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ronkeyroo · 3 months

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A positive Update

Friends, kind folk - Hello Again 🤍

Ever since my last update post, I've been thinking about it , a lot ;; I knew I needed time to cook and reflect, and im so glad I gave myself that...

2024 started rough for me; I fell severely ill again - I was too busy cursing my life and dwelling over how betrayed I felt by things still not getting better despite my efforts that I didn't realize I was walking into a self fulfilling prophecy. Its true that the struggles I'm going through are yet to be solved, that its gotten so much to the point giving up seemed easier, and that a couple individuals haven't been making it easier on me either; I swayed and i rattled and I steered within feelings ranging from confusion to anger to dismay and all of this back and forth did nothing but remind me of yet another self-destructive loop I just don't want to allow in my life anymore. Its exactly the kinda stuff that made me ill to begin with, and I've been so lost dealing with everything in between that i forgot to tend to the actual core centering all of this...

It grew unbearable how much emotional and physical turmoil I was pushing myself into, and knowing how intertwined these two elements have been; I had to draw a line before i majorly screwed myself over, gathering any bit of inner will to discipline myself back into some sort of clarity, enough to at least look through a lens OUTSIDE my pain for once, towards the kind of life I want to lead, and the kind of life I don't; and I came to an understanding.

From my physical state to my mental, to the people and memories I've experienced, both the good and the bad - I want to prioritize the good.

Not in a shitty ass, toxic optimism kinda way but in a "I want to prioritize knowing and living the possibility that even when it hurts, even when i want to be gone, even when life doesn't align - There's still every good reason in the world to keep moving forward, to face things from a perspective of growth & compassion, and to grow to love the promise of a better tomorrow even when today was unbearable." To know that I don't end or begin in my suffering, that the infinite potential I speak so fondly of applies to me, as well...

I want to be able to wield and create and share that goodness, too, Especially when it is already in decline...And for all gods sake, to internalize that all of this STILL exists and STILL matters even when it doesn't work the first couple or dozens of times.

As for my place here in Tumblr...I know the sentiment might feel silly to some but the experiences, memories, and connections I've made here have truly been such a significant force in my life, and i don't want to give up on that ;; Not because of my own insecurities, or an inner state of hopelessness, and especially not over a bunch of emotionally immature Anons that dont know how to handle themselves; I want to forgive all of that.

I'm stubborn, and there's an unyielding force within me that no matter how many times it is struck down, it proved itself ridiculously resilient. I'm perking up with with a fiery confidence realizing just how many times it rose back up, enough to realize it is an unchangeable part of me ;_; I shouldn't underestimate that force, and I want to keep living by its side. Whatever positive change I can sprinkle onto my life and the lives of those I care for, I will! And the reason why this space in particular is so important to me, is because so much of that already exists here, alongside you folks;

THAT'S the kind of energy i want to nourish and walk into the new year with! I want to continue growing as a person, challenging my inner turmoils, undoing the self punishing dogmas that still haunt me, stop flexing my teeth over things that don't deserve my time and god DAMN, just - indulge in the stuff that makes me happy, even when I'm going through unhappy times.

So yeah...I guess that means, I'm back & I'm staying ;_;)🧡

I know i may seem like a broken record when it comes to expressing gratitude but - Thank you, thank you thank you everyone who have reached out for me, who so fondly kept me in their thoughts and kept encouraging me whenever i was hurting, both then and now...You folks mean more than whatever ailment or struggle I can go through, and while I'm unsure of how the future will look like as I'm still going through various challenges- I couldn't have asked for a cooler, sweeter audience to have by my side whenever Its time to take a rest or hype over our sexy delicious blorbos!

Speaking of which....................I have been cooking quite a lot of things in the time i was away 👀✨ I most definitely intend to serve them, eheheh

#Ronkey Posts #Waving a tired yet happy hello #Back from the dead and ready to SLAY or just to relax and chill and remember that goodness is a force undying ;_;#i missed you folks so much...

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mamuzzy · 7 months

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"Cin Vhetin." The small silence indicated, Dogma had no idea what Commander Fox just said and felt shame. Lack of knowledge never was an excuse during exams, and proved to be deadly on the battlefield. But Fox's eyes gazed him as if he was waited for an answer - patiently as ever with him -, at least he could be professional even if it caused dissappointment to his Commander. "I… I don't understand, sir" said sheepishly, face flushed, eyes to the ground. "Eyes up, Dogma. Look at me." Dogma instantly straightened, clicked his heels like a good soldier he was. "Yes, sir!" Fox let out a small chuckle. "Cin Vhetin" repeated. "It means 'White field', ground covered with fresh, virgin snow. From this point, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what have you done, what choices you have made, your footsteps you are about to take will not leave traces of your old self. Because from now on, you are a new person and your journey once again starts with new posibilities, new challenges, and of course, new mistakes to be made." Dogma's eyes widened as tried to find understanding in Fox's words. He wanted to trust. He wanted to believe it was possible to start over, to erase his past. He couldn't have been able to do this at the 501st, but here, at the Coruscant Guard, was it really an option? "Commander, sir, I don't want to repeat my mistakes." "Then don't" said Fox, just like that. "Thrive for the better." "What if I choose wrong again?" Dogma looked pleadingly at Fox to answer the thousands of what ifs that filled his aching heart and racing mind. "What if I put you in danger too because... because the way I am?" "Dogma, remember" Fox reached out to gently grab Dogma's shoulder to ground him. "You are not alone. I - WE - will guide you. We are here for you to help you through your first steps and beyond too. We won't let your hand, understand? But you have to start to take that first step on the white field: to finally forgive yourself." A familiar feeling stinged the corners of Dogma's eyes. The pressure what tormented him for weeks since he was out of his cell just released in a form of tears. "Understood, sir." "Will you try that for me?" "Yes, sir" he nodded with a stifled sniff. Fox smiled at him. "Good man."

I went with soft words of reassurance! Aaaaa, I'm sorry @persephoneofhades, when I tried to save your ask as a draft, the whole thing went missing into the void along with your message. .__. Thank you for the prompt, your patience, and I hope you like it! <3

First I had an idea that I draw him with Rex but it just didn't work. I can totally imagine that Rex praises his men randomly with an occasional "good job!" and such but to express reassurance on personal level to whom he isn't close to? I don't think so. So I decided it will be Corrie!Dogma and Fox.

I love Dogma. Precious baby boy. And I love corrie!Dogma too. Wether he was secretly snatched out of the prison or Fox and Rex remained good brothers to come up with a plan about discreetly integrating Dogma into the CG, I really love the AUs where he gets a chance to redeem himself and find a family he can bond with and learn the true meaning of having brothers to watch your back.

#clone trooper dogma #corrie!dogma #dogma #commander fox #coruscant guard #the clone wars #star wars #peony draws stuff #peony answers #ask game #peony writes stuff

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bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon · 8 months

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Moving Meditation Motivations Discovering the Right Focus Technique

There are some people who can sit through meditation while other individuals simply cannot. During a passive meditation they find themselves fidgeting and unable to focus. This leads to further frustrations, and an unwillingness to try any sort of meditation again.

The advice most people hear is to try again or that they were not doing it right. Well, guess what? There are other ways to possibly reach a meditative state of mind when your body is in motion. Moving meditation, if done accurately can give a person the same benefits as passive meditation where one sits.

How to Choose Your Activity

It should be something that engages you and holds your focus for an extended period roughly anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes a day. To gain a better meditative state one must do something that is continuous, fluid, methodical, and repetitive so that the movements become more automatic in time.

For example, a walk in the park at a steady pace putting your attention on your breath, and taking in the sights that surround you such as:

how the sun feels on your skin

the clouds overhead

if there is a wind breeze

examining the trees and their own leaves

It's all about the state of mind you're able to achieve being one of mindfulness, of living in the moment, of relaxed awareness.

Other Suggestions

Walk a Labyrinth: One walks clockwise in a circle or in a particular pattern towards the center of a destination point. It should not be like a maze where you find yourself frustrated towards the end, but choosing a pattern that fits you and your needs.

Qigong: This is a 5,000-year-old Chinese health exercise technique. Its goal is to synchronize the breath with the mind's intentions. One moves with flow and grace as they further learn this skill. A regular practice can lower your blood pressure and boost your immunity, flexibility, and circulation.

Example:

1. Relax your body, imagining that your feet are sinking deep into the earth. Your hands are in front of your lower belly, palms facing each other, forming a ball of energy.

2. Inhale. Open your arms to the sides as if to expand the ball, while raising your arms, to shoulder height.

3. At shoulder level, turn the thumbs back and the palms up and exhale, releasing any tension from your body as you drop and relax your shoulders, elbows, and hands.

4. Inhale, as you raise your arms up over your head.

5. Palms facing down, deeply exhale as you lower them, “showering” the body with cleansing, revitalizing energy. Repeat three times.

Yoga Exercises: There are several different methods of yoga, some having religious dogma attached while others focus primarily on the exercises themselves. Everyone has different preferences, but if you are looking to simply relax and reach a meditative state then I suggest trying out the exercises themselves. This is a practice to connect the body and mind into one.

Tai Chi: Short for Tai ji quan, or T'ai chi ch'üan, is an internal Chinese martial art practiced for both its defense training, its health benefits and meditation. The term Taiji refers to a philosophy of the forces of yin and yang.

Karate Katas: A practice of detailed patterns of movements either solo or in pairs. Karate kata are executed as a specified series of a variety of moves, with stepping and turning, while attempting to maintain perfect form.

Art: painting, drawing, etc.

Crafts: knitting, crocheting, paper folding, weaving, anything rhythmic.

Exercise: stationary bike, weightlifting, elliptical machine, step climbing, sports, etc.

Playing a game that has a repeating theme and is not too difficult that one can get into.

Music: focusing on the song's rhythm, beats, and possibly lyrics. Pick something that reached out to you as an individual.

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y-rhywbeth2 · 4 months

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Lore: Dwarven Magic

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

I got irritated trying to build one large compilation, so I figured I'd start posting things in smaller chunks.

Anyway: That dwarven tendency towards having sudden premonitions of the future, and a focus on the forms of magic other than that practiced by proper dwarven society (ie divine magic), like those kids and their new-fangled arcane magic, and dwarven bee keepers, also known as druids (bees, bees, bees, GIANT BEES). God I love the dwarves for that alone.

Dwarves have an uncanny knack for foretelling future events; a dwarf feels their death approaching when their time draws near, and some experience brief flashes of events in their future (good or bad). Dwarves put a lot of stock in the concept of fate, and it's firmly believed that these premonitions are sent to them by the gods, "to ensure that each dwarf knows when an encounter, decision, or deed is especially important to the Folk as a whole, so he might act accordingly."

The dwarven gods "serve their steadfast worshippers diligently" and their people respond to this with devotion - they are an extremely religious peoples. They're firm in their belief that as long as they follow their deities' dogmas faithfully that the gods will aid them in their time of need. As their gods place a strong emphasis on hierarchy and honour, the dwarves follow suit, and a good dwarf will always honour their vows. As a result of this emphasis on religion, dwarven magical tradition is predominantly divine magic, with a minority of druidry. Arcane magic has only seen use amongst dwarves in recent history (in the decades following 1306 DR).

Dwarven clerics have a tighter relationship than most do with their gods, as their dwarven gods are more likely to aid their followers directly than any other pantheon. This direct connection to the divine gives a cleric great standing in their society, and also means that dwarven religion is less likely to be corrupted and more likely to be accurate to what the deity believes than how the priesthood "reinterprets" it (Moradin is watching and will slap you over the back of the head).

That said, the gods do play favourites and are more likely to respond to those favourites.

The aid they ask must also be for the sake of bettering the lot of dwarves as a whole in order to be given.

Those who become priests often feel an affinity from a young age. They hear their deity's voice in their mind, experience an impression of their emotion or witness visions of them.

Amongst non-dwarves clerics will usually hide their status, and are loathe to allow outsiders to witness them in worship or casting spells (these are sacred, holy and private things not to be witnessed by undwarven eyes).

Traditionally, only men were allowed to become clerics of male deities, and vice versa.

The most powerful clerics are known as the High Old Ones (level seven and higher, mechanically). Theirs is the most direct line to the divine; they are the direct servants of the dwarven gods, and their very voices on Toril. If a High Old One reports news of a nearby potential threat to their god, they can expect divine intervention of some sort (even if it's just the deity tracking the threat's movements and reporting back to the dwarves so that they can protect themselves).

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Prior to the Thunder Blessing in 1306 DR, dwarves were incapable of arcane magic. Spells fizzled in their hands, or else went horribly awry in a manner akin to wild magic. It was the generation born afterwards that brought arcane magic into dwarven society.

Dwarves with an interest in arcane magic generally favour the god Durgmaren Brightmantle, the god of knowledge and discovery and often join his clergy.

In terms of arcane spellcasters, dwarves respect wizards more than sorcerers. A wizard studies and perfects their craft through skill, where a sorcerer simply inherits theirs through sheer luck of winning the genetic lottery. Many dwarven wizards are specialists.

Abjuration is often practiced by the religious - many multiclass as clerics of Berronar Truesilver and Dumathoin, and due to the school's popularity amongst the former's followers, many dwarven abjurers are women. -

Illusion is gnomish business (perhaps their only flaw), and such spells should never be used by respectable dwarves unless it's in defence of their homes (in which case it's used to improve traps and such). -

There are no laws against necromancy, but the fact that the school is inherently tied to the darker parts of existence means it's shunned by almost everybody and few seek to specialise in it. -

Divination is primarily the domain of clerics, but some mages have found a niche for themselves as advisors to those in power. -

Conjurers are uncommon, but when found will usually be seen amongst patrols defending dwarven settlements. Evokers can also be found amongst the ranks of dwarven warriors. -

Dwarves shun enchantment... unless they're dealing with trade partners and competitors that prove themselves untrustworthy, in which case, cast all the charm spells you like! -

Transmutation is primarily seen amongst shield dwarves, and the spells are not seen as useful for much aside from personal gain.

Druidry was shunned, historically. It's too tied to that baffling foreign concept of leaving nature as it is; imperfect. Druidry is seen as a thing for humans and elves, it's strange fey stuff. Even now it's not a popular choice, and dwarven druids are rare. The dur Authalar, also known as jungle dwarves, made an exception to this rule.

Nevertheless, at some point "generations ago" a group of dwarves formed between two clans called the Earth and Stone Conclave, where members of each dwarven subrace (save the duergar) could come together and discuss dwarven culture and issues. The druids of the dur Authalar introduced their cousins to the concept of apiculture.

The other dwarves discovered that "holy shit we love honey" and decided that learning this tree-hugging fey stuff was an acceptable sacrifice to better understand the bees and make better honey.

Dwarves having a philosophy of "everything can and should be improved upon" they also improved the bees by engineering giant bees.

Giant bees are large enough to be ridden on, and often serve as animal companions and steeds to dwarven druids. Their druids also tend to style their warpaint after bee stripes. When going into battle, the druid will usually fly in astride the giant bee, with swarms of regular bees serving as shock troops under their command. They don't generally fight to the death, but usually use their tiny troops to irritate a foe into retreating. Their favoured weapons tend to be crafted from the lost stingers of said giant bees (spears, for example)

Due to this combat role, dwarven druids often multiclass as fighters, rangers and barbarians. They're walking apothecaries who can provide alleviation from bee-stings and complications, and always have summoning spells prepared to call on the hive if needed.

Most of their time is spent tending to the hives and working with honey.

The dur Authalar do not keep hives the way shield and gold dwarves do; they simply keep track of naturally established hives in the wild that they take care of and establish a rapport with.

#Dwarven apiculture is a whole bigger thing but I'll talk about that elsewhere #*deep breath* BEEEES #I love bees #Honey's good too #dwarf tav

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blackjackkent · 3 months

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Oh man, there's a lot here in the graveyard. Karlach's parents are buried here and she asked Hector if they could stop and say hi.

Of course Hector beelined for it. <3 This was an incredibly sweet little moment and as usual, her VA and facial animation are making me cry.

"Here lies Pluck and Caerlack Cliffgate. My parents. Hi mum. Hi dad."

"Sorry I haven't visited. I've been... away. But I'm back now! And I brought friends."

She and Hector exchanged a cute little glance here.

"I miss you so much. But I'm happy. And getting up to some really important shit."

"Maybe you can see for yourselves. I don't know."

"You're with me here, anyway. Taters."

Hector has just been listening to this and watching her with a gentle smile on his face. "Taters?" he asks softly, when she seems to have run out of words.

She laughs, just a little shakily. "Meant 'I love you' in the Cliffgate household. I can't even remember how it started anymore. Lost family lore."

(A/N: What an incredibly sweet, detailed little character note, holy shit.)

"There was a lot of silly nonsense in our house." Her gaze is distant, drifting through memories long gone. "My mates used to say we had our own personal language. I guess I'm the last remaining speaker." Her smile flickers slightly.

He reaches out and takes her hand, feeling his heart twist a little in his chest. For not the first time nor the last, he is struck by how brutally unfair her lot has been, to be pulled from a loving family and a life she was happy in, and instead thrust into the torment of the Hells with no possibility of escape. To have lost both her past and her future to the greed of Gortash and the cruelty of Zariel.

Deep at the back of his mind, so deep that he barely even acknowledges it himself - he is a little jealous, too, of the kindness and warmth and love she describes in her childhood, something that for all his contentment at the monastery, was never truly part of his life. But he is also deeply grateful that she had it - that it molded her into the kind woman that he loves, molded her so strongly that the Hells couldn't beat it out of her.

"Mum used to say there was no such thing as death," Karlach goes on thoughtfully. "That there was only change. Dad thought that was a load of woo. That gone meant gone, unless you'd struck a deal with one of the gods. Said he had better things to do in life than beg favors off immortals."

She draws a heavy breath, absently interlacing her fingers with his. "I'm not sure what I believe."

He is quiet for a few moments, thinking. He is, of course, trained in the dogma of the Selunites and could speak quite knowledgeably on the workings of the gods - at least such as it was taught to him - but he doesn't think she really wants a lecture on the City of Judgment and its uncertain outcomes right now.

She is thinking ahead to her own impending mortality. She wants comfort, something that is hopeful, and his voice giving it to her.

"Your mum was right," he says softly. "Our bodies become soil, water, air. We don't die, we just change..."

To his relief, he sees her expression relax slightly.

"Nice thought, isn't it?" she murmurs. "This grass could be my mum's hair. The air in my lungs might be my dad telling me 'taters.'" She smiles, leans her shoulder against his gently. "I like that."

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<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I love Karlach so much, you guys.

The game didn't give me the opportunity, unfortunately, but Hector absolutely starts saying 'Taters' to her in place of 'I love you' sometimes. Not all the time, but just here and there, so she's not the last carrier of the tradition, and so she knows he's listening and will remember - both her and her parents.

Once again including the recording of this scene here because Karlach's VA and facial animations are really half of what make her scenes so affecting.

youtube

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #wehhhhhhhh karlach <3 #Youtube

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haggishlyhagging · 1 year

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I gave religion up without a backward glance, and I gave it up forever. That doesn't mean that I ceased to believe in a beneficent universe, a universe that wishes all life well. As far back as I can remember, I was always aware of a reality that could be neither seen nor heard, but only most overwhelmingly felt. When I gave up religion, I gave up the nonsense I was taught that this experience of transcendence was named God, that it was male, that it was other, outside me, independent of me, and much superior to me in every way, superior beyond description or imagination. I gave up the idea of "worship" altogether. It made me feel small and weak and I knew by then that the true expression of my spirit made me feel invincible.

While I was still in the Church, however, belief in Mother in Heaven provided a transition for me from Father-god to god-within, and I was learning that before there was God, there was the Goddess. But I had no desire to go back to ancient Goddess religion. I rapidly rejected the notion of putting a skirt on God, calling him "the Goddess," and worshipping essentially the same sort of being, enwrapped in dogma and hierarchical trappings. God in drag is still God.

Yet I speak of the Goddess often, lovingly, and carry the image of her in my mind, an image that helps me counter the image of male deity which still insinuates itself in a dozen ways into my psychic landscape. I know that Goddess ritual, insofar as it generates reverence for and celebrates that which is female, which is us, is fiercely empowering, and that her image in our minds—images of ourselves as deity—is necessary as a blueprint for a more authoritative mode of being in the world. The Goddess is a metaphor for our own and all women's creative, healing, transformative powers, a representation of our inner selves; “something tangible, a concrete image [that] captures our full attention and draws [us] into the metaphoric process. . . .” But she must remain consciously metaphorical and only metaphorical or we risk externalizing and losing our power again, we risk relinquishing responsibility for our lives again. Even with the Goddess established securely in our minds only as metaphor, we must be careful to avoid participation in any Goddess rituals or events that stress our helplessness, our need to be rescued or to be dependent on strong spiritual leaders, rituals which encourage self-indulgent emotionalism or involve us in thoughtless theatrics. Genuine spirituality for women will always have its foundation in a radical feminist analysis. Feminism is spirituality. But it is not "religion." It is about the rising of the spirit of half the human race. It is the foundation of the women's movement which is the greatest spiritual revolution in world history, producing globally the most profoundly transformative human change ever wrought.

I came to view that impetus for growth and for good in the universe with which I felt in greater harmony every passing day not as outside me, but within me, not as separate from me, but part of me as I was part of it, not as infinitely wiser and better than I but as my peer. Together, shoulder to shoulder, we were the creators of heaven and earth and all that lives in them.

Sonia Johnson, Going Out of Our Minds: The Metaphysics of Liberation

#sonia johnson #feminist spirituality #anti religion #anti christianity #womens liberation #women’s movement #radical feminst

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masterjedilenawrites · 1 year

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I am curious as to your headcanons for the clones with a Grey Jedi S/O. Are they cautious, curious, impressed? And for that matter, how likely are they to pursue such a relationship since they're not bound by the Code like the Order is?

🐢 Sloooowly making my way through requests. Sorry for the wait on this!

Cody, Kix, and Dogma are intrigued. Their curiosity has definitely been piqued, especially regarding the open door to a relationship. They would've been doing all they could not to fall for this person (which is to say not very well), believing they were off-limits due to being a Jedi. But now, now they'll be very interested to learn more about what it means to be a "Grey Jedi" and will take special note of the fact that attachments aren't off the table. They'd be more willing to be with a Grey Jedi than another other Jedi.

Rex and Wolffe are conflicted. They have come to care for the Jedi, both their Jedi Generals and the Order as a whole. They admire what the Jedi stand for, how caring and hopeful they can be even amidst a war. But now they have a crush on this particular Jedi who walks a fine line between light and dark, and they don't know how they feel about that. They would need to be convinced the Jedi wasn't corrupted by the dark side, and better understand everything else they stand for, before being comfortable pursuing a relationship.

Fives, Jesse, and Tup are impressed. They think it's pretty cool their S/O has found a way to encompass different values outside of the traditional Jedi customs, while still maintaining a stance for all things good and fair. They appreciate the hard work and dedication it takes to dabble in unknown areas, just enough to draw strength to fight for what's right without being corrupted by it. They are amazed by what their S/O can do with their unconventional position, and grateful that it allows them to have a relationship without feeling guilty.

Fox and Hardcase are ambivalent on the matter. They don't mind too much what their S/O does or stands for, just so long as they aren't cruel or unethical about it. They believe people are more than their professions, even the clones as soldiers, though perhaps they wouldn't voice those opinions aloud for a while. They'll learn enough about this "greyness" their S/O embraces as a part of getting to know them, the whole them, along with everything else. And they'll be both encouraging and supportive, knowing this path is what makes them them.

#star wars #the clone wars #clones #clone x jedi #sw x so #grey jedi #commander cody #commander wolffe #commander fox #captain rex #kix #fives #tup #jesse #hardcase #dogma

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browzerhistory · 2 months

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this started out as tags on a post but i realized i should probably just. make my own post at this point.

anyways ohhhg my god dont even TALK to me about a post-prime trio situation. ill start crying. GOOD GOD the betrayal and even if its post 6-2 that they meet again what would there even be to SAYYYY!!!

chewing on the minosgabe especially because like okay. minos was getting through to him before he was assassinated. gabriel knew that the council (and by extension The Father Himself, though he'd never admit it) were being needlessly cruel to the sinners. not just in lust but through all of hell (he was the closest to the ferrymen but knew of the futility of their devotion for example). but i think it scared him to think about everything he's ever known being a lie, not to mention the threat of getting his light and title stripped if he stepped out of line. so to reconcile it, he followed orders and killed minos. maybe he convinced himself (or was convinced) minos was trying to lead him astray or smthn.

gabriel would not only understand minos wanting to shred him, he'd Want him to. the only way gabriel knows how to make things right is someone getting hurt. so it's natural for him to offer an eye for an eye so to speak. and of course minos would want to kick his ass at first (his whole boss fight speech is pretty indicative of this i think). but given time to think with his Judge Brain, he'd realize death is not fitting for what he did. gabriel wants it to be, but that's because the only kind of justice he knows is the kind the church teaches. minos knows it would be infinitely better (and infinitely crueler, in a way) to let him live with himself.

ohhgggg and sisyphus and minos post prime... this really depends on how one sees their relationship while they were alive. BUT. the dynamic of like. these two who have faced actual hell together and were murdered by the same guy only to come back irreversibly altered in every sense of the world. and despite everything it's still the man they fell in love with but theres so much each went through that the other wont know. BUT THE LOVE IS STILL THERE. (havr you noticed a pattern with me about this theme) godddd and then to have them be faced with gabriel.. also changed deeply from who he used to be but who is still the angel who killed them. (IN A SENSE. because he hasnt had as much Time as the other two. and we all know how the church has to be taken out of someone. piece by bloody piece.) to have gabriel There before them understanding what he did was infinitely fucked and understanding if they want to kill him.

and don't even get me STARTED on gabriel and sisyphus post prime. here is this angel who minos tried to change while he was alive. tried to make him see the injustices of heaven. and sisyphus Saw the progression in his thinking on the rare occasions where they did meet. and maybe he started to hope that things could be different because if even the Righteous Hand Of The Father can have doubts in the system then maybe change is possible. but then gabriel kills both of them on the council's orders. and he knows that dogma is buried deeper in his being than either of them can know, let alone change, like that deer that got shot through the rib but lived and ossified the arrow - but they're on the killing end of it, so what does it matter in the end?

i don't know how they'd cross the bridge of trust at first tbh. i don't think minos would even want to look at gabriel. (he trusted him.) and yeah gabriel changed especially post 6-2/council murder but there's only so far that can take him. like i said above i think minos would let/make him live with what he did. i don't think sisyphus would want to take gabriel out as much, esp. if it's post 6-2 since at that point gabriel is just as holy as they are and killing him wouldn't really change anything. he's changed but he's still got a very long way to go yk?

ugh idk i feel like i could draw this better than i can write it. these are just random characters they don't mean anythingg

#ultrakill tag #nobody talk to me or look at me or percieve my existence at all.#this isnt even my toys at this point this is my visions #if it hadnt been so shocking if it hadnt hurt so bad perhaps i couldve moved my shaking hands to hit you back. thats minosgabe betrayalto me

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cyanomys · 3 months

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What I Learned In College

Here's what I learned from the 6 miserable years I spent at college:

If you struggle to to focus on a single expertise, you might as well not pursue any subject at all.

If you make art that other people don't like, you should be shamed.

If you make art to please other people, you should be shamed.

No amount of passion can make up for a lack of executive function

It's shameful to not know how to do everything already.

If you take time to figure things out, everyone else will pass you by

It's better to not try than make a fool of yourself trying your best.

Your worth is directly tied to how much you produce. If you aren't producing, you are failing.

There is no excuse for any failure, including physical health or family emergencies.

For my naive, neurodivergent, OCD brain, the american college system was frankly a traumatic experience. It took every ounce of me to finish my degree, and after I was finished I didn't get it all back.

You can learn these awful takes outside of college, but college is what crystalized them in me. Over my 6 years at 3 universities, in 4 degree programs, this dogma was beat into my soul. It's been three years since I graduated and I have not recovered.

Creativity, self expression, and relaxation are basically broken for me. I don't draw anymore. I don't play music anymore. I barely read novels or watch TV. I struggle with the one hobby I've clung on to (tabletop games.)

I don't even work in the field in which I got my degree, and I've never made more than $15/hour. So none of that was worth it (plus the cost...)

For some people (especially neurotypical people) who didn't struggle as much to finish college, they might not feel this way. However I can't get over the fact this was, at least in small part, on purpose. Professors nearly said as much. This is what they wanted me to know.

College (as a business*) is the culminating event of an indoctrination machine. It sucks up bright children and spits out dull, uninspired, broken adults.

I feel stolen from and betrayed. All I can do is the slow work of finding the pieces of myself that I lost, to make something new. And I paid money for this

*obviously not all of academia is like this, but your average state or local university undergrad program often is.

#college #university #mental health #neurodivergent #adhd #neurodiversity #personal posts

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granulesofsand · 5 months

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hey there, good timezone. wishing you well. i've considered this for a while but never quite committed to the concept because.. hoo boy. anyway:

tbmc survivor here. do you personally feel that understanding the perpetrating organization's ideology could be useful in communicating, understanding, and figuring out how to work with parts? and, when their dogma/ideology is so complex/layered, how would you go about tracking and understanding it? especially when there's an excess of unusual vocab and concepts to be unraveled.

many thanks.

Unraveling Dogma

That’s up to you. I can tell you how we went about it, and if any of it sounds familiar we can talk again.

We’ve found a lot of good in unraveling our group’s ideology and what each alter was taught. It’s been smoother with the higher ups; not everything they learned was bad, but they couldn’t change anything until they understood what the different pieces meant to them.

They listed the principles, picked them apart, and put something together that was safer. It took a while, several cycles of picking and assembling, but a good few have come up with a healthy practice.

Part of the time spent in the spiral will be learning more about the heftier concepts— you can probably find a few fundamental beliefs and work out from there. It’s a spiral because you’re moving in more than just the same circle, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

You’re probably going to find conflicts in what you experienced versus what they claimed they were doing. Groups tend to work like that, and even abusive groups with abusive doctrine stray every so often. There’ll be times when people placed power over procedure, especially if it’s an offshoot of a nonabusive practice.

There were likely tricks to convince you the group or an authority was all-powerful or capable of defying the laws of physics. Even if you believe in some of what you were taught, you don’t have to believe they did it (talking with deities, for example).

Expect pushback from alters who were conditioned with all of it. Showing them new points to empower themselves where power was taken can help. Higher ups are often told they’re special or suffering for a cause; they might have to break down where they find meaning, but they can also build it back up.

The plain logistics with vocabulary and layers we did with charts and drawings. Every time we found a hierarchy, we drew it out separately. Every new word gets added to a list and a web connecting it to similar concepts.

Pull it apart and lay it out so you can see it, even if not all at the same time. We make books for our internal archive so others can learn without fronting, but that’s different for everyone too.

Researching other religions, starting with those entwined with that one, helps trace the origins of each bit. There’s a chance of finding other means of worship if you can trace the root

Our group was primarily dualist Christian, heavy belief in both God and Satan. Converts brought their previous culture with them, including some religious ties. The leaders prioritized power and balance, and thought their best bet was to trace those beliefs as far back as they could.

The end result was a convoluted and twisty belief system that sometimes contradicted itself. We learned about Crowley and sex magic and the Assyrian gods who used temple prostitution, and from that alone we got two of our higher ups participating in alternative methods.

You might be chasing word etymology and ceremonial history for a while. Ultimately, it’s good to have a better understanding of other beliefs. It might be too difficult to get into what your group had, but there is still benefit to exploring similar ideas and other options.

Grocery store school supplies are your friends. Get some 50 cent notebooks and pencils, get into it when you have a few hours free. It’s interesting if you can connect to it, and you can. Take notes on anything even vaguely relevant.

I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s hard. Sometimes you might end up learning a language to read old poems or counting in base 60 to understand numerology. It’s up to you whether it’s worthwhile for your system.

I do recommend it, though. With breaks and vacations where you hide the notebooks and do leisure activities only for a week. You get a lot of new information, even if it doesn’t relate back how you hoped. I cannot overemphasize the breaks, though.

Treat yourself and your system members well. Maybe pretend you’re an anthropologist. I believe you can do it, or I believe you can make the informed decision not to. Good luck.

#did osdd #osddid #ramcoa #tw ramcoa #cult abuse #cdd system

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somethings-monstrous · 7 months

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If you can't handle topics revolving around menstruation, block me, then grow the fuck up, please and thank you! 🤗

Trigger Warning: Bible, Bible verse, blood mention, trans exclusive language use mention.

So, I bought a new menstrual cup. Mine vanished during a move. Got the new cup in today and was inspecting it while waiting for the water to boil to sterilize it and...

Is that a fucking Bible verse?!

[35] I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Yup.

So, the company, Pixie Cup, does a 1 to 1 system, donating one menstrual cup to a person in need for every cup purchased (love that so much! These things are so cheap to make it's offensive). So, the Bible verse is about them donating menstrual products to those in need. The paperwork with the cup specifically says "a woman in need" and "for women," which honestly wasn't suss until I noticed the Christian bent and then it kinda stood out more as exclusionary. It may not be, but I feel it is good to mention that they use very gendered language in the leaflets and such. But, still, I appreciate the donation they make.

My first instinct was to be pissed. Like, that's some sneaky dogma shit. Trying to convert me, p*ssy first I guess. But, after a second we realized..that's going inside our vagina to be filled with blood.

And just...yeah I can't honestly be pissed about that. Like, that's fucking hilarious. You snuck a Bible verse into my menstrual cup, and my sacrilegious ass is about to literally put it in my vagina and bleed doom upon it. Makes me wish we still practiced witchery.

If there are any Abrahamic witches with a menstrual cycle reading this: Blood sacrifice and witchery cup right here.

Anyway, this amused us and seemed like the kinda shit one is required to post to Tumblr.

Also, figured some out there might appreciate the notice that this is a thing to avoid if, like us, you have religious trauma and would prefer to keep associations far, far away.

Anyway, bullshit aside, it's a good cup with multiple sizes. We have a low cervix and standard sized cups are too big. The xsmall fits perfect, can't feel it and the vacuum seal it forms doesn't make our cramps worse, which larger cups do. The cup came with a pack of lubricant, several cup wipes, a draw string pouch, and a zip carrying case that it all fits into, as well as a section divided off with a water proof layer for reusable pads or the unsteralized cup. It was $20USD on Amazon and I'm happy with it, even with the bloody verse 🥁😃

If you menstruate, seriously look into getting a cup. It's $20 or so, and will last a minimum of five years. I've seen people who had the same one over 15 years. Especially if you have insecure finances and living situations, get a cup. Being homeless on your period sucks. Being poor on your period sucks. If you can, get a cup. It's insanely cheap compared to disposable products, better for your body, better for the environment, and not as scary or gross as it seems.

Ransom aside, our housemate's dad is staying with us and he is very Christian (but not a dick about it, which I respect), and it's so weird having someone say "and I thank the lord for xyz." Like, my brain has a "the fuck is he on about? Oh right." I legitimately forget Christians exist 😅 Though, now my menstrual cup will remind me so...hurray -_-

#tw bible #tw christianity #tw trans exclusion #tw blood mention #menstrual cup

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mwolf0epsilon · 1 year

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I saw your original clones post and I was curious to know more about each of them if that's ok? I really like the one with purple hair

You're the first Anon of 2023. You're also lovely for asking me about my blorbos, thank you :')

This is gonna be a little long so I'll keep it under a readmore, but like, I'm keeping batchmates together because it's easier to explain who's who if I do it like that. I'll also be addressing them each through order of appearance so it's less confusing.

Anyway, lets do some clone talk!

---

First lets start with my 104th ARCs, Bully and Jawbreaker. They were former members of Krell's Battalion and two of his favourite punching bags, which is where they got their scarring from.

They were pulled into the 104th by Maeleen Eppa, a natborn engineer that noticed their fearful and distrustful nature when Plo Koon's battalion ended up working with Krell's on the same mission.

They're the hard-ass older brothers because, back on Kamino, they lost two batchmates during training exercises, and then had two much younger cadets (Tup and Dogma) introduced into their squad to even out the numbers. It's become second nature to be protective of Shinies, and even if they don't trust very easily they are loyal to a fault (unless they feel like they've been personally betrayed).

They sadly don't make it post Order 66.

Next up we have the tragedy that are Pox and Syrup.

Pox was a clone medic trainee on Kamino that got along brilliantly with his batchmates. Despite the hardships of training, he was always kind, reliable and willing to drop everything to help someone else along the way. Syrup was no different from his batchmate, and while he was training to be a simple foot-soldier, he was going to be acting as a reserve medic as well for whatever battalion he ended up in.

They were finishing training during the last leg of the Clone Wars, when suddenly Sulu Ra called for Pox's squad to partake in some kind of a training exercise. Syrup was, at the time, in medbay for an injury he'd sustained during training, so he wasn't brought along for whatever mystery exercise they were being tasked with.

Long story short... It was a bioweapon test... One that killed several clone troopers that hadn't even graduated yet; left Pox as a carrier of a highly infectious disease that continuously mutated within him, while he went on the run; and which left Syrup essentially without his closest brothers to rely on...

While Pox eventually finds a group of vode to connect with post Order 66, Syrup isn't as lucky. His inhibitor chip was faulty and began to rot inside of him, much like Tup's had, and it obliterates his sense of self to the point where he doesn't consider himself a person. Just a tool to be used by the Empire.

Next up Hyena, a medic of the 104th.

Like with Bully and Jawbreaker, he wasn't originally with the 104th. He was assigned to the 501st with his squad from Kamino, which he never got along with because they were a bunch of unrelenting bullies that thought they were better than everyone else. The disagreements got so bad that eventually he grew fed up enough to request a transfer, and managed to get into the 104th where he felt much more at home.

There's not much to say about Hyena other than, he has quite the sense of humor and love for terrible jokes/puns.

Still unsure what happens to him post Order 66.

We're missing one of them (Goch) due to his face being a little harder to draw than your average clone due to several facial deformities, but next up comes the Long Name Squad.

Lichtenberg, Pretty Boy and Olly are in the 501st, 212th and Coruscant Guard respectively, while Hippo and Cala were never in battalions due to the two of them (and Goch) being confined in Sulu Ra's private lab.

Lich is the accident prone but often optimistic and carefree older brother of the batch, PB is the token pretty boy with a bit of a sassy mean streak, Olly is the responsible but heavily traumatized one, and Hippo and Cala are still getting used to being free at all.

Side-notes: Hippo's goggles are technically a visual aid because her cyclopsia has left her vision severely impaired. Cala needs a cane to walk due to her polymelia making her a little top heavy (she has four arms). Both used to be conjoined twins before being surgically separated.

They have a relatively happy ending post Order 66, even if getting to it is an absolute hardship that tests their bonds repeatedly.

Next up, Seafood Squad! And boy howdy these ones are such a burning trash-fire of a mess...

In order we have Geoduck, Conch, Crayfish, Jelly and Sponge. All of them were in the scuba trooper program before Sponge (who had always been a target of Kaminoan scrutiny, due to a set of circumstances that still make them very uncomfortable) was ultimately pulled from it and forced into the medical training program.

This seemed to cause a sizeable rift between Sponge and the three eldest members of their batch (one that grew overtime due to Conch's pettiness and Crayfish's indifference). Jelly, the most amicable and compassionate of the batch, stuck with them for the long run and refused to grow distant. The two of them were so inseparable to the point where Sponge begged Jelly to come with them into whatever battalion they got assigned, rather than go with the others. Jelly accepted, pulling out of the scuba trooper program and worsening the growing contempt a certain member of the batch felt towards Sponge.

Ultimately, Geoduck, Conch and Crayfish were assigned to Kit Fisto's battalion, while Jelly and Sponge were assigned to the 501st. Jelly then died in an incident that heavily traumatized Sponge, and from there on out the rest of the batch (mostly Conch) blamed them for the death of their favourite vod'ika, and stopped contacting them at all. This left Sponge alone to deal with their trauma, which they didn't do very well...

A lot happens to them throughout the war itself and, at some point (likely driven by guilt and shame of being such a poor excuse for an older brother), Geoduck decides to try to mend the relationship between the batch and Sponge. But, due to his rather unique issue (face blindness so severe that he honestly has trouble recognizing anyone), he never managed to do so during the war itself. Mostly due to Conch actively sabotaging his attempts, and Crayfish simply not caring enough to help because he'd rather not stick his nose into any drama.

Side-Notes: Geoduck, Conch and Jelly have sea creature themed names which they decided on when they first began their scuba training. Crayfish has a freshwater creature themed name instead, because he may or may have not eaten a live crayfish that he pilfered from the Kamino Kitchens during the night.

Meanwhile, Sponge is not named after sea sponges at all. They are instead named after surgical sponges due to a... Rather unfortunate incident during their training... In an ironic twist it just fits their batch's theme in a way.

What happens to the great majority of them post Order 66 is still a WIP, but I know how Sponge's story ends and I'm very pleased with it.

These three next ones are fun... Introducing Medic Canivete of the 212th, Officer Incognito of Krell's Battalion, and Ordnance Specialist 8-Ball. The one batch who can't decide which is the sane one of the group (none of them are).

Cani is essentially a Swiss army knife in terms of skills. She's officially a medic on record, but she also does a lot of flight crew tasks and a spot of engineering here and there. A girl has to keep herself busy after all! And she just likes to learn new things.

Incognito is an anxiety-riddled mess that wishes he wasn't often so unlucky with what life throws his way (he cannot get a break the poor sod), and has a lot of self-doubt that plagues him during his introspection sessions. He's living with a lot of survivor's guilt due to the situation he's stuck in (pretending to be a droid while trapped in a Venator he's trying to stir away from Republic space so the seppie droids that took over don't slaughter any more of his brothers), but overall seems to be in relatively safer hands with the droids than when he was under Krell's command.

8-Ball is a bit of an enigma to most. He's a happy go lucky sort, lover of anoobas of all shapes and sizes, and also a force sensitive clone with a predisposition for precognition that he doesn't recognize as anything else other than "gut feelings". He's a fun guy who doesn't have one mean bone in his body, and who's predictions have earned him both his name and a bit of infamy among other clones, since he mostly seems more attuned to "guessing" less than positive events to come...

I'm not entirely sure what happens to them post Order 66...

[REDACTED]

Before Fox became the Marshal Commander of the Coruscant Guard, the title belonged to Sturm... His predecessor who was met with a terrible fate for caring too much and trying to investigate things he should have averted his gaze away from...

Lets just say there's more than one reason why Fox keeps his mouth shut about what goes on on Coruscant, and Sturm's unfortunate fate is one of those reasons.

Order 66 doesn't much matter in this case. Sturm was already doomed from the start.

Finally we have Mythos Squad, a squad of clone commandos who deserted the GAR after their Jedi General (Vikerius Kwinde) was killed by Grievous.

In order we have Dragon (the defacto leader), Komainu (the designated medic), Basilisk (the sniper), Gremlin (the designated technician) and Kerberus (the demolitions expert).

There's not much to say about them because unfortunately Kerberus is the last one standing post Order 66. He was deafened during torture, so while listening to the GAR radio chatter the others heard the order being called out while he could not (thus they attempted to terminate him for disobeying the order, and he had to kill them in self-defense, something that will never stop haunting them).

#star wars #the clone wars #clone ocs #infodumping about the blorbos

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blackkatmagic · 1 year

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I want you to know that it is currently 7.40am and I happily gave up any remaining hope of sleep for the day when I got the notification for Dogma/Agen. Having read it, my eyes burn, my body feels like it might keel over any minute and I have to go to work in an hour. Zero regrets.

The fic is AMAZING. Like, I feel that way about all the stories I read from you, but this one. This one hit so many points. The pairing. They are so good, so perfect for each other. The parallels between how they see the world and how others see them make me want to cry.

Dogma deserves all the hugs, warm blankets, sunrises and Sex. Also: all the warm gazes go to him please. Him being so raw from being seen as a person - as somone worth saving, ad not just a clone, but as him, Dogma, with all the things people dont like about him being seen but not being condemned for it, but rather accepted, treasured even! Just. There are no words.

The smut was beautiful, it was all so raw, so desperate. Them being on the run but taking the time for it, because that intimacy is what is needed, so it is what they do.... perfect.

Dogma hating and blaming the jedi hurts, because it is so understandable. The jedi didn't save them, even though they were supposed to and so they are traitors. And Agen drawing back, once he realizes that... not knowing how to breach the subject that he himself is a jedi, but accepting the blame... my heart.

Every single clone hurts to read or think about. They dont have a choice, the only thing they can do is follow orders and hope that they wont have to suffer for it. But they are still trying to save their humanity, trying to make it as painless as possible for them to do their work and keep as many parts of themselves as they can save.

I love that it is Savage that sympathized with the jedi. And how, after not obviously caring for him, Maul obviously cares and goes after the one who by all appearances killed him, but let's up from it because there is a chance that Savage is still alive. Also, because Agen is the one of the most skilled sword fighters in the Jedis history and it is not an empty title.

Also. Just gotta say. I need that fix it for Kit. For Tan too, but Kit!!! If it were possible, I would wish for him to please be un-tortured and happy. Since that's not possible... blankets. Lots of them. All of them.

I am so utterly delighted you enjoyed it!! Agen/Dogma is on of those ships where their sharp edges all fit together in a way that's just - good, and I'm so happy to finally write them. Especially like this, in this sort of AU, where everything is hard and bad but they're both doing what they can to make the right choices.

Kit definitely will get a fix-it! And Tan will feature into it as well, and Rex too. I'm considering doing one for Savage as well, since he definitely deserved better.

#kat answers

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hellhound5925 · 11 months

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Cyare Verd *Beloved Warrior*

Chapter Thirteen

I lean against the bar and put our order in for 14 shots plus a mixed drink for myself. It takes the bar tender a few minutes - which I figured. I hum to myself while I wait when I feel someone come up behind me. Whoever they are then preceded to grab my sheb (ass). I glance over my shoulder noting they are not a clone nor someone I know "Move along before you do something you regret" I spit. "Now that's not very nice" a deep male voice says from behind me. I try to move out of the way but he get closer pressing me to the bar top. I reach with my right hand into my jacket and grip the handle of my knife "You've got one more chance to move long, chakaar (Mandalorian insult, literally petty criminal)". Out of the corner of my eye I see Jesse elbow Rex whose eyes are on me and I shake my head 'no' but he's already getting up. I elbow the man in the stomach while swapping hands with my knife, causing him to back off me long enough to slam his face into the bar top. I slam the tip of my knife a fraction of an inch from his eye. "That's how how we speak to women now is it?" I say in his ear. He stares a my knife sticking out of the bar. The area around us goes silent and I hear a familiar voice over my left shoulder "get lost". The man does as he is told and slinks away from us, out the door. I grab my knife out of the bar top and apologize to the bar tender. I feel a hand on my shoulder causing me to look over, "I'd ask if you're alright but..." it's Rex...should've known. I place the knife back in it's sheath and smile up at him "I'm fine". The bar tender hands me my drink and all the shots. I pull more credits out of my pocket "Here, sorry again about the bar" I say over paying. "Please Honey, it's one me. You did us a favor, that guys was a creep" she smiles at me. I nod and we head back to the table.

The whole table is silent glancing back and forth between me and Rex. Hardcase breaks the silence “That was wizard!”. “Which part? The part where she slammed the dudes head into the bar top? Or the knife?” Laughed Jesse. I put the shots on the table, take a gulp of my drink before sliding in next to Jesse. Rex sits down next to me. “Sorry my vode (brothers) are being insensitive… are you alright?” Echo asks. Sweet, sweet, Echo. “I’m fine really, that guy? His pride probably hurts” I chuckle causing the table to bust out in laugher. “I’m sure more than his pride hurts….” Laughs Kix. “You should have seen his face!” Says Tup. “You should have seen it up close” I say taking another sip of my drink.

“Udesii, udesii! (Calm down) We’ve got to do our shots for Fives” Dogma laughs. I pass the shots out, ending with Rex. I push two in front of him. He quirks an eye brow at me, “We made Fives a deal if he got a girl we’d each have to take two shots” I smirk up at him. He sighs and reluctantly takes one in his hand. “To Fives virginity, may it rest in peace and may he be reborn a new man” Jesse says holding up his shot, everyone follows suit trying to hold back the laughter. I glance at Rex whose already looking at me, before we both down the first shot. Tup is the next one to make a toast “may the boys of the 501st learn how to make better toast speeches”, Second shot done. For a while the group chats and some of them play drinking games. Echo looks like he’s about to fall asleep, Kix left already because I guess he’s got an early shift in the med bay. We are all buzzed and some of us are leaning more on the drunk side.

I laugh at Jesse, Hardcase, Tup, and Dogma who are trying to do what they are calling ‘trickshots’, and it suddenly hits me I’ve been leaning into Rex slightly. I don’t move or draw attention to it but that’s when I notice he is leading into me some as well. I look over and notice him quietly nursing his ale with a look on his face that says he’s deep in thought. “Hey, what’s going on in there?” I ask catching him by surprise. “What? Oh…nothing” he says quickly. I place my hand over his arm resting on the table - maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s some else - “You can talk to me if something is bothering you”, “I’m fine, really, I was just deep in thought” he replies. I let go of his arm. “I forgot to tell you, I really enjoyed chatting with your vode (brothers) earlier. Fox introduced me… they seem great. Wolffe is a quiet one” I smile up at him. “Oh yeah, yeah, they are. Wolffe is a little rough around the edges but he’s been through a lot” Rex says playing with his cup. “With a scar like he’s got I’m sure it was tough” I say remembering his eye being the first thing I noticed about him. “They look up to you” He looks over at me and we lock eyes. “I can tell by the way they talked about you. Even though you are their vod’ika (little brother), they look up to you)”, he rubs the back of his neck. “Just take the compliment” I say playfully giving him a gentle shove. He just looks at me with those honey brown eyes, likes he’s looking into my core at my soul and half smiles “Vor entye (thank you)” he says. “Ba’gedet’ye (you’re welcome)” I reply.

Echo snoring catches both of our attention. “Maybe we should get him to his quarters” I say hoping Rex will take the invite. “Good idea” he says before getting up and I slide out behind him. “Going so soon?” Jesse asks. “Jesse it’s like 2a, we are going to get Echo back. You guys can stay” I laugh. The four look at Echo - they really didn’t realize he was snoring - with confused expressions. Rex gently nudges Echo who stirs “yeah I’m up” “lets get you to bed vod (brother)” I say offering a hand. He takes it and stands, unsteady on is feet. I throw his arm over my shoulder to help him walk “Y-you-you’re a really great f-friend you know that?” He asks slurring. Rex and I both laugh “You’re drunk Echo” I say. “You know what they say…drunk thoughts are sober words”, “Drunk words are sober thoughts?” Rex sakes his head, “yeah…..that”.

Rex and I get Echo back to the barracks and literally pour him into bed. “I think I’m going to throw up…” he trails off. I race to the fresher he shares with Fives in search of anything to help. I grab the waste basket and shove it under his head that’s hanging off the bed. “Try to get some sleep vod (brother)”, “Ba’ged—“ he’s cut off when he stars dry heaving. I slowly head toward the door where Rex is waiting. I make sure the door closed behind me. Rex and I make our way to the wing where our rooms are. Rex suddenly stops, I turn back to face him, “thank you…..for caring about my men….not many people-“ he starts. “Rex you are all worth caring about, don’t let anyone, not even the GAR tell you otherwise” I reply. He rubs the back of his neck “Goodnight Rex” I say before opening my door, “Goodnight Raven” nods Rex. I head into my room and look back, noticing he was still standing there and the door closes.

Masterlist

#clone captain rex #star wars clone wars #star wars the clone wars #the clones #may the 4th be with you #may the force be with you #rex star wars #rex x reader #captain rex x you #rex x you

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