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readerstories · 3 years

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I’m sorry- Aaron Hotchner x gn!reader

Idk if angry was the emotion you wanted, but for some reason that is what I was feeling like writing this time. Also, I cannot keep stuff with Hotch short apparently. (AO3)

Warnings/tags: established relationship, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Hotch being an ass, happy ending

Wordcount: 2696

Request: I was wondering if you could do a hotch x BAU!reader where Hotch says something in the heat of an argument and the reader gets super emotional and Hotch just tries to apologize and make it up to reader. Thank you💕💕

Sometimes, injuries happen at work.

You had done a quick assessment in the field, making a hard decision when you needed to. Going in without much backup had been a risk you chose to take.

Being hit in the head with an old briefcase that has metal edges had not been a possibility you had foreseen, but it happened anyways.

You had rounded a corner in the unsub’s home, gun raised and yelling his name, and he had gotten a good knock on your forehead. You had been dazed for a few seconds, but managed to tackle him and cuff him anyway, reading him his rights as you did so.

The hard edge of the briefcase had hit your forehead, making a small gash, which was not deep, but it was bleeding quite a bit like head wounds tend to do. It’s running down your face as you get the unsub up on his feet, so you have to close your left eye and wipe at it as you lead the cuffed man outside.

Once outside you hand him over to an officer, who gives your head a glance, but doesn’t ask as you turn away from him as he starts to lead the unsub towards a car.

Rossi spots where he’s talking to Hotch and the police chief and points towards the ambulance standing close. You nod, and wipe at your face with the edge of your jacket sleeve, catching Hotch turning around to look at you too, but you don’t catch the worried look in his eyes.

Walking over to the ambulance, you’re guided to sit on the back as one of the paramedics cleans you up.

Even though it looked bad with the blood, the clean up goes quick, and they say you won’t even need stitches.

And luckily no concussion either.

A few butterfly strips get applied to your forehead and you are allowed to go with a promise that you will take it easy for at least a day or two.

You’re asked if you have anyone to stay with just in case and you nod as an answer, the adrenaline of it all wearing off as you stand up and yawn. The paramedic smiles and wishes you good night, you do the same to them.

Joining Aaron at his car, he doesn’t say anything, his mouth in a thin line as he looks at the strips now adorning your forehead. Both of you had agreed from the start to keep PDA to a minimum at work, but you wish he would at least say or do something.

Ask you if you’re fine.

Hold your hand maybe.

Comment on how you should change out of your bloodied jacket.

Something.

Something other than the stony silence that follows you into the car.

It takes a few minutes of Aaron driving towards Quantico before anything is said.

“You were reckless.”

“I made a decision on the spot and it backfired a little, yes, but I was hardly reckless.”

“If he had a gun-”

“I would have disarmed him or shot him first.”

“You couldn’t stop a briefcase, you think you could do a gun?” Getting irritated, you glare at Aaron.

“Yes.” You grit out.

“You sure?”

“Aaron, what the fuck is this?” You see him clench at the wheel, his knuckles turning whiter as he concentrates on driving for a few seconds before answering you.

“You need a debrief.”

“Yes, from Rossi, at the office, not like this.” He scoffs, glancing at you briefly before locking his gaze back on the road. You see his jaw clench, but he doesn’t answer you, so you don’t say anything either.

Neither of you speak again until you’re back at headquarters. Aaron beelines for his office, and you’re hot on his heels, not paying any attention to the rest of the team already gathered at the bullpen.

“Aaron-” You try to speak as you close the door behind you, but he interrupts you.

“You should take a week off.” You stare at him as he rummages through some papers on his desk, not even looking at you as he speaks. “One paid week off should do you good. After all this.” He gestures at you and finally looks away from the papers again.

“Hotch, if this was anyone else, you would let them come back after a day to sleep in.” Aaron sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t have to explain my reasoning to you.” His voice is angry, but simmering with tiredness just beneath the surface.

The silence in the room as you don’t even give an answer to the statement is deafening. There’s a look in your eyes that he never wished to see directed at him.

Ice cold anger. Mixed with disappointment, and something else he can’t quite place. Sadness perhaps?

You unclip your gun from your holster, placing it on his desk with your badge.

“See you in a week, Hotchner.” The use of his full last name hurts, you might as well have used bullets.

You don’t let him give you any response to your statement, opening the door and striding out of his office, not slamming the door behind you as much as you want to. Your steps down to you desk are fast, as fast as they can be without fully running.

You gather your things quickly, ignoring the rest of your team.

Morgan tries to stop you with a hand on your shoulder, but you evade him with a glare, making him back off.

All the things you need on your person, you’re out of the glass door seconds later. You slam on the elevator button, debating on just taking the stairs to run off some steam while also getting out of here.

Rossi joins you as you wait, and you hear him open his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.

“If you try to say something to get me to stay, I swear to god, I will put you on the ground.” Your words and glare makes Rossi’s eyebrows rise, but he keeps his mouth shut and takes a few steps away from you.

Finally the elevator doors open and you get in, pushing the button for the parking garage and the button to close the door faster in quick succession. With one last glare at the bullpen the elevator door closes in front of your face.

While you try your damnedest to set a new speed record for leaving the building, Rossi goes back to the bullpen, where the rest of the team sends him questioning glances.

“What even happened?” Morgan wonders out loud. “I’ve never seen them so angry before.”

“I don’t know.” Rossi is looking at Hotch, who is moving around in his office, partly shielded by the blinds. Everyone is looking between each other and Hotch’s office, the first one daring to go up there ends up being Rossi.

He knocks softly on the door with a knuckle, making Hotch look up from where he is standing next to his desk and reading some paperwork in his hand.

“You want to talk?” Hotch scoffs, putting the papers down on the desk.

“I’m fine.” Rossi closes the door behind him.

“But they clearly weren’t, so come on, spill. What did you do?” Hotch clenches his jaw, sparing a glance down at the bullpen, where the rest of the team tries to pretend they’re busy.

“I told them to take a paid week off, they protested, I insisted.” Hotch sighs as Rossi scoffs.

“For such a smart man you sure are dumb sometimes.” Hotch’s head snaps back by the comment, looking like he wants to answer and defend himself, but Rossi holds up a hand to stop him.

“You messed up. You must have known telling them to take a week off just for this was a bad call.”

“I didn’t.” Hotch's eyes are like steel, but there’s hurt hiding behind, if it’s at Rossi’s words or your actions he doesn’t know.

“But it was. Fuck Aaron, what are you even still doing here?” Hotch squints his eyes at Rossi, who throws his hands up into the air.

“You should be running after them and begging them to forgive you for doing the wrong thing. Preferably with their favorite flowers and candy in hand, or some sort of gesture, because this-” He gestures at Hotch and your gun and badge on his desk, “Is not good for anyone.” Hotch watches him for a few seconds.

“Rossi-”

“Just go Aaron.” Seemingly making up his mind, Hotch gathers his stuff, only stopping right next to Rossi and giving him a glance.

“I-” Rossi pats Hotch’s shoulder.

“Someone had to knock some sense into you. Go.” Hotch nods, out the door in seconds. The team watches him go, neither of them saying anything before Hotch is gone and Rossi joins them in the bullpen.

“They going to be okay?” Morgan asks.

“Let’s hope so.” Rossi answers, staring at the glass doors.

“I hate when people fight.” Garcia says quietly as Morgan pulls her into a side-hug.

----

You don’t know if you should even be driving right now, but can’t find it in yourself to care or think too much about it.

You just need to get somewhere where you can be alone and clear your head. Somewhere there’s less people and more open space.

And lucky for you, you know just the spot.

Almost on auto-pilot, you drive your truck away from work, heading out on the main road, not driving for long until you turn onto a small side road. It can barely even be called that, small and uneven as it is, but it’s no problem for you truck where you drive it with sure hands.

You end up in a clearing near the water, a small beach barely touched or seen by anyone else, except maybe the occasional hiker. You debate going down to the water, but instead you park your truck with its back towards it, flipping the tailgate down so you can sit on it.

Jumping up to sit on the tailgate, you pull out the newly bought pack of smokes and lighter from your pocket. You had quit years ago, but tonight seems like a good idea for bad habits, you think to yourself as you light one.

Taking a drag, you can already tell you will regret it later with the aftertaste you know it leaves, but you continue smoking nonetheless.

Turning some old candy wrapper in your pocket into an improvised ashtray and putting it on the right side of you, one cigarette turns into two, soon morphing into a third.

It’s just seconds after lighting your forth cigarette that you hear another car approach. Which is odd, because you were certain few people know about this place, but you’re not too worried, your private gun resting in the back of your pants a comforting weight.

The car rounds the last bend of the small road, coming to a stop not too far from you, lights illuminating your truck and the beach beyond. Turning to look, you’re almost blinded by the lights, but they are quickly shut off as the car is turned off, and you realize you know the car.

Aaron’s car.

You snort.

The trip out here from the main road couldn’t have been comfortable for his car, or for Aaron.

Good.

You turn back around just as the driver door starts to open, and you ignore the sound of Aaron’s steps in the dirt in favor of taking another drag of your cigarette and staring into the water.

Aaron comes around your truck, leaning against your truck’s tailgate on your left, keeping his distance. He places a plastic grocery bag in the space between you. It makes a dull thud and despite you trying to ignore it, you find yourself curious.

“Peace offering.” Aaron explains as you eye the bag. You reach over and push at the top of the bag so you can peek inside. A couple of your favorite snacks, drinks, and a DVD with the logo of a movie you had talked about wanting to see. You push the bag behind you into the truck bed, taking another drag of your cigarette.

“How did you find me?” You don’t look at Aaron just yet, but you can tell he is looking at you.

“You told me about this place a few months ago and how you go here to relax sometimes and I- I just thought with how I acted-” Aaron sighs. He holds out his hand just in your field of vision, gesture clear. You give him your cigarette, watching him for the first time since he arrived as he takes a drag, letting the smoke lazily spill out from his lips with practiced ease.

“Didn’t take you for a smoker.”

“I had a phase in college.” He offers, taking another drag before giving the cigarette back to you. You take a drag yourself, letting the silence linger for a moment before you speak.

“You know you were being stupid.”

“Yes.” You’re just slightly surprised with how there is no hesitation in the one-word answer, but you’re a little content as well.

“If it had been anyone else in the team you wouldn’t have reacted that way.” Aaron sighs, putting his arms back on the tailgate, using them as leverage to hoist himself up so he’s sitting on the tailgate too, still keeping his distance.

“No one else in the team are you.” You wait for him to say more, taking a last drag of your cigarette, putting it out with the three others in the candy wrapper.

“I’m sorry.” Aaron admits, but you still don’t say anything. “I was acting and thinking like your significant other, and not your boss. I let my worry get the best of me, and I tried to find a way to shield you from any further harm in what little way I could by telling you to take a week off.” You nod, at least seeing his reasoning a bit clearer now.

“I’m not taking it.”

“You are but-” He holds up a hand before you can protest and glare at him too hard “-but so am I.” You blink, staring at him for a few seconds.

“You are?” He nods, and you lean forward to place the back of your hand on his forehead. He almost jolts at your touch, but doesn’t move away.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking if you have a fever.” Hotch scoffs, but a small smile peaks through as you let your hand fall down. He felt fine, and other than looking a bit tired and very sorry, he looks fine too.

Hotch takes your hand in his, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles and you can’t help the fond smile on your face.

“I’m sorry.” He offers up again, letting go of your hand in favor of moving closer so he can put an arm around your waist and lean his head on your shoulder as you look at the water again. You hum, turning your head ever so slightly so you can kiss the top of your head. You can’t see the little shy smile on Aaron’s face, but you can almost hear it in his almost hopeful voice as he speaks.

“Does that mean I’m forgiven?” You hum, moving your hand to rest on his knee.

“Mostly. But you are the only one doing chores this week.”

“That’s alright with me, as long as I get to spend time with you.” His hand on your jaw turns your head towards him, letting him give a brief kiss to your lips, and then a feather light one just below the butterfly strips on your forehead.

“You’re a fool Aaron.”

“I’m only a fool for you.”

“Cheesy.” You roll your eyes at him with a smile as you get down from the tailgate, Aaron joining you, standing close so he can give you another kiss.

“Always.” He says with a grin, making his eyes light up and you can’t help but kiss him.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader #aaron hotchner x gn!reader #gender neutral #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #reader #readerinsert #reader insert #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #written

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years

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Patients Patience

doctor!Jaehyun x reader // FLUFF, SMUT Summary: Who would have thought having a heart disease can make you score someone great like Jaehyun. Word Count: 4k Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, heart disease, swearing, unprotected sex, inferiority complex, broken engagement, doctor-patient romantic relationship Note: -idk if a doctor and patient relationship is legal? or like allowed, if not well this is only a fic -IDK WHAT ELSE TO NOTE HEHE ENJOY?

Ever since you were a little girl, you’ve always dreamt about having a strong heart and be able to do anything and everything you want. Having a heart disease didn’t stopped you from living a beautiful and wild life, you just have to live careful and stay alive so you won’t put yourself in a serious condition. You finished studying, have a stable career, and you’re living a happily in life.

Monthly check up is normal for someone who has heart disease and growing up, you only had one doctor who takes care of you and that is Dr. Jung Hae in. He’s been your doctor for over 20 years and he never fails to take care of you. Today, he told you he will hand over you to his son because he will finally retire.

“Y/n, I’d like you to meet my son Dr. Jaehyun. From now on he will be the one taking care of you” Doctor Jaehyun offered a hand for you to shake and gave you a dimpled smile. “You’re in good hands” he said. Little did you know that your new doctor will someday change your life in a different way.

Nothing special happened during the check up, your new doctor seems to know everything about your condition from how you’re supposed to be taken care of to the future things you need to do to live a much healthier life. “If anything goes wrong, I’m the one in charge to operate you” he said as he bid you good bye and thanked you for your time.

Later that day you had plans with your friends at your favorite bar. A normal Friday night spending the whole time laughing, dancing and watching your friends get drunk. You were waiting for the bartender to notice you when a man spoke to you from behind.

“I thought I said strictly no alcoholic beverages?” you turned your back to see who it is.

“Oh my g- Doctor Jaehyun! Sorry,” you were nervous but happy to see him, you don’t know why you feel this way. “I’m having freshly squeezed orange juice, don’t worry” you explained and invited him to sit on the stool beside you.

Ditching your friends to keep him company, doctor Jaehyun is actually fun to be with. Interesting stories just keeps piling up and no one bothers to look at the time as you two continue talking. Jaehyun is on his seventh scotch and you noticed he handles his alcohol very well, while you on the other is on your fourth glass of orange juice. He was telling you how he managed to pass some of his subjects during med school by sleeping with some of his females professors and they grade him based on his performance in bed. That story made you laughed so hard you forgot who you’re talking to.

“How about you? Tell me something I don’t know, something crazy about you” he challenged. Choosing from a bunch of crazy stuff you could tell him, you picked the most shocking one to beat his story.

“Uhm- I’m engaged…” the moment you told him that he almost choke on what he was drinking and asked the bartender for a glass of water. “Oh, Doctor are you okay?” you worriedly asked patting his back and caressing it while you watch him cough. You don’t know but your touch gave him goosebumps and tingles.

“Sorry I was just shocked- totally unexpected” he said. “Please, call me Jaehyun. I’m not your doctor right now” he said, asking for the bartender another glass of scotch and an orange juice for you.

“But aren’t doctors always on call? Like 24/7?” you asked, trying to avoid the topic of you being engaged.

“If you collapse right now, I’ll transform as your doctor. But for now please, give me a break” you both let out a laugh because of what he said. “So are you happily engaged?” just as you thought you already avoided that topic, he’s bringing it up again.

“Uhh” you let out an awkward laugh, “I broke it off” Jaehyun apologised for prying but deep inside he’s happy he’s not flirting to someone married or at least going to be. You told him it was because your ex fiancé is emotionally unstable so you both have no other choice to break the engagement. “Johnny is a great guy, he’s just too much sometimes” you ended the story with a light note.

The night continued to be more interesting and you both talked about other stuff, knowing each other more but not like a patient-doctor kind of relationship. He was completely growing a huge crush on you and he was confident about it, telling you how much you look beautiful in that dress, how you look hot and cute at the same time whenever you smile. Hearing it from Jaehyun makes you blush like crazy.

You noticed how handsome he is while drinking his scotch and those two loose buttons from his shirt just makes him even more hotter. He noticed how you looked at him, and flashed a dimpled smile at you. To your surprise he came closer to you, his hot breath touching your exposed neck. “Stop fucking me with your eyes. Are you still a virgin?”

The question made you stare at him a little longer, completely startled by his behaviour. Normally if a guy hits on you like this you always know what to say and not to say. But when it comes to Jaehyun, you’re speechless.

“My place is not far from here”

Hesitating but you let him bring you to his place. You were not planning to fuck your doctor but you’re not immune to his incredible charms. The sexual tension was building up fast while you two were walking to his apartment, and when you’re finally alone with him his lips crashed to yours and you kissed him back without having second thoughts.

Jaehyun was not rushing you to take off your clothes or anything, but you can feel his need by the way he kiss you passionately, how his hands were gentle when touching you and how he’s making you want just spread your legs for him. You bumped on the dinner table and sat on it, putting Jaehyun in between your legs. His lips were busy kissing you wherever he wants while your hands were busy taking off his pants and palming his hardening cock.

Now that his pants are already discarded he removed his shirt, and lifts your dress throwing it on the floor. Looking at your clothed boobs as he hooks his fingers on your panties taking it off slowly, you unclasp your bra and throw it to Jaehyun, making him giggle and admire your naked body for a minute.

“First time having sex on a dinner table?” he whispers beside your ear before spreading your legs wider and caress your inner thighs making your pussy tingle and want for his fingers inside you. You moan and roll your head back, enjoying the way he teases you.

The moment was completely ruined when his work phone rang like crazy, “fuck” he said completely annoyed and frustrated. He answers the phone in front of you, keeping you close to him so you won’t feel cold. Seeing Jaehyun completely naked in between your legs while talking to someone on his phone will forever be engraved in your mind.

He ended the call and lowered his head. “I’m so sorry” he exhales sharply, “duty calls. I’m needed at the hospital- fuck. I’m really sorry” he embraced you and kissed you too many times on your cheeks, apologising for the unexpected call from work which perfectly ruined your night. “It’s okay, I understand. Some other time, yeah?” he nods his head and helped you go down from the dinner table.

After that fateful night you two were working your asses off at your jobs, completely missing each other but can’t make time because of the busy schedules. Jaehyun texts you everyday, sending sweet reminders that made you blush and smile out of nowhere your friends are already suspecting you have someone new. At night you feel like a horny teenager sexting someone before you go to sleep, sometimes when Jaehyun isn’t tired from hospital duty he will call you and talk to you until someone passes out.

It’s been two weeks since you last saw Jaehyun and you can’t believe work is being a bitch to the both of you. Today, you have a big wedding to take care of and Jaehyun has a doctors conference.

6:00 am Jaehyun: Good morning beautiful. 7:13 am Jaehyun: Doctors conferences are boring. Did you eat breakfast? Don’t skip breakfast, doctor’s orders. ;) 7:30 am Jaehyun: Drinking orange juice right now and thought of you. 8:30 am You: Sorry I was busy. I miss you too, now let me work. :*

5:45 PM Jaehyun: I just met a total of 64 doctors. Dad has been introducing me around, showing me off like crazy. 6:23 pm You: He’s just proud you took after him.

7:22 pm Jaehyun: I miss your lips.

7:22 pm Jaehyun: I’m done for the day, can I see you now? I can pick you up from work.

7:30 pm You: Done for the day too, just saying good bye to the guests. I’m at the La Vien Rose Hotel, be done by 8. Finally, I’m going to see your handsome face again.

7:31 pm Jaehyun: I’m standing right behind you.

Before you could even turn around, Jaehyun hugged you from behind. Good thing you’re already alone and the guests are far gone. “Hey, sexy” he whispered and twirled you to face him admiring how good you look tonight.

“This whole time you’re at the conference from the other event room?” you said as you embrace him back, feeling happy to see him.

“I have a room here- uh, you want to order room service? Have dinner with me?” he gave you a dimpled smile followed by a wink that you already knew what it’s for. He brought you to his suite that’s big enough for one person, and has the greatest view of the city.

You two sat on the carpeted floor as he reach in for your feet and removes your three inch heels and massage it. “So good” you groaned while watching him, “How’s your day?” you asked and made him stop so you can lay on his lap. Sipping from his glass of wine, he shook his head before answering you.

“Besides missing you like crazy, it felt like shit meeting all those doctors today” he exhales sharply and downs his wine drinking until the last drop. “just family pressure and social pressure from being the last Jung to finish med school since I’m the youngest. They expect so much from me”

You sat up and provided comfort immediately, caressing his arms to let him know that you’re all ears and ready to listen. “They basically dragged me to med school. That’s a family secret. Everyone from my grandfather, parents, cousins and siblings called me a disgrace when I voiced out that I wanted to pursue music”

Theres a moment of comfort silence after he told you the whole story, hearing it from Jaehyun just makes it even more heavy and quite frankly you don’t know how to make him feel better. Good thing Jaehyun knew exactly what to do, “Anyway, it’s too early for you to know this side of me. Let’s just enjoy the night, come on. Were finally together” he reached in for a kiss that you gladly gave and it completely changes the mood.

You watch the city lights flicker as Jaehyun gets another bottle of wine and pour you a glass. He turns off the lights so you could enjoy the view and stood behind you to look at the nice view together. For a moment it was cold and quiet, clearly you’re both tired from today’s events. Until his soft lips touches your exposed neck, suddenly you feel the heat around your body slowly spreading making your head light letting it fall back so Jaehyun can kiss your neck better.

“We’re finally going to have sex tonight” just the thought of it plus Jaehyun’s soft voice gives you shiver. Wine long forgotten, he slowly motions you to the side of the bed keeping you close like he normally does. Slowly unzips your dress letting it fall down leaving you in your matching sexy underwear. You unbutton his blue dress shirt smoothly and admire his perfect body for a second, taking time to digest what’s about to happen tonight.

Doctor Jung Jaehyun is going to have sex with you.

Seeing him on top of you wearing a Calvin Klein boxer briefs is something you only imagine as you masturbate at night while sexting him. And seeing him remove it in front of you can make you cum then and there. Jaehyun is finally in between your legs removing your bra and laced panties, feeling his soft finger tips brush on your thighs. “Want to pump my cock?” he asked with a smirk.

You sat up, pumped his cock until it’s hard, licked it until you’re satisfied and sucked it until you hear Jaehyun’s moans and sharp gasps. Jaehyun’s cock is thick and long, and you’re almost afraid it wouldn’t fit you. “I’m gonna cum” he warns you as you stop him from pulling away as you swallow his cum.

His knees are weak and his body is shivering, seeing him cum in front of you afor the first time makes you extra horny. Jaehyun pushed you on the mattress and grabs both of your legs, spreading them wide before he blows hot air on your cunt and kiss it. A peck that’s so soft you asked for another one. The second contact of his lips on your cunt was not a soft kiss, but a long slow lick that made your eyes close and close your legs.

“Open” he said sternly, of course you followed.

He continues to lick your cunt as you grind your pussy slowly. “Fuck Jaehyun, spit on it” and he did, seeing him spit on your pussy makes you spread your legs wider. Jaehyun stopped and kneeled in front of you as he pumps his hard cock again. Leaning down to you for a kiss as he lines his cock on your cunt, he winked at you before he pushes in. Automatically your arms swing fast around his neck as he goes in slowly, rocking his hips back and forth according to your liking.

It feels so good for Jaehyun all he can do now is continue thrusting slow, furrow his brows and let out beautiful moans. You noticed how he was biting his lip while he fucks you slow, looking so handsome. “Stop biting you lips- you look fucking hot Jae” he giggle and kissed you on your neck, his cold fingertips brushing softly on your nipples which you really love. Making you smile every time he pinch one, “Feels good?” he managed to ask while increasing his pace, you can only nod as you look directly in his eyes enjoying every thrust. You feel your heart beat faster because he looks so handsome fucking you like this.

He puts his right thumb on your clit making you moan and roll your head back. “Don’t do that” you said, trying so hard not to cum yet. “Hmm? What if I want to?” he said as he continues what he’s doing but this time your lips to lips, kissing softly while he fucks you faster and thumbs your clit. Perfect, just where you want it to be. Every moan, hard groan, curse and whine is just between your mouths and bodies, he thrusts faster you’re sure the bed is making a sound. Holding tight on his shoulders, leaving marks on it as your long nails digs deep. Long moans and sharp gasps as you cum hard while he continues fucking you and catch his own release.

While you both ride your high, he’s kissing your naked body as you shiver, still sensitive from your orgasm. Oh how his lips feels so good against your skin. “Sleep with me tonight” Jaehyun offers while he’s busy kissing your shoulders sweetly. You nod weakly as he lay beside you, covering you with the thick duvet. Arms around each other he stare at the ceiling while you listen to his heart beat.

“Can I be honest?” he said, making you turn your head to face his handsome face. His heart skipped a beat seeing your beautiful face, freshly fucked but nervous about what he’s going to say.

“Of course” you said, pushing his hair away from his face and came in closer to him.

“Since the day that I met you- or that night when we ended up naked in my apartment” you both giggled, “Since that day, I go to work feeling excited and happy and that never happened to me before” Jaehyun pinched your cheeks playfully, “you made me to be a better doctor”

Happy to hear that from Jaehyun, you can’t exactly hide your blush from him. “Is that a blush I see, hmm?” he reached for you and gave you a peck on the lips, “If you give me a chance, I’ll show you what true love really feels like. No more toxic relationships, no more broken engagement, just a happy relationship that you deserve”

“I didn’t know that having a heart disease can get me a man like you”

“I’ll make you happy” Jaehyun whispers sweetly.

“You will?” you whisper back, giggling like a little girl while you lean forward and kiss him passionately.

“Mhmm. Fuck your heart disease, you have my heart”

Your relationship with Jaehyun was too good to be true. He’s like a prince from a movie who made all of your fantasies came true, including the kinky ones. Feeling the love that even your ex fiancé and boyfriend for six years never made you feel. It almost scares you everyday that maybe you’re just dreaming and one day you’ll wake up and find out that Jaehyun is just your doctor and no one special. But everyday he proves to you that everything that’s happening right now is real and that you’re not dreaming.

Jaehyun became really strict when it comes to your health and you sometimes fight with him because he’s being too much. “Hey, I’m doing this so I can grow old with you” he always sweet talks you to make you follow everything he says, which always works. He always treats you right, whenever and however he can making you feel loved everyday in his own way. Sending you flowers at work, making you breakfast whenever you sleep over his apartment or by simply saying ‘i love you’ in the sweetest and cutest way possible.

That’s Jaehyun as your boyfriend.

Today is your first anniversary and you both decided to stay in Jaehyun’s place and enjoy quality time together. He made you cut the vegetables he needed while he works on other meals. Not stopping himself from whispering something sweet behind your ear like, “I might get used to seeing you around my kitchen” or something like, “I never thought seeing you mince garlic and onion can make me horny”

The afternoon was fun as you two eat lunch together at the kitchen counter, not bothering setting the table anymore. “Jung Jaehyun what else are you good at?” you asked, definitely amazed by his cooking skills. You knew that he’s a great doctor and that he’s incredibly great in bed, but you never knew about his cooking skills.

“Well, I can sing and play piano. That’s the last skill that you haven’t seen yet” he said, making you eat a spoonful of pasta and left a kiss on your temple and proceeds to wash the dishes.

“I’ve been loving you for a whole year and you never let me hear you sing? Do you want me to get mad?” you hugged him from behind while he’s busy washing dishes, thanking him for making a great meal for your anniversary.

Settling with a bottle of wine as you two sat in his living room to exchange anniversary gifts, you’re nervous about what he’s going to react about your gift. You hand him the box that’s decently heavy and shakes it trying to guess it before he opens it.

“A watch”

“What! How did you know it’s a watch?” you’re completely surprised he guessed it right.

“I know you” he let out a laugh and opens the box. To his surprise it’s not just any watch, it’s the Rolex watch he’s been eyeing and for some unknown reason, he’s stopping himself from buying it. So you bought if for him. “You don’t know how happy I am, to receive this. Thank you” he gave you a kiss and stood up to get his gift.

Excited and bit nervous, you wish he doesn’t propose because you’re not yet ready for that. When Jaehyun came back with a small box, it made you frown. “What’s with the frown?” Jaehyun worriedly asked.

“Jae, I hope you know that I love you and you changed my life quite literally and I’m thankful for that. We’re incredibly happy right now and don’t get me wrong, but I’m not ready to be engaged again”

“Thank you for your wonderful speech, I love you too. But baby, I’m not proposing- Well, of course someday I will, but not today” he let out a small laugh and hands you the box.

“What’s this key for?”

He’s waiting for you to figure it out on your own, “is this a key to this apartment?” you guessed, and he shook his head with a teasing smile.

“I bought us a house… that costs this watch that you gave me” that’s what stopping him from buying it, you thought. “This is not a proposal but, move in with me? So I can see you around the kitchen more, sing you to sleep, wake you up with kisses and my morning breath?” you nod your head with a big smile on your face as you came in closer to kiss him. And your answer made Jaehyun smile from ear to ear, his eyes disappearing because of his big smile.

You feel his cold fingertips creep around your neck as he puts your hair to the side so he could kiss your neck. Making you close your eyes and forget what you were thinking just three seconds ago. You kissed him on the lips and without a warning sat on his lap. Completely leaving Jaehyun speechless but wanting for more.

“It’s only five in the afternoon” you said, still not stopping yourself from hungrily kissing Jaehyun and grinding on his lap. Removing your shirt and unclasping your bra as quick as you can, Jaehyun pulled away from the kiss making you stop everything you’re doing.

“Slow down, please. You want a visit to the emergency room?” He never fails to make you calm. Jaehyun kisses you again setting a slow pace as he carries you to his room and lay you down gently in his bed. Putting you beneath him, slowly kissing you with all the love that he feels for you.

“When can I see our house?” you said, he stopped and giggle like a little boy on top of your exposed breast. A sharp gasp escaped from your mouth the moment his lips touch the valley between your boobs, kissing your left boob like how he usually does.

“How about we finish what we started and talk after, hmm?” He intertwines his fingers with yours as you nod and start kissing him again. Diving to love never felt so good you feel like you’re going to explode any minute.

Both hands are busy getting each other naked, lips never stopped kissing. Jaehyun loves how he can kiss you while kneading your boobs. Legs automatically spread to put Jaehyun in between, slowly kissing you down to your stomach and sweetly kissing your lower abdomen. “Ready?” He asked with an airy tone that calms you. You nod with a smile as he proceeds to lick your cunt slowly, kissing it like it was your mouth, trying not to close your legs and crush Jaehyun’s head.

Jaehyun noticed your legs were already shivering from overstimulation, you try so hard not to cum again. He stopped licking your cunt and start caressing your thighs, “Okay, calm down” he giggle as he kiss your lips again, letting you taste a little bit of yourself. Pumping his cock before lining it to your cunt, he whispered “Can I kiss you while fucking you?” that sent tingles to your spine, you kissed him as your answer earning a sweet smile from Jaehyun in between kisses. You feel him push inside you slowly but you’re distracted with his soft lips that never left you.

He always kiss away the hurt from the stretch of his cock, happy to see you smile while he thrust inside you. In and out. “You look beautiful with that smile” with short breaths he tried to compliment you still. Thrusting deep inside you, you grab the sheets when his thumb plays with your clit making you catch every thrust he gives.

With all your strength you switch positions with Jaehyun so you could see him enjoy the pleasure. You made him grab your ass, and he smacks your left butt cheek the sting didn’t hurt at all but rather it made you horny even more. Hands on top of his chest, you lean down to kiss him hungrily as you move your hips up and down on his cock.

Jaehyun is a mess beneath you now, his moans are a little high, gasp sharper and quicker than ever. Hands gripping your thighs telling you how good you feel around his cock. “Hmm? Really? Kiss me when you cum” you said as you feel his cock twitch inside you, playing with his right nipples to put him on edge.

Jaehyun grab you to the neck as he switch positions again, and thrust inside you hard as he cums inside you. His thrust were not gentle at all, they were sharp and fast you almost fell from the bed. He kiss your lips with open mouth, exchanging spits and bitting your lips as he shivers on top of you.

Still thrusting inside you, his pace became slow like the rhythm of his breath. Forehead to forehead he smiled sweetly to you before removing his cock and replacing it with his middle finger. “Now it’s your time to kiss me when you cum” he whispers while kissing you neck, your hips already long for movement and friction.

In between your legs, Jaehyun kneels to see you how fucked up you are right now. Holding your legs with his free hand so you couldn’t close your legs, caressing your thighs to send you on edge. You look him in the eye as you grip both of your boobs and enjoy what he’s doing to you. Not long after you put your thumb in his mouth feeling his tongue swirl, you feel your orgasm ball up in your lower abdomen making you breath sharp and ask for Jaehyun’s lips already.

But he refused. He made you want for his lips and beg for a kiss as he watch you shiver from his touch. Fingers moving from the bottom of your cunt to your clit, pinching it again and again making you suffer as you cum. You wanted to close your legs so bad but you can’t, “Jaehyun what are you doing- please! Ah! I can’t take it anymore” he stopped and watched you catch your breath, curling yourself and closing your legs to stop them from shaking.

Jaehyun felt sorry and worried for overstimulating you like that. “I’m sorry, I’ll never do that again” you feel his hand caress your back, and covers your body with the thick sheets to help you stop shivering. He was about to leave and go to the bathroom to prepare a warm bath for you, but you stopped him.

With all your strength you hug from behind, kissed him on his chest, sat on his lap and cupped his face. “You’re selfish you know that? Not letting me kiss your soft lips while I cum, baby thats brutal” the pet name made his heart jump and kiss you oh so lovingly, laying you in bed slowly kissing you until your head touches the fluffy pillows.

The kiss lasted for a good twenty minutes, just feeling each other’s warmth without doing anything but say sweet nothings to each other, never ending compliments, and giggles in between kissing. You’re in love.

After taking a shower, Jaehyun got hungry again and made you a sandwich. Watching him cook and walk around his kitchen without a shirt and just wearing his sweatpants makes you bite your lower lip. “Stop fucking me with your eyes, eat” he said as he hands you a plate with the sandwich that he made. “Let’s visit the house tomorrow, then we can buy furnitures for a start” He added before taking a bite from his sandwich feeling excited about the new house, you can’t wait to decorate it and call it home already.

The day became more interesting when you started to suggest things you wanted to try. Like having sex on the tub, which Jaehyun enjoyed and asked you to make him cum three more times. He wanted to play with ice cream, so he ate ice cream on your naked body which made you even more sensitive when you cum. Trying different sex positions and discovering that fucking from behind is Jaehyun’s favorite and fucking you on the edge of the bed is your favorite.

You can’t believe that this man sleeping beside you can love you more and more each day making you fall in love over and over again. You can’t believe that in two weeks time, you will no longer miss his addicting warmth next to your body, and you can kiss him freely whenever you want even when he’s sleeping.

At 3am in the morning, he felt your lips touch his and he smiled when he saw you on top of him. Looking at the time, he let out a laugh because you’re being needy at an ungodly hour. “Want to have sex? Okay, just a minute” he said but you cut him off with a soft “no. I just want to kiss you in bed” and you smiled so sweetly while you watch him nod and close his eyes again.

................................................. Masterlist I’m planning to put more plot to this fic but I got tired. It’s suppose to be a sad ending, y/n dying in the hands of Jaehyun during an operation. If you get to this point, thank you for reading! Really means a lot! #OVERSHARING this fic is inspired by a handsome doctor that I met when I was 12 years old. We have this beach out with some of the doctors that my aunt works with and sheesh he’s hot... and he brought his pretty girlfriend with him. I was watching them swim at the pool and enjoy the sunset as they were probably making out in front of me by that time.

#nct-writers #neowritingsnet #nct smut #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct jaehyun #nct jung jaehyun #jaehyun smut #nct jaehyun smut #nct jung jaehyun smut #smut #nct jaehyun fluff #nct jung jaehyun fluff #fluff #jaehyun x reader #doctor jaehyun

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kirishoshego · 3 years

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Pretty Pink Pill//Dabi

!!!MINORS DNI!!! 18+ONLY!!! Pink Pussycat - also know as the female viagra pill.

TW: nsfw: hard fucking, chocking, spitting, hair pulling, teasing, edging, degrading, praise, oral (both receiving) him slipping the pill into your drink, mention of alcohol, kinda corruption? You’re a sidekick and he’s a villain, so idk if that counts as corruption, burning, slapping

Summary: Dabi has enough of your pride and decides to help the two of you out, because watching you through the window is turning a bit boring for him

It was Friday night and Hawks made you work late, again.

He was very stressed because lately a few members of the LOV just seems to run into you more and more. Of course you couldn’t tell him that it may or may not be your fault because a certain villain caught your eyes and visa versa. You would never admit, Dabi was a murderer after all, a storybook villain. And that’s exactly the problem. Because It was so, so wrong you wanted it more and more every time.

The way he flipped you over with such an ease after you won dominance battling him, ready to throw your first punch in his wicked, perfect face, pushing your hands down, keeping you from moving until you used your quirk on him, throwing him off.

The way his flame licked on your skin so dangerously. He never really burned you, promised the only time he will is when marking you with his name while you battled once again, now you winning, having him in choke hold until Hawks yelled out your name, Dabi disappearing within seconds.

In your last fight Dabi may or may not stole your phone and left it on your doorstep the same night with a note attached to it:

“Wait for my text doll, I still need to fulfill my promise ;)”

That has been two weeks ago. You can’t say your heart didn’t jump for the first five days whenever you got a notification, but it was never Dabi and it bothered you how disappointed you felt. After those days you gave up, slowly forgetting about it.

That was until now.

(8:42 p.m) Unknown: Hey doll, miss me yet? Read (8:54 p.m) Unknown: You know I love it when you play hard to get (8:59 p.m) You: ? And who am I supposed to miss? (9:01 p.m) Unknown: Ouch. Already forgot about me that fast? (9:09 p.m) You: Probably didn’t leave a big impression when we met :)

“You sure about that Sunshine?” you jumped up, grabbing your weapon and holding it to his neck. “How the fuck did you get in here?” you asked him, watching his every movement. He pulled up his arms in defeat. “Careful now, you could hurt someone with that thing,” he chirruped with his tongue, slowly pushing it away from his Adams apple. “That’s the point,” you explained, raising an eyebrow at him. “I came in peace,” he put one of his hands over his chest, the other one up in the air. He grabbed something from his back, causing you to raise your weapon once again. “Relax, it’s just a bottle of rum,” he explained. “Well, that’s a shit peace offering, I don’t drink,” you pointed out. At least not when he’s around. “I thought so, so I got you this,” he pulled out one of your favorite drinks, making you squint your eyebrows. “How-” “You have tons of it in your fridge,” he said nonchalantly. “That’s burglary,” you stated, watching him as he pulled two glasses out the cupboard. “Not if you have the keys,” he turned to you with a smirk, putting them in the table. “Do I even want to know how you got them?” you signed, watching as he purred in both of your drinks. “Hawks has- had a spare one. He lost it the last time we fought and keeping a tag with Y/N written on it, isn’t as mysterious as one might think it is,” You held your hand out towards him, causing him to pull out the keys to your space. “That’s it? No spares?” “Can’t confirm, neither deny,” he shrugged, giving you your drink. “Great, so I have to change the locks once I’m home,” “Where is the fun in that, huh? What if you need a hand in those lonely nights? Or something a bit bigger,” you looked at his crotch and rolled your eyes at him. “As if I would let you ever touch me let alone fuck me, you’re a filthy villain. What are you dreaming about at night?” “You on your knees, mostly. Sometimes doggy. Maybe a position where you can show me how flexible you really are,” he took a sip of his drink, before motioning for you to do the same. You didn’t realize how thirsty you actually are, but once the taste hit your buds you gulped the glass down in one go, secretly thanking Dabi to make you drink something after four hours. He stared at you, watching you swallow, the way your lips glistered from the wetness. “I should call Hawks, let him know you broke in,” you went to grab your phone but Dabi was faster, taking your wrist in his hand and pulling you to him. “Already? Doll you really are no fun,” “I’m a hero-” “Sidekick,” “Hero. I don’t do business with villains, especially not you,” you tried to look disgusted, pulling your wrist away from him. “I give you five seconds, then I will press this button and alarm the top heros about a break in,” you threatened, your finger already ghosting over the red button. He went to grab you again so you punched his face with your bare knuckles, causing him to stumble back again. You grabbed your weapon and went to strike again. He blocked your attack, grabbing your hand and throwing you over his shoulder onto the ground. You let out a grunt and pulled out a small knife, going for his throat. A small flame to your skin made you drop it, causing you to hiss in pain. “What the fuck?” you stared at him angrily, then your hand. “I don’t play nice doll, I’m a villain after all,” he pushed both your hands down to the floor, not moving and watching you closely, waiting for the pill to kick in. You trashed against him, trying to use your quirk on him, but there was no use. “I should have told you, I spiked your drink. Sorry about that, but it will only be temporarily, don’t worry,” You grew angry, at him for being... well, him and you for letting your guard down enough for him to spike your drink.You tried again and when it didn’t work you collected your saliva in your mouth and spit it at him. He was taken aback for a second, only to collect it with his thumb and licking it off of it. “You just don’t give up do you doll?” that when he felt it. You clenched your legs together underneath him, rubbing them against each other in hope of friction. “Go fuck yourself asshole,” you gritted between your teeth and he grabbed your face, his lips now ghosting over yours. “If you behave well I will help you out with your little problem,” he offered, grinding down with his semi hard dick. A whimper left your lips and you bucket your hips up. “Ever heard of Pink Pussycat?” he asked, his hand going to down to grab your boobs, circling around your nipples through your shirt, a shutter going through your body. “So sensitive,” he murmured, going down to kiss your neck, licking along your collar down, up to your chin. “You didn't,” you stuttered, a moan following. “Oh but I did. Your pride is standing in my way, so I had to get some help,” “Stop this,” his hand slipped into your pants while you were talking, his finger finding your clit with ease. “Are you sure?” he attacked your neck again, sucking and biting on your sweet spot, while playing with your pussy, flicking it and circling it as much as your pants allowed. Dabi noticed you were hesitating to answer, feeling you grind onto him every now and then when he would go painfully slow just to tease you. It pleased him more than anything in that moment to have you, usually all high and mighty, like pudding in his hands. The tall man held you down, keeping you in place between himself and your desk, parroting everything you said with a fake pout, a devilish smile on his face every time a moan slipped out. ”Dabi please, I don’t want to- ah,” the pinching of your clit cut you off, the slight pain pleasuring you more than you were willing to admit. ”Dabi please, I don’t want to,” he was choking you while mocking your plea, not hard, considering he didn’t want to keep you from moaning. ”Don’t want to what, huh? Don’t wanna cum from just my fingers? Is it because it’s me or because I’m a villain? Be honest doll, if I wasn’t a villain this wouldn’t be half as hot as it right now. And I know you like me, your body language is very open,” your breath was getting uneven and your eyebrows contracting slightly. ”Okay if you don’t want that, I understand,” he said with overbearing sympathy. Next thing you knew he pulled his hands out of your pants. Before you could stop yourself you grabbed his wrist, whimpering out a no. The build up orgasm vanished, leaving you hanging in the ear and almost crying for his touch. You were more shocked about the neediness in your voice than he was. Dabi knew exactly what he was doing, knew how to get you to your breaking point. “If you want me to continue get undressed. We both know that you want this just as much as I do, don’t think I haven’t heard the way you moan out my name when you touch that little cunt of yours,” he locked his lips with yours, holding your face in both of his hands that were surprisingly warm and silky. The two of you got undressed in-between deep kisses, your tongues battling for dominance but once his snaked one of his hands around your throat and squeezed shut he won, picking you up and sitting you down on the table you were working on just a few minutes ago. “Fuck you’re so hot,” he breathed when he broke the kiss, looking your body up and down. “Shut up,” you ordered, pulling him in again to kiss you more, wanting him to touch you everywhere, your body felt like it was fire. And you knew he was the only one capable of putting it out. He pushed your back down on the table, going on his knees and putting your legs over his shoulders. His tongue was sharp for the first few licks he delivered to your needy little pussy, moans tumbling out of your lips without any shame. Nobody was here anywhere, so why bother? A sudden unknown feeling made you jolt up and you looked at him with wide eyes. Dabi stopped for a short moment, pulling out his tongue and revealing his new piercing. “Got it done two weeks ago, thought you might like it,” He heard a small ‘fuck’ before his lips were attached to the bud between your wet lips again, his tongue changing from sharp to flat, sometimes dipping into your dripping hole. His hands roamed your body, gripping and smacking the inside of your thighs every now and then, knowing how much you liked the pain. “Harder,” you pleaded, feeling him smile before his hand delivered harder slaps to your jiggling flesh. An idea popped into his mind and he decided to use his quirk slightly, his palms heating up before his next slap. Never in his life had he heard such a with pleasure dripping sound, his thick cock jumping in his tight pants. You were so close, you knew only a few more licks and you would be over the edge, finally. You gripped his hair and clenched your thighs around his head to. “What?” you yelped when he stopped once more, right before you came and you saw his deviant smile. “That’s for spitting on me doll, don’t try that shit with me again,” he grabbed you by your neck and pulled you into a deep kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the way he dug his nails into your skin made you moan sinfully. “Can’t deny, can’t confirm,” you repeated his sentence, a bratty glow in your eyes. His dick was hard, throbbing at the filthy look you gave him but he wasn’t done with eating you out yet. This time he added one, then two and then three fingers into you, stretching you out, curling them up and changing his pace every once in a while. He played with your clit again, slurping and licking away, not letting anything drop. Dabi pressed down on your abdomen and you gasped, ready to come undone on his skilled finger. He pulled them out of you and stopped, blowing cold air onto your warm cunt. You were whinning, kicking him with your legs and he smirked, continuing his torture. After he denied your orgasm a fourth time you had a few tears rolling down your face, a complete and needy mess. The hormones making your go wild. “Please, Dabi, please let me come, please, please, please, I’m begging you, god” you whined, trying everything for him to just touch you again. He looked at your helpless form, having you in complete control with how he was holding you, pinning you onto the desk. “There is no need to call me god,” he told you, kissing your thighs and bitting into it. “Fuck, please Dabi, fuck me, finger me, I don’t care just make me cum. I can’t, it’s too much,” you were almost full on crying now, the arch in your core killing you. “I thought you wouldn’t let a filthy villain like me fuck you?” he asked, acting as shocked and confused. “If you won’t maybe I’ll ask Hawks, I bet he can actually fuck me properly,” you provoked the man in front of you. He slammed into you without warning, making you scream. He was a bit bigger than average, but wide and you could feel some piercings adore his shaft, rubbing against your thighs walls just perfectly. “Yeah, think Hawks can fuck you like this, slut? I don’t think so,” he grunted, choking you until you almost passed out. “But I bet you already know that, I bet you let him fuck this little pussy, bend you over the table when nobodies here anymore? Or maybe you leave the door unlocked and let him use your little hole when the risk of getting caught is right outside this door, am I right? You’re my little cock hungry slut, remember that only I can fuck you like this, I’ll ruin you for everyone else,” he slapped your tits again, pinching your nipples. “He won’t touch you ever again from now on,” your eyes grew wide when you noticed the blue flame on his pointer finger. “No, Dabi, st-Fuck-stop,” you tried pushing his hand down but the way he was pounding into you, circling your clit made you go dizzy, there was no strength in your left. A sinister smile formed on his lips when he burned you beneath your right boob. The pain was awful, but the way it mixed with pleasure was overwhelming and you came undone on him, your eyes rolling into the back of your head, while he continued fucking you rapidly, knowing he’s going to leave you bruised for days. For a short moment you forgot everything, only feeling pure bliss, like you're on clouds. He turned you around and the cold glass underneath you cooled down the fresh mark on your chest. “I’m not finished yet, think you can handle me?” he grabbed a handful of your hair and pulled you back into him, looking at the reflection in the window. You looked so fucked and used. His eyes fell onto your chest and he felt his cock twitch inside you. He loved the twisted shit the two of you just pulled, the fact he is fucking your tight little hole right in the office at the hero agency. The fact such a cute, little hero was so filthy, letting him fuck her cunt without much of a fight. He knew this wasn’t the last time, knew he had to get more of you.His hand snaked into the front, twisting and pulling on your nipples, his lips finding your sweet spot again. You came again, hard and fuck, was he dreaming? He watched your shaking form, feeling you squirt all over him and some on the table, letting it drip down at the front. Dabi pulled out of you, your weak form sacking down onto the floor.He sat down in one of the chairs in front of your office table. He was stroking his cock, giving you as few seconds before grabbing your neck, pushing his dick past your lips and holding you down. You choked and gagged, while he held you still, watching the way drool was dripping down on the floor, mixing with your cum that was dripping from your pussy. “So worn out, hm doll? But look at you, still taking my cock like a good girl. Maybe next time I won’t let you wait so long until I fuck you senseless,” he pulled you off of his dick, your mouth open to gasp for air. He used the opportunity to spit into your mouth, pulling you to his dick again. “Now put yourself to use and make me cum my dirty little slut,” he made you look up to him with his hand on your chin before letting go, so you can suck his dick. You went up and down on his dick, sticking out your tongue and letting it circle around his tip from time to time when your mouth needed a small break. Your hand stroke up and down with your mouth, while the other one was massaging his balls.

“Fuck, you’re such a whore. This is by far the best blow job I ever received. Don’t stop, just like this, fuck,” he dragged out the last fuck when you looked up to him through your lashes. You could feel him twitch in your mouth, but he grabbed your hair and pulled you off, his hand gripping his dick and giving it some sloppy strokes before he came all over your face, some dripping down onto your chest. “You still sure you don’t want this?” he asked you after he came down from his high. He took his shirt from the floor and gripped your chin tightly. Dabi gently wiped away his cum from your face, leaving what was left on your chest. “Fuck you,” you whispered, worn out from the heavy orgasm that just rolled over you. “No, that’s your job from now on,” he grinned down on you and pulled on his pants again. “Hey, how fast will it take for the heros to come here once you pushed this button?” he wondered, his eyes laying on the small red button. “Around five minutes for Hawks, the rest 10, why?” “Well, I hope you can explain this mess to Hawks,” he pushed the button, an alarm immediately going off. “You fucking asshole!” you yelled, panic filling your body. “What? There is an intruder in your office, someone should come and help you, you’re a bit fucked out right now” he winked, throwing his jacket over you. He kissed your forehead before a portal appeared behind him. “Text me sometime,” Dabi told you before walking into it and disappearing.You watched him in disbelieve, pulling his jacket off while standing up. A cream for burn marks fell out of his pocket. “You might need this,” was written on the small note attached to it. You looked at the mark he left on you, claiming you as his and his only, T/D

©KirishoShego// do not repost on any plattform

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brutal-nemesis · 4 years

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Misery: my greatest joy

Idk how to structure a rant so here we go babey!!! This is just me spilling my thoughts about the book Misery by Stephen King. It’s my favorite horror book (as of now) and I feel like others in the community would like it too. Also this rant will def contain minor spoilers (and probably major ones idk what a major one consists of tho) so if you want to go in 100% blind this is me telling you it’s a great read and go do it.

CONTENT WARNINGS (for the book): broken bones, starvation, drug addiction, needles, gore, mutilation/amputation, cauterization, a little eyeball stuff, threats of forced self-cannibalism (I don’t have the book on me so I might have missed something minor)

I’m just gonna start by saying I’ve read a decent amount of horror books, and this one feels the most like a whump fic. The basic premise is this famous writer man (Paul) gets in a car crash in rural Colorado and is rescued by a retired nurse (Annie) who’s a huge fan of his work. His most famous series about the character Misery has just ended with him killing her cuz he wanted to write other things. Our girl Annie loves the Misery series and is still in the middle of reading the last book when she rescues Paul. It’s set in like the ‘70s or something so no cell phones or anything. So when homeboy wakes up in Annie’s house, no one knows where he is.

Paul’s legs got super messed up in the accident, like his tibia & fibula just got SHATTERED and, shockingly, that hurts a lot. Paul straight up goes on for pages about how bad his legs hurt and he’s basically helpless due to this, bedridden until she gets him a wheelchair. Annie has a bunch of painkillers that she stole from hospitals she worked at, and she gives them to Paul. If he does what she wants :)

See once Annie finishes the last Misery book she gets hella pissed at Paul. Sis is very much not alright in the head, and it’s what makes her such a great whumper since she’s so clearly unhinged and hard to predict. She keeps Paul captive in her home and forces him to write another Misery book, bringing the character back to life. Paul tries to resist, but she does things like withhold pain meds or refuse to feed him, sometimes leaving him stuck in bed for days. She’s a fantastic example of a caretaker/whumper combo and it’s great because every time she punishes Paul for something, she always twists it to be his fault. She’ll do something like throw his soup at the wall and then tell him he can’t eat that night because he made her upset enough to do that. She just has this air of thinking she’s genuinely doing her best to help him and things wouldn’t hurt so much if he just did what she wanted :) I just love that kind of manipulation for some reason.

Paul isn’t super defiant, but he typically doesn’t just roll over to her right away. And even when he’s genuinely trying his best to please her, it might not be good enough and he still gets punished. He genuinely tries to escape or at least seek some kind of help, leaving the room she locks him in to at least get pain meds/food during the periods when she leaves the house to go to her “Laughing Place” for a few days (I said she was mentally ill and I meant it) or just into town.

Anyway now I wanna talk about my favorite scene and FYI it does involve amputation, cauterization, & needles/noncon drugging. Okay so she finds out that Paul’s been “out and about” while she’s been away and she gets pissed. He wakes up to her injecting him with something that makes him all sluggish. They start talking about how she knows he’s been outside the room and at some point she casually says she just gave him a “pre-op shot”. Paul just spirals at this, and basically every few lines as the keep talking the phrase “pre-op shot” keeps popping up in his thoughts and he’s like Annie please what the hell do you mean pre-op shot what are you going to do to me and she just ignores him and keeps explaining how she knows he’s been outside. She then tells him about how in some diamond mines, when workers run away and are caught, they’re hobbled so they can’t run but can still work. Paul starts feeling sooooo much dread and then she pulls out an axe and he just starts pleading with her as she calmly disinfects it and his ankle. There’s just something about the whumpee freaking the fuck out about what’s going to happen to them while the whumper is calmly preparing for whatever they’re about to do that just hits me in the exact right spot. As Annie raises the axe, she responds to Paul’s pleas with my favorite line in the entire book, “Don’t worry, I’m a trained nurse.” And then the axe falls.

I just love that line cuz it shows how she feels that he doesn’t have anything to worry about because she knows what she’s doing. He shouldn’t be concerned about losing his foot because she’ll make sure it will heal right, and this is necessary to ensure he’ll finish his work. She’s the picture of calm and detached as she cauterizes the wound with a blowtorch and he’s just horrified and sobbing. I just love how much she doesn’t realize what she’s doing is wrong and horrible even as her captive screams in pain.

She later cuts off his thumb and (cannibalism incoming) threatens to make him eat his own severed finger which is sooo fucked up, and deeply fucked up things always manage to press my buttons. There are a lot of other horrible things she does but I don’t want to give everything away and the two amputations are high up on the severity scale. I wanted to talk about them cuz I love them and so people get a bit of a content warning. Horror books don’t really come with those which can be an oof for some people but thankfully for me the only thing that triggers/squicks me out is noncon kissing which doesn’t come up too much.

The ending doesn’t have a whole lot of comfort but I’ll at least tell you that he does get away cuz a happy ending is never guaranteed in the horror genre, and I know that’s important to some people. There is so much more to the book that I didn’t talk about cuz I don’t want this to get too long but I could just go on...

Uhm in conclusion if you like whumpy caretaking, a whumper who is detached at times and intimate at others, long-term captivity, and enjoy gore (or at least can tolerate it) then this is the book for you thanks for coming to my TED talk (●'◡'●)

#stephen king misery #nemi's vibes #damn it felt good to just talk about this book #if you made to the end i love you and you get a cookie!#cw gore #cw cauterization #cw amputation #i love the horror genre but i know it's not for everyone #ranting is fun i just vomit things i normally say to myself in the shower #does anyone else talk to themselves in the shower #it's fun you should try it #i wanted to go to bed early last night but i stayed up till 12:30 finishing this #and then i worked on it MORE this morning #and who knows if it's even readable #okay that's it for now bye tag readers ily

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poplinn · 4 years

Note

I do think that the new outbreak of toxic people drumming up their toxic groups in this fandom is hurting people. They think theyre doing something right but all they're doing is making mentally ill and/or young fans too scared to enjoy or create in fear of being harassed.

Hi anon! first of all i want to apologise for responding so late. I have a lot to say about your ask and just wanted a clear head before i decided to respond. i want to start off by saying you are absolutely right.

Before i continue i am going to put a read-more because, well, i have a LOT to say about this, so, mini-rant ahead under the read-more…

These people are doing more harm than good.

I understand if you want to make a small list with content warnings, for a fandom, that is completely fine! But using such a list to start bullying, harassing, threatening and in general, witch-hunting people is not okay. Many great and talented people have been driven away from the fandom by that tiny toxic group(or the cucks, as i like to call them for easy sakes). Content creators are even scared to post their content too now, both of these things are a huge shame. It’s terrible. Sites like tumblr are supposed to be for sharing your content without limitations. [well, until the nsfw ban, but you get what i mean..]

I happen to be in contact with some people on the blocklist, and let me tell you, they are truly amazing and wonderful people.

Yeah sometimes people make content you may not agree with, but that doesn’t mean you have start attacking people for it. Do you know how easy it is to click the unfollow or block button? But apparently some people are so stupid they prefer to screech instead of click one single button.

But for example, I dislike a certain popular hc for medic. I dislike the Jewish medic hc. I’m a Jewish man myself, but I don’t like seeing Jewish medic for multiple reasons, none of which are out of antisemitic nature. What do I see when I see Jewish medic? I mind my own fucking business. The person who posted that wanted to create that, fine by me. I don’t agree with it, and I don’t have to. I’m not going to make a dumb expose list for everyone who ever said anything about medic being Jewish. I mind my fucking business like a normal, mature person.

And there was/is a huge discussion about drawing or writing tf2 non-con…yeah, rape isn’t good. Every sane person knows that. Writing or drawing rape does not mean you’re a rapist (unless it’s an autobiography of course, then I’d like you to take a trip to prison). But, some people, including myself, write or draw non-con as a coping mechanism. I use confrontation to cope. I have a few triggers, and by confronting myself with said triggers I’m slowly getting over said triggers.

If I write or draw about these triggers or rape, I feel like I’m relieving my feelings about what happened to me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and i’m not the only person who does it like that.

Yeah, I get people don’t always want to see that. That’s why tags exist, that’s why people use those tags for content and trigger warnings. That’s why you block those tags if you don’t want to see it. It’s that simple

Also, some of them make the claim that fiction is reality. I disagree, fiction is not reality. Yes, fiction can impact reality, but it isn’t one and the same. If you can’t distinguish fiction from reality then, well, you’re either not ready for fiction or not old/stable enough to be able to tell the two apart. Besides, if fiction really IS reality then so many movies and books would have been banned, or the writers of those must have been in jail by now, right? Writing a book about a fictional serial killer does not mean the writer is planning to or already has commit murder. Take Tf2 fan-fiction writers for example. They write about dudes slaughtering each other on a daily basis, but some of them wouldn’t even DARE to hit a fly in real life.

People who commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already going to do so to begin with. No sane human sees a crime that occurs in fiction and thinks to do the same. Those who do commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already planning to do so to begin with, and were probably not a completely hundred percent stable person.

And about the discussion of miss p being a lesbian, yeah I get that Jay said she’s gay and that, and if she really was a Canon lesbian, it’d be weird to ship her with men. However, those cucks do also make soldier a homosexual despite him having a (gorgeous) wife? Isn’t that kind of hypocritical? Anyways, Jay most likely was joking about miss p being gay, he’s known to be a jokey person like that. I feel like the way he did it was just saying “oh yeah btw she’s gay”. To me it feels vague. In the same sense that jk Rowling suddenly says everyone is gay in Harry Potter. Yeah, I hc her as a funky lil lesbian too, but i don’t go off on a tangent when someone sees her as bi, because the way she was “confirmed” as a lesbian, was vague and uncertain, and most likely a dumb joke that split the fandom in half.

Anyways, most of the cucks I ran into are underage, and aren’t even allowed on this site, which can explain their irrational behaviour, and refusing to listen to anyone who slightly disagrees with them, but lemme tell y'all something, minding your own fucking business would have prevented this entire blocklist ordeal.

Besides, YOU are in control of what you see on the Internet. Don’t like a certain type of content? BLOCK IT! or just, STOP LOOKING AT IT! it’s not that hard!

You are responsible for your own experience on the Internet. Not ready for that? Then close your phone/laptop and go outside. Content creators are not responsible for what you do online, these creators don’t know you, don’t expect them to fucking take care of you, they’re not your parents. Avoiding certain content does NOT mean you have to start policing others on what to post. You have no right to tell artist what they can and cannot post. Again, you may criticise or dislike it, that’s fine, but actively demanding censorship or threatening the creator makes you look like an incompetent asshole.

And if you disagree with something, it’s better to start with calming yourself down and contacting the OP in a respectful and mature manner. Maybe talk to them, broaden your horizon, broaden their horizon. Can’t agree eventually? That’s fine, it’s normal. Simply block the tag or the creator themselves and boom! You’re done, and didn’t harm anyone in the fandom and probably learned something, and OP probably too! If something isn’t tagged you can always, nicely, reach out to OP and ask them to tag. Most of the time they will. And if they don’t, just unfollow or block them if they continue posting a certain something that triggers you. Making a blocklist is one of the most immature things you could do. You bully and harass people to the point where some feel unsafe, and some even suicidal, in a fandom about a dumb fucking hat Simulator. Is that really what you want?? A fandom is supposed to be a safe and fun place for everyone who likes a certain something. By being toxic, and harassing others to the point where they don’t even feel safe(not only those who are young or mentally ill) in a what was supposed to be a safe place for them, you’re actively harming that safe place, and frankly, you don’t deserve to be in the fandom.

Also, I’ve seen a lot of these cucks say they actually hate tf2 as a game, and really, if you hate the game so much why are you still here in the fandom? And ruining it for the rest for us?

If you do feel unsafe, follow steps I mentioned above. Talk to people, block tags, block people, and mind your own business without policing others in what they can and cannot do. Unfortunately, the creators who do feel unsafe because of the toxic group cannot talk them, because the moment someone even slightly disagrees with them, or tries to respectfully discuss why they’re being “cancelled” the cucks start screeching like full-blown autists.

You’re not the law enforcement, you are (most likely) a minor who isn’t even allowed on tumblr in the first place, and who has no idea how the internet, or fandom spaces in specific, even work.

Fucking hell I miss 2014 Tf2 fandom sometimes.

I hope this ramble makes sense, and again I’m sorry for making this so long.

And I’m sorry for posting drama again, I don”t like it either, and i usually have a lot of patience, but after a few years of this shit, i have come to reach my boiling point, and i just snapped, I’m sorry.

I sometimes refer to the cucks as you, idk why, but just now that isn’t referring to you anon.

Hopefully this will be the last of drama/discourse for now.

Thank you for reading, have a good day.

-pop

#drama #discourse #Anonymous #TF2 #tf2 blocklist

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the-strawzish-clownfish · 4 years

Note

Oh, you wanted me to hit you with some? Bet. Do all of them Strawberry

YOBI I LEGIT JUST ASKED SOMEONE THE SAME THING

YOU’RE OMNISCIENT I SWEAR

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

I have never considered that before now but thanks for that

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

3 probably, I’m not really scared of the dark most of the time (unless it’s literally pitch black), but every once in a while i get really unnerved bc i get rlly paranoid

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Satan

4. What is your favorite word?

“faith” bc my faith and bc synesthesia

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

uhhh flowering cherry bc at my old house my brothers and I each had a tree that my dad planted for us when we were each born and mine was a flowering cherry

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

I looked in the mirror this morning?

7. What shirt are you wearing?

coral pink bubba gump shrimp co. t shirt

8. What do you label yourself as?

child of God, daughter of Sappho

9. Bright room or dark room?

bright if we’re talking natural light being let in through my windows, dark if we’re talking just normally bc rlly bright lights mess w my sensory issues

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

talking to you yobi

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this age, I’m a firm believer in that things will always get better, even if only one small thing does improve, when i think back on past years i get anxious and nostalgia isn’t good for me

12. Who told you they loved you last?

@toomanyfanfics that one

13. Your worst enemy?

my mental health tbh

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

never experienced romantic attraction, i used to have a plush (qp crush) on one of my best irl friends tho (@ blob have fun with this fact)

16. The last song you listened to?

I am listening to Echosmith’s Cool Kids as I am writing this, before that I was listening to Girls by Marina and the Diamonds, which is a hilarious song i 11/10 recommend

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

myself, I’m not s*icidal but I’m not killing someone else

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

whoever the person who decided Teen Vogue should endorse child pornography was

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

me, I would make myself do actual work for once

20. What is your best physical attribute?

my eyes, i just like them. fun fact this one kid i used to be kinda good friends with was talking with me on snapchat once (bc we did that a lot, back when i had snapchat) and i don’t remember how we got into this but he ended up describing my eyes really weirdly? it was really deep and got kinda strange? it was like a movie scene but via text message and then in the middle of it he was like “wtf am i doing” and i will always remember that (dude if you are for some reason reading this then idek what to say man. sorry). anyone who knows me irl (@ you blob) can take a guess as to who this is

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

idk the answer to either of those questions tbh

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

idek man sorry

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

weed, like i’m genuinely terrified of being in its presence (never been in its presence before), i’ve had nightmares about it

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

EVERY TIME I GO TO SUBWAY I GET THE SAME THING. BUFFALO CHICKEN, RANCH, AND CHEESE ON ITALIAN HERBS AND CHEESE TOASTED. I WOULD REPLICATE THAT

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

go to Atlanta and find a homeless person and buy them some clothes and food and some blankets

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

CANADA

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

first of all why is an angel giving me unlimited alcohol that’s just kinda strange second of all i am a MINOR i am not legally ALLOWED however i will probably just take whatever and give it to some people, someone will like it

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

be kind and do good where you can and if someone wrongs you forgive them

29. What is your favorite expletive?

as;ldkfjasdkgaj;lsdf

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

my cactus!! she is v important to me

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

the first thing that comes to mind was really traumatic for me, but it’s what brought me as close as i am to God now so idk that i would get rid of it. idrk man, it really sucked but i’m glad that I’m so much closer to God now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a [redacted bc even though this is a hypothetical i absolutely would never do this and refuse to acknowledge it even in a hypothetical situation]. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

….Canada?

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

idk, peeps are in heaven now and i don’t really wanna take that away from them

34. What was your last dream about?

ask God not me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

not really, however i have had several surgeries (all on my mouth) so i was in the hospital for those

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

I have built a real, genuine snowman once in my life, and the only proof is a picture i have bc i was so little i can’t even remember it. it doesn’t snow in georgia

38. What is the color of your socks?

ain’t wearing em, however most of mine are gray with some colorful bits

39. What type of music do you like?

I have an eclectic mix of favorites.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises all the way, the afternoon and evening make me anxious but nighttime and dawn and early morning are the best times

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

vanilla bitch

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

UGA i guess bc it’s ga and that’s a safe answer, i don’t really follow sports (i watch baseball sometimes though)

43. Do you have any scars?

oh i’m covered in tiny ones, the most notable being one on my thigh that was on my knee when i first noticed it. to this day i do not know how i got it

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

gay

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i wanna be better about lying

46. Are you reliable?

heh depends, when it comes to knowing random things or being stupid, yes, but when it comes to remembering things, such as dates and times and things? absolutely not

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Has it gotten easier?

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes and no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a whelk and a quetzalcoatlus, no i do not accept constructive criticism

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i once spent hours talking to myself about if it is possible for a perfectly fair coin to exist outside of theory

51. Are you a good liar?

I like to think so

52. How long could you go without talking?

Oh I could go a looooooooooooooong time, however i do have my chatterbox days and i am known for not shutting up so it’s really a tossup on that one

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

when i was 3 my mom put blonde highlights in my hair and it was absolutely absurd

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

i cannot bake to save my life, however i have made my father cheesecakes for his birthday and they turned out okay so idk

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

sco-ish

56. What do you like on your toast?

a crap ton of butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

dude in a graduation cap

58. What would be you dream car?

idk whatever’s cheap and works

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

uhhh not really no

60. Do you believe in aliens?

i mean i don’t think we’re the only life in the entire universe, so yeah (and also they’ve found traces of ancient bacteria on Mars so if you don’t believe then who are you kidding)

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

occasionally, i don’t believe in astrology but it’s at least somewhat accurate a lot of the time and i like to freak myself out

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

you’d think i’d have an answer for this, however i have never thought about this before. so e ig

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

if your answer to this is dinosaurs then get out of my house

64. What do you think about babies?

they’re good at shrieking, and for that i admire them

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

i am not interesting

#are you pleased with yourself yobi #sorry this took so long #strawzy answers #fucking yobi #tw swearing #cw swearing #strawzy cleans out dus inbox

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swiss-cheeze · 5 years

Text

Secretes from the Summer of 69’ || Brian May x reader

((Why are there not good gifs of Brian wtf?))

Warnings: uh, swearing, angst, shitty writing, like, one sexual innuendo. I wrote this in like; an hour or two so it’s really shitty.

A/N: it’s a song fic.

Listen to the song for better use I guess idk.

Lyrics are in bold

———

Growing up was never something for you, you always wanted to be a kid, or at least a teenager. You could get away with everything if you thought of the perfect cover story and had a good complexion, keeping fit always helped as well.

So when you sat down for that final exam you knew everything was going to change. Yeah you got a B- which is good and all, but you finished school; now what?

---

I got my first real six-string.

Bought it at the five-and-dime.

Played it 'til my fingers bled.

Was the summer of sixty-nine.

“Go again Brian” you said rewinding the tape.

“What? But that was perfect!” Brian said dramatically throwing his hands up, John groaned behind you as he came up and pressed the coms button.

“You missed a part dummy!” John said, “If you can’t do it then we’ll get Roger in there and see what happens!”

“What! What part!?” Brian retaliated.

“Just…” you sighed and placed your head in your hands as John kept the coms on, “just play from the start, go all the way through and we can pick and place later” you said exhausted.

“Whatever you say” Brian mumbled. The man put down his drink of water, made a motion to replay the tape and soon the drums and base floated through the room accompanied by Brian’s guitar; he was doing better on this one than any other.

Me and some guys from school.

Had a band and we tried real hard.

Jimmy quit, Jody got married.

I should've known we'd never get far.

“He hasn’t played this bad since Mike left” you said softly making John chuckle beside you.

“Aren’t you glad I came then” John stated as he sat down in a nearby wheelie chair with a large grin.

“Sarcasm isn’t a pretty look on you Deaky” you explained with a grin, you played with a few of the knobs on the control board before leaving it alone and turning around to look at John, “you were so shy and enclosed back then when you first came into the band”

“Shut up” John jokingly said with a smile.

“And the hair!” a voice exclaimed, it was Roger walking through the door with a cardboard tray, two cups of coffee and a tea no doubt, “the hair he had back then WOOF”

“You had that hair back then too don’t forget” John said with a chuckle as he grabbed the coffee Roger had handed him as you grabbed the one he handed to you.

“So, Brian’s still at it then yeah?” Roger said as he leant over the control panel and squinted through the glass, and Roger had the audacity to say his eyesight was fine, “sounds shit”, you whacked Roger in the arm as the man chuckled, followed by John and then you.

“He always sounds shit darling don’t flatter yourself” Freddie said walking through the door, “sorry I’m late, my poor darlings had a stomach bug and I had to take three of them to the vet. THREE!” Freddie exclaimed as he ripped off his sunglasses and landed on the couch with a ‘poof’, “I think it was the tuna I gave them as a treat, needless to say, my loves won’t be getting any tuna no more”

“Don’t you always feed them Tuna though?” Roger asked with a cocked eyebrow raised over his sunglasses.

“Yes but-“ Freddie began.

“Oh please don’t go on about what you feed them Freddie. Please” you said placing your head in your hands, “I’ve heard enough screeching thanks to Brian already, I don’t need you to add onto that” you said with a chuckle.

“Fine! I just won’t feed you then” Freddie said jokingly.

“You don’t feed me enough anyway” you mumbled before blowing a raspberry softly, a soft ‘ahem’ came from the sound booth door.

“I just tried to play my heart out and here you all are talking” Brian said as he sipped his tea, Roger grinned behind his coffee cup as Freddie and John snickered.

“Heart? What heart? All you’ve got is skin and bone my friend” you said with a smile.

“Oh hush hush, don’t hurt the poor boy” Freddie said with a wave of his hand and a grin on his lips. Brian rolled his eyes before slinking over to the couching and plopping down softly.

Oh, when I look back now

That summer seemed to last forever

And if I had the choice

Yeah, I'd always wanna be there

Those were the best days of my life

“Stop eye fucking” John groaned.

“Who?” Freddie asked as he looked between everyone.

“(Y/n) and Brian” John said with a sigh, “they keep looking at each other with these eye movements and I can tell they’re undressing each other as we speak and it is not nice to be able to see” the man said as he rubbed his forehead, seemingly scarred from what he had to witness.

“Well if you hadn’t have said anything we wouldn’t be envisioning it right now” Roger mumbled, “plus you’re the one who saw and thought of it, you have such a dirty mind Deaky” the man said with a grin.

“Well he does have the most kids” you said with a chuckle as you sipped your coffee. Brian shook his head as he laughed softly.

“You’re all a bunch of idiots you know that?” Brian asked as he looked to everyone in the room with a nice twinkle in his eye, “between you three” the man said with a finger drifting between Roger, you and John, “you each have one collective brain cell and none of you are using it right now”, you gasped dramatically and placed a hand on your chest and Roger pulled his glasses down his nose a little and John snorted softly.

“How RUDE!” you yelled, you stood up, “I don’t deserve such SLACK! Especially from a PESANT, like YOURSELF” you said, “come minions, we have work to do” you said to John and Roger; the two simply laughed softly (as did Fred and Brian) as you walked to the door, “no but seriously I gotta get to work otherwise I’ll be late” you said with an awkward grin.

“Oh shit yeah” Brian said, “I’ll see you out love, come on” the man said as he stood up and motioned for you to keep walking. The two of you had been together for close to nine years and only recently gotten hitched. Brian smiled down at you as you grabbed your bags and stood at the door, Brian looming over you.

“Work on your fingering” you said with a snicker making Brian roll his eyes.

“Yeah yeah” the man mumbled softly as he smiled, you smiled too as Brian bent down and kissed you softly as he held your elbow softly with one hand and his other on your cheek, “have fun at work okay?” Brian said as the two of you parted, you nodded.

“I will.” You smiled as you pecked the man on the lips once more before you started heading for the door, “I should be home for dinner, if I’m not then don’t wait up okay?” you asked, turning on your heel and walking backwards. Brian nodded.

“I’ll keep it in mind, don’t worry” Brian said softly, “love you!” the man said as he blew a kiss your way.

“Love you too babe!” you blew a kiss back as you turned just in time to get the door and walk out the place.

Ain't no use in complainin'.

When you've got a job to do.

Spent my evenings down at the drive-in.

And that's when I met you, yeah.

---

Brian didn’t actually know what your work even was, you had never told him, you just said it was something ‘top secret’ and something only you and your workmates needed to know. After being told this numerous times Brian ended up giving up and just treated it as if he knew.

Standin' on your mama's porch.

You told me that you'd wait forever.

Oh, and when you held my hand.

I knew that it was now or never.

Those were the best days of my life.

The thing was, legally you weren’t allowed to tell Brian, and otherwise you would have to-

Let’s not get into that just yet.

---

Oh, yeah

Back in the summer of sixty-nine, oh

---

Back when you and Brian had first started going out you were known as the ‘never would last’ couple. Brian was always the teacher’s pet, goody two shoes, be good boy, and you? You where the reckless, ambitious, ‘throw caution to the wind’, ‘do now, regret later’ person. You got into fights that Brian had to break you out of, he had to make sure you studied when a test came up, he was the one that helped you with your killer hangovers from those regretful ‘celebration’ nights when you got past an exam. You didn’t even properly start saying you and Brian where together until a year in, and even then it felt foreign on both your tongues, but you got over it, got past your reckless phase, studied and became a goodie that people could rely on.

Well, that’s what you let them believe anyway.

Man, we were killin' time, we were young and restless.

We needed to unwind.

I guess nothin' can last forever, forever, no.

Yeah.

---

Times change, people change and appearances need to be kept up. Brian was touring with Queen more than ever, yes you missed him, but this also meant you could get more work done without him around, this meant that you HAD to get reckless, wild, and out of your mind fucking crazy; within your job limits of course.

You watched Brian every time he came on live on the telly, he always dedicated a song to you, it was different each time but it was still cute and you loved it.

And now the times are changin'.

Look at everything that's come and gone.

Sometimes when I play that old six-string.

I think about you, wonder what went wrong.

That was, until the day shit hit the fan.

---

“Brian?” you asked shakily into the receiver.

“Yes love? You sound scared are you okay?” the man asked slightly concerned as he sat on the edge of the hotel couch the band was staying in.

“I-I. Fuck. Brian I made a mistake. Brian I’m so sorry” you said shakily as tears slowly started to cascade down your face, “nothing went right, we all fucked up and they found us. Everyone got out except me and-“

“Wait wait, we? Everyone? Escaped?” Brian chuckled awkwardly, “love, I…I don’t understand what you’re saying”

“I work for the Secret Service Brian” you said in one breath, “I’m in the worst branch, me and my team are the ones who get missions for-…for killing people, some jobs we have to assassinate someone, or-or we have to get certain information from something for someone else” you took a breath, “Brian I’m in jail, I was caught, I AM caught, my post wasn’t secured and the police got in and immediately took me in” you said quickly and shakily. Brian didn’t say anything, his soft breath was the only thing that came from the other side of the receiver. “Brian?” you asked, “Bri please respond” you whimpered softly.

“Ma’am” the guard said, “your time is up”.

“Fuck, um, o-okay.” You said quickly, “Bri I gotta go, please, come get me, I’m being held somewhere in-, fuck I think Germany? I don’t know. Bri please” by this point you were crying as the guard grabbed your arm roughly, “Bri please find me! I have a life sentence! Please!” you pleaded through your tears, you couldn’t end like this, “I LOVE YOU!”

Standin' on your mama's porch

You told me that it'd last forever

Oh, and when you held my hand

I knew that it was now or never

Those were the best days of my life

---

Thirteen years had passed and Brian hadn’t come for you. He had sent a letter, only one letter, stating that he wanted a divorce and even though with the amount of love he had for you, he couldn’t be with someone like you. You cried over that letter, your pillow and the jail cell you were held in had seen more tears then you cared to say.

Brian didn’t come for you, Roger didn’t call, and Freddie didn’t visit.

But John did.

He did all of those things, he couldn’t get you out of jail. But he sat with you outside your cell almost every chance he got. Brought you good food, new tapes to listen to, new books to read, and clothes. Almost anything you asked for.

So when you asked for another letter from Brian, John was definitely taken aback.

“A letter? From Brian?” John asked.

“Please John, I miss him so much” you said softly with tears in your eyes, you reached a hand out to touch John but the stern look you got given from the guard made you bring your hand back in quickly, “even just a ‘go away’!” you said with a watery smile, “I just need something from him. Please. I beg you”, John sighed softly as the bell rung for visiting hours to be over. He stood up as the guard came forward to start escorting him out.

“I’ll…ill see what I can do okay?” John asked, you nodded quickly with a smile, “alright. Next time I come I’ll try and bring a note from him”

“Thank you John! Thank you!” you sniffled as the guard started walking John out of the compound.

---

Oh, yeah

Back in the summer of sixty-nine, oh

It was the summer of sixty-nine, oh, yeah

Me and my baby in sixty-nine, oh

It was the summer, the summer, the summer of sixty-nine, yeah

“This is all he would give me” John said, it had been three months since John had last come to you, and this time he had something to give you. The man looked around to check the guards weren’t watching and slipped it into your cell quickly. You smiled to John widely as you started to open the note quickly, quietly, and trying not to break it.

‘(Y/n)

John told me you wanted a note. So here it is.

Yes I miss you.

Yes I still love you.

Yes I want to get back with you.

I didn’t have enough money back then to get you out but now I think I do. I think I can get you out. Deaky can tell you the finer details as I cannot through a piece of paper and pencil.

Please don’t think any low of me.

The only thing I ask from you is to tell me everything you had been keeping from me for all of those years we were together, what you did, how you did it and answer any of the questions I have to ask you.

I don’t want to start off where we left because that isn’t right.

I want to get to know you again, over dinner, a date if you will. But you must tell me everything I ask for, without hesitation and without keeping anything from me.

No more secretes.

We will have to take this next step together slowly and oh so carefully.

So, in the words of Bryan Adams.

‘Back in the summer of 69’

Bri x’

To say you had never been happier was an understatement as happy tears rolled down your cheeks and you held the note close.

#bohemian rhapsody #brian may #queen #roger taylor #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may x reader #x reader #fanfiction

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orange-plum · 6 years

Text

I try to write shit like this, and I always just stare at a blank screen for minutes and delete my sentences.

Maybe it’s that in 3 days it’ll be the 1 month anniversary, or maybe it’s just that for the past couple years I’ve never gotten a break to just catch my breath and recover (Friend drama with Lemon, financial problems, moved out, got a tumor, Lemon’s dad died and she self destructed so I felt like I had to watch out for her and put my emotional stuff on hold, depression, drank every day to cope, more financial problems, surgery, recovery, depression, Voldemort day, friend stuff, Lemon moved away etc etc) but my minds been really discombobulated recently.

I either overthink and wanna do some unhealthy things to cope, or I zone out or dissociate I guess for chunks of time. I think a good 20% of my day I don’t remember. Which is kinda scary cuz the scariest thing that happened to me was in a blank zone. So it freaks me out I guess haha

I remember stuff sometimes tho. I’ve remembered a couple things from that night. One was kinda minor, but the other one was a hand on my ribcage. Just. It feels really imprinted on me haha Even writing that is making my hands shake, but I think at least putting thoughts down “on paper” helps more than I’d like to admit. When I remembered that I think I zoned out cuz I looked at the clock and it was 43 minutes later and I was gripping my hand real hard that I guess I dug my nails into my hand so it’s got all these cuts and shit on it now.

I know it’s not realistic and I don’t have any sort of professional training for it, but I really feel like I should be able to handle this on my own. I don’t like asking for help. I don’t like seeking stuff out and just dumping my shit on someone cuz that’s super rude. Idc if they even say they don’t mind. They’ve got their own stuff, and my stuff is really gross and personal and all it does is make us both feel uncomfortable so. Idk maybe I’m scared of being seen different or pitied? It’s easier just to joke and be pleasant.

It’s just when I get alone I’m just. Idk. I don’t even think I’m a person anymore. Or I don’t feel that way, anyway.

It’s weird cuz I’m all about positivity and optimism and stuff, but ngl I think you can’t be a survivor without being a victim first. You can’t just wake up the day after something traumatic and be a survivor. Healing doesn’t work like that. And I think I’m just upset cuz I wanna be the survivor version of me but I have to wait to heal to be that. And I hate being a victim it just makes me sound weak and whatever. But it’s not like I have any control over that. I think I’m in the early stages of grief, maybe denial or something. So I’m just nervous that when a later stage comes it’s all gonna hit the fan and I’m just gonna be unbearable to be around and everyone’s just gonna wanna take off.

Which is OK I wouldn’t blame them. Everyone wants a carefree life and shit. I don’t wanna bring someone down with my drama.

I already kinda feel like I do that now anyway haha I feel like I talk about this too much but IDK what else to do with this information. I try to keep 95% of it to myself cuz it’s just unpleasant, but sometimes it spills over.

I remember the first week after it happened I think I stress ate and maybe gained 5-8lbs. But now I just eat a bagel and part of a cucumber a day or something and it’s hard. I had McDonalds the other day cuz I knew it had more calories in it, but I think I lost all that weight and maybe more cuz I just don’t wanna eat. The shorts my dad bought me a few weeks ago, I can now take them off without unbuttoning the button. Which is kinda nice I like losing weight. But I just don’t wanna develop some kinda eating disorder haha

I upped my workouts, too. I just don’t like anything anymore, but at least with working out I can take out some stress. Maybe that has something to do with it, too? I have no idea.

I just feel like I’m slowly self destructing. And I know I’ll get better cuz I’m strong, and some people tell me that or say they look up to me so I will for their sake, but maybe I do need to self destruct before I can get better? It was kinda like that with my tumor last year. It’s just scary, I guess. I feel high every day, everything’s jumbled around and I blank out and then I feel manic then I’m depressed I’m just all over the place. I’m irregular, that’s it. And I’m tired, man. I’m so tired. Every god damn day. I’m just exhausted even when I’m just sitting down. And when I’m not awake I’ve been having dreams of being murdered and assaulted. It’s freaking me out.

No, I’m not going to go vent to someone. No, I’m not gonna look into any self help groups. No, I’m not going back to therapy. Thank you for everyone who offered advice, but I know me and I’m not gonna do that stuff. Not right now, anyway.

I think I’m also jealous. Jealous people get to have lives that don’t feel like you’re a pilot to a body instead of in a body. They have friends and dates and relationships and priorities. Meanwhile I’m over here on pause and my biggest accomplishment is walking outside to my car when the sun’s up.

And I feel bad, cuz that’s not fair. When did I become the bitter bitch because people have lives? I’m sure I can have a life. I think I’m just too scared to have one. Cuz if I do, maybe that’ll lead back to another bad situation.

I had a life the night I went out and look where that got me.

And another thing, I can’t get over Lemon. I’m just. Idek if I wanna talk to her anymore. We text sometimes since she moved, but she... she dropped the ball so hard on me. She ignored the issue and moved away to be happy with her boyfriend and start a new life. I went out for her last night here like she wanted, got assaulted, and then she expects me to act like it never happened so she could move. I’m just upset with her I can’t even explain how upset I am with her. And she comes back to town next month.... If I let her know how I feel, she’s gonna shut down and never speak to me again I know it, and IDK if that’s what I want. But not telling her how pissed off I am is also eating me alive.

I remember sitting there with that cop staring at me, telling me I needed to make a decision on the spot. And I had my hands in my hair, completely unsure if I wanted to open an investigation, and I was like “If my friend just called the cab company I’d know what to do” and he was like “Yeah, but she didn’t. So you need to decide.”

I literally could not choose to file something because fucking Lemon didn’t call that damn cab company. I am so upset over that I think about that every day.

I just want to shut up and never talk about this again but I can’t. I say that and then vent like this. I feel like I walk around with a big X over my head that people can see “Ruined” or something. I don’t even know how to function anymore. Maybe I have ptsd IDK. I always think about it. When you think I’m not thinking about it, you’re wrong.

I hate myself at the moment. And I know it won’t always be like that. Recovery, and all. But for the process, at the moment that’s how I feel. I’m just a barely functioning person who’s ruined.

I’ll pick up the pieces. I will. I will. I will for sure. But I’m being honest rn. No amount of reassurances will change how I feel.

What happened to me in my mind right now was my fault, I put my friend above myself again and because of that I had to learn a life lesson. Whyyyy did I look away for those 5 seconds? Ughhh It’s none of my business. My parents told me all the time for years that it’s not my business if Lemon’s in trouble with a guy. I shouldn’t have butted my nose in and pushed that drunk guy away. She’s an adult, she can tell him to fuck off if she wants. She just has no backbone and maybe I feel like I have to look out for her??? Look where that got me. I look out for Lemon and get roofied, only to have her ignore my requests to help me afterwards and move. She ain’t ride or die. She cares about me, but not enough to be 100% a friend.

I got ruined for someone who doesn’t even meet a friend standard. People have told me that for years and I ignored them. I’m so fucking stupid jeez, Orange. It’s common sense.

I’m not grounded, I guess. I’m just all over the place. I wish I had someone to ground me. I’d literally pay a big, strong guy to give me a hug for 5 minutes just so I feel safe for a second. I just don’t feel safe, I guess. I keep getting nervous this will happen a second time. It’s like a gut feeling. When I go outside I’m just jittery, watching people.

Ugh. Well. I just wanted to vent. This is just for myself. I’m a pretty open person so Idc if I do this on my blog and people see it but. If I write it to myself in private it doesn’t seem real. So I don’t like doing that Idc I’m not sure why. I’m not trying to start drama I swear. So just ignore this. I just needed to clear my head and breathe for aminute.

#personal #negative #vent #ignore me #i just needed to self indulge and let some stuff out #im good now

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bbparker · 6 years

Text

🎄 Choose Me (Tony Stark x Reader)🎄

[Christmas Special]

Summary: What happens when (y/n)’s husband Tony is called away at Christmas, ruining her surprise for him?

A/N: Lol idk about this one but have fun!

Requested by: @kwj-jojo

Prompt: “A mission? On Christmas? I think the fuck not, the bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up…” “(y/n), no…”

Warnings: Mentions of blood, accidents, angst

Words: 2.6k

Song: Pretty Bird by Crooked Still

|| Masterlist ||

The morning sun rose and shone through the blinds, casting a glow onto Tony’s handsome face. (Y/n)’s breath hitched, still in shock that this man was hers. 6 months ago, they’d had gotten married on an impulse. There was no dress and big crowds, just Tony & (y/n) in a small church with Rhodey as their witness and this was their first Christmas together as man and wife.

Sitting up on one elbow (y/n) brushed a stray hair away from his forehead and watched as his lashes fluttered open, exposing brown eyes. “Good morning sweetheart.” Leaning down (y/n) caressed his lips with hers. “Good morning Tony.”

The moment only lasted a couple of seconds before both realised what day it is. “If I didn’t enjoy receiving free stuff so much I would have probably stayed in bed longer.” (y/n) laughs adjusting her dress in the mirror as Tony showers behind her.

“I knew you didn’t only marry me for my looks,” Tony muttered sarcastically. Turning around, ignoring Tony’s nudity, after all, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t seen before, “You know I love you for more than your pretty looks and money?”

Tony’s smile slowly widened as (y/n) leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. “You should probably see somebody about those over confidence issues, Tony.”

“You love it don’t lie!”

Entering the kitchen (y/n) graced everyone with her smile, eager for the festivities, however, seeing the looks of disappointment around the room, (y/n)’s smile dropped. “What’s wrong?”

Nobody seemed to want to answer until Tony stepped into the room. “Man, who’s soul died and is now haunting the room? Cheer up!” Steve made his way over to Tony and whispered something about seeing him alone to which he agreed. Tony turned to you and gave you a kiss on the temple before following Steve’s tall self to a room with clear glass.

(Y/n) watched as Steve’s shoulders remained tensed and slowly as he began explaining the situation, Tony’s did too. Looking around (y/n) saw almost everyone is a dampened mood, the only one willing to make eye contact with her was Vision, who didn’t seem overly concerned.

Turning back towards the two leaders, (y/n) watched as Tony nodded and sighed, both exiting the room. “Everything alright?” she asked, grabbing a hold of Tony’s hand. “(y/n), don’t get mad but, there’s a mission we have to handle immediately.”

“A mission? On Christmas?” (y/n) looked around at her team members, only Clint managed eye contact with her, giving her a sad smile. Of course, he understood more than anyone about being away from their family and the only one who knew her little secret that Tony hadn’t even found out yet. Though she wasn’t one of Avengers, she was like a mother to them all who cleaned injuries, cooked and fed them etc. Disappointing (y/n) was like disappointing their own mother.

Turning to Tony once again, who had his hands in his pockets but didn’t drop his gaze from hers, “I think the fuck not! The bad guys deserve a good Christmas after all their hard work of fucking shit up!”

Tony laughed before a scold from Steve made him rein it in, covering it with a cough. “(y/n), no… We can’t ignore this…”

“I-I know but sometimes it-it’s just not fair. You’re my husband we barely have any time together as it is… I just want you to choose me for once…”

(y/n) walked towards the elevator, pressing the button. The Avengers seemed to be trying to look anywhere but the couple but it was like watching mom and dad fight, or a car accident- you couldn’t look away.

“(y/n) I choose you, always but this is people’s lives on the line.”

Turning from the arriving lift, (y/n) backed into the elevator.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own,” and the doors finally close allowing (y/n) a breath of relief, hand falling to her stomach as her eyes watered. Her surprise for him was now ruined and she blamed Iron Man, the Avenger, the saviour to so many but himself.

Pulling out her phone, (y/n) dialled her mom’s number. “(y/n), honey! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas mom! I’m coming to yours for lunch it seems!”

Tony’s POV

As the elevator doors closed, Tony released a sigh before turning to see his team staring. “I think you upset mom,” Sam attempted to joke, however, it wasn’t well received as multiple people whacked him across the head or let out exclamations of ‘Sam!’.

“I’m sorry Tony, but we have to go.”

Tony just looked at the ground, shuffling his feet, before holding his head up. “Yeah, Avengers suit up!”

As Tony made his way to the lab where is numerous suits are stored, he can’t help but wonder if he really was making the right decision. The world over their life together, plus what she said back there really struck him. Her voice echoing through his head as he stood before his newest suit.

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

What did she mean by that? He’d been there almost all the time, so what did she mean missing out?

“Tony… you okay?” Steve enters the room, placing a light hand on Tony’s shoulder, something he was quick to shrug off. “Yeah, perfectly fine.”

Tony was not fine, as the mission continued he couldn’t get (y/n)’s face out of his head as she glanced down at the floor, elevator doors closing; like their relationship. Finally, it distracted him to the point where a shot from a HYDRA weapon managed hit his arc reactor. “TONY!” multiple voices chimed, however, as Tony fell from the sky at alarming speeds he couldn’t hear anyone.

As he fell (y/n)’s face came to his mind, if this was going to be it for Tony he wanted to only think about one thing. (Y/n) and the life he could have has with her, hell they’d only been married 6 months! They never got a honeymoon because Tony had been too busy with the Avengers, they hadn’t been able to celebrate either of their birthdays either. Suddenly, Tony felt a sinking feeling that wasn’t from the rapid ground approaching. It was the fact that (y/n) was right.

Something solid greeted Tony as he welcomed darkness, a quiet plea in the form of (y/n)’s name falling from his lips.

“Hey Ma”

“Sweetheart! It’s good to see you, where’s that husband of yours?”

“He’s on a mission…” Her mum gave her a look of disapproval like (y/n) had anticipated. Her mother had never approved too well of the playboy and she only ever recognised the bad things he does.

“I told-”

“Ma, not now, it’s Christmas…”

Nodding her head, (y/n)’s mom walked ahead into the kitchen where their family was waiting.

When time passed and lunch was eaten (y/n) couldn’t help but shiver as if something was wrong. “You okay (y/n)? It’s not that cold in here is it? I thought I turned the heaters on…” Her dad said running a hand up her now gooseflesh arms. “Yeah dad, I just got this really weird feeling…”

The room went strangely silent as her family looked at her, a phone suddenly interrupting the silence. Despite the once cheery atmosphere, the phone now echoed in a haunting silence. (y/n) picked her phone up to see it was Steve’s private number which he barely ever used. Something was wrong.

“I-I… I have to take this…”

Walking quickly outback, (y/n) shivered again because of the cold. She couldn’t see anything, not the snow nor the concerned family members peeking out the window, too concentrated on his voice.

“Steve?” (y/n) asked softly.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry- it shouldn’t have happened but none of us could… could get there on time- “

“What are you saying, Steve?”

“(Y/n) … the mission went wrong- “

She stopped listening. When a member of the team said, a mission went wrong, which rarely happened, someone usually ends up gravely injured or… even passed. She cried into the phone, “Steve, where is he?”

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry…”

“STOP SAYING YOU’RE FUCKING SORRY! Tell me where my husband is!” She screamed into the phone, tears falling freely now.

“H-he’s at the compound, Helen Cho and several doctors are trying to- “

(y/n) hung up on him and ran back inside, grabbing her keys to her car and running to her car. Her family called her but she didn’t listen. Putting the car into gear (y/n) went twice the speed limit, no thought to her condition only focussed on getting back to her love.

The last words she yelled at him echoed through her mind.

“I just want you to choose me for once…”

“Funny that Tony, you’re so busy with everyone else’s lives, you’re missing out on your own.”

How could she say such things to him? She knew he loved her, she knew he’s always put her first but what about the other families suffering out there? How could she be so selfish? Seeing the orange light up ahead (y/n) pressed further onto the gas watching as she went past the line only to feel a huge presence beside her. Looking (y/n) got a glimpse of headlights her first thought running to her precious bundle to arrive in five months’ time.

“No...” she whispered as a loud honk filled her ears and all she saw was white.

Stepping on the gas further (y/n) felt the jolt before the truck just nicked the boot of her car. Breathing out rapidly in shock, (y/n) pushed on taking the straight road to the Avengers facility up north.

Arriving, (y/n) turned the car off and ran inside, pushing through the crowd of workers, even knocking people over and to be met with shouts. She, however, had no care. Her husband was severely hurt of dying, she’d be damned if anyone gets in her way. Arriving at the elevator (y/n) almost broke the button pushing it in and the same process occurred inside the elevator; some people even slightly backing away from the slightly crazed looking woman.

When (y/n) arrived at the door, she nearly broke the door down because they opened so slowly but once there had been a space big enough for her to squeeze through she was gone. Running down the multiple halls, (y/n) stopped at end of the hall to the wing specifically reserved for the Avengers.

Stopping (y/n) saw the team gathered in the seats, still in their uniforms and some even bleeding but refusing attention. Nat tilted her head back but stopped halfway as she spotted a dishevelled woman at the end of the hall, mud coating her shoes and the bottom of her jeans.

“(y/n) …” Nat whispered but everyone’s head snapped up to her like she had screamed. Walking forwards slowly, (y/n) felt no more tears as she approached His door, refusing to acknowledge the team. Clint walked slowly forward and as he tried to rest a hand on her shoulder, (y/n) turned and slapped it away, glaring.

“Don’t touch me, anyone.” Making eye contact with every team member and hearing the calls of multiple people, (y/n) turned to see a window into Tony’s operating room. “Oh, no...” She covered her mouth as sobs racked through her body seeing his blood on the doctor’s hands.

“This… someone tell me this isn’t real, this isn’t happening…”

(Y/n) felt a presence behind her, strong arms wrapping around her waist and bringing her to their chest. At first, she fought, pushing them away but when their hold was unrelenting, (y/n) let go. Sobbing, Steve caught her as she fell, pulling her into him once again.

Burying her head in his chest, she sobbed for Tony, for anybody to tell her this isn’t real. Looking up into Steve’s eyes, she saw tears in his eyes. “S-Steve?”

“Y-yeah?”

“He-he c-can’t die…”

“(Y/n) he won’t, the doctors are- “

“No Steve, he can’t…” A fierce fire had lit within (y/n)’s eyes and in seeing this Steve frowned. She was trying to tell him something that she just wasn’t getting. Slowly, (y/n) took his hand and bought it to her stomach as his eyes widened feeling the bump that wasn’t so obvious in her flowy shirt.

“Oh, my god.” Steve gathered his arms around her and brought her to his chest once again, slightly lifting her up. “He’ll make it (y/n) … he will.”

Make it he did. (y/n) sat next to Tony’s bed with her hand holding one of his casted ones. It had been a week since the accident and every day (y/n) hoped for him to wake up, yet every day his chocolate eyes remained closed.

A soft knock came from the door making (y/n) jump and turn to find Steve waiting with two coffees in his hands. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

As Steve entered, she returned to her position. Setting the drink in front of her, Steve chose the seat behind (y/n) and there they sat for the next four hours. (Y/n) couldn’t bring herself to leave this spot beside her husband. What a betrayal on their vowels they’d made not too long ago. (Y/n) had promised to stay by his side no matter what and when things got a little rough she fled, like a weakling.

Kissing his hand lightly (y/n) closed her eyes. She didn’t deserve Tony, he was willing to risk his life for other people, other expectant mothers like herself and she’d been so selfish to have him to herself. Little she’d realised Tony was an international person who couldn’t belong to one, there was too much to him for one alone.

She couldn’t blame anyone. Not Steve, the Avengers, Iron Man… this was her fault. Was she distracted because of what she’d said to him? It was almost guaranteed to go wrong is someone’s headspace was in the wrong place.

Hearing a small gasp and quiet talking; (y/n) cursed Steve. “Steve, I love you but please shut up. I am trying to concentrate on not having an emotional breakdown; don’t know if you know but it takes more brain power than I originally thought. Damn, now I’m the one talking too much…”

Silence followed before a light chuckle followed, definitely not belonging to Steve causing (y/n) to look at the smiling face in front of her. “You know, you should probably see somebody about your emotional state…”

(Y/n) couldn’t help it she burst into laughter before happy tears started falling, “You love it, don’t lie.”

So, his smile grew as he observed her face. Beautiful, he thought. “I’m so sorry Tony. I overreacted. I know you would choose me in a heartbeat but I was acting too selfish to see it.”

Tony’s gaze softened as he watched her eyes tear up further, drifting slowly towards the Super Soldier exiting the room before returning to his beautiful wife once again.

“What happened, Tony?”

“Someone got a lucky shot,” Tony said, not wanting to feel her guilt she undoubtedly felt because he’d been distracted by their fight. (Y/n) shook her head before catching a glance of something and smiling back at Tony.

“Also, I wanted to give you some news, I was supposed to tell you on Christmas day but since you’ve been on the mission and… sleeping for a week, I haven’t been able to tell you- “

“Wait, a week?”

“Yes…?”

“I’ve gone to sleep and woken up in the future? Amazing.” (y/n) smacked him lightly laughing along with him before realising he was injured. “Oh, my gosh Tony are you okay? I just hit you and- “

“I’m fine (y/n), now what’s the news. Has my great aunt passed away and left me a great fortune?”

“Tony, you don’t have a great aunt.”

“Has my boyfriend come for me?”

“I can go and get Steve if you’d- “

“What about my sister, not my dear Julianna,”

“JESUS TONY I’M TRYING TO TELL YOU IM PREGNANT!” (y/n) yelled finally.

A silence ran through the room as Tony stared wide-eyed at (y/n). “What did you say?”

“I said… I’m pregnant.”

“Is it mine, wait don’t answer that.” Smacking him again they laughed before Tony’s eyes focussed in on (y/n). The way she laughed, head tilted back sometimes a snort would slip past her.

“But really, how far along are you?” Tony asked smiling happily at his wife. “Nearly five months now.” Tony’s shocked laugh came through as he looked at the roof, eyes glassed over. “Well, how about that…”

“Tony…”

“Yes, sweetheart…” Tony’s eyes seemed to have softened incredibly, yet he also appeared to have aged a couple years due to the stress of a mission and their argument.

“I found out the gender a couple days ago…It’s a boy.” Another shocked laugh left his lips as a joyful face greeted (y/n). “You’re incredible, (y/n).”

“I think you mean we are…”

“I love you, more than anything (y/n) and I also have news for you but you’ll have to lean closer.” Smirking, (y/n) leant closer, “yes?”

“We’re going on that dang Honeymoon as soon as I’m out of here.” A loud laugh escaped (y/n)’s mouth, “whatever you say, Honey.”

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