#illogical

[icycoldninja]

here is an idea: DMC 3 Dante x Fem hunter reader where they are dating/demon hunting partners, she falls pregnant and dose not know until when she is on a mission and she goes into labor meaning her BF (Dante) needs to deliver there baby and comfert her (example: calling her a good girl and praising her) away from the demons

OK first of all let me just say something real quick--there is physically, scientifically, and biologically no way you can get pregnant and be completely oblivious about it until labor. What about missing your period? What about hormonal and weight changes? What about pains, aches, and cramps? What about the extremely noticeable tummy growth? This whole thing is gonna be ridiculously illogical, but I'll still do it. Enjoy. 💜

Sudden labor (DMC3! Dante X Fem!Pregnant!Reader)

You and Dante had been dating for a few years now, being loyal partners both in regards to your relationship and to your job. You hunted demons together by day and passionately made love to one another by night.

One day you two sent out together on a mission to exterminate a massive clan of demons that had taken a liking to a particular forest not too far from a moderately populated city. You and Dante were doing just fine at first, relentlessly chopping down and shooting holes through creatures without end. Everything was going perfectly well, until suddenly, you felt a sudden and sharp pain shoot through your stomach. It wasn't a stomachache, it wasn't period cramps, it wasn't like anything you'd ever experienced before. It was so painful, it brought you to your knees. You dropped your weapons, collapsing onto the ground, crying out in pain. Dante heard you, and fearing that you'd gotten attacked, rushed to your side in an instant.

"Babe, what's going on? You alright?" He asked, worriedly.

"I--I don't know! It hurts...everything hurts!" You suddenly became aware of something runny trickling down your legs, and you looked down, only to find a mixture of blood and other fluids leaking out of your privates. "What the hell?!" You shrieked, fearfully. "What's happening to me?!"

"It looks like you're in labor!" Dante screamed. "How did--?! What--?! How the hell is this possible?! How come we didn't realize you were pregnant before?!"

"I don't know!" You replied, panting heavily. "What do we do?!" Dante answered you by scooping you up and carrying you to a location far, far away from the (slowly dying) demons and carefully set you on the ground. After removing your bottoms and taking a quick glance at your contracting vagina, he realized there was no time to get you to a hospital. You'd have to give birth here.

"OK," Dante began, taking deep breaths. "Uhh...push. Yeah, push. That's how you deliver a baby, right? Push!" You nodded, and though the pain was intense, you grit your teeth and pushed through as hard as you could.

"Good job," Dante encouraged, patting your shoulder with trembling hands. "You're doing great. Keep going. Stay strong. You're ok. Good girl--you're doing alright. Keep pushing." You could tell by his frantic, stammering speech that Dante was just as terrified and anxious as you were, given the sudden nature of all this, but he did his best to stay calm and collected so you could have someone to lean on.

Confused, frightened, and in so much pain, you continued pushing hard, and eventually heard a hollow pop, followed by a small cry.

"Oh my God!" Dante shouted, diving down to scoop up the baby that had just slid out of your uterus. "You did it, babe! You--you gave birth! You gave birth!" You let out an exhausted chuckle, flopping back against the ground with a sigh. Your newborn baby cried and failed about in Dante's arms, making him smile. Even though it was under really strange circumstances, you two now had a baby! Hooray!

"Is...is it a boy or a girl?" You asked, gratefully sucking in deep breaths of air.

"Y'know what?" Dante replied, sounding unsure. "I have no freaking clue. Let's go to the hospital and ask the doctors."

#Dmc #Dmc3 #Devil may cry #Devil may cry 3 #Dmc dante #Dmc3 dante #Devil may cry dante #Devil may cry 3 dante #dante x reader #dmc dante x reader #dmc3 dante x reader #devil may cry dante x reader #Devil may cry 3 dante x reader #Ridiculous #Fanfic #Kinda fluff #Giving birth fanfic #Illogical #But whatever #Requested #thanks for requesting #icycoldninja writes #This is so goofy #humorous

[cukerka32]

Illogical

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #maccadam #shockwave #tfp shockwave #Shockwave's bazonkers #Booba scientist #illogical

[cryptidkitteh]

Transformers ms paint cause clip studio looks too scary to draw on rn asdfghjk

#shockwave #transformers #shockwavetransformers #shockwave transformers #transformers g1 #g1 #shockwave g1 #pewpew #illogical #artblock

[donnatroyprincessofthemyscira]

#illogical #Truth #Fact #Star Trek #Spock #Leonard Nimoy

[pratchettquotes]

"You mean that if you do overtime you have to do more overtime to pay for it?" said Moist, still pondering how illogical logical thinking can be if a big enough committee is doing it.

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

#moist von lipwig #making money #discworld #terry pratchett #the mint #money #overtime #policies #business #logical #illogical #committees #group think #still pondering #how illogical logical thinking can be

[newborntransformersfan]

#transformers #transformers prime #tfp #shockwave #transformers shockwave #transformers incorrect quotes #illogical #my posts

[imagine-darksiders]

It's very interesting to see what societal pressure will do to a person. 6 days into isolation and I'm going stir-crazy because I'm not doing anything that 'contributes to society.'

I hate this, I want to play video games without guilt again.

#rant #illogical #Covid

[freydpaladin]

Hello people! So here's my first post for Tumblr (hooray!) and of course I've gone and added a poll which I have no idea how to remove. I swear, only I could do something like this ':) But, on another note, here is a humanised (do you spell that with a 'z' or an 's'...?) Shockwave from Transformers Animated, my favourite Transformers show. Wow, I really wish there'd been a fourth season of it.

#transformers #tfa #tfa humanformers #decepticons #transform and rise up #why is that not a tag #help #autobots #transformers shockwave #shockwave #humanformers #i cant draw robots #hence the humanformers #illogical #transformers animated #purple #art #my art #artists on tumblr #traditional art #traditional drawing #pen and ink #pen and paper #tall boi #maccadam

[aunti-christ-ine]

How can an entity with total foresight regret anything?

#GoodGod @HarryMargulies

#sunday sermon #bible #verse #genesis #mythical #illogical #think for yourself #question everything

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

Imagine a person who comes in here tonight and argues 'no air exists' but continues to breathe air while he argues. Now intellectually, atheists continue to breathe - they continue to use reason and draw scientific conclusions [which assumes an orderly universe], to make moral judgments [which assumes absolute values] - but the atheistic view of things would in theory make such 'breathing' impossible. They are breathing God's air all the time they are arguing against him.

Greg L. Bahnsen

#atheism #illogical #moral judgments #argument #Greg L. Bahnsen #Christian Quotes

[diocletion-aint-shit]

This is my new favorite comic line. Vulcans say trans rights

#transgender #star trek #vulcan #illogical #gender #queer #trans rights

[art-of-mathematics]

.... when all parts are working against each other... huh. Following the depicted logic of the gears this explains why many education systems are so desastrous...

#outdated education system #education #ed #education system #illogical #gears

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

And obviously so.

#christianity #bible #bible study #bible stories #illogical #immoral #bible morality #immoral bible #childish #childish superstitions #fiction #bible fables #bad fiction #religion #religion is a mental illness

[veleci]

Dude tested all the metal bars in that cell like the velociraptors from Jurassic Park with the electric fences

#james t kirk #k/s #space husbands #spock #star trek #tos #star trek the original series #kirk x spock #jurassic park #yeah totally will one of that bars break in two my friend #acting a bit illogical in the face that his boyfriend is in danger #illogical #t'hy'la

[thedurassisterspod]

Tuvok throwing the ultimate shade 

#tuvok #star trek voyager #star trek #burn #sick burn #funny #most illogical #vulcan #illogical

[mugoki]

06.02.2024

Grandpa, frail and shaky of age: I'm going to kill that doctor that took away my driver's license.

Me: But your driving wasn't good anymore. You almost caused several accidents, remember?

Grandpa: He ruined my life.

Me: It's for your own safety.

Grandpa: I'm going to drag him out in the woods and beat him up...

Me: How are you going to do that? You can barely walk or open a door?

Grandpa: Listen to me. You look up his address on that interweb of yours. You drive me to his place and I go up to his door and beat him.

Me: It won't get your license back, things don't work that way.

Grandpa, with his tremors: It will when I'm done with him.

Me: Well I don't want to drive you around just so you can argue with a doctor who just did his job.

Grandpa: I'll kill him.

Me: Do you even know his name?

Grandpa: I remember his face.

Me: .. okay?

Grandpa: I'll drag him into the woods. But you have to do the driving.

Me: I don't even know how to drive, grandpa.

Grandpa:

Me:

Grandpa: I'll punch him right in the face.

Me:

#sure jan #my grandpa used to be a violent bully #karma is catching up #illogical #personal #me #journal #draft