#i love it when my silly little alien show becomes all dark and fucked up actually

[lily-blue-blue-lily]

ncuti fucking gatwa!! what a man!!!

#unless the writing for the new series is absolutely abysmal #i can pretty much guarantee already that hes gonna be my favourite ever doctor besides ten #he is #so good #doctor who #am i honestly not certain how i feel about the ending of the ep otherwise #i dont hate it but i dont love it and i dont really know what to think #the toymaker performance was impeccable #and the horror vibes for the bit with the doors was perfection #i really hope the horror vibes keep going into the new series because its so fun #i love it when my silly little alien show becomes all dark and fucked up actually #anyway ncuti gatwa is a god i am obsessed with him #genuinely the most perfect casting ever

[doctorwhoisadhd]

you know in 2016 i was like 13 and a baby queer and i was SO excited for class but i couldnt watch it bc it wasnt on bbcamerica yet and like. now that im finally watching it im not gonna lie its a little. disappointing. like im only on episode 4 but like . my mom said it was a weird show (she was in the room when we watched the first episode) but like it. like. isnt. and thats sort of the problem yk? like . its a dr who spinoff obviously its gonna be weird but like. No It Aint compared to either the main show or the other 2 spinoffs?? like

sja: ooh one of the characters was Never Born! ooh evil clown episode! ooh mind control amulet that makes ur dad do silly and / or lowkey evil stuff! ooh robot dog shows up at the last minute to save the gang from the mona lisa! and then theres the trickster stuff which is quite literally just like: Hey. Wouldnt it be fucked up if you woke up one day and ur best friend was gone and nobody knew who u were talking about and ur other friend has no idea who u are anymore and thenYOU never existed too???

torchwood: blah blah 5 bisexuals etc etc but like also: there are 2 different episodes where one specific one of them has a whirlwind gay romance in the past. the first 5 words in the episode 2 description on hbo max is "an alien addicted to sex". and it still manages to be silly goofy and have fun character beats and stuff while being dark and edgy and "everyone gets covered in blood and shot" and shit.

but like idk class is like. disappointing. like it feels really normal and really predictable and very mainstream and its like . idk . just like even with the april stuff its like. it just makes me dislike her. it doesnt show anything about what sges thinking . she jsut gets taken over and its like "oh shes fighting the shadow king!" but shes not though shes just becoming him. ina super unfun way where she doesnt have any input or show any emotions or anything.

its just. disappointing like i want to love class SO BAD and there are some genuinely very cool moments and interesting character beats but. it just doesnt feel.... like its trying to get me to like the characters i guess? and it especially sucks bc i could probably forgive all this if any of the characters was a character who i already knew and liked from dr who.

#co-owner of a lonely heart #class #ari opinion hour #not bonff

[ladyyatexel]

@bmouse tagged me in the little "Get To Know You" meme, so here are my very long winded answers!

Last Song: 'Huhhahhei' - Käärijä Yet more music I can't just fucking Buy here, they want me to stream everything, fuck that shit. I listen to it on YouTube hahaha. I'm happy to follow Käärijä's nonsense regardless. He's so fucking silly and this song is doing the same 'dark and silly' combo that his Cha Cha Cha onward songs have had.

I like Käärijä so much, but not in the aggressively sexual way that everyone else still excited about him after Eurovision seems to. I feel like I really love him in like a 'fellow struggling artist' way and in a character design way? Something about him just makes me smile and kind of pokes me in the heart and yells, "Tag! You're it!" I'm proud of him, and he makes me smile and laugh and I love what he makes. I hope for such good things for him, and that he takes care of himself!

Currently Watching: Old Robert Stack episodes of Unsolved Mysteries. This happens to me periodically. It was a favorite show to watch with my mom when I was a kid/teen, and so it has a weird combo of spooky and warmly nostalgic.

It is nice to see so many more updates than I used to, and interesting to see how my tastes have changed. As a kid, I hoped every single one would be ghosts or aliens, and as an adult, I groan and skip these kinds of stories. I am surprised by how Christian the show was. I didn't notice it when I was younger because I was comfortably indifferent about Christianity, I guess. Would tell people I believed in God if asked because it seemed as default to me. It was a few years until I realized how much of it didn't line up with me or itself. Now, firmly an atheist, the show's assumption of Christianity clangs badly for me

Current Obsession: A strange patchwork of things! Juuzou and Hanbee from Tokyo Ghoul, definitely. I'm so into everything about them, they just wove their way into everything, I am fascinated, enchanted, and, as my phone desperately wants to type instead, vaccinated. I can't help but notice how much I love pairs that involve one person demonstrating extreme devotion to the other one, where the other is strange, unique, viewed as weird by others. These are frequently kind of asexually shaped, too, so I can't help but think this dynamic is a certain strong personal connection or longing.

Also, drawing and the potential of doing video! Streaming traditional art or making an art video channel is so interesting to me. Markers, G Pen nibs, capturing something I can't explain in words.

I also recently watched an 80 part documentary about Chris-chan. I have a tendency to become interested in something in a very neutral way? As in, I just want to know all this information so that I know it, but not necessarily because I love the topic. I have a real interest in the adjacent topic of people who make very sincere comics or related things. It reminds me so much of when I was making tons of them as a kid. I have historically been interested a lot in the work of people who are just trying to do their little thing, and often used to look at Encyclopedia Dramatica like 15 years ago. I didn't like the language they used, the things they did to people, any of it, but the people they were targeting fascinated me in some familiar way. I don't know what it is. I have never wished them any more trouble, and often just sincerely looked at the work they made and Thought about it, but I don't know What the thinking was. Trying to learn to not be Target like them? Interested as someone who also could get absorbed in their own things super deeply? I don't know.

Regardless, what happened to Chris-chan is sad. She has been a completely horrible person, especially lately, like, I'm not defending any of this shit, but wow, it didn't have to be this bad. People did so much damage. This never should have been like this.

So yeah, a weird combo of things! But this is some real "get to know you" junk, isn't it?

I know @sturionic likes to talk also. I think I'll put @propheticfire and @raemanzu in there too. I'd also like to know what @anthropwashere and @kiranerys are up to!

#get to know meme

[distinguishedloverbanananickel]

For me and to be fair, a relationship with a man like Leo is an a solid A+ static! Not to mention the fact I always wanted my romantic tendencies from fantasy. To reality straight away. Knowing Leo he loves reading books so I would be a social fucking nerd about lord of the rings and alien vs predator novels. Even scary books too like goosebumps!😎 As tv shows he would enjoy of course mines with be something horror or Korean anime drama series depending what the article is really about to get me interested, of course. Frankly, cartoons like Looney toons, knd, grim adventures of Billy and Mandy even Kung Fu fucking panda! Omg I would be such a fucking geek and so much interest with martial arts he'll... Beg me to train with him. Oy😅

As taming him when it comes to his feisty temper. Well, I can have such a shitty attitude myself if he can handle THAT. I would say things like "Leonardo! If you want to make your decisions fucking impossible because your father has strictly wanted you to be a leader! Because you are their big fucking brother babe! You are not fucking dumb or a nuisance since we first met. To be fair, I thought ya never wanted me around ever since my friends gotten close to your siblings. Understand baby.. I love you so... So fucking much. Breaks my heart to see you struggle and forget what needs to be seen. Despite your motive and athletic moments that make it for me pretty complex about your current situations that I rarely understand. So I just leave ya alone. Figure thoughts out for yourself. Making love with you sets off a whole newer levels for my body to react because you did something to make me love you. All of you! Please Leo and I really hate begging. Just listen and open your eyes and see things less of a challenge. This world will always and forever be cruel. Just remember you always got the people who are close to you make your life less miserable than how it used to be for your cold blooded heart baby blue".

As for combat I love wrestling and miz martial arts so I wanna practice with my jumping and more nutritious ways to stay healthy. Maybe Leo can help and after if we do ya know.. hehehe😌😌😌 a little discipline never hurts one person's mind and spirit.

So I never mention this but I'm a pretty hardcore fan for poetry, positivity ways of speaking the mind of human contact, scary true stories of actual dangerous people becoming the monsters underneath my bed. Including being scared of the dark sometimes. Comedy and laughter, not for shadowing. Enjoying romantic and sex comedy films like grown ups one and two, Porky's one two and three, and other exotic films of love or just silly simple stuff for horror comedy or regular funny moments.

Knowing me being random for watching too many old animation films and 3d shows or movies. I say shit like "well a few times or things I could eat the entire shit like a cat crossing over dumb sided from my right eye point of view" and Leo is like '😅😂🙂🤨😆👍". Depending on his mood though. I wouldn't provoke that unless I have no choice. Wish me luck 🤞!

As for zodiac signs... Being a pisces will just take a whole new ride out of Leo because he's aquarius. So it's like opposites attract. I also have a goth like biker chick style so if he sees me pull up with a badass bewitching motorcycle. The expression though his eyes would be like "top me mommy. Now" type of link 😂

Also I'm a big extreme person on cuddling and being a little possessive. So another double A++? Lol we be like twins just talking and being smug playful bastards to each other. Although I would ask if I'm going too far I'll stop. Though I'll doubt he'll care and say "my dark princess never seems to be less amusing as you want to make it be. Don't fret and be you baby" and winks. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!🤩😍💕💕🖤🔥🔥

Also I wouldn't mind becoming his wife and if his genetic mutations allow us to welcome our own children to this welcoming world. We travel to Japan for our honeymoon in the rocky mountains where the water flows and it's not much but silence and the breeze coming through our windows. We sleep peacefully until he knocks me up!

#tmnt bayverse #leo #self ship

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 10

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. Mild smut in this chapter.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Tony fluff, Tony snark, Tony sass and Tony smut (finally!). My & reader's brain be like: tony tony tony tony. A request for my readers: do I write a believeable tony? Is he in character, more or less?

My beta @miscmarvelwritings - she's not into Tony but even then, she was finally excited about them finally getting down & dirty. The patience of this woman...

"Tony, could I borrow, like, a hoodie or something?"

He eyed my attire critically for a moment, seemingly coming to the same conclusion I did minutes earlier, and made a beeline for the couch in the back of the lab. Picking up and examining a black mass of fabric, deeming it satisfactory, he tossed it to me. "It's clean enough, I guess."

The thin straps of my mesh top rubbed against a lot of tender skin, leaving pink lines in the wake of it. A sigh of relief escaped me involuntarily when I removed it -

"Woah, woah," Tony squeaked, covering his eyes with an exaggerated gesture. "Warn a man!"

I honestly didn't see what the big deal was. "Tony, chill. I'm pretty sure you've seen it all and then some." I snorted, stretching briefly, shrugging on the slightly oversized hoodie. It smelled like the lab - like Tony, too, but mostly like motor oil and iron. Beggars can't be choosers, however - I had already devised and executed the plan that will let me keep the hoodie.

"When you put it that way..." He smirked, briefly returning to his usual self and giving me a salacious eyebrow wiggle.

I laughed in response, wiggling my hips, feeling the hem of my skirt swish against my thighs. I considered removing the fishnet tights, too, but a brief look in the reflective wall divide between Tony's and Bruce's labs got me pulling out my phone to take two dozen selfies. I looked great with Tony's clothes on.

The engineer chuckled at my antics, coming up behind me as I sat on the floor with my knee raised, chin resting on it. The amber liquid sloshed over the top of his glass, dripping down his fingers. He sat behind me.

"Weller Full Bourbon?" I asked, bringing my nose closer to his fingers to get a good whiff. The distinctive vanilla notes in his whiskey were unmistakable. "Good choice," I made a serious face. "Fancy."

"I can afford it, darling," He snarked back, devoid of malice.

He was so close. And so warm. And I needed a new screensaver. Shuffling back, I reclined against Tony's chest, carefully wedging my head in the crook of his neck.

God help me.

I felt his breath hitch. The dark, magnetic pools of his eyes stared at me from our combined reflection. Tony's eyes were the most expressive, he could fake a smile, he could charm the press and countless investors, but his eyes only spoke the truth. Always. I loved working with Tony because his gaze would light up. It was akin to seeing a little kid on Christmas.

A muscular arm snaked around my waist, pressing my back to his chest. The metal of his arc reactor jabbed uncomfortably between my shoulder blades but there was nowhere else I'd rather be.

"You're filming, Princess," He interrupted my Moment.

"Sure," I answered, not caring. There could be another alien invasion happening and I wasn't able to give a damn.

I felt the vibrant chuckle more than heard; Tony snatched the phone out of my hand without permission. I noticed the furrowed brow when he opened my Instagram and saw the unmistakable evidence of my frequent partying, yet he didn't comment on it.

"Tony, the press is going to go nuts," I raised my eyebrows, seeing what he was planning to do.

"They've seen me doing worse things," He scoffed. And took a photo of us ‘just chilling’ in his lab, hugging. He picked out a filter and everything., and then posted it.

"First of all, I am pretty awesome to be 'doing', I've had only good feedback," I scoffed at his dismissive attitude, using my free hand to make quote marks. Then I turned my head to stare him square in the face. "Steve's going to be pissed and Ms. Potts is going to call to yell at you." I punctuated the statements with a raised eyebrow.

There was really no innocent way the press could represent the photo that he posted. I didn't care for it, my parents wouldn't give a damn (my father probably would encourage it, the free publicity and all). Tony himself didn't seem like the kind of man to care much about some gossip articles, if anything, he enjoyed provoking them into a frenzy. Or at least, he used to.

"I'll put them both on hold. I like to watch the line blink," Tony winked, smirking. "I've been told the press expects me to have a midlife crisis since my last breakup," Eyes darkening, the man swiftly finished off his drink.

Midlife crisis seemed such a bitter way of putting it. Considering my own preferences in romantic partners, I couldn't help but feel offended at the way people offhandedly dished out labels - "midlife crisis", "daddy issues" and so on and so forth. The briefest part of me traveled back to Mr. Davies' living room where - no, I am not going there.

"Huh," I said, coming to a conclusion. A sad one at that.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Princess, but you don't seem like the kind of girl who thinks about pesky things like reputation or consequences," Tony mused idly, coming to a conclusion of his own.

"Nope, I don't give a fuck," I agreed with his opinion wholeheartedly. "If I would have a publicist, they would quit on the second day."

"I pay mine, uh, twice the average amount and they still quit. We're doomed, baby," Tony's gleeful face was mere inches away from my own, whiskey-tipsy and glowing.

I snorted, sliding lower to further burrow into his arms. Tony's sudden touchy-feely mode wasn't lost on me. My own touch starvation overrode any common sense that I had left. The totally-PG (well, not quite) embrace, one armed hug brought me more satisfaction than any of my sexual partners had ever achieved to give me.

"Why are there so many messages from Banner? Are you staging a world domination plan and forgot to include me? I'm hurt!" Tony exclaimed suddenly, a whiny tone to his voice.

"Thor's space yeasts have corrupted our minds with their spores. Soon all will become... Mushroom!" I deepened my voice for the dramatic effect, flailing my arms on the last word for the extra flair.

The man wiped a fake tear from the corner of his eye; his eyes were sparkling, laughing even. "I'm evicting Thor and his supremely selfish yeast. How dare it ignore me."

"I vouched for you, I really did," I kept up the silly game. "But alas, the yeasts deemed you too... Boomer," The pride in my voice could barely hold back the laughter threatening to spill.

"Did you just..?" Tony gaped. "Did you just call me old?!"

I attempted to get away, shrieking when the tips of Tony's fingers squirmed along my midsection. "It was the yeast! IT WAS THE YEAST!" My resistance proved to be futile. The engineer had mass and strength on his side, years of piloting and maneuvering the Iron Man suits showing just how quick and nimble he could be when the situation demanded it.

"Take that from an old man!" He exclaimed triumphantly, using his arm to hold down both of my hands from grasping at him. One of his legs held down my own; we were a squirming, writhing mass of limbs in the heat of a tickle fight.

The cocaine in my blood, the mild buzz from being drunk on Tony - my body reacted to the close proximity of the man who occupied my fantasies. I was blushing, breathing heavily, and it wasn't just from the exertion. It should have affected me less, but I struggled to keep my eyes from Tony's face; his own flush, the moist part of his lips.

I wondered how a deer in the headlights felt. Was it hot, like it's body was suddenly alight, or was it cold, liquid nitrogen freezing in its veins?

"Fuck," I mumbled half-coherently.

"What was that?" He arched an eyebrow, clever eyes carefully watching my own.

"I'm in trouble," I chuckled weakly, looking away, pretending to struggle against his arms.

"You're trouble," He announced, grinning. His fingertips slowed, skimming gently along my sides now.

I retaliated with a tentative brush of my foot along the softness of his jean-covered inner thigh. It was euphoric, seeing Tony shudder, the thick eyelashes fluttering for the briefest part of a second.

"We should stop," He whispered suddenly, making a move to disentangle us both. Mixed signals, we've got em, ladies and gentlemen.

"Why?" I was tired of this dance. It was fun but painful. My firm decision of the past still stood: I won't be the lovesick fangirl, I won't be another notch in his bedpost. The resolve was crumbling but it was still there, to some point.

"You're not sober, this is wrong," He mumbled. "I'm more than twice your age, Princess."

That ship had sailed, Tony. If only you knew... "Do you seriously expect me, out of all people, to find common ground with someone my age? Someone like Peter? Jeez," I tried to be amused. If it came out more pleading, I pretended to not notice it. It was the moment of truth. It needed to be said. "I'm FUBAR, Tony. I'm lucky if anyone at all will want to put up with me, much less someone I can stand. I'm spoiled, I'm selfish, and annoying. I know that. I just thought we were friends and you'd be...kinder about it." My mumbling was met with a somewhat perplexed stare.

"I..." His eyebrows threatened to have a close encounter with his hairline. "What the fuck? Are you dead set on giving me a stroke today? I have a heart condition," He yanked me back towards his chest, unceremonious and indignant. "You can be so smart yet so stupid. Gosh, where is the world rolling, I'm quoting Pepper now." He seemed to be muttering to himself.

"Pot, kettle." I didn't resist the urge to snark.

"Right," Tony rolled his eyes. "You're beautiful and all that jazz. You deserve much more than this." Uncharacteristically sad, he pointed to himself, again. "I'm an old man with more issues than Playboy magazine."

"And I'm an angsty teenager with daddy issues, we're a match made in heaven."

"Hell," Tony was eyeing our combined reflection with a sort of petulance. It was hard keeping track of his microexpressions; his eyes and face held fleeting, half-finished thoughts, just like when he was creating, inventing something new.

"Works for me. Lucifer's hot," I answered with my brain on autopilot. He caught my eyes in the shiny glass, trapping me in his calculative gaze.

"The Netflix one or the Supernatural one?" Tony asked, equally absent from the conversation. Neither of us were able to break eye contact, breathing laboured and hearts thudding in our chests. I felt Tony's pulse fluttering under my palm where I'd rested it on his wrist.

The organ that dutifully pumped blood through my own veins and kept me alive threatened to escape my body, jump out of my chest, make its way out my mouth. Tony's unblinking stare penetrated my skin, seeped into the hollow behind my eyelids, ignited a flame within me and froze my thoughts.

"The one with the detective kink," I answered breathily. "I have an affinity for brown-eyed, narcissistic, sarcastic men with self-destructive tendencies," The last part of my sentence was swallowed by Tony's lips.

My brain shorted out, just like that. Bourbon on his breath and a new dose of snark on his tongue, he licked into my mouth with the grace and finesse of years of experience. It was sudden, it was rough, it was fantastic. His beard left marks on my face and I craved the burn of it.

"Fuck," I moaned when we were forced to surface for oxygen. My hips had moved, pressed against his own, prominent arousal digging into the small of my back. Tony had me moaning and grinding into it in mere seconds.

A hand rested on my face with surprising tenderness, turning my face to look at my own reflection. My hair was a mess, lips puffy - Tony wasn't looking any better, hunger and lust in plain view. It was a good look on him.

"Watch," His breath ghosted over the shell of my ear, lips traveling to the nape of my neck to attach themselves to the very sensitive flesh of that area.

I obeyed, gazing at the scene with lidded eyes. Keeping them open was a struggle. My body was flooded with sensation, riding the waves of pleasure like a rollercoaster. I wanted to please him, needed to obey him, to feel him.

My thighs quivered at Tony's touch. There was no warning, no preamble as he wedged a firm hand, separating them quickly to follow the heat. His biceps flexed deliciously. Under my skirt, through the fishnets and the tiny, lacy panties I wore.

"Fucking shit," The man moaned loudly, finding me, predictably, soaking wet. It was one hot, sticky mess between my legs.

The keen that left my mouth might've been embarrassing, yet it only spurred Tony on. Gently parting my lower lips, he gathered the moisture, suddenly withdrawing from me. My confusion met his amusement in the mirror as he stuck the two fingers in his mouth, moaning obscenely and loudly at the taste.

The corners of my mouth lifted, happy. "To-ony," I whined, my pussy aching for more. Now that I had felt the relief and pleasure of his touch, I didn't want it to end.

"Princess," He replied, seriously and sternly. I shuddered at the scratchiness of his voice. The hand that I was missing returned, stroking over the outside of my pussy with broad, soft motions. I arched, presented myself into the touch. "So eager," Tony mumbled into my shoulder, catching a bit of my skin between his teeth.

His fingers dipped deeper, delving in between the puffy, engorged flesh and stroking once, twice, before finding my clit. The pads of Tony's fingers were rough, hardened by manual work and hours spent in front of his inventions, making, tinkering, creating. The friction was perfect. I followed each stroke with a fluid motion of my hips.

"Tony, fuck," I slurred my approval, needing him to know how amazing he made me feel. Tony's form pressed closer, both of us melting, molding into each other.

"Baby girl, what do you need?" His raspy voice tickled my neck. I was sure there would be an array of marks decorating me come morning and absolutely loved the thought. I belonged to Tony Stark, in body and heart and mind and soul.

"I want to cum," I had no shame left. "I want to feel you."

He groaned, rutting into me. A squeak was all I managed to emit as two thick fingers plunged inside of me with a wet squelch. My pussy immediately took hold of the situation, squeezing and rippling around them. I was so close, my nerves pulled up taut like an overtaxed string. The effect this man had on me was positively unholy.

My clit throbbed under his thumb. Tony somehow managed to reach every single sweet spot on my body, effortlessly, easily, like he'd done it a thousand times.

"Ohmyfuckinggod, Tony," I came hard, shuddering, drenching the fingers inside of me. The moment I began sagging in his arms was the moment they tightened around me; I felt Tony grind helplessly against me, saw his own eyes slam shut and his brow furrow.

The hand that was in me withdrew rapidly as he hastily popped the button on his pants, freeing his cock and giving it several desperate tugs. I couldn't see it; I had to settle for the sensation of his hand, his hips rubbing against my clothed back.

He came quickly, with a loud shout. My curiosity got the best of me and I used the brief moment of his weakness to turn around, take a good look at him.

Tony was a fucking mess with a fucking gorgeous cock. Thick and veiny.

My face was level with it before he could have opened his eyes. I wanted, craved to know how he tasted. With gentle kitten licks, I collected the stray drops of cum running down his hand, careful of the rapidly softening, sensitive flesh.

His eyes popped open in surprise. I smiled at him, unseeing, collecting as much of him as I could.

"Fuck, Princess," He breathed. "I'm just a man, I'm pushing fifty," Gently pulling my head away but holding it mere inches from his cock. Indecisive.

I reached over for his hand with my own, popping finger after finger in my mouth, collecting every drop of cum like it was nectar. I could be good...I If properly motivated. The salty musk was all the motivation I needed at that moment. He pulled me in for a filthy, sloppy kiss once I was done, both of us humming, vocalising the shared pleasure.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @as-i-layhereinyourbed @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01 @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney

As always, feedback is welcome and this blog is keyboard smash & emoji friendly.

#tony stark smut #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #tony stark x reader #stephen strange x y/n #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x you #bun writes #party favours #TONY NEVER SHUTS UP YO

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 27]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 3,200

Chapter 26

Y/N shot up in bed when her Kimoyo beads lit up and alerted her of an incoming call.

It was the middle of the night and she had been fast asleep.

When she tapped one of the beads, a hologram of Steve popped up.

“Steve?” She asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes awake.

“I’m sorry to wake you,” he said softly.

“It’s fine. Is everything OK?” She asked.

Steve sighed. “Vision and Wanda were attacked in Edinburgh.”

Y/N was fully awake now. “Attacked?”

“By…By aliens,” Steve added.

She froze. It sounded like a joke. But the look on Steve’s face was nothing but serious.

“Is everyone OK?”

Steve glanced down. “Vision’s hurt. It’s not good. Wanda’s a little beat up, but fine. Nat and Sam are OK.”

“And what about you?” She challenged.

“I’m fine,” he answered too quickly.

Y/N waited for him to continue.

“We’re on the quinjet now.” Then he hesitated. “Headed to the compound.” He sighed again. “Y/N…there was an attack in New York City. Tony’s missing. He was last seen boarding the spaceship that landed. And that’s the last anyone’s heard of him.”

Y/N suddenly realized why Steve was calling her. Something bad was about to happen. And neither of them believed they were going to see each other before it all went down.

“What if they arrest you?” Y/N thought aloud.

But Steve was already shaking his head at the question. “They know they need us. We’re about to be under attack. They’ve already lost Tony. Earth needs as much help as it can get.”

“What do they want?” She asked numbly.

“Vision. They want the mind stone.” Steve’s jaw clenched. “We’re taking him to the compound to see if we can remove it and still keep him alive.”

Y/N knew none of this was good. Tony was missing, Vision’s life was at stake, and aliens, they knew nothing about, were about to reign hell on the entire planet if they didn’t get what they wanted.

It was all above Y/N. She may have had an enhancement, but she was never a superhero. She didn’t come from a military background or the intelligence community. She only knew about the secrets of the universe from her relationship with Steve.

“Steve,” she whispered, “are you coming back?”

It was the question Steve was scared to answer.

“I-I don’t know, Y/N.”

She was about to open her mouth, say her goodbyes and tell him how much she loved him. Everything that needed to be said before they went into the unknown.

But Steve cut her off before she could do it. “I’ll call you soon,” he urged in his captain voice.

Except Y/N stayed quiet and looked unsure.

“Y/N,” his tone was stern. “Look at me.”

She did.

“I will call you soon. OK?”

She nodded.

Then the call ended and Y/N’s bedroom was filled with darkness once again.

————

Bucky woke up to the sound of someone pounding on his door.

“Bucky! Bucky, wake up!”

He shot out of bed as he immediately recognized Y/N’s voice.

The two of them hadn’t spoken since he went to her room and confessed everything.

But none of that mattered when he could clearly hear the panic in her voice.

He opened the door to Y/N’s wide eyes and heavy breathing. He looked past her shoulder to see that both of her guards were watching her with slight concern, proving that they didn’t know any more than he did of what was going on. They had just blindly followed her here and asked no questions. 

“What’s going on?” He asked her.

“I need you to teach me how to shoot a gun,” Y/N said as she struggled to catch her breath.

His eyes furrowed. “What?”

“I’m never going to be as good as I need to be at hand-to-hand combat. So…I need you to show me how to shoot a gun.”

“Y/N, it’s the middle of night. What the hell is going on?”

“Something’s coming. I don’t–I don’t know.” Then her bottom lip started trembling. “I just…I’m sick of being useless. I’m not going to stay here and hide when everyone else is fighting.”

Then she was crying. She was quickly becoming hysterical.

Without even thinking, Bucky pulled her shaking body towards him with his one arm.

“Shhh, kid. It’s OK. It’s OK.” He rubbed her back. “Can you take a deep breath? Can you do that for me?”

It took a bit of coaxing, but Y/N was finally able to do what he asked.

Bucky ignored the guards as he tried to calm her down.

He pulled away to look at her. “Now, tell me what’s going on? What’s gotten you so upset?” He pushed some hair off her face that got stuck to her skin thanks to the tears.

“It’s Thanos.” She finally whispered.

“Who the fuck is Thanos?”

After that, Bucky explained to Y/N’s guards that they were dismissed and he’d look after Y/N. 

30 minutes later, he had Y/N sitting in his kitchen with a blanket draped over her shoulders and a cup of tea in her grasp.

She looked so young and scared. The first time Bucky had met Y/N, long before he knew about her ability, she was as older than he’d ever known her. But now, she seemed so young and innocent.

Bucky was reminded that while Steve and Bucky had lived multiple lives that weaved in and out of time, Y/N was just in her first. She had dealt with and seen far more than any young woman her age should have. But with her ability, she never had a choice.  

Maybe that was why Bucky felt this draw to her, this sense of duty to protect her. But it was rather silly, wasn’t it? That’s what Steve already did. She didn’t need Bucky too.

Y/N had managed to explain to Bucky the call she’d just received from Steve.

It all made a bit more sense to him now.

“A war’s coming, Bucky,” Y/N muttered as her eyes held no focus, just staring off into the distance.

He didn’t say anything.

“And I can’t do anything to help,” she frowned. “I’m fucking useless.”

Bucky immediately leaned forward. “Hey,” his voice was stern, “That is not true.”

“They say I’m ‘enhanced,’ but my ability is useless. I can’t help anyone with it. I can’t even help myself. I wish I was like Wanda. Or even Natasha…she’s more normal than me and she can make a difference.”

“You think they only way to make a difference is to fight?” Bucky challenged.

“When it’s come to fighting a war, yes.”

He glared at her then. “And what about all the paramedics, the nurses, the doctors?” He sat up straighter. “Or the helpers?”

She squinted at him. “The helpers?”

“There’s always civilians – people just like you – who are helping. Look at any crisis and there’s people saving complete strangers.”

He leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face.

“People like Steve and the Avengers… they fight so people like you can be safe, so people like you don’t have to fight.”

“You’re saying you’re not one of those people?” She asked, not ignoring that Bucky didn’t include himself in any of that.

“I’m a wanted man,” Bucky pointed out.

“So is Steve,” Y/N immediately countered. “So are half of the Avengers.”

“That’s different and you know it, kid.” Bucky sighed. “And they wouldn’t be wanted if it wasn’t for me…”

Y/N’s Kimoyo beads glowed blue suddenly, signaling that she was getting an incoming call. There is no one else it could be besides Steve.

She instantly tapped at them just how Shuri had taught her.

Seconds later, Steve’s hologram lit up Bucky’s tiny hut.

“Steve! Are you OK?” Y/N instantly blurted out.

“I’m fine. Everyone’s the same,” he quickly told her.

She let out a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax a little bit.

“I’ll be home in a few hours,” Steve added.

“You’re all…coming to Wakanda?” Y/N asked carefully.

“Shuri is the only person that can help Vision. There’s no other option.”

She nodded in understanding.

“Y/N, I’ve already talked to T’Challa. I’m sending you back to the States as soon as I get back.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Steve? I’m not going anywhere.”

Steve expected this reaction. “Y/N, think about what I just said. We’re bringing Vision back. That means we’re bringing the war right to Wakanda. We’re about to make the country the most dangerous place on the planet.”

“I don’t care. I’m not leaving. Not without you.” Something about her word choice made Steve suddenly go quiet.

“We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he told her quietly.

Y/N realized how tired he looked.

“I just wanted to call and check in,” Steve told her.

She didn’t argue with him further, but the look on her face proved that she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“I love you,” he told her.

Y/N’s eyes flickered to Bucky. But then quickly went back to the hologram.

“I love you, too.” Steve’s hologram collapsed.

————-

For the first time in awhile, Bucky didn’t keep his distance from Y/N. In fact, he was now doing the complete opposite as he stood on the landing pad of the palace.

Y/N had been fidgeting since they got there, waiting for the team to arrive.

Bucky could tell by the way she held her body and the shadows under her eyes that she didn’t sleep a wink last night.

He’d offered for her to stay and sleep at his place last night, after he finally calmed her down and talked things out with her.

But Y/N immediately declined.

Bucky guessed things were forever changed now that he had admitted his true feelings for her. It’s not like he didn’t expect repercussions for his confession, but it all happened so quickly. He wasn’t ready yet.

“Please don’t let him send me away.”

Bucky blinked.

Y/N had said it so quietly and quickly. It didn’t sound like her. Probably because it came from a place of pure desperation.

He quickly turned to look at her to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

“Y/N, I don’t think – he’s not gonna listen to me,” Bucky told her gently.

When it came to Y/N and her safety, Bucky didn’t think Steve would listen to anyone. That’s what caused the couples grievances in the first place. Steve would always do what he thought was best for Y/N. It didn’t matter what Bucky, his best friend, had to say.

“He listens to you. Especially when it comes to me,” Y/N told him.

Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. But it didn’t matter because the quinjet was now lowering to the platform.

Y/N and Bucky stood back, letting T’Challa formally greet the new guests of Wakanda.

It gave Y/N an opportunity to take everyone in. She hadn’t seen Bruce in forever. He looked the same. But he’d clearly been shaken up. Vision couldn’t even stand up straight and had his arm around Wanda, who was helping him off the jet.

As the team headed their way, Bucky stepped forward, but Y/N remained where she stood.

She watched as Bucky started talking to Steve.

Steve’s eyes flickered over Bucky’s shoulder at Y/N. It was the dead giveaway that they were talking about her.

In return, Y/N looked at the ground, not enjoying the feeling of being discussed without actually being a part of the conversation.

But her attention was quickly taken away when Sam and Nat came over to give her giant hugs. They hadn’t seen her since everything went down with the Accords. When Steve returned to Wakanda to be with her, he never brought the team with him.

“It’s good to see you,” Sam told her with a soft smile as he hugged her.

“Have you been training?” Nat asked as she looked her up and down, taking note of the new muscles that had grown on Y/N’s form.

Y/N shrugged. “A little bit.”

“If you’ll all follow me this way,” T’Challa interrupted, guiding the new guests to Shuri’s lab.

Y/N turned and watched them go.

“I’ll be there in a second,” Steve said from behind her.

When she turned to face him, he was standing right behind her. But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

“Hi,” Y/N spoke quietly.

He gave her a sad smile. “Hi.”

Before he could say anything more, Y/N threw herself into his arms. He instantly wrapped himself around her, like it would be enough to protect her from anything in the world. But they both knew that was impossible.

“I shouldn’t have talked about sending you away the way I did,” Steve quickly told her, whispering it into her hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

She pulled back to look at him, but stayed in his arms. “You can’t push me away every time there’s danger around, Steve.”

“I know. I know that now.”

“I’m staying here,” Y/N declared, just to make her point.

He nodded.

Whatever Bucky had said to Steve, Y/N had to thank him for it.

“Go on,” Y/N lightly shoved him away. “T’Challa and the team are waiting for you.”

Steve sighed. “I’ll come find you later.”

Y/N nodded.

————

An hour later, they landed.

The reactions could’ve been worse and more panicked.

Y/N didn’t know what to do as she watched guards and Dora Milaje calling out orders and rushing around the palace. She heard them say something about evacuating the city.

Her eyes raced from face to face, trying to find someone she knew to ask what was going on or what she could do to help.

Her panic started increasing as she failed to find anyone.

“Y/N! Y/N!” His voice called through the chaos.

Relief instantly washed over her as she turned around to find Steve walking toward her with such purpose that everyone stayed out of his way.

“Steve, what’s going on?” She asked. Y/N had seen the ships landing, had felt the vibration as one of them crashed into the protective forcefield.

“They’re here,” he explained.

Then she looked down to see that there was a contraption on each of his forearms.

Y/N’s eyes widened, quickly processing what was happening. “What are you doing?” She shot at him, her tone filled with accusation.

“We’re holding them off. Shuri needs time.”

“Steve, no–“

“Y/N, listen to me,” he cut her off and grabbed her shoulders. Next thing she knew, he was ushering her towards the platform again. “Once we leave, you’re going with the Queen Mother. You’ll be safe with her.”

Hovercrafts were on the platform now and warriors were rushing around them.

Y/N was still trying to process what was happening. She couldn’t focus on anything.

“Steve…” she breathed his name.

Y/N was going into shock.

“Hey, look at me,” he gently pulled her face away from all the chaos that surrounded them. And just like that, he was all she saw. “You’re going to be OK.”

Tears started spilling down her cheeks and she was shaking her head. “I’m not worried about me, Steve.”

He pulled her into him. It was a dangerous thing to do: he didn’t know if he’d be able to let go now.

“I love you, Y/N. Whatever happens, you know that, right?”

He felt her nod against him.

She pulled back, eyes still shedding tears. “I’ve always known that.”

Steve gave her a sad smile.

Then she pulled him into a kiss. It didn’t matter that they were surrounded by people. Nobody was paying them any attention.

It was a goodbye kiss. Steve could feel it. It was desperate. It was messy. But there was also an edge to Y/N. He felt emotions shifting off her that he didn’t quite understand.

There was no time to question it.

“Steve, I love you,” she gasped for air. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” he breathed, still holding her face close to his.

Then someone was calling his name.

“Y/N, I have to go now.” She nodded, but still didn’t drop her hold on him. “You have to let me go,” he whispered to her.

Y/N took in a deep breath and finally took a step back.

“I’ll be OK,” Steve told her as she started slowly walking backwards. He didn’t want to look away from her yet. He couldn’t.

But then he was finally immersed in the crowd of people preparing for battle. She’d lost him.

But then another thought occurred to her.

“Bucky!” She gasped.

Now her eyes were racing around her, trying to find him.

By some miracle, Y/N spotted him as he was about to board a hovercraft.

She jumped into a run, trying her best to avoid running into anyone. She slammed into a few shoulders, but she didn’t that stop her. 

“Bucky!” She called and he instantly turned at both his name and her voice.

Y/N was trying to catch her breath when she stopped in front of him. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?” She accused.

Bucky at least looked a little guilty. “I’ve never been good at goodbyes, kid.”

“Can you promise me something?” She asked him slowly.

“Anything.”

“When this is all over, can we go back to how things used to be between us? I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t – I don’t want you to keep pushing me away.”

He thought about it for a moment, but nodded his head. “I promise.”

Y/N wrapped him in a hug, burying her face in his neck.

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ll look after that punk,” Bucky breathed into her hair.

“I want you to look after yourself,” she countered.

“Barnes, we’re heading out,” Nat said from atop the hovercraft.

Y/N stepped back from him before she could do anything she regretted.

Bucky gave her a look that she couldn’t quite read.

Y/N wondered…if things were different, if Bucky wasn’t so worried about hurting the people around him, what would he say to her in this moment?

The wind rushed around Y/N as she watched the hovercrafts take off.

Besides the guards who were waiting to escort her to the secure location with the Queen Mother... Y/N was all alone.

The tears slid silently down her face now. She didn’t make a sound, just watched them all getting smaller and smaller as they got closer to the enemy.

Y/N already knew she wasn’t going to see them again.

-----------

Chapter 28

I did it! (don’t worry, this aint the last chapter. i’m not that lucky 😒)

#non-sequential #non-sequential chapter 27 #steve rogers series #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #captain america series #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes #pre serum steve rogers #pre-serum!steve rogers #pre serum!steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve #bucky barnes x reader x steve rogers #steve rogers angst #steve rogers fanfic

[pochapal]

I hate doctor 11 but ive never been able to explain why in like words lmao. He feels like such a mary sue character imo and like theres something about his characterisation that was always just really ineffective (like the stuff about fishfingers and custard or whatever it was). Imo i'd love to hear you give top 5 worst things about the 11 era because i rlly just love when it gets torn apart

i hold nothing but a seething contempt and loathing for that man. every time he appeared on screen i felt ready to snap like a riled up chimpanzee in my enclosure. i am frothing at the mouth and overcome with a desire to start flinging heavy objects. this might be incoherent and inconsistent but i started this rewatch in feb 2020 and only finished this week so i got through 11′s episodes last august/september time and i refuse to revisit it to jog my memory or fact check anything i’m saying here because this man does not deserve the space in my mind for that.

the first thing is i can’t fucking STAND the quirky whimsy timey wimey bit he has going on all of the time. i can’t even say this is because this is a kids show and i was a teen and then adult when i first properly watched him but actually!! when i was eleven years old i’d sleep over at a friend’s house most weekends and it always coincided with the airing of a new season 5 episode and i remember we watched the finale with the dumb time hopping to get out of the box prison that was never explained and didn’t make sense and i thought at the time “this is really stupid”. and before that my only other doctor who exposure was watching the david tennant christmas specials with another friend and throughout childhood my only opinion on doctor who was “this is a tv show that is not for me but is one that all the boys i am friends with like so i will put up with it to maintain our friendships” but at least those episodes were both suspenseful and engaging enough to keep me watching all the way through. like who the fuck does an end of the world sci fi plot and approaches it with an “oopsy woopsy i am a funny little alien man who is going to stop you all by making you do a hecking silly” like it’s unneeded and self-parodies an already cheesy show to the point where it becomes unwatchable and makes it impossible to ever take this man seriously.

next thing that downright sucks ass so badly is the stupid fucking overwritten constantly escalating plotlines. like everything from season 5 up until his regeneration at the end of season 7 is meant to be this grand interconnected cosmic plot about how...the doctor trying to bring back his planet will end the universe or something so all the top powers across all of reality tried again and again to stop him from doing that except he doesn’t know what’s going on so he keeps thwarting these people who supposedly mean good?? i mean i sure don’t fucking know what they were trying to say!! like for some reason we never get the doctor suddenly becomes this superdemon that threatens everything so these people (whoever they are) decide to, in sequence: suck him through a time rift to erase him from existence, trap him in a prison and remake a universe without him, take his companion’s baby and turn her into a perfectly trained doctor killer, form two(!!) secret societies to hunt him throughout history that are only stopped by his companion splintering herself across his personal timeline to protect him, and repeatedly cause reality collapsing events because it’s a kinder outcome for the universe than what he will do. this grand and terrible event turns out to be...he spends a few hundred years chilling by a rift that leads to his home planet and protects a few generations of children from monsters which convinces them to give him infinite regeneration power then fuck off back to their pocket universe. and it’s like!! what is the point of anything that happens in this man’s era when everything is always “the darkest moment” or whatever the fuck!! i don’t care!! we never get a compelling reason to believe this bumbling clown of a man could ever be a universal threat!! the whole thing is so dumb i hate it!!!

thing number three i hate is how the eleventh doctor is ALSO characterised as this abrasive egotistic male supergenius to the point where he becomes genuinely indistinguishable from bbc sherlock. genuinely who enjoyed seeing this guy constantly tell people their tiny human minds can’t comprehend what he’s doing and then basically just wave his magic wand to solve whatever problem each episode is facing. 2012 is the year of human sin because this fucking shitsmear character archetype somehow became both a redditor role model AND a tumblr sexyman and it’s like!! nobody is enjoying this stop making this seem cool! him saying timey wimey thing any time he does anything is frustrating and dumb and locks the viewer out of giving a fuck about anything that is happening! smartest man in the room syndrome is a disease and the eleventh doctor is terminal with it. like remember how they established river as an accomplished scientist (when she wasn’t being a child soldier or a time paradox or whatever the fuck) and every time that came up mr doctor eleven man was like “oh this thing is obvious because i’m a genius and you didn’t realise because your brain is tiny so get out of the way and let the grownups think” or that time it turned out amy had been replaced with a slime clone for half the season and the doctor chewed rory (audience surrogate) out for somehow not realising this fact we didn’t know right from the start and like. this served no purpose other than to draw into severe question why the doctor is also this super beloved magical figure implicitly trusted by all children everywhere like. mr steven moffat is totally allergic to writing and solving mysteries in his tv show and fuck you for wanting to figure things out as you go along based on the new evidence you uncover at strategic plot intervals just let this asshole man use magical thinking to reveal he knew the answer all along and you’re a fucking idiot for not also realising this thing which had no basis or precedent anywhere else in the show.

speaking of dumb things let us not forget the absolute shitshow that was minority representation in this era. i’m not even talking about the low hanging fruit of how genuinely unironically sexist amy and clara were written where each episode moffat either seemed to loathe them or was incredibly horny over them and they had no character growth or arc or fucking anything. i’m talking about how fucking shit terrible the incidental representation was. god remember how every single fucking gay person who appeared in this era was written as one incredibly fucking stupid joke and how the women were all either sexy dominatrix, feeble girl in love, or Mother (or all three in some really terrible cases) and i’m not qualified to talk about this but also how incredibly white this era was and how on two separate occasions we had monarchs reimagined as sexy girlbosses with a gun played by black women who the doctor leched over. nothing about any of this was good ESPECIALLY coming off the back of rtd who was surprisingly forward thinking for 2005 and did a really good job of positing travel with the doctor as queer allegory. in comparison moffat gave us THE MOST heterosexual shlock i’ve ever had to endure. amy and rory could have been interesting characters were they not hemmed into this domestic bickering young straight married couple bullshit that was in no way changed or altered by traveling with the doctor except for the quasi incestuous river song reveal that was dumb and bad and stupid.

the last major mega gripe i have with the series is moffat’s fucking jingoistic boner for british military aesthetics. this carried over throughout his entire tenure as showrunner but was super terrible vomit inducing in eleven’s era. the unironic admiration for ww2 britain and winston churchill is downright wretched. are you incapable of telling a second world war story outside of churchill’s london and plucky blitz fighters. shit gives me hives so badly. and then!!! that weird church owned army that features in the future that end up being bad not for the concept of what basically amounts to an imperialistic intergalactic rendition of the fucking crusades but because they’re part of the nonsense go nowhere puzzlebox narrative that says the doctor is a not good man who will do bad things to the universe :(. remember how rtd’s doctor was a freshly traumatised man hot off the war criminal press who time and time again vehemently refuses to engage in military violence, but who tragically inadvertently turns every one of his companions into soldiers in his own personal army, and he has this moment of complete horror at the realisation and it is this which causes the downward spiral that ends in 10′s regeneration. and then how there’s this cringe line about how there’s a force of people who are “the doctor’s army, always ready to fight his battles when he’s not around” or some shit and then it turns out this is actually massive literal military operation and we’re meant to celebrate this. fuck off.

bonus round because this needs to be said but i have never hated anything like i hated that fucking human tardis episode. everything about it induced violent anger in me from the sickening overindulgence of that softgoth dark whimsy helena bonham carter tim burton aesthetic to the bafflingly terrible evil carny stereotype of those junk scavengers to the overblown sudden tragic shipbait romance of human tardis and the doctor. every word out of her mouth was trite shit and the fact that the death of her body was presented as this super emotional dramatic scene despite there being no buy in or incentive to care and the fact that every single person on tumblr in 2012 ate that shit up like it was fucking gourmet. i loathe every single thing about that episode so much.

#Anonymous #hi bestie here's 1500 words of me getting mad about the worst television experience i had in my life #why the FUCK was this man tumblr's favourite back in the day. what the fuck did anyone see in any of this shit #i never want to think about dr whom ever again

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #446

“so you can throw me to the wolves  /  tomorrow i will come back, leader of the whole pack”

Favourite cheese? American. Superman or Batman? I know literally nothing of Superman, but I like Batman. Who are your best friends? The only person I consider a best friend is Sara. Name the 3 most important people in your life: My mom, Sara, and... I suppose myself since I cherish my mental health VERY deeply. Are you currently learning from anyone how to play any instruments? No. Do you know anyone who is overly flirty with people? Girl or a boy? In my personal opinion, yes. I do believe it's possible to be "overly" flirty, considering you can really lead people on. It's a she. Do you believe vampires are real? Not the stereotypical Twilight kind. No. Have you ever been to a porn website? Were you addicted to it afterword? No. I'm really not into that. What is the most disgusting thing you think the opposite sex can do? I think the most disgusting thing anyone can do is commit rape. Would you rather be able to teleport or freeze time? Which one seems best? I feel teleportation is obviously more convenient and useful in dangerous situations. Have you seen the movie Twister? Did the tornadoes look real to you? LKJFL;AKSDJFKLASJDLFKA;WE NOOOOOOOOOO. I am WAY too terrified of tornadoes to watch that. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Hurricane Floyd was pretty devastating. I was too young to really remember it, though. Did your mom ever fix your eggs and bacon into a smiley face as a kid? She probably did. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? BOJANGLE'S, AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you believe one day aliens might take over the planet Earth? I mean, it's possible, but I don't know. Do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? I didn't know they stopped. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I couldn't possibly care less, it's a natural bodily function. Just because of societal standards though, I don't burp in public, though, but only around family and close friends. What is one kind of music you’d do anything to not listen to in the car? Anything like rap that has a STUPIDLY loud bass that just annoys everyone within a ten mile radius. When was the last time you babysat, if ever? Did anything bad happen? A year or two ago, for my nephew. No one else was free to watch him, so I had no choice. Nothing bad happened, besides nearly having a panic attack. Do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? Or is that weird? No. Even Sara and I don't do it, because I'm too self-conscious of how I look. Even though she's seen me plenty before irl. Would you ever consider becoming a scientist? Why would you or why not? Well, I majored in biology briefly... I wanted to be a wildlife biologist. I just adore animals and thought I could do it. I just couldn't handle school. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not especially close to any of my cousins. Are you really into vintage things? Have you ever been into that stuff? Yessss! is writing something that you enjoy doing? Definitely. Would you rather read or write? Write. Would you rather draw or take photographs? If I wind up being very proud of the product, I prefer drawing, but I take pictures far more. When was the last time you cheated at something? I have no clue. Has anyone ever copied off of your homework assignments? I think so? Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ... *stares at my folder labelled "Mark"* What would you consider your favorite holiday? Why is this? Christmas. I love the whole vibe of it. The weather, the smells, the treats, my niece's and nephew's excitement... I adore all the lights and decorations, the gratefulness for family and your loved ones in general... I just love Christmas. If you’re a girl, do you have big hips? Too big? I'd say my hips are normal. Girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? God no. Not anymore. Have you ever taken a pottery class before? Nope. How many times have you seen Star Wars? Be honest. Once. I didn't like it. Has your best friend ever made you cry? Yes. But in her defense, we've both made the other cry. Have you ever entered a talent competition? God no, I ain't got shit to flaunt. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yes. If you wear eye shadow, do you put on a dark colour or a light? And if you wear mascara, what colour is it? I only ever wear black for both of those. What is your favourite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My Markiplier tattoo, actually. What do you think of your best friend’s ex? One I REALLY don't like, the other I'm neutral about. Are you biracial? No. Do you have Pop-Tarts in your house right now? No. We try to not buy them, given they're just TOTALLY empty calories. They don't fill me at all. Is anyone’s birthday coming up? No. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? I LOVE sour candy. Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Alaska, to see the Northern Lights. Do you usually wear sunglasses when you’re driving? I haven't driven in well over a year. Hell, maybe two. But no, because I'd need prescription sunglasses. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? God no. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yeah. What time do you usually have dinner? 5:30-6:30, usually. What’s your favourite meat? Chicken, I think. What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Breakfast. I just enjoy breakfast foods. What colour is your shampoo? White. Tell me a silly little old wive’s tale you believed when you were a child: My older sister got me to believe that if you said a word a ridiculous amount of times, it'd be the only word you knew how to say anymore, lmao. Shut up, I was little. What was the last magazine you bought? Do you subscribe to any? I don't buy magazines. Whose Facebook profile did you last look at? Was there anything that caught your attention? Uh, that's a good question. Do you regret your last relationship? Not at all. What’s better, mashed potatoes or sweet potatoes? Mashed potatoes, though I'm picky with them and the texture. Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes, or pie with your grandma? No. Do you like kids? Not especially. They ask too many questions and can be really rude, even though I know they usually don't mean to be. What are you listening to? I'm watching Gab Smolders play Dino Crisis 2. I finished her playthrough of Final Fantasy X, so now I feel a void in my soul that I am trying to fill with a new series lmao. Do you burn incense? Not really anymore. I'm not against it, I just... haven't. What is your favorite kind of cracker? Cheese-Itz. Can you name a single song by Billy Joel without looking it up? Yeah; I can name a few, actually. My dad loves Billy Joel, so I heard him a lot growing up. "Piano Man" is a classic. Do you like regular peppermint candy canes, or do you prefer different flavored ones [fruits, bubble gum, cinnamon, etc.]? I actually really like the Jolly Rancher ones. Have you ever been kissed while sitting atop the hood of a car? That's actually possible... but I'm not sure. I think I have a faint memory of lying on a car hood with Jason before. What do you think is the dumbest/tackiest piercing? I don't like calling a piercing either of those, like if they make someone feel more confident and attractive, good for them. I can say I'm personally not a fan of the smiley piercing, though. Have you ever requested a song on the radio? No. When I was a kid at a birthday party, though, one of the girls did. Does your mother still take care of you if you get ill? She helps a lot, yeah. What is one song that always brings back memories every time you hear it? Honestly, too many. I attach way too aggressively to songs. Do you currently have any pimples? Not currently, no. Did anything disturb your sleep at all last night? Ugh, yes. I couldn't sleep for shit. How does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? I have only seen one picture of Jason with the girl he dated after me and it. Set. Me. On. Fucking. Fire. It's pathetic. If you’re not in college, why? All it did was give me emotional breakdowns. What do you think about MTV? I am way too out of the loop on what goes on on any TV channel to answer this. What was your very first day of your very first job like? What’d you do? How long did it take you to get the hang of it, and feel comfortable with working? This was waaaay too long ago... All I remember is actually being hopeful, though nervous. I never got to the point of feeling comfortable there. Or at any job. If you have a dog, are they friendly to strangers or other dogs? We don't have a dog, but we do have a cat that is EXTREMELY skittish around strangers. Someone he doesn't know comes through the door? He's bolting to hide. Do people ever comment on or joke about your driving? Well, I got flipped off once by a driver, so... I'd consider that a silent comment. I, to this day, don't know why they (it was a group of guys) did it, but it's stuck with me. What was the last thing to move you? Are you easily moved or inspired? The ending of FFX alsdkfjkaljlkwjer. And yes. If you`ve ever seen your very favorite band, did you cry when you saw them? Was it like a dream come true? If you`ve never seen them, do you think you would? I haven't, but I probably would a little bit. Of all the reality competitions you’ve watched, who are some of your all-time favorite contestants and what shows were they from? From America's Got Talent, I adore(d) Landau Eugene Murphy Jr., as well as Prince Poppycock. I keep up with them both on Facebook. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? One of my closest online friends was Alex. A couple years ago she just... got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the earth. Are you happy with your relationship status? I mean... no, I'm ridiculously lonely, but being single is for the best right now. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just ketchup and mustard. Have you ever been in a spelling bee? No. What is the most annoying thing that your parents do? Mom absolutely always assumes she's right. Dad repeats himself like CRAZY. Would you say you’re someone who has good manners? Yes. Did you parents know what gender you were before you were born? Actually, the doctors couldn't determine mine (or any of Mom's kids') because my legs were ALWAYS crossed when they did ultrasounds. Mom says she "knew" I was a girl, though. Have you ever been addicted to something unhealthy? I'm addicted to caffeine, yes. Who makes the best desserts in your entire family? Hm, I dunno. Do you have good dreams or nightmares more? I have very severe sleep apnea that results in very violent nightmares almost any time I sleep without my APAP mask. Even WITH the damn mask, I have them a lot. When was the last time someone insulted you? What was the insult? *shrug* Do you have trouble reading small fonts? Yes. I used to find it aesthetically pleasing, but my vision is just too bad now, even with my (shitty) glasses. Do you know anybody that believes that magic/witchery truly exists? I think so. Do you find watching animals in their natural habitat to be exciting & fascinating? Absolutely!! The last time you had sex: did you want it, or did the other person want it? ... You know it's supposed to be a mutual desire, right?? What does your sibling(s) call you? "Britt." Has anyone you’ve known claimed to be psychic? Maybe? I'm unsure. Did/do you believe them? Hell no. I don't believe in psychics and believe people who claim to be so are manipulative pieces of shit. Is anything annoying you right now? I am bored to an inexplicable level askldjfla;wejlr. Have you ever worn a pair of scrubs? Yeah. Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? No. Have you ever felt abandoned? Well yes. By definition, my dad abandoned our family. Where are you? I’m in my bed. What’s been the worst part of this day? I've just been so, so bored. I'm sick and fucking tired of dealing with anhedonia. Who last encouraged you to better yourself? My therapist.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''throne'' by bring me the horizon

[bellamygateoldblog]

THE 100 7X07 LIVEBLOG

Warning: Long. I’m sorry. I was excited.

• First thought, I'm being forced to watch without subtitles & and it might just be me but these actors are impossible to understand on the first listen.

• "The shepherd teaches us that winning the last war brings upon the final evolution of a species" so....aliens? ALIE? Ascending into a 'higher' form of existence meaning either life after death (ALIE style) or these people want to become Gods?

• They "believe in transcendence" so i must be on the right lines.

• Bardo have "different plans" for the two killers. Void!Echo might be cominggggg.

• "Death is life" / "may we meet again" / "death is not the end" — "winning the last war brings upon the final evolution of a species"???? I’ve connected the dots.

• I'm sorry but all this hyper-focus on Clarke and being "The Key to everything" is kinda embarassing me, like 😳 it's just so odd. That this alien cult from another part of the galaxy/universe is fixated on this random teenager born on a space station around Earth. I know, I know it's to do with Becca's tech, but it's still very much sounding like the "super important special protagonist" trope which I hate and until that detail about the code/tech is revealed it will continue to make me rme. LMAO.

• "Rise and shine errand boy" OK MA.

• Indra is out looking for their friends which confirms LGBT wrath squad literally told nobody they were leaving, and since Gaia was kidnapped, there's no news from them at all.

• Emori trying desperately to help Murphy stay out of hell. At first I thought she was reassuring him, but she was explaining why he needs to do these “errands,” because she believes in his ‘vision’ of hell last season.

• "besides [Murphy's] worshipped me for years."

• Memori is the inverse of Bellarke. There, I said it.

• "You don't know me very well-" / "i know you went into that tavern to save a child at great risk to yourself..." is the pretty much the exact same scene as Murphy's with Luna in s4: "you don't know me very well" / "I know you stole medicine to save [a child]..."

• Luna's spirit followed them across the galaxy/universe this season.

• I don't know anything about chess but the fear on Murphy's face when Slim Sheidy moved his Queen makes me think Emori is in danger this season for as long as he's still alive.

• Echo indirectly preaching "love is strength"

• "You don't talk about yourself much and you're a shapeshifter"

• Dude maybe Echo really is getting an arc this season.

• "Bellamy this isn't real" implies she's had to shut “this” down before, and that there's been something between them for a while. And Bellamy literally shut her up with a kiss, telling her and us that she’s being silly. Also, Echo was the one putting it off.

• Tall girlfriend short boyfriend rights!

• The shot of the ring becoming Echo's eye. Oh my GOD.

• "I know you're in pain Echo, I feel it" what a dumb fuck thing to say LMAO what gave it away?????? The way I'm crying right now in front of you??????

• "I'm the monster from Hope's bedtime stories"

• Octavia:

• WE'RE VOCALISING THE PARALLEL NOW HUH?!

• Octavia is telling EVERYONE else what we already knew. The parallel was NEVER to Finn. It was to Octavia. After Lincoln died. TELL EM.

• "I wish I hugged him instead"

• Octecho Murphamy parallel oh jesus.

• Octavia is like "no Murphy Echo! I'm not letting you go until you admit you're not useless! it's not your fault!"

• Octavia telling Echo love is the answer, love is what she needs, not death or violence. Love is strength. Here we go bitches.

• "YOU'RE MY FAMILY TOO"

• !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “YOU’RE ONE OF THE HUNDRED”

• Am i actually right with all these Echo theories i’ve had? I’m feeling so validated.

• It’s a shame none of these scenes will be edited and made into gifsets by fandom the way other Clarke/bellarke/anti-Echo-centred ones have been them with their none-existent Finn ‘parallel’ lmaooooo, because nobody cares for Echo and Octavia.

• Everyone is yelling for Echo. I feel that.

• Diyoza is checking her nails. I feel that too.

• "THAT'S DISHES YOUNG LADY" ajaksjajsjskasjsjdkskdjdj

• I'm so sad we're back in Sanctum😔😔😔

• Emori is fr pregnant.

• Are we really doing a sexism thing, here with Shiedheda and Murphy? I thought those things didn't exist anymore?🤔

• "how you respond to the loss of your Queen will tell me which you are (a leader or a follower)" — I'm going to be unhappy if Emori dies just so Murphy can become a "leader" by the end. Don’t. Especially not after this conversation about “not liking women very much.”

• Well there goes that theory of Hope favouring Murphy from the stories because she was told he was similar to her father. Sigh.

• "I like you John, you amuse me" is a pretty good way of summarising how his character has been used this season.

• "Everyone I ever loved was killed fighting in wars. Some that didn't need to be fought"

• "I LIKE OUR CHANCES" callback.

• Men who?

• "Violence and rage will only destroy your soul"

• “Revenge is a game with no winners” motherly advice vs “They loved people too. Where does it end?” / “it doesn’t end here. I don’t believe in karma” motherly advice.

• These quotes are making me nervous about void!Echo. I hope she gets brought back from the dark eventually. Or makes the dark her bitch.

• This Diyoza-Hope scene looks paralleled to the Octecho one! Thus Echo also wants to "go back to the way things were."

• "They took my mommy away" — Like ‘they’ took Octavia's and Echo's. Two other warrior women in the same group. Clarke dealt with the loss of hers. Madi with the loss of hers. There’s Gaia and Indra’s strained relationship. Emori + being cast out by her parents. The child sacrifices. Murphy + Sheidheda’s mother throwing him in the conclave meaning he doesn’t like women. Is this season about mommy issues?

• A little confused why he’s talking about Lexa as if she directly stole his legacy. Wasn’t he in power when Indra was a child?

• Octavia is laying there staring at a blank book.

• I'm dying at Octavia monologing, completely oblivious to Echo cutting her face with broken glass behind her. LMAO. She's become so accustomed to Echo's whimpering she's not even phased anymore.

• Dying again at Echo out of nowhere just going DO YOU KNOW WHY AZGEDA WARRIORS SCAR THEIR OWN FACES?

• Octavia, again:

• "We do it to symbolize that the pain is over. The wound is healed."

• That's such a good explanation. And here begins Echo's healing journey. As her wounds heal over the next few episodes so will she. And by the end her scars will symbolise that journey.

• Here Echo goes again being the smartest person in the room, always. "We're not prisoners, we're recruits."

• Tasya is making me super uncomfortable with the jittery, eery way Echo is moving around. I love it.

• The way Echo casually saunters out of the fucking room with not a single care in the world oh she knowsssss. AJDKSHFJSF

• Echo leading again!!! Making the decisions. Octavia following after her (literally) and backing her.

• "This is how my people show they're ready to go to war" — making everyone extremely uncomfortable and I love that for her. Also, "my people."

• Embracing her Azgeda-ness.

• Octavia understanding and jumping in to aid Echo's plan combined with the close-up of Echo's determined abliet slightly unhinged expression makes me believe Echo is leaning into her "spy" along with her Azgeda and going undercover, making them believe she's on their side when she's not. But there's still a part of me thinking Echo is spiraling and is going to war out of habit and because she feels she has nowhere else to go/ "no home." Aka, the detail to finish off the S7 O/E parallels: "this is who I am" / "I'm here for the war."

• Furthermore, her scarring herself could be a callback to Octavia telling Ilian to help her feel something.

• I love this season a lot.

• Back in Sanctum again😒

• How does a chess game take all fucking DAY?

• OH 🙂 That's how.

• Yeah it makes absolutely no sense Raven would ask about Octavia before Echo.

• Raven looking at Clarke when finding out Bellamy's dead as if she isn't the only one there who's his actual family, who spent 6 entire years with him + more. Raven Clarke-Prop Reyes strikes again.

• Clarke's like *sad confusion*

• The scene of Clarke finding out about Bellamy's death didn't feel so much about her as it did "well what does this mean for them now?"

• "From the ashes we will rise" becomes "from the ashes, through the bridge, the shepherd will rise" Gotta say, not as catchy.

• "please call me Bill" - No. No Bill. Only Cadogan.

• We're going back to Earth this season aren't we?

#the 100 s7 #the 100 7x07

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

#anime i can't imagine life without #natsume yuujinchou #assassination classroom #inuyasha #black butler #detective conan #whump #chrono crusade #ghost hunt #yu yu hakusho #the devil is a part-timer #kodocha #long post is long

[thefloatingstone]

MST3K Recommendations for people who’ve never watched it

So if you’re somebody on the internet under the age of 22 there’s a chance you may have HEARD people talk about Mystery Science Theater 3000 or “MST3K” for short, and may even know exactly what it is, but you’ve not watched it and have no idea where to start. Or if you’ve never heard of it, this is me telling you you should probably watch it.

In the early to mid 2000s, when the only people on the internet where nerds and teenagers who were nerds (like literally. I have no idea how to explain to the Today’s Kids(tm) that the internet use to ONLY consist of nerdy people and fandoms. None of this “Influencer” shit.) Anyway, back when the internet was just nerds, before video was easily available, MST3K was still being talked about via audio clips, usually made by holding microphones right up to the TV, and when youtube launched in 2006, some of the very first videos were MST3K episodes cut up into 10 parts (because originally you couldn’t upload videos to youtube that were longer than 10 minutes and they had to be 240dp). And before google bought youtube, you could find full, complete episodes of MST3K on Google video.

It’s kind of a staple if you’re a nerdy internet person, and you’ll probably see it get referenced by fandom people and youtubers in their late 20s a LOT. Or use some of the things MST3K introduced in their own videos (like the Stinger after the credits for instance)

So MST3K is kind of essential viewing imo. And luckily, because of the nature of the show, unlike... basically EVERYTHING tv related, sharing links of MST3K is actually actively and honestly encouraged by the show creators.

The show ran from 1989 to 1999, changing from airing on one channel to another as it went (I’m not American so I never caught it on TV). And at the end of literally every single episode throughout its entire 10 year run, you would see this after the credits;

The show actively encouraged its audience to tape the episodes to video and share those videos with friends and family. This is because the show was never about “building a franchise” or becoming monetarily valuable for its creators, but it was about people actually watching the show. Even to this day, with copyright claims and “Subscribe to our streaming service to watch this show” running rampant, MST3K continues to be a show whose prime focus is to get people to watch it. (unless you want to buy it on DVD in which case the prime focus is for you to be rich to try and afford them because they’re like $70 for 4 episodes).

As such, some episodes are available for free on the MST3K official youtube channel completely for free. Some episodes you can buy from the Rifftrax website (which is where the show creators now work, doing basically the same thing as MST3K minus the puppets and host segments unfortunately) but I would be honestly shocked if ANY episode is unavailable online because sharing the episodes is.... just kind of the point of the show? I literally managed to find each and every one in 2008 (although that dark drive doesn’t want to work with my newer laptop so I might have to download all the episodes AGAIN. Thanks Technology...)

But if you’re somebody who has NO IDEA which episodes are “the good ones” or you just want to jump in and watch but you’re scared you’ll get a complete dud as your first experience and then not know what all the fuss is about, or you just want to know some good episodes to watch, I decided to throw together a list, along with links.

And with that VERY lengthy intro out of the way, here we go!

In no order

The Touch of Satan Year: 1971 S09E08 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain guy and Bobo

Despite the movie title there is no Satan in the film. A baffling movie where a good looking “All American Boy” named Jodie drives through a small town while road tripping from Texas to San Fransisco. There he meets a really pretty girl named Melissa who lives with who she claims is her mother and father on a walnut farm, as well as her insane grandmother. For seemingly nonsensical reasons (other than he’s attracted to Melissa) Jodie decides to spend the night at the farm. Eventually he gets pulled into the family curse and learn just who Melissa really is (It’s not Satan).

The movie is incredibly stupid and WOULD be pretty bland if not for the absolutely ridiculous dialogue, bizarre little details you can’t help but focus on (why a Walnut farm? Why is the father always so sweaty??) and just how.... 70s everything is.

Mike and the bots are super on point with their jokes, and it has a few of my favourite jokes and host segments in it.

https://youtu.be/ZebKhabJItE

Gamera Year: 1965 S03E02 Host: Joel Mads: Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank

Look. If you’re gonna watch MST3K you’re gonna have to watch a Gamera movie eventually. And since I could literally put ANY of the Gamera films here, I’m gonna start with the first one. Especially since the following Gamera movies the host and bots have running jokes and references to the first films.

Gamera is a Japanese Kaiju movie franchise originally created to compete with Godzilla. And completely misses the point of Godzilla. Whereas Godzilla was originally intended to be a metaphor of Atomic weaponry and Japan’s national wound following the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki... Gamera is about a giant flying turtle monster who is friend to all children.

....and I friggen LOVE Gamera. It’s because of MST3K’s episodes that I ended up buying a DVD boxset of every single Gamera movie. It’s good stuff. Start with this episode and watch the others as you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rly_1NPCXAM

Pod People Year: 1983 S03E03 Host: Joel Mads: Dr Forrester and TV’s Frank

This is MANY people’s favourite episode in the whole show, and was my favourite as well until I couldn’t pick a favourite any more. However this is the only episode of the show where I had to pause it the first time I watched it at one part because I was laughing so hard.

Originally intended to be an alien slasher movie, the producers asked the director Juan Piquer Simon to include a subplot where a cute child makes friends with one of the aliens so that they could market the movie as an E.T. rip off (E.T. had come out the year before) If you think this would make the tone of the movie confusing where half the aliens are killing off teenagers and half the aliens are being friends with a small, badly dubbed child... you are absolutely right. But it’s the Host segments and jokes within the film that make this one of the top 5 best episodes in the whole show, if not top 3.

It is the episode that people will most commonly reference even 30 years later.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCl2ZNkfnS8

Jack Frost Year: 1964 S08E13 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo

One of the many badly Russian films that deserved much better than the shitty dub they got. I was THIS CLOSE to putting “The Day the Earth Froze” here instead, but I felt Jack Frost is the easier watch of the two (however I do recommend checking out The Day the Earth Froze as well).

Honestly, this film isn’t that bad at all. It’s shitty dub is a shame but even with the silly voices and calling Baba Yaga “The Hunchbacked Fairy” for reasons I will never understand, the film is actually pretty charming, and if I had it on video as a kid I probably would have really liked it.  It’s a classic fairy tale about a pretty and kind young girl who is treated badly by her stepmother and stepsister, but she finds true love in a handsome prince who had been turned into a bear until he could learn humility. Also Jack Frost is there (I have no idea who he’s suppose to be in the original language of the film and I doubt its Jack Frost). The movie is innocent and weird and overacted and the main character of Nastenka is so pretty and big eyed and innocent it’s an easy target for jokes on just how silly and whimsical everything is. The jokes are never outright mean spirited or nasty, just in line with the whole silly movie, and honestly this is a great episode to introduce your kids to the show as it’s not scary and doesn’t have any gore (like some of the other films showcased)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVpOaeBtr7w

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies Year: 1964 S08E12 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy, Bobo

Yes. That is the real title of the movie. And it is also the most exciting thing about it. This movie is..... incomprehensible, to say the least. I am only BARELY aware of what the fuck it’s even about. There’s a fortune teller on the amusement park wharf? And I remember a terrifying robot monkey asking people to buy tickets, and the main character (I use the term loosely) becomes evil? I’m sorry but this movie is so cut to ribbons in editing and has so little dialogue it’s barely even a movie. It’s held together by the thinnest threads of recurring images. However, unlike some of the other episodes in MST3K with the same problem of barely being movies, I find the jokes by the hosts land much better and they’re not in as agonizing pain as “The Beast of Yucca Flats” which I still consider the worst movie I have ever seen in my life.

I have no way to describe this movie. It’s not even crazy enough to garner enthusiastic “this movie is batshit insane” praise. Watch this one for the jokes by the hosts. And for the title so you can tell people “I watched a movie called The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jLGqN3XG-Q

Eegah Year: 1962 S05E06 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

Ugh. This movie. Ok. “Starring” Arch Hall Jr. who was a sort of actor and one of those 60s “teen heart throb” singers before boy bands became a thing after the Beatles. He never made it super big, but it was considered a big selling point to films he was in (he went on to being an airline pilot and good for him). This movie is about him and his girlfriend his girlfriend’s father finding a giant caveman in the desert outside their town (in a cave which is NOT made of burlap sacks). The giant caveman falls in love with the girlfriend and follows them to the suburbs.

It’s not the most remarkable movie MST3K ever did. It’s not the best movie they ever did nor is it the worst movie they ever did, but for some reason this film has a tendency to stick in people who watch MST3K’s minds. Maybe the jokes are just THAT quotable, but for whatever reason, it’s one of the staple episodes to watch. And hey, at least the movie is WATCHABLE. MST3K went on to reference things in this film for the rest of the show’s history.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvFBKsW3Aew

Santa Claus Year: 1959 S5E21 Host: Mike Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

A Mexican movie about Santa Claus and his friend Merlin who live on the moon and watch the children of Earth through a telescope to make sure they’re all being good. We focus on the devil Pitch who is sent by Satan to make children misbehave, most noteably a 4 year old girl named Lupita who is from a poor family and wishes she had a pretty doll to play with, and a rich little boy who wishes his parents would spend Christmas with him.

This movie is.... weird. In case the whole “Santa and Merlin are friends and live on the moon” thing didn’t already tip you off. The movie’s pretty harmless overall but it’s just WEIRD. Santa’s castle on the moon is full of children from all over the world wearing the most stereotypical clothes of all time (Japanese children in full kimono, American children all dressed as cowboys, African children dressed in tribal clothes etc etc) and they.... I think they make the toys? I’m not sure. Santa’s reindeer are terrifying wind up toys who laugh maniacally when they’re turned on. There’s a giant mouth on the wall that’s part of Santa’s computer? And an ear that can hear what all the children are saying on earth or something?

It’s just... it’s bizarre. And an excellent episode to watch for Christmas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTWs3zvz1z4

War of the Colossal Beast Year: 1958 S03E19 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

I am recommending this one not actually for the movie itself, but for the short which plays first, which is “Mr. B Natural” and which is easily the best and most referenced MST3K short in the whole show.

It follows a little boy who wishes he was cool. He’s visited by Mr. B Natural, the spirit of music. Mr. B Natural is played by Betty Luster and is a bizarre character in himself, being completely androgynous and using male pronouns while being played very obviously by a woman with a very obviously female voice. Mr. B is presented as a sort of pixie character and possibly meant to be like the stage version of Peter Pan which is also traditionally played by adult women. The episode of MST3K aired in 1991 LONG before the concept of Non-binary was even a thing. As such MST3K plays along with the weirdness that is Mr. B, using only male pronouns for him and addressing him as a man, while also commenting on how attractive he is.

Mr. B teaches our little boy main character that if he wants to be cool he needs to buy a trumpet and join the school’s band, and goes on to be one of the most beloved MST3K “characters” who they often keep making references to and who shows up in the host segments now and then as a cameo.

Oh. And then there’s a movie following the short that’s a sequel to another movie. It’s about a man who keeps growing larger and larger in size but the bigger he gets the more he loses his intelligence. It’s directed by the notorious “Bert I. Gordon” whose movies are always more vehicles for cheap special effects than story, plot or characters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRL8umsMe28

Squirm Year: 1976 S10E12 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brian Guy and Bobo

I am a little biased towards Squirm because I’m pretty sure it was the very first MST3K episode I ever saw (not counting the short “Are you Ready for Marriage?” which was the first anything MST3K that I saw). But even if it wasn’t I think Squirm is still a great episode to check out, and it comes with the double whammy of having the short “a Case of Spring Fever” in front of the film which, if they had the short in an earlier season, would definitely have become a running joke throughout the show. Sadly They only aired it here in the 10th season, but even being in the last season, it’s one of the show’s most famous shorts they’ve done.

As for the film, it’s actually pretty great too. It takes place in Georgia and is SUPER southern to a point of coming across as a parody almost. Our main character is the boyfriend of a local girl, a “city boy” who she met antiquing (a hobby they both share and talk about a lot throughout the film). However, a powerful electrical storm struck the small town a few nights ago, and as a result, it has turned all the earthworms underground into blood thirsty, violent predators (without actually growing in size). The movie is a silly and ridiculous B-Movie, but honestly a LOT of the effects are pretty damn impressive. Before he made it big in Rocky, Sylvester Stallone really wanted a role in the film but didn’t get it. All the worms in the film are real, and bought from the bait and fishing industry. So many worms were used in this film that they completely used up the entire New England’s bait supplies for the whole year following the shooting of the film.

Erm... so don’t watch it if you’re squeemish about bugs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3msPmLpLTUM

Merlin’s Shop of Mystical Wonders Year: 1996 S10E03 Host: Mike Mads: Pearl, Brain Guy and Bobo

omfg this movie X’D this fucking movie.

Ok. So what kind of movie do you expect with a title like that and if I tell you it starts off with a grandfather telling his grandson a story about how Merlin’s magic is real and has come to benefit mankind and help others?

You’re probably expecting some whimsical fantasy low budget Princess Bride knock off, right? This is exactly what the film THINKS it is, too. It THINKS it’s a magical child friendly story about magic and Merlin and him and his wife running a shop that sells magical items to better the lives of others.

So it’s kind of a fucking problem that the stories in this movie are based off of Stephen King horror Novellas!!!

And that’s basically all you need to know about why this movie is kind of a disaster. It thinks it’s an all ages magical romp when in reality it’s a horrifying double feature of pet deaths (warning for a dog dying in the second story) an abusive husband (warning for domestic abuse in the first story) and demonic powers.

Also, despite the film being made in 1996, the second story uses footage from the director’s earlier film “The Devil’s Gift” which was made in 1984. As a result, despite the 1996 release, the child in this part of the movie is playing with Star Wars toys and wearing an E.T. shirt through most of it.

This movie also has one of my favourite jokes by Mike right at the end of the film.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Q-RuAx4V4

Ah crap that’s already 10 movies and I haven’t even mentioned “Werewolf” or “Puma Man”. dkfhskdhfks Go watch Puma Man and Werewolf!! They’re great!

and finally, special mention;

Manos: the hands of fate

Year: 1966 S04E24 Host: Joel Mads: Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank

The great grandpappy of ALL the MST3K episodes. Of all the episodes they’ve ever done and all the movies and shorts they ever covered, Manos is the one that crawled under the skin of the hosts and the audience the most. Many people say it’s the very worst film they ever did EVER. As I said, I personally think the Beast of Yucca Flats is much worse if only because it’s painfully boring, but in terms of sheer “this is so fucking bad I can’t even process this”, I guess Manos wins. Being terrible because you’re boring is one thing. Being terrible because you’re completely batshit insane is another.

The story BEHIND the movie Manos is fascinating. Made when the creator of the film made a bet with a friend that he could make a movie despite never having done anything with film before, he went ahead and did it, with a screening and a premiere and everything. The actor playing Torgo was high on LSD the entire time of filming. The Camera used to shoot the film got so hot they could only film 30 seconds for each scene before they had to cut to a new one. The entire movie was filmed without sound and dubbed afterwards. The actor who was going to play the main character broke his leg before filming started and had to be replaced last second.

The movie is indescribable. It is PAIN and it is SUFFERING and it is BAFFLING and you should really build up a resistance to bad movies before attempting to watch this episode. I do NOT recommend starting your MST3K viewing with this one. But eventually, if you like MST3K, you’re gonna have to watch it. There’s just no escaping it.

The only way I can properly explain what Manos is like is to quote Crow who comments in the opening credits (which the film but forgot to put the actual credits over) “Every frame of this movie looks like someone’s last known photograph.”

And that’s it. That’s the whole movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ5baft7Kv0

I forgot to add my links!

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#MST3K #Mystery Science Theater 3000 #Keep Circling the Tapes #long post #links #Gifs #youtube #recommendations

[merrysithmas]

you may have talked about this before but do you believe boris already knew he was queer and first approached theo bc he liked him or that he started crushing after they developed a close friendship and theo was what made him question his sexuality? i think theres reasons to believe either side- boris being bold enough to cuddle him in bed seems like he was making a move but him suddenly “loving” kotku seems like an impulsive move out of fear bc he realized he might like a boy. oof idk

I think Boris knew he was attracted to boys — which is evident by his playful, charming, almost teenaged-desperate pursuit of Theo. I think he probably inherently knew this about himself for a long time. I think Boris has always been physically attracted to boys since he’s entered puberty and since he’s still a young teen it is kind of a fun, funny, interesting, enlivening thing for him.

He’s never had a stable life and despite being all over the world he’s led an extremely sheltered existence in a certain way with only one terrible person as his constant (Vladimir). Boris lets it slip to Theo that everywhere the miners go they are hated — this includes Boris. Boris is hated by the public everywhere they go. So long as he is part of their unit, he is hated. That is mortifying to intelligent good-natured Boris. That is why he learns to slip out and around, to be so personable and friendly. His world travels have not been so glorious but probably rather extremely lonely and isolating (as with Judy in Canada), hurtful, and damaging. That is why Bami and Judy (and eventually, Theo) stand out to him so much — people who were kind to him in a childhood of isolated misery and directionlessness. Boris has no moral hang ups about his same-sex attraction - why should he? This directionlessness in his key developmental years is also a good thing: He never grew up around any sort of organized belief systems or stayed bound within an orthodox culture for too long for it to indoctrinate him as its own.

I think people really underestimate how incredibly remote and friendless Boris’ life must have been. Boris is a cheerful boy who Theo says is often plagued by black moods and sullen attitudes. He is an abused and secluded child dragged from location to location with literally no love or stability and constantly brutally beaten to the point where it does not even phase him. Boris actually equates love with that abuse — and nonchalantly claims his father loves him. That is painful to read, that amount of damage.

Living with a bunch of derelict miners whose leader was HIS FATHER (so surely then mostly assholes) and who are “hated everywhere they go” Boris has probably seen any NUMBER of things a conservative-minded person would (likely often erroneously) see as “morally unacceptable” — it’s like Boris is traveling the world with a crew of pirates. He’s probably seen drinking, all kinds of drugs commonly used in front of his face. He has esoteric knowledge about drug use that a child of his age should not — so he was taught by the miners: roll like this, dont include the stems, never mix this, tuck snuff like this, you can get this kind of drug here here and here, it isn’t safe if it doesn’t look like this. His young child’s mind eager to learn sucked up this black information from men who probably didn’t have a second thought to a child or what his developmental needs were. He’s probably first hand witnessed sex workers copulating with his father’s crew (how else would be have learned about the opportunity to lose his virginity in an Alaskan parking lot to a sex worker?), definitely thievery, and said he saw his father murder a man in the mine once and cover it up. Boris’ mind is full of a lifetime of this morally shadowed behavior being presented as normal, or at least secret but common.

I think he understands his attraction to boys in this same way. I think he feels it isn’t “appropriate” to share with Outsiders but it is something that Happens, something that is no one’s business but his own, and something that brings him pleasure and happiness and therefore something he will look for. However he knows it isn’t common or visible or “appropriate” to be showy about it in front of others — especially not people who could judge him (kids at school), kick him out (society), or hurt him (his father). Boris treats his attraction to Theo like his other vices and “bad” habits - barrels head first — but secret: deep dive into happy drug use (but don’t show his dad), steals everything he ever needs (but don’t let them see, put it in my coat), lies when it suits him (lies to Xandra and Larry and his father and Theo too), happily sleeps with Theo and has sex with him (but this is between you-and-me).

He knows other people might have a problem with his actions — but he does not. So that’s his hangup there. He is aware of and ever-vigilant of his surroundings. School: a safe place isolated from his father. He is free and happy to do what he wants at school — including crush on and go after Theo who he clearly likes. He thinks Theo is cute, flirts with him, tries to get him to notice him, talks to him after class, sits next to him on the bus, begs him to come over his house, tries to impress him with far-flung stories, gives him alcohol because it’s what he’s seen his father’s men do in pursuit of romantic partners or as a bonding ritual with one another.

Theo’s house is also a safe place. So safe in fact that Boris starts to leave behind some of the maladjusted development of his childhood and become more of a happy, clear-minded person. Boris and Theo suffer from arrested development and one of themes of the book is childhood lost. They are forced to mimic adults either knowingly or unknowingly, and act in ways that children should not have to in order to survive this Adult World alone. With one another they begin to heal from their traumas, their affection for one another the catalyst. Theo cooks for him, talks to a babbling eager-to-talk Boris (imagine how few people have listened to or understood the ideas of a smart boy like Boris, often surrounded by oafish alcoholics, his violent father where he is expected to keep quiet, or cultures where he does not speak the language), Theo sleeps next to him willingly, he likes Boris, a boy from New York (the top of the world!) he think Boris is funny and smart and worldly, shares his dog with him, hangs on his words, becomes his companion, cares for him if he drinks too much, tried to tend his wounds, welcomes him gratefully into his broken family, watches his favorite movies with him, celebrates holidays with him, inherently values him — and so starts to mend Boris’ broken heart.

A lot of things and viewpoints Boris has are clearly repetitions of things he has heard his father or the miners say — “Christmas is for children” (of course they’d say that to a tiny Boris longing for the magic of Christmas as a child stuck in a mining camp watching the peripheral joy of children around him and coming back to bleak hunger and a dark home), or “god yes I loved having sex with her” (about his hooker in the parking lot — Boris then says he knew she didn’t enjoy it and never shows enjoyment but rather avoidance towards women and girls in any genuine way afterwards, yet covets Theo’s physical company).

Theo on the other hand, who for a short while and then so painfully ripped from him, grew up with love. His natural disposition in Vegas comes from a place of being so recently loved and cherished by his mother and he here, in this lonely place, turns the focus of this disposition onto the one person who is kind and protective towards him: Boris — his one light in a life that has turned very dark. This is like an alien world to Boris. Lonesome and neglected Boris is touched and startled and soon changed by this kindness. So much so that Theo, unknowingly, alters the rest of Boris’ life (Boris feels Theo saved his life).

So that is why I believe the Kotku Gay Panic came about. After their climactic Vegas pool scene where their abuse and trauma is opened to one another (their wounds from their fathers, from fire, literally pouring into the purifying chlorine of the watery womb - mother - pool as they try to drown one another, angry at their attraction to one another, but then cling to and save one another instead) Boris begins to not just have fun and have sex and have freedom with Theo (all okay things by Boris’ standards as long as it is secret) — after that scene and they sleep together and Boris satisfies that teenaged human sexual need... they continue to hookup and be at bliss for a very long, happy time where they both begin to psychologically heal— Boris doesn’t just have sex and fun with Theo, he realizes he starts to love Theo.

Love - an extremely foreign concept to Boris who literally freaks the fuck out because he has no baseline for it. It isn’t the type of “love” that his father gives him (violent, untrustworthy), it isn’t the type of “love” the men who grew up around valued (cheap parking lot sex), it isn’t the kind of “love” his idol Larry has with Xandra (Larry lies to Xandra all the time), it isn’t the kind of “love” Boris has seen in his favorite movies (men and women over and over). No, this love with Theo is very very scary to him. Very perhaps dangerous. He doesn’t know.

I think Boris accepts his physical attraction to men as nbd. I think he probably feels most people feel such attractions or some other harmless private desires that certain people may see as an aberrant from “normal” for whatever reason (either typical kinks and silly hush hush sex shop porno stuff - or other far more despicable things he’s witnessed his father’s men do) and so thinks nothing of his own innocent, consensual goodtime-centered desires. Boris, who likely grew up with little exposure to healthy LGBTQ representation and has a very isolated POV in some ways, likely to some degree at the Vegas point in his life (however casually self-accepting he is) equates same-sex attraction with hush hush taboo sex activities — nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re not going to tell your dad.

As long as it is a personal thing, for him only, Boris embraces it. But it is the emotionality, the healing, the care, the love that freaks Boris out and makes him make a run for it to Kotku — only to recede to what he knows and repeat the exact kind of fake “love” he was taught by his father: unbelievable exclamations of devotion (Boris’ dad sobbing and telling him he loves him + “I love her I love her! She’s beautiful and perfect!”) coupled with the black truth (Boris’ dad beating the shit out of him + Boris beating Kotku).

Boris knows he likes boys but when he starts to love one — that’s when he runs away. Because that means something totally different: societally and personally.

#ask #anon #the goldfinch #boreo

[clarabosswald]

i binged all of she ra s5 last night spoilers ahead

low points:

the animation. i’ve always had a bit of an issue with the animation in this show... in terms of design, it’s gorgeous. in terms of flow... i often find it lacking. stocky movements, or lip sync that’s off - those are pretty common. and i mean, i get it, they’ve had to get new episodes out in almost no time and i admire the team for creating the product they did at the end. but i really wish they were given more time to polish and refine it. 

the writing, i mean it’s a kids’ show obviously, but when they’ve got pretty much two modes - beautifully nuanced and emotional writing and then... painfully childish writing, then the childish writing REALLY stands out and it’s a bit embarrassing sometimes (micah and frosta’s little arc, for instance). but i get that too. people who’re good with drama very often can’t get comedy quite right. (and comedians are often really good at drama. it’s an odd thing)

the character arcs were done VERY well with the short time given for them to evolve, but i still do wish they were spread over 2 seasons instead of one. especially catra - seeing her change was super satisfying, but toxic life-long habits are SUPER hard to get rid of. and while they did show her struggle with it, i still really wish it was given the time to develop in a more natural way. still, with the time they had, i do think they showed a satisfactory amount of hardship before catra settled as a good guy.

this season was an absolute celebration of lgbt+ ships and identities and at the end i was really disappointed they didn’t make entrapta canonically aspec. it’s very reminiscent of peridot in su..............left JUST ambiguous enough so fans can keep on putting the characters in romantic/sexual ships. and it’s incredibly frustrating to see us getting SO close to actual canon rep for aspec people and then......not hitting the point. when will aspec representation seem important enough for creators to give it to us apsecs?

speaking of entrapta, her early season arc of her difficulties in interpersonal relationships made her......just a bit too unlikable. or rather.....they let it go a bit too far before letting entrapta show how much she DOES care for her friends? it might honestly be realistic, i know, i do, but realistic writing isn’t always the right choice when trying to present a character like this in a positive light, especially in a kids’ show. i’m just glad they only stuck with it for one episode.

i know it’s super silly but............the team’s spacesuits having holes in them for iconic look’s sake, and adora and entrapta’s hair sticking out................ my dudes that’s not how space works. it’s just a quirky thing but seeing how much emphasis was given on the dangers of space. just. yeah i’m a bit nitpicky

the music in the show is good but also.... kind of overused? that might also be a time constraint thing, though - they might have not had the time to write some new pieces. but it was slightly distracting when the emotional high points all used the same emotional track.

high points:

prime ABSOLUTELY felt like a big threat and i LOVED it. he seemed to be a few steps forward up until the end. this show always was REALLY good with its villains and i really admire that, it’s not a common thing in children’s media. speaking of villains, shadow weaver’s arc too was very satisfactory - her internal struggle between her massive thirst for power and her love of magic as a natural phenomenon and wishing to see it free. and chipped!spinnerella was chilling! chipped!scorpia was genuinely scary! chipped!micah was BATSHIT TERRIFYING! just, really good villain writing all around and i LOVE that shit.

speaking of prime’s chips - the mind control threat was REALLY well done, absolutely not too obvious, absolutely not too easy to win over with “the power of friendship and love”, REALLY fucking chilling and terrifying at points. i really loved how the trauma it left on catra was NOT downplayed, how often you could see her hand reaching the back of her neck when the chips were discussed. that was brilliant.

hordak and wrong!hordak were great. i kinda feared wrong!hordak was gonna turn out to be embarrassing but they kinda managed to tread the thin line there and success at making him really funny most times. hordak struggle with his memories was very good, and by GOD was i fucking grateful they didn’t make his fanship with entrapta canon with all the shipping fest that this season was.

catra with short hair was too fucking much for my poor heart and i WILL FIGHT with adora over her hair length preferences.

she ra’s new design was FIRE and it’s absolutely my favorite one. 

i know melog was kinda giving the team easy instances of deux-ex-machina with his invisibility gift but i love an adorable big alien panther thingy. plus, he really did come across as a powerful and threatening being in his debut episode.

the characters, backgrounds, general worldbuilding designs in this show continued to be utterly beautiful. really appreciate that. the mix between fantasy and sci-fi was SO good.

i really liked how bow, the heart of the best friends squad, was the one who struggled the most with glimmer’s return and with forgiving her. it added plenty of really good depth to his character. 

adora’s struggle with her identity and destiny was an ongoing theme but still, a+ on the execution, especially coming off last season’s closing cliffhanger.

god it’s already becomes so ingrained and obvious in my mind but obviously it needs to be discussed - CATRADORA CANON. like, BEAUTIFULLY canon. i started off the season with “are they gonna do it?” and pretty early on (like, when catra and glimmer were still prisoners kind of early) i became convinced like “they’re ABSOLUTELY heading towards it or the fandom is gonna burn this show” and then it was becoming SUPER obvious and i was like “okay are they gonna finally kiss now? finally kiss NOW? finally kiss now?” but obviously they had to save the big kiss to the climax and i was very okay with that because at that point their romantic love for each other was SO obvious. and just....... wow kudos to the show for going the length and making this ship canon, it was so SO so so so so satisfying and refreshing to see and i love love love loved it. because it really WASN’T done in an obvious way? they couldn’t really allow each other to openly love each other until catra started to REALLY heal and give up her old ways? and THAT was the ONLY well written and natural way for their ship to finally happen because adora is TOO heroic and lawful good-aligned to let herself openly love catra while catra was still in the dark side. so catra didn’t get it easy and had to go the way and change for adora and it WASN’T badly written because catra’s struggle with her love for adora and her hardships while being on the dark side and with her huge ass pride and will to do the easy thing over the right thing vs. her struggle with wish for meaningful relationships and being drawn to good-aligned characters and with having adora in her life again - all of those were SERIES-LONG issues that were explored with catra and while, as a i said, i wish we could’ve seen catra struggle with her lifelong habits a bit longer once she made the choice to join the rebellion, it STILL was made SO WELL with the time they were given and wow, GOOD SHIT. so joined appreciation BOTH for catra’s writing AND for how catradora grew to become canon this season.

bow/glimmer becoming canon was short and sweet and i was satisfied with that.

REALLY happy double trouble made a return. i still kinda wish they were given a BIT more to do, but they’re still probably the best written shapeshifter character i’ve encountered so far.

okay that’s all i can think of off the top of my head so far

overall: 4/5 the show’s like.........a REALLY good fish dish that unfortunately still has got a few bones in it that kinda stick in your mouth when you eat it. but it’s still so good overall that you can’t help but adore it. still wish the season, this show could spend more time in the oven. more work on the animation, more work on the comedic writing, more work for... general tweaks here and there. more TIME, another season, would’ve been brilliant, but sometimes it’s just not part of the plan or the upper ups (netflix/dreamworks in this case i presume) are just assholes and refuse to give the show the episode count it deserves. but still happy and glad for what it was. kudos to the dramatic writing, kudos to the character development, kudos to the designs and color and background work, kudos to the lgbt+ rep. 

#she ra #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #she ra spoilers #spop spoilers

[nouveauweird]

MEDIA INFLUENCES FOR MY WRITING (IN GENERAL)

I was tagged by Yah Yah of @fluoresensitive​ (thank you!). Since I’m not actively working on a single wip I chose some early and major influences for my work overall rather than just one project. These medias span from childhood to very recently! 

As you can see I am very much influenced by the science fiction and crime genres. Some of these works I was introduced to through school, others through chance or recommendation, and they all left lasting impression. The following WIPs take the strongest influence from these medias: The Puppeteer Plague (sci-fi thriller), Of Rust & Redwood Lungs (space opera? drama), Define Vitality (post apoc drama), Hyacinth Stalks (crime thriller).

TAGGING: @bebewrites - @blossomov - @skeletongrrl - @glittcrpeach - @queenie-dragon - @halohidings - & anyone who wants to tbh

This got long so I’ll put all of this under a cut!

The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne. These were a childhood favourite of mine, a mix of science and fantasy and adventure that made learning something empowering for children. 

The Pyx by John Buell. This pulp fiction has been lurking on my family’s bookshelves forever, since it’s one of my grandfather’s novels. I need to reread it to appreciate it properly because it’s been like 10 years. 

The Chrysalids by John Wyndham. I read this in grade 9 and fell in love with its subtle science fiction elements, its post-nuclear apocalyptic setting and the children who find themselves with tele-empathic abilities that make them a target of their hyper religious communities... 

The Host. Probably read this midway through high school after the Twilight craze had died down, but have reread it about 4 times and it makes me cry every time. Say what we will about Smeyer and silly hetero love triangles but she did some really cool worldbuilding with this, and those ideas have followed me ever since. I probably think about this book every time I shower, don’t ask me why.

The Stand (expanded and uncut edition). My dad has a few favourites, and among them are this book and Dune. He convinced me to read it when we were stuck in a cottage for two weeks when I was 14. I got the name Perion from this book, which I gave to one of my most treasured original characters. I also take inspiration from some of the plague and post apocalypse elements but little else.

Level 26: Dark Origins by Anthony E. Zuiker. I watched way too many crime shows as a teenager, and though I think the CSI shows were not so bad, this novel written by the executive producer was real bad. I absolutely shouldn’t have read this at 15 years old it was so fucked up, but it was also the first book to immediately hook me in in the prologue and held me in a tight grip of suspense the whole way through. I’ve never been more fucked up by a book before. The sequel is pretty good too. It is actually media based, and has codes every few chapters that you can plug into the official website where there are short clips shot with real actors that provide additional subplot to the book.

Fringe (2008-2013). This was my favourite show which I was so invested in I recall my sibling coming in to console me during a particularly intense season premiere bc I was sobbing so hard. What they did with some of the science fiction in this blew my mind, and some elements have followed me into my work now. 

Obscura by Joe Hart. I read this last year, and I’ve never really finished a book and wholeheartedly said that it deserved to have a TV adaptation. It’s narrative is suspenseful the sci-fi elements are compelling and the stakes are intriguing. It’s set in space, the main character is a mother, and the twist is fucking delicious.

Bloodchild by Octavia E. Butler. I read this for my sci-fi themed English class last year and was riveted. I haven’t read anything like it before. The whole class reacted strongly to it. I loved the alien species and I love the dynamics between them and the humans, who have become refugees on another planet, and a valuable resource too. Fucked up but in a very compelling way.

The Southern Reach Trilogy by Jeff Vandermeer. I started the first book at 9 pm before trying to go to bed, and got through the first 100 pages, I had to get up and go talk to by sibling Andy because I was so thoroughly skeeved out by the world Vandermeer had created. I put a lot of trust in this story, because the perspectives shift in the following books and I really wanted more from the Biologist, but ultimately it remains one of my favourite series and a huge influence for my science fiction work. 

Alien (1979) & Aliens (1986). The first “scary” movie I was introduced to as a kid. The monster/alien concept stuck with me and I rewatch the first two films (we ignore every subsequent film). Puppeteer Plague pays homage to the Xenomorphs, and in another WIP (Mare Levest 40) I named many of the crew after Alien Franchise characters.

iRobot (2004). Another action/sci-fi I was introduced to as a kid. It still startles me even though I know the story and have watched it many time. The robots were fucking cool. Spooner’s prosthetics are a major influence in Of Rust & Redwood Lungs (which is a Mars Settlement political drama).

The Expanse (show and books). I only recently got into this series, but it’s become a big inspiration for me for my own space opera wip. I have taken influence from The Martian, The Space Between Us, Interstellar and many other space-based medias for this piece, but The Expanse was the one to really dig in deep with the worldbuilding and I have a lot of respect for it especially because of its diversity of characters, but also representations of various sexualities. 

Runners Up: Panic at Rock Island for its plague themes, The Mentalist and Lie to Me for their unique approaches to crime, Terra Nova for its unique worldbuilding and for also making me fuckin sob during the finale (also shout out to the livejournal fanfic community I was in for that fandom, lmao, I gave Lt. Reilly the first name Laura and someone put it on the wiki), and Bioshock, The Last of Us, and Horizon Zero Dawn for worldbuilding elements. 

I legit didn’t realise I had so many sci-fi influences, damn. You’re a trooper if you read this far.

#media influences tag game. #tag games. #my stuff. #my works. #about the writer.

[lilithpooped]

Flowers - Park Seonghwa

Genre: Fluff, Bar Singer!Seonghwa AU

A/n: please let me know if you like this, I’m really not sure if I will go on writing because this was the last fic of Ateez, now that the all members are done, i need requests or I don’t know what to write about. I’m always open to criticism though, please let me know if you like this or not 🌸🌸🌸🌸

———————————————————

“Where are you?? GURL YOU’RE LATE COME ON!!!”

Your friend yelled at you on phone.

“I’M ALMOST THERE STOP YELLING AT ME!”

“HURRY UP WE’RE IN”

“OKAY I’M HERE, BYE.”

You ended the call when you entered the pub. You knew the place from your high school days. You and your squad were always hanging there. Now you were in college for two years and you were gathering in here everytime all of the squad was in town. The place was nothing too fancy. It was just a pub with good music (mostly rock and always live) and the commoners were always nice. It was a nice place to sit and catch up with each other after all.

You searched for your friends. Oh there they were. Your best friends kept a seat empty for you, neither you nor them liked the others in your class.

“Where were you, don’t look at the stage now but there is a hot hot hot hot boy on the stage now and apparently he’s the new singer. And UGH he is so handsome!”

How could you not look when your best friend told you that there was a handsome boy right behind you? OF COURSE YOU WOULD LOOK. So you suddenly turned, and...

Eyes.. They say one can see the whole universe in their lover’s eyes. They say the lightning that occurs when a person look into their soulmate’s eyes can even be seen. You never believed these until that moment.

But in that moment.. you were sure everyone could see the flood of emotions between you and that black haired singer guy.

“...y/n? Hey!!!!!!!”

You broke the eye connection with the guy and turned back to your best friend.

“What?”

“I was telling you to go and talk to him. He is so your type!”

“Oh.. No. No he wouldn’t like that probably.”

“Come on girl, I saw the way you two looked at each other just now!! Even though I told you not to look but anyways this is not what matters right now.”

“No, I really don’t think I’m ready for something like that.”

“Aaaah, girl you’re driving me crazy! Why is that? Are you still not over that boy? Your ex?? That crazy bastard??”

“No, baby, I’m over him but I just don’t know how to start a conversation with a boy that handsome.”

“Okay, if you don’t then I’m gonna talk to him for you! Bye!”

Before you could say anything, she just jumped off the chair and went through the stage. The singer was not singing anything at that moment and you knew your best friend would embarrass you WAY MORE than you would embarrass yourself if you wanna talk to him. So you also jumped off your seat and held her arm before she could speak to him. Sadly enough, you were already in front if the stage and you flipped the chair while you were trying to catch your friend so now everyone’s gaze was on you including that hot boy whom you were right in front of at that moment. He was looking in your eyes directly but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t show any emotion on his face. He was just looking at you, waiting for the words you were going to tell.

“Umm.. aah-“

“Okay, fighting y/n! I’m turning back to my chair.” Oh... It would’ve been so much better if your bff ripped your rib cage at that very moment. Not only she put you in that situation, but also she told those words loud enough for the boy to hear.

“H-Hey, I’m y/n.”

“Hey.”

“Ehe.. I was just thinking maybe- Umm..”

“Maybe what?”

“Umm maybe you would like to have a drink with me sometime..”

Whoaa, y/n.. Slow down gurl! What is that? Why are you so lame?

“Mm, okay.” Wow what? Did he say okay just now?

“Aah.. umm.. So.. When are you free?”

“Oh, i only need to play two more songs. Then I’m free.”

“Aah,, okay i guess? I’ll be sitting at that table,, ehem.” Y/n where is your mind?? Of course he knows where you sit, you’re right in front of him!!

“Okay. Is it okay if I come to your table and pick you up? Wouldn’t it be weird for you?”

“Hahaha, why would it be weird ahaha”

“Because your friends are looking at us like we are some aliens.”

Oh shit... You totally forgot about them..

“Ah,, no it’s okay. You can just come and even sit with us if you want to.”

“Okay then,, umm..”

“Ehe, i should go now.”

“Oh, yes yes. See you then.”

“Yes, good luck. I will be listening.”

Oh what? You will be listening? What the fuck was that lame sentence?? Are you his girlfriend? Why did you say that?

“Ahah, okay. Thank you.”

You turned back to your chair.

“GIRL!!!! Tell me what did you two talked for that long????? TELL ME!”

“Umm,, nothing. Ehehe.. We are gonna have some drinks after his job is done-“

Suddenly an angelic voice cut your sentence. It filled all of your senses with flowers.. Like you were smelling flowers, seeing flowers, touching flowers.. That voice.. You turned your head to see the source and your eyes met with his again. At that moment, you felt like everything faded around you. Like only you two were there..

How could a pair of eyes be that deep? How could a man’s beauty make you want to cry? How could a man that you don’t even know make you feel every part of your heart? Was that even possible? How was he feeling? Was he also feeling the same? What would be the best thing to do?

You haven’t realized when the song ended and he started to sing last one. He was singing one of your favorite songs while looking right into your eyes. How could he know? Was that a coincidence? How could he know that you liked that song?

He came to your table when the song ended. You were still looking at him even though he was really close and you had to look up to him.

“Hey.. I’m done here. Should we go somewhere else?”

“Uh,, okay. Let’s go.”

You told your bff about the situation and she totally understood. So you disappeared with the handsome singer.

“Okay, where do you wanna go?” He asked.

“I know a place where we can eat something, if you’re also hungry that is..”

“Yes, yes I’m starving.”

Your way there was really silent. It was so weird. The silence was not the kind that makes people irritated or awkward. It was the kind of silence that makes you feel at ease, that relaxes your mind. You wondered if he felt the same too.

Little did you know, he felt exactly the same but he was just too shy or awkward to tell you anything. He didn’t even know you yet but he was already feeling attached to you. That scared him. He had never felt this way before.

“Okay, here we are. This place makes the best pizzas in this city!” You said.

“So you’re confident about your taste in pizza then?”

“Oh,, I’ve never thought about it but YES!! I believe that you’re gonna love it.”

“Okay, if you say so.” He smiled.

Wow... He smiled.. You saw flowers again. You felt the flowers blooming inside of your heart. His smile.. His smile that makes you wanna jump down from the highest point of the world right into his arms. His smile that made you smile automatically.

Your smile? He was drunk without drinking anything. He was drunk on you. His head was spinning, heart was beating so fast that he just wanted to kiss you right here right now. Only that would make him feel complete. Now that he saw you, he felt like a child whose parents adopted a pet for him. He felt like he was the only one who could see the sky in the whole city. He felt like he was lost. He felt like the darkness inside him was gone but he knew once it comes back, it would be too much for him to handle it himself. He just needed you to be there forever.

You both realized at the same time that you were standing in front of the door for a while now and people were staring at you.

“Oh- Let’s go in ahahaha” you said.

With that, you two found a table and sit. Ordered your food and started to talk about yourselves. You learned that he liked cooking and hated eating or drinking bitter things. You learned a lot about him and shared a lot with him. But there was still one thing you didn’t know.

“Hey, did you realize that you never told me your name?”

“Ah.. I’m sorry.. I’m Seonghwa.”

“Wow, your name is beautiful.. what does it mean?”

“It means to become a star.”

“Oh, that suits you really well! I-I mean you are into music and you are really good at it so- I mean I’m sure you can-“

You were cringing at your own silliness but his laugh was what made you stop and stare at him.

His laugh.. just like a hymn for flowers.

You were watching him deeply and he finally realized that. He finally realized that you were also eyeing him. He finally realized what he should do.

His face got more serious, he was getting closer to you. You were too lost in his eyes to do anything other than to let him do whatever he wants.

And he wanted to kiss you.

His lips were so soft, his touch on your face was so soft, it was like you were the most fragile thing he had seen in his life.

And he wanted to protect you.

He didn’t want to end the kiss but he needed your approval without going on with it.

“Y/n, should I apologize?”

“No.” You whispered. “Actually yes for breaking the kiss.”

#ateez #kpop #kpop fics #ateez fics #ateez imagines #kpop imagines #ateez scenarios #kpop scenarios #park seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa #ateez fluff #kpop fluff #kpop fanfics #ateez fanfics #fic request #choi san #jung yunho #kim hongjoong #choi jongho #song mingi #jung wooyoung #kang yeosang

[someplace-that-is-else]

‘Go into a Room Too Fast, the Room Eats You: How I Fell into the Expanse’

If I was being honest…I had never forgiven them.

 By them, I mean the Sci-Fi Channel. For what? Cancelling Sliders. It had been my favorite sci-fi show of all time. It was the one that resonated with me. It was a show that inspired me to write. So much so that I did my first fan fiction, fiction done by a fan for a show.

 Then there was Farscape. I had no intention of watching that either. Especially after losing Sliders to it I believed. And who would watch a show that was essentially Muppets in Space. Or so I thought. But boy, did it prove me wrong! After avoiding it for the majority of its first season, the finale episodes…and the introduction of a certain leather-clad half-Scarran…caught my eye. I slowly, but surely was hooked…until that was cancelled, too three years later. Never again, I thought.

 Since my ‘never again’ pledge, the Sci-Fi Channel had changed. After years of allowing itself to devolve into a channel full of constant movies, reality tv, and wrestling (Wrestling? Really?), SyFy (the name they decided to rebrand themselves as) finally decided to get back to what their purpose was supposed to be: sci-fi…old and most importantly NEW.

 One of the new shows was The Magicians. I remembered seeing the book when I was still living in Little Rock, Arkansas in the local library. I never knew it would become a show. More fantasy than sci-fi, but I liked it. Usually it was on Wednesdays.

 One Wednesday I happened to be home. I saw the new episode. And then I felt lazy. I allowed my television to stay on the same channel rather than turn it.

 I had been looking down. My ears still heard dialogue and sound effects. But I was not paying attention. Then a boom sounded off. I looked up. There was someone on some planet. They were in a space suit. All hell was breaking loose. It was intercut with space. Then I remembered that The Magicians was scheduled with another show called The Expanse. I texted my friend Lee about it since I remember she had mentioned it in passing.

 “Turn off the television,” she texted.

 “What?” I texted.

 She said I couldn’t watch it. That I had to go back and watch it from the beginning. I thought she was being silly on one hand. On the other hand, I wanted to see what happened in the scene that I had just watched. In any case, I turned the channel.

 But…I was already intrigued.

 About A Girl…Or Is it? The Expanse Season 1

 The Expanse took place in a future where Earth and Mars were vouching for power with a people in an asteroid belt (called Belters) caught in the middle. That was what I first started to get as I started on Season 1. Great world building in my opinion, complete with their own ways of speaking, dialogue, and traditions.

 And Season 1 was also a slow burn.

 A detective on the hunt for a missing rich girl.

 A man and his crew who get framed for something they did not do and make an unusual discovery. 

A female politician who swore like a sailor who stumbled onto an intergalactic conspiracy. What did they have in common? They were all part of the same story…the discovery of an alien element called the protomolecule.

 Not that they realized it. Yet.

 If I had to label the first season anything in terms of a genre, I would call it a mystery. Viewers were right there with Detective Miller (played in perfect noir by Thomas Jane) as he went in search of Julie Mao, the daughter of the rich man. Yeah, there was spaceships due to the frame-up on James Holden and his crew. There was the hint of aliens, but for the most part The Expanse stayed very noir with the hint of a conspiracy as provided by the swearing politician Chrisjen Avasarala. As the first season ended, the storylines converged. Three different people were part of the same storyline.

 It was a storyline that I continued to follow right into Season 2. Made easy by the fact that the people who wrote the books (James R. A. Corey), it followed quite well alongside the books I heard. I also loved the world building that was going on. The politics of Earth. The culture of people who lived on the Belt. How people from Mars were which was a more military mindset than people from Earth.

 I even saw the scene that I saw that one Wednesday. It was to introduce a Martian character named Bobbie. Another storyline introduced into all of this mystery.

 And then it happened.

 I was on Season 2, Episode 5. I was about to head into work. I had gotten dressed. I was about to turn it off…

 …and the episode went left into hard core sci-fi.

 The scene I had heard was faithful to the scene in the books that The Expanse was based on. The special effects were breathtaking. The visual was stimulating. Ethereal even. And the dialogue and action were on a whole other level. And storywise, the story of Detective Miller was reaching the end of an arc.

 I went on to work. However, the scene stayed on my mind. It was the last scene in that episode. It would be hours before I was home again. Hours before I could watch the next episode. My mind was on all the possibilities of what could happen next. In that moment of seeing how my mind kept coming back to that episode’s end, I knew.

  I was hooked.

  Gone?: The Expanse Season Three and the Almost Was

 I had been late.

 And by late, I meant that I had not watched the latest episode.

 It was Season Three of The Expanse. After hinting at war between Earth, Mars, and the Belt over the protomolecule, war finally came through in Season Three. Holden and his crew (love interest Naomi, crazy mechanic Amos, pilot Alex) had turned into a nice team as well as become a family. Chrisjen Avasarala had even been roped into, joining the team for an arc.

 So of course, the SyFy Channel had to cancel it.

 Wait? What?!?

 That’s right. Like so many shows before it, SyFy was cancelling The Expanse. After rebranding themselves as a SCIENCE FICTION channel again thanks to this show, DARK MATTERS, KILLJOYS, and good sci-fi miniseries, they were cancelling what was debatably their current flagship (because a case could be made that THE MAGICIANS was that, too) show. After putting my trust in them again, SyFy had gutted me again.

 Oh, well. I guess I could try to enjoy the last few episodes of Season Three, right?

 I listened. That day I was working out from home. Meanwhile, the latest episode was playing on my laptop. Holden was in a weird environment with what was Detective Miller who SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!...was dead and now part of the protomolecule. In hot pursuit was a team of Martians. And when they all made it to the same spot and despite Bobbie (she was part of the Martian team sent to arrest Holden…long story) playing moderator…all hell broke loose.

 And…a Martian was taken completely apart. By an ancient alien defense system. It pulled off the armor, the skin, and then turned him to matter…ash…for the planet. The acting. The effect. The music. It all came together beautifully.

 ‘Fuck me!’

 And I had stopped doing pull-ups. Jaw on floor. And I wondered again…

 …what was SyFy thinking cancelling this great show?

 ---

 Sometimes I forget.

 Times have changed since the day SLIDERS. Back in the day, fans had to accept that a show was cancelled. Or they would have to write in by letters. Or even send a signatured item.

 Not so much anymore. Since 2000, fan bases had gotten more organized. Thank you, internet, for fan bases’ ability to get organized and campaign for a show to come back. To get a network to change its mind about cancelling a show. Dollhouse. Timeless. And the fans of The Expanse…used emails and in the case of Amazon Studios, an airplane.

 As luck would have it…the president of Amazon Studios, Jeff Bezos, was a fan of the series. A fan…who wanted to see how the story ended. So…at a panel…he shocked the creators and stars of the shows (and the fans) by revealing that The Expanse would have its next season on Amazon Prime. Even better…later on…it was revealed that Season 5 was confirmed before the December release of Season Four.

 Good. A show that could pulled in the casual reader on a random Wednesday was a show that I felt had room to grow. While SyFy continued to have a bad track record when it came to actual sci-fi on their channel, I had to admit it. I was glad that I had left my channel unchanged that night. I was glad to have some hardcore science fiction that I was into. And better yet, there would be more years of it to come with nice twists, relatable characters, and situations that resonated in today’s world.

 So I was glad Lee had told me to start at the beginning. No need to rush. Let the show take its time, and you would be rewarded. And so I was.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEENk6_XFoA

  #theexpanse #syfychannel #syfy #scifichannel #themagicians #sliders #Wednesday #roomeatsyou #room #eats #sciencefiction #amazon #jeffbozos #detective #mystery #noir #farscape #wrestling #timeless #dollhouse #killjoys #darkmatter #tvshows #jamessacorey #books #amazonprime #fans #belters

#theexpanse #syfy channel #syfy #scifichannel #the magicians syfy #sliders #wednesday #roomeatsyou #room #eats #sciencefiction #amazon #jeff bezos #detective #mystery #noir #farscape #wrestling #timeless #dollhouse #killjoys #darkmatter #tvshows #james sa corey #books #amazonprime #fans #belters