#is this you saying i look like someone who doesn't eat their vegetables???

[figgriffin]

Do you eat your vegetables

i'm offended by this actually

#is this you saying i look like someone who doesn't eat their vegetables??? #or is it you assuming i don't because i'm technically short because that's rude #or is it because i'm not strong because that's also rude and how do you know that #dnd: duck game #duck game

[hedgehog-moss]

I meant to do some greenhouse cleaning and tidying today because my mum is coming to visit and I don't want to be judged. It involved finally bringing myself to say goodbye to my moribund basil plants (by turning them into pesto) among other things—but my plans were derailed when I took down one of the aquaponics towers and heard a big splash. I thought I'd disturbed a fish that was napping amid the plant roots in the water, but no.... I looked into the fish tank and saw a big frog indignantly swimming away.

I went to get a little dip net and spent a solid half hour trying to fish the frog out—she swam so fast! And was really determined to stay in the fish tank, even when I told her I would put her outside somewhere watery and nice where she could meet frog friends. But I did catch her in the end.

I'd never seen a completely black frog before! When I googled for more info, all I found were photos of the (amazing) African rain frog, which one website compared to an angry avocado.

Back to my tank squatter—she was delicately placed on the edge of the barrel that collects spring water in the pasture and invited to start a new life here, and she morosely sat for quite a while, mulling over her options.

I'm not even lying to you, frog: I found a beautiful toad in the pasture some time ago... I'm moving you from a place of existential alienation (lone frog in fish tank) to a hot spot of batracian life.

I tried to film the moment when the frog accepted her fate and gracefully jumped into the barrel but of course I started filming just a second too late and she refused to come back for a second take. In the meantime, every pasture dweller had noticed that something interesting was happening, and converged towards me. When they found my hands and pockets empty of snacks their reactions ranged from sharp betrayal to distant melancholy.

Pirlouit looked so sad in the rain staring at the horizon, pondering the inherent unfairness of life, I ended up letting him sniff the dip net, like, did you actually WANT to eat a frog?

I know, but this one was too large for you.

Poldine was the only one who didn't resent me for visiting them with a frog and no snacks; she was just happy for the opportunity to kiss someone's cheek.

When I went home and looked at my frog pictures I realised there was an apple floating in the barrel ! which I hadn't seen since I was too focused on the frog. The apple tree has shed nearly all of its fruit by now, it must be one of the last apples of the year... And since entering the pasture with a poor slimy excuse for a snack in my dip net had clearly made a dent in my approval ratings, I decided to go back and offer llamas & donkey the apple along with some vegetable peelings.

Pandolf was intrigued when I fished an apple out of the barrel; he sat down in front of me the way he does to signal that he is a good dog and possibly deserving of good things; but UNLIKE SOME he wasn't disappointed with me when he realised the thing I was holding wasn't meant for him because the world doesn't revolve around him.

.... approval ratings skyrocketing 📈

Look at Pirlouit in the background, startled and horrified as he realises he left the scene to soon!

Look at him leaving a cloud of dust behind him as he rushes towards us!

Don't worry Pirou, I saved you a whole half courgette <3 You can drop the tragic misunderstood persecuted look now.

#crawling along

[ghcstao3]

that one slower scene in every superhero movie when the good guys take a beating from the villain and need to regroup, so one of the members of the team is like 'i know a place'.

so, nik gets some coordinates from soap and flies them to a countryside in scotland where mrs mactavish greets them on the front porch of a lovely house and immediately threats them with an ass whooping if they don't take their muddy combat boots off before going inside.

momma mactavish seems completely unafazed by a helicopter in her backyard, doesn't ask any questions, treats them all like a family. she's tiny and a little scary, makes them eat their vegetables and treats them to a delicious dessert. she can't stop kissing johnny's head and roast him for his mohawk.

ghost notices how relaxed and happy johnny is and how domesticity suits him. he would like to see it more often. for the first time in his life he is reluctant to come back to work.

immediately pictured the avengers at hawkeye’s house

-

Usually when someone on their team says I know a place when they find themselves in a bout of trouble, they don’t usually mean their childhood home.

Usually, I know a place means a warehouse, a run-down safe house, or, God forbid, some cave. And yet instead, here they all exist idly in Soap’s mum’s house while she coddles them in between scolding her son like it’s just another normal day for her. Like they aren’t all hardened soldiers standing in her home, each with innumerable kill counts and severely blacked-out personnel files.

It’s… weird, being crowded into a dining room and served a home-cooked meal despite coming unannounced and uninvited. That isn’t to say they’re not all thankful, having surely used up the last of Mrs. MacTavish’s gauze and bandages to get to this point, but it’s just—not at all what any of the team had been expecting.

Soap’s about the only one who seems unperturbed. Price is still rubbing his wrist from when Mrs. MacTavish smacked him for his insistence on helping with supper.

You’re guests, she had said, sounding positively aghast. What kind of host do you take me for?

Ghost can certainly see where Soap had gotten his fiery nature, as he bickers back and forth with his mother while the rest of them eat quietly, tentatively, like they’re not sure they’re allowed to. They may not share much in looks, but it’s no doubt that Soap is his mother’s son.

By the time dessert rolls around—which is yet another surprise—Mrs. MacTavish has finally been directing conversation to the soldiers sat around her table, asking about work and life as if they aren’t all bruised and scarred and about half-dead from an awful fight. Yet they all find themselves discussing what’s asked of them like it’s no more than the weather.

Something about Mrs. MacTavish’s spirit instills a sense of familiarity, homeliness. Ghost understands why Soap thought to bring them all there.

Ultimately it’s Gaz who charms Soap’s mum away to the living room along with Price and Nik that lets Ghost, at the very least, get away with helping with dishes once everything is said and done. Unfortunately for Soap, he’s never offered the choice.

“Good thing you have goin’ on here, Johnny,” Ghost eventually remarks, once they’re finally in the swing of wash, dry, wash, dry. “Not afraid of anything getting traced back here? To her?”

Soap shakes his head as he scrubs at a particularly tough stain. “Nah. It’s no’ on any of my records. Hell, it’s barely on any records. We’re off grid, LT, no need to worry your pretty head.”

Ghost rolls his eyes. He wipes off the plate that’s handed to him before setting it on the drying rack, and tossing his towel over his shoulder. It’s not until Soap’s trying to hand him something else does he take notice of Ghost’s pause.

Slowly, Soap sets the dish back in the water, frowning up at Ghost. “What?”

“…Nothin’,” Ghost says after much too long. He huffs. “Just… nice seeing what home looks like on you.”

Ghost doesn’t allow himself to linger watching Soap’s expression change from confusion to a near softness, instead making a reach for the discarded dish in the murky, soapy water to kick their routine back in gear.

He doesn’t want to think about it too closely. Doesn’t want to think about the things he’s realizing about himself this evening, or the fleeting thought that maybe he’d like to stay here forever, instead of return to the field where death waits openly at every turn.

It’s still appreciated, though, this moment of tranquility. He’ll have to make sure to thank Mrs. MacTavish when he gets the chance.

#ask #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #captain john price #task force 141 #ghostsoap #soapghost #writing

[puripurin]

— "Mama! Mama!Look! Look at this!!" The twins squealed as they dragged you from stall to stall. All of them contained a variety of exotic fruties, vegetables, and meats only native to the planet. Though it was at the back of your mind as you were out of the palace without permission.

"Shhh, Phi, Mero! What if we get caught!" The only reason why you had even snuck out of the place was because they said they weren't allowed to step foot out of the place. Although you knew you were 100% going to be punished, it was worth it for the twins to experience going to the market.

"Mamaaa- lookkkk!!! It's a- a um... Phi, do you know what kind aminilal it is??" Mero struggled with remembering the animal was called, so he asked his sister. You looked over at the animal he was referring to, and it was around powdery white fox-like animal with 2 pairs of blue eyes and two large horns.

"Meroooo, it's pronounced animallll!! It's the Strisam Snow Fudan. It's from the country from that bad woman who made Papa all sick and dizzy and tried to sleep in the same bed with him! Only Mama and us can sleep with Papa!" Phi huffed and glared at the fox-like creature who ignored her. Your mouth was slightly opened as you looked in confusion at the pouting child. Maybe it was best if you hadn't taken the job offer and stayed home because judging by what Phi said, that woman is probably planning your execution.

"Oh! Thank you, Phi. Mamaaa, I want something to munch onnn!!" Mero tugged on you as Phi glared at the animal who didn't give one shit. You sighed as people stared at you weirdly.

"Phi, Mero, can you calm down a bit? Mero, I will get food just now if you can relax a little and Phi, just because it came from a place that a woman you didn't like came from, doesn't mean the "fudan" did anything wrong, okay? Now, let's find something that you guys want to eat." You sighed and rubbed their heads. Even if they were royalty, they were still children.

As you roamed different parts of the city, you could notice someone was watching, but it was only a few times, so you didn't really bother figuring out who it was. And soon it reached evening and you all quietly talked about the mini adventure you all had. Though it was cut quickly by a person.

"Oh? What's a lady like you roaming around here with two adorable children?" The man chuckled, but his voice seemed altered, and he wore layers of black clothes. You pushed the children to an empty alleyway as you positioned yourself to fight

"It's none of your business." You quickly took off your coat as well so you can have fewer weaknesses. The man chuckled, and you felt his eyes looking you up and down.

"A human... On top of that, you're sexy with that gorgeous body." You glared at him as you went and made your first move by trying to give him a swift blow to the jaw, but he blocked it with his hand before gripping it and tossing you to the ground. An alien's fighting prowess was no joke, but you could feel as if he was going easy on you.

"Ugh! I'm a married person! I'm married to your weird ass king!" You growled as you slapped his hand away before moving to punch him in the face, and he dodged it again. Once more, he let a chuclked after a moment's pause.

"... Say that again." Your eyes slightly widen at his reaction before going back to be focused.

"Yeah. You heard that I'm married to your king—" You were thrown off your feet as he pressed down your two hands onto the floor. You erratically moved around, hoping he will relase you.

"Ah, my sweet, sweet spouse. You're already admitting that you're married to me." The mysterious mam pulled off his cloak, revealing himself to by Zypher. Your face felt extremely hot and looked away to the alleyway only to see them cheering on their father.

"So... How was my acting, my love? Though I'm sorry for hurting you, I know humans are delicate creatures, so I tried my best to reduce my strength." He started to caress you hair as you glared at him.

"You just wanted to be a pervert!" You huffed and shifted to look away from him. He laughed before moving his leg in between your thighs and pressing it on your crotch. You blushed as you tried moving away but only grinded on him.

"Pervert... A pervert you're call me? Ha! So I can't sexualize my own spouse? Ah, alas, we must leave now. The night is just upon us, and the children need to get ready." He gets up and lifts you up by your waist to press you against his warm body.

"Papaa!! Hiiii" Mero and Phi screeched as they slammed into their father legs. He bent down to pick them up and place them comfortably in his arms.

"Ah, how's my lovely children? Was your trip to the marketplace pleasant?" Almost instantly, they started to babble about everything that happened and what they saw and did. You smiled softly at the sight, but perked up in realization.

"Ah, so I won't get punished for taking the children out?" You asked happily. Zephyr glanced at you once before adjusting the children away from you before whispering.

"No." And had an innocent smile on his face whilst saying that. Then, he moved back to his original position.

"Firstly, you took the children out of the place without permission. Do you not know how dangerous that was for them? Two, you... you didn't invite me to come." You pursed your lips as you looked down. You heard him sigh in disappointment.

"Though, it's only been a month since we've gotten married, so I don't expect you to be comfortable that quickly with me." He shook his head before stopping in front of you and staring into your eyes. He walked closer and leaned down to kiss you.

"Love you." He said gently, and his children giggled and looked at your shocked face.

"Also, your punishment will happen promptly once we've reached the place." You froze as you looked up at him, only to see a happy smile on his face. Yeah, no, you could already feel the pain that your body was going through, the whips and hits you would face made you shudder.

"Not what you were expecting, my love?" He said as he slammed his lengthy cock right into you at fast speeds, making you crumble in pain and pleasure at his movements. He made sure that all of the lovebite he created was painful and bleeding.

"Alas... you really do have a sexy body, only made for me... Mhh, for going out of place without permission, I'll, ahh, up the number of guards you have... Fuck, you're wrapping around my cock very nice for me, and only for me..." Then Zephyr leaned in to bite your shoulder as you came again for the 4th time.

Tags: @emptybrain01

Anyways yall must have missed me poasting. I'm soz, the wifi was shit and im practicing for a presentation in front of people that i dont know. *quakes in horror*.

Alas, i cant do anything about it. *playes the worlsed smallest violin.*

Noot pifftred

Edit: i forgor tags again for the 3rd time

#yandere #yandere x reader #male yandere #yandere monster #yandere monster x reader #yandere alien x reader

[bun-z-bakery]

A/N: heres a little something extra too ;3

DogDay x reader

CW: suggestive

Bath Day

You were off from work today, which usually means it's your day to relax with your little family or struggling to take the bigger members a bath.

Today just so happened to be the latter, and boy were they in for the surprise.

The four of you had just finished eating lunch and dogday was on dish duty today. But you just happened to be a bit too quiet.

"Angel? Are you ok?"

He calls out for you but he doesn't get a response.

Once he's done he's off to find you. You're not in the common areas so his way over to your shared room.

"Angel?"

He opens the door, revealing you behind it.

"Hey!"

You walk up to him, giving him a hug

"Guess what today is!~"

You sang as he hugged you back, you felt him freeze in place.

"But I washed dishes! Please, Angel"

He whines as you take his hand, reluctantly following you to the bathroom that's been prepared for the soon-to-be fight he would put up.

"I don't think I need a bath just ye–"

"Someone thought it would be fun to play outside in the mud while I was away"

He stands at the door while you check the water temperature and gather what you need.

"So now here we are! Plus kissy needs a bath too but you take me a while."

You laugh, using the bathing brush to point at him.

He sighs and makes his way in, he loves you he really does but he hates baths. Getting soaked made him a bit heavier, and drying off was a pain. He knows he has to though, even he admits that he smells.

"Come on the water feels nice!"

Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, he stares at you confused for a second.

"Angel! What are you doing?!"

Your clothes were now on the floor as you sat in the water, you wore an orange bathing suit with little dogs on it.

Adorable

He thought to himself as he walks closer.

"Well I figured this might make things a little bit easier for you"

You smile at him, and motion for him to sit.

He makes his way into the tub, his tail wags happily splashing some water on the floor. You didn't care, not only was he happy, but you were happy too. Who knew he'd enjoy bubbles when he wasn't whining all the time?

"Stay still!"

You playfully shout as you attempt to wash the giant dog, squirming in the tub.

"Angel that tickles!"

He laughs out, splashing you with more water.

At this point, you were both soaked from head to toe, so was the floor... and everything else but you'll deal with that later.

Later on in the day

You finished giving Kissy her bath and helped Poppy brush her hair.

Exhausted was an understatement, but you wouldn't have it any other way, you loved seeing them happy and of course, smelling nice.

"Guys, dinners almost done!"

You call out to everyone as you cut some vegetables.

Suddenly, a pair of giant hands grab onto your waist, making you jump.

"Dogday! I could've hurt you!"

You warn as you put the knife down, he doesn't let go, he takes his chance and leans down to your ear.

"Thank you, Angel~"

You gasp as he pulls you closer

"For what, exactly?"

He peppers your cheek with kisses, his tail wags viciously.

"The bath, I had fun!"

You hum in response as you try to cover your now burning-hot face.

"How about next time you don't wear an–"

"Smells good, Y/N!"

Poppy yells out as she and Kissy make their way down the stairs, you try to get out of Dogdays grip but he squeezes you before letting you go, and leans against the counter acting like nothing happened.

Kissy and Poppy poke their heads into the kitchen, you refuse to look at them.

"I thought you said you were almost done?"

She asks, sounding a bit disappointed.

You go back to cutting the vegetables

"Y-yeah I just had to quickly deal with something!"

You nervously chuckle

"All right! We'll watch some TV then!"

You nod in response, once they leave you side eye Dogday.

"What? I did nothing wrong my sweet Angel~"

He teases, crossing his arms and shrugging his shoulders smugly.

"The couch tonight."

You attempt to say coldly, trying to hide the smile on your face.

"You seem to be forgetting something, Angel"

"Oh and what's that?"

You laugh

"You seem to have forgotten who you belong to, hm?"

He leans to your ear once again

"Maybe you need a reminder~"

He purrs into your ear, running his fingers down the side of your neck.

Yeah, maybe you should call out of work tomorrow.

#bun z writes #dogday #dogday x y/n #dogday x reader #sunnyangel #poppy playtime x reader #poppy playtime

[phoenixblaze1412]

may i ask for a child reader (again), where the reader is a veeery picky eater? i can imagine confused Iota almost making a ruckus. (Iota is so silly xd)

-🧊

Of course! You can request as many as you want after all^^

Eat Your Carrots.

Every day, a certain segment would be assigned to be the one to handle your meals and feed you. A strict order was ensured that you must not have sweets unless you finish a meal.

Yes, you must eat the vegetables too.

Your worst enemy.

Iota was the one assigned to be feeding you lunch. He was excused from feeding you breakfast since Dottore was the one who fed you that time.

"(Y/n), if you could just stop being so picky then you could eat your damn sweets!"

Iota was holding out a spoonful of sliced carrots in front of you, your plate almost empty except for the sliced carrots. He was happy you were able to cooperate with eating the broccolis when he promised to double your dessert for today. But the carrots were the last thing that you didn't want to consume.

He tried every trick he and the other segments could use when feeding you but you still won't open your mouth and Iota is not having it.

"Nuh uh! I don't wanna eat those things!"

"Eat the fuc-.. stupid carrots!"

"No!"

Iota sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He was so close to pulling his hair out if you keep saying no. He knows his creator would be disappointed at him if he finds out you haven't finished eating your lunch yet. Besides, Iota doesn't want Theta or Omega to always be the reliable ones.

He prefers to be the only segment that you favor most.

Letting out a sigh, he stared back at you, who was looking at him with your arms crossed and a pouting face. If you didn't want to eat the orange vegetable then there's gotta be a reason to it, and he's going to find out why.

"Why don't you like eating the carrots?"

The question caught you off guard as you uncrossed your arms and looked at Iota. You watched as he pushed the carrots in the middle of your plate. You only grinned and told Iota the reason why.

"It's because they look like Uncle Childe and I don't wanna eat Uncle Childe because I like him."

You don't wanna eat the carrots because they look like a certain ginger war freak?

You? You like the eleventh harbinger?

You didn't notice it but Iota was already glaring down at the carrots and planning a certain someone's death. Well, he did notice that the harbinger would hang out with you first whenever he comes back from a mission. Now Iota is also starting to hate carrots too.

"If you eat the carrots, I'll go and ask Epsilon to make you those macarons that you've been craving for a while now."

Now that got your attention, Iota noticed you looking at him with stars in your eyes at the mention of macarons.

"Deal!"

A grin spread across Iota's face as he watched you quickly munch down on the carrots until you finally emptied your plate. Iota got up from his seat as he took your plate away before making his way back to you and ruffled your hair.

"Aren't you a good mutt? Let's go find Epsilon, yeah?"

---

You were happily eating the macarons Epsilon baked for you as you sat upon Iota's lap while watching him read some of the files Beta handed to him.

The door to the office was opened and Childe peeked in with a smile.

"Hey, (Y/n)! I was thinking we should go and visit the town--"

Childe moved his head away from the door at the last second as a scalpel pierced through it. The blade managing to leave a small slice through the harbinger's cheek as he looked at the segment in front of him.

"They are not going anywhere. Thank you very much."

Iota hissed as he glared at the harbinger, his other hand covering your eyes while you kept eating the treats. You didn't really mind if your eyes were covered, this would usually happen if your father or the segments doesn't want you to see anything.

"Oh? I didn't take you to be protective of the mini 'ttore."

"That is none of your business, Tartaglia. I suggest you go on to your merry way or else I'll tell Lord Dottore that you are trying to take his child away again without his knowledge."

Childe only raised his hands in defense as he chuckled nervously.

"Come on now, no need to be so mean. But of course, I'll take my leave now. See you later (Y/n)!"

The hand that was covering your eyes was immediately moved away as you looked at Iota who was muttering and cursing under his breath.

"That damn carrot-boy. I oughta make a potion that turns him into a carrot and feed him to a horse.."

Iota let out a sigh before looking at you curiously when you held out a macaron in front of his face.

"Don't frown anymore, Iota. You look better when you smile. Have a macaron, this always makes me smile."

"Ick..."

You pouted at Iota's response as you let out a huff before placing the treat close to his face before shoving it in his mouth. Iota looked at you in surprised as he sat up straight before rolling his eyes and eating the macaron.

"You're too sweet, you know that? I feel like I'm having a toothache from all your sweetness, mutt."

You let out a squeal when Iota grabbed both of your cheeks and started to pull at it with a grin on his face. You tried to get out of his grip and telling him to let go but Iota wouldn't budge.

"I'll let you go if you promise me that you'll eat your carrots."

"I will! I will!"

"Good mutt."

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #dottore #dottore x reader #zandik x reader #il dottore #gender neutral reader #female reader #il dottore x reader #child reader

[trulycertain]

I couldn't help wanting to write something ridiculous with spawn!Astarion learning to turn into a bat. And then I got thinking about how the tadpole nerfs spawn powers. AU, post-canon, Tav/Astarion. About 1.3k?

Lora's feeling out a new riff, trying to work out if there's enough of a solid foundation for it to become a song, when there's a thunk and tinkle from the kitchen.

Shit. 

She sneaks through, knowing that Astarion's probably doing the same, if he's all right. If he's not… best to take in the situation. 

A vase rolls past her through the doorway. There's a small flappy sound, like someone's just pulled a sheet of leather taut. What -? An undead, perhaps? She pokes her head round the corner. 

There, sprawled on the kitchen countertop where she normally chops vegetables she'll be the only one eating, next to a fallen jar of herbs, is a bat. Big, albeit not as gigantic as some she's fought who turned out to be vampires in disguise; still, it's got an impressive wingspan, one of them hanging off the counter like a curtain. Or, she thinks, absurdly, the way Astarion likes to dramatically hang an arm off a fainting couch, while he's reading a book. He'll not be impressed by that comparison.

Her unexpected visitor is albino, and… fluffy. Really fluffy, chest like the world's smallest thick fur rug, or like it's got a little proud collar. Small, clawed feet are sticking inelegantly in the air, not quite spread-eagled (spread-batted?), as if it's going to try and jump back onto them. But who's heard of bats standing?

…Unless it's a vampire lord. But there aren't any of those after them - well, not anymore. And they're usually better at the whole bat thing. Less of crashing into Astarion's favourite vase. 

How in the hells did it get in? It's not like she left a window open; both she and Astarion are a tad too paranoid for that. 

It's not dead, at least: its chest is moving furiously. Makes sense. Bats are smaller, probably with a faster heartbeat. If it's in pain - well, she hopes it's not in pain. 

She's got no idea how to escort it off the premises. It's not that she's got a problem with bats - more that she's certain neither she, nor the bat, signed up for this. An angry wild animal? She has visions of it hanging from her finger by its teeth. Though honestly, she had a similar vision with Astarion, and things turned out pretty well there. But they're only borrowing this place for a while - she called in a favour. That favour probably didn't include bat tenants. 

Edging closer, she notes that it doesn't seem to be moving. Knocked itself out? Oh, that's not ideal. Though maybe she can sneak it out before it wakes up… No, from what she can see - one red eye - it's just staring at the ceiling. Almost glumly, if a bat can be glum. 

And then it spots her, and… lifts its wings to hide its face. In embarrassment. 

White fur. Red eyes. The way he looks when he's caught between trying to brazen it out or stalking off to hide his cringing. 

“...Astarion?”

Its - his ears twitch, and he raises a wing, holds it there. The way he'll raise a hand in acknowledgement and Don't even say it. 

She blinks, and whistles a few notes, hits a high C - there. Speak with animals. That should do it. “Are you hurt?” she tries; it’s been a while since she’s done this spell without a lute.

“Only my pride,” he mutters, mulish and with the slightest nasality - makes sense, between a flat snout and fangs. “I think your basil came off worse than I did.”

She stares. Definitely strange, hearing that familiar wry voice come out of a bat.  “What happened?” He’s normally so pretty - the kind of pretty he endlessly preens about. The pinkness of his nose is oddly adorable against white fur, but she suspects he’s ended up as a vampire bat. Apparently, vampire bats look like they’ve crashed face-first into a wall. Which he most likely has, but she suspects that’s no explanation for the horseshoe-shaped nose and his little squinting eyes.  It's sort of cute. If you're very, very drunk. Or if you're overly fond of a grumpy vampire.

“Nothing we need talk about,” he says hastily. He rubs a thumb over his face. “I’m sure I’ll work out how to change back in a moment.”

“You’re not stuck like this, are you?”

He casts a narrow look at her with those blood-red eyes - different, and yet so very familiar. “Darling, are you saying you wouldn’t love me if I were a rodent?”

“Astarion.”

He stretches a wing experimentally: pale, thin skin and white fingers. “I don’t… think so. There’s already a sort of - itch under my skin, like I just have to yawn hard enough and, pop. But first, I need to brood.”

“I thought only Cazador could turn into a bat.”

“Into a cloud of bats, my dear.” He gestures at himself with a folded wing, more stiffly than his usual - difficult, when your arm doesn’t bend the same way. “Do I look like a cloud?”

She can’t help her grin at that. “I don’t know. You are all white and fluffy.”

He sighs, loudly. When she reaches out a slow, careful hand, however, he doesn’t move - even in this form, he’d dodge. Or she’d get an annoyed warning nip for her trouble, she’s sure of it. Fangs are second nature to him. As is how to be gentle with them, by now.

She says, “I love your ears.” She strokes a fingertip carefully over them; they twitch underneath it. “Look at the size of them!”

“Ugh. If you’re about to make an elf joke, I have one word of advice for you: don’t.”  It’s deeply surreal watching a bat roll its eyes.

“I wasn’t! Is your hearing better like this?”

“Much.” He makes an expression that’s probably meant to be a grimace, but on a slightly squashed bat-face, it’s not so different. “I can hear the tavern three doors away. Their bard isn’t nearly so good as you.”

She strokes between his ridiculous rabbity ears, just with a finger, lightly; big as he is for a bat, he’s so tiny. Even tinier than usual. She'd hate to hurt him. “Have I mentioned I love you?”

“Yes, yes, I know you’re weak to flattery.” But there’s warmth in his voice.

“Do you want to hop up? I feel like you won’t want to turn back into yourself on the counter.”

“Please. That test flight - flights, really - was exhausting. No-one warned me there would be so much flapping. I thought creatures of the night would be fonder of a smooth glide, but no.”

She holds out an arm - and then there’s a bat clinging to her woollen shirt with thumbs and little claws. Clinging being the operative word. He climbs up her a little uncertainly, holding tight while she stays as still as she can, until he arrives on her shoulder, flopping there with a dramatic sigh.

She heads through to the lounge, and beside her ear, a small voice says, “I’ve been able to do… more, since our wriggling little unwelcome passengers were removed. I don’t know if it’s that or simply not starving. Honestly, I thought the bat thing was a myth. For spawn, anyway - we get the rather inferior part of the ‘vampire powers’ arrangement. But the claws have come back, and the agility. I’ve never felt so strong. It’s… strange. And a little intoxicating.” She can’t quite raise a brow at him when he’s so close to her, but he clearly gets the idea, because he adds hastily, “As in, I’m rather happy. Not as in ‘I’m about to become a cackling vampire lord.’ We’ve... covered that one already. It’s more - is this what it’s meant to be like? Being a spawn? Not a starved slave?” His voice is soft, with a genuine, non-snarling curiosity to it. A little amazement. She feels him shuffle just a bit closer to her, wing curling a little around her back.

Sometimes he doesn’t like to be touched when he’s thinking about the bad old days, but this clearly isn’t one of those times. At that, she has to sit in an armchair, and reach up, offering a hand to her shoulder. He clambers onto it, with the kind of instant trust that makes her chest ache - though he does give her a puzzled look while he shuffles about to get comfortable and sits on her knuckles. He folds his wings neatly, primly, in a way that’s so him she’d laugh in any other circumstance. She sneaks over her other hand and strokes his pointy pale head, runs a soothing couple of fingers over his back. She feels sad for him, but also, Lathander, he’s so fluffy. She could happily do this for a while.

The flap of wings startles her. What - ?

Being hugged by a bat is more like having a very strange necklace. One that hooks its thumbs into the back of her shirt collar, accidentally tugging it wider, ears twitching against her neck in a way that’s almost ticklish, tiny heart fluttering against her collarbone. She holds him there with a hand, thumb stroking through his fur. He murmurs, “I just wished, and this time…”

The smallest cloud of mist blooms. She blinks, and the world is suddenly rather heavier. It could be the rogue sitting side-saddle in her lap, his arms around her neck, grinning at her. He blinks in a little surprise.

“...there I was. Hello, darling.” Leaning in, he brushes a swift, smiling kiss to her cheek.

She reaches up and runs a hand through his hair, the way she knows he likes even if it ruins his pomade. “You were very cute.”

“Of course I was. I was adorable.” He winces. “Aside from looking like I’d run face-first into a carriage.”

“You were cute!”

“Hm. Good for scouting tucked-away places that the owners don’t want us to be, however.” His happiness takes on a fiendish edge.

“You’re going to pick locks with your little thumbs?” 

The idea seems to delight him rather than offend. “Once I learn how? Absolutely.” He swoons dramatically, leaning back over the chair arm. “Now, darling, I find I’ve utterly run out of energy.” He darts her a look from under his hand. “It must have been the transformation. I don’t know if I can even find it in me to stagger to bed.”

She raises a brow. “Really?”

“Really. I’m just… utterly drained. It’s a mystery.” He holds his arms out. “Would you mind?”

While she’s carrying him through to her room, she says, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Oh?” he asks smugly, arms still wound around her neck. “And what’s that?”

“You’re going to pull me in with you.”

Pouting, he says, “How dare you. I’ll have you know I’m an honourable man. Well. I'm a man.”

“You’re going to pull me in with you and make me cuddle you to sleep.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds disgustingly juvenile. True, but juvenile.”

“This was easier when you were less than a kilogram of fur.” Not that she minds him being a bit heavier. It’s a relief, compared to how bird-boned he sometimes felt under all the muscle in the early, hungry days.

“I can fix that.” There’s a tiny poof! and then… a self-satisfied bat fluttering awkwardly to sit on top of her head.

She reminds him, “Watch the hair while you’re surveying your kingdom.”

“I could get used to this.”

“I’m never getting used to this.”

#batstarion #astarion x tav #astarion ancunin #Astarion #BG3 spoilers #bg3 epilogue spoilers #My fic #lora mctavish #Stupid ridiculous fluff (and I don't just mean how fluffy he is) #baldur's gate 3

[unclewaynemunson]

It's a little past two AM when Wayne opens his lunchbox and finds himself unable to stop the smile that's creeping onto his face.

He's met with a note, in neat handwriting:

My dear Wayne, I hope you're having a good day/night at work. I made you some extra healthy sandwiches because of that cough you were worried about – I hope you like fresh tomato and lettuce. (Please don't get mad at me for trying to make you eat vegetables on your bread.) I also hid some clementines in your bag. I'll be thinking about you when I go to bed, and I can't wait to see you again in the morning. Love, S.

'Munson!'

He startles when he hears his own name and looks up to find his colleagues looking at him with various degrees of amusement.

'Who woulda thought?' John McMillan laughs while some of the younger guys let out wolf whistles. 'Wayne Munson got himself a lady?'

'We've been working here together for almost ten years and I don't think I ever saw you smile before,' Bernie adds. 'So she wrote you a love letter to go with your sandwiches, huh?'

Wayne rubs a hand over his beard, trying to hide his inclination to hide away from all those eyes staring at him like he's something funny. He has never liked being the center of attention.

'Don't act like y'all know somethin' you don't,' he grumbles.

'Who is she?' asks Logan. 'Can't be someone from the trailer park, you never were interested in any of 'em. Found yourself a more classy one? Someone from Loch Nora who gets the hots for a working man?'

Wayne suppresses the urge to roll his eyes at him.

'You got it all wrong, boys,' he says, hoping they'll back off soon.

'Do we, now?' With a taunting smile, John McMillan plucks the note out of Wayne's hands, and starts reading it out loud to his little audience in a high-pitched, faux dramatic voice.

Wayne isn't ashamed, and he knows the teasing is mostly meant in good fun, but he feels an overwhelming relief about the fact that Scott had been smart enough to not sign the note with his full name.

'S, look at that!' McMillan exclaims triumphantly, putting the note back into Wayne's lunchbox. 'So he got a mystery lady... Guys, who do we know with names starting with an S? Any girlfriends or wives we should get worried 'bout cheating?'

There's laughter, some guesses thrown around by people thinking they're funny, but Wayne mostly lets it glide off him, the same way he'd endure their comments about Eddie back in March. Granted, this teasing is much less mean-spirited than the so-called banter back then, but he still doesn't like to get involved. The less these men know about him, the better; that's a lesson he learned a long time ago. So he eats his bread – and even a clementine – while he lets them guess and pretends to laugh with them.

When the break is over and they get up to go back to their job, Bernie matches his pace to Wayne's.

'Look, you know we've been teasing you, but we're happy for ya, man, you know that, right?' he says.

Wayne pats him on his shoulder. Bernie is a good guy. He was one of the few men around here who actually seemed concerned about Eddie when all that shit went down. As far as Wayne knows, he never chose a side back then, never came for his nephew like those guys like Logan or John McMillan, with their big mouths and narrow minds.

'All good, Bernie, thanks,' he says.

'Does she make you happy?'

The question catches him by surprise; it prompts his lips to curve into the second unexpected smile of that day.

He thinks about the way Scott looked at him before they said goodbye this evening. He thinks about the sparkle in Scott's eyes whenever he talks about his students. He thinks about the way his hands held Wayne all through the night they spent together last weekend. He thinks about his neat mustache, his soft sweater vests, his long fingers cradled around one of Wayne's mugs. He pictures the private smile that must've surely been on Scott's face, a smile nobody saw, when he filled Wayne's lunchbox with fresh veggies and a surprise note.

'Very,' he tells Bernie, before slowing down his steps to be left alone with his thoughts about the man who will be waiting for him in bed after his shift, asleep and with his hair a mess, but waking up for a second to kiss Wayne's lips like he always does.

There is nothing that makes him happier than that one hour they get to share in bed together before Scott's alarm goes off in the morning.

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #wayne munson #scott clarke #clarkson #wayne munson x scott clarke #clarkson my beloved #fruity ficlet #gah it makes me so happy writing clarkson again #their presence is like a warm blanket to me #i missed them

[thefiery-phoenix]

PLATONIC YANDERE TODOROKI FAMILY HEADCANONS

You are the youngest sibling and they are INSANELY OVERPROTECTIVE of you 

They won't micro chip you and all that shit, but... for your safety, they will insert bugs in almost ALL of your electronics for your safety, of course. They don't want their youngest sibling/child to be in any danger now, do they?

Rei likes braiding your hair and Fuyumi likes dressing you up which by the way, she thinks looks ADORABLE on you 

Natsuo sometimes gives you shoulder massages while eating and Dabi/Touya likes feeding his youngest sibling. The brothers think that you're a delicate precious little angel that needs constant attention or they'd get themselves injured

The whole family loves to SPOIL you to death 

Shoto would be breathing down your neck every second of the day he can; sitting close to you or holding your hand whenever he can

If you're angry about something, say, you didn't win something though you've worked really hard for it? Surprise, surprise! You're now the winner of whatever contest you've recently entered. Someone making fun of you constantly? Bones will be broken and NONE of them will be from YOUR family 

Believe it or not, Endeavor actually has a soft spot for you. He NEVER yelled at you, nor did he ever raise his voice at you, like AT ALL (Lol, I can't believe I'm writing this since I know this ain't gonna be true but put up with me peeps)

When Enji's not around, and you're throwing one of your tantrums, big brother Touya will come to calm you down. And you do. At the sight of his music playlist (Which btw the ENTIRE family has composed ESPECIALLY for you WITHOUT any cuss words. They don't want their baby cussing)

No one cusses while you're around 

However 2 things are off the table for you. One, no hanging out with boys other than your brothers. If you are spotted hanging around them, well... they can say goodbye to a couple of bones and you'll get your favorite things taken away from you by Enji and Rei though it breaks everyone's heart to see you pout and sulk and cry, they have no choice to do it. It's for your OWN good you know and two, NO going ANYWHERE without one of them being there to supervise you. Who knows what sort of trouble you'll get yourself into and after all, the outside world isn't safe for an innocent precious naive angel like you 

One day, you and Touya had gone to a concert since your favorite band had come to town. You guys had left in the morning and returned just before dinner. Enji and Rei were getting anxious about where your brother had taken you for so long. Fuyumi and Natsuo were texting Shotou back and forth about you, but he only told them that they will be returning soon and Shoto was repeatedly calling you but you didn't answer since you put your phone on silent. Since that day, Enji and Rei didn't let you go out for concerts IF you didn't place your phone on silent AND ANOTHER sibling of yours had to be around you the next time you were alone with Touya

Natsuo once saw you cut yourself accidentally while cutting some vegetables. After that you weren't allowed to be in the kitchen while Rei was cooking and BOOM, what a shocker, the ENTIRE FREAKING house was baby proofed as well (good luck)

They might ''accidentally'' hurt you just to keep you 'safe' at home. Why go out where there are SO MANY dangers when your family can protect you from them? Besides, it doesn't matter if you ran to Enji to escape them. Sure he could keep them away from you for some time, but he's a pro hero that's needed in the country every day. So once Enji's out of the house, they'll have to lecture how how being a tattletale isn't good for you

Like I said before, INSANELY POSSESSIVE and OVERPROTECTIVE ASF

#yandere bnha #yandere bnha x reader #yandere bnha characters #yandere bnha characters x reader #platonic yandere todoroki family #platonic yandere todoroki family oneshots #platonic yandere todoroki family headcanons #platonic yandere todoroki family imagines #platonic yandere todoroki family x reader #yandere todoroki family x reader #yandere todoroki clan #yandere todoroki clan imagines

[eldritch-spouse]

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/747047318802579456/can-i-eat-santi-and-not-like-just-eat-him-out-or

Santi’s obsession going to Morell and asking how he would best cook concubi

He knows who it is that wandered into his kitchen without knocking almost immediately.

First, you stink of demon, particularly the one he works with. Second, you're starting to pick up on that lilt Santi uses when he's going to ask for something.

" Yuh? " He says, turning just barely around to see you.

While you have yet to reach the incubus' brand of shamelessness, you've started to wear more revealing clothes. Things he gets for you, probably. And damn that stupid horny demon, he really knows how to show off those little pockets of fat on a piggie's pretty tummy.

" I was thinking about something, and surely someone as talented as you must know how to help me... "

" Uhuh. " Morell does not have time for this bullshit.

Turnip keeps waving a brownie at you, because clearly if you barged in the kitchen then you must be hungry. He figures you'll eventually cave and eat it, a pink bobble's resilience is no joke.

" So, if I wanted to, say... Cook an incubus-"

Morell chokes.

" Oh dear, are you okay? Well, what would be the best way to do it? "

Morell washes his hands just so he can drag them down his face and massage his temples.

" ... This a sex thing? " He deadpans.

You blink at him and cock your head.

It's always a sex thing.

" Ah'm not gonna cook Santi for ya. " He blinks. " Don' wanna, an' ah can't either. Not unless ah want ta be flayed alive or somethin' ... " Morell makes vague gestures with his hands, briefly trying to imagine what Krulu might put him through.

You twirl your hair with one hand and pout in a way he's sure the incubus taught you to. Because it's irritatingly eye-catching.

" Listen... I just want your opinion, Mori. " You whine.

Morell does not want you and him to be on a first name basis.

Nevertheless, he knows he should at least try to not think about how you'll use such information and actually answer the question. Because you're about as stubborn as the horned menace himself, if he had to guess.

" Fuck's sake. " The chef sighs. " Demons are hot. "

" Yeah, I would know- "

He looks at you like he wants to pull your ear, but doesn't. You might moan from it, he doesn't know what to expect anymore.

" Demons are hot. " Morell repeats warningly. " An' naturally spicy too, so you serve 'em with stuff ya'd usually get for spiced meats. Can't go wrong with a salad, pickled vegetables, sour creams, that kinda thing... "

For once, he gets into the drivel of preparation well enough to miss you rubbing your thighs together.

" It ain't always easy pickin' tha right parts, but Santi's big n' full in plenty o' places- "

You make a childish 'oooh' that jarringly halts his train of thought.

" I'll be sure to tell Santi that's what you think of his body. " You wink.

It's impossible. This is like Santi 2.0 in his kitchen. If the two of you ever team up then Morell is just going to start throwing pans.

" Woman ah need ya to shut tha fuck up- "

#Morell oc #Santi oc

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

I headcanon that the person that spoiled Lan Sizhui most growing up wasn't actually LWJ, but LXC.

He finds out LWJ brought in a child and his Baby Senses™️ immediately go off full blast

There is a baby on the premises and LXC will spoil him, rules be damned. He's been craving to do that ever since LWJ grew up anyway.

Zewu-Jun attends clan meetings with A-Yuan on his shoulders for years and nobody says anything because the one time someone tried talking A-Yuan into getting off, his eyes welled up and his lower lip jutted out trembling - and Zewu-Jun's otherwise kind smile exuded Sunshot-era murderous intent

"Wangji, you need to rest. I will watch A-Yuan for you."

"Brother, you've babysat him this entire week. I can have him for an afternoon-"

"It's alright-"

"Brother, I miss him."

LWJ and LXC nearly fight over who gets to spend more time with the baby

The Lan sect's budget acquires a sizeable gap due to "unforeseen expenditures". The unforeseen expenditures are the fact that LXC took A-Yuan to see the merchants in Caiyi Town and he made irresistible puppy dog eyes at him at the toys stand

"Where is Zewu-Jun? We need to talk to him about-"

"He's playing tag with A-Yuan, and specifically instructed us not to disturb him unless someone is dead or dying."

"Fair enough."

A-Yuan becomes Zewu-Jun's super cute advisor whenever he has to do paperwork/make decisions. He writes important things down while A-Yuan sits next to him and draws pictures with his expensive brushes. He may or may not chew on the delicate handles too, but that's okay, it gives them character.

"I have to go to the emergency discussion conference tomorrow, so we can't go sword flying anymore"

"Tell them your tummy hurts so you can stay home."

(He does. It works.)

"Brother, I trust you, but it is dangerous to take a child this young flying on the sword."

"Wangji, I am more than capable of keeping A-Yuan safe. Haven't I done the same with you?"

A-Yuan returns raving about the cool tricks Zewu-Jun did and LWJ gives LXC A Look™️ because he knows none of those tricks are safe. From experience.

LWJ doesn't let LXC take A-Yuan to discussion conferences for many reasons - and LXC deals with it by shopping at every single children's store in Lanling to bring his favorite nephew gifts

"We appreciate your generosity, brother, but where will we put all these things?"

"I could ask an annex be built for the jingshi."

Whenever LXC wants to get out of something, he says he "has urgent uncle duties that cannot be postponed" and flees

"Brother, A-Yuan must eat his vegetables without being bribed with candy afterwards."

"It is called a rewards system, Wangji, and it works. He is eating his vegetables. Even the broccoli!"

NMJ takes a liking to the kid but has no idea how to interact with him so he brings him play weapons and teaches him saber techniques.

NHS has paint sets sent as gifts and LXC walks around with colorful handprints on his robes for days.

"I wonder why A-Yuan doesn't like A-Yao all that much..."

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #original thots #lxc #lsz #give lxc a kid #if nobody wants to i will

[asliceofzosan]

pspsps Zeff meeting Ayari 👀👀👀

oH YOU REALLY DONE DID IT NOW

zeff knows how much sanji loves kids.

he first noticed it when he was roughly turning into a teenager. around the age of 13-14. it isn't often that families come to the baratie. but when they do, sanji actually volunteers to wait tables when on normal understaffed days, zeff would have to drag him out of the kitchen kicking and screaming. he didn't understand it until he decided to watch sanji and everything made sense.

if one is the child of a pirate or a marine, you're bound to be a little fussy (case and point: sanji). and his boy was a natural at calming down fussy babies. those chubby little rascals would immediately stop crying when sanji would pick them up and carry them on his hip, taking everybody's order like usual. the parents would look at him gratefully, even allowing him so far as to let him wait other tables with their baby in his arms.

during sanji's break, he would play with them. if they won't stop crying, he'd ask patty or carne to heat up some milk or mushy vegetables to feed the kid. and more often than not, sanji would sometimes be seen with a sound asleep baby as he barks out the orders to a bewildered kitchen.

zeff asked him once if he wanted a baby sibling. sanji just laughed until his sides hurt.

"you can barely raise me, you old coot." he said in response with a bright grin that reminded zeff how much he loved this kid. "i'm better off as an only child. trust me."

(he does. trust sanji, that is. but he will never forget how his laugh sounded pained. like an echo of a terrible memory. he'll come to realize why after a long while.)

as sanji grew up, his natural gravitation towards children never wavered. in fact, kids often flocked towards him at the baratie, following behind him like little ducklings in a row. sanji's smile was softer on those days, the sparkle in his eyes as prominent as when sanji talks about his beloved all blue. the kids would hang onto his every word.

he doesn't know how qualified he is at knowing good parenting from bad parenting. but he did raise sanji for most of his life. his little eggplant turned out pretty decent by his standards.

so of course, it's a no brainer for zeff that if sanji would one day have his own kid, he'd be the best dad in the world.

"head chef?" patty says as he enters zeff's office. "someone downstairs really wants to meet ya."

"if they want a discount they better fuckin' run." he gruffly replies without looking up from the newspaper. "customer is always right my ass—"

"sir?"

"–and you know what's real upsetting? the fact that they think they're all hot shit! i don't care who you are. you pay to eat here–"

"chef-"

"–would be nice if i didn't get some dumbass like that for once—"

"chef, it's sanji!"

zeff has fought sea beasts, marine fleets, and pirates with a worse death wish than him. he has faced starvation, dehydration, massive bloodloss without batting an eye.

but nothing. absolutely nothing makes his heart jump more than hearing that his son has come home to visit.

"well what the fuck are you doing standing there, patty?" he bellows, standing up and stalking towards the open door. "you better be preparing a feast for my boy."

"actually, he's already in the kitchen cooking one himself."

zeff laughs. that sounds exactly like his boy, alright.

it took zeff all of two seconds to notice that sanji isn't alone.

the swordsman is there, hanging off his shoulder like it's nobody's business (and he's pretty sure sanji mentioned at one point that he had gotten his head out of his ass and finally got together with him. lord was that an ordeal). and it looked normal for a few seconds until sanji turned around to face zeff.

there was a child there.

strapped to sanji's chest with some sort of blanket-like contraption was a baby. it couldn't be more than two years old. its shrieks of delight echoed in the kitchen as it drooled all over sanji's suit. its hair was green – the same shade as that of the swordsman glued to sanji's side. and it was tied up into little pigtails that bounced as it moved.

"zeff!" sanji greeted, that same bright sunny smile plastered on his face. "come meet your granddaughter!"

his... what?

then he looked closer at her and it all made sense.

the curly eyebrows.

but it also made no sense at all. because the longer zeff stared at his granddaughter, the more confused he felt because how in the love of the all blue did sanji get a child that looked exactly like him and his idiot swordsman?

he was so much in his head that he didn't notice sanji take the kid out of her baby sling and hold her out in front of him. he was brought back to reality when one small hand wrapped around the end of his mustache with a continuous giggle. zeff stared at her, his whole world stopped on its axis. he never saw sanji as a baby. he wonders if this is the closest he'll get to experiencing that for the first time...

then the baby pulled on his mustache with a high pitched shriek that could reach the heavens.

"jiji!" the little girl squealed, now holding onto zeff's mustache with two chubby baby hands. zeff stayed rooted to his spot, transfixed by the girl's mere existence. but also there's a stirring in his heart that occurs when she smiles at him. she looks exactly like sanji. though with a lot less teeth.

"would you look at that, old man." zoro laughed as he gently pried his daughter's (????) fingers off of zeff's mustache. "you get her fifth word. congratulations."

on a normal day, (but god what even classifies as normal anymore?) zeff would have probably kicked that swordsman's chest in and sent him flying into the next room. but there's something about the way sanji's smile softens as he watches zoro play with the baby. his eyes mist over and the only reason he probably isn't openly crying right now is because zeff is right there.

there are precious few instances where zeff's seen sanji genuinely happy.

now is one of them.

he coughs roughly to get their attention. all three of them look up, sanji's gaze particularly nervous. but zeff just shook his head, figuring he'll ask all the dumb questions later, and holds his hands out expectantly.

"you gonna let your father hold his grandbaby or or ya just gonna hog her the whole time you're here?"

the laugh that escapes sanji's mouth has both zeff and zoro staring fondly at him. then when sanji transfers his baby girl into zeff's arms, sanji's smile is freer and more open than zeff's seen it in years.

"zeff," sanji says, smoothing down ayari's hair down with one hand, his other hand resting on zeff's bicep. a strong grip. a grounding force. "meet ayari. our little blessing."

ayari coos up at zeff and grabs his mustache again. sanji bends down slightly to rain her little face with a million kisses. zeff just stares at this all with the barest hint of a smile on his face.

yeah. he always knew sanji was gonna be a good dad.

genuinely i am in agony i love this family 😭 do you have any idea how much i was crying while writing this??? is it possible to get baby fever from your own oc zosan baby???

#niki's fics: she has your eyes #one piece #sanji #roronoa zoro #zosan #red leg zeff #niki's asks #oc: roronoa ayari

[ohbo-ohno]

Serial killer AU and the contrast between how Ghoap treat us and other victims. Maybe they're holding our friend group hostage in the basement, and every day we're forced to see pain and torture of our friends and then Ghost drags us upstairs by our hair and....

The softest pillows ever, Soap helds pur hands so we won't struggle as Simon tortures us with cumming over and over again. We're literally covered in blood, they are covered in blood, and Ghost is so mean with everyone( Soap laughs as our friends struggle against his axe and then covers our face with kisses because we're adorable and he wants us to cry forever((

Scaredy cat whiny wet napkin reader who constantly needs to drink because we cry our daily hydration worth, and we don't really get used to them or fall into Stockholm syndrome, we're just terrified enough to comply with them. It's my favorite dynamic tbh, not just falling in love, but mostly submitting out of fear. Ghost is so soft with us, gots us sweets and vegetables even though Soap is moody because of the lack of meat, because we can't bring ourselves to eat normally after we saw what they did to our friends

🎷🐛

i am fucking LOSING IT

you're so real for preferring scared submission over stockholm syndrome btw. stockholm syndrome can be fun but something about complying only because you're scared... it's so delicious...

also... soap wanting meat... if any of you want a cannibal ghostsoap apocalypse au go read this it's sooo good. ghost kidnaps soap and takes him back to his cannibal compound to keep him :( it's written as a love story from ghost's perspective and a horror story from soap's lol it's great

anyways more about serial killer ghoap below the cut :) listened to bilgewater by brown bird while writing this if any of y'all like gothic country music

soap torturing someone with you in the room (because he hates letting you out of his sight) and he keeps taking breaks to come comfort you and gives you kisses IM :((( wipes your tears away and gets streaks of red all over your face, wants to fuck you cause you look so pretty but his victims don't deserve to see you that vulnerable, that's just for him and simon. ties you up in the corner so you don't run, maybe locks you in a little cage (i will put petplay into everything i write like god has challenged me to it personally). gags you because you get real scream-y and tend to beg for their lives, but sometimes has to tug it out so you can throw up :( tells you to close your eyes when he does something particularly nasty, the gore and your terror in the corner nearly enough to get him off without even touching his dick

being soft with you is like their reward to themselves for torturing people so well lmfao. like, they did so good making those people's last moments agonizing and now they get to cuddle up with you <3 washes off their hands and your face, bundles you up real close to them, gets to lay in all the nice soft warmth now.

ghost is so so tender when washing you off (when he doesn't want you covered in blood - sometimes he leaves it for hours, until it flakes off and you nearly scratch it away until you bleed). he's cooing to you while brushing a soft washcloth over you face, humming a little and saying things like you were such a good girl for us. such good bait, led our toys right to us, thank you so much, doll. look so good covered in their blood, wanna paint you with it sometime. that sound nice to you? no? ok, ok, deep breaths, honey, calm down. just relax for me, you're safe. gonna be real sweet to you now, you don't have to be scared anymore.

and they are sweet. place you on a mattress covered in the softest most plush blankets you've ever seen. they set a little stuffed animal in your arms, let you curl around it and hide your face in it. they know it makes you feel better, and they're nice enough to let you hide your face from them for now :( content themselves with pulling you right up into them (making you hold the stuffed animal when they kill people, look at you all smiley and say make sure he doesn't get dirty, baby, picks it up out of a pool of blood and tsks at you all disappointed, tell you to clean him and say gentle, like we are with you whey you get too rough)

actually can't stop thinking about this au it's like a curse

#this is one of my faves like im obsessed #gremlingottoosilly #ghoap x reader #bo writes #asks and answers #favorites #serial killer ghoap x reader

[maritessa]

I wanted to make a "Would you love me if I was a worm" series for Twst but I got lazy so I'll just post the dialogue. If artists wanna try to draw this, go ahead but please tag me cause I wanna see.

Ships included:

MalleKei (Malleus x Cater)

SilKali (Silver x Kalim)

IdiAzu (Idia x Azul)

JamiFloi (Jamil x Floyd)

AceRid (Ace x Riddle)

Apple Juice (Epel x Deuce)

LeoJami (Leona x Jamil)

Lilia x Trein (help me give them a ship name)

Mallekei

Cater : Would you love me if I was a worm

Malleus: ??? I can just turn you back —

Cater: No, no no! It's about the principle! SO WOULD YOU LOVE ME???

Malleus: ... Sure???

SilKali

Silver: Apparently, Cater asked Lord Malleus about becoming a worm the other day

Silver: Is it a phenomenon that's been happening as of late?

Kalim: *got pulled by Scarabia students*

Students: Housewarden! We need some advice!

Silver: We have to be careful, Kalim *turns around and Kalim is gone*

Silver: Kalim? *Looks on the ground and sees a worm*

Silver: KALIM?! how could this happen

*Picks up worm and puts him in his handkerchief*

Silver: For now, let's make sure you don't get stepped on

Silver: I'll help you get back to your usual self, Kalim! Even if you're a worm, you're my precious friend!

*Kalim in the background*: I'm glad everything's sorted out then!

Silver: Yes, I'm glad I can still understand you even though you're a worm, Kalim....

Kalim: Eh? I'm right here tho?

Silver: Huh?

Kalim: Is your pet worm named Kalim?

Silver: No, actually— well, I'm glad you're safe.

Board game club

Azul: During the Housewarden meeting, Malleus and Kalim were talking about worms for some reason.

Idia: Yeah, it's a meme dude

Azul: Meme?

Idia: Ye, like you ask your significant other *ahem*

Idia: "Would you still love me even if I was a worm?"

Azul: No, I would not. First of all, when we agreed to this relationship, I agreed to it under the premise that we are both intellectual beings who are capable of doing things on their own. Secondly, I'd like to point out that being a worm would mean that you would have a completely different lifestyle, trait, quality of life —

Idia: .... I wasn't genuinely asking, bro. Why are you so serious about this lol

Azul: Shut up!

Basketball Club

Floyd: Jamil!!!!!

Jamil: ?

Floyd: Look at me I'm a worm!

*Does the worm dance move*

Jamil: Yeah, cool. (Why is he talking to me?)

Floyd: Do you love me now?

Jamil: Huh?

Ace: Lolol you're getting it wrong

AceRid

Ace: Housewarden! I finished feeding the flamingos

Riddle: Thank you, Ace.

Ace doesn't leave

Riddle: Is there anything else?

Ace: Hey, Housewarden. If I become a worm, would you still look out for me?

Riddle: Of course.

Riddle: However, you must be underestimating me. As queen, I'd protect you so you won't become a worm in the first place.

Ace: Y-yes, of course. I'm sorry for even considering it.

Apple Juice:

Epel: I got some apples from my hometown, Deuce.

Deuce: Thanks Epel.

Epel: Don't worry, I washed the apples so there won't be any worms.

Deuce: Worms have the luxury of always eating these apples, huh... I wish I was a worm

Epel: Pffft, I'll have to bring you more apples then

LeoJami

Jamil: (what's up with everyone and worms lately)

Leona: ... *Staring at Jamil*

Jamil: ... (why's he staring at me)

Leona: *pushes the vegetables on his plate away from him*

*Vegetables land on Jamil's side*

Jamil: (Why is he giving me vegetables?)

Jamil: I won't turn into a worm so no need for these!

Leona: Huh? What are you talking about

Jamil: (So it wasn't that after all)

Lilia Trein

Trein: it seems like the children are all talking about this "worm" phenomenon

Lilia: Yes, yes. Even my boys seemed excited over it

Trein: I wonder what the whole fuss is about. It's impossible for someone to just become a worm.

Lilia: Well, well. We aren't sure about that now, are we Trein?

Trein: ? Huh

Lilia: I'm just saying you never know what could happen *shrug*

Trein: ....

Lilia: I'll still come visit you like this even if you become a worm though *disappears*

#twst #twisted wonderland #mallekei #silkali #idiazu #basketball club #jamifloi #ridace #acerid #ridoace #apple juice #leojami #trein x lilia #malleus draconia #cater diamond #twst silver #kalim al asim #idia shroud #azul ashengrotto #jamil viper #floyd leech #ace trappola #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #mozus trein #lilia vanrouge #epel felmier #deuce spade #maritessa drawan #maritessa writes

[observeowl]

Unwanted Marriage | Chapter 10 - Mrs Romanoff

Series Masterlist

You were stunned as you looked at the wedding invitation given to you by Sharon. "Y/N, am I mistaking the name of the groom?" Even Wanda wasn't sure if her eyes were playing tricks on her. Sharon was going to get married to Chase Adler.

"Y/N, don't think I will let you off so easily. Now Chase is going to back me, it's a matter of time when I will get rid of you!" Sharon was still unable to let go of her grudge on you even after almost getting injured. "Y/N did not force you to be with anyone. You are the one that gets yourself involved with Adler." Sharon was about to shout at her when you stepped up to protect her. "You have chosen your own road, nobody asked you to marry him."

"You are the one that pulled us together! The person on that day should have been you! You are really a bitch. You trick thousands of people. You and Chase are the perfect match!" You were no longer going to suffer in silence and gave her a resounding slap. "You bitch. You dare to slap me!"

"What happened? Sharon is looking for trouble with Y/N again?" // "I don't know, it seems that Y/N just hit Sharon." // "All the grudges she bears finally turned into a slap?" In an open office, there was hardly any privacy.

"Sharon Carter! Y/N Y/L/N! Into my office. Now!" Tony Stark came out of his office and ordered. "Millicent, you too."

"What happened just now? Why did you start a fight?" He asked to get to the bottom of it. "She hit me! I just gave her my wedding invitation, does she have to be that angry? I'm afraid that someone had a bad marriage, and is jealous that I'll get married."

"If she doesn't have a good marriage, then who does." Tony thought. "Y/N, you tell me, what happened?"

"Chief Editor, I can't tell you clearly what happened, so why don't I just show you? A fox like her deserved to be hit while walking down the street. I think, any woman would have hit her when they heard someone talk about them like that."

"What do you mean, am I wrong?" Sharon was still adamant on her ways to the end. "Sharon Carter! What happened at the dinner had a serious impact on the company. So I will let someone more suitable to come and take your position. From today onwards, you are no longer editor of Group 1."

"I am demoted? (I never realised this bitch has hooked up to Tony Stark. No wonder she can be this overbearing in the office!) Y/N! You better watch out!"

It was pretty much peaceful for the rest of the day except when Natasha texted you saying she'll be waiting for you outside the building after work. "Ah ha, from your look I can tell it's from the goddess himself." Wanda pushed her chair close to you and ambushed you from behind. You pushed her away and faced away, there was no way you were that obvious.

Once it was time to get off work, Wanda rushed you off saying she'll clear the rest for you. You thanked her before packing your bags and leaving. "Do we have plans today?" You asked as you entered the car. "Yes, I'll take you to meet Rick Mason, he has been wanting to see you."

"Rick Mason?"

"A family friend."

You realised anyone related to Natasha or gets to call Natasha a friend are all very rich people. When you entered the estate. To get to the front gate of this mysterious Rick Mason, you have to drive through a long stretch of road.

"You must be Y/N." He greeted you at the front door.

"That's right, I am Y/N, nice to meet you."

"Hi, you can call me Rick. Come on in. Today I have asked the cook to make some of Natasha's favourite dishes, but I don't know whether it is to your taste."

"It smells nice." You complimented. "Never know that you would be so homely."

"I also know how to cook." Natasha said when he heard you complimenting him. "Really?" You questioned. You can't really picture her standing in the kitchen cutting vegetables. "You don't believe it?"

"Nope."

The three of you began eating and talking and the topic eventually landed on Natasha's legs. "I heard that you have not been to the hospital for a long time for a check up? The doctor said there is still hope, you cannot be so wilful."

"Rick, it's all in the past."

"I know in your heart you will never let it go."

"I understand what you mean, but as long as I don't get some things cleaned up, my legs will not recover." You didn't join in on the conversation as you know it was not your place to do so.

You had a lovely time there but it reached the time where you needed to head home. Rick stopped you from entering the car. "Y/N, ever since she was young, Natasha always has her own ideas, so you try to talk to her."

"Alright, I understand." You were deep in thought as Clint drove the two of you back. "What are you thinking?"

"Nat, haven't you thought of getting your legs checked? Rick is right, there is a chance that you will recover."

"Now is not the right time." She didn't give any more explanation. "Is it because of your stepmother? Were your legs also because of them?"

"You don't have to worry about these things, I will handle it." She has to manage so many things. From your estimation, she took over the company for 10 years and fell into an accident a few years after that. You wondered how she got through it all those years. "You don't have to be sympathetic to me." She pulled you closer to rest your head on her shoulder. "I only hope to see admiration and love in your eyes."

===

"Sharon, this is so pretty." She was flaunting her diamond ring in the office and of course there were people who were jealous of her.

"That's nothing, I think she purposely said it in front of you."

"People love to talk, so whatever, we should let her talk if she wants to." As long as she was not actively doing something against you, you don't want to spend your energy on her. "Y/N, someone is looking for you." A colleague told you.

"I will go with you, I am very worried after what happened last time." Wanda was ready to leave her seat and go with you. "Okay."

"Excuse me, are you all looking for me?" You asked the group of guys. "Are you Y/n Y/L/N?" You nodded. "Please come with us." Wanda became suspicious of them when they didn't state their reason for being here. They showed you their police badge, but it wasn't like you could differentiate the real from the fake "We are the police, we need to clarify with you what happened during the dinner."

"Sorry, I wasn't involved in that incident. You have the wrong person."

"Yeah, the victim is just over there, why don't you ask her to assist with your investigation, we don't know anything."

"Please cooperate with our investigation." They started being forceful and grabbed your wrist. "What are you doing?!"

"Help!, we are being kidnapped!" Wanda shouted. "Give me back my phone!"

"Want to call your lawyer? You should wait till you are in the station first!" The two of you started hitting them in the head and their manhood. "You dare to assault the police! You dare to obstruct our work, you can't get away with it now!"

"Hit the police?" // "Are they really the police?" You and Wanda glanced at each other. If they truly are the police, you just got yourself in trouble...

"What is this?" The voice that you came to hate appeared again. "Kidnapping or assaulting the police?"

"She didn't do anything, don't you want me? Let's go then." You tried misdirecting them. "You actually assaulted the police. Policemen, you shouldn't let them off so easily." In the end, the two of you got escorted out the building by the police with a crowd behind you.

Y/N Y/L/N, you will suffer the same pain as I did! No, it's going to be a hundred times worse! I want to see who will save you in the police station this time!

Two of you were thrown into a room when you arrived at the station. "Wait! I need to inform my family! You have no reason to detain us!" You shouted through the door. "No reason? You both assaulted policemen. Is that not reason enough? Just stay here and shut up!"

"What are we supposed to do now?" Wanda asked. "Where is your phone?"

"They have taken it away saying that I cannot bring my phone." Wanda sadly revealed. "Just now when we came, I heard those people were making a call to Adler."

"Adler? Chase Adler?"

"If it's really him then what should we do?" Wanda asked. "Don't worry, it might not be such a coincidence. I mean if it is Adler, he is trying to get back at me but not you."

"Look at this, such deep sisterly love, so touching." A sarcastic clap sounded. "Of course it's me! Last time you escaped, but this time you are at my place. I want to see how you can escape." He makes his way closer to the both of you. "What do you want?"

"Aren't you clear what I want to do? Don't worry, I have prepared a lot of things today, you will like it."

"Adler! Do you know where this place is? Aren't you afraid that people will know about it?!" You shouted at him. "I told you, this is my place. My dad is the Chief of this police station, do you think they dare to leak anything out?"

"Ad-Adler, you, you calm yourself down, just let us go, okay?" He ignored Wanda's words and told his subordinates to hold her and separate the two of you. You screamed for them to let her go but Adler was very focused on you. "Y/N Y/L/N, if you beg me, I might be nice to you." He said in a sickly sweet voice. "Stop dreaming!" You spat on him and shouted.

"Bitch!" He wound his hands and gave you a slap before grabbing you by the throat and pushing you at the wall. "I think you prefer the hard way! The more you resist the more I like it. No hurry, later you will know what heaven is!"

"Adler, you will regret this!"

"I will be a happy ghost even if I get to die underneath the peony flower, but you can think of how you can make it happy so that I might be gentle to you!" He tightened his hands around his neck before dropping you to the floor.

Your pants rode down a little due to the movement and Adler was about to seize the opportunity when you pushed him away and adjusted your clothes. "You stupid whore, stop pretending to be chaste! You just wait there like a good girl and I'll guarantee that you'll feel like you're in heaven!"

"Bastard!" He wasn't fast enough to react as someone wrapped his arm around his neck and slammed him to the floor. "Who was that?! How dare you? Do you know who my father is..." He dragged on when he saw a cane in his peripheral.

"Dad? Why are you here?" He asked. "How dare you randomly arrest people here?!"

"Dad, don't you already know about this..."

"Shut up! How dare you say that!"

"Dad?"

You flinched when you felt someone touch you but her scent surrounded you made you look up. "Don't be afraid, it's me." It's as if her voice is opening a door and rescuing you from this never ending darkness. Tears cascaded down your face when you realised you were finally going to be safe with her.

"Ms- Ms Romanoff? Why are you here? This..."

"Ha, how can I miss a show that you prepared so well for? After all, you secretly took my wife here!" Her hands didn't leave you even when he was talking to Adler. "Wi-wife? Dad, I didn't know!"

"I am really sorry, Mrs Romanoff, my son is truly ignorant, this is just a misunderstanding... Sorry for troubling you... you can deal with this however you like." His son looked up at his Dad in shock, why was he not defending him? "This is all because... this is all Sharon Carter's fault! I really don't know anything!"

"Sharon Carter, Sharon Carter! You don't know anything even though you're married? Aren't you ashamed?!"

"What's wrong with our Adler Family?! What did we do wrong that we're afraid of Natasha Romanoff?! Is it because of her vicious tactics? No matter how vicious she is, she's just a disabled guy! What can she do to us?" He reached over to grab her legs and Clint was about to intervene when Natasha told him to stop. "Dad! Look at how she's lost her mobility! She can't even walk, why should we be scared of-?!"

Before he could finish his sentence, he felt a foot on his face, kicking him to the floor. Natasha folded her leg rest and pushed it aside before standing. Adler was visibly shaking when he saw Natasha standing in front of him. "Even if I am disabled, I won't let the Adler family off!" When she spoke in a calm tone, it made her even scarier.

"Na...tasha?" You looked at her. To see her standing was not something you imagined. At least not so soon. She walked closer to you and lifted you up bridal style. "Y/N, from now on no one will dare to hurt you. Because, I promise, even if the whole world is against me, for you, I will let the whole world know that Y/N Y/L/N no longer exist, only Y/N Romanoff. And that you are my woman, my wife, and she will be happy."

Series Masterlist

@natsxwife @franfineashell @dvrkhcld @reginassweetheart @marvelogic @autorasexy

#natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natasha x you #my writing #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x female reader #black widow x reader #unwanted marriage #mcu x reader #marvel #avengers

[melodymay-k1tty]

MONKEY D. LUFFY BF HEADCANONS

What would dating Luffy be like?

A/N: I thought writing a Luffy's bf headcanon would be fun, so here comes!!🍖🏴‍☠️

I hope it's cool, it was so much fun to write!😎💕🫣

🍖 Luffy-kun! First, that you would be the only person Luffy would trust with his straw hat. Which, of course, makes you a very honorable person and automatically someone of extreme importance in his life.

🍖 Luffy-kun! Your love language would be something like Physical Touch or Words of Affirmation. He would give you hugs often, jump on your back/put you on his back, pick you up out of the blue, bite you sometimes, and of course, say anything that comes to mind, including how much he likes you.

🍖 Luffy-kun! He would play with your hair like a kid, and would probably say things like "hmm, your hair looks like ramen noodles, yummy yummy!" (if it's curly)/"hmm, your hair looks like spaghetti and the barrettes are like vegetables, yummy yummy!" (if it's straight), while smiling and looking thirstily at your locks. Which of course makes you a little scared.

🍖 Luffy-kun! If you fought with him, he would respect your decision and leave you alone. However, he would not eat until you spoke to him again. And of course, he would see it through to the end.

🍖 Luffy-kun! He would make silly bets with you, like "who eats first washes the dishes" (and of course that's backwards, but he didn't even realize it).

🍖 Luffy-kun! He would try to cook for you, and the food would be incredibly bad (he would probably mix the good foods with bits of bones, rotten fish, some crazy concoctions, and the like). Seeing your disgusted face he wouldn't be sad, but happy "Hmm, great, that leaves more for me!" and then, he would eat it all without hesitation. But he would soon see how bad it was, however, it was too late.

🍖 Luffy-kun! When you ate together, he would finish his meal in a split second. Afterwards, he would stare at you food, waiting for you to give it to him or for him to take it from you himself.

🍖 Luffy-kun! He would make handmade gifts for you. They would probably look awful and pretty poorly done, but he would do it with so much love and enthusiasm. You would love it just the same.

🍖 Luffy-kun! If someone messes with you, he doesn't think twice before going after that person and finishing them off.

A/N: I'll probably edit this later, but I'm dying sleepy and just decided to post before I went to sleep. It's still around 01:03am.

Att: I ended up leaving it to post this just today, but I had written it dawn, so it continues in the notes.

I hope you guys liked it!💗🫣

#one piece #anime #fanfic #fluffy #headcanon #monkey d. luffy #monkey d luffy x reader #monkey d luffy x you #one piece scenarios