#i regret and don’t regret taking summer classes tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

psychelis-new · 1 year

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pick a pile: "Spring sprang sprung"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about your upcoming spring time and what may bring you/what may happen for you.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

Spring may bring you a few opportunities. And I think they may be of different type and in different fields. I think you'll need to prepare for them cause you may get a few actually... Tbh, it could also be that you're only in need to prepare yourself in spring and by its end or summer, you'll actually be able to see/manifest these opportunities. I suddenly had to crack my neck as if I was preparing for exercising or a run. So yeah, it could also be about competition... maybe you'll be competing for something soon, even a job place somewhere important (or the agency of your dreams, for example). Just... there's something that blocks you. I don't feel the excitement I would feel. I think you may be trying to not be too hyped "just in case it won't go as well" or.. you may even renounce to join the competition cause you feel not good enough to win. On one side I totally get you (I mean, the not-getting-too-hyped-part, despite it is not entirely right either), but on the other... the message here is clear: do not let your fears block you. Take part in this competition, try: the worst that can happen is that you may not get the place but you'll gain experience, you won't have regrets and you'll gain strenght. I do think it may go better than you can imagine. Fly high, not low (as I keep hearing).

song: she's so high | tal bachman

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pile 2

Your spring is all about delicacy and love. My heart chakra is fluttering. I think you will either focus on your self love more or you may meet either a friend or somoene that may become something more than a friend. You may have tendencies to self sabotage, feeling lonely and on some tougher days you may find it hard to deal with these emotions... like you cannot see a way out, or how you can actually find your people and stop this pain. Worrying is normal, especially if all your life has gone always the same way, but it won't take you anywhere different. Make a choice of stopping this overthinking, stop bringing yourself down for any reason: see that you are worthy, and start being more hopeful and more aware of who you really are. Go out, start some new hobby, go for a run, start new classes... you name it. Just focus on whatever makes you feel happier and passionate, and don't worry about what others may think. They aren't you. You like dancing? Go dancing. You like baking? Go baking. It's up to you. The moment you leave this "lacking" mentality and feeling you always end up putting yourself in, your people will show up magically. Just believe you deserve them (and be sure they deserve you).

song: love songs - bonus | kaash paige

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pile 3

You may find it hard to focus on all the things you'd like to. I do feel you need to choose something, and postpone the rest (if not stop it). The question is: where you wanna go? What you really want to do now? You may tend to overwork and stress yourself sometimes, just because you feel good and you cannot really stop. You may really like what you do but... on the long run, you won't be able to keep up with the pace. You need to meditate and decide what it is that you want the most, what makes you happy. Leave others outside for a moment and decide for yourself. There's a new beginning in store for you, with loads of things happening, but in order for it to start and to actually work as you'd like to, you need to make a change (in particular inside of you). Be in control, be detemined, and keep trusting even if you cannot see the whole picture yet. It's all good, it all is gonna be more clear and happen fast to you, like one thing after the other, the moment you make your choice. (sadly the message isn't too clear cause indeed things cannot be too clear for you now: you need to sort things out first inside of you. Without knowing what's next, but deciding based on your guts). I suddenly feel hyped and my heart chakra kinda moved so I think it may also relate to love or relationships for a few but not necessarily: it may just be a lot of good things happening and making you happy. Many things happening one after the otehr and it'll feel confusing, so be ready.

song: it won't stop | sevyn streeter, chris brown

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pile 4

Your spring will be about closing some chapter, saying goodbye to something, and maybe working on something as well (mostly related about your personal life, so shadow work of sort; but ofc it could also be planning something career/school related for some of you). It will take you lot of effort, especially closing chapters (be it with generally your past or someone specific), but it's gonna be worth it. After this, you'll feel more balanced and in control and you'll be able to focus better on your dreams and goals (and this is also where "planning" comes out again. Plan about what you want to have, where/who you want to be and how. It's up to you). I see clarity after a quite heavy/difficult moment in which you may have felt kinda stuck or confused about something (may be a specific situation too). You will also be more into your own power, more appreciative of yourself, of your efforts and the person you are inside/out. All in all, despite a slightly tougher start with the goodbyes and all, this spring will end on a very positive note. I think for some may also sign the start of something new especially in career but also in your personal life (self confidence, change of style...), or receiving a good news about something or meeting someone new as well.

song: release | ken elkinson

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hobidreams · 2 years

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damn babes, life is really putting us through the wringer huh😭 post-covid effects are truly wild right?? i remember for my mom, the effects were similar to yours, but for me it made me more sensitive to tastes?? if it’s any consolation, it went away completely for me n my mom after a couple weeks!!

about summer plans though, i’m def not taking summer classes this time around💀 it sorta sunk in that i haven’t gotten a proper vacation ever since i started uni in 2020, so i really wanted to just take a break. had a conversation about it w my mom n she supported my decision to take a break this summer and i honestly don’t regret a thing🥳 anyways i’m just gonna take it easy!! planning to finish crocheting my tote bag (oh did you ever get the pic i sent of the lil hat i made for my cat or did tumblr eat it😵‍💫😵‍💫), and reading a lot of books!!! i read “the girl who fell beneath the sea” last week and i absolutely LOVED IT!! i blame you for starting my obsession with historical fiction/fantasy💀 it’s based off of a korean folktale with a couple of twists, and i think you’d really like it!! i also got the book that joon and yoongi read on in the soop s1 (almond!!), and it’s been an interesting read so far. i’ll update you hihihi. also finally started watching the red sleeves?? i already know the ending but it’s actually so fun to watch even though i know it’s going to hurt like a mf💀

ok that’s all,, sorry this ended up being way longer than i thought it would be💀 but anyways how are you babes!! any fun updates (wedding updates👀)??? what are your plans for the summer?

the spacing is still whack i genuinely don’t know how to fix it lmao

-🌿

my answer got long soooo cut!

omg more sensitive?? cant even imagine what thats like. im glad thats gone for u now!! yeah i think im mostly recovered from the taste thing now.... but also like... glad i didnt get the thing that some ppl had where everything tasted like gasoline. but my random dry coughing came back two weeks ago and its only just starting to fade again 😬😬😬 im worried and have to see a doctor abt it 😭

HELL YEAHH im so glad you got to take the summer off!! fr, so many people are rushing to do their degrees in 4 years and 🤷🏻‍♀️ most ppl i knew did it in 5 and it wasnt a big deal at all. take ur time and do what makes u happy 💗 honestly, relaxing in the summer prepares me better for the winter term so it works for the best! the tote bag sounds amazing! pls show me it!!! and no i never got the pic of ur cat hat 😤😤😤 fuck u tumblr

omg ive heard of that book before! tbh i dont read a lot of fantasy bc i prefer straight historical but i will have to check it out. my backlog of to-reads only keeps growing. oops. i hope u enjoyed the books!!

ahhh never apologize pls. i love and appreciate ur long messages!!! my plans are in effect rn haha im away at a cabin sort of place, that has VERY bad wifi so im doin my best here. but its meant to be very relaxing and lowkey so im gonna do my best to recover. ive also been getting these headaches on and off since covid, but i think theyre getting worse and idk skckwkfnkemfm. i just have to fix this before school starts.

no wedding updates for now bc unfortunately our venue isnt booking yet for 2025 and thats when we have to have it (bc of my school + timing of other big, unmoveable family events). but we've picked a place + contacted the wedding party and everything is a go for that!! oh my god its so expensive. we've made a modest budget but im afraid ppl will judge us if its not super luxurious 💀 i also have a friend (more like "friend" tbh... its a long story) who put some doubts in my mind about our small budget akdmekfm so idk we're still sorting it out. doing our best to fit in everything we want while still saving for our first home 💀💀💀 but im very excited and looking forward to it!!

#the spacing is fine for me btw!!#at least on laptop #rain reply #🌿 anon #❤️❤️❤️#stay well love

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dorefasolsido · 2 months

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40.

Do you ever wonder how Atheist people raise their kids?

I mean, just normal? I was raised by an atheist and an agnostic, I guess the only difference is that they never really taught me about religion whatsoever, so when I was asked in school which faith I identify with, I had no idea what to say. But they never told me I can't read the Bible if I wanted to (only read part of the kids' one tho), and we still celebrated Christmas and Easter like everyone else. Tbh, hearing about some people's experiences with growing up in religious households, I'm glad mine wasn't like that.

If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not?

I'm more of an agnostic, but if I ever had kids (which I don't want to), I'd raise them like my parents raised me. They can explore on their own, I can answer some questions, and that's it. I won't push anything onto them, especially not something I don't really believe in either.

How long does it usually take you to finish answering a survey?

Depends, I'm done with some in ten minutes, others in half an hour or more.

Do you spell it gray or grey?

Usually grey, but depends if I'm using American or British spelling.

If you make surveys, how do you decide about its title?

I don't.

When are you going back to school?

I'm done with school.

If you don’t go to school anymore, what do you do?

I work, attend German classes, deal with the crushing reality of everyday existence. As everyone else.

Do you care about other people’s status messages?

Hmmm where? I can only check those now on WhatsApp, and yes, I do that. I'm too nosey not to.

Do you like reading self help books?

Nah, it's just not for me.

What is your opinion on sex change?

Those who want it should go for it, I'm glad such options exist for trans people.

Do you think that this will take away the essence of gay pride?

I have no clue what this means, tbh, but the answer is probably no.

What do you do when you tell a really bad joke?

I laugh at myself and give myself a highfive while others all sigh and groan.

If you’re still a virgin, how important is your virginity to you?

It's not important and I think the whole concept and discussion around it is stupid. Like, I'd just get rid of that whole idea entirely. It seriously fucked with my head when a gynecologist reacted like I'm some mythical creature just because I'm over 20 and have never had sex with a man. I'm still dealing with that shame sometimes, and I'm not even attracted to men like that.

If you have lost it already, do you regret it?

As I said, it doesn't mean anything to me, so no, I wouldn't regret it. But tbh, I can't see myself in that situation, being ace and all.

Do you believe in marriage? Why or why not?

Well I mean sure, but I don't personally see that much of a point. I guess there are financial benefits and so on, but ehhh, I don't know.

Do you like having a huge group of friends or would you rather have few close friends?

A few close friends.

Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they?

Summer is far away, but I'd like to travel somewhere, I guess.

Or do you plan on getting a summer job? Or do you already have one?

I have a job--not just a summer one.

If so, where do you work and what do you do?

Content writing and translating.

Do you watch the TV Show Skins? If so, who’s your favorite character?

I don't.

And which generation do you prefer? Or do you equally love both?

Refer to the above.

Do you know someone who still typpe thiszz wayy?

Has anyone ever typed that way?

Would you take a break after graduating from high school (like, postpone going to college for a year or so)?

Well I didn't--it's not exactly a common thing to do here, but I think it's not bad. Like, if you can afford it, why not travel a bit before college?

Do you feel tired after stretching?

Not normally.

Can you get a strike at bowling?

I did a few times. Beginner's luck!

Do you use Facebook? If so, what is your favorite application there?

I don't use it anymore.

It seems like everyone’s addicted to Twitter these days - are you?

Nope. I'm barely ever on there.

#personal #surveys

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mirrorsmp3 · 2 years

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I'm having a crisis bc I actually hate my major (speech path) and I'm considering math because I've always enjoyed it and been pretty good at it but I've never taken a calculus class before or anything so I'm like what if I switch to this major and then I actually suck at it and regret it

me rn except it’s my only place to go bc the idea of doing anything else is unbearable but i was speaking to a girl who’s in third year and just switched from philosophy to math and is in the same intro / 2nd year course as me! calc 1-3 are some of the requirements for my major or least calc 3 is a requirement and calc 1 and 2 were prereqs. calculus is kind of diff anyway it’s less rigorous more computational than what else i’m taking rn aka algebra 1 and analysis 1. so even if u haven’t taken calc or don’t thrive in calc u could thrive in math. not that i’m an expert or anything but i’m gonna say that as a mediocre student who doesn’t pore over math textbooks in the summer or read ahead or whatever And Also enjoys math but doesn’t think it’s the most fun thing in the world, as long as ur fairly logically inclined and remember being able to follow derivations of formulas and stuff from ur earlier math classes (since lectures are literally just following along proofs of theorems etc.) u should give it a shot !!!

i’ve also said this to a few ppl but one of the things i like about math is how self contained it is like sure it’s useful in calc to be able to recognize how derivatives of functions relate to motion in physics but it’s not necessary as opposed to physics and chem and bio where you have to observe things in nature and also compute the results SO what i’m trying to say is that in my personal opinion math is of the sciences maybe not necessarily the EASIEST to transfer to i dont think any of them are tbh but aside from knowing how certain functions work (from calc) and maybe vectors from linear algebra there’s the least to know going in

#me giving advice on this as if I’m not in my flop student era well ok #WHY do I have to do 12 pages of algebra hw every week that’s the real question #if any other math people have thoughts on this please add!#ask

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softxsuki · 2 years

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Have you ever been compared to someone before? If it was intentional or unintentional?

It honestly hurts because as a shy/introverted person, I've been told that I should be more social and adventurous or outgoing with people. I should go outside more because I'm always inside because I like my peace and quiet.

I'm not proud of it and I want to go beyond my comfort zone but it's difficult even if it's one step at a time.

Now, it feels nice to let that out but sorry for that rant. </3

So have you?

I’m sorry you had to be told that :( there’s nothing wrong with being shy or introverted. Some of us like to keep to ourselves, no everyone wi enjoy social situations with tons of people. If we did, we’d all be the same and that’s not fun! I’m the same way! I love being indoors and when I do go out it’s usually with 1-2 friends and we go somewhere in nature where it’s quiet like a park or a bookstore! The only loud, crowded places I like are concerts and amusement parks! Other than that I prefer being at home on my own too. So don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or pressured to change that. There is NOTHING wrong with being that way.

If you do want to step out of your comfort zone, then you can push yourself a little. I hated going to doctors appointments and other things on my own before. I’d have panic attacks because my mom would pressure me saying I’m an adult and I can go myself. Or even making phone calls “you’re already 23, hurry up and speak for yourself” I found it SO difficult but I think having my job helped a little. I went to my eye appointment on my own, I went to my job interview on my own, taking the initiative to sign up for things on my own too! Like I signed up to vote bymself and even applied for a library card in my town (I moved here like 2 years ago and never had the chance to get one). And at work I’m constantly answering the phone (I still get nervous when I have to call a customer, but it gets better the more I do it)

So yeah, it won’t be easy to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but it definitely does work with practice. But take things at your own pace. You’re doing perfectly well as you are!

And hmm yes I have been compared to people before. This probably won’t come as a shocker, but it was my mom who compared me to everyone. I had this cousin in Puerto Rico who I always internally compared myself to. She was gorgeous! Perfect body, nice skin, beautiful hair, amazing personality, awesome fashion sense. I wanted to be her when I was younger. I think that’s where my bad body image started tbh and my mom didn’t really help that. My cousin was very smart, listened to classical music, was very organized, and studied very hard for her courses. My mom compared everything she did to me bc I wasn’t ‘good enough’.

“All you do is watch TV, why don’t you listen to music like your cousin” — said to me when I was 8 years old

“Oh your cousin gives me the best massages. If she were my daughter I’d be so grateful” —said to me at 10 years old bc I didn’t want to massage her feet…

“Why don’t you study more like your cousin. She’s organized with your notes, and look at you! You don’t even study!”—said to me throughout high school.

But then my cousin ran off at 19, for pregnant, disrespected her own mother, and married an abusing man SO, o guess she regrets comparing me to her now.

Aside from that thought she’s compared me through high school and college bc I didn’t have a job. Saying all these kids go to school and work! But I knew k wouldn’t be able to handle working PLUS doing classes and completing assignments. Especially not in college. In high school though she forced me into this summer bridge program for a summer job. It gave me the worst anxiety and it was a stressful experience. But thankfully it was only for a summer.

She compares me to herself. Saying my job now is nothing and how I should put myself in her shoes. YEAH. so I definitely understand! And no one deserves to be compared to anyone. We’re all unique and shouldn’t have to meet anyone standards of what we should be. Sorry I ended up venting too HDJDJDJ.

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harrystylescherry · 2 years

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when do you go back to classes? and what kind of classes are you taking this semester?

i feel weird that i’m not going back to any classes this year and that i have to wait another year for grad school. i don’t know what to do with myself tbh

Two weeks!! Im taking another writing workshop and then a romance lit class :) i had classes this summer and i am deeply regretting doing that lol

Its going to feel so wrong when im like fully done

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dourpeep · 3 years

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OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

#anon asks #no primogems anon #kazuha x xiao x reader #xiao and his two lovely dumb s/o's #college au #polycule #polyamory #meet cute #xiao #kazuha #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact drabbles #genshin impact fics #genshin impact

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heirofmisfortune · 3 years

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is there a list of all the collaborations fall out boy has done because if not i think the world deserves that

i'm not sure about a list that already exists but i will make one here!! sounds fun ! so here is

Probably Close To Every Fall Out Boy Collaboration and Feature (So Far)

on tttyg

Chicago Is So Two Years Ago features backing vocals from Justin Pierre of Motion City Soundtrack

Grenade Jumper features background vocals from Jeff Warren of Knockout

Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over features De'Mar Hamilton of Plain White T's (the little yell and laugh at the end lol)

on futct

7 Minutes In Heaven features Brendon Urie obviously of Panic! at the Disco on backing vocals

Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year features William Beckett of The Academy Is... on backing vocals

on ioh

Thriller features Jay-Z in the beginning and end of the song

"The Take Over The Break's Over" features a guitar solo from Ryan Ross obviously of Panic! at the Disco and another from Chad Gilbert of New Found Glory

on folie

okay What a Catch, Donnie- in order this song features Elvis Costello, Gabe Saporta of Cobra Starship, Travie McCoy of Gym Class Heroes, Brendon Urie, Doug Neumann (general manager for Crush Management), Alexander DeLeon of The Cab, and William Beckett

Tiffany Blews features the bridge from Lil Wayne and additional vocals from Alexander DeLeon

20 Dollar Nose Bleed features Brendon Urie

West Coast Smoker features Debbie Harry of Blondie

Beat It (Micheal Jackson Cover) features a guitar solo from J*hn M*yer

on srar

Just One Yesterday features Foxes

The Mighty Fall features vocals and a writing credit from Big Sean

Rat a Tat features Courtney Love of Hole as a vocalist and writer

Save Rock and Roll features vocals from Elton John

on ab/ap

there is a version of Irresistible that features Demi Lovato but that was not released on the standard version of the album

American Beauty/American Psycho features writting from Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe and french musician Sebastian

on mania

Church features artists Kate York and Audra Mae as writers

Champion features Sia and her long time collaborator Jesse Shatkin as writers

Sunshine Riptide features Burna Boy as a writer and vocalist

(also note Dear Future Self (Hands Up) which features Wyclef Jean on believers never die vol. 2)

i didn't include remixes but a few notable and iconic ones are:

This Ain't a Scene... with Kanye West

My Songs... with 2 Chainz and Modo

the entirety on Make America Psycho Again tbh

Champion with RM of BTS

other collaborations- but not under the fob discography (in no particular order):

Cupid's Chokehold/Breakfast in America and Clothes Off!- Gym Class Heroes

King Of Wishful Thinking- New Found Glory

Everything Is Alright- Motion City Soundtrack

The Last Hero- XV

One Of THOSE Nights- The Cab

Jock Powerviolence- Weekend Nachos (this one has Patrick heavy metal screaming its so great pls pls pls listen to it)

86 Missed Calls- Man With a Mission

Summer Days- Marvin Garrix

Back To Earth- Steve Aoki

I've Been Waiting- Lil Peep and ILoveMakonnen

One and Only- Timberland (if u are into reading pete's old livejournals the lyrics to this one will sound familiar !!)

Dancing With he Devil- Krewella

All Your Heart- Transit

Second Chances- October Fall

Don't Wake Me Up- The Hush Sound

Birthday Girl- The Roots

Don't Regret It Now- Tyga

Check Your Phone- Cheap Cuts

In Transit- Mark Hoppus

If You Could Remember- Damnation A.D.

New Music Sucks- POSEHN

okay I think I got a lot of them but patrick literally composes and has his vocals all over the place so I literally could not name every band he has done a project with !! but if u feel like it, go look through his music credits lol its extensive

notably he has random backup vocal/composing/production credits on these albums to name a few

Viva La Cobra- Cobra Starship

basically every Gym Class Heroes Album

In Loving Memory of When I Gave a Shit- LOLO

California- Blink 182

Ungreatful- Escape the Fate

#fall out boy #patrick stump #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #panic at the disco #gym class heroes #cobra starship #the academy is...#this is my first post #please be nice

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milkacchan · 4 years

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Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

�� He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

#hizashi x daughter reader #hizashi x reader #aizawa x hizashi #hizashi yamada #yamada hizashi #present mic #present mic x reader #aizawa x child reader #aizawa x daughter reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #eraserhead #all might #all might x reader #mha toshinori

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its-chelisey-stuff · 3 years

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My 2020 in dramaland pt 2/4

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it and happy holidays to everyone!! These are my favorite korean dramas of the year (I stand by these titles and I’m not ashamed of them lol). In chronological order:

My Holo Love: Say what? Who? First of all, I think this is a seriously underrated kdrama. I made a review on it here. Female lead had face blindness and Male Lead was a genius programmer. I know how this sounds but it all works for the plot, actually. Loved every moment of it (I watched it twice, and I rarely do that with dramas). A sort of sci-fi/fantasy romcom drama with a really unusual (and thus my favorite, EVER) love triangle and a nostalgic feel to it. While looking at my list of kdramas I knew I couldn’t treat Holo like all the others LOL it was special for me and still is.

OTP: They had sizzling chemistry! I honestly bought every cliche because of it. Including love at first sight.

Thing I enjoyed the most: The story was simple and had a lot of cliches but they kinda worked to the story’s advantage. This show is an example of why I fell for kdramas almost 10 years ago. Plus, the CGI wasn’t bad. It’s ony 12 eps and they don’t really last an hour. A one day watch.

Do I recommend it? I LOVED it, but I recognize it’s not for everyone, but if you’re looking for something fun, cute and light to binge-watch that still has some drama and a lot of romance and a happy ending, this is for you.

Find me in Your Memory: Beautiful. Awesome chemistry. Very romantic. She’s an actress, he’s an anchorman. She forgets a lot of things, he literally can remember most things REALLY WELL. She falls for him first, he tries to put distance because of his terrible past in his dating life lol but she wins him over and by the end, he loves her more than anything and anyone. They overcome a lot of crazy shit, and being together it’s hard, but it’s worse being apart. I made a review.

OTP: Loved them both individually and together. And honestly, THAT chemistry was perfect.

Thing I enjoyed the most: The chemistry and the acting by the leads. I became a fan of both because of this.

Do I recommend it? You really haven’t seen it? Please do it. Hahahaha Well, do it if you want to see a good melo knowing what that involves (romance, sadness, lots of tears, some frustration, etc). A really sweet and happy ending that was very well deserved. My favorite melo of the year Sorry Brahms!.Also, fair warning, it has a stalkers’ sub-plot.

The King: Eternal Monarch: You all know what this is about. And I said everything I wanted in my posts (I was mostly fangirling like crazy). Here’s my last one about it. I loved the acting and the story a lot. But I think the drama should have been longer. Also, I loved the energy of the actors behind the scenes, idk why, but it always warms my heart to see the actors get along on set. Sure, it could be a publicity stunt, but I just don’t think it was the case with this one. And I know not a lot of people liked the two lead characters and said they had no chemistry but imo they were great characters and the actors had LOTS of chemistry. It’s just that it wasn’t very well translated in the first eps, but it was fixed. This, I believe, was a more of a direction problem, rather than a script or acting one.

BTW if the drama was already about time travel and parallel worlds, I had NO problem believing in destiny and that the leads were meant to be. It was fantasy, you guys, not rocket science.

OTP: the main couple loved each other passionately and fiercely. He waited 20+ years to meet her and another 20+ years (practically) to see her again AND she was willing to risk getting stuck in a timeless void just to be by his side because otherwise he would be all alone. Now, that’s love! Personally, I loved their ending.

Thing I enjoyed the most: The King ahahaha I’m a shameless fan, what can I do? He was a good man and a gentleman but a ruthless king thirsty for justice and vengeance. I cheered when he killed his uncle lmao. Also, all the mutuals I “met” thanks to this drama. You guys made the experience even better with your posts and your theories!! *sends hugs*

Do I recommend it? Look the story is great in my eyes. I did understand it and the mechanics of the time travel and the parallel worlds. The King explained everything quite a few times. I say this because most people that didn’t like it say they couldn’t understand the story and/or it made no sense. To me, it did. But I can see why this wouldn’t be for all. That being said, I shamelessly recommend it lol.

More than Friends: The faces they’re doing in the poster, are the ones I did while watching the last 4 eps of this drama HAHAHA which made me real sad/angry because I LOVED the story from ep 1 to 12. So, this is on the list MERELY BECAUSE OF LEE SOO, the male lead, played by Ong SeongWu. I went crazy and wrote about almost every scene on the drama lol I was obsessed. You can read my review about the whole thing here.

OTP: Wonderful chemistry. The best either of the actors have had so far with any of their co-stars. Then again, SeongWu has only been in 2 dramas and 1 movie. And Shin YeEun hasn’t been in a lot but had really good chemistry with Park JinYoung in He’s Pyschometric. (btw that drama is superior, I highly recommend it!)

Thing I enjoyed the most: The magnificent character development that Lee Soo went through. He was a completely different person in ep 16 compared to the selfish jerk in eps 1-4 (SeongWu’s acting in this convinced me he is one of the best actors of his age, and one of the best idols turned actors at the moment). And I loved discussing this drama with the only other 10 people who were watching it hahaha Thanks y’all.

Do I recommend it? They advertised it as a romcom, but it really isn’t. It’s more of a slice of life/melo drama. I believe this is better as a binge-watch, but do not expect mindblowing plot, since it’s a character driven drama. So, do check out my review about it and have a go at it, I guess hahaha If not, you could see my posts about the show here and still know everything, because I pretty much covered the entire drama HAHAHA.

Note: I kinda think this drama is sort of a “500 days of Summer” situation, people either sympathize with ML or FL and hate the other. Or both HAHAHA It’s all about perspective, I guess.

Tale of the Nine Tailed: Everything you could ask for in a fantasy drama. For me, it was perfect and it made me cry like a baby. I made a review on the finale. I actually liked that he got his powers back at the end. Also, the main couple was the most functional couple I saw this year in kdramas. Which is crazy if you take into acount that he wasn’t human and both had a lot of pain and traumas from their pasts. Which shows that communication and trust is key to every relationship.

OTP: THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH! AND WERE BOTH HOT. SO HOT FOR EACH OTHER. I kinda ship the actors now lol

Thing I enjoyed the most: Jiah, Yeon and Rang. The romance and the relationship between Rang and Yeon, which is what actually made me cry in the end. But we all knew it was coming.

Do I recommend it? Hell Yeah. Might not be for everyone, but if you like fantasy and romance, one heavily connected with the other, and the reincarnated lovers trope which I adore! then this is your drama.

Honorable Mentions:

You know, they almost made it. But something held me back. Still, it didn’t feel right to put them with the other dramas. So they got an honorable mention with my favorite ones.

Itaewon Class: This was, in general, a tragedy. But I loved it. Ooops. Dude was only stopping a classmate from bullying another and got his whole life ruined: got expelled, his dad was killed, he went to jail and had to start from the bottom and reached the top all thanks to one special and unique young girl. My eyes were full of tears when he finally got his happiness at the end and justice for his dad. Plus, it deals with a few topics that are still taboo in Korea. And the whole world tbh

OTP: SLOW BURN. Super slow lol For a moment there, I thought they weren’t going to be endgame, but they were and I WAS THE HAPPIEST.

Thing I enjoyed the most: Park Saeroyi and Yiseo. And the acting from the whole cast, actually. They did a really good job.

Do I recommend it? Yes. My brother hadn’t seen a kdrama in years and he saw this one. He enjoyed it greatly. I don’t know why I say this as if my brother were some kind of point of reference or expert in kdramas, but y’all need to trust me when I say this is impressive hahaha.

Into the Ring: This woman only wanted a job that could give her stability and a good pay check because her family was in huge debt. She ended up becoming a district representative that learned the real hard way a good person cannot live peacefully among politicians. She got the hell out of there in the end, thank God. Sera was a great heroine that really deserves to be called that. Loved her so much.

OTP: A super cute one that defied gender stereotypes in a delightful way. He was HER secretary at one point!

Thing I enjoyed the most: Listen, everything. It was really well done. I binged it in 2 weekends. I regret not doing a final review about it, but I just couldn’t find the time and if I do one now, it’s not gonna make the drama justice because I’m sure I’ll miss details. I did make 2 big posts about the sismance and romance.

Do I recommend it? YEP. Go see it now lol

Do you like Brahms?: Most people complained about the leads being way too depressed and miserable in the last third of the drama. I didn’t mind that, because you see, it’s what you’d expect from a melodrama lol What did leave this drama out of my favorites is the reason why they were so miserable in the first place and the 2 never actually had a long and meaningful conversation about their problems as individuals and about their relationship and it was SO needed. It was literally their thing at the start of the drama: the way they could be open with each other and communicate so damn well. But that was nowhere to be seen in the end. Still, they had a happy ending and after all that suffering, I appreciated that. I made posts about each ep. Here is the post about the last one.

OTP: Two introverts that kissed on a music room for the first time AND made out on a piano. ON THE PIANO, Y’ALL!! *fans self*

Thing I enjoyed the most: The leads. The only TWO decent people (and friends), everyone else was an awful person. Oh, and the team leader. Such a great lady!

Do I recommend it? OMG Yes? It’s hard to say it but I try to judge the drama overall and how in love I was for the most part rather than how much it frustrated me in the last few eps. If you want to watch a melo with classical music that instead of healing makes you sadder, a love hexagon that makes you want to kill secondary characters and an OTP that gets their HEA despite all that, this is your drama.

Live On: This is a last minute addition, but given the fact that it will air the last ep on the first week of 2021, it kinda technically counts as this year’s. And I do love it. A mini drama about high schoolers. Here’s my post about the first ep and about the most recent one (with spoilers) It’s just a really well done, romantic, cute and fun with touch of mystery, coming of age story.

OTP: The most popular girl in high school and the smart president of the broadcasting club. Started as strangers, then went on to disliking each other, became friends and then liked each other. Also, ML is quite straightforward and flirtily honest lol

Thing I enjoyed the most: How short it is and the pace of the story. The main couple and the way the mystery was written, not a lot so it’d make the whole drama just about that, but enough to make an interesting backstory that sets FL on her journey and in the process, brings the six main characters together.TW: the whole mystery revolves around bullying.

Do I recommend it? If you like high school romances, YES. It’s only 8 eps long! You can binge it on a saturday or a sunday and I assure you it won’t be a waste of time. Kinda wish I could erase it all from my mind so that I could experience the whole story right away. I envy those who can binge it.

#kdrama #the king: eternal monarch #my holo love #find me in your memory #more than friends #tale of the nine tailed #kdrama review #itaewon class #do you like brahms?#into the ring #live on #tkem #fmiym #end of the year drama review

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usermavka · 2 years

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there’s just too much going on rn :/

I’m already regretting for this post but I feel like I’m gonna throw up because of anxiety

my parents and I all work with my father’s brother for his clothing business and because of the war that probably about to happen here (the perks of having common borders with russia ig 🤪) everything is getting worse everyday.. I know it’s life and everything could happen but I still can’t overcome the fear that we’ll have to leave everything and run to find better life again… just like in 2014 when hostilities began in eastern Ukraine where I was born (tbh I haven’t realized how huge was this trauma and how it affects me to this day until last summer when I started my therapy sessions)

and I still somehow have to graduate from uni but I can’t (and don’t want tbh) attend classes because of work.. like it’s not my main priority now but I’m not in the best state mentally and physically to keep everything under control so it’s just giving me more reasons to worry

to be fair.. deep inside I believe that right now I’m more stronger than ever thanks to my therapist and medicines but I know it’s only the begging and I can’t get rid of depression and other problems I’ve been struggling for years in nine months… sometimes it’s just too much and I can’t escape the guilt and thoughts that I have no right to feel this way because other people around me have their own problems too

there are a lot of other things I want to say but I’ll stop here for today.. thanks to everyone who read till the end.. we all will figure it out I promise! take care! 🤍

#life update lol #a lot of depressing thoughts and war mention #so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to!#also I’m so sorry for any grammar mistakes…#I’m sure there are a lot of them here but I don’t want to double check every sentence 😵‍💫#personal

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retvenkos · 3 years

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“are you always this chaotic?”

A/N: i have an inquisitive anon in my ask box that deserves the whole world, and i decided their amazing (sometime hilarious) ask deserved better formatting, so here we are. sweet anon, this is for you.

tw: language

@bladesappreciationweek A COLLECTION OF RANDOM HEADCANONS AND MEMES FOR THE INCOMPARABLE BLADES COMPANY...

who reserves the right to say “fuck”?

mal does not deserve the right. 10/10 he would use it every other word just for the effect of it all (scandalizing tyril who is upper class and thinks there are “better, more intellectual insults” and upsetting nia who tries to play it off like it doesn’t bother her, but she doesn’t like it). no rights, we’re censoring mal.

nia deserves the right, but she would never use it. not even in her dreadlord state did she utter it (the dreadlord is also an upper class elitist, fight me) but she argues with mal that she can say it and she would, but scholar vash is watching over her right now and she can’t disgrace him (scholar vash would be vvv proud if she said it, though, don’t even lie). olinda egged her on one night and she whispered it, dissolving into a fit of giggles afterward, but neither of them speak of it afterward.

tyril does not deserve the right. he believes himself too good™ for such a word, so he doesn’t get rights. he says he’s better than banal vernacular, thank you very much, but that’s awfully presumptuous of him and fails to take into account that, at all times he’s 5 seconds away from saying it, now that mal has entered his life. 100%, mal is trying to get tyril to say it by startling him at unnecessary times or just being generally irritating, and he never gets tyril to crack. i imagine tyril does end up saying it, though. aerin turns out to be the bad guy and nia falls into the portal or whatever and tyril is just like “...... fuck.” mal is bitter he wasn’t the one to make it happen, but he doesn’t whine about it until after the dreadlord has been defeated. nia is slightly upset that she was the reason tyril broke his solemn vow, but she also laughed thoroughly at mal’s rendition of the moment and regrets that she wasn’t there to see it.

imtura deserves the right and uses it. imtura curses like a sailor. .....get it? because she’s a— alright, you get it. but yes, imtura gets to the right to say fuck and she says it enough for everyone. if mal ever wants to express himself using the expletive, imtura will gladly say it for him. solidarity. but she’s also sweet, deep down, and she keeps her swearing to a minimum when nia is around.

olinda deserves the right, 100%. she doesn’t say it often, but when she does, it has such power. mal wishes he had the commanding presence. olinda is generally too intent on finding a solution to the problem to ever dwell on failure, but when she goes into battle and realizes her group is terrible outnumbered? oop, there it is.

kade. oh, my sweet summer child, who swears often enough to rival imtura. 100%, he deserves the say “fuck” because every bard deserves free access to every word they can get their hands on. it’s rather funny that kade has a terrible mouth, since he’s like the golden retriever of the group (barring nia, ofc), but it’s also rather fitting. imtura was taken aback and mal had mad respect after hearing one of his tirades (directed at threep, ofc) and tyril is just like,,,,,, will i ever rEsT? anyway, let kade say fuck.

threep does not, under any circumstance deserve the right. threep will go off if given the right to swear, and it’s terribly annoying. everyone is trying to travel through a small town and then, out of the priestess of light’s travel bag you hear the worst string of curses you’ve ever heard - so many outdated and upper class curses picked up through the millennia and then you hear the most country, farmer swears (thanks, kade). it scandalizes everyone and nia is the poor girl who has to carry threep around. don’t let threep swear, whatever you do. it’s a power far too strong for this world.

what they get a tattoo of...

mal tries desperately to have the ~aesthetic~ so you know he gets something like a compass or a dagger or something equally as wanderlust and vague. it’s hella intricate and it’s probably on his forearm or something. i feel like mal is 100% that guy who has a tattoo for his mom on his chest but is also deeply terrified of commitment so the mere idea of getting a tattoo for someone else paralyzes him with intense fear. i don’t feel like mal is the guy to have writing for tattoos - he’s much more open to drawings than words. he’s all about the imagery. mal probably has a couple of tattoos though - he might be starting a sleeve or something, idk.

nia would deliberate long and hard before getting a tattoo - it’s permanent, after all, so she wants it to be something special. she 100% puts it on her lower back, which she grows to regret because she can’t actually see it? it is probably a flower a drawing of the temple of light, or a light crystal or something. i have a feeling there’s a prayer written in cursive that kind of wraps around the image she has tattooed. mal took her to get her tattoo and he was a proud brother™.

tyril was 100% that emo kid who wrote angsty song lyrics in a notebook, and that has not changed. i 100% guarantee that his first tattoo is a poem or something that he either wrote himself or desperately wishes he had written. he probably has it tattooed on his side or something equally as dramatic. mal wishes he had the flair that tyril just naturally carries. he’s iconic™ without even trying. he probably only has a few tattoos and most of them are small. he was one big tattoo on his back - it’s elaborate and kind of works like a family tree. it’s unique to him - he likes the idea that he carries his ancestors with him, no matter where he goes. nia notices one night that the company is on it, too, and she never says anything, but she’s touched.

imtura gets all the NAUTICAL IMAGERY. she 100% has one of those bands wrapping around her bicep, made of waves. i also imagine that imtura has a lot of ink? it’s what she deserves, and i feel like orcs are really artistic with their tattoos - their tattoos are culturally relevant and she has a story for every single one. mal knows every single story - they get sentimental on night watches. i imagine that imtura also knows how to give tattoos, so i headcanon that she gave olinda one that represents the company. imtura thought it was very sappy, but deep down, she was honored to do it.

olinda. similar to imtura, olinda has a lot of ink. the only difference is that she gets hers later on. there is one (1) person who knows how to tattoo in riverbend, and olinda got a few from them, but once she goes out to see the world? she’s going to the good™ tattoo artists and she’s fulfilling her dreams. i feel like olinda get’s her tattoos in very pointed spots - she definitely has a sleeve and you can “read” it from top to bottom - the story of her life. kade jokes that olinda’s memory is shot and so she has to get tattoos to remember her story, but he also really admires them. olinda has a lot of constellation tattoos, including some of the ones that kade made up. she’s very sappy, tbh.

kade got one (1) tattoo when he and olinda were piss drunk. it’s a matching tattoo with olinda that’s very weird and makes no sense at all. you had to be there, and tbh, even if you were there, it doesn’t make sense. to top it all off, it’s on his bicep so that when he flexes, it wiggles. at the time, olinda and kade thought it was the funniest thing and they died of laughter. does he regret it? kade maintains that he doesn’t. does he know the story behind it? he likes to say he does, but he actually doesn’t. olinda knows, and sometimes she’ll drop vague hints to see if it jogs his memory. kade maintains that he’ll never get another tattoo. once was enough.

modern! au ethnicities

disclaimer that there are a lot of great headcanons out there, and i’m here for most of them, these are just my ideas..

i imagine that mal is indian or pakistani, nia is brazilian or dominican, tyril is japanese or mongolian, imtura is maori or samoan, olinda is latina, and kade is half hispanic, half filipino.

when texting.... (and some handwriting thoughts)...

a modern! au? idk, maybe just an au where they somehow have modern technology? anyway...

mal grossly overuses emojis. his favorites are these: 🤑🔪😎😏. he also never uses proper capitalization and punctuation, and he uses abbreviations far too often. you need a key to figure out some of his texts, but imtura and olinda just know what he means. his philosophy is style and speed over substance. when he writes handwritten notes, though, his handwriting is a very fancy cursive and the care he puts into each letter is amazing. he only ever handwrites love letters to olinda and “i hate you <3″ letters to tyril, though. he did write a heartfelt birthday letter to nia, once. she framed it.

nia is my favorite because she texts like a grandparent, where they format texts like a letter and have perfect punctuation and capitalization. when she got a text from mal, she was very confused by what he was trying to express, but she wanted to know how he got the “cute faces” and mal immediately dropped everything to teach her how to use emojis. she loves them and probably uses a string of emojis at the end of her text as a part of her signature, like: [ the body of the text ] Best, Nia 😇🥰👑💖🌸 but her handwriting! it’s very nice. the temple of light had penmanship classes and nia excelled. ngl, she probably does caligraphy.

tyril uses no capitalization. punctuation only. you can hear the sarcasm through his text. he also hates emojis and memes with a burning passion. he has used this, though: -.- he did it for nia. she loved it and now every time they text, he ends his texts with his “emoji”. mal teases him because it’s dumb and now it’s a running gag that everyone send the weird emoji to each other. it’s the tyril face! tyril wants to jump off a bridge, but also finds it very sweet? he has people giving him emoji’s? is that like.... friendship? anyway, his handwriting is terrible. glorified chicken scratch. it’s efficient and nearly illegible. perfect.

imtura, on the other hand texts the most “traditionally”. she doesn’t really adhere to capitalization, and she never has the ending period, but you know what she’s saying. it’s decent. she doesn’t like to complicate things, but kade introduced her to memes and now she and him communicate together solely using low resolution memes that no one else likes. it’s very annoying but very endearing. her handwriting is nice - simple and easy to understand. she uses a lot of shorthand and a lot of sailor jargon that goes over some people’s (read: tyril’s) heads, but is smart and to the point.

olinda, actually, is the one to have proper punctuation and capitalization, with little flavor to her texts. occasionally she’ll send an emoji or two, but mostly it’s just... communication. she much prefers calling, and will call you 20 times in a row until you answer. she forces tyril to facetime her and he rolls his eyes but secretly loves it. communication is much more efficient when you can see each others facial expressions, and boy, does context go a long way when talking with tyril. oH! I FORGOT TO MENTION - olinda grew up on a rural farm. olinda chronically says “y’all” and has all of those weird, farm related sayings. kade doesn’t have this problem because he “trained himself in verse” and said that he had to be “worldly” not “farm chic.” anyway, her handwriting is kind of careless in nature - not especially nice, but not especially terrible, either. it’s a hybrid between cursive and print (whatever is fastest is best).

kade texts solely in dank memes and lengthy prose. he is the most chaotic person in the group chat, either bidding the company to draw near by sending them four stanzas of incredibly vague meaning (only tyril and olinda understand) or he’s sending “vroom vroom bitch” memes that mal and imtura adore. the blades book may not have given kade flavor, but on GOD i will give it to him because a bard requires chaotic vibes, even if he has a tragic backstory. you know what? especially because he has a tragic backstory, kade deserves some chaos. give me chaotic kade or give me death. as for handwriting, i like to think that kade has two modes: “drafting” handwriting (chicken scratch to rival tyril) and “final product” handwriting that is purposefully and beautifully penned. he had a lot of time to perfect his writing, being sick, and boy did it pay off.

threep deserves to be in this line up, despite not being able to write. in this chaotic technology au, nia has created an instagram page for threep, and because he’s one of the last living nespers, it goes viral. when olinda and mal stumble upon it they have to laugh because it’s full of really expertly done ~aesthetic~ photos with really sweet captions - things threep wouldn’t say in a million years. the account is only up for a few months and at first the posting is really consistent, and then it suddenly falls apart and the account is deleted soon after. apparently, threep didn’t know the instagram account existed and when he found out, he and nia had legendary fights and wouldn’t speak for like, 2 weeks after. nia made a very shady and slightly vague call out post and it was the first time the company really saw her get petty. the instagram page was the perfect fuel for kade’s scathing and petty remarks at threep, and threep came out hard, making a dig at kade’s writing and his stupid tattoo. threep nearly died at the hands of the two sweetest - kade and nia. it was certainly one for the books.

high school! au

(you are right, anon, a high school au would be iconic™)

mal is 100% a band kid. he has the “i play the guitar to be cool” vibes. and besides, the guitar player in the band is always a little more ~rebellious~ than the other band kids (superseded only by the standing bass kids in orchestra, who had unrivaled chaotic evil energy). plus, mal has a flair for the dramatic, which the band kids have in spades. mal is a little too much of a rule breaker to have been on any teams or anything super structured like that, and while we all know that he’s a heartbreaker, he’s not a popular kid™ because (at least in my school) the popular kids are always rich kids who run in the “right” circles. mal is too cool for that.

nia on the other hand is the smart prep that’s really sweet. like, the girl who’s friends with the cheerleaders and could have been one, too, if she wasn’t so shy™. she’s mostly overlooked in favor of the more glamorous, but everyone knows nia and they’re all like, “yeah! she’s cute! and smart, and nice.” she’s probably in like, robotics club or something equally as estranged but smart. 100%, nia is the gabriella montez archetype. she’s in a few clubs, including choir, where her angelic voice earns her a few solos. people are always trying to give her positions of power in their clubs, but she graciously declines because she’s stretched too thin and stress is a thing.

tyril. i know you all want him to be like, the smart one who’s in debate club and is really charming, but tyril’s social skills are not cut out for that. tyril is like that smart kid who sits at the back of history class and knows all the answers but never raises his hand. he has one (1) popular friend who has been close with him since they were both in diapers, but he doesn’t feel comfortable with their friends so he just kinda sits alone for the most part. he was picked up once by the emo artsy kids, but it didn’t really stick. he likes poetry class and does a metal working class because he can be alone with his headphones and thoughts™. in high school he’s just brooding without the mystery. tyril cringes at his youth. he’s too strong and iconic in his current age, so he had to be cringeworthy in his teen years. perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

imtura was 100% that cool, slightly edgy girl on the volleyball team. she was popular with the students and the teachers - like, this is the student that the school mentions is going places, and yet are also like,,,, “let’s try to guide you over here, imtura. you have such potential! don’t squander it!” and imtura hates nothing more than their incessant pleas for her to be the model student. she just wants to travel the world, maybe join a punk band, and get lost at sea. that’s not too much to ask, right? she’s also on the football team, and she’s team captain. she lives in sweatpants and workout clothes, and they actually really suit her? definitely crush material, this one. she’s probably also throws some killer weekend parties with mal’s input.

olinda was harder to place, but i imagine that she’s one of those hands on kids, taking woodworking, metal working, and auto mechanics classes. maybe she was on the soccer team, one year, but that didn’t really work out. she’s a team player and all, but she likes something with a little more purpose. she met tyril in metalworking, she met mal when helping with sets for the school play (he was annoying the theatre kids, as per usual), she met imtura in gym class because imtura picked her to be on her flag football team (which was a great choice, really), and she met nia when she went to the choir room, looking for kade. she’s not popular, per se, but people know her face and they think she’s pretty cool.

kade on the other hand, is 100% an artsy theatre kid. he’s not the super obnoxious theatre kid, and he’s not the snobby theatre kid either, he’s kind of like the older sibling theatre kid who’s infinitely cooler than you, incredibly talented, but also really down to earth and ready to create an elaborate inside joke with you over the course of the year. he has it all: the tragic backstory that adds flavor and depth to his writing, the kind personality that gets him friends wherever he goes, the amazing vocals that make him a shoe in for every performance..... but he often gets overlooked. why? it’s one of those injustices that just don’t make sense. he’s decently popular among the art nerds, and everyone wonders why he doesn’t get lead roles. a real ryan evans, if we want to go with a hsm reference.

AND FLUFF ENSUES.

-- taglist: @musicallisto, @missameliep // message me if you want to be added!

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luvdsc · 2 years

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my first business midterm was a success! i only got one question wrong, and same goes for the second one i just took! 😁 so crazy i feel like i just started college and now i’m about to sign up for my next classes already :’) time flies

about the boy, don’t worry. it’s been a while since i found out about it and i am okay now. tbh i’m kinda glad we didn’t become anything more because looking back on it he wasn’t even all that omg i was just blinded by my “i can fix him” mindset along with the fact he was tall 😭 making jokes about the situation with my friends really helped me overcome it. plus i don’t think i had any sadness in me left the second i saw his new girl looks like me whoops but as crazy as it sounds even though he broke my heart i still trust he won’t ever tell anyone else the personal stuff i told him when i opened up to him so there’s that 👍

on a brighter note, so the concert was actually hitc omg which is technically not a concert lol but it was easier to type it as so but ANYWAYS hitc was SOO FUN it was definitely a memory for the books. rich brian was for sure my favorite set out of all the days. i think i saw you said you went as well??! how was your experience? whose set did you like the most?

i’m actually really happy with my life rn and the friends i have who are still in it. reflecting on the past couple months and what i went through, ik everything happened for a reason and have no regrets in any of the choices i made. in the end it all taught me lessons ik i probably wouldn’t have learned otherwise. so yeah this is the most content i’ve been in a long time :)

anyways i would love to hear your thoughts on the re-recorded version of red and the 10 minute all too well mv!! what’s your favorite song from the vault? for me ive been having message in a bottle on repeat i absolutely love the nostalgic vibe the best has & the lyrics hehe reminds me a lot of summer - 💐 anon

oh my gosh, congratulations, honey bee !!!!! 🥳🥳 that’s fantastic news, you did amazing, and I’m so proud of you 🤩🤩 I bet you’re the one who’s setting the grade curve in your classes :’) best of luck with enrollment !!! 🍀 I hope you’re able to get all the classes you want, lovebug 💕 are there any that you’re excited to take next quarter?

I’m glad to hear you’re doing well and are over that boy 💞 he didn’t deserve your time, effort, and feelings anyway 🤧 tall boys really have us in their clutch huh 😔 oof we gotta stay away from those types of boys that bring out the “I can fix him” mentality - they need a therapist first before we should even consider dating them SHUSJSDK omg his new girl looks like you?? All the best to her, I hope she sees the warning signs and moves from him too rip but it’s reassuring that you know/trust him enough that he will keep your secrets 💕

OMG YOU WERE AT HITC TOO ??? WASN’T IT SO GOOD !!!!! I made new friends there, and we’re planning to meet up again there next year !! And they also live close by, so we’re gonna hang out again sometime soon too 💘 YES I also loved rich brian’s set, also the ending stage when he and warren hue performed together was amazing 🤩 I wanted to see keshi perform the most and I loved his performance the most, but they did him so dirty with his mic 😡 I’m still mad about that hdjdjdjddk and I was super excited to see dpr, niki, and saweetie !!!! 💓💓

aaaaa I’m so happy to hear that you feel this way, sweetpea 🥺💟💟💟 I feel like when you reach that stage of happiness and contentment with your life, that’s the best place to be, like I don’t know how to explain it but it just feels so wonderful to be at peace with yourself and fully enjoy and embrace where you are in your life 💛💛 I hope you continue to feel that way, lovebug 🤍✨

OH MY GOSH I AM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH RED TV 😭❤️❤️❤️ like I am still playing all too well ten min version on repeat today, and it’s been like that since Monday 🤧 ngl i cried over the all too well mv, especially the you dropped my hand scene. The age gap was just so uncomfortable to watch, but it also was portrayed so accurately and vividly, and it just felt so raw and out there. My song favorites are still treacherous and holy ground for the original tracks, but message in a bottle is my favorite vault song too !!!! 💜 I agree, it sounds so nostalgic and summery ✨ nothing new hits me hard tho 🤧 and the very first night is really pretty sounding 💓 what about you, honey bee? Which songs are your favorites? Did they change from your old favorites when the first album version came out? 🌷🌷

#asks #anonymous #💐 anon

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writesowhatnext · 4 years

Text

not the brightest of ideas // sirius black

Summary: reader is Sirius’ side piece but you might have a few more feelings than required for this particular role

Request: Another Sirius x Reader ANGST (i'm obsessed w sirius angst i'm sorryyy😔) based on the song "The Weekend" by SZA. Sirius has a girlfriend and y/n is his side chick who is in love w him but he doesn't give a shit about her :( They dont talk in public and his friends and gf don't know about her, of course. She tells him she wants more than just sex with him but he doesn't care :( Angst ending please! Ty babe 🥺

A/N: I’m not a fan of stories with ppl cheating but I liked your request tbh bc I always hate hate hate it when people are like “no I love you I’ll never cheat on you again it was a mistake” bc personally that’s just bullshit

Reader: unspecified

Warnings: toxic relationship!!!, cheating, nsfw, sex talk, angst, swearing

“Could you be more of a swot?” Your friend asked as she left the library, ready to go to the party. You laughed as she left, rolling your eyes. Charms essays don’t write themselves. You walked around the bookshelves, stopping by the section on levitation charms. Sliding a thick hardback from the shelf, you turned to sit down, instead walking straight into someone’s back.

“Shit, sorry.” You said as he turned around slowly. He was tall and handsome and his red tie suited him no matter how scruffily it had been knotted.

“Not a problem.” He smirked, wiping his bottom lip with his thumb. You offered a smile in response.

“I’m Sirius Black.”

You recognised the name. If his handsome face hadn’t already made you nervous, his reputation surely did.

“Y/N.”

He nodded, tonguing his cheek.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

He nodded again and then turned around. He walked towards another boy, James Potter if you remembered correctly. As you stood there, contemplating what exactly had just happened, he turned back to face you. You bit your lip. He shot you a wink. You stepped back behind the shelf slightly. James turned around to see what Sirius was looking at. He didn’t see you.

“What’s up, Pads?”

“Nothing.”

That’s all you ever were to Sirius Black.

You should’ve known, really. Sirius Black was notorious at Hogwarts: a handsome pureblood wizard who could and did get anyone he wanted. He was smart and talented and funny and charming and rebellious. One thing he was not was monogamous. Everyone knew that. He liked to play, especially with girls. Though, he didn’t discriminate. If he wanted something, he would take it – to hell with the consequences. When he decided he wanted you, who were you to deny him?

After you met, for months he did nothing unless you were alone. He would pass you in the corridors without a glance, he never said hello; he acted like you didn’t even exist. But when you were alone, he was completely obsessed. In empty hallways and between shelves in the library, he would whisper the dirtiest things in your ear, his hands wandering all over you. He enjoyed the effect he had on you, you just knew it. He loved the way your breathing would get shallow and the wild, blown look in your eyes. He lived for the feeling of your hands on him, the high he got from the attention. When the rumour spread that he was dating Marlene McKinnon, you expected your secretive fun to stop, especially when he kissed her in the Great Hall in front of everybody. Whispers spread throughout the castle of Marlene McKinnon being the girl that finally tied Sirius Black down. You believed them until Sirius knocked on your door in the middle of the day one weekend.

There was a Hogsmeade trip and it was the last before Christmas, so almost everyone had gone. You hadn’t been in the mood, too busy with school work and not up for having to watch Sirius and Marlene snog across a pint of butterbeer. The last person you expected to see when you opened your door was him. He was more impatient than usual, pushing past you into your empty room, casting a quick look over his shoulder to see if anyone had seen him.

“Hi.” He said, as if it hadn’t been weeks. You tried to ignore the way his grin had you weak at the knees.

“What are you doing here?”

“Aren’t you pleased to see me?”

You bit your lip. He walked forwards, a sly smile on his face as he placed his hands on your hips.

“I thought we could have a bit of fun.”

You frowned up at him, far too aware of his fingers playing with the hem of your jumper, itching to remove it.

“What about Marlene?”

He smirked, tipping his head to the side. He leant forwards and your breathing stopped as his lips pressed to the shell of your ear.

“This can be our little secret, eh?”

And, so it was. For weeks.

If the guilt about helping Sirius cheat wasn’t enough, you had to cope with feelings you didn’t expect. It had been embarrassingly easy to convince yourself that Sirius wasn’t just doing this with only you so you weren’t really that guilty in the whole thing – he was the one in a relationship after all. You hated your newly messed up, self-validating logic, but it made it easier to at least partially lift the weight on your conscience. The weight of your feelings was something else entirely. You found yourself staring at Sirius across of rooms, in class, the Great Hall, corridors, Hogsmeade, even. Something about the way he laughed, the way he teased his friends, set something alight in you. It was part of a Sirius you only ever got to see if he fell asleep before you.

As a rule, Sirius avoiding sleeping with you. He would either leave straight after sex or he would be gone by morning, usually returning to his dorm in the dead of night before you or the castle woke up. He’d made it very clear that this was only between you – no one could know. It made your heart ache. As did seeing him asleep next to you. He was so calm when he slept, so vulnerable. Some nights he had a small smile on his face that made butterflies erupt inside you. It was a different Sirius to the one you spent your nights hot and heavy with. He was so many more things than just someone to sleep with and that scared you. Every time you were together you found yourself wishing for more. You couldn’t regret your choice to carry on with your arrangement; you would take any scrap of attention you could get from him. That said, you were fully aware of how pathetic it was and you realised how stupid you were to think this would be easy. What a bad idea it was to get yourself involved with him.

Thoughts of being more than what you were with Sirius filled your mind for weeks. It wasn’t until another Hogsmeade weekend in summer that he’d been able to ditch his friends and see you. He’d passed you a note very covertly in the corridor the week before telling you to stay at Hogwarts. Part of you wanted to go to Hogsmeade just to spite him, to prove that you weren’t that desperate. You were though. When you opened the door to your dorm, him pushing past you as he always did, you felt numb. You looked behind him to see if anyone was out there. There wasn’t, obviously, they all had real relationships to enjoy - not empty moments shared in the dark. When you turned around, he was kissing you, hands pressed to your cheeks before dropping to your shirt, starting to undo the buttons. Usually, you helped him. Or took off his clothes. Not this time.

It took him a while before he noticed your overall lack of participation and stepped back, dropping his hands slightly.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, breathless and confused. You blinked.

“N-nothing. Sorry.”

He narrowed his eyes slightly but seemed to give up on his interrogation when you began to undress him. He didn’t care that much anyway. It wasn’t until you pulled back again, palms against his bare shoulders, his hands at your waist, that he huffed.

“What is up with you today, Y/N?”

There was no fondness in his voice. He’d never throw his arm around you as he did to Marlene McKinnon in the Three Broomsticks.

“I-“ you had even less of an idea of what you were going to say than he did. “I can’t do this anymore, Sirius.”

“What?”

He wasn’t hurt, that was obvious. Confused, definitely. Annoyed, probably. Not hurt though. He just pulled away from you, frowning. After a moment his hands left your body.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He said. You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head.

“It’s not that.”

He frowned.

“I need more than this.” You opened your eyes even though you knew seeing his face would break your heart. “I want more than this. With you.”

He didn’t understand at first. Then a strangely regretful look passed over his features before it hardened completely. You hated the way a part of you lit up at the regret, happy that he cared even a little about your feelings before he went for the jugular.

“I don’t like you, Y/N.” he insisted, somewhat firmly, as if he were fishing for each word individually. “This was never going to be anything more.”

You nodded, clenching your jaw. You didn’t trust your voice, already aware of the tears blurring your vision and the lump growing in your throat. He got off your bed, pulling his trousers up. You watched him throw his shirt on, doing up the buttons quickly, haphazardly.

“Sirius, I-“ his eyes were sharp. “I’m sorry.”

He looked down to do his tie, casting one last hard look at you.

“Yeah.” He said, turning around and disappearing through the door, shutting it behind him.

You swallowed, chewing at your top lip as tears began to run down your cheeks. Part of you knew this would happen. You should’ve expected it from the start, really. It was never going to be a good idea to get so close to Sirius Black. You pulled your bed sheets over your head, desperate to hide from the world.

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