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#i got about a month before anime central so i am just trying . to VIBE. for the first time in months
cozylittleartblog · 18 days
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here comes the boy ~ hello boy ✨
cleaned up a couple of the vash doodles i did while learning to draw him :)
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damianwaynerocks · 4 years
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Ghosts in Gotham
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Danny Phantom / DC Comics fanfic
Dedicated to: @dannyphantom-justiceleauge
Summary: The Batfamily has been through their fair share of the supernatural. That’s why they originally weren’t worried whenever ghosts started showing up in Gotham City. Until one day, something happens; Batman is captured and taken into the Ghost Zone. With no way to go in there themselves, the no way to fight the ghosts inside, the bats decide to call the person who can; Danny Phantom. Together, Danny takes Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown and Damian Wayne into the Ghost Zone before the Batman is lost forever.
Words: 2032
ch 2 Masterlist
Chapter 1:
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Every city had its hero.
Gotham City? Batman. Metropolis? Superman. Central City? The Flash.
Amity Park? Danny Phantom.
Amity Park had mixed feelings about Phantom. Some said he was a helper, a true hero, keeping the town safe. Others said he was a criminal, doing nothing but wreaking havoc on the town. Either way, Phantom was known for one specific thing; fighting ghosts.
Which is what he was doing at the moment.
"I am!! The Box Ghost!!" a short, stocky ghost shouted. His eyes glowed blue and an aura of the same color surrounded the boxes crowding the back of a movie theater. "Beware!" he raised his arms and hurled three boxes at a figure who easily dodged.
"Come on, Box Ghost," a teenage boy with white hair and green eyes floating above the ground groaned. "I don't have time for this! I have to order the new Cheese Viking game before it sells out!"
"Beware!" The Box Ghost shouted again, throwing more boxes at the boy.
Danny Phantom rolled his eyes as his body became intangible, the boxes easily passing through it. He raised his arm, and a blast of bright green energy shot from his palm, hitting the Box Ghost square in the chest. The Box Ghost, with a grunt, was blown back into the brick wall of the movie theater.
Not wasting any time, Danny grabbed the thermos that he had strapped to his back and pointed it at the other ghost. In a flash of light, the Box Ghost was sucked into the thermos.
"Finally," Danny muttered as he took off into the sky.
Danny Phantom, his real name being Danny Fenton, was a sixteen-year-old halfa, or a ghost-human hybrid. He could switch between ghost and human form at will. He'd gotten his powers from an accident with the Ghost Portal, a portal in his home that was a bridge between the human world and the Ghost Zone, where every ghost resides.
Ghosts repeatedly escaped the Ghost Zone through this portal for one of three reasons; to wreak havoc on the human world, to kill Danny or both. Usually, it was the latter.
Danny returned to his house, passing through the walls of the building with intangibility and landing in the lab. He switched back to his human form in a flash of light, changing his hair color from white to black and his eyes from green to blue.
His family was made up of ghost hunters- aside from his sister -so they had an entire lab dedicated to ghost technology.
"Back you go, Boxy," Danny said as he released the Box Ghost into the portal. "Finally," he sighed, "Time to get Cheese Viking."
"No!" he shouted five minutes later at his computer. The new Cheese Viking, Danny's favorite game, had sold out.
"Danny!" a large man in an orange jumpsuit burst into the boy's room. "Are you okay!? Are you hurt!?"
"No, Dad, I'm fine," Danny replied to his father, Jack Fenton. "Except for that stupid Box Ghost making me too late to get Cheese Viking!"
He hadn't told his parents about his life as Phantom until he was fifteen. Well, it wasn't Danny who told them. His sister found him in his room passed out with a gaping hole in his side, and she had to tell their parents so they could help him.
Jack paused. "But.. you got him?" he asked cheerily. Danny smiled.
"Yeah. I got him." Jack slapped him on the back.
"Thatta boy!" he said with a grin. "Come on, Jazz got a letter from Wayne Enterprises and your mom wants the whole family to watch her open it!"
Jazz, Danny's sister, had just graduated high school and had applied for an internship at Wayne Enterprises, one of the largest businesses in the world. An internship there would kick-start her career in marketing. That was the reason she claimed, but Danny was sure that part of the reason was that Bruce Wayne, the billionaire who owned Wayne Enterprises, was cute.
"Finally!" Jazz, a girl with long red hair and a blue headband huffed. "I haven't been able to look for three hours! What were you out doing?"
"Uh, my job?" Danny smirked as he hopped over the back of the couch to sit on it. Jazz rolled her eyes.
"Open it, dear!" Their mom, Maddie Fenton, urged. Jazz grinned widely, opening the letter. Her smile grew, and she jumped up and down.
"I got it!" she squealed. "I got it!! I got the internship!!"
"That's great, Jazz!" the other three Fentons exclaimed at once. Jazz seemed to get even more excited as she continued reading the letter.
"And," she continued excitedly, "All the interns are expected to attend the next Wayne Gala with their families! All expenses paid!"
"Yes!" Jack cried. "We're going to New Jersey, baby!" As the entire family celebrated, Danny couldn't help but be suspicious. Jazz had applied late and while she was smart, she wouldn't have been anything special next to the other applicants.
Something was up. _
"So what, you think she only got accepted because of you?" A girl with short black hair raised an eyebrow as they walked through the halls of their high school. "Why, exactly?"
"Because, Sam," Danny responded to his girlfriend. "It's weird. I was looking at the Infi-map, and there's a portal to the Ghost Zone in Gotham that wasn't there a month ago. And get this? It's five miles away from Wayne Manor.”
"You think Bruce Wayne wants you out of the way for some plan?
"It wouldn't be the first time somebody did."
"But how would he even know who you are?" Sam Manson asked, "I mean, there's no way he knows that you're Phantom."
"Um, because he's Batman?" An African American boy walking beside them scoffed as though it was obvious. "Batman knows everything."
Danny and Sam laughed. "Tucker, seriously?" Danny shook his head in disbelief. "That conspiracy? Batman and Bruce Wayne have been seen at the same time in the same place multiple times.”
"Okay, well, you can clone yourself! Who's to say Batman can't? Or maybe it's a hologram! Or maybe it's one of his thousand children in the suit!" Tucker Foley counted on his fingers as he rattled off the various theories. His eyes widened, and he grabbed Danny's shoulders. "Dude, you have to get proof."
"There's no way I'd be able to get close enough to Bruce Wayne to prove anything."
"Then trick him!" Tucker said, his eyes bright. "Most of Bruce's adopted kids are boys with black hair and blue eyes! Just say you're an orphan and I bet he'll be like 'Of course you can stay, I am always down for more children."
"Okay, first of all," Danny began, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder and prying his friends arms off of him. “His son Damian? That kid scares me, he gives off Dash vibes. Did you see how he made that interviewer cry?"
A few months prior, a video had surfaced that showed Damian Wayne insulting a girl who was trying to give him an interview. The two-minute video ended with the girl crying.
"And second of all-" Danny was cut off as he was shoved to the ground. He looked up to see Dash Baxter, a muscular boy with blonde hair.
"Watch where you're going, Fen-freak," Dash sneered, "Before I shove your puny face into a locker!"
Danny gritted his teeth as he sat up. Dash had been picking on him from the beginning of high school. Two years later, he hadn't stopped.
On any other occasion, Danny would have said something in response, but Dash had already continued down the hall.
"Why can't you just zap him or something?" Tucker grumbled. "He's the worst!"
"Yeah, I know," Danny stood up, wiping dust off of his shirt. "But I can't. It isn't right."
"Your moral code is dumb," his friend snapped back.
"If you're going to Gotham," said Sam with a pointed look at Tucker. "Who's gonna be here to help with the ghosts?"
"I've got it covered," Danny replied swiftly, looking up. "Dani's coming down.  It'll be fine. I have to keep Jazz safe, and figure out what Brucie Wayne is up to."
__
"I am sure Father would have a better plan than to invite some under-qualified intern to the Manor."
A seventeen-year-old boy with spiky black hair rolled his eyes. "Damian, she isn't under-qualified. She meets all of the qualifications for the internship."
The first boy, an Arab thirteen-year-old with the same spiky hair and bright green eyes, scoffed. "There is no way a person from some backwater town would have received the internship if we hadn't needed her brother."
Tim Drake and Damian Wayne, the youngest children of Bruce Wayne. Damian currently held the Robin mantle, while Tim used Red Robin. The brothers were in a large cave decked out with a plethora of high-tech equipment.
"Okay, but you think every place outside of Gotham is a backwater town." Tim pointed out as he swiveled his chair to face a massive computer.
"Amity Park is a backwater town. The citizens there are animals," Damian retorted, crossing his arms. "You just cannot see that because you are also a backwater type."
Tim laughed as he realized what the younger boy was basing his opinion on. "Damian, please tell me you haven't generalized an entire city just because of one tourist from Amity Park ran into you and spilled soda on your shirt."
"It was my favorite shirt! And that cretin did not even apologize!" Damian spat. "The nerve!"
"Okay, well, put aside your dumb grudge and think about the objective," Tim responded. "I think, if you look within that thing you call a soul, you can see that letting one intern that you think is under-qualified is worth getting Bruce back."
"Tt. I suppose," Damian admitted begrudgingly. "If this Danny Phantom character truly has the potential to save Father."
"He's the only one who can." Tim reminded him. "We can't get into the Ghost Zone without a ghost, and I don't think any of the ones we've seen so far would be willing to help," He paused. "Plus, don't the Fentons make ghost hunting gear? Who knows, maybe they have a ghost sword."
After a sudden wave of ghost attacks in Gotham, Bruce had poured in countless hours of research to find out as much as he could about ghosts. He had discovered that they came from another dimension and that there was one person who was an expert at fighting them; Danny Phantom of Amity Park. It didn't take very long for him to uncover Phantom's true identity.
"Tim! Dames!" a voice shouted. "My boys!" Tim and Damian looked towards the stairs and saw a taller man with black hair and blue eyes jump the railing of said stairs, landing in the Bat Cave.This was their oldest brother, Dick Grayson, also known as Nightwing. He grinned brightly. "How's it going?"
"Making sure that we have every possible outcome of this mission prepared for." Tim replied as he continued typing on the Bat Computer. Damian nodded.
“Yes, and so I have decided that I shall accompany them on this journey."
"Damian, no." his older brothers said at the same time. Damian scowled.
"Why not? I am plenty capable of-
"Because people would get suspicious if Batman suddenly didn't have a Robin," Dick answered, strolling towards the younger boy. "That's why Jason, Tim, and Stephanie are going. They won't be missed," He gave Tim a nervous look. "No offense."
"None taken," Tim replied, waving his hand. "Sorry Damian, you'd just get in the way."
"But I have died before!" Damian huffed, his hands clenching into fists. "That combined with my skills- which are far greater than yours, Drake, I might add -makes me much more qualified than you."
"Little D, dude, I just told you," Dick ruffled his younger brother's hair. "It'll be suspicious if you're gone. And besides, I need you. We're a great team."
"But my father is in there-"
"Master Damian-" their butler, Alfred Pennyworth, interrupted the trio's squabbling. "You won't be going anywhere until your homework is done."
"Homework? Finding my father is much more important than an essay on why the Roman empire fe-"
"Master Damian." Alfred repeated in a low tone. "Now."
Damian scowled as he trudged up the stairs. It didn't matter how tough the person was. When Alfred told you to do something, you do it. "I will be going with you, Drake!" he called behind his shoulder. "I promise you that!"
Dick and Tim exchanged a glance and rolled their eyes.
"Children."
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Superpower
Bucky x Reader
Words: ~4,300
Summary: Bucky has an infatuation with The Incredibles that he might be taking too far. It takes some stern words from you to help him figure that out.
Warnings: A bit of angst, but also fluff, too
A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading and showing so much love to my last fic so much! I hope you all enjoy this one just as much. I like to write based off of little pieces of inspiration, so this time it was a tweet from Dr. Thema on Twitter and a response by Ashley C. Ford. I bolded both quotes since the quote-block format I usually use doesn’t fit right here!
...
“Super-strength is a superpower.”
“I never said it wasn’t. I was saying that you don’t have it.”
Bucky scoffs and folds his arms across his broad chest. In this moment it was hard to tell if he was puffing it out on purpose or if he had been putting in extra reps in the gym. Probably both, you decide. “Please, (Y/N), we just watched The Incredibles. We both know that I am literally Mr. Incredible.”
You couldn’t stifle your laugh. Two months ago, Bucky decided to catch up on all the movies he missed over the past seventy years. It took years to finally understand the internet, modern technology, and Wi-Fi (to be fair, you still aren’t exactly sure how that last one works, but you got the point across just fine). While Bucky had seen the basic movies: classic, old-timey movies, it was time to focus on the more enjoyable movies: kid movies. You watched Wall-E, making sure to explain the implications of that movie, Up, obviously you both cried, and Lilo & Stitch, an underrated classic.
Last night, in preparation for this mission, you’d insisted in watching The Incredibles. You thought it would hype him up for the tropical mission Steve was bringing him (and Sam) along on. And boy oh boy you were spot on. It had been twelve hours of nonstop Incredibles talk.
The night before, you two were snuggled up on the couch, mountains of blankets on top of you, bowls of popcorn and candy littered around you. Bucky’s arm slid around your back and you used the crook of his shoulder as a pillow. “What is going on here,” Bucky muttered to himself, squinting at the screen as the beginning of the movie started, Mr. Incredible fumbling around with his microphone.
You grinned in anticipation, wrapping your arms around his torso, pulling yourself closer to him. “Isn’t it so cute?” You said into his chest.
Bucky shoves his mouth full of popcorn, laughing loudly at Frozen talking about babes and Mr. Incredible ranting about the world in jeopardy. You didn’t think that he’d be laughing this much already (you know it’s a cinematic masterpiece, but still); maybe this movie was just that relatable. Although you were just a desk jockey in the Avengers tower, you knew they were always off saving the world and sacrificing themselves to do so.
It was safe to say that Bucky clearly enjoyed the movie – it just felt so realistic to him. The next morning, he spent breakfast rambling on about the fact that Syndrome literally lived in a volcano; how could Mr. Incredible not know? Tony brought up the point that Hydra set up camp in the exact opposite climate, so Bucky should cut the animators some slack. Bucky was not having it. “Aren’t you technically Edna Mode?” He rhetorically asked Tony with a deadpan stare.
Tony scoffed, holding a hand over his heart to feign hurt, before returning the glare to Bucky. “Remind me to talk to you about your hobo suit later.” With that, he left the kitchen, strutting down the hall, followed with him yelling: “no capes!” as Thor walked past him, the god raising his eyebrows in confusion.
Later that night, Bucky had to leave for a mission. You’d spent the afternoon in Bucky’s bed with each other, holding one another close; and where you tried to have some light pillowtalk, it ended up being about The Incredibles II after he got back. The two of you ended up in the shower to wash off the afternoon workout. While you were wrapped up in a robe, brushing your post-shower hair in the mirror, Bucky popped up behind you with just a towel around his waist. “Honey, have you seen my super-suit?” You could only roll your eyes and smile in response.
“Well if you’re Mr. Incredible, then I’m Mrs. Incredible.” You took a step closer to him, closing the space between you such that your chests are touching.
He wrapped his arms around your waist, dangerously close to the hem of your jeans. “I know,” he smiled, leaning forward to give you a kiss. “Those moves earlier? You’re even more flexible than her.”
“Cut it out, lovebirds,” Sam interrupted, his tone playful. “We don’t need a live show.”
Bucky drops his hands and leads you towards the hangar to where the jet was waiting. “All I’m saying is that I could definitely lift one of those train cars like he does. I could do more than one – ” he cuts himself off, stopping in his tracks. “(Y/N), I could juggle them.”
“Sure,” you hum, hooking your arm around his back and leaning into his side. “Although, when you think about it, you might be more of a cyborg than Mr. Incredibles, y’know?”
He groans, dropping his head and shutting his eyes. “But I don’t wanna be a cyborg.”
“We’ll watch Teen Titans then see how you feel.”
“Teen what?” He turned to stare blankly at you.
“Forget it, I’ll show you when you get back.” You smiled warmly up at him before he pulled you into a bear hug.
He kissed the top of your head and murmured “I love you” before pulling away.
“Love you, too, baby,” you responded softly. You sent him away with Steve and Sam, telling all of them to be safe before watching the jet take off.
With a sigh, you turned on your heel, seeing yourself out of the compound, heading back to your apartment. The streets of New York were busy despite the cold weather outside. Early November had its benefits: the streets were lined with orange, red, and brown as the trees were ready to shed their summer colors; but it also had its drawbacks: the streets were cold, and you could see your breath outside. You pulled your jacket tighter around you, pulling the collar closer around your exposed neck. If Bucky were here you already know he would’ve wrapped you up in his own coat to keep you warm, he would’ve held your hands in his own warm ones and nuzzled his nose against your own red nose. He was actually very sappy, when it came down to it. He was a sucker for you – constantly having to have his hands on you, make sure you were always warm.
You finished the thirty-minute walk to your apartment, taking your time to appreciate the fall scenery around you, glancing at all the Thanksgiving-soon-to-be-Christmas window displays, and enjoying the pumpkin scents around every corner. Pushing your door open, you were met with the warm heat and smell of the chrysanthemums Bucky had given you earlier that week. You tossed your keys to the side, shrugged your jacket off, and made a big mugful of hot chocolate.
You plopped down by the window and leaned your head on the glass, letting the steam from your drink warm your cheeks. You’d wondered in that moment where Bucky would be going exactly. He did mention it would be a tropical/forest vibe; the only thing you knew about that is that it’d be humid. Although you knew of Bucky’s disdain for cold, he wasn’t much of a fan of heat, either. He was much more of an autumn guy. You made a mental note to go for a walk through Central Park with him when he gets back.
He’d been gone for six days. Today was Thursday and you’d been stuck at your desk all morning. It hurt a little bit to have to walk to the Avenger’s Tower everyday without Bucky meeting you at the door (or Bucky walking with you to work, having spent the night before at your place) but you had to make do – paperwork needed to be completed.
Your eyes were aching from staring at your computer screen and your hand was cramping from all the scribbling you’ve been doing all day. The alternative was a coffee break in the café on the first floor – and you know what? Anything sounded better than work at the moment. You pop a post-it note on the door telling anyone looking for you that you’ll be back in ten. You make it to the elevator and straighten out your skirt as you stare at yourself in the reflection of the doors. Skirt a little wrinkled – nothing you can’t fix quickly in the elevator – button up shirt tucked in smartly, heels that made your feet ache, reading glasses that usually sit perched on your nose now shifted to sit on the top of your head, keeping your hair away from your face.
Despite how put-together you may look, you were exhausted and quite frankly, defeated. Not only was work kicking your ass lately but combined with the fact that Bucky was gone, and you hadn’t heard from him nearly wrecked you. Normally, he’d not take more than a day or two to reach out: a call or text simply to say he’s okay. You had to tell yourself that there was terrible reception wherever he was. That was going well for you, until you ran into Wanda one day on the elevator.
“Hey, (Y/N),” she greeted kindly, smiling wide as you entered the elevator next to her.
“Hi, Wanda, how have you been?” You responded. You’ve hung out with the Avengers at times. Usually your time with Bucky consisted of just the two of you, but sometimes you got the go-ahead to join their events and movie nights. Everyone welcomed you with open arms because not only was your personality so winning, but also you were the girl that brought Bucky out of his shell – in Sam’s words: “you made him sociable.”
“Good! It’s been busy around the complex, I’m sure you know already.” You’re not sure if she’s saying that because she’s aware of the pile of paperwork you’ve been working on for ages or if she can feel exhaustion radiating off your body.
“Yeah, you guys have given me a whole lot of paperwork,” you say, trying to give a hearty chuckle before awkwardly scratching the back of your neck.
She nods and hums in response. “The boys have been busy,” she responds casually.
You bite your lip before taking a deep breath and nodding in affirmation. “I haven’t heard from Bucky lately, so I’d imagine so.”
She shrugs – again so casually. Can she not feel the fact you’re about to freak out right now? “Actually, nobody’s heard from any of them.” How did she just end that sentence like that? Nobody’s heard from them. Not with any of this trillion-dollar equipment – it can’t connect them one continent away? She senses your panic; there’s a change in your breathing and you eyes go wide, staring now directly at the floor. “(Y/N), no. I mean – they’re fine. Just because they haven’t said anything doesn’t mean – ”
The elevator dings and opens to your floor. You politely hold up your hand to her and smile. “I get what you’re saying, Wanda. Thanks for keeping me updated.” You shuffle out the door, calling out for her to have a good day.
You make it back to your office and don’t even try to stifle your loud sigh as you plop into your chair. Fuck.
So, it was sufficed to say you hadn’t slept very well since that interaction. It’s been three nights since she’s told you they were basically M.I.A.; you spent your nights rolling around in bed, holding his pillow to your chest, constantly checking your phone for any kind of notification from Bucky. Without hearing from him, you didn’t know how long he’d be gone; without hearing from him, you didn’t know if he was even okay. Screw your sleeping schedule, you just needed to make sure he was even alive.
You make your way back to your office, taking a sip of the piping hot coffee and as you swing the corner you hit a brick wall.
And there was a brick wall standing in the middle of the hallway.
You gaze up at the man, blue eyes staring directly into your own. He’s breathing a little fast, especially for someone who had been standing in front of your office door, staring at the post-it note for quite some time. His hands were shoved in his pockets, shoulders a little hunched – he was nervous; something was wrong.
Very wrong.
It wasn’t even until his hand reached out to you, stopping in mid-air in front of your shirt before you noticed the coffee that spilt down the front of your shirt. It was warm, sure, but your racing heart took precedence over the splash of liquid that coated your black shirt. “Sorry, (Y/N), I – ”
“It’s fine. When did you get back?” You don’t care about the coffee; you barely even felt it. You shifted the weight between your feet, squeezing the coffee cup in your hand. Why were you so nervous? There was so much tension in the air. Just staring at him as he waited patiently for you to return from your coffee run. Neither of you knowing what to say. Its like you were strangers.
He runs a hand through his hair, huffing out a deep breath. He was actually still in uniform; you didn’t notice until you asked that question. His face was grimy, slick with sweat and remnants of mud and maybe even some flecks of blood if you squint. He then scratched at the stubble gracing his chin. “Just now.” He still can’t breathe. How was he supposed to tell you? You were certainly going to kill him when you found out.
He didn’t know what to say. He was thinking about this the whole plane ride home, the whole walk to your office, the whole ten agonizingly long minutes he’d spent waiting outside your office. But now, looking into your curiously wide eyes, glazed over with concern – you were basically paralyzed in fear; if it weren’t for your incessant shifting. It was almost driving him crazy to look at someone who is about to jump out of their skin with fear, yet unsure of what move to make or what to say. “Where is he?”
And Steve swallowed hard. “He’s okay.” You stared straight into his soul. “Well, he’s – ”
“Steve.”
“He’s alive. He got shot. A couple times.” Each fragment that left his mouth was punctuated by the prompt shutting of his mouth. It was important to him to stop himself from saying too much. Your mouth actually dropped open. There was nothing left for you to say, but your jaw dropped. He reached out and took hold of your arms in his hands. “He’s alive,” he repeated, the words not resonating in your brain (and he could see that). “He’s in med-bay. (Y/N), he is fine.” He didn’t think he could be any clearer.
Nothing made sense. You felt as though you were asked to complete a 100-piece puzzle with only three-pieces. You were struggling to comprehend anything that came out of Steve’s mouth. Instead, you sharply turned on your heel. You were calm – this cannot be emphasized enough – you walked with your shoulders pulled back and gaze straight ahead; but you weren’t looking at anything, simply following your own muscle memory on your way to the med-bay.
Steve chased after you – he walked behind you, taking long strides as to not overtake you. He kept saying your name, telling you to calm down, but you already were. Except your heart was thumping out of your chest. You couldn’t even form any more questions for Steve. Obviously: “where was he shot” was a glaring question, “how close to death was he” is another; you can’t even put those words together right now.
You shove open the doors to med-bay, blatant disregard for the coffee still in your hand, splashing now-tepid liquid again on your shirt and sleeve. That’s when you see him: sprawled out on a cot that’s too small for him; his boots hung off the end of the bed, dry mud caked to the bottom of his heavy boots, flaking onto the floor. As soon as you’d shoved the door open, Steve following you in toe, Bucky’s head lifted towards you. He actually grinned.
You’d nearly fainted. His face was littered with cuts and scrapes, dirt around each wound scrubbed away by the doctor then coated in slick, clear antibiotic. His shirt was long gone, leaving him in his combat boots still riddled with weapons (visibly and concealed, you could only assume) and his dirty boots. His chest was completely bandaged; he was grateful you’d walked in after he’d already been covered because he knew that he’d be hearing an earful from you if you’d actually been able to see the damage. This way, you’d only be able to see the wounds to change the dressing probably hours from now. His body would be nearly healed.
“James.” It was stern. You weren’t mad, per say; you couldn’t be mad – you were glad he was even alive. You didn’t know why your tone was so harsh; you were pissed that he was shot, probably due to some heroic act of saving one of his teammates, or maybe he was just being careless? You didn’t know and you didn’t want to find out – they’d never tell you which it was, anyway.
“Hey, doll,” he says casually, already trying to schmooze his way back on your good side.
“James.” This time you breathed his name, finally getting close enough to put your hands on his chest – fingertips ghosting off the edge of the gauze, where the bandage met his collarbone. He took both your hands in his, pulling them together and placing them tenderly over his heart. There must have been six layers of gauze over him – not a speck of dirt or blood poking through.
“Baby, look at me,” he whispered. You flicked your eyes up to his worried ones. His eyebrows were drawn together, mouth pressed into a firm line. “I’m fine.”
“James,” you sobbed, tears that were once held at bay now falling freely down your cheeks and falling onto his pants. You choked back any more words, nodding furiously as you found it hard to breath. He pulled your arms and yanked you to the bed and now you were sitting beside him, his hands now cupping the back of your neck, cradling your head against where his neck meets his collarbone. He cooed softly into your hair, whispering sweet nothings as he rubbed your back up and down.
“I’m okay,” he murmured. And all you could do was nod against his skin, crying more and more as he pressed each kiss onto your head.
It was probably ten minutes of crying before you calmed down, now laying against him in silence, your eyes shut resting against his shoulder. “You know,” he whispered, pulling you from silence. “I always love seeing you in your work clothes. All smart and sexy.” You couldn’t help but breathe out a laugh, snuggling further into him. “But you smell like coffee.”
Bucky was barred from missions for three months. And while he was physically healed within a week and a half, Steve wasn’t so sure about his mental state – and you weren’t so sure either. Actually, it had been a more than pleasant three months. He started off doing physical therapy once a day, then adding in workouts and phasing out the therapy. This occupied maybe four hours per day. That meant that the rest of his free time he spent in your office, at your apartment, and in your bed.
That would be fine with you if you could confidently say that Bucky was one hundred percent okay.
Most of the time, he’d spend all day next to you being a total chatterbox – actually, he any willing conversation he had would be about the book you were reading, that one episode of friends the two of you watched last night, rambling on remodels of his place and if he should paint his dresser. It was the unwilling conversations that he had that concerned you.
The words he’d mumble to himself as he rolled around in your bed having a nightmare. Every time, you’d spend five minutes trying to wake him up. At first you started out by nudging him awake, it developed to the state that now you had to fully grab his arm and shake him wildly to get him up. You’d sit there, pulling your hands through his hair, whispering sweet nothings until he calmed down. Every time, you’d ask him if he wanted to talk about it; he’d say now. You then asked him to tell you – you pleaded for him to let you into that side of his life. You begged to understand and cried for him – with him.
It was no different tonight.
If he wouldn’t talk, then you would. “Baby, you can’t keep doing this.” He sat up in bed, sheets twisted around his legs, leaning over with his back pressed into the iron-rung headboard. It was cool against his hot skin – the only thing making it semibearable as the bars pressed into the tight muscles in his back. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. It’s not good for you.”
He didn’t say anything. He stared straight in front of him, his hands clasped over one another on his lap. You held one of his forearms in both hands, dragging your fingers in light patterns softly over his skin. You continue pleading with him: “you can tell me anything. Please, I hope you understand that.”
With this, he peers up at you with sorrow filled eyes. You can barely see them in the dark. “I know I can. It’s not a big deal, though. Nothing for you to worry about.”
You drop his arm in frustration, instead bringing your hands up to your hair and gripping it tightly, feeling like pulling your hair out might be a better option than bringing this conversation where it needs to go. “You have these nightmares every night, James. It’s only getting worse. I can tell that you’re hurting, and it hurts me to see you like that. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, I can see that somethings wrong.”
He shrugs. “I can take it. Look, I’m sorry if I keep waking you up. I won’t stay over anymore.” He turns his head sheepishly towards his lap again, shoulders hunching forward. You know he thinks it’s a joke; he’s putting on an act. He wants you to curl up to his side, beg him to stay, make-out, have sex to take his mind off it, and fall asleep peacefully. You know because you’ve done it before. Multiple times.
God, he can be so annoying. “James.” Your stern tone had returned, you dropped your hands out of your hair and let them fall heavily on your lap. “A history of trauma can give you a high tolerance for emotional pain. Just because you can take it doesn’t mean you have to.”
He wasn’t sure what to do in that moment. There was nothing to say – nothing he could say. There wasn’t anything he could follow that up with; not a joke, not a sound, not even an intelligent sentence. He instead stared down at his hands, not even moving a muscle, not even to blink.
You were calm once again. You knew that your words had finally gotten through to him. Your relationship was strong: you’d built an emotional connection such that you two could be in the middle of the most serious discussions and still be able to crack a joke. But the both of you knew this wasn’t the time. That’s why he still hadn’t said anything: he didn’t have a smartass response, nor a comment he could make to get out of this one.
“Suffering is not a superpower.”
And with those final words, Bucky broke, his face contorting in pain, eyes squeezing shut and mouth falling into an open frown. His shoulders shook slowly as he struggled to breath, holding his face in his hands. You couldn’t sit idly by, so you grabbed his hands and swung a leg over him, sitting on his lap and wrapping his arms around your waist so he had something to hold on to; his arms wrapped tighter around you as his head dropped to the front of your chest, quietly sobbing into your shirt. You secured your arms around him, looping them over his shoulders and around his neck.
You sat there absorbing his tears, not saying a word, not even whispering a small “shh.” It was about time he let his emotions out and you weren’t about to cut him off now. You’d spent every waking moment with him (save for his workouts and physical therapy) so you knew how long this emotional release had been building up inside of him. Every once and a while everyone needs a good cry – Bucky hadn’t had one in years.
You didn’t know how long the two of you sat there. His sobs turned into quiet sniffles turned into calm, steady breathing. You knew this conversation was far from over. He needed therapy, or at the least needed to vent to you more often. Whatever solution you two would come up with could wait until the morning. Right now, he needed rest, he needed tranquility.
You didn’t know if he was asleep, and hell, you, yourself, were almost asleep. It wasn’t until he broke the silence when you got your answer. “Can we watch The Incredibles II?”
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n-ctarinenga · 4 years
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Flower Boy [ boxer!calum ]
flower boy series | pt.1 | word count: 5,659 | masterlist
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"Thank you so much! I'll have these to you as soon as possible. Goodbye!"
Talia grins, as she farewells the family whos portraits she had just finished shooting.
As much as she loves photography, there were only so many matching outfits and unhappy children a person could handle in a day, and with the family that had just left her studio, Talia had reached her limit.
Draining days were something she had gotten used to, business booming lately thanks to the kind words of a handful of past clients. With doors only opening just under a year ago, Valentine Studios didn't exactly have the longest history in town, but Talia liked to believe her dedication and skill made up for lack of experience.
Her mother hadn't really approved of the move, her ideals for her daughter being stuck a few decades in the past.
With the thought of her mother flashing through her mind, Talia couldn't help but sigh as she moved to pack up her camera for the night.
After the great disbandment of the Alisley family, it was nearly impossible for either of the Alisley children to communicate with their mother, but that didn't stop Yvonne from making her annual call to her kids, mostly about the percentage paid out to them every couple weeks from their father's estate royalties, which in Talia's case, was this morning.
From that point onward, it felt like the universe had decided to torment Talia today.
Starting off with the phone call, and most recently manifesting as a set of twins who refused to do any form of posing with their parents, Talia couldn't wait to go home and sleep so she could start the next day fresh and away from the negative vibes of the current day.
Once her backdrops had been rolled up,  and her camera was safely stored in its bag, Talia finally had time to let down her dark brown hair, the two bright streaks of red framing her face. She took great pleasure in turning all the lights off, and locking the door of the studio behind her.
Taking a second to relax in her car, Talia looks at her phone, scrolling through til she reaches the contact of her brother, Brandon.
The Alisley family were estranged from each other these days, but that didn't mean that Talia and Brandon had stopped being lifelong best friends.
The two had always been close, only a couple years between the siblings. Growing up in a world surrounded by adults until they themselves were well into their teens, they were practically a package deal until they had both moved into their own apartments a few years ago.
As of late, while Talia was diving head first into Valentine, Brandon was knee deep in The Vault, the gym he had started not long before Talia opened her own business.
Sitting in her car, Talia contemplated calling him for a moment, her finger hovering over the call button as she thought.
With both of them being so busy, they had barely had time to catch up over the last couple months, and after the day she had had today, Talia needed a bit of chill time with the only other person in the world who could understand her situation.
Their father always joked they could communicate telepathically, and after not seeing him for so long, Talia missed speaking her native tongue.
Deciding to make her way over to the gym, Brandon always telling her he was there any Friday night she would try to make plans with him lately, Talia constructed a plan for what she would do once she finally had convinced her brother to stop throwing himself into his work every Friday night.
With The Vault situated downtown, it was a bit of a drive in Los Angeles traffic, but with the thought of the Thai food just up the street from the gym in her mind, Talia couldn't find it in herself to care about the lengthy journey.
The radio softly played one of the many playlists made on Talia's phone as she drove along, windows down and the breeze lightly whipping her hair around as she did her best to relax while she had the chance.
While most people were finishing their work week, Talia, being the head photographer at Valentine, was still one day away from her own weekend, working every Saturday since the studio opened. This made it easier for families to get together for their shoots, not having to worry about getting back to work and getting the kids back to school, and Talia could tell her clients appreciated it, which made the extra day of work worth it to her.
Propping her head up, with her left elbow resting on the top of the door, Talia can't help the frown that flashes onto her face as she approaches the gym.
Expecting to see only Brandon's car and maybe another employee's, the full parking lot beside the building confuses her. How many people would be at a gym after hours?
The confused frown on Talia's face lingers as she parks her car next one she definitely recognised as Brandon's, climbing out and locking it before pocketing her keys and approaching a man who looked slightly familiar, noticing he was one of Brandon's employees as she got closer.
"Johnny," Talia smiles politely, the man turning to her with wide eyes as he recognizes her, "what's happening here?" She asks.
Johnny stutters for a moment, looking around like he rather be anywhere else in the world at this exact moment.
"Oh, here? Just some regulars here for a get together. Your brother left a few hours back though." He says quickly, tripping over his words slightly, almost like he was making a story up as he went along.
Suspicion courses through Talia at the deflective words of the man much taller than she is, and if she didn't already know him, she probably would have been intimidated by his size alone.
"I just parked next to his car though, and it's kinda odd for Brandon to leave the gym open." Talia laughs awkwardly, not trusting of the excuse she was being given when she knew her brother better than to leave not only his business open, but also his car unlocked outside it.
"I think I'll just check things out for myself thanks Johnny." Talia states, before taking a step forward towards the entrance.
Sensing her disbelief, and his face turning to one of panic, Johnny takes a step sideways, blocking the door from Talia's path.
"Brandon said that you were banned from Friday nights. I'm sorry Talia." He finally says, and Talia can't help the look of surprise that covers her face.
"Me? Banned from the Vault? I hardly think so mate." She laughs, taking advantage of the height difference between them to duck under Johnny's arm, easily pushing the door open into the gym.
Immediately, Talia is met with a wall of noise.
A crowd, some seated, some not, surround the central boxing ring at the center of the building. The usual smell of cleaning supplies and sweat is amplified by the stench of beer radiating through the whole building, but even then, the thing that grabs Talia's attention isn't the crowd or their behavior, but instead, what they're watching.
In the center of the ring, two large, well built men circle each other. Talia watches on in horror for only a moment before one man launches his fist forward towards the others stomach, and it's in this moment she realizes that the men aren't wearing gloves, but thin bloodied wraps.
The crowd roar with a wave of life as the punch connects, the second man doubling over and leaving himself exposed to an onslaught the first delivers without hesitation.
Even with the presence of Johnny behind her, the only thing Talia can see is the pure violence playing out in front of her, realization growing by the second as her eyes finally break away from the ring to where her brother stands at the back of the crowd.
She can't help but think her father might have been right about the telepathy, because almost as if he could sense her eyes on him, Brandon's own find her.
All of the colour drains from Brandon's face as he excuses himself from the black haired man he's talking to, running around the outside of the crowd to reach his sister, who stands frozen in place.
He says nothing as he grabs Talia's hand, pulling her sideways into the office room to the right of the building, easily tugging her past the back of the crowd that still stare focused into the ring.
The clinical white lights above them come to life as Brandon flicks the switch beside the door, shutting it behind him quickly before he turns back to Talia.
"What are you doing here?" He asks quickly, inspecting her as if she was a wounded animal ready to pounce.
Fighting her disbelief at the situation and his question, Talia's eyes go wide as a wave of anger washes over her at his question.
"What am I doing here? What the fuck is that shit, Brandon?!" She throws back at him, her voice louder and stronger than she expected it to come out of her.
Waving his hands panicked, trying to get her to lower her voice, Brandon tries to shush her, which only makes her more ticked off.
"Look you weren't supposed to see that-"
"Answer my fucking question or I'll start screamin' it." She threatens, cutting him off mid sentence.
An angry and frustrated expression settles on his face as Brandon let's out a huff, not knowing how to word his explanation and remaining silent while he tries to find the right words.
"Is this why you've been blowing me off for months? You got some fucking fight club bullshit going on here instead?" She questions further, her voice breaking slightly with stress.
"I can't tell you all the fucking details in one breath, Talia. I wasn't exactly expecting you to find out like this."
Brandon argues, throwing his hand up in annoyance, which only confuses her more.
"What makes you think you have the right to be angry at me when you're the one that has the explaining to do?"
"Fuck! Alright! I get it!" He whisper yells harshly, face twisting in anger and making the siblings look even more alike than usual, Talia taking a step back at his sudden outburst, "look, the money is gonna get cut off one day, I'm thinking about my future, OUR futures here. That's what this shit is about."
"And what exactly is this shit, Brandon?" Talia asks, aggressively pointing towards the door that barely separated them from the crowd.
"It's boxing. Same shit you see on TV, just, not as commercial."
"This isn't the same shit as on TV! Those guys aren't even wearing gloves!" She argues, smacking the back of her hand as she speaks.
"Bare knuckle and wraps get better bets, the guys make their own decisions on if they do it or not." Brandon defends as he crosses his arms.
Talia shakes her head in annoyance, her face twisting. Everything was happening so quickly, meaning she barely had enough time to process all the information being thrown at her.
"You're scared of mommy cutting off the royalties so this is what you do instead?" She asks.
"The money is gonna get cut off and it's gonna be sooner rather than later. Do you expect me to suck up forever? To hide Sam til she dies too? Mom hates both of us now and you know it just as well as I do."
Talia feels her throat tighten at his words. Her stomach felt like it was close to emptying its content as the gut punch of his words hit her at a hundred miles per hour.
"Shut the fuck up. You know I love Sam and you know I don't want to do it just as much as you don't want to. But you're right, it will be sooner if she finds out about this." She spits back.
Taking a step towards him, arms crossed, Talia holds steady eye contact as she looks up to her brother.
"You're not the only one she can fuck over. When she finds out and cuts me off too, what the fuck are we gonna do, huh?" She whispers harshly as the crowd outside the room bursts into life again, the next round starting.
Brandon breaks the eye contact between them as he stares at the ground, fists clenched at his sides as the obvious stress of the situation flashes across his face.
"She won't, not yet."
Talia rolls her eyes as her arms uncross, leaning back against his desk.
"Mom always finds out."
"She won't this ti-"
Brandon is interrupted by the office door swinging open, a tall man with blonde hair and a panicked look on his face ignoring Talia to address Brandon the second his eyes land on him.
"Hood's broken Knight's nose." He says in a rush, causing Brandon to groan, following the man out the door before turning back to Talia.
"Don't leave this office, I'll be back soon."
Talia throws her brother a sarcastic thumbs up before he rushes off, the door clicking shut behind him.
Talia felt like her mind was in the worst spin she'd ever experienced. Finally the late nights, the astronomical bills being excused as gym costs, the secrets, they all made sense.
As angry as she was with her brother, she was more worried about him than anything.
Seeing the crowd, the action in the ring, it was more than just the sparring she would see from time to time as she made the rounds to check in on things. These people were out for blood, and would throw as much money as they needed at it to make it happen. This wasn't the kind of thing she ever expected Brandon to be involved in, and it shocked her that he's involved in that world obviously as more than just a spectator.
Sitting down in the office chair, Talia rests her elbows on the desk in front of her, covering her face with her hands as she tries to take a deep breath to calm her nerves, but jumping as the crowd outside roars again.
This wasn't something she was familiar with, and the uncharted territory this laid out in front of her felt like a minefield. Both her brother's lies, and the violence they were hiding.
With her anxiety peaking as she sits deep in her thoughts, she nearly yelps as the office door flies open, a tall man coming in and looking around for someone, before their eyes finally land on Talia.
If the sharp jawline, dark eyes and deadly look on his face didn't take her breath away, the ripped and bruised skin under his eye sure did.
A seemingly permanent scowl was set on the man's face, and his height and all black outfit just added to the intimidating stance he has as he lets the door swing shut behind him.
Talia couldn't help but notice that the man is attractive, even with blood dripping down his face, noticing his hair closely cropped to his head, apart from the wild bleached curls that fell onto his forehead.
For a brief moment, the angry look on the man's face softens upon seeing the smaller woman sitting behind his boss's desk, but it's instantly replaced by a look of confusion.
"Who the fuck are you?" He asks, his voice deeper than she expected with an unfamiliar accent laced into his words.
Slightly taken back, Talia frowns, withdrawing from the desk and standing up behind it, her defensive nature quickly taking over.
"I'm Talia Alisley, who the fuck are you?"
This time it's the man that's taken back, his eyebrows shooting up as he scoffs, arrogance in spades and tension building by the second as Talia crosses her arms in front of herself.
"I'm Calum Hood," He says, and Talia freezes.
Hood. Was he the Hood that the blonde man was talking about? The one who apparently had broken the nose of the guy Brandon was checking on?
"and I'm guessing you're the precious little sister." He comments, and this time it's Talia that raises her eyebrow. Did Brandon mention her to these guys?
"Too right I am, so don't fuck with me and we should be fine. Brandon said he'd be back soon." She replies, sitting back down with her arms still crossed and the scowl on her face settling in while in his presence.
Deep down, Talia knew it was probably a bad idea to piss off the guy who was not only bleeding, but the cause of a broke nose two rooms over, but her pride and defensive nature was far more powerful than the anxiety swirling in her stomach.
"No need to worry about that, princess." Calum rolls his eyes in annoyance. If Brandon was gonna send him to his office, he could at least show up instead of wasting his time, and give him a warning.
Talia was thankful in that moment for the low light of the room on account of the desk lamp being off, hiding the blush that made her ears burn. Yeah, he might be a dickhead, but he was still an attractive dickhead.
Slumping down into the chair opposite Talia with a huff, Calum shakes his head, while Talia stays stone faced across from him.
"You alright?" She asks after a moment, referring to where blood still sits on his cheekbone.
Calum frowns at her attitude change, not aware of the injury that he sustained from Knight's ringed hand landing a right hook before Calum landed his own.
In his defense, Knight should have known better than to touch his gear.
With the confused look flashing across his face for a longer period this time, Talia can't help but roll her eyes.
"You're bleeding under your eye, bro." She points out.
As Calum reaches up to touch his cheek, the door opens, the blonde man from before walking in with Brandon in toe as Talia thanks her lucky stars.
"Not gonna lie I thought you would have left by now." Brandon says, looking at Talia first while her eyes stay on the actions of the blonde man opening a medical kit on the desk.
"Oh don't worry, I want to." She comments.
"So do I, can I go now?" Calum directs towards Brandon as the blonde man touches an alcohol wipe to his cheek, making his aggressive expression falter slightly.
"Once Luke says you're okay and once I've dealt with you, yes." He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.
"Look," Talia says, standing up and holding her hands up in surrender, "obviously you've got a lot of shit going on here right now so we'll deal with this tomorrow." She gestures between them, walking around the desk and past the three men.
Letting out a sigh, Brandon sends her a look of appreciation.
"Thanks T, text me when you get home." He replies, to which she sends him a short nod.
"Luke, can you walk her out?" He asks, turning to the man getting up from kneeling in front of Calum.
"Yeah, no worries." He smiles, taking his gloves off and throwing them in the bin.
Walking out the door with Luke, Talia winces at the loudness of the crowd, thankful for the taller, now calm, man standing between them and herself.
"I'm Luke, by the way." He smiles kindly, holding his hand out for Talia to shake as they make it to the door.
"Talia. Gotta be honest, I wish this was under better circumstances." She smiles tightly back at him, shaking his hand.
"Yeah," he laughs, "me too."
As they make it outside, Talia leads Luke around the building to where her car sits, right next to Brandon's.
"Well, this is me."  She says, signalling to her car with the keys in her hand. "Thanks for walking me past all of that."
"No problem. Drive safe." Luke says with a small wave to her, and she gives him an appreciative smile.
"You too. See you 'round, Luke."
Climbing into her car, Talia sighs, relaxing only slightly in the familiar surroundings.
As she pulls away from the curb, Luke sends her a final wave before walking back into the gym.
Driving away, the adrenaline of the situation starts to wear off, and the reality of the situation starts to sink in.
"God, I'm gonna fucking kill him." Talia mutters to herself, turning the radio up and going over the night's events in her head as she drives back to her apartment.
The next morning, Talia awakes with a rock of dread weighing down her stomach.
Her mind immediately flashes back to the events of the night before, and as she showers, gets dressed and locks her apartment door, it almost felt like she wore the dread of the impending conversation she needed to have with her brother as a scarf tied too tightly around her neck.
Instead of heading straight to the studio and editing the photos of the last few days as usual, Talia instead took a deep breath as she started heading back towards Vault, having a couple hours to hopefully get answers before her first clients for the day were set to arrive at eleven.
The parking lot beside Vault sat a lot emptier today. Only a handful of cars sprinkled around, and just like last night, Talia pulls into the space beside Brandon's car.
Taking a moment before walking in, Talia leans back in her seat, closing her eyes.
She was scared. Of Brandon's explanation, of possibly having to accept whatever the fuck she had witnessed last night, of walking out more confused than she was about to walk in.
Her and Brandon had grown up play fighting, and catching an odd round or two when their dad decided to watch Friday Fight Night, but violence had never really been part of their lives in a physical form. Apart from a questionable wrestling phase when she was 14, Talia couldn't even remember the last time she saw two people in a ring together that wasn't casual sparring when she would frequent the gym in its early days.
None of it compared to what she saw last night.
With what happened still fresh in her mind, Talia climbs out of her car, pushing the door shut behind her.
Johnny doesn't stand by the entrance this morning, meaning Talia easily walks into the gym, the door squeaking slightly in protest as she pushes it open.
It's almost like nothing had even happened. All the equipment that was pushed against a wall last night now sits in its normal place, the shelves of alcohol behind the check in desk now stocked with protein powders like less than twelve hours ago the counter wasn't a very convincing bar.
Hearing her come in the door, a couple people look up from what they're doing, sending Talia a polite smile before returning to their work.
Calum Hood is not one of these people.
Almost like the universe had put a glowing neon sign over his head, Talia's eyes instantly wander towards where Calum stands next to the black haired man she recognized as the same person Brandon was talking to last night when she arrived.
Noticing her too, Calum’s encouragement of his best friend is interrupted by his eyes catching a flash of blue hair in his peripheral vision.
While he knew any animosity towards the woman who could probably have him fired with a few fake tears was a bad idea to hold onto, he couldn't help but feel annoyed upon seeing her in what he thought of as his domain.
Face settling into a frown as she looks across the room to the man who easily got on her nerves last night, Talia almost doesn't notice Brandon coming up behind her.
"Hey." He greets quietly, holding a takeaway cup of coffee out to his sister. "Time for that talk, huh?"
"Yeah. Think so." She takes the coffee with a nod of thanks, and hesitantly follows him to his office.
Talia couldn't tell if Brandon was trying to suck up to her with free coffee, but after sitting down at the chair in front of his desk and taking a sip, tasting vanilla latte, she knows he is.
"So, where should we start?" He asks, settling into his seat with a heavy sigh.
Talia scoffs lightly, raising her eyebrow.
"The beginning would be good."
Brandon nods, looking down at his desk to avoid meeting her eyes.
"The fights started around one, maybe two months after we opened, so we've been hosting them for about fourteen months now."
Talia's eyes go wide, disbelief covering her face as she places her cup on his desk forcefully.
"You're telling me you've been hiding this shit for over a year?" She asks, anger already starting to build.
"Yeah, and if you haven't fucking noticed, it's not been the easiest thing to do." He snaps, before holding his hands up, taking a deep breath and rolling his seat back slightly to calm himself, too much tension already in the air.
Talia bites her tongue, looking down at her hands before she signals to him to continue.
"A friend of mine, Ashton, he was part of an illegal boxing league running out of a rundown place up in Hollywood. I saw him fight there a couple times, saw the conditions myself. The guy running the show was a complete asshole to his guys, but they all needed the money, so they stuck around." He explains, voice quieter than before.
"One night we got to talking. I asked Ash if  he thought we might be able to make our own ring, give people a safer place to earn their money. Then we figured out how much we could earn from it, and with shit going so wrong with mom, I figured that if she pulled the rug out from under me, I could use the league as a safety net."
Piecing together the timeline in her head, and doing the best to absorb the information given to her, Talia remains silent and slowly nods along when needed.
"Him and I have built this thing from the ground up, and it's working for us. I manage the books, he manages the guys, and we take care of the admin together. With my connections to the rich assholes who have more money than they know what to do with, and with Ashton's connection to the guys who need that money and want to do it, we're doing really, really well, Talia."
This time it's Talia who avoids eye contact, looking down to her shoes as she curses the logical side of her brain for seeing sense in his story.
"How many people do you have fighting for you?" She asks.
Brandon let's out a heavy breath, waving his hand slightly.
"Around twenty, twenty five. We keep the doors open for the more occasional guy who needs the cash that week."
"And how often are the nights like last night happening?"
"Weekly. Every Friday, normally."
Seeing the hesitation on her face, bottom lip pulled between her teeth, Brandon sits forward to bring her attention to him, her eyes flicking up to meet his.
"I know this is a lot, and I don't expect you to be okay with it, but I do want you to know I'm being smart about this."
Talia sighs, taking a sip of her drink before speaking.
"I know you, so I don't doubt it. It's just so dangerous, Brandon. You can't expect me not to be worried about you."
Brandon laughs lightly, trying to lift the mood slightly.
"I would never expect you not to worry. It's not in your nature."
A small smile tugs at the corners of Talia's lips, and it's enough to ease his mind.
"Anything you want to know about the ring, the business, any of it, I'll answer as best as I can. I trust you more than anyone and I want to do everything I can to make you feel okay with this, and make up for holding it from you."
Talia hazards a look to her brother, seeing on his face that he's been open and honest with her.
"You know I always ask too many questions." She smiles, joking lightly as she referenced something she would hear almost daily from her mother growing up.
Brandon shakes his head as he laughs, taking a sip of his own drink.
"If you get too much for me, I'll just pass you on to Ashton. It's what normally happens around here." He shrugs slightly, before tilting his head.
"Actually, do you want to meet him? He should be around out there." He asks, and Talia mulls the idea over for a moment before agreeing. After all, it would probably be best to know who she would castrate if something happened to Brandon.
"Sure, might as well." She agrees, downing the last of her drink and tossing her cup into the small recycling bin under his desk.
Standing up and following Brandon out of his office, Talia can feel her nerves already starting to act up, and does her best to shove them down as she follows him towards the bench press where the black haired man who she now assumed was Ashton, and Calum stood.
"Hey, guys. I got someone for you to meet." Brandon says, catching their attention as they approach.
Ashton sends her a warm smile as she steps out from behind Brandon, which is a nice contrast from the cold glare Calum sends her way, which she ignores to return the smile instead.
"Ashton, Calum, this is my sister, Talia. Talia, this is the demon on my shoulder Ash, and my blue rock em sock em man Calum."
"We've met." Calum says bluntly, while Ashton raises his eyebrow.
"And we haven't. Nice to meet you, I assure you Brandon's told us nothing but good things." Ashton grins, holding his hand out for her to shake.
Talia takes his hand and can't help but notice how strong his grip is without what looks like any effort, and laughs lightly.
"I'd hope so, but I can't promise my staff have heard the same about him. It's nice to meet you too." She returns, letting her hand drop to her side before she acknowledges the man beside him.
"And yeah, charmed." Talia prods lightly, seeing Calum trying to hide the roll of his eyes from Brandon.
"Talia is gonna be spending more time around, getting to know the workings when she can. I said if she annoys me too much I'm gonna pass her on to you, so fair warning." Brandon informs them, tapping Ashton's arm as he directs his sentence to him.
"Fantastic." Talia hears Calum mutter, not loud enough for the other two to hear it, but just enough that she does.
This time, it's Talia that rolls her eyes at Calum.
As conversation is made, Calum can't help but feel hyper aware of Talia, and the sun shining in from the high windows casting sunbeams through the few red hairs that fell out of her bun and framed her face delicately. He would admit that Talia was pretty, beautiful even, but not audibly, especially not in front of the girl who felt no hesitation in sending him a death glare every few minutes.
The small group spend ten or so minutes talking with each other before Talia's phone rings, letting her know she should start making her way to the studio.
"Looks like I should be getting to work." Talia says, slipping her phone back into her pocket.
"What do you do, if you don't mind me asking?" Ashton inquiries, genuine interest in his tone, making her see why Brandon was such a fan of him.
Talia believed she could read people well, and from her first impression of Ashton, she got nothing but good vibes.
"I'm a photographer, I own my own studio called Valentine." She smiles proudly, and Ashton nods his head in approval.
"My girlfriend works just down the road from you I think! It's not far from Dominion Books, right?"
Pleasant surprise spreads across Talia's face as she nods, happy to have found a common link.
"Yeah! I think I might have seen you there in passing now I think about it." She smiles.
Brandon watches on with joy as he sees both Talia and Ashton getting along, so happy about it in fact that he didn't even notice Calum looking like he would rather be anywhere else in the world.
Talia says her goodbyes to the men before turning to leave, her attention being called back before she makes it too far.
"If you ever need a fill in hunk for a photo shoot, you know who to call." Ashton jokes, sending a wink in her direction.
"Yeah, you can get your brother to pass you my number any time." Calum says sarcastically, surprising her but also making her scoff as she takes a few steps backwards before turning around.
"In your dreams, darlin'." She calls over her shoulder.
As the door swings shut behind her, Calum feels like his feet are glued to the floor, the eyes of his best friend burning into him as Brandon excuses himself to mock throw up against the wall.
"What's that all about between you two?" Ashton asks Calum quietly, picking up his water bottle as Calum picks up his own, holding it up and speaking casually before taking a sip.
"No idea what you're talking about mate."
TAGLIST |  @spicycal​​ @calmlftv​​ @irwinkitten​​  @mrandleer​​ @candidcal​​  @lukeskisses​​  @wallflowercal​​  @brooklynsninenine​​ ​ @whereveryouares​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​
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elaphaemourra · 3 years
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30 Questions Tag Game
Got tagged by @outcastcommander :DDDDD Thank!!!!!
Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better. HI I’M ACTUALLY REALLY SHY SO I’M NOT DOING THAT LOL I’m just gonna say, if u wanna do Intro and see this, go for it, and also bonus if u r Friend, absolutely feel free and also say i tagged u bc Yes Friendship.
Name/nickname: Elaphae,  Ela is most common (and great!! i love it fjdklajs), some people on the swtor art server called me ‘inquis’ a couple times ljfdklas.  
Gender: Nonbinary :DDD
Star sign: Virgo-Libra cusp :3
Height: 5’4 WOOP i am Short
Birthday: September 21
Time: 12:48 pm >:3
Favorite bands: Green Day, Volbeat, The Longest Johns, Alestorm… a lot more.  I’m a nerd lol.
Favorite solo artists: uh h hhhhh  o-O  there are Many.  Aurelio Voltaire is pretty solid lol.  Good for the heart.  Also, I can’t listen to too much of his stuff bc it gives me a Crisis, but Bo Burnham.  Shit’s a Bop.
Song stuck in my head: The theme for the uruk-hai from lotr lol
Last movie: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Last show: fjdklasj i don’t watch tv lol, i can’t make my brain sit still for it.  Gotta be Interactive.
When did I create this blog: uh, shit, when WAS that?? WOW 2014.  3 more years and I’ll have spent a decade on tumblr.  Which is WILD.
What do I post: things that make me happy ;v;  mostly star wars and dragon age, and Assorted Random Shit i think jfdlkfjd.  I don’t actually know what  my blog makeup is but it Sure Is Something.
Last thing googled: ‘the song from lord of the rings when saruman shows off the uruk-hai’ lmfaoooo, i couldn’t remember the name of it so i went looking.
Other blogs: HOO BUDDY okiedoke:  @haospart (art blog), @swtorcompanionsgoofin (swtor blog), @lyriumdisaster (dragon age blog, which i’ll get back to once i’m done on the swtor end of this bioware pingpong table of interests, and then i’ll be hopping BACK to swtor bc it IS a pingpong table), i have studyblr that I Never Fuckin Use and have only posted on in the past 2 years to go ‘what the fuck why do u people keep following me’ bc I LITERALLY HAVE NOT TOUCHED IT IN LIKE 2 YEARS why does it keep gaining followers, and then a few like, ‘no don’t look me i’m Embarassed’ repositories jfdklsjaf.
Do I get asks: Very rarely, but yes!! Lmfao usually when i go ‘GIVE ASK PLS I LOVE ASK’ and people are reminded that i am, in fact, a very friendly marshmallow who does not mind interaction and also Definitely Craves people asking questions about my stuff fjdla.
Why I chose my url: This is kind of a convoluted thing, but like, the easy version is that it’s the name of my trooper on the leviathan server (now called Aea out of the game bc they were supposed to be my self-insert but then they escaped into the woods and developed a storyline for themself).  The LONG thing is that I have an oc named Regia Elaphae, who I modeled after pnigophobia, the fear of choking or being smothered, and I made her snake-themed.  Rex is the latin word for king--for king snakes--which i swapped to regina and then took out the n bc ‘Regina’ didn’t fit her, and Elaphe is the genus for rat snakes, but i found two ways of spelling it so i spelled it Elaphae, and when I got into swtor I decided to use Elaphae in reference to myself.  I replaced my old url with this one after i started playing that trooper of the same name, bc my old one was :I .  I was into hetalia in middle school, and homestuck, and when I got on tumblr that followed me into my url.  I’m not into hetalia anymore, or anime at all, and homestuck fell off my radar into the ‘i’ll go “hey i know that” if i see it, but i’m not in the fandom anymore’ pile.  For the longest time my blog description was ‘it’s been 5 years and i still haven’t changed my url’, but it was time for change fjdklasfaj.  It’s better this way.  
Following: 953 (it was over 1300 but i did some clearing out of my follow list a month or so ago lol, mostly of people who haven’t been online in 6 years)
Followers: 616
Average hours of sleep: 7 and a half hours, if i want to be Functional
Lucky number: 19 :D  I love 19, it’s always been my lucky number, always will be.
Instruments: I don’t play much, but I can sing and also I can play beladi on the doumbek.
What am I wearing:  Fox onesie lol.  I wear basically nothing else at this point in my life.
Dream job: i mean, ideally i could just Not and vibe fjdkla.  But i mean like, i guess something working with my hands.  I’m in college to get a degree in french, and my next step after that is to go to trade school, to get smth that’ll make me money so i can keep doing Nerd Junk and also learning bc i like, actually really like school lol.
Dream trip: I want to go back to Rennes.  I miss it.  It was awesome, and, hilariously, I miss being able to get a burger that isn’t Drowning in its own grease.  America doesn’t know how to do healthy burger that tastes good.  Europe knows what’s up tho. I also miss being able to like, have just a pitcher of room temperature water next to a cute little glass and have it not be weird.  The cups are too big in america, i drink so much less water bc it’s just too daunting.  I’m dehydrated constantly.  Also i miss the METRO.  I loved the metro, loved nyooming along in the trains, wandering around the central part of the city, it was cool.
Favorite food: Eel!!  Eel’s tasty as fuck.  I love it.
Nationality: American
Favorite song: o-o uhhhhhhhhhhh, i have no idea lol.  I listen to so much random shit.  lol according to my spotify 2020 rewind it’s Starlight Brigade, from TWRP and Dan Avidan.
Last book read: i have got ZERO clue what the last book i read was.  I mean, technically it was a textbook for my myth, magic, and folk religion class, but like, blegh.  Nah.  Not fun.  I think before that I started reading Metro 2033???  I have a copy in french, and am flipping between that and trying to fckn get through au revoir là-haut.
Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in:  
1. swtorrrrrrr, i wanna be a space wizard [slap slap slap on the metaphorical counter] give me space magic
2. Pellinor, y’all it’s medieval and magic and COOL and i’m a big nerd for that.  (these books are so good ;v;)  Also they got wine that makes cramps and headaches go away and magic baths, so like, fuck yes give me that sweet sweet painkiller juice.  It’s magic babey.
3. Thedas, bc dragon age, and like, when things Aren’t all fucked sideways to hell, there are just like, People.  Going about their days.  It’s great.  Also MORE MAGIC  Science is all fucked up in my vicinity, so like, how much can i fuck up the magic o3o
tl;dr on that fictional universes thing, i really want to be a wizard apparently fjdklasj.
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spectraspecs-writes · 4 years
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Korriban - Chapter 88
Link to the masterpost. Chapter 87. Chapter 89.
@averruncusho @ceruleanrainblues @chubbsmomma @strangepostmiracle thank you for reading, you get a tag. @skelelexiunderlord thank you for support, you get a tag.
A/N: Yes, it’s been three months. But I have a job, and I only just got back to writing stuff, so don’t judge me bro.
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If Yuthura really does intend to slow the others down - and despite her obvious intent to betway me I believe she will - then I think I can afford to spend some time in the archive library while Carth tries to discreetly track down Dustil. No idea what Jolee is up to, but he may well be looking for more prestige. I’m not complaining. 
The library is anything but boring - other students are constantly whispering about the happenings of the Academy. “All I’m saying is, if Ajuunta Pall’s sword is so powerful, why hasn’t Uthar gotten it yet? Any student who got their hands on it could take him down.” “As if you could run the Academy, Luka - get real.”; “I heard Uthar’s master went insane.” “I heard he’s hiding in one of the tombs. Let him rot in there - if the tuk’ata don’t get him, the shyrack will.”; “Did you hear about those renegades in the Shyrack Caves?” “They’ll never get out of there… if Uthar wants them dead he just has to wait them out.” Mostly just those three conversations. Everyone has one piece of the puzzle, but no one’s put them together. Me, I’m just trying to focus on finding information about the terentatek. I have to move past the holocrons - I don’t see anything there about Dark Side creatures - so I move back to the old, hardbound books. Not much of anyone back here - a few older students here and there. 
As I scan the shelves, I actually crash into another student. I catch myself, but he actually falls over. “God, I’m sorry,” I say, offering a hand to help him up, “Are you okay?”
He takes my hand. “Yes. No, the fault was entirely mine,” he says. He straightens himself up. He’s not like the other Sith. “Hello,” he says to me, “I don't remember seeing you here before. My name is Kel... Kel Algwinn.”
“Rena Visz. Nice to meet you.” He looks and feels… off somehow. “Are you all right?” I ask him. 
“I…” he starts to say, but then he stops. “… oh, uh… nothing.”
He’s worse at lying than I am. “Are you sure?”
“Y-yes,” he stammers, “My master always says I am too trusting, too willing to show weakness. You're a Sith, so I really shouldn't… you know…”
“But I’m not a Sith.” Then I shrug. “Not yet, anyway,” I say under my breath.
“Oh, I know that.” He stammers a bit more. “I mean… you aren't yet, but you intend to be. I mean, you're just like everyone else here.”
Interesting phrasing. “And you’re not?” No, no he’s not.
“Well, I… I didn't mean it like that…”
“Well, how did you mean it?” I continue trying to scan the shelves for a book on Dark Side creatures.
“I… I shouldn't trust you,” he says hesitantly, “I can't trust you, can I?”
“Sure you can,” I say, trying to reassure him. I find the right book and I pull it out.
He looks around a little, nervously. But finally he decides to trust me. “I just… don't feel like I belong here.” He scratches his neck a bit. “I thought maybe I did at first, but now…” He shrugs. “I don't know,” he says with a sigh, “I just have so many doubts.”
I lean back on the shelf a little. I smile at him gently. “If it doesn’t feel right, then maybe you shouldn’t be here.”
“But where would I go?” he asks, “What would I do?”
I shrug. “Maybe you could try the Jedi? See what they think.”
He straightens. “I… don't know.” A shrug. “I never really thought about it. Maybe I should seek it out, give it a try.” He smiles. “Thank you,” he says, “Thank you so much.”
Anyway. Book. I sit down with it at one of the tables in here. This book is older, judging by the spelling conventions, but it still has a bit of information about creatures connected to the Force, from across the known galaxy at the time. The terentatek entry is a bit lengthier than some of the others. They lay dormant, according to the book, until the Dark Side becomes prominent in the galaxy, like after the war with Exar Kun. Or now. Their claws are poisonous, but the poison does more damage when the skin is broken. The rest of the body is not toxic in the same way - not harmless, but not dangerous in and of itself. They are immune to the Force. And they reproduce by laying eggs. That had to be a gutsy exobiologist to take a terentatek egg and examine it. Reports of one in some caves near here. I wonder…
Lashow leans over my shoulder. “Any information on tuk’ata in there?” she asks.
“Uh…” I do a quick flip through and find the entry. “Yeah.” I’m done reading anyway, so I hand it to her. “Go nuts.”
She sits down next to me and starts reading while I note down this new information in my datapad. She glances over at me, does a double-take at my face. “You?” she says in disbelief, “I can’t believe you actually made it into the Academy. You certainly don’t act like a Sith.”
“Why? Because I gave you a book I was finished with?”
“For one thing, yeah.” She scoffs a little, noting stuff down in her own datapad. “It doesn’t matter,” she says confidently, “It just so happens that I have a sure-fire way of pulling ahead in this little contest of ours. You don't really have a chance.”
“Oh, yeah? And how’s that?”
“I've found an artifact that will impress Uthar far more than anything you could ever scrounge up. I'll win for sure.”
“If you’re so confident, why haven’t you taken it to him yet?”
“I don't have it just yet,” she says, sneering, “I'll get it… when I'm good and ready.”
I glance at the book. “It’s stuck behind a pack of tuk’ata, isn’t it?”
“So what if it is?” she says quickly, “I’ll get it eventually, regardless. Nothing good comes without a bit of a fight… that's the Sith motto, more or less.”
I glance at her up and down. “You talk a big talk,” I say, “No offense meant at all. Talking big works on people. You can intimidate people. Persuade people. Puff yourself up so they move away.” She glances around a bit, trying not to look nervous. “Animals are a different story. They don’t care about words. If you want to take out an animal, you have to be faster than them or stronger than them. Or both. You have to know them as well as you know yourself, and you’re not going to get any of that out of a book. The Force can only take you so far.”
“And what do you know about it?”
“You’re talking to a scout, here. I’ve dealt with more animals than you can imagine, in their habitats. Animals that have never been documented, until I saw them. I learned to think on my feet, know what they know, think as they thought. That leaves marks on your soul.” I look at her again. “You don’t have those marks. You’ve never considered their souls, their connection to the Force, and if you go up against them, you will fail.” I can see in her eyes, I’ve convinced her. “You need my help if you want to get that artifact.
“Hmm…” She’s trying to sound like I haven’t scared the shit out of her. “You make a decent case. I suppose it's possible that Master Uthar could award both of us prestige. We'd be ahead of the others, for sure… I want something out of this, first, however.” Of course she does. “I want you to tell me about some lead you have for where I could find more prestige.”
Hmm - which one? “I heard about some renegades hiding in the shyrack caves - Master Uthar wants them killed.” She’ll probably run into the terentatek and turn back. If that’s not there anymore, the shyracks will probably turn her away. And if neither of those happen… she’s never broken a nail in her life, has she? She won’t last long in a cave.
“Oh?” she says curiously, “I hadn't heard about them. It certainly merits looking into. All right, I'll let you in on my plan.” She shows me her datapad. “The artifact that I've discovered is an ancient Jedi holocron.” Looks impressive. “Unfortunately, the holocron lies in the gullet of a tuk'ata mother.”
“The pack matriarch.” Based on the image in the book, the little bit that I read before handing it to her, they’re matriarchal. “She’ll be hard to get through to. Packs are a lot like the Sith sometimes, actually - the leader has to fight their way to the top.”
“I can arrange for us to 'meet' her, but you're going to have to help me in putting her down,” she says, and she takes back her datapad. “Go into the valley when you're prepared enough. I'll be amongst the central pillars, near the north end.” She closes the book and stands up. “I'll be waiting, so don't take too long.” And she leaves, leaving the book on the table. Doesn’t even put it on the rack to get put away. You know, there’s evil and then there’s just plain rude. You can be evil and not rude. I on the other hand am neither, so I pick the book up and put it on the librarian’s cart to be put away. (The librarian nods thankfully at me.)
“Hey, Dustil!”
My head perks up when I hear that name. Of course it does. I look around, trying to see who spoke and who he’s talking to. There - two humans. “Hey, Dak, what’s up?” That must be the right Dustil. I can tell - he looks like Carth. He has the same facial structure.
“I haven’t seen Selene lately, have you?”
“No, Dak…” Dustil says slowly, I can feel he’s sad. “Selene… Selene died in the Valley. Master Uthar told me.
“Oh, gods, I’m sorry, man.” 
“Thanks, Dak.” The conversation continues, but they walk away.
I sit back down and concentrate. I need to tell Carth that I’ve found Dustil, but I don’t want to use the comlink in case someone’s listening. I need to contact Jolee. I’ve never done this when the other Jedi wasn’t within eyeshot. So if I send out vibes through the Force, if I concentrate on him, maybe he’ll hear me. Jolee… Jolee… Jolee…
“You called?” he sends, “I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Do you see Carth? I found Dustil, he’s here in the library.” 
A pause. Then, “His excitement is palpable. Should we come to you?”
“No,” I send quickly, “No, if things get tense, I don’t want the other patrons getting caught in the crossfire. Or listening in.”
“Do you have a plan?”
“The start of one. Get into Uthar’s room, I feel like that’s a good start before we head out into the valley.”
Another moment. “You can imagine his excitement has dwindled.”
“He’ll live. Meet me back at the room, I’ll be there in a bit. I’m going to see what Dustil does.” Jolee breaks with me, and I try to discreetly watch Dustil.
He connects a datapad to one of the computer terminals. I connect to one myself, downloading information on the Valley of the Dark Lords. I have no idea what Dustil’s downloading, and it doesn’t really matter. Whatever it is, he gets the information, logs out, disconnects, and leaves. I wait a few moments before doing the same, following him. He heads back to the bedrooms, and I go to meet Carth and Jolee at mine.
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40, 47, 59, 62, 76
lmao hell yeah thanks for All this support i love it!! quastions
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
really idk i feel like even our schools’s Antics were pretty par for the course and i was just sitting in the corner reading the whole time basically......trying to think if anything wild happened in college but even then it was p similar. well you know what, whatever donors covered the majority of the cost of the school’s black box theater being renovated apparently Stipulated that every other year a rodgers and hammerstein production be put on. absolute freaks. my roommate/friend and their then-boyfriend, the one mormon i have Knowingly Known in my life, were in pirates of penzance (sic?) together. hilarious
47. favorite type of cheese?
i like cheddar and like, parmesan, smoked gouda.....let’s get that shit Sharp!!! and hard lmao
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
idk i’d be like an npc just doing their weird thing on their own. i’ve never played pokemons unless you count pokemons Go but i think about the famed “i like shorts they’re comfy and easy to wear” npc kid. like, yeah. i feel the same. and would say similar bullshit nobody asked about
62. seven characters you relate to?
oh god.........recognizing the self through the relatable characters :|
well let’s just talk about the wrol roles right off b/c the characters that Most occupy my gay thoughts (which is to say: my general thoughts) will inevitably get priority when it comes to Remembering things
1) whom among us doesn’t relate to jared kleinman........will roland emerging from relative obscurity and coming for our entire fucking lives like the goddamn legend he is. it’s tough b/c it’s like, oh well alana is relatable too, so is evan unfortunately sorry evan, and in ways i might ~usually act~ like one of those two more than jared but. no. it is Jared who wins the relatability contest, and we all get to be beautifully haunted by it forever
2) leaning hard into winston even with the few glimpses of him b/c somehow will Cannot play an allistic cishet. and this is even More of a case where maybe i don’t much have winston’s demeanor.......even without winston being a beacon of confidence, he has more confidence lmao. and he has that ability to just Be Himself in a situation which, i wish i had that moxie lmao. i am a lot more [usually trying to be accommodating wayyyy harder than i should], booo......even though he’s clearly not great at conflict considering how it doesn’t take Too much to put him out, it’d be pretty impossible for me to be all “called them hacks and lame” or carry out a very irritated monologue in front of four people in the first place lmao. but who knows. and it’s more in the details of like, oh no winston’s the odd one out even though he hasn’t really Done Anything, but we all ~understand~ why he Deserves it.........his expectation / treating it basically as Fact that he will disappoint people.......the [weird] [offputting] behaviors and his way of speaking in What he Says and How He Says It seeming wrong to people.......like it’s only 15-ish min of content that we have here and we don’t have the least info about will’s own thoughts on the character but it’s like. how is this such an iconic Gay Autistic Quant b/c these vibes are so rare. and i appreciate that he can be ~difficult~ lmao. same with jared though i didn’t mention it. i can be difficult!! love it for us...
3) briony atkins from murder of bindy mackenzie as a character who Does act more like how i Usually Act Like lmao.....god we’re only on three i forgot there was seven of these. and yet i know there’s probably at least 2 dozen characters who could make this list and i just won’t think of most of them unless directly reminded......but anyways yeah i mean in person i mostly do Not want attention unless i feel comfortable enough / in my element or whatever. especially if it’d be some situation like “sitting in a group of randos” lol. i mean it depends b/c i also can sometimes be ~on~ in terms of Masking and trying to be like Haha I’m Social I’m Regular and i def engage in Nervous Chatter sometimes, but like, very often it’s like god don’t talk to me and i don’t want to talk either.....and then yeah people Will be surprised that like, idk, i’m opinionated as shit and idk that i Enjoy Things / Have Thoughts And Feelings coz the assumption i guess is that you must simply have nothing to say. so the dismissal of this person who seemingly has nothing to contribute and must be Boring rings true lmfao.....but then of course it’s also important that her personality Under that is the one getting mistaken for emily’s lol cuz yeah At Heart i am sure of that dramatic / intense / excitable type Sometimes. but it takes some excavation before i am like “oh i can engage in my actual self” and like weeks and months to get comfortable w/ people and i’m always suspicious that anyone actually would enjoy it and i’m not too much......i am a motormouth actually and have something to say about any and everything and like to Have Fun Here but like. idk i come off as boring and can be Notably Quiet lmao
4) oscar martinez from the office is weirdly [Haha Same] sometimes lmfao. sort of keeps to himself but also has to pipe up with Opinions and Pedantry and the kind of Drama of a restrained theatre gay. some deleted scene from an episode where during an interview clip of Jimothy in a theater lobby and you have oscar call from across the group in that [wearied Ugh God] way of ‘jim, they’re remaking ___’ while jim just kind of gives a cursory “wow gosh” or whatever and like, i sure don’t have lots of Theatre Opinions but that “oh jeez i have a Take on this and have to share it with someone” vibe is like hahaha yeah.....it’s funny in the “the gang goes to the ice rink for a third of the ep” bit where you just catch oscar doing [ice skating turn] with some solemn intensity.......the “here’s a question nobody’s asking: is this worth it” quote.........way at the end where there’s a whole deal with one of the indoor plants and he’s like “why is it a He” @ the collective gendering of the houseplant lmfao.......i love the one thing where he and pam and uhh toby right? have the Finer Things book club or whatever and jim wants to join just like ~ironically~ and pam has to tell him that oscar doesn’t want him to join b/c he’s not going to take it seriously and use it as a Jokes Vehicle. and then you get the scene at the end where jim Is basically doing that and they’re just like taking it out of him and oscar’s all very seriously like “did you get it all out of your system” lmfao like yeah, earnest members only lmao.....the thing where he gets mad at angela’s like Jazz Musician Posed Babies posters all “it’s kitsch it Destroys art” lmaoooo and in a totally different season all “this is the problem with debate” over the completely inconsequential “is [whichever actress, i forget] Hot” “”””debate””””.......the whole tendency to get involved and always have a take to get across.....opinionated-sometimes-to-the-point-of-petty central. also that he’s the canon gay, are there even any others? anyways and as the us office’s spiritual successor i’ll add on to this by uh what’s the name of billy eichner’s character on parks and rec? it’s craig right. that Self-Powered Intensity is very #me as well.
5) augh god........im like lmfao shit who represents my Hater Club side. hmmm. oh no wait you know what. totally different but i love Prof Beatrice Hotchkiss in the trt nancy drew pc game. she’s holed up in her room writing all the time and just is weird when you try to talk to her all like no i won’t open the door, bring me food, do this Research, bring me my Ski Boots i guess......and then when you do meet her it’s all at like post-midnight in the lounge and she’s all like, encouraging you as a Night Owl and your investigative curiosity and all and i’m like oh word yeah being up in the dead of night is the shit. she’s just weird and passionate and this is another character i might not Act hardly at all like but who i vibe with lmfao. hotchkiss was the supportive adult in my life
6) remembering how hotchkiss is a historian made me think of academia which made me think of like, once again with “these vibes are So So Rare” i really ought to put the wrol role of Nato on the list cuz like. that essential representation of “gets gr8 grades but isn’t really ~academic~ / doesn’t care about that and really just cares about Hanging W Friends and [real specific interests]” is like wow damn that’s the Mood. coz like to an extent i can always Relate to the ~overachiever~ types a la the [nerd character gets all-A’s and other nerd shit] deal, but there’s eventually the issue of like.....those characters like bindy mackenzies and alana becks Care about their achievements (not exclusively as some ppl would have it 9_9) and are Studious whereas i always hated school and was a godawful student in terms of Habits and always got good grades b/c the devil was with me or something and like people will think i must have tried real hard and dedicated myself to Academics and stuff and it’s like.........no................not at all hardly, sure i did my hw every night but at like 11:29 pm or studied for a midterm at lunch right before the class lol or flipped through a lil bit of the sat study guide the night prior.........the “low-effort dumbass who Academically Excels Anyhow” representation is so crucial like!! i run into a wall when it’s the Good Grades nerd character who is real studious and focused and stuff like. couldn’t be me. meanwhile the “naturally weird + probably some ‘deliberate’ weirdness” and “likes animals” and “most likely to just wanna Roll With It” and “shitty focus lol” and “non sequiturs” and “without [activity] i do nothing” is all like....ahahahohoho..........nato rly got to make this list. and honorable mention for Wrol Jeremy. again: whom doesn’t relate!!!!!!!!
7) damnit i know there’s So many answers to [characters i relate to] and whom cover like, more particular Facets here but i’m struggling lmao. Uh. like i’m like, who’s the Hot Mess / continually evolving disaster characters i vibe with......who’s the peak despresso detached Haters rep......who embodies the solo production lifestyle........dammit you know what lol i tend to Feel for like, the background ~nobodies~ who might just get like totally destroyed in some movie with life or death stakes just to like, show how much danger our heroes / Important Complex Protags are. same w/ jeremy not feeling like the Hero / the one who the story’s about / the cool guy / player 1 / etc etc etc i’m like oo i’d be the npc who doesn’t really do anything, i’d be the rando getting blown away in the background of someone else’s story. on a totally different note another shoutout / honorable mention to wybie from the coraline lmfao one of the best characters invented from thin air for an adaptation......tangentially relevant b/c he’s entirely here to support the protag / not his story at all, just here to help and prompt interactions / exposition really.......but love that [weird loner kid who’s best friend is a cat and annoys the other kid and doesn’t Get it and has specific interests and entertains himself and just is doing weird shit around here tf dude lmao killing it] like, #mood. #lifestyle. less dismal to relate to than the bg person who dies......his counterpart who totally dies is somewhat fleshed out / given Investment so it doesnt Really count as [background Nobody who’s really just fodder for “defining the stakes / threat level”] Character Concept
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
latkes maybe......Yummy
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patheticphallacy · 5 years
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I turned twenty in June! I hope everyone enjoyed all my twenty list posts, it’s the hardest I’ve ever worked on this blog, and I’m really happy with how those posts turned out.
I ended up going to London for a few days for my birthday. I went to see my friend’s band perform (Rames, check them out y’all, they’ve got a lot of big things planned) and hung out with friends, and I got to meet my best friend for the first time! She lives on the other side of the world and she happened to be in the country, so we met up in central London and went wandering, and it was so so great, literally the best way to celebrate my birthday.
Reading and most other things were on the back burner for most of the month. Since March I’ve been struggling a lot more with my mental illness and general health, so I had to take a break and just have time to myself to assess what it is I’m doing and need to do going forward to begin feeling better about my life.
READING WRAP UP
My Hero Academia Volume 17&18 by Kohei Horikoshi– this is the conclusion to the Overhaul arc and it was pretty satisfying! It’s also very sad, which I expected but I cried a lot more than I planned to. I cannot wait for the next volumes to come out so I can hoard them and then binge them in time for season 4!
The Bigfoot Files by Lindsay Eagar– A surprising middle grade that follows a young girl who goes with her cryptozoologist mother to the woods to prove, once and for all, that Bigfoot doesn’t exist. It has some elements of anxiety and self-harm, which came out of a left field but I appreciate, and I’ll have a review up in the coming weeks.
Falling into Place by Sheryn Munir– This was actually so boring. I wanted to enjoy it so much but it failed. The focus on food was GREAT, and I love their jobs, but it moves way too quick to ever invest in the characters, and I really don’t like the elements of cheating, both kissing outside of a relationship and emotional cheating. I went into this having been told there’s no cheating, but there definitely is, and it just left a bad taste in my mouth.
Midnight and Apollo by Steve Orlando– We love gay superheroes! I love that this is all about their love and I’m so glad I finally read a comic about them. However I do recommend reading Orlando’s Midnighter series before picking this one up!
No.6 Volume 3&4 by Atsuko Asano– I’m enjoying reading this series. It’s a real throwback for me, the anime is one that got me into anime and finding more content with LGBT+ characters.
Shame Is An Ocean I Swim Across by Mary Lambert– This is Lambert’s poetry collection and I absolutely love it. It has a lot of poems on body image which is what got to me the most, but it also has poems on sexual assault, incest and trauma, and mental illness. It’s a very hard hitting collection, and one of my all time favourites now.
Trouble by Non Pratt– UKYA is out here and it’s trying to ruin all my fun. I really hated this book, it’s full of typical white feminism and ‘not like other girls’ vibes, and some of the worst treatment of grooming and incest I’ve seen.
The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson– THE BEST possible follow up to Trouble. I listened to the audiobook and it was just so great: it examines friendship, jealousy and the breakdown of relationships, as well as self-esteem and acceptance. Great representation too!
Coffee Boy by Austin Chant– A re-read of one of my favourite novellas. It follows a trans man who starts to work as an intern on a political campaign and grows closer to his humourless campaign strategist, Seth. Highly highly recommend it!
Smooth Criminals #5&6 by Kurt Lustgarten– I am enjoying this series! I love the friendship between the two main characters and the whole heist plot is at a head now, looking forward to the next issues.
Faithless #2 by Brian Azzarello– This is such a fucked up series and I’m loving it. It’s got explicit sex scenes, gore, and is just really bizarre. 
And my July TBR Jar pick is…. THE DEVOURING GRAY by Christine Lynn Herman!
TV SHOWS/MOVIES/VIDEOS
I binge watched all of Mista GG’s To Catch a Predator videos. Obviously triggering, and his humour may not be for all, but he has great commentary on the episodes and I honestly feel like it’s educating watching this show to begin recognising patterns of abuse.
MUSIC I’VE ENJOYED
I actually made a music playlist that has all of the songs I’m circling through and delete/add songs as time goes by but here’s some recommendations:
Be My Mistake by The 1975
goodnight n go by Ariana Grande
Do Re Mi by Blackbear
Unforgettable by French Montana (i’m so sorry i’m always on my bullshit for this song, i love it)
REVIEWS I POSTED
Small Spaces by Katherine Arden
Three Soft Sci-Fi Reviews: When the Sky Fell on Splendor, The Loneliest Girl in the Universe, Save Me
Three Horror Reviews: This is Not a Test, The Silent Companions, Uzumaki
OTHER POSTS I’VE DONE 
Pride Month TBR
Update: Asking For Help!
Top Ten Tuesday: Twenty Horror and Contemporary Reads
Twenty Anticipated Releases (this is one of my favourite posts I’ve ever done)
Music Monday: Twenty Songs You Should Listen To
Film Friday: Twenty Films That Made Me
Twenty Books That Made Me
Picking My Summer 2019 TBR!
  June Wrap Up & July TBR Jar Pick I turned twenty in June! I hope everyone enjoyed all my twenty list posts, it's the hardest I've ever worked on this blog, and I'm really happy with how those posts turned out.
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kimberlyoliveir · 4 years
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follow up to paying off my kiva loan months - super rough draft disprganizrd babble babble that i never finalized to submit to kiva - see date in photo
2nd draft KIVA THANK YOU + theme/thesis
••••••••••••••••••••••
"customer service for and compilation of party discounts and guest lists, including after hours events centralized in Brooklyn, New York prioritizing Connections, Communication, Community [no pretense, keeping it real]"
📲search GOOGLE for KIMMELIST • follow!
• would love your feedback on functionality so I can make it work for YOU
<https://g.co/kgs/P9f8N2>
•main website is https://www.kimmelist.club
•email is [email protected]
•text[me]@631-879-8903
always try discount code KIMMELIST
#CCC [Connections, Communication, Community]
#kimmelist
#thisiswhykimme
•CCCLTD [Connections, Communication, Community] supporting, aligning, and showcasing the emerging local culture
•PDC [party discount compilation©️™️]
•Transparency [no pretense; keeping it real]
•CC [Critical Consciousness] be present because the present is a present
•BRANDED ECLECTIC©™
(logo©™)
kimme
KIMMELIST
kim[me]list
www.kimmelist.club
••••••••••••••••••••••
Tumblr media
Dear All who loaned to me...THANK YOU...
because of your financial support, as well as spiritual, social, and physical support by coming to the events and parties, my business is - dare I say - established. It ended up not being one huge regularly scheduled event, but branched out into DBAs, one primarily promotions, another wine and foodie consulting. Many other projects are following different trajectories, having had various birthpoints, but the baseline remains the music. I’ll add a bunch of links for y’all to check out, but here’s the Google Business page for now.
Just launched my google business pg would love your functionality feedback !
<https://g.co/kgs/P9f8N2>
kim[me]list
kimmelist.club
Brooklyn, NY
(631) 879-8903
https://g.co/kgs/P9f8N2
I had to get all this out before I could be better organized about that which easily succumbs to Murphy’s Law. I didn’t want y’all to wait any longer for me to reach out since this loan was fully repaid, so here we go...
My initial loan request referred to then undefined nonprofits to partner with and raise funds for, which developed into me getting all cerebral about the why this country shames criminals so when ____\ () Since receiving the loan, the development of my philanthropic advocacy focus is on the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (https://sdgcompass.org). Coming from where I’ve been, on tops of six figure mountains and underground, the later is real and honest. It is the underground that society fears because the normal people perceive it to be slums, poor, classless, drugs, disease, etc. It is here where the stigmatized-isms are outcasted, where chaos is constant and confrontation is the norm. It is here in perceived primordial sludge that real change is birthed in grassroots. It is here that Credible Messengers, Change Agents and Life Mentors are the medium for awareness, inspiration and education. It is here where Social Media is the medium to sustain global critical consciousness via real time connections and communication of information. It is here that I felt compelled to do social work.
As many are aware, this calling to partner with the formerly incarcerated could not be disregarded. Thus, I have been in an intensive, online Masters of Social Work program at Fordham University, plus 25 hours per week internship at a successful anti-recidivism and alternatives to incarceration organization. It has been verified that this is who I need to work with, but the work I need to do is not the institutionalized type.
Next is Outreach, Advocacy, and Fundraising, supporting awareness in the emerging EDM community. Our activities can get loud about weighty issues that are a constant ringing in the ear drums; we will take the noise of everyday discrimination and make music. Music that protests with honesty and refuses to be ostracized for voicing the challenges of stigmas such as mental health, drugs, sexual harassment and exploitation. Many of the hard knocks we’ve been through internally are based in social determinants, deep conflicts and unanswered questions we may not gave cognizantly asked but that we struggle with everyday. This cloud confuses the path to our true selves, self actualization. People restrict saying what they think or suspect because they fear the receivers reaction, thus avoiding the possibility of being discriminated against. Ultimately, this self-sabotaging handicap, cutting us off from the oneness we seek. Now we must ask, because music is the answer, and fear is not real.
This is what’s in the AV line to be realized in the in the upcoming months, birthing a plethora of projects, webs of partnerships, genuine connections, unabashed communication, and transparent communities.
Ultimately, each of us as artists in life should be exactly where we should be; content in every moment. The dance music community is rampant with great energies. We all need to empower each other individually and whole so we may realize and harness potentials towards actualization.
Future events will provide spaces and resources where we can collectively learn how to address limitations, resistance, and barriers to synthesizing One Love. Plans are to vibrate out negativity, before this digital age has any stagnant opportunity to accumulate and manifest as self-harm. Workstations perform with more engagement than vibrations in isolation.
I have a YouTube playlist called “#thisiswhy” that runs the videos that have most impacted me and justify why I am where I’m at in my quantum compilation. In this YouTube profile, are statements that summarize the original motivators that took me to the place I’m at now. Their phrasing has waved at various frequencies during transmission, but the root axis are the same. You will see these living formulas representing principles and beliefs everywhere I am, from Resident Advisor to Action Network, Facebook to my website, as #taglines and slogans:
CCCLTD [Connections, Communication, Community] supporting, aligning, and showcasing the emerging local culture
PDC [party discount compilation©️™️]
Transparency [no pretense; keeping it real]
CC [Critical Consciousness] be present because the present is a present
BRANDED ECLECTIC©™
I am trying to wrap this up with two more brake homes:
1. the philosophy behind my eever-evolving brand-identity
and
2. the basis for my logo©™

This is the same exact logo that I drew back when I incorporated and got an EIN back in October 2012. The image represents the balances of earth, inherent concentric animalism of humans, and the unfortunate breaks that just exist (Murphy’s Law). Hopefully, how I arranged the circles suggests cyclical movement, symbolic of our constant changing and rearranging, movement to embrace. Music, the constant, is organized disaster and the medium for change. The design intention was to imitate when you are looking down into a glass of wine, reminiscent of simple, normal experiences of a made-made natural product bound with anthropology. Everyday conditions build stories that become cultures; as wine is to cuisine is to music; like notes build stories that become songs. The image might instigate subconscious memories, perhaps a source of pleasure and philosophical discourse, but also to warn that the “hole” is basically and factually that. I am alluding to the dangers of pleasure that can become pain when unmonitored, which correlate and contribute to negative social determinants because the abusers cannot remain in the “maintain” part of the cycle of change. These “holes” are the black holes that tell us to remain self-aware in objective self-preservation. Individual self-determination and critical consciousness must vibrate high because potential for positivity to get sucked into the abusive hole is high. Thus, the logo’s “hole” is a symbol of the potential for self-sabotage that leads to the universe forcing social departure, casing isolation, discrimination, ostracizing, judging, etc. However, where the logo is perceived broken, it is ultimately open. Simply spin the wheel of life, take the risk of being rejected and speak with integrity; ask the question about the elephant in the room, so the circus will get out of town, and the only rings will be that of functioning communities. As writes the author of the article I mentioned above - the full text of which is below - the model of change represented in my logo is the same of Outreach models is the same as the Japanese art “kintsugi, where broken items are repaired and displayed with pride, our connections and reconnections are often strongest where we had to forge them ourselves.” Do not fear outcomes. Live transparently. Words are a symbol to convey that which is unobservable with the human eye. Do not hide under a veil of privacy. If you do, the isolation of your frequency from the framework sends you to where there is no light.
The birth of the above principles and beliefs, namely CCC [Connections, Communication, Community] is Chocolate Covered Cheese, LTD, a judgement free business, that can flex services offered to cater to situations. The business name itself demands the question be asked, no silent stigmas. Talking is forced by need to define. As the definition is clarified, the best collaborative work is channeled. To assume and not speak stifles the solution in integrity, condoning ignorance born from false fear, perpetuating isolation and raising disequilibrium and discrimination. (Altruism GAME THEORY. Wavelengths. Music
Music is the answer )
For others needing capital, especially those who are unbanked, off-grid, and hailing from unfavorable social determinants, please follow my link to Kiva fundraising @ <https://www.kiva.org/borrow/6NTM8B4AC59JP59YS9WG9YCF> I vibe with Kiva’s tagline and slogan: “We envision a financially inclusive world where all people hold the power to improve their lives.” Kiva is a San Fran based nonprofit, whose global mission is “to expand financial access to help underserved communities thrive.”
In an esoteric goodbye cuz I am not good with simplifying fractions:
Even though the general norm is non-compliance, maintaining status quo is a normative lie. However, popularity doesn’t matter during chaotic conditions. In order to intentionally remove privilege and realign, confrontation is the honest directive action. During distress or duress, the fear is real rather than a perceived or imagined negative reaction. Furthermore, as in the basis of psychotherapy, all talking is a request for something...and that something could just be togetherness.
So speak now or for ever with old your peace.
✌️
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phynxrizng · 7 years
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SURRENDER TO LOVE...
What if you just surrendered to love? You ARE love, after all. You are made from it, you are a channel of it, and you dwell in a sea of it. Beneath the seeming chaos, love flows through and animates all like a gossamer web: birthing everything, holding everything together, and (if you look with clear eyes) causing everything to shimmer and glow. No matter how it may seem, there is never a shortage of love. That's why it feels best when we surrender to it. When we allow ourselves to be what we already are in truth: pure love in temporary human form. But how do we surrender to love? There is a soft surrender in the breath. When we place our attention on the in-breath and the out-breath, again and again, the breath goes deeper into our being. It taps into the hidden caches of energy that have been posing as tension and blocks. Will your mind wander from the breath? Yes. A thousand, a million times. Every time, no matter how long its been - even if it's been months or years - bring the attention back. Over time, like water dripping on a stone, an open space will be created, and rivers of pleasure and light will begin flow through you endlessly: clear, joyous rivers that can never be drained or depleted. And whether you are in a relationship or not, or whether your relationship presently feels harmonious to you or not, you will never want for love. Because you will be love. Other ways to surrender to love? Dance. Make yummy food for people. Walk in nature. Have a garden. Sing. ...As always, thank you for being here and for the magical light you shine in the world. Love and Blessings, P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! The NEW BOOK is here! Check it out on Amazon and order your copy here. ...And after you read it, would you please write me a review? (You can review it here or here.) Sunday, February 26, 8PM Mountain Time (7 Pacific, 9 Central, 10 Eastern) Free New Moon Ritual Live on Facebook Let's virtually gather for this watery new moon to set intentions for the fresh new lunar cycle ahead. To prepare, light a blue or a white candle, and compose one or two intentions in the present tense, as if they're already true. Optionally, obtain a sea shell or watery crystal (such as sea opal, moonstone, aquamarine, or labradorite) to set on your altar afterwards as a symbol of your intention(s). LIVE at facebook.com/ Every Tuesday, 6:30 PM Mountain Time (5:30 Pacific, 7:30 Central, 8:30 Eastern) As a part of our Good Vibe Tribe membership program, we convene live every week to do rituals and meditations together. Participants can send in questions and comments. A recording is provided after the event. These events are available to basic members at just $10 per month. ...and you can try an entire month for only a dollar! Flower Reading for February 6-12, 2017 A Message for Survivors of Sexual Abuse 4 Secrets to Manifesting Abundance (For a digest of the newest blog posts delivered to your inbox every Monday, subscribe to the weekly newsletter!) Simple Sandalwood and Rose Love Spell Super Powerful Romance Ritual 8 Ways to Make The Most of the Year of the Yin Fire Rooster Simple Love Spells for Every Situation I know I'm not the only one who likes to keep my spells simple. It's not about memorized invocations or hard-to-find ingredients after all, but about the heartfelt intention you bring to your magical work. When it comes to love spells, there are all kinds of conditions we may like to draw in. (Or cast out!) Scroll down until you find one that matches your romantic goal. Please note that this Friday (tomorrow!) is an excellent day for any of these. Friday is ruled by Venus, and this one happens to be a full moon eclipse! Valentine's Day would also be a good choice. If you want to... Attract Lots of Fun Romantic Attention Maybe you're not quite feeling the one-and-only life partner thing right at this moment - but you are in the mood to meet some folks and have some fun. If this is the case, find yourself some lingerie or intimates that you feel amazing in. Take them home, lightly anoint them with rose absolute, put them on, light some candles and incense, and dance to music that makes your body want to move. While you do, feel that you are activating a magnetic force and dazzling light within your body and energy field that will cause you to be an irresistible force of romantic attraction. Call in a Beloved Life Partner Clear clutter from your bedroom and wash all your sheets, as well as your duvet, mattress pad, and any other bedding. Do all of this with the intention to energetically clear the way for an ideal life partner to make his or her way into your life experience (and, eventually, bedroom). Replace the bedding, make any changes you feel called to make in your room to make it more conducive to romance, and then scatter the petals from 6 pink roses and 6 red roses across the top of your bed. Leave for at least 4 hours. Love Yourself More The more we love ourselves, the more harmonious our romantic relationships become and the more attractiveness we exude. This spell starts at your favorite perfume counter, herbal apothecary, or fragrance shop: take some time to find a new fragrance for yourself: one that you absolutely adore. Then wear it every day, reminding yourself with each application that you are an exquisitely lovable and beautiful being, deserving of every wonderful thing. Clear Challenging Relationship Karma Whether you want to cut the cords to an old relationship, clear limiting thoughts or beliefs related to love, heal a broken heart, or release a painful relationship pattern for good, this spell has got you covered. Light your bathroom with one or more white or off-white candles and draw a warm bath. Dissolve 1 cup epsom salt, 1 cup sea salt, and 1/4 cup baking soda in the water. Stand outside the tub and say, "Great Goddess Aphrodite, foam born, Goddess of water and the sea, I call on you. Thank you for cleansing away old relationship karma, and transforming it all into the golden light of love. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Blessed be. And so it is." Then soak for at least 40 minutes. Create More Harmony in an Existing Relationship Of course, magic works best when we have the ongoing intention to get into our most positive possible flow. This means that when an intention is not actually for our truest good, it gets overwritten by what is for our truest good, even if we don't consciously realize it's for our truest good at the time. To work magic in any other way is to invite disharmony in the long run. Now, when it comes to love spells, this means that working magic on a specific relationship will only create more harmony in the relationship if that relationship is for our truest good. Otherwise, it's likely to accelerate its dissolution. Also, harmony in relationships sometimes demands the appearance of disharmony for a time, when previously unarticulated feelings come out into the light. All that being said, to create more harmony in an existing relationship, obtain or print out a small picture of the two of you together. Put a small amount of honey in the bottom of a small, attractive jar with a cork stopper. Place the photo face up at the bottom of the jar, on top of the honey. Cover the photo with even more honey, filling the jar to the top. As you do so, envision the two of you surrounded by sweetness, harmony, and golden light. Close the jar with the stopper and place it on your altar. (Or, if you want to keep it hidden, you can place it in your lingerie drawer.) Announce to the Universe That You're Ready for Love Take a shower. Before you dress but after you dry off, safely smudge yourself thoroughly with the smoke from a bundle of dried white sage. Extinguish the sage. Dress simply and comfortably and sit in front of your altar or somewhere secluded that feels right. Write a note to the Universe, speaking from your heart about the fact that you really and truly are ready for romance, and all that comes with it. If it feels right, you could simply write, "I am ready for love." (You could even write it in glitter glue if you're feeling crafty.) Place it on your altar or somewhere special. Then anoint your belly, heart, and forehead with essential oil of sandalwood diluted in Jojoba oil. SOURCE, TESS WHITEHURST.COM Tess Whitehurst, PO Box 3352, Nederland, CO 80466-3352 SafeUnsubscribe™ [email protected] Forward this email | Update Profile | About our service provider Sent by [email protected] in collaboration with REPOSTED BY, PHYNXRIZNG
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comebeonetwothree · 3 years
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Blog #2: Deleting States
06/01/2021
Greetings from the south of bumble fuck. Currently, we are driving through farmlands longer than the naked eye could see.
Driving into Washington D.C., you can feel the power of the city oozing through the beloved Brads and Chads.
From D.C. we drove directly into Tennessee which was a five hour stretch of flat land. We were greeted by an army of confederate flags right off of the state boarder line. I guess they did not get the memo that it is the 21st century. However, this makes sense since they all still have their Trump 2020 flags flying.
From Tennessee we landed in the lovely Little Rock Arkansas, where the human population is outnumbered by cows alone.
Now we’re in Amarillo, Texas for the night on our way to Santa Fe, New Mexico for a three-day rest from driving.
Throughout the last week, I can’t say much self-discovery was made (other than Nashville taking a serious toll off my life). Fresh out of a two-month bender due to college coming to an end, and I still can’t wrap my head around the amount of alcohol consumption that takes place in a day alone there.
The Who’s, the What’s, the Where’s, the When’s and the How’s are all very different from life in New York, I am still trying to figure out if this is a good thing or not.
Who
Who do you think you are…?
In D.C. that is just the question everyone is asking themselves. If you are not walking around in business casual, you’re a tourist.
Brads and Chads swarm the streets, and I say that in a literal sense…
Story Time: Mary, Maya and I had reached ‘E’ on our energy levels after seeing some amazing monuments in the heart of D.C. Anyway, we stopped at the closest bar and grill we could find for a beer and some appetizers… little did we know those don’t exist in D.C. and we ended up in this high-class cigar lounge that advertised themselves as an American Tavern. Inside we had the pleasure of eavesdropping on a conversation Chad was having with the waitress. His buddy Tyler, a regular there, was name dropped five times in a 3-minute conversation about how he took home some banging hot girls’ from there the week before. Naturally, he came back to host a business meeting there with some major clients, ordering the finest cigars and drinks for the table. Some business meeting I’d say. It’s too bad we didn’t stay long enough to see how that night turned out…
The people and the city know the power they hold, considering they live in the capital of the country. How ironic that the capital was our first stop.
It is hard to know what the city was like before this past year, but they incorporated a lot of great Black Lives Matter art throughout, including a massive mural on the street in front of the White House as well as a street named after the movement.
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It was a tough pill to swallow still seeing a majority of homeless men being colored. A heartwarming interaction happened while walking through the park where majority of the homeless slept. There was a white man handing out care packages to them filled with water bottles, sandwiches and granola bars. He was able to hand out multiple to each person in the park.
The culture shock was extremely different heading from D.C. to Nashville. Both cities, have polar opposite intensions.
Nashville was filled with 99% of tourists that were there for the weekend or had already overstayed their welcome. Even our receptionist was from Westchester, New York.
We got to meet some really cool people and some great bands. We even became weekend groupies for two bands and ended up bar hopping with them.
Our new friends, Gabby and Autumn, showed us a great local experience. They were residents of Nashville; however, Autumn was born in Colorado and Gabby was from Portland. They took us to some other great bars that night, and we got to pick their brains on the cool spots to see in their hometowns, since we will be stopping there later on in trip.
Sweet Leah Music, was the best band to be groupies for this weekend. Being that we were the only non-country music fans in Nashville, this band blessed us with their southern rock and roll vibe. Playing by request, we were able to live our best lives through their amazing soulful sounds. With drinks in all their hands throughout their set, we were blessed with their hilarious and relatable toasts. My favorite: “This one is for the ladies. They love us in leather, they love us in lace, but they love us best when we sit on their face!”
What
What happened last night…
Hitting two large cities and two small layover cities, we got to see a lot about each place through museums and bars.
D.C. was filled with history on history, presented in some of the most beautiful ways. Our founding fathers and all those big guys walked those streets. You can’t really miss it either. Each road is named after a president or an iconic moment in history (just in case you missed the massive landmarks).
Nashville being the music central, was filled with great museums and of course the most insane bars with live music and voices of angels.
The Musicians Hall of Fame Museum was an interactive experience for all ages to enjoy. We were able to make beats and play with all these dope instruments.
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The Johnny Cash Museum was filled with his memorabilia down to his report cards from grade school. I never knew anything about this man, and now I could tell you his favorite color. It really was a well-stocked museum.
The bars held my heart, besides the hole they burned in my pockets. They don’t warn you about the toll this place takes on your mental and physical well-being. Mentally, I hit an all-time high, overdosing on serotonin while head banging to every song I knew.
Oh, and did I mention I rode the bull… no bullshit! I full-on rode the fuck out of a mechanical bull in a karaoke bar. That killed my physical being… four days later and it still feelings like I got gangbanged by Shrek and his posse.
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In Little Rock, Arkansas we had the pleasure of attending the most depressing zoo ever. We only stayed a night there and left the following morning for Amarillo, TX, but thought it would be nice to see something signifying during our short layover. With all museums being closed because of the “four-day weekend”, the zoo was the only thing open. We got there just in time for the monkey show!! The lovely chimpanzees gave us front row entertainment to their 69ing!! Full X-rated animal porn, even got to see some fingers in buttholes.  
To make the trip in Arkansas even more complimentary, we had the best welcoming gift! A giant pile of vomit in front of the restaurant we ate at… shoutout to the random man that screamed watch out two inches before I stepped in it. Needless to say, we still ate there… 4/10 would recommend to a friend. The vomit and ambulance sitting out front really gave it this phenomenal aesthetic!
Where
Where’s our car dude…
The City of D.C. is filled with great architecture and beautiful monuments. The World War II monument was a full body experience, views at every angle you turn your head.
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The White House on the other hand is extremely overrated, I had to pull out a $20 bill to make sure I was staring at the correct white building.
Nashville is the other capital we were lucky enough to see, the capital of binge drinking.
Sitting downtown for the first time, I acquired lockjaw from the insanity that just casually strolled down the block.
Party bus after party bus… each getting more outrageous than the next. First was the peddle yourself bar on wheels, then came your classic roofless school bus with a nice amp and a small bar in the back of the bus. Then came your large tractor carrying a large wagon of drunks, I thought I had seen it all. Lastly, the ultimate party bus then approached us; a massive roofless party bus with smoke machines, disco lights and three large amps blasting music louder than the bars. Oh, but wait there is more… Just when you thought it couldn’t get better, a bus with a hot tub come strolling down the street, bitches in bikinis… what in the world.
This was the land of drunk people on buses screaming at the other drunk people that were landbound.
When
When does the bar close….
This was the most driving we will be doing, deleting states like it’s our business.
A whopping seven days ago we were in New York, now we out here in New Mexico.
What’s next to come is the long stays? Hiking camping and so much more :)
Why
Why the face…
Still not sure, there was not much time for “self-discovering” between getting plastered at bars and driving hours on end to conquer this mother fucking country.
The worst part is I had some crazy revelation last night but was too exhausted to get up and write it down and now it’s gone. Like Maya says, “If it was good enough it’ll come back,” let’s hope I haven’t completely smoked out my brain and I can come to it again.  
I would have to say I would go back to Nashville again but with my posse, there is a great number of things to do with groups of people there, and I need a new mentality when I return… And a new liver.
How
How about no…
Splitting up the distance in driving we have all equally drove around 10 hours since the trip started.
It is not horrible, having two other people in rotation to keep you occupied helps a lot. It seems the rotation is: drive five hours, then your co-pilot will take over and the person snoozing in the back become the co-pilot.
Road Trip Tip: Down south people really drive the speed limit, there is no complimentary 10 over as New Yorkers do it.
Bottom Line
We are on the road again, just trying to find a place to fall in love with. So far New York still has the most beautiful scenic drives… that Hudson Valley hits different.
Accents are changing, people are friendlier, and time is moving WAY to fast… how has it already been a full week :/
Onto the next…
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murasaki-murasame · 7 years
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Thoughts on Dreamin’ Sun v1
Now that I’ve finally read this [after having dealt with the nightmare of originally getting an incredibly damaged copy and needing to wait an extra two weeks for a replacement copy to arrive], I may as well write down my thoughts. This isn’t really going to be a review, at least not “officially”, though I’ll obviously talk about my opinion on different parts of it. It’ll be more ramble-y and over the place than a proper review. Like with Rakugo, I might just wait until the series is done before doing a proper review of the entire thing, to save on time.
This got really, really long, but it’s mostly because since this is the first volume there’s just a lot to talk about right off the bat to get my initial feelings out. And also because there’s stuff like my whole lengthy point about comparing the art in this version to the original release of the series, which I won’t need to bring up as much later on. Even if I have less to say overall about the later volumes, I’ll still probably try and make posts like this about them even if they’re way shorter.
TL;DR: Basically I REALLY enjoyed this, more than I thought I would. It reminds me a LOT of Fruits Basket, in a good way. But it definitely seems to be going for a different vibe from that series. I like both, though. This might not be anything mind-blowing, especially if you’ve read a lot of shoujo rom-coms, but it seems like it’s probably a good title for people like me who are a bit less ‘experienced’ with the genre.
I’m really excited to see what happens in v2 now. I guess one good aspect of how it took like a month since v1′s release date for it to arrive is that it means there’s now only about a month or so until the next one’s out.
Detailed thoughts under the cut
For a bit of background info, the biggest reason I even checked this out is because I really adored the anime adaptation of Orange when it aired a year or two ago. I plan on getting the English release of the manga eventually, since I liked it so much as an anime. I’d been curious about this series for a while, but then Seven Seas announced their license of it, and I decided to wait for it and hold off on reading the scans online. I’m so glad I chose to just wait for this release, which I’ll explain in a bit. Over the last 6+ months or so I’ve been checking out the covers of the new Japanese re-releases of the series as they got revealed. Which certainly got me hyped for this. Let it be known that I am a complete sucker for beautiful covers, and man are these covers wonderful. They fit all of my aesthetic tastes so perfectly. Even if the series somehow falls apart later on I’m gonna still collect it just because the volume covers are so beautiful. OK, I just needed to lay that out there because these covers deserve to be raved about.
I guess it’s not really related to this series, but I’d also been reading Fruits Basket over the last six or so months via Yen Press’ new omnibus versions. Mostly because I’ve been wanting to read some cute, fluffy shoujo rom-coms for a while, and FB is like the most universally praised manga within that genre. I might still make a separate review of that series later. I’m bringing it up here because, honestly, it’s really hard not to note the surface-level similarities. I keep finding myself comparing the two. But even then, the comparison just makes me like Dreamin’ Sun, thus far, even more. I won’t call one better than the other, but this series definitely has it’s strengths.
To get more into detail about the similarities, both FB and Dreamin’ Sun involve a teenage girl being either voluntarily or involuntarily forced out of her home because of drama and life circumstances stemming from the relatively recent deaths of their mothers. Both protagonists wind up living in an isolated house with two teenage boys who complete the central love triangle, and their kimono-wearing house-owner/landlord who’s in his 20′s. It feels a bit weird to even list this out, since I don’t mean anything negative by it. I’m not saying that Dreamin’ Sun is a rip-off or anything. It certainly didn’t impact my enjoyment of it. It just highlights how even strangely similar premises can be handled in different ways. And obviously those elements aren’t the entirety of the story of either manga. I mean, you can’t really ignore the way that FB is also about supernatural curses and people that turn into animals, and Dreamin’ Sun is very much not about those things at all :V
[Lengthy ramble about comparing the current style to the ‘original stye’ starts here. Scroll down a bit if you want to skip past this]
Before I talk about the actual premise/story, which will take a while, I want to talk about what I said before about being happy that I chose not to read the scanlated version. I didn’t realize it until the author states it at the end of the volume, but for the recent re-releases of the series [that the English version is based on], she actually re-did a fair bit of the art. I spent a while comparing chapter one page by page across the ‘original version’ and the version we got in English. To put it simply, judging from just this one chapter, it seems that about half of the art is redone to some degree or another. It’s a bit complicated. It’s not a complete re-draw, or anything like that. It’s mostly focused on changes to how the characters themselves are drawn, but I noticed a few instances of slightly refined backgrounds and added/edited visual effects, though I wasn’t paying as much attention to that stuff. I can tell that the artist was focusing on fixing inconsistent or anatomically incorrect art, while in general making the art-style feel more consistent. I could tell that a lot of the panels that were left alone were the ones most similar in style to her current art.
It didn’t bug me or anything, but I could tell that there were notable differences between the style of certain panels, especially when it comes to how eyes, and specifically irises, are drawn. Takano’s art style clearly hasn’t changed that much over the years [it’s just gotten more refined and consistent], but she’s obviously developed a specific way of drawing eyes/irises, as you can see from the cover of this volume, which is very consistent across how she draws all of her characters now. It definitely clashes a bit with how she used to draw irises in particular in a more . . . inconsistent way. This is especially notable with Shimana, who used to often be drawn with largely unshaded/uncoloured eyes, and with more shaky lines. But, just to be clear, the difference is so relatively minor that I genuinely thought it was just a matter of her putting more effort into certain panels compared to other ones, and was genuinely surprised to see that there was, what, a 9+ year gap between when these were drawn? Wow. So yeah, she’s notably improved, and there’s still a fair amount of untouched art in this, but it’s not very noticeable at all. It’s actually most noticeable, I feel, with the colour pages [I assume they were originally in colour. This release has absolutely zero colour pages, which is very disappointing since I thought that the official blurb for it said that we’d get at least one per volume]. Something about the way they’re done feels more immediately different to her current style.
But even though the difference isn’t too noticeable just in the context of this version we have now, after seeing the original version and all of it’s art, I’m VERY happy she re-did the parts she did. A lot of panels in the original felt very similar to what she does now, but a LOT of them were noticeably worse, and definitely needed to be updated to make things consistent. She pretty much just took the worst of her old art and re-did it, and left the best parts, which seems like a good way to prioritize this sort of partial re-draw if she didn’t have the time to re-do the entire thing. Her older style definitely has it’s own charm and personality, and is arguably more experimental and expressive than her current style, which could be called overly consistent and ‘safe’ if you wanted to be negative about it. I imagine that there’s probably lots of people who prefer the original art completely, even beyond just basic nostalgia, and that’s fine. But after having been exposed to this new version first, I’m very glad it exists. It might get ironed out quickly [I only read the first chapter in it’s original form], but from that chapter alone it definitely felt like Takano sometimes struggled with keeping facial structures and hair-styles perfectly consistent between panels. Her handling of it’s better than a lot of other artists, but there were obvious examples of faces seeming a bit too flat at the side, or eyes being oddly sized/spaced, or foreheads being too large. The characters also have more realistic and consistent hair-styles, which is nice. It was especially noticeable with how Zen’s hair felt more wild and fire-y originally [and his hairline seemed too high a lot of the time], but is more specific and rigid now while retaining the spiky look [I really don’t know how to phrase this], and how Taiga’s hair felt more messy originally, with lots of strands/tufts on the top part sticking out more wildly. His hair’s a bit more tidy and flat now, but not entirely so.
[Art comparison ramble ends here]
Also the fan translation used for the scanlation I found was TERRIBLE, holy shit, but that’s not a point against the story itself obviously.
In general I love the art-style of this manga. I’ve been a huge fan of Takano’s way of drawing her characters ever since I watched Orange. I’m never good at praising visual types of art, since I never know how to put my thoughts into words about it, but her style is just really nice. It all feels very soft and consistent. She has a way of drawing hair and eyes in a way that captures a nice middle-ground between looking ‘realistic’ and looking ‘manga-y’, if that makes sense. They have a nice sense of depth and visual complexity to them. She’s also really good at drawing outfits, but really I’m just envious of anyone who knows how to do fabric folds at all. It might annoy some people that her modern style is more soft and subdued and clean than how her art used to be, but it never bothered me.
I guess there’s not too much to say in terms of the “story” of this, if we ignore the romantic elements. But I do want to say that I actually think I prefer this variation of the “girl leaves her original home and moves in with a group of guys”  set-up to how it was handled in Fruits Basket. It’s a bit of a meaningless comparison though because I love them both for different reasons. FB was taking a way more comedic and silly angle for a lot of it, while Dreamin’ Sun handled it in a relatively more serious and reasonable way than I expected. Aside from the vague contrivance of Taiga immediately guessing that Shimana is looking for a new home, I really liked how everything else about it was handled. For one thing, Taiga’s an actual landlord who’s already renting out parts of his house to other teenagers, so it makes everything feel way less sudden and unprepared. It also explains why Taiga so readily presented her with the option. Which helped make it all feel way less creepy than it could have been. He also gave her every chance to back out of the choice if she wanted, while also being rather responsible in telling her what to do if she actually wants to commit to it. I greatly appreciated how he wanted to make sure that Shimana cleared things up with her parents and got permission from them, and it was nice seeing him go with her to more or less negotiate with them. It was cool seeing him back Shimana up and make a reasonable case about how she deserves to have some freedom of choice while she still can. And I really love that she didn’t cut herself off from her family entirely, or anything, and is going to stay in regular contact with them. They even gave her some money to help her get settled in. In general what I mean is that the story put WAY more effort into making the entire moving process more reasonable than it necessarily needed to be. I could have dealt with it being hand-waved more easily, with nobody caring that much about the gravity of the situation. So it’s nice that it went out of it’s way to do all that. [I just realized that the way Taiga stood up for Shimana and made a case for her choosing to stay at his house is probably reflective of his family’s connection to law. Huh. I never quite put two and two together on that]. It’s also worth noting that the updated art-style also made Taiga seem notably less creepy in chapter one. It actually surprised me how outright sinister and unnerving he looked at times in the original, whereas in this version he’s mostly just sorta snarky and deadpan. It’s especially notable how sinister he looked originally while commenting on Shimana’s bag at the end of the park scene, whereas in this version he just looked mildly curious about it. It’s stuff like this that also went a long way to making him and his living situation proposition feel more reasonable.
On the topic of things being reasonable and different to what I expected, this may just be because I don’t read much shoujo, and/or because I just recently finished FB in particular, but holy shit did I appreciate the openness Shimana displayed with her emotions. She actually talked about her feelings with people instead of just bottling them up! Obviously she hasn’t really confessed her feelings to Asahi yet, but honestly who can blame her. And even then, she still outright asked him during the test of courage if he has someone he likes, and then when she saw him with that other girl, she plainly asked him if she was his girlfriend. A fucking plus for characters talking to each other about stuff and not just making assumptions and sitting on them for chapters upon chapters that lead to misunderstandings and drama. And it’s just kinda refreshing to get a protagonist like Shimana who is relatively open in talking about romance-related topics, while still not being super confident and forward, and still having relatable insecurities. I also have to respect Asahi for being similarly open about things. I love that he was completely open about saying that even if they’re not dating, he has a crush on that girl. I would have been fine with him hiding it since that’s realistic, but it’s so refreshing to see him be clear and unambiguous about it. This should help minimize any future drama. It was also cute seeing him ask if Shimana wanted to eat lunch with the two of them. Even though I also get why she tried to back off due to not wanting to be some sort of third wheel. Also, I can’t QUITE remember since it’s been a day since I read this, but I remember there being a scene where she talks to Taiga and Zen about her crush on Asahi, and about her wanting to learn more about his preferences and so on. It’s just so nice seeing characters like this who can talk about such things without anyone getting weirdly shamed for their feelings. I also really hope that the story is going where I think it’s going, with the emerging topic of the value of appearance vs personality. Please let this send a message about how being a nice, loving person is more important and valuable than just being pretty. That’d be wonderful. Also, just to fit it in here, I really love Zen’s brand of tsundere, where it mostly comes across as him and Shimana just being close friends who can rib each other back and forth about stuff. He even apologized for one of the more shitty things he said to her as soon as he saw how much she’s going through. I prefer this brand of tsundere to the more rough and violent and edgy kind.The characters in general probably aren’t super unique or memorable for the genre or anything, but they really appeal to my tastes. I love that they’re all just really nice, reasonable people who know how to get along and have fun, while also having some wonderfully snarky back and forths. And obviously I like it when characters lean more toward talking to each other about stuff instead of being moody and quiet and holding onto misinformed assumptions and grudges and so on. I already kinda love Shimana as a protagonist. I get why some people might not like her, but she hits all the right notes for me. Especially since the awkwardness between her and her family, and her angst over all that, has basically been cleared up. I love that she has her own fun, vibrant personality, and can be as much of an active part of conversations as the guys. I like how her torn-up feelings over her mother’s death are portrayed, even though I expect it to never be explored quite as deeply as in something like Fruits Basket. And I already just love her dynamics with all the guys, which I guess I’ll get into when I talk about each one.I’m not even gonna lie, I ADORE Asahi already and I really hope that he’s the one that ends up with Shimana. I mean both ‘options’ are totally fine and I love them both, but I certainly have my preferences. To be blunt, my tastes in romances like this are SUPER vanilla. I know that a lot of people often dislike characters like Asahi who are near-perfect, kind, mellow, smart, etc, and the one that the protagonist already likes from the start with no ‘build-up’, but I’m a sucker for this. I just really like love interests like him. It’s kinda hard to deny that part of it’s because he’s genuinely my type and so I can totally get why Shimana likes him so much. I vividly remember seeing that one panel of him with glasses when the black hair goes away and my reaction was basically just “be still, my beating gay heart”. I will defend this precious boy with my life. But I do also like that we might start seeing a more frustrated, cold side of him as he interacts more with that other girl. There’s some nice contrast going on there. I also really like that he’s studying to be a lawyer, if only because it’s an interest/academic field that I’ve basically never seen a character like him have before, and I’m interested to see if it becomes more important later. [Also I really like his fashion sense. I have a *weakness* for guys wearing ties]Even though I love Asahi a lot already, Zen is just the most adorable thing in the universe. My sweet panda-loving child. I love him. I immediately fell in love with his character design as soon as I saw the cover of volume three. I love that he has a lot of traditionally masculine traits, like his punk aesthetic, his interest in martial arts, etc, but he has absolutely no shame about carrying a plush panda around even in school. The guy has a goddamn full-body panda bear pajama suit. It’s amazing. His plush panda itself is also wonderful in it’s own right. I love how in the new version of the art, there’s a few examples of Takano giving it cute little facial expressions to match Zen. It’s so fucking cute I wanna die. I can totally see why it’s sort of the mascot of the series. Anyway, as said above, I really click with his brand of tsundere. He knows how to treat Shimana like a good friend. I like that his ribbing isn’t just a one-sided thing that she meekly and silently endures, and that she can also poke him right back if she wants. I love that be immediately, profusely apologized for calling her useless once he learned about her family issues. I love that he didn’t even really poke much fun at her for her crush on Asahi. And obviously I love that he never does anything worse than verbal teasing, and I can’t see him doing anything much worse. In terms of his position as the secondary love interest, I’m down with it. He clearly has no chance of being the one she ends up dating, though, so I’m probably just gonna spend this whole thing feeling bad for him. Thankfully it won’t be quite as harsh as Suwa’s entire situation in Orange and how much that poor guy sacrificed for the sake of his friends. I hope that, if he can’t end up with Shimana, he at least finds someone else he can find happiness with.Most of my feelings on Taiga can be summed up with what I said above, about being really refreshed and surprised by how reasonable and non-creepy he is. He’s pretty wonderful thus far. There’s not a whole lot to say thus far, but I’m curious to see how things go as we explore his family situation and his history with Miku. It feels like there’s a lot left to discover with him. Just to get it out from the start, I REALLY hope the story never frames him as a love interest. It hasn’t thus far, at least. And obviously it could be totally fine if it’s executed well. But the power imbalance of their current situation, not to mention their age gap, bothers me a bit too much. Hopefully things just stay the way they are now. We’ll see. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.I don’t have much to say about Miku thus far since she only showed up near the end of the volume, but I can already tell that she’s going to be great. Hopefully she remains a part of the main cast, even if she doesn’t live in the same house [I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t, and that she was just visiting, but I forget]. It’d at least be nice to have a prominent female character for Shimana to befriend. I guess this is also on the note of characters, but it was . . . surprising, to say the least, when I got to the end of the volume where there’s an omake that literally introduces some of the other cast members who have yet to appear. It even specifies which volume they’ll first appear in. Which is really goddamn weird. I don’t dislike it, but it’s weird, and I could see it bothering some people. It’s at least fine by me since I’ve already seen these characters on the later volume covers. But in general I don’t care much about whether or not a character’s general existence is ‘spoiled’ for me. Though seeing Zen’s brother was a surprise since he doesn’t actually seem to appear on any of the covers. So that was new. There’s not really much to say about them all since it was such a short little bonus thing, but I feel like I might dislike Shuu, and I could see myself really enjoying Miura so long as he isn’t a complete asshole. [Also I might just feel silly about saying this if I get ‘proven wrong’ when he appears, but his comment about Taiga’s dad being a stud is making me REALLY hope, in the depths of my gay heart, that he might be bi. I’ve been burned before, though, so we’ll just wait and see].I don’t really have any predictions or anything for where I think things will go. There’s kinda not a lot to go on, which is how these things tend to be. There’s less of an over-arching story/mystery than there was in Fruits Basket, that’s for sure. We’ll just see what happens when it happens. All in all, I pretty much loved this from start to finish. It was pretty damn wonderful. It’s at least nice to read something light and fluffy. I’ve been really needing something like this lately.I’m certainly a bit afraid that, even with my almost entirely positive feelings toward this first volume, there might still be a chance of things crashing and burning later. I’ve definitely heard mixed/ambivalent things regarding this manga, but I’m hoping it’s just a matter of this being a typical shoujo rom-com that lacks the narrative hook and emotional depth of something like Orange, or Fruits Basket, or whatever. Because I’m totally down for ‘typical shoujo rom-com’. That’s what I’m here for. [[I also wouldn’t be surprised if the original art played a part in people preferring Orange. So that shouldn’t be an issue now]]Just to end this off, on the topic of my comparison between this and Fruits Basket, I feel like the best way to describe it is that I feel like Dreamin’ Sun is going to be more ‘consistently level’ than FB. It’s not going to have all of the really good parts of FB that made it such a core staple of the genre that stands the test of time, but it also definitely looks like it won’t have the same issues that I had with FB. So it might not have the same high peaks, but it should avoid some of the pitfalls that caused be to kinda sour on FB a bit by the end.P.S: This is a really subjective and personal point of mine, but at the very least, if there’s any one thing I want, it’s for this manga to avoid actively negative portrayals of queer themes/characters. I really don’t mind if nobody in this is queer, or even if the very concept is never discussed or shown at all, so long as it’s not negative about any of it if it DOES come up. Nothing negative along these lines has happened yet, at least. I’ll say so if anything bad happens later, though. I’d be fine with a base level of silent neutrality, or whatever, but I’d certainly appreciate something a bit more than that, and as I kinda said above, there’s at least one faint glimmer of potential representation, but I’m certainly not going to hold my breath, and if it doesn’t happen, then that’s fine.
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andiamoanna · 7 years
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The Top 4 Reasons To Travel During Low Season (and 3 Reasons Not To!)
Today marks the 4th month that I have been traveling around Central America. I landed in Panama City on February 1st, and just arrived to León, Nicaragua today, June 1st. This means that I’ve seen the best of both worlds here - dry season & rainy season, high tourist season & low tourist season. The dry season (aka high season) usually starts in November and ends in May, which is followed by the rainy season (low season), June through October. Both seasons are great for exploring Central America, however here are my top 4 reasons why low season is better, and a few reasons why it may not be...
1) Less people! 
Traveling during low season means encountering less people along the way. You know what that means? Shorter lines, less crowds, and more room for you to enjoy your trip. The beaches won’t be packed, you can walk right up to ticket counters, and sometimes have a hostel dorm room to yourself! (And I’ll explain why that’s linked to another perk below...) This also means that you can travel much more spontaneously. Want to book your hostel after you get to your destination? Want to reserve another night last minute? You most likely can without worrying about rooms being completely full. Traveling during this season can allow you to live day by day instead of planning ahead week by week or month by month. 
2) It’s cheaper!
Reason #1 goes hand in hand with this next point...you can save more money when traveling during low season. Less people means more demand for guests at hostels and participants on tours! You can easily make a deal with accommodations and lower the price of your room. I was in Ometepe, Nicaragua last week and made a deal with the manager at one of the hotels, Buena Vista. He originally said a single private room is $20 USD a night, but as I was ready to turn and leave he lowered it to $15, and then $10! I happily agreed to $10 a night for my own room, especially after being in a dorm with snoring guests the night before. You can try negotiating all over Central America with hostels and hotels. Some will not budge, but others will practically beg you for business. Same with tour companies and rentals. Many are desperate for customers, and will lower the price as soon as you turn your back! It’s easy to make a deal, and I would encourage you to do so during any time of the year, but especially June - October! You will be able to save quite a few $$$.
3) It’s a little cooler!
(keyword little) Low season means it will be rainy, which means temperatures can cool off a bit. It will still be hot and steamy depending on where you are, but it can feel a bit cooler after the rain starts falling. I am experiencing this now in León, Nicaragua, where it was about 90 degrees fahrenheit all day, and as soon as it rained, the temperature dropped to around 80 degrees. It gives you the relief you need when you’ve been non-stop sweating all day. And not to mention, you get to witness some amazing lightning shows at night!
4) More wildlife, more green, more water!
When you visit any of the various national parks throughout Central America, there will be a noticeable difference between the two seasons. The rainy season brings nature to life, creating a more lush and green atmosphere, with more animals roaming the rainforests and waterfalls fully cascading. You may be put off by the fact that there will be more rain on your trip, but the truth is, it won’t really affect you as much as you think! It usually only rains in the morning or late afternoon/night, and only briefly! It’s unusual for there to be rain all day every day. Traveling during this time will only enhance your experience because you will be able to catch a glimpse of more wildlife and more beautiful landscapes. And, if you are traveling through any of the islands of Central America, like Bocas del Toro in Panama, you will never have to worry about a water shortage. When I was working at a hostel on Isla Bastimentos, there were multiple instances when we ran out of water and had to ration it throughout the day. This could only be a problem during dry season!
Sounds like the perfect season for the backpacker on a budget looking to see the beauty of Central America, am I right?! But nothing is perfect, and I can also explain why you may not want to travel during the low/rainy season...
1) Bugs, bugs, bugs!
During this time, there is definitely an increase in those pesky creatures that bite and sting (and even those that don’t attack but are still equally annoying). We all know mosquitos are the worst, and sadly when it’s rainy season, they are EVERYWHERE! In your room, in your bathroom, in restaurants. It’s unavoidable. When I was in Ometepe, Nicaragua, I was so ready to leave because I had been bitten so badly. I had bites all over my legs, it was awful. And there were so many other bugs wherever you walked. But I think that’s because Ometepe is an island in the middle of a lake. Other cities in Nicaragua like Granada and San Juan del Sur, for example, are less buggy. If you’re going to be spending a lot of time in nature near lakes and jungles, then you’re going to have to stock up on bug spray and citronella. However, if you’re staying by the ocean or bigger cities, you won’t suffer nearly as much. 
2) Ghost town
Although traveling when there’s less people is a plus, it also has its downsides. Sometimes during low season the nightlife can be kind of...dead. Dance floors aren’t as packed and streets aren’t as crowded. It doesn’t have the same vibes as high season, especially during a holiday like Semana Santa (Holy Week, similar to spring break), when you’re surrounded with parties and festivals. However, certain events throughout Central America will still be packed no matter what time of year (Sunday Funday, Filthy Friday, etc.) And it depends what you’re into - if you are a huge partier, then high season will be best for you. But if you’re a more chill traveler who doesn’t necessarily want to drink 24/7, then low season may be better. There’s also the issue of tour groups - yes, less crowds is better, but it can cost you more when booking certain tours. For example, my friend had trouble booking a tour to climb Volcán Concepción in Ometepe because he needed a group of at least 3 people. If not, he would have to pay more and be on his own to hike the 5,200 ft beast. In the end, he couldn’t find a group and decided not to do it. So he missed out on an opportunity that he probably could have had in high season.
3) Less opportunities to volunteer/work
If you are interested in volunteering or working at a hostel, bar, or other type of business while you’re traveling, it would be better to try during high season. During low season, hostels and businesses have less of a demand for volunteers because it’s so slow, and some even have fewer hours or close for a month or two. I was fortunate to find a position at Bubba’s House, a hostel in Bocas del Toro, for a month and a half in March & April. However, when I was asking around San Juan del Sur in mid-May if anyone was hiring, I got a resounding no. There are always exceptions - some hostels are still in need of volunteers and you can always count on sites like workaway. But, it takes a little more digging to find what you’re looking for. 
So there you have it! My pros and cons list of traveling during low season in Central America. I hope you enjoyed reading, and please check back soon for more tips and tricks that I’ve learned throughout my travels! 
--» Anna
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