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whyareyouhere66 · 2 years

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Benny Rodriguez x Male Reader- Do It Again

Benny Rodriguez x Reader

Male reader

Fluff, a little angst

Summary/background info: Y/n has had a crush on Benny for a while now. He met them (the sandlot boys) a few years back, and now they go to the sandlot everyday to play baseball together. Eventually y/n caught feelings, but he never said anything because being gay was frowned upon in their town. Until one day when he lets it slip.

A little shitty- this is an older one lol

"Alright, we'll all go back to change and then meet up at the pool, alright?" we all nodded in understanding at the red headed boy, before turning and running off towards our houses.

"Oh man I can't wait to get to the pool, its freaking boiling out here!" whined Squints. I chuckled and nodded. "I know, if we hadn't convinced Benny to let us go I probably would've fainted by now" agreed Ham.

Ham, Squints and I were all neighbors, so we'd stay with each other the longest when walking around. We soon got to our houses, and I saw my older brother sitting on the porch. "see ya guys at the pool" I said, before jogging up to my fence. "you're back early." Henry greeted, getting up from his spot on the porch.

"We're headed to the pool, got too hot." I said, opening the door and entering the satisfyingly-cold house. "Ah, I see"

I walked through the house before arriving to my room. I quickly put on my swim suit, and grabbed a random towel from the shelf before running out the door.

"Have fun squirt!"

"Quit calling me that!"

****

"Hi..I remember you...oh, sexy..." Ham mumbled, walking in front of a large group of girls sitting besides the pool. He stopped by the edge of the water, and began to "flex" his muscles. "He's never gonna quit is he.." I said in amusement, and Benny chuckled behind me. "here comes the cannonball" Kenny warned, and we all turned just in time to see the large splash scaring away all the girls.

I burst out laughing, joined by the others, and Ham swam up to us after resurfacing. "You sure know how to get em Ham!" Bertram said sarcastically, and Ham just scoffed. "Oh shut it, besides, they have no idea what they're missing..."

"Not much, I can tell you that" Yeah yeah remarked, and Ham splashed him harshly. "Hey!!" This caused a domino affect, and within a minute we all were splashing around like idiots. This however, was short lived as Squints began to float away from the rest of us. Out of curiousity, the rest of us followed and I found myself looking up at the one and only- Wendy Peffercorn.

"aw man..."

"yeah yeah, too cruel...."

"she don't know what shes doing.."

I looked at them weirdly, confused. It was just a girl, I mean sure she was attractive, but they were acting like goons. "Yeah she does, she knows exactly what she's doing.." Benny said from next to me, and I could feel my heart sink a little.

I knew he would never like me back, he probably didn't even like guys.

But it was still disappointing. I had liked him for at least 2 years- but I never dared say anything. Being gay was pretty frowned upon in my town. No one besides me knew I was into men. And we were gonna keep it that way. If anyone found out it'd be game over.

And don't even get me started on my parents. While they never directly said anything about it, I could assume from my grandparents they wouldn't be fond about it.

So I kept it to myself. No one had to know. Maybe one day when Im older it will be more accepted, and I could get a boyfriend of my own. But for now I didn't want to risk it.

But it was getting harder and harder- it seems like everyday my crush on Benny just grows. I tried so hard to ignore but it just seemed to be there in the back of my mind, all the time. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Squints. "I can't take it anymore!" He began to swim away, and I watched him curiously. 'where the hell is he going?'

He got out of the pool, and made his way towards...the diving board?

"Whats wrong with him?" Smalls asked curiously. "Guess after 3 summers of this he finally snapped." shrugged Bertram, but I didn't take my eyes off the diving board. "I dont know, but thats the deep end and Squints can't swim!!"

yep, there it is. Realization finally started to hit everyone, and we all rushed towards the edge of the pool.

The next few minutes- which felt like hours- were a blur. A mess of yelling, and everyone crowding around the boy and the lifeguard. I watched nervously as Wendy performed CPR on my friend. Around me the other boys were yelling out things to Squints- as if he could hear them. It wasnt until I felt something warm on my hand that I looked away.

I looked down to see Benny grabbing my hand anxiously. A bold blush spread across my face, but I shook my head. 'your friend is drowning Y/n, save the gay for later'.

Finally, I saw Squints open his eyes. I shot him a confused look, to which he returned with a wink. He closed his eyes again, back to the dead. After a moment he reached up and grabbed the back of Wendy's head, pushing her down and kissing her passionately. All of us stood there shocked, as Wendy broke away and began screaming.

"You little pervert!!"

"Aw man hes in some deep shit!!"

****

"Damn, what a day."

I chuckled, my gaze staying on the sky above me. "I know right." Benny sighed next to me, closing his eyes. We both were laying in the same position, with our hands behind our heads and our backs against the cold roof tile of my house.

We would normally come up here, specifically in the summer. It was like our own little thing.

We laid there in silence for a bit more, not saying much. It was a comfortable silence, but there was something in the back of my mind that just kept bothering me. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them with my arms .

Benny glanced up at me. "You good?" I stayed silent for another minute. "So you really like Wendy, huh?" With this he sat up from his previous position, and looked at me oddly. "What do you mean?" I shrugged. "I dont know, at the pool and everything. The way you talked and looked at her, seems like you like her."

He chuckled. "Eh, I don't know. Not really my type." Confused, I turned to look at him. "Really?"

He shrugged. "I mean she's attractive, yeah, but that doesn't really mean I like her." He said, looking up at the sky again. I nodded and returned my gaze to the tile of my roof once again. I was curious, and confused. He spoke about her so weirdly at the pool, only to say shes not his type? I hesitated, but eventually built up the courage to ask. "So who do you like?"

He looked away from the sky, and turned to me. Our eyes met and I blushed, and I only hoped he wouldn't be able to see. "Why do you wanna know?" He asked, an amused grin visible on his face. The blush grew on my face as I became flustered, racking my brain for the right words to say. "U-uh, I dont know. you said you dont like Wendy so-"

Benny laughed again. Oh how I loved that laugh. "Calm down man- its fine. And if you really wanna know- I do have a person on my mind." I nodded again. "Who is she?" I asked, and he turned to me. "Bold of you to assume its a she." He said confidently.

I was slightly taken aback by this. I always thought he was straight, and here he was, basically coming out to me. And so confidently too. "what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "But I thought you liked girls?"

"And I thought Phillips had more then one braincell at one time. I was wrong." I laughed at his comment, and he smiled. "That's fair" I said, my laughing coming to a slow stop. His gaze stayed on me, and I looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "...what?"

He shrugged, smile not fading and eyes never moving. "Nothing." He said, chuckling a bit and looking away

"What do you mean nothing-"

"I mean nothing!"

"Dude you're staring at me, what, do I have something on my face or-"

He cut me off by leaning forward and cupping my face with his hands. I instantly shut up, flustered at the action. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes moving from my eyes, down to my lips, and back to my eyes. I swallowed nervously. "B-Benny?"

He didn't speak, just continued to look at me. "You".

"What?"

"You. That's who I like, not Wendy." I widened my eyes in shock as the words left his mouth. "Wait really?" He also seemed slightly nervous, as he looked away trying to avoid eye contact. It took me a minute to process what he said, millions of thoughts racing through my brain. I finally built up the courage to speak.

"I like you too."

His eyes widened, and he finally looked at me. A smile was evident on his features, even in the dark. "For real?!" I smiled and nodded, my heart swelling in my chest. Without another word, he moved his head forward. Next thing i knew I could feel his lips on mine, and his other hand had made its way onto my face.

Without a second thought I kissed him back meaningly. I had been waiting years to do this, and let me tell you it was even better then I had imagined. After another minute he pulled away, panting slightly. I did the same, smiling like a mad man.

He rested his forehead against mine and we sat there for a minute, enjoying the silence and the moment.

"Man, I've been waiting to do that for 2 years." Benny said, and I chuckled. "I've been waiting to do that for 3 years, and boy am I glad it happened."

He smiled at me, before replying.

"Well then, let's do it again."

#benny rodriguez x reader #benny rodriguez #the sandlot #the sandlot 1992 #the sandlot x reader #benny Rodriguez x male reader #male reader #hurt/comfort

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beyondthisdarkhouse · 2 years

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Ok, your post about the Celtic burial with the adorably-repaired Greek lion cauldron came across my dash, and I just have to ask - is your URL on this blog an intentional Guy Kay reference? And if so, do you have good Guy Kay blogs recs? He’s my favorite author of all time and I feel like he’s desperately underrepresented on my dash.

Yes, it absolutely is! And the short answer is, alas, I do not know any good GGK blogs.

Beyond this Dark House is my favourite poem, found when I was living in Calgary, breaking my heart. There was a boy I'd once driven from Edmonton to Saskatoon in four hours flat just to see who didn't love me enough, or in the way I wanted, and also I wasn't ready to be loved, which was its own kind of tragedy.

So it caught me with its prairie soul, the knowledge of the richness of life and also that things die out here and take a long long time to fade, all

The shortest night wheels past this window, stars dropping behind the trees.

Somewhere there are bonfires for St John, somewhere fires for the summer king.

It's so late. For this, for everything, for being still awake beside a window

And then the lines I took for my blog:

Beyond this dark house a train is running away into the night plain. We've all had dreams break fantasies we shaped.

I dragged the boy I was in love with and a few other friends to GGK's book tour pit stop in Calgary, where I was savagely disappointed by how badly he read a sample of Ysabel. Displayed no talent for vocal performance at all. Read almost as if he didn't know how the sentences would end, in a bad way. But you know what, we're human. Everyone's allowed to have flaws.

So the answer about GGK blogs is... I don't seek them out, and don't particularly want to be fannish about them on Tumblr. Some books are like that; some I want to shout about like I've been doing about Tamsyn Muir's Nona the Ninth on @with-my-murder-flute for the last two weeks, and some I just want to take back to my secret cave and devour them where other people can't see.

I love The Fionavar Tapestry with my entire soul, but not my entire brain, and that's uncomfortable. It's a discomfort I'm especially not up to addressing on Tumblr, because like... I don't love how tied he is to a paradigm of queerness being weighed down by heteronormativity, so that queerness is salacious and risqué or just societally sidelined and we don't address the pain that causes because everyone just takes that for granted. But I also think in some senses it's a more accurate reflection of the past than modern queer-positive fantasy, and it's important and useful to keep around reminders of what the world before gay liberation was like. I will candidly admit that I don't actually want to praise him unconditionally and hold him up as an author I would recommend to everybody. He's problematic, you know? I think a lot of his books are him trying to approach a concept, and only capturing it in wisps, and that's especially true when he tries to write about sex and gender relations.

But, the thought of sitting through Tumblr discourse about how he's homophobic and bad gay representation/not homophobic at all and very important and validating actually? Gag me with a spoon. I hate doing that about media I'm enthused with but have no personal stake in, so doing it with something I love so intimately, with pieces of my soul poured into the honeycomb of its matrix, would be torture. When I was fourteen, The Summer Tree convinced me that I'd have a life outside the depression that was crushing me like a stone. It showed me how to imagine a future for myself. I really don't want that tangled up in Tumblr wrangles.

Oh, I do have a fic rec: the late legionseagle wrote The Road Goes Ever On and On, a non-Ysabel-compliant story about a Toronto cop who can't get past the old cold missing persons case of Jennifer Lowell.

And several times a winter, especially when the icicles start to melt, I look up and chant to myself,

Too much of Greece can sear the soul. I am a northern man. Where I come from the sky is wide and far away and March is mired in snow.

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shallowbreaths · 1 year

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“You still love me.” He said the words as if they were an absolute and undeniable fact.

“No” she said back, but it came out as if she were trying to convince herself of it more than anyone else. “I really don’t.”

He smiled. “Sure you do. I can feel it. There’s this silver thread that connects our hearts and makes it impossible to lie to one another. Sure, the words can be said, but we know. I, for instance, know you’re lying to me just as clearly as you always knew I was lying to you. This is you trying to deny it to yourself because you’re certain I must be a million different things and none of them are good for you. But you can feel it. You know how you felt. Deep down you still feel it. Do you remember saying you liked having me as your secret fairy? and I asked if you were calling me gay? You laughed. Even now you smile, and I know you remember. I was a secret for a reason. You didn’t want to be tricked, but you knew I was lying and somehow you hoped I could make it real.”

He moved to within a couple feet of her. “Why can’t you believe it was the same for me? I knew it couldn’t work! I knew you’d reject me. I knew I’d be heartbroken when you left, but it didn’t matter why you were going to leave, only that you were, so I clung to what would keep you there, and the entire time I HOPED I could make it real as well! First though, I’d have to be honest, and I’d have to hope I was wrong and you wouldn’t reject me. I wanted you to love me as I am. It wasn’t about tricking you, or even about what you’d think or feel. I wasn’t trying do anything but keep you one more day… I fucking loved you. I’m an ass. I was so wrong, and what I did would be horrific if it hadn’t been from a point of true love. It doesn’t justify it, I know that, but I was crazy in love with you, and my thoughts were crazy, and my dreams were crazy, and my hope was crazy. I throw myself at your mercy because what I did was done by reason of insanity, and it was terribly wrong, but I’m STILL crazy in love with you. I have run from it. I have tried to hide from it. I’ve tried to drink it away. I’ve tried praying it away. I’ve tried drugs to addle my mind. When I think of you I can hear your voice. I can remember your laugh. I can remember every moment. I’ve tried denying it to myself, but I no longer can. These things I feel are not just from me. They travel down that silver thread to my heart, and from my heart, and I can feel you as if you were here. I know you still love me. Must you continue to punish us both?” He asked. It may have been rather charming had he said such a thing once. Perhaps it would be now had he been another man, but he wasn’t.

She looked him straight in the eyes. Then her beautiful lips parted and out slipped these words. “Let’s say you’re right. Let’s say I still think of you. That I still love the words and memories with the same intensity as I ever did. So what? What am I to do with that? Forgive you? I’ve tried, but the silver thread you speak of is wrapped around my throat. Your lies and deceit were a dagger in my heart. A heart that had swollen to a thousand times its size with love for you. I would have given anything for you. Done anything for you. You were my secret and yes, I had always wondered if it wasn’t all a lie, but I loved you too. So I gave you the only thing I could. My trust. My love. My faith. I hoped you were man enough to be honest with me, and maybe if you had then I would see you differently and then I could accept you as you are, but you never gave me the chance. Then your lies stabbed me and my heart bled out over you. Does it still feel for you? What if it did? You destroyed it. Even if it could be resuscitated, what use is it? To love you once again? A liar? A thief? Would you really want that kind of man for me?”

His eyes dropped. “Look at me!” She said, and he did. “You are telling me you still love me with that same crazy love, but if you do, then would you, as a person who loves me so very much, want me to get entangled with a liar? A thief? And a cheat?” She stared at him. After a moment he slowly shook his head from side to side. “I bare you no ill will.” She said. “I hope you find happiness. I hope you find a good life. I hope you can learn to love yourself and maybe even another. I truly do, because I love you and that’s what my love is about. I am a good person, and I love others, you included, but I would truly have to be crazy to get involved with you again in even the slightest of ways. I can never trust you again, and what use is even the greatest of love without trust? I gave it to you and you destroyed it. I have nothing more to offer you.”

She turned and walked away. There was no malice in her words, but they cut like a razor. The truth is often like that. His eyes grew blurry from tears. He needed her and wanted her so badly, but crazy or not, he was no fool, and he knew her words had dripped with logic and truth. It wasn’t the rejection in them that hurt, but the undeniable certainty that there was nothing left to do. There was no escape from the consequences he’d brought upon them both. She was right in everything she said, and no, he wouldn’t advise her to offer a man such as him the least of her moments, much less her love and trust. It was like he could see down that silver thread and out through her eyes, and he could feel what she felt when she looked at him. He could feel her love, and he could feel how it kept a part of her caged. He could feel the fact that she could never trust him again, even though she longed for him as well. Two people who were terribly in love, and would never again be together because even love can not get that fantastical or crazy.

#mine

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anissapierce · 2 years

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Rewatched Fire island while sewing patches into the inside of the thighs of my work jeans and trying to distract myself from the fact that ill be alone in the house for a month with me and the dogs and i paid special attn to max

So here are some notes about the movie n max thoughts.

:readmore:

So they all met in Williamsburg, keegan and luke were the only ones who knew each other before. We Dont know wht jobs Max,Keegan and Luke have.

Max seems pretty ... Neo-liberal? Noah describes him as "sweet" and "supersmart" but "a little uptight"

The Atwood memoir he's reading is important to note but he's probably the most... Well academically book smart than the rest and i don't think from what we know about his character that he was reading it bc he agrees w her politics or worldview. He is actually the first person we see call into question the fact that noah is kowtowing to norms by maintaining the body he does . "why would you confirm to this community's toxic body standards?" noah as the narrator agrees with him and owns up to being a "class traitor".

"and this why straight people hate us" hints towards max himself buying into the structure of respectability politics but honestly im not reading too much into the line because its often something tht lgbt folks will throw around without actually meaning it.

"its actually a logistical nightmare if you want to fuck on this island,at least if you want to do it indoors,no privacy anywhere"

This plus generally everything else show that Max is a private person,giving a narrative reason why we nvr see him kiss,fawn or fuck anybody onscreen. That doesn't excuse that Max is a part of a long line of characters who are desexualized for being Fat,Black and/or Gay,in Max's case him being all three is pretty rare in film or tv but its not rare for characters that are like him to not get fleshed out narratively.

"have you heard of ticks? How bout their best friends? Lyme disease" is why he doesn't wanna fuck outdoors so we know hes prudent

"oh my god i think i saw a tick in my room"

He is technically the reason that Noah's phone ends up in the pool bc he does come running out of the house and bumping into him. But i do like the fact that Noah trying to convince everyone to look on the bright side means he doesnt seem angry or even resentful of Max?

"itll give you the chance to unplug from social media" Max trying to look on the bright side is pretty sweet considering the others responses are pretty blaming (Luke) or just kind of offering sad looks.

Says a lot that his response to "the island will always be there, " is: "except for the whole climate change thing". Like if something being said and it isnt true he is going to speak up abt it. ( I think there is an issue of the Fat friend in various media being the buttoned up bookish school marm type)

"im not sure this is what the gay liberation front imagined for us" another line of him judging others based on respectability politics

" I texted him but it went to green, maybe hes right although you're more likely to be murdered in your own home" Max being the one to text him when he was off his mind the night before on who-knows-what shows that he's probably the one whos usually rallying the troops n making sur everyone got home safe. (Esp considering the fact tht he usually doesnt partake in the drugs that the rest of the guys do)

Once again cant help dropping tidbits, trying to reassure the others and himself that howie probably wasnt murdered statistically speaking.

"Calm down Bernie Sanders i love the pantry small businesses are the lifeblood of this country " probably the most neo-lib weve heard him get but he doesn't object to luke n keegan stealing so like , he's prob more left leaning than his lines indicate

"we have to go direct sunlight...raw chicken..."

Good to know that someone is paying attention to food safety

"i didnt prepare for an extra person so ..." And hes annoyed about dex being invited over?

"not you two salivating over a basic white guy again "

Love Max as the voice of a pragmatic audience member

A random note but luke is shown in the bg of the getting ready scene gesturing to Noah to see how he should take the G..... And uhh he disregards noah gesturing differently. So that explains a lil that they planted the seed of Luke getting beyond fucked up

#drugs -#fire island talk tag

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ichorai · 3 years

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the devil's queen ; k.yr

pairing ; forest queen!yeri x devil!reader (gender-neutral)

summary ; in which the queen of the forest seeks out the devil’s help after accidentally turning her husband to stone.

themes ; fantasy, slight fluff and angst, royalty au, devil au, magic au, forest au (?), forbidden love au

words ; 4.2k

warnings / includes ; devils obv, mentions of divorce and a loveless marriage, uhm yeri turns her husband into stone, one mention of angels, teasing banter, an absurd amount of description because yeri is gorgeous and i can't help myself, both yeri and reader are little shits, kissy kiss kiss at the end </3

a/n ; my first gg fic :D i'm rlly excited for this one !! i'm literally in love with yeri so i'm so happy to finally post this ! thank you to @doievoir for beta reading <3 also thanks to @subways-stuff and @koocycle for being gay with me :(

masterlist. | milestone celebration.

The stone of the balcony’s railing beneath the forest queen’s fingertips was just slightly cold to the touch, mellowed by the night’s sweet breeze. Her face, dappled by the moon’s gentlest luminescence, bore a somber expression, only managing to mask the panic she truly felt by a thread of her being. Pale was her dress, and paler her skin became as she grew clammy with unease. The sheer, opal chiffon of her skirts grazed the balcony floor with faint kisses in accordance to Yeri’s ceaseless fidgeting. And because of her restless movements, the intricate leaf crown propped atop her temple was now slightly askew, placed awkwardly amongst her perfectly-curled tendrils.

From where you were standing, watching the queen, worry etched into her soft features, you almost felt a shred of pity. The keyword being almost. Devils rarely ever felt remorse.

You took this opportunity to look around the queen’s chambers. After all, it wasn’t every day that you’re summoned by a woman of such importance, much less the queen of the forest herself. Gorgeous vines twisted up marble columns, white flowers scattered across the greenery. Every which way you looked, there were at least five potted plants ranging from minuscule succulents to large ferns longer than your own arm span. Even the bed had a canopy of iridescent petals and glossy leaves.

“You must really enjoy nature,” you quipped, taking slight amusement in the way Yeri jumped at the sound of your voice, spinning around with a hand on her chest. “Looks to be bordering on obsession, actually…”

The queen, having come down from her initial shock, looked upon you with a quizzical eyebrow. “I called you to help me, not to make comments on my lifestyle.” She waved her fingers in the air, conjuring a thick vine that wrapped around her waist as if it were a snake. “Besides, I’m the queen of the forest. It would be more bewildering to find my chamber void of natural elements.”

A toothy grin so wide it made you look sinister graced your lips, and you bowed your head slightly. Yeri, much to her dismay, couldn’t tell if the action was genuine or mocking.

“I like that you feel the need to defend yourself against the devil. Makes me feel somewhat of importance,” you uttered the words with a simple-minded hum, eyes glowing with mirth. “Which brings me to ask… why have you called me here?”

The silence was suffocating as she strode up towards you, an almost defiant look glazing over her irises. She was so close that you could detect a hint of her sweet scent; an intoxicating concoction of apricots and grass and the slight tang of the air just before it rained. A tad too refreshing for your taste, but it suited her well.

On the other hand, Yeri found that you were as warm as a walking fireplace, and smelled as if you had doused yourself in cinnamon and musky cologne. Though it wasn’t necessarily an awful aroma, it was most definitely strong and caught her off guard. Who knew the devil would radiate the odor of a popular dessert spice?

Yeri’s steps slowed down once she was just in front of you, near enough that her soft skirts brushed against your dress pants. You noted the way her breathing seemed to hitch, teeth slightly tugging at the plushness of her bottom lip in hesitancy. What was she waiting for?

And with a deep exhale, she reached somewhere behind you with the speed of lightning, as if she wanted to get this over and done with. Her fingers curled tightly around a fistful of white cloth cloaking a large mass, tugging on it with a mild grunt. You spun on your heel with an arched eyebrow, watching with suppressed curiosity.

As you beheld the sight, expression unfaltering, Yeri buried her face in her hands, practically vibrating in stagnant shame. You wondered if she was crying, but found that her face was dry when she pulled herself away from her palms. Either she was trying too hard to feel the comforting weight of sadness, or she was lying to herself about caring.

It was most likely the latter. The thought brought a smile to your face.

A chiseled statue stood in front of the both of you. Opal in color and sculpted with perfect body proportions, your smile melded into an intrigued frown.

“I know,” Yeri whispered without turning back to look at you. “I’m a monster.”

“Don’t call yourself a monster in front of the devil, it’s unbecoming,” you snorted in contempt. Then, you gestured limply towards the statue. “I don’t even know what this is. Did you call me here to show off an artsy escapade of yours? I’ve got far more important things to do, you know.” ‘Important things’ really meant watching two crows fight over a moldy baguette down in the village streets. You might’ve been the devil, but that didn’t necessarily mean you were busy all the time.

Disdain colored her words as she hissed out, “I turned my husband to stone,” rouge laced her cheekbones as she quickly added on, almost an afterthought, “by accident.”

Oh? You clasped your hands together behind you, rocking back and forth on your heels. Now you were starting to see the resemblance, recalling the forest queen’s marriage to a man whose only facial expression seemed to be stoically indifferent. “My, my,” you crooned glibly, “what an interesting turn of events. Are you sure it was an accident?”

The forest queen clearly didn’t take your teasing lightly.

“I didn’t even know I could,” she said in an icy tone, glancing down at her hands, one still fisted in the coversheet. After a moment’s pause, she spoke up again, turning towards you. “But I need him back.”

A guffaw slipped past you as you wrinkled your nose in distaste. “That’s no fun at all. You want me to bring him back? Your moronic oaf of a husband? I’m sure you could find a new one with the snap of a finger. Besides, it’s better to keep him this way. He seems far more intelligent as stone.”

Having said your fill and satisfied with the fuming look Yeri wore, you spun on your heel, about to head out of the castle and run your other devil errands.

A bright flower of consternation unfurled within her ribcage, and the forest queen found herself hurrying forward, curling her fingers around the wrist of the subject of her torment. Almost immediately, she let go, partly from shock at her own actions, but mostly from the fact that your skin was borderline scalding. You are the devil, after all. Yeri should have been more careful.

“Do you forget who I am?” she hissed nonetheless, glowering at your unturned back, her tone swimming in a pool of severity.

At her question, you whirled around to look upon her in bemusement.

“I’m the queen of the forest!”

You nodded just slightly. “So you’ve mentioned.”

Mouth agape and nose twitching slightly in an attempt to contain her umbrage, she whispered out, almost bristling in hostility, “Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Finally catching on, I see.” You flashed her wink, crossing your arms over your chest and leaning forward. “Let me make one thing clear. You may be a queen, but you are not my queen. I haven’t forgotten who you are to the mortals, but I feel you’ve forgotten who I am.”

A genuinely wounded look found its way sprawled across her soft features. She struggled to find her voice for a minute, before turning her head away to gaze upon the moon in shame.

“What can I do to convince you?”

Though the words were quiet, you could still detect the stubborn tenacity interwoven through the question.

Instead of answering her inquiry, you retaliated with one of your own.

“Did you love him?”

Her face snapped back to you, frozen in incredulity. “What?” she asked, furrowing her perfect brows.

“Did you love him?” you repeated, this time rolling your eyes to the leafy canvas obscuring the ceiling. “You need not lie to me. I’ll know.”

With a shred of hesitancy clinging onto her, she uttered lowly, “No. It was a diplomatic marriage… he’s the crown prince of the ice mountains. And I need him back before anybody notices. You understand why I have to have him back, don’t you? This could cause a war.”

“A little foolish of you to ask a devil to prevent a war, don’t you think? We live for chaos,” you susurrated into her ear, circling her like a predator would their prey. Yeri flushed at your words. “Pray tell, why didn’t you ask an angel? Why come to me?”

She drew herself to her full height, almost as if sizing you up. You grinned at that. What an interesting character she was. “I was ashamed of myself. I didn’t want an angel to know of my mistake. Angels judge, and devils are used to despicable acts far worse than what I did. Of course I had to go with the latter.”

It was silent for a moment, the leaves rustling with the cold breeze. “Smart girl,” you hummed, impressed. Yeri cleared her throat, evidently flustered.

With a flick of your hand, the statue’s marble hue slowly faded away, color returning to the forest queen’s husband. A gasp left her throat, and she scurried across the room, almost tripping over the wisps of her skirt in the process. The prince of the ice mountains fell to the floor just as his feet loosened up, and he looked as if he had woken up from a horrid sleep, a dumbfounded expression masking his usually stoic features.

He looks stupid, you thought to yourself as Yeri knelt down beside him. Why would she choose him of all people?

“Have fun being married to somebody you don’t love,” you called out to the couple.

Yeri glanced upwards, a ‘thank you’ just on the tip of her tongue. But when she looked towards where you had been standing, there was nobody there. The wind whistled in your absence, and everything suddenly felt cold.

The forest was quiet as Yeri stormed through. The leaves stopped whispering, the birds halted their chirps, and the rivers grew muted. She was livid, so much so that small wildflowers the color of winter unconsciously sprouted in her furious trail. There were tear tracks forming rivulets down the apples of her cheeks, but they were long dried. She was too angry to cry now.

You danced your fingers along the bark of the branch you were sitting on, swinging your legs in bemusement as you watched the Queen bask in her fury.

Your landing from tree to ground made naught a sound, but Yeri seemed to sense that you were already there, for her shoulders squared and her chin lifted. Perhaps she wanted to look as if she had at least some semblance of her life put together in front of you. You weren’t quite sure why she bothered; you already knew she was in shambles.

Today she wore a plain sage button dress, the fabric flaring softly at her hips and arms. The skirt reached just below her knees; a considerate choice seeing as she was trudging through mud and foliage of all sorts. A white cloth was tied about her temple, keeping gorgeous locks of dark ebony from falling into her tempestuous eyes. She was a stunningly beautiful woman, and seeing her angry conjured a queer elation within you. What’s gotten her so riled up this time?

With outstretched arms, you beamed at her scowl. “Regretting asking me to free your husband from his stony confines? I did warn you against it, did I not?”

She folded her arms over her chest. “Forgive me for choosing not to trust the devil.”

“You’re a hypocrite,” you said in a sing-song tone. “You chose to trust me the moment you asked me to fix your poor husband. What is it you want from me now? Did you call me to turn him back to stone this time?”

An affronted look colored her already-miffed features a twisted hue. She seemed to relax just slightly when she realized that you were just jesting, as you always were.

“He wants me to move out of the forest. Permanently.” She angled her face away from you so you couldn’t see the turmoil raging within her. It was fruitless, because you saw right through her words. “Says the icy mountains are far better than this infernal place.”

The unexpected sensation of your warm hands on Yeri’s shoulders conjured what felt like an inferno raging within her ribcage. The devil was touching her. Why wasn’t she mad about it?

“Divorce him,” you said, almost nonchalantly. “You don’t love him. Why stay married?”

“I told you,” she shot back in exasperation, trying her damned hardest not to look down at your hands encasing her shoulders, just a thin layer of green fabric separating bare skin to skin contact, “for diplomatic-!”

“Oh, screw diplomacy. You don’t even want to go outside of the forest. What’s the point of staying married to him?” Your words were sharp, a dagger of truth cleaving right through her skull. It was a good point you made, and it made the queen furious to know that you’ve got her beat.

Yeri was starting to think that your ability to constantly put a damper on her mood was a mastered talent. Have you had a lot of experience belittling people? She presumed the answer was yes; the devil didn’t belong only to her, this was undeniably so. Sin was an attractive flavor to mankind. Was it greedy to want the raw form of wrongdoing all to herself?

Plunged into a cavern of her own agitation, she didn’t even notice you releasing her to pace circles around the forest queen. “He doesn’t love you either, just so you know,” you whispered from behind, causing her to startle with a wince, “especially not after that rocky stunt you pulled, hm?”

Something akin to amusement danced in Yeri’s gaze as she turned her head to peer at you. It flickered away just as quickly as it came. “You’re mean,” she said dryly.

“I know, it’s kind of my job.” You rocked back and forth on your heels, leaning against the trunk of a large tree. “So why did you call me back?”

Yeri dithered for just a moment. “I don’t have anybody else to talk to.” With such a shameful statement, you were pleasantly surprised to see how she managed to say it in such a leveled tone.

“And so you came to the devil for mild chit chat?”

She bowed her head. “I did, yes. Do you have an issue with that?”

You shook your head with a slight smile. It was a truthful response; you quite enjoyed studying Yeri’s mannerisms and turmoils.

A stoic expression crossed her elegant visage as she nodded at you, and then proceeded to turn away, striding out of the forest with naught another word more, tendrils of hair fluttering airily with each step.

News of the forest queen’s divorce to the prince of the ice mountains spread quicker than a royal archer’s arrow. Some said she did so in a spectacle of dramatic tears and ring-throwing. Others gossipped that she slipped away into the woods with only a mere note to inform the prince of what was going on. And the most popular story going around was Yeri proclaiming the divorce void of any emotion, ignoring the prince when he dropped to his knees and begged her to stay.

Knowing both parties of the couple, you were sure that all three spin-offs were far from the truth.

Your suspicions were confirmed when Yeri called you back again, this time with a hint of a grin tracing her lips, a startling contrast to the previous two times she’s called you over. The duality of this woman, you thought with a shake of your head.

“What is it this time?” you asked with an annoyed facade, though it was clearly only skin-deep, for the curiosity swimming in your irises betrayed your true stand.

The queen in front of you was wearing a dress of black silk, flowing and cinching in all the right places. A white and canary flower hanging loosely from her ear, a vast juxtaposition from the darkness of her ensemble. She was the true epitome of allure.

“Black to look like you’re mourning to the simple-minded common folk,” you observed, “but the daffodil symbolizes a new, hopeful beginning. You’re not at all upset about your divorce.”

The corners of her carmine lips curled upwards. “Smart devil,” she replied, referencing back to when you had called her just the same. Devils weren’t ones to be flustered, but you supposed that was the closest thing to how you were feeling at the moment. Masking was a true talent of yours, however, because Yeri seemed not to notice at all. “I called you because I’m lonely.”

“It’s one thing after another with you, huh?” Your words lacked any bite, and you found yourself chuckling while threading your fingers through your hair. “Looking for an affair the same day you get divorced isn’t usually customary for humans. I’m not complaining, though,” you mumbled with a roguish grin, stepping closer to her and gently running the tips of your fingers against her forearms. You pointedly ignored the way the saccharine apple aroma she practically dripped of made you dizzy.

She drew a mock gasp at what you were insinuating, placing her frigid palms on your shoulders to push you back in a playful manner.

“So is it me you want or would you like me to brainwash someone to come and take pity on you?”

Dark irises rolled the leafy ceiling of her bedroom. “What if I asked you to stay?” Despite you barking out a laugh, she continued on. “I don’t need somebody else.”

Eyes flashing something dangerous, you drew yourself up to full height. “Don’t jest.”

“I’m not jesting.”

You knew she wasn’t, but you took a step backwards anyways. Much to your astonishment, she boldly rivaled that with her own foot propelling her forwards. Closer, ever so close.

“Why do you want to fraternize with the devil?”

“Why do you keep coming back whenever I call you?” she shot back quickly, leaning forward just as your spine brushed against a poster of her canopy bed. “I’m not giving you anything in return.”

The words had you reeling for some sort of witty comeback, but for the first time in your eons of life, a human had you dumbfounded. Why were you coming back?

“I…” you gaped at her earnest countenance. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” she echoed your words, almost smug.

Quiet unease filled the silence between you, and you narrowed your lids into slits. With but a gentle whistle of wind, the devil dissolved into a mass of shadows and glowing clementine-hued embers, leaving the queen alone in her chambers once more.

When the seasons change, it wasn’t a shift that happened overnight, but a feat that came with the patience of moons. Earth took its time in conversion, as did everything else. Time was a universal language everybody understood; unchangeable, solidary in its flow, ruthless and unforgiving.

Devils were no exception.

It took you time to come back to Yeri. You weren’t very sure how long. The stars shifted and the sun dipped past the horizon countless times while you waited for an answer to a question you never had the courage to ask. Quite pathetic of the devil, wasn’t it?

When the forest queen called for you a fourth time, you were tempted to decline.

But you found yourself teleporting without a second thought, materializing in a haze of dull light by the corner of her cavernous chambers.

Yeri watched from across the room. The beige turtleneck she wore clung to her like a second skin, a sheer corset cinched about her waist, embroidered flowers dancing across the fabric. A grey skirt fluttered with the wind that blew through the doorway to the balcony, singing a song of the forest. Golden jewelry dangled from her neck and ears, glinting sweetly in the fading sunlight. Her curled tresses had little wildflowers woven between the strands, rolling over her shoulders in waves. She was beautiful, and she wasn’t yours.

It took her no time to stride forward, bare feet padding silently across the smooth floors towards you. You didn’t move, standing your ground and eyeing her with indifference.

The grazes of her fingers against your blistering hot cheeks shouldn’t have taken you aback. Your pride was wounded the last time you saw her, and all a devil really had was their pride. Should you be mad at this woman for diminishing you down to a mess of discombobulated emotions and lost purpose? A twisted part of you was proud of her for doing so. Besting a devil at their own game wasn’t quite the everyday act.

Yeri hummed a pleased little sound when you grabbed at her wrist. Not to yank her away, no, but to pull her ever so close, breathing in her earthy scent. The walls of fire you once held up to closely guard your devilish heart, now doused by a simple pale of water. The forest queen did that. And you, quite frankly, were so very afraid of what she’d do with it now that it was hers.

“Took you a while to come back,” she whispered. You looked oh so bewitching in this light, a glimpse of heaven doused with the fits of hell, and Yeri found it hard to concentrate. Especially not with your searing fingers wrapped firmly around her forearm.

“Certainly didn’t take you a while to call,” you snorted, raising a brow at the queen. “You’re a desperate little thing, aren’t you?”

Even the flame-lit candles were envious of her radiance when she smiled, for they flickered and warbled at her mischievous beam. “I’m not ashamed to admit so. You look awful, by the way.”

“That’s a lie,” you teased, so close now that your nose brushed against her cheekbone. If an outsider were to walk in now, they would’ve thought the two of you were two lovers intimately dancing to a ghost’s silent song.

“You’re right. I lied. Thought you might enjoy that since you’re the devil, and all.” The queen looked at you with hooded eyes.

A breathy chuckle slipped past your lips. “I enjoyed that very much, yes.”

“I’m going to do something,” she uttered lowly, vague hesitation weaving through her words, “and you’re going to have to promise not to freak out.”

An off-hand sound of acknowledgement rumbled in your throat as the tip of your mouth quirked upwards. “My queen, I’m the devil. Of course I’m going to freak out. I live for chaos.”

Just as you took your time to come back to her, it took Yeri time to unfurl the folds of her heart, baring herself raw and unshielded. She trusted you with her life, and it was probably the most foolish decision she could ever think to make.

Her lips brushed against your jaw first, tentative and testing. Then the kisses trailed to your cheekbones, over to the lids of your fluttered-shut eyes, down to the bridge of your nose. When she melded her lips over yours, you knew you were done for. It was almost natural, how your arms snaked around her midriff, clutching at the threads of her corset with a yearning you’ve never felt before. The hands that cradled your jaw slid in different directions; one went to clutch at your arm in a fruitless attempt to ground herself, and the other gently scratched at the back of your neck, earning a pleased noise from you.

This was so wrong, and that was why it felt so good. If she was the fruit, you were the parasite. If she was the wine, you were the poison. If she was love, you were hatred.

When she pulled away from you with a dazzling smile reserved just for you, you swore the stars shattered and the moon collapsed and the sky broke into two. For this trembling certainly can’t be coming from you! Devils don’t tremble, for crying out loud!

“You called me your queen,” she observed, amused at your playful narrowing of eyes.

“A devil never lies, my queen,” you jested. The laugh she was about to bark out at your witty jab was stolen away from her as you kissed her once more. “I wouldn’t dare bow to somebody with a soul, yet it seems you’ve given me yours. Just what am I to do with you?”

Your words were paused to press a lasting kiss onto her cheek, right below her wide eyes, nervously awaiting your response. Studying her with mirth dancing in your irises, you crooned in acceptance, fondly nudging your nose against her supple cheek. She was yours, and you were hers. A white rose blooming amidst a tumultuous storm.

“And my, my, what a powerful pair we make, my queen.”

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enduracarrotchips · 3 years

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YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here:

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams.

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link:

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

#listen. listen. youtuber au #idc if u came here to see genderless art this is what I am posting today #genderless art in the future though #anyways I'm so sorry #sidon x sidon trends for a few days and I feel bad for the ppl who have to handwrite the trending descriptions on twitter #like what would it be #reddit user @ steponmeurbosa makes a spelling error and sparks shipping between beauty guru sidon and himself #if someone tries to start discourse about YouTube fandoms on my post I am blocking you #headcanons #opinions #youtuber au #botw #zelink #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #thank god I got this out of my notes app

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weebishstuff12 · 2 years

Text

"𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚" (𝙔. 𝙏𝙚𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧)

(the gifs re-fuse to work 😭) ~~𝕂𝕖𝕪~~ (Y/N) = Your Name (Y/N/N) = Your Nick Name (B/F/N) = Best Friend's Name ☆.｡.:* Yuji Terushima x Female Reader .｡.:*☆ ☆.｡.:* Fluff .｡.:*☆

(Y/N) POV

"Will you go out with me?" I looked over to see a brunette 2nd-year ask Teru out. 'Huh, third time today' I thought, leaning against the school gate, waiting for him to come over. You see, I'm best friends with the volleyball captain and because he's so cool and hot, he gets asked out. Alot. Which, also means that hang-out times, cut. That sound pretty annoying, right? I mean, I'm not trying to be possessive or anything, its not even like I like him or anything. ... okay that was a lie. Yes I like him, but I doubt he likes me back, so I always tried to convince myself I didn't. Which works for a while, then I fall for him again, harder. How fun, right? "Hey, (Y/N)? You good?" "huh, oh yeah, I'm fine. Can you leave now-?" "whatt, are you jealoussss???" He said with a taunting tone. "Nope, just waiting for you to stop be horny" I said before walking away. "Hor- Hey it's not my fault that girls want me!" He replied, following behind me. "Your lucky I promised to help you study cause I would just leave your ass here" "meanie" We both got to my house after 5 minutes, having a random conversation about cheese. You heard it right folks, cheese. Gosh, we're a weird pair. After letting him inside, he went to the kitchen, stole a Pepsi from the fridge, and went upstairs to my room. I quickly followed grabbing a water from the kitchen, and see him laying on my bed. "Do we have to stu-" "Don't you dare finish that sentence because I will literally push you out the window and you can go a 'F' on the test yourself" I cut him off. "...Jeez fine" "and give me back my pepsi-" "uhh, I back-washed" "that's... disgusting" "well now you won't steal it" "but now your drinking saliava" "iTs mY oWn wHaTs iT gOnNa dO-" "...oh yeah" Like I said before, we're a weird pair. "Okay, all jokes aside, we should start" He surprisingly said. "So we finish so I don't have to do any more work" There's the catch. "okay, whatever" I replied, sitting in front of him on my bed, taking out my textbook and notebook. He sat up too, taking out his notebook. "(Y/N/N)!! Can we take a break??" "Wow, not even...20 minutes in and you already want a break" "I was never good at math, mind you" "ughh, fine, just answer these last two questions and we'll take a break." Since I was already finished with all my math notes, I got up, going to the kitchen to grab another water. And of course, not forgetting my notebook so he could copy off it. "You done yet?" I asked, walking back into my room. "yeah now let me have a 2 hour break." He said, flopping backwards on my bed.

"2 hour- I'm, no" "fine 1 hour" "10 minutes" "I may not be good at math but that's not fair" "what happened to 'finishing so you don't have to do it'?" "i don't fucking know, let me take a nap" "So now your tired? Cause I'm pretty sure if volleyball practice was open you'd run" "Volleyball is better then math, change my mind." "that would be pointless." I went back to my spot in front of him, taking a sip of my water. "Hey Teru?" "hm?" "...you get asked out a lot, but well, your never seen with that girl the next couple of days, so does that mean you reject them?" "eh, most of them are not really my type. Plus, I bet half of them only want the clout." "Well, that can't be for all of them." "I mean, I do like this girl, so I'm kinda staying reserved." "Wow, really, who?" "haha, can't say." "Why?....It's (B/F/N) isn't it" "no no, it's not them." "Then tell meeeee" "I'll only give hints okay?" "fine" "Their in our grade, and their in all of your classes." "who in the hell- wait quick question is it a boy-?" "I'm not gay" "okay, hmmmm" While I was thinking about who it could be, I didn't notice Teru slowly getting closer until he was right in front of me. "How can you be so smart but so dumb at the same time?" As I was about to answer, he kissed me. Yuji Terushima kissed me. He then pulled away and looked down. "sorry..." "wait you like me-?" "..yeah" "heheh, I like you too!" He looked up at me, clearly shocked, while I just smiled. Next thing I know he tackled me in a hug. ~~~~~~𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐬~~~~~~ "FINALLY, GOD, THAT TOOK LIKE 50 YEARS FOR YOU GUYS" Takehara said, seeing us walking into the gym holding hands. "aH shUt uP"

#haikyuu x reader #ws12haikyuu #ws12 #haikyuu!!#terushima x y/n

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years

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COSMIC - S3:E4; Chapter Four, The Sauna Test - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘌𝘭, 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘔𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘍𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯, 𝘚𝘵𝘦𝘷𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘓𝘺𝘯𝘹.

📝: Thank you guys so much for being patient, I really didn't expect an update till after I had finished moving but your excitement and comments from this preview alone inspired me and I found moments here and there it got me on a roll so thank youu!!

⚠️: anxiety attack, kidnapping and nightmare sequence featuring the following; strangulation, kidnapping, possible claustrophobia triggers(??)/imprisonment [skip markers for all, one for anxiety the second for kidnapping and dream sequence] and finally, not a warning but I feel like I need to make this not so depressing but SO MUCH GAY FLUFF YALL 🌈🌈🌈

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Another bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, and a sudden bright light filled the bathroom.

After leaving Heather's house, the three of us had decided to crash at Max's. Neither of us really wanted to be alone after everything happened today, so one quick call to my mom and a note at the cabin and here we are.

I stood before the bathroom mirror with slightly sunken eyes and the tap running on cold as I brushed my teeth mindlessly. The clothes Max had found that would fit me felt snug and warm, just out of the dryer and they smelled like her. It was a welcome change to my drenched clothes now in the wash.

The thunder was mostly muted from inside but not altogether, and I could hear the muffled voices of Max and El from down the hall as I brush my teeth. I try to focus on the gentle pitter-patter of rain on Max's roof and the calm lull it brought to the atmosphere but it was of little help. I could still hear Billy's voice clear as day,

"What a pleasure it is to meet you El. And of course, who could possibly forget..."

《•••》

I watched as Billy slowly wrenched his head towards mine, his hollow gaze falling over me.

•••

I step out onto the porch, slipping the hood back over my head when I feel it again.

•••

She winced as she whipped around to face him, his sunken, darkened eyes widening as they pierced her own.

•••

The sound of my name on his tongue made my skin crawl, his voice all the way in the back of his throat.

《•••》

You

[■■■■■■■■Anxiety Trigger■■■■■■■■]

Another clap of thunder explodes in the distance and I drop my toothbrush, gripping the edge of the counter. Swallowing deep gulps of air, I try to remember the breathing technique Joyce told me about.

Breath in for four.

I draw in a slow deep breaths, letting my eyes flutter closed.

Hold for seven.

As I count the seconds, I follow her instructions and try to focus on my other senses to ground me. I first notice the water running in the sink and the pitter-patter of rain on the roof. The smell of coconut from the hand soap. And even the warm feel of the clothes from the dryer.

Breath out for eight.

I release the built-up air in my lungs in a steady puff but I don't feel my grip on the counter loosen any. The chill is still in my bones, and I can still feel his eyes on me.

Breath in.

The cold, hollowness in his eyes.

Hold.

The blood all over this very bathroom, and El's frightened cries on the floors of the locker room.

I double over the counter, releasing the air tightening my lungs before I can even get to five. I sigh, steadying my breathing and regaining any I had lost as I stare nose-first into the running water disappearing down the drain. I feel hot tears stinging my eyes as the panic builds and I curse under my breath.

I haven't had an attack in so long.

[■■■■■■■■Over■■■■■■■■]

Sighing again, I cup my palms under the water and splash it over my face, fighting a wince when the hot water burns my face.

I wipe away the beads of water dripping over my cheeks and brow, feeling as the air turns it instantly to cool and that's when I frown.

Wait.

Quickly, I swipe the excess water off my eyes and look down at the tap.

It was all the way on cold, as it was when I first turned it on.

I look back at my hands, noting their usual s/c shade. No hint of light or heat in sight. I look back in the mirror, searching my eyes and lips for hints of my usual strain but I find nothing.

My eyes drop back to the running tap, my face written with confusion and head cocked as I watch steam pour out from the stream of running water. I test the metal spout pouring out water and sure enough, the metal is already warming confirming my suspicions.

A sudden familiar voice spoke out from the other side of the closed door, but it wasn't enough to pry my frown away from the running water.

"Y/n?"

It was Max.

"You alright in there?"

My heart was still beating sporadically and my skin was flushing familiarly but I tried to remind myself where I was. That I was safe. And clearly, the Mayfields needed to have their plumbing checked since their heating was flipped.

The thought was enough to expel a sharp breath of relief, and I seemed to snap back to reality. Mostly.

I switched off the water, the cold water tap squeaking as I did so. Quiet returned to the room, and I shook out my hands in the sink and cleared my throat.

"Yeah, I'll be right out," I say, wincing at the waver in my voice.

I picked up the dropped toothbrush and shook out the droplets, finally deciding to tuck it away on the counter where I could deal with it later. Thankfully, it hadn't actually been mine but a spare they had among a pack of unopened toothbrushes.

I look back at my reflection, drying the remaining water off my face with a towel, and sigh.

Clearly, it had been a stressful night and things were starting to get to me. That's all. I don't know what's up with Billy, but something's definitely wrong. I know I'm not wrong either if El can feel it too.

Breath in.

I double-check the counter, checking I have everything. The image pushes itself into my head again, and I wince but I don't stop my breathing exercise.

Hold.

"And of course, who could forget..."

Y/n counted each painful second as she held the air captive in her lungs, trying with everything in her to focus on her breathing over the hollow voice of Billy Hargrove echoing in her mind. As she did so, she turned and made her way for the bathroom door, unknowingly leaving behind the still undrained ice bath that was now beginning to boil.

"You."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"Which one?" Max asks with an adorable grin.

"I don't know," El mumbled weakly with a shrug. She peered up at me as I returned to my spot in between them on the floor. "What do you think?"

I settle myself under Max's comforter and into her rainbow sheets on our makeshift nest on the floor. As I readjusted myself on the pillow, I shrugged half-heartedly, not really trying my best to act totally present.

Max sits up, growing serious, and grabs both our gazes.

"Hey," she says, her voice soft. "there's nothing to worry about anymore, okay?"

The fake smile fell off my face and my eyes fell to my hands. They were wringing together in my lap. El's eyes flickered to me, her face dropping a little as if she recognized my state and spoke up.

"It doesn't make sense,"

"What doesn't make sense?" Max asks.

"What does?" I say under my breath, wringing my hands tighter.

"Heather," El continued. "The blood. The ice."

"Heather had a fever, so she took a cold bath, but she's better now. That has to be it," Max says, sounding almost as if she's trying to convince herself as well. "I don't know where that blood came from, but... we saw her."

She looks between me and El, trying to look as reassuring as possible.

"We all saw her. She's totally fine."

El didn't seem to buy it any more than I did.

"What about Billy?"

"What about him?"

"He seemed... wrong." She says and I nod.

Max gave a weak chuckle. "Wrong is kind of like his default. But it's nice to know he's not a murder, because that would've totally sucked."

I finally break my silence with an involuntary scoff. My next words come tumbling out without me thinking.

"Yeah, especially on top of everything else,"

Max replicates my scoff and I look at her almost desperately.

"Okay, but you get what I'm saying, right? I've met him and he does not act like that Max," my voice lowers a bit from its almost defensive pitch. "I don't think I need to remind you what he did to Lucas, or you, or how he treats me. I may not know him like you, but he's never that polite, even to people he likes, and I know you know it too,"

Max just stares for half a moment, not saying or doing anything but biting her lip. Finally, she sighs at her lap, pensively.

"I get what you're saying," she says, looking between El and me again. "Both of you. He was being totally weird, I'll give you that. I just really think we need to be careful about this." She shrugs. "For all we know, he was probably trying to impress the Holloways."

She makes suggestive eyes with a disgusted, uncomfortable laugh as she elbowed me. "Maybe he really wants to get closer to Heather,"

I laugh, making a face.

"Oh, barf,"

A small smile finds its way onto El's lips and she reluctantly joins into our laughter with a frown. "What?"

"You don't want to know," I chuckle, burying myself further under the sheets.

El seemed satisfied enough with my answer and followed my lead. She shivered a little on my right, as Max got settled back in on my left. I looked over at El when I felt her shifting around. She was snuggling closer, and her arms wrapped around my left like a koala bear, her eyes threatening to close. I watched her with a small flutter in my stomach as she nuzzled her head into my shoulder and gave a content sigh. "Warm," I heard her mumble.

I didn't dare move, other than grinning down at her and tucking my head on hers as we both looked over at Max and the pile of comics she had.

Not letting go of my arm, El sat her head up a little and pointed to the only cover with Wonder Woman on it with a curious look in her eye.

"Who... is that?"

Max and I both perk up as she grabs the comic.

"See, this is why you can't just hang out with Mike all the time." She explains. "This is Wonder Woman. A.K.A. Princess Diana,"

The three of us simultaneously lean back against our propped-up pillows on the wall, snuggling into one another. I take hold of the comic for Max, turning to page one as Max and I begin pointing out different pictures on the page.

"She's from Paradise Island, which is, like, this hidden island there are only women Amazon warriors."

El smiles and I point to her lasso of truth.

"Yeah, and she's devoted to bringing good to the world, like most superheroes. She even has this lasso - which is kind of a long rope tied in a circle - that helps her fight crime, and it can even make people tell the truth..."

"It's super cool," Max jumps in.

That flutter grows as I watch El point out different things on the page with a smile that only grew the more she learned. Or the more Max would light up with another Wonder Woman fact. And minute by minute, as the night crept on just like this, the more I forgot about the horrifying questions of today and more on my best friends beside me.

I was safe.

For now.

[■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]

When Tom Holloway awoke, he immediately knew something was wrong.

His hands were bound behind his back, some sort of cloth was wrapped around his head and stuffed in his mouth as a gag and he felt nauseous. Never mind the fact his head was throbbing and bleeding, and he was somewhere dark, cold, and unknown.

That's when he remembered.

Heather.

The girls in his living room had just left, his wife Janet was acting strange and... she was drugged. And it had been his Heather. His little baby Heather and that boy.

He had to get out, he had to find them. He had to get to his family.

He fights with a grunt against the restraints around his wrists. He winces as the rope stings his burns his skin and as he squirms he gets a better feel for what he's tied to. It's some sort of pipe.

And yet he's so focused on his escape and finding his family, he doesn't realize his wife is by his side.

Her muffled, horrified shrieks as she comes to.

"Tom!"

He lets out a sob when he sees her, in his voice a jumbled mixture of relief and sorrow. She looked no better than he felt, and steady tears streaked down her cheeks with mascara.

A pair of footsteps grab their attention to two figures approaching from the shadows. The very same people to have brought them here.

Heather and Billy.

Tom lets out another involuntary whimper as his daughter approaches him, a blank faraway look in her eyes.

"Hi, Daddy,"

He watches tearfully as she kneels down to his height, and removes the bounds from his mouth.

"Heather..." he gasps, swallowing fearful tears and the lump in his throat. He throws one cautious glare over her shoulder at the young man before softening again at his daughter. "Sweetie... whatever this is, whatever he's got you into, you don't have to do this. You can stop this."

"There is no stopping it, Daddy," she says in an unusually cold voice. "You'll see."

With the ghost of a smile, she cups his tear-stained cheek and he cries again.

"No," he silently begs.

But she's already on her feet, returning to Billy's side as he approaches Janet as Heather had Tom.

Her whimpers grow more frantic as he reaches for her, and before she knows it she's wriggling free from the cloth gag he removes from her mouth. She wastes no time in crying out to her baby girl.

"Heather, please! Heather!"

The words died out into a fearful whisper when Billy's finger pushes against her lips, silencing her. She feels her whole body tremoring as he leans in close, his voice that same gravely tone he let slip earlier that night.

"Try not to move."

They fear the worst only to watch confused as he rises to his feet and retreats up the steps with their daughter.

"No," Janet mumbles tearfully after them. "No!"

"Heather!" Tom cries, fighting hard against the restraints no matter how hard they hurt. "Heather!"

Something in the dark abyss of shadows stole their attention. Something Tom almost misses at first It was a most unusual sound. Something low and otherworldly... almost like a growl reverberating off of tin.

They watched with widened, bloodshot eyes as they try to make out the great beast emerging from the shadows.

"Jesus Christ,"

It's all Tom can bring himself to say, his voice in a trembling whisper.

What marched out from the shadows on its six, wobbling legs was something else entirely. A monster, he was not sure he was seeing. A demon he was not ready to face. A horror, he could not possibly fathom.

The Mind Flayer.

He had evolved past his shadowy form, yet he always lurked in darkness. He was darkness. His features remained spider-like, six long legs as tall as the ceiling it was now scraping, branching out into smaller tendrils like one grotesque, haunched tree.

But the worst part of all - the sickening detail that revealed itself as it grew closer.

The Mind Flayer was made entirely out of flesh and bone.

Tom's cries for help were stolen right out of his mouth when he felt the first touch of the monster.

Tom couldn't register much through all the fear. He felt the cold, slimy grasp swallow up his face just as surely as beard his wife's horrified shrieks. He tried to scream, tried to breathe but any and every effort in doing so brought with it more icy sludge entering his system from the source. It was like swallowing sand as he drowned, gasping in large gulps of seawater that slowly filled his lungs.

Only worse. Tom was alive to feel it. To live through it, to breath through it.

All Tom Holloway could do was peer up at the snarling monster from his one uncovered eye as he feels the icy darkness envelop him completely.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What on earth are you doing here?" He asks. "Is something wrong?"

"We just... wanted to make sure everything was okay," Max stammered, just as confused as her friends.

A look of concern flashed over Billy's face as he inched closer. "Okay? Why wouldn't it be okay?"

"You know damn well why," I grumble, my gut lurching at my sudden bravery but Billy doesn't seem to notice.

In fact, no one did. I look at Max and El, but they haven't even flinched, neither have the man or the woman sitting in the dining room.

I looked to my left at El expectantly, as if I know she's going to speak. As if I've lived this moment before.

I'm relieved to see she doesn't seem to buy into Billy's act either.

"Where is she?" El all but growls.

I shifted on my feet, barely noticing the familiar tug of those words in the back of my head. But what would Billy say?

His eyes snap to El, and she could have sworn she almost saw that mask break.

"I'm sorry," he said slowly. "Where is who?"

"Well, they're a little burnt, I'm sorry,"

All eyes turn to the chipper young girl striding in with a tray of cookies in her hands and a lingering smile on her face.

"Heather," I gasp, feeling a wave of relief and fear all at once.

The only troubling thing about her was the crisp cinnamon cookies in her hands. She had trailed off upon noticing the three young visitors.

"Heather!" Billy smiles, welcoming her as if she was an old friend.

I just felt like I'm seeing a ghost.

"This is my sister, Maxine," Billy chirps, turning back to the three confused girls. "And I'm sorry," he says to El, with an almost edge to his voice. "I did not quite catch your name."

I inch closer to her, my shoulder wedging over hers in a protective stance but that felt useless.

With a determined look in her eyes, she matches his steely gaze.

"El."

I grimace as Billy forces a smile. It was chilling. Truly haunting. But he was still angry, I could tell.

In fact, he was livid. Why was he so livid? What had El done?

"El." He hums. "What a pleasure it is to meet you El. And of course, who could possibly forget..."

His eyes lurched to mine and I felt my stomach drop, maybe as fast as the temperature in the whole house. Like I was plunged into ice.

I wanted to move, I tried to run but I couldn't. My legs were rooted to the spot like they were when it really happened.

And then...

His voice was a growl that grew in the back of his throat, his lips curling back in a snarl as he bared his teeth.

"You."

His hand was around my throat and my feet left the ground. I tried crying for help but my voice was gone, leaving me no choice but to claw at Billy's arms as I fought for breath. My legs were finally moving again, kicking and squirming as I tried to reach him or even the ground but they never did, no matter how close.

I had to fight to look at El and Max but they were gone, as were the Holloways. Fading away like smoke.

"Let me go!" I somehow cry. "Let me go, now!"

He blinks at me, his face a clean slate. Nothing in his features, he's almost like a projection.

My feet return to the floor and tears flood my cheeks. But I'm not free, not any more than he had listened.

He started off down the hall, where we first came from, my throat still in his grip. I was dragging along the floor, my feet kicking and shoes grabbing the wood linoleum for traction but the hall just kept getting longer.

I was crying heavily, pleading with him to let me go. I tried and tried with all my might to hurt him, but no matter what I threw at him he just kept dragging me down the hall.

He took a left and I watched behind us, still fighting as the walls gradually changed from olive-green to grey.

I sent another long, hot burst of air up at him but he didn't flinch.

The grey paint turned to white.

I clawed and scraped and melted his skin, or at least I tried to but his grip never loosened.

The white painted walls turned to a white brick.

I got more frantic, kicking and even harder and screaming at the top of my lungs, embracing the hurt. The walls shook and cracked but Billy kept walking, dragging me along.

The white brick turned to white tile as we made another turn.

"No! No! NO!"

Billy looked down at me for the first time since he grabbed me. There was a haunted, almost painted-on smile on his face as he peered down. The large fluorescent lights above our heads tinged a sickly green, hurting my eyes almost as bad as the pad of my feet trying to grip the linoleum floors.

"But you belong here."

"NO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

I continue to wail and kick and scream, even as we come to a slow. He yanks me to my feet, and I hear a dreadful click of a lock that makes me shudder.

"No," I sob. "I can't. I don't... I don't want to be here,"

Billy looks deep into my eyes, feeling like a whole other person entirely. A third person, more specifically.

Not only that, he sounds horrifically familiar.

He pushes something over my shoulder and I hear the creak of a door. And before I can protest, my body is thrown into an all brick white room as the voice continues I believe to be Billy but I realize is an all too familiar doctor.

"You don't mean that, my dearest Nine," I hear his withering voice echoing all around me as I catch my breath on all fours where I had fallen. "I know you don't want to upset your Papa,"

Tears fall from my cheeks, my rage and fear building as I prepare to throw everything I have at him. No matter what it costs.

With heaving breaths I push myself off the cold tile floors and turn to the door I was just thrown through. But all I'm met with is the same white walls. There's no door, no way out. And no one else around.

I'm all alone.

It's then I remember, I've been here before. I'm brought here often. Somewhere in the back of my head I finally register this is a nightmare but I'm too deep inside to pull myself out. Instead, in a plight of anger, I throw my fists in the wall repeatedly as I cry out in anguish until I have no breath left.

My eyes snap to my arm when I feel an excruciating pain concentrated onto my left inner wrist. I choke on another sob as I stare at the three black numbers tattooed into my skin.

𝟶𝟶𝟿

Growing more frantic, I pace the walls as my tears return, running my hands along the wall for any sort of false door or hatch until my nerve ending in my hands are shot and numb.

I collapse into the corner, hugging my chest and the white, spotted lab gown over my body.

Everything's building in me, heat sizzling off my shoulders and melting the wall and for a moment I think I found my way out. I can melt the walls, break them down but I try and try and-

[■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■]

||𝟑𝐑𝐃 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

"Y/N!"

The girl shot awake, kicking off the sheets that clung to her sweating skin, and gulped down desperate breaths of air. Max and El jumped when she did, but it Y/n moments to realize they were sitting opposite her. Farther away.

Realizing what had happened, she doubled over and threw her face in her hands with an exasperated sigh.

"Shit..." she mumbles, rubbing at the sleepiness in her eyes. "Guys, I'm sorry. I should have warned you. I've been having really bad nightmares lately and... guys?"

Y/n had to really look to see them, more specifically the looks on their faces. Hardly any light was streaming in through the windows, the sky a light and bright cobalt. But it was enough to barely accentuate the worried frown on El's face and the painful wince Max wore as she clutched her forearm and the thin layer of sweat coating their skin.

"What-? What happened?" She croaked, looking to Max. "Are you okay?"

Max shot you a quick, forced smile as she still clutched her arm.

"I'm fine, but... are you?"

Her stomach dropped and turned all at once, her mouth falling into a gasp as she brought her hands in towards herself and away from her friends.

"Did I... did I do that to you?"

She shook her head quickly, trying to examine her arm in the dark and that's when Y/n barely makes it out: a spot on her paled skin was almost the size of a coaster; dark and festering.

"Oh, my god, I didn't mean- I am so sorry, I-" Y/n's mouth remained open but the words kept getting stuck in her throat.

Finally, she jumped to her feet and kicked off the sheets still sticking to her legs, and made her way to the door.

"Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Oh, my god,"

El and Max watched as she began speedwalking out into the hall and heading for the linen closet, her voice trailing off with her in a familiar Henderson fashion. They knew they would be unable to stop her, especially in this condition.

Instead, they looked to one another, silently sharing their worry at what had just transpired.

El had stirred from the sudden and intense heat that took over Max's room, her plastic water bottle now nearly half empty and filled with condensation. And Max had awoken not from the heat but the sudden, subtle tremors shaking the house and the small glow that was peaking through her eyelids.

When she had cracked her eyes open, she had seen Y/n on the neighboring pillow, a pained look on her tinted face. Hints of her veins were cropping up on the edge of her lips and she had then felt the light kicks of her friend. She had pulled herself up, rubbing at her eyes and that's when she noticed how much she had been sweating.

The room was still in a steady rumble and El was already awake.

"What's going on?" El had whispered from across their friend.

"I don't know, I think..." Max peered down at Y/n with a pitiful look. "I think she's having a nightmare. I think she's mentioned those lately."

"What do we do?"

Max shrugged, jumping slightly when the rumble had grown loud enough for concern.

"Well, we gotta wake her," Max had said, anxiously.

Y/n's kicking had returned and soft whimpers were escaping her lips and Max felt something tug on her heart.

She reached forward, only for a hand to grab around her forearm.

Max looked down at El's hand then at El with a confused frown.

"What?"

El shoots an unsure look between her and Y/n, her face written with unease.

"Try another way," she whispers.

"I'm not sure what else to do," Max says with a shrug. "Do you?"

El frowned again, finally shaking her head in defeat. Whimpering cries grew louder and they looked to Y/n who was freely crying. And looking less than compliant, and against her better judgment, El let's go.

Max wasn't naive. She knew the likely dangers of waking her friend but she didn't want her to suffer. So instead, she bunched up the blankets over her hand and began to softly shake her.

"Y/n..."

No response. She just continued to cry, and Max had continued to shake the more she grew worried. Before she knew it, Y/n had thrown herself on her back, her hands grabbing for Max's.

Y/n kept tossing, speaking in a clear voice. "Let me go."

Max felt the intense flare of heat in her arm and she yanked it back, scrambling backward as she hissed an impressive string of curses. El had jumped, looking desperately to Max as they both felt the air grow increasingly hotter.

She watched wide-eyed as she clutched her arm, and it hadn't been until El intervened they finally got her awake.

El returned her eyes to the lesion on Max's arm and her face grows soft.

"Really okay?"

Max nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine."

On cue, Y/n had returned from the hall with a wet washcloth, aloe vera, and a thin bandage.

"Again, Max, I am so so sorry,"

"It's fine, really. I know you didn't do it on purpose," she winced again when it stings. "Can't say it feels great, though,"

"Here,"

Y/n flipped on the light on Max's bedside and returned to her friends' side with the supplies.

"I hadn't realized how bad it's been getting lately," Y/n explains as she begins tending to Max. "My dreams I mean, and all this,"

She looks between El and Max with a weak wince before giving Max a warning look. The redhead nods and Y/n places the washcloth onto the wound and Max hisses. It was barely colder than room temperature but that helped.

"Sorry, sorry, I know," Y/n says. Thinking twice, she hands it off to Max with a guilty smile. "Probably better you hold onto that,"

Max nodded and took the washcloth in hand as Y/n prepared the aloe vera.

"What happened?" El asked suddenly.

Y/n looked curiously at El before she realized she was asking about her dream. Her stomach dropped again, and she fought the urge to touch her throat.

"Just some freaky, memories and... well, not memories I guess. It's hard to explain."

"You can tell us," El said, touching her arm as she remembered the words Y/n had spoken to her so long ago that she had always cherished. "If you need anything... at all... we're here."

A grateful smile broke out on her face as she looked at her best friends. "Thank you."

Returning to the twist cap, she pours out a quarter-size drop of the green sludge and Max peels back the washcloth, reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'm all cooled down," Y/n laughed. Max nodded and handed out her arm and Y/n got to work as she talked. "It really is hard to explain," she sighs. "It was last night, with Billy... but it wasn't. He was after me, and he... he hurt me. And the next thing I knew I was being dragged back."

"Back where?" The two girls both ask.

Y/n pours another drop on her fingers and continues to spread rub gentle circles into Max's skin as she looks between her friends. She bites her lip, almost afraid to bring it up in front of El.

"...at the lab." El subtly stiffens. "Which I know is impossible cause I've never been there. But it felt so real. To be honest, I've been having dreams like these - of there - a lot lately."

"That's awful,"

"I'm sorry,"

Y/n shrugs, grabbing for the ace bandage and thin square of gauze. She delicately places it over the wound and she grimaces when she gets a better long-term what she had done. It was dark red and puffy, and Y/n hoped her makeshift treatment would work.

"Not really much I can do," she says, Max holding one end of the strip as Y/n began to wrap. "I just try to remind myself I made it out."

Securing the bandage, she instinctually places a hand over the cloth, securing her work, and smiles. She turns to El, a new seriousness in her eyes and Y/n takes El's hand in her own, giving it a quick squeeze.

"We both did,"

El's smile returns and she feels a warmth spread through her and into her chest. A comforting one, much unlike the heat still lingering in the room.

At the thought, El looks at Max curiously.

"Do your windows open?"

"Yeah," she frowns. "Why?"

El flicks her head and a soft click goes off behind them, followed by the suction of air leaving the room suddenly. Y/n and Max yank their gaze to the window to see it peeled open, letting in a cool breeze through the half-shut blinds.

She swipes at her nose, and the room falls silent as the three meet eyes and a grin breaks out on all three as they begin to laugh.

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nctzanne · 3 years

Text

Bisexual

[Smut, a tiny bit of fluff]

• Ten x Reader (fm)

requests closed ♡

-You are gay, aren’t you? I mean, by the way you look at Johnny, it’s pretty obvious- You speak nonchalant, fixing your eyes on the random yaoi movie you both are watching.

-I prefer calling myself bisexual- Ten answers with no amusement- I still don’t know how it’s to have sex with a girl-

-That’s why i thought you were gay- He laughs under his breath. You turn your sight to him, just to admire his delicate face traits. Indeed, Johnny was lucky.

Being friends with Ten was something... peculiar. He is a mystery, in every possible way. When you think you know him, suddenly he appears with a personality totally different from what he chose to show you. In those 5 years of knowing eachother, Ten always had something new to uncover about him, making you feel refreshed. There was no way you could be bored with him, everything felt new, funny, dangerous. He helped you to skip your first class, to get an A on maths, how to get drunk without puking, and how to freestyle dance. You just don’t imagine your life without him.

And now, that you both live together, everything got even better. Nights reading tarot cards, laughing at some Tik Toks, and even you both escaped to make a friendship tattoo: A little butterfly under your boob and under his chest.

Some people would say that you both look like a couple, but there is no way Ten have ever felt that way with you. Oh, but if you talk about your personal feelings...

-Uhm, __, do i have something in my face or..?- Ten whispers so suddenly you snap out of your thoughts. One side of his face is iluminated by the different colors of the sunset that it’s occuring outside your balcony window. He looks so pretty like this, how can he even be real?

-Yeah, some uglyness over there- You try to play it cool, throwing a pillow towards him, positioning it on his lap so you can rest a bit over your heavy thoughts.

He doesn’t seem to complain, and starts playing with your hair. It feels so nice to be around him, he is your comfy zone, your safe space.

-I really want to know- he mumbles.

You freeze.

-Know? What do you wanna know?- For some reason, you don’t want to look at him.

-How it’s to have sex with a woman- he sounds so damn secure about himself, like those words didn’t afect you at all. But he’s wrong, your heart speeds up a little bit, trying to figure out where this conversation was heading to. No, there is no possible way that...

-I’ve been thinking about this a long time ago, you know- his voice goes deeper this time- I know so much about sex with men, but so little with girls. I really want to try how I develop during the act- What the fuck is he talking about?

-Ten, what the f...- he grabs you by your back so you sit up and face him. You are only centimeters away from your nose to rub his.

-I want to know... ___, please let me find out- he almost sound like begging. You hold your breath trying to conect the last neurons that are functioning so you convince yourself that you are not dreaming. You can’t help but look at his lips,just waiting for his sign...

There is no movement at all, not his, not yours. The only thing you can hear is your own heartbeat buzzing on your ears, his warm hands on the sides of your cheeks, his eyes piercing your thoughts.

-Just kiss me already- Your voice trembles, almost like if you are unsure. Actually, you are, there is no way this could end in a good way.

But all of that fades away when he connects his lips with yours. For a few seconds, it’s only that, just your lips touching. But it’s enough to make your mind go fuzzy, fireworks erupting on your lower belly, feeling like this moment should’ve happened so many years ago. When you interwined your fingers while walking on the park, or when he comforted you when you broke up with Kun. But no matter how awkward this moment was, it is everything you needed.

You don’t know how longer it takes for you to experimentally open your mouth a little bit, just to lick his lower lip, tasting the waters. He moves away quickly, leaving your mouth hanging open. You think you messed something up, but before you can apologize about taking things too fast he grabs you violently by the nape of your head, so he can start to kiss you messily.

Everything is tongue, saliva and teeth. There is no control, at all. His tongue works majestically inside your wet cavity, exploring every inch of it, like he was marking your mouth as his. You let him lead everything, you just melt under his ministrations, trying to fight his tongue only to earn a deep growl from his throat.

He grabs your hips giving you a sign to sit on his lap and you do, gasping as soon as you feel his hard clothed member against you. He janks your hair just to have your neck fully display to him, so he can start marking you up. It first starts as tongue kisses, but slowly he sucks mercyless every inch of your neck and collarbones.

-Ten, i have dance classes tomorrow- you try to stay as rational as posible, running your fingers through his dark black locks- Dont mark me up-

He looks up to you, mouth full of saliva, eyes glistening -You are acting as if you aren't mine-

It felt like somebody totally different from Ten was talking to you now. When you said that he always had something new about himself to show, you weren't kidding. His voice was always sweet as a candy cane, but now you can swear he can cut a rock with a whisper. You shiver, not knowing what its going to happen at all.

-My dear pup- what... is that... a nickname? A pool starts to grow on your panties, and you are afraid you will wet his jeans as well- Do you think i don't know how i make you feel only by looking at you? By touching you?- he lays back on the sofa where you both at, just so he can admire your fucked up state, he is loving how wrecked you are by him- Why do you think i dont fuck any other girls, huh? Because I know how to drive you insane, i know how you masturbate with your filthy vibrator everynight you see me without a t-shirt, wishing that pleasure was given by me- your mouth opens in surprise, and you suddenly want to be swallowed by the couch and just disappear. It seems that he notices- The only girl i want to pleasure my whole life is you, because you are the only one who can make me feel this- he grabs your wrist so your hand touches his dick over his pants.

You are absolutely clueless of everything. So many things happening so fast. He heard you masturbating? He masturbates himself thinking about you? Is it now even the time to wonder about those things?

Almost on queue, he kisses your lips softly, caressing your hair -Let me make you feel good, pup. I want to try everything with you, only you-

A loud moan breaks the ice between you two. You look at eachother trying to figure out where the sound is coming, until you both face the TV. Right, the Yaoi movie. The scene is so fucking explicit you couldn't help by sigh, and that doesn't slip out of Ten.

-You like watching that, don't you?- he turns you around, so now that your back is pressed against his chest. He opens up your legs and in a blink of an eye has his hands roaming the waistband of your pajama pants. -You are so filthy, what if that was me and Johnny? Would you rather watch that?- you moan not only because of the scene you just imagine, but also that his fingers start to ghost against your wet folds- Or do you prefer me fucking you, making a mess out of you?- he teases you, rubbing gently but never putting enough pressure, he only rubs your pussy lips.

You open up your legs in desesperate attempt to make him touch you more, but he just takes his time. You are not watching the movie at all, your mind wandering about all the things you can try with him.

Finally, his index finger rubs your clit slowly in a up and down motion. You hate the fact that you are too vocal when it comes to sex, but it seems that for him it tastes like glory. Using two fingers now, he decides to rub your now hard and too sensitive nub in different ways, but when he starts to do it in circles is when you close your eyes and moan his name loudly.

-Okay, that's how you like it then- and you dont notice when he starts to pick up his pace. You are so close, so damn close due to all the dirty talking, but you don't want it to end.

-Ten please, i don't want to cum yet- you rest the back of your head on his shoulder, eyes rolling back. You can hear the sounds that come down from your wetness, and it seems that he tries in all best ways possible to make those sounds louder and louder.

-Who says you have permission to cum anyways, pup?- he whispers in your ear. His eyes are fixed in how his fingers are working on you, at the same time he is listening carefully how his name slips out of your tongue everytime he slows down.

-Ten ‘m so close, please- You don’t know what are you begging for. Your legs tremble trying to hold your orgasm but you feel like you are going to explode.

-I love when you call me by my nickname, but sometimes i think you forget about my real name- He stops his actions, making you groan in disapproval, but he hush you while introducing his fingers on your mouth. You don’t want to admit it, but you truly love your own taste.

You suck clean his fingers, swirling your tongue around them, while trying to look at him in the eyes, though it was kinda difficult due to the position he is. He bites his lips, humming in agreement, he likes what you are doing.

-I want to hear how you scream my name while i make you cum- He starts to rub your clit again, but 10x faster. He looks like an expert rubbing you, it feels so damn good, it’s impossible that he is a “girl virgin”.- Say it-

-Chittaphon...- You feel so embarrased, and don’t know why, but you choose to let go and get consumed by pleasure. You feel it, that tight knot begging for release, your hands holding on dear life by his arm muscles, hearing his grunts on your left ear, even the year of his piercings on your cheek makes you burn and get closer and closer.

-Chittaphon im cumming- you warn him with voice cracked, you can’t hold it any longer.

-That’s it pup, let go, cum for me- He whispers and licks your earlobe. And that’s all that takes for you to disappear from earth, being sucked in by the orgasm that is washing you. You chant his name over and over again, your inner walls clenching around nothing, the climax seems to last for hours. You feel your clit throbbing, thighs full of your own liquids, and you black out.

-____, baby, it’s okay- He hears that you are whimpering, destroyed by pleasure.- Don’t move, let me clean you up-

In a matter of minutes, you start to get conscious, eyelashes batting fast trying to recognize where you are. The aroma of Ten invades you and suddenly you feel calm, you are in his bed, covered, with a white t-shirt and nothing else below that. He is laying besides you, hugging you by your waist, caressing your skin with his thumb.

-Hey, you woke up. I was worried, i thought i knocked you out or something- He smiles, clearly proud of the mess he just made. You slap his shoulder, letting a little laugh slip out of your mouth.

-Sorry-

-About what?-

-I just passed out... i didn’t even suck you off- You legit feel embarassed.

-Ah, ____, i wanted it this way. It was perfect, trust me- He pecks your lips, worried that maybe you won’t believe him- This is what i asked for-

You feel your heart full. Of blood maybe, but it’s a metaphor to explain how complete this man makes you.

-So, are you bisexual or not- You try to change the subject, laying on your side so you can face him. You still don’t get used to the idea that probably, probably you both like eachother. He laughs outloud, with his perfect teeth on display, and then he bites his lip.

-Im ___sexual, for sure-

You don’t know what it’s going to happen before this. But that’s Ten’s essence, he is a complete mystery. And that’s why you are madly in love with him.

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #wayv #nct smut #wayv smut #nct imagines #wayv imagines #kpop smut #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #wayv scenarios #nct ten #wayv ten #chittaphon smut #ten smut #ten scenarios #ten imagines #chittaphon scenarios

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pub-lius · 3 years

Text

ACTUALLY Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton

Alright, take two.

I've already typed this entire thing out once, so this is likely going to be a lot more lazy than anything else I will ever post, so :).

Sources: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow; John Laurens and the American Revolution by Gregory D. Massy; The Federalist by Alexander Hamilton; George Washington's Indispensible Men by Authur S. Lefkowitz; Lafayette by Harlow Giles Unger; Who Was Alexander Hamilton? by Pam Pollack and Meg Belviso

Hamilton wished for a war when he was like a baby. So if you know Hamilton, you know that one line where Hamilton says "As a kid of the Carribean, I wished for a war, I knew that I was poor, I knew it was the only way to rISE UP-" in Right Hand Man. Well, that line is based off of a letter Hamilton sent to his childhood bestie, Edward Stevens: "...Ned, my ambition is [so] prevalent that I... would willingly risk my life, tho' not my character, to exalt my station... I'm no philosopher, you see, and may be jus[t]ly said to build castles in the air... I shall conclude by saying I wish there was a war. Alex. Hamilton." Okay, dude, calm down, you're like two years old. I think he was actually like 14-16, but for dramatic purposes we'll say he was an actual infant (do I sound like Chernow?). But I hate how much this letter foreshadows. It's like he jinxed himself, its almost embarrassing.

Hamilton ran a business at 14. Now if you've ever been fourteen and you were like "i think i feel like running a business" literally shut up no one asked. I think this is impressive. When Hamilton was at least 14, the guys the owned Beekman and Cruger (it had a different name by this time but this one sounds cooler) just dipped and left Hamilton in charge. This was actually a pretty good decision, since Hamilton managed it well. There was also this one time where Hamilton told a whole captain of a ship who didn't perform up to standard, "Reflect continually on the unfortunate voyage you have just made and endeavor to make up for the considerable loss therefrom accruing to your owners." This man was so arrogant I wish I had his confidence. Yeah that was cool ig, but if I met teenage-Hamilton, I'd literally hate him.

Hamilton saved the president of his college. Ever the dramatic, Hamilton had a thing for suppressing mobs (though he was pretty much never successful). There was this one time at King's College where a mob formed to "talk" with the president of the university, Dr. Myles Cooper (by "talk" i mean make him into a tory bird). And, according to Who Was Alexander Hamilton? (this book gives me so much joy), "Alexander vowed to protect him [aww]... He stood up to the crowd, telling them that violence would only hurt their cause. He couldn't stop the crowd, but he delayed them long enough for Dr. Myles Cooper to escape in his nightgown," (Pollack and Belviso 27-29). This is a really sweet description of it, but Hamilton was probably calling the mob a bunch of insults and stuff, judging by how he later handled riots. Also, Cooper thought Hamilton was rallying the mob, so he was a complete jerk to Hamilton, but rightfully. Everyone, bully Hamilton. He's short and dead like an idiot.

Hamilton was really cool on the battlefield, don't @ me. Now, despite being a clumsy little gremlin and an absolute dork, Hamilton was a pretty good leader, and I guess veterans deserve to be recognized for their victories or whatever. At the battle of Princeton, one of my favorites, Hamilton had very big, cool guns, and did some cool stuff. "Returning to the final phase of the battle of Princeton, British infantry took refuge inside Nassau Hall, the building that housed the College of New Jersey. American artillery commanded by Capt. Alexander Hamilton [ya boy] was brought to bear on the college building... Washington was on the scene and noticed this young artillery officer who skillfully commanded his gun battery. The general would soon invite Hamilton to become one of his aides-de-camp," (Lefkowitz 92). Wow so cool moving on to Yorktown.

When the Americans were building their fortifications, two British fortifications were in the way. So rude. Consequently, Washington sent The Gay Trio, Lafayette, Laurens, and Hamilton, to uh, silence them. Hamilton pulled off a successful sneak attack, and won the battle swiftly, leading to the American victory in the battle of Yorktown, and therefore the war. "...Colonel Hamilton['s] well known talents and gallantry were on this occasion most conspicuous and serviceable. Our obligations to him, to Colonel Gimat [stan], to Colonel Laurens, and to each and all the officers are above expression..." -Major General Marquis de Lafayette. Lafayette is so nice I would marry him if he was alive and single and legal and not old as hell. Like omg he gave credit to everyone but himself that's so nice I'm such a simp for Lafayette. Anyway, Hamilton was cool too ig.

Hamilton caused the evacuation of Philadelphia like an iDIOT. So, after Brandywine (British victory), Washington sent Hamilton on a foraging mission in Vally Forge to get flour, horseshoes, and tomahawks (not quite as exciting as Yorktown). Well, our clumsy ginger rat got caught, and wrote to the president of Congress, John Hancock, "If Congress have not yet left Philadelphia, they ought to do it immediately without fail, for the enemy have the means of throwing a party [party rockers in the house tonight] this night into the city. I have just now crossed the valley-ford [Valley Forge], in doing which a party of the enemy came down & fired upon us."

Surprise, this turned out not to be the entire goddamn British army, it was just a few scouts sooo... let's just say Philadelphia wasn't happy. "Our Removal from Philad. Was owning to information that General Howe was crossing Schuylkill [River]... However tho' this Intelligence was from one of the General's family (Alexander Hamilton) it was not well founded & we wish we had not left Philad.," -James Duane. Yeeeaaahhh, that's awkward. Not the best way to get your name known in the capital, I must say.

Hamilton was possibly bisexual, and this is hardcore because I say so. Now, I'll add more quotes to this later, but basically heres my interpretation of the historical evidence and whatnot. Basically, Hamilton was a really closed off, cynical guy, since like everyone he ever loved died or left him pretty much, and he wasn't really the type to make and keep close friends; "...how little dependence is to be placed on treaties, which have no other sanction than the obligations of good faith, and which oppose general considerations of peace and justice to the impulse of any immediate interest or passion," (Federalist 64); It is a known fact in human nature, that its affections are commonly weak in proportion to the distance or diffusiveness of the object," (Federalist 73). Um, Mr. Hamilton? You're projecting your trauma on the government again.

Also, despite working with him for like twenty years, Hamilton really never got close to Washington, like at all. He even said to Laurens, "I have no friendship for him and have professed none," in regards to Washington, which is kind of mean. But he ALSO told Laurens:

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships, I wish, my dear Laurens, it m[ight] be in my power by action rather than words [to] convince you that I love you. I shall only tell you that till you bade us adieu, I hardly knew the value you had taught my heart to set upon you. Indeed, my friend, it was not well done. You know the opinion I entertain of mankind and how much it is my desire to preserve myself free from particular attachments and to keep my happiness independent of the caprice of others. You s[hould] not have taken advantage of my sensibility to ste[al] into my affections without my consent."

*mocking Hamilton* its YOUR fault that i love you and it was RUDE that you FORCED me to love you how DARE you you SUCK i love you uwu.

Also, at the top of that letter, someone mysterious (probably Hamilton's son) wrote, "I must not publish the whole of this," and Massey still thinks Hamilton was straight.

But yeah, that's about it. I had originally written more at the beginning, but I unfortunately lost the original draft, so I'll just settle for this. I hope you enjoyed, though, and maybe learned something or found a quote you needed or something. I did more research than I wanted to in one sitting for this, so appreciate it or I'll cry. Thanks love you <3

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Note

So every member has been posting on weverse or Twitter lately, they've been coming on vlive. But Jk has done none of this. Do you see his social media absence as a silent rebellion against BH for them trying to hide Jikook or do you think he's probably just staying away for like mental health reasons or something.

Run that by me one more time???

Are you asking for my opinion on why JK might be absent from social media or are you asking me to choose between those two opinions as explanation as to why Jungkook might be absent from social media???

Is it for his mental health or relationship??? Lol. You are juxtaposing two extremely opposite theories so one sounds more appealing and plausible to highlight the other as outlandish and ridiculous. But that's a fallacy ma'am. Nice try though.

Also, the part about BigHit hiding Jikook...

I object. You is leading the witness sir/ma'am.

It's a little bit silly and presumptuous to assume whenever a member is absent from social media that the only possible reason I could possibly think of is that they are rebelling against their company.

Sometimes it's just a case of volition and personal interests. Sometimes you just don't wanna be social on social media. Sometimes you have work, family, chores, practice. Sometimes you've outgrown the space or lost track of why you wanted to be apart of an online community in the first place. Sometimes it's the toxicity and wanting to take a break from it for your mental health. Literally a plethora of reasons all of which could be valid depending on the context.

I try to give my theories context by sharing as much of my thought process as possible. It's asinine to strip those contexts away and present me with a skinned theory devoid of context.

About his mental health-

Let's try it this way...

Your first Ask: is there ever a moment I wonder if Jikook are just platonic brothers or something along those lines.

Yes. When they are not together romantically. I look at them and go huh... that's a very platonic hug, or interaction. I still uWu over their interactions though.

Cute. Next.

Is he rebelling against BigHit....

Why would he?? What's the context?

Do you think BigHit is making changes JK and the others might not be happy with in the company? Do you think the company or the members are interfering in his self autonomy and determination within the group or suppressing him in anyway in regards to what he says, what he does or who he does it with?

If so then him rebelling in that way would make sense to me because he wouldn't be the first idol to have used that tactic. A lot of idols do these and worse to assert themselves against their company.

If there's no such underling subtext then him rebelling makes no fucking sense to me.

Is he staying away for his mental health

Again, do you think he's been exposed to severe amounts of toxicity and hate online beyond what all the members experience on a daily such that he would need a break from the internet to rejuvenate like we saw around 2019? If so then taking a break for his mental health would make a lot of sense too.

But for someone who keeps reiterating how important connecting with his fans is to him, you gotta wonder how he strikes a balance between his mental health needs, his emotional needs and his professional deeds.

This is the last he was seen on Weverse.

Relatively recent I'd say. So when you say he's absent from social media which timeframes do you mean? They were all pretty much off the grid until recent times post PTD not just him. Are they all dealing with mental health issues or are they all rebelling against their company or something?

You have all these tiktok trends and memes he's been referring to here and there and incorporating into their freestyle dance- seems to me he's active online alright. Just not in the way we are used to them being 'active' online. He is fulfilling that need to connect with his fans just not in a way you'd expect. I can say same for Jimin.

Just gonna have to observe things for a while to form a definitive opinion. If you know what I mean.

BigHit hiding Jikook

Sigh. Sounds like shade when you put it like that honestly and so I didn't want to touch it but also I don't think anyone in Bangtan has had an out in the open romantic relationship with anyone yet💀

Show me RMs partner or Suga's girlfriend.

BTS are hiding their relationships gay or straight. If you can see it from that angle then I think the idea of Jikook hiding their relationship or Bighit aiding them or asking them to privatize their relationship isn't so outlandish and ridiculous like you make it seem. BTS are allowed to date, they are just not allowed to make those relationships public💀

If Jikook were heterosexuals and in different bands I think a lot of people would have entertained the thought. Hell people are convinced they are each dating female idols and keeping it a secret. People are convinced JK is dating Mijoo and keeping that a secret but him dating a boy in the same band and keeping it a secret is kapushkalava😌

Theories of RM married and raising a kid abounds in this fandom and people entertain the idea. However, because Jikook are in the same band and play out certain interactions in front of the cameras the thought that they may be hiding sounds funny in y'alls ears? Jokers💀

Most idols hide their relationships and are required by their companies to keep that out of the public eye. Jikook are idols ergo they are required to hide and are hiding their relationships be it with themselves or with others.

And yes BigHit does aid them in doing so when they issue statements about that "this relationship rumor is false" or when the members evade questions about their relationships in a way to insinuate they are single and not in relationships.

How Jikook feel about being required by the company to keep their relationships to themselves or their peers taking it upon themselves to enforce those company policies of private relationships is up for debate and speculation.

BTS wrote a whole ass song dissing the company and calling them out for having a no dating policy yet expecting them to write love songs and yet somehow we think it's ridiculous that Jikook who are part of BTS would rebel against their company from time to time over certain mandates? Lmho.

Edit:

This ask was sent in a few days before JK's recent VLive. I started answering it and let it go to draft because I felt it was pointless to answer it. Especially since a lot of my thoughts on this were regurgitative, abstract, and based on my own subjective opinion and assumptions about the boys. I feel I keep repeating myself and repeating the same things I've been saying over and over with these kinds of shady trolling asks. Sigh.

However, due to recent events that gives more credit to my thoughts and feelings on the matter, I'll attempt to answer it again.

In JK's VLive he said he noticed it's been a while he interacted with Fans which is why he jumped on the Live to see Army- if we take his word for it and at face value then he said nothing about his mental health ergo it can't be because of that😌

Tae equally said in his VLive he noticed the others coming on VLive and so he thought he would come too.

Now, don't you think they wouldn't have come so spontaneously if they were dealing with mental health issues or trying to take care of their mental health???

There was a time Tae was constantly online interacting with Fans and I think I was one of the few people out here who speculated he was lonely and wasn't dating anyone at the time- which he confirmed in Soop by the way when he told JK he being online constantly was because he was lonely.

Do you think he staying off Social media in recent times is because of his mental or that he doesn't feel as lonely anymore??

I stay off line sometimes for my mental health, sometimes too it's because I feel there are people and things in my life I've neglected and need to spend time with and pay equal attention to them.

Sometimes it's because there's death in the family or studies, or work or a film I need to catch up on...

As to the relationship between campanies and artists- in case you can't pick up on the subtle cues some of the members leave- Suga captures it so well in his Weverse magazine interview.

We made you, as long as you follow our instructions you will be good. Idols are expected to be subservient and sycophantic. As Suga points out it's a thing in the industry and it's destroying the industry.

As to whether or not you think BTS are fully and totally exempt from this harsh reality because BigHit is different is up to you frankly. As to whether or not you think this type of attitude from companies can create friction and tensions between them and the bands is equally up to you.

As to whether you think certain members in BTS are more obsequious than others, more rebellious than others is equally up to you.

In what ways they rebel is up to you too.

That's part A.

Part B. Lol

I answered the first part of this Ask based on the assumption you were being shady. But just in case you were not then here is an alternative response.

Like I said, JK is not the only member who's been absent from SNS in recent times. They all were at one point.

It's interesting how they will promise to come on Vlive whenever they have some to sell us and only recently started showing up on Vlive consistently when Permission to Dance received such mixed reactions from the audience.

It seems their disconnect from their fanbase and its subsequent consequences is becoming much more apparent to them...

For Jungkook, I think the members discussed his rebellious phase at the beginning of the year when they talked about him not posting for the members's birthday, how they expect his post for Hobi to be a start of something new and Jimin even said he was gonna cut his head off if he didn't post for his birthday- I don't think in all the times he didn't post for the members it's because he was grappling with mental health issues. It's just a post. It doesn't take more than a minute to wish your bandmate a happy birthday on their birthdays.

Especially not when he was posting relatively regularly on SNS but would go radio silent on their birthdays... Forget mental health that's antisocial and we saw how the members felt about that from the VLive.

Also, I think it would be insensitive for the members to expect Jungkook to post on their birthdays or for Jimin to hold him to such high expectations when they know very well that he deals with mental health problems or was dealing with mental health issues in those periods he didn't post for them- whoever says Jungkook didn't post for the members because he was dealing with mental health issues is a fraud. Yea I said it. If I ever spewed that nonsense out here then I'm a fraud too chilee💀

His other forms of silent rebelliousness has been in passive aggressive backhanded remarks aimed at the company and at times certain members. In my opinion of course. He won't do what he won't do and if he has to do it he will do it huffing and puffing and later chat shit about it during pillow talks at night with his boyfriend.

So I don't know what it is he might zeffbe rebelling against now. Like I said, being asked to tone down does not mean he can't Jikook. They are Jikooking. It's just on the low low.

And when you say he is reacting to BigHit hiding Jikook, you have to take into account if Jungkook himself wants to keep things hidden and private. Why would he rebel against something if it's what he wants too?? Know what I mean?

This is why I was talking about context. Jungkook of 2018 and 2019 is not the same Jungkook now. He's pretty much the same person, has the same values but he is learning and growing and that is equally important in the way he sees the world around him.

For instance, he wasn't one to think much about the future when he made certain choices and this is something I've talked about a lot in my blogs. Carpedium, make hay while the sun shines etc used to be his values but now he places a lot of emphasis on thinking about the future, being considerate and about how his actions could impact his future.

Those two mindsets produce totally different actions. One is likely to do very childish things, one is not. One is likely to be reckless, not very ambitious, and less serious, while one is likely to be thoughtful, calculative, intentional and less impulsive. He talks a lot about growing up fast but now it seems to me he's catching up with the times.

This is not to say he is a different person but more so he is becoming. He is learning and unlearning. He is not there yet but he is getting there.

If he wants to sit with Jimin, Vlive with Jimin, post on his birthday and not the others, if he wants to stand in a line up next to him but he can't then definitely he's gonna react strongly to that. But as it stands he is not doing any of that in my opinion- not that I'm aware of. Dude is living his best life out here.

I think I've said this, he is happy with where they are at now. If he is not we will know. That's when they ghetto jumps out of him. Don't know if I'm making sense chilee. Lol.

On the part of the company, I can only speculate to the effect that they are looking for various means to optimize and leverage the bands high demand. That they are trying to monetize their platforms and so restricting access to the boys is part of their mid pandemic marketing strategy- something I have been saying from day dot since the pandemic hit.

Like Suga says, monetization is a huge problem in Kpop and the Pandemic has only exacerbated it.

Showing up on Vlive gives us free access to the boys. As often as we would like to see them through that medium it doesn't pay their bills- doesn't pay much especially if they earn money in Won or whatever currency Naver uses.

YouTube is great. However it comes with restrictions and challenges especially with censorship- videos can be demonetized easily and willy nilly, You have to comply with Coppa and YT guidelines. There's CPM- whixh I don't know if it's high for BTS...

Then there's that whole breaching into Korea/China market agenda going on with them etc

Bighit is a business. BTS is not a nonprofit organization. I think the members can understand that much should the company explain to them why they all- not just Jikook- need to limit access to them.

Bighit made them and holds a contract over their heads. There's a certain amount of control they have over them yet a certain level of autonomy they reserve within such a transaction or business relationship.

Take Tae's appearance in Peakboy's MV for example. It's indication BTS does have a ree will to embark on such out of company adventures. There's Hwarang and features and all these side hustles they do...

Yet in the same breath they were at one point prohibited from taking photos with fans on the streets and stuff like that- I guess I should say allegedly.

If they want to VLive they will- as to whether or not they can VLive outside schedule is another thing all together.

As spontaneous as their VLives can be, a lot of them are scheduled too. So it's interesting how they all went MIA for a noticeable minute without the company officially scheduling these 'compulsory' Fan interactions via Vlive or even YT.

Let's not pretend they don't post sometimes on behalf of certain members. Let's not pretend that that doesn't happen💀

Jungkook showed up on YT grumpy and passive aggressive talking about that he didn't know he was supposed to do a VLive, he wasn't prepared, his hair was messy, he didn't know how to operate things- sigh.

Then he nagged us to death about the arts and crafts thingy... but in his recent live he said singing is all he can do so he sang and thrust his hips away- we can't be mad at that.

So if your question is whether I think there's something up with BTS and how they are interacting with fans or not interacting with fans my answer is yes. I mean that much is obvious...

Money is the root of all evil blink blink. Lol.

Do I think there's something up with Jikook and BigHit my answer is yes still- my theory?? Well I'm still observing things and hoarding information. Can't put out half baked theories you know?

I'm a professional ship delulu theorist and I take my delusions seriously😐

I can say this though, I think BigHit has a lot to lose now that they are a publicly traded company. They have investors and stockholders they hold themselves accountable to- how the fear of a scandal or the stigma of a queer relationship plays into all that is yet to be seen.

They are trying to mitigate that risk through strategic marketing and business models- separating BigHit under Hybe is one, their partnership with Dispatch has always been one. There's just so much they are doing we don't know and can only assume or infer.

If their recent interviews and line of questioning has taught me anything, it's that they are all well aware of our theories on BTS and speculations on their sexuality and if Taemin's manager can ask him or was asked if he was dating Kai to his face then others can equally speculate, wonder and ask BigHit directly if Jikook being the sticky ones in the group are dating fueled by all the fandom theories out there.

Rumour says Jikook is gay and are dating eachother. How Bighit feels about this, how BTS feel about it, how Jikook feel about it open for discussion.

There are those who just want to nip all such rumours in the bud and those who want to lean into it and and profit off of it because negative attention is still attention.

Which brings me to your question about Jikook, because I see you sent that Ask in twice, they sure as hell are goofy and dorky. Jungkook admitted that much in his interview.

They are the ones to troll the lives out of us and feed into our delusions of them. It's why most people dismiss them as messing with fans and playful and fanservicey.

So I find it interesting that the members calling them a couple because of their outfits isn't being taken as goofy, dorky, fanservicey but as a reason to further invalidate their relationship.

If you can't take whatever Jikook says and does seriously then you certainly can't take whatever anyone says and does concerning them seriously either.

I will answer the rest of it under the Ask you sent in. This post is getting longer already.

I hope this helps.

GOLDY

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ascalonianpicnic · 3 years

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so the twisted marionette is back and it seems like a good time for this~ @mystery-salad requested I do an essay on Scarlet and discrimination in STEM so~

Warning: discussions of sexism, racism, and ableism. If I got anything wrong (in terms of real world issues) or was disrespectful in any way about certain subjects please let me know

Hey, let's talk about Scarlet Briar.

More specifically, I wanna talk about Ceara, and how she became Scarlet Briar. Because I'm a gay mathematician and former computer science major, and I think Scarlet is cool.

So let's start here. STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) is a heavily male dominated set of fields and career paths. A few decades back in the real world, there was this deep set societal belief, at least in western society, that cis women were just "worse" at STEM related things like math and chemistry. It's not as visible of an issue now, but, like I said, STEM fields are still really male dominated, and that's because STEM fields still have a massive issue with sexism. Women have full on left the field due to the sexism they faced in workplaces in just the last decade. Trans women in STEM share really interesting and important personal accounts about how before transitioning, they were treated with respect, offered high level jobs, and entrusted with loads of responsibility, and how post transition, despite having even more experience, are offered significantly lower level jobs, worse pay, and are all around treated like they know less. STEM has a sexism problem.

So, why is this important to Scarlet? Well, her backstory and her life before Omadd's Machine actually tie in to this real world issue in a really fascinating way. It's about Respect. And Scarlet's story is about how she was denied respect over and over, because she was a sylvari, because she was a woman, and because she was neurodivergent. Let's talk about Ceara.

Ceara was a sylvari secondborn, and an engineer from the start. She emerged from the Pale Tree when her race was still brand new to the world and largely unknown. She spent 8 years of her life studying all the Grove had to offer her about mechanics and nature and the universe. She was born curious and as such, was determined to learn everything and anything she could get her hands on. After her time in the Grove, Ceara left, off to find new teachers and extend her knowledge further. After the Grove cane Beigarth, a famed norn smith. He gladly took Ceara under his wing, seeing her genius and potential. For a year, she trained under him, his best student. Then, much to his dismay, she left, feeling she had learned all he could offer about what she wanted to know. She moved south, going to study under iron legion gladium and demolitionist Asagai. Asagai was an old charr, and it took some convincing on Ceara's end, but she eventually took the sylvari in and taught her about gunsmithing and artillery. And after two years, Ceara moved on again, this time heading for Rata Sum and its colleges.

The asura of Rata Sum did Not like Ceara. She had to fight to be allowed to study at the colleges. She won in the end, being admitted into the college of Dynamics. Within a year, she finished the course work, and, feeling like she was finally getting somewhere, she applied again, this time getting admitted to Statics. Two years and two colleges down, at the top of her class both times, Scarlet still wanted more. The Arcane council was curious now if she could keep this streak up, so they let her enter Synergetics. This was what she had been looking for, and she got deep into her studies, taking her time. The Arcane council was unimpressed with her work at best. While not driven from the colleges, she found herself being walked off and looked down on more and more, so she sought other sources. These other sources, both of knowledge and support, came from the inquest, and it wasn't long before she fell in deep. It didn't last, however. When the krewe she was working with ran into trouble, she was abandoned as a scapegoat, and thrown out of the asuran colleges. She wandered on her own for a while, taking the time to study alchemy with the michotl hylek, but mostly keeping to herself. Until Omadd found her, pulled her back into his personal research, and, with her help, built Omadd's machine. Once it was finished, Ceara walked in, and Scarlet walked out.

Sexism in STEM means that people perceived as female are often perceived as knowing or understanding less than they actually do. It's because of this that you'll find young cis male students in STEM classes trying to correct or speak over their female presenting professors. It's why you'll find men at science conferences telling the women presenting for certain topics that they don't seem to understand the topic they're covering or grasp the basics that well, and then recommending or referencing books and research papers written by these women. It means that women will often be overlooked for internships, research positions, and grants. And that is the sort of thing Scarlet faced as a young woman trying to learn everything she could. She had to work for the apprenticeships she could get, and with Beigarth, despite how highly he thought of her, she had to work harder to prove she was ready for more each step of the way. Finding anyone to teach her at all among the charr was a struggle, until an older woman took her in. And no one in Rata Sum took her seriously.

There was more than just the fact that Scarlet was a woman at play with Rata Sum though. As stated, STEM has a bad sexism problem. But that's not all. STEM isn't just mostly men, but also mostly white men, and as such, the fields have a bit of a racism problem as well. Personally, I can only speak so much to this as I myself am white, have never faced racism, and never will face racism. I do know that the intelligence, skill, and effort of people of color goes largely unacknowledged. They will be denied the same opportunities and respect that their white peers receive, and their work and contributions will be ignored, exploited, and stolen.

Racism in Tyria isn't the same as it is in the real world, though it is still present there, and prevalent. And it is something Scarlet has to face and struggle with repeatedly as a sylvari. The sylvari are young and new to Tyria. Because of this, the other prominent groups all tend to think of sylvari as innocent, ignorant, and overly naive. The asura are especially bad about this. They already think of themselves as the smartest of Tyria's inhabitants, above everyone else. And when they first encounter the sylvari, the asura refuse to believe this new group could even be sentient. So, when 11 year old Ceara shows up at the colleges, the Arcane Council and the asura in general doubt she could possibly understand asuran studies. She's a sylvari, after all, and just a girl on top of that. There's surely no way she could keep up.

So when this young sylvari girl finishes at the top of her class in just a year, not once but twice, the Arcane council is intrigued. They don't respect her. They don't hold her work in high esteem. But they do want to know if this is some sort of fluke or if she can do it again. So she's admitted into the third and final college, and when she gets caught up in her studies, genuinely interested and invested in what she's learning and wanting to take her time to take it all in, the Council is disappointed. Never mind that Scarlet has already done what no other non-asura has. She took too long doing what she loved, learning, so the Council dismisses her, and dismisses her hard work. Her theories are looked down upon and ignored, and she is left with only support from Omadd, who can use her and her theories for his own gain, and the inquest. Omadd and the inquest make her feel valued and respected. The inquest let's her try anything she wants, it lets her really explore the fields of study she's most drawn to. The inquest makes sure to profit off her hard work and, when it comes down to it, the inquest leaves her to take the fall for everything. It's easy, after all, to pin the blame on someone already so looked down on by the society she's in. Scarlet is kicked out of the colleges and the city. She loses her access to information, her belongings, and even her own research and findings. All her hard work, taken from her because the inquest was more than glad to use a sylvari.

And then of course, there's Omadd. He was glad to have Scarlet as a lab assistant, and endlessly fascinated by and supportive of her work. So once she's gone from Rata Sum, he leaves too, taking her research and starting on his own personal project. He gets stuck, he seeks Scarlet out, and he convinces her to help him again. Once Scarlet is back on board, the project goes smoothly and the two construct Omadd's Machine. Omadd's. Despite being built off Scarlet's theories and research, despite her being integral to the construction of this machine, it's Omadd's and it carries his name. Funny how that happens, isn't it? And once the machine is up and running, he thinks Scarlet should test it first. Who knows what could happen in there, better to leave it up to the assistant to try it out, and frame it as her getting the honor of the first try. As we all know, it goes poorly. Scarlet learns so much more, all the knowledge she had been seeking for over a decade, but in return, the seeds of Mordremoth are planted in her mind and slowly take over, destroying her.

Now Scarlet, who has been used and devalued and disrespected and infantilized every step of the way, her whole life, is going to start tearing down the things that held her back for so long. She just needs a plan, and with the help of a certain sleeping dragon, one begins to form.

There's something I glossed over earlier that is so important to note, and that's how Scarlet was treated in the Grove. Now, it's been stated explicitly by Scott McGough, a narrative designer for the fame, that Scarlet emerged with lacking empathy. Low empathy doesn't make Scarlet, or anyone, a bad person. It's sometimes a symptom of autism, as well as some personality disorders, and it does affect how Scarlet is treated. As an autistic person myself, Scarlet very much reads as autistic to me, between low empathy, a one track mind, and an intense special interest in the universe and its mechanics. She has a hard time connecting with others, is easily bored by subjects that don't relate back to her special interest, can focus intently on and get caught up in her work, and doesn't really get social graces or expectations. Regardless of any diagnosis she would have if she existed in our world, Scarlet is treated differently due to her low empathy, a trait she cannot help about herself.

From the moment she emerges in the Grove, she is treated differently. She is talked down to. Her desire to take in her first sights and how it overwhelms her is dismissed as overconfidence and rudeness. Her own brother, barely older than her, talks like he knows so much more than her. Scarlet is an outsider among her own people. How does it feel to have low empathy among a race connected to each other deeply through empathy? Probably not great. Her studies in the Grove are limited, she is treated as rude and prideful for wanting to be independent and needing space. Rather than being accommodated, rather than being understood, Scarlet is infantilized, dismissed, and disregarded. She isn't neurotypical. She was born different. She's punished for it.

When she emerges from Omadd's Machine, made from her own hard work and creativity, Scarlet Briar is a young woman who has frequently been overlooked and rarely understood. All these thoughts and ideas, all this passion, and the only people who have ever even seemed to understand her have used and betrayed her so thoroughly. Scarlet Briar has always had to look out for and take care of herself, as a woman, as a sylvari, as someone who is neurodivergent and is in a field that doesn't respect a single aspect of her identity. The world won't accommodate her and the world won't take her seriously. So why shouldn't she show the world what she can do? Why not force everyone to recognize her for who she is? Why not give in just a little to that voice that has been calling to her in her nightmares since she left the machine? After all, it promises power and recognition and a sense of belonging.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #scarlet briar #my essays #anyway uvu

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your-fave-transboy · 3 years

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My SVU Headcanons - SFW

These are just random things that I've thought about or put into fics, usually things I can't begin to explain. I do not own the characters, I just use 'em for personal enjoyment. I'll probably add more to this as I go through the seasons. I have an NSFW version saved bc I'm a thirsty young bisexual, but I could also be tempted to do individual headcanons.

Olivia can cook. Like, even before Noah, my woman could throw down some mean Thanksgiving meals. She seems like she'd make bomb ass comfort food.

Munch 10000% watches Buzzfeed: Unsolved an has roped Fin into watching it with him. (He likes Shane more than Ryan)

Rafael has read all three of the Fifty Shades books. And seen the movies. He doesn't enjoy them, but he has read them.

Sonny still makes old school mixtapes burned onto CDs even after playlists gain popularity. He has notably made Southern Lady Jams for Rollins and Badass Bops to Hum in Court for Barba.

This is straight up canon tbh. Olivia has slept with Alex, Casey, and Barba at least once. She has a lawyer fetish

Elliot Stabler can sing surprisingly well. I have no proof, just a feeling in my spirit. His go-to song of choice is obviously old bc he's ancient, like Elvis or Sinatra. Neither of which are super old but yeah.

On the note of music, Sonny can play the piano bc he had to learn for church bc he's a good lil Catholic boy. Plus his fingers are perfect for plenty of things if ya get what I'm puttin' down.

Rollins will purposefully thicken her Southern accent and say y'all've't to fuck with Rafael, our favorite grammatically correct king.

Fin has gone to Pride with his son if just to protect his boy (after he gets over all the usual homophobia and shit)

Fin has also drunkenly kissed Munch, and they both argue that the other person started it.

Huang would easily be attracted to Rafael bc who wouldn't? They're both smart and have a dry kind of humor that goes underappreciated at times.

Olivia will fight a transphobe, especially in later seasons. This is a personal headcanon mainly meant to make myself feel better :)

Elliot can tie a cherry stem with his tongue, same with Alex.

Rita Calhoun and Rafael have had sex in his office at least once. I am sure of it.

Casey plays softball in a lot of fics which I support whether its canon or not, but she is probably so ungraceful otherwise lmao. Like home girl will trip over air when not wearing heels.

Rollins brought home all kinds of animals as a kid, ranging from stray dogs/cats to the occasional raccoon, and once a squirrel.

Alex likes rap music. Akon is her favorite after the release of "Smack That", but her favorite song would have to be "Beautiful". Runner up rappers are Kanye and Nelly.

On the same hand, Olivia likes country music, new and old. She plays it when she's mad bc everyone else hates it until Rollins shows up. When mad at whoever she is dating, Olivia will play Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman" at full volume.

I am a firm believer that Munch likes cats. I will not be giving an explanation as to why at this time.

Rita does not enjoy defending the scum of the earth, but is afraid of starting over somewhere else. She has entertained the notion of moving to SVU and working with Rafael. Rita also struggles with alcohol abuse because of her feelings for the job.

Sonny likes Broadway musicals because of his sisters. His favorite is Hairspray or Les Mis. (Mine is Phantom of the Opera tho, same as Rafael, I'm convinced.)

Elliot likes to play games on his phone. Shit like pac-man, tetris, and temple run. He will play temple run all through quarantine.

In my head, all these assholes are bisexual. It just explains all the tension tbh.

Everyone who has walked through the SVU doors has thought about sleeping with Olivia. Gay, straight, bi, doesn't matter. Everyone wants to fuck Olivia.

Sonny, Rollins, Rafael, Casey, and Alex have "Olivia Benson Fan Club" t-shirts.

Rita fosters cats.

Huang likes video games. Not FPS or anything violent, but shit like Minecraft/Stardew/Animal Crossing because they're simple.

Sonny plays laser tag in his free time.

Olivia has gotten in plenty of bar fights defending women and will gladly use her badge to get out of charges.

Olivia speaks Italian, Russian, French, and Spanish in canon. She talks to Rafael in Spanish and Sonny in Italian. She calls Rafael Querido and Sonny mio amico.

Sonny protects women in bars and clubs, wards off strange dudes and frat boys but like politely? He kills these assholes with kindness until they leave.

On the other hand, Rafael aggressively flirts with predatory straight men. Homie does not hesitate.

After Casey is suspended, she ends staying at Liz Donnelly's place a lot. They become a couple via accident kitten acquisition.

Law and Order: SVU - NSFW

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twink-frank · 3 years

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hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

#adrian speaks #mcr #pencey prep #frank iero

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