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murderousginger · 4 years

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She’s A God

Peaky blinder fic Tommy x reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Sass. Alcohol. They’re criminals guys, they do bad things.

Word count: 4,183

You often kept your head down at the office, typing up your work as a secretary in the Shelby Company Limited. You knew the kind of people you worked for and didn't want blue eyes interested in you unless it was an offhand comment on a good job on a task.

One such pair of eyes passed you on the way to his office with a murmur of your name and the same as he passed Lizzie, whose desk was directly in front of his door. Tommy Shelby was very polite and quiet in the office, unlike his brothers.

"Good morning, Mr. Shelby," you said back as you ducked your head.

You dressed modestly in hopes to be overlooked, unlike some of the other women that were employed there. You would see their hungry eyes on Peaky men and the hope that they would catch attention. Sometimes they did. Moments spent in offices would occur before they were all but patted on the ass and sent back to their seats, their satisfied faces would turned back to their work. You never faulted those women but you weren't one for a tryst, especially one that could endanger you.

Today, you let your mind wander as you typed your work. Today, Tommy Shelby had placed invitations to his housewarming party on all of the desks in the office.

Everyone knew the Shelby family history like it was Small Heath lore.

From a young age, Tommy had decided he didn't believe in God. As a small boy with a hungry family, a dead mother, and a runaway father, he concluded pretty quickly that even if there was a God, he stopped stepping into Small Heath long before Tommy was born.

Polly had taken the Shelby siblings in to raise when she was young and had a small family of her own. She ruled the house over the Shelby children and her own two with an iron voice and a quick hand. She worked while her husband drank away their money and she often put herself between him and the children when he decided to become violent. She had worked tirelessly to feed and clothe the kids, pushing them to get through as much schooling as they could in hopes for a better life. She stayed strong when her husband died, and fought to keep the kids and raise eight children by herself. She lost her children but managed to keep the Shelby's close.

She watched Tommy, Arthur and John work together to start the Peaky Blinders and provide protection for pay to Small Heath businesses. She sewed in the first razorblades into the boys caps, overseeing their attempts at replicating her work when they needed more for the neighborhood boys they recruited.

She watched Arthur, then Tommy, then John, all enlist and leave for France, once bright boys with mischief in their eyes and dreams in their heads come back from war scarred, tempered, and broken. She hesitantly released the Peaky Blinders leadership to Tommy, slipping between soldier and advisor when it suited her.

Everyone knew that Tommy Shelby might not have thought to fear God, but he feared his Aunt Polly.

During your employment, you noticed that fear translated rather easily to respect of strong, intelligent women now he was an adult. It's not that Tommy disrespected women he didn't find intelligent, it was more that he shook them off once they lost their usefulness. Pretty women were to be looked at but rarely stayed around. Weak women were quickly discarded if they came around at all. The Shelby's were not known to be sensitive. But an intelligent woman? She was worth her weight in gold if she could be trusted.

Few outside of direct family were trusted. Wives -- if they lived long enough and proved helpful at family meetings -- and for a reason you did not understand, Lizzie Stark.

You and Lizzie were friendly enough to each other. Not exactly best friends, but you would both take lunch together and enjoy each other's company from time to time. Too many women were jealous of Lizzie because of the moments she was called into Tommy's office and the shades were drawn.

You pitied her. Not because of what she agreed to do with Tommy Shelby behind closed doors, but because you weren't sure the man had a heart that would ever open to a woman. You noticed the glances Lizzie would give him from time to time, and you felt for her.

"Are you coming to Tommy's housewarming tonight?"

You jumped, shaken from the thoughts in your head, and saw Lizzie sitting on the edge of your desk looking down at you expectantly.

"I'm not sure…" you trailed.

"Come with me, please!" Lizzie smiled, touching your shoulder. "It'll be a night of a free meal and flowing alcohol. We can take a car together. It'll be fun!"

"Are you not staying?" You immediately blushed as Lizzie shrunk back, her face pinched at the question. "No! Not like that. It's just… I wasn't sure if you would stay the night."

You tried to backtrack, to soften your question.

"No, no, I know," Lizzie said with a soft smile as she shook off your comment. "I'm not staying. He's… not been visiting."

She let the comment hang before her eyes lit up again and she grabbed your hand.

"Though we both could stay. He's got plenty of rooms and offered refuge for anyone that comes and has a little too much fun."

"I'm not sure…" you looked back at your work and then back to Lizzie.

"Have a little fun once in your life," she goaded. "You're always so serious and proper. Relax a little."

"I guess if it's one night," you said, nervously eyeing your work. You let go of her and resumed typing. Lizzie laughed and got off of the corner of your desk, pointing to you.

"Wear a nice dress," she said. "I'll be in a car to get you this evening. We'll go together. It'll be fun."

You smiled and nodded. It wasn't that you didn't want to have fun. You were just wound up tighter than most. And although you lived in Small Heath your entire life, the Blinders were something you were leery of.

You were used to being overlooked. You were comfortable that way. You weren't looking for attention and definitely didn't want it from men that were known to be dangerous. They might not be violent toward women on the streets but there were plenty of beaten wives behind closed doors in Birmingham and you wanted no part. You cared little for a husband. Your goal was independence.

You took this job to remove yourself from your father's household. After years of him coming back from the factory or more typically The Garrison to beat you and your mother, you finally had enough. After a short time of saving, you bought board at a house and began to save what you could toward your own cottage. These were modern times and you put everything into being a modern woman.

But one night wouldn't hurt your plans, and you had an idea on exactly which dress to wear.

----

You went home a mix between excited and worried. Your head raced with thoughts of who all would come, what would be served, would you catch someone's eye? Did you want to? How many blinders would be mixed into the crowd? Would it be dangerous? What if it was boring?

You smoothed your dress as you looked into the mirror and assessed your reflection. The flowy sage dress was covered in antique gold lace and made you feel divine. The green silk fabric made up the shift and the delicate lace covered the green fabric and your arms with sheer long sleeves. The dress itself stopped halfway up your calves, leaving a little skin and plenty of space to see your simple heels.

You had coveted it the moment you saw it in the window and bought it against your better judgement. One nice thing wouldn't hurt the goal of a cottage, you reasoned at the time. It was the nicest dress you had ever owned and now you had a reason to wear it.

Lizzie arrived in a car outside your building and all but pulled you out of your door when you answered it, laughing as you fought back to close the door behind you.

"Come on, (Y/N)," she laughed. "We can't be late. All the fun will be over."

You giggled as you both stumbled down your stairs and toward the car. You gawked at how short Lizzie's burgundy dress was, nearly above her knee, when you both sat down in the back seat. She smiled slyly as she noticed you look.

"Do you like it?" She asked, pulling on the beading. "I'm told it's the newest fashion in London."

Lizzie's smile fell as you looked between your dress and hers, biting your lip.

"Your dress is gorgeous, too," she said as her smile widened and she dipped her head to meet your eyes. "Tonight's all a bit of fun. There will be all types of people in all types of dress. I bet you anything Shelly will be wearing something scandalous in attempts to gain Arthur's eye."

You both laughed. You nodded as you took her hand.

"Or Mrs. May in something frumpy and terribly sized as she glares at the rest of us," you add, earning new fits of laughter.

"Ladies of this age have no respect for themselves," Lizzie mocked, her voice low and raspy. "You all look like you should be on your back near the canal."

"She would know, wouldn't she?" You snorted. "Acts like no one knew who she was before her marriage. Mum said she used to work the docks. Now she helps the church on Sundays."

Lizzie rolled her eyes.

"I'll never understand women that can't accept their own past," she said.

"That's why I appreciate you," you smiled, bumping her shoulder. "You don't pretend you're something that you're not."

"I'll leave the pretending for the rich folk," she mused as she leaned back on you. "Thank you for not being as judgmental as some of the other girls are."

You shrugged.

"Not my place to judge."

----

The house was massive. You both audibly gasped as you turned into his drive and saw the house at the end of it. There was so much land. The driver entered the circle drive with the other cars, waiting until he reached the peak to stop for a young man to open the door and take Lizzie's hand. Another rounded the car and opened the door for you, tilting his flat cap with a "ma'am" as you allowed him to help you out of the car.

You took his arm with a murmured thanks and he led you to the door. You and Lizzie both stood in the entryway wide-eyed as the chandelier glowed above you. There were already dozens of guests and more poured in behind you. Some were people you knew from work, while others had the signature cap, and even more were strangers dressed in far nicer clothes than yours. You started to grow uneasy in the chaos.

Lizzie took your arm in hers and urged you to move forward, taking two glasses off of a tray and thrusting one into your hands.

"Smile," she laughed, sipping her own drink. "This is a night to relax."

You nod numbly, downing your drink to calm your nerves. You hear Lizzie burst into laughter beside you as the bubbles fill your head.

Soon enough, Thomas Shelby appeared and everyone hushed, turning their attention to the man that had invited them all. He stood in a doorway, smile tight as he tried to scan the room to look at everyone and no one.

"Welcome, everyone, to my humble abode," Tommy said, eliciting chuckles around the room. "Without you, my business partners, family, and employees, I would not have been able to get this far. If you follow me to the dining room, we'll all have a lovely dinner that my new chef made special for tonight. If it's not to taste, well, he's new."

Everyone laughed and clapped as he turned around, leading everyone to a massive dining room that had a table to fit all of the guests.

You held onto Lizzie's arm as you both wandered into the room and sat near the middle of the table near some of the other secretaries that came. As you all sat down, maids rushed in with silver platters, first serving Tommy at the head of the table and slowly spreading plates down the sides to his guests. You thanked her as she placed some sort of chicken meal in front of you.

"Do you think this is Italian or French?" Shelly, who had indeed decided to wear something scandalous, murmured at you.

"I'd imagine Italian," you murmured back.

Arthur stood up from his seat at the opposite end of the table and raised his glass.

"Before we eat, I wanted to raise a glass to my brother," he sounded over the crowd. "For always taking care of us. Now you have something for yourself as well. To Tommy!"

Everyone raised their glasses and toasted before they started in on the food.

The dinner itself was nice and the food was delicious. You talked amongst the other people around you, mostly the secretaries and a few odd people that had intermingled with the girls. You watched the room quietly but tried to keep your head bowed.

"I think the boss is watching you," Shelly hissed at your side as she nudged you. "He looks away in his conversation but looks over to you at times."

"Surely not," you said, taking a drink from your glass and casually looking over to Lizzie and the end of the table. "I'm next to Lizzie. He's just looking at her."

"I know he's not looking at me," she fumed.

"Perhaps you should act less eager," you monotoned. Shelly scoffed and rolled her eyes.

The thought would not leave your head once it was said, and you grew increasingly nervous. As Tommy stood and asked everyone to meet in another room for drinks and celebrating, you rose with everyone else but felt your throat constrict. As you exited the dining room you nudged Lizzie.

"I think I'm going to find a room and take a breath for a moment," you smiled weakly as she looked at you with concern. "I'm fine, really. The crowd is just working my nerves. I'll take a breath and be right out to join you for another drink."

"As long as you're fine," she smiled and patted your hand. "Come find me when you need me."

"Of course," you smiled as you slipped the opposite way of the crowd and opened a random door in the hallway.

You entered what looked like a study room, but twice the size of most that you had seen before. You eyed the library of books to the left of the desk that sat in front of a massive window that overlooked the black night outside.

You took a deep breath and walked toward the bookshelf, running your fingers around the bindings and reading the names. Your nerves started to calm right before you heard the door handle rattle.

Tommy Shelby opened the door to the study and you both froze as you locked eyes. Shock and confusion shadowed his face until he cleared his throat and softly closed the door behind him. He turned back to you with a blank face. You stood frozen beside his bookshelf next to his desk.

"Would you like a whiskey, (Y/N)?" He asked as he rounded the room. "Or have you had plenty already? In vino veritas and all that."

He reached the decant of whiskey across the room from you and brought out two glasses.

"I don't normally drink, Mr. Shelby," you said shakily. "But since you are my host, thank you."

"You don't care for alcohol?" He asked, his back to you as he poured.

"It makes people do stupid things, in my opinion," you answered. "Nemo mortalium omnibus horis sapit."

Tommy froze and sat the decanter down, slowly turning to you with his brows gathered between his eyes.

"What was that?" He said as his head cocked at you.

You shifted uncomfortably as you leaned back on his desk to steady yourself.

"It means: 'Of mortal men, none is wise at all times,'" you breathed out as you mirrored his surprised expression. "Did you quote a language without knowing it?"

He licked his lip as he watched you closely, his expression fading back to neutral. He turned to pick up the glasses and squared his body back to you, leaning on the shelf behind him.

"Latin is old," he said. "I only know a few phrases."

"Perhaps you should know a language before you use it," you said before blushing at your boldness. "Sorry, Mr. Shelby. That was forward."

You watched him fight to keep his expressions under the tranquil stillness of his blank face, but his eyes showed a storm raging in his brain.

"Forward," he agreed, "but not entirely wrong. 'Lupus non timet canem lantrantem.'"

You laughed at his fumbling of words and quieted when you noticed his eyes harden.

"A wolf might not have to fear a barking dog, Mr. Shelby," you said, gathering the courage you felt rising in your chest as you walked to your boss and lifted the glass of whiskey from his hand. "Auribus teneo lupum. But I seem to be holding a wolf by the ears."

You walked back to your spot and leaned on his desk again. You felt his eyes roam your body as you walked back, and it gave you another shot of courage as you sipped the whiskey.

"I didn't know you were a whore, (Y/N)," he said as he took a drink. "And a learned whore at that. Really should be paying you more as a secretary with that on your resume."

"I'm not a whore."

"Then why are you in my office, eh?" he taunted, running his tongue along the edge of his glass. "I was told I had a whore waiting for me tonight. Want to fuck?"

"I'm not that easy, Mr. Shelby."

"You came tonight with Lizzie, didn't you?" He asked. "You share one occupation but not the other?"

"I've never found a need great enough to do so," you scoffed. "Someone left you misinformed."

He chuckled.

"So you don't drink excessively, you aren't a whore -- let me guess, you're also a good girl that doesn't gamble?" Tommy eyed you carefully as he lit a cigarette from his breast pocket and inhaled it. "Catholic?"

"I don't bet on fixed races," you said, lowering your eyes as you said it. "I'm not particularly a believer of God. But from my understanding, neither are you."

"All men find religion between a woman's legs," he retorted, a smile spreading across his face as you squirmed. You hummed acknowledgement as you glared at him.

"Morals don't do well in this company," he mused, watching every twitch of movement you made under his gaze. "The only moral I ask for from my employees is loyalty to me."

"I've managed fine," you said. "Not everyone is made for the thick of your businesses."

"Right you are," he hummed. "Only the ambitious."

"Qui totum vult totum perdit," your voice cut through the air. "He who wants everything loses everything."

Tommy squinted at you as his jaw ticked, taking his time to roll the cigarette across his lips.

"Are you from a rich family, (Y/N)?"

"God no," you barked a laugh. "My father comes home from The Garrison every night. Born and raised in Small Heath, sir."

He visibly relaxed in front of you. His shoulders slouched, but his eyes were still sharp and calculating.

"Call me Tommy," he shrugged 'sir' off like he was removing dust from a coat. "Work is done. You're my guest. So tell me, how did you come about learning latin then, eh?"

"I've used the library since I was small, sir-- Tommy," you shrugged and watched his eyes light up.

He covered the crook of a smile by putting his cigarette back to his mouth for another inhale.

"Small Heath doesn't have a library," he said as he exhaled the smoke, his eyes sharpening as he took a step forward. "Never had the funding."

"I know," you said, biting your lip. "On my free days I walk to Deritend to use their library."

"Quite a walk, isn't it?" He hummed as he took a step closer.

"Yes, but it makes for a nice day," you shifted in place. "I usually use a little money for lunch and stay til dinner."

"Stay all day in a library?" Tommy smiled and ran a finger over his lip before he let out the smoke. "Shouldn't that make you a teacher instead of a typist for a dirty company?"

You flushed but refused to let your head dip, even though you desperately wanted to cower from the man in front of you. He was weighing you. Tommy Shelby was used to people cowering. You wouldn't give him the pleasure. Not after he already tried demeaning you.

"Teaching requires certificates," you said simply. "I only saved money for one, so typing it was. I like to learn. Keeps my brain busy. Besides," your lip curled at the edge, "I was never fond of helping those that didn't want to better themselves."

"Self taught can go far around here," he said more to himself than you. "Whatever your reason for sneaking into my study, how would you like to be a tutor?"

"To you?" Your eyebrow quirked as you stifled your amusement.

"My youngest brother, Finn," Tommy said evenly as he shot you a warning look. "He's getting older and I'd like for him to join the business, but reading has never been his sport. If you can get him up to speed, I'll pay you for the time."

"I'm not sure" you drawled, eyes scanning the office as you tried to quickly think of a way out of the deal.

"The money will be cash, from me," he said, taking another step toward you. He was nearly beside you now. "No need to add it to business expenses or worry about taxes. Just a nice bit of pocket change. You can use it to buy yourself more pretty dresses, eh?"

How eyes dipped to your dress and back to your face. Your eyes widened as your brows dropped and you glared at the man once his words sunk into your bones. You stood up straight and raised your chin.

"Although I appreciate you think this dress is pretty, I have far better ways to spend money, Mr. Shelby," you gritted between your teeth. "I would think the nephew of Polly Gray wouldn't be so flippant with a woman, especially when he's asking her a favor."

"And I would not expect a woman under my employment to backtalk me," he said amused. "What is your goal in life, then, sweetheart? If pretty dresses aren't what you teach yourself Latin for."

You bubbled with anger and fought the words down that wanted to spew from your mouth.

"You may be my employer, but I will find another if you think I'll allow verbal abuse," you said stiffly. "Perhaps you're so polite and quiet in the office because otherwise you would lose your workforce."

He crossed the remaining distance between you in a stride. You leaned back until you were practically sitting on his desk. His face was inches from yours.

"I didn't get to where I am today by being a gentleman when words don't get my way," he growled as he curled his fingers around your neck.

"I know what you are," you said and felt his hand wrap tighter around your throat until it took effort to raise your voice.

"And what is that?"

"You don't seem the type in want of a partner," you whispered as you licked your lips and tried to keep eye contact. "You wouldn't force a girl because you don't need to. This is just to scare me. Because you want to. Because you like it."

Tommy chuckled darkly as his eyes looked from your eyes to your lips.

"Have any latin phrases in your mind now?"

"Dulce periculum," you said. "Danger is sweet."

"That it is, (Y/N)," he said as he caressed your cheek with his other hand. "You can start tutoring Finn tomorrow after your shift. You can use my office if you'd like."

"Yes, Mr. Shelby," you tone as he let go of your neck.

You never knew you could feel so numb but so electric at the same time. Tommy chuckled, lifting your chin until you met his eyes again.

"I said call me Tommy, sweetheart."

Part 2

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby #polly gray #lizzie stark

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tack-tick · 3 years

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Dream SMP Pokémon Take Two!

Basically, a while back I made a list of matching pokemon to SMP members and I decided to redo it! No real lore in this, this is just a list matching pokemon to SMP members and notes on each of them. Nobody shares lives or anything, just ignore the stuff from my previous post. Also no images this time. Also it is very long.

Tommy

Primeape- Chosen because it’s the pokemon that gets so pissed that it dies, which I think fits perfectly. His main pokemon. Nicknamed Clementine. Was imprisoned by Dream from Tommy’s exile until Dream was sent to prison. Has as hot of a temper as it’s trainer.

Miltank- You know, cows. The first Pokemon Tommy got on the SMP. Might be dead but got brought back to life. Didn’t die again because fuck that. Nicknamed Henry.

Linoone- Was hiding out in Techno’s basement when Tommy found it as a Zigzaggon. Was Tommy’s only pokemon for a while because Clementine got taken by Dream when he was exiled. Evolved during the final fight with Dream. Got called Thief by Techno and it responds to that as it’s nickname

Timburr- Saw Tommy building his hotel and wanted to help. His youngest pokemon. Nicknamed Ellie.

They all temporarily stay with Tubbo and Ranboo while Tommy is dead in the prison

Tubbo

Vesiqueen- His main. A strict but reasonable commander to the rest of the team. Raised with Beedrill. Nicknamed Spins

Beedrill- Got caught as a weedle shortly after L’Manberg was founded. Nicknamed Spunz. Tubbo found a mega stone for it and they’re training with Puffy in order to master mega evolution. Serves as co commander along with Spins. More carefree

Alolan Vulpix- Tubbo found it alone in it’s nest shortly after he moved to Snowchester. It didn’t have an family around so Tubbo kept it. Nicknamed Snowball

Koffing- Tubbo found it after he launched his first nuke at the test site. It was eating the radiation and decided to stick with Tubbo in order to get more. Has a tendency to explode at bad times. Nicknamed Nuke.

Ranboo

Chatot- His main Pokémon. Nicknamed Chatterbox. Helps Ranboo remember things by squawking words to him like a parrot. Thought bitch was a common greeting to people at the beginning due to hanging out with Tommy. This resulted in poor Ranboo who was already nervous about meeting Techno and Philza. Then, Chatterbox just flew up, looked them in the eyes, and said “Hello, bitches!” To the embarrassment of Ranboo. Sassy and mouthy, especially to Dream.

Glaceon- Came to Ranboo as an Eevee becasue it noticed that Ranboo had an ice stone in its house it needed to evolve. It got along with Chatterbox so Ranboo took it in. Nicknamed Jonald. One of the calmer pokemon on the server and likes to meditate in the snow

Michael

Torchic- His only pokemon right now. Nicknamed Torchy by Michael. Tubbo and Ranboo’s pokemon are very protective of it. The youngest pokemon to be owned on the server.

Philza

Drampa- Philza’s main Pokémon. Nicknamed Gramps. About as old as Philza is but still plenty strong. You don’t mess with Special attack of 135. Acts as a father figure to pokemon it is friends with.

Honchcrow- Nicknamed Kristin. Philza claims it is named after a person he knows. No one knows who that is though. Has bossy tendencies and loves to be praised

Rookidee- Saw Kristin flying and admired it. Followed it home and came into Philza’s house. Philza thought it had a good amount of determination and decided to train it. Not nicknamed yet because it’s new.

A murder of Murkorws- A horde of Murkrows who follow Kristin’s and Philza’s command. Philza calls them Chat. They come and go. They like to bring shiny things to Philza’s house.

Technoblade

Emboar- Nicknamed Floof, in his offense he was like five when came up with that nickname. His main. Raised it from a Tepig. Calls it Emboar during more serious situations. Very close to Gramps. Just as cocky as Techno is but is also one of the strongest pokemon on the server.

Mudsdale- Nicknamed Carl. Got him as a mudbray soon after he came to the SMP. Evolved right before The Red Festival. Would like to retire but is still willing to fight. Loves to take Techno on fast rides on the snowy plains.

Cubchoo- Got it after he left to the snow biome. It just showed up at his door every day. and wouldn’t leave. So, Techno named it Steve and trained it. Steve got taken hostage by The Butcher Army. Is having trouble evolving but still tries to threaten pokemon that are way bigger/stronger than it is.

Wilbur

Braviary- Nicknamed Hamilton. Wilbur’s main and only pokemon. Technically belonged to Phil after Wilbur died but it disappeared until Doomsday. Came back at Doomsday to defend L’Manberg. Stayed with Ghostbur and then Wilbur again when he came back to life

Ghostbur

Mareep- Nicknamed Friend. Ghostbur’s only pokemon. Belongs to Wilbur since Ghostbur is gone.

Dream

Ditto- Nicknamed Spirit. Dream’s only pokemon becasue he didn’t want too many attachments. Dream wasn’t treating it well after he sent Tommy to exile. It ran away after Dream was sent to prison. The poor thing was found in the woods by Puffy and is staying with her.

Eret

Aegislash- Nicknamed Lancelot. Eret’s main. Has the attitude of a knight. If it could talk, would have a French accent

Serperior- Nicknamed Jade. Heard of this king as a servine and wanted to be a royal. Quickly learned that it wasn’t all glamour. Haughty but has a good heart. Evolved right before Doomsday.

Fomantis- A former friend of Jade who wants do evolve. Eret named it Ruby and took it in. Shy and prefers the quiet. Gets easily startled.

Badboyhalo

Houndoom- Nicknamed Rat. Bad’s main Pokémon. A softy and a bit of a scaredy-cat despite its appearance. Is acting more aggressive than normal after getting possessed by The Egg. Doesn’t have the training to mega evolve.

Exeggcute- Bad saw if after getting possessed by The Egg and immediately took it in because eggs. It doesn’t really care what Bad does as long as it is cared for. Nicknamed Sunny. Not possessed but doesn’t give a crap

Yveltal- Might have a vague connection with Bad? If anything’s gonna be in The Egg it’s this thing. It’s inside The Egg and ready to hatch out.

Skeppy

Sableye- Skeppy’s main. Nicknamed Fluffy. Best friends with Bad’s Rat. Used to be energetic and mischievous with a love of pranks. Got possessed and now is much more mellow and apathetic. Doesn’t have the training to mega evolve

Carbink- Skeppy saved it when he found it lost in the mines. Thinks of itself as Skeppy’s butler to some extent. Used to be a voice of reason to Fluffy and Skeppy. Nicknamed Alfred. Has become apathetic like Fluffy and Skeppy after getting possessed.

Karl

Galarian Rapidash- Karl’s main Pokémon. Nicknamed Socks. It’s mane sometimes turns white due to traveling with Karl. While Karl has tried to leave it behind before it always comes with him. Has a love of exploring. Optimistic.

Xatu- A Pokémon that came to Karl after he started time traveling. Nicknamed Rutabaga. Generally friendly but acts aloof and strange at times. Seems to not like The In Between that much.

Celebi- Only appears to Karl in the In Between and wherever he time travels to. Serves as a kind of guide to him and helps defend him, such as at The Masquerade. Has never appeared to him in the main SMP.

George

Slaking- George’s main. Nicknamed Beckerson. Could be one of the most powerful Pokémon on the server if it bothered to train. Very protective of Glow and Spirit.

Morelull- Gifted to George by DreamXD. Nicknamed Glow. Sleepy and absent minded.

Sam

Rotom- Sam’s main. Nicknamed Pandora. Has the prison named after it. Loves zipping through red stone wires. Can serves as emergency control of The Prison if needed. Sam fears Pandora will get hurt if he tries this so he hasn’t let Pandora do much with the prison’s red stone. Pandora is very disappointed by this.

Midday Lycanrock- Nicknamed Fran. An old stray that Sam found. Can’t fight very well but is very good with emotional support.

Magearna- Built by Sam to protect Tommy and his Pokémon. Nicknamed Nook by Tommy. Naturally protects and supports Tommy. Helps to build the hotel. Is a strong fighter but would much rather talk things out. Motherly to Tommy’s Pokémon.

Sapnap

Pyroar- Sapnap’s main. Nicknamed Mars. Will intimidate other Pokémon by swallowing Magicarp live and in one gulp in front of them. Still sits in Sapnap’s lap sometimes like it’s a Litleo and crushes him every time.

Pangoro- Gained as a Pancham when Sapnap first came to the SMP. Nicknamed Sketchers. Loves to spar with Sapnap and Mars.

They’re both protective of Spirit after it was abandoned

Niki

Alcremie- Niki’s main Pokémon. Ruby swirl with strawberry sweet. Nicknamed Fungi. A sweetheart but can still fight very well. Especially if you’re a dragon type

Floette- Was gifted to Niki by Puffy as an egg. Nicknamed Niki Jr. Delicate and has a love of growing flowers and edible plants. Provides fruits and vegetables for Niki to cook with. Vaguely remembers Puffy but it misses her

Meowth- Nicknamed Shy. Contrary to the name, it’s very energetic and has a love of gold. Stole a ton of golden apples from Techno one time during a syndicate meeting.

Jack Manifold

Magnezone- Jack’s main Pokémon. Nicknamed Godzilla. Tough and helps Jack try to strike Tommy with lighting. Almost always misses. Temporarily stayed with Ant until Jack came back. Hah rhyming!

Golett- Started hanging around Jack after he was revived and Jack caught it because why not? Nicknamed Robo. A bit creepy.

Wobbuffet- Nicknamed Rocket. Found alongside Niki’s Shy. The two of them are very close. A bit unintelligent but it is loyal to it’s friends.

Quackity

Empolean- Quackity’s main. Nicknamed Ossium. Generally fun loving but can show a serious side. Froze Schaltt’s feet to the ground once and still has no regrets. Holds a grudge against Karl for forgetting Quackity.

Ducklett- Was owned by Quackity before he came to the SMP. Nicknamed Chip. Refuses to evolve. Serves as a mascot of sorts for The Casino. Doesn’t get into many fights but is good for scouting.

Sandile- Saw a poster asking for tough bodyguards for the casino and showed up at Quackity’s house. Quackity hopes to evolve it to an insanely tough Krookodile. Nicknamed it Wild Card. Very tough and always looking for a fight.

Ossium and Chip used to be close with Karl and Sapnap’s pokemon but they’ve drifted apart due to circumstances

None of them helped Quackity torture Dream because Quackity didn’t want them to get involved in case it got dangerous

Fundy

Delfox- Fundy’s main. Nicknamed Sally after his mom. Was given to him as a Fennekin by his mom. Tends to have nightmares like Fundy does. Used to look up to Hamilton before it left. Holds a grudge against Wilbur. Loves to do magic tricks with fire.

Munna- Fundy woke up to it floating beside his bed. After freaking out for a little bit, he realized it liked to eat his dreams because of their flavor. Decided to catch it. Nicknamed Leonard or Leo for short. Likes to sleep and sometimes gets blown by the wind too hard and floats away. Helps Fundy sleep.

Nickit- Got caught stealing from Fundy one too many times. Eventually, Fundy noticed it was sick and took care of it. They got along and Fundy decided to take it in. Nicknamed Apples. Still likes to steal just not from Fundy. Thinks of itself as a master thief.

Foolish

Sharpedo- Foolish’s main. Nicknamed King Toad. Very old but still very strong. One of the few Pokémon on the server capable of fully utilizing Mega Evolution.

Cofagrigus- Been with Foolish for as long as King Toad has been. Nicknamed Cleopatra. Married to King Toad. They’re good at battling together.

Tirtouga- A fossil that Foolish revived. Nicknamed Foolish Jr. Still learning how to battle from King Toad and Cleopatra. Feels guilt for being unable to protect Foolish at The Red Banquet.

Kyogre- Foolish also owns The Blue Orb which allows him to have a partnership of sorts with Kyogre. He can use it to attempt to summon it from the seas. Wether Kyogre decides to come or not is basically random.

Puffy

Audino- Puffy’s main. Nicknamed Cottonball. The closest thing to a therapist this server’s gonna get. Can effectively use Mega Evolution and did it at The Red Banquet.

Swirlix- Gifted to Puffy as an egg by Niki. Nicknamed Bubbles. Loves to eat. Misses Niki’s treats

Dhelmise- A Pokémon that mysteriously showed up at Puffy’s house one day. It led her to her old ship. Appears to know more about Puffy’s past than it lets on. Nicknamed Blitz.

Currently has ownership of Spirit after Dream was put in prison.

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ph1lzascrows · 3 years

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What we know from Ranboo’s 1/30/2021 lore stream (the facts)

Ranboo did a 35 minute lore stream today, and now we seem to have even more questions than answers.

Did this I re-watch both BBH’s and Ranboo’s prison visits to compare the experiences? YES.

Did this I make note of every single thing that could have been off or weird between the two streams? YES.

Is the entire fan base confused about what is real and what is fake? ALSO YES.

So, here are the facts. Then we can make theories.

c!Ranboo starts his stream in the Panic Room. The place where he last confronted “the voice of Dream” supposedly getting rid of it for good.

c!Ranboo wants to go visit c!Dream in prison, despite them barely interacting, as some sort of closure to further prove that he has not done bad things. This is a bit strange. These two characters have barely interacted so the fact that c!Ranboo chooses to seek out c!Dream seems out of place.

c!Ranboo mentions being nervous, but not knowing why. He actually mentions this several times, including to c!Sam who even noticed his nervous behaviors and mentioned it directly.

At the Prison entrance, c!Sam takes a very long time to show up after the button is pressed. (He does not appear very quickly during both BBH’s and Tommy’s visit either, but it seems to take even longer for Ranboo’s stream) We do not know if this is intentional or not.

When greeting c!Ranboo, c!Sam sounds way more like his upbeat and friendly self compared to the colder more responsible warden persona he takes on when giving tours to both BBH and Tommy. The difference is night and day.

When going through the portal to enter the prison, c!Ranboo come out of the portal in a warped forest biome, instead of the blackstone and obsidian enclosed portal room we see in both BBH’s and Tommys streams. Fans initially thought that this was because something broke in the portal system, but c!Sam continued with instructions and c!Ranboo entered the prison through the same portal like it was normal. Only the portal location in the nether was changed and was not how it was earlier when BBH visited.

c!Ranboo enters the lobby of the prison from the main portal, and sees c!Sam standing behind the desk across the room. Suddenly we see only Sam’s face, because Ranboo seems to have been teleported to Sam’s location. (Timestamp 14-minutes, 20-seconds-ish in Ranboo’s Vod) Whether this was intentional or a nether portal glitch, we do not know. c!Ranboo has not been able to teleport like an enderman in the past so the quick location change is very strange. It is not really mentioned by either Sam or Ranboo.

Ranboo is allowed to keep his book, despite the extreme emphasis Sam made when telling BBH and Tommy they can bring nothing into the prison.

Throughout the prison procedures c!Sam continues to be kind and friendly to c!Ranboo. He often explains the procedures and different parts of the prison to c!Ranboo, more so than he explains things to both Tommy and BBH in their visits. Whether this is because c!Sam is being friendly and helping to calm c!Ranboo’s nerves or doing it for other reasons is unclear. Some of the explinations are quite specific.

All waivers and books that are signed by visitors and all introduction questions asked are the same for all visits to the prison. All rooms, checkpoints and stages to the prison are the same. (If the theory about c!Ranboo hallucinating the visit is true this is very concerning, because it means c!Ranboo does know the prison, well enough to remember all these parts of it)

-Now to the confrontation bit of the stream-

The item frame for c!Dream’s clock is missing in Ranboo’s stream. This is likely because of the modded texture pack Ranboo has been using to allow for the Nukes to be visible. However, it is still worth mentioning.

Dream immediately greets c!Ranboo and says that he is glad he visited. He states that they talk all the time and are close friends. Ranboo reaffirms that he has barely talked to c!Dream but Dream denies this causing c!Ranboo to confused.

Dream asks why c!Ranboo is acting different. (This could likely be a nod to the “other-state” or “wandering-state” Ranboo mentions several times on stream. He likens it to sleepwalking. This theory is unconfirmed, but I thought it worthy to mention)

Dream starts referring to himself in the third person, exactly like the voice of Dream c!Ranboo hears in his panic room.

In BBH’s stream c!Dream mentions burning several of his books. When BBH looks in his chest several empty slots are in the top row of the chests inventory (where the books Tommy had written in where stored). In Ranboo’s stream the entire chest is filled with books (26 books), all called “DO NOT READ” and filled with similar text, all exactly like his own memory book that he is carrying. The one difference is the addition of a single :) on the first page of every book. In a previous stream c!Ranboo made a point to delete all the markings and notes made by Dream, but now all of the new copies of his memory book have the :) added to them again.

Dream once again says that ‘c!Ranboo has helped c!Dream,’ and that ‘He is not even real’ that ‘He is actually c!Ranboo.’ Dream tells c!Ranboo that the reason he “got rid of the voice” was because c!Dream was put in prison and so it was ‘harder to remember his voice because he stopped talking to him. He used to talk to him every day.’ and that ‘c!Ranboo would help c!Dream do things he asked.’

After declaring once again “I’m not even real” Dream disappears from the cell. There are no particle affects and not notifications that appear in the lower screen when this happens.

Whilst panicking, the screen begins to warp. Suddenly, either the ceiling seems to fall onto Ranboo, or he seems to fall through the floor (the screen is getting really warped and hard to see at this point). Then Ranboo dies, with the death message saying “Ranboo hit the ground too hard.”

Ranboo ends his stream with a similar end graphic to previous lore streams of a black screen with a white smile. This time there is no crown. The crown appears later in a pattern fans immediately knew to be Morse Code. Ranboo confirmed later on his alt twitter, that the coded message at the end was “Not Free Yet.”

Those are the facts, literally what was seen and heard on stream and compared to BBH’s stream which happened earlier that day. If I missed anything or something is incorrect, please notify me so I can add or add to the post.

-Now go ahead and theorize, because god damn did this stream only provide us with more questions and zero answers. Thanks for that, funky enderman boy.-

#Ranboo #ranboo lore #dream smp #dream #dreamwastaken #mcyt #pandoras vault #awesamdude #dream smp lore #dream smp theories #funky enderman boy and smiley green blob really know how to play with our emotions huh?

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seerofmike · 3 years

Text

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee.

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching.

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much.

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons.

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation.

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason.

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this.

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down.

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense.

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact.

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait.

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy.

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO .

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO.

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again.

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly.

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more.

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty.

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate.

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

#apex legends #apex critical #crypto #wattson

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klug · 3 years

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ok im gonna pester you about puyo. i dont know anything about puyo! give me some info on a few of your faves! and where i would start to check out puyo and see what its all about!! >:3c

oh my god THIS IS LIKE SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORKING ON ON THE SIDE... because people do like..write beginner's guides on how to get into the series but the Language Barrier is kind of fucking insane. I've been into it for a long time and even I'm not sure about everything, mostly because a lot of extra materials, esp. older stuff, isn't...actually translated

The TL;DR version of the series' history is that it started as a Japanese dungeon-crawler called"Madou Monogatari" (or Sorcery Saga in English) for like personal computers developed by Compile. Not many of these games are patched into English, but there are a few! Which you can find here. They're actually really fun and super retro so I do recommend checking out the patched stuff. So...since this was successful, the developers made an action-puzzle spin-off, akin to Tetris, of this dungeon crawler which...ended up far, far, far, surpassing the original series' popularity. That was Puyo Puyo.

After some financial mishandlings on Compile's end, the property got bought by SEGA and this is probably where most people recognize it because of the unique art style:

Anyway, it's a puzzle game franchise now with a pretty strong Japanese competitive scene (video is in Japanese but you can get an idea of the gameplay from this)

IMO...knowing where to start is...hard. I started with Puyo Fever, the fifth game in the series, when I was a kid because it was localized outside of Japan. I do recommend this if you want a feel for the series' humor? It's very short! Feels VERY much like a game you'd find in an arcade, right down to the cheesy voice acting.

That said, the actual "first game" in the series is, well, "Puyo Puyo" which was released in 1991. The current "competitive" meta is based on the sequel. And it's been largely unchanged since then.

I think the most beginner-friendly games are as follows:

- Puyo POP for GBA (has an English version)

- Puyo Puyo Fever (has an English version as mentioned above)

- Puyo Puyo Tetris 1 and 2* (these both have English versions and are multiplatform) *I recommend these with some caution, as the title implies these are crossovers between Puyo and Tetris and introduces a lot of characters exclusive to "Tetris" due to copyright. They're continuous with one another (and with the main series imo) but you can watch the story of Tetris 1 on YouTube and pick up Tetris 2 if the spirit moves you. These should all have ROMs available online, at least the first two.

I can't write too much in this post without getting EXTREMELYYYY long-winded and I've already failed at keeping this concise, but you can send me more questions about this LOL it's my favorite series considering that I (try) to help with translating the games with some amazing translators on this blog.

I'll close this off with my favorite characters:

Strange Klug who is my poor little fucking meow meow who is everything to me and I feel bad for her all the time (she's a guy in canon but she is a trans girl in my heart). She's a demon who was sealed in that book to the left of her because of a sick prank someone played on her. She is usually stuck in there, but can be unsealed under the right circumstances (usually by Klug,who is coming up, because of course) She's my...favorite villain. Embarrassingly. Unfortunately her lore has been shelved since her debut in 2015, so any appearances she's made since then are fanservice :"D.

Klug, who is my blog's accursed namesake (as well as my own, sometimes) he's a student who loves dark magic and well...unsealed a demon because he thought it'd bring him power. He's stupid, screechy, does anything to inflate his ego, and is probably one of my favorite characters to think about in the franchise.He hasn't really been relevant for a while and is mostly a background, supporting character, but I still like him lol

And then, not necessarily my favorite but she IS essentially the series mascot: Arle Nadja. She's a 16-year old mage who originated as a protagonist in Madou Monogatari. In those games she crawled through dungeons, fought monsters and devils, fought off Satan multiple times, and is generally just trying to chill with her BFF (bunny friend forever) Carbuncle and find something delicious to eat on their adventures.

She's probably one of my favorite fictional characters Just in General for just subverting a lot of RPG tropes like being a mage rather than a fighter, being a girl (this is a big one), and always managing to fight off her Baited Love Interests (also a big one. acearo Arle ftw) lol. She's toned down a LOT in her current iteration so she comes off as a bit bland, but she's still a fun straight man whenever she gets stuck with her friend group

#inquiries #omg. this ended up being so long.#i'm so sorry if you don't end up reading this but it's fun to talk about why i like the franchise HAHA #anyway. a beginner's guide to the series. maybe sometime. eventually. i'm wroking on organizing it #but there's so many versions of all the games #and it is insanely hard to organize #not to mention the light novels and audio damas #dramas*#so you can see that i have my work like. cut out for me #anyway check out precisemuseum for puyo translations! we're cool

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silverselfshippingchaos · 3 years

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[dorky-self-shipper] 🎫 here’s a gush pass :3 feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers

Oh, my friend!!! Ahhh thank you so much for sending this in!! I have been a bit iffy because some things in my life have been piling up, but!!! I am so excited to dig into this!!! I really need a good gushing session haha!

Today's target for gushing hours with your girl Ash is none other than Yaag Rosch!

This ended up being pretty long, and is a mix of lore, screaming, keyboard smashes, his gorgeous design, and more screaming.

Saying that this man lives in my head rent free is an understatement. He is all I think about it. Honestly, I think it's funny considering Yaag's role in FF13. He's only around in the first game, and shows up in like five cutscenes.

Also. We get crumbs of him in the novels. More on that later. Back to the game.

All he does is "hey yall suck" "your lives don't matter" "uhh i need to kill you guys" "oh wait no i'm not evil" "*dies*"

But!!! He's very cool!! His character is so interesting to me. He's so driven to do whatever it takes, but beneath his actions, there's always an edge of hesitation. He seems like he comes off as so sure of himself, but... I'm not sure about that. Now, I can't say anything for sure because the writers hate him, I really liked those few moments where we get to see his actual thoughts.

For example, "Do you think we want to Purge our own people?!" And things like that where you see him question his orders. I feel like there's a lot of underlying hatred, distrust, and overall fear of the system.

Also, his development from "They aren't people, they're targets." to "I'll trust in your humanity." Gets me every single time.

Also don't get me started on his "if this is my punishment... i accept it." when he's bleeding line.

I am here to gush, not analyze. But both are happening anyway.

I feel as though he puts a lot of thought into what he says and how he acts, and I really do admire that.

For context, Lieutenant Colonel Yaag Rosch is this military higher-up guy. I remember seeing him for the first time and my jaw simply dropping. I know that these games have a history with hot villains. After all, I am an FF7 fan. I have seen the SOLDIERS, I have seen the Turks, I've seen Rufus. They're all hot.

There. I said it.

This intro scene gave us some damn good food. Like??? The silver hair??? The ponytail??? The scar on his forehead??? The overly dramatic speech about how the protagonists need to be eliminated??AJKLFNAWKJFNAWKLJFNWILEN.

(Also, I'm beginning to see the resemblance he has to Felix. I am a very predictable woman, aren't I?)

I am actually going to scream. He’s so handsome!!! His jaw!! His eyes are such a pretty color too!!! I wanna give him a kiss ahhh!! Especially on his forehead scar!!! He's so... woah.

Also, he has a really, really nice voice. Like??? WOW. I want this man to like. narrate my life. Here, lemme find some clips of him talking.

Here. Enjoy.

This one is a fan favorite as well.

It's not a Rick roll. I promise.

..... Unless?

Anyways, as time went on, I realized that he's actually such a deep and interesting character?? He gets done dirty by the writers and the game, but the potential he has makes me so excited!! There's so much material to work off of!!! Truly one of the more interesting villains the trilogy has to offer. Honestly, it's kind of difficult going through the second game knowing that he isn't there.

However, it's also difficult going through the second game because I??? Can't beat?? The goddamn boss fight??? I'm also playing on easy mode. I didn't struggle this much during the first game either. What the hell, Ash.

Back to the actual topic.

I'm gonna start off with his design before we delve into s/i lore and fun tidbits.

(His coat is so cool... Do you think he'd let me wear it? I'd probably waddle around in it because he's pretty tall and I. I am not.

He's around 6'2 (around almost 188 cm..? I think?), but take into account his boots too. Which means that normally he's slightly taller. That means that he's about a foot taller than me. That means that I'm pretty much the perfect height to bury my face in his chest. *screams*)

Talk about a kickass design. He's really cool to look at. Not only, uhm, *blushes*, but because of how cool his outfit is too! It does a really good job of portraying that "heyyy i'm super importtanntttt" energy that he has. He carries himself like he's the shit. And you know what? He is.

He's pretty professional. Minus the times he gets kinda pissed. The novels say, and I quote,

"They said he was the most straitlaced man in PSICOM - if you put serious and stubborn in a military uniform, you'd get Colonel Rosch."

And yeah. That basically sums it up.

Also, there's this scene where he gets all pissed and pulls out his sword and I'm over here like *insert debby ryan hair thing here*. I'm telling you, it's always the sword boys that get me. I'm sure you've noticed that by now. I don't know what it is but. It's a thing.

Oh!!! Oh!!! Speaking of the *tucks hair behind ear*, there's this one scene where he's chasing the protagonists. And he goes, "Clever, aren't you?"

*SCREAMS*

That scene is truly a masterpiece. Thank you for the good food, Squeenix. I remember having to take a moment to just pause and regather myself. Actually, I had to do that the first time I saw him too-

I wasn't alone at the time when he was introduced so I was just silently like "ohmygodhellosir ajrfnaklwenjklwenjklrn" but oh my GOODNESS.

My s/i works with him! She's pretty much his right hand woman. She always has reports and intel on all their missions ready to go! I find it cute how well they work together, be it for mission-related matters, or just when they're relaxing together.

Just like pretty much all of my other s/is, she's a raging academic and total nerd. In the first game, they basically live on this human paradise called Cocoon. It ends up not being so great because the gods want to murder humanity but anyways! Education is pretty much free and you can study whatever you're passionate about. That's why she has studied just so many things.

She's not exactly the type who aspired to join the military, but alas! Things happened. I like to think of it as a "heyyyy y'all needed my help once and then once turned to twice and twice to thrice and then i never left" type thing.

Oh, and then she fell in love with Yaag while she was there.

Her cheery attitude is a direct opposite to his, but they're also able to have some very serious conversations with each other. I love their dynamic so much! Also, he can get a bit softer when he's opening up to her and,,, Soft Yaag??? Hoo boy.

Her motives and beliefs tend to align a bit more with the Cavalry branch, but i feel as though she fits in better with PSICOM. Also, the book describes the soldiers to be a bunch of dumbass dorks and just the thought of her smiling and cracking jokes with all of Yaag's men make me super happy.

Oh and she gets a cool uniform too! Because I said so.

Now, they've known each other for years by the time the end of the first game rolls around. They're happy together, maybe even engaged! It can go one of two ways here. He either dies or he doesn't.

I like adhering really closely to canon with my ships (*laughs in genesis angst*) but I also think it would be a blast if he were to survive.

In the novels after his death, some recordings of his are found. It's basically him talking about how the government sucks from the inside. A character finds these and reveals them to the public to get rid of the old government and an invite a newer one that actually cares about the people. However, it's never quite stated how he got those recordings. And that's where Ash steps in.

She brings them to his attention and helps him out, but then returns to live with the rest of the remaining soldiers in that camp they set up in the second novel. They all look up to her as a leader-type, which I find is really funny because she doesn't exactly have the qualifications? She worked with PSICOM, but was never exactly a soldier. But hey, it's right after the world (quite literally) fell apart, I don't think that anybody cares about that.

Also, there's another chapter where Snow ends up visiting, and she has a friendly chat with him!!! She helped out the protagonists a little bit near the end of the first game, so they have a slight idea of who each other are, but that doesn't exactly change the fact that she fell under the category of villain for a lot of it, despite not actually being a bad person. I also think that their dynamic would be fun. Snow also just makes me really happy LMAO.

I think that this version of Ash is really fun just because of how much the experience hardens her? She spends a lot of time grieving. Also!!! Whether or not she makes a cameo in 13-2 (maybe near the ruins early game?) is totallllyyyy up to you hehe! I think it would be neat for her to talk to the protagonists of that game, especially since Yaag was the one who orchestrated the Purge and at the ruins, there's a huge monument of the names of people who were killed there.

Also, whether or not she has a son here is up to you. I like to think of all my ideas all happening in alternate timelines so everything I want can happen without stepping on other events? I imagine their child to have Yaag's pretty silver hair with Ash's brown eyes.

Also, 13-2 is about time travel so like. The protagonists meeting their child in the future when he's all grown up? Good stuff.

But hey, in the main timeline she's alone after Yaag's death. She helps the other characters. I also think that in time, she does work for the Academy? I mentioned that she's pretty nerdy earlier, so that definitely helps out. She's super cool!!! Such a badass!!!

Now, on the flipside of things, what if he survived? Then what happens? shameless self promo

Yaag still has those recordings, and they do still reach Captain Rygdea. They both live in the small village that the remnants of PSICOM created. It's a sweet life. Are fankids a thing in their future? Yeah, probably.

I feel like Yaag would be a really good dad. I headcanon that he has a very strong relationship with his own father as well. He's caring and stern, but also knows when to turn down the serious scale. The novels also say that he likes kids!?!?!? I know I've screamed about this point like 24892 times on my blog. But.

It's so cute??? Who would expect this super serious and mean man who quite literally says that the protagonists aren't people, they're targets to like children of all things???? It really is my favorite thing ever just because of how cute it is. I also have a few tiny cousins in my family, so him playing with them makes me very soft too.

("Would you please stop tugging on my hair- Ash, this is not a laughing matter!" "Oh, but it so is.")

I think that detail really helps hint at him having a more gentle side? And I adore that.

Also, I mentioned how Snow pays a visit to the PSICOM camp after the events of the first game? I think that would be very interesting with Yaag there because before Yaag dies in canon, Snow says, "Stay alive. We'll see you when it's over."

And now he finally gets to see him. The conversation would get surprisingly deep and definitely dive into Yaag's motives and real thoughts about his actions in the game. I really enjoy the few interactions those two have in the game.

Anyways, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's dig into the meat and potatoes of this ship.

In 13-2, they get a separate dlc side story just to themselves. Because I said so. I'm not sure how the plot of this works, but it's basically them exploring Gran Pulse together. Maybe to map things out? Maybe to get better acquainted with the world they thought was a hell their whole lives? Maybe there's some sort of big mission they have to do? We'll figure it out.

Basically, it's a whole side story of them exploring and kicking monster ass together. The combat is regular 13 combat.

Yaag has his sword along with some explosives (we see him carry some grenades at the end when he blew himself up). And Ash also has a sword because I like swords.

In the game, usually only l'Cie, or magic god slaves, can use magic. However, after the fal'Cie (magic gods) go poof at the end of the end of the first game, some normal humans can use magic? It makes no sense and exists only for plot convenience, but I'm not complaining because it makes my plot easier too.

My point is, Ash can use magic! Because A) she's quirky mage material B) we need a balanced team C) Every single version of Ash so far has been a mage. D) I like magic a lot. Would be my go-to as well.

Also, if you're interested in how they work in battle, roles divide up very nicely between them.

Yaag has: -Commando (physical attacks) -Sentinel (beefy tanks) -Sabuteur (debuffing enemies)

Ash has: -Ravager (magic goes brrr) -Medic (i think you know) -Synergist (buffing allies) -Commando (physical attacks)

Maybe Yaag could get medic too to balance off the load in battle? They're a blast in combat because they really do compliment each other.

Anyways, back to the adventure.

It's the two of them traveling around. The main focus of it is their conversations as they travel. There's a lot of fun banter. Ya know how like when you're walking around in Naughty Dog games and your characters are just chatting? Yeah. That.

Their conversations are super random and they cover pretty much every single topic ever. They go from really serious to them just being stupid. I love their friendly banter.

Also, when they set up camp and are about to sleep, we get to see sleepy Yaag in action. And do you know what that means?

It means we get to see Yaag with his hair done a bit looser, maybe even down!!! Yaag with his hair down is all I want to see. It's what we deserve. It's what we need. The day that I see Yaag with his hair down is the day i achieve true happiness LMAO.

It's what we need.

Ash playing with his hair??? Yes, I most definitely think so.

Oh and there is totally a "Yaag, I'm cold." "Allow me to help remedy that. *pulls her closer*" type moment because they're cute like that.

All in all, their travels are really fun. Maybe somewhere around there they run into the protagonists? Either from the first game or the second game. I think that would be a fun mess.

I feel like Yaag can show a softer side of him around her and that makes me really happy. He deserves to be happy and I love him very much.

I think about him all the time, and just the thought of him holding me makes me so happy. He really is just adorable.

Before I wrap this up, I have a few more things I want to speak about! Firstly, allow me to share one of my favorite pictures of him because oh. my. god.

*screams*

The urge to backhug him!!! Ahh!!! He's so cute!!!! I just wanna hold him aelajflanef.

One of my favorite pre-relationship moments from them is this one time where Yaag is pretty down in the dumps, and Ash is talking to him about it and offering her advice. And as she talks, she gently places a hand over his (they're seated side by side btw). He looks up at her in shock, and she takes back her hand is like, "O-oh! I'm so sorry, I should've asked first, I just thought tha-"

And then he just snatches her hand back and gently holds it. You can see the tips of his ears burning red haha! I think that they're pretty cute ajfwnjklef

She always tries her best to take care of him, too! He needs a hug, and she is more than happy to provide. She always tries to remind him to eat his meals on time and such, even if she can be questionable at following her own advice at times. She can also be a bit of a tease sometimes, so he can get pretty annoyed (not really, he thinks it's cute) sometimes.

However, he also does his best to take care of her. Would he pull the "that's an order." card after she refuses to rest, pulling several late-nighters for work? Yeah. Probably. He's very caring, even if he can come off as very serious and scary sometimes.

To wrap things up, I love Yaag Rosch.

Thank you for your time.

#HOO BOY WE DID IT GUYS #that took a while. but it was a blast. i have a LOT to say about this man #also thank you so so so so much for the ask!! youre the first friend i made in the community and i appreciate you so much #thank you for always being so supportive of me and my ships <3 #he's such a cool character ahh!! i really love him #no brain just him #answered #dorky-self-shipper #anyways writing this post was so much fun!! it's pretty much all i've been doing since i got the ask lmaaooo #thank yoouu!!!!

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aelysianmuse · 3 years

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SUMMARY: Canon-divergence post-Purgatory fic where Benny decides to meddle, make Cas feel appreciated and Dean jealous enough for them to pull their heads out of their asses and get together once and for all. AO3 LINK.

On the first morning back from Purgatory, Benny learns that comfort zones are where Dean fails to thrive.

Without any imminent threat to Castiel, Dean is quick to leave addressing him as his ‘angel’ behind. Instead, he slips right back into the authoritative ‘Cas’. Lingering touches shift into brief pats, and intense stare-offs turn into avoidant glances when the other one’s not looking.

Right at the very end, before the three of them had found the portal, the tensions between Dean and Castiel were so high that, if he’d left them alone for longer than ten minutes, Benny had half-expected to return to them fucking in a tent.

How they’d gone from that to this, in just a matter of days, beats him.

Either way, if he’s learned anything about them throughout these past couple of months, it’s that both of them are idiots in love. They’re wasting their time pining for each other, when they could be spending it together. It’s only Dean who seems to engage these in self-sabotaging behaviors, and right when he’s at the cusp of having everything that he’s ever wanted.

As he watches the two bicker over unwashed dishes, like a married couple does, Benny takes a sip of his coffee and smirks into the mug. He knows he ain’t much, but he’s a solid meddler. If he can get Dean back to feeling like Castiel being here’s not a guaranteed thing, he thinks he can get him to act on his feelings.

“Game on, brotha.”

1. Benny.

Benny’s in the kitchen when he hears them come back from the case.

Sam’s still unhappy that he’s allowed to stay in the Bunker, even if it’s for a couple of days, but Dean was very firm about it not being up for negotiations. They’ve found a compromise in not letting Benny join them on the hunts. Sam doesn’t trust a vamp, and Benny’s alright with that.

“Benny!” Dean’s voice cuts through the Bunker, loud and clear. “We’re back.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He responds from the other room, taking a couple of minutes to join them by the map table.

He’s carrying two cups of hot tea with him, and he walks over to Castiel’s right, placing one cup in front of himself and the other in front of the angel.

Both Dean and Cas seem to be confused at the gesture, and they’re sporting a matching frown to prove it. Okay, so maybe he’s decided to go a bit bold right at the start, but he’s only got a week so he has to skip a couple of steps.

“Dean said somethin’ about you likin’ honey. I found this guy who’s willin’ to deliver me some top-notch raw one, straight from the honeycomb.” Benny explains. “I reckon it should be good.”

The atmosphere in the room feels awkward for a couple of more seconds. Not a sound is to be heard, but for Castiel’s uncertain “Um.” The angel picks up the cup to taste the honey-laced tea, and all eyes seem to be at him.

Benny can sense Dean brimming with nervous energy.

“I know you don’t drink tea, so I figured you wouldn’t want any. But if ya want—“

“No, no. That’s…it’s fine.” Dean finishes instead of him.

“This is very good, Benny. Thank you.” Castiel offers, once he’s done with the tasting.

“Good. That’s good.” Benny responds with a soft smile. “I know nothin’ about honey, but I wanted to do somethin’ nice. Despite our differences, you had my back in there. So. Thank you.” He finishes, making sure that the expressed gratitude holds enough gravity.

Dean shifts uncomfortably from across the table and Castiel gives him one of those soft smiles he’s only ever seen Dean receive, so he counts it a win. Dean takes notice of it as well so he counts it as a double win.

“Anyway—“ Benny goes on to change the subject. Go easy on him, he thinks. He wants to shake Dean up a bit, but has to be careful not to frighten him completely away. “—Did you take care of that vamps’ nest?”

“It was challenging to track them down at first, but once we found them they didn’t put up much of a fight. I don’t expect for any remains of the nest to not taken care of.” Castiel explains, lowering the cup down to the table.

“Nice.” Benny takes a glance at Dean’s disheveled appearance. A cut here and a blooming bruise there, and then he looks at the angel. Castiel looks like he hasn’t even broken a sweat, taking on those vamps. “You look great for someone who’s just taken down a nest.” He points out, directing the observation at Castiel in particular.

It’s quite entertaining, if you ask him, watching the angel squirm. Castiel clears his throat, clearly picking up from Dean that something’s odd about this exchange, and Benny can almost see the gears shifting in his head as he tries to figure out what a proper response to this situation would be. They haven’t been exactly friendly in Purgatory, and Benny’s mostly used whatever time off from killing they had to tease him mercilessly. He figures this newfound gratitude and exchange of pleasantries between them must be weird as heck.

“Ooo-kay.” Dean is the first one to point it out. “I think I’m gonna go get a shower, now.”

“Yeah, alright, man. Cas here can tell me the rest of the details.”

“Cas?” Dean quirks a brow, not addressing the angel, but rather Benny’s usage of the nickname. Instead of acknowledging that there’s something odd about it and responding, Benny dives straight into questioning Castiel about the case until he hears Dean disappear in the background.

2. Dean.

On his way from the shower, Dean feels off. He knows well enough that it’s got something to do with Benny and Cas, but when he tries to rationalize his feelings, he doesn’t really have a reason to feel wrong about their exchange.

Two of his best friends are getting along, Benny’s given up on the teasing, he’s engaging with Cas, they’re having civil conversations and being nice with each other. It’s good. It’s what he wanted all along, right?

He runs the towel through his hair and enters the room, only to find Cas and Benny leaning into each other and laughing over something they’re discussing.

“I don’t remember there being anything that funny about the case.” He blurts out thoughtlessly, and where the hell did that come from? “Unless you’re talking about decapitation. Then I kinda get it.” Dean attempts to recover.

“Nah, brotha. Cas was just telling me his buddy up there –“ Benny points up with his face. “Benjamin, right?” Cas nods to that. “Here I was, thinking the angels are uptight, but turns out they just have a different social custom there. Once you get into it, they actually have a solid sense of humor.”

“It is true, Dean.” Castiel deadpans and Dean finds him endearing for being as socially inept as ever.

“Alright, you two. Wanna share and elaborate, maybe?” Dean asks, hating the way light annoyance tints his voice. Why does he sound like that? Like a—jealous…thing. Person. Whatever.

“It’s not of import.” Cas says. “I never would have brought it up if Benny hadn’t asked what my favorite things about Heaven are.”

Dean feels something squeeze tight around his heart. He’s never even thought of asking him that. He didn’t even know about this Benjamin, who was apparently among Cas’s favorite people. Hell, he’s been so self-centered that he assumed Cas didn’t even have anyone besides them.

He wants to say that Cas’s favorite things can’t be irrelevant, and they aren’t to him, and that he wants to know. Benny’s faster on the draw.

“I beg to differ. If it’s making you smile like that, it’s important.” Benny drawls, and for a good measure presses a brief touch against Cas’s forearm. Dean feels his stomach lurch at the sight.

It’s even worse that Cas looks all shy and grateful for that declaration, and it makes Dean want to jump out of his skin and put at least five feet of distance between them.

Dean must’ve been glaring daggers, because there’s a sudden shift in the way Cas holds himself. Like a reprimanded child, he moves back from where he was leaning into Benny, and looks worriedly at Dean.

Dean pretends not to notice.

“Sam arrived while you were showering. He said he’ll go sort through the archive. I should go and help him.” Cas gets up from the chair and leaves the room somewhat abruptly. Benny doesn’t seem to find anything odd about it. If he does, he’s as good at pretending as Dean.

When they’re left alone, Dean somehow musters up the courage to ask.

“What was that?” he tries to sound casual.

“What was what?” Benny asks, playing dumb. Or maybe he really doesn’t have any idea what Dean’s talking about, and Dean’s embarrassing himself by being paranoid.

“You, being like that. With Cas.”

“Like what, Dean?” Benny asks and leans back into his chair.

“Like…suddenly interested in anecdotes about his life, all thoughtful and appreciative.” Nice, Dean. If it sounded bad in his brain, it sounds even worse coming straight out of his mouth

“You don’t think Cas deserves someone to be thoughtful and appreciate to him?”

“I didn’t say that.” Dean snaps defensively. “You know what, nevermind. I’m gonna go get some rest, my back’s killing me.” Suddenly, he feels twice as tired, his bones twice as weary.

“Sure thing, man.” Benny responds, not pushing. Dean appreciates that, at least.

When he gets into bed, sleep doesn’t come easy.

3. Dean.

When Benny tells him he’s leaving for Louisiana on Sunday, Dean hates himself for feeling relief. He tells himself it’s because his relationship with Sam has become strained due to Dean’s willingness to fraternize with a vampire.

Five more days doesn’t seem that long, until Benny makes sure that it does.

He and Cas seem to be inseparable, and they’re always smiling and doing things.

Benny seems to be right there, all the time. Whatever Cas is doing, he’s itching to offer a hand. Throughout the week, Dean sees them baking together, playing scrabble, discussing lore, watching Our Planet on Netflix…one day he even sees them doing crafts together. Just for fun, Cas says.

On Friday, there’s a Wendigo in Topeka and Cas doesn’t offer to go with him and Sam.

Instead, he asks “Do you need me to join you?” And he phrases it in a way that Dean reads as ‘if it’s not necessary, I’d prefer to stay here, with Benny”.

So, naturally, Dean says “No.” He makes sure not to linger, so he wouldn’t see Cas’s joy upon hearing the words.

It’s nighttime by the time they return to the Bunker, and Benny and Cas are nowhere to be found. Dean makes sure to check the whole place, and if it takes him too long to knock on the doors of either of their bedrooms, no one has to know. No one answers anyway.

He considers texting one of them, and spends at least two hours mulling over the idea, which turns out to be long enough for the pair to come back from wherever they were. Dean hears them speaking in gentle, hushed tones and though a part of him wants to remain hidden behind the wall, so he can listen in on their conversation without being exposed – a stronger part of him propels him forward to interrupt.

“Hey.” He announces himself, and Cas takes a step back from Benny, stopping mid-sentence when he sees him. Dean’s nails dig into his palm. “I was worried about you-” comes right out of his mouth, the honesty and vulnerability of the admission scaring him. “-you didn’t say where you went.”

“Benny wanted to see the planetarium, so he asked if I’d like to come along.” Cas explains, sounding apologetic.

“I happen to know a thing or two about the stars.” Benny chimes in. “Me and my buddies from old nest used to be pirates.”

“You’re a vampirate?” Dean asks, stunned. Benny chuckles.

“Sure, brotha. If that’s how you wanna call it.”

“I learned a lot about the constellations.” Cas joins in and he seems genuinely excited to share this piece of information. Dean thought he already knew everything that’s to know about this universe, so he finds Cas’s claim that he’s learned something new from Benny odd. What if he wants to stroke his ego, what if—

“So you had fun.” Dean clears his throat, barely managing to tear his gaze away from Cas’s. He looks at Benny instead and shuffles his hands around the pockets somewhat awkwardly. He wishes he could be anywhere but here, but also, he thinks if he’s to leave now, something horrible could happen.

Not the ‘someone might die’ kind of horrible, no. Benny wouldn’t hurt Cas, that much he knows. But Benny could…

It’s a different kind of horrible.

“I’m actually pretty wiped.” Benny says instead of responding to Dean’s question, or well, more of a statement. “You two can catch up – I’m gonna go to my room now. And Cas—“

“Yes.” Cas turns to face him.

“Think about my offer. I mean, take your time but…lemme know.” Benny says and leaves it at that.

Cas doesn’t sleep, and that night neither does Dean.

4. Dean.

When Benny leaves, he decides to take the guns out and clean them. Cas decides to keep him company, in silence.

It probably would’ve been a polite thing of Dean to ask more about their little…date, but Dean doesn’t want to know. So he doesn’t ask. And Cas doesn’t tell.

For thirty minutes of muscle memory work, Dean lets this feeling stir within and gnaw at him. It takes him precisely thirty minutes to ask.

“So. Benny made you an offer?”

“He did.” Cas responds, matter-of-factly. He doesn’t seem too keen to elaborate, at least not without Dean’s further prompting. Dean’s far too curious, so he caves in.

“Can I ask what it is?” He sounds vulnerable, even to himself, and he doesn’t like that Cas picks up on it right away.

“He asked me to go with him to Louisiana, on Sunday.”

Dean doesn’t mean to, but he stops dead in his tracks and lowers the gun he’s holding on the table.

“Like…to visit?” Dean asks, unable to form any coherent thought at the moment.

“No.” Cas responds, gaze avoidant, looking down at his lap. He parts his lips, seemingly to offer further explanation, but ultimately decides against it.

The words he doesn’t say speak louder than the ones he does.

Dean swallows the lump in his throat, and he can feel the fear creep up and take roots in his lungs.

“Well, what did you decide?” he dares to ask. He feels anchored to his seat, paralyzed, and at the same time like he’s floating above and looking down at two of them.

“I told him I’d think about it.” Cas admits and Dean wishes he could refrain from reacting, but he flinches at the admission. When Cas does look up at him, he seems to be looking for Dean to say or do something.

But Dean’s left speechless. Because Cas has to think about it. He’s not sure about whether he wants to stay with Dean or leave, and Dean thinks back to ‘I always come when you call. I do everything that you ask.’

He thinks where along the way he’s screwed up so epically that he hasn’t given Cas reason enough to stay, but made him doubt whether this is where he belongs.

And then he looks back at the past week. At how Benny’s greeted Cas in the mornings, made him breakfast and coffee, and asked him about his life; learned things about him that Dean’s never bothered to in all these years. How Benny’s taken time to spend with him, out of the context of their jobs, and made it all about Cas – and how Dean’s never done that.

Of course, Cas thought about leaving. Of course.

“Well.” Dean swallows. “If you think that’s gonna make you happy…then I’m happy for you.”

Dean’s been selfish enough for a lifetime. With Sam, particularly, but everyone else that he’s ever cared about too. He wasn’t going to do that to Cas.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas says, and Dean sees his shoulders sag. Whether in defeat or relief, because Dean’s green-lighted the decision, he can’t tell.

They don’t talk for the rest of the night.

5. Dean.

After hours of tossing and turning, Dean gives up on trying to fall asleep.

He gets up and gets into the car. He drives to the nearest open store to pick up stuff for an apple pie. It’s 4 AM and he’s baking, because it’s the only way to distract himself from the anxiety settling low in his belly.

Dean recognizes Cas’s steps when he hears them, and realizes then that he’s been making the pie with him in mind. The fact that Cas will be gone tomorrow makes it that much harder to face him, so Dean’s quick to scribble ‘For you. Hope you like it.’ on a sticky note. He leaves it by the baked good before Cas can find him.

When he comes back to the Bunker, he’s that much more certain that Cas has decided to leave. He doesn’t run into him until much later into the day, but finds a matching sticky note right where he’s left one.

‘Thank you, Dean. It was wonderful. I appreciate it.’ It reads, and Dean takes a sharp inhale to hold in, certain that if he allows himself to exhale right away he’ll crumble into pieces.

By the time sun goes down, it hits Dean that in less than twelve hours Cas will be gone and that he’s wasted what last precious moments he’s had with him on running. Panic settles deep in his bones when Cas joins him in the room, for the first time of the day.

“Hey, stranger.” He decides to speak up first. “Haven’t seen much of you today.” Or Benny, he thinks.

“Yeah.” Cas makes an attempt at a smile, but it falls flat.

“Were you out with Benny?” Dean tries not to make a big deal out of it.

“No. I don’t really know where he is. I just thought you would want some space, so I took a walk.”

“Why would I need space?” Dean frowns.

“You’ve been avoiding me.” Cas puts it right out there, raw and unfiltered. Should’ve seen that one coming.

“I wasn’t—“ he starts but fails to defend himself because that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Although, not because he needed space. What Dean needed was to come to terms with what was about to happen. He needed to prepare himself because this time he was given an actual notice. A chance to see it coming and get accustomed to it. Other times, when Cas would disappear for days, he usually did so without any warning or explanation, leaving Dean to wonder what had happened. This time, he at least knew. And understood.

“It’s okay, Dean. I know that things are different here than down there.” Cas finishes for him, and he sounds so understanding, so empathetic, and without holding a single grudge against Dean. It’s like he’d take whatever Dean will throw his way, and Dean feels sick.

“What does that mean?” he asks, and sounds defensive about it, but he knows. He may not fully comprehend all that he’s feeling, but he knows some—enough of it, despite having tried so hard and for so long to push it all down.

“I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, Dean. I’m just saying it’s different when we don’t have all kinds of monsters breathing down our necks, and we don’t know if today will be our last day on Earth.”

“What are you talking about? This gig, this life…we never know—“

“You know what I mean.”

Dean’s lips press together, preventing him from speaking any further.

He feels cornered. Cas hasn’t said anything, nothing’s really out there yet, but it kind of is. It’s like they finally acknowledged this elephant in the room between them, with as few words as they could, and Dean doesn’t know how to take a step back from here.

But more importantly, Dean feels ungrateful and he feels like a coward because Cas is right – and he shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t make any difference, this thing.

“I’m going to—“

“Yeah.” Dean gives him a quick nod, seeing Cas drift towards his room after a long moment of shared silence.

6. Cas

Although he doesn’t always understand humans, the things they do, and why they do them, Cas thinks he knows what’s going on here.

When Dean asked him about the answer he’s given to Benny’s offer, Cas doesn’t think he lied when he said he’s thinking about it. ‘Cause he is. He’s been thinking about whether he should stay here, more so than whether he should leave with Benny, ever since the topic came up.

He just failed to mention that when Benny offered, Cas immediately turned him down.

“That’s very generous of you, but I’ll have to politely decline.” He’d said.

“Thought so. Still, I’d like you to think about it for a couple of more days. The offer will stand.” Benny insisted, and Cas listened.

He’s not dumb. He knows what Dean thinks of them. He also knows that’s not what Benny wants from him.

Cas figured that, while initially it was all about pushing Dean to a breaking point and getting him to speak up about his desires, Benny’s intentions transformed. After a while, because he has spent a considerable amount of time with Benny and not all of it was pretending for the sake of provoking Dean, he and Benny did get closer. Although not in a way that Dean thinks, Benny has grown to respect and even like Cas, and he believed that’s at least a part of the reason why he’s asked him to come along.

There’s nothing respectful about the way Cas lets himself be treated, and he knows that.

He sits on the bed of his room in the Bunker, and he thinks how messed up he has to be to know that nothing’s ever going to change, and yet he chooses to stay – hoping that it will. Isn’t that the definition of stupidity?

He considers what it’d be like to allow himself, for once, to seek some finality. To ditch the hope in entirety and make peace with his truth.

If he left, it’d mean that he’s giving himself a chance to move on. He wouldn’t have to wonder anymore/ Wouldn’t feel so helpless, insecure, and stripped down to his very grace every time he’s around Dean. He’d just…know.

He’d make a choice and live with the consequences, whatever they are. It sounds as close to free will as he’ll ever get, and it’s tempting, but it doesn’t feel right.

And if he decides to stray, then what? Does he give himself a time constraint, for how much longer he gets to hope and wait? Or does he accept that regardless of him staying, everything else will remain the same and he’s going to be fine with that?

A knock grips him out of his thoughts, and he pushes himself up from the mattress to open the doors to the bedroom. On the other side, he finds Dean.

“Hey.” Dean says, and Cas doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to the way he gets weaker in the knees when he sees him. Once he started falling, he never stopped. Anna was right – all of these feelings that have found their way into every crevice of his being, they were massively beyond those first human experiences he’s had. Nothing could have warned or prepared him for the sheer intensity of loving Dean.

It was a different kind of pain. One as sweet as tempting, and although one didn’t want to be experiencing it, one was too weak to stop. After having heard about enough human experiences, he thought it was comparable to getting rehabilitation for drug addiction.

“Hello Dean.” He manages, unable to look anywhere but at Dean.

Dean doesn’t say anything after that, and Cas doesn’t really know what this is about, so he waits. And he waits.

And then asks.

“Is there something—“

“Stay.” Dean jumps in, and there’s urgency in the way he lets that word spill over.

“What.”

Cas can see him straighten and push his shoulders back. Dean reels in, the same way that he does when he’s expecting a punch.

Dean licks his lips, taking time to draws a sharp inhale before continuing.

“Look, man—“ he stops, then corrects himself. “—Cas.”

“If leaving…if going with Benny’s what you want, then I’m not going to stop you. But…”

Dean looks like he’s struggling to find the words, and Cas has no intent to rush him. He does feel instinctively drawn to lay a gentle touch on him, to offer comfort and reassurance, but he doesn’t.

He waits.

“If you’re looking for a reason to stay, if you need one – I want you to know that I want you to stay.” Dean says, and he looks like he has so much more to add, and he wants to, but this is as far as he can go. For now.

“Okay.” Cas manages after a while.

“Okay.” Dean nods and lets himself exhale as his shoulders sag further down. “That’s…that’s all I wanted to say.”

They both take one long look at each other after that, and then Dean leaves down the hallway and goes to his room.

7. Dean.

Dean doesn’t want to, but he sleeps soundly through the night. The exhaustion from not having rested properly these past couple of days runs him over. He dreams of nothing.

He wakes up abruptly to the clock reading 10:00 AM. That’s two hours after Benny’s planned departure.

He’s up on his feet before he knows it, running to the common room, as though he could catch up with them if he runs fast enough. There’s nothing rational about the way he’s thinking, but he can’t stop moving, can’t stop—

He gets to the map table and Sam and Cas are there, going through the lore, working on a case.

“Morning.” Sam greets him, brows furrowed in response to Dean’s disheveled looks and panicked appearance. Cas just stands there, trenchcoat on as always, nothing odd about him.

“Where’s Benny?” he asks, heart thundering loud against his chest as he grapples to reach full, sane awareness.

“He left.” Cas is the one to respond this time around, and Dean feels lighter than he has in a while.

“He left?” Dean repeats, dumbfounded. “Why didn’t you wake me up to say goodbye?”

“He said he hasn’t seen you sleep this long from the day he’s met you. Quite frankly, neither have we.” Sam offers. “We decided to let you rest. Besides, he said to tell you it’s not a goodbye – it’s just a see you later.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

“I’ll try to be.” Sam offers.

He’s finally awake enough to make further steps towards the table, and join the two of them in going through the papers scattered across.

“So.” He takes a look at Cas, not yet taking a seat next to them. “You decided to stay.”

“I did. Benny’s offer was nice but this is my home.” Cas pauses for a moment, before adding “It’s where I want to be.”

Dean sees a smile tug on Cas’s lips, and he allows for a matching one to bloom across his own.

“Good. That’s good. I’m glad.” He swallows and breaks the gaze, sitting down to look at the case.

“So get this.” Sam begins. “We have reports of witnesses seeing someone leave the house of the vic, thought they saw pitch-black eyes. Victim is a young male; pathologists say the corpse looks like someone had been gnawing at it…”

“So we’re thinking rugaru?” Dean asks, feeling himself slip into sense of normalcy that he hasn’t even realized to have been missing.

He lets the voices of Sam and Cas carry him through the rest of the case as everything falls back into its place.

#destiel #dean winchester #castiel #benny lafitte #supernatural #destiel fic

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ampleappleamble · 4 years

Text

Hey uh so I'm trying something out. Basically, I wrote a fanfiction detailing my OG Watcher Axa Mala's arrival in the Dyrwood, and if you wanna read it, that would be super cool and good of you ♡ I'm trying to get a more fleshed out, proper voice for Axa, and I figured the best place to start would be... at the start.

Please feel free to leave feedback if you end up reading this; I haven't written anything like this in years and I wanted to try and get my sea legs under me again. I've got a few asks I want to try and answer first, but I would very much like to continue this. Let me know what you think!

No real title yet. I think about possible title candidates literally all day.

---

Pillars of Eternity: An Historical Account of the Life and Exploits of Axa Mala, Watcher of Caed Nua

---

I made a promise.

The little woman sat at the back of the crowded little wagon. Her head lolled on her shoulders and her eyes were closed, but she wasn't asleep-- although she was as close to it as her body and mind would allow.

He made a promise. To me.

Still, sleep refused to take her entirely, and so her thoughts drifted through the haze in her mind like dead leaves floating on a pond, tormenting her. Reminding her of everything she was hoping sleep would allow her to forget for a while.

He lied to me.

The wagon jostled her to and fro, her small frame tossed to and fro against the other passengers. Her burgundy hair hung in loose curls over her face, her long, tapered ears limp against her cheeks.

He... betrayed me.

The stale air in the covered wagon, the stuffy miasma of the breath and body odor of other kith, combined with the wagon's insistent swaying-- it reached her even through her dozing, making her head swim. Soon she began to squirm and groan, started feeling flushed and weak.

He betrayed... us. Both--

...All of us.

Even as another passenger gently gripped her shoulder, asking if she was feeling alright, she found herself unable to fully wake. All of a sudden her whole world was the pounding of her heart, the fever on her brow, the thoughts racing through her foggy, half-sleeping mind, whirling madly, a half-dream almost spoken aloud:

traitor-- promise-- liar-- devotion--

She writhed, trembling, teeth chattering, as a nearby folk man trundled to the front of the wagon, hollering for the caravan master to stop. A dwarf seated by her reached across the gap between them and squeezed her hand gently.

"Hey, there. Come on now, you'll be alright. We'll tell the caravan master to stop for you, and we'll get you taken care of. We little kith have to watch each other's backs, after all." She winked, and the orlan only moaned weakly in response, dazed and frightened.

What do I do now? Without them? ...Him. Am I-- I'm--

And finally, she shuddered violently, waking. Her violet eyes snapped open to stare blearily at her shaking hands in her lap.

I... I feel...

...Oh. Gods.

...I never should have done this. Any of this.

.........Where are we?

The man who'd alerted the driver had returned, looking paler than before. The caravan had stopped, but not because of her.

---

"There." The hired guard gestured toward a large bush bristling with small, pink berries. "Berries Odema told y' 'bout. Let's get y' fixed up, c'mon."

Axa shuffled miserably behind the blond woman, shivering and panting as her cheeks flushed with fever again. It comes and goes, she thought, gritting her pointed teeth, wiping her brow. What in Hel is this malady?

The exertion from fighting off the local fauna wasn't making her condition any easier to bear, and although the caravan master had told her her illness was common and not very severe, it was bad enough to make taking down a single juvenile wolf a struggle. Been in the books too much perhaps, she thought grimly as she caught up to the folk woman. Another favor academia's done me: Now I'm out of shape and out of friends.

As she knelt before the bush, she couldn't help but heave a long, shaky sigh. Well. Maybe I ought to be a bit easier on myself. I've had a... difficult month. And now, this shit on top of it all. Maybe I should find a temple, make a sacrifice to Rymrgand... She tried to laugh, but it came out a weak cough instead.

Calisca side-eyed the little woman as they harvested the berries together, a slight smirk playing on her chapped lips. Maybe it was the orlan's small stature making her resemble a folk child, or maybe it was her stubborn, sulky silence, but she couldn't help but be reminded of her youngest brother. He was a studious, taciturn lad who had yearned to be taken seriously, but always pouted and whined at any little splinter or bruise. Not to say she thought the orlan was faking it, just that she seemed to be acting worse off than she looked. She knew orlans were intense by nature, so maybe she was just being dramatic. After all, she'd flirted with that Aedyre merchant back at camp easily enough.

But when she really thought about it, the fuzzy little redhead had been quiet and withdrawn the whole trip down, ever since they'd rolled out of Ixamitl. None of the other travelers had had much to say about her when asked, other than that she was apparently a former lore college student who seemed content to keep to herself. And Calisca had suffered the Rumbling Rot herself enough times to know that it didn't render a kith this out of sorts. So either she was exaggerating, Odema was talking complete horseshit, or she had something weighing her down besides the fever and chills.

Each answer was as likely as the other, and Calisca's response was the same either way: try and get her talking, lighten her up. Didn't need her bringing the mood down further for the other caravanners, making a bad situation worse. Better to try and make friendly, put her at ease. It'd certainly make this shitshow of a night pass easier.

"People're talkin' about you at camp, like kith will. Word is you're a loremaster from the Plains." Calisca paused her berry picking to glance around, scanning for any movement from the underbrush. "Or somethin' like that anyway. What was it you used to study?"

Axa snorted and winced simultaneously. She could understand and appreciate an attempt at small talk, but the other woman had chosen the worst possible avenue of inquiry. Maybe if she had asked about her love life, that would be worse...

"Loremaster? Hardly. Scholar. ...Of history." The orlan's response was short and clipped, but her voice was deep and rich, clearly accustomed to song and public speaking. Her Ixamitl accent was only partially obfuscated by her easy proficiency in Aedyran. "Well. Linguistics, really. And naturalism. Studying cultures and languages, you know. History is more of a catch-all term..." She gestured vaguely, waving one hand about, dropping half of her harvest in the process. Calisca snorted this time, and she couldn't deny the relief she felt when the little woman laughed along with her instead of getting offended.

"History and language, huh?" The fighter bent down to collect the fallen fruit, a wry grin on her ruddy face. "Come out here to study how we Dyrwoodans been butcherin' Aedyran with our accents and cussin'? ...Truth be told, I might like to read that paper." She rolled her head around on her shoulders, stretching her neck. "Well... maybe have someone read it to me."

"I'm... No, I'm not here on behalf of any college. I'm not here for anyone." She wasn't smiling anymore. Another awkward silence. Calisca was getting ready to just change the topic to something less incendiary when Axa looked away--

just explain before you have to suffer the humiliation of being asked!!

-- and sighed. "I was expelled. I... made a poor choice, trusted someone I shouldn't have, and I was forced out of my community." If the fever hadn't reddened her face, this confession certainly had. The berries bled juice from between her fingers, smashed in her shaking fists. "I lost my academic standing, my career, my... everything. So now I'm here. Because it was this or killing myself, and with my luck that would probably just piss off Berath."

There. That's all. You've said the essentials, you've admitted it out loud, it counts as the truth, and you don't need to say it again if you don't want to. Axa looked at the ground, angry at herself, at her shame, at the tears pricking the corners of her eyes. It wasn't that bad, wasn't that bad, wasn't...

If Calisca was at all shocked by the former scholar's outburst, she hid it well. "Damn rough turn, that," she drawled, shaking her head slowly. "...Well, gods know we've all done shit we ain't proud of. Made moves we've regretted. Important thing's to learn from it. And considering you made a living at it once, you're probably pretty good at learnin'. Ain't that right, scholar?" She tried a heartening smile, and found it came more easily than she'd thought it would. "That's what the Dyrwood's all about. Second chances."

Self-pity and gratitude washed over Axa in equal measure. A complete stranger had to be the one to do it-- a mercenary at that-- but at long last, someone had finally sympathized with her, taken her at her word, and given her a few words of encouragement. How had this taken so long?

"I... yes, I suppose you're right." She wiped her hands on the grass and groped for another berry-laden branch. "I have to admit, it does help to hear someone else actually say it. Academia is infested with egoists who refuse to back down, who never learn from their mistakes. It's refreshing to be reassured by a fellow kith of the universal truth that... we are all fuck-ups from time to time." She grinned. "And that the point of life is to learn. A cool hand on a hot brow." Axa looked up at the other woman. "Thank you, Calisca."

And with that, Calisca finally felt herself relax. Despite the blocked road, the sick passenger, the dangerous ruins, the threatening weather-- despite it all, she had actually managed to get through to this girl and turn a potential shitshow into a manageable little fiasco. Not bad at all. And Odema thinks he pays me more than my work's worth! She chuckled to herself as she turned back to the task at hand.

"So. Have a destination in mind?" She plucked a few more of the riper-looking berries. Her hands moved at a leisurely pace; they were nearly finished already.

"Gilded Vale. Local lord is practically giving away land." Axa picked slowly, too, still groggy and fatigued from fever and chills.

Calisca nodded. "I heard about that. Got a sister in Gilded Vale myself." The mercenary smiled at the thought of Aufra, but her stomach twisted with anxiety when she remembered that letter. She pushed it out of her mind.

"Any idea what you'll be occupying yourself with? Bein' honest, don't know what kinda life a professional book reader might carve out for herself in a little farming community like the Vale." The blonde woman smiled at her to reassure her that she was joking, but Axa was staring into the middle distance and didn't notice.

The orlan woman sighed, long and slow and heavy. "I have... no idea what I'm going to do next," she murmured.

This was not an exaggeration.

---

"Don't trust them! They mean to kill us all!"

It had all happened in a flash. The Glanfathans had appeared out of nowhere, slaughtered the poor travellers, gutted Odema, and Heodan had thought himself Berath's for certain. But he'd hoped against hope that maybe, maybe someone would discover the grisly scene and come charging in to save the day. ...Preferably before he got his throat slit.

He had nearly cried out with relief when he saw Calisca step into the light before him, sword raised high. Almost hadn't noticed the woman at her side, before recognizing her as the sick passenger he'd sold a dagger to not 40 minutes prior. But when the stinking savage holding him hostage responded to the women's presence by pressing his blade to Heodan's throat, he'd been shocked to see that timid, sullen little orlan suddenly leap to his defense.

She had recognized them as Glanfathans, and she had been clever enough to try to mollify them by explicitly stating that they did not disturb the ruins. But her calls for amnesty had fallen on deaf ears, and Heodan had warned her as a last resort. Now the orlan woman stood stock still, her eyes darting around frantically as she puzzled over how best to proceed.

superstition-- passionate-- galawain-- belligerent--

Focus, please. She drew a deep, calming breath.

...They won't be pacified by words alone, it seems. So... time to push our luck.

For a few terrifying moments, Heodan thought she might actually surrender her weapon trying to appease the madman. But instead she stepped forward, lowering her sabre but not relinquishing it. "Tell me, man of Eir Glanfath. Do you truly think your hunter god smiles upon your deeds?" She stared steadily into his eyes, her face an impassive mask. "Protecting these crumbling stones, long after their builders have been reclaimed by the Wheel... seems to run counter to Galawain's tenet of the young and strong overthrowing and replacing the old. Wouldn't you say?" Axa glanced at Heodan, a clear "I'm trying, please hang in there" in her wide, panicky eyes.

The axe at Heodan's throat shifted slightly, the man holding it leaning forward in his fervor to defend his beliefs. Heodan winced against the assault of the man's hot, stinking breath on his cheek, the roar of his raspy voice.

"You know nothing of our ways, estramor! My people have followed the Lord of Beasts for centuries, known of his sacred decrees for longer than your miserable bloodline has stood! Galawain charged my people with the sacred task of safeguarding--"

Oh, horseshit! Don't let him--

"You call this holy work?" Axa cried, gesturing at the bodies surrounding them. "Brutalizing innocent travelers to 'defend' an empty temple? If you believe that, you'd believe anything-- anything so long as it allows you to kill who you please, no matter how helpless." Her eyes bore into the man, disgust and indignance plain on her face. "I see what you really are, coward."

It only lasted a second, but a second was all he needed. The Glanfathan faltered under the woman's verbal assault, and Heodan took full advantage, dropping out of his grip and falling into an evasive roll. He heard the warrior scream with fury, heard Calisca roar a ragged battle cry, heard the orlan woman start chanting...

And after the deed was done, before they could even catch their breath, the bîaŵac was upon them.

---

I know him.

She stood, but only just barely.

How do I know him?

Calisca and Heodan... did not stand. Would not stand again. That man, the masked man--

...He did this.

Oh gods. Oh fuck, I'm in trouble.

She stumbled over the ancient, uneven cobblestones, the fever and chills a distant memory. She could swear she heard voices, and telling them apart from her own jumbled, raving thoughts was becoming more and more difficult.

He did this, he killed them, just like he killed--

...like he

The ghostly image of a woman burning alive on a wooden stake sprung up in front of her, and the little woman fell to her knees, covering her face, screaming--

i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't i can't do this i can't take this please--

-- but when she lowered her shaking hands again, she saw only the grass, the stones, the ruins. Ther pillar and the machine.

Axa made a sound she didn't have a name for, something between a sob and a scream and a bark of crazed laughter. She had honestly believed, when she had woken up this morning, that her life could not possibly get any worse.

...I have to get out of here.

The orlan rose to her feet, slowly, stumbling toward the dirt road leading into the open meadows beyond. The path away from this place.

But she couldn't help looking over her shoulder one last time. At the base of the pillar, where that man

are you prepared, initiate

had stood.

What has he done...? Axa clutched at her head, trembling all over. Her thoughts, it seemed, were still not entirely her own.

What has he done this time...?

She mumbled a prayer to Wael, too exhausted to think anymore, as she slowly started off toward Gilded Vale.

#pillars of eternity #watcher #watcher axa #fanfic #posting this was the most difficult thing i've ever done #mostly because i had to do it on mobile and i fucked it up so then i had to redo it on desktop #i have never posted on desktop before lmao #anyway thanks for reading

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toallthemonstersiveloved · 4 years

Text

Match Made in Tavern - Chapter 1

Ladies and gentlemen, it is finally here! The first chapter of my Goliath fiction. First of all, I just want to say that this is loosely based off a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that I played so some of the lore and setting will be referencing that campaign but you don’t need to know anything about the game to understand the story. Also, I didn’t use a beta reader for this so if anyone would like to be my beta reader, please let me know!

Otherwise please enjoy!

Warnings: Strong Language, implied sex, nsfw in later chapters

2 743 words.

There’s nothing like having to serenade an ancient banshee to terrify one out of their own skin. Lolen was that person currently in the predicament. The act of having to impress a vain, wailing spirit - impressing the cry of death, to put it poetically - was one of the most nerve wracking experiences she has ever faced as an adventuring bard. She was more than happy to have escaped with her life and the lives of her party intact.

The group was now entering the town and were greeted with the merry atmosphere of a travelling festival. Phandalin could use the cheer, considering the amount of problems the party were hired to address.

Lolen was beaming at the thought of ale and some fun of her own. She shuddered at the thought of their most recent escapade and decided that she would need to get considerably drunker to get rid of the memories of the ghostly presence that she needed to persuade.

Skai seemed equally as happy about the arrival of the festival and was already running towards the tavern. Lolen picked up the pace and followed hastily after the excited wizard. Upon entry Lolen absorbed the loud voices of the establishment and the music from a bard on the small stage. Skai was already at the bar, greeting the dwarven owner.

“What festivities are there to look forward to today?” Skai asked, smiling from ear to ear.

The barkeep was filling some tankards for someone else at the bar, “I don’t know about outside, miss, but in here we got some wagering going on. Seeing who can out-drink who. Quite the time if you got coin.”

Lolen huffed as she listened, hoping her high elf companion wasn’t going to blow all her money on some of the drunken patrons in here.

“My friend and I would like to drink against each other.” This is much worse.

“Come on, Skai. You know this is a bad idea.” Lolen tried to warn.

“Nonsense, this will be fun!” Skai got a mischievous glint in her eyes before adding, “Why? You afraid you’ll lose?”

That flipped something in Lolen’s mind. “How much are we wagering?” Skai grinned and placed a gold piece on the bar, the barkeep eyeing it greedily. Lolen gave a curt nod and fished out a gold coin to place on top of Skai’s. The stout man then stuffed the coins in his pocket and began filling up two tankards for the ladies.

“We have a serious quest tomorrow. You sure you still want to do this?” Lolen asked. She knew Skai would say yes, but at least asking her freed Lolen of any guilt with the hangover sure to make itself home in her friends head.

“Of course! This is going to be great, and besides I’ll be right as rain in the morning.” Lolen wasn’t sure about that. She took her tankard and went to sit at a table near a small window. The sun was setting, gracing the sky with a golden glow. As Lolen peered out the window, the barkeep stoop atop another table calling for everyone’s attention.

“Alright! We’ve got some new players at the table. Who’s gonna bet on these lovely lasses?” he allowed the cheers to engulf the room. He then pointed to Skai. “Who’s gonna place their money on the ethereal beauty?” Skai took a bow as she heard a few of the patrons cheer for her. The dwarf began collecting the coin that was being passed his way.

“Next!” He pointed to Lolen, “Who thinks the soldier looking lass is going to win?” There wasn’t any noise unlike there had been for her companion. Lolen smirked. She expected this and was glad she wouldn’t have to split her winnings.

“I’ll bet on her.”

Lolen turned to the voice that raised itself above the murmurs of the crowd. He was a goliath. They were rare this far from the mountains and he was the first one she had seen. He locked eyes with her and gave her a curt nod. She did the same in return and turned to face Skai and the barkeep with a sly smile.

“Right then.” The barkeep cleared his throat, “Let the drinking begin!” He jumped off the table as Lolen and Skai took their seats, drinks in hand. They were both smiling. Skai from her overconfidence and Lolen… from the knowledge that the poor woman had never had a drink in her life.

And so the drinks poured. Lolen was ahead of Skai by 3 tankards, showing no mercy. There were raucous cheers filling the room as Lolen gulped down the last bit of her drink. Skai was breathlessly drinking whatever she could but her belly was full and she didn’t think she could continue pouring ale down her throat.

Skai looked over Lolen, flabbergasted that her friend was downing yet another helping of bitter ale. At that Skai slammed her cup against the table.

“I give up!” There were some grumbling from the crowd, disappointed that their wager had not paid off. The atmosphere remained lively and jovial despite the sore loss of the crowd. They all dispersed, Lolen receiving a few pats on the back from other patrons. She looked at the wizard, who was lying face-down on her arms. Lolen stood and bagan rubbing her back in circles, hoping to comfort and help her companion.

“Are you okay, princess?”

“I’m not a princess.” Skai mumbled.

“Okay, come on” Lolen lifted her up and began dragging her toward the staircase of the tavern. Skai was limp in her arms, which left Lolen carrying a lot of her weight. Once they had finally made it up the stairs, Lolen found an empty room and placed her friend on the bed. She took off her boots and placed a chamber pot nearby, in case Skai felt the need to empty her stomach. For now though, she was passed out and snoring quite peacefully.

Lolen went back to the bar and found the tavern owner. She handed him some coin, “My friend is sleeping in one of the rooms uptairs.”

“No worries lass.” He said as he pocketed the few coins. He then reached behind the bar and placed a pouch in front of her. “Your winnings.”

Lolen nodded in thanks and grabbed the pouch, tying it to a belt under her coat. She then spotted the who had bet on her. He was still drinking alone, indifferent towards the rest of the crowded room.

She may have been able to outdrink her dear friend, but that didn’t mean she was left completely unaffected by the alcohol. So she ordered more ale, grasping her cup and walking toward the gray man. He didn’t pay her any mind until she sat down at his table.

He eyed the elf suspiciously. Their kinds often did not get along so seeing her sit down with him as casually as she did surprised him.

“I just wanted to say thank you for betting on me. It would’ve been quite boring if I was the only one to win.” She stated with a friendly smile.

“Not a problem miss.” Maybe if he was polite she’d leave.

“I’m Lolen. No need for any of that ‘miss’ business.” She took a sip of her ale, expecting him to return with his name. He didn’t.

“And what may I call you, sir?”

“Gorg.”

He answered simply. Still hoping that she would leave and that whole interaction would end soon.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Gorg.” She paused to take a swig of her ale, “So why’d you bet on me and not my friend.”

“You look strong and sturdy. You’re friend looked more delicate.”

Lolen let out a chuckle, catching the man by surprise. It was simply the truth.

“Well, you’re completely right of course. Everyone else saw her sweet face and thought they’d be able to bed her. Turns out the only bed mate she’ll be having tonight is nausea.” She giggled a bit at her own joke.

Gorg smiled at that, taking note of how this elf was treating him. He hadn’t met many, but the ones that he had met steered clear of him. He knew why his people disliked elves but he wasn’t yet sure of the reasoning for the opposite side of things. He was taking in more of her now, noticing her twirling her white hair around her darker finger. She was wearing studded armor but also some more stylish pieces of clothing. She was a bit odd, which was probably why she was being so impartial toward him.

“You look different from other elves I’ve seen.” He stated.

“Yes well in this area, there are a lot of high elves about. I’m a wood elf.” She answered matter of factly.

The man nodded and Lolen took a moment to examine him a bit more closely. He was quite handsome and he was clearly very strong. The man only had a few pieces of armor covering his torso leaving little to the imagination. He was also covered in skin markings from head to toe that was a darker shade of gray than the rest of his skin.

She quickly cleared her throat and her mind, trying to go back to focusing on the conversation. “So what brings you so far from home, Gorg?”

He shrugged, “Just looking for some adventure, I guess.”

“And have you found any?”

He crossed his arms on the table.

“A little bit here and there, but nothing worth tales told by the bards.”

“Is that so?” She asked with a smile playing on her lips, “Well, you’re in luck. I just so happen to be a bard myself so I think I’ll be making the decision of whether your tales are worth telling.”

He was smiling a bit more, a bit more enthused by their conversation. “Really? You don’t look like a bard.”

Lolen playfully gasped, “And why not?”

“Well, you look more like a fighter or soldier of some kind. You don’t look as dainty as other bards I’ve seen.”

“That’s just because I am much more skilled in combat.” She answered, throwing a few punches in the air. “I used to be a soldier after all.”

“So why’d you become a bard?” He searched her green eyes for the answer.

“I got tired of it, I guess.” she ran her hand through her hair, “The world of constant fighting is not as fun as it may seem.”

“So you moved on from that and decided to go into music instead?”

“Is that so hard to believe?” She scoffed.

“No, just a rather large jump.” He commented.

“It is.” She stated, taking a large gulp of her drink.

Lolen was looking at him again. His face seemed kinder and softer then, and she noticed his blue-gray eyes. They looked like rain clouds. She was very comfortable in his company and was beginning to hope she could continue to speak to him for the rest of the evening. Her slightly dazed state may have had something to do with this as she had finished off her ale.

Lolen had suddenly sat upright with wide, excited eyes. “I just had an amazing idea! You should come with us on our next quest!”

Gorg was surprised by her invitation, “Why?”

“You’re seeking adventure right? My party has been on quite the adventure so far, plus you’ll have your resident bard to sing your praises whenever the opportunity presents itself.” She shimmied her shoulders at that, displaying her pride.

Gorg remained silent, furrowing his brows.

“Plus,” he heard from the woman, who was now looking into his eyes quite intently, “it would be nice to have you around.”

He felt something in his chest then. A thump that hit out of it’s regular rhythm. He saw the contrast of her hair against her skin and her genuine smile, taking note of how unique it was. He wasn’t quite sure if he’d define it as beautiful. It was certainly alluring but he’d need time to decide on her beauty. Her offer was equally alluring as she was. He would be able to join an adventuring party and they may even become legend due to her being a bard. He thought of all the possible challenges that lie ahead and how he could improve himself through this experience. He looked into her green eyes, also thinking of how he could impress the lady before him, who was not only a good sport in competition but also friendly and kind.

“I think it’s a good idea.” He concluded.

She beamed at his decisions, possibly a bit too much for a stranger. Lolen couldn’t help but be giddy at having this large and lovely man around all the time. She was sure he’d be a great asset to the team as well as a pleasant change of company.

“Wonderful! I will inform my friends in the morning, for now let’s celebrate!” She hopped over to the bar and grabbed two more tankards of ale. Gorg heard her yell, “and keep them coming!” to the barkeep with a bout of laughter at the end before sitting back down.

She placed his drink in front of him and lifted her cup in a toast. He raised his as well, noticing that she was still smiling.

“To adventure.” she said and clinked her cup against his, beginning to drink again. He was drinking but not just the ale. He was also swallowing her energy and joy, among other things.

The night would certainly be one to remember.

Rays of sunlight was cast over Lolen’s face. She squinted at the light, feeling it split her skull. Her tongue was sticking to her palette and her body felt like she was in some kind of massive brawl the night before. She currently had no memories and was too busy trying to fight the sun with her eyelids to care. She rolled over in an attempt to escape the sun. What kind of Inn keeps stones in the beds? She thought, as her body connected with something hard…and warm. Why were the stones warm? Lolen squinted see what the source of her discomfort was. Her eyes widened as the realization hit her and she bolted to the edge of the bed.

Her eyes were roaming across a gray-skinned figure. Armor on the floor. Under the blanket? No clothes. She pulled the blanket over her head and squirmed letting out a frustrated groan. She had slept with Gorg. Of fucking course! She felt the body shift next to her, and peaked her head over the blankets edge.

“Good morning” He said with a satisfied smile on his drowsy face. She covered her face again with another groan. At this point she wasn’t even upset that it had happened. Seeing his face again just made her so disappointed that she forgot it.

#exophilia #exophile #dnd #goliath #goliath dnd #Goliath Barbarian #elf x goliath #Dungeons and Dragons #romance #slow burn #wood elf #wood elf bard #monster lover #monster boyfriend #monster fucker #goliath boyfriend #fantasy

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pilferingapples · 4 years

Text

TMA S2 Natter I guess!!

LORE LORE LORE LORE WHOOO

under the cut for massive major spoilers of course

- I’m really glad I’m binging this, it helps me remember things to have a big chunk of story and lots to pick up on all stacked together and reinforcing itself. I still have to check and double check the Fan Wiki for names here and there, when I hear someone I KNOW I recognize from earlier; I’ve inevitably run across some spoilers that way, thanks to the structure of the wiki, so I’m really glad I’m needing to do that less and less as the show goes on; I don’t think I had to check anything in the last ten episodes, thought I did still have to go to the wiki to get links to the Transcripts, because

- I find the tunnel-echo effects make the dialogue pretty unparseable no matter how loud I have the show, unfortunately. I could understand Michael,and not much else. (I mean,I could understand Michael’s voice, the Spiral’s motives and all are fairly opaque to me still.) The voices and acting lend so much ambiance, I would have been happy to watch along on the YT vid with subtitles , but it doesn’t have subtitles? Frustrating, but I do really appreciate there being transcripts!

- Michael makes me really, really sad. He was just a kid who stayed out in the rain a second too late! It wasn’t even his idea! And he got Marked and he lost his whole damn life to this thing before he was even old enough to have a good grasp on what reality is in the normal swing of things. Poor kid. Poor Michael-that-should-have-been. (ETA so I don’t answer this multiple times: I’m aware Lightning-and-Tower Michael might not be Hallways and Hands Michael, but this is just name-association, really. Also, there’s a growing horror in S2 in finding so many people who seemed to escape their encounters showing up again in much worse shape in other Statements...)

- Thanks to Tumblr Osmosis , I’m sure the Endgame OTP (at least so far) in Jon/Martin, and while I’m currently not a fan of that (though totally prepared to change my mind according to character/relationship development!) I am delighted to be able to enjoy Jon and Basira’s relationship without worrying that her character is going to be suddenly smashed flat to make her The Love Interest. I love their weird uneasy alliance! I hope she comes back but also hope she goes somewhere Far Away and lives Ordinarily Ever After.

-on that note, Daisy Daisy Daisy bring back Daisy, I don’t usually get into cop characters but WEIRD CRYPTID FORCE COPS are apparently a potential weakness for me (..also I know, I know they are probably Hunt-aligned. I’ve already said I’m unfortunately Weak for The Hunt ).

-I miss Actual!Sasha >:

- Tim is seriously the only person in this whole damn institute with any self preservation either supernatural or normal?? “Yeah you’re right I don’t like the boss who stalks me and keeps secrets about a situation which is directly about my own personal safety like I was the enemy and takes his trauma out on me directly while I’m recovering from,in this case , exactly the same trauma thanks “

Martin: Wow Tim you’re so selfish, how can you even think about fleeing our supernatural hellscape, why aren’t you more concerned with the guy who is very overtly considering you a potential enemy and crossing all boundaries in a way that, in any normal job, would right off be enough to get HR and maybe the cops involved? WHY ARE YOU BEING SO UNREASONABLE, TIM??...Now excuse me while I run to my probable death with no preparation in defense of a guy who seems to go out of his way to hit my very obvious emotional weak points and considered me so useless he thought I might be dead already, because unlike you I am making good decisions!!! LEEEROY JENKINNNSSSSS”

-honestly the apparent connection between why the Institute/Elias accepted Martin as sacrifice an employee and Martin’s emotional Everything is both screamingly apparent and worth an essay all on its own , that’s some Good Charactering

-I never trusted Elia-- Never Trust the Boss Of Shadowy Organization With Mysterious Backers, that’s my motto-- but HE KILLED THE INFODUMP SOURCE. HOW DARE. INSTANT LEAST FAVE.

- I KNEW LEITNER WAS A RESEARCHER I KNEW IT I KNEW IT, who has a vast occult library BUT never really figures in any accounts of actually DOING anything?? AN OCCULT NERD DOING RESEARCH. (I say, well aware that *I* did not do my research as fully as I’d like here, to avoid spoilers, and thus may be forgetting a Big Thing he apparently did)

- I did NOT know he was still alive?? and totally didn’t see him working with Gertrude (it was actually Gert’s Occult Book Hunting that made me slap my head and go OH RIGHT about Leitner!)

-I want to know more about Gertrude

- The OH NO moment I had during Leitner’s description of obvious multiple entities working together to just wreck his shop!! BAD, BAD, THE INJUSTICE LEAGUE OF AAAAAH IS BAD

- also now I know for sure that the Web and the Stranger are enemies? this puts at least 2/3 Fear Entities that could, I am aware , pretty much have me as a pawn for a cheap ice-cream cone allied against the one Entity that makes me absolutely go into Screaming Phobia Murder Mode, I don’t know if everyone’s feeling the same way or if this is just the show happening to find my particular keys like that

-...listen Elias is THE WORRRRSSSST and I am sure The Institute is Not Good but if The Stranger existed and was A Thing like this then they wouldn’t have to Play me to get my assistance on taking it out , every single episode about it makes me go Mad Raccoon in A Box , I want it gone, the enemy of the Stranger is my ...slightly less enemy

-Jonnycakes Sims is the Avatar of the Human Trainwreck, but I did not realize until this episode that he does not drink coffee?? I’m torn between thinking he should and thinking all caffeine should be taken away from him forever.

-Also, Dammit, Jonet, this “keeping info about supernatural horror schemes from my team For Their Own Good” nonsense? BAD , you are not a Victorian patriarch and they are not your children, GIVE THEM A FIGHTING CHANCE YOU GOOBER, DID YOU EVER READ ONE GOTHIC NOVEL, IGNORANCE IS DEATH

- ..HOW DID YOU DECIDE TO SMASH THE TABLE YOU. GOOBER PIE. I take it back, definitely Jonny needs to drink all the more caffeine.

--in conclusion, ELIAS TOOK MY LORE HOOKUP AND HE MUST PAY FOR HIS CRIMES.

(Supplemental:P)

I'm getting the impression, from responses to my earlier little post, that people don't? like Tim ?? and I am Afraid this means he is Something Horrible?? but he's fun and friendly and smart and reacting like a human with normal human self-preservation instincts + a touch of Heroic honestly?? why do people not like Tim, is he a secret Horror, NO DON'T ACTUALLY TELL ME but D: NERVOUS NOW

#TMA natter #long post sorry #also not particularly focused I'm tired and wanting to hear S3 XD

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