I thought of a good way to describe my issues again: It feels like a lot of things have piled up in the last few years. My mom dying is the biggest one I'd say, but me turning 18 last year and 19 this year have also been big stressors. There's also been the tablet thing too, plus me returning to school in person last year. It's a lot. The last big thing for me is High School ending. That won't happen for a bit, but it'll be added to the pile soon enough. Sometimes (and this is slightly hyperbolic language, I suppose) it feels like I'm buried in 15 different layers of stress. But I repeat: it only feels like that sometimes. Not 24/7, but also it happens frequently enough that I'd say it's not like it's a non-existent problem. I wish I could delay high school ending, even more than I already can delay it. Because I think I can go until I'm 21 (which means another year or two), but that still feels like so little time. I hope I can go until I'm 21. I don't know what I'll do if I can't.
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omg have you watched shiva baby. it has dianna agron in it and rachel sennott
I'm watching it right now for the first time!! you inspired me.
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anxious fukuzawa i want to kiss you ᰔ
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Sometimes writing headcanons is quite a bizarre feeling for me, because I've just finished an answer and think "wow, I'm so happy! :D" and a minute later I hear the sound of sirens, gunfire and explosions in the distance and I'm like, "not anymore, probably :D"
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Redrawing an old piece from 2019 by going back to my roots, using only a phone and my finger 👍
Old Art.
New Art
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any tumblr friends wanna adopt a kitten. he's very sweet. :(
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frankly eerie how quiet this arena is
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I still don't know if I actually have hyperfixations anymore. I mean, I've displayed interest in three topics recently, but none of them have commanded my full attention (in the way I think my old hyperfixations used to). And it's still really hard for me to prove all this, because I'm dealing with a fear that my ability to focus in on one subject is going away. How can you prove something like that unless you can somehow see into your past?
We still don't even know if I'm just overthinking and getting insecure about nothing. Hell, for all I know my interests have always been like this. Because I legitimately can't remember how they were in the past, especially after the rough couple of years I've been having. It wouldn't shock me if I was so paranoid and insecure I was making a big deal out of something minor, but it also wouldn't really shock me if I was onto something here.
I'm also tempted to wonder if this is because of the tablet again. It'd be hard to prove that, but it very well could be. In any case, this isn't very fun to have to deal with and I sincerely wish I could stop myself from overthinking like I always do.
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I know I've made this meme before but I needed to make it again because I am going through it rn
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Being a (wildlife) conservationist is so weird. I have unparalleled and radical hope in humanity, I have an unprecedented insight into how appalling the state of things are. I have no faith in politicians, but I will continue to lobby them. I know we are living through a biological collapse, I believe things will get better. I do not watch the news, I have the news imprinted in my brain. I will not rely on the public. I continue to rely on the public. I keep my work life separate, I am and will be continually ever shaped by my experiences in the conservation industry. I'm very good of not taking the weight of my friend's issues, I have the weight of the world. I do not believe in miracles, I am begging one too happen
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guys if I change the icon will you know it's me
I will be using the same hashtag so
the aesthetics guys, aesthetics
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