#i understand that not a lot of people share my sense of humor

[macro-microcosm]

I got polls...but at what cost?

#oi! me gifs've shrunk! #funniest consequence to an update this side embedded code #to me anyway #i understand that not a lot of people share my sense of humor #but I care not #I calmed down btw ignore my train post from earlier aha <3 #tumblr #lolwut.jpg

[sanakiras]

BLOOM FOR ME

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 18.1k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song

NOTE — sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though there’s very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.

he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam he’s got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.

his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.

if he’s being honest, he’d already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.

and now, those feelings have only increased.

his eyes linger on your figure. it’s such a fucking shame he doesn’t remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips — he could actually cry just imagining it.

then he feels he’s getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.

god, he’s never like this. why is it irking him so much?

it’s chan — the youngest of the group — who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.

when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments they’re working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheol’s professors didn’t bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of his—

—and the whole fucking time, you feel mingyu’s gaze burning on you.

it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?

then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him you’re aware of him watching you and you’re watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.

he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them you’ve got to go to your lecture.

cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. “you’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. “yeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.”

“i can tell, ‘cause aren’t you supposed to be starting football practice right now?”

that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.

the following day, as he’s working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.

your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.

it’s usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you — it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesn’t know where to start.

tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.

which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.

by the time he arrives — later than planned due to a study session running behind — everyone is already seated, including you. he’d hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but you’re seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.

well, shit.

the worst thing is that you don’t seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, you’re either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.

what he doesn’t notice is that you do look at him — he’d be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.

he’s so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.

it’s an hour before midnight when you decide to get going — you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing you’re leaving, after which they say they don’t like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them you’ll be fine like always.

“i can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.”

mingyu’s sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.

it’s not that he’s never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.

it’s mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. they’ve had quite a few drinks, after all, and you’re pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk he’s on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.

both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.

it’s early october, your favorite time of year. you’re fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.

mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.

“i’m sorry for being rude the other day,” you speak up, breaking the silence, “i have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.”

oh.

he didn’t expect this from you, but it’s a pleasant surprise, even if you’re not looking him in the eye at all.

so he shrugs. “it’s okay. looking back, i didn’t really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.”

“i assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.”

“i didn’t even think about that, to be honest. i just don’t do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.”

you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when he’s clearly looking at your face. “you called me your friend again.”

the comment doesn’t sit right with him. “do you mind me asking why that bothers you?”

“it bothers me ‘cause it’s not the truth.”

god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.

“do you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?”

mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. “i never said i disliked you, mingyu. i’m just picky about who i consider close to me and i don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesn’t make us friends.”

“not even a little bit?”

you chuckle again. he wonders what he’d have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. “name one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics don’t count.”

he eagerly starts his sentence. “well, you like to... y’know... hang out with us.”

“i said no basics.”

“okay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you don’t exactly share much.”

“you know who i do share things with? my friends.” you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.

“you’re evil.”

“thank you.”

he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact he’s been waiting to get. “i wanna be friends.”

“congratulations.”

“oh, c’mon. work with me here.”

“i would if it wasn’t so much fun to see you acting like this.”

mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. “let’s get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?”

“oh, you mean like a conversation?”

he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “i’ll go first. what’s a hobby of yours?”

“such depth,” you snicker, “i like to ice skate.”

“really? that’s cool.” he smiles, tilting his head. “okay. you gotta ask me a question now.”

“which of your friends is closest to you?”

yeah, he should’ve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldn’t go for small talk.

he ponders over the question before giving his answer. “minghao.”

“hm. interesting.” you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.

“do you think you’ll ever be close with me?”

“no.”

“why?”

“not your turn.” you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. “how many girls have you slept with?”

“four. why do you think we won’t ever be close friends?”

“because we’re too different. you can’t stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“i’m… i don’t know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe that’s selfish, but… yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you don’t.” he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. “i’m sorry for pestering you about it, i’ll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.”

he wants to increase the distance between you, but you don’t let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but it’s gone before he can even look at it.

physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. “i’m gonna say it one more time and that’s it — i don’t dislike you. maybe… i don’t know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i won’t stop you.”

“okay. anything i should know?”

you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. “i’m not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. i’m more of a listener than a talker. i’m also a bit of a control freak so i’m not big on surprises. that’s all you’re getting for now.”

he thinks over your words and smiles. “i can work with that.”

not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.

mingyu clearly feels it’s mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.

once you’ve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. “thanks for taking me home.”

“you’re welcome. see you tomorrow.” he says. normally he’d give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling you’re not very fond of physical contact with people who aren’t close to you, so he lets that go for now.

“bye.” the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.

and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.

it makes you scoff to yourself. you’ll give it to him — he’s sparked your interest.

“hey. mingyu.”

he’s roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project he’s working on. “what?”

“what’s going on? you’re awfully distracted.”

“it’s—nothing.” he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.

“has anyone ever told you you’re a shitty liar?”

“many times, actually.”

“good. ‘cause you are.”

jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. he’s also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows — despite the guy being older than him — because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, it’s a talent.

“so who’s the girl?” jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.

mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. “friend of a friend.”

“what does she do?”

“law.”

“she nice?”

“to a specific group of people, yeah.”

“oh, she’s a little mean to you, huh?”

“not mean. just distant. very distant.”

“that’s new.”

“what is?”

“you going for girls like that. it’s refreshing.”

“yeah, well—she doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“what do you mean?”

“i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me at all. she’s wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.”

“how do you know?”

mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “she’s very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me… i don’t know. we’ve been in the same friend group for a year, and it’s like i’m the only one she doesn’t feel comfortable with. bothers me.”

“you’ve known her for a whole year and it’s only bothering you now?” jeonghan senses there’s more going on. “what led up to this? got into an argument?”

the younger of the two scoffs. “not at all. the contrary, actually.”

jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. “what, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?”

“not entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.” mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. “and we had sex.”

a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghan’s mouth. “you slept together? when?”

“soonyoung’s party.”

“that was weeks ago. haven’t you talked about it? at all?” he asks, clearly invested in the story now.

“i brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesn’t think we’ll ever be good friends ‘cause we’re too different, and it’s fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was… open to friendship though.”

“ah, you like her.”

“yeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.”

“no, i mean, you like her. you don’t just want to be her friend.”

mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. “i don’t have a crush.”

“don’t fool yourself. you’d never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you — you’re worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all.”

“i can’t be in love with someone i hardly know.”

“debatable. you still have a crush on her.”

“fine. whatever. say that were the case — purely hypothetical of course — what should i do to get her attention?”

jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like he’s up to no good. “you gotta get a little selfish.”

“could you be a little less vague for once in your life?”

“create a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.” he shrugs, as if that answers it. “something like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.”

“well, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i don’t think i have all that many options.”

right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. she’s giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.

“speaking of crushes, she’s got one on you.” jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.

it doesn’t interest mingyu all that much. “yeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didn’t have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i should’ve, ‘cause she acts like that every time i see her around.”

jeonghan can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. “are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

“probably not, since i have no idea what you’re getting at.”

he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. “you could reject her — subtly.”

mingyu frowns at that. “how?”

and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before he’s about to tell him his plan. “you’ve heard of fake dating before, right?”

the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didn’t feel like attending this morning.

someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.

you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didn’t ask for. “what do you want?”

“you have got to stop saying that when you see me.”

“no, i like it this way.”

“of course you do.” mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. “you look busy.”

“gee. it’s almost as if i am busy.”

“what’re you working on?”

“undoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.”

he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.

“are you always this much on edge?”

“mhm. i hope you are too — otherwise you’re taking up too much space.”

the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. “you’re cute.”

“not exactly the word i would use.”

“really?” he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, “i think it suits you.”

you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. “what do you want? seriously.”

he shifts in his seat, clearly happy you’re finally going along with him here. “you know the senior gala on thursday, right?”

“yeah. i’m not attending.”

“okay. here’s the thing — i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who won’t stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.”

“gosh, poor you.”

“i’m serious. it sucks.”

“what does this have to do with you bothering me?”

“well, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, she’d back off.” he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. “meaning i need a plus-one who’s willing to play my girlfriend for the night.”

“so?”

“so, i’d like you to be my plus-one.” he grins.

“why?”

“why not?”

“you’re saying you wanna pretend to be dating?” you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. “no one’s gonna believe that.”

“yeah, they will. it’s perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesn’t know you — c’mon, consider it.”

he’s surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. “out of all the girls you’ve got in your contacts, you’re asking me?”

“you’ve made it clear we’re only acquaintances — i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.”

you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. “i don’t know what you’re expecting, but you’d get nothing out of a friendship with me.”

he keeps his eyes on yours. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell you’re considering it. “when does it start?”

“ten.”

“dress code?”

“go for a cocktail dress.”

twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said you’d give him a chance, after all. “fine.”

“great!” he nearly jumps in excitement. “text me when you’re ready and i’ll come and pick you up.”

“yeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.”

and once you’ve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.

mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. it’s not like him to feel nervous — so why the hell is he this time?

you open the door hastily. “hey. you can come on in, i’m all ready except for the pair of earrings i can’t seem to find.”

he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad you’ve got your back faced to him, because he’s subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.

the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and he’s stunned in his place before you notice he still hasn’t closed the door behind him. “mingyu. the door.”

“uh—yeah. sorry.” he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as he’s told before his eyes wander around your room. “don’t you have a roommate?”

“i used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.”

“must get quiet after a while.”

“i like it that way.”

your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures you’re someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.

once you’ve found your earrings, you’re putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit he’s wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.

you’re glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.

as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses he’s been holding behind his back. “these are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

the gesture makes your eyes soften. “thank you. oh, they smell nice.”

mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time he’s seen you give one that is genuine.

the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. “i’m your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?”

which has you chortling for a second. “that’s not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.”

before he can change the position of his hand, you’re already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.

“that’s better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, it’s not the right time and place for it anyways.”

“noted.”

once you’ve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing you’d consumed some alcohol before coming.

and your companion takes notice of this from the way you’re suddenly squeezing his hand, which you’re undoubtedly not doing on purpose.

“you okay?”

“sure, i’m fine.” you faintly smile back at him.

he’s honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead — that is until one of your friends comes up to you.

“am i imagining things—”

“we’re fake dating, josh.” you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. “his idea, not mine.”

joshua appears all kinds of confused. “okay. um… just—why?”

mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.

but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldn’t miss out on.

what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.

“there’s this classmate of mine who won’t get off my back about dating, so i figured she’d quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.”

in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. “right.”

“i’m gonna go get us a drink. be right back.” mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.

you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. “can’t believe i never considered you two before.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you and him. you’d be a nice match.”

“what, me and mingyu? we’d be a disaster.”

“why?”

“we’re too different, josh. and don’t even try to give me that opposites attract crap.”

his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you don’t. “i think you’d be surprised. that’s all.”

whatever the fuck that means.

your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshua’s words, you just can’t help but think about what he said, especially when mingyu’s arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.

the worst thing is that you don’t even mind him touching you. you’ve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.

and that’s not the only thing you’re becoming increasingly aware of.

mingyu’s popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.

being as observant as you are, you’ve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.

so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.

you’re not actually jealous. no, that’d be ridiculous. you can’t be jealous of others wanting something you don’t even have in the first place.

chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.

though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.

after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. “hey, i’m just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?”

mingyu’s lashes flutter as he nods. “would you mind if i came with?”

you gesture that you’re okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.

the air feels much colder now that you’ve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.

mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. he’s practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and you’re going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.

as you’re standing outside together, you notice he’s loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. he’s certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.

his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. “it’s nice to have you here. i wasn’t all that excited about going at first.”

“yeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.”

he snickers. “you hear that often?”

“every now and then. don’t sound so surprised.”

“it doesn’t surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.”

“doesn’t everyone?”

“you’re a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?”

“maybe.” you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.

mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. “do you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoung’s party?”

he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. “no. neither do you, as you’ve told me.”

“no, i don’t,” he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldn’t, “but i kinda wish i did.”

“why?”

when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.

“i...” he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.

before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. he’s clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.

whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.

“i’m gonna go take him home, couldn’t find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.” he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.

so mingyu nods. “okay. i’ll go check.”

they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. “you go ahead. i’ll meet you back inside in a few.”

he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.

it’s then that some girl you’ve never seen before walks up to you. “hey. you’re mingyu’s new girlfriend, right?”

the crease between your brows becomes apparent. “have we met?”

“no, no. i’m in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

she’s clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. you’re not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.

but either she’s too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesn’t want to. “was kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.”

and since she’s probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, ‘s just... you seem a little distant. just different. he’s never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.”

you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business that’s not their own. “gee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?”

the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.

worst thing is that she’s probably right.

you and mingyu just don’t work.

and you don’t even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?

the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you don’t feel like staying.

when you return to him, he’s so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. “i’m gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.”

even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. “why? is everything okay?”

“i’m fine.”

“i’ll take you back.”

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t.” you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. “i’m sorry.”

mingyu is still processing your words as you’re leaving him behind.

then when you’re walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.

goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.

she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her it’s fine, annoyance rising.

mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.

the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.

god, you’re never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.

you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. you’re rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.

of course it’s him.

“any luck getting it out?” he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.

“why am i here?”

“what do you mean?”

you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that he’s acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. “why did you invite me here? out of everyone you could’ve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?”

“are you angry at me?”

“answer the question.”

“i just…” he trails off, trying to think of the right words. “i just figured it was a way to become friends.”

you’re actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word ‘friend’ to you one more time. “oh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?”

“i don’t know, because… because it occurred to me — y’know, after the party, after what we did — that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.”

“oh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.”

“no, i didn’t. i just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and i—”

what the hell is he even supposed to say? he’s not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends — but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.

you’re quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. “so that’s what this is about.”

“well—what?”

“if you wanted to fuck, you should’ve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.”

“i—” he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. “that’s not why i—”

“does it matter?” you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that you’ve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.

it doesn’t help that you’re watching him like a hawk.

“not to repeat myself all the time, but i—i normally don’t do this with friends. i don’t want you to have the wrong idea of me.” he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.

so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. “well, i guess you’re in luck. ‘cause we’re not friends.”

he’s about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. it’s fast and intense and hungry.

whatever he expected, it wasn’t this — but he can’t find it in him to not give in.

his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.

mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.

there’s a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.

you’re rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.

holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him — he’s fucking huge.

“gyu,” you break the kiss, “can i suck you off?”

the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. “wanna taste you instead. please?”

with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. please let me.”

“okay. just make it quick.”

in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.

because he’s diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing you’ve ever heard.

your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyu’s annoyance, because he wants to hear you.

his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight that’s so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.

another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.

“you can pull on my hair. i like that.” he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.

it doesn’t take him long before he’s got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but you’re nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.

“gyu—fuck, ‘s too much, too much—” you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.

you swear you might lose it when you see he’s actually pouting over the fact that you’re pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.

“but, baby, i wanna make you cum.”

the pet name turns you on even more. “you can. i just want you inside of me, right now.”

he’s rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.

mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.

“god—want me to fuck you?”

pulling your dress over your head, you’re left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. “are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“fine. bend over the sink, then.”

the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body — because you completely forgot about the mirror that’s now right in front of you.

so you’re able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.

his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles — but none of that matters now that he’s got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.

all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. “you’re so tight, jesus—”

you huff. “not my fault you’re so big.”

it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. “you’re all bite, even when i’m trying to fuck you.”

“don’t act like you don’t like it.”

he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. “never said i didn’t.”

god, he’s so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.

his girth feels so good inside you — and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.

and he’s certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels you’re pushing your hips back against his. he’s convinced this is what heaven feels like.

“gyu, a little harder, please.” you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.

“how hard d’you want it?”

“as hard as you want. i can take it.”

he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.

his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way he’s digging into your skin. he’s sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.

you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.

it’s like he’s trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. “oh my god—gyu—”

“i love it when you call me that,” he breathes out, so into it that he’s confessing everything on his mind, “you don’t know how much i’ve thought about this — been fantasizing about this for ages.”

you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. “then you better make it worth my while.”

“such a brat.” he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.

mingyu’s stamina is admirable — but he’s a simple man. you’re so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows he’s getting close to his release already.

you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.

he’s doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.

“are you gonna cum, gyu?”

you have to refrain from biting your lip when he’s stuttering out a response. “n—no, not yet—”

“i want you to.”

“jesus, don’t say that—”

oh, he’s cute. he’s responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.

“wanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. i’ll let you do anything you want.” you tease — your words being the complete truth, because if he’d want to fuck you again, you’d sure as shit let him.

his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. “anything?”

“mhm,” you nod, “anything.”

his fantasies about you, the way you’re looking at him, the things you’re saying, the way you suddenly clench around him — it’s all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.

it’s enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax you’ve been aching for.

he’s still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. “so much for being friends, huh?”

he then smiles as well. “are we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?”

“you’re quite literally inside me.”

“knowing you, that doesn’t really have to change anything.”

“oh, is that so?” you retort at his cheekiness. “sure. you’ve made it to friend level 1. congrats.”

“great. level 2 is next, then.”

“god, forget i said anything.”

“no going back now. you’re stuck with me.”

something’s very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.

because you’ve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.

and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.

the sex is great. there’s something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.

and yet he’s come to the conclusion that this isn’t what he wants.

he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.

it bothers him. but he’s scared to just put all his feelings on a platter — because he doesn’t want to lose whatever he has with you.

something he’s also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.

so when he’s typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he can’t bring himself to ignore it.

20:23: you look cute when you’re focused

the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since you’ve clearly got your eyes on him.

so he texts back.

20:24: i always look cute ;)

tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate you’re typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. “bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“fuckin’—” it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. “christ, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. “bad conscience?”

“no. you’re just scary.”

“thank you.” you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. “you busy?”

“just going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.”

“wanna come over to my dorm?”

“fourth time this week. what’s gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.”

“hilarious. really.” you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. “what can i say? it’s a great stress reliever.”

“i know. give me a sec and i’ll pack my things.”

as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables — which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.

“mingyu.”

“hm?”

“the chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?”

he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. “yeah, i have a class with her. can’t really remember her name though. why?”

“she likes you.”

“oh.” he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. “i didn’t notice.”

“sure.” you chuckle sarcastically.

that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.

“what?”

“you’re jealous.”

“excuse me?” you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.

“it’s actually kinda hot.”

“oh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.”

“and yet you are.”

“either you shut your ass up or i’ll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.”

he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.

as soon as you’ve entered your dorm room, he’s got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame — you’re certainly not complaining.

once he’s done with you and you’re completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.

you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. “is everything okay? you look stressed.”

“i’m fine.”

he figures you either don’t want to open up or you simply don’t feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know he’s there for you. “okay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.”

you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.

mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.

so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. “i should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i don’t have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.”

he’s buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. “i’ve got two exams next week. they’re extremely important, i have to pass them, i just… i can’t focus for some reason.”

when he turns around, you’re not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. “anything in particular that’s bothering you?”

“i don’t know. it’s just…” you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, “i guess i haven’t been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i don’t actually have a reason for it.”

“maybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.”

“gyu—” you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.

“why don’t we just try it? if you don’t feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.”

“do you even have the time to help me?”

he’s smiling, able to tell you’re thinking about it. “are you kidding? i can do anything.”

“always so humble.”

“yeah, that’s why you like me so much.” he laughs. “that’s why i’m your friend.”

“whatever makes you sleep at night.”

mingyu wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.

he’s putting in effort to make you like him, that’s for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams — he’s certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.

and you hate how easily you get used to it.

for whatever reason, you haven’t had sex since that day either. you’re pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.

which is sweet. but you also have needs, and they’re worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as he’s proved many times at this point.

so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.

as he’s seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.

“your girlfriend texting you again?”

mingyu looks up at joshua, who’s sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. “not my girlfriend.”

“she might as well be.”

“she doesn’t like me enough to be.”

shua wouldn’t call himself nosy, but he’s determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. “what’s up with you and her?”

“it’s complicated.” his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. “i’m not even sure, honestly.”

joshua has this ability to pry people’s hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat — how easily he does it should be studied.

“are you friends with benefits or something? situationship?”

ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. “she doesn’t like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, i’m busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.”

“have you told her you like her?”

“sort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.”

joshua finds mingyu’s inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. “maybe she’ll warm up to you. give it a while, she’s a tough nut to crack.”

“is she open with you?”

“sort of. i don’t think there’s a single soul out there she’s completely open with.” he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. “she has mentioned in the past that she’s actually very sensitive but just doesn’t, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.”

mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.

give it time.

which he does. he notices you’re gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much — but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and you’re showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.

you’re starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.

just like right now. you’re smiling at him over something he can’t remember — it’s a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as they’re rare — and you just look so pretty.

a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.

“hey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.” he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. “oh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.”

his wording makes you chuckle. “fine. i’ll be there.”

“you won’t regret it. our team is great.”

“really? then you better prove it. can’t be cheering for the losing team.”

with a raised brow, he points at you. “wanna bet?”

“what do you have in mind?”

he considers his options for a moment. “if my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as you’re into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.”

now that’s an offer you’re certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. “alright. deal.”

he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. “oh, and, just so you know — my team’s won regional championships for the past two years in a row. i’m just saying.”

you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.

damn that asshole for making you like him this much.

saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.

mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him you’d be there, sitting with the crowd.

it seems like it’s going to be a cold-weather match today. it’s already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. you’re glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you won’t be soaked by the time the game is over.

your eyes are fixed on mingyu’s back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing what’s most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.

then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, he’s incredibly handsome.

before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.

he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.

mingyu’s a real sweetheart, you have to admit. he’s growing on you.

watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, it’s great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.

you’re certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.

shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.

it’s his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight — until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.

you’re now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyu’s team to score another goal.

the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.

it’s all yells of happiness on the field.

the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.

you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.

following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.

mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug you’ve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in — in the best way possible.

when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you don’t shy away from it.

he’s so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes — your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.

but there’s too much at stake to get impulsive. “thanks for coming.”

“you’re welcome.” you blankly respond, making him smile a little.

“how did i do? good enough for your standards?”

you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. “i was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.”

he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. “you’re hilarious.”

“something i’m very aware of.”

he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.

“wanna go catch a drink with me?”

“don’t you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?”

“not tonight.” he shakes his head. “i just gotta go get my bag. come with me?”

he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. “okay, yeah.”

you head to the men’s locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.

“the lights haven’t been working since yesterday, so watch your step.” mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where you’re going.

you suddenly get an idea. “do you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?”

“they usually do. ten minutes, give or take.” he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.

once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“i give credit where it’s due, you know.”

oh. oh. he only then understands what you’re getting at.

you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow — he lives for it. “in public? here? we could go back to your—oh, shit—”

you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. “but you’re already hard, gyu.”

christ. you’ve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if you’re not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.

he doesn’t protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.

you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. he’s so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.

“h—holy shit, that feels good.” he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.

his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you can’t take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.

you look up at him when he’s shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.

arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.

“fuck, fuck, baby—”

you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. “wanna taste everything. can’t make a mess here.”

it’s such a shame he’s still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever you’re sucking him off — like he can’t catch his breath. it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

his legs are trembling, and he’s embarrasingly close to his release already. “you don’t—ah—have to do this here if you don’t want to—”

“‘m not leaving ‘til you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?”

he nods, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he can’t help it. “yeah, yeah, i’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“good boy.” you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.

the moment you hollow your cheeks, it’s over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.

both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows it’s time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.

you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if he’s being truthful.

“you’re insane.” he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. “you’re blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“you’re getting special treatment, you know. i don’t suck off my other friends.” you tease, shrugging your shoulders.

maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. “does this mean i made it to friend level 2?”

“you did. now you’ve been downgraded back to level 1, though. what’re you gonna do about it?”

he plays along with you. “well, shit. can’t have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?”

“sounds good.” the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.

he’s getting closer to you than you anticipated, and that’s not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself it’ll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?

another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesn’t drop by your dorm. he doesn’t text, doesn’t call — and you find yourself worried about him.

it’s been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isn’t a good sign.

you’ve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know he’s been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once you’ve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.

it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.

when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didn’t wake him. he’s wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.

the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. “you look like shit.”

he snorts at your words. “would you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?”

“absolutely.”

he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. “wanna come in? i promise i’ll stay at a distance so you won’t get it.”

you didn’t think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. “i was wondering why you didn’t call. then chan told me you were sick.”

he shuts the door behind you. “yeah, i’ve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. i’m sorry for not letting you know — didn’t think you were worried.”

you pause for a moment. “well. you thought wrong. friends worry, don’t they?”

the words make him smile. he didn’t think you cared all that much about him for some reason — this changes that. “fair. what’s in the bowl?”

he’s referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. “soup. i don’t know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so… yeah. i figured you could use it.”

his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. “thank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.”

as he’s walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like he’s about to lose his balance. “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘s just—i’m a little dizzy.”

your hands find his shoulders — a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him — to put him down on his bed. “don’t force it. if you’re about to faint, you might as well be lying down.”

his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.

as soon as you’re about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems he’s already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure he’s comfortable.

you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesn’t deserve.

maybe mingyu likes to think he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but that’s far from the truth. even you have noticed he’s been looking at you a certain way recently, and that’s saying something.

one look at him and you’re already feeling like a big softie. it’s ridiculous.

you’re scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, it’ll be fine.

now that he’s asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.

you usually take him to your dorm, so you’re not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories he’s made.

they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you he’d frame one up as a way of ‘solidifying your friendship’ as he so politely put it.

still, you didn’t think he’d actually do it.

smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he must’ve been working on something when you knocked on his door.

out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay he’s been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.

you take a look at the assignment and decide you’re gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.

when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. you’re gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and there’s a sticky note attached to it.

slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.

you must’ve written something on the note, he figures.

‘hopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if it’s not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. x’

he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on — and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, it’s good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone who’s not actually taking the class.

and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.

you’re at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.

looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. “mingyu, what the hell are you doing here?”

“i got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i always hate. you’re a genius.” he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.

you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. “so i’ve heard. good to see you’re doing better.”

“is there anything i can do in return?”

“don’t worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.”

the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds he’s gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. “you know how you said i’d get nothing out of a friendship with you?” he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, “you were wrong.”

a mere chuckle escapes you. “right. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.”

your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. “you’re wonderful, you know that?”

it’s not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. “am i?”

“yeah, you are,” he nods, pushing out more compliments, “and i’m glad to have you in my life.”

the playful expression on your face falters — like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and that’s beginning to scare you a little.

he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.

and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.

whenever he texts you, you either tell him you don’t have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if he’s going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.

but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.

after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides he’s had enough.

when you’re almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

“i gotta leave for my lecture, i don’t have time for this.”

“so make the time.” he says sternly, jaw clenched. “answer the question.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you.”

“sure. so it’s a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?”

you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. “no, it isn’t.”

he raises his hands in defeat. “so, why?”

“it’s been fun. i don’t know. but you’ve proved what you wanted to prove, so… good for you. we can both move on now.” you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.

“you’re lying.” he breathes out, scoffing to himself. he’s baffled that you think he’d consider it believable at all. “four months ago, i would’ve bought that. but not now.”

“believe what you wanna believe. i don’t really care.” you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.

“don’t bullshit me. you care. i don’t know why the fuck you’re so hellbent on not admitting that, but it’s the truth.”

he’s beginning to get on your nerves. “what fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything that’s going on inside my head already.”

it’s then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. “what makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chan—all of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?”

“because you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, you’ve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions don’t line up with that.”

“so what? i like you and i’m pretty damn sure you like me too.” his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. “what are you so afraid of?”

either you’re imagining things or he’s leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.

your fingers touch the back of his neck. it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.

kissing mingyu is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven, but right now, all it’s making you feel is guilt and shame.

so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. “close the door on your way out.” you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.

he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.

“fuck.”

it’s been a week, and he hasn’t called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that he’s decided to move on.

which is understandable. if you were him, you’d be done with it too.

it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void you’re unable to fill. and it hurts — you miss him.

you’re having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when he’s suddenly standing in front of you by the table. “i just got a call from the gallery manager — we’ve got it to ourselves this friday evening!”

minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. “me and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery so we could finally be able to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.”

hao is a passionate painter — mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and they’ve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, you’re happy for them.

“that’s great! we can come, right?” seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.

“yeah, you guys better.” minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. “you have to come too. you’re free, right?”

he’s aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now — though he doesn’t know why — but he still thinks it’d be good for you and him to see each other.

your eyes meet mingyu’s for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.

mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. “sure. i'll be there.”

he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if there’s a watch there.

there isn’t. “won’t you look at the time. i’ll see you guys later.”

they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if it’s the first time witnessing it — as if he hasn’t known you to be like this for several months.

he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. “what?”

“you’re deep in it.” minghao remarks. “when are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?”

“it’s not that easy.”

seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. “wait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

the other two just deadpan a stare at him.

on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know he’s been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldn’t afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.

you’re wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.

the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.

as you’re passing some of mingyu’s framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.

“i was surprised when you agreed to come.”

when you turn your head, he’s standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.

personally, you find it’s relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but he’s definitely got it. he looks good. really good.

biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. “came to see if you were any good.”

“and? what’s your judgement?”

“haven’t made up my mind yet.” your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. “does my judgement really matter that much, though?”

he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. “more than you know.”

him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. he’s so genuine in it too — and you just don’t know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.

people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. you’re crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.

and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when you’re lying to him, he knows when you’re upset or hurt — and the idea that there’s someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.

in moments like these, your expression doesn’t gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically — it’s like you received a slap to the face.

“your photography is beautiful, mingyu. you’re talented, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.” your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladies’ room, hoping he won’t follow you.

you exhale when he doesn’t.

knowing it’s way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.

minghao’s paintings are beautiful. you’re in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.

as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. “so, what do you think? do i have potential?”

“are you kidding? you’ve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.”

he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. “what’d you do to mingyu?”

you cross your arms over your chest. “why’re you assuming i did something?”

“because he’s been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks. and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...”

taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. “honestly, i’m not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.”

minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. “he came out of nowhere and you started liking him.”

the comment makes your eyes widen, but you don’t bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. “yeah. so i pushed him away.”

he’s aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. “what did he do?”

you could cry, honestly. your face is blank — your voice trembles. “he said he was happy to have me in his life. god, i’m so fucking insecure.”

hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. “you’re not obligated to do something you don’t wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyu’s a good guy. he’ll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.”

with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting that’s currently in front of you, only to realize it’s about two lovers.

there’s a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like you’re somewhere in the middle right now.

“christ, i need a fucking drink.” you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

“mind if i join you?”

of course. why are you even surprised?

without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. “sure you want my company?”

“beats going drinking alone.” mingyu shrugs next to you.

you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. “whatever you say.”

luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. you’re not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.

he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because it’s still relatively early in the evening.

since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.

the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until they’re completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.

his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him — like you don’t give a fuck about him.

you look down at your glass. you still haven’t exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didn’t want to be here with him in the first place.

liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.

the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, it’s you who ends up speaking first.

“if you’re trying to make the situation more awkward, you’re succeeding.”

“i’m just trying to find the words. don’t know where to start.”

your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. “then don’t.”

of course you’re aware you’re being mean. but it’s to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?

mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if he’s deciphering a puzzle. “i will. because i care.”

that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better — you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.

“can i ask you something?”

you don’t actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.

“you not showing much… is it a front you put up or something you just do?”

an interesting question — one you actually have to think about. “the latter. having a resting bitch face doesn’t really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. can’t have everyone showing everything.”

“why not?”

blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. it’s not a genuine one. “do you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?”

“because your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?”

“because you can’t tell what i’m thinking.”

he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like he’s on the right track here.

“maybe i kinda like that disadvantage.” he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.

“no, you don’t.”

“how would you know?”

you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. “my mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldn’t tell what i was thinking.” you pout your lips as if you’re thinking about it. “i told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.”

“why?”

“putting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.”

“so you think it’s better to isolate your feelings completely — discuss them with no one? ever?”

“unless it’s necessary, yes. besides, feelings aren’t black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?”

mingyu looks—no, gazes at you. “how will you know if you don’t try?”

“how do you know i haven’t? you think you’re the first person who’s tried to get close to me like this?” you ask, tilting your head. “speaking of which, i’ve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. i’m not buying the whole ‘i-just-wanna-be-friends’ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.”

“it wasn’t for the sex.” he shrugs his shoulders. “i like you.”

“so you’ve mentioned. since when?”

“since… always.”

“we never even talked before soonyoung’s party.”

“no, but i liked you.”

“bullshit.” you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. “i’m hardly likeable — nothing i’m insecure about. just a plain fact.”

“and yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.” he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. “do you like me?”

“i can’t stand you,” you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable you’ve become with him after doing so, “but at least you’ve got a pretty face to make up for it.”

it’s unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.

every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.

but, fuck, he just can’t get enough.

another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so he’ll take his.

the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.

“i think i’ve got you all figured out.”

his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. “oh yeah? go on. try me, i’m curious.”

the words tumble from his lips as if they’re part of a monologue he’s been rehearsing for weeks. “you feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you don’t mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply don’t like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it’d be a big mistake to think you don’t have one — and honestly, i’d do anything to be close to it.”

it’s not often you’re speechless.

he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone — the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.

“good job,” you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, “i guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means we’re done here, right?”

he finally spots the shift in your behavior. “wait—”

“have a good night, gyu.”

you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.

as you’re trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. “what did i do? was it something i said?”

letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. “it was everything you said.”

“why?” he asks, the tension running thicker. “why won’t you just let me in, for once? just this time?”

you hate how desperate he sounds — you hate how much it’s tugging at your heartstrings.

“why do you even want me to?”

“‘cause i like you.”

“no, you don’t. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?”

“i’ve given you no reason to like me.”

“what, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?”

his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself — and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.

mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.

“it’s not true,” he says before you attempt to answer, “because you… being around you makes me happy. when i’m not with you, i think of when i’ll see you next. you matter to me.”

you’re not sure what’s worse — the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.

“you’d do best to try and get rid of that feeling.”

but he knows there’s more lingering behind your words. “tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“what i feel means nothing.” you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. “let it go.”

“why don’t you wanna try?”

“because it’d be a disaster. for both of us.”

“c’mon,” he pleads, gently touching your fingers, “please don’t push me away.”

“god—i have my reasons, mingyu.”

“then explain them to me!”

“i can’t give you what you want!” you cry out, needing him to understand you. “someone like you just doesn’t work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but it’s the truth. i wouldn’t tell you i love you, i’m fucking—bitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel — and you are the complete opposite. i’d make you miserable. you’d grow to hate me.”

“no, i wouldn’t.”

“you would. you... i do like you. i don’t know what the hell you did, like—it’s bizarre how much i’ve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, we’d never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable — those are all traits that i don’t have. i wish i did, but that’s just how i’m engineered. we wouldn’t work.”

“how do you even know that?”

“i’ve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me ‘cause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didn’t show a thing. because i don’t do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they get close to me, so i’m telling you now. this? you and me?” you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. “we’d be idiots to try.”

“fine. then consider me an idiot.” he breathes out, just barely registering how close he’s standing to you. “i’m willing to try. please.”

the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. “i’m sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings aren’t valid solely because i don’t like expressing them.”

“i’m not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.”

“gyu—” you plead, almost like you’re begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he won’t.

and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. it’s so scary, so tempting.

“i don’t wanna lose you.”

he adores you so much — it’s ridiculous. “you won’t lose me. please…” he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, “please let me in.”

his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye — he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but he’s determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.

it’s raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if he’s leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.

mingyu’s smile shines even in the heavy downpour — a bright light that balances out your dull one.

he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.

you and kim mingyu shouldn’t work — perhaps that’s exactly the reason why you do.

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

#seventeen x reader #svt oneshot #svt x reader #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu angst #mingyu smut #mingyu x reader #kim mingyu ff #kim mingyu fanfic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen oneshot #seventeen imagines #mingyu x you #svthub #svt fic #svt fanfic #seventeen imagine #svt angst #svt imagines #kmg: bloom for me #original post

[kentopedia]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ LET YOUR HEART BE LIGHT — LEVI ACKERMAN

summary . . . your childhood best friend, eren, invites you to his christmas eve party, but your ex is going to be there. in order to get back at him, levi tags along as your fake boyfriend

contents . . . sfw, fake dating, f!reader, age gap (levi early 30s, reader early 20s), past unhealthy relationships, pining, fluff, humor, miscommunication, light angst, insecure and shy reader, zeke jaeger :/, not so friends to lovers, bff hange, she/they prns for hange — 12.3k

notes . . . my bday gift for my beloved that i have been speeding through the past couple of days, so pls ignore any errors. i adore him so dearly and he means so much to me. it's a little bit cheesy, and may be a little be rushed for christmas, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless. merry christmas everyone i love u all so so much <33

“Are you even listening to me, Hange?” you asked, sighing as you leaned your head back on the sofa, taking a long sip of your wine. The alcohol washed over you, soothed the tension that was wrought within your body as the warmth began buzzing through you.

Hange poked their head up from the simmering pot, a cloud of steam wafting up under the lid. With the combination of vegetables and spices, you were pretty sure that she was making stew for dinner — and far too much for just two of you, by the looks of it.

“Sorry,” Hange said, sheepish, glasses falling down her nose. “I’m almost done, I promise.” 

You frowned, but waved your hand, letting them return to the kitchen. Hange hummed a tune, their delightful mood such a contrast to the horrific news you’d received earlier in the day. 

Briefly, your mind wandered off into the misery you’d let yourself wallow in, but Hange came around the corner quickly, stilling your anger. There were two bowls in their hands, and they gave one to you, letting it warm your own palms, the smell deliciously comforting. 

“So what’s this about your ex?” Hange asked, interested, their voice expressive, attentive, as usual. “You got invited to his party?”

The scalding spoonful of soup slid down your throat, as you prepared yourself to start the conversation from the beginning. Hange was a horrible multitasker, though she denied it, and your entire half-hour of rambling had gone in one ear, and out the other. 

Though, just as you were about to speak, you were interrupted once more by a knocking at the front door. You glanced over to the source of the noise, then back to your roommate, eyebrows raised. “Are you expecting company?” 

Hange laughed a little; it was such a carefree sound, and one that always seemed to be spilling from their lips. “Oh, it’s just Levi. I told him I was making a lot of stew, so he could come over for dinner.” 

Of course  — Who else would be banging at your door at this hour?

You sighed, the sound leaving you in something akin to a small whisper, your expression falling in disappointment. 

Levi Ackerman lived on the floor below you, in an apartment you’d never been to, living a life you knew almost nothing about. It had been two years since you’d met, when he helped Hange move into your shared apartment, and yet, he was still an enigma after all that time. 

What you did know was that Levi was a few years older than Hange, many more years older than you, and he always seemed to be around. He was quiet, for the most part, but he had a sarcastic sense of humor that only a few people seemed to understand. Him and Hange were comfortable joking with each other; your roommate never got offended by his comments, ones that would’ve been scandalizing to some others. 

For a while, their comfort with one another had led you to believe they were dating. You’d asked Hange about it one day at dinner, a fleeting comment, as you stuck a fork into your dish. 

“So how long have you and Levi been together?” you’d said.

Hange had shot water out of their nose, fell back in their chair, cackling so hard that tears sprang to their eyes. You’d only stared back like an idiot, poked at your food, until Hange sobered, and apologized for embarrassing you. 

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Hange explained, sipping on their soda, still smiling like you’d told the funniest joke imaginable. “Levi and I are just close friends. My partner lives a few hours away, going back to school. He’ll be moving back home in a year.” 

You’d supposed it made sense, looking back. Their embraces were often stiff on Levi’s end, his affection coming on minimally. Hange was a much more touchy person, so perhaps, that’s where you’d crafted the image of them in a relationship. 

Which was a silly one, now that you could see your error in hindsight.

“And Levi?” you’d asked shortly after, curious about the man you’d known—and still knew—so little about.

“Oh, Levi’s not with anyone,” Hange had hummed, rolling their eyes like this was a point of contention. “He doesn’t really date.” 

“Why?”

“He doesn’t like to.” 

“Oh.” 

That’d been that, of course.

 You hadn’t asked any other questions, but in the months that followed, your mind had whirled, piecing together an image of Levi Ackerman that made the most sense to you. 

He was handsome; startlingly so. Beautiful to the point that you averted your gaze when he glanced at you, your cheeks heating, palms sweaty. A thirty-something, intelligent, quiet man with his act together. He drew women to him easily, took them back home. . . perhaps a different one every night. Maybe he kept them around for a bit, until he got bored of them.

He’d never romance them, and they’d never expect that from him. If he called them back, which he did rarely, it was never because he liked them. It was because he wanted something from them, nothing more. 

At least, that’s what you thought Levi Ackerman was like, in the times he was outside of the four walls of your apartment. Perhaps your stiffness towards him continued to stem from that caricature you’d created. 

You sighed, bringing yourself back to the present as Hange let Levi in through the door, his shoes loud against the hardwood.

Really, it was hard not to form biased opinions when Levi offered up so little about himself. 

When you did talk with him, which was frequently, the conversations always centered around you. He had asked you many times about school when you’d been finishing up your degree; Levi asked you about your job when you’d first started. 

Of course, he never offered anything up about his job, which you knew must have been quite nice, nor about his family, which you figured must have been quite complicated. 

And, as always, you were forced to wipe your hands on your pants, the sweat turning your palms clammy, as you scolded yourself for the fact that Levi Ackerman still made you nervous. 

Levi’s eyes flitted across the room as he walked in, the navy blue irises cool when they met your own. He didn’t smile, but he made some sort of acknowledgement of your existence, before Hange had dragged him into the kitchen and filled up a bowl of soup for him. 

Moments later, he was on one of the chairs before you, the bottle of wine in the middle of your odd little circle. Unconsciously, you had sucked in a breath, looking away, as Levi prodded at his bowl like he was afraid of the contents. 

“Well, it’s not going to jump out and eat you,” Hange rolled her eyes, snickering, at Levi’s bored expression. “Just try it, Levi.” 

“It smells different. What the hell did you do to it?” Levi let the spoonful fall back into the bowl, the broth dripping off the edge of the silverware. “I’m not participating in any kinds of experiments, Hange, if that’s what this is.” 

“Oh, be grateful.” Hange huffed, crossing their arms over their chest. “I followed a recipe. If you don’t want it, I’ll take it down the hall to Erwin.” 

When Levi said nothing for another moment, Hange made a move to steal the bowl out of his hands.

Quickly, he guided it away.

“No, no. I’ll eat it. Your cooking may be horrendous, but it certainly saves me time.”

Hange smiled, satisfied, reading between Levi’s cool remark, sensing a thank you in there somewhere. 

It had been hard, at first, to talk to Levi, and understanding him was a skill that you’d found you could only develop with time. He had a dry sense of humor, said very little with a smile, and could certainly be mean when he wanted to be. His words were often blunt, and even when he was joking, it was hard to tell. 

Once, when you’d first met, Levi had hurt your feelings. You’d tried not to let it show, but Hange had known, as always, and had squeezed your shoulder, reassuring. 

“Levi’s just like that sometimes, but he’s a good person. Just give him a chance. I think you’ll find you’re a lot more similar than you think.”

Similar was a bit far-fetched, but you supposed you’d grown to appreciate Levi’s sense of humor. Perhaps you even found him funny at times, laughed at his jokes. He was kind when he wanted to be, even if his communication was a one-way street. There was a distance between you, but a part of you wanted to keep it that way. 

Levi ate a spoonful of the soup, swirling it around in his mouth before swallowing. His gaze trailed to the ceiling, thoughtful, before muttering some sort of praise. “Surprisingly better than the last stew you made, Hange,” he said, and Hange was pleased, a smile widening across her face. “I assume your roommate had nothing to do with it, did she?” 

You made a face at him, not sure if he was insulting you, or trying to suggest that you could’ve improved Hange’s cooking. Either way, you returned his dry tone, swirling your spoon around in the bowl. “Well, if I did, it certainly wasn’t to please your fussy tastes.” 

Levi almost cracked a smile at that, but snorted instead, leaning back in the cushion of his chair. 

For some reason, Levi’s movement seemed to trigger Hange’s memory, and they flung their spoon out of the bowl, splashing soup on the coffee table, as they pointed it at you.

“Wait, finish your story!” Hange cut off Levi’s sentence, and he frowned, but said nothing, getting comfortable on the couch. 

Today, he was wearing a gray cable-knit sweater, and a beautiful silver watch that likely cost an entire months worth of your salary. His hair had been mussed a bit from the cold, cheeks tinged red. 

Levi must have come from outside, you’d realized, not just downstairs. Another mystery that you would never uncover — how Levi spent his weekends, besides the time he spent in your apartment.

Distracted, you looked back down at your hands, hating the way that Levi pinned you with his gaze. He was far too attentive, his eyes too intense; even if you had been as confident as you liked to believe, as self-assured, you’d never been able to hold eye-contact with the dark-haired man for very long. 

“Oh, that,” you said, huffing, recalling the news that had been delivered to you earlier that evening. Not so bad, really; you were making a big deal out of something so small. But the casual remark, via a text message from your high school best-friend, had been enough to sour your mood for the rest of the afternoon. “Well, Eren is having a party on Christmas Eve. All of our high school friends will be back home for the holidays, so I’ll actually get to see them for once.” 

Hange smiled, their eyes lighting up, but the confusion in her expression shone through knitted eyebrows. “Well, that’s great!” they said, as Levi sat quietly, slurping on his soup like he’d been raised in some penthouse apartment, a view shining over the city. You could imagine him with a nanny that had been specifically hired to teach him manners. A playful version of Levi as a child was near impossible to envision — you saw him only sitting calmly, politely, hands crossed over his lap. “Why do you seem so upset?” 

You looked away, chewing the inside of your mouth, your stomach turning. It was the last thing you wanted to think about, the way your two desires were at odds. How desperately you wanted to see all your old friends, the ones that were spread all over. None of you had been all together since you were in high school. 

Yet, the other part of you considered calling Eren and canceling on him, telling him you wanted to spend it with your family instead, that you’d just have to catch up with them next time. 

Who knew when that would be.

“Zeke’s coming,” you sighed, rubbing your arm. “It’s only been a year. I don’t want to see him again.” 

Hange’s eyes widened. Slowly, she leaned back, nodding, as understanding flicked through her face. “I see.” 

“Exactly,” you swallowed the last bit of soup, letting the warmth comfort you, wash over you in waves. Perhaps, it would cleanse some of the anxiety that sat riddled in your chest. “Now you see…” 

“Well, sure I mean—” 

“Who the hell is Zeke?” Levi interrupted, drawing your attention back to him, his back straight, despite being relaxed in the chair. Everything about him was so put together. Even the socks he wore even seemed expensive, his shoes by the door freshly shined. “An ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-boyfriend seems too kind of a word for Zeke Jaeger,” you spat, letting his name drip from your mouth with every ounce of hatred you could muster. “He’s a plague upon my life. I’d do anything not to see him again.” 

Levi set the bowl down, curiosity piqued. “I don’t see why your friend invited him if he’s so horrible.” 

“Zeke is Eren’s brother,” Hange offered.

“Half-brother,” you corrected, tucking your knees into your chest to rest your chin against them. “Don’t give him that much credit. Eren’s an idiot, but even he doesn’t deserve to be related to someone as awful as Zeke.” 

Hange laughed, though you didn’t find it to be as hilarious as they did. Your scowl deepened.

“Anyway, Eren’s throwing it at his parent’s house since they’ll be out for the night — Zeke invited himself. With his new girlfriend, I’m sure.” Your rolled your eyes, tucking your cheek against the couch cushion. “She’ll be better than me, of course. Probably prettier.”

Levi studied you for a moment, reading the hurt that you tried to veil on your face. Usually, you weren’t so open with him. You didn’t like being vulnerable, and especially not with Levi, who seemed to view any emotion as a weakness. “I see the issue.” 

You huffed, a sound of agreement, and played with the loose thread on the sofa. “Yeah, well, it was stupid of me to date my best friend’s brother anyway. When has that ever worked out?” 

Hange reached across the coffee table to squeeze your hand, sympathetic. “Hey. Don’t do that. What’s done is done. Besides, what are the odds he’ll actually show up?”

“Uh, pretty fucking high if he’s staying with his dad for Christmas,” you scowled, rubbing your eye, makeup smeared on the side of it when you drew away.

Hange’s lips pulled together, flattening into a thin line. “Well…” Dark brown eyes flitted between you and Levi, who was looking at your roommate with something less than amusement. “You could always take Levi as your date.” 

“You can’t be serious,” Levi said, his tone flat, lips drawing into a thin line. 

“What? That’s… No,” you laughed awkwardly, growing hot, nervous. Suddenly, you were worried that your panicked stutter made it seem like this had been your plan all along. To get Levi to come as your date — which was ridiculous, really, but perhaps not so farfetched with the way he regarded you. “I can’t do that.” 

“Why? It’d be a big old fuck you to Zeke Jaeger. Levi is far better looking than him.” Hange gestured to Levi, as if you weren’t already painfully aware of how beautiful their best friend was. “He’s better in almost every way, actually. Not that the bar is very high.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Levi asked, poking Hange on the side of the head. “Almost every way?” 

“Zeke’s pretty tall.”

Levi rolled his eyes, dismissive. “Like that matters.” 

“It does!” 

You stopped them before they could bicker any further. Hange seemed to make it their mission to always rile Levi up — not that it was very difficult, but it always brought an amused smile to her lips. 

“Hange’s right, though. The bar is not so high.” You shrugged, curling in on yourself again — just another reminder of how much of a mistake you’d made. How desperate you must have been to have fallen for Zeke Jaeger. Even Eren had warned you about him. “It’s a stupid idea, though. No one would believe it. Least of all, Zeke.” 

“Why not?” Levi said. “You think I’d be a bad boyfriend. Think I can’t play that role well?” 

“That’s not—” you began, but let the words fall away, sniffing back the self-deprecating sentiment. It wasn’t that you needed him to seem like a good boyfriend. Levi was unapproachable, cold, reserved, regardless of who he was with… Even his best friend. It would take very little from him to sell the performance. A small smile, a hand around your waist. Perhaps a kiss on the forehead for good measure. 

It wasn’t that, really. 

It was more that Zeke would know, immediately. Would see you together, and laugh to himself, because someone like Levi would never want someone like you. A statement as painfully clear as the color of the sky. 

You didn’t want to admit that to either of them, though. So, instead, you narrowed your eyes, challenging Levi, perhaps, even, daring him to retract his statement. “Well… can you?” 

“Which are you asking?” Levi drummed his fingers against his thigh, pale and slender, his nails clean, neatly trimmed. Distracting, almost. “If I can put on a performance, or if I can be a good partner?” 

You shrugged. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed further, thoughtful. 

“I’ll go with you,” he finally said, after a near minute of silence, in which you weren’t sure what to say. Hange watched beside you, painfully entertained. “I’d like to see how truly awful this boyfriend of yours is.” 

“Don’t say boyfriend,” you made a face, “and he’s pretty damn awful.” 

The next few days, you’d mapped out something of a plan with Levi — though, there was little between you that you needed to figure out. It wasn’t as if you were strangers. Levi had known vaguely that you’d had a boyfriend up until last Christmas, had known that you were still close with your group of friends from high school. 

He knew quite a bit about you, something you only just now realized. Levi often said little, but he was observant, picked things up easily. He seemed to know you better than you thought, and it wouldn’t be difficult to convince everyone of your closeness.

With that knowledge, you calmed, realizing that, maybe, it wouldn’t be so difficult to spin your relationship into a romantic one. 

The story followed: Levi had been there for you after Zeke had broken up with you. You’d been friends for a while. He had asked you on a date shortly after. Simple — no outlandish lie. 

Still, a part of you contemplated telling Zeke you’d been fucking Levi while you were still together. He probably wouldn’t believe it anyway, but you wanted to see even a hint of frustration on his usually dull expression.

On your way back to your hometown, Levi insisted on driving his car, one that was a few years old, but still had that new smell, every single inch of it outrageously clean, each crack in the cushions vacuumed. There was hardly anything in the vehicle; a pair of sunglasses in the center console, some spare cash next to it. 

He’d picked you up with two coffees, which now rested, empty, in the cupholders. 

The two of you spent the ride mostly in silence, listening to a Christmas playlist that Levi had awkwardly switched to, as if he’d been embarrassed of whatever he’d been playing before. One hand held the wheel, the other resting against the console, tapping on the leather between you. 

You stared, the movement of his fingers distracting. For the second time, you were staring at his slender hands, the veins dark under his skin. How nice they were, like something out of a painting.

God, when did you start noticing that? 

“Thank you for the coffee,” you said, realizing your manners all too late, embarrassed you hadn’t said it earlier. “How did you know what I liked?” 

Levi glanced over, slowing down as the light turned red. For a moment, he hesitated; contemplated. Pink tongue flicked over his bottom lip as the car idled. “Hange told me.” 

“Oh.” 

Levi shrugged. “Well, you’re welcome anyway.” 

The light turned green. Silence settled between you once again. 

You twitched uncomfortably, wondering how much you should say — or shouldn’t say. There weren’t many times you had been together, just the two of you, without Hange somewhere near. 

Levi didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, but then again, he could’ve just been focused on driving. He was gracious enough to take on that responsibility, and you didn’t want to be distracting, even if the near silence was driving you mad. On the other hand, there wasn’t much you wanted to say. Every time you thought of something, a conversation to strike up, it died just as quickly on your lips. 

Eventually, Levi seemed to grow tired of the awkwardness between you, how stiff you appeared to be. His eyes darted towards you once again, studying you from the corner of his eye. “If you want people to believe that we’re dating, you’re going to have to stop acting like that.” 

You blinked at him, shifting in your seat. “Like what?” 

“Like…” Levi shrugged. “Like I’m holding you at gunpoint.”

A laugh bubbled out of you. “What does that mean?”

He gave you a blank expression, certainly calling you an idiot with nothing more than a gaze. “It means you make it blatantly obvious you don’t want to be around me. I know you dislike me, but maybe…” Levi shook his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. “At least try to pretend otherwise.” 

Your stomach twisted up as Levi worked his jaw, frustrated, undeniably. For some unknown reason, it made you feel ashamed, even more shy around him than you’d been before. Levi was probably used to women who knew what they wanted. Who could meet his eyes without feeling a sense of shyness creep up their spine. Who could do a lot of things that you couldn’t, and could match his wit and sarcasm without feeling the rush of dread that you’d offended him. 

“I don’t dislike you, Levi,” you said, huffing. “I just — don’t think we get along well.” 

“That’s news to me,” he said, tapping the gearshift. The music turned down two notches from where he punched the button on the wheel. “Hange says we’re quite compatible.” 

“What?” you laughed loudly, ignoring the race of your heart, the furl of anxiety in your chest. “Don’t listen to anything they say — Hange wants to set me up with everyone. You’re hardly the best option.” 

Levi, for once, quirked his lips in something near a smile. “Funny. I thought the same thing.” 

You scoffed, warm again, crossing your arms over your chest. It was infuriating, really, how you felt around him. Surely you weren’t the only one — Levi radiated confidence and authority, entirely. You’d never seen him interact with many others, but surely they averted their gazes, cheeks warm, stumbling over words. Surely, you couldn’t be the only one who seemed to feel so small under the breadth of his presence. 

Another song played before he spoke again, tapping his fingers against the wheel. Familiarity sprung up around you as the landscape began to change, the scenery transforming into one you’d grown up in.

“Why did you date Zeke, anyway?” Levi asked, this time, not bothering to look at you. He stared straight ahead, passing a slower car, the blinker tapping wildly against the dashboard. 

You shrugged, scratching your wrist as you looked out the window. How you loathed this topic of conversation. It didn’t matter why you’d dated that man — only that you had, and you regretted it. 

You found yourself telling Levi anyway. “He was funny,” you said, quietly, watching the clouds pass above in the sky, dark and gloomy. “He was charming. He liked to read and so did I.” 

Levi hummed, but it was dismissive, an acknowledgement of pity and nothing more. Deep down, he was probably laughing, amused at your idiocy. “That’s it?” 

“I know it’s stupid… I was stupid,” you said, defensive, curling your hands into fists. “He was my first boyfriend, and I was naive. I wanted to be loved, and Zeke told me he loved me.” You felt the wash of angry tears come back upon you, and you flushed them away, sniffing. “I just didn’t know he’d told two other women the same thing at the same time.”

Levi’s eyes flashed, surprised, as they darted back towards you. “Jesus,” he muttered, fist turning white as it clutched the wheel. “You were right. What a fucking asshole.” 

You smiled a bit, shaking your head. For all accounts, Levi could be an asshole in his own way; a comment you decided to keep to yourself. 

“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. I don’t give a shit about Zeke Jaeger. He can rot in hell for all I care.” You wiped your face, yawning as the sun began it’s descent in the sky. “I’ve given up on finding love anyway. I just don’t want Zeke to have the satisfaction of knowing it was his fault.” A sigh left you. “Besides, that was probably the point. Our relationship was likely just a way to test some philosophy he’d come up with — nothing matters, least of all love.” You rolled your eyes. “He’s like that.” 

Levi didn’t say anything, but you could see him thinking, his eyebrows tied closely together. “But, you know that’s not true, don’t you?” he said, his tone flat, as usual. “You can’t possibly think that you don’t deserve to be loved.” 

You smiled. “Of course,” you said, nodding. “I’m just better off without it.” 

Levi took a breath, looked over once more, and then let the conversation die. 

You hoped it sounded much more convincing to Levi’s ears than your own.

While you were visiting, over the next couple of days, you were staying at Pieck’s apartment. She was two years older, but had been in some of your university courses, and you’d met back in college. You’d found out you were from the same city, and had bonded instantly, having lived such a similar life, in the same place, without even realizing it. 

The three of you had grabbed a quick dinner, and when you got back late, Pieck gave you a little tour of her small apartment, showing Levi more than anything, since you’d visited her twice before. 

“Here’s the other bedroom,” Pieck said, flipping the switch on. It was a room filled with soft pink decor, the comforter lacy and white. “My roommate is visiting family, so you’re welcome to sleep in here; she doesn’t mind. I’ve cleaned the sheets and everything.” 

Levi thanked her, and Pieck smiled sleepily, walking back to her own bedroom with a wave. 

You watched as Levi set his bag down, tugged off his thick jacket. He hung it, gently, on the back of the desk chair, unhooking his watch to set it down beside the coat. His wrist looked so bare that way. Nothing to cover it up, exposing the even softer skin where the accessory usually rested. 

You looked away. “Is everything okay?” you asked, by way of making your exit, eyes flicking around the room. 

Levi glanced up, unfolding a pair of clean clothes from his bag, almost like he’d forgotten you were standing there. “Should something be wrong?” he asked in return, placing a pair of flannel pajama pants next to the gray t-shirt. 

For some reason, the image caused your heart to swell, the sight of something so normal within Levi’s grasp. The organ that continuously betrayed you sped up, beating harder.

It was endearing, really, to see such a mundane side of Levi. He always lived in that enigmatic shroud, some sort of ever-present being that you couldn’t quite understand. 

You smiled softly. “No. Just wanted to make sure. Goodnight, Levi.” 

He said something back, but you were already halfway down the hall, slinging your own bag to Pieck’s room. She was on her side, scrolling through her phone, dark hair splayed across the pillow like a halo. Though, the moment you entered, her attention doubled, eyes crinkling as she grinned. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” you said, frowning, as you followed the same routine as Levi, slinging your bag down to pick out a fresh pair of pajamas. 

“You didn’t tell me he looked like that,” Pieck muttered, the sound of her voice always tired, no matter how much sleep she got. “Zeke is going to hate him.” 

That, at least, had a sense of relief pooling inside you, a laugh spilling out. “I sure hope so.” 

She set her phone on the nightstand, laying flat on her back as you continued through your routine. Her introduction to Levi had been brief, but already, she seemed to like him well enough. 

Maybe they’d end up together, you thought dimly. Pieck had been single for a while, and you’d always thought she was much more charming than you, much prettier. Perhaps Levi would like her.

The idea put a sour taste in your mouth.

When you returned, face scrubbed, teeth clean, Pieck was nearly asleep, the lamp on her side of the bed the only source of light in the room. She glanced up at you sleepily, batting her eyes before you climbed next to her. 

“I can’t believe you,” she said softly, already half-asleep. “How can you stand it?”

“What did I do?” 

For a moment, Pieck stared at you like she didn’t know who you were. A yawn left you, even as you tried to hide it. 

“Is there something wrong with him? Is that the reason?” 

You crinkled your eyebrows together. “Levi?” A million different things ran through your head, but Pieck seemed to want an honest one. “I mean…” Was there, really? Were your speculations and assumptions enough to pass judgement on Levi Ackerman? Or were you just too intimidated by him to admit that he was much nicer than you thought. “Well, you met him, didn’t you?” 

She blinked, then laughed, slapping you with the pillow. “You’re so ridiculous. Why aren’t you together then? I mean, actually together?” Pieck hummed, tapping her hand against the pillow, before she tucked it back under her head. “You’ve got hearts in your eyes when you stare at him.”

“What?” you said, bursting into a fit of giggles. You’d thought it was a joke, but Pieck didn’t smile, didn’t even force a laugh alongside you. “I don’t — I’m not.” 

“I mean, he clearly likes you quite a bit,” she continued, smiling, “if he came all this way. He listens to you, practically hangs off your every word.” A pause. “Wish someone would look at me like that,” Pieck sighed.

You rolled your eyes. “Levi’s just like that. He’s a good listener.” Although, when it left your lips, the last few words came out slower, more uncertainly. Was he really like that? You could think of plenty of times where he’d blatantly ignored people he didn’t like, left a conversation with a snide comment if he didn’t agree with the subject.

Pieck didn’t seem to believe you, a smile tugging on her lips. “Right. A good listener like you, huh? Listening until you don’t care anymore.” She didn’t give you a chance to respond, your indignant protests enough. “It’s funny. You get so flustered you get when he teases you. I just,” she hesitated, tucking a hand under her cheek. “Well, I just didn’t expect that from you — you weren’t like that with Zeke.” 

Again, your cheeks grew hot, your entire body warm. Already, you wanted to kick the covers off, sweat pooling at the backs of your knees. “I’m — No. It’s not. . . Pieck, it’s not.” You buried your face in the pillow, frustrated, hating the grin that curled onto her lips. “Look, I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not like that. He’s just — ” You shook your head, words evading you. “I mean, you’ve seen him.”

Pieck laughed, the sound soft, raspy from exhaustion. “I’m only teasing you,” she whispered, her smile almost wistful. “I know what you mean. He’s older, he’s handsome. He probably knows what he wants.” Then her face grew serious, eyebrows drawing together. “But, I also think you’re not letting yourself admit that you’re attracted to him.” 

“Pieck,” you huffed, feeling that itch at the back of your skull, under your skin, that you couldn’t quite scratch. “I’m not. Half of the time, I’m not even sure if I enjoy his company.” 

She stared at you for a moment longer, unamused, before rolling back onto her side, facing away from you. “Whatever,” she mumbled, a dismissal, like she truly thought every word that left your lips was a denial. “I think you’re just scared after what happened with Zeke. I think you know Levi is exactly what you’ve always wanted, and you don’t think he could possibly like you.” 

You started to protest, maneuvering onto your elbows, but Pieck hushed you, flicked the lamp out. 

“Night,” she said, signifying the end of the conversation. “Just… think on it.” 

An indignant groan escaped you, as Pieck shut her eyes, her breathing evening out not a moment later. You’d always been jealous of how easily she could fall asleep, while you continued to lie awake in bed, left with nothing but your own thoughts. 

Which were certainly not, and would never be, plagued by Levi Ackerman.

Unsurprisingly, Levi had been the first one awake, sitting in the kitchen as he scrolled through his phone, a pair of wired-rimmed reading glasses perched at the edge of his nose. He was already dressed, looking unsurprisingly perfect, while your hair was disheveled, pajamas still on, eyes sleepy. 

You’d stared at him awkwardly, embarrassed by your appearance, and ignored his brief greeting before you slinked back into Pieck’s room, putting yourself together rapidly. You refused to speak to him until you were ready to leave.

Pieck was spending the rest of the weekend with her father, so you and Levi were left to your own devices for the day. You decided to take him around the town, showing him all the places you used to frequent. It was nostalgic, showcasing your city to a man who’d never been here, wouldn’t know the depth of your memories, those that were tied to a smell, a scene, a sound. 

Levi was, to your surprise, quite interested in the places that you’d been around as a child. As usual, he asked many questions, digging into your past without offering anything in return. And, as usual, you let him, all too excited to reminisce about the grade school where you’d met Eren Jaeger, the restaurant you’d always gone to with Sasha. 

It warmed you, how caring he could be — something you’d always known, but perhaps, hadn’t really paid attention to until Pieck pointed it out. Levi did seem to take everything you said to heart, store it in some memory bank with your name labeled right on it. He remembered things you hadn’t even known you’d told him, but must have, at some point. 

When it neared noon, you took him to a coffee shop that you used to study at, right around the corner from your old school. It was still the same as it had been back then, like nothing had changed at all. 

“It’s nice that you have such fond memories,” he said, and there was a small smile on his lips as the two of you entered the cafe, the smell overtaking you almost immediately. 

You laughed, shrugging. “It’s better in hindsight.” There’d been times when all you wanted to do was leave. Now, you couldn’t help but miss it. 

Levi ordered your coffees, and though you’d protested, trying to push your card in his direction, he paid for the both of them, and waited at the end of the bar while you saved a table. Once again, he’d gotten your coffee order correct, but now that you were able to read the side of his cup, you noticed it wasn’t coffee at all, but actually tea — Earl Grey, steaming, far to hot to drink when he took the lid off. 

“Are you not a coffee drinker?” you asked, and for some reason, Levi seemed surprised by the question, his eyes flashing. 

“Not really,” he admitted, his hands folded around the paper cup. “Sometimes, if I don’t get much sleep the night before, but—” Levi shrugged. “It makes my hands shake, which does nothing but irritate me.” 

You smiled, letting the words sink in. Levi didn’t seem like the type of person to dislike coffee, but he sipped at his tea slowly, huffing as you blinked back at him. 

“What’s the matter?” he asked. “It’s not a crime to dislike something, is it?”

“No,” you said, looking back down at your drink, antsy. His mouth was drawn flat, unamused as always… This time, though, you couldn’t help but admire the curve of his cupid’s bow, the plushness of his lower lip, which was such a contrast to the color of his pale cheeks. “It just surprised me, is all. You never tell me anything about yourself.” 

Levi’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “Well, you’ve didn’t ask. You never do.” 

You opened your mouth, then shut it, thinking through all the conversations you’ve had, all the questions you’ve answered, but never returned. “Usually a conversation is two-sided,” you supplied, leaning forward, accusatory. “I share things about myself, and the other person does so in return.”

Levi’s lips lifted up, nearly a smile. “I’m not really the type of person to spill my heart out unprovoked.” He took a long sip of the tea, glancing out the window at the snowy sidewalk. “If you really cared, you would ask. I won’t bother anyone with useless anecdotes about my life.”

You watched the movement of his hands as he set the cup down, fiddled with the lid beside it. “So that’s all?” you asked, unamused. “All this time, I’ve thought you were some great mystery, and you were just waiting for me to return your questions?”

Levi snorted, though there was a hint of humor in his gaze, flashing from the Christmas lights that were strung around the shop. “Don’t blame me — I’ve always been honest with you,” he supplied, matching your posture. “Maybe you’re just a poor conversationalist, and you’ve made assumptions about me that aren’t true.” Though his tone was clipped, there was still a sense of disappointment in his words. 

You let his words sink in, opening your mouth, then shutting it, silencing your protests.

Levi sighed, spinning the conversation towards your evening, rehashing the plan for any questions that might arise. Though you nodded, engaged, your mind was still on his confession, the words gnawing at you. 

It was true, you realized with disappointment. Levi had never avoided any questions you’d asked him outright, had always given you a small smile, before carefully answering. You had, really, been avoiding him — perhaps, for no reason at all. 

That evening, you arrived at the party just a few minutes after six, when Eren had told you to arrive. Many of your friends were already there, the street lined with cars that you didn’t recognize. 

Unsurprisingly, Eren was the one to answer the door, throwing it open and pulling you into a hug before you even had time to react. Your name left his lips in an excited exclamation, and you breathed in the familiarity of him, a deep-rooted nostalgia at the sight of someone you’d known for so long. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Eren said, even though it had only been a few months since you’d last gotten together, not years, like it might have felt. 

His hair was longer than when it had been when you last saw him, and he’d bulked up a bit, but otherwise, hadn’t changed. That was a comfort in itself, just like the smell of Carla and Grisha Jaeger’s house, the furniture that had been the same since you were an adolescent. 

Eren guided you through the door before glancing over your shoulder, noticing Levi for the first time. His eyes widened, green eyes electric as your name left his lips, aghast.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing someone!” Eren’s posture straightened, and suddenly, he was on his best behavior, trying hard to impress the man that you’d brought with you. 

Levi gave him a once-over, glanced over to you, and then stuck out his hand politely. “Levi Ackerman,” he said, shaking it. “You must be Eren—”

But Eren’s attention was already caught by another part of the conversation. He shook his Levi’s quickly, not bothering to answer the greeting, before saying, “Ackerman? Maybe a long-shot, but do you know my girlfriend, Mikasa?” 

Surprise flashed in Levi’s irises as he followed Eren inside, nodding. “Actually, she’s my cousin.” 

At the same time, across the room, a familiar voice shouted Levi’s name, running over to throw her arms around him. Mikasa’s body rammed against Levi’s shorter frame, and despite his strength, he let out a small puff of air, shocked, as she crashed into him. 

“Levi, what are you doing here?” Mikasa said, smiling softly, before releasing him, returning to her normal, calm self. “I had no idea you knew—” A pause, as she flicked her eyes between you, puzzling the pieces together. Her palms covered her mouth, but a sharp squeak emitted from her throat, excitement. “You two are together?” 

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to greet her, but Mikasa held you close, her perfume so familiar, hair soft against your cheek.

“What a crazy coincidence — I had no idea… Well, of course, it makes sense. You’re so perfect for each other. I can’t believe I didn’t think of introducing you earlier.” Mikasa rambled on, uncharacteristically, and even Eren seemed surprised as he darted his gaze between you. “How did you meet?” she said.

Levi sighed, perpetually put-out, and followed Mikasa to one of the couches. 

You sat with him, but stayed silent for the most part, enjoying watching them interact, smiling at the sight of him so comfortable. Levi spun the story of how you’d “ended up together,” and you offered a few nods here and there, too distracted by the revelation of their relation. 

Ackerman was a common enough name that you hadn’t even thought about it, but the more you looked at them together, the more you could see their similarities. Their quiet, but confident demeanors, intellect, and grey eyes. Even the way they spoke was a bit similar. You felt like such an idiot, and when there was a break in the conversation, you said as much. 

For once, though, Levi didn’t take it as an opportunity to tease you for your foolishness. “Truthfully,” he said, squeezing your hand gently, “I should’ve realized. I knew Mikasa had moved here recently, but I hadn’t been to see her, and I hadn’t met her boyfriend.” 

Only later did you remember how nice his hand felt in your own — those cool, pale fingers wrapped around your hand, as if he hadn’t even had to think about it. How you’d accepted them so easily, feeling warm, calm, his fingertips against your knuckles so natural.

Mikasa and Levi seemed happy to catch up, so for the next couple of hours, you made the rounds, visiting with your old friends and the people they were now seeing. Historia and Ymir, the only high school sweethearts left in your group, had even managed to show up, even though they lived the greatest distance away from home. It had been a surprise, and you’d nearly cried when you saw them, leaping away from the table, interrupting your conversation with Jean, to get to them. 

Later, you found Levi in the kitchen, a drink in his hands, as he took in the silence away from everyone. 

“Everything okay?” you asked, smiling, your entire face bright as you shuffled through the cooler for your own drink. “I didn’t mean to leave you alone, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, tipping the bottle back to his lips before setting it on the counter. “I managed to meet almost everyone anyway. They seemed pretty pleased you have a boyfriend now.” His expression was completely serious, and though his face always was, it sent another round of laughter through you, the beer you’d already drank settling in. 

“I hope you gave them a good impression.” You took the spot at the counter beside him, ignoring the softness of his eyes, the way they melted as he stared at you. 

Had that always happened, or were you just imagining it… 

No, it was definitely the beer. 

“Maybe a bad impression would be best,” Levi disagreed, running his fingers across the counter, beside the spot where you rested your hip. “That would make it easier for them to accept our break-up later on.” 

“Of course,” you teased, though the mention of the “breakup” that wouldn’t take place at all made disappointment seep into your core. Perhaps, over the course of just a few days, you’d come to enjoy Levi’s company. 

Or, maybe, you just decided to accept that you’d always enjoyed it. 

“I won’t do that, though,” he concluded. “Not when you look so happy.” 

You didn’t get the chance to contemplate that before Mikasa stuck her head through the kitchen door, calling out to get your attention. “Hey.” There was a frown on her face, and she nodded back towards the front door, pointing behind herself. “Zeke’s here. Just so you know.” 

You sucked in a breath, nodding, and Mikasa smiled sympathetically before going back to Eren.

For some reason, you were even less prepared to face Zeke than you thought you’d be.

“Okay?” Levi asked quietly. HIs eyebrows tugged up, towards one another, concerned. 

You forced a smile, and stepped away from his embrace. “I’m fine,” you said, nodding, but you weren’t able to meet Levi’s eyes, too enraptured by the panic that had begun to claw at you. “Let’s go, better to just rip the band-aid off.” 

“I’ll be out in a second.” 

Although you didn’t want to walk out alone, you left Levi, heading back to the living room, where at least you’d have the protection of your vast group of friends. You considered grabbing another beer — you needed more than just one to get through the evening, but before you could protest, Sasha had whisked you away, pulling you into some ridiculous, made-up game with Jean and Connie. 

For a while, you were able to avoid Zeke, until he’d caught you in pursuit of another drink, your laughter dying the moment your voice was called out in a tone you had never wanted to hear again.

“I didn’t think you’d actually show up.” 

You shifted, spinning around, nails digging into your palm, your jaw clenched. The sight of Zeke standing there sent a wave of nausea over you, doubly so, when you saw the woman standing next to him. 

She wasn’t the same one that you remembered with him before, the reason he’d split up with you an entire year ago. No, this one was much taller, her hair smooth and dark as it cascaded down her back. She was wearing a pair of brown, round glasses, and she was beautiful. 

“I came to see Eren,” you said, eyes flitting between Zeke and his new girlfriend. She seemed just his type. Pretty, intelligent, a sense of style to match. Anything and everything he’d claimed that you were not. “I was certainly hoping to avoid you.” 

“Yet, here we are,” Zeke smiled. He looked the same, exactly the same, as if time has done nothing but turn him into a worse version of himself. His eyes were a little more dull, another wrinkle around the corners, but that was the extent of it all. “This is my girlfriend, Cassandra.” 

Cassandra greeted you politely, spoke in a way that was much more smooth than your own voice, her back straight. Instantly, you wondered how anyone like her could fall for someone like Zeke. Yet, you supposed you had done just that, which only proved your stupidity.

Zeke attempted to make small talk, and you smiled, awkwardly, uncomfortably, as your hands began to shake at your sides. It must have been obvious, what you were to Zeke, and you felt horrible for making Cassandra endure the formalities. 

“How have you been?” Zeke asked, placing an arm around Cassandra’s shoulder to tuck her into his side. You watched the movement with disgust. “Seems like much hasn’t changed about you, has it?” 

It was low, in a way that only you and Zeke could understand — and your face was burning, hot, as you looked around the room for anyone to free you from the conversation. “I’m fine,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself, close to telling Zeke to kindly fuck off for the rest of the evening. “Actually-”

“There you are,” an arm wrapped around your own waist, a hand on your side. Calm, instantly raining down upon you. “I was wondering where you’d gone.” 

Levi kissed you on the temple, and for a moment, your brain short-circuited, questions rising up as you glanced over at him, mouth parted in surprise. But Levi wasn’t looking at you, too busy fixing Zeke with a bored expression, eyes flitting over him in judgement.

“You must be Zeke,” he said, and perhaps it was just your imagination, but you felt him squeeze your hip once, as if comforting you. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

Zeke cracked a smile. “Good things, I hope.” 

“Terrible, actually.” 

That only seemed to heighten Zeke’s amusement, and he laughed, loudly. “You must be the new boyfriend.” 

Levi glanced down at Zeke’s outstretched palm. “I am,” he said, but made no move to shake Zeke’s hand, ignoring the formalities. Instead, he guided you away from the couple. 

For a moment, you blinked, staring out at the space where your friends were congregating, unbeknownst to the interaction in the kitchen. Then, you were relaxing into Levi’s side, the smell of his cologne lingering on his sweater, soothing you.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “I could’ve avoided him. You didn’t have to kiss me.” 

Levi rolled his eyes. “That? That was nothing.” He came around to face you, eyes scanning you for any sign of sadness. “Are you okay?” 

His consideration shot warmth through every vein of your body, igniting your skin. A smile spread across your lips, and you felt dizzy with it, hating it all at the same time. “I’m okay,” you said, leaning closer, if only to remain within the space of Levi Ackerman. “I just can’t believe him. Showing up like that, and—” 

“Don’t give him the fucking time of day.” Levi shook his head, for once, his seriousness not bleeding into sarcasm. “Just enjoy your time with your friends.” 

You locked eyes with him, watched as his features turned tender, the cool blue of his irises lightening under his thick lashes. Swallowing, you nodded, looking away, and resumed your place close to Levi, remembering you were supposed to be selling the relationship, not making people question it. 

Levi squeezed your shoulder, and you went back to talking with Mikasa and Eren, even though you were distracted by the other pair of eyes that watched you from across the room.

Zeke’s gaze was all that you could feel, even though all of your friends did their best to maintain your attention, remind you that Zeke might have been there, but it didn’t matter — not when there were so many others that cared about you. 

It didn’t do much to soothe you, but your tried your best to relax, studying Levi as he spoke, the movement of his sharp jaw, the soft hair that rested over his forehead. He was wearing a soft, burgundy button-up, the sleeves tighter around his wrists, one that complemented his complexion nicely. It nearly matched your own red dress, this one a brighter shade, but still, close enough to seem as if you had planned it. 

As the evening went on, the tension drained out of you, and you began to feel more comfortable under Levi’s arm.

Fleetingly, you wondered if this was what Levi was really like in a relationship. Attentive, caring, sweet. Softer towards you only, a secret smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, even if he didn’t let it show. 

The thought sent a spiral of longing through you that you ignored, and you sighed, hating that you were constantly on edge. If not from Zeke, than from the way Levi was holding you close, his fingers grazing, caressing your sides. 

“By the way, Levi, happy birthday,” Mikasa said, a giggly mess after a few beers. “I almost forgot!” 

You made a face at Levi, your expression tied up together. “Birthday?” you asked, frowning. 

He waved you off, mumbling a thanks to Mikasa, before she walked off to find another drink, one Eren insisted she didn’t need. 

“Levi?” you said again, grabbing his pale wrist, your hand gripping the watch tightly. “It’s your birthday?” 

“Tomorrow.” Levi cringed, looking over your shoulder, like that was the last thing he wanted to discuss.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

A horrible emotion washed over you, one that was both guilt and melancholy. Levi knew your birthday. Hange had invited him when they’d made you a birthday dinner, and Levi had brought you some flowers, a gift card to your favorite store.

You’d never even bothered to ask when his birthday was. Hadn’t even thought about it. 

“I don’t really celebrate,” he shrugged, running his tongue over his cheek. 

“I’m sorry — I should’ve —” 

“Don’t.” Levi brushed your hair out of your face, shaking his head. The touch soothed you, his fingers so gentle on your temple. “It’s really okay. People are usually too busy with Christmas, and I don’t care much about it anyway.” 

You opened your mouth to protest, Levi shook his head again, smiling. “Don’t apologize. Mikasa is the only one who knows, really. Hange knows it’s in December, but I don’t like making a big deal of it.” He sighed, pinching his temple, before looking back at you. "I promise. It doesn't matter."

Still, you couldn't help but feel horrible for not realizing, for dragging him out of town for you, when it was his birthday. “I’m sorry,” you said again, heart clenching.

Levi rolled his eyes, defensive, and moved along, tugging you forward, clearly not wanting to discuss the matter any further. 

It ate at you for the rest of the evening, though, nearly distracting you from the fact that your ex-boyfriend was there at all. 

You stuck with Levi for the rest of the night, but eventually, needed to use the bathroom, hoping to get back downstairs as soon as possible. Though, your plan was undermined when you opened the door, the other side revealing Zeke, leaning against the wall. His eyes raked over your body, a mix of anger and hunger as you left the bathroom, waving your hands to dry them completely. 

“Zeke,” you said, ignoring the hammering in your heart, the way that your panic had spiked the moment you saw him. “What the fuck do you want?” 

He laughed, though it was without humor, as he pushed away from the wall, coming towards you. You felt small under his dark gaze, the way he pinned you, so much more cruelly than Levi did. “I can’t tell if you’re actually serious, or if you’re fucking with me,” Zeke said, and it took you a moment to figure out what he was referring to, his eyes hard and narrowed under the thick lenses of his glasses. “Do you really think I believe you? Believe this act that you have going on with your boyfriend?” 

You blinked back at him, momentarily at a loss for words, before you forced a laugh from your chest, spitting at him cruelly. “God, Zeke,” you said, shaking your head. “Are you so paranoid that you think I would go to that extent? I stopped caring about you a long time ago, and I’ve moved on.” You tried to push past him, blood rushing through your body; all you could think about was getting back downstairs to Levi. 

“Right,” Zeke didn’t let you get far, grabbing your wrist and jerking hard. He forced you back into the wall, your shoulder hitting it with a thump. “I know you’re still not over me. You haven’t been, and we’d both be better off if you could admit that to yourself.” 

You glared, prying his grip off, even if he wouldn’t let go. “Leave me alone, Zeke. I’ve never regretted anything as much as I regret you.” 

“Please,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes, grazing them all over your face. Zeke had never been a good listener, had never seen eye to to eye with you, but he sure pretended to. “You wanted me for years. You loved me.” 

“Maybe at some point. Not anymore.” you said through gritted teeth, tugging again, desperate almost. But Zeke didn’t let you free, his grip harder, bruising your skin. “Zeke. Get off of me. I don’t want to talk to you.” 

That subtle remark served to do nothing but make him angrier. His features contorted, shoving you backwards so you were pressed against him, his knees brushing your thighs.

A flash of fear went through you, and though you didn’t want to seem like a coward, didn’t want to scream for anyone in the house to help you, you considered it. Zeke towered over you, his breath fanning over your cheeks, thumbs grazing your jaw. “I’m not an idiot,” he said, smiling, that same saccharine grin he’d given you when you were together. “I know that man downstairs isn’t really in love with you.” 

“What makes your so sure that you’re right about that?” 

That seemed the question he had been dying to answer all evening.

“Oh, it’s easy to spot, really. Just look at you,” Zeke said. “You were nothing without me, and you’re nothing still.” He laughed, loud and cruel, finally stepping away, giving you an escape route. “No one wanted you before, and no one wants you now… Especially not now that I’ve ruined you.” He shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets, a dismissal. “And it was so easy to do.”  

Tears sprang to your eyes; breaths left you, stuttered exhales that were more than forced. “I hate you.” 

“Why?” Zeke asked, curious. “I did you a favor.”

You stared at him, wondering how he could possibly believe himself to be so benevolent, to have saved you from some existence that would have been miserable, without the divine lesson he’d bestowed upon you. Though, it wasn’t long before you realized that he was taunting you, trying his best to make an embarrassment of you, laughing at the way the tears had flooded your eyes so easily.

You rushed down the stairs, holding back your sobs.

As your feet touched the bottom step, you collided with another body, turning the corner, too off-kilter to recognize who it was. “Sorry,” you said, the word coming out soft, weak. “I’m sorry, I have to—”

“Hey.” Levi’s soothing voice washed over you, his hands on your shoulders snapping you out of your distress. At first, he hadn’t realized that you were crying, the tears hidden by the palms that covered your eyes. Gently, Levi pried them away, taking your wrists in his hands, staring at you with a severe expression. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” 

“I’m fine. I’m fine,” you said, wiping at your face furiously; Levi was unconvinced. “I just… ran into Zeke upstairs, that's all.” 

That soured his mood immediately, expression turning cold, a glare overtaking it as he understood. “Fucking asshole,” Levi ground out, teeth clenching together. “What did he say to you?”

“Levi, I said I’m fine.” But your glossy eyes revealed the opposite, the tears leaking from the corners of them only exacerbating the fact that Zeke had said something cruel. “Leave it alone.”

“Did he hurt you?” Navy eyes flicked all over your face, narrowing in concern. “What did he say, love?” It slipped from his lips, without thinking.

You stared back at him, frozen, hesitant. That sort of softness was one you’d never heard from Levi before, had never seen him so furious, yet so worried. It seemed every emotion that he had tucked away was bleeding onto his face, and you leaned into his touch, let him examine your wrists. A red ring was around it from Zeke’s heavy hand. 

“I’m okay,” you promised, barely a whisper, taking your wrists back to hide them by your sides. Your lip quivered, and you looked away from Levi's concern as new wave of tears rushed over you, warming your body with despair. “He just doesn’t believe that we’re together. Said that you’d never love someone like me, anyway. That Zeke ruined me.” You shrugged, rubbing your elbows. “The usual.” 

Levi clenched his fists, pushing past you. “Fuck.”

You could see the anger spelled out all over his expression, as he began his ascent up the stairs, feet heavy, infuriated. 

You clutched at his sleeve. “Levi, stop. Just let it go.” 

“I’m not going to let him fucking talk to you like that!” he said, and it was, nearly, the most emotion you’d ever seen out of Levi, his hands practically shaking at his sides. “He can’t just — ”

Levi grit his teeth, then shook you off, taking long strides to get to Zeke, who was leaving the bathroom just as you arrived. Although the smarter part of your brain nudged at you to stop Levi, you couldn’t help but let him play out his anger, wanting to see the look on Zeke’s face when he approached him. 

The loud steps against the stairs gathered your ex-boyfriend's attention, and Zeke smiled, looking down at Levi from under his glasses, amused. Though, he didn’t get a chance to say a word before Levi had tugged him by the shirt, forced him against the wall, his gaze hard, almost scary.

Levi’s strength was almost surprising, had you not already known, but Zeke hadn’t. He glanced at Levi, then you, wide-eyed, before recovering smoothly. “Sent your guard dog after me, did you?” he asked you, a dull expression on his face. 

“Don’t talk to her.” Levi snapped Zeke’s head back against the wall, forcing the taller man to look at him. “You may think you’re better than you are, but I don’t. You’re a piece of shit, and you never deserved her.” Levi said, eyes pinched, the words calm, even more serious than if he’d been shouting them. "Just stay the hell away."

“Really?” Zeke said, a smile curving onto his lips. “Or what?” 

Levi stared for a minute longer, contemplative, and you sucked in a breath, wiping your eyes. You hardly registered the movement of Mikasa, who had rushed up the stairs, wrapping you up in her arms, whispering something to you that you didn't comprehend. 

Before either of you could react, Levi had swung, hit Zeke square in the nose, blood trickling down not a moment later. When the blond man tried to react, swinging aimlessly, Levi ducked, and grabbed at Zeke's arm, forcing a knee into his stomach. 

Zeke coughed and keeled, muttering a silent, “shit,” and a few other expletives, but not making any moves to swing again.

After he released him, Levi flexed his hand, looking over his shoulder to see you staring at him, Mikasa holding you tightly. He exhaled, sniffed back his anger, and turned.

“Levi—” you started, but he said nothing, pushing past you, his fingers running through his hair as he made his way down the stairs. 

Mikasa whispered something else to you, but you wiggled out of her arms, ignoring her, as you followed after Levi. Your tears had dried, but they had, nonetheless, been obvious to everyone, who seemed to know exactly what had been going on when you walked downstairs. 

Still, you didn’t meet any of their eyes, frowning, as you pushed open the door. You ignored the fact that it was below freezing outside, and you were in nothing but a jacket, when you found Levi, drawn to him light a magnet. 

Flurries of snow rained down, dusting the top of Levi’s head, like little crystals against his dark hair. It was much quieter, away from the chatter, and the music, the night calm and serene, wrapping you in a blanket of comfort. 

“Levi?” you said, approaching him quietly, shivering in the brisk air. It had snowed much more than you'd thought in the past few hours, coating the ground, painting a scene so perfect for Christmas Eve. Crystals of ice hung off the edge of the railing, the wind whipping the flurries around in a swirl. 

Levi glanced over his shoulder, but said nothing for a moment, his breath coming out in a cold puff of air. Slowly, you came up beside him, watched as his cheeks began to tinge red from the wintery air, his hair brushing across his forehead from the wind. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, blinking at the scene in front of him, as he leaned against the icy railing of the balcony. “That was a stupid thing to do. I embarrassed you in front of all of your friends.”

You paused, before a small laugh erupted from you. “Embarrassed?” you smiled, pulling on his forearm to guide his attention back to you. “Levi, no one cares. Truthfully, I’m grateful,” you admitted, retracting your hand, swallowing. “I never would’ve had the courage to do it myself.” 

Levi’s eyes flashed, and he glanced over at you, conflicted. Christmas lights shimmered against the snow, dulled only by the darkness that lingered above you.

“Regardless,” he muttered, fixated on the wave of red and green. His lashes were coated in droplets of white, and your voice caught in your throat. He’d never looked so beautiful. “That was immature. I’m not — We’re not even really together.”

You laughed, the sound light and airy. “Well, surely Zeke believes us now. I think you’ve done enough to sell it, haven’t you?” 

Levi sighed, dropping his gaze to the railing, his shoulders falling. “I suppose.”

Still, there was tension between you, and your stiff joke did little to diffuse it. You ran your hands up and down your own arms, feeling the goosebumps beneath them, trying to force your attention away from how cold you were.

“Zeke deserved it,” you said, quietly, shaking your head, eyebrows knit together. "You shouldn't feel bad."

“I know,” whispered back, just another exhaled of the wind. Levi didn’t move, didn’t bother to look at you, despite the fact that you were desperate to read any twitch of his expression, to get him to reveal what he was thinking. 

Finally, after far too long, he glanced over, raked his eyes across your figure, the frozen posture that your body had turned to, the confusion all over your face. He frowned, dismissive. “We should go inside. You’re freezing.”

“I’m okay.” 

“No—”

“Levi,” you said once more, halting him, a frowning permeating your lips. “Why did you do it?” 

His face twitched. “Zeke? I told you, he has no right to—”

“No, no. Not that,” you waved him off, crossing your arms to hold them tightly to his chest. “I mean... Well, I suppose that too, but why did you come? Why would you choose to spend your birthday here, with me, of all places? Why do you even pretend to like me at all?” 

Levi stared back, slowly blinking, his eyes wide, startled. Then, he started laughing, and for the first time, it was genuine. The sound left him deeply, amused, by your question.

And though, you didn’t understand, had no idea what was so funny about the sentiment, you couldn’t help but feel the warmth of his humor all the way down to your toes, the sound a battle against the brisk cold that slapped against you. 

“You think I don’t like you?” Levi asked, shaking his head, laughs subsiding to a small smile. 

“Well,” you said, defensive, sniffing. “Yeah. I’ve always thought that.” 

“And? What do you think now?” 

You remembered the small smiles you had shared, secrets almost. The way he talked with all of your friends, made an effort to see the beauty in the home you’d grown up in. The way he listened to you, took in your words and remembered them for later. 

You shrugged, though it was half-hearted. “I don’t know.” 

Silence fell between you, before Levi had cupped your jaw, tracing the softness of your cheeks, the hollow beneath the bone. His eyes held a sadness you didn’t understand, before he had looked past you, to the house next door, the one beyond that, and the one beyond that. 

“Hange said you had no idea. I thought I’d been fairly obvious about it, all this time, but maybe I’m oblivious myself.” 

“Levi,” you began, frustrated, confused by the way he touched you so gently, the way his sarcasm had subsided, and nothing remained but the gentleness between you. “I don’t—”

“I’m in love with you.” 

A pause.

Another.

Slowly, your jaw fell slack. Your eyes grew wide, and you swallowed, as the sentence repeated over and over in your mind, until you could make sense of it. 

Levi stepped away, clenching his jaw as he turned you, only his side profile visible. “I have been for quite a while. Hange was the one who pointed it out, and I realized…” He sighed. “Well, I realized they were right. I love you, and I thought that, maybe, if I pretended to be your boyfriend, you’d see I’m not as bad as you think. I didn’t care about spending my birthday at home because I want to be around you — I want to be around you, as often as I can. Perhaps, I'm a complete fool for that, but...” He trailed off, and though his eyes had hardened, not revealing any of the misery he felt, you could see it. 

“Levi…” 

“I just hope you know that whatever Zeke has planted in your mind, it isn’t true,” Levi spat, clenching his teeth. “You’re not unloveable. God, you were so easy to fall in love with, and I had no idea, that all this time, you’ve been thinking otherwise.” He sniffed, caught between sorrow and fury. “I would never have told you how I felt, but it doesn’t matter, anyway. As long as you know that what he says isn't true.” 

You were still whirling from the confession, but Levi had already begun to walk off, trudging off into the house.

“Levi, wait,” you said, grasping at his arm before he could go back inside, get too far away from you. Your head was spinning, and you couldn’t think, couldn’t hear anything besides the words I’m in love with you.

And though he was frustrated, and a culmination of many other things, Levi did as you said, because he loved you; because he loved you, and he listened to you, and you had a hold over him. 

Levi stopped, looking back at you, breathing deeply, waiting.

“I—” you began, but the words died there, because Levi looked so pretty with snowflakes on his lashes, and you thought of all the questions you’d never ask, and the fact that all this time, you’d wanted Levi… even if you’d been to scared to admit it. 

You kissed him.

Your lips pressed against his, and though he was caught off-guard, eyes wide, he fell into it instantly, arms coming around your back to hold you close. Levi kissed you with a passion that Zeke never had, grabbing at your body like a lifeline, desperate and adoring.

Levi tasted of peppermint, smelled like tea, and felt like a home you hadn’t known since you’d been back here. Something clicked into place, your mind shifting, and your hands fisted in the back of his coat, holding onto him tight. 

“You love me?” you asked in a small voice, eyes glossy from a sort of happiness you hadn’t felt in years. 

Levi smiled down at you, his expression bright, the corners of his eyes crinkling. He traced your jaw, kissed your forehead, your nose, your cheeks. “I love you.” Another lingering kiss on your lips. “I’d spend all of my life showing you, if you’d let me; getting rid of all those lies Zeke planted in your head." Levi inhaled, rested his head against your own gently. 

“I thought you didn’t like to date," you said, closing your eyes.

He huffed out a laugh. “I don’t.” 

“Are there other women?” 

“What?” Levi shook his head, amused, when you finally pried your eyes back open. You wondered if you’d ever seen him so happy; if you’d ever seen him happy at all. If, maybe, you could keep him happy forever. “No, I’m — Is that what you’ve thought of me all this time?” 

Embarrassed, you dipped your head to his shoulder, warming yourself up in his embrace. He took that as yes for an answer. 

“I’m not interested in dating, and I really haven’t been with many people before, contrary to what you believe,” he teased, running his fingers along your spine. “Certainly, not since I met you. Does that answer suffice?” 

You ran your hands against his chest, kissing his collarbone, his neck, then along his jaw, letting every ounce of your affection seep into it. “I don’t want you to see anyone else,” you admitted, looking at him from under your lashes, remembering exactly what Zeke had done to you, at exactly the same time that he did. 

“I won’t, my love,” Levi swore, kissing you once more, sweet and wonderful in the snowy Christmas Eve. 

"And, maybe," you began shyly, playing with the buttons of his deep maroon shirt. "We can start fresh tomorrow. I don't know enough about you, Levi Ackerman," you said, frowning, a wrinkle forming between your eye. "But I'd like to."

Levi relaxed, shifting into a version of himself that so few would ever get to see, sweet and caring, with eyes so soft. He smiled. "I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday."

જ⁀➴ REBLOGS APPRECIATED !

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #xoxo rylie 💌 ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ #levi ackerman x y/n angst #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman x y/n #levi ackerman x fem!reader #levi imagine #levi headcanons #levi drabble #aot x female reader #aot x reader #aot x you #snk x reader #snk x you #snk x y/n #attack on titan x female reader #attack on titan fanfiction

[vaspider]

Okay so someone shared this link on the server for the Chronicles of Darkness game I've been running since 2020 and I looked at the link and went 'yeah right' and then I read the article and went 'hunh' and then I watched the first three episodes of 'Knuckles,' which didn't take long because each episode is about half an hour long, and actually I fucking cried my eyes out at the big fight that is referenced because like... it's ... good, actually?

The show is very silly, and a lot of the humor is very childish, which makes a lot of sense, right, because it's about a fucking video game, but, at least so far, it's an extremely sincere show.

The siblings in this show act like highly exaggerated siblings. Of course adults wouldn't act like this, but it doesn't matter, because that's not really who the show is for. The show is for kids. It's goofy. The heart of sibling rivalry is there. The heart of hurting over a parent who abandoned you is there. The heart of a parent missing a family tradition is there.

The jokes that are made are made with love for Jewishness. Whoever made the food jokes has eaten a lot of gefilte fish and matzoh ball soup. Whoever wrote the episode understands how important it is that nothing puts out the Shabbat candles. Whoever wrote the episode understands the importance of minhagim -- the traditions that are unique to your family, to your synagogue, whatever.

Clearly they're not shomer Shabbos because their traditions include watching movies after Shabbat dinner, but that's not presented as them being Bad Jews -- it's just their family tradition, and that's just how it is.

Mom's bracha for the candles has the 'Adenoy' pronunciation which is so very New York Older Ashkenazi Jewish that it made my heart ache and made me powerfully homesick for the East Coast, since so many of the older people at my old shul used that specific pronunciation.

The fact that they literally centered a pair of Shabbas candles (with what are clearly kosher candles burning!!) in the fight, and the entire fight revolves around those candles? It just hit me right in the middle of the chest.

There's a difference between a show being silly and a show being insincere, and Knuckles is silly but it's not insincere. I will fully admit that I watched the first three episodes to get to the episode entitled The Shabbat Dinner, but you know... I might just finish the series? It's got heart, and all of the actors are clearly having such a good time. It's one of those projects that I refer to as a Summer Camp Show/Movie, where everybody's getting a nice paycheck and having a very good time and not taking themselves too seriously.

Plus, Christopher Lloyd made me laugh until I choked.

#jumblr #judaism #jewish #shabbat dinner #sonic the hedgehog #knuckles the echidna #knuckles series #knuckles show

[fwckriley]

I've read lots of fanfics and headcanons about Ghost with partners who are usually kind, pure, like a angel, all flowers and butterflies and stuff etc. I get it, but no offense, and looking at it from another perspective, when you think about people who have experienced childhood trauma, they tend to repeat certain patterns. I'm not saying that every person with a traumatic past will have a toxic relationship.

But, you see: I personally believe that Ghost would never give a chance to someone he deems "perfect," innocent, pure, because that's completely opposite to how he sees himself. How could he be in a relationship with someone so different from him? How could he be understood by someone who doesn't have a certain darkness within? I'm not saying it wouldn't work, but I think a part of him would never fully reveal itself out of fear of being judged. On the other hand, I believe he would also seek out people who, in some way, are unattainable, to reaffirm that little voice inside him saying he doesn't deserve to be loved. Of course, none of this is really true, but that's how the mind of someone with many traumas tends to work.

I think he would avoid relationships and commitments for a long time, and wouldn't be able to choose someone outside of his field of work. "Normal" people could never understand the things he does, they could try, but never fully comprehend. In my opinion, he would fall in love, without realizing it, with someone from his field of work, probably a teammate with whom he shared many experiences. Someone with whom he has a deep connection. And, as I mentioned at the beginning, I believe he would unconsciously seek out more complex people. I see him attracted to people with a similar outlook on life, who are tougher and more realistic. Who share a darker sense of humor. Who have also experienced some kind of trauma in the past, so they can understand how he feels. I imagine him in a relationship with someone who has these characteristics, and unlike him, is ambiverted or extroverted. Someone who challenges him, calls him out when he's wrong, or is determined. Someone honest, but not rude. Someone funny, smart, creative. Someone with a thirst for adventure and a spark, to contrast with some parts of him.

But honestly, I can't picture him with someone he deems pure and perfect. He doesn't feel worthy or even attracted to that. He tends to surround himself with people who are similar to him because that's where he feels comfortable. Just to clarify, it doesn't necessarily mean that this partner in question would be a bad or toxic person, but simply someone similar to him. I believe Price is the best example of that, who is good but not innocent, not entirely right.

In the end, I think the relationship with the chosen person would be a challenging but functional one. Not toxic, not abusive or destructive, just difficult. Traumatized people are human and fully capable of relating to each other, but it takes patience and determination, and a lot of work. I think that over time, they would improve greatly. Because Ghost's biggest fear is one-sidedness. He needs to know that he is protecting and helping, but he also needs to feel protected and helped.

#modern warfare 2 #modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley headcanons #call of duty mw2 #simon riley x y/n #cod imagine #call of duty #cod x reader #ghost cod #ghost x reader #simon riley headcanons

[theemissuniverse]

“TROUBLED HEARTS” LIU KANG X SORCERER FEM!READER

SUMMARY : You are Quan Chi’s daughter. A powerful Cambion (half human/half demon) sorcerer. After you find out your father killed your mother, you join Earthrealm’s side. Liu Kang wins the Mortal Kombat tournament. This is two weeks after the tournament

A/N : “havent I seen this before???” Yes. This was originally with my OC Mal but I’m making it to a reader now because well, it’s gonna do better if I make it into a reader

A/N : THIS WAS SO ANNOYING TO WRITE IN SECOND PERSON. Y’ALL BETTER LIKE THIS UP (there may be mistakes bc I literally had to rewrite this)

WARNINGS : (MDNI), praise, f receiving oral, fingering, probably some other stuff I forgot

MASTERLIST

A lot of people questioned why Liu Kang was in love with you. A lot. You were polar opposites. Liu Kang was humble while you were cocky. Liu Kang was nice while you were cold. Liu Kang didn’t exactly have a sense of humor and you were one of the funniest people anyone could ever know.

Liu Kang couldn’t describe the connection he had with you. It was like everything with you made sense. It was also very obvious because Liu Kang always treated you with love and care (even though you didn’t need it.) All felt right in the world when he was surrounded by you.

Not only were you polar opposites, you came from different worlds. You were Quan Chi’s daughter. A Cambion (half human and half demon) who was a powerful sorcerer. You first met when you were sent on a mission to kill Liu Kang.

Kung Lao could see the puppy dog eyes on his friend’s face and couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He was annoyed that Liu Kang hadn’t made a proper move on you yet. “She’s literally standing right over there.”

You were at the temple, helping train someone. You had been on Earthrealm’s side since the tournament and you finding out that Quan Chi killed your mother. You typically helped trained people since you were the most skilled fighter.

You were also injured from the fight you had with your own father. You were weaker than you once were so you had to be careful with fighting.

Now that you were here Liu Kang had the perfect opportunity and he was blowing it which made Kung Lao irritated to no end. “You guys haven’t had a normal conversation since the tournament ended.”

Liu Kang thought it was best to keep his distance. It wasn’t because he was ashamed of his feelings. He more so just thought that you wouldn’t feel the same way and he didn’t want to go through that heartbreak. “What do you want me to do Kung Lao?”

“I don’t know? Do something about it! I’m sick of you moping around here.”

Liu Kang just sighed. “I don’t want to ruin what friendship we have.”

That’s when an idea popped in Kung Lao’s mind. He smirked at the thought of it. “You’re right.” He tapped Liu Kang’s chest. “It probably wouldn’t work out between the two of you anyway.”

Liu Kang did not expect this. In fact, he was confused. Kung Lao was just begging for Liu Kang to “make a move” and all the sudden the idea was shot down like that. “What do you…”

He couldn’t even finish his sentence because Kung Lao was already walking towards you. You had finished training with the woman. “Not better than me but you know - you still kicked ass.”

The woman who was used to your comments rolled her eyes. “Thanks, (Y/N).”

She walked away. You dapped your forehead with the towel looking for sweat when you had seen Kung Lao walk over to you. “If you’re coming over to train - I will kick your ass.”

Kung Lao chuckled. After the tournament, the two of you had became really good friends so it was normal for you to joke around like this. “Please. You could not beat me if you tried.”

“Watch out, Lao. That pride will get you in trouble.”

Liu Kang watched as the two of you shared a laugh. He raised a brow. He didn’t understand what Kung Lao’s intentions were but he was going to find out. He made sure to come closer to them but not too close where he could be detected.

“Pride is my biggest strength.” Kung Lao looked you up and down, making it very obvious he was checking you out. “I feel that it is yours too.”

You noticed but did not say anything. If it was anybody that you had liked - for example - Liu Kang - you would have instantly flirted but you did not view Kung Lao romantically. Sure, he was an attractive man. A very attractive man but he was not the man for you. “You felt right.” You started to walk towards the bench so you could get a sip of your water. “As much joy your company brings me…” You spoke with sarcasm. “You did not come here to talk about Kombat.”

Kung Lao pulled off his smirk. “I like direct women. All right. I feel as though we have not gotten a chance to catch up since the end of the tournament.”

You would be lying if you said you weren’t intrigued by this statement. Kung Lao had confidence, yes but he was never really the type to out right flirt with a woman. Not unless Johnny Cage was possessing him. “Oh? And why would you like to catch up?”

“Isn’t it obvious what I’m asking?”

“I like direct men.” You threw back in his face. You were interested. Not in him but the way Kung Lao was going about this. Something had just felt off. “So spit it out.”

“I like you. You’re one of the most powerful women I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful, smart and are the only one that can match my wit. Friends doesn’t feel enough with you.”

Liu Kang gritted his teeth. He knew what Kung Lao was doing. Liu Kang was a patient man. A very patient man. Not only that but it was very hard to invoke jealousy within him. Very hard.

Not with you though. Maybe it was because he thought deep down with his flirtatious nature that you would want Kung Lao.

It just made him mad because Kung Lao was like a brother to him.

You tilted your head. A quick scoff left your mouth. Not only were you uninterested - you were also upset. From the very moment you had met Liu Kang, all you had done was flirt with the man. All that effort you put into him and his best friend decides to make a move on you?

“You? Kung Lao? Want me? The woman you haven’t even showed the slightest bit of interest to until recently? Me?” You took a couple step towards him. “Scratch that. You believe that you - Kung Lao - are worthy enough to even get with someone like me?” A laugh erupted from you. “You are even lucky you are breathing the same air as me.”

Kung Lao wasn’t going to back down though. Not until Liu Kang manned up and stopped him. “Fight for it.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. “Fight for it?”

“You win, I’ll leave you alone about it. I win, you have to let me take you on a date.”

The proposition made Liu Kang’s eyes light up. No. You were already weak. Yes, you were in shape to train with people that did not know Kombat. Kung Lao was skilled in Kombat meaning he could actually injure you.

It wasn’t even about Kung Lao flirting with you anymore. It was about your safety. Liu Kang quickly stepped in.

“Fight? Absolutely not.”

You turned to the new voice in the conversation. Liu Kang. He had been avoiding you for some time now which made you completely annoyed. You had no interest to deal with him right now. “Were you listening in on our conversation?”

Kung Lao started to chime and when he turned to his friend. “Yes, Liu Kang. Were you?”

Liu Kang rolled his eyes slightly before responding, ignoring it. “Your father weakened you. The fight is not on the same playing field. You could get hurt.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes. “Relax Liu-Liu. I’m a powerful sorcerer. I got this.” You turned back to Kung Lao. “Let’s do this.”

Kung Lao smirked. The two of you got into your fighting positions. Liu Kang shook his head, knowing this was a dumb idea.

You threw the first punch. Kung Lao blocked it with ease. Kung Lao threw the second but you had also blocked it with ease. The pattern continues until you did a spin kick, kicking him in the stomach. He doesn’t knock down to the ground.

You motion your hands for Kung Lao to come at you. Kung Lao jumps when you tried to leg sweep him. He goes to kick you but you do a backflip to dodge it. You hit Kung Lao in the chest but he hits you back, knocking you on your back.

You hissed in pain. Liu Kang shook his head. “Alright. You two made your point.”

“I didn’t concede.” You got back up quickly. This time Kung Lao makes it a point to motion for you to come at him.

You try to kick him. He quickly catches your leg and throws you. You do a flip in the air and lands on your feet. The two of you go punch for punch, blocking. That was until you smacked Kung Lao across the face, so hard that his nose started to bleed.

Kung Lao felt his nose. You smirked at him. He then took his hat off. You knew that now he would use the hat as his weapon. “Kung Lao…” Liu Kang warns.

He doesn’t listen. He tried to jab you with it. You dodged it. He did it again and you quickly dodged. He tried to sweep your feet with it but you jumped over it. That’s when he went for your stomach. He slightly sliced your chest and pushed you to the ground.

“Stop!” Liu Kang yelled.

Kung Lao held the hat to her chin and made you look at him. “Say it.”

You hated that he had won but you didn’t have anymore fight in you. Liu Kang was right. You were weak. “I concede.”

Kung Lao lowered the hat. “By the Elder Gods.” Liu Kang mumbled and went to your side. “Are you alright?”

You cracked your neck as if you didn’t receive a scratch on you. “I’m fine, Liu Kang.”

“Let me see.” Liu Kang lifted your shirt slightly. A big slash was on your chest. He angrily turned to Kung Lao. “I told you to stop.”

Kung Lao rolled his eyes at Liu Kang’s reaction (even though this is what he wanted.) “She’s the most powerful sorcerer. She’ll be fine.” He turned to you. “And looks like you owe me a date.”

“I guess so…” You mumbled before standing up from the ground.

Liu Kang was beyond mad. Was he annoyed about Kung Lao flirting with you? Very much. All that flew out the window when you got hurt. Not only that but Kung Lao had zero feelings for you so he was just toying with you. For what? For Liu Kang to admit his feelings for you?

“Are you out your mind?” Liu Kang questioned him. “She is not fully healed yet. Now, you delayed her to heal more. For what? To go on a date with a woman you don’t even want to have?”

You raised an eyebrow at what Liu Kang said. You were confused. What was he exactly talking about?

Kung also wasn’t mad. This was all part of his plan. He had to play like he was though. “Oh, because you seem to care about her. Haven’t you been ignoring her for weeks?”

“That is not the point.”

“It is, Liu Kang. I don’t understand why you care so much. Explain to me - no - explain to the both of us why you care so much.”

Liu Kang took in a deep breath. He was usually a patient man. A man that didn’t get so easily bothered but the overwhelming feeling of love was suffocating his heart. He loved you. This was more than being the persona of the “humble easy going monk.” “I won’t let you mess with her feelings.”

“I won’t if you say it.”

You waved your hand as if you were in a classroom. “Um! Hello! Standing right here!”

Liu Kang glared at him Kung Lao. How dare he try to get him to admit his feelings on his time? “No.”

“Say it.” Kung Lao demanded.

Liu Kang looked at Kung Lao then at you. You looked beyond confused and you were about to be even more confused. Instead of saying anything, Liu Kang cupped your face and kissed you.

You stood there in absolute shock. Kung Lao’s eyes had widen. He definitely wasn’t expecting that. Liu Kang quickly pulled away. Kung Lao smirked before crossing his arms. “Or you can do that.”

You looked between the two men. “Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on.”

No turning back now. “Kung Lao asked you on a date to get me to confess my feelings for you.”

“Annnd it worked. I am a genius. Sorry about the scratch (Y/N). I’ll leave you two to it.” Kung Lao started to walk away. He turned around like he remembered something. “Oh and (Y/N). I wouldn’t date you if you were the last woman on Earth.”

You flipped him off and he laughed. Kung Lao finally walked away and Liu Kang signed. “Come here.” He took your hand and led you all the way to his room. He helped you sit on the bed.

Liu Kang got his medic supplies and walked back over to you. “Lift up your shirt.”

“Do I have to lift it up or is Kung Lao going to come up with a ridiculous plan to convince me to take off the shirt?”

Liu Kang felt guilt in his bones. He did not want you to find out his feelings for you the way you did. Not at all. You deserved better than that. Liu Kang sat on the bed. “I’m sorry about all this…Kung Lao had no right to manipulate your feelings.”

It was at that moment you let out a laugh. “Me? Feelings for Kung Lao? Not even in an alternate timeline. I’m so glad I don’t have to go on a date with him.”

Liu Kang did feel relieved that you had no feelings for Kung Lao. You just took off her shirt instead of lifting it up. You were the most attractive woman he had ever met.

He started to treat your wound. Silence filled the air. Even though you were relieved the date with Kung Lao wasn’t real, she was still pissed off about one thing. “Why didn’t you man up and tell me you had feelings for me before?”

Here the conversation was going. The talk Liu Kang was dreading about. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I thought if I confessed my feelings for you…you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

You understood. You too, despite your sarcastic quips, appreciated the friendship you had with Liu Kang and you didn’t want to take it away. “I come with a lot of baggage, Liu. Daughter of Quan Chi. Half demon and half human. Mad all the time. I mean in Kitana’s words I’m Earthrealms biggest problem.”

It was no secret that Kitana and you didn’t get along. Nobody really understood why but it was clear that the two of you didn’t like each other’s character.

The mention of Kitana made Liu Kang sigh. “Kitana does not know you like I know you. I love everything about you. All parts. Even the dark ones.” He cups your face, wanting you to take in everything he was saying. “There is not a line in the world that I wouldn’t cross for you. Not a time in your life I would not be there for you. Not a thing in this universe that can pull me away from you. You have been there for me when I could not be there for myself and I cherish that. I cherish all parts about you.”

Growing up in the Netherrealm and Earthrealm switching between both worlds, you hadn’t got much love. Ever. You were so scared of love. That it would ruin you. The way Liu Kang spoke sounded like he had all the love for you in the world. And that made up for everything.

It took a lot for you to cry. A lot. Somehow tears were falling down your face. “Are you trying to get me to fall in love with you? Because it’s working.”

Liu Kang chuckled a little. He gently wiped away your tears. “Love is kind, love is not selfish. It is beautiful. Love is not cowardice or cruel. Love is the very thing in the universe that binds you to that person. I want to be your person.”

Anything that came out of Liu Kang’s mouth, he made it sound good. “I want you to be my person too.”

Liu Kang’s eyes darted down to your lips. He licked his lips. He wanted nothing more than to taste your lips. Give in to it.

You decided to make the first move. You cupped the left side of Liu Kang’s face and kissed him. Liu Kang didn’t hesitate to kiss you back. It was like paradise. True and utter paradise.

You moved your lips in sync with each other. The kiss easily started to turn more sloppy but the passion was still there. You pushed Liu Kang lightly on the bed which he accepted. You got on top of him and began kissing all over his neck. Liu Kang moaned slightly at this. He shouldn’t have been shocked at how fast things were heating up. This was you.

He wanted to continue. He truly did but you were injured. “(Y/N), you’re still injured.”

Tou pulled away from his neck and looked at him directly in his eyes. “Which is precisely why I need a reward for all the bullshit I’ve been dealing with.” Your hands started to travel down to his black sweats. You started to rub him through the pants. “And I like this reward.”

Liu Kang didn’t think he would get used to her straightforwardness. You quickly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Then at least lay back and let me do all the work.”

“Fine. Take the fun out of it.” You flopped on his bed dramatically causing Liu Kang to let out a chuckle.

It wasn’t just because of your injury. He just wanted to please you. He got on top of you and unbuttoned your pants before pulling them down. Next to go was your underwear.

You were not expecting for Liu Kang to go in between your legs and start sucking your clit. You gasped at the the sudden pressure and tilted your head back.

Unfortunately, because you were so dominant you had never gotten the pleasure of getting eaten out. Not in your 2,000 years of living. So, this was a new experience with you. It also put you into a different position. A submissive one.

Liu Kang held your thighs tightly in place so you wouldn’t run away. He continued to devour your pussy like it was his favorite desert. Like it was made for him.

“Oh my fucking god. Yes. Yes. Oh god. Liu.”

It only made him work harder knowing he was pleasing you. He continued to suck your sensitive bud until you started to pull on his hair. He liked it but he took it as a sign that you needed a break from him sucking so he pulled away for a moment. He used his two fingers to start rolling your clit in circles in a certain speed.

“Oh shit. Oh my fucking god.”

Liu Kang gently kissed your breasts that fitted tightly in your bra. “You look so good like this, my love.” You were actually embarrassed by how submissive you felt. You started to cover your face. He quickly pushed your hands away with the hand that was free. “Don’t cover yourself. I want to see the most beautiful woman in the world cum on my fingers.”

Oh. My. God. Where the hell did this Liu Kang come from? You moaned at his words and cupped your breasts out of instinct. “Fuck, yes.”

Liu Kang rubbed in harsher and harsher circles knowing you could take it. He watched her as she fell apart on his bed. He felt his dick grow in his sweat pants and he practically thanked himself for wearing sweats instead of pants.

You felt yourself about to come undone. How the hell were you already about to cum? Usually it took you thirty minutes. An hour tops. “Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m about to cum.”

Liu Kang didn’t dare change his pace. “That’s it. You’re almost there.”

You tried to pull Liu Kang’s away. “I want to cum with you inside of me.”

Liu Kang couldn’t help but chuckle as he kissed you neck. He didn’t move his fingers from playing with her your. “Darling, you act like we can’t keep going after you cum right now.”

Because you stopped it slightly, your high had slowed up. “Oh my god. I’m so close.” You gripped Liu Kang’s arm for support.

“Breathe in and out.” He told you. “I got you.” He felt you dig into his arms with your nails. He loved the pain.

You listened to Liu Kang and breathed in and out. Your pleasure was overwhelming. You had never felt like this before and especially never this fast. “Fuck. Please. Please. Don’t stop.”

“You can do it. I know you can. Give it to me, my love.”

Liu Kang’s words edged you to the point of no return. “Oh yes. Liu Kang. Liu. Yes. I’m cumming. Fuck.”

Liu Kang felt your clit move and more juices flowed on fingers. He rode your orgasm out until you couldn’t anymore. Then he placed the fingers in his mouth and tasted you. “I did not know you were so nasty.” You told him.

He laughed a little at her words. “Did you enjoy it?”

“Enjoy it? Oh my god. No one has ever got me to cum that fast.”

Liu Kang smiled at you. “I’m glad.” He leans over you and places a small kiss on your lips. “All I want is to make you feel good.”

“You know I never had anyone go down on me.”

“They were not real men then.”

You laughed. You started reaching to his pants. “It’s your turn.”

He shook his head. “Another time. I just want to lay down with you right now.” Liu Kang covered you with the blanket and kissed you softly on the lips.

You were about to kiss him back but a quick knock came at the door and then the door opened.

“Hey, Liu Kang, Raiden wants us to-“ When Kung Lao walked in and seen the scene before him all he could do is laugh. “Wait a minute-“

You weren’t easily embarrassed but Liu Kang was. He face palmed himself as he knew he would not hear the end of it. “Oh no…”

“We’re you two…” Kung Lao trailed off.

“Technically he was having a meal-“ You spoke but was quickly cut of by Liu Kang.

“(Y/N)!”

“What? He asked.”

Kung Lao had laughed again. “Oh my god. And who’s to say I am not the greatest match maker of all time?”

Liu Kang motioned for him to get out. “Yes, yes, yes. Now go.”

“Alright, alright. I’m going. Just don’t let the monks find out.”

You raised a brow confused. “Why?”

With that, Kung Lao turns over to Liu Kang. “She doesn’t know?”

Liu Kang scratched the back of neck before explaining. “You swear to chastity when you become one.”

Your eyes widen at this statement. “Like no sex at all? That sounds like literal hell.”

“Well, you two have fun. And next time just lock the door.” Kung Lao says before leaving the room, shutting the door.

Liu Kang flops on his back. You looked down at him. “Did I make you become a bad monk?”

“The thoughts were in my head before it was done.” Liu Kang simply told you before bringing you closer to his chest.

He finally did it. He finally got the girl.

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat 11 #mk #mk11 #mk 11 #liu kang #liu kang x reader #mk liu kang #mk raiden #raiden #kung Lao #mk kung lao #mk quan chi #quan chi #kitana #mk kitana #johnny cage

[okchijt]

Hey can you do eddsworld the main 4 with a s/o romantic head cannons

Author's Note: Thank you so much Anon for the request! So sorry it took so long in advance, I just finished my finals so I was really excited about this one and had a lot of fun with it! Hope you'll like it and that I didn't portray anyone OOC😅 And lastly, go ahead and check out my masterlist if you like what you just read and if you want to request anything yourself, thank you, and enjoy!❤

Edd

🟢 Edd would be the type of boyfriend that just wants to chill out and hang out with his partner. He's a very casual guy in every sense of the word, and so would be the relationship with him, with some physical contact and romantic gestures sprinkled in occasionally.

🟢 One of the most defining traits of your relationship is humor! You'd share inside jokes together and create made-up words only you two would understand, making the people Tom around you go insane over the nonsense you tell each other while laughing.

"How did the Coca-Cola can feel after being steamrolled?"

"It was soda pressed!"

"I fucking hate both of you"

Basically, Edd would do anything just to make you smile/laugh, no matter how stupid it might be, if he knows you find it amusing he'll say/do anything just to see your expression!

🟢 Edd likes to draw you a lot, you could be sitting, washing the dishes, playing with Ringo, reading, playing a game, etc, whatever you're doing, he will draw it! He just can't help himself, you look adorable to him no matter what you're doing so he just can't resist himself! Most of the time he'll try to be sneaky about it so you wouldn't notice so he can capture you on paper perfectly, smiling the whole time because you're his favorite thing to draw! Sometimes if he feels happy enough with the finished product, he'd present it to you shyly, hoping you'd like it.

🟢 Be grateful, because you're the only one that Edd allows to go anywhere his cola and even drink it! Being with him gives you the privilege of doing so without asking, normally if anyone else would even lay a hand on his favorite drink they'd have a rabid Edd to fight off, but with you, it's like he doesn't even notice! Which by itself says a lot about how much he loves you!

🟢 Edd might not seem like a great listener, which is true, but when it comes to you, it's a different story. Whether you just want to talk about your day or info dump him about your new hyper fixation, he'll listen to it all with a smile on his face, commenting on the things you said or asking questions. When you vent, he makes sure that you know his full attention is on you and you only. He'll listen to everything you have to say while rubbing your shoulder and once you're done, he'll hug you and try to give you some kind of advice or reassurance, even though he isn't the best at this type of stuff, he'll still try his best though. Because he can't stand to see you hurt.

🟢 Edds love language includes quality time and gift giving! He just loves spending time with you no matter what you're doing! If you're working and can't give him any attention, he'll just sit next to you or position himself where he's touching you in some type of way and just occupy himself with drawing while you do your thing. Whenever you're in a situation where you can't spend time with him, just simply letting him sit nearby and do his thing is enough for him to call it "spending time with you", cause honestly just being in the same room as you is enough for him.

🟢 As we established before, Edd likes to draw you. So logically gift giving for him is giving you drawings he made of you, you two together, or things that you like, like a favorite character or animal. He also takes requests from you whenever he doesn't have any idea of what to draw, and whatever you ask him to draw he will. When Edd has enough money, he'll spend it on some kind of gift for you that he knows you'll like. And he'll give it to you without expecting anything in return, all he needs is that excited expression of yours and a kiss on the cheek/lips and he knows spending the money was worth it.

🟢 PDA isn't one of Edd's main love languages, but he still does it to a casual degree. He's not overly clingy, but he's not distant either, he's more casual with the way he expresses his physical love to you. Like when you sit together on the couch he puts his arm around you or when you're walking on the street he holds your hand. Edd prefers to shower you with more bold PDA behind closed doors though, that's when he's the most romantic as well. He'll give you lots of cuddles and kisses, praising you and telling you how much he loves you as well. It's not that Edd is embarrassed to show this side of himself in front of others, he just feels like sharing those moments between the two of you makes it have more meaning behind it.

🟢 Edd is really opportunistic when it comes to kissing, and by that I mean he'll only do it if he feels like the moment is right or is in the mood to do so. Maybe you do something adorable, and he just can't help but kiss you wherever he can reach you first. Edd's kisses are sweet and gentle, he likes to hold you whenever he does so too. Outside of your lips, Edd likes to kiss you on the cheek the most, he finds it comforting and likes to think of it as teasing that instead of kissing you on the lips, he kisses the place closest to it, he likes feeling like a little shit sometimes, what can I say?

🟢 Will cuddle with you a lot, especially if it's a lazy day for him or he's feeling down. Edd likes to be the big and the little spoon when cuddling, it just depends on how he's feeling. As the big spoon, he'll press you to his chest while laying his head on top of yours. But as a little spoon, it's the opposite, he'll bury his head in your chest, giving you easy access to his hair. When I tell you this guy will immediately melt as soon as you start tangling your hands into his hair, you swear you can hear him purr sometimes as you play with it. Edd is honestly the best cuddling option you can get, he's extremely soft and during winter he will warm you up with no problem, and during summer he somehow is still great to cuddle with because his temperature changes with the climate you can say. Cuddling Edd is like hugging a giant soft teddy bear. Best feeling ever, I tell you!

🟢 Edd isn't clingy, but boy does he get jealous of you when he feels threatened by others sometimes! He doesn't really think much of other people interacting with you, if they're just being friendly and don't try to pull any moves on you he might even join in on the conversation or just let you have your fun while vaguely paying attention. But that all changes once he hears the other person starting to flirt with you and being a little bit too touchy for his liking. He'll pay closer attention to both of you as his expression changes from a neutral one to an irritated one, waiting for the right moment to step in as he forces himself to tolerate what's happening until he gets a clear sign from you that he should step in. As soon as he sees a sign of you getting uncomfortable he's already next to you as he puts his hands on your shoulders, squeezing them with reassurance as he gives the person a threatening smile as he says: "My partner and I need to go, goodbye!" And with that, Edd immediately pulls you away from the person and begins to drag you home. The whole way back, Edd would be uncharacteristically very touchy with you, he'd press you against him hard and hold your waist tightly as he grumbles under his breath over what happened. Jealous Edd is a rare sight for you, but when he is jealous he deals with the situation quickly and swiftly to avoid confrontation, his goal only being to get you out of the situation as fast as possible.

🟢 Dates with Edd range from casual to exciting ones! They both really depend on your/his mood, to be honest. He'd take you to a cat cafe and go crazy over the cats with you while drinking and eating delicious desserts. He loves taking you to arcades! It's an excuse for both of you to have fun while calling it a date simultaneously. Edd would just take you to places he knows you'll like or are located in the town you two live in. Though when an occasional theme park comes along, you bet Edd is dragging you there right away no questions asked! If it's a special day of yours or just an anniversary, Edd will try to be a little bit fancier and take you out somewhere nice, like a restaurant or to a movie that is extremely romantic/dramatic that he thinks you'll like or fit the "fancy" category he made up in his head.

🟢 Edd is the most basic type of boyfriend out there I tell ya! All he wants is to be with or near you all day and every day and that's all he needs! He doesn't need to have an especially romantic life with you, but he isn't neglectful either, he's just somewhere in the middle. He'll change on a whim though if you tell him to show one of his sides more often because he just wants to make you happy! He's the type of guy to shower his love on you in private while in public some people aren't even sure if you two are dating or not because of how casual he is. I think Edd in a way is near-perfect boyfriend material for does that find his specific traits attractive, and as one of those people I say he would make a great boyfriend!

Matt

🟣 Matt would be the type of boyfriend that wants to spend every single moment with you and to love you to no end type of guy. He's probably the most romantic out of the four of them, so he'd make sure all the moments you spend together show that.

🟣 It comes to everyone's surprise that someone like Matt would fall in love with someone who isn't him and even love them on the same level as he does, but here we are! To him, you are the most incredible thing in the world, someone he feels can even compete with his handsome face! He makes sure to remind you of that fact every day, because why wouldn't he? Your looks and personality are everything to him, so much so that he forgets about his narcissistic views sometimes.

🟣 In fact, Matt will do anything when it comes to helping you feel better about your appearance! Say you wanna try out a new haircut or wanna change your style, Matt is right there with you through all of it, even participating in the changes himself. He'd do your makeup, nails, hair, even skincare routine, whatever it is, Matt wants to be there and be a part of it, he calls it bonding time!

🟣 Matt doesn't usually care if other people appreciate his beauty like he does, to him only his opinion matters. But once you come into the picture, your opinion means the world to him! Anytime you compliment him, call him your: "Handsome man", or anything of that sort, this man is dying on the floor because of the amount of love and affection he's feeling because of you. No one else's opinion matters about his face or anything related to him, but yours and he makes sure you and everybody around you know that just by his reactions alone.

🟣 Since you two are dating, you are bound to get dragged by Matt to buy or find something to add to his novelty collection. You'd go on your own set of adventures for the sole purpose of expanding his collection. Matt really appreciates you going with him, it just shows to him how much you are willing to put up with for him. For some, his hobby just seems like something that doesn't matter or an inconvenience, but you don't, and he truly loves that about you. Matt 100% has a will written down somewhere that says: "If anything happens to me, give all of my novelty collection to (Y/N)''.

🟣 Matt's love language includes words of affirmation and quality time! Matt's main go-to to showing how much he loves you is showering you with praise any chance he gets! You could be looking like a hobo or a supermodel, but that man will still call you the most attractive person in the universe! Any accomplishment, whether large or small is immediately met with him congratulating you like you just won an Oscar! Not to mention whenever you feel insecure or just down, Matt will make does feelings go away in a matter of seconds because of how innocent his love for you is, he knows every right word to use to show you how much you mean to him. And he'll remind you of that fact every day no matter who you are or what you do.

🟣 You'd think Matt's second love language would be physical touch, but nope! It's quality time, baby! But I think you know that based on the examples above. The point is, anything you wanna do, Matt has to be there doing that thing with you too! No matter if it's work or something boring, he needs to be there with you! If you're busy he'll sit with you in a way where he's basically touching you and as soon as you show any discomfort or mutter that you need something, Matt is on the way to get it! Even if you didn't technically ask him to do so. He's basically like a lost puppy just following you around everywhere without a care in the world.

🟣 Matt loves PDA, he adores it! Both giving and receiving affection are one of his favorite things about being in a relationship with you! The only reason why it's not his main love language is because he finds the other two more intimate, but this easily takes third place! Unlike Edd, Matt isn't afraid to go all the way out with his affection towards you, private or in public he is all over you to some degree. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, cuddles, he will grab any chance he gets to touch you in some way. If he could Matt would glue himself to you so that he can always be with you, that's how clingy he is with his love for you.

🟣 Kisses with Matt are literally the most purest and innocent thing in the world! He holds you against him as you kiss as if you were glass, that's how gentle he is with you! Expect a lot of muffled giggles and pleased sighs whenever you two kiss, he's just so happy to have you in his life like this that he just can't help himself! Outside of your lips, Matt adores giving you kisses on the nose! He just finds it charming and adorable in a way, especially when you give him a reaction in the process, he finds them precious. It may be childish, but he's a childish man so that adds up, plus nose kisses are the best!

🟣 Cuddles with Matt are a must in a relationship with him! No occasion is needed for him to just wrap you in his arms and lay with you comfortably for hours at an end. Matt is both big and little spoon, mostly leaning towards little spoon though. When he's the one holding you, and not squeezing the living daylights out of you. Matt would be laying on his back while you lay on top of him, with your head on his chest as he kisses the top of your head every now and then as his arms are tightly but comfortably wrapped around your upper back. But as a little spoon, Matt crawls himself into a ball as he buries himself into your chest, wanting to make it easier for you to hold him. He basically feels like a giant teddy bear! Though I won't recommend cuddling with Matt during winter without a blanket, man is always cold! But during summer, it's a different story, he's basically a cooler during the warm seasons, so literally perfect!

🟣 As established, Matt is clingy af so there's no surprise that the man will act super threatened as soon as he sees others laying their dirty hands on you in a flirty way. Until Matt senses a disturbance in the force, he'll tolerate the person interacting with you if it's just in a friendly way and if you clearly don't mind them talking with you as well. But as soon as the person enters the danger zone where they start to get flirty with you, Matt will glare daggers at them as a silent threat to get them to back off. Alongside that, he'll tug at your clothes gently and whine to you that you need to go with him as he stares at you with puppy eyes. If all of that fails and the rando will try to put his hands on you, Matt immediately jumps into action! Clinging to your back like a possessive koala as he smacks the person's hand away and screams: "NO! This gem is mine! Go find yours somewhere else!'' And with that, he picks you up by the waist with his arms wrapped around it and shuffles away like an awkward penguin while holding you with a big pout on his face. He'll only put you down once he calms down a bit or you protest hard enough, and once he does you better give him lots of kisses and reassurances as you let him cling to you in any way he can as you two head back home with a still slightly upset Matt.

🟣 Matt takes his dates seriously, that's why he always puts in the effort to make them super romantic! He'd take you to places any partner would on a typical date, movies, dinner, picnic in the park, star gazing, etc. With Matt, there is no such thing as a normal date, only the best of the best for his beloved! He'll dress up super fancy and always have some kind of gift with him to give you every time. Though Matt would be happy to comply with any date idea you have, elegant/traditional dates are always his go-to because of the romantic meaning behind them by society's and his standards.

🟣 Matt is the most loving and clingiest boyfriend out there, your existence alone makes him swoon so he doesn't need much outside of his novelty collection to be happy! He's utterly devoted to you and makes sure to show you that each and every day of your relationship, so much so that everybody around you two already knows you two are together without being told so. Matt would be the perfect boyfriend for those that want to feel loved to the extreme and feel appreciated by someone, and you'd feel all of that every day with him! Top-tier boyfriend material, I tell you! No complaints here!

Tom

🔵 Tom would be the type of boyfriend that isn't really great when it comes to relationships, but for you, he tries his very best to at least be decent. He'd purposefully try to go out of his comfort zone just to prove his love for you, wanting to show you that he actually cares even when he isn't the best at showing so sometimes, but he tries!

🔵 First of all, this mad lad broke up with his bass: Susan for you so that better show just how much he cares and loves you if he picked you over his most beloved bass! Speaking of Susan, Tom often makes up songs that he plays on his bass about/for you. To which you'd always have to beg him to play you some cause he's super embarrassed about them, but with enough reassurance, he'd play you some! And if you reward him with compliments or a kiss, he may just be inclined to show you more, gaining confidence each time.

🔵 And while on the subject of music! You two would always share/recommend each other's music taste! Tom really likes listening to the same music as you whether it's yours or his, he really enjoys the moment because it's just so intimate to him. You'd share headphones, you having one bud in your ear while Tom has the other, forcing each other to stay close, which Tom secretly enjoys very much as he can't help himself but relax each time you two do that.

🔵 We all know Tom's alcohol problem, especially with his favorite: Smirnoff, which he drinks any time he can. But when you two get into a relationship, Tom tries to step back from his alcoholism for your sake. Sure, he'd gladly drink with you if you'd like, but he'd actually pay attention to the amount he's drinking and stop once enough is enough. To be honest, your existence and the relationship make him want to be better for you, and that means acknowledging his problem and overcoming it step by step.

🔵 Whether you are someone that loves Christmas or hates it, depending on which, Tom will try his best to not ruin it for you and match your energy! If you're a Christmas lover, Tom wouldn't exactly act happy about the holiday with you, but you can tell he's really trying to hold back any negative comments about the holiday for your sake. Tom may hate Christmas, but he loves you enough to try his best to not ruin the holiday for you better reward him with affection afterwards cause boy does he need it! But if you're a Christmas hater, then you already know Tom is ruining the holiday with you while calling it a date!

🔵 Tom's love language includes acts of service and physical touch! Out of everything, Tom finds it easiest to express his love for you by doing things for you whether you asked him or not. It's because he can do it without overthinking whether what you're doing is okay or not because doing something for someone else naturally makes that person happy! You could have cooked something for you two and only stepped away for a second, only to come back and see Tom already doing the dishes and insisting that he's got it covered and that you go rest. Maybe you have a pet that needs to be let out or fed and you can't get out of bed to do so, you don't even need to ask and Tom is already on it and doing it for you with no complaints, not even expecting anything in return while doing so.

🔵 One wouldn't expect that one of the main two love languages Tom has is physical touch, but here we are! Tom is actually extremely touch-starved, but won't allow himself to be touched or touch someone else until he feels 100% safe with them. At the beginning of the relationship it took a while for Tom to open himself up to such affections, but the way you took things slow and steady for him really helped and he allowed himself to feel vulnerable with you. Tom loves to give you hugs from behind, you'll be doing something while standing and all of a sudden two arms wrap around you and you can feel his head burry itself in the crock of your neck. At that point he can't live without touching you, you're his rock and he needs you to feel stable and safe. He's always touching you in some way, no matter what you're doing or what position you are in.

🔵 PDA and physical touch are basically the same things, right? Anyways, while out in public Tom is way more reserved with you because he doesn't appreciate strangers staring at the two of you, he'd still be okay with hand-holding or a kiss on his favored spot every now and then, but in private? Tom goes crazy in private, (not as crazy as Matt or Tord but still!) Basically, any opportunity he gets to show you his love for you in a physical manner he takes it. It doesn't matter what you're doing, he is touching you in one way or another. Like I said, you are his rock, his safe haven, and without you near him he'd go crazy, so holding you, kissing, hugs, hand-holding, and everything else in between is what he'll shower you daily with! Please hold him too every once in a while, Lord knows he needs it and may even have a mental breakdown from the affection alone, but he loves it I promise.

🔵 In the beginning Tom was very awkward when it came to kissing, but he eventually got the hang of it and became more comfortable! They were also very unsure and timid at the beginning, forcing you to take the lead, but with each kiss, Tom became more confident, and now he likes to kiss you with slow passion, savoring the intimate closeness with you. Besides your lips, Tom's other favorite spot to kiss you is your forehead. It's just so sweet, gentle, and innocent to him that he sometimes finds it even more intimate than a kiss on the lips. He usually kisses your forehead when you do something that he just really appreciates whether you meant it or not. Maybe you fixed the broken string in his bass for him and he'll just give you the most loving gaze and that gentle smile as he grabs your face and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead as a thanks. He just finds forehead kisses soothing, what can I say?

🔵 Cuddles=physical touch, so Tom enjoys if not loves them a lot! Tom has a preference for being the big spoon over the little spoon. As the big spoon, it literally feels as if Tom is trying to fuse with you by how hard, he's pressing you against him. You both would be lying at your sides as Tom has his arms wrapped tightly around your lower back and his head buried in your hair as he lets the scent of your shampoo ease him. Though Tom has a stronger preference for being the big spoon, he won't complain if you're the one who wants to hold him, especially if he's feeling vulnerable that day. You'd be lying at your sides again, but he'd have his back turned to you as you hug him from behind and run your hands up and down his arms/hands to soothe him, as he feels too embarrassed to face you when he's in his low state. Again, I'm sorry but just like Matt, Tom is always cold and you'd need a blanket with you whenever you two cuddle, except for summer though, cuddling with Tom during summer feels like heaven!

🔵 As said before, Tom loves physical affection and he views you as his safe heaven basically, so he isn't much of a fan when other people touch you, but if it's a friend or you allow the action yourself, there isn't much he can do but to tolerate it. But if it's someone that's trying to get with you, that's a different story! Tom makes it plainly obvious that he hates the person just by looking at them with that huge grimace and annoyed expression on his face as soon he can tell that they are flirting with you. Unlike Edd, Tom won't wait for a sign from you or anything like that, as soon as his feelings of feeling threatened are made correct by the actions of the person flirting with you he is right by your side, hugging you from behind possessively as he puts his head on your shoulder and says: "Hey babe, is this guy bothering you?" And just from his words and actions alone, the rando gets the hint you're already taken and leaves immediately with an apology. Apology or not, that does not stop Tom from glaring daggers at the person as you drag him away back home, having to soothe him with words of affection as he grumbles under his breath about wanting to choke the person.

🔵 Tom is very awkward with dates and finds them super complicated to arrange, man doesn't have much experience with dating and wants the best for you, so he tries his best to make the dates the best they can be! Tom would never admit it, but he'd be looking up advice online on where to take his partner on a date and go based on that, which means Tom doesn't really have a specific type of date he goes on with you, it's mainly whatever the best thing he can find online, he goes with. You ain't complaining though, cause those dates range from romantic dinners to the aquarium to a musical, to a picnic! No matter what it is or where you go, your boyfriend always makes sure you're having fun.

🔵 Tom is the most awkward boyfriend that doesn't know what he's doing but tries his best anyway just to make the relationship work. He may not always understand what he's supposed to do as a boyfriend or how to do it because he is always internally freaking out if what's he doing actually works, but he'd never once make you feel like he doesn't love you. He'd remind you of that fact every day in any way he can, whether large or small. Your existence keeps him sane and happy, so he'll do anything he can just to keep you at his side, even if he doesn't always know what he's doing.

Tord

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend that thinks he knows what he's doing while being a huge show off while doing so, but in reality, he has no idea how being in love and dating works. Still, he sure acts like he does cause he feels insanely confident in a relationship because he thinks it's easy and he knows what he's doing (it isn't and he doesn't) But he rarely makes you suspect that over how nice a relationship with him is!

🔴 Tord is very open with his love for guns, especially when he pulls one out of nowhere before shooting something. Even though Tord doesn't mind showing you off his shooting skills, in fact, he loves it, but he will not allow you to touch his weapon at all! No amount of reassurance will make him trust you or himself enough to give you such a weapon. He just fears something might go wrong, if there's anyone else's safety he's more worried about it than his, it's yours and he will never put your life in danger willingly no matter what.

🔴 He'd show you his little inventions like the couch one or something like that and gets giddy when you show interest in them and praise him for them. He'd never show you his dangerous inventions though, like his giant robot out of fear of losing you, but if you have an invention request for him, Tord is more than happy to make it come true! Any nondangerous gadget is at your disposal any time you want and is free to use without asking, which means something because very few people have this sort of privilege from him.

🔴 So we all know Tord likes to smoke his cigars, well, similar to Tom with his alcohol problem, he will try to smoke less if not stop entirely at one point just for your sake. Whether you made a comment about his smoking habit or not, he's sure his smoke breath just after he finished his cigar doesn't feel really good when you two kiss. So he'd try his best to lessen doing it, or at least not smoke before he gets to spend time with you just so that he doesn't smell too bad.

🔴 Tord would be the type of boyfriend to lend you his clothes but on purpose! You won't need to ask for his hoodie or anything before he one day walks up to you with his hoodie and gives it to you without a word before walking away. If you comply and wear his clothes, expect to have his eyes always on you with a flirty smirk to match. He just can't help himself but feel oddly satisfied and honored for you to wear his clothes that are always too big for you, he finds it adorable and a way of marking you by having something of him with you, but he'd never tell you that of course.

🔴 Tord's love language is unsurprisingly physical touch and words of affirmation! Out of the main four, it was given that Tord would love physical touch a ton! Tord normally isn't a touchy person at all, he avoids having physical contact with most people like the plague, but with you? It's the opposite! The second you get together he's all over you in any way and every day he can! He saves the special affection for people that mean the most to him, and you just happened to be his entire world so he makes sure you receive the attention you deserve! Sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around you? Check. Eating together with your knees touching? Check. Driving and sitting next to each other with his hand on your thigh? Check. Just any scenario with him having his hands on you in some way is always possible with Tord. He just feels safe and comfortable being this close to you, he doesn't show it, but Tord deals with a lot of anxiety and paranoia over the things he hides from you and his friends. It can get a lot sometimes, and the only way for him to let it all out is through physical contact with you.

🔴 Tord lives for giving you physical affection, but words of affirmation are exactly on the same level for him! Tord is a natural flirt that can come up with a pick-up line on the fly without trying, that's how good he is! But flirting isn't the only way he'll verbalize his love for you, a simple thought-out compliment or praise is what you'll hear from him a lot as well. Maybe you're working on something and are getting tired of it but you have to push through when you suddenly get interrupted by Tord appearing out of nowhere as he rubs your back reassuringly and tells you how great you're doing and to remember to take breaks etc. Just like with Matt, whatever you do, and no matter what the outcome of it was, or no matter how insecure you are, you will always be met with praise from him as he kisses you all over your face. Overall, just imagine yourself in any scenario just like the one before and Tord will find an excuse to flirt/compliment/praise you.

🔴 PDA and Tord are like best friends, why would he stop showering you with love in public when you clearly deserve all of the attention you can get? He's the same as Matt honestly, there is just no stopping him from kissing, hugging, hand-holding, etc, no matter where you two are. His love for you both in public and in private is the exact same, he just wants the whole world to know who you belong to and just wants to show your relationship off! Plus Tord doesn't feel any need to tone down the affection out in public, why should he? He barely pays attention to the random people on the street anyway because all of his attention is on you, everything else just doesn't matter when he's with you so he acts like it with his affections.

🔴 Kisses with Tord happen literally almost every minute and yet he always manages to find a way to make the next one more amazing than the last. He wants you to love and remember every moment of it as he slowly but sensually moves his lips against yours with that stupid smirk on his face and half-lid eyes that scan you with satisfaction. Tord is always confident when kissing you, so there's no hesitation coming from him before his lips are on yours while holding you so close you can barely move. And all of that is what I just described how kissing with Tord looks and feels like all the time. Outside of the lips though, Tord's other favorite spot to kiss you is to no one's surprise, your neck! It doesn't even need to be sexual, he just loves to kiss you there! The reactions you give him as you stiff at his sudden touch to the neck before you slowly relax and maybe let your voice out once in a while if Tord feels like teasing you a bit with his cheeky kisses. He is a pervert after all, so you can imagine he enjoys the show you give him sometimes immensely.

🔴 Same as with Tom and Matt, Tord lives for cuddles with you! Sorry, to say but Tord is always the big spoon, under no circumstance would he willingly put himself in a vulnerable position that we call the "little spoon". The only way for that to happen is you'd walk in on him in an uncharacteristically vulnerable moment, you both know he won't reveal what made him so upset so the only thing you can think of is to lay down and hug him from behind, pressing yourself against him tightly as you whisper reassuring words into his ear. Tord would never admit it, but he really appreciated the gesture, but you won't catch him asking to be a little spoon after that, it's just not his thing. What his thing is being the big spoon though! He is literally wrapped around you like a koala the whole cuddle session, you'd be pressed against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist and his legs entangled with yours as he lays his head on top of yours. Unlike the two before him, Tord is always warm, so cuddling during the summer is always a pain, especially because Tord can't go a single day without multiple cuddles. But during winter you cannot be more glad than to have a literal fireplace as a boyfriend!

🔴 Tord feels like everyone is a threat to your relationship with a few exceptions constantly, even if the person in question is just a friend or someone that truly means no harm Tord will always feel like he's competing over you with them. As soon as he realizes the person's intentions with you he'd glare daggers at them with an almost silent animalistic growl coming from him as crossed arms almost rip the fabric of his hoodie from how tightly he's holding the fabric. As soon as the person's hands start to move towards you in an attempt to touch you, in a blink of an eye Tord is right behind you as he grabs your shoulders and possesivly presses your back against his chest. ''Get lost before I make you" If looks could kill the rando would have been already on the floor dead from the terrifying threat and expression Tord had on his face. Before you realize what's happening the person is already bolting in the opposite direction, you only snap out of it once you feel Tord's grip on you loosen as he looks at you with a satisfied smile before grabbing your hand and walking back home. It's almost as if the situation is already forgotten by him altogether, but it isn't, in fact, he'll have that memory of you getting hit on for a while before he gets over it. He just chooses not to show you how much the situation has impacted him for your sake, though he would really appreciate a kiss or two with some reassurance as you two head home, it'll make him feel better faster.

🔴 Tord legit has no idea what he's doing when it comes to dates. Just like Tom, he'd look up advice online on how to make "the perfect date" for you. The dates he'd typically settle on are the ones he knows you'd love to go to, he'd pay special attention in conversations where you mention a specific place you'd love to go to and immediately write it down as one of the places he should take you to. Literally, anything you want he will make it happen, restaurant, theme park, cinema, arcade, etc, just name it and you're going there! Tord already knows you're enjoying yourself because he purposefully took you somewhere you wanted to go, but he'd always try to make the date even more fun with various shenanigans he does to make you laugh, making dates more memorable than they would've originally been.

🔴 Tord is the embodiment of a boyfriend that wants nothing more but to make you the center of his world if not the universe. If someone like him could get with someone like you then it's only right he makes you feel like the most special person in the world! And just like Matt, he's perfect for those that need/want to be reminded of that fact every day, whether you want it or not Tord is basically worshiping you and he'll make sure you don't forget that fact either! Honestly, you're the only reason why he hasn't taken over the world yet, you'll never know that fact personally, but it's true!

#eddsworld #eddsworld x reader #eddsworld x gender neutral reader #edd #matt #tom #tord #edd x reader #matt x reader #tom x reader #tord x reader #edd x gender neutral reader #matt x gender neutarl reader #tom x gender neutral reader #tord x gender neutral reader #headcanons #eddsworld edd x reader #eddsworld matt x reader #eddsworld tom x reader #eddsworld tord x reader #eddsworld edd x gender neutral reader #eddsworld matt x gender neutral reader #eddsworld tom x gender neutral reader #eddsworld tord x gender neutal reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #x reader headcanons #x gender neutral headcanons

[lazyjellyfish300]

DD pt 3 part 2 of 2

Fem reader x Miguel O'Hara who is your Uber driver

This art was commissioned to accompany this chapter by the incredibly talented @/ejpuki on Instagram. Please go support the original artist!

Pt 1 , Pt 2 , Pt 3 1 , Part 4 , Part 5

Synopsis- fem reader drinks too much and the bartender calls a random Uber for her which happens to be Miguel O'Hara himself. Her friends suck and ditch her. There's a lot of tension on the ride home...

TW: MINORS DNI, some blood, little.violence, suggestive content ,age gap (reader 26, Miguel 34), this one is a sad one, inspired by the original comic

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Over the next few days you two text back and forth and talk on the phone. You feel so happy and excited about this budding romance between you two. It's been so long since you felt safe enough to let yourself catch feelings for a guy. You flood his phone while he's at work. Miguel isn't used to someone texting him so often but it's kind of cute how you update him on every little thing that's happening in your day and he has to try not to burst out laughing in the break room at some of the Instagram reels you send him. 

Your text convo: 

Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️) : Why tf would you send me a video of a banana cat with that sad music 😂😐🤨 and who is that white guy that's always randomly showing up at the end of videos with that whistle tune playing? 

You(amor ❤️): it's a meme babe you don't get it😂😂😂 it's supposed to be random, that's what makes it funny af. And that's Josh Hutcherson. You've never seen or read Hunger Games?! 

Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): no, I haven't. Your sense of humor is a little broken I'm afraid. 🤨 You kids and your memes. 

You(amor ❤️): my sense of humor is just fine 😂LMAO you're only like 8 years older than me. 😂 we're watching it immediately! And we're going to Barnes and Noble to get you a copy. 😇 

Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): hmmm fine.😌 When would you like to, cutie? ❤️

You(amor ❤️): This weekend please? ❤️❤️❤️

Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): I'm so sorry, I'll have Gabi with me. But she'll be at her mom's next weekend. Can we do it then? ❤️ 

You(amor ❤️): that's okay I totally understand! ❤️ Yes please! I'm so excited ❤️ I miss you... 

Miguel(pookie 🐻❤️): perfect. I miss you more. ❤️

--------- 

Next Friday

Miguel drives to work, his heart like a dead weight in his chest and his mind racing with different scenarios on how he's going to tell his boss he's had enough. This isn't what he signed up for. The project he was overseeing at work was trying to create these "special abilities"in humans. One of the test subjects passed away this week and he'd be lying to himself if he said it wasn't messing with his head. He had nightmares about her. She couldn't have been older than 19. Her blue eyes frantic as she realized she might not make it off the lab table alive. Her horrified screams ringing in his eardrums. Miguel's fist clamped tighter around the steering wheel as he choked back a sob. He felt this was his burden to shoulder alone. He knew he was falling for you steadily now, and he didn't want you to go crazy worrying about him. He knows you love to try and fix people, a lot of times to your detriment and couldn't stand to see you in that position or live with the fact that he put you there. 

 He really didn't care for his boss, Tyler Stone either. Tyler Stone was the 6'3, blonde haired, blue eyed, egotistical vice president over Research and Development at Alchemax. He and the other higher ups just spent all day figuratively (and possibly literally) sucking each other off in boardroom meetings for the hard work everyone underneath them was doing. He was a businessman, not a scientist, and it became clear to Miguel that profit came first for him over scientific discovery and advancement, and his cronies shared the same philosophy. 

Miguel faced the man now, sitting in his office. Tyler sighed and walked over to his decanter set that sat in the corner of his office on top of a polished mahogany drink cabinet. 

"Care for some bourbon?" He asked, rolling up his sleeves.

Miguel pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded, closing his eyes for a moment. 

"It pains me to hear that you're wanting to leave, it really does." Tyler says as he pours the bourbon in two short, square glasses. 

"I chose you because I believed you could handle it. Your track record doesn't lie, Miguel. You were top of your class at Columbia University. I've seen your research and read your thesis that you did with them. You know Dain was actually the one that submitted your nomination to me when I was looking for someone to promote?" Tyler hands the glass of bourbon to Miguel who murmurs a low thank you. 

"My point is, if you leave, I got no one to replace you, and that makes my job even more tough." Tyler takes a sip of his bourbon and makes a small face. "I'm going to bat for your little science project every time I meet with the board of directors. I'll be honest with you, they're ready to trim the fat." Tyler's blue eyes bore into Miguel's over the rim of his glass. "But I tell them that this process, is worth the wait. We won't have these superhuman abilities lined up for purchase on shelves tomorrow. But give or take a few years we will be the first to break 100 bil in quarterly revenue when we roll this out to the public.  My point is, I'm willing to do whatever I gotta do to keep this project afloat because I've ran the numbers, I've seen what guys like you and Dain can do. It's a worthwhile investment."

Miguel takes a sip of his bourbon and winces. Fuck it, he downs the rest of the whiskey, his throat on fire. He holds out his empty glass to Tyler who takes it and goes to refill it, his back turned to Miguel.

 "I'm sorry...." Miguel finally says. "I've made up my mind. I'm flattered that you think I'm the right person for this job, but I'm telling you, I don't want to be the guy who all of this is riding on anymore. I'm not gonna gamble if people's lives are the chips."

Tyler's face went dark and he started tapping the side of his glass, his back still turned to Miguel.

Since when did this fucker grow a conscience? He knows he wouldn't be doing this job if he wasn't getting paid for it either right? He'd given Miguel and his team resources that any group of scientists would give their left kidney for. It was thanks to him in those board meetings that those ungrateful bastards even still had a job. And now their hang up is human test subjects? 

Tyler handed Miguel back another glass and said nothing as he watched Miguel down it. Miguel winced again as he finished his liquor, throat still on fire and cheeks starting to flush. 

Tyler turned back around, looking at the now setting sun on the horizon. "I'm afraid I can't let you go." He said calmly. 

Miguel raised an eyebrow, then suddenly his face turned white when Tyler held up an empty vial of Rapture, his back still turned to him. Tyler spoke again, his back still facing Miguel. "Alchemax is the only distributor of Rapture. Leave if you want, but I'm going to have to be forced to let the board know and involve law enforcement when they realize one of their silly little scientists couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar and became a needy little addict." He took a long sip. 

"You're not gonna make me look like a weak little bitch in front of the whole board. I don't lose, Miguel. You're not gonna fuck this up for me." 

Enraged, Miguel shot up, shattering the shot glass in his hand, blood gushing out of his fingers. "You fucking piece of shit!" 

Tyler remained calm. "You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead. I used your sign in to get this vial from the lab. The access history and empty vial next to my dead body will just deepen the hole you dug yourself. Either do as I say, or throw away your freedom right now and kill me before you even had a chance to see your little girl go to Prom." 

Miguel paused. This fucker was playing chess with him. Tyler took another sip. "It'd be a damn shame if you did. Especially about that new slutty girlfriend of yours. Did you even get to find out what her pussy feels like?"

That was it. Miguel threw his chair against the wall, the wooden legs splintering into the cabinet Tyler was leaning up against, a neutral expression on his prick face as he sipped more bourbon. 

Miguel turned and left the office, and slammed the door so hard the receptionist let out a small squeak of terror as Miguel tore down the hallway, rage seething out of his ears. 

  "Aaron?" Tyler asked in his cold expressionless voice. 

A short, balding man in his mid-thirties with green eyes and thick black rimmed glasses stepped out from behind a two way mirror in the corner of Tyler's office. 

"You rewrote the code in Machine A-2099 in sector 8, right?" 

"Yes boss." 

--------

You hummed happily as you lit a few of your favorite vanilla almond scented candles on your coffee table. You went all out with a smorgasbord of treats for your movie date night with Miguel including popcorn, gummy worms, Milk Duds, Pretzels, M&Ms, beef jerky, and root beer floats. As soon as you got off work, you cleaned the whole apartment top to bottom and put fresh sheets on the bed. You checked your phone anxiously.

Text convo: 

Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️): Good morning beautiful ❤️ how'd you sleep? Have a great day, I'll be at your apartment at 8 pm. 

You(amor ❤️): you just made my whole morning!🥰🥰 Good morning handsome! I slept great! I'm so looking forward to movie night tonight. I have a bunch of treats and goodies for us to snack on too. 😇

Miguel (pookie 🐻❤️): that sounds wonderful, baby. ❤️ Driving to work now, I'll text you when I get there but I'm not going to be able to talk much today. I have a meeting with the boss and a bunch of other stuff related to the project I'm overseeing. Just wanted to let you know not to worry ❤️ I'll call you at 6! 

6 pm came and went and you felt sick to your stomach. 

You(amor ❤️): Babe? Everything okay, I tried you twice. 

Nothing. 

You (amor ❤️): Miguel? It's 9 pm. Are you okay? Please just call or text me to let me know everything's okay...

It was now 10 pm. He wasn't coming. Your stomach lay in knots. You had called him 28 times with no answer.

What's happening? Is he cheating on me? Did he get into an accident? Is he dead on the side of the road while I'm hundreds of miles away and can't do anything?

He gets busy at work but he always, always checks in with you. You can't help but fight back tears at his untouched root beer float sitting next to yours. You knew going into this that you had to jump, knowing you were gonna fall and he might not be there to catch you. Well, here you were with a small dagger in your heart on what was supposed to be your second date. You couldn't help but let yourself get in your head. His rejection of you this time confirmed everything you feared about yourself. You laid down on the couch and sobbed quietly to sleep. 

------

That same night at Alchemax

Miguel's painful screams reverberated off the tiled floor of the genetics lab at Alchemax. The tall powerful man he was, was writhing on the floor in agony. It was as though his blood had turned to acid. His whole body felt on fire. Please God, if I'm supposed to die right now just take me already. He hadn't felt pain this intense ever before in his life. His eyes turned bloodshot, foaming at the mouth as his saliva bubbled and splurted out in incoherent gasps. 

Aside from his screams, the machine responsible for his pain let out a low beep. Miguel knew that a copy of his original DNA sample was logged into one of the gene altering machines that he set up when he was first put in charge of Tyler's superhuman project. He knew that as long as he had a drop of Rapture in him, he'd remain an addict defenseless against his new dependency Tyler forced on him. He had tried in vain to rewrite his current biology back to the original, but Tyler was one step ahead. Tyler knew nothing about science or how DNA worked, but it didn't take much to convince Miguel's bitter, jealous subordinate, Aaron Delgado to sabotage the machine. Very little was known about what type of effect that might have on a human, so there was a good chance he'd just die. Just what they wanted. Aaron and Tyler's smug faces entered the lab, watching Miguel suffer and taunting him, even pouring up another round of bourbon while they waited for the show to end. Yep, he'd be dead in just a few more minutes. They had an alibi and a cover up ready to go. They'd post his job opening by Monday and then they could pretend like this never happened. Miguel suddenly became still, his chest seeming to freeze in place, no longer rising and falling with his normal breathes. 

Gabriella, my little girl...I'm so sorry....I love you more than anything 

His eyes became glassy with tears. He was on his way to finding happiness with you too, only to have the rug pulled out from under him, now he was going to die here, alone. And those who killed him would never know justice behind their corporate wall of privilege and greed that would surely protect them. He uttered your name, his lips barely moving before his eyes fell closed and saw only black.. 

----

Pt 4 coming soon! Thanks for the support 🖤

@mysteris-things

#miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #miguel atsv #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #fanfic #Spotify

[meanbossart]

i appreciate you as an astarion Understander, but shadowheart is my pookie so i gotta ask what you/du drow think of her...i mean they're bestfriends obviously but what did he make of her pre-shadowlands? what about during act 2? post gauntlet of shar? personally, the shar temple really endeared me to her even if i found the act of doing some of the trials a bit annoying.

Oh I found Shadowheart to be the Most annoying character when I started to play the game and disregarded her as "the hot goth with no substance that they put here for the Morrigan fans" of the story, at least for the majority of act 1. She very slowly became one of my favorite companions though - her development is Wonderfully paced and I love the "open-endedness" of her quest (at least as I went about it), she's facing a similarly terrifying predicament as Astarion and DU Drow where, yes, she may have freedom now - but she has nothing else at all. Not her parents, not her memory, not her god (since I dont personally like the idea that she would just flip to Selune immediately).

What I find kind of interesting about her is that she gets... Less confident in herself as the story goes on? And how, in her particular case, that's both a bad and a good thing. She learns that the world isn't so black and white and that she's been fed lies through most of her life, but that seems to leave her with this frightening uncertainty that she must now contend with, instead of turning into anger or righteousness. It's a surprisingly faithful representation of what's like to escape a cult mentality. In a lot of ways she gets a lot LESS cool as her story progresses - but In a way that I really like, if that makes any sense.

DU drow would have found her similarly annoying at the start (Just took her as a naive religious nutbar) but she slowly endeared herself to him by having a mean streak of her own. They often saw eye-to-eye in their "fuck you, got mine" kind of attitude and DU Drow would have really appreciated her straightforwardness. The moment where I realized those two would get along was during a dialogue you have about her mission, I don't recall the exact wording, but she says something in defense of her blind faith and you have the option to reply along the lines of "Spoken like a true pawn", which I did, because I was playing an asshole. But instead of getting mad she just... Acknowledged it with a little humor and then let it roll right off her back. DU drow really appreciates people like that 🤷

I surmised that, with that attitude plus their shared memory affliction, they would have grown found of each other pretty quickly. If she had been the one to turn me down at the tiefling party instead of Astarion, I would have probably romanced her instead, which is a funny alternate reality to think about.

Then, her and Astarion egging him on with the Loviatar priest pretty much cemented their threeway dynamic for me LOL

Past that point, Shadowheart played a key part in DU drow's own "questline" as the person he later mirrored himself off of. She defied her deity of her own will (I didn't persuade her to spare Nightsong, I just let go and let god) she gave up on her own destiny and greatness in favor of just... Being her own person. It would have gotten DU drow thinking a little more deeply about these things, specially once he found out he was Bhaal's chosen.

Also, they both have a soft spot for animals.

#bg3 spoilers #ask #du drow #shadowheart

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

#anti destiel #anti destihellers #anti hellers #wincest #canon vs fanon #fandom wank #destiel wank #I've been sitting on & adding to/refining this post since Feb 2018 time for it to see the light of day

[buubonita]

Headcanons - Dreamtale Twins

Nightmare

Obsidian is capable of neutralizing the power of Nightmare's aura in small proportions. But its not able to harm him.

Animals are prohibited because they become hostile around Nightmare.

He can feel when a place or an object harbors feelings. Cursed places or objects strengthen him. Dream is the opposite case.

Nightmare's left eye burns when Passive Nightmare's influence becomes present. It is also purple.

The facets of the lunar cycle were reflected in Passive Nightmare's eyes.

"Mweheehehehe"

Nightmare is still very interested in botany, but where he lives it is impossible for anything to grow besides weeds and poisonous bushes.

Negativity is like a miasma and weighs on the atmosphere. The air in the Nightmare territories is very thin.

Wear shoes with heels to look a little taller.

The viscosity of his body feels like moss on contact, but prolonged exposure will cause injury.

Nightmare's tentacles have their own consciousness, and can act on their own.

Passive Nightmare & Corrupted Nightmare are two different entities that coexist in the same body.

He plays the piano and learned it in his solitary longevity.

Despite enjoying other hobbies, Nightmare dedicates very little to them. He had to adopt them at a certain point, when existing became unbearable.

Killer is his favorite because he is the easiest to handle than the others. HE IS THE RIGHT HAND. The loyal dog. Killer is also the one who has been by his side the longest and knows how to handle Nightmare. Dust is the hardest. Sans is a middle ground.

Haves a trauma with food so he doesn't eats.

Dream

Kissing him is like a boost of serotonin right on your veins.

HE IS CUTE. Too cute within the possibilities that a skeleton can be.

A very flexible boy (And Cross really likes to watch but who can blame him?)

He hates bananas (And apples for obvious reasons)

He likes wrestling (because he knows they are acted and there is no real violence)

Terrible at domestic life, Dream is quite incompetent when it comes to deadly rituals. He is terrible at cooking. "Uhhhm mortals drink water, right? Right!"

Sugar gives him energy in small proportions, so he consumes it in lots. He's a little glutton, he could empty your pastry shop (but he won't because he's a good boy)

Neil is his father figure and the person he trusts the most.

He usually leaves trails of golden dust wherever he goes.

He is one of the few people who understands (or accepts) Reaper's morbid sense of humor, but he always apologizes for laughing. "Oh. .OH, I understand! Gosh I shouldn't be laughing at this!"

He has a good aim.

Little wanderer boy, but Underswap Sans always makes a place for him to stay.

His situation with Cross is complicated (It's Cross, he is madly in love with him)

The only reason he has become interested in reading is because of Nightmare.

He is a vegetarian because Nightmare used to be.

I have more, but i will leave it here now. I would like to share my hcs about Reaper next (but if anyone haves suggestions i am listening)thanks for reading! Pze out. Take care.

#undertale au #nightmare sans #undertale multiverse #dream sans #dreamtale #headcanon #dreamtale au #passive nightmare sans #utmv #cross sans

[donnerpartyofone]

This has been a really hard one to talk about. I'm always very ambivalent about mourning celebrities. I try to remember that I don't know these people, that what is really mourned by most of us is the person's ongoing work, which in the best cases has helped us understand ourselves and the world in which we live. Unavoidably, though, you can start to develop the sense that you know these people personally, which isn't true or even appropriate necessarily, I mean you have no idea whether you would even like someone you've only seen on a screen or received an autograph from; but at the same time, I don't know if you can really force yourself not to feel like the deceased celebrity is a dear friend you will never get to talk to again (the last time I tried and failed was the passing of Lux Interior). Maybe this is more forgivable, and also more inevitable, if you feel like you grew up with the person.

Of course this is all about ME now, but my mother (who also died from cancer) was an extremely hip, brilliant, funny individual who for whatever reason refused to form a relationship with me. This was pretty strange, because we liked a lot of the same things--B movies, old comics, all types of camp and kitsch--but when I liked those things, it was in poor taste and punishable by exile, whereas when she liked those things, it was evidence of her cultural genius. Before I make anybody too mad I should say that I'm being a little bit unfairly reductive just so I can get to the point, which is that one of the few things we could share was Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I didn't know anything about the show's more adult origins or the fact that Paul Reubens was sort of a performance artist, but I didn't have to. Pee-Wee's Playhouse was a feast for any child's senses: stylish, hilarious, and on some subliminal level, really sophisticated. I was clued into some of what was going on just because I watched it with my mom, who always laughed at Pee-Wee's winks and nudges to the hep parents in the audience. The show might have been my first encounter with the kind of anthropological humor favored by people like David Byrne and Laurie Anderson, artists who engage subversively with cliches, stereotypes, and other memetic parts of popular culture. In Pee-Wee's Playhouse, with its sharp, edgy cast and crew, kids like me were getting into fine art without even knowing it--which is possibly the best way to learn about art anyway.

In fact, on the other side of our house, I became obsessed with Gary Panter's incredible punk opus Jimbo In Paradise, a Dantesque comic book about an innocent young guy living in a dystopian future, where he is occasionally joined by guest stars such as Nancy and Hedorah. I was about 7 when I started reading Jimbo over and over again even though I could barely understand it, and I had no idea that Gary had pretty much designed Pee-Wee's Playhouse. I'm speaking about him so familiarly because I got to know him a little bit as a grownup. I remember Gary talking about how private Paul Reubens could be. He used to do this thing where he would accept a dinner invitation from anybody who asked, as sort of a stunt, but he had to stop doing it because people became so intrusive and entitled with him. Gary said that they'd be walking around in New York and when they saw an obvious Pee-Wee fan gearing up for an offensive, Paul Reubens would sort of transform into this totally different person, putting out an aura that let you know not to fuck with him. It's crazy-making to think that someone who was so protective of the boundary between his private and public selves had to suffer that ridiculous arrest, but it's heartening that most of society eventually grew the fuck up and forgot about it. It's also helpful to remember when he turned up later on the MTV Music Video Awards and started off by asking the audience, "HEARD ANY GOOD JOKES LATELY??"

I'm glad we got one more Pee-Wee special in the past several years, but I always wished that we would see Paul Reubens in more movies. He was such a cool actor, funny, convincing, and naturally charismatic. While people are cycling through their favorite roles of his, I want to point out that he had a great role on a recent HBO miniseries called Mosaic, an intense, engrossing crime drama that I definitely recommend if you have access. Maybe I'll rewatch it, too. In closing, here's a great story that I grabbed from Facebook that should warm everybody's heart, along with the heartbreaking statement (inappropriately cropped by Instagram of course) released upon the death of the very private Pee-Wee Herman. It makes you wish you could thank him in person, for everything. The best we can do is just remember him.

[grounded-parasocial]

I am still having so many feelings about the final season of YR and I have been feeling like I don’t have anywhere to put them. It’s like the warm smolder of my obsession has sparked into a wild fire and now it’s too hot to stand near, but I cannot get it under control. I feel so much love, appreciation and pride for this queer love story and the truly magical way it has been told. However, I also feel so much heartbreak and loss both for the suffering in this season and that the show has come to a close. I feel consumed and a little bit embarrassed, but when it really comes down to it, the thing I am struggling with the most is the loneliness/isolation in my real life. It hasn’t really bothered me before that nobody in my life is obsessed with this show (which is still odd to me considering I live in a very queer community, so you would think I could find at lease one person irl) and I just want to be IN IT with someone who gets it. I feel like I have a pinball mess of feelings inside of me and everyone is just walking around living life like nothing has happened, but something DID happen!

These thoughts have me thinking about grief- grief is not always associated with death or separation- grief is associated with loss. And if I keep going with these thoughts on grief/loss- everyone’s loss experience is different and personal, but one thing that is a common thread when going through loss, is we need people to see it, “witness it” and be able to hold it. This is why we (therapists) so often suggest support groups for people experiencing grief (different than therapy/treatment groups). In support groups there is space for healing because there is witnessing and story telling and shared experience with people who understand. There is also safety and trust when you are with others who will not diminish your experience and who will not try to fix it. One of the other things that is helpful in support groups is all the different perspectives and being able to see people at different points along their journey. You can also see and share in all the different ways people cope and move through- some write, some lean into music, some exercise, some talk, some listen, some take drives, some use humor, some give hugs and some people take a lot of hot showers- but overall it’s community and human connection and those things give us sense of belonging.

This long ramble leads me to here, on tumblr, this fandom feels like my support group. I’m grateful. It’s the place I dont feel embarrassed, my experience doesn’t feel diminished and it makes me feel like other people “get it”. It’s kinda feels like the Young Royals office is holding support groups in conference room #2.. And have you seen the coping skills (TALENT) in here!

This may be only going out into the void, but if it lands for just one other person, then my point has been made.

Sending y’all a gentle hug 💜

#on a personal note #rambles #young royals #young royals s3

[lilwnet]

Spencer Dating a True Crime Fan: Headcanons

Summary: a true crime junkie and an FBI agent, the Universe must be laughing its lungs out. Some vague-ish headcanons on what it’s like to be in such a relationship. In general, the sweetest, most supportive boyfriend Spencer Reid, and caring, brilliant you.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader

Warnings: don’t think I went to extremes or described anything graphic, however, I’d recommend giving it a pass if you aren’t comfortable with anything true crime. Besides, it’s kinda long and isn’t proofread.

A/N: I’m not a native English speaker, and it’s frustratingly hard for me to speak — and write — good, authentic English, especially grammar- and punctuation-vise as my first language interferes heavily. Hence, beware because there are mistakes!

When you say it to Spencer or he sees you getting interested in a book dedicated to a prolific murderer, he’s perplexed. Being exposed to so much evil in his life, he couldn’t wrap his head around the reason for you to be so invested in true crime.

Yet, when you explain it to him, he wonders if he’s a true crime fan, too.

For you, it’s always been quite fascinating why people resort to such a brutal, inhumane and cruel way of dealing with daily struggles; then, you say about “stranger danger”, your parents’ precautions and warnings that made you curious from the very young age why they are so focused — or overly focused — on safety. Finally, you want to understand why some people get high off killing others, meaning, you’d like to get a hang of their brain’s system, of their choices, life, history, psychological evaluation. In general, that coincides with what he does for a living.

I believe you wouldn’t know about his occupation at that point of your relationship. It’s pretty early on, quite possibly the first date when Spencer rather nervously asks you to tell more about yourself that you just blurt it out. The thing is, you’ve grown quite used to the fact that some people find you weird for taking a liking in such a dark topic. You thought, the earlier you say, the lesser it’d hurt if you were to go your separate ways.

However, Spencer surprises you. After your explanation, he seems to get it and then laughs genuinely as he realises how comical the situation is. If you meet through one of your mutual friends, Reid will question their sense of humor. If you meet randomly, he doesn’t know what to question, yet will get pumped up by fate’s unpredictable, always on-point turns.

You, a true crime junkie, is now dating an FBI agent, an SSA with BAU.

When he finally stops laughing and sees your bemused reaction, he proceeds to reveal his job, and you join the new wave of laughter.

After that, you talk about some cases he deals with, although you try your best to read, profile the agent to avoid pressuring him into reliving said crimes. Later on, the mutual agreement would be to only talk about it when both want to.

Surprisingly, Spencer feels like talking about it a lot, still he doesn’t resolve to graphical descriptions. He finds it soothing to share the story and push it right to the back of his head.

You, in turn, are a remarkably good, careful listener who doesn’t hide their emotions. You shed tears if it hits you hard, you comment when you believe a killer to be an absolute idiot, you make a face when you’re disgusted or annoyed.

Reid finds it refreshing; his colleagues, he himself, have built up façades as nonchalant, unfazed, gathered, their walls too high and thick for anyone to question the authority and experience.

Maybe it isn’t just the sharing part that helps him go through the hardest aspects of his job, but you, your mannerism and your presence.

What he likes most is how compassionate you are. You both believe the rationale for it is the amount of information you know about true crime.

When you discuss something — his case or something one of you has read — and you ask Reid about a victim’s family or focus on a victim’s background rather than a killer’s, he can’t help but hug you tight.

As an FBI agent, Spencer has gone to a couple of crime-related events, orchestrated by FBI or scrutinisingly arranged by ex-BAU agents, and he knows how little attention people pay to those who suffer the most. So, seeing you doing the exact opposite of what he encounters daily melts his heart.

Now, if you’re just a listener and/or a reader, he will ask you about your favourite podcasts or Youtube channels to buy a ticket — or tickets — to their shows or find you books about some perpetrators he believes you might find fascinating to study.

BUT if you’re doing a podcast or a Youtube show, or both, it’s a whole different story.

The minute you say it, Spencer is hooked on and ties himself in knots to find out more. You don’t show him an episode as you find it rather embarrassing, hence, Dr. Reid resolves to the only option he can think of.

Spencer asks Penelope to show him how to use Youtube or a podcast app. Garcia is surprised and eager to help, albeit upset when she realises Reid won’t say a word to explain his sudden interest in technology.

When he picks up the interface and the general idea of a website, he buys a new phone to have a chance to listen to your voice and to see you in both a Youtube box and a FaceTime box when he’s away on never-ending cases.

If you have a concept of doing something simultaneously while talking true crime — think of Bailey Sarian or MissMangoButt — he’d be so impressed. True crime is hard enough as there are many subtle, intricate details to elaborate on, and you do it almost effortlessly while focusing on something else at the same time!

(If you’re knitting, Spencer’ll ask you to knit something for him to see you do it while elaborating on a story, and he feels so soft inside, he can’t really explain why).

If you’re just telling a story, he’s as equally impressed. Spencer has a stage fear, a fear of public speaking, he’s camera shy. And you’re there talking, providing photos, your reaction is as real as when the two of you talk. You seem so natural at it.

Dr. Reid’s well-aware of every case you discuss or at least he has heard of them. He still listens or watches amid a) your style of telling a story; b) your humour and your mannerism; c) it’s you… how he can not listen to you or watch you? Apart from that, you’re doing something to spread awareness on never-decreasing crime rates.

Besides, he’s awestruck at the way you tell a story like some novelists do. An intriguing beginning, either slowly painting the surroundings for listeners or almost shoving them right into the midst of a case, then a build-up that leads to a climax and an end, letting your listeners know that some weirdos are held accountable or concluding that criminals never stop.

At first, the genuis listens to it when he’s home alone or in hotel/motel rooms after his own cases. Then, Spencer plucks up the courage to say he’s so proud of you and your work and provides you with a number of episodes he has watched or listened so far.

“I feel like I might become a true crime junkie because of you,” he’d joke. “Seriously, I would love to listen to all of them, but I don’t want to look, uh,” Reid stumbles over his words not to sound rude. “I don’t really want strangers or my colleagues to listen to what I’m listening to.”

Next thing Spencer knows you gift him two different pairs of wired headphones; the first goes with his phone, the second quickly reminds him of the headphones he once described as the only technology he has seen that he’d like to have.

Yeah, he’s a true crime junkie now, too, but he is your true crime junkie. Spencer watches all the episodes until he runs out of them and then waits patiently for the uploading day.

He grows so comfortable with your soothing voice, it helps him sleep. When you joke about something, Reid chuckles and, strangely, has no shame for it, even when five pairs of eyes stare at him, puzzled, while he sits comfortably with his eyes shut and his headphones in.

When he sees you doing some research or writing a script for another story, he won’t intervene unless you ask him to. He won’t be offended if you’re working things on your own — because why would he be? — but he’s so happy to give you a hand. To him, it means you value his ideas and opinion.

Spencer helps you find the information you need by just stating a fact or a detail you’ve spent an hour looking for, or scanning through your script if it seems shabby to you. In most cases, he says that you’re an overthinker, and everything is great, yet he does provide the critique to enhance your work.

If you have a concept similar to Payton Moreland’s “Binged” when she examines two cases on a common theme, he might suggest you cases to look at.

Sorry, but he’ll never join an episode, and you shouldn’t push him to.

Now, topics are heavy, still Spencer knows his limits and takes breaks when needed to avoid overstimulating his mind or getting increasingly anxious on daily basis.

Furthermore, he lets you accept that you need to have a rest, too, for the exact same reasons.

True crime aside, you still have so much to talk about, from gossips to carpet history.

Bonus: with Spencer slowly opening up to technology, you two exchange breakthroughs in cold cases.

For example, when the Golden State Killer was caught, you two spent the majority of the day connecting the dots and discussing the case, and the court hearing made you two shook.

He didn’t actually work that day, and neither did you, but who cares?

Hotch does, so you better keep low-profile.

#off point but Spencer would 100000% date a podcast reader who sends him 47 minutes voice message and he listens to all of it on 1x #btw didn’t like making him less technophobic… it’s such a he-trait and loosing it is :( #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid headcanon #spencer reid headcanons #spencer reid x y/n

[yooniesim]

So, I may be a day late, but I still want to make a little post for Simblr Gratitude Day 💜

To start off, my memory is pretty bad, so I just know I'm gonna miss tagging people... and honestly, there's way more people on here I'm grateful for than tumblr's limit of 50! So I'm starting out addressing everyone.

To everybody that likes or reblogs my posts, sends comments or asks, shares their sims with me, or uses my cc: I love you. Yes, you! I may be bad at answering back sometimes, but I cherish every interaction I get- a lot of the times they have me kicking my feet and giggling, or sometimes I'm barking and scaring my cat. Asks really make my day and even when I don't reply so fast, they warm my heart. Asks I've gotten on here have genuinely helped me in my dark times, and renewed my faith in this community as a whole, because some of you are just so freaking amazing and kind. Especially now with everything I've been going through, sims and being here has remained a comfort for me because of you all. Even if there's speed bumps from time to time, I truly believe there's more good here than bad, and y'all should be proud of yourselves and your capacity for endless kindness. Thank you!

Now, I'm going to address a few specific precious people I'm grateful for.

@wastelandwhisperer - Moon, my precious mom friend, I adore you. The joy, comfort, and hilarious memories you give me can't be understated. You deserve all the love and light in the world.

@neverheresims - God's eepiest soldier, what would I do without you? Thank you for always being genuine, reliable, and a true friend.

Vi - Thank you my sheriff, my paggro detector, my master of copypastas, my right hand catboy. Even though you're untraceable, I couldn't leave you out. I love you!

@divinedionym - Thanks for always being straight with me and taking NO shit. I truly admire you and your attitude, friend.

@dyoreos - We may not both be active at the same time anymore, but I still think of you, friend! You've always had my back and I'll always have yours.

@nucrests - I'm so grateful to be your friend, and every time you share your beautiful content and gorgeous sims with me, it really makes my day. I adore you.

@cinamun - You probably don't know this, but in certain times when I was feeling low, your comments and kindness really lifted my spirits and made me feel like I belong. You're a lovely person and deserve all the love you receive, friend.

@woosteru - You won't see this bc you're retired so I can be sappy as I want, so there!!! I adore you, your sweet personality, and your sense of humor that matches just right with mine. (Nobody tell them)

@superflare - Lulu, you're an incredibly creative and intelligent person. I can tell you're going to go far in life and do great for the world. Be proud of yourself, always!

@fiftymilehighclub - Thank you for always being yourself, Manda! You're such a hardworking person that's kind but firm with your opinions and what matters to you. You're amazing.

@nicatnite88 - Tay, you're someone that's always empathetic, understanding and kind, yet hilarious at the same time. I look up to you as a person and admire your skills as a parent.

@pluto-sims - What do I say about Eli? Despite being unfortunately bri*ish, you've exceeded expectations in all other areas as a friend. I genuinely appreciate your presence and kindness in my life.

@bloody-soda - As one of my longest and dearest mutuals, peachy, my love for you can't be understated! I think of you whenever I see cute meme pics lol and you're so lovely as a person.

@wubblesgonefishin - Beautiful wubs, you're such a wonderful person with so much love to give! My day brightens every time I speak with you and I'm so glad you're back.

@toastie-sim - Meg! One of my few brain cells, I don't know what I'd do without you! You're so helpful all the time and unbelievably patient. I appreciate you.

...Phewph. Now that that's o- wait. You thought I was done??? Nuh uh, the king of long ass texts posts is not done that fast. Here's some more beautiful people I'm grateful for and love seeing grace my dash 💜

@simandy @void-imp @therichantsim @adelarsims @marsosims @shysimblr @1-800-cuupid @xldkx @xiuminuwu @hexcodesims @cassymblr @lotusplum @rebelangelsims @denzellion @strawberrylattesims @anachrosims @cowplant-snacks @fierce-trait @simanin @ghostwoohoo @llama-head @aghilasims @janjumjam @jellyfish-tea @bbdoll @puppycheesecake @mwvwv-sims

#ceci speaks #nonsims #text #simblr gratitude day #im telling u i missed ppl and im sorry #but just know i love u all!!!

[destinygoldenstar]

I Analyzed The Ninjago Movie Instead Of Sleeping

I have real mixed feelings on this movie. But not for the reasons you might think from a fan of the TV show.

The movie didn’t NEED to be connected to the show. And it clearly wasn’t trying to.

It was meant to be an AU in a way.

(If you look at the behind the scenes one of their original rewrites was a plot of them going back in time to save Lloyd’s dad from becoming the villainous figure he is in the present day.)

So I can forgive the inaccuracy so long as it could stand on its own as a proper story.

It doesn’t do that.

If you DON’T compare it to the show:

You got a movie with SOME good jokes, amazing animation, (SERIOUSLY THIS MOVIE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND VISUALS ALONE ARE A CHEFS KISS TO ME) but is so strangely paced that it feels like the movie starts at the middle of the story and never shows the beginning, and feels like a completely different movie halfway through, and is also very choppily edited.

(I even double checked a clip of the movie just to prove my point there: When Lloyd uses all his dragon mech weapons on Garmadon, they play the exact same sound effect and explosion, just with different angles, SIX TIMES. FSM WAS THAT EDITOR HUNG OVER WHEN DOING THEIR JOB THAT DAY?! And that’s just one example I’ve got. I think this was the first time EVER when I was in a movie theater and I distinctly remember asking “What is wrong with the editing here? Who thought this was good editing?? Who thought this was appropriate in any way???” So I thank this movie for giving me such a memory and making me value good editing.)

You also got a world that isn’t very well fleshed out, characters that the movie chooses to not focus on except the main character and the main villain. And you got a movie that tells its audience it’s okay to forgive your parents that neglected you and are active terrorists even if they earned or done absolutely no redemption whatsoever.

I mean Garmadon in this movie BETRAYS them and leaves them to rot so he could terrorize the city again at the end. Then gets eaten by the cat. Then Lloyd forgives him. Idk what more you want me to say.

I’m not gonna act like Crystalized did it any better though. Pick your poison.

But then you got fans of the show. The people who watched the show since kids (that includes me). Who are naturally bias towards the shows lore and characterization…

OOOOOOHHH boy…

I don’t hate EVERY portrayal of the ninja in the movie as much as other people. I actually think there’s some good ideas for an AU version of these characters here. Problem is the movie never does anything with them.

Well, I say I don’t hate every portrayal, the one I truly cannot stand is Zane’s.

There’s just so much wrong with how they portrayed Zane that it just does not work. Not as an adaptation of the character. Not in any way that makes sense for this universe and is actually kinda insulting.

There’s no other robots in this city. (Like there are in the show) Why is Zane the only one and why is he in high school? Why would Wu ever pick a robot to be a ninja?

In the show the reason is pretty simple: Wu didn’t know at the time.

But everyone knows in the movie. What’s movie Wu’s excuse?

There’s also in terms of personality.

Keep in mind later seasons of the show have the same issues, so I’m talking about what it was at the time of the movie.

Zane’s whole robot identity is crucial to his character. The show introduced him as ‘the strange one’. As he couldn’t understand social cues, took things very seriously, didn’t share the same sense of humor as the rest of the team, had a hard time displaying his emotions, and bonded with things the others didn’t and excelled at certain areas like cooking.

He’s a character that connected to a lot of neurodivergent people in the audience who could relate to him. No he’s not intentional autistic rep, but one that definitely mattered to the people that headcannoned him as such.

(Also helps that they introduce other robot characters later that clearly don’t have the same characteristics he does. So really it depends on what you see.)

So the reveal that he was a robot was such a huge deal to not just the plot but to him as he finally got a concrete definition of what he is and who he is. And the show NEVER decides to say “You know, it would be so much better if you were a human!”

“Why can’t you just be normal?!”

That’s part of why I personally can’t stand fics that make Zane human. It just doesn’t feel right to me and misses the point of the character.

While I absolutely did not expect the movie to cover his… really heavy backstory with his inventor/father and how he outlived him, then got his memory and sense of identity wiped by him moments before death, which was meant to be an act of sympathy but would actually harm Zane’s mentality for the entire show…

The movie didn’t need to adapt that. For all we know, movie Zane could have a very happy backstory. And that would be fine. All I wanted was for the identity-seeking aspect of Zane’s character to matter in some way.

It didn’t.

The jokes they use for Zane in this movie are that of “Haha, he’s a robot. Isn’t it so funny that he doesn’t understand humanity very well?”

You know, something that in one episode of the show was portrayed as a BAD THING for people to think that of him! And that those people needed to learn to respect him for who he is!

And that’s the ONLY thing they do with him. Just robot jokes. Very stereotypical robot jokes.

Again, later seasons of the show are guilty of this too. So I will not act like the show is perfect.

For the reasons I listed, these are actually far more offensive and harmful than you think. Especially fans of the show watching the movie. Him being the only robot in this movie world makes me think even more that this actually is autistic coding… and that makes it so much worse.

Zane being a robot being equal to autism is its own discussion. And has its own problems on paper alone. Whether or not this is your headcanon of him, and whether or not you think this is good representation either way is up to your feelings and experiences. (Personally I think it’s better than some live action shows attempting this)

The others don’t even seem to trust or want to be around him that much. The others seem annoyed by him half the time. Like they’re only tolerating him because he’s on their team. Yeah they don’t say that but simple looks and gestures are enough to get that impression. And not once does anyone ever express Zane’s value in their team. That’s the ONE thing that would’ve had me forgive this all.

But there’s my rant. The others?

Jay is mostly fine. I think this personality for the movie is a neat AU concept. Yes show Jay is openly terrified of things and awkward, but if there’s something he wasn’t was SHY.

Movie Jay is a shy and nervous wreck. And you know what? For a high school AU, I think it works. It doesn’t erase Jay’s essence entirely. They at the very least kept the detail of his character that he’s a fast learner.

I appreciate that.

Cole is actually a REALLY interesting concept to me with the AU idea they gave.

On the surface it’s just ‘He’s a DJ and willingly old school’

But if you see the show, this is actually an ODD approach. Because show Cole has a very complicated relationship with music.

In the show, Cole’s parents thrived in singing and dancing. His father specifically was a performer that won several awards with his band ‘The Royal Blacksmiths’. After Cole’s mother passed away, his father proceeded to push his ideals and his passions onto his kid and pressuring him to become another version of him. It got stressful enough that Cole ran away from home and resented music, something that used to be a bond of family for them, and that’s where Wu found him and made him a ninja.

Throughout the show, Cole would open up to music again more, but it’s pretty gradual and a very subtle bit of character development for him throughout the show. He doesn’t need to say “I hate making music” to get the point across. He only starts the music route again whenever it has something to do with making a family member, blood or not, happy.

So movie Cole is interesting to me for that reason. Because at the start, he basically IS a mini Lou. His whole thing is music and it’s heavily reflected on his personality.

To the point where his element in the movie isn’t even animated or portrayed as earth like it’s supposed to, instead it’s… sound waves?

Weird choice. Interesting one though cause maybe that’s just how movie Cole functions.

So it’s “Oh, what if Cole DID follow in his fathers footsteps and DID want to become a musician?”

Very interesting approach for a completely different approach of character development.

But the problem? Just like the others, not utilized.

But I do think this was an interesting AU idea. Is it accurate to the show version of the character? No. But that’s kind of the point I think.

Then there’s the RGB siblings. This is where it gets kinda weird for me.

Thanks to the movie, a lot of my friends mistook Kai and Nya for being twins.

They are not twins in the show. Kai is older.

I don’t think that dents their characters too much in the movie so long as the same points were across. They’re the blood related brother and sister who raised themselves when their parents abandoned them, and climbed out of the ashes to protect each other, and found a new expansion on their family that didn’t have to be blood related to count.

These two, in different ways, are the support of the team and especially Lloyd. They’re usually the lancer characters that Lloyd goes to when he can.

I still say that about Nya even though originally, she was NOT a ninja, but rather was a Samurai with a mech of her own invention that acted as a Tuxedo Mask for the ninja. She didn’t become the water ninja until Season 5.

Which… I know the movie takes heavy inspiration from the first two seasons, the beginning, so for those who haven’t seen the show watching the movie… yikes I feel bad about the lack of a spoiler warning. Same goes for Zane being a robot.

But I think that’s also a factor into Kai, at the former half of this show, (again I’m talking pre-movie with this). He was the first character we were introduced to and we’re following in the show before Lloyd ever showed up. So naturally he’d be the one with the most attention to supporting the Green Ninja. Something that was very vital character development for him individually as well.

He’s the old school one. He’s the cool one. He’s the one who looks out for you even if you don’t want them to. He’s the one that will jump to anything without thinking. He’s also the one with the most value in tradition out of the ninja, as a blacksmith instead of a techie and as a traditional sword fighter rather than a fancy complicated weapon. He doesn’t get involved in tech willingly till he learns Twitter is a thing.

And in the movie, I think they took this characterization and said “Eh, give it to the girl instead.”

So most of show Kai’s character traits are now movie Nya’s. She’s the cool one with the most passion for traditional stories, she’s the one with arguably the most talks with Lloyd to calm him, and she’s pretty loud and brash in personality.

Not saying show Nya is not those things, she is. But the difference in the show was that Nya was HUGE on independence and doing her own thing. Being the only woman and a younger sibling in the main cast is actually a big deal to her. Not wanting to have her destiny be decided by the world or her brother as a damsel in distress or a sacrifice, she took to tech to invent her own ways of helping. Her own character.

Until destiny told her “Actually no, you can’t be the person you want to be. You have to stick to tradition that your mother had and be the water ninja.”

That’s… honestly a very brutally honest message that not a lot of people I see give credit for. Cause yes, expressing yourself and being your own person and being able to make your own fate is amazing… but it’s not always possible.

Sometimes you can’t be the person you want. Sometimes the world just will not let you. That doesn’t mean your identity is worthless, though. If you go with the flow, you can actually find that fate has plans for you that might not suck after all.

Basically a ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ messaging there.

It’s part of why Nya’s whole thing throughout the show is her starting as a damsel trying to reinvent herself and her stereotype, and ending as a willing sacrifice and death of her whole identity that she doesn’t regret because she’s embraced the flow of life and purpose. Even if she forgets herself in the realm of spirituality, her loves one’s never will.

…Until Crystalized undid ALL of that. BUT LETS NOT.

Movie Nya just really isn’t any of that. She’s basically just her brother.

Which… I’m actually fine with. The show has some bumps in the road in execution of her story anyway. And they want the only female of this team to not be a background character cause that’s look bad. I totally understand that. And her being a sibling to Kai makes me forgive it a whole lot more cause it does make sense.

But again, we don’t know what their lives are like or if they have similar backstories to theirs in the show at all.

But where does that leave Kai?

Well his whole character in the movie seems to basically be “I’m the loud one and a complete klutz and meathead.”

Basically TD Tyler.

It’s a personality in the movie that bled in the show post movie. While I personally think it was not THAT bad in the show, Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu made me go “Okay. I understand now.”

As for movie Kai, that’s really about it.

It really was an early indicator of just giving Kai’s character traits to other characters. Before the show was visibly doing it.

Cause movie Lloyd is also basically just Kai but with a different backstory and context to situation. But honestly, I DO see what they were going for here.

As the ONLY ninja to get ANY focus, this version of Lloyd is well explained on what his life is.

In the show, he’s an abandoned child in an abusive boarding school who heavily idolizes his father, Lord Garmadon, and runs away to become a super villain. Only for Destiny to tell him not to, and we see his true colors and that he just wanted his family together and to love him. Something that was… hard. Considering who Garmadon is.

That is actually carried into the movie. Just cut out him running away. Here’s the difference.

Show Lloyd loves his dad and refuses to hurt him until he has to. While he is the Green Ninja, he didn’t resent himself being Garmadon’s son. What he resented was the destiny that took them apart.

Movie Lloyd HATES his dad for abandoning him, terrorizing the city, making said city cancel him for EXISTING, and he wants every excuse to shut this man out of his life forever.

That does make sense. And to the movie’s credit, the movie logic DOES work to make this version of Lloyd make sense.

It makes the movie pretty mean spirited and kinda unpleasant at times. But it works for the story.

I described Lloyd as ‘The Emo Child’. In the show. But that’s two words.

Emo. CHILD.

He’s still a kid. He’s still the youngest. He still has his own child-like wonder of the world and the aspirations that of a child would.

Yeah he’s a lot of angst. But he’s also a sweet kid who deserves hugs.

That’s not very apparent in movie Lloyd. Not that it needs to fit movie context.

But because we never see how the ninja in the movie got together, we have no idea why Lloyd even accepted being the Green Ninja in the first place. He even says in the movie that he’d give it up if it meant he didn’t have to be Garmadon’s son.

Movie Lloyd is the only ninja in this movie with an actual character arc. He resents his dad, tries to be rid of him, only to get consequences for it, goes on a quest to fix his mistake, bonds with his dad to learn he’s… sympathetic? I guess?? And in the end forgives his dad and chooses to let him in his life again.

Simple. Fine. It works on Lloyds end just fine. And I have to give credit for the movie making Lloyd resenting Garmadon more logical than Crystalized ever did.

It’s Garmadon’s end that just makes the whole thing a bad message in the end of ‘forgive your abusers.’

Yes he’s funny. That doesn’t undo his actions.

No it’s not undone in the show either, but at least you can buy the forgiveness there because every character knew that he had no choice.

In the show, Garmadon is the Oni Child of the FSM. Thus all it took was for another Oni creature, the Great Devourer, to trigger his blood and FORCE him into the evil role without his consent. It forced him to do nasty things to his loved ones and the land his dad created, and by the time he became his evil form, he was forcefully stripped away from all of his loved ones and a chance at normal life. So the only way he could ever get that back was to turn the world into his own image, thus having the world become him too. A monster.

The show made it abundantly clear that most of Garmadon’s evil deeds are either out of ambition for what he deems as helping the family, or not his fault at all due to snake venom influence.

I THINK the movie also has this because they do address him getting bit and becoming the creature he appears as in both versions.

Better than nothing I guess.

But then you get his ‘sympathetic backstory’ which is pretty much just a love story between him and Koko-

Yeah Lloyds moms name is actually different in both versions. And in role.

Misako abandoned her child to try and solve the destiny crisis, then returned to his life to help her kid out.

Koko remained a mother to her kid and supported him even when everyone hated him.

These are very different characters basically, and which one you prefer is up to you. Personally… I actually prefer the movie. I do think the mom was the one character that the movie actually improved upon. Especially with a very interesting story for her.

In the show, Misako is a researcher and just the fair maiden figure that Wu and Garmadon fell in love with. To which she chose Garmadon because of Wu’s letter that Garmadon forged his name on… it’s complicated.

In the movie, she was actually a fighter as well and took a part of the wars Garmadon was in. She enjoyed the thrill of the fight and fell in love with her opponent in a pretty cute montage.

But then they had a baby and her reality changed, realizing she could not raise her child on the battlefield. And when Garmadon refused to change his mind, she took Lloyd and left him behind. So she could be a mother.

Explains her actions in the movie all throughout very well and I never got lost when it came to her. She’s probably the one character in the movie I felt the most sorry for. She’s such a sweet parent and her interactions with Lloyd are probably the best parts of the movie. I wanna hug her.

But that’s all that’s shown of Garmadon. Apparently Garmadon was oppressed, but that’s told at the end and not shown or been significant at all.

They don’t hate you cause you look funky. They hate you cause YOU TERRORIZE THEIR CITY ON A DAILY BASIS AND SHOOT PEOPLE OUT OF A VOLCANO

Yeah show Garmadon did similar stuff, but again, WASNT HIS CHOICE.

Here, it’s absolutely his choice cause nothing indicated otherwise.

Garmadon doesn’t even PROCESS his kids existence or his own negligence three quarters of the time. And you expect me to buy a redemption from him?

You know, I’d be fine with it if he was just a one dimensional villain and the story of the movie was about Lloyd putting his energy away from a family that doesn’t care about him and more towards a surrogate one he has.

But no. You gotta have Lloyd forgive Garmadon and have Garmadon redeemed.

Cause that’s what the show did.

Even though this is supposed to be an AU not connected to the show so we can do whatever we want.

The most they do for Garmadon’s redemption is force him to be the mentor after Wu got yeeted off a bridge by a butterfly, have him go “Oh yeah, I DID shoot people out of a volcano!”, teach his son how to catch, and tell his son his backstory.

(Speaking if, Wu to me is basically the same. Just different voice actor delivery. I got nothing to say on him)

And then if that IS redemption, then he failed it. Because he offers Lloyd to be his general when they take over the city again, showing he’s learned nothing. Then when Lloyd says no, he steals their magic weapons and ditches them in a temple leaving them to DIE. Then he goes to terrorize the city again.

What redemption. /s

Again, this was all HIS choice. If it was not and if it was snake venom, they couldn’t at least give a visual cue or address it?

And now LLOYD has to apologize?

NO. LLOYD WAS RIGHT. THERES ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD LET HIS DAD INTO HIS LIFE. THE DAD HIMSELF PROVED THAT.

It just paints an unintentional bad message of ‘you have to forgive your abusers’

I’m sorry but Lloyd doesn’t owe this Garmadon anything.

I do like Lloyd’s VA delivery though, and the speech about green being the color of life. I actually like the idea of Lloyds power being his heart. Yeah it’s not flashy powers like in the show, but for an AU, it’s a really cool idea and I wish they used it more.

I have mixed feelings on the celebrity casting. Did I expect the original voice actors? No. But this casting wasn’t awful.

Garmadon’s VA is amazing in this movie. Jackie Chan as Wu is very subjective I feel, love it or hate it. Nya and Jay’s were really good too. I think the only one that didn’t work for me was Kai’s VA. Just… why does this teenager sound like a 50 year old man??

But honestly, I think the thing that got to me the most about the movie was something I praised about the show not too long ago.

The bond between the ninja.

I talked about how the show is a master class at character dynamics. There is almost no point where the characters are just standing there in one big clunk. Someone is saying something, someone is making a comment, someone is doing something, and it’s usually there for others to see and react to. It’s a very small thing, but it keeps the scenes alive and fresh the whole time and helps the audience be sold on the characters bond.

They don’t wait for the scenes of “Okay it’s time for characters to interact”. They just do it all the time.

And guess what the movie did? They’re just there in one big chunk all the time. With “okay it’s time for characters to interact” bits.

It’s one thing to not explore the other ninja at all. It’s another to ignore their bond.

In the show, they’re a found family. They all had rough upbringings in life and find a new sense of purpose in each other.

That’s NEVER emphasized in the movie except for one speech at the end Lloyd makes. Mostly cause we don’t know the other ninjas lives, and we don’t know how they even got together. Cause as I said, the movie starts at the middle, and awkwardly cuts after Garmadon is forgiven to be the end. We don’t know what it is about THIS ninja team that we should care about. It’s not shown.

All were shown is them being a team by circumstance only. Then Lloyd pulls out the cat laser and the cat nearly kills them. Then they hate Lloyd for it and spend the rest of the movie making fun of Lloyd.

Which yeah they make fun of each other in the show too, but where it ended in the show was playful teasing in the middle of moments that showed they cared about each other. And when one bond between two or more of them was broken, you felt it.

Here? I don’t know that and there isn’t anything besides the high school montage to show they cared. Just some comments about “Oh it’s okay Lloyd, it’s just awkward that your dad is a terrorist”. And then they make fun of Lloyds expense.

It’s mean spirited. It makes me think they don’t like each other. And it’s not like they ever apologize for it. They’re just teammates because Wu said so. They’re just tolerating Lloyd cause Wu said so.

Honestly the bloopers for this movie show more personality and more of this bond than the entire movie does.

…OOF that took awhile. I don’t even know why I did this, I just didn’t feel like sleeping. Uh… you read this, congrats. Idk why you did.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago movie #the lego ninjago movie #ninjago lloyd #lloyd garmadon #ninjago garmadon #lord garmadon #ninjago wu #sensei wu #ninjago kai #kai jiang #kai smith #ninjago misako #ninjago nya #nya smith #nya jiang #ninjago cole #cole brookstone #ninjago zane #zane julien #ninjago jay #jay walker