#idk I’m just tired but I have to stay up another hour to take my next dose of meds but I want to sleeeeeep

[revasserium]

hiii can i pls request zayne with prompt 60 “home”? also love ur writing btw and i look forward to reading more of ur works <333

send me one + a character and i'll write u a drabble

60. home

zayne; 2,264 words; fluff, fem!reader, no "y/n", whipped!zayne, implied sex, fade to black, zayne being a simp as per usual

summary: a friday afternoon

a/n: idk i just love writing dialogue for zayne he's so !!!!

The Hospital - Friday, 4:36PM

Linoleum floors and fluorescent lights; the smell of antiseptic, the rhythmic beeps and hums of heart rate monitors and nebulizer machines. He spends too much time here, knows the flow of the hospital like he knows the web of arteries and capillaries in the human body, the wards branching off of each other, the hustle and bustles of nurses and staff familiar, oppressive.

It is only in the quiet of his own office, with its big windows and even bigger piles of paperwork (be it virtual or physical), that he ever allows himself to relax. He glances at the vase of brightly colored tulips on his desk and allows himself a grin. He remembers the shape of you, can feel the weight of your hand in his as you’d tugged him around the farmer’s market on Sunday morning, pointing at the various vendors, asking to try a bite of this and a bit of that, until finally, you’d come across the flower seller — a middle-aged woman with a sweet smile and a gleeful glint in her eyes as she explained about the language of flowers.

“There’s sunshine in your smile,” you’d repeated, looking down at the yellow tulips before grinning up at Zayne.

“Perfect for you, isn’t it?”

He could hear the tease in your voice, see that familiar playful twinkle in your eyes and he’d raised an eyebrow before wordlessly handing over a few bills from his wallet.

And now the flowers sit, quiet save for all their brilliance, on his desk, in a simple vase filled with crystal-clear water. He stares at it for a second longer before pulling out his phone and swiping it open to your contact.

Coming home early today, he texts. Immediately, a typing bubble appears, and a second later, a short shoomp sound as your reply appears on his screen —

oh? dr. zayne leaving work early??? is the sun setting in the east today?

He chuckles to himself before dialing your line and a second later, your voice answers, a little hesitant.

“Hello?”

“If you’re going to be sarcastic, at least do it in person.”

Shuffling noises, and then — “Not my fault you’re never around for me to be mean to you in person.”

Zayne leans back in his chair with a sigh, “Hn. How’s shopping with Tara?”

“Fun! But my legs are getting tired…”

“I can meet you at the main shopping center around 5:30.”

A moment of quiet, and then “Ah… but that’s still an hour from now…”

Zayne scoffs, “I could stay till 7PM like I usually do —”

“No, no! That’s… that’s not what I meant — I’ll see you at 5:30, then? Don’t be late!”

You end the call before he can protest and for a second, Zayne stares at the screen, the picture of your smiling face fading after another few seconds as the phone screen darkens.

“Doctor? Your next patient is here,” the nurse calls through his closed door.

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” Zayne glances once more at the yellow tulips on his desk before pushing himself up and adjusting his white coat. He’ll have to make a note to change the water soon.

City Center Shopping Mall - Friday, 5:38PM

“You made it!”

Zayne turns at the sound of your voice to find you slightly breathless as you jog up to him, coming to a stop a few steps away.

“You sound surprised.”

A blush dusts your cheeks as you avert your eyes, “I — I’m not! I just thought… you might be a bit later than this.”

Zayne keeps his expression neutral even as he reaches out to take your hand, casually lacing his fingers between yours. He feels you give him a small squeeze and contents himself with letting you take the lead as the pair of you start to wander through the mall, glancing at the window displays.

“Oh… that smells good!” you both pause as the smell of scallions and garlic warms the air. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, “I think it’s coming from that restaurant over there! Tara was telling me that it just opened a week ago and it’s already going viral online for their stuffed pancakes —”

“C’mon then.” Zayne starts off for the restaurant.

“W-wait! We don’t have a reservation! We’ll never get in!”

Zayne keeps walking, gently tugging you behind him till you both round the corner to see a truly impressive line outside the restaurant doors. He walks passed the massive line straight to the front where a smiling girl in a flowery apron stands at an electronic podium, taking down the names of the next party in line.

“Is Liam here?”

“O-oh! Uhm, I think so!” the girl blinks, surprised as she looks down at her reservation list, “May I ask who’s asking?”

“Zayne.”

The girl nods as she slips into the restaurant. Beside him, you look up, confused.

“Do you know someone here?”

Zayne nods but doesn’t explain any further as the smiling girl comes back and motions for you both to follow her.

“Right this way Dr. Zayne! Enjoy your meal!”

Zayne gives your hand a small tug as you stumble after him, the confusion on your face blossoming into something like surprise as the pair of you duck into the bustling restaurant to be greeted by an enthusiastic young man, around Zayne’s age, his sleeves rolled up, a bandana tied around his forehead.

“Zayne! You should’ve told me you were coming!”

“It was a last-minute decision,” Zayne supplies, shaking Liam’s hand firmly, pulling you into his side even as Liam’s eyes slide onto you.

“Oh… is this the girl you were always talking about back in —”

“I think we’ll take a booth in the back, thanks,” Zayne cuts him off with a loud cough, already making for the back of the restaurant. Liam laughs good-naturedly, leading you both to a booth tucked in the very corner, away from most of the noise and bustle.

You inch into the booth, casting Zayne a curious look.

“Is that the owner? How do you know him?”

Zayne doesn’t look up as he glances over the menu before pushing it towards you.

“We went to medical school together. Pick anything you want, it’s all very good.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, “And he decided to become a chef instead?”

Zayne’s lips twitch, “Is that so unbelievable?”

You shrug, looking down at the menu at last, pursing your lips, “No… it’s just… did he drop out of med school then?”

Zayne shakes his head, “No, he was one of the best in our year.”

“Oh. Then…?”

Zayne taps the menu, “I thought you were hungry.”

You blush, looking down, “I am!”

It’s not till the middle of the meal that Zayne speaks again —

“He said it didn’t make him happy.”

You look up, your cheeks bulging with food. Zayne watches you swallow with a concerted effort, reaching out to wipe at your lips with an indulgent smile even as you swat at his hand.

“Liam? About… being a doctor?”

“Yes. And… in a way, I understood him. He said that the kitchen’s always felt more like home.”

You purse your lips, looking at your half-eaten stuffed pancake.

“Then… does the hospital feel like home? To you?”

Zayne chuckles, leaning forward to add some more veggies to your bowl with his chopsticks.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Then…” you trail off, waiting for his answer. There’s a familiar color seeping into your cheeks as Zayne looks you over before his eyes flicker down to your bowl.

“Eat. Or else the veggies will go cold.”

Zayne’s Apartment - Friday, 7:01PM

“I’m so full!” you slump down onto his couch with a long sigh, patting your stomach.

“You were the one who wanted seconds of dessert,” Zayne says, hanging up his coat and turning to join you on the couch. You make a small noise as he lifts your legs and lays them across his lap, his thumbs absently digging into the backs of your calves.

“Ow…” you make to jerk your leg away as he hits a knot but he only grips your ankle and pulls it back with a soft tut.

“Hold still.”

You bury your face in one of the couch cushions as he continues to silently knead at your calf muscles.

“There, better?” his voice is soft now, tugging on the frayed ends of your subconscious as you turn your head to blink at him, a bit dazed.

“Yeah… lots better. Thanks.”

You make to get up but he loops an arm around your back and lifts you easily from the couch, bridal style.

“Zayne?”

“You’re staying the night, right?” he asks, even as he makes for the bedroom.

“I — I am?”

He glances down at your face as he sets you down on his bed.

“I can still drive you home if you want —” He makes to pull away.

“No! I — I can stay. I mean — I want to stay.” You reach up to tug at his shirt, fingers crumpling the material as he stills. You can feel your cheeks blazing as his gaze flickers over your face before settling on your lips.

“Alright then.”

There’s a breath’s pause before you give his shirt another tentative tug and he tips forward with the motion, leaning in to brush his lips against yours.

A soft groan bubbles out of you as Zayne presses you back and back and back, until he’s caged over you, trailing hot lips down the line of your neck, skimming his teeth along your collarbones.

“Mm — Z-Zayne…?”

He pulls back, his eyes a bit unfocused as he looks you over — you can feel the weight of his gaze as it flutters over the planes and ridges of your face, from the arch of your brows to the line of your nose. You can’t help blushing beneath this intense scrutiny, and you tug once more at his shirt, your fingers somehow having inched up to his collar, one of your fingers hooked into the top loop of his buttons.

He reaches up to cover your hand with his, fingers easily curling around your smaller hand.

“What is it?”

You lick your lips, stomach twisting, the base rumble of his voice sending shivers shaking through your body.

“Nothing just… I don’t remember you drinking at dinner so…”

He leans down to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand before dropping it back to his shirt collar.

“No, but… alcohol’s not the only thing that might cause someone to lose hold of their senses…”

You watch as his eyes darken at your intake of breath, the way his grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly.

“Then…” you swallow, eyes fluttering shut as you feel his lips trail back up your neck to your jaw.

“Are you going to make me say it?”

You let out a tiny whimper as he presses a leg up between yours, his breath now hot against the lobe of your ear.

“Say… what?”

Zayne pulls back just far enough to cock an eyebrow at you. And like this, you’ve never seen anything so alluring — the sight of him with his shirt tugged open, his eyes blown dark with desire, his hair slightly mussed from your eager fingers, his lips kissed pink, his cheeks warm with color.

“Hn. Is this my punishment then?”

“For what?”

“For being late to meet you.”

You fight back a grin, “Well… you did say I could be mean to you in person.”

Zayne lets out a sigh, “Alright then.”

You walk your fingers up his chest before pushing him back till you’re both sitting up again. He waits patiently for you to push him down and straddle his hips, slowly tugging open the buttons of his shirt, loosening his tie till it hangs undone around his neck. You lean in to press a soft kiss to his chest and revel in the way he hisses.

His fingers reach up for your hips and you catch them with a quick shake of your head.

“No touching… not till I say.”

Zayne stares at you for a second before relaxing and letting his hands fall back onto the sheets.

And it’s not until you lean down to kiss at his exposed abdomen that he groans, head tipping back. Then, a second later, you find yourself pinned beneath him, breathless, Zayne towering over you with parted lips, the moon casting stark shadows along the lines of his face.

“I said you could be mean… I didn’t say I wouldn’t retaliate.”

After, when the pair of you are curled into each other like pieces of jigsaw puzzle that’s finally found its missing parts, his breath warm along the nape of your neck, Zayne finds himself smiling.

“It’s always been you…” he murmurs, though he’s nearly certain you’re already asleep, your breathing sweet and level, your body pliant and perfect against his.

He laces his hands between yours and drops a soft kiss onto the skin of your bare shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter what I do… or where I do it… because my home has always been… you.”

#love and deepspace #love & deepsace x reader #love and deepspace x you #zayne imagines #zayne x you #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #zayne drabbles #love and deepspace fic #love and deepspace x reader #lads headcanons #lads x reader #l&ds x reader #love & deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #lads zayne #lads zayne x you #love and deepspace fluff #x reader #floofy floof floof #scheduled post

[ghstzzn]

summer, night | choi beomgyu

pairing: choi beomgyu x f!reader wc: 1.9k

summary: when your date ends up being crashed by a thunderstorm, you have no choice but to camp out in your boyfriends car. luckily, he knows just what to do to pass time.

warnings/tags: fluff, smut, unprotected sex, very soft - not so descriptive smut, fingering, pet names (baby, pretty) idk thats it

note: my last re-upload i think?? this is from my deleted account yunho-mp3, so if it seems familiar that's whyyyyhfiawghkrebk. i think ill die if i write another summary

“beomgyu,” you whine, ”i seriously can't do this!”

beomgyu comes to a slow stop on his skateboard, kicking the board up and holding it with one hand. he turns around and faces you, seeing that you were still about fifteen feet behind him, he grins widely. 

“baby, it's not as hard as you're making it out to be.”

“it is!” you reply, falling to a crouch dramatically. “it’s not fair, you are just a pro. i can’t even balance on the stupid thing without you holding me.”

beomgyu makes his way towards you, the grin on his face never falling. “do you want me to hold you then?”

you look up at him and scoff.

“stand up, pretty.” he takes you hand in his and balances you back onto the board. “you’re doing fine, you just keep freaking yourself out and it messes you up.”

he lets go of your hands, leaving you to balance by yourself. beomgyu crouches at your feet, softly moving your feet as you grab onto his shoulders for support. when he stands up again, you feel comfortable in your stance.

“does that feel better?” he asks you. you nod your head in reply and he turns to step back onto his board to demonstrate. “when you want to move, keep this foot planted on the board - make sure to keep your weight on it too.” 

you slowly copy his movements, flailing your arms in the process in fear that you’ll fall if you don't. 

“don’t do that either,” beomgyu catches your arm, setting it down by your side, “you’ll lose balance quicker and lose focus of the weight on your board. now watch, baby.”

beomgyu slowly gains speed on his skateboard, making sure to stay as slow as possible while demonstrating his movements clearly for you. “your turn. slowly.” 

he sits there as he waits for you to start moving, but you remain frozen, staring at the cement in front of you. you were beyond thankful it was later and beomgyu had brought you to a smaller, more quieter skatepark.

“can you just-” you pause, motioning your arms towards yourself. “please?” 

beomgyu lets out a faint sigh as he makes his way towards you once more. you smile to yourself when he places his hands on your waist, “ready?”

“yes!” 

beomgyu holds you upright as you start to press down onto the ground to move. you start slowly so you can gain balance and momentum (and so your boyfriend can keep right next to you) but after a minute, beomgyu has let go of you, unnoticed, and soon you were gliding smoothly around the park. 

“oh my god, babe!” you shout. beomgyu watches, smiling wide at the way you weren’t freaking out. “i’m doing it!”

“see! i knew you could do it.” he shouts back. “slow down a little, baby, i want to ride next to you.”

slowly but surely, even after a few accidents, you and beomgyu were side by side skating - holding hands at some points and laughing with each other when one of you (mostly you) would trip up and fall off the board. 

half an hour later, you and your boyfriend were sitting side by side along one of the ramps in the park, dangling your legs against the drop. the park had emptied out not long ago and you both became tired after skating for a few hours straight. 

beomgyu had many hobbies, from music to photography, and one of them was skating. it wasn’t something he did often but he had mentioned wanting to teach you on your first date together. now, fast forward almost 5 months later, he finally got to. 

“i can’t wait for you to get really good at this so we can skate in my favorite spots together,” he suddenly says, his breath showing in the cold air. “and so you can do sick tricks and i can totally film them then post them to show off how i totally got you to that point.”

“oh, you’re so romantic, beomgyu.” you know your shoulders against his. 

he lets chuckles quietly, muttering how he’s just that good of a teacher.

“but you’re right, it gets easier when i stop thinking about how i'm constantly going to fall.”

you fall deep into conversation, resting your head on his shoulders as you watch him fiddle with the digital camera in his hands. beomgyu brought it to record small parts of the date and take pictures of you both. it’s only been five months since he had asked you to officially be his girlfriend, but you were sure he would be the one you were to spend the rest of your days with. 

you flinch when you feel small droplets of water hit your hand, looking up, you can see the sky softly light up from lightning. 

“was it supposed to storm tonight?” you ask beomgyu.

he digs in his back pocket for his phone, pulling up the weather app when he retrieves it. 

“i could've sworn it was going to be clear skies tonight,” beomgyu replies, flashing his screen towards you, “look. It’s supposed to storm for the next few hours.”

you sit up and stretch your shoulders, rolling your head around to stretch your neck, “well, let’s get back before it starts here. movie at mine?”

“sure. i parked kind of far so we should go like… right now.” a loud thunderclap strikes when he finishes his sentence, making you and beomgyu both jump at the sound.

as you both make your way to beomgyu’s car, the wind picks up and rain falls harder, urging you to speed walk. not even seconds pass before puddles are forming and the rain is coming down harshly. you and beomgyu are practically running and screaming, spitting out profanities when you reach his car and it’s not immediately unlocking when he clicks his fob.

“it’s freezing!” you squeal out, reaching for the knobs inside to turn the heat on. you scream and hide your face in your hands when cold air blows out instead of hot, uncovering your face when the vents start warming up. 

“god, it’s fucking pouring.” beomgyu states.

“we probably shouldn’t drive right now.” you say, watching large puddles form in the parking lot. you turn in your seat to face beomgyu, who was already staring at you. “what?”

“you look really pretty tonight.”

you mess with the sleeve of your sweater, blushing at his sudden words. beomgyu taps at his phone, eventually finding a calming playlist to play, setting his phone down on the center console. you continue to observe beomgyu, your gaze catching onto his strong facial features. his long, fluffy hair that was slightly damp from running in the rain - it was your favorite physical attribute of his, you could lay for hours treading your fingers through his hair, the best part was that he’d always let you. 

“you too.” beomgyu shoots you a confused glance. 

“you also look really pretty tonight.” you whisper.

“i tried. took me all day to get my hair like this and took me three days to pick these.” he replies, motioning towards his ripped jeans. 

you giggle and swat beomgyu’s shoulder, “i should refrain from complimenting you.”

“wait baby, noo, compliment me more!” you shake your head no at his pleas, calling him egotistical. beomgyu leans closer to you, resting his elbows on the console in between you both. “tell me i’m pretty again.”

you place your hands on both of his cheeks, squeezing them softly. “you’re soo pretty, my love. the prettiest ever!”

he laughs loudly at your praises, “outsold. ate. face card never declining.. well, sometimes.”

“hey!” 

you giggle at his response.

“what do you mean sometimes?” beomgyu whines. “mean girl.”

you close the gap in between the two of you, gently laying a kiss on his soft lips. when you pull away, beomgyu goes in for more. “how should we pass time?” he asks in between kisses.

“i feel like you already have something in mind.” 

“we don’t have to, baby. we are in a parking lot so i understand.” he mutters against your lips.

“only if you don’t want to.”

beomgyu shakes his head, “get back there, cutie.”

you smile, climbing over the center console and yelping when beomgyu suddenly pinches your thigh with his nails. he follows you to the back seat, immediately landing his lips on yours before he even situates himself. you comb your fingers through his hair, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. beomgyu wastes no time sliding his hands up and under your flowy miniskirt, grabbing your hips from underneath the material and pulling you under him. 

you let out a quiet moan when beomgyu suddenly grinds into you, the material of his jeans creating more friction. beomgyu trails wet kisses down your neck, pulling the collar of your sweater down to reach your collarbones, sucking at your skin every so often. 

“was this your plan?” you breathe out, your boyfriend looking up and smirking at you. 

“do you mean the rain?” he asks, feigning innocence.

“the sex in the c-” your sentence coming to a stop when beomgyu suddenly lays the pads of his fingers under your panties, circling your clit.

“sorry? i didn’t quite get that, baby.” you roll your eyes and bring him back to your lips, passion burning through more than before as he continues to work you with his fingers.

despite not even being together for half a year, beomgyu knew how to work your body perfectly - even with just his hands he can have you falling apart. it’s no wonder why you found yourself falling head over heels for him so fast. the knot in your stomach grew tighter as beomgyu continued his pace, occasionally slipping his fingers in your warmth, stretching and curling them inside of you. 

“mh- beomgyu, almost.” you moan against his lips.

“go ahead, pretty.” you arch into him as your orgasm hits you, whining into beomgyu’s neck as he rides you through it.

“i don’t have a condom, baby. do you?” he asks.

you shake your head rapidly, whimpering and grabbing at his jeans, “don’t care, just need you please, gyu.”

soon enough, beomgyu is thrusting inside of you, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you take his length. one hand lays under your sweater as the other is against the window to steady himself.

“so good, baby, you’re so good,” he groans, “so pretty and perfect for me.”

it’s not before long when you’re reaching your second high as beomgyu reaches his, falling into your neck as he cums inside of you, groaning and slowing his thrusts to a stop. you try to catch your breath as you run your fingers through his hair, tugging softly as a way to let him know not fall asleep despite the compromising position. he sits up, leaving a few more soft kisses on you.

“you look beautiful like this.” he said, rubbing your side softly. you chuckle and mutter a soft thank you, wincing when he suddenly pulls out to clean both you and himself up. 

the rain hadn’t stopped, but it had gotten way lighter. you laid against beomgyu, comparing his hand size to yours as you both watched the rain continue to hit the windshield.

“gyu?” you break the comforting silence.

“yeah?” 

“thank you for choosing me.”

your eyes meet each other, and you can almost see the genuine love he has for you within his. the way his gaze meets yours is nothing but soft and full of love and adoration for you.

“i should really be thanking you, my pretty girl.” beomgyu replies, voice barely above a whisper as he lays a kiss against your head. “i love you. let’s go watch that movie at your place, yeah?”

#my home-tubatu 💭 #my home-beomgyu ♡ #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu fluff #beomgyu fanfic #beomgyu fic #beomgyu smut #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu x female reader #txt smut #txt fluff #txt fanfic #txt x reader #txt x fem reader

[y13evie]

Hi so I saw that you are open to write for house md and I'd like to ask for a chase fic. Like reader is house's kid and either works at the hospital too or gets admitted there but also knows chase and is in a relationship with him. Plot can be fluffy, smutty and/ or angsty I don't really care but I'd like to know how house would react if he sees them interact etc.

Idk if you see this or like the idea but I wish you the best and I really like your fics

hiiiiii anon!! i love this idea sm and i LOVE ROBERT CHASE WITH MY WHOLE HEARTT. dad house is so sweet and cutesy. i tried my best for u

tags: robert chase x houses kid! reader, one use of y/n, house is stubborn but loves u, just fluff

this is embarrassing. never in your twenty-five years of life would you imagine yourself in the hospital that both your father and boyfriend work at. yet here you are, with a 4 cm laceration on your right hand. the triage nurse had just sent you off and notified you that a doctor will be with you shortly. from your room window you could see dr foreman patting a familiar face on the back, probably saying something along the lines of “this case is yours bud”.

as soon as chase read the report he hurriedly rushed into your room. you shot him a sheepish grin and lifted up your hand to reveal the gash.

“my god, y/n”, he sat down next to you and took your hand gently into his gloved one and inspected the wound. he looked up at you, as if asking for an explanation.

“maybe i shouldn’t garden alone. i picked up this clay pot. the way it was sitting had been bothering me for a couple days now. i’m guess i’m not as strong as i thought i was because i dropped it and as it shattered, it cut me up pretty good.”

chase sighed at your stubbornness, something that had drawn him into you since early in your relationship. he took one of his gloves off and gently stroked your hair. he rambled on about how you should really be more careful and call him if you needed anything too laboring done. you weren’t listening. you were staring into those blue eyes. you weren’t into all that cheesy romance stuff but god, those eyes are stunning. your moment was quickly put to an end when harsh tapping could be heard from outside your window. you knew that sound from anywhere.

“you decided to be the one to doctor on MY kid”

house, or dad as you call him, hastily shuffles into your room and gives you both a judgemental look. robert rolls his eyes,

“foreman gave me the case first, i'm just doin’ my job”.

house hobbles over to check your vitals even though it’s a minor issue compared to what they deal with on a daily basis. you know your dad loves you and cares but he’s not the best at verbally expressing it. you knew he would probably just sit there and observe, so you turn back around to your extremely, worried boyfriend.

“soooo” you drag out the ‘oh’ sound, to show him you’re not worried. “whatcha doin after work handsome?”. chase runs a hand through his blonde hair and lets out a long, exasperated sigh.

“i was planning to go on a cute and sweet date with you, but instead i’m gonna be dr. chase for another 12 hours”.

he sounded tired but you knew he was more than happy to care for his darling. just as you two were planning out your evening, your father and robert’s pagers began harmonizing. chase gives a quick but passionate kids to your temple. house makes his gag be known, sticking a finger in his mouth for dramatic effect.

your dad lingers in the room for a moment, giving your shoulder a squeeze. it’s still gonna take time for him to adjust to the fact his child is dating his co-worker. but you’re not his little baby anymore and he knows it.

when he heads out his parting words are,

“i’ll have someone stitch you up kid, stay put”.

you lean back in the bed and continue to add pressure to your wounded hand. a few minutes pass and your sweet boyfriend stops by again. and takes a seat at the stool beside your bed. he has the tools to stitch up your hand. to distract you from the pain, chase sparks a conversation.

“your old man..” he chews the inside of his cheek. you know exactly what he’s gonna ask. “does he like me? and not as a co-worker. does he think i’m a good fit for his kid?”. your heart sank at the thought of robert thinking he’s not enough. truth is, your dad did like him. though he would never admit it, the fact robert makes you happy, makes your dad happy. he’s real bad at showing it, but you know it’s true.

“he’s a grump, chase. he likes you. he might never admit it. but the fact he hasn’t beaten you to death with that cane of his really says something.”. you can tell your reassurance helped. you loved robert, and he loved you too. before you knew it the stitches were finished. he pulled out a sling from a cabinet so you won’t irritate the stitches too much.

“hey, i’ll get your discharge papers. we’ll have you out of here soon”.

chase pressed a kiss to your lips this time, and he stayed there for a minute. hand on your jaw to keep you steady. you moved your lips in unison, running your free hand through his hair. a sharp pain stabbed your hand and caused you to pulled away and gasp. he reminded you to take some pain medication once home.

before he headed out the door, robert whips around and sternly demands,

“i don’t ever wanna see you in here again.”

#house md x reader #house md #robert chase x reader #robert chase #robert chase x you #house m.d. #house m.d. x reader #reqs open #i love robert chase #he’s so baby girl i love him #this idea is so cute anon

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

This is random as shit but I think it’s funny 😭

Can I get some headcanons for Jeff, ben and Toby when their (Gn or masc) s/o is in the kitchen, just in the middle of the night, either staring off into nothing or walking in circles; I’m talking like- 3am, eating coco pops or smarties from the bag/box, walking around the room, staring at the floor. And their s/o being like.. ridiculously tired and still drinking redbull/Monster to keep them awake.

I’m autistic and I do it sometimes because idk?? But yeah this was a funny idea and your writing is great, so I’ve come to you! Don’t worry about these if you don’t wanna write them. Have a nice day/night :)

I'm so glad you like my writing! I do not have autism, but I do struggle with maladaptive daydreaming so, i demonstrate behaviors similar to this! I based some of the headcanons off of that so i hope it isnt too far off 😭 🙏

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

Toby is up and down a lot during the night, so he'd probably run into you sometime during one of his many bathroom/snack runs

At first he thinks you're also on a snack run, but when he notices that you are just kind of...staring off into space he becomes suspicious

He steps closer to inspect your behavior, before shrugging and going along with it, grabbing his snack and heading back upstairs, and going back to bed

When he's in a trance like that, he usually doesn't like to be bothered, so he figured he'd just leave you to it

It's about an hour and a half later the next time he wakes up, he stretches, gets up, and walks downstairs

He still finds you there in the kitchen, completely intranced and still slowly eating your snacks

He puffs out his lips and tilts his head with a "hm."

He walks up to you and taps your shoulder, startling you a bit

"Sorry." He says, coming to place both hands on your shoulders "you've been here for over an hour, you ok?"

You nod and rub your eyes "yeah, sorry for worrying you" you say with a yawn

He smiles and kisses your forehead "it's ok, now that I know you're alright"

He takes your hands in his and pulls you towards him gently "now come back to bed, im touch starved" he says with a grin

Jeff

Jeff is a very light sleeper, so the second he feels you shifting away from him, he's up

By the time he rubs the sleep from his eyes, you are already out the door, leaving him slightly annoyed that you didn't notice him waking up with you

He throws on a shirt and walks down the stairs, seeing you pacing around with a bag of smarties in hand, eating them as your mind seemingly drifts off into space

He sighs and rubs his face some more, before walking up behind you and trapping you in a hug, placing three warm kisses to your shoulder "what are you doin' up this early loser?"

You exhale loudly and bring a hand up to rub his head "just....thinking..." you mutter

He kisses you again, this time on the cheek "alright, I'll quit buggin' you. Come back to bed soon, though. You know I can't sleep well without you"

He presses yet another kiss to your cheek, before letting go of you and going back upstairs

When you finally decide to head back upstairs yourself, you grab an energy drink so that maybe once jeff falls asleep again, you can come back downstairs and think some more

When you get back into the room, jeff is laying on the bed, seemingly asleep, until he notices your presence

He moves his head to look at you, before sitting up and stretching "pulling an all nighter, huh?" he asks, gesturing to the energy drink in your hands

You glance at it, before nodding "yeah, I guess so"

He sighs tiredly and yawns "alright, i reckon I'm staying up too, then" he says with a grin

BEN

BEN, having no need to sleep, rarely does so

He instead uses his nights to play video games or catch up on some work he fell behind

Tonight, when he had thought you'd fallen asleep, he got up and turned on his PC, pulling up steam and looking for a new game to play

While he was doing this, you got up and snuck out of the room, going downstairs to do your usual routine of just pacing around and staring into space

He plays his new game for quite a while, before getting bored and looking behind him to check on you

When he sees that you are not there, an eyebrow is raised

He pauses the game and gets up from his chair, looking around for you in various places you'd be in

He finds you in the gym, pacing around. He assumes you picked the gym because it's mostly empty, so you won't be disturbed

He walks over to you and steals a handful of your snacks "whatcha doing" he asks with his mouth full

"Thinking" you reply, not bothering to stop moving around

"Kay, well don't stay up too late, I wanna play animal crossing with you tomorrow" he says, squishing your face and kissing your squished up lips

He is about to go out of the gyms door before he pauses and looks back at you "also, bring me a soda once you're done" he then steps out, closes the door, and goes back upstairs

Hes such a little shit, i apologize for his behavior

#creepypasta #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #slender mansion #creepypasta x female reader #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #toby erin rogers #ticci toby x you #ticci toby x male reader #ticcy toby #jeff the killer x you #jeff the killer x male reader #jeff the killer x reader #jeffery woods #jeff the killer #ben drowned x y/n #ben drowned x you #ben drowned creepypasta #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned

[https-yeonjun]

honeymoon avenue (k.th)

wc. 2812

genre. angst

tags. established relationship, mention of food, mentions of infidelity, insecurities, toxic relationship, a little aged up but ages are not specified, pet names (baby), taehyun is just really an asshole in this idk

a/n. this is kind of a repost but i finally edited this!! happy taehyun day!!!!!! part two will be up hopefully soon but it's a stand alone fic. this is based on honeymoon avenue by ariana grande, the song of my life <3333

more of my work

“thank you so much for having us.” you greet taehyun’s mother at the door about to leave their house. you’re holding a tupperware full of leftovers that she insisted you take with you. “taehyun doesn’t look like he eats much at home, so why don’t you guys take this with you?” you tried to laugh off her comment, but she pushed the bowl into your hand.

“are you sure you guys can’t spend the night?” she turned to her son, “they said the rain was going to get worse.”

“we didn’t bring anything to stay the night with.” you interjected.

one of taehyun’s best traits, in your opinion, was how much he cared about his family. simultaneously, his worst trait was his inability to say no to his mother.

“yeah, i don’t have to tell you how she gets when she doesn’t do her nighttime routine,” he joked. they both laughed while you stood in silence, looking back at the car, wishing more than anything that you could disappear from this place and erase this entire night from your memory.

“will you guys come to the house tomorrow before you leave?”

“prob—” taehyun began, but you cut him off.

“we don’t think so,” you feigned an apologetic tone. “we have to get out really early.”

“yeah, but we’ll try.” he finished.

you gave his mother a tight lipped smile and allowed her to say goodbye to her son for what felt like the fifteenth time that evening.

you walked to the car together silently.

you sat in the car together silently.

you watched as his mother entered the house and closed the front door.

he started the car, set up the gps, and turned on the radio, without saying so much as a word to you. you scoffed and he quickly turned the volume down.

“what?” he asked with genuine confusion, but there was an undercurrent of frustration beneath the surface.

“seriously?” you countered.

“what?” a hint of defensiveness crept into his voice.

“i can’t believe you said that.”

“what did i say?”

“you completely threw me under the bus with your mom. you know how she gets. please tell me how i get.” your words were sharp, biting with accusation, and taehyun rolled his eyes at your comment, annoyance flickering across his face.

“i’m really tired. i don’t want to do this right now.”

you watched him as he pulled out of the driveway and made his way out of the neighborhood, feeling the tension simmering between the two of you.

it was another rainy day and you were driving into your hometown to surprise your parents. it was hour six of your drive when your phone died and you noticed you were almost out of gas. you stopped at a nearby diner and asked around for a charger. taehyun was sitting by the window, focused on his computer, with papers sprawled on the table in front of him, a half drunk cup of coffee beside him. for the first time in thirty minutes, he looked up when he heard your voice and laid his eyes on quite literally the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life. or so he tells everyone whenever he recounts this story.

“hey,” he called out to you. “i have a charger you can use.”

you sat opposite him in the booth, and he took this as an invitation to introduce himself to you. “hey, i’m taehyun by the way.”

“and i’m forever grateful to you taehyun.”

“your parents named you “forever grateful”?” he laughed at his joke and you joined him.

“yeah, it was my great grandmother’s name.” you joked as well. “actually, my name is y/n.”

against your protest, he ordered food for you and you sat with him for hours, completely forgetting that you were supposed to be surprising your parents that evening. when the rain cleared up, you took your phone from him, but not before asking for his phone number.

and now you’re both sitting in a rental car, stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic. the air is thick with anticipation of the impending thunderstorm. you noticed the tension etched in your boyfriend’s features. frustration creased his eyebrows, his jaw clenched with each passing moment of immobility. his fingers tapped restlessly on the steering wheel as his impatience grew with each second you spent at the traffic light.

“what’s wrong?” your gaze turned towards him, searching his face for answers.

“nothing,” he responded tersely as he made an abrupt u-turn.

“tae, what are you doing?” a furrow formed between your brows as you watched his erratic behavior.

“nothing, baby,” he sighed. his eyes remained fixed on the road.

“why are you turning around?”

“too much traffic. this way is faster.” a hint of annoyance crept into his words, but that didn’t stop you from persisting.

“the gps just said you should turn around again.”

“i know where we’re going, baby, this way is faster.” though his voice was firm, there was a note of uncertainty in his eyes that betrayed his facade of confidence.

“tae, are you sure?”

“i don’t need you fucking second guessing me, y/n?” he snapped. you flinched at the tone of his voice, the sting of his anger hitting you like a physical blow. so you quickly muttered apologies to try and ease the weight of his irritation that was pressing down on you like a burden.

“fuck, baby.” he softened. “i’m sorry, i’m just really tired and i want to go to bed,” his hand reached out for yours in a gesture of reconciliation, but you gently pushed him away. 

“it’s fine, let’s just get home.”

“you further shrunk in your seat. things weren’t always this tense between you and taehyun, obviously. at first and for the longest time, he was so perfect – your relationship was so perfect. he was so thoughtful and sweet. there was never a morning where you woke up without seeing a text message from him. even when he was busy, he always made time for you – he always made you a priority.

but a year and a half into your relationship, you noticed him pulling away from you. it started out as him arriving late to dinners to him not even bothering to show up sometimes. you noticed him sneaking away to take work calls right before bed. you could go days without seeing or speaking to each other. some days he was out of the house before you woke up and you could hear him sliding into the shower in the early hours of the morning.

he wasn’t as involved as he was before and nothing hurt more than feeling like you were in a relationship with yourself.

and you did try to bring it up to him, on multiple occasions. but he would always shut it down with every excuse under the sun.

“i already said i was sorry, baby.” he groaned at you when you asked where he was. you got home from the restaurant he was supposed to meet you an hour ago to find taehyun on the couch in front of the tv. “i just wish you told me before i wasted an hour waiting for you.” you tried to push the tears back, but it was no use. “you know i’m up for that promotion. i was at work and it just slipped my mind.” he continued. he turned off the tv and walked out of the room, leaving you alone on the couch, tears staining your new dress.

sometimes you felt like maybe you were the problem. maybe you were the one who wasn’t working hard enough to keep him interested. you weren’t doing enough to make him stay.

and that brings you to tonight. you planned this trip to his hometown to visit his parents because he hadn’t seen them in months. honestly, you never really got on great with his mother, but you always told yourself that because she’s important to him, you wanted – you needed – to get on her good side for him.

you did everything for him.

everything was going to be perfect at this dinner. you were going to wow his parents – his mother in particular. you and him were going to get back on the right lane. everything was going to be perfect.

to your surprise, when you walked into the dining room, you saw an extra place setting. “i thought it was a family dinner, are we expecting someone else?” you asked your boyfriend, who just shrugged in response. he gave his mom the bottle of wine that you picked out, and you tried to ignore the idea that something bad was going to happen.

everything was going well. you were in the kitchen with his mom talking about the renovations that they had done on the house last month, while taehyun and his dad were in the living room. the doorbell rang and you stupidly and naively volunteered to get it.

and that was when you saw her, holding the tupperware you were currently nursing in your lap, with a big smile on her face. you turned around to see your boyfriend and his mother rush to the door. his mom squealed, “oh honey, i’m so glad you could make it.”

taehyun, on the other hand, looked like he just saw a ghost.

after ten minutes of tense silence, taehyun finally broke it. “you know, you could have been a lot nicer.”

“i could have been a lot nicer?” your tone was incredulous, eyebrows raised in disbelief at his audacity.

“yeah, you could have been a lot nicer to my mom. she’s really trying, you know.”

you wanted to laugh at him for insinuating that if his mother had any interest in being nice to you, tonight was the night she decided to make an effort. “she hates me,” you sighed, the weariness evident in your voice.

“she does not hate you.”

“she invited your ex-girlfriend to dinner.”

“she’s a family friend.”

“she tried to undermine me,” you began, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

“you’re being ridiculous,” he said under his breath.

“and you do nothing to defend me every time she makes a snide comment about me.” the lump in your throat growing with each word.

he chuckled, the sound lace with bitterness. “okay, what did she say?”

“you want me to recount all the times your mother has verbally abused me since we started dating?”

“verbally abused,” he repeated, mockingly. “that’s definitely a phrase.”

“don’t do this to me,” you pleaded, feeling the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. “taehyun, i sat for three hours while your mother broke down everything she hates about me and compared me to your ex-girlfriend that she invited to the dinner that i planned for you. so please don’t try to negate the way i feel.”

his silence only fueled your anger, the frustration boiling over inside you. “god, i don’t even know why i’m doing this.”

“doing what?”

“trying to make sure that this thing works.”

“this thing?”

“our relationship–” you exhaled, the weight of your words hanging in the air. “being in this relationship makes me so unhappy. and i– i keep trying to make this work. i keep trying to make you happy and you don’t give me anything in return.”

his scoff cut through the air like a knife, but he remained silent, refusing to engage with you. 

“can you please say something?” you begged him.

“i don’t give you anything in return?”

“no tae, you don’t.”

“i didn’t realize this relationship was a fucking business transaction.”

god, why do you always do this?” you threw your hands up in exasperation.

“what am i doing?” he scoffed again.

“every time i try to talk to you, you always try to make me feel like shit.”

“i’m sorry, i’m just not seeing the problems that –” his excuses grated on your nerves, pushing you to your breaking point.

“are you cheating on me?” you asked quietly, the words hanging heavy in the air between you.

“what?” his voice carried a note of surprise, but his eyes remained fixed on the road ahead.

“are you cheating on me?” you repeated, turmoil brewing inside you. you studied his face intently, searching for any hint of deceit.

“you’re fucking ridiculous, i’m not having this conversation right now.” his response was curt, his tone was laced with irritation as he refused to meet your gaze.

“why? because you’re fucking your ex? why can’t you answer my question?” your voice rose, desperation creeping into your voice as you implored him to give you a straight answer.

“no, i’m not fucking my ex.”

“but you are cheating on me?” you tried to calm yourself down, your voice returning to its regular volume.

“no, i’m not cheating on you.” he briefly turns to look at you. “i’m not fucking cheating on you.” he made another abrupt turn, his grip tightening on the steering wheel.

“where the fuck are we going?”

“i told you, i’m trying to fucking go home.” he hit the gas, the car lurching forward. you could tell that you pissed him off.

“then why aren’t you following the gps?”

“because i know the fastest way to get home, just fucking trust me.”

“stop the car.” you demanded.

“what?”

“you heard me. stop the car. right now.” you told him again, you heart pounding in your chest as you steeled yourself for what comes next. he slowed down and brought the car to a halt, pulling over at the side of the road. without a word, you got out of the car.

“can you get back into the car?”

“no, i’m going to find my way home.”

“y/n, please stop being ridiculous and just get in the fucking car.”

“can you please stop calling me ridiculous?”

“well, if you stopped acting ridiculous, i wouldn’t have to call you that.” he countered. “can you please just get in the car? let’s go home.”

you turned to face the side of you. the rain was beating down on you, helping you mask the tears streaming down your face. “i can’t keep doing this. i don’t want to do this anymore,” you repeated to yourself, your voice barely above a whisper. you don’t really know if you’re talking to him or to yourself but the words were heavy with finality.

he unbuckled his seatbelt and met you on the side of the road. he wrapped his arms around you. “you don’t want to do what? go home?”

“i don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.” you turn around to face him

“come one, don’t say that. please just get in the car. we can talk about this when we get home.” he pleaded with you. the threat of actually losing you sobered him up quickly.

“get home? tae, we don’t even know where the fuck we’re going.” you screamed in his face, but he didn’t even flinch. he just wrapped his arms around you and you fell into his shoulder at his embrace.

“you’re gonna get sick, baby. please let’s just talk about this in the car.” you nodded and complied with him, getting back into the car.

you both sat in silence in the parked car at the side of the road.

“i’m sorry,” he finally broke the silence.

“you can’t keep saying that after you hurt me.”

“i know, i know, but i don’t want to lose you,” he confessed.

“i’m sor–” he started but shut up when he saw you wiping the tears from your face.

“did you know?” you looked up at him. “did you know that she was going to be at the dinner?” he looked back at you blinking. you took his silence as an answer.

“my mom told me a few days before we got here, but i didn’t think she would actually invite her or that she would actually show up.” it was your turn now to not give him an answer. “i never cheated on you. you have to believe me.”

“i don’t know, tae.” you sniffed. “i don’t know what to believe. i just know that i’ve never felt this sad ever in my life and i don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“i don’t want to lose you.” you could see the tears build up in his eyes, even though he looked away from you quickly.

“we’re both miserable in this relationship. this isn’t working for either of us anymore. we should just get out while we don’t completely hate each other. take a break from each other.”

“okay,” he softly conceded.

and with that he put the car back in drive, and followed the route back to the hotel. the only sound in the car is the pitter patter of the rain on the window.

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#fay's works #taehyun #taehyun angst #kang taehyun #txt #txt angst #tomorrow x together angst #tomorrow x together #kang taehyun angst #taehyun x reader #taehyun smut #taehyun hard hours

[lettersfromaphrodite]

[3.42]

― pairing : Yunho x Fem! Reader ― genre : fluff + smut ― content warnings: grease! au - therefore it's the 50's, Yunho smokes weed and has a motorbike, mentions of a car accident but it’s superficial and no one of the main characters is involved, thigh riding, unprotected sex, idk how to describe it?? acrobatic sex??? idk you’ll read it, kinkshaming will not be allowed, inspo for that came from an italian song' MV ― word count : 7.830

― notes : this fic looks familiar?it is! I’m reposting ALL my works on this brand new blog and therefore please, bear with me! as always, askbox is always open and feedbacks are always welcome 💌

«I swear, if I hear that song another time, I’m gonna scream bloody murder.» you addressed your colleague with an annoyed groan as you both were busy cleaning one of the now empty tables of the Frosty Palace, the local diner where you worked. She sighed in silent agreement, both of you wondering why your boss decided to let customers choose what to play from the jukebox even during Saturday nights, when the diner was really busy and crowded with people.

«Here comes trouble,» she announced with an amused smile on her face, as she took the plates you were busy balancing on your forearm, before nodding towards a group of guys which just arrived, busy taking their seats. «they’re all yours.» she chanted, quickly leading back into the kitchen with an amused smile.

«That traitor.» you mumbled, before taking your small notebook from your apron’s pocket and taking a deep sigh. Of course you perfectly knew the loud group that just arrived, since you’ve had a crush on Seonghwa since you could remember. His dark and mysterious aura always charmed you, and you could not help but to grow interested in him. 

However, your mother’s advice not to get involved with bad guys always resonated in your head anytime you caught a glimpse of them and their leather jacket or motorbikes, and therefore, you’ve never tried to approach any of them beside work related matters. Their table was incredibly loud but also incredibly polite to you, and if you were to be honest, they probably were the best and most polite customers of the entire evening. Your only interaction with Seonghwa consisted of your eyes briefly meeting, before eventually, you went back to your previous working hurried pace. Low-key, you were glad that you couldn’t stay at their table for more than the essential time needed to take their orders, because you knew that you probably looked like a mess: you’ve been working for nine hours straight, your hair was a mess – even if tied up in a ponytail, and you were sure you had bags under your eyes due to how tired you were. You just wanted to go home and sleep.

«Are you coming to Jisung’s party?» your colleague – and friend, asked you, handing you a glass of water as you were both spending your first shift break leaning against the counter – few steps away from Seonghwa’s table. You quickly hummed, shaking your head while swallowing the water, silently wondering if that was how god’s nectar tasted like. 

«When is it? I’ll probably have to work.» you asked her, unaware that your small talk had caught the attention of both the boy you had a crush on and one of his friends’.

«Next Friday!» she enthusiastically said, her eyes glancing at the diner’s entrance door every now and then in order to check up if some new customers arrived, while yours kept glancing across the room, to see if anyone needed anything else. «Please, come with me! I promise I’ll cover your shifts anytime you want!» she quickly added, as if she managed to read in your mind the fact that you were once again about to say no. 

Perhaps, you agreed because you were extremely tired. Perhaps, you agreed because as your eyes were quickly scanning the room, you shortly locked your gaze with the boy with faded pink hair that was casually sitting next to Seonghwa, with his back leaned against the wall and his black leather jacket draped over his wide shoulders as he uninterestedly rolled a cigarette while occasionally glancing at you. 

«Don’t look at their table, but,» you lowered the tone of your voice, getting closer to your friend and pretending she had something in her hair. «who’s the one sitting next to Seonghwa?» «Yunho.» she immediately whispered back, without blinking or thinking about it. Then, with a surprised gasp, she simply stared at you with wide amused eyes and her mouth slightly open, the sudden action making you giggle. «I can’t believe you’re not asking about Seonghwa!» she whispered, and just like that, new customers arrived and both of you went immediately back to work.

Seonghwa and his friends left around midnight, and as you were cleaning their table, the bright green bill neatly placed under Yunho’s coaster caught your attention; your eyes widened slightly and you immediately looked around just in case it was a joke, but nothing seemed out of place. You folded the banknote, placing it in your apron’s pocket, and as you were collecting the dishes, you saw Seonghwa and his friends talking right outside the diner’s windows, illuminated by the street lamps.

Surprisingly enough, instead of focusing on Seonghwa, your eyes were curiously looking at Yunho, the tall boy that earlier was looking at you; he was quietly chuckling at something his friends said while casually sitting on top of his motorbike, the cigarette he previously rolled was carefully balanced between his lips as he looked for a lighter in his leather jacket’s right pocket. You felt strangely hypnotized by the small action of him lighting up his cigarette before blowing out a puff of smoke while his head was thrown back, but you quickly snapped out of it as soon as one of your colleagues called your name, asking for help.

The walk back home was quick and mostly made by inertia, due to how tired you were feeling; you mindlessly unlocked the door and closed it with a yawn, before taking off your shoes and collapsing on the couch – since your bed was too far away. «Come on,» you weakly encouraged yourself, trying to ignore the numb feeling of exhaustion spreading from your legs all the way to your body. «take a shower and then go to sleep.» you mumbled, «In five minutes…» you were about to drift off, when Yunho’s piercing gaze flashed behind your closed eyelids; your eyes snapped open, and you immediately reached in the back pocked of your jeans, taking out the 10 bucks tip.

A small smile unexpectedly made way on your lips, wondering if he left the tip because he saw you working your ass off or because he had other reasons to do so.  Funny how a banknote helped waking you up, but you placed it on the coffee table in front of your couch, and headed towards the shower. 

Of course, your colleague knew about your crush on Seonghwa and of course, she wouldn’t shut up about Yunho for the most part of the week. 

«I can’t blame you,» she said, cleaning the counter as you were about to close the diner. «He’s hot. And he seems so strong, I bet he can fuck you against-» your colleague’s – and friend, words were immediately stopped by your hand on her mouth, reducing the remaining of her sentence into an inaudible mess of muffled words. 

«Not a word, or I won’t come to the party.» you said, blushing about the intrusive thoughts that thanks to her, were now vivid and oh, so realistic in your head. 

«Are you a virgin?» she whispered, even if no one else beside the two of you were in there; you shook your head, explaining her that beside your first boyfriend in high school, you’ve never had any other experience, nor romantically, nor sexually. 

«I just completely focused on studying, and now here I am: the best waitress in town.» you joked with a sad smile, mentally going through all the future life plans you had which you eventually had to reconsider, and she immediately let go of the glass she was cleaning in order to walk towards you.

«Come on!» she cooed, «It’s the 50’s, love. Fall in love, live a little.» she smiled, her slim arms snaking around your waist. 

«It’s not like-» as you were about to retort that you weren’t that interested in romance since all you managed to have crushes on were obviously bad boys who carried a concerning amount of red flags everywhere they went, she was quick to silence you, once again.

«I bet we’re gonna have fun, trust me, I’m the expert here.» she winked at you, and you nodded with an amused, exasperated sigh.

Jisung’s party was chaotic, and you deduced that it couldn’t be otherwise since he was the most popular and richest kid in town; he spent the evening next to his girlfriend, and you wondered if you would ever be as lucky as her since, judging by Jisung’s looks, he seemed pretty much head over heels for her.

An elbow delicately nudging against yours quickly made you turn your attention back to your friend, which had her head tilted towards the backdoor and she was pointing towards it with her eyes; she looked quite funny, but as soon as you saw what she was desperately trying to point at, you felt your knees go weak.

Seonghwa was standing with his friends, looking as good as always but once again, you felt your eyes naturally drift towards Yunho’s figure, casually leaning against the wall with a red plastic cup probably filled with punch as he was talking with one of his friends – a little shorter with raven black hair. You honestly tried to prevent your eyes from scanning his body from his chest, to his long legs - which looked sinful in high waisted skinny jeans, and as your gazes met, you quickly looked away as quickly as a wild flame has just burnt you. You felt a blush creeping on your cheeks, your heart picking up speed in embarrassment by the fact that Yunho had basically caught you ogling at him, but also secretly turned on by the sudden smirk that he had plastered on his face.

From there, the night went by rather quickly. Surprisingly enough, you managed to have fun, even if it was probably thanks to the few cups of alcohol you drank during the night; you were tipsy – drunk enough to laugh about almost everything but sober enough to still stand without falling on your face, and so that’s how you found yourself in Jisung’s wide garden, sitting next to your friend, listening to two random boys blabbering and flirting with the two of you.

Despite the fact that you were sitting in front of your friend’s crush with the promise of somehow help her out, you never tried to hide the fact that you were absolutely uninterested in his friend’s obnoxious advances, and your eyes kept glancing at Yunho, which much to your shame, caught you the most of times.

Yunho was incredibly beautiful, and he absolutely had no reason to affect you like that; especially, he had absolutely no reason to look so hot as his lips closed on the filter of the joint that him and his friends were passing around. As they were laughing together, you figured that you probably would have wanted to try it, too.

«It’s your turn.» the boy in front of you said, and your eyes immediately fell on the joint that he was carefully handing to you, the filter pointed towards you and the smell of weed invading your nostrils. You politely shook your head, refusing the offer, aware that there was only one particular person that you wanted to try smoking weed with.

You knew Yunho was approaching you, even if you were not looking at him anymore. You could feel his gaze on you since the moment you excused yourself from the conversation you were having with your friend, and all you could feel was anticipation. If you were to be honest, you didn’t do it in order to get his attention – not entirely, but you really needed a break from hearing your friend and her crush flirting with each other and his friend obnoxiously trying his luck with you; so this is why you walked past Yunho and his friends heading to the backyard, where a significant less number of people were chatting.

With a sigh, you closed your eyes, your back and your head delicately pressed against the wall as you waited; you waited both for your incoming headache not to ruin the little party time you had left, and both for something – anything, to happen right before you had to go back home. Your silent wishes must have been heard from some kind of celestial entity, since few minutes later, Yunho was casually standing in front of you, one hand placed on the wall next to your head, and the other still holding what remained of the joint that him and his friends were previously smoking.

«You’re not very subtle at stealing glances.» Yunho smirked, and you felt your knees go weak since it was the first time you were hearing his voice, and you definitely didn’t expect for it to be so deep and melodic.

«Maybe I didn’t want to be.» you answered, your voice coming out weaker than you wanted, and the alcohol mixed to the weed you breathed made you act a little bolder than you really were. Yunho’s smirk was all you could think about, the cologne he wore still managed to intoxicate your senses even if he was holding a joint between your bodies; everything you wanted was to kiss him, to feel his skin against yours even if deep down, you knew that boys like him inevitably lead to a heartbreak. Yunho looked like everything you were not, and at the same time, he looked like everything you wanted.

«So, angel face,» Yunho said, his voice a little bit deeper than before, he slowly raised the joint’s filter few centimetres in front of your lips, while his eyes hungrily and repeatedly glanced from your eyes to your lips, «do you want to try this,» he added, nodding to the joint before leaning a bit closer, so that your noses were almost touching and you could feel his soft breath against your skin as he spoke, «or do you want to try me?» your breath hitched at that final question and Yunho probably noticed but, being the gentleman he actually is, he settled for not saying anything and just wait for your answer, a smug smirk plastered on his lips as he made you feel almost naked under his gaze; you had to restrain yourself in order not to grab his leather jacket and close the small distance between you, and you wondered what was wrong with you.

“Am I really that drunk or am I just incredibly horny?” you thought, licking your lips and feeling almost suffocated by the tension that was surrounding both your bodies as the two of you were in your own small bubble.

«Mommy said boys like you are bad news.» you answered with a quiet mumble, knowing he would have heard nonetheless, thanks to the almost non-existent space between you.

«Oh, really?» Yunho cooed, tilting his head, action that you slightly mirrored in the opposite direction while waiting – hoping, for him to kiss you. «Why don’t you find out if that’s the truth?»  you were about to kiss him, you desperately wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips against yours and for him to completely push you against the wall while making out and feel his body pressed flush against yours but of course, your friend had to unintentionally ruin the moment by calling for you, but despite your name being called, neither you nor Yunho looked away.

Yunho grabbed your chin in his hand in a gentle but firm action, the filter of the cigarette pressing against your cheek, and you swore your heart was about to climb its way out of your body as Yunho hinted the action of bringing your face closer to his, but eventually stopped as your lips were few millimetres apart.

«Feel free to come looking for me, when you have an answer.» he mumbled, and you were sure that your lips brushed against each other few times, the faint sensation lingering on your lips from the same moment when Yunho detached himself from you, winking at you while taking a step back and innocently smiling as if he wasn’t about to kiss you in the backyard of Han Jisung’s mansion during one of his parties. You walked towards your friend with a hammering heart, and occasionally touching your lips in order to quench the lust you were feeling; you spent your way back home wondering if you could get drunk on another person’s cologne, because all your senses were focused on the feeling of throbbing desire you felt towards Yunho.

Despite your efforts of avoiding thinking about the party and completely focus on work, you still found your thoughts wildly wandering towards that night every time you had a break. Although your friend kept encouraging you to go talk to him, you always said no, hiding yourself behind the most stupid excuses, hinting that obviously, someone like Yunho could never like - let alone desire, someone like you.

«I’m too inexperienced for him.» you told your friend, which simply scoffed, looking at you like you just randomly grew another head.

«I don’t even know where to start in order to explain how dumb that statement is.» she muttered, going back into the kitchen while she kept mumbling other unintelligible things.

The diner’s entrance bells rang loudly, echoing in the almost empty room on a Wednesday night, and you shortly panicked as soon as you recognized Yunho casually walking towards the counter. It was the first time you’ve seen him since the party, and you didn’t know both how to react and how to greet him; did you have to pretend nothing happened?

«Hi, angel.» Yunho’s endearing smile most definitely caused your heart to skip a beat, and you timidly greeted him back with a smile.

«Are you by yourself, tonight?» you dared to ask, in the attempt of making a small conversation as you were busy preparing his coffee while he sat directly behind you on one of the red leather stools in front of the counter.

«I am. Were you waiting for someone else?» even if you weren’t looking at him, you could hear the smug grin that was dancing on his lips; you immediately shook your head, your eyes locked on the coffee machine in front of you, and you heard Yunho hum, as if he was pleased with your answer.

Contrarily to your expectations, you and Yunho fell into a peaceful and relaxing small talk, and he also listened to you blabbering about how rude and unkind customers have been lately without complaining about you talking too much. Even if he had finished his coffee long ago, he settled for keeping the conversation going, finding you insanely entertaining and attractive to just walk away.

Gradually, you loosened yourself a bit, thanks to Yunho’s natural kindness and his way of talking which made you feel at ease; you slightly leaned on the counter while talking, as Yunho rolled a cigarette in the desperate attempt to keep his mind busy and prevent intrusive thoughts about all the ways he wanted to ruin you from popping up in his mind and suggest things you both might have regretted. As much as you thought that Yunho was a charming and interesting boy, he thought the same about you and so, for the first time in his life, he settled for making things right, following your pace.

«I guess you’re on closing shift,» Yunho said, licking along a stripe that would seal his cigarette, and you nodded as you were busy following the action. «Are you walking home by yourself?» «No, I’m-» «Yes! She is!» your friend immediately chimed in, and you suddenly remembered that you were not alone with Yunho, and she probably had to stand there and suffer from second hand embarrassment since who knows when. Yunho clearly understood that your friend cancelled on you last minute in order to leave the two of you alone and quietly chuckled at your small interaction, the cigarette he had previously rolled now placed behind his left ear. «I can walk you home, if you want.» he said, his gaze never faltering from yours.

Few hours later, you were both sitting on a bench at the now deserted skater park, the full moon watching over you as a pleasing spring breeze occasionally dishevelled both your hair.

«I still have to thank you for the tip you left me.» you said, focusing your attention on your hands, and Yunho simply shrugged.

Of course, the both of you engaged a conversation composed by the most infinite number of topics and of course, you ended up asking him about smoking and Yunho simply looked back at you, rising an eyebrow in surprise by the fact that the request escaped your lips out of nowhere, but also secretly pleased with the fact that you were not acting as if nothing happened few days earlier.

Yunho patiently taught you how to smoke without feeling like you were suffocating, occasionally rubbing your back as he waited for you to stop coughing.

«I can’t die like this, not before I get my monthly salary.» you cleared your voice, wiping the lone tear that escaped your eyes, and Yunho chuckled, his hand moving your hair from your face, so that now your neck was completely exposed to him, like a white canvas that he couldn’t wait to draw on. In order to stop coughing, you tried to focus about the fact that at this point, you and Yunho indirectly kissed through the filter of the cigarette, but it never really helped you, leaving you a bit flustered than you were before.

Somehow, you managed to learn the trick, and as you felt your body relaxing, you also felt becoming incredibly giggly; you knew that you were stupidly giggling at some jokes Yunho said while looking at him with rosy cheeks and a wide smile, but you couldn’t help yourself.

A large quantitative of praises towards Yunho were about to escape your lips but you managed to stop yourself just in time, losing yourself in the boy’s magnetic gaze which made you want more, aware that you wouldn’t even be able to quantify how much was that.

Once again, the thought about boys like him ending up breaking your heart popped up in your mind, but you ignored it.

“It’s the 50’s, love. Fall in love, live a little,” your friend had said, and you decided that, at least for tonight, you could have ignored the part of you which was always and only thinking about work.

Only when the bell tower signalled it was almost three in the morning, Yunho decided it was probably time to go back home.

«But we were having fun!» you whined, taking Yunho’s outstretched hand, which both helped you standing up but also pulled you flush against his body in a swift movement.

«Now,» Yunho smiled, and you had to beg your brain in order to stop the instinct that wanted for you to nuzzle against his chest and breathe in his alluring scent. «but you’re gonna hate me tomorrow, if you don’t get enough sleep.» even if you whined once again, you agreed with him and you both started to walk towards your apartment’s direction.

«Yes!» you giggled, quickly walking towards Yunho’s motorbike. «We’re gonna ride it?» you asked him, stopping next to his bike in order to tilt your head to look at him. Yunho thought that there was no way someone could look so cute after smoking weed for an hour, but yet, there you were, looking at him like you were the most innocent girl on the planet.

«No, angel face.» he said, affectionately ruffling your hair and making you pout. «I don’t have a spare helmet.»

«Next time?» you immediately asked, lifting your pinky finger in the air in an instinctive manner, and the hand which was furrowing your hair a moment earlier, was now lifting your chin while Yunho’s face came dangerously closer to yours.

«Are you sure that’s the only thing you’re gonna ride?» Yunho’s words seemed to spark the fuel that was smeared on your soul, since you were sure that the blush covering your cheeks could be seen from space. As you embarrassedly stuttered while coming up with an answer, Yunho laughed loudly – the sound making your heart do somersaults in your chest, while his long pinky finger gently intertwined with yours, sealing your promise. The both of you managed to arrive at your apartment while you kept giggling about the most random things, occasionally pouting about the fact that Yunho had been smoking too, but he completely seemed unaffected by it.

«Experience.» he simply answered as you unlocked your apartment’s door, immediately turning on the lights and heading for the couch while loudly calling for him to get in as well. Yunho followed you into your small living room, and sighed loudly at the sight of you laying down on the couch, with your arms thrown over your head while the shirt you were wearing was now showing part of your stomach.  

«Yunho.» you called for him in a serious voice, quickly sitting up and waiting for him to crouch down between your legs while sitting on the coffee table. You quickly shook your head as he asked you if you weren’t feeling okay while he carefully brushed  your hair out of your face, and you quietly gripped his jacket, looking at him in the eyes with the most serious expression you could muster. Yunho tilted his head, confused but your action but also intrigued about what you had up in your sleeve, when you definitely managed to surprise him another time.

«I’m so hungry.» you whispered as you were confessing a sin, and Yunho had to cover his mouth with his hand not to laugh too loudly. «But it’s almost four in the morning.»

«What do you want to eat?» Yunho asked back in a whisper, playing along, as if he was implying that your secrets were safe with him.

«I want a cheeseburger,» you smiled, counting on your fingers as you started to list a concerning amount of junk food, «and then, milk and cereal, and then…» Yunho let you finish while looking at you with an incredulous smile, before meticulously asking if you had any cereal in your house.

Less than five minutes later, you were happily munching to your night snack, trying to quench your chemical hunger. You didn’t expect for weed to have such a disastrous effect on you, but you managed to drift off – only after successfully feeding Yunho a couple of times, and eventually, hecarried you to your bedroom and left, not sure whether you’d like to see him first thing in the morning.

Later that night, you woke up with a headache and a bitter taste in your mouth; the fact that you were still wearing yesterday’s clothes was the proof that you did not have a fever dream and last night really happened. Your cheeks flared up in embarrassment, and you rubbed your temples before making up your mind and heading towards the kitchen  to drink some water and have some breakfast.

“I made a fool out of myself,” you thought, completely sure that you’ve blown off all the chances you had to get to know him better, “He’ll never want to see me again.” As you mindlessly grabbed a bowl from your cupboard, you noticed a small yellow paper neatly placed on your kitchen table.

“Hope you slept well, call me.” the paper said, and unexpectedly, there was Yunho’s phone number.

The note with Yunho’s number written on it was carefully taped on your fridge, but you still didn’t call him; four days quickly went by, and you still couldn’t find enough courage to dial his phone number and talk to him. At this point, you had the sensation that, in the back of your mind, the small yellow paper started to lighten up anytime you walked in front of it, only to become more evident and making you feel even guiltier. 

Yunho didn’t show up at the diner, and you took it as his personal way of letting you know that he was respecting your pace, a thing you were glad for.

An almost deafening noise of tires braking on the asphalt and a sudden crash noise made you immediately wake up clutching your chest in fear, sitting up straight in your bed as you tried to understand what just happened. Your heart was hammering in your chest due to the sudden fright, and you scanned the dark room in the desperate attempt to individuate any other noises which could help you identify what happened; as you walked to your bedroom’s window, you also heard the sound of multiple sirens approaching, and your eyes locked with the two cars that crashed against each other almost in front of your condominium. Both the police and an ambulance were quick to show up and take one of the two man back to the hospital, but even if the situation had calmed down and only the police remained with the other man to investigate the dynamics of the car crash, you couldn’t bring yourself to calm down. Work had been particularly busy those days, and the fact that you were stressed was undeniable.  

Perhaps, you were too zoned out to realize what you were doing; perhaps, your brain acknowledged the fact that in that moment, there was only one voice that you wanted to hear in order to feel better.

Therefore, you turned on the lights of your apartment all the way to the kitchen in order to collect that yellow post-it and listen to your brain which, at the moment, was suggesting to do the best thing.

«Hello?» Yunho's raspy voice mumbled from the other line; for a split second, you wondered how cute he looked with his hair messy and pointing in every direction due to sleep.

«Hey.» you mumbled, your voice a little more unstable than you originally planned, wondering if he would have been able to recognize you, and wondering if he would have got angry at you, since you were basically calling him in the middle of the night.

As your eyes glanced to the clock nailed to the wall right on top of your landline, you mentally cursed yourself, since it was literally 3.42 in the morning.

«Hey, angel.» Yunho mumbled again, the sound now a little muffled since he was probably rubbing the palm of his hand on his face in order to somehow get rid of all remaining traces of sleep. «Did anything happen?»

Although you wanted to tell him the truth, that you were okay but a car crash woke you up and you just wanted to hear his voice, you didn't; you spent few more seconds in silence, wondering how could you phrase all the waves of emotions you were feeling.

«Can you come over?» you finally whispered, aware that for sure he didn't manage to hear you, for your voice was almost inaudible; you quickly cleared your voice, ready to repeat your sentence a little louder when Yunho's voice made you close your mouth once again.

«Okay,» you heard him sigh, «I'll be there.» Yunho hung up and still, you stood there, listening to the robotic and redundant sound of the other line being hung up, while staring at the wall as if it was the most entertaining thing ever.

Yunho arrived more or less twenty minutes after your call, the loud rumble of his motorbike announcing his arrival. «I don't know why, but they're not letting anyone in, unless they live here,» Yunho's groggy voice greeted you as he closed the front door behind himself. «If the police officers come and ask, we're living together.» As if you were in autopilot, you quickly walked towards him, snaking your arms around his waist and trying to calm yourself down with his presence. You knew you were acting like an idiot for being scared like that but you couldn't help yourself, the pent up stress made you overreact and you were glad that Yunho still decided to show up after you basically ghosted him because you decided to shy up and act like a coward.

«Come on, let's go back to sleep.» Yunho was taller than you, therefore he easily towered over your frame and so, as he gently hugged you close to his body while placing his chin on the top of your hand, you felt safe.

It was funny how you were standing in your apartment in the middle of the night, clinging to the stereotypical boy your mom always warned you about, as if he was the only way you had to feel better. Inexplicably, Yunho's strong arms made you feel like you wanted to build a home in there; like those wooden houses built on trees some little kids had, where they hid when they wanted to have their personal space and live safely in their own world for some time.

Secretly, you wished you could stop time in order to live this moment for eternity, but deep down, you couldn't help but wish for these moments to become your new, daily routine.

Obviously, you didn't know yet, but Yunho wanted pretty much the same as you did. In his eyes, in that very moment, you looked so small and helpless that he felt the desire of protecting you from everything.

Yunho hanged his leather jacket before the two of you eventually ended up cuddling on your bed, facing each other while laying on your sides; Yunho's right leg was slightly between yours while your left leg was resting over his thigh, your naked skin pressed against the rough fabric of Yunho's denim jeans while his fingertips gently caressed the expanse of your exposed thigh.

Before he arrived, you wondered if the perspective of sleeping with a boy while being so underdressed – a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, was the right choice but you didn't really want to change your pyjamas. Now, Yunho's warm hands made you want to completely feel his natural warm skin against yours.

«Thank you.» you whispered some time later, a faint and tranquil murmur into the comfortable silence you were sharing.

«It's okay, angel.» Yunho sighed, holding you a little closer to his chest. «Anytime you need me, you holler, and I'll appear.» his words were nothing but sweet, and of course, you believed him.

«Don't go away this time.» you mumbled right against Yunho's collarbone, your breath ticking the skin that the wide collar of his shirt exposed. Yunho's answer came in the form of kissing your forehead, and you slowly drifted off to sleep, lulled by the other's slow rhythmic breathing and the feeling of his warm body enveloping yours.

The sound of your alarm woke up the both of you in the middle of the morning. Yunho – now almost completely laying under you, groaned in protest before effortlessly turning the both of you around in a swift and quick movement.

«Five more minutes.» he whined, his voice unexpectedly deep and hoarse. As much as you wanted to chuckle since that action was incredibly cute, you stayed there, almost petrified, as Yunho was now laying with his head on your chest and his legs between yours; he manhandled you so easily you had to close your eyes in order not to give in to the sensation of the heat that was pooling into your panties and consequently to the thought of searching for relief on his firm thigh.

«Why is your heart beating so fast?» Yunho asked, rubbing his eyes as he propped himself on his elbow, now almost completely awake. If you thought that Yunho looked handsome on a daily basis, now you were completely sure that he just earned the status of "breathtaking": his lips were plump and rosy because of sleep, and his cheeks were painted by a faint blush, his hair were dishevelled and looked pretty much untameable. You were used to seeing him surrounded by the "bad boy" aura, you'd never expect to find him so cute you'd want to squish his cheeks.

«Do I make you nervous?» he asked, a mischievous grin on his lips as his cheek was now placed on the palm of his hand while he kept hovering above you. «Well, yes.» you admitted, your glance quickly drifting away from his. «You're... you.» at this point, not only you lost all the ability to think properly, but you were also sure that Yunho thought you were completely dumb.

However, he simply hummed, his long fingertips hovering above your lips which naturally parted; as you unconsciously licked your lips, the fact that Yunho was following the action didn't go unnoticed.

«You'd probably want to be careful, angel.» Yunho's voice made you imperceptibly close your legs around his thigh. «Just because I like you doesn't mean you should try your luck.» his fingers were now under your chin, the feeling of the cold ring he wore on his index finger making your head spin with different scenarios which ended up in the same sinful way. «Otherwise, I won't hold back.» Yunho's words were all it took for you to tangle your hand in the front of his shirt; you weren't pulling him closer nor away from you, you just needed another conformation that this was happening for real. Yunho just admitted he liked you, feeling which definitely was reciprocated; anticipation was clouding your senses, and Yunho prevented you from daydreaming any further by purposely tensing up the muscle of his thigh just to tease you, but it simply ended up in you trying to suppress a needy whine.

«Then don't.» your voice trembled as your eyes locked with his, happy and relieved about the fact that the lust and the passion you found there were matching yours.

«Remember, angel,» Yunho shook his head with an amused grin. «That you asked for it.» you didn't have time to question his words, since his lips immediately found yours in a needy, passionate kiss. You completely submitted to him; you didn't dare to try and take control, you didn't want to. All you wanted to do was to lose yourself on the feeling of Yunho's lips moulding with yours, his teeth nibbling your lower lip and his tongue moving with yours in a messy and passionate pace. You felt the mattress dip under his knee as he balanced his weight on his arms, action which made his thigh press a little more roughly against your heat; instinctively, you groaned, arching your back in the desperate attempt to press yourself even more against the rough fabric of his denim jeans.

That action wasn't nor casual, nor innocent, and you felt Yunho's smug smile against your lips, before he leaned down to kiss your jaw and eventually, leave a trail of kisses for as much as the collar of your shirt allowed. Your mind has already flown on cloud nine long ago; during these years you never really missed sexual contact nor you ever felt the need for a relationship but there was something unexplainable about Yunho's touch that made you feel like you wanted to make up for all the time you lost. And of course, you wanted to do it with him.

«Yunho,» your voice was somewhere in-between from a whine and a surprised squeal as his right hand roughly pulled your waist upwards and towards him; he simply hummed, lost in the feeling of enjoying all the reactions your sensitive body had.

Despite you were most definitely loving how good Yunho was making you feel, you felt the desire of making him feel good as well and so, your fingers gradually loosened from the grip they had on Yunho's hair and gradually lowered until the palm of your hand was completely placed on his half hard length. A wave of pride washed over you as he instinctively jerked his hips forward in your hand, burying for a moment his head in the crook of your neck with a loud groan – which worked wonders for the situation in your now completely wet panties.

«You'll have plenty of time to make me feel good,» Yunho eventually swatted your hand away, pinning it against the mattress. «Today is about you.» he added, proving his point by digging his knee against the mattress so that the friction between your legs would increase. Yunho's sentence somehow boosted your confidence and if his right hand were guiding the movement of your hips for a brief fraction of time, now it settled for hoisting your thigh a little higher, his nails sinking in your soft skin as you grinded against his thigh while your lips were occasionally moulding against each other. Your shorts now completely exposed your inner thighs and the sensation of the rough fabric of Yunho's jeans made your skin almost feel sore, but anytime he tensed the muscle of his thigh, you stopped thinking about it, since the sensation of your orgasm building up thanks to someone else and not your own fingers were all you could focus on.

Yunho, on the other hand, was focusing as much as he could in order not to come at the sight of you falling apart so rapidly under him and because of him. It would have been embarrassing for him to come untouched, but the way you were repeatedly whining against his lips while frantically gripping at his shirt or his hair just to anchor yourself at something made him want you even more.

Yunho's thoughts got interrupted by a sinful loud moan escaping your lips and your body tensing up before relaxing once again, collapsing on the bed with your eyes closed while you were trying to focus on slowing down your breath. As you came, your thighs squeezed Yunho's in a brief but tight hold, brushing against his length in the process, and Yunho was sure that precome was now staining his boxers.

Feeling your heart hammering in your chest for two completely different reasons, you reached out to peck Yunho's lips in a silent and affectionate “thank you”, and he smiled before repeating the gesture. «Are you sure you-» «Yes,» Yunho answered with a small nod. «I could use the bathroom, and then we could cook breakfast?» Yunho somehow answered in a questioning tone, unsure whether you wanted to spend more time with him. You simply nodded, checking the watch on your nightstand before giggling. «More like lunch.» «Brunch?» Yunho answered as, following your gaze, noticed what time it was.

«Just so you know,» Yunho casually addressed you, pointing at you with his index finger as he was still holding his glass of water. «I bought a spare helmet, so I might just let you ride with me.» You nodded, eagerly, happy that Yunho wasn't backing down on the pinky promise you made.

Few days later, you told everything to your friend, which had to stop drinking because she was somehow managing to squeal while doing so. «Yunho has never let anyone ride his bike,» she said in an excited voice, «not even his friends.»

Not only Yunho took you on an insane amount of dates but also, every time his work shifts allowed him to, he'd pick you up from work because he didn't want to let you walk back by yourself. Spending your free days together had become a habit and so, three months later, there was a little corner in your wardrobe only for Yunho's spare clothes. Yunho managed to make you feel the happiest girl in the world, to make you feel desired and loved, and the night Yunho confessed you that his feelings were the same as yours, you felt do happy you swore you could become the sun of a whole new solar system.

Yunho also confirmed your friend’s words: you were indeed the first one he ever let on his bike, and you both loved this privilege but most importantly, you loved to cling to his back to your heart’s contents and enjoyed the little forms of affections he still managed to show. Anytime you were waiting for the traffic lights to turn green once again, he’d mindlessly caress your leg, all the way from your ankle to your thigh; sometimes he’d just trace with his thumb over the top of your hands which were intertwined on his abdomen.

You never thought – probably not even in your wildest fantasies, that one day, you’d be sitting right in front of Yunho on top of his Harley Davidson – your back pressed against the fuel tank and your legs around his waist, as his length rhythmically disappeared inside you.  Obviously, you never suspected he could hide some kinky meaning behind the sentence: “probably you’d be more comfortable wearing a skirt”, but still, there you were, trusting Yunho and letting him fuck you on top of his motorbike while both your helmets were safely placed on the floor and you had the perfect view of the sun setting in the sky due to being on a non particularly popular hill and therefore, completely alone.

«What if someone sees us?» you whined, the sensation of Yunho filling you up so perfectly and roughly – even if his pace was slow and teasing, momentarily clouding your senses and making you think that you probably wouldn’t have actually cared, not when you were so close to your release and Yunho looked like Apollo himself as the lights of the setting sun were dancing behind his back.

«Why, would you care?» Yunho asked back with a groan, a smug smile on his lips and his hands tightly gripping your waist under your high-waisted skirt; the chuckle you wanted to answer with died in your throat as he changed pace in the same moment you decided to sit up a little bit straighter, holding his shoulders to balance yourself. It was undoubtedly messy, and the fact that Yunho was strong enough to effortlessly fuck you in those circumstances made the warm sensation of an approaching orgasm pool even faster in your lower stomach. 

Both you and Yunho managed to almost come together, between breathless chuckles – due to the fact that you were more than willing to try new things as long as you were together, strained moans and passionate kisses. 

«My legs are numb.» you breathed, leaning once again your back on the fuel tank as Yunho was looking at you as you were a work of art, «I can’t get down.» you added, smiling before randomly erupting into a series of giggles, toying with the sleeves of Yunho’s leather jacket. 

«That’s my favourite thing to hear, angel.» Yunho smiled at you with a mischievous wink as he was gently running his fingertips on the expanse of your thighs.

Yunho loved how willing you were to be bad for him, just as much as you loved how willing he was to be good for you.

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories. I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

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#fanfics #yunho x you #yunho x y/n #yunho x reader #ateez scenarios #yunho scenarios #yunho fanfic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez ff #ateez grease au #ateez x reader #ateez x you #ateez x y/n #yunho smut #kpop fanfic #kpop x reader #kpop smut

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for leaving a friend hangout?

So me (14 genderfluid) and a friend (15 ?) were supposed to hang out in town today (it’s 30th August at the moment of writing this). I was going to take the bus into town to go to an event sort of thing and had a couple of hours to spare before this, so we decided that we would take the bus directly after school to go hang out. We had had a hangout planned a few weeks earlier but I couldn’t get a ride to the place in question on Saturday and they couldn’t do it on Sunday so we decided to try another time.

The whole school day today was really bad. I’m currently getting bullied quite a lot and this has caused intense discomfort and anxiety around being in school as well as meeting other people from my school outside of it. While this day in particular wasn’t too bad (little to no mocking, harassment, barking at etc) I still had a lot of anxiety throughout the whole day, probably amplified by sleeping badly and not eating much for lunch. I felt like shit the whole day. The bus ride also made me anxious. The thought that I could meet my bullies on the bus and have nowhere to go and no teacher to help me terrified me.

So, school ends and I go to wait for the bus. I meet my friend there, but they are with some other people, one whom I know from before and a few I don’t know, that I don’t even know the names of. This was a bit concerning to me. I can be pretty social if I put my mind to it, but school and the bullying has really made me nervous about interacting with people my age. On top of that, the unknown people seem to be the kind of people giving me dirty looks. Not outright bullying, but clear distaste. Oh well, I thought, maybe they won’t even hang out with us? And they seemed to be disinterested in me and my existence. Not a hello, just a quick glance and that’s it.

That also put me a bit on edge. I’ve had experiences with hanging out with friends who bring their other friends and said other friends just completely ignore me. They don’t speak to me, don’t acknowledge anything I say, they don’t introduce themselves, nothing. This isn’t really fun, and it usually kinda ruins everything for me. It reminds me of parts of the bullying, when people just pretend I don’t exist.

So I was a bit worried, but managed to board the bus with little to no issues. I didn’t sit with any of my friends because the bus was too full, but I heard them talking to each other behind me.

We get off the bus and yeah it is very clear that we’re hanging out together. And it’s maybe like two people I don’t know, and a few I do know but I wasn’t told would be coming. Personally, I really don’t like when I’m not informed of everyone who’s coming along. This is especially bad with people I don’t know.

I decided to try to push through my unwillingness and tiredness and rampant anxiety. But first I had to text my mom. We made a deal that I would text her when I got to town to make sure it was ok. I had no mobile data, so I had to go to the library to try and get some internet. The friend told me that we should split up and meet up later, so that’s what they did. They went somewhere and I would just quickly run in to send a text to my mom.

But due to various issues I couldn’t send a message. Something with the internet connection idk. I got really worried that she would get worried and have no way of contacting me. After trying for a while I gave up and decided to go find my friends, maybe they could share their internet with me or something.

I couldn’t find them. Our town is very small but I couldn’t find them at any of the regular spots and I had no way of contacting them. I eventually gave up. I was sad, tired, hungry and very very anxious, and the day was going to shit. At that moment I really just wanted to go home.

I decided to call my mom and get her to pick me up. I felt bad for leaving my friends but there was no way I could handle staying in town for another 4-5 hours. I did lie to her and said I was having a stomach ache and that I was feeling ill. Mom agreed to pick me up.

Right when me and my mom were heading to the car I spotted my friends. I went to them and told them that I was feeling sick and I was going home. They just walked right past me with little to acknowledge of what I said.

I went home and I’m feeling better emotionally, sort of. I feel bad for lying and saying I was feeling sick, but I don’t know if I would have been taken seriously if I just said “I’m aggressively anxious and tired and starving and every other sound that reminds me of my bullies makes me lightheaded with fear”. I feel bad for leaving them but at that moment I felt like I was gonna cry if I didn’t get to go home. I don’t know if what I did was right.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[nickfowlerrr]

same page

pairing: bucky barnes x curvy!avenger!reader

warnings: 18+ ONLY. pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess). SMUT (fingering, breast play, unprotected penetrative sex). public sex? friends to lover-ish?. fluff, too ig. if i’m missing anything please let me know.

words: 4.5k

notes: idk what this is and i didn’t know how to end it so i kinda didn’t lmao. also i’m too tired to reread it and edit it, so sorry for any mistakes in advance. i feel bad about taking so long with my dark!soulmate au fics so this is at least something to read in the meantime. it’s been sitting in my google docs for a hot minute so i figured now is as good a time as any to share it. also - reader isn’t necessarily explicitly described as curvy/chubby/plus size in this - i don’t think 🤔- but i’m tagging it that way bc that’s just how i imagine all my readers in my fics, whether i state it or not.😙 as always - feedback is more than welcome. :) thank you for reading 🥰 and if you enjoy it please give it a reblog. 💘

“I love when you moan my name,” Bucky whispered in your ear as he hovered above you, both of you covered in sweat and panting.

“I’m not moaning, I’m groaning you jackass,” you grumbled as you shoved him off of you, trying to keep your composure despite his teasing and the feeling of his weight on top of you. “We’ve been at this for over two hours, I can’t keep up anymore.”

“It’s called endurance training for a reason, princess,” he said as he moved to his feet, rising to stand above you while you stayed down on the mat, thoroughly exhausted. It’d been round after round of HIIT before Bucky had you moving on to hand to hand combat - which is why you were now sprawled out on the floor after he finally managed to take you down to the mat, landing his body on top of yours.

“I hate this,” you huffed as you stared up at him. “So much. In fact, I hate it so much, it’s actually starting to make me hate you.” You complained before getting distracted by Bucky pulling his shirt up and over his head, throwing it to the side while he still towered over you.

“Hm, well, I can’t have that now can I,” he started as you moved to sit up so you could bring yourself back to your feet. “Wait,” he said huskily as he shoved you back down on the mat before you could even start to stand. “I think I know a workout you might actually enjoy,” he smirked. “We can switch from combat to a different form of cardio, how’s that sound?” he asked as he moved down to be on his knees, straddling you. All you could do was stare up at him dumbly. You were sure you were making a fool out of yourself while you stared at him almost awestruck, big eyed, lying beneath him with your mouth parted open while you were still working on leveling out your breathing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough about how embarrassing it was to stop.

“Cardio? On the floor? How exactly is that supposed to work?” You asked breathily, chest heaving up and down. Bucky’s eyes fell to the swells of your breasts that were still perfectly on display thanks to your tight black sports bra.

Had you purposely worn it to your one on one training with him after the way he couldn’t stop staring at you and ogling your chest the last time you had it on? Absolutely. But you didn’t think it’d lead to anything. It never had before, despite what you may have wanted. This was like, your guys’ thing.

You and Bucky had always picked up on the way you looked at one another and every time you noticed a more… heated look from one another, you would each take it as an opportunity to tempt and perhaps even fluster the other. And he flustered you so easily.

For instance, you were completely distracted by him anytime he had his tight black t-shirt on, and once he realized, it quickly became a staple in his wardrobe.

And he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you anytime you were in the gym. Though your typical gym attire was high waisted workout leggings and either a windbreaker over a sports bra or a long sleeve tee, on the occasion you wore quad shorts, hello leg day, or would forgo anything over your top at all, it was like his eyes would be glued to your every movement.

And it’s not like you could blame him. You looked amazing. Particularly last week when you were sparring with Natasha. You were wearing the very same sports bra you had on now. It was new and held your girls up perfectly. Simple, black, and well fitted. It made you feel confident. You hadn’t expected Bucky to be in the gym when you arrived, but there he was. And when he saw you waiting by the entrance doors for Nat, he met your eye and sent a smile your way before his eyes drifted down and zeroed in on your chest.

It was almost funny to watch his abrupt change in demeanor as his only focus was suddenly all on you. You and that new bra you were wearing. It had to be new, he thought. He hadn’t seen it before, he was sure he would have remembered if he had..but maybe you just hadn’t worn it around him before.. That thought then got him thinking of all of your other bras he hasn’t had the pleasure of seeing before. And that thought then turned into thoughts of him being lucky enough to have the opportunity to see you in one you’d wear specially for him and then being able to get you out of it. God, your skin looked so soft. He just wanted to touch you. Well, that wasn’t all he wanted. He really wanted to get his mouth on you. You’d look so cute with his love bites all over you. Just imagining you walking into the gym, his marks on full display on your supple flesh and the gorgeous swells of your breasts. Fuck, he was getting himself worked up again, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted you so badly.

He didn’t even really notice his mouth parting open and his tongue quickly slipping out past his devilish lips, wetting them before grazing them with his teeth. And all the while, staring intently at you.

Now, had it been anyone else ogling at you like that (not that they would have), you would’ve been annoyed and probably would have immediately thrown on your jacket. But it wasn’t anyone else. It was Bucky. And you couldn’t deny that you liked the way he was looking at you. You always liked when he looked at you.

Though nothing had come of it, he always made you feel like you were the only person in the room. No matter where you were or who was around. It made you feel special. Wanted. And that was nice.

You scoffed at his obvious staring, though, and that’s when Steve turned around and saw you, too. He smiled and gave a wave and then turned to Bucky. Then with a raised brow, back to you. And then again back to Bucky before he realized where his friend’s gaze was set on you and why it was there.

Steve’s eyes went big and he immediately got red in the face as he caught himself staring at your cleavage, too. He didn’t mean to, he’d never purposely make anyone feel uncomfortable or like he was staring at them, but he was curious as to what Bucky was looking at, so really, it was his fault he was staring. He coughed, pretending to clear his throat as he looked away, trying to be nonchalant. Then he moved to not so subtly elbow Bucky in his ribs. “What the fuck, man?” he tried to whisper as he turned around. “You can’t just keep staring at her like that, you’re gonna make her uncomfortable. She’s gonna think you’re a pervert.” Bucky finally broke his stare and looked to Steve as he spoke. He knew he probably should have at least looked a little embarrassed at being so obvious, but it’s not like either of you could read his thoughts, so getting caught staring wasn’t the worst thing. And it’s not like he hadn’t been called out on it before. Hell, it’s not like you hadn’t done the same thing to him before, either.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s plenty comfortable with my staring, ain’t that right, princess,” you rolled your eyes as Bucky called to you with a boyish grin.

“Hmm, no,” you said, shaking your head after pretending to think about it for a second. “Steve’s right, I do think you’re a pervert,” you taunted with a slight tilt of your head as you met his gaze.

“Then maybe I am, but only for you, doll,” he smirked.

You laughed a smile at his words and as Natasha walked through the door of the gym to meet you, you hoped you didn’t look as affected by them as you felt while you shook your head again.

“Really know how to make a girl feel special, don’t you, Barnes?” You joked over your shoulder as you sauntered off with Nat to the ring.

“Ready to get your ass kicked?” She asked.

“By you? Any day.” You kidded as you bumped shoulders with her.

“Oh, and don’t worry, Barnes, I’ll try not to wear her out too badly for you ,” she winked as she turned around to tease him, his eyes still trained on you while he smirked at her comments. Your face felt like it was on fire, but you ignored it as you needed to focus on your sparring with Nat, though not before hitting her with an elbow of your own as you got closer to the ring.

Though he was across the expansive gym, Bucky’s gaze still found you any chance he got before him and Steve finally finished their workout and headed to their rooms to shower, bidding you both a “see ya later” on their way out.

So yeah. It was evident he liked the bra. And when you saw you had endurance training scheduled for today with Bucky, you knew exactly what you were going to wear.

When you entered the gym, Bucky’s eyes when he saw you walking toward him were dark and heady and you felt a thrill of excitement shoot through you knowing you could make him feel that way. You were equally affected by him. The way his arms were bulging in that damn black tee… and his thighs in those joggers, god. You wanted him. Of course you did. But not just for his looks. Bucky was an amazing guy. He was caring and protective and funny and so sweet to you. But he could also be mischievous; he loved to tease you and play around. You guys could so easily be yourselves around one another and you could spend hours with him and not get bored. You weren’t the most social person, but around Bucky, you could talk about anything. You never felt like you were being weird or awkward around him, it always felt so natural. It was like you had known each other for ages. And if you were being honest, you knew you wanted more. You wanted to be his. You wanted to be able to call him yours. But you couldn’t bring yourself to make the first move. If he didn’t feel the same, you wouldn’t be able to stand it. You were completely terrified of rejection. And from him it would really fucking sting. So teasing was enough for you if it had to be.

When you had first started your training session, there were a couple of people in the gym with you, but after that second hour passed it was just you and Bucky. And he took notice of the emptiness of the gym right away, deciding to use it to his advantage.

It was just you and him and he was finally going to make his move. He had been wanting to for a while now, but didn’t want to ruin your friendship if you didn’t want him the way he wanted you. After talking to Steve, he was reassured that it was obvious, apparently to everyone but him, that you were both completely taken with one another.

And when he had you pinned under him, he couldn’t help but tease you. He wanted to see what your reaction would be before he really made his move onto you. He loved how flustered you sounded when you shoved him off of you. And by the way you stared at him as he threw his shirt off, he knew you were both on the same page.

When he shoved you back down on the mat as you tried to get up and your breath hitched in your throat, he felt even more excited. He moved to straddle you and was happy to see that your wide eyes staring up at him as you tried to catch your breath were as lust filled as he was sure his were.

His hands fell to your wide hips and moved with perfect sensual pressure up your waist, being sure your body was laid completely down onto the mat, before his hands found your breasts. He squeezed them as you moaned lightly at the contact.

“God,” he breathed with a smile, “you’re so fucking beautiful, you know that?” He said, looking into your eyes before leaning his head back down, softly kissing the exposed tops of your breasts. You mewled at the feeling, hands instinctively finding his hair. You let your head fall to the side and when you saw the door to the gym, you were suddenly reminded that you were still in public.

“Bucky,” you panted, “What if someone comes in?” you said, worriedly. He picked his head up and grabbed your face to look at him.

“Then I’ll tell them to get the fuck out,” he said matter of factly as he looked at you like you were his whole world before slowly leaning down to finally catch your lips in a kiss. It was gentle as you savored the taste of him on your lips, a feeling you had been dying to experience for nearly as long as you had known him. And it was needy, too. You couldn’t get enough of him. As you pulled his hair, wanting him closer, the kiss became more heated. When you finally had to pull away to breathe, Bucky dropped his head and spoke into your neck. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathed before placing light kisses down your neck.

“How long I’ve wanted to kiss you - to touch you like this,” he continued as his hands found the straps to your bra, pulling them down your arms as you wiggled to get your arms free. He pushed the bra up over your chest and you moved to take it off completely over your head.

His hands instantly found your breasts, holding and squeezing, massaging them as his lips attacked your sensitive flesh. His licking and nibbling, teasing your skin with his teeth and tongue, had you writhing underneath him. As you moved your hips up subconsciously searching for some kind of friction, you felt his hard cock against you. Instantly you became more needy, hands fervently trying to pull him closer.

You gasped loudly as he bit down on your pert nipple, suckling gently before soothing the sting with his wet tongue. You felt like you were going to implode if he didn’t give you what you needed. And what you needed was him. After all the games, the flirting, the teasing, the lustful stares, and stolen glances… you couldn’t hold it back - couldn’t wait any longer.

“Bucky,” you pleaded, hugging him more tightly against you in your wanton state.

“What’s wrong, princess?” he murmured against your skin.

“Need you. Please,” you said as you tried to move your still clothed hips against him once again.

“Yeah? Ya need me?” he began, smirking with heated cheeks, moving in to kiss you. “Where do you need me, baby? Tell me.” He spoke in your ear as he broke away from your lips, moving to trail kisses down your neck - causing you to whine softly.

“Need you inside me,” you nearly cried. You were growing more desperate with each passing second. “Please. I want you. I need to feel you inside me, Bucky, please,”

“Mm,” he hummed before moving back up to kiss your lips again. ”Knew you’d beg so pretty for me,” he smiled before he sat up in between your legs on his haunches, and his hands moved to rid you of your leggings.

You raised your hips to help him get them down your thick thighs before you completely kicked them off along with your shoes as Bucky stood and did the same. He now seemed almost as impatient as you were as he worked quickly to rid himself of his clothing. The sight of his thick cock had you swallowing hard before you let your eyes wander the rest of his incredible body. He didn’t seem to notice your gaze as you took in every inch of him as he wasted no time moving to get on top of you once again. Your hands found his waist as you needily wrapped your arms around him again. You moved your hands sensually up and down his back, luring him closer as he lavished your near completely exposed body with kisses. Your eyes closed shut in bliss.

His hands gently slipped down to your hips once again where he pulled down the waistband of your thong. After pulling it the rest of the way down your legs, one at a time, he threw it to lie on top of the pile of his clothes next to you as you pulled your knees up around him. Pushing your legs further apart as he kneeled in between them, he moved his hands up and down your thighs before he started to tease you with his metal fingers rubbing through your wet folds. You spread your legs even wider for him as he gently slipped one of his fingers into you. He played with you for a little bit, changing speeds, and motions and slipping his finger out only to push two back in, all while placing cheeky kisses anywhere he could on you as you mewled and moaned, laid completely spread out beneath him, losing yourself in his touch.

When neither of you could take the teasing any longer, he took his cock in his hand, hissing as he pumped himself a few times before he ran the tip up and down your slit, smearing his precum on you and mixing it with your arousal, sending tingles of pleasure through you. He moved from your dripping hole up to your sensitive clit and back down again while you were mewling at the sensations and growing ever more aroused.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned at the sight. “Think you’re ready for me, sweetheart?”

You nodded your head dumbly as you writhed around him, desperately waiting for him to finally put his cock inside of you.

At the first push of his tip into your tight entrance as he slowly entered into you, you gasped loudly, grabbing onto him as Bucky nearly growled out at the feel of you. He had tried to help you ease open with his fingers, but the size of his length was still stretching you more than you thought you could take and it stung but, god, it also felt so brutally good as he inched in. Your hands reached out for him as he continued to enter you a bit at a time, wanting to give you time to adjust to him. You found his hands on your hips and you gripped his forearms as he started to gently thrust into you.

“You okay, princess?” he asked headily. “Tell me if you want to stop and I’ll stop,” he assured you after you nodded your head and breathed out a “yes” to his question.

“I don’t want you to stop,” you moaned as he pulled out of you and pushed back in just a little harder.

“You’re taking me so well, baby. Knew you would,” he grunted in his pleasure before leaning down to kiss you deeply.

You wrapped your legs around him as he started to move faster, hitting you deeper, right where you needed him. “Fuck, Bucky…, god you feel so good. Oh,” you breathed out as you were turned into a mewling and moaning mess beneath him, making sounds you’d never heard come out of your mouth before, but you weren’t embarrassed. Not when Bucky was grunting and groaning, too. Praising you for how well you were taking him, every sound out of his mouth and every praise he showered on you was making you more and more slick for him as he moved his cock in and out of you deliciously.

“So you weren’t moaning before, but you’re moaning now, aren’t you, princess?” You chuckled breathlessly beneath him as he looked at you with a crooked smile on his face as he continued to thrust deep and deeper inside of you. You pulled his face down to yours and crashed your lips into his. It wasn’t nearly as gentle as it was previously, but it was hot and just as needy. You grabbed at him as he pistoned even harder into you, making you gasp as you felt your walls tighten around his cock, your breath getting caught in your throat. You could feel yourself getting closer with every move he made and he could feel it, too.

“You gonna come, sweetheart? Gonna come around my cock?” He panted out as he thrust deeper and faster into your heat.

“Yes, yes, I-I’m gonna come. Please, Bucky, I need to come,” you babbled out as best you could. He stroked up and down your waist almost soothingly with his right hand as his other held a bruising grip on your hip.

“I know, just hold it, pretty girl. You can hold it just a little longer for me now, can’t you?”

“Agh, yes. Fuck. I can hold it.. I can hold it,” you wanted to cry at the overwhelming sensations going through your body. It was too much but still not enough as waves of pleasure were surging through you with each drag of his thick cock along your velvety walls.

Bucky’s flesh hand moved to grip your other hip just as tightly as he spoke through grit teeth, like he was trying to stave off his own impending orgasm, too.

“You wanna be my princess, huh, sweetheart? Tell me who you belong to,” he spoke gruffly.

“You, Bucky, you. I belong to you. ’M your princess. I’m yours. All yours, only yours,” you rambled, though you meant every word. “Buck, please,” you moaned as your nails dug into his skin.

“Yeah you are,” he moaned back. “You’re mine. Come for me, princess. Wanna feel you come around my cock, squeeze me, baby. Oh, fuck,” he grunted the expletive through clenched teeth, his neck straining and his veins bulging.. His words and the look of absolute rapture on his beautiful face sent you falling off of the edge - head first into the most intense orgasm you’d ever experienced. You swore you saw white as you came hard around him, legs shaking as you trembled beneath him.

“Just like that, princess. Fuck you’re such a good girl,” he praised you as you came around him, talking you through your orgasm as your tight walls squeezed him, working to keep him inside of you, desperately wanting to be filled, triggering his own release. You felt him coat your walls as he came inside of you, his hips stuttering and slowing but not stopping completely as he rode out both of your highs. And you’d never felt so full or satisfied.

You gingerly dropped your shaky legs from around him and he rested himself fully on top of you as he stayed between your legs. His arms wrapped around you as he rested his head on your chest. You wrapped your own arms around him and you stayed embraced like that for a moment, trying to catch your breath as you held each other.

“I could stay like this forever, but seeing as how we’re still in the very public gym, maybe we should move things to my room?” He suggested lightly as he kept his head on your chest, arms still protective around you.

“Yeah, that’s…That’s a really good idea,” you breathed a laugh.

A couple hours (and an amazing round of shower sex) later found you wearing nothing but one of Bucky’s shirts, wrapped up in his sheets, and laying in his arms.

Your head was resting on his chest as you ran your nails up and down his skin, lightly tickling him as you did. “So…” you said quietly, though you knew he could hear you.

“So,” he hummed as his eyes began to fall shut from your soothing touch and warm embrace.

You suddenly felt unsure. Did this actually mean to him what it meant to you? You were nervous but you knew you had to ask. You needed to know one way or the other.

“I, uhm. I don’t really know how to ask this,” you breathed out with a nervous laugh.

“Ask what,” he said, sounding more alert now as he moved his left hand to hold yours against him.

“What.. hm. What does, this - I mean, what - what did this,” you tried to wrangle your nerves as you fought to actually ask him what you were trying to, but you just kept rambling until Bucky cut you off.

“What does this mean for us?” he said, looking down at you as you nodded your head still on his chest.

“Well, I mean, I thought I made my intentions pretty clear. I want to be with you, y/n,” he said seriously as he tilted your chin to meet your eye. “Like, really be with you. I want a relationship with you. I want you to be mine,” he whispered as he caressed your cheek. “But if you don’t want anything more than this, I - I’d understand. You just gotta let me know, because, I-”

“No!” you almost shouted as you shot up on his bed, turning to face him completely as you shook your head, reaching for his hand to hold again. “No, Bucky, no. That’s not at all what I meant by asking that. I just… I wanted to be sure that we were on the same page. Because I do, I want this,” you assured him. “I want this and more. I want… I want everything with you,” you confessed as you squeezed his hand and stared lovingly into his bright blue eyes shining back at you as his face lit up with that boyish grin he wore so well.

“Then that’s what you’ll get, princess,” he smiled as he pulled you down to meet his lips.

“And, you know, I am yours, Bucky,” you mumbled against his lips between kisses. “Always have been.” He pulled you closer and kissed you deeper at your words.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that,” he mumbled back, holding your face in his hands before letting you go and returning to your previous resting positions, an even more at ease, comforting energy engulfing the two of you as you just enjoyed one another’s presence.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x plus size!reader #bucky barnes x curvy!reader #bucky barnes x chubby!reader #bucky barnes x avenger!reader #bucky x chubby!reader #bucky x plus size!reader #bucky x plus size reader #bucky x curvy!reader #bucky x avenger!reader #bucky smut #friends to lovers #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes one shot #bucky fluff #bucky x curvy!avenger!reader #bucky barnes x curvy!avenger!reader

[whollyfree]

Sweet Nothing

Summary – singer!reader writes a song about jake Pairings – Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count – ~800

Warnings – literally just pure fluff idk what else to say

You and Jake’s relationship was a secret to the world.

In your own small bubble, you found the happiness you never thought you could find with him by your side. Of course, both of your friends and family knew, but the safety net of keeping things private was pertinent to you. You felt safe with this; that you didn't have to show this dear and precious side of your life to the world.

That being said, vulnerability wasn’t necessarily your strong suit, but ever since you fell in love with Jake, you found yourself taking baby steps into the path of this new journey. You felt safe with him; that you could tell him anything without judgment and he would continue to love you for exactly who you are.

Soon enough, this leap of faith took on a life of its own into your music. And as Jake found himself traveling up toward his bedroom, you assured him you would only be a few more minutes, having kept yourself busy with the new project in front of you.

I spy with my little tired eye

Tiny as a firefly

A pebble that we picked up last July

Down deep inside your pocket

We almost forgot it

Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

“Now this is supposed to be the other way around,” Jake’s voice was quiet against you, a soft smile gracing his features as he pressed a kiss to the side of your head. You smiled, leaning against him as his head found a spot in between your neck and your left shoulder.

It was normally you pulling Jake’s hand away from his pen and paper to join you into bed, but tonight it was different. He knew you didn’t typically bring your work home with you (or at least tried not to), so this must be something special.

It had been nearly an hour since you told him you would only be a few more minutes, but you were so lost in your own work and the emotions he brought from you to pour into a song that you almost didn’t want to leave the piano.

“Do you remember when we went to Ireland over the summer?” You ask and he hums in agreement, moving your hair behind your shoulder to place a gentle kiss to the side of your throat.

You fight back a giggle. “And we went to Wicklow,” another kiss higher and a hum. “And we brought home that pebble?” He plants a kiss just below your ear and you laugh. He hums again to respond.

“Well,” you turn your head slightly. “I put it in a song.”

You feel him pull away and meet your eyes with a look of confusion. Drowsiness was evident on his features as his robe hung loosely off of him.

“Writing songs about pebbles…I’d say that’s a new creative direction for you, sweetheart.” He chuckles, his tanned chest catching the light from the piano lamp and you laugh in response.

“No,” you fight back more laughter before looking back at him. “It’s about you.”

Jake’s expression changes into a look of pure love and adoration; the look that was only reserved for you. His heart filled with butterflies as he took in the sight of you. Here you were, the one person he loved most in this world, sat at his piano in his house who wrote a song about him.

On the way home

I wrote a poem

You say, "What a mind"

This happens all the time

“Well, what about me, angel?” Jake’s smile hasn’t left his lips as he looks onto the lyrics you scribbled onto the journal in front of you.

“I wrote a poem on our way home-”

“Mm, the one you never let me read.”

You smile, “that’s the one,” he grins again, his teeth gracing his lips. “It’s about how I feel when I’m with you. How you just want me for who I am, nothing else.”

You could’ve sworn you saw a tear form in his eye under the light as his smile faded into something much softer. His eyes stayed glued to yours, and you could see the words forming in his head before speaking. He wanted to express his gratitude in the most eloquent way he possibly could for you.

“You’re all I’ll ever want,” his voice is nearly a whisper. “I wouldn’t trade anything for this heaven of a life I have with you.”

Now it was your turn for tears to form as you smiled back. Jake leans in using his thumb and index finger to pull you into a tender kiss. You felt everything from that action alone; all of the love possible just from one gentle feeling of his lips on yours.

They said the end is coming

Everyone's up to something

I find myself running home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they're push and shoving

You're in the kitchen humming

All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

Share your thoughts/feedback! | Masterlist

#jake kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka fanfic #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka blurb #greta van fleet #greta van fic #greta van fluff #my writing #josh kiszka #josh gvf #sam kiszka #sammy gvf #sam gvf #danny gvf #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka one shot

[hrtiu]

omg happy birthday!🥳 I hope you're having an amazing day with lots of sunshine, tasty food and happiness.

If you're feeling inspired can you write some domestic bliss with foxiyo? I'm thinking maybe when they're both old(er?) since that's something rarely explored (at least as far as I've seen). Idk I just think they'd be that cute elderly couple yk 😭

Thanks for the prompt and the birthday wishes! Sorry I wasn't able to finish it right away, but hey. I haven't written any fic in months so this is still pretty good for me??

I haven't really edited this so... hopefully it's ok???

Riyo Chuchi could not sleep.

She stared up at the dim, roughly-textured ceiling and blew out a breath. There was a time when she’d work herself so hard every day that she could barely keep her eyes open long enough to fall into bed rather than on the floor. And now she regularly found herself waking up in the wee hours of the morning, her body tired and aching but her mind stubbornly and insistently awake.

She rolled over onto her side and sighed. No, this position wasn’t any better. She felt no less restless, no less stretched thin by unwilling wakefulness. Across the bed from her, Fox’s broad back slowly expanded with a deep inhale. Riyo smiled to herself. At least the view was better on her side.

After another half hour of staring at Fox’s back, Riyo admitted defeat and got out of bed. She went to the ‘fresher, brushed her teeth, and combed her snow-white hair. The texture of her hair was wiry and tough--both its color and texture a far cry from the famously-luscious lavender locks of her youth. Then she went to her terminal and checked her messages. 

A few updates from Ahsoka, a brief, businesslike note from Mom Mothma, and a bunch of adverts. Great. Riyo wondered how she hadn’t appreciated the days when her terminal was stuffed to bursting with urgent messages--full of people wanting her assistance, her opinion, her time. It had been overwhelming, yes. But at least she’d felt needed.

She spent a while--much longer than necessary--answering her messages. Then she checked the news and let her eyes glaze over as the goings-on of distant planets filled the terminal. Several hours passed this way, and the sun finally began to peak through the closed shades of her study.

“Been up long?” Fox’s gravelly voice broke through Riyo’s near trance.

She looked up at him and smiled wryly. “A little while,” she said, knowing he would catch her understatement.

He crossed the room to her, his stiff leg traveling just a little slower than the other. He rested his hand on her shoulder, and she couldn’t help but notice the slight tremble to his once-firm grip.

“I’m sorry, my sun,” he said. “The meds aren’t helping?”

“They help me fall asleep, but I just can’t stay asleep for long,” Riyo said with a shrug. “I could take more, but I don’t want to overdo it.”

“That’s probably wise. You should wake me up next time. I’d be happy to keep you company.”

“At least one of us should be getting rest,” Riyo protested.

Fox let out a noncommittal sound and lowered himself into the chair next to her. 

Riyo rested her head on his shoulder, her whole body relaxing at the familiar contact. As her muscles melted into him, he still felt stiff beneath her. He hid it well, but she knew how uncomfortable the stiffness that held every joint in his body tight must be. He had once been a super soldier, a man in peak physical condition. If she was missing the way she used to feel, how hard must it be for him?

She peaked up at him through her lashes, his silvery stubble and strong nose still so attractive to her, after all these years. 

“How are you doing, love?” she asked. “I know you must be having trouble, too.”

Fox shook his head. “No, not at all.”

Riyo couldn’t hold back her snort. “I was at your last doctor’s appointment. I know your condition is progressing. But you never complain!” She sat up, turning in chair to face him fully. “You know you can always tell me how you feel, right?”

“Of course,” Fox said, taking her hands in his. “And you are right. I wake up in pain every day. It’s getting more difficult to walk. And I’m frustrated that I can’t trust myself with a blaster anymore.”

It was what she’d asked for, but still Riyo’s heart constricted in her chest. Fox was in pain, and she knew he wouldn’t even acknowledge any pain if it wasn’t significant. She squeezed his hands. “Fox…”

“But I’m happy, Riyo,” Fox cut in, firm and confident. “The pain is a nuisance, but it doesn’t bother me that much. I hardly even think of it.”

“How can you not think of it? It affects every step you take. It keeps you from doing so many things you love-”

“I don’t think of it, because I am happy.”

Riyo shook her head, feeling that she was still missing something. “I just don’t understand. Here I am, every day complaining and pitying myself for all the most common, least inconvenient inevitabilities of aging. But there you are, happy and unbothered while you deal with this diagnosis. Either something is wrong with you, or something is wrong with me.”

“Nothing is wrong with you. This diagnosis isn’t easy for me, but it is so much more than anything I ever expected.”

Any words Riyo could think to respond with died in her throat. What could she say to that? Especially when she knew what he said was true?

Fox stood up, moving slowly but with purpose. He held a hand down to her and she took it, rising to her feet at his side. 

One hand still holding hers, Fox stroked his fingers down a wisp of white hair that had escaped Riyo’s utilitarian bun. “Do you know how lucky I feel to be able to grow old with you? I never expected to grow old. Period. And now I get to experience it with the woman I care most for in the entire galaxy? Every grey hair. every aching joint, every hand tremor--every one is a privilege.”

A tear slipped down Riyo’s cheek, and she pressed her forehead to his. Her body still felt heavy and tired, and she still mourned for her youth long gone. But some of the weight of sorrow lifted from her shoulders.

“The privilege is all mine,” she said, meaning it with every ounce of her being.

#foxiyo #fic #star wars #tcw #commander fox #riyo chuchi #growing old together #old age

[fritextramole]

in their secondhand smoke

part 1 of an Eric van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

If I Go, I’m Goin ~ Gregory Alan Isakov

This house, she's quite the talker She creaks and moans, she keeps me up And the photographs know I'm a liar

Sweet Hibiscus Tea ~ Penelope Scott

And I am not your protagonist, I'm not even my own

right where you left me ~ Taylor Swift

Trends change, rumors fly through new skies But I'm right where you left me

If You Know That I’m Lonely ~ FUR

Maybe it stays as it's always been Hazy and they see what we can't see Please let me know if you want me around And I'll try my hardest to be good

Matador ~ Minta & The Brook Trout

Go out of your way Or fake it through another day Everything is real Make your peace with whatever you feel The unwilling coalition of characters crowding your thoughts Make too much noise And way too little sense

Everybody Dies ~ Billie Eilish

Everybody dies, surprise, surprise We tell each other lies, sometimes, we try To make it feel like we might be right We might not be alone

feelings are fatal ~ mxmtoon

I'm always sad and I'm always lonely But I can't tell you that I'm breaking slowly Closed doors, locked in, no keys Keeping my feelings hidden, there is no ease I need it to stop and I want to be able to open up

6/10 ~ dodie

I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here I know that you don't want me here Oh I'll just call a taxi (I know that you don't want me here)

Self Care ~ Penelope Scott

Do drugs, have sex, tell your deepest darkest secrets to your friends Post cringe, buy guns, are you done yet? Fuck, not enough, cry a river, smash a cup But it's never ever gonna be enough For the people in the back row, but you still choose to listen Knowing damn well it's really not their decision

Soda ~ Nothing But Thieves

I'm an exception It's hard to accept Because I try to be happy But then I forget

Goodbye Rocketship ~ Maya Hawke

I forgive you, and I thank you, you know all the reasons why I'm sorry and I love you, all we can do is try

Guiltless ~ dodie

You opened a door that a kid shouldn't walk through Oh, but I’m not bitter, I'm just tired No use getting angry at the way that you're wired

xanny ~ Billie Eilish

What is it about them? I must be missing something They just keep doing nothing Too intoxicated to be scared Better off without them They're nothing but unstable

Andromeda ~ Weyes Blood

Lift the heart from the depths it's fallen to We all want something new But can't seem to follow through Something's better than nothing Or so that I thought

Memories Can’t Wait ~ Talking Heads

There's a party up there all the time And they'll party 'til they drop

After Hours ~ The Velvet Underground

Dark party bars, shiny Cadillac cars And the people on subways and trains Looking gray in the rain as they stand disarrayed Oh, but people look well in the dark

They / Them / Theirs ~ Worriers

What if I don’t want something that applies to me? What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything, anything?

Gone for Good ~ Matt Berry

After a whole night of hell Could be night, who could tell? I realize no matter what I display It turns to shit and ends up just the same way

Shine ~ Collective Soul

Love is in the water, love is in the air Show me where to look, tell me, will love be there?

IDK You Yet ~ Alexander 23

How can you miss someone you've never met? 'Cause I need you now but I don't know you yet But can you find me soon because I'm in my head?

Dear Someone ~ Gillian Welch

Hurry and take me straight into the arms Of my dear someone

Comfort Crowd ~ Conan Gray

I just needed company now Yeah, I just needed someone around Yeah, I don't care what song that we play Or mess that we make Just company now

Home ~ Cavetown

Often, I am upset That I cannot fall in love, but I guess This avoids the stress of falling out of it

Storm Cellar Heart ~ Mutual Benefit

Taking shelter To wait out this inclement weather And when you hold me It's so much better

Soft Place to Land ~ Sam Beam, Jesca Hoop

If you're looking for a soft place to land The calm of a steady hand An unconditional friend If you need to take a moment to catch your breath Come in before you catch your death You don't have to pass a test to come home

#gg #ggplaylists #eric van der woodsen #gossip girl #source: senamarais #tw suicide #not explicitly but it's what we're talking about here

[seokjinsonlyone]

if one of the members hit u up on social media somehow n y’all get serious, would u drop everything and move to korea to be with them?

without a moment of hesitation as soon as they say "do u want -" i'm already 6 hours into the plane ride like for any member the answer is yes i'm madly in love wit da whole crew but now i wanna play this scenario out

also i'm doing this under the assumption that this is post enlistment like i'm not moving to korea just for my man to be gone for 2 years 😭 like i'd wait for them no DOUBT but i'll wait in america with my family in the comfort of my own home 😌

okay so for jk i'd move but we could NOT live together like we got to learn to love each other in person bc lemme tell u he'd piss me off and i'd annoy him so bad if we lived together off the jump like i have a morning job so being up at 1-5 in the morning singing and cooking and is not the move and then look i'm a fan of ambience i am but a bad bith got depression i got to have the lights on or else i'd never do anything skskksdk so since i'd be living alone i'd def need to have a job so idk what energy i'd have left for him LOL like it'd require a lot of adjustments on both our parts bc we is both weird and oddly particular all in all either he'd have to love me a whole lot to make us work or i think the sex would keep us together for a good 3-4 months before he realizes it's not worth it but i would stay in korea for at least a year like i could nOt show my face back in america any sooner than that. (side note: i think if i let him provide for me we'd be super compatible tbh but then we'd be more like besties instead of bf gf) approximate success rate: 46%

oh lawd wit tae i'd have to battle with the dog like i think we could live together but me and tannie would be mortal enemies he’d be my sworn nemesis like straight up dr doofenshmirtz and perry the platypus the way we’d be at each other’s throats bc all he gotta do is turn his neck backwards and hit me wit dat judgmental glare one time and i’m ready to square up but tae seems like the type fall in love very hard so if he’s asking me to move to korea for him he’s willing to make it work and frfr all i gotta do is take yeontan out on a walk one good time he gon get tired bout halfway through and then look for me to hold him and that'll settle most of our differences we may not be best friends but we'll have come to an understanding then all that's left to do is work on tae like get him to get the dog off his mouth off the table and out the kitchen and it's smooth sailing fr i feel like he'd alternate between being super clingy and kinda distant which would be a little frustrating a little irritating but we could cope like if we could just get through that adjustment period it'd be fine. approximate success rate: 72%

if i was with joonie i think the most source of contention would be over decoration like y'all know me and u know them ugly little couch pillows would have to be the first thing to go LOL but after that like okay i wouldn't try to take over but i would just need a space for me that feels like my own that i belong there not just be amongst one of his hyperfixations y'know? like he just has so much art in his place we would need to edit it down so i wouldn't feel like i'm constantly living in an exhibition paint the walls get some more plants bring some life into the place but other than that i think me and joonie would get along really well like we would probably nag at each other about little habits that irritate us but i can't foresee anything being too serious approximate success rate: 84%

hobi's another one i feel like i couldn't live with immediately LOL like i would 100% irk his nerves jfslsls he'd be nagging me to put my clothes in the hamper, put them away, stop leaving stuff around, etc. bc like i'm soooo good at keeping common areas clean not a problem but my room? i'm just always in such a mad dash to get to the bed that i just be leaving stuff anywhere be rushing like my bed gon get up and run away if i'm not in it within 30 seconds of entering the room so it do be junky and also i'm a go with the flow person and imma be ready to take a nap and hobi gonna pop up with some furniture polish and a swiffer talking about it's dusting day and imma lose it like we just need some time before we take that step sklfksd but other than that our relationship would be perfect?? like he's end game for sure we would eventually move in together and live happily after approximate success rate: 87%

my precious baby seokjin lawd i love and miss him so much need him expeditiously oh god missing seokjin hours just hit bc i'm thinking about how perfect he would be for me 😭 like moving in general is a lot but moving to a whole nother country is something else entirely and i think he'd just be so kind and thoughtful about the whole thing like i feel like he'd already have me a room in his place cleared out??? and would just give me a whole lot of space to just exist like helping me unpack and decorate however i like however long it takes not crowding around me when i'm overwhelmed letting me invade his space when i'm feeling clingy cooking me meals like he just seems like he'd try his very very best to make sure i'm comfortable and having fun the entire time like i'm sorry this is just my man and we're meant to be <333 approximate success rate: 95%

jimin is so caring and so sweet and i love that about him but that might be the thing that drive me up the wall like his care might just be a little overbearing for me and like i’d be his girl he tryna make sure i’m straight but if i say i’m good i’m good even if i’m not like imma need a minute and he not gonna wanna give it to me gonna wanna talk about everything all the time but imma need time to process everything before talking about anything and he might not get that at first so there would be some tension but after we’re able to align my introversion with his extroversion everything would be great and i think he’d accept my mess and i’d accept his and then we would get tired of being messy and push each other to be better i also can see a lot of cuddling and watching youtube on tv approximate success rate: 78%

finally there’s yoongi my twin flame <333 with him we'd probably already have a discussion about living together simply bc it's more convenient and economical to do so but the relationship...... it's like we might as well have not met online LOL like it'll be soooo awkward at first like it's gon take 3-4 weeks to really warm up to each other in person like he'll cook me breakfast and then when i sit down to eat with him he just not gonna look me in the eyes and i'll just be trying my best to be quiet and out of the way trying not to be seen or heard so he won't throw me away and then literally just one day it'll click we'll be like what are we doing and why and then all of a sudden we kissing cuddling he's taking me to his studio arm wrapped around my waist like we gonna go from being acquaintances to having old married couple vibes overnight and honestly i'm here for that comfort and familiarity the only thing i can see being a problem is that ion like to initiate conflict like if u start it imma finish but i ain't throwing the first punch but he seems to be more mature than me in that aspect so as long as he helps me to keep a line of communication open i can't see a reason why we would ever break up approximate success rate: 93%

sorry for using ur question as a catalyst for my delusion

#ask #bts fanfic #bts headcanons #bts imagines #bts x reader #ask of interest #it's crazy how confident i am that i could sustain a relationship with any member much less a solid 4/7 #especially considering how unbearable my personality is #but that unwarranted confidence is all part of my charm

[smallestapplin]

This is my first time requesting something so please hold on to me 😭 Submas butlers comforting s/o? Idk why but I just like being comforted. -leaf anon

I got you leaf anon! You didn’t specify what kinda comfort so I went with sick fic comfort.

-

-

🔲Ingo&Emmet🔳

Your entire estate was thrown into a stand still.

Maids and chef rushing around to make you food and bring it to you.

Luckily your butlers (and secret lovers) are quick to settle everyone done.

“Please everyone! It is a simple cold, we ask you settle down and let us take care of them.” Ingo announces, letting everyone sigh in relief.

You didn’t have many helpers around your estate.

Just a chef, a maid, your twin butlers, and the occasional groundskeeper.

But you have fallen ill, luckily it wasn’t anything serious, but you were out of it.

And the twins are your personal butlers, they have taken it upon themselves to be the only ones that could get the flu.

Truly they believe they are the only ones that can take care of you properly.

They got their supplies ready and made their way to your room.

Emmet quietly your bedroom door, letting Ingo carefully bring in a bed try with a bowl of soup balancing on it.

With the door secured shut the two make their way to you.

Emmet silently coos at you. Your face slightly flush from your fever, but looking peaceful over all.

“Do we have to wake them?”

“Unfortunately, they haven’t eaten in almost twenty four hours, they need something.”

Despite how quiet Ingo tried to be, his naturally loud voice woke you up.

“Oh darling I’m so sorry.”

You groan, opening your eyes and blearily look at your boyfriends.

Emmet was already gently stroking your head.

“Our poor darling, how do you feel?” The younger twin tenderly places a kiss to your forehead.

“…Mm….like hell.”

The twins wince at how rough your voice sounds.

“Fret not, dear, I made some soup for you.”

You whine as Emmet helps sit you up.

Ingo places the bed tray over your lap. He stops you from grabbing the spoon.

“Dear, your hands are so shaky, I will feed you.”

“Ingo, I can-“

“Nooope! We don’t want you spilling it everywhere.” Emmet chimes in. Kicking off his dress shoes and carefully climbing into bed with you.

He sets his top hat on the night stand and snuggles up to you, being mindfully of the bed tray of soup.

Ingo let’s the soup cool off just a bit before feeding it to you. You sigh happily at the warm broth going down your sore throat.

You finished about half of what was made before you started refusing.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” You whimper as you lay completely back down.

The two butlers look at each other then back to you.

You hold your stomach before laying on your side and curling into a ball.

“At least you ate something, a little is better than nothing. I’ll set the flu medication on your night stand along with some cold water.”

“Thank you, Ingo.”

“Of course my beloved.”

“I love you.”

Ingo’s expression softens, you sound so tired, so weak, his poor love. He places a kiss on your temple.

“I love you too, now rest, I will be covering for Emmet for the rest of the day, he will stay here with you, so just ask him if you need anything.”

With another peck Ingo left, he had a whole estate to watch over while you rested.

You feel Emmet curl around you with a soft hum.

“You’ll get sick, you know.”

“Mmm nope! Ingo is the one who gets sick easy, not me though. You’re stuck with me.”

You sigh when he kisses the nape of your neck before burying his face into your back.

Your sweet butlers, your sweet lovers, how did you get so lucky in finding them?

#pokemon #pokemon imagines #pokemon x reader #pokémon #pokemon ingo #pokemon fluff #pokemon ingo x reader #pokemon fanfic #pokemon emmet #pokemon emmet x reader #pokemon submas x reader #pokemon submas

[edoro]

thinking a lot lately about the very fun experience of technically being able to work, but not consistently or enough to make a living

recently i took five days off from my (extremely easy, simple, online, wfh) job because i had hit the point of being burned out that thinking about it made me Literally Want To Kill Myself

i spent those days cleaning my house, playing video games, and writing original fiction that i’m going to try to sell, and also doing things like “crying into my salad while i washed the leaves” and “laying on the floor thinking What if I Was Dead Instead” because none of the stressors that made me get to that point were actually gone and in fact taking this time off of working was making a big one (the fact that i live on a very narrow margin of financial safety where i am usually just BARELY able to pay for everything i need) significantly worse

now i have to get back to it and i can already physically FEEL the stress returning, although thankfully the constant mental loop of “what if i just killed myself instead” is mostly gone and i just feel kind of shitty about it

but this is a pattern for me, and it’s a deeply frustrating and demoralizing one. get a job, hope that this time this will be the job i am Able To Consistently Do And Live Off Of, and then from there a few things have tended to happen:

1) i’m actually really good at the job but doing it drives me insane because it hits all of my anxiety and trauma buttons and every working day involves psychologically torturing myself for several hours straight (anything involving phones)

2) i like the job but i suck at it and the knowledge that i suck at it drives me into a despair spiral that ends with me quitting before i get fired

3) i like the job and i’m okay to good at it, but either something external happens (car dying while working as a delivery driver, covid) to force me out of it OR i just hit my burnout point anyway because there is something deeply broken inside of my brain wrt my ability to function as a person in the type of society i currently live in

And Then I Don’t Have A Job Anymore. the longest i’ve managed to keep a job is not quite three years, and then covid happened and i had to choose between continuing to work in retail or keeping myself safe from getting the fucking plague. the specter of “having to go back to working around the general public, none of whom mask anymore, and also no one is really vaccinating anymore either” looms over me constantly.

every time this happens it makes me feel even more like a useless garbage person AND it makes it much harder to get another job, because my employment history is full of three to six month stays at jobs that most people would find incredibly simple and easy, and i have to try to find a way to explain that without saying “i’m insane and probably going to have a mental breakdown under the crushing weight of light clerical duties, but i prommy i’ll do a good job up until i hit that point”

and meanwhile while i AM working, i have absolutely no energy or motivation for anything else. i can’t keep my house clean. i can barely maintain my own hygiene. i can’t write. i can’t engage in any hobby that isn’t passively absorbing information through a screen. AND i can barely make enough money to live on with the number of hours i’m capable of working, so it doesn’t even feel particularly worth it.

anyway. idk. it just sucks. it’s really hard and i’m tired of living like this but the only solutions seem to be “win the lottery” or “stop being disabled” or maybe “find a sugar daddy.”

#personal #if you're a sugar daddy hmu

[amaranthnymph]

I think I’d like to go to a bath house sometime. (Body image thoughts ahead, be warned)

I’ve always fantasized about it, I’ve enjoyed the occasional threeway, but it’s also like really really daunting for me for several reasons.

Sex with strangers has never been a particularly safe activity, but it sure seems worse nowadays because, and maybe it’s just my experience with local men, dudes think PrEP is a wonder drug that’ll protect you from EVERY STI and that’s just, Jesus, so fucking stupid lol I’ve chatted with so many hot dudes who I end up losing interest in because they only bareback ‘cos they’re on PrEP and when I would bring up that I wasn’t on it yet, they’d just say “okay, but I’M on it, so…?” And that fucking mindset is exactly what led to me getting stealthed, which in CA is considered rape, but I still feel hesitant to say I was raped even tho I explicitly told him I wasn’t comfortable with barebacking, and maybe my hesitancy is because I came out of that unscathed and my experience is so much less, I dunno, traumatic or violent as other people’s experience? Idk Anyway, that’s one of the reasons, I don’t trust other people to be getting regularly tested.

Another reason is two-fold: distance and my job. Unless I’m wrong, the closest bath house is Steamworks in Berkeley which is a 3 hour drive! It’s not THAT long, but I dunno how I’d find a way to make the trip and stay in Berkeley for a weekend when I have to take care of my mom. She’s becoming a little more sefl-sufficient, but I am constantly worried that she’ll get hurt or something when I’m not around. There’s not really anyone else to care for her since my sister works days, my dad works nights, and they end up sleeping most of the time they’re home because they work so hard. I already feel like I don’t do enough to help my mom these days but that’s because I’m so burnt out from taking care of her, and her stroke last year only made things harder as she needed full-time care. Like, I know I could be doing more, but fuck, I’m so fucking tired.

Lastly, and sadly my biggest obstacle, is my belly. While I don’t think I’m unattractive (I don’t think I’d have been as successful a slut as I am if I wasn’t sexy as hell), I certainly don’t enjoy what I see in the mirror. My face? Handsome! Ass? Huge and plump! Thighs? Thick and great for intercrural. But my belly? I hate it. Fucking loathe it. It hangs in a way I’ve not really seen other dudes’ bellies hang, my belly fat distribution is so fucking weird. Like, most other dudes my weight have rounder, less flabby bellies, but mine isn’t, it looks like a beanbag strapped to my abdomen and I even tried to get a consult on if I’d be a good candidate for a panniculectomy and nope, my BMI is too high and Medi-Cal no longer covers it. I’m hoping that at least working out and staying in a caloric deficit will help me shed some pounds and maybe tighten my belly up. I don’t mind HAVING a big belly, but I just hate that it hangs the way it does, I can’t wear sexy undies because it basically hangs over the whole thing, I have to buy Tall shirts because regular XXL shirts don’t cover up my belly, like, it’s just such a fucking hassle as well as being an eyesore. I could care less if the rest of my body stayed the same but I fucking hate my belly.

Still, I wanna go to a bath house and live out my fantasy of having a bunch of hot dudes rail me into oblivion, I just… gotta sort out all the above shit first, maybe.

[the-coping-dragon]

I uh, I’ve had this blog long enough that I think it’s reasonable to use it as a “writing things down to keep track of thoughts and ideas.” Anyways, I...do have OCD tendencies.

I remember seeing OCD portrayed on a “medical drama” show. A surgeon kept washing his hands after surgery, and everyone just had to adapt to “Yeah that surgeon stays very late sometimes, washing his hands. It’s OCD. You can just go about your business. It’s okay.” And I thought back to how, sometimes, when I wash my hands, they just don’t feel RIGHT afterwards.

I won’t describe it lol! I don’t want to encourage those thoughts. I haven’t had that particular compulsion in a while, and I do not suffer for its absence.

Anyways. OCD, ADHD, ASD, IDK. Sorry if that sounds like someone a wine mom says when she’s having mimosas with her friends and venting about her kids. Something makes it hard for me to stop or start certain tasks. Sometimes, it’s like, “I know exactly what I want to do, and how to do it. I can envision myself doing it perfectly. I really want to do it. Why am I still sitting here?” Sometimes it’s like “I’m ready to stop with this task. Why am I picking up another part of the task? I want to stop. Why am I getting more supplies? I want to stop. I want to eat, and use the bathroom, and lay down. It’s midnight and I’m sitting outside tying grass together, like I have been doing for the last 7 hours. I want to go inside now.”

Sometimes it feels like there must be a button you press in your brain, when you’re ready to do a task that you’ve been thinking about. Maybe it switches the focus, from internal planning, to external doing. I don’t have one of those. Mine is like a broken car window crank. I struggle with it. Sometimes I can’t get it to budge. Sometimes I can move it, but tire out before finishing. Sometimes it moves well enough, but doesn’t actually move the window. Sometimes the window just falls into the door, freed of the mechanism and drawn down by welcoming gravity. Is it obsession? Am I obsessed with doing the task, so i cannot stop? Or the other way--obsessing over planning, so that I can’t begin?

Usually when I get stuck, my brain struggles for a while, and I feel helpless and stupid, and then my brain will sneakily wander to something less distressing.

The “wandering brain” is a step up from “sits in a pile of self-loathing.” It’s been a long effort, to reassure my brain that it’s allowed to take care of itself/me. I used to keep it (and myself) in a mobile iron maiden, and wandering was met with severe repercussions. And I did it for my own good, in the end. In retrospect, maybe things would have been okay if I hadn’t tried so hard. Maybe if I’d broken down, others would have stepped in to help. But I was doing my best to survive a very very dangerous life. I forgive myself for it, and even thank myself for the effort.

Wandering brain is good though :3 It’s been nice, to watch it. Like birdwatching. Or watching a pet cat. What does it like? Where does it tend to go? What does it do when it’s ready to rest? How does it behave when it needs something? Do I have hobbies? (Yes) Can I remember how to feel thirst and hunger and pain? (At least slightly). Is there a way to start over with scary things, to set aside the bad experiences, and seek happiness in things that frighten me, like cooking, like going outside, like opening up to someone? (Yes)

I think giving my brain the freedom of willpower is maybe contributing to “gets stuck doing/not doing something.” Maybe there is a part of me that doesn’t want to do/not do something? Maybe it’s a self-preserving part. It’s less effort to continue than to change. Maybe my brain settles into an activity, so deeply, that it can’t get out.

But, I do enjoy weaving grass. It’s one of the more pleasant things to get stuck on. Sometimes I’m stuck doing a chore, and even once the chore is done, I invent new rules that create new chores. “I washed all the dishes. But I should organize the cups. By usage, and breakability, and microwave-safe-ness.”

“I swept the kitchen, but I should sweep under all the appliances. And move the table to get under the feet. And actually, I should re-sweep the entire kitchen, sweeping only towards the north, to make sure I got as much dirt out of the (north-south running) gaps as possible.”

What’s the difference, between obsession and stuck? “Stuck” feels like I am struggling to ACTIVATE the next task. Obsession feels like I am struggle to DEACTIVATE a task. Maybe, I get stuck, and my brain stands still for a moment, and then goes “well, if we’re unable to do the next task, might as well loop back and work on the previous task more.”

I think I have one BIG and SPRAWLING obsession: efficiency. That was not easy to discover! So I hope it’s correct, because I’d hate to waste more energy on a conclusion that isn’t even correct.

I will invest ENDLESS time and energy into something, if my brain tells me, “This will be less work later on.”

If I rearrange the cups by usage, breakability, and microwave-safe-ness, then LATER, I can simply grab a cup from the bottom shelf, where I placed commonly used, durable, microwave-safe cups. I won’t have to reach over that one cup that I like but don’t use often because it isn’t microwave safe. That one goes on the second shelf up, where I can enjoy seeing it when I open the cabinet, and use it when circumstances are correct.

But if I spend two hours reorganizing and reorganizing--maybe if I had a shelf here, maybe if I put a hook here to hang one from, maybe if I swap this category with that one then I can also fit this other one on this shelf--is it really less effort in the end? How long does it take to grab a cup from a non-optimal shelf? 2.6 seconds, instead of the 1.9 seconds it takes to get one from an optimally sorted shelf? How long did I spend just now, calculating reasonable estimations for that? If it really saves 0.7 seconds each time I get a cup, then I’d need to get a cup so many times, that it saves more than two hours. How many fucking cups is that? 60 seconds to a minute, 60 minutes to an hour--3,600 seconds per hour, doubled, 7,200 seconds in two hours, so...? Is that 10,000 cup-grabs, to justify the laborious perfectionist sorting?

I usually get 0 cups dirty, net, per day. I use one for coffee and rinse it out and put it by the coffee pot. I don’t even GRAB CUBS from the SHELF most days. if I grabbed one per day, it would take me--oh my god--28 years to grab that many cups? That’s so long that it’s almost worth going back and factoring in leap years. That’s too damn long!

It’s just really hard to ask myself, “Is this worth it?” My brain is so long-term oriented. “If we reduce the work now, then eventually it’ll pay off.” It’s like that fucking kid and the marshmallow, except my brain is REFUSING to eat the two marshmallows and keeps saying, “I am struggling not to eat; thus, I will be rewarded for this,” and the adults are like, “WE ONLY HAVE TWO MARSHMALLOWS. FUCKING EAT THEM.” And the kids like, “Actually, if i refuse long enough, you’ll probably go to a store and buy more.” And the adults are like, “STOP GOING ON A HUNGER STRIKE. EAT THE FUCKING MARSHMALLOWS.”

So...

ANYWAYS. What the fuck was I talking about. What was my point? Oh, right. I am obsessed with some theoretically all-rewarding idea of efficiency, so my brain harasses me with “It’ll save someone some work, some day,” until I finally do whatever it wants so it stops fucking telling me about the fucking Agavero Orange Liquer case in the broken box in the back of the warehouse. I was a cashier. I didn’t get paid to worry about that. But it ate at me, for weeks, until i finally got someone else to do it for me (I wasn’t allowed to do it, so I “bet” a different employee $5 that they couldn’t find it. They tried turning down the $5 afterward, saying they were happy to do something so small like that for me, but I gave it to them anyways, because they saved me from obsessing over it.).

“Someone wants that product, and they’re waiting to see it on the shelf. And we have it. It’s just logical and efficient if we make sure to shelf our wares, instead of losing them in the warehouse.” Yeah, true! But you didn’t get paid to do that.

Instead, when I got really overstuffed with those feelings, I would tell myself, “Okay, if you have the time to freak out over the Agavero, then you have time to crochet.” And I would crochet at my register. And it instantly made the panicy feeling go away.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s just about “feeling like I am working on something.” That feeling is POWERFUL y’know. “Why didn’t you remember to do X?” “I was busy.” ...

...

...

Oops! I think I found the ~source~ of the ~problem~ (or at least, a current generator of the problem’s power)

So one of the things that I am CONSTANTLY finding at the root of my issues: my mom’s suicidal behaviors during my childhood.

I know people internalize their parent’s stuff, without the parent necessarily being suicidal. But... I mean, like. I didn’t try to internalize “I look ugly,” and my mom’s suicide attempts didn’t affect that. That was just because she kept forcing me to wear makeup, by applying it to my face while I was practicing driving with my learner’s permit. (Forcing someone to wear makeup is a little easier, when they are busy learning to drive, because if they protest, you can accuse them of risking your lives!) So; that wasn’t really given power by the suicide attempts.

But, on two of the most vivid memories, she tried to kill herself because I forgot stuff. I forgot to check my phone (I had to wait about 20 minutes for her to get me from school, so I’d go to the classes I was struggling with to ask questions and get help; and lost track of time sometimes, and my phone was on silent since any phone that rang during class would be sent to the office). And I forgot to...put a pair of pants...somewhere. I forget where she’d asked me to put them, but I forgot.

--Squints suspiciously at my current lack of memory, wondering if it also is faulty for the same reason I have fibromyalgia, “they got overworked and now they’re broken.” Which also happened to my pancreas (though that one resolved after I moved out of my mom’s house) and, perhaps, several other organ systems. OH MY GOD I AM LOOKING AT MY FUCKING UTERUS AND REMEMBERING HOW I WAS ALWAYS GLAD THAT MY PERIOD SKIPPED WHEN I WAS REALLY STRESSED, BECAUSE IT WAS ONE LESS THING TO DEAL WITH. Hm. Okay, that’ll be fun to research later--

So--what the fuck was i saying this time lol. Uhhhhh obsession with efficiency, via obsession with being ‘busy’ enough, via obsession with having a REALLY good excuse if anyone gets suicidal over something I did (which might prevent the suicide, or at least let me cope with it without blaming myself too much).

...I remember telling someone about one of her suicide attempts. I said something like, “Do you still like me, even though I almost let my mom kill herself?” In my brain, that’s what happened. My forgetfulness “let” it almost happen. And I remember they looked so haunted, and said, “That was not your fault.” And I remember the way it shattered something in me, something I’d been using to keep myself going; and the freedom of feeling it fall out from under me; and the freedom of hitting the ground and realizing i was okay and i could learn to stand without it.

I remember sitting and thinking, as a kid, “How am I going to survive the weight of my mom’s suicide, if she does it? How will I eat breakfast, go to school, breathe air, lay down at night, knowing I am responsible for her suicide?”

Oh my god I am Simba alksalksdjalkdjla ?????????

Ohhhh, my brain is telling me a joke, to gift me with a happy feeling, to keep me from sinking into a sadness. Thank you brain. I appreciate the hilarious joke. The fact that you even made a joke about the way I was trying to plan ways to not kill myself if my mom killed herself--that shock alone tugged me quite a ways back from the somber depths of sadness. So... Yeah, thank you for the help. I am not mad at you, so do not be afraid to try to help more in the future. You are enjoyed and welcome here.

I do remember planning for her suicide. I knew my options about who i could live with, and had a very hard time picking between a violent freedom or a comforting isolation. I had a plan for which schools i might end up at, depending on who i lived with, and depending on the stability of the housing situation i chose. I even planned for being turned away from everyone. The things they said... You’re supposed to believe people, right? It’s rude to even consider that they are lying. In my family anyways. Especially when someone was always saying some weird shit like “You can hear what song comes next on the radio. You have better senses than others, and can sense the radio waves. It’s because we are direct descendants from Jesus.”

So if that family member thinks that certain minority groups should be “rounded up on an island and shot” then, you account for the possibility that they might not take you in after you made your mother commit suicide, and the possibility of them murdering you.

So, anything to make life easier during all of that, yknow? So maybe i developed a little shield, a little “I’m busy--working--doing important and worthwhile things--it’s okay that I’m not doing other things--even if theyre important--and I am not doing wrong, even if I could be doing something else.”

So what (referencing a song called so-what because familiarity is comforting)

So maybe I should ponder on my obsessions and stuck-nesses, and see if any of them arise from a deep-seated fear of death due to guilt of feeling like i contributed to some bad event or condition.

That’s hard, because that s a lot to keep up with.

#originalpostbycopingdragon