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myloveforhergoeson · 9 months

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That's All She Wrote - Chapter 19

Chapter Index

Find me on wattpad + ao3!

Show: Big Time Rush

Pairing: James Diamond x Original Female Character

Chapter 19: No Sleep Till Brooklyn ~ 11k

Jo and Camille,

You’ll never believe who took my phone the first day of tour and refuses to give it back because “I have more important things to be focused on right now.”

I KNOW HE CHANGED MY LIFE BUT SOMETIMES I HATE GUSTAVO ROCQUE. And I’d never say I hate Kelly, but I am upset she let him do that… SOS!

Thanks to my expert negotiation skills, I’m allowed one call to my Dad per week - like this is some kind of prison or something - so I’m going to do my best to write letters to both of you in order to keep you updated.

While it took a long time for Gustavo, Kelly, and I to map out this tour path, I didn’t think about what it would mean to be crammed on a handful of buses with both the band and our musical accompaniment. Our lovely producer and talent scout get to take flights and stay in five-star hotels, but I’m okay to travel by bus. I’ve only been to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and California, so I’m excited to see the country this way. First stop - Orlando! In three days!

We booked three buses, one for the musical accompaniment (technically I’m one of them I suppose, but the boys say they hate road trips with Logan, so I just snuck onto the bus he’s on to keep him company), and two for the band. Each one has three tiny bunks, some couches, a full bathroom, most of a kitchen, and plenty of cabinet space for snacks, games, and anything we could possibly need. For now, I’m writing from the couch, sitting next to a napping Logan, and Carlos is up front making friends with the driver, Henrietta. The other bus is currently transporting Kendall and James.

Speaking of, after Gustavo told us the tour was back on after the concert when I came running to you two to tell you what had happened, James practically ran straight to 2-J to pack and hasn’t spoken to me since. I thought I had done everything right but I guess maybe he wasn’t actually into me after all. Maybe just the thrill of surviving a kidnapping?

“I lived through this so now I can kiss Roxy!”

Blegh.

Though, I suppose it might be a good thing… After thinking about it while I was packing I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now, if that’s even something he’s interested in. Sure, I like him, but I think I still need some time to get over what Dak did to me. As much as I don’t enjoy thinking about it, they bare many similarities and that scares me a bit more than I’d like to admit.

Pop stars

Can be self-absorbed

‘Cuda extra strength hairspray

Pretty

I should probably quit while I’m ahead, but I guess I’m gonna learn my lesson if I keep playing with fire and then promptly getting burned.

All my love,

Roxy

***

Hey,

It was so humid in Orlando that it took me an extra hour to fix my hair before the show, but other than that, we had a lot of fun! I’m really proud of the show we put together and getting to perform for a new crowd all the way across the country was so surreal. There are people who know all the words to my songs, more than willing to scream them right in my face… If only that pesky boy band wasn’t in the way.

Just kidding!

Today, we’re heading to Mansfield, Massachusetts - one whole day on the bus and a show tomorrow. I’d look up some facts about the town to share but, you know, no phone or whatever. Warden Rocque hasn’t changed his mind even after the combination of pleading from the five of us…

Before the show in Orlando, I got to talk with the guys in the musical accompaniment band a bit more, they were super nice! Mick, the bass player, is pretty quiet and mostly hangs out with Gustavo and Kelly since they’re old friends, but Austin, the drummer, is our age and easy to get along with! He goes to a performance arts high school in Los Angeles called Hollywood Arts (Can you believe that’s a real thing?! A whole school just for acting, singing, and growing musical talent?!)

Austin and I have somewhat similar music taste, and his father taught him how to play the drums, just like my dad taught me how to play the guitar! We’re alike in many ways, and since 1/4 of Big Time Rush wants to ignore me right now, I think I’ll be spending more time with him…

It’s bad that I thought James might kiss me again at the show last night, right? I stood in the same spot side-stage, putting on the same lipstick and everything, but he and the band just ran past me on the way to the other side of the venue. I wonder if he told them what happened; everyone else is being normal to me.

Logan says he misses you so much, Camille! Quickly followed by a panicked statement, “Not that I don’t care about Jo, it’s just different!” Kendall joined us on the bus today, swapping out with Carlos, and said, “Tell Jo I vow to get my phone back so I can call her again,” and when I asked him why he didn’t write you letters too, he claimed that stamps were too expensive. Perhaps your boyfriend is both illiterate and broke, Jo, and for that I’m sorry.

See you soon, even if soon isn’t soon enough,

Roxy

***

Thought of you both today, and it made me so happy,

We just arrived in Agawam, Massachusetts, which is only two hours away from Mansfield, so we had a quick show turnaround for the day.

I never knew going on tour was so exhausting, it’s like I’m constantly running around the venues, checking our equipment, making sure the proper snacks are in the band’s green rooms, or seeing if the stage crew needs any help. We have two big eighteen-wheelers to carry all of our stage equipment… I can’t imagine being in charge of all that stuff - the stage manager is a saint!

This morning, Gustavo dragged us out of the bus around 6 am to get to a local radio station so the band could promote their show tonight live on the air. They even gave a pair of tickets away to a fan, it was so fun to watch and reminded me a bit of my radio days. I might call my old boss and ask her if BTR can get on Project Pop when we finish our tour in Duluth.

While the band was working out with our athletic trainer to keep in shape for the show this evening, I hung out with Austin a bit more. He was nice enough to show me his drum kit and I think I’m going to ask him to teach me how to play if we have some free time. It looks a lot more fun than the piano, plus I get to hit things. Drums are a crucial part of instrumental songwriting, and I could really use the knowledge of a seasoned drummer to help me learn.

James saw us together today when he made his way to the stage to warm up for the show, and I might be overexaggerating but I think he was a bit put off by it. I thought about talking to him about it, not that I need to ask if it's okay or justify who I hang out with, but I actually think he and Austin would get along really well if he could stand to be in the same room as me for more than 5 minutes.

I think it should be illegal to kiss someone and then promptly ignore them. What if I wanted to kiss him again? And again? And again?

Anyway, I wish mail traveled fast enough that you two could send me replies and I’d be guaranteed to get them at the next venue. It feels a bit like I’m writing to a brick wall here, but it certainly keeps me occupied during our very rare downtime. The couch on this bus has become my unspoken spot (the bunks are too narrow and small for me to feel comfortable in them) and I need to do more than just sleep here, listen to my iPod, or write/play my guitar.

Until the next letter,

Rox

***

Hello!

Too many things happened today for me to record before the show, I’m writing you two a nice list as we drive away to our next stop.

James rode the bus with Logan and me today (a two-hour ride to Saratoga Springs, New York) and the two of them ignored me almost the entire time and just played their stupid video game on the TV. All I got was a “Hey, Rox, can we use the couch?” and some semblance of a thank you when I told him yes. Ugh. Is “Hey, Rox, remember when I kissed you last week? Wasn’t that so awesome? Wanna do it again?” too much for him now? It feels like I sucked all of his fun, flirty, carefree attitude straight out of his body.

I asked Austin if he could teach me how to play the drums and he said yes, as long as I helped him write a song for a fun summer project. Apparently, a good chunk of the kids at his school are songwriters too, how neat! If they write something like a short scene of a play, a song, or a musical composition and present it in the first few weeks of school, they get extra course credit. I wish the Palm Woods school had something like that - I’d be rocking straight A’s the entire year.

It was finally time for me to call my dad today, as per Warden Rocque’s direction, and he’s doing okay. Nothing ever changes with him, so I’m pretty at ease as we travel. Kelly let me put him on the guest list for the Duluth show, and even though I know he won’t really like our music, I think he’ll admire the production. He always wanted to tour around the country, and I hope showing him some backstage magic can help satisfy the teenage rocker he used to be. Maybe it’ll be a good time for him to meet Kendall, Logan, and Carlos too!

The band was recognized in public for the first time today while we were waiting in line for coffee! I’m not sure if the girl posted the photo I happily took of her and the boys to ScuttleButter, but I hope you two can find it so you can see their dazzling, shocked smiles. They were beyond ecstatic; Carlos spilled most of his drink from how hard his hands were shaking with adrenaline. Good thing he wasn’t wearing his concert outfit or Gustavo would’ve thrown a fit.

I was hoping to sneak away and take a train to New York City since we got here so early in the morning, but that is what happened instead. We’re playing Madison Square Garden near the end of the tour, so I’ll see the city then, but I’m worried I’ll be too tired and burnt out to enjoy it.

Warm wishes,

Roxy

***

Friends,

Sorry for the lack of letters these past few days! We’ve been so busy getting from New York to Oklahoma, we haven’t stopped anywhere with a mailbox I could easily find. You know what would make it easier for me to find a post office? Having my phone.

I’ve probably complained about that enough, right?

Over the course of this particular trip, I’ve been traveling with Logan and Carlos and I’m beginning to understand why the boys claim road trips with Logan are tough. He has a pretty strict expectation for cleanliness, which Carlos and I do not adhere to at all - but in helping clean up and placing things in their bunks to help put a rest to Logan’s anxiety this afternoon, I learned he has a picture of you, Camille, tapped to the top of his bunk. It’s been pretty well hidden by the curtain he keeps drawn, but I caught a glimpse of it this afternoon. So romantic!!! I imagine Kendall has something similar of you, Jo, but I’ll have to wait until he’s back in rotation with us to double-check.

I wonder if it’s exhausting for the other three to keep moving around, or if they prefer it that way. For me, I like knowing that Bus 1 is my bus… Having to haul all my stuff from one bus to another feels like an excellent way to lose some of my things.

Do you think if James and I were together he’d have a picture of me in his bunk? The thought of him falling asleep to dreams of me… Seems impossible. And exhausting to work for. If he’s going to be all hot and cold like this, I’m not sure I’d be able to take it, but on the other hand, it’s not like I’m communicating with him either because whenever I even try to bring up anything related to us at all, I freeze up and all the thoughts exit my brain before I can get a word out. Maybe we are made for each other after all since neither of us seems to want to get a word out… The pretty idiot and his idiot songwriter… Haha….

On a separate note, after the show in Tulsa tonight, the band, our bosses, and the musical accompaniment will be headed straight to the airport to catch a flight to Del Mar, California for our next show there in four days. Due to my flight aversion, I get to stay with the buses and gear and travel on the ground to meet them there. It will be interesting to see how I fare, considering I’ve been around the band 24/7 for the last two weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to work on some music distraction-free. I have a few works in progress, both about guys I really don’t want to think about, but once this tour cycle is over there’s no doubt we’re going to begin the process all over again for album 2.

Just paused writing this to pull out my journal and write “All Over Again” down on a blank page. That sounds like a wonderful song title.

Talk again soon,

Roxy

***

Guess what?

I was right about getting in some quality songwriting time. With the near silence of the bus, besides the intermittent strumming of my guitar and terrible singing of my own lyrics to the musical background track in my head, I think I’ve finally finished Til I Forget About You, even if the title isn’t all that accurate.

In fact, the title isn’t accurate in the slightest. In these last four days, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about Dak more. There’s been lots of frustrated yelling, crying, ripping and crumpling of pages of my journal on the floor… I don’t know how Taylor Swift makes writing break-up songs look so easy. She’s been who I pray to when I get stuck on a line or can’t figure out which chord I like better.

Between Gustavo’s and my affinity for pop music, when I write from the deep recesses of my heart, I find myself bringing out my rock roots. There’s nothing better than the feeling of guitar blasting from the speakers so loud you can feel it rattling around in your rib cage, filling up your ears and leaving them ringing for days on end, and that is the feeling I’ve been coasting on these few days…

It reminds me of my dad and I think that’s why it helps me feel better. Growing up on the heels of his time in the rock scene in Texas, then discovering the punk scene in Minnesota, he was always using his free time to replicate the sounds he’d hear at shows to play for me on his days off. He would tell me all the time that I was such a smiley, giggly kid, as long as his guitar was out - so the minute I was old enough to hold one in my hands he bought me one and taught me to play.

When I was finally old enough to go to shows with him, I always loved the contrast between our looks - my mainstream, bright-colored clothing straight out of TeenVogue and his old, beat-up black band t-shirts blending in with the dark ink on his forearms and even darker jeans and Doc Martins. Was a crowded basement in a random suburb miles away from our house, filled with drunk 20 to 30-somethings and a lineup of 7 different bands in one night really the safest place for a 13-year-old girl? Certainly not, but he always kept me safe and gave me a space to foster my own music taste just like he was afforded as a teenager.

Phew. That was a long-winded way of saying that I’m finally starting to find myself getting over the pain Dak caused me through my music, and I’m really lucky Big Time Rush has given me the space to explore this. Not that Til I Forget About You is an incredible, unmatched rock song - it is still very much a pop song, which I love just as much - but it is, for all intents and purposes, mine.

I miss both of you so much, and I cannot wait to see you again.

Roxy

***

Greetings,

One thing always seems to lead to another. In Del Mar, we finally had an actual, honest-to-God day of rest yesterday and the band asked if I wanted to go to the beach with them. Of course, I agreed, because it felt close to chilling by the Palm Woods pool, but once we got there I quickly learned that the trip everyone took without me brought Austin and the boys closer together. Which is fine, that’s what I wanted in the first place, but now, it feels like I’ve lost my touring buddy.

They spent the entire day surfing (where did these boys learn how to surf?), playing volleyball, and trying to pick up dates, and basically left me to my own devices to watch our stuff. I even wore my best bikini top (purple!) in hopes maybe, just maybe, it would bother James a bit, but I’m not sure he even noticed as he kept trying to play wingman for Carlos and Austin all day. I guess he decided no one on the beach was interesting enough to try and pick up.

Something I did notice, not that it matters at all, but Austin had a bit of trouble in the sun all day. Logan said that he was displaying symptoms of hypoglycemia, and he and I had to help Austin back to our stuff at one point after he nearly toppled over from how shaky his legs were. Eventually, we were able to get a few sodas in him, and he claimed to be right as rain, but it was pretty scary. I know it’s not right of me to ask him what I can do to help if he ever needed it because if he wanted me to share, he would have told me, but it was a bit hard not to take note of the small, off-white pod attached to his deep almond abdomen when he took his shirt off.

Typically, I’d just look it up in private to confirm my own thoughts, but I don’t get my phone for another few days. For now, though, or until he’s comfortable talking about it, I stopped into a corner store on the way back to our buses to grab some snacks that I think would help if his blood sugar were to drop unexpectedly again. Now I just pray nothing punctures the small juice boxes I put in a plastic bag or the hard fruit candies don’t spill out and stick to anything.

And on top of all of that, despite applying copious amounts of sunscreen, I managed to burn my legs. Goodbye shorts and skirts, hello pants I was saving for the colder climates. I tried to take a page out of Hayley Williams’ style book and go for shorts and fitted tees or crop tops as my go-to stage look - adding in jewelry, belts, tights, whatever to switch up my looks day to day, but now I guess I’ll be looking more like Gwen Stefani circa 1995 with my small shirts and big pants.

The show went off without a hitch and we’re off to Central Point, Oregon now, and hopefully once things get back to normal I can get my tour buddy back.

Rox

***

Girls!!!!

I know you’re both from the east coast, and I am obviously so Midwest, but there is just something about the crisp, Oregon air that makes me long for a different hometown. If I grew up here, beautiful Central Point, I think (in addition to being a major league hippie) I might have led a very different life. It’s strange to think about, and I’m incredibly grateful for my current life, but can you imagine if I was the owner of a quaint crystal shop on the edge of the evergreen forests of this state, or if I hand knit sweaters, tye-dying them all crazy, fun colors to sell to tourists. One pretty prominent radio station, Talk Radio Network, is based here, so maybe I’d still be Rockin’ Roxy out here too…

It’s a quiet town, however, not like Duluth or Los Angeles, and it’s pretty far from Portland. My dad always told me he wanted to visit there - apparently, they have a thriving music community in that town.

That’s all I have in the way of updates. After tonight’s show, we’re on our way back to California to the town of Turlock. Kelly, Gustavo, and I could have been a bit more coordinated when booking shows, but we were desperate enough to take whatever we could get, even if it meant extra travel time.

Extra travel time, however, means I have more time to think about the dumpster fire that is my love life as I am now trapped in a bus with James once again. Maybe he and Logan will play that stupid game again and leave me alone as I write.

Speaking of, here’s a few lines I’m working on. What do you think?

I see you walking, but all you do is pass me by,

Can’t even talk, ‘cause words don’t come into my mind,

I’d make a move if I had the guts to,

But I’m paralyzed

Best,

Roxy

***

Good morning, or evening, or whatever the appropriate time may be,

I’m so sorry I skipped out on letters these past few days, our show turnaround time has been insane, and I’ve been doing my best to keep up with my assistant-ly duties to the best of my ability - meaning I’ve had no time to myself in the last four days. Since I last wrote, we’ve been to Turlock, California, Costa Mesa, California, Kansas City, Missouri, and are presently pulling away from Harrington, Delaware.

A list of things of note for you:

In Turlock, Carlos ran over to me during the show and asked me if I wanted to sing. I said absolutely not and he ran off again. Then in Costa Mesa, he ran up to me during City is Ours and asked me to shout “There they are!” into his microphone after the “We pull up, open the door, all the girls scream-” line, while the rest of the band held theirs out to the crowd. They’re really taking this show and making it theirs, and it’s lovely to see. As I write this, Carlos just informed me I’ll be doing that every night with that big, goofy grin of his that makes it impossible for me to even think about saying no.

We did a radio show in each city, and the questions these interviewers come up with in order to be different from one another are just insane. Though, one of the hosts did ask them if they had anyone special waiting for them back home - it gave Logan a chance to stutter his way around the question (Camille… Make it official with him already!) and Kendall the opportunity to monologue about Jo for, like, five minutes. I would’ve recorded it had I had a device on hand capable of doing so (yeah I’m not done complaining). By the time he was done, the interview had nearly ended, so Carlos squeaked out “I have four special people!” and I think he meant the Jennifers and Stephanie (Is Stephanie back yet?). James (blegh!) said “Anyone willing to wait on me is special,” like the true teen idol he is. Any girl willing to wait on him… I pity her.

My drum lessons started in Kansas City after the band managed to rope Austin into a game of pickup while the buses were unloading. Who puts a basketball hoop outside of a music venue and expects anyone to get anything done? Regardless, it was a lot of fun and Austin is a pretty attentive teacher - far better than grouchy Gustavo when he was going over piano basics. There’s a lot I can learn from him! We also started writing his song, a fun, simple summer song about the beach and girls and whatnot… I’m excited to see this project through with him.

Gustavo and Kelly wrote a note on the daily itinerary sheets they give the band and I that we’re currently headed to Denver, Colorado, where we’ll have two days off from performing to do interviews, radio shows, news slots, the whole nine yards. Apparently, news outlets come to us, not the other way around, and they’re very excited to talk to America’s next top boy band. We’ll be doing a few live acoustic performances as well, meaning the guys and I, on camera, filmed for the whole world to see. Let’s hope I don’t mess up.

Miss you endlessly!

Roxy

***

Greetings from the Mile High City,

The press day, the boys claimed, was “hella exciting” and “beyond epic”... I’d describe it more like “waking nightmare” if anyone bothered to ask me. All they had to do was sit there, look pretty, answer some questions or play silly games, and sing. I, on the other hand, was lost in an endless pile of media release forms for every news outlet to approve, combing through the Gustavo pre-approved questions the interviewers were going to ask the boys, keeping their refreshments well stocked so they never ran out of water and choked on a dry throat when they went to answer questions… My work is never-ending!

Definitely one of the worst days on this tour for me, though, I wouldn’t choose it over having to go back and rewrite Til I Forget About You. Speaking of, in my previous letter I forgot to mention a particularly important line that I keep repeating to myself whenever I find my thoughts unpleasantly flickering to Dak… Or at this point, to James.

I found a place where I can lose myself,

And just leave your memory on the shelf,

See? I’m fine, no, I don’t need nobody else.

The punctuation is subject to change, but for now, I’m quite certain I don’t need anyone else in my life. I’m fine just being Roxy for a while… Even if my thoughts often turn into Roxy and James.

Not to toot my own horn, but the song is very good, and I can’t wait to record it once we get back from tour. I think that’ll be a good point to mark my “getting over it” progress.

Something I forgot to mention about these interviews, that I now realize as we pull away from the Denver venue and off to Eureka, Missouri, is I’m actually learning so much about the band by sitting and listening in. They almost never talk about their lives before Hollywood, because the four of them have (as I learned today) known each other since they were four years old. From first meeting at a Pee-Wee hockey league game all the way to playing varsity hockey at MAHS, they’ve been with each other almost their entire lives. Most of the interviewers ask really good, clear questions, that lead the boys down a path that gets them talking and reminiscing on themselves - something they rarely speak about when the others are around. Today (among other things) I also learned Carlos is fluent in Spanish, Logan was really into ventriloquy in middle school, Kendall is allergic to kiwi, and James is the heir to the Brooke Diamond Cosmetics company.

I should have put two and two together on the last one, he’s insanely beautiful and the last name “Diamond” isn’t exactly very common, but remembering what he’s told me about his mom and now knowing she’s Brooke Diamond?? The Este Lauder of the Midwest?? accounts for a lot of his behavior.

A few years ago, there was a big scandal that hit the front page of all the Duluth papers, news stations, radio waves, etc., claiming that BDC’s top model, and Brooke’s husband, Blake Diamond, was caught having an affair with a woman half his wife’s age. On top of that being insanely disgusting, it was in the news for weeks, announcing the Diamond divorce, explaining the court hearings and who got what, all leading up to Blake and his girlfriend eloping to Vegas and getting married the minute he and Brooke were officially split.

What does that do to a budding teenager? Chew them up and spit them out a completely new person. No wonder James never talks about his parents, or his home(s). The only time I learned something about his family was after the dance when he told me his mom made him break up with his boyfriend and when we were back in Minnesota he vaguely told me his parents were separated.

God, I cannot imagine what that must have/still feels like for him. Knowing that he had Kendall, Logan, and Carlos to help him through it makes me feel better, though.

I think, among other reasons, that might have been why he helped get us back to Hollywood a few days before the big concert. Either returning home to his successful mother as a failure or returning home to stay with a cheater and his new wife…

Phew. That was a long one. Every time I send one of these I can feel the two of you mentally cursing me for my wishy-washy gushy James feelings - trust me, it’s just as exhausting for me to think I’m fine alone one day, then want him so badly the next. Please bear with me while I figure this all out.

Wish you were here,

Roxy

***

Eureka!

Somewhere in the middle of Kansas, Kendall woke me up from my lazy couch nap to tell me he wants to learn how to play the guitar.

“That’s great,” I said. “I’d love to teach you, but all my guitars are strung left-handed.”

Bless his heart, he cocked his head and asked, “Why does that matter?”

“Well. I’m left-handed. You’re not. It’s a completely different learning process.”

“Do you know how many hockey players play left-handed, even though they’re right-hand dominant?”

Of course, I don’t. But, in the small second I had to think about it, I realized that there are plenty of famous guitar players that do that too… kind of. Many left-handed guitar players just learn right-handed because left-hand guitar equipment isn’t produced near as much or to the same quality and standards as right-handed equipment!

Thankfully, my dad is left-handed too, so he knew where to get the proper things in order for me to play when I was little, but it was I who took it upon myself to learn how to restring a guitar to fit my own needs. When I was 12, there was this beautiful oak wood acoustic in the local music shop, but it was strung right-handed. The owner didn’t know how to restring it (claiming no one had ever asked him to before, but I just think he was lazy), so I convinced my dad to buy it, a pack of new strings, and a tool kit, and I took it apart, then put everything back everything completely opposite - worked like a charm, until I sold it a few years later to get my electric acoustic.

In all, I’m excited to teach Kendall but I’ll have to find the time in between my assistant duties and my own drum lessons. The request was a bit out of the blue, however, and I wanted to ask him why, but he was too busy buzzing to Logan about it after I told him yes. Maybe he’s trying to learn a skill that will set him apart from the other band members.

After tonight’s show, we’ve got another one tomorrow before another press day, then a stretch of three more shows back to back. It’ll be tiring, but at least we’re having fun. Playing shows is rewarding beyond measure, and hard for me to put into words, but the connection the band has to their audience is unmatched. The way they can make thousands of people get up and dance, sing, let loose… It’s a beautiful sight - one I’m so lucky to be able to witness almost every night.

Maybe you can find some clips on SnoobTube,

Roxy

***

Girls, I’m running out of clever greetings,

I AM SO TIRED.

Columbus, Ohio, along with being a boring city in the world, also happened to be the same place our press day was taking place - meaning we were there for two days too long. Then, we had our three-day tour stint.

On day one, one of our eighteen-wheelers containing half of the stage set up was late. So, guess who, on top of making sure the boys were situated in their green rooms and had everything they requested, had to assist with tech setup I knew nothing about, got to run the soundcheck almost completely alone, and explain to Gustavo the boys had to go on a few minutes later than anticipated :)

On day two, I learned more about the boys. Maybe I’m being dumb and petty, but I think it’s a bit strange that much of my knowledge of them is now coming from these interviews - they’re sharing important things, that I think as their friend I should have the right to have known about beforehand. They know I’ve been struggling to get good at the piano for months now and guess who I learned has been playing all his life? James. Would it have killed him to maybe offer a helping hand? In addition, I found out Logan’s favorite food is toast. Just… plain toasted bread and butter… Kendall’s dream pet, apparently, is a goat because he misses the one we rented at the School of Rocque so much and Carlos doesn’t think Antarctica is real. I wish I could’ve stopped him before he said that during a live interview, but you win some, and you lose some. I was too busy handling all the paperwork and helping the next news outlet set up to get the interviews done as quickly as possible to get in his way.

On day three, we made it to Clearfield, Pennsylvania, a cute town that runs along a beautiful river I discovered on a walk in the morning. Sometimes being cooped up in a bus all night gets old, so when the boys work out in the morning, I wander as far as I think I can before Gustavo and Kelly realize I’m missing. The show that night was great, but Kendall ripped his pants jumping off one of my amps, and everyone in the first few rows got to see his underwear. I’m not sure he’ll be living that one down for a while.

On day four, we rolled into West Allis, Wisconsin around 6 am, where we were promptly escorted off the bus and into a local radio station, who called Gustavo the previous evening and practically begged for a Big Time Rush live acoustic performance. So, Mick and Austin got to sleep in, while I grabbed my acoustic guitar and drowsily followed the boys into the studio, languishing in the familiar smell of Lake Michigan - So close to Lake Superior back in Duluth! We performed three songs, Big Time Rush, Stuck (of course…), and Any Kind of Guy acoustic. Honestly, my stage skills are getting better with each performance, and I think it’s because the guys make me feel so relaxed when we play together. Whenever I performed with Brand New Day, I was always trying too hard to impress Dani, and more importantly, Mag, so playing always took a ton of effort. But with Big Time Rush, I feel so at ease, and I’m able to let loose and have fun. The only thing that caught me off guard today was James derailing the interview before Stuck to dedicate it to “Any girl who feels like they’re invisible… Don’t worry, I see you.”

Dedicating a song you didn’t even write to a person it’s not even about? Barf. Those words keep rattling around in my brain and I wish I could kick them straight out, but I’ve been dwelling on them for days.

On day five, we took a ferry (!!) to Midland, Michigan, while our eighteen-wheelers had to take the long way around, through Illinois and Indiana. Since our stage equipment didn’t arrive until the later part of the day, I pulled out two of my guitars stored away in Bus 1 in order to give Kendall his first lesson at the venue. Since Carlos bunked with Logan and me the night before, the boys decided to switch buses for a few hours, which meant I had to deal with an insane amount of James' side eye as he went about making his breakfast in the small kitchen.

If he’s got a problem with me hanging around my friends, he’s no better than Dak and I’m certainly not going through that again. He kisses me a few times and now thinks he has some weird possessive thing over me? Absolutely not. I’m just so done with him, I don’t understand how just a month and a half ago we shared a journey that literally altered the course of our lives, and now, here he is, acting as though it meant nothing to him.

Maybe I need to get out of the celebrity dating pool - if this tour has taught me anything it certainly is the fact that all my friends are famous and I am not.

Yeah. What a downer of a letter this turned into,

Roxy

***

Send lots of caffeine and my giant stuffy puppy to Fairlea, West Virginia, please!

I’m too exhausted to write out a better greeting, so this letter begins with the truth. There were many times over the last three days I sat down to write this, but every day I ended up falling asleep in the middle. Last night, Logan had to physically remove the pen from my hand while I slept as I was apparently in danger of poking my eye out.

In three days we’ve been to Hamburg, New York, Indianapolis, Indiana, and Peru, Illinois. Another day without seeing the Big Apple, another day in a big city that makes me miss Los Angeles, and another day in a city where if the name and state weren’t written down on our call sheets I might be so tiredly deluded I think we’re in a different country.

Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James are natural-born performers. I, on the other hand, am starting to believe that I may not be cut from a similar cloth. Something inside of them keeps them on the go, go, go, and I would love to know just what it is that makes them tick. The only thing keeping me motivated right now is getting to hear the crowd sing along to my songs every single night. It sounds a bit cheesy to write out, but it’s true! To know all of our hard work writing, recording, and rehearsing, is paying off and reaching corners of the U.S. we didn’t even know existed! And that people are buying our album… So I’ll have a nice cushion of a retirement plan when I’m older…

That, and my lessons of course! Austin has been so cool about helping me learn the drums, and I think I’m getting pretty good even though I’ve only had a few moments of practice. That, and we even had enough time to work on our song more, which is surprisingly almost complete… That boy can write! My goal is to write a drum section for one of my songs all by myself. Normally, Gustavo is able to take my lyrics and guitar melodies and write in drums, bass, piano, or whatever else we think is necessary to execute our grand vision, so for once, I’d like to fill in a new instrument and save him some time which would probably also equate to saving him some time yelling at our other band members.

Guitar lessons with Kendall have been going well too, though I’m not sure he’s very fond of me as a teacher. I’ve struggled to put together little exercises for him to practice because I barely remember learning guitar myself. Maybe I can talk to my dad about it on our next call.

Oh! And Carlos and I invented a game today!

We call it Honk Bonk, and you play it exactly how it sounds. Any time a car in traffic honks, you bonk the closest person on the head with something near you. My weapon of choice, of course, is my journal, and the boys are already used to bonking from that, though someone did honk during Kendall’s lesson today… I was tempted but alas, he needs to stay pretty so he can date my best friend. And sell more albums.

I hope you’re both well, I can’t wait to get back home to see you,

Roxy

***

Panicking! I spent all of today panicking!

This morning, Logan and Kendall shook me awake around 3 am to tell me that it was James’ birthday. TODAY.

I had a few thoughts on this. 1. Why didn’t any of the band mention this until we were three hours into the day? 2. Where the hell am I supposed to get party supplies on a moving bus rolling into Fairlea, West Virginia? 3. How am I going to survive an entire day centered around the guy I’m doing my very best not to think about? 4. Is James mature enough to be the first of us to turn seventeen?

Thank God James was on the other bus because if he had heard the ideas Logan, Kendall, and I had in order to surprise James the minute we stopped at the next venue…

Here was what we came up with:

If you cut up little pieces of colored paper, it kinda looks like confetti. The colored paper in question? Three of the front and back covers of books Logan had brought and finished in the first part of the tour. Kendall had to physically restrain him as I did this.

I’m a songwriter - when in a pinch, write a song. The three of us quickly devised a little spin on the traditional happy birthday song to surprise James with on stage later that blends into the traditional song everyone knows. Hopefully, an entire stadium of people singing to him is a good enough gift.

We can take old tour itineraries from the previous towns, a Sharpie, and some of the bungee chords holding our equipment down during travel to make a HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMES banner.

The bus was stocked with enough items to make Oreo Fluff salad, thanks to the miracle that is pudding cups, but not a real cake… He seemed to enjoy it when he came to tell me we were going back to L.A. after a few hours in Duluth. I don’t have any green food coloring, however, so it was boring black and white.

A sub point - around 6 am I begged the bus driver, Henrietta, to let me use her phone and call a Fairlea local bakery and express order a cake to bring out on stage. I also managed to call the venue and ask them to pick up some cupcakes to be waiting in the green room when we arrived and put up any party supplies they had on hand.

It was exhausting, like most things on this tour I guess, but once we rolled into town everything had been squared away, our efforts were well worth it.

Did you know that when James smiles, like really smiles, he has the most adorable dimples that carve right into his cheeks?

A smile that makes me breathless. A smile that remained on his face all day as we surprised him with our homemade banner, confetti, and treats. A smile plastered on his face the entire show, especially when we surprised him with our song, cake, and the entire crowd sang him happy birthday.

When the show ended, the band freshened up and went to meet some fans out by the front of the venue, and I had to run back into the bus and record my journal entry and write this letter, as I currently am before they came back.

My journal entry contained the word “James” like 40 times.

GOD! He ignores me almost all of the tour, speaking to me only about the essentials or whatever's going on around us on our days off, I finally decide he isn’t into me and I should just chill out for a bit, and now I’m suddenly all about him again. Maybe it’s just because I’m around him literally every day… Maybe it’s because I felt a hint of (healthy! Definitely healthy!) jealousy when he looked at everyone singing to him on stage and in the crowd except for me… Ugh.

We’re on for another multi-day stretch of shows, so please forgive me for fewer letters as the days go on,

Roxy

***

Look I know I said I’d be sending fewer letters but I NEED to tell you guys this.

After arriving in Farmingville, New York, around 9ish in the morning, I was abruptly awoken to the sound of Gustavo yelling at the band about who knows what. Apparently, this pissed them off so much they came storming onto my bus, told me to get ready as fast as I could, and thirty minutes later we were sneaking out of the venue and into a taxi that drove us right into the heart of Manhattan.

We messed around the city for the ENTIRE DAY and Gustavo had no way of finding us since he had our phones. Finally, we got to be the tourists instead of the attraction, before getting back to the venue before the show started.

Once the taxi dropped us off right outside of Time Square, Logan had the brilliant idea for each of us to pick one thing we wanted to do, and do our best to complete them before the end of the day. The list is as follows:

Kendall wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building

Logan wanted to visit the Morgan Library

Carlos wanted to see Spider-Man

James (after loudly complaining we couldn’t see something on Broadway) wanted to take a sightseeing cruise around the bay to see the Statue of Liberty

I wanted to see the musical instrument display at the MET and I convinced everyone to join me for a lunch picnic in Central Park.

Today was literally perfect, though I did feel a bit bad about leaving Austin and Mick back at the venue to run the soundcheck without me.

Besides admiring the thousands of advertisements roving around the Square, the first thing we did was hit the Morgan Library. The architecture was just breathtaking and it was amazing to see the carefully curated collection of historical documents. They even had musical manuscripts and printed forms of music from nearly one hundred years ago… I wonder how a boy band in 1909 would look… Or if my journals will be on display in 2109… Scary!

Not as scary as the top of the Empire State Building, though!

It was so cold and windy up there, even in the middle of the summer. I practically had to cling to Carlos’ arm to feel even a little bit stable, but of course, he wanted to get right up to the very edge of the building and look straight down. Kendall and Logan wanted to join him (one to spit off the edge and the other to try and calculate how far away the second tallest building in NY was) so I got passed off to James. Would it have killed him to put his arm around me and tell me it would be alright? Jesus. He just stood there, silently looking off into the distance while I clutched at his arm. Message received: He isn’t into me.

The rest of the day was fun and I wanted to write more but now I’m a bit sad after writing that. All I really want to do is go to bed now; I’ll tell you about it when we meet again, I guess.

Roxy

***

Daddy,

Tour is hard. So hard. And I feel so stupid for thinking that I was cut out for this kind of thing. Songwriters are for the studio, not the stage. I’ve spent so much time around the guys I’m starting to go crazy. You and I always talked about traveling if we had the money, and let me tell you one day per city is hardly enough to even say that I’ve been here. It’s not cross-country exploration if I haven’t explored five minutes past the closest coffee shop because I can barely keep my eyes open without caffeine.

I’m constantly tired. My back hurts from sleeping on the couch. My fingers are so sore. My eyes are dry from the incessant spotlight lighting us up for thousands of people every night. The next person to ask me for something might get their head bitten off if they don’t say “please?”

Just because I’m an assistant doesn’t mean I get to be walked all over.

The applause is nice though, hearing everyone sing along to my songs even in parts of the country I’ve never even heard of… Maybe that’s enough to get me to Duluth.

I can’t wait to see you. Sorry for the depressing letter, I’m having a hard time being away from both of my homes.

Promise you’ll listen to the setlist before you see us?

I hope I’m making you proud,

Roxanne

***

Hi.

The shows in Lima, Ohio, and Falcon Heights, Minnesota were great. Our friends are just so talented. It was hard being so close to Duluth, and I invited my dad to the show last minute, but he wasn’t able to make it.

We’re driving to Essex, Vermont now - 13 hours into a 20-hour journey.

The weather out here has been awful, it’s been thunder storming nonstop, so we haven’t been making as many stops as we usually have. Just my luck I’m stuck with Logan and James, and I’ve been writing a song all day.

It’s a song for James’ invisible girls… More accurately, a song full of words I wish he would say to me.

Am I out of mind, or just invisible?

Anyway. It’s been extra hard to write because the two of them were sitting less than three feet away from me the entire time. They’re both so nosey, consciously or not and kept looking over at me. I could tell they wanted to ask me about it, but at least they were respectful enough not to.

It’s got a really beautiful guitar melody, but I’d love to get my hands on my keyboard back home because I have a cool idea for a backing track… Never thought I’d be excited to play the piano but here I am, itching to play it thousands of miles from home.

We play Boston, Massachusetts in a few days, and the boys kept talking about wanting to hit up a pizza place in the city that they visited during one of their hockey tournaments a few years ago. At this point, I’m just trying to get through the next 7 hours. That’s when we get to the next venue, though we have to take a day off from the show tomorrow. Not only is it Carlos’ birthday, but it’s the day of Hawk and Rebecca’s trial. Sweet, sweet seventeen spent reminiscing one of the worst moments of our entire lives. Whoo whoo.

In other depressing news, after coming to the realization that I like James, but he doesn’t like me, it’s been extra hard to be around him. Mostly I just hang out with Austin and beat out my frustration on his drum kit… The last 13 hours have been like hell. Every time James smiles, it makes me want to. His laugh rings in my ears, sending a jolt straight through my heart. Whenever he gets up to walk by me, it takes everything in me not to stare as he moves about the bus.

It’s exhausting… Having a crush on someone is supposed to be fun. I’m supposed to feel like I’m walking on air, and glow, and sparkle, and shine. Instead, I feel like shit.

Truly, I guess I don’t really know him like I thought I did. What happened to the always flirty, unserious, loverboy who took me on a date our first month in Los Angeles?

I think I blew my chance with him once I met Dak, and I think I hate myself for it.

Exhausted and missing home,

Roxy

***

Happy birthday, happy trial day,

I hope you’ll be pleased to know that Hawk and Rebecca will be going away for a long time. We tried to celebrate Carlos’ birthday with cupcakes at the venue, but no one had an appetite after our Skype trial. To try and lighten the mood, I played a few songs he showed me at the beginning of the tour on my guitar, but I could tell as he absently sang along it wasn’t really helping.

Though, in other news that I shouldn’t be happy about, James spoke to me today unprompted and asked if I was okay after my testimony. Apparently, I was speaking quite shakily… Which, yeah. I was fucking kidnapped and asked to recount it in front of a room full of people I don’t know, of course, I was shaky. But at least he was thinking about me.

Maybe he needs signs or cues or reasons to act or something… Weirdo.

Anyway, we’ll bring a cake out for Carlos during the show tomorrow and have the crowd sing for him. Hopefully, he’s in better spirits tomorrow.

This was a weird letter, I know. Life’s weird recently, but thanks for reading. Miss you two.

Roxy.

***

Carlos fucking Garcia has been reading my mail. I’m convinced of it! Because tonight, when the band did the little introduction of their musical accompaniment, Carlos introduced me, walked right up to me, planted to sweetest, wettest, loudest kiss onto my cheek, and told me he loved me in front of the whole crowd.

When I told him I loved him back, we got some “awwws” (mostly “boooos” that I’m choosing to ignore) and continued the show.

Then.

When the show ended.

James grabbed my hand, dragged me off towards the back door of the venue, onto some side street alley where we couldn’t hear the crowds of people leaving the show anymore, and asked me if I wanted to make out.

A reason to act! Carlos telling thousands of people he loved me was a reason to act!

So.

We made out in a dirty, smelly alley and I think it was the best night of my entire life… Besides the five seconds I’m pretty sure a rat touched my foot.

There is hope yet,

Roxy

P.S.

When I got back to the bus I was buzzing so bad I told Logan everything. That I liked James, that we kissed, that we kissed some more, that I think about him all the time, that I’ve written one and a half songs about him already.

I’m in so deep at this point… And all Logan did was grin at me - stupid, dumb grin - and say “Finally,” before heading off to his bunk to sleep.

Camille, I hate your almost-boyfriend and I’m drawing all over his face in Sharpie tonight.

***

Oops,

Not to leave you two on a cliffhanger but the last month of tour has been so insane I haven’t even had a minute to myself to write (letters or otherwise), think, or even just take a breather in a coffee shop in the middle of nowhere.

The rockstar lifestyle is hard to get used to… Hopefully, we budget more off days for future tours or I might go crazy.

To answer the question I know is on your minds: No. Nothing else happened with me and James, though he does actually sit down and talk to me now (even if it’s mostly work-related, I’ll take it). We toured all throughout most of the other states in the country, I’d write them all here but I lost track after Boston if I’m being honest. Though I do know that at one point we were in Phoenix, Arizona and Kendall accidentally said “Hello, Las Vegas!” to the entire stadium.

MSG was insane. Best venue I’ve ever been to, the best crowd we’ve ever had, and the second-best night of my life.

As I write to you now, we’re about to play our last show in Duluth, Minnesota, before our three-day journey home. I’ve got a bunch of silly string to prank the boys with on stage during their solo sets… They won’t even know what hit them!

My dad finally got to meet the guys, though I’m not sure he liked any of them but he was kind enough - but what father would like the four boys his daughter is best friends with? I have no idea why he keeps calling James “Jay” but whatever. After the show ended I snuck him out of the venue and showed him our buses, and trucks for stage set up, and let him meet Mick and Austin as well - Austin even performed his song for my dad… His first audience member!

Safe to say, he loved Austin’s number, but how he felt about everything else, he didn’t share on his face like normal. I like to think I’m pretty good at deciphering how my father feels at this point in my life, but he kept his expressions at bay as we walked around everything we had waiting for us outside. I hope it didn’t put him off or something, considering I know that being a musician was his dream, too. What he did say was: “You shared this bus with two boys?” and “Which guitars are you using, Honey Bun? You deserve only the best.”

Dads.

I also got to meet Logan and Carlos’ families! (Minus James’... I felt really bad for him that his parents weren’t there…) Logan’s moms were so sweet - overly doting on him, fixing up his outfit, practically smothering him with health facts and tips. I think one of his moms is a realtor, while the other is a doctor, which would explain Logan’s want to be a doctor himself. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s a pediatrician. She gave off the vibe she’d be amazing with kids. It must have been so wonderful to grow up in that household :)

Since I’d already met Carlos’ dad, Mr. Garcia was kind enough to introduce me to his wife and three daughters. Genetics work in mysterious ways, blessing each of the Garcia children with the same dark hair and alluring eyes. It was hard to tell sisters Maria, Lupe, and Alena apart, but after talking to them a bit I was able to find some differences. They all followed me on ScuttleButter, so maybe we’ll talk more in the future. I loved getting to know them! Mrs. Garcia and her son also share a lot of the same mannerisms - they’re both curious, caring, and just a bit ADHD. The two of them spent most of their time together with the girls, pointing out different things about the venue, sharing stories from their time away from each other, and the coolest part was their switching back and forth from English to Spanish depending on if they wanted their conversations to be overheard or not.

At one point I think they were talking about me (and James) but I can’t be sure. Maybe if I’d taken Spanish in school instead of French my freshman year…

I wish Mrs. Knight had been there, but Kendall and James kept themselves occupied by talking sports with my dad. For a bit, Dad and Kendall talked about guitars after mentioning that I was teaching him how to play, leaving James out of the loop, so I went over and struck up a conversation with him.

Normal. That’s what we are - or more accurately what our relationship is - though, I think he looks at me a bit differently now. There’s no evidence to that last statement, I just feel his eyes on me sometimes and it makes my chest flutter. I much prefer being friends (who made out) that are able to be around each other, than whatever his weird, “ignore Roxy” game was.

The show’s in 10, so we need to start walking to the stage!

I loved writing to you two, but I can’t wait to get back to talking face-to-face. I’m in dire need of a girl’s night.

See you soon (for real this time),

Roxy <3

A little change of pace before season two! Thanks for reading :) Support for this story has been overwhelming!

Since school is starting back up, I'm going to be switching back to posting every two weeks instead of every week. <3

Season two starts September 5th, but I'll do my best to post little one-shots and such on my tumblr, so check over there every once and a while :)

#thats all she wrote fic #big time rush #btr #james diamond #james maslow #kendall knight #kendall schmidt #logan mitchell #logan henderson #carlos garcia #carlos penavega

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audiovisualrecall · 1 month

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Instead of working on anything else or even writing the story, I spent most of the day again just working on the clan allegiances for my warrior cats/marvel AU. It's fun and feels like I'm getting something done, and it is good to know what characters are where, even minor characters to the actual story, bc I need to be able to refer to other cats not just the main ones. But it also feels like a waste of time. and I got to rewrite them multiple times to be as neat and organized as possible which is part of the fun but not necessarily necessary, you know? So part of that is going wait holdup it's 3pm and I've done Nothing else with my day besides helping change some stuff back to non-passover dishes, took out the garbage, and fed the cat (which I did late!).

Like... I might want to do laundry? Or go sit outside and enjoy the warm weather? Or watch the video on transferring indoor seedlings to outdoors and then use the containers I bought ages ago to start that process? Or work on the last 2 linearts for steph's book and maybe start doing the colors? Or work on some other art like a painting? Or try my hand at mermay this year?

But no... i did the allegiances and now it's 3pm and that means I get like 2 hours to do anything else with my day before we have to start planning dinner. And there's too many things I could/should/need/want to do and I don't Want to pick just one. None of them feel like the right choice. Or they'll be too complicated/fussy to setup like for digital art I have to move the whole laptop+tablet setup to the table and futz with all the cords and the easel thing I put the tablet on. Plus if I work on that I won't do Anything Else I won't be able to pause or take a break or I'll take a break and never go back to it. And I'll have to move it all off the table tomorrow or Friday for friday night dinner. And I probably should do laundry but idk if ma has anything she wants to add to whatever load I'll do and she and dad are at the doctor right now and I can't wait and do nothing till they get back but if I start anything without starting laundry first I won't remember to do the laundry/won't want to stop what I'm working on to do it.

Remembered another thing to do which is reply to messages on etsy and make more of some stickers and put things back on stock that have sold out. It should really alert you when stuff goes oos if it's one item in a listing of multiple items, imo. Need to do but also complicated and need the laptop for it which means moving it with the tablet anyway too, and then maneuvering the tablet to be out of the way, bc I don't want to have to unplug it. What I need is an office with a desktop computer, or this laptop set up as one, with the tablet stationed next to that where it can stay permanently, and then a smaller laptop or this one I guess to use for non-specifically-art stuff that I can sit wherever with it. But that's not achievable right now despite having the extra room, bc idk how to make the space work. There's a lot of stuff in there, and I want everything in one place but I also like to work at the table sometimes too, and I have some art stuff in my room and idk if it should stay there or what, and idk what I need the desk in my room for when I don't use it and dont want to for the most part. I like my room to be for displaying my collections, for keeping my books in my bookcase, for clothing obvs, and for sleeping/relaxing in bed. And for some storage I guess. Idefk. Would I even use the office if I made the other room into one? I want to set up 2 desks into an L shaped one facing the door to the bedroom, I want better lighting, I want a space for my easel/for painting, and storage for artwork and supplies, and a place for etsy related stuff, and I also have craft stuff, and bookbinding stuff, and my b+w laser printer for fanbook printing......... anyway I can't do anything about it right now, I would need like a full day just to try tackling that, possibly a few days. Let alone touching on the mess that is my room at the moment, or the crawl space situation which is a mess...

I also need to take some books out of the new bookcase and put in the last (moveable) shelf. Dad gave it to me ages ago and idk if I can find the right pegs for the shelf anymore oops. I didn't do it then bc I'd put my books in it temporarily. Idk there's just So Much and some of it is entangled in or complicated by something else that needs to be done and it's frustrating.

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valenhell · 3 years

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From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites.

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict. - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no.

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending.

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic.

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet.

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will.

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes.

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers.

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings.

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it.

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not.

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised.

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute.

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable.

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it.

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay.

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it.

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

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applerubyy · 3 years

Text

Ciao Adios

Summary: When you find your boyfriend cheating on you yo decide to expose him in the pettiest way you can think of.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader (some Loki x Reader if you squint)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Cheating and cursing (I think that’s it?)

A/N: Hi! So this is my first time writing and posting anything here so if its terrible please tell me nicely :). This is some AU where everyone lives and all is happy ok? Also english is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Anyway, if it turns out that some of you like it I think I’d be willing to do a part 2 if you like. Hope you enjoy it! <3. Btw, the gif is not mine so credit to whoever made it.

Crack. That’s the sound of your heart breaking, ripped to pieces in just a few seconds. And no, you were not exaggerating. Seeing your boyfriend kissing someone else while taking off their clothes would do that to a person. And in his office of all places.

How did you not see that coming? They had a lot in common and they did spend a lot of time together but you were just so naïve thinking that he was the most trust-worthy person ever that you looked the other way and believed him when he told you she was “just a friend”.

Just a friend my ass you thought as you calmly walked to your room. No running, that would draw attention to you and you didn’t need that. No crying either, because once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop. Walking down the hallway and taking the elevator to your floor feels like it takes forever.

Time is funny that way. It has that annoying tendency to slow down or speed up at the worst times. Like when you were in college and the clock seemed to literally stop, you would look at the time and it was 10:20 am and check again after what felt like half an hour for it to be 10:25 am. Or like when you are having fun with your friends at a club and you see it’s 12:30 but when you look again a few minutes later it’s 2:40. Right now it feels like the former, time seems to have slowed down. Maybe Dr. Strange did something to it? No, that’s stupid, he wouldn’t play with time that way.

Finally the elevator pings open and you rush to your room. Well, it’s not only your room anymore. You share it with him and everything is a reminder of what you just saw. The art supplies on the desk by the window, the famous shield leaning against the wall near the door, the messy bed where you sleep together every night …

And every single thing brings tears to your eyes until finally, the dam breaks and you let the tears fall down. You bring your hand to your mouth to muffle a sob that brings you to your knees. Crying is the only thing you can do right now because your brain is stuck on a loop. All you can see is Steve kissing her, unbuttoning her shirt with one hand while the other grabbed her ass. And all you can hear are their moans, Sharon’s whimper when he touched her and his groan as he did so.

And now you are full on crying and choking on air because that scene keeps replaying itself over and over no matter how much you want it to stop. And you do, Gosh you do because there is so much your heart can take and this is too much. It shatters you in more ways than one. It makes you question everything you thought you knew about him, about her, about your relationship and about yourself.

You remember the first time you met him. You were already in college and looking for an internship. Luckily you happened to be the niece of the one and only Pepper Potts. And who wouldn’t want to work near Earth's mightiest heroes? You sure did. You were studying journalism and communications in New York and working with the Avengers was the ultimate dream, one that was about to come true.

Your first day was uneventful, it consisted mainly of coffee runs, delivering files and passing messages along. That was until your third coffee run where you ran straight into a wall, well actually it wasn’t a wall but it felt like it. The coffee spilled everywhere, on your clothes and his, and you were going to fall on your butt if it wasn’t for him grabbing your arms to steady you. Imagine your surprise when you looked up to see Captain America himself.

And that’s the moment your love story started. It seemed like something straight out of a romantic comedy and you loved it. It started with flirting, a date and then another, him asking you to be his girlfriend and finally asking you to move in once you graduated. It felt like a fairytale.

Tony wasn't very happy about you and the Capsicle but he saw how happy you were so he tried to be happy too. Tony was your uncle even if you didn’t share any blood. Growing up you would visit your aunty Pepper in New York and he was always around, you even stayed at his house when Pepper and him had to work. So, you two became really close even before he became Iron Man and started dating your aunt.

The same thing happened with Rhody. Your close relationship with Tony meant you were close to him too, seeing as he was one of the most important people in his life. Rhody treated you like his niece and was the only one he didn’t make fun of which you took as the ultimate compliment.

So those three you knew before you started working at the compound and before Steve. But once you started working there you met the rest of the Avengers. Being Pepper and Tony's niece and Steve's girlfriend meant they all wanted to get to know you.

You met Bruce Banner, the Hulk, and you became really close. But that was thanks to his close relation with Tony and all the time you spent with him working on his social media presence to make sure people saw him as more than just the green monster who smashes things. After a while of working there they promoted you and now you manage the Avengers social media.

Nat and Wanda became your best friends from the moment you met. You just clicked and hung out as much as possible, being the only girls on the team meant they were really happy to have another female added to the mix. As for Vision, he liked you because Wanda did, simple as that.

Bucky and Sam were the funniest people ever, their constant bickering always brought a smile to your face and they welcomed you with open arms. Happy that their friend had finally found someone to be with.

Thor and Clint were like the fun uncles you got to see every once in a while. The God of Thunder was like an excited puppy and would hug you till you couldn’t breath every time he came to Earth and Clint would joke around with you and FaceTime you when he was with his kids because they loved you (“best babysitter ever” that called you).

You met Peter when he started working for your uncle. He was a sweet kid and your love of memes, vines and pop culture made you instant friends. He would ask you for advice on girls and tell you science jokes.

But we all know not all fairytales have a happy ending and this one definitely didn’t. You’re feeling so many things at once. There’s anger, sadness, jealousy and something else you can’t put your finger on. You keep crying and are unable to move from your kneeling position on the floor. Checking the clock you realize you’ve been on the floor crying for an hour so you stand up.

Taking a shower seems like the best thing to do, your head is pounding and your face is all puffy. As you shower it hits you, that other feeling swirling around is inevitability. In a way you always thought he was too good for you, you always thought he would eventually get tired of you and trade you for someone else.

It just hurt too much that it was her, the woman he shared so much with. The niece of Peggy Carter, his first love. An agent of S. H. I. E. L. D. Someone who risked their life for the world like he did. Someone prettier. Someone better than you.

Yeah, you were definitely on a self-pity party. But you needed to be miserable for a while, to cry it all out, to hurt so that you could move on to the next stage of grief: anger. And when that came, there was no stopping you.

You weren’t a mean person, or a petty one. You gave everyone countless opportunities and forgave way too easily so you never really got angry. But when you did, when you said enough is enough, yeah, you better watch out. That could be the meanest bitch you ever met and she had no mercy.

So you got out of the shower, dried yourself and started getting ready. Tony was throwing yet another party about who knows what and you were not missing it. You liked parties, they were the perfect excuse for wearing pretty dresses and putting on make up. And tonight you were going all out.

Your inner bitch was concocting a plan and you were going with it.

You hear the door open and prepare yourself to put on the best acting of your life. You take a deep breath and in the sweetest voice you can muster say: “Steve is that you babe?”

“Yeah doll it’s me” you hear him say. A few second later he pops into the bedroom and gives you a peck on the lips as you continue with your makeup.

“How was your day?” Steve asks as he takes off his clothes, probably to take a shower. “I missed you today, i went by your office but you weren’t there” he says with a small frown between his eyes. You could stare at his blue eyes forever but snap out of it when you remember what he did.

“Oh not much, i left work earlier to get ready for tonight” you answer. Shit your work. You really did leave like that, but after tonight hopefully they’ll understand. “You should start getting ready, the party starts in thirty minutes”.

He smiles at you and tells you he’s going to take a quick shower before getting dressed. He goes to the bathroom and you feel like breaking the mirror but instead take a few deep breaths and remind yourself he’s getting what he deserves later on. With that in mind you finish applying you makeup and smile at yourself, you look good. Moving on to your hair you decide to do some loose waves and that’s it, you really don’t know how to make those complicated updos.

Steve gets out of the shower and starts putting on his suit. Men really do have it easier you think to yourself when you see all the work you had to do and he just showers and that’s it.

You take your dress out of the closet and admire it. It really is beautiful. It has a deep plunging neckline that shows a lot of cleavage and is skin tight with a slit on one side. The fact that it is silver with sequins makes it even better. Pepper helped you pick this dress.

You put on the dress and admire yourself in the mirror. You look good. Behind you, you hear a whistle and turn around to see Steve watching you lust in his eyes. He comes closer and grabs you by the waist, pulling you to him.

“You look stunning” he says as he wets his bottom lip. “I can’t wait to take it off of you when we get back”. Lying cheating bastard.

“Can't wait” you lie as you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him. This is just a kiss goodbye you tell yourself. One last kiss before he’s out of your life and probably runs to her. Tears threaten to fill your eyes but you hold them down. Not now.

You break the kiss when the need to breathe is too strong. Grabbing his hand you start walking towards the door and say: “Come on, we’re already late”.

——————————————————————————

The party had already started once you walk in and in true Tony fashion it is elegant and extravagant. Everyone is there: S. H. I. E. L. D. agents, the Avengers themselves, politicians and a few famous people.

You and Steve walk to the bar and order drinks. A whiskey for him and a strawberry daiquiri for you, yes you are that basic but hey, it tastes awesome. He offers you his arm and with drinks in your hands you start looking for your friends. A lot of people stop you on the way, nobody wants to miss an opportunity to talk to Captain America.

One thing, or rather on person, catches your attention: Loki. He’s sitting on one of the cushions alone with a drink in his hand. It’s weird to see him there. Sure, he was redeeming himself for what he did in 2012 and Thor said he was doing better but he rarely left Asgard (he “hated mortals”) and when he did come to Earth it wasn’t for a party.

As if he could feel you staring he turns his head and locks his eyes with yours. You weren’t going to lie, he was gorgeous. He was incredibly tall, had those charming green eyes and was actually funny (but you’d never admit that to anyone). But you were in love with Steve and never saw him as anything more than Thor's hot brother. And everyone in the Avengers was hot so that’s not saying much.

You turn away from him and see Nat and Wanda on the dance floor and you tell Steve you’ll see him later and to go find his friends. He’ll need them after tonight you think to yourself. You greet the girls and start dancing with them, for a moment forgetting about what you saw today and putting Loki out of your mind.

The three of you decided to take a break and order some more drinks. Once at the bar Wanda orders for you and when your drinks arrive you go back to the dance floor. You spend the next few hours dancing, talking to your friends and pretending that nothing's wrong. Talking to Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Hugging Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong. Kissing Steve and pretending that nothing's wrong.

The fact that Sharon is at the party doesn’t help at all. When you see her talking or touching him you feel like you’re gonna lose it but you remain strong. You remind yourself of your plan and try to keep them out of your mind.

There’s a small stage at the far end of the room and you see your uncle Tony step on it and grab the microphone.

“Hello everyone and thank you for coming to another one of my amazing parties. I hope you are having a good time and taking advantage of the free bar over there” he points to the other side of the room and continues, “Now for what we have all been waiting for: karaoke! And yes, i want everyone to sing something because that’s the whole point of this. I'm looking at you Manchurian Candidate, you’re singing”.

With that he gets off the stage and passes the mic to Sam who decided to sing a Marvin Gaye song. He’s pretty good actually but you can’t fully concentrate on him because your mind is going a thousand miles an hour for what it’s going to happen later.

More people go up and sing their songs and you applaud when they’re done. Nobody is talking much, they're all too busy either laughing at the others performance, drinking or actually listening to the songs. You’re sitting with Steve to your right, Bruce to your left and the rest of the Avengers nearby. You’re your own little group.

It’s finally your turn and as you walk to the stage you can hear your friends whistling and cheering you on. Once you’re up on the stage you choose the song and start singing.

Ask you once, ask you twice now

There's lipstick on your collar

You say she's just a friend now

Then why don't we call her?

So you wanna go home with someone

To do all the things you used to do to me

I swear, I know you do

Used to take me out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when I ring you up

Don't know where you are

'Til I hear her say your name

Used to sing along when you played guitar

That's a distant memory

Hope she treats you better than you treated me, ha

As you continue singing you get more and more confident and take the mic. You walk off the little stage and over to your friends while dancing and you can see them smiling, clapping and having fun. They have no idea how much i mean all of this you think. You look at Steve and he’s completely oblivious. Good, you want to take him by surprise. You arrive at your little circle of friends and start singing the chorus.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

You keep dancing and go back to back with Wanda who’s also singing along. You then turn to Nat and she grabs your hand and makes you do a little spin.

After three, after four times

Why did I bother?

Tell me how many more times

Does it take to get smarter?

Don't need to deny the hurt and the lies

And all of the things you did to me

I swear, I know you did

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You go up to Tony and he starts dancing around you busting out some dad moves. You laugh and keep on singing and dancing.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her

Kissing and having fun

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (no, no, no, no)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

And now you take her out in your fancy car

And make out in the rain

And when she rings you up

She know where you are

But I know differently

Now she sings along when you play guitar

Making brand new memories

Hope you treat her better than you treated me

You walk back to the stage as you sing and step up. You put the mic back into place and sing the last part of the song.

I'm onto you, yeah you

I'm not your number one

I saw you with her (with her)

Kissing and having fun (and fun)

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done (I'm done)

Ciao adios, I'm done (you get on with your life, I'll get on with my life)

Ciao adios, I'm done

If you're giving her all of your money and time

I'm not gonna sit here wasting mine on you, yeah, you

Ciao adios, I'm done

When you’re done people are clapping and cheering and you look to your friends to see them all smiling. You look at everyone and make a little mock bow and when you straighten you see Loki sitting on the same couch as before. But this time he’s looking at you and he’s laughing, not smiling and cheering but actually laughing.

You look back at your friends and say “Thank you, thank you” with a smile on your face. You continue , “I wanted to dedicate this song to my boyfriend Steve” you point at him.

“In case it wasn’t clear enough, i wanted to tell you that i saw you with Sharon”. You could hear a pin drop. No one was talking and all eyes were on you. This is what you wanted, to humiliate him as much as he did you. And what better way to do it than publicly? Oh but you weren’t done.

You could see Steve's face going pale and nobody knew where to look, if at you or at him. Tony look ready to murder him as did Rhody, Pepper, Peter and Bruce. Thor, Clint and Vision looked shocked. But Bucky, Sam, Nat and Wanda looked guilty.

Your heart breaks a little more when you realize they knew. You can’t really blame Bucky and Sam for not telling you, they were Steve's friends after all. But you thought the girls were your friends, that they would have told you. Apparently you overestimated that friendship.

You keep on smiling and continue “So… I’m breaking up with you. Hope she was a good fuck and wasn’t uncomfortable with the fact that you were once in love with her aunt”. You do a dramatic pause and make a little disgusted face. “Anyway, if I’m lucky i´ll never see you again. Have a great life!”

And with that, you walk off the stage and make your way to your friends. Steve is rooted to the spot and his face is red with embarrassment. You walk up to him, look him straight in the eye and give him an evil smile. He gulps and opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something and then closes it. He does is two more times and still nothing comes out.

You turn to your group and look at Wand and Nat, who can’t seem to be able to look you in the eye. You sigh and say: “Who want enemies when they can have you as their best friends right?”. They look up then and start talking. Telling you how sorry they are and to please forgive them. You raise your hand to silence them and they do.

You go to your aunt and uncle who look like there should be smoke coming out of their ears and say: “I’m gonna stay in a hotel for the night, can’t stand to be here anymore”. Tony scrunches his eyebrows and look at you like you’re crazy.

“Hell no. You’re staying here. We can find him another room to sleep in but you’re not leaving. If anyone’s leaving is Mr. Star-spangled over there” he practically screams the last part as he points at Steve.

You take a deep breath and hug him. It takes him by surprise but he puts his arms around you. “I appreciate it uncle Tony but i can’t stay at the compound, it just hurts too much” you say as you let go. Turning to your aunt you hug her as well and say: “Thank you for everything but I quit”.

The moment those words leave your mouth everyone starts talking at the same time telling you how crazy you are and to think about it. You just smile at them and tell them you already made up your mind. “I'm gonna go pack a bag and ask Happy to take me to a hotel nearby. Please make sure he doesn’t follow” you say as you point to a still red-faced Captain America.

With that you turn around and leave. The room is silent for a few seconds before you hear your friends all screaming at Steve. You look around for a second and notice that Loki is staring at you with a smirk on his face. When you look him in the eye he raises his glass at you ant takes a sip.

You give him a small smile and walk through the doors towards the elevator.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america imagine #avengers #avengers imagine #loki x reader #loki imagine #tony stark #steve rogers x y/n #captain america x y/n #steve rogers fanfiction

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thismaydestroyme · 3 years

Text

Little Did I know Pt. 2

summary: in this short story, harry is famous, and he moved into a town during the summer to relax and potentially write some new songs for his upcoming album. i included some song lyrics from different amazing artists, and i pretended that harry and y/n wrote it.

author’s note: i wrote the beginning of this two months ago me being lazy i picked up where i left off because i’m too lazy to read through this. so if there’s any major fuck ups then…. i did warn you that i’m incompetent

word count: 3165

“I’m a SLAVE FOR YOU!” Y/N shouts out, and little did you know Harry was front and center watching your trainwreck of a performance.

Harry did a whole french inhale without breaking eye contact with you. “I really wanna dance tonight with you.” Y/N hears Brittany playing in the background which you pause the music, to see what Harry would say about your little ‘performance.’

“Really? A slave? don’t you think it’s pretty dramatic don’t ya think?” Harry says, raising one of his eyebrows. You know he’s just playing around, but you coudn’t help feeling embarrassed how he fucking witnessed… that. You don't want Harry to know that you’re embarrassed, so you did the next best thing.

“That fucking snake was huge. Did you know she was holding an Albino Burmese Python? I bet MTV wasn’t expecting that. Do you think MTV got filthy rich from that performance? Everyone tuned in for that performance and till this day it’s still the most talked about.” You ramble and spew out random information you bet Harry couldn’t care two shit about.” Harry has a smirk on his face, you bet he was enjoying you looking like a damn idiot.

You start profusely apologizing until Harry interrupts you, “Do you want to come over?” He says all nonchalantly and walks away without you even agreeing. You’re all stunned and weren't able to even say one single word or even move your two feet. Harry doesn’t need to turn around to see you not moving, “C’mon weirdo, don’t act all shy with me now.” He threw back.

“Fuck.” You whisper, but your feet finally start to move and your feet are heading straight to Harry.

Harry turned his head and started to smirk, but he kept walking which had you feeling some nerves building up in your stomach. You’re not scared per se, just you’re going to Harry Styles house. This is normal. This is fine. This is just a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Cool.

When you finally get to his entrance Harry is already inside and he disappears somewhere because you don’t see him. You hesitantly walk inside and shut the door behind you. When you turn around you couldn’t help, but notice the disarray this house is covered in. Your mouth gape opened, but you immediately brought your hands to cover up how shocked you are. You couldn’t help but gawk at Harry’s place. There’s a big pink couch in the center of the room which is covered in boxes and clothes. There’s a TV on the floor which doesn’t seem to be plugged in because you don’t see it even plugged in. You try not to be too judgy because he did just move in, so what do you expect? Harry having his life all sorted out in a span of a couple of weeks?

You almost missed the nice white fluffy carpet that’s underneath the couch. Even though Harry’s place is a disaster, you can envision what Harry is planning on doing when he has his stuff all situated. In the back of your mind you hope he might even invite you back if he does a ‘welcoming party.’

Before you could even investigate more Harry walks back in with two bottles of water in his hand. He’s already drinking out of one of them, so he handed the one that hasn’t been opened to you. You reach your hands over to grab it.

“This isn’t safe for the environment.” You states while unscrewing the cap.

“Well.. you belting out to Britney is an endangerment to our society, so I guess we both got the short end of the sticks.”

You immediately start drinking your water because you didn’t have your next rebuttal. You start scanning the room and hoping it’ll have your heartbeat settle down because you can feel it through your chest. Harry moves from his spot and starts taking boxes off the couch and to make some room for the both of you. He had to take down three boxes, so you could both sit comfortably.

Harry walks over to you, but you freeze. Harry was pleased knowing he had you all flustered. It was one of Harry’s turn ons. Harry sits and brings his arms draping on the back of the couch which would have you being in his arm if you decide to sit right there. A couple of seconds of you contemplating you walk towards Harry and hesitantly sit down.

“I’m not going to bite.” he whispers in your left ear. Feeling his breath in your ear made you slightly clench your thighs together, hoping Harry doesn’t notice. But knowing your track record he probably did notice.

You try to come up with a conversation starter that hopefully doesn't hold all the spotlight on you. You look down at her close water bottle and scrambling for something in her head.

“Now you’re shy. The last time I checked up you were coming for my head after that mishap with your dog earlier.”

“You deserved it. You were attacking Cosmo, so yeah. I was in fact coming for your ass.” You glance your eyes to Harry. You’re overly protected over Cosmo. Cosmo is your life.

Harry gave you a smirk. He couldn’t help but to admire your bluntness. He barely comes across people who lit a fire inside of him. They always try to please him because he is a celebrity, and people just want to please him- which he doesn’t mind, but he does wish they sometime bites back. Having you in his presence he doesn’t want to let you go just yet, little did he know, he wants to get to know you more.

“What do you do, Y/N besides piercing people’s eardrums and being a dog mom.”

“Ummm.. that’s a loaded fucking question. But you being Harry fuckin’ Styles I guess I have to come up with something to make myself more interesting and less… chaotic. Well I’m a 21 years old who doesn’t have anything to offer to this world. I live my life accepting I’ll probably be working at Newbury Comics. And on top of that I love music, but I’ll be considered unqualified because I have no talents, and all I could do is muster up some mediocre lyrics that I have stored in my notes app.”

Harry didn’t break any eye contact when you were summarizing your sad life. That created a pit in your stomach because you never experienced anything that could ever compare to Harry’s tense gaze.

Harry never encountered anyone in the span of meeting them baring their skin to him. He couldn’t help, but feel some sort of pride knowing he created a space for Y/N to be able to let your hair down and express herself in full detail. He feels more drawn to you because he knows what you’re feeling. The unknown is a scary thing to feel, but you’re doing that with grace without you even realizing it. Just accepting reality is the biggest thing to acknowledge, and you’re doing just that.

“What do you have on your notes? Could you even help me write my next album.” Harry shrug glances his eyes away from you.

You feel a surge of worries entering her body. You don't know what’s going on, and you don't like it. “What?! You barely know me. My so-called ‘lyrics’ could be shitty and cliche. What are you getting out of this? My humiliation?” You don't like being taken as a joke, but that’s all you could come up with this peculiar interaction. Harry sees a naive little girl.

“You’re pretty,” Harry says. And that’s all he said. He got up and walked out the room. You're left on the couch alone, and not understanding what he just said. Just a few minutes ago he asked for your help, and now just a few seconds ago he said you’re pretty. What kind of fuckery is this?!

You immediately got up and walked to whatever room you could find Harry in. It wasn’t that hard because Harry is in the kitchen.

“Harry! I need you to explain. Talk to me, please.” You say while running her hands down your face. You thanked yourself for not wearing any makeup.

“Uh, you beg. I like that Y/N,” Harry chuckles and closes his fridge door.

“Well…. I do find you attractive and I see a potential in you. I might be wrong or I might be right. There’s nothing wrong with finding out and seeing what you have.” Harry says. Harry isn’t afraid to look people in the eyes, but you sure do. You’re debating if you should take this risk. Harry did say there’s nothing wrong with finding it out.

“Fine. I will take that jump with you.” You say unsurely, but you have some faith in him and a little bit in yourself.

“Good. Now can you stop being tense and enjoy yourself. You’re in fact talking to the one and only Harry Styles.”

“Shut up, doofus.”

One month Later

After Harry made the deal with you a month ago, you guys have been surprisingly working together quite nicely. You guys wrote one complete song, and that song is now called, “Dirty Little Secret.” You can’t wait to hear Harry sing that song with his band because you’re pretty sure it will fit the band theme for his upcoming album. Harry doesn’t want to limit himself, but he does have an idea to make his third album mostly rock.

Harry didn’t expect you to be a fuckin’ genious. Watching you in the corner jotting down lines in your beat up notebook with a pen in your hand made you start feeling someway. You always appreciate the art seeing people enjoy what they do, but Y/N is truly gifted because she has no experience with producing music. One long night two weeks ago you guys were sleep deprived because there was a week where you guys would stay up all night to write and you would stop when you saw the sunrise. Y/N found her love in music because of her father. He was a huge factor that made her who she is today. There was substance in her when she would talk about the accent in a song, how she would bounce that off with the bar while you would play the instruments. Y/N is truly a force to be reckoned with and you couldn’t help but wonder how it would be like to have her on tour with you.

Y/N never felt more alive after her father passed. It’s like Harry woken something inside of her. You never thought you would experiment with music with Harry Styles, the artist for this generation. You’re not going to lie that you would watched all of his interviews and he would talk about when he write songs he has no boundaries, and it’s crazy he upheld that ideology because Harry made sure you know that there’s no right or wrong way, the only way is to play around and see how it goes.

“I’m going to get some water. Do you want some?” You ask Harry dropping your notebook on the coffee table that’s covered in rolled up papers and a lot of take out boxes.

“Yeah. Thanks.” He says. You nod at him, and you got up to grab two cups of ice water for you both.

Your notebook page flipped to a new page and Harry couldn’t help but notice to see “Bubblegum Bitch” written in all caps. Harry got intrigued, so he happily kicked the table so the book could fall, so his excuse could be, “Y/N it fell.”

Harry kicked the coffee table with his big ass feet and the notebook happily splat on the floor. Harry reached for it and started flipping pages to see that title again, and it took him a couple of tries to find it.

“Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll

Don't care if you think I'm dumb, I don't care at all

Candy bear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored

I'm the girl you'd die for”

Harry couldn’t help but not try to read all the lyrics. He wants to digest it all, but he knew Y/N could walk in any second. He couldn’t help but make a small gasp when he skimmed to the part of the song that had him falling on his knees

“I'm gonna be your bubblegum bitch.”

“Harry, what are you doing?” Y/N says timidly. On the outside Y/N is calm and cool and collective, but on the inside you’re shaking and screaming. Your songs are attended only to you, not for other eyes to see. You’re still not confident with your writing abilities when it comes to songs for yourself, but knowing your idol probably read more than one line of your song is having you want the ground to swallow you up.

“I’m not going to tiptoe around you and pretend Y/N. Bubblegum Bitch is amazing, fuck maybe fucking brillant Y/N. Shit.” Harry says he looks at you but goes back down to your notebook flipping pages after pages.

You’re stuck where you’re standing. Feeling the condensation of two cups of water you’re currently holding is the only concept you’re able to maintain.

Did Harry say that he likes your songs? Did he say brilliant? You’re not able to speak, all you’re able to do is walk up to the coffee table, drop the cups down and grab your notebook from Harry's grabby hands and collect your belongings. This is too much. You feel too much. You simply can’t right now.

Harry sees you picking up your stuff and shoving your notebook and pens in your purse you bring every time you visit him. Harry couldn’t help, but feel bad that he could possibly make you feel uncomfortable.

Harry stands up and starts walking up to where you are putting the last thing in your bag, “Y/N I’m sorry if me going through your stuff made you angry, but I couldn't help it Y/N. What I read was amazing, you’re amazing.” Harry hurrys out his words because he felt if he didn’t say it fast enough you would vanish.

You’re trying to hold back your tears because it’s getting too much for you. The last time somebody read your stuff was your father, and right now you feel like you’re betraying the intimate moments you had with him. He was the one you would share your songs first with him. Now that he’s gone, you couldn’t put yourself out there to have someone else read it. You turn back around and you try to give a smile to Harry.

“It’s okay, I- I just have to go. I’m sorry. We can talk later.” You push past Harry to make it to the front door, but you feel someone hand on your wrist so you immediately stop.

“Y/N, I can’t have you leave, when I know that you’re not okay. Can you please talk to me? Please?” There’s a hint of sadness in Harry. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave him without having the answer he’s yearning for.

You turn around and there’s Harry. His green eyes are pleading with yours, and you couldn’t help, but do what Harry is asking you to do.

“Okay, I don’t want pity. Okay? Tell me you understand.” You ask Harry because the last thing you want from him is sympathy.

“I promise Y/N. Would you mind if we sit down?” You nod your head and he walks you back with his hand in your hand. You both couldn’t help but feel some sort of palse running inside you both while holding each other's hands. It’s something both of you guys can’t simply forget.

You got to the couch and you both sat down, no longer holding hands. You adjust yourself so you can face him. “Okay. My father died a couple of years ago and he was the only one I let read my stuff first. After he passed I never showed anyone my stuff because it would feel like I’m replacing him. I’m not mad that you read my stuff- I was just surprised, and I couldn’t help it but feel sadness creeping over me. Once again, I’m not angry at you, I’m just adjusting to a new milestone I just crossed without me not realizing it.” You say, and you’re hoping Harry doesn’t say, “Oh I’m sorry” because you’re sorry to.

“Well, I’m not sorry for your loss,” Harry says and you couldn’t help, but smile and laugh. “but I’m not sorry that I read it. You have something Y/N and I know you told me you haven’t had any experience in music industry, but fuck that. You have passion and I feel that every time we write something together in the past month, I don’t think I'll be able to forget about you when the summer is over.” Harry says. There was so much sincerity in what he just said.

You thought it was all one sided because you felt so much being with Harry. You felt you were finally seeing a rainbow you hadn’t seen in a very long time. Harry brings so much out of you that you. Harry was always there when you were scared to take the first step. Him being there with you made it less scary because he was there every step of the way.

Harry didn’t expect he would’ve met someone this summer who would make such an impact on him. Harry thought he would do a lot of hooks up, go to parties and write for the entirety of the summer. But the universe had something planned for him. He met Y/N. He didn’t want to tell Y/N he that he found his first and only love, but he didn’t want to scare her. She could probably feel the same way or she only saw him as a friend but neither of them were ready for that big leap of faith. Even Y/N knew Harry is someone she couldn’t live without because he brings something out of you that you never felt in your entire life and that was courage and faith.

Y/N met her faith. Only time could tell if faith would lead Harry and Y/N the soulmate they both were looking for.

“Harry, I don’t think I could possibly forget about you.” Y/N whisper because you felt if you used your normal voice the bubble you guys created would shatter within seconds.

Faith is a silly thing because faith could have you longing for something that’s impossible to grasp or faith could have you leaving you vulnerable, but that vulnerability could unlock something you never dreamt was even possible.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles concept #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #thismaydestroyme #thismaydestroyme harry styles #harry blurb #harry styles fic rec

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Change of Heart ( Taehyungx OC)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.

: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content

Chapter 9

“I believe you owe me an explanation....” My father’s voice was soft and steady, his gaze piercing as he stared at me. I could feel my skin thrum with distaste and the urge to take a shower was strong. I wanted to scrub my skin off, Eun Woo’s touch somehow lingering and heavy on me.

“Give me my phone back.” I said instead and my father shook his head.

“No can do. Those men you met? Paranoid bunch. They thought you and Eun Woo might have been recording something and they wanted me to check your phone. i had to reassure them and so, just for good measure, I destroyed it.”

I glared at him.

“I’m still waiting for an explanation. Two weeks ago you couldn’t stand the sight of Eun Woo.... And now here you are, at my Yacht club , claiming you’re dating the man. What are you trying to pull?” My father prompted.

“There’s nothing to say. I just... I lost my job at the preserve and I can’t really look for anything else right now Eun Woo is just helping me out.” I whispered.

My father looked surprised.

“That’s interesting, I see your pride isn’t as strong as it was when I introduced him to you at the preserve.”

I kept quiet.

"Good. I’m not surprised that you’ve come around to be honest. You are your mother’s daughter after all. Gold digger that she was, at least she left you some of her good looks for you to cash in one, yeah? ‘.

My breath caught in my throat, lips wobbling as tears sprung .

“But still.....the fact that you would whore yourself out to a bunch of animals, to keep him? It makes me wonder. What exactly is going on here, that I’m missing” ”

Taehyung , I thought miserably. I wanted him so badly right now that I felt like I would shatter if I didn’t get away from here.

I glared at my father, feeling disgust well up at the mere sight of him.

“I’m not going to do any such thing.... I’m just helping you . Eun Woo told me you’ve been looking to finish the deal and those men wanted to see me at the resort on the seventeenth. You should be thanking me right now. . ” I said defiantly and my father’s eyebrows rose.

And then he chuckled.

“I feel like you’ve bitten off way more than you can chew. But just remember, this is your doing and if things go south, i am not risking my entire reputation to rescue you. ” He said firmly.

“I can take care of myself.” I said shortly. I clenched and unclenched my fingers , trying to ground myself.

It was so amazing, how blind my father could be. He hadn’t suspected Eun Woo at all. Merely chalking him off as a perverted wolf who wanted to make a bit off money at his resort. Eun Woo was smart as well, being obtuse and sounding foolish on purpose, playing into my father’s belief that wolves weren’t intelligent.

. And this would be his downfall, I thought vindictively. The way he continually thought that wolves were foolish. That he was somehow smarter than them....

“I am not sure if I trust you entirely so I’ve asked Eun Woo to keep an eye on you, till the seventeenth. You can stay with him at his apartment. ” My father said thoughtfully

I kept my gaze down.

“At first i considered calling the whole thing off but apparently , Eun Woo’s onto something with the whole beta wolves being into voyeurism. Perhaps that’s a whole new avenue I could look into.... Those men out there....I’ve been showering them with gifts and women for months and this deal wouldn’t come through. But Eun Woo sweeps in, dangles you in front of them and suddenly they want to finish this deal in five days? Apparently, you’re the secret weapon I should have been using all along?”

I glared at him.

He looked thoughtful as he stared at me. And then he nodded, features hardening.

“So be it... You can go fuck that wolf in front of those men and I’ll get my work done. Always knew you weren’t unlike that mother of yours....” He smirked.

I felt my heart clench at that. My mother had been nothing but innocent. I recoiled when he made to stroke my cheek and he laughed again.

“He’ll come pick you up in a couple of hours . Take a shower and fix yourself. ” He gave me one last look before leaving.

The door slammed shut behind him and I sank to the floor. I stared around the room... groaning.

And then my eyes fell on the small pink phone, sticking out of my bag. My dad had taken my phone but not this . It was the pair to the toddler phone that I’d bought Luna so many moons ago. After my fallout with Taehyung I hadn’t used it at all but it had remained at the bottom of my bag. It would only connect to its pair, but no matter.

Grinning, I pulled it out, dialing quickly. If nothing else, at least dear , sweet Luna’s voice would cheer me up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you’ll make all the arrangements?” Eun Woo watched Taehyung carefully, the Alpha wolf sat behind his desk flanked by two of his closest men, Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin. The betas were built like fucking walls , both of them narcs in the force. They stared at him, eyes narrowed in distrust and for the first time Eun Woo felt the first inklings of regret.

Taehyung for his part looked like he believed him. A laptop stood open in front of him, and the wolf had a Bluetooth device in his ear, obviously watching something on the screen. Eun Woo wondered if he had even listened to anything he had said.

“So that’s it? You offered them the resort and they said the deal’s going down.” He asked casually and Eun Woo nodded , realizing that Taehyung had been listening to him after all. .

“On the seventeenth. Yoon Jae hyun’s going to be there.”

“And Mirae...?”

“Well, just as a guest...I did imply we were seeing each other so it would be less suspicious if she were also around.” Eun Woo willed himself to sound normal.

Taehyung didn’t look suspicious but there was no telling with the beautiful alpha, who had mastered the art of keeping a straight face while destroying his enemies. And Eun Woo was well aware that if the alpha found out how he had used the girl, he would definitely be topping that list.

“Very well. I’ll make the necessary arrangements. You can go now. I’ll contact you soon.” Taehyung said shortly , his gaze flitting back to the screen infront of him.

Eun Woo nodded, before standing up on shaky legs, his heart pounding, instincts telling him he was in danger. But he pushed away the thought, grabbing his bag and leaving the office quickly.

Taehyung watched him leave, claws out and digging straight through his desk to stop himself from launching across the room and tearing the wolf’s throat out. He could smell her on him. And his wolf wasn’t happy about it.

“Fucker’s got balls, lying to your face like that.” Namjoon commented mildly, staring at the laptop, where for the past hour or so, Taehyung kept replaying the CCTV footage from the poolside camera on the yacht club.

Taehyung stared at the screen, watching the sheer discomfort and disgust on Mi Rae’s face and he’d never been filled with so much bloodlust in his life. The urged to rip the wolves to shreds, to tear them limb from limb, it simmered in his blood.

The potent rage in his veins stunned him because he’d never felt anything like it before. If he’d had any doubts about whether his wolf had made the right choice, choosing Yoon Mi Rae, it was gone. The sight of those men, ogling what was his and his alone, it made him want to kill.

They had to die. And he had to do it.

Simple as that.

And he would.

He would run them through with his claws and watch the life blood drain out of their frail, fragile bodies.

it took him some effort to compose himself.

“How long has he been running this little racket in his resort?” Taehyung asked casually, feeling inordinately foolish. It was unlike him to be so neglectful over something so incredibly important. How on earth had Cha Eun Woo managed to run something so illicit and horrendous right under his nose?

He blamed himself.

He’d trusted Cha Eun Woo, for one hot minute. Forgotten that the wolf's loyalty lay solely with himself.

Namjoon sighed, placing a file in front of Taehyung. Taehyung flipped through the pictures , stomach turning. Eun Woo had huge sprawling rooms , with beds in the center fitted with restraints and handcuffs. Comfortable arm chairs and couches dotted the rest of the room, men lounging about as they watched the action unfold. Women, drugged and barely conscious, lay on most of them and apparently, alpha wolves indulged themselves with the women.

It was the most disgusting thing he had ever encountered in his life.

And the bastard had actually dared, actually had the fucking thought of dragging his mate into it.

The mere thought of it made Taehyung laugh out loud.

Cha Eun Woo was out of his damn mind.

There really was no other explanation for it. Or maybe he’d been so blinded by his own wealth and power that he’d forgotten that Taehyung was ten times as powerful as him.

Well, whatever the reason, he clearly had a death wish.

And Kim Taehyung was going to grant it to him. With Pleasure.

“It’s new. or we would have caught wind of it before.” Seokjin said apologetically, “ Probably a few months at the most. He mostly uses the men to get tax exemptions or do get ordinances cleared for his resorts or you know, get out of adhering to construction regulation and stuff like that. In return for letting them watch alphas knot human women. ” Seokjin’s face was scrunched in disgust.

“And when I let him meet Yoon Jae hyun and his cronies, he saw an opportunity to expand his clientele and he took it. “ Taehyung hummed thoughtfully.

“Mi Rae’s with her father....” Namjoon said thoughtfully.

“Knowing that son of a bitch, he’ll probably force her to go through with it.” Seokjin shuddered.

“Well, let him bring her there. We’ll get her out. And arrest the whole lot of them.” Namjoon said with a shrug.

Taehyung stared at them for a second.

He had been determined to do this by the book, at first. But watching Cha Eun Woo molest his girl, while a bunch of impotent , old bastards ogled her....well, that really changed his mind about how he wanted to deal with these motherfucking idiots.

“No.” Taehyung said casually.

Namjoon and Seokjin stilled.

“Tae?”

“We’re not arresting any of them.” He said casually. And then he gave Seokjin a slow, calculated smile.

Namjoon’s eyes widened as realization set in.

“Tae-” He began , looking worried but the Alpha merely stared at him.

“I’m going to trust that my two best men are going to make that happen for me?” he drawled, eyes flashing red in a way that said it wasn’t really a request.

Seokjin groaned.

“Fine. But we’ll still have to get an arrest warrant and all that. Don’t want the guy to be hailed as a victim or a martyr after I kill him. that always pisses me off.” He said distastefully and Taehyung hummed.

“I’m going to leave that to your capable hands, gentlemen. “

“We’ll get things ready then. “ Namjoon said casually making to move away and Taehyung nodded, watching the two betas move to the door.

“Good., oh and one more thing....” he called out , making them both turn.

“What’s wrong?” Seokjin asked , confused.

“Cha Eun Woo... he’s mine. Bring him to me when you’re done with the others.” Taehyung whispered.

Namjoon grimaced but Seokjin merely grinned. Ironically, although he looked soft and almost feminine in his beauty, Seokjin was the meaner one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung came home to see his daughter giggling uncontrollably on the couch, her phone pressed to her ear and he was confused.

The only one who could call her on that phone was him and-

His eyes widened, realization hitting him hard as he all but pounced on the couch, wrestling the phone out of Luna’s hands before he could think his actions through.

“Rae...” He breathed in disbelief.

“Taehyung?” Her voice came out surprised and relieved and he felt like he was flying. It felt like liquid honey in his ears, the sweet cadence of her tone filling him with sweet blessed relief. He hadn’t even realized how badly he had wanted to hear her voice, to get some confirmation that she was alright.

“Dada dada dada...gimme gimme ...I wanna talk to Rae Rae...!!!” Luna bounced next to him, tugging on his arm and he struggled to keep his balance.

“ How did you call? I’ve been trying to reach you and-”

“Dada!!! Please...i haven’t spoken to her in ages...lemme talk to Rae Rae...!!” Luna’s voice was shrill and unrelenting.

“My dad got my phone.... I’m supposed to be with Eun Woo” He could almost see her rolling her eyes as she said that and he felt fondness bloom inside him at the though.

“Dada!! Lemme talk!” Luna was beginning to climb him now and he flinched when her tiny little claws came out, easily piercing the silk of his shirt and digging into his arms.

“Damn it! Luna will you let me talk to your mother for one damn second?!!!!!” Taehyung shouted, frustration spilling out of him before he could tamp it down.

Luna froze on his arm.

It took him another ten seconds to realize what he just said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My heart thudded straight up to my throat, my lungs constricting so hard that I almost choked.

I gripped the phone hard, fingers shaking as i tried to process what I’d just heard.

“Shit... Oh shit..” Taehyung swore and I startled.

“Don’t swear in front of her...” I hissed automatically . “ Taehyung what the fuck-”

“You’re swearing now!!” He shouted.

“Can you blame me?” I shouted back, my heart pounding. “ I’m not...what the hell do you mean mother?!!”

“I’m sorry... I don’t know why I said that.. It just slipped out.. i... you’re my mate and ... I know you told me not to call you that but I’m sorry , that’s what you are and she’s my daughter so I guess I just.. “

“We’ll talk about this later. “ I snapped, too tired to deal with his twisted feelings. “You have to get me out of here! The last thing I want to do is spend another minute with Cha Eun Woo. ”

“God, Rae... are you alright? ..”

“I’m fine but can you get me out of here? I wanna get out of here!” I whispered.

“Are you in your dad’s apartment? Is he hurting you?”

I sighed in defeat, knowing exactly what was going to happen.

“Let me guess....you want me to stay with the pervert till you finish saving the world.” I groaned.

“We need him at that resort on seventeenth. This whole thing is beginning to infuriate me and I’m going to end it. For good.” Taehyung’s voice carried a hard edge to it that made me wince.

“Are you gonna be there?” I asked, worried.

“I am.”

I bit my lips.

“Did Eun Woo tell you how he got those men to agree to come there?” I asked hesitantly.

“He didn’t but I know. Don’t worry about, I’ll deal with that....”

“If he didn’t tell you how did you know?” I asked, confused.

Silence.

“ i planted a bug on him. And I had spycams set up around the pool.”

“I didn’t like what he did.” I whispered. “ I don’t... I know its for a reason but the way he touched me I... I didn’t like it...”

Taehyung didn’t respond for a few seconds.

“ Mi Rae , what he did was so far out of line that I can’t even begin to tell you how angry it makes me. But, don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of him too. ” He said finally.

I felt myself itch with the need to get away. To reach Taehyung. And Luna..God, listening to her voice after so long....listening to her happy , joyful delight.,..

“I want to see you.” I begged, dignity forgotten. “ I want to see you and Luna.. Taehyung get me out of here!! Please.!!!”

Taehyung groaned.

“Baby, listen to me... just leave with Eun Woo for now , he won’t touch you, I’ll make sure of that.....”

“No you can’t make sure of that!!” i snapped. “ You don’t know how it felt to have his hands on me.... I.... I can’t bear the thought of him near me... Please, please, get me out of here.”

A steady beeping made me jump and I stared at the phone in my hand. A red light blinked steadily on the upper edge made my heart drop. The battery was running out. Of course it was . I hadn’t used this in days.

Tears sprung before I could tamp down on my own misery,

"Tae...Can you hear me?” I choked out. “ Tae... I can’t explain it. I feel weird.... I feel miserable and scared and to be honest, I hate my own skin right now.... Ever since he touched me... I feel like ....”

Another series of beeps and the call ended. My fingers were shaking as i stared at the phone in misery.

This whole thing was spiraling into something scary and unpredictable and for once, the fear refused to ebb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Taehyung...we can’t...”

“Call him.... We’re moving this thing up to tonight. I’m not waiting a whole four days to rip these bastards to shreds. ” Taehyung roared, clenched fist coming down on the mahogany surface of his table with enough force that Namjoon heard the tell tale sound of wood splintering.

He flinched.

Taehyung was enraged and the beta wolves felt like they were walking on literal eggshells.

Seokjin held a hand up, trying to calm the infuriated wolf.

“Okay... Okay...listen , we can’t just go in guns blazing and just kill some of the most prominent men in the country, Taehyung. That’s not how it works. ”

Taehyung tried to keep his temper in check but it was impossible. God, the way she had sounded on the phone. Cha Eun Woo was lucky he wasn’t in front of him right now... Taehyung was going to tear him limb from limb for this.

“So what, I just hand her over to him for the next five days?” He snarled. That wasn’t going to happen. it would be one thing if she was comfortable with it, but there was no way he was letting Eun Woo within fifty feet of her, not when she sounded so upset.

“This is what happens when you ignore your fucking biology and act like a whole entire idiot. “ Seokjin snaps. “ There’s a reason people spend days locked in after mating!! Your bond is fragile and sensitive. Just because you don’t want to fuck her into the wall anymore , it doesn’t mean your bond is settled. She’s probably feeling just as worse....and she likely has no clue why ...”

Taehyung felt his head throb.

“She’s human...she won’t feel the bond...” He muttered.

Seokjin scoffed.

“Are you serious, Tae? The mating bite connects you to her. You know that right? Yes, its not going to be as potent as it is for us , but human mates can sense the bond. The reason she’s so desperate to see you right now is because you carted her off with another wolf, before the bond could even settle. A wolf who for all intents and purposes sexually assaulted her.”

Taehyung’s breath caught in his throat.

He’d been avoiding that thought , tried to downplay what Eun Woo had done, just for the sake of his own sanity. But Seokjin was right. What Eun Woo had done was just that and Taehyung had literally given him the license to do it.

“I need to see her .” He whispered softly.

“I’ll go get her.” Namjoon replied gently.. Taehyung stared at him, frowning.

“How?” he asked, shortly. His mind felt so foggy, so unlike himself. He was usually the sharpest man in any room, solving problems before they even cropped up, ever missing anything. But right now, he couldn’t think beyond getting her back in his arms.

“With them... I’ll go with them and tell Eun Woo I’m going to bring Mirae here..... Will that be enough? We’re this close to ending this for good, Tae. Don’t ..let your instincts mess this for you...”

Seokjin scoffed.

“Shut the fuck up, the pair of you. Taehyung stop thinking with your dick for a second and consider what we’ve been doing..... This raid has been in the works for three whole years. We’re not going to do something stupid now. Namjoon and i will go see Eun Woo....Give him a taste of what will happen if he touches Rae.... and then we’ll be back here.”

He smiled then, wide and beautiful and even Taehyung felt a cold shiver run up his spine.

Seokjin continued,

“ Five days from now, we’re going in, collecting enough evidence to bring the bastards down and then, to satisfy Taehyung’s bloodthirsty soul, we’ll rip a few throats out too. How’s that sound? ”

it sounded fucking fantastic especially the last bit.

“What if you piss Eun Woo off and he calls off the whole thing...?” Namjoon protested and Seokjin rolled his eyes.

“The mutt’s playing in the big league now. He was the one who offered them the whole show, think they’ll take too kindly to him backing out all of a sudden? Probably won’t..... He’s gonna have to stick with it. If for no other reason than to cover his own ass. ”

“You’re not leaving Rae with him. I want to come with you guys....” Taehyung said firmly.

“Oh, God. No. Absolutely not. I’m not burying Cha Eun Woo’s decapitated body tonight. That’s just not going to happen.” Namjoon held his hands up.

Seokjin grinned.

“As loathe as I am to admit it, Namjoon is right. You don’t have to be there. Don’t worry, we’ll be thorough. Make sure he understands we aren’t playing around. And we’ll think of something with your girlfriend. We can’t bring her to you.... Jae hyung has eyes on you , you know that. We’ll make sure she’s somewhere safe. ”

“You know you can trust us , Tae. We’re going to make sure this fool gets what he deserves.”

Taehyung nodded, skin still thrumming with discomfort. He wasn’t going to feel better until he saw her, but it looked like he had to wait for a while.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stared at the two wolves flanking Eun Woo, each one holding him up by one arm, his knees bent at an odd angle. He looked unconscious .

“Sorry. He wasn’t supposed to pass out but the fucker’s just a huge ass coward. Didn’t even last five minutes.”

“Five minutes of what?” I whispered, staring in mild horror at the blood dripping steadily from the man’s temple.

“Five minutes of us demonstrating what happens to people who covet things that don’t belong to them.” Seokjin smiled brightly.

“Jungkook’s on the way here.... You know him right? Taehyung told me he’s a friend of yours. He’s going to let you crash with him for a couple of days That okay? “

I stared between the two of them.

“Are you sure? My father....”

“Oh your father won’t know, sweetheart, don’t worry about that. You know the original plan was for us to just warn this fool and he would come to his senses . But he chose to be an idiot and mouthed off about fucking anyone he wants to fuck.... So, Joon and I are going to keep him away from you. We owe Taehyung that much.” The wolf had a breathtaking face, impossible to look away from.

“Can’t I go to Taehyung?” I said stupidly and they exchanged looks.

“No wonder he’s whipped. She’s gorgeous.” Namjoon muttered under his breath.

Seokjin elbowed him sharply.

“Uh.. no. That’s going to be difficult because ....well, for starters its going to be pretty suspicious if you randomly show up at the Official residence of a Minister.”

I flushed.

“He’s not staying at his condo?” I asked hesitant.

Seokjin shook his head.

“He’s taking office in a few days, Yoon Mi Rae, ssi. He’s under the limelight right now. Which is why we think it would be safer for you to stay elsewhere. Your father is probably watching him closely.”

I closed my eyes, feeling jittery. I startled when arms wrapped around me, warm and firm.

“hey..... you alright?” The taller, dimpled wolf gave me a concerned glance and i realized I’d swayed a little.

“I’m sorry... I’m fine.. I’m just...”

“It’s the bond.” Seokjin said gently and I stared at him.

“Bond?” I muttered, confused.

“He claimed you. It sounds archaic but you do belong to him. Your body recognizes that even if your heart or mind doesn’t. “ He sounded almost apologetic.

I groaned.

“So I’m going to feel this way...”

“Anytime someone else gets close to you, yes.”

I remembered how averse I had been to Jungkook touching me in the tub, that morning after.

“So this isn’t real? I want to be with him but it isn’t real...and I can’t be with anyone else either -”

“Hey...Hey...listen. That’s not what I’m saying. Just the fact that the bond formed is proof that you guys have something special. If you weren’t into each other his wolf would have rejected the bond at once. But I’m just saying, for a few days, maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions without being physically affected by them.” Seokjin said gently.

I sighed peering over at Eun Woo.

“What are you going to do with him?”

Seokjin hesitated.

“Take him to our place probably. Can’t risk him running around wrecking havoc. Don’t worry about it. Five days max. This whole thing will blow over and you won’t have to see him again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You okay?” Jungkook placed a pair of towels at the foot of the bed, looking concerned as he stared at me. I sat on the bed, knees drawn up and arms folded over them staring at him.

“I’m so screwed.” I whispered.

Jungkook smiled.

“It always feels that way.... at first. Don’t worry, you guys will work this out.”

“I’m scared. My father ...he... he’s always been a bastard but... I never saw him as someone dangerous. But I think he is. I’m scared he’s going to hurt Taehyung.” I said softly, finally voicing what I’d been worried about all along.

Jungkook gave me a sharp look.

“That’s not going to be easy. Hyung can take care of himself. I’m an alpha myself and you won’t see me going against him. Everyone knows he’s not someone you should underestimate. “

“But I’m still worried..... I... I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“I’m glad you don’t want me dead anymore.”

Taehyung’s voice sent a jolt of electric current straight up my spine. I scrambled, turning around to the window in shock.

The alpha sat perched on the window sill, looking entirely unbothered for someone dangling a good fifty feet off the ground.

“Hyung , what? Get in here!!!” Jungkook hissed, reaching for him, but he was already throwing his legs over and dropping to the carpeted floor with ease.

“Don’t trust you enough to leave her with you for the night, Jungkook-ah...” He said casually, but his eyes danced with mirth.

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“She smells like you now hyung.... I’m not going there ..”

Taehyung gave me a surprised look.

“She does?”

“The bond’s settling then.” Jungkook said. “ This is my cue to leave. Where’s your security detail hyung? Tell me I’m not going to get shot in my sleep for kidnapping the Minister for Supernatural affairs.”

Taehyung chuckled.

“They know where I am... I’m only here for the night. I have stuff to do in the morning.” He turned to me holding his arms out, “ You okay?”

I threw myself at him without a second thought.

It felt like gears slotting together perfectly, his arm around me calming the simmering discomfort under my skin so quickly that I went limp.

I closed my eyes, gripping his tight, letting my eyes fall shut as I inhaled the musky , woody scent of him. I heard the door close softly behind Jungkook and Taehyung ran his palms up and down my back.

“I may possibly be the worst mate in history.” He commented mildly.

I snorted.

“There’s no competition there. You win, hands down.” I muttered. He pulled back to stare at me, hands coming up to gently cup my face.

“I’m going to kill him.” He said softly and I frowned.

“I thought he was only doing what you asked him to.” I said , frowning.

Taehyung gave me a sharp glance. His hands slipped to my wrists, tugging me to the bed. I settled on the mattress and he took his shoes off carefully.

“God, no. Do you really think I’d do something like that?” He gave me a wounded look and i bit my lips.

“How would i know? All you told me was that you needed Cha Eun Woo to help you”

Taehyung hesitated.

“He’s been running a brothel in that resort. A brothel were old or impotent wolves can watch alphas knot human women..... Its been going on for a while. i never knew. He’s been hiding it really well.”

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

Suddenly, the way he had talked about how I would look, having sex with an alpha wolf, the way he had described it to those men, it made sense.

“He told them ... he made it seem like I was one of those women.” Bile rose up in my throat.

Taehyung reached out, fingers lightly gripping my waist and tugging me closer.

I hesitated, not sure what he wanted but he scooted back to lean on the headboard, long legs stretched out in front of him and he held his hand out again.

“Come here.” He whispered gently. “ i can think better if you’re in front of me”

Seokjin’s words echoed in my head , maybe indulge your baser instincts and stick to him, yeah? Once the bond settles , you can make better decisions.

I crawled over on my knees.

Taehyung reached out , gripped my waist with both hands and lifted me straight up into his lap like I weighed nothing. i yelped, knees hitting the mattress on either side of his waist as I tried to spread my thighs wide enough to accommodate him .

He kept his hands on my waist, grabbing the hem of my blouse and tugging it out of my skirt. He slipped his fingers in till he grazed my bare skin, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against the heated flesh.

“Feel good?” He whispered softly.

I tilted my head, regarding him thoughtfully.

“When have you ever made me feel anything but good, Alpha Kim?” I smirked, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

The fingers on my waist tightened, hard enough to bruise and I choked , gripping his shoulders , feeling the hard jut of his shoulder blades beneath my fingers.

“Behave.” He warned softly, “ I’m trying to start this right.”

I sighed.

“Start what?”

“This.. You and I. Together. As more than just friends.”

I straightened, surprised.

“Taehyung-”

“I came here tonight, not because I had to...not because I needed to... but because I wanted to. I want you to know that. I’m here not by obligation but because I wanted to see you. Because I care for you.” He stared right at me but i couldn’t help but be wary.

I looked away.

“That's not what you said the last time we met which was literally this morning...” i protested.

“ Rae, I was so fucking scared. I’ve been living inside my own head for too damn long. I’ve always had these....fucking rules inside me. Rules that i couldn’t bring myself to break. I don’t break the law, I don’t get involved with humans, I don’t trust humans, I always do stuff by the book..... But today, just...seeing what happened at that pool...... I realized I’ve been so fucking blind. ”

I swallowed.

“That’s not your fault...”

“It is... “ He said shortly. “ I’ve been so caught up with keeping my own rules, with fighting humans that I forgot that not all wolves are saints either. I’ve been so focused on your father because he’s human that I didn’t even consider that the men actually funding and dueling this entire drug racket...they’re wolves like me. That it isn’t humans who exploit us but men in power. Men in power who twist the law and use it as leeway to do whatever shit they want. “

“You couldn’t have known.” I said weakly.

“I could have. If I’d wanted to. Two months ago Cha Eun Woo built a beach side resort in Jeju Do, very close to some endangered coral reefs I remember reading about it and wondering how he could have possibly gotten a permit to do that shit. But then i never followed through with it. And I wonder if it was because I considered him a friend. A friend whose favor I would need in the future. And what does it say about me, if my moral values are so selective? I can’t act high and mighty about bringing your father down while I’ve been letting Cha Eun Woo run a fucking sex trade right under my nose.”

I pressed a palm to his face, my heart breaking at the sheer exhaustion on his face.

“You can’t fix the entire world, Taehyung. You’re not meant to single handedly solve every problem in the country...... “ I whispered.

He shuddered.

“But if i don’t , who will?” He stared at me. “ Someone has to make an effort right?”

I nodded.

“Yes... You’re right. And you’ve done enough. You’ve done more than your fair share. And you can do so much more, if you let yourself relax. If you let yourself breathe when you’re drowning you can swim so much further.”

He stared at me.

“My daughter.” He choked out. “ She really thinks you’re her mother. “

I bit my lips in distress.

“Tae, I’m so sorry-”

“ Her mother died when she was barely three....So she doesn’t remember her much. She only remembers her scent which was yours.... She... She really wants you with us, Rae.”

“You shouldn’t have said that on the phone. What were you thinking calling me her mother...” I whispered, shaking my head.

“ I think I saw you as Luna’s mother. the moment you held her that day, in the dock , in the rain. The way she relaxed in your arms...The way her face lights up at the thought of you... I... I want that for her. I want her to have that...forever.”

I let myself look at him.

“And what about you? What do you want? “

He held my gaze for a long time. I felt my heart begin to pound, anticipation clawing up my spine.

“a bowl of patbingsu would feel great.” He said seriously.

It took me a second to realize what he’d just said. I punched his shoulders, not in the mood for jokes at all.

“Sorry sorry...that was bad timing.” He grinned.

“The worst. Are you asking me out or not?” I demanded.

"I am asking you to move in.” He said softly. “ As my mate.”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

“It may seems too much , especially for a human but I’m a were and I want you in my house. Want your scent there, mingling with mine and I want my daughter to see us together. I want you to be...the woman I love.”

“Don’t throw the L word around like that . It scares me..” I muttered and he smiled.

“I’m not a teenager Rae. The L word as you call it, it doesn’t scare me. I have a daughter, I know love in its purest form. And I’m not afraid of saying it either.”

“Well, I’m just not sure if you even mean it.” I said desperately.

“I do mean it. I love you and I know that because I broke every rule I’ve been keeping for the past twenty years , just because of a five minute video clip of another guy touching you .”

I shook my head.

I felt overwhelmed.

Somewhere beneath that chaos, I was happy, of course I was. But for now, the exhaustion and weariness won out, and I edged closer, resting my head on his shoulders.

He hugged me closer and i felt the gentle press of his lips against the top of my head.

“Let’s sleep.” I whispered. “ I’m so tired.”

He hummed.

“Would you like me to leave?”

I shook my head.

“No. Stay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night, to find myself on my side his arms wrapped right around me, tight and firm. I wondered how numb his arm must be, and wriggled a bit, swallowing the dryness in my throat.

He grunted and gripped my waist, stopping me from moving.

“You need to stop grinding on my dick, darling.” He choked out. I froze, face flaming.

“Sorry... I...”

“It’s alright. What’s wrong?” He whispered, fingers brushing my hair back.

I stared at the wall in front of me, lightly stroking the arm wrapped around my waist.

“I feel better when I’m with you.” I whispered. “ Even when i barely saw you, those months in your home in the preserve...I always felt better when you were around. It was irrational, how much I liked you and wanted to be with you, seeing as I didn’t know much about you at all... And It makes me wonder, if perhaps you and I, perhaps we aren’t that different.” I said.

He hummed.

“How so?”

“Maybe wolves aren’t the only ones who can sense their mates . Maybe humans can too....maybe we sense it but we’re just too scared to act on it.”

“Why should you be scared...?”

“Because sometimes, even your mate rejects you and that stings.” I smiled. His grip tightened around me.

“I will spend the rest of my life atoning for what I put you through...” He kissed my neck and I trembled.

“It wasn’t a sin.” I said laughing at how serious he sounded. “ It was you being true to yourself . i appreciate that.”

“But I hurt you. I hurt my mate. As a wolf that is unforgivable.”

“Well , then you’re lucky that I’m not a wolf, aren’t you? Because I’ve already forgiven you.”

He tugged me around gently till I was on my back, before climbing on top of me.

“Can I kiss you?” He brushed the hair off my face.

“I don’t know. Can you?” I grinned at him.

He growled.

“brat.”

He pressed his lips against mine, a soft and gentle touch that lasted for just a few seconds before he drew back.

And then he leaned in again, this time , lips parting, soft and wet as it closed over mine, tongue sweeping across the seam of my lips, begging entrance. I relaxed into the pillows , letting him take the lead.

Taehyung kissed like he did everything else, firm and hard but somehow careful and gentle.

The soft press of his fingers on my chin as he tilted my face for better access, the way his tongue licked into my mouth in soft kittenish licks, the way his teeth nibbled on the plushness of my lip, only for his tongue to lick and sooth the sting right after....

His kisses tasted like scotch and honey, like spring water in the middle of summer , cool and refreshing nd reaching so far inside me that I ached for it. He was strong and warm against me, his hair felt like spun silk beneath my fingers . i traced the contours of his face , the sharp edge of his jawline, the softness of his perfect brows and the sharpness of his collarbones.

My mind was reeling by the time he pulled away.

“Can I fuck you ?” He asked softly and I jolted at the filthy words in that deep earnest tone.

“I don’t know Can yo-?”

He didn’t let me finish. Groaning as he sat up, gripping the hem of his t shirt and peeling it off. I watched as he shimmied out of jungkook’s sweatpants ,before straddling me again.

“Take that t shirt off for me.” He smiled and I quickly shrugged it off.

“Mmm.... beautiful. I love your breasts....such pretty pink nipples.” He said casually and i choked a bit when he reached down, thumbing at the hard nubs till they pebbled up under his touch.

I threw my head back as he bent over, peppering kisses all over my jaw before moving down to lick my nipple, lips closing over the nub for one second before nipping at them with his teeth. I felt the hardness of his erection against the softness of my stomach as he grabbed my panties, tugging them off me.

“I like it rough.” I whispered into his ear and he growled, reaching forward and grabbed the hair at the back of my head, yanking me away from his face.

“Then let me fuck your face.” He said casually, scooting forward and pressing his cock right up against my lips. I took the hard length of him into my mouth. He tasted tangy and familiar , from the texture of his skin like silk on steel , to the way slight saltiness of his precum on my tongue. I loved the way his fingers gripped my hair, just a little too tight for comfort and a little short of violent.

I moaned in disappointment when he pulled out a little, but only to place himself properly , one hand gripping the head board for support. Bracing himself against the headboard, Taehyung threaded one hand through my hair, gripping carefully till heat seeped through my entire body at the sting of it, and then he began thrusting into my mouth gently, pushing past my teeth and deeper into my mouth. I inhaled each time he pulled out, trying to tamp down my gag reflex, as i took the entire hot, wet length of him inside my mouth.

He picked up the pace, letting go of the head board in favor of gripping my hair in both hands, holding me in place as he fucked into my mouth till my eyes watered.

I felt myself dripping wet with arousal and I tapped his thighs. He pulled back to stare at me.

“You alright?”

“Fuck me.” I choked out, throat fucked raw and voice breaking. “Need you inside me now-”

He didn’t wait for me to elaborate, grabbing my waist and turning me over at once.

“Hands and knees., grab the headboard.” He growled and I scampered to obey.

“Good girl, Now just hold on let me make you feel good, yeah, baby?”

I felt a soft, wet kiss right on my spine, before fingers gripped my hair again , tugging me back just as he slid right into me.

The shock of it made me stop breathing, his cock so thick and hard it felt like I’d been split open.

“How does that feel baby? ...” He whispered, bending over and kissing my neck. “ Am i making you feel good” I fought to get words out and then groaned when he slid back in , a little rougher and a little faster.

He stopped again, pulling out and hitting my thigh, the sharp sting making me yelp.

“Roll over, sweetheart.” He whispered and I blinked groggily, rolling over to stare at him. He grabbed a spare pillow, folding it in half before pushing it under my hips.

i blinked in confusion as he loomed over me again, this time grabbing my leg and throwing it over his shoulder. before pushing back in. deeper this time, the tip of his cock hitting so deep that I felt a sting of pain that made me wince.

He caught the look on my face and smiled, apologetic.

“Sometimes, too big isn’t too good. You’re a little small for me, I’m hitting your cervix. Let me fix that.” He fixed the pillow again and this time when he pushed in , it was pure pleasure, his cock brushing my g spot with ease and making me clench around him like a vice. He moved to his knees, still inside me and I groaned in protest when his weight lifted off me.

“Wanna see you cum, angel..” He whispered, using his thumb to press and slide over my clit in smooth, little strokes . I could feel my wetness leaking all over the place and I felt my throat go dry when he scooped up the dampness, before tracing the slick wetness all over my nipples and bending low and licking it all off.

“Taste so sweet, my baby...” He whispered, “ Wanna try?”

I barely registered what he said, eyes fluttering shut and I yelped when he lightly flicked my lips.

“Open your mouth..you should taste how good you are...” He grinned wickedly.

Before i could reply he was already slipping two fingers between my legs, collecting more of the heady slickness. I moaned as he slipped the fingers into my mouth, smearing it all over my tongue , the spicy sweetness foreign and yet arousing against my tongue. I felt my eyes widen as the taste filled my tongue, making me clench harder around him.

“Tell me you taste good...” He pulled back and rammed again inside me , is fingers moving back to my hair and gripping tight.

“I.. i taste good..” I stuttered.

He grinned in appreciation and held my hips, swiftly flipping us over till I was on top, his cock slipping out of me because of how wet and messy i was. I struggled to pace myself and yelped when he casually grabbed my hips, lifting me up and bringing me down till I took the entire hard length of him inside.

“Wait...stop.” He said suddenly and I froze. And then he was sitting up and turning me around making me kneel, facing away from him and i finally noticed the large dresser mirror, right across from the bed.

I met his gaze through the reflection, swallowing.

“When I watched you put on make up today, the way you stared at me through the mirror and put me in my place.... I was thinking I should do this.... .stare at you through a mirror someday and put you in your place. Didn’t think it would be so soon, baby.”

I panted as he moved behind me, using his hands to lightly part my thighs. And the he was pushing closer, sliding into me and I gasped, gripping him tighter as he used one hand to fondle my breast while the other wrapped tight around my hip, bracing me for his thrusts.

It lasted less than two minutes. I came unraveled, my mind exploding in glorious white hot pleasure and his warmth washed inside me, filling me and dripping down my thighs till i fell back against him, boneless and spent .I fell forward on to mattress, my limb jelly and he groaned, draping himself over me.

“Hope that was sufficiently rough and filthy for you, my dear.” He whispered.

I could barely think, let alone string words together so i stayed quiet, letting him pull me closer and hold me tight.

i shifted as he moved to settle his head on my breasts, his arms and legs draping over me while his breath fanned hot and cold against my sweat slicked skin.

His phone buzzed right next my head and he frowned.

And then he laughed, turning to show me the screen

From Jeon Jungkook :

I’m in the next room hyung!! Fucking stop. !!!

I grinned despite myself.

Good Lord.

~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note :

Ummm...hi?

Guess this isn’t ending in ten chapters fml.

@veronawrites

@ladyartemesia

@bumb1e–bee

Some of you sent me an ask to be tagged but i couldn’t tag you guys...probably because you’ve made your profile private.... So I’m sorry about that.

#taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung werewolf au #bts werewolf au #bts smut #bts au #bts fanfic #bts smut fic #bts fics #bts taehyung #taehyung fics

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bunni-teeth81 · 3 years

Text

Slender bros rewritten by me

Cause I want character development

(This is mostly Offender, trender, and Splendor. Also if you like Slendey/slender dad you might not wanna read this cause I do not make him a good guy in the slightest)

Possible tw for mention sexual assault, pedolophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia!

To start off, Offender is not a rapist, he isn’t a pedo, and he doesn’t fuck animals

He doesn’t do anything without consent, plain and simple. Him being all those things was a rumor started by someone he fucked in the past who got caught cheating. They said Offender forced them and the rumors have escalated since with his legend.

He actively avoids children cause he doesn’t like them. So he literally couldn’t be a pedo.

He doesn’t hate kids, he just prefers to not be around them.

He won’t fuck someone with kids unless the kids are out of the house and somewhere safe.

He’s wary about fucking 18 and 19 year olds and usually doesn’t

Occasionally if he sees a kid sad while he’s on a walk or whatever he’ll give them some daisies or something. Though they kinda just appear near the kid. He doesn’t actually go near them.

Though he will fuck old people. He has no problem with that. But he will go gentler cause they’re frail

He likes animals, but not like that. Like.. ew

He has a kind of respect for the dead, even people he’s killed to eat, so he’d never do that. Also it goes back to the consent thing. They can’t consent so he ain’t gonna fuck them.

He’s pansexual.

He’s very kinky, obviously. He’s willing to do pretty much anything in bed

He prefers to top but he has no problem being pegged-

Has tried every drug there is.

Usually just sticks to weed, alcohol, crack, shrooms, and the occasional LSD

Bath salts fucked him up majorly and he will never do them again.

He works for trender, who has a whole ass company (will be touched on later)

He helps trender make clothes for more alt styles (punk, grunge, goth, emo, all that good stuff) and he helps with lingerie (masc and fem. trender makes both. Offender tests it out and gives feedback on what could be added or changed)

He also finds models for Trender (there’s really no qualifications to be a model, you kinda just have to want to be one. Trender, his assistants, and other models will help fill new models in. And they never have to wear something they don’t want or pose a way that makes them uncomfortable. also theres do discrimination when it comes to models, any one of any race, body type, gender (or lack there of), sexuality, and age to an extent (depending on the clothes being modeled and (if parent permission is needed if they get it)) are welcome)

He also does side jobs like art (he does realistic art) plays piano or violin for songs, every so often he’ll join a strip club. Definitely has an OF.

He learned piano from his dad. Their dad made them all learn piano. His dad was very against him learning violin but his mother let him learn it (she knew how to play)

Their parents kept them pretty reserved from the rest of the world (particularly humans) for safety reasons. The brothers didn’t find out they were the only ones of their kind till they were like teens and went hunting for the first time.

Their parents suddenly disappeared when they were teens. They still haven’t found them and have no idea what happened to them.

Zalgo killed them cause the dad was constantly fighting him, so was the mom but less so.

There were originally 5 brothers, but one got murdered (It was Tenderman. Who wouldve been the oldest, then slender, offender and trender are twins, then splendor)

They don’t know how tender was murdered. All they know is they can be murdered. They still haven’t figured out how tho.

They do know that they can regenerate any part of their body (teeth and nails grow back almost instantly, limbs take longer, they can just put their head where it should be and the bone, muscle, skin, tissue and all that will pull back together, skin can either regenerate in about an hour or two or a couple days depending on the size of the wound. Their organs can regenerate but it takes like a month.)

Drugs don’t effect them the same way they do us. Our massive hangovers that put us out of commission is what happens after they do LSD. A regular hangover for us is what happens when they do coke or a drink shit ton of alcohol.

Offender has the highest tolerance, then it’s trender, splendor, and Slender has the lowest cause he hasn’t done drugs.

Splendor has tried them but doesn’t like doing them. He doesn’t drink much either.

Trender will do them every so often, usually with Offender. He either drinks or smokes a blunt usually. Shrooms are for special occasions, and LSD gives him major anxiety so he doesn’t do it.

Trender and Offender were the only ones to try bath salts. They don’t know what happened. Splendor says they disappeared for a month and murdered a shit ton of people. They almost got caught. And at some point Offender ate a whole ass headstone and took a chunk out of a mausoleum

Slender hunts whenever the hell he wants, he doesn’t care about being caught

Offender hunts every couple of months or so

Trender hunts about 2 times a year. He spreads out his food pretty evenly

Splendor hates hunting and usually Offender or Trender will do it for them. They’ll maybe hunt once a year.

Human food to them is like sweets to us. They can’t live off it but it’ll keep them from starving. If they don’t eat human for about 3-4 years they’ll start to starve, but the process is slow and would probably take a while to actually kill them

Trender, Splendor, and Offender try not to get caught or make suspicions rise. They just wanna live their lives.

The amount of people they consume and how long they stay in their human form determines their power levels.

Slender is the most powerful, then Splendor, Offender, and Trender is the least powerful (but they’re all still mega powerful)

Slender is never in his human form and consumes humans whenever he wants so he has nothing holding back his power

Splendor may not eat human much but they’re rarely ever in his human form. And if they are it’s not for more than an hour usually

Offender is in his human form about 50% of the time. He’s in his normal form at home or hunting and any other time he’s human so-

Trender is in his human form like 90% of the time since he spends most of his time at work (he’s a workaholic to the highest extent. When it becomes really bad is when Offender will step in and be like “hey let’s grab a drink and chill out”)

Offender and Slender’s relationship is like Raph and Leo’s from tmnt if their relationship was genuine hatred and violent

Splendor tries to med their relationship and makes times where they all hang out and have dinner together but to no avail

This is the only time Slender can be seen in his human form. He doesn’t want to go but for some reason he does

Slender is stuck in his ways

Their dad hated humans with a passion, and Slender looked up to their father and wanted to be exactly like him so the hatred rubbed off

Slender blames humans for his parents disappearing and Tender’s death. Tender was the brother he bonded with the most

Splendor used to be a really emotional kid and their father hated that so now they bottle up everything

Their mother tried to help as best she could

V support

Trender’s company is a fashion company that produces just about everything

And the sizes go up to 4 or 5 x

And the prices are reasonable and don’t go up with the size

Trender really doesn’t give to shits about money. If he could he’d just give everything he makes away but unfortunately he needs some money to produce what he makes.

He makes kids clothing, teens clothing, adults clothing in every aesthetic you can think of. Rarely will you see basic shit from him

He makes jewelry (real and fake (for the kiddies) and specifies very obviously which is which so someone doesn’t accidentally buy the wrong one)

He makes shoes!

His prices are usually around 10-25 dollars for clothing, sometimes 30 if it’s a specific brand (like Gorillaz or something. He doesn’t work with brands like Victoria secret, brands that have sweat shops, things like that. He doesn’t support them whatsoever)

His business is huge but he always listens to the people and tries to improve. And all his products are made ethically. He tries in every way possible to produce good products without polluting the earth more

Splendor usually only hangs around babies-young adults. They help them through rough home lives, trauma, and helps them find joy. They do everything they can to make them feel better

Splendor is the one who takes care of Sally. And they feels incredibly guilty for not being able to stop what happened to her, or punish her uncle himself.

Animals and mystical creatures are drawn to them and their home. They go to it for shelter and safety, as well as some food. But because Splendor isn’t always there they have a nymph friend there to look after everything.

Slenderman is the only one with proxies

Splendor is demisexual and bi, leaning towards men

Trender is queer and demisexual/demiromantic

Slender doesn’t love anything. Ever.

Trender gets annoyed easily but rarely ever gets pissed pissed (like original face altering pissed) if he does it’s either cause someone did something to his brothers or his models. And the unfortunate soul who did such will never be seen again afterwards

Offender doesn’t really get pissed pissed cause he usually either bottles it up or makes a joke out of it. It’s really only if something happens to his brothers that he gets pissed pissed.

Splendor has a list of people they wish they could rip to shreds. All of them parents. But they don’t want to do that to the children. They only intervenes and gets pissed pissed when the abuse gets physical or sexual. When it’s physically they’ll give the parent one change to never do that again. They’ll scare the shit outta them but won’t hurt them. If it’s sexual they kill them. Plain and simple.

Splendor started wearing pokadots to make the kids happy. Trender hates the suit but doesn’t comment usually

Splendor’s black hands are a skin disease their species can have. The skin is black and kinda ridged.

Splendor wears gloves because of their skin disease. the blood stains and they can’t get it out. Also they’re very insecure about their disease

Splendor put the bells on their tendrils so their movements didn’t scare the kids. They would always know when he was moving and where he was moving to so they’d be more comfortable. It was painful but it was worth it

Slender was in the woods when he was younger and almost got attacked by humans, but his mother came and saved him. (Her tendrils could be used as a shield)

Eden is not related to the brothers.

But eden looks a lot like their mother, so much so that Spendor legitimately mistakes her for their mother.

Slender’s human name is John (splendor had to come up with it on the spot leave them be)

Offender’s human name is Dimitri and I’ll die on this hill

Splendor’s human name is Faer

Trender’s human name is Quael

They can change their physical appearance to be fem or masc. like their body can change.

Slender doesn’t give two shits about pronouns

Offender doesn’t care but he/they/xem works

Trender goes by he/him

Splendor goes by they/them

(Im including Slenderwoman now so uh... 🤷)

Her hair is her tendrils.

She’s not part of the Slender bro family nor does she know they exist (though eventually she will. She’s way younger than them so)

✨Lesbian✨

Has met Slenderman tho. She hates him

Like genuinely hates his guts

She hates almost sharing a name with him.

Prefers to go by her human name; Eden

As long as you don’t use the pronouns he/him she doesn’t care.

She just kinda... appeared at the ripe age of 4? (She doesn’t remember anything past 4 so that’s what if feels like to her.)

Splendor is a switch and you can’t change my mind

Trender is also a switch

Slender doesn’t get any cause he’d kill them, purposely or not, being radioactive and all.

Eden is a top but can bottom is convinced

Offender, Splendor, Trender, and Eden can all control their radiation output so they can glitch tech when they chose and won’t hurt anyone

Slender could but doesn’t want to 🤷

They can be killed by their hearts getting impaled. The reason they don’t know that is because the skin will heal, but the heart can’t.

Offenderman’s real name isn’t Offenderman. That name was dubbed to him when people believed the rumors of him. But he kept it. He can’t really explain why but he did. And now he forgets it’s not his real name sometimes. Though he does prefer to go by Offender/Smexy.

Splendor calls him Offendy and he’s the only one allowed to do so

Trended has four arms, plus his tendrils. He can hide his second pair of arms like his tendrils but it takes energy

Getting their limbs/tendrils cut off only stings to them. They’re only in full on pain when their organs are involved

Eden’s blood has healing properties.

Someone can be turned immortal by being injected with one of the brother’s (or Eden’s) blood in large amounts. It’s extremely painful though.

Doing it slowly can ease the pain, so doing it over a week’s time nonstop will get the job done.

The injected person will be very weak after it for a couple days. A week. 2 weeks in worse cases.

The only one who’s done this is Splendor. They were dating a guy for a very long time and they told him about the procedure and he wanted it. After gaining back his strength he left Splendor. They’re not entirely over this even though it happened a long time ago.

They (mainly Offender and Trender) had to track him down and kill him. (Ya know, heart stuff)

That’s when they figured that’s probably how they could get murdered

#slenderverse #slenderman #offenderman #trenderman #splendorman #Creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #slenderverse headcanons #stars slenderverse

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hoe4almondmilk · 3 years

Text

Safety Net: Chapter 2

Present! Carol Denning/Reader

It’s been three days since you’ve been at max and it’s been honestly quite awful. You stared at the tray of food in front of you poking at it with your fork instead of eating it, you weren’t hungry and you were restless from not being able to sleep. Who could even sleep here? The lights are on constantly.

“Making art, (L/N)?” you looked up to see who the familiar voice belonged to, it was Piper with her fiancée Alex. Piper was starting to become a little more tolerable now that she was reunited with Alex. You were happy for them and honestly glad to have them here with you even if you were never particularly close with either of them during your time up at camp.

“I don’t know if I’d call it art but it’s something.” you chuckled, continuing picking at the food. “I miss camp, I feel like I'm always on edge here.”

“I definitely agree with that, sleeping with this fuckin broken arm hasn’t been pleasant.” Alex replied as she began eating her food. God, you almost felt nauseous watching someone eat. Food disgusted you right now. “You’re not pulling a Sister Ingalls are you?” Alex asked half jokingly but also sounding a little concerned.

“No, I just haven’t had much of an appetite lately, I feel sick looking at food, it’s probably just my anxiety. Also the food here looks repulsive..” you sighed.

“I don’t blame you, I would feel anxious too if I was sharing a bunk with the head of C-Block.” said Piper.

You turned your head to the left over where Carol was, she was playing cards surrounded by her posse. You and Carol haven’t really spoken much or been around each other since she basically scared you off the other day. It was kind of an unspoken rule, if Carol was in the room you stayed out of her way and hung around somewhere else until she came out which was pretty often since she was mostly out here playing cards. You were so deep in thought you forgot you were still looking in carol’s direction when you snapped back to reality you saw her staring straight at you with an emotionless expression, you quickly looked away.

“She’s actually not that bad, I mean besides telling me to get the fuck out the other day. She’s quiet and clean. except for when she’s looking at those magazines of men, that’s when it gets a little uncomfortable. I feel more sorry for you being bunkmates with Badison, Chapman.” you chuckled as Piper’s eyes rolled hearing her roomie’s name.

“Oh please don’t get her started, it will never end.” Alex groaned, rubbing her temple with her functioning hand.

“She’s giving you trouble?” You asked, actually concerned.

“Trouble doesn’t even begin to describe it. She’s a bully!” Piper exclaimed. “There is something deeply wrong with her.” Piper was normally a pretty dramatic person but you knew she wasn’t exaggerating when she was talking about Badison. You’ve only known Badison for a few days but there really was something wrong with her.

“I think there’s something deeply wrong with everyone here.” Alex replied. “They’re in maximum security for a reason.”

“I wonder what Carol did.” You said thinking out loud. “Everyone obeys her, shit even Badison is scared of her.”

“All I know is that one of her girls, Creech, is my bunkmate and I want no trouble.” Alex said, continuing to eat her food.

“Aw, look at that, all of the new cookies eatin’ together. What is this a fuckin pride parade?” you recognized that god awful bostonian accent, it was Badison as she began to sit down at your table.

“Well you know what they say about us gays, we hang out in flocks.” Alex replied sarcastically. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“I would’ve never guessed you were a carpet muncher, Mouse. I guess you learn something new everyday.” said Badison. “I better be careful, don’t want you developing a crush on me or anything.”

“I’m picky with my women, you have nothing to worry about.” Your eyes widened realizing you said that out loud. It would’ve been an awkward silence if it wasn’t for Alex’s small chuckles.

“Oh you’re a funny little thing, now aren't you?” Badison replied, still shocked by what you just said.

“I meant that I'm not really interested in dating while i’m in prison, you know?” you said trying to cover your ass for what you just said.

“I got what you meant.” Badison said slowly coming closer to you. “You should really be more careful with who you smart off too though. Don’t wanna start off on the wrong foot with anyone here. Remember what I said on your first day. We can make you want to live or die.” Badison whispered and walked her way over towards Carol.

“I’m so fucked.” You said worryingly.

“Badison’s not gonna do shit, she just wants to scare you two.” Alex said, trying to comfort you.

You nodded. You looked over your shoulder once more to see Badison next to Carol as she played a card game with the other girls. You couldn’t help but feel a small pit of worry in your stomach.

Later that evening a few hours before lights out, you decided to go take a shower, something you had been avoiding for the past few days. It’s not that you were unhygienic, it's just you had been slightly depressed from the big transition of moving from up the hill to down the hill.

You took a quick look around the shower room, thank god it was empty. Empty showers were a rarity in any prison.

It was when you were washing your hair that you heard a couple of footsteps walking in. Well, that was a nice five minutes of peace and quiet. You ignored it and continued to rinse the shampoo out of your hair. Suddenly, you felt an arm wrap around your chest and something pointy and sharp being pressed against your right jugular.

“If you scream, I swear to god I will push this into your neck. You got that?” You nodded trying to hold back your tears. The arms around you flip you over and you’re faced to see two of Badison’s friends Eckelcamp and Teng.

“What did I do?” you asked quietly and shakily, almost choking trying to hold back your tears. You’ve mostly kept to yourself this whole time here, actively trying to avoid any trouble, you certainly don’t remember doing anything to these two. This is the first time you’ve even spoken to them.

“You disrespected Badison, bitch.” Eckelcamp said, still extremely close to your face. She wrapped her hand around your neck tightly with the shiv still firmly pressed against your neck. You were barely able to breathe. “Next time Badison talks to you, have some fucking manners.” she said slamming your back hard against the shower wall. You did your best to hold back a yelp. Getting stabbed in the neck with a dirty shiv was not the move for today.

“Next time you see her, apologize.” said Teng, “We’ll be watching. Let’s get out of here before a CO comes.”

Eckelcamp nodded in agreement and looked at you once more and yanked your hair pulling you down to the hard wet tile of the bathroom and left.

You waited till you heard their footsteps disappear to crawl into a ball and sob under the now cold running water of the shower. So this is what Badison meant when she said live or die. Your hands gently rubbed your possibly bruised neck. You finished your shower and got dressed before anyone walked in and saw you like this.

Once you returned to the common room, your eyes scanned the room for Badison. You looked over at Carol’s table, her usual spot but she was absent. You met eyes with Eckelcamp and Teng. Ignoring them you made your way to Badison and Piper’s cell. You really hated the fact that you were being practically forced to apologize to her but this bitch was not worth a stab in the neck with a dirty shiv.

Once you got to the cell you saw Badison laying on her bunk and Piper in hers reading a book. You lightly knocked on the open door.

“Hey, (L/N).” Piper said smiling but her smile quickly faded almost as if she could sense something not right with you.

“Hey, Chapman.” you smiled trying to not seem suspicious, as much as you liked Piper she had a tendency to involve herself in situations that she didn’t belong in.

“The fuck do you want, Mouse?” Badison asked sarcastically as she laid up from her bunk. She knew exactly what the fuck you wanted.

“I was wondering if I could have a word with you.” You asked. “Out here. In Private.”

“Whatever you need to say you can say it here with me and Gapman.”

“Please, Badison.” You were trying to hide the impatience in your voice. Piper was already looking at you suspiciously.

“Only because you said please.” Badison said she climbed down her bunk making her way out the bunk.

You walked over under the stairs. “I wanted to formally apologize to you for disrespecting you.” You said trying to sound sincere.

“I see you met Eckelcamp and Teng.” She chuckled looking at your neck. “Oh, those are gonna be some ugly bruises tomorrow.”

“It’s not like I have anyone to look beautiful for here.” you said rubbing your neck.

“Aw, you don’t wanna look pretty for your lesbo girlfriends.” Badison said, as she made a pouty face.

“You mean Chapman and Vause? Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we’re dating eachother.” You were actually confused. Was she actually that dumb?

“What?” She looked visibly confused. “Anyway, That was a shitty apology.”

“What do you want from me, Badison?” You said already fed up.

“I don’t like you. I can look past that though if you fill up my commissary for the next two weeks. Don’t be stingy with me, (L/N). I know you got plenty of money.” She said with that sleazy fucking smile.

“Fine, deal.” You really didn’t want to do this but you also didn’t want anymore trouble with Badison or the rest of Carol’s gang.

“I accept your apology.” Badison said.

As you were about to turn around to leave you felt Badison’s foot slide under yours causing you to trip and fall hard on the ground. You heard Badison let out a loud laugh. You could feel your eyes well up with tears again and this time you didn’t even bother to stop them from flowing. Let them see you cry, you didn’t care anymore.

“Oops.” Badison said as she continued to laugh.

“(L/N), are you okay?” You heard Piper's voice as she tried to help you up. You must have hit the floor hard enough if Piper heard you fall from her cell.

“I’m fine, Chapman. Just go, don’t make this worse for the both of us.” You snapped as you stood up from the ground. You wanted to yelp from the shock of pain that shot through your body.

You looked over to see everyone at Carol’s table laughing, except for Carol. Your red puffy tear filled eyes locked with hers for a second. You looked away embarrassed. You hurried as fast as you could up the stairs to your cell. You wanted to lay down and hope you woke up from this fucking nightmare.

As soon as you reached your cell you climbed to the top bunk and crawled up into a small ball and just sobbed. You hated being seen as weak here. You didn’t like giving these people that power over you but you couldn’t help it. You were so wrong on your first day, you were finally beginning to crack. You weren’t sure how long you were crying but your sobs finally turned to small sniffles.

“You new cookies really do crumble quickly.” You heard that stern cold voice say. You lifted your head up to meet eyes with Carol. This is the second time she’s ever actually spoken to you. You quickly wiped your tears away. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna keep looking at me all pitiful?” Carol said as she leaned against the wall of the cell with her arms crossed.

“I don’t really have anything to say.” You continued to sniffle. “At least not without having to worry about getting shanked in the shower.”

“Oh, so that explains your neck.” Carol chuckled.

Damn was it really that noticeable already?

“I thought you would’ve known, your girls are the ones who did it.” You replied with a slight attitude putting your head back down.

“Whatever Badison has the other girls do has nothing to do with me.” Carol replied.

“I’ve been here for three days and you’ve never bothered to speak to me. Why the sudden change?” You asked.

“Am I bothering you?” Carol replied almost as if she was slightly offended.

“No, you’re not. Sorry, that sounded a lot ruder than it did in my head.” You rubbed your eyes, Please don’t beat my ass. You prayed. You had enough ass beatings for the rest of your sentence.

“I’m talking to you because I believe you have potential, (L/N).” Carol said with a slight smirk.

“Potential?” You asked, confused. What the hell does she mean by that?

“I want you to work for me. I can tell you’re smarter than most of these other girls here. It also makes sense considering the fact that we are sharing a cell together.” Carol said. She did have a point. Carol was not someone to be enemies with.

“I mean I guess. Look Carol, I’m just trying to keep my nose clean, do my time and-“

“And what? Avoid getting in any trouble? What happens if you get into another disagreement with another inmate and she starts a fight with you? You’re gonna get fed up with being someone’s punching bag and you’ll fight back. The COs aren’t going to see it as self defense. They’ll happily throw you into the SHU and add more time onto your sentence. Stick by me and I’ll make sure Badison or any other girls never lay a finger on you.” Carol did make a good point. “See me as a type of safety net, if you will.”

“Can you give me time to think about it?” You asked not sure if you would be able to do it.

“The offer is off the table then. Continue getting your ass beat. It’s not hurting me.” Carol said, trying to hide her annoyance.

You sat and thought about it for a minute. You knew you weren’t going to be able to just continue getting beat on. You were going to break at some point. You looked up at Carol and took a deep breath in.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” You had three years left on your sentence, that’s not a lot of time, you could do this.

“Shake on it.” Carol said coming up to you with her hand out.

You looked at her, a small smile forming at the corners of your lips. “Okay, boss.” You said as you shook her hand.

“Sit down here kid, I’m gonna show you how to play Bridge.” Carol said sitting on her bed as she began to shuffle a deck of cards.

“Bridge? Is that the game you’re always playing?” you asked as you slowly began to crawl off the top bed. Trying to ignore the pain in your sore arms and legs.

“Yep, It’s best I teach you now, you’re going to be playing a lot of it.” Carol said, laying out the cards in front of you as you sat down. “Shall we begin?”

What the hell am I getting myself into. You thought to yourself as you watched Carol explain bridge to you.

Chapter 3 here

#OITNB #Orange is the new black #orange is the new black fanfic #fanfics #carol denning x reader #carol denning #carol denning/reader

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arumin-arureruto · 3 years

Text

Honeytea PT 2

Kyoya x fem reader and Hikaru x fem reader, Kyoya angst, Hikaru slowburn.

Warnings: none

word count: 1.7k

songs to listen to while reading:

What Am I by Why Dont We

Greek God by Conan Gray

hikaru’s outfit:

Reader’s outfit (your outfit can be whatever you want this is just what I had in mind while writing <3):

Cafe Hikaru and reader are at:

you woke up with the sun shining on your eyes, reaching out to feel the spot where your husband had been sleeping cold and empty, he had already left for work. Last night was emotionally exhausting, you had a fight with Kyoya and called Hikaru while your emotions were running high, even though you woke up feeling calmer it would still be nice to see him. You decided to get up and check your phone to see if you were still on for today, there were 6 unread messages from Hikaru.

“checking if ur okay”

“meet me tomorrow at 12pm for lunch at that cafe near my house, the one Honey got banned from”

“btw how the fuck do you manage to get banned from a restaurant for eating too much cake”

*picture of a single spoon inside a sink* “lol me”

“I should probably go to bed now goodnight”

He hasn’t changed a bit since high school, that’s what was so comforting to you about Hikaru. He took you back to a time where everything was much more simpler, lazy afternoons on the grass with the host club, drinking tea by the window in music room 3 with Kyoya, study sessions with Mori and Honey, getting into all sorts of mischief with Hikaru and Kauro, quietly reading with Haruhi, piano lessons from Tamaki…

All those memories started playing back in your mind and you started to feel all warm inside, you really didn’t know how good you had it. It’s not that you weren’t happy, you were married to the man you loved, you were one of the most respected and powerful women in society, what else could you ask for? But sometimes it felt like you were missing out on something, like your world could be so much more. When you mentioned this to Kyoya a couple months ago he suggested you try for children but you quickly shot down the idea, you were 23 and he was 24, having kids right now would be too big of a responsibility.

Shaking those thoughts from your head you checked the time on your phone, 10am. You still had 2hours before you had to meet Hikaru so going back to sleep was a tempting offer, but considering the cafe was almost 30 minutes away and you got easily distracted while getting ready it would be wiser to start picking out some clothes and getting in the shower. There was about 45 minutes before a maid was supposed to come in and clean your room so you figured that should be enough time to take a quick shower, you could just ask them to wait till you were done but you always felt awkward doing so.

After zoning out for a minute you headed for the shower, got undressed, put your hair up and turned on the hot water, you already washed your hair yesterday so there was no point in washing it again. You had always loved showers, the feeling of the warm water on your skin, the sound of the water dripping on the floor and the smell of all your products were enough to wash all your problems away. After about 25 minutes in the shower you turned the water off and stepped out, already missing the warmth of the water. After quickly drying yourself off with a towel you started massaging some lotion into your skin, first your arms and then your legs, this was your favorite part of your routine. When you felt that you had enough lotion on already you put on a robe, walked out of the bathroom and towards your walk in closet. It was september so the weather was still warm, today would be a simple dress day, or as simple as you could. Downside of being married to Kyoya Ootori: having to keep up appearances ALWAYS. After picking out a dress it was time for shoes, you gravitated towards a gorgeous pair of open toed gold heels that would’ve gone really well with your dress, but your legs were still slightly sore from last night so sandals it is.

After scrutinizing every part of your outfit and make up, which in the end you decided to go with a simple eyeliner, mascara and gloss, it was already 11:15. You grabbed your purse and asked someone to bring the car around. You hurriedly walked down the large staircase, excitement clear in your step, you got inside the car and gave a quick hello to the driver.

“Good morning Mrs Ootori, where to?”

“Morning Ryuzaki, Honeytea Cafe.”

“Understood ma’am.”

After giving your instructions you pressed the button to lift the divider between the driver and the backseat, needing to be alone. You hadn’t seen Hikaru in person since your wedding reception, you talked on the phone occasionally but always for less than 2 minutes, this was the first time in months you would be in the same room again. Was it gonna be awkward? I mean you did call him yesterday late at night crying so what if he thought you were weird? No, no, this was Hikaru, your best friend since your first year of high school, everything was gonna be fine.

The 30 minute ride felt like it went by in less than 15, After getting to the cafe you told Ryuzaki to go back home and that you would call when you were done, since you didn’t know how long you would take. 11: 52pm, 8 minutes till you were supposed to meet Hikaru, meaning you had 8 minutes to get your act together.

You stepped into the cafe and scanned the place, 6 years and nothing had changed. Still the same old tall bookshelves lined the walls. The same paintings on the walls, and just like you remembered, peace and quiet. Since the cafe was a bit old fashioned it tended to attract an older crowd, old people just trying to enjoy their coffee and adults in their 30s that wanted a quiet place to work. While you continued to examine the room, lost in your own world, you felt a pair of slender hands on your shoulders and heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.

“Taking a trip down memory lane while blocking the way huh? Honestly y/n I thought commoners taught their children better manners.”

At first you were startled but then you quickly turned around to face the voice and there he was. Tall, mischievous smile and wild hair, Hikaru Hitachiin in the flesh. “Hikaru I-” you hugged him before you could even finish your sentence. You stood there with your arms wrapped around his neck in silence for a couple more seconds.

“y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re still blocking the way.”

Oh right.

Behind you 2 old ladies stood with unpleasant expressions on their faces, you both moved out of the way to let the ladies through, they walked past you and muttered something about today’s youth having no respect for their elders. You stood there slightly embarrassed, heat rising to your cheeks while Hikaru looked like he might burst out laughing.

You decide to grab a table at the very back of the cafe, away from everyone else. After you sit down Hikaru strikes a conversation. “Haven’t seen you in a year y/n, how’s married life been treating you?” He propped up his elbow and leaned his head on his hand, keeping his eyes focused on you.

Damn so we’re already on that topic.

“We’ve had our ups and downs, what about you? How are you and Kaoru doing?” Hopefully he won't bring up your phone call from yesterday. “We’re doing pretty good, Kaoru actually started seeing someone a couple months ago. Cute boy he met at an art gallery.” You could hear the tiniest hint of jealousy in the last part, but overall Hikaru sounded happy for his brother. “Oh he did? That’s cool” you stay silent for a couple seconds before proceeding with what you were saying. “And how do you feel about Kaoru seeing someone?” Hikaru’s eyes shifted from you to the table and kept them focused there. “In the beginning it was weird, I hated the idea of having to share him with someone else but now, I see how happy he is with Evan and that’s all that matters to me.” He looked up from the table to look at you and smile, then he spoke again but this time in a more playful tone. “So are we eating or what? Man were you seriously gonna let me starve? Typical Ootori.” That comment made you laugh, you really did miss him.

You both ordered and paid separately, since you knew you would argue over who would pay the bill. After you both received your food you sat down to eat, while you ate you reminisced about the past and talked about all the trouble you used to get into back in the day.

“No no, you were the one that tricked Tamaki into dressing up as Haruhi to fool the doctors during the physical exam that one time.” He laughed and pointed at you with a piece of bread. “Whaaaaat? Me? I would never, I was just an innocent bystander” you defended yourself while also laughing, then you remembered something. “No but for real that one wasn’t my idea, actually Kyoya came up with it.” Hikaru stopped laughing but still had a smile on his face, he then asked you a question.

“So Kyoya…” There was a pause before he spoke again.

“You mentioned you have your ups and downs, I’m guessing yesterday was a down?”

The food that was in your throat had trouble going down, you tried to quickly swallow and answer Hikaru’s question. “Yesterday was definitely not one of our best days” You let out a nervous laugh. Before you could elaborate a middle aged man came up to your table and asked if he could borrow one of your chairs for his daughter, seeing that you were both already finished with your food you told him he could have the chairs and got up to leave.

As you were walking out of the coffee shop Hikaru tapped your shoulder.

“Hey my house is just a 5 minute drive from here, we could go there if you wanna talk more in private.”

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host #ouran high school host club headcannons #kyoya senpai #ohshc #hikaru x reader #hikaru hitachiin #ohshc hikaru #ouran kyoya #kyoya x reader #ohshc kyoya

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neutron-stars-collision · 4 years

Text

The Art of Inversion

Neil x Reader

Chapter 9 - ‘The Kindest of Kisses Break the Hardest of Hearts”

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 (swear I’ll make a masterlist soon)

Summary: Back in London, you find unexpected help in the form of Ives. But when Neil comes back sparks fly... ✨

Warnings: Swearing.

Author’s Notes: So here’s the chapter I’m incredibly excited about... Suppose I should thank Dior for inspiration in this one. Hope you enjoy this as much as I loved writing the last scene! Please let me know what you think!

You did not remember the last time you were this happy to be back in London. After the mission in Paris was done, Jasper went back to Boston, and you were free to do what you wanted. You contacted TP, told him how the mission went (without certain details), and in return, got told to wait for more information regarding the next steps. By your estimation, it was less than two weeks left till Kiev and the day when the mysterious plan will be set into motion. You were scared.

Ever since that day in Paris when Neil called, you had a difficult time maintaining normal conversation with him. He would message asking about something as mundane as how your day went, and you would only respond with a short sentence. You could not really explain it if asked. It was as though after hearing his voice and letting yourself have that conversation with him, all the doubts came back with a tripled strength. Suddenly you could almost believe Jasper and his harsh words suggesting that you were not important in Neil’s eyes. Maybe he just liked flirting, and you were conveniently there? That sounded rather plausible. Ever since you started naming those thoughts, an ache in your chest was hard to ignore. And so you did the best you could, which in this case meant low-key ghosting Neil and losing yourself in training and work.

Surely with enough time and space, you would get over it (him), right?

That was the state of your mind the day when rather surprising help appeared. You have been back in London for a few days and have not really interacted with anyone. Usually, you would spend two hours in the shooting range and then in a sparring session. After you were done, you would retreat to your room and try to ignore the texts that were still occasionally coming.

“How’s London treating you? Say hello to Anna from me” you glanced at the screen and frowned.

The instant temptation to text back was still there. Only now, it was tainted with much more anxiety and uncertainty.

“It’s alright, rather quiet. I haven’t seen her around though. Maybe she’s moping after you”

Like I am? You sighed and chose to focus on notes from the physics class. You were saved from the study by an unexpected knock on the door. Without thinking, you got up and opened it, only to see Ives standing there with a cheeky smile on his face.

“Hi” you muttered, worried you have forgotten how to behave like a human being.

“Hello, love” he grinned “Hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“No, I was actually rather bored” you admitted with a sheepish smile.

You heard the distinct buzz of a text message but chose to ignore it. You were slowly getting better at the game.

“That’s terrific because I thought we could have a coffee in the canteen and chat” Ives’ thick cockney accent was somewhat adorable.

And you could definitely do with a distraction.

“I’d love that” you beamed back at him and left the room, locking the door behind you.

As you walked side by side along the corridor, you struggled to say something.

“How did you know I’m here?” finally you settled for a rather easy question.

“I’ve seen you at the shooting range in the morning” he watched you closely for a short moment “You’re fucking amazing, did you know that?”

“Oh no, I’m really not” you felt your face heat up.

“Yeah you are” he playfully nudged you in the side “You could probably teach me a thing or two”.

You glared at him and then quickly considered your options.

“Only if you taught me how not to be knocked out within the first two minutes of the hand in hand combat” you knew you could use help in that department.

“Deal?” Ives stopped and turned to you with an outstretched hand.

“Deal” you shook it with a grin.

Once you made it to the mess hall, you noticed with relief that it was rather quiet. You both made coffee and sat down at the table in the corner. After a few moments of comfortable silence when you sipped your drinks, Ives spoke up:

“What have you been up to?” he was eyeing you curiously.

Even though you barely knew him, you felt at ease. There was no enigma of TP to him or Neil’s intensity. Instead, he was just a friendly bloke with sharp wits.

“Oh you know, shit mission in New York and now even shittier one in Paris” you frowned at the fresh memories “Though I suppose the recent one at least ended with success” you mused.

It was true not all of your missions have ended with a huge fuck up. And that was somewhat encouraging.

“With Jasper?”

“Yeah” your frown deepened, and Ives grinned.

“My condolences. He’s a right pain in the ass”

“Well said” you laughed, finally feeling some of the tension of the last few days dissolve.

But it was not meant to be for long. Before either of you spoke again, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of the pocket and glanced at the received text. It was him, of course. You grimaced and placed the phone screen down on the table as if to avoid the temptation. All the while you felt Ives’s attentive gaze. He has not missed a thing.

“Neil?” he asked, watching you closely with a neutral face.

“Yeah…” you shrugged, avoiding his stare “I’ll probably sound pathetic… but do you know where he is?”

Once the question was out of your mouth, you felt your cheeks heat up. It was one thing to worry about him daily. Another to actually voice the worries. But Ives did not seem to mind. He quickly considered something before leaning over the table.

“He’s in India, dealing with some sudden disruption. I was there with him in the beginning” at your unspoken question, he added “He’s fine, often said that’s partially thanks to you” he eyed you carefully, and you looked down at the table, flustered.

“It’s more that if I wasn’t there, he wouldn’t even need help in the first place” you mumbled, feeling the guilt gnaw at your heart.

Still, sometimes you kept wondering why on earth had he decided to shield you back in the bar. But any possible answer to the question meant having to assume something about Neil’s intentions. And that was dangerous territory.

“Should I ask?” Ives’ question brought you back to the present moment.

“Better not” you smiled wryly, and he just nodded.

“He wouldn’t shut up about you sometimes, you know” he spoke up again after a short silence, making you look up.

You were not sure you liked the cheeky smirk that appeared on Ives’ face. You were not going to give in.

“He’ll get over it in no time, I’m sure” you feigned nonchalance as you finished your coffee and met his gaze.

“Are you two good?”

You just shrugged. To be frank, you had no clue how to answer that. Was there even such an entity as ‘you two’ when it came to you and Neil?

“Well, whatever is going on, know that I’m ready to slap some sense into him if needed” Ives grinned at you, and you beamed back.

“Appreciated”

The next few minutes passed in companionable silence. That is until your brain rudely decided to suggest another pressing question.

“Is he there… alone?” you cringed as soon as you said it aloud.

No point in trying to sound disinterested…

“Nah, Wheeler stayed with a couple of others” his stare was way too knowing.

You felt a sharp stab of pain in your heart. What even… There was no reason to be jealous. Right? As you were internally debating what the new feelings were supposed to mean, you failed to notice Ives’ grinning at your distress.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous” he was enjoying it way too much.

“What? No, I’m not” you tried to scoff at this insinuation but failed miserably.

“Yeah, you are” that’s how you learnt that Ives had his own version of a shit-eating grin.

Was that a part of the Tenet work application?

“Mate, Neil and Wheeler wouldn’t fuck each other even if I paid them. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you” Ives wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you groaned.

You glared at him, unable to come up with any good response.

“What? I may have only seen you two together once, but it was clear to me that dear Neil is interested. Very much so” he smirked at your wide-eyed stare “But I don’t think that’s in any way news for you” he squinted his eyes as though trying to see right through your soul.

“Please, let’s leave psychoanalysis for another date” you grabbed the phone from the table and looked at him pleadingly.

“Of course” he grinned “When shall we have our first sparring lesson?”

“Tomorrow morning. Be there at 9” you got up “Thanks for the chat”

“Anytime, love” he waved as you left the canteen.

*** Combat lessons with Ives have proven to be a gift from the gods in the days that followed. He would accompany you to the shooting range afterward as well under the pretence of wanting to learn from you. Even though you were sure it was utter bullshit as he could hit the marks as well as you, if not better, you appreciated the sentiment. To say that his help in the sparring sessions meant you have greatly improved would be an overstatement, but certainly, additional tips slowly started to make a difference. All that distraction meant you also spent much less time wondering about Neil’s whereabouts and asking yourself existential questions about your own feelings. That was probably the best outcome of the situation.

Another morning of the sparring session began with you and Ives meeting in the gym as usual.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked as you entered the gym.

“More or less” you grinned, stifling a yawn.

Last night you spent way too much time overthinking the text exchange with Neil. All it took was for him to mention ‘the fun you had in New York’ and then compare it to the recent night undercover. To you, it meant that Jasper was right, and you were just another ‘flirting companion’. And that shit hurt.

“That will have to do then” he tossed a water bottle in your direction, and you caught it easily.

You set it down on the side and the mat and stood facing Ives. After a short warm-up, he began showing you the way of blocking punches aimed at your upper body. While the demonstration always looked easy, once you went onto the practice, you have begun to struggle. After getting a third light punch to the shoulder, you huffed:

“Maybe I should just give up and become a sniper” you rubbed the aching spot.

“That could work” he grinned “Though I’m not sure how Neil would feel about that career change”

“Fuck Neil” you made sure to put up your guard, expecting another punch.

“I see how it is” Ives smirked before he threw a hit towards your other shoulder.

This one you blocked. And the one afterward as well. Slowly, with only a few mistakes, you got the hang of the game. That is until you were interrupted by someone clearing their throat by the door. You both turned to see Anna standing there.

“Y/N, can I speak to you for a moment?” she sent you a fake smile.

Christ…

“Of course”

You looked at Ives with panic in your eyes before you followed her into the corridor. Anna was clearly uncomfortable with having to talk to you, and that did not ease the tension.

“What’s the matter?” you spoke up first, hating the awkwardness of the moment.

“Neil called me yesterday” she paused, and you frowned.

“Yeah?” if she wanted to torture you, she has succeeded.

“He wanted me to let you know that they got Steiner in New York” despite Anna’s best attempts at keeping her face neutral, you knew she was enjoying this.

“Okay, thanks” you smiled weakly, trying to ignore the jealousy building up in your chest.

“Oh, and he says he should be back next week” now she was smiling dazzlingly.

“Great” you mumbled and showed her your brightest grin “Thank you”

With that, you chose to end the tortures for you both and went back into the gym. At Ives’ questioning stare, you just glared. He understood instantly.

“Fuck Neil?” he offered you a sip from the water bottle, which you gladly accepted.

“Mhmm”

There was so much to unpack from what Anna told you. Partially, you knew your ghosting was to be blamed for the situation but still, it hurt. Especially the unspoken fact that Neil has called her. You knew you were being ridiculous but could not ignore the feelings that were attacking every fibre of your being.

“Ready for another round?” Ives looked at you worriedly.

“Absolutely”

*** A few days later, as you left a meeting covering suspicious activity around London, your head was most certainly elsewhere. Ever since the awkward situation with Anna, you were not sure what to do with yourself. Only carefree moments were those you spent in the shooting range or learning hand to hand combat with Ives, who was surprisingly great at distracting you.

Walking along the corridor, you were too busy worrying about all those texts you have ignored to see where you were going. With eyes trained on the floor, you barely registered the surroundings. And that is why you were incredibly surprised when you unexpectedly collided with something solid standing on your path.

“Fuck” you muttered before slowly realising that you have, in fact, walked into a person.

You felt someone’s hands reach out to steady you by wrapping around your waist. The next thing you registered was the smell. A very familiar one that you have tried to repress from memory for the past few weeks. You felt panic surge through your whole body before you let out a long exhale and lifted your head.

“Didn’t expect our reunion to be that dramatic, but I’m not complaining” Neil grinned at you with that smug look on his face you have grown to hate.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you” you choose to stare at his tie.

A nice burgundy one which he has worn in New York, during the mission. At the memory, your cheeks grew somehow warmer, and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to be swallowed by the earth. But to no avail.

“Are you alright?” his voice broke through the increasing paralysis.

“Yeah” you forced yourself to look up at him again.

The concern in his eyes only made your desire to run stronger. But his grip on your waist was unyielding. You were acutely aware of standing in the middle of the corridor. Anyone could pass by and see you like that. But it looked like Neil did not care.

“I tried calling you last night” his voice was tense.

Shit.

“Sorry I was busy” you were a terrible liar.

And, of course, he saw right through you. You noticed how the look in his eyes went from concern to serious worry, and you desperately wanted to flee the scene. He was studying your face, and you tried to look anywhere but at him. After a beat, he must have found some answers in your conflicted expression because he relaxed the grip on your waist, giving you a way out.

“If I said anything wrong…” you were thrown off by the slightly wounded look in his eyes.

Now that you actually could run away, you did not want to. Not without making sure he understood.

“You haven’t” you took a deep breath, trying to calm the racing heart “It’s… just things that Jasper said and stuff… it made me think” you mentally groaned, annoyed at how you could not form a coherent sentence.

But Neil understood as he nodded and reached for your hand. You let him lead you to a quieter spot in the adjacent corridor. You were still paralyzed with conflicting feelings, but now also curious. The voice in the back of your head kept on reminding you how much you have missed him. You had your back pressed against the wall and stared as he slowly stepped closer, making your personal space non-existent. It was suddenly hard to think about the reasons why you should not let him be this close. The look in his eyes was unreadable to you.

“I don’t know what that idiot told you or what’s going on in your head, but it’s all wrong” you felt his free hand slide up your arm to rest on your neck and gently caress the skin there.

It was embarrassing how you responded to his touch with your body tensing and goosebumps appearing where his fingers made contact with your skin. It was hard to lie, even to yourself.

“Why should I believe you?” your voice sounded breathless already.

You knew you should have never let him get this close before you talked. But still, the way he looked at you was surprising. Any train of thought was interrupted when he brushed the pad of his thumb over your lower lip. His eyes were darker than usual, and the intensity of his gaze alone made the flutters in your stomach appear.

“I’ve got a few reasons”

Gently he tilted your chin and covered your lips with his. You gasped at the contact and felt him smile against your mouth. Then, as though a switch was flipped, Neil started kissing you hungrily, and you responded in kind, letting your teeth graze his lower lip. When his hand wrapped around your neck, you felt lightheaded and breathless. But still, you deepened the kiss, making all the feelings you have tried to stifle lead the moment. It was scaringly easy to do. Only once you felt like you had no breath left, you broke the kiss and stared back at Neil with a dazed expression. That was not what you expected from your reunion.

“Hope that beat whatever Jasper had to offer you” he grinned, and you enjoyed the sight of his subtly swollen lips.

“Please don’t remind me” surprisingly, you could still form a sentence.

But that ability was soon to be gone as you watched mischievous sparks shine in his eyes. His lips curled into a smirk, and you knew you were fucked. In every meaning of the word. Before you could react, he leaned in closer again, kissed the corner of your mouth before leaving a trail of kisses down to your jawline, and then crook of the neck.

“Neil…” you breathed out, trying to somehow stop the situation from getting out of your hands.

“Yes?” he interlocked his fingers with yours, pinning your joined hands to the wall.

Perfect leverage. Thinking was getting increasingly difficult.

“I… I’ve missed you” that was not exactly what you wanted to say.

You heard him chuckle with his lips brushing the skin on your neck.

“Quite right” he kissed the spot beneath your ear “Too”.

You sighed at the sensation, tightening the grip on his hand and letting your other palm splay on his chest. Through the fabric of his shirt, you could feel the fast heartbeat. It was somewhat encouraging to know that it was not just your heart that was beating wildly. He was kissing your neck with something akin to reverence, which made you feel faint. The traces of reason left in your brain started screaming for attention.

“Neil” you huffed, annoyed at how you were unable to voice the mess of thoughts.

Slowly he lifted his head and looked back at you.

“I really like how you say my name” the roguish grin that began it all was back to haunt you “So breathless” his voice was huskier than usual.

He wanted to kill you, evidently.

You met his gaze helplessly, feeling vulnerable with how he could see right through you. He looked almost fascinated by your stunned expression. Then his eyes softened.

“I missed you too” you felt his hand travel down your body to settle on the hip “So much”.

That admission was all it took for you to lose it. Again. You leaned in and initiated another kiss, unable to deny the need you felt. Neil was ready as he easily matched the tempo you have set. This time neither of you wanted to rush it. Instead, you kissed slowly and delicately, enjoying the careless moment. You tangled your hand in his blonde strands, tugging lightly to bring him even closer. He groaned at the sensation, making you feel a new kind of tension. You wanted him to make that sound again. But before you could find ways of achieving that, on the periphery of your attention, you heard the distinctive sound of footsteps approaching fast. Then they stopped abruptly and were replaced with a shocked gasp.

You opened your eyes and found yourself staring straight at Anna. Fuck. She was frozen in the spot three meters away and had a bewildered expression on her face. You knew there was no way in hell she has not realised what was going on. You could only watch as her face scrunched up in a scowl before she turned on her heels and almost ran back down the corridor. That image was enough to help you wake up from the daze. Gently you disentangled from Neil, who looked confused. Despite the reality of the situation downing on you, you grinned seeing his ruffled hair and disoriented gaze.

“Well done, now Anna hates me” you warily eyed the corridor before settling your eyes on him again.

You watched as he slowly absorbed the information, frowned, and then brightened up again when he met your gaze.

“Pretty sure she did already” he eyed you carefully as though assessing the state he brought you to.

Conscious of how you looked, you smoothed your hair and patted your blazed cheeks. There was no pretending that nothing happened, even if you wanted to.

“Why?” you arched your eyebrow at the implication.

“You know why” he just smiled as though it explained everything.

You didn’t know why. At all. You watched as he ruffled his hair even further by combing a hand through it, and your eyes settled on the exposed forearm and rolled up sleeves. For some reason seeing him like that was very thought-provoking. You knew he caught your stare when you heard him chuckle.

“Like what you see?” it was that smug smirk again.

You could not help but roll your eyes at him. This time the voice of reason was not so easily ignored.

“We really should talk before…” you did not even want to finish the sentence.

“Before?” Neil took a step closer again.

“Before we do something much more reckless than… this” you gestured vaguely and took a step back.

“Would that really be so bad?” he bit his lip and eyed you curiously again.

You have had enough. Placing a hand on his chest, you pushed him back. That clearly surprised him.

“Let’s just talk. Please” you put on your best puppy eyes just for him.

That did the job. Thankfully.

“Couldn’t say no to that” he grinned and took your hand in his “C’mon”

Now you just had to figure out what to tell him. The only issue was that you had no idea about how you felt… Fun.

#tenet #neil tenet #neil tenet x reader #neil x reader #neil tenet imagine #neil tenet fanfic #tenet fanfic #robert pattinson #the art of inversion

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dilf-hater-blog · 3 years

Text

Invisible Lives (s.r. x fem!reader)

(age gap, reader being dense as hell, awkward tension, only one bed cliché)

Summary: Pairing two of the most average-looking Avengers seemed like a good plan on pen and paper, but when asked to pose as a couple, it seems as if God was finally telling Steve to admit his feelings towards you. (2.5k words)

a/n: there WILL be a part 2! stay tuned :]

“Alright you two, do we need to go over it one more time?” Tony asks and your consciousness felt like it wasn’t in your body.

“Okay! It looks like we need to go over the mission AGAIN. Pay attention this time.” he calls out your name and looks at you

“Sorry.” He just nods and suddenly, pictures show up on the screen.

“You and Capsicle will go undercover here.” he points to the screen and the picture enlarges, “It’s a remote village in France, we think HYDRA has a facility right under this house over here.” a red circle appears beside a house in a somewhat suburban area. “And you, our lovely couple, shall stay over here.” he points to the house right beside the encircled one.

Steve looks over at you and squints his eyes “Are you getting all of this?”

“Uhh yeah, I just...we’re staying right beside them?” “Pretty much, just you and Rogers alone in a house while an evil terrorist organization is RIGHT beside you guys-”

“Tony.” The disappointment in Steve’s voice was evident and Tony rolls his eyes, “We’re a call away kid, we’ll be in the neighboring city. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

You let out a shaky breath and both men look over at you “You’ll do fine, now, we have to go over your roles.” Steve’s and your picture show up on the screen with text right beside it.

“Rogers, your name would be George Blaine. You’re 32 and you like...I don’t know, history books?” you burst out laughing and when they both look at you, you clear your throat.

“Your name would be Ivy Webster, and you can both thank fake name generators for those. Ivy Webster is 20 and-”

“Why do they have such a big age gap?” Steve questions.

“Makes them focus on something else other than asking more questions.”

“Carry on.” “You’re both in a relationship.” Your heart drops and your eyes dart over to Steve, he’s fidgety and he keeps crossing and uncrossing his arms.

“Tony, you said we were playing siblings?” “Last minute change of plans, it’ll be a lot more convincing if you play lovers-“ while he’s talking, he walks over to a side table and opens a drawer.

“Here are the promise rings and do take care of those.” Tony hands a ring to Steve and you, you wear it on your left hand’s ring finger.

“Just remember, no storming their base, no blowing of covers, act casual and just do whatever you guys do. We leave in 3 hours.”

♡

“Act normal, we’ll be fine.” you chant like a mantra while you’re folding clothes and placing them in your luggage. A knock sounds “Mr. Rogers is at your door, should I let him in?” “Yes FRIDAY, thank you.”

Steve gives you a tight-lipped smile while he walks over to sit at your bed.

“You feeling okay?”

“No, I’m anxious and scared and-” You let out an exasperated sigh

“Why?” You stop to think.

“I...it’s my first time going undercover like this, and HYDRA would just be right beside us and-”

“Doll, you have nothing to worry about, not while I’m there with you.” Steve cuts you off and you give each other a tight-lipped smile “and besides, Tony did say act natural, you’ll be fine doll.” he leaves the room and you lay sprawled out on your bed.

You close your eyes and steady your breathing, everything you need is in your suitcase, you’ll be safe, there will be a terrorist organization right beside you, you and Steve will pretend to be lovers-

Your breathing quickens and your heart rate speeds up, your palms sweat and suddenly there’s a bang on the door. “Kid come on! Let’s go! Meet-up was 30 minutes ago!” fuck, did the time go by THAT fast? You grab your suitcase, and your extra bags; the door slides open, and Tony glances over at you, “Kid, this is an undercover mission, you look like you’re going to the Bahamas.” you try to suppress the urge to laugh but you burst out laughing.

“Sorry, Tony.” you apologize.

“Nah kid it’s alright, I just noticed you were nervous so I had to do something.”

“Thanks.” He pats you on the back and walks you over to the quinjet.

The door opens and you’re greeted with some of the Avengers just sitting around, “Glad to see you’re early.” Nat suddenly speaks up behind you and you turn around.

“Sorry I-” “Was rehearsing about how your date with Steve is gonna go?” Sam cuts you off and Steve pipes up from the cockpit “Come on, stop harassing the poor girl, she’s gonna go into shock if you keep teasing her.” you mouth out an ‘it’s fine’ to Sam and Nat and they smile at you, Sam suddenly makes his way past you and to the Captain.

“You two are gonna play LOVERS, all ALONE in a house...might as well tell the poor girl what you’re FEELING.” you could hear Sam’s voice all the way from the back and then you hear Steve’s shushing “Will you keep it down?” he whisper-shouts and Nat giggles.

“What’s Steve feeling? Is he nervous too?” you ask her and Nat just laughs harder.

“What? What is it?!” You start to panic and Tony pats you on the back “Alright! We’re ready to go!” He claps his hands and you sit down and buckle in while everyone else does the same.

Tony sits by the cockpit and the telltale feelings of nervousness disappear.

♡

You wake up to a feeling on your shoulder and Nat smiles at you. “Is she up now?” Tony looks behind him and you give him a thumbs up. Steve walks over to you and smiles down at you, he unbuckles your seatbelt and he offers his hand, you take it and he pulls you up.

Tony stands up from his seat in the cockpit and walks over to you, “Okay, we’ll drop you off at a safehouse. From there you are officially George Blaine and Ivy Webster, you’ll use these-” he hands both of you fake passports and IDs “-and the house telephone immediately connects you to us.” Steve nods.

“How will we get to the house?” you ask and everybody turns toward you.

“Oh, Capsicle is driving you guys. It’s not like the old man can’t drive.” everybody snickers except for Steve who has somewhat of a disappointed smile on his face. “Go fix up, we’re landing in 3.”

The plane shakes and you almost fall but a pair of arms stop you from colliding face-first with the ground “Easy does it.” Steve sits you back down and Tony turns his chair towards you, “We haven’t even landed and you guys are already in love, gross.”

“Do you want me to call Pepper?” Nat asks and Tony’s eyes grow big.

“That’s what I thought, now, keep your eyes on the sky.” Tony turns his chair back around and you all laugh.

The quinjet descends and you feel a short period of moving around before you come to a complete stop. “You need to work on the landing Cap.” Sam remarks and Steve just sighs under his breath and mumbles “I know.”

You pull your luggage along and sling your extra bag onto your shoulder and the quinjet doors open. You’re greeted by Nick Fury and the rest of the Avengers.

“Hey doll!” someone exclaims and you squeal.

“Bucky!” he picks you up with ease and spins you around.

“How was the flight?” “It was okay.” he nods and calls Steve over, they shake hands and start a conversation, you see Wanda and Nat talking so you decided to go over to them.

“Oh hey!” Wanda gives you a hug and whispers in your ear, “You’ll be fine right?” “Yes mom, I’ll be alright.” we all burst out in laughter until Nick Fury calls everyone over.

“I don’t want anyone blowing their covers, got it?” everyone simultaneously nods “We’re here for recon, we’re NOT on vacation, are we clear?” everyone nods once again, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“Blaine and Webster, go get ready.” both you and Steve nod and you pick up your bags. “I’ll help you doll.” Bucky carries your bags.

“Oh no! It’s fine.” you wave your hands in front of you and Bucky just shakes his head.

“It’s alright doll, I insist.” he gives you a warm smile.

“Come on guys.” Steve opens the trunk of the car and you just give Bucky a sympathetic smile.

Both men start loading the car and Nat and Wanda surprisingly give you a hug. “Guys, I’ll be back.” “Yeah but we won’t be seeing you and we’ll probably miss you.” Nat rebuts and you all just laugh. You hear the trunk close and then the two men talking to each other.

“That’s probably my cue to leave.” you let go of the two women and they give you a sad smile.

“‘Till the end of the line,” Bucky says and Steve just gives him a smile.

“Be careful with her.” Bucky eyes Steve and he just nods.

Everyone waves you goodbye and you enter the car, Steve drives off and suddenly, silence greets the both of you again. It was pretty awkward so he puts on a random radio station, it played some old French songs and it sort of eased the tension; it was still pretty awkward so he clears his throat and you bring your knees up to your chest. It was pretty late in the afternoon and the sun was setting, you looked out the window and you see the countryside, the sun disappears behind the copious amount of houses by the water.

“You ever been to France?” Steve cuts the silence and you look over at him.

“Non monsieur, et toi?” you ask him, and he just smiles whilst still paying attention to the road.

“I think I have, we were only out at sea though.” you turn your body to face him.

“That’s a story for another time, but tell me, how do you know French?” he asks and you laugh.

“I don’t know it per se but I know SOME phrases, I learned it in like the 10th grade.” You snicker and he just raises his eyebrows to acknowledge your sentence.

“Well, they didn’t teach us that good in art school,” he remarks and you give him an amused smile.

“They probably did, Bucky showed me some of your drawings, especially the one you did of me; I’d say you’re pretty good!” you chirp and his eyes widen.

“Buck did what?! I swear to God-”

“It’s fine! Your drawings are really nice, I appreciate you taking in this face.” you bring your hand to point at your face and he just laughs.

“Do you...do you like Bucky?” there was a bit of silence, you fiddle with the end of your shoelace and think about your answer.

“Yeah I do.” there was silence on Steve’s end and you could hear yourself gulp.

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s a pretty good friend.” you continue and you hear Steve’s sigh of relief, his composure was back to normal and the small conversation you had just eased up the tension a little.

You lost count of the time due to the constant playing of French love songs, it was nighttime when you finally reached the house you were staying at. The neighboring houses around the area were quiet, most especially the one besides yours; the lights were closed and you could only hear the sound of a cricket in the distance. Steve turns the engine off and opens the trunk of the car.

“Do you want some help with your bags?” he asks and you nod.

“Yeah hold on, let me open the front door.” you turn the key and you’re greeted with an average-looking house, it was semi-furnished with some labeled boxes scattered around the house. You flip a switch and the living room lights open, Steve follows after, holding both of your bags while having his bag slung on his shoulder.

You both enter the house and you look around whilst flipping some light switches in the process. He climbs up to the second floor and you follow him shortly after; he enters the first room and to your horror, there’s a big master bed by the middle and some drawers and closets around the room.

“It’s a pretty cozy house.” he drops the bags by the bed and acts as if he didn’t see the same thing I saw. Steve explores the other rooms while I tail right behind him, the only other room on the second floor was a bathroom and an empty room with a stack of labeled boxes in it.

“Probably a guest bedroom.” I shrug and he closes the door to the empty room, he goes back to the main bedroom and starts unpacking his clothes.

“You fit that many clothes in a tiny bag?” you question and he just laughs.

“I didn’t know what else to bring.” you burst out laughing and he just gives you a shy smile, you both unload clothes in silence and he yawns. You fold the last bit of your clothes and place them in the drawer on the opposite side of the room, Steve sat on the bed and he rubs his eyes; you take your toiletries to the bathroom and stock up, you do your nightly routine and return to the bedroom.

You see Steve all sprawled out on the bed and you snicker.

“Tired, are we?” he sighs and gives you a smile.

“You think?” He waves you over and he sits up, patting the empty spot right next to him. He stands up and grabs a blanket from the closet and lays it down on the floor, you immediately stand up.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Making my bed.” he continues and places pillows on the carpeted floor.

“Wha- no-no, you’ll sleep on the bed!” you exclaim and he turns to look at you.

“Are you...okay with that?” you tilt your head.

“Well, yeah, I’ve slept on the floor multiple times.” you pat down the blanket he just laid out and you sit down on it, he shakes his head and extends his arm, you tilt your head once more and you take his hand; he pulls you up.

“No doll, I meant are you okay with us sharing a bed?” you walk over to sit down by the edge of the bed.

“Oh I don’t mind.” he looks down at his feet and he nods, he sits on the bed, making sure to put a hell of a distance between each other. You lay down against the pillows and snuggle in with the comforter, trying to get comfortable; Steve does the same and he gets into bed as well.

He turns to face you and you could feel his eyes staring into your soul, the lights were turned off but the moonlight captured his face enough.

“Goodnight doll.”

“G’night.” you slowly close your eyes, unaware of the blue eyes still lovingly staring at you.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #captain america x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction

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