#i think as an artist/writer/creator you have no choice but to get a little weird with your characters

[ilgaksu]

i will now be referring to this situation as weimargate, because i must laugh or i will dissolve into the void.

aka i have had a VERY weird experience of it in fandom lately, and it has escalated to memes in lieu of interpretative dance*, but also i want to talk about it because i think, in more general terms, it's relevant for discussion about how fandom is evolving.

(*as illustrated by @difeisheng because i am personally intimidated by photoshop. interpretative dance would've only had me to blame.)

so. hi! if you don't know me, i am an ao3 writer who goes by the pen name ilgaksu. i have 179 fics on my ao3 account, and of those, 46 of these are for DMBJ or grave robber's chronicles. i've been writing in this fandom for roughly three years, which means according to the laws of mathematics and my own inability to stop posting about my favourite blorbos, that's a new fic every 3.39 weeks. i have not counted chapter updates in this count, but given several have multiple chapters, i think we can see there's....a lot. one ongoing series is currently sitting at about 200k, word-count wise. i like to write, overall, about disability, reclamation, legacy and memory. i also overuse semi-colons.

i am also a very private person at this point in my fandom career. this will be the first post i've made in a while talking about myself where i have allowed there to be reblogs on it. this isn't intended as an affront to anyone else in fandom. my ask box is open, sans anon, and in the last few years, i chose to reply to every comment i could to make sure i still get to engage about the characters i love without compromising my own desire for privacy about my personal life. i choose to work under an explicit persona - because we all do on the internet but i have made mine obvious and enunciated and almost a brand - because i think there is something freeing about allowing myself that experience. it's allowed me to write work that i relate to deeply without having to divulge my life to be analysed by strangers on the internet. generally, i like to post my silly little stories, talk to people about them, and then go about my day offline.

anyway, so this week, i seriously considered walking away wholesale from my current fandom, and i'd actually like to talk about why, and talk about me as a person as opposed to the narrative of persona that i've crafted.

because the reality of a persona is that a real, living person is required to animate it. if i am the person who is small and human and anxious to even speak about this, then i am also the reason the operation is running. it's a one-man show. as much as i want my work to speak for itself without my need to justify its meaning or worth, without my experiences, research and choices about my time, the work would not exist. that's just fact. it's fact for every writer and artist and podficcer and person who labours out of love you see. i also deliberately consider myself a writer as opposed to a content creator, because i believe that label mimics a wider culture i have no interest in - that of someone creating a consumable, ownable object. my fanfiction is a hobby. it cannot be owned by other people. unlike my original work, where it can be bought, there is no formal, explicit contract between me and the reader. there is, however, in fandom, an implicit social contract of equality and collaboration, where we are all equals. i am fundamentally no better than someone who never writes fic and never wants to and never will. i reject the idea of superiority among fans because i do not engage in subculture to mimic the dominant culture, the one that tells me stories are something only certain people are allowed to see themselves in, or even tell to others; that production is the only means of social capital and intrinsic worth.

i am aware, also, that by being private the way i am, i end up sacrificing some experiences that i could have by being more accessible, but i want to reiterate that i have never gone out of my way to conceal my tumblr, nor ignored people who contacted me directly to talk about my fic. in fact, if you show up to talk about my fic, i will probably be so thrilled i'll never let you leave - especially since, when it comes to a majority of it - i spend a lot of time on research, something i enjoy, and deliberately cite my research in the notes because i want to share it as part of the experience of my writing. clearly, i want ideas i have come up with to be enjoyed and loved and shared, because otherwise why would i take the risk of putting them out online, where i then cannot control how they're received or transformed?

however, since about a year ago, i've maintained a policy of works based on my own that i've had outlined clearly in my profile on ao3 here:

as someone who is playing in someone else's sandbox for free myself, my only request is if when you use an idea, usually a headcanon, which is one i created, which you can as much and in whatever way you want because that is the nature of collaborative fandom and the reason i love it so much, you cite that i was the originator of the idea. and secondly, that you let me know. this is a personal request based on how writing can be a very lonely project, even in fandom. you put your work out into the world, with no sense of who it will reach and if it will mean anything to them, and you have to work on the faith that even if it doesn't, the work itself was worthwhile. but you hope it will, because everyone hopes it will.

all of this is outlining so it's understandable to people that read this how i was completely off my face bewildered when i found out a headcanon of mine had reached the level of fanon popularity where it's been mistaken for canon, and has been for over a year at the very least, and i had literally no idea this had happened.

which, frankly, was both hilarious, in a very bizarre way, and completely, deeply sucked.

i know this is my idea because of how distinctive it is, and how much it contravenes canon - namely, that a character, hei xiazi, was a medical student in berlin during the weimar republic. i know it's mine because the timeline with the canon we're told by the actual writer of the source material doesn't match up, which i was aware of and chose to retcon. it was designed and fitted to a personal interpretation of canon material i had been working on for years, and involved a lot of time and research and intense love for the era, the character, and the ways a story about being alone in a foreign country had intertwined with my own personal life. ever since i wrote it, i assumed that the one or two people who had used it with credit were the only ones who had, and because they had honoured my request i was honestly completely thrilled. i still am that those fics exist. that's because it was collaborative.

i want to be clear: nothing about the situation as it stands has been collaborative. a writer being the last to know about the commonality of their own idea in a small fandom is not collaborative. and while it might not bother everyone, it's bothered me to the point i've had serious consideration for several days about whether i should walk away from the fandom.

but ilgaksu, surely you should be flattered that people liked the idea so much?

yes. this was never about the use of the idea. it's about the way this idea has been isolated and used with an assumption that i would have no interest in knowing, or that i would even need to know. i'm not sure what has caused this - whether the persona element of my work has led people to believe i would not have any emotions about finding this out, but i am not, actually, a persona. i am the person who uses it. and as the person who uses it, this is how it felt to find this out. it felt, and still feels uncomfortable, hurtful and isolating to find out your idea has been so beloved but that nobody considered whether you would like to know. it feels like the collaborative element of fandom has been severed from you, specifically, and that your fanwork has been treated as entirely other from you as a fan. i hope nobody else making work feels like this, and i've been told this situation is so strange as to ensure that's hopefully not the case, but i think this is an ongoing issue more widely - the idea that writers are separate from fan culture, and their works are products as opposed to the shared results of a hobby.

do i think this was deliberate? not at all. do i think this was intended to be hurtful? not even in the slightest. but i want to be clear how personal this feels.

i don't have an answer for this situation. the cat is out of the bag, ilgaksu knows about the fanon, and hei xiazi is, despite all canon, going to medical school in 1920s germany. expressing my discomfort with how this has gone down feels important to me anyway, and it's also important to me that i do it in this very detailed way so that people who were unaware do not feel personally at fault, or feel like by me expressing this i am taking this idea back from them. i always wanted this idea to be loved and to be shared.

i also always hoped this idea would find people who wanted and needed a story about someone a long way from home following an ambition, and how much fear and hope and desire goes into the decision to do something like that, and what it means to be a disabled person in a foreign country, and what it means to be queer in a foreign country, and overall what it means to be a stranger in a strange land. i want to be clear that while i wrote this for me, i also wrote it for everyone who has also lived that. i want my work to feel like someone is holding your hand, not that they're at a distance and disregarding you, the reader, and the relationship we have together during the time you read my work.

i hope in future that if you use my headcanons and are aware of that being the case, you let me know. i don't have to read the work itself if you find that intimidating. i will not go out of my way to find it. whatever you've done with the idea, i will fundamentally see it as a compliment and evidence of an exchange between us as a fandom. but i want to know because otherwise, all i see is you taking something i loved and wanted to share and enjoying it with a door firmly shut between us. i am too old to care if i'm not invited to a party, but if the party is themed around a concept i put so much thought and love - for the source material, the people who were going to read it and myself - i can't help but care. it's hard to feel like a vending machine, even if the process of making the fic is so joyful for me that i won't stop until the joy is gone. it hasn't gone yet, but this week it's been dented a bit.

anyway - if you got to the end of this, thank you. please be considerate of how much this has taken for me to express, regardless of your own feelings on it, and how unusual it is for me to make a post that is able to be shared. if you use the idea in future, you do so with my blessing, which was always there. if you want primary sources, places to start, or anything like that - fashion, language, visuals - i want to be clear you can ask me and i will be beyond thrilled to help. i always have been and i'm concerned that because of this that hasn't been clear. but i also feel like if i don't state this experience in this way at this time, and how it was experienced by me, odds are i will now forever look over my shoulder and wonder if this will happen again, and i love writing for this fandom so much that i will not allow something like that to dim that love. i know you love these characters so much too - it's why you're here. i actually used to make a lot more meta posts like this, about fan culture, and i've been considering if i will again - just less personal and less anxiety-inducing to post next time. until and beyond then, i just hope we can all consider things like this in future - that i can treat you with the same grace - and understand the pressures and anxieties of writers in fandom at this point in time especially. a lot of us have hearts far more made of glass about the things we love, like our work, than can be immediately apparent.

anyway, i'm going back into hiding now.

your friendly local cryptid fanwriter,

ao3 user ilgaksu <3

#personal #fandom #okay to reblog

[ailendolin]

L, N and P for the fandom meme, my dear 😊

Thank you, dear! 💙

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

All right, let’s go with Kitty for this one. One aspect of her character I genuinely like is her interest in weird, gory things. I think the moment she became fascinated with Maddocks’s foot (or lack thereof) was the first time I could truly relate to her. That could have been me, 100 %, and I’m sure everyone around me reacted the way the other ghosts did when I told them about that one time I dissected mummified bat skulls under a microscope. So yeah, I love this part of Kitty's character.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

1. More positivity rather than discourse. Every now and then people post about ships or characters they dislike, and I just wish rather than complaining about why there’s so much content for them, they’d use that energy to support the creators who actually make the content they want to see. There’s no better way to encourage a writer / artist / gifmaker than to leave them feedback. Which brings me to point 2.

2. More interaction with fics, art and gifsets. Likes are all well and good but it's reblogs that get works seen and comments that motivate creators to make more. Fandom thrives on interaction so I'd like to encourage everyone to reblog instead of like something and leave at least a little heart or random thought in the tags of the fic, art or gifset to let the creator know they liked it.

3. More gen fics. Granted, I don’t read many fics because I'm always afraid of other people’s ideas influencing my own writing but I get the impression that a lot of Ghosts fics focus on romance (some my own included) and I’d love to see more found family type stories that focus on friendships.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

I always struggle with inventing AUs because Coffee Shop AUs and the like don’t really do it for me. For me, an AU only works if it retains at least some of the core elements of the show, and that makes it quite difficult to come up with an AU for something like Ghosts.   

But I have recently thought about the potential of a Primeval AU. If you’re unfamiliar with the show, it’s about prehistoric animals wandering into modern time through so-called anomalies. So there's dinosaurs and mammoths roaming the streets, but every now and then humans from the past appear in the present as well. And that’s where our beloved ghosts would come in:

Fanny still gets pushed out of a window by George but instead of landing on the hard ground, she falls through an anomaly and lands in a lake

after Thomas gets shot he staggers through an anomaly and survives thanks to modern medicine

the arrow that hits Pat vanishes through an anomaly before it can reach him. Pat ushers the kids into the bus before he investigates the sparkly thing and gets lost in time

Robin runs from the bear straight into modern Britain

Mary flees into an anomaly when she tries to run away from the witch hunters

Humphrey's anomaly opens below him when he comes out of his hiding place

Julian vanishes from his time while hiding in someone else's bedroom closet - half-naked, of course

Kitty probably went through an anomaly while playing hide and seek

The Captain stumbles upon an anomaly during maneuvers and checks it out (there might just be a possibility Havers does the same in Africa and the two of them to meet again in the future)

the Plague Ghosts cause quite a ruckus when they show up in modern times because, well, they’re infected with the plague. By the time Jemima arrives a few months later, safety measures for this sort of thing have been implemented

Alison and Mike still inherit Button House in this AU. When the government attempts to take the house from them because they need a place for all these misplaced people that’s far away from everywhere else, they strike a deal with them: the Coopers get to keep the house and the government pays them to let the people stay, thus enabling them to repair it

at some point, the government brings them a mammoth - a literal mammoth. Robin is over the moon. Alison and Mike are not. Fanny hopes the next animal will be a sabre-toothed cat.

Ask Game can be found here.

Already answered: A & O

Next up: M, U, E

#ask game #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts primeval au

[femchef]

Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself in the position of reassuring fandom people (observers, creators, writers) and. I’m going to say it all here - and I want you all to take a deep breath - deep, in and out, maybe a good four or so times - and listen.

Opinions from antis don’t matter - especially when they enter into your space, that you made for yourself and your fandom friends. They really don’t.

Do you know why so many of us oldies love ao3? It’s that marvelous tagging system. Tags are like the warning colors on a poisonous frog okay? The person who ignores all the things they don’t like in the tags, who jumps in and then gets upset - because they don’t like the ship, or the content, or they don’t like au’s or plots/timelines deviating from canon, or they don’t like OCs or SI’s, they don’t like XYZ-cest, etc - that person does not matter.

If they leave a rude or combative or argumentative comment - well cool, bro they are entitled to their opinion but that opinion has no bearing on what the creator is doing in their story. At all. That comment can be deleted, that person can be blocked or just flat out ignored. They’re shouting into a void of relative anonymity on the internet and I cannot emphasize exactly how little that actually matters at the end of the day.

I’m certainly not going to apologize for liking what I like. I’m here to have fun. “Your fav is problematic” hell yeah, my fav is problematic - it makes them interesting. I don’t care that you don’t like them? Why should I care if you don’t like the things I like? I don’t like gray colored cars - I think most of them are ugly. My opinion doesn’t matter to a person who likes the gray car they’re driving? There is absolutely no reason my opinion should matter to them at all.

If my neighbor across the street has tacky colored curtains in her windows, am I entitled to thinking they’re tacky? Heck yes.

Am I entitled to walk into her house uninvited and then throw a tantrum because her living room decor is hella tacky? Uh no. No I’m not. Friends listen - those ugly-ass curtains are my first and only necessary clue telling me we are not gonna agree on style choices.

Besides, my neighbor doesn’t get to bitch at me because I have a two foot tall tin rooster sculpture on my back porch. If my neighbor feels like telling me it’s tacky - “well ok? What’s your point? It’s my rooster”.

So if I’m scrolling on ao3 and see something tagged with a ship or topic I don’t like, y’all I’m gonna give it a miss. Just. Skip right over it. It’s not my sandbox - which is another thing.

You used to see in disclaimers from older fandom sites something to the effect of “I’m just playing in [XYZ author]’s sandbox”. I really love that, because at the end of the day, we are all here to have fun. If you’re not having fun, that’s totally ok!! You can go home, you don’t have to share this sandbox with other people! That is 110% alright to take your bucket and go dig somewhere else! No one is going to build the same sandcastle. This is what curating your experience on the internet and in fandom is ALL ABOUT. If you’re not having fun - if you’re uncomfortable or unhappy, it’s ok to move on. It’s good and healthy to move on!!!

To keep with the sandbox metaphor:

We’re all here to have fun. If someone says something in a fandom space (discord, twitter, tumblr, ao3, literally anywhere), and it makes you upset - you need to put a little distance between you and that situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s an anti or someone super hard-line about their favorite RPF boyband shipflavor. If you get more than passingly annoyed, and you can’t set it aside, then it’s time to go home for the day. Come back tomorrow to hang out. It’s okay. It really, really is.

I’ve seen some authors and artists who let aggressive commenters drive them away and it’s really heartbreaking. Fandom spaces are weird and fringey and goofy and fun and expressive. It’s so fascinating - it’s a space where a lot of people who create in it are doing so with no expectation of compensation beyond the pleasure of the creative act and (maybe, hopefully, joyfully) other people will appreciate the thing they made. So while we’re here, let’s go over another point:

1) The creator doesn’t owe you anything.

2) People invading your creative space with rude criticisms or demanding comments about your update schedules do not matter.

As a person creating fanworks - I am so happy when I get notes or kudos or comments or questions!!! It helps keep me creative! It helps cheer me up on a really bad day!! They’re wonderful.

But you’re not paying me to make stuff for you. You didn’t purchase a product or service from me. We didn’t enter into any sort of contractual arrangement. I am literally not beholden to you at all.

Authors and creators don’t owe you anything. If you decide you don’t like something about their work or art or even things more personal - politics, opinions, car colors, whatever - that. Is. OKAY. It’s so totally okay. That means you get to move on to something or someone you like more! You are not beholden as a reader or as a creator!!!

Look. Do I enjoy fanworks tagged parental!Roy in the fma fandom? Heck yes - I eat up found family like a starving woman who’s never seen a buffet in her life. Do I enjoy fanworks tagged Roy/Ed in the fma fandom? Hell yes - absurdly intelligent people with trauma and daddy issues is catnip for me. I don’t have any problems separating these two in my head. They’re different genres. Do I also love Ed/Win ships in the fma fandom - hard yes, there’s something nostalgic and whole-grain sweet that is for sure my cup of tea. Do I also love Win/Pan ships? Chaotic girlfriends 210% yes. What about Havoc/Al? Eh. Not really my jam, I tend to give that a miss. Ed/Envy? Nah, that’s a hard no for me. Does this mean I’m going to go into a fic with tags I’m not interested in or actively dislike and read or interact with it anyway?

Uh no. No I’m not.

But what about if it just pops up in a fic and it wasn’t tagged and I wasn’t expecting it?

Well - that’s a little inconvenient for me as a reader, but. Beyond leaving a polite comment asking the author to consider tagging the significant thing I didn’t like, I just. Stop reading. And move on.

That’s it. That’s all that should happen.

Oftentimes the best thing you can do is just. Let. It. Go. If you’re not having fun in the sandbox anymore just go play in a different one - go home, go hang out with other people. But just. Let it go.

Same thing applies to comments - someone drops a comment in your inbox that they really hate xyz and they want you to know they’re upset about it? Just delete the comment. You are not their therapist. You’re not their meatspace friend. At the end of the day, the person who submitted their comment is an anonymous person to you, and it’s not your job to manage their feelings or their discomfort. You don’t have to be an asshole about it - trigger warnings are a thing - but, conversely, they don’t have to be an asshole about it either.

This post is getting a bit long. But please - the salient point is that you should be having fun in your creative spaces out there, you have no reason to feel ashamed of the things that make you happy or bring you joy.

Antis don’t matter at the end of the day. Let them die mad about it. Just have fun playing in the sandbox.

#fandom #fanfiction #ao3 #fanfic writing #antiship #fandom spaces #proship

[finngualart]

its friday night and im self isolating and drawing weird little self inserts like a freak

#one of the promises i made myself for this year #is that i am going to carve out a serious amount of time each week to work on my norse myth graphic novel project #not knowing i would be completely swept off my feet by the stupid gay vampire show #i have not thought about the alldad for weeks #been thinking a lot about the slightly weird relationship i have been developing with ihn #like #i know he is Fictional #but fun (or embarrassing) fact: i have a portrait of him up in my living room that i talk to :'))))))) #i think as an artist/writer/creator you have no choice but to get a little weird with your characters #anyway #odin should not be such a fucking hypocrite #he sleeps around #let me sleep around man #i thought this was an open relationship #oh i typed ihn at some point when i meant HIM #we have come to the end of my slightly unhinged friday night ramblings #thanks for reading and have a good one #wwdits #odin

[retvenkos]

alright, Olive, I'm back with a weird question. (but first of all, I hope you're doing good! how awfully rude of me to not start my ask by that) because you're so good at psychoanalyzing people (and I adore your rambling thoughts), I was wondering if you could maybe help me? I've always wondered who my godly parent would be in the PJO universe - it's been the biggest mistery in my life since I was 8. I just haven't found myself in any figure of the Olympus, maybe because I'd be the child of a minor deity? I've thought about Apollo, and I genuinely like it, but idk, maybe I need a more thorough analysis. I've also gotten Iris and Hemera from other people? I just think your piercing mind could see right through me. anyway, this is weird lol, I hope you don't mind me asking this! and don't worry if you can't answer, it's totally fine. 💜

asdfgfddfgfd, when i get my two weeks off for summer break, i should just do placements for inquiring mutuals because honestly it's one of my favorite things,,,

also, before i get into it (because i have some thoughts™), i'm going to plug one quotev quiz that i think is better than the rest when it comes to these matters: this godly parent quiz.

now, clara, i am not nearly as versed in pjo cabin placements as i am in hogwarts houses, but i'm going to give this my best shot:

first, i think i would be remiss not to mention that you are a libra, and libra is associated with themis, (idk really what that means since i'm not into astrology, lol), but themis isn't mentioned as one of the gods with a cabin, so i'm disregarding that. if we are following this logic though, i think that aphrodite is also associated with libra, so perhaps you could fit into that cabin? personally, i don't see it as strongly as i see others, but you do have a hopeless romantic streak, and a strong sense of community, which could sway you in that direction.

as for apollo, i'm going to unpack that for a minute, because it's very interesting that you'd place yourself there, and i'm on the fence with that myself, lol. (this is very stream of consciousness, so let's see where this section takes us)

i definitely see the association with the arts - music and poetry - although in my mind apollo has always been the performer, and less of the creator. i always associated the muses more with the creation stages of music and poetry. like... the muses are the fashion designers and apollo is the model going down the runway. or the muses are the writers and collaborators in the writers room and apollo is the actor or director. so, while i see the association, i think it's a little weak, because you strike me as more of the quiet artist who's behind the scenes, rather than the bard singing in the pub, trying to get coins. but, you know yourself better, so maybe it's a good association.

and after that, what always strikes me about apollo is the volatile contradictions of his personality. i mean, he's associated with the sudden death of children (rightfully so, i mean he slaughtered all of niobe's sons), along with his sister, artemis, but he's also a healer. he's like that "i'm a healer, but..." meme, which is funny as hell but also a little concerning. like, in many stories he is that godly sort of intelligent strength, but also he's really volatile and has quite a temper on him. i don't really think this relates a whole lot to you, because i get the vibes that you are generally mild mannered, but when something pisses you off, you let is really simmer. i feel like you aren't one to fly off the handle - if you do, it's probably been stewing within you for a while, and whoever your anger is directed at really knows that you're upset, and they knowingly pushed you to that place. i feel like you're more of a grudge holder than hot-tempered (but girl, same).

and then, of course, we have apollo's prophecies. now, maybe this is me reading too much into your scientific mind, but i think you are concerned with the future, but also don't think too much of it is predetermined. i feel like you are more of a trailblazer than that, and might just be prone to ignoring or actively working against anything you saw in the stars, asdfghgfsdfggfdsdfggfd

oh, and, apollo just has so many unfortunate romances, and on one hand, i have you quoted that you are more of an eponine than a cosette, but also, no hate to apollo and his tragic affairs, but he's openly mocked eros, and that truly gives off the vibes of working off of one (1) braincell, and you are too good for that, clara.

and just going back to personality, i think you have a lot of flexibility that just doesn't fit with the apollo cabin.

tldr; kinda but no?

now, i'm gonna kinda hop back into possible theories.

one of my gut reactions was the say athena, but after thinking about it, i'm still a little unconvinced. you have the intellect and pride for this cabin, and i feel like you would get roped into helping a lot of heroes like athena, but you also just have a charm to you that athena lacks. part of athena is that she's unapproachable and her pride is excessive. you, again, are too flexible to be athena. she's staunch where you are willing, and i feel like the rigidity of her nature is too constricting for you. it's very similar as to why i didn't place you in ravenclaw.

i also considered nike because of your competitive streak, but this placement kind of takes away from the underdog vibes i get from you. the righteous fury... the glee in the moment... it's definitely there, but i feel like there's a level of unsurety to your psyche that you don't really get with nike.

which leads me to my final analysis, where i think you would do well as a child of tyche.

let me go through this. so, i mentioned your competitive streak with nike, and that is 1000% evident in tyche. tyche is all about luck and fortune, and i feel like competition is a shoe in. children of tyche like to dabble with the unknown or the novel - it makes life interesting. they like to go against another and see where the cards fall, and if lady luck isn't on their side.... well, tonight's just not their night. they have a secure base to fall back on, and that allows them to stretch their wings and fly.

furthermore, with nike, victory is expected and guaranteed. luck is far more fluid and unpredictable - it's harder to pin down. you can have a lot of luck and a lot of things working in your favor, but still, the desired end result isn't set in stone - it's likely to happen, but there's always risk. this risk leaves for an air of quiet self-assuredness that isn't overbearing. there's always uncertainty in the mix, and that leads to less overt confidence. it also adds to the thrill (or the anxiety).

plus, i think that the gap between fortune and certainty (a pitfall of risk) leads to a lot of checks and balances that i really see in you. there's a lot of clear headed logic that gets weighed against ambition and desire, and it makes for a kind of pragmatism that doesn't stomp out dreams, just looks at them realistically.

which means i feel like a lot of people ask you for advice, clara. it also makes you a decision maker for sure. you might falter for a moment, but in the end, you make a choice and you live with it.

also, i have a personal headcanon that children of tyche are really well rounded, which harks back to my gryffindor analysis of you, where i mention that you have many tools in your box. you are able to manipulate many different things, and you can look at them from many angles, and i love that for you.

i also think this is a good placement for you because luck is all about what-ifs. it's about actively manipulating the world around you. like i said when i mentioned apollo's prophecies - i don't think that you do very well with the predetermined. some things, certainly, but one (1) you are too stubborn to believe you can't change things (oh, the contradictions of a gryffindor and child of tyche), and there's also a level of desperation that things won't always be like this. luck can come to anyone in any place. this is definitely tied to your bleeding heart - you care for people who have fallen on hard times, and you can't help but pray that it's only temporary.

oh, and i headcanon that tyche holds grudges sO BAD. she is only outdone by nemesis and hades.

anyway, this was long and it winded, but TLDR; i hereby herald you a child of tyche. you are my lady luck, clara.

#asks #mutuals #lol i need to get a tag like: #olive psychoanalyzes friends #anyway i hope you like this! i feel like i kind of raked apollo through the coals asdfghjhgfdfghjhgfd #but lISTEN you don't get to be one of the big name gods without being messy as hell #but lol now i feel like i need to re- assess my status as a child of hecate because i didn't go this in depth for mYSELF

[zkfanworkweek]

ZFAW Content Creator Interviews: GrapefruitTwostep

Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!

For the fifth interview, I’m highlighting a full-fledged fandom legend: @grapefruittwostep! Author of such works as “Modern Love” and “Moonlight and Sunshadow,” you can find GrapefruitTwostep’s works HERE: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrapefruitTwostep/pseuds/GrapefruitTwostep

1. Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you? The first season of Avatar: The Last Airbender came out when I was about fourteen, so my preferences were already pretty set when it came to the fictional couples I liked (for reference, I was a really big Star Wars fan so Han and Leia were pretty formative to my life). It sounds kind of weird to say, but Zutara really just slotted right into the spot already waiting to accept it, right in the "literal opposites attract, enemies-to-lovers, oh no they bicker all the time please kiss" spot, but that's exactly what happened. A few measly years later, I rewatched the show in college, just after it had ended, and as an adult, I found myself more drawn to the dramatic parallels, the play between two characters who are so old before their time in a way that other characters in the show aren’t. I’ve always loved constructed family tropes, and the “mom friend/dad friend” thing is a real draw to me. So I guess the short answer is because I’m enemies-to-lovers trash. 2. What inspires you to create Zutara fanworks?

As a semi-professional writer, I’ve learned to get my inspiration from media I enjoy in a non-work context: so far, that’s been punk rock, Norwegian folktales, 80’s teen comedies, and Jane Austen novels. I love lots of other stuff too (like Dungeons & Dragons and urban fantasy and superhero comics) so I don’t think I’m ever going to run out of stuff to take inspiration from! 3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create? I’ve had people send me some pieces of fanart and every time it is a joy and a delight. If I could ask for anything, it would probably be more Suki and Toph. I know! Weird choice! But writing those two is pretty much what I live for — Zutara is almost an afterthought, oops. I like to think “Jock Best Friend Suki” is one of my greatest contributions to this world/fandom and that’s the fanart that would just make my life. 4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time? I didn’t write my first fanfic until I was twenty-six. I came into this fandom so late and I did so with an incredibly self-indulgent work that I wrote entirely for me. And it went over so much better than I’d ever expected! Zutara fans are super nice. I think we get a crummy reputation from the old days of the shipping wars, but I’ve never actually experienced anything terrible. Everyone I’ve ever interacted with has been incredibly nice and really understanding about my bullshit and the support is amazing. They’re good people and they were super nice to an old lady like me who had no idea what she was doing. 5. What is your favorite Zutara-related thing you’ve made and why is it special to you? I wish I could say I love all my children the same, but Twist Me to the Left is my favorite. My father has this saying about music: “You have your whole life to make your first album, and then you have six months to make the second.” Twist Me to the Left was the reason I got into writing fic and so there’s something special about it for me that none of the other things I’ve written quite have. I feel especially bad saying that because it's not the thing that’s gotten me the most notice, but it’s the thing that’s closest to my heart and includes the most elements that were a personal influence on my life. Also, it’s got metalhead Toph which I find both generally awesome and a great joke. 6. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven’t gotten around to making?

Well, I just started my Jane Austen influenced fic, which is difficult to write and I think difficult to read (sorry), so that’s taking up my fandom brain right now. But I do really want to do a Much Ado About Noting fic so maybe when I burn myself out trying to sound like my girl Jane, I’ll do that instead. I’ve also been planning a cyberpunk AU but it has a mask aspect that, in the current climate of the world, feels … a little too soon.

7. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so, want to give us a hint as to your plans?

I would like to participate, certainly! (It’s right at the end of NaNoWriMo so I may not be at my best, but I’d really like to participate anyway, let’s see if I can do it without burning myself out.) However! I actually don’t read nearly as much fic as one would expect and so what I would really love are some recommendations! If anyone has art or writing they want me to look at, send that shit right on over to me so I can get some inspiration! I like very slow burns and AUs, but seriously, people, hook me up with whatever you’ve got.

#zfaw #zutara fanworks appreciation week #zutara #Interviews

[thattimdrakeguy]

ROBIN 80TH ANNIVERSARY - REVIEW!! - The GREAT, the okay, the meh, the wait what, and the freaking awful

None of the stories I’d consider bad in this besides the Super Sons one.

They have flaws, some don’t have any but aren’t that great, and just weird choices, with some disappointments.

I’m just gonna be honest about each story because that’s all I can do.

--

DICK GRAYSON’S FIRST STORY: Really freaking good.

My favorite story is probably the first one:

Like the art is the best in the whole issue, and the only real flaw is how mean they made Bruce through-out it.

It’s yet again another story of how and why Dick quit (I guess he didn’t get fired this time) being Robin, but it’s just nice. Nice pacing, timing, dialogue, good art, and because the people working on it are 80s writers and artists, it keeps it feeling classic.

Which is great for a little showing of the 80s world, and I’m no big 80s DC guy at all, but it’s a really nice flashback for that.

One thing that was disappointing but I won’t count as a flaw (since it’s really not, just a wasted opportunity) is that this kid didn’t end up being Tim:

It looks like a young Tim, it’s drawn by the first artist on Tim’s Robin ongoing, written by his creator, it’s about the history of Robin, and he’s an overeager Robin fanboy-- like why wasn’t this kid Tim? He even has that dorky bowlcut Tim had when he was little, just less 80s styled.

A missed opportunity honestly.

The story though shows Dick’s compassion, talent, frustrations as he became his own man, his views on Robin, some of his sense of humor even. So his characterization is pretty great, but it is written by the man that grew Dick his own unique character to begin with, and it’s great to see this story keeps it up. (Prolly gonna find out this is an old script, but hey, it’s a good one.)

A weird retcon story, but it’s a nice callback to the 80s, and I think it’s really well-done beyond Bruce being a controlling grumpy prick to the point it feels like parody.

--

DICK GRAYSON’S SECOND STORY: It’s just alright.

Where the first story is a flashback to the 80s, this is a direct flashback to he 90s, with the writer and artist that started his ongoing solo.

And it’s good. Like I had a lot of fun reading it, good heroics, feels of it’s era, but like the last story that’s the fun.

There’s nothing really to say about it besides it’s good. There isn’t anything too standout about it.

--

DICK GRAYSON’S THIRD STORY: It’s forgettable.

I forgot this was a thing in this, and it just feels like a waste of page.

It’s in no way bad that I seen, but it’s so very bland and one note. Titans fight and Dick acts as leader. Very generic.

The art’s really good though.

--

DICK GRAYSON’S FOURTH STORY: It’s better than that last one at least.

Unlike the last one, this feels like it at least has a point to be here, and it actually feels like it makes sense to be in he 80th anniversary as well.

I’m not a personal fan of the “Grayson” series, it just sexualized Dick too much honestly, made him cheesier again a bit, and the writing was a little on the off-side in a way that just made it all feel empty besides a few moments, but I never read the whole series to be a great judge on it.

But also because of that, I have no idea who these people are for this story to be grand. What makes it feel like it’s worthy of being here though is trying it back to the history of Robin like the first story with these little bits.

Without these moments though, you wouldn’t have a clue why this is there.

Also Dick just suddenly wears this:

Which is super duper off-putting. But Oh-ho gotta have sexy Dick in there somewhere I guess. Just-- wow, was that super sudden.

--

JASON TODD’S STORY: It’s good but this kid doesn’t look right.

The story is very simple and sweet, and I think it works a lot given Jason and Bruce’s complicated relationship.

It’s even written by Judd Winnick who did Under the Red Hood, which is awesome.

But who is this kid they keep calling Jason exactly? It irrationally bugs me, because all the art has been super spot on till this story. They even write him well, but it just genuinely doesn’t look like post-crisis Robin Jason.

Like to show what I mean--

You read it and this is how the kid speaks.

Super snarky,

a bit of a rude edge to it,

practical sounding but rough teen-ish still

yet still mature enough to feel like he can handle himself.

So you might place this around when Jason was 15 given he’s Robin, and when he was 15 and when they gave him a unique design finally away from a generic silver age Robin, he looked like a young body builder--

Like this is what Jason Todd looked like when they settled his look away from a Dick clone:

A young body builder type, strong jaw, working out, mature features for his age

So who the heck is this?

Like this isn’t what Jason looked like besides pre-crisis, but this is post-crisis Jason. They already settled what he looked like during that 80s run, and this isn’t it. He’s not supposed to look like a generic silver age Robin anymore.

Even beyond it not looking like what Jason’s supposed to, it doesn’t fit the dialogue. He’s written as a practical, snarky, yet in his own way still mature teen. Soooooo why’s he look 5?

It’s so off-putting and it bugs me.

However, beyond that, I really like the story, and at least the artist was good at drawing adult Jason.

Them representing Bruce’s and Jason’s complicate relationship of distant but still caring is something I really enjoy. It’s so much more true to character rather than acting like Jason is just a part of the family like nothing ever happened.

More of that dynamic for them, please.

--

TIM DRAKE’S FIRST STORY: It’s pretty good, but it’s missing something.

Not the highest praise ever, but I do like this story. I enjoy it’s setting at Tim’s school. High school was a constant setting for Tim’s comics in Robin, and they rarely ever treat it like that so I enjoy this story bringing it back.

I really enjoyed the connection  between extracurricular activities and what he does as Robin. It’s that blend of relatability and heroics that really made Tim work as a character. So that’s also great they brought back.

One of my favorite things that they bring up is Tim being into eSports, cuz it reminds me of how much Tim was into video games. It’s a very modern version of him being into the arcades in the 90s. Which is great.

However a downside is that it doesn’t really focus on Tim as a character like the other stories did with the other Robins.

Nothing about his never give up attitude, his insecurities, his underdog likability, how hard he is on himself, or things like that.

In-general this story says nothing about his personality besides a mention that he’s geeky. Which is a pretty big let-down because it keeps it from being any better, despite it already being good.

Freddie William’s art is also very hit or miss. It’s so crude sometimes, and Tim seems so buff compared to before in his actual Robin run. It’s very displeasing given that his early Tim work was top 5 Tim art material. However I still enjoyed that they brought him back even if he can’t draw Tim as well anymore. Tim’s still good in the babyface in most panels at least.

BUT-- this is still a pretty good Tim story. It’s just lacking.

Like it just should’ve been more about Tim as a character since it’s a Tim Drake story.

--

TIM DRAKE’S SECOND STORY: It’s honestly just pretentious.

Tim doesn’t talk like this. Tynion has a melodramatic tone to his characters that works great for characters like Batman, I’ve actually quite liked his Batman run so far partially because of that, but it doesn’t work for Tim.

This is not what Tim talks like. It’s so very unnatural sounding for a kid. Yet Tim talks in this incredibly dramatic tone except for a few light hearted spots, when I feel like it should be the opposite.

It’s also trying hard to be a character study, but again it’s so unnatural. It sounds like a fan describing their view of the characters, not the characters themselves. Like since have these guys became each others therapists?

And then he has Dick say these things that makes Tim seem like a Gary Stu and the greatest most talented guy ever.

Also having Tim hang out with Jason when Jason’s using guns even though Tim’s insanely against that sort of thing.

They even have Damian talk like a typical fan person who dislikes Tim based off of superficial things for a bit.

The fact it treats that Detective Comics Rebirth part of Tim’s character history as uber important is also a bit pretentious of the writer given he wrote that too. Despite Tim only being in that run for like three arcs and wasn’t even in-character for most of it.

Best part of it, is the vague acknowledgement that Tim didn’t want to be anything else but Robin to me.

Otherwise it just reeks of awkwardly written fan fiction.

Honorable mentions of quality though, is Dick and Tim being brothers train riding, and Damian’s mini-adult coming out. I’m so sick of them making Damian a generic kid sometimes that I actually liked this part even if it’s through a snarky filter.

--

STEPHANIE BROWN’S STORY: Better than expected, it’s actually pretty good.

I actually really liked this story. Overall I think Steph’s actual Robin run sucked, this is still a good story if I can get past the era it’s set in.

Unlike Tim’s stories, this actually uses her character.

How reckless she can be without it being super exaggerated, her attitude, love that they brought back the diary format for her inner-monologue too. 

There’s not much to say besides I’d actually consider this one of the best stories in the thing, except for the fact Steph clearly disobeys Batman and she was said to get fired for that. That’s a decent plot holes for me.

I super love the detail of Tim being so small that Steph can’t fit in his uniform. That cheered me up.

Them bringing back her Robin era artist was also great. Unlike Freddie Williams, their art actually really improved.

DAMIAN WAYNE’S FIRST STORY: The genuine worst story in it.

It’s so-- baaad.

Fan service can work if it’s in good quality. Like being in-character, or a nice homage. The train riding in Tynion’s story was that.

This isn’t that.

Damian and Jon didn’t get along right away, not even soon enough for this “mostly” part to feel right as a joke, because they obviously didn’t get along mostly right away. They fought a lot. They even show it on the full page them fighting, but they downplay how long they did fight just for fanservice. It took a long time, and even when they did it was still contrived.

Then they have Damian and Jon in the same class, when they aren’t the same age for that to make sense..

They even have Jon help Damian on his tests when it’s constantly shown that Damian is a brainiac who wouldn’t need that.

It’s literally even in the history summary at the end that he’s highly intelligent. So he probably wouldn’t even ever need a study partner considering he’s even said to have actual PHDs anyway. Which makes the study partner thing just plain out of character.

There’s also panels that straight up feels like oddly specific deviantart fetish art, which is so nasty. Especially considering that I know damn well that’s there’s pedophiles who make this same kind of oddly specific fetish art on there. So much so I had to stop using the site cuz of the anxiety it gave me.

And they downplay how mean Damian can be too Jon so much that it irks me.

This is the worst story in the whole comic, genuinely. Nothing good is in it, besides some decent enough art.

It’s certainly pandering to it’s fandom, but to certain parts it really shouldn’t be.

(This sort of stuff was still happening in their miniseries. Jon really shouldn’t want this as a brother. That’s stockholm syndrome.

--

DAMIAN WAYNE’S SECOND STORY: It’s better than the last one, but somethings missing still.

Unlike the last one avoiding talking about Damian’s actual character besides to play it down. This one actually uses it.

It’s just so quick, and empty feeling at the same time that it’s missing something. A bit like an inverse of Tim’s first story. Tim’s story had the setting and interesting story format, but no real character, while this has a lot of usage of the character but no interesting setting or story.

A lot of Damian’s character is that he’s not a natural Robin as far as attitude goes. He isn’t a typical Robin, and I enjoy how they play into that rather than be afraid of that. It’s what makes this actually work for me.

Although it makes you question why he’s still Robin, I consider that a good thing, because YOU SHOULD. You want the character’s to actually acknowledge things as if they’re real and not just ignoring things.

He’s not typical, he’s unique for better or worse. That’s Damian, and that’s what you should show of him.

This goes into why Damian’s the exact opposite of what a Robin normally is. That’s great.

But it’s missing anything memorable about it. However I think that’s cuz it leads into a future issue of Teen Titans which gives it a reasonable excuse.

I’m really hoping it leads into something.

Although i have a feeling they sadly might do the same thing as typical and ignore Damian’s actions more. Avoiding any genuine feelings.

--

OVERALL

It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Only two stories I’d actually call bad, which is a lot less than I thought With just occasionally sloppy art, not even what I’d call back, but just crude or not drawing the character accurately which will annoy some more than others.

When I heard of this book I got so worried, but only two stories is actually almost relieving how little that is given the potential ego-driven things they could’ve done, which only those two stories then.

To me, I say it’s worth a pick-up, just rip out a story or two to keep it friendlier to revisit

Mostly was just really missing that extra heart in a lot of the stories.

#Tim Drake #Robin #Dick Grayson #Nightwing #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Stephanie Brown #The Spoiler #Bruce Wayne #Batman #DC Comics #Bat-Family #Batfamily #Bat-fam #Batfam #Teen Titans #Young Justice #Young Just Us

[genshin-latte]

NOT A REQUEST✨

Hi! I’m trying to figure out how to get better at writing fanfic and was wondering if you had any tips? I think I’m decent enough, it’s just I now have an audience I feel like I need to provide for.

Sorry if this is weird haha

Hello hello! Aaaa I say this a lot but I’m not actually writer, I’m more of an artist 🤣 I just started writing bc I feel tired constantly craving for validation with my art so I took a break, but I’m a content creator at heart. When I don’t create content I feel... empty.. lost so I ended up writing and here I am 🤡🤡

Anyway! will do my best to give tips //Im sorry this turned out kinda long —Also read your writing, yes I think it’s quite good 👀👀

Personally, I think the main point of fanfiction writing is understanding the characters. Putting the choice of words aside, I’ve always been drawn more to how writers potray them. Especially if you’re writing x readers, it’s a challenge to balance between the actual character’s personality in canon and potraying them as how people want —fanservice. Same thing if you’re writing ships, or platonics, etc. I cannot stand when people completely alter a character’s personality to their needs. Take the characters away from the fandom, don’t get affected by how people potray them, look at the facts not what the fandom says, explore their depths, their motivations, their way of thinking, then write. Tbh I think this is the most challenging and time taking part of writing, I still have problems seperating my subjective opinions from my writing sometimes 😞

Aaahh the other tip I can give you is to read a lot, read books or other’s fanfictions, you’ll pick up their choice of words with time. Different genres tend to have different kinds of wordings too. As for me I’m not very poetic with my choice of words so I stick to lighthearted fics. But if you’re able to write poetic words, do it, it’s the most beautiful form of writing tbh. They give you the power to write heart wrenching and angsty fics ❤️

It’s not rlly detailed, but I hope it helps a little 💕 andd good luck with your blog 😚 ❤️

#brewing the latte

[swiftlythebest]

2020 Creator Tag Meme

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Thank you to @middyblue for tagging me!!!

I didn’t write too much this year, but here’s what I think are my top 5 (out of 7 I’m choosing to acknowledge):

One Single Thread of Gold (8,244 words): This was my first posted fic in the Schitt’s Creek fandom. I did it for SportsFest, which was maybe a weird choice as an unknown writer but oh well! I wanted to kind of explore a universe very adjacent to the show’s canon and give Patrick some friends. I’m the one always talking about the rules of a sport while we watch, so I decided to stay in my comfort zone with that. Also, hands. I love hands. Gotta write about hands as much as I can.

Give You My Wild (1,737 words): I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to include this one or not, but it has the bit of dialogue that I keep saying is my favorite I’ve written this year so that earned it a spot. I’m a big fan of misunderstandings and conversations that are actually about two different things, so this one was fun to write. Also, my first use of Jake as a convenient plot device, which shows up again!

Is It Cool That I Said All That? (1,047 words): It feels weird to include this one because it’s short, and I wrote it in very little time, but I love it. It’s just some real fun pining. I don’t know, maybe I should have gone with a longer one or something, but this one was just a delight to write so here it is!

You and Me Forevermore (25,432 words): I don’t really know how to talk about this one. It’s the longest thing I’ve completed and posted, and I’m really proud of it. It came out during Frozen Over, so it maybe got a bit lost in all the EXCELLENT fic we got during that. I just loved writing this whole thing and it felt like a big accomplishment to finish it and get it out there. I don’t watch Hallmark movies (I think I watched my first one this weekend), but I’d watch this one maybe.

We Could Call It Even (8,192): I woke up one day and chose violence against myself by changing a cute lil idea I had into something more angsty. It’s not angst, I know that, but as the above fics show, I’m not about writing angst. The initial idea was just David seeing Patrick again when they’re after having a big crush on him in high school. It’s sort of that but more. This felt like a bit of a challenge for me, and I ended up really liking the finished product. 

I have so many things started right now, but they’ll all be new year stuff, so I think that’s the end of posting fic in 2020 for me. Not a lot of words this year (59,252), but some things I’m really proud of were posted this year. So quality over quantity, I guess? I don’t know, I’m used to my year end word count being higher, but I’m not as proud of that stuff. I lost a lot of motivation this year so I wasn’t churning things out as quickly.

I have barely been on Tumblr this week so forgive me if I tag people who have already done this: @filthysweetie, @yourbuttervoicedbeau, @dinnfameron, @danverses, @januarium, @schittposting, @schitthappens, @danieljradcliffe, @kindofspecificstore, @fishyspots, @lisamc-21, @roguebebe, and anyone else who wants to do it because I’m probably missing people.

#tag game #the woes of writing #schitt's creek

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Work in Progress Wednesday

Creators: work on or post something from your WIP. This is your weekly reminder to get something down on paper (real or virtual). It’s also a chance to share your progress with your followers and give them a sneak peek of what’s to come!

Fans: leave a comment on an unfinished fic and let the writer know how much you love it. Reblog an artist’s sketch and let them know you can’t wait to see the final product. Send someone an ask cheering them on!

Feel free to repost this image!

 *

**

Hello all!  I’ve been feeling...well I’m not too sure honestly.  Writing has been a little weird these last few months weeks so I wanted to use this just as a way to motivate myself a little with what I’ve already come up with and hopefully, it will push me to write/finish some of those WIPs.  Be gentle these are still really rough ... and if I do get around to writing them I might change some stuff around...

There are so many different stories that I’ve started that I might never finish so I wanted them to live somewhere.  

There’s a few ShikaTema, SaiIno and one ChoKarui (also some starts to my Lemonade Series so be aware of titles/notes)

**I’ll update this as new ideas come about.  They will appear first in the post. 

Previews after the cut. 

Knots (Part 3 of “Ties that Bind Series”- ShikaTema, Suna Sibs)

“I’m worried, she’s really sick.”

“Maybe it's like ya know.  That time of the month.”  Kankuro’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

“You idiot.  You absolute moron.”  Temari's voice shot back through the layers of blankets. 

“I think she's okay.”

“Temari, are you okay?”  Gaara asked carefully.  

She nodded her head.  “I’m fine.  Everything is just fine.  Why do you ask?”

“Well you’ve been locked in your room for days now.  You haven’t snapped at anyone or called me stupid.  We’re getting concerned.”

She sighed, taking a deep breath seeing the worry clear in their eyes.

“Shikamaru proposed.”

Their expressions brightened.   “Temari! That’s great, congratulations!”

“We should be celebrating.”  Kankurou stared at his sister curiously.  Gaara was right.  Something was wrong.  “Why isn’t Nara here?”

“I couldn’t say yes.”

Their eyes shot wide open. “Temari?”

“Shikamaru needs to be in Konoha and I couldn’t leave you two and Suna.  Who am I if i’m not Temari of the Desert?”  She knew that she made the right decision.  She couldn’t just leave her brothers and Suna because of something as trivial as love right?  This was the right thing to do.  She assured herself but then why did her heart feel like it was tied up in knots?

*

**

Candles (SaiIno-One Shot)

The concept of birthdays had always been foreign to Sai.  He’d never learned the actual date of his birth and never realized that such days were cause for celebration.  So much of his past and the circumstances by which he’d become part of the Root were shrouded in darkness.  The one person that could tell him when his actual birthday was, was dead.

 There were little events that were celebrated in the Foundation.  Completion of missions, not dying on said missions were the two events in which he could remember “celebrating.”  Other than that there was little else that would be cause for celebration.

Once he started becoming more a part of the village he learned early on that birthdays were actually important milestones.  Whether they were small, intimate gatherings of close family and friends or large, elaborate events, birthdays were something to celebrate.  They were time markers and allowed the celebrant to reflect on all their past experiences and look forward to all the wonderful experiences that lie ahead.  Perhaps that was why birthdays were never celebrated.  No one in the Root had a clear memory of their past.  Each mission could be life or death so it was foolish to believe that there was a future to look forward to.  

Still, as he began to settle actual roots, and the path in which he wanted to walk a birthday seemed like an important element to have.  Everyone had a birthday, he deserved one too.  The actual date though was to be determined.  There were few actual dates that held any value so selecting a random one out of the year was difficult.  It also seemed strange to arbitrarily pick a date as well. 

“Ino?  I have a request.”

“Of course Sai, anything.”

“Would you mind sharing your birthday with me?”

“What?”

“I don’t know when my actual birthday is.  Such things weren’t considered important.  One day I’d like to find out but for now if you don’t mind I’d like to share my birthday with you.  It’s not something that we need to announce or even really recognize but I’d like to have a date, a number that I can put down.  I feel like the day I met you I was reborn in a sense.  That my real life started.  I can  understand if you don’t-”

*

**

Stolen (Multi Chap AU ShikaTema ):

Shikamaru watched her closely and saw the shift in her eyes.  Where she’d been terrified initially he noticed a kind of calm and peace.  He released the shadow binds around her wrists but sent more to surround her creating a maze of shadows and lines. 

“Don’t fear the shadows Temari.  Learn to dance amongst them.”

Temari with focused eyes and a determined spirit moved gracefully between the lines.  She landed in pockets of light and moved swiftly before she could become trapped.  He watched on enchanted as she leaped and moved effortlessly avoiding what he threw at her.  It was as though she was floating, gliding in the wind above the darkness.

*

**

Runways (Model AU ShikaTema):

Unrestrained raged swirled in Shikamaru’s normally soft brown eyes as he held Temari’s shaking body.  His glare was heavy on the cowering figure trembling on the floor. 

“My family will bury you.  I will make sure that you never work in this industry again.”

Temari was taken aback by the ice in his voice and all she wanted was for this night to be over and for life to return to normal. “Shikamaru...”  Temari’s voice quivered in a frighteningly unfamiliar way and his protective hold tightened.

“I’m sorry-” 

In spite of himself, Shikamaru laughed off the worthless attempt to quell his anger.  “It’s far too late for apologies.  I suggest that you leave now. That you make it so that no one remembers your name or face because by the time that I’m done you will wish that you never crossed a Nara.”

*

**

Stalemate (Mafia AU, ShikaTema)

Shikamaru’s midnight eyes surveyed the crash of sweaty bodies moving and pulsating to a heavy beat. He took a long drag of his cigarette overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and heavy bass. It wasn’t often that he made the trek out here often depending on his associates to check on their businesses.  His father told him though that it was important for the king to be seen by his people.  

For a while, his family had to operate in the shadows.  That was no longer the case.  The Naras, Akimichis, and Yamanaka’s ruled this area.  Government officials, police officers anyone who had “power” were all on their payroll.  Very few things happened in this city without them knowing.  Everyone knew who they were and they no longer tried to hide it.  

When he was younger he’d complained constantly that this was a drag. He never wanted to become the head of the Nara crime family.  It wasn’t his choice, it was his destiny.  Still, he grew into the role and had accomplished more than they’d ever dreamed. 

He didn’t delight in the benefits of being an infamous crime boss. The club was far too loud. The women who threw themselves at him were too troublesome. 

His eyes continued to scan the room before they fell upon one person his heart began to beat wildly. From where he stood he could tell she was a striking blonde but there was something different.  Something was drawing him towards her.  He studied her for a while.  Becoming increasingly frustrated as she flirted and smiled at the club patrons.  His hands clutched painfully around the balcony railing as he tried to keep his anger in check. 

He called his security detail over.

“The blonde bartender, bring her to my office.”

“Yes sir.” 

*

**

Protective Instincts (Mafia AU, SaiIno, Mafia Princess Ino, Bodyguard Sai *same universe as “Stalemate” ^)

The tension in the back of the SUV was suffocating.  The air heavy, anger rolling off of the man sitting next to her. 

“Sai...I-”  Ino began before being cut off.  

“Don’t, I’m barely holding it together right now.  I just need a minute.”

A beat of silence passed. “Are you mad at me?”  She pouted and despite how angry and upset he was Sai shook his head.  

“No, I could never be mad at you.  I’m mad at your actions and the stupid risks you take but no, never at you.”  

Satisfied with his response and sensing that he was calmer Ino crawled into his lap settling her head against his chest.

He knew that he should push her away.  It wasn’t necessarily appropriate for her to be this familiar with him but she melted so perfectly against him. He felt whole when she was in his arms. 

“I’m sorry Sai, I should have told you.  I just wanted a regular fun, night out.”

“But you’re not a regular person.  You put yourself at risk.”

“Sai, it’s one of our clubs, nothing was going to happen.”

“I can’t take that chance, Princess.  I knew that I shouldn't have taken the night off.  The person on your guard tonight is fucking dead.”

Her eyes widened feeling guilt crash over her.  She still had to learn that her decisions had very real consequences.  “Sai, no.  Please, it’s not his fault.  I snuck out.  I manipulated and orchestrated the whole thing.  Please don’t take it out on him.”

“Ino.”

She forced his gaze to meet hers.  “I’ll deal with my dad if it gets to him. Please.”

“Fuck, fine.  He and I are going to have a talk for sure but that will be all.  I promise.”

Ino sighed in relief knowing that he’d keep his promise.  “Thank you.”

“Why did you take tonight off?  It’s not like you.”

He took a deep breath his fingers pushing back stray hairs away from her eyes.  “I just needed a break, Beautiful.  Clearly, it didn’t last long.  I can’t take my eyes off of you for a second.”

She relaxed into his chest.  “I like your eyes on me.”

*

**

Obscura (NSFW SaiIno- Lemonade Series) -Idea courtesy of @ promptmaker 

Sai grinned as Ino moved into the next pose. She was a natural in front of the camera and seeing that smile always made him happy. 

He’d purchased the camera recently as an attempt to explore a new artistic medium. Especially now that he had memories worth capturing. Ino happily volunteered to be his subject. He was thankful that after this he’d have a whole set of photos of his Light. 

“Great job Beautiful these look incredible.” He complimented her drawing her into a kiss. 

“Thank you, Sai.”  She paused for a minute before her eyes lifted back to his a playful look in those baby blues. 

“I have an idea for a for pictures if you don’t mind.” 

He nodded excitedly about the prospect. He enjoyed any time that they shared together.  “Of course not Beautiful, whatever you’d like.  Let me just adjust these lights.” 

When he turned back around he was surprised to see that she’d removed her top and was now leaning forward her breasts heavy and exposed.  A mischievous smile across her lips.  

“Fuck.”  He breathed.  So she wanted those kinds of pictures.

*

**

Main Course (NSFW ChoKarui- Lemonade Series -Idea courtesy of @ promptmaker

“I made you all your favorite food and this is what you want to do instead.”  Karui teased Chouji her honey eyes glowing with anticipation.  

Chouji grinned as his mouth descended over her delicate neck.  “I think that you’re mistaken Sweetheart.  You are by far my favorite thing to eat.”  She could feel his grin against her skin.  

“Besides, if you didn’t want this to happen you would know better than to make yourself look so appetizing.”  He countered his hands grazing over the skin that the apron left exposed.

Goosebumps erupted over her skin her breathing coming out in short pants.  “Well, perhaps we should have dessert first.”

*

**

So that’s what we’ve got folks.  Actually even just making this post is inspiring me to finish/write!  Are there any that you’re interested in reading?  thank you for getting this far and for supporting me. 

#shikatema #shikatem #saiino #inosai #choukarui #choujikarui #INOSHIKACHO #shikamaru x temari #sai x ino #chouji x karui #naruto fanfiction #naruto fanfic #naruto #naruto shippuden #fanfic writing #fanfic woes #wips #work in progress #so where do we start #le sigh

[1000-directions]

rbb because it gave me a heart attack #trauma and also ughhHhhHhhhh bc mood

lolllllll people in marvel fandom do NOT understand how some of us suffer when they abbreviate their reverse big bang as rbb!!!

this was the original draft of my winterhawk reverse big bang where clint is a musician and bucky is a trust fund kid who ends up joining the army or something and they’re boyfriends and then they break up and eventually get back together and it’s told partly in flashbacks and it was just getting TOO complicated to write and felt joyless and was making me completely miserable, so i threw it out after 2500 words and wrote winterhawk punks in love instead, which was the correct choice.

i will never finish it, but here is what i’ve got in case anyone is interested:

There are a lot of different things Clint could have done with his life.

Well, no. That’s a bit of an exaggeration.

But there are several things Clint could have done with his life. Multiple things. More than one thing.

But he doesn’t think any of those other things would have ever made him as happy and crazy and pissed-off and satisfied as singing does.

Whenever anyone asks, he’s very careful to call himself a writer. A composer. A creator. A musician. Like the making of the thing is the part that motivates him. Like performing is just an afterthought. Like singing is just something he has to do so the music makes sense. Because he knows he’s not a great singer. He’s passable. He can keep a beat and hit all the notes in his limited range, and he gets just enough inflection and passion into the words to make people feel a thing, sometimes.

He’s good at the writing. He’s good at the deceptively simple arrangements. His voice is the least he has to offer, and he knows it, and it feels kind of foolish and indulgent to especially savor the part that he’s objectively the worst at. But Christ, he loves doing it, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

*

The two of them had ditched work early, saving up all their smoke breaks until it was suddenly 2:40, and the manager had no choice but to cut them loose. And even though they had permission, it felt like getting away with something, and Clint twisted his fingers into Bucky’s grasp as they ran down the sidewalk together. Clint darted recklessly into the intersection, and Bucky jerked him back at the last second as a truck came barrelling past, honking furiously at the two of them. And it was so close to being bad, but it was fine, fine, fine, and Clint laughed as Bucky shook his head, and Clint linked his arms around Bucky’s neck and kissed him right there in the middle of the street.

They were twenty, and they were in love. And nothing was serious but that.

It was a hot summer at the shore, and they were living in a shitty beach house with three other friends. They spent their mornings and afternoons scooping ice cream at a popular local shop that was more famous than good. And then at night, they’d go drinking at the scummier bars that were a little more lax on carding, or they’d build a bonfire on the beach and drink Yuenglings purchased with Clint’s really good fake ID. And inevitably, someone would have an acoustic guitar, and someone would start shouting out requests, and they’d get drunker and noisier as the night went on.

And then Clint would grab Bucky’s hand with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and they’d strip down to nothing and run into the ocean in the dark, screaming down the moon. And then they’d huddle together in one towel, letting the fire dry their hair until it was curly and crispy. And then they’d all stomp out the fire and gather up the red Solo cups, and Bucky and Clint would push their two futons together into one rickety big bed, and they would fall asleep in each others’ arms, salty and sandy and worn out.

Bucky woke up early most days to go for a run. He was in the Army Reserves, and he had to stay in shape, and Clint certainly wasn’t complaining about what the workouts did for his boyfriend’s physique. Clint was starting at technical school in the fall, studying to be an audio mixer. Things would be changing soon, but not just then.

That summer, time was lazy and endless. Bucky would come back from his run and lay his sweaty body down on top of Clint’s, kissing him awake, and they’d rub off against each other until they both came. Or they’d dart away from their friends in the middle of dinner, running up to their room and barely getting the door locked before Clint was shoving down Bucky’s pants to get his mouth on his cock.

And some nights, they were painstakingly tender, just kissing for what felt like hours before they even took their clothes off. Bucky liked things a little rough, and Clint liked things a little sweet, and they’d found something in the middle that was perfect for both of them.

“Just fucking hold me down and make me feel it, Clint,” Bucky would say sometimes, and Clint would kiss his jaw and tug his hair a little and fuck into him harder until Bucky was crying out beneath him.

It was their first summer, and everything was perfect.

*

At thirty, Clint is starting to fall into the sorts of routines that a younger version of himself would have detested.

Even worse...he kinda likes it.

But there’s just something soothing and comforting about knowing what’s ahead. Sure, it’s romantic to think about being a starving artist, but the reality of it wasn’t so sexy. Turns out that if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. And sometimes in the music industry, you don’t get paid even when you do work. So Clint works his ass off. All the time. He’s still riding a bubble, and he’s gonna ride the hell out of it until it breaks.

He wakes up, and he makes coffee. He fills his travel mug, and he and Lucky take a lazy walk through the park. Clint listens to the birds chirp, and he slurps his coffee, and he hides behind his sunglasses and doesn’t make eye contact with any of his well-meaning neighbors. Too early for that shit.

He goes back home, and Lucky inevitably fucks off somewhere to nap while Clint stretches. He’d tried meditation, but he can’t bear being quite that alone with his own thoughts. He can be alone with his body, though. He runs through his muscle groups, mindfully and thoughtfully working out the best way to stretch his sternocleidomastoid or his serratus anterior. He likes how he feels afterwards, all loose and wiggly, and it puts him in a good frame of mind for a morning listening session.

He has a second cup of coffee in his sunroom while he listens to the playback from the previous day. He combs through voicenotes and reads old journals, idly recalling stories about himself. He doesn’t create anything just yet. He listens with an open mind. And then he listens a second time, and he absorbs, and he makes notes about what he likes or how something could be different.

And then he sets a timer for forty minutes while he has lunch in front of the TV, and he fucks around on his email for a bit, and sometimes if he eats real fast he jerks off. And sometimes if he’s been seeing someone, he texts them, catches up, makes plans for later. Sometimes he plays video games. Sometimes he remembers to water his plants.

(Mostly, he jerks off.)

And then it’s back to work in the afternoon. More coffee. More listening, but this time with editing, rerecording, rewriting. He creates new voicenotes. He jots down new lyrics. He thinks about things he wants to talk about someday that he’s not ready to talk about now.

And then in the late afternoon, he ventures out of the house again. He goes to a cafe, or he grabs some more coffee, or he goes to the bank or the grocery store or the mall. And he exists among people, the way his therapist told him to. And he smiles at three strangers, and he overhears people’s conversations, and he reminds himself that there is an entire universe outside his head, just like there’s an entire universe inside of it.

And then he goes home, makes dinner, jerks off, swaps his coffee for whiskey, waits until he gets really, really tired, and then…

Then he fucking sings.

*

They got the band name from one of the weird, macabre love poems that Clint was always painstakingly copying down into his notebooks, trying to record the bits of weird beauty he saw in the world that mirrored the strangeness he sensed inside of himself. He felt less alone to see strangeness in others.

My darling, I will love you until the winter hawk cleans my bones And in her desperation, she will discover that my flesh only tastes of you

“It’s so gross,” Bucky had said with a curious sort of awe, and Clint felt so vulnerable in the silence that followed, because it was gross, but it was important to him.

Clint wanted to be so fucking in love that it chewed him up. He wanted love to shred him with her talons. And he could imagine himself getting there with Bucky. He thought they could be epic. He was still holding back some secret parts of himself, but if he let those go, he thought he could love Bucky so hard that it consumed him and he finally, finally lost himself.

And Bucky kept staring at the words scrawled in Clint’s notebook, traced his fingertip over the blue ink, following the same pattern Clint’s pen had taken as he’d lovingly copied down the words. And there was a furrow in his brow as he read and reread, and just as Clint thought he might explode from the anticipation, Bucky looked up at him with a small smile.

“I get it, I think,” he said slowly. “The desperation, I mean.”

“Yeah?” Clint wasn’t sure he was even breathing anymore, he was so close to losing it.

“The way a predator becomes a scavenger,” Bucky said thoughtfully, and there it was, that nerdy side of Bucky that Clint loved so fiercely. “Taking the scraps if that’s the only choice you have. Being just...so hungry.” He ran his thumb over Clint’s wrist, and Clint shivered.

“Hungry how?” he managed to croak out.

“Feel like I could just eat you up sometimes,” Bucky murmured. “When I first met you, I didn’t think you even liked me at all.”

“I did, though,” Clint protested weakly. “I was crazy about you from that first time I saw you.”

“I didn’t know it,” Bucky said. “Didn’t even know if I really liked boys or not, but I wanted you, and it felt like….” He frowned and looked at his thumb slowing arcing over Clint’s skin. “Felt like it didn’t even matter if you liked me back. Just me liking you was so much. And I would have eaten any scrap of anything you gave me, baby.”

“And now?” Clint asked, and his heart was an out-of-control metronome.

“Same thing now,” Bucky said, chewing on his lip. “Any bit of you I could have. I’d eat up all you gave me and I’d starve for more before I wanted a single damn bite of anyone else.”

“I love you,” Clint had whispered then, the first time he’d said those words out loud to anyone.

“I love you, too,” Bucky had replied, a hopeful smile breaking across his face and scrunching up his eyes, and Clint was so terrified and relieved and happy that he could barely stand it.

They pushed their mouths together and tried to kiss, but neither of them could stop grinning long enough to make it work.

*

Clint goes to therapy once a month. He takes his Lexapro every night. He has a notebook full of therapy homework, and he makes lists of his accomplishments and his failures, and when he goes to therapy, he shows up with an agenda. He is working to fix multiple parts of his life. He makes progress in different areas, a step on one path, a leap on another, a little stumble here. He’s an amoeba, and his pseudopods creep towards his goals, engulfing and consuming one after the other, slow and steady.

Get a dog? Check.

Learn how to cook healthy(ish) meals? Check.

Spend more time outside? Check.

Stop being so hateful towards myself? Check(ish).

Learn how to have sex with someone without falling in love with him? Check.

Learn how to have sex with someone without immediately thinking of Bucky afterwards?

Well.

It’s a work in progress.

*

Something flashbacky about being deaf

*

Clint’s newest album is called Mono Songs for a Stereo World, and all he’s finished so far is the title and the concept.

He connected with Tony Stark at SxSW last year and drunkenly talked his ear off about his idea to create songs for people with hearing conditions, mixed specifically to accommodate their abilities. He’d woken up the next morning with a raging hangover and a three minute voicemail from Tony describing the prototype software he’d slapped together. And now they’re...not exactly partners, but Clint comes up with ideas, and Tony turns them into reality.

And now Clint has all the technology he needs to create a fully customizable digital album. Fans will be directed to a website that tests their hearing, determines what wavelengths they can detect at which volumes, and then Tony’s tech will generate a downloadable version of Clint’s album that sits perfectly within their range of hearing. It works flawlessly. They’re probably not going to make much money off of it, but Clint’s been working his whole life towards something like this, and he can’t believe how close he finally is.

So all he needs to do is, like. Find some inspiration somewhere and write ten to twelve songs and then record all of them and mix them once and then feed them into Tony’s algorithm and re-mix the songs and then do maybe 40 test mixes on each one.

Simple, really.

*

It was easy for the two of them to form a band. Clint was always writing his weird poetry, and Bucky loved it. Loved the sound of his voice wrapping around the shapes of his words. And Bucky was good enough with a guitar, and it was just one more way for them to be together. It just made sense.

They called the band Winterhawk, and sure, Clint probably always took it a little more seriously than Bucky did, but that was Clint. He threw himself into everything like that back then, reckless and headstrong and passionate and unafraid. He loved Bucky so much, and he loved the band so much, and Bucky loved him and the band, too. Maybe just a little less, but still plenty enough for Clint.

Summer ended, and they found a reasonably priced studio apartment in the city. Bucky paid most of the rent, but he had a trust fund he was still working his way through before his parents disinherited him, plus he made great tips bartending.

wip title game

#asks #me me me #winterhawk #i'm writing a thing #bigbrotherlouis

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The End of Year Awards Are Back... and This Time, It’s Personal!

And so we approach the end of 2020, the year that never really began. On paper, at least, it looked incredibly promising. There were lots of great movies slated to come out; culture seemed slightly less paucity-riddled and pointless than usual; good things were in the air. Then COVID happened, and basically fucked everything. Actually, that’s not quite true: my personal year has been fucking spectacular. I’m in a long-term relationship with a gorgeous woman for the first time in forever- no more abrupt trysts and stolen moments for yer humble narrator: I’ve got a sumptuously plus-size lady-friend who actually wants to spend substantial amounts of time me (and has knockers you could sled down, were you so inclined). I also started a Youtube channel where I upload performances of magic tricks I’ve designed and a few people seem to quite like it. Oh, and I’ve written four novels, with a fifth well on its way to completion. Unfortunately, that’s my life, not the life of our civilisation and culture as a whole. The fact that bugger all happened in that makes this end-of-year round-up a little hard to write. With that in mind, I’m going to hand out the gongs for 2020, but I’m also going to do my usual dodge of giving end-of-year awards to things that I discovered in 2020, even if they came out the year, decade or century before. It’s not like any right-minded person gives a hoot about my opinion anyway. Right then, everyone clear on the rules? Then let’s roll up our sleeves and plunge elbow deep into the fetid trough of our decaying society to ferret out the best and worst of the Things That Humans Have Done Recently.

The ‘I Like It Because It Confused Thick People’ Award for Best High-Concept Sci-Fi Movie... … Goes to the sterling Tenet, a spy film that used entropy inversion and symmetric, opposite-direction timelines within the same physical space the way most spy films use hacking and guns. Christopher Nolan films are always intricately constructed and meticulously-executed, but this one must have had Japanese Master Puzzle-Box Makers crying into their breakfast cereal. Is breakfast cereal a thing in Japan? I honestly I have no idea. For some reason, all I can imagine is a sort of dry kedgeree where all the ingredients that aren’t rice have been removed. But I digress. For all its intricacy, Tenet is actually really easy to follow once you’ve grasped the basic premise that there’s a machine that lets people move backwards through time, and that this makes them appear to move in reverse to the rest of the world while they perceive the rest of the world as moving in reverse. Nolan maintains a mastery of cinematic visual language that makes even the most abstruse concept easy to wrap your head around. Nonetheless, following Tenet’s release, dumb people took to the Internet on mass to complain that the film was confusing and stupid, never once realising that their inability to conceptualise time in non-linear ways was their own failing, not Nolan’s. I find that refreshing. It’s nice to see a sci-fi film that’s actually made for smart-cookie sci-fi fans and doesn’t give a hoot if it alienate thickos.

The Award for Most Inexplicably Compelling Web Comic… … Goes to Questionable Content. I originally started reading Questionable Content because I’d heard that the female lead and love interest was a plus size lassie and that shit’s my jam. However, the art style makes everyone look like a skinny indie-type, regardless of their actual, in-universe size, so it doesn’t do much to titillate my Fat Admiring Titillation Centres. And yet, I’m over five hundred ‘episodes’ in and still reading. The thing is, I couldn’t tell you why for the life of me. Maybe it’s the hope that the art style will evolve to the point where the people look like actual human beings with different body types (but then, why would I care unless I was invested for some other reason). Maybe it’s the fact that when I get one of the many, many obscure band or pop culture references, I feel a little buzz of kinship with the writer. Maybe it’s the fact that it takes place in a universe where robots and superheroes are things that regularly happen, yet most of the strips are just normal people chatting shit in a coffee shop and the slice-of-life narrative/sci-fi setting appeals to my sense of juxtaposition. I don’t know, but I find it really compelling to the extent that I’ve pissed away entire days reading it. I have a horrible feeling that it’s a short step from this to really angsty hentai. If I start singing the praises of that, somebody please shoot me in the crotch.

The ‘Forest Gump Debating Peter Andre’ Award For Most Sustained or Elongated Instance of Stupidity… … Goes to Donald Trump. I was tempted just to award this gong to his entire presidency, but that wasn’t just stupid: it was also venal, corrupt, horrifying and punctuated by terrible moments of low cunning. So, instead, this award goes to his ‘soup’ rant. For those of you who missed it, the former President of the United States spent a really, really long time (in the run-up to the election) wittering on about protestors throwing cans of soup at police. What was dumb and weird about it was that he appeared to be extolling the virtues of soup as a siege weapon, going into really specific detail about how it was better than a brick because it could be thrown with more force, finishing with the utterance that protestors would just argue that “this is just soup for my family” if they were caught with the cans… which is phrased wrong in such a subtle and inhuman way it’s hard to imagine that anyone actually ever said it, at least in those words. I have no idea if protestors in America were throwing soup cans at police (which would be entirely justified considering how many innocent people American police have murdered in cold blood quite recently) or if this was a fantasy dreamed up by the former president in the cloudcuckooland that is his diseased little brain. Either way, the connected rant was balls deep in dumb.

The Most Disturbing Unintentional Impression of Vincent Price Award… … Goes to the narrator from One Step Beyond, a Twilight Zone-esque anthology of weirdness that purports to be based on true events and has to be seen to be believed. The stories are oft-disturbing instances of spooky-inflected human drama and can occasionally be quite disconcerting… until they’re book-ended by a dude who sounds like Vincent Price reading a children’s book in a really earnest voice. It’s weird and no, it didn’t hit our screens in Space Year 2020, it dates back to Ye Olden Times of the 1950s or 60s, when men were men, women were women and technincolour was a distant dream that could get you strung up for witchcraft. Nonetheless, I only encountered it this year, so it’s getting its prize. I warned you I was going to pull this shit, but you foolish fools didn’t listen.

The ‘It’s Not Gay If I Don’t Clench’ Award for Cognitive Dissonance… … Goes to Amazon Prime, the content-making branch of evil, tax-dodging, anti-monopoly-law-breaking megalith Amazon. You see, while Big Daddy Amazon is off being incredibly sinister and worrying, like a shifty vampire hanging off the economy’s throat, the creative people at Amazon Prime are busy making or acquiring some of the flat-out best TV ever committed to a streaming-service, from the extra-weird slice of fun-pie that is The Tick, to the entertainingly horrifying cultural dissection of The Boys to the utterly unique Carnival Row, to the superbly adapted American Gods. It’s a bit like discovering that Geoffrey Dahlmer single-handedly created a body of artistic work to rival Vincent Van Gogh’s when he wasn’t pouring acid onto the brains of emotionally vulnerable young adults. It gives me a headache.

The Clint Eastwood Award for Most Effective Older Gentlemen… … Goes to Joe Biden, for unseating dipshit in chief Donald Trump with the casual badassery of a Wild West gunslinger shooting a baddy (probably played by Leonardo Di Caprio) in the balls. I mean, he’s not the best Prez America could ask for but a) as a Brit I don’t have to care and b) anyone who ousts Trump gets mad props from me.

The ‘It’s a Pity Everything Else is Shit Now’ Award for Best New Ongoing Series… … Goes to my own Youtube series, Victor The Magician, in which I claim to be a reality-hopping, interdimensional wizard on an endless quest to… perform magic, basically. I’ll admit that the quality is super-variable (Youtube algorithms and their constant demand for fresh content be a harsh mistress, etc., etc.). However, when I’m good, I’m really good. If you’re looking for a punch-line other than the fact that this whole bit is a self-promoting plug, it’s this: my Youtube series really was the best thing to come out this year. Not because I’m great or anything, just by default. A promising year really did turn into a cultural wasteland the moment COVIDius Rex reared its scaly head.

The Zombie Ian Curtis Award for Most Crushing Disappointment… … Goes to Rick and Morty Series 4. As I think I’ve said before, it was still good, but it just didn’t reach the dizzy heights of nihilistic lunacy achieved in series 1-3. I think the problem is that the audience is meant to learn something from Rick’s poor choices, even if he doesn’t, because the creators saw the amazing success of Bojack Horseman and decided they wanted a slice of that sweet, tangy deconstructionist pie. It worked up to a point in the climax of Series 3, but having made their point, the showrunners probably should have moved onto a different point. They forgot that the appeal of Rick Sanchez is his combination of ‘entertaining car-crash of a human being’ and ‘unstoppable superbeing’. Push him through an arc and you risk breaking the thing that makes him and the show so endlessly watchable. Rick, unlike Bojack, just wasn’t built for heavy introspection. Also, the team hired on new writers who were less than familiar with the characters, setting and subtext, and that’s always an invitation to disaster.

The Special Sir Mixalot Award for Posteriority… ...Goes to… my girlfriend and glamorous assistant, Mystic Miss Terri, who’s arse is gorgeous and majestic.

The ‘Are They STILL Making That?’ Award for a Show You Forgot Existed And is Now Back… … Goes to Supernatural, which never technically went away and whose final series is apparently being broadcast on one of the 4 channels (though who knows which one, any more), It’s kind of nice to realise it’s still out there and be reminded that there are still people who care deeply about what happens to it. It’s like when you remember ‘oh yeah, [insert cute animal here] actually exists and isn’t just an internet meme. That’s nice’. Also, it’s good to see Jared Padelacki working steadily. It can’t be easy to find acting gigs when most producers just want to shoot you and mount your antlers over a fireplace.

The Irritating Magician Award for Something That Just Won’t Fuck Off… ...Goes to this blog entry, which is three pages long in Word. Good grief. Bye y’all! See you next year, assuming that the last few days of 2020 don’t culminate in a civilisation-destroying attack by giant space-ants. If that seems worryingly specific, let’s just say that- as Leonard Cohen would say “I’ve seen the future and, brother, it is murder”… by giant space-ants.

#Secret Diary of a Fat Admirer #2020 #2021 #New Year

[of-muppets-and-men]

Qrow as Ruby’s Dad

I am fully aware of the ugly can of worms I am opening just by discussing this but whatever. Here we go.

Just a disclaimer, I mean no disrespect to Monty, Miles or Kerry. I am simply stating the possibility and leaving all options on the table.

The idea of Qrow being Ruby’s biological father has been around since Qrow was introduced back in Volume 3. And although it’s been shot down by the creator and current writers of the show, I’m going to go over as much I can to show that the theory/headcanon still has some level of validity.

This is also pretty long so brace yourself.

Point #1: The Writers

Monty originally “debunked” this theory while dismissing another by saying Yang and Ruby were half-sisters. And recently it was debunked again by Miles, who outright said Qrow wasn’t her dad. The word of the Writer’s is, under most circumstances, Law. But let me say this: What is the one thing you are supposed to do above all else? Preserving your narrative, meaning doing everything you can to protect your plot.

Many writers have concealed or just lied to their audience about certain plot points to maintain the story. And just because Monty, Miles and Kerry don’t seem like they would, doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of it.

Why would Monty lie? Because Ruby and Yang being sisters was what he had presented at the time. Qrow was only a name at the time, so revealing so detrimental so soon wouldn’t make any sense for the show’s longevity. Thus, he kept his lips sealed.

Now there’s Miles; why would he outright deny this theory. Well, if I had to guess, it would be to quell the speculation, to stop people from outwardly talking about it. Has he succeeded? For the most part, yes. Fans and Haters alike have stopped discussing it en mass, but it hasn’t stopped fanfic writers and artists much.

While debunking this theory, Miles gave his reasoning to be “Ruby just admires him so much that she mimics a lot of what Qrow does.”.

Let’s unpack that for a moment.

What about Ruby’s character is reminiscent of Qrow?  Ruby is, by all accounts, opposite to Qrow in many facets of her personality. She overwhelmingly optimistic, despite witnessing the deaths of Penny and Pyrrha. She’s open and honest, though a bit naive and socially awkward, but after all she’s still a teenager. Qrow, from the few accounts we know of, is actually pretty suave and quite the ladies man too.

Basically, anything Ruby is, Qrow is not. The only real thing that statement applies too, is her love of her scythe, but even then that argument is flimsy. As an impressionable young girl with a passion for weapons/huntsman, and then seeing her uncle wielding the coolest weapon in entire show; I mean who wouldn’t want a scythe at that point.

Point #2: Appearance

First and foremost, the most obvious thing people tend to bring up; Ruby’s appearance. In current canon, Taiyang is Ruby’s father, but you’d never be able to tell as they share absolutely no physical traits or attributes. Already a bit strange, no? Now I get Ruby is SUPPOSED to be a near spitting image of her mom, Summer Rose, but to no share anything with Tai is a bit of stretch.

Then there’s Yang in stark (hehe) contrast; who is a near even split of her parents. She has Raven’s long bushy hair, is taller than most other girls, has Raven’s general shape of face and paler skin, but is blonde and has lilac eyes; a combination of Raven’s red eyes and Tai’s blue eyes (even though that isn’t how genetics works but whatever). Even Yang’s outfits have been greatly inspired by Tai’s in terms of colour palette and design.

Even comparing other characters within RWBY, such as Weiss, Blake or Ren, have a striking resemblance to both their parents/siblings. So for Ruby to not designed in a similar fashion is odd to say the least. Ruby isn’t exactly identical to Qrow by means, she stills shares a great deal more with Qrow than we’ve ever seen with Taiyang.

Qrow is also a fraternal twin. Or in other words, Ruby is also liable to look like Raven too. Male and Female character models are different looking in RWBY, so it’s reasonable to think to Ruby would share some traits with her could-be aunt.

Ruby’s current overall aesthetic has subtle cues from both Qrow and Summer. Dark but red tipped hair, her mother’s eyes and a near identical outfit. Ruby’s cloak is red and tattered like Qrow’s, but large and hooded like Summer’s. Her aura is red, but generates flower petals when she uses her semblance. Ruby even had Cross as her emblem, until it was changed to be the same as her mom’s. But even still, she had cross pins in her cloak till her outfit change in Volume 4. Only one character shares this cross motif, and it’s you guessed it, Qrow.

One minor thing is that Ruby’s alternative outfit in Volume 2, dubbed Slayer, gives her a noticeably large resemblance to Qrow; even more so than her current or former outfits.

I’m very aware that any of this could be just simple coincidence and random choices in design but let me say this. Colour is an underlying basis for RWBY, and it plays a semi essential role in the show’s lore. So for it’s main protagonist’s colour pallette have next to nothing to do with her actual parent, but share parallels and such to someone she has no genetic relation to is, to me, unbelievably suspect. If Ruby was a strawberry blonde or even a bit tanned, we wouldn’t be even having this discussion, but given everything we know, it just doesn’t add up.

I’ve seen a handful of people say that it doesn’t matter that Ruby doesn’t look like Taiyang or It’s okay because not all children look like both parents. Well that may be true in reality, but in RWBY, this is contrary to the underlying theme of the show.

Point #3: Ruby’s Mentor

Let’s look at Ruby’s phenomenal skill with the scythe. As we well know, Qrow was her mentor and taught her most of her current fighting skills. However, this begs the question of why Qrow taught her and not Taiyang. Taiyang is incredibly skilled at hand to hand combat and is evidently a good teacher, as he trained Yang and currently still is a professor/licensed huntsman.

So why is Ruby so utterly abysmal without Crescent Rose? Since she’s Tai’s daughter, you’d think she’d be at least somewhat talented like Yang but such isn’t the case here. Why would Taiyang heavily train Yang, but leave Ruby practically defenseless (given her dream of being a huntress too)? Seems a bit strange no matter how you look at it.

However. There is something I noticed about Qrow. We know and seen how badass he is with Harbinger in tow; his skills are nothing to scoff at. Many in the RWBY universe are aware of Qrow’s prowess and would prefer to not engage him at all. But when Harbinger was wretched from his hand during his fight with Tyrian, he showed that he is capable without his weapon.

The thing that’s intriguing is he looked very rigid and doesn’t seem too confident without his scythe, especially comparing him to hand-to-hand combatants like Yang or Mercury. It felt like it was just a ‘screw it’ moment so to speak. A weird thing to point out, I know, but it creates another parallel between him and Ruby. Masters of the scythe that don’t fare too well without it.

Point #4: Ruby’s Name

A small thing to point is why Ruby has her surname as Rose. Ruby Xiao Long doesn’t flow off the tongue by any stretch, but there must be some other reason why she hasn’t taken Tai’s last name. Is it to honour Summer? Or is it because she isn’t a Xiao Long at all?

Now a point I don’t love but must mention is the line from Qrow’s theme song Bad Luck Charm.

The line in question is “You don’t want the burden of my name”. Many believe it is Qrow referring to Ruby and how she’s better not being known as a Branwen. As Qrow mentioned, his tribe is a group of “killers and thieves” and likely didn’t want a innocent child to be associated with such a group. There’s a chance it could mean he deliberately convinced Summer to let Ruby have her name, to protect her from the Tribe’s retribution. If Ruby was a Branwen on top of being a SEW, it would likely make her a target for not only Salem’s forces but bounty hunters too. (Going after Ruby to punish the “Traitor” so to speak)

Point #5: Qrow’s Semblance

An argument against Qrow being Ruby’s Dad is that it doesn’t make sense to hide the truth from her but then teach her the most difficult weapon to master in Remnant. While at first glance, this is a fair argument, but let me dive a bit deeper.

In Episode 8 of Volume 4, we learned that Qrow’s semblance is Misfortune. It intermittently causes bad luck to every person around him, from simple inconveniences like a bartender dropping a glass to life threatening things like a massive beam almost falling on Ruby. This gives him a logical reason for his loner persona.

He can’t control what will and can happen to his friends, his allies, or his family. He is, much to his own grief, a constant danger to those he loves. Why does this matter? Because he’d be Ruby’s only remaining parent; meaning she’d always want to be with him, ironically putting herself in more danger. He’d keep the truth from her until she was hopefully old to understand why he kept it from her.

Qrow was also a former Professor at Signal Academy. Though most of the details of his career as a teacher are sadly unknown, It can be at least gathered his semblance wasn’t potent enough to cause too much trouble on campus or he’d have never been allowed as a teacher in the first place (perhaps it’s less effective in crowds?).

Now Qrow likely would have trained Ruby in a controlled environment to ensure his semblance would cause as little damage as possible. Qrow and Ruby are arguably the two closest characters in the series as far as we know and they have been shown to be this way. They understand each other, know each other’s mannerisms and Ruby even gets Qrow pervy jokes. So it’s no shock to think Qrow knew much she idolized the hunter lifestyle and helped her live out her dream, all the while getting to spend time with his baby girl.

Point #6: The Timeline

Another thing many have taken note of is the amount of time it took Taiyang to father both Yang and Ruby. The math is a bit difficult as we don’t know Yang’s birthday, but let’s get an estimate.

As of Volume 6, Yang is about 19 and Ruby is about 17.

Ruby’s birthday is October 31st, so she was conceived near the end of January or early February. Yang was likely already around 15 months (give or take) at the time of Ruby’s conception. In short, Taiyang would have had Yang, been abandoned by Raven, gotten together with Summer and impregnated her in little more than a year. A situation like this is not impossible, but it is extremely unlikely.

Getting over a significant other varies per person, but given how Tai talks about Raven; it doesn’t seem like their relationship has run its course quite yet. Summer was most likely helping Tai because he genuinely needed it. Dealing with a newborn and the fact his lover just left him alone, Tai wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind.

In “Two steps forward and two steps back”, Tai finally opens up to Yang about her mother. The way he speaks about Raven feels as though he still fondly remembers her, despite her leaving so abruptly. It feels as if he still loves her, but if that’s the case, why would he shack up with Summer and have another child so quickly? Anyway you slice it, this is a pretty irresponsible thing to do.

UNLESS, Taiyang was never a part of the equation and Summer and Qrow were together the entire time.

Another thing people tend to point is why Qrow would have Ruby believe Taiyang was her father and Yang her sister.  Simple, he didn’t want her to feel isolated. Her mom was gone, and he couldn’t there for her. Children can be cruel, and Ruby not having a dad around would definitely be fuel for any and all types of bullying. Making Ruby and Yang “sisters” would have been made things simple; Qrow was already Yang’s Uncle so why not Ruby’s too.

And if this were canon, it would mean Qrow gave up his only child, just so she could have some semblance of a proper family; something he never had or would be able to give her. That is weapon’s grade bittersweet.

A reason Qrow could be hesitant to reveal himself is because of the backlash. Ruby is just a teenager and to drop a bomb on her like that would be a terrible thing to do. Tai wouldn’t be her dad, Yang wouldn’t be her sister and she’d have to come to terms with the fact the two adults she trusted the most have been actively lying to her face her entire life. Qrow is fully aware of the fact of how this revelation could shatter her whole world. So instead of causing her anguish, he lets her live in happy ignorance with her friends.

Point #7: Scenes of Interest

Now there is a handful of moments from the show that highlight the relationship between Ruby and Qrow. I’m going to over a few that are questionable, to me at least.

First the most notable scene is from finale of Volume 3. Ruby is safely at home, in bed, while Taiyang patiently waits for her to awaken. When she does, she asks Tai about what happened. In his brief recollection, he makes a small mention of her silver eyed abilities. Ruby asks him to clarify, but Taiyang immediately dismisses the subject.

Enter Qrow and he then asks Taiyang to “give them a minute”. Taiyang retorts but ultimately leaves to make tea, letting Ruby and Qrow talk. He asks her if she recalls what happened, to which she does through tears. Seemingly out of nowhere, Qrow then asks if she remembered what Ozpin first said to her; something about silver eyes. He goes off about supposed legendary warriors he Grimm singularly feared and how Ruby was special just like her mom.

(The line ‘You’re special, Ruby. and not in the “daddy loves his special angel” kinda way’ is also really interesting. Is it a throwaway line or foreshadowing?)

This seems like a relatively normal scenario until you realize a couple things. Why is Qrow asking Tai to leave the room? And why does Tai give practically no resistance to the notion? Taiyang should have absolute authority, not only as Ruby’s father, but as the owner of the household too. Yet, he relinquishes control of the situation as if it wasn’t his place, as if he knew he shouldn’t be there. 

Qrow’s simple yet sincere plea of  ‘Tai… please.’ is peculiar because it sounds like he needed to do this, as if it was his responsibility to Ruby. Tai even gives Qrow a small scowl when he exits the room, so there is some discord here, but not enough Tai to act on it. Reinforcing the idea that Tai knows he shouldn’t argue.

Stranger still, Qrow is the one that tells Ruby of her abilities and the first person to liken her to Summer. The fact Qrow, who isn’t an open book by ANY means, was the one to tell her such important albeit limited information about her lineage, while Tai continued to keep as much as he could from her is a dubious sign something is up. As a parent, it should have been Taiyang's duty to comfort Ruby in such trying times, telling her about herself and about Summer.

Another scene that was weird to me was in ‘A Much Needed Talk’. After Qrow finished telling Team RNJR of the gods, maidens, relicts and so on, Ruby asks him if there was anything else he wanted to tell them. A second after she asked, Raven in corvid form perches herself on a nearby branch, prompting Qrow to say “not tonight”. But what could Qrow possibly say that Raven doesn’t already know about? Raven is already privy to Ozpin and Salem’s secret war, about maidens and the relicts. What information could Qrow not want Raven to know about? (A secret child perhaps? Imagine the blackmail between Raven and Qrow if this were the case) 

Even over the course of the show, Qrow has been continuously protecting Ruby all her life. Killing Grimm to keep safe and diving in at the last moment when she’s in a real bind. He goes unnecessarily out of his way for her, but doesn’t do the same when his actual niece needs it. Very dedicated for an “Honorary Uncle”.

There are many minor nuances in Volume 6 (specifically Episodes 10-12) as well; many of which having to do with the way Qrow looks when Ruby is danger. When she misses the cliff, the camera switches to Qrow; absolutely horrified when she starts falling.

Another time is when Ruby gets bold and dives into the Mech’s cannon, the camera again pans to Qrow about to have a damn heart attack. The look on Qrow’s face both times conveys the idea of the fact Qrow is terrified of losing Ruby. Perhaps the same way he lost Summer, and perhaps lose the last piece of her he has left. Bottom line is, this doesn’t look like an uncle concerned for his niece, it’s a father worried for the safety of his child.

Lastly, when Qrow catches Ruby after she comes flying out the cannon. The worry on his face tells the same story. The gentle nudge and the panic when she doesn’t immediately wake up is highly reminiscent of when Tai waited for her to wake up in Volume 3; is my baby girl okay?

And a quick shoutout to @anthurak who made a very in-depth post about the Father-Daughter dynamic of Qrow and Ruby in Volume 6. I highly recommend it if haven’t read it already.

Point #8: Qrow’s Alcoholism and Summer’s Death

Though not overtly obvious, it would appear Qrow’s drinking problem and Summer’s passing are intertwined to a degree.

First there is the photo of his team from when they were still together. Why does he tote this ragged photo around with him? Well if you take a closer look, you can make out a ring of condensation around Summer. You typically only get such stains from cups and glasses, so it would seem Qrow used the photo as a coaster to hide the image of Summer.

But why? Well, Summer, being deceased, is the only member of his team he can’t see anymore, but it seems as though he was closer to her than the rest of STRQ.

From what can be gathered, Qrow broke down while drinking over the loss of Summer and was so devastated that he couldn’t even bare to look at a picture of her. Grief like this usually stems from the loss of someone of immeasurable importance to you; a parent, a child, or a significant other.

According to psychology, losing a spouse (child too but not applicable here) is the most stressful thing that can happen to an adult. A loss of this magnitude can have lasting effects for years after their passing. Given Qrow’s previously mentioned breakdown and continuous drinking, it’s very likely that Summer was of said importance to him. I’m not trying to undermine Taiyang’s own grief, giving that he “shut down” when Qrow told him what had happened.

Speaking of which When Qrow was still suffering from Tyrian’s venom, so much so he couldn’t walk, he mumbles something; “Tai… She’s not coming… Tai.”. The line implies that Qrow was there when Summer died and he was charged with letting Tai and the girls know happened.

Another moment that reinforces this is from Episode 10 of Volume 6 (8:12 timestamp). Qrow goes a tirade about he’s causing Jaune’s plan to go awry. Then he says ”I shouldn’t have come, shouldn’t have let any you come. What was I THINKING?”. I don’t know about you but to me that sounds like he’s been down this road before. Like he knows something bad will happen again.

Qrow’s alcoholism is exacerbated when he finds out Salem, the very enemy he’s been fighting against for years, cannot be beaten.

This sends him deeper and deeper into despair and when he socks Ozcar in the jaw, he says “Meeting you was the worse luck of my life”. This is a remarkably harsh thing to say, but it feels as though he isn’t regarding himself in this line. Yes, much of Qrow’s life was spent fighting for Oz and all that time is ultimately wasted, but Qrow has lost many friends and allies in this war as well. Chiefest among them I’d say is Summer. If Qrow was intimate with Summer, then her presumably dying at the hands of Salem’s forces was entirely meaningless. The woman he loved and all the huntsman/huntresses he knew died for a lost cause, which is absolutely tragic.

It’s difficult to discuss Qrow being Ruby’s Dad without mentioning another theory; Was Qrow involved in Summer’s death? I personally think he was, though not intentionally. I’m under the impression Summer sacrificed herself to protect him on her last mission but that’s a topic for another time.

Because of Ruby’s large resemblance to her mom, it has been seen giving Qrow flashbacks of his time with Summer.

When Ruby stands up to Qrow for likely the first time in her life (Volume 6 episode 9), Qrow is not only taken aback by his niece’s strength of will, but is also recognizing how much she is like Summer. The camera angles and shots depict it as if it’s history repeating itself, the daughter walking in the mother’s footsteps. Not letting Qrow spew his bullshit is apparently a Rose thing.

Another time in Volume 6 is when Ruby decides to confront Cordovin alone. Qrow tries to stop her but she shoots a look while saying “i need you to trust me”. Qrow glances back at Ruby, and he ultimately relents, brought down by that stare. He’s definitely heard those words before.

While this may not seem important, it actually lays the foundation for when Qrow finally talks about Summer. After all, besides Yang, he’s the only person who’s actually mentioned her, albeit not by name. (Raven too but that was more of an insult)

Point #9: Thematic Purpose

Qrow being Ruby’s dad I find, adds more than it takes away. It doesn’t do as much for the overlaying plot, it does create many avenues for Character Development.

Take Ruby: she’s been the same bundle of optimism and joy since she first debuted. Then take this and flip it on it’s head. Her faith in her loved ones is now crumbling and is in desperate need of guidance. This revelation could potentially be the most impactful event of her entire life. This scenario would see Ruby peel away from her Paragon attitude and give her much needed development.

It would also explain a curious theme in Volume 4. Every member besides Ruby is seen with their father. Yang is shown training and gaining valuable lesson from Tai. Blake is shown to reconnect with her estranged parents for the first time in years. And sadly, it is shown how far Weiss’s relationship with her family has degraded, particularly with Jacque. Only Ruby is left out of this trend. Or is she? Only one person was beside her the whole time, protecting her from Grimm and Tyrian: Qrow.

This would shed much needed light on Qrow too. It would explain practically he’s done, everything he’s put himself through and why he’s loathed himself the entire way. This creates a unexpected parallel between him and Raven too. If Qrow is Ruby’s father, then it would mean he’s been loving her from the sidelines while never really exposing himself. In contrast, Raven abandoned her family though never denying who she was to Yang.

And speaking of Yang, it gives her and Ruby’s relationship development as well. This revelation would mean they are cousins, not sisters, but they could persevere beyond this fact. Imagine Yang embracing her cousin and simply saying “I don’t care what the truth is. You will ALWAYS be my little sister and nothing will change that.” 

And a brief mention to the fact it sheds more light of the dynamic of Team STRQ and by extension Summer herself.

Closing Statement

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty biased on this subject because I adore this theory/head canon and Hummingbird/Flown North is my absolute favourite ship in the fandom without a shadow of a doubt (I prefer the name Hunter’s Dream). I know people who hate this theory/head canon will more than likely shit on this for all it’s worth. But I wanted to finally put my two cents in on this. I will always hope for this to be canon, even though it’s extremely unlikely.

If the writers at one point or another explain/debunk away any of what I've mentioned in the narrative and reinforce the current canon of Taiyang being Ruby’s Dad, I will gladly concede and admit that I was wrong. Until then, I will hold on to the last vestiges of this theory/head canon.

Let a man dream, okay?

#rwby #strq #qrow branwen #summer rose #ruby rose #qrow is ruby's dad #flown north #hummingbird #summer x qrow #qrow x summer #qrow is ruby's father

[tessatechaitea]

Cerebus #18 (1980)

This is the kind of cover that probably kept me thinking this book was too adult for me and that I should just stick to Groo and Elfquest.

In Dave's Swords of Cerebus essay, he explains how he didn't know what the fuck he was doing when he was writing this story and I'll tell you a secret: it fucking shows. He explains how he wrote one idea but realized that idea wasn't going to work and then wrote some other ideas but they weren't going anywhere and then he went back to the first idea and wrote a small novella which still wasn't going to work so then he tried some other idea but couldn't really get anywhere and pretty soon his week that he plans for writing was over and he just had to start drawing one of the scenes. So he picked one and strung it out and then he needed a new scene and took the Lord Julius epilogue and stick that on page 5 and 6. By that time, he sort of had a new idea with the help of his brother-in-law and even though that new idea was pretty lame, what more could he do?! He doesn't admit that his new story is lame; I think he thinks he really pulled one out at the last minute. But it's really kind of lame. I get it though! He's written seventeen previous stories (plus some Cerebus stories that appeared in other magazines) and they were all pretty good and working toward building a portrait of Estarcion and Cerebus and some kind of weird aardvark mystery. He was due to slip up some time! I'm just glad he was honest about how the writing part when all wrong and since he couldn't fall behind on the art, he had to just kind of start drawing and hope for the best. I suppose in that regard, the comic wasn't so bad. It told a coherent story that moves Cerebus' plans for the invasion of Palnu ahead and Dave even gets some funny jokes in. But as far as the extended story goes, not much happens? Cerebus and the T'gitans took over Fluroc by murdering everybody in it and then needed more money for troops and they got more money for troops by conning a merchant that came to town. That's it! That's the whole story! Did we need this story? Probably not! But did we really need any Cerebus story so far? Almost certainly not (with the exception of all the stories that showcased new characters!). But what I really liked about this comic book was the Aardvark Comments section! Things are really getting good finally! It's not just a few nerdy nerds nerding it up for Dave Sim.

I mean, it is some nerdy nerds nerding it up nerdily!

The first letter is what I'm assuming was the introductory or cover letter from Marvel's Jim Shooter when he sent out contracts to prospective employees.

Is this the worst thing Jim Shooter ever wrote? Sadly, it is not.

If you're one of those people who like to describe 95% of everything as "cringe," you'll love Dave Sim's response:

Remember, this was 1980 and "written blackface as hyperbolic response" was probably just something taught in creative writing classes.

Casually whistling past the terrible method of his response the way you simply steer the conversation away from racist tirades every time your grandfather speaks up at Thanksgiving dinner, this feels like the first time Sim really calls out the two big publishers and how they conduct business. It'll become a hallmark of Dave Sim in his crusade for independent publishers. And this sarcastic and also racist response (I can only whistle nonchalantly for so long!) isn't his only response in this Aardvark Comments. But as his first response, I'll assume it's the most closest to how he truly feels about Marvel and DC. In 1980, he's already calling them out on their practice of stealing their employees' intellectual properties. Okay, "stealing." The contract is to make the "stealing" legal so they don't wind up in constant lawsuits and can continue to offer the artists whose creations make them scads of money little to no future compensation on their efforts. Dave Sim could think of no other attack on Marvel than to pretend he's a caricature of a slave. I'm not in disagreement with Dave here and, believe me, in 1980, I almost certainly wouldn't have thought the mintrelesque response was anything but a clever way of making his point. Although I was also 9 in 1980 so I probably would have had to ask an adult why the fuck Dave was writing like that. But as I said, there's more! The next letter is a bit of a response to Dave's crusade against the Big Two Corporations. And from his peers!

I guessed I missed the comments in Issue #15. I'd better go back and see what the Pinis were talking about.

Here's what Dave said in Issue #15's "Aardvark Comment": "Maybe Marvel can turn its corporate back on you. As they never grow tired of explaining, fan sales make up a very small fraction of their profits. They don't think much of your taste in comics, artists, writers or anything else." It's a little hard to parse this comment being that I don't know what was happening in comic books in 1980 concerning the fans and Marvel but doesn't this sound a lot like the Comicsgate argument of today? That Marvel doesn't give a shit about what its "real fans" want? Anyway, back to the Pini's letter. The Pinis' letter reads like Elfquest trying to talk Cerebus out of gutting a merchant. I suppose when you point out that artists and writers working for Marvel and DC are idiots for not publishing their work as an independent, I can see how they might get upset with you. I'm sure Richard and Wendy had a number of discussions with Marv Wolfman where Marv would say things like "I'm not dumb! You're dumb!" or "I'm not a piece of property! You are!" or "I'll show you who's a slave to the man! I'll kill Cyborg!" After that, the Pinis were probably all, "You know what? Criticizing work-for-hire in the comic book arts just isn't worth all these Marv Wolfman tantrums. Let's just bite our tongues." After a couple of letters from some nerd groupies in which Dave laments the target audience of comic books, he responds more in length to the . . . well, wait. Let's first look at his response about his core audience!

I'm offended! I always fix it immediately when a headlight goes out.

I mean, after seventeen issues, "Aardvark Comment" is finally getting interesting! Okay, so now to Sim's actual response to Wendy and Richard Pini.

Dave Sim being serious. Probably.

I'd like to point out the end of this letter in which Dave states fairly plainly the main theme of criticism behind Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea for nearly a decade: "I just don't happen to think that the system in operation now is the best thing for this medium and that it is not the most conducive way to get the best from the creative talents that exist. Quite the opposite, it seems to encourage half-assed efforts in order to guarantee that you are not surrendering your rights to something of value. And how many of us, Steve Gerber included, could know in advance that our ducks were of any value?" This was as true in 1980 as it is now. It's just that in 1980, it was much harder and a lot more work to retain the rights to your creations through self-publishing. So most comic book writers and artists were doing their best work at DC and Marvel. What other reasonable choice was there? Dave and Deni have discussed multiple times across the last dozen and a half issues how hard self-publishing has been for them. Now imagine a company like Image exists or a place like Kickstarter. Creators now know to save their best ideas for places that will give them full control and full potential earnings on their creations. DC and Marvel can't help but be full of writers doing half-assed jobs with their half-assed ideas and saving their truly monumental and mind-blowing work for Image or another, now more easily accessible independent publishing venture. This was in 1980 and Dave Sim was seeing creators screwed out of future royalties on ideas that wound up making fortunes for the parent companies. Some people accept this as business as usual and would be able to garner no sympathy for a creator stiffed out of royalties. But those people are unimaginative, pitiable, and sad. Something being legal has never in the history of everything been a convincing argument that that something is ethical, moral, or just fucking compassionate. Hopefully this "Aardvark Comment" begins to stir some serious discussion with Cerebus readers because I'm eager to read a lot more of Dave's thoughts about comic book publishing and fandom. Eventually there won't be a whole lot of separation between the comic book and the letters page. I mean, when the author inserts himself into the story as both some sort of omniscient being and also another fictionalized author, it gets hard to separate what you believe from the ideas expressed within the story. Cerebus #18 Rating: B-. That rating was for the lackluster story! The "Aardvark Comment" page gets an A! Oh, and I forgot to mention "The Single Page!" Imagine my surprise when I turned the page and saw this:

Tim Kreider in 1989! (Remember, this is from the 1989 Bi-weekly reprints of the 1980 Cerebus #18.)

You can just see Tim's eventual style in these early characters. The main male character is basically a baby-faced version and immature style of his eventual renditions of himself.

This is from Tim Kreider's book of essays and cartoons, We Learn Nothing.

I can't recommend Tim Kreider's essays and cartoons highly enough. Read his books, We Learn Nothing and I Wrote This Book Because I Love You and maybe search the Internet for a cache of his old cartooning website. You probably won't be disappointed. I say probably because I've learned that a lot of people on the Internet aren't exactly like me like I expect you all to be. Idiots.

#Dave Sim #Cerebus #Tim Kreider

[mfackenthal]

The MFackenthal Show with Special Guest @choicesarehard

banner created by the amazing @choicesarehard

Disclaimer:  This interview was conducted on July 1, 2019. 

Megs: Welcome, welcome everyone to my 10th show!  I am so blessed that this show has done so well and the network has given me a full 23 episode slot.  I have to tell you - the remaining 13 slots are currently filled!  Which just means that my producers are working on a season 2.  If you want to be on the show - please let me know.  And if you think someone else should be on the show - let me know that too. In fact, today’s show couldn’t have happened without the help of @leelee10898.  

Tonight, I have a wonderful special guest with me tonight, everyone please give a round of applause to @choicesarehard!

Ellie:  stays seated next to Megs on the couch, gives a little smile and waves to the audience. 

Megs:  Ellie, I am so excited to have you on the show tonight.  When we were chatting backstage, I promised I would start today’s show with a story - something to help you forget that my amazing audience is staring at you.  Hmmm .. I’m trying to think of an embarrassing one … let’s see ... I’ve been taught to always sing loud and proud … but that means people often catch me not quite knowing the words to the song I’m singing.  That’s not terribly embarrassing though … Oh!  I understand that you like to travel … I have to be really careful that I don’t sing when I’m on a plane.  It’s harder for me than it sounds.  Ooooh oooh oh - idea forming right now!  We should have plane karaoke.  I really think flights could be more fun if we had a little more to drink and a few more songs to sing together.  Plus I never forget the words when I’m singing karaoke - the words are always right there on the screen.  

Ellie: laughs.  You would certainly have a captive audience.  

Megs:  Exactly!  Okay, your turn.  Tell me a travel story. 

Ellie: Hmmm ... well, Megs, you see, I’m a Texan, and we tend to be really friendly people. Sometimes, a little too friendly. On a flight home from London recently, a British man in front of us was struggling to fill out his immigration form. He asked the flight attendant “What if I don’t know where I’m staying?” This Texas woman next to me, who does not know this man at all, immediately pipes up, “Sugar, don’t give it another thought, you’ll stay with us. We have a spare room.” And the British man looks absolutely terrified, and squeaks “I meant I don't know the address!” It was the most perfect culture clash I’ve ever seen, and I loved every second of it. 

Megs:  Oh, that is a great story.  Gotta love Texans.  

Ellie:  Agreed!

Megs:  Okay, so Ellie, tell me, when did you join the fandom and what brought you here? 

Ellie:  I joined Tumblr in January, after reading every single Damien x MC story on the Choices Fan Fiction Archive. No, seriously, like, all of them. I was desperately Googling for more content, and discovered all the amazing creators on here. I made an account that night!

Now, as I can be pretty shy, I didn’t make a single post or even comment on stories my first month on Tumblr. I probably would have stayed a wallflower if @walkerismychoice hadn’t written a story so amazing I had to say something. So I sent her a DM and panicked until she responded. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Maggie took me under her wing, showed me how to tag and post, sent me my first Ask, and even encouraged me to write my first drabble! Friends like her and what really brought me away from the metaphorical wall and onto the fandom dance-floor.

Megs:  And we’re so glad you are here!  Megs turns to the audience.  As there may be a few of you here who don’t know Ellie very well, let me tell you - she is multi-talented. Not only does she write, but she also creates gorgeous edits.  Seriously, did you see that banner of us when you first turned on the show?  That was all Ellie!  She’s amazing. 

Ellie:  Megs - stop, you’re making me blush!

Megs:  Nope, won’t stop.  Seriously Ellie, you should charge a commission fee! I would have paid for my icon and banners!!! *wink* Ellie:  Ha! You are the sweetest, and I actually get that a lot. But edits are my little way of saying thank you to the fandom for being so kind to the new kid! 

Megs:  Awh, you’re not so new anymore, friend!  So tell us a little about your work.  What’s your favorite work that you’ve written?  

Ellie:  Oh goodness, I can be pretty critical of my own work, but I’m trying to shake that habit.  And I am definitely proud of His Hands. Sometimes the things we hate about ourselves are the things that draw others to us, and it was fun to show both those perspectives in one piece.

Megs:  Oh, that is so beautiful!  Can you tell me more about your edits? 

Ellie:  The edits started as a way to illustrate one of my Outfit Drabbles — these kind of insane little stories I write about the worst outfits in the game. But I started doing edits seriously about two months ago! Clearly, it has kind of spiraled out of control since then, and I’m slapping wrinkles and tattoos and prison uniforms on everyone. I’ve also started making Choices Aesthetics recently. I love trying to capture the feeling and mood of a book or character in just six panels. My Wishful Thinking Emu board is probably my favorite thing I’ve ever made. 

Megs:  Everyone should check those out.  That Wishful Thinking board is amazing!  So, do you prefer writing or the edits? 

Ellie: Oh Megs! Don’t make me choose! Oh goodness, let me think. Making an edit is definitely more fun than writing. I’m giggling almost the entire time I’m creating one. And it’s a much, much faster process. But I pour so much of myself into my stories, and I really love getting to share them with other fans. And I think my stories mean more to me on a personal level. So uh...both? Can I say both? 

Megs:  Of course! I mean, I should probably share something really fast ... if ever I am playing a game - I will look for a way to cheat.  So in either/or questions - I highly respect an answer of both.  

Ellie:  That does explain so much about you, Megs. 

Megs:  Laughs.  Okay, well, getting back to you sharing your work with this fandom.  What do you love about this fandom?  Is there anything you’re less than happy with? 

Ellie: I love how welcoming the fandom is to new writers and artists. My first drabble was literally 77 words… and I had a whopping 13 followers. It should have been totally lost in the noise. But wonderful people like @bobasheebaby @sinclaire-made-me-sin and @ritachacha were so supportive; it made me feel brave enough to write a second story, and a third, and…well, here we are!

And listen, I know no online experience is going to be perfect, but if I don’t like a given topic or series I just filter it from my dashboard, or unfollow the user.  Beyond that, I just try to surround myself with people who are kind. 

Megs:  Do you have any advice for other people in the fandom?  Especially other fanfic writers? 

Ellie: I’m an incredibly slow writer. Seriously, trees grow to maturity while I finish a single drabble. And it can be intimidating to see a flurry of new content appear as I’m writing. But I’ve had to teach myself not to worry about what stories have already been told or are being told as I write. Our voices will always be unique, so even if the trope or setting is familiar, our work will be something that only we could have created.

Megs:  Well … I can’t say much about anyone’s speed of writing.  I’m lucky if I get something out every other week.   Those are truly beautiful words about uniqueness.  Thank you, Ellie!  What’s your writing process? 

Ellie: Simple - I write three words. Then I panic. Erase two of them. Panic some more. I’m kidding…mostly. In all seriousness, most of my writing wouldn’t exist without @brightpinkpeppercorn. We’re both night owls, and tend to brainstorm ideas long past midnight. Telling a story’s concept to a friend helps me develop the idea without the pressure of formatting or picking the perfect words — especially when that friend has an incredible sense of narrative and how to move a story forward. I really do think writing takes a community sometimes, and I’m so lucky to have one on Tumblr. 

Megs:  I love hearing about the community really coming together.  And speaking of community and coming together … fangirl with me about Choices for a little while.  Have you read all the books, what’s your favorite book, favorite One True Pairing (OTP), etc? 

Ellie:  Well, Megs, don’t tell anyone but … I actually haven’t played three of the biggest series — The Crown and the Flame, Endless Summer, and It Lives Beneath. I really want to, but there’s so much amazing new content each week, how’s a girl supposed to find the time?  

Megs:  I don’t know!  I often whine about not being paid to read all the fanfiction out there.  I’m behind right now on both canon and so much fanfiction ... and that is so weird for me.  Oh, but I saw that you’ve decided to read Veil of Secrets next.  Everyone, check out this post on how you can read or reread it with Ellie, if you want! 

Ellie:  Awh, thanks Megs.  Yeah - everyone should read it with me.  As for a favorite choices book … Saying this in an interview makes it real, doesn’t it?  gets up and starts to pace in front of Megs  Oh gosh, oh gosh … sits back down and takes Megs hands … I’m so sorry Damien, but...it’s Ride or Die. Releases Megs hands and faces the audience.  Listen, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Ride or Die was supposed to be a fluffy little story I’d play for diamonds and laugh at. But the narrative has so much more depth and nuance than I’d expected, and your decisions have real consequences. And did I mention the three incredible Love Interests?

Megs:  You actually didn’t no. 

Ellie:  Oh - shush you!  Laughs.  Well, let me get back to my OTP -  It will always be Damien and Kai from Perfect Match. Damien is a man who loves every part of you — your bad jokes, your terrible cooking — and has loved you for years. Besides, his banter is hysterical, and his ability in bed is literally legendary on Tumblr. I mean, come on. It’s a no brainer.

Megs: I do miss Damien!  Sigh  And, on that note, we are out of time.  Thank you, Ellie, for joining me on today’s show.  It was a pleasure to have you on the show.  

Ellie:  Wait, wait - Megs.  Before you go, I have one thing I have to give you. 

This is an edit of us on today’s show.  Thank you for having me and for helping me through my shyness.  

Megs:  It is gorgeous, Ellie!  Thank you soooooo much!  I love it!

Ellie:  You’re so very welcome. 

Megs and Ellie hug then turn to the audience and wave.  

Megs:  Have a great weekend, everyone!

~~~~~

And now for the tags.  If you want to be added to the tag list for these or removed, please let me know!

@hopefulmoonobject @queen-among-writers, @hopelessromantic1352, @lilyofchoices, @msjpuddleduck, @theroyalweisme, @lady-kato

#Guest Star Choicesarehard #Episode 10 #13 more in the season #I love glasses #She created my icon with Ethan #I wish I actually had that shirt and necklace #And the necklace she is wearing #The Mfackenthal Show #I almost forgot to tag my own show #Oops #If you hear singing on a plane that will be me #Plane karaoke

[afriendtokilltime]

Okay, fine. Let’s talk about parasocial relationships.

The term “parasocial” has been making the rounds as a very very smart sounding thing to say. It not only establishes that you know an unusual and complex word, but also that you are too smart to fall for marketing tactics, and that you are much too cool to show enthusiasm for anything!

So, what’s a parasocial relationship? It’s a one-sided relationship with a celebrity or fictional character--the entire relationship takes place in your head. You’re reading this on tumblr, which means you have lots of parasocial relationships. You’re very parasocially popular! Maybe you even have one with me. (Probably not, I stopped posting for a long time, so we probably don’t parasocially know one another at all.)

I first encountered this term being used as an inherently bad thing, something to avoid, as though the term referred to the negative version of itself. What I saw was not people explaining why it can be harmful, but speaking as if we all know it is (the way you’d use “alcoholism”).

I see people carefully watching themselves to make sure they aren’t engaging in a “parasocial relationship,” or referring to a behavior they don’t like as “borderline parasocial relationship behavior.” But, there is no such thing as “relationship behavior” other than closing the psychological distance between yourself and another person. “Parasocial relationship behavior” is doing this, but it’s one-sided. You get closer, and they do not. That’s it. That’s the only thing. Does that mean building a shrine to Kristen Stewart? Does it mean crying with joy at Hbomberguy’s Mermaids/Donkey Kong stream? Does it mean writing a 100k fanfiction about Hermione Granger, Vampire Slayer? Does it mean buying a David Bowie CD? Does it mean begging the show writers to finally make that queerbaity relationship canon? Does it mean killing the president? You decide! 

Becoming psychologically closer to people and characters is not inherently unhealthy, whether they know who you are or not. How you treat them and respond to that closeness, and how they choose to cultivate closeness, can of course be unhealthy...but so can reciprocal relationships.

What’s weird to me is that we generally seem to be aware that there are bad and good (healthy and unhealthy) relationships. I have a good relationship with @randomshoes because we support each other, are interested in each others’ success, spend quality time together, and communicate well. If I was to stalk her or kill a president for her, or if she was to abuse my trust and take all my money while falsely assuring me she loved me, our relationship would be somewhat less healthy. 

So, what’s so bad about parasocial relationships?

They don’t actually care about you and they are taking your money.

If a marketing team/a celebrity uses these relationships to prey on vulnerable people, that might be an abusive relationship...in the other direction. If I manipulate a friend I know out of her money, I’m the bad guy, right? But if I’m famous, and she’s 16, and I knowingly manipulate her out of her money, then she’s the bad guy, because teenage girls are dumb and they should feel bad for ever liking anything, forming identities, feeling attraction, or basically being uncool and childish in any way.

It is definitely a good idea to remember that transactions are a part of how art is usually consumed, and not to express your affection or deep identification with an art/artist by spending lots of money on tee shirts that depict them. However, even this type of interaction can be encouraged in a healthy, positive way.  Patreon seems to really make people mad, but it’s not the worst system for artists who Live in A Society and don’t happen to have any lembas laying around. “I’ll pretend to love you so you can make me a millionaire” seems kinda gross but “I appreciate that your support helps me continue making the art you love” kinda sorta does not.

Some people go too far and commit heinous crimes because they expect their parasocial affections to be reciprocated.

Those crimes would be heinous even in an already reciprocal relationship. (I  already mentioned this, but if I committed terrorism for my very real girlfriend who knows exactly who I am, that would probably make me no better or worse than Hinkley.)

You’re an isolated loser and need real friends.

Okay. Anybody pouring all their energy into one relationship is probably not doing life correctly, regardless of how parasocial that relationship is. But this is a point on which I simply do not agree. People engage in these behaviors regardless of how wide their friend circle is. If not with celebrities, then with fictional characters, or even historical or political figures (think more “little father” than “senator” though what you do with that Bernie Sanders picture in your room is between you and God). Oh speaking of God, relationships with religious figures might arguably have some similarities and speak to the same human tendency, but there is of course the difference that Justin Bieber doesn’t know who TF you are, but God does.

Uh, sorry, you didn’t address my point. Forming parasocial relationships stops you developing real relationships.

I actually think it encourages reciprocal socialization. I didn’t have many friends growing up. When I met two other kids who were obsessed with Harry Potter, we bonded over that, making up our own characters (next generation type of BS...still better than the book 7 epilogue), and this formed the basis of a friendship that lasted basically my entire pubescence. These parasocial relationships are generally part of a broader interest, and interests and hobbies help you meet people, break the ice, and uhm...form real relationships.

It’s not just interests, though. I was hardcore into dinosaurs as a kid. Literally every child likes dinosaurs, but that didn’t help me form any new friendships. The other reason I think parasocial relationships lead to better real relationships is...practice. You are engaging in social behaviors, whether or not you’re any good at them, whether or not you succeed. This is what’s required to learn any new skill, but it’s generally discouraged.

You don’t just learn about how to socialize, you also learn about yourself. You develop a sense of identity and learn what you like and dislike by associating yourself with favorite characters.

Children and teens often imitate their behaviors, and though that can be a bit annoying (why yes I do have the Spanish Inquisition sketch memorized but thanks for repeating it to make sure I got it), it also helps them figure out what kind of people they want to be (maybe you want to be funny, so you over time learn that what made Monty Python so funny was surprise, surprise and fear, and you develop comedic timing). Knowing what kind of person you want to be is important.

Right, but it’s selfish. You keep calling it “one sided” which it literally is. There’s no checks on your behavior.

Right. I think that’s good, though? I think it’s good for people to sometimes do selfish things. I think it’s good to cultivate parasocial relationships because they are a way to self-soothe, and get your own needs met, without burdening others. We are social creatures, and we absolutely need relationships, but nobody owes you a relationship. Nobody owes you affection or love. Having a way to cultivate that for yourself is actually incredibly valuable.

It’s worth commenting here that I think my strongest parasocial relationships are probably with characters I’ve made up myself. They are “a part of me” in that they are always there in my life, but unlike some writers, I do not base characters on myself or see them as reflecting specific parts of me. I relate to them in the same way I relate to Harry Potter, except that I was the one who made them up initially, and books I write about them can be published and I can make money off them. (On some theoretical plane of existence.) It’s pretty clear that I am the one doing all the work on both sides of this particular parasocial relationship, but it doesn’t feel super different to me than the fact I very intensely relate to certain characters not made up by me. I don’t conceive myself dating one of them, like I don’t have a Dorothy L. Sayers thing going on, but I don’t really think it would be wrong if I did.

What do you mean not being a burden on others? What about toxic fans putting pressure on creators?

Yeah...that’ll be in the “unhealthy relationship” category. But, okay, I guess where I am ending up here is I do think it’s good to recognize parasocial relationships exist and talk about them, because it reminds you that even if a relationship is not reciprocal, you do have responsibilities. If the other person is real, that means they are only human, and even if you have no choice but to stan, you should give them some breathing space. The Shinji Ikari ContraPoints in my head can be my super close friend, but if I expect the real Natalie Wynn to give me any more energy than she already does to her entire audience by making the awesome videos I enjoy so much, I’d be really rude, demanding, and honestly not worthy of her friendship if it was “real.”

Parasocial relationships are relationships which means, just like with reciprocal ones, you have to not be a dick. You have to respect the other person and recognize they are a human being separate from you. Even with characters, Harry Potter can’t be hurt by anything weird and demanding you do, but Rowling could, and so could other HP fans, so respect is still important. If it’s not already clear, I strongly disagree with people who suggest fanfiction is disrespectful, so.

If you understand that your relationship is abstracted, and that you do not deserve any kind of reward for all the energy and love that you pour into it...then enjoy your parasocial relationship, because it is absolutely normative, human, and can bring great joy and meaning into your life. In fact, almost all of what I just said applies to reciprocal relationships, too.

#parasocial relationships #fandom #fanfiction #relationships #I have some more thoughts probably but here are these ones