#it enforces forcing people out of the closet

[justanotherfanaccount]

Netflix really said "queer actors should play queer characters" 😗

#noah schnapp #will byers #i dont actually believe this #it enforces forcing people out of the closet #but it was good for the joke #do it for the meme #noah schnapp came out #will byers is gay #stranger things

[baby-yongbok]

Manipulation

Han Jisung x Fem!Reader

-`♡´- Genre: Angst? Fluff? Both? Yeah... both. [Supernatural themes]

-`♡´- Summary: Jisung is all that you have and you're all that he wants.

-`♡´- Word Count: 6k

-`♡´- Warnings: Mentions of Blood (Like, a lot, though no one ever bleeds), Supernatural themes (Jisung and Reader have supernatural abilities), Violence (Not the physical type), Mentions of smoking weed (While driving/ do not do this please) and drinking (Not while driving), Speeding (Please don't so that, drive safely.), It gets a bit suggestive for a second, Interaction with law enforcement. [I think that's all.]

-`♡´- A/N: So, I'm a perfectionist and I get nervous when I can't write or post when I want to. I just started a new job and I'm applying to new colleges so ya girl is stressed out. To top it all off I got sick with the worst Hay Fever I've ever had today and I can't breathe (Love that for me). Soooo I had to reach into my vault and see what I haven't posted yet and I found this! This story is something that I wasn't sure that anyone would actually like 😭. I wanted to take a shot at writing something supernatural so here it is! I hope that you don't think that it sucks!+ the reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡. All feedback is appreciated! Thanks for reading! 💗

-`♡´- Note - Hemokinesis or Blood Manipulation is the ability to control and manipulate blood.

-`♡´- Masterlist -`♡´-

We should have never met but the fact that we did means that chaos is a naturally occurring thing in this world. Why do I say that? Let’s just say that Jisung and I are not the type of people that you want around. We’re the exact opposite. Degenerates. The evil in a good situation, and we whole heartedly don’t give a fuck about the damage we cause because the only thing that matters is the fact that we have each other. We’ll always have each other. Now, what could we possibly do that’s so bad? We manipulate, but not in the way that you’d expect.

“Hey, bubs?” Turning to face Jisung from my spot in front of my closet I feel my legs weaken beneath me as I stumble backwards a bit, using the door frame behind me to keep me up. The feeling is gone just as fast as it came and I take a second to ground myself before flashing a well deserved middle finger in Jisung’s direction.

“Fuck you with the iron manipulation.” He erupts into a fit of laughter as I abandon the task of trying to locate the bag that he lent me that I’m more than sure is buried in my closet. I was going to be nice and finally return it but after that stunt I think that I’ll keep it for a bit longer. “You think you’re so funny.” I sit on the edge of my bed, glaring at my best friend as his laughs intertwine with the music playing from my speakers. He always gets a kick out of using his abilities on me, he’s had his fun now I’ll have mine. I lift my hand towards Jisung and his laughter stops instantly. 

“Yeah?” With a grin Jisung looks around aimlessly. “Gonna take my sight away? You’re playing dirty now.” 

“Oh am I? Come get me, Ji.” Standing and backing away from my bed a bit, I keep my control over his sight as he reaches out in front of him, swatting his hand in an attempt to hit me. I mimic his earlier laughter as he struggles to navigate the newfound darkness. 

“Ya know, the good thing about my abilities is that, if I want them to, they apply to everyone in the room no matter if I can see you or not.” He clenches his fist and my body stiffens. “So now, you’re locked in place and I definitely can find you.” Standing carefully from the bed he holds his hands out to keep from banging into anything. I try to speak but the blood in my body is literally frozen under Jisung’s control, don’t ask me how I’m even still alive with one of the most important units of my life force frozen inside of me, I don’t know the answer. Nobody does. That’s why Jisung’s ability is so dangerous, it doesn’t make any sense. The only thing that I do know is that if I try to retaliate even a little I’ll be on Jesus’s doorstep. 

“Mmm, I can hear you breathing.” He chuckles a bit as he takes his final step before bumping right into me. Unclenching his fist and freeing my blood from his bind he catches me as my body gives out from the sudden blood rush. His sight restores itself as I release my bind on his vision. 

“Got ya” Looking up at him with angry eyes we both can’t help but to erupt into laughter. This is what we do, we use our powers to mess with each other and get what we want. There’s only a select few of us who can do the things we do, why would we want to waste it by doing what society wants us to? I understand that we can be troublesome from time to time like when we crash parties… or cars, but this isn’t our fault I swear.

If people didn’t think that we were monsters maybe we’d behave differently. If people didn’t think that Jisung was a criminal then maybe he’d be more willing to calm down. But no, because he is the only living person with hemokinesis in this city that we know of, he’s labeled as high risk and everyone is constantly on his back the moment he steps outside. There’s never been anyone willing to get to know him until he met me during our freshmen year of university. People aren’t too fond of me either, I guess having the ability to manipulate bodily function is scary? Seems pretty mundane to me. We were outcasts so naturally we gravitated towards each other and before we knew it we were best friends, partners in crime that promised to protect each other from everyone's nasty comments and condescending stares. That was short lived though because we both dropped out of university a month after we met. 

The sound of The Neighborhood playing blares through my room and cuts through our laughter as we start to dance a bit as I regain my composure and even out my breathing. He sways me as we dance hand in hand through my dim bedroom before pushing me back onto the mattress and plopping down next to me. 

“You know what would make this Friday night a real win?” He asks and I look over at him. “Weed and a couple of beers.” 

“Then what are we still doing here? You’re driving.” Sitting up and grabbing my sweater next to my bed I stand with Jisung as we put our shoes on and grab our stuff. We leave my bedroom and cut through the kitchen to avoid my brother and father in the living room. The worst thing about dropping out of college is having to still live with the little bit of family I have left. Rent costs an arm and a leg around here so right now my minimum wage job won’t cut it. 

“Going out.” I call to them.

We hear quick footsteps approach as I reach for the doorknob, before I can turn it completely my father appears to the left of us catching our attention. “Where are you headed?” He only wants to know so that he can listen out for any gossip later. He knows that Jisung and I will be the talk of the town if we do anything too extreme. I’ve learned that what everyone else finds to be extreme is very different from what we think. Death is extreme to us, a fire or a house crumbling to the ground, those are extreme events. To everyone else, either of us breathing is enough to get the damn president to send out the troops. 

“Not sure yet, gonna drive around a bit.” I notice my step-brother standing behind my dad glaring at Jisung from over his shoulder. “Oh, Ji didn’t you want to head by that store?” 

I take Jisung’s hand in mine and interlock our fingers. Both my father and brother’s eyes lock in on the gesture and they both seem to try and stop themselves from having a visceral reaction, they failed.  Jisung catches on quickly and joins in on my little game. “Yeah, I did, they have a huge parking lot and it’s always busy. I thought we could go and put on a show.” 

Jisung nudges me suggestively and I genuinely chuckle in response. What makes me laugh harder is my brother, San’s clenched jaw and my dads disgusted yet furious gaze locked on Jisung. I can tell that he’s praying that it’s a joke, praying that he and I aren’t really dating or fucking or anything like that. I’m sure that he would rather be stoned to death than hear me say that Jisung and I are dating. He’s so lucky that we’re not.

“Relax, I’m joking.”  Jisung says before opening the front door and placing his hand on the small of my back. “It’s always empty so it’ll be a private show.” 

I can’t help the laughter that escapes me as Jisung leads me out of the front door, swiftly closing it behind us. My dad calls after me but we just hurry over to his car like we didn’t hear him. “I’ll take good care of her.” Jisung yells back towards the house before sliding into the front seat and slamming the door closed. 

“You’re horrible.” I scoff as I buckle myself in.

“You started it.” He shrugs as he starts his horribly old pick up truck and pulls out of the driveway.

As funny as that was, I know that I’m going to hear an earful later, especially from San, he’d kill Jisung if he could and I know that for a fact. San despises anyone with abilities but he has a special hate for Jisung, he’s gone on endless rants over the years hoping that one day I’d suddenly agree that he’s right and that Jisung is a monster, that day hasn’t come and it never will. 

“You grab the beer, I’ll stock up on snacks.”  Jisung says as he shuts his car off and steps into the gas station parking lot. 

“Roger that.” I coughed a bit before ashing the tip of the blunt we were sharing. I’d be lying if I said that the weed we’ve been smoking for the past fifteen minutes wasn’t starting to get to me. I have a much lower tolerance than Jisung but you would never be able to tell since I’ve mastered the art of hiding it. Doing recreational drugs isn’t exactly welcomed at my house with my father being a part of the city government. Oh, did I forget to mention that my dad is the city attorney? How else do you think that Jisung and I are still walking free after all of the shit we get into. My dad might hate the guy but he’s saved us both more times than I can count.

We waltz into the store and go our separate ways to complete our mission. I head right over to the fridge housing our desired golden liquid and grab two cases, one of my favorite brand and one of Jisung’s. As I’m walking up to the front of the store I hear what sounds like aggravated voices going back and forth, when did that start? It was silent a second ago. As I get closer I realize that it’s the store clerk ranting at a now very aggravated Jisung. Seriously? We just left the house. 

“All the stores in the area and this kid had to pick mine. We don’t serve the likes of you here.”  Jisung hasn’t said more than two words to the guy since I’ve been standing here. He just lets him go on and on since we’re very used to this type of thing happening. They complain, take our money, complain some more and then we leave. 

“If you’d let me pay I can leave.” Jisung states matter of factly as he slaps a twenty on the counter. “ I’ll take those cases too.” 

I walk up next to him and place the cases on the counter. “I got this” I slip in front of Jisung and smile at the man behind the counter. He’s pissing me off but he doesn’t have to know that. I often try to intervene before things get too out of hand, especially when Jisung is high. He already has a fairly short temper and for some reason it’s way worse when he’s under the influence. 

“This is all, sir.” I say to the clerk as I pick up the twenty and extend my arm towards him.

“You’re with that degenerate? Aren’t you Choi’s daughter?” Closing my eyes tightly I sigh keeping my arm extended towards him. Of course he recognises me, just wonderful. One of the downsides to being the city attorney’s daughter is that almost everyone knows your face. This is why I stopped going to those Godforsaken press conferences. “You’re gonna get yourself killed hanging with him.”

“No, it’s you that’s going to get yourself killed.” Jisung protests as he lifts his hand in that insufferable man’s direction. 

“Ji, come on” The clerk behind the counter instantly starts to moan in pain so I assume that he is using his Thermovariance, in other words, he’s boiling his fucking blood. Not enough to kill him, just enough to nearly get a steam rolling. 

“Han, seriously, let's just go.” He’s a sucker for me calling him Han, I never understood why but I don’t care as long as it gets me what I want.

He sighs, dropping his hand and rolling his eyes at me. He’s pissed off and I understand that but I’m not trying to build a criminal record at this age, maybe in my late twenties but not now. “Leave the cash, let's go before I empty him.” Placing the money down on the counter I grab some of the snacks and one of the cases of beer and leave the rest for Jisung to grab.

“Have a good night” I called over to the disoriented clerk before getting back into the car. 

“I’m way too high for this shit.”  Jisung groans as he lights a new blunt before starting the car. He takes a long drag before passing it to me and driving off. We get some ways down the road in comfortable silence before he breaks the barrier.

 “Why do you still hang out with me?” I can barely hear his question over the music but he looks at me expectantly anyway. I shrug as I stare forward and focus on the passing streetlights.

“To piss off my dad obviously.” Jisung scoffs, snatching the blunt from me and bringing it to his lips.

“I always knew you were using me.” He shakes his head as he blows a thick stream of smoke through his nose in a deep exhale. “Such a bitch.”

Neither of us can contain our laughter as we fan at the cloud of smoke surrounding us. He may have asked a serious question but he knew that I wouldn’t give him a serious answer. We save the serious stuff for when we’re so stoned that we can hear colors and taste sounds, this is only the beginning. 

“If I can’t use you for sex then I might as well use you for something.” 

“And why can’t you use me for sex?” He quips back with a light chuckle. My red eyes meet his for a split second before looking down at the blunt that he’s passing me. 

“Well first of all that’s disgusting and second of all I’m not trying to have my brother actually kill you. The only reason he hasn’t is because he knows that we’re just playing around.” I lean forward to ash the blunt on the dashboard and open the window to air out the car, the smoke mixed with the obvious sexual tension in here is suffocating. 

There wasn’t an ounce of truth to me saying that fucking Jisung would be disgusting and he knows that, we’ve talked about this more than once. He thinks I’m hot which I find hard to believe since I’m not really a reflection of the girls that he likes to date. I’m thick, a lot thicker than anyone he’s ever slept with but he’s gone on several rants about just how much he loves my body so I have no reason to doubt the validity of his statement. Jisung on the other hand is exactly my type, honey skin and soft brown hair with a beautifully toned body and an impossibly tiny waist. He’s unreal and he knows it. Despite his social status there are a slew of women who are dying to piss off their families by having him dick them down in the backseat of his car on any given tuesday. They use him as revenge bait and he knows it but he doesn’t care as long as he gets to nut. 

We’ve talked about things that friends normally discuss like when we lost our virginity or how many times we’ve touched ourselves thinking about each other, it’s all water under the bridge for us… I think. The tension between us always builds a bit higher on nights like this, I mean who doesn’t get horny when they’re high right? But on a serious note I can’t fuck Jisung no matter how attracted to him I might be because that would complicate things and he’s the only uncomplicated thing in my life. My dad and step-brother haven’t been the same since we lost my mom five years ago and then a week after that my sister fell to the same fate. My only remaining blood sibling wants nothing to do with any of us and San and I have an intricate relationship to say the least. Sleeping with my best friend would be like setting myself up for failure. 

“First of all, that’s rude and second of all your brother loves me.” The teasing tone in his voice fades into a chuckle that prompts an eye roll from me. 

“Do you want to kill everyone that you love?” He shrugs and hums lightly before glancing over at me with his eyebrows raised and his lips pulled into a thin line. “Fuck you, Ji.”

He laughs, eyes focused on the nearly empty street in front of him as we stop at a light. “I hope you know that I'd kill him before he kills me.” Jisung glances over at me, his features are cold and serious. I stare back at him, mirroring his expression the best I can before cracking a small smile. “I know where we can hide the body.”

“Fucking maniac.” He scoffs with a smile and I laugh with him. He turns onto the highway and I turn the radio up to a deafening volume. 

“Speed up, what’re ya scared?” I reach up and open the sunroof and Jisung watches me as he bops his head to the music. He lets down all of the windows as I stand on my seat and stick my upper half out of the sunroof just as he speeds up. He’s probably going ten over the limit right now but I don’t see any cops around and there are barely any cars on the road. He starts racing imaginary cars, weaving between lanes and effectively throwing me side to side as I try to enjoy the night breeze. This has been my thing since I was a kid, my mom would let me stand in the car as my dad sped down the highway, she’d let me climb onto the middle console and stick my arms up out of the sunroof while she held me in place. It was dangerous but it was so much fun, so freeing.

The vibration of the bass shook the car as it glided down the highway. My skirt blew in the wind rushing through the window as Jisung sped up bit by bit. Suddenly, I feel warmth on my thigh and all of my concentration goes to that spot. Jisung’s fingers trail up my leg and caress the skin peaking out in the diamonds of my fishnet stockings. Though he and I agree that we could never fuck each other the bond that we foster isn’t exactly conventional. We like to touch each other, he’ll rub my thigh or hold me from behind casually and I reciprocate his actions on a regular basis. This is our normal, the part that’s new to me is the slow trail that his hand is making towards my heat. I can hear him singing the song on the radio as he speeds up just a bit more, probably hitting 85 in the 60 by now. His hand continues up my thigh, moving to the side to trace the curve of my hip. 

“Fuck.” I hear him exasperate as I process the sound of police sirens behind us. I crawl back down into my seat and put my seatbelt on. We turn down the music completely and pull over to the shoulder of the highway. I reach into the glove compartment and hand Jisung his registration and we both take our licenses and ability identification cards and place them on the dashboard along with our open hands. When you get pulled over with an abilities like ours, some officers like to try and get a reaction out of you. The last time we got pulled over I was the only thing stopping Jisung from literally killing the officer that decided to get handsy with him.

The officer approaches the window like a snail crossing the street and we both sigh. We exchange knowing looks and I start silently praying to myself, please don’t let this man be an asshole. Once he reaches the window he looks us both over before silently reaching into the car to grab Jisung’s identification and registration “How are you doing tonight, kids.” He checks the registration then his License and lastly his ability card. Jisung and I opt to stay quiet and offer no more than a meek nod in his direction.

“What are you two doing out tonight?” The officer asks as he shines his flashlight in Jisung’s face. His eyes trail up and down Ji’s frame, sizing him up. 

“We’re going on a date.” Jisung shrugs as he makes eye contact with the officer. 

“A date, huh? Where to?”

“Well, sir, I’m trying to surprise my lovely girlfriend here so if it’s alright with you, I'll keep that to myself.” He smiles up at the officer teasingly. The less he knows the better.

“I see.”

“May I ask why we were stopped? Are we getting a ticket?” 

“You were going twenty over the speed limit, I’ll let you love birds off with a warning this time.” The officer pauses before looking over at me. “ I’ll warn you especially ma’am, be careful with this kid he’s dangerous.”

Satisfied with himself, the officer smiles down at the irritated man in the driver's seat. “You two be careful alright? There was some commotion over at the gas station some ways from here. You two wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would ya?” the officer drops all of the collected information into Ji’s lap as he looks between us. 

“Not at all, if we hear anything we’ll be sure to call the station.” I didn’t plan on lying to a cop tonight but I guess this is fine. He looks between us clearly trying to spook us but we’re unfazed, it’s gonna take a lot more than staring behind some black out shades to intimidate us.

“Alright, well then I’ll let you kids go, have a good night.” He starts to walk away but doubles back suddenly, bending down to the window. “And try to sober up a bit before heading home.”

He stalks away again, quicker than when he came and Jisung and I do our best not to laugh. “That was fucking close, is it that obvious that we’re stoned?”

I can’t help the laugh that erupts from my throat as I stuff my ID back into my wallet. Jisung stares at me in confusion as he mimics my actions.

“Dude, we have two cases of beer in the backseat and we literally hot boxed your car a couple of minutes ago. We smell like a dispensary and your eyes are glowing red.” He hurriedly looks into the rearview mirror and examines his appearance.

“ Fuck, you’re right.” He fixes the mirror and sighs, we sit in silence for a bit before he speaks up. “Can you pass me the eyedrops out of the glove compartment?”

“Yeah, sure.” I start searching through the glove compartment but I stop when a waft of smoke floats in my direction. I side eye Jisung as he takes a small drag of the blunt and blows it out of the window.

“Want a hit?” He offers me the blunt with raised brows and I scoff before continuing my search. 

“You’re an idiot.”

“Which one is your favorite?” I ask Jisung as I raise my beer bottle to my lips. After some more aimless driving we ended up going to our favorite spot in some woods just outside of town. It’s the perfect spot for us to be left alone with our antics. We turn the car radio up and rotate between laying in the pick up bed of his car and sitting on a huge rock that we’ve claimed as our own. Right now the blankets spread out in the back of his pick up are way too cozy and inviting to pass up on since it’s gotten a bit chilly out.

“Which what?”

“Which part of your ability?” He looks over at me with a slight blush creeping up his neck and onto his cheeks. He takes a swig of his beer and swiftly follows with a drag of our third shared blunt. I suggested that we stop a long time ago but Jisung insisted on pushing the limits tonight. I’m pretty fucked up from the cross fade of weed and alcohol but I’ll never admit that and I wont have to because the rosy blush on my caramel skin is a dead giveaway.

“Why do you want to know?” A shy laugh slips from his lips and I shrug, it’s just a question why is he getting shy?

“Curious, If you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine.”

“I like that I can control blood flow, it comes in handy.” With furrowed brows I take a swig of my drink while racking my brain trying to figure out how such a thing could be useful. 

“How so?” 

“Ahh.. that, my dear, is something I’d have to show you and I don’t think you want me to show you what I use that for.” He explains turning to me slightly. I mimic his movements turning my body to him and giving him my full attention. 

“Show me.”

“Seriously, I don’t think - “

“What’re ya scared? I thought the Amazing- Bloodbending- Han Jisung wasn’t scared of anything?” My teasing seemed to get to him just a bit, so naturally I continued. “The Jisung that I’m always hearing about is some confident, daring and dangerous man who isn't scared of anything.”

“Fuck it.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him so that he can put his arm around me. He moves to put his beer down and free his other hand while I watch him in confusion. 

“What are you-” He rolls his eyes, turning back to face me.

“You begged for it and now you want to back out? What’re ya scared?” He mocks my previous question and now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.

“Shut up, I’m just confused.” 

“Trust me, bubs.” He looks me over slowly, too slowly. What's going on here? “Have I ever hurt you before? Okay, wait, don't answer that. Have I ever hurt you on purpose?” With a slight laugh I shake my head. 

“Then relax and let me know if you get uncomfortable.” Without another word from either of us and some rock indie rock song blasting on the radio Jisung takes a deep breath and rubs his fingers together. He then lightly touches my knee and guides my legs apart. I furrow my brows again before he places the palm of his hand over my pelvic bone and I start to feel a euphoric rush in my stomach and legs. The feeling works its way up and down to fill every inch of my body. My core starts to pulse and drip as Jisung watches me closely with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“W- what are you -” 

“I increased blood flow to your… you know. It’s like an instant turn on.” The air around me feels thick and I find myself fighting the urge to whine at the building pressure, am I about to… no way, I can’t cum from this. Impossible. “This is my favorite part of my ability.” A shy smile crosses his blushed lips and I can’t help but to stare at them. I always stare but never when he can catch me, I always wonder how they’d feel against my lips and skin. I’ve always wanted to taste them. Woah, what the fuck? No, I can’t think things like that, not about him.

“Okay, cool you c-can stop now.” His eyes stare down at me with a heated gaze, boring holes into my skin. His eyes switch focus between my eyes and my lips as he reluctantly moves his hand. I sigh in relief as I feel my body start to cool down but it’s not enough, I still feel the blistering heat of need crawling under my skin. Fuck, why did he have to show me that? It’s bad enough that we’re out here ten minutes to midnight while I’m in a skimpy skirt and he’s in a tight black tank top. He let me borrow his jacket when the wind picked up and now I want nothing more than to give it back to maybe extinguish these hot and disgusting thoughts running through my head.

“Remember our deal about not fucking?” I stare up at him, wide eyed and feeling vulnerable. “What does that apply to?” 

“What do you… what do you mean?” Suddenly it feels like he never even moved his hand. My body feels hot all over again and I can feel myself clench around nothing desperately.

“I mean I just... Fuck.” He pauses as he takes a second to help me sit up and he picks up his drink and takes a long swig. That was definitely a courage shot, what the hell is he about to say? “I mean.. you have no idea how much I think about just… corrupting you. Manipulating your body, I’ve wanted to do that trick to you since I discovered it.” 

A small chuckle escapes him as he looks over at me trying to gauge my reaction.

“Ji, you know why we agreed to that. Sex leads to complicated relationships or dating or whatever and I can’t do that with you. I can’t risk losing you too.” 

“You wouldn’t.” Jisung's response is nearly a whisper, a desperate plea that came out weaker than he expected. “If we’re together then you’ve got me for life, bubs. You’re my best friend, nothing could ever change that. You’re the only person who doesn’t see me as a monster.”

Now it’s my turn to take a courage shot. I down the rest of my drink, avoiding eye contact like it could kill me. “I get it, you wanna fuck me, you don’t have to butter me up to get in my pants.”

“Hey hey hey, this is about way more than that. I don’t just want to fuck you, you’re so much more than a stupid notch in my belt. I want to be with you. I’ve wanted that for so long and you’ve wanted it too. I know you do. I see the way you look at me all the time, when I stay over at your place and we’re sleeping together and when I’m driving and you think that I don’t notice. You stare at me just like I stare at you, you have that same longing in your eyes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie to me.” He’s serious now, his tone is firm and it adds an extra beat to my already hammering heart. How does he know all of that? How long has it been since he’s noticed?

“Jisung, I don't have feelings for you. You’re hot, that's it.” I’m lying. I’m lying through my fucking teeth and he knows it. I’m a shit liar when I’m faded.

“Then let me kiss you.” He finishes his drink and puts his bottle to the side all while looking straight at me. “If I’m nothing more than your hot best friend, let me kiss you. If you pull away then you’re telling the truth but if you don’t then you feel the same way that I do.”

“I’m not doing that.” My eyes fall to his converse and I take a shaky inhale. There’s no way that this is happening, what is he thinking?

“You are.” He sounds like he’s pleading again, his words are careful but he means them, oh gosh. He leans forward, placing the bend of his pointer finger under my chin and lifting my head until my gaze meets his. “I’m sick of us pretending” He whispers, his voice full of emotion. I can’t look away, my heart is pounding in my chest and I take a deep breath. His other hand reaches for mine, taking it and pressing chaste kisses to my knuckles. His eyes squeeze shut with each kiss and I can’t help but to take in the sight of him, his features softened by emotion, his emotions for me. I let out a shaky breath and whisper back. 

"Han, we shouldn’t."

“Why not?” His eyes are still closed and he squeezes my hand as his lips move against the back of it. “I know you better than anyone on this earth. I love you more than anyone in this universe, you love me too, I know you do. What are you afraid of?”

“I told you, I can’t lose you.” My voice sounds more strained than I anticipated but I ignore it, it’s a reflection of how I feel. A verbal representation of the hurricane in my chest.

“If you’re so afraid to lose me then why won’t you be mine? Why won’t you let me have you?”

“Ji, stop it.” He drops the hand that he was kissing and moves his other hand to completely cup my cheek. We’re so close that his exhales are my inhales and I swear I can hear his heart pounding from here or maybe that’s mine.

“Let me kiss you.”

“Jisung” His name is merely a whisper as I exhale.

“Let me.” He whispers back and the sweet sound of his voice rings in my ears.

“Han.” I inhale the scent of him but it’s not the same, it's desperate, but it’s sweet. Much sweeter than usual.

“I’m going to kiss you.” He closes the gap between us and I hold my breath. His lips touch mine and the heat that I was feeling earlier multiplies with a spark of burning desire. He’s kissing me. My best friend is kissing me and only one word comes to mind. Perfect, this moment is perfect, he is perfect and I desperately don’t want him to be. His lips move against mine slowly, passionately, and I almost feel like I’m floating. I thought that I’d feel panic. I thought that I’d be scared but I’m not, he was right. Fuck it.

I sigh into the kiss as I melt into his touch, his fingers caress my cheek softly as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. His other hand rests on my hip, squeezing lightly and guiding me forward to straddle his lap. I climb onto him as I savor his taste. There's hints of beer and the blunt we shared but there’s a sweetness to it, it’s something that I can only describe as being him. It’s Jisung that I taste and he’s flooding my senses. 

“I knew it.” He whispers against my lips before pressing me back into a hungry kiss. Our lips abuse each other relentlessly as they move in tandem. I can’t seem to control the small whines that escape me but I don’t mind because each one of my whines is matched with a desperate groan from Jisung. 

“Be mine.” He whispers into my mouth and I sigh, content at the sound of it. He wants me, he wants to be with me… but what if I lose him?

“Ji.” I whisper back, trying my best to pull away but he holds me there. His hand on my cheek kept my lips on his. “Jisung” I lightly push at his chest, I can’t do this. We can’t do this. What if everything goes wrong? What if I lose him too? “Han.”

He stops, pulling away with heavy breath and dilated pupils. His blushed lips are more red than usual and he dips his tongue out to lick them quickly as he stares up at me. 

“I can’t…” There’s a hoarse scratch to my voice as I stare back at him. “I can’t lose… we can’t do this.”

“We just did.”

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz han jisung #han jisung angst #han jisung x reader #han jisung #han jisung x y/n #skz han #skz jisung #stray kids han #stray kids jisung #jisung x reader #stray kids masterlist #skz angst #stray kids angst #skz scenarios #han x reader #han jisung stray kids #han jisung scenarios #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #tw drinking #tw weed

[0w0tsuki]

Me anytime some dipshit tries to say egg humor is purposeful misgendering and enforcing the gender binary

"But if you crack the shell that will kill the chick!"

Yeah that literally not how that works in farming. If a chick can't gather the strength to break out you need to drill a hole in the give it the life savings air it needs to gather the strength to break free. And that's how trans people approach any actual potential eggs.

Never did the trans guy who poked my hole actually directly tell me that I'm trans he just talked about his experience and openly talked about how he wanted his transition to an example that others can look to and discover themselves through.

The only ones with no tact about it, the ones who go about trying "crack" eggs, are cis liberals trying out their transdar looking for a trans woman to have as their token friend. They were my liberal church who had run out a trans man trying to tokenize him who made me feel like I couldn't have a publicly questioning phase and feel like I had to explore myself in the closet. They were my cis gay coworker back when I was out in my personal life but not at work questioning me about my gender forcing me to either lie or come out.

The new recruit trans woman coworker who I felt comfortable enough with telling her I was trans the first day we worked together was completely fine deadnaming me and misgendering me until I could get into an area of work that wasn't service for me to feel safe enough to come out.

And every person I see whinging on about "invasion of boundaries" that transfems are supposedly committing with egg humor what they are always describing cis lib gay behavior. And the fact that they are always conflating the two shows that what they're complaining about has absolutely no fucking basis in the reality of the trans experience.

#transmisoginy #egg discourse #Youtube

[bengiyo]

Be My Favorite: The Evils of Queer Surveillance

I’ve had a chance to calm down a bit, but I need to get this off my soul immediately. Kawi’s mom is engaged in a set of extremely vile and evil acts that we unfortunately have a long history with. In revealing Pisaeng’s relationship with his mother today, this show forces us to reconsider what we know of Pisaeng’s history, and forces us to question the presumptions of safety in our own communities.

Before we get into this, I will be describing her actions as evil. I do not want to contribute to a limited view of the character as inherently evil. I believe this woman is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her son. It’s important that we not fall into fundamentalist reads based in predeterministic assumptions about people’s behaviors. She is engaged in acts that are reprehensible. She likely believes she’s doing them for good reasons, and may have accepted the balance of harm and good on her own.

Normally I would take screenshots and borrow gifs to break up a post like this to make it more digestible, but I’m too upset to take all of that time. I’ll leave the writing about Pisaeng’s personal journey and the romance writing to others this week.

She Manipulated Her Son into the Closet

Pisaeng’s mother uses her positive positioning with her queer employees and lip service to queer issues to appear as an ally. She used that goodwill to convince her son that it would be best for his own reputation to be quiet about his sexuality and to keep her informed about any moves he made in that regard. Pisaeng has already seen through this, but it wasn’t until Kawi confronted him with the reality that he was hiding himself that he felt the need to push himself out more.

This is now the third time Gawin has played a character like this. All of Gawin’s genre characters know who they are and are choosing not to be out because of the inconvenience that others’ perceptions of them bring. It is absolutely heartbreaking to me that Pisaeng was not discovering his queerness in his attraction to Kawi. He was rejecting his closeted programming because of his friendship with Kawi.

It makes me so sad that Pisaeng seems tired and uncomfortable around his mother. He knows the way she operates. She colors right inside of the lines with every action she takes. He gives her a knowing look as she asks seemingly-innocent questions of Kawi. She gives a knowing look when he redirects Kawi into finishing his breakfast. She plays offended when she insinuates that he violated their agreement of being out without informing her.

I hate everything about this, and it only gets worse because she’s weaponized his own community against him.

She is Using Queer People to Spy on Her Son

Some of you may not know about The Lavender Scare or have a strong grasp on the history of law enforcement using members of a community to spy on their own people, but it’s literally how they planned the operation to assassinate Fred Hampton and other leaders. Gay communities were vulnerable to infiltration because when cops threatened enforcement of sodomy laws on white men, they turned on their own communities to avoid losing access to the privileges of whiteness. I say this plainly to show that these tactics are easily transferrable to any marginalized group when its members are isolated.

Pisaeng’s mother reminds Pisaeng that his private life does not belong to him, and that she has already turned his own community against him. She commands extraordinary wealth, which she has leveraged on her queer employees to report when her son is spotted in queer places. She seemed surprised that she was not aware of Kawi, and implies by the comment on his “unique name” that she will absolutely know who he is shortly. Pisaeng feels the threat of all of this, and steers Kawi out of there, but it’s made abundantly clear that he is not safe in queer spaces. Worse, his presence in queer spaces brings the surveillance of the ruling class down upon them immediately. In so many ways she’s made him a threat to his own community.

What’s especially sad about this is that his mother becomes an immediate wedge between Max and Pisaeng. She signals in public in ways that engender support of the queer community. Pisaeng has clearly grown to like Max, and seems to want to build a friendship with him. However, even a queer as apparently-put-together as Max can be fooled by his mom. Pisaeng doesn’t seem mad or disappointed about this; he seems resigned.

Where the Hell Do We Go from Here?

I have no idea. GMMTV went here a little bit with Not Me, and in a different direction with The Eclipse, but I wasn’t expecting them to come for queer-friendly-signaling members of the wealth class. I think they’re walking a careful line by highlighting her political ambitions but not making her a politician already. The insidiousness of the control scheme his mom has deployed against him is legitimately horrifying to me, because she crushed the spirit of her queer son right as he blossomed. I also lived in the closet, but I crushed my own spirit for them.

I know this is a BL, so we’re going to be caught up in the romance and whether or now we like Krist and Gawin together, but please don’t forget about the queerness underpinning these kinds of stories. It is abjectly evil to weaponize members of a community against each other. What is being done to Kawi and the people around him is evil. This cannot stand. She must be stopped.

#Ben writes #be my favorite #be my favorite meta #thai bl #bl series #lgbt tv #lgbtq

[twig-tea]

What's Going On with Seng and Freen

I don't like to follow too much of the fandom drama, but I had to mention what's going on re: Seng and Freen, two QL industry artists.

Seng is a BL actor who has been in Secret Crush on You, Y Destiny, and War of Y, all partnered with Billy Patchanon. Seng was originally with Idolfactory but left on January 2023 when his contract expired.

Freen is a GL actor who has been in Secret Crush on You and GAP the Series both partnered with Becky.

The FreenBecky ship is particularly strong and this ship has been really active promoting and doing fanmeets since GAP aired.

Last week Idolfactory posted a notice that the privacy of one of their artists, Freen, had been violated and that they were taking legal action.

A video was posted a few days ago (no I'm not going to link it) taken through a window from a distance, showing Seng and Freen kissing. Since then, both Freen and Seng have come forward to say that yes, it is them in the video, that someone followed and recorded them without their permission, and they apologize to their fans.

I...just cannot handle the way people are talking about this on Twitter [still calling it that]. Thank goodness for this place, honestly.

Listen, feel however you want to feel about your ship being real, but don't shame a victim of stalking, harassment, and attempted extortion for having a relationship that isn't the one you hoped they had in their real, private lives.

No matter how much money someone makes from performing a relationship with someone else in a ship, they don't owe you their personhood. They are still allowed to be who they are and love who they love on their downtime.

Gatekeeping who can and cannot act in queer media does nothing but force people out of the closet (potentially threatening their life, depending on their circumstances) and take away peoples' fundamental right to decide who they share parts of themselves to and when. [Note if someone is in a position of power enforcing homophobic legislation or culture and they are outed that is different because it's about the hypocrisy of their politics and the prevention of further damage to other queer people]

Insisting that people who are acting as part of their job have been lying to you by not being the people they are pretending to be for money does nothing but explain that you don't understand the meaning of the words acting or job. If you don't like that shipping culture feels real when it isn't, then don't pay attention to it.

Leaving here the note from one of the authors of War of Y (which if you haven't seen it includes a plot in which another shipped Idolfactory couple, Tohru and First, play characters who are in a ship but one sleeps with a costar which potentially ruins both of their careers when it gets leaked to the press... it's all a bit wildly accurate tbh)

[I know this rant is not for the people here who are going to see it but I had to yell it somewhere, sorry tumblr buds]

Editing to add: OMG I can't believe I forgot that I would have to say this, but also bisexuality and pansexuality exist, just because someone kisses someone of a different gender does not mean they also never have and never will enjoy kissing someone of the same gender, and either way it is literally none of your business and you cannot queerbait people in real life. That is Not A Thing. Please stop saying it.

If you want the industry to be better for out queer actors, contribute to a safer environment for queer actors to be out by supporting out queer actors, so that more actors can feel safe and have stable careers while out.

#freen sarocha #seng wichai #fandom meta #typed so i can stop thinking it #just leave people alone i beg you #fandom drama

[kitkatopinions]

Regarding the nitpick about the lack of religion in RWBY. We know the worldbuilding leaves much to be desired. So I'm betting religion isn't present simply because the writers themselves are non religious and never bothered to address the subject. Which is stupid because George RR Martin created several religions to flesh out the world in Game of Thrones and he's a lapsed Catholic. Just goes to show how little the writers care about worldbuilding. The existence of the Brother Gods and the Great Tree invalidate pretty much all the faiths in Remnant yet nobody seems to care. That would be like IRL we find indisputable proof that one religion on Earth is the undeniable truth but everyone continues their lives exactly the same as if this mind blowing revelation doesn't affect them.

Yep!

it's easy enough to say "oh well religion does exist it's just that none of the mains follow a religion so it doesn't matter" but it is so bland and flat and disappointing! Like I'm not gonna pretend that I would find building multiple religions to be a particularly easy thing to do and I especially would find it hard to write characters undergoing a crisis of faith when they discover what's real... But world building is also just so much fun and it's so interesting so like? Why just hand wave it away?

There would be Salem worshippers and Salem would love that and use it and probably enforce worship among her followers. And there would be people who worshipped a vaguely Oz-ish figure and Oz would hate that. People would worship Oz and Salem together not knowing of their history (and again wouldn't have to call them by their real names or have a real understanding of them to do it.) People would have religions that sprung up on their own centered around the Grimm, people would have religions about how the world ended and when it might end again, some people Oz had trusted and told the whole truth to thousands of years ago could've prompted more worship of the brother gods, people would have religions that include the formation of the world as they know it - heck, the world of RWBY the very planet they're on is called REMNANT and there isn't some common religion about what it's a remnant of? The moon is busted up, people are always gonna be people, you think there wouldn't be some religious explanation people had for that? People have in the past just fucking gone to a completely different dimension where everything is nonsense and sentient teapots and great trees and getting transported to bridges that force you to come out of the closet - there's no way I'm believing that in thousands of years the only people it's ever happened to are Team RWBY+J and Neo through a set of very specific circumstances we know and also randomly two kids through Narnia means presumably because we don't get any other explanation - and the only thing that's ever come from that is a children's book. Kings existed, the main world powers are still called 'kingdoms' and I'm meant to believe that a 'divine right to rule' wasn't a part of that? Or more like it doesn't matter what I believe was and wasn't a part of royalty because none of it impacts or affects our main characters AT ALL.

It's just so mind boggling to me that this would be the case. It'd be like if Fire Emblem Three Houses actually had zero religious aspects, that's what it feels like. If it was just a game where people went to a combat school led by a thousands of years old person in a secret war with Those Who Slither In The Dark and people had Crests and Sothis was in Byleth's head talking to them and Arval was in Shez's head talking to them and they had the heroes relics weapons and the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and there were castles and churches and there were what looked like ruins of ancient castles or temples just like lying out in the woods, but like no single character that exists is even sort of religious and how different things might be connected to religions is never brought up and the characters never talked about any religion even existing past acknowleding that not a lot of people believed in any religion anymore. That's how weird it feels with RWBY. Like, the elements of 'this world definitely has religions and beliefs' are all freaking present in RWBY, there's no way to logically believe that religions just aren't present and have no effect on anything or any character, but then there's nothing there. It's so weird and I just do not understand how the RWBY writers could engage so little with the world and the story they made that such a crucial element of world building especially for the story they wanted to tell could just get so wholly passed over.

#rwde

[transwolvie]

Like idk, continuing from last reblog, a ton of the discourse that's like "well asexual people can still have sex!!!" seems like it's constantly trying to force this idea that if someone is ace they can still be in a "normal" relationship where they regularly have sex with their partners but like..... why do you want to enforce that status quo for asexuals? If they're asexual why should their relationships involve sex? Why SO much focus on asexual ppl who, don't worry, DEFINITELY still have sex..... especially when the identity label exists to discuss the ways in which someone is punished or alienated for not feeling sexual attraction.... shouldn't we be going the most to bat for asexual ppl who never have sex, who are told they're broken, who are told they can't be in a fulfilling relationship because they simply do not desire or want to have sex.

I honestly feel like a lot of the discourse SURROUNDING asexuality is more harmful to lgbt+ ppl and even specifically ace ppl themselves, i.e. the split attraction model (used commonly by ppl to closet themselves or avoid annoying romantic/sexual aspects of being queer) and this insistence that asexual ppl can have sex anyway (causing ppl who are ace to still feel guilt while ace if they aren't one of the Special Ones™️ that still puts out) cuz ppl don't seem to understand what the point of having an identity to discuss oppression is

#tomi talks

[camaro-and-smokes]

The Family Values Program

The first chapter of a dystopian au we've been writing together with @aggressiveviking is finally online!

Warnings: None. Tags: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Arranged Marriage, Developing Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Developing Friendships, Denial of Feelings, Internalized Homophobia, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Domestic Fluff, Forced Cohabitation, Mutual Pining Misunderstanding, Sexual Tension, Unrequited Crush, or so they both think, Closeted Gay Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Has a Bisexual Awakening, Other tags to be added

Summary: When society started to decline, morals deteriorate and disease wiped almost one fourth of the population in the United States, The Family Values Program (TFV) was launched—the last beacon of hope for the betterment of the American people.

Steve had thought he wouldn't need to join TFV thanks to his dad's riches, whereas Billy had done all he could to ensure he would be one of the few accepted to it, for his father's sake—hoping desperately to turn twenty-five before being matched and thus age out of the program.

So, when they got the message from the Matchmaking Service of a successful match, neither of them knew what to expect—and how badly wrong it had gone.

To Steve, finding out that he was matched with a man by mistake was just one problem. The more pressing one was his upcoming twenty-fifth birthday a week from now, effectively aging him out of the program. If their match was revoked, Steve would be cast out of the TFV zone, with a promise from his father for no financial support. Steve couldn't let that happen.

Read in full on AO3 >> (snippet under the cut)

:::::::::::

Billy Hargrove had one simple goal in his life - to age out of the Matchmaking Service. He only had one more year to go before he could be officially free and there was nothing his father could do about it, not even blame him because it wouldn’t be Billy’s fault. It was just dumb luck.

Being part of the TFV program had been the singular goal and regret that his father held. The Family Value program - a government-enforced and regulated family life. A man and a woman. A family. Idyllic, the way they showed it in movies, the way it was supposed to be before society had started to crumble. At least that's how they said it was. 

It happened more than 30 years ago - the decline of culture and the end of moral values. The concept of marriage had lost its meaning, and it led to broken families, broken people, and broken values. It had been the catalyst for more than just personal tragedies. Billy’s father had been a victim of it as Neil Hargrove wouldn’t forget to remind everyone. An upstanding man, who wanted nothing more than to lead a good upstanding life, and take care of his wife and kids. He had been betrayed by his wife, who broke their family like it meant nothing.

Billy knew it was a load of bullshit, the bruises on his ribs proved it even now. His father was far from the person he pretended to be, who he imagined himself to be. It was true that his mother was a bitch for leaving, but it wasn’t because she left Neil, it was because she left Billy with Neil. How hard would it have been to just take him with her when she packed her bags and ran out? How much more would it have cost her? Billy doubted that she had even thought about that - she had only thought about herself. Because that’s what people were conditioned to do in those times.

Crime rates had been steadily increasing, so much so that law enforcement couldn’t keep up. With the increase in crime, death followed shortly. Diseases became rampant, a modern plague had wiped nearly one-fourth of the population of the United States. It was said that it was a biological weapon, meant to be sold - a simple exchange of death for money - but it spread without control, without a way to stop it. 

At the peak of the horrors and tragedies, The Family Value program was launched - the last beacon of hope for the betterment of the American people. All efforts and resources were poured into making that campaign a success. Whole cities and towns were confiscated, and all citizens evacuated elsewhere as the program was established, as the walls were built, as the TFV centers were built of solid concrete in the center of it all, to last for centuries ahead as the beacon of light to the people, as the first step to order and prosperity. 

The Matchmaking Service was the tool, the weapon that the government built to fight against the decay of society. The concept of the program was simple - to preserve and nurture the value of a healthy family, and the Matchmaking Service was what made it possible. Every person was encouraged to sign into the program with the promise of a good easy life - a home provided by the government, steady jobs - but not many were able to pass the heavy vetting process. Only the people who could prove they held family values close to their heart were qualified to be accepted into the program - the people who had a passion for living a good, honest life, who stayed in school, followed the law, and most important of all, had never had a marriage that had been broken.

Neil Hargrove did not qualify. And neither did his new wife Susan Mayfield. She had a broken marriage of her own - a messy divorce. Their kids however still had a chance, and while Susan simply wished a better life for her daughter Max, Billy’s father had steadily developed an obsession fueled by anger and bitterness. He was simultaneously doing his best to push Billy into being the perfect candidate for the TFV program, while at the same time, he was furious that he never had been given that chance himself. He didn’t forget to remind Billy of it.

Billy wanted nothing more to be done with all of it. 25. That was the age of the cutoff from the program. All legal adults could apply for the Matchmaking Service as soon as they turned 18. Once they had been approved into the program they only needed to wait to be matched at random with the person of the opposite gender who was going to be their life partner. No backing out, no second attempts - it was very simple, fail to do so and you were out of the program, permanently. But while the process wasn’t that complicated, the random matching of people had one little flaw. Some people ended up aging out of the system before they were given a match.

Neil Hargrove had made Billy sign up as soon as he could with no regard for what Billy wanted to do with his life. Not that Billy ever shared that with his father. He also didn’t share the fact that he harbored no attraction to the opposite sex… Something that Billy had no way of exploring living under his father’s roof and which he would never get to explore if he got matched with a partner in TFV program.

At the very start, Billy had been living in dread, every day waiting for that horrible message that marked the culmination of his father’s efforts and the end of Billy’s freedom for good. But then… the years were passing by and no message came through. A calm washed over him as the time grew near. He had been in the system for almost 7 years and there had been no match. For the first time in his life, Billy dared to dream. Perhaps life wasn’t as unfair as he had thought it was. Perhaps he would finally be given the freedom he deserved after almost 25 years of hiding, of pain, of fear… Maybe things were going to work out—

And as if in a cruel twist of fate the message came right when he had stopped expecting it.

Billy’s stomach dropped as he read the words written bold and bright on the screen of his com device while his hand shook.

Congratulations, it’s a MATCH!

He felt like he was going to throw up, his heart sinking into his stomach. Billy had hoped never to see the official message from the Matchmaking Service… but here it was. Mocking him, like a bad punchline to a joke, like everything else in Billy’s life.

He tried to take a deep breath but he only managed to choke as he pressed the button to read the rest of the message. The content of it was like a prison sentence. Not only had he been matched, but he was being relocated — Billy had known that could happen but he had been sure it could never happen to him. The location marked on the top read a town named Hawkins… in fucking Hickville Indiana . 

Billy wanted to cry.

+

“Sign up to the program, Steve, or live outside your very privileged comfort zone for a very painful ten years. I am tired of trying to help you.”

Yeah. Those were Steve's father's last words before he had given Steve his ultimatum: time until Steve's twenty-fifth birthday to find a place of his own to live in and his trust fund locked for an extra ten years, only to be released to Steve's control when he turned thirty-five. He'd be stuck with the low life of society for the next ten years, trying to get along on a minimum wage from some shitty job.

Unless he got with the piece-of-shit program his parents held in such high regard.

If he did as his father told him to and signed up for The Family Value program, allowing the Matchmaking Service to choose him a wife by his twenty-fifth birthday, the trust fund would be released in his control on his twenty-sixth birthday. Which would be more tolerable to live with, considering his spending habits. And okay, other habits too...

He didn't shy away from living a full bachelor's life. Women lining up in front of him, allowing him to pick the cherries from on top. Since he'd been trusting in having all the money he'd ever need at twenty-five, he hadn't really thought on commitment . He would've bought a nice condo somewhere, lived on his own fund, and then chosen a life partner at his own pace. As late as possible, preferably.

Steve was a few months shy of twenty-five, the cut-off age for the program. He was sure that given some more time, he wouldn't have had any issues finding a match for himself. He could've just picked the prettiest one in sight. But the only one he'd really liked had been Nancy. She would've been nice to have a family with. He'd actually considered having kids with her. They would've had a nice life... Yeah. Until she broke up with him and swore never to come back.

And in all honestly he really didn't want to go with some one-night stand.

So, he was bitter. “You need to grow up, Steve. I am doing this for your own good.” Yeah, blah blah, as if. It wasn't like the money in the fund was his dad's. It was all basically interest on interest on the 5000 dollars he'd invested in the fund when Steve was born. Steve could've paid that back to him on the first day he would've controlled the fund.

But now he really didn't have any choice. Maybe he could live with a woman who he didn't get along for one year. Hopefully. And at least he'd have some control over the location and the style of the house, amenities, and so on. He would go with the largest available, his father could pull some strings to ensure that. He wouldn't have to move out of his home town and he could stay close to all his already matched friends and so on. If he had to tolerate a stranger, he might as well do it in style. And he'd have someone to cook and keep the house clean for him and decent pay to get along for a year. Maybe they could agree with the missus that when he had the fund, they could live separate lives while still married and she'd be as free to do whatever she wanted and see whoever she wanted and he'd cover her expenses from the trust fund.

Steve shook his head as he lay down on his bed and stared at the popcorn ceiling of his room. “Fuck the values,” he grumbled to himself the same night he signed up and hoped that the service would work quickly.

And it did, just a few weeks before his birthday.

Congratulations, it’s a MATCH!

Steve let out a sigh as he read the full message on his com device. Yes, his dad had come through with his promise to help with the living arrangements. A house with three bedrooms, four baths, and a swimming pool. It was a tolerable price for one year of... something. Not utter misery, hopefully.

Steve moved his most important stuff to the house the following day. The rest could be hauled over later. Not that he really had that much though, just a wardrobe full of tailor-made suits and shirts for his new job, ironically, at the management of the Matchmaking Service, and some other things for daily life.

He strolled around the already decorated and furnished house, nodding agreeably at the chosen materials, plush couches, and the large dinner table with a glass chandelier above it. On the second floor, he inspected the room that had been transformed into his home office, the junior bedroom, and finally the master bedroom. He took in the view that spread under the hill the house was on from the floor-to-ceiling windows. Closer were other houses like his and further, a busy city center and the concrete fences that kept the area separated from the second-class society somewhere in the distance. 

Yes, he could live with this.

On the second day, he had pretty much settled in and was all the more content with the surroundings. He'd spend his last free day before the start of his new job just taking it easy and getting to know his match. He'd been informed that she was on her way and would arrive right about… now.

He was having a late breakfast at the dinner table when he heard the front door opening. He got up, took the bunch of roses he'd bought just for this moment in his hand, and walked to the foyer. 

And he stopped dead in his tracks, very much not happy and very, very confused.

Read on AO3 >>

#harringrove fic #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy x steve #steve x billy #suometar writes #aggressiveviking #The Family Values Program

[awesomefringey]

I don't care if Louis gets called out for Freddie comments. Even if it's his son, he has no right to push it in our faces when he fought back against it so hard during Belfast and all those baby bottle references with rbb and sbb and the fucking name Freddie Reign. In fact that part pisses me off the most! It's in the fucking name. Once that kid grows up and learns why his name is Freddie Reign and that his father is closeted and used him (whether he is his or not), he's gonna feel so much guilt and anger.

Now, I can understand him getting mad at the disrespectful babygate theories and people who make everything about the kid not being his and harassing his family. But maybe he should just, you know, quit bringing the kid to concerts and mentioning him. Course he always wants to do whatever he wants and doesn't care what people think, so fine. I'll go back to not supporting him, like I've been doing since the kid was born.

I think we’re all just very sensitive to the topic and when it comes up twice a year, Louis overacts the whole father of the year to a point it not only feels forced and insincere, it’s just super awkward. The only people who enjoy that aspect of his image are teenagers who latch on to children of celebs like it’s totally normal to. Freddie is used as an asset to show Louis’ private life. And I’m appalled by it.

This little boy needs protection and Louis SHOULD be the one to enforce it. Like Liam does it, like Zayn does it. Instead Louis parades that kid around for the cameras so weirdos on the internet can either “idolize” or “demonize” a minor who never asked to be in the spotlight.

#ask #bbg #louis is a daddy but not a dad

[ninareviewsfilms]

Queering the heteronormative… but make it pink

“I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! Oh my god... they were right. I'm a homo.”

Released in 1999, But I’m a Cheerleader is truly an iconic, camp-filled queer film ahead of its time. I remember stumbling across this film when I was 13. Perfect timing for someone questioning their sexuality, and life in general. I was immediately hooked so watching But I’m a Cheerleader has become a ritual of sorts; it has become my favorite queer film. Uneducated and unfamiliar with queer media, the younger me was immediately drawn to the B-movie chick-flick aesthetic (I was, and still am, a devourer of chick-flicks). Little did I know I was about to watch a genius concoction of satire that subverts the heteronormative by whimsically playing with outrageous queer stereotypes.

Played exquisitely by Natasha Lyonne, the protagonist Megan is sent to a conversion camp by her devout Christian parents, believing her to be a lesbian (oh no). In denial, Megan exasperates: “I’m not perverted. I get good grades. I go to church. I’m a cheerleader!”.

Arriving at the camp, we see two outrageously exaggerated gender roles of men and women. The men are dressed in baby blue uniforms, while the women are adorned with pastel pink skirts. On top of the artificially binary gender roles, we also have all the typical stereotypes of queer people: the flamboyant gays, closeted homophobes, goth and butch lesbians, and our very own lipstick lesbian protagonist. The introduction of the camp already reveals the absurdity of heteronormative stereotypes and their enforcement. The film continuously jabs at such norms while Megan begins her journey of self-discovery – coming to terms with her sexuality – in an overtly ridiculous yet candid way.

And on top of tackling such heavy topics humorously, the film also manages to have a very adorable and genuine romance between Megan and Graham (oh Clea DuVall, my bisexual awakening).

Graham, a rebel, and unwavering lesbian is everything pink-loving, ‘girly’ cheerleader Megan is not. They bicker constantly about ideals, and what it means to be gay or straight. With such contrasting personalities, the romantic sparks that fly is undeniable and beautiful to witness. I remember crying; it was the first unapologetically queer film I watched after all. This intricate play into different queer stereotypes stylistically subverts the heteronormative, showing how all types of queer people are valid and inevitable, regardless of their appearance and interests.

Perhaps my favorite aspect of the film, is how Megan's ‘lesbianism’ was to be forced out by the conversion camp, but instead, she learned to accept her sexuality, fall in love, and ended up queerer than ever. The film’s message may be told in a satirical and quirky way, but it is simple: being gay is okay. After years of relentlessly (and yummily) consuming queer media, this is still one of (if not) the only sapphic films with a happy ending. Despite the traumatic backstories of everyone, they all learn to accept themselves, and the world around them. But I’m a Cheerleader was pivotal in the discovery of my own sexuality, and it did it in such an endearing and understandable way that together with Megan, I also learned to accept my sexuality.

#but im a cheerleader #clea duvall #natasha lyonne #film review #queer

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte. How do you separate the stunts from the people? I really struggle with Harry and Louis' images. It's partly to do with how other people perceive them, like Harry as a homewrecker and womanizer, and Louis as a homophobe. Then they do things to push these images. It's especially hard as a queer fan of Louis since the beginning and seeing how flamboyant and free he was and how proud and confident of his sexuality he was to then going deep into the closet and now people think he is homophobic. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that there are artists/actors etc forced in the closet and when ones eventually come out they always talk about how much it damaged their mental health and that they wish they CO earlier as they lost so much time. Because if more public figures CO it would pave the way for others to follow in their footsteps and it would give young lgbtq+s people to look up to, and it would normalize lgbtq+ people in industries like you keep saying. There is everything to gain with it, but the industry is clearly really corrupt and more and more dodgy stuff comes out in the news. It's even worse for Louis because he's saddled with a child that isn't his. Do you think anything will change anytime soon? Some people have CO but it's really far and few between.

Hi, anon!

I seperate the stunts from the people because i know who they really are. I know who they are after observing their behaviour, listening to them and picking up on their silent communication. I filter out the noice which are their lies, attempt at gaslighting and fake personas. I know they're both gay, so i don't listen to anyone who says differently. Like i don't listen to flat-earthers or people who believe trickle-down economics works. They're simply wrong, but there is no point in arguing with them. They don't have the information we do and they don't want to see it.

Since they're both gay they must be closeted. You can’t force anyone out of a closet, even if you feel there are no incentives left for them to stay closeted. I believe they're both forcibly closeted. I don't think L would take advantage of a child like he is to enforce his own closet. If i believed that i would hate him. So i don't think they're closeted by choice. Their behaviour over the years tells me this as well. They are fighting to get to be who they are, but they are prohibited by contracts and old fashioned label views.

Louis is viewed as a homophobe because of his past homophobic statements. But none of the people who view him as such know he's got a triangle tattoo, wore a rainbow apple t-shirt when Tim Cook came out, sings i love him i hate it and bathes his audience in rainbow lights. They also don't know he's closeted and with Harry. They don't know how closeting in Hollywood works, how long they're willing to go to closet someone and how much money is at stake. We know this, and we know the truth.

We also know that H can't be a homewrecker or a womaniser if he's gay. We know he's queercoding and not queerbaiting. We know he wants to show us he's queer and took on the role of a closeted queer man, because he identified with it. We know he has to do things he doesn’t want to do to be able to get more freedom to the things he wants to do. We know it's a balance he has to keep.

When they do stuff in stunts that are unacceptable, i always try to give them the benefit of the doubt. They are good people in an ugly business. No hands are fully clean. But i also call them out when they do unacceptable stuff, because the unacceptable stuff shouldn't be normalised and accepted. I'm not down with blind idolisaton. I tolerate bearding and stunting, but i struggle when they mix it with brand promotion. That i have zero tolerance for. I'll empathise with you for having to drag a woman around to seem straight, but i draw the line at you trying to sell me citrus fruit bikes at the same time and acting bothered by the paps. That's emotional manipulation. Fuck that, no sympathy from me.

I hate both their public images. I don't blame anyone who buys into their images and i agree with the people who critisise their images. If somebody thinks Louis is homophobic or a dead beat dad, or Harry a womaniser or a queerbaiter i think fair enough. Publicly they are. H and L don't get to complain about their images, even though that's not who they are because they are perpetuating them.

I think they deal with their fake images, lies and horrible public behaviour by being open, truthful and honest to themselves, and with their friends and family. I think they're only closeted to the general public. Fandom knows who they truly are and don't buy into their images. If fandom did believe L is homophobic or H a queerbaiter they wouldn't have fans at all, who would be fans of that? Some fans buy into some of their images, but not everything.

I'm not sure when things will change for them, i don't think they have much of a say. Best we can hope for is Sony seeing profit in an out H and L or it's a contract running it's course that will make it possible for them to come out. I have no idea. But things are changing, albeit slowly. Younger music artist are not okay with closeting anymore. It's not neccessary either. Being queer is more and more accepted and normalised. The business is still ugly and people have skeletons in their closets. So it's complicated. If H and L were 10 years younger i think they'd be allowed out.

In the meantime, filter out the noice and try to see them for who they are. They're not perfect people, but they're good people in a difficult situation trying to make the best of things. They will come out one day, we just don't know when.

#fandom #harry image #louis image #boyband politics #contracts #closeting #coming out

[izacore]

I truly don't know what's happened to fandom that we're just supposed to nod and smile and take whatever they put in front of us. We can't question anything because of tHeiR cLoSeTs. As long as he keeps wearing tank tops and he looks good fandom will take anything.

My main reason why I'm not really vibing with the fandom at the moment is because the majority of people seem to be convinced that that's the way things have to be in order for them to have careers when I'm convinced that it's not necessarily true.

I think that both Harry and Louis have potential to be truly something great and to change the game for everyone. Just because they're following the footsteps of other famous, closeted artists, who eventually became iconic (especially in Harry’s case), it doesn't mean that it's the way it should be. I believe that the cycle has to be broken for a true change in the industry to happen and that both Harry and Louis could be the ones to start it. Because what example does Harry StylesTM actually gives gay artists coming after him? That you have to be closeted and go through the stunts and forced closeting to become so big? Isn't the narrative that's around the fandom a big... homophobic? It's basically telling people to stay in the closet and play by the rules to achieve any kind of success. I thought that Larries wanted to create a safe space for, well, gay stars and prove that none of that is necessary, that you can still gain supporters and sell out stadium when gay and in a happy relationship. But it's like ever since Harry and Louis gave up it's suddenly okay to enforce the system on them because apparently money, fame and career are more important that their lives or integrity or being fulfilled. And it's fucked up that the fandom just confirms basically everything that I suppose 1dhq was trying to prove to them and that all that trauma was for nothing because they could have very well ended up in the same place they are now if they played by the rules all along (or maybe... not, because it was their resilience and bravery and fight that initially inspired people to support them so fiercely)

I had never stanned any celebrity before hl, never felt any need to until I discovered them and felt like those are people I want to support. But I don't see those people anymore and maybe it's just the time for people to admit that they're still living off the people they were in 2015 who long since then stopped existing. And I'm not sure I want to support the kind of people they became.

#ask #anonymous #this may be my last reply today as my journey is almost over and i keep losing signal #if people have so little faith in them and think they should just follow the system then what can you do

[darkryt]

Hopes and Fears for Arcane Season 2

So we're getting teasers for the best show adapted from a MOBA that you can watch on Netflix getting its second season and a release date of November 24. Just today we got a little teaser clip so here's my hopes and dreams and fears for Arcane Season 2.

HOPES

Vander being Warwick. Caitlyn and Vi relationship A logical progression for how Vi turns from where she was at the start of Arcane into how she is in League in a way that's missing from her compared to most of the other characters. You can watch Arcane and imagine how Jinx in Arcane changes into Jinx in League of Legends, or how Caitlyn does or Viktor does - you might have to make some inference and assumptions, but the arc is trackable in way that is just … not with Vi. How does someone hurt by Piltover's systems so much became a person who works for those systems? Someone who fights because she has to into someone who revels in violence and power? From a loving sister whose every motivation is reuniting with her sister to an Enforcer who just beats people up? The flashback they've mentioned in interviews of Ekko trying to rescue Powder from Silco because that seems like a formative experience for how their relationship is in the modern day. My girls Renata Glasc and Seraphine, even if it justs cameos. OPTIONAL: Vi and Jinx teaming up to fight or subdue Warwick and this allowing them to heal their trauma by proxy (but propbably too optimistic for this series). Exploration of Vi and Caitlyn's relationship. Ideally with kissing and or even sex. Just something that makes it unambigously clear they are gay in a way that bigots can't point to and say "It's ambigious!!!!" More story with Sevika. I saw a theory floated online that Sevika was concieved of as way to give Vi a big fight at the end without her fighting Jinx because the writers decided their relationship wasn't quite at the point where she and Jinx would have this all-out, dragout, knock-down brawl, and I'd be really sad if they spent as much time allowing Sevika to exist and to serve as a rival to Vi only for them to dump her in a closet or kill her off cheaply as the story zeros in on how Vi and Jinx become mortal enemies. Jinx hallucinating Silco the way she does Mylo and Claggor.

FEARS

Timebomb or Ekko becoming Jinx's boyfriend, and espcially not any sort of arc where Ekko's love redeems or reforms Jinx in any way Orianna being Singed's daughter. At first I liked this idea by after a blog-post by Orianna super-fan (here) I'm off it. Jinx getting a boyfriend at all, really. Her story has enough drama without a shoe-horned romance plot! Caitlyn and Vi being queer-baited and doing lots of yearning looks that look good in an AMV but not actually progressing their relationship in any meaningful way. Vi getting amnesia. In at least some versions of League story (and League of Legends has a … let's say loose relationship with things like canon and continuity), Vi's League story involves her losing her memories before mysteriously re-appearing as a Piltover Enforcer. This is an example of a broader trend of League of Legends' approach to storytelling that makes a lot of things ambigious or mysterious (cough, so they can make it up later or change their minds). But Vi losing her memories in Arcane would be such a lazy cheap way to effectively give her an identity death in order to force her to fit into the contour of League Vi without doing any of the character building or dramatic work to explore or explain how someone goes from poor orphan to collared criminal to an Enforcer and I just really hope they don't do it! Skye taunting Viktor in the form of hallucinations that egg him on towards his eventually fall and turn to robotic villainy. Not that it wouldn't be in-keeping with the series as it stands (both Vi and Jinx see people who aren't there), but Skye being oblierated was such an obvious fridging-manpain moment that I don't want to be reminded about it, and I've never really watched the reboot of Battlestar Galactica until it was doing re-runs on streaming but there's a character in there whose whole thing is being a hot sexy succubus projected into someone's mind (and remember that's a sci-fi story) and it was so stupid and tropey that I just don't want to see anything similiar. This may not be Arcane's fault but man. I don't want them to go there! Likewise on the note of Sevika, I don't want to see her just unceremoniously killed off in the first three episodes just to make room for the Jinx/Vi rivalry. Some sort of redemption for Jinx that involves her dying or sacrificing herself. It's 2023! 2024 when this comes out! Support women's wrongs! If you ARE going to let her have a redemption, don't take the coward's way out!

AMBIVALENT Viktor completing his transformation from sickly man seeking cure for his ilnness to a robotic terrorist who thinks everybody should become a robot. Shimmer being linked to the Void. This is a theory I've see floated around due to some visuals in the scene where Viktor introduces Shimmer to the Hexcore. I don't really care if this pans out or not. Some people might want to Whether Cassandra dies. It'd be strange for her to die but Jayce and Viktor to survive (and you know those two will because they are Named Characters) but for Cassandra to die in the same room. It'd provive angst and tension between Caitlyn, Jinx and Vi, sure, but Caitlyn already has reason enough to want to arrest Jinx even if her own mother doesn't die directly from the missile. Whether Camille shows up. Given the focus on conflict between Piltover and Zaun, it's a logical step to have the walking embodiment of Piltover's oppression show up, but I don't feel like she needs to be present.

#arcane fandom #arcane #vi league of legends #league of legends #speculation

[heathersdesk]

I'm never going to find it again, but some lovely child of God was trying to reconcile the removal of punitive actions against the LGBTQ+ community in the LDS Church at large with the CES crackdown on church school campuses by saying that CES doesn't represent the First President or the Quorum of the Twelve.

I hate to be the one to tell anyone this, but the First Presidency and some members of the Quorum of the Twelve are CES. The First Presidency are the Board of Trustees for all church-owned schools. Christofferson and Rasband are board members. How the Honor Code is shaped and enforced is traceable directly back to the First Presidency.

So I get the desire to separate CES and their actions from the larger Church. But that's just not an accurate way to understand this situation.

A more accurate way to understand it would be that the Church is trying to target its punitive sanctions against the LGBTQ+ community specifically at young people, the current generation who is:

Most likely to fight back, thereby getting broad support from outside the Church and inspiring real change. Especially since they have the historical and media literacy to recycle the same playbook from the 70s by which young people used BYU in the media to ultimately change the racial restriction policies, they don't want BYU students to do the same thing with the LGBTQ+ community. By filtering these students out, they want to prevent the consolidation of power on the public stage/lessen legal liability for queer students against the Church.

Least likely to back down/accept conversation therapy and mixed orientation marriages as solutions.

More susceptible (they hope) to being forced back into the closet. There's a flailing hope that if they can get to young people early enough, they can stop them from ever questioning or discovering their queerness at all.

Dallin H. Oaks has been a bully against the queer community for decades. He spent a significant portion of his tenure hunting queer students among the student body and overseeing the development of pain aversion conversion therapy techniques against them. It's not a stretch to say that he thinks enough pain will suppress the Church's queer "problem." He's been the author and orchestrator of queer suffering for so much of his tenure in the Church.

To the extent that the Church is capable of any real change in respect to the LGBTQ+ community, I don't think it will happen until Oaks dies and no longer has control of the levers of power.

I know no one likes to hear/admit that change in the Church, a lot of times, is just waiting for the right people to die... but we have a long history of being able to prove how true that is with our senior leadership. Nevertheless, I have long said that I think this is where we are.

And at 91 years old, I don't think we realistically have too much longer to wait🤷‍♀️

Being part of change in the Church has to include being realistic about who/what we're up against. Getting these things nailed down is essential to understanding the milestones to reach for and what can realistically be accomplished where we are right now.

#mormon #lds #mormonism #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #queerstake #religion

[conceptsformyowner]

toy Closet

Your closet is divided in two. One part has two doors, and the other just one.

One day, you make me help you sort your clothes out, so that you can give or stash away a significant portion of them. When we're done, the section of the closet that has a single door, half the size as the other one, is completely empty. When opened, all that's visible is a couple empty shelves and a coat hanger railing at the top.

This will now serve a new purpose.

We make sure the door shuts close well, making it pitch black inside, and add a small lock to it. We make the shelves removable and even add a few extra slots where they can be slid in place at different heights. We add a few bolts in fun places, and it's ready!

The toy Closet.

This is where all the toys go. The paddles, chains, locks (but not the keys), ropes, canes, mittens, gags, hoods, and me. This is now where I'm stored.

When the shelves are off, Its big enough for me to stand inside it with no issues, even with some room to spin around if I so fancy. But when they're on...well... that's a whole different story.

You change the height of the shelf whenever you want, from crushing me bent in half my chest against my legs, to kind of sitting up in a fetal position, with room just small enough to not let me stretch my whole torso properly, to being comfortably sitting but unable to actualy stand.

You decide how much I'll suffer. You decide for how long. You decide if you'll leavt it open, or lock it and go, leaving me stored alone and helpless.

You train me to be able to take longer and longer storage times, enforcing strict stretching sessions before and after storage to keep my body from stopping you from using me.

You lock me in here and forget, or invite people over either to the living room or right next to the closet, to your bed.

You teach me that this is my place. This is where I belong if I'm not being used. I get excited every time you open the door, thanking you for simply being able to lie down on the floor, the only place outside of storage where I'm to be allowed.

Sometimes you might allow me to have my phone in here, either as a kindness, of with a purpose like to write a concept, or as a timer, telling mw how you'll only let me out once my battery runs out completely.

When I misbehave, you tell me to go to my room. Which I know means that I'm to lock myself up in here until you remember or want to let me out.

I love the idea of you inviting someone over and showing tjem your kinky arsenal by opening the closet door. I imagine them seeing a closet full of fun gear and at the very bottom, trapped underneath a shelf, me, your toy, helpless suffering and quiet, as not to cause myself more trouble. I imagine tjem picking something from the closet and then closing it again, leaving me in the dark.

I imagine this being the condition you give me for orgasming. I want an orgasm? Very well, I'll have to get under here and then the minutes I take to orgasm are the hours I'll have to stay here after I do before being taken out of storage. Forcing me to be in here, uncomfortable and in pain, sitting in my own filth, any horny feeling gone and replaced with absolute clarity about the level of suffering I'm enduring.

If you do that enough times, you might even condition me to not want orgasms.

pathetic toy

#text #ordered #fun fact I'm actually writing this from inside that very closet right now #im in pain #its tiny #aaaaaa #i love it so much #concept

[transenbyconfessions]

Tw venting, assuming people's genders, + mentioned enforced gender conformity / anti-gnc sentiment ???

I know it's such a small thing to complain about, but I'm really fed up with how insensitive people can be when it comes to the concept of "trans eggs" and (suspected) closeted people. Like Just Because someone dresses or talks about gender in a way that doesn't seem gc cis to you Doesn't Mean you have the right to call them an "egg", Especially in places they can hear/see!! (like all the people who do it in Youtuber's comment section or chats)

It just feels really insensitive and invasive to assume not only that you can know someone's gender from things like dress or acting, but also that you have the right to assume and act on those assumptions in public. Especially since this tends to go hand in hand with assuming people need to be "cis passing" (like that's one single standard with only one method of getting there /neg) or often done to gnc-presenting people or like cosplayers who are literally just having fun. It feels so disrespectful to say this shit in general but especially where the person your talking about it can see. Especially since it can feel like people are forcing labels (that aren't yours) on you and/or like you "have" to come out regardless of how You feel.

Submitted March 12, 2023

#transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary #gender nonconforming #transphobia #internalized transphobia