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ephemeralgalaxies · 1 year

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Shadow and Bone s2 spoilers

also some Six of Crows spoilers, so if you've watched s2 but still don't wanna know anything more yet about the crows than what the show has already given us, beware cause this will involve (probable) future spoilers

(once again, Wylan edition (and a lil jesper. but mostly wylan). but this time it's about the soundtrack that plays during a certain scene in episode 4 iykyk) (most of my meta posts will probably be about him. he's a cool character. and he's me but that's beside the point) (me as in ND with tics, sass, and way to much random fact info than is for his own good but sometimes actually proves very useful but not in the way you'd expect. usually in a quite disturbing and confuzzling way)

last warning for spoilers under the cut bc I am absolutely picking apart as many frames as I can

OK OK YES THIS IS ABOUT THE KISS SCENE BUT SPECIFICALLY THE MUSIC THAT PLAYS BEFORE/DURING. Bear with me here, this is gonna be quite the trainwreck as I am running on adrenaline from sleep deprivation and also like two oreos.

To start off, the song for this scene is The Night We Met composed by Joseph Trapanese (spotify link).

Alright, first, the way this song just blends so nicely from the scene with Pekka Rollins in the cemetery to this one just *chef's kiss* (ofc we get quite the gap in soundtrack between the end of that scene and once this song starts playing, but they still arch together pretty well) In fact, I almost thought they were the same, or at least same motif (it tries to be a major key song with lots of accidentals/minor-falls/glissandos to make it more angsty dramatic). Which, shouldn't mean that much from a distance... but oh boi does it make my mind stir.

That song (labeled by Netflix CC as "dramatic music" lmao) surfaces when Pekka Rollins and his crew are scouring the Black Veil Cemetery in search of his son, Alby Rollins. Ofc, he finds him safe and well just as the police(?) take Rollins under arrest for the murders he's just admitted to (holy shit, Kaz works fast). Like, with the beginning of The Night We Met, these are the same songs in different fonts. Which,,, may not be on purpose but is absolutely brilliant anyways bc of how much Alby and his father mirror Wylan and his father (if that mirror had shattered into a web design and had been left to collect dust and mold for decades).

(summary context just in case we do have some ppl reading this that don't know about Wylan's family and want to: his father is Jan Van Eck, a very wealthy merchant from Ketterdam. Like, Pekka Rollins "rules" the Barrel, but Van Eck (and capitalist co) run the country. But he's a shit person and an even more shit father, disowning Wylan on the basis of him not being able to read and therefore "useless as an heir" so,,, Wylan ran away ofc)

So right before this very emotional scene for Wylan, we get Pekka Rollins, absolute dumpster fire trash of a man, be a good father. aND EVEN HAVING THE MUSIC DO A HARSH FADE FROM WHEN ROLLINS NON LONGER CAN SEE HIS SON TO WYLAN ASKING JESPER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE FREE?

im screaming so much it was perfect

So with that in context, we lead into the scene in Wylan's workshop. It's quiet now, hopeful even. You're already forgetting about abandoned sons and desperate fathers. The world is "full of possibilities." There's no music anymore, just the fizzling and clanging (Wylan, wtf do u have clanging in your workshop???). And the silence stays as Jesper talks about what he'd like to do now that he can roam the Barrel free again. How he'd like to do that... with Wylan.

But Wylan's acting weird. He should be in his element here; laid out, an open book. But he's hiding. No literally, he ducks under the table. And even after he's explained that he's feeling strange bc he was so sure Jesper wouldn't want anything more with him, there's silence. It's only when Jesper starts to back away, when he seems hurt by the idea that Wylan doesn't think Jesper would like him, that the music picks up. And I love this so much because throughout this entire scene, Wylan is interacting with the music. As if he can hear it. Jesper floats along it, fitting everything so perfect within pauses, but Wylan actually feels it. Like each little violin arco pull or harp chord is another thought in his head.

So here: the music starts. Just gentle harp for now (I think that's a harp. Or something of the variety. I'm gonna be so embarrased if it's just like an acoustic guitar or smth). And Jesper backs up, hurt, and Wylan realizes oh shit wait this actually means something to him, I've just hurt him, I have to fix this. I need to clarify. Let him know it's not like I wanted to leave, but "better to cut my losses." (and my god I love Jack Wolfe's little "I... huuuuuh" that he gives like I love it so much it's so awkward and accurate like Wylan has so much he wants to say but can't figure out how to actually get it out right).

And we keep with this pattern, just gentle (almost melancholic) harp chords of one two three four pause... one two three four pause... BUT IT'S A SORT OF ARPEGIO. BC once Jesper says "my reputation isn't entirely unfounded," the camera pans back to Wylan for the next set of notes that reach a little higher, a little different, little more noticeable. And with this frame, we get a nod and a small smile (not reaching his eyes, ofc, Wylan seems to smile as a signal a lot more than in genuine) -- this feels like confirmation to him. He's correct, his assumptions from that night are valid. Someone like Jesper wouldn't want anything more (from someone like him).

Then we stay on Jesper again, how he likes "the gamble of Barrel life" (sobbing for Wylan thinking that Jesper won't like him anymore when he finds out that Wylan isn't "Barrel life" (not really, he thinks. Not like the rest of them). We even get the more overt and dramatic lil "yeah there you go, ofc, I get that" hand motion with another nod and smile before he avoids Jesper's gaze (and the camera) again by walking off to the end of the table. He's put more distance despite being more accessible now; they're not looking across from each other anymore. Jesper has to move to keep engaging.

And he doesn't at first. He lets his eyes follow Wylan, but then drops them again shortly as he thinks on it all. He's losing Wylan here, he knows it. He needs to change this pattern up before Wylan disappears into that quite chord progression entirely. "I may very well have left you first..." Wylan looks up again, smiles and nods, still tinkering away. He's trying to engage the conversation but only as little as possible. He wants this over with, he's got his confirmation. It's all up to Jesper now.

AND OH BOI DOES JESPER TAKE THAT CHANCE.

He starts walking towards him. "But that..."

Wylan stills, looks back at him, shakes his head and looks back down. Like for a moment it was maybe maybe maybe then pushing that hope back down bc that can't be what this is.

"...was before I got to know you." THE "what wtf hold on" ON WYLAN'S FACE IM SCREAMING. THE HARP IS STILL ALONE, HE'S STILL NOT TRUSTING IT. HE'S LISTENING BUT WON'T DARE ENGAGE YET. HE NEEDS MORE.

"I can't make you any promises." VIOLIN!!!!

"Or predict what might happen between us" VIOLINNNN!!!

"But I can tell you that..." quieter violin as Jesper hesitates

Wylan realizing oh shit oh shit oh shit right along with that muddled lower violin arco note mixed with the harp chord. It's not clean like the others. The harp is catching up to the violin.

"I'd like to find out." Another weird chord (forgive me im tired and can't tell if it's an accidental or just a deviation entirely into another key but it sounds like a different key for a sec) with the harp and a beat of silence. Then the violin follows it...

AND WYLAN SMIRKS. LIKE I SWEAR TO GOD THIS WHOLE POST STARTED BC WHEN I FIRST WATCHED THIS SCENE ALL I COULD THINK OF WAS HOW IT LOOKED LIKE WYLAN REACTS TO THAT VIOLIN NOTE AFTER JESPER SAYS HE WANTS TO TRY SOMETHING MORE WITH HIM. He hides his face from Jesper, and it hits him with the arco note. The guy he likes actually likes him back. This incredible, cool, gunslinger that has his back and doesn't care or judge him for his quirks also actually likes him. more than friendship, more than sex, there's another shared thing here. Wylan can be more. But the harp here slows down, a ritardando only it actually feels the effects of bc the violin has already done its job. Jesper is worried now, he's said what he said and all he can do is hand control over to Wylan.

and then ofc my favorite "hey bro pls respond" like after that arco note that seems to be just for Wylan, like it's his own lil secret realization music, Jesper sits in silence (literally, there's only ambient background, no more actual notes) and when Wylan realizes he hasn't actually responded, that Jesper also needs confirmation, dear god he's gonna give it to him.

But the music doesn't start up again once Wylan begins to walk (run. Like he's sprinting into this kiss) to Jesper, it starts again when Jesper realizes what Wylan's doing. That he's responding. And he's responding very positively.

Now the violin is confident, steady, forceful. There's no more of that careful sliding on the bow, this is borderline staccato. And it's joining the harp. THEY'RE PLAYING TOGETHER NOW!!! THEY'VE CAUGHT UP!!!!!!! Like they've literally caught up, the two characters and instruments melting together in a new melody of the same key but with energy and passion and giddy joy. IT'S LIKE FIREWORKS, LIKE A GUNSHOT.

Then the roaring ocean, violin switching from a long-short combo to straight 16th notes fast and ready and dear god I love it. There's still that whisper of the more hesitant violin in the background, but the faster one is taking control of the piece now. It knows what it wants, has a clear direction. And saints, if that doesn't perfectly mirror Wylan in this scene. This music piece is a beautiful conversation not just between the two characters (and respective separate instruments) but also with that haunting past Wylan carries with his confidence. He knows his worth, knows he's useful. He just can't think that others would recognize this as well. A violin is not a gentle instrument (I'm sorry, but there's a reason I chose the cello). It's higher pitches are harsher, sharper. It can be beautiful, yes, but it can never have that subtlety of a cello or viola (at least lower strings of a viola). The violin is the 1st chair, the main melody carrier, the gem of the orchestra. Sure you need the others, but everyone knows the violin. Wylan knows his worth to a sharp, unsubtle point. But he hangs back like a 2nd violin position -- letting someone else take the reigns until he finally has the space (the safety) of exploding (hehe) into sound. He trusts Jesper now. Wylan's gonna play with the force of his bombs now.

At least until Jesper learns about his history. Which, I think might be another reason why we still have that 2nd violin position sound even at the end. He's encouraged, but he knows there's something he's still gotta hide. And it won't be pretty when it all spills out.

TLDR: the music nerd obsesses over the fictional music nerd way more than anyone asked for (which is at all. no one asked for this. why do I keep doing music-based metas. because I love them and can't sleep until I do them that's why). Wylan is a violin apparently but he can't decide whether he's playing along with the cellos/violas or if he's taking the reigns and filling that conductor's right-hand man spot (is it the right side? hold on. wait shit no it's the conductor's left side. whatever. that 1st chair violin thing that's really special but idc bc Im a cellist and my director switches our section arrangements all the time to play with sound). Also apparently Jesper is a harp which does kinda make sense considering it's a pizzicato sound and Jesper is very ticky ticky like most of the soundtrack songs he's in the scenes of have some kind of ticking. so,,,,,,,

#shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone s2 spoilers #sab s2 spoilers #s&b s2 spoilers #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #jesper fahey #wesper #wylan x jesper #jesper x wylan #six of crows #soc #music meta #soundtrack #ost #I will never stop obsessing over soundtracks in media and how they and the film crew understand so much more about the show than producers #sometimes #most of the time #look they don't have much to work with. their whole job is to take abstract and make ppl feel smth specific with it #I am sad about the lack of crow songs actually listed on the spotify album for s1 and s2 #like i know there are some really cool dRaMatiC MuSic moments with the crows #but give those moments credit aaaaaaah #I would listen to that music when pekka searches for alby so many times. it's so good and such a perfect example of character foils #like with what pekka means to kaz and what alby means to wylan and those foils on their ends and THEN the foils of kaz and wylan just #my god im gonna write another post #not now though. it's 3am #mutuals i am so sorry

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demonsfate · 4 months

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Me when I see an unhinged reddit post from one of *those* Kaz stans: Jin get behind me!!!!! Seriously though. Sometimes I think we all play/read/watch Tekken content differently bc what on earth are they on? Lmao. Not saying they are all like that, but still.

LOL. I deleted those posts 'cos I felt like I was ranting a lil too much, maybe getting too worked up. But the thing is, I wouldn't even care about these takes. Because everyone has a different take, and sometimes there are people with bad ones. But the problem is, the "Kazuya did nothing wrong and is being villainized only because he opposes Heihachi and Jin" is a POPULAR take. Not only do I see it more than I should, but the fact that I go to the comments and see a(n un)healthy amount of people agreeing with the take is just... so wild. I really feel like sometimes I am transported to an alternate reality where Tekken is totally different.

I really just thought we'd... stop getting these takes after the demo. Because yeah, while it didn't help Jin's character that much, but... Kazuya is literally threatening genocide, boasting about how for "as long as he lives, people will die" and also tried to kill innocent people in the middle of the street. I thought that would make people realize Kazuya is indeed a full blown villain who has done a lot wrong. But no... strangely it has not. It's just so bewildering to me.

Again, it's okay to dislike Jin. I understand it. He got done dirty in Tek6, and they're not doing the greatest job at writing him. But I just can't stand it when people put him down for things Kazuya is doing, or when Kazuya is arguably worse than Tek6 Jin. You can't hate Jin for [doing war crimes] and feeling remorse, but then acting like Kazuya is better despite [doing more war crimes] with zero remorse. It's just a bizarre mindset.

Also, to the point where they're reaching and actually hating Jin for crashing Kazuya's helicopter and destroying buildings?? They're actually saying Jin is killing hundreds and that proves he isn't a good person. Like are they being serious? In both Avengers and Superman (Man of Steel) - scenes like this happen. Where the superpowered heroes are fighting the superpowered villains and buildings are just wrecked left and right, cars are tossed around like they're softballs. But nobody in those movies ever bring up the casualties caused by the heroes, how many lives were lost because of the heroes. Nobody calls Captain America a careless villain. You know why? Because these are FICTIONAL ACTION SERIES. Yes, realistically, in real life, destroying big buildings and blowing up things would kill hundreds. But real life is boring. When you're watching an action game or movie, you want to see lots of action - action includes destruction. You don't wanna see the characters carefully fight in the streets, that slows the action down. That's why heroes can get away with destroying stuff, because it's entertaining to watch. The people in the building don't actually exist, they're not even seen, so we don't have to actually acknowledge them. And I get joking about this - but there are fans that are legit villainizing Jin for this. Like people are talking about this rather than Kazuya literally saying he's gonna wipe out countries lmao.

I guess I just get really tired of the hate Jin receives. Whilst I understand Tek6 will cause people to dislike Jin - but it's unfair to hate him but then act like Kazuya is good despite doing the same actions as Jin (if not worse actions). It's unfair when they hate Jin for being "emo" and saying he's annoying because... he hates the devil gene??? Go figure. And then the weird homophobic hate against him he gets sometimes? (Like there are a weird amount of ppl that calls him slurs) It really just feels like a lot of ppl just pick any reason to hate this character. Jin tries to do good, fans hate him for wanting to kill Kaz and not accepting the devil gene (lolwhut) Jin does bad like in Tek6, suddenly he's the worst character who's irredeemable but the other bad guys are totally redeemable (or not even bad at al!)

#✏️ - ᴛʜ�� ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)#✏️ - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ? // (inbox)

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nubinublado · 5 months

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So weird vent but the whole drama with James Somerton is making me think about this more and more and I just gotta write it out at this point.

So, he deletes comments, i know this because he deleted one of mine. It was on the shipping video responding to the end or it when he started taking about RPF. I believe he made a point about how companies often have their idols queerbait cause #straight women are more comfy with male idols having sex with other men because it "doesn't count" so the idol maintains virginity (NOTE this is me paraphrasing by memory i was literally going rewatch or read the transcript but it is completely gone now holy shit).

But ya, because i'm a huge bts fan i wanted to give my thoughts on what he said about kpop and those problematic games on variety shows would make idols play that were designed to make them accidentally kiss. My comment was basically (again paraphrased from memory)

"Ya it's sucks that idols have to do queerbait-ey things," note the I meant talking about the aforementioned games not anything that would come down to cultural differences like the standard of how affectionate men can be with each other, "especially considering there have to be closeted idols who are queer (but we shouldn't be speculating ppl's sexualites) who are scared to come out because it would jeopardize their careers (not to mention they live in a very conservative country) but then all of a sudden they have to almost kiss their friends/groupmates"

In my comment I wanted to emphasize a fuck the industry cause in general I don't like the whole accusing real ppl of queerbaiting cause even in seemingly cut and dry scenarios like what I've described that person could still be queer and in an even shittier position than their straight counterparts who have to do that crap.

But I digress. Cause I swear the comment wasn't inflammatory at all I didn't name any idols or groups. Just a typical opinion that was left open to discussion. And it confused me on why he deleted it. Now I never tried to get an answer b/c I am of the belief that getting blocked or having a comment deleted is a hint and you should take it. But I'd be lying if i said that whenever that James comes up I don't think "what about that comment bothered him so much?"

Maybe I made a massive typo and accidentally said that we should speculate idols sexualities and I accidently called for a campaign of outing celebrities in a youtube comment section

Maybe I was too unnuanced with the whole no speculation point. Like, if an artist puts queer imagery in their work in a "if you get it you get it" kind of way towards queer fans. Is it problematic if queer fans pick up on the clues, does coming out only count if straight ppl can understand it etc etc. But still I feel like he could have just replied instead of deleting the whole thing. Again wasn't an aggressive comment very much open to discussion.

But he just deleted it. I wasn't mad just confused, still confused. Now that he's been figuratively exposed at every single angle I'm even more confused.

Like ya, it is tempting to say "oh I just wasn't misogynistic enough how dare I suggest that the industry is the real big bad" or "he thinks assuming sexuality is ok because then he can't brush off criticism by just assuming it's coming from a (straight) woman"

But, I dunno I have more integrity than that. Maybe it is a bad take. Still open to discussion it over 3 years later lol.

I've gone back and fourth between whether I should post this or not. But seeing that he's now deleted the video despite neither Hbomber or Todd in the shadow mentioning it their videos has sort of pushed me to archive its existence in some way even if it's just for a petty reason lolol.

#james somerton #vent #thought it'd just go away huh buddy #little did you know cut off an autistic person from talking about their special interest!!!

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wordsbymae · 2 years

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Here’s a warning, I’m going to send in two separate asks. The one I’m writing now about is clement and y/n. And another one is going to be about the one-shot you made about Freddy in another au. You’re going to suck it up buttercup, because I love me some perverted feral country boys 🤠. With southern accents that extra thick when they are drunk or angry, respect their mothers and ain’t scarred to get down and dirty; whether it be in the mud or fun times. Also I’m going to need you to elaborate more on uniform wearing Leroy, sounds interesting 🤔. But I definitely can see him dress up after the introduction of y/n’s lingerie outfits. What’s funny is, Originally what I had planned when I sent in my last ask was to give a little detail about Leroy’s parents for you to better understanding why he is the way he is, but eventually turned in a whole rant :D. What Clement is is what Joseph was supposed to be originally until the Addison of Mr.B. I wanted to add earlier that Clement thought that y/n was a stuck up bitch, but many women don’t like to be referred to that at all (respectfully so 👍), so I didn’t added it for your sake. Funny we keep finding each other like this 🙃. But yes! She’s what he hates most. Rich ppl (respectfully so). He had to deal with their kind for all his life and why would she be any different? He never thought she could truly love someone like him when she was like herself. So he felt that heart ache, so he thought “fuck it! She hates, I can’t already make her hate me anymore. There’s no point to suck in’ up to her” in his mind why try to stop her from hating him when he can make her hate him even more, he thought their relationship was beyond repairable. So to make himself feel better he thought making it worse would be beneficial for him. He had created this version of her in his head, but as he spend more time with her the more she continue to dismantle that version he had on her. She wasn’t stuck up, more like shy and skittish. She was prissy and up tight but not to the exaggeration he concluded in his head. As he torn down his initial prejudices and beliefs and look at her with more of open and judgment free perspective she wasn’t so bad. And around time he would learn about her hopes and dreams, would find way for her achieve them while under his restrictions. The incorporation of her becoming a nurse/assistant in the medical field was a good idea, thank you 😊. She would probably not go to a medical institution but pick lessons and part time as a assistant for a women on medical facility (planned parenthood). She’s surrounded with women and she’s close by his work, it’s a win win for everyone. He would strut in and proclaim that he’s here to see his wife, he would always make sure everyone knows (not like they don’t know already) who she is to him before saying her name “I’m here to pick up my wife, y/n”. This would help/foreshadow when he starts his heists and would come home all bloody covered and needed medical assistance (I’ll go more in detail about that later 😉). You’re are just like me, lol. I love angst but I’m a baby for happy endings 🥲. He come to learn she’s a inexperienced and innocent woman. She was taught strict rules about performing her wife duties and acting like a proper wife, but Clement constantly have her go past those normal restrictions. But she’s conflicted with the rule that she always has to go by what her husband says. When she was about to walk by him,but followed his eyes to her ass and begins to raise his hand to swat at it. She quickly covers her ass but in a annoyance he demanded that she stop but she tells him slapping her butt was “inappropriate”. She was tried of being treated like a waitress in a diner at a truck stop. She expected for him to get angry and spank her, but all he did was tilt his head back as his laughter shakes the entire house. “Inappropriate? Girl if you don’t stop and c’mere. This is just how I show affection” “affection?” “Is it so hard to believe? you have a great ass and I wanna smack it!”. There’s more but I ran out of space 😂

Sorry that this took me all week! Uni is kicking me in the arse and I never got a chance to answer.

YES! CLEMENT! Dirty, dirty, yucky man. I think I have made it very clear I love, love, love dirty, perverted country boys, it is truly my guilty pleasure.

okay, okay so I think Leroy was in the army or something, maybe only for a very short period of time, under 5 years, maybe longer before he got discharged for fighting a higher-up. he kept the uniform and shoved it in the back of the closet. He never really wanted to be in the army but his dad was, and his dad actually did quite well (maybe Vietnam vet or something? depending on the timeline, if 1960's timeline, ww2 or something) either way he really didn't care about it. until bunny comes along. he can tell she's a flighty thing and gets really submissive when people of authority talk to her. one-day bunny was putting his clothes away when he was at work and she comes across his old uniform. She gets a bit curious, although it takes her a few days to work up the courage to ask him about it. He just growls out he doesn't care for it and to forget about it. But maybe the town is having a memorial day or his friends from the army have some sort of formal get-together and somehow, some way he ends up having to drag it out to wear it and bunny can't take her eyes off him. I still think she's trying to stand up for herself and has yet to really aspected her place by his side, so she refuses to show have much it is making her attracted to him. But he notices. Anyway, they get back home, and something just takes over him. Maybe she gave a snarky remark or rolled her eyes when he ordered her to get ready for bed or something, either way, he goes into commander mode. He's still dressed in his uniform and he's standing over the top of her, she's backed into the wall, ordering her to get on her knees or bend over and she has to call him sir. he gets real degrading too, calling her all these nasty names and mocking her, calling her a whore and she's just a dumb slut, that if it wasn't for him she would let anyone in between her legs, she's so needy and such a dumb bunny, how she needs his cock and how all she's good for is being a cum hole. from then on I think he would enjoy "pulling rank", even threatening corporal punishment for anything she does wrong. bunny knows that if he starts making her call him sir, she's done something really bad. I nearly missed what you said about the lingerie! oh yes! I think he would really enjoy bunny wearing really soft-looking garments while he's wearing something that is related to hard work and violence.

I think my favourite ocs say so much about me, Joseph, clement, Leroy, Eli and freddy are just these real hands-on sorta men. And while Eli and freddy are a lot nicer about it, they are all very forward with their affection and attraction. I really enjoy fictional men that are very selfish and delusional, they think they are entitled to anything because they are hard-working, manly men and they deserve some loving. And if they weren't toxic and were real I would be first in line.

I am so glad you went on a rant! I love the idea of clement. I bet he did see ready as stuck up and frigid, just cause he wants to fuck her in the back of his pickup truck and never let any other man ever touch her, that doesn't mean he has to like her. So yeah a part of him wanting her is to corrupt her, to degrade her. I think there's a bit of resentment. Like you said I think he would have seen her and thought she's pretty and started to imagine what life would look like with her, but he is cruelly reminded men like him don't get women like her, and he starts to think it's her fault, he starts to hate how high above she is. so he begins to resent her but lusts for her at the same time, he wanted to drag her kicking and screaming down to his level.

He would have thought that they were no reason to try and be nice and romantic once married, he forced her to marry him so yeah there's no reason to try, only for it to be thrown back in his face so he is on the offensive first, saying her cooking is bland, saying that her dresses don't fit her well, that her makeup makes her look pale/ashy, all these nasty things to try and protect his heart if he doesn't give it to her she can't reject it. And she tries so hard!! she was raised to be a good wife so she's adding more spices, sowing her own dresses and practising her makeup. I am an angsty bitch so I like to think this reader is a bit like Alwyn's reader in that she always wanted true love so she is trying very very hard to make him like her, but maybe one day he gets a bit too cruel

(ignore if you want! this thought just came to me but it might be a bit too much).

angst and cruel things said below

maybe one day they went out to the town to get some stuff, and the reader goes to pick up some meat from the butcher. There's a new butcher and he's the same age as the reader. They haven't met yet and he doesn't know she's married. Anyway, he gets a bit flirty and starts complimenting the reader, calling her pretty and flattering her. the reader has never really had this sort of attention so she is very flustered and is just standing there blushing. Anyway clement comes in to see what the reader is up to and the butcher doesn't realise he's her husband so he keeps going, even though the reader has stopped blushing and is now looking a bit fearful. Clement gets real jealous and once in the car he just goes off, going on about how foolish she is, that the butcher only wants to get up her skirts and that he doesn't actually like her, how no one does, that she should be grateful that clement wanted her when no one else did, that the butcher was lying when he called her pretty and that clement is the only one who could barely tolerate looking at her. reader just bursts into tears and spends days not looking at clement or talking to him. cause this storyline is very much in a non-feminism era, I think she would try even more to look pretty, but she gets really flustered and worried about how she looks. Clement realises a bit late that he was too cruel and one night when reader is sitting in front of him in an old dress she hand stitched, fixing the holes and hair she tried to curl for three hours before giving up, looking at her plate and waiting for him to criticize her cooking, he just clears his thoart and very hesitantly says she looks pretty. I don't think he would ever really apologise and I think what he said would stay with reader for a very long time, to the point where maybe one day after clement says he loves her for the first time, she asks if he loves her even when he can barely tolerate looking at her. I think then he would just break inside and from then out is a much more loving and affectionate person, at least for men back then and never ever lets a day go by without telling her how beautiful she is.

haha well, that was a rollercoaster. ignore ^^^ if you want, I've just been in my angst era.

Yes, yes, yes!!!! The more he spends time with her, the more he realises the idea he had of her is completely wrong. yes is a bit more put together than him, but she doesn't look down on him and he begins to hope that maybe she can love him.

yeah!!! I was def thinking of a sort of midwife or women's health assistant. YES! he chose that place cause its right across the road and he can stop in for lunch together and he walks her over and walks her back to his car. He would look so out of place waiting for her inside the clinic, big beefy man covered with oil and grim.

I think the reader would be so excited to show off her new skills on him and explains every single step she does and the theory behind it and he tries very very hard not to snap at her to hurry up cause the bullet won't get out by itself, he never snaps at her cause he loves how excited and knowledgeable she is. Please please tell me more!!!

angst with a happy ending???? love it

oh yeah! she would get told that some things are big big no-nos, I'm sure there was a period of time it was frowned upon to show off your naked body even to her spouse, so let's say she was told that when she would sex it would be with undergarments on and she would be on her back every time. but she also got told to obey her husband. so he's trying to get her nightgown off and she is shocked he's trying to do so, and she explains as such, he just looks at her like she is crazy before asking isn't it her job to do what he says. she very hesitates but allows him to take it off.

OOH! she would be so shocked about ass-slaping, she thought that that only happens when her husband is punishing her, so she gets upset when he does it the first time thinking she did something wrong. And yes she can see his eyes looking at her ass and then his hand is raising so she covers it quickly, and yes he gets so frustrated! I think she would be so scared to voice her opinion, she grew up in a household where it was instilled her husband could punish her ( i am very firm that none of my ocs commits dv, sexual slapping yes, but never dv, I think mad king slapped once, but that is probs the last time) for anything she does wrong, even just voicing her opioion. so she is scared to tell him she wants to be treated softer and less like an object. but yes!!!

“Inappropriate? Girl if you don’t stop and c’mere. This is just how I show affection” “affection?” “Is it so hard to believe? you have a great ass and I wanna smack it!”.

I love this!!!! she would be so confused about how this would be affection but she starts to like it, and I think it would be funny if she starts to pout when he walks past her without slapping her ass, maybe she gets a new dress and shows it off to him while he is sitting down and she spins around a few times before ending up facing away from him and he is just sitting there while she stands with her butt in his face (not really) and she stands for a second or two before pouting and looking at him over her shoulder and asking why he hasn't "done the thing yet"

"the thing?"

"yes, the thing. You know.....with your hand?" and she starts to blush

he would just laugh and slap her ass hard before getting up and hugging her from behind.

ahhhhhh i am in love with this.

Please tell me more !!! love it! thank you!!!

lots of love mae xx

#yandere oc #yandere x reader #yandere #oc #yandere imagines #yandere drabble #yandere prompts #female reader #mae answers #autumn :)#oc fugitive

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barfiriri · 2 years

Text

There is a dark side of every country and culture . The dark side of Desi culture can be a never ending essay but today I'd like to talk about the safety of women in rickshaws and cabs . Amongst the huge amounts of women who have once or maybe more than once have been tried to kidnap or try to be taken somehwere forcefully , unfortunately I stand there too . One day my parents were unable to pick me up from college and I had to take a rickshaw home . I explained my address and talked about the fare with the rickshaw Wala and came to a mutual agreement . Upon sitting in the rickshaw I noticed his mirrors were turned towards me and I got uncomfortable . I moved more towards the door and out of his fair . Khair , he missed the turn towards my house and kept going towards a more empty part of the city . I told him this wasn't the way and he said that this was a short cut . I was alarmed and as someone with a specific phobia of men (undiagnosed) , I started to feel a panic attack coming . I called my mom and in Urdu told her that the driver was taking me somewhere I didn't know , she stayed on call and told me to tell her whether he took the other turn . He didn't take the turn . He moved up a hill , a place known to not have many ppl around . My mom told me to give him the phone so I put it on speaker and he talked to my mom after which he lied that he had understood the address differently . Staying on call with my mom , I reached home safely . Even while writing this I can feel my heart beat increase and the sheer terror I felt at that moment is running through my veins . Our society is one filled with heinous criminals that have never been caught . It is a shameful thing. Delhi ho ya karachi , women have always been put on the edge of their seats and fear for their lives every minute . Kindly share your live locations with your family , let the drivers know you're talking to someone and carry sharp objects with you before boarding a cab/ rickshaw .

#desi dark academia #desi aesthetic #south asian #desi tag #desi tumblr #desiblr #karachi #delhi news #pakistan #stop harassing people #female

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ruvatia · 3 years

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Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

#voltron writings #shiro x reader #takashi shirogane x reader #keith x reader #keith kogane x reader #lance x reader #lance mcclain x reader #hunk x reader #hunk garett x reader #pidge x reader #katie holt x reader #for context this was requested around june 2020 #its a year late and thata my fault wjdjan

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jackiebrackettt · 3 years

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trying to figure out the differences between Jackie and c!Tubbo bc like… they ARE very different but they're similar enough it's kind of hard to pick out. wrt how i write them both at least, i think the main things i would say is:

they've both been through a lot and sort of cover that with a cheeriness of sorts but jackie's is more likely to be genuine often whereas tubbo's is sort of wistful/world-weary/false. tubbo is a character who's very wrapped up in depression and even when he's genuinely happy/content/casual that tiredness can still shine through a bit. the only pov we have of jackie is right after chap 6 where obvi he's going to be really upset but i feel like that isn't as much the case for him. i will say that when he tells ran about his dad there's a distance to it similar to how tubbo speaks, but he's had years to distance himself from that whereas tubbo has barely had a year for most of his events. both of them are able to snap into seriousness when needed though and both of them carry the anxiety of having sudden responsibility they're not at all prepared to handle given to them. and also they're both kinda paranoid. they're fairly similar in these regards i'd say.

but! jackie is more likely to accept and seek help (with ran) whereas after a certain point i think tubbo stopped seeking help - and was more likely to accept collaboration rather than help which is a bit different in terms of emotional connection. i think jackie's also more likely to emotionally reach out than tubbo. when tubbo talks about the things he's been through there's a certain element of distance he tries to uphold with like a false-cheery "this doesn't affect me anymore" attitude. jackie's more likely to talk directly about at least some of his emotions. i think this also means jackie is more likely to let himself cry whereas tubbo is more the bottle it up until he reachwa a boiling point type person. (jackie didn't let himself cry in chap 7 bc he had already been crying beforehand for a bit)

i think the way they experience guilt is very different as well and that impacts their characters. like… tubbo carries around the guilt of (in his eyes) running his country into the ground and hurting the ppl around him because of that. but he accepts that role for himself very matter-of-factly and urges ranboo to do better than him. this has made him into a person who creates nukes and will threaten them, but actively doesn't want to use them and mentions how much he doesn't want to hurt people.

I think jackie is honestly a bit more ruthless than that and more willing to hurt/kill his enemies but we'll see more about that later on in the story ig. he's the general of an army so i don't think he's given up on killing ppl entirely, but we do know that he's feeling some guilt over his victims although it's very… we know in chap 7 he feels it more heavily but after he talks to maia and snail he's like… sulking almost. idk whether that's because it took time to sink in or whether it was just the way he presents it but i think that's very different to the way tubbo would go about expressing his guilt. ran describes jackie as sadistic and i don't really think that's necessarily true but i do think there's something to it that doesn't really fit with tubbo's personality.

i also think they're both fairly logical but tubbo is more likely to do this as a defensive mechanism whereas jackie's is learnt and he's more likely to give in to emotion over logic (letting ran stay alive even though he knew about the assassination attempts for eg). i think tubbo feels his emotions in a very muted but overwhelming way whereas jackie just sort of lives in his as they come.

this is it for now. there's so much to talk about even on a more casual scale (like jackie's jokes are more likely to be light-hearted whereas tubbo's more likely to be a little mean/aggressive in his) but this is already pretty long and i have a test soon so. that's all folks! basically i think it's easy to see similarities between them but there's a HUGE difference in how they actually act because fundamentally they're different characters.

#thumbs up #for the followers #long post

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

Why was Lorenzo such a jealous bitch nd why does this fandom treat him like he's a good person😑

okay so i know that this is a rethorical question but i've actually thought about this a lot so i'll take my crack at answering this - WHY is lorenzo such a jealous bitch?

the only thing he's said about why he hates magnus - that i remember of, at least - is the line "he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. his fame is not based on talent, it's all nepotism"

now, anyone who knows anything at all about magnus knows that not a single fucking word of this is true. magnus was born poor in a recently colonized country under a lot of oppression, there was no damn silver spoon in his mouth, and after that he was thoroughly abused by his demon father. his fame is also absolutely based on talent - he invented portals, for fuck's sake! and the "nepotism" comment barely makes sense. i assume he means it's just that magnus' power is all due to the fact that his father is demon royalty, which makes magnus more powerful than most warlocks

so, that explains what lorenzo is jealous of - magnus' power and prestige among warlocks (such as having been HWoB for decades) - but not what the fuck lorenzo's deal is (i mean, we've met plenty of other warlocks in the show, many of which weren't really fans of magnus, but no one other than lorenzo has this idea that magnus doesn't deserve his fame), or why magnus (because while like, yes, magnus is very powerful, i assume he's not the only son of a prince of hell, considering asmodeus is not the only prince of hell and these guys get on the loose, like, weekly. and lorenzo is obviously OBSESSED with him, he deliberately went out of his way and abused his power as HWoB several times specifically to antagonize him, and also, you know, TRIED TO KILL HIM)

lorenzo talks about magnus almost as if magnus took something from him. it's not just that magnus is powerful and that he supposedly doesn't deserve it, lorenzo obviously feels as if antagonizing magnus is some sort of vengeance. i know plenty of jealous people, but going as far as forbidding anyone other than himself from giving magnus a magic transfusion, specifically saying that if it went wrong he wouldn't help, and then refusing to take back the magic when he KNEW perfectly well that would kill him, is to me very obviously a thought out plan TO kill magnus. lorenzo had been hoping from the start that magnus' body would reject his magic and the transfusion would kill him - why else would he specifically say, the second he agreed to the transfusion, that if it went wrong magnus would be on his own?

and it's not like lorenzo even gains anything from that, other than killing magnus. and humiliating him, which lorenzo has said explicitly was something he wanted to do (i believe the term he used was "breaking his spirit", but potato potatoh). if it was about magnus' position of power, he already had that - lorenzo literally already had the HWoB position. if it was about magnus' magic, he had already lost it. lorenzo had absolutely NOTHING to gain from magnus, so his personal vendetta against him doesn't even make sense from JUST a jealousy standpoint. he had already "won" over magnus. the only explanation is that he wanted some kind of revenge

but revenge from what? well, we know that magnus and lorenzo don't like each other, but magnus never really TOOK anything from lorenzo. considering how he wouldn't miss an opportunity to talk about how much he hated him, i think lorenzo would have brought it up if that had been the case. and magnus is just not the kind of person to pull the rug from under other people's feet - look no further than the whole show for evidence of that. he literally puts the others above himself at all times (which is unhealthy but that's another story and something i've talked about plenty of times already)

so why does lorenzo feel so much resentment towards magnus? why does he act as if magnus' power took something that was rightfully his?

i think lorenzo feels that he was entitled to be the most powerful, to have the most prestige, to be above magnus, and he resented magnus because that was simply not true

why?

let's go back to the only thing we know about lorenzo's backstory - the baby painting. yes, it's a huge meme, but think about that for a second. lorenzo has a huge ass painting of himself as a baby that he displays proudly in his home and that's, like, his #1 stop at the house tour. the baby painting. "needless to say, being born in spain during the siglo de oro was quite the experience". is the first thing he said

let's make this abundantly clear: this line makes it canon that lorenzo is a colonizer. the siglo de oro ("golden century" in spanish) started (roughly) in 1492, year of the """""discovery""""" of the americas, and ended (roughly) in 1659, the year when spain signed a treaty and lost a bunch of their territories to france (link to source). altho the term is usually used to refer to the boom of the arts in spain, it's obvious, just from these historical landmarks, that the siglo de oro is about colonization. it's about the fact that at the time spain was at its peak colonial power, and could afford to exploit what later became third world countries, and put part of that money (in fact, the literal gold they were stealing from latin american countries) into arts and other luxuries (because in the renaissance portraits were a luxury item and a symbol of status - link to source) for the ultra rich that benefited from colonization

so, lorenzo is not only a colonizer, but he's a part of the elite. the fact that his family could afford to have a painting of him as a BABY (portraits were almost exclusively adult portraits, and usually of the whole family, unless you were even richer than the rich. and even then individual portraits were usually to celebrate important achievements such as a marriage or acquisition of state - a baby being born doesn't qualify, especially because at the time most babies died not long after birth anyway), and a HUGE painting on top of that, shows that they were just. loaded in an incomprehensible way. im talking jeff bezos level of riches. they were the elite of the biggest colonial empire of their century. so, ironically, lorenzo was born with a silver spoon in his mouth - everything that he had, he was born having, and he specifically had because it was being stolen due to a dramatically violent process of genocide and slavery, that he believed to be entitled to simply because he was born a spaniard/white. that is all canon, because in the shverse mundane history is the same as in real life. EVERYONE who was born in the colonial elites was taught that they were entitled to shit from other countries, that they were superior not only to other ppls but also to their own people - let's not forget that this was way before the advent of republics, those were monarchies. the ppl who were part of the elite straight up believed they were superior to others by virtue of god

"woah woah woah but lorenzo is played by javier muñoz who's brown" yeah, which is unfortunate, but he is still canonically a colonizer. first off, because it's not like they wanted someone to be lorenzo and were looking for brown people - they were looking for someone javier could play because he's a bigshot broadway actor who was also a fan of the show, and then they picked lorenzo. probably because the sh showrunners don't fucking know the difference between a latino and a spaniard. or maybe they do, but they thought, "eh, close enough". either way, lorenzo is a spaniard, and he was born a colonizer - ergo, he is white, regardless of what race his actor is, regardless of even what he looks like. there are plenty of white spaniards with similar skin tones to lorenzo, because what today is spain used to be a territory occupied by middle eastern ppl, and there was mixing. what makes whiteness is not skin tone, it's context, and the context of being a literal colonizer directly benefitting of the oppression of black and brown people is as white as it gets

so, to recap: lorenzo was born a white colonizer, and he was RAISED believing that everything he had, he was entitled to. he was entitled to it by virtue of god, because he was born a part of the rich elite in the richest colonial power in the world, and he had access to everything he could possibly want. and he wasn't just entitled to riches and power - which he still has, look at his fucking mansion, dude - but specifically to superiority to his peers. especially black and brown people, the source of his riches, the people who owe him the wealth he takes from them

and then he joins the warlock world, and not only is he not royalty (because presumably he is the son of a regular demon, not too high up in the hierarchy) but some brown guy is. and this guy is in a position of power over him (high warlock) and he is better than him (at magic, specifically, but also at everything including being a human being, but lorenzo doesn't care about that). and lorenzo is fucking livid, because he believes himself to be entitled to be the best, entitled to be treated as a superior, entitled to admiration and to servitude, especially from people like magnus (let's not forget that the philippines - colonized by spain during the siglo de oro - are right next to indonesia [link]). instead, magnus is, politically speaking, his superior

and it's not like it even means much because the high warlock position is implied to be kind of like, the mayor, and it's not like magnus ever abused his power (unlike some people - and sidenote, i think this backstory is also why lorenzo was so comfortable using his power to antagonize magnus: because he was raised in a context where political power was pretty much boundless and politics and the personal feelings of the ruler were not separated). so in practice its really just that if lorenzo had a problem, he could go to magnus, and if magnus made a decision that referred to all warlocks, lorenzo was supposed to follow it. it's nowhere near like, actual subservience. but it's way too much for someone who was raised to be entitled to the level that lorenzo was

so that's why he has this feeling that magnus took something from him - because in his head, everything magnus has, lorenzo should be entitled to. because in his head, any and all power rightfully belongs to him, and if magnus has it, then it has been stolen. and that might not even be conscious of his part or whatever, altho i doubt lorenzo doesn't think in explicitly racist terms at least in private, but that had been ingrained into his head for centuries on end. if it's still ingrained into the heads of white spaniards born TODAY, imagine one who was actually born at the fucking height of racist exploitation

so. yeah. that's why lorenzo is such a jealous bitch. that's why he hates magnus so much - because he feels that magnus having anything at all lorenzo doesn't is theft, and ironically, he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but believes that he earnt what he has whereas magnus didn't. it's not just jealousy, it's a profound feeling of racist vendetta, and i'm sure the sh writers didn't mean it that way, they were just writing a big villain to bring malec together, but death of the author, baby! and this explanation actually makes sense without having to change anything in canon, so, i feel very comfortable saying that's why lorenzo behaves the way he does

THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THE BOOKS

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #anti lorenzo rey #meta

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messymonologues · 2 years

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 & 𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐃𝐇𝐃 ✿❁✾❀

—

the basics (name, age, etc.):

-> maggie; 19; she/her; february pisces. raised in the american south but currently attending college in new jersey; pursuing a degree in diplomacy + international relations, on track for a 5 yr masters :)

-> i am christian and therefore have a very strong tie to my religion/ faith. i will not shame anyone for having different beliefs and have no desire to pressure anybody with my own religious beliefs in any way; however, you may see these beliefs reflected in some of the posts i make on this blog. my dedication to my faith has made a huge impact on how i have handled having adhd throughout my life, and it has helped me to personally cope over the years in much more healthy ways than if i had not had the stability & security of these core beliefs. that being said, read on for more facts about me & adhd!

some infodumping w/ more fun facts about me:

-> i’m a freshman in college and mentioned my major above, but i’m also hoping to go for a minor in east asian studies. i’m american so english is 1st but in total i speak 4 languages: english, fluent spanish, conversationally fluent korean, and basic japanese; i’m planning to learn mandarin chinese soon too :)

-> my mbti type is enfp (“campaigner”) !!

-> my favorite color is mint green & i love winter ❄️

-> unlike a lot of adhd-ers, i actually suck at art lol; however i write fiction on the side every now & then.

-> i love to travel and have visited 5 countries so far!

-> i don’t plan on putting any pics of myself on here but for curiosity purposes, i’m pale, short, + brunette.

-> that’s enough info dumping for now hehe but feel free to send more questions to my inbox <3 <3 <3

*all about my experience with adhd: (below the cut)*

my official adhd diagnosis:

-> i was diagnosed by an adhd specialist at around 6 years old with combined-type adhd (meaning i showed a combination of having both inattentive and hyperactive types present on my chart), and quite honestly i was told that my adhd levels were highly active and more elevated than a good amount of others with the same diagnosis. so basically, my adhd is fairly severe without being totally crippling. (in case you’re wondering how i treat my adhd: i tried various treatment options throughout elementary school and found that taking a prescription medication for it was the solution that helped me function the most; the dosage of the pill has fluctuated as needed over the years but i still take it every day as it does exactly what it should do inside my brain and makes my life a bit easier. however, i want to put in a disclaimer here to make it known that medication is not the only answer + doesn’t work for everyone the same way.) also, my adhd is genetic on my dad’s side!!

my most prominent symptoms & how my adhd typically presents itself:

-> my most common visible symptom is tics (aka fidgeting in ways that mimic a psych phenomenon called stimming, which describes physical motions that seem random but inexplicably provide release of stress from symptoms for neurodivergent ppl: i.e cracking knuckles, picking at nails or skin, playing with hair, etc.) but the rest of them are internal.

-> my other most common symptoms include: executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, rsd (rejection-sensitive dysphoria), decision paralysis, time blindness, object impermanence (“out of sight out of mind” except about pretty much everything not just material things), hyperfixation as well as hyperactivity, distractability, sensory sensitivity issues (specifically i just have an aversion to sudden loud noises like fireworks), and there’s no medical term for it but lastly, burnout/fatigue both physically and mentally.

nobody asked for this but anyways,, here’s some stuff that has helped me cope over the years:

-> reading books was my own personal escape mechanism as a kid. i’d get lost in a book whenever i felt like i was being too much, and then get so absorbed in reading that i’d tune out the world. it was very soothing for my hyperactivity and helped me establish a healthy outlet for my creative energy.

-> i’m not sure if all adhd-ers have this issue, but for me, caffeine has absolutely no effect on me. i can drink a monster/ red bull at bedtime and still get a full night of sleep; also, it doesn’t help me wake up in the mornings either. i cope with this by substituting the caffeine cravings with tea- all kinds- and tbh, tea has a whole lot of benefits that coffee does not! :)

-> you may have noticed that i didn’t include “impulsivity” as one of my symptoms above. this is because i learned at a young age how to curb my impulsiveness through playing a sport (which is one of the top recommendations for adhd-ers actually!), and i played volleyball for many many years. sports helped me control my impulsivity by giving me a place to exert all my quick bursts of energy and also taught me various kinds of self-discipline. it helps!!

-> adhd often (but not always) comes with the challenge of having an addictive personality due to the urge to access dopamine through means that aren’t always healthy, i.e substance abuse or repetitive bad habits. what worked well for me was to combat this dilemma by putting more time into hobbies and habits that make me feel in control of my energy whenever i find myself becoming addicted to or obsessed with a bad habit. this manifested over the years in the forms of: releasing pent-up energy by joining club sports, picking up a new book series to distract myself from the urge to cope with adhd in less healthy ways, writing as much as i want to & about whatever i want to in order to shift my focus from addictive coping habits to creative habits, and surrounding myself with friends whom i feel safe sharing my thoughts and emotions with (although they don’t always understand, they still lend me an ear & it really does help). of course, practicing mindfulness has also decreased how easily i get tangled up in a bad or addictive habit, since reflecting on those habits takes away the desire to obsess over them in a destructive manner.

-> it took me a very long time to realize that my intense emotions were not my fault and that what i was feeling was sometimes all due to rsd- i didn’t figure out how to handle them until late into my high school years. now that i know that my emotions are much deeper than those of the ppl around me, i’m learning to cope in much healthier ways instead of self-destructing/ shaming myself for my reactions. these coping skills include: distracting myself from situations where my emotion or reaction is caused only by rsd and not by an external factor by focusing my energy in a creative way that soothes the pain; using poetry or writing letters to myself to better process the emotions i am feeling and reflect on them in an observational- not judgmental- way; allowing myself to feel whatever i feel in the moment without letting myself be ashamed of the emotions or viewing them negatively; and (if my emotions are caused by another person) having an open-minded and honest conversation with whoever i feel has caused these emotions, where i gently express to them how i perceived whatever happened and inform them of the consequential emotions i reacted towards them with- this includes both good emotions and negative ones, as i am often overwhelmed by either of them. i still struggle with regulating them, so check out my navigation tag for rsd on my homepage for more!!

-> feel free to use any of these skills if you find that they help you overcome your own adhd roadblocks!

— back to navi

#🖇 about me #adhd and me #life with adhd #actually adhd #adhd awareness #adult adhd #adhd tumblr #adhd blog #adhd #learn about me #about the admin #adhder #adhd tag #living with adhd

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miioouu · 4 years

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Hii! May I ask hcs with shinsou todoroki bakugou and kaminari with a korean s/o and she is able to speak lots of languages, please? I know korean, english, japanese and portuguese, for example! Thank you so much

Any other polyglot here wanna rant with me? It's so difficult to switch from one language to the other, but so easy at the same time. Like don't you sometimes wonder how easily you can understand ppl who speak one of the language you know. Like idk its so weird how your brain automatically changes from one language to another, it always fascinated me. And yet it's always super difficult. Like for example i was reading a french book before writing that, and it's like I forgot basic english, i kept on adding unnecessary letters. Ok lol im just rambling at that point sorry!! Thank you for requesting!! ❤️💜❤️

Bakugo Katsuki 🧡

- Ok idk about y'all, but i think Bakugo would know multiple languages. His parents are fashion designers, they travel the world, it's only normal he picked up some languages.

- Anyway, he really likes that you're korean! He loves to learn about your country and heritage, your culture.

-And korean is probably a language he doesn't know, neither Portuguese, so he loves to listen to you talk.

-Something about the way the words roll out of your mouth is really hot and he can't help but get lost in the way you speak.

-And just like he loves to hear you talk, whenever he speaks a diffrent language you don't know, you always get surprise.

- Japanese is obviously a common language between you two, and so is english. So you easily switch between the two when you're having a conversation, and everyone is always so surprised by how easy it is for you.

Kaminari Denki 💛

-Ok it's canon that Denki is really good in literary subjects so I'm gonna assume that english is a part of it lol.

- When he met you, he was amazed by your languages skills.

- He really enjoyes listen to you ramble on and on in your languages even if he doesn't understand a word.

- He always asks you to translate things, songs, package wrappings, movies....

-And also when you two speak together you most likely use english, because it's easier to meme and joke around in his opinion.

-You have an inside joke, one time you started an idion in japanese but you completed it in english which made the two of you laugh until you cried.

-He always send you letters in class in the different languages you speak, even though his handwriting is sloppy it always makes you smile.

Shinsou Hitoshi 💜

-Shinsou is the only one of the bunch who doesn't speak another language.

-He's good in english class, but he's not comfortable speaking it out loud yet.

-He also enjoys to listen to you speak, and he tries to impersonate you, but you always end up laughing.

- He really wants to learn another language, and always asks you for help.

-He always end up giving up, he finds it really difficult.

-But then you keep on pestering him about helping him in becoming at least more comfortable in english.

- Also, he loves to hear about your heritage and how you ended it up learning all these languages.

-He keeps on making fun of you when you accidentally use a word in a diffrent language, but in all honesty he finds it cute.

#bakugou katsuki x reader #kaminari denki x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #shinso hitoshi x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #kaminari x reader #shinsou x reader #shinso x reader #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha kaminari #bnha shinsou #request

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enderspawn · 3 years

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🎼 (I can’t find the correct emoji lol) exile arc tommy?

Oh boy! (opens up breakdown playlist) /hj

Montreal – Penelope Scott

Sleep with a Baseball Bat – Cosmic Johnny

Brother – Gerard Way

breakdown under cut, tw for suicidal ideation on the first song esp

1. Montreal – heehee hoohoo suicidal/depression thoughts baby!!

I mean in short this is tommy saying he wont Survive exile. The intro of the song lists when the singer would be home from college/school and that “another 90 day summers gonna take [their] fucking life” which is rlly just. Tommy not gonna live THAT long in exile.

“And I would rather die And let me make it clear It's nobody's fault But I think we all know That I won't make it to Montreal”

So the thing here is that its “nobody’s fault” bc on one hand it is that he doesn’t blame tubbo but worse he doesn’t blame DREAM. Its just meant to happen, its not bc of anybody, yknow?

“And I would rather die I'll jump before I'll fall And I'm having lots of fun But I won't make it Montreal”

Mans tried to jump to his death before he “fell” whether bc of dream or an accident, hes makin the active CHOICE to end it rather than just waiting. Even w the fun he’s having w dream, he’s miserable and he knows he wont make it to see lmanberg again

“You like to talk about the future As if it's real And when you tell me that you love me I can almost feel it”

Dream keeps promising him stuff for the future. Maybe he can visit to see the tree, maybe he can get another visit, maybe he wont be alone. But tommy doesn’t care, its all fake to him (which like, it is so good for him but fjkdlsjf)

“It's not that it's a bad plan No, the plan fucking slapped I was so excited you don't know how bad I wanted all of it The coffee shop, the weather, the apartment But I don't want anything anymore I don't know, I guess I just got bored”

Okay so. Tommy kept trying to get shit together to leave, right? He wanted to go back so bad and have this domestic life w his friends but in the end he just got so downtrodden that after his shit got blown up he was so ready to just GIVE UP.

“And I don't wanna die I don't wanna get left behind But it's better half than none I hope to god you have some fun”

He doesn’t want to be in this situation, he still CARES abt the lmanberg crew but in the end hes been told that they’re happy WIHTOUT him. He’s not angry at them, not anymore, he just wants them to be happy bc he isn’t.

2. Sleep with a Baseball Bat – tommy and dream relationship baby!!

“And every time you wake up Thinking this could be the day Well something, something just”

Every day in exile he had no real plans. He just had to exist out there alone and hope someone else came. This IS the day he can do…. Something. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t have a goal.

“And when your love is an anxiety attack Don’t settle for that, don’t settle for that And when you wake and find the claw marks in your back Sleep with a baseball bat, sleep with a baseball bat”

Hes been manipulated into thinkin dream is his friend, that dream “loves” him but it makes him miserable! Hes paranoid and stressed and falling apart!! Boy!!! Fjdsklfj

“Siena says you’re getting used But something’s broken in your head And you can’t run away when you need to”

The other ppl who visited him, like ranboo, KNEW something was happening and that he was in a bad place but tommy had been manipulated by dream so much that he couldn’t process it. No, dream couldn’t be bad, dream was his friend, right? He couldn’t leave exile, dream would be upset. Its all what DREAM wants, not tommy.

“Hey, space cadet Are you still floating round the rock That you spent so much of your life trying to get away from? And does it at least look different from up there?”

OKAY SO ONE. SPACE CADET? THAT’S CLARA BABY!! TWO: he spent ALL his time on this server fucking fighting dream, trying to “get away from” him. But now hes stuck “floating around” with him as his “friend”. The last line feels sarcastic and bitter but like. FUCK it hits, yknow??

“It might take a couple tries till you believe it But love is real, you’ll figure it out, you’ll live to see it But you still have to take a couple of falls And you can’t make an omelet without breaking your balls So batter up Is your bed made? Is your helmet on?”

HAPPY ENDING POG!! HE STARTS HEALING!!!! HE STARTS REALIZING DREAM WASN’T HIS FRIEND!!! He still “falls” and relapses into wanting dream w him but hes so much better!!! Also,,,,, “is your helmet on” w the turtle shell helmet (eyes emoji)

3. Brother – IF TECHNO AND TOMMY NOT BROTHERS WHY THIS SON—(gunshot rings out)

Okay so on a serious note this song is abt addiction and while I don’t want to take away from that Serious Topic, it Does relate but w tommy dealing w his ptsd of dream

“And brother, if you have the chance to pick me up And can I sleep on your couch To the pound of the ache and pain? Oh, in my head 'Cause I'm awake all night long To the drums of the city rain”

Hhrhnrng staying at technos place to hide from dream and get better a lil JFKDLSJK. Also “the drums of the city rain” is referenced a LOT in this song but like. It keeps him up so,,,,,, dream JFKDLSJF. Mans barely ever slept in exile so it WORKS okay jfkdlsjf

“The lights we chase The nights we steal The things that we take to make us feel this (To the drums of the city rain)”

This is him and techno livin together!! Like in the first chorus you could see lights we chase being tommy finding techno’s place, then later it’s the lights of lmanberg as they sneak in. the nights they steal is both just time spent together and also straight up the times they stole shit JFKDSLJ. “the things that we take to make us feel” is the gapples tommy always eats so that he can feel safe (also, bc in the og song this is PROBABLY abt drugs and potions are drugs in universe so. Arguably getting a potion effect from the apple means it is Also Drugs? Fjdkslfj)

“I can't go back I don't think I will I won't sleep tonight as long as I still Hear the drums of the city rain”

Go back to logstedshire or lmanberg you ask?? The answer is yes. Both. He feels like he doesn’t belong in lmanberg and logstedshire is too traumatizing for him to return at this point. As long as he “hears the drums of the city rain”, or is thinking of dream, he Cant Sleep:tm:

“Does anyone have the guts to shut me up? 'Cause I believe that every night There's a chance we can walk away So hold on tight Because I won't wait too long In the drums of the beating rain”

Okay so hear me out but. This is just tommy and dream. “I believe that every night theres a chance we can walk away” is tommy hoping desperately for dream to let him go home, to walk away from logstedshire. He never will be permitted, not really, but theres a chance that tommy clings to. He wont “wait too long” while out in exile and stuck w dream bc hes desperate and miserable (also fun fact these analysis is basically me just pmv’ing shit in my head and rambling vaguely abt it but like. Listen,,,, flashback verse jfkdsljf) ALSO. The line “does anyone have the guts to shut me up” in relation to exile!tommy is just VERY important to me. Mans was so quiet and afraid to speak up when in exile.

“'Cause the nights don't last And we leave alone Will you drive me back? Can you take me home? (To the drums of the city rain)”

Following up that last paragraph, this is still in flashback. The days end and dream leaves again, making tommy alone. He asks if he can go back, if he can see home and lmanberg and everyone. But echoing the “to the drums of the city rain” after home CAN imply that “home” has become logstedshire WITH DREAM even tho it keeps him up and aaAAAAAHHHH

I swear this ends up okay and techno + tommy focused fjkdsljf

“Faces I don't know I am tired in the glow”

He feels isolated from everyone during his exile and lashes out at those who visit, to the point he feels like they’re all more or less strangers and “faces he doesn’t know”. Being tired in the glow is, imo, him over the lava.

“Of the freezing club Keep me breathing Don't make the lights come back Can you take me home? We all need this When we leave alone”

Hhhngg okay so tommy breakdown time! Hes in techno’s house (the freezing club) and is just pleading for techno to help. Don’t let “the lights come back” (lava again maybe? He doesn’t want to be Like This?) and just wants to feel like hes at home because hes just left exile and hes Messed Up Over It

“Remember when you and I would make things up? So many nights, just take me down To the place we can hear them play I miss that sound 'Cause now we don't sing so loud To the drums of the city rain”

OKAY SO THEY MAY NOT BE CANON FAMILY BUT WILBUR REMEMBERS SPARRING W TECHNO AS A KID AND PHIL IS HIS CLOSE FRIEND SO THEY STILL KNEW EACH OTHER AS KIDS SO SHUSH FJSDKL. Tommy just wants things to go back to how they were, before everything. When things were easy and they were kids just having fun. He misses it. Before exile, before lmanberg, before dream. But it doesn’t matter, because they’re stuck in this now. With his brother dead and his closest friend being the man who killed his best friend and helped blow up his country. Again, the drums of the city rain is dream. Because of his influence, its all different.

Hhhngngngn this is too long so I wont go into the last outro bc you can interpret it a LOT of ways, esp depending on how you want to Pace this song w the exile arc. But like. The analysis is THERE if you really wanna push it/animatic it babeyyy

#dream smp #mcyt #tommyinnit #exile arc #HHHHNG IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE JFKLDSJ #I PROMISED MYSELF ID FINISH THIS ASK GAME UP AND WOULDNT GO IN DEPTH AS MUCH THEN DID EXACTLY THAT W THREE SONGS JFKDSL #tommy #answered #song ask game #listen the last song is a LIL bit of a stretch but its my playlist i get to put in the not depressing song fjdkls #Anonymous

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