#i personally have no idea what the fuck matt does in the true ending bc. um. i accidentally had him quit by paying him too much

[laplacesdevil]

my first matt on here and it's this. good

#DSAF #Matt Virginia #Matthew Virginia #Matt DSAF #Phone Arts #i love matt i love being so normalcore about him and not having lore thoughts about him a #i personally have no idea what the fuck matt does in the true ending bc. um. i accidentally had him quit by paying him too much #but i like to imagine it was like this #oh yea matt has some moles around his body bc there was this artist (can't remember their username) who drew a really nice matt #n their matt had moles. n like i contributed a few to my own design but then i was like 'ok. add a little more tho.' #first time digitalizing matt! yippee!

[whatsaudreythinkingabout]

Idk if u d0 r0mantic headcanons but… Dating Matthew Patel headcanons

I haven’t done romantic headcanons before (at least in terms of “x reader” stuff) but I’ll give it my best shot!

Quick disclaimer: I am a lesbian who is very much not attracted to men, so I’m approaching this from a purely objective standpoint just to get a better idea of how I interpret his personality & overall approach to relationships (& it’ll also help me flesh out my MattLee headcanons so I can get a clearer idea of their dynamic in my head)

So anyway:

Dating Matthew Patel

As I mentioned in my previous post about Matt (which you can find in the tags), after what happened with Ramona he became hesitant to pursue another romantic relationship because he figured it would only end badly, so he started to play up the whole “mysterious brooding loner” schtick so people would leave him alone. Unfortunately, this only attracted him more attention because 1. he was trying way too hard so it just made him come off as overdramatic and 2. there was a select group of girls in his grade who thought he was secretly a vampire and took him rebuffing their advances as “playing hard to get” (yeah this all technically takes place before Twilight [and by extension the vampire craze] comes out but it’s my headcanon & I’m allowed to have a little fun).

If he did catch feelings for someone, he’d probably start out repressing them pretty heavily like the angsty little bitch he is. He talks a pretty big game for someone who claims they’re so slick, but when the time comes to actually tell someone how he feels he shuts down & it would probably take him a while to work up the nerve to confess.

Either that, or he’d come in overconfident with some kind of ridiculous pick-up line, then cringe at himself on the inside whenever he inevitably crashes and burns.

However, once he does finally feel comfortable enough with a partner, he would be completely and utterly OBSESSED. This man is first and foremost a theatre kid, so he is dramatic as fuck and not afraid to show it. Expect a lot of big, flashy, over-the-top romantic gestures; gifts, food (I do HC him to be a good cook), nice dates, fully-choreographed musical numbers—you name it.

It’s been said that the difference between being in love with a hero vs. a villain is that a hero would sacrifice you to save the world, but a villain would sacrifice the world to save you. Matt might be more of an edgelord than a true villain (no matter how much he claims he’s totally evil, yeah sure you are), but regardless he would burn the entire world down if it meant the person he loved would be warm.

It’s also been demonstrated that for all his big talk he has a pretty fragile ego, so he’d fall apart at the slightest indication that you were mad at him. Just totally pathetic (/affectionate) malewife guyfailure energy

Overall he acts all doom & gloom on the outside but when he does love someone, he’d both die and kill for them

honestly that’s about all i got for right now. i might come up with more later but it’s a lot easier for me to do these types of things for female characters bc women

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #matthew patel #headcanon

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Alright, Yous asked for this - PART ONE

Here is the full list of all my active WIPs:

Warning: My WIPs will occationally feature RPF / RPS or incest/crackships

Priest Masema Longfic - God's Wonders Pagan!Reader x Priest!Masema. Masema goes to great lengths to convince Reader of his faith, but also does everything God has forbidden. Turns a bit culty and toxic. Masema is basically touch/love starved and eats up every morsel Reader gives him.

Ray Merrimen Fic Probably gona be three or so chapters, about Reader having been in love with Ray for her entire conscious life, being on and off with him, reminiscing and eventually having his baby.

Two Plus Two For my GF, it's smutty, it is Gerry Butler and Pablo Schreiber and the two of us. Nothing to see here, move on.

New Years Resolutions - DJ Sihtric New Years smut, Sihtric having you in the DJ booth at the NYE party.

Everything is a Fight with Me Jay Kulina Smut, mommy kink, dom!reader.

By The Grace Gods - American Gods Fix It Fic Lame self insert, bc I don't want Sweeney to have died. Chapter One; I meet and shack up with a certain well beloved Leprechaun.

Cassa Nova's Silver Lining - Chapter 3 Chapter Three of my Napoleon Solo Arranged Marriage fic. You are still on the fence about Leon, but have a wedding to prep for.

Bodyguard Sihtric - Only You - Longfic Sihtric is your bodyguard and you really want to make him fuck you. Odd Dom-Sub dynamic and a lot of tension.

At Your Altar - Modern Cultist Unhinged Toxic Masema Longfic Reader is a trust fu baby, Masema a personal trainer. Masema is convinced reader is a Goddess reincarnated and goes full unhinged.

Puppy Boy - Animal Shelter Sihtric Long Fic Second Chapter of my needy subby slow burn autistic cutie pie Sihtric fic. Sihtric is falling in love with you and will use every excuse to see you. He is being disgusting about you and Finan gets a bit fed up with it.

Free Use - Sub Sihtric Does what it says on the tin, Sihtric being free use to reader.

I can handle you. Nyneave and Lan engage in some rough bedroom activities.

Free Use - Lukas Nowak Reader being free use to Lukas

Heir!Sihtric Arranged marriage-ish. Heir!Sihtric and reader get too know each other the quick way.

Between Them [Finan x Sihtric x Reader] Bard!Reader gets a bit more than she bargained for when she finds herself between a Dane and an Irishamn.

Werewolf!Sihtric - Do I have to teach you? Alpha!Werewolf!Reader x Newly Bitten Wolfie!Sihtric. Puppy boy has no idea what he is doing and is looking for a place to belong, which you gladly provide him with.

Caught In The Middle Sihtric x Reader x Masema. You just can't seem to tear yourself away from Masema, even though he is a toxic asshole. But then you meet Sihtric and nothing else seems to matter.

Undercover Life - Masema During the time in Falme, Masema poses as a Soldier, coming home to you.

Two Versions of Showersex Two for one smut, one with subby Sihtric and one with dommy Sihtric.

Tied Up Brat - Sihtric Some bondage with Sihtirc being bratty.

Doggy Style - Masema Does what it says on the tin, Masema fucking you Doggy.

Riding Masema Doing it cowgirl with Masema

Missionary - Masema Well duh...

DJ Sihtric Longfic - Ch 2 Sihtric takes you out on a date and things end up in your bed.

Sweetheart Prompt #12 Secret little nugget featuring the one and only Mr F.

A Language I Don't Speak [Credence x Aberforth] Credence has no idea how to recieve love and Aberforth sorta forgot how to give it. Fuck ups ensue. TW: Incest

Dojo Owner Masema A modern verse Masema having reader on the work out matt.

Marked - Cain El-Adam Some SCP 073 smut I have no true aim with yet.

Taunting Sihtric "You get so horny, it's cute." With Sihtric.

Taunting Finan "You get so horny, it's cute." With Finan.

Taunting Osferth "You get so horny, it's cute." With Osferth

Taunting Uhtred "You get so horny, it's cute." With Uhred.

Blind for me - Bassist Sihtric You are set up on a blind date with Bassist!Sihtric and it goes a little too well.

Some Voyeurism, Bc I am evil Some post partum sexy time with Mr F, bc I do this for me.

Lordly [Lord!Sihtric] Sihtric as Lord of Dunholm, hoping to find a new wife in reader. No true plot, just smut.

This is the honeymoon [Modern!Sihtric] Honeymoon night smut

Race Me [Underground Racer!Sihtric] Underground racer Sihtric picks up reader after she is harassed by members of a rivalling 'team' and takes her home for some extra curiculars.

Home at last [Soldier!Sihtric] Your husband is home from war and he is here to fuck you.

Pitter Patter Paws [Animal Shelter Sihtric] More subby desperate animal shelter Sihtric BS, just a smut this time.

Flashing Light [Model!Sihtric] Model Sihtric hooking up with photographer reader.

Marching a Band [Bebban Boys Poly Shit] Poly Band!Pretty Boys x Manager Reader, pure smut.

Drinks on me [Bartender Sihtric] Bartender Sihtric x Waitress reader, smut af!

Baby It's Cold Outside [Jotun!Sihtric] Jotun!Sihtric smut I have no aim with yet.

Make it up to me [Cagefighter Sihtric] Requested make up sex with Cagefighter Sihtric.

Dance with the Devil [Demon!Sihtric] Reader comes home to roomies summoning a demon, Sihtric, who ends up fucking reader rather than roomies, as intended.

Slipping Off The Racetracks [Motor Racer!Sihtric] Smut without plot about reader and Motor Racer!Sihtric

Bad Wrong Vampire Sihtric Just vampire Sihtric being bad wrong for reader, with smut as the main course

Rebounding [Modern!Sihtric] He got he arse dumped and comes back to you.

THEY WERE ROOMMATES [Cagefighter!Sihtric] OH MY GODS THEY WERE ROOMMATES

Lawless [Police!Sihtric] Police!Sihtric x Witness!Reader doing things they were not supposed to do.

All Mine [Dom Modern!Sihtric] Smutty smut with dom Sihtric

Bend for Me [Gym Instructor!Sihtric] Sex as a work out, plain ol' smut.

Lace and Leather [BDSM Club!Sihtric] Switch Sihtric helps readr explore what she likes

Bound to You [Tatted Pierced Collared Modern!Sihtric] Veyr subby Sihtric smut.

More of Your Magic [Hunter Sihtric] Basically SPN AU smut

Wana be a Step Dad [Modern!Sihtric] Single Mom!Reader gets too close too quickly with Modern!Sihtric.

Flintwood - Not At All Marcus Flint x Oliver Wood, post war smut

Pop That Melon! Arnas F Arnas popping a melon with his thighs and reader cleaning him up.

Modern! Omega! Sihtric! - I Need a Hero Omega Sihtric is desperate for a mate and reader is just the right Alpha for the job.

Shadows and Storms on the Horizon SCP longfic abt me and my gf

#This is probably going to have to be a three part post fam #here is the first 60

[mizzmellos]

Third time here hello again, miss me? (jk)

You did seem appreciative of my first batch of L/Mello headcanons so I guess I'll give you a few more because I'm such a great mutual like that (is this gaslighting)

- I firmly believe Mello is a smoker or at least a drinker. Based on this idea, I bet Mello would've tried to get L to drink/smoke at least ONE time. Long story short: L damn near dies (he is NOT suited for either of those) and Mello spends the whole night trying to compensate for nearly killing his bf

- In the car they ALWAYS argue over what radio station to pick (Mello is probably a metal or rock enjoyer. L either does not like music or he prefers classical. A part of me wants to say maybe he likes some pop songs sung by women or all girl bands. OOH WHAT ABOUT L AS A SPICE GIRLS FAN). So, they either take turns with the radio station each car ride, or they just end up not playing the radio cause they can't reach a conclusion (They're both stubborn as hell).

- Mello borrows L's clothes constantly. L will have just gotten out of..his washing machine? Or the shower.. (Mello probably found the washer thing odd and just started forcing L to suck it up and take real showers. L wasn't happy but Mello is persistent), and he sees that Mello is just shamelessly doing whatever wearing L's shirt (bonus if he just ditches the pants or..anything else underneath. I feel like it'll only be so long before I border on kinky headcanons). L is mostly tolerant of this, and depending on his mood, he'll either just skulk around nude or he'll try and coax Mello into giving his clothes back (this gave me really suggestive fic ideas).

OKAY I NEED TO END THIS HERE BEFORE THIS ASK IS TOO DAMN LONG SORRY

If you ever want more of these headcanons you know who to call (the brainrot IS REAL.)

Goodnight :).

OMFG I DID MISS YOU HOW DID YOU KNOW??? I literally mean this when I say that ANY TIME these pop into your head you know DAMN WELL whose inbox you better be in before the thought passes.

I think Mello probably smokes fancy cigars on occasion and you're definitely right in saying that L's not a smoker/drinker LOL at least not of anything more than fruity wine. <- thinking about drunk L is actually so funny. Mello's used to going shot-for-shot with Matt (who usually out-drinks him) and L's hunched over the toilet puking because he can't handle hard liquor. LOL. Mello would probably pretend to feel bad but secretly enjoy this very much.

TBH I definitely agree with you that I see L as liking classical/jazz music and I think it's DEFINITELY true that he enjoys cutie girl pop music <- he's a Misa-Misa fan, duh. But in my head this scenario is a big source of tension in their relationship even if neither of them realizes it, because Mello tends to defer to whatever L wants (in terms of stuff like music, food, etc., not everything but the more 'unimportant' things) and this isn't something that's super-suitable to Mello's headstrong/opinionated personality LOL. So he bites his tongue a lot/will just listen to whatever shit L wants to put on even if it's not what he wants to listen to -> L does not know of and/or appreciate his sacrifices (they are not sacrifices but Mello sees them that way) -> Mello harbors resentment. Etc. This can and must be rectified through nasty sex.

STOPPPP NOT THE WASHING MACHINE. L GOT BACK TO TASKFORCE ONE DAY AND THERE'S SMOKE BILLOWING FROM THE WINDOWS BECAUSE MELLO BLOWED THAT THING UPPPPP. I'm dead serious when I say that Obata was genuinely sick of us at that point and just like fuckkkk ittttttt let's see if they still want to fuck him after this (we did). BUT THAT THING DOES NOT EXIST. TO ME. Other than that this is so so so correct <- Mello is a serial clothes-stealer no matter what because none of his are comfortable, and he never wears pants at home bc otherwise he'd have permanent seam-indents down his legs. He definitelyyyyy steals L's (dirty) shirts because they smell like him also.

Hey btw ummm. Write that fic after you send me more of these. <3 I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU.

#L x Mello #YOU THINK YOU HAVE BRAINROT. IMAGINE HOW I FEEL. #*you can hear your phone ringing because i'm calling you btw* #MY LITTLE HEART CAN'T TAKE ITTTT THE MORPH AND OVERKEEHL POSTS AND NOW THESEEEEEEEEE IT'S LIKE. IT'S ALL WORTHWHILE. #this is literally so angelic like it's protecting my blog from ac!d hexes it's healing my kidneys. #<- it really is btw like the very night i saw morph's LMello post is the night i started to get better. coincidence? i think not.

[asterekmess]

Been seeing you getting hate mail and while I absolutely can't understand why anyone would go to all the trouble to make some one else feel bad... I also kinda really love the discourse on Scott? Like YOUR RANTS oh man. On point. Always. Tbh I tried giving Scott a chance... He is the main char after all... But I was like??? Wtf? That dude does nothing but refute others and does whatever he wants. And this was when I didn't particularly like Stiles either (first time watching Teen Wolf). But then I got to know more of him and like Tony he went asshole to lovable asshole—seriously, Stiles might not be the ‘nicest’ but he tries and his heart is in good place—while Scott is just... self-righteous. Someone pointed out that he sees people as possessions and that irks me too that I can actually see it being true. The dude has literally nothing going on except for being the one that gets bitten. And the Romeo-and-Juliet-esque romance he has.

Okay, okay, where was I going with this?? Right. LOVE YOUR RANTS. People need to understand that Scott not being liked isn't because of his race or anything trivial like it—he just happens to be—but because of his actions. Or inactions, as it were. *remembers the pool scene and Scott saying he's busy and resists the urge to chuck a shoe at him*

Basically, love you, love your work, and love your words! ❤️

I've talked with some friends about it, and our number one issue sort of...boiled down to the hypocrisy of the show? I....sort of rant a lot here, and I would add a Read More, but I can't find the option anymore?? I fucking hate Tumblr. EDIT: I found a post that told me how to do it!

So, since he's the character I focus on the most, let's talk about Stiles' morality. Because, you're right. Stiles is an asshole. He does some fucking awful shit in the first season, and even if he had a Reason to do it, it was still bad. And I still don't like it. But I understand it.

Stiles' lack of shits about what is 'lawful' is literally established in the first ten seconds of the show. He's a sheriff's son who sneaks onto people's roofs in the middle of the night bc they aren't answering his calls, who listens in on his dad's work conversations and is willing to fuck up a crime scene because he's so excited about getting to see a dead body. He doesn't care about laws. He doesn't even care about most basic manners (invasion of privacy much, with having Scott sniff Lydia to see if she liked him?). He's a dickhead, even to the people he cares about sometimes. But personality and morality aren't the same. Stiles' entire actual morality system is based around whatever he needs to do to keep the people he loves safe and happy. Lying to his dad so he doesn't get murdered by hunters? Totally fine. Telling Scott that it was "Jackson's own fault" that Scott attacked him with superstrength and dislocated his shoulder, so Scott doesn't feel like an asshole? That's just best friend duties! He will lie, steal, cheat, and he will kill to keep his loved ones safe (let's not forget this boy threw molotovs at Peter, knowing damn well what they would do to him). We can headcanon all we want about all the different people who are in this group of loved ones, but the list is canonically very short: Scott, his dad, and Lydia. Later on, like, past s3B? It includes Derek. Canonically. Stiles puts his life and the lives of others he cares about on the line while he lies to the matriarch of the Calavera hunter clan, to save Derek Hale. Derek is just canonically a part of that group now, and he fucking knows it bc Stiles is his anchor (that's canon too bb). End of Story, Sterek or no Sterek. It's why we get that insane number of lookbacks when Derek is dying before his evolution. Because Stiles is being forced to choose between two people who are BOTH in his ride-or-die group. He Cannot Pick between Scott and Derek, until Derek begs him to leave.

SO, yes, Stiles does fuckface things, and I don't always agree with what he does, but it is ACCURATE TO HIS CHARACTER. He is morally grey. He NEVER CLAIMS to be pure or good or just or righteous. Stiles knows who he is, and he stays true to himself. And I love him for that.

The same goes for a bunch of other characters! For Peter, who is strikingly similar to Stiles, in that family goes above literally everything. Screw the idea that he was following Derek around waiting for the chance to steal back the Alpha spark. That man put his life on the line (his second life, no less) to get the shit beaten out of him until Derek let him help save Derek's life Again and Again. Family Comes First.

Scott's morality is...confusing as fuck. I thought at first he was similar to Stiles, in that family came first, but...while he's protective of his mother, he also does a lot of stuff that puts her at risk without seeming to care/worry (like leaving Peter alone with her once Stiles hits their car, so he can chase Jackson) (or asking her to come to the high school when he's convinced there's a bomber in it)? Seriously, he's more protective over Allison, than his mother. It's very black and white the rest of the time. Very "this bad" "this good." And if you do "bad" then you are bad forever, while if you do "good" you are only good until you do "bad." The Betas were "good" until they asked for the bite, and then they were "Bad." Derek was "bad" when Scott met him and scared him, so after that, no matter how much "good" he did, he remained "bad." But only when it suits him. Allison is good even when she does bad, because he wants her to be good. Chris is good even though he's done mountains of bad, because of the minuscule amount of good that Scott has seen him do, because Scott wants him to be good. Even DEUCALION is good, despite the crazy CRAZY amount of bad he's done and despite having seen him do NO GOOD, just because Scott wants him to be good. Lying to those closest to you is bad, unless Scott is doing it, and then it's good, because he knows HE is good. Killing people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Letting villains go is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Biting people is bad, unless Scott is doing it. Protecting family is good even if it requires killing or lying, unless it's not Scott doing it. Revenge for past slights is good, unless it's not SCOTT doing it. And you try to understand it! You try to say, okay, then he's morally grey, got it. He plays with the rules to suit his own morality, whatever. Except that Scott, the other characters, and THE SHOW ITSELF, are all telling you otherwise! They all say that Scott is morally pure. That he is good and righteous and lawful. That he always does the "right" thing, and that when he does "bad" things, it's justified and he had to. THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES say Scott is somehow better or more righteous than the other characters by MAKING HIM AN ALPHA OUT OF NOWHERE. (I'm talking abt canon here, not going into deaton conspiracy theories) It's like....Like in the hate mail response I did, where I pointed out that Every Single Thing people get angry at Derek for doing, Scott did too. Lying, killing (or at least attempting it), attacking innocents, losing his temper, keeping secrets, refusing to work with someone who could help, etc etc etc. Everything Derek has done that is morally "wrong," Scott has also done. And that's okay! Doing a bad thing doesn't make you a bad person, and even if it did, Scott is ALLOWED to be bad! GO FOR IT.

Except that he is sinless. It isn't that he learns from the bad things he does, it's that they aren't treated like bad things in the first place. Because Scott did it, and Scott always does the right thing.

Derek's behavior is reprehensible at times, but the show ADMITS that and frames it as bad. Frames it as him doing a bad thing when he scares Isaac or throws Peter or tells Erica who to date. And that's fine, because Derek is established as not being morally pure.

But SCOTT IS. And because they were so desperate to make him continue being "Pure" they didn't frame the things he did as wrong, or if they did, they absolved him of it immediately, using the exact same reasoning that works for Derek's situations, but this time Actually Accepting it.

He scares Stiles, well it's because he's scared. He throws Isaac, it's because he's upset. He attacks Jackson well it's because Jackson was being a dick. He orders Allison to date Matt, well he had a goal to accomplish. Every reason is treated like a fucking doctor's note that erases the bad things he does.

Being scared, or angry, or retaliating to someone being an asshole, or trying to protect himself, was NEVER a good enough reason for Derek to do ANYTHING "Bad." It was never an acceptable excuse.

IF IT WERE: If the show were making a statement about how fallable people are, how they do bad things, but they do them for a REASON. How people will do wild and terrible things out of fear, and how that doesn't make it less bad, but it makes it understandable, so don't demonize them out of nowhere. If that were the case, I would HAVE BEEN FINE WITH IT.

Scott is held to COMPLETELY different standards than everyone else in the show! And I DON'T mean that people held him to higher ones. They dropped that bar so fucking low. Anything was allowed, and any excuse was good enough.

He made out with a girl who was dating someone else, who his best friend was in love with? It's just the full moon, he's angsty about losing Allison. He ducttapes Liam to a bathtub and starts throwing random phrases at him that he hated Derek for saying to him? He's freaked out! He doesn't know what to do with a bitten wolf! It was an accident! He works with a mass murderer behind people's backs without telling them the whole story? Am I talking about Gerard or Deucalion? Who fucking knows. Either way, it's okay, because he was protecting his family. He plots to murder a cancer patient slowly and painfully by replacing meds that likely included painkillers with mountain ash, and the uses someone else's body to deliver the killing blow, and it's okay because he was just being smart! He was just working ten steps ahead! He was saving his mom and the whole town! Who cares if it DIDN"T WORK?

He walks into his ex-girlfriend's hotel room and scares the SHIT out of her while she's naked and alone in the shower? It was the wolfsbane. It doesn't matter that no one else's impulses included HARASSING someone. He lies to his girlfriend's face about her own life because he doesn't think it's important enough for her to know (who am I talking about, come on, take a guess, which one is it? Allison or Kira? Trick question: it's both). He was just being kind! He didn't want to worry her! He didn't want to make her feel bad! She didn't need to know!

I'm so far off track it's not even funny. My point was that Everything the other characters in the show are demonized for or framed as evil or bad or wrong for doing, Scott is shown to do and it's treated like at minimum a comedy, if not a Perfect Brilliant Strategic Move.

God, fucking hell. I mean, the PARALLELS you see in this show, between Scott and others. The scene of Alexander Argent going to the hotel after being bit? That bit where he pulls his shirt up in the mirror? It's a near PERFECT replica of Scott looking at his bite at Deaton's. They paralleled SCOTT MCCALL with AN ARGENT. Deaton has this whole line in S2 where he's bitching at Derek about "the person you should trust the most doesn't trust you at all" And then seasons later, we have Scott look his best friend in the eye and refuse to trust him, only to get upset later because Stiles doesn't want to work with him anymore and he "lost them." Scott goes running into Derek's house in S1 to accuse him of killing the bus driver, and when he can't get a real response, he EGGS HIM ON by accusing him of Murdering his SISTER, just to get Derek to react. Which is the EXACT same thing Kate did when she showed up and wanted Derek to lose his temper. Scott is CONSTANTLY paralleled with villains and assholes, and constantly does the things that others are persecuted for. But instead of feeling regret or learning something from it, instead of growing AT ALL. Those actions are treated as good. We are told they are righteous. And clever. That they are what heroes do. AND YES: There are parallels between Derek and Stiles' behaviors and villains/morally grey characters! Of course there are!

BUT THEY AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE THE TRUE ALPHA MAIN CHARACTER. SCOTT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD GUY. HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO MIMIC/EMULATE THE VILLAINS, AND HE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REWARDED WHEN HE DOES IT ANYWAY.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I understand the urge to think that the Teen Wolf writers did all of this on purpose. That they built Scott up as an unreliable narrator, so that we're forced to come to terms with a protagonist who isn't good, and we watch them fall into a villainous role while thinking all the while they are a hero. That all these parallels are intentional and the writers just couldn't Tell us what was going on bc they didn't have enough power.

And sometimes I play into it. I will lie to myself about Scott being the 'narrator' of the entire show, and that we're seeing it all through his eyes so of course things are biased and conflicting, just so I can actually Enjoy watching it.

But I think it's absolute bullshit that this was done on purpose. It wasn't. The parallels appeared because they Wanted Scott to do the badass things that they had all the villains doing, throwing people and being sneaky and clever, and stopping the bad guy, and they didn't want to deal with the fact that they were having him do bad things. So they just pretended he wasn't and refused to acknowledge that they'd already punished other people for doing the same exact shit, but somehow Scott was getting rewarded. They wanted Scott to be the hero, so they made him the hero, and screw everybody else.

#personal #anti-Scott McCall #go for it #love mail #meta ramblings #rant #long post #WHERE IS THE READ MORE BUTTON HALP

[emiko-matsui]

hello this is my official list of what i think every member of the bau would work with if they wouldn't work at the bau like if that wasn't a reality you get me

——

Jason Gideon: look i know this is technically canon but i truly do think he would be an author and would guest lecture a bit in his later years and like sure he could still write true crime books but also just regular crime novels i think this old man would just like to write

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau: i think she would work inside of the media, not in front of the camera necessarily but as a communicator or similarly inside of the media and the news. however i think there's a possibility of a divergence of path for her, i think its possible she could end up in a hostage situation due to her job in a similar situation like in neon terror and would start working out as a coping mechanism and like genuinely would pick up a (extra?) job as a personal trainer at her gym

Derek Morgan: firefighter. that's it i don't know what to say other than that, derek would 500% be a firefighter. there's nothing else. now that i think about it derek should've been a firefighter from the beginning fuck the bau this is his true calling don't even @ me

Elle Greenaway: similarly to JJ i think elle would work inside of the media but as an investigative journalist. well i think she would start out as a regular journalist but become an investigative journalist after a while because her drive would be too big you get me. also niche but i think that when she was a teen she was like briefly a singer like you know robin from how i met your mother but she would've made angry girl music

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: genuinely don't think this punk could stay away from the government so i think he would still work a fancy government job just not inside of the bau, maybe not even the fbi but i so think he'd still be in government. now what i have no idea because i know nothing about the government especially the american government seeing as im not even remotely american

David "Dave" Rossi: now i don't even know if this fucking counts but you know those really fancy shops that are like made of dark smelling wood and is called something extravagant with a cursive gold font and they sell like cigar or wine or herbal products or like mustache wax or whatever the fuck you know the places im talking about. i think rossi would work there and be that old man at the counter who will come up and talk to you and you have no idea if he just works there and is really invested in this stuff or if he owns the place or just a really weird costumer but then he's the one you pay too so you assume it's his but the moment you step out of the store you've forgotten his face and you never want to go back there but you always think about it once a month or something. if you don't know what kinda place im talking about consider yourself lucky

Penelope Garcia: if the bau wasn't even a prospect here there's no question that penelope would still be a hacker illegally and make most of her money from there but i also think that she would work in a small second hand shop with lots of old trinkets and clothes and stuff just because she genuinely thinks it's fun to work there and also the old woman who owns the shop lets her be on the computer when there's no costumers in the store. i just think she would sit there in her cupcake dress next to a ceramic old cat from the 1930s talking to bernice about her grandson while hacking jeff bezos on her computer

Spencer Reid: now it's time for spencer all over the place reid who i think would work at like one of those really prestige but still public libraries where like everyone is welcome but they have like locked rooms with super valuable books and stuff and he kinda does whatever there bc sometimes he gives tours talking about thr history of the building and stuff and sometimes you find him at the counter ready to guide you to the specific book you're looking for plus twenty other recommendations you should read if you like this book and sometimes you find him in a window reading and his coworkers politely ignore he's had his "break" for three hours now bc he guided 17 tours yesterday (only ten were scheduled) and they suspect he mightve slept here. plus in his spare time i think he would do some independent work to keep him stimulated with stuff but that's not a fully developed idea yet

Stephen Walker: this might be controversial but i think stephen would be a guidance counsellor at like a school and i don't know why but he has the vibe and i think he would be quite good at it. maybe he just gives me more official jawbone vibes from dimension 20

Emily Prentiss: i firmly believe this woman cannot hold down a job for her life. i think the bau and interpol were flukes in her reality because im quite certain emily would physically not be able to keep one job for longer than a year. if you mention a job she's probably done it. she's done everything from high positions in government to bagging groceries to leading seminars to breeding puppies. listen emily prentiss is a lesbian ex goth trust fund kid (like canonically yall). i think right now she's working with the lights for a theatre production and she's liking it and seems to have a knack for it

Tara Lewis: this one's out there but i think she would work as a principal at a university (do universities have principals?). but like the one who's in charge of a school but like advanced studies with like adults study after they've already studied if you know what i mean. idk i just think that's what she would be

Luke Alvez: hate to do this to luke but he would simply just be a cop. or like a detective (that's like a promotion for a cop in america right? bro my knowledge extends to brooklyn 99 and brooklyn 99 only). i hope this is because i feel like luke is the serious crime version of jake peralta and jake is the sitcom version of luke. anyway, cop

Matt Simmons: this is my magnum opus but bro i think he would be a podcaster. i think he would do a podcast with kristy. for everyone who follows my blog think justin and sydnee mcelroy but matt is sydnee. i think they would have a little podcast together. after his unit at the fbi (?) got got by linda barnes i think he would retire home and start doing podcasting full time with kristy. this is my hot take

Kate Callahan: because such a central part of kate's personality/backstory is that her sister died in 9/11 i think that kate would've been a nurse. specifically a nurse not a doctor and i don't think it's because a lack of competence or anything like that fuck u no i genuinely think kate wanted to be a nurse and chose to study to become that. her hours would still be crazy but maybe meg isn't as worried about her now

Ashley Seaver: i don't have a lot for seaver but i think she would work in local government more centralised like those guys from parks and rec and yes i realise ive made way too many references that some people might not understand but here we are. i think seaver would do whatever leslie does in parks and rec or something like that

Alex Blake: this is just a formality to have her on here because she's literally a linguistics professor in the show

#criminal minds #jason gideon #jennifer jareau #derek morgan #elle greenaway #aaron hotchner #david rossi #penelope garcia #spencer reid #stephen walker #emily prentiss #kate callahan #ashley seaver #alex blake #tara lewis #luke alvez #matt simmons #himym #sydnee mcelroy #dimension 20 #parks and rec #cm

[firelxdykatara]

not gonna lie I would love to hear more about the drama and infighting that went on in The Vampire Diaries fandom if you have the time (and also want to use that time to give your experience with the fandom, which from the snippets you've told sounds Not Fun so I get it if you don't want to lol)

oh god, there was like, SO MUCH, i just

i really feel like tvd is one of those fandoms that is so hard to describe without a lot of ‘you’d have to have been there’, but it really felt like this huge and all-consuming beast for about five years until the show finally imploded and the fandom basically turned on it en masse. (you ever see that post going around that’s like ‘if you ever want to know what true regret feels like, ask someone who once called tvd their favorite show’? still a mood, all these years later. basically the entire fandom thought the show should have just bowed out with whatever shreds of dignity it had left at the end of season 6, and became more of a hatedom than a fandom for the last two seasons. when you have an entire fandom cheering news of your show’s cancellation, i think that’s a sign you done fucked up, julie.)

first and most infamous, of course, are the ship wars. which are pretty much inevitable in any teen-centered drama, and i really think the CW fucking thrives on them, but it was particularly egregious in TVD’s case because not only was the base premise of the show a love triangle, but the two main romantic leads were brothers that the show constantly pit against one another--in pursuit of elena’s affections, but also because it kept up this insistence on the ‘good brother/bad brother’ dichotomy which stopped making sense after about season 2 (by which time we have found out that the good brother was never as good as he appeared, and the bad brother has been growing and isn’t nearly as bad as he pretends to be)--and the question of which brother ‘deserved’ elena (and no, what elena wanted very rarely factored into these discussions, especially in the team stefan camp because they turned on her when what she wanted was no longer The Good Brother, but i’ll get to that in a bit) was hotly contested.

i’m not kidding when i say the shipping wars were vicious. i started watching tvd shortly after it began to air, which was late 2009, and kept up with it fairly sporadically over the years. i didn’t come onto tumblr until 2011/2012, and by then, the fandom was already pretty much a garbagefire. there were anti ship and anti character blogs, any time something bad happened for one ship the rival ship would invade the tags to gloat about it (seasons 3 and 4 were especially rough, and i’m not gonna pretend delena fans weren’t just as bad about tag invasion and shit, but as that was my side of the road i saw a lot more of the stelena shippers being assholes, which soured my opinion on the ship a long time before i started rewatching and realized the red flags were there from the start), confessions blogs were popular also toxic as fuck (so much fighting happened in the notes of those posts, good gods), and this was right around when twitter’s popularity was on the rise and the line between Celebrity and Fan was thinning, so the fandom was absolutely atrocious to much of the tvd cast and crew.

(some of them deserved a lot of the later backlash, but in the early years a lot of it was ‘how dare you write the story in a way i dont like, you terrible fucking person’, and gods don’t get me started on the dobsley vs nian Thing)

i think what really encapsulates my feelings on the tvd fandom as a whole, though, is the way they (to this DAY) treated elena gilbert, which can be summed up in one meme that gained a lot of traction around season 3 if i remember right: that gif of pam from true blood, with the text altered to read “i’m so OVER elena and her precious doppelganger vagina!”

i swear at one time i had over half the active tvd fan accounts on tumblr blocked, because i got to a point where i would no longer tolerate elena hate, and she was (and still is, in what remains of the fandom; you’ll see a lot of ‘elena was one of the worst things about the show’ takes from ex-fans, too) one of the most widely despised characters in the entire fandom. because she -checks smudged writing on hand- was a traumatized teenage girl who -reads off a crumpled notecard- couldn’t always perfectly sort out her own feelings and -squints at the ceiling- sometimes made mistakes or bad decisions. (except a lot of the fandom also insisted that she was a mary sue who had no character traits or flaws or faults and it was like....make up your fucking minds???? is she a calculating conniving bitch whose somehow manipulating these centuries old vampires to tie them around her little finger or is she a boring flat character with no depth and no flaws??? jfc)

there was this massive double standard, too--like, stefan and damon could fuck whoever they wanted and that was fine, but elena was constantly raked over the coals for the crime of developing romantic feelings for the two men who had become constants in her life and whom she cared for deeply, and oh my GOD the slut shaming that happened when elena slept with damon was fucking wild. (and also happened in canon lmfao. like the show had one of elena’s best friends basically call her diseased on screen for falling in love with someone other than stefan. it was gross and ridiculous and the friend in question was also being a giant hypocrite at the time since she was happily flirting with someone who was directly responsible for the deaths of like four of elena’s loved ones and her own boyfriend’s mother but that’s beside the point) but like elena was called a slut and a bitch and a whore for ‘cheating’ on stefan (she hadn’t, and she had in fact broken up with him on screen the episode earlier) and ‘immediately’ jumping into bed with damon, even though none of them said fucking boo when stefan had one night stands or damon had fuckbuddies or whatever.

shit, caroline didn’t get any of this treatment when she started falling for tyler while dating matt! which isn’t to say i think she should have, just that i think it’s fucking ridiculous that elena was absolutely demonized by the fandom for daring to have feelings for two guys at once and eventually acting on them--despite the fact that the entire premise of the show was a love triangle. it’s not a love triangle if both sides don’t eventually get explored, and the crew had been pretty explicit about the fact that delena was going to happen at some point--but when it did, a huge chunk of the fandom absolutely threw a fit.

and a lot of these elena haters were alleged stelena stans, and i say alleged because they hated her so much for not wanting stefan’s dick anymore that it was clear they were really stefan stans and only wanted stelena to be endgame because they wanted stefan to ‘win’ at the end of the day, because ‘he’s the good brother’ so he deserved elena more.

it was all very gross and very misogynistic and very sex shaming (apparently delena was a ‘shallow’ and ‘superficial’ relationship because they had sex after two years of unrequited feelings slowly becoming requited and then pining for ages on both sides, and because they had a lot of on screen chemistry that the show capitalized on for years so of course they did a lot of making out and shit but it’s not like stelena didn’t have its fair share of making out and sex scenes, stefan was just too much of a coward to let elena top i’d apologize for that joke but i’m really not sorry because it’s true), and when i say it was egged on by the crew, that’s because they refused to let the love triangle die back in season 4 when it should have.

they insisted on stringing stelena fans along, dropping little bread crumbs to keep them invested, like dreams of a future where they were married and revealing that stefan was also a doppelganger and he and elena were descended from a pair of star-crossed lovers (a plot that ultimately went nowhere, to no one’s great surprise), and then fucking like. julie plec turned around and threw nina under the bus after she chose not to extend her contract and pretended that stelena might have happened again if she hadn’t left the show, which....i mean frankly i wouldn’t put it past her, but it would have been shitty writing. then again, she thought having a vampire pregnancy where a uterus was magically transplanted from a witch into a vampire that could somehow......carry the babies to term.... made sense and was a good way to accomodate candice’s RL pregnancy rather than like literally ANYTHING else, soooooo. but anyway julie saying that around like, end of s6 sparked off a new wave of nina hate and elena hate and ship wars bc they SEers took it as ‘confirmation’ that stelena was REALLY meant to be endgame and it was all just a hot fucking mess

another thing is that, while tvd was in its prime before the anti/purity culture shit started picking up any real steam, there was still this pervasive attitude throughout the fandom that if you liked Damon, you were A Bad Person. liking damon was apparently grounds for insults and harassment, and apparently he was The Worst Person on the Show even though literally nothing he does on screen is any worse than shit we know stefan has done (and frankly every other vampire too, but i mention stefan specifically because he was always held up--in the show but especially in the fandom--as the Good Brother while damon was the Bad One, and if you liked damon more then that had to mean your morals were dodgy and you clearly couldn’t appreciate what a heroic and saintly figure dear stefan was and....oops, i’m sorry, my salt keeps leaking -cough-).

meanwhile klaus quickly became a fandom darling despite not even really having much of a redemption arc (on tvd anyway, he just became more ‘affably evil’ as the show went on and more inclined to work with the main characters rather than try to kill them; i have no idea what went on over on his show, though), and like i can 100% appreciate liking villains and not caring that they do dodgy villainous shit, even just liking them bc they’re hot and wanting them to kiss a main character bc they have insanely good chemistry (yes i ship klaroline, no i won’t apologize for it, they could have been Really Great), it’s just really the double standard that gets me.

and all of this, incidentally, required ignoring some truly gross shit stefan was responsible for wrt his relationship with elena, that frankly it has always bothered me never really got addressed in the show. i get why elena herself would never be able to actually call him on it, but the fact is that he stalked her for months after he first saw her and thought she was katherine (meanwhile it only took damon .5 seconds to realize she was someone else entirely, but that’s another topic entirely), and then he deliberately inserted himself into her life because, in his words, ‘i have to know her’. he never gave a thought to how his presence in her life might affect her (or rather, he did, and tormented himself about it in his internal monologue, but never let this actually dissuade him from disrupting her life), and elena would wind up blaming herself for every tragedy that befell her friends and loved ones as a result of getting mixed up in vampire bullshit even though none of it was her fault--she literally blamed herself for existing but most of the fandom didn’t give a fuck about that lmfao--and stefan did shit like find out that she was adopted and then withhold this information from her until she got pissed about another secret he was keeping (her resemblence to katherine) and drop it on her to try and distract her from her very reasonable anger, and like... i should stop before this becomes a whole rant about how much i hate stefan fucking salvatore, but the point is, he did a lot of really sketchy shit he never answered for and elena never really took him to task for, and the fandom just kept eating up his insistence that he was the Good Brother and therefore he deserved to have elena, and if she didn’t want him anymore it was because she was a heinous bitch who didn’t deserve him.

uh.....i think i got off track there. and there’s probably a lot of shit i missed, like i think i was incandescent with rage for most of seasons 5 and 6 so i missed a lot of the interfandom shit cause i was too busy being increasingly pissed off at the show itself, but if nothing else this should give you an idea of how much of a goddamn cesspit the fandom was while the show as in its prime. there’s a reason both the show and the fandom have such a lousy reputation lmfao.

#the vampire diaries #tvd #tvd fandom salt #anti stefan #anti stelena #salt for ts #asked #Anonymous

[bloody-wonder]

You know I gotta ask now for the top aftg fandom tropes that you hate

the post about fanon neil got very popular overnight and i got a bunch of new followers so let’s scare them away haha

10) when neil goes to therapy. i know he needs to but it’s very important for me that he doesn’t want to and no one forces him. he knows it works for andrew and respects his choices and andrew respects his - yet in so many fics andrew forces neil to go to therapy. it makes me uncomfortable.

9) when the foxes are depicted as way too friendly with each other. the twinyards bicker and wrestle like normal siblings. neil and allison go shopping. neil and katelyn talk about their men over a cup of coffee. like... yeah no.

8) andrew and neil hate kevin. that’s not true, they’re friends - maybe not of the matt & neil variety but still. i’ve written about them in my older posts so i won’t repeat it here but andrew and neil LIKE kevin and they are FRIENDS. i like when they tease him about exy and stuff but there’s a line between casual and vicious teasing and it’s crossed all too often.

7) aaron learns not to be homophobic. in fics where he’s a side character it happens after another argument with nicky, neil or andrew which canon aaron would never start and by the end he apologizes and becomes “redeemed tm”. even the best post canon fic lessons in cartography has this.

6) nora said that they don’t really come out to the public and i like this very much which is why i dislike the coming out trope that is very common in minyard-josten rivalry fics. their relationship and identites are private and they don’t owe anybody any information or clarification. also i think that they wouldn’t want to come out - especially not by kissing on the court after winning a match. also, they don’t go to pride parades.

5) when neil wants to figure out his sexuality and goes to nicky for advice. this is wrong on so many levels. nicky is the last person who you’d want to discuss sex with and also he doesn’t seem like he’d know a single thing about the ace spectrum. i think neil doesn’t bother with labels but if he does then he wouldn’t be comfortable talking about his and andrew’s private stuff to anyone but andrew so if someone informs him about demisexuality it would be him. 

4) when neil tries to change andrew and how he expresses his feelings. stop saying i hate you. stop saying it’s nothing. let’s hold hands in public. let’s cuddle during movie nights. and in the fic andrew does it cause he’d do anything for neil. but i believe the condition is that neil wouldn’t make such conditions so this trope doesn’t make any sense and feels very much like the writer is self-projecting onto neil and wants to turn andrew into their ideal partner. 

3) scenarios in which andreil have to “prove” to the foxes that they’re an item. on the in-universe level it happens through pda which i hate with all my heart and on the meta level it happens through the fic structure in which one of the foxes walks in on andreil being soft and only then do they realize that andreil is legit and they’re good for each other. first of all it has this voyeuristic angle which makes me uncomfortable but secondly it reinforces the idea that a relationship is a performance and it doesn’t exist unless the audience sees it and gives good reviews. also in this scenario the foxes become stand-ins for the fans which judge how andreil is portrayed and often judge them “unhealthy” and “not valid” unless they perform some kind of amatonormative, often heteronormative dynamic. i have many feelings about this and all of them are bad.

2) andrew and neil “heal” and it completely changes their personalities. neil becomes fanon neil. andrew smiles and laughs and uses pet names. they do couples stuff like dates by candle light and pda bcs “they deserve it”. they may have lived through some bad events but it’s all in the past. now they are very normal and healed and soft and everything’s fine. fuck nora.

1) “fuck nora they say ily and marry” - this i can never accept or overlook. it’s basically what’s responsible for me becoming an aftg discourse blogger - if you look at my older posts you’ll see that that’s where my origin lies. and i still stand by everything i said, only back then i thought it’s arophobia but now i know more and think that it doesn’t necessarily have something to do with people being amatonormative - it mostly has to do with people lacking common sense and decency.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg mine #aftg ask #i feel like 6 is the most controversial one #anyway #now i have to make a post about tropes i like to balance it out

[your-turn-to-role]

This is coming from a place of genuine confusion....but why does a sect of the fandom dislike Marisha so much?? Like, I haven't seen it for ANY of the other players. Is it a "wife/girlfriend of the DM" complex, because I've seen that before. Idk, I don't get it, and no amount of googling has made me understand lol.

yeahhhhhhh

okay, to preface, i absolutely disagree with all of the marisha hate, i think she's a great player and is really unfairly treated

but a couple reasons why this tends to be a thing:

1) just plain old regular misogyny, yeah. all the girls on cr get it to an extent, but it's stronger with marisha - the idea that dnd is inherently a man's game and therefore no woman could be good at it is pervasive even in this fandom, not outright, but in subtle things, like how people give the guys a lot more leeway to do dumb shit than the girls, and on dnd posts in the past i've seen comments like "this reads like how laura and marisha would describe dnd while their husbands facepalm in the background", which like... isn't really harmful on the surface, but i have a hard time imagining matt and especially travis ever facepalming at their wives genuine ideas? like if it's obviously meant to be something ridiculous and not taken seriously, sure, but otherwise, that subtle implication that they see travis as a better player than laura is just way off. (and matt has more dnd experience than marisha but like... she's still a very good player)

2) the keyleth instinct. so here's the thing about campaign one and the characters they chose to play - the majority of the cast played within their comfort zone. they branched out a lot for c2, and obviously they as people aren't identical to their vox machina counterparts, but they're not too far away either. liam's stated he irl would be a rogue, taliesin likes playing intelligent edgy teenage assholes bc he was one, laura is a bit more goofy than vex but she still thinks a lot the same, scanlan is very sam, travis is obviously a lot smarter than grog but he still fell very in line with the kind of character travis is comfortable playing and the things he wants to explore.

but marisha chose a character in campaign one who was completely the opposite of her natural self. marisha is confident and very take no shit and a natural leader, keyleth is awkward and shy and doubts herself and overthinks things and has really bad luck in basically everything she ever tries. and people watched campaign one and assumed all of those traits were just the way marisha was. if you aren't drawn to keyleth as a character, it's relatively easy to find ways to hate her (which again circles back to the misogyny a bit). they see keyleth constantly fuck up due to awkwardness and think "marisha doesn't know how to play the game". they see keyleth be a mess of a person socially and think "wow marisha's not a very good actor if she can't handle this", completely ignoring the fact that she is acting very well and it's proven by the fact that they think keyleth is marisha

(and while she still gets hate as either character, the keyleth hate was far worse than the beau hate)

3) people just, not getting what she's doing. i wasn't in the fandom for the early days of cr2, but i have friends who were, and they've said there were circles of the fandom where everything marisha did was in question, even people not believing beau was a lesbian when it's made obvious in episode one, because what if she's doing it on purpose as a scam? and like, to broaden that a bit, i think marisha's characters and their decisions get misread a lot. i personally happen to find both beau and keyleth very relatable, so i usually get where they're coming from (mostly, bowlgate i was more on caleb's side there, but i still don't think she deserves hate for it), but to people who don't, or just haven't put effort into trying to understand marisha's characters, then between keyleth's awkwardness and beau's abrasiveness i think the majority of what they pick up from marisha's characters is negative

which is a shame, because they're both really good, well thought out, interesting characters.

4) this is going into my own meta for a bit, but, something i've found about marisha's characters is they're quite down to earth and very easily the viewpoint character of the group, in a way? like obviously it's an ensemble cast, but like... let's take keyleth. campaign one starts and ends with her. the very first adventure is triggered by her leaving home for the first time, to start her aramente. she's led a sheltered life up to this point, she doesn't know the world she's walking into - so we learn about this fantasy world at the same time she does. she has the most linear and easy to follow development, her aramente spans most of the story, and once it's done things only get more centered on her. she's now a leader of her people, she's fulfilled her destiny, but that means she lives so long all her worst fears are coming true - that she'll have to spend the rest of her life alone. how did we learn this was her biggest fear? because she's been scared since the start of losing vax, but the reason she has him at all is she resolved to not let that fear control her. and then as the endgame comes in, she suddenly has to face that head on. vax has a week left to live. barely two days after, they run into sprigg - someone who lived so long after all his friends died that he's lost himself, forgotten them, become a hermit of a person who's just living because he's got nothing better to do - everything keyleth believes she will become, and fears so much. but he proves she can still choose to remember them, and choose to live in their absence, not just survive. keyleth is the one who seals away vecna, who's grown so much in her power since that little scared druid girl, she can banish a god. and our story ends with her, and her father, and a raven - she's moving on, she's living, she's thriving, but she'll never forget.

if i was gonna write out vox machina's story as a novel, there is no character who would better suit being the protagonist than her

it's a bit less strong with beau, but she's still one of the more relatable characters, she's a human, who had a rebellious teenage years because of shitty overbearing parents, she's not a magic user, she's from the country we start in (and doesn't have a dark dangerous mystical secret like caleb and veth), a lot of the big turning points in the story have had her take the lead, it's the relative mundanity that gives a contrast to and lifts up the others, while still being a highly interesting character in her own right. beau is a grounding force of the mighty nein.

i personally like those kinds of characters, but i've noticed in almost all fandoms with a main character and then a group of side characters, the main character is rarely anyone's fave, overlooked in favour more (subjectively) interesting side characters, but then because the story puts the focus on the main character, people get sick of them and start to hate them? and in this form of storytelling, there is no main character, but people sorta do that to those kinds of characters anyway. and in addition to all the other marisha stuff, that probably contributes

#but hey marisha's awesome and i love her and more people should appreciate her characters #crit role cast #marisha ray #cr1 #cr2 #keyleth #beauregard lionett #text #meta #cr thoughts #ask #critical role #annalise-inks

[urmomsstuntdouble]

ok not sure how comprehensible this post is gonna be but! regarding the languages discussion, here are my thoughts about the anglo americans. be warned this post is long as fuck, but thank you so much if you do read all of it, and i’d love to hear your thoughts about it as well! 

so i just wanna start with alfred’s name- alfred. i think he may be named after alfred the great of wessex, who may or may not have been the first king of england. he wasn’t technically the king of a unified england that we’d think of it as today- he was the king of wessex, as his title implies, but there was a point at which he was “in charge” or however you want to put it of most of present day southern england. anyway this presents the first of his issues with his identity. he’s permanently tied to britain beyond just his culture and most common language- his name is a reminder of who he “belongs to.” of course most people don’t know that and they just think it’s a little odd that this 19yo miles morales type is called alfred but eh, what are you gonna do. 

then you have the fact that there’s no official language in the US, which makes things a little harder for him. he’s never sure what language he’s supposed to be speaking in, as the human representative of america. he thinks it should be english, seeing as that is the lingua franca, but there’s times when he just doesn’t vibe with english as a language. i mentioned before that he struggles with keeping his (spanish) dialects straight (which @cupofkey summed up as immigrant-kid-syndrome and that’s exactly it), although its not limited to just spanish. he also has a hard time keeping other shit in line, to the extent where his thoughts are a messy jumble of languages, concepts, images, and feelings. this is most evident when he’s nervous, because his accent will get super thick and he’ll start just saying the words that pop into his mind, even if they’re in another language or straight up not words at all. the only peson who can understand him when he’s doing this is canada. both of them are countries of immigrants, although they are different in who immigrated and when, so they dont have the exact same nervous tick language, but it’s close enough that they can communicate well. it’s sort of like a more global version of europanto? might sound something like this to an outside observer, but again, more global (also for the video they dont start talking until 1:17). 

america and canada also have a sort of inextricable bond because of the first nations people. the first tribe that comes to mind are the members of the okanagan national alliance, which straddles the present day border of british columbia and washington state (this is also something america shares with mexico). it’s caused a lot of pain between them personally, and with the okanagan nation. just as the border itself is vague- though the us-canada border is more respected than the okanagan borders- the parts of their identities are also vague. they feel bits and pieces of themselves ebbing and flowing, and matt and fred have gotten into arguments about it because they struggle to define their identities and they just want to be able to explain themselves to themselves. but you know that often winds up causing friction with the okanagan nations, because whatever issues with identity regarding their indigenous people fred and matt are having. they’ve got it worse, only in a sort of..negative image. like whereas fred and matt feel it on the fringes of themselves, making it so they cant tell where they end and other nations begin, the okanagan nations feel themselves being slowly eroded. none of them want each other to suffer, though, because the okanagan people can be americans and canadians and okanagans all at the same time. 

this also applies with the american border with mexico, seeing as there’s some areas in the southwestern us where spanish is spoken more than english. when he’s down there, freddie finds it easier to communicate than when he’s speaking english. chicano is his language just as much as english is- he just sort of became able to speak it when the west was colonized, and he already knew spanish for business purposes, so there ya go. there are some issues with that though because the spanish in the west is primarily from mexico and central america, whereas the east is more from the caribbean- like how miami has a large cuban minority. so he’s got a weird sort of chicano english too, because it’s no longer “pure” chicano. pure is a very loose term there because there is of course variation within southwestern chicano speakers. angelinos don’t have the same chicano as nuevomexicanos. anyway i think he’d get it mixed up with spanish proper or spanglish a lot because of the similar phonetic rules. i’m not sure about any indigenous tribes who have land that straddles the us-mexico border, but that’s probably not alfred’s biggest worry with That Border. actually no i think he might purposefully talk in an aggressively chicano dialect whenever someone in the government wants to talk to him about the ice concentration camps. like he usually doesn’t try that hard to keep the wrong language out of his mouth but he will go Full Chicano, just to make them uncomfortable and to try to get the point across that he can literally feel the physical pain of the people trapped at the border in those camps. but this also causes some tension with the countries of origins of those people, seeing as they can also feel that pain. there’s quite a lot of discourse between america, mexico, guatemala, honduras, and el salvador about that, because none of them quite know what to do. they argue again about whose pain it is and how they should, as nation personifications, deal with it.

another thing that he struggles with where matt is concerned is with his indigenous languages. the languages of his northernmost people are the most at risk and endangered, and some are actually in the process of dying. he hates that, because as much as he wants to act like he speaks just SCE and quebecois, he doesn’t. he knows all of his people’s languages, and it makes him feel like he’s losing his identity a little bit when his indigenous languages start fading away. the worst part about this is that he doesn’t even always know it’s happening until the fading feeling kicks in, so sometimes he’ll just make a point of going up to the northwestern territories and try to hang out with the oldest inuit people he can find to try and have a chat. and it’s ROUGH communicating at first but when he can get back into it he feels more solid and defined. i think this isn’t unique to him, and that the other countries in the americas do this too, but bc of the way civil rights work in canada, it’s a little different for him. because indigenous canadians are recognized as a certain class of citizen, indigenous canadian governments have a collective legal bargaining power and could theoretically ask for legal protections from the ottowa government for their languages. however, this doesn’t apply to the northwest territories, so that’s why matt goes there specifically to talk to old ass indigenous people. their languages aren’t protected legally in the same way that french and quebecois are, so he sort of takes it upon himself as mr canada to do preserve the languages and history. it’s especially sad when a language dies out forever, because then he’s one of very few people who still speak it and if he wants anyone else to know about it he’d have to teach them. but since the language is dead, there’s no one for him to get help from. the people who once spoke it are gone or use other languages now, and it’s all very weight of the world on his shoulders. i think this makes him very sad, because of the weirdly smug left wing anti-american nature of canadian nationalism. like he understands exactly the sort of pressure freddie is under but also has a cultural pressure to not say anything about it or even offer to help. 

this is also why he has the most boring and basic idiolect out of perhaps the entire anglosphere- even arthur has a distinct posh dialect that he uses most of the time. matthew talks like a textbook. a very polite and anxious textbook, but a textbook all the same. and matthew williams actually kind of likes what alfred jones has going on, but canada doesn’t. canada fell into british hands after the end of the 7yr war, which happened to be the war that sparked the american revolution (speaking of which the ages for america and canada make no goddamn sense, ask me about it if you want more detailed thoughts). loyalists fled to canada, and developed a superiority complex around the idea that they weren’t ungrateful. then it was about how they weren’t slave owners- which isn’t entirely true- and in the present day, even in hetalia canon, canadians often define themselves in relation to america. that is, they are better than americans because of xyz political thing. right now, to quote the anime, it’s “our free healthcare and lack of gun crime, eh.” this also poses some difficulties for canada in terms of culture, though, because if that much of their national pride comes from being better than america, what do they have to make a name for themselves? for anglo canadians, that’s a more complicated question. for quebeckers, it’s that the’re not anglo canadians. but quebec is also annoying as fuck and canada actually has nightmares about there being a successful secession movement there, so. i don’t know what the average anglo canadian thinks of quebec seeing as im not an average anglo canadian, but i do know that i hate their accents so now matt does too, although he will respect their right to have their language protected by the ottowa government (because quebec, that’s why). 

anyway i do have one last thought and that’s that nobody will ever really know america or canada like they know each other. they struggle with a lot of the same issues regarding language, but america has just sort of given up. in some ways, matt’s jealous of him, and in others he’s so glad he’s not the united states. but they do understand each other a lot as the anglo americans, and as some of the number one destinations for immigration out of the entire world. so yeah, i dont have any specific strong conclusion ot this post, but would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about languages in the americas! shit’s wack in this neck of the woods my dudes. 

oh actually one last thing. i think america and canada struggle a bit with their identities because they dont fit into any one specific group, linguistically or otherwise. they feel a bit isolated from the rest of the world specifically due to the intensity of the melting pot effect, and even within their own countries sometimes. people will be like oh you’re too white or you’re too black or you’re too dine or too much whatever other culture, so they often feel isolated from that stuff because they are all of those things, and have a deep connection with all of it. anyway they’ll always be there for each other

#hhh this is Long #good job if you read all that its just pure unfiltered thoughts about the anglo americans #anyway sorry if the stuff about indigenous languages was weird or wrong #i have family who are dine so i tried to echo what they've told me about their relationships with that aspect of their heritage #as white passing dine latinos #but also just thinking about how fucking painful it must be to be a country #like my heart really goes out to them #specifically these lads #just because of the treatment of minorities within their borders..like how in the us you have so called patriots who are violently racist #im not sure how exactly i think stuff like domestic genocide or ethnic cleansing works in hetalia #but i think it might be analogous to self harm #idk #anyway enjoy this #hetalia #hws #hws america #hws canada #hws mexico #sort of #hws languages #this took..way too long to write but eh i enjoyed it #ceros posting

[faedawayyy]

part 1

THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT MY CHARACTERS THAT ARE ABSOLUTELY CANON. IT’S JUST HOW THEY FEEL, GO AWAY.

BASICALLY, this is a masterlist of things i want people to know about them but they’d never necessarily say or show outloud bc most of them as stubborn as fuck.

DALLAS

he doesn’t regret or hate any of his exes at all. he is completely indifferent towards liana and gisele, still loves soraya and has a kind of up-down mood towards riley and zara. ruby’s a friend.

he believes he’ll end up with soraya...like one thousand percent. she’s the only person he’s loved. 

charlie, matt and evan are the only people he’d give the label of ‘true friends’ and it definitely isn’t what he would’ve expected a few years ago.

his weakness is people feeling proud of him. like that’s something he craves constantly and when it happens, or you show it genuinely, you’re most likely to get through to him.

his natural coping mechanism is to act out; some people shut down/drink/take drugs. the more extreme dallas’s behaviour is and the harsher he’s behaving, the more you know he’s hurting/in a bad place. 

definitely the victim of a serious god complex. he believes with his whole heart that some of his worst work is still better than a lot of peoples best (so do i cause im a bieber fan LOL) 

he’s intelligent - scarily so...he got into several top colleges after high school including yale (where he attended for half of a semester/term), oxford and UCL. 

before his dad’s debt engulfed his family, he had a really good relationship with him and played multiple sports including hockey and golf. 

he can’t picture himself living past 30...or 27 some days. 

biggest character flaw EASILY is not knowing how to ask for or accept help. it’s been the root of ALL of his bad decisions and shitty actions. 

this literally isn’t a secret but he doesn’t give up. if you push him, he’ll push back harder and would sooner escalate a situation than be the one to walk away. 

he does everything in his power to not have to sleep in his family home. 

a cute hidden quality - he’s shockingly very good with children 

a shit hidden quality - a lot of his choice of girlfriend’s have to do whether he finds them physically attractive or not. if it’s an ‘or not’, chances are he won’t even consider it. 

his personality type is estp - bold, practical, original, direct, insensitive, risk-prone, unstructured, defiant 

he is HIGHLY impulsive and quick to act on feelings. back to his exes, this has often made him feel like he loves people that he definitely doesn’t. 

he’s actually HUGELY affectionate and that’s the tell tale sign of who he likes and who he doesn’t. if you’ve known him and he’s never acted soft/affectionate, he didn’t care in the first place. 

he’s one million percent had his heartbroken. he’ll tell you he hasn’t all day. 

conflicting with his god complex is crushingly low self-esteem when it comes to things like being worth of peoples time/energy/genuine interest beyond just being funny/hooking up with. 

silent reassurance is a thing for him. he’ll check that someone he’s comfortable with/loves is there every so often as social events and eye contact/acknowledgement definitely helps 

MASON

confrontation and disputes gives him huge anxiety but the carmichael house is the definition of toxic masculinity, so he swallows it and tries to be as rational as possible in arguments. 

comparison is a very real thing for him. he compares every element and detail of his life to others; especially the other boys. 

he considers madison his first love 

his love language is definitely acts of service, if he’s willing to help and  work towards something w.you, then he cares. 

he is definitely a burnt out over-achiever. he struggles with the concept of ‘reaching his full potential’ and no matter what he does, he doesn’t feel like he’s ever there

between leo and brody, he feels like he was never a child or even young. he’s always had a really wise head on his shoulders and is rarely impulsive. it’s the thing he hates most about himself...yet the thing a lot of people find appealing 

if you mention a critically acclaimed movie as your favourite, it gives him a bad first impression of you LOL 

he struggles to show emotion more than the others, who tend to act out and make rash decisions. i doubt anybody’s seen him cry ever. 

he didn’t peak in high school but he 100% misses who he was back then 

nostalgia is something that consumes him sometimes - if he’s shared a deep connection or memories with you, he won’t forget about you 

he’s literally never been on the wrong side of the law but police sirens make him anxious 

he never wants to be turn out like his dad, but also wants everything his dad created and had and it’s his biggest dilemma 

dogs are and have always been his favourite animal

organisation is a big thing to him. people probably assume kendall is the one who keeps things in check in their apartment, but it’s totally him. cabinets, wardrobes, shelves and everything...he can’t leave it alone if it’s disorganised 

he struggles being spoken down to or feeling like he’s being patronised. it’s the quickest way to piss him off 

he over-thinks everything, even if it doesn’t feel like it 

his worst habit is nail biting. he even had the stuff you put on your fingers as a kid and it didn’t squash it

he’s vegetarian 

if he wasn’t a carmichael, he definitely would’ve gone backpacking and worked from place to place after school but his dad definitely wouldn’t have approved

feeling useful to people is something that makes him feel self-worth 

it’s very rare for him to quit ANYTHING. if he’s committed, he’ll be in it until it comes to a natural end or just forever

NATE

an actual clean freak. he hates mess. 

he doesn’t know if imogen is/was his first love but he definitely considers her his soulmate

when he falls for someone, he falls HARD and will definitely give up some of his own values or change to impress somebody 

he has a lot of opinions and ideas but finds it hard to articulate them, he’s always found it easier to fall into the ‘hot guy’ trope and it’s got him far enough so he can’t complain 

he’s lowkey into zodiac signs and astrology but wouldn’t ever outwardly show it 

he’s VERY domestic; cooking, cleaning handy-work etc. are all strong points of his. it’s rare you’ll find any space he’s living in a mess 

he’s a romantic but quietly. the amount of time he spends thinking about dating/his love life/his future wife/kids scares him sometimes 

if he shouts, he’s not even that mad. when he gives up and just let’s someone go off/or he walks off, that’s usually when he’s hit rock bottom with someone 

big hero 6 is his favourite movie but he says black panther because it’s more acceptable to most LOL 

he suffers with health anxiety; not working out properly, or eating too much junk food will send him on a weird spiral where he’s hard on himself for months 

he always smells good. always. 

he doesn’t like people who act dumb for attention, it’s probably his pet peeve 

his harry potter house is slytherin, i took the test for him. 

he loves all of his sisters but is definitely the closest to evie, it may have something to do with them being the youngest of the 5. 

the thought of having to play any board game upsets him a lot 

if he sleeps over at anybody’s house, he has to bring his own pillow. most people who know him have just accepted it 

even now he’s older, his parents are very much his parents - he hasn’t got that friendly vibe some people get with their parents once they pass 20.

he’s a pretty good chameleon. he can shift and change depending on the crowd he’s with without being too obvious 

#dallas musings #mason musings #nate musings

[stonerbughead]

Maria watches friday night lights (#24)

I’m here! The final season! 5x01, here we go.

“Don’t you just love summer in Texas? 7 am and I’m already sweating like a whore in church.” This, set against the montage of summer in Dillon with trash pick up and kids running through a sprinkler, is true perfection.

let’s dive in, under the cut:

Lol is that Tinker driving alongside Vince and Luke running? Hilarious/wholesome image.

Buddy as a radio host really truly makes so much sense. Why didn’t they think of this sooner lmao

Oh my babe Tim!! on the inside but he’s getting out in three months, ok I see that

“I kinda coached you.” “Coach was my coach, billy.” Lmao “You could be a little more enthusiastic.” “Sorry, Billy, but im in prison.” Uh yeah. read the room, Billy!

Oh Tim, my poor babe 😭 wants to be visited *less* by his brother and friend. Abolish prisonssssss ugh

Oh Tami coming into the first staff meeting and immediately proposing the rest of the staff do more work probably isn’t the most strategic choice lol

This reminds me a lot of teacher meetings in season 4 of The Wire, with all of the staff talking about particular problem children the system is failing. And oh boy they all hate a teenage girl named Epyck. “I just wish she wouldn’t come into school.” Uh you should not be a teacher, miss! But also: you all need more resources.

Jess and Vince are as cute as I knew they’d be omg. “I thought you might need help with the laundry.” OKKKK

Ugh poor Becky! her dad is so gross. She’s stuck with her—I’m sure—evil stepmother and half sister? Major yikes!

The idea of Billy working for Eric Taylor is...interesting. And his argument is basically “you are inspirational and could make me a better person under your influence.” Man, only a mediocre white dude could get away with this!

Yessss Devin is still here playing in a band with Landry and that drummer whose name I can’t remember — oh jimmy okay! Devin is still the coolest character in this town.

Wow Landry is playing a show with his hometown band the night before leaving for college? That’s...a choice!

Oh geez something about Buddy and Eric watching mainly Black kids play basketball whilr recruiting for the team...and of course the one Buddy has his eye on is the one white kid lmao I can’t

“I’m not football stupid.” Lol good one.

“Worst instincts of american culture—violence, aggression.” Okay sexy! what’s your name white kid with moves?

“You’re in Texas now. You love the game of football. You just dont know it yet.” LOL

Aww Tami talking about how this girl Epyck all the other teachers hate has never been properly cared for to succeed is exactly why a guidance counselor like her needs to be in East Dillon. but yeah she’s bout to learn REAL fast what lack of funding and institutional racism look like! Eric is right about her not being the big cheese anymore and being able to change everything at once.

“Yes I’m stealing a basketball player but I’m doing it one step at a time.” Lmao

AWWWW Eric saying “I’m gonna miss this” quietly while eating with his family bc Julie’s about to go to college!! My heart.

“Oh boy oh boy” — literally me, physically tensing up, when Billy tried to give his little inspirational speech to the football team toooooo much he is so cringe. OMFG he read “if you can believe it you might achieve it” off a piece of paper from his pocket and attributed it i literally cannot

“The hippie? What for?” Lol that basketball player is considered a hippie in Dillon? Hilarious. The south is wild.

“These kids are being forgotten.” “Tami, it’s a matter of resources.” “I’m your resource!” Yes Tami but you alone cannot fix dozens of kids who are products of being in a system with lack of resources since before they even started elementary school.

Damn big Mary is out franchising and being corporate dad while Jess watches his children?? Not cool.

“So who is this guy?” “He’s not the punter, you wouldn’t be interested.” LMAO VINCE GOOD ONE

Aww Landry came to say goodbye to Mrs. Saracen. Aw he’s going to Rice? That’s a good school.

OMFG Mrs. Saracen has Landry’s music in her MP3 player???? My fucking heart 🥺

Grace is soooo cute holy shit

Oh wow does Crucifictorious or whatever have fans singing along? It’s really nice that Julie went out of her way to go.

Are we contrasting this with an East Dillon farm party? Ew so drunkenly kissing farm animals is what these kids do for fun huh

“I like knowing that I can do whatever I want. I’m a free spirit.” LMAO I hate this guy

“I’m gonna miss this.” “Miss Dillon?” “No I’m gonna miss the Alamo freeze and all their cool treats and hot eats.” LMAOOOO Landry

Omg they’re reminiscing about Matt working at the Alamo freeze. “I miss his little white hat.” L O L

Lol Landry and Julie say their final goodbye in the strip club, nice. “I’ll see you at Christmas.”

Omg Eric searching through their boxes for ping pong paddles so he can play a final game with Julie has my whole heart. Omfg and they found her Girl Scout vest.

Awww they’re playing in the garage, the season 1 vibes, oh my heart.

Oh so is the basketball coach mad about Hastings playing football? Wild culture truly.

(In the end, a teenage boy can’t help but answer the siren call of other teenage boys chanting his name)

Oh poor Andre acting out about their parental neglect at the Classic. Too real but babe it’s not Jess’s fault 😭

Go Tinker!!!

Hastings knowing some strategic info about another team from basketball, very interesting touch.

Wow Hastings somehow doing well without knowing what he’s doing or seemingly understanding football is hilarious.

“Lions win, lions win! Oh, the humanity! Alarm bells are going off all over Texas right now!”

Oh wow it’s happeninggggg

Ewww Becky really has an evil stepmom like Jesus can she have any positive parental figures

Jess and Vince are cute af. Vince helping Andre out 🥺

Honestly yeah I don’t blame Becky for wanting to leave that emotionally abusive household. The found family code in this town is so well established by now. like, Billy is obligated to take Becky in bc Tim considers her family and I’m like, yep!

Ohhh the Taylors sending their first kid off to college, emotional!!!

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights 5x01

[archivistsrock]

I finally got to see Papi Chulo this weekend! I never thought the day would come! lol. I swear, it's been like a million years since it first was at TIFF.

Here’s the trailer for the movie:

General impressions: I really liked it! It was playing at a theater that was over an hour away from me, so I didn't want to ask any of my friends to go (they aren't Matt fans. I mean, that makes it sound like they don't like him, which isn't true...they're just not FANS). So I dragged my mom with me LOL. She's a trooper. Anyway, because I dragged my mom there, I was a little preoccupied the whole time wondering/worrying if she was bored. I really need to just go to Matt movies alone so I'm not focused on the enjoyment of the person I'm with. I worry too much.

But anyway, it was good! It was sweet and sad and funny. It was a little slow-paced, I would say. But not necessarily in a bad way. There are a few things that are revealed during the movie that makes things more impactful. I knew about them beforehand, bc I'm a slut for spoilers ha, but probs would have been more impactful if I hadn't known.

Matt is really good in it. I adore his character (Sean). He's just a really nice guy. Well-intentioned. Obvs has some flaws, but who doesn't? It's nice to have a movie where almost every scene features Matt. <3  Alejandro Pitino was also great in it. And Janet from The Good Place is also in it! lol.

To be honest, I don't really see it as a "buddy movie," which they seem to kind of be marketing it as. Mainly because the friendship is really one-sided. Ernesto maybe "gets along" with Sean, but I think it's a big stretch to say they're friends. The movie is much more about dealing with loss and loneliness than about friendship, and of the importance of real human interaction. By nature of Ernesto being an immigrant, the movies touches on some issues related to that, as well...but I don't see them as nearly the main focus.

I had kind of stopped reading reviews about the movie bc, tbh, I was just super annoyed that I couldn't see it. After viewing it, I went and read the more critical review on The Wrap [x]. And honestly? She's not wrong. I think some of her critiques are a wee bit harsh, but overall I can't really argue against most of her points. That said, I definitely don't think the movie is OFFENSIVE. But I do get the criticisms and why some people may not enjoy it. But I really did.

Okay, now I'm going to get really detailed and spoilery by request, so stop reading if you haven't seen it and don't like being spoiled! I warned you!

Okay, here's a run-down of the movie -- as detailed as I can get, considering I saw it 4 days ago and tbh my memory kind of sucks. It starts out with the clip we've all seen of Matt doing the weather forecast and having a breakdown on air.

Go to 6:35 to see that clip below:

He tries to claim it was "gastro" related, but obvs no one buys that. They force him to go home and take a leave of absence to figure things out and get better (istg they later refer to this as "gardening leave" and is that a thing in some places??? Like, you get leave to work on your garden?? OKAY I just looked it up and LOL it's just a term for someone still getting paid after they're suspended or on leave or terminated. It seems to be a British term. Must have come from the director, who's Irish. Or have other US-folks heard this term?). Anyway, back to the movie.

So he's at home. Nice house. Good view of LA. Lots of coyotes howling at night.  He's arranged to have a couple people come by to pick up this rare tree that's on his deck, that belonged to his ex-boyfriend, Carlos. He keeps calling Carlos and leaving voice messages. "Hey, just letting you know I'm getting rid of your tree." Etc. So they drag the tree away and we notice that when Carlos painted the deck, he didn't bother moving the tree, so there's a big unpainted circle in the middle of the deck. "Typical Carlos..." So Sean drives to the small hardware store to get supplies to fix this.

Outside the hardware store, there are a bunch of Latino immigrants/laborers hoping to get hired by people to do...home improvement/handy man stuff. Sean sees Ernesto and seems preoccupied/interested in him. Ernesto, as you know, is an older more burly Latino guy. Sean goes into the hardware store are talks to an employee about paint for his deck. "I just need a small amount to cover a little spot on the deck." "Aren't you going to paint the whole deck so it blends in?" "Haha, I see what you're trying to do there. No, just the tiny-ass sample can please."

So he gets home and starts painting in the circle, and it's painfully obvious he'll need to redo the whole deck, since all the rest of the paint has faded. So he drives back to the hardware store and is like, "Yeah, so I know I ignored your advice before. Sorry, I'm dumb." He buys more paint and a bigger brush. So he drives home with all his stuff, again passing the laborers and looking at Ernesto.

Once home, he checks his email and there's messages from his friends about how he's doing -- presumably since his break-up with Carlos. He's been avoiding his friends, and they're telling him he needs real human interaction and should talk to someone. He has kind of a light bulb moment and drives back to the hardware store and pulls up alongside the Latino laborers. He's like, "Hey, I need someone who can paint." A bunch of them are kind of in his face about it, wanting to be hired. Ernesto is just hanging back, quiet. Sean points to Ernesto and asks if he can paint. He's like "Yes. $20/hour." "Great!" (although Ernesto speaks little English and Sean speaks little Spanish, so it wasn't that easy). So Ernesto gets back in the car and they drive to Sean's house.

He kind of reminds me of me during this part, because he hired Ernesto to work for him, but when they're getting out of the car and Ernesto gets the bag of paint, Sean is like, "No, no! Let me get that!" They go back and forth a bit, but Ernesto ends up carrying it. Anyway, I always feel weird having people do things for me, even if I'm paying them. So he shows Ernesto the deck and we get the other scene we've seen before. The "more than one day" scene. "Mas que un dia."

Sean is all like, "Do you want water? Food? Are you okay?" etc. Ernesto is kind of amused but also just like...leave me alone and let me work. This is weird. I don't understand anything you're saying.

Sean goes and gets lunch and  brings it back and yells out to Ernesto, "Lunch!" Ernesto is like...okay. Time to eat, I guess. And sits down on the deck and takes something wrapped in tinfoil out of his bag. Sean is like, "No! Inside! I brought lunch for us!" And it's like this whole big spread. Some type of Asian cuisine. I can't remember which, but Ernesto picks up an eggroll and is like, "Taquito!" lol. You can tell Ernesto is a little uncomfortable with everything, but he's also just like...rolling with it. Okay, you're paying me. I guess we're eating lunch.

Then Sean convinces him to leave with him and they go to a park and Sean wants to go out in a rowboat. Sean wants to row, but Ernesto is like, "Yeah, I'm not going in there with you unless I row." So he ends up rowing. Please note, that all this "conversation" is not as smooth as I'm writing it! Ernesto really doesn't get much of anything Sean says. Anyway, Sean treats the rowboat ride like he's in therapy. He just starts spilling his feelings and issues out to Ernesto. Ernesto just nods like, "Yeah, okay." At one point, I think he does say something like, "I don't understand anything you're saying." Sean is like, "I feel so much better just saying this stuff out loud!" He falls asleep in the boat, and Ernesto calls his wife and is like, "GUESS WHERE I AM?? IN A FUCKING ROWBOAT WITH THIS GUY." His wife is like, "Ha! He's gay and he totally digs you." Ernesto is like,"Yeah, he's gay. But he doesn't like me. I'm old. I'm fat. Why would he like me?" His wife is all cute and is like, "I'm a woman. I know these things. He's into you." Then Sean wakes up so Ernesto hangs up the phone.

They get back to the pier and the rowboat operator guy says, "I like this whole "Driving Miss Daisy" situation you guys have going on!" Sean gets pissed and is like, "What do you mean?? We're friends. Why would you say it's like "Driving Miss Daisy"??" The operator guys gets all uncomfortable and is like..."Umm...because he's rowing you around....?" So Sean is pissed that the guy assumes he paid Ernesto to row him around. But also like...it's true. As much as Sean is annoyed that the man is making that assumption, they really aren't friends. The only reason they're there together is because Sean is paying Ernesto. So he then drops Ernesto back off at the hardware store at the end of the day and is like. "Tomorrow? Here at the hardware store?" "Okay." Then he pays him the money he owes him and they part ways.

I don't recall exactly the timeline here, but at various points throughout the movie, Sean is scrolling through Grindr, or whatever hook-up app it is he's using. He's also shown lying in bed at night and is tortured by the sound of coyotes howling.

He picks up Ernesto the next morning and is like, "We're hiking. Not painting." So he takes him to Runyon Canyon to hike. On the hike, Sean keeps talking talking talking and Ernesto is still like, "Okay, I have no idea what you're saying." At a scenic viewpoint, they're looking out at the city. Sean casually asks where Ernesto lives, and this kind of freaks Ernesto out. Like "Why do you want to know??" Sean's like, "Oh, I'm just curious!" Anyway, he points and says the general area (I can't remember which town/neighborhood it was). While they're standing there, one of Sean's friends sees them and comes over. He volunteers to take a pic of the two of them, and when he does, he says, "Cute couple!" Sean starts to correct him but then doesn't. Ernesto doesn't say anything, obviously. The friend then invites Sean to a party he's having the next evening. Sean does learn a little about Ernesto throughout the few days together. He learns he's married and has kids. He sees a pic of them. Honestly, that's about it.

Ernesto calls his wife from here and again is like, "Guess where the fuck I am now?? HIKING. Yeah, it's pretty." But he actually feels guilty for getting paid to go on hikes. His wife is like, "Whatever. He's paying you. Cool beans." Sean then takes Ernesto to a health market and wants him to try a shot of some gross health drink. He takes a sip and is like, "No. This is disgusting." Sean's like, "Yeah, you're right. It's horrid. But it's healthy and I'm drinking it bc it cost a shit ton." Oh, while Sean was buying the drink, one of the store employees went up to Carlos and handed him a bunch of boxes because he thought he worked there. He got him mixed up with another Latino guy working there. Awkward. White people are dumb.

Sean drives Ernesto back the hardware store and is like, "Okay, tomorrow. Meet you here. Also, we're going to a party later that night."

I don't remember the next day very well. I assume maybe Ernesto did some work? Not sure. Anyway, they then go to Sean's friend's party together. It a big party of all gay men. Ernesto gets kissed on the mouth (not in a sexual way) by one of Sean's friends. He obvs feels a little uncomfortable. Mostly bc he doesn't know any of them and I assume can't communicate with them. He doesn't seem to have a big issue with gay guys. Whenever Sean's friends see Ernesto, they're all like, "Oh, I get it." We later see Sean's phone contacts and a pic of his ex Carlos, and he is also an older, burlier Latino man. So clearly, Ernesto reminds Sean of Carlos. Now we understand his...obsession? Fixation? Attachment?

Ernesto calls his wife from the party is is kind of freaking out about it. "A MAN KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH." But his wife is like, "Dude, have fun." So he seems to have a decent time. Then they leave the party in a Lyft and there's a pretty great scene where Madonna's "Borderline" comes on the radio and Ernesto is like, "Hey, I know this song!" So they drunkenly sing it together in the back of the Lyft. The Lyft stops at the hardware store, and they're both sitting in the back of the car looking at each other. Sean looks a little confused as to why Ernesto is sitting there looking at him. He then leans in to kiss Ernesto, but Ernesto is like. "No! I'm waiting for my money." The Sean's like, "OMG yeah. Sorry." And he pays him and Ernesto gets out. Then the Lyft takes Sean home.

We then see Ernesto make his way home. He has to take a couple buses. He finally get home and we see his house and his wife. It's a pretty nice house. Normal, I mean. Not Sean-level nice. His wife is awesome. Ernesto is like, "Honey, you were right. I am irresistible." "I told you I knew!" Then they go to the bedroom to presumably have sex.

The next day, Sean drives to the hardware store but none of the Latino guys are out there. He's confused and asks someone driving by where all the men are, and the guy's like, "It's Labor Day, you fucking idiot." So Sean drives home. He gets drunk and ends up inviting a guy over from Grindr. He quickly gets in the shower (shower scene!), and ends up falling in the shower while holding a glass and cuts himself a bit. Then the doorbell rings so he gets out. He answers the door clothed, but wet. The hot guy is like, "You're wet." "I just showered." Sean invites the guy in and asks if he wants a drink. "Not at this hour." (early) "No, no...just like...water?" Sean turns to pour a glass of water and hot guy strips naked in the kitchen. Sean turns and sees him and is like, "HOLY SHIT!" and drops his glass. He goes down to pick up the glass, and pops back up all bloody. His head is cut, his hands are cut up. The naked guy is just like.."Are you okay?? Are you drunk?" And is kind of legit concerned for him. Sean is like, "No! I'm fine!" Naked guy is like, "Um, I got naked because I assumed we were going to...?" Sean is like, "Listen, can we just talk?" Naked guy puts his clothes on and is like, "You need to get your shit figured out. Only you can make yourself happy." Then he leaves.

At some point...today? Tomorrow? Yesterday? I don't know, but at some point he goes back to the news station to be like, "Hey! I'm ready to go back to work!" His boss shows him the video of his breakdown that's on youtube. AWKWARD. And they're like, "It's been 4 days. Leave." So he does.

He calls his ex Carlos to say...something. But instead of getting his voicemail, he gets a message saying that the number has been disconnected. He freaks out and calls someone and asks the lady on the phone why the number was disconnected. "Why wouldn't we disconnect it? Carlos has been dead for 6 months." :O So now we learn that Carlos isn't an ex...he actually died 6 months prior. So this is why Sean is having such a hard time. There's then these flashback scenes from previous moments in the movie. We see Sean in the rowboat talking, but he's alone. We see him hiking and talking to no one. At first I was like, "Did Sean make Ernesto up??" But no, that's not it. I think this was just supposed to represent that Sean was using Ernesto as a stand-in for Carlos. He felt so much better those two days talking to "Carlos," but Carlos wasn't really there. He was still alone. Ernesto isn't his lover, isn't his friend. Just a guy he hired. [I think? Anyone else have other interpretations of this?]

The next day he goes to pick up Ernesto and he's not there. He tries asking the other men where Ernesto is, and they're basically making fun of Sean. "Hey, I'll go on a boat with you!" Word has got out that Sean is having Ernesto do all this weird shit. I think Ernesto's wife was talking. Sean seems to frantically need Ernesto. He drives to the town where Ernesto said he lived (population of like 60,000) and just starts asking people if they know Ernesto. Some kid steals his phone and whacks him over the head with his skateboard. Sean goes into a bar and gets wasted. He then sees a guy go into the bar that he recognized as Ernesto's brother-in-law from a pic Ernesto showed him. So he follows him to a house, and there's a Quinceanera going on. I guess Ernesto's daughter?? But I didn't remember him having daughter that age, so I could be wrong. idk. Anyway, Sean drunkenly crashes the party. They dump him in one of the kids' bedrooms where he passes out. He wakes up later and slinks out.

Time has passed during the next scene, and Sean is back at work, but makes an announcement that this is his last weather report. He's leaving. We don't know where or for what. But we had learned earlier while he was talking away with Ernesto that he doesn't even like being a weatherman and he actually hates the weather in California. So it seems he's moving on. He seems much healthier. He write Ernesto a letter apologizing for crashing the party, saying how ashamed he is and that he was going through a tough time.

Sean's at home and the doorbell rings. He goes to the door and it's Ernesto's son (like 8 years old??). Ernesto comes out of the truck with painting supplies. The kid acts as an interpreter. They go up to the deck and Ernesto starts working. Sean is like, "You don't need to do this! Why are you finishing the deck?" Ernesto is like, "Because you sent me $200 with the letter." Sean is like, "No, not to finish the deck! For room and board!" He sent him the money as an apology for crashing the party and for them letting him sleep it off in their house and for some food they left out for him. Anyway, they start sanding the deck together (Sean is a terrible sander). Ernesto is like, "You're not paying me!" They laugh. Movies fades to black.

#papi chulo #ask #you asked for as detailed as I could get! #so here you go!

[grumpygayming]

So obviously you should do those questions for matt and wren bc you wnt to so once you get time you should do it

You & I are on the same page lmao, I was gonna answer these whether asked or not tbh. SO thank you for sending this & giving me an excuse to post them 😂🤗Are they physically affectionate?  Matt: Very much so, he loves little contact like hand holding or brushing their arms together while they’re out. And when his boyfriend drives he always puts his hand on his thigh, just because.Wren: The clingiest lil shit alive. He’s always hugging his partner from behind while they’re doing stuff and he whines about not getting enough attention if they’re in his general vicinity & not hugging him or anything (if they’re not busy of course).

🎶Do they have a type? Matt: Tall, long hair, some visible facial hair, & brown skin... Clearly he dates outside of that but in his ideal world if their personality aligned with his... that is who he’d be with.Wren: Anyone he deems cute and able to cuddle him, that’s his type.

😡What are their deal breakers? Matt: Dislikes kids, has no ambition, can’t communicate properly. It’s why he dates so little, he’s found at least everyone has one of these qualities and he has to work with them on it or just walk away.Wren: Non commitment (refusing to label things or admit to feelings), not being upfront. He’s had enough of it and if there’s even the slightest hint at either of those things he’s out.

↕️Are they sub, dom or switch? Matt: Definitely a switch.Wren: The subbiest sub to ever sub.

⏰How long do their relationships tend to last? Matt: A year+, his shortest relationship was 3 mos and that only ended because of extenuating circumstances, otherwise they probably would have went for the long haul and gotten married.Wren: Not long at all, Wren is a fan of flings and living in the moment so short term relationships are his game while he’s young.

💍Would they ever get married? Matt: Yes, he wants that so badly not only for himself but for his son too. He wants his conventional family, with a picket fence, and a dog more than anything. It represents stability to him which he hasn’t had much of his entire adult life and he needs for his son to see what a stable, healthy family structure looks like.Wren: He can’t see it right now but he would love to get married before thirty if the opportunity arose. Otherwise he’s perfectly happy dating for the time being.

🏷️Do they give their partners cute nicknames? Matt: Yes!!! Silas has many, Matty’s favorites for him are Snugglebutt & Flapjack. In secret he calls him Dummy though, affectionately about 90% of the time.Wren: He’s pretty basic and sticks to babe/baby. He doesn’t stick around long enough for personalized nicknames most of the time.

💋Are they more sensual or sexual? Matt: More sensual, for sure. Wren: Sexual, completely.

📖What is their favorite outside of the bedroom activity to do with their partner?Matt: When the weather permits or they’re visiting his home town in Hawaii, walks on the beach. He’s also a fan of dates to coffee shops they haven’t been to before and ordering drinks specific to the shop.  Wren: He’s super simple and loves watching reality TV with his partners, especially if they’re into it too. And after each episode He likes to critique everyone over wine and takeout. 

  🛏What is their favorite bedroom activity to do with their partner? Matt: He really loves getting lingerie and showing it off, what follows after is fine and dandy but he really enjoys the process of getting dressed up and then seeing his boyfriend’s reaction.Wren: [Redacted bc Wren is gross]

💚Are they prone to jealousy? Matt: Not really, if he feels the emotion he’ll acknowledge it, try to figure out what the root of it is and move on. Wren: Yes, very much so. He’ll try to push it aside but he hates feeling like he’s coming in 2nd to his partner(s). [He will eventually grow out of this but he’s currently learning how to deal with it.]

😘Does their demeanor change when in a relationship? Matt:Outwardly he seems a lot grumpier... which isn’t entirely wrong. When he’s still getting used to a new partner it throws him a bit off of his usual balance and it irritates him. He also hates sharing personal details... like the fact that he is even dating someone so when the time comes to be public he seems irritated and angry for quite awhile. Wren: He is giddy as hell and everything is a ray of sunshine when he has a partner. He loves romantic love and wants everyone else to have it and love it too. This lasts for basically as long as he’s with his partner too.

 👫Do they display affection in public? What about in private? Matt: Hand holding but he gets flustered about anything more than that or maybe kisses on the cheek in public. Whereas in private he’ll gladly sit on his boyfriends lap and give him all the kisses he could want.Wren: He loves pda, so much. All of the kisses in public and hand holding, all of it, he wants everyone to know he’s taken and in love. In private.... he’s even more intense about this.

💕Are they open to threesomes or a polyamorous relationship? Matt: He’s not really open to causal threesomes, however, if the circumstances for a polyamorous relationship arose and he approved of the third party he would be willing to give it an honest shot.Wren: He loves the thought of threesomes and poly relationships. He’s not sure how he’d actually fare with multiple partners who were also involved with each other but the idea of having different types of love with different people and caring for them in his own way is so appealing to him.

💔Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with? Matt: 85% of the human population. He’s really particular and needs to get to know a person before even considering them as a potential partner. If he couldn’t befriend them, he wouldn’t date them. So, anyone who is guilt trippy, cannot be held accountable for their actions, dodges adult conversations, etc. could not be someone he would date. Wren: Not really, he’s fairly open, so long as they like animals and can deal with him yelling at the TV during movies they’ve got a chance.

💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship? Matt: This is bad but...... Never? He’ll always have this slight sense of uncertainty and be prepared to have to detach and leave. It’s a side effect of the relationship that he got his son out of. He may be comfortable with his partner but security isn’t something he’s been accustomed to and it’ll take a long time for that to be the case.Wren: He doesn’t stay long enough for security but comfort comes easy for him. So long as they don’t seem violent he can be comfortable int he span of a couple weeks.

🤐Would they ever confess their feelings first? Matt: He’s usually the one to do so. Once he’s sure he wants to act on them he’ll let the other person know how he feels and let them know exactly why.Wren: He will but he much prefers the other person making him feel wanted and confessing their feelings first.

❌Would they ever cheat on their partner?Matt: Never, ever, ever. He would sooner break things off than cheat and ruin their sense of trust in any relationships after theirs.Wren: He would say no but if he were stuck in what felt like a loveless relationship he would be the first to step outside of it for some from of happiness/a simulation of true love & affection. 

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Do they want children? Matt: He’s already got a son but he wants more later on. Kids are a rough topic for him at the moment since he miscarried in September and he’s still recovering from it. Wren: He needs at least one daughter so that he can honor Maxine Shaw and name his child after her. So, yes, he wants kids.

🐶Are they a cuddler?Matt: Very much so, not necessarily for the sake of cuddling but because he’s cold all the time, he leeches body heat off of his partner.Wren: Yes! He loves the contact and being held brings him such comfort.

🔮Do they believe in soul mates? Matt: Not necessarily. He thinks people can be compatible for each other and work well together but the concept of one singular soul mate or “the one” is absolutely ridiculous to him.Wren: Yes, however, he believes you can have multiple soul mates depending on the time and space you’re in. Your soul mate may change, hence why he’s not in any rush to settle down.

⚔️ Are they protective of their partner? Matt: Super protective. He’s ready to fight over anyone disrespecting his boyfriend or hurting his feelings. He’s not afraid to actually stand up for him and get involved either. (Though, online stuff is different. If on the twittersphere someone is being a dick his go to response is: “Baby, they aren’t important. Ignore them.”)Wren: Extremely. If someone even looks at his partner wrong he’s ready to take his earrings off and beat their ass.

🚀 How far are they willing to go for the person they love? Matt: All they way to Canada. Any further and they can fuck right off. Jokes aside, so long as it won’t negatively impact his son or his own mental health he will move mountains for his partner.Wren: It truly depends on how long they’ve been together and how committed they are.

❤️ Do they fall in love easily? Matt: Not even close, he’s so guarded that he’ll even second guess his feelings when they start getting more intense.Wren: Yes, too easily for his own good.

📺 Do they share information about their relationships freely with friends and family? Matt: Not even. His parents and childhood best friend get details & information but with newer friends (even of years) he will give them the bare minimum. Even then it’s a stretch, he waited a whole month to even tell his friends his ex-boyfriend’s name.Wren: Yep, as said before... he loves love. He feels like sharing all the cute little details of his relationships may inspire his friends/family to get out there themselves. 

♦️Are they concerned with the social status of their partner? Matt: Nope, so long as they are doing things with their life and self improving he doesn’t care about their social status at all. Wren: Ashamedly so, if they don’t have some kind of impressive title or a reputation in their field chances are he’s not going to get very far into a relationship with them. Though, they could become a regular on his hook-up list.

💭 Do they tend to sleep better when in bed with their partner?Matt: No, he’s gotten so used to sleeping alone that now sharing a bed with his boyfriend is a major adjustment. He does enjoy cuddling but he finds it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep now.Wren: Yep, he loves the contact and having someone else there makes it much easier for him to relax and fall asleep.

#I'll add pictures later maybe. #char stuff #A read more too. it's 3am so.... this is how its stayin rn #simshodo

[panda-noosh]

Since you like angst i can be your angst/smut fairy! I was wondering if I could get the paladins(+Matt) react to their s/o having a heart problem (like, they went in for 4 open heart surgeries) suddenly collapsing and dying bc their heart is collapsing because of their valve collapsing in on them, and their in space and the s/o can't get another surgery? Sorry if this isn't descriptive, so, if you need me too i'll send a PM with the details~

Here you go! x

Shiro:

He was with you every step of the way through the four openheart surgeries.

He wouldn’t let you go into the surgery room on your own,wouldn’t let you do anything on your own. He stayed on earth for a few monthsafter each one just so he could look after you and make sure you were gettingthe right care that you needed.

Each time, he had been a complete nervous wreck, because heknew of the risks. He knew it could have ended badly.

But after your fourth successful open heart surgery, Shirowas told that you would be fine and that the risk of your heart giving out nowwas very slim.

So he had hope.

Hope that was shattered on the morning he woke up to thesound of you collapsing on your way to the bathroom.

He had taken you back to space thinking you would be fine,that there would be absolutely zero risk of this happening, and yet you were,in his arms, losing consciousness as you struggled to even breathe through thepain that was crashing through you.

Whenever Shiro gets the news that the surgery hadn’t workedto the extent the doctor described, that you hadn’t made it, his entire worldsplits in half.

He can barely hold himself upright. He ends up collapsingright then and there, in front of the Paladins, in front of the people he wassupposed to look strong for.

But he doesn’t care.

Keith:

He didn’t want you to go back to space with him in the firstplace.

He’s always been a little anxious about that – you two aremost definitely childhood sweethearts, so he’s been with you through everysingle surgery and he’s seen every single heart issue you’ve gone through.

He knows how strong you are and how well you fight througheach and every obstacle, but even though he had been assured that you wereokay, he doesn’t want to take the risk of taking you away from aneasily-accessible hospital.

You assure him you’re fine, and he really has no otherargument.

So whenever your heart gives out and there’s no hospital forhim to take you to, it’s safe to say that, after the wave of absolute despairceases, it’s replaced with this life-changing guilt that he can’t shake off.

After he’s completely lost himself in his own mind,destroyed his bedroom, broken things and told each and every Paladin to fuckoff, he just kind of curls up and basks in this wave of self-hatred because hetruly believes it’s his fault for letting you come with him this time.

Lance:

He was very excited to have you coming into space with him.

It had been his dream for the longest time to have you joinhim on at least one of his missions, have you meeting Allura and Coran and theother Paladins, but you were never in well-enough health to be able to do that.

And he understood that at the time, and it wasn’t that bigof a deal to him. He liked having an excuse to go to earth to see you and hisfamily anyway.

But finally, you were in space with him, and you seemperfectly fine.

Until you collapse.

Lance catches you before you even touch the floor, and heknows immediately what is going on. He starts screaming at the top of hislungs, begging Coran to help, to do something, and they try everything.

They put you in a healing pod, and Coran tries to do amedical examination on your slowly-dying body, but there’s no use.

Lance barely believes it whenever Coran walks out of theinfirmary and shakes his head.

He’s in complete denial for a little while. He walks intothe room and just sits by your body, not letting anybody move you or touch youor see you.

Only him. Only he’s allowedto see you.

Hunk:

Hunk would be an anxious mess whenever you first went intospace with him.

He had told everyone to take the best precautions possible,to make sure to not bump into you or get you overly worked up.

And you have to remind him that you have had four,successful open heart surgeries and your doctor has assured you countless timesthat you are, indeed, fine, but Hunk doesn’t want to hear it.

He leads you onto the ship with very slow steps, guiding youwith his arm and pushing everybody else out of the way as if you’re an elderlyperson with a walking stick.

He truly believes he had everything set in place for yourstay.

He seemed to have forgotten the lack of hospitals that spacehas.

So whenever you’re collapsing, he doesn’t know what to do,and it’s a moment of true, hot red panic that courses through him.

He helps Coran set you up in the infirmary, sits in thecorner.

He watches you die.

He doesn’t cry at first. I don’t really think he feelsanything at first – nothing but disbelief. It’s like it hasn’t even settled inyet.

Not until Coran is trying to take your body out so you canbe properly mourned, and Hunk is grabbing for your cold and lifeless hand andbegging them to just let him be with you for another few minutes.

It’s safe to say he never truly forgives himself for lettingyou enter space with him.

Pidge:

She was pretty confident in the idea of you being able tocome onto the ship with her.

You all know shetook the most thorough precautions. She basically annihilated every single riskthat the ship held.

And she was so excitedfor your arrival, too. She was giddy for once, jumping around the ship andtelling everyone about how excited she was that you were finally coming to seeher, that she hasn’t seen you in ages.

And everybodies like, “Is this the person you’re on Skypewith every night, talking about open heart surgeries?”

Pidge just gives them the proudest grin in the world,because she’s deadass so proud of the fact that you’re finally showing off howhealthy you are and how far you’ve come with your heart problems.

Everybody treats you like god damn royalty as soon as youshow your face, but it’s also expected that they’re a little careful aroundyou, as anybody would be.

But this isn’t that big of an issue, because you still feelwelcomed and everybodies nice so meh.

But then you feel something going wrong. You feel the pain,and your breathing becomes laboured and you can no longer stand up withoutfeeling like your legs are made of rubber.

Pidge notices it, tries to grab for you, but you’reunconscious in seconds, falling to the floor and Pidge screams.

She’s grabbing you and opening up your shirt before anybodyhas even entered the room to help her, and she’s sobbing as she does so,begging you to be okay, saying to nobody and everybody that she doesn’tunderstand how this happened, how it’s possible.

And you die in her arms.

It happens so quickly that she can barely process it.

She’s trying to make up an excuse, trying to tell everybodythat you’re fine and that you’re just playing one of your usual “practicaljokes!” on her.

Matt has to drag her away from your body so they can see toyou without her shoving their hands away.

“What are you doing? Don’t touch her! Don’t touch her!”

Matt:

Another very anxious boy.

He doesn’t want you in space. He really doesn’t want you being away from a hospital.

But at the same time, he also wants you to join him just forthe experience, but again, he’s much more concerned about your safety and yourhealth than his own needs.

So it takes months foryou to persuade him to let you join him. Months,and even after he’s oh-so-hesitantly agreed, he’s still very clearly unsureabout the idea.

I think it’s Pidge that would finally tell him to loosen upand let you live a little.

So he agrees, and in no time, you’re joining him on theship.

For the first few days, all is well. You and Pidge arecatching up after so long of being away from each other, and the other Paladinslove you.

They all ask about the open heart surgeries, finding theminteresting. You don’t hesitate to tell them about them, feeling proud ofyourself for getting through them and now being able to share your story.

Matt really begins to loosen up, reassured that you knowyour way around and you know your own limits. He doesn’t have to worry, doeshe?

Not until about a month into your stay – it’s so unexpected.

He hears you sobbing from upstairs first. It’s breakfast,and he had left you to sleep in for the time being since you two had gotten alate night the night before. 

Whilst he’s sitting preparing breakfast for himself and theother Paladins, the sound of your gut wrenching sob and yell sounds through thekitchen. He drops everything almost immediately and sprints upstairs.

You’re already on the floor, unconscious, by the time heopens the bedroom door.

Everybody else is working, trying to find some way to makeyou better with the limited resources they have. Matt is yelling at them fromthe door, panicked, being completely useless but he doesn’t know what else todo.

“She needs her doctor. Her doctor knows what to do!”

That’s all he can say. Doctor.Doctor. Doctor.

A human doctor, on earth. Which you currently don’t have accessto.

Whenever the news arrives that you didn’t make it, Mattcan’t even cry. He slumps against the wall for hours, just staring intonothingness, thinking up every scenario, trying to excuse it, trying to findevery reason he can to blame himself.

#voltron headcanon #request

[currentlylurking]

anxiety hasn’t kicked my ass about this yet so rambling about how a d&d campaign where you play as the ancients vs pariah could work

or a fate campaign. fate might work better.

Or pathfinder. I have all the pathfinder books- but I also have most of the D&D 5e books- and they have an official gunslinger class. I’ve just never done anything with pathfinder so I have like. half a clue how it works.

sticking with d&d for the moment bc most of my knowledge about fate comes from the good old mcelroys and they’re. not the best example.

rambling stream of consciousness ahead, if it. if it wasn’t super obvious.

okay so: I have the dp ghost race habato and I made a while ago, but it’s a bit... unbalanced. and I need to fix that. I think the idea I have for the dp ghosts would work better as a class, but that provides one of the same problems that I have with it as a race; there’s not enough diversity

a party of an elf ranger, dwarf cleric, tabaxi rogue, and dragonborn fighter is so much better than one of a phantom ranger/cleric/rogue/fighter or an elf + dwarf + tabaxi + dragonborn phantom set. everyone could multiclass, I guess, but having to decide whether to level up your ghost powers or your other skills is pretty :/ and why I went with it as a race originally.

also what does it have to offer as a class besides ghost powers?? those aren’t special. they’re kinda special. not special enough to be their own class.

maybe it could be an additional thing? like you’re a ranger but you’re ALSO a phantom!! it doesn’t give you any specific bonuses other than ghost powers and flight but it could be set up like a class still. you’d just level it up as you level up, instead of having to choose between that and your other skill set

main problem there is what I’m thinking of isn’t actually a thing and holy shit do I suck at explanations. if I homebrew an entirely new element on my own I’ll confuse the shit out of everyone

another option: it’s a feat. but then you don’t get to get stronger as you level up, which is. upsetting. that’s the fun part.

you could gain skills at certain points as you grow as a ghost? like ‘ah yes, you’re in danger, now you can fly!’ or maybe when you act on your obsession a certain number of times you go stronger--

that one’s actually really good I might use it

but the ghosts in general. or phantoms as the race is called. what kind of powers should they have? thinking flight, and either what I have in the races where they get a power based on their core (inspired by the dragonborn’s breath weapon) or they could get a certain selection of spells they can cast a couple times a day? and the types of spells change depending on their core?

maybe it’s a choice. you can have the best of both worlds you just have to pick one when you level up- oh!! that’s what you can choose with the class option, instead of leveling up your stats you can level up a ghost power!!

races can be what kind of ghost you are, appearance-wise. like, ghostwriter’s an elf (drow? drow seem like they don’t go outside and so does he). Pariah’s either a goliath or a duergar (they can cast enlarge on themselves!!), danny’s a half elf. poor boy doesn’t even get to be human he’s still a halfa.

this also means that if you’re playing as a tabaxi you died and turned into a cat which is fucking hilarious. if you’re a kenku you’re a literal shitty bird person. you died and became a bird that can’t even speak normally. it’s great.

if you’re a gnome or halfling you died and shrunk.or you really liked the hobbit.

ideally you would like. have a race that reflects your death somehow. but I don’t super know what the plotline will be yet so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ maybe not that

I also think death wounds/stuff relating to that would be cool. like if someone rolls a natural 20 against you they hit the scars of the wound that killed you and it fucks you up. stuff related to your death also fucks you up. lots of stuff can fuck you up. blood blossoms can kick your ass.

we could also use this fantasy disabilities chart bc messing your character up is fun

obsessions are a thing too. Like, say your obsession is your family, and you learn that your brother’s a ghost- you’ve got to drop everything to go check in with your brother!! maybe wisdom save to do stuff that doesn’t get you closer to your target (once activated? by... some shit? it can’t always be on), and advantage on rolls directly involving it? idk. that might be too weird.

if something happens that shatters your obsession you either die or get royally fucked up. 

I like making things overtly complicated I guess meanwhile in my main campaign I keep forgetting how the barbarian’s rage works and fUCKING IT UP

idk how clerics would work, either. probably worship vague concepts? either that or there’s a cleric of clockwork and I bet he’d fucking love that.

maybe vecna’s a ghost someone can worship... I love me some vecna

also warlocks. same boat. someone could be a warlock of the observants and get true seeing at some point far too early on. that’d be a mess. I love it. I’d have to homebrew it.

hooooooly shit someone can be a warlock of PARIAH. or pariah’s a warlock of something? vecna? probably not vecna.

OH HOLY SHIT!! a warlock of Clockwork would be a normal-ass ghost with time powers. hot damn Timekeepers can be used here. I’d have to homebrew that too.

shit.

anyone wanting to play ranger would probably have to use the unearthed arcana version of them bc the official version is like. bad early on.

a druid would be a literal shapeshifter, or vortex maybe. that’d be neat. a bard would be Ember. Ghostwriter’s enough of a nerd to be a wizard. 

the fentons are gunslingers and using Matt Mercer’s stats for that bc I really love how it works in critical role. everything about it is good.

I don’t know gunslingers would work with this point in time but also like. yknow. I like them. maybe it’s a time travel thing.

probably shouldn’t do a time travel thing.

probably shouldn’t also do the ‘random gun, one bullet, does massive amount of damage bc let’s be real. it’s a gun.’

there are a lot of possible plot hooks to start off, with two main options for what the ‘end goal’ can be- join the ancients or become the ancients.

or defect and join Pariah. follow ur dreams.

but like, from the start to get the party together

you could die.

you could wake up dead all together and not know what tf is happening. who is this tall asshole. why does he have skeletons.

yall could be in a village, which is a thing, for plot reasons, when suddenly pariah attacks

one of the ancients gives a really moving speech and the party all decides to join up

best of the last two or something

pariah stole some of everyone’s shit. how dare he. everyone decides to kick his ass.

everyone actually works for pariah and defects via the... the power of friendship? yeah that seems right

everyone is forced to work for pariah and is saved by the power of friendship (x2)

you’re in a tavern. there’s a revolution brewing. this is normal dnd shit literally every game I’ve played in but one has started in a tavern please save me they’re everywhere.

this rag-tag group of fucks gets pulled into a general plot hook. guarding a caravan or some shit. tavern 2.0. summoned by the king- that one might work actually.

there’s probably more but it’s almost midnight

there’s also an option for this that I haven’t touched on but like. I could... not use dp ghosts. could just use pariah and the ancients and go from there, or Pariah could’ve forced everyone into these powerless roles... but I’m Not About That Life tbh. I want as much fun nerd shit at once as I can have.

I’m gonna figure out the ghost powers instead of sleeping at a normal time or wrapping presents like I should. this is what I do after finals yall. I made 4 batches of cookies earlier and they’re all amazing.

I think that’s most of what I wanted to say. if not there’ll be more of these rambles. unless anxiety beats my ass there probably will be lmao.

I’ll let yall know when I figure shit out but if you’re interested in being a part of this then like. tell me. it’ll be fun. 

#dp dnd #the fact that I already had a tag for this says a lot about me lmao #currently talking #not putting it in the Danny Phantom tag this time but I'll probably reblog it again in the morning #bc I seem to be posting a lot of stuff at ass o'clock at night