#idk i am down bad for fictional men today

[jackstheprinceofhearts]

i love to say "i'm in my simp era" but when was i not??? i have never left the simp era.

#like #idk i am down bad for fictional men today #it's been rough guys #immediately woke up thinking abt august flynn and jacks #ouabh #caraval #jacks prince of hearts #tbona #evajacks #evangeline fox #jacks x evangeline #the ballad of never after #books #acftl #a curse for true love #stephanie garber #v.e schwab #monsters of verity #august flynn #kate harker #this savage song #tss #our dark duet #odd #allegro the cat 😭😭

[francofolle]

so night of my birthday, monday night, after having dinner with my parents, i went to a wine bar to have a glass or two by myself. i ended up sitting at the bar rather than at a table bc it was unclear when or if i would be served if i just sat at a table. enter, of course, man asking if he could sit in empty seat next to me. we had good conversation about wine and soccer and he seemed nice enough. as i was getting ready to head out, he offered sharing a bottle of wine with me that he had back at his place. that makes me put my guards up, but when i turn it down, he backs off. we do swap numbers at the end bc why not, i enjoyed his company and would enjoy hanging out with him.

the next day he texts me about this tragic french film he watched over the bottle of wine he'd offered to share with me the night before (not that i was expecting him to save it for me, but in hindsight feels a little, hmm, like look what you missed out on? idk maybe im reading too much into this). he also invites me to a tasting and dinner thursday night. i see these messages while at a sports game with a friend. i get back home after midnight. i sleep in til noon the next day, i have an hour to eat and get ready for work, im at work til 10pm, and im knocked out again once im home. today i get my period and have terrible cramps all day and only manage working two hours before going home to collapse in bed. for the past two days i keep remembering at bad times that i need to respond to him to let him know its not gonna happen but thanks for the invite. ultimately i forget and it doesn't happen.

10pm thursday night he texts again saying "at least tell me to go fuck my self!" with three of the monkey hiding his face emojis. i responded apologizing for not replying, but also clarifying why i hadn't and explaining that i am notoriously bad at responding.

honestly, i know why i acted the way i did but i don't know if that makes me in the right. he did text me about specific time sensitive plans, that i read as 'hey join if you're free, if not its fine' but apparently that wasn't the vibe, and i try really hard when its time sensitive to respond. but to send such a harsh text after only having chatted one night at a wine bar (where honestly i'd have preferred to just have been alone) and texting me low key last minute plans after i know i told him i work retail nights...

idk im torn between feeling like my slow response rate will be keeping me single, and feeling like he's interested and im not so much and that's not a bad thing, and maybe if he hadn't responded so strongly (sorry the monkey emojis don't soften the message as much as you'd like) we could've gotten along more. but now im on edge and don't wanna talk to him anymore. i dont want to feel like there's expectations or pressure.

ugh there's many very good reasons the only men i like are fictional or completely unavailable

#madeleine parle #dating i guess?? #open to thoughts and opinions on whether im right to feel hesitant #or thoughts on text response expectations #would love other opinions #whatever the opinions are this whatever this was is definitely done now #hes clearly more interested than me and i dont want to play these games #i wonder if men know they are rivaling how much i revel in my alone time when they ask for my number

[multifandomlover01]

The Darts Game (George Luz x Female!Medic!Reader)

George x Female!Medic!Reader and a little bit of Buck x reader as well thrown in there for the heck of it

Disclaimer: I do not own Band of Brothers, any characters or scenes from the show. All credits go to the appropriate people (actors, writers, producers, directors, etc.)

Key: Y/N/N = Your nickname

Word count: ~1.3k

Warning: cringe (but it’s basically intentional, I know how bad it is, I think it’s funny)

Note: I am aware of how cringe this is, it’s all in good fun and I think it’s really funny. Also, enjoy my notes as I didn’t take them out and I think they add to the fun

You walked into the pub and went unnoticed at first (as it was busy, full of soldiers and activity). You made your way into it a bit further. Then you heard a wolf whistle (plausible for time period?). After surveying for a few seconds, you located the source: George Luz.

“Oh, stop,” you called out to him (said a specific way, but for the life of me I can’t describe it…sexy is all I come up with…but is that specific enough?).

He, and the group of men around him (Buck, Toye, Bull and Johnny?), laughed.

You made your way over to them.

George beamed at you.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“You look nice.”

“As do you. You all look very nice in your service uniforms.”

“Yeah, well, it’s really only the second (?) opportunity we’ve had to wear them, and the first after combat. But you, look extraordinary, especially your hair.”

He took some of it in his hand for a second before letting it fall out if it (would it be down; curled? Or up? It would look nice up, and time period wise it should be up; idk; this is fiction, who cares?). It was innocent enough, so you let him do it.

“Thank you. I’m just glad to have it out of that horrid bun Sobel makes me wear it in so it’s “regulation”. I considered having Liebgott cut it, but then I’m sure Sobel would still make a fuss about it, so I just kept it.” [sorry this is kinda thrown in here with no context, but I just had this idea that of a woman had longer hair, Sobel would either make her cut it (more plausible) or make her wear it in a bun that’s like a modern one that women in the military wear today…I think]

“Your hair looks great in the bun, too. But it does really look exceptional like this.”

“Hey, Y/N/N, what’re the odds of any of us getting lucky tonight?” Toye asked you.

“With me?”

He nodded.

You laughed, “yeah, that’s not happening.”

“Really? None of us has a chance with you?” Luz asked you. Was he sad?

“Really,” you confirmed, “what’re you fellas doing?”

“Just playing a friendly game of darts.”

“Friendly? You took my smokes!” A red headed private you didn’t immediately recognize exclaimed.

“You bet on ‘em,” Buck defended.

“You tricked me!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s this now?”

“We...may have...put on a little bit of a show,” Luz admitted shyly.

“What kind of show?”

“Buck pretended to be bad at darts by using his left hand. So the kid got cocky and thought he could beat him, so he agreed to bet his smokes when they played another game. Then Luz called Buck out on the hand and Buck beat him and got his smokes,” Toye explained.

“That’s not very nice.”

“Well, that’s just how it goes sometimes.”

“Mind if I play? I win, you give the kid his smokes back?”

“Sure, give it your best shot, sweetheart.”

“Buck, why don’t you go first?”

“No ladies first?”

“Throw, Buck,” you said putting his darts on his chest. He took them, your hands brushing against each other. Luz looked at Buck with jealousy. (god, I hate myself, why am I writing this?!)

“Yes, ma’am.”

He went and did pretty well. None hit the bullseye, but one got close.

Luz held your darts out for you.

“Thank you,” you said as you took them, your hands brushing against each other a bit (purposely). (Geez, really?!)

“You’re quite welcome,” that stupid grin adorning his face.

I went and all three hit the bullseye (pretend it’s possible if it’s not; idk, I don’t play darts).

“Whoa, where’d ya learn how to do that?”

“Well, when sticking morphine syrettes (or IVs) into people is part of your job, you kind of have to have good aim. And lucky for you boys, I do. Now, give the kid his smokes back.”

Buck did so.

“Now, what do you want?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You won. But you didn’t get anything.”

“How about a kiss on the cheek?”

“Excuse me?”

You patted your finger against your cheek.

“Pay up, Buck.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Buck pecked you quickly on the cheek. Luz looked at Buck with jealousy once again.

Toye and Buck drifted away.

“Hey, thank you for winning my smokes back for me. I’m not sure they would’ve let me try to win them back myself or if I even would’ve been able to.”

“You’re welcome, uh, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are.”

“Uh, Private Edward (would he tell me his first name?) Heffron, but you can call me Babe.”

“E-excuse me?”

“I-I meant, I, uh, everyone calls me Babe. It’s a nickname. I wasn’t implying that you alone could call me Babe.”

He was getting flustered. His face (don’t do it) was almost as red as (stop) his hair (oh my god).

You squeezed his arm.

“Hey, relax kid. Welcome to Easy Company, you’re new?”

“Yes, ma’am, just joined.”

“Good luck, then.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I’m sure I’m in good hands.”

He went to join what you assumed were more replacements that he’d gotten friendly with already.

You turned around to see that Luz was still there. He smiled at you. You smiled back. An idea came to you.

“Hey, George?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna play darts against me?”

“Sure? What’re the stakes?”

“I win, you kiss me.”

“I win, you have a drink with me.”

“Shouldn’t this be reversed?”

“Why don’t we just skip the darts game?”

“No. I wanna play.”

“Oh, alright,” he pouted.

You went first and all three darts hit the bullseye.

“You really are good at that,” he whispered in your ear. You could feel his breath on your neck. (Why? Really, why?)

George was right behind you, closer than he should be. You moved forward, away from him, to retrieve your darts, sauntering a little bit to tease him. His face when you turned around proved that it had worked. (God, why?!) You made your way back to him, with him watching you with every step.

He then went. One dart hit the bullseye and two got pretty close.

He went to kiss you even though you had won when you put your finger on his lips, which he kissed. You pulled it away.

“Best two out of three.”

“That’s not how that works?”

“It is now.”

“Do you not want to kiss me?”

You threw the darts again and got three close to the bullseye, but none hit it.

He threw them and one hit the bullseye again and two got close.

He went to leave, presumably to get the drinks, when you stopped him.

“Best two out of three,” you reminded him.

He huffed.

You went and none hit the bullseye again.

He went and none hit the bullseye either.

“Well, we both won once. Guess we kiss,” you pressed your lips to his briefly, “and we drink.”

“No tie breaker?”

“Nope.”

“That’s not how that works.”

“It is now.���

You led him to the counter.

“One bottle of wine and two glasses, obviously, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

George went to pay, but you stoped him.

“I am a gentleman, I’m not gonna let you pay.”

“But you won. This is your prize. I’m paying.”

You paid and the two of you settled into a secluded booth. You sat very close to each other.

“Don’t pretend both prizes weren’t beneficial to both of us. We both know we both wanted to kiss each other and we both know we both wanted to have a drink together.” (Geez did I really need to use the word both so much?)

“You may be right.”

“I am right.”

He opened the glass and poured you both drinks.

“Cheers,” George held up his glass.

“Cheers,” you clinked yours to his and you drank.

You drank a couple of glasses each. You both got quite tipsy. Maybe even a little too much.

[yo, what direction do you wanna go in? You already hate yourself for what you’ve written already here, so why not continue on with the cringe, eh?]

#george luz x reader #buck compton x reader #kinda #band of brothers x reader

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Fangirl, Interrupted - Becca’s Saturday

Summary: Have you ever felt like you’re too far up your fandoms that you’re not really living your real life? Well, that. But more.

Word Count: 1,817

Pairings: Dean x reader, Sherlock x reader

Warnings: You’re not gonna like it. Sudden fandom changes, bit of smut which is not really smutty, lazy writing, suicidal attempt, usage of drugs and alcohol, OOC scenes. 

Original A/N: Because of who I am, I like to exaggerate everything. With that being said, let me tell you that this is how I felt for many years, with multiple fandoms. I have lived a tortous life, therefore I was always seeking to live somewhere else. Almost all of my childhood and teenage years were an on-going loop between my fake life inside my fandoms and my real life. I barely remember anything now outside that make-pretend life I created for myself.  Now I am living my life, in a way that I can no longer hide inside that fake life. Call it what you want. Anxiety is coming back to me, fyi, and I tried to hide there but I just can’t. This is my way of expressing it. The Girl, Interrupted theme is because I watched it yesterday after performing Lisa’s monologue at my acting class - a way of giving therapy to myself through art. Anyway, I hope you don’t read this fic. I didn’t like it at all, but I feel the need, nonetheless, to share it somewhere. To have evidence that I went through that. Probably, someone out there has too. Idk.

New A/N: I wrote this MONTHS ago, long before I got diagnosed, and I got scared of posting it because it could be too depressing. But I hate leaving drafts all alone so here goes nothing.

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness…

“Put her in restraints!” A woman yelled. “Withdraw blood… Give her five milligrams of Valium, IV”

“Turn her head so she doesn’t aspirate,” another woman advised. I felt my head being turned by a pair of terribly warm hands.

I was attacked. I had been attacked.

“You should check my hand. There’s no bones in it anymore…”

“What were you thinking?” The first woman asked.

“I was trying to save the world…” I replied, “Don’t worry, you’ll thank me later.”

Sometimes it’s hard for me to stay in one place.

“Hey,” I opened my eyes at the familiar voice. The image at first was blurry, but I could recognize the colors of their flannel shirts. My back was killing me, and my arms felt numb. “(Y/N) are you okay?”

“Yo, sweetheart! Wake up!” A rough voice called out. I could see his red flannel.

Red flannel. Dean was wearing a red flannel, and Sam had the green one. That could only mean one thing…

I looked down at my own clothes, I was wearing a brown flannel.

I smiled childishly, and my vision finally cleared. Both men were staring at me, worried. “I’m home,” is all I could say.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes, Sam smiled back at me.

“Yes, you are,” he said, “you’re home with us. Where else would you be?”

“At a hospital or some shit,” I replied.

“We don’t do no hospitals, sweetheart,” Dean reminded me from afar.

“Did we get him? The djinn?” I inquired, with wide eyes.

“Yup,” Sam nodded.

Dean appeared back again, handing me a cold beer. It was closed. Sam took my hand and guided it to my forehead, so I could press the bottle to my forehead. I was probably wounded there too.

“We Jafar-ed the shit out of him,” Dean snorted. Sam inhaled profoundly, as an attempt to not slap his brother. “I Jas-min that we almost didn’t make it…” Dean continued, “but enough Abu me,” he giggled, “how was your daydream, sweetheart? Where’d Iago?”

“Please, stop,” Sam begged. Dean tried to argue but Sam was already looking back at me. “But do tell us where did you go?”

“I…”

“Where did you go?”

“(Y/N)” a strong light blinded me for a second. I suddenly felt something in my eyes, pulling them open. “(Y/N), we’re calling you!” The voice chanted. “Hello, Earth requires Ms (Y/N)...”

“Wha-what?” I stuttered, pulling away from the light.

The scenery had changed. I was no longer at a motel room with awful wallpaper, but instead at a very nice living room, though the wallpaper was still awful.

“Are you okay?” The man that had been calling my name asked. He kneeled in front of me.

“Are you real?” I tilted my head to the side, and he smiled tenderly.

“As real as your nose,” he said and booped my nose. His touch was soft and warm.

“What happened?”

“You fainted,” another voice answered. I looked back, only to see the familiar figure of Sherlock sitting on his desk, typing furiously on his computer. “I told you not to get too close to the evidence, but did you listen? No, why?” He gazed back, “Because ‘oh Sherlock, don’t be so stern, it’s just a flower bouquet!’ but I was right, as usual.”

“Let her breath,” Watson commanded. “We both smelled it too and nothing bad happened.”

“Yes, but so did the police officers… All male, I must remind you” Sherlock snapped. “The flowers were sent to a woman who, where is she now? Oh, yes, DEAD!”

“I don’t get it,” I interfered.

“I suspect the flowers are poisoned with some sort of chemical that only affects women, by reacting to their production of hormones.” Sherlock informed me.

“Right… And what does that have to do with your intoxication?” The female voice asked again.

I suddenly snapped back to the hospital. I was laying in a hospital bed, with lots of tubles connected to me. There was a woman in white, sitting by my side with a notepad on her lap.

“Well, obviously I’ve been affected… It’s the flowers, you see…” I spoke.

“Flowers? What flowers?” The nurse, she was a nurse, asked again.

“The poisoned flowers!”

“Do you see them now?” She inquired.

“Of course not!”

“No?”

The djinn stood behind her. “Say no,” he said with an ominous voice.

“No,” I obeyed.

The nurse looked behind her and the djinn disappeared instantly. “Are you seeing anything out of the ordinary at the moment?”

“No, why would I? I’m not crazy,”

“At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were…” Dean sighed. He was sitting by my side, in bed, and was connecting his phone to the charger. “I am a little crazy too, you know?”

“Oh, yeah?” I trembled.

“Yeah,” he muttered and finally let go off his phone. He turned to look at me for a second before cuddling me. I was the small spoon, he was shirtless. “I’m crazy about you.”

“Smooth,” I replied sheepishly. I could feel the ghost of his arms around me… Ghost, because I couldn’t really feel him. He was hot, yet cold as if air was blowing over my skin.

“Are you okay?” Dean asked.

“I am.”

I wasn’t. I’m not okay.

“Good night, sweetheart,” he whispered and pecked my shoulder. Again, I felt it but not quite.

“Dean?”

“Huh?” I closed my eyes, not wanting to see what would happen after I said what I wnated to say.

“I feel like I’m still inside the djinn’s daydream,” I confessed.

Dean sat up and fixed a lose strand of hair that was falling over my eyes.

“You’re not inside a djinn’s daydream…” He said, calmly.

“How can you tell?” I asked, still not opening my eyes.

“Because djinns don’t exist, that’s why,” he said.

I finally opened my eyes. Black locks and blue eyes were all I could see for a moment.

“Djinns are mythological, and that is all…” Sherlock continued. I could hear his voice turning from Dean’s to his own. “I understand that maybe the toxins from the flowers could affect your perception of life, but there is nothing to fear. The effects will pass and you’ll be good as new.”

“I don’t feel good as new.”

“Clearly,” he grunted.

Noticing my state, he decided to go a little further from his usual behaviour. He pressed his head to my arm… I was still laying on my side, as if I was still being the small spoon.

“I will be here, by your side, as long as you let me.”

My heart fluttered, but not in love but rather in pain.

“I can’t control that.”

“The pills are having a positive effect on her now, we can get her to be conscious for a bit longer than before…” I heard a voice coming from the hall.

“What is that?” I asked. Sherlock tilted his head.

“What?” He furrowed, “I don’t hear anything.”

“Well, I do.”

I got up from bed and opened the door. At the other side of it was a hospital hall rather than Sherlock’s. All white, with blinding white lights. The nurse was talking to what I assumed was a doctor.

I felt like I would faint again.

Sherlock got up as well and dragged me back to the bed, closing the door behind us.

“You know what could help?” He smirked. “I know… Because I know you.”

He got me back in bed, facing up to the ceiling. I was about to talk, when I felt him pulling down my pijama shorts. A sigh left my lips, as I felt his tongue rubbing my clit in circles. I closed my eyes, filled with pleasure, and tried to keep it quiet so neither Mrs Hudson nor Watson could hear us.

“Come here,” I begged after a while.

I opened my eyes and saw Dean crawling up to my face. His tattoo was covered in sweat and his hair was ruffled.

“You thought I would just leave it there, sweetheart?” He flirted and, without a warning, he thrust inside me. “You feel good today… Tight, and so wet for me…”

I moaned, getting lost in his green eyes. I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t.

I didn’t even feel his weight over me.

I blinked.

TARDIS.

I blinked again.

Dean was looking at me, dumbfounded as he made love to me.

I shook my head and closed my eyes again, letting my body fall back into the pillows as I succumbed to the pleasure he… they were giving me. I called both of their names in between whispers until I climaxed.

I sighed and opened my eyes.

I was in my room. Darkness surrounded me. I was alone, and my fingers were still between my legs.

I wiped them quickly with the bed sheets and took my phone to googled Dean Winchester’s name, only to find out that he was not being looked at by the US government, but rather a fictional character. Not only that, but I saw pictures of him in the most intimate moments… Moments I could recall from living them with him.

I clicked on one of his pictures.

Jensen Ackles… Married.

I clicked on Sam’s.

Married.

I clicked on Castiel’s.

Married.

They were all married. Click by click I undercovered the lie I was living in.

“But what about Sher?” I thought to myself.

I googled him. Fictional character, based on the books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

There he was, my Sherlock, next to others who had also played him.

“I thought I was in a hospital,” I whispered.

“Maybe it’s just your unconscious mind asking to be treated by a professional.” Castiel’s voice spoke.

“Maybe it’s because that is where you’re going,” Sam gestured to the side of my bed. A bottle of vodka laid there empty, next to empty sets of aspirins.

“Is there an end to this?” I asked.

“I’m afraid not,” Jim Moriarty spoke from the darkness. “But aren’t you having fun?”

“What if I die?” I insisted.

“You won’t,” Sherlock said, “you still got enough energy to call an ambulance for yourself.”

“Please do,” Watson begged softly.

I grabbed my phone and dialed the number.

“I need an ambulance…”

“We’ll see you on the other side, sweetheart.” Dean smiled with a glimpse of sadness.

“I love you, guys.”

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought you were moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy… Maybe it was loneliness… Or maybe I was just a fangirl… Interrupted.

No tags for this one.

#sherlock #supernatural #dean winchester #dean x reader #sherlock holmes #sherlock x reader #sherlock au #supernatural au #girl interrupted #depression #trigger warning #just a thought #angsst #angsty #angsty fanfic #dean angst #sherlock angst #dean fanfic #dean imagine #dean oneshot #sherlock fanfic #sherlock imagine #sherlock oneshot #supernatural fanfic #supernatural imagine #supernatural oneshot #mental illness #reader insert

[toomanyhobbiesandthisisoneofthem]

Captain Levi Packs a Punch

So, uh.. This is a fanfiction oneshot... It’s inspired by that moment during the celebration/feast episode, where Levi punches Eren and Jean when they get into a row. I’ve never written a fanfic before, ever, and idk if I’m gonna make this a thing or not... but I had a fic idea today, and while I’ve had fic ideas before, I never really wanted to write them badly enough to actually go for it. But for whatever reason, this one hit me out of nowhere and said, “Write me!!!!! Please, please, please, please, please!!!” So... here I am. :P

Although I’ve never actually written anything for it, I’ve had this particular fanfiction universe running through my head for YEARS, so I need (yes, need) to give a little bit of a backstory on my AU before I jump into writing the actual fic. There’s a bunch of stuff in my AU that leads up to the point I’m going to write about in this story, and some things will make more sense if you understand those things.

If you don’t care about the backstory part and you just want to get on with the fic, here’s a TL;DR: Self-insert OC is an X-men-style mutant who travels through various fictional universes. Her mutant abilities involve redirection/manipulation of energy, whether it’s kinetic forces, electrical charges, heat/combustion energy, etc. Feel free to go straight to the fic. Just scroll down until you reach the end of the italics and hit the disclaimer.

I might upload another post at some point detailing a more extensive version of this backstory summary, but for now I just want to give you the gist of it.

Backstory Bullet Points:

1. This is a self-insert OC, though I’ll probably rename the character herself. I know these tend to have a bad reputation, but I’ll do my level best to make it not-dumb. There are still some self-insert OC cliches and whatnot,(she’s definitely a bit OP; I’m attempting to counteract that) but I’m trying to make the story focus more on the characters and how they interact, rather than being like, “OMG DIS GURL HAS DA POWER AN’ SHE’S GONNA SAVE DA DAY AND GET DA MAIN CHARACTER FOR A BOYFRIEND TOO!” sorts of things.

2. When OC was 21 or so, she was ported from her own world into a universe in which the Marvel Avengers, the X-Men, and all the Rick Riordan Universe books happen to be all mixed together.      By the way, Percy Jackson is a mutant himself along with being a demigod, and he has a major AU backstory of his own, which will be explained if I ever write a full AU-background explanation. This is not relevant to the current story, but it is a part of this AU.

3.  OC discovers that one of her ancestors was a carrier of the X-gene who was ported to OC’s home universe like a hundred years ago or so, but because OC was born in a variation of Earth-1218, her powers didn’t activate until she switched universes      -(Earth-1218 is Marvel’s version of/explanation for the “normal/real world”-- OC’s home universe is similar to Earth-1218, but it’s not actually the same one, because inter-universe transportation is possible with this universe, and the genetics for superpowers are still transferred from parent to child.     -OC’s home universe dampens people’s superpowers while they’re in that universe, unless the person with powers happened to be born there, are transferred to a universe where their powers activate, and then switched back to their home universe.)

4. OC’s mutant powers include but are not quite limited to: --Absorbing and/or redirecting energy within and through herself. She can’t directly manipulate energy which has no direct contact with her, so for instance she can’t turn on a lightbulb from across the room, and she can’t use telekinesis or anything along those lines. --She is able to sense everything around her, and feels the energy within it. Because of this, she has pretty strong empathic abilities along with a sort of touch-telepathy as a side-effect. --She is able to release a kinetic/thermal “pulse” of sorts, and if any sort of energy is directed at her, she can:      a) absorb it and release it later (for instance, if she’s walking through a fire, she can absorb the heat energy and then later use the heat she stored in order to, say, melt snow),      b) allow it to pass directly through her and into whatever is behind her, (if someone tried to punch her and she happened to be standing against a wall, the force of the punch would pass through her and hit the wall)-- this aspect of her mutation also allows her to fly.      c) “catch” it and redirect it in a different direction (if Cyclops shoots her with his laser eyes, she could catch the laser and shoot it right back at him, or off the the side, or straight up, or whatever she happened to need to do at the time.)

There’s more to her mutation than this, but that’s the basic idea. For the sake of understanding this particular fic, keep in mind this would also apply to the force behind a Titan’s bite, meaning she’s practically invulnerable to most of the deadly AOT situations.

5. Due to Backstory Stuff, she ends up being practically forced by the Fates to travel to various fictional universes every few years. However, she is never able to go to the original version of that fictional universe-- there will always be at least one thing that’s different from what she knows as canon for that universe.    Sometimes the difference is simply a minor plot point, for instance when she goes to the FMA:B universe, it’s basically just an “Ed still has automail and alchemy, and he stays in the military!” AU-- which is kind of big as far as post-canon stuff goes, but it doesn’t really change any of the actual events of the majority of the anime itself.     Other universes will have, or eventually have, huuuuge differences. The first universe she travels to, the Mixed Marvel/Riordan universe, is just one example of this.   Sometimes these differences may incorporate things I’ve seen in other fanfics; I’ll try to source them when this is the case. It’s not my intention to steal from other people’s works, y’know?

6. Due to More Backstory Stuff, although OC is always placed into fictional universes which she is very familiar with, the Fates place a voice-block on her in regards to the events of those universes, in order to prevent her trying to explain future events to the characters if she happens to land into the middle of the story/plot. She may be able to give some information, and she may be able to hint at things, and if she really fights against the voice-block-thing, she may be able to give them basic info on stuff that will happen soon, but she can’t, like, write out a timeline and have them follow events and try to prevent them, or anything like that.

There’s a lot more I could probably tell you about this, but I don’t think any of it is particularly relevant to this story, so I’m not gonna worry about it.

Disclaimer: I do not own, and have never owned, and do not ever intend to own Attack on Titan or the X-men/Marvel Cinematic Universe. The only character, scenario, universe, etc. in this work of fiction that belongs to me is my own OC, Allise Hart.

TW: There is punching in this fic. If the title didn’t give that away, lol! It is not meant as a hostile violent interaction, but it is still a punch. So I guess... minor violence warning?

Sorry if anyone’s OOC... Again, I’ve never written a fic before, so...

Okay, last explanation thing, I promise.... :P This fic takes place a couple weeks into the two-month break period between the first and second arcs of season three. It seemed to be the most reasonable point in which Allise could arrive, have time to explain who she was and how she got there, gain at least some semblance of the characters’ trust, and make bonds of burgeoning potential friendship with some of the characters. Plus, the second arc of season three is probably where she could help the most, if she were to help prevent any deaths in canon at all. Everywhere else is either too busy, or the deaths that happen in those arcs are too important in character/plot development for me to be comfortable preventing them while still remaining consistent with the main plot. Also, for ease of communication purposes, the characters of AOT speak English in this story.

I hope you enjoy. :)

Levi Packs A Punch

     The Survey Corps initial strategy meeting for the retaking of Wall Maria was to be held in fifteen minutes. Hange and Erwin stood in the center of the room, speaking in hushed tones, and several members of Levi’s team hung around off to the side. A current of nervous anticipation ran through the recruits. So much had happened these last few months-- so many victories, hard-won though they were. 

     What would come of this daring venture? Would their winning streak hold out? Was it possible they could actually be... gaining ground against the Titans? For the first time in a long time, it seemed there could be hope in this endless struggle for humanity’s survival. 

     Even their leaders were not unaffected. There was an extra spring in Hange’s step as they worked on their experiments. There was a strange fire burning in Erwin’s eyes. There was a steadiness to Levi that wasn’t there before, a sense of gentle calm taking the place of repressed chaos, and he seems less apt to speak out against the optimism present in the recruits.

     It was this atmosphere into which Allise entered as she opened the door and made her way to Commander Erwin. Hange was animatedly describing a new weapon they were designing with Eren, and as she drew closer, Allise was nearly hit on the nose by a flailing hand. Hange startled, and both commanders turned to face her.

     She technically wasn’t supposed to be here. Not that she cared.

     The silence continued for a moment before Commander Erwin cleared his throat and asked, “Can we help you with something, Miss Hart?”

     Allise shifted back and pressed her lips together. She glanced from the commander, to the wall, to the floor, and back again. Her face went through several different expressions, moving from pensive to fearful to determined. Finally, she took a deep breath opened her mouth.

     “Commander Erwin, sir. I... have a request. I want you to let me help you fight the Titans and retake Wall Maria.”

     Hange raised an eyebrow. Erwin blinked. “You what?”

     “I want to help you with this mission.”

     Erwin frowned. “Absolutely not.”

      Allise lifted her chin in a challenge. “Why not? You need all the people you can get. I’m sure I can help you. You-- I-- if I help, maybe I can... prevent--” her voice cut off. She coughed harshly, grimacing at the sudden burn in her throat.

     Hange studied her for a moment. “You know something.”

     Allise nodded, coughing again.

     Erwin cocked his head. “You know something important about this assignment in particular.”

     “Yes.”

     He nodded slowly, looking thoughtful, then he straightened. “I still can’t let you go. You have no experience. You have no training. You wouldn’t last two seconds against a 5-meter, let alone a fifteen or twenty. I cannot in good conscience allow an untrained civilian to fight Titans. It would be futile, and a waste of a good life.”

     Allise swallowed. “It’s true that I have no experience. I don’t know what I’d be walking into-- not really. All I know of Titans is what I saw on the show. However... You recall when I first arrived, I explained why my ears are pointed? As you know, I am not entirely human. I have special abilities. I believe that these abilities will protect me from the Titans.”

     Hange perked up. “What sort of special abilities? Can you run at superhuman speeds? Are you a shapeshifter? Are you able to fly? Do you have to--mmph!”

     Erwin placed a hand over Hange’s mouth. “What makes you believe your ability will prevent you from getting eaten? Prove that you truly have such an ability, and I will reconsider your request.”

     Allise grinned. “Thank you, sir. That’s all I ask.” She turned to Hange. 

     “To answer your questions, since you asked first... My abilities are energy-related. I can occasionally run at superhuman speeds, though the factors are extremely circumstantial. I suppose you could call me a shapeshifter, since I have two different forms; however, my base abilities remain the same in each form, so it mainly just affects my appearance. And yes, I am actually able to fly.”      “As for proving that I can effectively protect myself against a Titan...”

     Allise closed her eyes and pressed her hands together. She considered what, exactly, she needed to show them. How could she explain this in a way that made sense, without going to the trouble of finding a Titan to demonstrate with? She pondered her options for a while, nothing definitive coming to mind, until suddenly... Her eyes snapped open, and she fixed her gaze on Levi. Of course! A grin spread over her face. This. This was perfect.

     She straightened, then cleared her throat and asked, “Is there anyone here who’d be willing to get punched for the sake of a scientific demonstration?”

     Her sudden question was met with startled stares. Several of the recruits backed away from her warily. Then Eren and Jean started nudging back and forth, trying to push each other into volunteering; this eventually devolved into a shoving match, with Mikasa and Armin trying to pull them apart. 

     The situation had grown to the point where it seemed the boys might start actually fighting, when all of a sudden both of them were shoved aside, as Captain Levi stepped forward.

     “I’ll do it.”

     Allise blinked. “You’ll do it?”

     “Yes.”

     “You sure?”

     “Yes.”

     “I... well... alright, then. Uh. Don’t... don’t get mad at me if this hurts more than you’re expecting, though.”

     Levi gave her a level look. “It’s fine. I can take a punch.”

     Allise gulped. “Right. So... Come stand over here, in front of me.”

     Levi moved into the center of the room and faced her.

     Allise smiled slightly. “Good. Now, ah... where would you prefer to be punched? I’d rather not the face, if you don’t mind.”

     “The stomach is fine.”

     Allise nodded. She stepped forward, close enough to reach out, curl her fingers into a fist, and rest it against his stomach. Levi gave her a confused look. “Was that supposed to do something?”

     She glanced up at him, then, and smirked. “Not yet. First, I want you to punch me.”

     “I thought I was the one getting punched?”

     “Oh you are, but I need you to punch me first. As hard as you can. Doesn’t matter where.”

     Levi was thoroughly baffled now-- Allise could feel the confusion radiating off of him-- but he shrugged it off, lifted a fist, drove it into her side... and stumbled backward barely half a second later, falling to the floor, as she allowed the force of his blow to flow through her body and out through the fist she had placed against his stomach.

     Everyone stared. None of them had ever seen Levi laid out like that-- not even Erwin or Hange. He was legendary among the soldiers of the Survey Corps for his ability to take a punch-- and throw one. And now there he was, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling in stunned surprise with the wind knocked out of him.

     Levi coughed and gasped, catching his breath, then sat up and looked back at Allise. “What was that? You didn’t even move. How did you do that?”

     “I redirected your punch,” Allise explained. “That’s my ability-- any force that someone uses against me, I can just let it go straight through me, or I can throw it right back at them.”

     Levi blinked. Blinked again. Tilted his head as he parsed through what that meant. “...So. What you’re saying is...”

     “...I punched myself?”

     She smirked at him. “Yep.”

     A strange expression crossed his face. He glanced at Allise, then at his hand, and back to Allise. His lips twitched. He turned back to his hand, and then...

     His shoulders started shaking. His hand trembled a bit, and he pressed it to his mouth. Erwin grew concerned. This was not normal. “Levi..?”

     A sound escaped Levi’s lips, a sort of soft wheezing. Everyone was worried. What was going on? Was something wrong with him? Had he injured himself with that punch?

     Then, the sound began to register properly. It grew in volume, as if Levi could keep it contained no longer, and suddenly burst out of him resolving itself as deep, throaty chuckles, which in turn shifted fully into...

     Laughter. He was laughing. Captain Levi was laughing.

     Erwin stared. “Is... Is he alright?” Hange was just as baffled. “I... believe so? Unless he hurt his head, but... he was hit in the stomach, so it shouldn’t have affected his brain.”

     Levi’s team was similarly shocked. They had never seen him laugh... ever. They weren’t even sure he could laugh-- Historia had been lucky to get even a small huff of a laugh, after her coronation. To see him like this, it was...

     Exhilarating. Relieving even, to see that he, too, could be affected like this.

     It was contagious. Conny snickered. Armin started giggling too. Mikasa’s expression softened, and even Eren let a smile grow on his face.

     After a minute or two, Levi managed to calm himself and pick himself up off the floor. His face smoothed back to its usual expression, though his cheeks were a bit pink as he turned to Erwin. “I--” he cleared his throat. “I believe Allise has made her point. Her ability to--” his lips twitched, and he cleared his throat again. “Her ability to manipulate forces should allow her to safely escape any Titan that crosses her path. If she really wants to go, I think she’ll be all right.”

     Erwin shook himself out of his stunned stupor and turned to Allise. “I agree. You’ve clearly demonstrated that you are capable of... impossible things. I hereby grant you official permission to attend this meeting, and accept your offer of assistance in retaking Wall Maria.--       “--don’t make me regret this permission.”

     Allise stood to attention, placing her fists fore and aft in the official military salute. “Sir!”

     Later, when the meeting was adjourned and everyone was heading out the door, Hange turned to Levi, and said, “I look forward to seeing what exactly Allise is capable of against Titans. If she can do to them what she did to you...” Hange smirked. “They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

     The last thing Erwin heard as he made his way to his desk, was a fresh burst of laughter from Levi echoing down the hall.

#aot #attack on titan #fanfiction #first fanfic #first fanfiction #self insert #levi ackerman #humor

[ixnova]

Okay so IDK if I will continue this as an actual fiction exploring this, maybe but I just wanted to get one specific scene  out so I wrote some context for the scene so uh YEAH enjoy this concept. new to writing for this fandom sorry in advance.

It was a Sunday. Don't let the name fool you, in fact today wasn't a particularly nice day. The sky was cloudy and it was cold enough to need a proper jacket. London had seen better days, but of course, this kind of weather wasn't unusual either. It just wasn't anything to celebrate. No plans to be made to spend the day with the family at the park. Perhaps it was even threatening to rain later on in the day, or maybe the wind could shift just enough, that the tiniest glimpse of the sun would peak out at the times when people wouldn't even be looking to notice it. Other than that one could say that today, was just as ordinary as any other day. Just as ordinary as any other day, only if you were mortal, that was. There were two men in London just finishing up with a late lunch who couldn't be more thankful for Sunday. Sunday was a wonderful day to each of them, there wasn't a better day to be had. The weather to them could be considered perfect. Sure, it could turn at a moments notice but what was a bit of rain water among good friends? It's not like they'd expect to end up completely soaked today, the probability of that happening was highly unlikely. Especially not on a Sunday, nothing bad could ever, possibly happen to them on a Sunday. Sunday was their favourite day, for it was the first day of which the rest of their lives began. And perhaps, sometime in the far future, Sunday would also be the last day, of which their rest of their lives would end. “That was perhaps one of the better lunches I've ever had.” “Yeah well, they burnt your starter course, but given the circumstances I'd say the rest of it turned out well.” “...If you've done what I am assuming you've done, I do hope you've remembered to return them to normal and leave a hefty tip.” “Yea- Right. About that, uh. Lovely weather, huh?” A Demon and an Angel, a most unlikely duo are found leaving a quaint restaurant off the far corner of main street. The tall and brooding one who held the door open upon exit was known as Crowley. The slightly shorter, polite gentleman that thanked him before stepping ahead of him to leave was known as Aziraphale. Crowley snapped his fingers while Aziraphale glanced upwards to question the overcast sky, and suddenly the waiters and staff at the restaurant they just left had worked the best shift of their lives and found themselves with a worthy tip. “Right. So, you enjoyed lunch?” Aziraphale glanced over his shoulder back at the restaurant before he smirked, turning back to Crowley. “Yes, thank you.” “'Course.” Crowley nodded and extended his hand forward to gesture in a direction down the street for which they could start walking. “Also, weather's a tad off, don't you think? Could be better.” “What? No, the weathers lovely.” “For you maybe.” “Oh please, it's just a bit grey. But it's not too warm! Or too cold, just  right if you're dressed properly.” “Yes, but what about the rain?” “It's not going to rain.” “But-” “It's not going to rain.” Crowley stopped for a moment, standing in front of Aziraphale, making sure he heard what he had said, or would he have to repeat himself for a third time. “Fancy a bit of dessert?” Aziraphale raised a  brow at Crowley, almost knowingly, before smiling and walking past him again. “Oh, how you tempt me, Crowley.” “It's what I do.” Crowley chuckled. “Is the parlour open on Sundays?” “It can be.” Crowley suggested. “Oh, but I feel terrible having them work on their day off.” Aziraphale replied, frowning slightly at the thought. “It's just not right to force them to do that because I'm craving some vanilla whip.” “You have any better suggestions?” Crowley questioned. “Actually yes- I tried a new recipe from the many cookbooks I own, and I've discovered quite the fitting recipe-” “Do I dare inquire what it is?” Aziraphale chuckled to himself before speaking. “Angle cakes.” “Oh dear lo-” Crowley cut himself off, rolling his eyes. “Oh! And they have another delightful dish I'd love to try as well.” Aziraphale continued. “A chocolate cake called 'Devils Food' cake. Funny, isn't it?” Crowley inhaled sharply through his nose as he grinned, it wasn't exactly a laugh but he did find it amusing. “Wonder where the mortals come up with things like that?” “Beats me,” Aziraphale shrugged. “But I do find it ironically fitting in a way.” He clasped his hands together, picking up the pace and leading Crowley down a different street. “You have to try them! We are stopping by the shop right now, I'll whip some up for you.” “Sure, and then you can boil the kettle and we'd have a spot of tea and discuss the evening news.” Crowley replied, willingly following the aspiring baker. “When have we ever-” “It's a joke, Angel,” Crowley sighed, shaking his head as the reaction didn't surprise him. “I'd love to try some.” “Oh! Right, haha.” Remember when we talked about how sometimes the sun would show up today, at the most inopportune times when people couldn't truly appreciate it? Well, funny enough something that seemed exactly like this started to take place, except someone was witnessed to it. Two of them, in fact. As the pair walked a gap cleared in the sky above, allowing the slightest bit of sun to come through, shining down on to them. It almost seemed like the beams were following them as they walked. “Well that's rather strange.” Aziraphale stated, looking up at the clear sky. “You mean you're not doing that?” Crowley questioned, squinting as he gazed up in to the sky as well. “No, you said it wasn't going to rain, I saw no need for there to be sun.” Aziraphale “...That is rather strange.” Crowley agreed, and the pair stopped, taking a moment to look around. “Aziraphale!” “Oh good Heavens!” The Angel flinched as a familiar voice boomed from above. “Uh- Yes? Hello? It's been awhile hasn't it- uh, I trust you're doing well?” “Ah, that'd explain it.” Crowley mumbled, stepping back a little bit. “I'll just, I'll wait over there.” He motioned behind himself to the other side of the road, starting to slowly make his way there. “You too, Crowley.” Another voice boomed, this one the Demon knew all too well, as the gap in the sky widened to hover over him as well. “Ah, Shi- Yes, Hi.” Crowley turned around on his heel, looking up in to the nothingness of the sky. “Pardon me, but uh, didn't we have an agreement with you lot to leave us alone?” “Come.” The voices boomed together and suddenly the pair were swept up in a sudden flash of supernatural powers. What was only mere seconds could easily have been eternity as the duo landed on the strange ground. The sky was always clear in this location, and the ground felt familiar, grey, and fluffy. “Oh. Uhm.” Crowley was the first to speak, looking around and realizing where he was, a natural flap of his wings as he saw the figures in the distance approach them. “S-Should I be-” He gestured to himself, then looked at Aziraphale to his side, questionably. “Relax, it's just a cloud top.” Aziraphale confirmed, being more familiar with the landscape than his demonic companion. “It'd have to be something really important, or bad, to actually bring you all the way up there.” He chuckled slightly. “Ah, good, right then.” Crowley mumbled, shifting in place, glancing over Aziraphale and his wings quickly before looking back at the ones who summoned them here. “Gabriel?” Aziraphale questioned the first figure whom stood across from himself. “Beelzebub!?” Crowley accused the second figure whom stand adjacent to the first. “Now, Just hold on a second, there best be a good reason you're interrupting our day like this.” “Mayhaps they are expecting another Armageddon and need the best men for the job?” Aziraphale suggested, grinning a bit when Crowley did in fact chuckle at this joke. “Oh haha, I'm sure you two would enjoy that, wouldn't you?” Gabriel questioned as he stood firmly, hands pitched against one another as he spoke. “We have been discussing many things since we last spoke.” Beelzebub picked up. “Thanks to the stunt you two pulled, there's been much communication between both sides as of late.” “I take it that means a peace treaty is in the works and you wanted witnesses?” Crowley suggested. “Aight well lets make it quick-” “No.” Beelzebub cut him off sternly, making sure to shove him back in place with a force when he tried to start walking past her. “Actually, the war between Heaven and Hell has become more than heated since you two ruined the Divine Plan.” Gabriel sneered, collapsing one hand as it caught his fist. “Oh, but what about the ineffable pla-” “Shut your face!” Gabriel cut off Aziraphale. “The Divine Plan has been... Reworked.” Beelzebub stated, glancing over the pair before continuing. “We are waiting for the big one, before we strike now, and as such work has resumed as normal for both parties, if not perhaps increased since you two got in put in to the mix.” “Right, so that's wonderful, I'm glad. Would be a shame to see 20 million supernatural beings out of a job, eh?” Crowley rolled his eyes as he took a look at his watch. “So what's that got to do with us?” “Oh well you see, we've been doing some talking with the... Higher, up.” Gabriel explained, taking a step closer as did Beelzebub. “We've been working closely to better understand the so called ineffable plan, that you two seem to regard so highly.” Beelzebub added, steeping now and having Gabriel follow. Crowley and Aziraphale wanted to back up, they very much disliked the thought of getting too close to those who ranked this high in their own respective divisions. The funny thing was though, that they couldn't. It was only as if they were frozen in place, by a force much stronger than that of their own. “Now, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation that you're going to expose to us any minute!” Aziraphale stated nervously as he glanced quickly over to Crowley. “Like, oh, I dunno, relinquishing your positions to ones better suited for the carrying out of the ineffable plan?” Crowley asked, trying to keep calm and play things off as he normally did. “I think I know of a few worthy candidates, like dear Aziraphale here, and perhaps, my self-” “Shut up.” This was said in unison as there was little to no personal space between both sets of Heaven and Hell now. The Angel and Demon did so, but not because they wanted to. “Did you really think we wouldn't of caught on to your little 'magic trick'?” Gabriel questioned them. “Clever, but unfortunately not clever enough.” Beelzebub commented. “The only way a Demon could survive Holy Water and an Angel to defy Hellfire, would be if they swapped places...” “Or, if they were- Well, why don't we let you figure this one out yourself?” Gabriel finished. Suddenly, at the same time, both higher beings gave a quick flick of their wrists. Gabriel's summoned a small whirlpool of liquid, twisting and turning in his grasp, and the same could be said for Beelzebub, though this was the hot searing of an open flame. “Holy Water?!” “Hellfire!?” Crowley and Aziraphale stammered out as they desperately tried to back away. “C-can we perhaps, talk about this?” Aziraphale asked, tilting his head slightly as he stared back at the Archangel. “Oh c'mon, you're not still mad about this, are you?” Crowley complained at the Prince. “Misbehaviour must be punished. Justice needs to be served.” Gabriel expressed as he stepped aside to swap placements with Beelzebub. “Don't act so surprised, this is all within the ineffable plan.” Beelzebub grinned wickedly, already reaching towards Aziraphale with the Hellfire. “Wait-” Crowley instantly reached to try and protect Aziraphale, only to be pushed back again by Gabriel's threats. “Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.” Gabriel laughed. What happened next, wasn't exactly what one would expect to be done. Simply put, they could have spilled the tiniest drop on any part of Aziraphale or Crowley's body and instantly the pair would have been wiped from existence. This would be the most quickest and effective way to dispose of the trouble makers, and would save a lot less paper work for both head offices in the long run. However, as the Archangel and Prince of Darkness mentioned,  this was not how the ineffable plan was supposed to go. Instead, something different took place that neither Demon nor Angel could have predicted.  Perhaps the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of a certain with could have prevented this from happening, but not even the future could change what is to be decidedly fate. The pair both braced themselves expecting the worse, and their minds it was. A searing pain, that burned them through to their core, feeling like they'd live with the scars it left forever, even though they wouldn't be alive at all. The higher beings reached a hand out each, and purposely avoided the bodies, instead reaching behind them. In a swift motion they attacked the duo's wings. In a flash they had gone up, as quickly as the pair were summoned, burning long and hard, causing the Angel and Demon to cripple over in pain. Screams so loud and desperate that they weren't ever sure if they'd even feel pain again after this moment. And then it happened. The ground from under them dissipated, exposing them back to the Earth below them. A split moment of time felt like it was frozen for eons as the pair processed what exactly was happening. Instead of pain, it was now quickly replaced with fear. The minute time resumed again was when they were already plummeting to their doom. Watching them from the clouds above, Gabriel and Beelzebub smirked proudly, before turning and taking their leave. The wind rushed past them feeling like knives cutting through their skin. Lord knows how high they were or how long it would be before they finally connected with the ground again. Would they even end up in London? Did they even have time to question things like this. They were falling, uncontrollably at that. Crowley reacted as he glanced at the ground approaching closer and closer, he'd figured they'd only have about fifteen seconds or so. Aziraphale was hoping they'd have much longer than that, or perhaps thinking if they could keep falling forever, surely it wouldn't be that bad? It would, in fact, be leagues better than finally contacting the ground. He'd already been discorporated once, he'd hate to have to go through all of that again. “Angel!” Crowley's voice was barely audible above his own screams and the passing wind, but it was enough to catch Aziraphale's attention. Crowley was scrambling in the air to re adjust himself, trying to close the gap between himself and Aziraphale. He was desperately reaching a hand out for him. It didn't take long for Aziraphale to catch on, returning the gesture, stretching as far as he could to just barely make contact with Crowley's hand. Now, anyone could tell you that normally anyone travelling towards to surface of the Earth at this speed would have a rough landing. Sure no one had conducted experiments on the exact height a Demon and Angel are dropped from a cloud, but there were enough failed sky-diving attempts to give a pretty accurate estimation. Directly below the pair is a large lake, the same lake they visited multiple times in central park to feed the ducks and discuss a matter of things throughout the years. Yet, throughout all those times, none of them knew how deep the lake really was. Not that it mattered, because any normal human hitting water as such a high velocity would surely expire upon impact. There's a little thing called surface tension that would lead to prove all of the Sunday morning cartoons false. However, it would simply take a miracle to survive the impact. The pair crashed down, scattering a large wave that upset quite a large amount of ducks nesting nearby, and perhaps drew the attention of a few onlookers who didn't exactly know what they saw, but knew the end result – Two men, splashing about in the local lake, something that very much was probably illegal, and would be attracting the local authorities soon enough. Crowley surfaced first, looking around as he struggled to stay afloat. His anxiety calmed a bit as Aziraphale breeches not too far from him. To be quite honest, he wasn't exactly sure if the Angel could swim, and right now was probably the worst way to have found out about it. “We're alive!?” Aziraphale exclaimed, splashing around frantically as he tried to get his bearings, glancing back over at Crowley. “Yeah, unfortunately.” Crowley huffed, starting already to make his way to the shore. “But, if we're not dead then-” Aziraphale followed suit behind Crowley, and shorty the pair were able to drag themselves out of the considerably cool waters, perching on walk path as they shook off the extra water. “What happened back there!? What was all of that about!?” Crowley questioned, cough a bit as he spat the fowl water from his mouth and nose, taking a moment to catch his breath. “Why didn't you teleport away?” “I couldn't!” Aziraphale responded, also winded and just as confused as the Demon. “I-Why didn't you just make us fly?” “I wasn't able!” Crowley hissed back, standing up straight now and wiping hands through his hair. “It's a wonder we survived that fall!” “Probably a joint effort.” Aziraphale noted, before he then froze up, realizing that he was able to just blink and remove the water from his clothing. “Oh good lord-” “What? What is it!?” Crowley questioned, stepping closer to the Angel as he noticed his body language change to one of fear and worry. “I-Oh my I've...” Aziraphale could barely get the words past his lips before he piratically broke out in a sob. “T-The fall! My Miracles, I can't... No they wouldn't... I... What have I done to deserve this? I've always done the greater good, even the- Oh my Heaven's divine! I've fallen! Crowley I've fallen!” Crowley instantly stepped back from Aziraphale, looking completely astonished, perhaps a bit disgusted. “Oh you haven't, trust me you haven't!” He then raised his voice a bit, pointing at himself as he addressed Aziraphale. “I should know if you've fallen, I've bloody well experienced it first hand! That was not, falling! Christ, I wish my fall was that fucking pleasant!” “W-well I just, you know I- Maybe they went easy on me?” Aziraphale stammered out. “Pah-” Crowley shoved off from Aziraphale, turning away as he took off his jacket, starting to manually strain it off the water. Aziraphale observed this for just a second before it clicked. “Wait, why can't you just-” He paused again. “You too? You can't do Miracles now either?” “O-oh no I can I just, prefer to do things the hard way, y'know? Keeps me grounded.” Crowley wasn't at all confident in his claims. “I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for all of this.” Aziraphale frowned as he gazed down at his hands, taking a moment, before looking up and examining demon closely. “Crowley.” All it took was his name addressed to get the Demon to look directly at the Angel, questionably. And one glance was all it took to make Aziraphale's heart nearly jump out of his chest. “My God-” Aziraphale gasped bringing a hand up to his mouth and staring back at Crowley in shock. “What now?” Crowley rolled his eyes as he groaned in annoyance, the surprised reactions really starting to irritate him. “Have I got something on my face? Bit of bloody lake grass?” “Your eyes.” “What about 'em?” “...They're...” Aziraphale took a good long moment, staring back as if he wasn't actually believing what he was seeing. He wasn't really, not fully anyway. There was no possible way this could be happening. “They're... Normal.” “Normal?” Crowley shook his head, not completely sure what the Angel meant by that. “What do you mean, normal? That's good isn't it?” Aziraphale just shook his head, scrambling to check his pockets, suddenly pulling out an old dated pocket watch, it was polished almost to perfection though, reflecting whatever came in to view. He handed to Crowley. Crowley snatched it instantly and quickly held it up to his face, staring back in to the little section of his own reflection, and then suddenly he saw, or rather it was what he didn't see. Looking back at him was normal, human eyes. They were coloured brown if he were to describe them in detail. It wasn't what he was expecting to see, that was for sure. A far cry from the serpent slit's he'd had his whole existance. “What does this mean?” Aziraphale asked, stepping closer to Crowley. “A-Are you...Human? Did they-?” “Worse.” Crowley acknowledged, tossing the watch back to Aziraphale, already starting on a game plan it seemed as he started to stroll out of the park, Aziraphale quickly following up behind him. “Worse? What do you mean worse?” Aziraphale continued to question him. “What could be worse than what's already happened? They've taken our magic, and changed your eyes. What could be worse than what's already going on?” Crowley suddenly stopped again, looking back over his shoulder at Aziraphale. “Do you want the short explanation or the long one?” Aziraphale went to speak his reply, before catching himself, pausing then changing his mind. “Short.” He stated. “Lay it on me, then.” Crowley sighed, shifting in his spot as he rubbed his tongue on the inside of his mouth before replying. “We're mortals.”

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens crowley #good omens aziraphale #good omens ineffable husbands #ineffable husbands

[songficsbyrissi]

imma just tell you to do 1 thru 80. yep the whole list lol

Damn anon 😭🥴 that’s a lot but fuck it

what’s your favourite memory?

Going to ATL and visiting the trap museum. Ended the night with some Krab Queenz! I wanna go back 🥺

what song(s) describe your mood right now?

Bored in the house and I’m in the house bored by some dude on TikTok (I don’t use TikTok but I know that’s from TikTok)

tea or coffee?

Tea! Green tea to be exact

sunsets or sunrises?

Both are pretty but imma go with sunrises

vanilla, chocolate or strawberry?

Are we talking ice cream or a man? Cuz I think it’s obvious I love chocolate men 😛😛😛

rain or sun?

🌞

is your first language english? if not, what is it?

Yes it is.

do you like your ice crushed or in big blocks?

Big blocks!

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My face. Lol I don’t like my face. I wish I was cuter and my skin wasn’t acne prone 😭

who are you closest to, your father or mother?

Im not really close to either tbh. We don’t have a bad relationship but I’m not close to either of them. I got the same bond with both of them

what time period would you like to live in other than your own?

The time period where I’m rich.

is it hot or cold right now?

Hot 🥵

what is your accent?

I don’t think I really have one lol. Then again no one thinks they have one. I would say Boston but I don’t have the stereotypical one y’all think about. White Bostonians have that and I’m full nigga.

has anyone ever saved you from a situation? if so, what happened?

I was on verge of dying when I was a infant and my grandma saved me. Gotta love those island remedies.

who did you last hug?

I have no clue because I am not really a hugger 😂

who are your top 5 fictional characters?

In no order whatsoever:

1. Any of the characters from Brooklyn Nine Nine. (I love that show and every character is hilarious

2. Sakura from the anime Naruto (shorty gets way too much hate for no reason and I hate it)

3. Izuku/Deku from My Hero Academia (he’s so adorable)

4. Todoroki from my hero academia

5. Jay from Big Mouth

how have you changed in the past year or two?

I’m more educated, more understanding, and acknowledging I’m not a bad person but I’m not a perfect person. I got flaws but I’m not toxic

biggest regret(s)?

I don’t like regret things cuz I’d like to believe everything happens for a reason but what I do regret is probably not going away for college. I mean on the bright side I saved a shit load of money but that freedom would’ve been amazing 😢

biggest fear(s)?

Snakes, Heights, Republicans holding a vast majority in Congress, and ending up unhappy in life.

is your room messy or clean?

Tbh it’s messy right now but it’s not my fault 😭 I share a room.

have you ever had a near death experience?

Besides what happened when I was an infant, nah.

favourite scent?

Vanilla Cake or Birthday cake. I love bakery scents to smell. As for the scents to wear, it can be anything but it gotta be sweet and pleasing to the nose.

would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Yep cuz imma stay my black ass home and board up the windows.

what lyric(s) do you love?

“If I fall, dust it off and regain my self

Fuck 'em all, they don't know all the pain I felt” - J.Cole

what do you like about yourself?

My humor.

what would you change about yourself?

A lot. I rather not go into detail 😭

do you like your handwriting?

Yeah I think it’s cute. Could be better.

how do you like to style your hair?

I switch up my hair so many times. I like it down with a side part.

what time is it?

At the time I’m at this question, it is 10:07 PM

what time did you wake up today?

12:30ish

what are your bad habits?

Not putting my clothes in a hanger after coming home 😭

what was your first fandom?

I’ve been in fandoms before I even knew what they were but my first tumblr was Chrae.

burger or pizza?

I love pizza but I be craving burgers more.

do you have any unusual talents?

I don’t think so. I mean I can roll my tongue in that clover shape but that’s it lol

when did you last feel infinite?

I’m not sure what this means 😂

when did you last cry?

A while back, by myself at 2 AM.

who was the latest person to see you cry?

No one. I don’t like crying in front of people.

best movie?

A Goofy Movie

best tv series?

Brooklyn Nine Nine.

have you ever wrote fanfiction?

Lol this is fanfiction so yeah

are you happy?

Nope

do you really relate to your zodiac?

Yeah. I’m an ♈️ and I match some of the traits

what year was you born in?

1998 🙈

do you often find yourself jealous?

Nope

are you a fan of 80′s music?

If it’s not MJ, then I ain’t listening to it.

what has been your most vivid nightmare?

One where my dad and brother died. It was after Kobe and Gigi’s death so it made sense, kinda.

what has been your most vivid dream?

Me getting rawed in my school library. Lowkey mad it wasn’t real.

have you ever had your first kiss?

No 😭 I’m pathetic, I know.

what has been your most intimate moment?

N/A

do you usually start conversations?

Only if I have to.

are you superstitious?

I don’t believe in superstitions but I don’t take chances with them either. It’s weird.

what do you believe in most, ghosts or aliens?

Ghosts.

what song(s) do you hate?

I fucking hate “I’m a gummy bear” song and that’s my brother’s fault

turn ons?

I have a lot. A nice smile, funny, caring, big dick, sweet, tall, smelling good, good hygiene etc.

turn offs?

The exact opposite of what I listed. To add onto that, is being mean/rude for no reason.

are you comfortable with talking about your flaws?

A little bit.

what are your otp’s?

Delena, Brucas, Sasusaku, Izuocha, etc.

do you have any bizarre experiences?

Not that I can think of.

do you have a night/morning routine?

Just a skin routine

do you have a bittersweet memory?

Any memories with people that are not in my life anymore. We had some good times but I don’t miss them. Bittersweet af.

are there any friends that you miss?

Nope. Stay gone, bitch.

do you have an enemy?

No.

are you a night owl or an early bird?

Night owl but I’m a early bird when I need to be.

what is your dream job?

Being my own boss.

if you had to pick a fictional universe to live in forever, which one would you pick and why?

My Hero Academia because chances are I’ll have a quirk which is dope.

do you know any form of self-defence?

Kinda

favourite planet?

Uranus because I’m childish af 😂😂😂

do you consider yourself to be more masculine, feminine or a mixture?

A mixture

do you rely on others or do others rely on you?

Rely on me. I hate relying on others.

what do you think happens once someone dies?

Heaven or Hell.

are you a leader?

Ehhh

what question do you hate answering?

“Is that your real hair?”

do you believe in guardian angels?

Ehhh maybe. Idk

can you rap?

Songs that were already made? Sure

how do you stay warm?

A blanket

do you want to be in a relationship?

Yes sir.

how was your day?

Aight.

are there any fictional universes you would not want to be in?

Family Guy.

what fictional character do you relate to the most?

Squidward

who hurt you last?

My bitchass cousin. Fuck that bitch and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Yay!!! I did it lol

[jcmorgenstern]

@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences,  then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

#wow this was a hot fucking mess #i tried to be organized but my thoughts weren't coming out super well #again anyone interested please feel free to jump in or correct me at any place you feel like #i die on the ''jason todd would be treated horribly by fandom if he were a character of color' hill tho #i could go on about 1x06 until im blue in the face but that's the uhh overview. the executive summary. #dc titans #i need meta tags and shit for this show #god help me in too deep #finding the meta side of fandom was a GIFT tho i love this shit #so excited

[waterlilyvioletfog]

Top 3 Supernatural Episodes Per Season

Warning: Spoilers below the cut. I am SUPER biased. Take everything I say with a HEALTHY grain of salt. 

Season 1: omg they look like INFANTS

1. “Home” 1x09. This episode is amaaaaaaaaaaaaazing AND it’s super important to the mytharch AND we get Winchester family drama. One of those early instances of “Wow we need to give Jensen Ackles an emmy like yesterday”. Mary turns up and foreshadows like??? so much??

2. “Scarecrow” 1x11. Super creepy, major “The Lottery” vibes, fuck I just. I love it. 

3. “Hell House” 1x17. Close call between this one and “Something Wicked” but in the end, Harry and Ed and all the hilarity that ensues just. *chef’s kiss* 

Honorable Mentions: “Something Wicked”

Season 2:  ugh so many good episodes season 2 is SO good

1. “The Usual Suspects” 2x07. SAM GETS TO BE SO SNARKY IN THIS EPISODE AND I LOOOOVE IT. Also Diana is a bamf. 

2. “Croatoan” 1x09. UGH YASSSSSSS. Close call between this and “In My Time Of Dying”, though

3. “What is And What Should Never Be” 2x20. Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m cheap as all get out. Dean angst? Gimme gimme. Also it has WYNONNA EARP IN IT.  

Honorable Mentions: “In My Time of Dying”, “Nightshifter” 

Season 3:  half of these episodes suck, the other half are perfect heeeelllppp

1. “Bad Day At Black Rock” 3x03. This episode it just hilarious from start to finish. Also, Bela vs. Dean. 

2. “Mystery Spot” 3x11. A double whammy of HILARIOUS and OH FUCK THIS IS DEPRESSING. 

3. “Jus In Bello” 3x12. It was real hard to decide between this and Ghostfacers but ultimately, Nancy Fitzgerald (aka Ella Lopez) and Victor Henrikson are the actual best and deserve all the love ever.  

Honorable Mentions: “Ghostfacers”, “The Kids Are Alright” 

Season 4: Somehow there is only one episode that is not stunningly amazing?? 

1: “On the Head of A Pin” 4x16. Cas becomes a main character and it is AMAZING and oh my god give Jensen ALL the emmys oh and ALSO we finally learn exactly what Sam and Ruby’s “extracurricular activities” entail. Feels like a movie. We get the reveal that the angels are working to break the seals. Anna is also amazing. Why is this episode so beautiful. I’m fucking crying and so is Dean. I could gush for hours. 

2. “It’s a Terrible Life” 4x17. This episode is just a fucking delight. (Am I giving it such a high score on the basis of The Kink’s “Well Respected Man” alone? Maybe. Honestly I SHOULD be putting Rapture here but oh well. I’m biased.) 

3. “Monster Movie” 4x05. It was hard to decide between this “In the Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “The Rapture” and “Lucifer Rising” (which all deserve all the praise ever) but ugh ugh ugh this episode is ALSO perfect AND I love it a bajillion. It’s in black and white and the guest actress is SO pretty and also I think I’ve already gone into detail about how the MoTW is a Lucifer Parallel. Also Dean says he’s been rehymenated so TRANS!DEAN RIGHTS! 

Honorable Mentions: “In The Beginning” “Lazarus Rising” “Lucifer Rising” “The Rapture” 

Season 5: You want to be sad? You also want to watch really good TV? SEASON FIVE IS WHERE IT’S AT! 

1. “Two Minutes To Midnight” 5x21. I know, I know. I should be putting “Swan Song” here but look,, I am easily bought with the promise of Julian Richings as Death. 

2. “Free To Be You And Me” 5x03. Funny Destiel buddy cop film, Sam gets to be filtered through the eyes of an audience-stand-in in universe, also contains Castiel’s ICONIC line “but today you’re MY little bitch”. 

3. “Dark Side of The Moon” 5x16. Narrowly beats out “My Bloody Valentine”, “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid”, and “The Song Remains The Same”. I am trash for any pieces of Sam and Dean’s childhoods and also this episode gives me SO MUCH material for beating up John with a baseball bat. 

Honorable Mentions: “Swan Song” “My Bloody Valentine” “Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid” “The Song Remains The Same” “The End” 

Season 6: We Don’t Talk About Season Six. 

1. “The Man Who Would Be King” 6x20. Cas. Destiel. Ow. 

2. “Mommy Dearest” 6x19. Eve! Sam Smith! idk, I just really like it.

3. “Appointment In Samarra” 6x11. As I said, I am easily bought with Julian Richings. Tessa the Reaper!!! Sam stop trying to murder your father. 

Honorable Mentions: “You Can’t Handle The Truth” “My Heart Will Go On” “Weekend At Bobby’s”

Season 7:  Terrible reputation given the fact that it has SO many great episodes. Sera Gamble? You’re mean. 

1. “Slash Fiction” 7x06. Why is this episode so hilarious???? Robbie Thompson starting out with a BANG!

2. “Plucky Pennywhistle’s Magical Menagerie” 7x14. In the total goop of “thick. black. ooze.” of this season, 7x14 is a light in the darkness. Every inkling of joy, of spark, of color, of childishness, all of it, poured out into this one episode, wherein Sam totally loses his cool and I love it. Sam looks so pretty at the end. Dean is simultaneously an actual child and an actual Dad and I love it. 

3. “Out With The Old” 7x16. I love me some levis, man, don’t know what to tell you. It’s just so fun!!

Honorable Mentions: All of Robbie’s episodes, “Hello, Cruel World” “Repo Man” “Reading Is Fundamental” “How To Win Friends And Influence Monsters” 

(The ONLY reason I’m not including TBAI is bc @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs is slowly converting me to hating Megstiel enough to not watch Destiel episodes) 

Season 8: That one season where we admitted that Crowley’s a DICK. 

1. “Hunteri Heroici” 8x08. CAAAAS!!! Also the only episode where anyone watching actually gives a shit about the Sam x Amelia flashbacks. 

2. “LARP And The Real Girl” 8x11. Super fun! CHARLIE RETURNS. Dean is a FUCKING NERD. Sam gets flirted with :) Real close tie between this one and Pac-Man Fever

3. “The Great Escapist” 8x20. Edlund really gave it his all for this last episode. Cas kicks SO much ass. Sam needs to be protected at ALL costs. Kevin ALSO kicks SO much ass. The actor who plays Sweet Pea on Riverdale is here??? Wow.  

Honorable Mentions: “Pac-Man Fever” “As Time Goes By” “Everyone Hates Hitler” “Trial And Error” 

(See note on The Born-Again Identity for why Goodbye Stranger is not on this list. Again, blame @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs )

Season 9: Sam is mad at Dean for not letting him go

1. “First Born” 9x11. No, I will not elaborate. Tim Omundson speaks for himself. There is nothing wrong with this entire episode and if you try to tell me there is I can and will gut you like a fish. 

2. “Heaven Can’t Wait” 9x06. DESTIELLLLLLLLLLLL. 

3. “Do You Believe In Miracles?” 9x23. Wow it’s the first Season Finale to make it to my top 3!! Metatron gets what’s coming, DEAN BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON. 

Honorable Mentions: “Bad Boys” “Mother’s Little Helper” “Alex Annie Alexis Ann” “Meta Fiction”

Season 10:  Dean is mad at Sam for not letting him go

1. “The Executioner’s Song” 10x14. See my comments on “First Born”. 

2. “Angel Heart” 10x20. BRING YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY. DESTIEL. JIMMY X AMELIA. COOL UNCLE SAMMY. DEAN IS A NERD. DEAN IS CLAIRE’S DAD NOW SORRY NO TAKE BACKS. (also, “blue eyes crying” is just ugh ugh ugh)

3. “The Werther Project” 10x18. SAMWITCH RISE!!!!!!!!!!! 

Honorable Mentions: “Hibbing 911″ “The Prisoner” “The Things We Left Behind” 

Season 11: Ahh, yes. You. Lucifer. Get fucked. 

1. “Don’t Call Me Shurley” 11x20. *slow clap* Robbie Thompson, you have served your country well. 

2. “Red Meat” 11x17. This is gonna sound strange, but this episode is sorta my comfort food?? I’ve watched it literally so many times. I love it. So much. 

3. “The Chitters” 11x19. Nancy Won wrote three episodes for SPN, all in season 11, they are all stellar. Chitters is GAY. She also wrote “Don’t You Forget About Me” and “Thin Lizzie” I’m putting them here so as not to crowd up the Honorable Mentions.

Honorable Mentions: “The Vessel” “Devil In the Details” “We Happy Few” “Baby” “Form And Void” “Into the Mystic” honestly just watch every non-bucklemming episode they are pretty much all amazing. 

Season 12: I WILL DEFEND MARY WITH MY LIFE DON’T @ ME 

1. “The Future” 12x19. DESTIEL. I would die for Kelly. Fetus!Jack. GOODBYE DAGON!! THE MIXTAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. “Who We Are” 12x22. JUST KILL ME WHY DON’T YOU, BOBO?! WE ALL KNOW YOU WANT TO. 

3. “Stuck In the Middle (With You)” 12x12. Destiel love confession!!!!!! Drowley!! Mary will fight everyone willingly!! SAM GETS THE ORANGE JACKET

Honorable Mentions: Every. Single. Non-BL. Episode. Watch. Them. Now. 

Season 13: JAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!! 

1. “Advanced Thanatology” 13x05. *inhales deeply* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Also, Steppenwolf. 

2. “Beat the Devil” 13x21. DICK JOKES GALORE. Also, we must protect Sam at all costs. Gabena is perfect. Samwitch is also perfect. Sabriel is also good. Lucifer can go fuck himself. 

3. “Breakdown” 13x11. It physically pains me not to put “Funeralia” here but alas, I must not show Steve Yockey too much favoritism. Anyways. DONNA!!! DOUG!! CREEPY!!! SAM’S HEART IS WORTH SO MUCH MONEY!! GIVE SAMMY A HUG!!

Honorable Mentions: “The Scorpion And The Frog” “Funeralia” “The Thing” “The Bad Place” “The Big Empty” “Lost And Found” 

Season 14: 

 1. “Moriah” 14x20. Proof that Supernatural will go down in history as ALMIGHTY. GOD IS THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN.

2. “Peace of Mind” 14x15. I still haven’t recovered. Jared must have had literally all the fun in the world. 

3. “Mint Condition” 14x04. Yay!! Very fun!!! (I wanted to put Optimism here, but again, I can’t show Yockey so much favoritism. It’s not my fault! he’s too good!!) 

Honorable Mentions: “Optimism” “Ouroboros” “Unhuman Nature” “Byzantium” “Damaged Goods”

#spn #too many episodes to tag #supernatural #rankings

[trashforcaptainlevi101]

Misogyny in the Anime Community

I can’t even really believe that I have to type this shit but I guess life is full of surprises. Follow my trip down a fucking gigantic shithole. 

THIS IS A LOT LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND IM SORRY. BUT PLEASE READ IT. IN MY OPINION IT IS AN IMPORTANT MATTER. DONT IGNORE DAILY HARASSMENT OF WOMEN ONLINE. 

Since I’m a very sociable girl and I love Anime and I love love love the Tumblr-Anime-Community (except for some minor things but nothing’s perfect y’know) and so I decided to join some local Facebook-Anime-Groups. 

I was happy to gain new information about Anime and I was willing to throw myself into heated discussions about my favorite characters and shows. What I got instead was a shitbunch of misogyny and hatred towards “realistic female characters” that didn’t act like the **waifuuu** these guys wanted so badly. 

From the start I haven’t been as active in this groups as I was here on Tumblr. I didn’t interact as much even though I really tried to get into it something just put me off. Firstly, this was a men dominated group - like 85% AT LEAST were guys in their late teens up to early twenties and they all loved some good smashes in Anime and some hot girls with super big tits (there were even polls about which Anime girls more dudes would like to fuck or something). That was something that I could tolerate - I mean who am I to judge right? I, myself love me some hot pics of my favorite Anime boys and girls so no problem right? 

Unfortunately not. Most of the comments in these section were about what this men would do to this girl if they could have their way with her and I tell you what: these men are fucking disgusting. Actually using the word “rape” and “Taking advantage of” etc. in this context is in my opinion not okay. Especially when there are minors in this group (their parents probably failed to keep them under check because this group is not for minors). 

I still don’t know why I didn’t immediately leave the group (probably because there were like 5 good posts per month or because I wanted a daily reminder of how shitty men can be - of course not all men and women too!) 

Today I was refreshing my facebook page when said group popped up with a picture of one of my favorite Anime - NANA by Ai Yazawa. If you’re not familiar with it and don’t want to be spoiled then skip the next paragraph (I’ll try to not really spoil the plot only the relevant things? idk). 

NANA is a slice-of-life Anime about two girls named Nana, but one of them is frequently called Hachi and I’ll refer to her as Hachi. It’s a very mature and in my opinion realistic Anime and Manga when it comes to the plot and the actions of the characters. And the two female main characters - god forbid - have sex. Nana - presumably - has Sex with only one guy. Hachi on the other hand has sexual intercourse with a few different men. Which is okay and normal - HA! That’d what actual intelligent people would say, but not the dudes from this group. 

This one guy decided to watch NANA and I still don’t know how he even thought it would be a good idea to watch it because it’s about female empowerment and about finding your own path in this world as a girl and about even more but it always comes down to: females. 

And what happened to be popping up on my facebook page was this (I added ugly translations but so all of you understand): 

At first I had to google what “Sharmuta” even means, but at first look I knew it wouldn’t be something like “brave young woman”. I looked it up and - surprise - it means slut, skank, hoe, hooker, whatever term you prefer. You get it. 

Not only is NANA my most treasured Anime/Manga, I’m also a girl who hates being told how to live my life. Especially when I’m told by men who 1. don’t know me 2. think women should hide in the kitchen learning recipes until their unknown husband picks them up to get them pregnant. Ok that was a little over the top but you know what I mean. 

Naturally I felt attacked. I felt attacked because this is one of the works I truly admire and because the reason I love it so much is because of the complex and realistic relationships. I love that it’s not this “ugh I’m a virgin waiting for my prince”-trope. I love that there are female characters who embrace their sexuality and needs because that’s what I struggled with for so long. It portrays strong women who make mistakes (like everyone does) but they stand up for themselves and they own their mistakes and learn to live with them in the best way possible. It helped me find peace with my body and mind and showed me that it’s okay to live as you please. You don’t need to be ashamed of anything and the last thing you should be ashamed of is who and how you love and that it’s not shameful to enjoy sex or anything involved with sex. It’s okay for women to still their sexual needs. 

So - of course I had to speak up. I think I knew from the beginning that this would be useless but I just felt so infuriated that a men can openly slutshame a character that stands for female empowerment (correct me if I’m wrong, but this was my feeling?). 

FROM HERE ON I’LL POST THE TRANSLATION UNDER THE PIC BC OF SIZE REASONS AND I DONT WANT ANYONE TO THINK I MANIPULATED WHAT I OR HE SAID so whatever

Cucumber Guy: ok ...

Star Girl (me): I had to look this word up on google and the definition I found (slut) is - in my opinion - 100% not fitting. I’m sorry, but to call a girl who enjoys her sexuality and tries different things a slut is just wrong imo. What makes NANA such a masterpiece are the realistic dynamics and constellations between the characters and the lack of perfection. Hachi is not a slut and to call her that just shows your strange view of women. Of course, everyone can do as they like - but in this time and age it is so important to support girls in their decisions and to not always degrade them and question their every move. Stop slutshaming (even if it’s only a fictional character) : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: This text only shows me that you can identify with her as a charcter ... maybe you even feel like I was talking to you but sorry - a person like this (with such a foul character) is nothing you can make appear good 

Mr-Know-It-All: Nothing but the truth. 

Star Girl (me): to be honest I expected something like this as an answer. I think it’s horrifying how much misogyny hides behind your words and is something that’s completely unnecessary in todays society. Reality will get to you soon enough and you’ll realize that women have needs and there is no reason for you to judge that. Because I know that I can’t convince you otherwise I’ll just save my energy for something else : - ) 

Mr-Know-It-All: I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. Don’t try so hard to defend yourself or that illusion you have. That you even said “how much misogyny hides behind your statement” is ridiculous. If someone has seen the Anime and then reads your comments about it he has to pity you no matter what. Our society is damaged and that you think behavior like this is normal shows truly what you are. 

Mr-Know-It-All: For people who read “this discussion” without knowing the Anime. Just watch it (it’s a good show). But just so you understand: SPOILER: This ******** has an affair with a married an (for a long time period) ... and that’s only the beginning XD XD it only gets better. 

SO, to break this down again: 

- at first he assumes I identify with this character and that would make me a slut too so .. my opinion is not really valid right? 

- I try to reason with him one more time even though I already saw him as a lost cause and he then proceeds to tell me (put bluntly) that my point of view is what’s wrong with society. 

- he then tries to justify his opinion by slutshaming the character even further 

Maybe you don’t see a problem with this. Maybe you think I overreacted, but to be honest: I’m fed up. I’m fed up about being told that I’m only worth something if I’m “pure and innocent” - whatever that means! I’m so fed up with men like him degrading women because of their decisions and actions. Why are men allowed to make mistakes, to learn from their mistakes and to move on - but women have to be haunted by theirs for the rest of their life and through all eternity? And maybe - just maybe - someone doesn’t even see having an affair with a married man as a mistake and if they don’t IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS TO COMPLAIN. Women’s lifes do not belong to men. We are not something you can dictate however you want. We live. We feel. Sometimes we need things even though we know they are bad for us. We do things that we know can get us in trouble. We are human and it’s heartbreaking to see how many men still don’t get the idea that women can live a life on their own. That they don’t need someone to overlook their every move. 

I want the Anime Community to be open-minded, to be inclusive to everyone. I want everyone to feel welcome and safe. And even though there are often discourses - let’s handle them the classy way. I want to feel welcomed no matter what my sexuality is or how often I have sex or how much I admire a sex positive character. Sex positivity is so important, especially for young women, so let’s work hard together to make it something that’s okay. Okay to be talked about. Okay to be admired. And also okay to not be practiced since it’s not for everyone but that is also okay.

#nana #nana anime #nana manga #nana komatsu #hachi komatsu #nana ozaki #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #tokyo ghoul #tokyo ghoul:re #Yuri on ice #Captive Prince #Fullmetal Alchemist #edward elric #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugou #Touka Kirishima #midoriya izuku #todoroki shouto #sailor moon #bunny tsukino #usagi tsukino #girl power #misogyny #online harassment #bullying #online bullying #detective conan #all might #kimi no na wa

[sparklingdust4612]

Reviewing Star wars New hope...

So I watched the movie and kept tweeting while I did because I wanted to commemorate it but i decided to share my asinine thoughts here too so...SPOILERS!

Warning: this post is a compilation of several tweets so it may not make complete sense all at one place especially if you haven't seen the movie in which case you may not know which part I am referring to...anyways...

I just saw the stormtroopers 'storming' (lol, bad pun!) in but they were being pretty considerate, not walking over the bodies of the men they took down like 'hey, we already won on this lets disrespect them no more by NOT trampling the bodies on our way in'

Cute-sy smol robot is R2-D2 woohoo, i finally know why people like this smol guy. Also, awkward breathing sounds break the music when the black cloaked dude (Palpatine?) enters...Hi Leia! you look niceee

oh, Its Darth Vader, not Palpatine...Gooo Leia, don't go down without a fight and since you cant use guns, use your diplomatic tongue and wage verbal war!!

Oh no! R2!! get back up! (and whats that golden robot dude called again?)

Nice to meet you C-3PO and Luke! he's kinda cute in his rebellious, pissy glory lol. (do i have another fictional crush? maybe...)

Poor Luke! ): + Luke: That little droid's going to get me in a lot of trouble

C-3PO: Oh he excels at that! 📷📷

Honest opinion (no offense to star wars lovers) but banthas and sandpeople sound like they all communicate via farts...it surely sounds that way... Oh they found Obi Wan and he looks less older than I expected!

Aw shucks! Even if I didnt like Owen I still hurt for poor Luke to find Owen and Beru's bodies literally fucking cooked! It must've been traumatizing seeing as that was the life he had always known...

No offense but all these creatures/aliens whatever those peeps that don't look like humans are so hideous I cant help snorting.

P.S. Han Solo looks sooooooooooo fuckin delectably hot that if i were an empress, i'd abdicate just to have his d**k in me everyday...📷📷

its hilarious how aliens are getting sliced through and fried or killed and whatever in the bar thing-y and the others just look back and go back to whatever they were doing XD

I love Leia, she's sassy till the end!!! I love the name Alderaan, it sounds so damn regal! Also, it looks like Earth...

Han Solo trying to distract magnificently and then blasting shit because "boring conversation anyway" 📷

Han: Wonderful girl, either i am gonna kill her or i am beginning to like her while Leia is all badass bitch calling him flyboy lol

Han Solo: The garbage chute was a wonderful idea...what an incredible smell you've discovered 📷📷I legit died laughing

C-3PO: Listen to them, R2, they're all dying in response to Luke's hysterical laughter was fuckin legendary!

Han Solo's 'I take orders from just one person -me!' Is so damn relatable!

I finished watching #StarWars #NewHope and as you guys must've noticed, as the suspense and action started increasing, my babbling started decreasing lol. I got so damn invested I couldnt pause it for one fuckin second!

I now see the appeal the series holds for y'all people, i should never have doubted the likes of the majority including my close friends and honorary mom. The action, the fighting, the suspense and the *swoons and drools and faints* Han Solo and Luke *dies*

Like damn, I'd donate all my organs if it meant making out with Han and I'd definitely like to be cooked like Owen and his wife for a chance to shag either Han or Luke! Fuuuck why?! Even the music and video quality got bearable over time as I got more and more invested!

IDK if I'll be able to watch more today but I'd love to watch the next movie today and if I do, I'll start a new thread for it📷📷 For my sake, I hope I can!! God I am in loooveeee. If Han and Luke did that, I wonder what will happen when Kylo appears and I'd love to find out...

I just realized that they ended the movie in a way that if they wouldnt have made any future movies, it wouldve been fine because they gave us a somewhat justifiable ending like 'they won, who cares if they never verified if Vader is alive' thingy.

P.S. Sorry, i totally forgot Ben Kenobi 'died', i am getting the feeling he actually didnt die idk why but, oh well, sad sad lets move on...

I loooveee Han Solo from the top of his head to his last toe and his humour had me in fuckin hysterics! That greedy, funny, hot, bad piece of ass! i'd loove to fuck!!

#Star wars #Star wars new hope #Stella watches #Sparkling reviews #I went ape-shit but there ya go

[davidjjohnston3]

Facebook Insomnia 7.25.2021 1. I am still sad to conceptualize life in terms of fiction and the condition of fiction rather than Christianity undivided.   Today I had a lot of images of Japan in my mind.  I heard the phrase 'Japanese Breakfast' which is the rock-star name of the author of 'Crying at H-Mart' a famous book. I remembered someone who once dated someone who became my enemy. This person I respected I now realize and I am happy that I didn't say anything excessively stupid that would have implied I look down on her, saw her as easy, saw her as 'material to work on,' someone to have a plan for etc.   I asked her once for help getting someone to interview at Deloitte for consulting only this person was in Accounting. I never really saw this person as in my league or anything to me except as a 'Curriculum Developer' I guess I outranked her and so wasn't shy of talking to / with her in official functions.   Later we drank together and I said a few random things like that I stress- / binge-eat apples, like 5 apples a night. My friend once did a funny imitation of her that in retrospect sounded a little like my Taiwanese ex-girlfriend's imitation of Kaori Mochida from Every Little Thing; the funny thing I now realize is that he too had lingering affection for her despite everything.  I feel he became anti-Korean racist and I don't know where he is now but in retrospect he definitely never crossed a line with her that I know of except for asking questions I would never ask.  He called her by her Asian name which was something I never did in those days feeling it pretentious.   'The mysterious maiden of the Moon...' - It's a line from Yi Kwangsu's 'The Soil' in which a married man is comparing his wife with someone else like his former student.  In good Korean custom since his former student once had a puppy-crush on him and gave him some corn, when her husband finds out, he kicks her to death in her pregnant stomach and this is why I oppose many things in principle such as tribalism, marriage, and for all intent and purposes the nuclear family. Yi Kwangsu is a problematic figure and as a Christian or aspiring Christian / 'Christianist' I don't recommend it.  It has incredibly exquisite descriptions of women that could make you brain-dead.  Yi Kwangsu also supposed Japan's occupation of Korea so that to this day talking about Yi Kwangsu can get you crucified.   I also seem to recall something like '_ _-ya, you got run over by a train you one-legged prostitute; now you have to love your husband even more.'  But I don't remember the context. Ironically or not 'The Soil' is the title of a Knut Hamsun novel the author of which supported Hitler; I do not.   I wonder where she is now. This person got shot at a lot and I regret adding to her burdens with my sin-eater-type confessions or just shooting my mouth off when stuff happened.  I had a crush on someone else and started saying I was sad I lost my virginity in college; IDK why I said anything. This person also had high alcohol-tolerance - extremely high for a female Asian - and although I could also drink a lot I always did bad self-destructive things. In the Middle Ages one form of 'trial by ordeal' was to reach your hand in to boiling water to pull out a pearl and if the boiled skin healed well you were exonerated or sth.   She must be 'somebody's everything; my impossible girl.'  IDK why she talked to me and I made fun of her and all my fictionalized versions of her and theories of her were derogations.   Like me she played the piano. She once said '_ _ is popular' which was a burn I appreciate since I'm anti-popularity and anti-personality-cults. She went to a school part of which is Victoria College where a literary critic I admire(d) taught for many years. I am stuck in America, hounded by Satan through the personages of my Maoist biological family and 'family tree' of America torn between past and future, un-death and life; due in large part to my excessive tendency to defend myself, to lash out, to wash my hands on the outside without cleaning my 'interior mentality' to paraphrase the 'Da Xue,' or to blaspheme the Spirit in some respects, I feel. I regret talking about her and at the same time why would I talk about lesser maidens? IDK what her favorite piano-piece was as I never endeavored to enage her in discourse about art or aesthetics given she is not a 'kisaeng' or 'geisha' and I am not a museum-curator or whatever.  Other people would be like 'Oh!  You lke the Grande Valse Brilliante; I know you spent the summer of 2003 teaching yourself repeat-notes.'   Everyone wants to drag everyone in to their mud or graves these days.  Am reminded of Endo Shusaku's 'Silence' about why Jesuits would apostasize in medieval Japan.  His conclusion was that the 'swamp of Japan' was too full of sensualism, the Portuguese Jesuit wanted a Japanese mistress or wife.  I once yelled 'swamp f-ggot' at someone due to their tendency to emotionalize and 'contextualize' everything which was an underhanded way of trying to make me change my sex as well.  In an effort to mitigate some of the tempting evil pornographic things I said about KR over the years I said a few more but this is a person, whose name means 'Pearl' as in 'the pearl of great price for which oe sold everything else.'  It is said that AAPI Twitter, America, house-slave Am-Kor own-goal Korean self-exploitation honor-killing squadsters, etc. want to these people in the trash. I found my Gideon Kor-Eng NT Psalms with the 'victory song' that sounds like Mandarin in its Revelation, that I had worried I'd lost.  That might be the 'most grateful' thing that 'happened.' I also remembered what my Mandarin name used to be though I had many in different classes I took. I was going to say many things, but in the end: the mystery of Charity.

*

I never considered the full implications of socialism or mental socialism till today.  I assumed that it was valid mitigation.  Some are born rich, some are born poor, it's wrong to let the latter starve on principle alone.   I don't even know how to say this.  I remember during the Iraq War being struck by how much the government - like my mom - was asking outsiders for advice about how to fight.  Dick Cheney got in trouble.  Years later I was skeptical of the F-35 because a lot of idiots with no skin in the game wanted to build it here or there. Wisconsin wanted to build the 'Littoral Combat Ship' which who cares. It made people worse and worse. The only thing is, the CCP - who ultimately serve I dare not even say whom, but clearly not the ghosts of Karl Marx or Vladimir Lenin or perhaps even Mao Zedong - figured out awesome killer ways to troll Republicans like Scott Walker w/ their 'FoxConn Fallujah hokey-pokey' whereby they got an avowed capitalist to promise socialists something that actually came from-post-hyper-anti-socialist hyper-capitalists with a plan to kill all white people or something. My father used to talk about the University of Chicago School of Economics all the time and it made me sulkily ask myself why 'Poor Dad' is talking so much about stuff that supposedly makes people billionaires while Jacob's English major dad is Bloomberg's 'chief of staff.'   I say again it's just like Biden saying all the right stuff, 'knee on the neck of the American soul, bone of our bone, winter of peril, hey dumbfuck, articulate, they're killing people.' Writing grant-proposals to the government to fund private research in to brain-injury that is itself applied by the government to veterans sent to get brain-damaged by a government that said good things and did retarded things based on their readings of the good things they said a bit like Karenin in 'Anna Karenina.'   I remember when George W. Bush said 'I'm the decider.'  I once told my dad to get out of my face so he got really sloshed up and vapored, 'I'm in your face!'  I'm not even saying that to defame someone but welcome to reality. Every so often every male seems to try to man up then they defend themselves like, 'No that is not the way in which I meant that I was manning up.'  You could call this 'self-draft-dodging.' It's ancient history but if I had been wiser I would have tried to predict the future for myself rather than visualize it as an abstract spectatorial notion.  At day's end mental socialists can literally not understand why it is wrong to steal.  Stealing is compulsory under socialism - I again come back to 'Pearl' since her ex-suitor and I used to reflect on how Korean collectivism drove people into themselves.  Similarly mental socialists cannot but hoard 'capabilities' so that in the end they'll falsify anything, steal anything; the only limit I guess is living with themselves.

I keep giving myself to fantasy and coping of all kinds like a 'mental Changrae Lee novel, mental David Guterson novel,' or ultimately Vergil (Virgil).  There has to be a new music, a new dream, something, a new city, though it is odd to think about pre-Christian times and a legend of what came before Rome in a Christian moment amid realignment in 'late Roman history.' My favorite YAL book still perhaps is 'The Giver' since it deals with the uses of history, with abortion, and with escape or exile.   I was going to say a while back something about 'Light in August' which relates to escape - as well to complacence - and to interracial relationships, pregnancy, the right to live.  I was in Minneapolis but mind was on Japan, on all these swords, not the Olympics but histories of swords and strange armor, halberds.  There was a huge sword called a 'field sword' in translation. I don't even want to see these people again; I sincerely pray the Japanese Prime Minister, the men and women of their armed forces, Tokyo's apparently amazing counter-terrorism and response capabilities for NBC / WMD / etc. attacks since the Aum Shinrikyo Sarin subway attacks and maybe their counter-nuclear or ability to respond after a nuclear blast will be enough.  People in America are trying to live by a little of the old, a little of the new, but it seems utterly impossible. When people abuse me I get really dreamy.  I read Virgil in high school; I was thinking of 'post-Covid YAL' or so in which people are just on the run, harrowing themselves, not even nostalgic for Babylon or anything in it.  It is almost like 'the meaning of the soul.'  I realized that in addition to new churches and new government laws Covid will engender new birth-defects and there will have to be new medicine.  Japan is a country that I said bad things about especially when in Korea but she never did anything bad to me - I remember playing 'Final Fantasy' and thinking someone out there loves me; they made an investment in children worldwide.  The only thing is I'm too old for such adventures and I fall apart quickly. All these birds in Japan, colors of red - people get obsessed with the Otherness of Japan and want to abnegate Belial-like (a demon or fallen angel of sensualism, to my understanding).  

I took so many notes and voice-notes yesterday that I devoutly hope my visions will pass to someone.  The future is going to be so beautiful for somebody but I have lost so much faith in my ability to mitigate or restrain evil.  Those who I had thought were simply stupid but were diabolically opposed to my existence - whom I did not wish to understand and whom I had 'fancied' I could placate or appease through offerings - turned out to be radically evil, unconditionally evil.  I feel that my father (biological) would steal my soul if he could; would eat it in a way.  My mom is always sitting on the porch and gives a look of hope like I could change her mind but it'll never happen.  I want to kill myself; I think things worldwide will get worse before they get better; I don't trust Biden or anyone who says the right things without showing exactly what they are doing.  Christians seem so petty sometimes like melanin, hairy legs, in Japan this therefore that, Native American Indian manhood rituals.   I just want to know which pastor has the 'batting average' I can believe in but it has to be John MacArthur doesn't it?  

[transmxnfenris]

EVERY BOTANICAL ASK

WHY DO YOU DO THIS Jasmine: what mythical creature do you wish existed? Ooooh, probs Selkies. They are so pure, good and lovely. I would strive to protect them all. Lavender: soundcloud or vinyls? Vinyl because I’m a True Hipster Primrose: what book does everyone need to read right now? The Book Thief because it changed my life. Lunar mist: do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jackets? You know the answer to this Richie, I am literally wearing your shirt right now you are right next to me you absolute dork Bird of Paradise: what was the best thing that happened to you this month? Moving to my new place 💖Gardenia: what’s a promise you’ve recently made to yourself? Um well it’s faith related and kinda secret and I can’t remember any others Lion’s fairytale: would you rather be the sky, the ocean, or the forests? The ocean for sure Whirling butterflies: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? A thousand times 💖Marmalade skies: do you plan your outits? Kinda, I wear the same three outfits all the time cause I am autistic Apricot drift: how do you feel right now? Pretty great. I’m happyEverlasting daisy: what’s the last dream you remember having? Oh you were there! I dreamed we went to Costco last night but it was closed down so you (Richie) cried Queen’s cup: what are you craving right now? McCoy’s Cheddar and Onion crisps like I always am Lavender dream: turn ons/turn offs? Turn ons: well created art Turn offs: unnecessary nastiness Water Lilly: when was the last time you cried? Why? I don’t know I cry all the time I cry because puppies are too cute sometimes Lily of the Valley: did the one person who hurt you most in your life apologise? No, and that’s okay because I don’t need him or his apology. I’m moving on now. Winterberry: do you bite or lick your ice cream? Bite Honey perfume: favourite movie ever? Mulan Snapdragon: have you ever met or seen in person a celebrity? My dads cousin is a quasi famous comedian but I can’t tell you who he is cos my and him have the same last name Night owl: how many countries have you visited?Nine? I think it’s nine Heliotrope: have you ever been in a castle? Yeah loads of times, last one was Hellsinger castle in Denmark where Hamlet’s set. It was awesome. Creams and sky: what’s the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done? Skydiving probs Lantana: what’s on your mind right now? Finishing all these god damn questions you’ve set me you dingbat Pumpkin patch: what’s your zodiac sign? Aries Tulip: name five facts about yourself. Amethyst is my favourite crystal but that may change soonSunflowers are my favourite flowers but I’m starting to prefer daffodils I want to go to Japan I want twelve cats seven dogs and five rabbits I think Icarus deserved better Daphne: do you believe in karma? Kind of Queen of the meadow: ever been in love? I’m in love with you you dingbat Wisteria: whom do you admire and why? Carrie Fisher because she beat addiction and let herself be crazy Angel’s face: what was your favourite bed time story as a child? The Jolly Christmas Postman Remember me: did you make someone laugh today? Yeah you a handful of minutes ago Iris: do you believe in ghosts? Kinda Lilac: If you could go back in time which time period would you visit? Ancient Egypt or Shakespearean times so I could be bffs with Shakespeare or Tutankhamen Caramel kisses: would you want to live forever? Why/why not? When you believe the universe is all connected this question feels hard to answer Primula: what makes you sad? Other people/animals being hurt Rain lily: was today tropical? Why/why not? Not really, cause I live in England. It’s sunny though? Queen Anne’s Lace: who do you trust the most? You ofc 💖Lady’s slipper: what did you have for breakfast today? I skipped breakfast but I had a Tesco’s meal deal for lunch Forget me not: do you have any regrets looking back on life? Yes but I try not to Lunaria: what’s your favourite fictional universe? Why don’t you just ask me to pick a favourite child while you’re at it... probs Persona? Or Star Wars. Or Harry Potter. Or Discworld. Idk this is too hard. Violet: favourite tv show? Hmm ... For quality Mr Robot for rewatchability and comfort Friends Sunflower: share a quote. “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.” - Frida KahloSnowdrop: what does your ideal day look like? A picnic with my boyfriend on a sunny day with no worries at all Tiger lily: do you have any hobbies? Writing, gaming, role playing, reading, and I like swimming Peony: share a small random book passage that means something to you. “oh I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.” - Sam Black Crow, American GodsIM GONNA STOP NOW cause I’m too tired and this too long

[roguetatertot]

Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

IDK who to tag. oAo

Tagged by: @kimievii​

What was your last…

1. Drink: Coffee!!!!

2. Phone call:  My mommy about some cute curtains she got for my Grandpa.

3. Text message:  To my brother about my new modem.

4. Song you listened to: Something on Diamond City Radio in Fallout 4...but can’t remember which one it was.

5. Time you cried: Like two weeks ago when I saw something sad on Facebook about a dog’s final day, and then I cried into my dog (who wanted nothing to do with me at the moment....the jerk)

Have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: Yep. My first boyfriend. He broke up with me on my birthday and then exactly one month later he came crawling back to me.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope.

8. Been cheated on: I’m like 95% certain my first boyfriend cheated on me.

9. Lost someone special: Do pets count?

10. Been depressed: What? Me? Depressed? HAH! (That’s sarcasm btw) 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. I don’t like alcohol. 

Fave colours

12. I was so obsessed with turquoise that I got entirely sick of it.

13. My old favorite color used to be red.

14. I really don’t have one right now I guess.

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: Sadly no. 

16. Fallen out of love: Nope.

17. Laughed until you cried: While watching The Disaster Artist, I think.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: No, but I don’t care if people are anyway.

19. Met someone who changed you: Not in the last year, no.

20. Found out who your friends are: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Nope.

General

22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: Most! I have a few internet friends on there that I’ve never met in real life.

23. Do you have any pets: Three cats, a dog, a turtle, fish, and I dunno if my 2000+ worms count in my compost worm tower?

24. Do you want to change your name: No way. I love my name. Although I would change my surname to be one of the traditional Irish spellings. It got hacked up and changed when my great grandpa came here from Ireland.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: My brother and I are two years and two weeks apart so we celebrated our birthdays together on my birthday. The family gathered here at my house and we ate our favorite childhood meal that my mom used to cook! And we had a huge black forest cake which was sooooo gooooood!

26. What time did you wake up today: 10:30ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Beating Fallout 4 (sided with the Railroad). I feel like I should’ve sided with the Institute after all was said and done, but oh well.

28. What is something you can’t wait for: Getting the FUCK out of San Jose, CA. I absolutely ABHOR living here and want to move to Oregon or Washington. This city has gone down hill and is just one giant cesspool of trash and trashy people.

29. What is your favorite animal: It used to be pigs, but I got burnt out from all the piggy things people would give me. I really don’t have a favorite. I love all animals....except sloths. Ugh.

30. What are you listening to right now: I’m listening to my dog panting. We just got done playing fetch in the yard.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep! My grandpa’s name was Tom! Tom Tucker. He was a remarkable man and had some fantastic tales of his youth. He once was flying an airplane and thought he spotted a friend fishing down on some docks, so he dropped his cargo of tomatoes on him. Turns out it wasn’t his friend, but the mayor of the town. Oops.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: The city I live in. It’s so fucking noisy. Car horns, motorcycles, speeding vehicles, sirens....it’s all giving me bad anxiety as of late. I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand any loud noises, or really any noise at all now. Maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy. lol

33. Most visited website: I guess just google to google things. Or maybe Amazon.

34. Hair color: Right now it’s a mix of my natural medium brown with very faded blue and purple streaks. My hairdresser was sick when she bleached my hair and did my color, and so she didn’t do a good job bleaching it at all. It’s uneven and just.....icky right now.

35. Long or short hair: Having had all lengths, I think long hair looks the best on me. I love the ease of short hair, but my hair is so pretty that it’s kind of a waste to have it short.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Actor Sam Heughan at the moment. But as far as someone I actually have contact with? No, no one. I’ve no interest in having interest, if that makes sense.

37. What do you like about yourself: I guess it’s my McGuyver-like brain. I can come up with some wacky solutions/fixes to issues or problems. 

38. Want any piercings: Nah, I already have enough. In fact, I have three in each ear and I don’t even bother wearing earrings. They’re pointless.

39. Blood type: O+

40. Nicknames: Ziggy, Adriee, Adri, Sissy-Boo, my dad calls me Squirt, and my mom calls me Momma or Mommas. LOL go figure

41. Relationship status: Single and loving it

42. Sign: Pisces

43. Pronouns: she/her, although recently my dad called me Sir for some reason and I was like “Meh cool whatever.”

44. Fave tv show: Bob’s Burgers!

45. Tattoos: I really want one of my kitty’s paw, but I can’t afford it. Nor do I have a design in mind.

46. Right or left handed: Ambidextrous!

47. Ever had surgery: Yup. Microdisectomy on my lumbar spine back in 2009. I actually need orthognathic surgery, but that’s gonna be difficult to have done.

48. Piercings: Three in each ear, and my nose.

49. Sport: Hockey! Baseball is okay too. 

50. Vacation: I really want to go to Scotland, Ireland, and basically all of Scandinavia.

51. Trainers: As in Pokémon or....?

More General

52. Eating: Nothing at the moment. Thinking about raiding my fridge soon.

53. Drinking: Watered down cranberry juice.

54. I’m about watch: IDK not in the mood to watch anything. I’m thinking about firing up Fallout again tho.

55. Waiting for: My workers comp case and Social Security Disability case to come to an end. It’s been going on for seven years and I’m just so over it all.

56. Want: To have my children’s books published. ; u ;

57. Get married: Ew gross no. I honestly can’t picture myself married anymore. That was something younger me used to daydream about, but now that I’m older and much more comfortable with myself, I don’t even entertain the idea. I don’t think I would ever trust anyone to fully love me anyway. 

58. Career: Author. Hopefully a beloved and successful author of a children’s book series.

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Neither, thanks. I don’t even really like when my family hugs me.

60. Lips or eyes: Eyes

61. Taller or shorter: I would hope taller, seeing as I’m short enough already as it is.

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: I have a thing for arms.

64. Hookups or relationships: Neither.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker. I love deviousness.

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Gross no.

67. Drank hard liquor: Yes but ew.

68. Turned someone down: Yep, especially when I worked graveyard at Walgreens. :T Got a lot of creepy men asking me out all the time. Shudder.

69. Sex on first date: Hahaha yeah right. I don’t even really like hugging on the first date. LOL About a year ago I went out on a date with some dude off OKCupid and as we were saying goodbye, he leaned towards me while closing his eyes and I just went “NOPE.” and got out of his car.

70. Broken someone’s heart: Probably.

71. Had your heart broken: Yep. Twice. 

72. Been arrested: Not yet, but hey things could happen.

73. Cried when someone died: I cry when fictional characters die, so yes I have cried when actual people have died. 

74. Fallen for a friend: Nope.

Do you believe in

75. Yourself: As in that I exist? Sometimes.

76. Miracles: I’ve been witness to a few strange things happening, so I guess so. 

77. Love at first sight: Hell no, what am I, ten? Love at first sight is not real. It’s infatuation at first sight.

78. Santa Claus: I mean, why not? What’s the harm in entertaining the idea?

79. Angels: In a strictly mainstream religious concept? No.

Misc

80. Eye color: Hazel, gold in certain light.

81. Best friend’s name: Django, my doggie. <3

82. Favorite movie: Pan’s Labyrinth.

83. Favorite actor: Sam Heughan! Nnghgjkhsjdkghsd

84. Favorite cartoon: Toss up between Bob’s Burgers and BoJack Horseman.

85. Favorite teacher’s name: I guess it’d have to be my first grade teacher, Mrs. Little. When I was in the second grade, I would get horrible anxiety when there would be a project (like art or something). I’d cry for some reason, and the teacher got so frustrated with me that one time she kicked me out of the class. Mrs. Little was on a break at the time and so she took me out of school and drove me to her house while she did a quick errand (I’m pretty sure she called my parents and got permission first). She was nice to me and calmed me down. ; u ; Years later I saw her in a clothing store and she recognized me, and was so excited to see me. She told my mom that I was her favorite back then. <3

#ziggy's blah blah blah #thank you kimie #it's nice to be tagged #long post

[esseastri]

Megan Reads Oathbringer (part 9)

Happy New Year, y’all.

“Heavy Fuel” by Dire Straits is a punk!Dalinar song, sorry, I don’t make the rules.

Part 9 encompasses pages 666-753 (previous parts)

Pray for the mountain internet, please, that it lets me do this liveblog without dropping tumblr every five minutes.

okay, but Elhokar is drawing a map and I’m suddenly vaguely desperate for Elhokar/Eshonai map buddies.

I s2g every time someone calls him “the bridgeman” I just hiss protectively. HE HAS A NAME

oh snap his baby’s name is Gavinor. that’s... listen bud, your dad doesn’t deserve to have anyone named after him, sorry.

“Nice work, Elhokar.” *Gloryspren* THIS CHILD NEEDS MORE ENCOURAGEMENT, PLS, HELP HIM. BE KIND TO HIM. HUG HIM.

“Storming lighteyes, Veil thought as she watched [the food distribution].” YEAH HON, THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO, NORMALLY.

Okay, no, not quite--Shallan would probably not go so far as to send her servants to get food that could be given to the poor instead of rich people, but like... the principle stands. Shallan does not recognize her own privilege half the time, and I guess?? that “Veil” noticing it... might? be a step in the right direction? But... probably not until she fuses her multiple identities back into one person.

And that doesn’t seem like it’s happening any time soon.

HOID

WHY ARE YOU WEARING SADEAS COLORS? 

aw yis. storytime.

Aight, can Hoid see through Lightweaving, or can he just recognize Shallan by like... her stance and the way she moves or? HOW COOL IS HE, IS WHAT I’M ASKING HERE.

“You look like you could use the opportunity to buy me something to eat.” HOID, PLS.

“I’m not stupid enough to get mixed up in religion again.” Again. Hoid, wth does that mean.

but dear god, Hoid as a Herald would be hilarious.

THE LAST SEVEN TIMES HE’S TRIED IT. WTH, HOID, OH MY GOD.

“The sum total of stupid people is somewhere around the population of the planet. Plus one.” “Plus one?” “Sadeas counts twice.” GOD BLESS, WIT.

wait, so he wasn’t lying about the promise? About “always being there when needed” but not always knowing where or why? hm. Interesting concept. That I kind of love and wish I’d thought of first.

“Who came with you?” “Kaladin, Adolin, Elhokar, some of our servants.” I thiiiink the other bridgemen would take offense at that, but sure. Whatever.

I’m...intensely amused that chapter 69 is titled “Free Meal, No Strings.” Because I’m eleven and crude as fuck.

Idk, Kaladin, they have a point: the world is ending, so you might as well party. You can be miserable and afraid, or you can be partying and afraid. I’d go with the second.

OH OOOHHHHH OH ADOLIN CALLED HIM “KAL” AND I DIED A LITTLE BIT INSIDE

MY BOY’S GOT FRIENDS AGAIN AND HIS FRIENDS ARE ADOLIN AND I’M CRY

(but dear god, the Kadolin is real)

Also, Adolin being stupidly happy about getting a new wardrobe is giving me life, I LOVE THIS RIDICULOUS FASHION BOY

HEHEHEH Adolin is going to bring Skar and Drehy pastries from the lighteyes party, that’S SO CUTE I LOVE THIS

“What?” “What what?” “You’re going drinking with bridgemen?” “Sure. Skar, Drehy, and I go way back.” “We spent some time keeping His Highness from falling into chasms.” I’M LIVING MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING MY SKIN IS CLEAR THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED TO ME I LOVE THIS I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS.

“He felt good lots of days. Trouble was, on the bad days, that was hard to remember. At those times, for some reason, he felt like he had always been in darkness, and always would be. Why was it so hard to remember? Did he have to keep slipping back down? Why couldn’t he stay up here in the sunlight, where everyone else lived?”

The Megan-and-Kaladin-Think-the-Same-Exact-Way-and-It’s-Both-Comforting-and-Terrifying Trend continues. 

Sometimes people ask me why he’s my favorite and I just. Have literally never related more strongly to another person ever, real life or fictional. It’s wild.

ADOLIN COMING TO CHECK ON KALADIN WHEN HE FALLS BEHIND WORRYING.

THERE IS TOO MUCH. STORMING. KADOLIN. IN THIS BOOK.

I love that the phrase “and you’re lighteyed today” is a normal thing now. That it changes and he can just. change it. and they’ve all accepted it. I love it.

PUNCHY GUYS.

IT’S THE ACADEMIC TERM

SWORDY FELLOWS OR SPEARISH CHAPS. AXALACIOUS BLOKE.

bless these two nerds

“Adolin Kholin was simply a good person. Powder-blue clothing and all. You couldn’t hate a man like him; storms, you kind of had to like him.”

YOU REALLY REALLY DO. He’s infectious, this sunlight boy. And I adore him.

oh no

“Should have just gone to the party” YES YES YOU SHOULD HAVE. I’M WORRY.

also, why did the illusion wear off????? Shallan, what you do?

“The stew didn’t smell anywhere near as good as Rock’s.” HEHEH Nothing does, I’m sure.

I loooooove that Kaladin gets to tell the truth about Amaram now. Drag him, my boy.

the over-friendly wall guards are makin me nervous

I’m sure there are some good men here, and a lot of good soldiers, but... who are they and where did they come from and why are they all lighteyes and.... I have sooo many questions.

......I don’t remember if the squires’ eyes turn light when they’ve been flying with Kaladin.

I don’t think they do, but I don’t remember, and now I’m thinking...maybe the highmarshal is. some kind of Radiant whose squires are all...lighteyes?

hm

AAHH!!!!??? AAAHH!!???? A LADY SHARDBEARER!!!!!?? A LADY!!!!

Okay. That was a pretty dang good speech.

But who is shhheeee

Is she a radiant or is that an Honorblade???

Mmmmmm, Kaladin also thinks she’s a Radiant, but WHICH KIND? If she’s got a bunch of squires, it could be Windrunner, but... dangit, I just... really want to meet a Stoneward.

“In every way, she was the perfect Alethi wife--and her unhappiness crushed his soul.” IT SHOULD. SHE DESERVES BETTER.

I’m reaaaally glad that Evi recognized the Thrill as a bad thing. A monster crouching in her husband’s body.

“...the Thrill was your reward.” Reward? Dalinar, listen to your wife. Please. That is not a reward.

Dalinar, look at you go. You did try this before, the talking thing. You are talking to this angry kiddo, and you’re bad at it, but you’re trying. This isn’t very punk!Dalinar of you. I like it. I can see the bits of presentday!Dalinar poking through the Thrill-encrusted shell of punk!Dalinar. I like it.

This is such interesting character movement, gaahh.

Evi still deserves better though. “Because of a good woman’s tears” ugh the fridge doors are slowly swinging shut, aren’t they?

whhhhhhhhaaaaat

I mean, I’m not surprised, because it’s Sadeas and he’s Sadeas and of course he’s a fucking traitor, but

whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaat

...........gross.

Shallan needs to stop getting killed, please. This is really gross.

NO, DON’T TRY TO TALK WITH A CROSSBOW BOLT IN YOUR FACE PLEASE THIS IS REALLY UNNECESSARY

I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS LEVEL OF HORROR NOVEL PLEASE TAKE IT BACK, BRANDON.

Kaladin “Good at Making Friends” Stormblessed being all sheepish at making friends easily when it took so much effort to make friends with Bridge Four, like... listen, buddy. YOU are excellent at making friends and these guys were all ready to be friends with you. The Bridge was not ready and you had to wear them down with your charm, and you did, and doesn’t that make it all the more precious that you are friends with them?

Also, I miss them. Are my boys okay, Brandon? How are they doing?

omg, Adolin, pls. Yellow?

The Wall Guards making fun of Adolin’s new wardrobe is DELIGHTFUL.

Kaladin: HELLO, FELLOW LIGHTEYES, FOR I AM SURELY A LIGHTEYES, YES INDEEDY, LOOK AT MY VERY LIGHT EYES.

Hi, I love Kaladin, I am not sure you know this about me.

“Yes, his suit was a little bright--but if they would merely spend five minutes talking to him, they’d see he wasn’t so bad.”

Kaladin.

Babe.

You’ve come. So. Far.

I’m so proud of him, oh my god.  

mmmm this food shipment stuff is so weeeiiirrd. where is it coming from? why is it going?? uuugghhhhh

Part of me is like, “I love that they call Azure ‘sir’ and use male pronouns because there is no gender on the battlefield! Everyone gets treated equal!” and most of me is like “fuck this, she’s a fucking lady in command and she deserves to be known.”

also, wtf, she had them attack a monastery? Okay, I get it, you want to control the Soulcaster, but like.... you didn’t just go in there a kill a buncha monks for it, did you?

OKAY, SO MAYBE IT IS AN HONORBLADE THAT WAS DEF MY THOUGHT

but which one.

We have the Skybreaker one.......so whose is this?

Unless it’s not.

I’m

confused. and worried.

Tell me things, Brandon!

OH. But then she wouldn’t need the Soulcaster...if she had an Honorblade for Soulcasting... so she went and got the Soulcaster to...keep up appearances? Hm.

....is it awkward that Stormlight Archive has, so far, been the story of several people slowly becoming atheist (Jasnah, Dalinar) or agnostic (Kaladin) as their lives fall to pieces around them and they slowly rebuild?

Kaladin is a Good, guys.

The best.

omg, okay, but the Swiftspren is just.... LISTEN, BRANDON, YOU CAN’T GO MAKING SHALLAN A ROBIN HOOD. DON’T DO ME LIKE THIS.

I feel so bad for Elhokar.

Buddy just needs some hugs, okay.

Okay, I know logically that Roshar is Bad At Horses, but somehow it never occurred to me that they wouldn’t have archers trained on horseback. Mounted archer is just... such a very Alethi thing, especially non-Shattered Plains Alethi. I didn’t realize, but of course they wouldn’t have that. Horses are too rare.

aight, I didn’t really think Sadeas had betrayed them THIS early on, but STILL, I was so hoping...

Still, rockslide ambush is... a pretty solid strategy for dealing with a Shardbearer.

Sucks for his elites tho. They did not deserve that. That’s shitty.

“They must know the punishment for broken oaths.” Huh. Even back then...

“for none shall remain to weep.” #YIKES, my dude. y i k e s.

punk!Dalinar needs to take a chill pill.

And maybe get some sleep.

Listen, if the Thrill is telling you not to sleep, yOU SHOULD PROBABLY SLEEP.

also, any time you are actually LISTENING to SADEAS? You should probably rethink your life and your choices.

Just saying.

So... presentday!Dalinar had a conversation with Taravangian, about sacrificing the few to save the many. That’s...sort of what Taravangian’s entire plan for world domination salvation rests on. But now here...at the Rift. This is 100% Sadeas’ argument: sacrifice the ten thousand commoners living in the Rift to make an example of their highlords to stop any rebellion further down the timeline that might result in more soldiers’ deaths. Which gives ...a really fascinating insight into just how incredibly far Dalinar has come. past!Dalinar is literally employing the exact plan that Taravangian is trying to do on a worldwide scale, and so he knows it. He understands the consequences that Taravangian can’t know and can’t anticipate and refuses to consider. And present!Dalinar learned from this, and knows what end these means lead to and...refuses. To do it again.

It’s SUCH an interesting character progression. And it’s absolutely fascinating to see it laid out in this order--to see the good, honorable man we know and love first and to see this...monster that he was and see exactly how very much he’s grown... It doesn’t excuse this bad period, the good he’s doing now, but maybe it explains it a little bit. Dalinar is getting a redemption arc and we didn’t even realize that he needed one until he’s almost done with it.

And that’s some badass non-linear storytelling for you.

Also past!Dalinar can get fucked by a cactus, holy shit, what an unbelievable fuck.

nooooo wonder Kadash leaves and becomes an ardent.

hoooooly shit.

“We’ve gone too far.” YA FUCKING THINK??

Meanwhile, Sadeas: “Nonsense!”

Fuck Sadeas, uuugghhhh I’m so glad he’s dead. UUGGHHH

what

the

fuck

THAT JUST HAPPENED.

Fun facts, y’all, the refrigerator is now on fire.

hoooollly fucking shiiiiiiit

WELP

#op #Megan reads OB #Oathbringer spoilers #Stormlight Archive #Oathbringer #THAT HAPPENED. ALL RIGHTY THEN. #what the fuck brandon