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charming-charlie · 4 years

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Like Father, Unlike Son

Title // Like Father, Unlike Son

Pairing // Evan Buckley x Reader

Warnings // Mentions of absentee parents. Mentions of sex. Maybe some other little triggers, especially toward our man ☹

Summary // Buck’s parents are in town. Are you sure you want to meet them?

Word Count // 2.7k

Prompt // Hey! Hope you're doing good! I don't know if you ccurrently do requests or not or if this is where to ask for them but I have one in case you do take them. Evan Buckley x reader where his parents come to town and they are really passive agressive towards him, complaining about his work and that he's "not as nice of a boy as he used to be" but he doesn't tell them to stop. Eventually they remark on his birthmark, hitting an old insecurity and reader comforts him? Thank you for your time! <33

Author’s Note // Okay listen writing this broke my heart. Someone fix it by sending me cute little Buck gifs <3

“What are you doing?” you asked your boyfriend, firefighter Evan Buckley, as he pranced around his loft apartment. Armed with a duster in one hand and a broom in the other, you would’ve made a bet with Maddie that he was dressing as Cinderella for Halloween. It was a weird sight to see because he was cleaning. The man was actually cleaning and you could not get over it.

You took your phone out and secretly snapped a few photos of Buck. He was dusting the top of the fridge and it just occurred to you… is that an area people are supposed to clean?

This was getting more and more strange.

You sent the photo to Maddie, who instantly replied, ‘all he is missing is an apron!’ with a few laughing-crying emojis. You smiled at her response, letting your brain picture the sight of Buck prancing around in an apron, holding various cleaning tools, like some 1950s housewife. You would’ve hung onto that ridiculous thought if Buck didn’t decide to speak up just then.

“I told you. My parents are coming. This place needs to be spotless,” Buck started dusting the undersides of the kitchen cabinets and you continued watching him. Your face was scrunched up as you followed his hand movements. Did Buck ever clean like this before?

For as long as you’ve known him, he never really mentioned his parents and that was not something you wanted to ask about unless he brought it up. Maddie mentioned a few things to you, in order to prepare you for the day, but it wasn’t much. Both Buckley parents were absent in their children’s’ lives, forcing Maddie and Buck to rely on each other while growing up. This would be the first time you’ve met them, and the first time Buck has seen them in who knows how long. This was a big deal. You thought you should be the one who is nervous. This would be the first time meeting the boyfriend’s parents and you needed to make a good impression. But Buck… he was acting like the world was going to end if the spout of the kitchen sink wasn’t properly polished. He was nervous enough for the both of you. Your job, which you were trying to settle into without overthinking, was to be calm and level-headed enough for the both of you.

That still didn’t stop the butterflies from moving full speed in your stomach.

When Buck started to pull out all the Tupperware containers and begin rearranging them in a new, organized, and super unnecessary way, you decided to intervene. Standing up, you made your way to your boyfriend and you slipped your arms around him, essentially hugging him from behind. Your head rested between his shoulder blades as you just held him in a comforting way.

Buck froze for a second and you could feel how tense and stiff he was. However, he instantly relaxed in your arms, like a weight had been lifted and you could sense a grin that splashed onto his face. He turned around in your arms, facing you while you hugged him at the waist.

He was taller than you by a good foot. Even if you stood on your tippy toes, you would not reach his lips, and damn did you want to right now. It was a good thing he knew you well enough to read your mind because he was thinking the same thing. He leaned down, much to your happiness, and placed the sweetest, softest kiss upon your lips. It was perfect, the way he dangled himself in front of you, leaving you wanting more and knowing you couldn’t reach him. He teased you in a way that made you both frustrated and excited.

“I know I’m acting crazy. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you,” Buck said as he captured your lips with his one more time.

The second kiss caught you by surprised, but you welcomed it. You leaned into him and your fingers instantly tightened and gripped his white shirt. You tried to let go, knowing his pressed white shirt and black blazer were for show and he wanted to make a good impression on his parents, but if you didn’t hold onto him, you were going to melt into a puddle of goo.

Imagine Buck trying to clean that up.

You grinned into the kiss as the new image that popped into your head, but it was short-lived. There was a knock on the door, five concise raps in a row. Buck instantly pulled away, and you caught a small, tiny look of fear in his eyes. He masked it by putting on a brave face but you knew him better than that.

“Go get the door, I’ll clean this up,” you told him with a gentle smile. You firmly nudged him toward the door and Buck reluctantly went to open it. You hurriedly put all the Tupperware containers back in their original cabinet, with organization going out the window. The door opened just as you shut the cabinet door, and you turned around on your heels and leaned against the counter, trying to act calm and casual.

You could hear the greetings and see the hugs before you saw the people. Buck’s parents appeared into view, smiling at their son, who you would’ve guessed they haven’t seen in such a long, long time.

First, you saw a woman. Her hair was tightly pulled back into an updo and she dressed in a business suit, paralleling her son in a semi-formal way. Following her was an older gentleman, dressed nearly identical as Buck. Apparently, looking proper was part of the Buckley charm. You must have missed that memo, since you were wearing jeans and a nice shirt, more casual than the Buckley family.

“You must be the one my son is so smitten with,” the woman replied with a smile. She made her way across the living area and into the kitchen, pulling you into a weird and awkward one-armed hug.

“I didn’t know firefighters could afford places like this,” the older gentleman said as he looked around.

You looked at Buck, who’s smile seemed to twitch with slight offensiveness. You knew he was proud of his job and you remember telling him that he loved his job more than you. Naturally, Buck denied that but played along and said his job kept him satisfied in ways that you couldn’t. You took it as a challenge and the two of you had mind-blowingly incredible sex that night. However, you were now cursing at your brain to abandon this train of thought at the station. You didn’t need to think about your sexual life with Buck while his parents were right there.

“I’m doing well for myself,” Buck said with a proud smile.

You nodded in agreement. Buck was doing good. He had a semi-stable job, he was healthy (especially after those blood clots in his leg that gave everybody a scare), and he was happy. Life was pretty good for him, and you could see how he was taking things all in stride.

“I thought you would have made something of yourself by now, Evan.” His mother spoke up. She was standing right next to you and it took every ounce of your strength to pull yourself together and not flash her a ‘what the hell did you just say????’ look. Instead, you kept your eyes on Buck, showing an obvious emotion of confusion.

Buck was certainly caught off guard by his mother’s words and seemed to be rendered speechless when his father chimed in with agreements.

“Firefighting is not a career, you know. I thought we raised you better than that,” his father said so casually, like he was making normal conversation and not offending his son by his choice of employment.

You felt a sense of dread swirling inside. You were longing to meet Buck’s parents and now you could not wait for them to leave.

“He does a very good job as a first responder. He saved countless people. Maddie also helps. It’s pretty great seeing the two Buck siblings take on the world together,” you said, trying not to cringe at how pathetic you sounded. Buck wasn’t speaking up, which meant that you had to take the reins and defend him. He deserves to be treated better than that.

“And to go so long without a phone call, or a letter, or even an email!” Buck’s dad was rambling as he walked around the apartment, staring at how immaculate Buck tried to make it, “would it have killed you to let us know what you’ve been up to? Seems like you just dropped off the face of the earth!”

If that wasn’t disgusting enough, the laugh that Buck’s dad gave shortly after sent your blood boiling. Was he finding this funny, calling his son out like this?

“You used to be such a nice boy,” Buck’s mother said as she approached her son, “but now it just feels like you and your sister enjoy ignoring us.”

How Buck was still standing was impressive to you. If it were you, some deep-rooted anger would have shot out right now and slapped his parents across the face. Buck told you bits and pieces about his parents. They were never there growing up. Their careers were more important than their children, leaving Buck and Maddie to sort of raise each other and look out for one another. It was not an ideal situation, and it broke your heart when Buck told you. He was visibly upset when it came to sharing details about his parents and you didn’t ask further questions.

But when Buck received a phone call from his mom, saying that both mom and dad will be in Los Angeles for a conference, you saw how excited he was. Hell, he was waltzing around the apartment, cleaning and tidying things up all week, after his mom mentioned that she would stop by for a visit with his dad. What was it all for? To be continuously kicked while he was already down?

“And this thing,” Buck’s mother said as her face scrunched in disgust, “you should get this removed. You would look much more handsome.” Her hand brushed against the birthmark on Buck’s face, and Buck instantly pulled back at the touch.

If you weren’t paying attention, you would have missed the part where Buck’s father actually nodded in agreement without having said anything. Your hands were shaking, and you stuffed them into the back pockets of your jeans, trying to keep your nerves in check. These people were Buck’s parents? This is how parents act toward their children?

Buck’s jaw clenched as he inhaled deeply, sending the worst disguised smile in his mother’s direction. “I wonder what’s keeping the food. I’m gonna check, be right back.”

He left the apartment, and you immediately felt like you were swimming in awkwardness. With Buck gone, they might pick on you next, and you were not going to let that happen. Racking your brain for an excuse, you settled with a simple one.

“Shoot, he forgot to grab the money to pay for lunch. I’ll be right back,” you flashed a friendly yet passive-aggressive smile in their direction and took off after your man, who was outside in the fresh air and taking deep breaths with his eyes closed, like he needed to practice meditation in order to calm down.

“Hey,” you said, grabbing him by the arm gingerly. He pulled back quickly, and his eyes popped open, but once he saw it was just you, he relaxed. “Sorry.”

He shook his head at your little apology. “Don’t be. Are you glad to have met them now?”

There was anger laced in his voice and, while you knew it wasn’t directed at you, it still stung a bit to be talked to like that. He could see it on your face and his features melted into pure apology as he reached for your hand. You let him take it, and he slowly tangled his fingers through your own. You let silence wash over the two of you, because that was what was needed right now. Sitting through lunch with those two people was going to be hell, and you wanted no part of it, but you needed to be there for him.

“You know,” you said, leaning into him a little. You couldn’t help it; he was like a magnet that always pulled you in. “You don’t need them. You have a loving, supportive family at the firehouse. Bobby and Athena can be your new parents. They already act the part.”

Buck let out a soft, sweet laugh. The fact that he found your little quip to be entertaining was music to your ears. “You don’t regret dating me, do you?”

You stared at him, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. The look on his face told you everything you needed to know. He was really asking. Apparently, his parents verbally beating him up made him question a lot of things. You frowned, thinking at how just a fifteen-minute conversation with Buck’s mom and dad could change almost everything about him, you, and your relationship.

“Of course not,” you responded evenly, without even having to think about it, “I love you for you. You can sometimes be dumb, you know this, but you have a true heart of gold. And honestly, Buck, you are hot as hell.”

He laughed again, this time deeper and genuine. He let go of your hand and pulled you into a sweet hug, holding you tightly against his chiseled physique. “I needed that, thank you.”

You pulled away from him just enough to look at his handsome face. “I mean it. You are perfect. Your parents haven’t seen you in years, they haven’t seen how much you’ve changed. I see you every day. I’ve seen the progression. I’ve seen the pain you went through to be who you are today, and I love you so much for it. Let’s just get through this lunch and send your parents on their way, and you never have to think about them again.”

It wasn’t the greatest speech, but it comforted him. His smile never wavered as he looked at you, soaking in the words as they left your mouth. He nodded in response, feeling a newfound sense of bravery seeping inside. “I’ll do it if you are by my side.”

“There’s no place I’d rather be,” you said, knowing exactly how cheesy that sounded. But you didn’t care.

Buck leaned in, claiming your lips against his own in a welcomed surprise. You went back to leaning on him, his arms snaking themselves around you as he kissed you. Your heart was beating erratically as adrenaline pumped through. Your head was slowly filling up with fog and you were losing all sense of direction. If he wasn’t holding you like he was now, you would have no way of knowing which direction was up. Everything was blurry and out of focus, and it was a state of euphoria that you loved being in.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for the Buckley residence? I have eighty dollars’ worth of Chinese food here,” someone’s voice squeaked into your thoughts, taking root much to your annoyance.

You pulled away from Buck’s lips, looking surprised. “Eighty dollars’ worth of food?” you couldn’t help but ask in shock.

“Okay listen, I was planning ahead,” Buck retorted with a smile. He shrugged like he did nothing wrong, like he was not guilty of spending so much money on a Chinese feast.

“Planning for what?’

“You and I aren’t going to leave the apartment for a couple days. The food is to help us replenish our strength.” He winked at you. Since when did he start winking at you?

“Are we working out or something?”

“Yeah, in bed.”

You slapped his arm with a gasp as he laughed and went to the deliver driver to collect the food. God, he was so good to you, and you had to smile at how happy he made you. The two of you could do this. You could both get through one afternoon with the Buckley’s because afterwards, it would be just the two of you again. No worries, no stress, no fear. You wanted that more than anything.

Despite a rocky start, you had a newer outlook on his parents. After all of this, there was one thing you knew for certain. Evan Buckley was not like his parents and you have never been prouder of him.

#Buck #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #buck x reader #evan buckley x you #9-1-1 #911 #oliver stark #writing request

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ratsoh-writes · 3 years

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My curiosity got me, so here is my submission for a match up. Sorry it’s so long! I look forward to seeing your reasoning.

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

MOM FRIEND: I’m the friend that is almost over prepared for any situation and is protective, usually keeping others out of too much trouble or danger, but not stopping them from doing that stupid thing. Some people will only learn from doing it and so long as it won’t seriously injure or kill them, go for it. And I mean I am seriously prepared for most situations: I have fluffy throw blankets and pillows in my car for those who get cold, extra towels just in case we somehow get wet, umbrellas/ponchos for those who need one, snacks/water just in case someone gets hungry/thirsty, first aid kit for small injuries, etc. Ironically, I am the only one without a kid so far.

Extension of this would be my habit to act as the friend “nurse.” Willing to spend hours taking care of a friend who isn’t feeling well and give platonic cuddles if needed.

Another extension of this is my need to feed anyone who comes over. I think my love language is acts of service after typing all this.

I’M LISTENING: Always willing to offer an ear, even if I don’t believe I can council you. Plus, for some reason, people just end up splurging life stories or something that is bothering them to me. My life is mostly spent as that Naruto meme: “I have no clue what is going on, but I’ll pretend that I do.” But I’m responsible about it, I won’t offer advice I’m not sure about and will usually refer you to someone else I feel is up to the task.

PATIENT: Earned after years in customer service dealing with toddlers disguised as customers and also with friends who far exceed my energy levels. It takes a good bit to anger me or very specific things to set me off, such as when I have asked you to please stop bringing up that stressful memory of mine again and again.

I am told I am terrifying when I’m actually pissed. Most times I don’t remember much when I actually snap, just that it happened, but details are fuzzy.

CHILL: My counselor once told me if I “Was any more laid back, I’d be on her floor.” And to a point, she is correct. My house was on fire and my reaction wasn’t panic at the time, it was this odd calm that even when I reported the fire to my sister and authorities, they didn’t believe me until I showed them said fire. I am reserved with those I don’t know well or are not comfortable around. Once I trust you or you get me on a topic I love, I’m surprisingly passionate and animated.

I feel this fits under here, but I also tend to do things at my own pace. And not much can change that pace, but I will get what I set out to do done.

WHY ME?: Too many people tell me I’m a natural leader, even got awards for it, but I never volunteer or want to be the leader in anything. Usually, I just end up in that role somehow, some way. Most times because I hate disorganized messes and those times the people I am with have trouble making concrete decisions and need some guidance to work out what they really want to do or the pressure to actually make a decision. I may be an unwilling leader, but I will step up if needed.

WHIMSICAL: Sarcasm, dry and sometimes cheesy humour, and an attitude to boot, but it’s rarely to be mean. Most times it is me being playful and if I’m teasing you, that usually is a sign I like you and enjoy your company. Plus, sometimes people need a little laugh or a spark of different emotion to get them out of a funk.

INTEGRITY: I could absolutely despise someone, but like hell I’m going watch them suffer. In the same sense, if I take a job, I will do it right and not half ass it. And far too many times I’ve had to step in and explain certain concepts in order to disperse negativity or help others see from another perspective to avoid adversity.

CUDDLE BUG: With people I am comfortable with, I am a cuddly person and do not mind a lot of skinship. I am used to friends hanging all over me. Plus, sometimes I just want to curl up someone as well.

STRENGTHS:

Observant

Good communication skills & honest

Responsible & reliable

Full Size Human Heater. I am ridiculously warm and always putting off heat. Friends and coworkers alike use me as a portable heater.

Surprisingly good at being sly and collecting information if needed, like getting a shoe or ring size without tipping the person off it’s for a gift. If they manage to call it, I always fess up and playfully make a fuss they ruined the surprise.

WEAKNESSES:

Terrible at lying, so I tend to simply keep my mouth shut instead

Willfully oblivious to flirting and absolute flustered mess once I am forced to recognize said flirting

Vast open waters terrify me

Tendency to keep my troubles to myself and try to solve problems on my own (don’t want to be a burden)

Can become despondent if I feel useless at times

HOBBIES:

ART: I’ve dabbled in several different medias, but my favorite is just a pencil or pen and any paper I can get my hands on. I love drawing figures in dynamic poses. Second favorite is sculptures built from wire.

COSTUMES: I love Halloween, since it is the perfect excuse to make and wear my homemade costumes. It also lets me challenge myself by making more complicated pieces like hooves, horns, and even chain mail.

BAKING/COOKING/CANDY MAKING: I’m the cook in the house and I love it. Seeing people enjoy my food is my favorite part. Just don’t ask me for a recipe, I literally don’t have any and I won’t remember what I did.

ORGANIZING/CLEANING: I love puzzle games like Tetris and Catherine, and I love a challenge. Combine the two by having me organize and rearrange a space to make it work and I am in heaven.

STORYTELLING: When a story needs to be told, I am the one asked to tell it. Specifically I have such an entertaining way of telling it according to others. Animated and colorful language, plus a few pit stops along the way with some side stories.

PET PEEVES:

CONTRARY: Do not tell me to do something while I am doing it. That will kill any motivation I had to do it.

BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS: It is possible to compliment someone without insulting them or others at the same time. It just makes the compliment feel empty and negative. And I tend to just hum and not reward that behaviour.

TOO MUCH ATTENTION: I don’t mind attention… from people I trust and are comfortable with. Feel free to cuddle and coddle away. But vast amounts of attention from those I feel are strangers or acquaintances will unnerve me (I have literally left functions immediately where I walked in and was bombarded with shouts and attention aimed at me-sensory overload I guess).

ODD HABITS:

NESTING: No, I don’t think I have enough blankets and pillows. Yes, the giant stuffed animal is needed and his name is Snuffie.

CRUSH ME: I’m serious, some days I need one of my friends or my bf to just lay all their dead weight on top of me. It’s just oddly therapeutic.

NO, I’M NOT PREGNANT: Just cause I ate that jar of olives in one sitting or suddenly was craving jalapeno juice and crushed ramen noodles. There are never enough pickles and yes, I am determined to try every kind–I may have a vinegar addiction.

IRONY: I bake some of the tastiest, sweetest desserts and make pralines and caramels, YET I myself do not favor sweet things.

HANDS: One thing I tended to do with nearly every boyfriend and guy friend I had was play with their hands and put their hands on my face/head. I lived for being pet and having people play with my hair.

NONVERBAL MOMENTS: Sometimes words are just too much, so I instead make sounds. Can be anywhere from a growl to a cat like noise, or the reliable “Nyeh.”

NO NOs:

I think I listed a few as I went through everything else, but ignoring boundaries is the main one. If I tell you I’m not comfortable with something, do not make me repeat myself. And usually that something is given a pass the first few times it is done before I say something and explain why I’m not comfortable with it.

Example: I have thick, curly hair, a product of my mixed heritage. Well, sometimes I like to straighten it and I did just that one day. Well, a coworker decided to make a backhanded compliment, stating I should stick to what works: straight hair over my natural hair. I had gotten on him about it, but I decided to vent to a friend about what happened as well. She proceeded to constantly repeat those hurtful words and while I knew she meant it playfully during those times, I had to stop her and sit her down, explain I don’t find it funny cause the words are linked to a hurtful, possibly racist memory that I didn’t want brought up again and again. Thankfully she understood and stopped. So, I don’t snap immediately and I understand sometimes a sit down needs to be done.

Ok first of all I gotta say that I absolutely loved reading your matchup!!! It’s so well organized, detailed, and the descriptions are pretty creative!!! Do you do any writing yourself, because you should!!! alright, geek out moment over.

i’ve got three guys you’re perfect for, but let’s go for the obvious one. HONEY!!

You’ve checked off everything on honey’s list: caring, organized, laid back, and good for cuddling. Now here’s what he has to offer to the table: he will cuddle you back. This guy is the ultimate cuddle slut. You’ll never feel unloved with him. Honey is also a very thoughtful and appreciative guy. He likes caring for his partners. You may be the mom friend, but he’ll do his best to return that love as well.

Honey is a little awkward, but he’s also sensitive and empathetic to how others feel. If he puts his foot in his mouth, just tell him and he’ll never bring it up again. Plus this guy is just so honest and genuine that backhanded compliments aren't really a thing with him.

Also you like costumes!!! He’s always wanted to try cosplay or theatre. You just might be the person to give him the courage to finally stick to one.

dating honey includes:

cuddles upon heaps of soft things. He has his own collections of ridiculously soft blankets and pillows that he’ll happily add to your collection. Honey is also a master at pillow forts.

honey is a good listener. He’ll be happy to just sit back and enjoy the stories you tell. There is start though, who is also the storyteller of the underswap home. Any funny story you give about your time together will be rewarded by star with a funny story from his and honey’s childhood, much to honey’s embarrassment

if you don't really like sweet things but love baking them, then honey and star will happily finish them for you. People are usually surprised about how just how much skeleton monsters can pack away.

he’s a picky eater and will give you the wtf face when you fufil your weird cravings though lol

Oh! Also if you’re wondering, the other two would’ve been either oak or coffee

#undertale imagines #underswap #matchups #submission

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cozywritings · 4 years

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Stitches: ch 2 Put Your Head On My Shoulder

You woke up to the sun in your eyes, the blinds open just enough to live up to their name. The stream of light temporarily blinded you until you looked down at Shawn, who in the night, had moved completely on top of you.

While his warmth was welcomed, you had to fucking pee. So you tapped him gently on his shoulder, whisperingas not to startle him or wake the other students who were still asleep. “Shawn. Shawn hey, I’ve gotta pee. Please get up.” you said a few times in an attempt to wake the handsome boy on you.

When he finally woke up, he looked so embarrassed. His cheeks were a deep red and he instantly rolled off of you, his curls flopping all over the place. “Fuck I’m so sorry. I- I didn’t mean to-“ you almost couldn’t breathe through your quiet laughing.

“It’s okay, really. I would’ve just gone back to sleep, but I have to pee really bad and you weren’t moving any time soon.”

The two of you stood up and made your way towards your rooms, folding the blankets as your walked. “I’m gonna go shower, I’m supposed to show you around today.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking down at the stairs as you made your way up to the third floor. “Oh you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you want to study or something.” You started but he was quick to interrupt.

“No no I offered to show you. And I’m going to. Just let me clean up and we can go get breakfast and I’ll show you the best places around campus.” At the mention of getting breakfast together, your eyes widened and your blushing became more noticeable.

“Wow, already taking me to breakfast. You’re pretty confident.” As you spoke, you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to cover up the fact that your chest was flushed.

He let out a chuckle, “I figured it was the right thing to do, considering we slept together.” He ended his statement with a wink before the two of you stepped to your sides of the hallway to get ready.

“So I’ll pick you up at 10?” He asked and you smiled, nodding while you opened your door.

“I’ll see you then.”

---

“Okay so that’s the best library on campus.” Shawn said, pointing to an all glass building. “It’s got the best light and also, during midterms and finals, they have puppies in the back section to help students relieve stress. It’s also a way for the shelter to get the dogs adopted.” You couldn’t help the squeal of excitement at the idea, and he looked over at you smiling.

“That's the cutest thing ever! How many do they usually have?” Your brain now on puppy mode.

He just shrugged “I don’t really know. I’m allergic to them, so I’ve never gone.”

“That is the saddest thing I think I’ve ever heard. I don’t think I could live my life without puppies. Even though I have a cat, but still.” He laughed, putting an arm around you and walking you towards the student center to help you find your textbooks.

The two of you continued to walk around campus for a few more hours. Shawn showing you all the best places for food and where to study to avoid the wind blowing your papers away. He even showed you where your classes were so you weren’t totally lost next week when classes started. Eventually, you had stopped for lunch halfway through, getting pizza from a little place in the main lunch hall.

As the two of you started making your way back to the dorms, you got nervous. “So, um, there’s a welcome dinner tonight that the fashion department is throwing for some students and I was invited to go.” you started, not completely sure how to phrase the next part “... and, well, you’re allowed one guest. You’re technically supposed to bring a parent or significant other, but my parents weren’t able to stay. Mom’s job called her back and she took the next flight back home to Austin.”

You we’re now staring at your shoes, admiring the tan suede ankle boots and the top of your red socks peeking out. “Do you think you could go with me?? I don’t really know a lot of people yet and like I said my mom was gonna go but work called her back so, yeah. If tgat’s weird I get it, you’ve only known me a few hours and-”

Your rambling was cut off by Shawn who tilted your head up by your chin. “Of course I’ll go with you.” He smiled, and you noticed he was blushing almost as hard as you were. “But usually I’m the one asking for the first date.” That threw you off.

“It-um it’s a formal dinner so um, I guess, dress nice?” He nodded, taking a mental note of your instructions before pulling you along to the dorms again, telling you that the tour was almost at an end. “I can do formal. The medical department does something like that once a year to commemorate the top and most promising students. I was invited last year.”

Now standing in front of your doors, you were about to turn to your own when Shawn cleared his throat. “I haven’t shown you the best place to study yet.” He announced before opening the door to his own dorm and waving towards it.

You took a step inside, and looked around. He had a whole organizer of highlighters and sticky notes, index cards and extra notebooks as well as snacks and a speaker. “This is the absolute best place to study.” He stated proudly. “I’m always studying here unless some of the guys want to do a study group in one of the group rooms in the building or something. You’re also more than welcome to study here if you don’t want to study alone or you could take some tips from my station and create your own perfect study table in your own dorm. Which reminds me, do you still need help with rearranging? We could do it right now and you can finish your decorating before tonight.”

“Actually I’d really appreciate it. Then maybe I can be completely finished before I have to get ready for tonight.” Shawn just grabbed your wrist and tugged you towards your own room to help. It only took twenty minutes for the two of you you get everything up and your tv on h=the dresser.

Your room was now completely finished. After Shawn had moved your bed, he helped you put up the things you couldn’t reach, like your poster of the sketches for the Victoria Secret fashion show last year. You’d gotten it from your trip to New York City earlier in the summer.

“Alright, I shall leave you to prepare for tonight. You said it’s black tie, right?” He asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Mhm. It starts at 7:00, so be ready about 6:15?” He gave you a quick thumbs up before walking out of your room and closing your door gently.

Looking over at your clock you groaned; 4:35. Guess it’s already time to start getting ready. So you chose a dress and the perfect heels, and hopped into another shower to wash off the sweat from walking around and all the decorating.

“Okay so do I want to curl it? Or a sleek ponytail? And is red lipstick too much or what?” You babbled on to Emily as she sat on your bean bag chair, sipping a green tea from the on campus Starbucks.

She looked between you and the dress you had hanging on the back of the door. “Put the dress on for me?” She asked, pointing to the silky red fabric.

So you walked over and slipped it on, looking over at Emily who had a shocked look on her face. “Oh, my god. That looks amazing on you. And you’ve got the most handsome guy in the building to be your date!?” Her face scrunched in excitement as she clapped her hands.

“He’s not my date. He just…. agreed to go with me. And wear a suit and tie.” Your voice trailing off as you put your robe on to cover the dress as you finished getting ready. You decided with a curled have up style, going for more of a Blake Lively at the 2014 Met Gala

It was now 6pm, Emily had already left and now you’re ready to go get Shawn. But before you do, you take one last look in the mirror. Your makeup was absolutely perfect, and you were positive nothing has ever fit you better than that red silk dress, thank god for your ability to tailor clothing. But before you could leave, there was a knock on the door.

You opened it to find Shawn, in a black suit, adorning a silky black bow tie and a gorgeous smile. “Wow, you look- absolutely amazing.” He choked out, obviously not prepared to see the dress.

“You don’t look too bad yourself. Are you ready for this? Are you sure you want to do this?” He extended this arm as a response.

You smiled, placing your arm in his and closing your door. “Look I was going to ask you on a date after the tour today anyways. You just beat me to it. Of course I want to.” The blush that creeped up your neck was probably noticable as you made your way to his car.

----

Walking into the dining hall that the department had rented for the night, you audibly gasped. Well, balcony was the better word. It was so elegant and there were so many really important people in the room that you needed to impress. Department leaders, possible future internship options with buyers and even industry leaders, just to name a few.

“Invitation ma’am?” The usher asked, holding out his hand. You showeed him the paper, smiling as he lead the two of you to your table, where you were sat with some girls you’d seen at the movie night.

When the chair next to yours moved, you looked over to see Kyle and what looked to be his sister taking a seat. “Oh my god you look stunning!” He exclaimed as he realised you were next to him.

You smiled, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Thank you, but doesn’t my date look so much better?” You asked, motioning to Shawn who was currently talking with one of the other guys as the table.

Kyle’s eyes went wide when he saw Shawn. “You mean… that’s your boyfriend??” You shook your head quickly.

“Oh no, he just was nice enough to be my date since my mom couldn’t make it.” He gave you a smirk and an “mhm” before introducing you to his sister. It turns out that she was actually attending Stanford for Law, but she wanted to come so Kyle asked her to join.

Dinner went well, you learned a lot about Shawn and how intelligent he truly was. It was almost intimidating all he’s accomplished in just 21 years of life. You just learned his birthday was only a week agao. Not only was he smart, but he also seemed really interested in what you did. All the designers you liked and how you hoped to get a job in New York, all in all it was turning out to be a wonderful evening and first date.

When the dinner portion was over it was time to party. They brought out a dj and cleared out some of the dining tables to make room for the dance floor

“Would you like to dance?” You looked up to see Shawn, his arm outstretched “I’m not very good but I feel like it’s an obligation.” He added as you placed your hand in his and stood up, letting him lead you onto the dance floor, saying a goodbye to Kyle.

Just as you approached the floor, Paul Anika’s Put Your Head on My Shoulder started. The both of you laughed as you swayed to the older song, your head literally resting on Shawn’s shoulder as you danced, just getting lost in the music

‘Put your lips next to mine dear, won’t you kiss me once, baby. Just a kiss good night, maybe. You and I will fall in love.’

Apparently those words sparked something in Shawn, as he pulled back, pressing his lips to yours as he dipped you back. “I- I’m sorry that was so.” He sputtered, eyes wide as if he was embarassed about what he did.

“Shhhh do it again.” You smiled, placing your hand on his jaw and closing the gap. You wanted to kiss Shawn forever.

The drive back to the dorm was interesting. The two of you holding hands and giggling at absolutely nothing, just high off of the night and the sheer intensity of what happened on the dance floor. While neither of you wanted to admit it, you felt something in the kiss. And the neo after that. And the ten after that.

But the one thing the two of you didn’t know, what that those lyrics weren’t just lyrics. They were possibly speaking the future for you.

When you got to your doors, you stopped, turning to see Shawn, curls matted to his forehead and his bow tie was slightly off kilter. His smile was one of pure adoration, why, you have no idea. You were positive that your hair was a mess and your lipstick was most likely gone, some was still staining Shawn’s lips and a little of his shirt.

“Well, I guess this is good night.” He said, placing a hand on your lower back. “One more kiss for the road?”

Instead of answering, you grabbed his jacket and pulled him in for a quick kiss before swiftly opening your door and leaving Shawn dumbfounded in the hallway.

He stood there for about 30 seconds, blinking, just trying to figure out what happened before he let out a chuckle and walked into his own dorm. Tonight was definitely one of the best of your life. Probably Shawn’s too.

Now sitting on your floor, the first thing you did was pull out your phone. “Emily. You’re never going to believe what happened tonight.”

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #Shawn writing #shawn fluff #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes fic #college shawn #med student shawn #my fic #stitches

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notthatiwilleverwriteit · 4 years

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I don't know if I'm the only one, but I love she li character. I'm totally against what he's done to mo and he should be held accountable, but I still love his character and want to know more about him. His first fight with he tian, I was so curious to know why he seemed to enjoy it and even licking the blood from his lip, from then on I wanted to know his story. And I dont think he should be paired up with someone in the story it would ruin his whole esthetic. what are your thoughts about him?

Hello, dear anon!

This answer could weird out some people, so...Uh. Consider yourselves warned, I guess? It’s pretty much downhill from here on.

I’m sorry it took me so long to get to your ask. Thank you for your patience!

Do I have thoughts about SL? ...Let’s just say “a lot” is the answer:

My favorite 19 Days character(s)

My favorite 19 Days chapter(s)

SL’s bracelet

SL’s lip piercing

SL and ships:

My 19 Days NOTP (why I don’t ship MGS and SL)

My thoughts on SL and JY

My thoughts on SL and JY (vol. 2)

My thoughts on SL and HC

My thoughts on SL and Cuntou (Buzzcut)

My thoughts on SL’s sexuality

SL and MGS’s story:

Backstory revelation

SL and MGS’s development (the beginning vs. the train station scene)

That’s quite a reading list, but if you’re interested in my SL-related thoughts and mullings, I recommend checking out those previous posts. It’s possible I will repeat some things I’ve already talked about but this time I’m not going to give an overall brief summary. It would probably end up being anything but brief.

“I'm totally against what he's done to mo and he should be held accountable, but I still love his character and want to know more about him.”

This is partly why I’m hesitant to say I love SL’s character because I feel like I have to follow that with a small disclaimer that no, I don’t condone his behavior. I find him endlessly intriguing, complex, and layered. Every time he appears I never know what will happen and he always instantly steals the scene for me. I’m drawn to his darkness and disturbed, impossible-to-predict ruthlessness.

In addition to that, my “love” for him also goes deeper. I always feel like a weirdo talking about this but I see some of myself and my own shortcomings in SL’s character. Jealousy and envy. The misery loves company mentality. I don’t go around manipulating and threatening people but on some morbid level, his character allows me to go to that dark place and almost relish in all the disturbing thoughts I can muster. To me, some of the rawest and primitive parts of human nature are embodied and amplified in his character.

“His first fight with he tian, I was so curious to know why he seemed to enjoy it and even licking the blood from his lip, from then on I wanted to know his story.”

SL almost enjoying the fight and licking the blood are interesting notions that I haven’t really thought of before (ch. 184):

I’m glad you brought this up because I’ve been wanting to talk about SL and fighting ever since MGS mentioned how SL had a reputation of being “very vicious in fights” (ch. 319). I saw people thinking that was because of his Guillain–Barré syndrome. And sure, I’m not saying that couldn’t be the reason or a part of it. After all, we don’t know how far along his treatment was by that time. If you don’t feel pain as well as others, I can imagine you’re more fearless in fights.

However, I think his “viciousness” was more about SL’s overall nature. I mean, he picked up a heavy whiskey bottle and smashed someone in the head with it and didn’t seem to even blink. He was unpredictable and didn’t shy away from taking things further than probably most kids his age. Nothing was really off-limits for SL and whoever opposed him could never know what his next move would be. If you’re fighting someone and they lick their own blood - looking like they’re almost savoring the taste - I think you might want to start coming up with an exit plan. SL has a disturbing, cold-blooded aura as a fighter, and cruel, dirty violence is his style.

I’m also interested in MGS mentioning SL had transferred schools. We don’t know if he already had group-affiliations in his new school but imagine if he didn’t. Did he take over a group as an outsider by vicious violence? Did he make his own group from scratch?

“I dont think he should be paired up with someone in the story it would ruin his whole esthetic”

I don’t personally ship SL with anyone “in canon” as in I don’t think he has canonical romantic/sexual feelings for anyone in the comic. I don’t interpret his possessive behavior with MGS as romantic jealousy. Nor do I think he’s interested in JY in a romantic way. That being said, I do believe anyone is free to ship whatever they and however they want, so I don’t know about “shouldn’t be paired up with someone”.

But I think I get what you mean. I think if he had romantic feelings for someone we’re familiar with in the comic it would skew his character. “Interrupt” him, in a way. I’m not saying SL couldn’t be in a romantic relationship or even love someone but I’m not sure if that kind of “side-track” would quite fit how his role in the story has been built up so far. I would love to see more sides to him, but romantic love would feel too forced. It would kind of make me tilt my head and go “huh?”.

I feel the same way about his redemption. Again, I would love to know more about him and what’s going on in his head and heart and life general. What made him like this and what makes him tick. But I don’t know if I want him to be redeemed that way in the boys’ eyes. I kind of want him to stay as the villain to them. If they somehow started to see SL from a different light, it would kind of make his character “hollow” and crumble in on itself.

As far as my ships for SL go, I ship him with Cuntou (MGS’s Buzzcut friend) and HC. However, those ships are purely “AUs” in my head in a sense that I know they have no base in canon. I basically run with the characters and the scenarios build for them are for my own self-indulgence.

Because I couldn’t really give you any new “thoughts” but a reading list instead, let me try to make it up by raving about some of my favorite SL panels:

“We are here” (ch. 178):

I’ve always wondered what kind of an underling SL is. He might be the leader of his own group at school, but even SL must have a boss. Especially given that organized groups are heavily based on hierarchy and seniority.

But I can’t help but wonder how that kind of power dynamic works with SL. What do his superiors think about him? Do they know about his disturbing, unpredictable side? Do they feel like they have control over him? Have they ever taken advantage of his vicious side and kind of “let him loose”? Does his boss know how to handle him? And what about SL’s POV: Does he respect his superiors or just does what he’s told? What could make his obedience stop? What he would do if his superiors insulted him or somehow screwed him over?

Either way, I’m fascinated by seeing SL in a submissive position, taking orders from someone else.

“Jian Yi? Is it...” (ch. 179):

The thing I love about this panel is the tempo/rhythm/whatever-you-call-it of SL’s words. I can hear how he said them in my head. Where he paused and let there be a moment of silence that kind of rearranged the dynamic of the situation. JY had barged in and momentarily stolen the flow and control. He went all out talking back to SL and pointing him and being all JY-y. That little tilt of SL’s head, that short pause he had kind of flipped it back SL being in control. When he says “Jian Yi? Is it...” it has a dangerous vibe. As in, “Are you really sure you want me to notice you?”. That is a question asked by someone who’s mentally in control of the situation.

I can hear those speech bubbles in my head.

“Lick it clean for me” (ch. 203):

Do I even need to justify why I love this panel?

Aside from the obvious, I love this panel because it gives me strong “zero fucks given” vibes. I doubt SL was expecting JY to obey him but saying that kind of stuff fits his character perfectly. Unpredictable and difficult to tell if he’s being serious or not.

Thrown out (ch. 249):

This panel will never not amuse me. Every time I see them being thrown out like that, especially SL, I hear a “Pew!” bing in my head. Like the nurse had flicked them with her middle finger and thumb and shot them out of the room.

Pouring Coke (ch. 267):

Another panel that makes me think about SL being in a submissive position, overpowered. The idea of overpowering and submitting his kind of crazy fascinates me. A part of me wants to see him dominated, sullied, and made to take it. (Just to make sure I’m not misunderstood, I don’t mean “it” in a sexual way.) Like, I imagine the carbonated Coke stinging in his eyes. It’s more foam and fizz than actual liquid as it pours down his face. It makes him uncomfortable and wanting to try to wipe it off with his shoulder when the trickles slide down the side of his neck but he can’t. When Coke is spilled like that it goes from a nice, enjoyable beverage to a sickly sweet, sticky substance that kind of grosses you out.

This is a panel that always makes me think of shipping SL with HC.

[...I warned you it would get weird.]

Wandering in the hospital (ch. 294):

If you weren’t weirded out enough yet...

Every time I see these panels I’m reminded of being like that as a child. I remember my grandparents sometimes had to stay at the hospital when they got sick. When I went to visit them with my mom I had this habit of wandering off by myself. I could walk the ward through multiple times and just...kind of...be morbidly interested in watching the sick people in their beds. And of course, as a kid, I had no problem with openly staring at them, too. The sicker, the better. I wanted to see tubes going in and out of body orifices, wounds and stitches, bandages that have that faint shine of blood seeping through on the back when they’re due to a change. If you gave me an old person just laying in bed with their mouth open and not even being in this world anymore because they’re so old and ill, you could just sit me down and go take care of whatever parents need to take care of.

I’m not saying SL was like that but him silently wandering off always reminds me of how I was a kid.

Encounter (ch. 294):

I’ve talked about this panel quite a lot already, so I won’t go into it more in this answer. But I will say it’s probably my most favorite panel of the whole comic.

“I almost forgot” (ch. 317):

As weird as it sounds to point this out when talking about SL’s character, but I think SL was lying in this panel. Although, I guess a better way to put it would be to say it wasn’t his “usual” lying. I think he was lying about forgetting he had given MGS the piercings to make it look like he didn’t care about such trivial matters. That violating MGS like that and basically marking him as his property hadn’t meant anything to him. Seeing MGS wear HT’s earrings irked him but he’s lying about it. MGS inching further and further away from SL’s grasp is getting to him but I think this was the first time he’s trying to hide it.

Because I believe he remembers piercing MGS. I bet he remembers it vividly.

I think this panel and the way he lashed out at HT with the knife without having any regard for the consequences are interesting details that maybe SL’s mask is slipping. He’s getting more out of control. Almost desperate, I would say.

So yeah, I would say I have a few thoughts about SL.

Thank you for your question, dear anon! And for your patience as well.

#19 days #she li #answered ask #I didn't expect this to get so long...#given that I've ranted about him so much already

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omgreading · 4 years

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2020 Goals Update #247-250: September 3rd-6th

September 3rd:

Watched a couple episodes from Dance Moms S4 (so many episodes)

Went to bed

Got up because it was hot and then hung out with my mom in the living room just chatting

Ate dinner

Read Rebecca for 1h 21m 11s and read 72 pages

Wrote a quarter of a page in my journal

It was a hot day as the A/C was slowly messing up. It exhausted me for most of the day and I was trying to figure out a way to not be so damn miserable. I stayed up for as long as I could and then laid down, hoping I would just pass out from exhaustion and get through the very hot night.

September 4th:

Got up at midnight and had an ice-cold shower to cool off and energize myself because I was so hot and hadn’t slept

Sat at my computer with a big fan aimed on me and finished S4 of Dance Moms

Watched the new episodes of Big Brother 22 with my mom

Rejoiced when the A/C was fixed around 4 PM

Read Rebecca for 31m and read 25 pages

Wrote half a page in my journal

This day just sucked so damn much. I got maybe 45 minutes of sleep since I had laid down and I finally gave up trying because I thought I would stay hot as long as I was laying down. I dressed in my coolest clothing and sat in front of a fan either in the living room or my room trying to be as comfortable as possible. Took the dogs outside and let them play in their pool, it was cooler outside than inside the house. The A/C repairman arrived around 4 PM and fixed it fast. The freon line had a leak and all the freon has been slowly leaking out it until it was gone, which was why it was getting hotter and hotter each day. He repaired the line and filled it back up. It took another four hours before it cooled down. I read Rebecca and did my journal entry and then went to bed because I was just so damn tired.

September 5th:

Got up at 8 AM after getting sleep, FINALLY

Ate breakfast

Started tidying my room up again, I am slowly getting there

Started S5 of Dance Moms and watched two episodes

Started BB 16 over with my mom. We never finished the season, and we watched two episodes

Read Rebecca for 4h 1m 13s and read 233 pages

Wrote a quarter of a page in my journal

This was a great day. I woke up feeling refreshed and energized after getting a great night’s sleep! It wasn’t too hot to clean anymore, so I worked on my room and continued going through my totes and sorting out what I wanted to put in the shed. Watched TV by myself and then with my mom. Read Rebecca for most of the evening and finished it. I got ready for bed not too long after I finished.

September 6th:

Got up early, again

Ate breakfast

Helped my mom build two of three bookshelves we still had left to build

Had a video chat with my sister while we did that

Watched an episode of Dance Moms from S5

Put the shelves in my room and started rearranging my books

Read City of Lost Souls for 52m 55s and read 67 pages

Wrote half a page in my journal

Another good day, mostly because it was productive. I helped my mom build the shelves as much as possible. She says I get in her way sometimes. Had a nice long video chat with my sister and showed her all the ways we were getting the house clean and organized. My sister says that it looks like we just moved in and are still unpacking. AFTER TWO YEARS!! Hopefully, it will look more like a home soon enough. Once the two shelves were finished, we got them in my room and started rearranging my books. I didn’t finish because I am taking my time and going through all of my books and putting them exactly where I want them. All the times I’ve put them away before, I was kind of in a rush. I want to make them the best shelves they can be!! I started my new book and got in a bit of reading. I went to bed around 10 PM; I think.

Today will be about organizing even more and continuing my book.

#booklr #bookblr #bibliophile #bookworm #bookish #2020goals #2020update #rebecca #city of lost souls #dance moms #big brother #bb22 #bb16 #text #omgposts #cleaning my room

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fandoms-equal-life · 5 years

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Rewriting Their Stars Once Again - The Greatest Showman Fanfiction

Chapter 7: Family Matters

Originally Posted on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13365846/chapters/45440608#workskin

Summary: What will happen when Anne visits Phillip's family home?

Notes:

This took like 3 hours to write.

I wrote it at work and every time my co worker walked behind me I was worried he was reading it 😂 I don’t even know how I would explain myself.

Also let me know if the part where Anne visits the Carlyles’ is insensitive or weirdly worded. I might be big mouthed and opinionated, but I am not looking to offend anyone. I am only here to write fanfic to fulfill my lonely heart.

Also I am sorry I am so inconsistent. It is my goal this month to finish this fic and I am really trying to finish my goals for once! Thank you for the continued support!!❤️

The next two months were tough.

Anne was so sick, the morning sickness turned into all day sickness and there was not much food she could keep down. If Anne got out of bed for any other reason but to empty her stomach, it was a good day.

On top of that, her stomach was very large. She knew this should not be a shock to her, but when she sees herself in the mirror, she is still in disbelief. A seamstress came over just to make her custom dresses, and even P.T. used his childhood work as a tailor to make a couple items of clothing for her.

She needed to use the restroom all the time, her feet were getting larger, and her ankles and fingers were swelling. She had to start wearing her wedding ring on a chain around her neck.

The doctors’ visits every 2 weeks were difficult to endure. Dr. Turner would never let her walk in by herself, instead making her a wheelchair. Also, he could only give so much information about what was happening inside her body. Triplets were complicated for the highest paying doctor, let alone one who would see Anne.

But the hardest part of it all was Phillip could not always be there. With the circus struggling, he was swamped with work to make sure it is kept afloat.

Thankfully, she had a big family to fall back on. When Charity alone took her, the trips were fairly easy. Sometimes she had to bring the girls, which were usually filled with endless questions for the doctor, Helen once asking “Will all three of them come out at the same time?”

Charity had to leave the room with them before Dr. Turner could give an answer.

When Lettie brought her, she usually brought Tom along as backup. His loud mouth scared anyone away who might bring them trouble. Tom is so protective, that he stands directly outside the door during the checkups.

The other doctors and nurses tend to stay away on the days Lettie and Tom come along.

Do not even get Anne started about the time P.T., Caroline, and Helen accompanied her. The doctors requested that P.T. never step foot in their office again.

Even with all of this going on, Anne and Phillip were very excited. They wanted to grow their family, but, the looming danger of the end of the pregnancy and the delivery still loomed over the couple.

Anne and Phillip kept themselves distracted from this fact. They each joined the bet on which sex would outnumber the other (Anne thinks there will be more boys, while Phillip bet on more girls), Phillip and P.T. rearranged the furniture in the apartment to fit the three cradles, and Anne organized the gifts they were still receiving every day. The list of baby names becomes longer as the pregnancy becomes shorter. Anne likes family and classic names, but Phillip wants whole new names for his kids. Their family at the circus has new names suggestions every day, but only a few make it onto the real list, especially after Tom insisted that naming one of the potential boys after his horse in the show would be a great idea.

One night, when Anne and Phillip were sitting in their apartment, she asked why he was not in favor for family names.

“After that night at the theater, I have no desire to be associated with them anymore. The Carlyle name is something I wish I could rid myself of. I know they are going to take my last name, but other than that, I want something new.” Phillip explains with a soft smile. “I know that you never knew your mom and dad, but my family is not anything to be proud of.”

“Would you reconnect with your family if they came to you?” Anne asked.

“Maybe my little brother Daniel, but I’m not sure. Before I left and was disowned, he had rejected our father. I was the first born with all the privileges, and Daniel resented father for that. Last I heard that had all changed after he took my place as prize son with the inheritance. I assume he took my father’s side along with mother and the rest of my extended family, which is most likely why he did not attend our wedding.” Phillip told her.

Anne looked at him with soft, apologetic eyes. Anne knew that Daniel missing the wedding hurt Phillip. She thinks Phillip hoped for them to reconnect, that he could introduce Daniel to his new family and to the love of his life.

“But that is all behind me. Now I have a big and loving family and three little ones on the way.” Phillip says, kissing her protruding stomach. “Are you ready for bed?” he asks.

“Almost. You go get ready first then you can help me and my added baggage” she replied, pointing to her stomach.

He laughed and nodded, then walked into their bedroom, Anne got up to write a letter to their doorman to call a carriage for her as soon as Phillip walked out the door. She had a plan.

The carriage dropped Anne off at one of the largest houses she had ever seen.

It was beautiful.

The Carlyle house was painted all white, with big pillars holding up what Anne could only guess was 3 stories. They had big windows that would let plenty of natural light in, and Anne could see through the windows how ornate the inside looked. The lawn was well manicured, with flower bushes lining the front and big looming trees growing on the outside of the house, almost like a wall in between the other houses. She noticed that while it was stunning, that was negated by the cold atmosphere that seemed to surround the house.

As Anne was observing the house, she noticed one of workers in the lawn trimming the bushes. It was obvious that he was overworked and sunburnt, and most importantly:

He looked like her.

This brought her back to the reality of the situation. She was not home with her loving husband, or surrounded by her other oddities at the circus, she was standing in front of a wealthy white family’s home who, in another life, may have worked her as hard as the man she is looking at.

At this, she held herself as tall as the three children she was carrying would let her, put her hands clasped in front of her, and walked to the door.

The man in the lawn subtly glanced at her, not making any eye contact, as he probably does with all guests, until he noticed that Anne was not one of the Carlyle’s usual guests. He went to go help her up to the door, but she denied his help politely.

She would not be seen as weak. She was a woman on a mission, pregnant with three children or not.

Anne walked up to the door and knocked. A woman dressed in a maid’s uniform answered the door almost immediately. She also did not make eye contact with Anne when she first opened the door, but when the maid realized the difference between the color of Anne’s skin than the usual guest, she looked up in shock.

The maid was about to step out and close the door when Anne interjected “I am here to see Daniel Carlyle. It is urgent matter.”

The woman at the door glanced down at Anne’s pregnant stomach then back up at her. “Ms. I am sorry for any inconveniences Master Carlyle may have caused you, but you must leave immediately...”

Anne was about to put up a fight when she heard someone ask, “Mary who is at the door and why have you not let them in?”

Anne pushed pass the maid and stood in the doorway of the mansion in front of the person who was speaking.

Anne knew immediately it was Daniel.

His hair was a little lighter than Phillip’s and his face was not as clean cut. He was maybe a little shorter than Phillip, and a little leaner too. But his eyes were almost exactly the same, except for the fact they were cold and hard, while Phillip’s were warm and inviting.

Similar to how Phillip’s were when he first joined the circus.

Daniel stared back at her. Anne wondered if he knew who she was. But word travels fast through the wealthy people of New York; therefore, Anne realizes that the whole family must know of the pregnancy.

Anne sticks out her hand to Daniel. “Hello Mr. Carlyle. As you probably know, my name is Anne Wheeler and I am here to talk about your older brother.” Anne begins when they hear the footsteps of woman shoes coming towards them.

Daniel lunges at Anne and grabs her hand. “We must get you away from the door and away from mother. Mary close the door and tell her it was just the lawn man giving you an update about his work.”

Daniel shuffles her down a hall in the opposite direction, quickly pushing themselves into a spare bedroom, just as Anne heard what she assumes is Mrs. Carlyle asking what had happened at the door.

After he closed the door quietly, he turned around to face her. Anne had prepared a speech for Daniel. She had planned it to be polite and not so straightforward, so she could plant the seed in his head that his brother missed him.

“Hello, Mr. Carlyle. As you already know, I’m -” Anne began.

Daniel interrupted her. “I know who you are! You are one of the crazy people who brainwashed my brother to think it is okay to be disowned by his family. I used to doubt my father’s decision to take away his inheritance, but you, standing here carrying what I can only assume is his bastard child, I see now that he was correct. Whatever you came here for, money, help, protection, the Carlyle family will not give it to you or him. You need to leave this place immediately, the only reason I brought you into this room was to save you from mother’s wrath, as I am a gentleman. Do not ever come back, or else you will face even worse than me.”

Daniel looked pleased with himself, like he really thought that he put Anne in her place.

Anne does not know what came over her next, maybe rage at this man, love for her husband and her unborn children, or the hormones from pregnancy, but instead of leaving to cause less trouble, she yelled back,

“I did not sneak here without my husband’s knowledge, catch a rickety carriage while pregnant, and swallow my pride to visit the family that insulted Phillip and myself on what was supposed to be a happy night so I could ask for money or protection. I woke up and managed to get out of bed by myself to visit you, Daniel Carlyle, because my husband, your big brother, misses you to the point I think a part of his heart is missing.”

Daniel tries to interrupt her again, but Anne continues, “Phillip, the big brother that would comfort you after nightmares because your father and mother wouldn’t. The one who snuck you fantasy books while your teacher forced you to read nonfiction. The one who took a punch to the face after you stole from the biggest kid on your block, and, most importantly, the big brother that still loves you even though you obviously think so low of him.”

“I came here to tell you that right now, your big brother needs you. He is running a business all by himself while also having to worry about me and the three children I am carrying, and whether or not we will make it through the labor. So, Mr. Carlyle, I did not show up here today to ask for anything monetary, I traveled here because I thought my husband could benefit from a relationship with his brother, but I was obviously wrong.”

At that, she turned out and stormed out. Anne would be damned if she would wait for Daniel to check the hallways for a “safe” passage way for her. She did not mean to tell him the details of their life, but once she started talking, she could not stop. Today made her realize that the only place she is really safe is in the red and white striped tents.

Anne started seeing white around the corner of her eyes and her ears were ringing. She thought it was the rage, but after she walked out of the mansion, she felt herself becoming weak. All of the sudden her vision went black and she felt herself starting to fall. The last thing she heard was a male voice shouting “ANNE!”

Chapters 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11

#the greatest showman #phillip carlyle #anne wheeler #Phillip x anne #my fanfics #zac efron #zendaya

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tacosandtomcos · 6 years

Text

Spoiler Review for The Book Of Spells! pt 3!

Glad to see people are really enjoying these overviews of the past queens!

Sorry this one took longer, i have other things to take care of and it gets in the way sometimes.

but now that we’re back let’s get started-

So we’re actually at the midpoint of the book, and before we get to rhina, gloss has a section in here about mewberty and the mewberty form.

the midpoint of the book also points to where the queen sections are with comments from gloss about all of them. Though let’s do a overview of this section on the mewberty form before we get to rhina

We already get the gist with it in the show, that it’s a powerful form that gives you helpful tools for you as a magic user, but here’s some bonus info that’s new to us.

The book is meant, according to daron, to allude to some future events, so we should be on the lookout for anything important.

Mewberty and dipping down

You tend to pop into this form when feeling strong emotion

Mewberty wings only show when needed

keeping your wings clean is important, don’t machine wash them.

Those sparkly eyes are called omatidia eyes, they let you see more then one dimension at a time. Soupina got stuck in this state and she never came back, she went mad. So don’t let yourself get lost with this power.

these eyes also let you read every language.

your emotions can increase and decrease your density, helping you fly. Dirhhennia might never have gone through mewberty, but she had many accounts of waking up on the ceiling and crashing on her bed.

the arms also only pop out when needed, sometimes they can be hard to make go away though.

your voice may change in this form, explaining star’s weird voice when killing toffee. It’s a multidimensional voice, just like with the eyes.

Each queens always has some unique signifiers in their mewberty form. Cres grew a big eyebrow each time she dipped down for example. Then it turned into a caterpiller and ran into the forest.

Negative emotions like envy and anger make for bad dipping down, making your form messed up and your magic unpredictable. while love and protection of another help you do fantastic and make your magic at it’s most powerful.

Tbh, alot of queens don’t manage to dip down, and it’s not exactly a bad thing considering the radiation it lets off. So it’s not frowned upon if you can’t do it.

Gloss then has a checklist of all kinds of silly things for him to do.

Here are my favs on here though

“Say nothing but globgor for a whole year” ( I can’t BELIEVE he wrote that down as one)

“Do nothing for five days”

“Change my voice” (Lol)

“Be a bridesmaid”

“Throw away all pants”

“die and be reborn” (Which he gave 4 checkmarks to, so uh..how much has gloss died?)

Also he has ones he crossed out, which means he never intends to do them.

He crossed out things like “Learn how to apologize” and apologies to a number of characters.

it’s a funny page that you should see for yourself.

Then he has a page on all his bug pets and their names. He has six bug pets, three silkworms, a centipede, a beetle and an earwig.

He seems to love them like kids more then his OWN kids (The mhc), he even has pet names for them.

Gloss also has a bedroom in here, it’s weird and clearly a bit meta since there’s concept art in it on a drawing board.

Rhina

Rhina’s queen poem is basically alluding to this very same book getting destroyed when it gets to star.

Her crystal is unique, a nubrikian spinning cube, there’s only 7 in existence in all the universes. she has to rearrange the cubes before every spell. Also they’re hypnotic and staring at them is a bad idea.

she writes notes to herself.

She rhymes alot in her chapter..

The hear on her wand is rare and perfect for riddle craft.

her book is full of riddles to solve for fun.

The edge of her wand can cut glass.

Some text are written upsidedown or in weird positions.

She has a pet turtle she likes having by her side, she was only allowed to keep it in her chambers after she was queen. Her best friend got him from the cats with human faces dimension, because he belonged to a cat prince and her friend won him. He was a present to rhina when her friend first came to the caslte.

She actually has 5 millhorses inside her wand, one being her mother’s.

She has steps on doing riddles. You have to collect them, find a subject, size doesn’t matter, know the answer first, draft ,metaphors, alliteration, let the answer speak about itself, share with friends.

Didn’t like Reynaldo the bald plate (That rando mch member) cause her made meetings riddle-free. She asked her mom to get rid of him, but that wasn’t possible, they kinda do what they want. Her mom still had her hand in alot of decisions through her daughter, rhina likes the help.

She was kinda hoping her mom would be queen a longer time and would not mind it it were forever, but she would rather spend a ton of time organizing her many spellbooks.

Finds gloss messy and bossy but at least he likes her riddles.

Friends with someone named lady gyoza, she came to stay with the family when rhina was age five and they’ve been friends since. They like to go on walks and braid daises in their hair. Gyoza looks like an owl because she’s 1/4th owl, she even sleeps late like one.

her turtle likes top-hats. also he has a mustache.

Skywynne knew lady gyoza’a grandpa, so that’s why she joined their family, for family friendship.

She made national riddle day on her birthday, which made every loyal subject give her a riddle. It wasn’t a success in the end.

was really bored about her meeting with the mch on the monster conflict.

uses riddle magic to make her spells, making the spells work is the hard part though. The trick of course is the spinning of the wand’s cubes and she only set gloss’s beard on fire five times anyway.

uses some cleaner to help make her wand spin right, it makes it look shiny too. It also smells like flowers from septarias, which gloss may be allergic to.

Has exercises for using objects with your arms, recommends asking a witch doctor or doctor before doing them. They’re weird ones with a book and a crystal ball. (Make sure if anyone lives in the book you tell them first before you do the exercise.)

Changed from doing “Entries” to just posting her thoughts.

She and Gyoza went to a demon ball wearing black cat masks, and no one knew who they were. She liked not being seen, would want to wear masks more often, watch the sunrise from castle namparts.

Has an ideal perfect morning, and wrote it down.

Rhina kinda seems asexual and aromatic, she dislikes her mom encouraging her to find a king and her friend talking about love, rhina just finds it all boring.

has a page on special cube forms for her spells.

bit her nails and sometimes had to use her toes to move her cube.

has been to earth since one cube form is based on a chihuahua., it makes her wand bark after each spin.

Used a spell on Reynaldo to make him like riddles, but he ended up only speaking in riddles from then on. She and gloss could not find a counterspell. So they made him retire.

Her friend eventually left and had a going away party.

in the beginning of her chapter she reminded herself about this red ribbon as a reminded for something about the cats with human faces dimension and it becomes a running gag in this book that she forgot why she has it.

has a spell to disarm monsters with your attitude or inner beauty. This spell made some flower monsters in the forest cry.

She forced herself to fall in love using a spell, despite how much she didn’t want to and dated a second cousin of the lucitors named John Roachly who was very talented and they ended up married. (And i hate to bring this up again but for those of you about to pull the incest card on tomstar, if you do the math tom and star would be 6th cousins based on this, which would not be considered related, nor would tom and star share any dna between them. They’re distantly related due to rhina’s marriage, but they’re so distant it would not make them related nor should affect their relationship. I feel i HAVE to say this because lord knows this fandom will use anything it can against a ship regardless if it’s actually true or not.).

Rhina wanted to basically break John’s heart after this was over with, apparently he was a cruel person too, and get them separated. But she ended up KILLING him. Making her a window while she was still pregnant with celena. Cresenta is also apparently dead by this point but rhina thinks she’d be happy to know the queen line is still continuing.

She was really upset about killing john despite him being a jerk, her friend and turtle comforted her.

Rhina and Gyoza loved the great book of fashion, they liked to make fashion of their own from it.

She met with king ponyhead and his oldest daughter to discuss what happened with john. The demons were furious about the incident and they wanted to speak with them and try to make clean between them. Her bestie was not convinced this was gonna work.

her turtle passed away.

as she got older her wrists made it harder to do magic, but she didn’t need to do much anyway. She just wanted some to help make peace with the demons.

Gyoza doesn’t trust the demons.

She wanted to bring celena with her to the meeting but she just hid in the drapes, and she got the book as her mom left to see what she could do to make it up to the demons.

So that’s rhina, not my fav in the book, as sometimes i can’t read her writing and turning the book in so many different angles was a little annoying. But her focus on riddles is unique and i like seeing different types of magic explored. For spells based on riddles they became far too literal and had bad effects in the process. When it came to her inner beauty spell, it made the monsters feel as bad as her, making them cry.

Also no, where she came from is never explained.

it’s kinda a shame that i feel the most people will take away from this chapter is the fact tom and star are distantly related (Despite the distance making them NOT related). But it’s interesting to see more on demons considering there so far isn’t too much on the lucitors in here. We haven’t even seen a single pic of a lucitor ancestor yet.

I have been made aware though, the lucitor and butterfly tensions because of this never fully resolved itself...until star and tom’s time.

Poor rhina though, pressured into kids and being married from her mom and it only led to problems with their allies.

Celena

Oh yay, another queen whose handwriting is hard to read

we don’t really get to learn much on celena’s wand...since she covers it with her fan, people who try to look with be cursed with painful shyness.

New millhorse, i think this millhorse if my fav so far, it’s so eerie and cool looking. He’s even shy like her, and he’s actually a ghost. He was also one of the five in her mom’s wand.

she also rhymes alot, i think she gets it from her mom. She writes poems more then riddles though for her spells.

she mostly looks at the ground, rather then people. She even says sorry to toadstools and fences if she bumps into them (they have feelings too). She also never speaks in public. Rhina though, doesn't like her saying sorry to non-living things...unless it’s in a riddle.

Gloss thinks she’s adorable.

Her spells are rather odd, there’s one dealing with love, but it’s it’s meant to make you fall in love or fall out of love is hard to tell.

has potions on attracting spirits and to make you a spirit, she was a potions master after all.

her chapter has all the Aureole signs, which are basically mewman zodiac signs. I can’t really explain all of them but if you need a pic just ask. Star even put the earth months and days here since mewni had their own months for this before.

She has a spell on mending a broken friendship. Something i feel is much more likely to be in s4 then some of the other things in this book.

Shyness is a gift to her, she only has to talk to who she wants to talk to, also she likes gloss, she thinks he’s small and silly.

There’s a protection charm in here.

Celena and her methods of magic rely more on herbs and such, it’s interesting. She just never seems to actually use her wand for any of her spells.

She has a cute little song about a pumpkin she grew.

She has a whole page on tarot cards, some familiar faces are on some of these cards. As in, the other queens, Skywynne is represented as the queen, jushtin is represented as the king, Cresenta is true love, and solaria is battle strength and that’s only some of them. These cards are made to cut out as well.

And that’s it, i’m honestly not kidding.

Celena has very little to say on her chapter and there’s nothing in terms of her family, her rules, the conflicts, or anything.

we aren’t even made aware who she married.

star in the beginning of this chapter is disappointed in the lack of secrets. But i wonder if celena had really any secrets at all, maybe her biggest secret...is everyone just thought she had one?

that or, if she had any secrets, she kept them out of this book.

She’s an adorable queen though, strange case.

Estrella

Estrella actually hated writing, she actually didn’t write anything in her chapter. Instead GLOSSARYCK actually is the ones talking and explaining about her in most of her section as we browse through her art. She says a few things but even still her chapter is very short.

Her wand was a pen, if it had magic powers, she never used them, she just used it to draw. She ended up devoting her life to art.

Same millhorse as her mom, the ghost one.

extrella was quiet, she didn’t talk much, and as queen she did very little. But this is what made mewmans love her, because there was no real change and they hated change She just spent all her time sketching all alone and finding cool plants that eventually comet made into food.

apparently the avarius’s at the time sank their fortunes in the scratch and sniff trade. Which does explain ludo’s folks a bit...

Red Solanacese was celena’s favorite.

Game of flags with the johansens was a thing by this point.

named a smelly plant “Crying dirt pile”.

found some sand to eat on her potato salad , calls it “Frown sand” and it tastes really good, she brought some back to the caslte.

Estrella drew during her MCH meetings, it was the only way she stood awake during them. Omni thought it was rude.

Seth is still alive by this point, has a group of rebels, apparently omni thought best they wait it out rather then go to war again.

Estrella’s last page is a sketch of her mom, alot older, her husband Azul Saint, who was a bard, and her baby comet. She calls them, “All of her loves”.

So yes, that’s two queens in a row with small chapters and not a lot to talk about.

it’s kind’ve a shame to me some of these other queens got so cut, i just feel like we could’ve had more on them, or other things happening during their time. But we didn’t.

They end up feeling like placeholders just there to fill book space and that might bother me a bit.

Estrella wasn’t much of a talker, but i feel like more could’ve been done with her.

There’s not much i can say because well....there’s not much to say in the fist place, that honestly about covers it.

We’ll continue with he last 3 queens soon enough.

thanks for reading, and i’ll see you soon!

#star vs the forces of evil #svtfoe #svstfoe #spoiler alert

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lachlantrash · 5 years

Text

“I’m right where I belong”

You get off the plane, walking a few steps before feeling your heartbeat pick up pace and the nerves settle in. You're in Australia, you actually moved to Australia. Immediately realizing your four cats have been trapped in a plane for the past 20 hours, you suck up your nerves and make your way to finding Lachlan so you can welcome your cats to their new home. And oh, do you find him.

"Babe?" He says before you have a chance to say anything, standing from the airport seat and taking his long strides to you and instantly pulling you into his chest, holding you to him as if he hasn't seen you in years. Yeah, that's a stretch seeing as just three months ago he visited you in America, but you two talk daily and just being with him in person is amazing.

"I love you, Lachlan." You murmur, holding him just as tight as he's holding you. You feel him smile into your hair, planting a kiss on top of your head. He pulls away from you only to kiss you, a deep kiss showing just how much emotion he's been storing for you over the three months.

"I love you so, so much. You're here, you're actually fucking here." He says, pulling you back into his chest to hold you close again.

"I am, I am here... And I really hate the idea of ruining this moment, but my cats are probably scared out of their minds in the crates and I need to get my baggage..." You trail off, making Lachlan laugh as he lets go of you.

"Right, we actually have to get you to your apartment, I'm sorry." He laughs. "Okay, you go get your cats and I will get your baggage? It's labelled, right?" He asks, making you nod.

"Yeah... Three suitcases came with me and everything else is being shipped. Should I just wait at pet pick-up for you?" You ask, not knowing anything about the layout of this airport.

"Yeah, I'll bring your luggage to the car and then I'll drive the car to that end of the airport, and I'll come help you carry your cats out of here, then we can drive you to your new place and you can see what little furniture I've actually set up for you." Lachlan laughs, placing a quick kiss on your head before you two part ways. You quickly walk to where you see a line of people waiting to collect their pets, groaning because you're worried about your babies. Eventually you get to the front of the line, shocking the man when you show him the four identification papers for your cats. He's obviously surprised someone would fly four cats to another continent, but there's no way you'd leave them behind. It takes him a few minutes, but he comes back with this cart of sorts with the cat carriers stacked on them.

"So you can bring this up to the exit, but the cart has to stay in the airport. Sorry ma'am." He says, and you nod. You move out of the way so the next person can be rekindled with her pets, stopping to check on your cats.

"Hey guys, mom's here. Don't worry, we're almost at our new home. You guys are probably scared, Lachlan will be here soon. Then we'll all go explore the new place together." You say, standing in front of the cart near the closest exit. When one of your cats, Hera, sees you she meows, walking to the front of the crate and scratching at it making you want to cry. "I know honey, almost time." You say, petting her paw through the cage comfortingly.

"Are you guys ready to go?" You hear Lachlan say, making you whip your head around.

"Let's go quick, they're all sad and it's breaking my heart." You pout, grabbing Crash and Hera's crates since they were on top, leaving Lachlan to grab Paris and Storm. He grabs their crates with ease, using his hip to move the cart against a wall before leading you out to where he parked the car. You two get the cats into the back of the car somehow, your luggage all in the trunk. "How far away do I live from the airport?" You ask.

"Like, an hour. They'll be fine, and don't worry I made sure to get a litter box set up in both of your bathrooms, there's at least dry cat food out, and a water bowl all ready for them when they get home. I knew that'd be your top priority." He laughs, reaching over the console for your hand.

"I'm sorry... I'm really excited to be here, I really am, I just want them to be settled. Then hopefully, you and I can find the bed you hopefully have set up?" You add, regretting it immediately after with a groan.

"Wow, you want to find the bed with me already?" He chuckles, making you roll your eyes.

"Aren't you so funny? I meant we can cuddle and talk and just love each other because fuck Lachlan, I'm actually here for good. I'm in Australia. With my cats. With you." You say, squeezing his hand as it sets in.

"I know, it's all hitting me too. You're actually here for good, you're staying in Australia (Y/N). I hope you like how I set up some of the furniture you ordered, if you don't like it obviously I was planning on still being at your place tomorrow so I could help you rearrange it any way you'd like it-" He says, getting cut off by a long meow in the back of the car.

"Storm it's okay, we'll be there soon hopefully. You guys will love the new place, it has lots of windows and I'm even setting up a pet room." You talk to the back of the car, making Lachlan laugh.

"You just talked to a cat, you do know that?" He asks, taking a brief look at you before focusing on the road again.

"Yes, I do know that. Sorry my cats have never been on a twenty hour plane ride, they're probably thinking they're off to the worst vet trip yet." You say, making Lachlan laugh.

"Oh c'mon, you have to admit that was funny." He says, and though you're trying not to let it show you let out a small laugh at what you said. "We just got into your town, another five minutes and we'll be there." He adds, making the butterflies return to you. You'll be at your apartment soon, your new apartment in a whole damn new continent. "How are you feeling, babe?" He asks, trying to read your expression as you see the apartments sign on the side of the road.

"I'm great, Lachlan. I'm so, so great and excited." You say honestly as he pulls into the parking lot, getting the spot as close as he can to your apartment. Luckily the place you chose to rent from was moreso townhomes, being split side by side instead of into multiple floors. It makes it easier to bring all of your belongings in, and before you know it all the cat crates and luggage bags are in. "Are you sure you have all the windows and doors leading to the outside closed?" You ask.

"Yes (Y/N), it's safe to release your cats from their confinements." He laughs, watching you eagerly unlock all the cages to give your cats their freedom. "Oh, hello to you too... Storm?" Lachlan says, hoping he said the right name to the cat rubbing against him.

"That's Crash, but you tried." You smile, walking up to Lachlan and wrapping your arms around him. "Do you remember what you promised me?" You mumble, looking up at him.

"What did I promise you?" He asks, putting his hands on your hips and pressing you into him.

"You promised you'd bring me a Lachlan oversized hoodie, did you forget it!? I'll leave, I'll go back to America right now if I don't get that hoodie to sleep in tonight." You say playfully, pulling out of the embrace.

"Oh, that! No, I didn't forget, it's upstairs in your bedroom on your bed. Do you want to go see your room? You're probably tired, we can go lie down... Your cats and luggage will be fine, I'll help you organize tomorrow. I'll leave the door to your cat room open so they can explore the one cat condo I set up." He laughs.

"Thank you, that would be great." You sigh in relief, going up the stairs and luckily remembering the layout of the apartment you walk into the right room. Lachlan has the queen size bed set up, and a dresser there too. There's boxes of other furniture he obviously knows will come in here but it isn't unboxed yet. He even went to the trouble of making the bed, and placing the huge hoodie folded at the end of it. You waste no time in stripping out of your disgusting airplane clothes, leaving nothing but your underwear and bra on before slipping into the hoodie that goes well past your thighs.

"God, if you didn't look so sleepy I'd definitely try to make a move on you right now." You hear Lachlan sigh from the doorway.

"Oh, c'mon now! It's my first night in Australia and you're already trying to sleep with me?" You ask, plopping down on the made bed. "This is so fucking comfy, you picked a great mattress." You moan in satisfaction, crawling up to get under the covers.

"Well when you make noises like that, my mind begins to get ideas..." He trails off, taking his shirt off and joining you in the bed after throwing it across the room.

"Don't make a habit of doing that, I will have a clean apartment." You fake threaten, cuddling up to his chest. "This is great, I can actually be in your arms right now. And anytime we want, we can just be with each other. We don't have to wait hours for a flight, we're a thirty minute drive from each other." You say, looking up at Lachlan's face, taking in every detail you've memorized from the last time you saw him back in Florida. The different hues of blue that come together perfectly to form the eyes you're in love with holding most of your attention.

"Technically, it's a 34 minute drive..." Lachlan says, a smirk on his face as you roll your eyes.

"Oh you're right, suddenly that's unbearable... If that's the case I'm better off just moving back to America." You sigh, looking at him with a teasing smile.

"If that's what you want it's okay, you don't have to stay here... I won't end our relationship if you decide you don't want to live here, okay? Remember that, please remember that." He says, planting a kiss on the top of your head.

"Lachlan, I'm right here where I belong. I'm not going to leave, unless you give me a hell of a reason to. I don't plan on leaving, I want to be here." You say, sitting up to plant an actual kiss on his lips. "We have a lot of unpacking and furniture shopping to do, but I really want to be here. With you, and nobody else."

"I'll happily unpack and furniture shop with you if it means I can cuddle with you at least weekly." He says, gently pulling you back into his bare chest just so he can hold you.

"Only weekly? I was thinking a few times a week, I'm a bit disappointed." You sigh dramatically, making him chuckle.

"Well if that's what my girl wants, I'll happily oblige. We can definitely spend as much time as you want cuddling." He says, squeezing you closer.

"Don't promise me that, we'll never leave bed and you won't be able to make videos anymore if you do." You laugh.

"I don't see a problem with us never leaving bed..." He trails off, adjusting the way you two are cuddling so he can kiss you.

"God, do you only think about sex!?" You sigh, making him laugh.

"It's been three months, and you're not wearing any pants right now and we're cuddling, I'm sorry. I'll try to control myself if that's what you want, but don't be upset if I keep making comments." He says, and as an after thought adds, "Plus you're wearing a hoodie with my name on it and I think that's so fucking hot."

"Fine, fine... We got some cuddles in so I guess if we both want it to go further..." You trail off, allowing Lachlan to kiss you again, this time his intentions clearly portrayed.

"So you want it too?" He asks against your lips, not moving away enough to keep his lips from brushing against yours as he speaks. He's hovering over you now, waiting for a response as he begins kissing the side of your neck.

"I've wanted it since I saw you wearing an all black t-shirt at the airport... But when you took your shirt off I was reminded of it. I was just playing hard to get." You say, eagerly moving his lips back to yours.

"Oh princess, you don't have to play anything to have me." He says before fully connecting his lips to yours, ending in a great first night at your new home.

#lachlan #lachlan power #lachlanyt #lachlanpower #lachlan x reader #lachlanxreader

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lemonsandstrawberries · 5 years

Text

The Pitted Olive, part 5

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

universe: Draq Queen!AU (Tony Stark as a drag queen)

summary: Steve and Tony continue to happily date and Steve has a sweet surprise for Tony, while Tony asks him a big question. Also, Steve meets another drag queen from The Pitted Olive.

length: 3 683 words

disclaimer: this fic is written strictly for entertainment. I am not a specialist on drag and my whole knowledge comes from mainstream media. if there is something you will find incorrect or offensive in any way, there is always an option to contact me and politely voice your thoughts instead of flaming. thanks!

a/n: I am trying to contradict the sad vibe I am getting from tumblr lately and forcing myself to post. hopefully, this will work for you and me!

——————–

The Pitted Olive, part 5

(part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6)

Ding!

"Hi! Welcome to Mama's Little Bakery - Hi Steve!"

"Hi, Kamala," Steve greeted the dark haired girl behind the counter. He took a deep breath, smelling all the frosting and sweet toppings and some earthy notes of a good, real bread. It was a special smell.

"What brings you here? Want to try our new creation?" Kamala motioned to the small plate next to her, where some small cookie pieces were waiting.

"Always," Steve grinned and took a piece, popping it into his mouth. Crumbly, buttery, and sweet. With some floral note to it.

"Rose water and white chocolate cookies," Kamala smiled proudly. Although the bakery specialized in homemade, traditional pastries, the newly hired young personnel was welcomed to experiment. "Teddy came up with that."

"It's great," Steve said enthusiastically, although he felt that nothing could top good ol' double chocolate chip cookies. "Is Mama here?"

"He is in the back with Billy. Heard you placed a special order?"

"Kamala!" a dark-haired teenager with a hair neat stretched over his head popped out from the backspace. "Did you finish putting together the boxes?"

"Not yet!"

"Can you hurry up, please?! The guys from the Xavier's School will be here any minute to pick up the cupcakes for their students!"

"Hi, Billy," Steve smiled at the boy.

"Oh, hi, Steve, sorry didn't see you there," Billy said, walking to Kamala and carrying a tray of cupcakes with yellow frosting and a black x on top. An odd choice, but it was the school's logo. "And where is Teddy?! I need more sugar pearls!"

"Calm down, we have plenty of time!" Kamala said, taking the tray and putting it aside. "If you want to get it done, help me too," she said, pushing a cupcake holder box in his hands to fold.

"I still have like two dozens of cupcakes to frost--- why there is a cupcake missing from the display?"

"Uh oh… Well, I didn't have time to eat breakfast so…"

"How did you even reach it?! It is like your arms can stretch, I swear---"

"I am going to the back," Steve pointed at the door leading to the staff only area, letting the kids resolve this one between themselves. He heard the banter and smiled, thinking that since Sam made a decision to take interns from the baking school, the bakery became much more lively. Entering the kitchen was a whole new experience. The shop part looked sweet and inviting, set in light pinks and cream colors, just as Sam's mom designed. The kitchen was white, with a lot of silver utensils, and the most colorful sprinkles and icing stashed neatly on the shelves. It was perfectly organized.

"Billy, when you will be done with the cupcakes, please check on the apple pies in the oven," Sam said, hearing someone entering the kitchen. He was hunched over a marble table and rolling some dough between his palms, sprinkling it with flour, whenever the dough felt too sticky.

"Hi, Mama!"

Sam turned around, looking in surprise at Steve. "Hairnet!" he scolded, pointing to the shelve with a box of disposable hair nets.

"Dude, seriously?" Steve asked, blankly. Sam was also wearing a hairnet, although he kept his hair in a buzz cut.

"Hairnet or get out from my kitchen!" Sam ordered, slamming the pile of dough against the table to get more air bubbles inside.

"Okay, okay," Steve soothed, stretching the net over his head. "What are you doing?"

"Dough for cinabbons. You know that dough has to be kneaded at least one hundred times?"

"I honestly didn't know that. Why don't you use a stand mixer?"

"Nah, man. It is all about the love you put into your baking," Sam replied, smiling gently and Steve was sure that that smile wasn't for him, but for the dough. "Mixers don't give love."

One day Steve would love to have a job he could be so passionate about as Sam was about his bakery. Working in an art shop had its pluses, like steady hours, steady pay, a lot of free time. Downsides were working with not always sure what they searched for customers and countless hours of rearranging misplaced art supplies. What Steve really wanted was to teach art. Somehow, he never had the courage to take that step. Maybe one day.

"You came here for your order?" Sam asked, straightening up and wiping hands in his apron. The dough was resting under a clean cloth, needing time to rise. "I had to test out a few recipes before I came up with a one I was pleased with," he handed Steve a pink box with a bow and the bakery's logo stamped in one corner.

"Thanks," Steve smiled, taking the package.

"Hope you two will enjoy it," Sam said hurriedly, jumping to the huge deck oven and checking on the apple pies. The hot scent of baking apples and cinnamon drifted to Steve and it was heavenly. "If you want something to go, just tell Kamala, she will pack it for you!"

"Maybe later," Steve started walking out of the kitchen. Sam always offered him free pastries and Steve was grateful, but sometimes it felt as too much. Although, he wouldn't say no to some cheesecake. "Hey, I will see you this evening, right?"

"Yeah. Can you call Billy here on your way out?"

"Sure. Thanks again, Sam!"

Steve left the bakery, holding the pink package and smiling lightly. He was hoping that Tony would love his surprise.

***

"Oh, oh yeah, give it to me, come on - AAAAH!"

Steve was blushing. Blushing so much his face would melt off. Why Tony had to be so loud.

"Mmmmm! That felt good! Come on, one more time, faster, GAAAAAH!"

God. People were staring at him. Just move along, nothing was happening here. Steve was just sitting outside Tony's changing room and curling in embarrassment. Perfectly normal.

"Ooooh, slap it on me! HAAAAAH!"

Maybe he should just wait outside. Seemed like a good idea.

"Ah ah ah… Woah, that was intense. Thanks."

Steve uncurled, his face less heated. Okay, it was coming to an end. Some more talking, and soon a red-haired woman in a white cosmetician coat walked out of the room. She spotted Steve and smiled, in a bit terrifying way. "She is all yours now."

"Thanks," Steve replied meekly.

"Aaah, it is good to feel smooth again!" Red walked out, stretching in her small, gold robe. "See you next month, Nat."

Natasha nodded, grabbing trotting by Arrow, male name Clint, as Steve learned with time, by the arm and twirled with her. "Ah ah ah! Where do you think you are going? You and your hairy pits are next."

"Awww, but I told it is an artistic choice!" Arrow argued in a whiny voice, walking with Natasha to her changing room.

"Don't forget about her back!" Red Velvet called, grinning broadly. Arrow flipped her sister off and it was met only with a giggle.

"Hey, honey," Red Velvet said, turning her eyes to Steve. "Want to feel how smooth I am," she purred, taking his hand and slipping it under the robe, his palm resting over smooth, heated skin near the inner thigh area.

Steve's face exploded with a new shade of embarrassment. He pushed himself and Red inside the room hurriedly and slammed the door behind. Seemed that she just loved making him flustered. "Maybe not now," Steve muttered, feeling that everyone in the club was already observing him.

"Good," Red replied with a smile, moving away, "because I am a little sore. It is not easy getting a full body wax."

"F-full body?" Steve repeated, his mouth falling open a little.

"Full body," Red repeated with a wide smile. This time, Steve felt that his blush went all the way down to his toes. Full body was a whole lot of smooth skin.

"So, what brings you here?" Red Velvet asked, curling in the corner of the couch and patting the cushions next to her, motioning for Steve to sit down. "Lately you only show up minutes before my show."

Oh right.

"I brought you something," Steve said, sitting next to her and handing her a box from the bakery.

Red Velvet frowned, and it was her gentle frown, the one that was practiced to not crease her face too much. "You know that I don't eat before performing."

"Just one bite," Steve asked. He hated that she was starving herself just to squeeze her waist more in the cincher.

"Well… Let's see first what you got me," she said, removing the lid. "Huh."

"They are red velvet cupcakes," Steve said happily. Red velvet for Red Velvet.

"It is from your friend, right?" Red Velvet asked and she took out one cupcake, turning it in her hand and looking at it from every angle. It smelled like cocoa and the white frosting was swirled out perfectly. "It is cute, but I am not actually a fan of red velvet cake," she smiled gently.

"No?" Steve blinked, feeling a bit baffled. "Then why your name is Red Velvet?"

"You think I named myself after a cake?" Red laughed, and it sounded more like Tony than Red, to be honest. "It is because the first dress I wore as a drag queen was made of red velvet. It is not a very friendly material, to be honest, it is a bit heavier than others and you get hot quickly, but it is really nice to the touch. Nowadays my dresses are mostly made of satin. I would really like to try some dresses made of charmeuse, but I don't have the figure to pull it off. You have no idea what I am talking about, do you?" Red laughed, and Steve closed his opened mouth.

"I only know that you have a great figure," Steve said in his defense and Red smiled.

"I am gonna give it a taste," she said, delicately peeling the wrapper off, "you know, red velvet is actually very difficult to make… Too much food dye, and it will be bitter. Too little and it will become dry. It is a tricky cake," she said, biting in. Even though she didn't have any makeup on yet, Steve saw the difference. Tony took big bites, almost in a gluttonous way, always getting his mouth dirty. Here, she took a small, dainty bite, quickly wiping off the frosting off her lips.

"Hm," Red Velvet looked at Steve, and she smacked her lips together delicately. "It… Is actually really good," she said, smiling in surprise. "Really good," she said, offering the rest of the cupcake to Steve, and Steve did the playful thing and took a bite of the cupcake while she still was holding it. Moist cake, a bit salty frosting. Sam did it again. "Good, right?" Red asked, and Steve gave an approving hum. "I thought your friend is miserable in his job, but his cakes don't taste like that."

"Huh?" Steve asked, wiping his mouth when the rest of the cupcake was gone. "What do you mean by that?"

Red shrugged, standing up and going to her vanity station. "He has some… weird vibe around him. Like if being an owner of a bakery is something he doesn't want to do."

"Well, it is complicated… Sam didn't really have a choice," Steve said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Family business?"

"Yeah, family," Steve nodded, remembering the day the Wilson family moved into the neighborhood. They had renovated a shop that used to be a barber place, and Mrs. Wilson finally fulfilled her dream of owning a bakery, a ten-year-old Sam and his siblings helping in every way they could. With time, Sam's older siblings went to live on their own in different parts of the country, and Sam stayed with his mom, still helping. When she was unable to work anymore, Sam took over the business, letting his mom's dream live on through him. Like every person, Sam had doubts about what he was doing, and Steve could see it more often in his friend. Yet, today in the bakery… Sam looked truly happy.

"I understand that. Kids don't want to disappoint their parents," Red said, and Steve looked up curiously because once again, he saw in Red more Tony. He couldn't ask what was going on, because Red continued to speak and it was big news. "Maybe except my daughter. She is a pain and proud of it."

"You have a daughter?!" Steve asked, his eyes wide as saucers. Wasn't that kind of an information he should know from the start?

"Not in a sense you think," Red smiled, obviously enjoying seeing Steve's shocked face in the mirror. "I meant my drag daughter. Tootsie Roll."

"Tootsie?" Steve's mouth fell open. Tootsie was the drag queen he usually saw behind the bar, pouring drinks or sometimes on the stage, singing grungy music. With her smudged makeup and love for plaid and animal prints, she didn't resemble Red Velvet's poised style in any way.

"My little rebel," Red laughed fondly, taking a cotton pad and pouring some blue liquid on her face, starting her makeup routine. "I taught her how to walk, how to apply makeup, gave her her first cincher to hide her hog body---"

"Is her name Tootsie because of you?" Steve asked, pulling his eyebrows together.

Red had to stop and lowered the cotton pad in her hand. "You are really fixated on the topic of sweets today, aren't you?" she smiled and Steve smiled back in a lopsided way. "Actually, I came up with that, but she was the one who allowed it to stay. I called her like that once, because- ughh," Red's smile became a little wider, "okay, that was mean of me, but her first tucks looked like she stuffed a bar of tootsie roll in her pants. It was not completely hidden. So, it kinda stuck."

"That… that is mean," Steve admitted, chuckling lowly.

"Don't laugh, tucking in is a serious business," Red reprimanded, narrowing her eyes. There was some knocking on the door, and she turned away from the mirror. "Come in!"

"Hey, Red, do you have some aloe? I think Nat burned some of my skin," a male walked in, right past Steve on the couch, rubbing his armpit with a scowl.

"Tsk, where are your manners," Red Velvet reprimanded, "Steve, I present to you my daughter, Tootsie Roll. Tootsie, this is Steve."

"Sup," the guy turned to Steve briefly and Steve raised his hand in hello. Wow. It was fascinating how such a bulky guy could transform his body into a perfect hourglass figure. That had to require a lot of padding. He also had strong facial features and a stubble, but makeup had turned his face into a rounder, softer one. Dark, shoulder-length hair which was usually hidden under frilly, big wigs. "Mom, aloe, okay?! I am dying!" she urged Red Velvet in a playful whine.

"Okay, okay. Damn kids."

"I… I think I know you," Steve said, not letting his eyes off Tootsie. The guy turned to him with a slightly mocking smile.

"Well, duh. I am the one who prepares your drinks, Long Island Ice Tea guy," she replied with a smile. And Steve just stared, because without lipstick that smile seemed awfully familiar. Once on a bruised face and a busted lip. A very long time ago.

"Bucky!" Steve called suddenly.

Tootsie made a confused face. "What?"

"You are Bucky!" Steve continued to call, sure of it.

"… Wait, you said, Steve, right? As in little punk Steve?" Tootsie frowned before Steve nodded enthusiastically. After having the confirmation, both men let out a happy scream and ran into each other arms. "Steve! It had been what? Twenty years?!"

"I had no idea, you were back in town! When did you come back?"

"I don't know, a year or two ago? I didn't know you still live in New York."

"This is great," Steve said, drawing away from the hug. "You changed so much."

"Looks who's talking!" Bucky laughed, remembering the small fry he had left. "Growth spurt did wonders to you, pal."

"Um, can someone fill me up?" Red reminded them of her presence, holding in her hands a stick of aloe vera.

"Sorry!" Steve laughed, "me and Bucky were best pals in childhood until his family moved to Ohio."

"Uh, yeah, you never forget the first guy who busted your lip," Bucky said, pointing at the left corner of his mouth, where he had a thin, pale scar. "He had the boniest fists."

"Hey, you gave me a black eye, that's way worse," Steve grinned, shoving his friend in the shoulder. Bucky's and Steve's first meeting was pretty intense, but from a fight that emerged from a misunderstanding, a true friendship was born. They were best buds and inseparable until Bucky's dad got a new job and the whole family moved. Those were some lonely years for Steve until Sam's family moved into the neighborhood.

"Aw, you two are such frat boys, it is adorable," Red Velvet smiled. "But don't you have somewhere to be?" she said, looking directly at Tootsie.

"Oh, right!" she said, suddenly remembering that the time was passing and her shift would soon start. "Hey, come to my bar, we will talk some more. And we could meet one day and catch up. I have to get ready now," she reached her hand for the aloe and Red Velvet tossed it to her. "Thanks! I will see you both later!"

"Bye!" Steve smiled, watching the door close behind his friend. He couldn't stop smiling. It was great to be reunited with his childhood friend. And he couldn't wait to introduce Bucky to Sam.

Red Velvet made a sympathetic sound and walked to Steve's side, pulling his head down to press to her chest. "You are getting all emotional, baby."

Just then Steve realized that there were some tears forming in his eyes. He came to terms with not seeing Bucky ever again and meeting him after all those years was an emotional experience.

"Come on, I will clean you up," Red Velvet said, taking Steve's hand and guiding him to the vanity station. She sat Steve down and took a fresh cotton pad, pouring the same liquid she had used earlier on the pad, and gently rubbing Steve's face all over with it. Steve closed his eyes and enjoyed the touch. He was getting used to all those cosmetic stuff.

"Steve… Actually, there is something I wanted to ask you…"

"Hm?"

"How would you feel about performing in a duet with me?"

"What?" Steve asked, opening his eyes and looking at Red Velvet smiling hopefully at him. "Me and you? On the stage?"

Red Velvet nodded.

"I don't sing."

"I heard you singing under the shower."

"I meant, I don't sing in public," Steve sighed. It was way out of his comfort zone.

"We can do a lip sync. Many drag queens do it."

Drag queens?

"Are you asking because you want me to…?" Steve didn't finish. Her smile was enough to confirm that thought. In less than a second, Steve was off the chair. "Oh no, no, no," he said quickly, walking backward and seemingly terrified. "No way. I am not wearing drag."

"Why not?" Red Velvet asked, crossing her arms and looking a little defensive at Steve's quick refusal. He better chose his words carefully.

"It… It is not my thing!" Steve said clumsily, and Red narrowed her eyes.

"How can you tell if you never tried it before?"

"I just can."

Red rolled her eyes. "It is fine. If you don't want to, I won't force you," she said but sounded a bit offended. She sat on the chair and resumed her beauty routine without a word.

Steve felt guilty. Maybe he reacted too harshly. He looked at the mirror, trying to imagine himself with long hair and makeup. "Would I have to wax my body?"

"No, only shave some parts. Which, between you and me, wouldn't actually hurt to do, you know, I have enough of plucking your hair out from between my teeth each time---"

"La la la la!" Steve sang, pressing hands to his ears and closing his eyes. When he opened them after a while, Red was looking at him with a smirk. Such a big guy and yet he acted like a baby.

"I… I will think about it," Steve gave up, lowering his arms.

"That's all I am asking," Red hummed, putting a headband on her head and reaching for the white foundation.

Steve had an idea.

"You know, you had been showing me a whole lot of your world. How about I show you now some of mine?" Steve said, standing behind the chair and putting his hands on Red's shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Red asked, sounding a bit intrigued.

"Just some guys day out."

"Guys day out?" she repeated, sounding amused. "Will we go to a strip club? Poker night and cigars? That stuff?"

"Oh, you would like that, huh?" Steve teased, squeezing her shoulders playfully, meaning the cigars part. "You will see," he said mysteriously. Red took a moment to answer, before turning on the chair, facing Steve.

"Bring it on, sugar," she said enticingly. Steve smiled wider and leaned down while Red put her hands on his cheeks, bringing their lips into a kiss, probably the last one before she would take the makeup off after her show. The deal was sealed. "Now, get out, I need to get ready," she said, when the kiss ended, turning back to the mirror.

With a smile on his lips, Steve trotted to the door, but changed his mind last second and sat back on the couch, where he had a nice view of his lady getting ready. Red raised her eyebrow at that.

"Or you can stay and watch. That is an option too."

Truth to be told, it was Steve's favorite option.

————-

<– previous part ….. next part —>

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tag list

(if you want to be tagged for updates in this series, send me an ask and I will add your username below)

@destiel-is-classic, @prithvik , @azurixx , @mangakats, @mystey-writes, @w1nters-stark, gloriousmarvellokiturtle,

#stony #stevetony #superhusbands #tony stark #steve rogers #drag queen #drag queen AU #au #the pitted olive fic #the pitted olive #fanfic #fanfiction #no tickling #sam wilson #clint barton #natasha romanoff #Bucky Barnes

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nsjang · 4 years

Text

Sending ma off

7.5.20

Today we held a zoom memorial service for ma. It felt like a good ending to three weeks of preparing and processing her death. It was a big group effort, with everyone contributing in different ways. Bah prepared and organized all the moving parts, his own speech, slide shows, organizing all the people, coordinating the call, figuring out all the small details. Juen made the video, handled and set up the room and lighting and all the tech details. San prepared his speech, handled tech details during the call. Lisa coordinated the mortuary details and people managed and made sure everyone was on task. Sue took care of taeyang and played with him and kept in entertained and happy during all these gatherings when everyone was distracted and running around doing various tasks.

Afterwards, I think everyone felt some type of closure after what felt like a very long period of preparing and planning. Figuring out what to do the day she died. Figuring out scheduling and days off and coordinating with Dave and Katie who had to fly and take more vacation than the rest of us to come. Figuring out whether to cremate or bury, whether to scatter at sea, whether to go with the prescheduled boat or do our own boat, whether to do a cremation viewing or not, everyone preparing and choosing a favorite verse, preparing a short thing to say at the viewing. Going to the viewing. Seeing her decaying flesh 10 days after she died. Crying hard during that, seeing her like that. Waiting a few days to get her remains. Asking about how the cremation went. Seeing the cremated remains. Figuring out how to open the urn with the sliding panel at the top. Looking at the bag of white ashes labeled with her May 30 birthday, and asking if they got that right, and bah confirming they got it right because that is her official birthday even though her real birthday is March 18. Going on the boat, spreading her ashes near the golden gate bridge. On the day of, finessing the room decorations to make sure it wasnt too busy, putting up sheets to cover the back, rearranging all the furniture in the room, figuring out how to put up the four-photo collage my dad printed on 6 8.5x11 pieces of paper, how to arrange the 20+ flower sets we received from people all over, figuring out the microphone sound settings, testing the sound, making sure the english translation was correct, making sure people knew how to dial in to the english translation number which was audio only but also the main channel that had the video and chinese audio. planning a week ahead to make sure that taeyang’s nap was right before the scheduled memorial service at 4pm PT. Checking how high of a setting we could put the fans to make sure we would not all melt while suited up, how to sit and arrange ourselves without looking too tacky. is the camera straight? Where do we put the laptop? We should put it up high above the webcam we ordered so we are all looking at the general direction of the camera while looking at the computer screen. Figuring out how to stack up chairs and fasten them together, along with a cardboard box, to place the laptop on, making sure it’s secure. Securing the microphone to a chair with a long metal rod so the mic is close enough to the speaker’s face. worrying if the various videos and slideshows we prepared would play properly. Ordering faster internet so we could have faster upload speeds. Do we have the right numbers for people in korea and taiwan to call in?

And it all went smoothly. My mom impacted a lot of people. It was comforting to hear all the various people from various parts of her life speak about her, remember her, uplift her, reinforce what we collectively remember about her.

at the very end, we got to talk very briefly to san san shu shu, mei mei, and shen shen. he told us to take care of our dad. we promised we would.

afterwards, everyone felt relief. we all went for a walk, even bah came, where he refused every time the week before. jon was talkative and telling lisa to stop cleaning, where before the memorial he was the one fussing with all the small details.

my own speech, which i shed some tears while drafting, but thankfully was able to hold together while giving it:

We are here today to celebrate the life of my mom, Emma Sun, or who I know her as: mah or mommie. For anybody that doesn’t know me, my name is Nathan, and I am my mom’s eldest son. My two younger brothers, Jon and Dave, are also here, as well as my wife Sue, my son Taeyang, Jon’s wife Lisa, and David’s wife Katie.

My mom’s life was about sacrifice. She sacrificed everything for her family, and for her kids. She often told me the story that when she was studying for her chemistry PhD at Stony Brook in New York, she was pregnant with me and studied with a heavy textbook resting on her growing belly. When I was born, she was just one semester into her PhD. My mom and dad went to see the university’s daycare program, but she decided to quit her PhD and take care of me full time instead.

There were times in my life where I did not fully appreciate her sacrifices or dedication to us. I remember one time in high school I told her, why didn’t you just send us to daycare? We would have been more socialized. Look at my friend—his parents sent him to daycare and he is way more sociable and popular than I am. See, you didn’t have to sacrifice and give up your life for us. But now, as a parent myself, I understand how hurtful those words must have been to her. Now I understand just a bit more the reason she gave up her career for us.

She ensured that her kids had the best and received as much resources as she could provide. Every Sunday she would dress all three of us in matching outfits. Every holiday party we were in matching bowties and vests that she sewed herself. Our school lunches were hand-packed with healthy fruits and vegetables and sandwiches. And she made sure we ate our vitamins every night, which some of us did not always follow. One time when we were in elementary school and we were moving to a different house, we moved Jon’s mattress. Underneath we found a giant stash of fluoride pills that Jon had secretly spit out every night after the lights were turned out. My mom loved to tell that story to show how mischievous Jon was.

She diligently researched the best books for us to read, and encouraged us to read biographies of great people so we could have role models to shape our own lives. She made sure we had piano lessons, violin lessons, drum lessons, bass guitar lessons, soccer during the fall, basketball in the winter, baseball in the spring, summer camps to go every year, Chinese school after church on Sunday, and even the dreaded Kumon.

When we were in high school, she encouraged us to study hard, but she also emphasized and demonstrated the importance of generosity and hospitality. We never had any hesitation to invite large gatherings over to our place, because we knew that our mom would prepare plenty of food and snacks for all who came over. We would invite the entire church youth group over to our house after church to hang out in the summer, watch movies in our basement, while my mom constantly prepared plates of snacks for people to pass around. Then we would head to the back porch where my mom and dad would prepare dinner for twenty hungry teenagers.

In college as well, my mom welcomed many of my international friends over during the longer breaks, as they often had no place to go to during the holidays. One thanksgiving break in college, I invited my then girlfriend Sue to my house, along with two other friends. Even before my mom knew that we were dating, she treated Sue like her own daughter the very first time they met. Sue remembers that her guest room was always prepared with love and care. Every Christmas break since then, my mom would prepare a gift for Sue as well. This past Christmas, my mom handed down her own nativity set and Christmas tree so that Sue can continue the tradition of having a warm and generous holiday spirit.

As we got older and moved away to college and jobs, my mom regularly checked on each one of us, gave us personally tailored advice, and made sure we were eating healthily, sleeping enough, living a balanced lifestyle, and most importantly, that we were keeping up and growing closer to God. She initiated family gatherings every year to make sure that we all spent time together at least once a year.

My mom taught me that the most important things in life are first and foremost my relationship with God, and second, my family. She made sure that I didn’t get too focused on my job at the cost of my family and my health. My mom taught me that by being generous with your time and energy, you will gain much more than you give. And my mom taught me to always strive to be better, to seek excellence, but to do it all honestly and without ever forgetting that money is not the most important thing in life, that character, and the way you carry yourself, is much more important.

Often times my mom may have thought her words fell on deaf ears, on her unappreciative and often-times stubborn kids. And although it may have taken some time for me to fully understand the sacrifices you have made and the wisdom you constantly tried to impart to us, now I at least understand and appreciate you more. I will strive to remember your words and the lessons you have taught us.

In your last days, we saw your tenacity for life and your strength, your will to live, and your ability to endure great suffering. At all times, you clung onto God and urged us to as well. Even your last words to us, you made us promise to read the Bible, pick a favorite verse to help guide our footsteps. You wanted to ensure that all of us would promise to pursue and grow closer to God. And I promise here again that I will do that.

Thank you ma. May you rest in peace.

Chanyoung sent a note: Nate, your tribute was deeply touching. (I cried...) As one of the "international students" who found home away home thanks to Mrs. Sun's hospitality, I am grateful and indebted. Until now I didn't know about the ailments she had to endure for the past three years--may she rest in peace, finally at home with God after her sojourn on earth. Praying that God's peace, and knowledge that she's in God's care, comfort and strengthen your family in this difficult time. Speak to you soon.

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whyyoushouldntgoogleme · 4 years

Text

Quarantine

They said we should write about this. That we’ll want to know what things were like during this historic time. The day to day life during a global pandemic.

3/20/2020

Here it is for me:

I’ve been unemployed since Jan. 10th. That means I’ve been spending almost all my time at home already. But before, it was my choice (kind of). I stayed in because anxiety. Because sadness. Because finances.

Now I am staying in because it’s important.

I’ve already been home for two months. I’ve cleaned out cupboards. I’ve organized shelves. I have watched TV and read and stared at nothing. I’ve slept in and stayed up and slept in some more.

I have eye strain from spending too much time with screens.

I rearranged the living room. Twice. And vacuumed obsessively.

Every day it’s like there is something sitting on my chest- anxiety asthma. All the time. Before I left the house today I took a puff of my inhaler. And a shot of arak. I needed both.

We went to Costco. There was a line down the side of the building to get in. They had barricaded the entrance with carts so no one could skip the line. They had sanitizing wipes for the cart handles and people directing you to the end of the line. They let us in in groups as people left the store. We didn’t wait in line too long. And when we got in, it wasn’t crowded. Thankfully.

I’m taking the social distancing and quarantine pretty seriously. I don’t let E leave even though he wants to. He’s not taking this as seriously as he should. I hope I’m over reacting. I really do.

(Side note- apparently we aren’t supposed to double space after sentences anymore. It gives you away as ‘old’. I guess I’m old. I like it. It’s better visually. I’m keeping it. But maybe not for cover letters.)

Costco was out of chicken. The just had frozen left, or ground turkey. We got frozen. My sister didn’t want frozen. She’ll go to Whole Foods later. We got toilet paper. Rationing. One per person. Mom got tissues. I’ll get some from her later.

I also got 6 bottles of prosecco. I’m into bubbly. And drinking. It helps.

We went to Target. I wanted a chair.

Last night I watched Burlesque (with Cher and Christina Aguilera) on Netflix party with my Tuesday girls (Emily, Marissa and Amberlee). It was a good movie. And now I will do burlesque. So I needed a chair.

We got laundry detergent too. And dish soap. And booze. You know, the essentials.

(We went to the liquor store, too)

We went to Winco to get the rest of our groceries. It was fairly crowded. Lots of empty shelves. I’ve never seen the upper shelves so bare (no pallets of back stock). People were kind. There was a very handsome man- graying hair and beard, glasses. I told him he was handsome. He said I made his day. I blushed. I can’t help it.

Brb prosecco.

I’m re-watching Queer Eye. I needed something happy.

Back to the state of things.

Target was the most empty of all the stores today.

I just found out that the position I’ve been interviewing for will be on hold for 60-90 days. I’ve had 3 interviews with them. I’m their favorite candidate. But they aren’t hiring right now because of all this. So there’s that.

I’m not sure I can wait. I need to have a job before E leaves for his internship. Things just got harder.

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ktrxs · 5 years

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8.11.19

Thursday, the camper caught on fire. We were supposed to leave Thursday, but that got pushed to Friday.

Now there was no way we could leave on Friday because the camper was on fucking fire and stranded on the side of the highway.

It was 6 miles away from their house and every towing company refused to move it without almost a thousand dollars.

So Saturday it was. We had our last MOD Pizza on Friday, they got the damn camper towed and my house was finally empty.

I didn’t say good bye to it. I didn’t do a silent walkthrough and touch its walls. Now, like I loved it because it was cute and it kept me safe while I grieved. But I wasn’t in love with it.

I was trapped in that house. There was nothing but a tear-soaked couch inside for me.

So I left it early Saturday morning and made a long trek down to Tennessee.

-----

On the way, I had an hour-long attack. Like sorry I’ve been surviving on pizza and Chinese food.

But, the thing is... My mom said she had to get her gallbladder removed at 26. Mamie had to get hers removed. I’m not sure if Uncle Mike has his.

I don’t want to remove an entire organ from my body. I do not want to be opened up like that. I do not want to trust a doctor with my life. I do not want to be drugged up. The 3rd most common death in the United States is medical errors.

Our 3RD MOST COMMON KILLER IS FUCKING DOCTORS.

I’m not fucking joking. Click on these clicks to go to actual scientific studies.

Side-effects from medications given in hospitals: 106,000 deaths

Receiving the wrong medication accidentally: 7,000 deaths

Hospital errors: 20,000 deaths

Hospital-acquired infections: 99,000 deaths

Complications from unnecessary surgeries: 12,000 deaths

Prescription drug side effects: Maybe 199,000 deaths

MEDICAL ERRORS: 98,000 deaths

300,000 people die due to doctors every fucking year.

(I’ve learned all this through How Not to Die by Micheal Greger)

Now, I’m not saying doctors are out to kill us. They are here to help SAVE us. Doctors want people to LIVE. But doctors are HUMANS and humans make MISTAKES.

One wrong move could end a life. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a person. And sometimes it just happens. IT AIN’T GONNA BE ME

----

My babies finally arrived. and over the next two days, Brandon build a wall and we unpacked and rearranged.

Our room looks so fucking cute.

It’s more space than our old apartment and than our Mercersburg room. Even though I still miss that balcony...

But it’s like a loft. It’s giving me Good Trouble vibes.

We can have a living room area with my couch. Brandon’s workspace is neat and not in the way at all.

I like it. He loves it.

And... we’re not going for the house. I would love that house, but I NEED to do my RV dream. I don’t want to wait 3-5 more years for it to happen.

So this is our home base for now. With the family.

It’s so so so so so so so wonderful to be with the family. I’m not trapped in the house. There’s always SOMEONE to do anything with. You’re never alone.

I wasn’t lying when I said I was trapped in my house in Chambersburg. There was nothing to do; nowhere to go. There was no one I knew. I didn’t have any fun scenery for walks or cycling. The only time I left was to go food shopping.

I’m not kidding.

Last April-June was awesome. I got a nice tan. It faded when I went back home. But yesterday I got some back!

We celebrated Uncle Mike’s bday yesterday. I was extra careful with the sunscreen because last time, I got sun poisoning on my back. That’s no bueno.

And even before the party, we went and got library cards. The cards down here are gorgeous. But we brought Payton and Sonia.

When you go out, you just steal a person here and there and it’s more fun and helps them get out too.

------

We’re going swimming again today. Well I am lol. I love fucking swimming. There was a two year gap from 2017 to 2019. 2018 sucked for everyone so there was no swimming, no pool, no beach.

getting in that water and feeling it around you is fucking amazing. and refreshing. my family is waterlogged. we don’t leave the water.

I really can’t express in words right now how much i appreciate water, swimming and a clean pool.

All i can say is, I kept trying to make every dip and dive as if it was my first. I would stand for a few minutes to dry off and then duck under the waves to get that first-time feel.

And yes i said waves. The kids love making waves in the pool. I want to get a couple boogie boards but i didn’t see them. The stores are prepping for fucking Halloween and it’s only August.

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I have a stack of boxes in a corner of the room. I call this my “garage.”

Those boxes are waiting for the house I’m going to buy. But there is no house now.

So some of it is waiting for our RV and the rest of it... needs to go.

So, those will stay until I get the strength and capacity to go through them one by one.

My home is here and in an RV. If I have something for a house, it’s gone.

------

I’m going to talk to my mom about using her front yard as a massive garden. I’m not sure how to keep out strays, but one of the things I was looking forward to in a house was creating a fruit forest and an edible landscape and a garden.

Pop already has a garden in the backyard....

------

I am excited to be down here and for my RV and for rocking my life and her getting vitamin D.

I cannot fathom at all that my entire house just fits into one room. Like there’s plenty of floor space and things are not crowded.

I kept worrying that we had too much shit and we need to get rid of things, but omg. my whole entire two-bedroom house fits in this one room. I just cannot deal.

------

One of our goals right now is to pay off the car. It’s $300 a month and it sucks. Car payments keep middle class stuck in middle class. I think thats a quote from Dave Ramsey.

But, it’s true. I will never finance a car again in my life. The future truck and RV will be payed out right. #neveragain

So, my goal is to pay it off before June 1st. We will need to put $1200 on it a month. We’ll be putting more on it since we have more than that left over after bills.

Having no rent or electric bills is a giant blessing my mom is giving us.

We’ll have an extra $1400 a month. And that’s going straight to debt and supplying some things for my mom.

-----

Okay I’m done typing. My computer is dying.

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mousedetective · 7 years

Text

For once, a (mostly) positive update!

So we’ll start with the negative, get it out of the way.

👎 My complex is changing parking permits and spaces, and when my mom went to get her new permit Monday she tried to tell management (specifically the reception person) that we have bedbugs, not scabies, and my mother was told “Yes, but she told us yada yada yada,” implying I had an ACTUAL CONVERSATION with management about the issue which, in fact, I have not (literally my grand total conversation about the subject amounted to, when being told I had to call the laundry company to get a refund on the $1.25 the dryer ate, said “Crap. Now I don’t have enough to finish the load. I’m trying to finish this scabies treatment.” That was IT.) No one has asked what doctors have said to me, or asked whether treatment for scabies worked (none of the three times I did it work), or have noted that UNTIL I got new mattresses with bug protection covers and washed all the bedding in hot water and Borax did my symptoms go away. I will try with the manager when she does the inspection but this pisses me off that they have made up their minds on ONE SENTENCE and photos and won’t actually TALK to me, but are perfectly willing to blame me for shit.

Now. Good news!

👍 I got in with a doctor I have seen before who I trust for the migraines (and kind of an ER followup) and I have a preventative medication to take twice a day, something for nausea for a little while, and more ibuprofen. The migraine meds will also supposedly help with my hypertension as a bonus, which is something my GP worried about. Downside is I have to stop taking one of my psych meds IMMEDIATELY but I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on the 10th so home inspection or not, I’ll go and get the meds situation sorted.

👍 We are almost done organizing! My room is moderately wrecked because I had to rearrange the closet AGAIN and also had to raise my son’s bed to put the storage bins with his toys under it, but the organizing seems to be finished in my room except one last shelf of books of mine, fixing my son’s bookshelf, putting all my newly found/now clean clothes away and working on the top of my nightstand and dresser. Then we need to get things into my mom’s vanity and deal with the stuff on/under the bathroom sink, deal with the rack over the toilet, and then all that will be left is the kitchen and the last bit of the living room floor, and then it’s just a heavy duty cleaning and airing out and boom. Done. I’m setting my alarm for 8 to work on the room and I’ll wake my mom up at ten to get her to help.

👍 Speaking of my mom, she saw her oncologist today. Everything looks good so far so, pending the results of lymph node tests she’ll have in about two weeks, she’ll have two more rounds of chemo and stop treatment, right around her birthday. I may pop up a post when she sees her oncologist September 5th for people to send her birthday/congratulations cards (and I may link her personal Amazon wishlist, don’t know) so she can get something other than bills and stuff about cremation (I swear to all that is holy, ONCE A WEEK there’s something from our local mortuary), especially since right now she’s still sad about her brother’s death.

👍 Oh! I am about 90% sure I have a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. It’s not confirmed with a rheumatologist, and I have to wait until I see my GP on the 11th of September to double check, but yeah. That’s what I think the experts she sent everything off to came back with as a diagnosis. So once I have that appointment in September and we start trying to get a different rheumatologist to see me, I might FINALLY be able to apply for disability.

#personal stuff #health issues #my family #housing issues #an update

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thoughtsfeelingsjustblah · 7 years

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1/24

I woke up at 8 and laid in bed until 9:10ish, thinking. I have no idea why this popped into my mind, but i’m going to blog about it, get it off my mind.

My brother was losing his touch with reality more than 7-8 years ago. My Mom and oldest brother were still alive. My oldest brother passed away in 2010, so i’d say 2009.

I did animal rescue for a while, until it got to a point that I was taking in more cats than I could handle, and more than could be re-homed. I lived up on a hill, with hills and trees all around. A good environment for the cats to run and play. I was overwhelmed, but took good care of those cats.

My brothers and Mother lived down the hill, near the busy road. He would get outside and call for my cats, putting out food for them. I didn’t want them to be lured down near that road. A couple were hit by cars, and I asked him not to call for them, he claimed he wasn’t - I could HEAR him when I was outside in the garden. We fought over this until I was tired of fighting over it.

So, he ended up with several cats in and around his trailer, people seen all the cats and started dropping them off, they began to multiply and that was where it began.

After bringing in so many cats, they let the house/trailer go. Over filled litter boxes. Cats crapping/peeing all over the floor, in the bathtubs, on top of cabinets. Noone was in a hurry to clean it! My Mom was sick, so I understand that. But, I don’t understand it with my brothers. Roaches took over. All 3 were heavy smokers, kept windows shut... The place was nasty, smelled thick of smoke. Walls and everything...nicotine stained. Noone seen this as a problem. If you stepped in the door for a minute, you’d leave smelling like you spent several hours in a poorly ventilated bar.

I stopped going to visit. I couldn’t. I was leave feeling sick. When I was down there, Mom would be more interested in watching the news, and act like I was interrupting. My brother would expect ME to clean the crap covered floor, he actually tried to tell me to do that one time. Because I would clean my Mom’s room when I would go down there. And seeing those cats, I just couldn’t.... So, I had to stop. Sadly, I hardly seen my Mom for the last few years of her life, and she lived right down the driveway from me.

To elaborate on what I mean, about the cats.. He (my brother) would put cats in cat carriers. And he would LEAVE them in cat carriers, for days, for weeks. A couple carriers would have two full grown cats in them. One carrier, left in the back room, had 3 cats that grew up in the carrier. They were feral, and unpredictable when I would let them out. When I came around, I let them out of the cat carriers. I begged them not to cage them. My brother, oldest brother and Mom all acted like I was being unreasonable! And of course, my letting them out of the cages was a huge deal, he would be so pissed off at me. I started to wait until my brothers weren’t home and go see my Mom and let all the cats out. I (and Nathan helped a couple times) cleaned out the nasty cages. At least one time, I was pulling out thick (i’m talking 5-6 inches) piles of shitty, pissy newspaper out of these cages, the smell would about knock you off you feet. It was BAD.

He would keep lining the cages with newspaper, over top of old newspaper (+urine and feces). And, he acted like this was normal to him. Not an issue at all. Roaches rushed out at me as I lost my breath trying to clean these cages. It was disgusting.

In 2014, my Mom was dying in the hospital. My brother asked me to go get something from their place. I walked into this once nice mobile home, for the first time in at least 2-3 years. I was horrified. Feces covered the floors, some even on the lower part of the walls. Filth all over the kitchen cabinets, a couple barely hanging on by broken hinges. Cigarette butts and a few piece of trash strewn around. My Mom’s room was the cleanest, but her empty bed looked so pitiful with her baby wipes that she cleaned up with a couple other items on the side of the bed, where she always kept them. So empty without her. You see, for the last 10 years or so of her life, maybe a little longer, her health (both physical and mental) declined a lot. She went from not wanting to leave the house to not wanting to leave her bed....and she didn’t. Only to use the bathroom that was in her room, she didn’t go out in the living room/kitchen. So, to see that empty bed, it was a pitiful sight for me. I left that place in absolute horror, it was unbelievable.

A couple times over the years, Mom would be in the hospital and Nathan and I would clean the house for her. Once, my brothers helped. That was a long time ago. Each time, it would go right back to the nasty mess, soon after they returned home.

During severe depressive episodes, I have let things go for a while. BUT NOTHING LIKE THAT!! I can’t understand how anyone can think it’s ok to live that way.

Things were always cluttered when I was growing up. My Mom cleaned in her younger days, but not the way I like to clean. I remember one time, I was maybe 13 or 14... My Mom was out somewhere with my Dad and my brothers were out. I decided to surprise my Mom by cleaning the house before she got home. Everything was spotless. I rearranged things a little... I thought that would be ok, because everything was so cluttered and out of place. I looked around, and couldn’t wait to see my Mom’s face when she seen what I had done! She got home, and the yelling started. I was in trouble. She shouted at me that this was her house and when I am older and have my own house I can do what I want with it, but I don’t touch her house. I was stunned. I put a lot of work into it, thought I would make her happy for once.

She enjoyed living in a messy, cluttered environment. I.....do....NOT. I can’t deal with it. I feel a strong sense of chaos when things are cluttered and unorganized. I feel so much better when everything is organized. My home, my car, even my purse. One of the best feelings in the world. Right now, my purse is a mess and i’m still trying to organize this house. Even if I have to move, I want to make it nice while i’m here. It will be easier to pack, being organized, too.

My Mom’s house was always cluttered. Lots of dusty nicnacks all around. Shoes, sock, empty cigarette packs that my brothers thought were meant to be on the floor apparently. My Mom’s stand, cluttered with an overflowing ashtray, pens, writing tablets, crochet stuff, and whatever else. Living room table always covered in random messiness. My Dad always sat at the dining room table. His little area was organized, but still, why keep papers, coupons, bills, etc on the dining room table? He also had a huge stack of papers on one of the chairs. The rest of the table (only his part was tidy-ish) was a disaster. The kitchen? EVERYTHING was to be left on the counter! I was always putting away bread, chip and cookie bags, etc.. They would end up right back on the chaotic, cluttered counters again. WHY? I will never understand. I don’t even like a freaking toaster to be left out in the kitchen. I can not stand clutter, it makes me shutdown emotionally. Sound crazy? Well, i’m sorry. It is what it is.

Back to the original story. How could anyone ever think it was ok to cage cats for long periods of time, in their own waste? We had so many explosive arguments over this.

Not only did the house get nasty, but personal hygiene began to slip, somewhere along the way. For several years, my Mom stopped bathing. She used baby wipes to clean up. She said she was afraid to take a shower. I offered to help her, she refused, every time. For years, my brother stopped showering, too. I’m not sure about my oldest brother, he didn’t seem especially clean, but I don’t know if he completely stopped showering or not. They were not always like this.

I thank God that I took after my Dad as much as I did. I love them all, but I will never understand some things.

Anyone else watch a loved one mentally decline, and there was nothing you could do?

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