#i dont know if putting links still break posts but can share if asked

[bustersnax]

There was a grumpus missing. I had to do something about it... Template made by @dragonsaltartales !

#i dont know if putting links still break posts but can share if asked #bugsnax #bugsnax spoilers #bigsnax spoilers #alegander jamfoot

[fukuo]

Hello, Fukuo!

I'm using your Empati Theme, and I love how customizable it is, but there are a few things I was curious about. I tried to look up the answers before bothering you, and had no luck.

If you don't have the answers to these questions or the time to answer them, that's fine, I still greatly appreciate the themes you provide!

Is there a way to have photos show up as the preview for photo & text posts? My current format is a line of text as a title and then the image, if I make sure the image is at the top then it shows the image preview, but otherwise it will show the document icon. (this one isn't nearly as complicated since I know I can reformat my posts, it would just be a long process)

Is there a way to add comment & share buttons on posts, and move all of the buttons to the bottom, similarly to the way there are on the dash?

Do you know if there is a way to add in infinite scrolling? I've tried multiple variations of different code, nothing has worked.

And my final questions are would it be too difficult to add additional social media buttons similar to the facebook, twitter, youtube, ect, and have you considered making their order a slide and drop for rearranging? I would love to add some additional sites, but the other link option works for a splash page.

There are so many wonderful things about your theme! I love how the grid layout turns my images into a digital gallery, and how easy it is to view the rest of the post. Thank you again so much for making such wonderful themes!

Hello there! 👋

Thank you very much for using the theme, and I really appreciate that you've formatted your questions as lists; it makes it easier for me to scan, haha 🥸🤝

So here are my answers to each of your questions below:

Is there a way to have photos show up as the preview for photo & text posts?

To answer this, allow me to give you a bit of context.

Tumblr has a thing called NPF (Neue Post Format) — where every post created in a new beta editor allows us to put multiple types of media in the same post.

Previously, before this, we could create posts based on their post types, called "legacy post types." It's called "legacy" because Tumblr has been moving away from this for a long time (I believe they started this around 2018).

The thing is, with this NPF, it's very difficult to differentiate which one is a text post and which one is a "photo" post since the theme engine cannot differentiate these post types anymore (every post created in NPF is mostly categorized as "text").

My approach in building this grid theme is by manually detecting the media block in the posts:

If the image is at the very top of the post, it will show as an image.

If the image is not at the very top (it starts from a text block), then it will show the document icon.

So I apologize that there is no workaround for this in the meantime 🙏

Is there a way to add comment & share buttons on posts, and move all of the buttons to the bottom, similarly to the way there are on the dash?

The theme engine on Tumblr doesn't have the ability to have the comment/reply system similar to the dashboard, unfortunately. I really wish they did.

As for the "share button" on posts, I will consider including this in the next updates!

Do you know if there is a way to add in infinite scrolling? I've tried multiple variations of different code, nothing has worked.

Implementing infinite scrolling can result in a code break in the grid layout posts. I have tried including this in the first iteration when coding this, but to no avail 🥲

Also, I am not a fan of infinite scroll because of this reason: https://www.tumblr.com/eggdesign/649014437609668608/ooh-different-anon-but-can-i-ask-why-you-dont-like?source=share

But I will consider adding this in the future since it's a highly requested feature 🚶🌦️

And my final questions are would it be too difficult to add additional social media buttons similar to the facebook, twitter, youtube, ect, and have you considered making their order a slide and drop for rearranging? I would love to add some additional sites, but the other link option works for a splash page.

When it comes to rearranging the order of the social media buttons, there is no way to do that in the Tumblr Customizer.

Unfortunately, there is not, and the customize page has not been updated since 2015 (which is a shame; Tumblr should also pay attention to user experience in customizing the theme).

Regarding additional sites, what other sites are you thinking? I will consider adding this to the theme!

Hopefully, this answers your questions, and please let me know if you have anything else. Thank you.

Cheers.

#blumin-onion #answered

[jeanvanjer]

I come bearing Sleepover asks!! [Banner Question posts linked in the top pic - can you believe you can put links on pics now???]

I don't think I've heard your MILF Kate and DILF Anthony HCs before so bless us please! Also the second one ehehe I just wanna hear some spicy takes 👀 👀 

Look at you, Steve Jobs. Putting links on pics.

I never did share HCs for Kanthony have I? (Other than Anthony living life passively if Kate had died post horse accident)

How would Kanthony be like parents?

Prepping for a bbq as I write this (multitasking queeeeen) so its not that thought out.

Of course, like 90% of the fandom, I believe Anthony would be overprotective of his daughters' but I think Show Anthony would be slightly different. He would still be overprotective but he would value his daughters' opinions and trust them enough to make their own decisions and mistakes.

I like to think Anthony would learn a lot from his S2 mistakes and raise his sons to be true men and not just show and book Anthony's weirdo definition of a "gentleman" (which, surprise surprise is not gentlemanly. We all the the most gentlemanly thing Anthony did was eat Kate out on him mums gazebo.) Post s2, he's realized what his behaviors post Edmunds death, has affected his siblings and also others (The Sharma women). He's more aware of the damage he can cause when he's too linear controlling and selfish with his thoughts and plans. SO I see that changing him as a parent. Show Anthony is more complicated than Book Anthony was but that would also make Show Anthony a better father than Book Anthony.

Kate's already been a mother to Edwina and she sees how that blew up in her face. She would be more cautious and hesitant of how she is as a mother. Kate would probably be more nervous and less sure when the kiddos are slowly becoming more independent. But this Kate is more confident in standing her ground when it comes to herself and voicing what she herself desires. She wouldn't hesitate to take a break or seek out help whether thats from Mary or Violet and Daphne.

Anthony and Kate are a team now. They have each other to fall back on and seek support from. They have both experienced a parents love, their loss, and a parents neglect. They've seen how those three things have affected them well into their adulthoods and how they then subconsciously caused problems for their own loved ones. So I truly believe that Show Kanthony would be better parents than Book Kanthony.

What could have been done better Book or Show?

Sex. The book is tame and both JB and Simone had enough chemistry to sink the Titanic. so the lack of extreme sexy times in both is abysmal. The book gets a slight pass. BUT THE SHOW? come on. You're telling me a single scene of Anthony testing Kate's riding skills couldnt have happened??? Anthony Bridgerton you told Kate there are many things you can teach her. Dont be a bitch and deliver.

As a fan of the books office/study scene, I wanted that in the show.

I know a lot of people dont like that scene but whatever I love it and I wanted to see it on the show.

As far as the book goes, I hated the wedding night. It was dumb. Anthonys speech is great (watch the writers give that scene away) but the execution from start to finish is dumb.

Don't like the whole husbandly right's spiel Anthony goes on. What would've been great is Anthony telling Kate he'll give her two weeks to prep but only if he can give her lessons. "The things that I could teach you" The show saw the potential of this but even they failed to deliver. Can we get a Christmas special of Anthony and Kate's lessons please?

#my asks #bridgerton

[thetaoofbetty]

I don't know if you're getting my ask love, I hope you get the long one bcs I don't want to write again and my memory from the ep isn't good

You don't have to post this ask I just wanted tl say that I was thinking the same than the other anon

https://askandsmile.tumblr.com/post/664408118659301376/i-hope-dont-be-asking-something-mean-but-what-are

So I asked to the person that go to the other two clubhouses with evan and chat with it on the private

i did get it! i had to go looking for it after i saw this one but i'm going to put it under a cut for you because it's pretty long.💜

link to tumblr post

Soo I literally watched the ep one minute ago

And wanted to share some throughts

I think I can summary this

-After don't talk with the other for 7 years betty and archie start a fwb no one want something serious

-archie realizes still had feelings for his ex

-betty is using archie as a scape from her trauma and don't want that she and archie get deepen

-archie confess that still had feelings for v and b admit that they don't work they should but they don't

-betty just start to hooking up with someone else

-veronica and archie fight harder to be together

-they share a booth and a glance after 8 eps

-va finally get together they move together the guy admit that in his house they could grow together, the girl want something different and archie try to find a solution but veronica don't wanted after say all she want and need is archie.

-after ba didn't  talk for 11 eps veronica and archie had to mention 3, 4 times than they break up (👀)—i find it weird how often they've repeated things this season, it's...not good.

-veronica and archie apparently move on

Betty and archie finally talk, more they share more scenes on this ep than the whole s5b.

he is sad bcs he and veronica want different things and betty say she will stay for lives and lives in the town bcs her mother and archie say he future is riverdale (👀 who was the person than say that ba will be together bcs they will stay on this horrible town)—alex said it, i think

-veronica want to go to New York but she can't bcs the show is called riverdale

-ALICE MAKE A PARTY FOR BETTY (I won't talk about Betty being a agent again this is long enough)

- ba share some glances and that erase the story they told us this whole season

-they go to Archie's house and archie want to try something real with betty this time (I think I make it seen ba relationship kinda as a rebound it isn't/s) and betty even when she know she and archie don't work and don't wanted get something deep with him before want to be with him to for reasons—any shipper of b/a who truly just loves the ship should be disappointed that this is what the show is serving them. bugheads and varchies speculated better, more nuanced ways b/archie could happen for them. that's where they're at as a ship, you know? the people who don't even like it gave it more thought than the show. yikes.

Reasons that I don't understand, I try to understand but I'm tired of trying to understand I hope I will addressed on the nexts eps but it isn't love and I'm thinking the same with veggie

-Ba almost hook up but there's a bomb

-since now I'm a Hiram lodge stan—i never said anything bad about hiram lodge, hiram lodge is my friend.

Thanks Evan I think I saw bad the whole season sorry

I will just pretend betty knows that veronica's sad about the break up and archie only wanted to try with betty once veronica dumped him.

And for the curse I don't know I would like to think that the reason why will be together is the curse someone else notice that the only ones affected for the wind where jughead, Archie and betty and the ones around them—sounds like a set up if you ask me.

But I don't want to get my hopes up you could dissagre with me but I think the whole ep they set up barchie and veggie to happen—well, to be fair, the entirety of the non cooper plots in 5x18 existed to put j/t and t/f together so that sounds about right.

made sense not

They are in love not

I hate it yes

It's rushed yes

BH and VA will be back yes

Another things the writers really expect that we like a ship copy paying scenes  and tropes of the one we love—again, anyone genuinely shipping that should be less than thrilled that these characters had to be written very differently from the rest of the season and they're getting leftovers as moments.

Decide to move together after one date sounds like a great plan—it's either shockingly stupid or being done to light a quick fuse.

If Archie's house explote ba will live together?

They will try to make the bh and falice with ba and fralice?

ANYWAYS

ALEXA PLAY "DEJA VU"

https://twitter.com/J0NESDALE/status/1445956454004006915?t=t9m4H4Kq607eildObZnpFA&s=19

link

the cherry on the top and oh shit his arm why he do that, it's so forced (trigger warning ba scene nothing romantic)—the worst part is that i cannot, for the life of me, remember any scene in 5 seasons where archie is legitimately funny.

#besos! #assaaaasworld #riverdale spoilers #anti b*rchie #anti evan #anti j*bitha #i guess #i feel like it's common sense but whatever let's fight about it

[chikkou]

masterpost on the ryan haywood (and adam kovic) situation

so i already made this post as a more general “whats wrong with rooster teeth” post, as i honestly didnt expect the ryan haywood/adam kovic situation to go as far as it has - but at this point i think it’s much more prudent to put that information into its own post because the situation with both of these men, ryan primarily, has gone off the fucking rails 

tl;dr for the situation: ryan haywood and adam kovic both had nudes leak and were outed as cheating on their wives as a result of being catfished, but a great deal more information surfaced after the initial leak which led to the discovery that ryan haywood is a manipulative sexual predator, and adam kovic may have been sending sexual pictures and videos of his wife without her consent. 

i will try to break down this post chronologically as best i can and provide ample sources, and i will update it as new information is gathered. please be aware that many of these sources will be coming from kiwifarms, as it has gathered all of the relevant info into one place, but i will not be linking to the thread directly for a myriad of reasons, so if you want to find it, youll have to look for yourself. apologies if any of the screenshots contain disagreeable language; i wouldnt link them if they werent relevant.

general tw for pretty much everything in this post. all pictures of people will be largely sfw, but there will be nsfw text under the cut. i will not link to any nudes of ryan or adam. this is going to be long as fuck.

here goes.

NOTE: this post is currently up-to-date as of january 28th, 7:27 pm (EST). 

GENERAL BACKGROUND:

adam kovic and ryan haywood are both employees at the entertainment company rooster teeth. ryan has been working there since 2011, originally for more behind-the-scenes work before becoming a regular achievement hunter staple, while adam kovic was a personality who originally worked for machinima before he and a few others branched off to become funhaus. funhaus was later purchased by the media corporation fullscreen, as was rooster teeth, and both were merged sometime in 2014/2015. 

HOW THIS ALL BEGAN:

sometime in august, there were rumors circulating on certain forum sites that a catfisher had been sexting with a handful of e-celebs, and had their nudes. a torrent link was put up containing the files, but was quickly taken down. this didnt gain much traction, but was brought up again on the same forum in late september/early october. this time, the person posted images directly, showing that they’d been sexting with adam kovic and ryan haywood.

according to them, they didnt get very far with ryan and so there were only a small handful of his pictures and videos, but there were over 400 of adam’s nudes, also pictures and videos, and some of which featured his wife. after this news broke, a thread was made on kiwifarms to document everything (the thread was created on october 4th). another thread was made on /pol/ shortly before this, claiming that ryan was grooming underaged fans, and that both ryan and adam had sexted with fans (both of age and underage). no sources or corroboration for this claim were given at the time.

WEEK 1, DAY 1 (october 4th):

initially, most of the focus was on adam, due to the sheer number of his nudes and the content within them. while people were suspicious of the veracity of ryan’s nudes, it became clear that the photos of adam were legitimate, as his face was shown in several of them, there was no evidence of photoshopping, and he has a distinct tattoo which made it pretty hard to dispute. heres a more sfw picture as an example.

the catfish had all of these images on hand, and due to the “sent to you” header on top we know that they were sent directly to the catfish, and not taken from adam’s phone, meaning he willingly sent these images to the catfish. note that his wife was indeed almost naked in the background (wearing only underwear), and there are multiple pictures and videos of her completely naked and sometimes even engaging in sex with adam. after a bit of analysis, people came to the conclusion that the pictures of ryan were real, as well.

ADAM’S WIFE, JESS KOVIC:

no response came from him at first, nor his wife - the only indication she gave that she knew what had happened was this cryptic comment on her instagram account, which she has since privated. no one is quite clear what this reaction means, nor has she confirmed or denied whether she consented to the pictures and videos being taken and sent to others.

soon after, people who’d (puzzlingly) decided to sift through the nudes discovered something jarring - some of the nudes he’d sent appeared to have been taken IN the rooster teeth office. heres a sfw example, but there were at least a dozen others taken in the same location.

RYAN:

ryan’s nudes were largely ignored in the beginning - there were a great deal more of adam’s, and while ryan’s were pretty standard nudes, adam’s were much more plentiful and had a lot more variety in the... activities depicted, shall we say. people were also fixated on the status of his wife’s consent in the matter, and so little attention was given to ryan, who was simply deemed a cheater and left at that.

ROOSTER TEETH & THE FANBASE:

unsurprisingly, rt attempted to immediately suppress any and all mention of the scandal when it first broke. heres an image of a handful of threads that were made on r/roosterteeth that day; as you can see, the ones highlighted in red have been deleted, and all were about the leaks. comments on the official rt site were instantly deleted as well. no official comment from the company or any of the employees, though a former funhaus employee (rahul kohli) commented mocking adam for the situation, and implied that things were worse than we yet realized.

WEEK 1, DAY 2 (october 5th):

although adam had been the primary focus of the first day of the news breaking, it began to look like there was little else to discuss with him. at worst, he seemed to be a cheater, and potentially sent nudes of his wife without her permission. still disgusting, but as there was no comment from him and no new updates on his situation, attentions turned, and a slow rumble began bubbling up with more accusations about ryan.

ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

an anonymous twitter account, @brotherxteresa (whose account has since been suspended), claims to have been speaking to girls who’d been sexual with ryan. they state that everyone they’ve spoken to was of age - significantly younger than ryan, true, but still legally able to consent. however, they confirm that ryan has indeed been getting around with fans, both via sexting and in-person. he also strongly implies that the mods knew, and asks them to comment, but their responses are predictably vague. notably, though, is this tweet from @grandaddyskulls, in which they condemn “proven disgusting behavior,” heavily implying that the mods did indeed deal with “unproven” accusations against ryan in the past. unfortunately, there are no sources for this at this time.

on the same day, tumblr user @juggey creates this post, containing screenshots of a conversation they had with one of ryan’s victims. within those screenshots is this particularly interesting one, in which ryan receives a nude from the fan in question, only to ask, in an almost joking tone, if they “turned him into a felon” by sending a nude. they confirm that they are an adult, but it becomes clear that ryan did not know the age of the fan before getting sexual with them, and seems to have a very flippant and casual approach to this.

later on, this tweet is posted by @jasminewill123, confirming that ryan has indeed been messing with fans for years. no sources are posted, though, just a verbal confirmation. @brotherxteresa also reveals that he is speaking to someone who was solicited by ryan for sex when they were a minor in this tweet thread, but doesnt share any info, stating that the minor is saving it for a potential court case. there is also this tweet from someone stating that they slept with him in 2017, and that he claimed to have never had sex with a fan before and removed the condom mid-sex. once again, no corroboration for this just yet.

RT’S RESPONSE:

still mainly radio silence from the company, except for this tweet cancelling the days stream. replies on this post are locked almost instantly. rt also begins a quiet sweeping of all ryan and adam-centric content and videos, including a video of ryan reading “thirsty tweets” from fans, and straight up cut ryan out of certain videos (like a recent AHWU). some of these videos were archived, but we dont have a complete list of what was removed.

on the slightly less official side, r/roosterteeth issues a statement basically saying that any post attempting to discuss the leaks will be deleted immediately, and the people who post them will be reported (and likely banned).

WEEK 1, DAY 3 (october 6th):

we get our first confirmation of ryan having sexted a fan from @jasminewill123, in the form of this previously-unseen picture of ryan (it’s sfw but is clearly a cropped nude). rahul kohli again makes snide comments about adam and funhaus in general, but does not share any details of what he means. rumors spread that one of the former funhaus members, lawrence sonntag, has sent an email to his subscribers regarding adam kovic, but no evidence of that comes up yet. jess kovic posts this tweet plugging her online store, but still declines to comment on the situation. things are pretty quiet for a while, until finally, the first shoe drops.

TESSA GRAVES

at 4:13 pm, a woman named tessa graves posts this youtube video and links to it on her twitter account (with associated screenshots in the same thread). she discusses at length how she met ryan and when their relationship became sexual. 

as a brief summary of her video: they met at a con in 2017, when she had just turned 17, and started talking on snapchat. the relationship was platonic for a while until tessa accidentally sent him a picture meant for a friend in which her bra strap was visible. ryan began to flirt with her after this, and soon their relationship became sexual, with nudes being exchanged and dirty texts being sent. she states in the video that ryan did not know her age, nor did he ask for it. the two of them sexted and sent nudes on and off for two years, and planned to hook up in person, but it never came to fruition.

shortly after uploading the video, she posts this screen-recording of her snap messages with ryan, scrolling back through months and months of messages between them, all the way back to late 2017. the snapchat account is confirmed to be his, and the screen-recording proves to be incredibly compelling evidence. this is the first girl to come out and say that ryan was sexual with her when she was underage, and that she did send him nudes as a minor. on her twitter account, someone noticed that ryan was online in the video and inquired about it - tessa confirms that ryan messaged her when he saw her recording their chat, but declined to share what his message said.

RYAN’S TWEET

around an hour after tessa’s video was posted, ryan posts this tweet, announcing his departure from rt. he states that he “made mistakes,” acknowledging that the pictures and screenshots were real, but specifically insists that he “did nothing illegal,” a clear comment on tessa’s accusation. 

(he also asks people to stop harassing his family, but im unsure if the claim is true, as i personally have only seen people empathizing with his wife and children and no negative comments about them at all. he may be referring to people messaging his wife for comment on the situation, or he may just be straight up lying. given all hes done, the latter seems quite likely.)

people quickly begin speculating whether or not ryan was fired or quit of his own volition. personally, i believe the company offered him the option to either resign right then and there, or let them fire him publicly, and he chose the former. this is all speculation, though.

WEEK 1, DAY 4 (october 7th):

lawrence sonntag’s email to his subscribers finally gets leaked; it basically just says that hes grossed out and pissed off by what happened, and ends with the cryptic comment that “adam never washed his hands.” (he later stated that he meant this literally. EW!)

later the same day, adam privates his twitter account, and removes all references to rooster teeth and funhaus in his bio. shortly after, he unfollows everyone he was following and changes his icon and header to a black image. (basic public breakdown stuff, i suppose?) 

NEW LEAK TIMELINE:

it’s discovered that an anonymous twitter user, @d74840281, had messaged ryan and adam weeks before regarding these leaks on september 18th. they also accuse ryan, adam, and several other youtube personalities - alec paul, kootra, nenreaper, and dormstreams - of “grooming the same minor.” (i dont know any of those people, but it seems relevant so i added it.)

it’s also revealed that the r/funhaus subreddit was aware of the leaks 2 weeks beforehand, meaning that the info was successfully suppressed until october 4th, and that it was likely well-known by all funhaus members and probably general rt staff, as well.

RT’S RESPONSE:

the official rt account on roosterteeth.com posts this update to their programming schedule, cancelling several rttv programs, putting both achievement hunter and funhaus on a week long break, and delaying the premiere of two new shows (”rvb zero” and “grudge night”)

not long after, they post these tweets stating that they have “parted ways” with both adam and ryan, confirming that both men are no longer rt employees. they are deliberately vague about whether the men were fired or quit, but given the responses from both, i think ryan likely chose to resign instead of be fired, and adam was probably just fired outright. 

RYAN’S MODS:

you may recall that, on the second day, the question of whether the mods knew about ryan’s doings was posed. their answers were, of course, extremely vague, but one of them in particular strongly implied that the mods had dealt with some kind of accusation against ryan in the past and either ignored or actively suppressed it. well, sure enough, two of the mods (@grandaddyskulls and @ohdeerbambi/) post tweets admitting that they knew the entire time. 

specifically, they state that someone came forward with accusations of ryan behaving inappropriately two years ago (2018), coupled with screenshots. the mods confronted ryan about this, and when ryan (predictably) lied about it, they decided to drop it instead of pursuing it further. 

ADAM’S TWEET:

at 10:49 pm, adam finally speaks up with a post on twitter, formally stating that he is leaving funhaus. he apologizes to his coworkers and fans, but primarily apologizes to his wife, stating that he has “upturned her life.” he describes the events thus far as an “unbelievable breach of privacy and peeling back of [his] life,” and says that he is stepping away in order to focus on repairing his relationship with his wife and working on himself. 

while we still have no confirmation on whether his wife consented to having those pictures and videos taken, we know with a good amount of certainty now that she did not consent to having them sent to others. this would likely qualify as revenge (or otherwise non-consensual) porn in the state of california, so if she pressed charges, adam would likely see jail time.

CAST MEMBERS REACT:

the first direct response from cast members come from michael, jeremy, and lindsay, stating their feelings of anger and betrayal, and strongly implying that none of them were aware of the goings-on. (while they definitely HAVE to say this cookie-cutter stuff for the sake of their image, i will say that theres really not much else a person can say in a situation like this while still being professional. i do tentatively believe all three of them, with the most doubt on michael.)  

at this time, lawrence sonntag unfollows ryan, as do gus and lindsay. interestingly, the first person ryan unfollows himself is lindsay - this could potentially mean that lindsay actually blocked him, which forces the other person to unfollow.

WEEK 1, DAY 5 (october 8th):

at this point, discussion of adam kovic all but tapers off. he has gone full radio silent, and no one has come out with any more stories about him, so it seems very likely that his wrongdoings begin and end with the initial sexting and sending nudes of his wife. the conversation begins to turn to focus on ryan in earnest.

RYAN’S WIFE:

a reddit post (that is sadly deleted now) is uncovered from 3 months ago that reveals he and his wife have been sleeping in separate rooms for some time - we’re unsure exactly how long, but most people who’ve mentioned it have said it started in may. according to ryan, this was because his wife was exposed to covid at her job, but the quarantine period for covid is only 2 weeks - why would they be sleeping in separate rooms for so long when they clearly were not doing so before?

it is speculated that his wife may have somehow learned of ryan’s dalliances, as he was also seen without his wedding ring in streams much more often around the same time. it is unknown exactly why, though, so take this with a grain of salt.

MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

a deleted user on reddit makes a post stating that they, too, sexted with ryan while they were also married. their husband found out and threatened to leak the info, but the user was able to convince him not to do so and he - according to op - deleted what proof he had. although the original post is now deleted, a pinned moderator comment on it states that the user provided proof corroborating the story in private. you can read a copy-pasted version of that story here. (apologies if it’s out of order.)

MORE CAST MEMBER COMMENTARY:

a list of all known cast member statements can be found here. it’s pretty comprehensive, but there are some i want to address here directly:

lindsay snaps at someone who tries to call her out for “not supporting her family” (meaning ryan). this, for me, is the big reason why i feel that she, at the very least, is being sincere.

blaine posts this.... weird video of him working out and captions it “me figuring out how to convert anxiety into energy.” i guess it’s supposed to be somewhat of a mood lightener, but honestly it just feels kind of trivializing to me. idk what he was thinking LMAO

aaron marquis makes this... interesting (and vague) comment. no further elaboration on it, but it’s definitely unique in comparison to many others.

meg’s statement strikes me as particularly devoid of sincerity. it may just be confirmation bias, but i just feel like it’s incredibly hollow in comparison to the others (which are also kind of hollow LMAO).

joel heyman, who was fired from rt not long ago, doesnt comment directly, but does like this tweet which calls him “the only non-degenerate connected to rt.” (OCT. 12 EDIT: he has since posted this tweet with no context, but i think it’s pretty clear what hes referring to.)

tina dayton, streamer and wife of ray, posts this tweet letting people know that mentioning the ryan/adam situation to ray in streams will not be tolerated. (OCT. 21 EDIT: she posts this tweet a few days later, on october 15th, decrying anyone who wants to play “devils advocate” in support of an abuser against their victim.)

JAN 30 EDIT: this is very late, but sometime on or before january 6th, alfredo briefly discussed the ryan haywood situation on his stream and berated those who still support him. his closing statement is the perfect summation of all of these events: fuck ryan haywood.

WEEK 1, DAY 6 (october 9th):

adam kovic deletes his twitter account, and all other public social media. this is the last piece of relevant adam kovic information for several months to come.

MICHELLE VOLOGS

at 11:26 am, a twitter user named @MichelleVologs posts this tweet, containing a link to this video, called “what you need to know about ryan haywood,” in which she asserts - with proof - that she and ryan had sex on september 23rd 2017, when she was 17 years old.

brief summary: they began talking when she was 17 and dm’d him on instagram. it was platonic at first, but he began flirting with her and trying to sext with her, at which point she inquired about the nature of his relationship with his wife. he insisted that they were in a “sexless marriage” because his wife hates sex, and that he needed to seek it out elsewhere. (we have no idea if this is even remotely true - the only source claiming this is ryan himself.) they sexted for a while, then eventually met up in california and had sex in person (and much like the story that @jasminewill123 told, ryan removed the condom in the middle of sex). when michelle told ryan that she was underage, he simply stated that it was okay and that he “trusted her.” 

she shows screenshots throughout the video of their instagram dms, as well as some candid shots of ryan in their hotel room. (people have speculated that the latter two pictures may be ryan removing his wedding ring.) this picture also proves that they definitely met in person. take note of the fact that, in the dms, michelle keeps the conversation very platonic and professional - ryan is the one to initiate the sexual talk, and with zero prompting.

on top of this, michelle is also the first person to posit the idea that ryan deliberately chose to pursue young girls with mental health issues, a notion that will crop up again later.

EVEN MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS

a reddit user by the name of “klowbie-frenzy” states that they, too, were victimized by ryan, though they dont publicly share their story or any particular info. they are encouraged to go to rt directly.

WEEK 1, DAY 7 (october 10th):

ryan begins deleting tweets, but other than that is completely radio silent. people analyzing ryan’s instagram notice this post, made on september 24th 2017 - the day after he and michelle had sex. sure enough, he is still in LA as he was the day before, and michelle herself comments on the post in a clear reference to the events of the day before, reasserting that she is telling the truth.

LEIGH:

yet another girl, leigh, comes forward and says she was sexually involved with ryan. she posts this (very long) document to her twitter account @leigh__sucks, which details the entirety of her relationship with ryan. unlike tessa and michelle, leigh was over 18 during the course of her experience with ryan (she was 20 when they first started talking).

brief summary of the document: she started messaging ryan on snapchat in 2017, and it remained platonic until february 2018, when they exchanged nudes for the first time. they sexted for a while, until hooking up for the first time at rtx 2018. leigh told someone she knew about the encounter, and this person began harassing leigh and ryan about it, threatening to tell his wife and leaving nasty comments on ryan’s stream. eventually the person backed off, and ryan and leigh continued sexting and meeting up for sex, on and off. according to her, they sexted as recently as september 2020.

this story is MUCH different than tessa’s and michelle’s, as leigh was still engaging with ryan fairly actively until only a month ago, and had a different perspective as an adult than the two underaged girls would have had. still, she is absolutely correct that ryan held a similar power over her due to his celebrity status, and that he took advantage of this.

she also provides screenshots and pictures of the two of them in the thread. although it is all VERY convincing - as if everything else hes done wasnt enough - theres something particularly unique in her thread, which is these screenshots of payments sent to her by ryan, under the name “sorta malicious gaming.” why is ryan sending leigh money under this name relevant? well...

RYAN’S DONATIONS:

one of ryan’s mods reveals that the email ryan used to send this money was connected to his stream. according to ryan, the money he received from twitch donations and bits went to his children’s college funds, or any necessary big-ticket expenditures like home repairs - however, as we can see here, that was a complete lie. this means that all donations he received, which he claimed went to taking care of himself and his family, were actually being spent on gifts and plane tickets for the girls he was hooking up with. im not sure if he could get into any legal trouble here - im doubtful, since they are donations - but this is just another way he took advantage of his fans, only this time is financial instead of sexual. and speaking of taking advantage of fans...

RYAN “VENTS” TO LEIGH:

shortly after posting her document, leigh added an update to say that ryan had redownloaded snapchat and that she’d immediately began taking screenshots. surprisingly, ryan messaged her and asked if she’d speak with him. leigh agreed (for the purpose of getting more screenshots, according to her), and ryan began talking about how his marriage and career were over, how he never meant to victimize anyone, and that the girls coming out would rather “make him the bad guy” than accept that theyd slept with him willingly. 

leigh mentions that it occurred to her how ryan would always cast doubt on any rumors by claiming that whatever girl hed been involved with was “crazy,” and notes that he did the same to her, all while calling her his “friend.” this will be relevant again later. 

ryan goes on to point the finger at leigh specifically, saying that he ‌“still‌ ‌didn’t‌ ‌know‌ ‌if‌ ‌[she] ‌was‌ ‌going‌ ‌to‌ ‌add‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌fire‌ ‌at‌ ‌this‌ ‌point,”‌ ‌and‌ ‌how‌ ‌he‌ ‌“hoped‌ ‌[she wouldn’t]‌ ‌for‌ ‌his‌ ‌kids’‌ ‌sake.” all the while, leigh notes that he was deleting messages, proving to her that ryan was more fixated on his image and manipulating her into doing what HE wanted, rather than doing the right thing. here are screenshots of the conversation between leigh and ryan, and here are some clearer photos (as some are a bit blurry due to being taken on another phone).

WEEK 2, DAY 1 (october 11th):

this day is mostly quiet as people attempt to digest the absurd influx of information from the days prior, as well as the huge bombshell dropped by leigh in particular. 

RYAN’S DISCORD SERVER:

it’s discovered that ryan likely found out about the leaks very early on (either the very first day, or the day of tessa’s accusation), because he was noted as being online in his discord server, which he apparently rarely used.

the users in his discord server immediately disown him upon learning of his preying on minors, and assert that the server is now a general server instead of a ryan haywood server.

YOU GUESSED IT - MORE ANONYMOUS ACCUSATIONS:

this tweet thread is made by @trickstress_ stating that, while working with “the madhouse” (not exactly sure what this is, but it seems like some kind of ryan-themed community server), they attempted to get ryan to address a situation occurring behind the scenes in which someone was being bullied and harassed by other members. when ryan is sent five pages of screenshots and evidence, he basically says that screenshots are not proof and that the victim simply “wanted” to be offended. this caused trick and a few others to leave the madhouse.

in the same screenshot, he mentions a situation involving another certain user that he is dealing with (the name of the person in question is redacted in blue), and trick speculates that the person in blue may be another one of ryan’s victims.

meanwhile, twitter user @eacalpreon (whose account appears to be deleted) states that they uncovered this tumblr post from august 25th, 2019, about someone who spotted ryan at an austin hotel they used to work at, entering a hotel room booked by someone that was certainly NOT his wife. at the time of posting, this was simply brushed off as speculation and ignored.

KAYLA:

at 10:03 am, this tweet is posted by @HADERSRICHIE/, detailing yet another story of their encounters with ryan. unlike other stories, kayla unfortunately does not have any screenshot evidence due to losing it all after unfriending ryan from snapchat in 2018 - but in all honesty, at this point we know hes guilty, so that part is not as relevant.

brief summary of the document: the two began talking on snapchat in february 2017, but they didnt begin talking regularly until june 2017, after kayla had moved to austin (for non-related reasons). kayla reveals that she is the user from trick’s tweet thread that was bullied out of the madhouse, and that ryan was not only unhelpful, but was actively telling people that she was a “crazy psycho.” she also backs up the idea that ryan seemed to deliberately target girls with mental health issues. in late 2017/early 2018, the two “make up” and ryan initiates sexual talk. within the first day of flirting, ryan sends kayla a dick pic. the two sexted for a while, and eventually did hook up in person. they hooked up 3 times in total before kayla unfriended ryan on snapchat and ceased all communication with him. 

unlike other cases, kayla was of age (23/24) when this all went down. later on, trick confirms on reddit that kayla was indeed the person from her tweet thread whose name was censored in blue.

DOT:

at 3:37 pm, this tweet thread is posted by @alijdotroro stating that she was also involved with ryan for a few months. her thread is fairly short, and she states that they never had sex in person or anything to the same extent as some of the others - he flirted with her for the first time while she was at a concert, it continued for several months, then he got bored and stopped it. dot was unable to provide screenshots as she had deleted her snapchat. 

JACK’S STATEMENT:

jack pattillo posts this tweet at 8:16 pm, containing this document regarding the ryan (and adam) situation. he first addresses his feelings of anger, betrayal, and guilt, stating that he feels somewhat responsible as he helped to create the same platform that ryan abused. he goes on to thank everyone who has had kind words for him and the other rt staff, and states that while he knows everyone handles rough situations differently, he hopes that people can understand his desire to think positively. he goes on to say that he knows it will be difficult for fans to trust rt going forward, but that he hopes they will give rt another chance and that they (rt) “will be better - [they] have to be.” 

as far as all of the statements go, in my opinion, this one is the most sincere of all (although lindsay’s is definitely the most sincere for me) - jack clearly wrote this himself instead of using standard “shocked” quotes as many of the other rt cast did, and while it is definitely very damage control-y, i can easily tell that he, at the very least, is taking the matter seriously. this doesnt necessarily mean that jack 100% didnt know, but at this point i am inclined to believe that he didnt.

WEEK 2, DAY 2 (october 12th):

twitter user @fantaisieally discusses her own experiences with ryan haywood; they chatted on snapchat starting in 2017, she would often go to him for dating advice, and while ryan finally tried to hit on her, he got completely deaded when she told him that he was “like her older brother.” honestly this one is just really funny to me, like she completely curved his ass and he had to flounder talking about “i was JOKING lol just a joke!” it’s pretty glorious after all this terrible shit.

someone on reddit notes that after ally turns him down, ryan doesnt apologize or anything, but instead continues the “joke” in such a way that prompts her to accept his offer while still giving him plausible deniability. (that phrase is going to come up quite a bit with regard to his overall “strategy.”)

KATIE B:

at 9:08 am, twitter user @frizzical/ posts this tweet thread, documenting her own relationship with ryan. she states that, while their relationship thankfully never turned sexual, ryan absolutely attempted to groom her into sex and even mentioned her to another girl, saying he wanted a threesome with both of them.

brief summary of the document: katie started watching his streams when she was 17, and ryan knew her by name very quickly. they started talking on snapchat shortly after she turned 18, and although it was generally rt-related, one day she reached out asking for advice on a personal situation that ryan was incredibly helpful with, leading to them talking semi-regularly. they talked about katie’s abusive home life and mental health issues, and while things were mostly platonic, ryan would sometimes drop inappropriate questions in, such as if katie was a virgin and what her sexuality was. when katie hit hard financial times, ryan attempted multiple times to send her money, and when katie refused to take charity, he would make a “joke” about having her pay it off with sex.

eventually ryan forced her to accept the money, stating that he would no longer speak to her if she didnt. ryan was katie’s main support system, and so she felt she had no choice but to accept it. she states that he sent her $1000 in total, all of which came from his twitch’s paypal. he also actively tried to turn katie against her best friend - kayla, who was the other victim mentioned on week 2, day 1 (october 11th) - by telling her that kayla was crazy, but this did not work. in 2019, katie moved in with ryan’s mod bambi, and ryan very suddenly cut off contact completely. ryan and katie got back in contact as recently as earlier this week, and when she began taking screenshots of their snap conversations, ryan dm’d her on twitter to confront her about it, further trying to manipulate her. she ends with a message of support for the other girls. 

the messages ryan sent katie are viewable in the thread, but i would like to link them directly here to show how he manipulates victims. notice how he once again pins the blame on the victim for taking screenshots, instead of himself for being a fucking creep. 

RT’S RESPONSE:

they’ve been pretty quiet the last few days, but someone noticed that the off topic podcast episode #177 has been removed from iOS podcasts. this episode is the one where the guys discuss ryan’s habit of leaving business trips a day late. i find it extremely interesting that the company is claiming ignorance of the situation, yet would remove this VERY key piece of information in the process.

OFF TOPIC #177

i originally just had this as a bulletpoint in the miscellanous info section, but decided to move it to its own segment because it is actually quite significant to this story. in this video, michael, jeremy, gavin, ray, geoff, and andy blanchard discuss ryan’s habit of always leaving business trips a day late.

quick description: michael brings up a conversation he had with ryan about staying an extra day on business trips, and paraphrases ryan as saying that he prefers to stay away longer because “[his wife] isnt gonna watch [the kids], im not gonna get a fucking second at home.” michael then states that theyve “gotten to the bottom of this,” that ryan just wants to sleep before “going home to that nightmare.” 

as michael is talking, geoff and jeremy both go quiet and look very pensive and glassy-eyed, while ray tries to joke that the quote was a “cry for help from ryan” but immediately frowns after saying so. gavin, jeremy, and andy are completely quiet for the entire second half of the video. michael tries to paper over it by saying that ryan loves his kids very much as evidenced by their frequent appearances in his streams, but a visibly-uncomfortable ray makes another “joke” that having his kids appear in his videos is “easy money.”

then there is a VERY awkward silence in which everyone looks super uncomfortable, jeremy takes a massive gulp of his drink, ray has his hand over his mouth as he stares hard at michael and shakes his head repeatedly (as if telling him to stop talking), and geoff lets out a HUGE sigh, as if he’s just realized something terrible. michael ends the clip with the comment that they didnt “jack” ryan, meaning that they werent making fun of ryan to have him come on the podcast and defend himself. (OCT. 12 EDIT: thanks to @juggey for clarifying this!) although it’s not included in this short clip, the full podcast shows that the incredibly tense moment is cut by fiona nova immediately walking on set with a puppy out of nowhere. very fucking weird.

while it is largely circumstantial, i find this clip is extremely telling, and i think this is the moment where they realized that something was going on with ryan’s homelife (either they recognized that the real reason he wanted to stay behind was to cheat, or they’d simply put together that he was not happy at home for whatever reason). the fact that this off topic is one of the only ones to have been taken down also really strikes me as important.

ALISON

at 2:31 pm, twitter user @adothop posted some screenshots of conversations between herself and ryan. they did not have a sexual relationship, but looks like ryan tried hard (and failed hard LMAO) at flirting with her, to no avail. not much else to say about this one - it’s pretty straightforward.

RYAN’S STATEMENT

at 7:48 pm (around the same time i uploaded this post, lmao), ryan posted this statement on his twitter account, discussing the events of this past week. he takes full accountability for his actions, stating that he abused his position and crossed the line as a public figure, while also asking that people stop harassing his family. the statement’s about as cookie cutter as it can get - after all, what can a person really say to absolve themselves after being outed as doing so much horrid stuff?

i again am skeptical of the claim that his family is being harassed, though i dont doubt that people are harassing HIM directly, but in any case it’s as much of a non-apology as one might expect. he even tries to shift blame by saying he “always came from a place of what [he] thought was a shared connection.” it’s boilerplate bullshit, as usual.

ANOTHER RH STORY ANON

sometime around 9 pm, a reddit user going by r/anotherrhstoryanon (i will call them anon for short) put this post on the r/roosterteeth subreddit, and linked to a 30 page google doc detailing their relationship with ryan. the timeline of this one is very difficult to parse, but i will do my best to lay it out clearly. particular tw for this story - it describes in detail sexual abuse, physical abuse, and features ddlg heavily throughout. i will not be linking any images directly - please view the doc for those.

(not-so)-brief summary: im not certain of when ryan and anon originally started talking, but the earliest message shown in their conversation is from december 2016, and the first time they met up in person was april 2017. they were “together” for at least a year, as anon states that it took them until march 2018 to begin distancing themselves from ryan. their relationship was HEAVILY steeped in dd/lg culture - ryan almost solely referred to anon as names like “little girl,” “baby girl,” even calls them “kiddo” in the VERY FIRST SCREENSHOT and asks if theyve ever been with an older man. given that he already dipped below the age of consent twice (that we know of - we currently do not know the age of this anon), this is a very horrifying start.

anon admits pretty early on - to both ryan (in the screenshots) and the reader - that they were very intimidated by him, and felt a sort of compulsion to do as he ordered. but as they say quite clearly, they realized soon into their “relationship” that even though they wanted to please ryan so he’d like them, they hated having sex with him, hated BEING sexual with him, and just generally hated being with him. although they enjoyed sex the first time, they note that sex with ryan was rough and painful every time after, leading to them tearing more than once and bleeding EVERY time, and sometimes causing them to be unable to sit or walk after. 

ryan not only ignored anon every time they asked him to be more gentle, but seemed to get off on it, making comments about how they “needed more abuse” or that they “had to work up to it.” on top of all this, ryan would not wear a condom while having sex with anon, and lied to them about them being the only fan he was having sex with - which they believed until august 2020, more than two years later, when ryan said there was “one other fan.” in actuality, ryan had been sleeping with multiple girls and often removing the condom during sex, a fact well-documented here. 

anon ends the document by tying their story to several other known facts, to show the pattern of ryan’s behavior, and sharing some other pertinent info. some of these include:

- a picture of them taken in a hotel room mirror, in an identical room and position to the picture leigh took. 

- this video, at timestamp 8:27, of the off topic podcast #87. in this short moment, ryan idly licks a cupcake. anon shows a screenshot in which ryan messaged her and admitted that he was thinking about her while he was licking it. 

- screenshots of ryan attempting (again with limited success) to give anon money or buy them presents. anon was resistant to this, as katie had been, but ryan managed to convince them to accept a remote controlled sex toy. later in the same exchange, he uses the term “plausible deniability” again. there is a reason this keeps cropping up - he very likely used the phrase often.

- a screenshot of anon telling ryan point blank that the power dynamic between them was imbalanced. this message is dated may 23rd, 2020 - and around june 12th, 2020 was leigh’s exchange with ryan, in which he tells leigh that he is older and “some kind of quasi-internet person,” and is worried this will influence her.

- screenshots of ryan admitting to choking anon without their permission. according to anon, this was not the first time he did something to them without permission, and it wasnt even the non-consensual act anon was referring to when they brought it up. i sincerely cannot overstate my fucking disgust here.

there is a lot more i can get into here, but im going to cut it off here for the sake of brevity (and out of disgust, honestly). please consider reading all 30 pages, if you can stomach it - it truly is even worse than it sounds. theres a reason i didnt link to any of their messages directly.

WEEK 2, DAY 3 (october 13th):

sometime earlier in the week (im not sure when, as the “adam kovic” aspect of the story has been pretty much lost the plot), jess kovic deletes her twitter account. the reason why is pretty easy to guess. then, sometime today, it’s discovered that she has also deleted all posts containing pictures of adam on her instagram account.

(JAN 30 EDIT: this was originally an archive link which showed all of the most recent posts on jess’s insta, of which quite a few adam ones had been deleted [i saw it myself the day it was posted]. unfortunately, it appears the archive was taken down, so ive replaced the original link with a screenshot from kiwifarms of the first person to mention it on the thread. i know thats not amazing proof, but sadly its the best i can do.)

this all but confirms that jess did not consent to having those pictures/videos sent to other people, if she consented to having them taken at all, and this makes adams actions even more disgusting than we initially believed them to be.

RH ANON PT. 2:

people are still reeling from the absolutely horrendous document released the day before (oct. 12) when anon posts a short update on the very last page of the doc, which you can read here. they clear up some points that people were confused on; most are not relevant for our purposes, but the biggest one is that anon confirms they were NOT underage during their “relationship” with ryan and that he knew this. 

anon also confirms that ryan deliberately lied about the circumstances of their “relationship” in order to keep them from backing out of it, as he knew they would not want to proceed with a sexual relationship if he admitted the truth. based on context, i am taking this to mean that he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and about wearing condoms if he did. 

MEGASHINY:

at 3:04 pm, ryan’s mod meg (who i will be calling by her username, megashiny, for the sake of clarity) posts this tweet, which contains a link to this document. in this document, she admits that ryan took advantage of his position over her (as, being his mod, she was basically his employee) and started sending her nudes without consent in september 2017 (she says it was a sunday, so either the 6th, 13th, 20th, or 27th - notice the proximity to his encounters with michelle and tessa). 

brief summary: he played the same card he had with the others, talking about his sexless marriage, and convinced megashiny to sleep with him. when she asked him point blank how many other girls he was involved with, he lied and said only one or two - as we clearly note, there were many, many more than that. she did not want to sleep with him, but like anon from yesterday, felt compelled to do what he asked. even when megashiny tried to say no to a sex act he wanted to do, he told her he “knew how to make her say yes.” he also knew about her having adhd and anxiety, and in conjunction with the other girls, strikes me as yet another continuation of his pattern of targeting mentally ill and neurodivergent women and girls.

while megashiny was somewhat close in age to ryan (she was 28 at the time), if youll notice in her picture, she is quite thin and small in stature - both of which contribute to her looking pretty young. while i do believe ryan knew her age, it would not surprise me if he pursued her because she had the APPEARANCE of being in her late teens.

megashiny posts an update later the same day, detailing the exact method weve seen happen with the other girls before - ryan would “throw all this attention and praise at [them], make [them] feel special,” only to “basically ghost [them].” this left the girls feeling like theyd done something wrong, but in actuality, it was all part of his plan to keep them dependent on and obedient to him. these same patterns crop up in every story, no matter the variables.

she also admits that she essentially helped ryan with his “sexcapades” by either covering for him, encouraging the girls to sleep with him, or just generally keeping her mouth shut regarding what she knew about them. (this part is very vaguely described, so i can only surmise what she means specifically, but i do think this is essentially what she is saying.) shortly after she posted this, ryan called her and begged her for over an hour to not divulge anymore information, and to “think of his wife and kids.” 

RYAN BEGINS MESSAGING VICTIMS: 

at 7:04 pm, michelle posts this tweet, with the caption “how it started vs how it ended (hopefully, and please stop harassing me)” and two pictures. the first picture is of her first exchange with ryan on instagram; the second picture is a more recent message from ryan (not sure exactly what day it was received, but as it still shows his old icon, it is definitely a few days old), begging her to take down her video and tweets and to “think about his kids.” (brief tw for suicide mention in the next two paragraphs.)

he even goes so far as to strongly imply that he is going to kill himself, telling michelle that he is “going to die” and that “he will die for this if you [michelle] want.” from the statement michelle made, it seems likely that he has sent her similar messages over the course of the last week. michelle must have blocked him on his original account, because he then made this throwaway account and dm’d her again, repeating the same sort of rhetoric and begging her to remove her statements “for his kids.”

in the same tweet thread, another victim, ileena (who was shown accusing ryan very early on in a previous screenshot) posts an old screenshot of a conversation between her and ryan, in which she is actively suicidal and ryan begs her not to kill herself because “practically there’s no way they wouldnt investigate and figure out you and i had stuff going on.” he straight up tells her that he doesnt want her to die because their affair will be discovered.

(note: ileena’s original screenshot contains a full, unblocked number that could potentially belong to ryan - but DO NOT CONTACT THIS NUMBER. he is a disgusting monster, but it is not anyone’s place to needlessly antagonize him, and we dont even know that that is his actual number to begin with. i am only putting this disclaimer because the screenshot is easily viewable in the thread; i wouldnt even mention it otherwise.) 

CAS:

not long after midnight, @slayercas/ (who i will refer to as “cas” for short) posts this cryptic tweet, strongly hinting at needing to say something important, but being scared to do so due to a lack of evidence - the surrounding tweets are all about ryan haywood, making it highly likely they are alluding to having been one of his victims. approximately 4 hours later, they received this message from a throwaway account, ostensibly owned by ryan.

notably, though, is the fact that this is NOT the same throwaway account which ryan was messaging michelle from - the account michelle was messaged from is @pleaseR73880233, while the account cas was messaged from, although the name is partially obscured, ends with the number “7384736.” no confirmation on cas’s claim, nor whether the account is truly ryan’s. 

(OCT. 14 EDIT: the full name seems to be @pleaseR27384736, which originally led to this cryptically bereft page. note the join date, amount of tweets, and amount of followers - the account was in use for quite some time, and may have had a different username before messaging cas. someone also takes note of the fact that there was an intern named “amber” who worked at rooster teeth years ago, but so far no connection has been made between the name and anyone else. 

sadly, this account has since been deleted, so no proper analysis of who it is following and who follows it can be done. the username has since been taken and the account replaced with this - take their personal opinion with a grain of salt.)   

MJ:

at 9:21 am, twitter user @mjmills_ posts these tweets containing these screenshots of a recent conversation with ryan. although she declines to share her story right then, she notes that ryan has been taking screenshots of their old conversations, a statement which causes ryan to message her asking “where [she is] on the hate meter” and once again trying to manipulate her. although nothing is forthcoming right away, this will pop up again later.

WEEK 2, DAY 4  (october 14th):

rt’s community manager, jackie izawa, announces her departure from the company. i cant even imagine how much shit she was inundated with after this news broke, but given that she explicitly mentions her mental health being a factor in her decision, im willing to bet it was a lot.

joel heyman also posts this incredibly eyebrow-raising tweet, clearly accusing rt staff of having known full well about ryan’s actions ahead of time. given that he was fired not long ago, it is entirely possible that he is just stirring the pot - but as he is a former rt founder, there may be some truth to his claim. if it IS true, however, then it reflects just as poorly on him, as it means that he ALSO knew about ryan and did nothing.

RYAN’S SOCIAL MEDIA:

sometime in the morning (before 11 am), ryan deletes his twitter account and his instagram. the throwaway account that was used to message michelle is also deleted around the same time, making it highly likely that it did indeed belong to ryan.

interestingly, the account that messaged cas is not deleted until much later (somewhere around 1:30-2 pm), and not before sending some more harassing messages. note the final message which says that “[his] family can’t handle another story coming out.” this strongly implies that there are even more girls than we’ve already seen - and counting every single accusation we know of, not just confirmed ones, we’ve already gotten somewhere between 10-15 girls.  

CAS PT. 2:

after some more messages from the potential ryan account, cas posts this follow-up tweet to clarify some points. she states clearly that she was NOT underage, and lives local to austin, which would explain both her fears about speaking out and how she could have encountered ryan. 

JACK AND MICHAEL:

in the early afternoon, jack and michael go live on youtube to do a stream together - but first, the monumental task of discussing ryan. (OCT. 14 EDIT: the original video was privated almost immediately after its conclusion; here is a reupload. it is sadly missing quite a few moments due to the site crashing periodically, but the majority of their conversation is there.) 

some key bits from the conversation:

- the first minute or so, both jack and michael have difficulty speaking, and stutter/stop short quite a bit before jack finally begins to talk in earnest. jack expresses disgust and regret immediately, apologizing to the community for “letting [them] down,” and thanks people who have been supportive to the victims and rt staff.

- michael point blank states that the achievement hunter staff - and probably more, also - were put into “counseling.” he does not specify whether he means LEGAL counseling or EMOTIONAL counseling, but given the way both he and jack act throughout the video, im all but certain that it’s the latter.

- jack asks that people not bother geoff, as he is “going through his own stuff,” and strongly implies that the situation with ryan has thrown him for a massive loop and possibly sent him into a downward spiral.

- michael states that they will NOT be discussing ryan at all during off-topic, and notes that they no longer want to even mention his name, let alone spend time talking about him at length (and, indeed, they do not address him by name in the video even once - jack mainly refers to him as “that guy” or “that monster,” while michael only refers to ryan as “he” or “him”). i personally am in pretty strong disagreement with the way theyve chosen to approach this, but i can understand the reasoning behind it.

- jack announces the return of rt extra life, and states that they will be doing a full week of 12 hour streams instead of one 24 hour stream “to make up for all the shit that happened this year.” 

- this is a small moment, and COMPLETE conjecture on my part, but i noticed it pretty quickly; at timestamp 14:15, when michael’s child cries off-screen, he slightly turns toward that direction, then seems to suddenly get upset and turns his face away from the camera, so his hair and hat obscure most of his profile. he seems to take a hard swallow, bites his lip (which is quivering), and rubs his face hard before turning back toward the camera. all of these things in conjunction make it seem that he was biting back tears, or otherwise chasing away some bad thought (possibly about ryan’s kids?).  

while i, as always, remain skeptical that no one knew about ryan, i do have to admit that this video is extremely saddening to watch. jack is audibly on the verge of tears for the entire 20-minute video, and michael looks absolutely miserable from beginning to end, as well - his hair is visibly unkempt under his hat, and his face is contorted into a grimace pretty much the whole time, all of which speaks to a sincere depressive state. in any case, rt as a whole has been well and truly fucked by this series of events.

SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 1:

earlier in the day, the twitter account @survivorsofryan (run by katie) received these dms from an anonymous account, stating that they were involved with ryan many years ago, around 2004/2005, and that he was still dating his girlfriend (now wife) at that time. they conclude that he has been cheating on her since at least 2004, possibly even earlier than that. note that this anonymous person also fits into ryan’s “preferred” age range of 18 or just over 18, while ryan was in his mid 20s at the time.

RYAN’S MODS 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

all of ryan’s mods (katie, bambi, freckles, and more) have their mod powers removed from his youtube and twitch channels. freckles posits an excellent question - why would he remove their mod powers instead of just simply deleting both accounts?

there arent many answers i can think of other than the obvious one - that ryan sincerely plans to return to his online career once this “blows over.” his entitlement is absolutely unthinkable.

ASTRID ROSE:

at 7:01 pm, twitter user @astridrose_20 posts this tweet containing this document, detailing her relationship with ryan. (tw for sexual abuse.) 

summary: their first contact was in late 2018, when astrid was 18. she reached out to him to thank him for his positive content and mentioned her mental health struggle and abusive home life, and ryan responded in a kind way and comforted her. they had a friendly, platonic relationship for a short while, but he soon became suggestive. initially, astrid shut down his advances due to viewing him as a father figure, but was scared that he would sever contact should she not acquiesce. feeling indebted to him for his kindness, astrid rose eventually accepted his advances. 

they sexted for some time until meeting in person in 2019. astrid told ryan she was a virgin and was not on birth control, but ryan assured her he would wear a condom. ryan was, as many girls before have mentioned, very rough and gave her no time to adjust, and removed the condom halfway through sex in spite of astrid telling him she did not want him to. much like the r/roosterteeth anon mentioned, ryan was very rough, and astrid could hardly walk after.

they met up 10 more times after this, and every meeting eventually went this way - astrid could not take pill-form bc due to it making her feel unwell, so every time ryan would promise to wear a condom, and every time he would remove it in the middle of sex. astrid also states that, like the r/roosterteeth anon, ryan did things “similar” to the choking he did to that anon, but astrid did not want to specify any more than this. 

eventually, as a result of her trauma, astrid began binge eating and gained weight. ryan apparently lost interest in her due to this and cut all contact with her, at which point she deleted all their messages and other forms of contact. 

although the story does not have any corroborating evidence, this lines up extremely well with what we have already learned about ryan, and i cant really find myself doubting any bit of it, as it all seems to fit very clearly into the picture. 

KRISTEN M/TATS:

at 8:21 pm, a community member by the name of kristen (nicknamed tats by the community - i will be referring to her as “tats”) posts this tweet containing yet another story about ryan. the story is thankfully not as horrific as some of the others, but is elucidating nonetheless.

brief summary: tats first reached out to ryan in 2013, as she had just founded the blog “fuckyeahrtfanfic” (which is exactly what it sounds like) and wanted to do a q&a with some rt cast members. ryan agreed, and after the q&a she and ryan both kept up contact. tats notes that, while ryan definitely started their relationship off similarly to that of the other girls (being kind and sweet, helping them with emotional problems, sending gifts and other such things, then progressing to sexually suggestive comments and “jokes”), things did not go the same way for her.

simply put, tats did not indulge ryan at all in the sexual stuff very much, and would either brush past it or not notice it. she notes that, after a while - primarily when the other girls, like his twitch mods, came into the picture - their interactions became shorter, more business-like, and much more rare. she concludes by wondering if there was anything she could have done had she been more knowledgeable about what was going on.

while the story is not an allegation in itself, it is indeed telling about ryan’s process, as it shows clearly what happens if the girls he spoke to didnt meet his “standards.” tats does seem grateful to have been spared a much worse fate, but she notes that big parts of her life that were populated by interactions with ryan have now been sullied, and that she feels a tremendous amount of guilt for what little involvement she had in pushing girls toward ryan (as she states that some of the people who’ve come forward were people she knew and unintentionally “placed in harm’s way”). his selfish behavior has had a massive impact that extends far beyond himself and his victims, and it’s horrific to think about.

WEEK 2, DAY 5 (october 15th):

this day was pretty uneventful, overall: only one major breakthrough that i could see.

MJ PT. 2:

at 10:46 am, MJ posts this tweet containing this google doc detailing her relationship with ryan. her story is quite different, as she is currently (as of october 15th) the only girl to have been in ryan’s age range (she was 30 at the time, ryan was 38), and was also married at the time of their relationship.

brief summary: she and ryan began talking around november 2018, and although she was married, both she and her husband were interested in pursuing a polyamorous relationship/open marriage (im not clear on exactly which, as mj uses the term “polyam,” but what she describes sounds closer to an open marriage which allows for no-strings sex outside of the relationship). mj vented to ryan about her anxieties with pursuing this kind of marriage, and ryan talked her through it and vented about his own marital troubles. they began to flirt in earnest.

in december 2018, mj approached ryan about rumors she had heard of other girls, which ryan of course denied. mj found out later that month that there were indeed others. in january 2019, ryan offered to fly her out to austin for a hook-up (using the money from his twitch account, of course). with her husbands approval, mj went in february, and they spent a while together - but when she returned home, ryan immediately ghosted her, and did not talk to her for a few weeks after. mj notes how disgusted and used she felt after the fact, but something still drew her to him, and they continued to have an on-off “relationship” until as recently as this year, where she notes that their conversations slowed basically to a halt. she ends the doc with an apology to everyone who was hurt by ryan. 

at this point, the stories are likely going to be much more of the same, as it’s clear that ryan had a predetermined system for how he’d approach these hook-ups, so i expect many more stories along these lines in the coming days. 

WEEK 2, DAY 6 (october 16th):

@slayercas/ abandons her twitter account due to continual harassment from yet another “pleaseread” account. do note that this is NOT the same account as before, since that one was deleted and then repurposed - this new one is completely barren, with only two (inexplicable) followers and no tweets or content to speak of. i am hesitant to believe that this is truly ryan, as the message really doesnt sound like something he would send at this point in time - however, i dont believe cas has faked this either (after all, why would she abandon the account if she was faking messages from ryan “for attention”?).

my outstanding theory is that someone completely unrelated has made up the account to mess with cas, as we know for sure that at least one person disbelieved cas enough to take the name of the previous account and say so in their description. on top of that, the fact that some of the numbers included are “911″ - making me think 9/11 - and “88401″ - making me think someone tried to slip in a “1488″ reference, but didnt want it to be obvious - have me skeptical that this is a real ryan throwaway. again, this is complete conjecture; please take it with a grain of salt.

SURVIVORS OF RYAN PT. 2:

at 10:25 am, @survivorsofryan posts this tweet containing this document from an anonymous person. (i will refer to them as UK anon, since that is where they are from.)

brief summary: UK anon starts off by saying that, while they did not sleep with ryan themselves, they know someone who has and is going to allow them to speak out for themselves. moving to themselves, they first spoke to ryan in march 2017, and sent him the usual “thank you for your content” message on his snapchat. they were in a discord group for RT, and apparently a few of them decided to send ryan suggestive pictures, which started off a few sexting relationships between them and him. according to UK anon, one of the discord members flew out - on their own dime - to sleep with him, while others had been sexting with him for a long time and were even still doing so recently. 

UK anon did meet ryan at rtx london in 2018, and was even brought on stage and sat next to him by lawrence sonntag (from funhaus) - she states that she’s fairly certain he recognized her, as he made it a point to be very physically close to her and to touch her quite a bit. she notes that, before this, she and many other girls had long since cut contact with him, and he’d promised he would stop the cheating and sexting with fans (which we, of course, know was a complete lie). she ends by saying that they thought they knew the truth about ryan, that he was simply a liar and cheater, but in actuality he was a sexual predator who’d been manipulating girls all along, and that this has floored her and her friends.

ON THE SPOT #80

as with off topic #177, i was going to put this in miscellaneous, but it is actually a huge moment in the context of this story. someone uncovers this moment from on the spot episode 80 (timestamp is 29:40 if the link doesnt work), in which burnie, barbara, jeremy, and ryan are playing “never have i ever,” and jon puts forth the prompt “never have i ever sent nude pics.” ryan takes a big swig, as does jeremy, and jon presses it by asking both of them if the nudes were sent to “someone other than [their wives].” ryan states that hes “not having this conversation” and that he had a life before he was married, to which barbara “jokingly” responds, “and after!”

burnie, however, looks a bit perturbed and says, “you had a life before your wife before camera phones?” to which ryan responds, “email existed back then, and camera phones.” that seems to cover it, you would think, EXCEPT that ryan is telling an out and out lie.

firstly, as we clearly know, he was sexting many more people than his wife, and quite recently. it was stupid of him to not just lie and say no, honestly, but i think weve come to realize ryan is not that bright. secondly, while ryan got married in 2007, he was dating his wife for a few years before that, as this anonymous contributor confirmed days ago - he was already dating his wife in 2004, when he had an affair with the anon. 

third, he is correct that camera phones and email existed back then - however, the average phone at that time did NOT have a camera, and the ones that did capped at 1.3 megapixels, which tended to look something like this. (forgive the random picture; its all i could find to show what i meant.) note how grainy and small the image is, and also take into consideration that this would have been the camera on a top-of-the-line phone in 2004, NOT the sort of phone the average person would have owned. this is assuming 2004 is the latest year he could have sent such pictures to someone without being in a relationship with his wife; camera phones were almost unheard of pre-2003, so his story completely falls apart there. 

he does have a point about the email aspect, but if we are sincerely considering that he may not be lying here, this would mean that he was finding people online to send nudes to (in a VERY pre-social media world; this wouldve been on like, bbs sites, or miscellaneous blogs/homepages, so it wouldve required some serious searching), taking nudes on a digital camera, manually uploading all the pictures to his computer, sorting out the nudes of choice, and then sending them. i dont think i need to go much further into this to show how quickly the basic concept of this falls apart.

WEEK 2, DAY 7 (october 17th):

not much to say in terms of ryan/his victims so far today, but i think this is relevant, so im going to include it - we instead get a surprise tweet from trevor collins, who was previously accused of cheating on and abusing his ex gf, which contains this statement basically refuting the claims entirely with many screenshots. 

i know absolutely nothing about the original trevor accusation, as i was no longer watching rt when trevor joined the crew and had long since lost interest in rt by the time the accusations began going around, so i cannot speak to the veracity of anything said in here, or of the original accusation. i will decline to state my personal opinion on the document, and instead just link it for you all to peruse. 

CAS PT. 2:

at 7:48 pm, @slayercas/ (OCT. 21 EDIT: the account name is now @otpineedyou) posts this tweet containing a document, describing their own story with ryan. 

brief summary: cas informs us out the gate that she was NOT underage, but rather in her late 20s during all this. she reached out to him to thank him for his content, to which ryan responded in a flirtatious way. things quickly escalated to full on sexting from there. when ryan asked if cas wanted to meet in person, she initially declined, but continued talking to him sexually after he confessed to having an open marriage (and cas notes that he did not say this until after she stated that she was in an open relationship herself). cas shared a story regarding a sexual trauma she had with ryan, which he seemed to empathize with.

once they began talking about dom/sub stuff, ryan got more aggressive in tone, and often brought up things like extreme roughness and choking. if cas asked ryan to stop bringing up things that were traumatic, he would apologize but continue to do so anyway. cas became uncomfortable and decided to forgo all sexual conversations with ryan; if he brought up something suggestive, she would either make an excuse to go or change the subject. he tried to guilt trip her into talking to him, but she did not budge, and eventually had to delete all rt-related accounts to put distance between him and herself. she closes with a message of positivity for others in the same situation.

ANON-2:

around 10 pm, this post is made on r/roosterteeth containing this document. although it is also about ryan, a sizable portion of the doc focuses on the anon’s experience with geoff. (i will be calling them anon-2 just for the sake of intelligiblity. i cant link pictures, so please check the doc for those.) 

brief summary: anon-2 was in their early-mid 20s (in mid 2016) when they discovered rt, and decided to send a snap to all of the cast members who had open snap accounts. ryan replied and, although things started out normal, they quickly became suggestive. at the same time, though, geoff also began talking to anon-2 and things also became flirty with them. they did exchange nudes and sext quite often while geoff was still married, but says they never slept with geoff themselves, although they knew others who did.  

anon-2 ended up hooking up with ryan in person, and as with the other girls, he lied about not sleeping with anyone else, and insisted on not using a condom. they had sex multiple times that weekend, and anon-2 confirms that, like the other girls claimed, ryan was incredibly rough and violent with sex. anon-2 then proceeds to share many screenshots and unseen pictures of ryan, and in addition, provides messages from as recently as october 10th, where she goads him into talking about what all happened. ryan confirms he has spoken to a pr agent and a lawyer, and then makes a very weird non-joke about possibly needing an “anchor marriage” to get out of the country, implying he would ask anon-2 to do this for him. anon-2 finishes the main part of the doc by saying she knows ryan has been seeking out sex from craigslist, and that she was just a part of his grand manipulation scheme all along.

WEEK 3, DAY 1 (october 18th):

barely after midnight, we get yet another r/roosterteeth anon, posting a document detailing their relationship with ryan. much like the others, we can see that ryan followed the same pattern of flattery and kindness, getting them to talk about their mental health issues, goading them into doing things they were not comfortable with, and eventually dropping them when he realized he could not manipulate them like the others. not much else to say about it, but i wanted to catalogue it all the same.

ANON-2 PT. 2:

an update is added to anon-2′s google doc, at the end of page 13, addressing the geoff side of their post. they post candids of geoff in a hotel room, sent to them by a friend who’d slept with geoff. they add a third update later the same day, insisting that, like the girls, geoff had no clue that ryan was a sexual predator. anon-2 goes on to add that geoff never mentioned anything about his wife knowing about his sleeping around, but states that they will not be sharing more information unless given permission to do so from the girls affected. lastly, she begs people to stop hassling millie, geoff’s underage daughter. 

GEOFF’S STATEMENT:

not long after anon-2′s update, geoff releases this statement on r/roosterteeth. he basically lays everything out, saying that he did indeed sext with and have sex with some fans during a period in his marriage where they were trying an open relationship, but that he felt uncomfortable with the imbalance due to the fans knowing so much about him and he so little about them. he goes onto say that he has taken a step back from rt due to extreme stress and mental health issues, and that he has not spoken about the ryan situation due to how overwhelming and upsetting it is. he closes by asking that people not drag his daughter and ex-wife into things, and leave all blame for him.

i am extremely mixed on this; on the one hand, geoff is an extremely skilled writer and speaker, and that is very clear in this document. he makes a point to share - almost to the point of oversharing - the situation between him and his then-wife to explain why he was associating with fans, and then moves past that to discuss his tumultuous personal life. however, he does not address the question of any age differences between him and these fans, and just refers to it as “two consenting adults ... getting to know each other.” 

although this all seems well and good, one huge spanner was thrown into geoff’s story here; this tweet from michelle vologs, which states that ryan explicitly told her that geoff was engaging sexually with fans, and possibly knew some of ryan’s stories himself. notice that the anonymous replier, who is concurring with what michelle said, is the same anonymous twitter account who contacted ryan and adam on september 18th about their nudes leak - several WEEKS before the news dropped publicly. 

although originally i was willing to believe what geoff had to say, as there was little conflicting evidence, michelle’s statement gives me extreme pause. if geoff was sleeping with enough fans that ryan knew about it, the chances of ryan not having mentioned his own experiences is very low - and on top of that, ryan has little to no reason to lie about this, as telling the truth would have actually been detrimental to his career, on the off-chance someone blabbed and it made its way back to geoff. so i am highly skeptical of the whole document.

WEEKS 3-11 (october 19th to january 2nd):

complete radio silence from ryan and adam both for a little under three months. as ryan was stated to have hired a pr agent and/or a lawyer amidst the initial scandal, its pretty easy to surmise that he was advised to just shut up and let things die down, and therefore did so. adam had gone quiet for a much longer time, so it was assumed he would not speak out again. however, people still felt that ryan was likely to try and make a comeback eventually. and, well...

WEEK 11, DAY 1 (january 3rd):

freckles, one of ryans former mods, posts this tweet containing this statement from ryan to his remaining subscribers, thanking them for sticking around and vaguely addressing “what a tough year its been” for him. unsurprisingly, this is met with IMMEDIATE retribution, as the message served as a reminder that a) many people forgot to unsubscribe and unfollow in the initial situation, and b) that ryan was still getting paid by twitch the entire time he was being ousted. this, of course, led to calls for ryan to be banned from twitch completely, given that it was his main vehicle for finding and grooming his victims.

it is unknown why he decided to do this, as it is transparently very stupid, but i think the entire series of events has made it quite clear that ryan is not only unintelligent, but EXTREMELY entitled - ryan couldnt last even a week into the new year before trying to lay the groundwork to return to his career, whereas adam managed to go quiet much earlier and remain that way for a much longer time, to let things cool off more significantly.

WEEK 11, DAY 6 (january 8th):

early in the morning, the owner of kiwifarms, null, posts a thread stating that adam kovic has reached out demanding the removal of his and jess kovic’s nude photos and videos. (reminder that i will not be linking to any threads on kf directly - you will have to seek those out for yourself.) 

recall that, in the initial days of the scandal, the vast majority of the attention was on adam instead of ryan - and that was because of the sheer magnitude of his leaked photos, as well as the question of his wifes consent to their distribution (as most of the pictures/videos of her were taken from behind; with the benefit of hindsight, we can say fairly safely that she probably did not consent to the distribution, and possibly not their being taken either). 

im not exactly sure on the legality of the situation, as null did not leak the photos himself but is allowing them to be hosted on his website, and adam himself would likely be found guilty of revenge porn due to him having been the one to send pictures of his wife without her permission in the first place. as for the pictures of adam himself, i would assume that null is somehow protected from prosecution or else i believe he would have already taken them down. the morality of leaving them up is EXTREMELY questionable, and i would say it probably is tipping over the line into morally wrong, but morality holds very little sway legally and so adam may not actually have any recourse here.

WEEK 13, DAY 4 (january 20th)

in the afternoon, its confirmed by twitter account @streamerbans that ryan haywood has been permabanned from twitch, and has lost his partnership with the website as well. this is obviously SUPER fucking late, as the crux of the scandal happened months ago (in october), but better late than never, i suppose.

his ban seems to be a natural consequence of two things: the obvious catalyst is his VERY bold message to his subscriber, but beyond that, twitch has also updated their rules and codes of conduct to address their handling of sexual harassment on their platform, from fans and streamers alike, and ryans actions fall very clearly over the line of acceptability. while its unknown whether ryans actions have anything to do with the drafting of some of the new rules - the rule against “attempting to coerce others into sexual favors via bribes” specifically seems VERY pointed at him - it is likely that twitch was already drafting these rules before the situation occurred, and ryans doings simply expedited their being put into effect.

in any case, the only sad part of this is how long it took; ryan was getting free money off of his fans who hadnt or couldnt unsubscribe for three months before this ban and the loss of his partnership were put into effect, which is very upsetting, but there isnt much that can be done about it now.

(JAN 30 EDIT: as you can tell, the situation has severely petered out from where it began; originally there were new updates and more information on a daily, almost hourly basis, and so it was necessary to break the story up day by day to get everything. since that is no longer the case, i will not be filling in any gaps between time periods; if something else happens two weeks from now, i will not try to fill in the two week silence, and will just skip to the next big event. apologies if this makes timelines confusing, but ive added weeks AND days to each event to make them easier to follow, so hopefully that helps.

any further updates to this post will go here, to keep the timeline together. everything below this line is optional reading, but i do highly recommend it, as it provides a lot of background context.)

-----

MISCELLANEOUS INFO

this is just a section for anything i think is contextually relevant that doesnt really fit anywhere else, or stuff that is not confirmed but highly suspicious. most of this will provide elucidating background for everything that went down, but none of it is necessary to read. 

LOOKING BACK AT RYAN’S CONTENT:

because of how blindsiding these events have been, people began questioning if there were any tells that we as viewers missed over the years, and began going through old videos and other content to find anything of interest. ill link any relevant videos here with a brief summary of why theyre noteworthy:

- this video features ryan encouraging fans to do “whatever [they] need to get [themselves] to finish” (in reference to masturbating), and when trevor states that “there are laws that constrain us,” ryan says that “as long as you do it [in your head], it’s fine.” here he is clearly justifying his own actions to himself.

- this clip of ryan singing “black or white” by michael jackson, but he changes the lyrics to, “thing about my baby, it dont matter if youre black or white - or 12, or 9, or 8.” yeah.... i dont really need to say much else about that i dont think

- this post about ryan’s cover letter from his initial application to rt. the comment about “that sexy, deep voice that ladies love” wouldve been gross even without context, but with it, it appears that playing casanova with fans may have been his intent from the beginning.

- another video in which ryan “misses his flight because of uber.” he states that he missed his flight because the uber driver who was supposed to arrive didnt want to come and asked him to cancel the drive, forcing him to wait for another driver to be available. while they dont say explicitly, i am fairly certain hes talking about returning from pax west in seattle, which took place in early september - around the time that many of these stories (like tessa’s and michelle’s) take place. more likely than not, he fully lied about this story and was actually late because he was hooking up with a fan.

WHY 2017?:

if you’re paying attention to dates, you may notice that almost all of these events transpired - or began - in 2017. there are a few theories as to why, but ultimately i think the answer is quite simple; 2017 is when ryan made an instagram account, and is likely when he had the most direct access to fans. as was noted, he has had twitter for years and his snapchat was created probably a year or two before, and yet there are little to no stories taking place before 2017. most likely, his making an instagram account saw an influx of messages from fans, primarily teenage girls - a huge demographic on insta - and gave him a platform to begin the grooming process without anyone suspecting him.

CONJECTURE PT. 1: THE MEGGENING:

people began to speculate if ryan and meg are/were having an affair, as they spent quite a bit of time together for work, went on a trip to japan alone together, and have been the center of many a “joke” regarding their relationship, to the point of it sincerely bothering gavin (meg’s boyfriend). there are several clips of the achievement hunter guys making jokes about ryan and meg sleeping together behind gavin’s back, but heres one clip of them doing so with gavin in the room. notice his genuinely uncomfortable reaction.

initially i was ready to write this off as “women evil” conjecture, but honestly after looking into it a bit, i can sincerely see what people are talking about. as i said earlier, i find meg’s statement incredibly suspicious - the fact that she explicitly denies any knowledge of ryan’s doings even though that SHOULD go without saying, and that her message doesnt actually say anything negative about ryan or what he did at all, makes me feel extremely wary of her. 

OCT. 12 EDIT: either yesterday or the day before, meg privated most of the highlights from her japan trip with ryan, but a few of them were luckily archived. here they are, if you’re curious: japan #1, japan #2, japan #3.

CONJECTURE PT. 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO:

in early february, its discovered that ryan haywoods home is up for sale, and has been for quite a while. (i will not be linking the listing for obvious reasons.) the house had been on the market for 63 days at that time, placing its initial listing date in very early december - that would only be two months after the initial story broke. on top of that, with the inclusion of the amount of time it takes to find a realtor and begin the selling process, the selling of the house was likely initiated in mid-to-late november, if not sooner.

there are multiple potential explanations for the selling of the house, of course - its possible they could no longer afford the upkeep due to ryan losing his highly lucrative job, or its possible that they moved to escape harassment from others. i find both of these fairly implausible for different reasons: the former because ryans wife also has a fairly high-paying job, and unless ryan is a complete dumbass, they certainly have enough money saved up to remain in that house if they wanted to. in addition, i find the latter implausible because its highly unlikely anyone was going to their house directly, as i think ryan would definitely have played the victim publicly over something like that.

the most obvious answer to me, given how quickly the house was put up for sale, is that the two have begun divorce proceedings and thus sold the house. finances as a motivator make no sense to me due to the speed with which the house was put up - its highly unlikely they blew through all of their savings in a month - and if they were staying together as a couple, it wouldnt make sense to vacate their home for no reason. of course, this is complete conjecture (thus the header LMAO), but it is interesting to note as it comes into direct contradiction with ryans claims of going to couples therapy with his wife.

RYAN’S TACTICS:

due to the number of accusations against ryan now, a pretty clear picture is painted of him and how he operates. a few things become clear when you put all of this information together. lets break it down bit by bit.

first: the girls. as i mentioned before, michelle notes in her video that ryan seemed to target young girls who were either insecure about themselves/their bodies, or had mental health issues. that pattern does seem to hold up, as all seven of the major accusers (tessa, michelle, leigh, kayla, katie, anon, and megashiny) openly discuss dealing with one or both of these issues in their respective stories. it’s almost undeniable that ryan pursued these types of girls on purpose in order to manipulate them more easily, as well as to have plausible deniability when confronted about them - a phrase which multiple girls have used in reference to him.

second: the method. ryan seems to have consistently used the exact same method of manipulating each of the girls. it goes pretty much like this:

- in early conversations, he is sweet and invested in the girl. once they are a bit more comfortable, he begins to “flirt,” making sexual comments and “jokes” to slowly but surely convince them to sext and exchange nudes with him.

- at the same time, he is sure to tell everyone he knows (mods and the like) about how “crazy” his girl of the week is, guaranteeing that she will not be believed should she try to tell someone what is going on between them

- once the conversations turn sexual, his demeanor changes completely, and he starts to become distant. conversations with him become infrequent to make the girl feel miserable when he is away and over the moon when he decides to talk to her, thus maintaining the constant star-struck feeling and ensuring that she is always just a bit more eager to do what he asks in order to keep him around

- he makes sure to litter conversations with comments about how much he loves his wife and kids, thus ensuring that the girl feels too guilty to let anyone know whats going on at the risk of damaging his relationship with his family

- once he has the girls backed into this corner, he begins reaching out only to talk about sex and to schedule in-person hook ups, and will not talk to the girls otherwise. this goes on over and over until he gets bored or the girl cuts contact with him.

he is consistent with this “defaming, denial, degrading” method, as we can see every single girl make reference to him treating them in the same way. from this, we can conclude one thing - he has a system. he has done this before, and he knows it works. even the girl with the most different experience, katie, was clearly being groomed and sexually coerced with the promise of payment, but when she did not budge ryan switched over to straight up financial manipulation, forcing her to take the money - and therefore making her financially beholden to him - and threatening her with cut contact should she not accept.

ryan also tried to isolate katie from her best friend, kayla, in an effort to prevent her from noticing that he was manipulating and grooming kayla for sex as well, and given that kayla was bullied so thoroughly in HIS community that he was one of the only people she felt safe around, it’s no wonder why he refused to deal with the situation when trick brought it up to him. these are straight up abuser tactics, and while i hesitate to throw that word around, it is clear that ryan is a dangerous, emotionally manipulative sexual predator, who specifically targeted young girls with little to no experience with sex and relationships. he is disgusting, and cruel, and i pray that he experiences the pain he inflicted on these girls ten times over.

#roosterteeth #rooster teeth #ryan haywood #adam kovic #long post #REALLY fucking long. im not even kidding #let me know if the under the cut thing is broken again and ill just make a google doc #cause wow #anyway ryan haywood is a piece of shit and belongs in jail and thats that on that #dark lord saltine

[nctworststuff]

Pairing- Boyfriend!Renjun x nospecific!reader

Warning-Death,Cancer

Genre: Angst

a/n: Here what you guys got after a months I’m not post anything. Also Thank you my friend,Lucy because helping me a lot :). Hope you guys like it

He always with you

He avoided meeting with you lately. You missed to spend time with him so much. You missed his scent, his hugs, his kisses, his presence, but most importantly, you missed him.

You recently spent a lot of time in your apartment, all by yourself. Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate and staying under your fluffy blanket. Sometimes you went to hangout with your friends, but not as often as you used to. However, today you couldn't take it anymore. I have to visit him, now!

Deep inside you knew that he would never cheat on you. What if something bad had happen to him? Maybe he got sick or maybe something in his family came up? You didn't know. Helplessly you scrolled through your media social. Usually, he would be active on Instagram. Always adding things to his story or at least posting the pictures he made. But ever since 3 weeks ago, you haven't seen him post a single thing. As if he vanished.

You took a look at your photo gallery on your phone. It's filled with pictures of you and Renjun. Everytime the two of you had met in the past months, you had taken at least one picture. Are you okay, renjun?

You didn't want to waste your time anymore, so you walked into your bedroom to change your outfit. You arrived at his house that felt like a second home to you. Big dark clouds covered the sky and sun. It may rain soon. You slowly walked to the door and opened it with the spare key Renjun gave you not so long ago.

You couldn't see him when you entered. Maybe he is in his bedroom? You steped further into his apartment. It was a big mess. You tried to comprehend what could've happened here. The TV was on, adding some noise to the otherwise quiet space. Some old snacks that have neither been fully eaten nor thrown away, covered the floor. It surely wasn't healthy for him to life in all this trash.

You finally went upstairs and pressed the door handle down slowly after knocking and getting no reply. Who knows, maybe he's sleeping? However  you suddenly heard a faint crying sound instead of the silence. What's happening to him? Thousands of thoughts were running in your head, creating one scenario worse than the other. "Renjun?" You softly called out his name and fully opened the door. He turned his head and body to look at you, surprised by your arrival. His eyes were more red than white and his face looked as white as freshly fallen snow did.

"Y/n? W-what are you doing here?" He looked at you with what you could only assume was an angered expression. You slowly approached him and sat down on his mattress beside him. You hesitantly leaned your head on his shoulder and put your hand on his thigh, joining his own one. Oh, how often you had fiddled with his slender fingers before. They were just as beautiful as the art they created, but now they were just dried skin and bone. You were convinced, something bad happen to him!

"And why are you crying?", you asked him in return, probably a bit too late, but not that it matered anyways. He kept quiet for about a minute, before taking a deep breath and forcing those awful words out of his mouth. "I have a disease! I-I have cancer..." He closed his eyes tightly to hold himself back from sobbing. The fear that lived within him ever since the doctor told him he was going to die earlier than expected, suddenly skyrocket in your presence.

Shutting you out in the hope of making you forget him, had been so much easier than seeing your heart break right in front of him. You didn't deserve the pain he caused you, so why...? Why are you still here y/n? Why couldn't you stay away from me? "So that's the reason why you pushed me away? The reason you avoided me? Why didn't you tell me? Renjun? Explain it to me. Please explain everything." you looked at his eyes that beared so many emotions, while he bit his chapped lips.

"I-I don't know. I... I was just so, so scared. Actually, I-I knew I had cancer... It... They told me a year ago."

His confession was interrupted by a hiccup. He started crying again and put his hand on his face. You've been together for 3 years and he kept this a secret for all the time, telling you just now? "I-I'm only going to live for one more week. My doctor said there is no other way for me." Why? Why did he need to leave like this? Couldn't he be healthy and grow old with me? Searching in your confused and helpless mind you looked for a solution.

"Hey, i-it's okay. Its not your fault! I-I could spend all my money for your surge-", but he cut you off with a harsh movement by his hand. "You heard what I said. There's no chance, y/n!" Now your eyes were filling with tears, blurring your sight. This can't be true! "You said you would never leave me. You- You promised." The tears poured out of their home, painting a wet line down your cheeks until they dropped down your chin, falling. You too, felt like falling. You were so angry, but not at him, no, he didn't wanted this either. You were angry at the situation. At the fact that you couldn't do Anything.

Watching your little emotional breakdown, Renjun stayed quiet. After he had avoided meeting you for so long, seeing you come back to him, crying with him, still caring for him, there was only one thing he wanted. "Y/n? Can I ask for one last thing, before death is taking me?" He moved his hand to your shoulder, pressing it softly. "Anything for you, Renjun!" You desperately looked into his eyes, meeting his softened expression. "I just want to spend my last week with you. Please. One last time?"

Day 2

Standing in the kitchen for about half an hour, you had made a healthy breakfast for the two of you, since he loved your cooking. You poured some hot porridge into his favourite bowl and placed it on the tray. Walking slowly to not drop anything you brought the food to his bedroom. He was still asleep, looking utterly peaceful.

While you put the tray on a near small table, you called his name softly, to wake him up. Upon hearing his name, his eyelids fluttered open. Still a bit sleepy, he rubbed his eyes and gave you a questioning look. "I made some porridge for you. Should I... feed you?" You smiled at him shyly. He could just nod his head, feeling exhausted even after taking such a long nap.

You sat down beside him and took the spoon to feed him. He followed your every move as you put the still warm porridge in his mouth. A big smile suddenly stretched across his cheeks. "I knew your cooking would never disappoint me!", he complimented, making you giggle. Yet, you couldn't ignore the sad feeling in your chest, knowing you had to accept the fact that he was going to die soon. Only five days would be left after today.

Of course Renjun noticed the way your expression changed. “I dont like to see you sad. Please smile for me” He grabbed your other hand too, making you smile. The smile only he got to see. You don't even know if the sweet smile you were currently wearing on your face would show up for another guy, but for now it seems like it is just for Renjun, who finally noticed the bracelet on your wrist.

"You still wear that bracelet?” His eyes fixated on your wrist. You just watched him with sparkling eyes, while thinking back to how you got that gift.  “Of course! It looks so pretty and it bears a lot of memories for me!” He smiled at you with just the same sparkles glowing in his eyes, making your heart beat unbelievable fast in your chest. You didn't knew why, but the comforting feeling of love, the love created between the two of you, filled your now shared room. Softly touching your own cheeks you felt how they heated up.

“It's- wait... I gave you the bracelet 5 years ago, when it was your birthday? A-and we still didn't turn into lovers that day, did we?”, his eyes widened. You simply nodded and started chuckling, him joining not much later. Of course you could still remember the day he gave you the precious bracelet. He was being so shy back then, when he planned to give it to you. Haechan, Mark and all the other dreamies kept hyping him up, after he gave it to you.

“You know what? I really can't believe our relationship will just end soon. I really thought we would last longer. I'm sorry!” He smiled at you again, but this time it was a sad smile. You sighed, closing your eyes in agony. “It's not your fault, it never was, Renjun! After all, these moments are the most precious ones that we have. Trust me, I will love and remember you until I take my last breath!” I'll really do! Besides bringing it up first, you hated talking about his disease so much.

Not because you blamed it on him. Not because you couldn't believe, he was going to die soon, no. You hated talking about it because you feared being left behind. You hated the fact that you'll eventually forget about him. That you'll forget how he smelled, how his hands felt, how his hugs felt. And the worst thing was, that you'll forget how it felt to be loved by him. When did all your laughter turn into cries?

Day 4

"Look! It's your favourite flower!” Renjun points his finger to a small bunch of flowers in the middle of the park. You loved going to this park with him before and today wasn't any different. Softly swining your linked hands back and forth and slowly walking near your favourite flower felt like one of those cliché moments from a drama. Especially when you kneeled down to smell on it.

The heavy, but lively smell of the rose lingered in your nose, bringing up even more memories. Renjun gave you one of those exact roses, when he had confessed that he liked you. A small grin made it's way to your lips. “It looks so pretty.”, Renjun said while putting his arm around your shoulders, “Pretty like you!” You couldn't help, but roll your eyes. This was typically him. Renjun loved to compliment and tease you at the same time

You loved the moments when he was simply being himself. He was acting different. Usually he would be rather harsh, or how people liked to put it, ignorant towards other people’s feelings. But he always cared for you. You were his soft spot. It was only normal that couples had little fights from time to time, but renjun never let the two of you be angry at each other for a long time.

He always was the first one to apologize, or if it wasn’t his mistake, he would still want to make up, inviting you to do something that you liked. His classic line which always worked was weather you would want to eat some food ugh him. It was one of the many personality traits that you liked about him

“Ah! I really want to draw the pond and swan over there! It’s unbelievable pretty!” He excitedly took out his paintings tools and moved the stuff around until it stood perfectly within his reach while drawing. You just followed him and tried to not get in his way.

Tipping the smallest brush into the water glass, he started to draw the perfect scenery in front of you. He truly was talented at this. You couldn’t help but admire the way he let the colors dance on the Canva “Your drawing is so unbelievable. It really does look like it’s real”

His face lit up,once the words left your mouth “This is the last painting I”ll before I’m gone. I want it to be perfect!”he still smiled at you, but his eyes showed how he truly felt. The sadness dominating any other feels. Once again, you sighed. It has been almost 3 years, since you’ve been a couple and now you two just stood there, waiting for him to leave

Quickly noticed How your mood shifted towards a bad one, you tried to change the topic

There will be enough time for me to sad once he left

“Do you remember that this place is the first place we met and-“ “The place where I confessed my feelings for you?” He finished your sentence with a smirk. Chuckling you nodded at the statement

That day he called you and asked you to meet him at the park “ can you cell me?” was that he said, when he actually was going to confess to you. You can’t forget that day. You never will. It’s a very precious moment to you, even if he stuttered a lot and the confession felt really awkward too

“Your birthday is this week, isn’t it?” Renjun suddenly asked. You stopping your thoughts. Right, you totally forgot about your birthday. Surprised you just hummed and nodded. “What do you want for your birthday?” You didn’t need to think twice “I just want you stay alive and healthy. I wish you could always be my side” you smile confidently

That will never happen

It was obvious to renjun, but to avoid you sadder he just smile sweetly at you instead of responding “Can we go somewhere after this? Maybe the shopping mall?” You asked him. He looked at you and hugged you close to his chest “Of course!”

He would spend his time with you wisely and make sure that every precious and special moment will never be forgotten

Day 7

I can't lose him! Please!

You buried your face into his shoulder and grabbed his sweater like your own life depended on holding it. You couldn't believe he was going to die in less than a day. He couldn't... Your fragile, pathetic hope only faded more when he started coughing. In the last few days his condition extremely worsened and you tried to understand why people needed to suffer before dying so much. Isn't death enough?

“It's your birthday tomorrow, isn't it?”, he quietly asked while stroking your back.  “Yes” Your answer was barely loud enough to hear, being muffled by his neck. Still, you hugged him only tighter, afraid of finally losing him. “Y/n, I'm so sorry if I'm not able to be with you tomorrow to celebrate your birthday.” You knew what’s he meant. No, this couldn't be happening! Why were you suddenly to dumb to accept it?

“Please find a better guy than me. A guy who will make you happy, who will stay loyal to you and only loves you. Find a guy who will stay by your side forever. Don't find another guy who'll make you feel dissapointed.” You wanted to tell him, that he never disappointed you, but he already pulled you into a sweet kiss. His lips felt so soft. Soft but rough. It was like your first kiss with him. It was like your first night with him. But in reality, it was your last kiss with him. Yet you saw it as another moment that had been created in this special time.

“You know... I am never going to stop loving you!” You said and looked at him. His face was so pale, you could see the soft blue shining through it. “Me too, honey. There are 7 billion people on this earth but I fell in love with you. We have been a long journey together. Everyone can fall in love but not everyone has a happy ending with it. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my promise, Y/n!” I know, Renjun.

The worst part for you was that it all happened so fast. But somehow you still hoped this was only a dream. That you would wake up to a healthy Renjun wishing you a happy birthday. Finally the clock was showing 12 AM. It was your birthday. Sounding just as sleepy as you felt he whispered a soft “Happy birthday, Y/n!” He stroked your hair while looking at you with loving eyes, a smile on his lips for the last time, before you both fall asleep under your shared blanket.

Not knowing, that they were his last words.

Day 8

You woke up from a deep slumber and moved your blanket. You saw that Renjun was still ‘sleeping’. Softly you shaked him to wake him up, with no sign of success. He didn't response in any way. After a few more times of you trying to wake him up and him still not moving an inch, you tried to recall which date it was today.

No, it can't be.

Yesterday was the last day you would spend with him. One week. Seven days. All moved by faster than you could remember. In your final hope you searched for his heartbeat, but you didn't hear anything. You couldn't. Now you would need to accept the fact that he was gone. Forever.

You start sobbing. "Renjun, please wake up. Please!" Despite your wobbly arms, you shook his body, screaming so uncontrollably loud that it even hurt your ears. It's my birthday. Today is supposed to be a happy day. This has to be a nightmare. I'll always be by your side. Resonating in your mind you hear a faint voice, but you just ignore it. Renjun was right. Not everyone has a happy ending. And you were certainly one of them.

I'm sorry for breaking our promise

©ɴᴄᴛᴡᴏʀsᴛsᴛᴜғғ@/ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ

#nct 127 #nct dream #nct #nct u #nct 2021 #nct imagines #nct angst #nct scenarios #renjun #nct drabbles #renjun drabbles #renjun angst #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #renjun x reader #nct x reader #nctzen #nct 2020

[lady-charinette]

Adrien Agreste =/= Sociopath - About Adrien Salt

I've seen a lot of posts going around about Adrien being a sociopath or the other (harasser, abuser...etc.)

What I find most of those posts lacking is looking at the big picture, or just zeroing in on certain moments of the show and even disregarding the context of those selected moments to unfairly rule judgement on a child (in canon) no less.

Definition of sociopath: A sociopath is a term used to describe someone who has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). People with ASPD can’t understand others’ feelings. They’ll often break rules or make impulsive decisions without feeling guilty for the harm they cause.

People with ASPD may also use “mind games” to control friends, family members, co-workers, and even strangers. They may also be perceived as charismatic or charming.

We have to analyze the context and the surroundings Adrien is in.

Family, social life, relationships (platonic and romantic), personality, age, environment...etc.

Family:

We know Adrien has a father who is controlling, preferring to micro-manage every aspect of his son's life to continue to have a semblance of control at all times. We assume (heavily implied in the show), that his mother was kind, warm and emotional (whether that emotional is the "out-there" kind her twin sister has, it remains to be seen.)

According to a snippet from "Simon Says", Adrien also has "Quite a temper, you remind me of someone" according to Gabriel's own words, we can assume the "someone" is Emilie, Gabriel says this when Chat Noir refused to follow his orders and told him to basically "get off his high horse". In this context, anyone who defies Gabriel in such a way would either be branded as "disobedient" or to "have quite a temper".

According to Adrien himself in "Adrien's Double Life" (from Miraculous Secrets) he describes being Chat Noir as "...I can finally do whatever I want to do, say whatever comes to mind." He doesnt feel as restricted and controlled since that's the one aspect of his life his father has no knowledge of.

Social life:

Adrien has had no or very little interaction with peers.

Evidence: Chloe being his childhood friend. Felix commenting on Chloe's appearance in the video she sent for Adrien's birthday, saying "Chloe. Just as annoying as usual." suggests he knows her from before, maybe even as early on as their childhood days.

This makes Felix and Chloe the only kids, of spoiled and rich background, with whom Adrien interacted.

Felix is shown to be good at manipulating people and keeping up appearances (potentially connected to insecurities within the family? Not confirmed), Chloe is openly mean and bullies others (with underlying insecurities also connected to her parents).

The only positive adult (if Gorilla isn't as involved and Nathalie had been solely Gabriel's secretary and not Adrien's caretaker since there was Emilie) in Adrien's life would be his mother, who also fell into a coma during Adrien's formative years (and still during a time where he's figuring himself and his emotions out: puberty), leaving him with his father.

Moving on, even if the writer's sometimes may not always successfully show Adrien being awkward in social interactions, it doesnt mean they dont exist.

This interaction between him and Marinette, asking for her autograph, very formal in his question, awkward in posture:

He's picked up on some speech patterns from his frequent interactions with Nino ("dude", "Hey man." "Totally dude.") showing he's, like many people, mimicking his friend's behavior and speech to grow more favorably in their eyes.

The same pattern can be observed with Gabriel and Adrien: Adrien adopts his father's formal speech whenever talking to him, since that appeases him.

Adrien has had very limited friendly interactions with his peers, romantic interactions are basically non-existent. The scenes where Adrien is being chased by his fans, who obsessively adore him, cant be linked to Adrien experiencing healthy romantic contact (Lila doesn't count since she only uses Adrien to further her goals). Marinette doesn't count since Adrien's isn't even aware of her romantic feelings for him. (Again, difficulties picking up social cues due to only ever being homeschooled > limited social contact with peers)

So no, in my humble opinion, Adrien sometimes doesn't understand other people's feelings not because he's a sociopath, but because he's an awkward kid with very little experience about making friends and having healthy relationships with them.

Relationships:

Let's be direct here: Gabriel is an abusive as*hole.

If the writer's wanted to show Gabriel struggling or having remorse for his actions being Hawkmoth and putting his son through danger, well... They blew it. "Gorizilla" was a 5 second reaction of Hawkmoth showing concern after letting Adrien fall from a skyscraper. Applause. After that? Not much.

Nathalie: Adrien likes, she takes care of him, his schedule, was the one to convince Gabriel to let him attend public school. There are moments in the show where she softens up towards Adrien, but always carries that air of professionalism on her to (possibly, assumption) not grow too close. Gorilla is...Gorilla, but at least the man tries with his nonverbal support and affectionate grunts. Lol.

Gabriel: He loves his father. It's his parent, after all. However, Adrien's reactions to him are vastly different than to how he reacts when thinking of his mother. He shows signs of fear (tensing up, growing obedient...etc.), he excuses his father's excessive controlling tendencies to just be "he's just worried about me", "that's the way he always was", "father cares and protects me". Adrien shows to be frequently disappointed with Gabriel, one of the first scenes being that Gabriel couldn't attend parent's day at school, Adrien was talking on the phone alone in the school hallway. He was genuinely surprised by the blue scarf his father gifted him (not knowing it was Marinette), since all he used to get were pens (again, not even from Gabriel, but Nathalie). This is my assumption but: Adrien has previously begged his father to go outside more or attend public school, but this time it worked only because Nathalie managed to convince him.

Friends from school: Nino is his best friend, Adrien seems to be good friends with Alya too, basically everyone in class, with varying degrees of closeness. Chloe is a childhood friend whom Adrien is fond of but also grows exasperated with and corrects her behavior if she's too harsh.

Marinette: likes and respects her, but can't read her well or at least when he thinks he's got her figured out, she claims the opposite. Marinette has been sending mixed signals, on one hand even making Adrien believe (and fear) they weren't friends. "Chat Blanc" contrary to popular belief, showed that Adrien is delighted at the prospect of Marinette being Ladybug (he'd severe doubts when Chloe or anyone else was brought up as a possible option).

Kagami: likes her, respects her, admires her fencing skills, learned to have fun hanging out with her and playing as kids usually do since she also has a controlling parent and they both know some ways/tricks around their boundaries to sneak off and meet their friends. Adrien and Kagami have similarities in that respect, Gabriel pushing Adrien to be a model, Mrs. Tsurugi pushing Kagami to be a master fencer.

Lila: At first defended her, was friendly towards her since she was a new student from overseas he sympathized because surely it would be lonely? The new girl would need a friend who supported her through all this things that were new for him too. However, as soon as he caught wind of Lila's schemes, he changes his tune. He feels uncomfortable around her overstepping his boundaries, expresses anger when Lila accused Marinette of crimes she didn't commit and even makes a deal with her to not bother Marinette again (but use him instead, doing photoshoots together...etc.) to keep her safe.

Age:

A 14-15 year old, having lost his mother, the only positive, healthy relationship in his life. Surrounded by a controlling father, not much free time, many extracurricular activities and being a superhero alongside Ladybug.

Some of the signs of being a sociopath include: Breaking rules and being impulsive.... Didn't Ladybug do those too?

Breaking the rules: (since LB and Marinette are the same) stealing phones, sneaking into places where she shouldn't, using the miraculous for personal gain (latest example: getting Kagami away from Adrien), giving Adrien the snake miraculous due to personal preference instead of drawing logical conclusions. Sneaked into the Agreste mansion.

Impulsiveness: Marinette's daily fantasies (sharing a future life with Adrien and their hamster-who-must-not-be-named), when Lila's "precious family heirloom necklace" was "stolen", Marinette was quick to include her classmates in the list of potential perpetrators for it (without ill intent, but still..)

You know who the real potential sociopath in the show is?

Gabriel

Some of you might include Lila too (since she fits all the criteria for being a sociopath), but the key difference is: Lila is still just a kid.

We don't know much about her family life. Just that her mother is busy with work, we don't know where her father is, who her friends were/if she even had them. She might be lying and manipulating people to follow her own agenda, but she thrives in attention, when people notice and praise her. In some aspects, that could've been Adrien. With one neglectful parent, a missing parent, no friends (prior to going to school)...etc. There is also a lot we don't know about her.

#miraculous ladybug #ml #adrien agreste #adrien sugar #salting on salters #i know i didnt include all important points #i may add them later #aimed at salters #fandom salt #ml salt #ml analysis #mentions of abuse #long post #lila rossi #gabriel agreste #gabriel agreste's a+ parenting #gabriel agreste salt #nathalie sancoeur #nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #chloe bourgeois #ml felix graham de vanily #felix graham de vanily #marinette dupaincheng

[fandomsyoulove]

All the events that lead to Sirius running away from his family.

Sirius Black x reader, Sirius Black x Potter reader, Regulus Black x reader.

Summary: A ball in Grimauld Place doesnt end as expected either for Sirius Black or Lena Potter, James´s sister.

Author´s note: Okay, this is a part of a story Ive been writting lately. I never post what I write, but I just felt like sharing it. If someone wants it I can upload more parts. Thank you xx. PD: Enlgish is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

Words: 3200. 

Lena breathed deeply standing in the mirror. Regulus had invited her to their family yearly ball and she was mortified. She was so done with that family, they were ruinous, bad people. Her mind drifted to the two brothers. Regulus would be glad she was going, and she also felt that Sirius would appreciate it. After their rendevouz in the Room of Requirements their friendship was as strong as ever. She would spend more time with the Marauders since then, distancing herself from her Slytherin boys, to the Gryffindors joy. She knew how bad the two boys had it and wished time and time again that she had any power over them and she could just bring them home, away from those irresponsible parents.

It was not only Walburga and Orion that she had to worry about, it was also Bellatrix, and Narcisa's boyfriend, Lucius. Pureblood supremacy talk was the usual take in these events and she really dreaded to go. How in their right mind would want to spend hours in the same room as all of those racist supremacists? It was tiresome, to say the least. Still, as always, she couldn't help to want their approval. So she had bought a green dress with some straps on the back. It was silky, and she hoped to blend in. Obviously, she had Reg in mind. She wanted to make an impression on him. They had been together for the whole year and she felt the need to constantly live up to his standards. Of course he had the same pressure, they both shared it, that's why the two had to be perfect.

Ever since the room of requirements incident, in which Lena and Sirius had almost kissed each other, on multiple occasions, she had tried not to think about his words. That confession she was not supposed to have heard. Well if it had been for Sirius, he would have woken her up and told her. But she knew he had his brother to think of. And so did she. Thats why she concentrated hard in being his friend now more than ever. She figured that if she was to keep on with these confusing feelings, she would have to maintain their friendship, not talking would just make her want to see him even more.

All of these thoughts clouded her mind as she was putting on her make up. Her lips a bright red, his eye shadow dark. Just in that instant, his brother made an appearance.

- My, my, sis you look stuning.- he complimented her as he turned her and the dress lightly swayed.

- Thanks, James.- she smiled and soon James turned serious.

- I need to ask you something. - he pleaded, the girl just nodded asking him to continue. - Can you please have an eye on Padfoot?- he asked preocupied for his friend.

- I will, dont you worry. He is my friend as well.- she responded taking his hand.

- I know, I know. Its just, I wish I could be there with him. He never talks about it, just curses his mother over and over again. - the girl nodded.

- I know, dont worry about that. You are a good friend. - she was quick to reply.

- I try.- he smiled once again, hugging his sister before they made their way out to where their parents were hanging out.

- You look absolutely gorgeous.- Euphemia Potter took her in.

- Thank Merlin Regulus is a chivalrous kid.- Fleamont raised his brows.- You really are stunning, Lena. - he complimented. She smiled once again, lightly caressing her curly short hair so it would fall into place.

- I better get going.- she finally spoke making her way to the fireplace.

- Grimlaud place 12.- she shouted, careful not to get ashes on her dress.

When she arrived, the room was abandoned, except for Sirius Black.

- Lena!- he greated smirking as always. He quickly hugged her, not really taking in her appeareance until they backed from the other. His hand grabbed hers.

- You look so amazing! That dress fits you in every place.- he spoke bewilded with the girl who had a large smile on her face.- I wish it were red but hey, at least it has a slit on the leg. - his eyes roamed over her, who was already red from all the blushing.

- You look great as well, Siri. I mean you usually look good, more than good. But that tunic is working miracles.- she began talking, not knowing what had come over her.

- Be careful now. One would think that you wanted some of this.- he gestured to himself. The girl laughed loudly, and suddenly, Regulus was at the door. The two quickly separated.

- Reg!- she screamed, hugging him tightly, not noticing Sirius threatening expression.

- I thought you couldn't be prettier, guess I was wrong.- he looked at her adoringly, just as Sirius had a few moments ago.

- Well I thought the same, none of us was right.- both laughed before kissing. The older brother gagged behind them before making his way to the ball on the living room.

- I missed you.- she spoke while she caressed his face. He smiled at this, finally in comfort in her hands.

- I did too, more than you know.- he replied grabbing her hands and linking them over his chest.

- Well, we shouldn't keep the others waiting should we?- she smiled, trying to cheer him up.

- We will leave them breathless, even Cissy and that Malfoy.- he replied and both laughing made their way to the ball.

The black hall was decorated with plenty of silver and green decorations. Lena stared at the room in awe, and also a little bit disgusted. It was dark, with the black walls and all, the only light coming from the gigantic lights.

The two tried to walk with confidence. Her hand on his, holding it tightly, reasuringly.

Soon everybody's atention was on them. Some compliments from Walburga, Orion being proud of the Slytherin colours, Narcissa loving the hair. All viewed by a lurking Sirius that already had a glass of wine in his hand.

- You love her, dont you?- his favourite cousin stood next to him, in a gorgeous black dress.

- I dont know what your talking about.- he tried to play it cool, drinking some more wine.

- Cmon, Sirius. It is quite obvious. You cannot keep your eyes from her. - she replied, trying to get him to confess.

- Maybe I do. But I cant do anything about it.- he said lowly, dwoning yet another cup, this time champagne.

- It is a terrible situation you find yourself in. Both options ahead of you, you can try to be the good brother, or go for the girl. - she reasoned.

- Where is Ted?- Sirius tried to change the topic but his tone was harsh.

- Shhh, keep quiet will you?- she pleaded hoping that no one had heard.

-Ah, but that is a terrible situation.- Sirius spoke bitterly. To which his cousin just replied.

- I dont care that you are heartbroken, dont mention him here. That is a very sensible topic.- she spoke, serious all of a sudden.

- Im sorry. Alcohol and anger are not a good mix.- he tried to sound remorseful. The older Black understood and just left him.

Over and over again Sirius cursed himself. He should've told her over the moments he had this past year. Why hadnt him? How could he let this happen? Lena was dancing gracefully with Regulus, both laughing at something she had said. His hateful parents stared at the couple grinning. Lena and Reg were the perfect couple and everybody knew it. How could he have allowed this to happen. It should be him, dancing with her. It should be him making her laugh. It should be him, who his parents would gaze at with pride.

But there he was, already having a few too many drinks. Making a show of himself, perpetuating the view his family had of him. It was crazy how much he despised every single one of them. He wanted to take the girl, runaway with her and never turn back.

A few hours passed and nothing seemed to change. Every once in a while his parents would scold him for drinking too much or asking him to stop sulking around. But what else could he do? When the girl he adored didnt leave his brotherss side.

Even Andromeda was dancing with the couple, seeming to be very close with the Potter. Slytherin budies, Sirius thought. He felt betrayed, miserable, this was unberable. He needed to leave, he could only hope that the night would end soon. But oh how wrong he was.

- It seems like you are having a great time.- the only moment he had taken his eyes off her, she had made her way towards him.

- Haha, youre funny. - he resorted.

- Cmon, Siri. Ive seen you all night only moving to grab more drinks. You are the life of the party.- she continued to joke.

- Well this is hell. - he added staring at her with anger.

- I know, right?- she replied laughing to which he raised his brows. - What?- she asked taking his cup and drinking from it.

- You dont seem too bad with Reggie and my lovely parents.- he said bitterly.

- How have you sneaked firewhiskey in here?- she wondered taking another big gulp from it, without ackonwledging him.

- shhh. - he tried shutting her up, but her laugh was contagious.

- Oh Cmon. - she laughed again grabbing his arm.

- Lena, Ive had way too much to drink and I see that you are served as well so maybe try to lay off the booze. - his attempt at being responsible was cut off by the girl.

- Im not that bad, you aren't either. Now, we should dance.- she reached for his hand.

The boy just stared at the gorgeous girl, this was his dream, wasn't it?

- Cmon, Reg is dancing with your mum and I really dont want to dance with your father. So please.- she pleaded with puppy eyes. Sirius felt like he couldnt move, not saying a word, his eyes fixed on her. - Sirius, are you with us?- she asked when she didnt get a response. Finally, breaking from his trance, the boy took her hand and smiled.

- Ive been waiting the whole night for you to ask me to dance.- he whispered in her ear once they linked arms at the dance floor. She just smiled, squeezing his hand tighter. He, in response, gripped her waist. She found it hard to breathe, not daring to look at him. Soon they were waltzing around the room. Neither could say a word, only the music could be heard. Their eyes fixed on the others. They moved gracefully, without paying much atention to the rest. They didnt notice the stranged look on Sirius parents, or Regs anoyed look.

- Im sorry. Ive tried to come to you a few times, but Reg wouldnt allow me to leave his side. - she finally spoke as a slower song played and they continued moving through the hall.

- Dont worry, the wait was worth it.- he replied, and another smile crept into her face. His grey eyes on her hazels. Suddenly, Sirius turned her around, and when they were back face to face, she noticed his stern look, she mimicked him, not knowing if she had done something wrong. - I dont like Regulus treating you like that. - he stated, his eyes everywhere but on her.

- He needs me, Siri. - she quickly replied as they tilted to the side. - Besides, I knew I would be able to see you after some time. - she added. - If I really had wanted to, trust me, I would have come. - Sirius frown became wider.

- I knew the wait would make this more worth a while.- she whispered in his ear, her lips barely centimeters away. He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes, smelling her perfume, she was so close to him.

The song ended abruptly and they separated to applaud, still gazing at the other.

Andromeda made her way towards them looking stunning.

- Im sorry darling. - she referred to the girl. - I havent danced with my cousin for the whole night. Would you mind?- she pleaded, looking at the younger Black that still hadnt processed what had happened.

- Of course, Drome.- she said lovingly to her friend. - Ill leave you to it.- she added smiling, her hand reaching for his arm for a few seconds.

The boy turned quickly when she walked past him, but soon, his cousin moved his head with her hands to fix his gaze on her.

- You are so in love.- she smiled, her dark eyes filled with love for him.

- I cannot help it. - he turned them around so he could stare at her once again. - She is perfect.- he added, lovestruck. His lips parted, adoration clear in his eyes.

- I dont know how this will turn out, but either way Im invested.- Andromeda joked, messing with Sirius hair, making him turn towards her annoyed, but smiling deep down.

A few more hours passed, without much trouble. Sirius had some laughs with Andromeda, Lena was able to dance with him for another long while. He supposed this was the best he could have expected for the night. Of course some of the firewhiskey he had drowned in helped too.

Everything seemed to have turned out fine in the end. That was until he heard Malfoy speak. He had tried to avoid listening to them, staying as far away as he could from them. But he was next to his cousin that was tying her shoe when he heard a name too familiar to him.

- Take Lilly Evans, she is a mud-blood, but she tries to seem smarter.- Sirius was used to them boasting about blood superiority, he could pass that, knowing that if he reacted, only Andromeda and Lena would help him.

- She is a know-it-all. But when we put them into place, theyll know what is good. All of that intelligence wont be worth much.- Bellatrix added, disgusted.

The boy balled his hands into fists, his breathing erratic. If James were here, he wouldnt allow any of this. How could he? He was no better than any of them. He was sick and tired of this. Next to him, Lena appeared grabbing his hand.

- I cant wait for the day those people dont atend Hogwarts. The school would be just as it should be, without mudbloods. Just as Salazar Slytherin would have wanted. - Lucius agreed with the Black sister. Narcissa keeping quiet.

Andromeda stood next to the couple, also trying to think what to do. Sirius parents were on the other side of the hall, with Regulus, talking with some ministry people. The boy felt the anger boiling in him, his heartbeat racing.

- Malfoy, the school wont be perfect until you are gone.- he quickly made his way towards him, the two girls following him.

- Ah, blood traitor, you are the next, after the clensing of the mudbloods. - Bellatrix hissed at him, Rodolphus joining them.

- Im so ashamed to share your last name.- Sirius resorted, going towards her, wand in hand. But Rabastan stepped in front of her and Lena grabbed his arm.

- Sirius, its not worth it.- Lena tried to reason with him, pleading him with her soft gaze and calm voice. The boy began calming his breathing before turning around.

- A blood traitor and a coward, you have it all, dear cousin. Why Orion and Walburga put up with you scapes my knowledge. - Bellatrix lunged for him, ending in Rodolphuss arms, holding her.

- Shut up you crazy bitch!- Sirius didnt have time to think about what he was doing, before grabbing his wand again.

-Sirius!- Lena shouted but he was already gone.

- You dare talk to me like that? Gryffindor.- his cousin kept trying to get him angrier.

Soon Sirius and her were face to face, wand at the other. Everyone had turned to them, including Sirius parents. Their son had his back towards them, one look from his wife and Orion knew what to do.

- Expeliermus!- Sirius ended up on the floor, his wand on the other side of the room. Bellatrix and Lucius laughed while Walburga began shouting at his son.

- What the hell?- Lena screamed, having too much of this family, quickly reaching Sirius.

- Are you okay?- she asked taking his head on her hands, supporting him on her knees.

- My head hurts.- he exclaimed, his hand reaching hers.

- Leave with me. - she pleaded, tears on her eyes. Both stayed like that while the party ended.

The people from the ministry left, and soon only the closest Black family members stayed. Regulus made his way towards the two, after being scolded by his mother on how Lena had acted.

- Lena, you have to go. - he tried grabbing her arm standing, but she yanked him away.

- You should leave. Both of you, come with me, now.- she begged time and time again, her vision now blurry.

Both Black brothers saw her in distress, not knowing what to do. While Walburga cursed his son, and Bellatrix accompanied her, Sirius took her hands and moved them from his face.

- Its okay, Lena. You dont want to be on the other end of her rage. - he said lowly. Regulus just stared, not knowing how to feel.

- I can´t leave you here.- she said between sobs.

- Ill be fine, I always am, arent I?- he tried to smile to the girl that held his heart. She nodded before helping him up.

- I love you.- she whispered in his ear as she hugged him goodbye.

- I love you too.- he responded, before she kissed his cheek.

Then, drying her tears, she made her way to Regulus that was still in shock. When she reached him, he reacted, leading her to the living room. None could speak, both feeling too many things all at once. Rage, horror, impotence, love. They didnt even share a single touch on the way.

- Bye, Regulus.- she said bluntly before turning for the chimney.

#Sirius Black x reader #Sirius Black x Potter reader #regulus x reader

[all-hail-the-witcher]

jaskier’s breakup album

alright full disclosure i probably went into way more detail than i needed to. but jaskiers a dramatic little shit and therefore so am i. but this album slowly became my baby and I've been listening to it for the last 2 weeks while I've been doing homework and its a good sad bop. these are just my opinions, but i think it would be cool to see what other people think (esp because im fairly new to this fandom). also this post is really long. sorry about that. 

so. we all know jaskier is a bard. he traipses around writing songs about whatever fling he's having or about his witcher. netflix canon makes it pretty clear that geralt is one of jaskiers muses (and probably one of his more reliable ones given what we know about jaskiers dating history). jaskier is also very, very dramatic (as I'm sure everyone knows cause he's the damn comic relief that show desperately needs). in particular though the scene at the beginning of 1x05 where geralt is djinn hunting and jaskier stumbles upon him, drunk, singing off key, and rambles about how "the countess de stael, my muse and beauty of this world, has left me. again. rather coldly and unexpectedly, i might add. i fear i shall die a broken hearted man” and jaskier is clearly half muttering some sad attempt at a breakup song he's trying to write at the beginning of the episode so the question is, wouldn't he do the same thing post mountain scream down with geralt?

the answer is of course, yes he would because jaskier is nothing if not a dramatic little shit. and i am proposing that he writes not only one but an entire album (or set if this is canon era, but if this is canon i think he would keep a great many of these songs to himself, only playing a few select ones with the hopes that someday geralt will hear one and realize how badly he fucked up) of break songs and lamentations about geralt, because say all you want about what their relationship is, but one does not simply go traipsing around the entire continent with someone for 20 years and not grow close to them in some way shape or form (and the show makes it clear that geralt is at least one of jaskiers close friends so). now what is on this breakup album? well I'm glad you asked.

i peg jaskiers music (modern or canon honestly) for this album as being a combination of taylor swift’s folklore/evermore albums and james arthur and ill explain why. 

taylor swifts folklore/evermore albums have this almost ethereal, floaty, reminiscent, indie vibes. there are many metaphors, recurring themes and its overall kinda dramatic at points which i feel is exactly what jaskier would be doing right now (it also just kinda gives me canon era vibes, idk). but james arthurs music is much more emotionally intense which i think is definitely in character for jaskier at this point because he strikes me as someone who copes with things through his music. both artists do the sings through story telling in an almost monologue manner which goes along with that kinda bardic music and all that. i also think that jaskier would want geralt to know that these songs are about him because hes dramatic like that (kinda like how taylor swift writes her stuff). anyway here's what i think would be on his breakup album: 

heres a link to the playlist

1. the lakes - taylor swift 2. from me to you i hate everybody - james arthur 3. maybe - james arthur 4. sad eyes - james arthur 5. hoax - taylor swift 6. naked - james arthur 7. right where you left me - taylor swift 8. all too well - taylor swift 9. impossible - james arthur 10. exile - taylor swift 11. illicit affairs -taylor swift 12. safe inside - james arthur 13. quite miss home -james arthur 14. my tears ricochet  -taylor swift 15. phoenix - james arthur 16. this is me trying - taylor swift  17. happiness - taylor swift 18. death by a thousand cuts - taylor swift 19. empty space - james arthur 20. coney island - taylor swift 21. new years day - taylor swift 22. the 1 -taylow swift

so theres 22 songs which im sure jaskier would do on purpose cause hes a dramatic little shit ( “one song for every year i wasted on you” or something of that sort). jaskier being a dramatic little shit is going to be a recurring theme. some of them work better for modern era than canon era but as a whole this can be interpreted as either romantic or platonic. anyway lets unpack. 

1. the lakes by taylor swift (more canon era interpretation)

this song is the bonus and final track off of folklore. the song is actually about how she wants to go live in seclusion with her boyfriend out of the public eye but that is not what it means in this interpretation. i think that this song is about how jaskier feels as though his career as a bard is tainted now because he spent so many years singing geralts praises and there is no way he will be able to escape that part of his life because undoubtedly hes going to get requests for toss a coin and others he wrote about geralt and people will probably know him as “the witchers bard”. so this song is him talking about how he wants to run away and live out his life in seclusion because geralt took from him one of the only happinesses in his life. 

Take me to the lakes, where all the poets went to die I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you Those Windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry I'm settin' off, but not without my muse 

the line “i dont belong and my beloved neither do you” references the fact that jaskier feels like an outcast now that he’s spent years traveling around with a witcher, notoriously outcasts from society, so he feels that he doesnt belong anymore either.

I want auroras and sad prose I want to watch wisteria grow Right over my bare feet 'Cause I haven't moved in years And I want you right here

the second stanza references his idealization of living out his life in solitude, with nature, where no one can judge him (and geralt cant yell at him). 

jasper would have started this album with that song because it states his intentions: he feels as though he’s done with singing. it could also refer to him leaving the public eye (in modern era) to write this album.

2. from me to you i hate everybody by james arthur (more canon era interpretation) 

songs 2-4 on jaskiers album are ones that he wrote at various points while he and geralt were still together/best friends/etc. these three songs establish what the relationship was like before everything went downhill, but they are kind of melancholy, like looking back on a past love (which is what jaskier is doing). this one jaskier wrote about when they met. geralt would have heard him play it before and he would have known that this song was about him (he probably also secretly liked it and jaskier putting it on his album would have been like a slap in the face because it wasn't one that he had shared with other people, thinking it to be too personal). if this album had been released in modern era, jaskier would have released this song as a single to get geralts attention. he would have definitely wanted geralt to know that this album was about him. 

I used to come here on my own and drink So I didn't have to think or hear the whispering I stand with people telling lies again In suits and ties again and I just need a friend

they meet in the tavern and its clear that jaskier is Not having a good time and really just needs a friend, hence why he decides to go talk to geralt.

You walked into the room and cut the atmosphere like a knife, alright Sobering mind 'cause up to now, I've just been wasting my time, ooh yeah

the “wasting my time” part is of particular interest because it clearly articulates that jaskier feels as though adventuring around with geralt was the best part of his life and before that he'd just been a bard with debatable songs. the song as a whole makes it sound like geralt was jaskiers lifeline.

3. maybe by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song, while geralt would know immediately it was about him, was not one jaskier ever shared with geralt. it would have been written a few years after he and geralt had met initially. the reason that jaskier never shared it was because it talks about destiny and geralt made it Very Clear that he does not want to fuck with destiny.

I don't know what's going on Where you came from and why you took so long All I know is that I feel it Like it's the realest thing, I mean it Something changed when I saw you Oh, my eyes can't lie You said, "They're so damn blue And I love how you're so forward Is it too soon to say I'm falling?"

this would have been what young jaskier felt over the course of a few years after traveling around (or befriending if this is modern). There was probably a slip up somewhere, or jaskier just thought that he got really good at interpreting geralts grunts and the line about the eyes is what he hoped/imagined/thought geralt was saying to him in return. 

So maybe Maybe we were always meant to meet Like this was somehow destiny Like you already know Your heart will never be broken by me So is it crazy For you to tell your friends to go on home? So we can be here all alone Fall in love tonight And spend the rest of our lives as one

jaskier probably thinks that destiny is some wildly romantic thing hence why he compares them meeting to destiny. the line about heart break would have also hit especially hard after the mountain scene. also i think its pretty clear that jaskier wants to spend as much of his life traipsing around with geralt in the show (modern era wouldn't have been any different), hence wanting to spend the rest of his life with geralt. 

Oh, is it too crazy For you to tell your brothers about me? They told me they'll protect you But I'll look them in the eye Tell them you and I will be as one

this is the part that sells it for me. i think that geralt lambert and eskel would all be very close (admittedly i havent read the books but i kinda get that vibe from the fandom so). this part about geralt telling his bothers about jaskier and then jaskier probably meeting them would have been an Important Moment. 

4. sad eyes by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

aright so im not sure if geralt has heard this one before. i can see it going both ways. its a possibility that jaskier wrote it at some point and then would kinda sing it softly when hes patching geralt up after a particularly rough hunt so its one of those where like geralts not quite sure what the song is but then he hears it on this album (cause say this was modern era and jaskier actually did release this album geralt would totally buy it after a few weeks and then realize how badly he'd actually fucked up) and is like shit thats what he was singing all along?? but anyway this one is essentially about how jaskier thinks geralt puts too much pressure on himself and all that stuff

You wear the burden World on your shoulders, babe So let me hold the weight I know you're hurting Deep as the coldest pain But this is the order sayin'

essentially jaskier can see through geralts bs and hes calling him out on it and wants him to just take care of himself for once (see: the scene in 1x05 when geralt says he cant sleep) 

5. hoax by taylor swift (canon or modern works)

so this song begins the plethora of break up songs that jaskier wrote about geralt. this one would have been written some time after the incident, after jaskier has some time to reflect on the whole thing. i know that taylor wrote this  song about enduring a toxic relationship, which kind of works if you think about the way that geralts treated jaskier and how jaskier interpreted it (but im not implying that their relationship was toxic or abusive or anything) 

My best laid plan Your sleight of hand My barren land I am ash from your fire

jaskiers plan was to reinvent geralts image and geralt did not think that it was worth it. jaskier is just sorta his side kick (who gets him into trouble, as geralt points out) and geralt kicks him aside like he doesnt mean anything to him (like ash from a fire

Stood on the cliffside Screaming "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue But you No other sadness in the world would do

this is a little more literal with the screaming on the cliffside. jaskier wanted a reason to stay and geralt didnt want him to. jaskier knows that witchers dont feel emotions (or at least not like humans do) so hes been tricking himself into believing that geralt actually liked having him around, knowing that it was probably going to blow up in his face at some point. but he doesnt quite regret it, and doesnt want to be sad over anyone else.

6. naked by james arthur (modern or canon works)

this kind of goes along with hoax, jaskier probably wrote them around the same time. he’s admitting in this song that he would be willing to try to work it out with geralt, but geralt needs to change first (needs to actually communicate and let him in and all that stuff). 

'Cause here I am, I'm givin' all I can But all you ever do is mess it up Yeah, I'm right here, I'm tryin' to make it clear That getting half of you just ain't enough

hes quoting geralts words back at him here ( “all you ever do is mess it up” is pretty similar to the line about shoveling shit), saying that all hes ever tried to do is be good and kind to geralt, but geralt hasn't really done the same in return and while jaskier may have dragged him into some things, geralt also needs to take responsibility for what hes done as well. 

7. right where you left me (modern or canon works)

this starts the Real Sad Boy Hours songs. this would refer to how he felt pretty much right after, not knowing what to do because geralt had been so much a part of his life for so long: 

Help, I'm still at the restaurant Still sitting in a corner I haunt Cross-legged in the dim light They say, "What a sad sight" I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop Right when I felt the moment stop Glass shattered on the white cloth Everybody moved on, I, I stayed there Dust collected on my pinned-up hair They expected me to find somewhere Some perspective, but I sat and stared

this is kind of the processing of the event. and also the moment on the album where the audience would realize that this relationship that he's been telling about until now definitely ended. this song isn't super super emotional, its more a jumble of thoughts cause he didnt know what to feel after the breakup happened. although he didnt write it right after the break up, it was written much after as a looking back.

8. all too well by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

(the link to this one is from a live performance because i like the emotion in this one better) so this song is not off of folklore (its off of red) but its such a powerful, painful breakup song that i had to include it in the lineup because it seems like something that jaskier would have written very very soon after the incident. the memories especially that she touches on in the song (driving upstate, dancing in the fridge light, looking at the photo album, etc) are all very powerful and real and i can see jaskier doing the same thing. again, if this were modern era i think that he might release this one as a single. theres so much to unpack in this song, this ones gonna be a little longer oops.

Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well

this clearly references the mountain scene. they were a pretty good duo until geralt blamed him for all his problems. and jaskier was effectively stuck on the top of a very dangerous mountain that he would have had to navigate down by himself. 

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

jaskier spent half of his life following geralt around, its likely that he doesnt know what to do with himself or his life now that he doesnt have geralt to follow around on adventures. he doesnt know what to do anymore (see the first song).

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me You can't get rid of it, 'cause you remember it all too well, yeah

this is more of a hope that jaskier has. he hopes that geralts held onto something of his that he left behind. maybe he left a shirt in one of roaches saddle bags (canon) or a notebook in their apartment (modern) that geralt just cant seem to get rid of. he would like to think that he had an impact on geralts life and that it wasn't just all for nothing. in the beginning, he wants geralt to be just as hurt as he is.

'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well

this is a dig at geralt. he'd never had someone to follow him around on adventures before, much less a human. as far as we know it seems like jaskiers the first human that has even given him the time of day. this is jaskiers way of throwing it back in geralts face

9. impossible by james arthur (canon or modern works) 

this would have also been written very soon after the incident. it is more jaskier being mad at himself for not seeing the signs than him being mad at geralt. it is almost like his admittance of the event and like hes finally accepting what happened.

I remember years ago Someone told me I should take Caution when it comes to love, I did And you were strong and I was not My illusion, my mistake I was careless, I forgot, I did

jaskier is someone who clearly falls in love (or at least screws around with people) easily so its likely that someone would have given him some advice along these lines once. but when he met geralt its likely that this caution went to the wind. 

When all is done, there is nothing to say And if you're done with embarrassing me On your own you can go ahead, tell them

Tell them all I know now Shout it from the rooftops Write it on the skyline All we had is gone now Tell them I was happy And my heart is broken All my scars are open Tell them what I hoped would be impossible

this hints at the first song on the album. jaskier has no stomach for singing for audiences asking to hear about the adventures of geralt of rivia. this is his way of telling geralt that, almost as his punishment, he should have to deal with the people who ask why hes not traveling with his bard anymore, because jaskier has no intention of doing so. this is pretty brutal because (as we know) geralt doesnt really enjoy talking about feelings, or talking at all in general.

10. exile by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a fictitious conversation that jaskier wrote as occurring between him and geralt. it can be looked at either way but i think it makes more sense if bon iver is jaskier and taylor is geralt. 

I think I've seen this film before And I didn't like the ending You're not my homeland anymore So what am I defendin' now? You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out I think I've seen this film before

this first chorus is from jaskiers perspective. note the use of “homeland,” as home becomes a theme on jaskiers album. in geralts version of the chorus the line instead is “youre not my problem anymore” which is probably what jaskier took the whole mountain thing to mean. 

All this time We always walked a very thin line You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs) All this time I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

(the () in this are geralt) this is jaskiers lamentations about how he didnt notice geralts abject discomfort in their relationship and also his regrets in not being able to remedy the situation. 

11. illicit affairs by taylor swift (modern or canon works) 

so this song is clearly and obviously about an affair. however, i have seen interpretations of the song where people view it as being in a relationship that is  so intense and well hidden that in a sense it is almost like an affair, like in the aftermath you’re not even sure if it was real or you deemed it because there isnt really a trace of this other person anymore, and that is the way i think jaskier would have written this song. 

And you wanna scream Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

the dont call me kid, dont call me baby part would reference jaskiers humanity, he has a normal human lifespan at least in canon (very much unlike geralt) so geralt might brush him off as being young and stupid. jaskier would have made this album to show geralt that hes not being young and stupid, that this did screw him up, and hes suffering cause of it. kind of like a reality check or a slap in the face.

Don't call me kid Don't call me baby Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else And you know damn well For you I would ruin myself A million little times

the secret language would of course refer to geralt himself. hes a hard man to understand (especially cause half his vocabulary is grunts) and hes also a witcher. so jasper had to learn to understand him and now he has no use for that anymore. and the ending line about ruining myself. that would be jaskiers admittance that he would do it again, he'd do it all again, which comes back up in later songs.

12. safe inside by james arthur (canon era interpretation)

this is one that jaskier would have written maybe a week or so after the incident. the song itself deals with distance and coping with not being in someones life anymore, and i think that that is something that jaskier would struggle to cope with because hes not sure he wants geralt to be alone. this song is more for jaskier than for geralt. 

Everyone has to find their own way And I'm sure things will work out okay I wish that was the truth All we know is the sun will rise Thank your lucky stars that you're alive It's a beautiful life

obviously geralt can take care of himself, but its kinda clear that he doesnt much like his life as a witcher (the part where he talks about them getting slow and killed). so this is kind of jaskiers way of almost reminding geralt that his life on the path is still beautiful and important now that he back by himself. 

Oh, will you call me to tell me you're alright? 'Cause I worry about you the whole night Don't repeat my mistakes, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside If you're home I just hope that you're sober Is it time to let go now you're older? Don't leave me this way, I won't sleep 'til you're safe inside

this is more jaskier worrying about geralt being by himself. he hopes that hes okay in the aftermath of this this and that hes taking care of himself still. because of course jaskier would write a whole breakup album but still write one song about how he hopes the person is doing well.

13. quite miss home by james arthur (modern era interpretation)

this song. oh my god. its so amazing. if you dont listen to any of these, at least listen to this one (actually im pretty sure no ones read to this point so if you have thanks). this song is kind of more along the same vein as the previous one, how jaskier misses geralt but its more for him than geralt. he would have probably written it at like 3am in a fit of tears and weakness, and debated long and hard about whether or not to put it on the album, but done it anyway because what does he have to lose? theres a lot to unpack here tho so this is going to be a longer one. (sorry)

I'm in the kitchen while you smoke outside You're careful not to let the smoke inside I always tell you it's poison But I know it helps you take the edge off the day We get a drink before it's closing time The one on high street with the blinking sign All these memories feel poignant I won't be there to see the snow melt away

this is a very very clear picture of an event that seems to have happened a great many times, so much so that it seems like second nature. its like a little glimpse into what their life was before this incident. its intimate, but it still is melancholy.

Whoa I'm in another city I got nobody with me And it just really hit me

this is where jaskier is now, it provides some opposition. its like a culture shock almost, like hes so used to this intimate lifestyle with another person that its jarring to be by himself.

That I quite miss home And I miss you telling me To leave my shoes at the door 'Cause you just swept the floor And the dirt drives you crazy Yeah, I quite miss home 'Cause it feels like poetry When the rain falls down on the window While you're in my arms And we're watching the TV Yeah, I quite miss home

the key here is what jaskier is referring to as “home.” it's not the place, its geralt himself. all these memories center around him, not an establishment. (calling geralt “home” comes back in later songs.) again, this mosh of memories is like theres so many of them that its almost overwhelming but its stemming from jaskiers need to feel something other than lonely and hes craving this reality that hes lost.

14. my tears ricochet by taylor swift (modern or canon era works)

this is a song that really emphasizes jaskiers dramatic little shit tendencies. this is something that he wrote, trying to predict what geralts reaction would be if he found out that jaskier died. this is really just jaskier fantasizing that geralt didnt actually mean any of what he said and does still care about him. theres many lines in here that are jabs at geralt (if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? and Even on my worst day Did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me?), but i think this is the most important one:

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want Just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

this is again, jaskier referring to geralt as home. as seen in the last song, he clearly wants to go there, but he cant. this could also refer to where he grew up, which he cant go to either because his parents still view him as a disappointment (as seen in finally). jaskier saying he still talks to geralt is completely in character, he probably still curses him and the whole thing. but the part about geralt not being able to sleep at night and hearing his stolen lullabies is really hard hitting. jaskier likes to think that geralt wouldn't be able to sleep without his banter or his lute playing or something of that nature. over all its a very powerful song.

15. phoenix by james arthur (modern or canon works) 

this is a fictitious apology that jaskier wrote from geralts pov, kind of what he wished that geralt would say, but knows that he won't. 

Let me, let me begin Let me begin, with an I.O.U Who I owe everything to Lately, lately my friend Lately, you think I'm ignoring you But I've been trying to pull through All of the pain, I know you're looking down, down on me I could have been someone I hurt everyone Pushed away everyone who got near

in this “geralt” outlines what he did wrong, and that he didnt mea what he said at all. again, this is more for jaskiers benefit because he knows that even if geralt were to apologize to him, it wouldn't be to this extent.

16. this is me trying by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is jaskier trying to articulate the fact that hes trying to pick himself back up after everything, his way of showing his “healing process” and that he can do it, he doesnt need geralt (as the song shows, its not going very well)

And it's hard to be at a party When I feel like an open wound It's hard to be anywhere these days When all I want is you You're a flashback in a film reel On the one screen in my town And I just wanted you to know That this is me trying (maybe I don't quite know what to say) I just wanted you to know That this is me trying

its showing that jaskier is having trouble enjoying things that he once did (like parties) because hes still so distraught over what happened with geralt, but at the same time he also wants to show geralt that he doesnt need him. it has a very i dont care kind of attitude, but jaskier at the same time is having a hard time showing geralt that hes doing okay, hence the “maybe i dont quite know what to say” which is out of character for the very talkative bard

17. happiness by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is more him convincing himself that things will be okay. he's clearly trying at this point to move on, but its proving difficult because geralt was his happiness for so long:

There'll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you Both of these things can be true There is happiness

he also repeats the line “havent me the new me yet” a few times, which i think is again him trying to convince himself that its going to get better and he will move on from it. but this line is the one that i think hurts the most:

No one teaches you what to do When a good man hurts you And you know you hurt him too

this implies that 1. he still thinks geralts a good man (not a monster) and 2. that he knows he hurt him to and doesn't know how to fix either of them. this is also kind of him giving up on how to fix it, but him recognizing they were both at fault is important for the arc of the story.

18. death by a thousand cuts by taylor swift (modern or canon works)

this is another song that is not off of folklore (its from lover), but i wanted to include it because it think it has a little bit of anger to it (especially in this live acoustic version that i linked) which i think that jaskier would feel a few weeks post incident in a fit of rage, like why am i still feeling this way? why did you think that this was okay?? and its right after happiness, which shows that his healing really isn't linear. there's many lines in this song that pertain to geralt and jaskier and i could talk about the whole thing but im not going to

But if the story's over, why am I still writing pages?

this i think is very jaskier. its so raw and like, i know this is over, why am i still writing about it? why am i making an album about this? why should this still matter to me? its very angry and again, like many of the songs, like a slap.

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch Gave up on me like I was a bad drug Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club Our songs, our films, united, we stand Our country, guess it was a lawless land Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand Paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans My time, my wine, my spirit, my trust Tryna find a part of me you didn't take up Gave you so much, but it wasn't enough But I'll be alright, it's just a thousand cuts

this part, especially if you listen to her sing it, (which i would HIGHLY RECOMMEND BTW) is very passive aggressive and the the last line is like quite sarcastic and downplays it, like, yes you put me through all of this, but i guess its *just* a thousand cuts. this really shows that in many ways geralt was a part of jaskiers life, and his sudden removal from it would have stung in many ways, and thats not something that you can get over quickly. 

19. empty space by james arthur (modern or canon era works)

this song starts the beginning of jaskier getting over geralt. these last 4 songs would have been written much after the incident, after hes had time to think, but there's still this nagging in the back of his head thats like, well what if im being stupid and he is the one and im supposed to go back?

I don't see you You're not in every window I look through And I don't miss you You're not in every single thing I do I don't think we're meant to be And you are not the missing piece I won't hear it Whenever anybody says your name And I won't feel it Even when I'm burstin' into flames I don't regret the day I left I don't believe that I was blessed I'm probably lyin' to myself again

this is more what jaskier wants to be, not what he actually is. he thinks that hes over geralt, but hes not (the chorus gets into it more but im not going to talk about it here, but it essentially says “only you can fill this empty space”) clearly jaskier is further along in his healing process, but hes still having second thoughts. he wants to be over him, but he knows hes lying to himself, very deep down. 

20. coney island by taylor swift (more modern era interpretation)

this is the true moving on song. it’s still laced with memories and speculation, but it puts clear distance between the two of them, much more so than empty space does because it lacks the longing. it just shows things for what they are. 

And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island Wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go Sorry for not making you my centerfold

its apologetic, but nothing more than that. it dwells more on what could have been rather than what he wants it to still be. 

The question pounds my head What's a lifetime of achievement If I pushed you to the edge? But you were too polite to leave me And do you miss the rogue Who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul When you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?

this is interesting because it addresses their immortality and how they've been together for years and also the way in which they left things (paradise). but it also implies that things were on the downfall. and the last two lines about forgiveness is interesting because it then calls geralt “too wise to trust me and too old to care” meaning its more a wish of jaskiers rather than something he knows geralt will do.

Were you waiting at our old spot In the tree line By the gold clock Did I leave you hanging every single day? Were you standing in the hallway With a big cake, happy birthday Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey? A universe away And when I got into the accident The sight that flashed before me was your face But when I walked up to the podium, I think that I forgot to say your name

these are all very specific, very intimate moments that would clearly mean something to geralt. and it further implies that jaskier is uncertain if he actually made geralt feel appreciated when they were together. but again, its more what could have been rather than what jaskier wanted it to be, which is a nice segway into the last two songs. 

21. new years day by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

this is another one not from folklore, this song is the closing track on reputation, but i like the nostalgia of it so i decided to include it (and it also has good parallels to the last song). initially jaskier intended for this to be the last song on the album, but decided to add another one last minute (and we will get into why). this song is more jaskiers muted longing to still be with geralt, albeit in the far future. 

There's glitter on the floor after the party Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor You and me from the night before but Don't read the last page But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away I want your midnights But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

this interpretation is very much like the actual songs interpretation: the desire to stay with someone through the unexciting parts of life, like cleaning up after a party on new years day. additionally, wanting to start something new with someone (being there with them past the midnight kiss and actually starting the first day of the year with them). additionally though, there is the line of “dont read the last page” which refers to the last song on the album, which we will get to. 

Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you And I will hold on to you Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

this is more jaskiers reality. hes torn between holding onto these memories and hopes and actually facing reality. he wants to hold on to geralt, but he also kinda wants to move on. and the last line about the laugh, thats more jaskiers own hope, he hopes that he will come across geralt again and things will work themselves out.

22. the 1 by taylor swift (modern era interpretation)

the decision to make this song the last one on the album was a very last minute decision, and it was written significantly after the rest of the songs. the reason for this was without this last song, the album ends on a note of hope “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere” but this last song is more of a reality check and acknowledgment that what's done is done and that it will never be again. 

I'm doing good, I'm on some new shit Been saying "Yes" instead of "No" I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn't though

this refers to the fact that its been some time since the whole thing and jaskiers kind of changed a little bit. he claims hes doing good, and maybe is going to try out a new career (since the first song references wanting to put music down for awhile). seeing geralt at the bus stop is a reference to cardigan where he says “chasing shadows in the grocery line” where hes not actively looking for geralt anymore and it doesnt upset him that he didnt see him.

I guess you never know, never know And if you wanted me, you really should've showed And if you never bleed, you're never gonna grow And it's alright now

this is jaskier saying that hes almost glad that it happened because it gave him a new perspective and it was a learning experience. he also says that its alright, which is the second time that hes said hes okay, which probably means he isnt completely, but hes much closer than he was on the rest of the album because hes not still looking for geralt at every turn

I have this dream you're doing cool shit Having adventures on your own You meet some woman on the Internet and take her home We never painted by the numbers, baby But we were making it count You know the greatest loves of all time are over now I guess you never know, never know And it's another day, waking up alone

this is jaskier acknowledging the fact that geralt has probably long since moved on with his life, either with other romantic people or with his life entirely (the first time he does this on the album). he says that while their love or friendship was unconventional it still was definitely something (implying that it may have been one of the greatest loves of his life). and the waking up alone part references quite miss home and being by himself, but it isnt sad, its just a fact at this point.

But we were something, don't you think so? Roaring twenties, tossing pennies in the pool And if my wishes came true It would've been you In my defense, I have none For never leaving well enough alone But it would've been fun If you would've been the one

this is the part where we see that jaskier has grown. hes recognized that his wanting to be with geralt was never anything more than a fleeting wish or a moment that couldn't last. but he knows that it had potential and it could have worked but it didnt and thats okay. in the last chorus the pennies line is “rosé flowing with your chosen family” which implies that he and geralt were close enough to know each others family (chosen or real), meaning that it meant something. and he wouldn't have minded a long term relationship with geralt, but its not what happened.

in new years day jaskier says “dont read the last page” this song is that last page. part of him still doesnt want geralt to know that hes put aside the hope of it working because he wants to still keep himself open for geralt, but knows that  its not healthy and ultimately he needs to move on. hes essentially giving geralt the choice: remember jaskier as wanting to get back with him (since the last line of the album would have been “please dont ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere” or let him have the knowledge that jaskier is done with him (since the official last line of the album is “but it would have been fun if you would've been the one”)

anyway thats jaskiers breakup album. i put way too much effort into this. and if you actually read through the whole thing, thank you and please let me know what you think!! if you use this for fics or have your own interpretations please please tag me, id love to see!!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #geralt #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #wow this took so long #literally so long #id recommend listening to the songs tho theyre all kinda vibey #there's like a million songs i could have used but i liked these ones cause i think they have a very nostalgic vibe #also dont get me wrong jaskier would also eventually release some sones like uhh #truth hurts by lizzo #like very fuck you breakup songs #but this is him being sad first #anyway im literally only posting this cause witcher anon said they wanted to read it #i hope you like it my dude

[eightfinity]

Check in tag!

I was tagged by @cheolgyu ty dreamy, I love tag games !! ☺️💖

Why did you choose your url?

so this wasnt my original url I used to be wonboowoo cause I ulted seungkwan (boo) and wonwoo (won woo) but then I started to ult minghao so I added him in to get xuboowoo. I actually only ult minghao in svt now I think but I’ve had the url so long and I still love the other two so I’m not going to change it haha

Any side blogs? If you have them: name them and why you have them.

so not on THIS blog. my last blog before I had to remake had two storage blogs for creations that are still accessible @wonboowoosvt for my gifs and @wonboowoomood for when I made moodboards (maybe I’ll start again?) but since they’re not connected to this blog anymore I can’t update them anymore they’re dead :((

How long you’ve been on tumblr?

uhhhh so 2018 for kpop blogs but like I’ve been on and off using tumblr since like 2012 (personal blogs and sad attempts at aesthetic and manic street preachers fan blogs)

Do you have a queue tag?

I used to use “mind your p’s and queues” but everything sits in queue so I just don’t feel like there’s a point to add a queue tag anymore

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

the biggest part is I wanted to learn how to make and then share gifs within the svt fandom but I also wanted a place to interact with fans peacefully because the only other place I had been doing so was amino apps and people are SIGNIFICANTLY younger than me there for the majority and I had been made fun of for my age and liking kpop before there, tumblr is much more peaceful and friendly (and fck twitter that place is a cesspool I don’t partake in much fandom stuff there)

Why did you choose your icon?

I was trying out themes that let me put pics in the sidebar and I wanted a really cool minghao picture but I ended up picking a layout where the picture is much smaller and when I saw that I was like ooo cool that could be my icon, I wanted a hao icon of some sort

Why did you choose your header?

I don’t have a header here rn but I’m probs going to go back to the header I used on the last blog with a pic of seungkwan and minghao from ideal cut that someone kindly made for me (when I put it up they’ll be linked in my bio for credit, check them out !!)

What’s your post with the most notes?

so since again, this is a remade blog, I’m going to use the post from my original blog that has 3k jun.exe has stopped working

How many mutuals do you have?

if I counted right I have 31 mutuals :))

How many followers do you have?

so my original blog had 2.1k but rn since I’ve remade its 85 😔

How many people do you follow?

right now only 70 blogs, I’m deff looking for more to follow

Have you ever made a shitpost?

probably? idk what qualifies as a shit post

How often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot, I’m on consistently through the day cause I use it and make gifs between work calls since I work from home, I’m trying not to spend as much time on it at night so I can get irl things done and break away from the computer for a bit

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

none that I know the names of, I’ve argued with anons over voting and streaming culture (and will fight anyone on how stupid it is) and I argued with someone cause I said “I’m not a dreamie but this is so not cool” when I saw that video of renjun stuck in the rain without a car to get into waay back (that was debunked I think?) cause they didn’t like that I pointed out I wasn’t in the fandom (my point was that anyone can recognize the situation was messed up and I actually do like some nct dream songs so its not like I hate them)

How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

ehhhhhh I kinda hate them? BUT I’ve used tumblr on and off for a looooooong time and seen SO MANY really stupid ones. I guess some political ones are good but idk, I know the intent is to spread info but I don’t see tumblr as an effective platform for that personally

Do you like tag games?

YES !!I really enjoy tag games, they’re usually really fun ways to get to know the other ppl on the platform

Do you like ask games?

ALSO YES !! but I never get asks when I post them waaah

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

uhhhhh I’m gonna say kevin and dreamy lmao y’all make so much content and I know one of your follower counts so I deff would call you tumblr famous (thank you for all you’re creations you guys always make incredible things !!)

Do I have a crush on a mutual?

nope. first dont know anyone my age here who is also male. second I have a boyfriend. third I just care for everyone in a very very platonic friend way no romantic crushes here :))

Tags?

uhhhhh so many ppl are tagged already sooooo hmmmmm I’m not checking who and I’ll mix it up so I’ll just tag @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @bookwan @heonyz @jeonghanmoon @adorablehoshi @minghaon @kyeomblr @shuaway aaaaaaaaaaaaaand @jung-subins and @seungssik gotta get some victon mutuals in here lol

IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE TAGGED IN THINGS LIKE THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW !!!

#tag game #my answers are weird lol sorry #haven't done a tag game in so long tho #this was a lot of fun #thank you for taggging meeee!! #if I tagged you and #you dont want to be tagged in these #pls let me know !!! #not kpop

[psnowflake]

Charades and a Drink (A Post-Frozen 2 ficlet)

Wrote this cause I really miss writing about fluff/angst. Doesn’t really have anything to do with my other fic. Just had the urge to write this prompt. Hope you guys enjoy it. May continue it. Idk. Link for the fic on ffn is here.

Charades.

This was the third round in a row where she had failed to obtain any points for her and Anna's team. She was bad at this game. She knew it. And seriously, three bouts in a row with no progress? She couldn't quite believe it herself.

But it wasn't her fault that she was so...distracted. It wasn't quite like last time when there was a melodious voice persistently invading her thoughts. This time it was something far more down to earth.

Kristoff was being more touchy with Anna than usual.

Not that it bothered her.

They were engaged now. It would make perfect sense if he wanted to be more forward.

It was just…

Ever since she returned from the enchanted forest earlier that morning, she couldn't help but focus on these details in their interactions.

And if she had to be perfectly honest, it made her feel...sad?

Jealous even?

She didn't quite understand it herself.

"Snow?! This one was so easy! It's basically the same thing as ice!" Anna complained as she reviewed the word that Elsa had been struggling with the entire round.

Anna wasn't mad at Elsa per se. She was just over competitive, and frankly she was tired of Olaf and Kristoff always winning. She really wanted to win at least once tonight.

"I'm sorry." Elsa apologized in embarrassment. "Maybe you should play without me. I'm really not good at these kinds of games. I'm sure one of the servants would be happy to join you if you asked."

"Elsa wait-"

"It's really not a big deal, Anna." She assured the younger girl. "I think you would have a lot more fun playing with Kai. I'll go get him real quick."

Elsa began heading for the door to go fetch the said servant, but not before Anna lunged off the couch to grab a hold of her arm.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to yell. I really don't care about winning or not. Just...please don't leave me." Anna wrapped her arms around her waist and hugged her tightly, and for a second Elsa swore she heard the younger girl whimper.

"I...okay, I won't leave." Elsa responded while patting the younger girl's head, but was then shocked to find that Anna really was crying. She swallowed suddenly, not sure what had gotten into the other girl, but she reached down to cup her sister's cheeks and caressed them softly.

"Hey." She said, bringing Anna's face close to hers so that their foreheads were touching. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Anna hiccuped and nodded, burying herself again into Elsa's chest.

Kristoff looked back and forth between the two of them.

"We'll give you two some alone time. Come on, guys." Kristoff got up and signaled for Sven and Olaf to follow.

"Wait...are you sure?" Elsa asked. "I didn't mean to take you guys away from your game…" She said guiltily.

"It's fine, Elsa. You two should really have the rest of the night to yourselves. Isn't that right, Olaf?"

"Yup! Me and Elsa definitely need some alone time together." The snowman joked, inching away cheekily from the ice harvester.

"Not quite on the mark there buddy." Kristoff said before dragging Olaf out of the room with him. The door shut behind them, and Elsa was left in the silence with Anna still cuddled up against her.

"Anna?" She rubbed the top of the girl's head gently.

"I missed you."

Elsa smiled softly at that. "I missed you too, sis."

It had merely been two weeks since she had decided to live away from the castle. Realistically, it shouldn't have been anything worth crying over, and it certainly paled in comparison to how long they had been apart from before.

But Elsa would be lying if she said she didn't miss home.

Some nights she found herself crying herself to sleep.

The living conditions had been rough. She wasn't used to not having servants around at all times, and not having meals prepared for her at the earliest convenience. It was different, and the comforting lifestyle that she had grown accustomed to was no longer present.

But the reason she had cried wasn't because of the change in living standards. Those factors were trivial, things she could adapt to, get used to.

The reason she had cried...it was because she didn't have moments like this anymore.

Moments with Anna.

It made more of a difference to her than she was willing to admit.

Can I really keep doing this?

She wrapped her arms tight around Anna, suddenly struck with the need to cheer up the younger girl's spirits as soon as possible.

"Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" Elsa proposed.

Anna looked up at her gratefully and nodded.

-----------------------

She wondered if it was really okay to be drinking wine at this hour, and in all honesty, she had never seen Anna drink before. Whether the younger girl was a lightweight remained an absolute mystery to her.

But Anna had proposed that they ask for a bottle. It was her first time back after all. And they were having such a good time in their room; sharing stories, making jokes, reminiscing on the past, Elsa didn't have the heart to reject her beloved sister's request.

So here they were now. Merely on their second glass, and Elsa was already starting to see the alcohol take effect on her poor lightweight Anna.

"Too much to drink? Already?" Elsa teased.

Anna pouted, her face flushed red, from the alcohol or embarrassment, Elsa couldn't tell anymore. "Jus because your perfect at everything, doesn't mean I a-am."

Elsa smiled softly. "I'm far from perfect, sis."

"You're perfect to me." Anna said before grabbing Elsa's waist from behind and cuddling up against her back.

Elsa chuckled, more or less endeared by the drunk display of affection.

"Well you should definitely work on that tolerance. It wouldn't be proper for a queen to act like this at formal occasions. You never know when other dignitaries will ask for a toast." She joked. Mostly.

Anna was quiet and still. Not responding to what she had said in the slightest.

Did she fall asleep?

"Anna?"

"I don't want to be queen."

It was so quiet, barely above a whisper that Elsa almost didn't make it out. But Anna's attitude had changed almost entirely from their previous exchange.

"What do you-"

"I don't want to be queen." She repeated.

Elsa blinked, taken aback, and then laughed softly, turning around and taking Anna's hand into her own. "I think you've had enough to drink for the night. All that wine has you thinking out of sorts."

But Anna wouldn't back down apparently, not after opening up as much as she had. Before Elsa had time to react, Anna was pushing Elsa onto the floor so that she was on top.

Elsa's heart leapt into her throat at their position. "Anna-"

She felt Anna's hands come down to caress both sides of her face, gently, as if she were an art sculpture that could break at a moment's notice. She was so close, their noses almost touching, and Elsa could clearly make out the precise shade of teal in Anna's eyes. She was suddenly filled with a strange desire to close the distance between them in some way.

But Anna was crying again, silently, tears streaking down her cheeks to eventually fall onto her own pale skin. Elsa could do nothing but remain silent and watch, praying that the tears weren't there because of her.

But that was unlikely.

"Why did you push me away?"

Elsa's eyes went wide.

"What?"

"You said we would be together didn't you? So why...why do you still feel so far away?"

The question struck deep within her soul, forcing Elsa to confront the issue that she herself had been admittedly running away from.

Why was she always running?

Why was Anna always crying?

Strangely enough, she found herself trying to answer Anna's question. Maybe the wine was starting to get to her too.

"I-I dont know." She admitted. "I thought that you deserved it. To be queen, I mean. And...you just got engaged. I thought it was the right timing for something like this."

"And...and I'm the fifth spirit." She continued half heartedly. "I should be out there...in the forest. That's where I belong."

Anna stared at her sternly.

"Do you really believe that?"

Did she?

Of course not. But it was something that she had lied about before, and it would've been better if she just lied about it again.

Yet for some odd reason, she couldn't bring herself to say it this time.

"I-"

"Do you love me?"

What?

"O-of course I do."

Anna leaned in close, to the point where Elsa could feel the younger girl's breath fanning over her cheeks.

Her heart stopped at Anna's next words.

"Do you want to be with me?"

Elsa found herself trapped under Anna's earnest gaze. Yet her mind was clear, and the answer held there was without a doubt how she really felt.

She nodded.

"Then stay…" Anna whispered. "Stay with me Elsa."

"Because I can't live another day without you."

A heartbeat.

And then...

Anna inched forward and kissed her.

Elsa was frozen. Shocked.

But to her own growing surprise, a single thought dominated in her conscience.

Her lips are warm.

Slowly but surely…

Elsa kissed back.

A minute passed before they broke away together. Anna leaned back, staring into Elsa's eyes. Nothing was said between them, and nothing needed to be in that moment, until Anna finally brought her head down and rested it against the older girl's chest.

Elsa's heart was beating rapidly. Faster than she had ever experienced before. Faster than she probably wanted.

Words were threatening to leave her lips, and she wanted so badly to just let herself be open.

So badly for once in her life to put her guard down.

And so she did.

"I love you, Anna." She choked out tearfully. "So much that it scares me. I don't know what to do anymore." She admitted.

Anna remained silent, and so Elsa continued.

"But I do know that whatever happens, I want to be together with you. I should've never pushed you away…"

"And I'm sorry."

"Will you forgive me?"

Elsa waited for a response, but again Anna said nothing.

Was Anna still mad at her?

But then she heard it, a deep rhythmic breathing, serene, puffing gently against her chest.

Anna had fallen asleep.

Elsa stared, mouth agape at the resting form of her sister. Had she been talking to herself? And for how long? Embarrassment flooded her cheeks to a dark shade of red.

She really is a lightweight.

Steering herself, Elsa gathered Anna into her arms from the floor and gently brought her to her bed, pulling back the sheets, and tucking the younger girl in.

She sat there next to her. Her thoughts to herself, and her mind simply trying to wrap around everything that had happened in the past hour. Eventually, she laid down next to Anna and stared up at the ceiling.

Her tiredness got the better of her, and Elsa found her eyes slowly shutting, submitting to the gentle lull of sleep.

But moments before sleep consumed her, a thought made its way to the forefront of her mind.

The truth.

I want to kiss her again.

-----------------------

Elsa found Anna the next morning in the dining hall.

"Morning Els!" Anna smiled cheerfully.

"M-morning." Elsa replied shyly. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect from this conversation, but Anna's cheerfulness must've meant that things were okay right? She decided to go along with it. "I'm surprised to see you awake before me for once."

"I know right. I must've gone to bed really early last night."

Anna's words gave her pause.

"Y-you don't remember?" Elsa asked.

"Remember what?" Elsa's shocked expression made Anna gasp in realization. "Oh no. Did I drink again?"

"Y-yeah…"

"Oh god, I didn't do anything stupid did I?" Anna laughed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry if I did, I never remember anything after I drink. I really need to stay away from the wine."

"Nothing happened." Elsa lied. "I just...I'm surprised that you don't remember anything…"

Surprised was selling it short.

Disappointed.

Heartbroken.

Anna must've noticed her change in expression. "Elsa? You okay?"

She really wasn't okay.

She was surprised herself, just how disappointed she felt.

What did you expect? That something would come out of this?

Of course she wouldn't remember. She was drunk for Christ's sake.

Why would you get this excited from an accidental kiss with your sister?

You're sick.

There's something wrong with you.

Her inner thoughts tormented her, to the point where she had the immediate urge to cry, but on the outside she forced a thin smile, an act that she had practiced for years to a near perfection.

Elsa hated doing it.

She absolutely hated lying to Anna.

"I'm fine."

But old habits died hard.

Especially when you were in love with your sister.

-----------------------

"Anna!"

Kristoff found her in the halls of the castle. She had just returned from seeing Elsa off at the docks.

"Did Elsa already leave?" Kristoff asked.

"Mhm. I just saw her off."

"Ah bummer. Wish I could've said bye to her at least."

"It's okay." She said cheerfully. "She'll be back before you know it."

Wistfully, she turned her attention to the window, staring out at the fjord, wondering if she could see Elsa riding on Nokk from all the way up here.

"You miss her already, don't you?"

"Hm?" Anna perked up. "I'm okay. I mean I have you here after all!"

Kristoff smiled at the gesture, and leaned down to capture Anna's lips in a kiss.

They stayed that way until Anna broke away first. She smiled politely up at him afterwards.

"I have some work I need to get done. I'll meet up with you later, okay?"

Kristoff nodded, and she made her way around the corner of the halls where she wouldn't be seen.

Once she was out of sight she pressed her back against the wall and fell to the floor.

She tried to forget it. If she could lie to Elsa about it, then surely she could lie to herself.

But love wasn't something so easily forgotten.

Throughout the entirety of her kiss with Kristoff, she had only thought of one thing.

She wanted to kiss Elsa again.

#elsanna #elsanna fanfiction #elsanna ficlet #frozen #frozen 2 #idk

[pruinesce-a2]

about all your recent posts for fuyumi i can understand how she feels & the constant fear & anxiety she has. to have incompatible parents & your the eldest so it's always a small trigger could make everything fall apart & your trying your best to keep everything together. you over analyze everything action and word to know if things are still okay or is something going to happen? to want everyone and everything to be fine. the amount of responsibility (1/2)

and sometimes you do want to just crash but you physically can't because it's how you've trained your mind to be always 'breath ur fine breath it's okay breath & get up & fix things it'll get better one day. maybe' you wish you had someone who could take off the weight for just a little bit but what if they don't do it right, what if that means i'm getting weak what if what if what if and it is just a nightmare (2/2)

Also because fuyumi's situation reminds me of mine, you feel terrified of romance and don't believe it actually exists, you have the fear of this repeating but with your own family and you dont want your kids to go through the same thing. Also you've never been responsible for only yourself so you're wondering if you ever will figure out who "you" are really. There's so much of yourself defined by the situation you are in that if it's gone, you don't know who you are (3/2 😭😭)

i’m incoherent bc i just got outta class but yes to pretty much all of this. and also, my friend, me too ! fuyumi is a HUGE comfort character of mine because i relate to her so much for the same reasons - and now i wanna go bit by bit n talk about all the stuff you mentioned because i’ve mentioned it in pieces on this blog but never in full and i just go crazy thinking about her. 

trigger warnings for child abuse, death, and just. general unpleasantness.

first of all in all honesty, there’s really no situation in which endeavor could ever be compatible ( which isn’t a jab at you - just want it to be clear that this is beyond parents that don’t get along ! ). he’s straight up abusive and drove his wife to a complete mental break, as well as, as i’ve said before, y’know. beating the shit out of his kids. i wanna also clarify some things on the timeline before i get started ( i’m not sure if you’ve watched/read bnha, but also this is for my mutuals that haven’t ) - fuyumi is now the eldest living. the todorokis had four kids: touya, the firstborn, then fuyumi, then natsuo, and then shouto. and i want to follow that by linking you to this page, where we find out that..... touya died AFTER rei’s breakdown and subsequent hospitalization.

AFTER.

i honestly don’t know the timeline of touya and shouto’s training.... bc in this panel we see that baby touya didn’t have any burn marks, no bandages, he was fully capable of playing and running around. i also think if he would have been trained the same way shouto was, rei’s break would’ve come a lot sooner, and we wouldn’t have panels like this - i think before shouto, while the todoroki family was incredibly dysfunctional, they still had some semblance of a normal family, and that’s why fuyumi is so desperate to try to have a family again; because she knows and has seen that they were a family, or at least were in her understanding as a child. this seems particularly reinforced for me because natsuo, in the light novel, talks about how he always wanted endeavor’s attention as a kid! he thought it was unfair that shouto was the one who was getting it all, so it implies to me that.... one, they had no idea at first, and two, they had to have had at least a decent relationship with him before.

so i think what happened was.... after shouto’s quirk manifested, endeavor began to change. he started training shouto because he developed the quirk he wanted, all that stuff we already know, and the stress of it all drove rei into pouring the boiling water on shouto, and then we know she was put into psychiatric care. fuyumi was 12.

rei leaving was, obviously, hard on all of them. i think fuyumi was the most disconnected from her mother, because rei saw so much of herself in fuyumi and couldn’t stand it at times. natsuo in the light novel also mentioned he didn’t mind the lack of attention because he had his mom! so it hurt fuyumi, a lot, but she was able to be strong for them because a) she was older and b) she and her mother had a strained relationship anyway.

i headcanon fuyumi was the one who found rei and shouto. she heard the kettle whistle, the screaming and crying from the kitchen, and when she rounded the corner she saw her mother and shouto on the floor as we’ve seen in canon. it was incredibly scarring. fuyumi gets frequent flashbacks and invasive imagery from this event, especially when she hears that kettle whistle / sees her brothers in the kitchen. i’ve said it over and over but she hates them being there, shouto in particular - and i think this is backed up in the light novel when she immediately makes the boys leave the kitchen after shouto tries to come in and help.

i also think endeavor thought shouto was ruined after that. his “masterpiece” was ruined because there was a very strong possibility he’d never recover from that injury, and so endeavor, in desperation, turned to his first-born son as a replacement. his wife definitely wasn’t going to be giving him any more kids, and shouto as far as he knew was out of commission. fuyumi had an ice quirk and natsuo was practically quirkless, if not ENTIRELY quirkless. but touya.... had his flames. i don’t think endeavor initially wanted to train him because he wasn’t the perfect combination that he kept trying for with rei - but here, he’d reached his own breaking point, and touya was the only option left to continue his legacy.

but it’s implied endeavor pushed too hard, or was somehow directly involved in touya’s “death.” i put this in quotes because y’know, dabi is a todoroki theory. and this obviously just made things worse. i’m linking to this page again because it says that rei got worse, too, so much so that she couldn’t see shouto anymore - but it also implies to me that natsuo and fuyumi would still visit. but anyway ! touya dies, rei gets worse, and surely soon after endeavor finds out that shouto, while he’d have that scar on his face, would recover... and still be able to be trained.

so ummm.... now i can talk about fuyumi. all that and we’re JUST getting to her.

i’m kind of starting from the last ask here, but you’re entirely right - since the age of 13, fuyumi has never been able to define herself. from here on, she was entirely shaped by her trauma, and by roles she was never supposed to have fulfilled - i.e., motherhood. as a reminder, shouto was 5-6, natsuo was 9-10, and fuyumi, at age 13-14, truly began to step in rei’s place. so fuyumi starts taking care of the two of them while touya was the one who became isolated while he was trained. and like i said in a couple other posts, her brothers rejected her mothering them at first - i.e. natsuo lashing out and saying she’s NOT their mother and shouldn’t act like it, and shouto begging for their mom all the time and not understanding where she went. fuyumi barely had her own time to process what was happening and process the loss of her mother.

and then touya died. fuyumi probably feels partially responsible for his death, too, in the same way she and natsuo have said felt responsible for not helping shouto - she often thinks she could’ve done or said something to prevent that, too. and as you said, she overanalyzes everything and she’s incredibly hypervigilant to her father’s moods, because his satisfaction is, essentially, paramount to survival. touya died because he couldn’t meet her father’s standards, or maybe because he made endeavor angry, or whatever the case.

and you’re also right about the fact that she has no one to share the burden with - or, at the very least, feels like it. the one time natsuo tried to make it easier on her by cooking dinner, their father forbade him from never doing it again. i can only imagine what this fight looked like, and how scared fuyumi was of something so small turning into something irreparable. fuyumi says on this page they “take turns”, but i only think it ever happens when endeavor’s not home.

not to mention, as a defense and coping mechanism, became the image of a perfect mother to her brothers, and a perfect daughter to her father. always putting the boys first - i headcanon when either of them were sick, fuyumi would stay home from school to take care of them. always making sure her father was pleased and mediating between him and the boys. she developed this personality that consists of nothing but love and gentleness and understanding. i talked about this in my post about her and complex ptsd, but i’ll add the relevant excerpt here, too:

it’s also very common for these survivors to re-experience emotions from trauma intrusively - particularly when triggered. these feelings are often disproportionate to the present situation, but are equal to the intensity of what was required of them at the time of a trauma – also known as an emotional flashback.

fuyumi’s trauma has always put her in situations where she plays the peacemaker, the level head, the kind and gentle and understanding one. and because fuyumi is CONSTANTLY re-traumatized and exposed to her triggers because that entire house is one, it’s become her entire personality.

so fuyumi doesn’t really get to discover herself, at all, outside her trauma. her live revolves entirely around her brothers and her father. i think this also contributes to her desperation to repair her family now, because.... she doesn’t know what else is beyond that.

she’s stuck here. she can’t heal or move on right now.

fuyumi is a busybody because she KNOWS if she ever stops moving, she’ll crash, as you said. and it happens on occasion - but always behind closed doors. she has these.... quiet breaks, before she’s “fine” and moving on the next day. shouto and natsuo have never seen this side of her. she keeps this perfect facade of being put together tight under wraps.

i think the last thing to address with this ask is the aspect of romance and family - and once again, my dear friend, you’ve hit the nail on the head ! to start, fuyumi is deeply afraid of romance. she’s in love with the idea of it, as we can tell from her obsession with soap operas and trashy novels, but in reality it takes a long, long time for fuyumi to ever feel comfortable enough to define or initiate things between herself and someone else. it’s why she’s also always involved in people who are very straightforward, who won’t keep secrets from her, because she needs clarity in a relationship always. not to even mention a family of her own - fuyumi is so terrified of becoming her mother. even now, it’s why she refuses to let her brothers in the kitchen with her - because she knows how alike they are.

what’s really incredible to me is that despite all of that, fuyumi’s love and optimism and empathy and all that kindness and gentleness for the world is still very real and true. you can see it in the way she smiles, it’s in the way she sees the little things in people and remembers them, it’s in the unconditional love and understanding she gives to her friends and partners, the care she takes in tending to the family garden, the attention to her students - she truly embodies the good of humanity, the good of people - an aspect of her character that i love is how entirely mundane she is, and yet... she’s so, so special. her path to healing will always begin with forgiveness (though once she’s able to get away from endeavor, she’ll never be around him again), because she’s not a person that can live with anger in her heart, and i will always love how that’s presented as an entirely valid thing to do.

as a final addendum to this post, nearly no one knows about any of that. fuyumi won’t talk about it unless it’s entirely unavoidable, and even then she tries to make excuses and dance around it. like.... she stops up, she can’t speak. she freezes and completely stops functioning. ironic considering how openly her brothers will talk about it.

so anyways. i don’t think you expected this long winded answer, but i couldn’t help myself. thanks for sending this in !

#anonymous #✲ \ 𝚃𝙾 𝙸𝚂𝙼𝙴𝙽𝙴 ‚ meta. #long post // #child abuse // #domestic abuse // #child death // #ask to tag // #GOD THIS GOT SO LONG WINDED BUT I REEEEEAAAALLY WANTED 2 TALK ABT THIS.... #BUT YES !! TO ALL OF THIS !! #MWAH THANK U ANON

[captain-aralias]

Your choice from 5 11 12 16 34 44 (any/all)!

i will of course choose all :p merci. 

5. What fanfic of yours should everyone have read?

the fandom we used to share is ‘gallifrey’, so the clear answer to this is The Importance of Being On Stage, arguably the best thing i’ve ever written. is it funny if you don’t know any of the characters? i have no idea. but i think it’s very funny.

in b7, i’d suggest: An Apple Cleft in Two - it���s so fun and ploty, and i loved writing all the characters and i think it shows

and from carry on: The Mage's Heir - even though it’s been jossed. it still has more ideas than all the others put together (which is not to say i dont like my other fics too). 

11. What’s your longest fanfic?

Keep Calm is way out in front with 68,943 words. 

it’s a re-write of the entire novel, though, so perhaps that was inevitable. i don’t think it drags!

12. Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

16. Do you use sentence starters, writing prompts and/or fandom headcanons for your fanfics?

what an interesting collection of things. sentence starters - no, not usually, as oftne i dont think they sound like things the characters would say and that throws me off immediately. 

writing prompts - yes. i love a prompt, as long as it’s specific, rather than general. i like the idea of ‘carry on countdown’ (except how i don’t have 24 ideas in me) but they’re just one word each. that’s not a prompt - that’s just a thing. 

headcanons - of course. i am a lurker in the fandom discord but in being a lurker, i naturally read what other people are saying..... while i lurk. and this is inspirational, and/or i take stuff from other people’s fics and/or i violently disagree with people’s headcanons, which is often the most inspiring thing of all.

34. How did you find the magical world of fanfics?

i don’t know if this even can be right, but i remember my mum gave me an article from a newspaper about it - suggesting darth vader/bridget jones (which would be a shit pairing. just the kind of pairing someone who didn’t undersatnd fanfic would come up with) and from there i found the pit of voles: fanfiction.net 

it’s so long ago now that i’m not super sure what i started reading - i think maybe tortall, and then potter, and then marauders, and then remus/sirius.

i know i wrote some tortall fanfic at about 13 - something that later became ‘the black mage’ (which i’m not going to link because it’s bad. find it yourself i you want) when i was about 16, but i think... i must not have known it was a thing people did, or i would have posted it on the internet then, because i am an attention whore. 

44. Does fanart of your fanfic exist?

yes! Keep Calm was part of Carry On Big Bang so has a really cool image of the Mage’s phone - which is one of the key things from the fic; and my Golden Days zine fic has a lovely, sunset-y illustration of Baz with the books they stole by @milo-fanarts 

b7 - fanartists seem to mostly like avon/vila! i dont know why this should be, but i think it’s true. and in doctor/master - i just don’t think it was done much, or i wasn’t popular enough or didn’t participate in the right events. (or i’ve forgotten, in which case - please correct me!) 

--

if anyone wants to ask any other questions, please feel free! no pressure to do so.

#my content

[dysfunctionaltrolls]

i feel bad for making this but i feel like i have to

baby’s first call out post

anyway,, i have some things id like to say. i have proof of all of this and it will all be under the cut. this is gonna be really long and im really sorry but its going to be the whole story so stick with me

content warning: being weird towards minors, general nsfw elements, general creepiness, weed (mentions of being high).

everyone involved except for myself and, obviously, them, will have their names blocked out for privacy reasons.

thank you for reading this in advance, i just really need to get this out.

the blog in question is @ask-crappy-fantrolls

in advance

please do not send this person hate. please. i dont care whos wrong or right, hate anons arent necessary.

lets get down to business

point one of ??: ships

im going to say right off the bat, i agreed to some of these. some of these i liked. a lot i agreed to because i was afraid to say no because i didnt want to upset them. some were forced on me. some were made without my knowledge. i will not go into specifics on which ships belong in which categories unless its necessary because this post would be extremely long, but please keep this in mind if you see me reacting positively in screenshots.

this screenshot shows me trying to break off all of our ships the first time. i say right down there at the bottom that i want all of them gone. i thought i was being pretty clear.

one of my trolls (kaivin) has a moirail to whom he is extremely attached. this isnt a secret. he is so attached, in fact, that the two share most quads. so anyone kaivin would get into a relationship with, his moirail would as well. ive posted about this many times and i believe its on his bio but dont quote me on that.

this is me trying to cut the ship off again. i really hate being mean and hurting peoples feelings so i was trying stay polite and let them know gently that hey, i dont want this. keep in mind, this took place after me attempting to cut all of our ships off.

i could put more here but im tired and itd make the post longer than it needs to be. bottom line, i got messaged about ships a lot even though i had cut them all off and literally started shipping with other people by that point. it wasnt a secret, i was posting about new ships.

small tidbit thats very nsfw: one of our ships that we had was purely for their kink, apparently.

for context: axel is my human disguised as a troll who lives on alternia.

literally if you look at cimefas bio, his whole character is just that hes kinky. thats it.

point two of ??: infantalizing me

if you dont know already; hi im joey, im 19, and im a trans man. i am an adult. a grown ass man, if you will. i do not tolerate being spoken to like a dog or a child.

with that being said, here i am being spoken to like someone would a dog or a child:

oh also theres the time they sent me an ask calling me a lesbian HDSFJKSDHF

heres that

i know it was them because they messaged me the same day, claiming not to have known, but we’d already been talking for months and i never went by she/her while having this blog. he/him is all over my blog.

anyway heres a tidbit thats not big enough for its own point but needs to be said: the flirting.

^i just wanted to show them my new shirt :/

anyway next

point three of ??: being weird with minors

okay this bit is very gross but stay with me

right there, no minors. clearly stated. thats fine! thats whatever!! heres what i have the issue with. theyre currently waiting for a few of my friends who are minors to turn 18. no, this is not a speculation. they stated this.

i am keeping minors names blocked out, they dont need to be involved in this.

(quad blocked out so the minor cant be pinpointed)

(different minor, quad blocked again)

(the minor in question is the one from the first two screenshots about “waiting for them to turn 18″)

for context, this was after i reblogged a post about people waiting for minors to turn 18 being gross. yes it was a vague, no i do not care. i didnt say anything to them, they came to me about this unprompted and on their own accord. if the shoe fits, i suppose.

point four of ??: copying

theres been a few instances of this, but heres the main one

i run a cool blog over at @broadcastappear​. i got with a friend of mine and they made theirs one day, i made mine the next. of course, i was excited about this! i wanted to tell everyone about my cool new blog, so i started messaging people! them included!

before i get into the screenshots, here is the premise of both of our broadcast blogs:

slightly odd radio host trolls who talk to each other over the radio waves. my friends troll for their blog is crazy and stuck in the desert, mine is slightly less crazy and stuck in an apartment. shenanigans and extremely cryptic flirting ensue.

so i messaged them with a link to my blog after i made it.

take a closer look at that time stamp! 

keep this in mind

i get sent a link

its a cryptic radio blog. same concept, formatting, plot, everything.

and would you look at that

same day. it was an hour later, actually.

they were confronted about this and denied that their blog had anything to do with ours, even though it was a clear rip off. their blog has since been deleted, i believe. 

anyway, in conclusion, i just really wanted this off my chest.

do with this information what you will. i dont care if i get hate for this, the people who know my situation know how badly this has been on me mentally. ive been archiving things in a server for months while ive been trying to cut them off and im just... fed up. i cant do it anymore. i feel gross. i am the main hub that this is circling around and no one can say thing about it but me. theres a lot more to this that im not adding, mostly because theres less proof but i still know it to be true.

im tired of adults being weird and nasty in this community. i know im an adult too but at least im not gross.

anyway, call out post over. rb or smthn i dont care.

#ask-crappy-fantrolls #discourse #drama #call out #sorry im just trying to hit all the tags #this took a lot out of me to write #ask to tag #im not good w confrontation so im gonna hit post then go hide somewhere