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savnofilter · 8 months

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At First | Izuki Midoriya

Pro Hero!Izuku Midoriya x Fiancé![FEM]Reader

WARNING(S): sexual content, brat!reader, oral (f -> m), face fucking, reader low-key annoying asf, reader gets their doonies beat down, reader is a crier and squirter, mating press, reader is folded as she gets fucked, sometimes Midoriya gives mercy, sex with (barely) any clothes on, Midoriya is a big fan of eye contact, hickies, reader has brunch with bsf in the morning, established relationship.

WORD COUNT: 3.5k (14 mins).

READ MORE: masterlist + [students masterlist]

A/N: this originally was supposed to be written during panini19 so i had to come up with a new context as to why reader and midoriya were 'stuck' together. ☠️ either way i think i salvaged this pretty okay! wish i had finished this sooner lol... but anyways, thank you anon & @chxrryp0p !!

Being cooped up in your shared penthouse was starting to become unbearable.

For Midoriya, less for you.

You see, recently, Midoriya has been on break for about a month, and the country was trying to adjust to it all. At certain times, he would have to clock in for emergency missions. Still, other than that, he has been vacationing with you, his fiancé, for about a month now.

At first, it was terrific. The saying that the heart grows fonder the longer you’re away is absolutely correct. Midoriya was all over you with his overwhelming urge to smother you in affection when he finally returned from being away for so long. You two would wake up, cook together, eat, have a good time for some of the afternoon, and then spend the rest of the night,, “catching up.” You did this routinely so that neither of you had to say what to do next for the day. You just knew. Later that night, you two would reconnect like tenfold when he would be off to save a city or something.

So yes, at first, it was great. Then, your behavior started to change.

However, not in a way that he found unbearable, but in a way that annoyed him. You would make little jokes about how “smol” he was—he hadn’t heard shit like that in years—or bluntly tease him about how subby and whiny he could get during sex.

“Hey, Izuku, can you get that for me?” You ask, pointing to the pair of headphones that dropped on the floor not too long ago.

Midoriya, being the kind fiancé he is, picks it up without a second thought, oblivious to your other ulterior motives. He’s met with a mischievous look when he hands you the earbuds, his brows furrowed in confusion when you grin at him. “What’s funny…?” He questions as he watches you start to giggle to yourself.

You shake your head and wave a dismissive hand at him. “Oh, nothing….” You teasingly chide him, thanking him for the kind gesture before folding your lips in to keep yourself from continuing to make jokes about him. He narrows his eyes, not necessarily at anything but indeed in annoyance. Midoriya rolls his eyes at what you were wordlessly insinuating.

“I’m not.”

“I’m just teasing you~” You sing in his ear and grin when he turns to you with a glare. “Do you want to prove it to me?”

“Prove what?” He mumbles against your lips. He rests his phone down to properly wrap his arms around your waist now that you two are face to face. “Why do you insist I’m “pure”-”

“You are!” You laugh, “I’m just saying… with us spending so much time together now, I think I’m just now realizing how cute you are…” You trail off and give the corner of his lips a chaste kiss as a mock reassurance. You maintain eye contact with him when you pull away and get between his legs, hands resting on his knees.

Midoriya now has a clear image of you on your knees in front of him with an expression of deviance that didn’t sit right with him. A flustered blush starts to form on his face before deepening a bit as he feels a boner begin to form. Your ‘outfit’ left almost nothing to the imagination, and the visual was starting to get to him. Rolling his eyes, your fiancé decides not to entertain or indulge your persistent behavior, though. His ignorance of your obvious motives makes you pout, crossing your arms as you challenge him. Your one-sided stare off with him ultimately bugs him, your hot gaze making him stare back at you. He sighs, resting his phone down again, and crosses his arms, his body language cutting you off. “But?”

“A sub would say no~” Your grin finds its way back to your face as you watch your boyfriend’s face twist into an expression of one you’ve never seen him wear before. The lucky sensation of hitting the jackpot crawls through your body; your plan finally falling into place. It was evident that your egging on was affecting him, and today, you made sure to wear something skimpy and easy to take off, too. It was only a matter of time before you could have him right where you wanted him.

Your fiancé tries ignoring you further, not wanting to deal with your brat behavior. Maybe he is a sub. Even with all this teasing, Midoriya still holds his urge to pin you down and fuck you into oblivion. But it felt different in his circumstance; if you could be a brat, he could also be a brat. He slowly shrugs off his annoyance, a deep sigh leaving him as he returns to scrolling on his phone and quietly gives you the silent treatment. There is no mistaking the disappointment that runs through your body, and now you’re thinking of the next part of your plan: provoke him with your actions.

Your hands on his knees slowly slide up his sweatpants, covering his thighs, squeezing periodically as they slowly rise on their intended arrival. You’re looking up at him with clear intent of what you will do, but he doesn’t look back.

‘fine, two could play at this game.’ a game at which you had started. You didn’t care about the audacity; you were in the mood to annoy your fiancé.

Your softly padded fingers finally make it to his hips. You lean up a bit to press more of your weight onto his body, the feeling making him budge. One of his favorite things about having sex with you was that he loved feeling your weight on him. Most times out of ten, when you did press against him, it was an easy ticket that would lead to the inevitable.

His cold demeanor still held up, although you knew his body was fighting to keep a strong front. You lean forward to kiss against his exposed abdomen; since he tends not to wear shirts at home, you can feel his soft but taught skin under your needy lips. One of your hands slips down to palm at his rising boner, a gentle hum of approval coming from you as you feel his length. Your other hand tugs at the side of his sweats, your eyes flickering to gaze at him.

He merely gives a glance once he realizes you’re looking at him, your eyes asking for permission. He presses his lips together and helps lift his hips, your kisses still descending to where he needed it most.

You don’t break eye contact until you have his cock freed from its confines, causing his length to tap you in the face lightly. Your mouth watered as it twitched once in need, and your pussy started to crave the feeling of wanting it inside there too. You double grip the base of his length before leaning in and pressing your tongue flat against the underside of his tip, your eyes now back on him again. The game of getting him off his phone is proven successful as he now has his full attention on you, his expression nothing but lust with a noticeable building pressure of his annoyance behind it. His breathing has deepened, though, and that was due to the fact you knew how to suck him off real good.

Your tongue laps at his tip, the textured and wet muscle dragging across the sensitive part, making his hips buck up to feel more of it. A grunt from deep within his chest lets you know his patience is starting to run thin, and it took everything in you not to smile. Still, you continue to tease. Your hands languidly stroking at his lengthy dick, a soft hum coming from you as the taste of pre-cum starts to cover your taste buds.

Midoriya would be a panting mess on a regular day, begging you for more, but today, he was feeling different. Today, you were making him feel feral. The way you can push his buttons was no joke, but you always knew when not to cross a line. With one hand, he rested his hand on top of your head. He slowly forces your mouth further onto his length, a slight but sadistic smirk clawing at his lips, watching as your hands stop their stroking to find refuge on the conjuncture of where his hips and thighs meet, needing to brace yourself as you take in his entire length into your mouth.

“Suck.”

You squeeze your eyes shut as you feel the tip of his cock poke at the back of your throat, his hand unmoving, and you know that you have no choice but to do as he says. With all the might you can courage, you suckle as you can, drool starting to pool from how open your mouth sat on his member. When you whimper and tap his leg, he finally lets you up on his own accord. Midoriya decides to be generous and lets you start at your own pace. At first, you were going at a comfortable pace, the tempo and suction he was used to, and he couldn’t complain. But just like many times during this break when he has given you an inch, you would sprint a mile.

An ingenious idea pops up in your head to catch him off guard. While bobbing your head, you reach the base of his length and deep throat him again, just like when you first started. But this time, you didn’t shy away from looking up at him with fake innocence as you pulled away and took it slow instead. Midoriya’s once complicit hand now grips your hair to control your bobbing. The more he guides you, the more he doesn’t stop himself from reveling in the sight of you starting to become a slobbering mess as your attempts to tease were really starting to piss him off. Midoriya then places both his hands on the side of your head after widening his stance on the ground and sprawls a bit to gain more strength in his movements. You weren’t sure what he was doing until a strong kick of your gag reflex hit you.

He fucks his hips into your mouth as you try to keep up, eyes alarmed and hands gripping at him for support. You now had no other choice but to take him in, still bobbing your head like the greedy brat you are. You could faintly hear his labored breathing over the sounds of your poor mouth taking in his face fucking, the feeling sending deep arousal straight to your crouch.

You shift as you try to somehow ease the tension between your thighs, your eyes now prickling with tears in frustration as you so badly want to touch yourself. The ability to do that was simply impossible because you had no choice but to take your fiancé’s girthy cock in your mouth. You squeeze your thighs together to release the build-up tension in your loins, trying to brace yourself for what will happen next.

“Look at me,” Midoriya commands, a tug at your hair, making you peek an eye at him. You don’t miss the dark look in his eyes as you undoubtedly look at a mess. All of your control surrendered to him and the rough pace of his hips. For a moment, he stops altogether, and your confused eyes are peering up at him again for guidance. He tugs you off by the base of your neck, eyes dark as he stands up. Consequently, your confusion doesn’t last very long before he’s guiding your head to retake his length now that he’s standing up.

It’s obscene how the sound of you swallowing his cock echoes in the spacious living room; the bustling city sounds quickly drowned out by your full mouth, his heavy breathing, and even some of his soft profanities and sounds of pleasure to accompany yours. You don’t try to hide that you have now slipped one of your hands into your loose and tiny shorts, your other hand holding onto him for support. Your knees, although separated enough to take in his rough thrusts, were probably starting to bruise, but you didn’t care. You shamelessly moaned as your fingers played with your wet snatch; the slight hum to your noises aiding you not to gag on his length.

“Look at me, Y/N.” Midoriya tugs at your hair again to let you know he means business. Once you look up at him, he groans at your tear-filled eyes and presses you fully against the bush at the base of his cock. He holds you there as he wordlessly finishes down your throat, rocking his hips to ride the rest of his load into the back of your throat. You gurgle on his length before he pulls you away, you recoiling as you desperately try to gain your breath back from it being prolongedly taken away from you. He watches you choke and catch your breath, patting your hair down as you compose yourself. “You alright?”

You nod and wipe your mouth, only for him to grip your wrist and pick you up. He quickly tosses you onto the couch, and he’s on you, leaning down to give your messy mouth a searing kiss. His hands are heavy and fast on you, his fingers tugging down your useless tank, and his other moves your shorts and panties to the side, not bothering to get a lick of clothes off your body correctly. As you’re distracted by the kiss, he slips his tip into you, the poke making you flinch at the contact. Your hands helplessly grip him as he pulls away.

Midoriya looks down between both of you to watch as his cock splits you open, his hands finding the back of your knees and pressing your thighs close to your chest in a mating press. You gasp as you can’t help but suck in a small breath and feel the weight of his cock slip inside you, the position not allowing you to adjust.

“Z-Zuku, wait—!” You pleaded. A winded groan escapes your lips, and you tilt your head against the sofa. “I-I have brunch tomorrow afternoon! I can’t take it like this-”

“Mm, should’ve thought of that before pissing me off.” Midoriya dismisses your sorry excuse to get out of this mess. A mess you started. A mess that you curated. A mess that you caused. He wasn’t having any of it. If you wanted him like this, then he’d play the role.

Despite his words before, he did give you a moment or two before he began thrusting inside of your hungry cunt. His thrusts were heavy and fast, and he wasn’t sparing you the grace of not bottoming out, which he knew you hated. The noises you let out were nothing but obscene. The leather couch squeaked in protest while your moans fought back in an obnoxious match of who could desperately cling to reality. Your pussy is so undoubtedly wet, and your sloppy blowjob from earlier helped with the fact he had no issues to hinder him fucking you silly now.

He watches in glee with hungry eyes as your face rivals a pornstar, and nothing but lust and submission is written all over your face. With each thrust, your chest jiggles at the force, the sight making his cock twitch again. He waits no longer to lean down and take a nipple into his mouth, teeth nipping at the sensitive bud before sucking feverishly. He loves your chest, and the fact that at this pace made them look more delectable. He is generous in leaving other marks on your chest to compliment your clear skin, wanting everyone to know what you made him do. A chuckle tickles your skin as he can’t help but find it funny that your words aren’t coherent anymore.

“Is this what you wanted, hm? To be fucked like a little slut?” Midoriya spits out at you as he straightens to hold your thighs up. He moves to the side of the couch so your lower body rests on the arm of the chair, an angle that makes your body fold from the hold. His heavy thrusts successfully knock the wind out of you, the impact springing, overstimulating tears to your eyes. Your trembling hands were trying hard to keep up by gripping the seat beneath you, but it was useless. Your feeble attempts were no match for him.

Your whimpering at the new angle is all he needed to know that you are enjoying this. It was evident by the way that the tears that rolled down your face were evidence that you were indeed close. He glares down at you as he speaks, “Touch yourself, Y/N.”

You tilt your head up and hum as you almost didn’t hear him. He reaches down to roughly rub your clit to wake you up, the gesture indeed doing the job. You cry out at the feeling and hurriedly reach down to do the work instead, a shiver wracking through you as you follow his command. Your cunt is unbelievably tight around him, and the squeeze makes him dizzy. “Cum, please let me cum, please,” You beg, getting lost in his fucking. There were no thoughts at all in your head. Just dick and knowing you wouldn’t get off easy if you came without asking.

Your fiancé grunts as you start to fumble with your words, bearing witness to you getting fucked so stupid that you had no choice but to fall into what you knew you needed most. Today, although you irked him to no end, Midoriya was feeling gracious and let you release first after feeling his second climax coming around the corner. When you finish, it happens so fast that it was almost painful. Your body shook as you squirted on him and yourself, your body freezing as your walls pulsed around his length, his hips stuttering against yours as he couldn’t help but finish in you. Midoriya leans down to sloppily kiss you as you both come down from your high. It wasn’t long before he was pulling away and flipping you over, hands on your breasts and his chest pressed against your back as his cock was back inside your sensitive cunt. Midoriya was sure that you were fucked dumb at this point, but he, too, was pussy drunk over you as well.

Indeed, a few more rounds could cure his lust.

— ✮ ★ ☆ —

"Y/N!" Your best friend calls out to you when she notices your figure approaching her.

You smile and awkwardly walk over to her, a noticeable limp to your stride as much as you try to hide it. She raises a brow at the display, her eyes trailing your unmistakably disheveled appearance. However, you did look put together all the while.

“You okay, N/N?”

“Y-Yeah! Of course, why?” You rush to answer her question with your own. You and her have a stare-down once she notices you haven’t sat down yet, and you know the act added to her suspicion.

“Why won’t you sit down?” She accuses, brow raised. You nervously laugh it off and forcefully push her shoulder as your rough handling earns a dirty look from her.

“I’m getting there, you know?!” You smile hard, your words with a grit added to your speech from your teeth being clenched together. Still, the awkward eye contact continues as you try to hide the wince as you sit in front of her. Suddenly, her eyes and face lit up like a bulb had gone off.

“No fuckin’ way-!”

“Watch your freaking mouth,” You mumble as people start to look over, and you try to cover up your skin that exposes your neck.

“I’m going to take a wild guess that the reason you didn’t respond to me till this morning, didn’t join the group call, now wearing suspiciously warm clothes for the hot weather and walking weirdly is because of him?” She leans on the table to get a closer look at you with a shit-eating grin as if she already knew the answer.

“... yes.” You also break out into a stupid grin, you two giggling like madmen as she slaps your arm at the admission.

“So the plan worked?! You got to tell me everything!”

As you catch your friend up on everything, you can’t help but feel bad for egging Midoriya on for as long as you did… but it was all worth it. At first, the idea to annoy him was simply a dare. Still, soon enough, it became a plan to see another side of your fiancé you realize you had never seen before.

After the many rounds yesterday, you did find out and learn your lesson, though. Before you fell asleep for the night, you did apologize to him for being a brat, and you two fell asleep to a movie after having a much-needed takeout meal that rivaled a mukbang from your activities.

One thing was for sure, though: your state of the aftermath was a great way to remind yourself not to annoy him as much as you had prior.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha smut #mha smut #midoriya izuku x reader #pro hero!midoriya izuku x reader #bnha x black!reader #mha x black!reader #bnha x poc!reader #mha x poc!reader #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #n/sfw #sav's saucin'

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kristlewrites · 6 months

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"Monster"

CW: virgin reader, nicknames (dear, sweetcheeks, sunshine, mamas & baby, ma) foreplay, gojo is biter lol, unprotected sex.

PAIRING: Wolf!Gojo x Blk!Fem Reader

WC: 3.3k

🫧🗯️: Now this has PLOT omgg there is alot of dialouge and story build up in the begining but dw there is alot of smut to make up for it as well. This being one of my longest fics ive written is crazy, I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing this. This is like a Halloween treat for you guys :PP

MINORS DNI

“Don't forget !”

Your mom's voice rings through your head., You mustn't forget about your granny and her medicine. You loved your dear grandma and she loved you just as much. When you heard she was sick you wanted to do everything in your power to help her feel better as quickly as possible, she was a fragile being and her health was poor. But even then she still has the heart to visit both you and your mother every week. Now it was your turn to return her kindness and care for her just as much as she cared for you. You wear your cute white dress, and over it place a red hood matching it with your black mary janes.

There was just one problem, a huge problem. You had no clue where you were going! Your mom had just told you to go through the forest and there wouldn't be a problem. But you were awful with directions, you couldn't tell your left from right even if it cost your life. Nonetheless you had to give this to your granny. It was a basket full of fruits, blueberry muffins (her favorites) and of course medication. She would be more than delighted to see you, it's been a while since you've last contacted her and you wanted to make sure she was okay. Walking out with a new found determination you walk over to the forest at the back of your house.

Strolling along the path you admire the scenery that splays out in front of you. Ginormous trees, luscious green grass, and the soothing sounds of a lake. You don't understand why you haven't been to your grandmother's house often. The route itself is gorgeous.

Time goes by quickly when you realize how cold it's gotten. The trees were so tall you couldn't see the sun, so you weren't aware of how much time it had been.

“I guess I forgot how long it took to get there.” You pout at yourself while taking a turn

“Oh my gosh, I have to get there quickly omg..” you cry out. You were so tired of walking endlessly, having no idea where you were going. Quietly you sit down by a tree, remove your Mary Janes and sob to yourself. You wonder how your grandmother was doing. You were so tired and she must be so worried. She knew you were coming and was probably fearing you.

It was rumored that there had been wolves roaming the forest. That was years ago, but she couldn't help but overthink and every time she came over she would always tell you to beware. You hear some noise from the bushes you jolt in fear. “Hello! Anyone out there?" You shout. A small fox jumps up and props itself onto your lap.

“Awe how cute” you say petting it lightly. You feel relaxed whilst petting it all your doubts go away. “You don't suppose you know how to go to my Granny’s house do you?” You ask half-jokingly. “Of course you don't..” You sigh and laugh at yourself for expecting an answer. You give the little fox a nudge, “Well I have to be there for her, she needs me!” You stand up, thinking about your grandmother's kindness lights up the motivation within and gives you the confidence to go and continue. Your foot aches, fatigues and worries all go away as you march on. The fox leaps into the bushes

Miraculously you find yourself in front of the small little cottage where your grandma lives. Shivering you ring the doorbell impatiently desperate to get inside. No response. You rang it again thinking maybe she didn't hear. No response again. Maybe she's asleep, you think to yourself. You reach for the doorknob expecting the door to be locked, just to fall through! Quickly you walk in, closing the door behind you.

“Well that's odd she would always have her door locked…” you mutter as you walk into the kitchen. “Grandma!” you shout out, searching the abandoned house.

The kitchen, living room, dining room, and bathroom. You've searched all those places and still no sight of her! You head upstairs still shouting out her name, receiving no response. ‘Of course she’d be in her bedroom resting if she was sick stupid!’ you think to yourself. You make your way into the hallway with nothing but the clicks and clacks of your Mary Janes filling up the empty noise. Slightly, you knock on her door

“Grandma?” you ask quietly. No response. “Granny, I'm here” you say slightly louder. 'Hmm, she wouldn't be mad if I went in, right?” You open up the door.

You found her lying comfortably in bed, wide awake. "Grandma...why didn't you answer me?” You ask.

“Sorry dear, I couldn't hear you well. Why don't you come closer so I can hear you better?" you hear an unfamiliar voice coming from her.

“Wow grandma, your cold must be awful. Your voice sounds so different.” You walk closer, finally getting a good look at her condition. “My, what big eyes you have, grandma.” You say observing her.

“All the better to see you with my dear.” Responded the ‘grandma’

“What big ears you have, Grandma? You touch the ears gently in awe

“All the better to hear from you sweetie”

“Oh and what big teeth you have…” You say getting closer to your ‘grandma’ now you were on the edge of the bed

A smirk displays on the face of the mysterious figure in place of your grandmother.

“W-what d-did you do t-to her?” You screamed out in fear. What is this thing? And where was your grandma?!?

“I don't think you'd be that dumb, how come you've just now realized?” The voice spits out. You couldn't even move. You were paralyzed with fear. Frozen in shock. What is a wolf doing here instead of you grandma?!? “Oh relax sunshine” He says caressing your face gently, you slap his long wolf fingernails away.

“Oh right…give me a minute okay?” He gets up and all within a minute he transforms into this tall pale man. White hair replaces the brown fur, the nails shrink, and the yellow eyes turn into a blue sharp gaze. He turns around, and you see his beautiful crisp abs gleaming in the moonlight. You were absolutely mesmerized by the way his chest was carved so perfectly. You keep staring going further and further down until you see his dick?!?! Does this man not have any decency?!!

“My eyes are up here sweet cheeks” He laughed.

“W-what is h-happening??!” You cry out, shutting your eyes immediately. “Weren't you just a beast two minutes ago??”

“You have a lot to learn sweetheart” The man chuckles.

“"What happened to my grandma?” You ask, feeling a little bit more confident now.

Slowly, he points towards his belly. Your eyes grow wide at the sudden realization. “You monster, how could you eat her!?”

“Woah not eat,” He says almost as if you offended him “I'm not interested in fossils, she was in the way so I just got rid of her” he shrugs as if it's nothing.

You were gonna puke, did he just say ‘got rid of' as in she's dead?? He killed her? Tears were flowing down your face, you were shaking in fear at the thought of your poor innocent grandmother, minding her own business doing her own thing so fragile and powerless. A victim.

“Don't worry, it was no struggle at all” he says in a weird reassuring manner “It was almost like she accepted it”

You gulped, “B-but why would you do that?” You were a mess. Tears pouring down your face, snot teasing to leave your nostrils, and your head was aching.

“Because I wanted to meet you sweet cheeks” He says almost romantically. Your heart flutters a bit. But you shake it off due to the fact that he killed your granny..

“Me? Why me..?” You ask

“I had my eye on you for a while, and i've been meaning to know how you taste” He answers licking his lips at the sight of you trembling with fear. Slowly he walks towards the bed where have been still the whole time, you reel back trying to get away from him. He lunges at you and pins you down by your fists. Your heart races at inhuman speed with his face just inches away from yours. He smirks at your flustered appearance, your lips quivering, your eyes wide but shaking with disdain.

“What's wrong dear?” He whispered in your ear. Restrained underneath him you didn't move. All you could do was stare into his beautiful azure gaze.

“Are you scared?” He teases, a smile sneaking up on his face. For some reason even knowing what he's done to your grandmother and what kind of person he is you couldn't help but melt under his embrace.

Suddenly he leans in, reaching for a kiss and you reflexively open your mouth for him to enter. He swishes his tongue in your mouth diving for more. You do the same crisscrossing his tongue. He retracts back leaving a trail of saliva.

You shake your head trying to get your act together. There was no way you willingly made out with your grandmother's assailant. You couldn't believe yourself. “You're so cute,” he says, rubbing his fingertips against your bottom lip. Smoothly he injects his pointer and middle finger into your mouth gathering salvia.

“Don't worry I'm gonna take care of you” He sneers. He lifts up your dress revealing your pinky lace bra. You try to push down your dress but he still has you restrained with only one hand. You had nowhere to look but up, but you couldn't complain about the view. God he was so sexy. The way the moonlight reflected on his abs was a sight that no artist could replicate.

Hastily he tears away your bra and immediately indulges into your breasts. Your brown nipples perking up from the draft of the room. His warm tongue makes contact with your nipples and your back arches almost instantly.

“You are super sensitive,...is this your first time?” He asks, temporarily leaving your nipple. You nod your head, embarrassment flooding your body but only for a short time as he twists your nipple causing you to yelp.

‘Mmm’ you whine as he continues to suck on your nipples. It felt so good. It was like he had been doing this for centuries.

“You like it when I do that right?" He grins, trailing down your torso marking your body with soft pecks everywhere. Until he reaches your frilly underwear, and in minutes it's in shreds. He tore it up like a goddamn beast, well he is one.

“What is wrong with you?” You mutter but he doesn't answer instead he admires your pretty little cunt that was leaking down from its folds. “So wet for me already” he sneers, using his middle and pointer fingers to enter the slimy mess.

‘Hhu’ you hitch from the feeling of the cool fingers entering your cunt. It hurts but it also feels so good.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he says. He is surprisingly nice for someone who has just murdered your grandma. He picks up the pace going faster and faster. The pain and pleasure mix well within you as you feel a small pool of heat forming within your abdomen area.

‘Hah, g-go faster please’ you moan. Obeying you he picks up the pace curling his two fingers into your cervix. Your legs jitter outward, opening wide just in time for you to come all over his fingers. Your legs give out dropping down, you're out breath sweating. You couldn't believe you just came on the fingers of your grandmother's murderer. You were such a bad granddaughter but you really couldn't blame yourself. It felt incredible. You have never felt that great after fingering yourself no matter how many fingers you'd use. Now he comes in and makes you come instantly

He slowly retracts his fingers, and sucks them. “You taste even better than I had imagined” he remarks. Swiftly he picks you up and adjusts himself so now that both you guys are on the bed. His dick wags around while doing so. “Okay baby I’m gonna put it in, are you okay with that?” You nod in response, still very much tired from your last orgasm. Gently he lifts up your legs, sensually he bites your thighs leaving marks all over them. The sight you were witnessing was incredible, his gorgeous platinum hair all messy and his pale face caressing your legs oh so softly.

‘Ah’ you squeal at the sudden contact with his throbbing cock wiping your cunt.

“It's s-so large” You mutter in awe, this was probably your first time seeing a dick in person but you do know that the size of his was not normal. You wince at him grazing his tip along your puss folds.

“You like that baby?” He grins at your reaction

“M-mhh, b-but its n-not gonna fit” you whimper out

“Don't worry mama it'll fit, I'll be gentle.” He reassures you by wiping away the tears drifting off your cheeks. Gently he angles his cock to align perfectly with your sopping wet hole.

‘Ah’ you moan, it was so painful and you felt like he was gonna stretch out your poor pussy just by entering the tip. Your legs latch onto his back begging for support and you felt like you were gonna get split in half as he kept on inching closer and closer. Then you feel something tear and you can hear the man laughing above.

“"I'm gonna go deeper okay?” He tells you, inching forward into your warm tight pussy. Wrapping him up like a present, he feels your walls enclosing him making his dick twitch inside. Your back cranks up. The way his dick slides in and out perfectly and him thrusting vigorously was enough to send you over the edge. He kept going and going as he drove into you with such force that you were sure that your grandmother's bed was going to collapse. Softly, he resumes back on your breast licking and twisting your nipples sending you overboard.

“"Hah you're so sexy” he said with drool spilling out his mouth from slathering your poor nipples. He was mesmerized by the way your boobs were moving along with each thrust. And your gorgeous face, even with pools of tears, mascara bleeding down you still looked Amazing. “I'm gonna make you all mine” He grins in a senile manner just before bending down biting everywhere on your body. Making patterns with teeth marks all over your torso.

“D-don't do that '' You barely were able to mutter out, your brain went straight to mush. You couldn't even process a single thought let alone speak. But it felt so good. You were wondering why you hadn't done it sooner. He was so fine with the sweat trickling down each path of his abs, his hair all messy, and him biting his lips you couldn't even describe the scene before you. Well not anymore, because you felt a flood gushing down your cunt flooding his dick. ‘Mmph’ you cry out. It was like all your senses went down with your orgasm, you used your legs to bring him in closer to you, you wanted to feel all full. Full of his dick and full of his cum.

You rest your head back, breathing heavily and your stomach rises up and down. Out of nowhere he grabs you, placing him on top of his dick. So now you are on his lap facing him, chest to chest. “You don't get to finish until I cum, sweet cheeks.” He laughed. Holding you up by your waist, he slams you up and down on his cock.

‘Hahha’ your poor self couldn't even form thoughts from the sudden movement. He had you bouncing up and down with no means to stop. He had suffocated himself with your tiddies. You can feel his tongue gliding across them.

“Gojo” he whispers out

“W-what” you were a stuttering mess

“My name. Say it .”

You had no clue why he was so adamant about you addressing him by his name. But you were in no room to disobey. ‘Mmph, g-gojo it feels too good hah’ You whined out not even realizing the state Gojo was in. You felt his dick go crazy against your walls, and his pattern started to go a little off rhythm. “Im gonna cum in you, make you all mine” he whispers against your chest. You didn't have a chance to register what he had said before he shoots his load deep into you. You couldn't help but cry out.

“I need you so bad” he breathes out, biting onto your shoulder. His warm load still lodged in your pussy threatening to leak out but plugged by Gojo's cock. It felt so good to be filled up. The feeling of being full makes you drool even more.

Surprisingly he still had the energy to keep on going. Switching positions, you guys were now lying down side by side with Gojo still balls deep inside of you. He adjusted your head so you were now looking at him. Your mouths making contact as Gojo’s cool finger tips fondled your breasts. (Gojo is a titty person) You gasp into his mouth leading him to inject his tongue in between your lips. Your body was contorted in such a weird manner, but it didn't matter. All your pain had disappeared as soon as Gojo proceeded with pushing himself into it.

He couldn't get enough. You felt so good around him. It was like your cunt was carved for his dick and his dick only. Slowly he rocks into you with his cum still in you. You whimper, your pussy was still super sensitive from the last time but still you folded immediately. Gojo gradually picks up speed, while you can hear his balls smacking your ass continuously in a pattern. You were overloaded from every side. You didn't know how he could multitask so well and make you feel complete in every aspect but you couldn't help but moan out screaming. You can feel him smiling from your shoulder. He takes a large bite from it causing you to scream out in both pain and pleasure

That same familiar feeling arises again within your tummy. Gojo drags your hand and places it on your abdomen. “You feel that" he whispers, “That's me inside of you baby” he licks your ear, and bites it.

You couldn't hold it anymore “I'm c-cummin’ you manage out.

“Cum on me baby” Gojo says seductively. And with that like it was on command you creamed out all over him causing a gooey mess all over the sheets.

Air was all that was filling up the room, the sounds of you guys both panting in sync. You were exhausted. You had lost all the feeling in your legs, you couldn't process anything, and you were so tired that you couldn't even move any of your limbs.

“I'm gonna take care of everything else alright, so just relax” He mutters, crawling down from his position just to re-enter his previous one. Inserting his dick right back into you grunting and rutting against your cunt. He thrusts at a much more irregular pace eager to eject.

“Shit ma, you're so tight, relax." He growls, stretching out your legs and biting them all over. His pace grows more and more jagged. He finally releases out into you causing you to jolt from the sensation.

Both of you guys were depleted of all energy. Gojo, exhausted, lands himself upon you.

You wake up just to find yourself spooned within Gojo's chest, the man is knocked out. You laughed at the sheer insanity of the situation. You couldn't believe you lost your virginity to the same being that killed your Grandma…

You graze your fingers along his smooth jawline thinking to yourself that it wasn't as bad as you thought. And with that you went back to sleep.

#kristlewrites🫧🗯️#black writer #black reader #blk!fem #jjk #jjk smut #jjk x black reader #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x black reader #gojo smut #gojo saturo x reader #gojo saturo x you #gojo saturo x black reader #jjk fanfic #gojo fanfic #jjk fanfiction #gojo fanfiction

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wynnyfryd · 5 months

Text

trailer park AU schedule update

well first of all:

holy shit we made it!!! can’t believe November’s over already

secondly, i want to thank everyone who has read along up to this point. this story started as a 500 word drabble, and now it’s the longest fic i’ve ever written. like, i published over 30,000 words in just over a month thanks to y’all, when i’ve previously never managed to write more than 12k of a story without losing interest. that’s wild!! not to be a sappy little bisexual about it, but your constant encouragement and enthusiasm have been unbelievably motivating, and i’ve had so much fun reading all of your comments and theories along the way, and i love you very much and your hair looks really pretty.

thirdly, this fic isn’t going anywhere! i’m just as invested as y’all at this point lol. updates will slow down a bit going forward because writing publishable content 5-7 days a week is an absurd pace that i never intended to continue beyond november, but i plan to keep writing until the story’s done. expect updates to be more like 3-4 times/week from here on out.

if you still want to follow along in real time, you can:

turn on blog notifications for me

follow the tag #trailer park steve au

join the tag list (if you’re over 21)

and if you prefer to read along as chapters come out, you can subscribe to the story on ao3

thank you all again 🩷 this has been the best not-really-nanowrimo of my whole life, and i’ve been doing this event since i was 16. kissing u real gently on the forehead etc.

#trailer park steve au #can’t believe i’m being sincere on main. disgorsting.#love y’all

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herarcadewasteland · 6 months

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Spin, Dare, Hide.

A/N: The full first chapter of SDH! I'm back to being motivated so you get the full chapter after so long lmao

-18+, slight violence, swearing, jisung is a little shit, ateez kinda yandere towards the end

-ateez x reader, mentions of skz because Han Jisung is your bff

1 of 2 (We'll see how much more I write from today onwards)

this is TWELVE of 14 pages i have written lol... not edited or re-read

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Spin the bottle, hide and seek and truth or dare. Three separate games Jisung had decided to combine for a game he called SDH. Spin, dare, hide. The way it worked was a little too complicated for your liking, your head going blank as you listened to him explain it eight times over. You spin the bottle, the person it landed on is the seeker. You must do a dare they ask you and then you hide. You get a minute to hide. After that minute is done, your seeker has a time limit of 3 minutes to find you. If they find you, they do what they want with you. If you aren’t found, your past seeker spins the bottle and whoever it lands on swaps out and becomes the seeker. The game continues like this until either one person has not been found by anyone or the hider is found and “dealt with”, as Jisung phrased it. The only limit to the game was the extent of pain you could put a person through with your dare. You couldn’t ask your daree to hurt themselves or anyone else in an extreme fashion. The most you could ask would be a spank or a small slap on the face, even a slap on the wrist, forehead flicks included. That limit extended to the “do whatever you want to them” prize for finding the hider. The only pain you could inflict was determined before the actions were taken and done safely with consent.

It was something you had played with Jisung, Chan and Hyunjin before, but sitting on the floor, listening to Jisung explain it all to Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, San, Mingi, Wooyoung and Jongho, you wanted to be anywhere else but there. The confusion on their faces was visible, Jisung cackling as he explained the pain limits set in place. Feeling a gaze on you that you knew wasn’t Jisungs, as he was busy staring down Yeosang who had a small blush covering his face, you turned to look around. Looking past them all, you landed on Wooyoung. His gaze was… intense. He was always the flirty one but the look in his eyes was determined. Almost like he was taking the challenge of the game personally. When you met his eyes though, they cleared and he smiled at you brightly, a small one tugging at your lips in response until Jisung smacked you on the shoulder.

He was still rambling about the game and you vaguely heard a question directed at you, just nodding along as you got lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t until you heard someone choking on their drink and Jisung shouting at you in pride that you snapped back into reality and looked around the group in confusion. The reactions were different, but each man now had a darker look behind their kind eyes. Mingi had been the one to choke, his face beet red as he smacked his chest. Wooyoung sported a massive smirk, looking eerily close to the joker smile. Hongjoong was watching you look at them with curiosity and the others were all just slightly red in the face. San was the only one you could really tell what he was thinking. His lips parted as his breathing picked up, his legs crossed and he stared at you with darkened, hooded eyes. It was clear he was imagining what he could do to you if he found you but a sharp nudge from Seonghwa on his side made him sit up, his previous state gone entirely as you watched him with wide eyes.

Jisung caught your attention again, his eyes as wide as yours as you looked at him with so much visible confusion.

“What?”

“Did you even hear me?”

“Oh.. no… Was I supposed to? You were explaining the game. I know how it works.”, you raised an eyebrow at Jisung.

He only answered with a laugh, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as he continued to explain the little details of the game he created. He gave you no indication of just what you had agreed to when you were zoned out, his attitude more cocky than usual as he held you to him tightly. You huffed in annoyance and confusion as you sat, waiting for the explanation to be over. It took Jisung about three more minutes to finish explaining everything, questions answered and players ready.

“Okay, someone grab a bottle! It’s time to play~”, Jisung cackled and rocked with you in his hold, your eyes rolling at his maniac-esk tendencies.

“What did I agree to? I think it’s against the rules for me not to know.”

“Wrong! I made the rules, so for you, sweetpea, it’s not gonna harm you.”, Jisung planted a loud kiss on your cheek and you grunted, shoving him away to sit on the floor in front of him.

Yunho came back into the room with a bright smile and a half empty bottle of vodka in hand, followed by Yeosang who carried a bowl of snacks to the couch to share around. You accepted gratefully, munching on a small handful as everyone got settled in a circle, Jisung excluded. You called him a traitor as the last two settled down fully, the back of your head being smacked.

“Okay, now. Let’s start with a simple round of Truth or Drink. Don’t answer the truth and someone knows you’re lying, you drink. You get away with a lie and that’s that. Got it? Good. Jongho!”, Jisung pointed at Jongho as he shouted his name, the change in volume making you jump slightly against his legs, to which he laughed.

A simple hum answered him, Jongho leaning forward in his seat as Jisung copied him. His eyes darted down to you briefly before Jisung hummed obnoxiously loud, his eyes trailing back up to meet Jisung’s.

“Do you know who has the biggest dick?”

“Yeah.”, Jongho scoffed and turned his gaze to Seonghwa, “Hyung, did you eat my lunch yesterday?”

Seonghwa had the decency to look ashamed, his ears flushing red as he covered his mouth with his hand. He simply nodded and sat up straighter, staring daggers at Wooyoung who cowered away slightly.

“Did you take my Star Wars Lego and re-gift it to me during the holidays?”

Wooyoung choked on air, his eyes widening in fear as Seonghwa stood from his spot, rage seeping from him as he made his way to the frantically mumbling Wooyoung. Hongjoong stopped them quickly but when Wooyoung muttered a small ‘yes’ before he booked it outside, Hongjoong had no hope against the force of angry Seonghwa as he barrelled after the culprit.

You sat in your spot, lips pressed together to stop the laughter from spilling through as Jisung cackled at your back, San looked unbothered, almost like he knew about the occurrences. The others looked slightly concerned for Wooyoung as scared screams from Wooyoung echoed as Seonghwa shouted profanities at him. Snacks were passed around as the chase continued outside and was soon forgotten as you ate, conversation flowing naturally until Seonghwa burst through the door with Wooyoung, a harsh grip on his ear as he dropped him where he was sitting previously. He retook his own seat, San patting his thigh comfortingly as Seonghwa huffed in anger. You let out a small giggle, the despair in his actions pulling it from you before you could stop it. The glare was turned to you quickly and you muttered apologies and bowed your head to him repeatedly, his glare leaving his eyes soon after as he calmed down fully.

“Oh Jisung~”, Wooyoung called out to your friend, “Have you kissed Y/n?”

Gasps filled the room and your jaw dropped, staring at the cocky look on Wooyoung’s face as he sipped his drink. Jisung hummed and ran his hand over your hair, your head shaking in response to the question before he grabbed the sides of it to stop you.

“No, but I can.”, he emphasized his point by planting a kiss on the top of your head, your jaw snapping shut as you punched Jisungs legs where you could reach.

“OK, since I asked someone already, San. Would you kiss one of the people beside you?”

You watched as his head turned to either side, glancing over his friends before he nodded, “Yeah. Probably would.”

A few cries of shock followed his answer, the two to his sides blushing red as they stared at the carpet below them. You smacked Jisung’s leg again, hand reaching for the snacks as the questions were passed between the rest of the boys. Soon enough, after a few angry chases through the backyard and a few insults here and there, your name was being called by Yeosang. You met his eyes easily, head tilted in question as you swallowed the mouthful of Doritos you had been crunching.

“Would you make out with anyone in the room…minus Jisung?”, his eyes were curious as he held your gaze but you could feel the weight of the others’ darkened eyes on your frame as you thought for a moment.

With your eyes steadily on Yeosang, you licked your lips slowly, still thinking before you no longer had to, Yeosangs answering lip lick solidifying what you were, in all honesty, pretending to think about.

“Yes. In a heartbeat.”, your face lit up with a blush as they groaned, some shifting in their spots as others hid behind their hands to save face in front of you.

“So why don’t you?”

“What?”, your head snapped to Jisung, a smirk playing at his lips as he watched the panic course through you.

“Make out with one of them. I dare you.”

“This isn’t the game, Jisung.”

“Good thing a preliminary game of spin the bottle is next then huh?”

You groaned and smacked him, running your clammy hands over your face as you huffed out a breath of pure tension, “I think we get that you smashed together some games and forced us to play it for your pleasure.”

A few laughs greeted your ears, Jisung’s angry huff reaching you between the laughs before you had a smack landed on the top of your head. You groaned a little and rubbed your head, glaring up at Jisung from your spot.

“Unnecessary!”

“Shut up. Fine, we’ll just start the game. Since our dear Y/n decided to ruin our pre-game, she’ll spin first!~”, Jisung pushed you forwards slightly, your hands catching you as you fell forward.

You sat upright with a huff and shook your head, reaching for the bottle that Yunho still held. The level of vodka in it had dropped and you raised an eyebrow, his sheepish smile answering all your questions. You let it go and set the bottle in the middle of your circle, sitting on your knees at arm’s length away from it, you grasped the body and spun it. Watching it spin, your heart rate picked up, the bottle slowly coming to a stop as you stared at it. You didn’t want to look away from it, if it had landed on him, you knew you would be found and there was no telling just what would happen.

You felt all their gazes on you as you stared holes into the bottle, the neck pointing somewhere to your front right. A throat clearing made your shoulders jump, your eyes flicking away from the bottle in the general direction of Jisung behind you with a glare. You took a deep breath, staring at the bottle still. Exhaling sharply as you glanced up to meet your seeker’s eyes, you froze. You were fearing being seeked out by Wooyoung but seeing Hongjoong staring you down, head tilted down slightly and to the side as he smirked, his tongue peeking out between his teeth as he watched you, you knew you had been afraid of the wrong person.

Red rushed over your face, a sympathizing chuckle coming from someone to your left and as you glanced over quickly, you were surprised to see Yeosang smirking at you in a similar way. The blush heated your face quicker, your cheeks burning as you glanced back at Hongjoong, who had shifted to kneel in his spot between Mingi and Jongho. You met his dark eyes, his head tilting further in silence as he picked up on your spike of fear.

“The captain first. How fitting! Now, you have to give her a dare! She can’t say no.”, Jisung interrupted your staring contest, your fear dying in your chest slowly as the look faded from Hongjoong’s face.

A bright smile pulled at the captain's lips as he watched you closely, his hands clasping together on his thighs as everyone sat in nervous silence.

“I dare you…”, Hongjoong met your apprehensive gaze as his darkened once more, Jisung at your back oblivious to the look as he flirted with San, “I dare you to go the rest of the night without your shirt on.”

Cat calls echoed around your head, your eyes widening as you held his gaze once more, his smile dropping into a smirk in a split second as you shook your head.

“That’s unreasonable. I’m not-”, your denial was cut off by the sound of fabric ripping, your eyes darting down at the sudden chill on your torso only to see your shirt in two halves hanging around your hips.

You gasped in shock, one of your favourite shirts ripped so easily but as you looked to the side to see Jongho and Yeosang with similarly hovering hands, you saw red.

“What the fuck?! I get this is a game to you all but I take destroying my possessions very seriously! So if one of you wants to stop and fucking think about how much I enjoy my possessions, that would be great!”

You were fuming. Your fists clenching as your chest heaved, eyes squeezed shut in anger while you tried to keep the tears away. Silence followed your outburst, gazes set on your form as Jisung rubbed your bare shoulders.

“Well? Is anyone gonna say something? Anything to let me know that you aren’t complete assholes?!”

The continued silence made you huff, your eyes snapping open only to make eye contact with Seonghwa who was now kneeling in front of you, eyes darker than the night sky and swirling with an emotion you couldn’t quite place as his hand shot out to grip your chin between two long fingers.

“I’d watch how you talk to us if you want to make it out later.”, his voice was deeper than you had ever heard it, rivaling Mingi’s as he leaned forward to whisper darkly in your ear, “You won’t be walking out of this house normally anyways, don’t make it worse for yourself, pet.”

He pulled away abruptly, his harsh grip leaving your face as it heated rapidly, his eyes brightening as he took his previous spot. All eyes were on you as you inhaled shakily, your eyes clearing of the anger that was previously swirling in them and instead fogging over in a headspace you never thought Park Seonghwa would be able to induce, even if just slightly as he promised you your demise.

Jisung cleared his throat sharply, smacking his hands down on your shoulders. You jumped in your spot at the touch, your mind miles away from the current situation until that moment as Jisung began rambling off the rules again.

“One minute to hide, as soon as you leave the room, Y/N, it’ll start. Hongjoong you have three to find her. You fail, you spin and swap out. Then it starts over until we either run out of men or our dear hider is found.”, Jisung made eye contact with everyone in the room, making sure they nodded before he slapped you over the head, “Get a move on! We only have so much time.”

You nodded slowly, avoiding the eyes of everyone as you stepped to the edge of the living room, your legs hesitating mid-step as you glanced back at Jisung for reassurance. Seeing his answering nod at your gaze, you sighed lowly and booked it from the room, your steps echoing as you clambered away from the heavy energy. Jisung’s shout for the timer starting had your heart quickening as you looked into every room you could, eyes searching for that perfect spot you knew no one would look in.

You even considered the trash can in the kitchen before you heard low laughs coming from the room across from it, looking up to see San watching you. The darkness in his eyes had you sprinting from any room even remotely close to the living room, your hands shaking as you considered just jumping in the shower or the linen closet and praying that whatever Hongjoong had planned for you was innocent and painless.

You figured that closets, under beds, in the shower or behind curtains would be searched first, followed by behind chairs in corners or large piles of blankets or clothes, your mind racing with thoughts on how you could possibly hide in a way that would ensure you would be free to win the game and have the boys fight it out as they hid amongst themselves. Jisung shouted ‘20 seconds’ into the house, the slight murmur from the group dying down slightly as you froze, head turning around the room frantically.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. Hide goddamnit!”, you scolded yourself, scanning every last corner of the room before you came up with a plan.

Grabbing pants from the closet, you stuffed them haphazardly with pillows, standing them on shoes behind the curtains before closing them to create a space of darkness, Jisung starting a countdown from 15 seconds as you frantically stuffed another pair of pants to hold with you for your plan.

“3!”

Your hands shook as you closed the door to the room, body pressed against the wall as tightly as possible to minimize the obvious gap when it opened.

“2!”

You held the pants and shoes in one arm, tucked against your chest as you covered your mouth with the waistband.

“1!”

You heard shuffling from downstairs, your eyes closing as you tried to control your breathing.

“Ready or not, here I come~”, Hongjoong’s voice carried up the stairs as he climbed them steadily, “I’ll find you sooner or later, bunny. You can hide, but you can’t run.”

The sharp edge to his words made you clam up, your hands slipping slightly and causing your elbow to knock against the door lightly. You gasped as quietly as you could, free hand clamping down harshly on your mouth as a shadow filled the doorway, the hallway light only silhouetting his figure as he opened the door. He swung it open slowly, his hand splayed on the wood as you waited for it to collide with your body. The hit was far from obvious as he left it to rest just centimeters from your body, his eyes narrowed and predatory as you shook slightly.

The curtain rings did you a favor, sliding slightly to adjust to the positioning and drawing his attention from the other side of the room. His smirk grew noticeably in the darkness of the room, the hallway lights seeming to glint off his canine as he stalked towards the curtains, his eyes trained down on the set of shoes just barely peeking from behind them.

“Oh little bunny. You could’ve at least tried to get away~”, his smug look was wiped from his face as he violently pulled open the curtains, the noise allowing you to slip out of the room as Jisung shouted ‘2 minutes left’.

The door creaked slightly as you snuck out of your spot, Hongjoong freezing as you booked it. A cruel laugh filled the air moments later as the sound of a door slamming shut took over the house. Shivers went down everyone's spines at the following laughter, his words making you stumble as you ran into the library room that was really just a desk and a few bookshelves.

“If I find you, little bunny, you’ll wish you never ran. I’ll make sure of it. You’ll make such a pretty bunny for us, covered in our marks and drenched in our cum.”

He made no indication that he heard the door to the room squeaking but as you slid between the shelves on the wall of the door, your stuffed pants casting a shadow under the desk for him to see as he swung the door open fully, a mocking click of his tongue following, you knew he had heard it.

“Oh bunny. You should’ve been quieter. Maybe then you would have had it easier.”, he stood still in front of the desk, his shoulders lifting with his heavy breaths as he stared down the top of it, “But poor bunny thinks we’re dumb-”

“Hey Captain! 10 seconds!”, Jisung shouted up the stairs.

“Your tricks may have worked, but whoever is next will not be as accepting of your tricks.”

“Game!”, Jisungs shout startled you slightly, Hongjoong leaving the room before he paused.

“Your little games will get you hurt, bunny. I’d be careful.”, he growled his words at you, fingers tapping against the bookshelf you were squished between as he left the room.

You sighed in relief, slipping from your spot to breathe properly for a minute as you gathered your decoy, going back to gather your other one as Jisung shouted up to you that you have some extra time as the bottle spun. Your hands steadied quite quickly with the news, your hands working double time to stuff some more pillows into pants, placing one behind the curtains again, another in the shower, replacing the one under the desk and shoving one under a bed. All that was left was you, Jisung’s call of your official time starting putting the shake back in your hands.

You had one minute to hide again, your decoys calming your mind slightly until you ended up in front of the locked door at the very end of the hall. The red light that was usually on in the room was absent for now as you stared at it, a call of 30 seconds shaking your mind as you turned away from it, stumbling into the closest room you could reach.

You looked around frantically, eyes finding the doors that led to a small balcony quickly. You huffed but gave in, opening the doors with a huff. You could hide behind chairs, the giant potted plant or you could stand on the edge and pray no one walked out. SIghing heavily, you pressed yourself against the wall beside a large plant right by the doors. A faint shout of Jisung’s voice told you that the new seeker was out and searching for you. Opening doors slowly sounded less muffled as he approached the room you were in, his voice muffled while he searched for you. The door to the room opened slower than the rest of the doors, the slow squeak of the hinges making you cringe as you pressed yourself against the cold wall.

“I see you know what you’re doing. I don’t appreciate these little games you think you can get away with, doll. When we find you, you will regret it. Mark my words. If I don’t ensure it, then I know for a fact that the others will when they find out your little mind games. Jisung forbade us from telling the others what happens on our hunts…”, a door slammed open, “So you’re safe with your little decoys until someone doesn’t fall for them.”

The growl his voice took on was bone-chilling, the anger and anticipation behind it making you shiver more violently than the cold breeze had been, your entire body tensing as the patio doors opened one by one.

“You’re lucky my time just ended, doll. A shame we don’t get to play just yet… I’ll have my chance with you and by god will you regret everything.”, his head poked through the doors, making eye contact with you immediately and you whimpered.

The smirk on his face was nothing less than cruel as he watched you shiver, your eyes wide as he watched you until you gasped, fully registering your situation. You shook your head, hands waving in front you as you stepped back slightly.

“J-Jongho no, t-the time ended!”, your voice trembled as he watched you panic, an easy smile replacing his smirk.

“I’m aware, doll. It’s best you come inside for now if you keep planning to hide out here. You’ll get sick.”, he tugged you inside, his large hand warm against your smaller one as the warm air of the house washed over you.

“Thank you…”, you murmured as Jisung shouted for Jongho again, his heat disappearing back downstairs to spin the bottle as you warmed up slowly.

The minute it took for the bottle to land and Jisung to shout up to you felt like ages, your last decoy being replaced under blankets on a bed. Your brain was short-circuiting. You had no idea who was next, it could be Wooyoung, it could be Seonghwa or it could be Yeosang. Either way, you were terrified of those three for the moment as you slotted yourself under the bed the decoy was on. It was a dumb spot and you would be lying your ass off if you said you couldn’t hear past your own heartbeat for a few seconds as footsteps trailed up the stairs, oddly heavy for any of the boys.

The sound of two doors swinging open at once sent alarm bells off in your head again as you picked up on two separate footstep patterns entering rooms opposite your hiding place. You had closed the door to be extra safe, leaving the door to the room of your last hiding place open just to throw them off. Regret filled your panicked being as you watched four shadows extend from under the door to the room you were in.

Of course they sent up two and of course Jisung allowed it. Why wouldn’t he? He was always rooting for your failure in a best friend way, just as he was always trying to get you laid. Maybe that was his plan with this godforsaken game, you thought. The door opened slowly with an extended creek sending shivers down your spine as you indirectly met Wooyoung's dark gaze from under the bed, San’s sharp eyes scanning the room slowly, gaze just as filled with a promise of danger.

Watching San’s arm lift to point subtly at the decoy on the bed, you let out the smallest whimper you could, hands clasped over your mouth and nose to hide your heavy breathing as they approached opposite sides of the beds.

“Oh princess. You could have hid so much better!”, San’s voice was overly cheerful as you watched his foot tap in eight counts.

“Unless our little baby just couldn’t wait to be found~”, Wooyoung's voice matched San’s cheerful tone as he added to the teasing.

The swoosh of blankets covered the noises of shock they no doubt made, the muted thump made your heart race, knowing they wouldn’t leave the blankets on the floor to sweep up the dust of the day. The veined hands gripping the pile confirmed your thoughts, a slight peek of hair nearly exposing your spot as they bent to pull the covers over the decoy. They whispered to each other, the annoyance hidden in their tones now present as they scanned the room once more before they left with heavy steps.

Their posture screamed disappointment but being under the bed stopped you from seeing the small smirk shared between them as Jisung called time moments after your door closed. The silence and heat building in the room suffocated you slowly, your hands fumbling with the door until you were able to breathe in different air, your mind racing at the possibilities of them sending up another group of two, maybe even a group of three if Jisung was feeling like causing more chaos.

The troublemakers next call of your time had you rushing into the bathroom, hands fumbling with the decoy to chuck it outside, no longer caring if it led whoever was next straight to you. You were flustered, scared and becoming increasingly panicked at what the others were planning as they sent away each seeker. A heavy set of footsteps trailed slowly up the stairs, your mind jumping Yunho as the stairs creaked under the weight of whoever was ascending. They had to be larger than Hongjoong or Yeosang, their stature a little too small for you to believe it was one of them making their way up

. Your thoughts came to a sudden stop as you heard a mumble, his deep voice chilling you to the bone as you realized it was probably Mingi who was now searching for you. You weren’t afraid of Mingi for the game, but he was observant when he needed to be and he needed to be, so you were concerned. Your hands trembled as you flattened yourself against the bottom of the tub, the showerhead staring you down threateningly as the sound of his footsteps got closer.

The panic clouding your brain hid the change in heaviness of the steps, the lighter tone of the voice responding to someone you could only pray was downstairs, but hearing no shout from Jisung at that moment, you just knew they had sent up an overly coordinated pair. That, or they walked so slowly up the stairs trying to match their steps that they lost all of their time, Jisung’s voice shouting ‘5 seconds’ confirming your running thoughts as 3 separate voices began complaining. You could recognize the tones of Mingi, Yunho and Yeosang. A shiver traversed your spine as you realized that Yeosang could have found you in that moment, their overly careful planning to walk up the stairs saving you for one last round. Saving you for Seonghwa.

Sitting up in the tub, you couldn’t help but think that maybe leaving you to Seonghwa last was on purpose. The feeling he gave you before, surrounded by the other boys in the circle only spelled danger and dominance. You were terrified of it. The sharp change in the way he acted towards you to how he acted on the regular like a Care Bear murdering a child. Unexpected and completely out of the usual character you were used to. Your mind raced at the hiding spots you could get away with, mentally checking off places you hid decoys or hid for the others until you reached the small office room in your pacing, Jisung’s delayed call of your start time only fueling your fear knowing that Seonghwa had probably asked for his call for your time to start later. Letting you sit in your panic, letting it build slowly for him to make it burst when he began his hunt.

HIs confidence was overwhelming from that one non-verbal cue to you and you knew he would find you, probably paid off Jisung to let the guys tell him where you were so he could narrow down your location. He was already in your head and Jisung had just called your start time, your hands shaking as you closed the office door slowly so the hinges wouldn’t creek as they did when Hongjoong had followed you into the room previously.

Your decoy sat under the desk still and you sighed, deciding to hide between the shelves on the far right side of the room, the desk nearly perfectly parallel to your small hiding spot. Hongjoong’s mocking call of ‘ready or not, here he comes’ did nothing to help your nerves, your hands sweating against the dark wood of the bookshelf in front of you, your ears straining for any sound of Seonghwa that you couldn’t find.

He was deadly silent climbing the stairs, no doors squeaked as they opened (if he opened them) and you were trembling as the door to the office slowly swung open. The large, veined hand on the wood was the only thing giving away his presence until he stepped into the room, eyes fixed on the desk with an intensity you never saw in his eyes. His lips curled at the shadow under the desk, his head tilting as his tongue poked out to run over his plush bottom lip.

“I appreciate your commitment to the decoy under the desk, pet. It’s clever. For dumb little girls who don’t know when to give themselves up.”

His voice was deep again, eyes never leaving the desk as he approached it, hands slamming down the surface. He hung his head slightly, his fluffy hair dropping to hide his eyes from your fearful gaze.

“I’ll give you a choice, pet. You come out of your own free will, walk downstairs with me in that pretty little bra and we go easy on you.”, he scoffed out a small laugh, his hands drawing your attention as he reached into his pocket, a small pocket knife glinting in his pretty hands, “Or~ You don’t. I pull you from that pathetic little hiding spot and drag you down those stairs where you get used by us until you can’t even lift a finger. Jisung was a good little boy…”

The silence made him hum, his hand flipping the knife open and closed over and over with a steady click. He laughed mockingly as the silence carried, your stubbornness amusing him as he tilted his head.

“He was too easy for San to seduce. All it took was a few touches on his thigh, some compliments and he was caving, telling us all your dirty little kinks. Yeah he gave us everything we needed to know. And then he left!”

His cruel laugh made you tear up. Of course Jisung caved to San’s false advances. The fucker probably took the car too, not even leaving you a text to explain how he fed you to the wolves. You were drawn from your angry thoughts towards Jisung by the rough scrape of the blade on the wooden surface of the desk.

“I’ll give you… one minute. You had a minute to hide for us. You get a minute to decide how good you want to be for us.”, He was standing up straight again, his fingers drumming the desk as he put the knife away.

The silence was only broken by his drumming and a slow, mocking countdown to your inevitable demise, his voice deep but airy as he counted to your end. Your heartbeat was rapid in your chest and you could swear if Seonghwa was silent for even a second, he’d hear it pounding against the wood of the bookshelf. Your thoughts overwhelmed your awareness of your actions, your breathing getting a little out of hand with your increasing heart rate as the countdown dropped to ‘5~’ and suddenly stopped.

By the time your mind caught up with the lack of counting and the heat of the darkened eyes suddenly on you, a harsh grip was on your hair, pulling you from your spot roughly. You hadn’t even seen him move, your legs buckling at the sudden motion, causing you to stumble into Seonghwa’s chest, his eyes beating down on the top of your head as you pushed away from him slightly to get some space for your racing thoughts to calm. You had no time to begin to calm yourself as his soft lips brushed your ear teasingly, his voice nothing but a growl as he whispered to you.

“Run for me now, pet. Let’s have some fun~”

Your mind ran blank as he nudged you towards the door, your feet carrying you faster out of the room, your panic leading you to the bathroom once more, closing the door with much more force than necessary. The coldness of the tub stole your breath as you laid down again, the reflection of the showerhead letting you see the door open slowly just as every other door had. The image was too distorted for closer objects, a slight blur showing you Seonghwa’s figure walking further into the room but not allowing you further sight on him. You closed your eyes, trying to calm your breathing and your heart to listen to his movements.

Hearing none, just a slight shuffle you were sure you made, you opened your eyes just in time to see his large hand twisting the cold water tap for the shower. You gasped at his hand, his dark eyes peeking around the curtain just as ice cold water poured down onto you from above, your eyes closing as you shrieked at the cold, hands raising to try and block some of the stream. They were soon tugged down though, a new face hovering above yours as you thrashed about in the tub, heart racing as you glanced up.

———

part 2

there’s just something about cruel seonghwa that gets me going istg

#herarcadewasteland #fem!reader #ateez au #ateez fanfiction #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fic #reader insert #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #mentions of skz #han jisung x reader #yandere ateez

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inthelittlewood · 1 year

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I'm confused by Grian's motivations. During the Q&A you mentioned the boogeyman being what caused him to disagree with the Watchers which, sure. But that would mean he was fine with trapping people (many of whom being his friends) in death games to harvest negative emotions in the first place which seems contradictory to past statements and brings into question why he was in Third Life at all? I'm trying to figure out if you misspoke or if that was the intended meaning

Sounds like I misspoke probably. This is why I continually answer asks and doing the post season lore streams to hash things out is a good thing, as I'm no kind of trained or practiced author. I have some big narrative beats to hit but aside from that it's as improv as the Life series is to an extent. I'd have to be giga brain to have written all of this just after 3rd Life ended lol

The way I see it currently is Grian was taken on as a Watcher from EVO and at that time, the feeding on emotions was a normal activity. An even spread of good and bad emotions were drawn from, not overly impactful to the player.

As time passed the other Watchers began feeding more on negative emotions and in vastly larger quantities which began to take a toll. Not only were they causing small fragmentation of people's souls but they were stripping away emotions in such a rapid fashion that players lost the opportunity to practice things like forgiveness, empathy and recovery. So they lost out mentally as well as soulfully (is that a word? ha)

Grian was in 3rd Life as a player after he'd decided to part from the Watchers that inducted him. They'd run a few deathmatches already (no idea how many) and it didn't sit well with him the directions things were steering.

His goal so far has been to lighten the mood of these games to 'sour' the feast for the Watchers who at this point, will only accept negative emotions and if at all possible, help liberate the players once and for all.

It's a similar goal to the Listeners, but not exact, so there's been zero communication between the two so far. I think both Grian and the Listeners see each other's meddling as beneficial to the other. They're each making small progress as opposed to a stalemate if they faced the Watchers head on.

Those cracks in the control and armour for The Watchers heightened this past season with the soul channeling of Cleo/Pearl and is why Grian's aura was disrupted and he ended up in a vacant state (during the afk episode)

Does that make sense?

I'll definitely contradict myself at times but it's why I do lore dumps publicly so people can fact check me. This is all just for fun, so keep prodding me y'all :)

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txtistheloml · 6 months

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spanking had been getting feral on me lately! imagine spanking with yeonjun and making you count to 10 ajhebrjdjdjsksks ><

dom jjunie has me salivating... n spanking with jjunie is just >//<

#############################################

jjunie + spanking

genre! - smut...? (implied ig ,, not written)

pairing! - yeonjun x gn!reader

wordcount! - 502

warnings! - spanking obvs😭, angst if u squint but not rly, teasing, degradation (whore), dom!yj n bratty sub!reader, dacryphilia (not mentioned that jjun enjoys seeing reader cry but reader does cry💀), lmk if i missed anyth!

a/n! - i kinda got carried away lol... i like this idea a tad bit too much :> i just had to make reader a brat bcs brat tamer jjunie... hehhee

maybe bringing you out for dinner with his friends wasn't the best idea. the way you were teasing him n getting a little to close to his friends for his liking was seriously pissing him off.

he had given you warnings, being generous with it too - starting from 5. by the time dinner was over you were already down to 2 lives. when they suggested to go karaoke for fun, yeonjun denied despite their protests n was dragging you by the wrist into the car.

the ride home was eerily silent - quite different compared to the typical upbeat atmosphere that was always set. you had set your mind on being a little bratty today - pissing yeonjun off to get what you wanted being your motive.

so obviously you continued your antics - placing your hand on his thigh, smoothing your hands over the fabric of his jeans until he spits out a "zero." with gritted teeth.

as soon as he closes the door to your apartment, he's shoving you into your room n telling you to strip. he definitely knew what you were up to, n he surely wasn't going to let you have your way.

yeonjun's strictness was indeed scaring you a little, since he usually let you have your way n babied you. sitting at the edge of the bed, he called you over n of course you obeyed - as far as you would go with your antics, you wouldn't dare to disobey him. seeing the way you were walking over to him so slowly n meekly, the moment you were in his arms' distance, he was yanking you over his lap, emitting a squeak from you as you land on your knees.

"chose to be such a brat huh? kept on riling me up infront of my friends, are you that much of a whore huh?"

"n-no! 'm not a whore!" you protest, only to be left with his scoffs, "not a whore? you're literally dripping even when i treat you like this. count to ten, starting from one. if you act a little more obedient maybe ill go easy on you later huh..."

before you get a chance to reply, the stinging of his palm on the flesh of your ass has you shrieking n moaning at the same time, tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill over any second.

"one.." you weakly mumble, afraid of being punished further.

"two! three u-umph!" n it goes on n on until you reach ten, n by then you are quite literally sobbing with tears running down your pretty little face n begging yeonjun to touch you but all he does is laugh pathetically at you.

"such a whore... you are a whore aren't you, getting so turned on by me spanking your ass huh?" snickering at your pitiful state as you nod your head repeatedly, the only thing on your mind is getting off.

"aww how cute... but whores don't get what they want baby~"

taglist! - @huckleberrykai (send an ask to be added n pls specify sfw or nsfw!)

feedback along with likes n reblogs r always appreciated!

#KINDA FELT SHIT IDK #sorry im in my flop era-#i tried :<#txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt x reader #txt fic #yeonjun smut #yeonjun hard thoughts #yeonjun hard hours #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun fic #evelyn answers #naomi <3 #evelyn’s works ⭐️

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chimkin-samich · 2 months

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Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

#mods speaketh #mod sly

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sureogi · 7 months

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（｀Δ´）！QUOTE MY HEART ( YEONJUN x READER )

SUMMARY. Back in his last year of middle school, Yeonjun was warned by the yearbook committee that he was the only graduate who hasn’t submitted a quote. So at the last minute, before submissions were closed, he quoted a song he was listening to. In his last year of high school, rumours about him start flying around—specifically about him dating someone who he has never heard of. It’s only until he realises that he was allegedly dating the school’s best news reporter of the broadcasting club, L/N Y/N, all because they accidentally matched quotes in middle school—which ruins his reputation as the school’s best swimmer. So what does Yeonjun do to redeem his title back? FIND OUT IN ‘QUOTE MY HEART’!

TL;DR. everyone thinks yeonjun is dating the school’s best reporter all because they matched quotes in middle school

GENRE. fluff, humour, strangers to enemies to lovers, social media au (lol this is my first time) yeonjun is apart of the swim team, y/n is apart of the broadcast media arts team ⋅ MAE’S MIND. i’ve always read smaus but i never had the idea of writing them until i saw how a lot of people like smaus more than written TT this will be my first and last smau cos i just wanted to experience writing one ^_^ i have an important note to mention: yes i know i said that i’ll have lots of time writing because this sem is boring but i haven’t had the motivation to continue writing/rewriting my works so i’ll be only posting/updating this smau until i have the motivation but i’ll still try to finish up some unfinished drabbles ^3^

TAGLIST IS OPEN !

PROFILES. 20th century tears ⋅ frown and drown

PAGE ONE. reply back

PAGE TWO. #What #Kms

PAGE THREE. pretty pls with two cherries on top

#k-labels #k-films #yeonjun #txt #tomorrow x together #yeonjun smau #yeonjun social media au #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun imagines #txt smau #txt social media au #txt socmed au #txt x reader #txt scenarios #txt imagines #txt fake text #kpop #sureogi

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kookingtae · 2 months

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Just read the art of seduction and gotta say it was sooo much fun!!! Really loved the way you wrote bully/mean!reader and nerdy/kook!! It's always a nice experience to see the roles reversed in stories like that. All the nuances in mcs personality were good too, nice to see her vulnerable side that early cause like yeah it's lots of fun too read mean!readers (really, I love that trope) but seeing the side that's usually not shown that early is so great cause we can sympathize even more with her. And the fact that kook seemed so genuinely scared of her?? God have mercy on me! Fantastic! Like, there'd need so much undoing on their 'relationship' so their (eventual?) romance would flower like, poor guy is so traumatized by all mcs put him through! It was so amazing I swear!! I know I'm late saying this but thank you so much for the story! It'd be so great if you had continued but I understand that we grow out of thing too. Thank you for sharing 😉

AHHHH OMG thank you so much for saying all of this!!! you got me excited thinking about my fic again, i had a blast brainstorming it and have the whole plot planned out already but i just haven’t really written at all recently :(( which makes me sad bc writing is my favorite thing to do but life and lack of motivation gets in the way i suppose.

but this fic was one i was really really excited about bc i LOVE role reversal fics like that and im so glad you do too and that you can appreciate the character development i put in by showing the different sides to oc’s personality with a little bit of insight on who she is and why she is the way she is rather than just having a flat bully character! i feel like establishing that early on is super important if they’re going to get together eventually, which obviously they do bc this is a jk x reader fic lol. but yes you’re right, there needs to be so much deconstruction and rebuilding of their relationship to even get to that point! with their ‘seduction’ lessons tho, there’s also going to be some sexual tension that flourishes between them and confuses both of them 🤭 as well as eventual jealousy of course on the oc’s part when jk continues to pursue irene, bc that’s obviously what these lessons are about so why WOULDNT he do that? and there’s conflicting feelings on jk’s side too and it just becomes one big mess ksjdsj i would love to continue writing this series!! maybe the inspo will strike again 🥹

#tysm again this made me wanna continue working on it!! 🫶#ask #anon #the art of seduction

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motherloads · 9 months

Text

I Know You

Summary: Reader who isn't what she seems to be. Supposedly a normal college student working in a grocery store, she has no idea what is about to be revealed. When waking up, she is unknowingly surrounded by the heroes of the DC Universe who have to watch snippets of her life before she jumped into their universe.

->Possible One Shot

-> Word Count: (6,648k)

-> Pairings: Implied! Tim Drake x f!Reader, Past!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (it is not what it looks like)

-> Crossover DC/Marvel, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, Bat family(Main)

-> Warnings: Suicide(not reader), Grieving, Guilt, Miguel being an ass.

a/n: First Official fanfic published! Originally, the first was supposed to be a Star Wars/Moon Knight crossover but I lost motivation lol. It was halfway done before I stopped writing it. I do not see many fics written with crossovers that include the readers so why not? Fic does include song lyrics relating to the situations but this is a watch-it fic! If anyone would like, in the future I can possibly write more related to this universe. :)

Pls ignore grammar mistakes as I ignore Grammarly. This is an escape from my summer courses.

I hate who I was before.

Her eyes dimmed, as they ran through the inventory list for her work. She murmured the calculations under her breath as she pointed out the things that were most likely stolen by the preteens who laughed their way out of only buying 2 red bulls. With a sigh, she writes down the missing inventory.

This would come out of her paycheck.

Songs came and went through the earplugs she had inserted in her ears. At a good volume to hear any incoming customers, she continued on her way to the last aisle.

No, I never knew what it meant, what it meant to be content with you.

It was less likely for people to steal coffee products. She was thankful that this was the last one she had to look through. Despite her shift having another 3 hours to end, she knew her 30 minute lunch break was coming up soon. She hoped nobody would steal her lunch since she forgot to write her name on the box.

She started ticking off the items and counting them in her head. She murmurs the lyrics under her breath, continuing down the aisle.

I’ll quiet down if that’s what you want. I understand I’m not the only one for you.

Someone calls out her name, a familiar voice that brings her out of her thoughts. Lowering her music just a tad bit, she turns to the customer.

Alfred smiles at her kindly, offering a curt nod in which she responded with a smile and a wave. “Have any new creamers?” He questioned her, now looking at the assortment of creamers in front of them.

She shakes her head in response, “It’s very rare for us to have new stock Mister Alfred. Would you like a new recommendation, though?”

He holds a brand she instantly recognized, “That’d be lovely. What about this one?”

“Lovely choice Mister Alfred. Although, I wouldn’t add too much since it will get too sweet. Don’t think Tim would like it.” He smiles in response, putting the creamer in his basket.

“Fortunately, he is still banned from coffee. I assumed he would have told you?” She felt her face grow hot in response. She sends him a sheepish smile.

“We’ve both been busy. Haven’t had the time to talk.”

All I wanted was you.

Alfred knew what she meant, sending her a sad smile. He instantly recognized the signs of people drifting away the moment things got out of their control. He bids his goodbye, walking away from the worker stuck in her own thoughts.

All I wanted was you.

She rubs her cheeks tiredly, making sure to avoid the makeup she woke up early for. Her bags had grown worse during the past month, reminiscing of the old and what it once was. It was not like it was all Tim’s fault, really, that he had begun to slip away when he noticed things started to change between the two. When Steph noticed the change and brought it up with her, she avoided the conversation as a whole.

“People drift apart, Steph. It’s normal.”

Steph scoffs, “It isn’t normal when you guys are best friends! When you worked at that coffee shop before, you were literally the only one who didn’t decline his weird order. Hell, he stayed when you went through that changing major crisis!”

She continues to bag Steph’s groceries, ignoring the looks she was receiving from her coworkers. Things were slow today, it was not her fault Steph decided to confront her while she was at work.

“Steph,” She sighs tiredly, “I really don’t want to talk about this. I just started my shift. Can we talk about this another day?”

Steph grabs her own bags, patting her hands in response, “Fine. I’m here if you need me.”

You’re not who you are to anyone.

She leaves for the break room, notifying her other coworker, who waved her off with a farewell. Taking out her lunchbox, she heats up her leftovers from the weekend. Scrolling through her phone, she sees the spam messages Steph had sent her. Updating her about Tim and their families’ weekly dinner.

It wasn’t like the dinner always worked! Jason almost never shows up unless it is absolutely necessary. Dick uses his status as a cop to get out of dinners. Tim was always working overtime to avoid the dinners. Damian had to be there or else he would be grounded from going out. Cass was almost always there but never began conversations. Duke, the brightest one who tried to start conversations, became demotivated over time. Barbara, sweet Barbara, who worked too far to arrive at the Dinner on time. Steph ranted to her about the family and she could not help it.

She began to cry.

Can you come back to me? ‘Cause I was too blind to see that you were right in front of me.

She missed her friends. But she could not go back after she failed them.

She failed them all.

I’m so sorry Miguel.

She slips her food onto the table, beginning to eat the cold, but at the same time hot lunch.

She wipes the tears from under her eyes, looking through her small pocket mirror to make sure she did not smudge anything. She felt her eyelashes prickle against her eyelids, feeling ticklish and sensitive from the crying. She sniffs the snot away, pushing her half eaten food away. She was no longer hungry and she wanted to go home.

I want to go home.

She throws her food away, diminishing the past thought from her head. Waltzing into the employee bathroom, she leaned her head on her arms in front of the closed door. No matter how nasty this bathroom was, she still managed to find the (almost) silence good for her.

Used to stick together. You’re my best friend, I’ll love you forever

Her time was ticking to go back to work, silently cursing to herself when she realized she forgot to clock out for her lunch. God, her boss is going to reprimand her for this. For any little thing she slipped or missed to do, her boss was on her about it. Guilt tripping her on the problems she can cause with her mistakes.

She was just trying to do her best.

She steps out of the bathroom, manually writing her clocking out and in for lunch. She was back to work.

When she stepped out, she realized how silent it was. There was no noise except for her song.

What’s up danger?

She called out for her coworker but there was no response. She walked down the aisle but there were no customers. When she walked to the front she realized there was nobody.

Everyone was gone.

Everything knocks out of her at once, feeling the prick in the back of her head that something was wrong. Her phone clatters to the floor, yanking her earbuds out of her ear.

She drops to the floor as well, holding her hands to her ears. The world's noises began to grow louder but there was absolutely nobody around. No cars honking, no children playing at the park nearby.

Only the sounds of the birds chirping and the wind picking up outside.

With that, her eyes roll to the back of her head and she knocks out.

⋆｡°✩

When she woke up, she noticed how the noises were dimmed. The same way it was before the spider bite. Before everything occurred. She looked around, sighing in relief when she noticed the people who had similar confused looks.

Her eyes stopped at Tim, who was next to Steph.

Who was next to Cass.

Who was next to Damian.

Who was next to Dick.

Who was next to Bruce.

Who was next to Duke.

Who was next to Alfred.

Who was next to Barbara

Who was next to Jason.

She sees other familiar faces like the famous Clark Kent. She sees him with unfamiliar people. With boys who had similar looks as him.

She noticed others as well, people who looked like they were important. Like they were part of a team.

Is that Wonder Woman?

She noticed in the far corner, there were recognizable people. People who should be in Arkham Asylum. Villains. Her breathing still remained normal despite this.

When people began murmuring their theories, Clark was the one who spoke up, “I would recommend that everyone should sit down. The villains especially.” He set his eyes at the corner.

Harley giggles in response, “Wouldn’t dream of doing anything big guy. Wonder Woman is here after all!”

"Shouldn't we all be finding a way to escape?" A redhead explains, "This was honestly not on my bucket list today. Waking up with Bruce Wayne beside me--no offense."

Bruce grunts in response, ignoring the way his children tried not to laugh at the redheaded man's comment.

She noticed a group of people now going closer to Wonder Woman. Younger in age, they all varied in appearances. One was light orange.

Wasn’t that Starfire?

She sits down hesitantly, avoiding the light to make sure they did not see her. Especially, Tim, he could not see her. Not now, maybe not ever.

Once everyone sat down, things were quiet.

People began to grow restless at the uncomfortable silence. The people who knew who were in this very room had begun to feel suffocated. They hoped this wasn't a trap from their greatest enemy.

A song began to play, one she recognized from her playlist.

Nothing scares me anymore. Kiss me hard before you go Summertime sadness

She stifles her gasp when the big screen flickers, showing a familiar face.

It was her.

She heard others who couldn’t quite hide their gasps while others murmured, wondering who she was.

Tim’s family definitely knew who she was.

She was smiling, her head tilted. Her hair flowed with the wind, sometimes getting in her face but not quite where she felt bothered by it. She still wore the same headphones.

Dressed differently than how she does now, she knew what was hiding behind that outfit. That bulky outfit that she collected from her own friends.

“I think you’re scared,” She laughs, talking to someone who was not shown on the screen. “Afraid you won’t catch me?”

That’s when everyone noticed where she was. On a high building, the colors became brighter as things began to glitch into place. This world was not there. But she still looked the same. How was this possible?

“I ain’t scared,” a deep voice responds, as a teen steps out into the shadows. A familiar face, adorned with piercings and the tiniest bit of smudged eyeliner, smirks at her. A suit, shredded in a way that screamed edgy was displayed as his outfit. “Think you're scared.”

The accent was unrecognizable to the ones living in Gotham.

“Come on Hobie! I can see you shivering in your platforms.” She shakes her head, stepping closer to the ledge. “You scaredy cat. I thought Pav was supposed to be the one scared.”

“Think that’s Meows,” The teen now known as Hobie reasons, “That man ain’t know how to catch a human.”

“Obviously, dumbass,” She rolls her eyes, “He’s a cat!”

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Hobie warns, “Might wake up to ah dead rat in your bed.” He paused for a moment, before gesturing to her headphones, “ ‘Ink it’s ok to jump like tha’?

She fiddles with her headphones, “I like the hazard of being hung.” She shrugs shamelessly.

“Mmm,” Hobie steps closer, “Or is i’ that you don’ want to speak to Miguel?”

“No,” she immediately shoots back at him, “I don’t need his help.”

“Don’ you think it’s time to move on?”

“I have moved on, Mr. O’Hara is not a problem!” She exclaims, “Why does everyone think I’m in love with the guy? He's old!”

“Technically he was younger.” Hobie shrugs shamelessly, “Ain’t a problem to like older men. What about Oscar Isaac?”

The girl glared harder, “Do NOT bring Poe Dameron into this. This isn’t about him!”

“Suree,” Hobie drawls, “When are ya—“

He gets cut off with a jacket thrown at his face. When he pulls it off, she grins at him innocently.

“See ya around, Punk.”

And she jumps.

The screen turns dark at this, the people viewing it sharing looks of confusion and awe.

“So did she die?” Jason was the first to speak, shrugging shamelessly when Dick smacked his head in response.

“Obviously not,” Steph argues, “She’s my friend. I would know if she’s dead!”

"She always makes morbid jokes like this?" Duke questions Steph, who glares at him in return, "Hey--I'm just asking!"

Tim stayed quiet throughout this whole ordeal.

The screen flickers on.

But I got needs, yeah, I got needs. I want war, But I need peace And you kept calling me crazy But baby that's what you made me

“Have you ever been in love?” A teen asks, playing with his fries through the cane’s sauce. His chicken tenders were left untouched.

“I think everyone has been in love at least once now,” She responds back to the younger teen, taking a sip of her Sprite. “Why? Are you in love with Gwen?”

“Yeah,,,” He sighs, his eyes widening when he realizes what he said, “What! No, No— I have never been in love! Not with Gwen! Totally, definitely not. Not after what she did, siding with Mig—“ He stops, looking at her sheepishly.

“Sorry. I know how much you like him.” She scowls in response to his comment.

“I do NOT like Mr. O’Hara. Never will, Miles. Do not say that again, or I’ll tell Gwen you painted a mural for her.” She threatens, pointing a chicken tender at the teen now known as Miles.

“Okay! I promise! Sheesh— I should have never shown you!” Miles rubs his neck embarrassingly. He closes up his half-eaten box of chicken tenders.

“Back to patrolling?” She asks, throwing her own tray of food. “Wanna find a kid in need to give that to?”

Miles nods in response, walking out with her.

“So…who is your first love?” He questions her as they walk down the street together.

“He’s long gone.”

“Canon event?”

“Canon event.” She agreed.

“How—How did it happen?” Miles hesitantly asks.

She smiles sadly, “We heroes think we know everything. Think we’re saving everyone. We don’t see the struggles our loved ones are facing just by breathing every day.”

“Did he…”

“Yes, Miles. He did.”

The screen turns black.

“Well,” Barry scratches his head awkwardly, “This has been…informative…but who is she? Or anyone else shown? Or Miguel? The recurring character.”

“I think they’re real people, Barry.” Cyborg answers. “Real people dealing with real things.”

“Heroes,” Poison Ivy hisses, “Always heroes.”

I thought you were my new best friend. Wish I knew better then. Who knew you were just out to get me? My whole world just fell apart. Cause I never felt so alone, felt so alone.

She is pushed to the floor, huffing puffs of air into her lungs. She was tired. So so tired.

“Please Mr. O’Hara,” She gasps, “I can’t—I can’t take it anymore.”

“Heroes don’t give up.” An older man snarls in the dark, darting around the girl, “Heroes keep fighting. They never stop. We never stop.”

“You—“ She wobbles up to a fighting stance, surveying the dark room. She dodges his first attack, but the next hit her right in the stomach. She doubles over in pain. “You are no hero. After everything you did? This—This society is not—“

She gets cut off when he grabs her from behind, putting her in a chokehold, “Say that again, I dare you.” He hisses into her ear.

His face is clear. A man, tired from age and wrinkles adorning his face. His lips twisted up in a snarl, showing off his sharp teeth. His eyes glow red in response. His height compared to the girl was intimidating to the eyes.

She struggles against his hold, slamming her head back to hit his chin. He lets go as she pushes herself away. He loses his balance and grabs the first thing close to his vicinity.

He grabs her headphones.

Noises suddenly blossom everywhere, causing her to stumble to her knees. The noises grew louder as various voices surrounded her. The familiar humming of the machines is felt under her fingers, through the floor.

“It hurts so much!” She cries, holding her ears together, “Please, Please make it stop!” She rocks herself back and forth, screaming in the room that should have no noise. But her senses were enhanced. Too enhanced for her body to handle. She could not live a regular life without something blocking out most noises from the world.

As abrupt as it came, it suddenly stopped. A whirring sound connected to her ears adjusted her hearing to her surroundings. Her soft music starts to play once again.

She touches the back of her ears carefully, feeling an unfamiliar placement of a small mechanism there.

She looks up at Miguel who showed no response to what he had done. How he had just helped her.

“H-How—“ She murmurs, “How did you know?”

“I know everything about you. Was going to wait until you asked. How was I supposed to know that you’re a stubborn son of a bitch who is still in love with my counterpart? Avoiding your boss isn’t wise, you know. ”

She glares in response, “Was. And it wasn’t you. It never was you and you know that.”

“I know,” Miguel shifts his stance, “Let’s go again.”

“Okay so that’s Miguel,” Harvey cooed, “He’s so! Delicious! I wonder if he bites his lovers.” She giggles, squishing her cheeks together as she sways around.

“If it isn’t him, then who is it?” Bruce questions, “None of this is making any sense. Is she around? Can she answer questions?”

Before they could begin looking around, another scene begins.

What’s the kindest way to say You took away my friend, my buddy? What’s the kindest way to say. The end?

“Miguel!” She calls out, removing her shoes at the entrance of his place, “Your brother called me to check up on you! He’s been worried?” She has no answer in response.

“Miguel?” She questions, stepping farther into the dark apartment. There seemed to be nobody, but she knew better. She smells the blood from where she was.

“Don’t do this to me,” She whispers, “Come on, don’t do this…” She steps closer to the bathroom, the only place that had the lights on.

“Miguel? Are you—Are you in there?” She nudges the door open. But, she immediately falls back when she sees the familiar puddle of red.

There laid a younger Miguel, face clear of wrinkles. His eyes are closed, his hand holding a gun in return. She kneels down next to him, looking for his pulse. Anything to show that she wasn't too late.

There was nothing.

All she could see was the red on her hands. The red of his blood. His blood had been cold.

His body had been dead for hours.

She cried, holding his body close to her chest, feeling his cold skin against her warm skin. She felt his eyelashes against her cheek. She felt his lips on her neck.

She felt the gun wound on the side of his head.

The scene switches in front of a gravestone. There, an unfamiliar person stood in front of it. Her face was obscured by a motorcycle helmet. It glowed in response to her eyes, narrowed in the familiar spider eyes that they all had.

Her suit is predominantly displayed in several colors to blend in the night. The spider emblem was bright against her chest, glowing in response to her heart as if it was humming. As if it was alive and a part of her.

“I could have saved him.” She placed the flowers on the grave, pressing her hand against the cool surface.

“Gabriel texted me an hour before he shot himself. Gabriel could tell something was off but I was… patrolling. I was doing my job.”

The figure’s helmet disappeared as if it was never there, showing the girl they all had been seeing.

The girl they recognized now as one of the workers at the grocery store many frequented. The one that was posted on Tims and Steph’s Instagram page. The one Alfred spoke to for recommendations on items he should buy from the grocery store. The one who once met Dick when she had to file a police report for a robbery gone wrong.

She had been the one who secretly gave Duke an employee discount. The one who refused to sell Jason alcohol because his appearance didn’t match his age. She was the one who occasionally offered Cass affordable options for alternative clothing. She was the one who agreed to take in a cat that Damian could not keep. She was the one who Barbara frequently saw visiting the library.

Her eyes, tired from the lack of sleep she’s been getting, teared up at her thoughts, “He could have been alive. I could have saved him.”

“What kind of hero am I?” She whispered, “I’m so sorry Miguel.”

A voice calls out her hero's name. Quickly, her helmet appears again, covering her identity. She turns to narrow her eyes at the woman calling her name.

Jessica leaned against a tree. A brilliance of orange, red, and multiple shades of purple was behind her, “You ready to go? Gotta have your introduction to our Society first.”

“Yeah, yeah, Mom,” She shakes her head in response, walking towards the woman who was evidently pregnant, “Let’s get outta here. Who's your leader again?”

“You’ll see,” Is what Jessica responds. When they walk through the portal, it disappears as if it wasn’t there.

“Oh,” Barry responds dumbly, “That’s Miguel.”

“Why did she never tell us…” Steph whispers, turning to Tim, who turned a lighter shade. He looked sick to his stomach from the recent video.

How did he not notice she was going through something? How could he not push away his selfishness and see what was wrong? He should have. He definitely should have.

Afterall, that’s the girl he likes.

“Well technically he’s alive again, right?” Jason questions. “Mr. O’Hara dude? Anyone?”

“I don’t think…” Barbara hesitated, “I don’t think they’re the same person.”

“All evidence points that they are not the same. First, the age difference. Second, the comments everyone has been making in the videos.” Dick supplies helpfully.

“Then who is that guy?” Duke questions, “A clone?”

“Possibly.” Cass signs, “The pit?”

“No, that can’t be possible.” Talia, who had not shown she was there, spoke up, “I would know if he was dragged there.”

“Mother,” Damian scoffs, “Of course you would have a book keeping that.”

“Anyone going to talk about the portal? Hello?” Duke questions, receiving looks of equal confusion from the Waynes.

But I'm not like the others. I don’t always like what I have to do. But I know I have to be the one to do it. I’ve given too much to stop now.

“What’s this?” A familiar face pops up. It is Miles. A blue, glowing orb is represented in front of him in a dark room. He was wearing an unfamiliar suit with a familiar emblem.

“This is everything.” Miguel, in his glory, is in front of Miles. His height was terrifying and intimidating.

When the orb hits the floor, it suddenly begins to sprout in a bright blue light. It started to spread like blood pumping in veins.

“Can you be more specific?” Miles questions.

“Can you not talk for a second?” Miguel snarks back. Miles agreed.

Red had started to spread.

“This here…is all of us.”

“All of our lives, woven together in a beautiful web of life and destiny.”

“The Spider-verse,” Miles murmured.

“Spider-verse? Huh— that’s…stupid. It’s called the Arachno Humanoid Poly Multiverse.” Miles gave a look towards Miguel.

Miguel concedes, “Which sounds…stupid, too, I guess.”

“In these nodes where the lines converge?” Miles' sentence falls off but Miguel continues, “they are the canon.”

“Chapters that are a part of every spider's story, every time. Some good, some bad, some very bad.”

Different scenes and pictures are presented to Miles who looks in awe. When Miguel moved his hands, an array of heroes with similar suits showed up, kneeling over their loved ones body.

At the last one, it showed Miles losing his Uncle.

As Miguel continues to explain, the dread had started to pool in everyone's stomach. They weren’t liking where this was going.

As many spiders are shown, there are canon events. There was one that many recognized. The death of Miguel.

“Canon events are the connections that bind our lives together. But those connections can be broken. That’s why anomalies are so dangerous.”

Miguel had begun to grow more assertive towards Miles, showing him the problem he had caused with disrupting Pav’s canon event.

“You weren’t supposed to save him. That’s why Gwen tried to stop you.”

“I thought you were trying to save me.” Miles turned to an unfamiliar face, now known as Gwen. She looked guilty.

When Miles questions Miguel on how he knew this would happen, Miguel reveals his own secret.

“I found a world where I had a family, where I was happy.” The scenes shift to a little girl and Miguel, happy together. They were so happy, she did not have a clue on what was going to happen.

“At least a version of me was…and that version of myself was killed. So I replaced him.”

The girl's face was more clear, Miguel so happy—opposite of who he was now.

Citizens were running—from what they had no clue. But they feared for their lives. Miguel ran too, holding his sweet, sweet girl. He continued to run, despite the glitching she was experiencing.

She cries in fear, “Daddy! Dad! Dad, help!” Slowly but surely, she disappeared from his grip. She was gone, as if she was never there.

“We could lose everything.” Everything breaks all at once, disappearing from view.

“My dad is about to be Captain...” Miles realizes. It began panning to the people in the room. The familiar girl appeared, shifting her feet restlessly, free from her helmet.

Suddenly, Miles's spider senses began to overload. His memories continuously shift to an unfamiliar white figure and himself. The figure had abruptly turned pitch black, glitching as it ruined everything from its vicinity.

“I’m going to take everything from you, like you took everything from me.”

An unfamiliar cop was running towards a small child who was frozen in fear in front of a building that was collapsing.

Miles grew restless, asking Miguel of his fathers death.

“I’m sorry, Miles.” Miles refused the apology, asking, almost begging to be sent home.

“Send me home! What else am I supposed to do? Let him die?” The no response was a clear answer to him, but he could not accept it.

He began projecting towards Gwen, trying to make her see reason. Nobody was listening. Why was nobody listening?

He then attacks an unfamiliar man, holding a baby who cooed cluelessly at the situation. The man also deflected Miles’ projection.

“And you? What about you, huh? You said you’d do anything to go back in time! You won’t give me that chance either?” She looks away from Miles, feeling the tears stinging her eyes. She stayed silent, knowing what her answer was.

“So we’re just supposed to let people die just because some algorithm says that’s supposed to happen?”

“You have a choice between saving one person and saving an entire world—every world.”

“I can do both! Spider-man always—“ Miles gets cut off by Peter. That’s when Miles began to notice the people surrounding him.

“Being Spider-Man is a sacrifice. That’s the job and that’s what you signed up for.”

Miles grew more agitated at the people surrounding him.

“You should have never come to see me.” Miles directed to Gwen. His pain was reflected in his eyes. He turns his attention to Miguel, directly stepping forward to face the man. Their prolonged eye contact intensified the situation.

All of a sudden, Miles is trapped in red. He couldn’t get out. They weren’t letting him out. Why were they not letting him out? He bangs on the red blocking him from the rest as everyone argues in the background.

“Palms,” Hobie mouthed. With her helmet back on, the girl stepped closer to the red projection blocking her.

“Do what everyone else can’t, Miles.”

With that, Miles pressed his palms onto the red prison blocking him. Blue electricity ran through his fingertips and followed through his palms. He released his entire electricity current as the room erupted in the remains of the red prison. Many were hit on impact.

Miles breathed deeply, staring at the masked heroes who were gaining their senses back from the explosion.

“Run.”

“Spider-Verse,” Barry Allen gasps, “Is this the multiverse? But for them? Oh my god! This must mean she’s a part of this universe. We should find her, to ask her more about this Society. Are they like the Justice League?” He rambles as others groaned at his tangent. His voice sped up at the end, which caused everyone to realize how interested he was in the subject.

“Is Miguel a bad guy?” Jason questions instead, “Hell, he seems to play the role just fine.”

“Not necessarily,” Bruce argued, “It seems like he has a valid reason for doing so.”

“Yeah, but…would you not do anything if you knew of your future? I think Miles' feelings are valid.” Dick tries to reason with Bruce.

Damien scoffs, “Obviously not, Grayson. It would be a necessary sacrifice to lose one life over everyone.”

“It’s his father, though,” Steph meekly responds, “Tim? Back me up on this?”

“I…” Tim hesitates, “Maybe we should hear this from the source? The connection we all have?”

Before they can find her, the final scene begins.

I’m comin’ through with my crew to make ‘em pay. I don’t need no super suit, I’m feeling brave Don’t be a hero, turn around and walk away. Who in here tryna start a riot?

She hums as the lyrics fill her ears, packaging the orders for the recent customer who had used over 20 food stamps to lower her price. There was a maximum of 5 food stamps, and everyone knew the rules. But, she was feeling generous.

“I hope you have a nice day.” She smiles at her customer, a grateful mother who quickly deposited her bags into her trolley. The woman thanks her in response as she leaves.

“There seems to be a lockdown at a Wayne Gala. No bats seem to be near the premise as unfamiliar villains hold the citizens' hostage. These hostages include the Wayne Family…” The news continues speaking of the situation, the girl focusing on the broadcast.

“The villains seem to be demanding a hero. No heroes go by this name. A Spider…Woman? Do I hear this correctly?”

She tenses up at this, her eyes widening as the helicopter zooms closer to the villain closest to the window.

It was her Green Goblin.

Peter Parker.

“I—“ She looks at her coworker, who looks at her confusingly, “There’s been an emergency. I have to go.”

“Our boss will fire you if you leave!” Another coworker pipes up, “They’ll replace you, I don’t think—“

“Then I quit. I have to go.” With that, she removes her employee’s t-shirt, leaving it on the conveyor belt.

“I’m sorry, Stan,” she apologizes to her next customer, “Your groceries are on me.”

Stan waves her off, “Go save the world, kid.” With a confused look at him, she leaves the grocery store.

“What do we do?” Tim hisses, pointing a glare at Damian who was held down by Cass. They couldn’t believe they were being held by new villains.

“Stay put,” Bruce was on his phone, trying to get into contact with Barbara. “They stopped any communications from the outside. I can’t get through to O.”

“You think Red knows?” Dick questions beside him, “They all have to know what’s going on, right?”

“Like he’d come,” Damian scoffs, “He hates all of us.”

“He wouldn’t leave innocent civilians to die,” Dick shoots back, “He wouldn’t.”

“He totally would,” Tim argues, “These are all rich folks. He absolutely despises them all.”

With those final words, they all quieted down.

“They’re blocking all the exits,” Bruce says after a moment, “I thin—“ He gets cut off from a window smashing into themselves, an unfamiliar person jumping through the hole created. Screams are heard as many stepped back from the glass flying everywhere.

“Heard you were looking for me,” The voice calls out. Her helmet’s eyes narrowed at the main villain, who snarls in response, “Now I’m here, Parker.”

“It’s GREEN GOBLIN!” The villain roars angrily, “Peter Parker is not here right now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” The figure’s rolls her eyes—well helmets eyes, “Take that up with my boss.”

“It is idiotic for you to appear with no backup. All alone, bug?” Another voice hissed out, a black, looming figure that grinned. His array of teeth showed off the leftover blood from his past victims. His eyes, similar to the unfamiliar woman, grinned with his smile, “What a bad idea.”

“Bad, Bad idea.” Another voice agreed, a woman sitting atop the lights above the ballroom. The vulture squawked in laughter, giggling at the lonely woman.

“Ain’t got no friends,” cooed the lizard. Their voice, combined with many, left their identity unrecognizable. Their height overpowered the rest of the villains, nearly similar to Venom’s.

“Who says I came alone?”

With those words, different portals had begun to open around the room. Different figures stepped out, a specific two high-fiving one another.

“Spiders!” Doc Oc shouts, “There are more!”

A portal opened up near the Wayne’s. Bruce protectively put himself in front of his kids. What a way to protect them when he couldn’t before.

The man loomed at Bruce, tilting his masked face at the family. He was silent for a moment.

“You Batman?” The man asks, “Don’t worry. We got this from here.” With those words, the man began instructing the other spiders.

“Byte! Get the civilians out of here. Escort them to the nearest exits.” He calls out, hearing confirmation from a woman who glowed blue.

“Pav, you and Punk get the Lizard. Try not to get bitten by them.”

“Aye aye, Captain!” Pav salutes, running towards Lizard who growled in anger. He swipes at Spider-Punk, who easily dodges his attacks.

“Web-slinger! Vulture is coming at you!” A shot resonated in response. Everyone grew nervous, looking at the man in a cowboy outfit. The man was not who they were freaked about. It was the horse that was matching with him.

Venom stepped forward, grinning at the cat dressed similarly to one of the other spiders. The cat blinked up at the man-eating villain. No thoughts behind his expression.

“Someone get the cat away from Venom!” He hears another confirmation as Gwen scoops up Meows Morales before Venom can take a bite. With the both of them, they both decided to prance around Venom.

Jessica Drew revved her motorcycle engine, lining the floor with her wheels as she guides her motorcycle to hit Doc Oc head-on. She grins in return, her belly no longer evident.

“All that leaves is…”

Green Goblin snarls at the fights surrounding him, avoiding the hits from the woman in the helmet. “Focus on our fight, Parker! Don’t want nobody to steal your attention!” She snarks, finally kicking him in the stomach.

His glider slams into her back at the same time. She grunts in frustration, grabbing at the ends of the glider and hitting him with it instead. “Coward!”

“Mierda…” The man whispers, “Stand down, Astro!”

The woman whips her head at him in response to her nickname. The nickname to tell a difference between the Spider’s when in battle.

“Stand down.” The man asserted, “I’ll handle this.”

“Old man,” she replies back, grunting suddenly as she avoids the onslaught of Green Goblin who continues his relentless attacks, “He’s my villain. I’ll handle this.”

“They’re all your villains, kid.” He replies back, joining her in the fight. Green Goblin screams are filled with pure malice at the continuous attacks from both sides. “Go get the Wayne’s out. And suited.”

“Suited? I don’t know if you’re delusional but they are in suits.”

“Stop ignoring me! At once!” Green Goblin screams, pulling at his mask as he slams it down angrily.

“Shut up Parker!” They both snapped at the villain. The man turns to Astro, “They’ll know what you mean.”

With one final punch to Green Goblin, she lets Miguel handle the rest. As she walks closer to the Wayne’s, Miguel is shown behind her, his eyes from his mask shifting to glare at Green Goblin. Miguel slams him to the ground, sitting on his back as the Green Goblin’s face smooshes against the floor. Miguel’s face is obscured from sight, no one could tell what he had planned. When his mask dematerializes, Miguel bites down with a small grunt.

Green Goblin howls in pain, feeling himself go slack in Miguel’s grip. Miguel stands up, his mask back on, blocking his face from the viewers.

“Oh he’s definitely dead.” Cass confirms.

“He isn’t,” the woman is in front of them, tilting her helmet at the Wayne’s. “Mr. Bossman says you all should suit up. I’m sorry, I think he has bad eyesight.”

“How—“ Bruce glares around the room, seeing the various heroes bring the villains down. Venom, who was now a red headed woman, was knocked out cold. The cat held a vile with an angry, black slug.

The Lizard was entangled in two different webs and slackened into himself as Pav and Punk high-fived one another. They ignored the look they received from Miguel, who had paralyzed their opponent.

Doc Oc talked into themselves with their limbs, murmuring an apology to Jessica. They had a look of pure embarrassment with how they hung upside down.

Vulture pouted from under the horse, who absentmindedly licked the sugar given Web-Slinger. He smoothened out his horse’s mane, softly cooing at them.

“How does he know who I am?” Bruce asks her.

“He knows everyone, Mr. Wayne. Can’t hide anything. Believe me, I’ve tried to hide my weed.” She jokes. The only one who let out a laugh was Dick, who immediately covered it up.

“That was a joke.”

“So he definitely knows.” Tim spoke up from the uncomfortable silence. “He literally said your alias, Bruce.”

“Bruce Wayne is Batman?!” Harley screeches, “I knew it! I totally knew it!”

“No, you didn’t,” Poison Ivy frowns, “You thought Jon Bernthal was Batman.”

“Does that mean…he knows everyone else?” Jason asks, “And is anyone going to mention how he bit that villain? Literally nobody?”

“Is nobody going to talk about the cat?!” Damian hisses, “Alfred can do the same!”

“Do not get any ideas, Master Damian,” Alfred reprimands.

“Guess I need to reintroduce myself.” She spoke up, standing from her position as she waved at everyone who snapped their head towards her.

She grins, her facade of the normal grocery store employee fading from their view. Her clothing shifted in their eyes as the suit began to materialize against her skin.

She gives her name, “I’m one of the many Spider-Woman from the multiverse…although your universe is a completely different path with their own worlds intertwined . I just decided to land in the less…traumatic one.”

“I’m your world's only Spider-Woman, Astro Spider.” She makes eye contact with Tim, her smile widening.

“It’s nice to finally meet this world’s heroes.”

I hope you find some peace of mind in this lifetime. Tell them, Tell 'em, Tell them the truth.

#tim drake x reader #crossover #dc universe #spiderverse x reader #red robin x reader #tim drake imagine #dc comics #batfam imagine #identity reveal #song fic #dc universe x marvel universe #batfam

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jasntodds · 1 year

Text

Caving In [7]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 16,820 (I know)

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of almost being murdered, blood, violence, fluff, the chapter is “if it’s too much to carry” because of the song by the same name by Jansen, The wldlfe, Jason is soft for 1 person and it’s the reader, Dick blames Jason for everything, mentions of being held captive, mentions of abuse (nothing in detail), this ends up being the softest thing I’ve ever written so

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: This is my favorite chapter!!!!! I’ve been looking forward to this since I wrote it so I hope you guys like it lol I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Over the next month, Gar and you continue to get closer. After the night you spent in Gar’s room, you both felt a bit closer. It was the best night's sleep you had gotten since your mom died. You didn’t even have a nightmare. You just slept the whole night perfectly comfortable against Gar. And Gar woke up with a lopsided grin that makes your stomach swirl. Since then though, you sleeping in his room has only happened one other time because you both fell asleep watching a movie. Neither of you really want to make it a routine too soon. You’re just friends and going through the motions of everything together.

But you’ve gotten to know each other through just hanging out. Gar has shown you almost all his favorite video games and you’ve made a good dent in movies Gar dreams as classics that you haven’t seen. You talked more about your hobbies, Gar finding out you prefer to rollerblade places rather a bike or walking and you found out Gar prefers a skateboard. It made you smile because it does fit him.

You talked more about your past lives, focusing more on happy moments like when you attended your first concert with your best friend. You beamed so wide, voice booming from the walls as you told Gar about the whole night. A storm hitting and the entire city losing power besides that arena, you getting to stand third row, the energy of place you explained as the closest to home you could get without being home. And Gar talked about his dad teaching him to ride a skateboard, how he fell several times and had his trucks so tight he couldn’t turn for over a month. He smiled and laughed the whole time, retelling the story of his mom being stressed cleaning his cut-up knees and hands. You spent hours just talking one night until Jason banged on your wall telling you to shut up. It only made you both laugh.

You and Jason have also been getting closer. You started training and the first week was pretty boring in comparison to what Jason had you do. But after a week and a half, Dick deemed you healed enough to train with the others. You still didn’t think it was enough. Two training sessions a day against two people who have already been training for 2 months and Jason who’s been training for over a year. You need to catch up so, you and Jason do an extra session late at night. Sometimes Gar even joins you and those are your favorites because it’s just the three of you. The three of you together have gotten close. Jason even tags along for some movie nights with just you and Gar, along with the movie nights with Rachel. Rachel doesn’t join you for the training though, she really does not like Jason.

Jason is still more closed off than Gar is but you tell him stuff and that gets him to talk a bit to you. Your conversations are either more banter-filled or a bit heavy. You both can talk about your trauma with each other in forms of a joke until one of you cracks and asks something a bit more serious. It’s one of the things you both kind of appreciate, the other knowing when the conversation should turn into something more productive without you having to get all dark and deep. And that’s something nice with having someone who’s gone through something similar with parental figures, it’s easier to talk about. But, you do talk about your interests.

You find out Jason hasn’t seen too many movies, mostly horror and comedies because that’s what he watched with his uncle. Jason is permanently invited to your and Gar's movie nights. And you find out he did the graffiti on his wall. Jason offers to add some to your wall as a joke but you jumps at it. And you tell him you tried before but could never grasp the whole spray paint thing.

Now, it’s your turn to pick a movie for group movie night and you pick Zombieland, a movie you declare as a classic and a must-watch. Jason and Rachel haven’t seen it but of course, Gar has and he backs your opinion of the movie. A classic horror comedy, a must.

“That’s the one with Emma Stone, right?” Jason asks as he plops down on the couch beside you, Gar following right behind him with two bowls of popcorn for the group to share.

“And Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg.” Gar states, taking his seat on the other side of you, sitting between you and Rachel.

“Who the hell is that?”

“The Social Network?” You question Jason and he just shakes his head. “You have really only seen like horror, huh?”

“It’s what my uncle watched.” Jason scoffs in defense.

“The Social Network is iconic.” Rachel states, stealing popcorn from one of the bowls.

“We’ll have to watch it. He plays Mark Zuckerberg.” You explain as you turn the TV on, ready to get the movie going but you’re sucked into a news report.

The other three continue the conversation about the Social Network and why Jason needs to see it. But, you’re so wrapped up in the news report, their voices are completely drowned out. Your breathing hitches and you instinctively hit the closed captains, making sure you’re hearing correctly and actually understand what they’re saying.

“What the fuck.” You mutter, seeing Jerry’s picture on the screen.

Your words grab the other three’s attention, all of them watching the news report. Jerry’s picture makes him look like not such a horrible guy. He’s got a big, warm, toothy smile. He looks like you’re average jo and it sends your blood into a rapid boil. They’re calling him an upstanding civilian. You shake your head letting out a dry, cold laugh. Jerry had supposedly saved a boy from a train, yanking him to safety and now the news says he’s such a great citizen. A real great guy who saved a kid, completely unaware of the horrors that took place in his very basement. Then they have the audacity to talk about how he tries to help kids all the time. It’s his true passion. He works with troubled youth at one of the youth centers in the city and wants kids to live up to their true potential. He explains, right to the camera with a big grin like he’s not a complete monster, that some kids need help to reach that. Not a punishment or to be looked down upon, just encouragement, to know they’re good enough and worth the effort. You nearly take your drink from the table and chuck it at the TV.

“What. The. Ever-living-FUCK.” You say, this time your voice is louder and filled with rage and shock. “What the fuck.” You’re almost shaking as you watch.

“Maybe we should shut this off.” Gar suggests, gently taking the remote from your hand before you start melting it.

“He’s such fucking liar and they’re all just eating it up!” You wave your hand at the TV in disbelief.

"The media loves a fake hero." Jason scoffs, sitting back in his seat with the shake of his head. It turns his stomach. Of all things for you to catch on the news, it's your captor being celebrated.

"I get permanently fucking traumatized and he gets a fucking medal." Tears sting the back of your eyes as anger courses through your veins. It feels like Jerry is spitting on the grave he dug for you.

"That's not right." Gar states, unsure of what to even say right now.

How is anyone supposed to comfort someone who's watching their abuser and kidnapper get recognition for being a good person? After they left them for dead, no less? Gar is pretty sure there are no words or actions that could possibly make you feel better or offer you any type of comfort. The most he can do right now is agree with you.

"Just turn on the fucking movie." You scoff, shaking your head as you match Jason's position.

Gar does as he's told and loads the movie, air in the room stiff. Gar wonders why Dick hasn't done anything. Maybe he thinks the four of you aren't ready to have a mission or maybe he thinks you’re too close to it, which you are, but surely something should have been done about him. It's more than it's you and they all know you and like you, it's that he almost killed you. Gar doesn't really understand how Dick didn't at least put on the Robin suit one last time and take care of him himself.

Jason glances to you and he wants to help. The guy should be dead for what he did and they still don't know if you were the only one he's done it to. He moved from Gotham, who's to say the reason he moved was because GCPD was actually catching onto something for once? You might not be the only one or the last one and this guy is just out there, claiming a sense of glory for making sure a kid didn't get killed by a train. That doesn't erase what he did or make some type of clean slate. He's a monster and someone should do something about the fucker.

But, none of them bring it up, they let you sit with it while the movie plays, almost hoping maybe it'll distract you. It is your choice and you raved about how it's one of your favorites. And it does help a little bit because Gar talks about how much he likes the typography animations of the film and Jason finds Columbus hilarious and can't believe he's survived the apocalypse so far. Rachel's favorite is, of course, Wichita. The three of them talking through the movie do lighten your mood enough to laugh when Tallahassee is so determined to get a fucking twinkie.

As the rest of the movie plays on, you shelve your anger about Jerry. You aren't going to let him ruin a movie night watching one of your favorite movies with people you actually like. So, you shelve it and figure you can deal with the anger later when you’re alone. You put on a happy face and joke with everyone else about the movie.

After the movie, you don't stay to talk like you normally do, a routine more that you, Gar, and Jason have developed since Rachel is normally pretty tired after the movie. Instead, you head to your room and lock yourself inside. The movie ended and the floodgates of fury opened. You can hear the broadcast echoing n the back of your head, seeing Jerry's face every time you blink. You can't let him live like that, thinking he got away with it. He can't just get away with what he did to you. With the public seeing him in such a good eye, he might get another foster kid. He'll say you ran away and foster kids do have a habit of doing that and then they'll probably give him another one. Another kid to torture and probably kill. You can't let that happen. So, you’re going to hatch a plan. But before you can get the plan worked out, a knock on your door pull your attention. You pause for just a second before choosing to ignore the knock.

"Y/n? It's Gar." Gar says through the door, worry laced in his words.

"Go away, please." You say, feeling bad for telling him to go away but not being in the mood to talk about anything. You don't want anyone to talk you out of this and Gar has the ability to do that.

"Please, let me in." Gar says through the door, his voice is a quiet plea and you ignore him again. He just wants to make sure you’re okay and you know that but you'll be fine after tonight. "Y/n?" There's genuine concern in his voice this time and you can't leave him out there any longer.

You come to the door, opening it slowly. "I just want to be alone, Gar."

"Please talk to me." Gar keeps his stance outside the door. "I'm worried about you."

Worried.

You let out a breath, hanging your head before letting him in. You shut the door behind him while Gar looks around your room. It's really coming along now. Framed movie posters line every wall and two pairs of shoes sit on the foot of your bed. A few vinyls are sitting on a desk next to a black turn table.

"That newscast is messed up." Gar turns to face you, brows wrinkling together.

"Yeah, little do they know, right?" You scoff, feeling the anger bubble in your stomach.

"Seriously, are you okay?" Gar asks. "It's okay if you're not."

"I'm just...upset." You admit. "Just sucked, ya know? But I really don't want to talk about it."

Gar's brows are knitted together, the concern is almost radiating off of him. "Maybe you should. I'm worried about you." He says with honesty.

Your jaw clenches as you shake your head. "I'm not gonna do anything or go off the deep end, okay? I'm fine." You lie right through your teeth and you can feel the guilt coating your stomach like thick charcoal.

Gar huffs, getting frustrated because he knows you better than that now. You’re not okay because you always let him in your room. Always. "I don't believe you."

"Well, that sounds like a you problem." You quip so quickly, you didn't even think about talking to Gar and now you feel even worse about it. "Gar--"

"No, no it's fine." Gar scoffs. "My problem for caring, right?" He shrugs, a look of defeat-covered sadness fills his face.

"I didn't..." You pause. This is one of the reasons you didn't want him in here. You know how you get when you’re this kind of upset and that's mean. "I didn't mean it....like that. I just..." You let out a sigh of defeat. "Thank you for caring about me and trying to protect me but this isn't your problem and I am not gonna put that on you."

"You can." Gar says as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

"I know." You nod, taking a step towards him. "I don't want to, though." Your eyes scan over his face. You’re so scared of scarring him and ruining him. There's only so much one person can take and Gar has already been through so much and seen too much. It's not your job to bring him down the spiral with you. "I'm sorry, Gar."

Gar is really good at reading people. He's spent so much time alone or in silence around other people that reading them has become a second nature thing for him. He can just do it without even thinking about it and he's normally right. The way you’re talking to him, the way you’re dodging his eyes, the way you were faking a smile during a movie that's supposed to be your favorite, there is something serious going through your head. Gar has to think it's more than just flashbacks because you would tell him about it. You walk the tower together, every single night to make sure Jerry isn't around so you can sleep. You’ve popped into his room twice now due to a nightmare. Something is going on and he's scared for you.

"I just want you to tell me what's going on." Gar almost pleads with her.

"I just want to be alone." Your voice is defeated, almost begging him to understand. "Can we just talk tomorrow about it, please? I'll come to you, I will. But for tonight, I just want to be alone about it."

Gar nods and he gives up. He won't force you to talk even though he's worried. But, his biggest fear is you going after Jerry and you promised you wouldn't do that. So, he takes your word for it and accepts it.

"Promise?" Gar asks.

"I promise." You give him a soft and small cornered smile. "Thank you for being here for me. You're really sweet, Gar." You nod at him, your eyes filled of heartache.

"No problem." Gar gives you a tight-lipped smile.

You close the distance between you and wrap your arms tightly around his neck. He always smells like strawberries, the smell of home to you. Gar wraps his arms around you tightly, almost begging you not to let go. If you’re hugging him, it means you aren't going off the deep end and you aren't going to spiral alone. He's right there and he will always be here. And you feel warm and comfortable, holding him close to you. He's always so warm, he just radiates heat and you adore it. You swear you could never feel cold or alone again as long as Gar is near. But, right now, your bones are aching to be frozen. Your heart is pleading with you to let the cold shatter you into a million shards. Every part of you wants to be freezing because freezing is sometimes so much easier than being warm.

Freezing is being alone and tired. Freezing is the feeling right before the rage sets in. Freezing is the acceptance of the rage that will come and the actions to follow. Everyone talks about how anger is red and hot. But, for you, it's always been subzero temperatures because it's lonely being so angry. At least when you’re warm, it means you have someone in your corner, cheering you on, not letting the ice freeze over you when you’re drowning, trapping yourself in a lake. Being hot is allowing yourself to vent and get it all out but freezing keeps you in place. Pondering and pacing about every horrible thing you’ve been dealt, the anger is the only thing keeping your heart pumping and something about the cold is addictive like a menthol cigarette so you let him go.

"Thank you."

Gar nods. "Just, come to my room if you change your mind." Gar's hands linger on your back and you nod.

Gar breaks away and leaves you to yourself, a sense of guilt filling his stomach. It doesn't feel right but he doesn't know what else to do. He can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped even if that's the hardest pill to swallow. Gar is always the helper but you don't want his help. And he wonders if you’re too far gone to be helped right now. You’ve been through a lot and he wonders what is too much for one person. At some point, does someone just lose it and become something worse in the end? He doesn't want you to end up like that. But, he goes to his room and shuts the door, keeping it unlocked in case you change your mind, begging the universe to let you change your mind.

But you don't.

You decide you can wait until everyone goes to bed and then head to the comms lab. There you can look up Jerry, just like Jason and Gar did with you. You can probably get his address since this is Batman's house. Surely, the computers have access to a bunch of shit they shouldn't. From there, you can get a cab or an uber or walk if you have to, all the way to Jerry's and kick his ass.

In all honesty, you aren't completely sure if you’re ready but you have enough confidence and rage to shrug it off. If he knows you’re alive and kicking, that's almost enough. He has to know he did not win against you and it is not over. You want revenge and justice and you want him to never do that to anyone else again. And in your head, this plan will work. If he comes after you, he’ll have to fight the others Titans, too and he’ll lose.

You choose to ignore how Dick will react when he finds out. Dick has the codes for the whole building that monitors who comes and goes at any time. Surely, he'll know someone left and when he checks the camera, he'll see you. If he figures it out, so be it. You’re perfectly willing to take the chance, especially because you know Robin wasn't always a defensive fighter. You’ve seen your share of older Robin videos when Robin still would have been Dick and he would fight unprovoked sometimes. You’re sure he had a reason but the other guys didn't start the fight. To you, going to Jerry to pick a fight, is justified. So, you wait it out in your room.

It's been about three hours when you decide the coast is probably clear and safe for you to head out. You open your door and check the hallway, only seeing faint light from the city. You take that as a good enough sign everyone is in bed and you head to the comms lab. From there, you input the code which you find to be a bit funny that all of you have access to it. Getting Jerry's address was a lot easier than you expected it to be. It was in your files from the foster care system, even his Gotham address was in there which, apparently, he still owns the home.

Once you have the address in your phone, you head back to your room. You figured you'd get the address first and then get changed into something all black. This way, if you happened to wake someone up while getting the address, you could buy a little more time just to make sure no one was onto you. And it seemed to work. You changed without any issue and are on your way out, walking into the common area and almost to the elevator when a voice scares you.

"What're you doing?" He gives a scruffy laugh.

You wince, freezing and slowly turning around. "What are you doing?" You echo, crossing your arms.

Jason is seated at the snack bar, arms over his chest and a devilish grin tugging at his lips. "Asked you first." Jason quips.

"I'm not doing anything. Your turn."

Jason gets up from his seat at the barstools. He knew you'd be up to something. No one gets that mad about something and just lets it go during a two-hour movie. He actually thought you'd go to the training room and end up hurting yourself somehow so he waited and listened for you to come out of your room. He went straight for the kitchen only to see you not there and you weren't in the training room. So, he waited, curious as to what you were up to.

"Right." Jason nods, walking up to you. "Ya look like you're up to something." Jason looks you up and down, noticing the all-black attire, something you don't normally wear.

"You look like you're up to something." You raise, stumbling on your words. You have nothing. No ammunition in your arsenal for him. Jason isn't stupid or gullible.

"You're fucking bad at this, ya know that?"

"Bad at what?" You plays dumb.

"You're going to find him, aren't you?" His eyes narrow just slightly as his brows twitch up and you think he might actually be intrigued.

You pause and are you that obvious? Of course, you do look suspicious creeping around the tour at two in the morning when everyone else is asleep. You’re not in pajamas, you look like you’re going to rob someone. It's not a good look and you almost feels dumb for thinking you'd get away with it. But, why is Jason up then?

"You gonna stop me?" You challenge him.

Jason lets out a breath. "Nope." He shakes his head and you raise a brow at him. "Dick's gonna kill you if he finds out though."

"So, don't tell him." You snip.

"Let me come with you." Jason's eyes look you up and down. He doesn't want you to go alone. If it goes south, well, he'd rather not think about that.

"No." You chortle back. "This is my thing."

"Yeah? And if he has powers? You think of that?" Jason questions.

"I have powers. I can take him." You shake your head, your voice defensive but almost whiney.

"Come on." Jason sighs. "Just to make sure you don't get yourself killed or some shit."

You narrow your eyes. "Didn't realize you cared so much about my well-being." Sarcasm drips off your words and you almost think Jason has some other angle he’s trying to work here.

"You always gotta be such a bitch?" The last word has a touch of sarcasm to it.

"You always gotta be such an asshole?" You echo him in the same tone.

Jason gains the smallest of grins as he licks his lips. "I won't tell Dick."

You shake your head and it is a good idea to bring him. As much as you want to think you can take Jerry on your own, he has a point. For all you know, he does have powers and if his powers are better than yours or stronger, you'll need help. You haven't had the training and despite Jason not having powers, he's very good without them and can hold his own. Bringing him would at least probably make sure you don't get herself killed or recaptured.

"Fine." You sigh. "Okay."

"I'm gonna go get my suit." Jason’s voice fills with excitement as he spins on his heels, heading towards his room.

"Of course you are." You nod and take a seat at one of the chairs while you wait for Jason.

Jason doesn't take long, he was much quicker than you thought he would be. But when he comes out, you get to actually see him in the Robin suit for the first time in person. A part of you thinks he looks a little ridiculous, it's something about the cape. You never understood the cape. Hasn't Batman ever seen the Incredibles? But, there's another part that finds it pretty endearing. He holds himself higher in the suit, and it's not just the boots adding around three inches to his height. Jason is even daunting a genuine smile.

"What?" Jason asks, catching the look you’re giving him.

You move from your place at the counter and walk over to him. You get a better look at the detail and you’ve never seen a suit up close. It's kind of cool actually. You reach out and touch the cape, it doesn't feel like a standard, run-the-of-mill fancy fabric. It’s interesting and it’s a lot thicker than you thought but it doesn’t feel heavy.

"Made with zylon fibers." Jason gives this arrogant grin as you drop the cape.

"Mm." You hum. "Which is what?" You eye him carefully.

"Synthetic material." Jason explains and wiggles his brows. "Six times stronger than kevlar." He is beaming and it sends a rush of bubbles to your stomach.

"So, you're bulletproof?" You ask, matching the smirking expression on Jason's face.

"Pretty much, flame retardant, too." Jason's head is held high and there's this look in his eyes as if expecting you to be amazed and impressed.

You have to drop the teasing grin, turning more into amazement because of course you’re amazed by it. "That's..."

"Sick, right?"

"Yeah, actually. That's fucking awesome." You gush. You never understood the cape but now you do. It protects him and suddenly, you actually really like it. On him.

Jason laughs softly to himself, looking to ground and back to you. "Ready to kick some ass?"

"Hell yeah." You nod your head, quickly walking to the elevator.

"Here." Jason hands you a helmet as you both get into the elevator.

"Oh, you really have a bike?" You ask as you take the black full-face helmet from him.

"Why is that shocking?" Jason chortles.

You shrug. "Dunno, guess it makes sense. You're not like a bad driver, right?" You tease him.

"Fuck you." Jason scoffs. "Can you even drive?"

"Shut up." You huff. "No, I was held captive, remember?" Your eyes widen at him.

"I can teach you." Jason holds his head high, keeping his stare forward.

"Sounds illegal, Jason."

"Because what we're doing is legal."

"What if you just drive me around?" You give him a toothy smile.

"I'm not your chauffeur but nice try." Jason laughs and he knows if you asked, he'd drive you across the country.

"Awww." You pout your bottom lip at him but Jason just rolls his eyes.

"Real cute." Sarcasm drips from his words.

"I know." You give him a cheeky smile.

The rest of the elevator ride is quiet and you follow Jason to the parking garage. His bike is parked off in a corner with a cover. Jason rips the cover off with ease. The bike is a matte black Kawasaki sports bike. Of course, it's a sports bike, Jason wouldn't have a cruiser. Somehow, it's all very fitting and the very idea of Jason driving something like a Prius makes you almost laugh to yourself. The bike is better.

"Come on." Jason nods his head towards the bike as he swings a leg over, kicking up the kickstand.

You follow his lead, Jason tilting the bike slightly so you can actually get on. Once you’re situated, Jason looks over his shoulder at you and he has this boom in his chest. He doesn't let people on his bike but you’re different. You’re on a mission and he's not gonna let you get yourself killed. And he's in his Robin suit while you’re dressed in something of a suit yourself since it's not your usual wardrobe. Jason doesn't think he needs help kicking ass but the idea of having you with him? That's something he could definitely get used to. Maybe you'll make a good team.

"Ever been on a bike before?" Jason asks.

"Nope." You pop the 'p'.

"Alright, just hold on." Jason smirks at you and you deadpan.

"Ya know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say this is your way of hitting on me." Your mouth twitches up into a teasing grin.

"Good thing you know better." Jason quips, the smirk not budging. "Put on the helmet." Jason says as he slides his on, buckling it under his chin. You follow his lead, the helmet a little big on you but you’re not going to complain. A helmet is a helmet. "Hold on." Jason nods once at you before sliding the face shield down and turning back around. You put your own shield down and hold onto his waist, the cape bunched between the two of you.

Jason takes off and your grip tightens around him. You’ve never even known anyone who owns a motorcycle, let alone had the chance to be on one and it's a bit scary at first, especially with you not knowing how Jason is as a driver. But, after a few minutes, you get used to it and find it a bit fun. It's a little cold with the winds against you but the city zips by you and there's a thrill and a sense of freedom that comes with it. You get why he likes it.

You gave Jason the address in the elevator so his phone could give him the directions. The GPS instructs him through the com system in the helmets. Jerry's house is just outside of the city. Not too far from where Dick had found you and you get why you were dumped there. You looked like just another homeless kid and if you were dead, it's likely the police would have thought that's all you were. Another homeless kid, another runaway, another addict. Maybe they would have cared a little bit here but you grew up in Gotham where it was normal so you don't think it would have been a big deal. But, finding a body in suburbia? That's almost always some type of big thing. The city makes sense.

You reach Jerry's house in about twenty minutes but Jason parks in the alley. The alley behind the house is secluded, no cameras and some bushes that shield you and the bike. You get off the bike first and then Jason. While Jason pushes it towards a tree to hide it a bit more, you stand outside the fence leading into Jerry's yard.

It's a pale wooden picket fence with a gate. It's basic but not too basic like the Cleavers, not to raise suspicion probably. But it makes your blood pressure spike. You can't believe you’re back here and you could turn around, call it quits. This could end badly. It definitely could and your plan wasn't well thought out. What are you supposed to do? Walk inside and just go off? What if one of the neighbors hears? What happens if this gets you and Jason arrested? Does Dick have any pull here to get you both out of it? If he does, would he help you or just Jason? Maybe this was a bad idea.

"You alright?" Jason asks as he stands next to you.

You look to him, worry written across your face. "Yeah, uh, j-j-just can't believe I'm here."

Even in the dim light of the alley, Jason can see there's something wrong. "If you wanna go back, we can."

You’re seriously considering it but you’re so mad. The broadcast plays back in your head, them calling Jerry a fucking hero. He's a hero? You’re standing next to fucking Robin. You were welcomed into being a fucking Titan and Jerry, Jerry the abusive piece of shit is a hero. That sends your blood into a boil again and eases every what-if situation from your brain.

"No, I'm good." You nod up at Jason before walking up to the gate.

You unlock the gate, allowing Jason in first while you close the gate behind you. And then there’s the house. It's such a basic, small, family suburban home. It's a light red brick, white trim. One floor with a decent patio and patio furniture. It is so simple and so basic, no one would ever know what happens in that house and that irks you. It's not a creepy run-down place where everyone has some type of urban legend about him kidnapping kids. His house, his perfectly cut yard, him, it all seems so fucking normal and he might as well be a Cleaver.

"Gonna break down the door or some shit?" Jason asks just above a whisper.

You roll your eyes at him. "He's such an upstanding citizen, surely he has a key, right?" You ask, looking up to Jason.

"Lead the way then." Jason gestures a hand out in front of him.

You walk over to the door and you do find it a bit convenient that the fence Jerry chose is so high. Someone would need a step stool to actually see over the fence and he has a fair amount of trees as well. You push the idea of why he'd want so much privacy away as you go up to the door.

"If I were a fucking psycho, where would I hide a key?" You ask, mostly to yourself as you look around. "Flowerpot is too obvious and so is the rock and the mat." You mutter and Jason watches you, questioning if you'll actually find a key. "I don't want people to think I'm a psycho so I would have a key, in case I get locked out or something." You continue. "Somewhere people can get but not too...." You crouch beside the glass outdoor table and look under it. "Idiot." You scoff as you find a key duct taped under the table. You rip it from the table and pop back up. "Got it."

"Nice." Jason congratulates you. "How'd you know?"

"Spent a lot of time here, you figure out where people would hide shit when you literally have nothing else to do but watch them." You explain as you walk to the door, gently placing the key in the keyhole.

"Fair enough." Jason shrugs. "Hey, you're not gonna kill him, right?" Jason asks as you get the door unlocked. He doesn't want you to get killed but he doesn't want you to get that kind of blood on your hands. None of you are supposed to be killing people, even if they might deserve it and Jason's worried Dick might kick you out if you do. Jason has a bad feeling about it.

"Of course, not." You shake your head. "I hate him and want him dead but I won't give him that satisfaction either." You assure him.

You take a deep breath, hand on the handle of the door. You shake your head and open it quietly. You take a few steps inside, Jason right behind you. You can hear a TV coming from the front of the house and a faint light coming from in front of you. You walk quietly through the kitchen, the TV getting louder as you approach the open room with the light.

Jerry is sat in a Laz-E-Boy recliner watching some game show. He looks so comfortable and content. That's enough for you to lose all of your inhibitions. You walk from behind the wall and come right into plain view, something Jason did not expect you to do. He thought maybe you'd sneak up on him but this is bold and that's when he starts to worry that you'll actually lose it. So, he walks up behind you.

You have a harsh stare on Jerry as he jumps slightly in his seat, the appearance of two people in the house catching him off guard. You know it's because he's too comfortable with where he is. No one expects anything, why would he be the one on guard? Meanwhile, you’ve been living in a constant state of paranoia.

"Y/n?" Jerry says your name and it sounds like nails on a chalkboard coming from him. But all you do is stare at him, fighting off the warming of your hands. He can't know he won.

He stands up from his recliner and makes the short walk over to you, expecting you to back away in fear but you don't. You hold yourself tall, not breaking eye contact with the stare that could kill. Jason takes a step forward as if it were an instinct, almost waiting for Jerry to do something, ready for Jason to not let him lay a hand on you. Jerry ignores him and instead, gains a sinister smile as he looks down to you.

"You're back." His voice is almost cocky like he knew that if you were alive somewhere, you'd show back up and you can't quite figure out why he would ever think that. You'd rather be on the streets. It's not like you weren't on the streets before. "I thought you were dead." He scoffs like it's some sort of taunt, a warning maybe.

Maybe he would kill you now if given the chance. Maybe that was his intention. You can't fucking tell what the point of it is. What you do know, is that you’re fucking done looking at his smug face.

"Surprise, bitch!" You yell before grabbing his head and bringing it down, kneeing him in the face in one quick motion.

Jason takes a step back, allowing you to just go at it. Jerry stumbles and you don't take a second to let him breathe. You’re quick to start landing punches and kicks, using all of your strength. You grab the collar of his shirt and drag him to the ground before punching his face as hard as you can. Punch after punch lands and you can't figure out who you are or what you’re doing now. Everything has turned red. Flashes of what he did to you cross your eyes with every blink. Everything comes back in a tidal wave, pulling you under so far you can't focus on anything besides making sure he never gets up to do that to you again. But at some point, it starts to look concerning from where Jason is standing.

You’re going to kill him if he doesn't stop you. Jerry had no chance which, if Jason wants to be honest, is a bit surprising. You haven't been training long and you’re not great at it. You have a lot of fight though, he'll give you that but he never thought you'd hold your own, not yet anyway. Jason always felt you had a long way to go and so did Dick. But, apparently, the rage and adrenaline flooding you is enough to fill the gaps of your fighting technique and it's scaring him a little. He won't let you kill him.

Jason moves behind you, bending over and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you off of him. You fight Jason as hard as you can but Jason is still much stronger than you are. You punch and kick the air, tears wetting your cheeks, something you hadn't even noticed.

"Let me go!" You wiggle around but Jason just wraps his arms tighter, falling to the floor with you.

"You're gonna fucking kill him." Jason says in your ear. "Stop." Jason holds you against his chest. He will not let you kill him as much Jason wants to see him dead. You don't deserve to live with his blood on your hands. He won't let you.

"I don't fucking care!" Your voice nearly cracks as you fight him. Everything is red and blurry. You hate him and you aren't done yet. He tortured you for a year. You want a few more punches in. You don't care that he's not moving.

"Fucking stop!" Jason yells at you. "You're not fucking killing him, alright? And I'm not letting you go until you stop." His voice comes back down and his grip is still tight.

"He doesn't deserve to live!" The yell that comes from you is more of a sob. "He was gonna kill me!"

"I know." Jason's voice is understanding but stern. "You can't kill him. That's what he wants you to do. You wanna be like him?"

You pause for a second, trying to regain your breath. Your heart thunders in your chest while your stomach burns. You don't want to be like him but you hate him so much. Jerry stole so much from you and he's so content with himself. It's not fucking fair and how are you supposed to live knowing that? But, with Jason holding you still, you get a look at Jerry for the first time without tears clouding your vision. He's covered in blood. There's blood coming from his nose and his mouth, red marks smothering his face. He's unconscious and you know Jason is right. You can't kill him.

"Okay." You suck in a shaky breath, a hiccup following. "Okay."

"I will drag you outta here kicking and screaming if you go again, alright?" Jason asks before loosening his grip.

"Okay." You nod, swallowing the hard lump in your throat. You can't kill him but you do need to check something. "Stay." You mutter to him, your legs weak as you get up, nearly tripping over Jason.

"Where the fuck are you--"

"I'll be back." You start your walk down a hallway off the living room, almost zombie-like.

Jason sits on the floor, staring at Jerry. He really hates this fucker, too. But he knows you're gonna have to get out of here soon. He doesn't think you were too loud and he checks the windows, not seeing any of the neighbors' lights turned on. But, you can't spend too much time just in case. So, he ties Jerry up with some rope he brought and gags him, just to make sure he doesn't come to and escape while Jason grabs you.

Jason walks down the hall and spots you standing outside of a door with several locks going up to the doorframe. You’re just standing there, not moving or saying anything. It doesn't take a mastermind to figure out that's the door to the basement. That's the only reason there would be so many locks. The guy was prepared for you, or anyone, to try and break out. Jason knows why you never could now. All those locks, what looks to be a thick door. You never would have had the strength and it breaks his heart.

"We gotta get outta here, Y/n." Jason says from behind you, there's an urgency to his voice.

"Door is locked." You mutter, almost as if you’re in a haze.

"Yeah." Jason agrees and he's watching you carefully, not sure what you’re going to do next.

"It wouldn't be locked if he didn't have a replacement." You shake your head, the fury you felt just seconds ago fades knowing what you'll find in that basement.

Jason's heart sinks into his stomach. He never thought you'd find someone else and he hopes you’re wrong. But, just in case you’re not, he doesn't fight you when you reach for the locks with bloody and shaky hands. You unlock six lock and open the door with hesitance. A single lightbulb illuminates the landing at the bottom of the stairs. You remember sitting there for hours before Jerry finally chained you up.

You'd run up the stairs at full speed, running into the door. It never worked and it usually led to you falling down at least a few stairs. It's nightmare fuel. But, you take a deep breath and forces yourself to walk down the stairs. Jason looks over his shoulder, making sure Jerry isn't behind you and he follows you carefully.

You’re steady with your steps as you reach the bottom. The basement is the exact same how you remember it. Dingy and grey, bad lighting, and nothing for any source of entertainment. There's no sign of food or water. All there is Jerry's experiment table with a medicine cabinet. He keeps sedatives in there from what you remember. Your bones ache as you look around until you spot the dentist-style chair you spent so much time in. But it's not empty.

"Oh, fuck." Jason sighs behind you, seeing a boy chained to the chair.

"You should call Dick." You say, your voice flat.

"He's gonna be pissed. Are you sure?" Jason looks to you and he knows it's the right thing to do but he won't call if you’re not sure.

"Yeah, he'll know what to do." You nod your head as you make your way to the boy.

Jason pauses for a second and watches you. It's great that you came and found this kid but he wonders how bad it's gonna mess you up. It'd mess anyone up, returning to the place of horrors to find someone else in their place. But, Jason doesn't sit on it, he runs up the stairs to call Dick and check on Jerry.

You approach the boy who can't be more than ten. You’re a little relieved looking at him. His cheeks are still pudgy and he doesn't seem to have any bruises or swelling. But the boy is scared, jerking away from you to the best of his ability.

"Hey, I-I-I'm Y/n." You whisper to him. "I'm not gonna hurt you." You take one of the chains in your hands, using the other to melt the chain away from where it had him connected to the ground. Once the boy is freed, he's almost too scared to move. "Did he hurt you?" You ask.

"N-no." The boy's voice is small.

"Okay." You offer him a small but warm smile. "We're gonna get you out of here, okay?" The boy shakes his head. "My friend is upstairs and he's calling another one to help. Do you have parents?" You ask. The boy nods. "Do you know where they are?"

"M-my mom's...." The boy struggles for words, voice shaking. "In the hospital."

"Foster care until she's better?" You ask and the boy nods. "Okay, um...I used to live here, too." You tell him. "It's pretty scary but then my friends saved me. He's not gonna hurt you, okay?"

"Where is he?" The boy asks.

"Upstairs." You answer plainly and you catch the boy glancing to your hands. You finally realize they're covered in blood, seeing a few deep cuts on your knuckles. "It's just mine, I'm okay." You partially lie to him. "Are you from here?" The boy nods again. "I'm from Gotham. Heard of it?"

"Batman is from there." The boy says.

"Yeah," You give him a smile. "Pretty cool, right? Batman and Robin fighting bad guys." You see a faint smile pull at his lips. "Robin is upstairs, that's who my friend is."

"Your friend is Robin?"

"Mhm." You hum. "Pretty cool, right?" You ask him and he nods again, this time with a little more energy. "Don't tell anyone, but he's kind of twerp." You try to lighten the mood and the boy laughs faintly. "His cape is bulletproof though so I guess that makes up for it."

"It's bulletproof?" The boy's voice picks up just slightly.

"I know right, he just told me though and it's fireproof."

"That's cool."

"Right? It's pretty fancy."

"Why don't you have a suit?"

"I'm not really a hero yet but maybe I can talk to his guy about it one day." You scrunch your nose.

After a few more minutes of conversation with the boy, you mostly trying to keep him distracted, Dick shows up. He is pissed, so beyond pissed in fact, he almost doesn't look mad. He can't believe you and Jason really snuck out of the tower on your own and went to hunt down Jerry. Behind his back. You both have actually lost your minds. Dick doesn't know what he's supposed to do with the two of you. You can't do this, this is not what the Titans do. This was just reckless. Sure, you’re new and still filled with unresolved trauma, but Jason? He expects so much more from him.

Jason directs Dick into the basement after Dick sees Jerry. Dick just held the bridge of his nose while Jason explained what happened. He really cannot believe this but he just tells Jason to make sure Jerry doesn't go anywhere while he goes to get you. Dick walks down into the basement and he gets a sense of what you went through. This was the only thing you saw for an entire year. The only person you saw was Jerry and it sheds some light on how you ended up here right now. Not fully because Jason didn't get much chance to explain what lead you on a mission tonight of all nights.

But, Dick shelves it for the time being as he sees you with a boy. This fucker had another kid trapped. It's unbelievable and Dick should have done something about him himself. It always should have been your fight but had Dick known there was another kid, he would have done it. This shouldn't have had to fall onto your shoulders.

"That's my other friend, who's friends with Robin." You tell the boy as Dick approaches.

"I'm gonna take over, is that alright?" Dick asks the boy and smiles kindly at him.

"He's the one that found me and saved me. You can trust him." You give the boy a reassuring smile. And the boy gives you a nod.

Dick pulls you aside. "Are you okay?" Dick asks, seeing the blood on your hands.

You nod. "Yeah, I think it's mostly Jerry's." You whisper to him, not making eye contact.

"Okay, good." Dick nods with a hand on his hip. "Home. Now." Dick says through gritted teeth. "I will deal with the both of you when I get back." Dick shoos you upstairs and you wave at the boy before darting up the stairs.

You find Jason in the living room with Jerry still. You find it a little hard to look at Jason and Jerry. Jerry is a little too bloody and you’re thankful Jason pulled you off of him. You shouldn't kill him and you don't actually want to. Had Jason not been there, you’re afraid you wouldn't have been able to stop. You hope you would have but you’re not sure. But, Jason also witnessed all of that and that's the embarrassing part of it.

"Let's go." You ignore Jerry, walking past Jason and heading to the back door.

Jason is right on your heels, following you outside. He hates that he had to call Dick for this but Jason doesn't know how to handle another victim. You sure as shit shouldn't have to. Dick could at least, probably, clean up the mess. He was a detective and he is, legally, Bruce Wayne's son. Jason is sure Dick won't have issues with this but if it were just Jason and you, that might be an issue. He knows he had to but he still hates it.

"Hey." Jason calls after you as you open the gate but you ignore him. "Y/n." Jason continues as you reach the bike.

"Yeah." You say, turning to face him.

"You alright? That was nuts." Jason's words have almost a touch of hesitance.

"Peachy."

"Don't bullshit me." Jason scoffs.

You don’t ignore him. You never ignore him and you have a distant look in your eyes. He knows you’re not okay and you shouldn’t be after that.

You shake your head. "I don't fucking know, alright?" You grab the helmet from the ground. "Dick's pissed and he'll probably kick me out, ya know? But...Jerry is just..." You scrunch your nose as if fighting off something between fury and agony. "A monster."

Jason nods, walking up to you. "Yeah, he's a piece of dog shit. Doesn't deserve shit from anyone." Jason agrees with you. "Do you feel better?"

You shake your head weakly this time. "No." You finally make eye contact with him. "Not really."

"You should." Jason states. "He deserved it."

"I dunno." You scoff, your eyes feeling heavy as the adrenaline starts to crash. "I'm just..." You pause, looking away from him. "I'm so...pissed, I guess? But then I'm sad and upset and then I get mad again." You rolls your shoulders. "Like all I wanna do is lose my fucking mind over it but then I can't because I have to have some sort of control. Like I can't just take it out, it's bottling up over and over. And this didn't help the way I thought it would because it still fucking happened to me." You choke down a cry. "It's fucking heavy and it still fucking happened and....it didn't fucking help."

Jason looks to the ground, feeling sad for you. He's never been through anything like this. You have similar trauma from Gotham but this, this is uncharted. He can't imagine what you’ve gone through. Just the glimpse tonight tells him it was, without a doubt, torture. But he wants to help because he cares about you. Jason cares more about you than he has about anyone else. You deserve better.

He gestures a hand, making a fist at you to signal for you to give him the helmet. You hand it over. "Take it out on me." Jason offers, switching the helmet from his right hand to his left. "And put it on me." His words are filled of ease as if it were the easiest thing he's ever said.

"What?" You furrow your brows at him, your eyes scanning over his face.

"Take it out on me. You're fucking pissed about it? Spar with me, I'll go easy on you so you can get all that shit out. You're fucking sad about it? Rant to me until you feel better." Jason looks to the ground and then back to you. "I'll carry your shit for you, alright?"

"W-why?"

Jason doesn't tell people how he feels, not usually. It makes him uncomfortable. It puts too much pressure on him. It makes him too exposed to the elements of being broken. He cares about you and he knows you’re not that dense. He doesn't have to tell you.

Jason shrugs. "Just trying to help."

You wipe your face with your shoulder, feeling a sad smile come to your face. "That's awfully nice of you, Jay."

Jason finds the nickname endearing coming from you. "I can be nice."

"Sometimes." You joke softly. "Um...thanks for...coming with." Your smile falls as your brows furrow. "And for not letting me kill him."

Jason's smile is warm. "Anytime." The warmth in Jason's chest is nice, comforting even and something he hasn't felt, ever. "Let me see your hand." Jason sticks out his hand as he closes the small distance between you but you just quirk a brow at him. "Your hands are covered in blood, let me see how bad it is, damn."

You laugh softly, putting your right hand in his. "Starting to hurt a little." You mutter as you pull out your phone, shining the flashlight on your hand.

"You brought your phone?" Jason laughs. "Dick could have tracked that." Jason shakes his head, examining your hand. "Shit's gonna hurt in the morning."

"Yeah, pretty sure I got his teeth in a few punches."

"No fucking shit." Jason chortles, seeing the cuts across your hand. "You gotta clean this when we get back."

"Yeah, that'll be fun." You scoff. "Ready to get out of here?" You ask.

Jason drops your hand, giving you the helmet back. "Don't get blood on my suit." He smirks at you, waking just past you to grab his own helmet.

"I'll try my best." You mock, waiting for him to mount the bike. "Bulletproof, fireproof, but what? Blood stains are where the line is drawn?"

"No, I just don't that dickweed's blood on my suit." Jason chortles.

"Mhm." You follow his lead, getting on the bike as he leans it. "Sure, that's it."

"Shut up and put the damn helmet on." Jason shakes his head, putting his own helmet on. You laugh, putting the helmet on and sliding the face shield down before leaning forward and wrapping your arms around his waist. "Ready?" He asks, barely looking over his shoulder and he feels you nod against his back before turning around and sliding his face shield down and taking off.

Back at the tower, you and Jason go your separate ways for a few minutes. You go into the bathroom to start cleaning up your hands and Jason goes off to his room to change out of his suit. While you get the supplies, you’re faced with some confusing feelings.

Jason is a lot of fun to flirt with and he's really cute. You actually like his arrogance and snarkiness. He's tough and smart, much smarter than people wanna give him credit for but you also know he's dangerous. He's rough around the edges and a bit of a wild child. Jason is just as fucked up as you are and you find a sense of comfort in that. He chooses to be angry and have a bit more violence to himself. He can be kind of soft if the moment fits, but he likes to fight. And for you, it's comforting because that's the only thing you want to do lately. Fight and be angry. It's nice to know you’re not alone in that. And he makes you feel safe and understood without even trying. But, you do also find a sense of comfort in Gar.

Gar never would have let you go tonight. He would have been able to talk you out of it. Jason didn't even really try. Gar, despite his trauma, chooses to be kind and gentle. It's a foreign concept to you. To choose the opposite of what you’re dealt. But there is something refreshing in it. There's something refreshing in his optimism even if his optimism seems a little forced like maybe that's his way of dealing with his trauma. You worry Gar pushes it all away so far it'll snap back like a rubberband one day. But Gar does it anyway and he's also very cute and smart and funny. You like the same movies and same tv shows. There are common interests. For you, you like them both for different reasons. So, maybe your best bet is to keep those feelings to yourself. You don't want to ruin anything between the three of you.

You start the water and stick your hands underneath, stinging and burning consuming your hands. You hiss as you try to wash the cuts.

"Need help?" Jason asks from the doorway, watching you struggle to keep your hands under the water.

"Fucking please. This shit hurts and I need two hands." You groan which makes Jason laugh as he walks in.

"Lemme see." Jason holds out his hands for yours.

He looks over the cuts on your hands, now with less blood and better lighting. Bloody and bruised knuckles aren't new to him. He swears there was a point where they were always bruised. He saw purple skin across his hands more than he saw his normal skin tone. Since, being Robin though, the gloves take most of the blows. He doesn't miss it, the ache of bruises and scratching from healing scabs. But, he at least knows how to deal with it.

Jason grabs the antiseptic wipes from the counter that you had already taken out and takes your left hand in his. He doesn't warn you, he just goes right for it and starts cleaning the cuts gently. You hiss, swearing under your breath as the stinging consumes the cut.

"Sorry." Jason offers an apologetic glance as he continues. "They aren't that bad, the cuts." Jason explains.

"Hurt like a bitch though."

"Because you beat the shit out of someone." Jason chuckles. "It happens."

"Mhm." You hum, watching him carefully.

Gentle is not a word you would use to describe Jason Todd. In fact, in the month and a half you’ve been here, you don't think you’ve ever seen him actually be gentle about anything. But, he is now and maybe that's why you’re so infatuated with him sometimes. He's not as two-dimensional as he comes across. There's a lot about him that's just some façade, maybe to push people away so he doesn't get hurt. After what he's been through, you sympathize with that. But, you wish he'd drop the act a little. It's fun, sure, but you want to know more about him and find out what really goes on inside that head of his.

"Tell me something about you." You say, keeping your eyes on your hands as Jason switches to the clean the other one.

"Like what?" He asks, his voice flat.

You shrug. "Dunno, something though. Like, something not a lot of people know about you."

Jason pauses, keeping your hand in his as he looks to you, expecting you to have some type of teasing expression but you don't. Your eyes hold curiosity and a sense of calmness. This isn't normally how you communicate. It's just banter and flirting but you seem genuine now. It makes him shift.

"Why?"

"Because." You shrug again as you look at him. "Curious, I guess. I won't tell anyone." Your eyes widen, this time a bit teasing. "I'll tell you something."

"No." Jason shakes his head, not having the game.

Letting people close? Not his strong suit. To him, there's no reason to tell you. What you're doing is fun. He's having a great time and he doesn't wanna ruin it by getting a little too real with you. The trauma is almost easier to talk about it because you’ve been through it. But talking about the things that make Jason, Jason, the stuff underneath the trauma, that's the hard shit. That's the shit no one can just know. The trauma is public information. It's not that easy to just talk about.

"What're you so afraid of?" You ask, the lack of teasing in your voice is almost making Jason uncomfortable.

"I'm not afraid of anything." Jason snarks, lying to himself.

"Hmm." You hum. "We're all afraid of something, Jay." There's that nickname again. "Just, I dunno, tell me something real about you."

You make it so tempting. It's the way you smile at him where he knows you’re being serious but the very corner of the right side of your mouth twitches into a grin, just slightly. It's a kind of taunt thing you do with him when you’re trying not to and it makes his stomach flip like he's on a rollercoaster. Something in the way your hand lays gently in his and the way you let him in during vulnerable moments, makes him want to tell you.

Jason sighs, going back to cleaning your hand. "If you tell anyone, I'll kick your ass." Jason warns and you smile, crossing your heart with your free hand. "You know the story. Mom's a smack addict, dad's a dumbass who got himself killed, uncle same shit." Jason explains and you nod even though he can't see you. "Foster care, the streets, juvie."

"Lifting cars?" You ask.

"Amongst other shit, yeah." Jason nods, tossing the antiseptic wipe into the trash and grabbing a roll of gauze from beside you. "I found this school when I was on the streets and slept in the rafters of the auditorium." Jason talks and he gains this gentle smile, one of fondness. He shrugs a shoulder. "I'd watch the theater kids at night when they'd have a show." Jason pauses. "Got pretty into it."

Your heart warms with him talking. The thought of Jason Todd being a theater nerd? Amazing, funny, endearing. Explains why he's so dramatic. It's not what you expected in the best way. That's the kind of real shit you want to know about him. No one would have ever guessed that's his thing and you think it's adorable.

"Huh." You hum as Jason finishes wrapping your left hand. "Didn't peg you for a theater kid."

"Yeah, used to think they were the losers." Jason chuckles, taking your other hand in his. "Now, I wear a mask and a cape."

"That's kind of cute, actually."

"Shut up." Jason groans, thinking you’re messing with him.

"No, I'm serious. Honest, it's cute. Jason Todd, a soft spot for theater. I dunno, I think it's cute."

Jason's eyes narrow as he looks up to you, not sure if he should believe you. But you have soft eyes as you look at him. And your smile is so wide he finds it hard not to believe you. Maybe you were a theater kid and that's your big secret.

"What about you?" Jason asks. "I told you mine. You tell me yours."

"Okay, but you can't laugh." You don't fight him. It's only fair. Jason mimics you crossing your heart, a teasing smile on his face as he licks his lips. You roll your eyes. "I love romance movies."

Jason huffs, trying not to chuckle. "Sorry, sorry." Jason snickers. "You don't seem the type. Your extensive knowledge of horror movies and shit."

You shrug one of your shoulders letting out a sigh. "I love horror movies, man." You laugh. "But, I like romance movies. Ya know, where the guy gets the girl and he holds a boom box over his head. Or throws a fist in the air. I guess, The Breakfast Club isn't romance but I count it. Easy A though with all of the tropes, 13 Going On 30 during the photoshoot scene, How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days with Somebody Like You playing in the background." You list some of your favorites. "I also like sad ones, though. I cry every time."

"Yeah?" Jason puts your wrapped hand down, raising his brows at you and instead of stepping away, he keeps the close distance to you. "Why?"

"Dunno." You shrug once more. "I just do. Like I cry every time I watch A Walk To Remember. 'I'm sorry she didn't get her miracle. She did, it was you." You quote the movie. "I ball my eyes out, every single time. Um, the Notebook, of course. Me Before You, I expect him to live every time and every time he dies. The Time Traveler's Wife, PS I Love You when she gets the last letter." You let out a sharp breath. "Shit, I always expect a different ending, but it's all the same and I cry."

Turns out, you're both full of surprises. Jason never would have thought you liked romance films. It's more than your taste for horror, a lot of people like a lot of different genres of movies. It's also because of your attitude. Rom-coms don't seem your thing, you always seemed more of an action or dystopian person to Jason. But, you have a soft side.

"Full of surprises, huh?" Jason chuckles softly.

"Guess so.” There’s a shy smile pulling at your lips and you feel warmer right now with him, than you have in a long time. “What else?" You ask.

"I read." Jason says, finding it easier to talk now. "I'll read pretty much anything. Always liked it but got a bit more into it on the streets. Libraries are free."

"Didn't peg you for a reader, either." Your smile is sweet.

"You a reader?"

You shake your head. "Nah, the act of reading kind of makes me tired." Your eyes widen with annoyance at yourself. "I wish I was, though. My mom used to read me as a kid and that was fine but I try to read and my brain decides I should sleep.” You laugh softly at yourself. You look down, tilting your head to the right. "Alright," You breathe out, looking back to him. "Got any more questions?" You give him a teasing grin, quickly raising your brows at him.

Jason hums and he could ask a million questions. He's liking getting to know you like this but Gar is also his friend. You seem kind of into him, a little at least. As much as he'd like to know what other hobbies keep you entertained or what your favorite memory is, favorite movie, any hidden talents you had, he's thinking maybe he should ask about Gar before this goes anywhere else. Getting to know you more without knowing what your intentions are, freaks him out a little. Why get close if you'll leave? So, he matches the grin and decides to play the game.

"Yeah, actually." Jason lets out a sharp breath, leaning forward. He places a hand on either side of your thighs, resting his hands on the cool countertop, his face just inches from yours. You eye him carefully, your heart banging against your ribs. "What's up with you and Gar?"

You let out a huff, a taunting smirk on your face. "Hmmm." You hum, trying to figure out his angle here. "Why?" You ask, tilting your head to the right.

Jason mimics your action, shrugging slightly. "Can't be curious?"

"You can." You state, trying to ignore the beating of your heart and swirling in your stomach.

"Well?" Jason asks.

You put your hands over his and get just an inch closer to him, playing his game. "Jealous?" You narrow your eyes at him slightly and Jason's heart bounces into his stomach.

The answer is yes. If there's something going on, yes, he's jealous. But, he's not so jealous that it would get in the way of his friendship with Gar or whatever is going on between him and you. That's petty and dumb, Jason has bigger issues than jealousy over a girl. But, there is a tinge of jealousy in his stomach at the thought of you with Gar instead of him. However, he doesn't want to give you that satisfaction. He can tell by the way you asked and the cornered grin you’re giving him, you expect him to say yes. And he won't.

Jason's voice is low, brows raised. "You fucking wish."

You laugh softly, feeling your cheeks burn. Maybe you do want him to be jealous but that sounds like a lot of drama that would be tired and boring. But, you also don't have a witty comeback as much as you want to. No one's ever been able to leave you lost for words but Jason does. He's so quick and smart that it leaves you tongue-tied. He's playing this round-and-round game so long, he's basically an expert. It's fun, though.

Your eyes narrow at him, searching for something to tease him with but you’ve got nothing. You’ve never noticed before but his eyes are really pretty. They're green, not dark green or hazel. They're a muted shade of something like a sea green with a yellow in the center. For a second, you think you could get lost in them like wandering through a forest with no destination or map, just the sun guiding the way. And he has a few dark freckles scattered haphazardly about his face that you want to connect like constellations. He's cute, that was your first impression. Cute. But, taking a second to really look at him, he's kind of beautiful in a tragic kind of way.

"And if I did?" You ask, your brows raising, licking your lips and Jason gives this forced chuckle. The game is being played and neither of you are backing down, so he closes the distance just a bit more, your noses almost touching as Jason eyes your lips.

"Do you?" Jason asks.

His voice has this taunting sense to it, like he's teasing you, about to make fun of you. But there's this hint of curiosity with it and maybe even a want in the tone. Maybe he wants you to wish he were jealous. Maybe that'd make the whole thing easier. You make the move for him.

You rest your forehead against his, Jason's heart about to beat out of his chest and he's never felt this with someone before. He feels dizzy around you, his stomach this bubbly mess. He's excited to see you every single morning. There's this rush that almost, just almost, feels like putting on the Robin suit but different. He gets to be so unapologetically himself with you and that's not something he has ever felt before.

Your nose brushes his and every part of you is ready to dive into him. You feel electrified with him. Nothing about the trauma even matters with him because he's been through it. His mom, his dad, he fucking gets it and you don't have to hide or protect him from it. Jason is this unmovable force that makes your bones ache at the core. You’re trapped in a rain storm but when Jason is around, he's the tunnel you get to drive under. The tunnel that quiets everything around you even when it's still pouring. He makes you feel alive again.

"Maybe." Your voice is a whisper, you’re not ready to commit to closing this. It can't be on you.

The game isn’t so much a game anymore, not right now because you’re too close for that now. You’re trapped with bated breath between you, waiting for the other to finally commit to it. You want him to commit to it so badly you can hardly even breathe. There’s just something about Jason to you that you can’t explain. And, Jason, he wants you.

His lips brush yours and there's hesitance it in. If he kisses you, the game ends. Something will come of this. It might be good and it might be bad. But something will have to come of it. You'll have some sort of discussion about it and he wants you so bad but he wants you to want him, too. So, his lips brush yours and he’s just about to ready to say fuck it and close the distance. And maybe you’ll kiss him back.

"What the fuck?" An exasperated voice pulls yours and Jason's attention towards the door where Dick is standing with his hands on his hips looking absolutely exhausted and pissed and fed the fuck up.

You jerk away, pulling your hands into your lap while Jason quickly moves away from you, his cheeks turning a cherry red. Both of your lips are burning, as if you'd just committed to something that never even happened. It feels like you were hiding some dirty little secret when Dick walked in. You weren't doing anything different than what you normally do but it still felt different. A bit more vulnerable, a bit more hesitant. It felt different and Dick interrupted it. Neither of you even know if the other would go through with it. You hope the other would though.

"Seriously? You nearly kill someone and then you..." Dick gestures at the two of you, trying to figure out what he walked in on. This is not where he saw this going. "Are doing whatever you're doing in here."

"W-we weren't doing anything." You glance between Dick and Jason. It's not a lie even if it feels like one.

Dick shakes his head. No one prepared him to handle this. No one prepared him to handle people who apparently try to kill someone and then have a deep moment later. What is he supposed to do with that? First training behind his back and now this. The two common denominators in this have been you and Jason. In his eyes, Jason must be the bad influence because you’re traumatized and Jason is probably encouraging the bad behavior. He can't let you two just do whatever you want when you want. Someone's going to get killed and he's thinking the two of you together would be the cause.

"This," Dick waves an open hand between the two of you. "Whatever that is, no." Dick says and Jason and you look at him with confusion. Jason shifts his weight to his right foot, putting a hand on his hip while you shake your head as if to be processing what's going on. "You two, no."

"Picking my friends now, huh?" Jason scoffs, annoyance raging from his bones.

"Looked a bit more than that, didn't it?" Dick fires back.

"Well, this is awkward." You huff, more to yourself. "We're friends, Dick." You groan. "I know, hard for you to grasp giving your history, but guys and girls can be friends." Dick's mouth moves as he's trying to figure out what you mean. "Oh, Rachel told me that you hooked up with two of your friends and it seems you still have a thing for both of them. But, one left and the other is dating some other guy who was also your friend and a Titan." You explain, keeping your voice nonchalant and Jason nearly bursts into a fit of laughter watching Dick's face turn red.

"Okay, no, that's not--" Dick shakes his head cutting himself off. "This isn't about me."

"It could be. We could work through your parental problems and really get to the root of the problem because you might have commitment issues. That's what it sounds like." You explain while nodding your head, Jason snickering to the side not able to control himself. Dick's gonna kill you.

"We're not talking about me." Dick groans, growing more annoyed. He has got to do a better job at keeping his private life, private. "Stop deflecting."

"She's very good at it." Jason adds in.

"I think that's all our strong suits, to be fair. Notice that he turned it back to me. Deflecting." You say to Jason.

"No, we're not doing this. I'm not playing your game." Dick sighs. He wants nothing more than to go to bed. He didn't think he signed up to actually parent the new Titans. He almost feels bad for what he put Bruce through. "You're both in deep shit." Dick's voice goes stern again and you accept you can't get out of this one as much as you tried. "I expect more from you." Dick turns his anger onto Jason.

Jason's jaw nearly drops as his eyes widen. How the hell is Dick blaming him? "What?" Jason nearly yells, the word coming out as a scoff.

"You didn't do anything to stop her, did you? You could have come to get me but you didn't." Dick points full blame on Jason and you’re sitting there almost certain this is a weirdly vivid dream. He can't be serious. "You're the oldest, you know better."

"Are you fucking serious?" Jason huffs. "I made sure she didn't kill the fuckface." Jason tries to defend himself.

"You should have come to get me." Dick insists.

"Right," You start, your voice slow as you keep glancing between the two of them. "You're blaming Jason?" You almost laugh at how stupid that it is.

"Let me guess, you take full responsibility because it was your idea and you manipulated him, right?" Dick throws your previous discussion back in your face. "You wanna be Robin again?" Dick turns his attention back to Jason. "Stop fucking up."

You watch the look on Jason's face. His face drops, for just a split second before turning into pure rage. You understand that Dick should be mad at you both, absolutely. You did something stupid and dangerous. But, throwing Robin at Jason's face doesn't sit right with you. You don't know the story but it's pretty obvious being Robin is something that means a lot to Jason. You don't throw something like that in someone's face, not like that.

Jason walks up to Dick, standing toe-to-toe with him. "You don't fucking decide if I'm Robin or not. I'm the new Robin." Jason says pointing to himself, not looking all that intimidating having to physically look up to Dick. "You're just a washed-up version of a hero."

"Stand down." Dick keeps his voice level with Jason, not giving in to him.

"Jason tried to stop me." You speak up from your spot on the counter, not wanting to see where this fight is about to go. Jason will not stand down and you don't think Dick will either. If you didn't know any better, you would think they were actually brothers.

Jason turns quickly to look back at you. He's surprised. He did not try to stop you. He basically encouraged you to go. He drove you there and didn't step in until it started to look bad enough. Jason knows the odds of Dick kicking him from the Titans are low because of Bruce but you? You’re still new and if you cause more trouble than you’re worth, Jason thinks he might. Deep down, he knows Dick wouldn't but somewhere in his head, he's afraid Dick would and you take the blame anyway.

"He was getting a snack from the kitchen when I was trying to sneak out." You lie. "He-he, uh, he figured out what I was gonna do. He tried to stop me, convince me to go back to bed or he'd come get you. I promised him I wouldn't do anything."

You said you'd never rat Jason or Gar out which makes Dick find it hard to believe that happened. He does also know Jason and Jason isn't one to step away from a fight. Jason talking you out of it seems incredibly unlikely but Dick can't prove it at this point in time.

"Why'd he drive you then?" Dick challenges trying to find a hole in your story.

"I told him I'd be gone before he could get you. I was going regardless. So, instead of me getting into a strange car at two in the morning, he said he'd drive me as long as I didn't do anything. He only wore the Robin suit as a safety measure." You lie through your teeth.

You haven't always been a good liar but it was something you needed to be better at. You have tells like everyone else, the way you kick your foot out every few seconds, the lack of hand movements. But, Dick doesn't know you well enough to know your tells so you lie with the first thing that comes to your mind and by the look at Dick's face as he looks back to Jason, you’re thinking he believes you.

Dick sighs. "Just," Dick starts, his attention on Jason as Jason looks back to him. "Come get me, okay? I have to be able to trust you."

"Right." Jason scoffs.

"Go to bed, I'm gonna talk to Y/n."

Jason looks over his shoulder and you give him a soft smile with a nod. Jason sighs, not wanting to leave you alone with Dick but it's probably for the best before he punches the guy. "Good luck." Jason scoffs, pushing past Dick and leaving the bathroom.

Dick walks further inside, leaning his hip against the counter while you’re looking at your hands in your lap. Your head is hung as if you’re waiting for the 'I can't trust you, you have to leave' speech you know is coming. You wonder why you do that. Taking the risk of homelessness when you know it's a possibility. It's not like you do it on purpose but you get mad and frustrated, nothing else really matters at that point. The only thing that does is not being mad anymore. It clouds everything else in your brain. A booming kickdrum drowning out every better decision you’ve ever had.

"Is that actually what happened?" Dick asks, his arms crossed.

"Yep." You answer, not looking to him.

"What were you thinking?" His voice is disappointed this time, completely different than the anger he had towards Jason and it doesn't sit right with you but that's not the argument you want to have right now.

"Guess I wasn't." You mutter. "Kicking me out?" You peek an eye at him, your words hesitant.

Dick shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "No." He shakes his head. "Wanna tell me what the hell happened though?"

You shrug. "He was on the news." You say, your voice small and quiet. "They were congratulating him for being an upstanding citizen, an everyday hero, because he saved a fucking kid from getting hit by a train."

Dick nods once, understanding how you ended up at his house. "So, you decided to go after him?"

"I mean...yeah." You looks up to him. "It's just not fair, ya know? I'm..." You pause, trying to find the right words as the fire dies out from your blood. "I'm scarred, physically and mentally from him. He did all that shit to me. I'm a freak now because of him. He ripped me from my home. I talk shit about Gotham but it's my fucking home and he ripped me from it." You shake your head as you look back to your hands, picking at the bandages Jason applied. "He gets to be called a hero and I get stuck with more trauma."

Dick's anger for the night fades as he listens to you, for the first time, really listening to you. You’re not snarky or fighting with him. This seems like the most honest you’ve been with him since he found you. He sees a part of himself in you. Angry and bitter and resentful of the life you're dealt. You were both just kids when your lives got ripped out from under you. No kid deserves that. It makes him sad, that's the one thing everyone in this tower has in common. Childhoods ruined by adults who are too selfish and cruel to think about their well-being. Or even care about their well-being.

"He thought I was dead." You scoff, feeling the burning of the back of your eyes start. "He actually said that tonight. He dumped me for dead. Just...like that. Like I was trash. I'm not..." You pause, your chin wrinkling slightly. "I'm not even upset that he didn't give a fuck, ya know? Because fuck him but...I am upset that a human can do that to another human. He tried to kill me." Your voice breaks.

Up until tonight, a part of you thought it really was an accident. Jerry just thought he went too far, he didn't mean to do it. But, tonight, the look on his face, he wanted you dead. You were too much maybe. Too big of a hassle because you put up a fight even with words. You'll never know his why and maybe that's for the best but the thing is that he did try to kill you. That's something that you have to sort through and live with. Beating someone to death is a personal thing, there's a burning hatred there and while you can't rationalize it, it's like you’re trying to anyway.

You’re putting blame on yourself even when it doesn't make sense because you’re the victim. From the time you were put into Jerry's care until the day he dumped you in that alley, you were the victim. But, you can't stop your mind from blaming yourself. What about you is so un-fucking-bearable that someone would hate you so much they'd try to kill you? He's evil, he doesn't need a reason and it's not your fault, but that doesn't stop the thoughts. And you thought you'd be okay joking with Jason, maybe that would quiet everything for the night but now you’re talking to Dick and you can't joke with him like that. And now it's haunting the marrow in your bones, aching and dragging.

"I'm not mad, okay?" Dick assures you. "Disappointed but I understand. That's a horrible thing you went through. I get that, I do." Dick starts. "But, you can't go off on your own like that. I know you had Jason but anything could have happened. You were in his house. You almost killed him." Dick keeps his voice steady and lacking of anger. "It sucks. I went to get revenge for my parents being killed and I regret it every day." Dick opens up a little making you look at him with a raised brow.

"Why?"

"I didn't kill him but because I went after him, he was killed by someone else." Dick explains. "He killed my parents but it wasn't my job to kill him or get him killed as mad as I was or as unfair as it is. That's just not our job."

"I didn't wanna kill him." You suck in a breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out. "Just beat him up, rub it in a bit that I was alive and kicking. Show him he didn't win."

"I think you accomplished that." Dick raises his brows quickly.

"Yeah," You sigh. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry for losing it and dragging Jason into it."

Dick shakes his head. "Just don't let it happen again." Dick pauses. "You don't have to take the fall for him."

You roll your eyes. "I'm not."

Dick nods, not fully buying it. "Okay, well, extra chores for a month then."

"That it?" You ask.

"Yeah, don't do this again." Dick pushes himself off the counter.

"Aye-aye, captain." You solute him haphazardly.

Dick sighs with the response. "Just get to bed." Dick says before leaving the bathroom.

You let out a breath, taking a second to be. There's a lot to unpack tonight. You look at your hands and a part of you wants to grieve for the person you’ve become. Three years ago, you'd never hit anyone. You'd have someone threaten to hit you and you knew you'd never do anything about it. Fighting never seemed like the best solution. It always seemed so pointless but now you’re here with bloody knuckles, fueled by anger. You get it now but you don't know if you like the feeling.

But, you’re so sad and angry, like weights tied around your ankles. You’re gnawing and clawing at them but they never budge. They just get stronger the more you struggle. Every day you live and Jerry gets to exist in happy contentment, it's another pound added. Every day you live and the Joker gets to keep on jokering, it adds weight to your shoulders. The anger and sadness cloud your every move. Grief is agonizing and numbing and all-consuming. And when you think you have something to make it better, it's temporary. Training, movies with Gar, video games, music, teasing Jason, beating up Jerry. It's all temporary relief. The second you’re alone with your thoughts, it creeps back in, a tsunami receding the tides again.

And you wonder if you'll ever hit the acceptance stage of grief or if you'll just be trapped here alone for the rest of your life. So, you clean up the bathroom and look for a distraction because the guilt and grief feel too much.

Your fist knocks on the dark door softly and you wait a few seconds. This is a bad idea and you know it. But you don't want to be alone and you don't want to think about anything. Thinking is becoming a chore and you feel haunted. Tied down and struggling. Beating up Jerry did nothing but make you feel worse which then, somehow, makes you feel even worse. It should have helped, it should have because he got what he deserved but it just makes you feel like the bad guy in all of it. You saved someone tonight but all you see is Jerry covered in his own blood, thinking that's what you must have looked like. And a part of you thinks maybe you aren't any better than he is because you did to him what he did to you. It is different and you know that but it’s late and you can’t be alone with those thoughts.

"Hey." Jason greats you, surprised to you.

He thought for sure you would listen to Dick and stay away from him. He's not entirely sure if he was serious about it but it wouldn't shock him. Jason is bad news, dragging everyone he cares about down with him.

"Can I come in?" You ask as if you’re on a mission.

"Sure." Jason opens the door further for you and you walk in. Jason closes the door behind you, leaning against it, waiting for you to say something.

Something's off. No smirk, grin, or smile. No teasing comment. No remark about the half-empty bottles of Gatorade and Red Bull scattered about his room. You were, relatively fine and normal when he left besides being pissed at Dick. For a second, fear strikes him and he wonders if Dick gave up on you already. Jason knows that can't be it, Dick sucks sometimes but he's not that fucking horrible. But, that's also the only thing coming to mind.

You turn to face him, your expression almost flat and Jason watches you as you walk up to him. You stand just a few inches from him without saying anything. Normally, Jason would find this as a challenge, play the game again and see what happens in the safety of his room. But, not now. Not with the flat expression and distant look in your eyes. Not like this.

And you think about it. Think about kissing him and using him as a distraction, that was the plan coming here instead of waking up Gar. Gar would have too many questions and he'd have this way of getting you to spill your guts to him. You’re too tired for that. It's too much thinking, too much emotion. But you’ve got your eyes locked on Jason's and you want to kiss him because it'll be such a good distraction and it'll make you feel something incredible. It'll make you feel wanted and important, you won't feel so damaged anymore even if it's just a few minutes.

But that's not fair to him either.

You shake your head. "Sorry." You take a step back, swallowing thickly.

"It's okay." Jason says, still watching you carefully, concern starting to creep onto his face. "What's up?"

"I don't wanna think about it anymore." You answer candidly.

Jason nods and he has an idea. If it were anyone else, he’d go for it because kissing someone and letting it go wherever it decides to go, is a fun little distraction. But, this is you. And he swears if something is meant to happen, it won’t be because either of you want to be distracted. So, he walks over to a dresser near the window and looks inside. You watch him, questioning what he could possibly be doing. You aren't sure what you expected him to do but say something would be high up on that list. Instead, he's just looking into a drawer so you make the walk toward him.

"What're you doing?" You ask from behind him.

"Pick one." He says, gesturing a hand inside the drawer. You walk up beside him and see several books. You raise a brow at him. "Just do it." Jason sighs.

You shrug and go along with it. You look over the spines, studying them and it's kind of interesting, seeing what books he likes. There's dystopian young adult, horror, adventure, a few classics. It's like a little window into his world and there’s something sweet and soft about it. But, you spot one that you’ve actually seen the movie for so you pick that one.

Jason laughs as you pick the book with the pale yellow spine. "You've seen the movie?"

"Yeah, of course." You answer with a laugh. "Of course, I've seen it. Is the book good?"

"You tell me." Jason takes the book from you and walks past you, going towards his bed.

You spin on your heels, the confusion and curiosity engraving itself across your face. "What?"

"When shit gets too fucking loud, I read." Jason explains, sitting on his bed while you walk over to the end of the bed slowly. Things get loud for him and escaping into a book helps. It quiets the noise. "Or I train but you don't seem like you want to do that right now."

"That would be a correct assumption." You state. "But, I just said I don't read." Your eyes are narrowed still waiting for Jason to explain what's going on.

Jason stretches his legs out before opening the book and flipping to chapter one. He clears his throat. "When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton." Jason reads the first line and your face softens and your heart stops in your chest, realizing what he's doing.

Not to be dramatic, but a part of you almost cries while he reads. This is probably one of the nicest and most thoughtful things someone has ever done. Reading is draining to you but his way to deal with shit. This is his world that he's inviting you into in order to distract you. Jason Todd is not nearly as calloused as he comes across and it's so warming and jarring that you are, yet again, at a loss for words. And you adore him so fucking much, you swear he makes all of your broken parts seem not so broken.

"You gonna just stand there or you gonna sit?" Jason asks as he finishes the first paragraph. He feels exposed again but for you, it's worth it. It'll always be worth it for you.

"Okay." You smile at him, crawling onto his bed and sitting beside him.

He gives you this look of contentment, of ease. His eyes are soft, not sad or pained like they normally are. He looks comfortable, here with you and a book in his hand. You want to cry so bad because something about him seems so perfect. He's perfect but in the way that something by Monet is or the way a glass vase is. He's perfect with every cracked, messy, and damaged parts of him because they make him...him.

You think maybe perfect isn't the right word for him because he has flaws, you both have flaws. To be perfect is to be flawless and Jason Todd is anything but flawless but to you, with gentle and adoring eyes, he seems perfect. Maybe to be perfect, as a person, is not to be flawless but to be flawed and still be unapologetically yourself. Maybe that's what is it. To be perfect, as a person, maybe it's because of the things you do and who you are rather than what's happened to you. Maybe being a perfect human is just being able to show softness even when all you have ever known is a life of tragedy and heartache. And to you, Jason Todd is perfectly flawed just like you.

You scoot closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder. The action surprises Jason a little but he falls comfortable with you against him. Jason thinks you’re everything he could have ever asked for. He doesn't care about the violence or the rage that courses through your bones. He doesn't care that you have some issue with Batman over the Joker. It doesn't matter to him because you see him for who he is. He is not Jason Todd, the arrogant asshole. To you, he's just Jason Todd. Jay. And Jason thinks that's what makes you perfect. That you understand him and you care for him even when he's drowning in a war against himself. Jason Todd thinks you’re perfect and he doesn't think anyone is perfect.

Jason looks to you and smirks because he can't help himself. "Unless you wanted to do something else." His brows wiggle as he teases you.

"Shut the fuck and read the fucking book, Jay." You roll your eyes, sinking into him and looking over to read along with him.

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