your soul is tied to all of the limiting beliefs they brought with them and now, in your unwillingness to see them for who they are, YOU have adopted their same cadence, mindset, and loathing.

i think subconsciously we sit in pity just to feel closer to the person that we couldn't quite "fix" or the person we always say "if they could've just...if i could've gotten them to see XYZ about themselves" or "what if". IF THIS OR THAT.

you can recognize you're in the trenches with them because you really loved them, but you cannot STAY there. this isn't you. in your reality, you are LOVED. you are WHOLE. you are WORTHY.

i don't even think it's the fact other people don't see it. i think they do, and because they see it that means they'll have to live with just as much integrity as you do. they'll have to step outside of their comfort zone and finally measure up to this new person they have around them. and they can't...so they sabotage. but that's the thing. THEY made that decision. so stop suffering on their behalf and let them lay in the bed they made.

and i know you're like, easier said than done??? trust me. one day, you wake up and it doesn't hurt at all. one day, you stop waiting for them to come back. it's like a switch. what am i waiting on someone else for? why would i want someone to decide that they love me? pfft.. literally with those questions, i regain my common sense and detach. it's over, it's done. it's like they never existed.

give them a mental funeral with their flowers for what they DID do that you were able to appreciate - if anything - and look back on the entire thing as an experience you needed to push you in a different direction. stop wishing things were different and start creating a better story. literally, just tell yourself this isn't real and that they passed away.

genuinely believe that sometimes we need somebody to fumble as a wake-up call. take that time out, recoup, and write a new story where none of this shit ever happened. and never let anyone have the option to shift YOUR world like that ever again. i mean it.

#I don’t know where this came from #thoughts #note to self #law of assumption #mindset #healing #recovery #mental health #relationships #heartbreak #feelings #late night thoughts #writeblr #writers on tumblr

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reiderwriter · 6 months

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Thoughts on unsub spencer reid fics?

Hi! I'm not sure if you wanted more of a general answer or meant this as a headcanon or gen request, so I'm just going to go purely on vibes and answer this as a question.

Spencer as an Unsub - Thoughts

Disclaimer: Anything negative said here is absolutely not an insult towards any specific writer or fic. I don't really read unsub Reid fics, due to facts I'm about to get into, so I'm really not knowledgeable enough to be throwing shade 💀 This is personal opinion!

I personally would need a lot of convincing to believe in an "unsub" Spencer Reid.

In Criminal Minds, it's clear from very early into the show that Spencer is very empathetic with certain unsubs. The entire team have their own types of cases that they get more personally involved in (Morgan and cases involving child victims, JJ and apparent suicides, Emily and quote unquote battered women cases) but Spencer is the only one whose personal attachment to cases leaves him empathising with the unsub instead of the victim.

He's the only member of the team who could have seen himself committing violent acts the way unsubs do had his life veered down a different path. And, based on Spencer's background and the psychology of the show, he's probably right to be concerned.

He's a white male, at the peak of the show in his mid to late thirties, with a background of abuse and a family history of mental illness. By season four, we know he's highly skilled with a gun, and by season 12/13, we see that he can be pushed to violence when he is at the very edge of his limitations.

And then they make his character so intrinsically moral that you never question him ever again.

To a certain extent, Criminal Minds is about the perpetual cycles of abuse that human kind can inflict upon itself. Many of the unsubs were once victims, some of them perhaps still are. The heroes of the story are characters who have been able to break the cycle.

Spencer is neglected as a child. He has an absent father abandon him, a mother with schizophrenia who does physically beat him when she is having an episode. He is bullied heavily in school for his high IQ and his lack of social skills. But he is shown to deeply care for him mother and empathise with her deeply instead of coming to resent her like many of the unsubs in that situation. He resents his father, for sure, but instead turns that resentment into drive, leading him to "just keep getting more PhDs." And his personal experiences with bullying allow him to empathise with the unsubs that have gone through similar circumstances.

So I don't think canonically, Spencer is ever in danger of becoming an unsub. He deeply cares about the world and the people around him, and whilst he does have a kill count on the show, he either expresses deep remorse at having to oull the trigger, or it is in the best interest for everyone involved.

Basically, all that to say: I think Unsub Spencer Reid in fanfiction has to be written incredibly carefully, or it runs the risk of being very out of character. To be clear, I'm not too bothered about characters being slightly out of character in fics because it happens. I've probably written a lot of stuff where Spencer is OOC, too. And that's fine.

I do kind of draw the line at grabbing random unsub traits from the show and giving them to Spencer for a fic. For example, Spencer would never end up as a sexual sadist. He probably wouldn't be a spree killer, either. Not that anyone wants my writing advice, but if you're writing an unsub Spencer fic, think about his background and the profiles they generally give for the kind of signature/ crimes you're about to give him.

If this was a request, I apologise for the misunderstanding. But here's a little hint at what I might do with a general "unsub Reid" request.

☆ It would most likely take place after the events of Season 12/13.

☆ It's angst or nothing.

☆ The basic plot: Reid's headaches come back after taking a blow in the field. He tries seeking help for it but can't find any relief. On his next case, because of his chronic pain, he makes a mistake that gets his teammate, the reader, shot. The unsub escapes, but the reader falls into a coma. When it looks like reader is not going to pull through, he tracks down the unsub and beats his to death after a brawl. Massive overkill. The reader pulls through that night, and he feels no guilt for getting that monster off the street. But each time the readers health takes a turn, or they require a new surgery, he is compelled to go back out there and track down and kill another serial killer until the reader finally wakes up.

☆ I don't think it'd be very well received because there would be no morally grey smut. This is some tragic angst shit only, lmao.

☆ please don't put a request for this in my inbox. If I feel like writing it later, I might, I don't have the brain power right now, though 💀

That's all I've got right now, but I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on unsub Reid :)

#spencer reid #criminal minds #reiderreplies #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid request #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction

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qqueenofhades · 11 months

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Do you think Barack Obama was a good president?

For the most part, yes. The fact that he got elected in the first place (and in a landslide) was nothing short of miraculous, but those of you on the younger side don't remember just how FUCKING FED UP the entire country was with Dubya and his bullshit. It didn't really matter if you were Democrat or Republican. Everyone hated him, especially when he went out in 2008 by causing a generational economy-crashing cataclysm. For him to go from a 91%+ approval rating just after 9/11, to the low 20s by the time he left office, shows just how sick and tired everyone was with him, and how we fondly (ha) imagined that he would be the worst American president in our lifetime. How very innocent we were.

The fact that Obama, a black guy with the middle name Hussein, who had not even a full term as a US senator as his only real meaningful political experience, could come in there and win is a feeling that honestly is nothing like anything anyone had experienced in politics before. I remember staying up with my family (I was studying abroad in the UK) over phone/Skype until the race was called for Obama around 3am, and one of my classmates ran outside the flat in delirium yelling "OBAMA WON!!!" The pictures of elderly African-Americans just crying their eyes out on that night, and the way they still look at Barack and Michelle now, is special. Yes, of course the reality didn't totally live up to the promise of that moment, but man, for a little while there, it really felt like we had changed the entire paradigms on which this stupid flawed country had been built from the beginning. I can't imagine we'll feel like that again for a long, long time.

Obama managing to save the economy (as noted before, it's a theme that Democratic presidents have to come in and clean up the ungodly mess left by Republicans) and pass the Affordable Care Act, even as watered-down as it was from what he wanted, were two very significant accomplishments. Where he fell short, however, was in his dealings with said Republicans, and obviously not all of this was his fault. Obama was intensely conscious of his position as a political newcomer AND that he was a black guy. The level of racism, vitriol, and sheer ugliness that he (and his family) faced from all quarters was (and is) yeah. We got the Tea Party, the "birthers," and the rest of the radical-right lunatics out in full force, and Obama was aware that he was going to get blamed for everything and then some. He also wanted to think that the Republicans would throw a hissy fit and then get over it and work with him. They didn't. Not for one single day. Not on anything. Just because he was a Democratic black guy. That was all it took, and they stuck to it even as Obama kept reaching for the football and thinking that THIS time, surely they would be reasonable. They weren't. On anything. Ever.

Likewise, the Democrats were caught unprepared by the special election for Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts senate seat, which they lost (taking them from a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority to 59, after which the Republicans accordingly filibustered everything and the Democrats didn't push hard enough to stop them/change the rules). They also seemed to just assume that hey, the country voted for Obama in 2008, they'd clearly do it again in 2010, and they didn't really hype up the ACA or campaign for it or anything like that. So they got shellacked to the tune of 60+ House seats lost in 2010, and then lost the Senate in 2014, allowing Mitch McConnell to flat-out blockade Merrick Garland's SCOTUS nomination (who Obama picked to fill Antonin Scalia's seat) and get away with it. Obama was also not nearly as assertive about nominating judges as Biden has been, though it's also the case that Trump hadn't yet packed the benches with an endless conveyor belt of unqualified uber-conservative hacks. Once again, I think this is a reflection of Obama's overall political inexperience and the fact that he felt he had to "play nice" or get pigeonholed as the "angry black guy," which he then did anyway. So it really was a catch-22.

Online Leftists always like to yelp about "Obama ordering a lot of drone strikes!!!", as if they a) know anything else about American foreign policy, b) are at all interested in criticizing Trump for using EVEN MORE (by like... a lot, and nearly starting WWIII when he killed the Iranian general with one), or c) ever consider the overall ungodly fucking mess that Obama was ALSO left with in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm not about to defend or agree with that either, but it's disingenuous (as per usual with them) to suggest that that was the only thing Obama did during his presidency and/or that he should be judged on that alone. They also like to pretend that he faced no racism at all, that he could have just "codified Roe vs. Wade and didn't!", that there were no double standards in how he was treated by the press, the political establishment, and the American people, and so on.

So: overall, yes, I think Obama had good intentions and tried to do the right thing. He failed at certain major parts of that, both because of the Republicans and because he didn't have the experience to challenge them or know how to work around them, and because he was in an utterly impossible position. The intense white backlash that gave rise to Trump showed that contrary to what anyone liked to think about Obama's election heralding a "post-racial" era, it was back and more ugly and public than it had been in a long time. It was also surprising that our first black president was a Democrat, and not a Republican shill like Tim Scott and/or Clarence Thomas, who has been allowed to rise in the party only because he faithfully repeats all the maxims of the (white) GOP ruling class. So the sheer strength of Obama Derangement Syndrome, which persists today, has to figure into any appraisals of either what he did or what he could have reasonably been expected to accomplish, and I don't think people get that.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

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evilbihan · 4 months

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Debunking ridiculous arguments from Bi-Han haters

Bi-Han's one and only mistake was breaking his oath to protect Earthrealm. A lot of people like to jump to conclusions about him and make up the silliest excuses to justify hating on him, so I'm here to provide some much needed facts in these trying times.

"But he wanted to benefit from the soul stealer's magic that would have killed millions!"

Yes, because his loyalty is to the Lin Kuei, not Earthrealm. In his mind, he's doing what needs to be done to protect his own clan and make it stronger, even if that demands sacrifices. A good leader puts his own people first and that is essentially what he does. For Bi-Han, the end justifies the means. His cause in and of itself is not a malicious one. He cares about his clan. Part of the reason why he wants power is to protect the Lin Kuei from other threats.

Think about it, they defended Earthrealm for generations, not a single Lin Kuei has ever lived a normal life. They begin their training as children and are forced to live secluded and lonely lives. No one even acknowledges that and shows them gratitude or respect. All Bi-Han wants is for them to receive recognition for everything the clan has done. He wants the Lin Kuei to be independent, for his own people to benefit from the sacrifices they made for once. He's not some tyrant obsessed with power, he doesn't want to conquer all of Earthrealm, only for the Lin Kuei to be recognized as one of its nations as stated in his official bio.

Spoilers ahead: According to story dlc leaks, even Liu Kang admits that there's nothing wrong with Bi-Han's ambitions, just the methods he chooses to achieve his goals. What more do you need than the literal creator of the timeline confirming that Bi-Han is not "evil"?

At the end of the day, Bi-Han himself would not have killed anyone. The soul stealers belonged to Shang Tsung and Quan Chi. He never even made use of them to begin with.

If this is where the bar for being evil is at, we would have to start calling other characters evil too.

I don't know how many residents Vaeternus has, but I don't see anyone faulting Ashrah for making it her mission to kill all Vaeternians for her own purification. Absolutely no hate towards Ashrah, she's one of my favorite characters in the game, but she's using questionable methods to achieve her goals too, yet she's perceived as a "good" character because she's protecting Earthrealm. Are Earthrealmers somehow worth more than Vaeternians? I don't think so. What about Rain who flooeded an entire realm and doesn't face nearly as much backlash? Make it make sense.

"Bi-Han hates Smoke and tried to kill him."

Wrong. I already wrote an in depth analysis of the brothers' relationship here and I'm not going to repeat myself in this post, but I will add upon what we previously established. Bi-Han never once said he doesn't consider Smoke his brother, just that he doesn't consider him Lin Kuei, which is a subtle, but huge difference. In any of their intros, whenever Smoke refers to Bi-Han's biological parents as "mother" and "father", Bi-Han never tells him they are not his parents or that Tomas has no right to call them that. Yes, he doesn't call Smoke brother directly, but that's because they seemed to never have been close. Bi-Han's distrust towards Tomas is entirely justified, considering that Smoke's family died at the hands of Lin Kuei warriors. As grandmaster, it's his duty to keep an eye out for outside as well as inside threats and he might have considered Smoke one.

Additionally, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Bi-Han disliking Tomas. He doesn't owe him anything. People are allowed to dislike each other. He was a young boy when Smoke was taken in by his parents. Maybe he saw Tomas as another competitor for their attention, specifically his father's attention. Bi-Han being cold with Tomas doesn't make him toxic or abusive. He might have just never felt comfortable around Smoke, given the circumstances of how he became part of the Lin Kuei and that's why he was cold and kept his guard up around him. Every individual also has a different definition of family.

Family are the people you feel safe around, the people you trust and get along with, the people you want to surround yourself with. Siblings don't always get along and that's okay. Some don't talk in years after moving out of their family home. I'm fairly sure we all have that one relative we just don't vibe with or even cut ties with entirely. Two people just not getting along and therefore being distant with each other isn't toxic, forcing people to like someone because "they're supposed to be your family" is toxic.

As for the rock scene, I already talked about it in the post I linked above. I will just briefly say, Bi-Han did NOT kick that rock onto Smoke, it would have been impossible for him to do so and he was just as concerned in that moment as Kuai Liang was. I included the slow-motion gif of the scene here too, so you can see the proof for yourself.

See that surprise and shock in his eyes? He did not kick that rock intentionally.

"Bi-Han let his father die!"

I elaborated on this here but I will add a second explanation that is less headcanon territory.

Smoke lost his family due to Lin Kuei members not following orders, a mistake that was ultimately the fault of Bi-Han's and Kuai Liang's father. Even if the old grandmaster took responsibility for it and adopted Tomas, he is still at fault for Smoke being orphaned. Bi-Han witnessed his father's mistake and saw it as "weak leadership" on his father's side, weakness that caused the death of innocent people and a stain of shame on the clan. His mind about his father was probably already made up at that point. However, if he was truly evil and wanted his father dead, he could have killed the old grandmaster himself. We've seen how impatient Bi-Han is, he wouldn't have waited for his father to have an accident or succumb to old age. I think there's a part of him that lives with guilt and regret over letting his father die. The scene where he says "... and I was right to let him die." sounds like he's trying to justify his actions to himself, not to Kuai Liang. He also sounds hurt and angry when Johnny mentions his father in one of their intros together. I think there's a lot to unpack here but the story mode and intros don't really tell us enough.

Surely, part of the reason why Bi-Han didn't save his father was because he wanted to take control of the clan himself, but not for the selfish reasons people accuse him of. Bi-Han has the Lin Kuei's best interests at heart. He's certainly not entirely selfless but he was willing to share his power with Kuai Liang and in his taunts it's always "Kneel before us" not "before me". He always emphasizes on how the Lin Kuei will rule part of Earthrealm, not just him. His motivations are far deeper than just wanting power and so were his reasons to not help his father.

"He started the Cyber initiative!"

I don't see how the cyber initiative is a negative thing in the new timeline, given that they're just suits of armor made by Sektor that the Lin Kuei put on when they fight. No one is being cyberized against their will or otherwise tortured. No one has to die for the cyber initiative. I guess people have a negative association with it due to the old lore but that no longer applies.

I keep seeing people say "They turned him into Sektor" but that is far from true. Sektor was much more ruthless, going as far as to force his own clan members to become cyborgs and killing his own father to become grandmaster himself.

That is how a man who only cares about power would act and it's not how Bi-Han is acting.

"He scarred Kuai Liang."

Again, something I wrote a detailed analysis of already in the post I've linked above. He did scar his brother, but Kuai Liang was not only the first one to draw blood, but also attempted to kill Bi-Han in his rage.

No matter which brother's side you're on, you can't argue with the fact that they both have hit their lowest low the second they decided to shed each other's blood. Both are willing to kill each other. One brother wanted to violently beat the other's face in and the other one scarred his brother for life. You can't fault one for his actions and not the other. It would be wrong and hypocritical. I'd call them even.

In conclusion, the majority of reasons that people claim to dislike Bi-Han for don't even make sense and are absolutely baseless. They contradict any existing canon material and it's embarrassing how desperately people want to dehumanize Bi-Han and make him into some sort of horrible villian, which he canonically isn't and never was. At the end of the day, you can try and twist the narrative to match your opinions, but that doesn't change canon facts. You can claim that grass isn't green. That's not going to make the grass any less green though.

I see other Bi-Han fans trying to defend Bi-Han and argue back to those hating on him, but honestly, his actions don't even need defending. His reasons and motivations and the depth of his character are obvious enough in my opinion. People who call him a "joke villain" didn't understand his character at all and you can't reason with someone if they're being ignorant and refuse to see past their own bias.

To those who dislike him, here's an idea. Block the "Bi-Han" tag instead of flooding it with bad takes. Why bring unnecessary negativity to the community all while being wrong at the same time? No one needs that.

I might make a part 2, but I think all that needed saying was said in this post and the one I've pinned at the top of my blog already.

#bi han #bi han sub zero #mk bi han #mk sub zero #bi-han #gif warning #kuai liang #mk scorpion #tomas vrbada #mk smoke #mk1 2023 #mortal kombat 1

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transmasczeroone · 5 months

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On coming out as trans:

I live in a very middle-class, Christian, conservative area, so I was bracing myself for the worst when I decided to come out publically to my co-workers and customers. (I work in a restaurant/bar that attracts a particular demographic: Imagine middle-aged ladies coming to brunch, older men coming for a pint after work, families bringing their children and dogs, most of them white, wealthy, and cishet. For context, I'm also 5 ft 4, and pre-everything, with a gender neutral name that leans towards the girly side, at least in my country.)

The first co-worker I came out to was a low-level supervisor, a gay cis guy in his 20s. He was a bit confused at first, had to ask a lot of questions to understand exactly what was changing, but ever since then he has been unconditionally supportive. He volunteered to tell the other managers that I'm trans, so I didn't need to go through the stress of that conversation multiple times.

The rest of the managers/supervisors (all cishet) at some point or another said that I can go to them if customers or other staff bother me (which hasn't happened at all), and all get my pronouns right most of the time, and are quick to correct themselves when they don't. They even go out of their way to use affirming language - one of my co-workers realised one day that that were no women on shift at the time, turned to me and said something about it being a boys' club and included me in that category. They celebrate my small wins, and the big ones, everything from "nice haircut!" to "ohmygod you're going on testosterone soon?? I'm so happy for you!!"

One of the managers - a cishet woman in her 50s, and the one I expected to have the worst reaction - asked a lot of questions to better understand me and offered to introduce me to her friend, who is also a trans man. This is a big deal to me, because I don't know any other trans men in my area. According to my co-workers, she's better at getting my pronouns right than almost anyone else.

Another cishet guy I work with is in his 60s had to ask what my he/him badge meant when he first saw it, and now he always makes a point of getting my pronouns right, especially in front of other people who she/her me based on my appearance or who need a reminder.

The male customers I serve on the bar tend to ask what the badge means (although some prefer to stare at it in confusion and not comment at all). My usual response is, "It's to remind people that I'm not a girl, since a lot of people think I am," which omits a huge chunk of the truth, but isn't a lie. I've never had a bad response, though.

When I explain, they often say, "Wow, I never would have guessed you were a man" (ouch, dysphoria) and apologise genuinely and quite profusely for calling me "she" or "sweetheart" or whatever earlier in the interaction. They're eager to assure me that they meant no disrespect. Some even notice the badge and apologise without having to ask what it means. Nobody contradicts me, nobody is sarcastic or thinks I'm joking, and nobody has ever said anything transphobic to me or asked invasive questions. Some get confused and sort of gloss over my explanation, but nobody has been hateful. Sometimes they seem to accept me as a cis guy, other times they're clearly aware that I'm trans, but it doesn't affect their response either way.

The worst thing I've encountered is customers who see the he/him badge, blatantly ignore it, and then misgender me throughout the interaction. Not ideal, of course, but far better than what I was expecting.

This entire experience has reminded me of a time I read in a comment somewhere that transphobes are a very vocal minority, that transphobia feels like it's ramping up recently because transphobes know they're losing the war and are screaming in a desperate attempt to be taken seriously. They're scared that all their fearmongering and hatred is, in fact, getting them nowhere. Maybe there's some truth to that.

As I said before, I live in a conservative, middle-class area, and there are no queer bars, bookshops, etc. for miles and miles, but there are at least 3 churches within a 15 minute walk of my house. And in the 5 months I've been out publically, the worst transphobia I've faced from a co-worker or stranger is just them not using my pronouns until corrected.

I'm not saying don't be careful when you come out. I'm not saying that things always go well. Sometimes they go awfully, and I've had my own bad experiences.

What I am saying is that my faith in cis people has been restored to quite an astonishing degree, that sometimes people can surprise you in wonderful ways, that there are people out there willing to accept and respect us, and sometimes you find them where you least expect them.

#transition #coming out #trans #transgender #transmasc #trans man #trans boy #trans guy #ftm #zero.text #transmasculine

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yan-lorkai · 23 days

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This isn't a request just a fun thought.

Imagine that Sebby threatened his darling by saying that he would kill darling's family or people close to them because they misbehaved and darling looks at him skeptically and says: "I don't think that's possible...I'm an orphan and an introvert, the only creature closest to me is my cat." And then darling panics

"Please don't kill my cat!"

(😂I'm kinda curious about his reaction lol)

The way I started laughing when I imagined his reaction 🤣🤣

He would be so shocke that you think he would kill a cat. A beautiful little cat who may or may not scratch him because it realized its owner is nervous and want to defend them lmao

Ok here u go a very little drabble, darling!

"I will kill your parents, your friends. Is that what you want, darling?" He asks dangerously, evil smile displayed on his handsome face as he looked at his darling, hoping to see you shivering and frightened. Instead you look at him with uncertainty.

"I don't have anyone, I'm an orphan, plus I'm not good at this whole communication thing so I don't really have any friends." You almost want to laugh, feeling a little triumph over this little win. You have to commemorate every little win, as usually Sebastian is the winner in any and all little fights you have. Not this time. Though your smugness melt the moment you cat enter the bedroom, lazily searching for a spot to take a nap. You both look at the cat for different reasons.

Sebastian adores felines and has a bad tendencie to want to hold and pet it everytime he see your cat. You though reach out for your cat before he can even touch it, afraid for it. You were the one who misbehaved and you should be the one punished, not your cat. Your cat would be safe, always. The little bundle of joy and energy meowed loudly at you. You stared at Sebastian, frowning.

"You ain't gonna hurt my baby. No way, I'II find a way to exorcise you or something if you try." There's a urgency rolling from your tongue and making its way to your entire body, panic starting to settling in. And contrary to what you thought Sebastian would do, he laughs, he doubles over with laughter, using the bench as a way to steady himself.

A very long minute goes by before he pulls himself together. "I would never hurt this lovely creature, look at it. Those cute whiskers, the little eyes, the way the tail wags. Though I'm quite offended you think so low of me, darling."

You stare at him as if he suddenly is pretending to be dumb. "You said you would kill the most important person alive for me and that is my cat. Be warned if anything happen to my baby, I know it was your doing."

Honestly he is far more concerned you think he would kill the cat than fazed by all the empty threats you're making. Though he reassures you he won't harm nor kill the cat, in fact, the cat is so spoiled and well fed that Sebastian is proud of him since he takes good care of your cat. Secretly he thinks of it as your child, not that he ever going to admit it.

#*･゜ﾟ anon ask #lorkai answer #yandere sebastian #yandere sebastian michaelis

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nikolaidelphiki · 2 months

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Since a total of zero people asked me: here are my opinions on Palia non-romancable NPCs after playing the game for about 100 or so hours. And as always SPOILERs:

Ashura: You are my dad. You're my dad. Boogie-ooogie-oogie. I actually don't take to him as much as I should.The fact that he was the chill one in his family makes so much sense. He's such a calming presence. But of course there's the Regrets.

Delaila: Ok but why is she the few Older adult Majiri OG in Kilima? Like have you noticed that she's kinda the only one that's originally from the village? Like, where did she come from? Is she the real leader? Did she secretly take everyone out that she didn't like and replace them with people lured in my her homecooking? Things to think about.

Kenli: What happens when you don't give a nepotism baby a coming-of-age redemption arc. This guy is just trying his best. He likes sandwiches and cute fluffy animals. His best friend is the town priest. But despite it all man understands capitalism like no other (see Maji Market).

Caleri: She's a fav. Maybe I'm projecting but I too would die for my books and eat sleep and breathe in the library. Intelligent, unbothered by village happenings. Yet, keeps a detailed leger of each book bowers status upon the borrowed book's return. However, deeply unhappy with the cards life has delt her. I try to bring her all the glass bulbs so she can read into the night.

Elouisa: The only real G's out there. Sending me on impossible tasks to prove her theories and beat to cryptid allegations. Of course she's the older twin. Intelligent, bothered by village happenings when it comes to her projects. Still watches over her sister and cares in her own way. I love her.

Badruu: Comedic genius. I'm pretty sure when he gave up the bard life for farming, he realized he needed to put his funny guy hat on and has been spitting puns ever since. And yet despite the dad jokes, he asks me me, the amnesiad human for parenting advice. The absolute honor. Also, I just need to see him talk with Einar, PLEASE. The comedic fallout would be unmatched.

Najuma: I make the journey to Bahari Bay every day just for her. Because 1) thanks for the glider I use that every day 2) we are besties and 3) it's good to keep a genius that can blow stuff up on your side idk. We may have different types of Momma Trauma but we are still going to bond over it.

Chayne: I don't interact with him much idk. His dad's raised him right I think. Basically, caretaker for the entire village. Also my Shepp-in-law, grand-Shepp?? idk

Hekla: Jina's caretaker. A bit aloof at first. I also don't interact with Hekla much, but one day I'mma find out what's in the tent.

Sifuu: That's my Shepp! Also a problematic mother that doesn't really understand her child and yearns for days of adventure. And ripped. There's something to be said that she gave me an ornamental sword as a gift. Like insta-loyalty from me even if I wasn't romantically pursuing your son.

Auni: We babe who needed someone is his bug hunting club but mysteriously sucks at hunting most bugs if his item requests are anything to go by. The fact that he ran away from home for the exact length of time that his delivery shift is and wondered why no one was worried is absolutely hilarious and yes I read his journal and laughed.

Zeki: First of all, why is Zeki the only one selling toilets and they are contraband? Has anyone asked this? Is it like illegal to use indoor plumbing and Zeki has the monopoly?? Secondly, I know this fool is scamming me and when I finally get enough gold I'ma buy out him and his whole underground establishment. Respectfully, of course.

Eshe: If Eshe has zero haters, I'm dead. Just because she didn't get with the politically powerful sibling, she makes it everyone else's problem while somehow still efficiently running the village. Even I gotta admit no one's doing it like her. Another member of the problematic mom club but don't tell her she's been grouped with Sifuu. She'll pitch a fit.

Tau: The fact that there's only one of him is a crime. The only good boy.

#palia #palia game #palia mmo #i sitll haven't met subira because i'm a lonely MMO player and don't have enough resources #but the day i get enough flow wood its over #palia spoilers

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sirfrogsworth · 3 months

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Do you ever find someone on YouTube and you really like who they are but then you follow them on Twitter and change your mind?

I guess it shows the fact we all display a version of ourselves online. And different platforms can split people into subversions.

Err... sub-versions.

I guess I am a different version of me in other places too.

This blog is about as me as I can get on the internet. If you like me here you'd probably like me in person.

My main blog is the most positive version of myself—my people pleasing side. Making people happy makes me happy.

My Twitter persona is mostly me yelling at politicians and me testing out my arguments. I realize it is pretty toxic now, but I get so much inspiration for my writing there. I see it as more a tool than anything else lately.

And Facebook is Family Friendly Froggie. I know it can be a hell site for many, but I mostly just keep track of old friends and family members there. It's weirdly the most harmless place on the internet for me.

On Reddit I just lurk. I never seem to find a post in time to add a comment. Everyone has already said everything there is to say by the time I get there. And I don't have the energy to sort posts by new.

Put them all together and you almost get an entire person.

Oh, and I just signed up for the Next Door app. I don't think I'm going to be anyone on there. It's all "did you hear those gunshots" and "I found a missing dog." I don't know if I just have a weird neighborhood or it's like that for everyone.

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purgemarchlockdown · 7 months

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I'd joke about this interrogation question and how I've written a whole post about her Kazui parallels and how the 0308 parallels are so very real and we have the 020708 + 06 sometimes and that isn't even going into the 0809 parallels and the 050608 family parallels, but also I'd like to take a moment to mention how isolated Amane is actually.

It seems partially self-imposed but even before this she seemed to be the most withdrawn out of all the cast members. Not only does it seem like she was alone before the prison she says herself her upbringing isn't the standard.

Amane: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal.

Amane is so far away from everyone, both physically since in T2 she isn't really willing to talk to anyone. And uh...metaphorically I guess. I don't really know a better word for it.

Amane is so young and the stuff she's experienced is so non-standard I'm not surprised she feels excluded and isolated. Part of a cult's indoctrination process is to isolate it's victims, and the more isolated you are the harder it is to crawl out of it.

Not to mention the ways the other prisoners make her Feel Excluded. Shidou does this often by making her feel Looked Down Upon.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behavior? Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand. Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

He doesn't Mean to hurt her but it doesn't really change the outcome does it?

Notably the people she talks recently to are the ones that ask her for advice or her opinion. Fuuta has done that multiple times and Yuno did it recently.

23/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Amane: What is it…… Kashiki Yuno. Don’t sit so close to me. Go away. Yuno: Sorry for barging in when you’re getting into your worldview thing. But Mahiru-san’s finally managed to get to sleep. Humour me with some small talk while I take a break. By the way, Amane. Have you ever wished you were never born? I’ve thankfully lived a pretty fun life so far, so haven’t really. But you seem to be struggling with something. So I kinda wondered if you thought like that. Amane: ……I don’t think that. Being born into this world is the first miracle any person experiences, and is something to celebrate. Even if after birth I was put through trial after trial, the value of that will never disappear. Yuno: Hmm. Ok. ……happy birthday, then. It’s good that you were brought into the world, I guess.

It seems like Amane appreciates being listened to and being asked for her opinion, which tracks with things she said in her in the T1 VD.

Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time? Judging these things based on someone’s age will not take you very far. Do I, at age twelve, not have my own will? Does Muu-san, at age 16, have more of a free will than I do? Does Yuno-san, at age 18, have more of a free will? Does Fuuta-san, at age 20, have an entirely free will?

It makes sense to me that she appreciates this, for most of her life it seems her wants and feelings are discarded and considered unimportant.

You might notice this makes Shidou's treatment of her worse. I'm so sorry Shidou but calling her actions a "temper tantrum" was one of the worst things he could of done in this situation. At this point if you get bitten by her it's on you.

(I wonder how much of Amane's hatred of Shidou is because of her cult and how much of it is because of this behavior. Thinking about the 050608 family parallels again...)

Really, no wonder she thinks nobody is like her. The only reason why I can make all these parallels is cause I have access to her magic mind MV and the rest of the material.

Kazui does not know how much Amane lies to protect herself. Amane doesn't know that Mahiru conflates love and pain together. She doesn't even know about Fuuta and Kotoko's crimes for justice! All these people she could relate to and she can't reach out to any of them.

Their so far away from her, it seemed fine in T1 but now the distance is so much bigger now. She's guilty, most of them are innocent, and the ones who are guilty are going through their own pains. Of course nobody is like her, she doesn't know anything about anybody here.

#milgram #amane momose #I got sad okay #cw child abuse #cw cults #milgram thoughts

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theflyingfeeling · 4 months

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I literally explained the most unhinged fic to you, you don't get to do this. We like ridiculous and thrive in unhinged. Please do share this royal/ballet dancer au idea

as if I could actually shut up about my fic ideas on main 🤧 ping @mosvu and also @goth-automaton @sparfloxacin @cosmicfire 🖤

(still hiding it behind a readmore though lol)

Starting off with a disclaimer: I don't think there's anything revolutionary about this fic idea, it sounds very familiar to me and I swear I've read/seen something similar but I can't pinpoint it... In any case, it's not my intetion to copy anyone!

Then I'm just quickly gonna give you some pictures for aesthetic reasons / to illustrate what I'm imagining them to look like in this AU (clean-shaven and twinky for Olli, comfy-casual and twinky for Aleksi 🥰)

(pretend they're drinking tea lol)

And as I said, this is absolutely ridiculous lol, but I've been watching a lot of The Crown recently and this is not inspired by that per se, apart from the fact that Aleksi is some sort of royalty, a prince maybe but spare instead of direct heir to the throne, because I cannot imagine even a modern-day monarchy that wouldn't be sort of home-of-phobic lol. Anyway, Prince Alex is super lonely because he doesn't really go out much because he's an introvert and doesn't know how to handle all the attention, so he rather stays at home most of the time, trying to avoid any sort of public appearances if he only can help it.

The only place he goes to willingly and often is the Royal Ballet. There could be some sorta backstory to this actually 🤔 Maybe he had an aunt/uncle who he really liked as a child and would always take him to the ballet (this aunt/uncle was obviously queer and only years after their passing when Aleksi's already a grown-up he realises this).

One day Aleksi notices a new soloist, and even from the royal booth he can tell this new dancer is the most beautiful person Aleksi has ever seen 😭 He goes to watch the same ballet again literally the next day because he can't get the beautiful male dancer out of his mind and becomes so enamored with the man that he sends him flowers the next time he goes to see the show 💐

Meanwhile Olli is dumbfounded by his new admirer and can't really believe his luck after being handed the comically huge bouquet of flowers backstage after the show 😳 His fellow dancers all tease him and maybe also make fun of poor Prince Alex, who's always presented in the tabloids as this socially clumsy simpleton or something along those lines. Eventually Olli laughs along and decides it must be some sort of practical joke from his friends or whatever, because WHY would Prince Alex be sending flowers to him, of all the dancers in the Royal Ballet?

A couple of shows (and pompous flower deliveries) later, Olli is fetched by a fellow dancer again, telling him some important looking men are asking for him, and so he's taken to some kinda secluded room where Prince Alex is waiting to speak to him 😨 It's awkward more than anything else, and they're both uncomfortable because Olli doesn't know how to act around a member of the fucking royal family and poor Aleksi is desperately trying to appear casual and "normal" but he just doesn't know how 😭 He does manage to invite Olli "for tea" in the palace though, and obviously Olli agrees even though he's not entirely sure what he's agreeing to, because he can't say no to an invitation from the bloody prince now can he?! Prince Alex then leaves and Olli is freaking out and his colleagues keep asking what the prince wants with him and he doesn't know and later in the evening he rants the ears off his roommate Joonas about it 😩

At this point I need to give you some background info about Olli: he's bi and has a sort-of-girlfriend (another ballet dancer); I say 'sort of' because they're mostly just having sex instead of actually dating. Olli also occasionally hooks up with Joonas when they're both horny enough. This is relevant later on 😏

The day of Olli's "tea party" with Prince Alex comes and he's picked up from his apartment by a black car and driven straight to the palace where he's taken to the prince's personal chambers (this is already starting to sound kinky lol). They do drink tea but nothing much else happens because Aleksi is just too goddamn nervous in front of this beautiful human being to think of much to say (relatable af eh? 😭), and Olli feels sorry for him but he can't really come up with anything to talk about either because he's still not quite sure what's going on and why he's even there in the first place and what could a commoner like him even say to an actualy real-life prince? 😬

I mean, I haven't quite figured out myself what Aleksi's intentions here are lol, only that it's not as creepy as it may sound. I guess he just wanted to get to know this beautiful ballet dancer better and couldn't think of any other way to do it other than having him driven to the palace 🙈 I need you to imagine him tossing and turning in his bed unable to sleep because he just can't stop thinking about this ballet dancer, and maybe his brother the crown prince fished enough information out of him to learn his little bro is lusting after some ballet dancer and, thinking it's a female dancer, tells him to just "have them come over for 'some tea' lol, you know grandpa used to do that all the time with dancers from the Royal Ballet" (🙃), and jokes on the crown prince, Aleksi does exactly that, because it's not like he'd ever be able to hang out with this person in public 😶 And just to clarify, he did NOT invite Olli over for the same reason his grandfather may have been inviting those dancers (🙃🙃🙃), he just wanted a friend to talk to other than his brother and maybe the occasional entitled af cousin 😭

After the first meeting Olli tells all about it to Joonas who cackles all through the story as he imagines Olli and the prince just sitting in silence and sipping tea and Olli even spilling some on a very expensive-looking royal rug. Olli doesn't think it's quite as funny at first until they're both laughing about it, because he might as well, since the prince won't definitely be inviting him over for tea again, right?

Wrong! Some days later he receives a similar invitation which he simply doesn't know how to turn down (this time the invitation is delivered just from a royal security dude at the door of the backstage room at the ballet, before the show so that Olli almost trips on his own feet stressing about it on stage). The next day he's fetched from his apartment again, and this time the prince seems a tiny bit more relaxed and asks Olli all sorts of questions about his dancer career to have him relax too. It then occurs to Olli that the prince must just be incredibly lonely and in need of a conversation partner, although he still can't figure out why he was the one chosen for the purpose.

Time passes and Olli starts visiting the prince more regularly, so that he can no longer hide it from his sort-of-girlfriend, who is just as curious as Olli is to find out why the prince has taken such a liking to Olli. Olli wishes he knew, especially because the more he spends time with the prince, the more he begins to like him; his sense of humour and his kind, calm nature and, of course, his looks, both with and without glasses. He curses his horny bisexual ass for beginning to fantasize about the prince, because what chance would he ever have with someone so above him in the class hierarchy? And even if he would, he's a prince for fuck's sake, so it would be doomed before it would even begin.

He talks about prince Alex to his roommate Joonas aaaaaaall the time, enough for Joonas to get the gist eventually, although he says nothing of it, because he reckons he should let Olli have that realisation by himself 🤭

I don't think I'm ever actually going to write this (the perfectionist in me would not want to half-ass any ballet nor royalty-related details), but if I did, it would be so incredibly slow burn that Olli and Prince Alex wouldn't even kiss until chapter 12 or something lol. But when they do, it quickly escalates from there, because they're just so into each other and it just feels so nice 😭 so that eventually they start making out the second Olli enters Aleksi's chambers lol, and maybe there's also some dry humping on a very old and expensive satin sofa 🥰

And I hope you hadn't forgotten about the 'anal fingering' tag I talked about lol, because oh my oh my 😌 So Olli is still seeing that girl from his ballet company, mostly just to hook up because he doesn't really know how to say no to people (and the sex is still pretty good tbf). One day while blowing/wanking him, the girl sneaks a finger up his bum. Olli sort of freaks out, mostly because he's caught off guard but also because it felt surprisingly good, even though he asked the girl to stop (he's a top and has never been penetrated before; btw this is low-key inspired by a scene in the latest season of Sex Education lol). He becomes curious though and later asks Joonas about how it feels. Joonas, the good fuck-buddy he is, offers to finger Olli, and......... yeah. Imagine Olli arching his back in pleasure as Joonas fingers him 🥵

So the next time he visits the prince and they get all hot and bothered, he instructs Aleksi to finger him and 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 (now imagine Aleksi sitting on that royal sofa and Olli straddling him, sort of 'riding' his fingers until he cums 😳🫠

Aaaaaaaand that's about how far I've gotten with this as of yet, I sort of got stuck with the visual image of Olli being fingered 🙈 obviously this has a happy ending, although not without drama, but I'm yet to figure out the rest of this. I'll keep you updated? 😇 One scene that I have imagined that would take place way after Olli and Prince Alex are deep in their secret relationship is one of Olli helping Aleksi put on some black eyeliner and other cool make-up to make him unrecognizable (at least at first glance) and oh-so-hot so that they can hit the club together and make out on the dance floor without no one batting an eye 🥰 (obviously this would eventually end up on the tabloids when someone recognizes him but sshhhhh let's not talk about that 😭)

The others will be there too, of course, even though I haven't really given that much thought. I was thinking Tommi could be Joonas new-found fuck buddy since Olli is now too busy fucking the prince. I was also first thinking Joonas could be a ballet dancer as well, but I think I'd prefer him to be doing something else (or maybe he used to be a dancer and that's how he and Olli met but he had to retire because of an injury or smth). Joel could also be their more grumpy roommate, a catwalk model maybe. Niko? No clue. Any ideas? 👀

#for context: percervall is writing a mamma mia inspired fic in her fandom! it's wacky as fuck from what i've heard 😌#answered asks #percervall #ollixallu #blind channel rpf

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