#i even get a little annoyed when people in tv shows stop in a middle of a sentence for whatever reason or are cut off

[dietmountaindewbae]

hiii i LOVE ur fics omg pls never stop writing,

could you maybe do something You-ish (the TV show "You") (idk if you've seen it but it's amazing) something stalker-ish? where alex is joe and reader is his, soon to be, gf (cuz he makes her) (any alex era) 💌

hope ur well🤍💋

xxiii. obsession

alex turner x reader

word count: 12626

summary: We ran into each other by chance or by fate, your clumsiness started something for me, something for us, and it's my duty to find out who you are. (the car! era) This story is written on Alex's narrative.

warnings: obsessions & rough s*x

song recommendation: tear you apart by she wants revenge

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Ever since that day outside of a party, when you fell into my arms, drunk and loud, I had never felt so high, I had felt something the moment you smiled at me and flushed from the embarrassment, your eyes watery from the cold, your lips red full of blood, alcohol running fast through your veins, my heart falling from my mouth, you pulled away and hugged yourself, too embarrassed from what had happened, you thought it was too much booze, I thought it was meant to be, right place and right time. You just said "Sorry," I helped you to get back on your feet, our hands lightly graze and we lock in a stare, but then your mates dragged you across the street, they had dragged you away from me, like parents and their out-of-control kid, you waved goodbye at me, and all I could do was smile and wave goodbye to you, I was a fool, I didn't know what to say, it was one of those 'what would have happened?' moments when I ask myself, 'what if I had just said "It's ok, don't worry, love"' Icould vividly picture us walking down the street, going for some food because we were pissed, I would've kissed you, and asked for your number, then we could be dating, holding hands in the street, laughing at everything, hanging out with your stupid mates, if they hadn't been there and taken you away from me, I probably wouldn't have found meself, hiding behind the threes in the middle of a cold winter in LA, hoping to be in the warmth of your arms than out in the cold darkness of the street. I can't help to wonder if you ever think of me.

Your name and your last name stayed in a constant loop on my mind, one of your mates, the one with the light brown hair had screamed it as she found you falling into my arms, it would be stupid if I didn't look for you, right? You're gorgeous, you were nice and interesting, It would be weird if I didn't try to find your social media. It was easy to find you, I hate to admit how easy it is to find everything online these days, I found your Instagram and Facebook with just a few clicks on my computer, it's too easy it makes me laugh.

I scrolled through every single one of your posts on Facebook, you had a few, not many, everything was mainly about your little family trips and your sister's child, I made a note that you might just have Facebook out of pressure from your mother and sister since they always tag you in memes or those annoying TED Talk videos and you never answer, I found your mother's page, widowed, 49 years old, looks 45, she gave you her face, older sister, found her page too, married with a toddler, awfully bitter since she has to post where she is at all times, even if her child had taken a massive shit and had the looks of a giant worm, she would've posted it, I left the best for last. Your Instagram, no one these days uses Facebook.

Your Instagram was private but empty with not a single sight of you... so it's no use, what about your friends?... Hello you... I could hold on to these group pictures Larissa posted, thank you internet! Your friend group was small but they knew how to get around, only 4 people, two girls called Julie and Larissa, and Julie's boyfriend Luca, 5 if you counted me in, soon, luckily for me, Julie had an empty page, barely any pictures, just her and Luca but her profile was public but that lead me to find your other friend, Larissa had pictures of her face and some of you and Julie at pubs, very self-centered I suppose, Luca only posted about being a gym addict. I took a more personal approach, your sister Nina, who loves you very much, she had plenty of pictures of you. Thanksgiving was at your house, you looked gorgeous in those pictures, you wore a white dress with red flowers and black platforms, your long hair in beautiful waves, if any pervert were to see it, you would be such an easy victim with that long hair, but you're not, you're not so easy to hunt down in the dark. There was a picture of you and your sister's baby boy, sitting next to the three by a bay window, great. I took note of the stores, houses, and historical buildings nearby and then reality hit me as I took a cab on the way to your house.

Come on Alex, what are you doing? You look like a creep with your cap and coat in the middle of the night, It's only just a crush it'll go away, just like all the others. But you see? That's the problem with you, you're not, this is dangerous but I'll take my chances for you, I'm not obsessed with you, like I said, it's only just a crush. I hide behind some trees in front of your house on the other side of the street, and I contemplate this wonderful girl in her bedroom, going round and round with a book in her hands. 

At night me head couldn't stop spinning, making all of these scenarios, about a girl who meets a stranger, and they fall madly in love in just a split second. I didn't need more, I could hold on to your light vanilla perfume and the softness of your hair, your lips, your collarbone, your shoulder, the curve of your breasts in the blouse you wore that night, I want to hold you close and kiss you hard.

For next few days I followed you around, I made you a time table, every morning at 5:30 you went for a run, and you finished off at home some with exercises you found on YouTube, you were visibly struggling, and that made me laugh but I felt bad for doing so, you worked hard, you finished around 6:30, you liked walking like a true new yorker, in your most sober looks, sometimes in a dress with a blue navy sweater on top of dresses , jeans, and a silky shirt, winter or no winter, you loved wearing tank tops, loved exposing even just a little bit of your body, even in the coldest days, your legs, your beautiful shoulders, a v-neck, mini skirts, checkered shorts or pants, and sexy patterned tights with colors like pastel blue, and even red to spice up your all black outfits, and you always wore that luscious and berry coloured lipstick on your lips, heels, motorcycle boots, ballerina flats, dresses, chunky sweaters, straight leg vintage jeans, coats, heels, shoulder bags, mini bags, but what a must was, something that never came off of you, your golden necklace, you're an everything girl, you dressed for the day, it told you exactly what to wear, even if you broke your pattern, you mostly dressed like Jane Birkin, jeans, white shirt, chunky purse, but you love leather, leather belts, leather jackets. Then you walk to your favorite café, and your drink depends on how tired you feel, black coffee for busy days or cappuccinos for the days you don't feel in a rush, then you take the metro, read a book and sip on your coffee while listening to your music, you are in college by 7:30, have 30 minutes to spare, but you're wise, and you use them organize yourself while you ease up with some music, I've never seen a longer playlist to be honest, there's a bit of everything there, you write your things in a red wine journal, I wonder what's in those little pink notes you stick on your notebook.

I made sure you got safely to your workplace after school at 4:00 pm, a bakery, you love talking to the people at the register as they ask you for your favorite dessert, and you always choose the same, tiramisu, rich coffee with some liquor, mascarpone carefully enveloped with delicious whipping cream, and a touch of cocoa sifted all over the tiramisu, and you juggle back and forward with doing school work, help in the kitchen, serve the costumers with a bright and friendly smile, you're tired and they don't pay you enough. And when you get home a 10 pm, you don't go to sleep, you stay up until you're finished but you never truly are, no matter how late or early, you can't sleep, why is that beautiful? Aren't your sheets made of the softest cotton? But I can see, that you are compromised to live in a city that never sleeps, you get ready for your next job at your nearest live jazz pub as a bartender, I'm very familiar with that type of job, you serve the customers with a kind smile as the music rocks you, you talk to other girls, and the artists flirt with you from time to time but you didn't submit, you knew better than that, you got paid well, the tips that fell on your back pocket from the nasty old men helped you to afford your apartment, barely making it to the next cut but you made it.

And every restless night when your mind couldn't stop thinking you went out to the nearest pub, and you made new friends, some men flirted with you until sadly, one night I had to watch you leave with one of them, he conquered your body before me, I wonder if you ever think of me in that way, a sexy stranger, that clouded your mind with ideas until you finally gave in. He did what he wanted to do, and when he left, you were still flushed and needy, that night I watched you hump your pillow with angst to get yourself off, a gorgeous picture to see, one that was engraved in my brain since then.

Every night when I crashed in my bed, and I prayed for this to go away but it continued to grow, I prayed for you to get out of me head, but your face, your smile, every curve of your body lived in me head, and if I don't something about it, you'll hunt me down forever. 

I walked down the street on a Saturday night, It's been a week since we bumped into each other, discreetly searching for you with my eyes, until, I found you, in your West Village, street-level, white, vintage but modern apartment that might be hard for you to afford but you keep on paying it because the creepy landlord has a massive crush on you, he cannot fool me, I know what it's like.

You live in such a melancholic part of New York and also warm, old, and historic, it holds so many stories, and memories that's why it reminds you of home, like the baby pictures your mom posts, your living area illuminated with yellow lights from you mid-century lamps, like the sky in a beautiful afternoon, laying in your sette in a white tank top and panties, finally, you get to relax and enjoy yourself.

I could see the outline of your body through your thin linen white curtains, you were wearing vintage headphones connected to your record player, reading a book, Bukowski's 'Love Is A Dog From Hell' Yes, it must certainly is. Then suddenly you stood up, I'm certain you're barefoot, through a crack in the curtain I can see you're approaching the window, I could see the left side of your face, soft, round, cute little pointy nose, and your eyes, a sparkle in them as you stare into the sky, pink pouty lips, and a little beauty spot in your cheek, your phone in the ear, moving your lips with a smile as if you were talking to the person in the other line in real life. You nodded a couple of times and then you hung up, I saw the outline of your body, running towards your bedroom, what's got you in such a hurry? But before you forget, you turn up the music so loud the whole neighborhood can hear it, you choose something classic 'Bang Bang' by Nancy Sinatra, shoot me down, your linen curtain reflecting the light, and you take out your top in one move tossing it away, the outline of your naked beautiful body stretching had made me think so many things to do with it in less than a second, you pick your clothes with care, hanging them in front of your mirror, posing with the clothes on top of your body.

You sit somewhere in your room, and I can hardly see you, something about your magnetism draws me to you, so I stupidly cross the street and find shelter behind a three, but I get even more stupid as I get to see you doing your makeup in the mirror, your phone rings and your face goes blank, you answer and I see how your expressions change like the way flowers rot, gradually you get darker and darker, until... you break into tears putting an end to the call, and you push your phone away, you look into the mirror, and I see a tear roll down your cheek slowly, your face scrunched, and your cheeks reddened, you look at yourself in the mirror, all I can see is hate and rage, and then, you're cold as ice, not another tear rolls down your cheeks, you clean them up with a soft cotton pad and continue to apply makeup on your face, I wonder who has made you cry? even if it was just one small insignificant tear, whoever that was...they still made you cry.

Before you leave, you check yourself one last time, the dress you choose to wear was way better than the typical night outfits women wear these days, less ostentatious, you like dressing feminine, classic but modern, but not so pretty that you look like a little girl, you were more than pretty, you were hot, steaming, boiling, no man would approach you like that, and that was the sad truth for you but good news for both of us, not as any man would approach you, they had to have big balls to do so, baby doll dress, platforms, and a racer jacket, cute, stylish, edge, as always, you were sharp as a blade to the skin. Your hair is straight and it looks longer than when it's on your natural waves, and the wind blows perfectly on it, but that velvet red lipstick on your mouth might be the death of me.

You went outside, took a cab, and went out, I waved my arm, and soon enough a cab passed by.

"Where to?" The man said.

"Follow that cab in front of you," He took off, it was sad, drivers these days don't even care for men like this, the ones that just order to do something like that, there were a lot of crazy people here, and I had to protect you from them.

I see you being dropped off at a crowded pub, I hand a good amount of money to the man, and he drives off, I see you go inside, and you find your mates, I sit across from you, not too close so that you can see me but, but not so far so I don't hear you. You hug each one of them and you sit in the booth next to Julie.

"What's the occasion?" You said, next thing, Julie turns and shows a sparkling diamond on her finger, "Luke, Luke, Luke!" You teased her in awe, you held her hand carefully, examining it up close to the ring, "It's stunning" You said with a kind smile, it was amazing how I wished to be that hand, the one you caressed with care.

"I wanna do something big for the bachelorette, and I don't know where to start, I mean..." It must be hard for you, everyone around you is married or has a serious more than the 2-year relationship you can't hold on to, everyone has a kid now, everyone turns 27 and suddenly they already have a house, a child, and a loving husband, I wouldn't be like that ever, things won't be like that with me, I promise, we can take it as slow and calm as you want, or maybe go fast, I can go both ways, I just have to wait for the moment I may finally introduce myself to you, maybe by tomorrow when you go out but it must be soon before you forget about that last Saturday night, and it looks like you are in the process of, you are emptying those glasses of wine like coke in a hot summer day.

"Ease up with the wine," Larissa says, "You're gonna end up embarrassing yourself like the last time, you always have to pull a seen," Here we go.

"What fuckin' scene?" You spit back, "I was tired and I had been wearing high heels for more than 2 hours, yes, I was drunk but it was a genuine accident" You were annoyed, why could no one understand that? Accidents happen, and it must be hard for you to stand that pain, if I had stayed over, I would've given you a lovely massage, and treated you the way you're supposed to, I'm starting to be not very fond of Larissa.

"Uhu, yeah, but do you remember the last time you went to that party and got so drunk you "accidentally" confused a cigarette with marihuana and cried in the street like a baby?" Larissa, you just had to make it worse, didn't you?

"Fuck off, I can do whatever the fuck I want, if you don't want to believe me that's fine, oh!... and a scene, Larissa, a scene is what you pull when you yell at everyone as if you were the fucking owner of everything and everyone" You took your purse and rushed out, I see that Julie went out to get you, so I discreetly follow her, and find you waving your arm for a cab.

"Wait, don't go," Julie says with a caring tone, "I know you're not ok, you can't lie to me, you know how Lari is..."

"But why does she have to be a fuckin' news flasher of everything I do, embarrassing me in front of everyone, making me look like I'm not fun to be around," Julie tried to hug you but you wouldn't let her near.

"You say some scary shit while you're drunk, that's the only thing I'm going to agree on, but I can see you're not ok," Intuitive, honest, and kind, good choice for a friend.

"He called me" Julie sighs, who is he? This is the prize of being old fashioned, just like me, that's another thing I like about you, you have a life, even if you spend time alone, you go out in the world instead of taking a picture of it and expose your life, you have a little life, but it's yours and only yours.

"What did he want?" You shrugged and searched for something in your leather purse, taking a cigarette, and desperately flicking the lighter on.

"He just asked how I was, while he's off... modeling and possibly fucking two to three girls every single night, and he asks me how I am, drunk and high, he's so... he's-" To find the right words to describe that wanker only made me think about the damage he must have done to you, come on, spill the name, "That's not really everything, he's just-"

"Part of everything" Julie answered back, hugging you close to her, a caring hug, sweet, I could take a picture of it, I'm glad there is Julie for you, "Go home, and text me when you get there," She holds her arm up, taking a cab for you and sending you back home, I did the same thing as before, and the man did as he was told. But the problem was, you didn't go home, you went to a nearby liquor store and bought more wine for yourself, you drank it straight from the bag and you plugged in your wired earphones to your phone, kicking your feet and humming to the music 'New Dawn Fades' by Joy Division, a sad post-punk classic, you should be glad I am here to be on the look for you as you waddle in the steers, an easy target, if anyone dared to do anything to you, well, you must be glad there is me.

You walked a few blocks to your house, but you didn't go in, you couldn't hold yourself up anymore, so you sat by the staircase, defeated since you were desperately looking for your keys in your little purse, and you stared into the empty dark street, and you cried, you kept crying so hard it makes me feel the need to go and help you, I didn't really think about what I was doing, you were desperate, and I was afraid of letting you stay outside like that, then you stood up, unpredictable as always, I see you taking a fast pace. What are you thinking about? Did you forget something? You walk a few blocks until you stay still on a crowded street, the cars on that street go by faster, and you stare into the void as the red lights flash before you in straight lines, your cheeks stained with black tears, the darkness takes you in like one of their children, your head wrapped up in horrible ideas, so dark they blind your eyes, so atrocious your mind can only find one way to make you see the light at the end, you can't find peace, your body is tired, your eyebags are heavy, and you don't feel like yourself, you've lost control and you murmur something over and over again under your breath like some sort of sick prayer...

"A loaded gun won't set you free"

I see you take a step forward, now standing on the pavement, my heart drops to my stomach, and I run to get you, the wind blowing my cap away, what are you doing? why are you doing this? I can fix it, I can fix you, I can help you, I'll make it all disappear, before you take another step, the bus coming your way was out to get you, and you closed your eyes, but I won't let you go like that, my hand grasps your shoulder tightly, and I pull you to my arms, you're cold, shivering, your wired earphones fall from your head and get tangled in your hair.

"Are you alright?" Your face is wet with tears, and you look at me with big eyes, flushed again from the embarrassment, but that sparkle, that little fucking sparkle just makes me so mad, I'd kill for you to see me like that over and over, your little nose red, your eyelids a bit puffy.

You quickly wipe your tears, "Erm..." You sniffed, and you stared into my face with a cute and educated smile, "No... I mean, yes... sorry, I'm just... I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry," You scan my face, the familiarity of it makes a grin spread on your lips, "If I sound like a creep please stop me, but, I think I know you" Your lips curl into a bigger smile, as you realize who I am, I am that man, I am the man who will always be there for you, "You're that guy I fell into the other day" I pretend as if am amazed over who small the world is.

"Hey you," You said to me with a smile.

"Hello you" We both look to our feet, and I feel some warmth creeping up me cheeks, "We gotta stop meetin' like this" I see you flush, looking at me through your lashes, you slowly bite your bottom lip as you brush your hair out of the way, flirty. You struggle to untangle your earphones from your hair, I take a step forward and gently untangle them.

"You just had to come and rescue me again huh? Who are you? Superman?" I hear your voice, and your laughter like a melody I would love to hear over and over again, gentle, a little deep, but beautiful, I can see that behind all of that dark makeup and those dark looks, you're a sweet but lost little girl.

"I'm Batman" You're laughing and blushing at my jokes, that means that you like me.

"I like your accent batman" That's nice to hear, some people say that it sounds too rough and I sound like a scumbag, but I'm glad your ears enjoy the sound of it.

"Thanks, love" You take a step forward, your eyes looking at mine and then at my lips, it's hard to breathe right now.

"What are you doin' so late, huh? Are you wearing your costume?" You tease me, and we begin to walk together, to nowhere, just where we want this conversation to take us.

"Sort of, and you?" You shrugged, what a hard night you had. I'm worried about you, you didn't need to apologize for "not thinking", we kept walking until the smell of food dilated our nose trails.

"Just went for some drinks with a couple of friends nothing too exciting... do you mind if we stop for some food?" My fantasies had become real, you wanted to get some street pizza, the nice old man smiling at you tenderly, he's nice, not creepy, just a nice man, you ask for two slices of pepperoni with Italian sausage and the man is nice enough to give you the most fresh and warm slices of pizza, "Here, it's on me... it's the least I can do"

"Thank you" You chuckled and waved it off, gosh I wish I could just freeze this moment forever.

"I should be thanking you..." You wait to hear my name, and I stay silent contemplating this moment for a second, this is how it starts.

"Alex" You shake hands with me as your tongue, teeth, and lips articulate your name, you have a lovely name, and I'm crazy about you, "Charmed" I hold my gaze at you as you slowly let go of me hand.

"So, what were your plans for the night before I had completely crashed them" Funny, dark jokes, sarcasm, you're really smart but you don't like showing it off, you make me laugh so much, it's clear we have the same humor, that's another reason as to why you're perfect for me and I am for you.

"Um... I thought about going out somewhere, anywhere, sometimes I can't sleep... I'm afraid of losing life by being a slave of me work, me house, everythin' but I found something exciting" You smile to yourself, and you smile at me, you see? We're perfect.

"I do that sometimes... whenever I can't sleep, I go to a bar and you know... try to meet new people, I hate having to post about it on social media though, everyone has their screens glued to their faces, and I just don't like that, I don't wanna breathe my phone, I wanna breathe air" If I were you I would write a whole book about this, I love that you think just like that, we can be people for once, and run around the world and make it ours, "What do you do for a living?"

"Music producer" You smiled at me, "And I have the gift of guessing people's favorite artists,"

"Really? What are mine's?" I have the chance to look at you confidently, I see you like that, I can see how fast your heart is going, how you try to calm it with your breathing, your chest rising and falling fast, as I stare into your eyes intensely making little goosebumps crawl like spiders, I hope you know how much I like you.

"Nancy, Lana... and summat dark like Joy Division Unknown Pleasures" You clap and you're amazed at how exact I am, I can smell it on you.

"Exactly, I love them," You began to hum their songs, dancing on the street, I follow your lead, as you spin, "I was listening to it a few moments ago" You turn dark again, I'm not going to let you, I immediately regret ever saying that, I don't know what that bloody song did to you, but you were listening to it before you attempted to get crashed.

"I'm glad I was there" Sweeten up, tell me what's wrong, I'm here for you.

"Yeah... me too, I wasn't thinking straight..." You clean your throat, you cross your arms, and furrow you're eyebrows, it makes you angry to say it, makes you sad, makes you frustrated, and even so since you watch me patiently waiting for you to tell me what happened to you, I didn't have to say it, you already knew "I don't think you would like to hear about my problems Alex, they're meaningless"

"Nothin' is meaningless just like us meeting tonight perhaps..." Shite, I take it back, I can see your face looking at me weirdly, but you smiled, you're fascinated? Did you like that?

"You're right," You warm up to me, I can see it in your body, I can see it in your face, I've given you no reason to not trust me, I'm harmless, I told you you can trust me, "But I want a ciggy, if you don't mind" You lean against a brick wall, your leg supporting your weight, I'm in love with your smooth and shiny legs, what's your secret?

"Mind if I steal one?" You say no with your head, you check your box again, and you curse in your head. The box has only one cigarette left.

"Sharing it is" You light your cigarette with your pink lighter, I can see some cute puppy stickers on it, you inhale the thick white smoke and exhale it, your whole body relaxing, feeling lighter, you feel calm, and you hand it to me, holding it between your index and your middle, you have a vintage silver rose ring in your middle, cracked red nail polish, and the cigarette butt was stained with your gorgeous red lipstick, I take it in between my lips, your lipstick tastes sweet like marshmallows, I savor it, Jesus, I hope I can taste your pretty lips soon.

"Talk to me," You sigh, and your mouth articulates each phrase, your voice tired and sad, I hear every detail of your story with care, a girl that can't control her alcohol, one that just wants to have fun, one that makes stupid mistakes but learns, I see beauty not only out but inside you, in your mistakes, in your intentions, in your life, you only got one, and you've made noble mistakes, I can see you're a whole woman, a hot and determined woman, but you have no road clear enough, no road to pick, you're chasing something you don't even know what it is.

"So now, I'm just trying to see what happens, I'm getting my degree soon, and then I'll keep working, maybe I'll start something on my own" Maybe if you don't love your work, at least you can come home back to me, I'll cook dinner, I'll wash your clothes, I'll set the table, I'll prep you a warm bath, I'll shower you, you won't move a single finger when you come home to me, "How's working as a music producer?"

"Oh, well, it's great... sometimes we have our differences but most of the time I just do what people tell me to do, in secret I make their music better, sometimes they don't notice and they just brag about how amazing was their idea" Your cigarette burns away into my fingers, I set it off into the wall and discreetly put it inside my pocket, you change the direction, we're going back, you're shamelessly eying me up and down, I swear if you don't stop...

"What are your favorite bands?" You're changing the subject, I don't like that, I don't like that you don't want to talk about what you've told me, but I keep you interested.

"Well... an old-time favorite is The Strokes" I answer firmly, you take out from your purse your earphones, plug them into your phone, and press play on the music as we walk together sharing your music, 'Call It Fate Call It Karma' on full volume.

"Might be basic for you, but I don't see a better song for this moment" You turn to face me, and we stop in the dark corner of the sidewalk, your eyes greedy and precious, that bloody spark in your dark eyes excites me, it's all in your eyes, I can see it clearly, I can see what you want from me, you blink slowly and wait for me to make the next move, and I don't doubt for a second, I close the space between us, and very gently press the palm of my hand to your warm cheek, it's warm and pink, staring into your eyes like stars in the black sky, kissing your lips, sweet as burned marshmallows in a bonfire night, you kiss me so softly at first, but you make that animal inside me come alive, I'm a man, I'm an animal, and I kiss your tender lips hungrily, I didn't expect for you to answer back with the same hunger, you feed me with your kiss, and your breath tastes like ecstasy, I'm a junkie, sweet sweet nicotine, I'm a chain smoker, "Take me home, Alex..."

"I'll take you anywhere you tell me, sweetheart" You grab my hand, fingers intertwined, and I feel 15 again, my palms are sweaty, my sweat is cold, and I feel so warm in my clothes, I can't wait to take them off, the anticipation getting the best of me, you make my dreams come true, and I'm so happy the world had chosen you to fall into my arms. I'm your protector, a guardian angel.

On the way home, we sneak to share some angsty kisses three or more times, you're getting me worked up, letting me touch you, grasping your hips, biting my lip, kissing my cheek, moaning my name into my lips, you're making my head spin. We walk up the stairs together, opening the door to your shelter, you have a lovely house, so clean that some things are allowed to be misplaced, it's big because you don't like having so many things out, your bed is on the other side of the wall were you living area is, the vague familiarity of it makes me feel like I'm imagining it all.

"This my girl cave, my crib" You joke, I take pictures of it in my head from bottom to top, every single inch, every place I imagine us being in, watching tele, cooking together, making a mess of the kitchen of course, dancing, fucking, scratching your wooden countertop, "What do you think?"

"It's-" We both get freaked out by the knocks at your door, some dickhead calling out your name, begging you to open the door, you roll your eyes, you know exactly who he is.

You swing open the door, cross your arms, and stand your ground, marking that he's not welcome here, you're strong, you're determined, go you! Show some teeth, "I don't wanna hear another one of your crazy fucking stories, tell them to your mother, Cameron" You were about to shut the door in his face but he stops it with his foot, that must've hurt Cameron, that's your ex isn't he? The one who made you cry, "Leave" You spit.

"I won't, you can't possibly ask for something like that... you and I know there's no one better than me, no better match than us" You stay silent, why are you thinking? why are you second-guessing? He takes a step forward, he's getting closer, you're face is a frown, you don't want him to touch you even though he keeps trying.

"I don't want you here, you must leave now Cameron, I want you out" He turns into hysteric laughter, he thinks you're crazy, he thinks you've lost your mind, well big shot, you're not it, Cameron only wants to hurt you with his words, he wants to make the most damage, he gets off at this, making you his only real standard, but Cameron will never treat you like you must be treated.

"Don't talk me to like that" I take his aggressiveness as a sign to take a step in, who the fuck does this wanker think he is to talk to you like that? You see that's a real scumbag, and I'll be his worst nightmare.

"Like what?" I come up from the back, cocky, sounding like a total prick, and I can see that you love it, when I sound like this, dominant, confident, "She's telling you to go, I'm telling you to fuck off. Now" I slam my voice at him, there are scary people in this world, there are men like Cameron, he has an intense gaze, but he wouldn't ever pick up a fight for anyone, yes... not even you, he's too vain, a narcissist, he is all bark but no bite, and then there are the men who would move mountains for their loved ones, he steps away, and I shut the door close, I can feel you shivering beneath my skin.

You stare at me, and I drag you in closer, that's what you like... you liked to be treated rough, you like being needed, I push your hips against mine, I can see it in your face, you've felt it, you've felt how hard my cock is, and it's hurting so fucking bad now, I can't wait for another second, I can't wait to take you to bed, you jump on me, wrapping your gorgeous soft legs on me, I decide to leave the first reminder of me on your kitchen table, laying your body on top of the cold wooden countertop for the first reminder of me and the things I'm about to do to you, my knuckles pull down your panties, ripping them off from your skin, your pussy glistening, bathed in your wetness, I can smell your flesh from the distance, like a predator and their victim, I'm a lion, "I'm gonna fuckin' tear you apart"

"Fuuuckin' please" You moan so loudly I bet it could be heard from across the street, and your voice shivers, I've barely even touched you yet, and you're already so wet for me, what are you thinking about? what's in your mind? I wish I could crack your skull open.

I lower myself in between your legs, I've been so busy admiring your body, the scent of the almond oil you rub on your smooth legs, I bet that you shaved them today, and I wonder what else have you shaved, your dress rides to your hips as you contortion under my touch, Jesus, you're desperate for it, but no, I want to enjoy you.

"Calm the fuck down, lay still and close your eyes" I order, and you stiffen up, staying quiet, and still, "Atta girl", I can finally see what's in between your gorgeous long legs, a pink and small pussy, Jesus, I bet you're so fucking tight by the looks of it, my ring and middle finger begin their assault, pressing down vertically against your clit, you hum and your hips writhe against me fingers, slowly, pushing them, you like that, rubbing yourself against them, and when I see you through the glass I lose my mind, I see how me fingers get coated and damped in your wetness, and I love watching you get so worked up by that, I can feel me cock just getting harder by the second, it's hurting and it's a pulsing pain, but I bare with it just for you, because now I'm going to show you how exactly you're supposed to get fucked.

I spread open your pussy, pink and warm, swollen clit I pinch in between me fingers, and you hiss but you only get wetter, if I pinched for a little longer you were sure coming all over the table. I open me mouth to taste your warm and savory juices, I suck and kiss your clit, picking up with my tongue your wetness, you're going to cum so good, I can feel it building up, you're in for a ride, and you've just begun to climb up the roller coaster.

"Oh... that's soo good" You gasp and sigh, I let my two fingers twist inside your pussy, me knuckles rimming your walls slowly, the bumpy and hard skin of my fingers make you gently fuck yourself into them, while I watch you with my tongue lapping over your clit teasingly, just those gentle touches make your legs shake, and your walls to contract, you're wonderful, you behave well, your hands slowly crawling into me hair, pulling it gently, your little whimpers get me worked up and I have to put in the biggest effort to not palm meself, I want you to feel every inch of me.

"You feel so lovely, babe doll" This feels so right, you bite on my lower lip, pulling my flesh until it bleeds. You're a sucker for my accent, you really are, you enjoy hearing me voice, doesn't it relax you? Doesn't it turn you on? I want to know what it is... I want to feel what it is, your legs keep shaking and your body keeps getting stiffer, your lower abdomen making pressure, and your walls are closing around me fingers, I shake them inside you, your mouth falls open, my lips sucking your clit harder and your body arches until I feel your cunt losing up, feeling your release leaking out of that tiny little hole, I'm eager to taste it, I eat your pussy eagerly, you know I'm hungry for it, my mouth eating your pussy like a soft and warm bun, and you taste just as sweet, just as good as I imagined, I won't let you rest, I will keep you on the limit. I drag you forward, making you kiss me lips, "Do you taste that? Taste how sweet you are... taste how good I ate you"

"And you're gonna fuck me just as good?" Your hand sneaks in between me legs, you love how hard my dick is for you, it makes you feel so thrilled, makes you feel good about yourself, and it makes you feel hot.

"You'll just have to wait a little bit longer, I'm not done with you" I'm certain about something, you're a kinky little shit, and I know you want something like this, I bend you over the kitchen table, and you're just ready for it, arching your back, spreading your legs, you're not putting a fight, my hand kneads your ass like dough, and spanks it hard over and over again, "You precious little thing, are you going to do everything I tell you to do?"

"No" You state firmly, earning another smack in your ass.

"Tell me summat..." I push my hips against your dripping wet cunt, that's oozing for another smack, "How much do you want it?" You sigh, rubbing your ass against my cock, you're killing me, you better stop now, the friction, the warmth, your goddamn smell, "Answer me you fuckin' cunt" You giggle, you do love it.

"I want you so bad" You whisper, no, I don't like that.

"Not enough" The smacks you earn are getting harder to bear, but you enjoy them, and so do I, you masochistic little shit.

"I need you inside me, Alex... I can't wait any longer" You rock your hips against mine, humping your naked pussy against my bulge, "Please..." You whimper so sweetly, I can't handle it any longer, I take off your dress, and you're wearing nothing but your tall black heels, looking like a fuckin' hooker, but I bet that's what you like.

"You want it you fucking slut?" You keep whimpering and rubbing yourself on me jeans, I bet that you've stained them already, "Come here" I turn you around and kiss you deeply, I can feel your hands unbuttoning my shirt as fast as you can, even in the heat of the moment you don't break my shirt but I couldn't care less, I take your hands and make fists ripping it apart and throwing it away, you're even faster to take out my jeans and leaving me on my boxers, that's the one good thing about me, I can see how your eyes lit up as you see how hard me fat cock is for you, you bite your lower lip and I pull you back up from your knees.

Time for reminder number two, the settee, I pull you up, and you sit in my arm until I put you back to the ground gently, I have to let you know that I was here, I need you to know how good I am, no other man could please you like that, I pull your leg up while you hold yourself up with the other, your pussy is so fucking wet my cock slides inside you so easily, I can feel the electric shocks that run all over your body, "Hard, please" You whine, I'm going to show you what hard actually is.

My hips thrust inside you so roughly the settee moves out of place, your nails dig into the cushions as I keep railing your tight hole harder, and you scream like bloody murder, I hope your neighbors don't call the police, I hope they can see how hard you're getting your cunt fucked, I want everyone that walks by to hear you, "You wanted hard babe!" You moan and scream, and keep getting your pussy pounded like meat being beaten up to get it tender. I dig your head into the pillows.

"Don't... d-don't-" Don't what?

"I can't understand you, babe, can you repeat that for me?" You pant trying to catch your breath, and your legs are numbing up, and I can see they've lost some strength, "Do you want me to stop, because I can" As I saw you didn't make a move, I began to pull out but you stopped, digging your nails into my wrist.

"Don't stop for fucks sake" Now for the next one, I stay buried inside you like that, you keep trying to fuck yourself into me cock but I just won't allow it, I pick you up once more, and your legs around my torso, and you press your warm chest against mine, I lean back against the giant bookshelf next to your bedroom door, you hold on into the shelves for leverage while I drive my cock inside you, your pussy feels so tight I wish I could let this last forever, I'll make that pussy mine.

"You want more, babe?" You hum and gasp, yes of course you do, you're loving every single inch of me cock, "God you look so beautiful with your mouth opened like that," I lick your bottom lip, "And that little cunt of yours is so wet for me, you're just making things harder for me..." I pushed meself too hard inside you, the shelf shook, and something hard dropped to the ground but you ignored it, you've lost yourself in my touch, and I feel embarrassed for dropping something. Your inner animal wakes up as I throw you into your bed.

I crawl on top of you but you gather up your strength to flip me over, I didn't expect that, you've taken the lead and I want to see you lose control, you writhe your hips into mine, your eyes facing the roof, and your mouth wide open, your hair falling into your head, you looked possessed, but you had lost the power to think about what you were doing, "For fucks sake" If you keep moving like that, you're going to make this end sooner, and I've already planned everything out, I try to sit up but you hold me down, chocking me so hard that it's almost impossible to breathe for me, but I love that feeling, my head feels light, my vision is blurry, but I'm not going to give in to you, I already have, you have got to give into me.

I flip you over so harshly, your head almost slammed against your headboard, "Listen to me you fuckin' cunt" My harsh tone makes your core shake, "You ain't the one on command, now... I don't wanna repeat meself" It's arousing you, I can feel it in between your legs, you're shamelessly getting wetter, "Don't make me repeat meself again" You love to play with me, I see that naughty little smile curling into your lips.

"You already did" You like to pull on my hair, don't you? And you will pay for that.

"Don't fuck with me" Your eyebrows push together and your little smirk makes me go mad.

"You know I love to" Love? You "love to"? Does this mean that you might love me? Even just a tiny bit?

"You do, huh?" I begin to rock my hips against yours, slowly, passionately, like a slow and steaming dance, I see your fingers grasping the sheets making hard fists, "You don't know what you've gotten yourself into" And I'm not lying, you really don't.

"Show me Alex" You whisper to me those three words so sexily, charmingly, I've already lost my mind.

"I'll show you how a real man fucks you, babe," Your oozing with the thrill, "I'll show you how to behave... you little fuckin' cunt" Your mouth opens to moan and I take advantage of it to spit inside your mouth, both my hands chocking you, "You're mine... all mine"

"I'd love to" You whimper, "Make me yours please... please just do, I want you Alex" You keep asking me that with your little weak voice, your body that speaks to me, I can read it so easily, it tells me that I'm doing exactly what you want me to do, it shivers, and it quivers, and it sweats, it screams, it tightens, it stiffens, in your eyes I can feel your fast heartbeat in my fingers, and it goes just as fast as mine, my body against yours sounds like I'm butchering you, your neighbors must think I'm holding a knife against your throat, but it does go as deep, it does penetrate and it hurts you in the most magnificently and pleasingly way, your eyes red shot, and your voice gets quieter, shit, I'm losing you, I am.

"Wake up, wake up!" I scream to you, my hand patting your cheek lightly, your pulse is barely detectable, I slap you across your face and you gain back consciousness in the blink of an eye, I didn't want to do it, I would never do that, but when your lips curl into your devilish smile, I know see how you really are.

"Do that again Al" You tease me, I love it when you call me like that, no one ever really does that anymore, is that my new nickname? Al? You're going to remember me forever babe, I hope you do, and tomorrow when you wake up, I'm still going to be there, I'll make your breakfast, and I'll do anything you ask me to do, even dishes, you won't pick them up.

"You're mad, woman" You giggle, and you try to pick yourself up, I can't let you, I did knock you over completely, my hand very gently caresses your cheeks, it's red and fragile, it must burn or at least sting, "Let me do the kissing for now, babe"

"And the fucking too perhaps?" You smile at me, your cute little button nose is flushed, your cheeks and chest are red, your nipples are hard, it turned you on to this point, you're dark, what else are you not telling me? "I'm crazy about you" Those words will echo in my head for the rest of my days.

I take no rush into fucking you, I'm not just a guy you'll sleep with, I'm your man, and I wanted to make sweet sweet love to you, but you won't let me, you like it rough, hard, fast, I don't want this moment to be over, at least not for me yet, you can cum as many times as you like, and like the real man I am, I am profoundly true to the saying 'Happy wife, happy life'

I hug you close to me, that's the least I can do, if I'm going to lose control, let my heart tell yours how much I love you, even if you dump me like a puppy, I'll stay loyal, I'll follow your scent everywhere, I will forever remember the scent of your vanilla hair, your Dior perfume, and the golden necklace around your neck, I counted 15 moles on your body, even the one in between your legs, my hands grab your hair into fists as I pound you harder and harder, you're losing your mind and I'm losing control again, your bed squeaks so loudly and the headboards slams against the wall so harshly, but I don't stop I can't stop now, I can feel you, I can feel it coming, you bring yourself to an end again, the palm of my hand slowly adds pressure on your lower belly, to ease you up, the bed keeps squeaking so annoyingly, and even after we ignored the several warnings, the legs of your bed broke and your headboard fell to the ground, we both break into laughter.

"Oh God!" Your little laughter is so bubbly and funny, it makes me smile and feel so ashamed at the same time.

"I'm so sorry, I'll pay for that" You rub the tip of your little nose against mine, and look at me tenderly, your fingers caressing the back of my head, if only you could see the hearts in my eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous... you know, I've never broken a bed before... you're not going to be easy to forget batman, I hope you don't disappear into the night soon" I'll get you off first, but there's one thing you should be certain of.

"I never intended to" Was that too much? Sorry if that was too much, maybe it was... maybe it wasn't, I'm having a hard time reading your face right now, you're looking at me very seriously, I don't want to get my hopes up, but you're killing me, I should focus now, finish the deed, "But I'm still sorry about your bed though"

"Shut the fuck up, and keep fucking me" Whatever she wants, whatever she wants... You're already the song on the radio I got stuck in me head.

I pull us closer to the safest edge of your bed, toss your legs over me shoulders, and bend them over, I lean over and pound the living shit out of you, I was balls deep inside you, and you like it, so much that you dig your nails into my back, scratching my skin until red and bloody, I don't care how much it hurts, leave as many marks as you want, the deeper the better, my hair falls over my forehead and you make the kindest gesture, your brush it back with your long nails, even if by now I'm sweating like a pig you keep bringing me closer to you, I can feel the light tingles of you breathing in me face, of you biting down on my golden chain making laugh, making me go insane, I keep pushing harder, and you throw your head back, almost letting go of me, but I won't let you, I'll send you to heaven if you want, but don't leave without me.

"Oh, Alex... I'm so close, please..." Your eyeballs turn into beautiful glossy pearls, and you crumble down into pieces as you coat my cock in your warm release, I can feel your walls pushing it out and running down your cozy hole, I stay buried inside you, watching your mouth fall open and choke out your last orgasms, they spin in my head like a tiny little music box, "You're next, Alex... you can't end things like that... you know how much I want it, you already did so much for me" Wait, what are you doing?

Your hands run up my chest, and you massage my shoulders, "You really want me to breed you, you greedy little fuck?" Your hands go down and you massage my balls, Jesus, you really do, I bet you're not even aware of what you're doing to me... or are you?

"Yes Alex, use it... use me" You know exactly what you're doing, I drag my cock out just rimming your walls once again, I better start warming you up, but you don't want that now, you're thinking about me, about what I want, you deserve a little star on your forehead for being so caring, a man and its needs, it's nothing compared to your needs, and I bet you needed someone to get you off correctly.

"You're mine... I want you to say it" I promised to you since the beginning, I won't stop until you're mine, "Are you mine?" I look at you with my big eyes full of hope for you to say it, please tell me now.

"I'm yours Alex" My lips taste your mouth, your tongue dancing with mine. You're made of the sweetest poison

God, I remember that time I was watching through your window, that night you were laying down on your settee, your hand was vigorously and shamelessly rubbing your clit in circles, fucking your little cunt with two fingers, rocking yourself into your touch with the desperate need to rub yourself against something hard, just like you were rubbing yourself against me hard cock. You keep squeezing my balls, your hands sneak into my ass squeezing it gently to keep me going, you love having me right at the edge of ending it all, I can't keep it up for another moment anymore, you're big stary eyes, your little sparkles, your touches, the smell, the noises, you're begging for me cum, I slam my fist next to your head, dragging your body up as I push myself deep inside you and coat your walls in me creamy cum, you're pure bliss as I feel us both coming together, a gorgeous after bliss surrounding us, you have this certain smell, a certain heat, and you're just so beautiful with your cheeks flushed like that.

"Let me clean you up, it's me mess, just lay down" You nod your head, laying gently on your broken bed to not let it crash completely into the ground, you point your finger telling me where the toilet is, and I rush there to grab a few paper towels and clean your skin softly, soothingly, I can feel you relaxing, I can smell my body in yours, the smell of my cologne, your almond oil, and your pheromones. And when I'm done you grab my hand and I can see you thanking me for even that tiny gesture, that's nothing you should be thanking me for, that's the least.

"Now the question is... where are we going to sleep?" We? You want me to sleep here, with you? You're not quicking me out, or at least not yet, this is my chance and I would be lying if I didn't say I was the luckiest man alive.

"Maybe the settee would be a nice place" Your gorgeous olive green settee, corduroy, soft, and marked, I can see you smiling at the space in between your two cushions, I see your giant ivory bookshelf, another mark. I lean forward to pick up what I had dropped when we assaulted the shelf, but it wasn't one of the thousands of vinyl records you've got organized by letter, it's a case... a guitar case. I didn't know that about you. Tonight made me realize that you're a hat full of surprises, the deeper I search the more I find.

"Want some food?... I've got some nuggets and fries... and-" You close your fridge and turn to look at me, "Oh, you know how to play?" I nod my head, trying to stay as noble and humble, you smack your hand into your forehead, "Of course, you do," You sigh and I can hear you whispering to yourself, "Stupid question"

"And do you?" You hum as a yes, interesting, I bet you do, but why do you hide your guitar like that? As if it was buried in this beautiful world with music, colors, words, and meanings.

"I did..." You turn on your air frier and toss some nuggets and fries in there, I'm so happy that you're not like one of those crazy keto girls, you pour us some fresh orange juice as you keep talking to me, "But you know, my mom always told me 'that's just a hobby', and when I moved here I hoped to find some people that wanted to share this fire to try to make some music... but I never managed to, and then I just gave up"

"That's a bit sad, love... you shouldn't have" You lean over the kitchen countertop, amazing reminder, I see you smiling over the edge of your shoulder, but you turn to look at me as you pick up some of our clothes, and then you run into my shirt and you decided to wear it as your sex shirt, you look beautiful, "I mean, being a music producer and making it was hard, but it was even harder to follow something I'm not passionate about" That's what's wrong, you didn't follow your passion, that's what you're missing, "Have you got any songs?" Your face lights up but it quickly slips away, and the redness crawls into your face, What? I'm trying to help you, I want you to be happy with me and with your life.

"I can't accept that" You quickly answered, your head said no but I know you want this, it's served on a silver platter, why can't you let your reserved self accept this?

"Accept what? I haven't said anything, I just asked if you could sing for me... I know you have a lovely voice" You laugh sarcastically at me, leaning over to fetch your guitar, and searching for a notebook on your vinyl shelf.

You sit next to me, legs crossed, guitar on your lap, naked with just my shirt on, your knees holding your notebook as you search for the perfect page for me, you make sure that your guitar is tuned before you start and your thumb softly strums down the notes, making a lovely rhythm, and only two chords, C and Em, your voice sounds like a million angels, and I feel like a lost man after serving the purgatory, your voice is so hauntingly beautiful, your lyrics are very forward, and I'm happy to know through your lyrics how truly you feel about things, you don't search for big words you choose the right ones, you're bold, and you're wise, you try to put an end to your complicated feelings, your questions, everything, all in one song with a few strums and two simple chords.

"That's all," You say putting your guitar next to you, I'm blown away, "I know I suck"

"No!" I answer immediately, "You don't... I think it's beautiful"

"You're just saying that because..." No, I'm not just saying that because I want to fuck you, no not at all, don't you ever believe that.

"I'm saying that because I think you've got it, and you don't want to quit everything to live your dream, I know it must be difficult... but I'm being truthful, you've got summat and we can work on it" Why do you keep saying no with your head? Stop that, if I could rip it off right now... no, don't think that, "Come on, I'm not takin' a piss" You break into laughter with me, throwing your head back, you jump up the moment your oven dings and you run to flip the nuggets and the fries, putting 10 more minutes into the oven.

"Takin' a piss" You laugh to yourself, "Well, if you're not takin' a piss" You imitate my accent and it sounds so silly when you try to do it, "I'm not accepting your help Alex, you have your own thing, and if I'm going to do this, I have to do it on my own," Perfect, I'll take that.

"Why don't you go to Panda's next Saturday? They're looking for some people to play some music, any style, any theme, you can do whatever you want... I'm sure everyone will love you, and you know, there's always someone on the hunt for summat fresh!" I see you thinking about it, I'm not saying I'll help you, I'm just offering the start of something great for you, this is it for you. And yes, I am going to get you the best deal you could ever imagine, but first I have to run things through your notebook, I secretly hide your baby pink notebook, your initials written with a black sharpie, and I stash it in between the cushions.

"I'll think about it" I'll think about it. I hope you do go, I can't wait to see you singing for everyone, you will charm them, "Dinner is served me lord" You're also a dork, just like me, imagine all of the jokes we can make together, they'll be endless.

"My! Thank you, very kind" Dinousor nuggets with a side of fries, the melancholic feeling of your childhood must be present every single day, you squeeze some Ketchup into my plate, squirting into my chest.

"Whoops! Let me clean that for you" You lean in, sticking out your tongue to lick off the ketchup from my chest, "Eat up!" I'm in love with you, "And then we'll get on with that" You look down, and I do the same, shite, look what you do to me, you make me get so hard like a little boy hitting puberty.

"Bugger" I whisper under my breath, you heard it since you giggled, "You know, I think the food can wait right?" You push your plate away and you immediately crawl on top of me, kissing my lips so tenderly, caressing my chin with your fingers, and enjoying the texture of the little hairs that are growing on me cheeks.

"Mmm ketchup" You laugh into the kiss, and our teeth collide accidentally, and us by casualty, "You taste yummy"

"Imagine yourself" You blush hard, something tells me no one has ever made you feel that good about yourself, and that's because no one will see you with the same eyes as me, you're my girl, you will be, I try to flip you but instead you stop me, have I done something wrong?

"We're not going to break this couch, I love this fucking couch, you understand that?" You firmly said, your eyes threatening to kill me if I do as such, "I'm on top" I squeeze your ass tightly biting my bottom lip.

"Whatever she wants... but if I broke the bed it's 90% your fault," You scoffed and laughed as I peeled my shirt from your body gently, making sure I don't break more buttons so you could keep it, "Because you feel so good, and maybe you could be on top, but I know sooner or later... you'll be the one giving into me" Quite intense, wasn't I? Fuck!

"But for now, it's me who calls the shots, so if we break this... it will be 98% your fault, how do you like me now, smarty?" You secure your arms around my shoulder, I pull you in, chest on chest, as I give myself a few more strokes before you slowly slide down my cock, moaning so gently, I like feeling every part of you, I can see how your body twists and shivers when I hit that sweet spot.

"How do you like that?" I rub it in your face, how good I'm making you feel, "I guess one round just wasn't quite enough for you," You start humping on my cock slowly, you're just teasing me again, but I enjoy feeling your body move against mine, your little cries and moans, everything piles up in me, I know this time I'll enjoy you, picture you going in slow motion, I can feel your rapid heartbeat, I can feel the heat wave that raises and wrap us in, I can feel your body begging to mine to stay as close as possible, because that's what your body and my body want, we smile, we laugh, and I fall deeper in a hole full of love for you, and I'm no donkey to use the dirt to get out, I rather stay buried deep inside you just like now. Your body is tired, it's been two hours since your legs worked for the last time, and you beg for more into my ear.

"You're so good, I-I don't understand" What don't you understand, babe? Your fingers intertwine in the back of my head, as you writhe your hips to mine, our bodies dancing together so wonderfully, your hips move in circles against mine.

"Neither of those assholes could ever come close to me, I'm a real man..."

"And you've got the size" You flirt with me so shamelessly, your walls keep dragging me in, your head falls into my shoulder, you're giving into me, fading into me, and it's me time now, I finally get to give you what I wanted since the beginning, make sweet and honest love to you, my hands on your thighs I keep driving your body against mine, I gently bounce you on me lap just to get you to stay up again, you're eyes are shutting, your mouth is falling open again.

"Look at me" I order, and you do what I tell you to do, you look at me towards your end, I hope you can read it in my eyes, I hope you can feel how warm the flesh is, how my eyes, my brain, and heart have no space for anyone else but you, how mad you've made me, I'm obsessed, and I'm not going to lie to myself about it anymore, I don't want to just use you, I hope you can see that, but if you can't, I hope this is enough for you to understand it, my eyes big and dilated for you, my body feels so stiff, it's overwhelming, "You're so beautiful, love"

"If you keep calling me that, you're gonna make me fall in love, Alex"

So I'll say it every single day for the rest of my life, you feel so good on me, your body fits into mine so perfectly, and I'm so close, and so are you, the flesh is tender, the flowers bloom, the sun rises and it's heat rains all over the world, and you and I bond together for one last time before your body crashes into mine, I make a mess, but that's a bit on purpose, "Ah, yes" You sigh into my ear as you let it rest on top of mine. I have the chance to clean your body once more, to clean you up with care and love, my touch is so gentle your body fills with goosebumps, "You really don't have to Alex" You put your hand on my hand, and I freeze, should I stop? Am I making you uncomfortable?

"Sorry... if I'm doing too much" Your eyebrows push together and before I can get away you drag me back by my wrist and smile at me. What do you think of me?

"No, I'm just..." You sigh, you're troubled by your thoughts, "Not used to the 'aftercare' part that's all, you know, sex for us girls... it's not like we see it in films, or read in books, maybe I don't have that magic to turn a beast into a prince, and... I just I dunno, I don't feel weird... you make me feel special, normally, they just leave" Are you... maybe falling for me?

I smile at you, my thumb grazes your cheek softly, "I'm a man, and I'm messy but I just don't like doing that there's an attraction, and if we have sex, unless you ask me to leave I'll leave" I put away the paper towels in the trash, and when I come back I find you waiting for me with my shirt on your body.

"Well, if that's the case" My heart pumps one thousand miles per hour, I feel I'm entering a trance, about to puke my intestines out if you ask me to leave, "You don't mind staying?"

Fuck yeah! "Not at all" I try to keep me cool but I just can't, my heart betraying as I lay down with you.

After we finally had the chance to close our eyes, the sun peeks through the curtains of your windows, the sky painted orange and ocean blue, you smile at me, and you get back up from our little love nest that was the settee, you're quick to find the vinyl with the song we were listening together, the song we kissed to, the perfect song to watch the sunrise.

"Come with me!" I've never heard you so excited before, you run to the kitchen and fetch my boxers from the ground, and I'm a bit troubled by the thought of me wearing my jeans with no underwear but I do nevertheless because I would kill to see you like that every single day.

I cover my body with my coat, and you grab my hand, we run out of your house, and we go through this tiny little white gate, into a garden covered in green chasmophyte, that's the place where the flowers bloom in little boxes of dirt, the perfect place to see the sun, the perfect place to hide, to dream in, it's wonderful, you pull out a chair for me in this old rusty table, you find place to put your music and we listen to Call It Fate Call It Karma as the sun rises from the horizon, I pull you to my lap, wrapping your legs around my arms and hum the song to your ear, the birds are chirping, and the sun warms us from the once oh so cold night.

"You're a lovely singer," You say to my ear, I was never one to watch sunrises, I haven't done that since I was 17, and now with my busy life, I finally get to taste this little piece of paradise that you've given me.

"Not as good as you, bunny" You kiss my nose with a big smile, and I take out from my jeans a box of cigarettes and my old zippo, you set on my smoke, and you love to play with my zippo as your hands run through my naked skin, you love playing with fire, don't you? I just hope someday, you don't get burned in the fire of my love.

A/N

Anon, I want to kiss you. You don't know for how long I've been trying to figure out how to write this chapter, I had to watch You again but it was totally worth it, so thank you!

#alex turner x reader #alex turner x you #alex turner smut #arctic monkeys #arctic monkeys one shots #alex turner fan fic #* is for smut <3 #alex turner #alex turner imagine #alex turner fanfic #alex turner angst #alex turner fic recommendations #alex turner fic recs #arctic monkeys fic recs #something about you #alex turner x y/n #anonymous requests #i love alex turner #i love him #matt helders #alex turner one shots #jamie cook #nick omalley #anonymus request #the car tour #the car era

[ridreamir]

If you're still taking requests, could I ask for some general HCs for Kieran and maybe Drayton that take place at bb academy? If not feel free to ignore this :)

A/N: Hey! Yeah of course! I'm struggling to write the Kieran fic because I think I'm way in over my head (I'm freezin' up lol the pressure to figure it out is getting to me) so I guess I can take a break and write some headcanons instead!

I'll write for 'em both, but it's post-DLC, I hope you don't mind! Potential spoilers ahead!

These ones are a little silly in retrospect! I did em fast too, so I hope they're not too bad :p

Kieran's secretly your top fan. Not that you notice because there's no way he'd let you catch him, but he's literally dropped what he was doing to run to the entrance of the academy because your name was announced over the intercom. If you're having a match he'll actually full speed sprint to through the school just to be there, but any time you look over he instinctively hides, flush with embarrassment. You don't come and visit him in his dorm room often since you're on such different schedules, but he's had to flip over his pinboard and hide his piles of notes because they're all about you and trying to understand your strategies and, well, other things... His sister won't stop bugging him about it 'bein' weird', but she knows he's flat obsessed with trying to figure you out! The league club has a social media that posts all of your recent matches, and he's had to beg Carmine to show him how to use the phone app because he's new to having a smart phone and Arceus does he have to watch every single one. He didn't even want a phone until now, but he can't believe he's been missing out all this time. No wonder everyone has one of these things! She was reluctant, but it's Kiki after all... It should be fine, right? Well... that was before all the pinboards and sticky note nonsense that looks straight out of a detective movie or something. He's the type to not like posts because he's scared of what you might think, but accidentally hit the heart button on a match from like a month ago. He definitely drops his phone on his face and panics, trying to undo it as fast as he can. Little does he realize that it's actually Lacey who's in charge of the social media account and not you, and also that she can see who's the most active on the page.

She thinks it's cute, and since she loves cute things, she's letting it be for now. She's always giggling and hiding her smile when he pops into the clubroom to check and see if you're there. Most of the time though he ends up running off before he can say hi because he doesn't want to talk to Drayton.

Since he's gotten the phone he hasn't stopped checking it and he smiles like an idiot any time he thinks he's alone. (News flash, he's really bad at hiding what he's doing. Like he could be in the middle of the cafeteria where everyone sees him watching your battles back to back like they're a tv series.) The only reason nobody really thinks much of it is because you're practically a celebrity and not even just in the Academy but, like, big time. And Kieran is probably one of the only people to not know because he's been so chronically offline. You act so low-key, talking to someone like him like he's just, just another person that it's shocking news to find out that the whole world has probably heard your name by now! As in, his (best?) friend!! (Friend??) It gets kind of annoying now how people follow you around asking to take photos with you like you're some kind of, of tourist attraction and not a person! But there's only one thing that's worse, and it's-

"Hey bud, ready to battle?" Drayton! Kieran's... Kieran's... worst nightmare!! Drayton's gotten really buddy-buddy with you over the time that Kieran and Carmine were on break, and he's not happy about it. Unfortunately for him, Drayton's all too aware of Kieran's contempt and loves to push his buttons. As if calling him "Ex-Champ" all the time wasn't enough, you've been helping him with his homework and sparring together every day! What he wouldn't do for you to spend that much time with him...

And it grinds his gears how often Drayton nudges you or ruffles your hair like you're some sort of pet, though you never see the way their pupils shrink at the sight of each other. Kieran here, hiding behind whatever he can to stay out of sight and Drayton who knows that he's there and makes direct eye contact with him. It's infuriating the way his smile quirks just a little when he catches Kieran spying.

As if he's saying look all you want, look at what you can't have.

And Kieran takes that as a challenge.

#x reader #pokemon #pokemon x reader #drayton x reader #kieran x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #imagines #headcanons #pokemon universe #scarlet and violet #pokemon scarlet and violet #possessive behavior #blueberry academy #school crush #slight yandere

[mistressoftheelderitchwhorehouse]

Affection = 1

A/N: Someone pointed out how Chuuya has had little to none positive affection that wasn't transactional, or didn't result in violence. So here's a drabble series about it.

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing: Chuuya x Reader

___________________________

Chuuya didn't date.

He would fuck when he had the time, might even have the occasional friend with benefits if it was a slow month. All the sex he had was spit, and blood, and hastily discarded condoms. The girls typically didn't look at him twice after, and if they did it was to ask about his bank account.

Dazai had told him once that he wasn't made for relationships, that he would push away the first person that tried to allow him the space to be vulnerable.

Dazai ended up with a broken nose that day.

And yet Dazai's syrupy words clogged his ears and poisoned his heart as he watched you idly play with his ungloved fingers.

It wasn't deliberate like after sex. When your fingers squeezed his to keep your mind from floating away while you came down from your high. Nor was it the more annoying poking you did when you wanted him to get up to get the remote.

No, here it was soft, and almost lackadaisical. Starting between his thumb and pointer, you made looping patterns up along his knuckles, down the length of his middle finger, and back up to his knuckles.

You couldn't have needed anything. The movie playing was your choice, he had whipped you both up a quick meal, and he'd let you pick the wine this time despite knowing it would be something overly sweet.

He continued racking his brains for whatever needed fixing. You had things, you weren't initiating sex... Wait, did you need comfort?

His gaze shifted from your hands to your body. The movie wasn't emotionally taxing. Just a romance that had a happy ending, according to you. You also didn't appear injured. The dark skin peeking out from your night dress didn't display any marks he hadn't been previously aware of-

"Red, you good?"

He blinked and looked up at your face. Despite trying to focus, he could still feel your hand on his own, your movements halted.

"Yeah. 'm fine."

You raised an eyebrow. "We can switch the movie. I know you like ones with a bit more atmosphere."

You removed your hand from his, and he let out a soft breath, hand finally relaxing.

"Are we doing animated or live action?"

"Look. Sweetheart." You paused, hand on the remote. "Can we… Is it okay if we do a serious talk?"

And then Chuuya realized why he was willing to try the whole relationship thing. You set the remote aside after muting the TV, and turned to face him completely. "What’s up, Chuuya?"

He killed people for a living.

Watched them get their fingers broken after pulling off the nails. Setting buildings on fire with people still inside. Ripping people out of their beds while their families watched…

And yet facing you to ask such a basic question…

He scratched the back of his head, gaze pointedly fixed on his hands.

"I didn't get why you're messing with my hand."

"Hm?"

He clicked his tongue, but did his best to keep the anger out of his voice. "You were messing with my fingers, and…"

"You can just tell me to stop, Chuuya. I won't get upset."

"That's not it. I just don't get why." Frustration creeped into his tone, and yet you didn't even flinch. "I know my body runs warm, and I know I got rough hands. Can't see the reason for it if you don't want something."

You stared at him for a long moment, before you tilted your head to the side. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Does it feel bad or annoying?"

"No."

Well, honesty time..."

He raised an eyebrow when you began twisting your own fingers. "I gotta do a lot of things at once. Blame the ADHD. And, you know, I like you so… I wanted to just show that."

He could pratically hear Dazai laughing at the confusion running through his head. He'd need to break that idiot's nose again...

You crawled closer to Chuuya, and grasped one of his hands in both of yours.

"It's like when you tuck me in. You don't have to. It's pratically auto pilot, right?" When he nodded you smiled. "but it shows you love me. This is how I wanna show you that I love you. I guess showing that I desire you for you. Ya know?"

He looked away sharply, his mouth twitching with a smile. He knew even with his shock of hair, you could see how red his face and neck were getting.

"I think I get it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He heard the couch shift, before he felt warm lips against his cheek. "Thank you for asking me about this. I'm very proud of you for handling this conversation so well."

"Yeah, yeah. We're adults. Gotta talk about shit when it happens."

"Exactly!"

He placed his hand on your lap, and you laced your fingers with his.

Fuck. What did he do to deserve you?

#chuuya x you #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bungo stray dogs headcanons #bungou stray dogs #character analysis #bsd #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya nakahara #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #osamu dazai #chuuya scenarios #chuya nakahara #chuya bungo stray dogs #chuya x reader

[possibilistfanfiction]

hey!! saw you reblogging some of your butch bea stuff & just wanted to tell you that it lowkey changed my life and that if you ever want to revisit that universe you’d have at least one very avid & enthusiastic reader. there’s no pressure though — im grateful it exists at all!!

[i am going to be completely honest, i have no idea what this little prompt fill is but i love butch bea sm, it's soft & basically plotless. feeling so normal about her this pride month lol. also some lilith pov for the culture.]

//

not that you like people, but if you had to pick a favorite, under deep duress, beatrice would be at the top of your list. not that you would ever, ever tell her that, but, unfortunately, you're also pretty certain she knows. and, to your utter horror, you find that you have a reluctant soft spot for ava — you try to contribute it to beatrice being your sister, and therefore ava is basically your sibling-in-law, because they're not married yet but you watched beatrice say goodbye and you watched her grieve and you watched her fall in love, disgustingly, every second of every day, when ava returned. and, sure, ava is steadfast and faithful and far too brave and saved the world, twice, but, like. his relentless optimism and terrible sense of humor is too much sometimes.

but, you remind yourself when you get his text — he's your family too. someone who should have never forgiven you, you remember, like acid leaking in your stomach, but ava has always been too generous. and so you answer with an eye-roll emoji but also I'll be there in ten.

it's not the first day that ava has asked for help, and you're sure it won't be the last, but these days don't happen all that often anymore. you understand, though: your wings ache and sit heavy some nights when you can't sleep, and even if you fly over mountain ranges or tropical fjords or the flat, gorgeous planes of the savannah, deserts and oceans, the world — this admittedly beautiful earth, better than all the heavens — isn't quite enough to hold your sorrow. or, maybe it holds it along with you, and you can't quite put it down.

so you diligently mask your scales with jillian's annoying but very useful tech, and you put on an outfit that nun-you would have deemed inappropriate and nun-beatrice would have blushed furiously at, and teleport from your favorite room, tucked away in the middle of nowhere on a tiny island off the coast of iceland to beatrice and ava's sunny, big house on the beach. it's cool today, though, the day covered in a marine layer that's lingered for months. beatrice looks surprised when you show up in their kitchen, where she's staring off into space while, apparently, very slowly unloading the dishwasher. ava says hello from the living room, where you assume they're on the couch with korra by their side.

'hello, lilith.'

you pop a fresh grape into your mouth from the bowl sitting there in lieu of greeting.

'those are for ava,' beatrice says, and her hands shake and you can tell from the set of her shoulders that ava was right, that the world stings in your palms and up your spine, and sometimes you just need someone to see you through it until it calms.

'he can share,' you say, eat another one and swipe the bowl with beatrice scowling after you as you walk into the living room. ava is, unexpectedly, watching some reality tv drivel — so what if you're caught up on all ten seasons of vanderpump rules, it reminds you of hell if anyone asks — but she smiles sincerely when you hand her the bowl, one you're pretty certain beatrice had sculpted and glazed with her own hands.

'i can share a few,' ava says, and you don't bother to stop yourself from scratching korra's head in greeting when ava nods. you can admit that korra is awesome; she has loyalty to ava but at least you can understand that one. she's wearing a hoodie you know is beatrice's favorite, so it's ava's favorite too, and a beanie; ava hadn't mentioned it, but you know on really bad days her body has trouble regulating its internal temperature too — and if the pile of blankets at the foot of the couch is anything to go by, you're guessing that's happening too.

'you've looked better.'

ava rolls her eyes and beatrice flicks you on the back of the head. 'so have you,' ava says, but you look hot and so you know by that lackluster insult she really is in a good deal of pain.

'ava's back is bad today,' beatrice says, as if that wasn't completely obvious from the way ava has a heating pad and special pillow and is propped up on the couch with korra attentively lying next to her, ready to get anything or alert if she needs to.

'lots of hand spasms,' ava says, 'which are the worst, who knew?'

the only reason you refrain from making a dirty joke is because you'd never want them to think you have ever, for one moment, thought about their sex life. 'well, i'm taking beatrice for a bit,' you say, which is just what ava asked for, 'so maybe some heavier duty pain meds and a nap? we can bring you a late lunch.'

you feel beatrice stiffen behind you. 'i need to be here today,' she says, clipped and anxious. 'what if ava —'

'what if i what, bea?' ava says, without any malice, but with a glint in her eye that even you know to be careful of. 'i just need to sleep today and watch some stupid tv. we can go through all my rehab exercises in the evening again, like we always do.'

beatrice's jaw is clenched, and she bites her bottom lip.

'bea,' ava says, and reaches for her hand, and, not for the first time at all, do you feel a little out of place. lonely, and sad, and aching: they are in love, however much it annoys you. there's a care there that you're fairly certain you will never have, and never be able to give.

'a few hours, beatrice,' you say. 'that's all.'

ava had texted that beatrice had been losing track of time and tasks all morning, which is a sign you'd all started to understand as a bad ptsd day, not infrequently leading to a panic attack or a flashback if she's left to her own devices. usually, they won't have bad days at the same time, some divine knowledge of something, but today the stars hadn't lined up.

but beatrice sighs and then nods: she knows herself, knows when her brain is misfiring or misaligned, when things aren't quite as real as they should be. ava's hands are in painful, involuntary fists and so it's up to you today, to hold beatrice's through it.

'great, now that that's settled,' you say, when she offers nothing else. you take her wrist and, just for fun, teleport her right into the middle of the ocean, until she's spluttering and yelling but then, blessedly, lets out a laugh. you teleport her right back to her shower and even ava is grinning from inside. 'get ready,' you tell her, throw a towel at her from the neat stack in their patio bin. 'see you in fifteen.'

'don't have too much fun catching up on vanderpump rules without me,' she says, color back in her cheeks and a clarity seeping into her eyes.

'i hate that show.'

'sure,' she says, dismissing you with a wave of her hand, and, fine, you do join ava on the couch, but it's only because he's high and divulges, eagerly, beatrice's latest cooking mishap. beatrice comes in from their bedroom a few minutes later, looking a little steadier still, in soft, tailored pants and an oversized t-shirt, tucked in precisely. she's put contacts in and has sunglasses slipped into the collar of her shirt, a thick, fancy watch on her wrist. ava, even in a lot of pain, looks like they might start drooling. 'great.' you fling a pair of pristine birkenstocks at beatrice, who catches them with a scowl, 'you look fine to be in public. let's go.'

'bye, baby,' ava says, frustratingly unfazed by you. beatrice smiles, gently, her eyes clear for the moment when all she has to focus on is ava, and kisses her forehead, gently cups her jaw in her hand. 'love you, have fun.'

'i love you too,' beatrice says.

'no fun,' you say, and ava's still laughing as you touch beatrice's elbow and teleport on your way.

/

'this is my sister, lilith,' beatrice introduces, and, like, whatever, your heart swells in your chest and you feel warm and kind. you sink into it — only for a moment.

'nice to meet you,' beatrice's barber says, offering her hand with a genuine, easy smile, not batting an eye that you and beatrice look absolutely nothing alike; you feel warm and kind again when you think about beatrice talking about you as her sister to people you've never met, that you matter to her enough to mention. 'i'm xavi.'

'xavi, cool.'

beatrice sits down in the chair, comfortable and present, even though her hands still shake, but it's clear that this is a space she's always been made to feel safe. somewhere she's always been made to feel seen, which you realized, over the past few years, she had never had, despite how much you had — and still do — still love her.

'same thing, bea?' xavi asks.

bea nods. 'you can take the skin fade up a little higher, i think. it just grows so fast.'

xavi nods. 'sounds good.'

and it's not like you don't spend a fair amount of your time with beatrice and ava, because they live somewhere beautiful and it brings you deep joy to annoy them, and, like, drag brunches and queer bars are admittedly very fun, but to see your sister just be is kind of moving. and maybe she realizes that too, that it's special you're here, that it's special you're allowed to be here, in this space that is very much hers, the quiet hum of the clippers in the background, while she chats with her barber about the latest ridiculous episodes of love island — which, yes, you have watched; yes, you do participate in the conversation after beatrice includes you immediately, because you're only so strong and it's always been a summer tradition of yours to watch nightly — and they laugh together. you laugh too, and then all of a sudden beatrice is crying, and xavi turns the clippers off carefully. beatrice snakes a hand out from under her cape and tries to wipe her eyes.

'i apologize,' she says, really trying to get it under control. 'i — sorry.'

'she's having a weird day,' you offer, and beatrice nods with a sniffle. you don't bother to explain further — that's beatrice's to tell, if she ever wants to — but it seems to calm beatrice a little bit.

'sorry,' she says again. 'i — i'm just happy to be here,' she says, adds a quiet, 'as i am,' and xavi just squeezes her shoulder.

'i'm happy about that too.'

beatrice lets out a big breath and steadies herself; you feel relieved too that you won't have to deal with a panic attack in the middle of a barber shop while beatrice's hair isn't nearly faded properly. 'i never cry.'

you roll your eyes. 'if by "never" you mean five to ten times a week...'

beatrice shoots you a glare through the mirror and you just grin, all teeth.

xavi laughs a little and turns the clippers back on. 'it's okay,' she says. 'you're secret's safe with me.'

/

admittedly, beatrice's hair does look great, a clean fade and a little messy pomade on top, but you've already complimented her on this haircut twice so you're certainly not doing that again. you walk with her along the street her barbershop is on, that she knows well and it hits you quietly that you know it well too. you don't have a home — you haven't had a home in a while — but this might come close.

years ago, before the war, before all of it, on a bad day the two of you would go at it for hours sparring, blood on your knuckles and along your teeth and once mother superion had been irate when you got such a good shot in beatrice's eye was swollen shut for days — but there is no war anymore. there are small battles, but beatrice hasn't fought since she got hurt; even though she's better now, with a sturdy rod down her femur and scars that don't seem to bother her much down her abdomen, you think, unofficially, that she's not ever going to fight again.

you don't have the same fate, you know, but for today you look beautiful in an easy bright blue shift dress and sunglasses, your hair dark and long, and beatrice's hands have stopped shaking.

'sushi?' you ask, a reach, maybe, but when she smiles you know you were right.

it makes you realize, too, when you sit down at a restaurant you've come to so many times with her — and ava, too — that you know the server, who greets you both by name and brings you shishito peppers and spicy edamame without you even having to order. beatrice relaxes in her chair after a second on the patio, lets out another deep breath.

'all right?'

she takes her sunglasses off and nods. 'thank you.'

you shake your head. 'you're my sister.'

you mean it: i have not forgotten who you are; i have not forgotten who i am. you mean it: i love you. even if the words get stuck in your chest, even if you can't quite say them — you mean it.

'plus,' you say, 'you're paying, and i'm ordering the best sake on the menu.'

she laughs, bright and easy, and shrugs. 'you know the catholic church and my horrible parents are footing the bill anyway. we should order whatever we want.'

you remember when you were nineteen and beatrice was brand new to the ocs, how much you felt frustrated by her, deeply: she was earnest, and so serious, and very hurt, but kind in a way you never could be. the pressure sat heavy on both of your shoulders, but she held it with grace. 'could you have imagined this life when we first met?'

she seems as surprised by your question as you are that you even asked it, but her smile is easy and she runs a hand along her buzzed hair with a laugh. 'i think i would have had a heart attack if anyone had told me even a sliver of what my life is now.'

you wait a beat but then you do laugh, because it's true. your server brings you your sake and some sashimi you'd ordered, along with some scallops that are your favorite. ava sends a text in the group chat the three of your have — which you refuse to really participate in, but fine — saying that she's doing fine, that she had to take a fever reducer but korra's been on top of anything she needed to get so ava hasn't had to try to get up, that the protein smoothie beatrice had made her had been fine and she's just going to try to sleep some more. it makes beatrice relax even more, palpably, and you understand, in some way.

'you've retired, haven't you?'

she calmly swallows her tuna and then puts down her chopsticks. 'fighting? yes.'

it's simple and it's big and it's quiet. you knew already.

'but i'll be around. you know i enjoy research, archival, collaborations with jillian. i'm not — this will always be part of my life.' it's unspoken too: you will always be part of my life. and you know she means it.

'good,' you say, and for the first time in longer than you can really remember it feels like you're able to offer a benediction.

her eyes are soft as the clouds burn off, finally, as the afternoon turns warm. 'i — i want to live a long life.'

you can't say anything, but you can nod. you want that too — for her, for all of you. 'plus,' you say, 'ava was even worse than normal when you got blown up.'

she rolls her eyes, as glad for the levity as you are. you drink more sake and order more sushi and laugh as you watch people walk by on the street and beatrice offers — delightfully and playfully kind of mean — commentary about some of them. she's been your person for a long time, you remember, her gentleness despite bullets and arrows and bombs, despite holy wars, despite knuckles — yours, or hers, or both — split open to the bone. beatrice holds her chopsticks easily, steadily, and the scars on the tops of her hands shine white in the sun, but they've faded. you can only see them if you know where to look.

#wn #wn fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #yknow i am always sososo normal abt found family but especially during pride #sisters! #prince & ollie here u go ur girl #butch bea 🥺🫡 #who knows. not me. thank u for this kind ask tho anon :)

[thestrangestthing89]

So I'm rewatching season 4 and I think there is another scene with Mike we haven't gotten all of yet (along with the scene of him and Hopper in the car in S3). The fight between Mike and El in Lenora seems like it was also cut off. El is upset and crying and Mike says "I care for you so much". It's the Dawsons Creek reference. Jack says this line to Joey when he's breaking up with her. That was his lead in to telling her he's gay. The next scene we see of them they are coming down the stairs (when the police come) and El is visibly calmer - at least until she gets arrested when she gets upset again. She stopped crying - she was still very much in the middle of a cry fest when we saw her a few minutes before. It seems like some time has passed. Not only that but when Mike first goes to talk to her, he's eating breakfast with Will and Jonathan is there reading the paper. The conversation we saw with Mike and El was about 2 min so Will and Jonathan would have still been eating in the kitchen. But we see them in the living room watching tv before they open the door for the police. They are very comfortable here and look like they've been sitting there for a while. It implies that more time has passed.

So I think their conversation went on longer than what we see. And Mike saying to Will that his fight with her seemed more adult would now make sense if that's the case. I wrote something a while back that Mike is using El as a code for Will because scenes like this don't make sense if they are about El. His fight with her that we saw was very immature and not more adult like he says. I still think that could apply to Will. But if there is more to that scene than it could be something else.

If they did end up having a discussion like on Dawsons Creek that would feel more adult. I stand by my earlier assessment that Mike was planning on breaking up with her in Lenora and I think he maybe did that here. But they were in the middle of talking about it when the police showed up. So he felt even guiltier because he didn't fully get to explain himself. He spends the rest of the season being worried that he doesn't fit into her life at all. And it's because they didn't get a chance to discuss this fully before she ran off to the lab. He thinks she hates him now. When they reunite they don't even kiss or attempt to. Usually it's El who initiates those moments in their reunions but she doesn't. When they get to the pizza place El seems like she could be breaking up with him, but if there is more to that conversation she could just be picking up their conversation where they left off. Which is why Mike starts nervously rambling. Their interaction after is very sibling like and neither of them seems to think this is weird. And during his monologue El just seems annoyed. She knows he's full of shit to begin with but if they are already broken up and she knows why it would further explain her facial expressions during this moment. And would also further explain why they are so exasperated with each other at the cabin. We know they talked a little bit in the two day jump but it was about the situation with Henry. They don't have much else to say to each other about their relationship at this point so there was no reason for them to discuss more than that.

El also seems kind of annoyed with Will too which sticks out to me. He hasn't spoken to her at this point and we know that because he asks Mike if he has. It's like she's avoiding both of them. It makes sense if she knows how Mike feels now but she hasn't spoken to Will about it yet.

There are signs after they reunite with El at the lab that she is noticing Mike and Will. Several other people got into this more so I won't here, but it makes sense if she started paying more attention to Mike and Will after Mike explained his feelings in Lenora. She knows there is something to notice now and she was already starting to pick up on it before (at the airport and with Will's weirdness) she just didn't have enough info to connect the dots.

Edit: Decided to add a part 2

#byler #anti mileven

[pettyrevenge-base]

Middle School tyrant finds out no one likes her.

At my Middle School we had a vice principal who fancied herself a dictator. Any tiny bit of power she got was an issue. But I was a middle schooler at the time and a good kid not often in trouble so I didn't cross her path until 8th grade. Her friend was a Bus driver named Pat.

For 6th and 7th grade years we had an awesome bus driver. He was nice to the kids, let us put the windows down when the Georgia heat got too much etc. But he retired and the bus driver we got was an extremely angry middle aged woman named "Pat" who did not like children and made that clear every day. "The windows stay up or we go back to the school!" she would yell as she had the only fan blowing in her face on a 100+ degree school bus. Ostensibly this was to keep us from throwing things out of the bus but that was never an issue before or after. The real reason was that before the bus driver could leave the bus at the end of the day all the windows had to be back up and locked. So this saved her effort.

My bus stop was the first she drove by but the last to pick up and had been that way for years. Pat changed this and decided she only wanted to stop on the first pass by and kept threatening to leave the kids in my neighborhood if we made her stop twice.

I first got on the Karen VP's radar because Pat left me on the side of a very busy road one morning. She could have stopped but wagged her finger at me as she drove away and left me. I flipped off the kids laughing at me out of the back window but the bus driver Pat thought I was flipping her off. I didn't get suspended because she left me with no way to get to school on the side of an extremely busy road and my mom threatened to sue if it happened again. But after that they had it out for me. Pat tried several times to get me on anything. She even coached a kid to say I bullied him but when the real Principal brought in the kid he said "no OP is my friend it was those other kids" and a bunch of other little shit. Anything to get me in trouble.

So the Petty revenge comes in here. I was doing my best to make the bus drivers life hell in little passive aggressive ways. She got annoyed at anything so it was easy. But Karen was harder to do anything to. After fighting with the bus driver and the Assistant Principal for most of the year, revenge came in the form of a Police fundraiser. They were advertising it on the local tv news and local radio stations. If you put someone up for "arrest" the cops would show up and throw someone in handcuffs and "Put them in jail" until they could call a few people and fundraise the "bail". The person who set up the arrest had to pay like $10 but worth it. My mom after being annoyed by Pat and Karen all year put Karen the Assistant Principle up for arrest. The cops showed up and took her to the room where she could call her friends and raise the money for her to go. The idea was that mom was going to keep having her arrested as long as she could.

Except no one would give her the "bail" money. Not even for a charity. So she ended up missing most of a day sitting in the police precinct trying to get anyone to put up enough money for her to leave. Eventually the cops told my mom that they had to let her go because it had gone on too long. She was the only one who didn't raise the bail money that day. Letting her know exactly how much she meant to everyone at the school felt great. I had a friend who heard her complaining about it later that day. She had called the Principal who did donate some but the other teachers gave nothing and none of her friends would help out. She apparently thought one of the teachers put her up for it. It's so minor and so petty it almost doesn't count. But when I left that school at the end of the year mom went up and asked her "how was jail?" before we walked away for the last time. First time I ever heard a "Reeeeeee" sound from a human.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

#pettyrevenge #lol #omg

[ioannemos]

Now you already know I need to hear about the SGA fic on your WIP list

And silence, like darkness, can be kind; it, too, is a language. Hanif Kureishi

i'm pretty sure this one was something of a response to the (understandable) cop-out ending of tao of rodney. obvs it's a tv show, they don't wanna change things permanently like that, but it's a common frustration for me. static characterization annoys me and it's especially egregious in sga imo, esp rodney's. ANYWAY

the basic idea is that rodney gets whammied by a trap set for the ancients and there is no back-to-normal. bc he has the artificial ancient gene, it doesn't kill him, but only just. he's now operating at speeds unknown to man or ancient, which means he can't type or even speak fast enough to keep up with his thoughts and his body is constantly on the verge of straight-up shutting down

eventually he finds (or maybe makes? i haven't gotten that far) a room in atlantis that like... displays his thoughts, i guess? like they get projected into the air so other people can see them. but it also means that he can basically speak for atlantis, showing other people where there are problems or even just minor issues, explain rooms they didn't know the reason for, search the database in seconds for what they need and not just what they're asking for... the image i have of this story is john coming to visit rodney in that room. description below the cut bc it uhhhhh it got really long

john comes in with two trays of food. the room is about two stories high with no windows, only one door, and relatively dim lighting. there's a mattress and a pillow shoved against a wall, a blanket half-on and half-off it. there are also a few chairs around a small folding table. rodney is standing in the middle of the room in scrubs, barefoot and a little scruffy, attached to an iv and a few other kinds of monitoring equipment and looking at nothing in particular, lips moving silently. hovering in the air like holograms are things like a diagram of a wraith ship, a full 3d model of atlantis, and several 'windows' of scrolling text (both words and math). there are a few other people in the room in little clusters, like zelenka and another scientist taking notes near one of the math windows and muttering to each other, a soldier quietly talking to someone while looking at a blinking light on the 3d model, and two members of the medical staff sitting at the table just watching the monitoring equipment

everyone looks over when the door opens except for zelenka. the soldier nods respectfully and leaves the room; the other scientist nudges zelenka, who looks up with the expression of someone who is definitely seeing the room around them in Math-O-Vision and has to blink a few times to adjust to reality. they also leave, tho john stops zelenka on the way out to ask how it's going. zelenka is vague but positive, clearly still in Math World

john goes over to the medical staff and asks them how it's going. they talk about blood pressure and electrolytes and eye the food trays but don't comment on them. john nods and just keeps standing there, waiting for them to fold; one of them sighs and rolls her eyes and says "c'mon" and both of them leave, pointedly leaving one of their pads on the table

john sets down the trays, sits in one of the chairs, and starts to eat. a minute later rodney sits down across from him and also starts to eat, tho it's just automatic. he's staring into the middle distance over john's shoulder, occasionally tilting his head or narrowing his eyes, a finger flicking or shoulder twitching

john starts talking about the recent trip he went on with tayla and ronon, commenting on how the scientist they took along behaved and the likelihood of them coming next time. rodney doesn't noticeably respond to anything he says and eventually john stops trying to fill the silence, tho he clearly finds it oppressive

rodney clears his tray and stands up and leaves the table, almost robotic, returning to the exact spot where he was standing before. john picks at what's left on his own tray, then gives up and stacks them and stands with a sigh, about to leave

a new hologram pops up, a 'window' showing a room with a guitar and a grand piano. rodney walks into frame and sits at the piano, hands hovering over the keys while he looks expectantly at the guitar leaning against a chair. he stays there for a long time, motionless, then puts his hands in his lap. then rodney looks to the 'camera', right at john, then to the guitar, then back at john, asking a question without opening his mouth

john tries to smile. "sure, buddy. next time i'll bring the guitar"

in the window, rodney's whole face lights up, and then the window vanishes like it never existed, its space taken over with an exploded-view 3d model of a life-signs detector with one tiny element highlighted and words scrolling past too fast for john to read

just another average lunchtime with the oracle

#thank you #dangerously human #let's talk #ask #asked and answered #writing is hard #my muse is a monster #warning: the scene under the readmore is LONG #(which is what happens when summarizing the scene you've always wanted to write but haven't gotten to yet i suppose) #anyway #ugh #personal #abbie needs a twitter

[columboscreens]

On the topic of Columbo, do you think his whole demeanor really was an act, or was he just Like That? Or somewhere more in the middle? Was he off in his own little world thinking bout crimes, was he just a lovely puppy dog with the authority to arrest you? Or a master manipulator?

por qué no los dos?

as i've said before, everyone has their own interpretation of the character and that adds to the enduring enjoyment of the show. patrick mcgoohan was at one end of the spectrum--he liked to think that columbo's warmth and kindness were completely an act, that under the surface he's naught but cold and calculating.

now me personally, i see no reason why a man can't be warm and calculating.

i've written about it elsewhere, but i think you can sort of develop a feel for "the truth" when you watch more of the show. note well that i've watched a sickening amount of this show.

columbo is shown in all sorts of situations throughout--with the murderer, alone, speaking to colleagues, tertiary characters, random strangers, his wife, even his dog. he's also shown in all sorts of moods--hungry, tired, sick, confused, lost, frustrated, etc.

and although he modulates his tone depending on how he's feeling and who he's talking to (e.g. he's sometimes annoyed/brusque with his colleagues, his "act" is always completely dropped when on the phone with his wife), and not everything he says adds up (keep in mind 70s tv movies were never intended to be scrutinized to this degree), it turns out on average his true demeanor is...nice. shocker.

columbo is first and foremost a man of impeccable logic. therefore it follows that the reasoning behind his facade is just as logical:

if it means arresting a guilty party, columbo will play up whatever needs to be played up, say whatever needs to be said, do whatever it takes in order to get someone to let their guard down or give him what he wants, and will not stop until his objective is completed. his means to the end vary based on who it is he's manipulating and what he needs. and that's really all there is to it.

besides the obvious advantages of being underestimated and lulling suspects into a false sense of security, people in general are more forthcoming with information when you're plain nice. they're more willing to put up with you being annoying and overly inquisitive when you're nice. you build a rapport faster when you're nice. to columbo, being nice comes naturally. ergo, to make your job easier, just be Really Nice! you can bare your fangs later.

so he doesn't "fake" any of this, he merely leans into it. part of his real personality is that he IS kind, chivalrous, respectful, and so on. his extreme manipulation is seen almost exclusively within the realm of playing the "arrest the murderer" game.

outside of that, he is a normal, observable measure of nice and polite to everyone around him, even those who offer him nothing--homeless people, service staff/clerks, random children, random strangers, his dog, etc.

tl;dr like all of columbo's other personality traits, he isn't "faking" them when he manipulates--they're there, and he knows it. he's simply leveraging them to get what he needs. and what he needs is that killer's ass in jail, stat.

#sweet little man is also highly manipulative lil bitch more at 11 #but he is nice fr fr #sorry anon i dropped another fat fuck essay #columbo #longpost #ask #text

[poisonedapples]

🖊 free space! Go crazy :3

Okay SO

I have this script idea that’s been haunting (ha) my brain for the last year right. It’s a TV show concept called “Tortured Souls” about Teddy, an guy who committed suicide and ended up as a Grim Reaper stuck between afterlives in a place I (admittedly lamely) call the “Middle World”. And as much as I ADORE that wet cat of a bastard, the side character Miles lives rent free in the back of my brain. Constantly

Miles is a piece of shit and I love him. He’s annoying, he acts like he’s the best constantly, he loves to fuck with people, he never takes anything seriously and he has So Many Problems. Of course he goes through ~character development~ and stops being AS shitty (just the normal amount ya know) but that could be a whole post where I just RAMBLE about what happens to Miles and Miles only in this. But he starts off in the story as an Ass but he’s funny about it so I forgive him

But also he’s secretly got a heart of gold. He’s a big fan of kids, he had one of his own when he was alive (all these main characters are dead by the way) and he takes care of this other ghost child named Agnes. And Agnes may LOOK sweet but she can be an absolute DEMON. But Miles is always so soft with her and loves her to bits. He’s also basically a little brother to Roxanne which I think is funny because SHES the youngest sibling in her actual family and Miles is an only child, but Miles is enough of an annoying bastard that they act like constantly teasing siblings. But also there are a few scenes where Miles protects Roxanne and vice versa, because even if he SAYS he only cares about himself Miles doesn’t do a good job of actually making people think that

He plays guitar. He gets unbelievably obsessed with a dramatic cooking show during one of his arcs. He loves so strongly but is so afraid of being left behind that he tries to act like he’s awesome. His guilt of not raising his daughter eats him up inside. He spends his days kicking ass for fun. He keeps trying to fix himself. He always fails. All his relationships in life that crumbled are mostly his fault. He loves sex jokes. He’s the second-worst swearer in his office. He remembers everything a person has ever told him about themself. He’s the most fucked up guy while still being lovable and just. DAMN

I have so many feelings about this bastard

#asks

[nickeverdeen]

hi omg, could i get a romantic match-up for star wars??

i’m queer with no preference for male or female, and non binary, using they/them pronouns. hhh i’m an entp and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw.

personality wise i’m quite sarcastic and can get snappy at times. i do not have the best temper whatsoever and am easily annoyed by even the smallest things. i’m a bit emotionally closed off which makes it hard for me to meet new people without shaking or having a full blown meltdown— i’m quite affectionate to those i’m close with and absolutely love physical touch (to an extent). once i’m close with someone i really latch onto ‘em, i do everything i can to make sure they’re not hurt whether it’s emotionally or physically.

appearance wise i’m standing at 5’8”. i’m very pale, in the winter i have very little colour so i sometimes look like a ghost- i have green eyes and black hair. my hair reaches just passed my shoulders and i have a grown out mullet sort of hairstyle which is on its way to being a long bob. i have freckles along my cheekbones and the bridge of my nose. i’m not super small but not super big either, just in the middle. i do have curves but they’re not super obvious. i have a mesomorph and pear shaped body with a bit of a long torso.

i love love love going for late night walks, going out and watching the stars, picnics during the sunset, baking or cooking and listening to instrumental music. i absolutely adore horror, true crime, and dystopian films/tv shows, i can never get enough of ‘em!

style wise i usually wear loose-legged black cargo pants with either a cropped tank top or a black turtleneck. i have these platform boots that i wear non-stop (which probably isn’t good for my ankles🥲). i love long jackets, like from out of the matrix.

hhh i think that’s all—

@thedevilyk your Star Wars match-up is:

Padmé Amidala

Okay first of all: this bitch is gonna correct whoever she fucking wants about your pronouns

She likes the fact that you’re wise and not idiotic

When you get snappy at other people she just watches

But when you get snappy at her… oh boy, she’s gonna keep giving you such a comebacks until you’ll run out of arguments

Arguments are very rare with Padmé

Padmé helps you meet new people if you’d want

She has a patience so don’t worry, she won’t preassure you into telling her about your emotions and patiently will wait for you to open up if you’d want to

Cheek kisses

Padmé really appreciates your concern about her safety and she does the same to you

She loves your freckles

She likes to fall asleep on your chest whistl cuddling, she feels safe

Late night walks and picnics?

Oh hell yeah

She loves that

Picnic dates for sure!

She can’t cook, feel free to argue with a wall, but Padmé just can’t cook

She’s willing to learn how to cook or bake from you, though

Padmé also likes to listen to instrumental music

She once watched a horror movie with you and since then she knew that she’s never ever gonna watch them again

I’m sorry, but she’s just scared or it’s way too disturbing for her

Padmé is gonna scold you about your boots many many many many times, considering she knows that it’s not good for your ankles and that they might hurt

She’s gonna get you jackets somehow

Padmé loves hugs so be prepared

Hugs and cheek kisses

She isn’t really into petnames, but she’s gonna call you by your shorter version of your name

For example: Anakin = Ani

Padmé is very loyal and she would never in her life cheat on you so don’t worry

[good-realtor-bad-realtor-dynamic]

I finally caught up with Succession over the course of this week. In fact, I literally finished S3E9 a few hours ago and I'm still completely thunderstruck.

I actually started season one a few weeks ago but struggled getting past the first few episodes. I reckon it took the writers a few episodes to settle on the tone of the show, to hone in on the correct balance between comedy and drama, and to identify the strengths of their cast so they could write them into the characters.

Once I made it to S1E6 though, I was hooked, and by season two, I was laughing, sobbing, seething and getting my heart broken, all in equal measure, because somehow showrunner Jesse Armstrong had managed to elevate the stories, the dialogue and the characters, and somehow Jeremy Strong had found new and interesting ways to complicate his portrayal of Ken, the only financebro sonofabillionaire loser on tv to have ever broken me, before his brother Rome joined the club, by reaching heretofore undiscovered depths in Pathetic Failure acting...

I was so ready for season three to fall short of the standards set by its predecessor, but it didn't. It may have been slow going in the middle for a bit there, but by the end, all I can think is what a ride. I don't know how it matched them, perhaps even exceeded them, but it did. At the beginning of this season, "Relevant Donuts" planted the idea that what we really want is to see the siblings together on the same side, taking down their father. So when the season finale finally pays that off, and we start to feel hopeful even a little proud of our trio for overcoming their father's machinations, only to have the rug pulled out from under us all in that Godfather betrayal — I'm still reeling. It was not shocking that Tom would do that, given everything he'd been put through, but I'm still shocked. And that is some brilliant writing.

I fully understand now why Charlie and Glenn were so in awe of Matthew Macfadyen's acting range and his seemless transitions from the most ridiculous comedy to most affecting drama (in a conversation from one of those early video episodes of the Sunny podcast). I've only known him from his fantastic performance as Mr Darcy in the 2005 Pride and Prejudice film, and Tom Wambsgans couldn't be further away from that role.

I have so many thoughts about how charming yet sneaky and two-faced Greg the Egg was all along, how that social climbing nature was developed, and how fascinating his dynamic with Tom is, especially as a parallel to the Tom/Shiv marriage. I despise everything that people like Shiv and Roman stand for and yet I can't help feeling so sorry for them as they stand before their father, looking for his love and approval, only to be ruthlessly dismissed, used and humiliated. I don't remember the last time I hated a character more than I do Logan Roy for his manipulative behaviour and the cruel ways he makes his children compete for his affection while claiming to act from a place of paternal benevolence. I can't say enough about Kendall, Siobhan, Roman, Tom, Greg, Logan, Gerri, Frank, Marcia, Hugo and just the whole bloody cast of characters and actors on this show.

As always, the "Jesse Armstrong and Armando Iannucci Uncomfortable Satirical Comedy Universe" of shows and films about fucked-up people, usually in positions of power, does not miss. I'm going to try not to be very annoying about this on my Sunny blog, but hey, it's my blog, so I might actually, at least in the near future since season four is nearly upon us. But I'm also a lazy bastard who hates hitting Post on their drafts. So who knows.

Anyway, I'm likely going to be the obnoxious friend who quotes this show like I do with Sunny and The Sopranos with my mates all the time now. It's already begun irl and I don't think I'll be able to stop anytime soon.

Excuse me while I go down a rabbit-hole of videos featuring the writers and cast of this show now. Maybe Jesse Armstrong will somewhere explain his brain to me.

#succession #succession hbo #jesse armstrong #jeremy strong #matthew macfadyen #not sunny #sur #sur rambles

[the-spooky-alien]

I posted 1,168 times in 2022

That's 1,168 more posts than 2021!

90 posts created (8%)

1,078 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cock-holliday

@baronessblixen

@amplifyme

@mulderwearingglasses

@agent-troi

I tagged 1,146 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#txf - 975 posts

#fox mulder - 772 posts

#dana scully - 749 posts

#msr - 442 posts

#fav - 79 posts

#fictober22 - 30 posts

#xffictober2022 - 30 posts

#the monstrumologist - 29 posts

#he's so pretty - 26 posts

#scully my beloved - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#they could be talking about religion sports or even the reproductive function of mulder's fish and still tie it back to their relationship

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay, so I just watched The Unnatural and- I have literally no words. The MSR is just glorious in this episode ??? Like, they barely interact through the ep, but when they do, it's so flirty and fun ?? They're best friends in love, your honor. I mean, I thought, before seeing the ep, that the whole baseball game at the end was some sort of ploy for the investigation which I believed to be in the middle or early episode. And then I finally watched it and it's at the end and has absolutely nothing to do with an investigation and it's just Mulder and Scully having fun and flirting and touching each other and just being wholesome ??? With the little fight for who gets to put hands on the middle of the bat ??? And the cute little banter ??? AND THE WAY MULDER WHISPERS IN HER EAR ????

146 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#4

Thinking of Mulder, touch-starved because nobody ever tried to give him a hug (because somehow, I can't imagine Phoebe or Diana being affectionate, and we all know his parents became distant after Samantha's abduction). Thinking of Mulder having to learn how to be touched, how to be held. Learning how to allow himself to be loved. Thinking of Scully being so, so patient with him, slowly easing him into tender touch until he stops stiffening in surprise when she hugs him from behind. Thinking about Mulder learning he's worth being loved through witnessing Scully's care and love for him. Thinking about them healing together, making each other better, smoothing over their sharp edges.

Thinking about them loving each other so much that they can never quite believe it but never stops wanting to believe in it nevertheless.

207 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

I may be projecting, but I like to think of Scully as someone who isn't overtly physical ? I mean, she likes it when it's people she loves and trusts (i like to imagine she never refuses a hug from her mum, she doesn't refrain from ruffling her younger brother's hair to annoy him when they're children, and she used to like to hang out with Melissa on the couch, shoulders against shoulders, to watch the TV), but apart from that, she's reserved. The times when we see her be physical with other people (apart from Mulder) is usually to comfort them, and usually she just places her hand on their shoulders. (there is this one time she kisses Skinner on the mouth, but i'm pretty sure she was so lost in the euphoria of finding Mulder she didn't think about it. i like to think she couldn't look Skinner in the eyes afterwards).

Anyway, for someone so put together like her, so reserved, both emotionally and physically, it must have been weird to be parternered with Mulder, who is a very physical person. He's always in her personal space, always with his hand on her back, and I don't know, but there's something so trusting about this. About being someone who isn't very physical but allowing this special person to touch you because you like their touch. Because Scully doesn't show signs of being bothered by this, which means she doesn't mind, which means she likes Mulder's touch in particular.

I have no idea where I'm going with this, I might just be screaming into the void, but the simple idea of a physically reserved Scully allowing Mulder to touch her because she likes his touch, and then actually initiating the touching because she likes touching him too, is so dear to me. (and then i think about the pilot, where she leans into him, terrified, already trusting him enough to touch him like that after knowing him for like two days, and- they're insane for making me emotional like that)

242 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

#2

Squeeze is such an iconic episode. Not only does it gives us the memorable ''Do you think I'm spooky ?'' scene but it also gives us : Mulder in glasses, his horrible ties, Scully's impeccable fashion sense, Mulder being territorial over Scully, Scully realizing she loves her work and loves working with Mulder, Scully saying Mulder is a great agent, a creepy as fuck monster, Mulder's worst joke ever (''Somebody having a garage sale'') and Mulder's best joke ever (''Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior ?''), an emotional moment of an old man finally getting closure over his worst case ever, Scully roasting the hell out of Colton (''Then I can't wait `til you fall off and land on your ass''), Mulder thinking Scully got the right guy and fighting to make her realize, and finally the soft shoulder touch at the end.

Oh and also this shot of very platonic gazing between two coworkers

342 notes - Posted November 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Why does she feel the need to speak so close to his face ??? HOW IS IT PLATONIC COWORKER BEHAVIOR

371 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[elamarth-calmagol]

A late Krampusnacht story

For Christmas Eve, instead of a Lord of the Rings thing, here is some of my original writing. I actually posted this last year after I impulsively wrote it, but snce then, I've edited a lot, showed it to a few people, and even read it to a third grade class. The kids who didn't chicken out at the scary parts loved it.

I'm also posting it because I would totally self-publish and sell this if I had an illustrator not that I have any money we could work something out with a kickstarter or a royalties arrangement where the illustrator gets the majority? Look, I can dream.

---

I’m Not Afraid of Krampus

AKA, The Night My Brother Punched Krampus

I hate my little brother, Jack.  He doesn’t like any of the things I like, he never wants to share, and he’s really annoying.  And right now, I have to share his room for a whole month.  His stupid room full of stupid planes and stupid trains.  All because Opa, our grandfather, is here for the holidays, and he has to use my room.

“I want to use the tablet,” I say.  “You’ve had it for an hour.”

“I have not,” says Jack.  “Anyway, you can watch your stupid animal videos on TV.  I’m playing a game.”

I put my hands on my hips.  “They are not stupid.  And Opa is watching TV.  And it’s your turn for the bed and my turn for the sleeping bag, so you owe me.”

“I don’t care,” he answers.  “It’s my bed, anyway.”

I try to grab the tablet.  He pushes me away.

“Mom!” I yell.  “Jack’s hogging the tablet!”

“Hannah’s stealing!” Jack yells after me.

But Opa comes instead of Mom.  Opa is from Germany.  He moved here years ago, so he speaks good English, but he likes German better.  That’s why we call him “Opa” instead of “Grandpa”.

“Are you fighting again?” Opa asked.  “Don’t you know it’s Krampusnacht tonight?  If you don’t behave, Krampus is going to put you in his bag and take you away to eat you!”

“What’s Krampus?” asks Jack.

“It’s some stupid German thing,” I say.  I remember Opa talking about it before.

“Krampus is the Christmas demon,” says Grandpa.  “He visits children’s houses the night before Saint Nicholas’ Day.  Saint Nicholas is Santa Claus’ real name, you know.”

“There’s a Christmas demon?” Jack says.  His voice squeaks.

“But it won’t be Christmas for weeks,” I say.  “So how can it be Krampusnacht tonight?”

“Saint Nicholas’ Day is on December six,” says Opa.  “Americans don’t celebrate it, so Santa comes on Christmas for you instead.  In Germany, all of the children leave their shoes out the night before Saint Nicholas’ Day.  He leaves toys in the good children’s shoes.  But Krampus looks for the bad children, and he leaves coal in their shoes.”

“That’s what Santa does!” says Jack.

I roll my eyes.  I don’t believe in Santa.  I’m too old for stupid things like that.

“Yes, I know,” Opa answers.  “But when children are really bad, Krampus puts them in a bag so he can take them home to eat.”

“You just made that up,” I say.

“It’s true!  Every child in Germany knows about Krampus.  And I saw him once.”  Opa bends down and makes a scary face.  “He has big goat horns and sharp teeth.  He’s all black, his eyes glow bright red, and his tongue is pointed.  He was the worst thing I’ve ever seen!”

Jack is shaking.  His eyes are huge.  But I cross my arms.

“I’m not scared of any old Krampus,” I say.  “If he really stole children, then we’d hear about it in the news.  And there would be too many kids to put in one bag.  And his name is stupid.”

But Jack believes him.  “If we don’t stop fighting, we’re going to get taken by Krampus and we’re going to get coal in our stockings from Santa!”

“Santa isn’t real, either,” I say.  “How could he go to all those houses in one night?  And how would he fit down a chimney?  And have you ever met anyone who got coal in their stocking?  Anyway, if Krampus eats you, you won’t have to worry about any stupid coal.”

"But you saw him once!  You said!"

I roll my eyes again.  "Yeah, but I was dreaming.  It was the middle of the night.  And I didn’t pinch myself to check if I was awake.  And you didn't see him."

“I know he’s real,” says Jack.  “I hope he gives you coal, and Krampus does, too.”

Mom finally comes to see what’s wrong.  “Nobody gives kids coal anymore,” she says.  “Not Santa or Krampus.  It’s bad for the environment.  Santa only brings presents to good children, as you know, but Krampus doesn’t come to America.”

“That’s not true.  You just never saw Krampus because you never fought with your brother,” says Opa.

Mom frowns at Opa.  I don’t think she believes in Krampus, either.

I notice that Jack left the tablet on the floor.  I pick it up.

“Hey!” says Jack.  “It’s my turn!”

“You’ve had it forever!”

He tries to get it back, but I hold it up high where he can’t reach.  Then, he punches me in the nose.  He can’t hit very hard, but it hurts.

“Mom!” I yell.

“That’s it,” says Mom.  “No more tablet for either of you.  No TV, either.”

I’m so mad.  Jack punched me, but we both got in trouble.

“Now Krampus is going to take us away for sure!” wails Jack.  He’s starting to cry.  “It’s all your fault!”

“I hope Krampus is real, and he does take you away and eat you!  I hope I never see you again!”

Jack stomps his foot.  “You’re the worst sister ever!”

“And you’re the worst brother!”

Too bad I still have to sleep in Jack’s room.  I still have to sleep in the stupid sleeping bag.  And I even have to hear him crying about stupid Krampus.

I fall asleep.  But in the middle of the night, I wake up.  Someone opens the door to our room.  “Mom?” I ask.  “Opa?”

But it’s not Mom or Opa.  The shadow in the doorway is way too tall.  Then, it steps through my door, and I can see it in the light from the street.  It’s all black, and it looks like it has horns coming out of its head.  It opens its mouth and shows me its sharp teeth and pointed tongue. It has long claws on its hands, and there’s a black bag over its shoulder.  And its eyes glow bright red.  It’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen.

I think I’m dreaming, so I pinch myself.  But the pinch hurts, like it does in real life.

“Gruss vom Krampus,”* he says.  I know that’s German.  He licks its lips with his long tongue.  “Happy Krampusnacht.  You both look very tasty.”

“Jack!” I scream.  “Help!”

Jack sits up.  He looks at me, and his mouth opens wide.

Krampus leans over me and opens his long claws.  “I think I’ll put Hannah in first,” he says.  “Jack will fit on top.  But hurry up!  I have to go all the way back to Germany before the sun rises there.”

I scream.  “Jack, it’s Krampus!  Krampus is going to eat us!”

I don’t know what to do.  But to my surprise, Jack jumps up.  “I’m not scared of any old Krampus!” he says.  “If you steal so many children, why don’t we hear about it on the news?  And how can you fit me and Hannah and some stupid German kids in your bag?  Anyway, if you eat us, we won’t have to worry about coal in our stockings.  And your name is stupid.”

Then, he punches Krampus in the nose.

Jack can’t hit very hard.  But I guess it hurt, because Krampus sits down on the floor.  And then, he starts to cry.  He doesn’t look so scary like this.  I laugh.

 “You hit me!” he whines.  “And you’re laughing at me!  You’re the worst children ever!  I’m going to tell Saint Nicholas what you did!”  Then, he picks up his bag and runs away.

Too bad for him, Opa is in the hall.  He yells in German and runs after Krampus with his walking stick.  “It’s okay, Opa!” I shout at him.  “We’re here!”

He comes back to our room.  “Krampus didn’t take you?” he asks.

“No!” I say.  “Jack punched him!  He ran away!”

“Yeah,” says Jack.  “But Santa for sure won’t give me any presents now.”

“I think it’s okay to punch someone who wants to eat you,” I say.  “Anyway, Mom and Opa will still give us presents even if Santa doesn’t.  Right, Opa?”

Opa laughs.  “You punched Krampus?  Of course you get presents!”

“Only because Hannah told me how stupid Krampus is,” Jack says.  He looks at me.  “I’m glad you’re my sister.  I guess I should be nicer to you.  But I hope Krampus never comes back.”

“I won’t be scared of him with you around,” I say.  “I’m glad you’re my brother.”

Last page: picture of Santa’s hands crossing out “Naughty” next to Hannah and Jack’s names and writing “Nice” instead

“But I might have to think some more about that time I saw Santa Claus…”

#krampusnacht #holidays #christmas #st nicholas #krampus #original fiction #writing #horror #mine

[minniethemoocherda]

Five times Cody did not tell Obi-Wan what he was thinking plus one time that he did: Chapter 2

Summery:  Snapshots of Cody and Obi-Wan growing up together over the years. Modern AU.

Ao3

It was a chilly September morning when Jango dropped Cody off for his first day of Sophomore year. It was strange to think that a whole year had passed since he first stepped foot here.

His younger brothers Fives and Echo were joining them at high school this year. Jango dumped them by the school gates, his foot not even leaving the peddle before he sped off to drop the rest of the Fetts off at the nearby middle school. Cody hurried to catch up with the younger set of twins as they raced up the school steps. They were far to energetic for a Monday morning, still under the illusion that high school was this magical place where everyone burst into song or were secretly wizards. Cody would almost pity them if they hadn't woken him up an hour early. Further up the stairway, Cody could see people crowding as a couple walked through the entrance hand in hand. He supposed that was one thing all those movies and TV shows did get right about high school. The never ending nosiness of relationship drama. Through the throng of students, Cody made out that one of the hands belonged to Satine Kryze; straight A student, captain of debate team and heir to the Kryze Industries Fortune. She could have been the most popular girl in school if such a trivial thing as popularity had been deemed worthy of her interest. And at her side was- "Hey isn't that Obi-Wan?" Fives piped up. 

Sure enough, the young gentleman currently holding the door open, was indeed Obi-Wan.

"Did you know about this?" Rex asked him. Cody nodded because of course Obi-Wan had told him about the amazingly perfect girl he'd met at summer school. He was his best friend after all. Well after Rex. But Rex is his twin, he has to be his best friend. Like how since Obi-Wan and Quinlan grew up together, they were going to be best friends whether they liked it or not. Obi-Wan is Cody's best friend out of choice and vice versa which Cody felt was the highest honour. "And you're okay with it?" Rex pressed. "Why wouldn't I be?" Cody replied, confused by the odd tone of his brother's voice. Rex just stared at him for a long moment, before shaking his head in silence.  "She's prettttyyyyyy!" Fives teased because he is a little shit and Cody yanks the hook of his backpack like a mother would to her kittens to stop him from running off to purposefully annoy the couple. He reluctantly let go as the school bell rung, grateful at least that Obi-Wan and Satine were out of sight now. Still, something about Five's words got stuck in Cody's head. Because sure he objectively knew that Satine was pretty in a western standards of beauty kind of way with her naturally golden locks, sapphire eyes and rose lips. But he didn't understand why that was enough for someone like Obi-Wan to fall for her. Why any guy would fall for a girl like her. Cody spent homeroom stewing in silence, ignoring Rex's pointed looks. The rest of his morning didn't improve much. He snapped at Quinlan's usual teasing. Got fouled twice in gym. And vented so much at the back of History that even Ventress was giving him concerned looks. By the time fourth period rolled around, he was exhausted both mentally and physically.  The worst part was that he didn't even understand why. Which only made him angrier. Cody was so lost in his own turmoil that he was surprised when Obi-Wan slid into the seat next to him. "Aren't you going to sit with your new girlfriend." Cody gestured to where Satine was chatting to Padme a few desks in front of them. "We're dating Cody, not surgically joined at the hip." Obi-Wan said with that quirk of the corner of his lip. Something about that now familiar sight calmed the unsettled feelings Cody had inside. "Do you not like her?" Obi-Wan asked suddenly, because Obi-Wan was perceptive bastard and it wasn't hard to pick up on Cody's frustration. Cody resisted the urge to sigh. He wanted to admit to Obi-Wan the truth. That there was some part of him deep inside of him that hated her but that would be impossible to tell his best friend because the last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Obi-Wan’s feelings, especially when he had no rational explanation as to why. "No. I do like her. I think she's beautiful and smart and brilliant. That you'll be brilliant together. I'm happy for you." He told him, because he was. He was happy if Obi-Wan was happy. And that was all that mattered. "I'm just having the first day back from hell." Thankfully, Obi-Wan accepted his answer settling into his seat with a warm smile on his face. "I'd hate to make your day even worse, but you should probably be made aware that Anakin and Fives have over half their classes together." Cody groaned as he banged his head on the table. 

#obi wan kenobi #Obi-Wan Kenobi #codywan #commander cody #Ben Kenobi #kenobi series #kenobi tv #the clone wars #Anakin Skywalker #darth vader #fives #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #clone trooper fives #echo #the bad batch #tbb #modern au #sins of the past #jango fett #satine kryze #obitine #cody x obi wan #Padme Amidala #asajj ventress #quinlan vos #rex #captain rex

[pcrfectstorms]

so by some turn of events i am adding Mike Wheeler, yeah, i didn’t see this coming either but here we are!  I present to you some head canons for my asshole smoll yet tol son! i’ll definitely have more to write but this kind of sets the ball rolling!

First and foremost, my iteration of mike will explore themes of internalized homophobia, childhood trauma, undiagnosed depression (possibly bipolar to be diagnosed much later in life) anxiety, and themes of child neglect, absent-yet-physically-present fathers, and other triggering topics e.g. suicidal ideation.

Before we get into the meatier shit, i haven’t quite worked out with mikes sexuality is, but he isn’t straight, i think its more organic to let that develop as I write him, since he doesn’t even know himself, but he is not straight, and is very much confused and in denial about his feelings for a certain best friend of his, will byers.

Mike is a sarcastic, passive-aggressive little shit, but he’s also fiercely loyal, albeit may not come out like that, he’s very guarded and closed off emotionally which is largely due to his home life, and never having had an example of what a loving relationship looks like, by the time mike came along Karen and Ted’s marriage was largely loveless, his dad for the most part had never shown any interest in mike, even as a little kid, so while he isn’t physically absent, he may as well be, since he had never taken an active role in his son’s life, he resents his dad a lot, when he was a kid he would try and get Ted’s attention, even tried taking an interest in American football (which he had no real interest in, he hates sports), but Ted would just get annoyed when Mike asked too many questions and interrupted him trying to watch the game, eventually mike just stopped trying to win over any affection or attention from his dad and just gave up. He also hates the way his dad treats his mom, Mike is a low-key momma’s boy, as much as he would protest it and deny it, when he’s sad, or sick it's his mom he wants.

He’s been bullied almost his entire life, but he hates showing weakness, so he developed a defence mechanism of sarcasm to cover up for how it really makes him feel, he struggles with body image issues, self-worth issues, and some VERY repressed internalized homophobia, Mike isn’t stupid, or blind, he’s heard the things people would say about will, knows the things will’s dad would call him too, and even heard hushed comments from his own father about his best friend (more reason why he hates his dad) being gay wasn’t an option, he’s had that drilled into him ever since he was a little kid. He’s also not clueless to current event happening in this time frame, he doesn’t know much about the HIV/AIDS crisis, but he hears it on TV, and hears his dad mutter comments about queers. In all honestly, Mike is terrified of even letting himself think about what it would mean to like boys.

He is VERY  closeted, and yet that doesn’t take away from his very real, school boy crush on Eddie Munson (listen, at least the kids consistent with his taste in dorky dungeon masters and it's innocent in the way that its like wow you’re so cool i want to be you kinda way), it’s an innocent crush, a little hero worshipping of this cool older kid who doesn’t give a fuck, and embraces everything mike wishes he had the confidence too. Mike was so scared about going to high school, his middle school experience was hell, and he just didn’t want a repeat of that, so when Eddie took him and Dustin under his wing that first week of freshman year mike, for the first time was excited to go to school, to get to sit at the table with older, cool in their own right, kind of boys, who played in a band, and run a D&D club, he was hesitant at first about joining Hellfire, after he had promised his best friend that he wouldn’t join another party, but with a little convincing from Henderson and Lucas he was in.

as the weeks went by his little crush grew, and he started to notice all the things about Eddie that reminded him of will, and he would talk to Eddie about will, about their old campaigns, about how much he missed him, how weird it was to not live in the same town any more, how him and will had talked about what high school would be like, and now he was doing it all alone, and sure he has Lucas and Dustin, but it isn’t the same without will and El. In the weeks that passed directly after will and el left for California mike spiralled into a depressive episode, he didn’t want to go to school, didn’t want to see his friends, and mostly isolated himself, hauled up in his room with his guitar and some music recommendations from Eddie, he thought a lot about ‘83 when will went missing, when he thought he had lost his best friend, when he watched his best friends ‘body’ be dragged out of lovers lake, and in some weird way it almost felt like that all over again, even though he knew will was safe, and alive, he was missing all over again, and nothing felt right any more, everything was so different, and it sucked. He isn’t good at expressing his feelings, or talking about them, but his mom noticed, and was worried about her kid, tried to get him to go to the doctor and talk to someone, after seeing how much he was clearly struggling but Mike brushed it off and started taking a bit more pride in his appearance again to get his mom off his back.

Part of the reason he didn’t write to will as often as El was a mix of el being the one who would write to him first, and in his letters back to her, he would ask about will, it wasn’t that he didn’t care he just finds it super awkward to show his feelings, writing to El was easy, it was mostly responding to the questions she asked in her letters. Mike thought about breaking up with her, but he didn’t think it was right to do that over letter or the telephone, it isn’t that he doesn’t love El, he does, but he isn’t really in love with her, they were trauma bonded, traumatised kids that saved the world together, multiple times, he cares about her so much and loves her deeply, but he’s just a kid, he doesn’t really know what love it, and his parents sure as hell never had it for each other for as long as he can remember.

Also, re: the cliff scene in season one, very much as I see it, that plays into Mike’s history of depression and suicidal ideation, while I don’t think he has actively attempted to take his own life, he had passively in the situation he throws himself into without much consideration for his own safety, he was absolutely willing to jump off that cliff, and while he was terrified, part of him genuinely felt like no one would care if he did jump, no one would really miss him. His self-worth at that time, was at its lowest, he was a sad little bullied kid, who had just lost his best friend in the whole world, and was still in denial about it (rightly so).

#❛ hiding the tears in my eyes ‘cause boys don’t cry ❜ [ muse; mike wheeler ] #❛ so you think you know me ❜ [ headcanons; mike wheeler ]

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

it's been a year since i lied to you and told you that yes ive moved on so can we please be friends again. can you really blame me? i thought getting good at suppressing our memories from that one month meant moving on. i didn't know that i would feel a lump in my throat when you called me suddenly in the middle of a sunday even tho the plan was to talk once a week and we had talked only 3 days before. i didn't know i would feel butterflies in my stomach when i heard your laugh so close to my ear, but can you really blame me for being reminded of you giggling talking about the logistics of kissing on your study table?

but it's been another year since we've talked on the phone. those memories are so distant and blurry and full of light and happiness that i can't even believe they happened to me, it feels like they happened to a different person. so you don't have to worry, because ive moved on now.

remember when i used to tell you that i miss you so much i can't think about anything else, that i spend all my day reading our old chats? and you used to say, you need to stop and there are other people in the world? well, you don't have to worry about feeling uncomfortable now. i passed the exam i failed because i was too heartbroken over you. i go to tuitions and then i go to internship and i come home so late that all i do is eat and sleep. ive been doing better these days.

and you were right, there are other people in the world. but do you know, i asked a girl to come watch barbie with me, and she made a disgusted expression and said she'd already watched it and she hated it? this happened after we shared a coffee and realising we live next to each other and finding out that she watches kdramas and i listen to kpop. so surprising isn't it? someone who probably understands toxic masculinity and gender roles are fucked up still has internalised misogyny in her? nobody can compare to you, you lecturing me about feminism in tenth standard and your little book club with assigned reading as a thousand splendid suns and you having tears in your eyes showing us harry styles with pride flags in his concerts and you being mean and blunt saying i need to talk about my internalised homophobia. im starting to think you were one in a million and i was a fool to lose you, and an even bigger fool to have had you back and then lose you again.

but do you understand now? you told me you didn't, two years ago. i asked you, don't you understand that i was going crazy dealing with my psychotic family and i was depressed and tired and couldn't talk? and you said no, you're sorry, you really don't, you don't understand how someone can not share why they're sad to the person they supposedly love the most in the world. as i was writing this, daylight by taylor swift started playing. ironic, isn't it? there are many memories ive tried to erase from that one month, but this one i cannot forget- me coming into your room the night we planned and asking you if you're sure about this and is this like an experiment thing a oh what's kissing like thing or is it a we're in love with each other thing, and you smiling softly and saying girl yes i am sure it is one hundred percent a we're in love thing.

ive been getting better at sharing my sadness with my loved ones. my parents haven't stopped fighting, my dad shouted at my mom today morning because my brother lost the car keys, but it's okay, ive learned to tune it out. he only lives here for half a month, he stays somewhere else the other half so it's been easier to bear. my sister moved out, finally. ive been sad because of it but i know she's obviously happier there so it's okay. we have a neighbor and they have this tiny tiny annoying si kid she always comes to her house after her mom scolded her to sulk and watch tv with us. how is your little sister doing? i think of her when our neighbor devil comes. and how is your mom doing? are they settling in well to the new city? and how are you doing? have you been okay? we don't have to be exes trying to be friends again. but can't we just be childhood friends (if age 15 was childhood) who drifted apart briefly but found their way back to each other? please?

but it's okay, if we can't. cause like i said, ive moved on.

#it's 2:29 am and i can't sleep #do you get sad on these specific dates too? probably not cause you don't remember dates well #30th july my exams ended 5th of august we had a sleepover with our mutual friend it was the last time we were ever okay before i fucked #it all up permanently it was the last time you let me kiss you in the balcony last time you let me hold your hand tho you pulled away under #the pretense that you were cold. i still don't know if you were really cold or just mad at me #fast forward 28th august you said we should end this and i didn't put up a fight i just said okay if that's what you want #sept 12 we again had a sleepover and you let me rest my head on your shoulder for the last time ever and i rmbr not watching the movie at #all just silently wiping my tears on your shirt #and was it sept 21? you left here forever and you said you'll never come back to this shitty small town and you've kept your word #all of this probably makes you think i haven't moved on at all right? #but i have because i know that the person in my memories no longer exists and i have made my peace with it im glad it happened #and i also know i don't know anything about the person you are today #but id like to know #and you have a tumblr so if you're reading this and you maybe miss me a little too #text me? #okay bye kuch zyada hi bol diya #messages i can't send