#in a kind of 'I know I'm capable of great violence but I choose not to every day and this is why' sort of way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anneapocalypse · 10 months

Note

4, 8, and 16! 🔥🔥

For the 🔥choose violence 🔥 ask game!

Disclaimer: provocative name aside, I am not actually trying to be mean here, these are just my opinions offered for Entertainment Purposes™️, and I’m not mad at anyone who has a different opinion.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

I'm lucky if I remember why I blocked anyone. I just have to assume past!Anne had a reason. 😂

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Okay, so this one's about Merrill, but before I say it I have to qualify that I am not on the Merrill hate train. I love Merrill, I think she's a great character, and I don't think she's wrong for wanting to restore her people's history. I do think that what she's doing is dangerous enough that it's in conflict with the duties of a Keeper to protect her people--but the thing is Merrill knows that, and that's why she agrees to leave the clan. She believes this is too important, more important than becoming a Keeper, which she also says she would have been terrible at. I do think Merrill is not being totally honest with herself about the danger at first; in Act I, she's very quick to insist that it's fine and she's got everything under control. But I think her years in Kirkwall make her more mindful--she sees a lot of demons, a lot of blood magic, she sees how Anders struggles with Justice, and she almost falls to another Pride demon herself if she goes into the Fade with Hawke. (Personally, I also think this might have something to do with her proximity to Audacity on the mountain, and then having more distance from it in Kirkwall, because I do think the Pride demon was influencing both her and Marethari. In the short story "Merrill" it's very clear that it called out to both of them, rather than Merrill seeking it out on her own.)

By Act III, she's undeniably aware of the danger because she asks Hawke to come along for that very reason. What Merrill is doing is undeniably dangerous, but dangerous does not necessarily mean evil or wrong. In the end, though I think there's undoubtedly some level of pride in her motives still, I do think Merrill is fully aware of the risks, and believes that the possible gain is worth it, and takes every precaution she can.

Furthermore, I think that Marethari fails in her duty to her people when she goes to the demon and allows it to possess her. Her responsibility is to protect the clan. When Merrill leaves, Marethari needs to accept her choice and let her go. She needs to move the clan on, out of reach of whatever danger she believes Merrill poses. If they need to contact another clan, raise new halla, she has years to do that. Instead, she keeps them on Sundermount for the better part of a decade because she (and her own pride) simply can't let it go, and in the end she leaves her clan leaderless and possibly dead because she (and, I think, Audacity) convinces herself that only she is capable of protecting Merrill. But Merrill isn't her responsibility anymore. Her clan is. And she abandons them.

So the one thing that kind of sticks in my craw is the idea that Merrill must be an unparalleled genius because she successfully reverse-engineered an eluvian from a shard. Because the thing is she didn't do that! That's the thing she didn't do! She never successfully got the mirror working in canon. Maybe in the next game, for some world states, we'll find out that she did finish it, or maybe we'll never hear about it again; as of the information we have right now, she never made it work.

And I know this one is contentious, because there's a big interpretive gap as far as how close Merrill was to making the eluvian work. And I'm not trying to step on anyone's headcanons here; there's room for speculation and when it comes to headcanon or fanworks there's truly nothing wrong with going the route that she was really, really close, and maybe succeeded down the road.

But as far as canon, we simply do not know. We do not know how close she was. We do not know whether she had built it correctly and simply needed the power to activate it, or whether there was some fundamental flaw in her theory she hadn't figured out, or whether it was wrong from the ground up. We do not know whether Audacity truly knew what she needed or would have given it to her had Marethari not interfered. We don't even know whether it's possible to build an eluvian in a post-Veil world, for that matter! We don't know, and we probably never will.

In fact, it's unclear to me whether Merrill actually knows the full extent of what eluvians are supposed to do. She says in her Act II quest "Mirror Image" that she knows that they were used for communication over distances (which was the extent of ancient Tevinter's understanding of them, and what Duncan remarks in Origins), but she doesn't know exactly how they work. I don't remember her ever saying that it's supposed to be a physical portal you can travel through. There's a moment where Hawke asks what's wrong with it and Merrill exclaims, frustrated, "Well... look at it! Do you think it's just supposed to sit there not doing anything?" I'm not convinced she actually knows what it's supposed to do, only that it's important to her people's history. I'm not blaming her for her lack of knowledge here--I think as fans we've gotten so used to hearing about eluvians that it's easy to forget their existence isn't common knowledge in-universe even among the Dalish. Ariane's clan was safeguarding an exceptionally rare text about eluvians and even she didn't know what they were (in part because most modern elves canonically are not fluent in ancient Elvish, something else I think people kind of forget).

Again, I don't think Merrill is wrong for wanting to discover and restore her people's history. If anything, the gaps in their knowledge only make that more important. I'm also not saying any of this because I'm trying to refute the idea that Merrill is smart. I think she's very clever and resourceful and I think this shows in a great deal of her dialogue with other characters.

I just don't think we can know, based on canon, that her theories were 100% correct and she is now the foremost expert on eluvians. Again, I have zero issue with this as headcanon--I really am not coming for anyone who holds it as such! My only disagreement is when it's put forth as Fact, and like anyone who takes a different view of canon is wrong and is trying to tear down Merrill.

Because like all my faves in this series, it is possible for a character to be good and compelling and interesting and even right about a lot of things without being right about everything all the time.

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Okay we'll take this one for whatever values of "so many people," because at this point I don't really see this one come up all that much, but as a huge Sera fan, I do not understand the appeal of the "Sera is Andruil/has a fragment of Andruil" fan theory, and I don't think I ever will.

For one thing, by the end of Trespasser we know that Solas and Mythal are walking around in the waking world still because they are exceptions. The rest of the Evanuris are not hiding among mortals. We know where the others are! They're in the Fade! Solas trapped them there! That was a pretty significant thing that happened!

For another, Solas and Andruil were not friends. If Sera was or was carrying a piece of Andruil, and Solas recognized her, I think he would have reacted strongly. Maybe he wouldn't be capable of killing her on the spot in his current state, but also I sort of doubt he would be walking around gently prodding her to remember who she is.

The theory also seems to be partially based on the misapprehension that Sera's archery skills are somehow magical, which I've already talked about.

But also, and more importantly to me personally, I feel like it just ruins Sera's character. Sera's story is that of a young adult with a lot of unrecovered childhood trauma, and deep issues with identity, rejection, and abandonment, still trying to find a place where she belongs and discover what she believes about the world. What does her unwittingly carrying around a piece of an elven god add to that? What does it add to her painful memories of Lady Emmald, to her sense of alienation from other city elves? It undermines the perspective she brings to the Inquisition as a commoner, a Nobody who is proud of being nobody. It completely ruins her relationship with Solas, turning them from a fascinating set of foils (the ancient elf who broke the world vs. the modern elf who is in so many ways the product of the world he created) into just two ancients arguing with each other. If anything, it feels like papering over everything that makes her complicated and interesting in an attempt to "fix" her: Look, she is Elfy after all! She's the Elfiest!

Sera doesn't need to be secretly an ancient goddess to be a compelling character.

#merrill #sera #dragon age stuff #ask anne #ask meme #choose violence ask game #fivekoboldsinacoat #blunders of thedas

38 notes · View notes

elf-osamu · 2 years

Note

dazai, chuuya and funni glasses man (doppo) when their child beat up a bully or just someone trying to kill them? —🦆 anon

hi !! <3 i wanted to write something similar to crack but my writing skills aren't so great lately so uhm these are kind of fluff/comfort scenarios 😭😭 hope you enjoy them !

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

DAZAI, CHUUYA AND KUNIKIDA WHEN THEIR CHILD BEAT UP A BULLY

[ masterlist ]

fluff/comfort, platonic relationship, osamu dazai, chuuya nakahara, doppo kunikida (separately) w/ a gn!child (they can be interpreted as the reader)

warning(s) : none that i can think of ! (it's not proofread)

words count : 576 words

plot : “their child beat up a bully. what are their reactions?”

OSAMU DAZAI :

[ ☆ ] at first, he would be quite surprised.

[ ☆ ] he doesn't use violent methods anymore, or at least not as frequently as he did in the past.

[ ☆ ] therefore, without having an aggressive figure to be taken as an example to follow, he wondered where his child learned such manners.

[ ☆ ] but, you know what? osamu is relieved by the fact that his child stood up for themself, that they took care of themself.

[ ☆ ] however, his heart is filled with worry at the thought of his kid being bullied.

[ ☆ ] if they had to choose to use violence, something had to happen. something bad.

[ ☆ ] he is a caring father and would reassure his child about anything.

[ ☆ ] the principal is going to hear about his complaints.

[ ☆ ] and if he doesn't do anything, well, osamu will take care of it.

[ ☆ ] while meeting the bully's parents, he would excuse his child for their actions.

[ ☆ ] however once they are alone, dazai will compliment his kid.

[ ☆ ] not without explaining to them that force should be used only when necessary, of course.

CHUUYA NAKAHARA :

[ ☆ ] in all honesty, he would be proud of his kid: they are strong and capable, they successfully defended themself against injustice — probably thanks to his teachings of close combat.

[ ☆ ] how could he not be glad to know that his child has adequately stood up for themself?

[ ☆ ] “... we are sorry to inform you that your child used violence against one classmate of theirs. your presence is kindly requested at the school presidency for discussing this unfortunate matter.”

[ ☆ ] “my kid would never dream of doing such an act, unless it proved strictly necessary.”

[ ☆ ] “sir, even if that were the case, that's not the point—”

[ ☆ ] imo he could be slightly more protective than the usual.

[ ☆ ] but, of course, he isn't an irresponsable parent.

[ ☆ ] chuuya would make sure to medicate any possible bruises or wounds, while listening to his child explaining the situation.

[ ☆ ] before anyone else, he'll listen to his child and his child only.

DOPPO KUNIKIDA :

[ ☆ ] he would scold his kid for a while, wanting to be a classic good father figure.

[ ☆ ] however.......

[ ☆ ] he works at the armed detective agency. of course he taught his kid a few things about self-defense. what kind of father would he be if he didn't properly take care of his child?

[ ☆ ] though this kind of situations is a real nuisance to deal with.

[ ☆ ] in the depth of his heart, he's lofty of his child; his teachings have served their purpose.

[ ☆ ] “i'm not supposed to say this, nevertheless... you did well by defending yourself. i'm proud of you, kiddo.”

[ ☆ ] i would legitimately cry if doppo said this to me/pos.

[ ☆ ] but !! he would be quite clear about never use brute force with classmates !! it's not worth it.

[ ☆ ] doppo will demand a colloquy with the bully's parents. perhaps, even more than one.

[ ☆ ] yes, he is that kind of parent.

[ ☆ ] and it's okay because we all love doppo <3 <3 <3 <3.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[ do not copy, translate, repost, etc. | by @ elf-osamu ]

240 notes · View notes

valthevalkyrie · 1 year

Text

The Philtre (4)

The Run. The Hunt. The Choosing. The Devotion. A series of events traditionally used to test skill, wits, honor, loyalty, virility, and survival. If you can’t catch your Omega, or any Omega for that matter, you were never worthy of them to begin with. Curtis has his eyes on the Omega who's been Unclaimed for the past seventeen years.

Pairing: alpha!Curtis x omega!reader (tall, mid 30s) Word Count: 3.6 k SeriesWarnings: NONCON/DUBCON, A/B/O, canon style violence, tall!reader, reader is 6', Curtis is 6'4", language, fighting, explicit smut, rough sex, hate sex, possessiveness, jealousy, probably incorrect descriptions of archery type things A/N: I'm so sorry this is nine months late!! i got stuck on a part and lost my muse. But good news (?) I was laid off last week and will have a couple months free to write more. Special thanks to @brunetteavenger for all your kind words on the last chapter, I'd look at them all the time to motivate myself. Hope you enjoy 💕

This is a (soft!dark/dark) fic, and contains the usual elements and themes in dark!fics. It is explicit in every sense of the word. PROCEED WITH CAUTION IF YOUVE READ AND UNDERSTAND ALL WARNINGS.

masterlist series masterlist

They trade shifts after four hours, the moon’s light making its way through the foliage, making the forest floor sparkle like reflections in the water. After what feels like 30 minutes she finds herself being woken up again by Yona. “Wake up,” she whispers. “Someone is coming.”

“Handle them.”

“No,” Yona taps the center of her chest. “Something’s not right.”

She sighs. As tired as she is, she sits up and mentally prepares herself to fight again. Her best student was proving to be a not so great companion for a Run. She drugged herself and was now refusing to handle intruders even though she was more than capable. But she had to have faith in the girl’s Intuition as it was one of the strongest she’d ever encountered. “Make sure all the weapons are in the tent, then stay inside.”

Although her eyes itch from lack of sleep, she makes room for Yona who comes back in soon after, weapons in hand. When she goes to take the girl’s place outside, she’s pulled back. “No. Something’s not right. You must stay inside.”

With the help of the moon, she could see the young girl’s fear. She can’t help the confused furrow of her brow. Why would she need to hide? She understood Yona’s hesitation due to her lack of experience, but it made no sense for her to be hiding as well.

“Can you sense how many there are?”

Yona just shakes her head.

Her mentor scratches at her ear and looks down, contemplating her choices. She was never one to cower away from anything, although she eventually nodded her head. With every pull of the zipper, less and less light made its way into the tent. When she zips the tent shut, the darkness is almost overwhelming. It didn’t take long for their eyes to adjust to the darkness and although there wasn’t much light coming in, they could make each other out.

“Be sure to focus on your breathing and calm your heart. Let them think we’re sleeping.”

She hears a twig break in the distance as she finishes instructing Yona. The girls strain their ears, listening out for the intruder’s next move. They can’t smell them at this distance, so they’re not sure yet what their designation is.

Things are quiet for a while and she can’t tell where the intruder has gone until she hears the shift of leaves on branches at what should be the entrance to their little clearing. If she weren’t so quiet right now, she’d have missed it.

Whoever they are, they're light on their feet. She can’t hear them walking, but she can sense them getting closer.

The feeling of being watched starts to set in. She knows they can’t see her, but eyes are on their tent all the same.

The closer they get, the more a bitter twang begins to settle in her nose. They must be an alpha. An arrogant alpha, because the more they approach the tent, the heavier their footsteps get.

Either they think they’re too asleep to wake up to the sounds of their footsteps or they just don’t care at this point if the girls wake up.

The footsteps slowly but surely circle the tent at a distance, and with every lap they get closer until they stop at the entrance to the tent. The older of the two slowly gets a grip on her hatchet as they wait with baited breath for the entrance to open.

As they wait, the heat in the tent increases, no breeze to filter through as their temperatures rise. The girls are sweating, one shaking with fear and the other with fury. Yona twitches violently, a sign that her cramps are worsening. Her hand searches for her godmother’s and when she finds it, she squeezes it tight. The older woman can hear Yona begin to pant as the pain builds. In an effort to make sure no sound escapes the young girl, she redirects the hand holding hers to Yona’s mouth. Right as their fingers brush over her cheek, a clear whine escapes and everything stills.

The intrusion to the tent never comes. Instead, the footsteps begin to circle the tent once again except they got further out. Over and over again the mystery alpha circles them, breathing harder every time. Farther and closer, farther and closer. Just when they think the intruder might have left, they start their pacing once again. Teasing them, surely knowing they’re awake at this point.

On the latest rotation the footsteps stop once again at the mouth of the tent and the harsh breathing outside stops. Instead of opening it, the alpha presses their face against the fabric and takes in a deep breath, deep enough that the fabric makes an imprint of their nostrils.

Enough bullshit, the older omega thinks and slams the handle of the hatchet into the nose of the intruding alpha.

They cry out and she rushes to open the tent, Yona’s efforts to pull her back useless. When she makes it out she sees a familiar face, their scent hitting her at full force.

“Franco.” There was a reason she couldn’t tell who it was, the old man’s usual scent was as bitter and rank as they come. “Why are you here?”

“The same reason any of us are here,” he gurgles through a broken nose. “To find a mate.”

While her godmother had a respectful reputation, Franco’s was anything but. He had a history of mates who died young, only two produced him heirs. One died young and the surviving one was no better than him. No one who had any self respect associated themselves with them.

Until Wilford took over the clan.

He gave Franco the Elder and Franco the Young positions of enforcement, giving them the freedom to harass who they liked with minimal repercussions. The power had gotten to their heads.

“If I remember correctly my last words to you were that if I were to see you again, I would kill you.”

“Your exact words were, ‘if you try to mate me again I will kill you’. I’m not here for you, you’ve aged out of your value.” His gaze settles behind her. “I’m here for her.”

She does nothing to hide her noise of disgust. “That’s not going to happen.”

“The code of honor dictates I be given a fair try.”

She turns to look at the girl who is sweating profusely and clutching her stomach. Yona was in no shape to fight. Franco was right, the code of honor gave him the right to a fair try, but she couldn’t risk the young girl’s life. If the fight didn’t kill her, a life with him would.

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.”

“Oh please,” she sneers. “You couldn’t kill me if you tried.”

“Let us not forget who left you that scar,” he indicates to the one on her eye, “in your prime.”

“I was seventeen.” She gave a dark laugh. “I was nowhere near my prime.” She considers him for a moment. “Leave now, and I give you my word that I will not kill you.”

“I would rather you give your word to let me have a go at the youngling.” He takes a step closer as he wipes at the blood coming out of his nose.

She sneers, “take one more step and-”

Yona calls her name. When she turns, she sees the girl in obvious pain but with a fire in her eyes.

What her mentor doesn’t know is that Franco the Elder had been following her around their town, whispering profanities at her. Dark promises of how she would be his and all that he would do to her.

It ends tonight.

Everything she had done until this point was in an effort to perform without the looming greatness of her godmother’s reputation. Regardless of her failure in that venture, she knew she had to do this for herself. Her intuition had made her aware of Franco’s lurking even when he wouldn’t approach her.

“I’ll have a look at his offering.”

“Oh, I have no offering,” he sneered. “I prefer the combat method of The Choosing.”

With obvious effort, she straightens her posture and her hand leaves her abdomen. “Fine.”

“Yona, no.” Her godmother turns to her. “There is no need to prove your abilities. I know how capable you are.”

“This isn’t for you. It’s for me.”

There is obvious conflict in her face as she deliberates. She’s close to saying no and fighting Franco herself, when she sees the determination in Yona’s face.

“Very well, then.” She turns to Franco. “You may have your chance.”

Franco grins, his teeth red with blood.

“No weapons. You fight as equals.”

Franco makes a show of throwing down his only weapon, a hunting knife. Yona had no weapons on her to begin with.

She moves in front of her mentor, taking a deep breath to center herself. As she settles into a fighting stance, Franco’s grin widens. He follows her movements in an exaggerated manner.

“I can smell your cunt from here, little one.”

Yona says nothing, adjusting her stance.

“You’d best prepare yourself for a life with me.”

Still nothing.

“I can’t wait to feel your virgin cunt squeeze me tight.”

She pays him no mind and focuses on the task at hand and doing her best to push aside the pain. While she made a fool of herself the entire Run so far-ignoring common sense and years of training-she knew better than to make the first move.

So she waited while filth spewed from his lips. The longer she waited and said nothing, the angrier he got.

“You stupid little bitch. If you thought my other mates had it bad, just wait until I get my claim on you.” And he swung.

She ducked and jabbed at his face but he dodged the hit. She set out with another hit but he grabbed her hand, pulling her close while slapping her in the face.

The hit was enough to make her lose her sense of direction for a moment and he took advantage and pulled her by her hair. He pulled her back to his front and took a deep breath of her hair.

“I knew you wouldn’t put up much of a fight. I knew your dirty little cunt wanted me.” He inhaled her scent again and groaned. “You’re the sweetest one, yet.”

Yona took advantage of his distraction and slammed her elbow into his diaphragm, winding him. As soon as he let go she spun around and punched him in the face. Right hook. Left hook. Uppercut.

She takes him by the shoulders and slams her knee into his abdomen and lets him fall to the ground, wheezing.

Yona bends down. “You may be bigger but you’re old and slow. I reject your offering and deny you my devotion.”

As she turns to walk away, he grabs her foot and twists it while bringing her down to the ground with him. Yona’s chin hits the ground on her way down and the pain of the fall and her heat blinds her while Franco’s hands wrap around her neck.

“I never yielded, you stupid fucking cunt.”

Yona’s hands scramble trying to catch his but he just squeezes harder, straddling her legs and pinning her down.

Yona’s godmother watches on in horror, waiting for the girl to break free from Franco’s hold. But she doesn’t. As the seconds wear on and she sees Yona’s face start to turn blue, she knows she must throw out the code of honor if she wants to save the life of her ward.

She tightens her hold on her hatchet and rushes forward, slamming the handle into the side of his head. When he falls over, she adjusts her grip and swings down with as much force as she can, lodging the ax in his skull.

Dropping next to Yona, she moves to give the breath of life to the youngling. A few tense moments and frantic breaths later and Yona begins to cough.

Her godmother sobs in relief and mutters a quick and thankful prayer to the Mother.

About fifteen minutes later Yona is sat near the campfire with a blanket from her pack wrapped around her. The temperature had seemed to drop dramatically after her close call with death. Her heat had intensified, making her feel cold and the sweat on her body only made her feel colder. She was borderline delirious.

“How are you feeling?”

Yona whimpers as another cramp wracks through her body. “Why does it hurt so much?”

“Well, our heats have been provoked and you haven’t had many to begin with. They get easier to deal with over time.” She places a hand on Yona’s knee. “You did very well for your first Choosing fight.”

“Didn’t yield,” Yona groaned.

“That aside, you did very well. I’m proud of you.” She runs a hand over Yona’s sweaty hair, making her way to her back to give her a few soothing rubs. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes.”

The older omega makes her way to the bags. Her brow furrowed in confusion as she double and triple checked them.

“Where’s all the food?” There’s no answer. “Yona. Did you eat all of the food?”

The girl’s whimper serves as her answer.

She sighs. “For the love of the gods, Yona.”

The only time she could’ve had to eat what was left of the food was during her short watch, her cravings a result of her heat. It could also have been the nerves. Gods know the girl had been wracked with them since the beginning.

She pinched her nose, took a deep breath and looked back at the girl. “Alright. What’s done is done. We can only move forward. I will go hunting.”

“D’you wan’me to come?”

“Absolutely not. You can barely stand. You can barely talk. I need you to stay in camp.” As she gathered her weapons Yona doubled over again in pain. “Come. Sit here.” She helped Yona sit closer to the fire. “Did you bring your bow?” The girl shook her head. She sighs. “Here. Take mine.”

“How’ll you hunt?”

“Don’t worry about that. I want you to stay focused. Anyone comes in, you shoot first, ask questions later.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good.” She grabs her pack and heads over to Franco’s body, struggling a bit to take the hatchet from his skull. Pinning his head down with her foot, she yanks it out. “Now, be sure to drink plenty of water while I’m gone, don’t leave the camp, and for the love of the gods do not fall asleep.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She nods and turns her back to the girl. Her chest is tight and her shoulders tense. She doesn’t like the idea of leaving the girl alone. Although she did a good enough job fighting off Franco the Elder, the fact that her ankle was most likely fractured and her heat was getting worse worried her. She could only pray to the Mother that Yona had enough strength to fight through the pain once more if anyone breached their camp.

She can’t help but compare Yona’s first Choosing fight with her own during her first Philtre.

She’d turned down a few offerings for The Choosing by the time an alpha decided her first answer wouldn’t be enough.

He was a belligerent old fool who had been tired of being alone for so long. He demanded she fight with him. And fight with him she did. Her anger got the best of her and she killed him before he had a chance to yield.

She knew of the rumors of her stringing up alpha’s intestines like a garland and placing their heads on spikes. It was mostly true. It was not her promised who became her first kill, it was the old man. Her fury over her promised not coming for her as they had agreed had consumed her. In her mind, she was at war with any and all alphas who dared approach her with no respect in mind.

Thank the gods Yona turned out so different to her. Sure, she was different enough that she made incredibly poor decisions in the heat of the moment, but she was different enough that she couldn’t see her turning out as bloodthirsty as she had become.

As she makes her way through the wood, she goes surveying the ground, trying to find any kind of tracks. It’ll be a little harder to hunt without her bow and arrow, but she should be able to make some traps.

Disregarding the deer tracks she finds, she instead zeroes in on the rabbit tracks, moving slowly once she finds its burrow. Retrieving the necessary materials, she constructs a simple snare. Once that’s done, she settles down a ways away and waits and hopes it doesn’t take too much time. She doesn’t want to leave Yona alone for too long in her condition.

After waiting for about ten minutes, she hears a rustling behind her. Turning her head, she catches a whiff of alpha. Rolling her eyes, she stays sitting, hoping they don’t notice her so she can have peace while waiting for her food.

It doesn’t work out in her favor.

A breeze passes by and she shuts her eyes in frustration as she hears the footsteps stop once her scent reaches them. They slowly make their way to her and as they get closer, she can make out several pairs of footsteps.

Eventually they make their way to her, surrounding the tree she’s sitting against. She pays them no mind, inspecting the dirt underneath her fingernails.

One of them calls out her name.

She looks up and can’t help the smirk that twists her lips. “Franco the Younger.”

“How are you doing on this fine evening?”

“I’m doing just fine. Just waiting around.”

“For what,” a woman asks.

“For an alpha like one of us, obviously,” Franco answers. “I’m not sure if any of you are aware, but we are in the presence of the longest reigning Unclaimed in the clan.”

Sparks of interest erupt in the eyes of the other four alphas.

“Sorry to burst your bubble, Frankie, but I’m planning to round out my Unclaimed years at an even eighteen. Possibly even twenty.”

“You just haven’t had someone like one of us to try for your hand.”

“I’ve rejected many types of alphas over the years. Your father being one of them.”

“Ah, but he was close,” Franco traced the shape of her scar over his own eye.

“That’s fair,” she nods. “How about I make the same deal with you that I did with your father not too long ago. Leave now, and I give you my word that I will not kill you.”

Franco and his goons laugh. “There is no way my father took that deal.”

“You’re right,” she takes her pack off her lap and situates it next to her. “That’s why he’s dead.”

“Impossible,” he growls.

“You see this blood?” She lifts her hatchet. “It’s certainly not mine coating it.”

His lip curls in fury. “This bitch is mine.”

Slowly rising to her full height, the others could not have done a worse job at hiding their shock when they all took a step back. Caked in the blood from earlier, covered by the darkness of the night, and six feet tall, she was sure she was quite the sight.

She places her ax in its holster at her thigh, making sure the blade is covered. Walking out into the light of the moon, she makes sure to bump shoulders with him as she walks past. “Let’s get this over with. I have places to be.”

Like father, like son, Franco the Younger pulls out a large hunting knife.

“I’m going to gut you like a fish,” he growls.

“I’d like to see you try.”

They circle each other for a beat before he lunges for her. She grabs his hand, throwing an elbow to his face and turning into his body before slamming an elbow to his gut.

Disarming him as he catches his breath, she turns and jams the knife into his neck. His eyes are wide as they look into hers, mouth gaping as he falls to his knees. She places her foot at his chest and kicks him back to pull the knife out of his neck.

As he bleeds out onto the forest floor she turns to the others.

Everything stills for a moment.

An animal squeals in the distance.

The alphas rush at her and she slits the neck of the one closest to her. She spins out of the way of his falling body and uses that momentum to throw the knife into the chest of the next one.

The third alpha tackles her to the ground. She throws a punch to her face and tries to push it back. The alpha tries to wrap her hands around the omega’s neck and they struggle a bit before the omega takes a deep breath and goes limp. This gave the woman on top an opening to choke her.

The alpha’s distraction gave the omega the chance to reach for the ax strapped to her thigh. With a practiced hand, she quickly unsheathed it and swung at the woman on top of her.

Blood spattered her face as the ax struck the alpha’s head. She quickly pushed her off before looking for the last alpha.

He was laying face first on the ground with an ax in his back.

As she rushed to her feet, a tall figure came out of the shadows.

Her eyes widened. In the heat of the moment, she hadn’t caught the new scent in the air. “Curtis,” she breathes.

They stare at each other for a beat before he breaks the silence.

“Why’d you tell the kid I was dead?”

A/N: You have no idea how long I've been wanting to write that last part 😩 It was one of the first scenes that popped into my mind once I had the series idea fleshed out. Please, please, please tell me what you think, I'd love to know your reaction to that last bit lol

P.S. can anyone teach me how to make skinnier dividers that have a transparent background? mine never work no matter how hard i try lol

#curtis everett x reader #curtis x reader #alpha!curtis x omega!reader #alpha!curtis everett #val writes

18 notes · View notes

blood--king · 8 months

Note

🎁 for everyone!

Questions for Immortals/Ancients

【🎁】　Name one thing that never gets old or loses its charm for you.

“Hmm...it is an interesting question. There are a lot of things that I consider charming, for example, having long walks, feeling the air on my face and my hair, seeing my people around and being aware of their gratitude, or maybe going outside the walls in the night, sensing the darkness covering me, stay still on a hill looking at the night sky. I am not sure if someone else finds this as charming as I do, but for me, no matter how many millennia pass, it is a wonderful activity”.

“One thing that never loses its charm? Easy, picnics, they are great to relax and connect with those you care about, friends, family or That special someone. Your are in contact with nature at an open place were you can run, fly or simply lie down and rest. I used to have a picnic every weekend with my first friends, we used to bring a grill and cook bunny meat. Hmhmhm, but some of them preferred to hunt a boar, demons love meat”

“What kind of question is that? As if I had time to execute some "charming" activities. Do you want to know something that never gets old? Cruelty, wars, evil, the mortals and the divine beings are so different from each other, but souls are souls, and there will always be an edge for benevolence, but violence has no limits... Nevertheless, I think there Is something I could consider "charming". Go to a beach with a cliff, sit down on the top of it and wait for the dusk, you're welcome”.

“Hmm, it will sound obvious because of my job but let me explain myself. In my opinion, something that will never lose its charm are the fancy clothes. I am de Duchess of Love, I'm in charge of a spy division, I receive reports of different cultures every day and let me tell you, clothes are "evolving" into simpler and apparently more comfortable styles, but then what's the point? Elegance allows people to express themselves with a physical representation of the crust of their hearts. We all have secrets and weaknesses, that's why we put our best faces for the rest of the world, but those clothes have no juice or thrill, simple blouses, simple pants, simple t-shirts and coats, people just choose to be simple. Our kingdom chooses to be elegant because we show our best selves, every person looks original. That's what I do with my company, I design original clothes for those who want to see themselves reflected on an outfit, and for me it is the most charming aspect people can have”.

“I have never find myself in the need to be charming, that social complex is something I will never understand. Whether it is flirting or making friends, I find that extremely ridiculous. In my times we just took what we wanted, we were a species in danger fighting for survive. Friends? Friends are those who are next to you on the battlefield, those who help you find a cure to an illness or a potion to be stronger. And if you wanted to have someone, just go and tell the father of that person and it will happen, unless you are a useless piece of crushed tomato”.

“Ho~? So, you want to know what is that charming thing I consider eternal, huh? There are a lot of things I will never get bored of. There are so many exquisite deeds I have done in my life, so many different tortures, physical and psychological, hmm~”

“I could say eating a human's heart, every single moment of that is simply amazing, opening their chests, seeing their bones cracking and their blood painting the floor and walls, looking at those frightened eyes, their mouths full of blood and foam, ha~ they aren't even capable of screaming no more; and on the top of everything, grabbing their hearts, having their lives between my fingers, waiting to be swallowed. Mmm~ so nostalgic~ so hungry~ just like when dad used to tie humans on our dinner table. Fufufu~”

“However, it will not be my answer, that thing that never gets old although it is simple and sober, is the classical neck bite. What can I say? I'm a polite gentleman”.

“Sex. Next question”.

#ask #◢【🌌】 nɪx #questions for immortal/ancient #hell bloodborne #dark kruger #nost darkweb #lilith #killian sulius #vlad bloodborne #hal bloodborne #oc #blood king

3 notes · View notes

sword-dad-fukuzawa · 2 years

Note

hi there! i watched mars red because of you and now i'm extremely [feelings?????] because of it! i thought you might be amused by this. there's...so much i want to chew on about this anime but i thought i'd ask you first: what are your thoughts and feelings on suwa's characterization? i'm obsessed with him but also i cannot articulate a single coherent thought about him

THIS DOES BRING ME INFINITE JOY ACTUALLY!! I love converting people to my favorite dramatic vampire anime. I too was very [feelings?????] after watching it. I think that is the common experience and it is top tier. This will be very long, by the way.

Okay, Suwa is very interesting. He has such a nuanced characterization that is mostly conveyed through a lot of indirect channels--conversations with other characters, a singular flashback iirc, and these lingering asides when no one else is around. It makes him such a fun character and also really difficult to get a handle on. If I were to boil him down to a set of simple character traits, I'd go with principled, jaded, and kind.

So, did you notice? Suwa's story always revolves around a young female figure. The first person who gets him to both literally and figuratively take his mask off is Akesato, the fifteen-year-old prostitute in episode 4. The person he develops the deepest connection to is the vampire girl, Ayame, at the end, who he eventually ends up taking under his wing on the boat.

(ty @nocandnc for reminding me of her name!!)

To everyone else in the anime, Suwa is closed off at best and antagonistic at worst (this is slightly different in the manga though, fun fact--he gets a lot of scenes with Takeuchi).

And I think this is just such a clever way to characterize Suwa. I can't remember how much this is discussed in the anime, but we learn that Suwa had a little sister.

There's this extremely painful manga panel where he's getting turned by a whole pack of vampires, and he's covered in blood on a boat, and yet all he's looking at is the crouched figure of a little girl. And before the vampires can get her, he tosses her overboard and cries for her to swim, to live.

And this is the core of Suwa's character. He protects children, and he's defined by having his last act as a human be to protect his little sister. He doesn't even know if she survived.

Which, you know, in a pretty masterful demonstration of "take a positive character trait to its extreme, resulting in a flaw," means he kills child vampires. He doesn't want them to experience how terrible and scary it is to be a child vampire--save them from his fate. It's a pretty brilliant example of character growth when he decides he's going to spare Ayame and instead take care of her, going from a lone wolf into a real protector.

(She's an anime-only character, and I think her existence adds a lot to Suwa's arc.)

Like!! Look at this man!! He cares about kids!!

^^ Those are hands capable of great violence (as we see in the rest of the show) and yet he's gently guiding this vampire kid to a safe distance from Kurusu. I'm in my feelings about it.

And here, in this scene--he comforts Ayame with the blunt kindness that Suwa is known for. Because he's been in her position.

I also want to mention how Suwa, despite being so adamant that vampires aren't human, spends a lot of time watching plays and watching singers and being around human society. This is a guy who's seen the worst of humanity in his 300-odd years of being a vampire, and yet he chooses to enjoy the best parts of us.

And he wants to be a part of that.

It's also pretty significant that despite having seen the worst of us, he's still voluntarily part of a military squad protecting humans.

They might talk a lot about how it's mandatory for vamps to join because otherwise you'll be killed, but it's Suwa. He's been around for 300 years, dodging other vampires and vamp-hunters. They can't make him do anything.

I love Suwa because he doesn't act nice. He's cold, standoffish, kind of an asshole half the time. See this panel:

He values competency and won't wait for you to catch up. But Kurusu gets it right, what kind of person he is:

...He's also a little bit crazy, which is valid, considering what happened to him.

And batshit funny. (Hehe. Get it? Bats? Cuz he's- yeah okay sorry)

On a more serious note, I also feel like Suwa is characterized by a lot of regrets. This man carries a lot of guilt, and a lot of memories. In thhe manga, he says about Akesato:

I should've sang her a song...

And then gets Takeuchi to teach him how to sing (he's not good at it, but he's trying). It's...thoughtful. And telling about what sort of person Suwa is.

Anyway, I'm going to end this with my favorite panel of Suwa from the manga, which sums up a lot of his character development in both the anime and manga. His last lines in both adaptations are also pretty telling, I think. In the anime, it's:

Want to go see the "new world" together for a change of pace?

It signifies his willingness to change and to grow, having been wandering Japan for his whole life.

And in the manga?

#thank you SO MUCH for this ask!! i love suwa #and i wanted a chance to talk about how awesome he is!!#glad u enjoyed mars red btw :) 10/10 reccommend checking out the manga #it's fully fan tl-ed AND yenpress (or is it seven seas?) is releasing the last volume this month iirc #in eng #the manga and the anime are both very good in diff ways and i think there's a lot of value in consuming both adaptations tbh #anyway. yes. :) ty.#mars red #suwa #aurie character analysis

27 notes · View notes

biwritesfics · 1 year

Text

Dead Girls Don’t Die

Part 1: We’ve got a live one

Characters: MCU Tony Stark and Matt Murdock with female witch OC

Warnings: General mentions of death and violence, Abuse against minor by parent. Allusion to NonCon, mention of suicide, just a lot of trauma in general. Read at your own risk ⚠️

AN: I posted this on A03 so I thought I should post here too. Heads up the idea is that the main girl can see ghosts and she has a crap ton of trauma.

Word count 2.3k (sorry if it’s too long)

——————————————

The cold was delicious; it draped over me like a blanket, the edges kissing my skin and caressing my soul. It slowly slipped away leaving me shaking, not from chill, but from power. The witches had been coming for days offering their knowledge. Women from so many different eras with rich and diverse skills.

The dark witches always seemed to stick, all but the chaos they said they belonged to another. They bid me goodbye, placing kisses on my cheek and whispering blessings in my ears. I had always loved the spirits. Most are satisfied with one meeting or they choose to come and go, but a few stayed. Mostly the women, it was a sisterhood connection of sorts. Alice Brody, a 23 year old 1950s housewife, killed her husband for cheating on her after learning of her infertility.

Alice occupied her time in “The Grey” as the spirits called it by taking on a maternal role with me. She gave great housekeeping and sewing advice I was capable of multiple elaborate 50s style hairdos and whenever someone hurt me she comforted me by explaining exactly how she would murder them. Most female killers preferred poison. Alice was not like most.

Joan the depression era pickpocket eternally age 14. She could get into just about anywhere while human so she enjoyed the freedom of her specter- like form. She was stabbed to death over a five dollar debt. She still insists it was better than starving. Dorothy Montie rising star of the cotton club. Her voice was haunting, do deep and sad it could swallow you up. I don't know how she died, all I know is that it was bad and white men with Harlem accents send her running.

Wyatt, one of the few male ghosts, was a cowboy in New Mexico. He talked about his friend and fellow Cowboy Manuel like he was much more than that to him. He wouldn't let me summon him though and despite my hints at modern terms he refused to admit his feelings out loud.

Martin was the other man who stuck around. He was huge and his body was riddled with scars but he called me Miss Sylvia in the softest voice. I had told him that he didn't have to call me Miss but he had scolded me “Ms.Sylvia it ain't nothing like that, you've been good to me and good women are deserving of respect.” He had another name in life but in his words “Since I'm a free man now I oughta have a free name.”

With the aid of my reading skills and multiple history books from the institute's library, he had settled on Martin. No one could be perfect when it came to the topic of race, but despite the fact it wasn't his job Martin sure did help keep all of us in check. He taught himself how to read, and we had a system that whenever he tapped my hand I turned the page for him. Now with concentration he could do it on his own. He was honestly more educated on the current political climate than I was. In my defense he didn't need to sleep.

Being the most modern I had the fewest problems ( note fewest not nonexistent) but the others needed some work. Even though Dorothy had lived in a time with more rights she struggled with believing she was worth it. I wish I could help her but giving my opinion on her no matter how kind wouldn't help. It would only cement the idea that other people’s opinions controlled her. Martin coaxed her out of her shell. They made me believe in true love. How morbid that the best example of a healthy relationship had was two dead people from times nearly seven decades apart.

There was a nun Sister Anne who popped in from time to time. Child ghosts could scare the crap out of you especially if they weren't verbal but I had only ever encountered one who was dangerous. They mostly just wanted to play or be held and talked too. Alice adored them and I had to admit I did too.

“You doing alright Darling, I saw you had another visitor,” she smooths my hair with her cool fingers. Ghosts could be anywhere from seemingly the same temperature as my skin, to cold enough to leave red marks on my body. Alice just felt like someone with poor circulation. “I'm alright, it gets easier every time,” I reassure her.” “It must be such a queer feeling, absorbing another person.” “It's really not they just leave their knowledge, I know how to read ancient languages and cast spells like I know 1+1=2.”

“Cole you have visitors, time for cuffs,” one of the male orderlies shouts unceremoniously. I look up annoyed. “ I oughta teach these brutes a lesson in manners,” Alice huffs, her gray-white tones flashing into color. Her eyes are this striking blue and her blonde hair is in the softest curls. The only harsh things are her blood red lips and nails, and of course the malice in her eyes.

“You can try later Alice. We need to know who the visitors are” I whisper. I stand in position as the guard places the cuffs. They had medicated me to near death and no change in my “Severe Schizophrenia”. So they kept me on low dose antipsychotics and cuffed me in the presence of other patients.

Doug the orderly was superstitious, he recited the exorcism from the exorcist every time he had to check on me. God himself couldn't stop me from killing him if I wanted to so it was pretty useless. Lucky enough for Doug I didn't want to kill him. We had a ghostly entourage as he led me out to the visiting area. The news of living visitors brought everyone out from the grey.

Two men were waiting. One was definitely blind and most definitely a lawyer. The second was wearing an overpriced suit and a little too much confidence for his own good. As we neared I realized the latter was Tony Stark. It was impossible to escape tabloid magazines even living under the rock that was Michael Bronlittle’s hospital for the criminally insane.

“You can take the shackles off of Miss cole” the lawyer speaks. He had the seal of approval from Sister Anne “a good Catholic boy” Alice was raving about how handsome he was and Martin had heard of his humanitarian work in NewYork. He was good in my book. “Are you sure sir, she's killed two men?” Doug sounds shocked that he even considered it.

“Doug look me in the eyes” I say exasperated. I turn around and he looks at me like I might bite him. “Doug if I had any desire to harm you I would have done it by now, I have been here seven years and the only trouble I have ever caused was Jackson three years ago.”

“We both know for a fact he wasn't checking on me just like he wasn't checking on Marcie before she got pregnant and just like he wasn't checking on April before she killed herself.” I can see in his eyes he knows, everyone knew. I was going to end on that note but then I remembered I had a promise to fulfill.

“Also before you go your Aunt Perla says you need to man up and propose to Rebecca already and the secret ingredient in her pound cake is just sour cream not anything fancy.” Perla was a dear, but she was ready to go upstairs and didn't have the energy to deliver the message herself. He goes silent then he sputters and stutters. “We’ll take our chances with Curly Sue Lady of Darkness” Stark Quips. Doug uncuffs me and leaves locking the door behind him. He’d be okay. Eventually.

“Have a seat Ms.Cole?” says the Lawyer “Matthew, Matt Murdock” Martin informs me. “You can call me Sylvia Mr. Murdock, as can you Mr.Stark, it's best to be on a first-name basis with a girl before she performs a seance or discusses her motive for murder.” I state simply sitting down across from them.

“Manners Darling, small talk, polite language.” Alice reminds me looking disdainfully at the shocked faces in front of me. “Oh I'm terribly sorry I'm quite rusty when it comes to conversation. I don't get visitors so I assumed those would be the only reasons someone would bother to come here. I apologize.”

“That's alright I like to cut to the chase, small talk is overrated,” says Stark taking off his shades.” We need to know about your Father he invented a certain device of sorts that we need to know about. It's for the sake of humanity.” My body stiffens and I feel Alice's embrace Wyatt steps forward placing a hand on my shoulder

“Alan has never been my father and he never will be, the last time I saw him was when I killed him and I would do it again. Anything he ever touched turned twisted and broken. Anything he created wouldn't be for the better of anything.” I can feel my nails digging into the skin of my palms and the phantom pains on the parts of my body I can't technically feel anymore.

“Anything at all would be incredibly helpful to our case.” Mr. Murdock urges gently. I feel the floodgates in my mind break open. “What I remember Mr.Murdock doesn't matter in any court of law. I'm just the psycho little girl, the murderous schizophrenic, Humanities little freak show to ogle from time to time,” I snap.

“Everyone says it's such a tragedy, what happened to my poor poor Father. What kind of little girl comes up with such horrible things!? What kind of monster murders her own father and blames it on ghosts!?” I mock the comments I've heard over the years, as hot tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.

“According to society and a multitude of mental health professionals, I'm a violent schizophrenic with extreme and vivid delusions,” I repeat the diagnosis that’s been told to me time and time again. “They say that the only thing in my life that gives it any meaning or inkling of joy is made up in my head,”

I pause for a ragged breath but they still don’t dare to interrupt me Some days I don't know if what my father did to me caused it or if he didn't even do anything at all.” The words are strained. “Even I know I am not sane Mr. Murdock, and I have more faith in myself than anyone else” I finish looking up at them with contempt in my eyes. “Memories, anything at all?,” Stark questions me.

He crossed an invisible line in my head. “What I remember was a man Who was a Sadistic Narcissistic Sociopath, a pedophile and a necrophile.” the list nearly makes me vomit. “A man who got off on my pain and my fear. A man who I know within my heart of hearts killed girls before I killed him.” I look in their eyes silently begging them to believe me.

“The man I know invented and built all manner of things to hurt a person no, a child and not leave a mark.” I’m seething at this point. “A monster so good at manipulating that he did it from his grave.” No one believed me not over him. “Mr.Murdock, Mr.Stark I remember a man that exists to no one except for me and the ghosts of little dead girls.”They're watching pale faces as one does when someone breaks down in front of you. Somehow I just know what I need to do.

“Tony, your mother loves you more than anything and she says that you shouldn't worry about living up to your father because you're ten times the man he ever was and a thousand times better Father. “Mattie I hope you really have the devil in you because God has no domain over where I'm sending you.”

I grab a file and a pen sitting on the table and I begin to write out the address. “Matthew, your father wanted me to remind you that you don't have to win every fight you just gotta survive 'em,” I say, trying not to imitate the man’s accent. “The well at the front of the estate is real but the one in the garden is a tunnel.” I turn to Stark. “I wouldn't recommend visiting all you'll see is your little girl or if I'm as insane as they say you'll find nothing.”

They both start to ask questions but I silence them. “I know what I know. I've already talked more today than I have my entire life,” Maybe it's a deathbed confession of sorts I think to myself. “I truly wish the best for both of you” . I pause cringing at the intense feelings in my body. “I'm sorry for not being able to help you more and for the fuss I'm about to cause.” I'm partially aware of the fall from my chair as I lose control of my body to a Grand mal seizure. I swear I can hear death and the devil laughing at the irony. How funny, a dead girl that's afraid of dying.

#fanfic #writing #marvel mcu #tony stark #matt murdock #dark!drabble #childhood trauma #witch oc #haunted #lawyer Matt Murdock #marvel #mcu fic #tony stark and teen OC #stark industries #matthew murdock #anthony stark #murder mystery #serial killer #the avengers

2 notes · View notes

malicious-compliance-esq · 2 years

Text

Censorship on AO3: A Poisoned Cup

Building on a truly excellent advocacy post by @nomercifulpercival I give you "why I hesitate to publish on AO3" in as concise an explanation as my racing mind can possibly offer. For the time being, I recognize that controlling my own content and the terms by which I share it with the world provides essential support for both my own healing and that of fellow survivors. If that changes, great. But I'm not there now and may never get there.

Almost like the admins at AO3 and other archive sites face intentional choices about how to handle complex social issues and the fraught personal histories that accompany them, wouldn't you say? How absolutely apt. I can only hope these choices get made with thoughtfulness, courage, and most of all humility. Their impact matters tremendously, as do our own voices and agency as survivors.

Shaming intersectionally marginalized people for using imagination and craft to explore difficult social themes and find healing in that process does extensive harm. It reproduces the very things it supposedly seeks to eradicate. Please, in the name of all that truly is good in this world, do not do this to people who are already hurting so much. Do not silence us. Do not demean our own hard-won understanding of what heals us. And do not gaslight us about what we experience in the process. People who do this kind of stuff become abusers themselves, full stop.

To wit: The times I had fingermark bruises and torn tissue and broken bones were always far outpaced by the times I walked around with injuries invisible to any clinical exam. The rending of our minds, the warping of everything we once trusted and held dear, takes much more time and exponentially more effort to heal.

Personally, I don't write live rape scenes in my fiction—fan or otherwise. I do frequently address the lasting impacts of sexual violence on both those who experience it and those who perpetrate it, and explore concepts of restorative justice. The carceral, punitive way we often deal with violence—both sexual and non-sexual—in society does tremendous harm that goes far beyond the initial impacts of an assault.

Having experienced these harms myself, I take interest in fiction that helps me and other survivors envision and realize alternate futures. Sometimes that involves writing directly about rape in-narrative and sometimes it does not. For every author who has my specific experiences, there are authors who approach things differently and find equal healing value in that. Whether or not a person writes rape into the action of their story is not the issue. Rather, the important distinction here is how they incorporate that content and get readers to engage with its implications.

By this point in my own journey as a sexual violence and domestic abuse survivor, I know full well how much it helps me to read stories that explicitly address the origins, dynamics, consequences, and aftermath of these phenomena.

I cannot possibly overstate the value—for myself and more fellow survivors than I can possibly count—how much it uplifts me to feel truly seen by a story. This explains much about why I got so interested in a specific sub-fandom for Outlander in the first place, and absolutely accounts for why I find so much healing and kinship from writing narrative and analysis within that universe. Restorative justice—whose specifics depend on both the people involved and the circumstances of their trauma—is the only thing that has truly helped me heal socially other than creative activity.

But sometimes I have to get my restorative justice through creative activity. I am hardly alone in this. Sometimes we give people every opportunity to make intentional choices to address trauma bonds and pursue different futures, and they demonstrate themselves to be fully capable of making those choices, and then still choose the path of harm out of cowardice and arrogance. This was my life in recent years. Eventually, I saw the writing on the wall and chose to do my own writing instead. And I felt my own future start to open up again.

So I write, and share, and discuss. I explore the multiple forked paths—from the darkly wrenching to the wryly humorous—that traumatized people walk in figuring out how to emerge from the shadows of both their own histories and the harm they have done to others in maladaptive response. In the process, I forge kinship with other survivors that I know I could never replace. Moreover, I examine my own toxic coping behaviors and pursue that same growth within myself, and support my peers in doing the same.

Writing is thinking. Art is healing. And censorship is just plain evil. We know what comes of ostracizing people for "deviance" that statistically and substantively is anything but. It's why I'm one of the only out bisexual faculty members at a university that has plenty of us employed, but often known only to one another. When we get sucked into fighting against one another for not performing survivorship, queerness, kink, craft, or even imagination itself the "right" way, our oppressors win. Because we lose the energy, focus, and solidarity needed to fight back against them.

Fiction addressing disturbing topics is not the enemy. Patriarchy, capitalism, and everything that goes along with them are. Indeed, much of the discussion surrounding so-called "depraved bisexual" characters in fandom centers—as well it should—on how being bisexual in no way makes people automatically depraved or vice versa, and likewise how being oppressed for one's sexuality can produce disastrous consequences including the reproduction of the same harms bigots think that being queer automatically causes.

Don't doubt for a minute that the "groomers" here are the people dipping authors into pots like so many frogs, slowly turning up the heat so that we won't realize fascism has destroyed our found families and our own futures alike. Martin Niemöller had the right of it, as ever: Als sie mich holten, gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte.

And if you think it will not happen to you, that fascism will not find you where you hide from your supposed position of moral high ground in silencing survivors...may the odds be ever in your favor. Most every writer gets our start by reading extensively. So we already know—or should, if we have paid attention—where censorship of creative work leads. It can feel so tempting to cling to simplistic childhood ideas of heroes and villains, and envision worlds made right by simply getting rid of the "bad guys" who differ fundamentally from the rest of us good people.

Trust me when I say that absolutely anyone, if pushed too far too many times with too much disregard for their own humanity, will find the villain within themselves. What exactly this looks like can vary tremendously from person to person and situation to situation. But I have stared into that abyss, as many of us have. I have seen its depths and its dimensions, and it has terrified me far more than the complex trauma that got me there ever could.

Writing pulled me back from the brink then. It keeps me moving now towards a truly healthy and liberated future. Every day I traverse more of the path toward that light at the end of this long and dark tunnel I’ve inhabited since having my own inner flame very nearly snuffed out in the fragile nascent years of my adult life. Compared to the horrors I’ve left behind, fighting a few fascists along the way hardly rates.

That said, I would rather create than destroy. I would rather probe the depths of painful accountability and tremulous hope than immerse myself in the mechanics of violence itself. Because I never forget for a moment the villain that lives within me, waiting for a misguided sense of righteousness to draw them out. My origin story has already been written in bruises and blood, in silence and shame, in nightmares that made me fear sleep, in darkness curling around the edges of my compassion for self and others, and most of all in hope lost for better tomorrows.

In exploring similar forked potentialities of trauma and healing through fiction, I quite literally choose to write a different story.

It's fashionable in this modern age to dismiss the idea of good and evil, but there is evil, and it finds purchase in good men by giving sin the sweet taste of ecstasy. The Nazis drank from that poisoned cup, thinking all the while they were slaking their thirst with the sweetest wine… Evil has but one cup. They drank long and deep. Yours was but a sip. Make it your last. Turn away from the darkness that beckons you, and go back into the light.

—Reverend Reginald Wakefield, Outlander

#censorship #ao3 #advocacy #survivor #lgbt fiction #trauma #fanfic #writing is healing #fandom culture #hiche outlander musings #representation #black jack randall #character development #outlander starz #processing #solidarity

8 notes · View notes

thespacedragons · 1 year

Text

I was scrolling pintrest, and I saw something that said, "You can't truly call yourself 'peaceful' unless you are capable of great violence. If you're not capable of violence, you're not peaceful, you're harmless." I just want to talk about this for a second.

At first I read it, and my heart just shriveled up, because I felt harmless, like I am not capable of violence, so this random post must be a sign that I am just as weak as I thought.

But I read a few replies disagreeing, and I remembered that I can form my own opinions on matters, I don't know why I forget that I can sometimes, but that's what I'm doing now.

Being peaceful doesn't mean actively choosing peace every second. It can, for sure, but you don't need to know war (literal and metaphorical) to know peace. Peace isn't the opposite of war and violence, it's the moment to moment. Peace is a feeling, a promise of quiet and calm. It can happen in the seconds between battles (both physical and emotional), or it can happen for years.

There are different kinds of peace, and everyone feels everything differently because of experiences and differences in opinion. But peace and harmlessness are not related, you can be harmless and peaceful, you can be capable of violence and peaceful.

It is alright to not be capable of violence, it is alright if this is because of trauma, or manipulative friends or family, or simply because you aren't willing to be. It does not mean that you aren't peaceful, you can still feel your anger burn, you are just better at diffusing it, if anything, you are more peaceful. Remember to form your own opinion as well, I'm glad you've read this far, but think about how you feel about it. I'm also up for (polite and friendly) debate or questions. So feel free.

#sorry #i really needed to comment #this quote hit me like a truck #but after i remembered i Can form my own opinions it didnt sit right with me #i dont know how i forgot to form my own opinion #kind of makes me wonder what else i just sunk in without thinking critically of what I thought of it

2 notes · View notes

violent-storms · 26 days

Text

God's cruelty

Think about it for a moment.

God is a being omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent. That means that it doesn't matter if you live a non-sinful life because for you to choose not to sin, you had to think about the sin first. God knows that. And if he knows that and made you this way anyway, why would you choose the opposite of your desire?

You see, God is aware of all the violence, the lust, the envy, the hate, the curse that lives inside you. Therefore, he chose to make you this way.

I'm not saying you should murder your neighbor. I'm just saying that you should accept the violence within you. Embrace it, feel it, but don't act on it. God's not good. He's mean for making humans capable of so much cruelty. But it doesn't mean there's no heaven for you. There's a heaven for those who dare.

It's so easy to ignore your hateful feelings and pretend to care. But it's so hard to feel it all and still truly deeply care.

Personal experience ahead, *rape trigger*

The day I was raped was the worst day of my life. I passed by so many people asking for help but no one did a thing. I got home and called someone I trusted. I went to the hospital and got asked horrific questions. I didn't think of God, but later I thought about him, and I hated him so much. He knew I would go through that. And what was the point? I didn't learn, I didn't grow, I just felt pain, an eternal wound.

But now I see. I had to know cruelty at its worst. I had to know pain at its worst. I had to know that God's mean. He made us in his image. Cruel, mean. But also capable of goodness and greatness.

There's progress in cruelty. There are lessons in all wrong intentions.

We discovered two new elements in a nuclear test bomb made to kill 24 million people.

Progress was made.

So it's been made at the cost of lives.

Is that what he meant for us?

Yes, because he knows all. So he meant it, so he's cruel.

So when we choose to be good, we are daring God himself. We're exercising true free will. We choose to go against him. We choose to be free.

Do not choose God.

Choose freedom, choose kindness.

That's how you make the difference.

0 notes

julesofvolterra · 2 months

Text

Controversial fact: You can't truly call yourself peaceful unless you're capable of great violence. If you're not capable of violence to begin with then you're not "peaceful", you're just h a r m l e s s .

Every day I wake up and have to intentionally choose Peace amidst the rampant inner chaos. The darkness thrums just under the surface, waiting for me to unleash it. I'm telling you this now because I know I'm not the only one that struggles with energy so intense that I've been tempted to just give up the fight altogether. If that's you, please stay. I know last night's full moon brought on a lot. Let us use the energy to fight another day.

I am just now to the point that I can enjoy the power without feeling guilt or worry. The light that blazes within me shines brighter than most due to that same energy and I no longer feel ashamed about that... but I used to. I used to dampen the spark and struggle to muffle the darkness in hopes I could just coast by and be "normal" like everyone else, even if that is terribly boring.

The internal battles I wage every day causes my body to want to rip itself apart! I prove routinely that the only one truly tough enough to kick my ass is me. It has taken a lot of shadow work to finally acknowledge that I hate this act I've put on for far too long. Now I'm working to actively change it, kindling my fire, welcoming my magic, harnessing the chaos, and embracing my power, and I invite those of you who feel the calling to as well.

Hear me: For some of us our "neutral" is more chaotic than others could ever imagine. Every.single.day there must be an intentional choice made for peace, and part of that is finding an appropriate yet still satisfying outlet for the violence. (Have you ever just beat the shit out of a dead tree with its own limbs? Thrown rocks at the water until you think Tethys herself comes out to heal you? Scream and Sob into the wind until you collapse as it swirls back around you in a beautiful hurricane that then takes itself away into the woods?) These are all relatively safe expulsions of power that can bring our sometimes elusive peace back to a more accessible place. Maybe try it if this resonates.

And to my gentle souls out there-- I'm not here to pass judgement on those who are more passive and harmless. I feel this world truly needs both kinds of people! It's just 2 very different mindsets and can make for big feelings and confusion if you're not able to see where the other side is coming from. I'm only trying to help share my perspective and apologize to those whose sensibilities I've offended. Your soft voice counts and you matter too.

1 note · View note

cherokeegal1975 · 6 months

Text

Article below is what I wrote on my post on DeviantART for this game idea that I very much know isn't going to happen. I thought it might if I could find the right game developer that would be willing to work with me, but I quickly discovered that game developers do not like outside ideas, especially unsolicited ones. I can't do it myself partly because I can't afford the classes or the resources needed to get it done...and I'd probably need a team, which I'll never get. Also, I look at myself and realize that even though I'd enjoy games and probably do well in them, I write stories okay, but I don't have it in me to create challenges, different outcomes or puzzles. I'm not talented that way. Even so, it was a fun idea to think about. I look forward to putting this artwork into my art journal when I can afford to get it made.

I created a fake game play screen shot. I can take credit for the horse and the dragon, both the full characters and the heads, but nothing else. The rest I found online and made use of them like stickers. I did add the text though. Call me lazy if you will, but I just wanted to focus on drawing my characters and sharing my concept. The game itself will never be made, I don't even know how to do such a thing, much less have the funds to buy the programs to make them. The closest I can come is do a kind of writing game where I say "This thing is happening, if you choose to go left, click the #1 link, if you choose to go right choose the #2 link and keep reading." I don't see myself doing that anytime soon...if at all. It's an idea though. Both the horse and the dragon are based on small plastic toys that I had as a child. The drawings look a lot better than the original toys I lost so long ago. Anyway, the basic game idea is that it's a story based, open world, lots of side quests, puzzles, useful collectibles, possibly a bit of a sandbox thing going on in it, with more than one possible ending. Both animals can talk, both have abilities that compliment the other. The main focus will be on content and though it doesn't have to be G-rated, it should not be focused mainly on violence or sexual themes. So what do you think? I know this isn't the most action packed scene in a game I've ever seen, but use your imagination, this is only one set in a huge world map. I haven't thought too much on the story plot or anything, only the basic concepts of what I've learned from watching game playthroughs on YouTube. I gradually learned what kinds of games I like and this one has everything I find fun and appealing in a video game...or so I imagine. So, tell me what you think of my idea. I really want to know.

Update: (This a journal entry from a few weeks ago, I've already figured out their names and I only added this on to help fill in some detail just in case someone actually wants to take my idea seriously...which I still know is about zero.) I know why a game developer wouldn't want to take my ideas and collaborate with me, they got too many of their own already and want nothing to do with outside help. It's a shame too, I've got some good ones and just occurred to me that my pink dragon (I can't figure out a name and Rosie won't do because I've got a cat named Rosie here and I don't like to have more than one animal named the same thing even though my dragon isn't real. Anyone have any suggestions? Her name was Pink-yellow-blue, but that's a stupid name my child self came up with and I've long since out grown it.) might make a great avatar for a roll playing game in an open world kind of game. Her abilities are human speech and intelligence, omnivorous, fire breathing, excellent senses of sight, smell and hearing. Very good at digging, powerful jumps, her tail is as prehensile as a monkey's so she can carry objects with it or help her to hang on to things like tree branches. Her scales make her tough and fire resistant, excellent climbing capabilities, a really good swimmer and her fore feet work like hands. She can also stand up and walk for short distances on her hind legs so she can use those hands. She's the size of a large dog, so that means she can go into smaller places the bigger species of dragons can't. Her only disadvantage is her lack of wings since her kind never had them in the first place. Also, males have two small horns on their noses and her kind comes in all colors and patterns, so if they show up in the game, no two would look alike. Her best friend is a black horse with four white socks, a white mark that starts on her forehead and runs all the way down her nose, a white mane and a white tail and silver eyes, who is just a sweet an intelligent horse in spite of her unusual coloring. (Haven't drawn the horse yet, but I will. I had almost forgotten that horse. It's gone too, lost it long before I lost the dragon). My character's home environment is a enchanted forest full of giant sentient trees that can change themselves to make hollows in their bases the dragons can use as homes. The trees can also create mischief for the unwary traveler who disrespects them by shifting positions in such a way that the movement is never seen. This movement can create false paths and get people hopelessly lost if they aren't careful. This tendency can also aid my character in finding places if she asks them nicely to help her and most likely they will because their relationship with the tree dragons is a friendly one. Maybe one of the game goals is to have my dragon go on an adventure to rescue her horse friend? The game could have puzzles included as well as helpful companions that could come along as the game progresses. I would like the game to have the best graphics. I did down play the details on my dragon a bit because I wanted to hurry up and finish her. I've been doing a lot of dragons lately and I've gotten tired of drawing more scales than I can count. So I just did contours instead and only suggested that she's a scaled dragon. She's got little lizard like scales except for the ones on her underside and I would love it if that would show up in the game when ever the camera got close enough to see them. Well, anyway, I am aware that my chances of collaborating a gamer are slim to none, I'm still willing to try to put the suggestion out there just in case someone would take me up on my idea. This dragon would do great as an avatar. Not sure of the full plot, but those details could be worked out later by the developer. Also, I think the game controls should have the option to be made to work with a mouse so people on a tight budget don't have to buy a game controller so they can play the game on a laptop.

#cherokeegal1975 #digital art #video game #video game idea #dragon #fantasy #horse

0 notes

stupid-sloot-headcanons · 2 years

Note

OMG please I'm begging if are the aot request open please write zeke sfw and nsfw hc pleasee

(These got super long lol)

He'd fall for a Darling without ever meaning to. I mean he's capable of love, but he would worry about what that would mean long-term. He wouldn't want to have children in this hate-filled world, but...it would be nice to have someone to grow old with while Eldians enjoy a bloodless euthanasia.

And when Darling shows up into his life in Paradis of all places, he fixates on them immediately. Obviously he knows he has a mission to complete but they just wind up staying in his mind as an occasional distraction. Like I imagine him throwing those pieces of rubble and rock at Erwin's soldiers while thinking "hm...I wonder what they're up to right now. Wait, why am I thinking about this?"

He knows that he's achieved so much in Marley for the army, so coming home with a captive "war wife" would be easy. In his mind, it's the best solution: he's already getting distracted by thinking about them, and that distraction would be lessened if he knew where they were...and made sure they stayed there :)

The timing of it is difficult though; he'd have to work kidnapping them into his mission and keep them protected and hidden away the entire journey back home. Having them around during the battle at Wall Maria would be a disaster with everything going on.

But let's say he pulls it off with Pieck and he returns to Marley with Reiner AND his Darling. He'd be very calm in explaining why he took Darling, what their new life will be like, and I think he'd even be a little apologetic at first. He truly didn't mean to uproot them from their home, but them being so far from him and in danger from the Titans on Paradis is too great a distraction. And he'll make sure they live a comfortable life with him in Marley.

He allows them to have some alone time and personal space during that first month in Marley, but after that he decides that more than enough time has passed for them to adjust to their new life. He'll be more touchy and affectionate, and more sexually forward. He doesn't like holding them down and forcing them into sex; he'd rather coerce them and ease his way past their boundaries, or drug them to make them more compliant.

He would fit his Darling with some kind of long-term contraception as soon as they're in Marley. He doesn't want any chance of getting them pregnant, especially since he knows he probably won't be able to hold back during sex and will definitely cum inside them.

Has a thing for playing with his Darling's hair absentmindedly or whenever they're in bed together. Depending on his mood or intent, it can be comforting or creepy.

He enjoys fingering them so, SO much. That feeling of control whenever he's got them squealing and moaning, positioned just the way he wants in his lap or on his bed, knowing their body so well that he can make them cum with just one hand...he loves it.

He's such a dom lol. He also loves overstimulating them with multiple orgasms, only for him to fuck them faster with his fingers and watch them spasm and try to crawl away in a futile attempt to make the pleasure stop--only for him to pull them back and chastise them for being so disobedient, and fuck them even faster/deeper. And he has a little smirk whenever he does it too 😏

Also he spanks them if they act out too much. He'll just put them over his knee and say that if they're so eager to act like a bratty child, then he'll treat them like one.

He's much more gentle and stable compared to pretty much every other AoT yandere, with very few exceptions. If his Darling is in any kind of danger, he'll keep his wits about him and strategize a way to get them back. And once they are, he's showing no mercy towards whoever or whatever threatened them.

I think the only time he'd immediately choose violence and flip out is if Levi was the one threatening his Darling. Like all Levi has to do is make one subtle threat and Zeke drops all pretense of neutrality/civility, and his tone is frighteningly cold. He'll put up with everything else Levi says and does to him, but Darling's the one line you can't cross.

He's a yandere who doesn't mind giving his Darling privacy sometimes. He figures that given he kidnapped them against their will, it's only fair that they get some time to themselves. And he can manipulate his Darling into accepting it when he DOES push their boundaries, since he's willing to give them space sometimes. All he wants is a kiss goodnight; surely they can give him that?

One yandere he reminds me of is Nanami from JJK. They give off similar kinds of creepy vibes, where somehow him stroking his Darling's hair is more disturbing than when they're diddling them. They have this cool and collected demeanor to them most of the time, and they're both aware that their obsession is just that--an obsession. But they're able to justify what they do for/to their Darling using a kind of logic that's hard to argue against in the moment. Very manipulative.

#.aot #.zeke #yandere aot #yandere zeke #tw: dubcon #tw: noncon #.myshit

118 notes · View notes

arabnico · 2 years

Note

hey khlood!!

earlier this afternoon, i stumbled across this very good, although short, post that talked about the way white women online victimised themselves when faced with criticism, and it reminded me of your recent post about white fandom bloggers. while i do believe that setting boundaries online is important, there still is a difference between choosing not to engage with actual bad faith criticism/harassment and like. actively refusing to face shitty things you've done, which the groups the post i linked and you were talking about do often.

and... i guess my question is: as a white person in fandom, how can i learn to recognize this behaviour and not fall into it?

i hope this was worded properly; i apologize in advance if this came off as rude or entitled. i thought starting a conversation on this topic might be a good idea, as it's an actual issue that i've been noticing a lot but didn't know how to put words on.

anyway-- with all of this said, i'm glad to have your blog back on my dash; your nicoposting & contributions to pjo fandom discussions are valued ❤️ i hope you have a great day!

hey sam,

honestly, i don’t think this behavior is something one “falls into” - because that would imply that this is something that you get caught in, slip into unconsciously, which it isn’t. this just reinforces the idea that white people are overall innocent, never ill-intended, passive participants in bigotry that are racist because they were manipulated into it or got caught in the loop. this just serves the idea that white people do not hold any responsibility for the violence they subject people of color to, that they don’t take the active choice to target people of color, and tries to alleviate the blame that is –rightfully– on them for their actions.

recognizing this behavior is pretty easy in my opinion. equating being “drama-free” to refusing to acknowledge people of color speaking up about racism (whether it be online or in real life) is telling enough on its own. another thing is white people prioritizing maintaining a positive environment in which you don’t address obvious tensions caused by prejudice and bigotry, basically keeping the environment “positive” only for people lucky enough not to be subjected to violence (made even more violent because it’s swept under the rug and hushed down). being dismissive of discussions of racially-motivated violence, equating racial bias to other kinds of discrimination, calling affront at racism “fandom drama”, equating being called out in mass for bigotry by people of color to being flooded with hate and being harassed and painting yourself as innocent, staying silent if your mutuals/friends engage in bigotry for the sake of maintaining the peace, flipping the script to paint yourself as the victim, using parts of your identities as a shield and weaponizing them as a way to say that you’re not capable of bigotry because you’re otherwise oppressed, refusing to participate in or broadcast discussions that are concerns about the racist aspects of a piece of media or of fandom itself, etc. are all manifestations of that.

the thing is that white people refuse to face the fact and acknowledge that their ability to ignore everything going on in online circles and in real life in order to protect their online bubble that they consider their “safe space” is an immense privilege in its own. this privilege is one people of color have never, do not, and will never be able to share. people of color cannot take a “break” from being people of color. white people can distance themselves from “everything going on”, can pretend a crisis doesn’t exist but people of color can’t. social media isn’t an escape for us, a safe space, we don’t get that chance. white people have over and over again shown that they don’t care about people of color’s existence and whether or not they feel adequate. white people constantly refuse to challenge their own comfort to allow for ours to at least exist. and as those instances of refusing to own up for their actions, of shutting down criticism, of refusing to engage in spreading information about people of color’s literal reality, of caring about current events that affect people of color and especially people in the global south show, white people don’t even prioritize our safety and survival over their own comfort. expecting them to be willing to cut down their own comfort for ours is barely imaginable for me.

i don’t believe the line between establishing boundaries and disregarding harassment and bad faith, baseless criticism and actively ignoring and refusing call outs on bigoted and violent behavior is a fine or thin line. the action of engaging in the latter is purposeful and intentional and rooted in willful ignorance, in prejudice, in blatant abuse of ill-gotten privilege, and in bigotry, for short.

the thing white people can do –and should and must do, in my opinion– is actively be the opposite of that. boost people of color’s voices. all people of color. even people of color who disagree with you. even people of color who aren’t nice about it. even people of color who don’t educate you in a “calm” manner. even people of color who aren’t willing to be patient with you, to coddle you, to explain things to you slowly, to not be angry at you. people of color are exhausted. people of color are always demanded intellectual labor, which in turn entails emotional labor considering this is our daily life, considering on top of having to be faced with bigotry from the “bad” white people, we’re also expected to educate, to be supportive, and “grateful”, and to spoon-feed the “good” white people on their path to become allies. and you have to care about people or color beyond just boosting up their voices. being anti-racist involves being empathetic, involves fighting for people of color’s financial security, involves advocating for their wellbeing, not just fighting racists. however, that’s also something you must do. white people have to stop waiting for people of color to confront a bigoted white person before they do it themselves–if you notice this, remaining silent is being complicit. call them out yourself. challenge their untouchable-ness. stop expecting people of color to do all the heavy lifting. and don’t expect thankfulness and reassurance and a pat on the back because while some might express them, people of color do not owe you any of that for bursting out of the utopian, ideal, unaware bubble born out of being beneficiaries by default of racism white people have existed in forever. if you personally know a person of color being subjected to violence asking them how they’d like for you to support them is also good.

it all just comes down to not only opposing violence against poc in fandom spaces but also caring for us multi-dimensionally. you won’t “fall down” into bigotry if you actively work against it.

#lol that was a lot #im too tired to proof read so if there’s something unintelligible just lmk #and if you have any question just ask me #and thank you sam that’s very nice. i hope you’re having a nice evening :)#asks #sam

30 notes · View notes

thyandrawrites · 3 years

Note

So I know you don’t like predicting, so to clarify this is not me asking you what you think what will happen! Not what HK will do… But instead, if you were writing the story, how would you have the villains be saved by their counterparts?

Hey there!

If I was writing the story, I would work towards two main goals.

1. Addressing the failings of hero society that made the League fall through the cracks until they turned to villainy in order to fight back for their right to exist, and

2. Have the main hero trio reach out emotionally to the villains and establish a true connection based on empathy.

I think these are the very baseline requirements for any "saving" to take place. Like. The League presents a challenge that the main cast hasn't yet faced properly. So far, their job was kind of easy. They only rescued crying kids asking for help by beating the bad guy who was endangering them. But the Lov is different cause they are the bad guy, and at the same time, they are lashing out against hero society because no hero came to save them when they were crying kids asking for help, too. So saving them requires a bigger effort on the heroes' part. It needs to involve an acknowledgement that if it got this bad, it's because there was a certain set of circumstances that let it get this bad. The villains aren't evil because they were born evil, but because the system who should've offered them a way out of their suffering enabled their falling through the cracks of hero society, and then made them targets of the heroes' violent suppression instead of addressing the reasons why they turned villains.

In other words, I think there should be an acknowledgement that the villains have a right to their anger. And I'm just saying their anger, because it goes without saying that no amount of hurt justifies taking a life to feel better. I'm not trying to state that they should be condoned and forgiven blindly. But their suffering shouldn't be condoned, either, or swept under the rug because it manifested in a way that society doesn't find palatable. If anything, the fact that kids who were originally well integrated into society ended up as criminals should be a wake up call that something is horribly wrong with the system, so that should be addressed and looked into.

The criticism the League aimed at hero society (the fact that heroes are self-absorbed and they care more about appearances and protecting the status quo than they care about actual justice and safety) is no less valid and spot on just because their methods to gain a voice are violent. Hero society was violent to them first, and warped them into the people they are today. This is most notable with Toga. It is literally stated in more than one occasion that she's capable of great empathy when treated with kindness (the handkerchief scene with Jin), but that she was called a monster by her family and peers enough times that she eventually embraced that narrative. Cause she would be treated as a freak no matter what, so she might as well own it. In fact, it's stated that she even dressed up as a school girl in order to be treated with less violence. Dabi and Shigaraki were denied a reason to even exist.

So. Back to my point, I think there should be an acknowledgement that the villains have a right to be angry that they were failed by the people who were supposed to look after them.

I'm not super confident that this will happen in canon. After all, Kouta kinda sets off a precedent. He had a right to feeling upset at his parents for choosing their job over him, even when that inevitably caused their deaths, and he had a right to resent heroics cause it deprived him of his childhood and took away his parents, all for the sake of an abstract "greater good". But when he was "saved", Deku fails spectacularly at addressing this, and the story tells us that Kouta simply... Changes his mind about heroes just like that. Gone is his legit anger, all because "heroes are cool". And so there's virtually no consequence, no critical self-reflection on the heroes' side. Kouta's pain is a tolerable compromise if heroes get to feel cool while they keep doing what they've always done. It doesn't matter if their actions hurt their loved ones.

Imho this approach wouldn't work with the League. Like. Would you accept that what was done to Touya was acceptable simply because Endvr got to feel awesome and heroic as he kept neglecting his duties as a parent and a spouse? I sure as hell wouldn't.

There needs to be some sort of accountability there. There's no way I can buy that the Lov simply... Accepts heroes as cool after they "save" them. Cause in their case, saving isn't a black and white matter. Horikoshi could always twist it as a "let's beat up the bad guy who's hurting them and then rescue the hostage and call that saving" by making AFO be the Muscular to the Lov's Kouta or the Chisaki to the Lov's Eri. But imho that would be extremely weak and fail to address the social commentary the Lov always brought forward. What's the point of stressing the failures of hero society to this extent, if the system stays the way it always was even after the League is done terrorizing the country?

When I say that I want the heroes to reach out to the villains, I mean that I want the heroes to make an effort to understand the motivations of the villains. I want them to struggle with their internalized blind worship of the system and see that even the brightest of lights still casts a shadow somewhere. Some people have to be sacrificed in order to protect the greater good. And their pain is very real and very raw, and so far no one has bothered to legitimize it, or even acknowledge it.

Saving the League can't just mean beating AFO and then reintegrating the Lov into an unchanged society. Because that doesn't address at all the causes of their villainous radicalization. It simply brushes the matter under the rug the same way it brushed Kouta's feelings under the rug. It's a non-conclusive ending.

Eri was introduced in the story as foreshadowing for Shigaraki's saving, since she functions as a foil to him. This page here gives me a bit of hope because it shows that Horikoshi knows that saving someone from abuse isn't a linear process, and it doesn't just involve the removal of the victim from the context of immediate physical and psychological harm. It's a journey. Eri wasn't saved the moment she was separated from Chisaki. The scars he left on her weren't just physical but emotional and psychological as well. Aside from her remaining antsiness, her social anxiety, her inability to smile easily, Chisaki also hindered her healthy development. She's about seven but she was never socialized to know how to behave and what to expect from staying with big groups of people. She appears clueless about festivities too, which shows that her isolation was pretty severe while growing up. All of this clearly slows down her recovery, and is in fact addressed on screen.

Deku's naivety here shows through, but it's a learning experience for him, and writing-wise it could be a set up for even more growth later down the line. What happens here is that Deku sees how socially stunted Eri is, and for the first time realizes that a true hero's job isn't over the moment he puts the bad guy in handcuffs. The real challenge comes here, in the aftermaths of the rescue operation, when the flashy part of heroism is over. And this is his narrative challenge. In what way can he be the best hero there ever was? The answer should be: by being a hero even behind closed doors, and by being dedicated to making a difference even when there's no spotlights shining down on him. That is, by helping a victim get out of the chokeholds of a self-harming mentality caused by intense abuse. Eri was told that she exists to curse others enough times that she believed it. Shigaraki is the same, except he was told he exists to be a symbol of terror lusting for destruction. Deku was shown to be the first to show Eri the gentle side of her quirk, and thus help her redefine amd reclaim the meaning of her power in much the same way Deku redefined the meaning of the word "Deku" and reclaimed it as an empowering word instead of a belittling one. I reckon that Deku will be thr first to reach out emotionally to Shigaraki the same way, and show him a better way to channel his self-expression into that will finally free him of the burdens AFO placed on him.

Now, I don't really expect bnha to delve deeply into themes of recovery, or to even show it realistically. After all, Eri was "cured" simply by attending a concert. But the fact that there's an acknowledgement on screen that a hero's job isn't over the moment the bad guy is in cuffs is a start, at least. I want to hope that it's a set up for when the main trio will rescue the League. If I was writing the story, I would definitely use that set up to properly test the heroes' resolution to help out people. After all, what greater challenge than helping someone recover from spending 2/3 of their life stewing in their pain and hatred by learning better coping methods and finding a more stable environment to finally get closure? I don't think the League can properly be saved so long as their wounds aren't treated. In their case, the wounds are even deeper than Kouta's or Eri's, because they were left alone for three times as long as those two kids were, until they eventually grew up into emotionally and psychologically unstable adults / teens. But that just means that their healing process will be a longer journey, not that it cannot happen at all

#Ali replies #Bnha meta #Bnha #My post #Meta:shigaraki #Meta:eri #Meta:midoriya

39 notes · View notes