#idk I’m not sure how much of a spoiler this is lol

[cassayeee]

IN THE FALLING SNOW (CORIOLANUS SNOW X FEM!READER)

warnings: this contains spoilers for The Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes, so read at your own risk. furthermore, this is smut - coriolanus snow smut. expect porn with a bit of plot, degradation, spitting, throat fucking, p in v, virginity taking, oral (m and f receiving), marking, idk just all of that good stuff. point is: mdni.

notes: this is like, really quickly proofread (and almost 8k words lol oops) , so apologies for any grammatical mistakes that pop up. also, this is the first time I've ever actually written smut so bear with me here. anyway, enjoy!

You were probably one of the only souls in Panem that knew the truth about the Snows. Shrouded in deceit of their true wealth status and fear of the truth being sung across the Capitol, you held onto their secret more closely to your chest than any of your own.

Having grown up on the Corso, practically next-door neighbors to the Snows in a penthouse befitting your own status, it wasn’t uncommon for you to be caught spending time between yours and the cousins almost every day. So much time, that the high society of the Capitol could almost always count on the L/N’s and Snow’s appearing at any event with the other in tow.

That was, of course, until the rebellion. While your parents had decided on siding alongside the president, the Snow’s had decided on another course, driving a wedge right through the once unbreakable bond between the two. And once the bombings had come and gone, you still had all your affluence and one less mother, but the Snow’s had found themselves even worse off.

However, you and Coriolanus Snow didn’t let any of that deter your own relationship.

---

“Coryo! Come on! Punctuality is a dish best not served cold.” You jeered over to your friend who had just exited his front door onto the wide and ever-expanding avenue.

His blue eyes locked onto your own as he made his way over to your car, the Avoxes in the front seat doing nothing more than staring straight ahead, ready to make the trip over to the Academy. As he entered, you made note of his blouse that could only have been touched by Tigris’ clever hand.

“Wow. Did Tigris do this for you? It’s beautiful.” Snow watched you dote on his reaping attire as he nodded ‘yes’ to your question.

“It was one of my father’s.” he finally replied as you contently sat back further into your family car’s seat.

“So,” you started. “How are you feeling about your mentorship for the Games this year?”

He raised a brow at you as he pondered your question. “In all honesty, I’m just hoping for a good tribute selection. 1 or 2 would be preferable, but even 4 or 11 would suffice. Someone with a chance of succeeding, I suppose.”

You inclined your head through his reasoning. It made sense, you had always known Coryo to be a competitive man – wanting nothing more than the control to make things go as he pleased.

“Well, with your charm and wits, I’m sure you could make any contender into a victor.”

---

And, oh, how right you were. Watching your Coryo more than triumph over his mentorship and even getting his tribute to win the Hunger Games had your own pride swelling in turn. This was all he ever wanted. To have his reputation goldened and his University spot secured, you couldn’t wait to see how he would blossom in the coming years.

What you were less than happy about, however, was how closely he and that District 12 girl had become. Sharing a picnic in that rat-infested zoo? Going to her for problems that he used to come to you about? Oh, your ego took a bruising after that.

Was she there for him after he lost his parents? No.

Was she there for him as his fortune declined? No.

Was she there to sneak food over to him to make sure the family didn’t die from starvation? No.

Was she there to hold him at night when he couldn’t sleep even after attempting to find solace in his mother’s compact? No.

What did she do? Sing a little song and twirl in her rainbow dress? Oh, please. You knew a flirt when you saw one, and did she ever fit the bill.

A part of you had even hoped that she died in the Games. Easy. Out of their lives forever and what was the biggest problem after that? Getting Coryo to University? With a little convincing you were sure you could’ve gotten your own father to sponsor him. Really, he needed to get over his little conviction with the Snow’s. It’s not like he didn’t owe Crassus more than that.

But besides that, you felt like you were losing your best friend. Had you been in love with him for years hoping he’d return your affections? Of course. Were you perfectly comfortable staying his friend and supporting him even so? I mean, not really, but sooner or later he would have realized that you were all he’d ever need.

If only that stupid little songbird would just fly away.

---

Arriving home from the Academy after the end of the Games, your feelings were twisted in a knot. More than anything you just wanted to climb into your room and sulk or find a way to get your father to cause an “accident” for that Lucy Gray Baird on her way back to 12, whatever would be more appealing at the time.

But, you knew you had to get over to the Snow’s to congratulate Coryo. Jealousy aside, you were still so proud of all he’d done and wanted to make sure he knew that.

Once you entered the penthouse, Tigris greeted you with a big smile and an even bigger hug.

“Oh, Y/N,” she sobbed. “I can’t believe he actually did it!”

You couldn’t help but fall further into her hug, genuinely happy in her arms. She was right. You were being selfish thinking about him and the girl at a time like this. Tomorrow you could be bitter all you want, but tonight, tonight was about Coriolanus Snow.

Helping her and the Grandma’am set up their old party favors and arranging the cake you brought over for him, you couldn’t help but wait for his arrival. Not being part of the mentorship, you had left as soon as the Games concluded allowing for Coryo to debrief with his fellow members and any newscasters looking for an interview.

Hearing the door turn, you all jumped up in celebration as you saw him enter. Noticing immediately that something was wrong with him, you dropped your arms as he burst into tears. Shocked, you started to make your way over to him as he ran into your arms, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he began to tell you about Highbottom and the Games.

And that’s when your world came crashing down around you.

---

You found yourself in Coryo’s room as he had his head placed in your lap, arms wrapped tight around your legs as you ran your hands through his hair. A position the two of you hadn’t found yourselves in for quite some time, but one that you both found nothing but comfort in.

“Maybe they’ll change their minds. Realize that losing you as a Capitol citizen is more a punishment onto themselves than for you.” You attempted to reason with him. To give him any sort of hope.

He only turned his head in your lap to face you. “Maybe if Highbottom didn’t hate me, but this feels more personal than even just being caught for cheating.”

“What about Gaul?” you tried, combing through his curly locks. “She seemed to have really taken a liking to you with all that extra essay work and singling you out whenever she could.”

“Gaul is certifiably insane and even more like her mutations than you’d realize.” He rebuked. “No, she wouldn’t even let me into the Citadel to try and reason with her. This is my only option.”

You both were silent for a stretch until you broke the silence with a hiccup. Feeling your body start to shake, Coryo rose from your lap to see you silently crying into your free hand. He reached for your head to bring into his chest, allowing you to release your emotions onto him.

“Oh, my Y/N.” The way he softly cooed your name made you latch your arms around him and cry even harder.

With a break in your hysterical state, you retreated your head away from his now tear-stained shirt and looked up at him.

“I don’t want you to go.” You confessed. “I want you to stay here. With Tigris. With the Grandma’am. With me. Please.”

His gaze softened while studying your features. He brushed back your slightly sweaty hair from your forehead as he placed a loving kiss upon it. You closed your eyes in the tender moment, never wanting it to end.

“I’ll always come back to you.” He asserted. “I promise.”

Trying your best not to lose your composure again, you buried yourself back into him, hiding your face from view. Tangling yourselves together, you attempted to find a semblance of sleep in his embrace, knowing that this may be the last intimate moment you get with him in years.

Eyes falling shut and breathing becoming labored, Coryo watched as you drifted asleep in his arms. His Y/N. His beautiful, intelligent, loyal Y/N. He knew he should have kissed you before. Told you that he’d only ever want to fall asleep in your arms, no matter what the news made of his and Lucy Gray’s relationship. But the good man in him knew that would have just made things worse for you, after he left, and he needed you to stay strong and become the powerful woman you were born to be.

And the not-so-good man in him reveled at the fact that you would always ache for more from him. Waiting until he returned. Loyal until the end. And if he returned to see you with someone else? Well, that would be sure to be remedied quickly. Because, as you were both severely aware, Snow lands on top.  

---

It had been months since you’d last seen him. And every day still hurt as much as the last. While you did receive letters from him, it was never the same as having him here. In person. Across the avenue and readily available at your beck and call.

With the worsening state of the Grandma’am and Tigris’ situation, you tried to help as much as you could, but your father strictly forbade anymore spending on the two after Coryo’s departure. He even threatened to send you to the Citadel for a “long-term internship” if only to keep you away. So, all you could do was watch the further deterioration of your family.

On a late day in September, you and your father were preparing to leave for the University for a pre-semester gala, attended by those in current attendance, and new studies joining in just a few days.

You smoothed down your blood-red, pin-straight formal gown, backless with a slit rising just up to your upper thigh, viewing yourself in your large vanity mirror white fixing your satin gloves. A tulle train adorned the back of your gown, wrapping around your waist and sparkling slightly with the gems attacked throughout it. Not as eccentric as some of the other Capitol citizens, you kept a rather minimalistic style, but you looked good, like, really fucking good. Hair styled in an intricate updo and makeup accentuating your features, you couldn’t help but enjoy your reflection. What was wrong with a bit of self-indulgence?

It’s not that you would describe yourself as vain or vapid, but rather know the worth in your own beauty. If you were to be a woman in a wolf-den of men, playing to your strengths and charms would be the only way to get anywhere, besides your self-assured intelligence, of course.

Breaking you out of your trance, you heard your father call from the foyer that the car had made itself around and was ready to depart. Taking a deep breath and checking your appearance once more, you began your trek into the snake pit.

---

Just as you had suspected, the hall was full of high-class society goers, along with many of the staff and faculty of the University. This was your time to solidify past Academy connections as well as create new ones as the environment called for. Knowing people was everything. And knowing people liked you was even better.

Making your rounds with your father, you stopped to chat with some of his associates and peers to begin your night. Already growing bored with the conversation, you stopped a passing Avoxes to grab a glass of posca to solicit a light buzz, making the night infinitely better.

Excusing yourself from the group to take a breather of business talk, you began to make your own way around to speak to some of your fellow Academy graduates among some influential figures in the University.

Currently speaking to Hilarius Heavensbee, the two of you were catching up on what you had both done after graduation, among small talk of the hushed Hunger Games.

“No, my parents were still pissed that my tribute only made it to 8th place, but how was that my fault?” he exclaimed. “The girl was already on her deathbed by the time she made it into the arena, and I couldn’t send her a miracle on a drone.”

You giggled at his exasperated state, slightly because of the posca you still sipped on.

“At least you got to mentor,” you bemused. “Fucking Persephone Price beat me out for a spot, so all I had was a good seat and an ability to bet.”

“Oh?” he said in a teasing lilt. “And did you place any bets my way, Y/N?”

You caught his eyes looking you up and down in a lustful gaze. You were always friendly with Hilarius back in the Academy, but never entertained much more than that, since your heart had always belonged to him.

But, as your body grew warm with the posca and need to feel wanted, you couldn’t help yourself from taking a small step closer to Hilarius, though still a respectable distance given the circumstances, while you dedicated a small giggle to him.

“Now, Hilarius,” you remarked. “If you wanted me to place my bets on you, you should have given me a little bit more to work with.”

He rolled his eyes at your slight jab, even knowing you were only teasing.

“Just because my tribute didn’t know how to please a crowd, doesn’t mean I don’t.”

The slight innuendo didn’t slip past you even in your hazy state. If anything, it only caused you to peer at him through your long lashes, blinking slowly as you licked your bottom lip. Before either of you could speak again, a murmur rushed through the crowd as you noticed people staring toward the entrance of the room. Turning to see what the commotion was about, you almost let the glass slip through your hands as you saw him staring right at you.

Standing shocked and immovable, all you could see was him, completely forgetting about Hilarius and your prior engagement. It was as if the commune around you was nothing more than a backdrop to your reunion. You watched as he greeted faculty and society members alike, never moving from your spot as he continuously flicked his eyes over to you.

He was back. Your Coryo was actually here. Suited in a black ensemble, he looked more handsome than you even remembered. How was that possible? He didn’t say anything in his last letter about returning home. Last you remember, he was still waiting back on his officer test results, so why the fuck is he at the University gala?

Whether it took minutes or hours, you kept your spot and waited for him to make his way over. And as soon as his full attention was on you, you couldn’t tell if you were going to sob, faint, or both at once. Long strides took him over to you, where he tilted his head down to view your frame.

Still stuck in a stupor, the best you could get out was, “H-hi.”

His mouth quirked up in a half-smile as he returned his own “Hello, Y/N.”

Your name flowing from his lips finally broke you out of the shocked state you were in as you grabbed his hand and made your way over to one of the balconies hidden behind a large curtain. With the fresh air giving you some reprieve from the heat your body was melting in, you enclosed him in a hug burying your face in his chest. Inhaling his rose scent, all your nerves relaxed. Something only he could ever do.

“Oh, Coryo,” you sighed. “I missed you so much. Every single day I missed you. What are you doing here? Why are you –“ Finally looking up to face him, all you saw was anger painted on his face.

Furrowing your brows, confusion clouded your features as you couldn’t understand why he was looking at you like that.

Jaw ticking, he stayed silent.

“Coryo?” you cooed like a child in trouble.

Something about the way you spoke his name finally had him relaxing his muscles, but still had a hard gaze on you. Quickly looking back over his shoulder to make sure no one was looking your way, he walked you backward toward the rail of the balcony. Arms on either side of you, he closed you in so that the only thing you could see was him.

“I get home,” he started. “Expecting nothing but a warm welcome from my dear Y/N, and what do I see? You looking at that Heavensbee trash like you wanted him to fuck you. Like you wanted him to touch what is mine.”

Surprise crossed your face as you placed your hands on the lapels of his suit jacket.

“W-What?” you stuttered. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, Y/N. You think I don’t know what you were trying to do with him? Don’t forget who knows you better than you know yourself.”

He looked at you with a mixture of disgust and thinly veiled hate, like he wasn’t happy to see you at all. Like he didn’t miss you at all.

And you got mad.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business, Coriolanus.” You spat his name. “As it so happens, I’m a woman with womanly needs, and seeing as I can do as I please, I could go home with him right now and there wouldn’t be a thing you could do about it.”

He sneered at you with a laugh that had no hint of humor behind it. Tightening his grip on the rails he lowered his head down to your ear as you sucked in a quick breath of air at his closeness.

“Oh, Y/N,” he muttered. “You and I both know he’s not what you want. He just wants to get his dick wet and you, love, want mine shoved down your throat.”

Trying your best not to let him get to you, you utterly failed as a tiny whimper escaped the back of your throat and your thighs began to rub together.

Chuckling, Coryo lifted his head again to view your disheveled state. He caressed your neck with a callused hand, rubbing his thumb across your soft spot before grabbing the back of your neck and pulling your mouth close to his.

“He will not have you, Y/N L/N. You are solely mine, and whether I have to speak it, fuck it, or brand it into you, you will remember that. Now,” he released his grip on you. “Say your goodbyes, besides that imbecile Heavensbee, acquire your coat and meet me outside so I can finally stop this tiring back-and-forth and take what is rightfully mine.”

Pure lust layering over any coherent thoughts, all you could do was nod as you smoothed back down your dress and hoped that the cool air was helping your reddened cheeks from becoming too noticeable. Telling your father, you weren’t feeling well, he allowed you to take the car home and let you retire early for the night. Unknowingly to him, Coryo Snow followed you into the vehicle, one hand firmly planted on your bare thigh the entire ride.

---

Between the University to now, your heart rate had increased significantly from Coryo’s actions. You weren’t sure what exactly had gotten into him or what had happened to him since you last said your goodbyes, but the aggressiveness he showed you was an extreme you had never seen before.

Though, you couldn’t really be upset. After all, he had finally admitted to you what you had wanted to hear for almost two decades: he wanted you. And that excited you to no end.

As Coryo watched you fiddle in your seat, he couldn’t help but smirk thinking about how you were acting for him. A few sentences and you were reduced to mush in his hands, willing to do anything to get him back to your room. And it’s not like he was any better.

After his extravaganza in District 12, he realized just how much you meant to him. None of those deplorable District filth specimens could hold a candle to you. His Y/N. His pretty girl who would do anything for him and who he would do anything for.

How it angered him to see you talking to Heavensbee – like he was worth even a glance from you. You were supposed to wait for him, to be a good little girl, and refuse any suitors who tried to have their way with you. And you, you with your ‘womanly needs’ like anyone else would be able to take care of you like he could. No. No, he would make sure that after tonight you would remember who the fuck owns you.

---

After dismissing your driver, you made your way into the penthouse across from the Snows, opening the door and removing your coat, gloves, and shoes at the entrance. Coryo followed suit by unbuttoning his jacket and slipping off his loafers right by yours. Together. Yours and his – as they always should be.

Turning back around to face him, you saw the anger had faded a bit from his features, but a crease still lined in between his brows. He raised his hands to cup your face as he lowered his lips to yours.

This is heaven and I’m dead, you thought to yourself, still in disbelief that this was happening to you. You grabbed his own face in return with newfound enthusiasm as he groaned into your mouth, happy to have you reciprocating his own unhinged lust.

Tongues battling for dominance, you felt him tip your head upwards so he could completely devour your mouth – no question that he was the one in charge. Whimpering into him, he broke the kiss for just a second to see your fluttering eyelids open to him. Blue eyes peering down at you, he gripped open your jaw, spitting into your mouth.

“Swallow.” He commanded. And you happily obliged.

Placing his mouth on yours once more, he lowered himself to grip you behind the knees and lifted you around his waist. Dutifully responding, you wrapped your legs around as he began the trek to your bedroom, spit drooling from both your mouths as if you never wanted to be free from the other.

As he entered your room, you were becoming hotter by the second, needing to get this damned dress off of you. As he set you down on the edge of the bed, his nimble fingers reached behind you to slowly pull the straps down your arms, drawing out the action. He removed his mouth to quickly reattach it to your shoulder, following the line of your dress removal.

Getting to your elbows, you swiftly pulled your arms from between the strap openings, bearing your chest to him. Dilated eyes latched onto your breasts, with his mouth ferociously following suit. You moaned loudly into the room, encouraging him to latch his lips onto your nipple, running his teeth along the perked bud. Not wanting to leave one unattended, he lifted his hand to squeeze and tease your other breast, switching between the two as he saw fit.

“Fuck,” he groaned out as he pulled away. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

You whined at the confession. Wanting more, more, more of him. He chuckled.

Finally, slipping the rest of your dress from your body, Coryo growled as you saw you had no undergarments on. The amusement all lost from his face.

He slid his hand around your throat, putting a light amount of pressure on it as he pushed you into the bed. Your own hands went to grip around his wrist, hoping to relieve yourself somewhat of the constraint.

“The fuck, Y/N. What,” he snarked. “Are you some District whore begging for any scrap of dick you can get? Huh? Is that it?”

You attempted to shake your head as he still held you by the neck. “No?” he bemused. “Because walking around with this pretty pussy out on display doesn’t seem like something a Capitol purebred does.”

“Please, Coryo,” you squeaked out. His words were getting to you, along with the pressure still being applied to your neck, adding to your growing wetness. Attempting any chance at receiving friction, you rubbed your thighs together, drawing his eyes down to your ministrations.

“Awe,” he tutted. “Does my sweet little whore need some relief? Is that it?”

He cocked his head to the side, waiting for your impatient nod to come. As it did, he removed his hands from your throat. Feeling your release, you sat up to watch as he unbuttoned his dress shirt in front of you.

“Hmm. And what makes you think you deserve it?” He continued undoing each of the buttons while he raised a brow waiting for your reply.

You looked at him with a pout, widening your legs apart to give him a good view of your glistening pussy.

“Please, Coryo,” you begged once more. “I promise I’ve been good to you. Never even touched another man. Only ever thought of you. Only ever wanted you.”

He discarded his shirt as he listened to your own confessions.

“Only ever me?” he started working on his belt. “Tell me, love, did you think of me when you touched that dirty pussy at night? When you’d fuck yourself on your own fingers, disappointed they couldn’t fill you up enough?”

You were practically salivating at his words, voraciously shaking your head in agreement. You watched as he slipped his pants and socks off, only standing before you in his briefs. Looking low, you could see the bulge hiding behind the article of clothing, just begging to be set free.

Rising to rest on your knees, you looked up to him, eyes urging him to come closer. Doing as you so preciously asked, he towered over you, caressing your face. You practically purred in his hands, nuzzling further into them.

With your own hands free, you started palming at his covered cock. Coryo closed his eyes, pushing himself further into your reach. Enjoying the way you were making him feel, you felt the overwhelming urge to show him just how much you missed him.

“I want to taste you.” You pleaded to him, and his eyes immediately shot to yours as you began lowering the waistband of his trousers. He had an amused look on his face once more, watching his adorable little unsullied pet want to please him. With zero reservations, he let you do as you pleased.

With newfound confidence, you set his aching cock free. It stood straight like a good soldier –  with an angry red tip that was begging for your orders. He was larger than anything you previously experienced – not that you’d ever admit that to your Coryo. However, you didn’t actually get much further than oral activities with your former rendezvous’, hoping and praying that Coryo would be the one to truly mark your body as his. And thank fuck for that.

Bringing your attention back to your current situation, precum was pooling at the tip as you wet your lips in hunger. Gripping the base, you brought your mouth down to give kitten licks to savor his arousal, slowly starting to pump his cock in your hand. He groaned as you continued to give him just enough for stimulation, but not enough to bring him closer to that sweet relief.

“Don’t fucking tease me, Y/N.” he snarled. Grinning at his behavior, you finally enclosed your mouth around his member, eliciting a low moan from him as you took what you could into your throat. Slurping and sucking, the lewd sounds you were making only drove him further towards release.

Wanting to be good for him – only him – you hollowed your cheeks to attempt to take all those lovely eight inches from top to bottom. Breathing through your nose and working your way closer to the hair at the base of his dick, Coryo lost all semblance of his self-control as you sheathed his entire length in your mouth.  

Tearing your already loosening hair free from its previously styled updo, he replaced the pins and trinkets with his own hand, wrapping the strands around and pulling your head back so he could fuck into it.

“Fucking hell. Should’ve –“ He took a deep breath as your throat constricted around him. “Fuck. Should’ve done this years ago. You feel so good.”

You moaned around him, the vibrations bringing him even closer to that sweet peak. Letting him do as you pleased, tears pooled in your eyes from the abuse, but you loved every second of it. Having him lose his precious control around you was the biggest prize you could win.

And all that control was lost in the moment he finally hit his peak. Shoving his dick as far as he could into your mouth, he released every last drop of his spend into you. As he pulled out of you, you greedily swallowed everything he left in your spit-riddled mouth.

Coming down from his high, he flared his nose at you, watching you gulp up any remnants of his seed. He quickly gripped your jaw and pulled you close to his face. Aching from the brutal pace of his hips and now the snake-like vice he had on you, your jaw would sure to be sore for the next couple of days. Yet still, you whimpered up at him.

“Who else did you let do that to you?” Shaking your head, you tried to plead in your actions that you hadn’t – not trusting your own voice to keep your lies hidden. He would know as soon as you opened your mouth anyway.

“No one? You expect me to believe that?” He was growing angrier by the second. “Do you take me for a fool, Y/N?”

“No!” you immediately pleaded. You never wanted him to think you thought ill of him – not when he was your whole world.

“Then tell me.” His hold tightened. “Tell me so I can fucking ruin their meaningless lies for ever touching what doesn’t belong to them.”

You tried to shake your head again, but he held you still. His eyes bore into your own waiting for a reply. Realizing you weren’t going to mislead him any longer, you caved.

“Felix and Pup.” With eyes narrowing, his mouth lifted into a furious grimace. He threw your head backward as you hit the mattress in a puff. You took a deep breath and watched as he began to kneel on the floor by your bed, gripping under your thighs and pulling you until you hit the edge of the bed.

Inches away from your cunt, you could feel his maddened huffs of hot air escape from his mouth and onto you. Running a single finger through your slick, you gasped at the stimulation and threw your head back. Your fingers tangled in the sheets of your bed.

“You let those ignorant, dull bastards touch you?” He spat out. You lifted your head just enough to look at him before you felt him continue to play with your growing wetness, causing you to drop your head back down once more.

Not knowing what to say, you just continued to lay there, hoping that he’d continue to give you any sort of friction on your pleading pussy. Unamused by your silence, he stopped his musings and leaned back. You groaned into the air as you rose your head again.

“Yes.” You admitted. “But it didn’t mean anything! Please, Coryo. You know I’ve only ever needed you.” Attempting to play into his ego, you hoped that he would just get over it and go back to touching you.

“Yeah?” he said, still not touching you. “Then why should I even bother with a slut like you? Whoring yourself out to anyone who looks at you, huh?”

Getting fed up with still not being touched you threw your legs around his head, locking them at the ankles. Glaring down at him, he looked entertained at your angry state, even while still being in his own.

“Yeah?” you mocked back. “And what about you, Coriolanus?”

He raised a brow at your words, silently allowing you to continue your taunt.

“Whoring yourself out to District trash? At least I had the decency to suck a clean dick. What did you expect when you were running around with your precious little –“

Rolling your eyes back, your words died on your tongue as his own ran a strip up your now dripping pussy. Your legs attempted to close around his head, but his large, veined hands kept them apart.

Forgetting about whatever it was that you were mad about before, you started rubbing yourself on his face, whimpering every time his nose caught your clit. Without warning, he entered one of his long fingers into your hole, caressing your innermost parts.

“Fuck, Coryo,” you moaned out as your hands gripped onto the short strands of curls that were starting to return after his Peacekeeper days. Stretching you out even further, he entered another finger – curling it to reach a spot that you’d never been able to find yourself.

He suckled on your clit as he pumped faster, and you grew closer to your own climax. Squelching noises bounced around the room as your arousal pooled around his fingers – so, so, so close to a release.

“Please, Coryo. I’m going to –“ Before you could even finish the sentence, he withdrew his fingers from your heat.

“What the fuck.” You growled out, furious at the loss of your orgasm. But you couldn’t stay mad. Not when he was currently licking his fingers clean, eyes filled with pure bliss. Already, you could feel yourself growing wetter at the sight.

Popping his fingers out of his mouth, he rose to cage you onto the bed. He looked down on you as his arms were planted firmly on either side of you. He tilted his head, seemingly pleased by your struggles.

“Oh, love. Did you think I was going to let you come anywhere but on my cock?” He brought his head down close to your head, licking a stripe up from the base of your neck to the lobe of your ear. You shivered in delight.

“No, my dear. I’ve waited far too long for this to let that beautiful moment go to waste.” He spoke softly to you. “Though, while I do sit with the anticipation of how your release may taste on my tongue, I have the whole night for that. Along with the rest of our lives.”

Coryo softly caressed your face as a moment of vulnerability passed over his face, perhaps one of the rare times you would truly see the boy you fell in love with.

“She was never you.” He whispered.

And you melted. Tears started to well in your eyes at the sweet confession. While you were still upset at heart that he had ever chosen that whore Lucy Gray to begin with, you could live with the fact that he was here now. That he had chosen you now. And over your cold, dead body would you ever let him go.

Shifting your hands to hold the back of his head, you brought his lips down onto your own. Slowing down for just this moment, you tried to convey all your feelings for him in the movement of your mouth. And Coryo sighed into you.

He wasn’t a good man – you both knew this. He was controlling and obsessive and possessive, but he was yours. You weren’t that great of a woman either if you were being honest. Jealousy boiled deep in your veins alongside a pot of anger that constantly threatened to spill over your “kind” persona, but you were his.

In those tangled weaves of fate, you had both found each other, knotted up at the center. No person could come between that, and God help whoever tried.

Shifting your mouth so that he could more aggressively push himself onto you, you said goodbye to the tender intimacy and relished in the way he roughly handled you.

He continued to play with your swollen clit, readying your virgin cunt for his length. Oh, how he was enlivened at the fact that he would be the first, and only, man to sink his cock into your heat. This would bond the two of you even further than you already were, marking you as his forever.

Slipping off the undergarment that he still wore, you and he were now fully bare to each other – like the Greek sculptures of old. Lovers before the fall. Viewed as soft and malleable, but in truth were filled with the hardness of their years – ready to find solace in the only other being that could see them as they truly were.

Taking his cock in his hand, Coryo began to rub his cock up and down your wet pussy. You moaned each time he swiped over your pearl and even more so when he put a bit of pressure on your tight hole.

“Fuck, Coryo.” You cried. “Just put it in already. Please. I need to fucking feel you.”

Your sweet begging was like music to his ears, and the cut of his restraint. Wasting no more time, he slowly started inching his way into you. Grunting, he rocked himself into you as you grimaced from the pain.

“Shit.” He moaned out. “You’re so fucking tight. Just relax for me, hmm, love? You’re doing so well. My good little girl.”

His praises went right to your core as your body began to open up more for him. Sinking yourself further into the mattress, he took one more thrust to fill you up completely.

Looking at you with only a sliver of blue around his blackened pupil, he groaned low and deep from the back of his throat after being fully sheathed in you. You, on the other hand, were still adjusting to the intrusion, but soon the pain subsided and all you wanted him to do was move.

“I’m okay, love.” You whined, giving him the go-ahead to finally start rocking his hips against yours.

Ever so slowly, he ran his length in your heat, getting you both accustomed to the feeling – addicting yourselves to it, more like. And with every thrust, he began to lose that self-control once more, pushing harder and deeper into you.

“God, Y/N. You’re sucking me right in.” He clenched his jaw at the pleasure coursing through him as you moved your hands up to grip his shoulders, digging your nails into him.

All you could feel was him. In you. Around you. His smell flowed into your nostrils as sweat and sex filled the air around you. And you couldn’t get enough.

“Coryo. Coryo. Coryo.” Your brain was turning to mush the more you could feel him rib against your walls. His name a prayer on your tongue and his body a temple as you worshipped both and all.

“Fuck.” He grabbed onto the back of your knees to lift your legs above his shoulders. Switching angles, he could reach even more of you as he pounded you into the bed. Squealing from the stimulation and pure pleasure, you held onto the sheets in a vice, trying not to spiral away.

“Look at this pretty fucking cunt. All mine.” He started rambling as he became drunk on your pussy. “I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries to– fuck. Who even looks at you. I’ll fucking send them right to Gaul’s fucking mutations and watch as they die. Shit. I’ll fuck you right next to their corpse. Have them drown in their blood and our cum.”

His thrusts became more rapid as your cunt squeezed around him from his words. You couldn’t help the whines and moans as you thrashed your head back and forth.

“Hmph.” He grunted. “Like that, huh? Good. My dark little seductress. My perfect rose. Mine.” He thrusted into you.

“Mine.” Thrust.

“Mine.” Harder.

“Mine.” Deeper.

“God, yes.” You cried. “All yours! Please, please, please.”

Your words started to become unintelligent after you continued to search for your high. Coryo, noticing your state, began to play with your clit once more. Aching for you to cum all over his cock.

His own eyes rolled to the back of his head as he got closer and closer to his own release. With a foggy head, he quickly pulled out before immediately flipping you onto your stomach as you huffed out a disapproving whine. Filling you back up, however, had you right back to your drunken state.

“That bitch from 12 could never compare to you.” His tongue loosened confessions as he kept ramming his hips into your ass. “Fucking– fuck. Only used her so she would win. So I could– shit. Could go with you to University.”

You were barely comprehending his words at this point. Moaning obscenities into the sheets below you, you let him ramble without complaint.

“Make sure you didn’t try to find someone else there. No one– fucking damn it. No one else can have you. Gonna fuck you full of my cum and make sure everyone knows that.”

He felt you groan into the sheets again in pleasure. Gripping your hair, he pushed you further down as your back arched higher into the air. Keeping one knee on the bed, he bent the other to reach as deep as he could to fill you up.

“Coryo.” You drawled out in a lust-filled, husky voice.  

“I know, love. I know.” He felt you starting to twitch as your orgasm neared. “Never gonna let you go. Never gonna let you leave me.”

“Fuck!” You gasped into the sheets as you felt that coil tighten in your lower stomach. Tingles shot from your toes to your head as you waited for it to snap.

“Coryo!” you whined once more. “Please, I’m gonna come. Wanna come on your cock so bad. Let me come, please!”

Grunting, he reached around your torso to find your clit. Wrapping himself around you, he began twisting and rubbing on your pearl, making your release come faster and faster until –

“Come on my fucking cock, Y/N. Come on pretty girl.” And through his words and actions, that wave finally crashed as you moaned his name loudly into the bed. Legs shaking slightly, you kept rocking your hips back to meet his, riding out the best orgasm you’d ever felt.

You could tell Coryo was getting close too, by the way his thrusts got sloppier and paced quicker. He kept groaning your name under his breath wanting nothing more than to fill you with his seed.

Leaning his head down on your shoulders, he bit hard into your soft skin, marking his territory. You whined into the sheets as you could feel another wave coming toward you. Feeling you constricting around him had him suckling on the skin all over your neck – making sure there would be no doubts about who you belonged to.

“Fuck, Coryo.” You said as that coil began to tighten once more. “I want you to come in me. Want to– hmph. Want to drip with your seed.”

Growling right by your ear, he pushed even deeper into you, as the both of you chased your highs.

“Gonna get you pregnant with my kids.” Closer the two of you were getting, that beautiful high right in sight. “See your stomach swell with my babes. Over and over again.”

You both moaned out, so close.

All it took was one more deep thrust until Coryo painted your walls white as the driven snow. Your own release followed shortly behind as your body began to slump from exhaustion.

Coryo was entranced by the ring of both of your cum around his cock, slowly rocking it back into you to make sure it took. He will have you with him when he rules Panem. He will have you carry his children and be there to take care of him, as he would you. And he will never let you go.

Both of you falling into a mess of limbs on your bed, you couldn’t help but admire the man who lay next to you, wanting nothing more than for every day to be with him. An adoring smile graced your face as you traced his features.

He watched you with curiosity, before pulling you in by your waist to be even closer to him. You snuggled into his chest as his strong arms wrapped around you, sighing contently. Ever so slowly, your eyes began to droop, heavy with sleep. But, before you surrendered to your slumber, you whispered out to Coryo.

“I love you.” And you fell asleep.

His eyes widened slightly with fear. He feared for not only your feelings for him but his feelings for you. He never truly loved Lucy Gray, but you. You were always the holder of his heart, and he knew that was dangerous in the games he would yet have to play.

But he was a selfish man. He wouldn’t be letting you go, and he wouldn’t let anyone else get their hands on you – lover or enemy. He would keep you close, always in his sight, always safe. And really, what did he have to worry about?

“I love you too,” he whispered to your sleeping form.

Everything would work out for you two, he would make sure of it.

Besides, he thought to himself,

Snow always lands on top.

#coriolanus snow x reader #coryo snow #coriolanus snow #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #fem reader #coryo snow x reader #coriolanus snow smut #hunger games #reader insert #smut

[lilacsinjuly]

nineteen.

gojo x reader

summary:

gojo coming home to you after nineteen dreadful days without him.

cw: slight angst (if you being very upset counts as angst idk i’m kind of new here lol) & very miniature fluff, new chapter spoilers, daddy’s home

word count: 0.7k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

Nineteen days of cooking two meals, only for one to be discarded for the bin. Nineteen days of reaching behind you in bed to find a heartbreaking emptiness and an empty pillow. Nineteen days without hearing the jingle of his keys in the door, the warming, and loud, announcement of his arrival that never failed to make you smile, his soft kisses and delicate touch. Nineteen days of solitude and sorrow.

Somehow, this streak appeared to have been broken. You looked up from your untouched plate of food, an identical one sitting opposite you, at the sound of a knock on the door.

You dragged your feet towards the door unenthusiastically, all hope of it being the one you dreamed it would be, having dwindled gradually after every time you opened the door to a face that didn’t belong to Satoru Gojo. Each time just as much of a knife to the heart as the last.

But there he was. At first, you weren’t sure if the grief of his being gone and all other of the recent events were messing with your mind, but when he spoke, when you touched him, it all felt so real.

“I lost my keys, I’m sorry.” His voice was weak and sad.

All he had thought about was you. How you were doing, if you were in danger, if you were alive and protected as he couldn’t ensure it himself.

You had infested his mind constantly and without failure made him lose his mind with agony at the lack of your gentle fingertips trailing his skin and through his hair.

He pulled you into his arms immediately, having misunderstood the pain of not being in your touch for so, so long.

“You told me you’d be careful.” you sobbed, pulling away and punching him weakly in the chest, though he didn’t flinch, he just stared into your glassy eyes with his own a he caressed your cheek and pulled you back into his embrace as he muttered apologies

“I know baby-“

“No you don’t know Satoru!” all the pain that's been built up over the past two weeks finally being disentangled from your chest, crawling over him as he drowned in your misery. You pulled away from him again, taking a few steps back to take him in as he closed the door behind him and leaned against it.

“I haven’t been able to breathe or think or- I just-" you stuttered, not being able to get the right words out. "I missed you so much it hurt. I didn't know when you’d- I didn’t know if you’d come back and that killed me over and over again. The thought of losing you forever killed me.”

The feeling of him not being with you was so overwhelming. You couldn’t explain the grief you found yourself trapped in these nineteen days. Everything was a reminder of what you didn’t have. The reverberating silence of your shared home, the music you’d listen to together, the meals you’d cook together (mainly you, as he can’t cook to save his life). Everything hits you at once.

He kept his head down as though the site of your pain alone was enough to hurt the strongest.

“If I could take all this pain from you and put it in me, I would, a thousand times over if I had to and I really wish I could because seeing you cry and knowing I caused it I-“ he walked hesitantly up to you and took your face in the palm of his familiarly warm hands.

"I missed you. I missed you so fucking much." he muttered, placing his forehead against yours.

"I love you, Toru. Please don't leave me again, I don't think my heart could take it." you whispered back.

"I promise. Never again."

He had struggled immensely too, but all of his suffering only intensified at the idea of you being in so much despair at losing him, knowing you'd been rotting from the inside without your light to keep you flourishing.

You never once let him go.

When he carried you to the sofa and stood up to grab you some water, you refused, no matter how dry your throat was from all the crying. You couldn’t be apart from him for one second, in case it was all a dream that would end in the morning. And if that was the case, you wouldn’t dare waste a single precious second away from his protective and loving arms.

Everything felt so real, so when you woke up the next morning to the same spot that had been empty for the past nineteen days being occupied by the one you loved, your heart melted as your head nestled into his chest.

note: I MISSED HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

edit: help i dont remember writing this and i’m scared to reread it

#gojo x reader #fluff #gojo angst #angst #jjk spoilers #jjk angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo fanfic #gojo is free #free gojo

[br4inr0tx]

headcanons for dating sheriff newlon?

Yes ofc! Since I just watched the movie I have a pretty good grasp on him already, and I’m excited to write for him! I’m from Massachusetts so idk..I kind of resonate with this movie lol.

Tw - MASSIVE THANKSGIVING 2023 MOVIE SPOILERS, manipulation, loss of loved one, cannibalism(?).

Eric Newlon…

• Sheriff Eric Newlon. The good looking, friendly and dependable guy. He loves those who are close to him, and does anything he can to help a person out. He’s honestly, a great guy.

• Though as we all know, he has an intense sense of revenge from a woman he loved very much.

• No matter how you identify he at first would use you as a coping mechanism for Amanda’s death. It might be the smallest thing, like the same name, same laugh, same eyes, same personality..something about you just reminds you of a good time back in his life, and he can’t seem to let it go.

• The guy is manipulative, and it’s easy for him to pull the strings. If you don’t already like him, he can easily make you fall in love and join his side with the snap of his fingers.

• He’s genuinely charming, down-to-earth and caring anyway. Why wouldn’t you want to be with him?

• I’d assume you’d help him get through cases and cope with his loss in return. If he REALLY likes you that might not matter, but if it’s a genuine connection just someone caring about his well being is enough.

• I think Eric would also like someone who’s willing to talk about revenge. He’s bottled his feelings for so long, so someone that is willing to listen to and discuss harsher topics he’d enjoy; mostly for his own comfort

• He showers you in compliments pretty often. Sometimes he even babies you. It’s just a habit he can’t help but indulge in!

• Eric helps through hard times too. Though, watch out if it’s an issue with another person. I can’t guarantee they’ll make it out alive, especially considering how hellbent Eric is on the whole "revenge" gig. (I need a dollar for every time I say revenge.)

• He’s a pretty creative guy as we know. I’m not just talking about kills either. Dates and gifts are very creative and thoughtful, within reason an budget of course. I’d like to think giving gifts is as simple as you’d think either. He’d be the type of boyfriend to hide it in a funny spot or specific area for you to have fun finding.

• So, I’m not sure if this is just an act in the movie to get Jess in his side, but he seems really protective. Not just because he’s a cop either. If anyone talks shit about you he’d be one of the first people to stand up for you even if you don’t need it. Golden Retriever boyfriend mentality.

• Now..considering the more John Carver side of things..

• He wouldn’t kill you, he’d just let you enjoy the show. You’re technically a part of this now.

• Though be weary. Even if he acts nice and does nice things for you, he’s EXTREMELY hostile (pun intended) in his John Carver persona. Don’t do anything funny like escaping if he chases you, he won’t hesitate to hurt you just to put you back in place. Sometimes living with the pain is more harsh then just dying, remember that.

• Even if John Carver is a bit mocking, it’s in no way fake love. He’s simply giving you a happy thanksgiving with a glass of revenge, for the both of you.

• Also, remember how I mentioned he wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone that harms you? Well, they’ll be guests at the table on the livestream! Now everyone’s together, on the day of togetherness.

• Overall, you fill in the void he was missing after Amanda’s passing. That’s not to say he doesn’t appreciate you for you, I’m saying that you keep him from going absolutely insane and killing everyone in Plymouth there and then.

#horror #thanksgiving movie #thanksgiving #Eric Newlon #john carver #John carver killer #headcanons #slasher #slasher headcanons

[amascomet]

Ellloo, first time like asking something on Tumblr lol

But I'm sure you've answered this before and I just can't find it- but are any of your (tmnt) series going to be written up / (web)comic? Because I'd love to learn and read about your AU's!

Also, out of all your designs, who is your favourite? (I can tell you love Leo though so keep him out of this /j(joke) )

Hi!! I’ve got a thread for Gene Spliced on my Twitter.

Here’s the link —> https://x.com/amasc0met/status/1745957057671344325?s=61&t=eg7daRoqH7PJYTlpG3G0JQ

It’s only slightly outdated. Most of the lore is still true! I’ll be making a separate Twitter for it very soon as well. So far Gene Spliced is the only one that I’ll be making into a comic! It’s the one that’s closest to my heart and I’ve been putting a lot of work into it. 🥹♥️ I’ve got the outline for the first issue written so now I’m just sketching out the pages. Putting a samples below! (There’s a two pages between these sequences but I’m omitting cause spoilers lol.) I’ve never made a comic before so it’s also gonna be a learning experience for me. 😭 So happy people enjoy my GS turtles. I truly am.

The Divorce AU is something I’m still developing. It’s just on the back burner. Central idea for them is just Tang Shen is the one who mutated as raised them while Yoshi is the Shredder.

Embrace Legacy literally is just 2003 turtles return and experience IDW canon events. Idk how is to put it. Lawl. You can find more design concept stuff for them here and on my twt under just the #tmnt hashtag, though they’re def easier to find here I’m sure. But again Legacy designs are just rebooted 2k3 and double as my IDW interpretations.

As for my favorite designs- I really adore Legacy Donnie and GS Raph. 💜♥️ I really like how they came out but also the GS turtles all together are just my absolute faves. I love them so much. I’m so happy with all of them.

ALSO MY TENDENCY TO DRAW LEO MAKES ME SICK CAUSE RAPH IS MY FAVE. 😭😭😭 (I love Raph and Leo equally there’s just a lot of evidence against me. ⚰️)

Anyways I know that was a lot but tysm for your interest! I hope this all made sense.

#my art #amart #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt au #tmnt gene spliced au #gene spliced au

[isaaaxqii]

overthinking ₊˚ପ⊹ - gojo

summary : seeing gojo start to act differently, you go over to help him sort out his thoughts.

** : sfw, angst, fluff, jjk 0 spoilers !!

took me awhile to think of this😭😭 but my thoughts are also finally sorted out 🙏🙏 also idk if gojo still stays at a dorm in jj high during his teaching days but let’s just say he does lol

< 1.47pm >

as you walked through the hallways of jujutsu high, looking outside every window that you passed, you noticed gojo training with the 1st years out on the field. he had his usual smile on his face, teasing his students in any way he can, but most importantly helping them when they need it. however, you can’t help but feel like there’s something off about him.

it was just a few days after the death of geto suguru, and you could tell gojo was spiralling. though he was with geto during his last moments, he couldn’t come to accept his death. nevertheless, he tried to put on a smile on his face, being his usual silly and cheerful self.

therefore, nobody could tell that his mental health was getting worse. however, you were able to read him like a book, knowing what he’s feeling especially after significant events like this. you knew that he didn’t want to worry anyone with his feelings, and rather deal with them on his own.

despite that, you still had to check on him.

you knocked on his door, holding a thermos filled with soup in it, hoping it would make him feel better. you were met with a red eyed, disheveled gojo at the front door.

“may i come in?” you asked, before he steps out of the way to let you in.

his dorm looked messier than usual. believe it or not, his dorm was never this messy. he still tries to put in the effort in maintaining his dorm’s state of cleanliness, but with what you were witnessing you could tell something was very wrong.

you put down the thermos on the counter before following him into his room, sitting on his bed with him. there was silence between the two of you, not an awkward one, but rather a comforting silence. gojo seemed to have figured that you knew what was happening to him, and he couldn’t help but appreciate someone’s presence beside him during this period of time. that presence itself comforts him a lot.

“mind sharing what’s on your mind? gojo.” you spoke softly, slowly intertwining your fingers with his. he plays with your fingers gently as he figures out his thoughts.

where should he start? should he start from the time when he was beside geto, geto’s life draining slowly from his body as he says his last words, or should he start from the period after his death, when he starts to realise and blame himself for not noticing geto’s depression which had led him to turn into what he was.

he didn’t know how to explain his sorrow. all he could do was let the tears fall as he grips your shirt tightly, head resting on your shoulders. you placed one hand his back, rubbing small circles on it while your other played with his hair. he loves it when you do that, it was the best method to help him calm down.

“to be honest, i don’t know what’s happening to me. the longer i hold onto the memories of geto and i, the more i feel like letting go. but i can’t, because no matter how much i try, my soul doesn’t let me.”

you felt sorry for gojo. losing your best friend was hard enough, but he still had to put on a fake personality that contradicts what he’s actually feeling during school as to not spark worry in his peers.

you knew geto well too, being one of his friends during your student days alongside gojo and shoko. however, geto and gojo’s friendship was on a much deeper level, the pair being almost inseparable as they went on missions together, and mostly hung out with one another. sure, his death impacted you a lot too, but you’ve let go, knowing that he was in a better place.

“we used to say, “we’re the strongest” , but now only i can say “i’m the strongest” .” he mutters, sniffing every once in awhile as he wipes his tears.

you hugged him tight, playing with his fingers to help him calm down. he held onto your waist as he places his head at the crook of your neck, seeking comfort and love from the intimacy.

“geto wouldn’t want you suffering like this, does he? after all, he will care for you no matter where he is, and he definitely wishes only the best for you.”

you could sense gojo calming down at last, although he didn’t want to let go. you let him stay in this position for awhile, letting him rest on your shoulder. you will forever be gojo’s safe place, providing never ending comfort and care for as long as he needs.

after awhile, you finally got him to let go, and brought him out into the dining area of his dorm to drink the soup you had made for him.

“is it good?”

“tastes like home.”

gojo never wants you to leave him, ever.

both of my gojo fics are one comforting the other😭😭 i’ll think of something else soon 🤍

#jjk #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader

[beelsfridge]

Goodbye (For Now) Pt.2

Pt.1

Nightbringer Spoilers Ahead (maybe a little ooc)

Tags:(Angst/TBD)(TimeTravel)(SayingGoodbye)(hurt/comfort)

(Idk how to tag properly)

///

Synopsis:

You knew you weren’t suppose to stay in the past for that long. You knew you didn’t belong there. You had to get back to your time eventually.

And even if the brothers were warming up to you again, you had to say goodbye. The worst part was that they would never know why you really left.

.

.

“They mean forever Mammon. It means they’re never coming back.”

.

.

.

“Huh?! What are ya saying Satan?! Stop bullshitting!” Mammon yells at him.

You could feel all eyes on you stare you down in confusion.

“He’s right Mammon..”You say in a less enthusiastic tone than before. Mammon lols betrayed by your words as he steps back away from you.

“You’re leaving?…”Leviathan says with clear disappointment.

“I am..”You say as the air grows thick around you.

It’s quiet. A tension between you and the brothers that quickly becomes suffocating until Asmo throws himself toward you.

“You can’t leave!” Asmo yells out as he clings onto your arm,”You can’t! Who else will let me talk about myself and agree with everything I say?!”

“Asmo…”You say with a pained expression as you look to the others.

Beels eyes can’t meet yours as he mumbled something about no longer being hungry while Belphie mutters something about having a bad dream.

“Why?!” Satan says grabbing you by the collar of your RAD uniform as he yanks you from Asmo in anger,”You’re suppose to be our attendant! You can’t just leave!”

“Satan let them go you’re going to hurt them!” Asmo says.

Satan doesn’t move his grip from you and all you could feel is the anger and resentment radiate off of him.

You try to come up with a believable excuse. After all, they can never truly know why.

But why are they acting this way?

“Diavolo said I’d be your attendant until you’ve all adjusted to being in Devildom…” You tell him as you avoid eye contact,”And you’ve all adjusted to your lives here already so…”

“Bullshit!” He tells you immediately,”That’s not the reason and you know it! Tell me the truth!”

“Oi Satan! Calm down!” Mammon says.

“I can’t stand being here anymore.” Levi says bitterly.

“Let me go Satan..”You tell him with a sad expression.

You can see his angry expression change to one with guilt as he lets his grip on you go hesitantly.

“I just don’t …understand why...” He tells you.

You don’t respond to him. You didn’t think they’d be this upset over you leaving.

After all…they always didn’t seem to care when you were requested to appear at the House. Would it have been better to have just disappeared and not say anything like Solomon wanted?

You feel a gentle touch on your hand,”Don’t go MC..” Mammon tells you with a sad expression.

“I’m sorry Mammon..”You say pulling away from his touch,”Maybe you guys will understand one day…”

“Then why not help us understand now?…”Belphie asks,”Why?…” He seems hurt by your words,”Did we mean so little to you?.. sure..we weren’t ..best of friends ..and expressing ourselves hasn’t been easy..but ..didn’t we mean something at least?…”

“Of course you did. ….You don’t know how much.” You say honestly,” Truth be told…i was never meant to say goodbye ..the plan was to just disappear without ever saying a word.”

“That’s cruel.” Beel tells you.

“You were just gonna leave us and not saying anything?” Levi says hurt by your words,”Who does that…?”

“Would it have been better that way?” You ask them honestly,

“Of course not!” Asmo tells you.

Belphie shakes his head in disbelief,” I can’t believe this conversation is happening.” Beel hums in agreement.

This didn’t make sense. Sometimes you’d go days without seeing them and when you did reappear you were hardly acknowledged unless you were in the midst of their schemes. And let’s not forget the whole reveal fiasco that occurred.

“I don’t understand.” You tell them,” I thought you guys…didn’t like me?”

“What’s MC blabbering about-“ Mammom says clearly confused,”We care. Did you not pick up on it?”

“You ..”You say confusingly,”You….you care about me?”

“Of course we do!” Mammon says angrily,”Where did you get the idea we didn’t?!”

Been hums in agreement.

“Oh…” was all the words you made out. Did you just misunderstand? Or did you not notice that these versions of the brothers had different ways of showing they cared about you?

Oh..

You could feel the hot tears begin to fall down your cheeks,”Well..cause I was a demon and then I lied about it so I assumed…. “

Everyone looks at you with sad and tearful expression as you start to cry.

Levi has a surprised look on his face,”H-hey wait -don’t do that.”

“Waaa! Don’t cry MC! You’re gonna make me cry!” Asmo says as he hugs you lovingly as his face begins to tear up.

“I’m ..”you say between sobs,”I’m so grateful to have met you guys. I’m really going to miss you all.”

“When you say it like that..”Mammon voices breaks as he attempts to hold back his emotions,”Ah dammit MC, ya making me all emotional.”

“And we will miss you as well.” Another voice speaks out from behind.

“Lucifer?..”You say trying to stop your tears as you turn to his direction.

His expression is soft yet still stern. However in his eyes holds glints of sadness at your appearance.

He sighs deeply,”I had a feeling ..that this day would...” He tells you.

“but I was also hoping…”He says his eyebrows furrow,”that it would never come…” He says with a disappointed tone.

He looks at his brothers before looking at you.

He sighs as he grabs ahold of your hands,”I’m not the best, when it comes to expressing my true feelings..however..I think I can speak for all of us when I say..we are thankful for all you’ve done for us… you made the transition of living here, in the Devildom, easier. And We couldn’t have done it..without you…”

You can’t recall a time where he’s ever been this honest. But his words seem to Pierce your heart completely as you feel your eye bubble up again with tears.

“We will be sad…to see you go…”He tells you squeezing your hands tightly for a brief moment.

You can’t help it! It’s all just too much!

You find yourself hugging Lucifer tightly as the tears stain your cheeks. After a few moments you feel a hand pat your head gently.

“Thank you..”You whisper to him. You didn’t know how badly you needed to hear him say those words to you.

When you pull away you look at everyone else. While you’re sad that you have to leave them. You know they’ll be waiting to see you again.

One by one, you hug each and everyone one of them. Reminding them that they are just as important to you as you are to them.

You remind Belphie that if he ever has trouble sleeping again -to look to the stars and count as many as he can because somewhere out there you’ll be looking at them too.

You tell Beel to avoid eating foods that will upset his stomach and that if he ever feels an uncontrollable hunger to think of silly sad stories about that food. He tells you he’ll try. And you smile because that’s all that matters.

You tell Asmo that when he starts to feel insecure about himself that he needs to your words and chant them to himself until he no longer feels that way.

You remind Satan that he’s doing his best. And one day he’ll realize how far he’s come. And if he ever feels angry, to look at the cats in the yard and befriend them.

You look at Levi, he seems so upset. After all, he thought you’d be friends forever. But you remind him, that you are always going to be friends. No matter where you go, and you tell him that if he ever feels lonely, he needs to remember he has brothers who love him just as he is.

When you break apart from Mammons he pulls you right back in. You feel him hold onto you for his dear life. You feel his body tremble against yours.. and in a quiet whisper remind Mammon that he needs to keep his buttery fingers away from trouble and he laughs. And you tell him, that he is the glue for all his brothers. That he needs to remember he’s just as important as everyone else. That he has to look out for them because they’d be lost without him. He responds with a cocky”I know.” Before he lets your hand go with the last thing he feels is the touch of your fingertips.

And finally you get to Lucifer. Despite his cold touch and attitude, his hug is quite warm.

He tells you with a whisper as he kisses your top of your hand ,” if you should ever need a job as an attendant.” you’d know where to find him. Causing you to both laugh quietly amongst each other. As you pull away from him he grabs your arm gently back.

His eyes say it all.

“Don’t go.”

You grab ahold of his hands and hold them gently in yours with a reassuring squeeze.

And in a quiet whisper….

You bow respectfully to Lucifer.

His head runs circles at your words as he bows back.

“At least send a postcard or sum Yknow.” Mammom wipes his tears with a murmur agreements following his statement.

“That might be a little difficult -“ You tell him with a reassuring smile,”But I’ll try.”

“Don’t worry.” Another voice says. You turn to see Solomon standing there with a smile,” they’re in good hands. I’ll be sure, to pass their messages onto you all.” He extends his hand out to you.

You take it with a smile,”I can go home?” You ask him with hopeful eyes.

“It’ll be like you never left.” He tells you with a knowing smile.

“Alright then… I guess….“You say as you turn back to the brothers.

“Goodbye, for now.”

.

.

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me leviathan #om! leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer #obey me beelzebub #obey me mammon #obey me diavolo #satan obey me #obey me angst #obey me mc #goodbye for now (pt2) #pt2 #I tried to make this gender neutral #but I’m so used to writing in a she/her perspective #so if you see an error let me know so I can fix it!

[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

#i cannot tell if this is good or not i've looked at it for hours #ask answer #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me writing #obey me fanfic #obey me angst #obey me brothers #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me chapter 16 spoilers #otome

[theteasetwrites]

The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon | S1E1 Thoughts

Okay I am gonna list all my positive and negative thoughts regarding each episode (I know no one asked but I feel like this is the only thing I am somewhat “qualified” to talk about ad nauseam on here).

⚠️ SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️ do not read below the cut unless you’re okay with spoilers

Positive Thoughts

Norman’s acting is so good like?? Listen we all know he’s not Laurence Olivier and he doesn’t claim to be but goddamnit he nails the subtleties of Daryl’s expressions and conveys his emotions really well I think! I’m very impressed

Daryl hot

Obviously the cinematography, setting, and aesthetics are really cool. It’s both gritty but pretty!! I love the gothic architecture and how OLD everything looks, which is only exacerbated by the apocalyptic feel

Everyone in the cast is so good in terms of acting (well, I mean… Laurent is certainly there but he’s a child so we’ll be lenient)

Daryl hot

The walkers are great as usual. I love the burners. Really interesting! I’m kind of wondering if the “experiments” the people on the ship refer to relate to the burners? Maybe they’re making them like that idk.

I love the religious imagery. We have had cults and stuff in TWDU before but I don’t think we’ve had this Catholic vibe going on. I’m a sucker for anything nun related because I have a weird infatuation with them, so I’m all for it.

DARYL BATHTUB SCENE??? They put that in for the girls and the gays and we are LIVING for it

Daryl hot

Daryl is so reminiscent of early seasons TWD era with his witty lines and snark remarks. I feel like we don’t get to see this side of Daryl very often anymore, but now that he has his own show and is THE main character, we get to see those sides that have been neglected again. I also love how much he sort of scoffs at the nuns and their religion. Atheist Daryl we love to see it

It’s cool seeing people in France dealing with the same things our characters have dealt with since the beginning. It’s interesting to see these new parts of the world in this universe for sure

Daryl hot

I honestly just love thinking about how when Daryl gets home he is gonna have such a crazy ass story to tell everyone! It’s gonna be so cute to see him telling all the kids about how heroic he is and ugh yessss

Daryl deserves his own show. He deserves to be THE main character. People who said he can’t lead a show? Nah. Reconsider

I also love that Daryl MIGHT potentially save the world. Cool asf. And if anyone from the original series should save the world, I think it’s him.

Daryl hot

Negative Thoughts:

Okay. I have some very petty/subjective critiques. I realize a lot of you guys probably disagree with me but that’s okay! Don’t read my negative thoughts if you aren’t prepared to be annoyed with me lol. Once again, a lot of these are super petty/nitpicky

First thing that bothers me is that Daryl says he is from the Commonwealth. No. He is from Alexandria, thank you very much. Well, at least he should be. He should’ve been living at Alexandria imo but the finale didn’t really make it explicitly clear where he was living in that year time jump. Basically I just hate the Commonwealth because I have zero attachment to it and it’s just a stupid ass place that I wanna forget about

Daryl seeing Carol in his haze 🙄 … just annoys me solely because Carol annoys me. They could’ve just shown Judith because that would’ve made more sense to me. But don’t get me started, I don’t even want Carol in season 2. Anyway.

Laurent isn’t terrible but he’s kind of annoying in that “I’m so smart I know everything” way. Just very annoying smart kid at school who everyone hated vibes. Plus I just don’t think it’s realistic that he would be THAT smart just from being raised in a convent of nuns

I also fail to understand what they’re doing with Laurent. Is he just some kid that the nuns think is the messiah or is he ACTUALLY the messiah? Like are they gonna throw in a whole other supernatural religious element? Because Laurent conveniently knows Judith’s line from the finale “you deserve a happy ending too.” Right down to the letter. I find it cheesy as hell because I’m so tired of these blatant in your face parallels that are trying to be clever, which always involve children too like we get it children are basically the duck tape of TWDU. Don’t know what to do for this plot? Throw some kids in there!

Neither Positive nor Negative Thoughts:

I don’t trust the nuns. I think they’re gonna use Daryl to get what they want and they don’t really care about getting him home. Worse, I think it could be possible that Isabelle won’t let him get home. She already tried to keep him from using the radio. I’m not saying I hate her character or anything (I actually like her so far… as long as she stays friendly and not… overly friendly), I just think she’s way too invested in this “messiah” stuff to actually care about Daryl so I fear she will take advantage of him. We shall see.

Ok, those are pretty much all of my thoughts!

#twd: daryl dixon #the walking dead: daryl dixon #the walking dead

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

MW3 Thoughts VAGUE/NO SPOILERS

I just finished the campaign and I am, to put simply, confused. I was actually drafting my original chatty type of post and semi-watching the cutscene when I got the ‘complete the campaign’ achievement and felt my jaw physically drop cuz wtf? It felt so abrupt. Not even just for that character but also the storyline in general. Maybe the reg release is longer?? Idk

My og post draft:

So I got to the train mission… all I’m saying is NOTHING in this game is changing my current fic draft cuz I did NOT write over 42 pages of pre-established character x reader for this stupid game to do this to me.

And that is true! Ig it’s just gonna be a little sappier and more indulgent now that I know what’s canon, though I am NOT killing anyone off cuz fuck you.

I literally spent weeks writing this fic and thought ‘oh perfect, I’ve got some more content to flush out the story and characters by adding the events of MW3. It can’t change the fic plot that much.’

Yeah. So anyways. If you’ve played the prerelease of the MW3 campaign you know the pre-established relationship in this fic I’m writing. It’s poly!141 anyways tho so fun fun fun!

I’m going to have to spend a good week or two re-figuring out the timeline of events because I’m 99% sure the game messed up the timeline lol (that or Johnny and Ghost had met pre-MW2? But then their scenes together don’t really make sense in either game? Idfk)

Buuuuuut once that’s figured out I can post the chapters I already have earlier than planned cuz I already have some REALLY sappy loveydovey writing for that character and I think it’s needed rn. They’re decently long (usually 2-5k) and I’m p proud of them :,)

We’ll see ig. Post-game ramble over :,(

Oh and ofc can’t forget to mention how Price looked so good in those end cutscenes. Absolutely scrumptious. Delectable. Muah

Edit: okay so I’ve been doing some thinking… I’m still not killing off that character in my fic lol no not happening. BUT. I like the direction I can go with this for the rest of the characters. Hmmmmmmmm

-

<3

#call of duty modern warfare 3 #call of duty #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare fanfiction #simon riley #simon riley x reader #johnny mactavish #johnny mactavish x reader #ghost x reader x soap #ghost x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish #soap x gaz x reader #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick #john price #john price x reader #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #captain john price x reader #cod mw2 #cod mw3

[kanmom51]

Genuine question?

Has Jungkook promoted the others albums the same way he’s watched and listened to jimins. I haven’t watched all his lives as I don’t have the time and genuinely don’t know or don’t remember if he had or not. Like I’m like 50% sure he listened to wildflower or atleast played it on his live in like Jan-Feb but I don’t really know. Has be mentioned or played or watched any of SUGA’s recent album? My memory is really bad.

Like is it normal behaviour what he did for Jimin or a bit more compared to the others, has he played or interacted with the other members albums at all? I’m pretty sure if I remember correctly he may have played songs from Indigo + Jack in the Box but idk outside of that or if I’m right at all.

Like does anyone have the full rundown of what members projects he’s played + watched on Live since Jack in the box. I literally only remember him coming by Jimin’s practice & Hobi’s photoshoot/release party & playing Set me free MV and other jimin videos.

The answer is no.

He did watch Hobi's song way back in a live in 2022.

He also talked about Yoongi's concert and how he's seen it and wants to go see it live (which he did).

I'm not even sure he played songs from Indigo now that I'm thinking about it, maybe Flower-works. Yeah, I think he watched Flower works. I'd have to go back check, and forgive me, but I just can't be bothered, lol.

And I'm not just being a shit here. I don't feel like checking cause even if he did listen to a song that's exactly it - a song. Perhaps a couple of words about how cool that member is. And that would be a wrap.

What he most definitely did not do for the other members, and this is carved in stone:

Did not watch or listen multiple times to the same songs.

Did not watch interviews and shows with other members.

Did not watch compilations centered around the other members.

Did not repeat this continuously over several lives.

Did not plan ahead, set up scenarios (the guitar for instance) and give us spoilers for other member's songs or album or clips or choreos.

That, my friend, is JM exclusive.

And that is also why it was so damn loud.

And got many knickers in a knot in the fandom.

More so while folding JM's tiny red Calvin's.

And why so many in this fandom are yearning for a MV with JK 'proving' (this is where I link George Michael's careless whisper) he ain't into JM.

Cause, as you know already, JK ain't no gay, I have a whole expose series to prove it.

Just for funsies, here's my Jikook in Vlives (those were the days) masterlist.

Go and see just how much JM overload we got from JK starting on White day (previous Feb and Mar lives had him melt over JM comments, but the spoilers and JM promotion love fest started on White day with his "something very exciting is happening in half an hour" and fly away spoiler - oh, and maybe even an Angel pt. 1 spoiler too, let's not forget about that one).

Yeah-nah, no precedent to the way he promoted JM.

JM was and is his one and only.

Period.

#ask

[nineevees]

general thoughts on the wk “our blue and green world” special (for funsies)

they had me in the beginning, by the end they completely lost me tho lolol

!! SPOILER WARNING FOR THOSE WHO HAVEN’T SEEN THE EPISODE YET !!

things i liked:

the intro was!! very good!! loved how they started in space and then gradually zoomed into earth, that was really fun :D

always excited to see how the background of the final shot changes in these specials !!

right away i am so glad they finally color corrected everything i couldn’t stand how bright everything was in season 6 T_T

chris being able to just effortlessly fold his t-shirts into a stack made me laugh lol

i don’t care if anyone says the song sounded flat as hell. the disbelief i had when it first came on. “what is this music what is goin- IS THIS A SONG??” the pure, unadulterated joy i experienced from it. it may be cringe but it has set me free.

idk. i’m just glad to see all these characters back after the hiatus :D

the resplendent quetzal is!! so cool!! so pretty!! i’d love an episode just dedicated to it

saw someone say this already but common aviva W for inventing two creature power discs at once !! it’s her world we are simply all living in it

BLUE WHALES ARE AS BIG AS TWO BRONTOSAURUSES?? waow

i think ever since i’ve gotten past the age of. elementary school. martin’s nicknames for animals have been kind of hit-or-miss for me? (though it might just depend on who’s writing the script i dunno) but i liked kablooey!! (kabluey?) it’s a very cute name :D

zach remembered that he has hacker bots he can use (which are. arguably his best invention?? i’m pretty sure?? i get why they don’t use them every single time zach shows up bc that would get old quickly but it establishes that despite being a whiny man-child who couldn’t tell a walrus from a wombat or a wallaby, he can still be a threat to the wk team)

indri lemur my beloved 🫶🫶

and everyone’s been talking about that so um. let me throw my hat into the ring then.

i can see the intention behind trying to redeem paisley, but it just. doesn’t really match with what’s been established by her character?

the entire special hit me with subsequent punches of “wow this is a kid’s show and i am NOT the target demographic” when they were talking about the water cycle and explaining global warming. so it makes sense, in a sort of wish-fulfillment kind of way that they’d try and redeem the villain whose goal is arguably the most realistic out of the main four.

zach’s main gimmick is using wild animals for his own technology. donita uses wild animals for fashion. gourmand cooks and eats wild animals. yes, the latter two can and do happen in real life (not… really sure about zach’s but that’s not the point). but paisley’s gimmick was never about harming animals, but destroying the environment they live in, in order to build things for humans instead. she’s the kind of person who you’d most likely encounter in real life. redeeming paisley has nothing to do with her character (a businesswoman who finds nature “yucky” as seen in the spirit bear and Asian elephant episodes), instead her general gimmick. wouldn’t it be nice if we could get the people destroying animals’ homes to truly see how beautiful nature can be? so much so that they stop trying to destroy it and instead attempt to help preserve it?

(this is just a personal nitpick but paisley’s new design absolutely is NOT working for me srry)

after i watched the special i had some ideas abt how it potentially could have gone instead?:

don’t redeem paisley at all: again, i get the general idea of why they did this but also. it doesn’t?? line up with her character at all?? the way she was acting in the beginning was fine and perfectly in character for her. she just wants nature out of the way in order to complete her plans, and she has no time for zach being overly concerned with the wild kratts. you could argue that her knowing that dolphins and whales weren’t fish but mammals was foreshadowing to her redemption, but like… paisley’s not dumb?? donita has also corrected zach on not knowing his animals in the past so unless you’re also going to argue for a possible donita redemption in the future then. yeah. i dunno. the other villains didn’t need a redemption to make the special they were in interesting, i don’t see how this one should be any different.

another redemption fake-out, but do it much earlier in the story: i have. my own gripes about how the plot of this special went but we’ll save that for later. have paisley initially be dismissive of the wild kratts’s presence, but once she learns that the kratt brothers are arguing and that aviva, koki, and jimmy are spending all of their time trying to get them to make up, pounce on that opportunity. have her go all over-the-top (like she did in her canon redemption) and trick the wild kratts into thinking she’s turned good, only for her to turn on them in the second half. this might be too similar to “a creature christmas” though. this one would take up more of the plot if that’s any consolation?

give a hint to a paisley redemption arc, but don’t make her do a complete 180 right away: if they’re adamant on redeeming paisley (again, i see the general idea behind this gimmick-wise), then they could still do it and make it fit with her character. remember that paisley’s intentions are not to harm animals, but their environment (which is not any better, making that clear). she can still have her awed-by-coral moment, but maybe. tone it down?? she can have second thoughts about going with the plan, but have zach or rex* encourage her to continue. she steels her resolve, but remembers the coral, and hesitates. and the kratt brothers use that last-minute hesitation to defeat zach’s zachbots and paisley’s pavers. have paisley question why she couldn’t go through with it as she and zach leave madagascar. you could have aviva or one of the other wild kratts theorize that paisley has started to have a change of heart after seeing what nature is capable of, if left to thrive. but again: don’t redeem her right away. hint at it, and then explore it whenever she appears as the main antagonist in an episode of season 7.

*i’m admittedly not caught up on all of wk, but like. did paisley fire rex or something. WHERE WAS HE THIS ENTIRE SPECIAL??

as for the plot point of the kratt brothers fighting… yeah that definitely could have gone better.

(again, minor nitpick but jimmy saying that this was the first time he’s seen the brothers fight,, then implied that it happened every single laundry day,, but also he’s definitely seen them fight before? or had disagreements at least?? isn’t that the premise of at least two different episodes not counting this special. this script is also Not My Favorite. not sure how to explain it but some of the dialogue seems a little awkward?)

ik that the brothers get into danger 24/7 but i feel like. martin should be a little bit concerned that chris was getting squeezed to death by a green anaconda?? like you don’t have to make him overtly worried to the point of apologizing, but you could at least. make him look at chris with concern? i get that the point is that “oh no the brothers are fighting so they won’t help each other when one’s in danger” but. martin your brother is dying STOP SMILING NONCHALANTLY.

the resolution between the brothers was. kind of rushed? all it took was chris complimenting martin (“nice one, bro!”) and then activating some creature powers and then everything was fine. is. is that all it took?

if you liked it then that’s 100% fine !! i’m glad you enjoyed it :D it just wasn’t for me

just my personal preference but i think i would have preferred it if we spent more time with the brothers solo (martin at sea and chris in the rainforest) and have them come to their realizations that the planet needs both blues and greens to thrive separately. like martin sees the planktonic soup and acknowledges that the creatures who live in the ocean need a little green to survive. or chris sees how important rivers are in the amazon and remembers how the rivers will eventually flow into the ocean. and both of the brothers remember their adventures with each other (or aviva, koki, and jimmy remind them). they can still be stubborn and not forgive each other, but i’d like them to at least like. acknowledge each other’s pov and respect it.

or: do something with aviva trying to program two creature power suits at once (the brothers are both in madagascar at this point). like, what if there was a creature power suit malfunction where martin is a blue whale at first, but then turns into an indri. and chris starts our as an indri but then his suit malfunctions and he becomes a blue whale. the bros swap places, with martin going on land and chris going to sea, and then they realize that the other had a point - the land is home to so many wonderful creatures and so are the oceans. and how both are connected and make the earth their home. boom, reconciliation.

also another personal preference thing, i really wish they spent more time with kablooey/kabluey and mambiky (?). i’m here for cool creatures and i wanna see more of the cool creatures !! is that so much to ask for !!

also also. i think the indri-conda was born bc someone saw the pun potential and to that i say. no comment.

i still have. a lot of thoughts but i think i’ll just leave it there for now. ik i criticized it a lot but i did genuinely enjoy the special :D i’m happy to have the brothers back from hiatus and can’t wait to watch the other episodes !!

#wild kratts #wild kratts spoilers #our blue and green world

[prajjna]

Hello !!! ITS ME THE SCREAMING 1#FAN AND I JUST SAW YOUR HEAVYMEDIC FANART AND I’M JUST… <33333, I HAVE THIS QUESTION FOR YOU IF IT HAS NOT BEEN ASKED BEFORE, HAVE YOU SEEN EMESIS BLUE ? IF YES PLZ GIVE OPINION ABOUT THE ANIMATION AND WHAT YA LIKED, LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH AND WISH YOU BEST <3

😂 first of all, thank you so much and hope u happy too <3...

and dare u asked me about emesis blue ,

ok, here's my short opinion * spoilers, maybe? *

damn that animation is almost like a 165857567000$ lottery to me,

on the story side, in my opinion, the main story is confusing and the character's emotional line is hard to follow, also thetempo of the whole plot is bit a loose. but i think they intended that, to lead to various interpretations depending on the viewer. the ending was nice; the ambiguous mood that can't be sure what was real or an illusion, are they even existed or just all dead at the beginning *mind blow*

besides the story, if focus on the mise en scène, the color and lighting r just great!!

idk if u guys know already lol but my taste is really like this:

... strong color contrast(especially red & blue) and lighting(like spotlight, backlit)

and boom, look at them GO

ㄴsome of my fav scenes (edited a little bit to my taste / all sources from)

OH SO PERFECT, BEAUTIFUllLLLL

also each character's concepts are very unique and attractive (my favs r soldier n sniper) furthermore, they did a full dub too!! can't imagine how much effort put into this, just thanks to them for making it.

[conclusion : this is my bible, thank you.]

#ask #emesis blue #tf2 #blah

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

ok this time there ARE barbie spoilers but it’s just the things i didn’t like so feel free to ignore this if you had fun and don’t want me ruining anything! like seriously, i do not want to make anyone upset here because of how positive the fandom vibes are. i just wanna y’know, air out some dirty laundry i have with what i just witnessed

as a disclaimer i’ve only seen it once and it ended like 40 minutes ago LMAO forgive me for any name mistakes i suck with those

- ken never got closure and i get what they were going for, just having a bunch of guys repeat “ken is me” over and over isn’t cutting it. felt this way with the “hi barbie” intro. like yes, i get what it aims to accomplish, but god does it get grating

- SOME of the fourth wall breaks were good. most were not. weird barbie and all the discontinued barbies were funny, and the drinking water gag was great. but the narrator stuff was WAY too prevalent and i get that it’s camp, but it was a tad too much at times. i’m torn on the margot line because it wasn’t necessarily bad, i just think it ruined the moment a little

- SO MANY UNFINISHED PLOTLINES OH MY GOD. you’re telling me the travel montage was all it took for gloria and sasha to bond and fix their issues? we saw their conflict through barbie’s memory link, it was never elaborated on. not once. suddenly by the end they’re getting along. the same could be about weird barbie? she always embraced the weirdness so the apology and “un-outcasting” felt off because a) it seemed like she was secluded by her own will and b) the barbies were never necessarily mean to her, they just acknowledged she’s different? which she knew and was okay with and self aware of? idk i guess an apology is fair, but the way it was delivered implied a deeper conflict we never saw

- mattel boardroom. enough said. i get will ferrell probably has a contracted screentime for funny gimmicks but it was so grating and a waste of time

- in a similar vein, all the travel montages combined probably take up as much time as the real-world scenes. for a movie that advertised barbie in the real world at a seeming first glance, that basically never happened LOL maybe that’s on me for having expectations though

- listen, LISTEN. i know there’s a lot of conflict right now with the “boo forced feminism” propaganda spreading around and i swear on god that isn’t me. HOWEVER. i do think that the way they went about resetting free will and that super long montage from gloria was not handled as well as it should have been. do i agree with everything said in the speech she gave? abso fuckin lutely. but remember, SHOW not TELL. they created this brainwashing plot device only to immediately dismantle it with one #girlboss speech which imo, undermines the very point the monologue was trying to make. i just wish they did more actual empowerment and not cheap exposition via a shenanigans montage and a third party speaker reciting a well constructed feminist rant which was just… INSERTED into a feel-good scene. i was hoping for something more organic but that’s just me. like, the barbie feeling self conscious was on the nose, but it did its thing. it’s camp i expected that. by this point in the film however, i expected more

- last thing for now: the plot was just a mess i’m sorry. the beginning was slow and expositional sure i get it, maybe it dragged a little too long when you consider everything else they tried to shove into the runtime, but for a typical film that would be a decent portion of establishing a plot. the real world segment? god, so many open doors, most of them were ignored. 99% of the real world was gimmicks and throwaway lines. the bench scene was the shining gem in that pacing dumpster. mattel plot we already know i don’t like, minus the ruth part. i have a lot of thoughts on ken patriarchy that i don’t have time or effort to unpack right now, but it was funny. and then it went on way too long and became annoying but not in the good way, in the “i get this is camp but it feels stupid” way. gosling killed that musical number but for a film about barbie, that was a hella long ken segment. like, this was a ken movie with barbie having existential dread in the background. then a bunch of magical fixits happen and suddenly all conflicts are resolved through magical means and cheap jokes and imaginary character development!!! oh but they gave barbie a pussy we unironically stan that for her (i’m serious lol like i think the joke was such a lame way to end the film but it’s funny enough to say that this whole film all barbie wanted was gender affirming surgery. i’ll allow it for sheer comedic purposes)

TLDR: i have many many complaints but i don’t think the movie is bad. it’s just fun, not particularly good all around. IT HAS GOOD MOMENTS!!! I AM NOT DENYING THERE IS SOME QUALITY HERE! i just think its hit or miss and while not every film has to be a feminist manifesto, i think all the hype and expectations definitely oversold the actual film i just witnessed because it was not particularly good. but it’s fun! and it’s okay to just enjoy that, this is my initial impression but maybe i’ll grow to like it more. just wanted to put this out here in case someone else feels the same way and doesn’t want to take the fall for finding it mid

#barbie movie #barbie movie spoilers #barbie spoilers #THIS IS A RAMBLED POST ABOUT MY IMMEDIATE CRITICISMS NOT AN OFFICIAL REVIEW LOL

[trashlie]

ILY FP 219 (or, The One That Went to the Top of My Favorites List)

Hehehe is that an enticing enough, non-spoiler preview for you? lol I want so badly to tell everyone WHY they should be sure to FP this episode, but I don’t want to ruin it for anyone. Not that I think knowing what’s in there will ruin it, but I think the impact of going into it without knowing is just SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL. It’s BEAUTIFUL okay? That’s why you should read it - it’s beautiful! 

Idk where to begin with this one!!!! Over 24 hours later, sorting out my emotions is still difficult because I just keep wanting to climb the walls and start shrieking lmao AAAAHHHHHHHH! 

Those of us who are patrons of quimchee’s got a little teaser for this episode - the first part was SUPPOSED to post with 218, and quimchee said that 213-219 are all supposed to be parts of one much, MUCH bigger episode, so you know, if you want to read them all together, there you go! But anyway, even getting a little teaser of it last week, this episode was still full of so much new, and even what we got to see still hit just as strong. UGH. LISTEN. 

When the music hit me and I realized what it was? As we kept scrolling and Shinae furtively snuck back in? I CRIED okay lmao I CRIED. How long has it been since Nol last celebrated his birthday? When was the last time someone made him feel special on this day? Because he sure hasn’t allowed himself to. He hasn’t spent a birthday with friends - I mean, hell, this is the first time he’s even HAD friends who mean anything - and after everything they’ve gone through, everything he put them through, to see them show up just meant SO MUCH to me. I had no doubts that Dieter and Soushi would come through for Nol, but I didn’t think we’d get to see it so soon, either. I was so concerned that there’d been no time for them to talk at the party, that Soushi’s first indication that Nol was even there at all was seeing him fall into a glass table! Finding him bleeding out in the snow. 

How harrowing it must have been for them - at least Shinae has gotten to talk to him a little, has a little more insight into who he is, why he did what he did. I’m sure, in time, Dieter and Soushi will come up to speed, whether through Shinae or Nol himself, but even now, even with them NOT knowing or understanding, I think it makes it even more special that they showed up. Nol has been there when they needed him, whether they wanted it or not. He always had their backs, had a way of making them feel like they were special, like they matter. And now they all got to do the same for him, to return that favor. As readers, we know that Nol began those relationships with no real intentions, never intending those friendships to become real, but they did, both ways. There was something about Soushi’s commentary that really did me in - about how he doesn’t have bullies coming around anymore and even if he did, he’s got a buddy whose got his back ;~; How he went from wanting to take help from no one to coming around to the weirdly insistent boy. 

I love, LOVE, LOVE how all of their gifts related to the beginnings of their relationships. Again, it’s something about how it began on false pretenses, but how it became real and came to mean something to all of them that just really gets to me! I don’t know how to articulate it, the feeling of these people who desperately needed someone, being able to be that to Nol, that even though he’s tried to push them away, to run away, even though they have no explanation for his behavior, they still are there for him when he desperately needs it. I kept waffling for a long time on whether I thought Nol was intending to ghost everyone after prison, going back and forth even as he and Shinae talked in Minhyuk’s room. “Is he telling her this because he doesn’t plan to stick around?” But especially after all of these hospital scenes, I feel pretty confident that’s not his plan. Just like Soushi and Shinae never really intended to accept Nol’s friendship and thought they were fine on their own, I think Nol may be having that moment for himself.

Or, rather, I think he’s at a crossroads and is at war with himself. On the one hand, he doesn’t believe he deserves any of this. The way he talks about his birthday is so SAD; Shinae is right, people don’t talk like that! Was it a difficult pregnancy that Nessa had with Nol? Did his birth cause her harm? Is it just the circumstances he feels guilty for? Maybe he believes she’d be okay if she’d never conceived him? Maybe it’s because of his relation to the Hiraharas? He talks about people stepping on the burger - that definitely feels like it’s about the Hirahraras, taking his existence and making him feel insignificant and wrong, like he shouldn’t exist. But it’s the way he talks about the mistreatment of the cow sent to the slaughterhouse. It sounds like that’s about his mom - which could be the most he’s ever said about her. If his birthday is the burger, then the cow that became the burger would be her, right? I still have so many questions, ngl. Nol clearly has a complicated relationship with the memory of his mother - we know his childhood, before they left home, were his happiest memories, but at the same time, he can’t speak of the happy memories, or really, her at all. I don’t think the guilt is simply that he exists, and there’s more to it, whether it’s misconstrued on his behalf or just more puzzle pieces we’re missing. 

At any rate, Nol carries a heavy weight of guilt and has denied himself any joy or happiness, has never allowed himself to ENJOY things, lest they go awry. Probably like with his mom, and like with Shinae, a connection with him seems to end in danger. Of course, that’s not true - people end up in danger because of their own choices, and the choices of those around them - but again, we are talking about the way Nol views himself and the world. I think this is a big thing, too, because I’ve been thinking a lot about identity and perception lately, but I’ll try to get to that in a moment. 

For so long, Nol has been content with his self-inflicted punishment, but then he accidentally made real friends along the way. His quest to help people went off track. And for a while, he tried to fix that. He pulled away, he stopped responding, he tried to completely and cleanly cut them off, he drew the line and let them know. But here they still stand after it all, and he can’t help but appreciate that. The way my stupid heart flipped when he hugged Dieter and Soushi and told him he loved him. That feels like the most genuine expression we’ve seen on him in a long time - and for him to be so forthright with them, to even use that word at all! This is what makes me feel certain he doesn’t intend to ghost them. Why would he tell them that if he planned to leave? Why would he accept and embrace their friendship if he didn’t want it? And that’s the thing, isn’t it? His internal war is his wants vs what he thinks he deserves. It’s the fear that he brings harm to people, but that DESPERATE LONGING for that closeness. 

Throughout ILY we’ve seen so many times Nol wanted to reach out and denied himself the opportunity, for whatever reason. Countless times he’s reached out to Shinae only to close his hand into a fist and restrain himself. All that loneliness is haunting. I think it’s around the time they went to the arcade that Nol knew these relationships were real, and it was the arrival of Yui that reminded him he can’t do this, he can’t let his guard down, he can’t indulge his desires like this. To have that taste for friendship, for what it feels like to just let go, to be around people who don’t spend all their time trying to tear you apart, to be around people who CHOOSE your company, who CHOOSE to be with you? And then to retreat? He tasted something so sweet but had to give it up.

And now, after everything he’s done, they still show up for him, they still sat by and watched over him, they still came to CELEBRATE him? How can he continue to deny himself this? How can he close his fist and walk away from it? 

But, and my god I realize this is a very verbose point lmao, the point I’m getting at is, in the same way that Soushi and Shinae refused his friendship, in the same way that they thought they were better off on their own, I think Nol is at that same crossroad - is he better off alone? How bad is it, if he indulges just a little? 

I hope he thinks long and hard about what Shinae said very early in the evening, too. Whether or not he believes he puts people in danger, it’s not his call to make. Friendship is a two-way road and they, also, deserve to make their choice, to choose him despite the danger. It wasn’t Nol that put Shinae in danger. Maybe in a convoluted way you could say so - she’d never have called on Kousuke for that favor he owed her for getting Nol to the hospital the night of the masquerade - but regardless, Yui acts on her own. I realize this is not easy for Nol to see, because of what a deep-seated belief this is, but I hope it’s something he’ll consider more and more. 

There’s so much I could write about the birthday party ALONE. How wonderful it was to see them all together again after all this time, the sweet callbacks to their beginnings demonstrating how far they’ve come, how much they mean to each other. Nol is SO loved, and I hope he learns to wear that love as a much needed suit of armor. What does it matter that his family is trash, when this, his found family, makes up for it in so many ways? What does it matter that some people chose to make him feel insignificant, when he has people who choose to celebrate him, and the fact that he’s in their lives? ;~; That little happy smile and blush he wears when Shinae pointedly tells him they want to spend this night making him feel special ;~; It fucks me up lmao like lakjfkjafkjaf I’M GETTING WEEPY WRITING THIS ALL OVER AGAIN LMAO 

NOL DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED. HE DESERVES TO FEEL SPECIAL. He came into their lives and individually made them all better. There’s an argument to be made that it was Kousuke’s financing that made Soushi’s life better, but we know that HE chooses Nol. That his companionship with Nol makes his life better. If not for Nol, where would they even be? He deserves to be celebrated because he’s brought so much good into other lives! And he deserves a return of that, too. All the good he tried to put into the world to counter the guilt he wears, all the good he denied himself and thus brought to others. GOD. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ;~; I LOVE THEM, I LOVE THIS GANG I hope in the future we get to see more of them, now that we know how close their bond is, how much they mean to each other ;~; 

DIETER’S ORIGAMI DUCKIES AND THE LITTLE BIRTHDAY MESSAGES! THE CALLBACK TO NOL AND THEIR MORNING RUNS AND THE STILLNESS OF THE WATER AND THE DUCKIES ;~; Apologizing that these aren’t the best presents, that there’s no cake, but aren’t they? Isn’t this the best? There’s something about people spending their time and energy to create something for you that REALLY gets to me. Every time a friend hand-makes something for me, I just cry and cry lmao. Maybe origami duckies and happy birtday on a cake isn’t a lot of effort - but the point is that they TRIED. That at the last minute, they came up with something to try to return the kind of friend he’s been to them. They ARE the perfect gifts. What else could he possibly need more than to know that he is important to them and means so much? 

AND THAT WAY HE LOOKS OVER AT SHINAE, THE WAY SHE QUICKLY LOOKS AWAY, THE FLUSTERING, THE LITTLE BUTTERFLIES WE FEEL ON HER BEHALF!!!!! AUGH. 

I find it so cute and funny that Shinae was too shy to give Nol her gift at the same time, feeling that it paled in comparison to Dieter’s duckies, but personally, I think it’s right on par. Just like their messages, Shinae’s gift harkens back to the earliest days of her friendship with Nol, the orange soda she spilled on him, the fear he’s allergic to oranges lol, what she drew on his face the day following at that deli lol “You don’t suck that much” All the way back in episode 4, she told him “You’re a human first. And humans suck.” WHAT A CALLBACK!!!!!!!! Idk like, to me here gift was so on par, but also, it’s something that conveys a sense of feelings and being who she is, I don’t blame her for feeling a little shy about it.

ESPECIALLY COS MY GOD THERE’S SO MUCH SHYNESS IN THIS EPISODE MY GOD!!!!!!!! 

It’s been long established that I am here for the soft shit, the tender shit, for little stolen moments laced with intimacy, stolen little moments of calm in an otherwise turbulent storm. IT’S MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Dieter and Soushi on the spare bed in the room, while Shinae lays her head again on Nol’s bed, the both of them refusing to sleep. Shinae probably fears that he’ll disappear if she sleeps, that he’ll slip through her fingers; Nol probably worries that when he wakes this will be over, the calm, the good feelings. There’s something so TENDER about them trying to delay the inevitable, to stretch the last remining time. And, again, with Dieter and Soushi sleeping (god I hope Dieter is sleeping), everything that follows just feels again like a little stolen moment, just like every other moment they share together. 

The shift in Nol and Shinae’s relationship dynamic is practically palpable. How many times has she gotten flustered over his gaze this night? How many times has she been unable to hold that gaze?! I’m a sucker for this! There’s likely a number of reasons that have brought this reaction out of it. It reminds me a lot of episodes 117 and 118 with the nugget crushing hand holding and the shared music moment - how Shinae marveled over her hands afterward, how she had to go lmao hold Minhyuk’s hand to feel it out. That, and the little flashback snippet of Nol doing her make up at the formal seem to be the times that Shinae has been most affected by Nol, and I think in a lot of ways they resonate with the version of him she knows now. But that’s the other thing. She knows more than Dieter and Soushi do and through that, she’s aware of that significance and I think it’s absolutely affected her. They’ve been so incredibly vulnerable with each other all evening - Shinae being so uncharacteristic and saying so many heartfelt, sentimental things in effort to reach Nol, sharing her story about middle school, the reveal about Alyssa, the little things he’s let slip about his family dynamic. Shinae is already seeing him in a new light, and so much of it is just raw and she’s yet to have a moment to really sit down and take in everything. But also, the GLANCES, his INTENSE expressions. 

I was talking to someone on reddit about this but the thing is - this isn’t Shinae’s first meeting with Nol like this. In so many of their shared moments, this is the person he’s been, letting down his goofy mask, talking seriously with her. The break in at her apartment, the phone call after his family dinner, the scene at the wac, the breakdown on the hospital terrace, the time he gave her his extra taco. Though not as raw as this Nol, the edges softened and blurred more than he is now, she’s come face to face with this iteration of him. It’s the intensity that is so new. And lmao that intensity is what makes him so alike Rand, who made Shinae quiver LMAOOOOOO it’s so funny that this is finally catching up to her, that their appearance is finally frazzling her. But I think it’s a culmination of all of this. There’s an awareness at the tip of her tongue that she’s yet to voice, yet to confront, but she’s certainly acting on it. The stolen glances, the flustered glances away, the way she is so WHOLLY affected. 

It’s only just earlier this week, as far as the timeline goes, that Shiane realized HOW important Nol is to her, HOW scared she is of losing him, how much he means to her. Dieter used the l-word! It’s not a casual friendship. And his significance to her seems to dance along the border between platonic and romance - you can be significant to someone without it being romantic, you can be a person someone doesn’t want to lose without it being romantic. But SHE has to find that significance, she has to figure that out. All this shyness and flustering - is it the newness of this side of Nol, of all this vulnerability shared between them, or is it something more in the ways they bring comfort to each other, the ways they seem to stabilize each others’ world. I don’t think we’ve seen it demonstrated as strongly as we have with Nol, how Shinae’s presence and can center Nol and root him in the present, but I think we’ve seen a few instances of Nol being the same for her. 

This is one of those things about love and romance and friendship that fascinates me. At what point IS it romance? At what point does that friendship turn into “I want more of this I need more of this”? You can receive comfort from so many people, so at what point does it become something romantic?

And I think that’s what Shinae and Nol are toeing. Nol, certainly, is becoming more aware of that affect she has on him, the way she roots him to the present, the way she brings him much needed peace. Does Shinae realize yet the way she seeks him out? Does she realize how much peace she’s also gotten from him? 

And it seems so mutual, the way Nol gives in and indulges in the peace, the way he initiates these little moments of physicality. And it could absolutely be nothing, it could absolutely be just a casual touch amongst friends, except it’s them, and she’s flustered and looking away, and the butterflies seem to dance off the page. It’s the way he looks from her gift, loaded with what began their friendship what brought them into each other’s lives, and looks over at her trying to drown out his reaction, too embarrassed (TOO SHY!!!!!!) to see, that eyeless frame (QUIMCHEE DOES THIS SO MUCH! SO OFTEN! WHEN SHIELDING NOL’S FEELINGS!!!!!!) when he reaches over with his fingers in her hair.

HE DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT. HE COULD JUST TAP HER SHOULDER. HE COULD JUST SCOOT NEARER. BUT HE DOESN’T. IT’S HIS FINGERS IN HER HAIR, NEAR THE SCAR THAT PUT HER INTO DEFENSE MODE except she’s not, and he’s there, and she can’t look directly at him and he moves in close and it’s so INTIMATE it’s so TENDER it’s like the earbuds sharing moment except somehow even MORE because now she’s aware, NOW the fluttering is there, the stolen glances, the close proximity, the way he relaxes when he’s close to her, the way he is being so much MORE than he’s been before. 

His tapping finger and that coy, flirty, finger dancing?! The way she glances away as her finger dances towards him, on some level aware of what it means what it is a little too shy too coy, he way he hesitantly joins in and it’s something so SILLY so GOOFY such a light, light moment and GOD it’s beautifully done? You can FEEL the flirtiness of it, you can FEEL the little butterflies, the shyness and hesitation. The way Nol’s smile fades and he becomes serious before his finger hooks around hers, the way she thinks he’s playing until she, too, realizes, he’s not UGH. /UGH/ I SCREAM!!!!!!! How is it that a single finger hooked around another makes me scale the walls like this?! It’s such a small thing, but it’s so BOLD, initiating a dance even though he must be in pain! His back?! His body?! He’s not even on morphine ;~; He’s just. ENDURING IT. 

And idk, I never know what’s going through his mind. The dance she offered him that they never got to share. Something more significant than fingers dancing, something that means MORE. 

And again, that’s the thing. I think he’s so at war with himself. He’s still calling her Yoo, but he’s touching and so close and initiating that dance and he can tell himself it doesn’t mean anything, but he already knows. He already figured that out last episode. Soon he’ll be gone and he’ll be away from the people he loves, all alone again, and he’s scared to go. He still can’t bring himself to use her name, he can’t be so familiar with her - and yet is this not a more familiar way of being? I feel like part of is is that feeling of how fleeting this moment is, wanting to capture as much of it as possible, finally acting on what he wants. All those times he’s reached out only to close his fist, and this time he isn’t hesitating, this time he isn’t denying himself. This is what he wants, so he goes for it. 

Will he regret it? I hope he’s far enough beyond his point of no return that he can’t. I hope he’s acting out of clarity that if this is the case, if this is how he feels, then why shouldn’t he allow himself this. Perhaps there’s fear that when he comes back it will all be different, that this will be a fleeting dream and everyone will move on without him. It feels like the cusp of a dream and reality, where you allow yourself to indulge because soon you return to the real world, to the waking nightmare of reality and this will be all you have left to carry with you. 

It feels even more likely when he crumbles when she mentions when he returns. Perhaps it could be that he DOES intend to never come back after he releases, but idk, I guess I’m just so hopeful that’s not the case? It could be a parallel to the hug in the rain, when she asked if any of it was real and he hugged her because it wasn’t until it was and he couldn’t bear to say so. But it also feels so much like he’s afraid. The way he buries his head in her shoulder, his face hidden so she can’t see his emotions, their hands still held at their side feels so much like he’s afraid and doesn’t want to say so, wants to put on a brave face but he can’t. “When he returns” because for a time he will be away and he just had the sweetest taste of calm and when he wakes up from this dream the waking nightmare resumes, he’ll again be all alone and it’s so much harder to go back to alone when you’ve had a taste for this, when you’ve indulged. How can he go back to before, how can he face this new stage alone? 

It’s such a sad little scene, the way they’re standing together, another dance interrupted, but at the same time, there’s something sweet. Very bittersweet, I guess. Maybe it’s just because he’s too weary and hasn’t had it in him to put up the walls again, but to see him, yet again, seeking that comfort in her, allowing himself something he once would have denied himself. Allowing himself to feel his feelings and to comfort himself. 

There’s just so much that is beautiful and painful about this episode. For this to be the first time he’s felt peaceful and calm and he nearly died in order to have this moment? The knowing that he will have to leave, that he’ll have to return to feeling small and insignificant, that he has to face a new fear when he goes to prison, when this little suspended moment in time is all over. While I personally think - or hope - we’ll get to see a positive transformation from Nol while he’s locked up, thanks to the counseling he’ll be going through, it’s still hard to watch him have to leave this. I don’t want to romanticize his sentence by any means lol but I do think being away from his family, away from the people who chip away at him and tear him down, can give him so peace to confront what he hasn’t been able to. I don’t think it will be a total transformation of any kind - just the necessary first steps. Nol needs to be away from the Hiraharas, and to learn to see the worth in himself. 

I mentioned this earlier in this post, but I’ve been thinking a LOT about perception of self, and how others see us. For instance, the version of me that I intimately know, that exists to me, doesn’t necessarily exist to others. Likewise, there are people who will see me in very different ways than I see myself, and it’s not that they don’t know me well, it’s just that we all are different people to everyone we know. We’re multifaceted and shaped by our experiences, but also by our actions and how we’ve affected the people with whom we interact. 

Nol sees himself as a villain, as a monster, as someone who needs to be punished. But that’s not the version of him that Shinae knows, or Dieter or Soushi, either. To them, he’s a hero, he’s someone who does good. Shinae described him as the sun and while I think that’s partly because of his bright smile and bubbly personality as Yeonggi, I think it’s also in the way that he can make things a little better for everyone. Nol has never been able to see himself the way others see him, though, because he’s so pre-occupied with the version of himself he knows, the one that’s been so heavily influenced by the Hiraharas. That he’s a mistake, that he shouldn’t exist, that everything would be better without him. And because he can’t see those versions of himself, he can’t see that it’s not true. Shinae certainly wouldn’t be better off without him, nor would Soushi or Dieter. BECAUSE he’s in their lives, they are better off. And that’s what he needs to learn to see, to reconcile with the version of him that exists. Because sure, that’s part of him. Maybe it’s not correct, but it’s a part of his identity. But so is the version of him that exists to his friends. So is the version of him that Nana loves. And obviously, it’s not so easy to wake up to those sides, because of how overwhelming this version of him is. But I hope that time away from the people who feed into that image, with some counseling might help him start to clear that away and better see himself for who he is, all the multitudes that he is. 

Because here’s the thing - people contain a range of good and bad, that’s what makes us human. Our choices ultimately define that, but so do our circumstances. This is why I can offer empathy towards characters like Kousuke and Alyssa who have made choices that we wouldn’t consider right, but make sense for their circumstances. Nol contains so much darkness, but he also contains so much light. Maybe he’s not as radiant as Yeonggi - but maybe it’s only because he hasn’t had the chance to be. Who could he be with a break from the people who tear him apart? Who could he be away from their influence? That’s what I’m keen to see, and that’s why I think he’s not intending to leave everyone after prison - or at least not GHOST people. Maybe he does need to get physically away, go to college abroad, but that doesn’t mean he’d be abandoning his friends this time. 

Nol’s real family sucks. But this family - his found family - they can bring him the joy and happiness he deserves, even before he thinks he deserves it. Again, maybe I’m just being really hopeful, but I just feel like this is a significant, defining moment for him, hopefully the beginning of him realizing he’s allowed to indulge, he’s allowed the same comfort he’s offered to others. 

Gosh what a tangent lol I know this post would be a mess. I JUST. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS. I have sooooooo many disorganized feelings seeing Nol like this, how sad I feel how happy I feel how much my stupid heart pitter patters over his interactions with Shinae. The callback to the dance at the formal where she was so uncomfortable (BUT NOW! NOW! SHE’S NOT!!!!!!) the teasing about her dancing, and he WILL miss her. HE’LL MISS HER! UGH /GOD/ 

But boy do I hope Dieter is fast asleep lmao ;~; I don’t think Shinae or Nol are ready to face what is unfolding, but Dieter reads them so well, he’s aware of things before they are. He knows what he is, for lack of better word “competing” against, and I think maybe he even knows it’s a losing battle. He made his move and she turned him down and I think he’s accepted her friendship with grace and delight - getting to know her better, getting to grow closer to her than he ever thought. And god, isn’t it painful to watch her and know that she seems to be drawn somewhere else, that it’s nothing you can do anything about? Because Dieter loves Nol, too. He probably understands how someone would be drawn to him at all! And while I think Dieter is a character who would handle things with grace, it would still hurt. I don’t think Shinae and Nol are a thing that, if they ever happen, would do so any time soon, and by that time I like to think Dieter would be over Shinae in that way, that they’d be close friends still, that they’d be people who root for each other and want the best for each other. But for him to have that awareness NOW, ugh the pain. He’s already taken note of the way she is with Nol vs how she is with him, the way she was so overwrought when they found out about all the secrets and lies, when they found her crying in the rain. 

I DON’T WANT HIM TO GO THROUGH THAT DAMNIT ;A; 

But we are definitely at this point where it’s a little too obvious to deny, a little too obvious to look away from. Any attempt at earning Shinae’s affection feels like you’re competing with something else. Even if she’s not ready to face it and admit it yet, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist. Whether or not it’s romantic or not is for her to decide, but for us as readers, we know that it’s something significant, that they have a mutual effect on each other that’s undeniable. There is so much trust shared between them now - despite it all, she trusts him, and he knows now that he can trust and rely on her, too. And as an outsider, it’s just obvious that something is there, however that something is defined. It’s not a stretch to say that Nol takes a priority, that she will at this point push things aside for him. 

Even romance aside, I think this is a dynamic we’ll be seeing a lot of going forward, because Nol still is not fast to open up to people and to rely on them. Trusting Shinae like this, letting her in to this more vulnerable side, I think defines a lot of their relationship to come as they evolve. Maybe Nol will leave and go abroad and maybe Shinae will date other people in that time, but I think we’ll see that Nol maintains a special place in her heart, that will be difficult for a lot of people to compare to. How do you compare to someone who has these experiences with her, who has developed a bond through these trials and tribulations lol? 

GOD. 

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS I JUST. WANNA!!!!!!!! SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochain #Stalkyoo #Aegi #gotta.... keep other things from the tags for now so i don't SPOIL huhuhhu #i'll try to remember to add them in a month LMAO #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #/AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/ #FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #Idk if this post is too rambly or if it's coherent or what #it's like 4 a.m. and i've been rambling on this for like 2 hours trying to get it all out and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #pls pls PLS feel free to respond in the comments since i've marked this for spoilers lol I JUST. WANNA YELL #and also i'm v curious to hear other peoples' thoughts on certain things in here i wanna know if you agree with my expectations/hopes #I feel like i'll be expanding on some thoughts in here at another time but also for now I'VE JUST TRIED TO WORD VOMIT EVERYTHING OUT #so many soft and tender feelings #a little sad a little wistful a little bittersweet #but mostly just so much hope #what a truly truly beautiful episode #definitely read it with the sound on because the music just punctuates PERFECTLY the tone is just SO RIGHT because of it #;~; #now i'm gonna go cry again LMAO #ILY Commentary

[an-au-blog]

The college au is so full of angst I’m trying o come up with fluff set after a possible „talking it out“ scenario and just love the idea of Buggy at a party with a bunch of folks he doesn’t know feeling out of his area. He’s not technically a shy guy, he’s pretty outgoing if anything actually, that’s how he met Alvida and Mohji and „Mr. Three“ Galdino and so on and so forth, but Shanks is truly just the life of the party, Shanks talks to everyone and makes them feel welcome and everyone seems to absolutely love Shanks, as opposed to Buggy, who’s keenly aware his abrasive personality scares people off unless they are forced to spend more time with him (Or if they are like Alvida and can just dish out as much as he can)

So he nurses a little solo cup on his own and stews in his misery until Shanks suddenly drops next to him onto the couch and snuggles up to him all happy and affectionate. They banter a little until someone comes in to ask Shanks if he wants to come out and play Mario Party with everyone, before glancing at Buggy and inviting him along mostly to be polite, but Shanks is just in pure affection mode all „I’ll join you guys later. Have you met my boyfriend? This is Buggy, I told you about him.“ „Yeah you mentioned you have-„ „Buggy I just got done talking to uhhh-*snap snap* Pardon me I forgot your name- but she was telling me about that makeup channel she has and I told her „My boyfriend does absolutely AMAZING special effects makeup.“ and showed her the stuff you did for my Halloween costume and she asked me where I got the coat from and I just went „Get this, he also does sewing in his spare time and-„ Just completely in worshipping boyfriend mode until the other party , obviously not interested in listening to this, excuses herself.

By the end of the night Shanks is just resting his head in Buggys lap , clearly content with himself and his place in the world while Buggy is still processing that his boyfriend loves him so much he will just introduce Buggy as his boyfriend without a second thought, something he always doubted would happen, because … he’s Buggy and who wouldn’t at least slightly cringe at introducing him because… he’s Buggy. And also that Shanks thinks so much of him he is will absolutely talk peoples ears off when he gets the chance.

Idk what kind of psychic reading shit you're doing but it's working because I'm so serious when I tell you I'm in the middle of writing chapter 7 and (spoiler alert ig) there's gonna be a party in it ahaha

But don't worry, there's no actual angst yet, the real angst lays ahead, but don't worry, I always sprinkle fluff for balance.

Also I have plans for Alvida, but I will steal the idea of him meeting Mohji and Galdino through a party lol ':)

But ohhh goodness this is the cutest thing ever! I adore self-conscious Buggy and clingy Shanks :''D

Anyway have a little party-goer addition to this:

Buggy went to the party only because Shanks did. In fact it wasn't just because of him, he made sure at least Alvida came as well but she canceled last minute. So now the only person he knew was his social-butterfly boyfriend.

Something odd kept on happening though. People kept on recognizing him. The first time it happened Buggy thought they would giggle behind his back or insult him, but they recognized him as "Shanks's boyfriend" and started talking about how he'd talk about him all the time.

Buggy then thought that they were saying that out of politeness, but they kept bringing up things Shanks had said and the way it sounded was almost as if Shanks was praising him. No... showing off maybe? Which was confusing for him because what was there to be proud of anyway?? Regardless, anyone who recognized him from Shanks's stories or because of how much he mentioned him, seemed to have a good opinion of Buggy. Which was enough for now.

At some point Buggy has had enough being around people and decides he needs a break. Preferably a snack break. He found the way to the kitchen and rummaging through it he finds a half eaten box of ice cream. Only problem is he needs to sneak out back to eat it or else someone might want some and he can't be giving ot charity! That's the ice cream he rightfully stole, bo one could take it from him!

So he sneaks out and Shanks somehow finds him. Shanks is a bit worried Buggy isn't having fun but Buggy is worried Shanks will eat his dessert.

They sit next to each other, staring at the moon with half a box of ice cream. After two spoons of silence Buggy finally gives in.

Buggy: fiiiiiine, I give up

Shanks, panicking that something happened and he missed it and he's too tipsy to be adequate: wh- huh?

Buggy tilting the box to his boyfriend: You can have some. You were looking for a good time to ask right?

Shanks: Well no... *takes it anyway*

Shanks: I thought you were running away to be honest... hiding...

Buggy: Running - no. Hiding - yes, this ice cream is way too good to be shared. I'm taking an ice cream break, like a snack break but better because I found this treasure *gestures to the box as if he's in a commercial*

Shanks giggles a bit. He can see the moon's radiance off his boyfriend and he feels so lucky at that moment.

Shanks: You're sharing it with me though

Buggy: You don't count, at this point you're like an extension of my own body. You're inevitable... I bet that makes you happy, huh

Shanks absolutely smittened taking about spoon: Yeah, it does.

Shanks, jokingly: I hope you never get rid of me

Buggy: Well now you sound like a curse- hey, hey, hey, stop eating my ice cream

They finish the ice cream and dump it in a random garbage can hoping no one saw them. They also google it finding it was extremely expensive and pray to whoever's listening no one noticed them sneaking out and back in with a spoon gull of evidence.

this makes me wonder if i should leave a couple of chapters as epilogue just for fluff... I'll think about it...

#shuggy #college au #one piece shuggy #shuggy au #shanks x buggy #buggy x shanks #answers #op #shuggy fluff #as surprising as it sounds lol

[stickstone]

ok so! my predictions for thunder based on the preview (spoilers under cut of course)

starting off with the prologue. my first thought reading it was that it might be hinting at her being eventually being the leader of riverclan, heavily emphasizing this idea of destiny. i also feel like it’s pretty much confirmed at this point that frostpaw really doesn’t have the special starclan connection, which is honestly a really fun little twist on the usual warrior cats formula and ALSO further makes me wonder about curlfeather and what she was up to

that brings me to the frostpaw chapter, obviously. i love how urgent everything feels here. you can really feel frostpaw’s panic and distrust in this chapter, it’s great. also her decision to make sure only whistlepaw knows she’s still alive is actually very smart. if her attacker thinks she’s dead that means she’ll be able to figure things out and come up with a plan without worrying about being attacked again. i can already foresee some problems it will cause though and i’m Very excited for that

next up nightheart chapter. no secret that he’s my least favorite of the protagonists this arc lol, but this chapter was pretty good. or maybe i was just giddy about squirrelstar (yes i know it’s still up in the air. but look. i really really want it to be real. ok.) im not really sure why squirrelflight decided she wanted nightheart specifically there but i understand that he kinda has to be there for the plot to progress, cause obviously he’s going to end up running into frostpaw. he seems like he might be more tolerable this book, mostly because all of the female characters around him aren’t being portrayed as evil harpies sent to kill him

and finally! sunbeam. i’ll be honest i think she’s my favorite this arc. i love her interactions with some of the thunderclan cats, and am VERY glad that the erins didn’t make sparkpelt and finchlight evil xenophobes who vehemently hate nightheart’s girlfriend. berryheart is such a fun antagonist and the way that she’s actually able to get sunbeam to doubt herself and her relationship with nightheart is so good. especially because she has a point! nightheart has continually put himself before sunbeam and placed her in bad positions, this is not at all a stable situation sunbeam’s in

based on these chapters, i can pretty easily guess where things are going. nightheart meets frostpaw and, for whatever reason, she needs him to help her on her quest (which makes sense considering she is severely injured). because nobody can know that frostpaw’s alive, nightheart either won’t be able to tell sunbeam that he’s leaving OR will be able to speak to her briefly. either way, he’s leaving her alone. again. which is pretty much a confirmation of sunbeam’s worst fears, and sort of proves berryheart right. because of this sunbeam is going to really struggle, not just with her trials, but with the fact that she’s made a massive life change for someone who might not even like her back. Looking Forward To This

last thing! i wasn’t really sold on ivypool as deputy initially but now that i think about it there’s a lot of potential. i really liked her in sunbeam’s chapter, and i’m honestly very eager to see how her opinions on cross clan relationships and clan switching have changed after bristlefrost’s death. there could be a lot of fun stuff to explore there, and also idk. maybe she’ll finally apologize to dovewing. that would be great.

but uh yeah. genuinely looking forward to this book, i’m very excited.

#warrior cats #wc #a starless clan #asc thunder #frostpaw #nightheart #wc sunbeam #berryheart