#i wont die yet. and if me not being happy is that upsetting then ignore me

[prettynalilmagic]

ℙ𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕒 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕕: 𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕕𝕠𝕨 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕜

I believe me and everyone else should be focused on shadow work, because it's a new year and I know shadow work doesn't sound fun but in my opinion its more fulfilling than love readings because there's already so much of those on any tarot platform/community.

Pick a Pile from 1-2-3-4

Pile one

Bride in a Cage

With the deck I use for the overall tone of the reading an oracle deck by Laura Sava and its overall meant is to be used for shadow work. And each card has a moon phase attached to each card, the phase attached to your card is Denial. So that's the first thing I noted and the card itself is based on how situation and environment being fulfilled by materials that wont in the long run fix or solve any issues. You can buy certain items that will fill something that is unpleasant till you die and still be unsatisfied with where you are in life. It's a cycle, there's something deep down you don't want to accept weather you know it or not, sometimes we have issues that we cannot see, and that's the sole purpose of therapy and shadow work. There's no shame here, everyone at some point uses something to avoid reality that we find unsatisfying. Now I pulled some more cards from a different deck to support and get more information on what spirt really wants to call out. And overall, I see a lot of personal belief that sometimes it better to see the positive or more so focus on what you can do to walk away from the bad things you are faced with. I think this is something that you learned from a young age where you were shamed by reacting to the negativity that happened. That being any sort of sadness or anger. Yes, being happy and not sad or mad, sounds good at first but that completely neglects the reality of hardships. Your smart about how you react to life, and you understand where when something bad happens, you can avoid being in that victim mode by ignoring whatever that is upsetting. The great thing about life is that life is not black and white. There's a lot of good things that will come your way but in order for you feel fulfilled and appreciative of those things, you have to accept all the bad stuff as well. It's not something that something to avoid. I am getting strongly that pile one is afraid of being pessimistic and that they will do anything to show themselves or others that they are filled with love and good and nothing else, but your human. To be human means to be unperfect. You think strongly that the way you think shapes your reality and yes that is true but there's only so much that can achieve until you have to face truth. Some things can't be fixed with positive thinking and manifestation. Unfortunately, life isn't some LaLa world like that, don't get me wrong, I'm not shitting on positive people, but there is a such thing as toxic positivity. You're stopping your own growth by looking at life through rose-colored glasses. Your shadow wants you to accept being a victim at times and being someone who can be pushed down by something. Understanding where you got hurt is how a real breakthrough can happen, you're not allowing the cycle of acceptance to come through as beautiful as it can.

Pile 2

Sacrifice

Pile two, your shadow wants you to acknowledge that you are suffering for the well-being of something else. And your moon phase is associated with anger, which tells me that while you are acknowledging the suffering you are being subjected to tells me you aren't happy or pleased with it. Kinda like it's an "Oh well what can I do about it, it fucking sucks but it is what it is." That type of vibe. I'm not just pulling an oracle card I am pulling from a separate deck and what I can see that you have basically given up yet there's still this sense of hope that things will change and that whatever situation happened or is happening is making you feel like you have to wait and just continue to be sacrificed till you can leave and move onto better circumstances. But there's also a sense of given up hope it's kind of up and down energy. I had to pull a second shadow card because the energy was little too confusing and I needed more to back up to why the cards were popping up with somewhat different messages, and I got Temple of my body and its essentially telling me that people/situations have/are doing stuff to your body. Something has been making you feel like you cannot win, there's always going to be something that is disrespectful to your own wants and needs in order for them to obtain the power and wants that they desire. This can be anything from school, money, family, love or work. It can be one or multiple things at once or at different points in your life. And it's very overbearing for yourself. It's too many hardships, feeling like you're never going to be able to fulfill something else outside of yourself. That must be so challenging, and you must feel like you have to be as strong as you can be and that you might not be able to. I'm getting maybe you think you're forced to suffer until your old enough to run away from whatever it is that you're sacrificing yourself to. Your shadow wants to advise you that in order to overcome the sacrifices, you need be able to see you don't have to be a worm left out for the birds. You're not a sacrifice, yes it feels like you have to keep doing stuff to just exist whilst still feeling like whatever you do is never enough but learn to structure yourself. How can you slowly overcome this feeling? What I need to do to overcome this feeling? Why am I so depressed and angry about it? Truly dive deep into yourself, because wither or not you are truly stuck, which you most likely are, it won't always be that way. Acknowledge your pain, struggles and see what you can do to overcome it, not avoid it. Or dwell in it. Just understanding what you are able to do silently will give you at least some form of control and I can see that there's clearly very little control you have with where you are in life. What are things that make you feel in control? What makes you feel not in control? Can you overcome it? If not, what can you do besides just see that? You can find little ways to feel a sense of control and relief from just reflecting and doing small things to fulfill your needs in tiny ways. If you need to escape or walk away from something in the future, plan and make goals on what needs to be done in order to be prepared for when that can become your new beginning.

Pile 3

Alone In the world

The phase attached to your card is Acceptance. There's been months, weeks, days, hours, and seconds that you have waited for something. Weather its love from friends, family or a significant other, you have been on edge waiting for some reassurance and presence of hope for love. And nothing really has fulfilled you. Maybe someone did come by, but it wasn't what you thought it would be or maybe no one ever will be able to fulfill you to the extent you have believed you needed. Now your shadow self is saying it hasn't happened, will it happen for you ever? If it does will it be the same as what you have longed for? There's a concerning lack of separation of satisfaction and love, those are two separate things that should not be used to mean the same thing. With love does not fulfill satisfaction. You do not need to be in love or loved to be satisfied, why have you allowed yourself to feel controlled by the presence of love. You should not allow yourself to be bitter, spiteful of life or yourself, you have to learn to see yourself as the one thing that is enough. A person will never be something to fulfill you unless its yourself. You're turning yourself into a victim of loneliness because you're attaching too much value onto someone who isn't you. Do you know yourself enough? Do you think you aren't enough to feel fulfilled on just yourself? If so, why? Why do you not see how easy it is for you to love yourself. You already have the desires and wants you could get from someone else? If you don't have those desires and needs that you seek from others, how come it's not possible for you? Do you only seek that in others because you are uncomfortable with you lacking something? You shouldn't be afraid to know yourself or be afraid that you think you're not enough. Being in a relationship before fulfilling your own self-worth is not as great as it sounds, personally I'm in a relationship but I will accidentally ruin moments that can be good because of my own fear of myself and how unfulfilled I feel with how much I love myself and I'm not even the type of person who struggles with always feeling to need to be loved to be happy. If the situation arises that you stumble into a relationship or situationship that's fine but understand that you should love yourself before allowing someone else to fill in that worth. Prince charming may never come and if that is something that is too upsetting, there's some work that needs to be done to begin understanding why that's so upsetting.

Desiring someone else is okay but in a healthy doses, your partner should be an added plus, not your entire happiness. Stop romanticizing unhealthy attachments to others.

Pile 4

The child I was Meant to be.

Your shadow wants you to accept that you are capable of growing. I'm getting that there's a lot that needs to be done, in order to become replanted. Some change has to be made, and that's okay. Life is full of growth and decay. Don't villainize yourself, the worst you can do is avoid the bad things in life because then that stops your own growth. There's a repeating issue that is very uncomfortable for you pile four. There's this greed to fulfill with your own needs. It's always about your issues and not others' problems. Your shadow wants you to learn how to manage that greed and "evil" (nobody is truly evil if you can prevent yourself from repeating negative cycles. What is it that makes you think that your too broken or off-putting to be fixed or reborn?

You might need to tie up some loose ends and heal others that you knowingly did wrong. Make sure you give the justice the people you have hurt. You have to let go of an unhealthy attachment to your own self and that desire you feel that is stopping you from being "a good person." You might have to leave something behind that you think is so good or desirable. It's difficult but you're not a hopeless cause, nobody is unable to never work on themselves, if that means walking away from what you have projected yourself do that. It's seems scary to work on becoming a better you for yourself because then you have to accept the aspects you repress but once you accept you can learn to work through it. You can mourn over who you were and accept the new you when you're healing and yourself work is fulfilled. You are capable of it but are struggling to see that it can happen. In order to plant that seed to grow the new you, you have to cut off the old ways that poison your growth. It's going to be hard but it's doable. Forgive yourself and learn why you say or do things. don't justify them, learn from who you are in order to learn about who you can be.

#tarot reading #oracle #pac reading #free tarot #shadow work

[semercury]

I am functional, isn't that enough? What more do they want from me? I go to work. I pay my bills. I even shower most days. Why isn't that enough? Why add the impossible task of being happy on top of it?

#stuff sarah says #i didnt ask to exist #i dont want to exist #but i will #i will remain functional #why do i have to be happy on top of it all? #that doesnt exist for me #we can try more pills. we can try more talk therapy i guess? but its hopeless for me #im worthless and my life will amount to nothing #so forgive me for wanting to ease that by sleeping more #and please no one feel obligated to say anything in response to this #my shitty mental health is being called out and im reacting defensively #i feel like a cornered animal. hostile. but out of fear #what am i hurting by being miserable? im here #i wont die yet. and if me not being happy is that upsetting then ignore me #people want me around or they dont. why do i have to be happy? #ill stay awake and stare at walls if that makes her feel bettter i guess??

[attllhak]

Adoption AU - Wild and Warriors: The Epic Quest For Taco Bell at 3 am

@tortilla-of-courage so you mentioned you’d be interested in my Adoption AU one-shots, and now that things have calmed down in my house a bit I figured I’d post the first one-shot I wrote; the one about Wild and Warriors going for a Taco Bell run. Theoretically, I was going to do a one-shot for each grouping of boys, as an introduction, but I don’t think that’s happening anymore. Either way, here’s the first thing I wrote!

(And, anyone else who would like to be tagged if/when I post more for this AU, let me know here and I’ll make a list or something)

---------------

“anyone know any good substitutes for love and personal fulfilment?”

Warriors sent the tweet without much thought. He didn’t actually care about an answer, he just felt like venting about his most recent break up in a vague way, and thought he was being funny. He could already see Legend rolling his eyes.

His phone dinged a few times, one reply from Twilight, asking why he was up so late (which he’d responded to with the same inquiry, which had Twilight going silent), one from Legend mocking him, one from Hyrule trying to actually help. He was surprised how many of his brothers were up at this hour.

He dropped the phone on his bed, rubbing his eyes. He wasn’t actually all that tired, probably a consequence of having all afternoon classes and a habit of leaving his work to the last minute. Eh, the first year was supposed to be mostly parties anyways. (Not that Time would ever find out he said that.)

His phone dinged again and he groaned, eying the clock and the small bottle of melatonin next to it. 2:43 am. He should sleep. He didn’t have anything tomorrow, he finished his last final earlier that afternoon, though, so a few more minutes couldn’t hurt.

He picked up the phone and woke it up again. He blinked a few times at the new reply.

“crunchwrap supreme from taco bell”

He ignored Twilight yelling at Wild for being up, as apparently Wild did have a final tomorrow still. Not that Wild was paying any more attention.

He snorted, hitting the like button on Wild’s tweet and clicking off his phone. He reached up to stretch, yawning as he did. He eyed the melatonin bottle again. Technically, he didn’t need the supplements to sleep, but with how messed up his sleep schedule was, they did help him knock out when he planned on sleeping at a reasonable hour. This wasn’t a reasonable hour, but sleepiness hadn’t set in yet either.

Before he could decide, his phone lit up with a text notification. He tilted his head back and pointed his phone down to look at instead of dropping his arms.

Gordon Ramsey 2:44 am

lets go

Warriors blinked once. Then again. He unlocked his phone to type back.

what?????? go where?????

A second passed when he got a reply.

taco bell

for your substitute for love

since you got dumped and need something

oops was that too soon

sorry 

Warriors blinked at the screen again. Wild lived twenty minutes away from the university Warriors was attending, and the nearest Taco Bell was no closer. Plus, Time had revoked Wild’s driving privileges after he crashed his bike into the barn and broke both and his arm. There was no way Wild was getting to the university, much less a fast food joint. Especially at this hour.

and how do you plan to do that? You aren’t allowed to drive yet Mr. Broken Arm

you have a care

*car

That was a very good point.

you are suggesting that I drive 20mins outside of town to pick you up, drive another 20mins back into town, then drive around downtown until we find an open taco bell, at 3am on a school night before you have a final?

There was a few seconds pause, just long enough for Warriors to consider that he’d given up on it.

no

we wont be driving all over town

i googled it and found one

its like 10mins form your collage

*from

*college

Warriors considered that.

twilight won’t be happy

only if he finds out

Wild made a very good point.

how do you plan to get out of the house without him noticing?

i have a window war

The response was so immediate, and he was probably sleep deprived enough, that he burst out laughing when it sent.

20mins

He clicked his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket, grabbing a jacket and his scarf on the way out of his room. He was struggling to shrug them both on at once when he realized his roommate was still up too. There was a tense staredown as their eyes met and they both froze.

Volga broke the standoff by closing his book. “And where are you going at this hour?”

Warriors considered that. “My brother bribed me with food to break him out of the house,”

“At,” he glanced at his watch, “two forty-nine am?”

“Yes,”

The silence was tense.

Volga sighed and opened his book again. “Don’t crash and die, I’d hate to have to get a new roommate when I’ve finally gotten used to you,”

“Don’t burn the dorm down while I’m gone,” Warriors joked back, finally getting the fabric to work with him.

“It happened once, and it’s not like you’re any better at cooking!”

“I don’t set what I make on fire, and then freak out and throw it when blowing out that fire doesn’t work,” he grabbed his keys from the dish by the door and waved behind him.

“It happened once, Link!”

“And it’s why we order out now,” he grinned, ducking out the door. “See you later, Volg, be back in an hour or so,”

He could hear Volga’s angry shout through the door, so hurried down the stairs to the ground level as quickly as he could, before Volga woke their neighbor again.

He was still giggling when he got to the parking lot. Volga was just too easy to rile up.

The cool night air woke him up a little more so, and he took a deep breath as he located his car. A hand-me-down vehicle, he inherited it from Time when he was old enough to drive. Mostly this was so he could stop asking everyone else for their cars when he wanted to go somewhere. A little elbow grease however, and no one could tell it was at least 20 years old and not fresh off the lot. He made sure none of his brothers were allowed to drive it, especially after Wild got his bike stuck in a tree, or Legend crashed into a lake, or Twilight picked up drag racing, or Wild got his bike stuck on the roof, or Hyrule lost his car, or Four rolled his truck, or Wild and the barn literally last week. A lot of the crashes in the family came from Wild going ‘oh yeah? Watch this!’ now that he thought about it. It was a miracle he still had the same bike.

The twenty minute drive to the farm was pretty boring, nothing of note really happening.

He turned off his headlights as he pulled into the drive, not wanting to wake anyone, especially Time, up. He shot off a quick text to Wild when he parked.

A window opened and Legend’s head poked out to glare at him. His phone dinged.

Royal Pain 3:12 am

what are you doing here?

He glared back at Legend and typed out a response.

taco bell run

Legend glanced down, presumably at his phone, then back up a Warriors with an incredulous expression.

at 3am????

and if so why are you /here/????

Warriors pointedly looked around the house where Wild emerged from the bushes. Said brother grinned and popped open the passenger door to climb in.

“Hey,” he grinned. His hair was a mess, with at least two visible sticks stuck in it, and he was still in his sleep clothes. Despite this, he seemed fine.

“Legend has us made,” Warriors nodded to their brother, who was still glaring with his head out the window.

Royal Pain 3:15 am

twilight won’t be happy about this

Warriors frowned, trying to shield his phone from Wild as he typed back.

twilight won’t know

Warriors did not like the look in Legend’s eyes as he got the next text.

unless i tell him

Warriors glared up at his brother, working his jaw.

what do you want?

He hated the pleased grin Legend shot him.

the most expensive thing on the menu on your dime

fine

Warriors shoved his phone away with a growl, flipping off the overly smug Legend as he put the car in gear. “Asshole,” he muttered.

“What was that about?” Wild asked.

“We’re buying him food too now,” Warriors growled, flicking back on his headlights.

“Oh, cool,” Wild leaned back into the seat and pulled out his phone. “So the Taco Bell we’re going to only has the drive thru open, and it’s just off main street,”

Warriors nodded, focussing on the road and not that Wild had found the aux cord.

About thirty minutes later, as Wild finally turned down the music to provide directions, he snapped and turned to Warriors mid direction. “Do you want to sign my cast?”

Warriors blinked. “Maybe when we stop, I’m not crashing to sign your cast right now.”

Wild nodded, and pointed across Warriors at the street they had to go down.

They pulled into the drive thru and ordered, then had to wait for the very expensive thing Legend wanted. Warriors turned to Wild as the car idled.

“Do you have a marker?”

Wild blinked at him, then brightened up and offered out a sharpie and his right arm. The cast, under the signatures and well wishes of their family and all of Wild’s friends, was painted in very poorly drawn flames. Warriors raised an eyebrow as he searched for a clear spot to sign.

“Hyrule painted it for me,” Wild explained with a grin.

“Ah,” Warriors hummed as he finally tracked down an empty space by Wild’s elbow.

He scrawled out his name, not much room for anything else, and then handed the capped sharpie back to Wild while he twisted around to accept the food from the drive thru worker.

He shot off a text to Legend to let him know they had his food, alongside an upset emoji. Legend sent him a devil face emoji back. Wild dug through the bag for his food, sharpie stuck in his hair alongside the twigs, which seemed to be multiplying.

Warriors rolled his eyes and pulled back onto the road.

At some point, Wild pulled the wrap out and handed it to Warriors, who ate one handed as he drove. Wild was right about one thing, the wrap did taste very good.

He pulled into the drive of the farmhouse, headlights off, just as he finished off the wrap. He phone dinged the second he put the car in park.

Royal Pain 3:58 am

where’s my food bitch

Warriors looked up to the window where Legend was leaning out and glaring at him.

Wild laughed at the surly look on Legend’s face, climbing out and taking the bag with him. “I’ll feed him,” he promised, grinning. “Thanks for the trip, War!”

“No problem,” Warriors grinned back. “Just make sure you get to bed once you’re inside, so Twi doesn’t suspect in the morning,”

Wild gave him a thumbs up. He shut the door a little too hard, making Warriors wince, and bounced up to throw the bag up to Legend. Legend caught it the second time, when Wild opted to use his not broken arm to toss it, and disappeared inside again. Warriors’ phone dinged again a few seconds later.

Royal Pain 4:00 am

thanks pretty boy

your secret is safe with me

for now

Warriors rolled his eyes and sent him a thumbs up back, then pulled out of the drive again to head back to campus. He was actually starting to feel tired now, so he figured he’d get home and just crash. It’d be like, 4:30 in the morning by then, and he was pretty sure Volga would be asleep. And if he wasn’t, they had a rule that after 4 am until 7 they were allowed to ignore each other, so it’d be fine.

Volga was asleep when Warriors snuck in, passed out in a chair with the book on his chest. Warriors took the sight in, then sighed.

He dropped his keys in the dish, then pulled off his jacket and scarf to hang in his room. He grabbed a bookmark off his shelf and wandered back out to pull the book off of Volga’s chest and set it down so the spine wouldn’t crease. He left Volga like that, however. He didn’t want the books to get damaged, but if Volga was dumb enough to fall asleep in the common room without a blanket, then he deserved what he woke up with.

He was very lucky that Warriors was too tired to find a sharpie.

He fell asleep before remembering to take off his shoes.

(---)

The next morning, so about noon, he was woken by Volga pounding on the door to put his phone on silent.

His phone buzzed on the desk next to him and he pulled it off and up to his head, hitting answer before looking at the contact.

“Hullo?” He slurred, still half asleep.

“Twilight knows,” Legend greeted him.

“What?” Warriors sat up, groaning as his back complained from sleeping on his stomach all night. It took a second for his brain to catch up.

“Twilight knows,” Legend repeated. “Hyrule sold you out, unintentionally, and I can hear him selling you both out to Time,”

Warriors blanched as the words registered. “Oh shit,” he threw himself out of bed, hissing as he realized he slept fully dressed, and scrambled for the things he’d need in order to flee. “How long?”

“Twenty minutes if you get lucky and Wind pulls through, less if not,”

Warriors cursed under his breath as he changed his shirt and tried to make it look like he hadn’t been sleeping in what he was wearing. “Thanks for the heads up, I’d say I owe you but,”

“You’d rather not owe me,”

“Yeah,”

“Look, if you get caught and cave, I go down too. This is self-preservation. Don’t cave and we’re even.”

“Got it, I won’t,”

“You better not,” Legend hissed. “Good luck,”

“Thanks,” Warriors nodded, even though Legend couldn’t see him.

He tossed the phone on his dresser as the line went dead and he went about trying to comb through his hair so he looked presentable.

A hard knock on his door came a few seconds later.

“I put my phone on vibrate, Volga!” He shouted through the door. “You can drop it now!”

“Link?”

Warriors paused, then opened the door. Lana, Impa and Artemis waited on the other side, Volga glaring at them and hovering behind them.

Warriors blinked dumbly at them. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi Link! Good morning!” Lana grinned and waved at him.

“It’s noon,” Impa reminded the group, eying Warriors up and down.

“Oh, right,” Lana nodded, then went back to grinning at him. “Good noon, Link!”

He snorted and shook his head to clear it. “Good noon to you too, Lana. Can I ask what you’re all doing here?”

“We were hoping you’d join us for something,” Artemis smiled at him, also looking him over, trying to find whatever Impa had picked up on. “We’re going on a small road trip since all our finals are over, and we were planning on hitting a few different cities over the week,”

“Mhm,” Lana nodded quickly. “We’re leaving today, and are taking no calls until we get back, and we’re camping in the car, which is why we’re using my van, and we were hoping you’d come with us,”

“I’m in,”

The three girls blinked at him. Maybe he answered too fast, but taking no calls, meaning no contact with his family, for a week gave them time to move past this, and he really didn’t want to deal with a lecture from Time. His friends just offered him asylum, whether they knew it or not.

Impa narrowed her eyes. “What happened with your family?” She asked, already onto him.

“Nothing that’s my fault,” he responded, ducking back into his room. “What should I bring with?”

Lana listed off what they figured they’d take and he pulled out a suitcase, nodding along as he started packing. He fired off a text to the group chat as he grabbed his jacket, tossed over one arm, and wrapped his scarf around his neck.

World’s Best Captain 11:39 am

Leaving on a road trip with some friends. Be back in a week, but I can’t take calls until I’m back. Don’t kill each other!

He put his phone on silent and slipped it into his pocket.

He might have a hellish text backlog when he got back, but it’d be better than the lecture from Time. And besides, he got to spend a week with the best girls he knew.

As far as he was concerned, everything worked out win-win for him.

Wild was right, the crunchwrap supreme from Taco Bell did work wonders in supplying love and personal fulfilment, even if not in the way he meant it.

He made a note to get Wild something as thanks while they were out. Maybe some crash pads. Goddesses knew that his brother needed them.

#linked universe #lu #lu wild #lu warriors #lu legend #volga #lu artemis #impa #general #lana #general is the nickname we gave hw impa #apparently i wrote this in september last year #so this has been sitting in my google docs for a while #also! #if anyone can help me find the blog and post this fake tweet came from #so i can link to it if nothing else #i would very much appreciate that #also don't use this to judge the quality of my writing #this is a year old already #adoption au

[burnedbyshoto]

m a s t e r l i s t (n - z)

updated: 9/27/2020

▹ - sfw

▸ - nsfw

notes: this list is put in alphabetical order by last name and then from oldest to most recent fic. please do not judge any of the older pieces too harshly as they were pretty bad! as of january 2020, drabbles will no longer be added to masterlist.

this is the masterlist for characters with last names n - z

masterlist for characters with last names a - m

do not repost any of my fics without permission.

sero hanta

▸ pocky challenge — kinktober day 10 (scenario)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ colors — you can see peoples colorful auras (scenario)

shigaraki tomura

▹ kitty cat — shigaraki is a cat hybrid with a rash (hc)

▸ ready player one — kinktober day 5 (scenario)

▸ ahegao face — his reaction to your ahegao face (drabble)

▸ power — you were known to bring powerful men to their knees (scenario)

shindou yo

▸ twice — kinktober day 30 (drabble)

shinsou hitoshi

▸ cat lingerie — shinsou catches you in cat shaped lingerie (hc)

▹ ignored — in which he doesn’t acknowledge you anymore (drabble)

▹ don’t do this — being a hero means making hard calls (drabble)

▹ blood — please don’t close your eyes (drabble)

▸ torture threesome — in which shinsou is your third with bakugou (drabble)

▹ soulmate shit — you two just can’t be seperated can you (drabble)

▸ fantasy — you’re hot and you flaunt it (drabble)

▹ heartbreak — shinsou’s hiding a secret from you (drabble)

▸ here, kitty, kitty — kinktober day 9 (scenario)

▸ trust — kinktober day 25 (scenario)

▸ dom!shinsou — what’s he into when he doms (hc)

▸ orgies — more todobakukiri now with shinsou action (hc)

▸ scarves — using a capturing weapon in bed is a thing (drabble)

▹ study dates — studying with shinsou is always a trip (drabble)

▹ distractions — you can never focus when you study with him (drabble)

▸ jealous — when men touch you, shinsou gets jealous (drabble)

▸ sensei — being a pro hero means having a will of steel, too bad for shinsou that will of steel has one major kryptonite: a schoolgirls skirt. (scenario)

takami keigo (hawks)

▸ situational — you two are stuck together and tension rises (drabble)

▹ phoenix — you have a quirk that gives you the hero name phoenix (hc)

▸ caught in the act — kinktober day 15 (scenario)

▸ heats — how takami is during his heats (drabble)

▸ his ahegao — you react to his ahegao face (hc)

▸ ahegao face — takami reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ overstimulation — how he overstimulates you (hc)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▸ booty — slap his ass (drabble)

▸ dorm room — in which takami sneaks into your dorm room (drabble)

▹ asexual — he finds out you’re asexual (hc)

▸▹ dating — hc’s for dating takami (hc)

▹ because I love you — he broke up with you to save you, but he still wants you (scenario)

▹ frosting mishaps — baking with takami is disastrous as always (scenario)

▹ do you trust me — will you take the birds hand or die? (drabble)

takeyama yu (mt. lady)

▸ lingerie dreams — kinktober day 21 (scenario)

todoroki enji (endeavor)

▸ seven — rich and powerful men can marry seven different women in a wild attempt to produce the perfect heir. todoroki enji is one of these powerful men, and you’re his seventh bride. (scenario)

todoroki touya dabi

▹ stronger than you — dabi is a dad now and his son is just like him (scenario)

▸ dominate him — you’re a lady in the sheets and a freak in the sheets (hc)

▸ werewolf lover — they’re horny and you’re asexual (hc)

▹ stay in bed — dabi doesn’t want to let you go in the morning (drabble)

▹ wedding date — youre desperate for a date, and dabi wants a kiss (drabble)

▸ louder — make dabi a subby bitch (hc)

▹ 2 am call — you need dabi at two in the morning (drabble)

▹ laughter — dabi’s laugh is not cute but thats okay (drabble)

▸ scream my name — dabi won’t stop until you’re screaming (drabble)

▸ add another — how many fingers will fit in you (drabble)

▸ blindfolds — with no sight you sit and wait (drabble)

▹ glass doors — you run into a glass door (drabble)

▸ no boundaries — dabi will fuck you anywhere no matter the mood (drabble)

▹ you missed — getting stuck in a closet is always weird (drabble)

▸ 4 times dabi wanted you; 1 time he got you — kinktober day 1 (scenario)

▸ piercings — what piercings does he have? (hc)

▸ ahegao face — dabi reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ size — dabi with a size kink (hc)

▹ happy birthday — sometimes dabi just needs a hug (drabble)

todoroki natsuo

▹ todoroki-sensei — todoroki natsuo is an esteemed trauma surgeon, and you’re the volunteer that won’t leave his mind (scenario)

▸ study breaks — natsuo needs a break and you’ll give him one (drabble)

▸ mamihlapinatapai — mamihlapinatapai: the wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. (scenario)

todoroki shouto

▹ strawberry milk and watermelon seeds — first piece on tumblr (scenario)

▹ childhood lover — going from childhood friends to lovers (hc)

▹ seven days late -  part two— shouto leaves for seven days and has nothing to say for it (scenario) 

▹ sleeping — how the two of you sleep together (hc)

▹ not ready — shouto reveals the horrors of his childhood (scenario)

▹ welcome home: the series — part one  part two  part three  part four  part five the adventures of your family with shouto and your baby, kaito. (scenarios)

▹ captured — in which youre captured by villains and chaos starts (hc)

▸ and they were roommates: the series — part one  part two  part three modern!au. there are many issues when getting a new roommate. you just never expected your issue would be fucking your hot roommate every chance you had (scenario)

▹ i love you? — shouto realizes he’s in love with you and needs help (hc)

▹ lip synch queen — you enjoy lip synching songs to shouto (hc)

▹ I think I’m pregnant — you believe you’re pregnant with your ex’s baby (hc)

▹ meeting the todorokis — shouto introduces you to his family finally (scenario)

▹ concerts and songs — shouto takes you on a date to a concert (scenario)

▹ staying home — you like to stay home and thats okay (scenario)

▸ I hate you - part two — shouto is a villain and you’re the one he’s after (scenario)

▹ gone for too long — long distance relationships suck sometimes (scenario)

▹ hollow — youre an assassian; shouto is your target (hc)

▸ dominate him — you’re a lady in the sheets and a freak in the sheets (hc)

▸ my girl — jealous lovers and work don’t mix (scenario) part two

▹ drinks — shouto is upset and you are on the receiving end (drabble)

▹ confessions — you’re dying and you have to confess (drabble)

▹ come back — shouto doesn’t want to leave the bed (drabble)

▸ fuckboy — in which shouto is a fuckboy and you’re his target (drabble)

▹ dumbass — you threaten shouto with a good time (drabble)

▹ you never came — shouto never shows up to a date (drabble)

▹ apologies — shouto apologizes for being mean (drabble)

▹ hold me — shouto’s quirks come in handy to keep warm or cold (drabble)

▹ what’s happening — shouto bangs his head really hard (drabble)

▸ broken hopes — makeup sex is bittersweet (drabble)

▸ dirty talk — you help shouto improve his dirty talk (drabble)

▸ spring showers — bodies slick with rain, lips dancing with passion (oneshot)

▹ sickness and affliction — shouto burns you (scenario)         part two  alt ending  actual fluff ending

▹ believe in me — all you want is for shouto to believe in you the same way he believes in momo (scenario)

▸ body swap — you trade bodies with shouto, hormones ensue (drabble)

▸ shut up — shouto fucks you on the common room couch (drabble)

▹ tsundere — you’re a bit of a tsundere (hc)

▹ done — theres always bitterness in cheating (drabble)

▹ my heart — shouto is a fighter and youre the girl who cant watch him dance with death anymore (drabble)

▸ like ice — you’re as cold as ice and shouto has to warm you up ;) (scenario)

▹ cupcakes — you make cupcakes with shouto (hc)

▹ gone — youre gone and shouto is not okay (drabble)

▹ drinking — you get drunk with shouto (hc)

▹ phoenix — you have a quirk that gives you the hero name phoenix (hc)

▸ awaken — kinktober day 4 (scenario)

▹ faint — you wont let shouto die, not now (drabble)

▹ trust me — kissing a pretty girl is always a good distraction (drabble)

▸ orders — shouto orders you to touch yourself (drabble)

▹ ships — you make a cardboard ship with shouto (drabble)

▹ because of you — shouto gives a lovely speech about you (scenario)

▸ attraction — kinktober day 27 (scenario)

▸ sugar daddy — shouto as your sugar daddy (hc)

▹ of love and flowers — you’re in love with shouto, but is it a tragedy? (scenario)

▸ usagi and hito — kinktober day 31 (scenario)

▸ foursome — todobakukiri foursome (hc)

▸ sub — how he is as a sub (hc)

▸ ahegao face — how he reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▸ orgies — more todobakukiri now with shinsou action (hc)

▹ happiness: the series — soulmates have the name of their other half inked on their wrists on the youngest eighteenth birthday, but why is yours rejecting you?            happiness part one  bravado part two  amelioration part three

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ marshmallow kisses — roasting marshmallows with shouto (scenario)

▹ fools — shouto is in love with you, but no one wants to confess (scenario)

▸ bathtub memories — you masturbate to an old memory (scenario)

▸ under the mistletoe — the mistletoe tradition is known by all, and if used correctly it can end in a sweet moment. too bad shouto believes that people fuck under the mistletoe and not kiss under it.

▹ distractions — you can never focus when you study with him (drabble)

▹ tortillas — you use shouto to make tortillas (drabble)

▹ writers block — you have writers block and shouto comforts you (scenario)

▹ replacement — momo dies and you and shouto try healing together (scenario)             renewed part two

▹ love letters — shouto writes a letter for every day the two of you are together (scenario)

▹ fifteen kisses — fourteen different kisses you give shouto; the one different kiss he gives you (scenario)

▹ exchange — shouto would do anything for you, even dying for you (drabble)

▸ desperate — shouto takes teasing to the extreme (drabble)

▹ too late — shoutos realization is too late (drabble)

▸ please leave — you wake up to see pro heroes shouto and ground zero naked in your bedroom (drabble)

▸ house sitting & concupcience — in which Endeavor asks Shouto for a favor, and Shouto decides to take his payment by fucking you on his bed. 

▸ winner takes it all — shouto wins a contest where the grand prize is getting to have you sit on his face.

▹ memories — shouto loses his memories, and you can’t do anything but watch as your world falls apart.

▸ wall fucks — shouto fucks you against a wall in endeavors agency.

▸ seven minutes — shouto signs up to have anonymous sex; you’re the lucky bitch who gets him. 

▹ a brush of luck — in a world where soulmates exist you can communicate yours with a brush of a pen. It just doesn’t help that you are a certified idiot with a skill in misplacing things. 

▸ forehead fantasies — you can’t help but fantasize on your boyfriend’s forehead that always remains hidden.  

▹ pay attention to me — you want shouto’s attention, but he’s a bit too occupied with trivial things. 

▹ shallow or deep — “why would you want a guy with such a large and disgusting burn?” he whispered, his tone thoroughly rejected, broken. it was then that it hit you: did he think he wasn’t good enough for you?

▹ model-worthy — sleepy mornings in with shouto.

▸ deception — “don’t you see what he’s doing to you?! he’s hurt you way more than what’s acceptable in a sparring march! you’re bruised and hurting, and he sure as hell doesn’t seem to care that this is the state he’s left you in.” — or in which, hawks manipulates how you view your boyfriend, shouto.

▸ aphrodite — “aphrodite is just a stage name, but the persona is still you. you might be a total dork, but the person you think you present has always been apart of you.” — or, in which pro hero shouto falls in love with a dominatrix cam girl, only to find out that she’s quite a weirdo in real life.

▹ eternal love — a simple love story between a tattoo artist and a flower shop owner.

▸ taoreta — the world is in ruins, but there’s beauty in everything. shouto is reminded of that when he crosses paths with a survivor who kisses him at the first meeting. 

▹ strawberry milk and strawberry milk (rewritten) — how to get through the worst summer heat: have a sweet drink, eat sweet fruit, and have someone with the sweetest kiss around.

▹ before you go — before you go, tell me this meant something to you.

▸ hole in the wall — in a party for the ages, Shouto comes across a room with holes in the wall that has him coming back for more. 

togata mirio

▸ teasing — touching yourself means teasing mirio (drabble)

▹ dead — you died and now mirio can’t live (drabble)

▸ until the last one comes — kinktober day 7 (scenario)

▸ ahegao face — how he reacts to your ahegao face (hc)

▹ sunflower — mirio tries figuring out a nickname for you (oneshot)

▸ the big three — they want you (hc)

▹ asexual — he finds out you’re asexual (hc)

▸ itadakimasu — mirio always says one thing before eating, yes that includes you (drabble)

▸ doggy style — mirio fucks you good (hc)

▹ christmas morning — mirio gives you a wonderful christmas morning (scenario)

▸ unbreakable — mirios afraid to hurt you, but you want more (drabble)

▹ soulmates — soulmates don’t exist, but mirio thinks youre his (drabble)

toyomitsu taishiro (fatgum)

▸▹ alphabet hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc)

▹ mornings after — taishiro always knows how to make mornings the best

uraraka ochako

▸▹ villain uraraka hc’s — nsfw and sfw alphabet (hc) 

usagiyama rumi

▹ that final phone call — miruko is one tough rabbit, but eventually even the toughest of people need a helping hand. (scenario)

utsushimi camie

▹ home for the holidays — camie meets your family (scenario)

yagi toshinori (all might)

▹ years — youre sir’s sister who was in love with all might for years (drabble)

yamada hizashi

▹ back off — even aizawa is prone to jealousy (scenario)

▹ ice skating — you go on an ice skating date with hizashi (scenario)

▹ swimsuit tops — losing your bikini top is never a good memory (scenario)

▹ sweater — you lost you sweater, you wonders who has it (drabble)

▹ laughter — hizashi has never heard you laugh before (drabble)

▹ under the mistletoe — holidays are for lovers, and you’re married (scenario)

▸ sexy times — just some headcanons (hc)

yaoyorozu momo

▸ never have I ever — kinktober day 11 (scenario)

yoarashi inasa

▹ passion, passion, and more passion — childhood friends to lovers (hc)

▸ too hot — you play a game where you’re only allowed to kiss (drabble)

▹ laughter — inasa’s laughter is loud and contagious and you love it (drabble)

▸ sensitive — inasa exploits your sensitive nipples (drabble)

▹ pounce! — inasa jumps on you (drabble)

▹ stay warm — please don’t pass out, please don’t... (drabble)

▸ fantasy — you make his wildest dream come true (drabble)

▸ bday fun — you let inasa have fun on his birthday (drabble)

▸ high sex — high sex with inasa includes (hc)

#masterlist #burnedbyshoto masterlist

[vickylamore]

Enemy Of The Wolves [2]

TW: Language, Violence, Mentions of deaths

Pairing: [slight] Mark Lee x Female Reader, NCT OT23 [Mostly platonic] x Female Reader

Genre: Action, Military Style AU, Organized crime AU, Mafia AU, Angst and Fluff

(2/?) Part 1 Part 3

Word Count: 5k

[Main Masterlist] [Enemy Of The Wolves - Mini Masterlist]

Summary: Not only were you one of the few females to be apart of Neo Culture Technology’s underground organized crime association, you were also the only and top ranked female captain in the entire industry. Even if you worked in a majority male industry, you earned respect from nearly every one of your male counterparts. All but one. That one not only exposed your name to one of NCT’s worst and most vicious rivals but signed NCT’s entire demise. Only one group will prevail, the other left in ruins with no chance of recovery.

Notes: The way it’s 1am and I know I wont finish editing til 2am is sending me into orbit. This took.. a while to update for various reasons but here it is!

Disclaimer: Please remember that this is a work of fiction and solely fiction. Any of the idols written and mentioned in this series would never take part in these actions, let alone stand by/condone them. The idols mentioned are merely used as characters and in no way am I saying that this is how they act in real life.

“Not you telling Jisung that him punching another student was justified.” You deadpanned as soon as you arrived in his office where most members were, Yuta closed the door behind you as you looked at Taeyong. “Really? That it was justified?”

“‘Hello Taeyong, great to see you again Taeyong, I missed you Taeyong, how are you and Neo Culture doing, Taeyong?’” He exasperated, setting down the documents that were once in his hands to look at you, an irritating smirk on his lips. “Not one of the following has come out of your mouth.”

“Of course not,” you scoffed, moving your hair out of the face, “who do you think I am, an angel?”

“Far from it.”

You looked at Johnny with an annoyed gaze and mumbled, “exactly my point.” You groaned and threw your head back, exhausting seeping into your veins. “And you wouldn’t believe what happened in the lounge…” you turned to Yuta and asked, “my head feels like it’s about to explode so please fill them in on what happened.”

“Lee Jihoon was being disrespectful, got on her nerves, disrespected her again, it attracted a crowd of students and she got fed up, went all commando on him and all his friends, told them to meet in her office in thirty minutes and now she’s here.” Yuta summarized what happened in about thirty seconds.

“Yeah, pretty much.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“It was bound to happen,” Doyoung spun in his chair to face you, a tired look crossing his features. “Him and his little friend group have been getting on my nerves ever since you left.”

“Speaking of which,” you said while looking back at Taeyong, “what do you mean the punch was justified?”

“It was.”

“It was though,” Jaehyun supported Taeyong, a small laugh escaping his lips, “it was funnier when Jihoon tried playing the victim in front of us. Oooh, the look on his face when he realized we saw everything.”

“How about his ‘friends’?” Questioned Jungwoo, who sent you a small wave, “his friends tried defending him too. But yes, it was totally justified.”

“Welcome back to Neo Culture, (Y/n),” Taeil said sarcastically, “take it as welcoming since all the bad news crashed onto you.”

You were finally back home, you were finally with your family again. You weren’t away from them for a little over two months. You completed your mission, despite the altercations, and came back home safe and sound. You were happy, they were happy too- despite the fact that half of them won’t admit it. “Thank you, it feels so much better to be back.” You almost laughed at yourself, “despite everything.”

Taeyong pointed to an empty seat in between Jaehyun and Doyoung, one you gladly took as Yuta sat in between Jungwoo and Taeil. You fist-bumped Jaehyun as you sat down, taking out the USB in your pocket, sliding across the table to pass it to Taeil. You suppress a yawn despite looking exhausted.

“Report.”

“I’m doing okay, not great but not terrible. Exhausted? Yes. That nineteen-hour flight was not it, lemme tell you that.” A few of them chuckled at your words. “The mission was successful, all information acquired and secured in the USB.”

“Canada, sorry- Toronto was nice though, more or less the people than the land itself. I enjoyed it as much as I was able to on an undercover mission to wipe out the headquarters but it was okay.” You said, your mind distracting you from the heart-wrenching news about to come out. “Other than that, I’m fine, I’m alive… a few cuts and bruises but I’m okay… physically. Mentally? Not so much.” You laughed it off, yet the crippling guilt and regret settling in your chest.

“The Dragons in Canada eliminated, no other known locations, intel gained on the fallen group; all files gained on Neo Culture gained, all the information of current members in Seoul gained, one known locations of SS in South Korea; 89137 Gugandum Lake, underground mine, no traces back to Neo Culture, base burned to the floor… no survivors.” You said the last part a little quieter than the rest, which made Taeyong look at you curiously. 

“What’s up?”

Yuta glanced at you, trying to figure out what got you so upset. By the time he figured it out, you were stopping tears from flooding your eyes. You hated it, you hated it with a passion. You hated your sensitive side, your emotional side, the one that cared for kids and teens. It made you more down to earth but it made you soft. You, of course, didn’t let that side of you interfere with your job but you hated the feeling inside your gut each time you came across the enemy. 

To Neo Culture, they were the enemy. To you, they were the enemy but to your eyes, they were children.

“How many?” Yuta asked, his voice softer compared to before. By the short conversation you had with him while walking to the boss's office, he could tell it bothered you to the point where it was so close to breaking. The little heated moment in the D.R.E.A.M.S lounge definitely didn’t help you emotionally.

He read you like a book and uncovered what was bothering you just by one question from earlier, “how many were there (Y/n)?”

You stared at him, knowing that if you glanced at anyone else, you would cry. If you were honest, you were devastated. You hated it. You didn’t know they were there, you didn’t even know they recruited so young. The one in Korea didn’t, so why would the one in Canada do? If you had known you would’ve tried to get them out in time… but you didn’t. You wanted the feeling of zemblanity to cloud your thoughts but the more you tried to ignore the fact that you let them die, the more it was hitting you, harder with each suppressed thought.

“Eleven.” You finally said, letting a sigh escape your lips. “Eleven of them were burned alive because I didn’t know The Dragons recruited children.” The sentence hanged in the air, the reason why you were so upset was revealed. No one said a word as you closed your eyes, the screams of terror and agony filled your mind once again as you balled your fists, guilt feeling your chest. “Eleven kids, the same ages as tier nine and ten… eleven kids who I didn’t know were there burned alive all because I had the ideology that The Dragons Canada would do the same as the one in Korea; they wouldn’t recruit anyone under the age of eighteen.”

“Are you sure none of them escaped?” Taeyong asked, chin resting on his intertwined knuckles.

“The case file had counted 123 members in The Dragons. The updated files I acquired read 123 members including 11 members under eighteen…” you swallowed the lump in your throat, the agonizing burning climbing up your chest. “After the explosion, I went in to make sure that everyone was dead… I came across eleven bodies of teenagers… I know what a teen’s body looks like Taeyong.”

But you wish you hadn’t. You wish you didn’t. You wish, in that moment, you forgot what a teen’s body looked like. But you remembered. You remembered as soon as you stumbled upon the first one, then the next, then the next… the burned corpses engraved in your mind will forever haunt your nightmares.

“I’m asking for a temporary break from all overseas missions,” you asked sternly, your eyes moving to your boss, your eyes glossy and tears threatening to spill. A lump in your throat, you ran a hand over your mouth. “A few weeks, a couple of months at most. I just-”

“(Y/n),” Taeyong cut you off, stopping you from talking further. His hands were clasped together on the table, eyes empty so you wouldn’t be able to decipher any emotion from him. “Ask granted.” you met his eyes as he nodded, understanding what you needed right now. He might be your boss and he might be cold and ruthless, but he was your brother, he understood why you were asking. 

Taeyong was always one of the few people you would turn to in desperate need. It was always him, Kun, Mark and Lucas. Taeyong was the one to recruit you, the one to give you shelter, the one to give you the position you have today as Captain. He proved that women could be soldiers with you, that women could be just as ruthless with their job and he proved that with you. He was the one you would turn to in intense mental and emotional turmoil because he understood everything just by how he created Neo Culture.  

It wasn’t common for corporations to be close. There was one simple goal that was recurring in almost every organization; get the job done. It was different in the space you were practically raised in and honestly speaking, you were grateful that it could be considered a safe space for teens that were brought here at a young age. There’s a reason why NCT was huge and successful; it all started with a good foundation.

It was also rare for generals to be close with their inner circle; they were supposed to take charge, not babysit their soldiers. Taeyong somehow managed to incorporate both into one. His words will always echo in your mind; “Having a good foundation is the key to success, and I plan to use that to all of our advantage, starting with the idea of family.”

“Take the time you need, you don’t need to explain yourself.” He sent you a small smile, one that you greatly appreciated. He might be the heartless NCT boss but when the doors were closed, when he was with 127, WayV and Dream, his true nature showed; the one where he was caring, loving and warm. Where he would laugh like there’s no tomorrow, moments when he would joke around with you and everyone else. The one that wouldn’t be afraid to ask anyone for a second opinion (mainly Yuta, Kun, Taeil and Johnny) and won’t be afraid to tell anyone to talk to him if he sees them struggling.

“Do you need someone to take over your classes?” 

You shook your head, your shoulders slouching in defeat. “No, no… I got my classes under control.” You look up at him, “thank you.”

“You need it,” was all he said, “go rest up back at Dream’s dorm. I’ll let Mark know you’ll be there soon, right after your discussion with the boys in tier two.”

You nod your head then proceed to get up from your seat, everything weighing down on you at once. You keep nodding to yourself to stop yourself from breaking down, not wanting to cry in front of them. Heck, some have never seen you cry, again, only a select few and you really wanted to keep to way.

When you got up, Jaehyun got up with you to give you a hug, one that you needed for your own well being. You hugged him tightly, appreciating the act he rarely gives as he whispers, “if you need anything, you know where to find us. WayV is here too.” You nodded your head again, a small ‘okay’ leaving your lips.

He’s never seen you so broken before, he knew you had a soft side for kids, especially the tenth tier but he didn’t blame you for being so upset. He knew you felt guilty, he knew you felt responsible for their deaths and even thought that you were the one that caused it. One side of him, the older brother, wants to tell you that it wasn’t your fault. The interrogator in him knew that telling you such things were lies because he too, knew deep down that the explosion was the cause of their deaths.

You release him from your hold, thanking him again before walking towards the door. You sighed and offered the men of 127 a small smile, one that hides all your emotions and troubles. “I’ll see you guys later.”

--

You still had a couple more minutes until your small meeting with the second tier boys so you decided to visit WayV. You hadn’t seen them in what felt like forever, almost six months to be exact. You missed them like crazy and you didn’t want them seeing you in an emotional mess so you decided to visit them now, right before you went back to your respective dorm.

You scanned your hand on the scanner at the end of the hall, opening the door as soon as it unlocks and, instantly, you’re met with a hug that almost knocked you backwards. You kept your balance though, clutching onto his shirt like your life depended on it. You missed him, you missed him so much. Hell, you didn’t realize just how much you missed them til right now.

“You’re back…” you muttered under your breath, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. He was one of your first students, him and Dream. And now he’s got his life together with WayV. “You’re back.”

He giggled under his breath, “you’re back too… we’ve been in Korea for almost a month and I wanted to see you again- but that doesn’t matter now, you’re here right? That’s all that counts.” You heard his voice crack the tiniest bit at the end but you didn’t point it out. You didn’t want to. 

Yangyang is your only graduate student. He was in the D.R.E.A.M.S and was under your wing until you deemed he was ready to be a part of WayV. It was so hard for you to let him go, you’ve seen him grow as an individual and a teammate… you were devastated, to say the least, and now that you’re seeing him for the first time in a while.

If it wasn’t already clear, WayV was more like your best friend group, 127 was your older brothers/mentor group and Dream were your little brothers.Well, as much as they could be in the life you live and the job you did. It just happened and it fit as it was. 

You pulled away and immediately baffled on your words at the sight of his hair colour. It was black, which wasn’t out of the ordinary (you’ve seen him in both black and brown before), yet he had silver-white streaks in his hair. 

“You did not pull a Jason Todd.” You deadpanned, touching his hair as you glared at him, “You better not die on me, you got it?” 

“How can I possibly die when I’m coding all the time?” He giggles again, pointing at your own hair.

“Okay female reserve Todd, you’re the one to talk with the ombre silver hair,” you push him lightly as you both giggle like little kids. “But it suits you, you look more like a badass than before.”

You scoff, running a hand through your hair, “I’d say the same to you, only that you now look like a badass, not before though.” You giggle as he playfully hits your shoulders, his own giggles leaving his mouth. After regaining your composure, you asked, “where’s everyone else?”

Yangyang only grabbed your arm and pulled you across the entrance before stopped when you wanted to take off your jacket and left it on the coat hanger, as well as your mask and your arm gear. Taking those off revealed your tattoos, on the right the written of NCT on it and the left; the marking of Captain for D.R.E.A.M.S. He waiting until you were done to pull you into the living room/kitchen where Kun was cooking with Sicheng, Ten was sitting on the couch furthest away from the TV, Hendery and Lucas were currently sitting in front of the TV playing Mario Kart as Xiaojun observed from a distance on the couch.

“You’ve been playing this game with Yangyang forever and you still suck!”

“Say the person who can’t drift properly.”

“You both can’t trash talk each other when you both suck,” Xiaojun laughed, adjusting his position on the couch.

“Shut up!”

Your eyes widen when both Mario Kart players tell the other to shut it. You spared a glance at Yangyang who was smiling while leaning against the doorframe. “They’re trash-talking… over Mario Kart?” You whispered. 

“It’s nothing new,” he whispered back, a happy smile on his face.

“Over Mario Kart…” he shrugged his shoulders as you looked back at the tv, watching Lucas horribly losing as Hendery was way ahead of him. He suddenly picks up a blue shell but doesn’t use it. You’ve truly never facepalmed so hard in your life until now.

“Lucas, if you want a chance to win, then use the blue shell on Hendery right now, it’ll stun him for a couple seconds, which will give you enough time to catch up to him,” You quickly say and he does as he’s told, the strategy working and eventually, Lucas winning the game.

He smiled in victory as he said, “thanks (Y/n).” There’s an immediate pause after he says your name. You rolled your eyes, knowing that they all heard you talk and Lucas even mentioned your name, what’s there not to realize.

“You guys are so slow.”

“Nah for real…” you agreed with the youngest as everyone snaps their heads in your direction, smiles beaming across their faces. Hendery is the first to move, getting up and almost falling on the floor, hoping over the couch to reach you. 

You’re met with his warmth, his hug, as he buries his face into your neck and you on his chest. You missed him so much too, it hurts how much you missed them. Hendery wasn’t your student per say, he was already on higher tiers compared to you when you first got to Neo Culture. But then you both waned up in the same tier, tier three and that’s when you both hit it off. He and Lucas became your best friends.

You started tearing up a bit, you weren’t going to lie. It was great seeing Hendery again, you almost forgot how amazing his hugs were too. 

“I missed you so much,” he whispered in your ear, causing your heart to swell in awe. “I missed you more you idiot.”

“It’s you already insulting not even five minutes of hugging for me,” you let out a small laugh, one that’s muffled against the fabric of his shirt.

“It’s you not understanding how much I’ve missed you for me,” you whispered, tears threatening to spill. 

“I hate you for making me cry.”

Hendery laughs under his breath, “honestly me too.” He pulls away, smiling softly down on you as he laughs again, it being a lot more soft this time around, “why are you crying?” 

“Oh, I don’t know… it’s not like I haven't seen you or anyone here for the last six months. It's been rough okay?” You said, groaning and pressing your forehead on his shoulder, “plus I’m not crying, my eyes are sweating. It’s super hot in here, okay?”

You hear a couple laughs behind you as you turn around to see Sicheng and Kun smiling at you as well. You giggle and quickly run up to them, crushing them both into a hug. More tears spill from your eyes, the thought of missing them once again fills your mind.

“You’ve grown,” you roll your eyes at Sicheng’s comment. 

“No, shut up, you can’t say that. You can’t say I’ve gotten taller when you’re literally six feet tall-”

“I think he meant matured (Y/n),” you stay silent for a moment, ignoring the way you just embarrassed yourself by assuming something. 

“No words, truly, genuinely, forget it ever happened.”

They both chuckled as you released them from your hold, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes. Kun and Sicheng have seen you grow into the amazing woman you are today. Both have trained you in both the medical and weaponry field, teaching you all you need to know. You thanked them for everything and unlike 127, who baby you (some way more than others) despite the fact that you all are in the corrupted military, WayV doesn't, hence why you consider them your best friend group.

“You didn’t see me crying,” you said but let out a fit of giggles as someone grabs you from behind, spinning you around and crushing you with a hug. “If you don’t be careful Xiaojun, you’ll suffocate her before Lucas gets to her.”

“Who said I’ll let her go to Lucas?” He said sarcastically, or that’s what you want to think. You know Xiaojun, especially when it came to you, was very much clingy. Which, to anyone else, was unusual, especially for the investigator of the group but he had a lot of reasons to be.

Of course, since you all are involved in the underground activity, it’s bound for one of you to get hurt. You and Xiaojun actually didn’t start off on the right foot, you both just didn’t click. To you, he always was cold and honestly rude towards you. You didn’t really care, at the time that is. That all changed when you both were on a D.R.E.A.M.S mission and you were kidnapped by the enemy; you and twelve others. You had distracted the enemy long enough for him to escape, to get help and to rescue the rest of the lower tiers. At the time, you and he were leading that mission as you both were in the second tier (you just turned 18 and he was turning 18 in a couple of months). 

He promised you that he would come back for you, the guilt was swallowing him whole as he raced his way back to base. When he had come back with reinforcements, you weren’t where he left you, and that’s what scared him the most.

He didn’t know that you were trying to take down the person behind the kidnapping, that is until he heard a gunshot. He remembered his heart bursting in thousands of pieces when he heard it and rushed his way to the location where it was heard. Of course, he wasn’t rude or cold to you for nothing, he just didn’t know how to act in front of you, someone who excelled in all her classes and was one of the strongest and smartest people he knew. So he was more upset with himself that he thought he wouldn’t get the chance to tell you how much he looked up to you before it was too late.

When he got to the locked room and found you lying on the floor, seemingly unconscious, his heart dropped. He kicked the door down and cleared the room before rushing to your side, looking for any injuries which he found, a bullet to the shoulder. 

Long story short, he kept his promise and realized that he was acting horribly towards you for no reason. After you had recovered, you both became very close friends. That being said, Xiaojun is a lot more protective than the rest of WayV, Ten being the least out of the seven men.

“Hey Jun.”

“Hi (Y/n).”

He rested his chin on your head, as you pressed your head against his chest, his heartbeat thumping in your eyes. You wrapped your arms around his waist, holding onto him. It was calming, to say the least, relaxing almost. You both didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to. You just listened to the sound of his heartbeat, letting it fill your thoughts.

You didn’t want to think about how you’ll tell them about what you did. You were still very upset about what happened on your mission, you couldn’t help but feel so much guilt and hatred towards yourself but you needed to hold it in, just until you finish with your small discussion with the cinquet.

“Alright, I’m done,” you lifted your head to see who said it but you were suddenly ripped from Xiaojun’s arms and you were falling backwards on the sofa with his arms wrapped around your waist before falling down the sofa and landing on the floor.

“Lucas!” You yelled but it was muffled by his shirt when you toppled on top of him, your head laid on his chest as your arms were practically pinned against his stomach, limiting your movement and all the air leaving your body as the taller male suffocates you without it crossing his mind. “Xuxi-”

“Lucas, you’re suffocating her,” you heard Hendery complain as Xiaojun scoffs from where you used to be. “And this is why I didn’t want him hugging her. He isn’t going to let go.”

“Of course not, I haven’t seen her in decades.”

“I mean, duh,” you chuckled, “we haven’t been alive for more than three, barely passing the two mark.” You get back up and kick him in the thigh, “that’s for tackling me like a linebacker dumbass.”

“Tennie.”

“Don’t ever call me that again you bitch,” you laughed and gave him a hug when he walked over to you, a smirk on his face. “I’m being serious, what a horrible nickname.”

“It’s cute.”

“It’s horrid, disgusting, pitiful,” whacking you on top of your head, he acted offended while pulling away, “I can’t believe you’d treat me this way, after everything I’ve done for you.”

Ten was your trainer when you first got to Neo Culture, teaching you everything you know from hand to hand combat to weapons to large arms. Maybe he’s the reason as to why your personality resembles his too, you used to hang around him all the time.

With the time passing and catching up with the boys, you realized that it was time to talk to your students in tier two. You weren’t dreading the conversation but you definitely wanted to avoid it as much as possible since you just got back.

“I actually gotta go, as much as I don't want to,” you sighed as you moved away from Lucas’s hold, a small frown on his face. God, you didn't want to leave them already especially since you just got here but you needed to resolve the issue with your second tier students. “I need to resolve some issues with some of my students.”

“But you just got here,” Yangyang protested, his back facing you as he surveilled the food on the countertop.”"Since when are your students more important than me?”

“Screw the kids, just stay here,” you rolled your eyes at Ten, playfully hitting him on the shoulder as he pushed his glasses further up his nose. “I'm not joking; they should be fine. Plus, you taught them how to fight and you learned from the best; me.”

“You both are being selfish,” you say as you shake and turn to the youngest of the group. “And I never said they were more important, which technically they are, but I got my priorities sorted out.” You started walking towards the entrance of the living room.

“Ouch,” whispered Hendery, “could you be any more harsh?”

You ran a hand through your hair, looking at the second youngest with a tired look, “do you want me to be?” He raised his hands in defense as you turned to everyone but the two youngest. “Gimme a few hours and I'll be back. I'll see you guys later.”

Waving you off, you walked out of the living room and made your way towards your office in the D.R.E.A.M.S building.

#nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #wayv #nct x reader #nct u x reader #nct dream x reader #wayv x reader #nct imagines #nct u imagines #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 imagines #wayv imagines #nct dream imagines #nct mafia #nct 127 mafia #nct dream mafia #nct u mafia #wayv mafia #nct mafia au #nct u mafia au #nct dream mafia au #nct 127 mafia au #wayv mafia au #nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct u scenarios #nct dream scenarios #wayv scenarios

[platinummice]

I don’t know what im doing i just wanted to talk about Faust and Boone cause i love them a lot. This is almost too much, and might be hard to read idk my brain wont let me focus, and i think faster than i can type so if you find any typos thats why okay i gotta got to sleep goodnight

I mentioned in the tags of something, I can’t remember what, that Boone has to make the first move in their relationship. It’s true, Faust doesn’t want to intrude, make Boone uncomfortable, or over step his boundaries. I mean the first time they met Boone had him track down the person who sold his wife. Something like that had happened to Faust he’d never get over it. It seems to be the same with Boone and Faust understands that. Like 6 weeks into traveling together Faust catches feelings, and all he really thinks is ‘oh ffs why’. He tries to ignore it, it’s just another little crush, it’ll go away, they always do. A month goes by and the boy is still struggling, but that’s fine he can cover it up. It’s not like he talks to him much, sure they see a lot of each other but it’s fine it’s fine. 14 weeks in Faust starts thinking maybe, just maybe, it’s not so much of a crush. He still doesn’t say anything. He likes Boone, the man is one hell of a sniper, and they have a good thing going; he’s not going to ruin it with some dumb feelings. Eventually, after more waiting for his feelings to magically go away, Faust accepts that he’s in love. It doesn’t change too much, Faust feels a little guilty though, falling in love with a man who is so obviously still in love with his wife. It’s alright though, he doesn’t need Boone to feel like he does. Faust just wants him alive, well, and happy. Happy is something they’ll have to work on, and he’ll do it with no complaints. So that’s what he does, keeps quite, and just tries to help Boone where he can. Sure sometimes he cries about it during his watch shift at night, but it’s fine, and Boone definitely doesn’t know about it (spoiler: he does, stop crying so loud Faust). When Boone agrees to face the trauma from Bitter Springs, Faust is there to listen, to offer support. They stay the night, and spend a lot of time talking through what happened and how Boone felt and still feels. They fight off the legionaries, and after the attack they sit, bruised and bloodied. Boone doesn’t realize how absolutely livid he makes Faust when he says he fully expected to die, but Faust also doesn’t attempt to communicate it. He gives Boone a paper, after he’s done talking that simply says “You can’t change the past, but the future has yet to come. I’ll always be here if you need me.” And then they’re back to it. Faust fights for an independent Vegas, which Boone seemed fine with so long as there were no unnecessary NCR deaths. With the war over, the 2nd battle for hoover dam fought, Faust and Boone take to guarding caravans and other mercenary type work. And it’s like that for three entire years. Three whole ass years go by and Faustus says literally nothing about being in love with Boone. But he does see Boone getting happier, and thats all he cares about. It isn’t until Faust damn near dies from a job gone wrong that Boone does anything. After getting Faust help, Boone wandered off by himself to think for a few days. When he came back, he found Faust standing, staring out the window to his room. Once he heard the door close Faust turned to greet him, and Boone cut him off by grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him in for a kiss. And Faust froze. He froze so damn hard, Boone pulled away, and was almost gone before he managed to call out to him. Boone would stop after hearing him. Faust doesn’t try to talk much so when he does you listen, Boone had learned. He turned back around and started to apologize, until Faust handed him a small folded piece of paper. It was obviously old, the ink was smeared and the paper warped from getting wet.

 “Boone, if anything happens to me, you get all my stuff. Please don’t be upset. I love you, forever and always. -Faustus” A sort of Will, and confession, with a bit of Faust’s weird humor. I can confirm Faust cried real hard after that interaction. It must have been a really big relief, like can you imagine he waited like 4 years for Boone. He would have waited the rest of his life too, but i can only put my characters through so much suffering before i start to feel really bad about it so.  

#When i say #faust doesnt say anything #i mean he doesnt communicate #he doesn't really talk lol #faustus #craig boone #I should have just wrote a lil fic or something but then id have to actually think #this is just brain vomit

[obsessionsposts]

Tw: toxic relationship / emotional manipulation at the end / non-con use of drugs.

In the harsh forests of Siberia, there lays a forlorned man kneeling in the ground ; as he observed his sole friend being eaten by the serrated teeth of the snow.

He didn't know which is worse the icy winds that threatens to graze his skin, or the empty void that keeps on growing gradually to enrapture him in a spectral of sorrow; leaving him without a light and any shred of hope.

Not that it mattered anyways, Vladimir was born alone; lived his life alone and probably will die alone.

When the hamster drowned completely ; the man grumbled and stood up to make away to his estranged family whom visits him scarcely in his shack of solitude.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

" приве́т, брат. как дела? ", a familiar care-free voice echoed through the Siberian larch shack.

" Здравствуйте, младшая сестра.Я в поря́дке", replied Vladimir in a monotone tone.

A few minutes have passed, yet the situation kept on getting awkward between the estranged siblings. Until, Dunya abruptly disturbed the silence with her sugary voice.

" Brother, l may not visit you frequently. However, I fret alot about how negligent you've recently become not only toward us, but also toward yourself. So, I have an idea to remedy your desolation. ," the Belarusian suggeted awaiting the response of the reticent male.

"What that may be ? It won't work. No matter any attempt I've conducted to burn the memory. At best it haunts me, at worst, it depletes me.", came the cynical voice of the large man who is huddled beside the fireplace.

"Please understand that I give you my word that this time you'll- , she was cut off by Vladimir.

"No! You lack understandment. If you did understand me back then, why did abandon me? Now, don't try to manipulate me with your sugar-coated words,dear sister", his voice filled with loathe and disregard toward his traitor of a sister. Not that she was of his own blood, which proves his point people are discrenibly not to be trusted.

At one point, they'll take what they want from you; and then they will abandon you at any chance they get. He wont let it happen to him again. Never again.

As he ignored the wailing of his pathetic sister to stay and consider ; he left his shack and decided to go to the nearest town to meet one of the few people he came to trust. (Y/n).

His beloved snowflake.

His latest hope, that he'll make sure to persevere this time.

It's his turn to be selfish and take his reward for all the years of agony and loneliness.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

A jingle was heard notifying you that a customer came. Only to be pleasantly surprised, that it was the the russian regular customer; Vladimir.

Well,at first he intimidated you; with his structure,lack of expression,and his nihilistic attitude. With time, as you got to know him better he is such a fascinating and kind man despite the rumors spread about him.

The enormous brunette approached you with a stoic expression decorating his visage, however you knew better that he was glum.

"What seems to trouble you,Vlad? You appear to be out of it today, more than the usual?", you asked concerned about him; considering Vlad repress his emotion which isn't a healthy outlet as of you red about.

Another thing, he cherishes about you that your concerns and frets are genuine. Alongside, your intellect that sparked both his mind and heart alike.

" Нет, just stressed. I want to talk to you,if you're not busy.", he huffed as he inserted his large hands inside the pockets of his overcoat.

" No, not all. Considering I am about to close the shop now. I don't mind accompany you. Just give me a momento~ and I'll be ready.", as you left to close the shop; you didn't notice the ghost of a smile contorting through the face of the brunette russian.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

"So, what are up to,Vlady? and care to share why were you upset? I don't want to be pushy, but If you'd like to share then I am all ears", you remarked and poked the towering man inflicting a warm feeling inside his heart. Just like the sun he rarely saw.

Sighing, as he began to retell about what happened a month ago along with recent happenings.

The way, he spoke about his best friend passing hurt your heart- reflecting your true nature as an empath- and the cold anger of his when he spoke about his family.

You wondered what happened to represent such hate. No matter, what matters now is to bring Vladimir spirits up.

"Say, what would you like me to do to bring your hopes up? Anything you'd like!", as you encircled your arms around his waist or in your case below his stomach.

The warmth of your bodice and it softness clashed against his rough and cold ones made him realize, how much of an important factor you represent in his wretched life with his wretched family and wretched luck.

In addition, if anyone did what you did he will forcefully push them aside. But, you! you are his everything as much as he will be your everything soon enough.

Now, the door of opportunities had granted him this chance to enrapture you in his grasp forevermore; thus he will take it with an iron firm hands.

"да,please. Follow me to my lodge,маленький", offering his hands to you.

Grasping his hands, you began to walk aside him to his abode.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

Nothing,but the howling of the wind was heard ; as the both of you strolled toward his domicile. Vladimir reached his pockets to grab the keys and open the inky door.

"Such an interesting and intricate place you got,Vlad. Did you buy it?", stepping inside of the well-decorated abode. Said abode, was built upon black wood, and everything here are made of either wood or rarely metal.

Yet, it captured your interest as you are a fan of vintage architecture such as this.

"Glad you like it. However, I hadn't bought it. If, anything I built from scratch as I have an interest in building structures."

"My, that's amazing!,Vlad. You're such a talented man", you complimented his craftsmanship as you laid your hand at a woman in bridal clothes made from various type of wood.

Meanwhile, as you were immersed in the details of the house ; Vladimir brewed some tea for both him and his wife-to-be.

' It seems that you took my den to your liking. Good, adapt. Because, from on you'll be living here ;you'll become one with me and won't have the chance to leave me.'

" (Y/n)? May you come and chatter with me over a cup of tea?", Vladimir beckoned you as he sat in an umber chair; which is in front of a circular chocolate brown table.

"Sure thing.", trotting toward him with a sparkle of interest residing in your eyes. On the other hand, your guts is telling you otherwise. However, you ignored it. That was the last strike, before your fall down.

" Remember our first meeting? Nostalgic as it may be,but it always have a special place in my dormant heart", the brunette sipped his tea as he awaited your response.

" Indeed, I do !. Infact, I do too cherished and it is very sweet of you to say that. Considering, you're a grumpy bear usually", you remarked playfully,sipped your tea, and watched him glare at you halfheartedly.

" V-vlady, what's happening all of sudden. Why is everything so dizzy?", you spoke as you watch the world around you swirl and black spots began hazing your mind. Before you plummeted to the ground, a large arms had caught you in their arms. It wasn't warm this time,it was deathly cold similar to the embrace of death himself.

The last thing you saw were; Vlad's bloody irises and a cold smile gracing his visage.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

Once you awakened from your stupor, you were met directly with the bloody orbs of the person whom took advantage of you.

" Ah! маленький. You've awaken; its seems the drug didn't last long. No matter, what truly matters is that you're with me now." ,Vladmir crawled closer to you. Thus, you started to take a step from your former friend.

"Why are you doing this Vladimir? Why? after all we've been through; you do this", your eyes began to drip in tears as you screamed at your fr- No! at the strange man that possessed your friend.

"Because, you are the only one who cares authentically about me and isn't afraid of me. You painted my grey world with your light. You're the sunshine that I never had, this why I have to keep you away. So, no one would taint you. Can't you see I am a merely broken man shunned and forsakened by his own family?. Yet, you want to take away my chance of happiness,маленький?", Vladimir remarked bitterly,staring intently through your eyes with desolate engraved in his cold dead eyes.

"Just give into me,love. If you won't I might do something we both will regret."

Finally, in the end he have gotten something good out of this pointless life! and he'll will ensure her safety with him as he'll drown her with the love that he never had.

This is a story of man who lost everything,yet he gained something better than everything; eternal love.

●◉◎◈◎◉●

A/n: Hope you like it. Sorry if it took so long and thank you for requesting!

Translations:

приве́т, брат. как дела? - Hello,brother. How are you?

Здравствуйте, младшая сестра.Я в поря́дке. - Hello, little sister. I'm fine.

да - Yes.

маленький - little one.

#yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere hetalia #yandere hetalia x reader #yandere #yandere fandoms #yandere imagines

[spookyspaghettisundae]

So Even Gods Can Die

Beeping. Revolving metallic sounds. Click. Computerized monitors. The light everywhere, blinding at first, then softening until his vision cleared. Click. Whirr. Click.

Bright light from the fluorescent tube overhead and daylight flooding in from a window. But it was not actually that bright. Click. It was his eyes slowly adjusting. The feeling of needles in his skin, taped down, and the plastic tubes hooked up to his nose to help him breathe.

Lips parched, throat dry. Click. When he swallowed, it felt like forcing down a lump of sand and lava. A woman sat in the room, and he did not recognize her. Click. But she looked at him, expectantly. Whirr.

A white box on the table next to the bed. Like one containing a cake. Click. The woman sitting in the room stared at him. The ominous white box stared at him. Click. Whirr.

It wasn’t his time yet. He refused to accept that. But between the woman and the box, he knew he was going to die.

Grit and sand clung to her clothes. Any spots of exposed skin featured myriads of cuts and scratches. Black rings of exhaustion lined her eyes, and her clothing looked like it had been mangled in a meat grinder.

The woman picked up a chart attached to the end of his bed and idly flipped through its pages. Click.

“Who are you?” he finally asked her.

She flapped the pages back up front and tossed the chart onto the foot of his bed. He watched but was too weak to protest. With delay, he registered that he couldn’t even feel it when the clipboard landed on his legs.

“I’m Kim. Here because we need you,” she said. Her words rolled out and sounded even more tired than she looked. Her eyes had a dull sheen, like she hadn’t slept in days or had taken some drugs, or practically had only caffeine in her veins.

Thump.

The white box on the table thumped again. It had moved half an inch. Although he had only seen it from the corner of his eye, he could have sworn that its walls had bent outwards when something thumped inside of it. Like there was a small animal trapped within.

“What’s in that box?” he asked. He lifted fingers, attached to a drip and some cables. Feeble, trembling softly as he tried to point at the gift box.

“Don’t worry about it; it’s got nothin’ to do with you. Or, well, maybe it doesn’t need to have anything to do with you,” she said.

“Okay,” he said. He had heard the threat implied in there.

He blinked—hard. Blinked again. Blinked so hard that it became painful.

The edges of his vision lost their blurriness. The fuzzy edges on everything straightened out—turned sharp. The clouds cleared from his memories.

His name was Gabriel. Gabriel understood his place in the world again. More powerful than his current state of being revealed. Even though his body had begun to betray him, he contained power beyond what normal mortal man could comprehend. More powerful than most of the wretches working in this hospital, or living in this pathetic city all around them.

A living god.

Or so he believed. Click.

“Cut the shit. What do you think you need? What do you hope to get from me?” Gabriel asked. Ordered. Every word he spoke hurt, as if each syllable rasped over his soft insides like sand paper.

“You don’t know us, but you may know Kevin,” Kim said. She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. The plastic squeaked, the metal creaked.

Thump.

The box had moved closer yet again. Like something inside of it was trying to get closer.

“Don’t mind it. If you get upset, it gets more violent,” she commented.

They both peeled their eyes off of the innocuous white box of terror and their gazes met.

Click. Whirr.

Gabriel pondered for a second and then sneered. He knew Kevin, alright. Michael’s protege and worst nemesis.

The person who was going to bring everything down.

“We need to find him, help him return from the House,” she said.

Gabriel chuckled. The chuckle transformed into coughing after a few labored revolutions of the laugh, leading to him hacking and wheezing.

His body had truly reached its end, but he refused to let go. Two hundred years was a long time.

Once he had gathered himself and felt her burning stare on himself, he asked, “How long’s that motherfucker been in there?”

“Three months,” she replied.

Gabriel closed his eyes and mulled it over. Bad number.

THUMP.

He ignored it. Probably just a baby of an entity inside that box.

It was more important to figure out what he was dealing with here.

Click.

How he could kill this woman.

Gabriel uttered a string of profanities; with no power in it because of his failing lungs, but more than enough zeal to express his disgust. She listened to his every odious word. He gave it a rest after a solid half a minute of swearing.

Click. Whirr.

“Fuck him,” he finally concluded. “Can rot in that hellish Otherworld for all I care.”

“No,” Kim said. Resolute, like a cliff standing defiantly against the ocean’s waves.

“No?”

“No,” she repeated. The word crashed like thunder. It fed into a headache growing behind Gabriel’s forehead. She added, “Once he’s out of the House, he can finish his transformation.”

Gabriel glared at her. His eyes simmered with rage and his tear ducts burned, not capable of producing the salty fluid anymore. His flesh was weak. But he still had other means. Other power. Power this woman failed to notice.

She had made a mistake by coming here like this.

THUMP.

He couldn’t be sure about the white box, though. He pondered if he was underestimating it.

Resigned to his fate here, he knew this was going to be a brutal battle. Not quite as uneven as his current state looked.

“Falmaghorr,” he whispered. So feebly that it sounded like nonsense, or like he was having a stroke.

“What?” Kim asked.

Click.

“Nevermind,” he sighed. Either she was stupid or he had snuck that past her. “You know, right? That when he completes that damned transformation, the world ends?” he asked her.

“And a new one is born,” Kim spoke with reverence, incessantly staring into Gabriel’s eyes. Into his soul.

She was convinced. Had chosen a side in this war. Her words just now—a declaration. A war cry, delivered with the eerie calmness that only zealots can produce.

“For every dream that is dying, a new world is born,” Gabriel mused, reciting the old poem that his kind were wont to sing. He broke out into another chuckle, dry and sardonic. Erupting into coughs at the tail end once more.

THUMP.

Kim pulled a small silver box from her jacket pocket and opened it to show him something inside of it. A steel syringe that looked like it came from a different age. Weathered, old, scratched.

“You came for my blood?” he asked. “Ridiculous. You could have just—you didn’t need me to be awake for—”

He stopped choking on those words. It dawned on him.

Blood of a dying hierophant—a potent reagent. One with powerful symbolic tension. And like all things magick, one where the symbolic tension lies in just how literal it was.

“Can’t beat the reaper,” he sighed. “Nobody beats the reaper. All you do is entertain ‘im. And hope you get off easy when it’s time to punch your final card.”

Kim took the syringe into her hands, slipped her fingers into its metal loops, but rested the awful thing on her lap. Waited. She was waiting for the moment during which he died. Had she put something into his IV drip to slowly kill him? Was she going to smother him with a pillow?

“Nice speech, asshole. You’ve lived way past your expiration date. After all you’ve done—after all the things you’ve gone and done to people—I think you’re getting off easy. Real easy.”

“Yeah? How you gonna do me in, bitch?”

Click.

Kim’s tired face contorted. With painful slowness, accentuated by the exhaustion written all over her visage, she formed a wide smile.

Click. Whirr.

“I ain’t gonna do a damned thing. Your time’s up, you Rasputin son of a bitch. I have a friend who—well, let’s just say she just knows these things. You’re about to punch your final card—right about now.”

She checked her wristwatch—whether it was out of genuine curiosity or to emphasize her words did not matter. Gabriel felt the weight of time crushing down on him. In his mind, the clock’s arms ticked away, second by second, ever closer to his doom.

The door to the room opened and both their heads turned to behold the new arrival. Kim had whisked the syringe away into hiding, holding it inside her jacket, her entire fist buried in there in an uncomfortable position.

A nurse entered and walked around the bed. She placed a cup of water on the table next to Gabriel. In contrast to the bright and happy colors of her scrubs, the nurse’s head was just a cloud of shadows and tentacles. Despite her name tag identifying her as Beverly Winters, the demon’s name was Falmaghorr.

Kim couldn’t see it. Its power over human minds held true; the entity looked like a normal nurse to her. She even smiled at Gabriel’s servant before Falmaghorr left the room and left them alone again. He sensed his demonic servant’s presence hovering just outside, waiting for him to summon it to battle inside this tiny room.

To think that he, who had seen the rise and fall of empires, would be fighting for his life in such a tiny, sterile room.

Click.

He had no intention of letting this harlot easily take his blood.

“In one last act of defiance against nature, he hopes to transform into a woman,” Gabriel theorized. “Because only a woman can give birth, and only a woman can birth a new world. Is that the idea?”

Kim said nothing. She checked her wristwatch again. Pulled out the syringe.

“You’re out of your fucking minds,” he growled. He suppressed the urge to cough that came with it.

“Time to go, you old bastard.”

“Now,” he uttered, oozing with contempt.

The room’s door burst open and Falmaghorr stomped inside.

The white box exploded. A black fog roiled out from it, churning like oil on water, spreading like a flood, engulfing everything in a flash, continuing to gush out of what seemed to be a bottomless pit inside that tiny white box.

Not a cake emerged from it, but mouths. Eyes. Things that cackled, and gibbered, and gnashed their tiny little teeth. Falmaghorr was consumed within seconds, blood spraying all over the place.

Kim was bathed in blood and gore from the entity’s body being ripped to shreds, but leaning over Gabriel. He felt the needle only after it had ruptured the skin.

Even through the cacophony of alien voices, he could hear the sounds of the machines.

Click. Whirr.

Blood being drained. Kim getting one step closer to breaking the House wide open.

Gabriel screamed.

Even gods can die.

—Submitted by Wratts

#spoospasu #spookyspaghettisundae #horror #short story #writing #my writing #literature #spooky #fiction #submission #real magick #kevin #kim #gabriel #strange box #what's in the box #hospital #helplessness #god #kill a god #power #magick #ascension #ritual #spell #demon #entity #pandemonium #evil #reagent

[saint-of-los-angeles]

Don’t Go Away Mad

WOW HERE IT IS, THE LONGEST FIC I HAVE DONE. This fic was done with a coauthor, the beautiful, wonderful, talented @merryy-go-round. I’m seriously like proud of this fic and I know she is too. THANK YOU GIRL, I LOVE YOU!!!

Summery: “Tommy was dying, this had to be what death felt like. There was no other way to describe the feeling of impending doom that he was being crushed under at hearing those words. Those horrible words, uttered from a total fucking stranger’s mouth. Nikki was dead, he was gone forever, he would never look into his green eyes again.”

Another take on Nikki’s overdose and the impact it has on Tommy.

Warnings: Drug use, Overdose, general sadness. But y’all know I dont do sad endings.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx/ Tommy Lee

TAGGING A FEW PEOPLE I THINK MAY LIKE. (If you dont want tagged, feel free to message and tell me, I wont be offended I swear) @malibubarbievince @tommyysixx @the--blackdahlia @stellalux-universe @devil-shouted @sixx-tommy-roger-john @motherfucker-oftheyear @jenerallymarvelous @fan-with-issues

After a grueling press release for their upcoming album, Tommy was fucking drained, and all he wanted to do was go home, to Nikki’s, and soak up the last bits of peace before their upcoming tour began. Tommy lived for the moments where he could have the older man all to himself, when he could take the time to just study the bassist’s face and bask in the fact that he was his. Although the deeper Nikki sunk into his love affair with his liquid mistress, the farther in between these moments became.

Tommy tried so, so hard not to dwell on it, to just be happy with the time he did get with Nikki. Something was better than nothing right? They would be out of there in just a matter of minutes, if Vince would just stop fucking talking for once, and Tommy would be able to spend his night catching up on some much needed alone time with Nikki.

They didn’t have anywhere that they had to be until after Christmas day. This means Tommy gets to spend three whole days with his boyfriend, uninterrupted, which was a rare fucking feat in the crazy lives they lived. Tommy wondered if he should have the driver make a detour to stop by Nikki’s favorite restaurant to brighten his mood. He was getting way too fucking skinny, these days. Or maybe they could go to that new music store that the older man had mentioned a few weeks ago, anything, really to put a smile on Nikki’s face was fucking worth it to Tommy, a smile that he had put there, as compared to the one he gets when he’s melting down his liquid gold in a dirty spoon.

As he was mentally constructing up the perfect evening in his head, he was snapped out of his daydreaming by a rather loud sigh that rolled out from between the bassist’s lips. Nikki looked beyond impatient, and beyond ready for this press conference to just fucking end already, and to everyone else, it may look like Nikki was just ready to finally relax and get some fucking rest.  But Tommy wasn’t everyone else, and he felt the hope that he had in place for the ‘perfect night’ ahead of them extinguish like a match on a windy day.

Nikki could care less about getting out of here to spend time with Tommy, Nikki just wanted to get high.

Both men could feel the tension developing in their relationship around the time that the older man met his love affair in the form of heroin, and it was taking a toll on both of them. Before heroin, Tommy never really thought to worry about Nikki’s intake of illegal substances, because duh. Rockstars, remember?

Tommy had always previously seen the bassist as indestructible when it came to drugs. Nikki knew how to handle himself and had everything under perfect control, he had promised Tommy that he knew what he was doing and would never do anything to leave Tommy all alone. When Tommy thinks back to how fucking naive he was to think that anyone is above addiction, he has to laugh at himself. The drummer was always a little too optimistic, and maybe he still is.

Too optimistic about his relationship being perfectly normal, and healthy, and thinking things will work out on their own. Too optimistic, too stupid to realize that he has lost the Nikki that he fell so hard for, the Nikki that could look into his eyes and tell him he loved him more than anything and mean it. As much as Tommy knew he was living in a world of denial, he hoped that tonight, for just one night he could just close his eyes and pretend that he was still the most important thing in Nikki’s life.  

Nikki had been visibly irritated throughout the entire conference and Tommy barely refrained from rolling his eyes at the sight of Nikki’s clenched jaw and bouncing leg. He knew that look, he had seen it too many times over the past few months. Nikki just wanted to get the fuck out of there, so he could shoot up, and what else was new?

What had started out as yet another recreational drug to add to the long fucking list of drugs that Crue did on a daily basis, had turned into something much more sinister for the bassist, and Tommy couldnt even put a pinpoint to the moment that the drug had stolen his boyfriend, the love of his life, away from him. Maybe it was easier to ignore the alarming amount of track marks, and the always present slur in the man’s voice than to face the fact that the man he loved more than anything was a fucking junkie, and on his way to an early grave.

Before heroin, Nikki could sit and listen to Tommy ramble for hours about drum fills, how annoying his hair was being that day, how much he missed his parents, anything really. He’d sit there and listen to Tommy with a smile on his face and this look in his eyes like there was absolutely nowhere else he’d rather be.

These days, however, Tommy found himself fighting to be the center of attention for more than just a few minutes. Nikki had found a new subject of affection, and from the looks of it, the bassist probably hasn’t shot up since before they got to the conference building, which was over 4 hours ago.

As the press conference finally came to a close, thanks for finally shutting up Vince, Tommy frowned as he studied his boyfriend a little more closely. He could see the sheen of sweat that coated Nikki’s face as the bassist stood and then turned to shoot him a quick, almost nervous glance. It was the look that Tommy had seen 100 times, it was nerves mixed with guilt and it always meant that Tommy wasn't going to like what Nikki had to say.

“Hey babe, I’m gonna head out. Slash invited me out to this thing and you said you wanted to go home and crash so...” He trailed off, shrugging his shoulders and avoiding eye contact at all cost. Tommy scoffed loudly causing Nikki to shoot him a surprised glance.

Tommy rarely objected to these things, knowing it was a losing battle anyway, and being too afraid to send the older man scattering away to a hiding spot that he would eventually die in, but something about Nikki’s tone, as if he expected Tommy to just be totally fine with being ditched had Tommy unable to bite his tongue this time.

“Yeah, as in go home and crash with you,” Tommy began as he stood, stepping in front of the exit to prevent the other man from leaving. “My boyfriend who hasn’t spoken more than ten sentences to me today. Seriously you can’t go one fucking night with choosing me over shooting that fucking poison into your neck, Nik?” Tommy’s sharp tone surprised even himself, as stared down into the slightly shorter man’s eyes.

All of the feelings of fear, frustration and anger that Tommy had been suppressing for months seemed to come to the surface and it surprised him as much as it surprised Nikki. The older man’s eyes reflected the hurt and confusion at his words, who then was shushing him when he noticed the stares from various bystanders who were still lingering around the large room.

Tommy continued speaking without bothering to lower his voice. “What Nikki? Don’t want everyone to think you’re some sort of junkie?” The words felt cruel coming out of his mouth and he almost instantly felt sick to his stomach saying the word “junkie” to Nikki, but he couldn’t back down now. He watched the other man still at his words and watched as his expression shifted from confused to pissed.

“You know what Tommy, fuck you. I don’t need your fucking permission. Just fuck off.” The bassist was sneering at Tommy as he twirled around to leave.

“Hey, we aren’t done with this!” Tommy started as he reached to grab Nikki’s shoulder to spin him around to face the drummer’s fiery eyes once again. Tommy was a little shocked over his own actions, where did this wave of anger come from? They had small arguments all the time, they were both passionate, headstrong people, but things never escalated to the point where things were unmendable. If Tommy stopped now things would go back to how they were, and they would just ignore that this ever happened. But no, fuck that, Tommy was upset, he had been for fucking months and he had held it in for as long as he could, and now that he had let a little out, he couldnt seem to reel in his emotions.

Nikki looked just as shocked as Tommy did, but underneath his bewildered expression at the treatment he was receiving from his usually happy and carefree boyfriend, was the desperation of an addict that just wanted to fucking shoot up already, and Tommy was preventing that.

“Yes we fucking are Tommy, I’m done with this conversation, Slash is waiting for me, I’ll see you later.” Tommy could hear the barely restrained anger bubbling under Nikki’s words and something about that irked him to no end. How dare Nikki be upset, when he’s the one leaving Tommy to go home alone for the thousandth fucking time, so that he can go inject some poison into his veins?

“Nikki, if you fucking leave, don’t expect me to be there when you get home.” The words felt foreign and WRONG on Tommy’s lips. Part of him wanted to immediately retract the statement and hug Nikki, because back when Nikki and him had first admitted their feelings, Nikki had admitted in a moment of pure trust and love that Tommy leaving him was always his worst fear. Tommy always promised him that nothing he could do would ever push him away. But Tommy was so angry, and above anything else, he was hurt that Nikki would put some amber liquid in a needle above him,  who had always been there for him, even when the bassist was terrified of love and tried pushing him away.

"I swear if you leave then I am done with this shit. I can’t watch you do this anymore. You are killing yourself, you do realize that right? I mean, fuck Nikki, I don’t know if I would have fallen in love with you if you were this person when we met.”

Tommy watched as Nikki’s shocked expression turned into pure hurt for a split second, before morphing into the most venomous sneer Tommy had ever seen from Nikki. He knew before the words were out of his mouth that he had gone too far. Nikki had barely been controlling his anger before, but at the harsh words it was as if a switch was flipped.

His loving boyfriend was nowhere to be found. Tommy had never felt afraid of Nikki before, but the look of pure disbelief and fear mixed with anger and confusion was enough to scare him. Tommy could tell that Nikki had completely shut down at this point, and could see the tremors the man was succumbing to, whether it was from the need for drugs, or from holding back his anger, he didn’t know.

Tommy would prefer a punch straight to the face rather than see the pain that he caused on the elder’s features, it would be substantially less painful.

Even Mick, who had been sitting awkwardly on one of the plush couches that the pair had just been occupying even looked shocked at the explosion that seemed to come from nowhere.

Tommy was about to speak again, the overwhelming feelings of guilt and regret immediately replacing the feelings of anger. He was just hurt, and he wanted to just tell Nikki that, how he felt like sometimes he couldn’t fucking breathe when he thought about Nikki out there shooting up a substance that could end his life one day, but Nikki beat him to it.

“You know what, you’re right, Tom. I have changed, and maybe I’m tired of having a boyfriend who just bitches about everything I do instead of having any fucking fun. Thanks for the fucking reality check, babe.” Nikki all but ground out with eyes hardening more and more, the more he spoke. “If you’ll excuse me, I have important business to tend to. You know how us junkies are.” Tommy could barely hear the crack in the older man’s voice that caused his heart to ache, and all he wanted to do was just take it back.

Before Tommy could get his mouth to connect with his brain Nikki was already storming off in the direction of the exit. Using his shoulder to push past the stunned drummer, roughly jolting him to the side.

Mick stared in silence at the youngest member of the band, when Vince decided that he finally wanted to grace the rest of them with his presence, all smiles as he bounded over to Tommy, throwing a casual arm around his shoulder. “Guess we can ditch this place, yeah? Dude, where’s Nikki?”

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After a quiet explanation of the bassist’s whereabouts, Tommy allowed himself to be drug along to Vince’s favorite strip club, and honestly he was grateful for the distraction. He had never been so appreciative of Mick’s non-prying nature and Vince’s absolute inability to worry about anything that doesn’t directly affect his life. If he had gone to his empty apartment he was sure he would be driven mad by the constant replay of the look of betrayal and hurt on Nikki’s face in his mind. So here he sits with his fifth- no sixth?- whiskey sour and he wants more than anything to press rewind and take everything back.

Now that he had calmed down and had time to process what the fuck had happened, and the words exchanged, he was left with such intense feelings of self loathing that he was sure that he would collapse under the pressure if not for the barstool he was currently sat on. Why did he snap at Nikki like that?

Despite Nikki’s shitty attitude and distant nature lately, he knew deep down that Nikki was really sick, and he had always been bad at expressing love in relationships, why should this relationship be any different? Tommy wanted to help Nikki through his issues, not make them worse.

Tommy had already started making plans to apologize to Nikki as soon as possible when his world suddenly changed forever. He didn’t process the words when he heard them, he just blankly looked up to stare at these three dudes talking amongst themselves, arms waving dramatically in what appeared to be disbelief.

“Dude, did you hear?”

“Nikki Sixx overdosed on smack dude, he was hanging out with Slash from Guns and Roses, he’s the one who found him.”

“Shut up”

“I swear, dude, so long Motley Crue, huh? Fucking sucks, I loved them.”

No.

Nikki didn’t overdose, not even in Tommy’s worst fucking nightmares did Nikki overdose. Nikki swore he’d never leave him, swore he had it under control. How the fuck did these guys know Nikki was with Slash tonight? This wasn’t true, this couldn’t be fucking true, but everything in Tommy’s gut was telling him it was.

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the FUCK?

Tommy was dying, this had to be what death felt like. There was no other way to describe the feeling of impending doom that he was being crushed under at hearing those words. Those horrible words, uttered from a total fucking stranger’s mouth. Nikki was dead, he was gone forever, he would never look into his green eyes again, and what was the last thing that Tommy had even said to Nikki? It sure as hell wasn’t ‘I love you’ or anything that would have told the bassist that he was Tommy’s entire universe, because he was goddamnit.

No, his last words were spoken in rage and Tommy didn’t think he could handle this much, he was choking, he was dying, but death would be preferable at this point, because his options were either die, or live a life without Nikki.

Not even feeling or acknowledging the tears on his cheeks that fell from his puffy eyes, Tommy brought a hand up and put it over his chest, feeling his heart pump pump pumping under his fingertips and let out what could only be described as a primal wail.

He willed his heart to fall still under his fingers because nothing could be worse than this, nothing could be worse than this raw, gnawing pain that seemed to start in his chest and overtake his whole being. He could feel Vince’s hand on his shoulder, but the touch of comfort only burned him. He didn’t want the comfort, he didn’t want to feel comfort in a world where Nikki no longer existed.

Vince was definitely yelling his name now, lightly smacking his cheek in a sorry attempt to get him to snap out of the trance he had fallen in, but Tommy felt like he was underwater. Everything was coming out muffled, his ears felt stuffed full and most of all he felt like he was drowning, suffocating under the weight of the information he had just learned from these total fucking strangers.

Tommy forced himself to make eye contact with his lead singer, taking in the unshed tears in the blonde’s eyes that were overflowing with a mixture of grief for his late bandmate, and overwhelming concern for the one he left behind.

He wanted to talk to Vince, to lie and tell him that he was okay but he needed to go process this information alone, but he just couldn't bring his brain to form a coherent lie. He opened his mouth to speak, and all that came out were strangled sobs as he reached up to grab fistfuls of his own hair, tugging on the dark locks out of pure desperation. He felt Vince’s hands under his armpits, and he realized he must have been falling at some point, struggling to keep his own feet underneath him, but it was like all his body even knew how to do in this moment was cry.

“Tommy- Jesus Christ man- I don’t- I’m so fucking sorry- I…” Vince looked absolutely lost, completely unsure what to say, and wrecked if Tommy was being honest, and despite really wanting to comfort his friend of so many years, because Vince had lost Nikki too, Tommy did the only thing he physically could at the moment- he told Vince the truth.

“I- I wish I was fucking dead too, Vin- I can’t…”

Tommy regretted allowing that feeling to slip past his lips immediately as he looked into the widening eyes of his frontman, and as Vince opened his lips to respond, Tommy was turning and sprinting out of the club, shoving past anyone in his way. He could vaguely hear Vince yelling his name behind him and the fading sound of Vince’s boots pounding behind him.

Tommy was gratefu thatl the adrenaline and his longer legs could get him the fuck out of there, away from Vince’s worried eyes, away from those strangers who knew that his boyfriend was dead before he even did, and away from that nightmare of a club.

He knew he’d never be able to step foot in that place ever again.

—-

Tommy wasn’t sure how he even made it to Nikki’s house, honestly. Everything leading up to this moment was a blur in time, making Tommy question how long it had even been since he heard the devastating news.

Not that it mattered, time had no meaning to the drummer anymore.

Raising his hand to knock on the door, the younger man stopped himself and let out a sob at the realization that there was no fucking point in knocking. No one lived here anymore.

So Tommy took out his spare key instead, the metal seemingly burning in his hands as he opened the door to the house he had entered so many times, but now that would never be the same.

There would be no more late night conversations in this house, no more early morning make out sessions- morning breath and all. No more hiding out in Nikki’s music room, writing lyrics and banging out drum fills until the sun rose through the tall windows of Nikki’s second story. No more pathetic attempts at surprising Nikki with brunch- only to set off every single fire alarm the bassist had in the house. No more smiling, no more laughter, no more making love.

Not in this house and not anywhere in the drummer’s life, ever again.

Tears were giving way to anger at this point. Anger at himself for not just flushing all of Nikki’s shit, anger at Nikki for not just coming home with him tonight, and anger at the universe for taking the best thing in Tommy’s life and keeping it somewhere where he would never be able to reach.

That anger needed an outlet, and that outlet came in the form of absolutely destroying anything that the drummer could get his hands on. Everything pissed him off to look at. Everything in this house was just a horrible reminder of what he had lost and in that moment, Tommy wanted everything to feel just as wrecked as he did.

Ignoring the sting in his hands as he threw various vases, records, and other breakable objects against the walls, Tommy was oblivious to the tears that flowed from his eyes as his fist made contact with the TV screen and his foot kicked a sizable hole in his late boyfriend’s drywall.

Tommy’s chest was heaving with the struggle to take in air as he knelt on the floor in the wreckage he had created. Nikki’s place was unrecognizable, and he could feel his knees stinging from the sharp prick of the broken glass he was kneeling in- and where the fuck did that come from, anyway?

Tommy could finally see the scene around him, as his body had run out of tears. The tears had dried up, his body had no more to give, but the sobs remained, choking him in a vice like grip around his throat, and all Tommy could think was he wished that these sobs could actually choke him to death, so he could see Nikki and tell him that he loved him, and that he didn’t mean a goddamn word he said when they had all those stupid fucking fights.

As Tommy continued to survey the scene around him, he noticed a baggie poking out from underneath Nikki’s couch, and he knew instantly what that baggie contained.

Heroin was never his drug of choice, he preferred the euphoric burst of energy and unbridled emotions that cocaine gave him. Tommy loved feeling emotions, everything he felt, he felt in excess, it had always been that way, so the synthetic effects of cocaine on his emotions were always a good time to the drummer.

At first, Tommy could feel nothing but all encompassing anger surging through his veins the longer he looked at the corner of that baggie, because that evil shit took his Nikki away, but the more Tommy thought about it, the more he realized that Nikki took those drugs because they numbed him, and there was nothing on this Earth that Tommy wanted more than for this pain to go away.

It was as if his body was on autopilot, and he was now standing with the small bag clenched in his fist, relishing in the sting of his fingernails digging into his palm. He shuddered as his choking sobs dwindled down to hiccups. What was the point of life without Nikki anyways? How the fuck would he ever feel joy again after this night? Tommy just wanted for everything to just stop.

Tommy had only done this devil drug once before, the curiosity surrounding the drug turned into an impulse decision one late night a few months prior, in this very house, with the very man he was mourning.

Tommy was laying on Nikki’s bed, watching as the bassist started to nod off from the drugs injected only moments ago. Tommy frowned at the sight of the bloody needle now laying loosely in the man’s open fist, the object mesmerized the drummer. That tiny object brought his boyfriend so much pleasure, he was almost jealous.

“What does it feel like?” The younger man asked, not for the first time. He was always curious, the euphoric look on Nikki’s face after shooting up had always seemed to outdo any other drug that he subjected himself to, and Tommy just wanted to know what the hype was about.

“You wanna find out?” Nikki had murmured back, his response slightly delayed as his cloudy mind processed the other man’s words. Even in his hazy state, it took the bassist by surprise when Tommy stated that he did, in fact, want to shoot up.

Tommy didn’t remember much from that night aside from Nikki’s still hands calming his shaking arm, nerve’s wracking his lanky frame as the older man plunged the liquid poison into his veins.

He also remembered Nikki’s hands rubbing up and down his back, holding his hair back, and Nikki’s voice soothing him as he emptied his stomach into the toilet for what must have been the 5th time that night.

After that night Tommy had sworn to never use heroin again. He didn’t like the nausea or the feeling of being numb. He didn’t understand why Nikki would ever want to feel so empty all of the time, but right now, it seemed like Tommy’s only way out of this nightmare.

With shaking hands Tommy moved to the closet where he knew Nikkis kept his rigs and clean needles. With a pang in his chest he wondered if he should have fought harder to stop his boyfriend from destroying himself, if as angry as he had been with Nikki this whole time, if this was actually his fault all along. If he could have saved the bassist from himself after all, if he had just flushed his shit and forced him into rehab.

The thought of that was too painful to bear.

Having watched Nikki do this so many times Tommy felt almost proud of himself in a sick way for knowing exactly how to do this. Taking the now prepared syringe over to Nikki’s well worn in couch he sat on the floor with his back resting against the couch, and took a deep breath. A quick, borderline hysterical laugh escaped his lips as he realized he was really going to do this.

He was such a fucking hypocrite.

For the first time in his life, Tommy relished in the pain that came from prick of the needle instead of cringing away from it, because it was the first time since hearing the news that Tommy felt anything besides the pain of losing Nikki.

As he pushed the plunger down Tommy relished in the warm escape, taking note of the lack of nausea he felt this time.

‘Hey maybe Nikki was right, it does go away.’ Tommy’s hand fell away loosely and his head lolled forward as the drugs coursed through his veins, and he felt his overwhelming emotional pain ebb away into an undeniable bliss.

The last coherent thought that Tommy had before succumbing to the warm darkness around him was of piercing green eyes and long black hair.

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Nikki’s first thoughts upon waking up in the hospital were of Tommy. Of course they were, he loved that boy, and he had said horrible fucking things to him, he missed him, he needed him.

He felt alone for the first time since Tommy and he had made themselves official.

He didn’t focus on anything the doctors were saying, didn’t listen to their cries of protest as he ripped  out his IV, feeling the blood dripping down to his wrist for the second time that day, to shove his way out of the hospital doors before anyone could keep him longer, preventing him from seeing the only thing that could really heal him at the moment. He wanted, no needed, to see Tommy to explain for himself what had happened, that it had been an accident, he never meant to leave him. He couldn’t imagine if the roles were reversed, and he was under the impression that the love of his life had died without him and with a needle in his arm.

The thought made him sick.

His first thought was to go straight to Tommy’s place, but when he arrived, his heart dropped when he saw that the other man’s car was nowhere to be found. Shaking his head in defeat, he used his key to enter anyway, disappointed but not surprised when he found the apartment empty and dark. Rushing into the kitchen, he picked up Tommy’s phone and dialed his own phone number, slamming the phone down in frustration when he hit his own voicemail.

Nikki took a deep breath and dialed Vince’s number, hoping that the singer might know the whereabouts of his missing boyfriend.

Tommy didn’t know it, but Nikki had asked Vince several times in rare moments of drunken vulnerability to always watch after Tommy if he couldn't, and he prayed that the singer had held up his promise that he would.

“Tommy! Jesus fuck, man, thank god you’re okay.” That was not what Nikki had hoped to hear, and the crack in Vince’s intensely relieved voice did nothing to sooth the burning pit in his stomach when he learned that no- Tommy wasn’t with Vince, and he seemed pretty fucking worried about the drummer.

“Listen, Tommy, it was a big fucking misunderstanding. Just stay there and I’m gonna come over there right now and we can go to the hospital-” Nikki couldn't listen to anymore of this, and cut the other man off before he could continue.

“Wait up, Vince, it’s me.” Shocked silence met Nikki’s ear in reply, and god dammit Vince, you choose now to shut up?

“It’s Nikki, Vin. I’m trying to find Tommy, where the fuck is he? Why wouldn’t he be okay?” The bassist could hear the desperation in his own voice as he spoke, and willed Vince to open his fucking mouth because one more minute of not knowing where his scared, hurting boyfriend was was probably going to kill him and-

“Nikki? Oh god, you fucking idiot, it’s so good to hear your voice. I don't know what to do, Nik, Tommy lost his shit on me when he heard you were dead, and has been missing ever since. I’ve never seen him like that, he kept talking all this nonsense about wanting to die too, he ran and he was too fucking fast that long legged motherfucker-” Nikki slammed the phone down back onto it’s base not even bothering to respond as sprinted out the front door and hailed the first taxi that came by, spewing out the address to his home in Van Nuys. He hoped that he would find Tommy at the place that held the majority of their memories.

He also hoped he didn’t fucking puke on the way there, because the thought of Tommy running away after finding out his boyfriend was dead and talking about wanting to join him made Nikki’s stomach lurch more than his own overdose ever could.

Upon arriving at his house, he knew that something was off when he noticed that his front door was unlocked. Now on high alert he walked slowly through the threshold and paused, shocked at the sight in front of him.

The house was absolutely trashed. Not in a ‘party that got too out of hand’ way though, no this was done with intent. Before he could dwell too much on the state of his place he noticed a figure on his couch and the image before him would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Nikki swore his heart stopped for the second time that day upon seeing his boyfriend slumped against the couch, needle sticking out of his arm with blood dried all the way down to his wrist, looking all but dead with his skin a shade paler than normal, and his dark hair falling in front of his face.

Nikki wanted to move, wanted to go shake shake shake Tommy until he woke up, until he saw those beautiful brown eyes that he never failed to get lost in, but his feet were glued to the floor.

This was his fucking fault.

He chose to blow the love of his fucking life off for fucking heroin, continued to do so for fucking months, got himself killed, and wouldn’t it be so fucking ironic if Nikki was given a second chance at life, only to find Tommy dead from a drug overdose?

It was like the universe knew that the only thing worse to Nikki than being dead, is not having Tommy, and it wasn’t hesitating to throw that terrifying piece of information right into Nikki’s face.

Begging his feet to move, his body finally listened to his brain as he stumbled towards Tommy, falling forward onto his hands and knees to crawl himself towards the drummer, fear still knotting up his gut.

His fingers itched to touch Tommy, to move the hair out of his face, feel his neck for a pulse, do something, ANYTHING. It took his mind a few seconds to convince his body to move, and Nikki sobbed in relief when his fingertips came into contact with a warm, very much alive cheek.

Suddenly feeling as if he had control of his body again, Nikki was pulling the needle out of his boyfriend's arm gently, as if moving too quickly could harm the drummer despite his unconscious state. Looking at the drummer's slack face had hot, fat tears running down the older man's face for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Pulling Tommy into his arms, feeling the familiar weight that he had held in his embrace for so many nights was almost too much for Nikki. His own trauma that he had endured that night, as well as looking at the pain that he had caused the love of his life made holding tears in impossible. He made no effort to hold back his sobs as he sniffled, and felt concern bubble up when Tommy let out no acknowledgment of his presence other than a soft grunt that could have easily been missed if the bassist hadn't been so hyper aware of everything involving his boyfriend at the moment.

Tommy hated smack, Nikki knew that. He didn't like the way smack made him feel and he didn't like that it took Nikki away from him, and the needle laying a few feet away where Nikki had tossed it and the blood staining Tommy's arm was a horrible reminder that he did this to Tommy.

Nikki knew he should move Tommy off of the filthy ground, get him out of this mess of debris and broken glass, but for the moment he was just going to hold him, and bury his face in his hair to dry the tears off of his cheeks. Inhaling with a small smile at the pleasant smell that wafted from the drummer’s hair, Nikki pushed his face a little deeper into it to try to get more, as if the smell could take away the absolute shitshow that was going on around him.

Tommy had just gotten a new shampoo recently, and Nikki remembered how much Tommy's eyes had lit up when Nikki commented on it, as if he couldn't believe that the bassist had noticed. Which was fair, considering he barely noticed anything other than when his smack supply was getting low these days.

So Nikki sat there, holding his boyfriend and praying- yes praying- that wherever Tommy was in his heroin induced haze he knew that he wasn't alone.

That Nikki was here, he didn't leave him all alone.

That despite Nikki's harsh words and distant attitude lately, he fucking loved him, and he was so, so sorry. As he sat there holding the younger boy, he finally had the chance to survey the destruction around them. He couldn’t picture his loving and kind Tommy possessing enough anger to cause this big of a mess. His eyes widened as he noticed that among the shattered whiskey bottles and- jesus, was that his record collection?- sat the collection of, now broken, awards that Motley had won over the years.

Could Tommy really love Nikki so much that the news of his ‘death’ could cause this much of a reaction?

Reaching down to cup the drummers lax face in his hand Nikki felt his tears return as he realized that his death would have an effect on his sweet boy. This had to end, because while Nikki could live with killing himself, at least this version of himself, he knew there was no part of him in this life or the afterlife that could live with killing Tommy.

As badly as Nikki’s fingers itched to go find whatever smack he had left in the house and shoot it to bury this overwhelming guilt at seeing his boyfriend passed out from a drug he despised in the middle of all this wreckage, instead Nikki was standing, picking up his lover’s lank form in his arms to make his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

Carrying Tommy proved to be harder than anticipated because despite the drummer’s naturally skinny form, Nikki’s own body had gotten dangerously thin these days due to his diet which consisted entirely of drugs.

Nevertheless, Nikki made it up the stairs on sheer willpower alone- he was NOT letting Tommy sleep in that fucking wreckage. Laying Tommy on top of the covers as gently as he could, supporting his boyfriend’s lulling head, Nikki wanted to cry at just how much Tommy looked like he was just sleeping.

So peaceful. But of course he was peaceful. Tommy was in a world where his boyfriend was alive, hadn’t overdosed on heroin, hadn’t selfishly chose drugs over someone he claimed to love every single fucking day.

Nikki lay down beside Tommy, gently rolling Tommy over so he could spoon him from behind, holding him tightly to his chest just like he did every night when he slept.

Nikki let his tears fall, hoping and praying that when Tommy woke up, he would recognize the familiarity of their position, and recognize the arms that held him like this.

Nikki pressed a kiss into Tommy’s hair on the back of his head, trying desperatly to keep his tired eyelids open as he listened to his boyfriend’s breathing, wondering how the fuck he was going to fix this, how he was going to remedy this situation when he didn’t even deserve Tommy in the first place.

——-

When Tommy’s eyes blearily opened hours later, the first thing that registered was- fuck his head hurt. The second thing that registered was the flood of overwhelming emotions and the sting of hot tears when he remembered the events of the previous night. The third thing that registered that he was in Nikki’s bed and someone was behind him, holding on for dear life- but wait- he knew those arms and it couldn't be true-

Turning over in the tight hold the older man had on him, Tommy felt lightheaded as his eyes met the shimmering green ones that he had been chasing in his split second decision to shoot up Nikki’s remaining stash.

Nikki looked horrible, he was covered in a sheen of sweat that Tommy very clearly recognized as the withdrawal sweats, and his eyes were bloodshot from what looked like a combination of exhaustion and tears.

“I’m dead”. Tommy croaked out, because that was the only reasonable explanation. This had to be heaven, but fuck, who let heaven give him such a bad fucking migraine? Or maybe it was hell, and they let him wake up in Nikki’s arms, only to drag him away later. Tommy didn’t think he could survive that though, even in hell.

An appropriate punishment though, for allowing his boyfriend to die thinking Tommy didn’t want him around anymore.

Tommy watched Nikki’s face contort with the most pained expression he had ever seen from the bassist, and his breath caught when Nikki shook his head.

“You’re not dead, baby boy, and neither am I.”

Tommy couldn't speak, so he settled for just staring into Nikki’s eyes. His beautiful green eyes, that were always Tommy’s favorite part of Nikki. They looked so real and so alive, but Tommy was afraid to believe.

“They brought me back baby, the EMT’s brought me back. I’m… I’m so fucking sorry.”

From there it was all fists clenched into T-shirt’s, tears soaking into hair, sobs getting lost into shoulders and hurried kisses pressed against heated skin.

“This won’t happen again baby.. You.. you mean so much more to me than anything, Tommy, anything, and I swear I’m getting off of this shit for you.”

“I didn’t mean it Nik, not a goddamn fucking word-“

“Stop baby, you don't have to explain, I know. It was all me, I was an asshole, I put the thing that was gonna fucking kill me above the thing trying to save me, and I’m so sorry, I swear to fucking god Tommy, never again.”

Tommy pulled his head out of its hiding spot in Nikki’s shoulder, and one look at the bassist’s teary, but determined face let Tommy know that yeah, Nikki meant it. He was so used to Nikki’s lying face by now, the face he gets when he just tells Tommy what he wants to hear, and this isn’t it.

So Tommy thumbed away his boyfriend’s tears, feeling his own slip down his face as he pressed a desperate, longing kiss to Nikki’s lips, smiling as he felt them tremble as they pushed back with just as much desperation.

And just like that, Tommy could breathe again.

#nikki sixx x tommy lee #tommy lee x nikki sixx #tommy/nikki #Terrorcest

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Clover And Lace - Chapter 6

Happy Friday! I do hope you all are doing well. Me, I’m excited to be finishing up writing this series and I’m just as excited to share it with you all over the next 12 weeks or so. As always, thank you to @winterisakiller who has been more than valuable in the development of this series. 

For those who don’t know- Links to the prior chapters are in my Masterlist. If you can’t find it, give ‘kit’s masterlist’ a search. I do very much love to hear what you think. 

Rosemary let her head thump against the door when she heard his footsteps reach the bottom of the staircase. It took all her self control to hold her head up and not again thump it against the door as she listened to the sound of Steve’s footsteps go down the stairs. It was like as soon as the door closed behind him, her sanity returned and reality crashed down around her.

Tears welled in her eyes as she struggled to breath calmly. It felt like the walls were crashing down around her. He was everything she wanted and more. Tears dripped from her chin as a shaking hand reached up to touch her lips. They were soft and swollen still from the kisses they had shared. She was well and truly in over her head.

The sound of her phone vibrating in her purse finally drew her away from the door. At least she was lucky enough that Mrs. Jones hadn’t found her way up the stairs yet. She thought about ignoring it but she knew who it was calling.

Jillian had a special ring setting in her phone. It never had any sound regardless of what her phone was set to. Rather it just vibrated, starting strong and tapering off until nothing twice and that was it. Enough to get her attention without raising any red flags.

He would have known she left the house today and would be looking to know why. She didn’t really feel like getting into it with him. Yet if she didn’t answer he would worry for good reason. She moved around and hid not because she wanted to but because she had to.

It was better if she could never be tracked down. Within the underground world it was assumed that Julian was a sole operator. Rosemary herself was treated as a myth. Some people claimed to have seen her. Others claimed she didn’t actually exist. It was safer that way.

With a sigh she walked back to the now silent phone. It was still ringing inside the purse as she picked it up though the phone was now still and the screen was dark. Still she unlocked it and hit the call button and like magic a call was received from a cryptic contact labeled only as ‘J’.

“Hey.” Rosemary hated how defeated she sounded.

“You okay?” Julian seemed to pick up on the emotions in her voice right away and put the twenty questions on hold for a moment.

“Yeah. I’m just feeling… I don’t know.”

“Did something happen today? You went out.”

“Yeah. No. I don’t know?” Julian laughed at her confused and conflicted response but sobered quickly.

“You sound like you’ve been crying?”

“Yeah I have.”

“Did someone find you?” Julian was probably pacing the secure room that was behind his office right now. It was where he often went to when they actually talked on the phone. They mainly communicated by texts that were wiped within an hour of being read or the text program being closed.

“No one found me.” She reassured him. That was a fear that lived just as much in his mind as hers.

“Then what’s wrong?”

“I went to see a movie.” She admitted as if it was some dirty secret.

“And? Who did you go with?”

“Steve.”

“You shouldn’t even still be seeing him.” Julian scolds but she knows it is out of true concern for her well being.

“You don’t understand.” That was something she’d never told him before. “I’m always alone Julian. Always-”

“No you’re not. I’m always right here for-”

“No, Julian you’re not. You’re in the big city two hours away. And that’s the closest we’ve really been in the last five years. He’s kind and sweet.”

“And he could get you killed.” Julian heaved a sigh and she was sure he was pinching the bridge of his nose. Some old habits would only die when he did. “What about when he gets tired of you hiding things? What about when you have to just up and leave?”

“He said I could have my secrets.”

“For now.” She cringed because that’s essentially what he had said. She could have her secrets for now. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not going to be found-”

“I don’t just mean- Listen to me, Rose. I don’t want him to break your heart. I don’t want you to fall in love and have to leave him behind. I just want to protect you.”

“I want you to trust me.” Never in her life did she think she would be pleading Julian for anything yet here she was with tears in her eyes while she fought to keep her voice steady.

“Rosemary.”

“No.” One deep breath. Two deep breaths. “I’m sorry. I swear I wont tell him anything. I swear if I have to pack up and leave, I’ll do it. But let me have this.”

Steve lounged on the couch, beer in hand as Bucky wondered out of the bathroom. His dark hair was a damp mess of waves and sweatpants slung low on his hips. Any woman would kill to have a man like him if not for a few tiny details. The lingering shadow of mental instability, history of murder and missing limb all very valid reasons to run the other way. Still Steve loved his friend like a brother and like a brother Bucky took an interest in Steve’s personal life even when he didn’t want him to.

“How’d it go?” Bucky’s voice carried well enough though the apartment for him to be heard even as he rummaged through his closet in his bedroom.

“Good.” Steve called back. “Then not so good. Then great.”

“What does that even mean?” Bucky came down the hall while pulling a shirt down his torso. “What did you fuck up now?”

“Nothing, why do you automatically assume I fucked up somehow?” Shock crossed Steve’s face.

“You’re the one that said things went ‘good, then not so good, then great’.” Bucky pointed out as he sat down on the coffee table that somehow managed to hold up to the both of them using it as another chair more often than not. “What happened and start from the beginning.”

Six beers between the two men and one long recounting of Steve’s somewhat odd day in great detail later, it was late and they both were tired. Steve’s head was tilted back, resting against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. He was wholly done with the conversation.

“Look, I like her- okay?” Steve didn’t even look over at Bucky as he spoke. “I like Sara. A lot.”

“Okay, yeah. I get that. But she’s got secrets big enough that she tried to break things off with you before you’ve even started. And she won’t even tell you what they are.”

“So? It’s not like I’m going to marry her tomorrow or next week.” Steve reached down and picked up his beer only to find it empty and set it down again. It didn’t matter- it wasn’t as if he could get drunk off them anymore. Still, drinking them gave him a sense of normalcy he craved.

“Is her name even Sara?”

“I have no reason to think it isn’t. Anyway it’s not like she’s Hydra or anything.”

“How do you know that? Have you looked into her? What’s her last name?”

“Buck. She’s a small town artist who paints watercolors. She doesn’t eve own a car.” Steve laughed at the absurdity of the idea. “What ever it is that upset her it’s probably overbearing family or something.”

“Or maybe drug lords she owes money to? Maybe a husband she’s hiding? Maybe she’s the daughter of a Hydra official?”

“You do realize how crazy you sound, right?”

“In your line of work- can you really be too careful?” Buck stood, snagging his empty bottles and Steve’s off the coffee table.

“In our line of work its healthy to embrace the normal and she is just that, normal.” Bucky scoffed while tossing the bottles into the trash. Steve rolled his eyes before standing to face his life long friend. “If and when her and I get serious if she still doesn’t trust me with her secrets I’ll consider looking into her.”

“Man, I’m telling you this stinks so just be careful.” Bucky offered.

“Find yourself a relationship so you can stop meddling in mine.” Steve called out to his friend’s retreating back.

“Why are you pacing?” Bucky’s groggy voice cut through the morning air. “It’s not even seven.”

“I’m thinking.”

“Not about making a pot of coffee it seems.” Grumbling, Bucky set about making a pot of coffee since Steve clearly had other things on his mind.

“She doesn’t know.”

Bucky sighed and squeezed his eyes closed. It was too early for this shit. “Who doesn’t know what?”

“Sara and who I am.”

“How the hell does she not know who you are? Did you give her your actual name? You did, right?” Bucky watched intently as the dark liquid began to drip into the pot. It wasn’t filling fast enough.

“Yes I told her my actual name.”

“So, what’s the problem?” Bucky glared at the coffee pot. It was filling too slow for this conversation.

“She doesn’t watch much TV or pay much attention to the news.” Another trip across the living room and back was completed and the next was started. Steve still hadn’t slowed his pacing.

“So?” The pot finally finished and Bucky wasted no time in filling his mug. A generous splash of cream lowered the temp enough that he could begin sipping it.

“I told her I work in security.” Steve finally stopped, collapsing into a stool at the breakfast bar in front of Bucky.

“It’s not a lie, I guess.” A few more sips of coffee and Bucky was starting to think better. “I guess you can’t hold her secrets against her if you keep your own. Why didn’t you tell her?”

“Because she was talking to me to talk to me. Not to talk to Captain fucking America.”

“Bitter over your title now?”

“No. Maybe, a bit. Sometimes? It’s nice to not have it be the first thing she saw.”

Steve hated to admit it but the weight of the title was heavy and the fans were tiring. He’d long ago given up on a social life outside of those he worked with because all he was ever seen as was ‘Captian America’ by the general public. He couldn’t blame them, really. In their place he would have been the same way in the 40’s.

“Why’s this an immediate problem that has you pacing at half till seven? She’s got her secrets so she can’t be too mad about you having one.”

“Because we’re going on a mission. We leave in the afternoon.”

“You didn’t think about leading off with that? Like, ‘hey, maybe drink some coffee and pack for work and I’ll unpack my drama on the jet.’?” Bucky grumbled as he downed the rest of his mug only to refill it.

“You’ve got a point.”

“How long we looking at?”

“A few weeks.”

“How deep?”

“Minimal contact but not a total black out.” Steve stood, knowing he needed to start getting his things in order, make sure the bills for the next few weeks would auto pay and he would have everything he needed and would want during the weeks away packed.

“You’ll at least still be able to talk to her.”

“Not as much as I am now.” Steve sighed. “I’ve got to tell her.”

“She’ll probably just worry if you do.” Bucky pointed out, coming around the kitchen island.

“True. But if something were to happen she’d never know.”

“Nothing ever happens.” Bucky offered.

“But if something did. Even if we end up having to go dark without warning- I don’t want her thinking I don’t want to see her anymore or that she did something wrong.” Steve was justifying his choice but they both knew he would tell her. His strong moral compass wouldn’t allow him to go on a mission for over a week and not tell her.

The ping of an incoming message drew Rosemary’s attention from her computer. She was tired and her back was stiff but today was a busy day it seemed. Her web of informants were providing a steady stream of information. Some of it was outright profitable, other things not so much. Yet most of it was useful in some way.

Steve: Good Morning, Doll. Sleep well?

Rosemary smiled. He texted her something similar most mornings though she didn’t realize it was in fact morning already. She managed to work through the night.

Rosemary: Stayed up too late painting

Steve: I didn’t wake you, did I?

Rosemary: Not at all. I’ve not actually slept yet. Oops?

Steve: Can I come by?

Steve: Or call?

Steve: Calling probably would be better. I don’t really have the time to drive out.

Rosemary frowned at her phone as she watched the string of messages come in. Something was up. Steve wasn’t acting or at least messaging as he normally did. He seemed nervous and that put her on edge. Was he going to break up with her? Did she do something wrong? Did he decide that the secrets were too much after all? Did he find out she wasn’t who she said she was?

Rosemary: Sure. Everything okay?

The phone started ringing a moment later.

“Mute music.” Rosemary ordered the computer as took a deep breath and answered. “Hey?”

“Hey Sara.” He sounded as anxious as he did in the texts.

“What’s up?” She tried to sound relaxed herself but feared she didn’t do a good job of it. “Everything okay?”

“I just… Look, Sara- I wasn’t completely honest with you before when I said I work in security.”

“Okay? So what, you’re security for the Mob?” She tried to laugh at her own joke as she thought about if she should have done an information search on Steve before after all.

“No. Nothing like that. I mean, nothing illegal like that at least.”

“Okay.”

“I just, I was so caught off guard when you asked me what I did for work. No one ever asks that. Everyone just already knows. It was nice that you didn’t know. I liked that you saw me for me and that it didn’t matter.”

“You’re rambling, Steve.”

“Right.”

“Why would I know who you are?”

“Because I’m… Look, are you sitting down?”

“Yep.”

“I work with the Avengers.” Rosemary cringed. Of fucking course he did.

“Doing?”

“I’m Steve Rogers.”

“You said that already.”

“I’m Captain America.”

“Excuse me, you’re who now?” Rosemary shut the lid of her laptop with far more force than intended.

“Sara, I said I’m Captain America.” Steve repeated and Rosemary could hear laughing in the background on his end. Her mind clicked into overdrive as she tried to place who could be there.

“Okay. What does that mean for-” Her voice trailed off. She wasn’t sure if they even had an ‘us’.

“Us?” He offered the word softly and she nodded, though he couldn’t see it. “It doesn’t have to change anything. I’m still the same Steve, my job’s just a bit different.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Rosemary felt guilty for asking with all that she hadn’t told him but she was curious. “It’s okay if you don’t want to explain it. It doesn’t matter, really.”

“I didn’t mean to. It’s just… you didn’t realize who I was and just saw me for me. I didn’t want to become just Cap to you.” She listened as he heaved a sigh from the city. “If you don’t want to hear from me again, that’s fine. I’d understand.”

“No- I do.” She answered impulsively and cringed. “I just… what made you tell me?”

“Well it’s about work.” Rosemary nearly dropped her phone.

“What’s that?” She tried to keep her voice calm.

“I’m going to be going out on a mission for the next few weeks.”

“Will it be dangerous?” Rosemary bit her lip as she tried to think.

“Any mission can be.” Steve admitted. “We don’t expect this one to be too dangerous though.”

“So you’ll be gone for a while?”

“Yeah. But this one isn’t expected to be a total communication black out. I’ll have my phone on me and be able to text during down time. I may even be able to swing a few calls.”

“Will that be safe?” She took a deep breath. “That’s a dumb question.”

“I won’t access my phone unless it’s safe for me to do so. I won’t call unless it’s safe. I won’t put you in danger.”

“Okay. Promise you will be as safe as you can be?”

“I will. If I do have to go dark I’ll try to let you know.”

“What if…?”

“Something goes wrong?”

“Yeah.”

“Nothing will go wrong.” Steve reassured.

“But if it does?”

“If things go bad it will probably be in the news.” Steve laughed for a moment but stopped when she didn’t join in. “Okay- not funny. I’ll let the team know that if something happens to me to let you know. But nothing will happen. It’s routine.”

“Okay.” She breathed the word twice as she tried to convince herself that it would be okay.

“I needed you to know who I really was. I didn’t want you to be upset if I couldn’t talk as much as we have been.”

“That makes sense. I’ll just take what I can get. You’ll let me know when you’re back?”

“First thing.” Steve promised. “But also- I wanted you to know that whatever the reasons you have for your secrets, I can keep you safe if and when you let me in on whatever it is.”

“I can’t.” Her voice was tight and she suddenly wanted to cry as dumb as it was. “I can’t tell you. You can’t ask me too.”

“I won’t. I won’t right now but I hope in time you’ll trust me. I want to earn your trust.”

“In time.”

“I should get going. I’ve got to pack still…”

“Let me know when you leave?”

“Will do.”

Rosemary ended the call with a sigh and threw her phone on the bed behind her. Wasting no time she started pacing the bedroom. Wine was a good idea, surely. Or maybe not. She needed to call Julian. She needed to leave, get off Steve’s radar. He was a fucking Avenger.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fucking fuck.”

She didn’t want to go. Surely there was someway she could spin it with Julian some way that he would allow her to stay. That thought caused her to stop in her tracks. Julian wasn’t her keeper. He wasn’t her boss. He wasn’t her elder brother. He wasn’t her father. They were equals, partners. She wouldn’t allow him to make her choice for her.

Now she just needed to decide what she wanted to do.

Tag list: @bambamwolf87, @dangertoozmanykids101, @alexakeyloveloki, @theoneanna, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @missaphrodite23, @j-u-s-t-4, @fairlightswiftly, @princess76179

#steve x oc #steve x ofc #steve x original character #steve x original female character #Captain America x oc

[loyalbreed]

      Cent has decided to back away for the time being; because he feels that it is effecting people he has come to appreciate. That he doesnt know how to return such kindness that was given to him in full. And much like the beginning when the catfish thing first happened, he is overwhelmed and doesnt know where to begin to reach out to people. Again like the beginning, the only people who spoke to him about it wanting an answer. Were the people directly effected by it? Myself included, versus people who just kept using it against him?          The Catfish thing was resolved and ended well between many people who were effected actually. The person who owns the blog that is being linked about him is scrambling to delete it since it was kept by her and a lot of others. To make sure it was out there that what had done, did happen. And that it wasn't over looked either; the fact Cent asked to keep that blog up. Should be important notion alone over who he is as a person. It was not to be brought up negatively again and used as a tool to populate someones obsession and anger over him. Since it seems to continue to happen by the same people staring a new issue every so often when he has people comfortably having fun with him. Which makes me upset because it seems that if a community is happy; unhappiness needs to happen.

        I do not like long posts--and honestly this didnt stay short. But I want say how upset I am this happens again. Considering I was one of the close to him when Cent Catfished; its really stupid to see people who had nothing to do with him at the time. Bring this up as if they were really the ones effected most directly from it? Further you are bringing up bad feelings that many people have already come to let sit on their chest and deal with ultimately.        To further delve into my own sense of okay this post is about me, even though this isnt. I need you all to know how Call Out Culture is ineffective and Bad. From my stand point with my experience I want to leave you with a short burst of information about myself and how we handle it along with DCF, a separate government branch, DDS, and her therapists.         My sister is severely mentally disabled. For the rest of our lives we will be taking care of her. She cannot wash herself. She thinks that Star Scream from Transformers is real and often comes to talk to her. I told her once she couldnt date a toaster as a joke, and she threw the toaster at me screaming about it. She really thinks star scream is attractive, and often details herself with obsessions with Aliens and outer space. She thinks God is evil-- because God made her this way. And cant understand why that is a sad thing to say. She just gets frustrated; frustrated is her essence of living. And acting out on it is how she is derived of.          To continue, she has pushed me down stairs. Abused me. Told me to die. Tried killing me several times. Has emotionally abused my little brother to the point we have a separate staff of people in and out of our house for him.           This is nearly every day for me; every day it is. Is kayla alright? did she do something? Did she hurt someone? did she hurt herself? no? Good good. Today was a good day.          How is this relevant toward this situation and pertaining toward things going on; the thing is rather then take my sister out of the house considering how constant this is. The government stresses on keeping her in the home and helping us all as a whole keep together. When a break is needed; and it can be afforded. She goes into Respite Program where she leaves for a week or so. She is actually going to one soon, and is very excited because they are going to go out a lot!            To reiterate the government keeps disabled individuals who may be a threat to the family within the home. With emergency issues and things that need happen--and yes when she says she wants to kill you she means it. As someone she has tried to I can say that much alright.           To make a point; People who are an issue you do not merely remove them and or kick them out. Indeed themes need be addressed and if their are serious manners of which Pedophila is being actually done then we and you. Need to contact police enforcement. They will take you seriously; it is a serious endeavor. You can involve Tumblr Staff as well, there are channels to pull with if there is something volatile that need be addressed. I implore you to. Yet often times it seems when posts are made, the latter is true.              To highlight the issues where, Cent condones or romanticizes these things that are being said. If you read these rules it is not the case. He states that he will participate in these things but does not want just anyone asking him. Nor does he want anyone shipping with the character as he doesnt understand why it is you would? It is weird to think that from these text alone you would take context otherwise-- Especially knowing before this post was presented. Cent talked about how on his Bel blog he doesnt want to make people feel like his Bel is pushing on them or making them uncomfortable. And that he would never participate in noncon. Or that on King Arthur; he does not do any of these themes what so ever. That these themes are only present on the villainous character he does not even participate in roleplaying anymore.              To round this over; it is getting upsetting seeing how this is effecting one another when the general idea is ‘ i just want to be happy and want people to talk/do things with.’ Rather then ‘ i want nothing to do with this person. ‘ So many people are stressed out and want to talk to cent. Reach out to Cent. But are constantly being told otherwise; its sad and im happy to know that people exist out there that know in actuality how dealing with problems work. Versus adhering the idea that you need kick someone out.                    I fear those people. Because i fear letting my sister do something around someone and someone not understanding and condoning her for it when they only have a minuscule of the story. Seeing as people cant even understand someone who makes sense how would you understand someone like my sister? Its cool you can say now ‘ oh But no we arent talking about that. ‘ Yet the only reason why you can feel this way is because you know the story behind my sister, many of you dont know anything about Cent save for interacting with him and that he makes you laugh.          So Im going to Tell you one thing about Cent that for me now that you know my story makes me happy to share.           Seeing that Cent came out from such a bad place, being such a bad person, doing such horrible things but choosing to do better made me believe in others again. It made me believe that even if my sister does all the things she does. There is always a spot and place for her to truly come about and make a better decision too. True, Cent is a more able bodied man and isnt disabled like my sister. But its just the fact that he does and he could and he can. That makes me believe anyone can.           It makes me feel like no matter who you were in the past; you can always chose to be better then that. And no matter how many times or who wants to believe who you are in the past dictates who you are in the future. Wont ever mean as much; That anyone despite the things they have done can always chose to be a better person then what they had been. And cent really does solidify that fact. As someone who knew him from the time as a cat fished. That got catfished by him. Literally back stabbed by him. Only to come down and talk again as friends.                   I feel like I get to say that not anyone else, and Im really glad to be able to say that lmao. He is my closet friend and will always remain to be.             I don’t mind if you feel you do not want to talk to me or think I romanticize his issues as someone who has gone through so much. So much and more, you would not begin to understand. I feel you are more then welcome to believe that but I know there are people who talk to him and know what he does and feels the same. And are comfortable with the rounded world they have created with friends.              And I really ( SHOUNEN VOICE ) I really just believe in people--people change. And Cent makes me realize that this is possible. And you cant just remove people out of your life thinking they wont. And because I know better and because I am an adult with my head well on my shoulders. I can make that decision, i understand if you cannot yet or are afraid or uncertain. I implore you to keep yourself safe just know that some of us feel chill. and we are all alright btw!! So dont feel like we are being attacked or manipulated by cent. 

But I insist you stop thinking that trying to get rid of someone is going to solve an issue. People continue living and breathing every day regardless of what you think or want to happen? No one is ignoring the issues or ignoring the fact that stuff happened if you are scared or uncertain as well about them feel free to add me and we can always group convo and you can let your feelings bare. Or anyone really? just be mindful and fair?

This isnt going to make Cent come back i really just feel like. I want these feelings to be known and that if you are ever called out personally I will gladly give you a chance of your own. I can only hope to god, that he would give that chance to my sister one day if something happened. And to anyone and everyone, as well as  teach other people that everyone deserves that much.

#「✱《 𝓢 𝓱 𝓮 s p e a k s 》 ᵒ ᵒ ᶜ」 #This is indeed about what you think it is #so its under read more #though i apologize to mobile users #i ask that you no need to comment on this and not #i merely wish for this to be as it is and if the other party who has started the issue continues #they can continue to comment on it as it seems to effect them the most in current #otherwise iwish to just let this be known #somewhere

[talesofealdancynedom]

Tale 31: If We Lost The Sea Wives (4/5)

Tale 31: If We Lost The Sea Wives (chapter 4 - Silence of The Storm  4/5 ) part 7. Stories of Magic Forests

no warings

              Electra turned out to be professor Saturn Firepot’s trial run. As it would happen, his love of fey soon led him to a special job. Seers who study fey, are the wizards that identifying fey. What fey they are, where they come from, and how they behave; This is done, so common folk don’t get upset, or handle magic improperly. From identification applications, to in person consults; A seer of fey, was sure to help. Saturn’s next identification mission, was different however. Professor Saturn Firepot, was asked to identify fey that had been put in a warehouse, after being freed from illegal collectors; Or other dangerous situations. The goal was to either relocate them, or take them in for study. On rare occasions, some wizards who where power thirsty, had to be dissuaded from executing fey. All this was done to empty the magical containment centers. Regardless of the chaos, exotic and wonderous fey were to found.

              Saturn specialized in fish fey and fairies; So, those are the areas of the warehouse he was sent. His job was mostly filling out ID cards of fey’s container. Seeing them locked up, always made Saturn sad. He finished his round through the sea wife section, then quickly went to a corner of iron cages containing nymphs. One was only a boy; Which meant he was born, like Electra. He resembled a type of nymph thought to have been wiped out. Fountain nymphs. They are responsible for enchanting the fountains of youth, and creating healing water. The fountains had burned down earlier that year, possibly wiping the nymphs out. However, Saturn was less concerned with the naiad’s value, and more endeared by the fairies dominative apearance. He reminded Saturn of his daughter. The temptation to care for an orphaned fey became overwhelming. There was nothing stopping Saturn. He had transformed the school atrium into a fey rehabilitation center, used for educational purposes; Thus, Saturn had space to welcome any fey he chose to take with him.

Before Saturn knew it, he was focused on caring for a genuine fountain nymph, who insisted his name was Woodwick. But the small naiad, was in that containment center for a reason. Many people would do anything, to get their hands on a fey, that could grant them eternal beauty and health. Woodwick had came from such an abusive situation, and needed to be hidden for his protection. Saturn decided to only tell his apprentice, Dominique Klopirl, and no one else. Once Woodwick recovered, he started to look sad. As he grew, it became apparent Woodwick wanted something Firepot could actually offer. Being human. Or at least, as to human as a fey can get. Firepot had lied, and forged documents, to fool his entire village into thinking his daughter wasn’t a selkie. He knew exactly how to make Woodwick a convincing adoptive son.

              When Saturn got custody of Woodwick, he also got some concerning news: While he was at his new job, once again loving life, Jasper called saying Electra was going to have a baby. He sounded terrified. Saturn said all he needed to do, was deliver at home; And make sure to wash the baby immediately in a tub of sea water. Oddly specific instructions, but Jasper was to overcome by parental anxiety, to think deeply about that advice. Not that he thought deeply about anything anyway. Six months later, Saturn was invited home for the winter break, to meet his grandson. He was overcome with joy. Saturn was a grandfather, and the child was not a selkie.

              When Saturn arrived home, the cool humid air felt soothing, and the land was still green. A Northland winter is mild, but still winter. The cold was in the humid air. Like her mother, Electra went to dip her toes in the ocean, having delivered a baby complication free. Seemingly in perfect health. Jasper, as himself, was so happy to hold his son, and have his wife safe, to notice her obliviousness. He had a happy healthy family. But Saturn had an agenda. The second he entered the door, he ran over and hugged Electra, like he would never see her again. She still had the distinct squish of a selkie; Soft, with give and warmth. Her cashmere cardigan and floral gown, adding to the comfort of their embrace. The whole family was delighted to be together. After their long hug, Jasper got everyone to come in for some strong tea, and offered Saturn his grandson, Hara, to hold.

“Why’d you ask me to use sea water to wash him? Family tradition? Like some other families here? Is it because magic is in the sea, and it’s for luck?” Jasper asked. Saturn was holding up his grandson, giving him a good look over, with satisfaction. His face was full of serenity; Hiding souring memories. The last baby he held was his daughter, and it was markedly one of the worst days of his life. His grandson was a perfectly adorable human, and thus would never be tempted by the waves. There was no fear of him leaving his family heartbroken, as Saturn once was.

“I guess we feel connected to the sea and it’s fey,” Saturn said. “This is a magic forest Jasper.” Electra walked over and took Hara gently from her father’s arms. She seemed more fascinated by him then maternal. Only Saturn noticed, being aware of her identity. Fey, stuck in eternal youth, cannot conceptualize parental instincts. But nevertheless, they can deeply care for the people around them. Love is the strongest magic, even if it’s not the romantic kind. Fondness, or fey friendship, contains just as much love. In that sense, Electra loved Hara with all her heart.

              Hara felt loved by his family, and admired his grandfather; Who was working in another land. When grandpa came to visit, it felt more magical than his home. When Hara was about school age, he met Woodwick. Hara, as a mage and fey enthusiast, recognized a nymph in seconds. When he was alone with his grandfather, Hara had questions.

“We talked about how Woodwick is a nymph, and I might be a mage; But why did you adopt him? And why do you lie to father?” Hara asked, innocently. Fear ran through Saturn’s bones. Children see through lies.

“Well, Woodwick is precious. He is valuable to the world of wizards, fey, and common folk. He is also important to me; Like a son. Woodwick dreams to be human, and teach magic, as fey can have individual dreams too. In Fountain, he would of had a childhood just like yours, and be treated as a common man. Nymphs are good at that. But it’s different outside magic forests; People can be possessive or violent towards fey. If I convince everyone Woodwick is human, he will have his dream, and be safe from naughty wizards. So, I adopted him, take him to be a part of our family, put him into magic school, and lie about what he really is.” Saturn said.

“But wont lying get you in trouble? Grandpa, what if you get caught? Don’t people always find out? Grandpa! that’s bad!” Hara reprimanded.

“It is more like… Withholding information! It’s for the better! Can you tell everyone Woodwick is your adoptive uncle, so he can be safe and have his dream?” Saturn requested, looking at Electra. She was cleaning the kitchenette. Luckily, Hara ran over to embrace her leg. Children ask a lot of questions, but can easily be distracted before they get answers. Saturn felt like he had dodged a bullet. Like his lost wife and selkie daughter, Woodwick had become another fey Saturn lied to protect. Another fey he forgot wasn’t human.

Professor Saturn Firepot’s reputation would be slaughtered, if people found out he was hiding such valuable fey, or treating them like family. The line between profession, and using love to justify his actions, was becoming blurred. Woodwick and Electra weren’t people, or his family; They were made of magic, and children of the Fairy King and Fish Kings respectively. Yet, Saturn wanted them to be human. They felt human. He had studied fey his whole life, and knew how close they were to an average person when given the chance. Each mythical creature had a personality, and real emotions. They were worth respect, and deserving of basic care. They are a fundamental and constant part of the world. Why should anything so alive, be worth anything less? This is a message Saturn would always teach Hara. But Hara was a mage raised around fey, and perfectly unable to tell between someone made of magic, or blood.

Hara may have noticed Woodwick, but his mother whom he saw everyday, passed his radar. Even if Electra, being made of magic, could sense her son was a mage, she ignored it. Hara was just another one of his favourite humans. Given everyone’s ignorant bliss, Saturn continue withhold the fact Electra was a Selkie from everyone. Woodwick would be fought over, and loose his dream of being human; But Electra would leave Saturn. He would be forced to return her coat, and watch her walk into the sea, abandoning him. Saturn’s job and reputation was second to how much he loved his family. The loss of their trust, and their broken hearts, scared him; Increasing Saturn’s worries about his daughter. Out of fear and love, Saturn was unable to stop lying. Which resulted in a troubled mind. That night, Saturn took out Electra’s coat from his bag. He took it everywhere, to keep it safe. A selkie could die without her skin. He held it close and tight, like his daughter. plush, warm, and sweetly scented. Something so simple, just seemed to mean so much.

NEXT--->

<---PREVIOUS

#tales of ealdan cynedom #short stories #fantasy #hara #story 31 #firepot #woodwick #electra

[redrobin-detective]

The Long Way Around 19

And so begins the second act of the story. We got Izuku to the hero course but now what? I’m sure you all know but things are gonna get shaken up. Also introducing one of my favorite bnha characters and by far my favorite character to write in this story. Enjoy!

AO3

Chapter Nineteen: Bizarre! A Mentor Appears!

Izuku thinks he's finally settling into 1-A. It's now the end of his first week here and, so far, things have been going pretty well.

First off, he's finally learned which classroom to walk in, having accidently walked to 1-C a couple of times on accident. But he's also gotten pretty close with some of the people in his class. He and Uraraka clicked almost immediately, but he's also become friendly with Kirishima, As-Tsuyu, Iida and Todoroki. Since that first day, Kacchan has pretty much ignored him unless he was trying to get Izuku to fight him again.

Izuku misses his friends in 1-C, misses the easy comfort he'd developed with them but he's glad he's fitting in here well. Besides, it's not like he doesn't see them anymore and they still text all the time.

Still, despite the warm welcoming, Izuku can't help but feel like an outsider, not just because he's new but because he's quirkless. While he hasn't had any really bad interactions like in middle school, he knows that some of the others are doubtful of his capabilities. He's held up so far in the training sessions but he still feels like he needs to prove himself somehow.

Izuku knows most of them mean well when they go easy on him during exercises but it still it frustrates him. He didn't get to this spot for being weak and he hates that people still treat him as such. Sometimes it amazes him just how close-minded people can be, as if their way is the only way. During those interactions, he steels himself and makes notes for the future.

When he's a hero, he's going to put a stop to this kind of injustice.

"Midoriya," Izuku turns away from his conversation with Uraraka to look over at Aizawa-sensei. "Come here for a moment, I need to speak with you in the hall." Izuku stands up, convinced all at once that he was going to be thrown out of the class. He's only been here a week, he couldn't have screwed up that badly-

"You're not in trouble but it pertains to your upcoming week." Izuku sighs with relief as he follows his teacher into the hallway. His heart speeds up, as always, when he sees All Might standing there too. The hero looks a bit uncomfortable.

"Is something the matter? Can I help?" Izuku asks before he can shove the words back in his mouth. Idiot. What could he possibly do to help the Number One Hero? All Might chuckles and gives Izuku a quick hair ruffle.

"No Young Midoriya, there's nothing wrong but I appreciate the sentiment. That good heart of yours is the finest quality in any hero," All Might says. If Izuku was killed right now in some sort of freak accident, he could die happy.

"Moving on," Aizawa-sensei says dully. "I'll get right to it, you got a nomination earlier this morning even though you technically weren't eligible." Izuku's mouth drops open, a nomination? For him? "It's last minute but everything is in order. You were supposed to spend your internship week with me bringing you up to the level of your classmates. However, given this development, I thought I'd give you the option."

"I'll do it," Izuku answers quickly the moment his teacher finishes speaking.

"You don't even know who nominated you yet." All Might says with amusement but still that hidden touch of discomfort Izuku can't place his finger on.

"I know but I still want to do it," Izuku pleads. "Even though I'm in the hero course I have to work two, maybe three, times as hard as everyone else just to keep up and I'm already so far behind. The fact that someone bothered to sponsor me at all is incredible and I have to take this opportunity."

"I still need to find time to catch you up," Aizawa-sensei says with a sigh.

"Can't I come after my internship? It's only in the day and I know you work primarily at night," his teachers look at him. "I can forgo sleep for a week, it's not like I haven't done it before." A nearly manic grin spreads on Aizawa-sensei's face and he looks like he's about to say yes when All Might interrupts.

"I think what your teacher is trying to say is that while we admire your dedication, we certainly don't want you to go to such exhausting lengths." All Might says with a grin. "If you truly intend to take this internship then we shall simply have to find another time to train you."

"I do, I mean, intend to take this. I'm sorry if this upsets your plans, Sensei, but I need to start moving forward instead of just catching up."

"I kind of figured you'd say that," Aizawa-sensei nods. "Alright, I'll get it set up. You'll be leaving with the other students Monday morning. I'll be explaining the details in homeroom so pay attention. All Might knows your sponsor so I'll leave it to him, just be back in your seat before the final bell." Sensei says as he shuffles back into classroom.

"So you know who sponsored me?" Izuku asks, turning to look up at his hero.

"A-ah, yes, I do," All Might says, clearing his throat several times. Izuku begins to wonder what kind of person his sponsor could be to make All Might of all people anxious.

"His name is Gran Torino, he's a pro hero from the old days and he's been long since retired. He taught at Yuuei for one year and was, in fact, my homeroom teacher. He's a very good teacher and a skilled hero." Izuku is getting very concerned with how nervous All Might looks, is he actually shaking? "But he's very tough and has no patience for failure; you'll learn a lot I'm sure but you need to be careful around him."

"I-I will, sir!" Izuku squeaks as he imagines a tall, menacing man with a terrifying quirk. "Uh, since you know him, do you know why he picked me of all people?"

"O-oh, well I'm sure he saw your potential and wanted to help foster your growth. Now you best get back inside so you don't miss anything, you've got a big week coming up." Toshinori says, smiling down at his student. "I'm not sure of your normal exercise routine but try not to do anything strenuous over the weekend. This internship will require all your strength and skill."

"Yes, I understand, All Might, I wont let you down," Young Midoriya says with an earnest expression. "I'll tell you know how it goes when I get back!" The boy says with a final wave before disappearing back into his classroom and sliding the door shut. Toshinori lets out a deep breath and quickly makes his way down the hall, hoping to make it back to the teacher's lounge before he reverts back to his true form.

No one had been more surprised than him when Young Midoriya got a last minute nomination and from his old mentor of all people. He'd nearly keeled over right there. The boy has only been in the hero system for about a day which means Torino had been waiting for him to be put up.

None of the other teachers had actually expected the quirkless student to get nominated so it was quite the surprise. It had been the gossip among the staff this morning, who Gran Torino was and what he wanted with Young Midoriya. But Toshinori is the only one who actually knows the man and he's more than certain that Torino had a very specific reason for sponsoring the boy...

Toshinori enters the teacher's lounge, thankfully empty at this time and powers down with a sigh. It's getting tougher to remain in his All Might form. The strain of One For All is starting to be too much for his broken boy. He coughs into his handkerchief and stumbles over to the couch where he can hopefully rest for a little bit before his afternoon class or some world-ending disaster, whatever comes first. Toshinori is just getting comfortable when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

"Goddammit," he mutters, fishing it out. "Hello?" he croaks as another cough hits him.

"You sound like hell," a gravely old voice says and just like that Toshinori is 15 again, getting his lunch beaten out of him. A strangled gasp escapes his throat as he violently sits up before dissolving into another coughing fit. How long has it been since he's heard that voice? Years for certain but Gran Torino sounds just as commanding as he did back in the day. "At least pass on your power before you kick the bucket."

"Why are you-" he hesitates, "wait, this is about Young Midoriya, your sponsorship, right?"

"No, I'm calling about the dry cleaning, of course I'm calling about the boy, you idiot! The internships start next week and I haven't heard diddly squat from the school."

"You just turned in the form this morning." Toshinori says, his annoyance partially outweighing his anxiety. "We just got around to confirming it with the young man not five minutes ago."

"Well that's your problem for not making the kid available until the last second," Torino snaps. "And more to the point, it's your damn fault for making me come out of retirement to do this in the first place!"

"I-"

"I know you Toshinori. I probably know you better than anyone in that uppity school," Torino barrels on ahead. "I knew the second I saw that boy beating on Endeavor's kid that you'd be considering him as your successor. Hell, I'm surprised you haven't offered it up already." Torino pauses, "you haven't have ya?"

"No, but the situation is complicated," Toshinori says, leaning back and rubbing his temple with one hand. "I will admit I've given it some thought but everyone in Japan knows he doesn't have a quirk now. He can't just develop a power like mine out of nowhere, it'd be too suspicious." He pauses and thinks of Young Midoriya's resolute face when he'd first confessed his quirklessness. "Besides, the young man has come far on his own. He's proud of his accomplishments and I don't know if he would even accept."

"I don't remember you being such a coward back in the day," Torino taunts. "Those are minor details that can be worked around and you know it. You're just too scared to give up your power and admit that your time as the Number One is almost up." The truthful statement hangs heavily in the air. "Look, that's why I nominated the kid. I'll check him out since you keep putting it off and see if the kid has the stones to handle One for All. You two knuckleheads can work out the rest."

"I-I appreciate it," Toshinori replies softly.

"Yeah well you better, always gotta clean up your messes for you." The older man sighs. "So the kid's coming Monday, right?"

"Young Midoriya insisted. We'll have the paperwork in by the end of the day."

"Make sure you do," Torino says while the phone crackles with movement. "Damn, I guess I should clean this place up a bit if a kid's gonna be here. Should probably fix up your old room too so he's got somewhere to crash once I'm through beating on him."

"Don't go too hard on him, you hear?" Toshinori says but there's a light smile on his face as he imagines Young Midoriya collapsing in the same broken down room he'd used a very long time ago.

"Well I'm not going to see if he's good enough by tiptoeing around him," Torino grumbles. "But don't worry, he'll come back to you in one piece."

"That's all I can ask I guess," Toshinori mutters. "Thanks again," he says weakly until he's unable to suppress the urge any longer. "You know, it's not just the fear of losing my power that makes me hesitant. I'm just- this was her power. I need to do this right. I screwed up so many things in my life but I can't screw this up. I'm afraid I'll make the wrong choice and ruin everything she stood for."

"Stop being stupid, Toshinori it doesn't suit you," Torino says dismissively. "This isn't something you can know, like a math equation or something. This is something you gotta feel. You were a mess when Shimura found you but she saw something in you and turned you into a hero. Sometimes you gotta trust your gut and make a leap of faith."

He clears his throat, "look, I gotta go. I'll call you in a few days with my thoughts on the kid."

"Okay and, even if this doesn't work out, it was nice talking to you. It's uh been awhile," Toshinori mutters awkwardly.

"Yeah, because you've been too busy out there killing yourself. Take care, Toshinori." Torino says sharply before abruptly hanging up. Despite the rudeness, Toshinori couldn't help but smile. After all these years and the old goat still hasn't changed. Young Midoriya is certainly in for a rough couple of days. The thought brings him back to the reality of the situation as he lays back down and watches the fan spin lazily overhead.

By complete accident, he's stumbled upon a boy who feels right in a way none of Nighteye's other choices have. Despite his deliberate feet dragging, the more he interacts with the boy, the more certain he is that Young Midoriya has what it takes to be a worthy successor. It seems so sudden for such an important choice to be thrust upon him like this. But then he thinks of his happenstance first meeting with Nana and smiles.

He's run into Young Midoriya several times over the last year before he even noticed him. Toshinori can't help but think that this might be fate smacking him over the head. He can't help but wonder if some things were meant to be.

XxX

"You've all got your costumes?" Aizawa-sensei asks in his normal, dry way. "Don't lose them, don't wear them in public without your sponsor and don't embarrass the school. Have a good week, I guess." Tenya look down at the case containing his armor. Since hearing about his brother's injury, all he can feel is a deep emptiness in his chest. He holds the case tightly in his hand. Hopefully he'll be able to fix that this week.

"Iida," he turns to see Uraraka, Midoriya and Todoroki standing there looking sympathetic. The whole class has been treating him delicately ever since the incident. Only Midoriya and Uraraka have been brave enough to try and get him to talk but Tenya always tried to allay their fears. Apparently he hasn't been entirely successful.

"Good luck with your internship," Midoriya says with a shy smile. "I know I sound like a broken record but we're here for you if you need someone to talk to. We are uh kind of..." he trails off and looks awkwardly down at his case. "You-you have my number, if you ever need me during the week." Uraraka nods emphatically while Todoroki just stands there and watches him thoughtfully.

While there have been numerous changes in the class dynamic since Midoriya arrived, Todoroki has by far changed the most. Where previously he was closed off and didn't interact with anyone, he's now more engaged, especially with Midoriya. Considering that Midoriya gave him some pretty significant injuries during the Festival, Todoroki can usually be found hanging around the quirkless boy. Anyone in the class who dares to whisper about Midoriya's ability to be a hero will find themselves on the receiving end of a very cold look from the boy. Uraraka thinks it's a sign of love but Tenya thinks there might be more to it than that.

"I appreciate it, all of you, and I will keep that in mind should I ever need it." Tenya says, faking a friendly smile to soothe their worries. They had their own internships to worry about and, besides, this had nothing to do with them. This is personal. He sees Uraraka and Midoriya wander away with a final wave but Todoroki remains, looking like he's trying to figure something out.

"You're going to Hosu, right?" Todoroki says softly.

"That is correct," Tenya says sharply. Did Todoroki figure out him out? Would he tell Sensei? "And you're working at your father's agency, are you not?"

"I am," the other boy nods. "He's hoping to track down the Hero Killer this week. I might run into you since the villain was last spotted there." Tenya winces but Todoroki isn't done yet. "You should take Midoriya up on his offer to talk; he's very perceptive and kind. I think he can help you."

"I appreciate it but really I am fine," Tenya says tensely. "I must say I'm surprised at your attitude towards Midoriya given his condition. I admire his resolve greatly but I must admit I still have my doubts on his capabilities." Instead of the glare Tenya had expected from his frank assessment, intended to distract Todoroki, he merely looks confused.

"You fought him too, didn't you see it?" Todoroki questions. "He's undoubtedly skilled with his martial arts but there's something about the way Midoriya treats people, the way he fights. I can't describe it other than to say, despite the battle, he made me feel safe for the first time in a long while."

"No, I guess I didn't," Tenya responds slowly, not sure what to make of the strange comment. He looks up at the train schedule. "I'm afraid I really must be going. My train will be arriving momentarily. I wish you luck during your internship." Todoroki stares at him intensely for a moment longer.

"You too Iida, be careful and don't do anything you'll regret." Todoroki says before walking away, his footsteps silent in the noise of the crowd. Todoroki means well but he can't understand what Tenya is feeling right now. He hates to disappoint him, and everyone else, but nothing is going to stop him from avenging his brother.

He turns and walks towards his train, going with open eyes into whatever awaits him in Hosu.

XxX

Izuku knocks on the door to the creepy, abandoned looking building where, supposedly, his mentor will be waiting. He'd spent a good portion of his weekend trying to find any information on Gran Torino, the man who taught at Yuuei for just one year and, even years later, still scared the pants off of All Might. He knocks again and it echoes listlessly. Strange.

He tries the door and finds it open. Izuku frowns, there's something not right about this situation. He pulls out his new bō, courtesy of Hatsume, and has it ready by his side as he enters the building. "H-hello? I'm uh, I'm a student from Yuuei's Hero course? You uh nominated me?"

He takes a few steps in and freezes, there's an old man lying in a puddle of what looks to be blood on the floor. His natural urge is to scream but he clamps that down and focuses. Izuku's staff is whipped out to it's full length as he quickly assesses the area for the person who'd done this before racing forward. There's still a chance the man may be alive and Izuku knows some basic first aid, that should be enough until the ambulance arrives-

"I'm alive!" the old man yells, lifting his head up suddenly and this time Izuku does actually scream because what the hell is happening. Izuku had whipped his staff around unconsciously until it's right in the old man's face. He should probably move that. "Who are you?" the old man asks as he shakily gets to his feet, seemingly unconcerned with Izuku and the weapon aimed at him. If this is a joke by his teachers, Izuku is going to be furious.

"I'm Midoriya Izuku," he says, feeling annoyed that he may have just wasted his time and optimism, again. "I'm looking for Gran Torino? He's a hero who sponsored me, I was told to meet him at this address."

"What?" the old man asks, holding his hand to his ear. "You're going to have to speak up, sonny. Are you a friend of Toshinori's?" Izuku takes a deep breath and leans down to the older man's level. No matter what's going on, he can't bring himself to be rude to such a sweet, old man.

"I said-" Izuku finds a small but powerful fist in his face. He's thrown back a bit before he brings his staff up to defend but the old man has already moved, perching on a couch on the far side of the room. Izuku rolls his jaw, that was a good punch from someone who couldn't stand a minute ago. Was that all an act? "Gran Torino, I presume?"

"You're not as dumb as you look and believe me, you looked pretty dumb there for a minute." Gran Torino says in a gravely voice, all traces of earlier confusion gone as his wrinkled face becomes hard. Faster than Izuku can follow, the man is speeding forward and kicks his foot right into Izuku's face, forcing him to ground. "Are you sure Yuuei sent the right boy? I asked for the kid who fought all the way to second place in the Sports Festival."

"And I asked for a mentor who would treat me with respect and not resort to stupid tricks so I guess no one is getting what they want today." Izuku says, wiping the dirt from his face as he sits up because he's annoyed and excited and terrified all at once.

"Oh ho, testy aren't we? Yeah, I yanked your chain a little bit," the old man grins and it reminds Izuku of his master. "So what are you going to do about it, boy? Come at me and show me what you showed those kids you fought." Izuku smiles back as he settles into his stance, his bō ready in front of him. Gran Torino has some sort of speed quirk. Whatever it is, it's not something Izuku will be fast enough to keep up with but he might be able to predict where the man will go.

Gran Torino rushes forward again, Izuku grits his teeth as he tries to aim his staff at the incoming projectile but Torino dodges midair and plants both feet into Izuku's gut before using him to jump off. He stumbles backwards, only staying upright by using his bō to stabilize him.

Izuku watches Torino continue to bounce around the walls like a pinball. There'd been a jet of air when Torino had pushed off him so it seems like a propulsion quirk which gave the man speed, mobility and impressive force. He'd have a hard time defending against such a versatile quirk.

The next time the hero speeds his way, Izuku is able to duck, but his staff doesn't even come close when he tries to strike the hero. This is pathetic, he can't even land a single hit on a man old enough to be his grandfather. Torino lands above his doorway and sneers down at Izuku.

"Not as easy as the Sports Festival, is it kid? That's because all of your opponents, save the kid with the explosions, were going easy on you on account of you being quirkess. You got potential all right but you're not going to get anywhere at Yuuei or in the real world if people keep pulling their punches. Since they weren't taking proper care of you, I figured it was up to me."

Yes, this is exactly what he was looking for. Someone who would look at him and not see someone who needed to be protected but someone who had the opportunity to be powerful in his own way. He'd almost gotten used to being coddled that the blunt approach is like a breath of fresh air. So this is the man who taught All Might.

"Please give me everything you've got, sir." Izuku says seriously, calculating in his head his advantages and how he can use them. "Because I'm certainly going to."

"Oh you'll come to regret those words," Torino says, jumping off the wall with such speed, it cracked. So clearly he's not concerned with collateral damage to his home. Good to know. The man bounces past him in a way meant more to intimate than hurt, Izuku doesn't even bother trying to hit him. He's too busy trying to focus on Gran Torino's movements, the time he needs to cross the room and how to predict his next location when he ricochets off of Izuku's back. Torino lands on the his microwave, smashing it to bits.

"Come on kid, I know you can do better than this. You tore through Endeavor's kid and gave that explosion brat a run for his money. Show me that you're worth my time." The man demands, speeding forward again. Izuku is tired of constantly being on the defensive so he plants his staff on the ground and jumps up to meet Torino in the air with his fist ready to greet him. But the hero has more mobility than he'd anticipated and course corrects midair to slam Izuku hard into the floor before bouncing around some more.

How is he supposed to land a hit when he moves faster than Izuku can think? He frowns, Iida is faster than Izuku, probably faster than Gran Torino too, and Izuku was able to beat him. And he did it not by being strong but by being smart and a bit sneaky. He gets back to his feet while his sponsor continues to whirl around like a blur.

Torino comes around again and it looks like he's tired of using Izuku as a springboard as his hand is outstretched, ready to drive him into the floor again.

Izuku is able to dodge and, now that he's got a better approximation of the other's speed, he brings his staff up to the point where he knows Gran Torino will be and swings. For a second, Izuku dares to think it will connect but instead the man bats the bō out of his way. Izuku grunts in aggravation as he falls back into his stance. He's getting closer though and that's something.

"You're intelligent and you've got a good ability to predict but that will only get you so far." Torino shouts from the other side of the room. He's right, all he's doing is reacting now, he needs to go on the offensive. Izuku spies the couch in the middle of the room and a hesitant plan comes to mind. He dashes under the couch and waits a second or two. "You think a real villain will give you the opportunity to hide and collect your thoughts? Well you're-"

Torino had been in the upper left corner ceiling when Izuku had gotten under his couch, assuming he didn't change his trajectory, Izuku knows exactly where he's going to be. Once he hears the man jump off the wall, Izuku rolls out from under the couch and readied himself. He likes to imagine that's surprise on the old man's face as Izuku swings his staff in his direction.

Everyone always thinks the quirkless kid is trying to hide, why do they never guess he's manipulating their expectations? There's something very satisfying about the way the bō slams into Torino's side, directing him off course. The man still lands fairly gracefully on floor a short distance away.

"Using your opponent's perception of your weakness against them, that's good." Torino says with a dry grin he as he rubs at his side. "All Might sure as hell didn't teach you that trick."

"Well when I'm as strong as All Might then I'll worry about fighting fair," Izuku retorts.

"Ha!" the old man barks. "Alright put that staff down, kid, we're done for now. You're off to a good start but you've got a long way to go if you wanna go pro."

"I know sir, that's why I'm here." Izuku says relaxing only slightly, if Torino come at him again, he'll be ready. "I'm already at a massive disadvantage being quirkless, I need to be twice as skilled just to keep up."

"At least you understand the stakes," Torino nods. "You have a very long day ahead of you, brat. First, I'm going to tell you exactly what you did wrong just now and how to do better next time."

"And after that?" Izuku asks.

"Why, you're going to show me I wasn't wrong in sponsoring Yuuei's first quirkless hero." Gran Torino says with a toothy grin that promises an afternoon of insults and pain. Izuku can't wait.

It's late, very late, by the time Izuku is directed to a dirty, dust covered spare bedroom in Gran Torino's home. He's sore all over and he's pretty sure he's going to look like he got jumped by a gang tomorrow but he feels good. The pain feels like progress after too long of standing still.

He collapses on the bed which smells like dirt and sweat. Doesn't matter, too tired. Gran Torino says tomorrow is going to be twice as hard as today so he needs to be well rested so he's at least halfway prepared. He's on the cusp of unconsciousness when he notices an unread message on his phone.

Glowstick: How's it goin? U r at ur internship right?

Izuku smiles, he's missed them. Their concern even though he's not in their class anymore means a lot

MightyBoy: Yea, I'm so tired

IcyHot: This was the hero no one's ever heard of, right?

MightyBoy: Gran Torino, yeah, he's, Izuku searches for the right word, something else

Vampira: But is he helping?

MightyBoy: He's not going easy on me

MightyBoy: I finally feel like I'm moving forward

MindController: That's good

MightyBoy: Btw Shinsou, I talked to my homeroom teacher

MightyBoy: Since he's not working with me this week he said he might stop by ur class and check u out

MightyBoy: I wore him down with how there's unappreciated talent in 1-C

MindController: You did what now

Glowstick: I CAN'T LOSE HITOSHI TOO!1!1

Izuku snickers to himself as the chat explodes. The pleasant buzzing of his phone beneath him, reminiscent of so many nights spend this past term staying up late and texting with his friends. It's comforting to know that the more things change, the more things stay the same. Izuku is tempted to check in on a few of his friends in 1-A but it's late and they're probably tired from their own internships.

He's still worried about Iida, the other boy hadn't seemed right when they'd said goodbye at the train station but he doesn't feel right texting him out of the blue. They've only been classmates a week and he's not sure it's his place to butt into Iida's personal issues. Eventually, even these thoughts can't keep awake any longer and he drifts off, his phone still buzzing warmly in his hand.

#fic: The Long Way Around #boku no hero academia #bnha fics

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 2:

HOH: KRISTINE

EVICTED: NICKY (WALKED)

JESS:

Kristine being in power scares me shitless. I know I haven't exactly been the MOST social person in this game and I've been very UTR the last couple of days/ non existent but I always felt like I was good with Kristine. I don't know? I thought we talked a good bit at least in comparison to others.... but then after she won I called her the HBIC and homegirl told me she loved my ass kissing. That HOHITIS is real with this one ladies. I offered up my services as a potential person to work with moving forward and she ignored my offer. She literally swerved me. Straight up IGNORED me and focused on what I said about not being social. So there is a good chance I'm going up and if I don't go up it isn't because Kristine doesn't want it.. it'll probably be because others don't want it. At least I hope? I'm trying NOT to go into crisis mode on the second HOH but... old habits die hard? I think that's the quote? I think if I had to write a "trust list" for this game.. honestly.. I'm feeling really good about Kori. I THINK we could go far together and we'd balance out each other well. Obviously he's a good player and I'm going to need that on my side moving forward. Eve is obviously my #1 right now but it'd be naive on me not to believe that others aren't saying the same about her. I really like Andrew but we don't talk game? But I guess I can improve on that? Those are the 3 people I'm vibing with right now. 

KORI:

Ok so at this point I'm not entirely sure if I made a DR entry earlier or not, I planned on making a video but at this point it'd just get too long. Rehder going unanimously is STILL a meme to me but here we are. Kristine winning HoH was honestly alright for me because I feel like she and I have a reasonably good relationship. Though I'm not sure it could ever be something long term because she's likely working with people I have no desire to work with. (Dem, Chris, Brien, those guys.) Emma and I had a serious talk about long term what we wanna do about Eve since we seem pretty in agreement that the current dynamic is Jess and Mackenzie are Eve's Top 2 Bitches, and we're like probably the Bottom 2 Bitches. Personally I think the best time for Eve to go is like F7ish but obviously we need more time for things to progress to see where we sit. I think longterm the Mandela Monocles are a better alliance for me since I think I could sit next to Austin OR Silence and win. I just can't sit next to Gwen who I really think just has a better personality than me. With Kristine nominating Madison it... isn't really ideal for me, but Madison is also pretty isolated at this point. While we have that Mitten Connection, if she is lacking any connection with others in this game I can't go dragging my feet for her... That being said, I think eliminating Nicky this round, would not be like... the WORST thing ever. It'd just be a question of convincing Gwen that it's a good idea. Though the harder thing would be convincing others that keeping Madison is a good idea. While I like her, I'm not sure it's in my best interest to leave tracks trying to keep her in the game. Obviously it's gonna depend on how Veto goes, if noms stay the same I might push a little for a Nicky boot and see what happens, but if it's not gonna happen I'll just cut my losses. (Though with Nicky doing his thing he seems likely to dig his own grave.)

AUSTIN:

I am feeling very comfortable this week. I’m in the power trap alliance with Chris, Kristine, Dem, and Emma. I’m also in the Mandela Monocles alliance with Gwen, Silence, and Kori. Kristine is currently HoH so I don’t think she will put me on the block. I have suspicions that Emma is working with Eve because when we were playing the HoH competition, Emma refused to take Eve out. I’m just glad that one of my alliances is in power.

KRISTINE:

Love the alliance. So happy I won HOH and got to be in power. The veto comp didn’t go as well as planned tbh. I’m sooo upset that I didn’t do as well as I wanted I was up at 200 something and then lost it all over a very stupid roll. But it’s fine whether I win this or not I know I’ll get my way. Nicky is going home, let’s just hope he doesn’t win HOH. Don’t ever argue with the HOH when you’re the one on the block LOL!!!

NICKY:

CAN I LIVE? Can i fucking live? there are 16 other people in this and yet i got nommed for a stupid reason yet again. 

WILLIAM:

I'm so glad I escaped this week without being nominated!!! I feel so much better this week than last week! At the end of last week I thought for sure I was gonna leave pre-jury but now I feel like I've made so many real connections and I feel like I am in a great spot with many people

ANDREW:

episode 2 This could be super naive of me to say and a little cocky and i know it 100% IS but i feel like almost everyone in this game loves me besides nicky, i think im just playing a really good social game im scared of eve for some reason i feel like she is the only person possibly playing a better game than me. just get those competitive af vibes from her, i will not go after her unless she comes for me doe. shes super cute tho love her vibes, and I think me and Jess formed and alliance just now As of now Austin Jess and Chris are my top 3 in that order Update: I love Eve, we had an emotional heart to heart about STUFF, ill never forget it and i appreciate her for it so much, even if we don't end up being on the same side in this game together, the bitch is dope. I fucking love these noms dude, my 2 least favorite people sittingpretty on the block and i had nothing to do with it. HORNY cuz they wont even be coming for me. I hope nicky fucking bombs veto. "i cant talk to all 16 of u at once" ya....nobody fuckin asked you too but kristines point is sometimes a simple HELLO can save u from being nominated But regardless im proud of her and her tatse. * has one mixed drink and suddenly wants to fight nicky for no reason * oops i apologized to him and i didn’t even read anything from last night after what i said bc embarrassment. idc if he accept my apology, just wanted to throw it out there so i don’t look like a total douche

CHRIS:

Well week Number two and I’m in two separate alliances, have House majority, close with a few women, beyond the game have final choose with multiple people, should not be on the block for a long time, while slowly running this game behind the scenes with Myself. This backseat life is the best life

GWEN:

Hiiii. So looks like Nicky is going home tonight. He kind of dug his own grave. He was such a party pooper during our house game on Friday. Sooo. Yeah. I’m closest with Kori and Chris - getting closer to Chris for sure. What is it with me and Chris’s in ORGs? I need to get back to work. That is all for now :)

MACKENZIE:

i really gotta uhhhhh try harder bc i feel on the lowest end of the Entire Totem Pole. i feel like if i won smthn that would change but i’m a flop so

DEM:

I actually would have kept Nicky if he had the numbers. I wish he didn't quit. I think he messed up by throwing names around, because some people actually wanted to keep him...

EMMA:

if u cant handle the heat nicky why did u sign up.. quitting is worst then getting evicted.

TAWNI:

Ok since I was out of it last round time for my cast assessment now. Since this was due prior to Nicky quitting I’ll include him Nicky - I forgot he existed week one. Actually sad he quit and was gonna leave cause he was entertaining arguing with Kristine Gwen - I love Gwen. She allows me to not be the official grandma of the game. She is very sociable which is scary. But I think I can trust her. Austin - automatically meh about him cause of his name. Pretty forgettable honestly. Mackenzie - nice gal. Nothing negative to say. Haven’t talked much. Jess - the person I’m most terrified of. When I realized she is THE boojess like fuck me. I’m scared. I feel like as long as I don’t get on her bad side I’m good. William - seems like a good kid. Kristine - I’m v intimidated by her. She won hoh and veto and seems like a very smart player. She makes me nervous. Silence - who???? Brien- ok this kid. I’m doing what I can to get him to trust me. I know he is a loyal person. But am I the person he is loyal to? Or is it someone else? How do I make sure I am that person? Dem - nothing really to say MADISON - I love her sooooooooo much. She’s like the light of my life honestly and if I find out something different I’m gonna cry. Like I feel like a betrayal from her will hurt the most in this game. Andrew - okay first off......damn. I’m aware of his sexual orientation but boy sent me a photo so I could see his tattoos and DAMN!!! I need me a straight one of him. But he is a fun character I like him. Chris - I think I freaked him out when I sent him a long message about how I’m scared of cops. But I didn’t go up week one so that happened. I’m hoping I can work my way into his good graces later. Emma - seems like a sweet gal. I enjoy her. Kori - nothing to say sorry

[thezacharywinters]

Being Home with Zach [Hope x Zach]

@hope-robinson

[Hope]

Hope followed Zach inside of the house and took in his presence next to her. She couldn’t stop herself from turning him around to her and kissing him passionately. “I missed you so much.” She said against his lips as she pressed up against him.

[Zach]

Zach could feel her turning him around and pressing him against the wall. “I missed you so much too.” He kisses her back before picking her up and carrying her to their room and placing her on the bed as he continued to kiss her.

[Hope]

She kissed Zach with all of her heart before resting at his clothes as her tongue ran over his bottom lip and his piercing. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again like that. Ever.”

[Zach]

Hearing her words he could only smile at her as he kissed her back. “I won’t let anyone hurt you like that ever again either. I promise.” He responds before deepening the kiss.

[Hope]

“I know you won’t.” She smiled before feeling him deepening the kiss. Her eyes blazed red as she released pheromones into the air. “Zach...it’s been too long. My body, I need you. Fuck I need you so badly.”

[Zach]

Zach could smell her pheromones and it turned his on as well. His eyes turned red as he pulled her closer to him and just ripped her clothes off. He removed his as well before reconnecting his lips hungrily with hers. The male then lets just the tip tease the other before he pushed himself into her fully making sure that she could feel all of him.

[Hope]

Hope claws left her nails and she flipped them over as her alpha said was taking over. She dug her nails into his skin as she started riding him. She growled as she kissed with him intense passion.

[Zach]

The male let out a moan as he felt her nails digging into his skin when she started to ride him. He kissed her cheek back with just as much passion as he made sure that he constantly hit her sweet spot with each bounce of her hips.

[Hope]

Hope moaned as he hit her sweet spot over and over as she grinded against him and left her scent all over him. Her hand wrapped around his neck squeezing lightly as her eyes flashed black. “You will never touch another girl like that or I swear I will kill her. You are mine Zach. Don’t ever forget that.”

[Zach]

Seeing her eyes flashing black and hearing her words, he nodded his head. “I won’t ever touch another girl like that. I am all yours.” He purrs.

[Hope]

She smirked as she tightened the hold on his neck, “I don’t think I heard you Zach. Who do you belong to?” She asked as her hips moved faster.

[Zach]

“Fuck, I belong to you. Only you.” He moaned when she moved her hips faster against him. Zach could feel himself getting really close as well

[Hope]

“You want to cum for me? Fill me up with all your cum Zach. I know you want to.” She purred.

[Zach]

Zach doesn’t hold back as he came deep inside of Hope. “Fuck Hope…” He moaned her name as he could feel himself releasing all of himself inside of her.

[Hope]

Hope’s claws dug into his neck as she came after him moaning his name. She helped him ride out his high before her eyes returned to normal.

[Zach]

The male could feel her digging her nails into his neck and his eyes turned red. He had been trained in breathing under different pressures so when she had her hand against his neck it didn’t phase him.

[Hope]

“Shit sorry.” She said removing her nails and seeing the blood rushing out of his neck. “Fuck sorry I didn’t mean to do that. Sorry.” She said moving to grab something to clean up the mess.

[Zach]

Zach remained calm since there wasn’t that much blood and she didn’t hit a major artery or vein either. “You are okay. It didn’t hurt, don’t worry.” He reassures her as he applied pressure to keep it from bleeding too much.

[Hope]

“You are bleeding, so yeah it hurt.” Hope dismissed his words as she grabbed the first aid kit. “I don’t know what got into me, I really am sorry.”

[Zach]

“It’s okay Hope, really it is. I have made it through much worse than a few marks on my neck.” He tries to reassure her.

[Hope]

“Stop saying that.” She snapped cleaning his blood before bandaging the wound and standing up. “I fucking hate when you say that.”

[Zach]

“What? You hate when I say what? I know it was an accident Hope. I know it wasn’t on purpose. I am not going to hold it over your head you know. It will heal.” He explains when he hears her snap at him.

[Hope]

“God Zach you aren’t fucking invincible. You are a human. You can die way easier than I can you act like that doesn’t fucking matter. We have a family and if you die that’s it for me Zach. So stop saying shit doesn’t hurt when it does.”

[Zach]

“I am not saying I am invincible. I have been trained Hope. I have been trained to handle pain in a different way than what you are used to. I am not going to die Hope, not when I have you and the kids to live for so just trust me okay?”

[Hope]

“You would be dead. If Grace didn’t help you, you would be. So really...your word...I don’t trust it.” She said sighing as she ran her hands through her hair. “I need to shower.”

[Zach]

“I would have found another way out. I wouldn’t have given up. I would have kept fighting for you.” He responds before letting out a sigh of his own at her words. “Did you want me to join you or..”

[Hope]

“So you are telling me you wouldn’t have fingered her? Great to know.” She nodded. “Sure whatever.”

[Zach]

“I am not saying I would have found another way out I am saying I would never give up trying to find one.”

[Hope]

“I know what you are trying to say. It’s fine...I guess I know how my mom feels. She was always telling my dad that he wasn’t invincible and I didn’t understand you know, because he was...to me I never thought he could get hurt. And I’m sure Emmett looks at you the same way but I love you in a way Emmett doesn’t and I know you aren’t trying to get yourself killed but...I’m a hybrid. The first child...do you think I’m invincible? Do you think I can’t get hurt? Would you be okay if you or someone else hurt me and I said I’m fine? If that guy kept beating me...would you have looked the other way because I don’t feel pain?”

[Zach]

“No, no one is invincible but what use would it be telling you that I got beaten within an inch of my life? That would only make you worry and I don’t want you to have to worry about me. You were already going through a lot and I didn’t want to add to that stress.” He explains.

[Hope]

Hope moved to grab a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Zach. “I was going to leave you Zach. I only needed to sign that paper and if my dad hadn’t shown me what you went through, if he hadn’t told me you got beat within a inch of your life, I would have. If you don’t want me to worry about you then sign that. Cause that will stop me.”

[Zach]

“I don’t mind you worrying about me Hope but after the stress that was already put on you and the baby I didn’t want to add to that. And if I do recall correctly, I asked you if you wanted to see what happened and you told me you wouldn’t be able to handle it and that you didn’t want to because you thought I was all over Grace. I wasn’t going to fight you on that Hope. I was going to give you time to wait until things were stable before offering to show you again.”

[Hope]

“Am I supposed to thank you for that? You giving me time had me almost leave you. Emmett stresses me out, my family does all the time, do you think I would be okay with them letting me believe something that wasn’t true? It doesn’t even matter. This is dumb.” She said shaking her head and heading to the bathroom.

[Zach]

“Letting you believe something that wasn’t true? I was trying to convince you Hope and you didn’t listen to me. You didn’t want to listen to me. What? You want me to forcefully bite you and make you see what happened? I respect you more than that. If you don’t want to see something that is your decision and I chose to respect that until you were ready to see or hear what I had to say. That is all.” He explains before running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

[Hope]

“And what part of I never was going to did you not understand? I was going to leave you Zach. That is what would have happened because you decided to wait. You act like this whole relationship we haven’t done something the other person doesn’t like. Yeah I would have been pissed you bit me but at least you would have saved me some heartache. But you seem pretty glad with the way things turned out so I’m happy for you.”

[Zach]

“Well I didn’t know you were going to leave me because you ran off and I had no idea where you went. You had your phone off so even if i wanted to contact you I couldn’t. I will keep that in mind next time you don’t want to listen to what I have to say then. No, I am not happy that you have that paper with you because that means you lost faith in me and our marriage. If you were really that upset you should have talked to me or tried to listen to what I had to say but instead you chose not to. That was your decision Hope and you don’t want me to be so controlling of you and let you do your own thing. I am not going to force you to be with me if I make you unhappy.”

[Hope]

“I left my phone here so it wasn’t like I went out of my way to ignore you. I forgot it while I was packing and please spare me by saying you didn’t know where I was. I didn’t even want to know but I knew where you are because you and I are shifters so you chose to give me space. Of course I lost faith in you. Was I supposed to not have? I didn’t know the truth so I was allowed to think what I wanted. I did talk to you Zach. I stayed in the house afterwards because I knew that’s what you needed. But if all that could have been solved by you just biting me regardless of anything then yeah I lost faith in you. When I took away your love for me and I came to give it back to you, you certainly didn’t want it but I didn’t give a fuck. Maybe you just sign the paper.”

[Zach]

“I was giving you space because I know you like your space if you didn’t want me to give me space then you should have told me that. You tell me a lot about being honest and upfront yet you aren’t doing that. This is a two way street you know. I can only do so much Hope. I was tired and in pain and honestly I am still in pain due to some of the injuries being a lot slower to heal than others. I don’t have the energy to fight you on this anymore because lately I have been feeling more fatigued than I should be. I love you with all my heart Hope and you know this so please stop acting like I don’t care because I do. You can feel I do even if I can’t outrightly show it.” He explains before feeling a pain in his side as he notices some of the stitches had come loose and he was starting to bleed.

[Hope]

Hope could smell the blood before she saw it and didn’t even comment on it knowing the stupid response Zach would give. She grabbed her phone and called the royal doctor before hanging up. “The doctor is coming. He can give you something for your pain...oh I mean whatever you are feeling since you don’t feel pain.” She said before grabbing one of her throw on dresses and sliding it on just to have something to wear. She cleaned up the room before hearing the doorbell ring and heading downstairs to get it.

[Zach]

“I am not saying I don't feel pain. I am just used to hiding how I feel it is how I was trained I explained this to you. Your pain meter is different than mine. Certain pains I am used to, others not so much.” He responds.

[Hope]

The alpha just rolled her eyes before getting the doctor. She led him upstairs and explained what happened to the doctor before hearing him explain the medicine Zach would have to take and then he started working on the dragon. She took a few steps back to give the two some privacy. She sat on the couch in the bedroom and looked at the two of them.

[Zach]

Zach laid down on the bed and got himself comfortable before the doctor started to work on his side. For whatever reason, it was stinging really bad and he was trying his best to conceal his emotions but his eyes were flashing different colors in distress. His body was starting to heat up as he tried to suppress it all.

[Hope]

Hope could feel something was wrong and while she knew most people knew Zach was a dragon she got up and moved to sit on the bed with him and took his hand to calm him down. She looked at him and gave him a small smile as she squeezed his hand.

[Zach]

Zach’s body started to calm down when Hope took his hand. He couldn’t help but to squeeze it back as his eyes started to return back to normal and his body started to cool down.

[Hope]

She tried to think of something to distract Zach from what was happening and she smiled as she said, “I had a doctors appointment to check on everything and you will be happy to know the doctor confirmed we are in fact having a little girl. So all that protectiveness you have in you you should be prepared to use it.” She teased.

[Zach]

“We are having a little girl?” He asks as his eyes light up and a smile appears on his face. “That means Emmett will have a little sister to spoil. First thing she will learn is how to defend herself from boys.” The male insists with a small smile.

[Hope]

“That is a horrible first lesson.” She laughed shaking her head at him. “The first thing she will learn is that her father is a very special shifter. And that her mother loves him very much. Even if she argues with him a lot.” She teased him.

[Zach]

“Yes, okay she can learn that first then she needs to learn how to defend herself because she will be a special shifter too. Our own little mini dragon..maybe.” He smiles as the doctor finished up and put the medicine on the wound before bandaging it up.

[Hope]

“Will you leave our daughter alone? If I remember correctly my dad never punished you for half of the things you did and we did...you know at the table.” She said before moving to grab her wallet as she thanked the doctor. Since Zach wasn’t royal they were charged but Hope didn’t mind as she saw the doctor out.

[Zach]

“That is true but still, you were old enough to make your own decisions. Our daughter will have the option to do that too.” He teases before thanking the doctor as well before they left.

[Hope]

Hope came back upstairs and sat on the couch before bringing her knees up to her chest as she leaned back against the cushions.

[Zach]

Zach had been waiting for Hope to return to the room but when she didn't, he got up wincing slightly at the pain before going to find her. “Are you okay?”

[Hope]

She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Zach’s voice and moved to help him sit down as she nodded. “Yeah I’m fine, sorry I was just thinking.”

[Zach]

“Thinking about what?” He asks before thanking her as she helped him sit down.

[Hope]

“Nothing it doesn’t matter anymore.” She replied sitting next to him.

[Zach]

Zach let out a sigh, “You know it is hard to try to talk things out if you don’t want to talk about them you know.” He explains with a small laugh before putting his arm around her. “What is bothering you?”

[Hope]

“Really it’s nothing Zach. It’s not about you or our fight. I am honestly so tired of fighting with you. It’s like Grace is winning every time we do. I love you Zach and I don’t know if we can move past all that happened but I am willing to try.”

[Zach]

“I love you too Hope. As long as you are willing to try that is all that I can ask for you know.” He responds before kissing her cheek.

[Hope]

Hope smiled and nodded, “But anyway, it seems my tough dragon is really injured so you know what that means right?”

[Zach]

“What does that mean?” He asks not knowing what she means.

[Hope]

“No more working, staying home, and no more sex until that heals.” She smiled looking at him. “So technically you should just stay in the guest room so you aren’t tempted.” She teased him.

[Zach]

“I thought since we made up I wouldn’t have to stay in the guest bedroom? Plus I should be in our bedroom just in case someone else tries to come after you because you know safety reasons.” He teases lightly.

[Hope]

“Oh sweetie you can’t protect me with those stitches so sadly you will be stuck in another room. It’s only until you heal.” She responded kissing him softly. “You will be fine.”

[Zach]

Zach only huffed unhappily as he pouted. “I can still try you know.” He grumbled.

[Hope]

“Oh no, nope. You could get hurt and we don’t want that.” Hope smiled having a little too much fun with this. “No sex, no cuddling, no kissing.”

[Zach]

Hearing her words, he just frowned. “You are kidding right? I will be better soon. It won’t take that long to heal…” He explains.

[Hope]

“Nope, I want you to get better baby.” She said looking at him. “So you are just going to have to focus on getting better so we can have fun again.”

[Zach]

“But I have obligations to my wife so...I think that comes first don’t you?” He asks.

[Hope]

“I have toys I should be fine.” She shrugged.

[Zach]

“We both know that those toys can’t satisfy you the way my cock can.” He smirked before kissing her neck.

[Hope]

“Hm it will just have to do until you get better.” She smirked back pulling away from him. “You need to focus on you. So no sex Zach. I’m serious.” Hope said.

[Zach]

The male just pouts and grumbles to himself. “But you have been gone for so long and I want you.” He whimpered.

[Hope]

“Aw you want me baby? How badly do you want me?” She asked looking at him.

[Zach]

“I want you so bad.” He moaned while kissing down her neck as he pulled her closer to him.

[Hope]

“Yeah...okay.” Hope said standing up. “No Zach, you will be fine. You can want me so bad when you feel better.”

[Zach]

Zach pouts before pulling her back down on his lap. “I feel fine now. The medicine probably kicked in.” He reassures her as he kisses down her neck and leaves marks as he bucks his hips up against her.

[Hope]

Hope felt him pulling her down to his lap and bit her lip to stop from moaning as she shook her head, “Zach stop, you just got your stitches in you need to take it easy.” She said pushing him back against the couch. “I’m not going anywhere, you can have me as much as you want when you feel better. When you really feel better.”

[Zach]

The dragon huffed as he was pushed back onto the couch. “But I am in pain and that means that you need to help me get better. What if it cures me? You never know unless you try.” Zach insists.

[Hope]

“How is sex supposed to make you feel better? When I could help you get into bed, make you some soup, and put a movie on for you. I think that would be better and then when you feel better you can come back into our room and I will help you.”

[Zach]

“Yeah...that works then. Cuddles, soup and movie sounds good. You will be joining me for that though right?” He asks with a smile as he gets up and follows her to the room.

[Hope]

“No, I will get you situated but then I need to get Emmett and spend some time with him. You aren’t working so we can spend time together later.” She responds taking him to the room.

[Zach]

“Fine, fine, I will take a nap then.” He responds, “But I am holding you to that then.” Zach tells her as they arrive at the room.

[Hope]

Hope moved to the side to let Zach get situated in the room. “I will be making this very hard for you though.” She teased him dropping her dress on the floor. “I’ll see you when I get back baby. I love you.”

[Zach]

Zach bit his lip when he watched her drop her dress on the floor. “Mhm...I am already very hard for you so you don’t have to worry about that.” He responds while palming himself through his pants. “You go and tend to Emmett, I will tend to myself.”

[Hope]

She watched him start to play with himself and smiled, “I can’t wait to have your cock again. We might have to send Emmett to stay with my parents when you get better because we have a lot of making up to do. It’s sucks we can’t do it now.” She pouted before leaving to go change and get Emmett.

#hope #hope044