#im just going to not talk about anything i genuinely care about or invested in around him bc since childhood he has shown over and over tha

[bloggirl8842]

Being me is so embarrassing like wahhh I’m Niku I’ve had a crush on the same guy for years I’m a painter I don’t believe in myself my dad’s an asshole wahhh girl pleaseee get something else going on 😭

#my dad IS an asshole we were lookinng at my blood test results and my hemoglobin n shit is low bc of anemia and he remarked that my cells #are physically smaller than theyre supposed to be and i went ‘’oh that must be why i feel sick all the time’’ and he goes ‘’you dont feel #sick ALL the TIME.’’ and my moms like yea she feels tired and weak and i go yes and i also get nauseous and he goes you get nauseous ALL th #TIME? and im like no i get nauseous often. why do i have to justify this to you youve SEEN ME feeling ill #and hes looking at my test tesults on my phone so when hes done i snatch it out of his hand and leave and he whines to my mom and #exaggerates the way i took it back. fucking sick of him #i genuinely dont have much affection for him he thinks hes better than all of us. characterizes my brother as a hustler and my mom & i as #disappointments #im just going to not talk about anything i genuinely care about or invested in around him bc since childhood he has shown over and over tha #the only viewpoint he cares about is his own. and its my fault that i keep trying to fucking connect with such a brick wall of a man #today though i showed him an in progress painting and asked him if he liked it and he said he wouldnt know til it was done.. i DO support #that he was right for that. i cant ask for ppl to like my shit b4 its finished bc then ill never finish it!

[prettyboykatsuki]

oliver talking his partner through it and calling him d**** god your brain is so huge my stomach hurts thinking about this. he’ll never tell you he loves you to your face and tries to fuck you more like he hates you because he doesn’t want to get too attached but as you’re getting close he’s all in your face and your neck, teasing you, biting your ear and softly begging you to tell him how you feel, how it’ll be better for him if you tell d**** just how close you are and how much you need him. takes you over the crest so sweetly, and continues rolling into you, chasing his own. his kisses are nonstop and so overwhelming, and he knows they are but he just really needs to connect with you like this. never the first to say “i love you” but unfortunately (in his opinion) he expresses it in so many other ways. sorry.

but i crumble completely when you cry | a. oliver

✮ tags ; DADDY KINK, afab + fem!reader, situationship!oliver, hooking up, unresolved romantic tension, p in v, praise, soft sex, it gets emotionally strange, riding, creampies, unprotected sex, under-negotiated kink in a sense though oliver is very careful

✮ wc ; 2.2k (i dont want to talk about it)

✮ a/n ; anon im going to haunt your dreams for putting this absurd image into my head when i dont even go here im crying screaming throwing up ive been thinking about it for hours. hours of my life wasted on this guys dick. upsetting!!!!!

also i do not write this often and do not plan too again any time soon so if ur seeing this and thinking about following me for content like it i would not recommend!!!

✮ synopsis ; you don't trust oliver with your heart or your feelings. nor do you expect anything from him.

but it's hard not to lean into him when he decides to cradle you so gently.

Your relationship with Oliver is both very ambiguous and very clear.

There's a line drawn, and you both steer clear of crossing it in your interactions. Oliver is fun. He's attractive and charming, a massive flirt but just genuine enough to be interesting.

It helps that he's hot. Physically, he's got an unreal build.

He's an athlete, so he's big. Wide chest and strong arms, thick thighs and the height to top it off. He's 6'3, and he's sexy (and his dick is huge) - and you sleep with him because of that. You don't date him explicitly because he's a womanizer. If you'd met when you were a little younger, a little more naive - you might've tried to dog-train him into being your boyfriend.

Because on top of the immaculate dick, he's fun to be around. He's funny, he drinks well, he's not a scumbag in the ways that turn you off.

You're old enough to know better. You have a career. You're too busy, and too jaded about love to try and fix whatever weird shit he has going on. So even if the two of you harbor some sort of emotional or romantic feelings for each other, you're smart enough to not get invested in those feelings and smart enough to have no expectations.

Oliver is your fun. He's your sneaky link, your weekend off. You come to him to blow off steam. You have rough, fast sex and it's good. Sometimes you chill afterwards, and you'll indulge each other in some physical affection but other times you take your shower and leave. It's a good time, and you know well enough not to ever ask him for any of your emotional needs. You have your therapist and girl friends for that.

Normally, when you're having a rough week - it's prime time to go to him. He'll fuck you a little harder than usual, and sometimes he's nice enough to kiss it better. But it's still, very distinctly, never crossing that boundary.

But some weeks, like this week - shit is bad. Not just stressful bad, but everything in the fucking world that could go wrong, is going wrong bad. It's not the kind of thing you can get over by compartmentalizing and even when you try to do your usual thing it doesn't really work.

You're trying right now - to get over the fucked up week you had. And you're turned on, but somehow - it's still not enough to get you completely out of it.

Oliver pauses mid stroke, in missionary - hetero-chromatic eyes staring you down as your thoughts are somewhere else completely. You don't notice the first time he stops, or the first time he calls you.

And he only gets your attention by cupping your face and making you look at him. You startle as you cast your glance his way.

"What's with you?" He asks, though he's not pissed or anything "Not feelin' it? Want me to stop?"

"No, you don't have too."

"Not what I asked," He chastises, letting go of your face "Not having your full attention is making me go soft,"

This makes you laugh, and Oliver cracks a smile seeing the tension melt off your face if only slightly.

"I'm cool with stopping." He assures. You let your hand reach up to his shoulder.

"It's not like I want to stop, necessarily? Like I wanna do something to get my mind off it and sex feels like the best option, but you know how it goes sometimes," You say, trying your best to avoid the emotional baggage of your words "We can stop though. I'll pay you for your wasted time," You tack the joke on at the end to ease the tension.

You're expecting him to pull out and stop, or maybe challenge himself into fucking you so good that you forget. Something more quintessentially Oliver than what he does do.

He gives you a blank look first, than a laugh that is a touch too sincere for you to be comfortable "That bad of a week?"

You're suddenly in dangerous territory. Somehow, this strange intimacy makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You swallow thickly, the emotions coming over you so quick you end up looking away.

"Yeah. You know. It's fine, but you know."

"Mm," He says. He leans into your space. His breath is warm and his stubble tickles your skin as he whispers in your ear. You feel your breath hitch. And the air feels heavy "Wanna try somethin' else?"

"Like what?"

"A surprise," He says first, and find your stomach tightening. A hollowness in your nerves "Gotta trust me."

"You're scaring me." You joke.

"I'm a sex expert, you know?" Oliver says, humming against your skin "If I can't remedy your little problem with my dick, it's bad for my street cred. My yelp reviews will tank."

"You're such a dumbass."

"Do you trust me?"

You don't know how to answer. Yes, for the most part. Not with everything, but with your pleasure at least. Whatever this is, it doesn't feel the same. But you say yes, anyways. Oliver kisses your jaw in reply, then he pulls out.

He flips position easily. He ends up on his back, then he grabs you to rest on top of him. You're not sure what you're expecting. He holds you by your hips as your sex hovers over his cock. His thumb is rubbing circles into your skin as he sinks you down slowly onto him.

You only stare at him, mouth opening as you feel him stretch you open for a second time.

You're more aware of it this way. He's so thick, and so intrusive - and normally, you're feeling that in hard strokes. Fast and rough, like something knocking into your cervix. But like this, he's hitting a deep angle. You can feel every curve, every inch, as you come down slowly.

He keeps you there. For longer than you'd expect. Just keeps you, settles you, holds you gently. You stare at him as he grabs your hand, locking your fingers. Your first instinct is to panic, or crack a joke - but there's an intense look in his eye that shuts you up.

Uncharacteristically gentle, you find yourself frightened. Oliver's hands reach for you again. They hold your waist and slide up the planes of your body. He holds your tits in his palms and squeezes.

He does this a lot, but there's not usually this much touching. This much foreplay. It's grabby, a deeper pressure. He doesn't...feel you, in the way he is now. You stare at him, and he looks back at you so fondly you feel a strange urge to pretend it never happened.

"Play with your clit," He says, though there's no urgency in his voice.

Deep and smooth, the timbre in it has you shaking. You listen, on auto-pilot as you play with yourself clumsily and build a slow pressure. He just watches.

"C'mere, baby. And don't stop touching yourself."

Another pause. It's not the first time he's called you that. He likes to call you all sorts of things when you're fucking, and baby is one of the few. But not like that. Not like this. He gives you a lazy, self satisfied smile and encourages you by placing a hand on where he can reach on your low back.

You lean down, and Oliver tucks you into his chest. He's warm, and strong - and smells so good, like musk and cologne. Your free hand is on his chest, as he grips your hips and fucks up into you.

"That's it," His voice is pleasant to your ears. It feels funny to you "Just gotta listen to me."

He starts fucking you slowly. It's a familiar feeling, a pleasant stretch that dulls into a euphoric fullness. But it's never been this slow before. Each thrust is slow, and punctual, and so deep you feel yourself gasping. It's not enough to push you over the edge, but it's enough to make your mind feel a little numb.

You think he's going to keep at you like this, maybe edge you to take you out of it. But he doesn't. He keeps his pace.

"Had a hard time this week, didn't you, tough girl?" He mumbles, so low it doesn't feel real. You feel your heart start to race. You feel your throat start to close around something, choking "Did a good job and came to me. Gonna let me take care of it?"

You stumble. You aren't sure what to say, you nod and hope he feels it. He laughs a little. You can't be sure if you're fucking Oliver or not.

You know it's him but he's never been like this. Not once. Not ever.

"Gonna let daddy take care of you?" He says, though it's tentative. Your breath hitches. Something strange overwhelms your senses "Tell me, baby."

"Uhm," Your first reaction is a sense of resistance, an immediate pull away. Not that you hate it but you aren't sure how to adjust. You squirm, but you don't tell him no. You feel like you can't in this state "Uh-uh,"

He keeps surprising you, pressing his lips to yours where you hover over him, tender as he ups the pace of his thrusts.

"That's what I like to hear," He almost sounds proud "You'll hurt your head if you think too much. And I'd be a bad daddy, letting that happen, yeah?"

A vulnerable, foreign sensation drives you to speak "You're not bad in that way."

He laughs "Just in other ways, right?"

You giggle "Uh-huh."

"But not in this one," He repeats, very carefully. He fucks into you harder now, pays extra special attention to you. It's all for you, is what he's saying in a language completely foreign yet somehow so known. One only the two of you will ever know fully, confined in the four walls of this room "Daddy is good at taking care of you like this, so you should let him do just that. Tough girls always need their daddies, hm?"

It's what ends up tipping you up over the edge. You cling to him, succumbing to whatever weird space the two of you have fallen into you. Suspended in this odd sense of comfort that Oliver has thrust you in unannounced.

You don't trust Oliver with a lot, and this is more than what you should ever find yourself giving. In the back of your head you think you should pull away.

But he's comforting. It feels good, and strangely feels safe - and even for all the ways he's awful, you trust he'd never do anything bad to you. Even if it's a blip in the timeline, for now it's what you need. A blurry cross into your emotional needs that translate into your physical ones. Too much and so overwhelming, you hug closer to him and take a deep breath.

"Mm," You let yourself lean into him. Just this once, you promise yourself. "I wanna cum."

"Want it a little harder?"

"Mhm,"

"Then Daddy will give it to you a little harder, yeah? Anything for you." He says, and you try not to think to deeply on what that really means. Because even in this state you know it's not nothing, but you should never pry "Daddy can give you anything you want."

"Yeah?"

He chuckles a little as he fucks into you hard. Fucks into you how you need. You're wet enough, and wondering if you were always so into being doted on. Or if it's just the fact that it's Oliver. Another thing you decide to overlook as you zero in on the sensation of being pistoned from underneath. You're soaking. The room noisy with the sticky noise of Olivers cock penetrating you over and over, skin hitting skin as his hips press against your ass. His grip is bruising but not intentionally, his chest huffed in pleasure.

He's just as close as you are, you know all of his cues. You play with your clit faster, sensitive bud throbbing hard as all the blood rushes south. Your mouth has fallen open as the slow, thick desire coiling and culminating into something cosmic. Something big and heavy, but not too fast. Not a crash landing like you're used to.

But a single weight, the force of a star dropping to Earth. You figure Oliver is the gravity in your universe, holding you down so you don't float too far. You want to cling onto him for much longer.

And somehow, you're inclined to think he would let you.

"Oliver," You say his name as it builds, then decide on something else "Daddy,"

"I'm here, baby," He says back, like it's all he has to say for everything to make sense when nothing about this does "I'm right here. Let go."

So you do. You cum hard, and it comes in long never ending waves. Too much. It makes you collapse in Olivers arms, both arms coming around his neck as he continues to fuck you through the aftermath.

"Gonna," He voices, rasping as his thrusts become sloppy "Shit. Cumming, shit."

He cums with you, cums deep inside like usual and you mewl at the feeling of being filled with hot, sticky seed.

When it's over, you're almost afraid to look at him. When the tensions settled, and his chest goes back to it's steady breaths - you wonder whats going to happen next.

"Wanna stay like this for a while?"

You nod.

"Mm. Sleepy."

"Stay like this, then. I'll wake you in a little."

"So you can kick me out?" You joke, trying to pretend nothing is different. He pauses.

"Just to shower," He whispers, hand resting on your lower back "Sleep."

There's too much to think about. Tomorrow will be strange. You let yourself succumb to your own exhaustion.

"Okay."

#return to sender #daddy kink cw #oliver x reader #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku smut #bllk x reader #bllk smut #writing tag #this wouldve become a 10k fic if i was not so fucking careful

[xnchxntmxnt]

The OM Brothers reaction to Levi secretly having a male s/o?

Fandom: Obey Me! Shall We Date?

Characters: Levi x Reader, platonic!brothers x reader

Warnings: subtle mention of homophobia in mammon's but thats really it

Notes: this didn't specify so i decided to do headcanons i hope that's ok

male reader

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Lucifer

he's impressed tbh

first of all, not many can pull one over on him like that

secondly, just had a "if he's happy im happy" kind of mentality for levi

will give you the "if you hurt him..." speech later when he catches you alone for a moment

overall doesn't react much but makes sure to tell levi he's happy for him & proud of him later

sees how happy you two make each other and as long as it stays like that, he can't really complain

Mammon

his immediate reaction is betrayal

levi didn't TELL HIM ?? his wonderful older brother?? the GREAT mammon????

that subsides pretty quickly when he goes into protective brother mode

was a little worried (for no reason) someone might have some 'opinions' abt the fact he was dating a guy

was prepared to glare daggers at anyone who tried to say anything

luckily didn't have to. gave levi a big hug and told you 'welcome to the family' with that super fake "i will kill you if you hurt him" kinda smile

him and lucifer are alike in that way at least

Satan

more or less disinterested

its not a big deal but he's happy for him

more neutral on the subject

doesn't really go out of his way to talk to people so its not like he's gonna be friends with you (unless you initiate that)

doesn't dislike you and its not like he doesn't care he's just very indifferent?

Asmodeus

polar OPPOSITE of satan

SO interested he wants to know everything about you

on one hand, offended he wasn't told but on the other he's trying to figure out if you have siblings

makes a "if he gets boring i live down the hall" joke but SWEARS its a joke when lucifer and mammon glare at him for that one

you have to remind levi you love him later because he gest a little insecure abt that

getting the initial attempts to flirt out of the way he wants to know everything about you and everything about your guys' relationship that he MISSED already

is making interest boards already

so invested already tbh and sometimes he seems pushy but he's just trying to do whats best for his brother

sometimes that means horrible advice and other times that means putting him in eyeliner. who knows

Beelzebub

not a huge deal to him

once the initial "oh he's dating someone that's cool" wears off he's back to asking if he can go to the kitchen ad get something to eat

does try to get to know you though

asks you a lot about food (its beel)

enjoys talking to you when you're around

he's just easy to talk to in general

tries to give you the don't hurt my brother and be a good boyfriend talk but when you mention lucifer already did it laughs and goes "oh good i wont scare you again" and moves on

genuinely thinks you're good for levi and tells him so once he's gotten to know you a bit

Belphegor

was sleeping when levi introduced you to everyone

missed the formal announcement

didn't question it when suddenly there was just this Guy around the house of lamentation all the time

no one else made a big deal about it so he didn't either

one night asked beel before they went to sleep and just

"hey beel whos that guy that's been over like four times this week" "oh yeah that's (Y/N) levi's boyfriend"

...

"oh. ok neat."

literally doesn't care doesn't faze him at all

he's so used to asmo's typical liasons he figures it's nice levi has someone to take care of him

obey me taglist (ask to tag)

@emswordss @kodzukoi @kage7ama

#//ᴏʀɪɢɴᴀʟ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ #//ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ #//ɪɴʙᴏx #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x male reader #obey me brothers #obey me brothers x male reader #obey me brothers x reader #leviathan x reader #leviathan #leviathan x male reader #levi x reader #levi x male reader #lucifer x reader #mammon x reader #satan x reader #asmo x reader #asmodeus x reader #beel x reader #beelzebub x reader #belphie x reader #belphegor x reader #platonic brothers #platonic brothers x reader #platonic reader

[vixenicks]

@ozymoron HIIII YES I'D LOVE TO disclaimer this will be very all over the place also my mind is totally blanking rn bear with me (->🧸)

i don't usually write like cohesive headcanon lists also sorry that this took me like 3 weeks to get back to im sick in the head, also this will probably mostly just be a more comprehensive compilation of stuff i've already posted. also some miah too

biggest fucking hypermobile valeska truther

do i think he has a medical dx for whatever connective tissue disorder he has going on? absolutely not

his joints dislocate and pop whenever he strains anything too far, if anything i think he's a fan

never in his life would he use a mobility aid of any kind

you can't give him compression wear he'll lose his sparkle. (the sparkle in question being him popping his fingers in and out of their joints to freak people out)

plus just in the show he's always bending and moving constantly

he sits in chairs with his knees bunched up his legs folded over he spins in circles extends his arms

you can't convince me he doesn't sit at tables with his leg propped over his own shoulder

rip Jerome Valeska you would've loved bending over backwards across a table

and subsequently pulling something in your lower back that will continue to pop out of place and ache for the next like four years

again, probably not a huge issue i think he's a fan

i think that Miah is also hypermobile but like she's taking way better care of her body lets be real

compressive braces for her knees and elbows she's like fine

also the opposite end of the spectrum. the chronic aching is killing her. you however could not pay Jerome to take a tylenol

sleeping happens to him. rarely

honest to god i think the most hours of sleep he gets in gotham are when he's dead

when he does get any sleep he wakes up on the floor and with his feet like curled over his head

everything is where it definitely should not be

vague sounds of furniture moving around in arkham its just jerome moving in his sleep

a loud thunk followed by a sound similar to when birds ruffle up their feathers (he has a blanket wrapped around his body and folded over his face. he's stuck)

personally headcanon Jerome to have aspd, npd and bpd aswell :3c

i could go more into depth with that but its 9am. it's like basically canon though i think. like it has to be

his teeth are majorly fucked up (projecting)

his canines protrude up at the top of his gums he has a chipped front tooth and sharp molars (projecting) (i have a reference image. btw)

god knows his mother never took him to the dentist and you could not honestly try and convince me that he brushes his teeth

or does any form of self care for that matter

there's a reason his skin is so red during s4 his ass did not use any type of moisturizer after his face got cut off

alternatively i think he probably had alot of upkeep when he was under Galavan

free reign in a nice penthouse and he already stole the pajamas and weapons and food

he didn't get alot of nice things growing up, who wouldn't raid a rich dude's house and use all 57 of the soaps in the bathroom

he's making potions. and drinking them don't ask why his puke smells like winter candy apple

anyways. i think that's another contributor to him never really investing time in personal hygiene post getting murdered

reminders of Galavan make him nauseated why would he

he still has a scar on his neck, he probably doesn't remember all of it, he probably prefers it that way

Jerome was so crazy devoted to Galavan it makes me sick and i think we should talk about it more

nobody ever found out that he was behind the Maniax. nobody ever found out him killing Jerome was an act of betrayal. Jerome actively told his father that Galavn actually saw something in him, that Galavan believed he'd be a star

and he believed that !!!!! he would've gone to the ends of the earth for that man and he got killed by him the same fucking day

you can see the genuine admiration during s2, the constant need for approval and validation from him, the constant feeding into that need for approval and validation

the confusion when Galavan stabs him in the neck, his last words literally being him questioning everything he'd been promised before

idk. probably a pretty big contributor to Jerome becoming significantly more detached and unhinged post his resurrection, to him consistently needing to be the one in control of everything and everyone, even if it's under the guise of chaos

eye dee kay. like there's no way he didn't internalize Something after the Galavan thing

there's alot more sloppiness in his actions, alot of blind faith and drive to do things purely for attention and amusement pre getting murdered that just isn't there once he's revived

he still got a more impactful legacy out of it though so get fucked Theodore

uhhh i think he picks his skin alot. there's like a word for that i forgot what it is leave me alone

lip picker nail biter eyelash puller

if you don't let him use your pistol as a stim toy he's going to tear the top layer of his lips off

also canon but a box of crayons could've saved him

he's a drawer he's a colorer

did you see the inside of that fuckass claires diary let that boy make bad art for fun

would love the smell of gasoline i mean this in a negative way

for sure huffed enough markers to kill off the left side of his brain as a kid

turns his eyelids inside out bends his hand backwards

i think he just loves freaking people out via microdosing on body horror

ok that's all I'll definitely add to this though stay posted thanks for the ask

#sorry for she/her'ing jeremiah it will happen again #skyler posting #jerome valeska #gotham #gotham 2014 #gotham hcs #some of these are kind of gross maybe fair warning

[alwaysmicado]

(You know in your hearts what happened, I know it)

-

awww god damn it.. Joel definitely fucked her then 😂😭

I know they’re not exclusive or anything and he had every right to go on a date and do whatever he wants but bro, my heart 😭😭 like the other person said, knowing how shitty the reader was feeling, sobbing to Tommy over the phone while having to bandage her own hand bc nobody else was there… and he was with another woman 🥺 ouchie. Just ouchie! 😂 (AAAAND! literally only hours after he was with reader too. Like dude! hope you washed your dick Joel, ew.)

And just so I got it right, Jan from the last chapter is the same woman he went on a date with, right?

I know after everything in the last chapter they might finally be able to actually talk to each other and communicate and hopefully work things out but this still makes me sad. Joel saying reader can always call him for anything at anytime (which btw bro.. really. So if reader called while he’s balls deep in another woman he would just pick up? lmao) and reader feeling like she can’t call Joel for anything at anytime… 🥺😭

I saw another ask saying something and I agree so much! That while Joel does have every right to do whatever he wants bc they’re not dating, this definitely didn’t make reader feel like his feelings are actually genuine. Like, how is she supposed to believe he actually cares as much as he says he does when he then turns around and does this kinda stuff? That just basically confirmed all her insecurities and anxiety. Poor girl!

Still holding out hope he didn’t do anything but it’s like…. 1% left 😂 I’m sure it will eventually come out what exactly happened because I’m sure a serious talk between them is gonna happen eventually! And after the bar and seeing Joel with Jan and the mirror punch, I don’t think reader would be able to just let it go.

IM SORRY for rambling. I love this story and I have way too many thoughts and feelings and ugh. I get too invested lmao!

awww god damn it.. Joel definitely fucked her then 😂😭

But have you considered that I might just be messing with you for fun?

Like dude! hope you washed your dick Joel, ew.

lmao you just made my day!! (and I thought the same thing hahaha 😂😂)

And just so I got it right, Jan from the last chapter is the same woman he went on a date with, right?

Exactly. She's Tommy's age and has an adult daughter.

Joel saying reader can always call him for anything at anytime (which btw bro.. really. So if reader called while he’s balls deep in another woman he would just pick up? lmao) and reader feeling like she can’t call Joel for anything at anytime… 🥺😭

Very interesting (and kinda funny) thought 🤔. And yeah, that's exactly what reader is thinking!!

Like, how is she supposed to believe he actually cares as much as he says he does when he then turns around and does this kinda stuff? That just basically confirmed all her insecurities and anxiety. Poor girl!

Reader is convinced he's sleeping with Jan due to her insecurities (Simon & Laura 😑) plus her experiences with guys cheating on ther wives/gfs with her, like you said. But it's still very much possible that she's jumping to conclusions here because she's so disillusioned and just assumes the worst to preemtively protect herself from unpleasant surprises.

And the fact that she sees disappointment in Joel's eyes and assumes he'll leave her when he's literally just worried and continuously tried to reach her says a lot about how her view of herself and the people around her is very much shaped by her insecurity...

And after the bar and seeing Joel with Jan and the mirror punch, I don’t think reader would be able to just let it go.

Reader's MO for the past few years has been to cut and run when she starts feeling attached. She kept Joel at arm's length for a few months, but there's just something about him that made her feel safe enough to let herself fall a bit.

I think that this unexpected possibility of losing him suddenly, has opened her eyes to how much she actually cares about him and that she's in far deeper than she wants to admit.

But she did admit it and now I don't think either of them would be able to just let it go.

IM SORRY for rambling. I love this story and I have way too many thoughts and feelings and ugh. I get too invested lmao!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE SORRY?? I loooove that you're invested and have thoughts and feelings you want to share!!! 😍😍😍 Thank you so much for this message, your insight is amazing!! 🤍

#ask #fwb!joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #series: you wanted this #fic: sunshine #you're amazing!!

[system-of-a-feather]

(Disclaimer: this post was written in two parts, the first half was done the day before but not posted cause I didnt feel it was a complete thought, the second half was added after. I did not edit or touch the first half as I like to keep space for the thoughts of myself as they were; i also have passive chronic amnesia so Im not 100% sure if everything is on the same page; regardless that is just context)

Honestly, I think the thing that is important to keep in mind when interacting with syscourse - or specifically for us cause the only one we really care about is the tulpa discourse - is that you are never going to force or change anyone's mind who is so set that they are sitting on tumblr and pulling the dumbest arguments out of their ass to support their claims and I do think those that spend their time arguing with @/sophieinwonderland and @/cambriancrew - while honestly doing the dirty work no one wants to do by balancing out their bullshit posting so mad respect - are largely wasting their time if they do ever think that a mind will be changed.

The only reason to ever engage or talk about the stuff they (and the clique that actually buys into those arguments) talk about is solely to make an example out of how incredibly deep their interalized racism and just disregard for POC goes and honestly looking at them as anything other than a stubborn white person is putting more emotional energy than its worth.

Because genuinely, in a weird way and me doing what XIV calls "The Riku Thing" of looking at a really negative, annoying, and/or harmful thing and finding the bright side silverlining to it, I do kind of appreciate how astonishingly White TM they are because their unapologetic and loud nature makes a really big spectacle for a lot of people who otherwise would not understand how bad certain issues are look and go "what the fuck" and in its own way, it brings good publicity to the issues AAPI and eastern cultures go through in a western and white predominant area.

AAPI issues often go under the radar and are disregarded due to a number of reasons, but honestly? This is the most I've ever seen people actually talk about how white people take advantage of eastern and Asian cultures (relative to the size of the community in question) save for the brief blip of when Stop Asian Hate got loud during COVID where sinophobia blasted up and a bit surrounding Cyberpunk as a genre when Cyberpunk 2077 came out.

In that regard, I'm kinda glad they are so loudly racist and White TM about AAPI cultures. It makes for good publicity and awareness by being the example of just the Usual Bullshit and it starts better conversations. I'd honestly prefer a loud bigot to a quiet insidious one cause the loud ones at least can serve part of a message and be ignored.

Anyhow, this is all just to say that bigots will be bigots and you can argue with them all you want and call them truthful statements like "bigots" and "racist" but thats about all you can do to really control their behavior. Those balancing out their bullshit arguments, mad props - I could never cause that shit is too toxic and too much of an investment, but it is respectable work. (insert "it aint much but its honest work" meme at yall)

---(cut between original thoughts and the added bit)---

That said, I'll just say it as the fact that it is, those two and those that follow their rhetoric do not care at all about AAPI individuals and are just racist. We don't have to debate it and it's honestly not up for debate and while we could put our energy to trying to tear down their following and make them shut up, in a world where the KKK still exists and thrives, its an unlikely and futile of a goal to try ti achieve.

Instead its best imo to treat them like the public case study of white and western abuses to AAPI culture, particularly since time and time again they redisplay some of the most classic and frequently used techniques white and western individuals do to try to excuse their shit.

If you wouldn't give a person arguing with any other loud and proud bigot, its best to just accept that bigots be bigots and rather than banging your head against a wall, put it up for display on the museum wall as a means of education and awareness.

Theres no point in talking to bigots about how they are bigotted. There is, however, a point to displaying it for those less effected and usually not given the opportunity to sed it in full get a much closer look at some of the shit we deal with

I like to think that while a lot of white and western people suck, that a lot of them genuinely are trying their best with the limited awareness, access, and understanding that they have.

I dont feel as though I would be correct calling them and bigots a "small minority", but I'd like to think they aren't the majority and I honestly appreciate those willing to learn and better understand and so ya know? Whats a better way to explain it than with a live dancing monkey that loudly and proudly displays the behaviors in question for all to see.

Anyhow, I digress. Take this as you will. I am just throwing some insight and personal thoughts about specific users in hopes that some people who might be overly stressed about it might find a little more peace moderating the topic

#alter: riku #syscourse #syscourse tw #discourse #discourse tw #sophiecourse #racism #racism tw #riku rambles #anti-tulpa #tulpa tw #anti-tulpa terminology

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[heliographe]

hey, dream fans. dream fan here.

i dont use twt, i dont rlly follow any people who cover drama and so i found out ab the grooming allegations from the people i do follow vague posting ab it. which-- alr, im writing this just to vent and ill probably delete it later so here we go

im a bit annoyed at many peoples-- fans of dream-- response to this. a lot of its emotional, people being devastated by the news that a cc theyre so attached to is potentially a pedo. like yeah, fuck, that is pretty upsetting on its own. but where is the logic . the critical thinking. come on, people. you are capable of it. ive seen how capable you are.

now. to be fair a lot of the ppl i follow are young and very emotionally invested in this man and use twitter, and if i know anything about the damn internet its that twitter is some kind of fuckin virus. its emotionally draining, it is practically made for going after your sensitivities and insecurities and hopes and fears and all that shit.

the second i figured out the entire situation , i knew it wasnt true. dream is not a damn pedo, or a groomer, or whatever stupid big trigger word theyre throwing at him. and its simple why i know, why its so goddamn obvious.

its DREAM. and i say this with full confidence bc ive heard him talk. about his aspirations , his mistakes, his feelings, ive seen him act it out. weve seen it.

he lives with two extremely close and clearly stable, smart friends. he has many other friends who vouch for him, who have shown integrity and intelligence in their own right.

groomers are idiots. pedos are sick. there are reasons they are like that. dream is neither. he has so many good supports in his life, hes had rough patches as any young and learning and growing person would and he has SHOWN that hes learning and figuring shit out and hes progressing so well, listening and caring and again, its literally visible . the way he speaks ab things, the actions he takes.

i get how important that whole "listen to the victim" shit is, but god. that doesnt mean entirely fucking discard the evidence of innocence on one side of the accusations. take a step back from twitters poisonous moral fear mongering, take a step back from any emotional investment or parasocial feelings you have for dream. look at his behaviour objectively. hes not a villain, hes not a bad guy, hes not a stupid one, hes not the type of person who would do anything like that.

dont doubt what youve seen from this stupid fucking idiot minecraft youtuber. theres a reason you get so attached to him in the first place . hes genuine, hes easy to love because of it.

on the other side of this. the people accusing him very obviously have a malicious agenda. doing this at the height of his popularity, right after he face revealed and is getting ready to do entirely new content ? the wording they use ? god, its so cancel culture it hurts. fuck off with that shit. its disgusting how many times people try and spin popular ccs into pedos and how many fans fall for it bc theyre so scared its true. shut up your fear and think. i say this with a polite tone, bc i am too annoyed to be gentle.

take care of yourselves. please remember to think outside of twitter culture. form your own opinion, and when you do please try and consider things objectively and as critically as possible. twitter culture is a fucking curse.

#vent #dreamwastaken #dreamblr

[dnangelic]

TSUN! I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU!!!!

you are such an absolute delight to see on the dash and interact with, and that is no exaggeration! I adore all of your muses and even if i don’t know any of their respective medias, i learn about them through your writing and your metas and you talking about them and thats so fun to do!!! ITS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER! I appreciate you giving my dazai a chance despite not knowing bsd aswell as p much any of my other muses sknsksns you’ve been so sweet to me since we first became mutuals and i genuinely love seeing you around so much 😭 i see you on the dash and my day gets atleast 10% better without fail every single time. i hope u talk about your boys forever and ever . ITS SO FUN TO BUILD DYNAMICS WITH YOU!!! anyone is lucky to write with / plot with / interact with you i wont even lie and i genuinely believe that nsjsksnsjssn i appreciate that you show interest in so many of my muses it makes my heart so so so warm . I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE WRITING NOVELS TOGETHER FOREVERRRRR even though i know im the one who owes you like 2829922 things ksnsksns DW AB THAT . I ALSO WANNA SAY about you writing dark and daisuke specifically i think its so good how much care you put into a series thats really old and like Ive genuinely put the manga on my reading list BECAUSE of the interest garnered from your writing !! SOLELY BECAUSE OF YOU ! u are an absolute angel ( … hehehehensnensn … bejbwnw … get it bc … bc …!2&2!/@/!/82 s hehehehe ) AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME and always so interactive and i can’t even beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn to properly articulate how much of a joy you are 2 interact with !!! wishing you and daisuke and dark and yan qing and all ur muses the best day ever . 🙌

OH MY GOOOOOOSH and to think i was sitting here at ur post like 'should i ask permission for nine asking for permission. what if nine doesn't wanna say anything. i hate feeling like im ever panhandling for a compliment. nine should be pouring soup into my lap and slapping dark + calling him a bitch so i can finally apologize but youuuuUUU YOUUUUU ALL THESE FEELINGS R SO MUTUAL!!! I LOVE SEEING U TALK!!! IT BRINGS ME SM JOY TO SEE U POST!!! even the most random stuff. doesn't matter if its long or short. literally dont even worry abt owing me stuff ur presence alone is also a DELIGHT ur fr like such a funny mut and person BUT UR ALSO SO GOOD AT UR MUSES TOO??? LIKE i could go on forever abt how much i respect ur dazai alone and how even if i don't know bsd canon that's probably for the best, bc ur now ur dazai is The canon dazai to me, but u also have like nine... billion... (hehehesbhgbssnsjkdj x2) MUSES ON UR MULTI THAT U ALSO FLAWLESSLY INVEST URSELF IN AND!! WOWWWW WHAT A MUN!!! genuinely im so glad i found u even in this hellsite and that i can just toddle around following u like this everywhere 🐥 every like i leave on ur post is me picking at it for crumbs like a pigeon in a city being tossed bread. keep tossing that bread for me please please. IM CRYING. IM WAILING!!!! BUT SINCE U BROUGHT UP READING DNANGEL LET ME ACTUALLY HELP U OUT TOO??

scans are like absolutely everywhere and most places have the godawful quality fan translations. u can and frankly probably should read the official eng which is available here. dnangel had a weird run where the eng was only licensed and translated up to book 13. 14 and 15 (and beyond) are fan translations, but there's exactly one chapter that's ALWAYS broken on any website you go to except this one. this site doesn't complete the series though so the last link you'd have to hop to is this one. but the entire series is only 20 volumes in total. you could speedread through it in like a day. it's short and sweet and i love it even with its flaws. why else would i b here writing dark n dai. anyways. point is. tysm. im holding u and all ur muses tight. i wont leave u!!!! im so glad i met u!!! uve done sm for me already and i wont forget it!!! MY SO TALENTED FRIEND!!!

#*･ﾟ⊰ ANSWERED. ⊱ #*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #longerhuman #WAAAA WAAAAA blows my nose into a tissue #lkjdkgj u should save those links btw #in order #they take you directly to where each last link/chapter leaves off! so no looking for the right one or anything #im always like 'PLEASE DON'T READ THE FAN TRANSLATIONS' at ppl bc those were like. when scanners were just being invented #and all the translations are insanely choppy or questionable #eng isn't word for word and loses some things but that's how it always is with translations sometimes LOOOL #plus i kno u want to see dark's lamE CRINGE ASS GOTH FONTTTT #HIS ~WORLD OF DARKNESS~ #ILY THOUGHHHH ILYSM #TYSM AGAIN #WAAAA

[luffythinker]

said it was ok for me to come back and talk about Shigaraki/Dabi so now im gonna do that. Like, im not going into canon events all that much and my version of LOV is like face view these are bad guys but they are people and everything isn't happening back to back so take it as a silly scenario i guess? possibly an AU?

What do you think about trans Shigaraki coming out to Dabi while drunk? like Dabi just accepts it and when Shigs done with his hangover the next day he remembers he came out to him like "oh shit i really did that" and now he's insecure because he thinks Dabi's gonna view him differently, not that his view matters but it does.

This needs context. Lets say after kamino that's when the gang really started to be friends they all started treating eachother with a little more respect but your all still my bitches - everyone in the league probably 2023 lol

Dabi and Shigs have been getting super close, like it's not boss and henchmen it's we are almost equals but you know im in charge winky face. After a heist they always have pizza partys or whatever they can steal for dinner cause we don't have kurogiri :( Shigs and dabs always sit close enough for their shoulders or knee to touch and Dabi notices Shigs getting a little too up in the air. Dabi is not gonna be that ass so he takes Shigs outside to get some air and water away from everyone "can't see out leader looking like a he got drugged at the bar" and when i say he picks him up he throws him over his shoulder, nobody says anything cause he's just taking care of Shigs they just get a comedic voice from Twice like "STRIKE, your out!" followed by laughter Dabi gets him to get some water going through his body but he's high as a astronaut and sweating, Dabi makes sure his gloves are on and is just genuinely taking care of him complaining about how he rather not be but he really doesn't mind he's just putting on a show for noone, Shigs is mumbling and crying fake/real? tears about how being "Tomura" is hard work and at first Dabi thinks he's just talking nonsense until he starts complaining about his binder and how he fucking can't breath in it 9 times out of 10 of the time and Dabi's like "wait, what?" and he just continues to go on about how his shitty dad would always dress him up in a dress want him to be a propper young lady while sticking his pinky out and everything. He was compared to his sister all the time and he hated it Dabi is being flooded with information he can't have time to processes and he ask Dabi "If i told you i was trans would you hate me?" Like any of this is supposed to mean something to Dabi and Dabi tells him he needs to go to bed. After that night Dabi is internally freaking out "What just happen? why???" and he can't sleep that night after the fact Shigs is avoiding Dabi which is strange for everyone to watch and they think their in a huge fight. Himiko keeps asking Dabi what he did and Dabi tells her to butt out.

if you care about this i'll come back for a part 2

i honestly hold bnha canon events very in the back of my mind, at this point i barely remember the order of things, so yeah don't worry about staying truthful to a timeline or anything cause i assure you i most likely don't remember muchdjjdflkfk

and i absolutely love trans shigaraki, even in canon he gives me big non binary vibes so!!!!

oh my god i love how you painted this picture, his childhood was super hard with his father and transphobia. He probably felt like himself for the first time after he left the family and could explore his gender by himself. He knew since early age he wasn't a girl, so he would fully invest himself into looking like how he feels. I think AFO giving him a new name also marks his transitioning, he has always had a smaller chest so the binder helps with keeping it flat, but it is shigaraki so obviously he doesn't have the greatest relationship with himself, so he wears it super tight to the point it hurts him (i think its some kind of internal punishment). He never really told anyone about it because it's not anyone's business, but he likes dabi so it just feels so weird to not tell him that, not that he really wanted to because he doesn't want things to change but he also lowkey wants to be accepted fully as he is, while also too scared of being rejected again.

telling dabi about it while he's drunk is so on brand because he would never master up the courage to do it sober, i think the day after he would act like nothing happened and hope dabi wouldn't bring it up, but I'm curious to see how dabi would confront him about this from your pov!!!

(this might be weird but i really like shigaraki, like i think he's such a good villain)

#shigadabi #shigaraki tomura #dabi #mha #bnha #rei replies

[milktea-grn]

What are your thoughts on c!dnf

This got so long i’m so sorry.

i love it so so much. their story has SO much potential, but i like how it is now. i like that it’s kind of in the background, it is explicit without being in your face and i like that it gives you just enough to know what’s going on. i just like that it’s kind of haunting because i think their story suits that lingering feel. i don’t think i’m making any sense but. i like the little things about it. like little comments, the shield, cgeorge being cdreams weakness and that being something everyone knows. you see it, you know it’s there, and if you’re invested in their storyline, you know what it is.

i like that, imo, cdnf is such an established thing while being like a shadow. that shadow is there and casted and everyone can see it. that’s kinda why i’m a little surprised that there’s other ships with cdream (only a little bc i mean ppl will ship anything regardless, but i’m talking denying the existence of cdnf), because even taking away ccdreams. very clear. support … of cdnf, or even myself shipping dnf anyway, cdnfs story is so beautifully tragic and so. There. like it’s canon. it’s there. if you count the very beginning of the smp as lore, then it’s this amazing story of two best friends in love or falling in love, building their home, being a team (i’m specifically talking about cdnfs story as a duo and romance but sapnap was also on the team im sorry sorry he was there), and then as the story progresses, one watches the other sort of fall. like a fallen angel or corrupt hero. and he stays with him, they stay by each other’s side, and then Misunderstandings like cdream dethroning cgeorge because he wanted him to be safe and he knew if he was on the throne while people knew cgeorge is cdreams weakness then he would be targeted — but cgeorge being told cdream just doesn’t care about him. and then the PRISON. cdream being in prison for so long, them canonically not seeing each other in two years, cgeorge standing outside the prison looking in, cgeorge having dreams and hallucinations of seeing cdream again, cgeorge holding onto cdreams shield because it’s the last piece of him he has, cdream cutting cgeorge out because he can’t have anything he cares about affecting him, and dreamxd — a creature that’s in a way apart of cdream — being attached to and protecting cgeorge, cgeorge calling xd “dream”, xd reminding him he is not. like. ALL OF IT. I EAT IT UP. IM IN LOVE. it’s genuinely such a beautiful story it is BEAUTIFUL. i can talk about it for hours. i’m not invested in lore or keep up with it very much, but cdnf as a story feels like it could be a classic tragedy. from the aesthetics of a fallen broken hero and a dethroned king asleep and a god who took the appearance of the hero with mushrooms and armor and explosions and moss to the contents and love and ache of the story. BEAUTIFUL.

#not this essay im so sorry #and i know the reason why cdnf has this haunting feeling is because george just doesn’t like doing lore but i LIKE IT LIKE THAT!! #and i love what we get of it #slightly unrelated but something i love about cdream as a head cannon is him having very boyish features. being boyish and pretty #and like Angelic in a cupid way with freckles and scars and being seen as this scary dangerous villain #it’s like lucifer being the most beautiful angel DO U GET ME i’m sorry i just adore the fallen angel Idea i adore it with all my heart #long post #asks

[coyotevallie]

Hey if you're still doing curious anons (I'm not an anon but shh,,) I'd really be interested with some transfem Jedidiah hcs!! I love her SM and there isn't enough abt her,,,

YESSSSSSS YOURE SOOO BASED I LOVE TRANSFEM JEDIDIAH SO MUCH . I AM ALWAYS MORE THAN HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT HER

i headcanon her as transfem bigender nonbinary with she/he pronouns!! shes still an egg in season one though i dont think shes realized yet. and if she has she definitely hasnt told anyone i think he would talk to sydney first and......... well . shes not telling him much of anything now is he

i think the reason shes an egg for so long is partially because of christian influenced internalized homophobia but is ALSO becaude sydney is basically the only trans person she knows for a really long time and his relationship to his gender is VERY diff to hers not just that hes transmasc and shes transfem but just the way they Approach their respective transness . plus i think because shes been sheltered so mcuh for so long his grasp on the nuances of being nonbinary is Limited so because she Knows she doesnt want to be a 100% binary woman and he knows she doesnt want to be like fully androgynous no gendered pronouns whatsoever she kinda doesnt process that theres a midway between the two . so shes like ya ok i know what being trans is like and its Not Like This so the way i geel about being a man or lack thereof is just Cis Guy Things ): sigh . he will not be introspective about why hes sad about that

i think yvonne and sydney both dress him up in fem clothes a lot jusg to experiment . yvonnes usually just fucking about and having fun the emphasis is usually more on Punk than Feminine but i think sydney like . doesnt know hes Trans . but knows her well enough rhat he can recognize jeddys emotions and has gathered she at Least wants to be a little more gnc than he is . so hes like :O!!!! jeddy you know whats be fun . if i did your makeup and put you in this dress i got for you . cmon . jeddys forcedly reluctant about it but she always gives in the second sydney seems like hes genuinely going to stop pushing the point 

SEE . and i think what makes her egg crack is that i also hc Juniper to be transfem too and jeddy canonically sees herself in them a lot for better or for worse . so i think her coming out makes jeddy be like . Huhhhhh. which she promptly compartmentalizes and refuses to talk about

i do think she eventually comes out to sydney and she weirdly expects him to be angry about it or to tell her shes wrong?? like that hes just trying to copy sydney and that hes Obviously just a guy i mean hes been Fine being a guy for over two decades whats the issue now obviously hes just being dramatic . and then sydneys like (: its really nice that you trust me with that and im proud of you and gives her a hug and hes like .......???????????????? what the fuck

i think she still Generally sticks with the same general aesthetic as she did before after she properly socially transitions like she still wears a lot of neutrals she likes fairly prim very simple and professional clothing the only major change is that she starts wearing more dresses and skirts and adding some more accessories and wearing makeup and a lot of that isnt Just transitioning and is also the fact that the gender euphoria dressing feminine gives her more of a motivation to take care of herself and put herself together a bit and wear clothes she likes and feels comfortable in as opposed to just whatever she shoves on . but her general vibe stays the same 

HOWEVER!!!!!! back to the earlier hc i think she can also be VERY easily talked into dressing up all goth and fun and loud to match with sydney and yvonne and he gets VERY invested in it . its a fun break from the norm for her 

sydney asks if she wants to be his girlfriend instead of his boyfriend and jeddys like oh!! uh i havent thought about that . no boyfriends fine i think . but then spends the next week in a half gendery half lovestruck lil fantasy spiral going <3333 sydneys girlfriend sydneys GIRLFRIEND im sydneys girlfriend sydneys girl sydneys girlfriend <3333333 in her brain and so shes like ,,,, can i change my mind . theyre t4t and their mutual transness accentuates their love!! diversity win

i think she has like . one or two xenogenders that sydney showed her and she expected them to not be her thing but was like wait thats kinda cool . shes too awkward for neopronouns but maybe someday …… someday sydney will warm her up to it 

i think her coming out socially is a side effect of him becoming more comfortable with other people (: this is the overarching theme of my transfem jeddy hc i think as she learns to accept himself more and open herself up to other people that exact same progression follows with ehr gender i think trans jeddy is really compelling and good actually 

in conclusion!!!! shes trans and i love her so mcuh despite her being the worst 

#jedidiah martin #HCS ABOUT HER ARE LITERALLY THE BEST THING TOA SK EM ABOUT EVER #i haves o many #i am so insane abt him #camp here and there #rougecanons

[sundownsquad]

Second Anniversary Asks #9 — @leehenley

Q: A question for Nitsani! What is your favorite thing to tell people about Chigba?

Nitsani: Oh, that’s a tough one! There’s a lot of things I love about Chigba, it’s hard to narrow it down. Nitsani: Normally I’d want to talk about how selfless and invested she actually is, but she always says something like Sani, cut that out. I’m not a nice person, stop lying to people. Chigba: She tries to make me look thoughtful or some other such nonsense. It's ridiculous. Nitsani: She’ll tell you she’s just a humble freighter pilot that only cares about the work, but don’t listen to her. She’s trying to throw you off. Chigba: How dare you use the word humble to describe me. Speedy: yeah come on zio humble is a term solely reserved for describing me Knox: 🙄 Nitsani: Case and point that I won’t get very far talking about her character. 😆 Nitsani: So I’ll share a more neutral fact instead: Chigba knows how to play the Pixelito sitar! Speedy: wait for real Knox: No way, I didn’t know you can play an instrument! Drums: How did you learn to play the sitar, Chigba? Chigba: My mother knew how to play, so she taught me. I hated it as a kid, but it’s a very traditional thing so I eventually decided to carry it forward. The sitar itself is, what, 9 generations old now? Old as dirt, basically. Speedy: so a family heirloom then Chigba: Yeah. My family is a stubborn, sentimental bunch. Sort of a “we’re passing these traditions down whether you like it or not” type deal. Nitsani: See, she can say she’s sentimental. But if I said that she’d sue me for defamation of character. Chigba: That's what you get for using the Force to look into by brain to figure all this stuff out. Nitsani: Chigba, it doesn’t take telepathy to know these things about you. Lol Chigba: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I’m gonna leave now. A new episode of Intrigue on Iridonia is about to air and I will not be missing it. Speedy: OH THATS RIGHT  Speedy: im going to watch too be right there Knox: Wow I can’t believe that got him to use that many capital letters at once 😂 Drums: 🤣 Kess: They’re real serious about those holo dramas, let me tell ya. Nitsani: Ok, now that Chigba bounced: another one of my favorite things about Chigba is how she leaves little gifts around for everyone. She is genuinely so thoughtful and pays close attention to all of us. She leaves the gifts in specific places where the recipient will find it but doesn’t write her name on it or anything. It’s how she shows affection and support. It’s also right in line with a common cultural thing Dugs do. They tend to put great importance on performing acts of selflessness or kindness in ways that don’t put them in the spotlight; it should be done with sincerity. It’s one of the reasons Dugs can seem brash or rude. They don’t want to make a show out of those sorts of things. They have no problem making a show out of anything else, though. Knox: Yeah, exactly. She tries to down play it whenever she does something nice so it doesn't look like she's trying to get attention from it. But with just about anything else she'll be loud and in your face. Which is apparently another Dug cultural thing. Nitsani: Yup! Passion, energy, and bluntness are valued traits for many Dugs and that tends to manifest itself in the form of dramatic, high-volume conversations. When Chigba really gets going it's impossible to ignore her. Drums: She also does that with port authorities that are acting like idiots. Other freighter operators love when she’s around because she has no problem taking on the jerks that try to make things harder for everyone. We all, admittedly, get a kick out of watching her tear those people a new one. Nitsani: Like I said, there’s a lot of things to love about Chigba. Lol

#Thanks for the ask! <3 #I made up so many things for this one #I've never been a fan of the fact that Dugs are considered to be aggressive and primitive with no values #So I'm just ignoring all that and doing some world building to give them more depth #They deserve motives and culture dang it #Sundown Anniversary #Group chat with the squad #Sundown Asks #Sundown Squad

[judasvibe]

this is kind of a morbid post but some of my colleagues were talking about aging parents and how hard it is to help them and...

honestly if anything could almost scare me into having children (almost. i genuinely have no desire to, and at 32 i'd say it's already too late to find a decent partner and father if i really did want to) it's the perspective of aging and dying alone with nobody to care for me; not that having kids is a guarantee of that, either.

as things are, honestly my only perspective is to simply liven't once i can no longer live independently.... people aren't gonna give a fuck about me more when i'm old than they do now, im probably gonna rot for like 3 months before anyone notices anything…and even assuming my (extensive) budgeting, saving, and investing efforts pay off, living and care costs probably will scale up faster over my lifetime

Not to mention…who’s even going to be here to perform this work professionally even if i had infinite money? The birth rates aren’t going up, and a large portion of newcomers will just hate the majority demographic of care homes (old white women) to the point care by a robot may be a better outcome. Elder abuse is chillingly common today already.

This is gloomy and morbid but honestly i’m better off dying before that. Even my siblings and potential nephews/nieces are better off because if i get institutionalized into elder care any assets i have will be eaten up instantly; if i die before that, they may inherit what i’ve saved.

#life is just too long and the lack of independence at the end is unfair. is it not bad enough to be dependent at the start?

[storiesofsvu]

Happy thursday.

fair warning, if you care about svu spoilers at all, make sure you're staying FAR away from social media until you've watched it.

WOOF

spoilers under the cut for all three l&o's and not really for CME, but just some minor thoughts

Thursday Thursday… here we go!

As usual Ayanna looking like a fucking bomb snack in her suits

Ian doyle get your crusty ass face off my fucking tv. Like, im literally writing Emily fic as I’m watching organized crime, this is NOT THE TIME.

Okay, not surprised the snitch is already dead.

Ah… and we’re back to the sleazy casino manchild. Amazing.

The more we find out about jet, the more I love her.

Wait… bobby’s MARRIED??!? Did we know this already and I just forgot or is this new information? Or is the new info just that he’s married to a mob boss’s niece?

Okay also…the mob boss woman was in the once upon a time in el barrio svu ep.. that’s where I know her from…

LOL to Jamie little white kid freaking over the food and bigger LOL to them having a giant pile of containers to take with him…

Murphy’s accent keeps slipping in and out which is weird cause the actor is irish… then again, if he’s been living in the us for that long it probably does that anyways

The girl playing Rika has defs been on svu before… but im not complaining… she’s hot.

Yeah she was in s19.

Bobby’s such a lil cutie.

“I deserve a lot more than that. But you’re going to spend it on me. Dinner, maybe some jewels…”  “buy you a house if it means I get to come home to you.”  ….things to file away for future fic inspo….

Jet… omg.. I love you.

Okay… but like… jet was being flirted with by a KNOWN gangster ,one who clearly wanted more time with her, whether that is pure intention or not (cause out on the street he did seem a bit genuine, esp once murphy showed up) and like, yes I get that she’s a cop, but WHY would she be left to walk to her car alone late at night. Like, im not talking police escort, but at the very least a “security” from the club or a bartender or anything like… there are some bars that don’t let their service staff walk to their cars alone….

Okay, im actually invested in this arc…  weird.

Now we’re onto mothership. Will I pay attention or will I focus on the prentiss smut I’m working on? Only time will tell!!

Shouldn’t this be a special victims case?

Cops walking up to a suspect muttering “don’t run, don’t run, don’t run.” Will always be hilarious to me.

“these Zumba classes are not working…”  “…I did all the running.” LOOOL that is some quality partner banter. Love it.

I literally just said “where tf are this kid’s parents.”  Like… he’s under 18..

God this is one of those cases that just has curveball after curveball…

Wait… barba upped a case to reckless endangerment and rita’s response was “really, now we’re talking felonies?!” but now RE means no jail time?? Brb while I go google some shit. Okay… It looks like its first degree vs second degree. I’ll accept that.

Samantha maroun and rita Calhoun go on shopping sprees together and I will not accept notes on this. They’re both always so colourful.

I feel like this case would be a super hard one to take to trial… like that jury is gonna be deadlocked no matter what, it would so likely be a mistrial.

Damn these lawyers are fucking smart and know their shit. Good job.

Holy FUCK another curveball. Damn. This is old school writing. Bless.

 Okay, svu time. I don’t know if I’m prepared. (and not because I ship it…)

Still cant get over that Oscar papa is a fucking TWINK

Awwwee sonny… sweet sonshine. I fucking miss you. Wish you were around more often.

Wow… timing.. Seriously? We couldn’t even get sonny in the room?? He had to zoom in? wtf?!

This aint the first time a perp has threatened her son.. like.. she aint fucking around anymore

Also… the fact that they were *actually* going for noah is terrifying and makes it like, so much more worse?!

Fuck.. Velasco… ive missed you…

A phoebe mention!! Can we see her again pls?

Still haven’t decided if I like Bruno or not. Wouldn’t be mad if he joined the team cause lort knows they need a bigger squad. Also really liked that other Bronx detective

Okay.. note on the commercial break… they’re making ANOTHER magic mike??? Is channing tatum that desperate for money??

LOL the “let me call you amanda from now on” line followed by “alright well tell carisi I’ll be home late.” Omg. Fin. Best one liners.

“all you white boys look alike to me” LOL.

Bruno my man, why TF you carrying around that much cash?!?

Yes… THIS ONE! The black girl detective from the bronx. I want more of her.

HANDS! Joe.. jfc calm yourself

Churlish! Okay… imma try to remember that name

….im assuming we’re not getting any muncy in this ep

YEESSS VELASCO playing dirty fake UC (well… kinda…) this should not be as hot as it is…

OH MY GOD ARE WE ACTUALLY IN COURT?! IT’S A FUCKING MIRACLE.

Man… testifying/prosecuting/being on the jury in a gang related case like this, like, my anxiety would be through the fucking roof for the rest of my life…

Im over here still trying to figure out just how dirty joe was playing? Like, if he was gonna go that bad why do it in front of a cop he doesn’t know that well. Like yeah maybe he has a hook with mcgrath but im just wary of shit rn. He’s not that ballsy….

Okay, this isn’t the first time that liv has made threats like this, and it wont be the last.

Yeah.. still so confused about joe… like he *knows* what he’s doing…. Right? Like at first I lowkey thought it was the two of them playing good cop bad cop like liv & Elliot used to back in the day.

“that an invitation?” DUARTE WOW WAY TO BE FUCKING BOLD (would probs prefer that to eo tbh)

Theyre flirting your honour

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??!!! ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?!!? I legit wish you could see my face rn. WOW SVU WAY TO FUCKING GO DARK THERE IS ONLY 10 MINS LEFT OF THIS SHIT AND THAT INCLUDES COMMERCIALS WOOOWW

 Are you fucking with me???

Wow… okay.. noted… pray for anyone named Mike on SVU

(but is he actually dead..  or is this gonna be a witsec thing?)

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE HIM DAMMIT

Oscar’s got mommy issues… that checks

Okay well they prosecuted him for murder so… duarte’s dead… wow..

Her new apartment is gorgeous

Did we really have to go all dutch tilt for this scene?

LOOOOOLLL omg that promo had y’all fucking freaking your shit out and it turned into nothing. God bless. So proud of liv for saying no, that she can’t. like, not only did unstabler bring it up at a time that she was probably hella vulnerable, feeling the relief that she/noah were finally safe, like that’s gonna have her releasing emotions she didn’t even realize she was feeling. And then on top of that, someone, a friend.. a flirtatious friend maybe? Coworker? The SECOND person she’d worked closely with named mike be murdered a moment after she left their side, holds herself responsible. Like that is NOT the time to try to fucking kiss her my man. That is the time to wrap her in a hug, tell her that things will eventually be okay and let her cry into your shoulder, a light kiss on the head at most. Jfc. Read the room.

circling back to duarte.. they SERIOUSLY couldn't bother paying molly for like a half day of work to be in the waiting room? he was her captain.. she would be there...

ANYWAYS.

Uh,… CME summary?

Episode was meh. Like literally meh. I have basically zero good or bad points about it. AJ’s kids are so grown up now. JJ looks hot af as usual, and gay af, like the reboot really said “okay, jj is also gonna be secretly gay, don’t tell will”. Sick of the will they wont they with will being sick/dying, lets not tease this shit anymore. Also sick of the wardrobe dept giving Prentiss the exact same shirt in like 4 diff colours to wear and that’s it. Also please let Emily say fuck again. Also JJ. And Tara. Let the women swear pls. it’s not fair Rossi got the first like.. three… let’s hope next week is better!

#law and order svu #law and order spoilers #spoilers #cme spoilers #svu spoilers #law and order #law and order organized crime #svu #law and order special victims unit

[seongwin]

ateez as my fav tropes

Please ignore my crappy spelling and what not i am def not a writer-- simply writing my thoughts as they come baby /// i am literally so terrified of posting this but whatever (゜∀。)

Friends to lovers: a personal fav; like so good and classic how could you go wrong?? I 100% believe any of the members would fit in this trope but specifically-- Yunho, Wooyung, Jongho and Yeosang 

Arranged Marriage au: will literally scream and cry for this au likee?? Especially if it includes enemies to lovers KEKEKE this no doubt for me is Seonghwa and Mingi-- i just think this is such a silly little idea (>///<)

Pirate au: obvi this is a little too fitting for ot8 but i genuinely love this au; like you can't go wrong with it; the sea, stealing, being pirates, ships, being pirates, swords, literally everything; so silly and i love it- just all of that good good fills up my brain juices like no other ( ˘▾˘)~

Brothers best friend: now this one… lord let me tell you; i wholeheartedly believe this is ment for Jongho like someone tell me you agree (T^T) ; he is just so perfect for it like… the sorta  unobtainable man of your dreams AHUVDGBDJKIDVH i could pass away rn.  He's good at everything and you’ve had a crush on him for forever but HE CANNOT BE ATTAINED LIKEEE??? Oh my god this idea is going to make me spiral- Jongho plus was like a new boom of love for me so I’m eating this shit up rn ;^; OH MY GOD THE PINING!?!?!!!? Like it would be mutual BUT YOU DONT KNOW THAT //// slowburn af is all im saying-- so kind and so soft with that good good yummy sprinkle of angst- I’m sorry i’m invested now… 

Anyways, San also is so perfect for this but his would be more of a friends to lovers scenario ya feel

YEOSANG KEKEKE also pretty self explanatory me thinks 

Oh no! there's only one bed ¬‿¬ : i will eat this for  breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Thank you very much. 

Dont even get me started on if literally nothing but unbearable tension happens because- like for real, as much as i can't stand tension I  also can’t say no// sigh.. such is life… // got sidetracked but literally ot8 like-- jkjk it's Seonghwa 2000%; maybe its my bias talking but he just screams this shit like- my respectful king but the fucking tension could be cut with a knife ( i love saying that its so silly and classic anyways..) but would anything happen???  yea who knows but it would for sure be juicy-- glances, faint touches, so super nervous but still so sweet BDUKVEFUWKBDUF i could go crazy. 

kim hongjoong. like friends to lovers oh no he crawls into the wrong bed moment. ya feel...

I CAN NOT ESCAPE THIS THOUGHT NOW!>!? oh my god tried af Hongjoong + literally was asleep u?? yea goodbye. purely fluff and kind and love-- like the "oh my god he looks so cute sleeping. ...AM I IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!?!??" ya feel the vibe?? sigh i love this thought. XDDD ( i think XD is so silly and fun i don't even care)

Fake dating: I literally can not let myself talk about this. It's truly  just so yum. 

BABY YOU KNOW IT’S YUNHO. Like he’s ultimate boyfriend material so I feel like it’s a natural choice. OH MY GOD the “i know this is fake but it feels so real” VHDUEVFUDKQ. We all know Yunho is our acting king so HOW COULD YOU TELL?? IS IT REAL OR NOT??!??  But then even in private  he’d be so sweet-  IS IT CUZ HE LIKES U BACK?? You’ll never know T_T (spoiler alert the feels are mutual KEKKE) 

 I don't really have a preference over if they know each other beforehand or not-- so silly and fun either way 

Honorable mentions aka i don't feel like screaming and trying to write that down:

Mutual Pining 

Slow Burn ///

Coffee Shop AU (hongjoong yea i see ur ass; YOU TOO WOOYOUNG) 

Please do not mention how many times i say like or use ellipses….

#ateez fic #writing #fics scare me #ateez #yeosang #seonghwa #yunho #jongho #hongjoong #san #wooyoung #mingi #idk how to use tags #drabbles #writing tropes #literally what am i doing #writting prompt #x reader #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kim hongjoong #choi san #choi jongho #jung wooyoung #kang yeosang #song mingi #fic ideas